The Washington herald., 1914-12-29

who is not in love can figure to a hair'l
breath. One who is in love refuses e
! figure at all.
"Why, we can get along splendIdly.
was the way the lovers put 1t to each
other. II they had been asked to take a
pencil and figure up the cost of the sugar
and butter and meat they would have
felt insulted.
They weer married, of course. Then
should have come a wOOdbine cottage
but the rent was too high. The land
lords charge SO a month for the cottage
and tuck on the other SIS for the wood
bine.
They went to live over a grocery In
stead. 1t not only fronted on the main
street, but there was stovepipe hole
in the kitchen floor through which
groceries could be ordered right of the
ice. Mrs. Hope put this forward as an
excuse for living there. and all her
friends were satisfied.
Mr.. Hope had to have his high collars.
his games Of pool. his cigars and other
little eXtravagances, and although the
father stopped her pin-money, Mrs.
Hope went right on in her career. One
evening. after about three months of
married happiness. Mr.. Hope came home
with furrowed brow. and in answer to
questions he threw a bill on the table.
W nat Is Nnal ne dSheu.
why, the butchers biIl," was an
swered.
And that2"
"Our grocer's bill"
And that"
Its the coal bill. isn't it
Il should say it was Nellie, what has
become of the money 1 have given you
every week."
Il have used it,"
$50 in debit
or course, the wife cried. and there
were recriminations and charges and
counter-charges, and the god OF love few
out of the window. and the grocer's boy
heard enough through the stovepipe hole
TO make him pause and eXclaim: Gee.
but l call that going some,'
This was the beginning OF a trouble
that grew and grew with the passing
of time until IL became unbearable.
Neither the fathers nor the mothers
would be drawn into It. The young
husband refused to lessen his personal
expenses. and. OF course. the wife was
defiant about il.
Cupid is a curious little Critter. He
says to young man: Here's q fine
young girl Marry her
He doesn't ask anything about finan-
ces or cooking. but when he has made
a match of 1t he goes away patting
himself on the back as IL he had done
a very smart thing.
And when things turn out badly with
the cub of young man and the young
girl. both Of whom ought to have re-
manned in the nursery at least two
years longer, the old folks get out of ii
by saying: TT has turned out just as
might have been expected"
At the end OF year there was a
separation. and it was then that the
respective Uncle Johns were written
to. They had had their talk and laid
their plans When the one Uncle John
had come into the presence Of Mr.. Britt
Hope he said:
Good boy! I was glad to hear of
your pluck. You did a very foolish
thing in marrying a silly girl like that.
but you are not the first to be led
astray by a dolls face. They tell me
that she don't know enough to drive a
hen off the doorstep"
"Oh. Nellie has some good points"
was the hesitating reply.
Well. have you seen a lawyer about
your divorce?"
Moo"
Better come right out with me now. |
rhe longer you are tied to such a thing
Is that the worse for you. Who is the |
best lawyer in town."
Il thought I wouldn't be in any
hurry about the divorce. Uncle John"
But I've got a gal out West picked |
out for you. Instead of running you |
n debt she'll help you to make money. |
Did your wife throw dishes at you and |
pull hair?''
No. not as bad as that. Sometimes |
You think she would have murdered |
'ou IL you hadn't been on your guard ?" |
why. Uncle John, 1 couldn't have |
written you anything to make you |
hink things were as bad as that" said |
he nephew.
oh, you didn't say things right out. |
nut l could fully realize how much you |
must have suffered. It was awful, awful, |
Britt; and l am here to make a change |
or you. When the world knows through |
he divorce courts just how that fiend of |
! woman ruined your life 1t will be more /
han aghast that such things can be-"
Please don't refer to her as a flend,
lncle."
But how else? To economic all you
'ossibly could, you were wearing paper
oliars and smoking the cheapest cigars
nd buying your clothes second hand; and |
here she was, going to the moving pic
ures every afternoon and buying candy
y the ton. oh, the world shall know-it
hall know! But, come. We must not
ose any time seeing a lawyer"
Uncle John, III" stammered the
ephew.
Come along and end this awful misery
5 soon as possible. Why, I'm afraid to
eave you alone here for half an hour.
'ou may commit suicide"
''Oh, 1 shAn't do that"
well, take a little time and think Of
II her mean acts and set them down on
apsr for lawyer, Don't spare her. I