El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-19
Beauties Of Deafness
Adventures Of a Crouch
IS T FEEL sorry Tor Spoonable,1 said
the retired merchant. "He's
shamefully deaf, and never en-

} ee FEEL sorry Tor Spoonable," said
the retired merchant "He's
shamefully deaf, and never en-
/ Joys communion with his fellows
We'll he doesn't miss anything re-
Piled the hOtelkeeper. 81 often Ssh ]
didn't have any communion with nv
fellows, for they bore me to death talk
ing about the income tax and the Pana-
ma canal and such things. Most of the
people l know spend the best wears of
their lives talking about things that
make no difference, and 1 have to listen
to them or lose a good deal of trade. Ny
friends all come into this hotel and lean
against the desk, and chew nv costly
toOthpIcks, and talk for hours about the
-qoggone weather we're having, and
have to pretend I'm interested.
IF 1 hit one of them over the head
with an lnkstand he'd spend the rest
OF his life trying to put a Grimm in me
and ruin my business. He'd tell All his
trlends that my bedticks are all stuffed
with barbed wire and that the roof leaks.
II L were only deaf these friends could
come and talk their arms off and [
wouldn't have, to pretend that I was en-
lOying their remarks.
Last { evening the Village Welfare
Club held meeting and I had to 90,
along with about 500 other MARTYRS who
wanted to stay at home. but couldn't
think up a good excuse So we sat in a
stuffy hall for three hours and listened
TO lot OF WIndbrOken orators. and when
the meeting was over we all had head
aches and our tempers were a SIGHT to
be seen If man doesn't 90 to these
meetings he is supposed to be lacking
IN Puoic spirit, and man in business
can afford to rest under such a sus-
PIcIon- On my way home I passed
EDenezer Plaster's house and saw him
seated by the window reading a red blood
n mover he was having the time of his
me as stood there watching him, and
every once G1Il IN a while he'd jump up and
y ell. mats the way a good story al
ways affects him, dad burn him.
. I've been thinking ever since how
fortunate that man Is. He can't hear
q word you say unless he puts a large
unneI INTO his ear, and YOU pour your
into that funnel. He doesn't
nave to go to these doggone meetings
u uh9 Welfare club, or to any other
unctlon where the heavyweight bores
moot of their mouths. He doesn't have
o attend political rallies or 90 to anna
eur concerts, because everybody knows
le's deaf. He can Just sit in his easv
har at home and read the latest work |
" Nicholas Carter, while unfortunates
whose ears are. on the job have to 90 to |
meetings and listen to half baked spell |
lnders, or else lose a lot of business.
Ebenezer Plaster ought to be the
applest man IN this town, and I ex-
ect he IS. He misses all the ordeals /
he other night Prof Staccato, who
caches singing, gave an entertainment,
IS pupils being the performers. He
-anted to show them off and thew were
nXllous to show off, doggone them. The
ro1essoT came around here with his
nported smile and said that ought to
ny at least six tickets, as the parents
his pupils are all good friends and pa
'ons OF mine. Of course, had to fall
IT It, Everybody knows my hearing has
razor edge, and so there was no ex-
Use for me. Now, Ebenezer could have