The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-20
HOW THEY MADE UP
By cLAUDINE SISSON.

Could she cook? She didn't KNOW
enough about it to fry an egg.
Could she sew? She had once al
most sewed on button.
Had she ever made purchase IN the
line of provisions? She simply knew
that breakfast foods were ten cents a
package.
How about sweeping, busting, bed
making and window and dish washing!
Oh, mother had always done those
things.
She had started out once to beat
rug, but after the third whack with a
stick she had seen girl friend pass
ing and had run over to the fence to
talk with her.
And had he ever bought groceries?
Yes; when he was a boy he had once
bought three pounds of sugar and a
bar of soap for his mother.
Had he ever split wood or logged
coal? Never.
Had he ever sat down to a meal
where the meat was burned, the pota-
toes UNDERGONE, the coffee slops, and
the pudding tasting like mixture of
sawdust and molasses? His mother
had taken good care that he hadn't
Had he ever replaced broken win
dow pane, repaired a lock on a door,
made use Of pot of glue, handled a
hammer or SAW Never, but he had
handled billiard cue.
father paid, or the amount of his gas
bills? No. Had anyone asked him the
price Of ton Of coal he could not have
given 1t correctly!
He had place in the office Of his
fathers factory at a salary of $25 per
week, and was really worth about five
dollars of it.
And Benson Chivers passed his
twenty-first year, fell in love with Con-
stance Jewett, and she with him, and
they had matrimony on the brain
within three months!
Benson, you are an idiot" said the
young mans father.
Constance, you are an idiot" re-
peated the girls father.
But | love Benson"
Perfect idiocy"
"And he loves me-"
More idiocy!"
And we are going to get married."
go ahead. There may be law to
prevent two idiots from marrying, but
never heard of it,
David" said Mrs. Jewett, when the
daughter had run away to her room,
we were young once ourselves"
"Yes?"
And we met and fell in love"
"Yes?"
And got married"
"Well?"
I'VE were perhaps too young, and
no doubt folks said we were idiotic,
but we pulled through all right
Good Lord, wife, you could run
house bang-up, and | had trade that
was bringing me in five dollars a day.
Our Constance don't even know how
to use feather buster, and as for the
young man, he couldn't earn ten dol
lars week outside his fathers office"
but they will pull through some
how"
Wei, | have had my say"
There was marriage and a brief
bridal tour, and then came the cottage
and housekeeping. 1t was fun settling
that cottage. They did it all them
selves. Nothing fitted There were
wobbles and wrinkles and FUCKERS
even in the dishes. 1t took a whole
week to get the window shades to
hang straight. 1t took another to get
the ache out of their wounded thumbs
and the carpet tacks out of their heels |
1t was great fun, though, and while !
settling was going on there was no
attempt at cooking. Crackers, cheese
and sardines were good enough for
them.
On the first morning of their real |
they were to have a
breakfast of beefsteak, fried onions
and delicious coffee, with graham
gems hot from the oven. The young
husband was walking in the back yard
to sharpen his appetite up when called
in to the meal. He sat down at the
head of the table and began to carve
the steak
"By George!"
What Is 1t, Benson?"
He tasted of the onions.
by thunder"
is anything wrong?" asked the
wife.
He took sip of coffee and spat 1t
out with;
THE DEVIL"
Benson | ask you what is wrong?"
Il don't believe any human husband
was ever called in to such meal be-
fore"
"Is-isn't it cooked right"
There isn't any cooking about 1t.
You have spoiled everything. Why +
didn't you tell ne that you couldn't
cook"
You never asked me-"
But | supposed you could, of