davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1914-03-22
By DOROTHY BLACKMORE

typewriter stopped and q young girl
stood framed in the vine-hung door.
Had the Lady Of the Label really ap-
peared? Barker caught a swift breath.
The girl was smiling even as did the
face on the label
I'VE have no need of an introduction -
1t was the girl who spoke first, and her
slim hand was extended and her full red
lips parted over a row of pearly teeth
Il remember the Senior Barker as If it
were but yesterday that he visited our
home"
Barker's kindly smile came to his res
cue.
II did not know that you-that-well-I
have not seen you before" he said.
Color overspread the girls lovely
cheeks
Il was very young when you came
The senior did perhaps not notice me-"
1T does not seem possible that could
ever have forgotten" he told her with
wondering light In his eyes. He had
stepped within the summer house at her
bidding. Barker did not realize that this
The Washington herald., 1914-03-22

Il would have you know that my dear
father conceived the idea of making me
his partner. He sent me to London to
take a course in English and commerce
at the Pitt Institute and I now do the
correspondence which the senior was good
enough to praise. The Lady OF the
Label, as Senior Barker POLITICALLY put it
is none other than my humble self. 1t
was my fathers wish that adorn the
product that has been so good to us. He
bids me thank you for the part you have
played so generously"
The letter was signed Maria Gamboza.
Barker became more than ever possessed
with the idea of meeting the girl. He
longed to look into the original of those
smiling eyes and he determined to take
a long contemplated vacation and sail
for Italian shores
When he left his Office he took the
photograph from his desk and put II
carefully in his suitcase. While crossing
the ocean he fell to wondering just what
the Fates had in store for him. He was
glad, perhaps for the first time In his
life, that nature had been generous with
The Washington herald., 1914-03-22

is not lost. Eugenics will preserve us.
Perky of Portland and Eugenical Mat
rimony will save the day.
proceed" / said. Il see you've
caught the bug-show me its stinger?"
"Perkins grabs the situation by its left
hind leg" said Perkins. perkins or
ganizes the Perkins Pluperfect Parent
Company. It's a sort of matrimonial
agency" he explained. in a more human
tone; "plush-carpeted testing parlors
with physicians in gold-rimmed eye
glasses and mutton-chop whiskers-"
"Tortoise-shell rims are higher in the
browishness," l said.
Good" said Perky, making memo
on his cuff. General smell of iodoform
everywhere about the Offices. Stenog-
raphers all dressed like trained nurses.
Courtship rooms in white enamel like
hospital operating rooms. Rubber gloves
furnished for those who wish to hold
hands; antiseptic gauze wells supplied
through which the hygienic betrothal
kiss may be given. And"
"And whatl" asked.
"And." said Perky, Perkins furnishes
the soul mates; Perkins furnishes the
legal-tender life partners. Department
One-Males. Department Two-Fe-
males. You come to the Office. Trained
nurse receives you with pad of blanks.
Takes your name, address, names of
parents, references. Says Please take a
chair Looks up your pedigree in the
filing system. Finds you are descended
from Noah. Throws you out of the Of
fce-Noah hit the fermented grape
juice-may be taint of intoxication in
your blood. Or finds you are descended
from Adam. Throws you out of the Of
fce-Adam a notorious outcast-may be
taint of apple in your blood. Finds you
are descended from self-respecting Bra
lillian monkey. Accepts your $50 sub
scription to Perkins Pluperfect Parent
Matrimonial Agency as a probationer.
Leads you to the chute-zip! you do
down to the Eugenic Testing Parlors.
If you are material for pluperfect par
ent, Perkins tattooer brands you over
the right eye with the Perkins trade
mark"
"Ain't that nicel' said.
''Finel" said Perky glowingly. Then
what? Chief Executive Statistician reg
isters your number. Chief Executive
Selector chooses gentleman most suit
able for you. Looks over your pedigree
card. Sees you are descended from
Brazilian monkey. Chooses suitable
partner for you from subscribers (male)
descended from South African apes.
The Washington herald., 1914-03-22

y should be-to you," he said very
gravely.
She made a wry little face. Also
her right hand went out in a little
impatient gesture.
'Neddy, don't be horrid," she urged.
I'm not" said he. "why, goodness
gracious. child. it would be You'd
have to be in armor. of course?' he
broke OF suddenly.
OF course" she admitted with the
faintest OF added color.
well, DON'T" said he
For what specific reason?" she de-
manded.
Because ! ask it."
That isn't enough"
He frowned.
Isn't it," said he. Then let me say,
because, if you do persist-if you don't
care any more for me than that, don't
think I'd better come here any more"
She looked at him wide-eyed for a mo-
ment. Then quietly she slipped of the
ring on the third finger OF her left hand
and passed it to him.
las you like" said she. Il shall be
Jeanne dare tomorrow"
Before he could demonstrate she was
gone. She stepped past him and he heard
The Washington herald., 1914-03-22
A r MS AND THE GIRL

It's utterly preposterous and impos-
sible."
is it? Well, just wait until tomor-
row and see."
He bit his lips. At first he had
thought she might be joking; he saw.
however. that she was thoroughly in
earnest.
Helen" said he. you know I'm not
narrow nor hide-bound. I've never
said a word about the cause as you
choose to call 1t, your interest in 1t.
nor your work for it. But this is the
last straw. Why on earth doesn't your
mother stop your
She smiled archly.
Perhaps she doesn't want to stop
me-" she suggested.
Frisby grunted.
Frisby started to be angry, thought
better of #. and smiled that charming
smile of his.
"oh, WELL" he said easily. you won't
do 1t. anyway"
"won't?" she said. with just little
crispness to her tones. why won't I?'
well, chiefly because 1 ask you not
to-"
"oh. are you so very. very Impor-
tant?'
The Washington herald., 1914-03-22

him in the matter of appearance. As he
surveyed himself critically in the mirror
it was a well knit frame he saw. with
head of glossy black hair and keen
brown eyes. His well made American
clothes sat comfortably on him. He hoped
that Maria Gamboza preferred dark men.
1t was not. however. until he was sail
ing through the blue waters of the
Mediterranean Sea that he realized just
how near he was to meeting the idol of
his thoughts. He forced business thoughts
into his head that he might fortify him
self against the onslaught of nervous
ness he was a victim to.
1t was on the eastern slope of the
Apennines that the Gamboza villa lay.
As Barker made his way through the
gardens he marveled at the stiffness until
he remembered 1t to be the siesta hour of
the afternoon.
Very suddenly, the incongruous sound
of typewriter keys, clicking rapidly,
smote his car. He followed the direction
from whence the sound came and found
himself facing a summer house set amidst
q clump of Towering shrubbery. The
The Washington herald., 1914-03-22

You two turned loose in the Antiseptic
Counting Parior with Antiseptic Chap
eron. Given five minutes to learn each
others name. Conducted to Perkins
Eugenic Marriage Parlors and-mar-
ried"
"And what if don't love himf" ]
asked.
Love? Exploded idea," says Perky,
Mere creation of troubadours of Post
Gothic Period"
"WelI," l said, Suppose like onions
and he don't?"
"Humphl" said Perky.
Suppose" l said, while I'm going
through this rigamarole / see your Chief
Executive Statistician, and he is dried
up specimen with case of perennial pip
and I fall in love with him? Suppose
your iodoformed Johnny gives me the
corrywobbles and the Chief Executive
Statistician sets my heart beating 7,Soc
strokes a minutes? Suppose-even il
there is no such thing as love-I love
him. and would die for him, and he
seems to me the one mate pre-selected
for me since time began? What then,
Perky?"
Then" said Perky, I'VE would take
you back to the Temporary Retaining
Room and test your blood for traces OF
insanity, because it stands to reason you
must be insane to like man just be-
cause you like him when you have a
chance to marry Perkinized partner
well, take it from me, Perky" l said
athere's nothing in it! If you leave il
to little rosy-top she'll put the double
cross in front of this eugenic business
right now. Little Suzanne will marry
whom she pleases. and that will be the
man that pleases her. | don't say that
if a man is so crazy he thinks he is
Mary Queen of Scots and goes around
trying to chop his own head off with a
pie pan he ought to be allowed to marry
into a respectable grocer's family, but
that's as far as I'd go. / met man
the other day who said they never hung
one in Massachusetts"
Hung what?" asked Perky, for
had him guessing.
witch" / said. They only drowned
them, and laid cellar doors on them and
then piled rocks on the doors until the
witches passed to happier land than
this. Those were bughouse days,
Perky"
81 don't get you," he said.
"They removed the witch strain from
the race, anyway" / said, only l heard
a fellow in the street car say those old
ladies were no more witches than a COW
The Washington herald., 1914-03-22

one of the brainest ideas of some of
our brainest people. Which of your
lovely feet does the shoe pinch, Suz-
anneg
Say, honest! l was hot in minutel
"Oh," said, "if you're going to get
PERSONAL All right, then, it does pinch
I've got as red head of hair as any
human being north of the equator and
south of the north pole, and both my
Imperfect Papa and my Noneugenic
Mamma had red hair, and so did one of
my sponsors in baptism and all my
uncles and sunts and sisters and cous-
ins, and know as we'll as any one that
these Universal Race and Eugenic Re-
form people trot in the same class, and
once they put over this eugenic business
The Washington herald., 1914-03-22
Copyright. IslI)

NIolNIlsnI. IsAi-I
Edward Frisby, sadly perturbed, mount
ed the steps of the Stanwoods' house and
rang the bell. OF the maid, who opened
the door for him, he asked so sharply If
Miss Stanwood were in that the girl in
voluntarily stepped away from him. Helen
StanwoOd. he learned, when the maid
had recovered her breath from her sur
prise al seeing Frisby ill-natured. was
in He stepped into the little reception
room as the maid tripped upstairs. Pres
emily came the soft tread of light foot
steps on the polished stairs. and Helen
vas standing there before him.
why at this unseemly hour Of the
day. Nod?" she was asking.
Il came to set my mind at rest" said
he II want you to tell me it isn't true
that you're going to ride at the head OF
the procession as Joan OF Arc, tomor-
rows
She tried TO smile nonchalantly. blushed
little, and turned away her eyes.
Yes, it's true" said she. "I wasn't
originally cast for that role, you un-
derstand 1t was Alice Mari But she's
Ill. So they've asked me and I'm
Good heavens! OF course you can't"'
said he.
Cant? Why not?' she asked
The Washington herald., 1914-03-22

The first shipment that came with a
new label brought an exclamation OF ad-
miration from Barker. There was a most
bewitching face smiling at him from 4
medallion shaped wreath of flowers He
realized that the Italian workers had an
ticipated his desire and that the label
was more attractive than any he himself
could have designed.
1t was unique, the rapidity with which
Barker fell victim to the smiling face
that greeted mir, from each package of
raisins that he imported. The very first
consignment had prompted him to re-
move one photo-lithograph and put in
an antique gold frame that adorned his
desk. He tried 10 convince himself that
his reason for putting II on his desk
was by way OF advertising. but deep in
his heart he knew better. That same
heart was wont TO beat the faster when
gazing into those smiling pictured eyes
and Barker tell to dreaming about the
original. He began to look upon her as
a living presence. Often he turned as
he was leaving his Office and bade her
good-by and invariably in the morning
he smiled ~reeting at her.
The Washington herald., 1914-03-22

moment alone with Maria Gamboza was
another instance OF Italian progress. The
chaperOn was of the past. Surely YOU
must have worn pinafores during nv
previous visit?'' he questioned all III.
time. reveling in her beauty Could he
would it be possible to win this charming
creature for his own? That was tho
thought uppermost in Barker's mimi
while the girl was speaking.
There was an adorable pout lingering
on her lovely mouth as she looked into
his eyes.
The senor did not so much as rls,ca
in my direction at that time she said
and her ashes swept down like m,
wings Of a raven against her cheeks
Barker fell to wondering IL ever lid,
were so white and delicate as those tba,
covered Maria's eyes.
II am going to make up for my necIi.
sence-in the future" he said, half undo,
his breath, If 1 may-my Lady of the
Label?
Maria Gamboza merely looked at him
as she had done on that first iong-agc
sight Of him-with worship in her eyes.
The Washington herald., 1914-03-22

at them from their watching brothers on
the curb.
Frisby had quite forgotten that client
at his Office. All he thought of was that
wonderful girl at the head of the pro-
cession on the snow-white horse.
Suddenly he realized that he wanted to
tell her he had been all wrong; that she
wasn't making a spectacle Of herself; that
she was something wonderful and sub
lime in her flashing armor. He felt he
had been a frightful cad.
He pushed through the crowd. In an
other moment he had Joined those shame
faced. marching men at the end OF the
procession. One of them bore a banner.
which read:
GEORGE "
Lost his American Colonies
Through
Taxation Without Representation.
THINK IT OVER!
Frisby caught that banner and insisted
upon carrying. Then he marched grImly.
unmlndful apparently, that he was being
invited to go home and wash the dishes
and that he was being told in many
falsetto voices how perfectly sweet he
looked.
There was reviewing stand in front OF
the women's Clubhouse. On the stand
The Washington herald., 1914-03-22
Copyright, 19l4.)

Copyr1ght, I9H.l
UCAY, honest, don't these race tink-
~ ers make you mad? Every time
/ read new wad of copy turned
out by any of these eugenic people j
have the squirms. And, believe me,
girls, I've had to read lot of it lately,
for Perkins is just as crazy over the per-
feet Papa business as any of them. He
two-stepped into the office week ago
with a smile that looked like slice of
watermelon cut the long way of the
fruit, and said: 'Greatr"
whats great, Perky, if you don't
mind telling a little readhead?" | asked,
looking up from my typewriter.
Great idea;" he says dancing over to
his desk. Perkins always leads the pro-
cession. What is the greatest idea of
the day? Eugenics!'
well, maybe" l said. 81 have an
idea it was this purple-blue-pink hair
business, but I'm only piker. Tell lit
tie bricktop"
''EugenicsT" he said, slapping his
hand on his desk. What is the great
American race doing? Going to the
bowwows! Staggering weakly into its
moldy grave! Becoming a race of dod-
dering runts! Look at statistics-Amer-
leans win only % per cent of the inter-
national athletic events - Americans
write only o. per cent of the best books
Americans do only 81 per cent of the
great engineering works - Americans
make only e5 per cent of the great SCI
sntifc Observation-Disclosures create
only ninety-1even per cent of the great
irventionsl Boo! hoop
He put his head down on his desk and
shifted.
What are you doing?' | asked.
Weeping over the deterioration of
the American race" he said, and then
he lifted his head and smiled water
meloniShly again. But l smile!" he
said. Il laugh Ha! ha! l chortle. All
The Washington herald., 1914-03-22

nobody is the Race, so slam it'll Mourn
over It. Weep over it. Tinker it up and
paste adhesive plaster on its nose. |
don't care, and you don't care, and
neither does the Race. Do you know
what these eugenic folks remind me
Off?
what do these eugenic folks remind
you of, Miss Suzanne?" asked Perky,
like the interlocutor at a minstrel show.
"Of a fellow trying to improve the
bed of the Mississippi River by digging
at it with teaspoon" l said.
Suzanne" said Perky, perhaps there
is not as much in this Perfect Papa
idea in the way of money for Perkins
of Portland as / thought, but l don't
like the way you put your foot down on
The Washington herald., 1914-03-22
9DReezA 5UzAleRe Byflls ParkefRnfer

what would happen to the redheads!
'Rous NIT 'eml Us for the black List,
Perky. We're the ones that get hot un-
der the collar at the drop of the hat
We're the real little scrappers. 1t would
be ban and arrier-ban, cross and double
cross, taboo and triple-taboo for US
when it came to marriage. Peace on
Earth they would say; eliminate the
red-tops.' Suzanne, you for the cat and
crochet act"
81 thought there was something" said
Perky.
There is" said. Wait till l grab
a husband and get him out of the
church, and then I'll weep over the dear
old Race myself. Eugenics can't touch
me-"
The Washington herald., 1914-03-22
Copyright, lsl4.)


The fact that Barker began life as a
corner store grocery man did not detract
from his Iovableness. 1t was that charm
ing personality OF his that made his busi-
ness so great a success. In remark
ably short space of time he climbed from
the retail to the wholesale district and
later his clever business acumen placed
him among the noted importers of foreign
delicacies.
During mis- only trip TO the continent he
had discovered a little community of peo-
nile tucked away in sunny Italy. The
cranes they grew were marvellous and
without loss of time Barker had contract
cd for the entire output in the form of
raisius. He put a new brand on the
market. pushed and advertised It with a
igor the result of which made the little
hand of workers under the Italian skies.
open their eyes. incidentally it filled their
nurses with the golden Ira.
Barker noted, with commendation 10
the hackers. that in proportion to his in
creased demand for raisins, the packages
increased in daintiness and artisticity Of
labels.
Bisbee daily review. [volume] (Bisbee, Ariz.) 1901-1971, 1914-06-28

changes and conditions Of the earth's
magnetism For inspection purposes
an oil lamp is carried by the observer.
Electricity is tabooed because Of it's
magnetic effect
The other ubservatories are at Chel-
tenham Mgryland; VieQuez a small
island lying off the east end Of Porto
Rico; sitka Alaska. and Honolulu
Hawaiian islands
The compass, in general. points to a
different location for each locality.
There are comparatively few places
where the compass points true north.
The observations made at these obser-
vatories and the conclusions drawn
are of the utmost value to surveyors,
especially to those engaged i'm opera.
tions where extreme accuracy is nee.
essary Imagine the knowledge requi
site to obtain directions from a chang
ing compass and yet be able to drive
tunnel from each side of a mount
ain and have the two tubes meet ex
actly, end to end, without missing the
Joint so much as a few inches.
considerations JES iinbv
Bisbee daily review. [volume] (Bisbee, Ariz.) 1901-1971, 1914-06-28
SUPERIOR is HIGHLY
ACTIVE DEVELOPING
CAMP MUCH DOING
Present Traffic Over the Roads
Is Heavier Than in the PaImi-
est Days of Big Silver ProduC-
ton, Says Visitor in the City,

j.. G. Seoicy. owner of mining claims
in the Superior district and cnthusi-
astic as TO the future of that newest
Of prominent developing camps in the
state. is a visitor here
Mr. seeley brought with him an
amount of information about progress
i'm the Superior district and the activ-
titles of various concerns there that
tt would take many columns to retelL
Ills information s gathered from close
acquaintance with the district and cur
rent talk there
Calumet & Arizona and the Gum
Thompson interests are the largest
mining organizations at work about
Superior Beside these there are a
number O smaller concerns some of
them backed by abundant means and
mining experience
C. o. A. Is saying but little about
it's progress al Superior They are
putting a pump station on the 800
level and are going deeper with the
shaft than the Superior public gem
orally expected when the prospecting
campaign of the company was started.
From This id IS reasonably argued that
while there has not ass yet been any
Thing big found tine findings encour-
aged more extensive Research than az
first contemplated When Superior
district gets as well acquainted with
C.. q A. as is the Warren district 10
win know that the management does
things thoroughly when 10 once puts
IDS hand 10 a project and that los pros
pecting Is always honest and efficient
III the ground &c has al Superior pos.
sesaes the goods the C. q a. win find
lit out frankly Ia the meantime there
viii be no noise nor false encourage
ment
tunnIhompsou operations come un
der the same conservative careful sor
of conduct In the Superior dislric
these people have been engaged fol
n longer period than have the G & A
interests They have made prett,
Bisbee daily review. [volume] (Bisbee, Ariz.) 1901-1971, 1914-06-28
MAGNETIC STATION
AT TUCSON AWAITS
ANOTHER DIRECTOR
A. 7. Beal Has Been Transferred
and His Successor Has Not
Been Named.

TUCSON. June GA p. BeaI d.
rector Of the United States Magnetic
observatory at Tucson. has been APP
pointed to astronomical research work
at the Allegheny observatory Of the
University Of Pittsburg His successor
has not been announced Mr. Beal viii
leave about August 20.
The magnetic observatory here is
one OF five established by the United
States government their primary pur-
pose being the study Of the compass,
which is far from constant.
Arizona was chosen because OF its
geographical relation to the other OBJ
s@vatories and Tucson because &C.,
conditions are suitable for magnetic
observations. CHIEF of these is dry
ness OF atmosphere: others are aB.
sence Of iron ore al d local and uatrr-
al magnetic disturbances.
Seismosraph recoi1 Us Of earthquake
also are made at lhe observatorl
The twt buildings of the groaD 10
which the magnetic instrument are
housed are built of lumber and copper
nails The principal building consists
OF three separate structures one with-
DO another each having double walls.
This precaution is necessary 20 pre-
vent changes in temperature the
middle she'll las sawdust packing
three feet thick in the walls ami Two
feet thick in the roof Each shell has
close, couble. close fitting doors a
total n six that must be opeaci and
shut before the instruments eau o.
reached The daily range Of tempora.
aturo in ne interior rarely exceeds =
tenth eft a degree
The heat Of the body has a
marked Influence on the Instruments
which are of wonderful delicacy Two
LOT them viii measure changes of force
equal TO 100000 .000.00045 Of the
weight of a pound They make a con.
tlnuous Photographic record Of the