South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-03-27
E.
REAL AND NEAR
BY FRED c. KELLY.

iii L. . VI lAliAOlSs OAALF a NUI-
tor, now a representative, does watch
logging over the treasury. and seems
to try almost as hard 10 save govern
ment money as Dick Austin Of Ten
nessee does to spend IL. Both he and
Austin were members of a committee
from the house OF representatives that
journeyed 10 Colorado recently TO see
about the coal strike at Trinidad. Eos
ter was chairman Of the committee
and opposed any needless expense. He
would not stand for taxi-cabs when
they were going any place within
walking distance, and insisted that
private baths in a hotel are not only
expensive. but are undemocratic and
border on snobbery.
When they got TO Colorado they
met UP with a former member Of cor
gress who knew them all, and who.
just for old times sake, offered 10 give
them legal counsel.
After they had started hOmeward,
the other members Of the committee
amused themselves by arranging fake
kilograms from the eX-repre5entative
10 Foster, asking for payment of $3.50
for legal services.
Foster pounded his chest and de-
clared that he would never allow any
such payment, but the others shook
their heads gravely and said they
AEoA 00 h0 tC1Aoh L AAtAP ~"
IF ] did pay It," declared Foster,
w~rathfully, lit would be only the sec
ond time in my life | was ever stung."
And what vas the other timer"
they asked. full Of curiosity.
The time L went into a
and bought myself a caviar sand
wich." replied Foster. savasely.
Representative Edmund Plat. who
is a publisher of Pough-
keepsie, n. Y, knows more things that
are true about birds than anybody in
congress.
Whenever he a collect a little
spare time, Plat puts dull statecraft
behind him and sets forth into the
woods and fields TO listen TO the song
and twitter or the birds. Sparrow5
robbins, famingoes. storks, crows.
wrens-no matter what kind of birds
he sees, Platt knows them all by sight.
If it's sitting still he can tell il by it's
plumage, if flying. by its gait. And
If he can't see the stork or linnet or
cookatoo or whatever the bird is. he
can identify II by its song. A bird
finds it practically impossible TO fool
Plat. The biackbird that tries TO
pass itself off on Plat for a quail
would present an absurd spectacle.
Plat grew to mature manhood
without knowing any more about
birds than anybody else. and never
even raised a pair of pigeons in his
boyhood. He knew sparrows from
hummiDg birds and recognized one or
two other varieties at sight. but that
was about the total of his bird
knowledge. One day. a few years ago,
he visited the home Of John Bur-
roughs, the naturalist, who lives not
far from Poughkeepsie. Burroughs
made him a bird enthusiast and eve
since then he has been paying close
heed 70 the chirp of our little feather
ed friends.
Rarely does Plat venture out of the
house without his bird book and his
opera glasses in his pocket.
A bird may take the view of the
one in the poem and assert: NO
body knows but my mate and /. where
our nest and nestlings lie. Chez.
chez, chez"
But hat bird is wrong. For Plat
knows.
one morning recently Platt paused
in a little park on his way up to Cap
itol Hill TO FIX his opera glasses on a
bird that was going twee, twee, twee
in a mighty oak tree. Innocent
pedestrians stopped to look, wonder
ing what manner of man or beast
Platt had sighted in the tree. One
old fellow, however. was smarter than
the rest. AS ne passed he remarked
out of the corner OF his mouth TO
Plat:
i've seen you practical iokers be-
fore. You'll stare up yonder q long
time before you'll get me TO look"
William Jennings Bryan. secretary
OF state. and His Excellency j. j. JUS
serand, ambassador Of the French re-
public. have become almost chummy
since Mr.. Rryan landed his present
position. Jusserand drops in on Bry-
an with the utmost informality when
ever he feels like it, without waiting
for diplomatic day. and whenever
they meet they crack jokes with each
other.
Not long ago Jusserand made a
series OF eight or nine informal calls
on Bryan 10 talk owe a little diplo-
matte project. They agreed on what
should be done and everything was
arranged. but Jusserand could not
bring himself to depart entirely from
custom. and so came around one aft
ernoon 10 present his proposition in
formal diplomatic language. This
greatly amused Bryan.
"Tll think the matter over" said he.
but you have given me a severe
shock. why he MT you told me
about this before
Representative James Francis Burke
iOurneyed a time ago 20 the classic
little college town OF Grove City. Pa.
10 deliver an address on Money"
Shortly before the date set for
Burke's address. something had gone
awry with the reservoir system at the
town and the board OF health had
been called IN TO find the cause OF
LOO cases of sudden illness.
But Burke knew nothing about the
troubles with the water system. and
the opening remark Of the chairman
Of the reception committee was
enough 70 startle even a sterner spirit
than he.
Glad 20 see you, Mr.. Burka" said
the chairman: but our audience
won't b as large as we had expect
ed. Within "a hours after II was an
nounced that you were 10 speak here
more than a thousand OF our people
were taken sick. and most OF them are
still in bed"
Copyright. 1914. by Fred Q. Kelly.
All rights reserved