Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1914-11-27
Clinton Scotland,


Besides, am far too modest to boast
of myself.
So l had Gwendolyn read a compo-
sition on THE First Thanksgiving, in
which she told all about the hard
ships of the poor Pilgrims who came
over in the Maybell with Lord Balti.
more to Plymouth, and how they sat
down to their first Thanksgiving din
ner of hominy and Goldfish balls, and
gave thanks because they hadn't been
scalped or burned as witches.
Then Wood had her bind every state
in the Union and tell what time it is
in the Scandalous peninsula when it
is six o'clock here. Then she showed
all of her beautiful sketches and
played several duets on the piano. She
is Mr. Boguslatchkey's favorite pupil,
and he often tells me that she will be
a perfect tyro when she grows up.
Just then, the "tocsin of the soul, the
dinner bell" rang and we had to
evade the rest of the program. l was
glad too, because the Bolivards looked
awfully bored when Woods sister
asked Harold to recite-my, my, how
she does love to show him off,
We had lovely meal Nora GER
tainly is a fine cook even if she is
Irish I had her mix the mincemeat
with strong tea and cane pepper in
stead of wicked things like cider and
brandy, and the pies were delicious
Everything was. Nora hasn't quit
talking about her fine cooking that
day yet. That's one trouble with the
Irish, they are SO boastfull I firmly
believe it is the reason that julius
Caesar, when he conquered Ireland,
christened it "Erin-go-Brag," don't
you?
Beg pardon? Well. the dinner had
passed off beautifully. Wood had kept
the table in a roar-you know what a
delightful bon mot he Island had
carved the turkey just like a surgeon.
But first l must tell you about Harold.
The little wretch instead of peeling
his banana into strips and laying them
carefully on the table like Gwendolyn,
turned his skin back and, after eating
the fruit out of it in two bites, threw
1t under the table. He said afterwards
it slipped off his plate At any rate it
fell right at Woods feet.
Poor Wood He had on some new
shoes without any heels-he didn't
want to buy them in the first place,
but l begged him to, because I love
him to be the observed of all observ-
ers and have moldy form, as my be-
loved Shakespeare would say-and he
wasn't used to them, so that when he
got up to leave the table he slipped
on the peel.
Ours is an extension table with ball
gearing rollers, and when he grasped
the edge of it to save himself from
falling, alas, alas, it parted in the
middle and all the combustibles of the
dinner were participated onto the
floor and Wood fell backwards on TOP
of his chair with the most violent en-
phasis.
Poor boyl He had been telling q
baseball story and had been using such
shocking paraphrases as damned the
cushion" "swatted the sphere" "clat
tered across the pan" and "dented the
platter" Don't you think it was a
dreadful coincidence that just as he
said platter" down went the turkey?
Oh, dearl I just can't help but feel
.somewsy that perhaps the whole thing
was a nemesis on him for using such
dreadful, undefiled slang.
Well, he paid dearly for it, poor
fellow I'm afraid it will be weeks
before his solar system will be entire
ly renovated. When we disinterred
him that day we found that his paral-
lax was dreadfully bruised, and that
he had a severe attack of nostalgia
I declare I thought his dear nose
would never, never stop bleedingl
Yes, we all partook of some injury
Mrs. Bolivard hasn't spoken to me
since because her new scrape-de-shin
skirt was ruined; that is, all but Har-
old and his mother. 1t seems like the
very ironing of fate that they were
the only ones present who escaped