The Washington herald., 1914-04-26
P, D. O. INTERVIEWS
A Little Talk With the Eminent Joe Cannon

Yes, and to pay for painting his house
and barn besides. There was a mis-,
sionary here for the African heather the
| other day. and when I had get through
shedding tears over his pathetic tale
| offered him a s. bill
Good man.
| But did he hear il away TO comfort
the heather? Not that eve! He waved IL
aside and asked for the cards. and he
won four jackpots in succession and car
ried off 30 of my dollars
Mr.. Cannon" said the interviewer. ''it
is plain enough to a blind man that you
| have been wronged by public opinion in
| regard to this poker matter. and now how
| about camD-meetings?"
| And what about them?'
1T is said that there used to be a
hundred camp-meetings held in your
State every year. and now there are not
half dozen. They say you have dis
Outraged them"
What a lie! What treason exclaimed
the innocent man. why last year l at
tended some fifteen of them in person.
But you took no active part in them -
Il didn't Ell? Then tell me who paid
for the thirty barrels OF hard cider
that was drank? Lord man, that cider
had a twang to il that kept everybody
shouting all day and all night. Discourage
| camp-meetinSs. Why. but for them l
| should never have got to the gilded halls
of Congress in the first place"
You must be set right about this thing.
Mr.. Cannon, and l will see that it is
done. Up in Vermont. where most of the
| sugar trees are owned by men that fear
God and mix one-half sorghum with their
maple sugar. they are very much ex-
orcised about your alleged conduct"
Yes, tell them how / stand. I'll make
it hundred barrels this summer
And nov, Mr.. Cannon, we are to SUD-
pose a case"
Are we to suppose that I am on my
bridal tour" he laughed
Hardly that. Suppose you are driy-
ing across the country with a horse and
Luggy."
That's easy"
You come along to the outskirts of
n village"
Il sure do"
There is to be a circus there that
day"
And I'll have a front seatw
THE procession is coming in. You
can hear the band playing"
oh. the girl left behind me-
Just ahead of you a girl has come
out of house. She's a handsome
lassie. about eighteen years old"
L think see her" replied Mr. Cam
non as he closed one eve.
She wants to see that circus come
in. You can't blame her, for We all
do"
"Darned IL we don't"
without looking around her at all,
but with her mind intent on the ele-
plants and spotted ponies. She"
go on
she begins to climb a telephone pole
for a lookout"
TT can't be-
But she does. She's totally oblivi-
Gus OF your presence, you know"
Il see"
while you have been sitting there
in your buggy with your mouth open
she has climbed a distance of fifteen
feet"
Gosh"
TT is fifteen feet further up to the
cross-bar. She means to take a seat
on that"
'U-m-m!"
And now. Mr.. Cannon. are YOU going
10 continue to sit there while that inno-
cent and maybe broken-hearted girl shins
up the remainder of the distance
But she ought to have looked around
before she began climbing" ne protested.
But she didn't. She is a confiding
girl"
But her mother ought to call her
down.
But her mother is sick in bed and
ex.,ecting TO die any minute"
"But-but-''
Joseph Cannon, are YOU that kind of
A man." was sternly asked.
Hold on he replied. I'm turning the
horse around
Go on
Now I'm putting on the gad''
Good
NOw I'm half mile away and going
H. the devil
And you haven't looked back"
darned look
And you won't stop at the next farm
house and ask who the girl is
Not a stop
Fine! Fine! Joseph Cannon, YOU arc
hereby nominated for the next Prcsi-
dency,"