Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1914-04-17
ON PLEASURE Bent
Mr.. and Mrs. Simmp Had Most
Pleasant Afternoon, If Mrs.
Sin1mp Tells It.


Simmp. tugging at his lapels. what
do you want to do this afternoon"
1t was beautiful Sunday and Mr..
simmp glanced out over the green
lawn retiectively.
why. sleep. m'dear." replied Mr..
Simmp. His shrill voice was incongru-
GUS In man as huge as he and some
times 1t irritated Mrs. Simmp.
sleep! eat! eat! sleep! What 10
life to you?"
Troublesome, m'dear," regretted
Mr.. Simmp. He and she ad been mar
ried rs years ago. but she was sull
"m'dear" to him.
How would 1t do to take long trip
down the island in the carr" suggest.
ed Mrs. Simmp, dimpling coyly.
Yes. m'dear." said Mr.. Simmp.
So they ordered the car and tum-
bled into it. Mr.. Simmp joined her
in the tonneau.
Just US two, Alfred" protested
Mrs. Simmp. The chauffeur was dis
missed. Mr.. Simmp clambered into
the drivers seat, pressed the start
ing button and whirled away. He
lighted pipe.
Put that out. Alfred" che com
manded.
He didn't hear her.
Soon they were racing along the
beach outside the city limits.
Il say, Alfred, put out that pipe"
she repeated. 1T gets into my eyes"
Mr.. Simmp heard her and brought
the car to a standstill.
Come, sit in the front seat" he re-
quested.
NO." she demurred. Some one
might see me-"
What of it?' he shrieked.
Only servant girls ride in the front
seat" she explained. Il have q po.
sition to maintain, remember"
They might think was the chauf.
feur." reflected Mr.. Simmp, bitterly.
Then, let me smoke, m'dear; you
won't permit it in the house and this
is one of my rare chances to enjoy
pipe"
III sutfocate." she predicted.
He put it out. Let's turn back.
m'dear." s
20, no, Alfred; let's get out in the
open. far from the madding crowd.
where the sunshine shines happily on
the breast Of the dancing gulf and tho
zephyrs-" 1a
Mr.. simmp grunted. He started the
car. He did his part. but the car didn't
start. 1..
I'VE have q panne. m'dear." OBJ
served Mr.. Simmp. ~
In the Kitchen" replied Mrs.
Simmp. absently, and then she grew
angry. What are you talking about!"
'"The car won't co." explained Mr..
simmp.
"Why?" she asked.
He explained to her 1t great length.
She knew he would mess things up.
What was he going to do about II!
He climbed out. crawled under.
bent over. peered, glared. swallowed
strange sounds and discovered tho
trouble.
1--WE have no gasoline" he ID
mented.
What of IT." asked Mrs. simmp.
Mr.. Simmp walked away and whis-
pered 1t to his coat sleeve.
He returned. Wen have to walk"
Il won't" she declared iatly.
You're a brute, and ! knew 1t vhel
I married you, but l thought (like .
fool) that l could tame you"
But she got out and together they
plunged through the sand toward Gal
weston and home, miles away. Mrs.
Simmp has No. pedal extremities
and wore No. 3 shoes with high heels.
Mr.. Simmp has big feet and wears big
shoes and makes no bones about it.
After 20 minutes Mrs. Simmp forgot
her anger and began to enjoy the ex.
ercise.
When they got home Mrs. Simmp
executed a pas seul. 20, I'm 50 glad
you enjoyed your outing. Aren't you
glad you didn't stay at home and sleep.
poor dear?'
With palpitating govt In one foot
end excruciating corns on the other.
poor dear" eyed her hshily.
see II you can get the doctor on
the phone. This fool exchange girl
says she can't understand me."-Gal-
weston News.
r.sl IL WARMING, nl.