The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14

II don't believe you've got rheuma-
/. ttsm!" she bluntly exclaimed. you've
| simply met somebody who has put a
new fad into your head and probably
sold you a gallon Of nauseous dope for
, SO or $12. It's wonder to me you
| don't kill yourself"
| Let me ask. woman. IL you are ad-
dressing yourself to me?" queried Mr..
Bowser, as he drew himself up with
, the dignity Of a governor"
! "Of course am"
/ Then l will remind you that 1 am
your husband and the boss Of this
house. When say that have rheu-
matism-that I suffer excruciating
torture-that 1 have remedy. it is
not for you to call me a liar!"
But you are SO full OF. fads." she
, protested.
/ Never had a fad in my life. On
the contrary, have always kept clear
of them. Perhaps you are hoping that
and leave you a widow?"
"WeIl, what is the cure?"
"Ah! That is more sensible. It's
a. simple as A. B. C. It's to exercise
an hour every evening""
"How exercise %
| ION roller skates, up in the garret.
brought pair home with me this
evening"
B owser. as she glanced at his bulk.
'The same, madam, and should my
, glide be displeasing to your royal
| highness you are at liberty to leave
skating to get up a willowy motion.
| but as a cure for rheumatism. Have
you any further impudence to offer ?"
| 1t was useless for her to say an
other word, and she maintained a dis
! Greet silence, while Mr.. Bowser got
! his skates from the front hall and
, climbed to the garret. He had never
had a pair of skates OF any sort on his
| feet, but his self-conddence was won
derful He hadn't the slightest doubt
| in the world that he could put n
those rollers and cut all sorts of pig
eon-wings and Greek crosses right on
the reel.
singular how the woman opposes
mel he unused as he made ready.
IF 1 was dying for the want of wa
ter she'd call it a fad. Let's see how
this thing goes. 1 must first stand up
sort O. carelessly on both feet. Then
shoot out the right foot-then the
left, and away I go. 1t won't take me
over two minutes to get the hang of
it."
Mr. Bowser started to get out Of his
chair, but something happened to his
legs which warned him that it was
| safer to creep over to the nearest post
and pull himself upright. He felt a
weakness and a wObble in his knees
after he was on his feet. and he was
a long time casting loose from the
post A big doubt had begun to
creep into his mind. when he sudden
ly fought it back and made q fresh
start. His right foot moved without
the slightest trouble. It seemed to
him that it moved five yards before
the left one started to follow. Then
| he felt the house fall down on him
and partly lost consciousness.
i. He was trying to make out whether
he was down cellar, upstairs. or on
some vacant lot when he heard Mrs.
Bowser's voice asking:
Does that go in free gratis with
the remedy?"
Mr.. Bowser had sat down. One Of
his feet was way or to the right
the other way or to the left, while all
of his teeth seemed to be loose and
his heart in his mouth. He looked
at Mrs. BOwser in q stupid, puzzled
way, and just as he had made up his
mind that he had seen her somewhere
before she disappeared. 1t took him
another five minutes to rally. Some
men would have kicked of the skates
and defied the rheumatism to do it's
worst, but Mr.. Bowser was game. He
| hadn't given up the bike until he ha
gashed his scalp, broken three ribs
and lost three front teeth, and MOTH
ing had happened yet to discourage
his skating
as he crawled to the post again. II
made too long a stroke with my right
foot. I'll try sort of gentle glide tc
| start with this time until get the
hang of the thing"
| He didn't wait for any doubts this
time. The fact was. he couldn't For
some reason or other his feet began
to move away with him. and he in
| stantly decided that It would be q
good plan to have his body follow
after. Unknown to him. Mrs Bowser
was looking through the door. and for
q minute her heart stopped beating.
Mr.. Bowser went backward a few feet
and then took up gymnastics. He
clawed the air with both hands.
jumped clear of the floor. and made
the most tremendous efforts to catch
up with his feet. When he found he
| couldn't do it he began yelling "po-
lice!'' but at the third yell his feet
shot up and his head shot down and
he landed on the back Of his head.
] After . few minutes the rest Of his