Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-02-23

dozen entirely natural adulteries and
desertions. which a man had some
times to repair by marriage of else
allow himself to be regarded as
seducer and a scoundrel.
/ do not think my husband was
conscious of the naive coarsenesS of
all this, as spoken to a young girl
who had only just become his wife.
l am sure he was not aware that he
was betraying himself to me in every
word he uttered and making the re-
pugnance l had begun to feel for him
deepen into horrO.
My palms became moist, and again
and again | had to dry them with
my handkerchief. / was feeling more
frightened and more ashamed than
l had ever felt before, but neverthe
less when We sat down to dinner |
tried to compose myself. Partly for
the sake of appearance before the
servants. and partly because l was
taking myself to task for the re-
pugnance | felt toward my husband,
l found something to say, though my
voice shook.
My husband ate ravenously and
drank a good deal once or twice
when he insisted on pouring out
champagne for me, l clinked glasses
with him. Although every moment at
table was increasing my fear and
disgust L sometimes allowed myself
to laugh.
Encouraged by this he renewed his
endearments even before the walters
had left the room, and when they had
gone, with orders not to return until
he rang, and the door was closed be-
hind them, he switched off the lights
pushed a sofa in front of the fire.
put me to sit on it, sat down beside
me and redoubled his tenderness.
"How's my demure little nun now %
he said. frightened, wasn't she E?
wasn't she? They're all frightened at
first, bless them!"
been drinking. l could see by the
freight the prominent front tooth
tpartly hidden by his mustaChe)
which l had noticed when l saw him
first, and the down of soft hair which
grew as low on his hands as his
knuckles Above all thought l could
feel the atmosphere of other women
about him-loose women, bad women
as ii seemed to me-and my fear
and disgust began to be mixed with
a kind of physical horror.
Broke From His Arms.
For little while I tried to fight
against this feeling, but when he be-
gan to put his arms about me. calling
me by endearing names. complaining
of my GOODNESS, telling me that | be
lonSed to him now and must do as
he wished, faintness came over me.
l trembled from head to foot and
made some effort to rise
Let me CO. ! said
Nonsense" he said, laughing and
| holding me to my seat. You be-
witching little woman! You're only
teasing me. How they love to tease,
| these charming little women"
The pupils of his eyes were glis-
| tening. | closed my eyes in order
to avoid his look. At the next mo-
ment l felt his hand stray down my
body and in a fury of indignation /
broke out of his arms and leapt to
my feet.
When I recovered my self possess
sion l was again looking out of the
window, and my husband, who was
behind me, was saying in a tone of
anger and annoyance:
What's the matter with you?
can't understand What have l done ?
Good heavens, we are man and wife
aren't we?"
made no answer. My heart, which
had been hot with rage, was beco1-
ing cold with dread. It seemed to
me that I had suffered an outrage
on my natural modesty as a human
being, a sort OF offense against my
dignity as a woman.
1t was now dark. With my face
to the window ! could see nothing
The rain was beating against the
glass. The sea was booming on the
rocks l wanted to fly, but / felt
| caged-morally and physically Gagged
My husband had lit cigarette and
was walking up and down the sit
ting room, apparently trying to
think things out. After a while he
approached me, put his hand on my
shoulder and said:
81 see how it is. You're tired, and
no wonder. You've had a long and
exhausting day. Better go to bed
Well have to be up early"
Glad to escape from his presence
I allowed him to lead me to the
large bedroom. AS l was crossing
the threshold he told me to undress
and get into bed, and after that he
said something about waiting. Then
| he closed the door softly and l was
alone
nI,.,-&- nsxx4I, rI,1.ka.