The Washington herald., 1914-07-05

IN the morning.
'Hello! She felt that he must hear
her heart beat over the wire. Hello =
He always made her repeat it. 1t was
as though he was trying opt her voice.
to discover at once any quiver or weak
ness that he could resent. "HelloI" She
said it as firmly, as strongly, as she
could.
"And how have you been" There
was still that tentative note--he was
keeping his voice carefully noncommit-
tai. If she answered as he wished, he
might condescend to kindness, but if she
faltered into tears-oh, how quickly he
would grow cold and harsh.
II think l am better" All, that
was a mistake. She knew it as soon as
she spoke. To say she thought she was
better implied that she had been i'll, and
any reference to that always irritated
him.
"Better." eurtly. "Why, what's the
matter?" The same harsh phrase and
tone that she knew so WE'LL 1t always
sent the blood to her face, but she an
swered meekly:
"Oh, IL just meant I'm not getting
strong very fast"
why aren't you? Are you trying
to?" sternly.
"Oh, yes, yes"
Are you eating and sleeping well,
and taking plenty of exercise?"
I'm doing the very best can" That
answer always rather disconnected him.
There was nothing much he could say
after that, except to demand a repeated
assurance, and he did that now.
you are sure of that? You are quite
certain you are doing the best you CAM"
He was rather groping for words now;
his voice had weakened, but it grew
sharp again as a new thought came.
you are sure you are not giving way
indulging in any morbid broodings?"
"Oh. no, no. l am trying so hard to
get strong" He was carrying it little
too far, making it little too hard. In
spite of her efforts, there were tears in
her voice now.
We'll, get that hysteria out of your
voice, if you want me to talk to you"
She did not answer that She couldn't.
Perhaps he felt that was enough, or
perhaps it was only because he could
think of nothing more in the way of
censure, for after a short silence he
said reluctantly:
I'll try to get up to see you about J."
"Oh, III be so glad to see you" Be
fore she said it she knew she would
loathe herself for saying it, and vet the
words came. They always did.
"And I'll be glad to see you, too"
But, oh, the way he said 1.-THE half
tolerant. reluctant. condescending way
After all that lashing to throw her that
little crumb at the end!
When she hung up the receiver, she
threw herself down on the bed, her face
burning hot against the pillow. And she
knew that the scorching shame and hu-
initiation and bitterness she felt now
were having upon her whole nature a
debasing effect-it was a sort of mental
prostitution. All. could he not see that
If there was anything bad within her he |
would bring it out in this way? She
had never believed there was any trait |
OF viciousress in her nature and yet she |
felt that if this kept on she would be-
come vicious woman She knew there |
was much of good within her-why did
he not want to bring that out?
Again and again over the telephone he
had put her through this same lashing
process. She remembered once when
she was very i'll, so i'll that the nurse
forbade her to answer the telephone
and yet she did-he had talked to her
even more harshly than he had talked |
to her just now. Even though he knew
how sick she was-she had told him she
was too faint and dizzy to stand at the
'phone-he had taunted her for the
weakness of her voice, said he would
not talk to her unless she could control
1t. And she had stood there, clinging
to the telephone, until she did control
il, until she said what he wanted her to
say in the way he wanted her to say it
He had conquered completely. He had
kept her standing there until he forced
her to say in a perfectly calm, quiet
voice that she was better and that she
expected to be much better tomorrow.
And then in a tone of great satisfaction
he had said:
"Ah, that's more like it. That's what
want to hear. That's the way to talk.
Now good night, and I'll call you up in
the morning"
Yes, he had conquered. But at what
cost? After hanging up the receiver,
she had fallen to the floor. The nurse
had carried her back to bed, and all
through that night she had sobbed wild
ly, Historically. It was not temper:
that was what he would have called Il,
but it was not that. It was fear, abject
terror Her haooinrsR her vsr,, i;fa |