The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1914-10-21
PECULIAR CLIENTS
Cranks With Whom Lawyers
/ Sometimes Have to Deal.
QUEER CASES OUT OF COURT.
Clients Are Quite Common,
and Their Claims Are Just About as
Visionary as Those Of Numerous
Patent Seekers Are Freskish.

has ever been brought to you by a
prospective client?" was the question
put not long ago by the writer to one
of the ablest lawyers in New York.
The lawyer said that probably the
oldest client who had ever visited him
was woman about forty years old
who wanted to bring suit against one
of the Sunday newspapers for not hav-
ing printed IN account of her latest
social function" OH its society page.
the telephone.
AS the second oldest client. he cited
the case of another woman who had
come TO him in tears and sought to en-
list his legal aid in making her hus-
band stop flirting. The woman as
sured me that she loved her husband
and that she knew her husband loved
her, but that he had a habit of wink
ing at every good looking woman he
saw said the lawyer. when | told
her there was no legal redress for her,
inasmuch as she said was a fool il |
even thought she or her husband want
ed divorce. she exclaimed that was
the poorest lawyer she had ever heard
of and left my Office in rage
The same question was put to sever
al other lawyers and an unbelievably
peculiar assortment Of would be clients
was revealed through their answers.
One patent lawyer cited the case OF
a man vino askrd min to represent him
for two months at the patent office in
Washington. Il want you to go there.
stay there and represent me-" he said.
But" interposed the attorney. what
in the world do you want me to do
while am there?''
The man drew his chair close to the
lawyers and in low tones told the at
tOrney that he had invented an aero
plane clock" as he called it. and that
he wanted him to go to the patent Of
fee and prevent any other inventor
from sneaking in similar Invention
while the authorities are in Il careless
mood"
The man seemed, to be i'm his normal
senses despite the fact that his highly
priced invention was absolutely moth
ing more than sinai! watch fastened
in a leather case. the sort that may be
seen in stores anywhere. When he
had impaired this information the law
yer pointed out that there was moth
ing patentable about his invention"
There isn't. eh:' shouted the man. |
Indeed there is. Who has ever
thought before this OF putting clock |
I'm an airship?'
The attorney sought to humOr him |
and said. Wouldn't n watch in the |
aviatOr's pocket do as well?"
The man jumped up. That's just |
the point he cried. 1T would not do |
as well. because it might fall OUT
Against such logic the attorney said
he found himself helpless. and he told
the man lie feared the case was too
difficult for him to handle.
Another strange client who visited n
patent lawyer wanted to secure Il pat
ent on flower clothespin." The lat,
ter was an ordinary wooden clothespm
with little wire point on top. On the
latter fresh flowers might be stuck.
thereby. according to the inventor
giving the clotheslines the appearance
Of flower gardens" lie saw fortune
from the sale of his pins In cities.
When the lawyer assured him that.
besides the fact that there was more
sentmentality than practicablity to
his invention. n pin stuck in the end
Df the wood would serve just as cffec-
lively as the Invented" piece of wire.
The client threatened to bring suit
against him for violation of conf
ien,e..'
Another patent lawyer said that the
,ddest client who had ever come to
him was young woman who wanted
his help in getting a patent literally.
IN an idea"
what Is your idea?" asked the law.
yer curiously.
The young woman refused to tell
him. saying that she hesltatcd To di-
'ulse the nature Of her idea until 1t
,ad been secured by patent. al won't
rust anybody with It. hot even YOU
The told the lawyer.
Like the famous Anneke Jams heirs
here are numerous strange eases OF
70 called ancestor clients" to be had
rom the lawyers.
One of the oldest Of these IL cited
~ n New York lawyer Of wide prac-
ice. Not long ago" he says. there
anne Ia my office woman who insist
d that she owned the lower part OF
he Hudson river having inherited Il
rom Henry Hudson. her ancestor by
tight of discovery
III this seems an exaggerated ease
shall cite second one that Is stran-
er still. Last winter a man. who said
e had been recommended to me by n
spirit ut seance he had attended
everal nights previous. wanted me 10
rove his title TO the land upon which
he subtreasury building stands. He ,
old me that II had been given to an
ncestor Of his by George Washington ,
Mt Of gratitude for the formers loan \
Z coat during one Of. the campaigns
Z the Revolutionary war. Curious