The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-11-26

COMBAT, ne
has few equals and no superors.
And ere MIR. Dorsey, too weak even
to wag threatening finger. and Mr..
Cassidy, too tired to call Mr.. Dorsey
the names that were congesting in his
being, retired to their respective
abodes to think up things to say TO
one another on the morrow, old Mrs.
Honoria Slattery. who lived farther up
on the rocks, already was removing
the last pin feather from the turke:
with a piece Of fiartng wrapping p
per.
( ono year later. to day. Mr.. Dor.
sey. glowering at Mr.. Cassidy. and Mr..
Cassidy. glowering at Mr.. Dorsey. be-
took themselves down to the express
Office, each to get the Grated turkey
that his son had sent him for his
Thanksgiving dinner.
Side by side. in armed neutrality.
they waited for the age"' TO finish
discoursing TO the pretLy 'perator
upon the benefits of love to the work
ing man and how the stimulus Of hav.
Ing good woman to work for brings
out all there Is best in the male be-
ing.
Mr.. Dorsey and Mr.. Cassidy waxea
impatient.
They had come for turkeys, not for
dissertations; and this one was parttc'
ularly annoying b ause they had both
been married. ......
At length, When the agent had
wrought himself into a verbal frenzy
in an attempt to clinch the point that
two can live us cheaply as one. Mr..
Dorsey interrupted.
Two can live as chape as wan II
they'll live on half as much" he burst
/ forth. IAN now gi'me me turkey"
The agent turned in cold hanteur.
"They's one out on the platform In
crate" he returned, frigidy. The
names rubbed of, so don't know
who it belongs to-"
Its nine" said AIR. Dorsey.
"Ye're liar said Mr.. Cassidy.
"'Twas on'y Yesterday me son Moike
writ ME tellln' me he'd stint me wan"
howled Mr. Cassidy. "oi hov tn let
ther!"
"oh, no, you how, how yot!" yelled
Mr.. Dorsey. We'll, ycz couldn't read
1t, anyhow, SO phwat's tn difference
Mr.. Cassidy throbbed. with anger.
"Oi'll Earn ye phwat tn difference
Isl" he howled He took off his coat,
cast it to the floor and, STOPPING
rubbed the palms of his hands in the
dirt. Dorsey the joy OF battle in his
little eyes. was not a whit behind.
And then there entered Lieutenant
Dalrymple of the Salvation army. He
was a little man, with pimply face
and chest like a washboard. But he
valtantly pushed in where would have
feared to tread the most fatuous and
blindest angel that ever few.
Hold" he cried, extending spin
ding arms.
Mr.. Dorsey eyed him truculently.
"GowanH he yelled, threateningly
"Phwat's TIL matther wild ye? D. We
wan ter git kilt? Git out o. me wa.ay!
and he rushed at Mr.. Cassidy.
Lieutenant Dalrymple, the peace
/ maker, with extended hands, stepped
between. One befngered fist caught
! Mr.. Dorsey ii the eye, while the Other
enr1eshed itself in Mr.. Cassidy's Glen
garrys,
| It was we'll for Lieutenant Dalrym
Pile that he was good runner The
half mile to ,headquarters he covered
In two minutes fat, and he spent the
rest OF the morning in a saratogs
trunk in the garrett, while the rest Of
the army endeavored to eject from the
building the raging Mr.. Dorsey anc
the trumpeting Mr.. Cassidy
it was an election long and hard
fought. But It was an election.
Sitting side by side in the street. Mr.
Dorsey timorously wiggled back and
forth loose tooth. while Mr.. Casstd,
tenderly caressed a fast blackenina
eye.
"Matchew," said Mr, Cassidy al
length.
Mr.. Dorsey removed his fingers from
his mouth.
"Phwat is utY" he queried.