The Washington herald., 1914-03-11
Statesmen, Real and Near.
BIZ FRED c. KELLY.

meeting Of the House Committee on
Pensions Is usually a good deal like a
gathering at q home where there is an
irrepressible boy who persists in romp-
Ing about and mussing up the guests.
The irrepressibie boy Of the Pensions
COMMITTEES h Mr.. Alfalfa BilP' Murray.
of Oklahoma. He reserves the right to
leap into the discussion and talk when
ever he sees ft. without notice.
Other members OF the committee do
not know quite what to make OF Murray.
Though he Is a wealthy ranchman. he
persists in wearing clothes that look as IL
they cost total of about s7-and he
cares little or nothing about ccmbing
his hair. Yet, for all his bizarre ap-
pearance. he springs many a sensible
suggestion. When the committee is in
session. and is gathered with quiet dig
nifty about the table, Murray keeps walk
ing about the room. talking when he
feels like II and interrupting others when
occasion seems to warrant.
IL Is just like working with a big, play
full ST. Bernard dog in the room. Murray
looks SO good-natured and awkward that
the others can't get mad at him, and
yet there are times when they feel as IL
1t might be best to give him a little dose
OF poison.
The other day Representative Greene.
of Vermont. was making an argument
for a proposition. He went over all the
arguments and then began to reiterate,
like a barber going over a mans face
the second time and catching points he
has missed.
Suddenly ''Bilr' Murray walked over to
Greene. and slapped him on the back.
sit down." cried Murray, with a
laugh: We're all for your proposition.
but IL you keep on talking We might
change our minds
Greene is a man of some little Eastern
dignity. but he couldn't take offense, for
1t was just Murrsy's way.
As a matter of fact, Murray's rough
clothes and hair. that give him the ap-
pearance Of an old, trsmped-down door
mat, are just a pose. He thinks it Is a
great joke 10 look as II he hadn't any
sense at all. and then try to surprise
everybody with the soundness Of what he
has to say.
Representative Ben johnson. Of Ken
tucky, journeyed to a little town in that
State on business one day, and arrived
at his destination about nightfall.
When he got of at the station he was
greatly yexed to find that there was no
hack to carry him out OF the muddy sur
roundings. As he was picking his way
across the road in search Of a sidewalk.
a group OF men and women came up To
him and one Of them started TO take his
grip.
who are you folks?" asked johnson.
We're the reception committee"
THE what
Aren't you the Rev. So-and-so7 Were
looking for our new minister. Aren't YOU
hep"
Huh" grInted Johnson. "If am
your new preacher. this is hell Of way
to receive me.
Victor Murdoch two or three years ago
became a diet crank and got rid of more
than fifty pounds OF needless weight. He
not only ate half portion meals himself,
but urged his colleagues to do so. and
really made himself a good deal of a
with his constant talk about
the perils of much eating
A little while ago. Victor went out to
Kansas to campaign for the SenatOrship.
When he returned here 10. he looked
as IL he had gained twenty pounds and
had a fine. big. comfortable-lookingg girth
once again.
"Ah ha:' taunted one person after an
other. What's become of all your high
principles of diet?'
Il found out SAYS Victor, that in a
campaign you've simply got to eat II
YOU don't eat heartily. you'll not on;y
make the host and hostess and the cook
mad. but you'll give everybody the i'm
preston that you're not human"
When Representative NOllmer. of Iowa.
arrived here the other day TO become a
member OF Congress-. he busted himself
during the first day or two trying to OBJ
tain a satisfactory office.
An addition has just been completed to
the House Office building and this has
led to a great deal of changing and SHIFT
ing about of offices. The older members
have first choice in filing on office rooms.
and as rapidly as Nollmer selected
room somebody else swOoped down and
took it away from him. After this had
about eleven times, Vollmer OBJ
served disgustedly:
There's just one thing this reminds
me of. It's for all the world like trying
Io get settled in hotel room when
there's a Knights OF Pythias convention
In town.
lCop,riEht. 1914. by Fred g Kelly. All rights re-