South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-23
STATESMEN
REAL AND NEAR
BY FRED c. KELLY.
ny FIRED @ KELLY.

By FRED c. KELLY.
WASHINGTON.-When Rep. Wal
ter NJ. Chandler. OF New York. was
travelling over Europe as a young man
seeking education and adventure. he
dropped in one day TO look at the cata-
combs Of Rome.
Now the catacombs do not comprise
a sprightly place. even under the most
favorable circumstances, and between
the dim light and the droning voice OF
his guide, who pointed out the final
resting places Of people once promi-
nent in Roman society, Chandler soon
saw all Of the place that he cared for.
Just when the place was getting thor
oughly on his nerves, Chandler came
face TO face with what seemed 10 be
the reincarnation Of a college profess
sOr he had known at the university
of Texas. Chandler was not expect
ing to see anybody from so far away
in the Roman catacombs, and neither
was the professor. Each, therefore.
leaped 10 the same conclusion, TO wit:
That he was looking into the face of
somebody who had just risen from
the dead. The flickering lamps borne
by the guidese gave a deathlike pallor
10 the faces that helped to confirm the
notion.
So Chandler and the Texas profess
z
ed.
Senior Don Eduardo -Mujica.
minister from Chile to the United
States, and one OF the mediators OF
the Mexican trouble. has a quiet sense
of humor. He derives a great deal of
amusement out Of the ignorance of
supposedly intelligent persons in the
I United States in regard TO Chile and
other Latin-American countries.
Not long ago a certain United States
senator met Senior Suarez at a social
gathering and by way OF small talk
asked him:
Are there many white people living
\ down in Chile?"
do you ask" came back the
/ Chilean, because they are scarce in
your state?"
senator in establishment. Il come from
a northern state and our people are
/ practically all white.
It's the same way with US"
! smiled the minister, "Our people are
nearly all white"
But" persisted the senator, IT
/ thought that in South America there
were a great many colored people"
There are a good many in some
parts just as there are good many
\ in some parts of this country" replied
/ Senior Suarez. Yet you still regard
/ North Americans as a white race do
/ you not?"
The senator shifted the talk to the
weather and walked away perpleXedly
/ scratching his thigh.
Senior Suarez- Mujica is noted in
/ Washington for the possession of the
most elaborate set of whiskers in dip
/ lomatio circles. They are dark, fam
\ shaped whiskers that trail over his
chest somewhat like the half-spread
/ feathers of a peacock over the ground.
! An almost identically similar whiska
/ torial outfit belonged to a former
Greek minister and this caused the
| two diplomats TO look SO much alike
that they were frequently confused.
! But Senior Suarez-Mujica now has the
/ field all to himself.
When Miss Jessie Wilson was about
/ to become the first White House bride
under the present administration
! James MARITIME, being the senior SEN
ator from New Jersey. circulated ur-
/ banely among his senatorial associates
/ TO raise a fund for a nice little gift
/ from the senate TO the bride. The
| gift was bought and that was the end
/ of the incident. Time went on and
! Miss Eleanor Wilson became the sec
/ ond White House bride OF the admin
/ istration. Once again Sen. MARITIME
went among his associates TO gather
little money for a suitable bridal
present.
Hasn't been long since you were
/ around on a similar mission" laughed
! one senator, as he gladly contributed.
! "Yes." admitted MARITIME. I'm get
/ ting ST 1 feel like deacon"
/ A group Of men were talking about
+ funny sights they had seen and then
+ the topic shifted TO funny possibilities
-, Ean rklea
4 funniest sight one could imagine
Whereupon Morton Milford. of the
/ Indianapolis News. spoke up and said
he couldn't think OF anything that
would look quite so funny as the huge
/ Ollie James standing in the aisle or
street car. trying to force a vast thumb
and forefinger into a small coin purse
after a 10-cent piece.
/ one of Rep Halvor Steenerson's
I constituents wrote in from Minnesota
/ the other day TO be set straight on an
+ important matter that he did not quite
understand.
1--WE been reading about this wom
ans suffrage for two or three years
now" his letter said. land the trouble
seems TO be growing so that I've got
to wondering what IL Is that they re
/ suffering from. Are they suffering
+ from some new kind of contagious
( disease, or what is it,
Patten. the Chicago man who un-
I dertook TO corner wheat few years
ago. was in Washington recently. He
I appears to wear machine-made clothes
and handmade shoes and does not
I look the part Of a wheat king. One
would take him more readily for
feed store proprietor in a small town.
I Downright. 1914, by Fred c. Kelly.
All rights reserved.)
Twenty Years A On