The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1914-06-12
Flag Waivers RacOntuers = and
Tyro Linguists Make Pas
sengers Unhappy
.STICK TO ENGLISH" Is
BEST POLICY ABROAD
Superficial Acquaintance With
Phrase Book Small Aid
to Travellers


three pests that one can almost al
ways find aboard an ocean liner; OF
course, there are various varieties Of
this species OF human bores, but
three stand head and shoulders above
any OF them One is the man VINO
unanimously elects himself the life
OF the party He voluntarily assumes
sthe responsibility of getting up
dances, concerts and other entertain
ments, and shouts and laughs and
roars TO show what an excellent dis
position he has. T..
When the boat calls at port and
the passengers go ashore he Is the
man who sits on the seat with the cab
driver and waves an American flag
in the faces of the courteous natives
He Is the man who has horde or
beggar children following him on the
promise of giving them few pen
MES And he is that excruCiatingly
funny person who goes into a shop,
prices everything in sight, has the
proprietor running around in par
oxysm OF excitement, and then buys
penny postcard, laughing uproar-
iously at his own subtle Wit.
Another common pest is the man
who has crossed the ocean once or
twice before and insists on telling
you all about everything He is the
obnoxious person who sits in the
ships smoking-room at night ana
talks so loudly that he browns out
the voices Of everyone else, recount
ing his experiences in various lands.
He is commonly called the interna-
tional windbag" The species is very
common and exists In large numbers.
The third and perhaps worst va.
riety OF pest is the person who has
decided TO learn two or three foreign
languages while going across the
ocean and grabs your lapels az every
opportunity and asks you in horrible
French or Italian or German what
time the train leaves for Calais,
Trains in foreign phrase books al
ways leave for Calais, and by the
time the language pest gets through
pretending that you are the Official
Information bureau in every European
station you wish that no such town
had ever been invented and swear
that you will choke the next person
who mentions IL TO you:
OF course, when this phrase book
pest arrives in Italy or France he i'm
mediately begins to practice his new
accomplishment, and is quite astound-
ed when his victim looks at him
blankly. The Italian at a glance
book had Informed him that he would
be able to speak the language per-
factly In two weeks, and he had cor
nered everyone on the boat and had
practiced on them, so he is at a loss
TO understand why these stupid Ital-
ians can't comprehend their own Ian
guAge
tT.tzuz 49,, u - ..,agza - rorntop
language and have had some practice
In speaking IL, you had much better
stick to English. That has become al
most universal language, and Il is
preferable to speak gracefully and
with dignity a language that you are
practically certain will be understood
than TO founder around helplessly In
the maZes Of tongue OF which you
have only the vaguest knowledge
An educated American naturally
feels ashamed OF himself when he
goes abroad and finds that Maiters.
postcard vendors, portiers, concierges
aud the like speak three and four
languages fluently, while ne himself
knows nothing except English. And
he has a desire TO become prof.
cient In some foreign tongue; but
he can't learn one in a few weeks
out OF a what time does the train
leave for Calais book.
For all practical purposes English
is sufficient for the average travel
or making the grand, tour The rail-
way stations. hotels, shops and other
places visited by tourists are. well
fortified with linguists and the tour
ist will experience no difficulty in
being understood. And there are
English speaking guides everywhere.
While the English OF some OF them
sounds more like Choctaw than Eng.
lish, you can understand them bet
ter than phrase book student could
understand their native tongues
Guides have learned that the better
they speak English the more tips
they will get A tourist last sum
mer found only one place where the
guides did not speak English. That
was at the Little Trianon az Yer
sailles. These guides were soldiers
who did not deign to desert their
mother tongue
OF course, there are times when a
knowledge Of the language of the
country in which you are travelling
would be most convenient. Last sum.
MGR girl and her mother were with
q party from steamer that was go
ing through the Arab quarter in Al
Eiers. In some way their carriage be-
> came separated from the rest The
girl believed she could speak French.
She tried TO tell the driver TO return
TO the quay, but he was unable 10
understand her. The more excited
the girl became the cab driver be-
came correspondence excited.
He drove aimlessly through the
crowded district in the neighborhood
OF great mosque Swarms OF Arab
children followed the carriage. but
the driver was unable to beat them
or with hts whip He only made
them angry When the rest OF the
party finally found them, the girl
and her mother were almost hysteri-
col from fright.
....-... A. party Of Americans in Beilapio
last May decided 10 take the trip on
a funicular railway 20 the top OF
mountain. They arrived there just
as the train was about TO leave The
man who went TO buy the tickets was
~ an excitable disposition and the
ticket seller was unable TO under
ffand his frenzied request for tickets
The train was about 20 leave As q
usual when an Italian train Is abou
% leave, whistles blew, guard,