Evening star., 1914-08-09

go up to the French embassy and you
good and strong. Don't hesitate to
make 1t good and strong. 1 will wait
outside of the kitchen entrance, for
I feel sure that you are going to come
out by that way. And when you do
come out l will help sweep you up and
send for your relatives SO that they
can make adequate funeral arrange
ments. I will do the right thing by
you; All / want is to see you come
/ You needn't talk like that" responded
the hay and feed merchant, with dignity.
, because l am going to write them
! letter"
'Oh, you are2"
Yes, l am. That's a big idea. Keep
| out of cities"
And maybe he did write. Anyhow, the
! French have thus far kept out of their
| big cities-but then it is possible that this
idea might have occurred to some French
commander-in-chief without the helpful
assistance of the hay and feed merchant
How men change with the change In
eventsi The little hay and feed mer-
chant confronted suddenly with the task
! of killing a cat, would blanch and refuse
point-blank to do the job. Yet he could
| calmly talk of war-calmly. and with the
| confidence of Bismarck. MacMahon and
| Won Moltke combined.
! After a while the Observer dropped into
! iittle-hole-in-the-wan cigar store with a
| back room which. rumor says, is dedi-
| Gated to certain of the initiated who are
devotees of small games of chance. The
| proprietor of this place Is shabby. hope
| less, and persuaded to remain upon this
| useless world only because they still
manufacture patent medicine whose Jolt
| relegates ordinary 121-proof alcohol to
| the balmy-summer-zephyr class. He is
| continually possessed of look OF sur
prise. as If he knew that he should not
| make a sale, and your determination to
buy from him as a violation of all ethics
| and decency. Indeed it Is unsafe to pur-
chase more than a quarters worth of to-
| bacco from him at a time. To go further
| than this is to invite a state Of appre-
| hensfon, occasioned by his belief that the
| money is counterfeit.
The Observer purchased his cigarettes
and watched the dealer, who was pulling
nervously at his frayed shirt sleeves.
| The war, of course, was the topic OF
| conversation. Everywhere these days 1t
| is war, war. war. until one wonders how
| Andy Carnegie can continue to live on
| this cruel sphere without having his lit
| tie heart burst wide open.
| How does 1t hit you?" inquired the
The cigar store man trembled with emo
ton. He seemed to be hard hit by the
situation. -
this fashion? 1t is not right. Here Sec
retary Bryan has been spraining himself
getting ali these treaties of peace signed.
and then Europe comes along and gums
up the whole game outrage: teS Sa,i tha IT. on
| server. "It Is clearly evident that Ger
MANY. having declared war on France and
Russia. must abide by the consequences
of her act
| Then it was that the cigar dealer came
out with a real Talleyrandish PROPOSE
| ton. %, .
asked. well, / will tell you. If had my
way / would get the kaiser and the czar
| and the King OF England and the Presi-
| dent of France and the Emperor OF AUS
| tria-Hungary. together wth nj .neir caoi-
why not hire a hall?" interJected the
Observer.
I'm telling you what Woulo 90. = "oula
hire a boat and would invite them all
to come to a peace conference.
Fat chance.'., said the Observer, I've
got four-color. eight-column embossed
picture of the kaiser and the King Of
England and the President of France get
ting together. The first thing out of the
box would be King Georges celebrated
left hook landing on the kaiser's jaw
with a sickening thud and"
Look here!' said the cigar man in a
moaning voice. rs this my Idea or is it
yours?"
you can have it, replied the Observer.
Shoot
well then. as I was saying. would
invite them all on board my boat for a
peace conference. AS soon as got them
on board I would head for a desert is
land, going as fast as fast boat would
drive me. And once got them there
| would turn them all off and put big pile
of food in the middle of the island. I'd
station them at equal distances from the
| food Then would say to them: Boys.
somebody is going to starve to death.
| You are going to fight for that food until
it is all eaten up They would have no
weapons but their fists. Possibly the
| President of France would claw; don't
know about that. But certainly when
they got through they would have had
their stomachs full of this fighting idea"
IT don't know whether 1t has occurred
| to you that the navies Of the world might
be looking for their little kings and en-
perors and presidents and the like" alb
Jured the Observer.
| Huh" said the cigar dealer. what
| difference does that maker"
| "Oh, none. :. replied the Observer.
] Triumphantly the little cigar dealer.