The Harrison times., 1914-10-24
Observation-Disclosures,
:HOWTO MANAGE HUSBANDS:
ey JOSEPH BERNHARD.

bride
That's why I'm entirely competent
to handle the subject" retorted the
girl who likes to talk
"Why. you can't manage a canary,
let alone a man. scoffed her sister.
81 said husband not mere man, F"
sweetly explained the girl who likes
to talk. ANY kind Of man can be a
man, but 1t takes a particular kind
to be husband. That's why so many
women make mstakes--they don't APP
preciate the difference. They are ex'
actly as foolish as the men who think
any kind OF fuffy.rufIes girl has in
her the maklngs of an ideal cook and
housekeeper ready to pop forth like
the cap in a Christmas cracker!
"Why, it's no more natural for one
OF these snaky, fascinating, almond
eyed sirens that men go crazy over
to keep house than 1t Is for every man
to like to dig bitches just because
that's a mans work! However, that
isn't the point.
Naturally, any woman with sense
will keep her iron hand concealed
within her glove, but no matter how
much she COOS away IN public about
what Jack says and how Jack wants
this or Jack wants that, she knows
perfectly we'll that In reality she Is
ruling Jack with precision and dis.
patch, and II she has had time enough
he Is jumping through hoops and lying
down and rolling over in haste at tho
crack of the whip,
81 don't believe In the crushed mar
ried women you read about Any
woman has II In her power TO make
things 80 awlully uncomfortable for a
man at home that II she lets him
bully her she deserves It as a reward
for her own stupidity OF course
there are eccentric men who under
circumstances like these will shrug
their shoulders and 90 to the club or
the theator and forget It, and then
friend wife loses the trick, but the
average man is lost outside his own
home and you couldn't pry him away
II you tried
ole IN helpless In the hands Of the
feminine enemy, He couldn't hnd his
clean shirts 70 save his neck, and
long, long ago he lost track OF the
lair from which emerge his clean
handkerchiefs and socks lIe has
truslfully received them from the
hands OF his wife for 80 many moons
that he'd have TO hire q detective
agency IL he had to search for them
himself. As for towels, all he has to
do 10 stretch forth his hand and open
the cupboard door In the bathroom,
but he never does II, He cranes his
neck over the stairs and shouts down
reproachfuIly TO his wife that there
apparently IL not towel in the house,
and he pOthetIcally wishes, II It is not
too much trouble, that she would
ascend the stairs and find one lie
hates to bother her, Of course, but he
really must have a towel
"Thon he stands more or less pa
tIently while she opens the cupboard
door and bumps him in tho nose with
il and gets a towel and Btufr3 Il into
his hand Perhaps, however, she tar
ries to wipe the back Of her husbands
neck and ears for him, like one woman
| know,
"Why heard about man who got
married because he had millions OF
loving relatives and II drove him
crazy buying presents for them at hol'
lday time, and he anew that II he had
a wife she would have to buy the pres
ents Husbands shift all sorts OF
things upon their wives shoulders be-
sides shopping They make them do
all the dinner calls and the letter
writing and the charity work and the
battling with house bills, and the In
yitatIon lIst, and II n woman Is Wise
she viii submit to H. The secret IN
TO make your hdsband 80 dependent
on YOU that he'd be lost without YOU,
OOU lOOU ON " w 80 NNNI'V w lU' lu't
Of losing you that he'll lot you do any
old thing you want to-"
II don't see anything very bright
about that" said the sister Of the Girl
who likes TO talk "ln plain words
make u slave Of yourself In order TO
boss your husband who comes out
ahead9"
II am sure" said the bride ~ don't
have to manage Jim lie Ia perfectly
lovely to me and let's me have my own
way In every
"Oh, my book isn't going to be- WRIT
ten for eyRles and little blind geese
like you two," explained the girl who
likes TO talk. ITS for the women who
realize that they've either got to man'
age their husbands or die In the at
tempt, And mostly" added the girl,
with n Sigh, they dot"
"What7" asked the bride,
ole" explained the girl who likes
10 talk, "sllll trying to Learnt"