Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1914-12-10
A GUIDE TO THIS FRAcAs.
TELL 1T 70 THE JUDGE.
BY Our Military Expert.

by Our Military Expert.
I've heard u lot of high brow reasons
% explain this war, but I'm telling 1t
plain when / say that / put it down to
carrying loaded
Maybe embarrassment has slipped
something over, too. A great ruler
must be embarrassed just as an or
binary guy would be when he's asked
Why he's carrying so much artillery
and never using 1t. Everybody says he
10 fo~urflushing, and by and by he be-
gins to think so himself. People go to
q king and they ask why so much
money is spent on armies and navies
n then a long drawn out peace
brings a blush to the royal face. The
king says he's carrying his weapons for
moral effect. BY n by that wears off
and he gets the laugh. Carrying loaded
weapons is what makes a gunman. I've
seen them made that way. And, Of
course. a gunman. who doesn't shoot is
no more a gunman han somebody
hanging out the wash.
AS 1 say, and going on to explain this
war 1t Is very embarrassing to a king
70 be always u toting, without any
thing more happening than being tired
by the load. A gunman pulls his gun
and practices before the mirror; the
monarch holds a peace mobilization
and q naval review. They both like
their own looks and are ready to be
1nsulted.
Then the gunman waits for some-
body to insult him, and whips out his
gun. When the smoke clears away
somebody asks: What did you shoot
for?" The gunman says: 'That u
gave me an evil look. / thought he had
2 knife n was going to pull it,"
Now take the king. He starts his
army w the border. What dye do
that. for% we ask.
u somebody threw a brick"
ne says. Look in my White Paper
n you'll see 1t all explained"
We turn to the other fellow and we
says: What did you throw a dornick
1T wasn't a brick. 1t was a din,o-
matte rose" says this other guy. II
threw 1t very gently at that low brow
menace to civilization. Look at him
now where 1t lit on him. The first
thing you know, he'll be c%onquering
the whole world. I've Deer unable to
sleep nights because of ii. But I can
HEX him with one hand tied. When I'm
nroug With him, 1t will cost him 10
cents to g a postal to Alispice and
Lorraine" he says.
That's the Frenchman. Then the
Esnglisker pipes up: That's right!
Good for you. Go to Ii, old top! rye
been thinking for 10 years Td have to
clean up with this German welter-
!" sc pliC Iii Sldy WIN YOU Till
your broke, old gangster. If Paris falls.
you'll get q nice letter from me-" he
says. III never get a chance like this
% LOO q to make the balance OF
power look like a last years birds nest.
For along time / was on pins and
needles for fear this German yegg
wouldn't outrage laws and civilized
Sustonas by Starting through Belgium
sDeIore you got a chance to do it. But
now that worry is over and remem-
per, Japan. that upholder of English
traditions. and Russia, the land of the
Tree. where Justice and mercy are al
ways lingering, are with US now!''
The Italian. stands with his hand on
ais automatic waiting to see which
g g,oe Will treat when the fuss is over.
Inc Turk is glad to see. for the first
time, that the ~reighbors are too busy
to8tell him where he gets off.
1And, with all the gun play, the rag
Chewing back and forth sounds like a
bargain day in a cut-price millinery
shop.