Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1914-11-07
MAGAZINE SECTION
Evening Star S
Daily Story
GETTING OUT OF IT
BY DON La GRANGE.


marry again?s
Bless me, but what question" he
replied, as he choked.
But I-shopld like to know"
1t amt likely that I would
You believe I'll go to heaven when
die, don't you?"
Straight as a crow files
And how'd 1 feel lookin' down from
heaven and seein' you around with
another wife!"
But the angels in heaven can't look
down on earth.''
It Is said they can't, but how does
anybody know they can't?"
These are nice mashed taters,"
said the deacon. as he helped him.
self to some more.
Ills wife was q Christian woman
and church member, but neverthe-
70 know, you know, and he found
1t safer to choke her off than to argue
with her. He was hoping he had in
this case, when she said
Yes, I've got a knack of mashin'
taters, and you'll miss me when I'm
Moses ?"
You'll probably outlive me by ten
II probably won't and I want to
know If you will marry again?'
No, sir, 1 shouldn't"
The deacon was vexed with her
persistency, ana he brought out his
answer with an emphasis
All right said the wife and be-
gan talking something else.
Next day, she and another woman
were drowned by the upsetting of a
beat on the river. The deacon. who
was over fifty, was overwhelmed for
time, but gradually his grief wore
away and he was like himself again.
1t lis not contended that he was an
absent-minded man, but 1t Is stated,
and 1t Is quite reasonable, that after
the first month the deacon did not
think of that promise again for four
years. Then it came like a knockout
blow. Bit by bit he had come to be
friends with the widow Stevens. He
had set on her doorstep; he had sat
by her fire; he had hoed in her gar
den; he had split wood for her cook
stove. Aye, he had called her Sarah,
and she had called him Moses. One
evening he had had a talk with him
self beginning with
BY the great horn spoon, but that
wilder can make a custard fit for a
king!"
And then: Deacon, you have been
widower for four years-for four
long years You have been sad and
lonely. 1t has come mighty hard
And again:
There's folks winkin' and blinkin'
around and sayin' that me and the
wilder win make a match of it, but.
let EN- wink and blink. 1t hain't
nf nj n
have told 'em so.''
Then, with a chuckle:
1T wouldn't be bad match for
either one of us. Home is where the
husband and wife Is, and we've
neither one of us got a home 'cordin'
TO that. l wonder If ! had better
hint around?"
Three minutes elapsed and then the
deacon brought hts fist down and
exclaimed:
"Hlnt2 Hint? No, I won't hint u
hint! I'll just ask her outright
And he was going over In his mind
what he would say when a thought
struck him and he fairly leaped from
his chair and gasped out:
My promise to my wife that I
wouldn't marry again!"
For flve minutes Deacon Strothers
was. as weak in the knees as If he
and that promise was like a wall
across his future path.
What did Martha ever poster me
into making that promise for?" he
asked himself at wasn't right-no,
it wasn't Did 1 ask her not to marry
again i'm case I. died first? No, of
course didn't. jest left it to her
Feelings in the matter
Was there any way out of it,?
49, he 4 =
1t was an hour after the deacons
usual bedtime, but he was still as
lively as a fox. He went over the
matter for ten minutes and then said:
why did / promise? Because
Martha was In the best of health, and
appeared good for fifteen years yet.
Did she give me the slightest hint
that she was goin' to be silly enough
to get into a boat the next day? No,
she didn't Did she say she might get
drowned? Not a word. wouldn't O
court hold that 1t was deception, and
that I wasn't bound by my promise?
When Jabez Reed sold me a COW for
thirty dollars and never said a word
about her jumpin' fences didn't the
court make him take her back? 1t
said he suppressed a fact. Didn't
Martha do the same?"
The deacon went to bed feeling bet
ter, but when he awoke next morning
his conscience began to trouble him
Attain. -
didi'' he exclaimed over his break
fast; and soon as the meal was fin
isfed he clapped on his hat and went
out to look up Robert Roebuck.
Mr.. Roehuck was known as a very
pious, God-fearing man, and he would
see both sides of the case and render
a fair decision. He was given the
facts. and, after chewing on them for
five minutes, he said:
Deacon, you was a fool for maxim
any such promise"
II know ! was
"My old woman has asked me
niore'n forty times to promise the
same thing, but I never have done it
and never will
But wish I hadn't"
But you did, and now we must
see how you can get out Of 1t. Was
your wife ever in a boat till that
day?'
Never
"was there any call for her to gp
on the river?"
mot call"
(which of the women suggested
that they take the boat?"
my wife,
Deacon Strothers. if that don't
come under the head of conspiracy,
then my old white cow is a red onel
II any one conspires to force a prom
Use out of another. then that promise
won't hold"
81 believe you are right, Mr.. Roe
buck" replied the deacon with relief
in his voice.
''Of course / am. An agreement
that benefits only one side does not