South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-12-21
Statesmen Real
and Near.
By Fred c. Kelly

WASHINGTON. Dec. y. - Victor
Murdoch. Rep. Clyde Kelly Of Penn
sylvania. ana one or TWO others. form
ed sturdy little band that went on a
rapid speaking tour through New Jer-
7ey in behalf of the progressive ticket
They spoke not only in regular
meeting places put on street corners
whenever they felt that the moment
was at hand 10 deliver the message.
"Oughtn't we to have a band to get
the crowds together" asked one OF
the orators
No replied Vic Murdoch. who was
the most experienced campae ner Of
the bunch. the way to get a crowd
together is simply to stand up and be-
sin 10 talk
oh. very WELL" said the others,
then YOU show us how it's Done
Victor arose in their automobile at
the next street corner, cleared his
throat and was about to uncoil a
.peech when ne noted a condition that
was distinctly unfavorable to his pur
poses. There was not u living soul in
5 ight-nOt even a dog.
Now, to draw crowd by means of
a speech one must start talking TO
somebody The only orators who
address themselves TO nobody at all
DO so in padded cells. and Vic Muir
made a speech just to a hitching rack
or a lamp post it would do more harm
than good. He looked up and down
the village street, and from around
the corner, TO his great JOY, came
drunken man. Victor felt as If he
ought to rush out and kiss him, but
he merely caught the mans eye and
began his speech. Presently a little
crowd gathered, and then Victor in
troduced the next speaker. that ster
ling young patriot and gifted orator,
Congressman Clyde Kelly of Pennsyl-
vania."
Whereupon the drunken person who
had served as a decOy for the rest
of the crowd looked up at Victor and
inquired:
MAY l go now"
Tom Helin, the Alabama congress
man, noted for his negro stories and
his unqualified opposition to woman
suffrage. is telling a tale about
colOred man down in Alabama who
was sentenced TO prison for stealing
pig.
sentencin' me to jail" said the
prisoner. discussing the case. ''He jes'
done what he thought he had TO,
'cordin' to the law. And that ere
prosecutin 'torney - i amt holdin'
anything agin him. He calculated
he wasn't doin' no mo- than his duty.
But them men on the Jury-theyVc
uueered themselves with me-
Hardly a week goes by without some
visitor from Wyoming dropping into
the United States supreme court for
look at Justice Van DeN dnter-only
he visitor who goes there for that
purpose does not think of him as
Justice Van Devanter. but as Old Van.
When Van Devanter was federal
VI Inc nd q
attorney of the state nobody ever
called him judge or mister. He was
known to men Of high and low de- |
gree simply as Van.
\ short time ago a cattle man from
Wyoming went TO the capitol TO see
his old friend Van Devanter. He
reached the supreme court room just
as the justices we're solemnly, digni- /
dedly marching across the hall into
the chamber.
Hello. Van" shouted the visitor
10 the great CONSERVATION of all the
other bystanders.
And Van looked as if he wanted
10 hurdle his enforced dignity and
greet his old friend.
Another Wyoming man named An
derson took a seat in the supreme
court room and caught Van De-
Vanters eye. 1t would have been
breach of judicial dignity for the
Justice to nod to him, but he gave
his friend a wee suggestion of wink
and. grasping his hands down under
his judicial robe. went through the
motions of giving a hearty hand
shake.
Sen. Thomas of Colorado. is not at
all sensitive about the fact that he has
a bald head and wears a wig. He not 4
cnly removes his wig in summer along
with his heavy underwear, but if he
il at q dinner party and the subject
of bald heads is brought up he usual I
~ reaches up. pulls of his wig and eX-
plains:
You know I'm a bit bald myself I
And ne Will pass his wig about for
The inspection of as many as may de- /
sire 10 see il.
Copyright 1914. by Fred G. kelly) |