New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-03-21
and all that sort Of thing. So that when

ana all tnaI SORT Oh tHiHb' Oo s"os 'N''
get guests in my own house and the
public Is shut out. adjourn being Presi-
dent and take leave to be gentleman. II
they draw back and insist upon my doing
something first firmly decline.
There are blessed intervals when Tor
get by one means or another that ! am
President of the United States. one
means by which I forget is to get rat
ting good detective story, get after some
imaginary offender ard chase him all
over-preferably any continent but tnis'
because the various parts OF this contl-
nent are becoming painfully suggestive 10
me. The po5toAices and many other
things which Stir Renaissance nave
'sicklied them DER with pale cast OF
thought There are postoffices to which
I wouldn't think of mailing letter which
7 can't think of without trembling with
the knowledge Of all the heartburnings
of the struggle there was In connection
with getting somebody installed as post
master.
Now, II I were free. would come not
infrequently up to these rooms. You know
I never was in Washington but very
few times, and for a very few hours. until
I came last year, and never expect to
see the inside Of the public buildings In
Washington until my term is over. The
minute l turn up anywhere / am person
ally conducted to beat the band. The
curator and the assistant curators. and
every other blooming official, turn up, and
they show me so much attention that
don't see the building. l would have to
say, Stand aside and let me see what
you are showing me-
Some day, after / am through with
this office, / am going to come back to
washington and see it. In the mean time
I am in the same category as the Ma
tional Museum. the Monument, the Smith
sonian Institution or the Congressional
Library, and everything that comes down
here has to be shown the President. III l
only knew an exhibition appearance 10
assume-apparently l can assume other
appearances that do not show what IS
going on inside-I would like to have II
pointed out, so that / could practlse IL
before the looking glass and see II L
could not look like the Monument. Being
regarded as a national exhibit, it Will
be much simpler than being shaken hands
with by the whole United States.
"And yet even that is interesting TO
me- simply because like human beings.
1t is a pretty poor crowd that does not
interest you. think they would have to
be all members Of that class that devotes
itself to expense regardless OF pleasure
in order to be entirely uninteresting.
These look so much alke-spend their
time trying to look so much alike-and
so relieve themselves Of all responsibility
Of thought-that they are very monoto-
nous indeed to look at; whereas. crowd
picked up off the street is just jolly lot
"a Job lot of real human beings. pulsat-
ing with life, with all kinds Of passions
and desires.
1T would be a great pleasure If, unob-
served and unattended. l could be
knocked around as ! have been accus-
toned to being knocked around all my
life; II l could resort to any delightful
quarter, to any place in Washington that
l choose. l have sometimes thought OF
going to some co3tumer s-some theatri-
cal costumer sand buying an assortment
of boards. rouge and coloring and all the
known means of Disgusting myself, II IT
were not against the law. You see,
have a scruple as President against
breaking the law, and Disgusting ones
self is against the law, but If l could dis
guise myself and not get caught, l would
go out, be free American citizen once
more, and have n jolly time. l might
then meet some Of you gentlemen and
actually tell you what l really thought.