Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1914-12-17
A Bit O. Nonsense

equality.
She-Oh, yes. there is-in the ia,
Office.
Reggie is going the pace that kills
all right"
Nonsense! Why, he does nothing
from morning to night but loung'
around the club"
well, that's the pace that kills
time"
"This day is the anniversary OF the
one on which the grill | was madly II
love with refused to marry me-
SIS that why you remember it witt
regret?" a5a
mo. that is why | am giving
thanks 'a,.
John. everybody we know in oul
| circumstances seems able to get ar
automobile. Why can't we have one"
Because, my dear, we will have tC
| wait un'.l we have paid up to the
building association before we can
mortgage the house"
"Who is that naughty looking darE
lady on the right?"
THAT is Signora JuareZ-Torreon
| Varanza.Quilla of Mexico"
And what are all those badges
buttons and medals with which she Is
almost covered?"
"Why. she's a Daughter of Three
Hundred and Twenty.nine Revol1l
tions!"
George AIDE tells a story which ne
SAYS always seems fresh and glisten
ing to him, no matter how old it gets
1t is about two solemn looking gen
tlemen who were riding together in
railway carriage. One gentleman sale
to the other: SIS your wife enter
tanning this summer" .
Whereupon the second gentleman
replied: mot very" .a..
The teacher had been giving hel
little ones some lessons in table
manners. IF you want to leave the
table," she said, "before the others
do, you should always say, Excuse
me-" The next day, wishing to see
how well they remembered her in
structions, she asked: Fred, Wher
should you say, Excuse me- at the
table"
when we have company was tine
earnest reply. "
Even the war has it's bright side
Two colored porters were discussing
it as they waited for a train to pull
into the station. -
MAN. said the first, "dem Ger
many submoroons is sho'ly gwine tc
| sink de British navy. Yes, ser.ee
! dey's sho'ly gwine to 'splode den
naval boats OATS waitin' out yonda.'
"Sho!" said porter No. 2. "An
what's gwine ter happen den? T.
"Why, den Germany submaroonsI
come right on cross de ocean an
'splode de rest of de naval boats OF
de world. OATS whatN happen den
| Sambo." i .f,.t&
"WeH, looky heah, Gawge. Amt 20
an me better tdecla'f 3ouahselyess +
couple O. Observation-Disclosures !"
"Man," said Gawge, "yo' all kin be
a MORTALITY if yo' wants to. Aim
German"
A little boy had. been given a white
suit and before going to the picnic
was cautioned strictly to KEEP his new
apparel clean. He obeyed with scrup
ulous care until late in the afternoon
when, with a tired look of appeal
he asked: -..m. .
Mamma, may I sit on my pants!
The customer in the grocery store
having ruined his clothes, was hop
ping mad. ,
Didn't you see that sign, Fresf
Daint'?" asked the grocer.
"Of course I did," snapped the Gus
toner; "but I've eel so many sign'
hung up here announcing something
fresh which wasn't that | didn't be
lieve it."
The long-winded member of the de
bate club had held forth for man!
minutes past his allotted time, IN
still showed no signs of exhaustion
Feeling thirsty he reached out TO-
the water. carafe, but found it empty
Motioning to the usher to have it fill
ed, he would have proceeded with nj:
speech but for an interruption.
A member in the back seat rost
and waved his arms excitedly. Il pro
test, Mr.. Chairman he said, II pro
test, Protest against what?' asked
the chairman. Running a. windmill
with water was the reply. >
A little girl travelling in a sleeping
car with her parents greatly objectet
to being put in an upper BERTH Sht
was assured that papa, mamma, ant
God would watch over her. She was
settled in the berth at last and thu
passengers were quiet for the nigh
when a small voice piped:
Mammal"
"Yet, dear"
"You there?"
Eyes, I'm here. Now go to sleep
Papa, you there?"
"Yes, I'm here. Go to sleep, like i;
good girl"
This continued at intervals for some
time, until a fellow passenger lost pa
tience, and called:
"We're all here! Your father AT
mother, and brothers and sisters, ant
uncles and aunts, and first cousins
All here! Now go to sleep!'
There was a brief pause after thi'
explosion. Then the tiny voice pipet
up again, but very softly.
mammal"
Well?"
WAS that GOd?"
AUDITORS NOTICE OF PAYMENT
OF SIDEWALK WARRANTS.
Notice is Hereby Given, That thu