Morris tribune., 1914-07-31
AUGUST


Julius Caese~, and came to the throne
at a time when the situation in
Egypt was about as delicate as any
in Roman history. Mark Antony, the
Coy ernor of that province. was dancing
the tango every night with Cleopatra
in the royal palm garden, and the
affairs of Rome on that side Of the
Mediterranean were fast going to pot.
The Senate wanted to fire Mark, but
Augustus knew better. It was the
height of the Chautauqua season, and
Mark was the best orator in Rome.
Augustus knew very well that if he
were deposed he would take to the
circuit and plunge the empire into
civil war. He advised watchful wait
ing. A keen student of human ma
ture, he knew it would not be long
until Cleopatra would ask Mark to
give up Rome for her, and that there
would then be fight in which the
Egyptians, who smoked cigarettes.
would by opposed by the Romans, who
smoked cigars. It turned out exactly
as he thought, and after losing the
battle of Actium, in which their
fiat-chested cohorts were easily de-
feated by the legions of Rome, An
tony and Cleopatra leaped from one
of the pyramids into the River Nile.
Rome, always grateful to those who
preserved peace after the long series
of wars which led to the assassina-
ton of Julius Caeser by Brutus and
other peace advocates, changed the
name of the sitxh month in the Roman
calendar Sextilis. to August. Thus
two Caesers have their names per-
petuated in the months of the year,
the one addicted to conquest and
controversy. and the other quietly
slipping his grape juice.
The busy Congress shall desist
From work and worriment at last,
Z And file tabulated list
OF all the legislation passed.
The Congressman who never rose,
To say word shall do the rest,
And rapt chautauquas at the close
Shall pin a medal on his breast.
The way was long for those reforms
in which the party calls US blest. and
many evillooking storms have rend.
cred perilous the quest; but having
anchored at the last, where all is
quiet and content, we Shall not turn
to look aghast upon the way the
matter went. 1t is enough that we
should know how watchful waiting
won the day, how Huerta quilted
Mexico, and what the other powers
say; that currency has been reformed
ard never shall be scarce again; that
all the trusts are being storlned by
Prudence and hers merry men; that
evildoing is controlled, the giant
Privilege is dead, and all remains fol
US is hold on tight and catapult ahead.
The Palm Beach suit will grace the
scene
Where summer fashion turkey trots
And rivulets- of gasoline
Will watch for blemishes and spots
The love that changeth with the moor
Will bloom again by bights anc
bays.
The spinster will achieve the boon
Of being loved for seven days,
The summer man will softly urge
oNo,,v,l
plum, g.s.>., y
And some grass widow will emery,
Displaying it upon her thumb.
. The festive calf will wrap his tai
! around his withers swatting flies, ant
nothing cooling. shall avail agains
f; the fury of the skies. The swimming
hole will get SO green the boys will
! have to skim. the scum, the fragil
! flowers on the Scene will sadly curtes,
!: and succumb, the ambulance will das
{ about for folks who monkeyed wit
/; the sun, the weary hired man will
!: shbut for gladness when the day i
| done. the soda fountain clerk viii
I shbve the more impatient off the bar
/. and men will get some notion of ex
); actly where the wicked are.
I BIT LET the sky catch FIRE and burn.
I SOr let the sun become ball
/; Of fireworks, we shall discern
: The pleasant imminence of Fall.
The thought of Autumn shall sustai
! Our courage when the day is hot
!; To hear the cider press complain
Shall ease and temporize our lot.
If'old Ulysses went through hell
Sustained by thoughts of Mrs. u.
!: We probably can do as we'll
= For Autumn coming into view.
1t was on Aug. Sd that Columbu
set sail from Spain to discover Am
erica for Mr.. Rockefeller, and tn
Standard Oil magnate will therefor
observe the day with an extra roun
of golf He can do this inexpensive
ly, and get little exercise out of