Devils Lake weekly world. (Devils Lake, N.D.) 1911-1914, 1914-02-13
A DEPUTY
SHERIFF
By NJ. QUAD
Copyright, 1913. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

The stranger adult that first caught
sight of the Widow Henderson of the
town Of Grand Ledge laughed out.
right OF vas dumb with amazeWent.
The Widow Henderson was exactly
six feet four inches in height and
weighed 200 pounds. Whether it was
six feet four in her stockings or With
her shoes on is none of the readers
business. She was homely as a bur-
! dock and as rugged as an oak. She
bad a voice like a bass drum and the
strength of an OK. :
You may have noticed that big men.
always marry little women, and vice
versa. Her deceased husband was
only Eve feet tall and his weight was
Just an even hundred. When she
moved to Grand Ledge from a distant
town she oon ran across Peter Hipps
and marked him down for husband No
2. Peter was five feet tall and weigh.
ed ninety-eight pounds. His face val
smooth. and his voice was girlish.
The young man was by no e
dull witted. but he was made the vic
tim Of much chatting and joking. The
climax came when the sheriff Of the
county appointed him a deputy. Grand
Ledge was a pretty hard town. and
there were a score Of farmers around
who came in at least once a week and
made 1t worse. Peter Hips was 9
cipher to them. Whenever he tried to
exert his authority he was carried out
and dumped into a mudhole or dror
ped OF the bridge over the creek
Sometimes he was chased out Of town
and didn't dare return for two or three
days.
The Widow Henderson heard and
saw and knew. and one day when she
met the lightweight deputy on the
street she said:
"Baby. you sure need a protector.
Shall we get married?"
"You bet"
And married they were next day. and
on the next the bride walked sever
miles to the county seat town and into
the sherid's Office to say to that Official:
II want to be deputy sheriff al
Grand Ledge"
"I'm looking for some one"
well. you needn't look any further.
II can't s~traighten the kinks out
~ithin a month III resign"
"Mebbe you know ! appointed Pete
Hips as Z joker queried the officer.
"Yes. l do. and you ran app'int me
tho same way II you want to, but
there won't be much joking after ! get
started. III make 1t Z very solemn
business for most Of EN-"
"Well, expect there'l Be lots Of
talk about it. but you shall b . dep.
uy."
The town considered that marriage
a. the greatest joke for twenty years
Every time It was mentioned q dozen
men hooted and took another drink,
They paraded In front of the brides
house and sang and swOre and cat
called and scared poor Peter until be
crept under the bed and walled.
~ thought you was going to dc
something's"
mo hurry. baby" was the reply
I'm giving the calf ali the rope II
wants. 1t amt agin the law to hoo
around when a couple. gets married."
Next forenoon half a dozen horny
handed sons Of toll came in to cell thei,
butter and eggs and have some fun
The fun was to consist Of taking three
or. four drinks apiece and then chuck
ing the newlyweds of the bridge to
gether. Word was sent them that |
they did not appear voluntarily tn
mob would pay the house a visit.
"Well. baby. the time has come!
grimly announced the bride to tn
groom. 3 ~ .f<
lord, but I'm scarf to death" re
piled Peter as his teeth began t
chatter.
"Baby. femme tell you something
There's going to be a row. and W
shall both be in it. You pin on you
badge. get your handouts and clut
and we are going out to crack heads
II you don't fight like a man nine fee
high Ill take you over my knee an
spank you before the whole town
Come on now"
Pete was all a-shiver, but he obeye
her. There were fifty men waiting 1
front Of the p%ostofice, and Of the nun
Der at least twenty were hilarious an
ripe for mischief.
ITO the creek! To the creek!' VI
shouted as the bride and groom halte
and faced them.
"Now, baby" said the wife in 4 guile
voice. 1.-THE fun II due to begin! Pic
out the hard cases and strike like til
k3ck Of a mule: It's 4 public spankin
e you show the:white -featherE'
With 4 couple Of warwhoops ths
would have doae credit 10 Comanct
chiefs. bride and groom sailed II. tt
toughs were taken u~nprepared. tt
clubs were welded without mercy. IN
he rabble broke and 6ed With hard
Q defense. They were followed an
oven more club. and then 10 the nun
ber Of twelve were arrested. locked U
for a couple Of hours. and then take