Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-03-20
Mistellaneons 8eaaine.
AN EPIC OF fuckers eULcH
Thing Like Human Tornado Does Not

Worry This Western Editor.
This is n printers story-the tale Of
one Mark Wallis, a member OF that al
most extinct tribe Of printers errant
who, in the days before the linotype,
wandered from town to town, gathered
little pelt but seeing many sides of life
It was told to the author by another
printer, Hayden Carruth. and thus the
story runs:
IN the early days Of the gold ex-
citement in the Black Hills was at
fuckers Gulch, working in the Daily
Prospector office. Henry McNabb was
the editor. He was a little sawed off
sample of humanity, some five feet
high, and weighing about 110 pounds.
BY some congenital misdeal, however,
he had got in the matter Of combative-
ness, the disposition of man twice as
high and weighing 700 or 500 pounds.
THE disproportion in Mr.. McNabb's
size and temper rendered 1t necessary
to keep a fighting editor on the staff,
and |, being a man of peace, this i'm
portant position was held by printer
named Snort-Reuben Snort-at least
that Is what he said his name was.
and nobody felt disposed to question
it. Reuben was large and square cor
nered, with craggy and beetling out
lines, jutting lower jaw and sheer
height of six feet two. His head was
round and evidently Of granite forma-
ton and covered with heavy growth
Of brindled hair. His nose had been
broken in some cataclysm Of the re-
mote past, and his ears had also suf-
fered. Take him all in all, he was Of
stern and forbidding aspect and re-
minded the beholder Of some of the
wilder scenery along the Grand Can
yon of the Colorado. He was an eX-
tensive and Industrious consumer of
tobacco, which he borrowed with beau
tiful impartiality from McNabb and me,
or anybody else who had any to lend.
In the matter Of borrowing tobacco
Reuben realized the universal brother
hood Of man more nearly than any one
l ever knew.
The entire editorial work was done
by McNabb. He used to turn out from
two to three columns day, which we
set up and printed off. Our office was
above liquor store called the Happy
Home. Domestic difficulties seemed to
be characteristic of the Happy Home,
and the report Of firearms was fire.
quent, and occasionally a carelessly
aimed bullet would come ripping
through the floor and pass out by way
of the ceiling This made McNabb nerv-
Gus, and he finally had heavy oak
floor laid ever the other, which in
manner did away with the annoyance,
though some Of the patrons Of the
Happy Home, notably one William
Brewer, of Double Eagle Canyon, car
ried such uncomomnly heavy firearms
that the oak planks offered inadequate
resistance to the flight Of their bullets
But before l speak further Of the
genial Brewer l must refer to diff
Guilty under which the office labored
Capital WIS and HIS would run short
nearly every day, while lower case MS
SIS and some other letters would fire.
quently fail us. McNabb came to show
great ingenuity in avoiding the use Of
the letters in which there was def
cheney. Thus he would speak Of the
great and glorious capital city Of this
nation, instead Of referring to it SIM
ply as Washington when we reported
a growing scarcity Of W's, and If SIS
failed, when writing Of new mine he
would check his impulse to say that
| samples Of ore assayed 500 per ton
| and observe that a fragment examin-
ed in the approved manner indicated
500 per tom 1t was a very ingenious
subterfuge. But even with this letters
would sometimes run out, when WI.
would do the best we could, and L re-
member an item which appeared in
this shape: James Thompxon Of
| Spearfixh, wax in town yeXterday. He
reportx that the new Xmelter tx in full
blaxt. We wiki the Consolidated
company xuccexX.'
McNabb could easily have replenish-
ed the type with the necessary sorts,
but he never did. No bad results Of
the lack were ever experienced till on
the occasion of a visit to town from
Mr.. William Brewer, before mention
ed. Mr.. Brewer was large, quarrel
some man, given to liquor. About once
a month he would come from Double
Eagle Canyon and spend a loud and
hilarious week in town, if not sooner
| crippled by well-timed bullet or
chased out by sheriff's posse. Nc
Nabb never had any trouble with him.
| Indeed, he rather welcomed his visits
as they were productive Of local news.
1T happened on the occasion of one
of Brewers periodical incursions that
we ran short of capital Bs Usually
these held out pretty we'll, but there
was a long reading notice of coming
circus that day and they always ate up
capitals in a surprising manner There
were lines about the Bounding Beasts
OF the JuHSle, TIE DO"-odShSo bS-
hemoth Of the Bottomless Bog the
'Conglomeration of Living and Breath
less Wonders Bought with the sacri-
flee of Billows of Blood and Billions Of
Bullion and so forth.
Along in the afternoon McNabb
saw Brewer, and came in and wrote
personal about him. When / took i
from the copy hook and saw that it
called for capital BIS. being anxious to
avoid all misunderstanding where
Brewer was concerned, l said to Nc
Nabb:
THE upper case BIS are all out.
| Can't we get around this somehow?
Like to know how you'd do it, he
said, with a scowl, glancing over the
copy, and shaking his head discourag-
ingly.
| Then we might pull some of the
cap BIS in the circus notice, and sub
stitute lower case I suggested.
Cant afford to offend an advertis-
er these hard times. Put it as usual
when we're short of a capital retorted
II Il