The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-05-12

HoG1aHoCK DIPLOMACY.
~ LAwnEHCE ALrRED' CLAl


Her name Was Jane schemerhorn, and
she was thirty-ssven years old
She wasn't homeiy enough to stop .
clock. and shs wasn't 20 pretty - to
have any odes composed for her benefit
and left on the doorsteps
People often wonder why such and
such an old maid didn't get married IN
her younger days. There are several
answers to that, but the main one Il that
there are plenty Of communities where
the supply Of menAis not large enough
to go round. and some poor giri must
be left out-perhaps half . dozen of
them. Sarah schemerhorn was one Of
the ieft-outs or left-overs. She had a good
home with q brother and tried TO be .
philosopher and had about resigned her
self to the situation when q cousin
made his arrival for visit.
This cousin was not only Q man. but
an old bacheior-one Of the last in the
bag expected to give advice on love and
matrimony. He hadn't been in the house
five minutes when he said:
Sarah, you are the only Old maid
among the schemerhorns for hundred
years past"
but II isn't my fault"
"Not up to this date. perhaps"
What do you meanT
rs there an old batch around here who
would make a good husband?
And what II there is?"
I'm going to help you to marry him
Don't talk like goose. Stephen"
This il very serious on my part.
What is the name Of the man you have
in mindr'
II have no one In mind, but there is a
bachelor who has a fruit farm Just out
of the village. His name Is Foster.
TN go and look him over"
why, cousin
BE back In an hour. Time enough has
been lost already"
The cousin was back within the hour
and reported:
That man Foster is all right"
How all rightT'
"Au right about making you a good
husband. He's a steady. solid man. and
one who would appreciate a good wife
and a home"
cousin, you are talking very queer"
Nothing queer about II. You are
good girl and ought to have a good hus-
band. Foster is a good man, and he
knows he woEld be far happier with
wife"
There's no butts about it. You have
met him. Has he ever called hereT
mo"
Then he has got something coming to
him will arrange It SO that he will
call"
you will do nothing of the kind. sir!
Do you imagine I am going to throw my
self ar any mans head"
Gently. Cousin Sarah Nature intend
ed that every man and woman should
marry. There Is a destiny you must
obey, and sometimes one needs to ring
in a trick or two in obeying. Why haven't
got married"
TOO fekle. probably"
Nothing of the kind. It's because I've
always been scarf at the idea of popping
the question. II the right kind of a wom-
an had schemed little shed have caught
me long ago"
How schemed?' was asked.
why, found a way of limiting that I
could come counting. and while l court
ed she could have Dragged what a pie
maker she was. and boosted that she
made her own dresses and all that There
Is love and matrimony. but after one has
reached the age of twenty-five he wants
to be handled automatically. Instead OF
calling II running after man. you want
to refer to it as encouraging man to
run after you
You have queer ideas," laughed the
old maid; but the next two hours were
ones
On the next afternoon cousin Ste
phen said to her:
Get on your things. Sarah. and take
a little stroll with me. 1 saw some
thing yesterday that 1 want to investi-
gate a little closer"
As they reached the street they
turned in the direction of the Foster
farm, and after walking for twenty
minutes Miss Sarah halted.
"why-why, what are we going this
way for?"
ITO see Fosters hollyhocks-"
"But-but-
Come right along. cousin. He has
white and red and blue hollyhocks.
and yesterday I thought l saw some
black ones among them"
But you couldn't have"
But I want to make sure. 4 florist
in Boston has advertised a reward of
81 .Oc0 for a specimen of black holly
hook. II Foster has got them and
hasn't seen the advertisement, then
I'll put him wise"
I'll wait here at the gate" said the
old maid.
She was left there while Stephen
went around back of the house and
hunted up his fellow bachelor.
Foster, was noticing your holly |
hooks yesterday"
''Yesg'
Mighty fine ones"
Good as the average guess"
II brought some one with me- It's
4 young lady-Miss Schemerhorn. my
cousin. She's very fond of hollyhocks.
but she's a little shy and stopped at
the gate. Go down and invite her to
come in"
But, 1-I-"' stammered the
farmer.
Go on. man! You certainly won't be
80 ungallant as to keep a young lady
waiting in the road?'
Mr.. Foster would rather have faced
A firing squad. but he went He bowed
and scraped and said it looked like rain.
and the old maid bowed and smiled
and said she hoped for a thunderstorm to
clear the air. and so the worst was over
with when they joined Stephen
Say, Foster. didn't 1 see some black
hollyhocks here yesterday
Never heard Of that color" he re-
Piled.
II was quite sure I saw them. Can
you raise the black ones?'
II don't think So"
IF you can you can get a reward OF
y 200. believe that If you mixed lamp
black with the seeds when sowing II
would give you black hollyhocks."
The farmer and Miss Sarah laughed
heartily at the idea. and thereby were