Semi-weekly herald., 1914-02-16

played at all times during the years
OF Republican supremacy lat This
point the speakers eyes sreL with
tears and his voice became chckciD il
makes me sick at heart. especially
when 1 think Of the juicy plums that
SHOULD belong to you-to you. nv
dearly beloved Democrats. To you
gentlemen, belongs the honor of vie
tory. and to you belong the plums
and"
IF we are responsible for victory
and are the real Denloci scy ~
we get some of the plums,' pipea
voice in the center of the audience.
"As | was saying" continued the
president, ~ have called you together
to celebrate the appointmenl of or
of our bullworks of Democracy .5
receiver of the Durango land districs
a gentleman who has"
Had office or beer running cor o.
flee or been running for office Il
past twenty-five years. broke in 4
DeiO neau Wltn melglOry.
81 wish my friends would no. in-
terrupt me-" said the president. 1T
is not good form and against the
rules of Democratic government TO
interrupt free born American citi-
zen. To resume. | feel that we have
been specially honored. At last one
of our number is to enjoy one of these
plums and feel that it is only fitting
that this splendid body of Democrats
go on record congratulatingV
At this point an egg with an odor-
ferrous smell struck the president on
his spottless, diamond-bedeekei shirt
front which brought about great con-
| fusion. There were cat yells and sew
eral said 'hit him again for ask
ing us to pass commendatory resold-
tons"
Pounding excitedly on the table, the
president said: 81 arise to point Of
order, or rather personal privilege.
| dare the man who tossed that ILL
smelling storage product to come up
on the platform for just one moment.
III learn him a thing or two. When
started out | addressed all of you
as friends and flower of Durango and
="
"You probably meant flour" yelled
man with squeaky voice.
"And | will have to retract this
statement unless the guilty person
steps forward. In fact, | demand of
this audience the surrended of the
man who was guilty of such breech
of etiquette. Why, the egg must have
come from Australia under the free
tariff act where it had been in storage
for the last ten years awaiting the
privilege of coming to America free
free, | repeat. 1t it's anything |
dote on it's having something free.
But | digress. AS the guilty party
is probably hiding with shamed head,
| will forget the matter and think
of it only as joke. To resume,
again: not only want this splendid
concourse of men to go on record as
heartily endorsing the action Of our
distinguished senator, Chas S. Thorn
but | want, yes, l demand, that each
and every member of this organiza-
tion get a torch and parade the streets
with appropriate banners and"
a Al
part of the president pandemonium
broke out all over the hall. At first
it was supposed the outbreak was
spontaneous endorsement of the
proposition of the presiding officer.
Men were clamoring to be heard and
in the turmoil another Australian egg
reached the stage along with decay
ed cabbage which luckily missed the
mark. Men faced each other with
arms frantically pounding the air
while others got on chairs demanding
to be heard. The president pounded
the table in vain. He appealed for
reason to prevail but his plea fell on
deaf ears. Some people passing
either a riot or fire was in prreress
and turned in an alarm Soon po-
licemen and the entire fire fighting
brigade was on the spot. They founl
the door unlocked. The fire chief
gave the order to turn on the water.
Just then the door was opened and a
man came out of the room.
Whats the trouble" excitedly ask
ed the marshall?
Where is the fire." demanded the
fire chief.
Keep cool boys, it's hot enough on
the inside. It's Democracy celebrat-
ing the first federal appointment for
this district and the enthusiasm has
become so great the the president has
adjourned the meeting until tomor-
row night by which time he hopes the
rank and file will regain their equlib-
rum and some of their sense. The
president says he cannot understand
the outburst but inciets ho l.. ..;,