The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-01-13

day. Il takes hard work 10 hold on
and never let go
You know. some people lives tor
nne looks. Looks count for nothing.
Every time they open their mouth
IT'S al on. They only care for = tine
appearance. IL you open their froat
door you are IN their back yard.
Counterfeit Character counts for
no more than counterfeit money. but
there's more OF II. I once read OF an
old woman who went into a tewelry
store 10 buy something. Every piece
the Jeweler handed her she put her
tongue TO IL and dicked Il. The Jewel
er asked her why she did Il. You
can't taste gold. you know be said
No. but l can taste brass she re-
piled.
When l was a boy / remember /
saw In a circus parade a tine. guided
wagon. There was nothing in the
wagon but a pig-a sign read that Il
was an educated pig. But the pig
squealed for slop. Just the same as
any other common pig.
The world Is full OF sham and ft's
no harder to detect than the pig
There are sham shows, sham prize
lights. sham dresses and sham char
acters. Why. IL some OF the women
would take the sham hair of their
heads they would look like a hum
ming bird In n rain storm.
some are continually changing.
colors. They dress in the finest az
silks. 20 TO the matinee, ride home in
a taxi and then borrow % cents from
the hired girl TO start the gas meter.
Iney are shammrng, but they trv
70 dress better and make n bigger
show than somebody else. It's ali
competition. It's ability and not NO.
bility that counts under the stars AMI
stripes. They remind me OF the old
orotner who got up in a revival meet.
ing and announced TO his brethren
mat he was still on the good old shIo
Zion. travelling toward heaven AZ the
rate OF forty miles per hour. Ano,h-
er old brother got ND and said ,bs,
ne was on the good old shin ZIon
travelling at the rate OF fifty miles an
hour. Just then n good old sister cot
up and said: 7 amt much ana =
can't go very fast. I'm only trude,,'
along the best I can. bu, n Won old
hypocrites don't watch out your shin
VIII bust her boilers and III heat
you TO heaven. yet
Ihose Kind OF people have too MANY
Queen ~ they are like some houses
style In the back '' N''is Ann
Something Different.
hememOer. sham battles dou't III,
and sham characters don't count sor,a
beople try TO make a living hut ,bo,,
non Try TO make a life. They don't nv
set on. L Is the builder and not the
buiidine that counts Don't Ve, $500.
cause ,Ss. some people get them be-
know. 81 Is better 20 DO picEe, 10Y, noa
49, ~ We front or the worlds conflict
da san 10 SIT around the campfres or the
oeti,; some people pretend their heads
are ~ 20 wear a crown OF glory wen
eo,l,t they need is moral nne-tooth
ia rather he a guide nos, than =.
Tombstone. The only real GOOD is 49,,
does everybody good. Some peopIe see
live an nun" y f. 'n o, preiudices. They
GROWERS. They say oh YES PETE -.
n great preacher, but he denied his I ord :
It Contradict i. sisls Is TS.E good book but
Is generous. but they say he gives II for
me- Ihey say. Yes, he's a good
htIey say; Yes, this IS fine day. but
'h!. weather won't last long
men You know there are people VINO
nave no opinions OF their own The,
nave one opinion at breakfast ana tbrea
~ supper. They hear n concert ~ TO-
t'r. ana " you ask them how they like
"a
paper to see what Is said about ~ II
tney read Republican paper tbev are
hepuohean; N they read n Democrats
democratic party; 81 they hear pro-
n ~ Zionist they are Prohibitionist: a.
ciotisty near Socialist thoy are So
S and the RESULTS that on election
o oIiy they stay az home and don't vote al
a preacher once remarked ,h.,,.
pended upon the time OF the vesr n ,a.
tain Fellow died whether or not he usnt
20 neAEen. When asked why. ne REPLIED
ing Tor dances and has 70 attend an
S SaInp meeting services TO get back in
Two persons once met nm ,ho &C.,.
IN, did you hear the news about lin >
asHtu one NO, what about him. in
ion ir pep ne ot ne WHY he's got relg-
III bet It's in his wlfe's name was the
SON, Some are like the political stunr
SPEAKER who concluded his speecb ~
saying: Those are my sentiments ,Dg
N you don't like them-weli. tbev 81,
he changed NY "a"
Showing off.
bIo1 Al thhey live for y 10 show off. They
nio" norm every time they give a dol
ar. They enjoy the sermon thar mall.
,h me sPpii pm ,s fly In the rev behind
the man they get as mad ne n 49,, ~
hare They think they know as ,nic,
- a college professor ought TO know a
49, ~. W+tAN INTO "A store and uetrfrI
TOT an invisible butter plate Anotbcr
woman went into book store and seI
ca. 10 you have HOmer's 'F,ve-lfd9'
Itta OF woman who entered "A buitdins
ana wanted TO know II she could IA.
UPSTAIRS on an Incubator 4 woman -
INTO railway station once and ssicJ
the tlcket agent. IS "a certain train icft
IN hkidoodle time. Speaking of "a nov
preacher at certain church one v-oc,,-
iold hnother; we got our new prearb,r
from a geological cemetery
Bless the Lord for the rfrht tfrH 81
reilglon- II taxes more religion to r,.ll.
a eyspepuc smile than ID does To- rr.Lo
healthy man shout. 70 like The cit
woman who was enjoying her nrst riIr
on a train About mile out fron, me
siation thcre was "a collision botvvc.or,
her train and another ana She v.4s rtot
out OF her seat across the aisle and rif..f
ihlp a corner. The conductor rushed fo
het. picked her up ana smoOthcd nor
,lothes. Are YOU hurtr he Inquir.d
GOODNESS. no. thought that WIS fbe
way YOU stopped oil the time She re-
piled. such people are always rcady
ior .n} thing. from cyclone 10 "a boot
"a jew met n friend. did YOU hear
about me getting tfe.0 900 out of 81.
wrcckF he asked. j drdn't know ,.t
were ~ the wreck said tho frIrrH q
atu Z but my wife was eHlI the rror
u know. but didn't think sHs ~.
hurL the other replied. she WASN'T
SAID the Jew, hut L had the ureaence 81
nina 10 Kick her ln the face rrF 49,