davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14
Globe Sights
BY THE ATCHIsON GLOBE

Some newspapers sound too many WARM
ings.
Side whiskers always remind one Of a
Quack doctor.
Most persons who keep diaries have
nothing to write about.
How a small boy hates to shake hands
with q minister!
To be interesting the average public
speaker juggles the truth a lot.
Jude johnson has sworn to SO many
things his right arm is always lame.
Many girls adorn a Photographic mount
ing better than they ever will q home.
Most human IDEALS like catalogue prices
are subject to change without notice.
Indigestion and divorces ara alike in
that they both may start in the kitchen.
This reporter feels that he would make
a poor prOdigal. as he doesn't like fatted
calf.
Many exceedingly small people are
whales when 1t comes to swallowing their
cOnsciences.
Tho ordinary Young Things conversa-
ton won't remind you Of anything in par
ticular.
Alb Adkins is such a Profound Thinker
that he sometimes neglects his work q
good deal.
Regardless Of the nature Of your trou-
bles. there is no excuse for using an axe
when you commit suicide.
Considering the work you have done in
your lifetime you should be independently
rich, but are you?
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14
By the Way
BY HARVEY PARSONS

When Friday and the 18th get to-
gsfher. the combination does not appeal
to the superstttious as q good thing.
But Thursday the 18th was the un-
lucky day for certain ''trimmers and
straddlera-" (No use. 1t can't be pro-
perly hissed.)
Mr.. Marconi has discovered a way to
light limp six miles away by Wire
less. But the lighting invention most
needed IL ono that will light the last
match without breaking on the head.
New York paper continues to ask II
Harry ThaW - q Menace? Mebby he
is, mebby he IL. He seems to be about
everything from an easy mark Tor law
yers to q mental ounce and q news
paper pest. Mebby he II also q menace.
It il now claimed that dasheen, a
new tuber, may 0upersede the loWly
spud Of commerce ~ food. And what
would the poor liter bug do then,
poor thing?
Another Kansas skunk farm has been
started. It appears that farmers want
a crop strong enough to survive late
springs and dry summers.
Bill White referred to tho dough col
1ected by subscription az hay for the
bull moose" Does he expect said hay
to produce beef?
This Is the day, providing the penny
store offers q display for judicious Sc
lection, when Little >, lille hands Dear
Teacher a hint as to his personal re-
CARDS.
kI.~A nh
to Major Iron-Jaw Brown on the
ground that he doesn't crease his hat
according to the latest dictates of fash
lon. should be reminded that q SINGLE
action .46 doesn't shoot any harder
when dressed In q pearl handle.
In reviewing the Bulln.oose banquet,
and telling what the speakers spoke
about, the inspired reporter observed
30 minutes, but he didn't do it inten-
tionally. Apologies are hcreby offered
by proxy.
Ol Little Of the Alma Enterprise re-
fers to E. E. Kelley as the "Old pea
cock Of the Toronto Republican. The
violent outburst ~ brought on by kel-
ley's announcement that he contempla-
ted buying a suit Of clothes. And this
bitter attack comes with poor grace
from Old Ql. who. as We remember It.
owned the first pair of silk socks ever
exhibited in Wabaunsee county.
The man who wanted SIS 900 for the
loss Of a big toe, must have had a
mighty big one. with no blemishes.
Jack Supp has one he will sell for much
less. but it will have to sell as Sec
ond grade." as It y spawned and has
two corns and an ingrowing nail.
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14

Martin experienced tho excitement OF
anticipation on the 14th OF February.
She would not admit to herself that she
felt disappointment when the mail
brought nothing but the morning paper,
and the doorbell remained eilent. 1t
was when she had lighted the lamps.
after = fruitless day, and the curtains
were safely drawn. that she opened her
desk and pieced together those torn
fragments OF his card.
Unexpectedly there came from her
peaceful kitchen . crash ana Q Uttfled
door lay James Frederick Randall in an
undignided heap.
please pardon my intrusion-it was
quite tnintentional" He attempted to
rise and sank back against the wall.
Lois gaxed at him in speechless as
t1nishment
II think I must trouble you to call
up my man; there's something the
matter with my ankle, I believe. I will
explain my unwarrantable presence in
your house. I'm not q valentine nor
was delivering one when slipped ON
that treacherous bit Of ice ON your
porch. intended leaving this letter
and getting away unn0ticed.
Il wished to assure you that you
may feel safe from intrusions in the
future: you needn't keep your curtains
down. or your front door locked or
or any OF the other things you have
done to get rid of me.
"Oh, I understood from the begin
ming that you wished for no inter-
course with me: that was what made
you so interesting. You were-difrerent
from most OF the women had met.
got a ripping story out Of your put
ting the curtain down on my side of
your house; and another about the rose
bushes, and the-all the things that
have transpired. Only. IN my stories,
invariably allowed my hero to over
come your prejudice and live happy
forever after"
You put me In your stories?"
You are a charming heroine. But
you need not worry, no one will rec
ognize you. And I promise never to
| repeat the offense. I'll have my hero
marry some pink and white school
girl"
"No-no!" The dignified Miss Mar
tin was on her knees on the kitchen
floor. her hands held out entreatingiy,
I can't endure it If he does that!"
Lois. you mean it?''
II wasn't certain until today. when
you didn't come, or send
But did come" he interrupted
Dearest. let me be a valentine, after
all; there never was one that expressed
more love and longing than 1 do. ]
can't tell you; I can't tell you!"
Never mind: I'll know how you
feel" smiled the lady. resignedly
when I see your next story."-(Copy-
right. 1914. by the Mcclure Newspaper
Syndicate).
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14

Experiments undertaken several months
ago to eliminate errors in the difference
in time between Paris and Washington
will be continued shortly by French and
American scientists, working together
throueh the Arlington wireless station
here and the EiIel Tower in Paris.
Prof. Eloi viennet. of the Observatory
of Paris. and Ensign p. Auverny. OF the
French navy, who have been experiment
ing from the Eiffel Tower. reached Wash
ington yesterday to relieve French ol-
ficers who have been on duty mere. Ine
experiments win begin as soon as Iour
scientists from the naval Observatory
here. Prof. F. b. K. Lttel. Lieut.. f. b.
Madison, and Ensigns II. E. Saunders
and r. A. Lavender. who are en- route
arrive in Paris. Assisting the French
scientists at the Arlington station will be
Astronomer George A. Hill, Lieuts: R b.
Cofman and C. W. Magruder. and Ensign
G. g. Gillespie, VINO are returning from
Paris, where they were engaged ON the
Eiffel Tower end Of the experiments
It II expected that the experiments VIII
be completed IN April. So minute arc the
calculations being made that the astro-
nomical instruments used are being ex-
changed. in order to correct such varia-
tions as may be due to mechanical! I'M
perfections. The signals exchanged be-
tween the Arlington and Paris stations
will be picked up by stations throughout
the United StAte8 and used to calculate
their longitudinal time with greater ac-
curacy.-Washington Post
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14
From Other Pens
THE PERN1c1ous DOOR KEY.

THE PERNICIOUS DOOR KEY.
A door key Is an Inconsistent If not
an altogether -senseless affair. It may
be alb right in itself. but it is often
used to lock doors. and a locked door
Is a very foolish thing. Some doors.
you may remark. lock themselves.
and a door key is necessary to unlock
them. That might be a reasonable ex-
cuse for the existence of the key. but
such a key, If it is not lost or on the
wrong side of the door, frequently
gets stuck and refuses to open the
door. II there were no door KEYS.
there would in all probability be no
locked doors. and that would be a
very enjoyable state Of society. With
the door locked and the key inside. II
is difficult for anybody except a bur-
glar to get inside. and, Of course, a
burglar is the only person we want
to keep out. Burglars can get in Just
as easily with the door locked as with
1t unlocked. but the rest of us are not
SO clever. You know yourself how it
is. You have carried ladders and
climbed into upstairs windows Or have
dropped through the basement win.
dows into the coal bin or have tried
to go through transoms and been res
cued by netghbors from an embar-
RAISING II not a dangerous position.
Everybody knows all about getting
into a house without a key. Some
~.-~-~~ SON Sc~AsaAO@ 6Cl III at all. one
morning woman followed her hus-
band to the front steps and the door
slammed and the night lock was on
ana the key was inside, and her hus-
band had caught the car. She was
canning pears and had put them on
the stove to cook while she was get
ting breakfast. They were still cook
ing and would soon be burning. Tho
baby was crying for his breakfast
She could not get in. None of the
neighbors could get in. Somebody
telephoned to her husband, and per-
haps It was not more than an
hour before he got home with
his key. An hour is a long time, and
the pears and the baby were In a
terrible state. It would have been bet
ter il there had been a burglar in the
house. He could have turned out
the gas and have fed the baby, and
he might have opened the door. A
good od-fashioned latch-string, al
ways out. would relieve us of so much
responsibility and would be so much
safer.-1ndfanapolis News
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14

Did the trained nurse take your tenn
perature? Yes, after the surgeons got
through with their charges. it was ali I
had left to take."-Baltimore Amerfcsn.
How arc you keeping your New Year
TesoiutionsT only made one, and I'm
keeping 1t fine-not to smoke cigarettes
curing the entire year." II didn't know
you smoked cigarettes?" II didn't
Houston Post.
Let me read you the beginning of my
manuscript The winds howled dismally
ana Just then q revolver barlked twice dis
tinctiy through the clear, biting air.
Hold on minute. II this going to be q
Mistress-''Bridget. the PIE IL awful. And
you told me you could bake rs good pies
es any cook in Boston" Br1dget-sSo I
can. mum. But all the ladies' I ever
WORKED Tor mixed the pies themselves be-
Iors baked 'em. mum."-BoSton Tran
Old Roxieish-''Mnry my daughter?
VIZ. VIZ. you are supported by your father
euitor-Yes. sir: but my guv'nor 10 tired
oi supporting me, he says. ana I thought
Transcript
Yes; I'm I'm 2 socialist..' what kind7"
esked Aiss Cayenne II don't quite un-
oefstan0F Are y0u the kind that dis
cusses Socialism over Z gfaso Of beer a.
at IN afternoon toass-WSG6anReon Sfs.s
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14

A man II a. happy - he thinks
he ia.
. .
Consistency may be . jewel but
moro properly speaking Il n un-
known.
.
Tho other fellows faults 70 easily
seen are usually reflections Of your
A desk equipped with pigeonholes
Is the best possible assistant for los
ing things effectively.
Gossip wouldn't be 30 hurtful II SO
much Of it were not the result Of
active imaginationa.
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
From the Chicago News.1

from the Chicago News.1
Even some impossibilities are possible,
It Is easy for . good man to make .
bad break.
More Of US would make good II our
neighbor would quit showing.
Love Is like the wind-no one knows
whence 1t comes or whittier 1t goes.
Babies can't say what they think while
cutting teeth. Lucky, isn't It?
Spinsters would have q better matri-
monial show II widows would keep out Of
the game.
Man wouldn't mind being awkward II he
could fall into good thing occasionally.
Children seldom realise how well on
they are until they grow up-and then the
circus parade has passed.
Occasionally woman is 50 contrary
that she Will not fall in love until she dis
covers that the fellow isn't worthy of her.
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14

IFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
The minute some fellows get loose they
get tight.
Watch the man who goes out Of his way
to put you in
Even the high-flyer sometimes has to
come down and take water.
Alcohol evaporates, In which respect It
greatly resembles liquid courage.
Don't accuse q man Of dumb luck who
has sense enough to keep his mouth shut.
can only prevent him from knowing it.
"A broken heart isn't all It II cracked
up to be- sighed the girl who had been
disappointed in love.
Blobbs-"Harduppe says the bill coll
lectors keep him busy" Slobbs-"Yes: the
ingenuity that fellow displays In dodging
c-editors would make his fortune In any
other line Of industry"
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14
THE GOVERNMENT CLERK.

Working for Uncle Fam, which at
first is vocation. oftentimes becomes
disease, and an incurable one.
writes r. NJ. Gates. in the National
Magazine for February. in the course
of an article on 1.-THE Other Side of
the Government job" The saddest
plant one ever hears in Washington
-sadder than the wall Of the rejected
office seekers the helpless and
hopeless government clerk lamenting
his unhappy lot. He realizes that he
is "in bad" and yearns for one more
chance to right himself. He is in the
net and cannot escape. He would like
to extricate himself, but that is i'm
possible. Perhaps his head has whit
ened and his hands have palsied in
the service, and his years Of steady
employment are unrepresented by a
dollar saved. His fate is sealed.
Gloomily he trods his weary way.
Perhaps he is a man yet capable of
throwing of his government harness
and hitching himself to something
better outside the cramping, grinding
world of clerical slavery under ofn-
cial tyranny. but he has a family and
cannot afford to take q chance. He
has certain fixed expenses, and his in
come must be uninterrupted. He has
not saved penny, because his salary.
which looked quite sufficient when he
was a single man, now is woefully in
adequate under the added strain Of
the obligations of a family. He could
fill satisfactorily most any position
| requiring clerical ability and expert
ence, but he cannot let go his govern
ment job to find something even
equally as remunerative. He Is
afraid to take the chance. Years ago
he might have quit the service to his
advantage. but he held on, hoping
that some day he would be advanced
to the head of a division or to a chief
clerkship, but he has dreamed dreams
that never came true. There never
was a chance for him to advance
higher than $1,000 a year. There
were hundreds Of others struggling
along with him and against him. SO
he has done well to keep his head
above water. Besides, he is not in
sympathy with the party In power,
and If he was he has been trudgink
in obscure path so long that he is
lost to helping congressional influ-
ence. He has been away from his
state, his district, his home SO long
that he has lost his identity. and his
congressman feels only a reminiscent
! interest in him. So into the scar and
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14
Kansas Comment
PROJECTING INVESTORS.


The '-blue sky law. which has been
in operation in Kansas for some time.
IS being adopted by other states, fol-
lowing its initiation In this state. Tho
latest state to adopt IL n Georgia.
where 1t went into operation the nrst
day Of this year. ID the few weeks
Of its operation there have been Is
applications to sen stocks rejected be-
cause the plans presented were deemed
unsatisfactory for safe Investment.
Practically all Of these applications, 1t
is stated. were from individuals who de-
sired to sell OIL gas and mining stocks
ON which the credulous public has been
80 often taken in. No good or le9iti-
mate stock 10 barred from sale, and
all the objections to the law come from
kiters and promoters and weakly sup
ported projects OF speculative profits.
Even Indifferent Wall street IL waking
up to a better protection Of the public
from unsafe securities. and ono opera
tor agrees that It IL just as important
to have pure securities az pure food
laws. Tho necessity for making Sc
curfties safer arises from the notorious
fact that Wall street has neglected that
important work and has too often pass
ed securities along to the investors
which almost Immediately turned out
badly. and for which outcome nobody
was legally responsible. Next to Kan
sas' prohibitory law. the blue sky law
saves many q man from utter ruin
Arkansas City News.
CIVILIZED WARFARE
The dispatches from Mexico have q very
CORY sound. as the execution Of prisoners
In Europe in the days OF Gustavus
hus 800 years ago. Nothing like the
summary execution Of Francisco Guzman.
just killed without any hearing by Gen.
Villa, as a conspirator against President
Madero. could have happened even as far
back in American history as the colonial
wars The proceedings in Mexico after a
battle sound very much like a butcher
snop. Stili: II the prisoners were paroled,
according to modern fashion. they would
soon be back with a stolen gun popping
away again for the same old cause. Going
back two or three centuries in Europe.
the refusal to extend quarter in the more
When men declined to surrender to su-
perior force. It was held they prolonged
slaughter. The sooner such last ditch
and orphans would be created. The for
NAL codes Of war and the daily practice
OF soldier life have lost much Of personal
v1ndictveness. Outposts swap coffee and
tobacco, and strict rules have to be made
to prevent their eating. drinking and play
ing cards together. Prisoners of war must
be treated as well as your own troops.
They can be made to work, but their
wages must be computed at the rates that
would be paid home soldiers. When re-
leased. such prisoners must receive these
wages. minus fair charges for mainten-
quite equal to the prhand slaughter OF
1 Mexico, still persist. Japan incurred
criticism in the war with Russia be-
cause high explosives were used in gren-
blowing or wholesale mems limbs, parts
OF the body or face. Today the English
| army has practically adopted the same
| eQuipment.-Winfield Courier.
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14
Eu ming Chat
By RUTH CAMERON.

Tho Meaning OF st. Valentines Day,
I have often wondered what was the
exact origin Of our celebration of st.
Valentines day, what st. Valentines
connection with it was, and why the
Information on this subject which US
ually appears in our magazines and
newspapers about this time of year is
always SO vague and unsatisfactory.
This year. for your sake and mine,
took the radical step Of looking the
matter up. and as my valentine to you,
let me tell you a few things about VAL
entine's Day.
In the first place. the reason no one
ever tells us clearly about the origin
of the celebration and why it is called
st. Valentines Day is that no one
knows.
There are two Valentines for whom
this honor has been claimed.
The first Is Saint Valentine, a pope of
the early church. He was a most holy
and austere man and was cast into Jail
for his faith during the Claudian perse-
cutions. While he was there he cured
the tailer's daughter Of blindness; SUBJ
sequently he was beaten with clubs,
then beheaded.
The other Valentine was a bishop.
The chief thing known about him was
that he choked to death on q fish bone.
For some reason people afflicted with
epilepsy pray to him.
Any possible reason why either one
Of these men should be chosen for the
patron saint of lovers no one has
been able to find out
The celebration itself probably comes
down. to us from the old Roman times,
for in the month of February festivals
were held to Juno and Pan, and one of
the customs was for the boys to draw
the names OF the girls from a bowl,
just as the young folks Of today some-
times do at their parties.
The Christian fathers disapproved of
this custom and tried to induce the
young men to draw the names Of saints
instead. The idea was that each young
man was to initiate the virtues Of the
saint whose name he drew. In con-
nectton with this custom, 1t is suppoe-
ed that Saint Valentine somehow got
mixed up with the day which now
bears his name.
There are many traditions connected
with the 18th of February One is
that 1t is the day on which birds
choose their mates. Hence the drawing
of names by the young men.
According to an old English custom
the man or maid who greeted a member
OF the opposite sex by being the first
to say. Good morrow. it's st. valen-
tines Day." could claim a gift.
Another idea was that the first wo-
man seen by a man on that day-and
vice versa-was to b. his valentine or
sweetheart.
OF course, the immortal Pepys has
some interesting little side lights to con-
tribute Valentine givers will be in
terested to know that this middle class
gentleman gave his valentine q dozen
pairs Of gloves and pair Of silk stock
fngs. Quite evidently the cost Of liv-
ing could not have been what It Is
now.
Again. he tells us how Will Bowyer
came to be his wife's valentine. "She
having lat which I made good sport
to MYSELF held her hands all the morn
ing. that she might not see the paint
ers that were at work gliding my Chin
ney piece and pictures in my dining
room.''
Doesn't that bring hundred years
ago close tn us3
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14

No wonder the Kansas Democrats
are sensible enough to harmonic their
personal differences. Because Of the
activities of the Progressives. their
chances of continuing in power are as
rosy as they could be. And they as
suredly would be candidates for the
foolish house II they tossed away these
golden opportunities through interne-
cine strife.
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14
Human welfare News.

Honolulu. Hawaii, has drafted a
comprehensive plan for city improve
out on the basis of the frontaRo-fax =
assessment system.
Four thousand Detroit school bovs
in the manual training department are
building bird houses which they win
enter In a contest for prizes this
spring.
The Utah Development league has
outlined q comprehensive campaign to
stimulate industries In the state and
has secured the aid Of the state uni
versity in occurring soil. resource aud
industrial surveyD to aasfst IN the
movement.
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14

Although this has been the best win
ter ever for the Kansas wheat crop it
will soon be time to worry about the
possibility Of not getting enough hands
to harvest it. In fact, there is always
material to keep the hoppers of the
WORRY mill we'll filled
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14

What will the colonel says when he
learns that such of his ardent dis
ciples as William Allen White, Henry
Allen and Victor Murdock have
framed a Progressive platform that
fails even to mention the recall Of
judicial decisions?
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14

And the prominent Kansans, with
designs on holding high public office,
who were hoping to be the harmony
candidates Of the reamalgamation of
the Republican and Progressive par
ties, are now 60 far out on the end of
the limb that they will soon fall into
the puddle of at least temporary
oblivion
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14

Since the Sphinx did not object to
the umpire's decisions the other day
when forty centuries looked down upon
a baseball game, 1t occurs to the Chris
tian Science Monitor that any doubters
may now be convinced that it's silence
Is no mere affectation.
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14

With the public health in a most sat
1sfactory condition. and improving all
the time there is no good reason why
the people generally should not become
happier. Good health is the first mile
stone on the road to happiness. But
the trouble is, too few people are aware
Of that important fact.
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14

One thing is certain. The members
of the Progressive party in Kansas
who are standing so valiantly by their
guns are worthy of the congratulations
OF all men who admire consistency.
Going into a fight or continuing in one
that is almost sure to be lost Is a dis
play of courage that is worth while.
The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-14

A Princeton university professor is
attracting the attention that he was
undoubtedly seeking. by declaring that
the Biblical accounts of the birth and
resurrection of Jesus are unconvincing
and may be best put to one side. But
the notoriety he has thus achieved will
not be of long standing