Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1914-06-20
D|CT|ON IS ORNATE BUT ONE ANSWER
Babu English in India Is Very
Amusing.
How Railway Man Uses Speech OF IN
vader-Ingratitude Of Mendicant
Whose Condition Induced
Sympathy Reported.

In India the Babu class OF railway
servant prides itself on its great hoIu
on the idioms of the English language,
and hence the following examples Oh
their efforts iii this direction, said by
an English writer to be as true aS
they are surprising.
II is a standing rule on railways III
India that all very unusual happen
ings are telegraphed to headquarters
The Interpretation OF the terms uh-
usual" and the discretion as TO the
importance of the event that taxes
place is so vague that generally every
thing is wired Stimulated by MS
nights rest, one man spread himself
thus in a telegram to his divisional
superintendent.
Coming on duty early in the morn
ing, clad in my new and white uni
form. | perceived a man seated on d
box in a naked and aggressive manner
Taking him to be an ordinary pas
senger, proceeded to slap MIN.
Whereupon he hastily arose, unlocked
the said box, clad himself In police
mans uniform t. ereOUt, and arrested
me. The shoe is thus situated on the
erroneous pedicle Please arrange.
Another man. who was wise in MS
generation. telegraphed to his superlh-
tendant. including the police onlcer
and all concerned, thus:
a In
cant arrived at my station by TWO
down mail Taking pity on his com
miserated condition. | permitted MIN
to reside in the shade of the main
signal post In gratitude for my De
neflcent conduct, he absconded durlns
the nocturnal period with 50ORs OF
my private cash. including one cop!
of the working time table.
When asked why he did the one
anna publication, the time table, II
his list of losses, he replied, with
knowing wriggle: "Ha. ha, the matte
is explainable in nutshell. Unless
I had included a little OF the com
pany's property the police would haV'
take no notice. This justifies the ad
dition of the lactaceous particle Il
the shell of the cocoanut!"
Another, overcome with grief on tn
death of his aged mother, photographed
sadly: 81 am profoundly moved I
announce to your honor that the age
hand that so far has rocked my cradl
has now kicked the bucket, Woetu
lamentation participates my breast
unable to work. Please arrange.
A traveller alighting at one of tn
stations asked how far certain shoe
ing ground was, and was astonishe
to get the reply: "Sir. ten miles
the cock crows"
It is customary in India for tn
government to allow in most offices
small sum to feed cats kept by tn
watchmen to destroy rats. This pra
tise was responsible for a telegral
from one Of the stations to this effect
Sad to relate, the senior cat ha
been absent two nights without lea'
on salutatory gambols. Have pr
NOTED Junior cat to perform duties
senior cat. 10, vhat = cataetronf
ts here" The worst Was. he kne
not he had pur"ed
When asked for his oniuion on II
difference betNen railway t-@'n.
ship and an aoroplane the r""'v wa
The difference is very ir+~"Si7e
for when the vehicles that compo
a train are by confederation of Ct
cumstances beyond the control of h
man aid precipitated into the commc
ditch-there you are! When the sh
saltating on the ambient waves
owing to the raging of the atmo
pherical surroundings, lost in a no
In the ocean-where are you? b
when the flying machine oscillatil
on the circumambient atmosphere
owing to various causes, precipitat
on to terra cotta-nowhere you are
In reply to the question in an
animation, What is a horse?" {
reply was: 1.-The horse is a mol
! animal with four legs situated on t
four corners, and a tail, but VIII
irritated he refuses to do So"