The Washington herald., 1914-05-18
Statesnsa, Real asd Mean.
By FRED c. KELLY.

By FRED c. KELLY.
II one had been standing At . good
vantage point IN one Of the Washington
parks on . certain afternoon. one might
have witnessed the odd spectacle OF q
large, dignined. cabinet oficer paustne
to swap conhdences with group OF
street urchins.
The boys and the cabinet of1cer chat
ted back and forth ~ man to man, with
out the slightest element Of patronising
from either side. and the talk was all
about experiences in learning to smoke.
-One lad In the group was endeavorins
to light and smoke q small piece OF an
old rattan buggy whip. This little en-
terprise attracted the attention Of Frank
lin X. Lane. Secretary of the Interior.
who was paasing.
That's exactly the way I learned to
smoke" exclaimed Lane. in introducing
himself.
TT doesn't draw very good" observed
the boy who was lighting up.
Hes Just learnin' to smoke" ex-
planned a slightly larger boy.
''Aw, I've smoked before. I've smoked
corn silk." declared the first boy.
Corn silkr' repeated Lane. with en-
thusiasm I'D plumb forgot about corn
silk cigarettes. reckon smoked a hun
dred or SO Of them. And did you ever
try making cigarettes Of dried grape
leaves?"
Only one of the boys had ever tried
that. and 20 he and Lane became par
ticularly intimate.
give you the yeller janders?' asked an
other boy. by way of obtaining authority
for a previous assertion.
well. have understood So" earnestly
replied Lane. though in my own case I
recall that ! smoked a great many with
out any noticeable III Effects
Thus the talk ran on for some minutes.
and the perfect democracy Of the con-
versation was something worth going to
see. Only once did the Cabinet officer
forsake his attitude Of being one of the
III tell you boys. now that you've had
the fun Of learning to smoke. I believe
you'll be better OF II you cut it OUT
A day or two after that some one en-
tered Lanes Office and offered him a
cigarette. Lane smokes a cigarette about
once a year. but he took 1t. lighted up.
learning to smoke. Then Secretary Will
son. Of the Department Of Labor. dropped
In. and Lane inquired as to the way he
had learned to smoke Wilson. too. had
acquired his first smoking experience with
corn silk.
Well" said Lane. with the air of one
who has finally disposed of a grave ques-
ton. Il guess 1t Is fairly safe to say that
fully twice as many men learned on corn
silk as on grape leaves and rattan COM
bined."
When the late William van Benthuysen
was managing editor of the Chicago
Tribune, two Of his younger reporters
were William Z. Lewis. now editor Of
the New York Telegraph, and E. B.
Clark. Washington correspondent for the
Chicago Evening Post. These two re-
porters were sent out together on a big
They covered the story satisfactorily.
but having disposed Of the task at hand.
they felt that they had earned a few
days recreation and did not return to the
office until the end of the week. When
they paused then TO reflect over the sit
uation they knew they would be fired,
for the managing editor was a strict dis
ciplinarian.
Let's go in and be fred together" sus-
gested Lewis
Clark thought that would be a spIen-
did idea. and so they approached the boss
as a duet and stood before him expec-
family.
The boss looked at them with no other
thought than to fire them. but they were
saved by the merest bit OF luck. Just
as he had II on his tongues end to dis
charge them. the boss thought of a good
joke-a joke based on his knowledge of
American history-and II is not easy to
discharge men Immediately after they
have laughed heartily at ones joke.
The bon mot that saved the reporters
was simply this:
after many days we hail the safe re-
turn of the Lewis and Clark expedition"
Henry ]. Allen is running for governor
Of Kansas on the Progressive ticket In
a way, ne Is a clandestine candidate
Henry owns one OF the papers in his
home town of Wichita and the other
paper belon gs to the family of Victor
Murdock As there is q bit of political
as well as newspaper rivalry between
Allen and Murdock. the Murdock paper
says little about Henry's race for COVER
nor And Henry declares that he will
not annoy his own subscribers with ar
ticles about his candidacy.
Thus you see." says Henry. the
homefolks have had no chance to find out
that I'm running for anything
Copyright. 1914 by Fred C. Kelly. All rights re-
seved-l