davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
CALOMEL WHEN BILIOUS? NO! STOP!
 ACTS LIKE DYNAMITE ON LIVER
Guarantee "Dodsons Liver Tone Will Give You the Best Liver and Bowel Cleansing You Ever HadDoesnt Make You Sck

Stop using calomel' It makes you sick Dent lose a days work. If you feel lazy, sluggish, bilious or consti- pated listen to me,
 Calomel is mercury or quicksilver which causes necrosis of the bones Calomel. when it comes into contact with sour bile crashes into it, breaking it up This Is when you feel that aw- full nausea and cramping. If you feel "all knocked out" if your liver is tor pid and bowels constipated or you have headache. dizziness coated tongue. if breath Is bad CT stomach sour just try a spoonful of harmless TOdsuns Liver Tone
 Here's my ruarantee-Go to any drug store or dealer and get 5a-cent bottle of Dodson s Liver Tone. Take a
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Ammunition Used In War.

How much ammunition does mod ern army use? We shall not know until after the war what the German and the allied forces have been eX- pending; but We know what the Ger mans used in lS10-i1. The total for rifles was 30.oO0, 00o cartridges. for field artillery 362. 0o0 rounds It is worth noting that battles are much less costly in ammunition than sieges. The siege of Strassburg alone cost. weight for weight. three times the amount of ammunition used in all the decisive battles and actions through out the whole war. Of course these figures are a mere bagatelle com pared with those of the present strug- gle. with It's millions of soldiers and Its quick k-fring guns and its weeklong Manchester Guardian.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
GRANDMA USED SAGE TEA
 TO DARkEN HER GRAY HAIR
She Made Up a Mixture of Sage Tea and Sulphur 10 Bring Back Color,
 Gloss, Thickness.

Almost everyone knows that Sage Tea and Sulphur. properly compound cd brings back the natural color and lustre 10 the hair when faded, streaked or gray; also ends dandruff. itching scalp and stops falling hair Years ago the only way to get this mixture was to make it at home. which Is mussy and troublesome Nowadays, by asking al any store for "Wyeth' 8 Sage and Sulphur Hair Remedy you will get large bottle of the famous old recipe fer about 5o cents
 Don't stay gray Try it No one can possibly tell that you darkened your hair. as it does 1t SO naturally and evenly You dampen sponge or soft brush with t and draw t,is through your hair, taking one small strand at time. hy morning the gray hair disappears. and after another ap- plication or two, your hair becomes beautifully dark. thick and glossy Adv.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
NOT TO BE CAUGHT MAPPING
Uncle Tobe Lived Up to His RePuta- ton and the Doctor Lost
 His Bet

There lives in a certain Vermont town quaint old character known as Uncle Tobe," who is so conserva- tive of action and speech that 1t is most difficult at times to get any thing definite from him. Uncle Tobe like the Father of His Country has the reputation of never having told lie, and in addition he is so cautious of statement that ne has never been known to tell an innocent untruth.
 On one occasion his doctor. i'll con yersation with friends touching Uncle Tobe S characteristics. ventured to lay a bet of five dollars that he could cause Uncle Tobe 10 tell what wasn't SO A neighbor promptly took the bet.
 The doctor walked into Uncle Tobe' $ house next morning and while he was talking With the old man. the neiehbor who had taken the bet drove up to the gate Uncle Tobe went Ia see wha. he wanted and then the doctor. as he had agreed to do. went out the back door and hid in the barn
 Good morning lobe. sad the wis itor, is the doctor iu your house.
 He was there when l came cut. said Uncle ToBe
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
INDIGESTION, GAS
 OR SICK STOMACH
Time it! Pape's Diapepsin ends all Stomach misery in five
 minutes.

Do some foods you eat hit back taste good, but work badly; ferment into stubborn Jumps and cause a sick, sour, gassy stomach? Now. MT. or Mrs. Dyspeptie. jot this down: Pape's Diapepsin digests everything, leaving nothing to sour and upset you. There never was anything so safely quick. so certainly effective. No difference how badly your stomach is disordered you will get happy relief in five minutes, but what pleases you most Is that II strengthens and regulates your stom- ach so you can eat your favorite foods without fear.
 You feel different as soon IS Tapes Diapepsin" comes in contact With the stomaeh-distress just yanishes-your stomach gets sweet. no gases. no belch- ing, no eructations of undigested food.
 Go now, make the best investment you ever made by getting q large fifty cent case of Pape's Diapepsin from any store. You realize in five minutes how needless 1t Is to suffer from indiges- tion dyspepsia or bad stomach. Adv.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Ills Frame of Mind.

The horse had run away and was tangled up in the wire fence at the side Of the muddy road It's half.wit ted owner had kicked and sworn and tried to lift the animal until he was out of sorts and covered with mud
 A weIlgroomed man came along. took in the situation. and suggested Spring the fence back. then he can get his feet free"
 The owner Of the horse did as he was told New give him cut with the whip and he'll get up himself
 This the owner did. Then he looked at the horse up and ready for travel looked at himself covered with mud and looked at tNa immaculate gentle man in the road. Wrath filled his soul
 Well he erumbled, thank you just as much as if you'd helped me "
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
BILIOUS, HEADACHY,
 SICK "CASCARETS"
Gently cleanse your liver and sluggish bowels while
 you sleep.
Get a 10-cent box.

Sick headache, biliousness. dizzi- ness, coated tongue, foul taste and foul breath-always trace them to torpid liver; delayed. fermenting food il the bowels or sour, gassy stomach
 Poisonous matter clogged in the in- testines. instead of being cast out of the system Is re-absorbed into the blood. When this poison reaches the delicate brain tissue 1t causes con- gestion and that dull, throbbing, sick ening headache.
 Cascarets immediately cleanse the stomach, remove the sour. undigested food and foul gases. take the excess bile from the liver and carry out all the constipated waste matter and poisons fin the bowels.
 A CasCaret tonight will surely 0traighten you out by morning. They work while you sleep-a 10-cent box from your druggist means your head clear. stomach sweet and your liver and bowels regular for months. Adv.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
TAKE SALTS TO FLUSH
 KIDNEYS IF BACK HURTS
Says Too Much Meat Forms Uric Acid Which Clogs the Kidneys and
 lrritates the Bladder

Most folks forget that the kidneys, like the bowels. set sluggish and clog Ged and need a flushing occasionally else We have backaehe and dull misery 1n the kidney region, severe head aches. rheumatic tWlnses. torpid liver. acid stomach, sleeplessness and all sorts of bladder disorders.
 You simply must keep your kidneys active and clean. and the moment you feel an ache or pain in the kidney region. get about four ounces of lad Salts from any good drug store here. take q tablespoonful in a glass of water before breakfast for few days and your kidneys will then act fine, This famous salts Is made from the acid of grapes and lemon juice. com. bined with lithia. and Is harmless to 6ush clogged kidneys and stimulate them to normal activity It also neu- tralizes the acids in the urine so 1t no longer irritates, thus ending blad. der disorders.
 lad Salts Is harmless; inexpensive; {; makes a delightful effervescent lithia- water drink which everybody should take now and then 10 keep their kid neys clean. thus avoiding serious com. plications.
 A well.known local druggist says he sells lots of lad Salts 10 folks who be- lieve in overcoming kidney trouble while 1t Is only trouble Adv.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Strange Scorpion Found.

A curious. strange specimen Of liz ard or scorpion was captured by Wal . ter l. Todd near the trolley station of the Chamhersburg. Greencastle X Wayneshoro Street Railway company at Hlghheld. Pa. The reptile. or what not. Was about eight inches in length and the color of brick dust l. was found lying on the ground only few feet from the station and on account of the rain and cool weather, was un- able 10 use lis locomotive powers very actively and Ms easily captured
 The reptile had an elongated body without scales four short lngs and short tall. and its body was almost as tough as rubber. Where it came from no one seems to know
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
PROPER CARE OF THE HORSE
Lost by Overfeedins-Many Colds May Be Prevented.

A Pennsylvania man had a fine young horse die from nothing in the world but overlooking when not in work. If he had cut the ration down to one-half while the animal was standing in the stable idle, 1t would not have had azoturia, a disease that is almost always fatal.
 When your horses take cold. few drops of oil of tar dropped into the feed will do a lot of good.
 When you put the horse in the sta ble. wet from hard work or driving on the road. rub down first with dry straw. then put on light blanket. later following with heavier one. A horse cared for that way will rare ly take cold
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
MR. BUSBY AS A HUMORlST
or Course lt Doesn't Often Happen, But on This Occasion He
 Failed 10 Score.

Husby-I see tn Turks have been Kicking up th sand around the suez canal
 Mrs B Cainuy interested Some religious ceremony
 Busby- No-o-o! It's war They're fighting The report from Berlin says they've licked tn British army to a frazzle. It looks as f the canal would fall into tn Turks hands.
 Mrs B. Ccalmly)-I can't see what good t would do them
 Busby leading up to his climaD- Why. they'd loot It.
 Mrs B. Gnnocently1-0f what2
 Busby ttriumphantly)-0 the hard ware They'd take the locks. of course Ha. la. ha,
 A brief silence ensues.
 Mrs Busty Csweetly1-Rut there are To locks In the Suez canal.
 And it wasn't any consolation to Rusby to remember that he had no one but himself to blame
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
HERE IS A GOOD WAY
 TO GET RID OF PlMPlES

Bathe your face for several minutes with resinol soap and hot water, then apply little resinol ointment very gently Let this stay on ten minutes, and wash of with resinol soap and more hot water finishing with dash Of cold water to close the pores. Do this once or twice a day. and you will be astonished to find how quickly the healing. antiseptic resinol medication soothes and cIeanses the pores. re moves pimples and blackheads, and leaves the complexion clear and vel vety. All druggists sell resinol soap and resinol oiutmeut-Adv
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
NECESSITIES FOR THE HOGS
Water Troushs Should Be Arranged So That They Can Be Emptied
 Quickly and Then Cleaned.
cBy K. c. wEATHERsToNE3

CBy K c. WEATHERSTONED
 Hog troughs should be arranged so that they can be quickly and thor oughly cleaned and all feed left over removed.
 It is a good practice to have the water troughs made so they can be emptied as soon as the hogs have drunk their fill. as this prevents troughs from becoming filthy by the hogs walking and roofing in them.
 Hogs need a moderate amount of salt but if it is placed in large quan- titles where they can reach it at all times occasionally they will eat more than is good for them.
 Never send hog hungry to bed any more than you would boy A heavy feed at night will help to keep up the heat
 After experience with both perma- nent hog houses, and small portable shelters that can be readily moved from place to place. the writer con- sders the small colony house much superior. so far as maintaining the health of the swine Is concerned. and they are also less expensive.
 Whichever type of house is used, it should have a good floor that can be easily cleaned and disinfected. In dry weather a dirt floor becomes worked up into fine dust that is injurious to pigs when inhaled; in wet weather it is difficult to keep the bed dry
 Bedding for swine should be seant, but of good quality. Forest leaves or corn husks make excellent bedding. Straw soon becomes ground into a dust that is irritating to the lungs and makes the pigs cough. When infected with germs it Is liable to cause chronic pneumonia.
 All hog houses should be kept clean: they should be thoroughly disinfeeted every two or three months and q coat Of disiufecting whitewash applied
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31

spoonful and If 1t doesn't straighten you right up and make you feel fine and vigorous I want you to go back to the store and get your money. bod. sons Liver Tone is destroying the sale of Calomel because 1t Is real liver medicine; entirely vegetable, therefore 1t cannot saliyate or make you sick.
 l guarantee that one spoonful of Dodson's Liver Tone will put your sluggish liver to work and clean your bowels of that sour bile and consti- pated waste which Is clogging your system and making you feel miserable. l guarantee that a bottle of Dodson's Liver Tone will keep your entire fam fly feeling fine for months Give 1t to your children. It is harmless; doesn't gripe and they like it's pleasant taste.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Hinged Watering Trough.

of a plug or valve was unsatisfactory on account Of the freezing up of the parts, set out to devise some other means and the result was the hinged construction shown in the sketch. writes Thos. l.. Parker Of Wibaux, Mont. in Popular Mechanics. For this purpose the trough was mounted on crosspieces in the usual manner and hinges were placed al one side so that the trough could be tipped upon it's side to drain. A small handle may be nailed at the end of the trough 10 make the tipping easier.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Not a MlsdenNc anor.

Colonel Carter had been playing golf for but three months, Therefore. when the secretary of the club saw the colo nel playing his ball several feet in front of the tee disks during tourna, ment he thought the veteran soldier had forgotten the rules.
 "Colonell Colonel" he exclaimed, "you must play from behind the tee disks"
 The colonel's face turned red but he preserved his dignity.
 It's none of your business sah, he answered as calmly us possible, but this is my third stroke, ,"-Collier' 8 Weekly
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Somethlnq h This Name.

In New York a teacher found that little negro girl was named Fertihz. er Johnson
 Are you sure that Fertilizer Is your right name9 she asked
 Yes maam." replied the little girl. We'll tell your mother to come here said the teacher
 The mother came the next day
 Yes. Fertilizer is right she said You see. named her after her father and mother both Her fathers name Is Ferdinand and my name Is Liza. so We called her Fertilizer"
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Wasted Dress.

Clarence pld you vead that the deuced dyes they use Co color clothing will no longer be obtainable because of the horrid wah9
 Reggie Dear. dear Whats fellow to do9 Dwess in black
 Clarencc-lf We are to dwess in black shall feel almost sorry mothah didn't Insist upon making me a clergy man. don't you know Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
No Hurry.

Do you believe in long engage ments 29 he asked, after she had con scented Ca he his
 Yes dearest" she replied "I have always thought it was such mistake for two people to rush into matr.mony before they learned 10 really know each other
 Well about how long would you wish the engagement 10 be-
 Let me see Would you think it was too long If We didn't get married until a week from next Thursday ."
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Wonders Of Science.

A French scientist says that the bill lions of cubic feet Of heated gas that have been shot into the upper air since the first Of August have been displaced by cold air from the north pole thus causing the early freeze along the battle line On the same theory 1t may be that the safe and sane Fourth of July crusade was to blame for our hot summer
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Quiet LouVain.

had a look at the now much-talked- of LouFaiu, quite pretty old place with is magnificent hotel de vile crowded in ty the impressive church ill the center of the town. and its in numerahle other old gray churches with long slopuE roofs-the place a perfect nest ef nuns and friars The streets were lined with the high walls and closed windows of convent after convent, and huge clusters of monas teries were on the hills about the town many were newly built and modern and the town was seething with black-robed priests and brown bare footed monks and coped nuns. This was the great Roman Catholic center. where some of the monastC orders have their chief establishments The library of the university. so ruthlessly destroyed. contained a priceless col lection of church documents A Glimpse of Belgium Before the War. Isabel Anderson. in National Maga zine.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
She Rememb bcred.

Mamma said little Lauretta, Aunt Mary is getting awfully fat, isn't she"
 Tt isn't polite to say fat dear. You should say stout" rejoined her moth CT.
 At dinner that evening when she was asked what kind of meat she would like, Lauretta replied "A lit tie of the lean and little of the stout. please
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
SeIectino Sows for Breeding.

Every SOW selected for breeding purposes should be docle. An irri- table. nervous animal will prove un- satisfactory for breeding Young pigs do not always betray this peculiarity, even though they possess it in high degree. hence the character of the mother should be noted in this respect.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Charcoal Is Valuable Adjunct.

Charcoal is a very safe and valuable adjunct to your feeding variety. A little of it goes long way. but that little tends to keep everything in health. If the coal is hard 10 obtain burn some corn, and feed that while 1t is fresh at least twice a week and 1t will be of benefit to all partakers.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Mark of 100 for "sammH." :"

Sammy" April. the small boy who supplies President Wilson with news- papers. called on Secretary Tumulty and asked him what he thought of Mr. Wilson's message to congress. Mr. Tumuty Immediately launched into a iaudatory discussion of the sub- jeet When he had talked few min- utes he paused and asked. But why do you ask sammy? ,"
 T have to write a composition on t in school tomorrow replied the boy. and thought l would come to headquarters for the information"
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Few Survivors Left.

T wonder why there are so many more borrowers than lenders In this world? ?e
 The explanation is most simple, my dear fellow. Fully 90 per cent are born borrowers and always remain such. and the few who start fin as lend CTS are soon driven into the other elass'
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Not Ready.

Put on your helmet an your red shirt. SIlas there's a big fire down the road a piece.
 "Shucks, cant go My shirts in the washtub an the old woman s out In the garden tillin' my helmet with a mess of beans Birmingham Age Herald
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
No Failure Is Final.

One of Napoleons marshal is said to have approached him on the battle field and exclaimed:
 General. fear that the battle Is lost"
 Napoleon coolly looked at his watch and replied:
 Time for another battle. summon the army to fresh charge
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Aceounted For.

How do you like my new fence?" I'd like 1t better if the pickets were an equal. distance apart. Whats the idea of building IL like that?"
 The only man I could get to build 1t suffered
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
AMaitlnn the Outcome.

The folks at our hotel are greatly interested in problem
 What is it?"
 An Irresistible blonde has just met an immovable bachelor '3I Judge
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
IL Depends.

Don't you like girl of cheer ful disposition9 One who always goes singing about her work?''
 No, that Is the reason We moved from our last flat
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
COLDS & uaGRIPPE

5or doses 666 will break any case of Chills & Fever. Colds X LaGrippe; IL acts on the liver better than Calo- mel and does not gripe or sicken- Price 25c-Ady.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
She Kept Her Vow.

Gladys vowed she would never live to be gray-haired.
 "She has kept her oath. found her h a dyeing condition.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
True to Type.

The Customer-These grand opera phonograph records are no good cant get anything out Of half Of them.
 The Salesman-They are our finest achievement. You never can tell when these records will sing They're so temperamental al-London Opinion,
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
T he Rank.

They took that junior officer of the ship to command the torpedo boat"
 T guess that was because he was a sub marine
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
lns and Outs.

Smith Is on the outs with our club. "Well?"
 "So he's got 1t Tn for us"
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
A Gentle Hint.

He-Once for all. demand to know who Is master of this house?
 She-Youll be happier if you don't find out.-Philadelph Ledger.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Substitution.

Deacon Jones Do you keep the Sabbath sir
 Druggist Blinks No. no, sir, but l have something just as good
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31

The cheapest literature is the Con- gressional Record: they are turning it out now by the cord
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31

Most particular women use Red Cross Ball Rue American made Sure to please. At all eood groeers. Adv.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31

A married woman says that the per fectly devoted husbands have their habitat in books
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31

The optimist rejoices that the world Is full of sunshine. So does the avn ing maker.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Its Kind.

What's call money"
 What you pay telephone bills with Baltimore American.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
When Talk Beqins.

Hostess-People are very dull to. night really can't get them to talk. Host-Play something, dearest.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31

You can always tell a good friend from the fact that he generally keeps his opinions to himself
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31

Many a school boys life is made miserable by trying to learn the multi plication table,
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Not at All.

I've noticed one thing"
 And what is that?"
 "No matter how often tough citi- zen gets stewed, it doesn't seem to make him tender"
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Ioportapt to motners
The Shocks of Football.

How rough this sport of football is, What shocks of irresistible bod ies'"
 "Humph What shocks of irresisti- ble hair"
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31

YOUR OWN DRUGGIST WILL TELL YOU Try Murine Rye Remedy for Red. Weah, watery Eyes and Granulated Hyelids; No sms rtlng- just Eye comfort. Write for Book of the Rye by mail Free. Murine Eye Remedy Co.,, Chicago.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31

One way to sidetrack bad luck Is to be prepared for it.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
Physical Objections,

Let me take you apart"
 You cant. I'm all broken up as It
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31

A man would rather have fortune Smile on him than give him the laAgh.
The Dermott news., 1914-12-31
CONVENIENT FOR LIVE STOCK
Watering Trough Mounted on Cross. pieces So That 1t Gan Be Tipped
 Upon Its Side to Drain.

As the usual method Of draining q watering trough for horses by means