United labor bulletin., 1914-05-23
THE OPTIMISTIC
PHILOSOPHER

certain prominent member OF Car
penters' Union No. 50, who shall go un-
named in this story out of consideration
for his respectable family connections,
has been the victim of scme great josh
ing by his fellow members the past
week. This follower of a C, ling made
noble by the Nazarene, is a devout
Methodist, and some time since when he
moved into the neighborhood of Asbury
NJ. L. church on West Twenty ninth
avenue, became affiliated with that
place of worship. Seeking to make him
self solid with the pastor, he selected
two of his fattest chickens and present
ed them to the preacher, who is none
other than the Rev. II. NJ. Pingree, a
chaplain in General Chase's army who
a few days ago delivered sermonette
at the Brown Palace to a gathering of
"Woman's Law and Order League" in
which he not only approved shooting
workingmeh into subjection, but com,
planned that he was not prepared with
dynamite while on praying duty n the
war zone to help the Hamrocks and Lin
derfelts in the work of determination.
The chicken story gained circulation
soon after this dynamite sermon, and
now the carpenter insists that he will
take withdrawal card from Rev. Pin
gree's church and deposit it with the
Pillar of Fire sect that holds forth on
Champa street.
One OF the ten million dollars Henry
Ford is this year divvying with his thou
sands of employees came rolling into The
Bulletin office the other day and found
lod2ment in the proper receptacle. John
J. Mcguire, who is now employed at the
Ford automobile assembly plant in this
city, brought the dollar to pay his sub
scription. OF course John would have
paid up anyway, for he is n strong ad-
vocate of The Bulletin. and declares it
to be the greatest family labor paper
printed anywhere ON earth, but the fact
that he is now receiving S5 per day
where formerly he got $3.50 made the
obligation much easier to meet. Mcguire
was at one time city park laborer and
when the United Laborers of Denver
were organized he was chosen the first
president. His genial Celtic nature made
him friends with all who came his way.
so that when he applied for the job OF
gate watehman at the Ford plant here,
all other competitors dropped out OF the
running. A gate watchman's task is not
a hard one, even at the Ford plant, and
John holds it down with all the dignity
that necessarily goes with a regular $50
per week job OF eight hours daily.
{. :.
Once more it is announced as pre-
cious privilege to live in Colorado. The
United States census report on mortal
ity statistics for principal cities, made
public this week. shows that notwith-
standing the fact that Denver * ma
tional sanitarium for ''lungers," the per-
centage OF deaths here is only 1871 To
every 900 population, while the average
for the nation is AL. BY this source
of reasoning there would seem TO be
good chances for a person in good health
extending his presence on the upper side
OF this mundane sphere for long period.
unless he should come in contact with
one OF Mr.. Rockcfeller's gtinmen. Seat
tie is the healthiest city in the United
States, perhaps because the people there
are climbing up and down hill all the
time they are not in bed asleep. There
the death rate is only 81, while Mem
phis, Tenn. tops the list with rate Of
POS. But who wants TO 90 to Memphis
so long as Denver remains Oh the mapf
Denver bankers are refusing To be
made repositories OF $685. in n lump
sum that might be made TO work up in
terest for several months. Rather an
analogous proposition. to be sure. but
there's well reasoned out answer. The
s25,O0O is the minimum price set by
Billy Sunday for coming here to drive
ont Deacon Rum. Therefore when the
Billy Sunday committee set ont in great
glee to pick u banker to act as treas
urer and hold the fat wad. not single
banker would consent to hold down the
job. The bankers don't want to get
mixed up in the campaign for state
wide prohibition. Rev. Perry Jenness,
chairman of the committe. stated that so
far no one had consented to act as
treasurer. notwithstanding there are n
few bankers in town who belong 20
church. The o. =. suggests either Harry
Parker or Frank A. Bryan in ease the
position is not filled by the time this
idea is properly circulated Though
Bulletin readers.
Upton Sinclair. the man who put the
government pure food stamp on Chicago
packing house products, now in Denver
TO smoke out Rockefeller methods. has
been having the time of his life poking
the Ammons machine in tender spots.
He has called Ammons n liar in I'M
abridged English and says if he cannot
prove it to the governors own salts
faction he will leave the state and never
return. Up to this writing the cbal-
lenge has not been accepted. while the
"Junglev writer continues TO remain and
make copy for the book he is going TO
produce on "Colorado's Colossal Crime 3"
1t is better than going to n Smashing
the Vice Trust" movie to visit the state
capitol any day and see the governor
trying to dodge the 'itinerant invcsti-
gators,v as he designatcs the score or
more Eastern scribes and war CORE
spondents who are camping on his trail
the states shameful prostitution by the
corporations.