The Topeka state journal., 1914-02-21
ChOked!
That's What nappsnd to SnIde
Petershy During Church SsF-
vlses!---Snide Still Alive to
Tell the Tale!

Snide Petershy, one of our most re-
speckted citizens of Bingville, had
tufrible experients last Sabbath morn
inG, the recolleckshion of which will
forever remain green in his memrySwe
persoom, being as Snide for few min
nits. or less time perhaps. was linger-
ing on the threshold of deth's door. as
you might say.
Last Satterday Snide's wife give him
4 turible dressin down cur he haddent
months. She told Snide that he ort to
be ashamed of hisself, and we call<ilate
that BY the time she got through with
him he was. As a result of what his
wife said to him Snide made mp his
mind that he would &c to church the
fol1ering morning or bust.
A. Z rule Snide lays late Sabbath
morning. Snide's wife called him at 8
o'clock, but he went to sleep agin and
diddent git outen bed until she throwd
a wash basin full of cold worter on him
hour later, whereupon Snide bounced
right outen bed.
Being as he had to start with his
wife for the church at 10 he only had
= hour to shave his Ease B dress and
git breakfast, so he was obliged to hur-
~ like everything Snide while shaving
as quick as possible had the edge of the
razor to nick the lower porshion of his
left ear until it bled like everything.
Snide says that he calkilates if the razor
had been as sharp as ushua1 it would Of
took off his ear!
Snide diddent have time to snatch
moren . bite of breakfast, but jest as
he left the house he slipped three or
$ass 0A14 -
dishpan on the setting room table, where
they had been ever sinst the night be-
fore, into his pockets, thinking that he
would eat same on the sly during the
sermon.
When Sary Jane (that Snide's wife's
name) and Snide reached the church
Snide told Sary Jane that he guessed
he'd take seat over in the amen corner
with the Deacons where it was more
private so he done 80 and after Rev
Moore our beloved paster had got under
way with his sermon Snide snuk one of
the Balwins outen his pocket and begin
to munich on It on the sly.
Bye and bye Snide had ct all Of the
appel exsept the core and being as Snide
10 very economical he allus eats the
cores of his appels also SO he tried to
swaller the core of this Baldwin but
sAA~ OsoAAA~0 WV OSu~A A48ht Az AAAo
throat
Snide gu1ped and gulped couple Of
times then he stood up in his seat with
his eyes bugged out and begin to make
a gurglin noise like a. if he desired to
say somethink important but couldn't
He then begin to git black in the fase
and seemed to be suffering much pain.
Rev Moore stopped right in the mid
die of his sermon and the entire con-
gregashion gased at Snide in constefna-
shion. "What Is the matter with our
beloved Brother Petersby?" says Rev.
Moore. "He has went and eholked on
= appel corer says Deacon Butterworth
who set next to Snide and had saw the
whole performance.
! Soon a. Rev. Moore learnt this he
left the pulpit and hurried down to
| Snide who he begin to hit in the back
right betwixt the shoulder blades as
hard as he could wallop. Rev Moore
hit Snide the third time when all of .
suddint the appel core which Snide
had eholred on flew outen his mouth
and haf way acrost the church strix-
ing Granny PEBBLES on the ear and
walking her up awful suddint outen a
sound sleep.
! Rev. Moore however diddent know