The Washington herald., 1914-08-02

Abner Jones was goin' out Of hogs and
goin' into politics, and thar was a good
deal of talk. Some folks argyed that
because he'd done fairly well in hogs
he'd git along all right as a politician,
but Deacon Spooner was one Of the
doubtful ones.
1T don't foller.'' says he, land you
can't make II foller. and unless Abner
has got a platform above hogs he'll never
arouse enthusiasm Of Jericho"
The next evenin' brung its crowd to the
postoffice, and l was glad to see that
Abner's face wore a smile of confidence.
1t was ginerally understood that he and
Lish Billings wanted the same Office, and
II was felt that this evenin' would decide
things. Thar was some scatterin talk
about 'tater bugs and hog cholera, the
price of calf skins and then Enos John
son speaks up and says:
II think I'm right in sayin' that the
patriots assembled here this evenin' hev
the best interests of these United States
at heart. think I am, but I'm willIn'
to stand correct
''Enos. you're dead right and have made
a strong pint" says Deacon Spooner. as
he whacks his cane agin a cracker barL
And, hevin' the best interests of the
United States at heart" continues Enos
'it behooves US to go a leetle slow about
out next constable and see that he is a
fttin' representative Of the great and
glorious principles which hev made
America shinin' example before the
world. On behalf of my feIlow-patriots
Of Jericho I asks Abner Jones whar' he
stands on the question OF free trade. He
needn't fall over hisself in his hurry to
answer. but when it comes We want II
plain
II amt standin' on the question TALL"
answers Abner after a mint
I'VE druther you'd be on one side or
tother," continues Enos, but mebbe that
won't make so much difference. I've un-
derstood that Thomas Jefferson never
could make up his mind as between
pumpkin pies and strawberry shortcake,
and so We won't press you. How about
trusts, Abner? That's one of the issues
of the campaign and We want to know
how you stand"
Same as on free trade" replies Abner
neither fur nor agin EN-"
But you've got to be one way or
t'other, same as a man who sees a dos
fight"
That's a pint. Enos-a strong pint
says the deacon as he hits the stovepipe
with his cane. Nobody ever sees a
dogfight without takin' sides
But I amt standin'," protests Abner,
not a bit put out at the looks Of surprise
around him.
'Mebbe We might dodge around that.
too," says Enos. but we've sartainly got
to know whar you stand on the silver
question. It's what they terms of vital
interest-that is. the vitals OF the United
States are at stake-And you can't do
no foolin' when that's the case. Jericho
rises up on her hind legs, Abner, and
asks whar you stand. It may be that
the fate OF a nation depends upon your
answer"
Il amt standin'." replies Abner as
cool as can be.
But hain't you got no guidin' princi-
pies, no party platform? Hain't you fur
sunthin' or ag'in sunthin'?
Yes. I'm fur sunthin.' I'm standin'
pat on my great-grandfather."
But that's no pint" shouts the
deacon Why, by jinGo, II George
Washington had stood pat on his great
grandfather he'd never hev bin heard
of"
And what about your great-grand-
father" asked Enos in a keerful way
He died at Bunker HILL" says Abner.
Yes, sir. he poured out his blood right
then and thar, that he might be tree and
America might be what she il. and I'm
standiR' pat on his record
Then 1t is a pint" yells the deacon
as he tunks on the floor with his cane.
1T surely is a pint! By jingo, Abner.
you kin go before the patriocs CT Jericho
on that record and win every time"'
There was a good deal OF enthusiasm
around. and it looks as II the case was
settled fur good and ell when Enos mo-
tions fur silence and says:
We've got to hear from Lish Billings
yet. He's bin chawin' dried apples and
sayin' nuthin,' but we'd like to hear from
him. Will he tell this assemblage whar
he stands?'
I'm also standin' pat" says Lish after
a while.
''Standin' pat on what?"
'On my great-grandfather."
And what did he do?''
Fit and poured out the blood same as
Abner's."
Was it at Bunker HIP"
'Noap; 1t was at Lexington, and as
Lexington was fit on the Sth of April
and Bunker Hill on the nth of June, I
am just two months ahead of the life
blood bizness. and asks the crowd of
patriots to stand by me-"
It's a p'int"' yells the deacon, as he |
waves his cane around and knocks of
three or four hats. It's a pint, and a
strong pint, and, by jingo. IL Lish Bill |
ings amt our next constable!"
l feel sorry for Abner-I know he lays
it up agin me-but how could I tell that
Lish Billings would also stand pat and |
beat him by two months!
OLD PAP PINKHAM