New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-12-06


me what topic YOU choose.
Glider was seated between John La Fargo
the painter, and Augustus Saint-Gaudens
the sculptor. and he held a whispered con-
sultation with them for moment.
Then he raised his voice and said, Mr..
Clemens, we'd ike to hear from You on the
subject Of portrait painting
When the laughter had died down Mark
began with solemn seriousness:
PORTRAIT painting, That's a good sub
icCt on which TO make a speech a very good
subject indeed. Portrait painting is an
ancient and honorable art; and there are
great many interesting things 10 be SAID
about II. Yes, its an honorable and an
ancient although ! don't really know
how ancient il is. | never heard that Adam
ever sat for his portrait, but maybe he did.
Maybe ne did, | don't know. And talking
Of Adam reminds me OF man / knew when
| was a boy, a man named Adam, Adam
Brown. Then Mark spun a yarn about
this Adam Brown, yarn that had nothing
whatever to do with the art Of portrait
painting.
When the listeners had quoted down
again Mark went on with his irresistible
hcSitation:
NO. ! don't believe that there ever was
portrait of Adam. or Of any other Of those
Old fellows down there in the Holy Land.
And | don't think ! ever saw a portrait Of
anyone of the old Greeks, either Portrait
painting Is an ancient and an honorable art;
but 1t is not quite SO ancient as that. The
Romans did have portraits: carved mostly,
not painted. I've never seen painted por-
trait of Caesar. Julius Caesar; but | recall
more than one Of portrait busts. And
speaking of Cesar reminds me Of a man who
had a dog called Cesar and then Mark
spun another warn about a dog, yarn
wholly unrelated 20 the topic he was treat
ing.
Then he slipped along afably, dropping
into two other irrelevant warns, tagged 10
the names of Queen Elizabeth and Napoleon
Bonarartc. and that's all ! know about
portrait painting; at least, that's all I'm
Going 20 tell YOU about II this evening. Il Is
an ancient and honorable art; and I'm de-
lighted that YOU have given me this oppor-
tunitv 20 talk 10 YOU about II.
While Mark was thus proving that he had
mastered the principles Of one kind Of after
dinner speaking. there was CONSERVATION on
the CountcnanCes Of several OF the other
practitioners Of the art, who tOresaw that
they would soon be called upon, and reCOg-
n;zed that Mark had made 1t impossible for
them 10 venture on the discursive and di-
grcsSive humorous medley which they had
prepared themselves 20 deliver. On that
evening at any rate, they felt themselves
comueled TO stick close 20 the subjects as
signed to them; and if they chose 70 bring
i'm any anecdotes they made strenuous efforts
TO show that their stories were pertinent 20
their themes.
And it is only when the anecdote IS i'm
pertinent. when II is Offended, that it is of
-en,ivc: and II is most offensive when It
-h~,,,ts itself forward % the forefront y
rlum pudding composed exclusively Of
rlums would be indigcstibe and not nour-
,shirg: and a speech that Is but a string Of
stories is quite a. unnututous. In rs
proper place and in lis proper proportion
the anecdotc is most helpful; but i IS
useful only as a sauce, and is wholly unsatis-
factory as the main dish i is a good
servant and a bad master. Put il in the
saddle. and it Will ride TO the devil. Kept
in the saddlebag, to be drawn in the hour
Of need. it may be useful as weapon Of
precision.
OF all the many admirable after-dinncr
~ pcakcrs that | have had the good luck
% listen 20. James Russell Lowell was the
most admirable. He understood the prin-
c;r'c~ Of the art % perfection. and he APE