davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
NOT A SPEECH
Central Figure in Moving Pictures
Had Mich More Important Mat
inter on His Mind Il

% A#1H#.| Ia L-
Lieut. John H. Towers of the United
States navy is the man who miracu-
lousfy escaped death last summer
when he fell 1000 feet with an caro-
plane into the waters of Chesapeake
bay. He is also the man who played
the part of ardent young lover in the
moving pictures produced by the navy
department some time ago-pictures
for which $2O,O 900 worth of powder was
used and seven warships employed In
a great battle scene. A iss
In the picture, the young hero, the
naval officer, comes upon the cen to
bid a tragic farewell to his lovely
sweetheart. His lips move slowly and
with effort. The girl looks up at him
In sadness. 1t is easy to imagine the
tender words from his lips.
According to those who saw the pic
lures made, what he actually did a
at this junction was:
Lets hurry and get this over, and
go out for something to eat. I'm
starved. Popular Magazine.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01

tinseIs. They laughed at your country
the great land / love because ycu
are Of theFe6 They boast TO pay but
little duties. because they say ma
terial raw and goods fancy when it
is really fabrics"
Up his poor way Ayrih had given the
young consul a valuable hint. Walter
knew that the district guild of mer-
chants : -luued shrewd, trickish men.
That night he went over his tariff files.
He, made an important discovery.
Strung rice, beads, bamboo plating,
native tinsel weayings, when applied
to rugs, ~draperies and curtains,
should have been listed as yfabrfcs.p
This meant an increase in the Import
duty of over forty per cent. ad va.
loren. ~
: Walter duly reported his discovery
and opinions to the authorities at
Washington. Just two months later
he came into the house with a hutter-
ing strip of paper in his hand.
Look, Blanche" he said buoyantly.
Our ship has come in!"
is Your discoveries will lead to a
change of classification, the official
letter read, that will increase import
duties over 100000 a year. You are
transferred as consul general to Sing
apore at four thousand dollars per an
num-" ge sAs
o. 49, ea-U -. - - AEf u.nF
1t was under widely changed resi-
dental conditions that Mrs. Burnham
dropped in upon them Unexpectedly a
few weeks later The Burtons occu-
pied a beautiful bungalow, set in the
midst OF a lovely garden.
How superb" pronounced the ca
PRECIOUS Marcia. II would be content
to live in this earthly Paradise for
ever" 4fsF ti','
You will be surely welcomed as a
permanent guest" declared Walter,
chivalroVsly. But how about the
count?" ~
"A count of M account" reported
Marcia with q wry face. Luckily /,
found 1t out in. time. And your SER
yants-how, different to those at that \
half civilized settlement. The man,
who carried In my traps was quite
dignified."
You do not recognize him?" in
quired Blanche with a quizzical smile.
Why, no." replied her sister with a
puzzled air. NH
He is Ayrih."
You mean the mar whom you res
.ued from that horrible penance at
old post?"
The same. Through him, my dear
declared the young consul,
all our good fortune seems to have
with a bound. A little seed OF
And 10! the beautiful full-blown
iower!!" cried the happy Blanche, her
outspread arms expressing the luxury,
he joy, the comfort, the rare love
With which heaven had blessed her.
Copyright, 1918, by W.. G. ChapmanA
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
Future John d

Apropos of compulsory school at
tendance Superintendent Maxwell said
in York:
"A certain Yakubicka, a Bohemian
urchin, rose suddenly the other after
noon in the midst of the lesson, piled
his books in an orderly heap and pro
ceeded to clump out of the room.
"'Yabubicka, where are you going? o
the astonished teacher asked.
Teacher Yakubicka answered
gravely, exactly IA years ago at three
O'Clock in the afternoon / was born. So
l am now entitled to quit school,
From the doorway he waved his
hand at his fellow students.
$50 long, f%ellers,' he said, I'm off
to learn pantmakin'.''
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
Natural Mistake.

"Waiter!" shouted the MONDAY pa
iron of a very rapidly working down
town cafe Saturday.
In due time the waiter heard. the
summons and stood at attention.
Take this beer away!" continued
the guest, still in strident tones.
Can't you see that there is a fly in
it? Ughi"
The waiter picked up the glass and
inspected it a~nxiously. Then he
smiled reassuringly and set it down
again.
Natural mistake, sir-no offense,"
he said. THAT amt a fly, sir-it's
only a little lump o. dirt"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
turkey Scramble. New Game.

Savannah.--In a fr~ee-for-all scram.
BILE for turkeys held on a downtown
street here several men and women
received battered heads and most of
the birds were torn to pieces. The
scramble, so far as the human beings
were concerned, was a good-naturted
one.
Several hundred persons--men,
women and children-gathered in re-
spouse to a merchants advertisement
that he would release rs turkeys for
the Christmas dinner of those lucky
enough to capture one. The scram-
bier who failed to catch a fowl at
tempted to get n away from a lucky
competitor. This resulted in fights,
torn clothing and bruises. Town Of
ficisls finally cleared the street.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
Her Shopping Husband.

Here is something new, a widows
shopping husband" and it comes
from a London court. A widow had
sued to recover $50, the value of a
pair of diamond earrings.
She stated that on June 90 she went
to the shop and bought the earrings.
Afterward she vas not satisfied, went
back to the shop, and after a heated
discussion called at a pawnbroker's,
who valued the stones at $50.
Counsel read a letter from the plain
tiff, in which she said that her "hus-
band was not satisfied with the
stones" But you are a widow" he
added.
Plaintif-Yes; I sometimes when
shopping use the term my husband"
because I have been done" so often,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
Christmas Robbers Make Merry,

Kansas City.-"Merry Christmas
and a Happy New Year" shouted
back a trio of robbers, as they left
the jewelry store of John Mulch aft
er rifling the cash register and filling
their pockets with watches, in Kan
a City, Kan. Persons passing on
the street who. heard the greeting
knew Of nothing unusual happening
until the excited jeweler appeared and
called for officers. The robbers had
disappeared by that time. ,.,l FL.
The men entered the store, within a
block OF "a police station, and while.
n kept the proprietor covered with
a revolver the others robbed the place.
Mufich's loss amounted to several
hundred dollars. 5s i,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
Getting A~cclimatized.

Old man Hardnut made his home In
Havana after living many unregen.
crate years in the north.
What ever brought him to Hava-
na?" was the mutual query.
"Damfino," chuckled the chap who
knew Of his past performances. "Un-
less he realizes the sands are running
out and wants to get acclimatized."-
From the Times of Cuba.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
Had a Suffciencv.

A large. slouchy colored man went
shufding down the road whistling like
a lark.
Ills clothes were ragged and his
shoes were out at toes and heels, and
he appeared to be in the depths of pow
erty for all his mirth.
AS he passed a prosperous looking
house a man stepped from the door
way and hailed him.
Hey, Jim! ! got a job for you. Do
you want to make a quarter"
NO, sah," said the ragged one. 81
done got a quarter"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01


Senator La Toilette, during his re-
CEN visit to Philadelphia, said apropos
Of a fragrant piece Of hypocrisy:
why, the mans as bad as a New
port groom l heard OF.
This groom stood beside his master
while a veterinary examined a costly
cob. The veterinary, at the end of his
examination, pronounced the cob in
durable and took leave. Then the
master, signing heavily, turned to the
groom saying:
We'll, James, what am 1 to do with
the poor beast now?'
"'Conscientiously speaking, SIR the
groom replied, I think you'd better
part with him now to another gentle
man, sir"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
Fails to Find Hessian Flv.

Sedalia.-S. M. JordaS, farm expert
for Pettis county, says the Hessian fly
has not invaded this section, although
1t is reported to have damaged grow
ing wheat in some parts of the state
seriously.
Mr.. Jordan says he has found a fly
about the size of the insect that an
noys cattle in the summer, and anoth-
er about the size OF a small ant, but
they do little or no damage to wheat.
A third fly discovered is known as
the Crane fly. 1t is about the size of a
large mosquito and looks a little like
the Hessian fly but does no great
damage. A fourth fly that damaged
both wheat and alfalfa is the leaf hop
per, often mistaken for the Hessian
fly.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
UNcOMSCIOU
Michigan Woman Tails of AufuI Suf6cy;ng


Mrs. George Dolsen, Inkster. Mich.
says: "Folowing the birth of my third
child, l began to notice signs of kidney
trouble. / had terrible, bearfng-dovn
pains through the small of my back and
my blood was filled with uric acid. NV
limbs, ankles and feet swelled twice their
natural size and a finger pressure left a
dent for hours. My sight was affected.
my head dizzy and ] would lie for hours
unconscious. 1 got so thin that no one
would have recognized me. The. Kidney
secretions contained white, fatty sub
stances and If allowed to stand became
thick. / had a doctor and he said my
kidneys. weren't fltering the impurities
from my system. Nothing had the least
eIect' In fact, l was getting worse. MY
sister brought me a box of Doan's Kid
ney Pills and when I found they we're
helping me, I kept on taking them. L
got stronger, my kidneys began TO act
right and the Swelling vent down. The
headaches and dizzy spells left me. I
picked up in weight and the pains disap-
peared. was able to take care Of my
housework, feeling like a different wo-
man. Doan's Kidney Pills deserve every
bit of credit for curing me-"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
Just the Reverse.

A kind-hearted and witty clergyman,
entering the house of one of his elders
n morning, found the good old man
numerically whipping one of his sons,
a lad about fourteen years old, and he
at once began to intercede for the
boy.
The deacon defended himself by say
ing that "the youth must be early
trained in the way he should 60. It is
best to make an impression when the
wax is soft"
YES" said the pastor, "but that
does not hold here, for the whacks
were not soft"
The deacon let the boy go.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01

HOW HE MADF 00D
sy MILDRED cARoIEl GOOD

ly miGbnE0 SER $500
ii RIDGE. 4
n do not think m} Of your
choice. Blanche
40 you mean OF ho1or Of hus'
band, Marcia?T
tsBoth. Walter is cerlly as much
in love with you as WI he married
you, but I would reseHa husband
bringing me to this u1lurably des-
olate spot-no society, comfort no
future, nothing but waling' natives
and a hot, blistering 81
yet we hope for AZURE, asister
dear" said Blanche In CHEEKY; OPP
timistic way. When see Walter
every day improve in 18th and spir-
its think of his FIVE is servitude
in asstuffy departmentce at Wash
ington and his free opEir life here.
You know that WalteCmart and in
dustffouss He has sta, at the bot
tom rung of the diplom ladder, but
he Intends to reach TIP"
Very humble, indeefs the pres
ent position of young tier Burton.
He had been an under X in the en-
ploy of the government congress-
man took a liking to hnd had Sc
cured for him his pre- position as
consul at Beiron, an lure city in
India. Just married, hd his wife
had been there now ipout half a
year. Mrs. Marcia Bum, the wild
owed sister of Blanchhs visiting
them.
Il pity you, Blanchss now said,
glancing sourly at the u%ninterest-
ing expanse Of. low Ations and
t~reeless plains before Il have GER
tainly outdistanced ySder though
/ am. Next month, asknow, I am
to marry Count Tolifahey say he
is very rich."
Yes, but money is 1erytihng in
the world" remarkehnche, who /
did not think much oeount from
what she had heard Of
For mercy's sake interrupt
ed Marcia, sharply, d down the
VII o H4LrH EAkkaE Lr N"H NE ~ NaN AE 4
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
Modern Drama.

And have you heard all about Mel
lie Smith,"
"No-do tell me about her! I re-
member everybody used to think she
was SO brilliant, and we predicted that
she would make her mark in the
world"
Well, she's done it. She has writ
ten a very successful play"
What? A successful play?"
Eyes, indeed"
TO think Of it! And we all used to
think her such a pure-minded girl."-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
JAMES WOULD COME LATER
Incidentally Mrs. Gordon Had Lifted
Some Load From the Mind of
Her Neighbor.

Mrs. Gordon had recently moved
into the neighborhood. If'&' ~
Il thought I would come and tell
you that your James has been fighting
with my Edward" said one of the
neighbors, n morning as she called
at Mrs. Gordon's door, land settle
the matter if l could" q
Well, for my part" responded Mrs.
Gordon, haughtily, II have no time
to enter into any discussion about the
chllrden's quarrels. l consider myself
above such triiing things"
I'm delighted to hear it." was the
reply. I'll send James over on a
stretcher in an hour or two."-Life.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
Montioello "a. Biz 81.

Monticello.-A fire which started in
J. b. M~archand's drug store has swept
the town. A heavy wind carried the
flames through six buildings, consti-
tuting the principal business section
OF the town. The estimated loss is be-
tween $4,000 and $4,000. ~
Monticello is a town of about 300 in
habitants, is not on any railroad and
is the county seat of Lewis county. 1t
is nine miles west of Canton, Mo-, and,
about rs miles from Quincy. tt-
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
Told BY the FACE.

How enormously the face Is moldeo
by the thoughts Of its p~ossessor is
shown by the fact that certain occupa-
tons have been peculiar to them.
The navy face is well known. And
there is an army face too. Doctors
and lawyers can generally be detected
by their countenances. There is a
something about them that tells the
occupation.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
WIthout M N

"On eating the sixth oyster Rogo-
voy's teeth came in contact with an
other hard substance which he took
from his mouth and examined critical
ly. Believing that he had found a
gem he took the object to a jeweler,
who pronounced 1t a pear-shaped pear
Of perfect contour. and placed the
value at $5,000."-Cornell Sun.
It was a lot for a pear, even at this
time Of the year. but perhaps the I'M
usual shape made 1t valuable.-Punch.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
circumstantiai Evidence.

Mrs. Clarke came running hurriedly
into her husbands Office one morning.
oh, Dick" she cried, as she
gasped for breath, Il dropped my dia-
mond ring off my finger, and l can't
find it anywhere"
It's all right, Bess," replied Mr..
Clarke, Il came across it in my trous-
ers pocket"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
3 Senator Rusbv win e..i-. :

Richmond.-A letter was received
from Senator William G. Busby of
~Carrollton,h Mo, stating he would not
DC a candidate for denomination at
the 1914 state primary, from the
Eighth senatorial district compbsed
OF Carroll, D~ayiess Caldwell andiRay
counties. ~
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
Steel Construction Saves Lives.

Montgomery City.-Nineteen per-
sons were injured, none fatally, when
Wabash train NO. 8, the Colorado
Limited" ell route from st. Louis, was
derailed about thRee and one.half
miles west of Montgomery City. All
OF the coaches except the real sleeper
left the track.
A majority Of those injured were
cut by broken glass. All steel equip
ment of the train probably saved many
from serious injury and death, as four
OF the cars rolled into a ditch and
turned over on their sides, The wreck
was caused by a broken rail.
That none was killed is considered
lucky, as trainmen say the wreck is
n of the worst in their history. The
track and right-of-way were torn up
for more than 200 yards. The wreck
is the first for Conductor j. s.. Gould
during his rs years service for the
Wabash.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
sohonlhox On soan

From a schooIboy's essay on soap:
Soap Is a kind Of stun made In cakes
what you can't eat. 1t smells good
and tastes orful. Soap always tastes
worst when you get It in your eye.
Father says Eskimos don't ;se soap:
I wish was an Eskimose.s
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
To Build Telephone Plant.

Mexico.-E. D. Graham, g, former
mayor of Mexico and owner of the tel
ephone plant at Lexington, announced
that he intends to build a new tele-
phone exchange at Lexington. Work
on the new plant will begin at once.
Mr.. Graham says he will install the
latest type, multiple, common battery
Telective switchboard. The exchange
building, he says, will be fireproof
and will house only the telephone
plant.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
A Rural COMPLAINT.

so you think beef will be higher?''
Yes" replied the statistician.
We'll, it's too bad the way things
are mismanaged. I wish there were
some way I could leave my diamonds
In the barn and put the COW in the
safe-deposit vault"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
FoiIinc Chris.

Columbus had returned to Spain
bringing news of wonderful new lands
across the sea.
How much shall I write on it?"
queried the maritime reporter of the
Cadiz Evening Bulletin, who had
brought in the story.
Don't write anything" replied the
editor, Let Columbus pay for his ad-
vertising II he wants any. It's proba-
bly, a real estate promotion scheme
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01

Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for Children
Relieve Feverishness, Bad Stomach. Teethine
Disorders, move and regulate the Bowels and
are q pleasant remedy for Worms. Used by
Mothers for "A years. They are 80 p~ieasantto
take, children like them. zxey nepsy nil At
all Druggists, 25c. Sample FREE. Address.
A.. 8. oimsted, lie Roy, N. y. Adv.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01

road. There is thlnthropical
husband Of yours wiw pension.
er in tow, l fancy"
IF so, Walter CAMP it," re.
turned Blanche, witeet smile.
HE is always tryintsomething
to ameliorate the 4 of these
poor natives"
"He has picked ue sample
this time" retortea disgust
eddy.
There was certaine contrast
between the spruce, me consul
and the limping, tattive whose
arm he held in aidintwalk. The
native looked as If ben rolled
q mile in the dust-hd. His
clothing was nearly from him.
Face and body bores Of cuts
and bruises. He lping for
breath and seemed b state of
almost complete exl
Walter led him to L the SER
want at the rear Of tand gave
him into his charge he ap-
preached the ladiesl
walter, how can lest your
self In these ignoraless peo-
pier chided Marcia. Eothing is
covered with dust TACT with
that fellow"
"a poor fellow, inhied Wal
ter, pityingly. "Yot wonder
at his condition whyou that
i found him lying wayside,
creeping on hands 5, bound
for Calcutta"
1.-TWO hundred my!" ex-
claimed Marcia. "Ymean-"
THAT he had alfred one
hundred miles with upright
for the past six weedeclared
Walter.
why did he do red the
widow, with indiffeTty.
"As q penalty. Btarving
and stole a measureThe law
put him at o year q)r. The
priest OF his sect 4 twenty
taels, or the horril he was
undergoing"
"And you paid hi infer?"
spoke Marcia, contS
Il could not resis replied
Walter.
The widow left thays la
ter to meet her affband at
Naples, The native, i'm Wal
ter had taken undatecting
wing, became domeA CRATE
full, loyal servant. without
kith or kin, but wadlnusual
education for his chvotion
to the consul and hine dog.
like In its intensity
Walter was i gooSised toll
md how useful Ayito him
(. as the weeks passed. Of the
consular functions pass
ing upon export dut stand
ing Of business houistrict.
II was remarkable Hin was
posted on these delay he
came to Walter, evik some
subject that intereireatly.
for a half suppressht was
visible In his mani
"sahib," no said,
Learn what, AyiA wal
ter in his kindly WI /
"The guilds 4thoEt the
wicker, the bamboo the /
.. A o
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01

Doan's Kidney Pills-nothing to injure
nor cause a habit. Delicate women
use them with perfect safety.
The following case Is typical of the cnrez
erected by Doan's Kidney Pills. Grateful
testimony is the best evidence.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
Surplus of stock.

What do you think of this bride
having 5000 guests at her wedding?"
I wouldn't invite so many. I
wouldn't care to get three or four
thousand pickle forks"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
The plannosia.

Tom tried to hide at first that he
was going to try and borrow money.
but ne made such transparent ad.
vances for the loan of ten dollars"
"Ah, I see; sort Of X-raise."
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
Beginning Early.

Mother-No. baby, you are too
heavy to carry.
B~aby-Then, mamma, call q taxil
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
FROM ALL OVER The STAIE


jefferson City-state superintend.
emit of Edueation W. P, Evans is out
in letter advocatingsa sensible Sim
pllfied method Of. spelling~sra Is
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
important 10 Mnfhnrs
WifeIy Scorn.

5 you're peeVish about buttoning
my gown, eh?"
He only grunted.
Why, my first husband also but
toned my shoes and my gloves"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01

Charleston.-William Bryant, a far
mer, whose home is about two miles
west Of Charleston, was run over and
killed by a work train. Several people
saw the accident and shouted warn
ings.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01

Il wonder why women's fraterni.
ties are never successful?" @Thats
quite simple F~feternities are secret
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
I 'when Your Back is Lame-Remembr the Name" ,
8$$#Hgg DOoAAAN;S KIDNEY PILLS GE$#AA
ENS6NY SddW npaAS~ Prices cents f&af#an Co.. Bas N !, puueos XSl9SS#E
Paw Knows Evervthinn

Willie-Paw, where do forest fires
start? D., 49,. s,a .saa.,.
i Pawn mountain ranges, my son.
Cincinnati Enquirer. -
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01

% 49, -. ~ c 80 H. a. -15Fs+s 81
1t is easier for the average woman
to muster up courage to face a mouse
than openly to defy fashion.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01
Former State Teachers Are Married.

Former State Teachers Are Married.
Fulton.-George Humphreys Of Mo-
kane, formerly connected with the
State Hospital for the Insane at Full
ton, and Miss Dora Newsom Of Tib-
belts, formerly a teacher at the Mis-
souri, School for the Deaf, were mar
ried by Rev. J.. A. Taylor.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-01

Some gifts were better left ungiyen
the gift of CAB, for instance.