The Washington herald., 1914-03-08
Seeing Life With John
tcopynrht. A&)


THE idea originates with Bunch Jefferson. You
i can always count on Bunch having few freak
ideas in the belfry where he keeps his butterflies
Bunch and his wife, Alice, live out in Westchester
County, about half mile from Uncle Peters bunga-
low, where friend wife and spending the winter
The fact that Uncle Peter and Aunt Martha had
decided to give us party was the inspiration for
Bunch's brilliant idea.
Listen, John" he MacchiavelIied, mot of
this push out here knows thing about the tango.
Most of them have foolish idea that its wicked
institution invented by the devil who sold his patent
rights to the Evildoers' Association Now, I'll take
about two lessons from good instructor in town and
the night of the party we'll make the hit of our
lives teaching them all to tango. Are you James to
the possibilities"
at listens like good SPIEL" I agreed; but will
a couple of lessons be enough for u.s."
Sure" he came back; we're not a couple of
Patsys with the pump We learn enough in
two lessons to make good in this boob community
Why, we'll start tango out here that will put
life and ginger into the whole outfit and presently
they'll be putting up statues in honor"
Well, to make long story lose its cunning,
made arrangements next day with lkey Schwartz,
dancing instructor, to explain the mysteries of this
modern home-wrecking proposition known as the
Tango and paid him in advance the sum of SIoo.
vance was nifty little price for two lessons, but
Bunch assured me the price reasonable, on ac-
count of the prevalence of rich scholars willing to
divide their patrmony with anybody who could teach
their feet to behave in time to the music.
We made an appointment to meet Ikey at his
studio" for our first lesson the following afternoon
Then hiked for home the Ala, we'll pleased
with investment and its promise of golden
turns.
That night Bunch and Alice were over to our
place for dinner After dinner Bunch and l sat. down
by the log fire in the Dutch room, filled faces
with Havana panateIas and proceeded to enjoy life
in silence.
Into the next room came Alice and Peaches and
sat down for their usual cackle.
Bunch and | started from our reveres when we
heard Alice say TO Peaches: "You don't know what
source OF comfort it has been to to realize that
Funch doesn't know blessed thing about the tango
or any of those hatefuly intimate new dances!7
The same with me. Alice" friend wife chirped
in 81 believe if John TO suddenly display ability
TO dance the tango Id be broken-hearted Naturally
I'd know that he must have learned it with wicked
companion in some lawless cabaret. And if he fire.
quened cabarcts without my knowledge-oh, Alice
what would Ldo?'
| looked at Bunch, he looked at me, and then we
both looked the window
For my part" Alice went on; q trust Bunch 50
implicitly that don't even question his motive when
he telephones he has to take dinner in town with
a prospective real estate customer"
And | know enough of human nature" Peaches
gurgled ito be sure that if either one of them could
tango he would be crazy to show off at home.
think we're lucky, both of u.s. to have such steady
going husbands, don't you, ALICE"
At this point Aunt Martha buzzed into the other
and the cackle took another complexion
In the meantime Bunch and l had passed away.
Its cold turkey" l whispered.
1--WE been in the refrigerator for ten minutes and
I'm chilled the bone" Bunch whispered back
Can get coin away from Ikey?" asked
The afternoon we had Ikey Schwartz for
luncheon with at the St Astorblt, the idea being
to dazzle him and get few of the iron men back
Leave everything me-" Bunch grow1ed as we
shaved our hats and Indian-fcd to trough.
"A quart of Happysuds," Bunch ordered. How
about it, key"
lkey flashed grin and tried to swallow his palate
it wouldn't interfere with the wet spell suggested
by Bunch.
Ikey belongs TO the "ds, dose, and dem" push
Every long sentence he uttered was full of splin-
tered grammar.
Every time Ikey opened his word chest the Kings
English screamed for help and literature got kick
in the Stats
He short and thin but with deceptive thin
His capacity for storing away free liquids was
awe-inspiring and sin
l think Ikey must have been hollow from the neck
to the ankles, with emergency bulheads in both feet