Evening star., 1914-05-17

MS eye; who pott"rS around in the dirt
until apprehensive friends cali his Wife
over the telephone and ask if her husband
is giving an imitation of Nehuchadnezzar
eating grass.
He shall be nameless for many rea-
sons. One is that he is a man who is
short on temper and long on muscle and
dead against mediation when he feels that
his dignity has been assailed If YOU
know him, well and good. Keep his name
TO yourself. You can identity him by the
.ich mahoganyhued bald spot on his
head. 1t is thoroughly sunburneG now
:
The myriad little voices Of spring called
him early in April. He is nov calling the
myriad little voices of sprins-weH he is
calling them mean things
All during the winter lie had been read
ing the vegetable and flower seed cata-
logues. anybody who has succumhed
to the lure of vegetable and flower seed
catalogues knows those beautifully col
ored pictures of parisgre lettuce with
an artistic dash Of yellow in The. center)
and blood-red tomatoes. and binding
flower petals the like of which Were, never
seen on land or sea. He recalls the bril-
liant saffron pumpkin the size of a bal
loon, the radisfi that is Ike the rose for
color and the sweet potato FOR size, the
cornstalks with tasseis wavinG high in
the heavens like some gigantic royal
palm
On the first warm day Jones went out
and dug lie dug until YOU could hear
his joints give with a gentle creaking
sound and the bac. yard looked as ii
IT had been shot up with shrapnel
Jones pondered and that night lie came
home With a large package under his
arm and a slight package under his
belt-the latter being necessary in order
TO enable MIN TO carry the package under
his arm.
He slowed it In the cellar. But the
contents of that package were not adapt
ed TO concealment. 1t was fine upright |
outstanding, the contents of that pack
age, and 1t didn't propose 10 hide its light
under a bushel After dinner Jones
wife came to him
Henry" she said. Il feel sure that |
some poor little animal has passed be-
yond the vale of sorrow. and that the
corpse is either in the sewer main or in |
the cellar VIII you
She paused and shifted. She shifted at
Henry. directly at him
Where have you been today. dear?"
she asked, anxiously. Il hope you have
not exposed yourself to any infectious
disease
Henry, who was still feeling expansive
gazed at her with dignity.
Il do not follow YOU he said. coldly. |
i''Or been to the morgue'' The wife |
pursued her cross-examination. Il hope |
you have not been there They say it |
10 unhealthful''
Henry shook his head light had |
come into his eyes.
Guess what it is?" he urged, trium-
phantly.
Henry" said his wife. severely, ST
40 Ir<t -
of those horrid cheeses-
1T is not cheese" said Henry. DELHI
erately. Guess again"
Wifely curiosity had reached the point
where IL must be satisfied Mrs. j. was
preparing 10 assume the expression of a
hanging judge-not d judge who hangs
in air, but who imposes sentences upon
undesirable citizens. you understand
when Henry took her by the arm and led
her TO the cellar.
lie stopped her in front of the com
partment reserved for coal She was a
strong woman and. though she paled.
she preserved her iron self-control and
whispered tensely:
Henry. tell me the worst
Patent fertilizer.Y said Henry, proudly.
Make the little plants grow quickly.
Make them fairly jump out of the
ground.
Yes" agreed Mrs Jones' coldIy. cit
win make them Jump out of the ground
all right 1t viii make anything jump.
II Is going to make me and the children
jump TO a hotel and stay all night unless
within five minutes you shall have put II
somewhere outside of this house.
"Or." she added. thoughtfully. unless
YOU have buried II. 1t is not right that
anything like that should be allowed to
remain above ground. II is not Chris
tian''
So Henry carried il outside. muttering
something about the unapprecativeness
Of women. And the next morning he
started to work again.
He narrowed the ground He said har-
rowed but he meant harried. II that
back yard had had the feelings of a
Mexican bandit IT could not but feel
bitterly injured at the way Jones malIled
II around. He would dig holes and hen
decide TO run a long straight furrow.
And the turro would continue until
Henry would learn after five minutes of
earnest shoveling, that he was trying
futilely to dislodge a ffty-pound boWlder
Then he would go around the bowlder.
He had taken a day OF. Rain might
again delay him and he proposed to plant
seeds while the sun shone. The first
thing that struck him when he opened
the seed packages their intense
variety. The radish seeds for instance
were brunettes and some were blonds
The cabbage seeds were diversified
enough to have satisfied a postage stamp
collector. The flower seeds especially
those which were to bring forth roses
seemed TO be total strangers, although
they were in the same package.
Jones sighed and started to work again
First he would take !; little dab of seeds
and drop them somewhere near the fur
row. Then he would heap on the clay
and fertilizer. Then he would pat the
grave with his hoe. grunt and repeat
BY eventide he had planted almost the
entire garden-literally There wasn't a
spot where YOU could put your hand
that did not bear its little grave OF
seeds. Jones slid around the house and
in the faint spring twilight planted the
remainder OF his roses in two large
vaults which he had created in the
front lawn. He was in Il hurry lie
merely dumped the seeds into the yaWn-
Ing cavity and fed toward the bath
tub,
Jones popularity with the chickens and
roosters and hens In his neighborhood
was Immediately noticeable. They We're
always more or less friendly. but now
they developed "a positive passion for
Jones and his garden. There wer'
seventeen or eighteen thousand OF them
out in the back yard next morning. The
k1ll - fpy