davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-25
The Difference Bet,Ueen
Underwood and Hobson

We mite as we'll acknowledge the coin. Os-
ker has stuck around Washington good
deel, and neglected his opportunities
shamefully Bill, and that S all there is to it.
OF corse he passed the tariff bill, and took
command of the demmycrattic forse in the
House and succeeded in making the repub-
Icon party look foolish, and all that, Bill.
and also he did rally round the flag and
pushed the Webb bill across, too, Bill, for
he has mt in all his life give so much as a
single lecture for temperinse and 5000, Bill,
and we mite as we'll admit it,
l am surprised and sumwhat panied Bill,
at your evvidntly sarcastick statemint that
'Sobsons S enthewsiasm for temperinse and
prohibison cum frum his enthewsasm to
acquire the Senatorial toger. You must re-
mmher that Sobson was enthewsiastic for
prohibison long before he thought of run
ming for the SENT Bill, indeed [ am greeved
that you should make such a statemint
Why shouldn't he be enthewsiastic, Bill,
may | ask9 If the ultimate consoomur, Bill,
who believes in prohibision, as you and
do, can dig down in his jeens and kick in an
run man or two to boost along the wurk of
the Revverint Brooks Lawrense, of Podunk,
Ohio, can enthews las he does ovver proh-
bison, in the name of Mike, why should the
Captain not enthews, Bill, when he has
passed the Buck for Donating to the Ulti-
mate Consoomer, aforesaid and nsted
draws down about fifteen thousend bones
per annum out of his advocasy of the move
mint y If insted of quitting up'' we weeu
drawing down." Bill, don't you think
you could develop a grand little burst of
entbewsiasm? 1t seems to me that | could
| get plum enthewsiastic ovver things, Bill,
heeps and heeps of times, when | am getting
nuthing out oflt, but when il Gums to draw
wing sallery and enthewsing at the same
time, Bill, | honestly believe that I could
ring twelve. | sertainly would like to give
correct immitasion of persun doing so.
L don't think that Sobson, good as he is,
would have emmy thing on me.
L meerly mension theese things to show
yon Bill, that you have been very unjust TO
Captain Sobson. Let us do all we can to
elect Osker, Bill, for we air for him be-
cawse we air demmycrats and becawse Os-
ker mas dun sum reel good wurk for tho
denliycrottic party, Bill, although he has
not advised the peepul to desist as much as
he might have dun
Well, Bill, emmy how, am glad to beer
You say thai theor is so doubt about Oskep
getting elected. If Capt. Sobson should be-
elected to the SENT, the SENT would be
ovver one Grand Little Adviser to Desist
and the country would be short the afore-
seo--that Is to say--if the Captain stuck TO
What he has stated that 'Nif elected to the
SENT ne would surve the peepul faithfully
there . Still he sed the same thing when
running for the House and-Oh, Well,
what's the use?
Well, give my love to all the boys, Bill.
and II you ever cum to Washington, look
me upg If | am not out on the Shetalker
Sircuit, will be found in the Hbbs bilding.
Bill. So long. Yours trooly,
Washington, ID. c. BILL VINES
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-25

now than ever before in our lives This in
spite of the fact, Deer Bill, that this "grat-
est forse for temperinse and good morrels"
has been refrainning frum sticking round
Washington emmy, with CRATE fortitude, but
has been promulgating the evil effects of
the CRATE destroyur, at so much per promul.
While we air for Underwood, Bill, we air
certainly ashamed that we can't claim emmy
CRATE deeds like this for Osker. Osker has
not dun much Bill and that's the truth
There air very few folks on the Shetawlk-
er Sircuit that knows Osker, Bill, and he
has mt laid by singl kopeck maid by ad-
vissing the peepul to desist. Osker has
been little slack in this respect, Bill, and
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-25

dent been for the Captain. As it is, Bill, in
spite of the Captain $ nobull efferts to sup
press the Deemun Rum, Sed Deemun re-
fuses to be suppressed Cents the Captain
has been chasing the Deemun he seems to
have gained a few laps. When the
Captain furst took up the pursoot of the
Deemun, Bill, the consumption of booze in
the United States was a meer bag-o- shells
to what it is now If the Deemun Rum has
gained on us, with the Captain in the feeld
fitting him tooth and toe-nail Bill, stop and
think a min1,it what would have happened
to us, if it had not been for the Captains
According to the crewel statistics Bill, we
air consuming moor booze per square inch
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-25
The Things Men Wear--By Karl Kaffer

Talk about women's clothesi Women have never
in their widest freaks of fashion worn anything so
unbeautifu SO inartistic, grotesque as Just the
common, ordinary pants see upon every man
around every day Of our lives.
That is sclf-evident fact and there's no use
denying it.
They joke-those pants are.
You will notice that men-the nice men, that is
take much pride in their collars and their ties their
waistcoats and their Gloves their hats and their
shirts and their handkerchiefs Even their shoes and
socks are selected with taste and discrimination
Their coats must be just They view all these
details with careful observance to artistic effect
And them
Oh, the Inconsistency of 1t!
In cold blood and without turning hair they
parade the whole world in lower garment that is an
unholy sight.
And they don't mind bit. They are like Eva
Ianguey, They don't care!" All they insist ON is
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-25

Rum all ovver the country, and saying aw-
ful things about sed Deemun and Advising
the peepul to desist, before it is too late. He
is one of the niftiest little advisers to desist
there is at large at this riting, Bill, take it
frum me. He advises the Deer Peepul to
desist at about 5000 per advise, Deer Bill,
which l submit is plum. patryottic on the
part of the Captain. He is been in the adj
vissing bizness on large scale evver cents
he was elected to Congriss Bill, and he has
not caught up with his wurk yet. He's still
advising. In this nobull and patryottic
wurk, the Captain is engaged exclusively.
[ shudder to think Of what would have be-
cum OF all the red-corpussels, Bill, if it had
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-25

lR1ISTUR EDDITUR: I had letter
Il -. few days ago frum my Deer Old
~ Friend Bill Spraddlin, of McNath's
Beet, who inquired of me jest exactly how
| IOskcr Underwood and Representative Sob
son stood up here Bill allowed that there
seem to be sum confusion down in and
through his settlemint regarding the wurth
of the two cannydates for the SENT, and he
sed lie knew that I was up here kinder tax
ling notes on the administration and one
| thing and anuther and knowing that I
newer was known to tell lye-(soft mu-
sick pleese)-he wanted me to give them
the reel stuff Bill sed there was a terribull
dispute in the Nayborhood, sum continuing
that Underwood stood in with Wall Street
and the Lickker Crowd, and that Sobson
was very heavy with the Cold Water
Leege, and the pure is Hart Uthers
charged, sed Bill, that Sobson newer
dun emmy thing but sink the Merry
running round the country lecturing
on the Deemnn Rum, and Votes for VIM
min, and so forth. Bill wanted to know if
there was emmy truth in the statemint that
Sobson had given the only peese of Ala
patronage he had to ''Coon, y and if sink
ling the Merrymack dun emmy special harm
Bill also wanted to know if | had seen ennv
thing OF the Deemun Rum, and if so, what
kind of Deemun he was as Deemun s go7
My reply follers:
My Deer Bill: have your lettur of resint
date. and hasten to reply. ! do not feellike
butting into Alabama polyticks and getting
myself talked about Still, cents you ask
\ me as an old friend, I cannot resist your
plee, Deer Bill, SO J. will tell you jest how
Imatturs stand here. I want it understood
/ that it is confidensial I am ashamed of
Il you Bill that you should try to mock Capt
lISohson's s heeroick deed when he sunk the
/ IMerrymack at the mouth of Santy-Yargo
barber. You mension that it did no good
and didn't amount to emmy thing. That's
the sordid and jeelus veew to take of it
Bill; it didn't bottle up the Spanish Fleet
to emmy CRATE extint but it maid a swell
!Sununur Resort for the mur-maids. Bill
Hand you can't git out of that. No. Bill. Won
air rong, Capt Scbson is entitled to faw
gloats ovver sinking the Merrymack, and
let him gloat, its cumming to him.
l believe in fair play Bill, and I don't
mind telling you that I am for Osker all
rite but lets give The Captain all the credit
that's cumming to him. Now to tell tba
htruth, Bill, the Captain hasn't dun much IN
0ongrlss, beeawse he hasn't had the time
lie s been powerful bizzy ever cents he was
elected to Congriss, for the entire wait of
the battle against the Deemun Rum has
been upon his shoulders. Single handed and
alone he has been chasing the Deemun
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-25

grow the more frightened the become, and from
press, pulpit and street corner they denounce 1t as
"inmodesty."
They watch the slit skirts with alarm.
Outwardly they howl for the preservation of
"rroprety." Inwardly they raging for their
rights
They don't want poachers their highly valued
pants reservation. They pretend to be shocked at
the extreme skirts
But 1t isn't that
They simply scared.
And it's funny It really is.
Because, truly, women do not want their old
pants.
Ninety-nine women out of hundred wouldn't be
caught dead in them.
And to do justice TO they are more gen
erous IN this matter of dress than are the men, The
strictly upto-dao dress for the man of fashion today
encroaches far into the feminine domain of texture
and color.
Little colored feathers in the mems hats are seen
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-25

SO often that they are scarcely remarked upon Gay
colorcd handkerchefs and socks and waistcoats are
everywhere
Formerly plain white silk negligee shirt was
considered rather extreme and effeminate Nbw
nothing is extreme.
There are shirts of pale blue and pink and Law.
ender crepe de chine embroidered with little clusters
of volets rosebuds
There are green and tan suits there are suits of
royal blue and purple.
Suits of red, or Alice blue will come In time.
And do the women mind this infringement on
their color rghts?"
Net in the least They like to see the men COM
ing forth in hues more cheerful than the traditional
black, and dull brown and gray
And should they carry their innovations to the
point Of remodeling and shaping graceful and
artistic lines that neither garment called "pants"-
No women living would be Jealous
They would rejoice.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-25

I6VAYIHY don't the men all over the civilized world
A rise in body? Why don't thew str;bo
(sY against the custom or the decree or what.
ever it is that garbs them in their present
day apparel?
Is there anywhere in the heavens above +ba
earth beneath, the waters under the earth s,t
more outlnndish than pair of mems trousers9
Just the plain ordinary pants that millions of
men wear every day.
Why should mans wearing apparel be con-
lsructed with such absolute disregard Of the aesthet
lies?
From artistic standpoint it certainly does seem
THAT the men would demand better looking and bet
tier shaped neither garment from the sartoral powers
LhaS be-
Why shouldn't they insist upon having the knee
trousers Of century ago?
Truly the man who first introduced aSd wore
THE long trousers have had something terribly
wrong with his lower linbs
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-25

Z 1TSTUR EDDITUR: [ had a letter
- few days ago frum my Deer Old
@ Friend Bill Spraddlin, of McNath IS
The Madisonian. (Richmond, Ky.) 1913-1914, 1914-08-18

$4,000 of these were cavalry. This
means that the three Austrian corps
stationed in Galicia, or a little less
than 100000 combatants, with nine d.
visions of cavalry, about $4,000. have
gone into Russia, but just where is
left to the Imagination.
Six corps. three German and three
Austrian, and from $4,000 to 10000
cavalry are probably advancing to-
wards Brest-Litovosk. BY the time
these arrive there it is difficult to see
how the Russians can have more than
three full corps and 10000 to 10000
cavalry. Austrian troops have ad-
vanced along the eastern frontier that
is just north of Roumania.
1t seems probable that on the
French frontier at the present time
Germany has nine corps of the active
army, assisted by one Austrian corps
on the German extreme left, near the
Swiss border. There probably are
nine more corps of the first reserve
and nine more of the second reserve
also on the French frontier, which
with all their auxiliaries amount to
well over 100000 fighting men.
1t appears that if these million Ger
mans care to remain on the defensive
on the French border it will take a
pretty goodly number of attackers to
get them out of their intrenchments. il
they ever can do it. Providing Aus
tria and Germany are directing their
main attack against Russia, France to
reap any advantage must strike quick
ly and hard on line as short, in a mil
itary way, as possible towatd the Kiel
canal
The Madisonian. (Richmond, Ky.) 1913-1914, 1914-08-18
"WlLLIE HAS APPENDICITIS"
Code Message That Sent the kron-
prinzessin cecelie ScuttIing Back
to Bar Harbor.

Baltimore, Md.-Edward L. Palmer
of Roland Park, whose wife is spend
ing the summer in Southwest Harbor,
Me-, just across the bay from Bar Har-
Dor, received letter telling OF visit
she had made to the Kronprinzessin
Cecelie.
I'VE talked with several persons on
board the liner Mrs. Palmer wrote.
"They told us~they we're within two
days of Germany when the steamer
turned in response to wireless. The
words used in the message, which was
in code. were: Willie has appendi-
citis.'
1T was pretty good joke on Ger
many. imagine the kaiser would
have appendicitis if the bullion the
Cecelie carried had fallen into the
hands of the English
The code message, interpreted, said
that war had been declared between
Germany and England.
The Madisonian. (Richmond, Ky.) 1913-1914, 1914-08-18

march or line of operations directed
on Berlin would involve a defeat of
the German main army and such a
great penetration of German territory
probably would paralyze the defense
the distance is 400 miles. Every
mile will be bitterly contested and
every miles means thousand of lives
and millions of money.
kiel Canal Big Factor.
The Kiel canal is the deciding fac
tor in the control Of the sea. 1t is 300
miles from Namur Many of Germany's
great supply points are in the interval
between. An advance on this line
would be near the sea, where England
could help with her ships. Once the
Kiel canal is captured humiliation of
the German feet might result, which
would give command of the Baltic sea
to France and her allies and allow the
unrestricted transport of Russian
troops and material of war to the
north German coast.
1t therefore would appear that the
strategy of France will aim at the cap
ture of the Kiel canal, because it is
the most important point strategically
which Germany possesses. By this
line of action France would utilize to
the utmost Englands great sea power.
In addition, by a direct invasion in
the direction of the Kiel canal France
would cover Paris and her communi-
cations better than by any other route.
An advance via Mulhausen and Strass-
burg would be extremely dangerous
and just what the Germans would like
to see France do. Hence we see why
Germany seized Liege at the earliest
The Madisonian. (Richmond, Ky.) 1913-1914, 1914-08-18

eaten. left behind on the range. In 4
single year the crows destroyed some
thing over FIVE hundred chicks.
Devices OF all sorts we're tried in
order to stop these ravages. Various
kinds of ''scare-crows" were tried but
with no effect whatever. Dead crows
were hung up on stakes as warning
to their fellows, but instead of operat-
ing as warnings, they appeared to
serve as invitations to the dance"
Decoying the birds was tried, but with
no substantial effect on the steady
losses. Poisoning even was resorted
to, but all to no avail. The losses con
tinued almost constantly.
Finally a plan was adopted which
Is perfectly safe and sure in it's opera.
ton. 1t consists simply in running
strands of binder Irvine about two feet
apart over the whole of the poultry
range occupied by the young birds
until they reach such size that they
are able to take care of themselves
These strings are run over the tops OF
the brooder houses, and on supports
made by cross strands of either wire
or two or three strings of binder Irvine
twisted together. These cross strands
are held up where necessary by posts.
The whole network of strings thus
formed is put at such height that the
attendants in working about the yard
will not hit the strings when standing
upright. The area covered in with
strings in this way at the Maine sta
ton poultry plant is usually about
three acres per year. The expense of
covering this area is from SIS to $40
for Irvine. The labor of putting it UP
is comparatively small 1t forms per.
feet and complete protection against
both crows and hawks
The Madisonian. (Richmond, Ky.) 1913-1914, 1914-08-18
TACTICS SHOWN
BY ARMY MOVES
Strategical Problems Of Warning
Nations Are Now Becom-
ing Apparent.
KEEL CANAL IS BIG FACTOR
Capture Of Waterway by Enemies Of
Germany Might Prove Turning
Point Of War-importance
of Paris and Berlin.

Notwithstanding the meagerness of
details from Europe, the strategical
problems for Germany and France
have become more apparent during
the last few days.
France must protect her frontier
against German invasion and at the
same time she must proceed as fast
as possible towards the Kiel canal.
That canal is apt to prove the turn
ing point in the war If the triple en-
tente gets control of it, according to q
military expert writing for the Chica-
go Tribune
Germany, Oh the other hand, must
protect her French border and the
Kiel canal and drive her forces into
Russia as fast as possible.
The question now presented to Ger
many and France is where to attack
The capture of Paris alone at pres
ent probably would not bring about a
cessation sof combat on the part of the
French, as the sinews of war have
been well provided further to the
south
Berlin is not Germany even to any
where nearly as great an extent as
Paris is France. The straight line dis
lance from Namur (the fortress before
which the Germans have established
touch with their French antagonists)
to Paris is $50 miles; to Berlin, 400
miles; to the KieI canal, 300 miles.
The distance from Mulhausen to Ber-
lin is about 400 miles; to the Kiel ca
nal. 500 miles,
But the distance from Paris to Null.
hansen is about $50 miles, and from
Namur to Mulhausen is 220 miles, and
almost straight south by east of it,
therefore away from Paris. While a
The Madisonian. (Richmond, Ky.) 1913-1914, 1914-08-18

opportunity and advanced on Namur.
Muihausen. Colmar and the little strip
In Lorraine, which we're not defended,
as 1t might be possible that the en-
thusiasm and popular clamor of the
French would force an invasion OF
their lest provinces of Alsace-Lor-
raine- eut it is highly improbable that
determined advance in force will be
made on this line even should popular
clamor demand it.
The German Plans.
Germany on the other hand has not
only France to attend to but Russia
as well. In considering her plans she
also must take into account Austria
Should Russia be allowed to mobilize
fully and concentrate, it is probable
that she would be able to overwhelm
Austria, first attacking on the Lem
berg-Rucharest tRoumania) line. II
is probable that Germany is acting
with rapidity against Russia.
What press dispatches have drifted
through indicate that 10000 Germans
landed some three days ago between
Hango and Helsingfors in Finland.
This force in all probability consisted
of one army corps and one cavalry di-
vision. some additional heavy artillery.
engineers and aeronautical troops.
From Warsaw to St. Petersburg
there are IL Russian corps. but as
these are not fully modified one Ger
man corps is probably as strong IN
men as two Russian corps just now.
The German corps which landed in
Finland and therefore behind st. Pc
tersburg is undoubtedly designed to
hold the four Russian corps in that
vicinity to keep them from going to
the assistance of the other Russian
corps further to the south.
Again it was reported that the Rus
sian government has decided to evacu
ate Warsaw, which was officially de
MED at st. Petersburg. Weighing this
evidence. it seems probable that
there has been German advance from
Intersburg in the direction of Wilma
to hold the four Russian corps sta
toned in that district from doing any
harm or going to any other place
Possibly three German corps, whose
stations are close to Wilma, are en-
gagged in that operation.
If the vigorous fighting of these foul
German corps, the one in Finland and
the three against Wilma, is strong
enough, eight Russian corps might
probably be isolated and fully occu
pied with their own affairs and moi
able to move or concentrate anywhere
else.
Austrians Invade Russia.
1t is reported that 100000 Austrians
had been assembled in Galicia and tha
The Madisonian. (Richmond, Ky.) 1913-1914, 1914-08-18
NATURAL ENEMIES OF CHICKS
Depredations by Crows and Hawks
May Be Prevented by Device
Adopted by Maine Station.

One of the chief difficulties that the
poultryman has to contend with is the
continued loss of chicks, and some
times even of nearly fall-grown BIRDS
as consequence of the N@epredations
OF natural enemies. 1t is safe 10 say
that the magnitude of the loss from
this source is not anything like FUZZY
realized by anyone who has not keiN
an accurate account of all his birds.
In the experimental work with poul.
try at the Maine station, a record Of
every bird is kept. In this way it has
been possible to check up and form
an adequate estimate of the losses due
to the creatures that prey upon poul-
try, and, of necessity, a good deal OF
attention has been devoted to the
problem of how these losses may be
cut down.
In the experience of the above sta
ton the most destructive natural en-
envy of poultry has been found to be
the crow. The depredations of the
hawks are more spectacular, perhaps,
but in the long run far less destructive.
A hawk will only visit a poultry yard
occasionally, and especially IL he is
shot at once or twice will be wary
about approaching it again. On the
contrary the crow is a steady and per
sistent robber. He will continue his
depredations just as long as It is phys
ically possible for him to do SO. For
number of years crows killed and
either carried away, or left behind
partly eaten, large number of chicks
on the Maine station plant. These
losses were not by any means confined
to the small chicks, but half-grown
birds. each nearly equal in weight to
the crow itself, were killed, partly
The Madisonian. (Richmond, Ky.) 1913-1914, 1914-08-18

the battlefield in an automobile found
evidence of desperate defense on
the part of the inhabitants and saw
age vengeance melted out by the Ger
man soldiers.
The correspondent saw seven bodies
of civilians in ditch. An old man
with an umbrella still in his grasp
was found dead on road. Army
wagons had passed over him.
The bodies of scores of German sol
diers lay along the sides of the road.
All their household goods had been
abandoned by the fleeing inhabitants.