The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-11-17
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MULvEY THE MACER
BY CLARENCE L. CULLEN.

Mulvey the Macer not being .
member of the Panhandlers' union,
works his Independent or open-shop
panhandling route anywhere in Broad.
way between Madison square and
Longacre square.
In one of the intersecting streets
he was In the tranquil If loquacious
enjoyment Of an evening Of rest and
relaxation at his Tenth avenue hang
out, maltorium where the hops flag
ons are high hats and hard.stuff meas
ures are short-handled dippers.
He greeted me cordially and hospi.
tably.
Il read that ting O. your'n in the
Horseback magazine-ye.eh, l gotcha,
The Cav-leer-about the macin' game"
said he, certain note Of depreciation
in his tone. "All I gotta say about
that piece is this: It was and 1t
wasn't. witch is long f'r yes and no.
"Y' don't wanta lisn to these pam
ners that blurt that this town is goin'
bad. amt sayin', un'stand, that the
macin' ting is what 1t useta be here.
But it's still wort vile If you know
how to duck the bulls and are hep to
character-readin'. Them's the two
main wires: Flaggin' the rough-necks
and KNOWN how to slant up the right
marks to brace.
90 course the first ting a macer's
got to remember that expects to have
the price of all the suds he can lick
up when he knocks of woik is to keep
from gittin' the souse on when he's
operatin' his beat. This is hard, o.
course; but it's gotta be done by
panner that wants to make success
o. pannin'.
"Y'see, the souse can be put of till
after shutdown, and it'll be all the bet
ter after you've waited for it. Jes'
take a peek at the fun I'm havin' wit
meself right now, fr instance" and
Mulvey the Macer staked himself to
another dipperful Of the fine old mel
low bourbon, only five cents" as the
large placard on the barrel proclaimed
It to be, and tossed the heavy shot
into his system without the use Of
water or any other ameliorating fluid
as chaser, with every evidence Of
extreme relish.
"As I'm chatterin'," he went on,
that's the first gag f'r the macer that
act'ally expects to succeed-to hold
OF on his package till his woik's been
done and all the loose duff's been
nickod nm oud pouchod
"The idee is, y get me, there's q
lot O. folks that objec' to diggin' up
to a macer that looks like he wants
to lean again lamp-post of a. awnin'
pole while he chirps f'r the change.
I don't know why they should objec'.
but a lot O. them do, as I'm sayin'.
Different macers has got different
fdees about the kind O. people that's
the best perducers. FIR mine, allus
make 1t point to brace the big stifts.
The little terriers amt diggers gen'a
~. The sawed.off stiff nearly allus
wheels on the macer and calls him a
bum and gifts the clutch on his cane
and swells out his 26.inch chest and
turns back his head and tries to make
hisself look like the picture O. the
bantam champeen. 1t don't make no
difference what kind Of a ditty the
panner slips the little man in the way
o spiel, it's allus or nearly allus
the same. He gifts the hoof.
1.-THE big stifts f'r mine, all the
time, as I'm sayin', and the kind wit
the swell scenery. l allus pick out q
swinger that pounds along as If he's
got mortgage on the pavement and
swaggers like a man.o'-wars-man at
: the beginnin' O. four-day pickle.
Y can allus dope 1t that a heavy.
breezer like this has got the change
right in the little side kick, and that
he likes to hear what a warm rag he
is.
"'Maje,' says l to one O. that kind,
'youse looks like youse can chuck
minnit's time to lis'n to the chirp O
distress of a poor bloke that's hit the
coral reef and then sort O. slant his
raiment over wit envy in me wicks.
NJ he mooches right on, sayin', on
your way, DO, before | swing on youse
fr luck fall in half step behind
him and hurl him that one about my
onct bein able to flash the same kind
- -wA'i"rino toys that he's maxim
such a hit wit. That gen'ally snags
the big stifts. They pretend that
they're not listenin', but they're lap
pin it in all right, and then all you've
gotta do is to keep up that line O
bunk, slippin' in one or two about ben
ev'lent count'nances and prosperous,
charitable looks, and all the like O
that and nine times outa ten you'll
see the big stifts mitt maxim fr the
change-kick in his tunac.
Vile he's goin' f'r the chunk o
Change you wanta nudge In that one
about his lookin as if he'd never had
a days bum luck in his life, and then
he'll come back:
Don't you ever git that idea In
your bean-you don't know what hard
luck means.
Il Soat know wy it is that ev'ry
guy in the swell push. w'ether he was