The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-07-07
THE NEW OYsTERDOM.
The Babbler and the Doctrinaire In Prose
and Poetry Rich and Rare.

you crlDDed that, 1weedledee shouted
rweedledum angrily. and anyway. you
re not in the Cabinet. That talk Is fol
BUSINESS men and you are not n bushes,
nan, are you. Alice?"
What difference does that make" re-
lied Tweedledee. "Of course Alice doe,
lot know anything about business any
more than they do so It's all right"
$50 it's about business. Is it?' asked
Alice.
81 said oysters" said Tweedledee firmly
and l don't like your spirit about thes,
hings. always having your own opinion
Ike that. Now here goes:
THE world was going merriiy.
The workers had no rest.
tThs case was psychological
As you perhaps have guessed.
For only evil men could think
or anything depressed.
The Dootrinaire spoke angrily
Because ne knew his acts
Were right and all the world admired
His labor union pacts.
It's very rude OF them he sasA
Coarseiy 30 cite mere facts'
18th. Babbler and the Doctrinairs
Were walking eide BY side:
They laughed like anything to see
The chance within their reaohI
Men wore content to govern once,
But they aspired to teach.
OF twice two hundred Congressmen
Should talk solid year.
Do you suppose the Babbier said.
That they could make II clearr
why doubt It. said the Doctrinsirs.
For only base men fear7'
oh. oysters, come ana walk with us'
The Bsbbler did beseech:
"A pleasant walk and cheering talk
To all OF you from each;
Hear words OF wisdom as you stroN
Along the sandy beach,
"a large fat oyster looked At them
But never a word he said:
The large fat oyster winked his eyes
And shook his heavy head.
Meaning he had his horrid DOUBTS
or where such talking led.
The Oysters didn't want to come
Remembering woes of yore.
Yet thick and fast they came AZ last
And more and more and more,
All hopping through the frothy waves
And scramblinG TO the shore
THE Bsboier Cpoiished diplomacy.
Talked on a lap or %,
And then both rested on . eoch
Conveniently low.
And all the little Oysters stood
And waited In q row.
I" TIL talk no more the Babblsr ssid.
Just now OF vexing things.
Grape Juice, tho cash In lecture tours
And Doves OF Peace with wings.
Nor why I'm criticised so much
For doing righteous things.
To-day my friend the Dootrinsirs
who once talked OF hat
And how he hoped some time TO crush
Your tumble servant fiat
To-day my friend the Doctrinairs
VIII tell you where you're at
And thus then spoke the Doctrinairs,
I purpose TO make clear
what l think best for Oysterdom
And end at last your fear.
Convinced my aims are pure and high.
have convoked you here.
For I am credibiy informed
Attorney Jim has tried
oyster uplift OF every sort
Baked griiied and raw and fried
CT like them best tho Rabbier said,
With lemon on the side.')
"And now the thing you dread so much
(But very foolishiy)
Has come at last. oh oysters dear,
And shall set you free.
Howeer you doubt all other men
Have confidence In me.
Men talked OF freedom once, alas
They did not know my brand!
Now for the first New Freedom shines
Upon this happy land
II shines on you, ah. little ones,
Why tremble as you stsnd7'
Attorney Jim had COINS IN sight
The oysters knew their fate
And turned 20 nee the righteous three.
But now II was too late.
The noble trio picked them up
And ate and ate and ate.
1T seems a shame the Babblsr said.
To play them such trick
After we've brought them out so far
And made them trot so quick
IT'S freedom said the Doctrinaire,
Just cut that lemon stick
we weep for you the trio said.
We deeply sympathize'
with sobs and tears they sorted out
Holding their pocket handkerchief
Before their streaming eyes
Oh oysters, said the Doctrinalrs
The world Is free TO day
But there was none e. answer him
For some had run away.
And all around the empty shells
Upon the soashorc lay"
Il like the Babbler best" said Alic
because you see he was little sorry q
the poor oysters"
THAT was because he had to hur,
away 10 "A lecture and couldn't eat We
many himself" answered Tweedledee.
They all cried didn't they?" said ak
"but the Doctrinaire said he wanted mo
lemon and Attorney Jim Just ate al
ate, 1t seems to me that they We're all
little queer about It,"
That's what the oysters thought, toe
replied Tweedledee. but the Doctrinai
said that II was his firm opinion al
profound conviction that they had
right to think about II at all"
Now. there you 40 with your collie
words" responded Tweedledum enViously
Looking Glass Land Is very puzzllng
said Alice. 81 hope ] won't have to Ii
here all my life"
"You shouldn't hope that" said Two
dledee reprovingly. Everybody here
actuated by only the highest motives"
ALBANY, July 6. y. Y. z.