Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-29
EQ18 III


middle ages, one happy afternoon, and
clad in his buskins and bearing mace
he went forth to have his way with the
Goddess Jollity.
He had merry time He walloped sew
with the mace (which weighed twelve
pounds, and succeeded in putting the fear
of MAYHEM into the hearts Of number
of friends for whom he had been laying
quite while And when he had bumped
the pumpkins and smashed the standards
of polite living he retired home and wen.
TO bed.
Came then number of Young men
with bladders and confetti They had
their sway and disappeared into the his
of their going.
And finally there came the real April
fool boyle. He was d man who was one
third Spanish inquisitor one-third devil
and one-third dyspeptfc And he was the
one who devised all of the modern little
tricks By which the youth of our coun-
try entertain themselves when the glorious
LIST of April gives them right to commit
assault with intent to kill. any other
crimes without fear of the police.
Why did this mythical individual inau-
gurate such a custom? Why did this I'M
namable boyle attempt such heathenish
practices? That is what the Observer set
forth to ascertain
Young men might think that trailing
this bogie to his primal haunts is a simple
thing The learning of his reasons, al
most anybody will tell you, is one of the
easiest feats in the world. But let US see,
Lat. OH
the farts. And we must have time.
The Observer went into the Office of a
broker. He is the latest, most comfort
able looking broker in Washington. Look
ing at him. after You have bought stock
on ten-point margin, you are convinced
that YOU cannot lose. You say to your
self that this man is one of the few sta
bic citizens of the country. Stable? Why
whole flock of stables only begins to in
dictate his solidity. He measures sixty
eight inches around the waist, and pos
sesses four separate and distinct chins.
When the Observer came into the brok-
er's Office the broker rose. The Observer
was pleased. 1t is not often that men
bound out of their chairs meet him.
IT said the broker. hoarsely, lam 60
ing to fire that boy
What boy" asked the Observer.
That cussed whiffletreed, office boy of
mine" responded the broker with emo
ton
All the tianc he was reaching in q gen
eral southeasterly direction and Juggling
at himself.
What seems to be the trouble?'' in
Guircd the Observer.
The trouble" said the broker, with
that direct simplicity which comes with
great sorrow. lis that the Office boy put a
pin iii my chair
WHAT
THE first time" continued the broker,
Il thought it was a coincidence. 1 said
nothing. Then 1 sat on it again. And !
will wear it was the same identical pin.
/ am no stickler. l know that boys will
be boys. But no flapdoodled buckwheat-
ed, gallyranged, imitation of a demented
gorilla is going to stick pins into me
three times in succession without my
saying something about it,
He giowered in grim, triumphant sort
of way
Il will fire him. said the broker with
relish. las soon as he gets back. Fur
thermore. | think l will kick him out of
the office. 1t will help my feelings
some
This was clearly an unpropitious time
to come in for an April fool discussion.
But the Observer, knowing that worse
things might befall him. plunged in
Why" said he. do you think anybody
invented April Fools day?'
The broker smiled sardonically.
You haven't got the fool bunch that
April Fools day only occurs on the LIST
of April, have your" he asked.
THAT was my impression replied the
Observer modestly-
Well said the broker you are
wrong. dead wrong.
Il don't get that
Then said the broker, Il will have
to speak brutally. April Fools day oc-
ours wherever you happen to have an
office boy around. 1t isn't a custom. 1t
is barbaric youthful habit And If
you'll wait until that boy of mine comes
in I'll show you how to cure it.
There was a quiet spell while the
broker rubbed the place where the pin
had been. That broker was evidently
all cut up.
Yes he resumed. after he had patted
himself. this idea of April Fools day is
merely an excuse for three hundred and
sixty-fve days of foolishneS I suppose
that boy of mine thought he was smart.
But
But this sounded too ominous. 1t was
like the happy thoughts which Bluebeard
l.. sa-av, hob cod