The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1914-05-08

Three Months to Learn the
 Area in Square Miles of the
 Atlantic, Get Posted on Rec
 ords of Famous Globe TrOt-
 ters, and Find Out Where to
 Go.
 It ought not to take more than three months to prepare for your nrst grip abroad Probably you can do it in less than that, if you are one of those who learn rapidly; say, two months and a half, ten weeks.
 There used to be species of trav- eiler who greeted you with, sYes. it's over the big pond for me tomorrow, or ssGood-by old man. I'm sailing to- morrow: over the same old mud hole, you know,s with such an unpremedi- tated air that you felt sure he had made up his mind to- go only 9. mo- ment before he met you You envied him You fancfed him setting forth on his long Journey with about as much fuss and preparation as the av- craze man devoted to a ride in the subway. Certainly one who could talk % casually of crossing the big pond or the mud hole wasted much time getting ready for it. He was eterna11y prepared If he packed more than night shirt and a tooth brush into his grip before catching the boat. you would have been deeply disappointed in him. Eef
 '.Good-by.'' you said. "How long win you be gone2''
 eOh, just little run over. I'll be back before you know it." he told you, and off he went
 The species is now extinct A least that is the impression you get from the output of Travellers Guides and Hints to Tourists and books on ArH~nx <<n For he frir lis mo place on land sea, for this Ffnnigan of travellers. this member of the In-Again-Out-Again School of Tourists He has gone, this time new ssr to come back, judging by the rules which now govern the going and com ing of all who would visit Europe. The trip itself has become a career and the preparataon for it is a serious business
 WE'LL TO KNOW YOUR OCEAN.
 It no longer does to talk -hippant1y rof thS big pond and the same old mud hole Such remark is at once a confession that you have not studied your travellers guide. wherein are set forth the Biggest Bodies of Water'sa Beginning with the Pacific Ocean area in square miles. s0.0oo,ooo; average depth. feet. 12,7SO, and ending with Dead Sea. area in square miles, 303; faverage depth. feet, 900 The big bond has been converted into the Att Q. 900, 900 and 12.Oe0 respectively Ob- tviously these figures are accurate, and without thorough Knowledge of them "a man is not qualified so much as to iset foot the gang-p1ank.
 But in preparing for your trip there is great deal to learn before you get down to these figures First of all you should know something about the his tory. development, and theory of the wireless telegraph. the distances from New York of the principal points on the Atlantic Coast, the addresses of the American newspaper offices in Europe the prohibited imports in England, France, Germany and Italy. round-the-wor1d records of the more famous g1obe-trotters, customs regula- efIons abroad, Federal railway systems of the Continent, taxicab charges in London. the fleeing system. tides. ve- 1ocity of sound, porpoises, how to tell time by the ships be11s how to trans late knots into miles, latitude and 1on- gitude. points of the compass, Euro pean currencies. the Gulf Stream, how to compute differences in time between New York and where you are going, baggage regulations, how to carry funds, steamship lanes, and many oth- CT things including a smattering of French, German and Italian for pur- poses of inquiring your way to the nearest cathedral, the postage rates the hours for meals and such things
 The mastering of these facts is now considered an essential part of the preparation for the trip. Some books go great deal further and prescribe a rudimentary knowledge of physics and chemistry in order that the trav- eler may have difficulty translating the temperatures registered by -Reau- .Iaur and centigrade thermometers i'm Ito terms of our own Fahrenheit
 HOW AND WHEN TO FE3E-
 auT f.6 k1,fe< ..4I- essity of starting out with a clear un- derstanding of the English private house fleeing system Herein, you soon discover, your friend with a fondness for the big pond must have encoun- tered no end of embarrassment
 England" your guide book author 1ty tell you, '-is the land of tips. You cannot escape them if you try week end Saturday to Monday at a private house of no great pretension will cost the casual visitor about $1.50, whether men servants or maid servants are em- ployed."
 There follow simple directions Two shillings and six for housemaid and butler In the absence of butler, his fee goes to the parlor maid, with two stil- i1ngs to the housemaid, and a like sum to the boy You should allow about $5 a week for such items, for the book says, English servants carry your luggage and things, and, consequently, expect it Fee them even if the host ess puts a notice in your room asking you not to do it; '-you will usually be successful" says the rule book.
 By the time you have got this far, you wonder whatever your untutored friend did when he had crossed the Dig pond and found himself smack up against the door of an English private house with msid-serEAlts and man servants ana bur-erS and boys, and -parlor-nnaids itching to see how we'll prepared he was. As a week ender he must have cut a sorry figure. Don btless. he could not even tell what