The Washington herald., 1914-12-13


Thea came the famous ''Tlpperary-
song. introduced with the remark that
~ the tune was not neutral the words
certainly were. This proved 20 be the
case. for Il was said to be q long way
for Charlie Whitman. J. p. Morgan. and
many other celebrities. The verse for
the President carried this refrain:
It's a long way for woodrow Wilson.
It's q long way TO 50;
It's long way for woodrow Wilson.
For another term, you know;
What win be the outcome
Remains to be seen;
It's long, long way for Woodrow Wilson
tn nineteen-sixteen-
An old Party Comes Back.
While the guests were discussing the
next course, q roped arena was prepared.
Camp chairs were arranged in each cor
ner and when everything was arranged.
announcement was made that Chief OF
Police Sylvester had granted permission
to the club to put on n priZe fight for
the championship Of the United States.
The contestants were Kid Democracy,
present champion, and G. o. p, knocked
out In 1872 but desiring to show that he
could come back. Bull moose, ''the
greatest referee that ever stood between
two parties" took his place on the side
lines. G. o. p. came limping in on a
pair OF crutches, wearing q ring costume
and heavily bandaged. He was accom-
panied by his seconds, Penrose and
Barnes, while Charlie Murphy and J.
Ham Lewis acted as seconds for Democ-
racy. Under the rule neither contestant
was allowed to speak for more than five
minutes. A running dialogue on the is
sues of the recent campaign had a laugh
in every line, but finally G. o. p. slugged
his opponent with his tariff knuckles and
the fight was over.
Gentlemen" said G. o. P. triumphant
ly, "beheld in me an old party who can
come back
A Reference to Roosevelt.
BY way of further diversion the or
chestra began to play the melody of
the popular song, I'm On Ny Way to
MandaIay." Thereupon appeared a men,
ber OF the club, made up to resemble
Col. Roosevelt. He sang a pathetic par
Ody in fearful style, ending with this re-
frain:
I'm on my way to Oyster Bay,
Beneath my shelt'ring roof I've got to say.
sing q song
OF things gone wrong
On the last election day.
I'm no longer trusted.
They have got me fiustered,
and the Big Sticks busted.
That's why I'm on my way to oyster Bay.
I've come to say good-by.
Some Dialogue Worth Hearing.
One OF the cleverest skits Of the even
ing showed the entertainment committee of
the club in the act OF preparing a stunt
for dinner. 1t was entitled Behind the
Scenes" and the members of the commit
tee. while going over their various parts,
INDUCED in lively comment respecting the
persons mentioned. just as they do, it
are really trying to evolve a feature OF a
program. The skit was supposed to repre-
sent meeting of the Cabinet, the pre-
pared dialogue being read from a printed
slip. and the interjections being thrown
into conversation apparently at random.
For instance:
Mr.. McAdoo," said one member read !
ing from his copy. "how Is the Federal /
Reserve Board getting along without |
me?"
'I don't know" was the response. 81 |
haven't seen John Shelton Williams since |
oh" interjected another member, |
don't you think We ought to cut John |
SkeltOn Williams out?'
That" Immediately responded some |
one else, lis what Wall Street tried to |
do"
When the dialogue showed that Con-
Daniels had spoken there, some one want !
ed to know il the line shouldn't be cut |
out because 1t was a little rough on |
Daniels" However. it was allowed to re-
main, as was the line that the Presidents |
letters of Endorsement nearly finished |
every Democratic candidate for Congress- |
Incidentally, some one took occasion to re- |
mark that every liar doesn't make an |
income, but every income makes a liar" |
an assertion which was greeted with much |
appreciative laughter. Then this little bit |
OF dialogue also caused much amusement: |
Don't We want to say something about |
Wadsworth, of New York, and Harding, |
Of Ohio?"
Mo-, we've got too much politics al
ready. l tell you, the guests won't get |
it. They're not politicians"
If they're not in politics already they |
are trying to butt in
But you must keep down to the level
Of the most ignorant guest, or they won't
see the point
Maybe the average intelligence will
be higher at this dinner. A lot of Repub-
leans have come back"
When Secretary Redfeld, reading
from manuscript. endeavored to pre-
sent a raft of figures showing exports