Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1914-10-09

| son again be candidate for the pres
idency he may raise the bid of the
Republicans notch in an effort to
same role.
The reverent Mr.. Carter, vehement
ly calling on the Almighty to vouch
for his political veracity and perspi-
cacity, recalls the German Kaiser's
fcrvent gratitude for Gods brilliant
cooperation with the crown prince in
licking the allies.
The "Wilson panic" was Matched by
the Tazcwell Republican and is grow
ing its pin feathers under the moth
ering care of an imported hen.
Rev. Carriers divorce from the pull
pit may not have been pcrcmptory,
but it seems to be permanent. His
reference to past campaigns indi-
cate that the national campaign COM
nittee has found his services valua-
BILE and he probably has discovered
that spelling on the hustings is more
lucrative and congenial than the pulpit
In word, the Rev. Carriers windy
effort was an amusing manifestation
of ignorance out for an airing and
gall parading on stills.
In his Introductory dissertation on
Saturday evening ReZ j.. Teuton
Herman modcstly declared that he is
IL lineal descendent of Gustavus
Adolphus and the founder of the
German empire-a gentleman named
Hermann. According to Mr.. Hartman,
Mr.. Slemp is also of German descent.
The second battle of the Marine will
be fought Nov. Bird with Rose pur-
suing on the left flank and Irvine on
the right.
When he gets up to make a speech,
Our friend, j. Teuton Hermann
1t nearl always is peach"
Although he speaks in German;
And how the ubject theme may gang
The time and place determine
Last Saturday twas harangue.
The next day twas sermon.
If Bascom Slemp has all the sanity
qualities attributed to him by Revs.
Carter and lIarman he ought to quit
politics and go to preaching. 1t is
much easier, though perhaps less
profitable, to convert sinner than
to change Il Democrat.
Figures don't lie but liars juugglc
figures.
1t was a tense and fearful moment
for the Republican bluegrass barons
who are marketing their export cat
tie at eight and nine cents per pound
and who have refused $l.50 per bush
el for their wheat when the Rev. Mr.,
Carter had finished his hvid fancy
sketch of the "Wilson panic"
The Panicy Twins-Col. O'Brien
and Rev. Carter. Two souls with but
a single thought. two hearts that
quake as one.
Bascom Slemp is nice, modest
fellow, with the face of poet and
the temperament of Il woman. Some
how we had not thought of any sub
division of him as being "granatic, "
but according to the Rev Carter he
is gentle composite of granite and
iron.
The tariff wall erected by the
European war is the illegitimate off
spring of the Republican policy of
protection. Had it been born in
wedlock Hon. j. N. Hartman would
proudly stand sponsor for it.
idle miners" was one of the phras-
es used by Rev. Carter in his calam-
ity zap Saturday night. The N. &
W., Virginian, and C. & o. railroads
shipped more cola last month than IN
any previous month since they were
Incorporated, say official reports. Will
intelligent voters swallow such reek-
ing rot?
That frost in India" anecdote re-
lated by Rev. Hartman Saturday night
fit the local situation like a glove. The
meeting began with frost and closed
in blizzard.
The last Cleveland administration,
with it's inherited panic, has so long
been the chief stock in trade of Re-
publican spell binders, that it's hoary
platitudes cling to their vocal chords