Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1914-06-05
Bill Clerk Had a
Crouch

THe Bill Clerk merely grunted In
response to the Cashiers MORN
ing greeting and then went to the
vault after his books, which he slam
med on the desk with unnecessary
violence
"Your hair pulling, Johnnie, my
boy?" asked the Cashier, kindly.
None of your business!" replied
the Bill Clerk, opening the journal.
"True," murmured the Cashier
"Indisputably true. And yet 1t seems
to me that the reminder might have
been couched in more delicate Ian
guage. It could have been less in the
nature Of a rebuff; not 80 abrupt, per-
haps-politer, more urbane.
ITO man up tree, or occupying
some, similar point Of vantage, It
might appear that my solicitude de-
served better return. You under
stand that 1 am making all allow
ances for your throbbing temples and
the bad taste in your mouth"
ooh, cut 1t out" growled the Bill
Clerk
"Politeness is not your strong
point, is it?" remarked the Cashier
IA pity! If you only knew it, it
would add quite little to your
chances of success in life, this polite
ness think. A deferential manner, a
courteous smile, mild tone and an
assumption of interest in the other
fellow will carry you far. don't say
that everybody likes polite person,
but do say that he is almost sure to
carry his point If his politeness is
consistent Take me, for example
If 1t won't inconvenience you too
much"
GO to grass!" said the Bill Clerk.
I'm sorry that l am unable to ac-
cede to your request at the present
moment" returned the Cashier. "It
irks me to refuse, but my duty
obliges me to remain here. l shall go
to grass as soon as the labors of the
day are completed, however, and if l
can serve you there l need not say
that l shall be ineffably delighted"
you're dead right, you needn't"
said the Bill Clerk.
Returning to the subject of po-
liteness," continued the Cashier. "I
was about to remark that, contrary
to the idea that some people enter
tain, there is nothing unmanly or der
ogatory, as it were, in displaying a
certain urbanity of speech and action.
Courtesy is an inexpensive habit
and one that any young man should
try to cultivate. You can be firm
and polite, you can be abusive and
polite, If you want to.
when l say it is to be regretted
that your behavior, at times, inevita
bly, invites comparison with that of
the domestic hog, you will no doubt
grasp my meaning. OF course, /
don't want to hurt your feelings; but
may be allowed to hint that you fall
considerably short of the apprecia-
tion that some hogs show.
when l try to scratch your back,
you turn and rend me. / might have
let you smell my menthol inhaler If
you hadn't treated me so cruelty.
might have wrung towels out of the
water cooler to apply to your fever
ed brow"
who's been telling you that my
brow was fevered?" inquired the Bill
Clerk, sarcastically.
1T is logical deduction" explain
ed the Cashier. "At the best of times
and under the most favorable cir
something to be desired by your sin
cere well-wishers; but this morning
you are unusually-shall we say
brusque?"
81 don't give a continental what
you say, If you'll only say it where
can't hear you," said the Bill Clerk.
"I can't stop you, but, for goodness
sake, go out into the alley"
"Politeness"- began the Cash
fer.
Excuse me-" interrupted the Bill
Clerk, "but / would esteem 1t an es-
pecial favor If you would be kind
enough to contract your facial orifice
while / concentrate my mind on my
work. At another time-say thirty
or forty years hence-1 shall be most
happy to listen to your edifying con-
verse, but just now I am hardly in
the condition to give it the rapt at
tention that 1t deserves"
"I'll close right up" said the
Cashier. Pray pardon me, my dear
young friend. But what's this un-
happy condition of yours, SOM"
Boil" replied the Bill Clerk.
Now, will you shut up?"