davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21
STUDENT WAS TOO PREVIOUS
Intended Joke on Professor Came Back
With Rebound That Must
Have Been Felt.

A good story is told at the expense
Of an undergraduate at certain unk
versity. He was attending the chemi-
cal lectures of distinguished, If not
popular. professor. who had announc-
ed for his next lecture some expert
les With laughing-gas. The stu
\ \ who knew that persons under
nsuence Of laughing-gas we're not
bnsible for their words or actions,
4 an opportunity OF telling the pro-
sssor some home truths with I'm
jpunity.
z On the afternoon Of the lecture the
professor called for volunteer for the
experiments to be made. and our I'M
dergraduate promptly came to his as.
lsistance, to the amusement of the
class, which had been taken into his
confidence
e The bag containing the hilarious gas
vaa duly affixed to the students
mouth. ana he commenced to inhale
vigorously. The effect was magical
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21
SEES MARKS OF DEGENERAcY
In the Opinion Of Sir Gilbert Parker,
the Modern Race Of Man Is Los
Inc Its Senses.

The astonishing question of Sir Gil
bert Parker, Are our senses growing
less keen--in fact. degeneratingf has
aroused great interest SIR Gilbert
thinks our life may have been made
SO mechanically easy TINT some of
our senses are losing their vitality
and usefulness.
Motoring might be instaA-ced by
some as evidence that the acuteness
Of seeing and hearing Is on the In
crease" said Sir Gilbert recently.
"The chauffeur's marvellous quick
ness Of eye. by which he observes
danger. and by hairbreadth, es-
capes It by skilled precision, might
be pointed to, but regard that as
a kind OF specialization, exceptionally
narrow and confined to limited area.
TOO often the chauffeur Is like a
horse In blincers-he can only see one
way down marrow lane. Many acc
denls are due to limited and made
ouats observation. know chauf-
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21
Sorry He spoke.

Captain McTweed, Scotsman to
the backbone. and, moreover, dis
tinguished officer In distinguished
Highland regiment. had an unbounded
admiration for his countrymen, and
never lost an opportunity OF extolling
their virtues.
One evening at mess he was enter
tanning several guests. and at the con.
clusion of the meal. as he and his
party were leaving the room, he hap
pened to notice magnificent speci-
men of a piper. clad In full Highland
costume. standing by the doorway.
Wishing to draw attention to the
mans splendid proportions. he stop.
ped. and:
From what part of Scotland do
you comet" he inquired.
"Tipperary. SORT replied the man.
with punctilious salrts
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21

Mr.. william A Radford will answer
questions and give advice FREE OF
COST on all subjects pertaining to the
subject of building. for the readers of this
paper. On account of his wide experience
as Editor. Author and Manufacturer, he
is. without doubt. the highest authority
on all these subjects. Address all inquiries
to william A. Radford, No. 1927 Prairie
avenue. Chicago, Ill. and only enclose
two-cent stamp for reply.
The demand for small kitchens
seems to continue. The space for
merly given to a good, large kitchen
is being devoted to other purposes,
not with the idea of crowding the
kitchen out of existence, but for the
reason that small, compact kitchen
containing the various convsniences
near at hand Is an advantage over
the old style.
The keeping of perishable foods in
the ice box and the possibility OF
buying supplies in small quantities
easily and quickly has its influence.
We now have many special cupboards
to hold various supplies and utensils
where they are out Of the way to be
easily reached when wanted, all of
which help to reduce the size of the
working end OF the house.
There are kitchen cabinets with
pockets for everything required for
cake baking and other cooking; the
little upright cupboard to hold a
broom and dust pan; another similar
cupboard for the ironing board with
shelf for the irons and the gas
heater that heats them when 1t is not
in use; the chute to the laundry,
where you drop soiled towels, cloth
ing, ETC., out of the way not to be
handled again until wash day; all of
these little contri7anees, any one of
which seems small In itself, have
their influence on the kitchen arrange
ment.
In putting in the partition on one
side, or one end. the studding often
is made double, leaving space of a
foot or so that may be boxed In to
form these different cupboards in
such way that they take up very
little room.
One part Of this double partition, q
little more than a foot square, Is
boarded around three sides. the front
side being closed with door. There
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21
First Floor plan.

got worse each year until the house
wives ordered them taken out, and
you could not blame them.
1t often happens that one side or
one end OF q small modern kitchen
is all taken up with small cupboards.
cupboards with doors that cover che
whole opening so there are no dark
corners. The shelves are loose so
they may be lifted out for cleaning,
the cupboard is neatly painted and
everything Ia sanitary and clean.
There Is more comfort and convent
ence In set OF such cupboards than
In a whole. large kitchen without
them.
In all well arranged houses the
laundry Ia built under the kitchen.
This is done for several reason3
You want the kitchen and bathroom
over the laundry because of the wa
ter supply and waste pipes. They
must be as short as possible for
economy. for protection against frost
in winter and because they work bet.
ter when short You want each one
of these rooms In the rear of the
house because II is more convenient,
besides. you want the front for other
purposes.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21
PIty the Poor rheapIan.

Here is an amusing dialogue which
is reported to have taken place in a
suburban theater. Utility lady, hur.
rying in. breathless. i've minutes after
the call for distribution OF parts In
new spectacular production: What
do get?" Stage manager, promptly:
You get quarters fine for bein'
late, and you're the Empress of India
In the prologue and Queen of the
Night in the last act; and you don't
want to show up In them old blue
satin shoes again. for you've got to
sit on a gold throne ten feet high.
with your foot on the neck OF the
King Of Persia Now you come here
tomorrow at ten. letter perfect, or
you'll be back In the second row, car
ryin' a tin sword. before you know
whare you are!"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21
The Refusal.

Apropos of the starvation rate paid
for magazine poetry. Jerome s. Nc
Wade. the millionaire sociologist of
Duluth, said:
ION a recent Summing trip gave
some aid to magazine poet. Apropos
Of the current poetry rates. the poor
fellow told me story.
How much do you want? an edi-
tor asked poet, ''for this sonnet Sc
quence on white slavery?'
1.-TWO cents line, II you please.
SIR the poet humbly answered.
Don't slam the door as you go
out said the editor"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21
CHAPTER IiI.-con.Inued.

Rankin brought him pink envelope
upon little silver tray. Rankin was
MOST careful to bring everything upon
a tray. Broadway steadfastly main
tanned that IL a drowning man asked
Rankin to bring help he would first
20 to get tray to take 1t to him on.
The pink envelope was marked with
an elaborate monogram, of which the
dominant letter was a &C." It was
from her whom he had left so short a
time before. Mrs. Gerard. by means
of 1t, implored him to become a mem
Der OF a theater and supper party for
that evening. The note almost was
affectionate
The theater and supper parties were
to both occur in Broadway! All.
Broadway! 1t would be hard to leave
1t by the chilly by-path. death, which
leads out of the light into the shad-
ows!
It occurred to Broadway Jones that
he might decently accept this invita-
ton, even II the crowd which she
Jould have would probably be not
quite to his liking. All, there were
crowds upon the thoroughfare he
loved which we're so fully to his lik-
ing!
And then another plan flashed into
his mind. Why not give farewell
supper? No one but himself would
know II was farewell supper-all the
rest would think 1t Just the best af-
fair OF many fine affairs which Broad
way Jones had given. The restaurant
which gave 1t would be paid undoubt-
edly out Of the residue OF his estate,
and II there wasn't any residue the
restaurant could well afford to lose. II
had many thousands of his money.
He would make this dinner-no; 1t
would be better to make 1t a supper
the finest little supper which had yet
electrified Broadway. 1t should
sparkle. 1t should fizz, II should re-
sound with joyful chords and merry
laughter; in short that supper should
achieve the limit and surpass It. Then
would he be more content to go.
He, locked the poison and the fire.
arm carefully In desk drawer. He
called Rankin. and. to that staid serv-
ants great delight, made out the list
Of invitations to the widest supper
he had ever planned; he telephoned to
his good friend. the restaurateur Re.
turning to the study he took the poi
son and the pistol from the drawer
and put them in another. The second
drawer had two locks, while the first
drawer had but one. He refused again
to think about them until after he had
given the extraordinary supper.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21
c6I EDWARD MARSHALL
Il PLAY OF GTORGFM.CO

you down, Broadway" asked the love
ly Inez
who is IT, Broadway? Who could
possibly have the heart or been the
fool to do it,"
Mrs. Gerard, his neighbor, bent on
him glance SO languishing that he al
most had to turn his face away.
mo girl has ever turned me down,
he said. endeavoring to be gay. mo
girl has ever had chance to turn me
down. mean"
Realizing that this did not sound
gallant, being instinctively, by nature
a gallant, he would have modified II
IL he could. but the howl of approba
ton which arose from all the men, the
chorus of mock criticism which arose
from all the women, drowned his voice
From all the women except one. That
one sat on his right, that woman was
widow and was worth million.
mo girl could turn you down." she
murmured.
All, that thought which so repeat
eddy had festered In his brain! Here
were millions which admired him
Here were millions which would pay
the debts which had piled up, which
would make the bottle with the
crimson label and the weapon with the
blued-steel barrel quite unnecessary!
Here were millions which would solve
the last one of his difficulties and fol-
which, II he accepted them, he could
offer adequate return In devotion
which should be at once that Of son
for an indulgent mother and a near
drowned man for his rescuerl Why
not? Why not? Why not marry Mrs
Gerard?
mo girl could turn you down." had
been her words.
In the hurly-burly of the questions
and the answers, the frolic and the
nonsense, he scarcely had an opportu
nifty to speak to her in tender words
but he answered her by scribbling on
her menu card:
Couldn't your"
He felt certain that she gasped with
pleasure.
why do you say such things?" she
scrubbed.
Because 1 love you." the unfortu
nate youth answered.
Il love you. too" she scrubbed in
reply.
what sort of game are you two
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21

playing there?" demanded Robert WAL
lace gally.
Don't interrupt, Bob" Broadway or
dered. IT'S a new kind of game OF
hearts It's played with menu cards.
Shut up!"
He turned again to his delighted, II
ancient partner In the novel pastime.
1T can't be true" he scrubbed
1T Is true" she wrote.
win you marry me?" he scrawled.
With coy look at him which made
him feel little faint. but without an
instant's hesitation. YES" she an
swered.
II was tremendously TO the relief OF
the young host that Bob Wallace, at
about this moment. rose and said that
he must leave.
II seemed to Broadway that the
others mattered less. For Wallace his
affection was SO genuine that It includ-
ed an intense desire to hold the mans
respect. Signing with relief he called
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21
lnesndlary Rabbit.

A Walla Walla man is charged with
endeavoring to annihilate a rabbit
colony with the aid of pint OF kero-
sene and a lucifer match. A rabbit
was soaked in the liquid and touched
of with match. Whereupon. with a
beautiful understanding of the fitness
of things, the blazing creature bur
rowed into the nearest haystack, while
thousands of amused rabbits sat
around and watched the fun. No in
surance.-Cleveland Plain Dealer
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21
Important Court peelslon.

A decision that will be OF assistance
to executors In settling estates com.
prising a large amount Of securities.
was handed down the. court OF ap-
peals of New York In the case Of Luke
v. Lockwood VS.. U. s. Steel corpora
ton. The court held that foreign
corporation having an office in this
state for the transfer and registry OF
its corporate stock may be compelled
to make such transfer at It's New
York office on demand OF the local
executor OF a testator who was resi-.
lent in foreign country at the time
of his death. and the stock was in
the possession of the executor.
The court ruled that the doctrine
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21

The student began to abuse the pro-
lessor in terms which are unknown in
polite circles.
The professor lent patient ear to
this testimony to his character, and
then. turning to the class. said, with
the suspicion of twinkle in his eye;
You see. gentlemen, how powerful
this gas is, when even the anticipation
of 1t produces such effects. will now
proceed to turn on the gas"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21
SYNOPSIS.

jackson Jones, nicknamed broadway
because of his continual giorification of
New York's great thoroughfare. is anx-
yss 70 set away rpm nus nome .oMn =.
very angry because Broadway refuses to
settle down and take a place In the gum
factory In which he succeeded to his
fathers interest. Judge Spotswood in
FORMS Broadway that s250.o00 left him by
his father Is at his disposal Broadway
makes record time in heading for his
New York friend, Robert Wallace. Broad
way creates a sensation by his extrava-
,gance on the White Way. Four years
pass and Broadway suddenly discovers
debt. He applies to his uncle for loan
and receives a package OF chewing gum
with the advice to chew II and forget his
troubles. He quietly seeks work without
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21

In this plan the outside cellar stair
way goes down directly into the laun-
dry which makes It convenient on
wash-day. The same pair OF steps
comes in handy in carrying out ashes.
Steam and odor from hot laundry
water is kept in the back OF the house.
and, except in severe cold weather
this back entrance is kept open and
the steam passes outdoors.
It Is natural to put the furnace un-
der the center of the house, in fact.
it is necessary to do SO. Then In
this plan there is a cement or stone
wall Scross the cellar under the par
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21

tltion that separates the parlor from
the sitting room, and the part Of the
cellar to the front is reserved for
fruit and vegetables so that windows
may be left open to keep 1t cool.
The door going into this fruit cellar
is opposite the inside cellar door and
you may have 1t fitted with a lock SO
that you can turn the key and feel
that your fruit in glass jars is per-
fectly safe from boys and from ire
sponsible furnace men.
House cellars have improved very
much since hot air furnaces were
first introduced into domestic econ
omy. We have learned how to build
cellar walls higher and to put in more
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21
To Get Bid Of Bed Ants

Red ants can make house almost
uninhabitable. One can get rid OF
them. however, II one knows how. The
first thing to do Is to find the place
they come FROM. g.. where their
nest is. II 1t be In an accessible spot.
a little kerosene win quickly stop the
trouble. On the other hand. II the
nest be in the wall or under the floor.
find the nearest accessible point. ano
kill the insects on as they appear.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21

that the situs of personal property
owned by decedent is deemed to
be either at his domicile OF at the
domicile of the corporation does not
stand in the way Of such transfer.
since the maintenance of transfer Of
fee here makes this state its domicile
to that extent
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21
Rough on the Old Maids.

In quiet English village there was
recently held a celebration In the
schoolroom at the dedication of new
FIRE engine. 1t was giddy evening.
with three speeches by local clergy
mon and long-winded grafton by a
bald-headed politician. The gem OF the
evening was the following toast:
May she (the fire engine) be- like the
dear old maids of our village always
ready, but never wanted"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21

feur who can see very well ahead of
him. but II he wants to see to the
right or left he has to turn his head
to right or left. Every one knows that
the trained and educated eye can see
to the right and left without turning
the head"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21

windows and better windows. We
now take as much pains in laying
out a good cellar stair with sufficient
headroom. easy treads and sensible
risers. as we do with any other stair.
Such cellar is great contrast from
what we we're accustomed to in our
boyhood days when the heater pipes
were SO numerous and so low that
we couldn't move about and retain
our self-respect. and the place was
so dark that we couldn't see to get
either in or out in the daytime with
out lWntern.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21

Is a hole through the floor into the
laundry with hooks underneath to hold
clothes pocket. which may be a
basket or bag This is the most
sanitary and most approved laundry
chute because 1t does not offer a har-
Dor for mice. 1t may be easily cleaned
and it is just as convenient as the
old fashioned affair that looked bad
and smelled worse. Those lengthy
old laundry chutes, boxed in between
the different floors. collected little
dirt each time from the soiled cloth
ing thrown into them, and they were
SO inaccessible that they could never
be cleaned. As natural result they
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21
June
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. VIII
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21

bank
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Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-05-21

Gro BE coNTINUED.1
Devils Lake weekly world. (Devils Lake, N.D.) 1911-1914, 1914-01-30
IF CoNsTIPATED OR
BILIOUS "UAsUARETs.
FOR SICK HEADACHE, SOUR sTobs
AoH, SLUGGISH LIVER AND
BOWELS.
Get q 1O.cent hox.

Get a 10.ceut box.
Take a Cascaret tonight to cleans
your liver, Stomach and Bowels and
you will surely feel great by morning
You men and ws0a who have head.
ache, coated tsagua can't sleep, aS
bilious, nervsu, upset, bothered with
a sick, gassy, dissrdsred stomach, or
have backache and feel all worn ont
Are you keeping your bowels cleaa
with Cascarets-or merely forcing
2assageway every few days with salts,
:athartic pills or castor oilf
Cascarets Immediately cleanse and
regulate the stomach, remove the our
undigested and fermenting food aud
foul gases; take the excess bile from
the liver and carry off the constipatei
waste matter and poison from the
intestines and bowels.
Remember, a Cascaret tonight will
straighten you out by morning. A
l0.cent box from your druggist meaus
hcalty bowel action; a clear head
and cheerfulness for months. Don't
forget the childrei.
Ito CENT "CAsCARETs"
IS YOUR LAXATIVE
Devils Lake weekly world. (Devils Lake, N.D.) 1911-1914, 1914-01-30

According to the state inspector If
rural schools, only one out Of every
two hundred boys, who live in rural
districts, eve pass the eight grade
in school work. Just where the
trouble lies we are not prepared to
say, but something is radically wrong
and steps should be taken at once to
change this condition. 1t is general
ly considered that North Dakota has
excellent rural schoos, and this being
the case it seems that there should
be no reason why the average schoo,
boy should not be able to get educa-
tion enough to pass him beyond the
eighth grade. Possibly it may be the
faut of the parents in not seeing that
the boys have the proper chance to
get an education. Where does the
blame lay9 Who is responsible9 We
need the best men it is possible to
make out Of our boys and if they
are not given a chance to get the pro-
per education how can we expect that
they will make able men.
Devils Lake weekly world. (Devils Lake, N.D.) 1911-1914, 1914-01-30

ing the views of Mr.. Wilson on the
"rule Of reason" laid down by the
Supreme Court in its definition OF
trade. They may coincide with those
embodied in the bill introduced by
Congressman Stanley, but there is no
Certainty of it, though it is intimat.
ed the bill was %introducede after a
conference with the president. 1t is
a little singular, however, that such a
bill, if it expresses the administration
purpose, should precede the message
and thus steal much of its thunder.
As to the proposition to amend the
Sherman law SO as to eliminate the
reasonability of restraint, even many
Of those most anxious to see the spirit
of the law enforced to the limit will
be doubtful of a proceeding that will
be contrary to the suprem Court
ruling. Why should not the rule of
reason, they will contend, be applied
to everything2 VIII the abrigation Of
the rule to operate to prevent con-
tracts of most characters? Practically
speaking a contract is in its very ma
turo a restraint, a limitation, and the
only question is whether it is reason
able restraint. 1t is a most import-
ant and far-reaching question.
There is 4 feeling, quite general,
that more dtfnition of the Sherman
law would be advantageous-that GER
tain zones of doubt surround it and
should be clarified Ivy enactment; but
there will also be a sound and right
minded opposition to amendment
which will be more drastic and which
will clarity only by it's sweeping re-
striction. What the president may
have to offer in this direction will be
read with both interest and concern.