The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-24
=. JOKERS' BUDGET
Bu PADDY

The squirrels in the warehouse do con-
siderable chattering these cold mornings.
No doubt by this time next week there
will be all kinds of candy kids in town.
The only time that lady wished she
had large hand is when she heaves her
mitt into bon bon box.
1t is claimed that Officer Buck acted as a
Board of Arbitration between England and
Ireland the other morning.
Never argue with woman, it's a sure
sign that your foolish, for she will sure
win even if she has to drown the argument
in tears.
Several of the gents that work outside the
walls were fitted out complete will bull wool
underware and socks the other day. Tailor
Nelson performed the operation.
The cat is out of the sack, our day turn
key has given it out in a stage whisper that
he is going to buy house and lot in the
spring, get married and settle down.
1t is claimed that our Usher took a lay
off the other day to purchase Xmas toys
ing to send them to foreign countries or
use tuSlll III AOllC COuSuilplIOu
81 was going to hang up my socks Xmas
Eve, but don't think Santa Claus would
notice them,'' said Mex the other day.
Don't worry Mex, your socks are strong
enough to make anyone stop and take
notice.
"Say," said Duke as he blows into the
office with blood to the eyes like red louise.
''Did you put me down for four bits on
that Xmas fund.- ''Sure Duke you bet
you're on. Well that's alright, Just be-
gan to feel sorry for you as l thought you
overlooked me.
Duke was admitted to the hospital the
other morning, and tore up the concrete in
the hall getting down to see the cook.
After standing around for about five min
utes she was seen to make sneak out the
back door, muttering to himself, 81 am
cured" Nothing DOING - r
care you a married man?" asked the
Deputy of fresh fish the other day. Ono
aye ban saved eyes well what
church do you belong tor Aye belong to
round church, 'Round Church," "What
kind of church is that?'' Aye ban gued
church, aye divil aye can't corner you up
Night Officer Reems spent million dol
lars in ten minutes the other night. In
fact he went thru the Doodle so fast that it
made Officer Hinton sick and he didn't
come out of it for two days. "Mercy, a
million dollars said Mr.. Hinton as he
moped his brow, "and he is a married man
too why two bits is big money to me
now.
Hugo says the Germans would of won the
war long ago if they had of shut down the
cheese factories in that country when the
war first broke out. 'Why what difference
would that of made asked bystand er.
tVot difference och! Hemil yust tink of
all dem sharp shooters in der cheese places
that do notings but shoot holes in der
cheese
Old Hutch was in danger of getting
pinched, in passing the tea Sunday evening
he stopped in front of Chief Catchum
Buffalo's cell and was about to fill the
Chiefs cup with tea when he stopped and
said: ''No Chief, l would like to do it if
only for old friends sake, but you see
can't, as just read in the papers that it is
against the law to give an injun anything
to drink and l don't want to get pinched. y
''This bachelor hall existence may be all
to the merry for those that like it, but
married life for mine every time.'' Said
Officer Piculell the other morning. "Why
do you know said he, but before he got
any further the Doctor phoned down for
sick call. ''Well so long, said Pick as
he disappeared out the door with the illumi-
nation of double harness happiness spread
all over his face in search of few castor oil
fiends