The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15

of the club ard were admitted as men,
bers.
There was a moment or two of satire
at two bells, or 9 O'Clock. on the deck of
the battleship Friendship, concerning the
uplift movement in the navy.
A young welfare worke-- examined a
class of biucjsckets. Here are some Of
the questions and answers:
What navy yards fOry
Social csnters for the senerl Lplift.
What the best ships in the navy:
The North Carolina and the Raleigh.
What Is naval startegyI
Carrying John Lind from Vera Cruz to Pas.
Christian without hitting ANYBODY know it.
What should CongIess do for the navy:
Abolish the arny.
Secretary Daniels new rules for equal
ity in the navy were cheered with much
enthusiasm. They abolished social rank
directed that officers and sailors should
eat together and that rear admirals
should eat with their knives, and es-
tablished the initiative. referendum and
recall on board each ship. Finally the
crew in secret caucus was to decide
whether to fight or beat it.
At this juncture an old-time petty off,
Ger appeared and with a cat-o'-nine tails
and much shivering my timbers and
blasting my eyes, sent the blue jackets
back to work. This ended the uplift
movement
An UP-to-date Cabaret show.
1t isn't often that Cabaret performers
have such an audience as greeted the
artists at the Gridiron cabaret show last
night. 1t was some show, believe me.
1t was a combination of song and con-
versatioa, with the walters joining in the
choruses and the dialogue in free and
easy fashion. Everything was perfectly
proper, of course. because President
Walker insisted, when the announcement
of the cabaret performance was made.
that all rough STUFF should be cut out
Incidentally. the principal actors were
labelled THE Band % Hope
Two tables, all dolled up for a mid
night supper, were presently surrounded
by eight persons Huerta, Uncle Joe,
the Colonel and Charles Murphy were the
gentlemen while Miss Democracy, Mrs
Grundy, Dame Chance and Miss Suf-
fragette were the ladies" Of the merry
party. Perfect ladies they were, too
with thir eyebrows blackened and their
faces rouged and their gowns cut quite
decollete. Everybody fell in love with
them at once. While they were being
seated-and this wasn't easily accom-
pIished with tight gowns-the Band Of
Hope merrily warbled a song about
lack" with a chorus which had this re-
frain:
watchful walters all We.
Just as watchful can be:
We all want Jobs. the same little jobs viii do.
So watchful walters Is the role play.
The Colonel and Murphy began the
table talk. The former remarked that
the administration is Democratic.
How do / know it?' asked Murphy.
why don't you go to the White House
and demand recognition" suggested the
Colonel.
They might recognize me-" was the
sad reply, amid laughter
HIIarity FalIowed by Pathos.
You know the President. don't your"
asked the Colonel.
Sure" said Murphy. but IL amt mu-
tual," at which everybody hollered. In
order to tone down the hilarity a pathetic
s6ng was sung by Murphy, with this
chorus, a sob going with every line:
You've made me what am today,
hone YOU'RE satisfied;
You've drug and drug me down until
I've safe place to hide.
You've shattered each and every hope
You strng me from the start;
And though feel blne. may God bless you
That's the curse q an aching heart.
Also, the Colonel gave expression to
his sentiments in a musical number, tell
ing how he had been lured away from
the G. o. P. by ambition, but now he
longed to come back. The chorus was
as follows:
Take me back to your 1r,ks again. boys
Opce again let me the big show:
Take me hack and you never win lose me,
For I am winner. you know.
] am tired living outside the ramparts
You need ME Just as I've need of you;
love you. ! want you. need you
Take me back and III always be true
A Little Wilson for Haerta.
incidentally. there was a laugh when
one Of the walters told Huerta that he