Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1914-11-18
CONFESSIONS
OF A FOOL
By M. QUAD
Copyright. 1914. by Associated Lit
erary Press


stances, John Williams was called dull.
When he had reached his majority he
was accounted light In the head" He
was butt of rfdicule for years and
years, and no one could ever remember
that he resented 1t. When he was told,
as was often the case. that be was only
half witted he laughed In a good ma
tured way. II people laughed at him
he laughed back. and II the joke was
on him 1t seemed to please him as
much as II some one else had been hit.
There was only one thing about the
town fool which was not as plain as
day. From the time he was eighteen
years old he kept a diary. 1t was
often wondered what he wrote down.
but no one ever had chance to see
The diary didn't take in daily events,
as was one day discovered, but in the
course OF twelve years an abundance
of things were jotted down. At the
age Of thirty John Williams was fatal
ly injured by the kick Of horse.
When 1t was given out that he had
only three or four days to live the pub
lie had no sympathy to waste. Per
haps the town fool didn't expect any.
From time to time the doctors told him
he was doomed man. and he began to
set his house in order-that is. he had
his diaries brought to his bed and sent
for justice Of the peace and worthy
witness. He had a few deathbed con-
En- ,olr NJ 4 ,,f~
twelve years. A sawmill In the town
had been destroyed by fire. The day
after the fire man named Thompson
had put redhot cent on the sidewalk
for the town fool to pick up The
diary recorded both events. The con-
Williams had seen Thompson set fire
to the mill. II was written out and
sworn to and witnessed. and then came
confession No. 2. In that same year
some one had stolen three smoked
hams from the cellar of villager.
Following close upon the loss of the
hams, as duly recorded in the diary.
the village blacksmith had ducked the
town fool In his water tub for joke.
The confession was to the effect that
Williams and the blacksmith stole the
hams and that the latter was the only
one to profit by the theft The two
confessions implicated men who had
always been considered upright and
the justice felt 1t his duty to say:
John, this is serious business. You
know you have only three days to
i've"
Eyes. know" replied John. but
we have hardly begun yet I've got
to get a whole carload Of things of
my mind before l 60"
No dated back eleven years. A
horse had been stolen from a nearby
farmer. and about the same date
village painter named Swayne had
painted the town fools boots a bright
red by way of joke. The confession
solemnly confessed that the painter
and Williams had stolen the horse and
turned him over to a stranger to be
run out Of town and sold Many little
details were put down. and. as It was
solemnly sworn to. the justice heaved
a sigh over the deceit and wickedness
of man who had always been looked
up to as full Of integrity.
Confession No. 4 went back ten
years. A church edifice belonging to
the Methodists had been set on fire
and partly destroyed 1t had been
pretty we'll settled that 1t was the
work of tramps who had broken in.
but no one had been arrested Will
liams now confessed that the Widow
Davidson had hired him for S. to set
the fire
Confession No. was corker. Some
seven years previous there had been a
local election In which party feelings
ran high. Just before the election came
on one of the candidates for mayor had
been badly shocked by bolt Of light
ming which struck the house. Nobody
had ever questioned the fact that 1t
was straight case of thunder and
lightning. but now the dying man
wanted to wash his conscience. He
named four prominent men in the viii
lage who were In conspiracy. the
murder of the candidate, They hadn't
let him In on the ground floor or any
other floor. but he had been abroad
the night Of the storm and had seen
one Of the conspirators strike the can
didate With a bludgeon and then leap
out of the window The would be
murderer believed he had accomplish
ed his purpose. and there was great re-
joicing as he rejoined his fellow con-
spirators.
The justice hesitated. questioned and
protested. but the town fool was firm.
He insisted that everything should go
down and be sworn to. He died de-
claring that he had signed nothing but
what was true and the justice felt that
he had to move In the matter. The
whole town was by the ears at once.
Those six confessions included every
body who had ever cracked joke at