davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-11-08

to go practically unmarmaladed at
breakfast because I am using the walter
to conduct preliminary negotiations
with a third party in regard to a bath
towel"
But 1t Is so very simple, SIR" he re-
peated patiently. you ring for the
waiter or the ma"
checked him with gesture. I felt
that | knew what he meant to say; !
also felt that If any word Of mine might
serve to put this establishment on an
easy running basis they could have II
and welcome
Listen" | said. "You will kindly
pardon the ignorance Of a poor, red.
partly damp American who has shed
his eagle feathers but still has his ma
tive curiosity with him! Why not put
n third button In that bathroom labelled
Man Servant or Valet or Towel Boy or
something of that general nature? And
| then when n sufferer wanted towels and
wanted 'em quick he could get them
without blocking the wheels OF progress
and industry. We may still be shooting
/ Mohawk Indians and the American
bison in the streets Of Buffalo, New
York: and we may still be saying: BY
| Geehosaphat I swan to CALCULATED
anyway note that we still say
that in all your leading comic papers,
but when n man IN my land goes a
toweling ne goes toweling--and that
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-11-08

or an Etruscan roof garden. he hangs
a sign above his front door testifying
to his magnificent enterprise in this re-
gard. The Continental may he a born
hotelkocpcr, as has been frequently
claimed for him: but the trouble Is he
usually has no hotel to keep. II Is rs
though you set an interior decorator TO
run livery stable and expected him 20
make 1t attractive. lie may have tho
talents, but he is lacking in the raw
material.
1t was in London apartment house
out Nadia Vale way. that ] first bcheld
the official bathtub OF an English family
establishment. II was ont of those
bathtubs that flourished IN our own land
at about tho time OF tho greehack craze
a coffin shaped boxed in affair lined
with zinc; and tho zinc was suffering
from letter or other serious skin trouble
/ and was pecling badly There was a
current superstition about the place to
the effect that the bathroom and the
water supply might on occasion he
| heated with n device known In the YER
nacular as a geezer.
The geezer was sheet iron contrap-
ton in the shape OF a pocket inkstand
]
! Ike a Russian icon. with a small blue
flame nickcrlng beneath It. 1t looked az
though its sire might have been a snare
drum and It's dam dark lantern and
that it got It's looks from its father and
| its heating powers from the mothers
side OF the family And the plumbing
fixtures were OF the type that passed
out OF general use on the American side
Of the water with the rutherford Il.
| Hayes administration. | was given to
understand that this was fair sample
OF the average residential London bath
| room---though the newer apartment
houses that are going up have better
ones, they told me.
In English country houses the dearth
OF bathing appliances must be even
more dearthful. ] ran through the col
umns OF the leading English fashion
journals and read the descriptions OF the
large country places that were there Of
fered for sale or lease. In many in
stances the advertisements We're accom-
panied ny Photographic reproductions In
half tone showing magnificent old places
with Queen Anne fronts and Tudor
towers and El'zabethan entails and
Georgian mortgages and what not
Seeing these views I could conjure IN
visions Of rocks cawlng IN the elms, ot
young curates in fiat hats imbibinc
tea on green lawns; Of houselleepers
named Meadows or Fleming. In rustl!np
black silk; of old Giles-fifty years
man and hoy on the plaCe-wearing a
smock froch and leaning on n pitchforll
with n wisp OF hay caught In the tines
lamenting that the An 'asn't been the
| same, eur, since the young marster was
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-11-08

aEemen; about u. | first visited the In
formation desk and told the youth in
charge there I wished 70 converse with
soma one in authority on the subject OF
towels. After gazing AT me spell In
puzzled manner he directed me 70 20
across the lobby 10 the cashiers depart
ment. Here | found a gentleman OF
truly regal aspect. HIS tie WAS per-
feet dream OF tie. and ne wore frock
coat 30 slim and long and black II made
him look "a though he were climbing
out OF a smokestack. Presenting the
case as though Il were suppostit'ous
one purely. I said 10 him:
Presenting now that one OF your
guests is IN a bathtub and finds he has
forgotten TO lay IN any towels before
hand-such thing might possibly oc-
cur, you know-how does ne go about
summoning the man servant or the
valet with a view to getting some?"
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-11-08

nature and I cannot alter Il. All my
folks feel about (. rs I do. We are
very peculiar family that way. When
bathing we do not invite an audience
Nor do want one. \ crowd would
only emharrass me-. I merely desire a
little privacy, and here and there n
towel"
"Ah, yes! quite 20, sir he said, hut
you do not understand me. As I said
before. YOU ring for rhc waiter or tho
maid when ono Of them comes you
tell them 20 send you the man servant
on your floor, and when he comes YOU
tell him you require towels and he Eoss
to the linen cupboard and gets them
and fctches them TO you, sir, It's very
simple str"
But, why" persisted. why do Ibis
thing by relay system? ! don't want
any furnishing gentleman IN this place
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-11-08

is all there Is 10 Il, positively In our
secret lodges II may happen that
tho worshipful master calls the august
sword bearer TO him and bids him com
munirate with the grand outer guardian
and see whether the candidate IS suit
ably attired for admission. but in or
binary life we cut out the middoman
wherever possible. DO YOU get my
drft?"
"Oh, yes, sir" he said. hut fear
You do not understand me. AS told
you, rs very simple-so very simple,
sir. We've never found It necessary 70
make change. You ring for the waiter
or for tho maid, and you tell them to tell
the manservant-"
"hE right" ] said. breaking In.
could see that his arguments were of
The circular variety that always come
back 10 the starting point. But as a
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-11-08

"Oh. sir" he replied that's very
simple. You noticed two pushbuttons
in your bathroom, didn't your"
81 did" | said and that's Just the
difficulty one of them is for the maid
and the other is for the waiter"
quite SO. sir" he said, quite so.
Very we'll then, sir: You ring for the
waiter or tho maid-or II you should
charnce to be in hurry for both of
them; because. you see, ono OF them
might charnce to be en----"
zone moment" said. Tot me make
my position clear In this matter: This
Lady Susanna do not know her last
name. but you will doubtless recall the
person mean because l saw several
pictures of her yesterday in your ma
tlonal art gallery-this Lady Susanna
may have enjoyed taking a bath with
a lot OF snoopy old elders lurking round
in the background, but am not 30 con-
stltuted. I was raised differently from
that. With me bathing has ever been
solitary pleasure. This may denote
selfishness on my part, but such n my
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-11-08
Well Known un1orist Tells Of His Experiences While nves
tgating the Famous English ''Bahng Costume The
Discrepancy Between Bathrooms and Bedrooms

was brass plate containing two push
buttons. one button, the uppermOst
one was labelled Waher-the other was
labelled Maid.
This was d!sconcerting. Even in so
short n stay under the roof OF an Eng
lish hotel | had learned that at this
hour the waiter would be fastening
from room to room, mnistering to Eng
lshmen engaged in cumming their vital
organs into an impenetrable mass with
the national dish OF marma.ade and
that the maid would also be busy, carry
Ing shaving water to people who cid
not need It, Besides. Of all the classes
I distinctly do not require when | am
bathing. one is walters and the other IL
maids.
For some minutes considered he
situation without making any Roadway
toward a suitable solution OF Il: mean
time l was getting chilled. 80 dried
ENTHUSIASTICALLY toothbrush
and the edge OF the window shade; then
I dressed. and in a still somewhat moist
state went down to interview the man
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-11-08

A y erect OF the war m London
II has been the organization of
L \ volunteer police force. 1t is
known as the special constabu-
lary and the director Is Lord Montagu.
Some $4,000 applications for appoint
ment have already been acted upon
favorably
Among the first men 10 enroll them
selves were actors, hundreds Of whom
90 10 their allotted stations after tho
theatre IL closed and remain on duty
until 4 in the morning. One OF the very
first 10 proffer service for the special
constabulary was Cyril Maude, who
called a meeting at the Playhouse and
enlisted many OF his confreres in the
work. Sir George Alexander. who was
out OF town when the project was
preached, telegraphed instantly an orer
OF aid and Sir Arthur Pinero did tho
same. Their example was followed by
a large percentage of all the men or
their profession AZ the same time
Thousands OF other applications came in
from men OF leisure, lawyers, doctors.
/ engineers. electricians, telephone and
telegraph operators and others.
/ Chester Fox, who represents Charles
Frohman in London, was among the
organizers OF the special constabulary
and devotes several hours OF his day to
the work at headquarters 1t was by
! his assistance that the writer obtained
information in regard to the work and
met several OF tho officials who are
working with him in this undertaking.
I'VE work In three shifts, from to
TO- 10 to 1 and ! to 4. when the dawn
makes our presence as extra policemen
! unnecessary" he said 1T would be i'm
possible for any force OF policemen regu-
larly on the pay lists to do all the work
that is required now that London, fac
ing the danger of spies within and
Zeppelins without, has practically pulled
down her blinds and Is after sunset a
city Of darkness"
The truth of this comes directly home
TO the listener. London, which in times
past has been so brilliantly lighted, ia
now az obscure as country village n
New England. Whole streets, once
flashing with radiance. are dark pock-
cts. Piccadilly, Leicester Square, Re-
gent and oxford streets. the Strand ant
Victoria street all share tho genera
gloom.
Across the heavens steal tho brilliant
spears of light. picking out spires. domsi
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-11-08

armlet. notebook and whistle. The
armlets are OF the following colors:
White for the headquarters STAFF; blue,
inspectors; red, sub-inspectors yellow,
sergeants; blue and white, special con-
stables.
or course there are humorous side
lights thrown on the work OF the special
constabulary One OF these stories has
to do with the type whom Klpling de-
scribed in his "hannelled fool at the
cricket" One Of this type felt the pa
triotic urge and presented himself as
applicant for appointment. After offer
ing to do anything within the range OF
human achievement he faltered
Say. you won't keep me up at night,
will you? I cawnt stay up at night,
you know"
Another special was suddenly faced
with an inebriate. Never having had
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-11-08

end time. but this Is given regularly,
and particular attention Is paid to such
parts OF the coast as might be exposed
10 hostile reconnoitrings, Alfred Noyes,
the poet, Ia one OF the men who do duty
Of this nature.
The metropolitan police area has q
radius OF about fifteen miles from Bow
street. extending TO Chestnut in the
north, EPSON in tho south, Stalnes in
the west and Firth In the east, and this
is divided for tho special con.tabulary
into four districts, the first commanded
by Col. A. c. Hansard, late OF tho Vine
street police; the second by Col. John
Stacpole, late embarkation ofrcer OF tho
South African war; the third by Col
Shewen. late Of the Indian army. and
tho fourth by Lieut.-Col. Aubrey Naude,
late Scottish Rifles. Each constable Is
provided with a warrant card truncheon.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-11-08

and the rooftops in a moments binding
followed by a slowly disappear
ing moonlike glow, then utter darkness,
Sometimes the four searchllghts with
which London Is at present provided
cross and recross each Others paths;
sometimes sinEly they dart forward to
some faraway point. ono OF these
searchlghts Is stationed on Lambeth
Bridge, one on top OF Charing Cross. one
at the Marble Arch, one at the Admiralty
To watch these searchlights Is the spe-
cial task OF some OF tho new constab-
ulaTy.
The special constables also guard gas
and electric light works, water works
public buildings. &C. Along the coast
% England patrols, many OF them from
the special constabulary force. bicycle
untold miles in their voluntary duty.
Some OF these can only give the week
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-11-08

A y effect OF the war IN London
n has been the organization OF
volunteer police force. 1t Is
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-10-03

managed to get 1t open. Then she
pulled from the interior-not a pair Of
glasses, but q very serviceable meat
chopper.
Smash! Rip! Rip! Rip! The can
vas was torn into shreds and long
strips hung from the frame before
John, aided by. half a dozen men In
tie vicinity. could rush forward and
stay the work of devastation.
"There!" screamed the lady, trans
formed all at once into a viragol
That's what you get for letting dear
Mrs. Pankhurst starve to DEATH"
"A suffragette!" screamed an off,
cial. maneuvering cautiously around
her. "Have you got her? Then let me
get at her!"
For about three minutes longer the
academy room was filed with q strug.
Cling crowd. each member of which
seemed supremely anxious to lay hands
upon a struggling old lady who, bon
netless, and with disheveled clothing,
was giving as good an account Of her
self as was possible under the circum-
stances. At last she was placed in the
charge of a policeman and conveyed
away.
John stood looking ruefully at her
handiwork. The painting wac injured
beyond all possibility Of repair. There
were half dozen vertical and three or
four horizontal slashes in 1t, each ex.
tending nearly the whole extent of the
picture, which had been cut literally
into ribbons.
John, dear!" whispered Agnes, slip
ping her hand into his. She knew the
bitterness in hts heart He had spent
80 many weeks trying to create her.
plain little Agnes Manton, as she knew
herself to be, into the reproduction of
the image that lay enshrined in his
heart. And this was the end!
Slowly they went out Of the academy,
followed by a small sympathetic
throng. which had guessed the tragedy
from the likeness between Agnes and
the woman in the picture.
I'll paint you again. Agnes" he
said. do you know, somehow I was
not quite satisfied with that. It wasn't
nearly as pretty as you are"
20, John!" protested Agnes.
Suddenly he frightened up. He
stopped still in the street. Agnes,
what fortunate thing!" he exclaimed
II know what the trouble was. ought
to have painted YOU az intend to now.
in our new house. with the antique
furniture. Agnes, isn't it lucky l In
sured the picture for thousand
pounds!"
Copyright. 1914, by w. q. Chapman.l
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-10-03
WISHED She ::
And Be Free From Her Troubles
but Finds Better Way.

Columbia, Tenn.-"Many a time, -
says Mrs. Jessie Sharp, OF this place.
q wished I would die and be relieved
Of my suffering, from womanly troubles.
] Could not get up, without pulling al
something to help me, and stayed in bed
most of the time. ] could not do my
housework.
The least amount Of work tired me
out. My head would swim, and would
femble for an hour or more. Finally, |
look Cardui, the woman's tonic, and
am not bothered with pains any more,
and don't have to go to bed. In fact.
! am sound and well Of all my troubles" -
Cardui> goes to all the weak spots and
helps to make them strong. It acts with
nature-not against her. II is for the
tired, nervous, irritable women, who feel
as II everything were wrong, and need
something to quiet their nerves and
strengthen the WORKOUT system.
If you are woman, suffering from any
OF the numerous symptoms Of womanly
trouble, take Cardui. 1t will help you.
At all druggists.
Wrifs to. Chattanooga Medicine Co.. Ladies'
Advisory Dept. Chattanooga, Tenn. for SsscisI
Lssfvsefioss on your case and 64-pags book, Home
Treatment for Women" in plain wrapaaz. NC. l2s
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-10-03
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES.
| FORTUNATE THING
By GEORGE MUNSoN.

"There she is! The Girl in Green,'"
said John Latham, unwilling his newly
completed painting.
Miss Agnes Manton uttered a little
irrepressible scream.
"Why, John. dear, that is-that Is
perfect!" she exclaimed. "Only-I am
sure you have grossly flattered me.
John"
mot bit of it, my DEAR" protested
her flance. you are prettier far than
my poor efforts have shown you on the
canvas. And this picture is going to
make my reputation"
Heaven knew he needed that It
should. John was q struggling artist,
just rising out Of the ruck. He was
twenty.nine; Agnes was only two or
three years younger. and they had
been engaged for several years. A
struggling artist has little chance Of
making enough to support wife In
London.
However, though it had not been
sold, one Of Johns pictures had been
accepted for exhibition by the Royal
academy the summer before, and he
had little doubt that this would be
hung" Perhaps 1t would attract the
notice OF a rich purchaser. Then they
could be married.
"How much is it we said we wanted,
dear?" asked John. "A thousand
pounds, wasn't 1t, to begin?"
I'VE could do 1t on five hundred,
john" answered the girl.
But we agreed that we wanted a
thousand pounds to At out our house
nicely with antique furniture'-like
most poor people John had extrava-
CANT aspirations-"andr really start in
comfortably and defy the wolff"
THAT would be NICE" Agnes an
swered.
VERY we'll. dear. I shall insure this
for a thousand. and shall place that
price upon it," said John. And I won't
take penny less. either"
A month later, to his delight. John
received an intimation from the Royal
academy to the effect that his picture
was to be placed on exhibition. On
vanishing day he and Miss Manton
went to look at 1t. Both feared that 1t
had been "skied." But 1t had not been
skied. On the contrary. It occupied a
very prominent position, low down,
next to the door leading from the first
to the second salon.
Just the place where It will attract
attention." exclaimed Agnes joyfully.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-10-03

Everybody will see 1t staring at them
the moment they come in at the door. 4"
The day of the opening of the exhi-
bition was one Of fine weather, and
vast crowds Of fashionable and would
be fashionable people attended, to-
gether with sprinkling who were
genuinely interested in art John and
Agnes, inconspicuous among the
crowds, watched their picture from a
near place. while pretending to display
interest in others.
Hum! Girl in Green is she!"
snorted a stout old gentleman. "'Girl
Looks Green would be a better title
to my mind. never saw a healthy
young woman with that sort of com.
pleXion."
How delicious!" whispered Agnes
in Johns ear, squeezing his hand. That
sort Of criticism was too ignorant to
sting.
Still, when gentleman with q
square beard, looking for all the world
like a successful banker, stopped and
said to his companion, THAT Girl In
Green is one of the best things here
this year." they were breathless with
happiness. For the stout, square-beard.
ed gentleman was none other than Sir
Valentine Sparks, one Of the greatest
of English painters.
A mild. notwithstanding elderly
woman in gray, overhearing the re
mark that had been made, stopped in
front Of the painting and surveyed II
critically. Then she turned to John.
as that a really good painting? p
asked the elderly lady. "A truly val
liable painting?"
That picture, madam, while not the
finest thing in the academy. is undoubt
edly very fair specimen Of the mod
ern English school," said John. az
happen to know that the author is
placing a valuation of a thousand
pounds upon it."
Dear mel" said the elderly lady
"'Girl in Green!' How interesting!
I must really have a better look at II
Where are my glasses?"
She pulled an absurdly large bas
from her muff and fumbled nervously
with it.for quite a minute before she
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-10-03
FASHIONS FANCIES

At the present moment the charm
OF the costume depends on the little
things.
White organdie is everywhere-in
collars and blouses and girls white
dresses.
There is nothing like the dark silk
kimonos, very plainly made, for trav.
cling.
Dolly Warden bonnets are trimmed
with roses and blue ribbon streamers.
Long belted redingotes are really
here-close-fitting garments with set.
In sleeves.
In Paris fur is being worn on lace
hats-and the effect is not odd, but
delightful.
Silver and gold embroidered lace
and tulle trimmed with fur and velvet
are alread" seen.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-10-03
The Lonesome Man,

THAT old saying about being lone.
some in New York is all right" said
Pittsburgher. There are plenty OF
men who are lonesome by nature;
they'd be lonesome in the place of
their birth as well as in a strange
city; they simply don't know how to
make friends, or how to keep them II
they make them But if you want to
see the most lonesome thing on earth,
you will find 1t in the man who sits
alone in hotel cafe at night, taking
his solitary drink because he is so.
cable by nature, and longing for
some one to talk with, but fearful OF
'butting in where he isn't wanted.
Last night sat down deliberately by
a stranger marooned that way, and |
never saw a man SO grateful in my
life. He was so lonesome he nearly
had the horrors"
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-10-03

Little reticules. exactly like mascus
line tobacco pouches except that they
are daintier in style. are now carried
with trotter frock in the morning. In
the reticule may be slowed away q
handkerchief, pin purse and roll Of
bills-enough for a shopping tour. One
Of these bags is OF white crash en-.
broidered with white wheat and the
bag will complete a white serge or
mohair and worsted tailleur for au.
tumn in the country. The second bag
Of tan crash Is hand embroidered in
shades Of brown and gold.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-10-03
THOUGHT IT STILL DUTCH
Enellshwoman Decidedly Behind the
Times In Her knowledge Of Things
Of the United States.

Some one, at luncheon, had told q
story about an Englishwoman who said
she had been shocked to learn how
slow the trains were in America, and
on being told that they were nothing
of the sort, insisted:
But they must be. saw in q
paper that 1t took "a hours to 60 from
New York to Chicago!"
And the company had laughed. Wat.
kins had laughed with the others.
Then Watkins said:
THAT'S q pretty good story. But I
know one that's better. It's . remark
that was made to me-"
go on" offered the man who had
told the story about the trains. "You
give US your word it's true?"
Il give you my word it's true" Wat.
kins echoed. 1T was at a hotel In
Switzerland. where I, being alone,
CHANGED to be put at table with sew.
eral Englishwomen at dinner. We fell
to talking, as one always does, about
travelling abroad and about languages,
and hotel.and.train vocabularies, and
all that. They knew that l was an
American, of course.
Il happened to say that l could not
speak,. understand, or learn one SEN
tence In the Dutch language, and that
l felt decidedly helpless whenever
went to Holland.
The remark followed. The tallest
Englishwoman leaned across the table
eagerly.
"'Oh,' she said. But don't people
speak Dutch in New York;"