Connecticut western news., 1914-10-22
OUR PLATFORM M.


 we have no sympathy with the "fiay- ing" habit, so freely indulged by ire sponsible spellbinders. Every day we read that some shrinking aspirant for public honors has been ''fayed' by some envious or malicious rival, or some loud -mouthed, venal hireling of the opposition. Since the word "fiay' has become so common, ill its applica- tion to campaign arguments, aud especially since we have been nomin- ated for place on the bench of the judiciary of North Canaan, as Candi- date No. 3, Justice of tIe Peace ticket, we have taken pains to look it up and find out what it means. MT. Webster gives this definition: "Flay-To skin; to strip off the skin of, '" etc. That is, it's a low down skin game, and would look. to an unprejudiced observer, like a poor way to convince the people that the candidate should not be elected. We would no more think of stripping the skin off George W. Ford, our direct personal opponent, Candidate No. 3 on the other ticket,) just as cold weather is coming on, than we would think of stealing his shoes, which are three sizes too large for us, any way. Playing is too hazardous, as weapon of politi- cal warfare, and the fayer is ever up against the possibility of the fayee talk ing the job off his hands. The Plat form, or declaration of principles, is the thing, and on the advice of our campaign manager we have consented eschew to fiaying and endorse the fol- lowing platform, on which to make our run for the chief justiceship of the peace:
 "We affirm our allegiance to the inn mortal principles of Washington, Jeffer son, Lincoln, Cleveland, Mckinley, Bryan, Connie Mack, Tingier, Hol- comb, Davy FitzGerald and J. Henry Roraback, and take our stand at Arma- geddon with our feet crossed, our Joins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness.
 We stand for the moral uplift of the judiciary of North Canaan.
 HWe view with alarm the demoraliz- ing effects upon the sanctity of the marriage relation, of cut-price for weddings, at the rate of 98 cents, marked down from $1.
 "We favor the establishment of a just and equitable scale of prices for nlatri- monial alliances, ranging from $1 '75 for a 25-word ceremony at the operators place of business, to $2.98 for 15- minute ceremony in the, operators home library with patent-leather shoes and jusicial robe on, and reason able premium added for kissing the bride and music on the phonograph.
 i've stand firm for sliding schedule of fines, costs and imprisonments, hav- ing discriminating regard for race, creed, color and previous political utilization; providing penalties of $50 fine with costs and one year in jail for out-of- town negro fighting drunk in overalls; $1 fine for home talent white drunks of native parentage; $5 ditto, ditto, foreign ditto, with jail penalties graded according to the cleanness of the prisoners shirt-front and the quail ity of his jewelry; indeterminate, optional sentences for burglars. knockers, night-hawks, mashers, he gossips, vagabonds and non-church- goers.
 i've commend to the intelligent voter loyal support of the entire ticket. also the entire ticket of every party endorsing this candidacy"
 It has been suggested by our cam paign manager that the above platform is 'tgood, as far as it goes," but that political platform without at least one frotten plank" will not command re- spectful attention, but will simply be laughed at. But we stand like the rock of Gibberaltar on the platform as it is, and defiantly proclaim, He laughs best who laughs bestl