Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1914-08-26
"a Bit O'Nonsense
4 Splendid Spree.
-l1H1>--l.A

AAS
a Splendid sprss.
Who's the millionaire you've
Something better than any old mil
lionaire," declared the beach belle.
He's got 5000 saved up to spend and
he's only got ten days vacation to
spend it in.''
fWise Girl. \,
rs she going to marry the young
man who saved her from drowning"
II think so"
"Eut is she sure that he is able to
support her in the style to which she
has been accustomed?"
yes, she looked him up in Brad.
streets before She fell in"
A Fatal Double Meaning.
There seems to be GOODNESS be-.
tween you and Mrs. Brown"
"Yes, but ! can't imagine what the
trouble is" !.
Have you said anything to her
lately?'
why, she mentioned last week she
was living just acro"s the lake from
me, and ] told her l hoped she'd drop
in some time, and she hasn't spoken
since."-Delineator. ,
Worthy to Wear I Crown.
Are you sure you love your neigh.
Dor as yourself" asked st. Peter.
who was cross examining the new ar
rival.
yes answered the applicant for
d golden crown. "F6E ten years he
used my telephone to carry on his
business and never complained"
sEnter, my good man." said St.
Peter. with much feeling.-Birming-
ham Age.Herald.
Near the Surface.
1t was a cold day IN December and
the superintendent of a charitable in
stitution vas examining a number Of
poor children as to their aclaims for
more comfortable clotA1Aig. margaret
was under examinAtlon!fosS She was
pinned up quite securely in q thin
shawl. "a
Have you any clothes at home?'
she was asked.
Nom"
What have you got on" &
please, this Is my aunt's shawl,
and me dress is next, and then comes
l."
Lost Thorn Somewhere.
"And this said the alleged old
soldier. FOSTERING a long-suffering edi-
tor who was really an old sailor, sis
where the Arabs we're massed in front
of US. Here" pointing to another
place on a dirty pocket. map lis
where our division was drawn up in
Zareba. We deployed in this direc-
ton and our left wing wal attacked
by the enemy on this knoll. Just at
this point I was wounded on the left
shoulder and a hundred yards farther
on ! got my right arm shattered by q
piece Of our own shells, and"
But" interrupted the bored editor,
where did you get your brains blown
out"
The Crisis Of the Barber shop.
The barber to the right Of me was
hoching for the kaiser,
The barber to the left Of me was
hacking for the car, IL,
"A gentleman from Greece was shear.
ing off my fleece,
While very near q swart Italian
stropped his scimitar. 1
.. r
And when presently discussion poly.
glot and fervid
On political conditions burst about
my chair al
| left the place unshaven-1 hope I'm
not q craven. 4
But 1 sort Of like to wear a head be-
meath my hair!
New York Evening Sun.
Question OF Expsdlency.
The Blanks maid Of all work was q
practical young woman of about TWEEN
ty-seven years. One day when her
mistress was making some plans for
the future the matter-of-fact Serelda
said: ~
Il don't know, ma'am. It might be
that ! won't be with y6qas mitch longer,
yet w
Knowing that a young man had
called q good many times to see Sc.
zelda, her mistress said:
Are you thinking of getting mar.
ried, Serelda"
Without the least show Of embar.
rassment or enthusiasm Serelda said:
well, yes, to tell. the truth. l am.
Then again I don't know If 1 will. I've
got a good place here with good pay,
and he's such a fool, mebbe I'll stay
on with you" 'D
How the Place Has Changed?
Frank M. .O'Brien in the New York
Press: Where's the old blacks NTH
shop where / picked the hot penny Of
the 'anvil?"
The blacksmith organized the Glue
town Garage and Gasoline corpora
ton, sold the stock and went to Eur,
ope."
Where's the old oaken bucket
from which l slipped many a cool
draught?" I,
The health department has it in a
glass case as q horrible exhibit"
What's become of the little red
schoolhouse
Mrs. Van Coin bought it to use as
. hospital for her Pomeranians."
How about the common where we
used to play one old cat"