New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-12-06

iro.- the only sentence l can recall IN which
d. cNurc>>cd his hope that the many for
..r~er, who might come over 20 visit
.tr exhibition concentrating the first
,..,a.e of Columbus would not repeat the
..,,.kc Of Columbus himself and stop al
,be first island they came TO, in the belief
,ha- they had discovered America. That
MAS hit. a most palpablc hit; and the
jewellers ON Manhattan island rcloiced AT
{, though The keen blade pierced their own
bodies.
These New Workers recognized before the
Chicago speaker had uttered ms first half
dozen sentences that they were listening TO
. MA, who had something 10 say and had
.s..- rai0s 90 prepare IL for their pleasure.
r-... -l,y M once that ne was not selfish or
..-.-..- or ignorant, and they sat silent 20
....-...,l,s Tie accomplished artist IN words.
.. know. what SD many wOuld-be speakers
......... ..- are ignorant of,-that true ease
.. .....4t--r comes 0f art, not chance The
......,...- 3D.. Fine speaker was simple. as Of one
....r.,-sr -al.-ng to another. and the tone
.. ..0.r.laI. This is the very perfection
+ .1a ro,.r-ari,al address, that II shall
-s,.. .ra flavor % talk. OF very good talk.
.rt.-s Is r. more misleading term than
-.t... dinner o-ato-v." because oratory Is
.t..r.,-.f,. ont of place after dinner. When
,,r are engaged I'm the agreeable task OF
1,,,-.;lo We are ir no mood for stately
...-i.f- and for majestic pcrorauons. We
...-t o. he entertained, even II we are also
instructed.
r.. because he IS SO acutcly conscious that
l lis listeners desire 90 DC entertained that
mann. "a man has rccouGled himself 10 play
Zen -re clown for their unthlnNng and halt
..-tl laughter The speaker who has
.,rg 90 saw. who does not want 10 say
a-.-rf~.. whois content 20 turn himself INTO
-.....a.,ng textbook and 90 exhibit HIM
III nucd collection OF more or less
..--i. -.-es,-the speaker who descends
-.-r-- '.e level Is very prevalent 81 late, Tar
... prevalent He exhibits himself as an
amateur rival Of the professional monologuc
Artists a. vaudeville He is offering himself
....... .upetito- of the end man OF a negro
,...--,-. show. That mature American Is
t.-.-rs-e who has not sat through dinner
after dinner al which more than hall the So
called speeches were empty OF everything
,z...- anecdotes. told each for It's own sake,
and wholly without pertnence to the topic
uuon which the speaker was supposed 10 De
speaking.
THE absurdity Of the after-dinner speech
L thar is nothing more than string OF
alleged humorous stories was keenly per
.,ived bv Mark Twain. and by him II was
once mercilessly exposed in an atter-dinner
address If his own, -one Of his most amusing
-reecre, but unfortunately not reported al
-te time. and therefore not included IN the
volume wherein many Of his other addresses
are ga-nered.
About twenty wears ago there was q short
lived club I'm New York called the Fellow
craft. composed chiefly Of magazine writers
and If magazine illustrators. i used 90
rive occasional dinners, with the customary
-.eelhes. At the suggestion of Its president,
.re late Richard Watson Glider, the Eel
uwc-aft Club invited TO q special dinner the
haf-dozen most popular after-dinner speak
us ot New York. So that these guests might
.e inspired by one another's presence and
each Of them surpass himself In generous
rivalry with the others But, rather un-
fortunately for the rest of them, the presi-
dent Of the club called upon Mark Twain
-l open the evening. OF course al this long
interval ! cannot pretend 70 reproduce his
exact phrases: but I think ! can give the
substance If his remarks with sufficient ac-
curacy.
You have taken me unaware. he began