The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1914-02-22

&lerSelt: IL. -. V. T.! VOl is IL
Is it some secret between the
bride und groom? II. S. V. P!
1t ain'd my initials, because they
begin NIT F.. S. Vot is dot r. S.
V.P.? Vot is it? Vot is it?"
That evening we were all at
dinner when Elsie rushed in
with a cry of JOY. 81 got it,
she said. 81 haf united der
meaning of dot r. S. V. p. 1t
means Real Silver Wedding Pres
entsl"
/ was just about to drink a
glass Of water, but | changed my
mind and nearly choked to death.
Peaches tried to say some
thing which resulted in a gurgle
in her threat, while Uncle Peter
fell off his chair and landed on a
cat which had never done him
any harm.
Elsje's Interpretation Of that
wedding invitation is going to
set Herman Schultz back several
dollars, or I'm not a foot high.
And maybe they don't have
their troubles at Troolyrooral
with the servant problem.
It's ole hard problem that
and nobody seems to get the
right answer.
One morning later on Peaches
and | were out on the top porch
drinking in the glorious air and
chatting with Hep Hardy, who
had come out to spend Sunday
with us, when Aunt Martha
came bustling out, followed by
Uncle Peter, who, in turn, was
followed by Lizzie Jones, their
latest cook.
Lizzie wore a new lid, trim
med with prairie grass and field
daisies, hanging like a shade
over the left lamp; she had a
grouchy looking grip in one
hand and a green umbrella with
black freckles in the other.
She.was made up to catch the
first train that shifted into the
station.
Aunt Martha whispered to us
plaintively: ''Lizzie has been
here only two days and this
makes the seventh time she has
started for town.
Busy Lizzie took the center of
the stage and scowled at her
audience. "I'm takin' the next
train for town, menu" she an
nounced with considerable bit
terness.
Uncle Peter made a brave eff
fort to scowl back at her, but
she flashed her lanterns at him
and he fell back two PAGES to the
rear.
what is it this time, Lizzie ?"
inquired Aunt Martha.
Lizzie put the grouchy grip
down, folded her arms and said:
"Oh, | have me grievances!"
Uncle Peter sidled up to Aunt
Martha and said in hoarse
whisper: "My dear, this shows
a lack Of firmness on your part.
Now leave everything to me and
let me settle this obstreperous
servant once and for all"
Uncle Peter crossed over and
got in the limelight with Lizzie.
"It occurs to me-" he began
in polished accents, "that this is
an occasion upon which | should
publicly point out to you the er-
ror of your ways, and send you
back to your humble station
with better knowledge of your
status in this household.
Scat" said Lizzie, and Uncle
Peter began to fish for his next
line.
81 want you to understand"
he went on, "that l pay you your
wages!"
Sure, if you didn't" was
Lizzie's comeback, ''I'd land Oh
you good and hard, that ! would.
What else are you here for, you
fathead?''
"Fathead!' echoed Uncle
Peter in astonishment.
Peter, leave her to me-"
pleaded Aunt Martha.
But Uncle Peter rushed blind
ly on to destruction. ELIZA
BETH" he said sternly, ''in view
Of your most unrefined and un-
ladylike language it behooves
me to reprimand you severely. 1
will, therefore"
Then Lizzie and the green
umbrella struck a Casey-at-the-