The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1914-06-11
Tales of the Town

- cNrf III iilni 10 III IiS mug aHihS az
vertisements.
70 If boy could marry at the age O.
% ~ he would nine times out of 10 mar
: ny his schoolteacher.
A statement is made between you
x and the lamp post and the lamp post
t tells it all over town.
Z If you do your work particularly
{ well scout from the big leagues will
be along presently to look you over.
Every little item fills a little hole,
and our friends can fill many Of them
by sending the items in or phoning
them.
Colonel Roosevelt insists the river
he discovered is not the celebrated
Salt river on which disappointed can
didates used to cruise.
4 = &
|
the occupation of Vera Cruz not
single sailor has been drunk, again
confirms General Sherman's famous
definition of war.
The small boy in The Index office
asked his dad why he stayed in the
printing business. Nobody comes in
here and pays us money, like they
do at the other stores"
An agent went to the door of an
Emmett home recently and said: 81
would like to show you our vacuum
cleaners" ave amt got no vacuum"
the woman snapped, and slammed the
door. j
DR.. Duncan McDougall of Haver- '
hill, Mass, reports the discovery that i
a mans soul weighs three-fourths of '
an ounce. Doubtless there are men c
of your acquaintance whose souls g
seem to weigh just about that much. o
4 4 q O
A Kansas man is suing his wife
FOR divorce because he says she chews !,
.obacco. He had lived with her nine n
Years, but evidently he found piece 81
If plug tobacco in one of her pockets >,
me day while he was mending her 3.
lothes, and incompatibility immedi- n,
tely set in. =;
Andrew Carnegie had a curiosity
ecently to know how much he is
'orth. He set his secretary to work
nd had schedule prepared showing OIL
he value of all his property on the a'
pen market and was much surprised W.
D find that he was worth 81 million er
ollars more than he thought he was nd
the average man should find that ue
e was worth 80 cents more than he we
fought he was he would fall dead Oh
= tie
A olI ro+ho .;;a 1oo,.;u de,
itered the Office and approached the ca
ERIK. "Are you the man who takes .i'
soc;etv noys % ho o,o,.;od v;th ~ big
,pealing look. eyes, sir" cheerfully pa
piled the young man at the desk ~"
can take any kind of news. What nav
we you got?" "Why, it's just this MAJ
ay," said the caller, lowering his
ice. "My wife gave party last on
ght. 1t was brilliant affair and | 'e'
q willing to pay to have this report ~
it put in the paper" eve don't eNi
arge anything for publishing soci- iui
Y news" explained the clerk, at the "c1
me time taking the proffered manu- WV
-ipt and looking it over "That's '"e
right was the reply. "You don't :, ,,'a
me. | wrote this up myself, and ,,''
put in line that says, Mr.. Half nv
TX assisted his distinguished wife q 9
receiving the guests That's the ooi
y | want it to go in, and don't =
e what the cost is, absolutely don't ava
e what the cost is. / want my -
ends to know, by Heck, that l still al ar.
ong to the family" WI,
ly {
Politics are not what they used to bacl
in the good old days." sighed Old viii
Misgivens. "When / first struck Ora
no there was some excitement and "W,
ertainment in a campaign, but now an
rybody has got to be SO goldurned alon
d and gentlemanly that there isn't hea,
fun in campaign at all. If a clail
didate in those days didn't accuse for
opponent of being anything worse lead
n horsethief he was considered well
his supporters as noticeable entil
} lacked the necessary backbone to that
Re really effective campaign. The all 8
orous candidate not only called r.
horse or cattle thief. 49, ,
often proved it, and that didn't MO.
'ssarily hurt his opponent at the q,
ton. | used to know a man back a.
who had son who was about
,srh kA.,~ ". II