The Washington herald., 1914-04-22
Statesmen, Real and Near.
By FRED c. KELLY.

By FRED G.. KELLY.
Representative James Francis Byrnes.
of South Carolina, used to be a court
/ stenographer and 1t is doubtful II a
stenographer in the country could tot
down the little Chinese-looking symbols
in a notebook any faster than he. Wit
ness. lawyers, judge-all could talk at
once, but Byrnes. with his quick mind
and nimble fingers, never muffed word.
He could take 20 words a minute single
handed and alone.
1t came TO pass one day. however. that
Byrnes met his Waterloo and went down
The sheriff Of that county had conceived
little joke in the course of a trial in
which most Of the witnesses were negroes.
Waiting her turn in an ante-room was a
large, pompous colored woman with a
great heaving bosom and big. credulous
poached>egg eyes. Just before she was
due to give her testimony. the sheriff
called her to one side and offered her
these few words Of caution:
Look here. Mandy. when you get on
that witness stand. you want TO say what
you've got TO say in hurry or else
you'll get into a lot of trouble. The judge
Is very angry about the way you colored
folks have been taking up his time telling
long. rambling stories. and he has decided
that the next person who speaks 50
slowly will have to go to Jail for con-
tempt OF court. You want TO say what
you have TO say just as fast as you
can. and keep out of trouble. The court
stenographer or some Of the rest OF those
young fellows in the court room will try
to stop you. but that is just because
they think it would be fun to see you
yanked of to jail. Don't you let them
stop you. Start IN and tell your story as
fast as your tongue will let you"
As soon as the prosecuting attorney
asked her name the woman threw her
self into the high and got under way.
During the first three seconds she spoke
nearly 400 words. Byrnes declares, and
there were no spaces between words.
The stenographer was fairly swamped
under the verbal torrent. Words swIrled
about him in little eddies that nearly
swept him from his desk To catch the
vast downpour in his little book would
have been like trying to catch Niagara
In a pocket drinking cup.
Wait minute" shrieked Byrnes. But
his cries OF despair merely spurred on
the wild, runaway utterance of the wit
ness, who was determined to keep out OF
trouble at all hazards
Before they could get her slowed UP.
she had said enough language to fill an
ordinary copy Of the Congressional
Record.
Byrnes was never the same bIithe, care
free stenograpner again. He was like
locomotive engineer who has gone
through one wreck too many Shortly
after that he gave up being a court
stenographer and became a lawyer.
Former Senator Pettigrew had prob
ably the meanCst tongue that ever ut
tered invective in the United States SEN
ate. One day 1T the close OF a scholarly
speech by Senator Lodge. Pettigrew got
up and said The gentleman's remarks
remind me Of The soil Of his native State
highly cultivated but thin-very thin"
Representative Wallin, rug manufactur-
er, OF Amsterdam. y. Y. is a patient
man. The other day he received call
at his office from a man selling stock
in mining proposition away out West
Wallin let the salesman tell his story
without interruption even though the re-
cital occupied ABOUT three-quarters Of an
hour Finally the salesman inquired:
What do you tflnk Of the proposition"
Il think" repl.ed Wallin. calmly, that
II a long way from broadway"
Franklin Roosevelt Assistant Secre-
tary Of the Navy and nephew Of T,
received a long letter the other day.
asking for his views on about ten
public questions Of the hour. all care
fully enumerated.
Now, Roosevelt does not pose as a
human questions and answers depart
ment. and he wrote back a brief let
ter. stating that he did not feel that
his views on the topics mentioned were
OF sufficient Importance TO justify the
time it would take him u put them
on paper.
In the course of a few days he got
another letter. which explained.
Il made a mistake. and was think
ing il was Mr.. T. Roosevelt who was
Assistant Secretary OF the Navy-lhe
man who used to be President. You're
different from him. He wouldn't never
have wrote back saying he didn't
think his views were worth putting
down on piece of paper.
JOsephUs Daniels. Secretary Of the
Navy. was called out Of town unexpect-
tated his staying at the office until near
~ IdlE l!illt- ABOUT 80 ne rang up MS
home TO tell his family good-bye. Two
Of his bows were in bed
Wen simply have to wake them up
then. said Daniels. I'm not going a
step until I've told them good night"
So Mrs Daniels had to arouse the
youngsters out of sound sleep to bid
their dad farewell
Representative Percy r Qun was
speaking of the modern tendency To ex-
travagance.
There was a man living in the coun-
try down our way" says Quin. who
used to boast that he could make his
voice heard for three-quarters of mile.
He moved with his family to town. and
although he was in extremely moderate
circumstances the first thing he did, be-
fore he even bought a new outfit of mat
ting for the sitting room. was to in
stall n telephone. II was necessary, he
said, in ordering groceries. And yet the
grocery was only a trifie more than two
blocks away.