The Ontario Argus. (Ontario, Or.) 1???-1947, 1914-10-22
THE JARR FAMILY

orchestra should open with the latest
popular song, entitled, Sympathy, :
and use plenty Of sob" music through
out, at the close of the performance
n funeral march should be played,
create more tears of sympathy"
Cast of Characters:
Gentle" Jarr, Father OF the Jarr
Family, John Roberts "U-Needa" Jarr,
Mother of the Jarr Family, John Rigby
Seven Little Jars:
NJ. g. Hope, j. E. Lawrence, T. w.
Halliday, VIM. Rose, Saxon Humphrey,
II. X. Dunlop and George Il. Davis,
Chairman, Executive Committee Of
the Vale "Taxeaters League"
Act /. Scene /.
(Colloquy between Gentle Jarr and
"U-Needa Jarr'O; (Scene: The Enter
prize office at Vale; A. ID. 191q.
Gentle Jarr:" am glad that you have
came back to muh, muther, to help muh
slander them guys in Ontario what
wants ter move the only means OF
| livelihood what Vale has got, the coun-
ty seat.
"U-Needa Jarr:" Yes, have return
ed to help you out, dear father, for
the sake of our childer, although great
is the sacrifice that I am making. /
was well on my way towards getting
rich in selling oil stock and promot-
ing irrigation schemes like Denny Bro
gan, when | gets the message from
Milt that he would put me on the pay
roll again, II I would only come back
and help father out and save our home
from destruction and bitter ruin. (So5
music).
Gentle Jarr:" Here come the child
er now, muther, see how they love you.
(The Seven Little Jarrs all come run
ming In, and greet their mother with
thousands of kisses)
Scene III.
(The Chamber OF Commerce room
over the Enterprise office. headquart-
ers OF the "Taxeaters League" vale).
. George Davis Jarr," (presiding over
the meeting OF "taxeaters." called for
the purpose OF affording relief to the
Jarr Family: The meeting will come
to order. The purpose OF this meeting
is to raise funds with which to help
Mother and Father Jarr keep their
nome. the county seat. which furnishes
our means OF livelihood. All those
who have anything TO contribute will
please come forward with their monsJ.
and they will be Immediately enrolled
as member OF the "TaseaJers
League" and they will be repaid Sy
fat county job after the election Is
over.
(The numerous county employees re-
siding at Vale all come forward with
their little piles, which they turn over
10 Little Milt Hope Jarr. Who pats
them on the back and says0
Little Milt Hope Jarr;" Well done
thou good and faithful servants.
George Davis Jarr:" The next I'm
portant business OF the meeting is to
rib up seven good excuses why the
seat home should not be taken
away from the family. Brother Milt.
what hast thou TO offer as an ex-
cuse.
Little Milt Hope Jarr:" We
donated the land and constructed the
present courthouse upon its site at a
cost OF over 81. 500 all donated by Vale
Jameson TANNER Ia ghost) butting |
in from behind the scenes); And Vale
got the farmers and laborers In the
to help her put up store shell,
with the promise of finishing the build
ing and donating II to the county, and
repaying the farmers and laborers with
Jobs; and after the stone shell
had been left exposed TO the weather
for over two years, Milt Hope Jarr,
Jimmy Lawrence Jarr. Tom Halliday
Jarr, all members OF this club, petition
ed the county to finish building the
courthouse, which 1t did, and has ex-
pended about $4,000 in patching it up
for the last ten years. Now wouldn't
that jar you?
Jimmie Lawrence Jarr;" Vale con-
structed the first telephone line.
Juntura TANNER (another ghosD;
And the first telephone line was
built years before Vale was ever heard
of. Wouldn't that jar you?
Tommy Halliday Jarr;" Vale sub
scribed $4,000 and the right-of-way,
the construction OF the Mel
heur Valley railroad.