The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-03-22
HArERNAI PRIDE IN SUBWAY

way tra!cS.
One might think that this mattep
would be left to mothers, because
mothers are the persons looked upon as
possessing most information about ba-
bies; but apparently mems knowledge of
babies has reached the point where they
can display It in public
It's getting to be a regular thing for
men to hold discussions on the baby
question in subway cars. Baseball. box
Ing and other topics are put aside In
favor OF that important subiect--the
baby. Here Ia the way tho discussion
begins:
A man enters a subway car at an UP.
town station, unfolds his morning paper
and begins to read. When the train
halts at the next station and other pas
sengers board II friend of the man
reading the paper enters. and catching
sight Of him pushes his way to him.
Good morning." says the newcomer.
Nice morning. hey? Say, how's the
baby?"
"Oh. very WELL" replies the other man
with alacrity.
| by the way, what is your baby, boy
or elrl?" inquiries the newcomer.
why, it's "a boy" responds the first
man.
"A boy. l always thought you had y
girl" replies the newcomer. do you
know that l have an heir? Yes. arrived
about nine weeks ago. Oh, great big.
strong fellow. Why. do you know that
i think he Is going to be another SAM
son. There's nothing to IL, at ALL Tho
strength that that baby possesses--and
he's only nine weeks old--is marvellous.
My wife tells me that there isn't another
baby in the neiyhborhood that can COM
pare with him. He's wonder, and no
doubt OF It,"
We'll. he must be a wonder, judging
from the way you talk" replied the first
man, who appeared to be bored. still.
l don't think that he has anything on
my son. He's the greatest baby In the
country. II not In the world.
"I'll Just tell you something about my
son that will open your eyes. OF course
you understand enough about a baby to
know that in the first set there are
twenty teeth. Well. Just imagine this:
My wife thinks. In fact she Is almost
certain, that my son will have twenty
two teeth In his first set.
Now don't ask me how such thing
Is possible. It's beyond me to answer
Suffice It to say that my wife says 50,
and she ought to know, although / will
admit that this IL our first baby. But
she picks up Information relative to
babies like duck takes to water, and
you know how quick that is.
Some credit Is due me, however"
continued the first man. putting up u
little with self-esteen. for after all I'm
the boys father. He was wonderful
child right from his birth. Why. Just
let me relate some incidents about his
teeth and they will apprise you Of his
remarkable merits.
Probably you know that the two CEN
trail lower teeth are the first to appear
and come in from the fifth to the ninth
month. You know that? Well. think
of this: I'm sure, In fact I'm positive,
that my son had them when he was
four months old. That's going some.
isn't 1t?
while We are speaking of teeth.
here's another thing l want to tell you
/ about my sons teeth: At a year n child
| usually has six teeth. Pooh, My sons
a year old and he has eight teeth. OH
] tell YOU. that boy is Il wonder and he
is going to make his mark in this world.
He appears to be just little more adj
vanced than the other babies We know
of. And II he is advanced when he IL
only baby. then figure out how far ad-
/
Why. the thought OF 1t stuns me.
! cannot realize it
"Conceding that you have a perfect
wonder for son, there are some merits
about my boy that | feel justified ~
bringing to your attention" replied the
newcomer when an opportunity pre-
sented Itself for him To do some brag
ging. THE average baby at birth weighs
: \. pounds its height is 20L, inches, its
chest measurement is 1874 inches and
It's head II inches. Those are the stand
ard measurements and babies weighing
and measuring above those figures are
considered abnormal.
"Well, when my son was born he
weighed ten pounds. he was 22 inches IN
height. his chest was II inches and his
head IS inches. So you see he exceeded
the standard measurements In all re-
spects, and l guess he will be the boy
who will make your son hustle when
they grow to be men,
Admitting that your son Is out Of the
ordinary wish to enumerate some Of
the other merits that my son possesses.
Children are usually one year old when
they begin to say single words like
mamma and papa. The average child
can only say simple words when he is
one year old. yet my son said Good
morning to me the other day and We
have so nUrved ourselves to stand such
shocks that We were not the least bi,
surprised when he saluted us. In fact
we were expecting that he would soon
be utter!ng words too difficult for other
children of his age to enunciato.
Before j forget this: Children first
attempt to walk IN the twelfth and the
thirteenth month. Mind you, they only