The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-10-29
KITCHEN WRANcLEs

1
| The latest craze in the Highball Empori
um.-Cruiser, salt water. Submarine, Pouf
When Mr.. Morrison blew the whist,
last Saturday, Hugo and Frosty Face wer
in augmentation, as to whether Michae
Angleo was Pianist, or Ball player.
From the Bakery Hueb the Head Bake
wires, that bread cover having the capaci
ty to hold 900 loaves, has arrived. He also
said skinney fell down a three inch pipe,
which leads on to the lawn. Mdlle Duke
thinking there was rat in the pipe pulled
Skinny out.
couch, youse did dat on poiporse, said
Frosty Face, to Saxo George, as the Dane
ing Master trod upon the Frosty Corn,
why, could not help it. replied the
Saxo Player. Youse Gink's think dat youse
are der whole cheese, cause youse blow $
dat walking stick, wild der Silver Teaspoons
on, Aw, some of youse band guys get my
goat growled Frosty.
General Stonewall was absent from the
Choir practice last Tuesday. The grizzled
old VET pleaded indisposition. Wrong you
are Baron, we were not sick, we simply hand
ed in our verbal resignation, but 10! and be-
hold! Sunday morning Officer Thompson
came to our living quarters saying General,
you are the only man in the institution that
can sing any song in the book without any
practice; so come along! And along we
went.
WANTED. An egregious young man
to quadruplicate, viz, must be able to sew
China with a needle and Thread, to wait ia
BILE, and to possess extraordinary perceptive
power. Must be well versed in Pomology,
also, must be experienced Exoliation, Zool-
ogy, Physiognomy, Physiology, Entomol-
ogy, must not be contumacious, edaciOus,
or indOlent. Must be able to cook Salma-
gundi, and wash bottles. Salary nominal.
Apply to Monsiuer lawn.
Said Frosty Face to Mons Savage the
School Teacher, show do youse pronouce
the word P-l-o-u-g.h ?' "Why," replied
the Pedagogue, "Plow!'' Den der word
Cough, how do youse pronounce dat?''
"Kof," answered the teacher, "Naw,"
snapped Frosty, "youse are wrong, its Cow,
an Joisey Cow at dat In the Dictionary
the word Kof would be parenthesis but
to give it the full measure it would be
paronymous, added the teacher. ''Den
wots der word Vim mean,' enquired the
Frosty one. "Oh, that is a French word
which means Wine; but, why that last
word, Monsieur, said the teacher, cav,
| though: youse would say, Vim war Short
hand fer Vinegar Snapped the irascible
Frosty.
Jawn, The Count, and Prof. Bugtrala
comprise an elegant sylIogism. The Trio
are both excellent and amusing in their con-
versazione. SWAY down in old Bohemia
said the Count, ''Princess =, was troubled
with drunken husband, brilliant idea
seemed to strike her, SO one night when the
Prince arrived home in a state of intoxica-
ton, she waited until he was sound asleep,
then she seized a rolling pin and with it she
did belabor him numerically about the
face, until he was black and blue, for three
nights she kept this up, until his poor face
was SO bruised, she scarcely could recognize
MIN. On the fourth night she thought she
would alleviate matters by giving his toot-
sizes pounding, in the meantime, the
Prince, who was so battered, bethought
himself that he would lay his poor head,
where his feet should have slept, alas! the
poor fellow got it fast and furious again, he
got up from the couch, wiped his battered,
and swore off drink forever. Like Uni
versal Ike there is a sequal-"er-er in.
terrupted Hugo. 'The Vomens nit stick,
did der Prince Teller hit nit ISIS feet he did
ISIS head change, ven der stick it did hit
him not, den der Teller NIT iss nose he
did iss face wipe nit der rolling pin, der
sea full it voss nit Universal Ike fellers.
OH Oh' said the lugubrous Hugo, cit
ISIS some more viskey will drink not.