davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-09-29
CHORDS AND
DLSCORDS

THERE can no longer be any doubt
of the final outcome of the European
war. The Irish of Chicago are report
ed to have declared for Germany.
IN order to avoid future confusion
in HIS beloved country, Villa has kind
ly condescended to nominate an old
friend OF his for the provisional presi-
dency. OF course, Villa would be a
rank outsider in the event said friend
displaced Carranza. The Mexican
leaders are great at this patriotic stuff.
but what they are all really after is
the key to the exchequer.
THE dispatches say that the Prince
of Wales wept real tears when he
found that he had been transferred to
another regiment and could not go to
the front at once. Well bet he had an
onion in his pocket.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-09-29

The term civilized" used as an ad-
jective to qualify the word warfare
should be marked obsolete in the
vocabulary OF the present generation.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-09-29

This is for bridge players. as well as
republicans: Rubbers are seldom won
with nullo bids. The trick-taking pol
icy has decided advantages.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-09-29
Tuesday, September 20, 1914.

New York reports a famine in small
change. What is small change good
for in New York, anyway.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-09-29
Some Slow Music, Professor.

II am done with gambling and l am
done with drink from this day for
ward. AS the mayor of dry town
I'm going to enforce the laws. l am
going to make good" Thus spake the
mayor of Rochelle, Ill. The city voted
out the saloon at the election of last
spring. The other day a visitor lost
$500 in a gambling room in Rochelle.
He sued the mayor for the amount
OF course the mayor did not know un-
til the court action Swas begun that
there was gambling in Rochelle. Mel
Their had he the slightest suspicion that
it was possible to buy a drink of
liquor.
WE read where a girl, owing to an
injury, was obliged to submit to the
amputation of leg. The doctors de-
clared the operation a success. If
both limbs had been chopped off we
suppose the surgeons would have
called it scream.
WHEN anything goes wrong, for in
stance inability to settle bill or sour
stomach symptoms, just blame the
war.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-09-29
HOLDING Cash Customers.

ton in the village gossip. Doctor and
l think it great. Will buy when 1 get
home MART CARLSON.
Norfolk, Va, Sept. 20.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-09-29
Heard at the Empire.

Fiddler hear you have been talk
ing about me among my friends.
Shelton-What have 1 been saying?
Fiddler understand you said that
there were II chicken thieves, includ.
ing me, in this town.
Shelton-No; you misunderstood my
statement. What l really did say is
that there are Il chicken thieves, not
including you.
F1ddler-Oh, that's different.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-09-29

If you desire to pronounce Pre-
mysl correctly wait until you have a
severe cold in the head. Then tackle
it just as you are about to sneeze.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-09-29

THE German emperor must have re-
markable powers OF recovery and also
must be SOME traveller. A Sunday
dispatch reported him laid up in
France with Inflammation of the lungs
contracted through having fallen in
trench filed with water. Monday
Petrograd made the positive announce
ment that he was personally directing
his armies in east Prussia.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-09-29
Hen Hicks Says

What the good book SEE about fel-
Ter faring better on judgment. day If
he gives all he's got TO the other Teller
is purity good reading. but for my part
I'll let the other felfer have the bless
ing.
The art of conversation is in know
ing how to make little idee go long
way.
Ever notice how big your last dollar
lookss
Don't be stingy with sympathy. It's
bester ter waste II.
J. M. C.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-09-29

AN Illinois girl has died of pto-
maine poisoning caused by eating a
hamburger. We were just wondering
if it might not have been of the "hot
dog" variety and that if death was
not due to hydrOphobia.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-09-29
Off the Water Wagon.
.fSterling Gazette.l

TtoLtI IIHS HdAONtCsJ
George Humphrey. driver OF the
water wagon, has been under the doc
tors care for the past few days. He
has had several dizzy spells and has
been laying off from work.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1914-01-09

Why not have your cellar clean by
letting me take ont your ashes each
week. Call Wan. 1877 L. 35tf
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1914-01-09

Be sure to visit the sick. but above
all things, do not crowd in on Sunday.
The sick are often neglected during
the week. only to be visited to death
on Sunday. Unless when you visit the
sick you carry with you joy, hope and
mirth, you had better stay away. An
unfavorable opinion should never fnd
expression in the SEX room. Life
hangs on a brittle thread and often
that frail support is hope. Never utter
such an expression as, chow bad you
loolsn or Il would have another doc
tor" etc. Make this your rule, never
to enter sick room without carrying
with you a ray of sunshine. A kind
word and a pleasant smile should be
ready for everyone. Proverbs 1924
says. Pleasant words are MS honey
comb, sweet to the soul and health TO
the bones"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1914-01-09

The postal department would do
we'll to take into account the case of
those who are paying the present third
class rates on their reading material.
There are few articles sent that are
more easily handled, that are not like
ly to cause trouble to the postal clerks
or to damage other packages. Ifother
parcels can be carried at low rates,
there seems no reason for making an
exception of cooks. And it would be
in the interest of education to afford
the cheapest and best facilities for the
distribution of literature.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1914-01-09

FOR SALE-One Ave passenger
Buick. 1925 takes this car. Geo. q.
Lund.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1914-01-09
COMMON COUNCIL

The Common Council met in regular
session at the city hall, Tuesday even
ing, January g, 1914, with Mayor Perry
in the chair Present Aldermen, Van
Uxem, Gunderman, Woodeside, CLAUS,
Haberman and Voellxel.
Minutes approved as printed.
A resol alton was introduced author
izing the payment of semi-annual in
terest on bonded debt due January 20.
Adopted.
Bills and payrolls for the month of
December, read and referred to finance
committee.
Report of water works superinten-
dent for December received and fled.
Report of street lights not burning
during December referred to finance
committee.
Application of Mrs. Elizabeth Brown
for cancellation of street improvement
bonds, referred to finance committee.
A resolution was adopted cancelling
two street improvement bonds owned
by A. w. Glawe.
The finance committee reported back
the several payrolls for the month of
December and they were ordered paid.
The same committee reported on the
completion of the improvement ct
Windsor Avenue, 59th Street, Smith
Avenue, saith Street and Western Ave-
nue. and recommended payment. Adopt
ed.
The same committee reported on the
completion of Kenyon Street. On mo-
ton of Aid. Claus action deferred until
next regular meeting.
There being no further business the
Council adjourned
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1914-01-09

The farmer who went to sleep ten
years ago. waking up now, has to learn
many new things. He is ten years be-
hind the times. The farmer today is
ten years behind the time of the far
mer ten years hence. For this reason
il behooves every man to be awake to
the present opportunities and to look
ms far into the future MS he is able to
do. The automobile pillow and mower
are almost IN sight.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1914-01-09

History repeats itself. Harper S
Weekly has brought to light the fact
that our pure food law labels are old
antique. In 900 b. c.. the ancient He
brews made the wholesale grocers and
wine dealers of their day put such
seals and labels on their wine and oil
jars. They stated when the wine was
deposited in the cellars and where the
wine came from. On the oil jars the
label read "a jan of pure oil, with the
name of the district producing It,.
Sevsnty-tive of these records were
found. They show that even in the
days of King Ahab the government
protected the stomachs of its citizens.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1914-01-09

Patronize progressive people if you
wish to see prosperous community.
Money spent with silulian is like
wasting fertilizer on bed of rock i'm
stead of sowing it over soil that will
enrich the world with a more luxuri-
ant production. The money that is
paid to enterprising people builds new
houses. makes beautiful lawns, relieves
the needy, and is always on the move.
Lively times, progress and prosperity
are thus secure
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1914-01-09

A Boston court holds that mans
home Is where his wife is. A mean
contemporary suggests that according
70 TINS ruling most men live ia depart
mene stores and bridge whist clubs.
bot most, but few.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1914-01-09

FOR SALE-One five passenger ks
sci Kar. This IS snap for $3.50. Geo.
g. Lund.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1914-01-09
no YOU KNOW

Geo. C. HeiIeman does painting of
quality9 Now is the time. Call Wau-
watosa 800 l..
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1914-04-10
SYNOPSIS.

Cowboys of the Flying Heart ranch are
heartbroken over the loss Of their much
prized phonograph by the defeat Of their
champion In a foot-race with the cook OF
the Centipede ranch. A house party Is
on at the Flying Heart. ]. Wallingford
Speed, cheer leader at Yale. and Culver
Covington, inter- collegiate champion run
ner, are expected. Helen Blake. Speed s
sweetheart. becomes interested in the loss
q the monograph. She suggests to Jean
Chaplin. sister OF the owner of the ranch.
that she induce Covington. her lover. to
win back the photograph. Helen declares
That II Covington won't run. Speed VIII.
Tho Cowboys are hilarious over the pros
pect. Speed and his valet Larry Glass,
trainer at Yale. arrive. Helen Blake asks
Speed, who has posed to her as an ath-
lete, to race against the Centipede man.
Tho cowboys Join in the appeal to Wally.
and fearing that Helen will find him out.
he consents. He insists. however. that he
shall be entered as an unknown. figuring
that Covington will arrive In time to take
bis place. Fresno. glee club singer from
Stanford university and In love with
Helen, tries to discredit. Speed with the
ladies and the cowboys. Speed and Glass
put In the time they are supposed to be
training playing cards in secluded spot
The cowboys explain to Speed how much
the race means to them. Speed assures
them he will do his best. The cowboys
tell Glass 1t is up to him to see that Speed
wins the race.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1914-04-10
Knew tho Time.


On q cold night man was hasten.
ing across the public square with his
overcoat buttoned up to his chin. He
was rather anxious to know what time
1t was, but he was too lazy to open his
coat In order to get at his watch. Just
then he saw a well-dressed man ap
preaching and remarked to himself:
This is a cinch. I'll cen ask yon
genteel stranger what time 1t Is and he
will unbosom."
He perceived that the stranger was
buttoned up just as he was. When hs
came up the man who wanted to know
the time removed his hat politely ant
said: "Sir. do you know what tim,
1t isl"
The stranger paused, removed hi
right glove, unbuttoned his coat from
top to bottom, unbuttoned his under
coat, and finally pulled out his watch
while the chill wind cut into his unpro
tected chest. Holding up the watch 8,
that the light would shine upon II
face for an instant he glanced at
and growled:
"Yes"
Then he passed on without anothe
word.-ClevelaDd Plain Dealer.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1914-04-10
Unconventional Minister.

A Missouri man tells of somewha,
eccentric minister in that state, who
Is most unconventional in conduct.
ing the services of his church.
1t appears that, from his pulpit, this
clergyman can, through an open win.
dow on his right, command a clear
view Of the fields stretching of in
the distance. One morning instead OF
beginning the service as usual, he an.
nounced: "As observe Sister Anna
Morgan. somewhat late. approaching
the church, shall postpone the. com.
mencement Of the service until her ar.
rival"
On one occasion he made this an.
nouncement to his congregation: "As
the weather is still SO inclement, !
will. my dear friends. lengthen my
discourse somewhat In the hope that
1t may clear later" q
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1914-04-10
Activities Of Women.

Mrs. Clarke w. Kelley OF DEVILS
Lake, N. D.. runs 1000 acre farm.
More than $4,000 births were re-
corded in Philadelphia during 1918.
The International Olympic games
will hereafter be open to women.
During the past year 16.l22 mar
riage licenses were issued in Phila-
delphla.
Mothers generally are agreed that
It is necessary to begin spanking boy
babies at the age Of one year and girl
babies at the age OF sixteen months
Miss Margaret b. Connell. deputy
clerk Of the United States court, is
slated for the position OF receiver OF
the United States land Office for Utah.
Miss Ida o. Tillman, postmistress
at Geneva, Ala. has refused to sur
render her Office to the government,
and says she will not be forced out
without making q fight.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1914-04-10
STRIKES IN ODD WAYS.
vAoARIEs OF CYCLONE ARE IN.
COMPREHENSIVE.
Reports OF Their Action Read Like
the Work Of imaginative Writers
Of Fiction, Though They Carry
Only Actual Truth.

Cyclones of the sort that recently
devastated the colliery valleys of
South Wales are very rare In this coun-
try, says Pearson's Weekly. This
particular storm, the fercest ever
known In Britain. carried man near
ly quarter of a mile through the
air before dashing him down to death.
II threw tombstones about, hurled shop
goods into the street and took the
roofs of hundreds of houses.
Cyclones as a rule occur only in hot
countries. Their fierceness is due to
sort Of hole in the atmosphere.
The air all around rushes in with tre-
mendous force to fill up this hole. So
cyclone is really sort Of a cart
wheel of winds. fierce gales blowing
along each spoke toward the hub,
which is called the "eye" Of the cy-
clone.
In a cyclone the "cartwheel" is
much smaller than in an ordinary
storm, and the winds are correspond
ingly fercer. There are authentic In
stances of cyclones driving flying nails
into trees and planks right up to the
head. Straws, too. have been driven
half through stout doors.
A very curious thing about cyclones
Is that house caught In the eye Of
one has its doors and windows burst
outward, not In. This was noticed In
Wales, and accounts for the contents
Of shops being hurled into the street.
The reason is that the eye Of tor
nado being empty of air.. the pressure
of air within closed house against
the empty space outside makes the
house burst outward as II It contained
a charge of dynamite. Air everywhere
has a pressure of fourteen pounds to
the square inch.
It is this suction that makes cy-
clone draw corks from any empty bot
, ties 1t finds In its path.
, Any one caught In a cyclone often
! finds that dust or mud Is driven into
, his clothes under such pressure that
repeated washings refuse to remove 1t.
} The tremendous lifting power at the
, eye Of cyclone Is shown not only by
' its hurling men and even sheds into
!. the air, but by the curious fact that II
= usually leaves every well In its path
o quite dry. 1t Is this upward suction
8 that accounts for waterspouts at sea
I In countries where cyclones are com
mon every house has Cyclone eel
lar" close at hand for use when cy
7 clone is on It's way
The only good point about cyclone
as compared with an ordinary storm
Is that the track along which It trav
els Is always very narrow one. It's
path is seldom more than 200 or 300
yards broad. On each side Of the
track where a cyclone Is spreading
death and destruction the weather Is
often quite average.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1914-04-10
EIectrlfylna Terminals.

An investigating committee. financed
by the railroads themselves. is said
to have drawn up a report in favor Of
electrifying all passenger lines within
the city OF Chicago, including those
devoted to suburban service. Such q
report should end all controversy on
this long-discussed matter, and usher
in the era Of action. The city council
should provide for prompt electrifica.
tion In any terminal ordinance that
may be passed. and the executive
branch OF city government must see
to 1t that such provision 10 enforced.
This will make beginning-and only
beginning--in the work OF clearing
smoke and SCOT out OF Chicagos at.
mosphere. Railroads are not the only
Offenders In this regard. though OF
necessity they are the most conspicu.
Gus ones.-Chicago Journal.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1914-04-10

trasted 80 strongly with his former
contemptuous attitude toward the
cowboys that Speed was constrained
to laugh again.
Its the most amusing thing I ever
heard Of"
eyes," said the trainer, with elabo-
rate sarcasm. at would be awful fun.
ny II 1t wasn't on the square," He
moistened his lip nervously.
you alarm yourself unnecessarily
Well hear from Culver soon. either
by wire or in person. He's never
failed me yet. But II I were you
Larry. I'd leave that Mexican gir
alone"
"Mary?"
"Yes. Mariedetta. Now, there's
something to be afraid Of. II these
cowboys are In love with her and have
their eyes on you"
"Come in!"
Senior Aurelio Maria Carara en-
tered. He was smoking his custom
ary corn-husk cigarette. but his darl
eyes were grave and his silken mus
tachios were pointed to the inenes
Of bristle.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1914-04-10

winked openly at Speed. Sure!
slip her laugh now and then"
"She is not Guiana, she Is Mexi-
cana," said Carara, politely.
well, what d'you think Of that! I
thought she was Cuban" Glass be-
gan to chuckle. s
"Senor Fat" broke In the Mexican,
sharply, while Larry WINGED at the
.distasteful appellation. "she is my
Senorita!"
rs she? Well. I can't help It II
she falls for me-" The speaker cast
an appreciative glance at his EN-.
ployer. "And you can cut out that
Senior Fat because It don't go"
Then he gasped. for Carara slowly
drew from inside his shirt long,
thin-bladed knife bearing marks OF re-
cent grinding, and his black eyes
snapped. His face had become sud
denly convulsed. while his voice rang
with the tone OF chilled metal. Glass
retreated step, q shudder ran
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1914-04-10
Greedy Sanders MaoHoot.

Mayor Fitzgerald Of Boston, on 40.
count OF the 100 per cent. Increase in
the price Of gasoline, plans to supply
the automobIlists Of the Hub with
motor oil at wholesale rates.
Greed" said Mayor Fitzgerald the
other day. greed is the sole reason
for the rise In gasoline. That is ad.
mitted frankly. Well, such incredible
greed as that reminds me OF Sanders
MacHoot of PEBBLES.
Sanders, have another drink.
q friend said. entering a bar, where
MacHoot was Just tossing OF a glass
Of whisky.
INA. na. answered Sanders Mac.
Hoot I Wilma bae anither. but 70
can pay for this II ye like"
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1914-04-10
CHAPTER ix.-contInued.

you said just now you'd answer
Tor him with your life. Well, we aim
to make you! We amt a-goin' to lose
this foot-race under no circumstances
whatever, SO we give you complete
authority over the body, health, and
speed OF Mr.. Speed. It's up to you
TO make him beat that cook"
"S-s-suppose he gets sick or sprains
his ankle?" Glass undertook to move
his body from in front of the weapon,
but 1t followed him as II magnetized.
There amt a-goin' to be no acci-
dents or excuses. It's pay or play,
money at the tape. You're his trainer,
and It's your fault II he amt fit when
he toes the mark. Understand
Willie lowered the muzzle OF his
weapon, and fired between the legs OF
Glass. who leaped into the air with all
the grace of gazelle. II was due to
no conscious action on his part that
the trainer leaped; his muscles were
stimulated spasmodically. and pro-
pelled him from the floor
did you hear what ! said?" de-
manded Willie, In voice that sound.
cd like the saving Of meat bone.
Glass opened his mouth, and when
70 sound issued, nodded.
"And you understand"
Again the trainer bobbed his head.
Then guess that's all. It's up to
you" Willie replaced his gun. and
the fat man threatened to fall. Come
on. boys!" The cowboys fled out ST.
lently. but on the threshold Willie
paused and .darted a venomous
glance at his enemy. Don't forget
what said about Mr.. Colt and the
equality OF man"
"Yes. sir!-yes. ma'aml" calculated
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1914-04-10

through him. and his eyes riveted
themselves upon the weapon with hor-
rified intensity.
Listen, Pigi II you spik to her
again, will cut you" The gaze Of
the Mexican pierced his victim. II
will not keel you. will just-cut
you'll"
Speed, who had sat In open-mouthed
amazement during the scene. pinched
himself. Like Larry, he could not re-
move his gaze from the swarthy man.
He pulled himself together with an ef-
fort, however. undertaking to divert
the present trend Of the conversation.
"W-where will you cut him?" he
asked, pleasantly, more to make con-
versation than from any lingering
question as to the precise location.
Here" Carara turned the blade
against himself, and traced . cross
upon his front, whereupon the trainer
gurgled and laid protecting hands
upon his protruding abdomen. "You
spik SPANISH"
NO" Glass shook his head.
But you understan' wat try Il
sayr
"Yes-oh yes-Im hep all right"
"And the Senior Fat will r-r-remem
bert"
"Sure!" Glass sighed miserably
and tearing his eyes away from tn,
glittering blade. rolled them towart
his employer. II don't want herl Mr
Speed knows don't want her!"
Carara bowed. "And the Fat Eeno
will not spik wit her againf"
mol"
"Gracias, Senior! thank you'll"
You're welcomed" agreed the Ney
Yorker, with repressed feeling.
"Adlos! Adios, Senior Speed"
"Goodby!" exclaimed the two 4
chorus.
CTO BE CONTINUED.)
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1914-04-10
HURRIED AWAY BEFORE THAW
Traveller Left While the Conversation
al Nuisance Was $50 Cold Hs
Could Hardly Talk.

In q country town in the English
Midlands there is man who is 80
noted for his conversational abilities
that his acquaintances avoid giving
him unnecessary opportunities to talk.
One cold morning this man rode up
to hotel In the neighborhod Just as
the guests were finishing breakfast.
He dismounted. walked in. saluted the
landlord In his usual loud tones. and
declared that he was SO cold that he
could hardly talk.
Just then nervous traveller, who
was present, stepped up to the land
lord and. taking him by the coat.
said:
Mr.. L., have my bill brought as
soon as possible" ~.
what is the matter, my dear SIR"