davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
Responsibility Rests Upon the Voter

The nublic press accredits Represen-
tative Whitacre of Ohio with these
words: "All I've done since I've been
down to Washington has been to SIT
around and try to look wise, and that's
what any man has to do who isn't
willing to barter his convictions for
political expediency. l thought there
might be chance for an honest,
wide-awake, frank and open business
man in Congress, but l was quickly
disillusioned."
This is probably pretty fair photo
graph of Congress and Congress is
what its members make it, but the
voter makes those members of Con-
gress and upon him rests the respon-
sibility for the personnel of our ma
TONS legislative body.
The primary system offers him the
opportunity of improving or ignoring
this responsibility; if he neglects it
he is false to his duty to his country
and if he embraces it in thoughtless,
irresponsible manner he again fails to
measure up to the requirements of his
citizenship.
AS far as possible the voter should
81 CT rat a
the merits of every candidate before
deciding as to how his ballot shall be
cast. Most men do not make good in
all walks of life and he who succeeds
in one channel of business may very
likely fail in another.
1t does not follow that a famous
general would succeed in the halls of
legislation; bankers win credit and dis
tinction in finance, yet they are pro-
verbally deprecated as senators; law
yers rise to the head of their profess
sion, yet it is not deemed desirable
that they display any numerical
, strength in our state legislatures, and
men who have failed in business have
proved themselves to be the best con-
SENATORS of the public veal when
elected members of legislative bodies.
Let the voter consider the candi-
date as man and not from his
church, social or business affiliations
This is the only true test in the selec-
ton of competent and reliable repre-
sentatives. Above all do not vote for
a candidate upon the mere ground of
friendship when failings are apparent
and his Disqualification known. Let
the voter be wise, considerable and cir
cumspect in the casting of his ballot
and soon Congress will cease to be the
objectionable assemblage that Mr.
Whitacre has depicted it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
IN QUEEN MARY,s WARDROBE

From the Philadelphia Telegraph.
Though Queen Mary is known to have
excessively simple tastes in all matters
relating to her dress, nevertheless her
majesty's wardrobes are of necessity
far more deliberately filed than are
those of most of her subjects
The Queens gowns are kept in a
large roberoom adjoining her majesty S
bedroom in her personal apartments.
The walls of this apartment are lined
with mahogany wardrobes divided into
two sections, one for the state robes
worn at courts and other state cere-
monials, and the other for the queens
ordinary dresses.
The state section of the royal ward
robes contains from so to so gowns.
which are termed. court robes; two of
the wardrobes IN this section contain
gowns worn as a rule during a visit
to the country of foreign sovereign.
Apart from the foreign gowns, her
majesty's state robes and dresses fill
from eight to 10 wardrobes Each is
dressed on a steel model and hung
from a plated rail that runs length
wise through the wardrobe at the top
The wardrobes are all satin lined
throughout. Her majestys ordinary
dresses fill from five to seven ward
robes
The wardrobes are in charge of the
head robe maid, who has three assist
ants. Overnight the head robe maid
receives instructions as to the gowns
her majesty will require and the hour
when each will be wanted the follow
ing day, and it is the robe maids bus
mess to put out each of these gowns
at the time mentioned.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
WHERE HE WAS WELCOME

Picking himself up after rapid
flight down the stairs. the young man
broke forth.
"of course, it. is your privilege to
throw me out of the house, Mr.. Rough
man." he said, but there is no need
of adding insult to injury by having
me land on a mat which has the word
| Welcome woven in it,"
'sThere is nothing wrong in that"
remarked the cause of his sudden de-
scent, you are welcome"
But you threw me out!''
ION the outside of the house where
the mat lies, sir!' concluded the man
OF the house, closing. the window.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
THE MASTER MARINER

George Sterling in the Smart Set.
My grandsire sailed three years from
home, a
And slew unmoved the sounding whale:
Here on MINDLESS beach 1 roam
And watch far out the hardy sail.
The lions of the surf that cry
Upon this lion colored shore
On reefs of midnight met his eye:
He knew their fanGs as l their ioni
My grandsine sailed uncharted seas
And toll of all their leagues he touN
scan the shallow bays at ease, 81
And tell their colors in . book.
The anchor chains his music made
And wind in shrOuds and running gear;
The thrush at dawn beguiles my glade,
And once, tits said, woke to hear.
My grandsire in his ample fist
The long harpoon upheld to nen:4
Behold obedient to my wrist
A gray gull's feather for my pen
Upon my grandsire's leathern cheek
Five zones their bitter bronze had SOL.
Some day their hazards will seek
promise me at times. Not yet
think my grandsire now would II
A mild but speculative eye
On me, my pen and its concern,
Then gaze again TO sea-and vigh
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
A Musical Festival

Il will be very glad to take part in a
music festival this spring" said Rienzi
Thomas, the director of the Treble Clef
land other choral organizations.
II appreciate ii, and know all the
singers felt grateful for the praise be-
slowed upon the Messiah chorus last
Sunday. With a little more experience
the joint chorus will be one of the best.
We intend to give one or two perform
ances between now and spring. l like
The AgeHeralds suggestion that the la
dies of the Music Study club could get
Up and manage music festival without
the risk of deficit. | am sure they
would have enthusiastic backing on the
part of music lovers and citizens gem
orally"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
MUSICAL CRITIC

From the Fayette County Democrat.
The saxophone. an instrument that few
can get any real music out of, was
played to perfection by the three ladies,
especially Miss Stella, who played her
instrument and accompanied herself on
the piano, somethi1g rarely seen. We
heard Mr. Will Ritter say that the saxo-
phone playing was fine. and he being a
member of a band, ought to give his ex-
preston some weight.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
WHY RUB 1T INT

From the Decaturs Daily.
Birmingham is having one of the regula-
ton police probes now. The Magic City
is really becoming metropclitanized, with
an elephant in her zoo, and a police in
vestigation on her hands. she has NeY
Xork about backed off the boards.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

a new dance has been originated in
pittsburg. It is called the street Gar
dansant' and is properly performed BY
quietly seated in a street car of that city
when a mouse appeared. Feminine pas
sengers Immediately sought safety on the
backs of the seats where they performed
prodigies in the. terpsichorean art. TIE
mouse after a promenade down the car
and back retired TO the sand box and
quiet was restored.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
WISE OLD LADY

From the Chicago Record Herald.
A South Bend Qnd) lady, 81 years of
age, continues to do her own housework.
1t is always best for a lady of 81 to do
her own homework rather than undergo
the fatigue that is likely to result from
hothering with the maid problem.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

DIR. Cock, the arctic explorer" has
given up his lecture enga gements in Lon
don, where he found the atmosphere con-
siderably colder than in the vicinity of
the north pole.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

There are 200 bills before Congress.
but little on many ordinary citizens
who were good fellows during the
Christmas holidays.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

Gen. Rosalie Jones and her band of suf-
fragettes have stormed Albany. A few
of this kind with the rebels might aid
materially in the march ON Mexico City.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

President Wilson is now an honorary
member of the Gulfport fire department
Let us hope that it will not be as embar-
RAISING to the fire laddies" as it was to
the Order of the Caraboa
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

Secretary Bryan says that eggs can
be unscrambled. owing to the scarcity
of this food staple at present there are
few who can take issue with the Com
mOner
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

Nihiist threats against the life of Ignatz
PaderewslSi have made the famous pianist
i'll. Great artists are always tempera-
mental.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

A Chicago surgeon has invented de-
wise to tell people when they are huns
ably, would be one to tell many of them
where they can get something to eat.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

President Wilson has proved to be
good waiter" and it is high time that
Huerta tipped him off to something
substantial.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

With the past record of the Western
Federation of Miners it is not to be won
dered that operators are not anxious to
recognize it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

One is pleased to hear the Postma ster
General report that the parcel post is
holding its zone.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

Really, If the new calendar did not
have 1914 above it We could not tell
1t from that of last year.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

The days in which citizen may pay
his poll tax and become a voter are rapid
ly fitting. Act while there is yet time.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
FOR THE MOOSE
From the Washington Post.

FROM tiie washington Iost
Z Before the G. o. P. sends out its
rallying call it should got one of those
birch-bark horns that the Maine hunters.
use on similar occa sions
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

Maybe President Huertas motto is
publicity is the best policy.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

II Caesar can hide The sun from us
with n blanket, or put the moon In his
pockct, we will pay him tribute Tor
light. -C!m"e'e'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

Politics and prosperity go fand in
hand in Alabama's agricultural sec
ton.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
A GREEN HORN.

Passenger: Can you telephone from
this carp
Conductor: mo, sir
Passenger: WELL you should be dis
charged. Any man who can't tell a
phone from car has no business being
a conductor
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
TROUBADOUR AND JESTER
THEY KNOW uNnERwooD.

Mongolia knows the master hand
Ihat wields the Cossaek lash:
Persia Knows the Shuster brand
That put her funds 20 smash.
Great Britain knows Nor Lloyd George
With tenets broad and strong;
woodrow knows that William J
Was not a e.rked hat long
Democrats with sorrov know
That William Randolph Hearst
OF Andrew Jackson banquet fame
Must be with them ~ burst
"Marse Henry" knows the foreign courts
Will ne'er adopt his plan
And everyone in Dixie knows
That Underwood's the nan.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

Prosperity is now the watchword in
Alabama and the south.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

will the people be tired of my suffer-
irgs?" AT 4:10 o'clock on the morning of
| October 16, after the Queen had been
| In the court Room 20 hours, the verdict
Of guilty was pronounced, and little
| after noon of the same day she was exc
cuted
Tomorrow-Impeachrne trial of Al
| drew Johnson.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
PARTICULAR.

Visitor: Are you the scrub woman?"
Scrub Woman: mo sir; I'm the floor
laundress."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
A GOOD MUzzLE.

Harry: why do you call your dog
Finanee?"
Frank: Because he works per scent"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

An ounce of explanation is worth a
pound of advice a--fst s4e.0i
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

First Lady: Let me see; you, told me
that YOU live on Hour street"
Second Lady: mo, Sixty-second street."
First Lady: well arnt 50 seconds and
an hour the same thing?'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
OF SOME EoTE.

An old lady in Wisconsin owns a
canary bird which she has taught to
sing by note. Can AIRY bird beat that?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
FULL HAND.

Brown THAT mans face reminds me
OF stacked deck of cards. It's full of
grim aces"
Joness Yes. and they tell me he's
quite a joker also.'
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
SANITARY EFFECT

SANITARY EFFECT.
Said a prisoner who had been convicted
for violation of the oieomargarin law,
III you'll let me off now, judge, I'll know
butter next time"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
INTERURB.AN.

Ad astra per aspera.
Through brambles to the stars:
Anc ad astra per aqua
| Means by canal to Mars.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08
DECATUR LEADS.

DECATUR LEADS.
Decatur now has set the pace;
This to announce we beg.
| She has a curious little her
That lays dumb-ball egg.
And just one question we would ask:
Please let Decatur tell,
Does that hen cackle when she lays,
Or is she dumb belle?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

Dues lhal HeH cackIe When She lays,
Or is she dumb belle?
SLIGHTLY DEAF
Georgia Farmer: II see they are dis
crssing the. unearned increment in At
ldnta.'
Atlanta: Yes. you can get creme de
you prefer it."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

ONSCIENT1OUS.
~
She is prohibitionIst;
A conscientious girl.
She really wouldescorn to wear
A little corkscrew curl.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-01-08

Throughout the trial ,ere does not
seem to have be- he crowd any
strong express either for
or against the 8ea Y frequently
called on her to she should
he better seen Gated, and
once at this del l:s'When
The fool-killer., 1914-10-01

reading you will get his eyes open,
and that is just what our masters are
afraid Of You know we are not sup
posed to have anything but little
soW-bosom and ash-cake- that will
give us strength enough to keep on
Shaving for our masters so they can
have more monkey suppers and more
gasoline buggies. | saw in your last
issue that there are some people who
want to dictate how you must run The
Fool-Killer. Now you take my ad-
vice and don't pay any attention to
those fool Smart Elicks. Just roll up
your sleeves and spit in your hands
and go at them like you have been
doing Hit 'em hard-I like to see
'em finch. I certainly enjoyed that
Sunday School lesson about Ludlow
Colorado. Give us another lesson. ]
will switch off now and try to come
again with more subs. The only fault
find with The Fool-Killer is that i,
don't come every day.
The fool-killer., 1914-10-01
Just a Little Bunch of Cotton in
Your Ear.

Mister Ladies, give attention!
Here thing want to mention;
1t concerns the way and manner you
must dress;
Honest, though, you should have
Posted as to wearing cotton"
From the campaign that is raging in
the press.
In the papers, night and morning,
You're confronted with the warn
ing
That the cotton markets busted,
mighty near,
And the papers are declaring
You can save the day by wearing
Just little bunch of cotton in your
No, of course you're not expected
To be shade wed or detected
In the act of wearing any sort OF
clothes;
For the Job of buying rations
Plays the mischief with the fash
.. ions,
And we've got to face a multitude OF
woes.
But you can't ignore the pleading
Of the planters who are needing
Your assistance in this awful day OF
fear;
D. Therefore "Buy Bale" and eat it,
And then face the world and
greet it
With a little bunch Of cotton in your
ear.
James Larkin Pearson
The fool-killer., 1914-10-01
"FEED AMERICA FIRST

: This seems to be a day OF new
slogans, and how will the above
heading do for one? Try your
mouth on it a few times Feed
America First" Don't that have
about the right jingle?
Readers Of newspapers and
magazines have been bombarded
from all sides with 'Buy Bale OF
Cotton Made in America,
"See America First and proba-
bly, others of the same kind. They
are all right. / amt got a word
to say against them. A good col
lection of "slogans" is mighty
nice thing to have about the house.
But it seems to me that our col
lection is not yet complete, and
with your kind permission [ wish
| to add another Feed America
First. -
| am not opposed to giving Eu-
rope all the help and sympathy we
can spare. The Lord knows she
needs it. But sympathy and hu-
man kindness should begin at
home. We have plenty Of pow
erty, hunger and destitution right
here in Aemrica, and are sure to
have more. Millions Of people
out of work and on starvation
right now, and what it will be
when winter closes in is too awful
to think about.
i Yet in the face of these condi-
tions, our capitalistic bosses the
owners Of America are sending
!, food to Europe by ship-loads ev-
cry week. This food goes to feed
the soldiers and keep them fight
ing, when otherwise they might
quit fighting and go to work. But
|, the grain spectators and food
sharks must have the money, and
; it don't matter to them what be-
! comes of our own poor-the job
5 less and the hungry who must face
actual starvation this coming win
5 ter.
Here we are in a land that pro-
5 duces more food than the whole
5 population could use if everybody
( got enough-and yet half of the
' people must go hungry. And they
l are the very people who do most
5 Of the hard, slavish work.
\ Therefore, [ suggest that our
: official and commercial masters
lower their sights a little and try
: looking closer home for somebody
! that needs help. In other words
- Feed America First.'
The fool-killer., 1914-10-01

Ten million bushels of wheat
going to Europe every week to
feed the soldiers and prolong the
war. And ten million people right
here at home who will starve for
that wheat next winter. We are
committing double crime, and
still have the gall to pose as a
great Christian nation!" Eter-
nal shame on such pretended
Christianity!
The fool-killer., 1914-10-01

The Rockefeller Foundation"
established and owned by John
dee, now proposes to "investi-
gate" the Rockefeller outlawry in
the Colorado strike region. Take
1t from me, that will be some in
vestigation. Imagine the murder
er placed in the judges chair to
pass sentence on himself. Excuse
me till | get done laughing.
The fool-killer., 1914-10-01
ROOSEVELT NO MORE,

The following dead-shot icon"
fession of faith' is quoted from
an anti--Catholic paper called
The Peril, edited by George D.
Beason and published at Wilkes
boro, North Carolina. Listen:
"The editor of The Peril has voted
for Theodore Roosevelt every time
vote for him no more, nor for any
other candidate who is a Romanist
or a so-called Protestant who favors
Rome for Catholic votes. Roosevelt
has recently stated in public print that
he took a Roman Catholic priest with
him as a companion on his recent
South American trip. That settles it
with us. 1t has also reached this Of
fee from several reliable sources that
Roosevelt's private secretary at the
present time is Roman Catholic and
a Knight of Columbus. The Peril re-
Gently sent one of it's reporters to in
terview Roosevelt on his stand on the
great question of the day-political
Romanism. He refused the reporter
an interview, with the promise that he
would write his views direct to the
Peril. This he has not done WE
HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION
THAT THEODORE ROOSEVELT IS
THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN IN
AMERICAN POLITICS TODAY. He is
unquestionably a henchman of the
Roman Political Machine.
"THIS YEAR AND IN THE YEARS
TO COME THE EDITOR OF THIS
PAPER PROPOSES TO VOTE FOR
TRUE AMERICANS FOR OFFICE IR-
RESPECTIVE OF WHAT PARTY
THEY BELONG TO, AND WE CALI
UPON EVERY VOTER TO JOIN US
IN DOING THIS. 1T WILL MEAN
THE COMPLETE OVERTHROW OF
THE ROMAN POLITICAL MACHINE
IN. THIS COUNTRY"
j Gimme your hand on that, ole
sport! Your experience anG
, mine-with regard to Toothadort
! lSpecksvelt-are as much alike al
two black-eyed peas. Only i
didn't take me as long to lear1
my lesson as it seems to have tax
en- you. This new knowledge tina
is so startling to you is ancien
history to, me. [ long ago go
wised up to the fact that the Lion
Eater was just like the rest Of tn
) plutocratic humbugs- for pc
litical pie and personal glory
!, with not one speck of interest i
' !, the welfare Of the people. Blu
t say, Beason, if you don t vote 70
. Romanists sympathizers, who i
the gee-whiz are you going to vot
, for? Looks to me a sight lik
you have landed right into th
Socialist camp and didn't kno0
!: it. For be it known unto you, M
: brother, that no other party j
d going to put out a candidate VIII
d opposes Rome. Hurrah for Con
v rade Beason! Next!
You never know today who wi
The fool-killer., 1914-10-01

VIM. w. THOMPSON, Fredericks-
burg Ohio.-I have kicked myself all
over the back yard trying to cure the
fool" 1t helps, but does not cure.
You have the never-failing medicine.
For the enclosed 25c send me years
treatment.
The fool-killer., 1914-10-01

Pray for peace, but vote for the
parties that uphold war. You'll
be certain to accomplish wonders
at that sort of game.
The fool-killer., 1914-10-01
CORRESPONDENCE.

ADAM RACHFORD, Box 47, Beau
mont, Tex-Enclosed find money or
der for $2.1O for IA subs. This is all
I can get at present, but l have some
more in view.
The fool-killer., 1914-10-01

D. HENDERSON, Box 153, Louise,
Textile Fool-Killer, Dear Pap:-
Look on the other side of this sheet
and find seven names and addresses
for seven scalps, and also find money
order in this letter for $1.O5. [ will
try to do better next time.
The fool-killer., 1914-10-01

You never know today who will
be president of Mexico tomorrow.
The fool-killer., 1914-10-01

J. A. MILLS, 4O33 w. Madison ST.,
Chicago, Ill.-Dear Comrade Pearson: (:
i failed to receive my three copies
of The Fool-Killer for September. I
do not think my time is out. Please
see what is wrong. I cannot keep
house without The Fool-Killer, SO
don't break up my happy home.
The fool-killer., 1914-10-01

L. J. RANTZ, Star Rt., Lock Haven,
Pa.-If it please you to send me sever
al sample copies during the next six
weeks I will get some subs for you
The Fool-Killer is the proper anti
dote, and I can recommend it. I am
filing every copy for future use.
The fool-killer., 1914-10-01
ANSLEY A. RUMMEL, r

ANSLEY A. RUMMEL, r 1, Bx. 42,
Creekside, Pa.-Dear Comrade Pear
son Having been a subscriber to
your good little paper, decided to
get up a club again. So here is a mon
ey order for $4.2O This is the second
club I have sent you. I got 27 and
will pay up my own sub, making %
in ALL