davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06
DIDN'T APPRECIATE THE JOKE
Girl Made Victim Of Hoax by Me
chlevous Frlends Went Homo
In q Fury.

One day several Of my girl friends
called to see me. We started to make
some candy when l discovered that
we didn't have any chocolate in the
house and said that couldn't possibly
make 1t without "a speck OF choco-
late"
Mary. one Of the girls, said: why.
what kind Of chocolate Is that
couldn't you use any other kind?"
One of the girls gave me a punch
and said: ooh. no. couldn't use any
other kind. It's Just a new kind. You
telephone the grocery and order some,
Mary, and we'll start the candy. Now
be sure and order 'Aspecka.'
So we filed to the kitchen and left
Mary to telephone. We sat In the
kitchen holding our sides with sup
pressed laughter while she called up
one store after another trying to get
"Aspecka chocolate" She finally gave
up In despair and then we told her.
Needless to say. she went home in a
fury, as mad as a wet hen She bare
ly spoke to US for weeks after that
Chicago Tribune.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06

and errors behind the many dietetio
doctrines now IN vogue. Doctor and
patient alike are victims OF costly
errors and are terribly punished by
nature by a universal shortening OF
life not In harmony with her require
ments.
We have got to learn that 1t Is far
more important to furnish conditions
which promote health and develop
ment than 1t is to make special effort
to care for the sick or defective, and
that the first requisite to success in
life Is to be a good animal Illness 10
simply the result OF lack OF CORES
pondence with nature
The principles underlying the laws
OF light and plant life are the same
that underlie human life.. and until
we understand them we are certain to
get into trouble continually.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06
LIGHT BOOZE.
Do You Drink lt3

A minister's wife had quite q tus-
sic with coffee and her experience is
interesting. She says:
During the two years of my train
ing as a nurse, while on night duty,
became addicted to coffee drinking.
Between midnight and four In the
morning. when the patients were
asleep, there was little to do except
make the rounds, and 1t was quite
natural that should want q hot cup
Of coffee about that time. I could
keep awake better.
After three of four years of cof-
fee drinking. became a nervous wreck
and thought that l simply could not
live without my coffee. All this time
was subject to frequent bilious at
tacks, sometimes SO severe as to
keep me In bed for several days.
After being married, Husband
begged me to leave of coffee for he
feared that 1t had already hurt me
almost beyond repair, SO l resolved to
make an effort to release myself from
the hurtful habit.
Il began taking Postum, and for a
few days felt the languid. tired feel
ing from the lack OF the coffee drug.
but l liked the taste of Postum, and
that answered for the breakfast bev.
erage all right.
Finally l began to feel clearer
headed and had steadier nerves. Aft
er a years use of Postum l now feel
like a new woman-have not had any
bilious attacks since left OF coffee"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read THE Road to
Wellville.' In pkgs.
Postum comes In two forrns:
Regular Postum-must be well
boiled. 15c and CSC packages.
Instant Postum-is a soluble pow
der. A teaspoonful dissolves quickly
In cup of hot water. and, with cream
and sugar, makes a delicious bever-
age instantly. SOC and SOC tins.
The cost per cup Of both kinds 4
about the same.
There's q Reason" for Postum.
--sold BY Grooexs
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06
PlMPLEs RUINED COMPLEXION

724 e. N. Ave-, Olney, Ill.-"When
my trouble FIRST began noticed little
pimples coming on my face. They
itched and burned so badly that l had
to scratch them and that only made
them worse. About q week later my
face was 30 badly covered with
pimples and blackheads that l was
ashamed. My complexion was ruined.
The pimples would sometimes bleed
and tester.
Il bought box of complexion cream
and used 1t but without effect One
day heard Of Cuticura Soap and
Ointment and decided to give them
a trial. So l got cake Of Cuticura
Soap and box of Cuticura Ointment,
washed my face with the Soap and ap.
piled the Ointment and in two weeks
I was completely we'll" (Signed)
Chas. e. McGinn, May s, 1914.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world Sample of each
free with 32-p. Skin Book Address post
card "Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston. ADV
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06

reports indicate 1t sometimes takes
lot to kill 4 modern soldier. the
New YorA World states. Sergeant
Fougere OF France received eight bull
let wounds, broken arm and other In
1ur'es. and although shot in the calf
thigh and ankle, escaped being cap
tured by Germans and limped ten
miles to his regiment. Another French
soldier received six bullet and three
oayonet wounds and Is recovering. The
french war office estimates only two
men are killed out Of every one hun
dred hit. The penetration is so clean
one soldier did not know he had been
hit for three hours, and another bullet
went through two soldiers and lodged
In a cavalryman's saddle.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06

Kidney Pills the swelling disappear.
ed and he felt himself again. He says
he has been benefited and blessed by
the use Of Dodds Kidney Pills. Sew
eral months later he wrote: I have
not changed my faith in your remedy
since the above statement was author
tzed. Correspond with Rev. e. He's
lop about this wonderful remedy
Dodds Kidney Pills, SOC. per box at
your dealer or Dodds Medicine Co.,
Buffalo, NJ Y. Write for Household
Hints. also music Of National Anthem
English and German words) and re-
cipes fol- dainty dishes. All 3 sent free.
Adv.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06
Save the Babies.

INFANT MORTALITY something fghtful hardly
OF al the children born in civilized countries twenty-five cent.
they aeh - - "
We do not hesitate to that timely Of castoa would
these n,e deaths occ.Oned BY the Of narcotic
more or sS opium or morphine They in considerable quantities
death Castcs exactly the but
the blood properly,
Of the skin and alays fever. ~ u01
Genuine Caera signature efCE1<ZVZ[H<
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06

"Three years ago was In q
Avrstched condition with backache,
bearing down paine, and at times was
90 sore and lame that l could not
move about. l had Inflammation and
Irritation, and although / used differ.
emit remedies they did me no good.
"A neighbor who had been using
Peruna advised me to try it. and l am
glad that l did"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06

ing. was dizzy
and exhausted at
the least exer-
ton. Hands and
feet were cold
and he had such
a dragging sensa-
ton across the
loins that It was
difficult to move.
After using 8
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06
Mustn't Be Quoted.

Dolphin looks so important you
would think he was crammed full Of
state secrets"
so he does. II Dolphin makes a
prediction about the weather he ex-
tects you to treat 1t as strictly conf
Dental"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06
AcLERoYMAN's TESTIMONY.

The Rev. Edmund Heslop Of Wig.
ton. Pa, suffered from Dropsy for q
year. His limbs and feet were swol-
Ten and pulled. He had heart futter-
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06
Heavy Cost Of BAD Weather.

1t has been figured that a days con-
tinued frost or snow In England re-
suits in the idleness of 100000 work
men.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06
PICKED OUT THE RIGHT TIME
SchooIboy = Good Deal Moro Thought
full Than Most Youngsters We
Ever Heard OF.

A popular member of a certain
school board tells a good story of
certain schoolboy who enjoys the
unique distinction Of having attended
one school for IL years without being
once absent or late. In evidence OF
this, the youth is the proud owner OF
II medals. When the eleventh medal
was conferred the boys mother was
asked whether her son ever had any
Illness.
"Oh, yes" she replied.
"Measlesf"
Yes"
"Whooping cough7"
Yes"
How is 1t. then. that he has been
able to make SO remarkable record
1t SCHOOL,"
well, he generally had EN- In
his holidays" was the proud mother
interesting reply.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06

Paw Knows Everything.
Willie-Paw, why is the way Of the
transgressor hard?
Paw-Because 30 many people have
tramped on 1t. cny son.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06
PROLONGED Probation,

Il do believe that by the time the
ham Is gone your love will also be
ended"
rs that SO? II you believe that,
better give me larger ham!"-Meg-
gendorfer Blaetter.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06

Many q fool man goes lame trying
to work rabbits foot instead of his
own hands.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06

In the world until after they join the
door slammers' union.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06
Relieved.

She-I hear small checks are to be
favored for dresses this season.
He-Thank heaven!
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06

Peruna has
Done
Wonders.

NJ r .. Emma
6tolt, No. e97
Alta tic ST.,
Appleton. Wis,
writes: Peru
ma has done me
q great deal of
good since l
began taking 1t.
and l am al
ways glad to
speak a good
word for n
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06

What II Takes.
I've got lung power enough to learn
the cornet"
Have you got courage enough?"
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06

Weeks Break Up-A-Cold Tablets
A guaranteed remedy for Colds and
La Grippe. Price 25c of your druggist.
It's good. Take nothing else.-Adv.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06

There is no process known at pres
ent for making copper as hard a.
steel. Such process is supposed to
have been known In ancient times
II anyone can discover such q process
he will have a valuable secret.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06

There are 100000 acres OF forest
In Japan, almost half the total area Of
the country.
The Oakley herald. [volume] (Oakley, Idaho) 1908-1961, 1914-11-06

YOUR OWN DRUGGIST Will. TELL YOu
Try Murine Eye Remecy for Red. Veal. Water
just Eys Comfort Write for Hook OF the Hys
by mali Free. Murine Hye Remedy Co.. ChicAi0
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-03-24
THAT SPRING FEELING.

When this feel OF spring gets into
the air. isn't it about time to so into
the country and cut cane?
Any kind of cane will do-an alder
stalk or a wand of hazel Then climb
upon the rail fence facing the sun
shine and wiittle it smooth.
If there's a youngster in the family,
take him along and make bark whis-
tie for him, or a boat TO sail on the
millpond
Down in the old swimming hole un-
der the beech trees at the bend OF the
creek the chances are that there are
fish waiting to bite-chubs and suck
ers and maybe a few redhorse. 1t
would be a bloom n shame not TO ac-
commOdate 'em, with worms so easy
to dig. And, though bony. suckers are
not bad eating while the snow waters
in the stream
II you prefer flowers. it's about time
for arbutus and pretty soon therell be
win tergreen berries and the fragrant
roots Of the sassafras. A nibble of
sweetflag. too. mightn't be bad for the
blOOd-grandma used TO say il was
better than pills.
The sweet young sprouts of the
pokeberry are as good to eat as the
first tips Of cultivated asparagus and
there's nothing in the old notion that
they're poisonous. But if you're scar
ed Of 'em, il won't be long until the
fields will yield tender young leaves OF
plantain. sourdock and horseradish
which boil up into excellent greens
Whatever your fancy, get out OF
doors and close to nature-it's what
spring is for
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-03-24

On the first page OF a daily news
paper is printed the picture of a girl.
In the explanatory note below it is
stated that the girl left home two
weeks ago and that she is seventeen
years old. The further information
is added that the girls mother has
been i'll ever since she left.
The face of the girl is fair. the
features beautiful. the brow serene.
Masses of dark hair somewhat Sc
dately parted in the middle crown the
picture Of youth and innocence. There
r. no guile in the large. lustrous eyes.
The eyes are calm and truthful. a
study or the face shows unsophisti-
cation but no lack of character. IL
is the face Of a child to whom the
worlG is a place of wonders. 1t shows
no signs OF either moral depravity or
mental defect
What could have impelled this love
~ innocent trusting girl To leave
home? Was it repellant forces from
within or seductive influences from
without? What misconception of duty
on the part Of parent or child what
cruel misunderstanding of the possi-
bilities of -ife forced or drew this ten
der bud OF humanity from the shelter
ing care of the parent gree?
II is difficult Co anticipate the weak
ness, the strength. the vagaries OF
human nature. They are nest under
stood in their manifestations. The
best that can be done is TO take pre-
cautions against those influences which
contrast the weaknesses or excite the
vagaries Fate often turns on slight
causes. Some trivial thing. doubtless.
life. but 10 her exaggerated vision il
seemed important vital 10 her well
fare, her happiness
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-03-24
POSTPONE IT. GIRLS.

The following letter was received
from two little girls recently and
shows how great is the need Of social
centers where young folks can cOngre-
gate and get acquainted. Social cen
ters have been established ia. several
middle western cities and increasing
attendance and enjoyment, by both
children and parents. are evidence of
their success.
This is the letter. Dear Editor:
Do you think that girls who firt have
a better time than those who do not?
We are IA and 3 and are attending
high school and see "a lot OF flirting.
We have behaved ourselves and acted
like ladies. bEt 1t seems that boys do
not care for girls who do not nirt.
Though we are not boy crazy we would
like a good time and TO have boy
friends. Would you advise us TO wait
until a chance comes, or can you sug-
Fest some way BY which we could be-
come acquainted with some nice boys
who would respect nice girls?-W b.,
IT, l."
The "other girls" may think they
are having a better lme than you,
and YOU may think they are also. but
don't let that bother you as much as
how good a time you're going 20 have
% or 90 or 80 years from now. While
the other girls are flirting and appar-
emily having a good time now. you can
be filling your little heads with as
much knowledge as they Will carry and
at the same time have a pretty good
time. even If the boys don't cut a very
big figure in your fun.
About four or five years from now
would be time enough TO worry about
the boys not paying enough attention
10 you, but il. in. the meantime, YOU
have built up your mind and body 20
q healthy happy young womanhood.
then you will not have to fiirt 40 meet
the boys.
Get acquainted with all the boys and
girls who can now and play with the IN
like the children YOU are. Later thCse
same boys will be falling all ever
themselves and stepping on each other
trying TO win your respect and affec-
ton
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-03-24
THE MELTING POT
COMET TAKE POTLUCK WITH US
AXE POTLUCK WITH US.

IANDO NM
III. WhoiS WoIlu II sOIhs hnau
,,.1 ,Noout lnis 'siiso s1uPn' -.
ny even MA ana SUN olg Ds'u
A-e 7e'''hs Hiis"'S ious"'
-
II Salh NdllA GIdpe me. I1esl1d'loh'
VA Ia a "onuICuS as ileeiVh,
So Joiheu haiuS WIN every
To demonstrate each new creation.
r. n.
..I2T--r ., inc,n,ras 7, n : s.bovv arc
vot, GOING 70 capcel q ,,a,.cal most stamn
on an egg vitbo,1t bresl.ine the eog ,
Tbat We ren1y is Postn1astar cen
raj n"i iesoh business
The Mexican shooting Gallery.
(SenOr Whereto. ProDrietor.)
one President .1O cigars
One General cigars
one American - . cigars
One Federal ........ l cigar
I'M vi
THERE Is q neriod in every intelli-
gent masculine MIND when if becomes
innnregnated win tho sociaIistic hing
and il is nrohahIe the prince of Wales
Is nassing through that stage. The
" 80 Ill
''''
Explosive English Humor.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-03-24
THE ENEMIES OF BUSINESS CON,
FIDENCE

We cannot resist the impulse to re-
vert to the topic of non-employment
in this city to which attention was
especially called in the Herald yes
terday morning. The calamity howl
ers" and the promoters of profession
a mendicancy in University Settle
ments. ana, alas, in some Of our
churches, have put forth day by day
as a sweet morsel the statement that
there are $4,000 persons in this city
who cannot obtain employment. The
figures as corrected by the police force.
show that the total number of idle
persons who cannot obtain employ
ment or who have not obtained en-
ployment is $4,000.
For many weeks the figures 325, 600
have gone the rounds of the press, the
pulpit and the platform. Yet they
constitute a libel not only upon the
city of New York but upon the United
States. The publication of these false
and misleading figures is at once a
blow to prosperity and d moose for
public confidence.
What discouragement these figures
until yesterday uncOntradicted, have
brought to hundreds of thousands OF
business men, How many enterprises
have been retarded by the display of
this lie regarding idleness in this city
retarded because if there were ac-
tually 1885, 600 idle in the city of New
York it would really mean that there
had already set in great business de-
preSsiOni
We trust that the figures furnished
by the police census Will be as widely
displayed throughout the country as
the false figures were and that they
will imediately be spread upon the
pages of the Congressional Record in
both houses of congress.-New York
IIaralI
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-03-24
WHAT THE PAPERS SAY

of aloOfness from their fellow men
and long TO get down from their high
estate TO mingle with the herd and
discover just how they VIII be treat
ed when separated from their Off
cal identity. 1t has been the fash
ion of some of the despots of an
cient times and OF very recent con-
stitutiOnal monarchs to seek relaXa-
ton by assuming either a disguise or
an incognito and going out TO mingle
with the herd.
Some of the best tales af the Arab
ian Nights are descriptions of he
night wanderings of Haroun Al
Raschid about the city of Bagdad.
These excursions gave him relief
from the sycophantic homage he re-
eeived when his people recognized
him. and il gave him a true view
of the state of the public mind in
spite of the lies of his courtiers.
Louis XI of France, was much
given TO wandering about Paris in
disguise for he was always suspect
ing conspiracies against him. one
Of the most notable Of these royal
mixers of a II time was none o Their
than the late Edward VII, of Eng
land, during the years preceding his
reign. He had . few intimates with
whom he could lay aside his rank
ordinary human tastes Robert Louis
Stevenson INDUCED in some fascinat-
ing Celebrations and CONGREGATIONS of
the adventures of the Prince of
Wales in "a series of tales beginning
With The suicide Club.
This desire o f President Wilson's
proves him to be a perfectly normal
individual and not a cold passion
less, calculating thinking machine.
Man Is a gregarious animal. His
natural association is with the hu-
man herd and whenever ne shows a
tendency to get away from it, it il
either because fate has been unkind
to him or because he has become an
abnormal person.
To be a president or a king seems
very fine, But either case is burt little
removed from a state of slavery or
Imprisonment The individual ceases
to live for himself and to act freely
in accordance with his own will He
loses some Of his confidence in his own
Judgment and feels compelled to seek
advice of the wisest men to be found.
Several mOnarchs whose names are
written large in history have earned
their regulations by inviting the ablest
men Of all callings to their courts and
making use of their talents The re-
spOnsibilities of high office instead of
swelling the head of the normal man
who appreciates his own limitations
makes him feel timid and dependent.
1t is pleasant 10 read this burst of
confidence from President Wilson be-
cause il proves him a normal in
diVidual whose greatest ambition is TO
be a useful man among men.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-03-24

TOO LATE.
Put the cover on and come away, let
Leave the weary hands crossed upon
her breast
Let the broken body lie in sweet re-
pose:
Place upon the lid the flowers she
chose.
Try not to pay TO Death the toll of
The toll she earned as mother, and as
wife;
Too late. your tribute fails to touch
the mind,
Where peace passeth understanding
for mankind.
WE have always felt that there was
some good reason for those beds that
sag In the middle being uncomforta-
bic, and now Doc Evans the health
crack, has told US. Perhaps you read
it.
"A bed" writes the doctor. TO be
comfortable. should permit the body
10 lie in a straight line. To do this it
should be constructed so as to con-
stantly maintain an elastic plane This
Will prevent the straining of the mus
Giles Of the side and bach and abnOr-
NAL pressure on vital organs" 1t will
also prevent much profanity and hard
feeling.
WE have known a bed Of the con-
cave variety TO break up a lifelong
friendship and To cause an estrange-
ment between husband and wife. Such
a bed is not fit for one person to
sleep in, let alone two. one person
n -,
mind and body. Two persons suffer
the consequences of too persistent
proximity.
THE Injunction to Lay over can
not be enforced
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-03-24
CUPID'S INVASION OF WHITE
HOVSE

The betrothal of another daughter
of the president is an event of appeal
ing interest. II will be more dis
cussed because Miss Eleanor Wilson
is only "a and and her affiarced hus-
band, Secretary of the Treasury Nc
Adoo. is more than twice her age, and
one OF his six children Is older than
his promised wife.
However. the grounds Of sympathy
and interest between the secretary ana
the serious-minded fiancee are readily
discernible The secretary Is a south
erner and the son of a university pro-
lessor. she is the daughter OF a
southern-born professor.
The secretary was born In Georgia
where Woodrow Wilson began the
practice of law.
The success of Wilson's campaign
was due 10 many aides. and one OF
these aides was William q. McAdoo.
vice chairman of the democratic ma
tional committee
The approaching marriage VIII re-
mind many of the most famous OF all
famous weddings of the white mousse
June >. 1886. when Frances Folsom, a
radiant beauty not yet % years old.
was married 10 President Grover
Cleveland. aged 40. These two also
had a deep ground OF interest when
traversed the difference in their ages.
Her father. Oscar Folsom. was a law
partner of Grover Cleveland. and on
his death in 1875 made Mr.. Cleveland
the guardian OF his child. The world
knows with what distinction he tul-
filled that guardianship. and one Oft
quoted remark OF his was that IN
which he described his married lie
as zone grand. sweet song
There could be no happier benedlc-
ton for the newlysbetTothed couple III
Washington than the hope that they
viii be as happy as the Cleveland ram
ilv who were famous for their gen
eral domestic peace-Grand Rapid
Herald
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-03-24

il il hoped TO counteract the usual
effects OF the first year of a new adj
ministratiOn.
In this instance it is believed the
wisdom OF the legislation passed is so
manifest il viii materially aid in
maintaining, if not STRENGTHENING the
presidents influence with congress.
The fall elections will inevitably deter
mine TO what extent the policies OF
the president have the support Of the
people