Connecticut western news., 1914-04-16
The Wurra Wurra Club

The clock, which was 10 minutes fast, was just striking five minutes to when the door of the clubroom opened, and scuttle of kindlIng wood and an armful of chestnut coal entered, along with Mir. s. Birchbeer Strong, the polite and gen. tlemanly sexton, who made his way to the stove in the corner, locking neither to the right nor to the left nor to the haif-rightand-left,a as he poked along no wonder, though; it was SO pitch dark that he couldn't have seen any thing if he had looked that way, or those ways. We'll, to cut a short story long, he found the stove and built a fire in 1t. Then he Int the lights. dusted the speak er's desk, and finished the job just as a whole crowd of members consisting of | Howard Slats and Con. Hitchcock came fiocking into the room. They were soon followed by about several others, or more, and when all had entered who wished, the polite and gentlemanly sex ton arose and got up and said-but what he said is of no consequence it was the way he said it. After which the presi- dent, MT. O. Ticklish Vosburgh, mounted the nostrum, tapped the desk lightly with his gravel, and called upon Mir. Sweeney, tDaniel,l to sing the Opening Ode. Mir Sweeney got up, shifted his quid to the other side of his face, and sang. Well, you otta heard himl Course, you know as we'll as l do, that Dams singing wouldn't land him in the grand opera class; but even at that, it wasn't half as bad as it sounded.
 The minutes of the next meeting were read by some fellow by the name of something or other-who came ia with Clint Roraback, from the hose house.
 After all these preliminaries had been disposed of, Chairman Vosburgh said: "Will somebody now make a speechw Judge Ford said he would be glad to oblige if the chair would supply him with a subject, but the chair replied that he'd rather dispense with the speech. The Judge had his oratorical clothes on. how ever, and wasn't going to lose his chance. He raised his right hand high heayen- ward to command attention, but pulled it eown again nightly quick. for he hap pened to be standing directly under the red-hot stove-pipe and burned his fingers on 1t. Then, with broken voice, which quivered with suppressed emotion ac- centuated by d fragment of chewing to- bacco that had slipped down his throat, he said: "Brethren, you know how I have labored and prayed for the uplift of our beloved Canaan; and now the dream is being realized. We are about to be upifted. The Dupont Powder Co. are building store houses on Elisha Bene- diets land, to contain tons and tons of dynamite and powder-and some fine morning we will all awaken to find our selves uplifted to that other Canaan from whence no spies will ever return to re- port on the lay of the land. It Is splen- did"
 "Mister Pres dent" spoke up the fat member. "I make motion that Mir. Dupont be made hon'ry member O this Club. He's tn fust man that has brought upliftin' industry t town in gin ration. We ort t git up banket fr him, with sasf'rilly an sponge cake fir dessert, an iadustual p'rade."
 Does the fat gentleman offer that as motion" asked the chair.
 "No sir" replied the fat member, "I offer it as a conundrum puzzle with but tons on it."
 "Well. give it up." said the chair, "and declare the whole powder house out of order." ... ....-... ..
 Ed Warner said he had few remarks which he wished to remark concerning the state personal tax, but Tax Collector John $. Reed interrupted to say that that reminded him of something, and he forthwith produced from his capacious inside pocket a bunch of tax-bills, all | made out, which he proceeded to sort over for the purpose of distributing them among the members. His action not only caused Warner to forget his speech, but inspired the bunch of members near est the door to PreciPitately skiddoo. Somebody moved to adjourn, and it was all oyer.
 Whoever originated the plan of enlist. I ir chfldrau in ha NunrL. nf