The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-05-24
NEE upon a time a certain Amer
lean manufacturing concern got
growing pains and decided TO
invade the Export Market about

growing palms and decided to
invade the Export Market about
which they had been reading IN an Ex-
port Journal
Instead Of sending one man on three
successive trips they decided to send
three successful men on one trip and
clean up the Job quick--llke thatl
They picked two OF their Gold Medal
Statesmen who had been laying in tall
harvests Of Orders every season at
home with no Crop Failures chalked
mp against them. There was no doubt of
their capacity to attend to business.
They never rode past Dlnk Town be-
cause they were ashamed TO get OF In
the presence OF other Statesmen who
were making the Big Jumps. and they
never hung around bars soaking up
booze They were strictly Non-Porous
The third young man selected was a
young Frenchman whose father had
shipped him off to America to learn
Business and unlearn Monkey Business.
Dear Firm picked him with some mis-
giving. True, he had been doing fair
work for Dear Firm In the Local Trade
ana had even got in overalls for
twenty-four hours at the Factory, thus
thoroughly mastering the practical end
of the Line.
But he smoked cigarsttes, drank
claret with his dinner and always took
Time Out in a Selling Talk to rubber at
n passing Peach. However. the Firm
decided to overlook these drsb habits
because he could speak French, whereas
the two Non-Porous boys spoke only
Americanese, with strong Y. N. G, A.
accent.
1t was decided 20 sand the squad
to Russia first. The Frenchman said
he could lead them safely through tho
land Of the flores u'hlsker on the French
language, but tts Firm promptly nixod
the suggestion.
They said he oouldn* lead COW. He
associated with clare. anS clearcttcs,
and all Leaders are abst.Trious. said
Dear Firm. Furthermore they Eel, that
the Russian language wan tho only
negotiable Tine OF chatter for that Trade
On q high stool In tho Brokk~ep,nk
pep'l rnent "a. a long silent Lark. He
had once boon Professor OF Languages al
the HicXsvi.ls College sat later decided
to earn y !.y:ns. For fourteen mouldy
years come AichRel;nAs he had been
warming tho High Stnol and Was a
Trusty for Fair. He had never been late
q: the Office out onA day in his lie, and
that was when he punctured hts bi,ycie
tire riding over a Pointed Remark that
some one TAD cropped.
hs WINS Seoretary OF the Local Sunday
schooi boerd' wore large. orthodox spec
tecioa and had wrought iron face.
Nopody ever saw him smile. and he
never tha~ed' and he was highly re-
spected' Also he spoke Russian like a
chinese Leundryman, md at was what
mace hit with Dear Firm.
so Il 'waS decided that old Iron Face
should act as Interpreter and Project for
The Boys, and something was man
toned to him on the quiet about keep
Ing an eye on the frisky F'renchman
In due time tho bunch got started.
For about two weeks afterward old Iron
Faco and the two Son-Porous Bow. aid
nothing but cit around and stare. The
sight OF whole wops of lovely women.
Jewels, champagne and High Life gem
orally laid them numb and dumb. and
their eyes got CLASSY and chimes rang
IN their large rcd ears. pubuoue was
never like thatl
mo week Following their arrival In
Petersburg found them thoroughly lin
bered and flying around in isvoschlks
TO the Mar!nsh and the Aquarium
and the Ice Palace and the gay cab
arets that open .. midnight and close
when daylight besins TO sting the ewes.
Old Iron Face started TO raise side
whiskers and snoke Turkish cigarettes
in an amber holder q yard long and
tuck his Handkerchief in his cufY and
take small VODKA before his caviar.