The Detroit times., 1914-12-02
ROOSEVELT MOUNTE-
BANK AND HALF CRAZY,
But AMERICAN
,coatlnuea from rase oac.J

viewer across the corridor III his sud
den burst OF hospitality he called on
the porter for assistance.
In his room the speaker at once
made preparations for a morning nap
and when the reporter left az the end
OF l5.minute interview, the Hon.
Champ Clark was In bed and droWsy.
The conversation in the room was
resumed by Clark, who again de
handed: Now, what do you WANT
About the speech you are"
mot speech. interrupted the
speaker, pulling at recalcitrant shirt
button. Say q lecture--you know
the difference between a speech and
lecture? No? Well, I'm going. 20
tell you damned quick"
He removed the shirt button, pulled
the shirt over his head and let il
dangle at his side while he explained
that he received pay Cor a lecture.
but not for q speech.
What are you going To talk about2'
The man who wanted to be presi-
dent sat on the edge of the bed and
looked meditatively at a hole in the
toe OF one OF his pale blue socks.
Anything | damn please, was the
answer, and then he startled the "a.
porter by adding: I'm going TO talk
about Pullman car porters. I'll dare
you TO write that down. | came over
from Cleveland last night, and don't
know what business I've got In one
of those sleeping cars. They are run
for the sole benefit OF the porters.
Somebody will cut the throat of the
man on the car ! rode through on
last night. Some day somebody 70
going TO resent his ownership OF that
car. They'll get tired OF II and begin
whiting his jugular."
Another attempt was made to m
duce Speaker Clark TO discuss the In
dustrial situation. Again the speaker
gazed at the sock with the hole in IT,
BY laborious effort, accompanied by a
series OF deep-seated grunts, he re-
moved the sock from his foot and let
II drop on the floor.
Business prosperity Is great" said
the speaker, bending over TO remove
the other sock I've been all over
the country In the past four weeks
and conditions are fine"
What's your solution of the prob
lem OF the unemployed" was asked.
Waving one OF those blue socks In
the face OF his interviewer, the speak
er replied: "Nonsensel Know the
meaning OF that word. nonsense?
Well, that's the solution. The unem-
ployed are just going to work, that's
all there Is to II"
The speaker rubbed his bare feet
on the rug; then with great delibern-
ton unlocked his suspenders and
kicked his way out of his trousers.
Clad in his underclothing, he rolled
into bed, pulled the covers over him
and yawned He rested for a few
minutes before resuming converse
ton.
Now you've interviewed me, so
I'm going to interview YOU" he an
nounced, suddenly.
Whom are you for for president?
Wilson? Roosevelt? Why don't you
say me?"
DO you think. Mr.. Speaker, that
Theodore Roosevelt is through po-
litically?"
He answered quickly: mo. Roose-
welt Is a strange fellow. He's got the
ear OF the public. He's a great curl
osity-a mountebank Any damned
mountebank has the ear OF the public
and about 100000 voters. Penrose
Is man OF grit and burden"
There was pause after this state.
ment. The speaker OF the house
closet his eyes and doZed.
All sit down" he murmurad
Question considered"
The speaker was dreaming. ARGUS.
ing himself he continued:
Yes, and when Theodore Roosevelt
Announces what he wants, 4UU0.00p
people will yell 'hurrah He's half.
crazy, a mountebank, but American
to his hearts core. He's the phe.
nomenon of the century. Got that all
down right?' II you haven't, good
night, and II you have. goodbye. I'm
going to sleep"
And the speaker rolled over on his
side, closed his eyes, and was appar.
emily resting easily when his visitors
softly closed the door OF his room be.
hind them.
Tonight Speaker Clark will lecture
lecture, remember-before the
Board of Commerce, on Picturesque
public men,"