davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
Good Cheer Aids
Digestion of Food
DTspspHcs Can MAKE fhe Resf of
the Family Happy BY Using
q Laxative Tonic.

The temper Of the family and the
good cheer around the table depend so
much on the good digestion OF each
individual present that the experiences
Of some former d~yspeptics who over
came their trouble should be Of inter
est to those now suffering in this
way.
The best advice one can give-but it
is advice that is seldom heeded-is to
eat slowly and masticate each mouth
full carefully. However, II slow eating
and careful mastication fail the next
aid is one close to nature, DR.. Cald-
wells Syrup Pepsin. This remedy is
an excellent digestant, and In addition
to helping In the digestion Of the food,
acts gently on the liver and bowels.
Kidding them Of the accumulation OF
waste that should long ago have been
passed OF. 1t is safe, reliable, pleas
ant-tasting, and results are guaran-
teed.
Maj. s. Martin, of Joplin, Mo-, now
n. thinks DR.. Caldwelrs Syrup Pepsin
has helped him to a longer and hap
pier life. He has not felt 80 good in
years as he has since taking this ex-
cellent medicine, and in spite of his
n years he says he feels like a boy.
1t 10 the ideal remedy for indiges-
ton, no matter how severe; constipa-
ton, no matter how chronic, bilious
ness, headaches, gas on the stomach,
drowsiness after eating and similar
annoyances.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
Grass Man.

Manuel L. Quezon, resident COM
missioner from the Philippine islands,
has an interesting map, sen him re-
Gently, 1t is one representing the is
lands, and is i've of a kind of fiber
in different c%olors, some tints show
ing the land and others water. Even
the titles are wrought In colored
grass. The whole thing is about three
yards long by two wide, and hangs
on the wall Of Mr.. Quezon's room, a
most conspicuous object to every Wis
ltor. 1t is the work of the pupils of
n of the native colleges. Near by
is an oil painting of Wilson done by a
Filipino artist, and admirably done,
too. Its frame is of different kinds
of wood, all hand carved in graceful
designs.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16

You can obtain DR.. Caldwell's Syrup
Pepsin at any drug store for fifty cents
or n dollar, the latter size being
bought by heads of families already
familiar with its merits. Results ara
always guaranteed or money will be.
refunded.
When you nse Syrup Pepsin you will
see the fallacy Of chewing mints and.
tablets or Of taking cathartics. salts,
pills and similar drastic medicines. I'm
like these, Syrup Pepsin does not lose
its good effect, and by automatically
training the stomach and bowel u
cles to do their work, soon restores
these organs to normal.
Families wishing to try a free SAM
pie bottle can obtain it postpaid by ad-
dressing DR.. W. B. Caldwell, 2O3 Wash
ington ST., Monticello, III. A postal
card with your name and address on it
will do. =
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
OF DEBT DEFERRED
Borrower Willing to Live Up to Con-
ditions Made, but the Time Had
Not Arrived.

Secretary of the Treasury McAdoo
heard all sorts Of tales about the coun-
try going to the bowwows because of
the decision to put out fifty million
dollars in southern and western banks
to help move the crops.
ITO hear the tales of calamity that
was to befall the United States"
said the secretary, "one would think
there was nothing to it. 1t reminds
n Of Tom and John.
Tom, who had lent John five dol
lars, n day asked, John, amt it
time you paid me that five dollars?'
"''Tain't due yet, said John.
But you promised to pay me when
you got back from New York
well l amt been thar yit.'"-
Sunday Magazine.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
PUNCHES A PRISONER
Boarding House Keeper Settles
Grudgo With Man Charged
With Thefts.

New York.-"Do you recognize this
man?" asked Captain Kerr, in the
West Forty-seventh street police sta
ton, Of Mrs. Mary Kelly of So West
F~ifty-second street. The mar was a
tall German.
Mrs. Kelly looked intently into his
face and then pushed her gloved fist
against his nose Just as hard as she
knew how. Then she repeated ths
performance.
She identified him as a former room
" at her home, accused Of jewelry
thefts In numerous boarding houses.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
Wltte on War.

Count White, the famous Russian
statesman, estimates that 40 per cent
of the total income of the great pow
ers is absorbed by their armies and
navies. OF the consequences he
writes: when and how will it all
end? Unless the great states which
have set this hideous example agree
to call a halt, SO to say, and knit their
subjects into a pacific, united Europe,
wal Is the only issue l a perceive.
And when / say war, l mean a con.
f1ict which will surpass in horror the
most brutal armed conflicts known to
human history and entail distress
more widespread and nor terrible
than living men can realize"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
MIXED" Tobacco.

James Hazen HYDE" said a New
York tobacconist, advised me, for
the smokers good, to fight the ma
tionalizing of the tobacco trade. He
illustrated the condition of the French
nationalized tobacco trade with a
story. "a Frenchwoman, so the story
runs, said to her husband, as they
promenaded in the Bots: Have you
got a pin, my dear?' Well he an
swered, I've just bought a packet of
government smoking tobacco, and as
it's apt to contain anything, why not
a pin. Let us see. Humph! A shoe
button, a tooth pick, would a hairpin
do? No? Well, no matter, for here
at the bottom is a pin, after all"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16

- - = sIH
Showing the Interior Construction
of the Beachy Head Lighthouse in
England and the Arrangement of the
Lenses.
lamp which is surrounded by sets of
lenses.
Electric light is used in the great
H%antsholm lighthouse in Denmark
which is situated in the Skager Rack
at the northwest coast of Jutland, this
point being a dangerous one for ma
riners on account of bad weather and
heavy seas. Ships in great numbers
pass this point in going from the
North to the Baltic sea.
The set Of lenses is quite a compli-
Gated one, and the whole is mounted
on a platform so as to rotate bodily
around the center arc lamp and thus
produce a succession of flashes. At
one side will be seen the powerful arc
lamp with Its regulating mechanism,
which is here removed from it's posi-
ton inside the lenses. 1t is naturally
a difficult matter to rotate such a
heavy body as the platform with the
lenses. Here it is mounted on a set
Of rollers SO as to turn around, but in
other cases the problem is solved by
using a ring shaped float under the
table and this is made to float in a
circular mercury trough so that the
mercury takes all the weight of the
table and allows it to turn with very
little friction.-Popular Mechanics.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
Important TO Mothera
Artists, conxrinht.

A legal measure, which will be of
extraordinary Importance to artists
and which as law exists in no coun-
try, is now before the French parlia-
ment, and has been reported favor
ably upon by the fine arts committee
of the chamber. This measure insti-
tutes a copyright for artists, painters,
craftsmen, sculptors or engravers,
such as is enjoyed by writer's
and musicians. The bill levies a roy
atty on all public sales Of works of
are held during the lifetime Of the
artist, for his benefit, or for SO years
after his death, for the benefit Of his
heirs.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16

men could study 1t was both interesting and amusing, he says, to sec the
expressions On the old sea dogs as they heard the courses outlined and dis
cussed the studies they were going to pursue. The real spirit of the work,
following day and the men went to their class rooms.
THE enterest that was developed on the part Of the men was amazing"
mr.. Reeder said. 1T so happened that a night or two after the work began
I stood a mtdwatch with one of the junior officers and in coming down the
quarters l heard two men talking in subdued but earnest tones. One man
said to the other: Why, you fool four times eight is thirytwo. Amt you
never going to learn that? And 1t struck me that II the educational plan had
gripped men sufficiently to keep them at work between and 2 o'clock in the
morning IN simple sums in arithmetic was going to prove of rea value to
the personnel of the feet"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16

IlenU- answered. central There's Boston" ~ M"
bostonF was the astounded reply Somebody from Boston calling me?
You must be mistaken- s@ %#@ H
Eeno! Helo!" came impauently from Boston, and, without waiting for
response, launched into a TRADE Of abuse. a
You're h man that got up on the house floor the other day and de-
clared That the Boston tea party was one of those historical fakes; that our
ancestors were all drunk at the time-eh?"
mo, madam. l assure you that you are mistaken. I'm n ct the man. You
have the wrong man, l say" But shrill calculations that he was the man
and he needn't deny It Interrupted.
But madam, you are only spending a lot OF money to tell me of some.
thing T.
4 don't care how much money / spend, / wanted to have the pleasure Of
denouncfng you--you, who are trying to be mayor of Boston. Yes, you're q
fine nan to be our mayor. now, aren't your"
Il don't know, as I am not aspiring for the honor / am Representative
Cary and I live in Wisconsin, when I can, and am at home"
"Oh, oh-oh, am SO sorry! Oh you just don't know how sorry / am sir!
] wanted to talk to Representative Curley. You know he is"
Yes, madam, 1 know he is running for chief official of your city About
his speech m the floor T." e&#&
Pardon me- please, Goodby-"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
platinum Grows Costly.

Russia produces nearly all the
worlds supply Of platinum. about 49,
$50 pounds annually. In 1892 It cost
sso a pound, and It is now worth $4SS
q pound. Extensive deposits found in
Germany will, 1t is hoped, considerably
increase the worlds supply.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
Not That Sort

Miss Flirtie-No. it cannot be- /
am already engaged. :
Adorer-Eh? If you were already
engaged, why didn't you tell me so?
Miss Flirtie (indignantly)--I am not
the sort Of a girl to boast Of my con
quests.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16

IH6 IdSk OF l6dCnIng INC men. THIS,
in substance. is the report of George
A. Reeder. shipboard secretary of the
Young Mems Christian association,
assigned to the Atlantic battleship
feet, made public by the navy depart
ment.
Secretary Reeder relates that on the
second day at sea the men Of the feet
were summoned below decks to listen
to the reading of the department cir
cular, outlining the plan of education
and the YarinnR lines of study that thu
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16

to adipose tissue. Mr.. Kahn is a
great traveller and has found his size
of some disadvantage in foreign coun-
tries when 1t comes to the matter Of
transportation, for in China the men
who carry passengers in chairs al
ways get twice,the number Of carriers
when be goes out on a trip. 1t was
the same way in other Oriental lands;
everywhere he had to pay double.
In Japan. however, he met his re-
ward. In the land of the chrysanthe-
mum fat is regarded as a sign OF
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
Wife Made Him b COOKING.

New York.-Because his wife insist
cd on discussing hats and gowns when
he desired to talk music. Gregor
Skolnik, d violinist, sued for separa-
ton. She also made him do the cook
Ing, he asserted.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
Mayor Harrison ! Movie Fan,

C~hicago-Mayor Harrison has be-
come a real movie fan. He spends a
part OF every day In the city's board Of
OF censors Watching the first run Of
films In the moy;e room of the city
hall.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16

beauty and Is a n object greatly to be wished for by the men. One evening
Mr.. Kahn and his wife were at a bazaar. Stronng about they finally paused
before the booth Of a fair maiden XIII
The girl gazed with admiration on the imposing figure Of tho American
representative and at last ran out from behind the table. threw her arms
around his neck and burst out into ordinations Of delight. #
"Oh, how NIGEL" she cried in broken English. Nice and fatt" proceeding
to bestow a series Of most emphatic hugs on the object Of her admiration.
Mrs Kahn burst into laughter and the representative FASTENED to extricate
himself and HE away from the building
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
Had the Right Idea.

Small Chris had been given a toy
bank and was told to ave all his pen
MES. The next day he said: Mamma,
please give me a quarter"
What do you want it fort" she
asked.
Il want" replied the young finan-
cier, ito get it changed into pennies
to save"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
Only Too WuIinu.

Optimistic a hero and always pay
your taxes with a smile.
T%axpayer-I would like to, but they
won't accept them. They insist upon
money.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
From All sides.

Can you send a dog by parcel
post?"
I'm afraid there would be a howl
about 1t II you did"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
Not a Maoadam.

Mr.. Hayseed-I see that another one
of them automobiles has turned turtle.
Mrs. Hayseed-Funny how so many
of them turtles will get in the road,
amt It?
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
Educational Work Makes a Hit With the Sailors

MOT only are the enlisted men Of the navy displaying an amazing interest
~ in the educational work recently instituted by Secretary Daniels on board
warshps, but the officers also arr applying themselves with great diligence to
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16

When a man starts out to paint the
town the police are pretty sure to
catch him ~red-handed.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
Usual Combination.

Young jerks, Pm afraid, is a bad
egg"
Yes, and he's a fresh one, too
San Francisco Chronicle.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16

Anybody who tries to get rid of his
faults by advertising them makes a
mistake.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
LIGHTHOUSES OF THE DAT
Structures Along French Coast Have
Been Brought to High State.
Of Perfection.

Paris-Some of the modern light
houses which have been erected along
the coast In France and other coun-
tries have nov been brought to such
perfection that they will send a beam
for so to so miles out at sea, and in a
few of the largest lighthouses this
beam gives as much as three billion
candlepower; for instance. in the La
Coubre lighthouse erected on the At
iantic in the region of Bordeaux or
the newer one a Virgin island, the
highest In the world $3.50 feet at the
entrance of the channel. Both OF
these use q powerful electric are
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16

Putnam Fadeless Dyes will last un-
ill the goods wear out. Adv.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
Rep. Kahn Says Japanese Girls Like Fat Men

rrHE writer Of the popular song, Nobody Loves a Fat Man." oughtyt toe o to
i Japan and learn his error. So says Representative Julius Kahn of Cali
who is very far from being a "lghtweghto champion when 1t Gomez
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16

Sh0 SHSA ONShlH5, I6CouCly, u6 al
tended a stag party, and did not get
back to his hotel until some time after
midnight. 1t was Saturday night, or.
rather, Sunday morning. and he
slipped into bed with a sigh of relief
at the thought that he could sleep all
day il he liked.
About seven o'clock the telephone
bell rang, startling him out of the
incest rest he had had for weeks. So
it was not with a very pleasant voice
that hn said.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16

Say, sis, do the flower fairies ride
on the horse c~hestnuts?"
Yes, dearie, and they use lark
spurs"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
Naturally.

How did the new health appointee
do in the vaccination crusader"
HE came UP to the scratch"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
Wrong Man, but Got CaI-Down lust the Same

d REPRESENTATIVE W. !. CARY of Milwaukee, Wis, is considered a very
N busy man. 1t is only occasionally that he can steal away and forget that
he is in the capital of his country, representing one of her great states On
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16

Most Of us have to struggle along
without the things we really want.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16

war; said Breckenridge. IN fact today l am the acting secretary of war"
THAT does not enttle you to the floor privilege" responded MI. Ghormley
\ have been told that l can go in" persisted MI. Breckenridge.
1t is against the rules of the house" responded Mr.. Ghormley. IF you
a son of more authority l will send for the chief doorkeeper"
Mr. hormley sent a page to hunt UP Joseph F. sinnott. chief doorkeeper
The boy could not find him. At this point Representative Oscar Underwood
passed by. ~ pH.@ sG#
IF you are waiting for someone you may 60 o my Office" said MI. Under
wood
! wish you would find out whether can go in" insisted Mr. Breckenridge
I 70 not intend to be subjected any further to such indignihes young man;
give me your name" % ~ #t
l Mr.. Breckenridge took the name and went away. a
The rules of the house admit only cabinet members. and 1t was agreed Mr.
Ghormey was acting within his rights. IN.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16

MT. bFecKenridge Is very MUCH IN
terested in the tolls debate and the
other afternoon started to walk past
William Ghormley, assistant door
keeper, who guards the portals at the
southeast entrance. Mr.. Ghormley
put up his hands as a sign to Mr..
Breckenridge not to enter.
Il am entitled to enter" said Mr.,
Breckenridge stiffiy.
"How's that?" asked Mr.. Ghormley
courteously.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-04-16
Acting War Chief Is Barred From the House

WAsHNGToN-Henr Breckenridge, assistant secretary of war, found
w the other day that the rules of the house does not admit to the
assistant secretaries. even though they are for the time acting cabinet ON
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1914-08-25

whom have earned worldwide re-
putaticn as expert racket wielders.
Since it's inception in 1881 the Ma
tional tourney has grown to proper
lions which are in keeping with the
general interest which It has created.
Each succeeding year the matches
develop some sensational feature.
Glass always tells as was clearly DEM
onstrated twelve months ago as the
finalists for the championship singles
Maurice II. Mclaughlin and R. N.
Williams End had first returned from
England after being mainly respon>
sible for the return of the famous
Davis cup to America.
The singles title in the last thirty
three years has been won by thirteen
players the first of whom, r. D.
Sears, held it for seven successive
years. w. A. Larned also won it
seven times, and A. S. Campbell and
M. D.. Whiteman were three times
winners. H. w. Slocum, Jr., took II
on two occasions, while those who
had one year victories were f. J
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1914-08-25

Detroit, Mich, Aug. 23.-All ar.
engagements for entertaining the
Grand Army of the Republic, at the
expense Of the Detroit taxpayers, for
the forty-eighth annual encamp1nent
|of the old soldiers here August 81 to
September S, have been completed,
with the PROJECT that the veterans
will find themselves the object of un-
usual attentions on every hand.
For several months the city c0un-
Gil acquiesced in a proposal by May
or Oscar B. Marx that a special tax
levy Of 8 cents on every thousand
Of taxable property be made
to raise funds for entertaining the
veterans, o score of committees
made up of 200 leading business and
professional men Of the city has been
ct work with headquarters in the
mayors office working out details of
entertainment.
The souvenir programs, and badg-
IS, which alone represent an outlay
of over $4,000, will be handed over
to the veterans gratis. To avoid the
appearance Of operating on a profit
- #&r E#HL.&~ nBE- #-.
making basis the city has refused all
advertising propositions; both re.
quests for advertising space in the
programs and all applications for per-
mits to sell souvenirs or souvenir
badges of any kind.
It will probably be the first time in
history Of the encampments that the
G. A. r. men have been free from
bombardment by street hawkers.
The plan Of street decorations in,
cludes large white columns, twenty
two feet high, in the heart of the
city. Large oil paintings, of men Of
yslcr will be suspended between
these columns, and the whole will be
ornamented with flags and electric
lights. Throughout the city local
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1914-08-25
COMB sage TEA IN ].
l|.fflEss, GRAY nAlR
II Mixed With Sulphur It Darkens
So Naturally Nobody Can

GRANDMOTHER kept her hair beauti-
fully darkened, glossy and abundant
with a brew of Sage Tea and Sulphur.
Whenever hairfell out or took on that
dull, faded or streaked appearance,
this simple mixture was applied with
wonderful effect. By asking at any
drug store for "Wyeth's Sage and Sui
phur Hair Remedy" your will get a
large bottle of this old-time recipe,
ready to use for about SO cents. This
simple mixture can be depended upon
to restore natural color and beauty
to the hair and is splendid for dan
'drutf, dry,itch scalp and falling hair.
A well known downtown druggist
says everybody uses Wyeth's Sage
and Sulphur, because it darkens so
naturally and evenly that nobody can
tell it has been applied-it's so easy
to use, too. You simply dampen a
comb or soft brush and draw it
through your hair, taking n strand
at a time. By morning the gray hair
disappears; after another application
or two, it is restored to its natural
color and looks glossy, soft and abun.
dant.-Adv.