The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-09-04
On the Spur
of the Moment
The roi1at Of view.
BIZ ROY X. NoULroN.

/ O$OWA a. ~ 4uO glare.
| Would he turn out? No, not q bit.
He'd try to hog the road.
When they would ask him to give way
he'd yell, I've got q load
His hatred for the gas ma chimes waA
unrelenting. quite.
1t was q mania with him: he talked II
day and night.
He said that any Teller, Who would
drive one was q fool:
| For father was a backward man, who
| followed the old school.
But things have changed since then q
bit. Although for years he roared
About tho gol-dum devil carts. he's
gone and bought q Ford.
he beats 1t round the countryside at
thirty miles an hour,
| And when an old horse heaves in sight
he crowds on all his power.
He nearly busts with anger when he
wants the right Of way,
And hollers: For the love of Mike,
lay over there. you jay!"
He's got the latest fol-de-rols, green
GOGGLES and the like;
He Is the greatest motor f1end who
ambles down the pike.
It's just the same old story. Yes. in
deed: it's nothing new,
The war of car and horse depends
upon the point Of view.
Uncle Abner.
1t il a wise lawn mower that knows
its own master.
see an eastern scientist says am
bition is an unyie,ding desire to keep
diggin'. A lot Of folks around here
have been affected that way. but they
all thought they had MOSQUITO bites.
All of the gals who are disappointed
in love want to go into the manicurin'
business. while all the fellers that are
similarly disappointed want to join
the army.
Little things often cause a lot of
trouble in this world. There is the
microbe, for instance.
There amt nothing that will add an
air Of respectability to a Teller like a
pair of nose glasses
Elmer Hicks says he is going to get
job workin' at the plumbers trade.
By jung! didn't think anybody
worked at that.
In the olden days a man couldn't be
a preacher unless he wore a long
tailed coat, a white lawn tie and an
air Of deep melancholy, but things
have changed. Rev. Frink of our viii
lage wore a pair of white duck pants
to the Sunday school picnic, and there
are those who say that he is learning
to play on the phonograph.
Lem Higgins hears that oatmobile
tires are going up, SO his family has
gone on a corn meal diet. Lem ex-
poets to sell the house and lot and
buy a new set
The Upper.
He Travelled round the country and he
tipped where'er he went,
And he was nearly always broke or
else was badly bent.
He tipped the chair car porter and the
boy wig lu8Ged his grip;
In fact. there WASN'T anyone whom this
man didn't tJp.Tsl -..s-,.-.
He tipped the old hack driver who took
him to the hotel.
He tipped the hotel porter. and each
time he pushed the bell
He tipped the bellhop handsomely be-
cause he knew he must;
He knew that he was up against the tip
receivers trust.
He tipped the cafe waiter and he tipped
the bus boy, too,
The leader of the orchestra and all
his merry crew.
He tipped the barkeeper every time
he went to take a drink;
He tried to tip the mayor, too, before he
stopped to think.
He tipped the car conductors and he
tipped the corner cop:
He'd got the tipping habit SO he really
couldn't stop.
He tipped the auto scorcher who ran
over him one day:
They took him in a basket to the hos
pital straightway.
Before the operation he produced his
friendly purse,
He thought he simply had to tip the
doctor and the nurse.
When he had reached the other shore
his terror 1t was great;
He had no coin with which to tip st.
Peter at the gate.
Know q Man.
know a man who knows Just how
To fix your touring car;
He stands upon the curb and tells
| What a chump you are.
| But when his lawn mower starts to
squeak,
He knows not where to drop
The oil to make It run again,
And sends It to the shop.