davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1914-01-11


Yes. l have. We have a hot-air fur
mace"
You've hit it. but it's probably be-
cause you've wasted at least three tons
of coal this winter. Yes. We have a
hot-air furnace, but what is the princi,
pie on which II works."
There is cold-air box leading into
the furnace. and the cold air Is warmed
by the combustion of coal and sent
through the various pipes and registers.
Shut of the cold air and you would get
no heat"
He had hoped to trap her on the fur
mace, but her reply showed that she had
better understanding Of II than he had
himself, and there were a hardness and
a sarcasm in his voice as he continued:
Il beg to congratulate you, Mrs. Bow
ser, and / almost feel as II you could
change n SO bill in an ice cream parlor
and not get swindled out of a dollar or
two. One more question. We have a
range in the kitchen. 1t IS made of iron,
as you probably know. How is that iron
o5tained?'
In the first place. they dig the ore"
replied Mrs. Bowser. Then the ore is
melted and separated from the foreign
substances. Then il is huNed and re-
melted and run of into pigs. These pigs
are again melted at the stove foundry,
and the hot iron is run of into molds in
sand"
MIR. Bowser had nothing to say. She
had fairly answered his question, better
than he could have answered himself.
and he felt aggrieved and insulted that
a woman could do this. When he had
been silent for a moment, she looked up
and queried:
Amy more questions, dear?"
II suppose you think you are awful
SMART he growled.
NO smarter than the average woman.
1 think we had better open two schools
this evening, as there are a few ques-
The Washington herald., 1914-01-11
Your Uncle 'Lisha
Take Things Easy If You Would Grow Fat

reach the gates of pearl that a Chink
or an African will be elbowed over the
fence in no time
Mr.. Doe," / said somewhat sternly tc
my neighbor the other morning. .-the
crying of your baby last night kept me
awake for hours
Yes, IL had the collie" he replied.
But couldn't you have stopped IL be
fore you did?'
sure. Uncle. but had I done SO my
wife would have at once begun playing
the piano.
Few OF US know when we are wei,
on.
"'Lishs." said my good wife. as she
dug me in the ribs the other midnight
wake up!''
''Yes?'
Il hear a noise"
so do i. 1t is a rooster GROWING"
But this Is right down stairsr'
Then We haven't to get up in the cold
to search the back yard"
But it's burglar. 1 tell your
But it may be a cat"
do you want to be murdered in youl
bed!" she demanded.
mo. but 1 object to going down cellar
to be murdered"
IF you don't get up 1 will,''
You Were always a self-sacritcins
SOUL
She tumbled out Of bed. and after lis
tening at the head of the stairs for a
moment she whispered:
Il thought J heard a burglar cough!'
And he surely heard you jump out OF
bed He having given himself away by
a cough. and you having jumped he will
follow the rule of two and skin out.
Come back to bed
And in the morning we found that il
was simply the cat eating the parrot that
occasioned all the anxiety Ct the occa-
sion. Half our troubles would be moth
ing if We understood them.
Not only are all men born free and
equal, but the man who penned the
The Washington herald., 1914-01-11
Mr.. BOWSER'S MEDAL
It Was One He Won as Champion Scholar

| After dinner Mr.. Bowser had gone up
stairs to look over a catch-all drawer in
search of a collar button, and at the end
of half an hour he came trotting down
stairs with a medal I'm his hand to say to
Mrs Bcwser:
81 haven't seen it before in twenty
year."
rs it your lost rubber boot?" she
asked.
Its my champion medal"
"For winning a fat mans race
There you go with your sarcasm!
It's my medal for being the best scholar
in a class of 400.'
! 'Indeed," observed Mrs Bowser.
As she said no more and simply glanced
at the medal, Mr.. Bowser giared at her.
shook his fist at the cat, and after a
| minute said:
Il should think you would want to
know things"
"Yes2"
woman was not ordained to know
much in comparison with man. but she
need not remain quite as ignorant as a
bump on a log. She should at least be
able 10 understand the everyday things
surrounding her. I have often wondered
at your ignorance and felt it my duty to
turn teacher. but you have such tenn
per, you know"
with sigh.
..And you'd be willing to learn?"
"Of course"
"And not raise row.
mo"
"well. I'll open an evening school, so to
say. and try to learn you a few things
"You mean teach" she interrupted.
There you go the first thingg' he
shouted as his spectacles fell OF his
nose. Don't you suppose / know what
I'm talking about? Well / say learn.
Z mean learn, and II you are going TO
jump on me like that this school will
stop before IL begins!"
"I want to be learned" and won't
See that you don't. Now. then. you
have gone along the street and seen
pile of bricks, haven't your
Yes
"You recognized them as bricks?"
II did
And you didn't wonder If they were
turnips?'
NO"
Every well. Did you ever stop 10 think
how bricks were made-whether they
came out Of the ground like potatoes or
grew on trees like apples? No, you
never did, of course. Not one woman in
a million has One of the main factors
in the creation of mighty cities is passed
by without thought. and you go rushing
down to some bargain counter to get a
Z cent bottle vaseline for 6 cents
But I've been in a brickyard and seen
the clay dug, tempered. and nodded and
then the bricks put up in kilns and
burned" she softly protested.
'Oh, you have! Then you know what
bricks are composed Of? I wouldn't have !
The Washington herald., 1914-01-11

dick. He hasn't got enough business to
pay his room rent. and yet he is always
advertising for a copyist on a type
writer"
"Jes so, sir Two awfully goodIooking
typewriters went up there this after
noon.'
Did. eh? The old villain! As I said
he doesn't do two shillings worth of ,busi-
ness per week, while 1 am rushed to
death"
''Yes. sir. I've heard you were. You
need five typewriters to his one to get
your business letters and circulars OF. T"
That's II. Sammis. II the old bird
spoken of should see a good looking
woman get of at my floor do you know
what he'd probably do?'
yes, sir He'd probably ask II she
inquired for your room?''
Exactly Sammis, and you would tell
him.
THAT she inquired for room 3. where
they keep tracts and Sunday school books
and Bibles
'Sammis," he said, as beautiful smile
played over his face, "Have you IA
ther?'
mo, sir. He died in my arms about
six months ago"
Then / will be a father to you, my
boy, and any time you happen 10 neeu
a coin or two. don't hesitate to ask me.
There are two or three other old birds
besides Fosdick in tins building. and
every one of them gossip about me when
ever they can find a listener. Have you
heard any of them saying anything in
particular. Sammis?''
well. sir, l don't ike to say anything.
but being you are my adopted father.
you know"
That's right, Sammis. A son should
not hesitate to tell his father any
thing"
Then III tell you that Mr.. Fosdick
said that an old mossbsck with grownup
children and q third wife who'd spend
The Washington herald., 1914-01-11

half his time riding up and down in the
elevator to chin with the girls ought to
be tarred and feathered."
He did, eh? Why. darn his old goatee.
but I'll smash his ciiin this very day,
Did he call me by manner"
mo. sir: he Just said a certain old
reprobate on the seventh fioor-a hoary-
headed villain with a castor oil smile. a
Goldfish complexion and mutton-chop
whiskers."
Yes, he meant me. and by the brow
OF Napoleon I'll paste the old coon in
the eye on sight. Keep quiet, Sammis
! don't want him to know that your
adopted father has dropped to his game,
you know
81 understand, sir
And, By the way. Sammis. here's a
dollar for YOU 1t spoils some bows to
give 'em money, but you are different
from most boys, and I know you will
make good use of il. The idea of that
old reprobate slandering me in the way
he does! Why. III catch him by the
neck and kick and break him in two
across my kneer
And that evening when told Mr..
Rasher what was said he sighed heavily
and said:
'sammis, it's Just awful how those
two old birds do carry on. but, of course,
We cannot be held morally responsible
for their conduct. Should any good-look-
ing young woman ever call and ask for
either of them. you'd better say they've
moved out bag and baggage"
"Yes. sir. and warn them against all
such old birdsg'
;You will. Sammis-you will. It will
be your duty to do so. Here is a quar-
ter for you, and let IL remind you that
truth is mighty and always brings it
own reward"
l shall stick to truth and pile up the
quarters.
SAMMIS.
The Elevator Boy.
The Washington herald., 1914-01-11

| tions I should like to ask you. What is a
window glass made OF? You see II at
home. I'm the Office. all around you as
you ride or walk. 1t is one of the main
factors in building Up mighty cities.
Perhaps you have paused long enough
in your rushing up and down with poll
tics to post yourself?''
Woman. what are you trying to run
this thing into-' he almost whooped as
his face turned the color of a beet. I'VE
viii let window glass and all other sorts
of glass 20 to pot, never Yet set out
TO learn you
Teach me, dear"
Teach be hanged That's. twice you
have crowded that word down my throat
say it's learn, and when say thing
that settles 1t. Enjoyable evening! Happy
The Washington herald., 1914-01-11
WHY BRUTUS FAILED.

He sat on his door step of his humble
cabin, resting himself after the labors
of the day. when a boy about twelve
years OF age crossed the street and sat
down beside him.
wall, Brutus,' began the old man.
after a moment, has yo' dun bin to de
possofhs, as tole yo' to?"
Yes, fadder," was the reply.
''Whar's de mail?
Didn't dun git no mail"
What! Didn't you inquar' for Moses
Washington Green?"
Yes, sah."
AN fur Mrs. Washington Green?" .
YES sab"
And fur Miss Evangeline Green?"
"Yaas."
And fur Miss Linda Green?"
':Yaas."
Boy. Doan' you practise no foolish
ness wild mel, Did yo' inquar' if dar was
any lettah fur my brudder, Cashus?"
Il did, sah.''
And my sister, TildeT"
"Yes, sah'
"And did de postmaster dun look?"
HE did. sah."
Didn't you git no letters nor papers,"
Muffin tall. sah.''
Did you dun inquar' in loud voice?'
Yen"
Wasn't in hurry about it?"
NO, sah.''
wall, dats powerful Gurus. Boy,
iook-a-heah. Did you duns ak dat poss-
office IL dar' was a lettah for my ole
uncle Rastus?''
'N-no, sah"
''Hu! Yo' didn't. Dat 'splains de hull
biz-ness cl-ar as MONDAY. All dem let
tabs has bin put in dat pigeonhole fur
Uncle Rastus, and yo' git right down
da- like streak o. grease and furnish
dat possofiice wild sich an egotistical cir
culashun as will dissfpate dem fo'teen
letters right up heah to me befo' dat
clock strikes 'leben times." J
The Washington herald., 1914-01-11

words into the Declaration of Indepen-
dence would no more have Permitted his
cook and his hired mansat his family
table than he would two babboens
Human nature doesn't change much
When lamp chops Were II cents a pound
a man got very wrathy If called a sheep
thief. They are now "A cents a pound
and still the man is not complimented
when he receives the same epithet.
When YOU come across a sleepy towr
that needs waking up you have come
across a divided community that keeps
the hand of progress tied because they
can't agree as to whether the cure should
bo dog fight CT 4 religious revival
They are pretty sure TO make a mistake
II they try either one.
Whenever I take up the life Of a great
man and read a page l long to be like
him, and at the same time realize that
can never be. WheE a man has corns
that must be pared off once a week the
most he can aspire to is to head the
Procession on Fourth of July as it passes
up Main street.
They tell of a preacher in Michigan
who has thrice prayed for rain to break
a drought. and thrice had his prayers
answered. As he gets a salary of only
$50 year a suggestion might be ten
dered him The wager is two to one.
however. that his congregation wouldn't
listen to it
The Washington herald., 1914-01-11

believed it. but I'll give you a long
credit mark. Now perhaps you can tell
me what mortar is? Mortar is pretty
closely related to bricks, you know"
Yes, without mortar bricks would be
almost useless. Which of the two kinds
OF mortar do you mean?"
$50 you know that there are two
kinds, eh? By John, but you have picked
The Washington herald., 1914-01-11
THE ELEVATOR BOY
He Tells How He Got Couple of Fathers

'.And you are fatherless and wrestling
with a vituperous mortgage on the home
stead?"
isn't it?'
The Washington herald., 1914-01-11

(sSSIIFo~o S@o>s |<0~ Co.'s irES
Teakettle soldered on again. and 1 threat
ened him with the bastinadO. He may go
on strike. If he does see that he gets
it in the neck. He won't have over Is
cents in his hind pocket, as he has not
been paid any salary for two years, but
YOU may have that
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1914-10-28
NORWAY LAKE.

Norway Lake, Oct. 26-There will be
services in the East Norway Lake
church next Sunday.
Miss Louise Gordhamer and Mr.. Aus
tin Gordhamer spent Sunday afternoon
at the A. Arneson place.
Mr.. and Mrs. S. Hatlestad announced
the marriage of their daughter Otelia
to Henry Nash of Ada, MINI. The mar
riage took place at the Presbyterian
parsonage at five o'clock, Wednesday
evening, Oct. 81. The bridal couple left
the following day for Dawson, Minn.,
and will be at home at Ada, MIMI, after
November LIST. Their friends wish them
long and happy welded life
Miss Helen Simson has been assisting
Mrs. o. A. Markell the past week.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ole Melby had their ba-
by baptized last Sunday at the c. Mick
elson home by Rev. I. A. Johanson.
Mrs. Olaf Railson and Mrs. G. Nordin
visited with Mrs. Gunder Swenson last
Sunday afternoon.
Mr. and Mrs. a. H. Gordhamer were
Willmar visitors last Wednesday.
Mrs. Elizabeth Markell passed away
last Sunday morning after four weeks
illness.
The Norway Lake band is progressing
nicely, and may possibly give a concert
by Thanksgiving.
Miss Clara Thorson and Miss Mable
Swenson spent few days in Willmar
last week.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1914-10-28
Auction Sale

Auction of stock at Oak Knoll in the
Village of New London on
Saturday, Oct. al,
beginning at o'clock p. M, when the
following property will be sold:
One cow, 8 yrs old, coming fresh Nov.
5; cow, yrs. old, coming fresh Mar.
3, this is one Of the best COWS in the
village, milk test 6.6; spring steer
calves; 3 ewes; one brown mare, yrs.
old, W.T.. 900, sound and we'll broke: nine
Full blood Poland China sow pigs, May
farrow; three full blood Poland China
boar pigs, June farrow, these hogs are
in fine condition and will make excel
lent breeders; Thorobred Barred Ply
mouth Rock chickens, best in Mime
sofa, will be sold in several lots Of six
hens and one male; eight Monmouth
Bronze turkeys, best blood in Kandi-
yohi County; single top buggy; l two
seated buggy; l two-seated surrey; 1
single harness; pair combination bug
gy runners. and other articles.
. TERMs:-All sums of $500 or under
Cash; over that amount 'one years time
will be given on bankable paper bear
ing per cent interest.
T. J. LAWSON, Owner.
r. c. SEVERED, Auctioneer.
"A. n. Mickelson, Clerk.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1914-10-28
coIaTAX.

VV&A3AAs
Colfax, Oct. 25-AndreW Olson OF
Clinton arrived here. on Saturday for a
short visit at his parental home. He
left on Monday for Minneapolis accom-
panied by his father, Knut Olson, who
will seek medical aid.
Mrs. Katherine Olson and Mrs. Albert
Thompson and children, Olive and Mar
shall left for Willmar on Saturday fol-
a weeks visit at the A. Ah1berg and O.
r. Thompson homes.
Mr.. and Mrs. SEVERN Olson and chill.
dren have returned from their recent
visit at Flandreau and Sioux Falls, S
Dak
Mikkel Olson is reported to be on the
sick list" -..--
Miss Alma Imsdahl who has assisted
Mrs L. o. Mikkelson the past month
left for her home at Belgrade on Fri.
| day.
A baby boy was born to Mr.. and Mrs
Theodore Syverson. Oct. s.
| Joseph Lee Of Willmar visited at Mix,
KEEL Olson's on Thursday. .->a Z
| Mr.. and Mrs. Colonel Thompson lief,
| for Minneapolis on Friday. after &
short visit at the Nick Hagen home
They were accompanied on their return
by Mrs. Bertha Dahlsrsn. the formers
mother. ssS.sI: -. III .# I.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1914-10-28
P. A. GANDRUD
KANDIYOHI AND SWIFT
COUNTIES

I FAVOR:
An open market for farm produce.
Home rule and local supervision in
the expenditure of public moneys to
the greatest possible extent.
A county option law and an amend
ment to the constitution for state
wide prohibition.
The initiative and referendum on
substantially the same lines as the
present proposed amendment to the
state constitution.
The recall as applied to executive
and legislative Offices.
Adjustment of the present spoils
system as applicable to employees OF
the state department and the enact.
ment of an effective civil service law.
Reduction in taxation consistent
with efficient and economical govern
ment. - ~
Am unalterably opposed to brewery
and other special interest domination
in the legislature. !. IT,:
MY HIGHEST AMBITION IS TO SEE
WHERE THE PUBLIC INTER
ESTS LIE AND TO ALWAYS =. :
STAND FOR THOSE IN.
=. TERESTS.
p. a. GANoRUD. !
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1914-10-28
11w LONDON BOARD 03YuS
II N1ISoM 11oo1g1g1NDAT1o1
says He Deserves Larger Tisld Of
l. Usofulnoss. -,

Says He Dsssrvss Larger Tisld Of
Usefulness. -.
New. London. Mimi. March Is. 1914.
To Whom 1t May Concern:
Professor Arthur e. Nelson, our pres
ent superintendent Of schools. requests
Of US, who today compose this board Of
education, q letter of recommendation.
This we ought not to refuse. Really we
cannot with a statement Of written
words change any existing: facts, for
these are stubborn things. When we as
q board for eight successive years have
selected Prof. A. e. Nelson to take
fact in itself ought to be proof positive
that the professor has and does now en-
Joy the full confidence Of his employers,
and anything that we might here state
would not neither could, add anything
to show our appreciation Of his labors
all these years in our schools. Professor
Nelson deserves and is justly entitled to
q larger field of usefulness than we can
provide him with. AS an educator in the
public schools of this state, among the
younger men in the work If he has
any superiors, they are not many. Pro
fessor Nelson is in the strict sense Of
the word a public school man. The pub
lie school system of our state has nj
stronger and more staunch supporter
In severing the connection. with thi:
board we bespeak for Arthur E. Nelson
abundant success and we are assured
| that in the educational field, success il
in his grasp wherever he may locate.
Board Of Education. New London, Min
neSOta.
! HAROLD SWENSON, Sec'y
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1914-10-28
GIVE SYRUP OF FIGS"
TO CONSTPATED CHILD
Delicious "Frult Laxative" can't harm
tender little Stomach, liver
and bowels,

Look at the tongue, mother! II
coated, your little ones stomach. liver
and bowels need cleansing at once.
When peevish, cross, hstless, doesn't
sleep, eat or act naturally, or is fever
ish, stomach sour, breath bad; has
sore throat, diarrhea, full Of cold. give
q teaspoonful of California Syrup of
Figs" and In q few hours all the foul,
oonstipated waste, undigested food
and sour bile gently moves out Of its
little bowels without gripping, and you
have a well, playful child again. Ask
your druggist for 50-cent bottle Of
"California Syrup of Figs" which con-
tains full directions for babies, chill.
dren Of all ages and for gruwn-ups.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1914-10-28
FAHLUN,

Fahlun, Oct. 26-Mr. and Mrs. Louis
Felt and Mrs. Peter Felt spent Saturday
and Sunday at the Peter Berglund home
in Harrison.
c. A. Broman's young people spent
Sunday evening in Willmar
Mr.. and Mrs. August Broman, Mr.. and
Mrs. Adolph Brown, Mr. and Mrs. Roy
Strong, Mr.. and Mrs. Reuben Bromar
and Roy Broman Of Atwater, Mr. ane
Mrs. John Wicklund, Edgar and Am,
Wicklund, Mr.. and Mrs. Chas. Broman
Mr.. Claus Johnson, Lille and Chas
Clausen spent Sunday at the Lawrenc,
Wicklund home.
Miss Mae Broman came home from
Litchfeld hospital last Saturday eve
ming, after having had an operation or
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1914-10-28
10 CENT "0AsUARETs"
n BILIOUS OR CoSTIVE
For Sick Headache, Sour Stomach,
Sluggish Liver and Bowels-They
work while you sleep.

Furred Tongue. Bad Taste, 1ndiges'
ton, sallow Skin and Miserable Head.
aches come from a torpid liver and
clogged bowels. which cause your
stomach to become filled with undi-
gested food, which sours and ferments
like garbage in swill barrel. That's
the first step to untold misery-indi.
gestion, foul gases, bad breath, yellow
skin, mental fears, everything that is
horrible and nauseating. A Cascaret
tonight will give your constipated
bowels a thorough cleansing and
straighten you out by morning. They
work while you sleep-a 10.cent box
from your druggist will keep you feel.
ing good for months. AZ.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1914-10-28

her knee.
Rev. and Mrs. Magnuson Of Atwater
visited at the Rev. Holmes home Mon
day.
English services will be conducted by
Rev. Holmes at Oak Park next Sunday
evening at eight o'clock.
John Kleberg and family visited at
Frank Nelson's Sunday.
The Oak Park and Kandiyohi M. E.
| churches gave Rev. Holmes a surprise
| last Tuesday afternoon. Rev. Magnu-
son gave a very interesting talk, after
which he presented Rev. Holmes with a
sum Of money.
c. A. Broman and son Waldron drove
to Colfax Monday morning. returning
| the same day.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1914-10-28
Free Booklet.

I have some very interesting booklets
explaining how Nature cures disease if
given a chance, and how Chiropractic
adjustments give Nature this chance.
Either call at the Office or write for
them. They are free.
Lewis E. Coss. D. c., Ch1rOpract0r.
Office in Loney Block
Phone $40 Adv. Willmar MINI.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1914-10-28

Lewis e. coss, D. C., has secured
offices In the Loney Bldg. Mr.. coss
Is a graduate Of the PaImar School. Of
chiropractic and invites those wishing
his professional services to call. Con-
suItation and spinal analysis FREE
Adv.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1914-10-28
Gard OF Thanks,

, We wish to express our heartfelt
thanks to neighbors and friends for
kindness shown us during the illness
and after the death Of our beloved hus.
band and father. Also for the many
beautiful floral tributes.
Mrs. Thomas Sherman
Peter Sherman. r..
.- ( Mrs. Emma johnson. -
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1914-10-28
Gard Of Thanks.

I wish to express my sincere and
grateful thanks to the many friends
and neighbors for their kind assist
during the illness and after the deatu
of my beloved sister, Frances. Also for
the many beautiful floral offerings.
Hilda Ledell. 81
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1914-10-28
FIRST II, <. Ladies' Aid,

The Ladies' Aid Of the First NJ. E.
church will meet. at the church base
ment. Wednesday afternoon, November
18th. Lunch will be served after four
o'clock. Everybody cordially invited
TO attend.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1914-10-28
Card Of Thanks.

We wish to express in this way our
sincere thanks to all friends and neigh
bors for their kind assistance and
sympathy shown us after the death
Of our beloved husband and father. We
also wish to thank them for the beau
tiful floral offerings.
Mrs. Annie Peterson,
and Children.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1914-10-28
Mr.. mcDermott has always been af-
fi|iated with the Republican party and
has always consistently supported
all Progressive Republican movements
Third Ward Polling Place.

Voters of Third ward will please take
notice that the polling place has been
changed from Maloney's building on
Third street to the place next east of
Strands grocery store on Benson av-
enue, lately vacated by the Singer Sew
inc Machine Company.
Ed. Johnson,
G. P. Karwand,
A. H. Sperry,
Judges.