davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13
sharp Rstorts.

A man who was Offering gratuitoua
information at a country fair was dis
paraging the show Of cattle.
"Call these here prize cattleY' he
scornfully said "Why, they amt moth
in to what our folks raised. You may
not think 1t. but my father raised the
biggest calf Of any man round our
parts"
Il can very well believe it, observ.
ed a bystander. surveying him from
head to foot.
Il is not every one who enjoys a Joke
at his own expense. The judge who
pointed with his cane and exclaimed.
There is a great rogue at the end OF
my cane" was intensely enraged when
the man looked hard at him and asked
coolly:
eat which end your honorT
A friend Of Curran's was Dragging
OF his attachment to the jury system
and said:
with trial by jury I have lived. and
by the blessing Of God with trial by
jury ! viii die"
"Oh," said CuiTan In much amaze
ment, then you've made up your mind
10 be hanged. DickT-LOndon Tit Bits
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13
Aerial Flights.

TO NJ. Pegoud we are indebted for
putting the initial S in "sky."-New
York sun
Massachusetts arrests and fines all
aviators falling within the state with
out a permit. 1t muses. up the land
scape Avlators must go over into
Rhode Island for their falls.-Minne-
apolls Journal
Summer over and that aeroplane
flight across the Atlantic not attempt
ed, and yet the newspapers are accus-
ed Of being ungenerous with their
space to publicity seekers.-St Louis
Globe Democrat.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13

Jones. new recruit. was sent out
Tor target practice on the ranges. He
did fairly well at 300 yards for a new
one, but at 800 he generally managed
to drop his bullets short The sergeant
patiently explained the raising Of the
sights and so on. But Jones still fell
short He saw the sergeant coming
hack. His buddy" whispered to him.
Sergeant II ask you why" the bud
dy" said. Hell want you to tell him.
see what the trouble is. It's Here
his voice was scarcely audible. The
recruit fred away-short again
why in blazes can't you shoot high
erT' demanded the sergeant. What's
the troubleY"
I've found out what the trouble is
sir" answered the recruit I'm afraid
| haven't been pulling the trigger hard
enough. New York Post
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13
ATMOSPHERIC CHANGES.
What It Means In Air Pressure Whom
the Barometer Falls.

the Barometer Falls.
1t is not an uncommon thing at GER
tain seasons Of the year for the ba-
rometer to shift an inch within TWEEN
ty-four hours. Sometimes the change
is even greater. Few persons have
any idea what tremendous changes in
the atmosphere are indicated by such
q rise or fall in the mercury column.
cubic inch Of mercury weighs half
a pound. When the mercury falls an
inch a weight Of one ton is removed
from every 1900 square inches Of
surface. This Is a ton for every area
five and a quarter feet square. II
your house, for instance, is % by 40
feet. with an area Of 1000 square feet.
load Of about thirty-six tons Is lift
ed from the roof every time the pa
rometer shows an inch fall-that Is, a
thirty-six ton load would be lifted II
the house were air tight But as air
presses in every direction there Is as
much Of a push upward against the
roof from below as there is Of a push
downward from above SO the roof
actually feels no effect from the re
moval Of this heavy load
In the same way a man Of average
vize would be relieved Of a weight Of
about a ton and half II there were
no air chambers in the human body.
IL has been figured that a fall Of an
inch in the barometer over a territory
400 miles square removes a weight
from the surface Of the earth Of &c.,
0OOOOO.OOO tons If this We're loaded
on freight cars, twenty tons to the car
and thirty cars to the train. more than
26OOOOOOO trains would be required
TO move it. If each train were 800 feet
long they would stretch out in line
more than 25O0O,OOO miles long.
The only noise that accompanies
this great transportation feat is made
by the wind. that does considerable
roaring in the course Of such violent
atmospheric changes. Kansas City
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13
Kean's Suggestion.

When Charles Kean was playing the
part Of Richard the Third his fearful
grimaces almost frightened the other
actors out Of their wits One night a
new man took the character OF the sen
tinel who awoke Richard. When
asked, "Who is there?" he should have
taken up the che with the words: IT'S
1, my lord The village clock hath
thrice proclaimed the hour Of morn"
But Kean's facial contortions threw
the sentinel into such a fit OF stage
fright that he forgot most Of his words,
stammering, "'Tis I. my lord. tbs l
my lord; the-the village cockr' He
repeated this three or four times, so
that when Kean said. Then why on
earth don't you crown" the audience
was cOnvulsed with laughter.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13
Tho Game Of Golf.

On the notice board Of a Liverpool
golf club. says the Liverpool Post, ap
pear the Following verses typewrltten
on tue club notepaper:
Swat tho ball and walk a mile.
Swat the ball. It's worth your while.
Walk a mile and swat the ball
Walk some more. Nor Is that ALL
Swat the BAH and walk-what thenf
Swat the ball and walk again.
After that you walk and-whatf
Once again the BAN you swat.
Swat the ball and walk stin more.
Keep on swatting as before
When as far as this you've got
Swat and walk, then walk and swat
Golf, Of course. has been defined a.
a good walk spoiled, and a low come
dian once described the game thusly:
you hit ball as far as you can, and
If you find 1t the same day you have
won"
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13

A curious effect Of the wear and
tear to which the earth's crust is con
hnually being subjected is shown
In the DEVILS slide in Utah and Other
peculiar formations all over the west
There exist on the South river. IN the
Wasatch mountains "a part Of The
Rockies). singularly capped pinnacles
or slender pillars rising from 40 to 40O
feet high and most Of them crowned
OF capped by huge stones These pil
lars are not the work Of man. but art
memorial monuments Of huge hills
from which they are cut out by the
action Of the air and water and the
zone remains Of many square miles Of
solid rocks which have been washed
away to a depth Of some 400 feet
The greater hardness Of the surface
has caused It to resist corrosion NOR
than the underlying rock, thus leaving
huge cans Of stone Derched high In the
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13
Woman's World.

There are 372.635 women teachers
and professors in the United States.
In Bombay women exercise the mu-
nicipal franchise and therefore indi-
rectly control the legislative councils,
some Of whose members are elected by
the municipalities
Magdeburg. Germany. is to have a
school for the special training Of wom-
en- and girls as shop clerks The city
Of Berlin has already provided such
raining by means Of a special course
for salesglrls in the new continuation
school.
Dangers Of Crowds.
When a man is standing still his
weight acts vertically downward, but
GA moving be exerts a side thrust
greater than his weight Consequently
crowd moving rapidly on a structure
Eke pier exerts a tremendous side
wise pressure which tends 10 throw
the pier over II man stands on a
plank bridge It bends slightly, but II
be walks across It sways violently up
and down. a regiment Of soldiers
marching In step across a trestle or
other light bridge would cause such
tremendous swaying motion that Il
would give way, and so soldiers al
ways break step" In crossing such a
bridge.
On a certain swing foorbridge across
a glen In the north Of Scotland Is a
notice forbidding Newfoundland dogs
to be taken across. These dogs trot
IN such perfect rhythm as to cause a
dangerous sway" In a small bridge.
A man rising to a standing from
sitting posture exerts on the ground
force equal to twice his weight Thus
when a crowd suddenly springs to its
feet az a football match or theater the
strain on the supporting stands is
enormous and has 20 be allowed for by
the engineers. -Pearson's Weekly.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13
Current Comment.

Mr.. Carnegie's peace palace at The
Hague has been "inaugurated" and is
now ready for business. Probably.
however. war will not be Immediately
bolished.-Boston Globe.
There is to be a worldwide move
meut for street safety. One very i'm
portant point will be to prohibit the
use of city streets as race courses for
speed lovers. Baltimore American.
The powers now say that Turkey
must respect her treaty with the Bal
kan allies. Turkeys trouble is In find
Ing allies that will stay allied long
enough to be respected. - Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13

Victor Herbert the composer. once
said OF a musician whose work he dis
liked.
The prophecy that was made about
this chap In his boyhood has come
true. In bis boyhood his mother said
OF him:
'Oh. he's such a remarkable child
a perfect prodigy, In fact He remem
bers every tune he hears
"'Well. wellr said a pianist who
was present
Isn't that a very rare and val
liable facultyT his mother asked.
at isn't rare said the pianist but
it's certainly valuable. Il will prob
ably enable him TO become In after
years a successful composer
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13

"Of course" said the salesman. "any-
thing handmade is sure to be superior
to what Is made by machinery"
"Not always" answered the musical
person. IF you start up music box
It generally plays something IN the
way Of standard composition But
when anybody sits down at the piano
and turns out something by hand the
chances are that 1t will be ragtime"--
Washington Star
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13

Utilize your spare moments One
can accomplish much In this way while
dummy at bridge.-pittsburgh Post.
What asks Jane Adams could
be sillier than derby hatY Outlines,
Jane, the man under it.-philadelphia
Inquirer
Maybe people would have more faith
Ia the weather bureau If it wore long
white whiskers and smoked a corn
cob pipe Exchange.
A New York farmer raised turnip
that weighed eight pounds otherwise
It Is understood he is all right good to
his family, etc.-Toledo Blade.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13

Magistrate TO burglar-what Is
-FOUR trade?
The Handy One-Locksmith. yer wor
hip.
Magistrate-W What were you ddine
when the police entered?
The Handy One-Malxing a bolt fol
the door.-1ohn Bull
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13

A dispute once arose between an
English landlord and his tenant The
latter had given notice TO quit. but
would not put a bin in his window to
say this house was ITO Be Let"
To make matters worse. they went to
law about It. The judge. having heard
the case. made an order for the de
PENDANT to put a bin up within four
teen days
The landlord was so overjoyed at his
victory that on the fourteenth day he
took friend with him around to the
house to chat his tenant. The bin was
up in the window plain enough, but
under It was another bill. which ran
as follows:
cause Of leaving-bad drains"
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13

The books I'm the library Of the house
OF lords number about G0OO0 volumes.
and they are set out IN n luxurious suit
Of rooms. The library is particularly
rich IN historical works and memoirs
and includes one Of the finest collec-
lions Of law books In London. London
Telegraph.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13

who shall say is asking for himY'
inquired central Of the man In the
booth.
'Nr. O'COhen."
"Mr. WhoY
"O'Cohen."
"Wait a minute. The wires are cross
ed."-New York Tribune.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13
Poetry

"a famous educator says everybody
ought to read a little poetry every
day"
Il agree with him. II most people
would read poetry every day perhaps
there wouldn't be so many trying to
write t-"-Birmingham Age-Herald.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13
The Cookbook.

Add a teaspOonful Of cold water to
the white of an egg TO WHIP more
quickly. This increases the quality as
well.
The secret Of haky pie crust is the
use Of hot water mot boiling) rather
than cold IN mixing the dough. II this
suggestion is followed the crust will
ALWAYS be flaky. tender and crisp.
The addition Of a little soda mixed
with a teaspoonfuI Of corn starch to
the cream before pouring 1t into the
tomato mixture will prevent curdling
In the making Of creamed tomato soup.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13
In the Distant Eutur..

The dressmaking art win not have
reached its highest degree Of perfec-
ton until a woman can change he1
gown as quickly as she changes her
mind Cleveland Leader.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13
One Swallow Does
Not Make q
summer
~ HOLLAND.

A M one advertisement
~ does not make a bust
ness success. But the man
who sees one swallow In the
early spring knows that the
bird Is the fOrerunner Of the
coming summer. The swal-
low may disappear for a
time, and chill winds may
blow, but the swallow will
return with other swallows,
and the summer win surely
come.
One advertisement will not
make your business all that
you would like to have it, but
1t will have its influence, and
It brings the promise Of a fu-
ture that viii be all you ex-
pect or desire. Follow It with
other advertisements, and
soon the sun Of prosperity
VIII bring the summer or
business growth.
You do not expect to do all
the business Of the week in
one day. You do not expect
TO do a months business in a
week or a years business in
a month. Then do not expect
to do weeks advertising IN
day or to advertise so much
in a week that your business
will be kept booming for a
month.
CONTINUOUS ADVERTls-
ING BRINGS RESULTS.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13

as there really any art in convers-
lng2"
"Of course; always say small things
in big way and big things in a small
way Minneapolis Journal.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13
sIIaht omIsaion.

81 thought you said he was a man
1f meansT
Excuse me- left on the adjec.
tive"
"What adjectiveY"
Limited birmingham Age Her
aid.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13

air on points OF their cUiumns. ners
and there can be found a double col.
umn capped by a single stone, thus
forming a natural bridge both unique
and picturesque.-Hea
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13

Hans Won Buelow. the pianist, at one
rime posted on his door a notice that
was quite IN the London vein: Before
Noon. Not Receiving; Afternoon. out
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13
Tact

1t is well to admit occasionally to
your friend that he knows more than
you do II gives him a great impress
sion Of your discrimination and good
sense.-New Orleans Picayune
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13

Knicker-There's plenty Of room at
the top Booker Yes. but your wife
lets YOU have only the bottom bureau
drawer New York Sun.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13

Knicker-Did you move to the coun-
try in order to bring your children up
to play on the grass7
subbubs-No; so that the real estate
agent could bring his children ND de
Gently In the city.-Bro0klyn Life.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-13

A little in ones own pocket Is better
than much in another mans purse
Cervantes.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1914-12-17
NOTICE--STREET PAVING
ASSESSMENT
BOARD OF ASSESSORS OFFICE
Detroit. December IA. 1914.
Paving Notice No. 1913
McGRAW AVENUE

To Detroit brewing CO.. John zro-
mex, A. Dyheiski. Harvey. Chas. II.
Strahler. Alice c. Crum. Louis Blom-
ken. Wood Bros. L. NJ. Gill, A. Il. How
lett, Max Wagnitz, e. A McDougall. II.
J. Miller, Emma NewbeIt i. w. Diehl.
w. Brozik Marion Kowalski. Marshal
A: sherwin. George Kern. J. Brown. e.
Meyer. Clarence wolff. Hy Metz. w.
c. Miller. Mrs. III. J. Rundel. ID. l..
Sherwood, Thomas +. Norris, City OF
Detroit. Peter Stislicky. +. r. Rogers.
Christ Fanzlau Est, A. shelby Est,
III. Fischer. +. L. Taylor. Ernest Lam
parte, Carl +. Petrat. Lorenz a Miller.
John Miller. J. Neston Est. Warren
Ave. Meth. Church. and TO all other
persons owning; occupying or other,
In said City OF Detroit within the
limits hereinafter mentioned.
The Common Council or the City OF
Detroit. having ordered 80 much OF
McGraw avenue, from the west line OF
Scotch avenue on north to the north
curb line or Warren avenue, TO be
given that an assessment has been
made upon all the lots and premises
fronting on said McGraw avenue. and
liable to be assessed for said improve
ment under the provisions OF the City
Charter and that q roll OF said assess
ment is now completed, and will re-
main at the Assessors Office in the
until December goth. 1914. for the In
spection OF all persons concerned
BOARD OF ASSESSORS.
:. BY Daniel L. DIlworth.
A-l0s5 President.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1914-12-17
N0TICE--STREET PAVING
ASSESSMENT
BOARD OF ASSESSORS OFFICE
Detroit, Dec. IL. 1914.
Paving Notice No. 1912
CLAIRMOUNT PLACE

To +. w. Sill, Geo. @. Epstein. Jen-
ME simonson, Richard c. Jeffreys. Jos
Nicholl, Dan l. Colwell. A. III. Leayitt.
Harold u. Richards. .. j. Wright. Roy
Flanders, r. c. Spencer. w. Derusher.
Eva p. Peck, Chas. J. Peck. Chas. G..
smith. William Lauder. Sarah A. Clark.
Paul G. Renaud, Edmund Peters, Board
OF Education, @. G. Fry. Peter j. Boyce,
M.GF. Stewart, III. l.. Russell, O. j..
Wright, q. II. Elliott, Mabel NJ. Otis.
Nina ]. suthplne, Eionle A. Rogers,
Francis G. Gray, Dave Grey. Victor
Hedgecock. George II. Booth, Nellie
Roscoe. The Geobel Brewing Co. VIM.
Diederich, Albert p. Dledrlech, Rose l.
Nette, Geo. A. Holtz. and 20 all other
persons owning. occupying, or other.
wise interested In any OF the lots and
premises fronting on Clairmount Place
IN said City OF Detroit within the
limits hereinafter mentioned.
The Common Council OF the City OF
Detroit. having ordered so much Of
Clairmount Place. from the west Inns
OF Hamilton boulevard 10 the east curt
line OF Wilson avenue. 10 be graded
and paved. notice II hereby given that
an assessment has been made upon all
the lots and premises fronting on said
, Clairmount Place. and liable 20 be as
sessed for said Improvement under the
provisions OF the city Charter. and
that n roll OF said assessment II now
completed. and will remain at the As
SCISSORS office. In the city or Detroit
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1914-12-17

arats envelope with his bid a oertined
bank check payable toNths order OF the
Department OF Public Works or the
City OF Detroit for ths sum OF two
hundred dollars (S20O) Tor each sewer
bid upon, which viii be forfeited 10
the Department I'm case the bidder fails
10 enter into contract within i've days
after the acceptance of his tender. Con-
tracts TO be subtect TO the approval OF
the Common Council. the bidder
whose tender Is accepted will be re-
quired TO furnish with his contract
an approved bond To the city OF De
troit In the fun amount OF the con-
tract. conditioned on the faithful per-
Torrance OF contract
The contractor shall be paid in bonds
or the proceeds thereof, IN such bonds
are purchased by the Sinking Fund
Commission according to law.
No bids will be accepted from any
person or firm who 10 In arrears OF
default 10 the City OF Detroit upon
debt contract. or obligation TO said
city
Printed specifications in detail for
the above work may be had on appli-
cation TO the Secretary.
The Department OF Public Works re-
serves the right to reject any or all
proposals.
4ie7 GEO. H. FENKELL.
A-1iO0 Commissioner.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1914-12-17
DEPT. or PUBLIC WORKS
Detroit, Dec Is, 1914
FOR CONSTRUCTING W.T.
RIFIED CROCK LATERAL
SEWERS

Sealed proposals. will be received at
the office of the Department OF Public
Works, Detroit. Mich, until Monday.
Dec. 81, 1914. at 10 o'clock q. m, stand
ard time, at which time and place they
will be opened. for. furnishing all the
rings and covers. which will be furn-
ished by the city, at city yards, and
building and finishing complete, to-
gether with the back hliing, according
to the plans and Specifications on nle
In this office, vitrlhed crock lateral
sewers In the following described al
Sewer 40. asss. in alley In block
bon street and Rowan avenue.
Sewer No. 266s. In alleys In blocks
bounded by Central. Green. Wabash X.
r., Lodge and Qartner avenues.
Sewer No. 2e70. I'm alleys In blocks
bounded by alley east of Evans ave-
nue.. Central. Lane and Gartner ave
nues
nue.. Central, Lodge and Lane avenues.
Sewer Mo- 1871. In right-of-way In
Dwight boulevard and Jefferson
Sewer No. 26S0, In alley between Cad
lilac and Hurlbut, north and south OF
Moffat
sewer No 1894. I'm alleys in blocks
and East Grand boulevard.
Sewer No. 2se6, I'm alley in block
bounded by west OF Lovett, south OF
| Sewer No. 2sg7. in alley I'm block
bounded by Lovett scotten and south
Each bidder mus, deposit in q sep
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1914-12-17
NOTlCE---ALLEY PAYING
ASSESSMENT
BOARD OF ASSESSORS OFFICE
Detroit Dec. 10. 1914.
Paving Notice No. 1909.

To A. G. Wood Realty Co. Il. l. Polk.
Margaret Brennan. Walter Barlow
Bertha l. Hallam, Marion Blair. VII
liam Mcintosh, c. W. Stonghler and
TO all other persons owning. occupying
or otherwise interested In any OF the
lots and parcels OF real estate In the
local assessment district established by
the Common Council TO defray the ex-
penses OF grakn sIesnd paving the al
ley within the Boundaries herein set
The assessment roll has been com
pleted for defFaying the expense OF
paving the alley No. 39S, being the al
ley hrst east OF and parallel to Park
street from the north line OF Char
lotte avenue TO the south line OF Peter
boro street, and Is now open to In :
spection at this office and will remain
In this office for Ave days from the
first publication OF this notice for the
inspection OF all concerned All lots
or parcels OF land abutting on or ad :
Joining the alley so described have
been assessed for such Improvement.
The Board OF Assessors will meet on
Tuesday the 22nd day or December,
1914, at 3 o'clock a. IN, at their office
In the city Hall. and will remain in
session for period OF six hours to
hear any person or persons desiring
TO object 10 any assessment so made
BOARD OF ASSESSORS,
BY Daniel l. Dilworth.
A-llO2 President.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1914-12-17
N0TICE--STREET PAVING
ASSESSMENT
BOARD OF ASSESSORS OFFICE
Detroit. December IL. 1914.
Paving Notice No. 1915
W0ODMERE AVENUE

To f. NJ. stafford. L. Lamerond. ID. b.
stafford Woodmere Cemetery Associa-
ton, and to all other persons owning
occupying, or otherwise interested In
any OF the lots and premises fronting
on Woodmere avenue, in said City OF
Detroit within the limits hereinafter
mentioned.
The Common Council OF the City of
Detroit having ordered so much OF
Woodmere avenue, from the north line
OF Lafayette avenue TO the north line
OF Chamberlain avenue. to be graded
and paved notice Is hereby given that
an assessment has been made upon all
the lots and premises fronting on said
Woodmere avenue, and liable TO be
assessed for said Improvement under
the provisions OF the city Charter and
that roll OF said assessment liz now
completed. and will remain at the AS
SCISSORS Office, In the City OF Detroit
from the date hereof until December
29th, 1914 for the inspection OF all
persons concerned therein
BOARD OF ASSESSORS.
BY Daniel l.. Dilworth.
A-10a7 President.