Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1914-01-08
The DILEMMA
OF A SOLDIER
A Humorous Episode Of the
War OF the Sixties.

A Humorous Episode Of the !
War Of the Sixties.
When the civil war broke out Archie
van Nakenburgh, descendant from
old Garrct Van Valkenbnrgh, who
owned !, farm ut the time of the Rev
olution i'm what is now the middle OF
New York city. left his millions and
In the ranks went down into Virginia
to help preserve the Union.
Archie's regiment one afternoon
skirnlishing through little aristo
cratic Virginia town. encountered /,
brigade of Confederates, which gave
them fire that disabled most of them
The rest scattered and ran back as
fast MS their legs would carry them
Archie among the runners. Mounting
pretty white fence that inclosed Il
flower garden, he climbed into the
branches of a cherry tree. The leaveq
rs we'll as the cherries We're thick. and
he was we'll hidden. The Confederate
commander, fearing an ambush. order
ed a halt, leaving his pickets within
few hundred yards of the fence
Night came on and left the soldier uI
the tree.
Marches had been long and fighting
frequent Archie was tired, hungry
sleepy and ragged. In climbing the
tree Il sharp broken limb had removed
what remained of the seat of his trou.
sers. but he didn't mind that so long as
he was safe from capture. Finding
two parallel branches near together
he stretched himself between them
and went to sleep.
In the morning the bright sun awak
ened him. and he found that all APP
peuranre of war had vanished Direct
~ beneath him was n girl pllckine
roses. Unfortunately the girl looked
up and saw him.
She was about to Shrek wher
Archie dropped directly before her
.Dofling his hat and bowling very low
ms was the custom with swells in those
days. he said:
pardon me for coveting your cher
res. l was hungry"
care you one of ours?" was her first
question His uniform was so dlapi
dated that she cou 'dn't tell whether II
was Confederate or Federal
81 am not one of yours" he replied
Il wish We're"
"What do you mean?"
81 refer to the cherries and roses"
"Ohv
'If I were cherry you could e
me, if rose you could wear me
your hair"
Her fright vanished. What han
some. ragged, dirty mani
"You are my prisoner" she said
"Delighted to be made captive"
81 mean it. A single word from me
would call number of people"
"Please don't speak it"
81 order you to turn and walk hefor,
me to the house over there
Archie remembered the missing sea
of his trousers. He paled slightly.
would You mind my walking back
, ward?' he asked humbly.
"Rnck wnrd.'
"Yes; you look awfully fierce
, The girl smiled. She held her arm
toward him. a rose in the hand.
"You see" he said, taking the rose
"facing you | can disarm you"
"Its all the weapon have Yor
are in no danger. Now turn about and
move forward or I'll CALI
won't you please walk before meT
"Ccrtainly not. DO you suppose
: wish to be mnrdercd?'
"And | don't wish to be crucitied."
4 81 would advise you to do as | say
Really you are a very nice. ragged
dirty Yankee Ike you. and if yol
will do as ! say before any one comes
I'll take You home and hide you"
Here were two horns of q dilemma
, on the one hand. avoidance Of going tt
| Libby prison; on the other, walking he
fore a pretty girl with an exposed
shirt tail The blood of generations OF
svells rnvolted Mt such an ignominious
7 situation.
T ''Npver" he said at last.
'.You don't mean that you fear ar
unarined girl? How can you Yankees
expect to conquer our men il you arr
afraid of our girsY'
IF you We're a man you might
march me anywhere. I'm urar1ned !"
"About face-march!"
81 mutiny. Excuse me. must mn
tiny."
ooh. you do? Well. if you continu,
to- There your obstinacy has cost
/, you your liberty. That's my father
coming He'll call out sufficient meI
) to arrest you. and they'll send yon IL
Richmond can't protect YOU
A gentleman came up and, seeing his
daughter talking with disreputable
looking man. knitted his hrows.
"l'ather." said the girl. here's q
Yankee He hid in this tree when oul
boys drove his people off yesterday
evening. | ordered him to march be
fore me to the house, and he refuses
4 Take him in charge"
You march to that house mighty
: quick" said the man. ''or Fly
81 will if your da'wlter will go first
"Why SOP" asked rne man, surprised
Look
He turned his back to the gentleman
Carey" said the latter. Ego or
ahead
: The girl obeyed the order. When she
was out of hearing Archie said to his
I,o1y