South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-02-12
STATESMEN
REAL AND NEAR
BY FRED c. KELLY.

WASHINGTON. Feb. 12.-Sen.
OGorman has a nimble. almost auto
matte vi. that frequently comes in
handy 10 get him out of an embar-
RAISING situation. a while ago there
was a vacancy TO be filled in the New
York state supreme court and it was
believed that an Endorsement from
Sen. O'GoTman for any candidate
might carry a great deal of weight.
TIE name of a certain member of
congress had been put forward by the
members friends and one day a COM
mittee OF these tackled O'Gorman.
What would you think of Mr. So
and-So for the Judgeshipy" O'GOrman
was asked
Now O'Gorman did not wish TO in
dOrse that candidate; neither did ne
want to say word against him. So.
without moments hesitation. he
said this:
Il cannot think offhand of man
any better fitted for the place. but
the only question would be: Can
New York afford TO lose his services
/ in congress-"
/ Rep. Frank Clark of Florida has
habit OF remarking to other mem
I bers of the house:
BY the way l must send you a
case of Florida oranges. l am very
proud of the fruit from my section of
+ the state and ] want you to have a
+ sample
/ Where the average person would
/ merely talk about the weather. Clark
/ augments the conversation by his
4 casual offer to provide a case OF
/ oranges. 1t is simply a natural out
cropping of a magnanimous spirit on
4 the part of Clark The only flaw in
the arranmegents is that he always
forgets 10 send the actual oranges.
One OF those to whom Clark made
a kind offer of Florida fruit was Rep.
Austin of Tennessee. Austin conf
IDENTIFY expected to have enough
oranges not only for his family. but
TO supply several of his neishbOrs
/ throughout the winter. 1t was a sore
trial To Austin when the oranges fail
ed to arrive, but he said nothing,
awaiting a proper time and place TO
air his grievance.
A short time ago the house com
mitteC on buildings and grounds was
holding a meeting to adopt a plan for
/ pneumatic mail tubes in the capitol
and Office buildings. Austin is mem
Der of the committee and Clark is
. chairman.
There is just one objection to the
plan under consideration" declared
Austin. solemnly drawing himself to
his full height "and that is that the
tubes aren't large enough"
oh absurdity!" exclaimed Clark.
The tubes are as large as Is custom
arily used for mail.
Yes, amditted Austin. but | shall
insist on having these of a size that
will permit the delivery of Florida
oranges in case the promises of a GER
tain member whom ! could name
should ever be fulfilled
Rep. William \. Ashbrook of Ohio
sat one day bordering over post
Office appointment. There were three
applicants OF about equal ability ano
party zeal. and each was a good
friend of AshbrOok. Yet he felt sure
that the moment he appointed one
Of the trio. the other two would ap-
pear To the hammer born. and would
go about picking flaws in his clothes
his face or his character.
Now. AshbrOOk is the fOremOs
congres sional collector of rare coins
Even as he sat fretting himself abou
this pOstmastership. he sat Jinglint
two or three lf-dOllars of rare dati
that he had just bought The coins
gave him an idea. He dictated a let
ter TO the three men telling each e
! meet him in the lobby of a hote
back in Ashbrook's home city on ;
certain day.
; They showed up. each smiling an'
confident.
Ashbrook shook hands with tn
three. told them "A number of highL
= amusing stories and how much n
z thought OF them one and all.
But" said he. taking three half
dollars from his pocket you'll haN
To match coins for the job"
Two agreed that that was fair, ou
the third complained that he Ia
5 been the treasurer of his church 70
- 25 years. and simply could not De
! party to a game OF chance.
Ashbrook talked 10 him eloQuentl
{ and convinced him that IL would b
y perfectly moral and proper.
And. 10. the man who feared 'tWa
immoral won the postcffice.
/ IL your conscience hurts YOU.
suggested Ashbrook. you can sti
= withdraw"
d NO" said the man. solemnlS
: we've caused you enough bother al
o ready and I'm willing to abide by an
decision that will free you from fur
Their annoyance.
Copyright, 1914. by Fred C. KELLY
All rights reserved).