Daily Kennebec journal., 1914-01-14
Maine Gossip
A Pig.

A pigs not over-neat.
! And his foods not always sweet:
And his highest aspiration is to eat eat
eat.
He's the synonym for greed,
But, unlike the human breed, :,
He doesn't keep on pilins up lot he
doesn't need.
Now hen will scratch around
Over forty leagues of ground, =.
And boiler Come and look at what
I've found, found found
And man is much the same
With his thirst for empty fame,
But a pig Just filled his stomach, car
ing naught for praise or blame.
Making an imposing front
Is the humans favorite stunt, -,
While pig dismisses pretense with a
grunt, grunt, grunt.
No, his figure isn't trig;
His mentalitys not big; -
And he's apt to be untidy-still, 1 always
INV -Lippincott's.
r,ha lively Cambridge writer of per
sonals" and locals" for the Pittsheid
Advertiser thus facetiously describes
a case of mumps (And, in justice to
him. that's the only way to describe
the mumps0:
I'VE suppose cheek is a good thing
in some cases and we are sorry to say
it about a young man whom every one
calls A No. 1, but we think Glen Ring
has about as much cheek as anyone
we have seen for some time. This is
no laughing matter, it's the mumps'
tltGt's all.
Our dearest friend-Holding your
breath ?-That is important, isn't il?
He might split the buttons off his
vest. eh?-All right, we take it back.
Anyway, the Bi6deford Journal settles
the Hon. Joseph Chamberlain discus
sion with the following:
Hon. Joseph Chamberlains retire
ment from parliament will hardly
change the course of political events
in Great Britain. Since he was pow
er in the land a question has arisen
which knows not Joseph and he can
slip out without commotion"
Many Maine hired men" will SYM
pathize with Sam, who was employed
on an Auburn farm. He had been
there for nine years, faithfully rising
all the chores had been done. He was
quite satisfied until the proprietor add
ed poultry raising to his endeavors.
Sam had to take the eggs as they were
laid and write the date on them with
an in6elible pencil-also the breed oil
the hens A neighbor, jocularly dis
posed, was wont to kid Sam bit,
but one remark struck home. Sam
marched up to his employer. remark
ing, I'm goin' to leave!" The farmer
was very much astonished. Surely,
Sam he protested, you're not going
to leave me after all these years.
Sam braced himself and retorted, L
sure am. I've done every kind of a
rotten job on this yere place. but I'd
rather starve than go on being secre-
tary to your old hens."
1t vas only to be expected, We sup
pose, after recent accomplishments in
the sanctorinktum of the Lewiston
Journal, yet the discovery that the
editorial staff is translating dog talk
is somewhat startling on its first ad-
vcrtisement. Says the Journal of Lew
istor:
"Patrolman Nelligan of the Lewis
ton police department, who has been
the traffic officer at Lisbon and Main
streets the past summer, is on an en-
forced vacation as the result of the
misguided attentions of a dog. Said
dog was having a frolic Saturday with
a friend and acquaintance. An old
hat was the object of the frolic. 1t
was pulled away from the dog. The
ANNA, whirled and jumped for it. He
missed the hat, but his jaws closed,
firmly. upon the hand of Patrolman
Nelligan, who was merely an onlooker.
1t was a bad bite, but, as the officer
says, the dog didn't mean it. The
wound was dressed and the officer ex
poets TO be on duty in few days.
The dog says that in the future he will
be more careful"
The Portland Express of Friday eve
ming thus comments upon the admin
istration of Sheriff King F. Graham
of westbrook:
Under the strict enforcement of the
prohibitory liquor laws by.Sheriff King
F. Graham, Portland is establishing
an enviable reputation as a nearly
crimcless city At least for a day it
is entitled to be called 'Spotless Town,
for there was no session of the munich
pal court today because there was nc
prisoner to be arraigned for any GRIM
iral offence. There is no occupant OF
any cell at police headquarters and ur
to an early hour this afternoon the
police patrol auto had not made run
today. 1t may not be too much to say
that the memory of men now living
| runneth not back to time when Port
land was cleaner city. And what is
true % Portland may be presumed te
be true of the remainder of Cumber-
land county at this time. There have
been days, very few, however, wher
| there We're no prisoners sent over tC
be drraigned in court from the police
department, but except in only single
instance, so far as memory goes, has
there been day when there was nc
case of any kind, either a continued
case. or some complaint from the sher-
IFS department for hearing or othei
disposition in court"
Kittery Point correspondence of last