The Washington herald., 1914-06-08
QUERIES and
COMMENTS
TEMPER VS.. TEMPER.

homeWaru tndt night ne scoWieu opon
past of ienominy and life Of hen
peckery raised to the -th power. He
had been timid. shrinking. pusilani-
nous married man. the kind Of whom
mothers -in-law. plumbers and head wait
ers cordially approve. His wife had en-
croached upon his sacred rights TO life,
liberty. and the pursuit of happiness with
termagancy that would have blurred
the fame of Mrs. Demosthenes. His
mother-in-law had been the semaphore
and his wife the timetable that had reg
ulated his life.
But at last his days of degradation
were oyer. The thought gave him .
thrill as he entered his home, two hours
and forty-fve minutes behind schedule.
He had suddenly discovered he was no
longer afraid of wife and mother-in-law.
He squared his shoulders and walked
into the parlor where retribution awaited
him.
Mrs. Gray regarded him with the icy
sweetness of a woman rehearsirg a
raxor-edged TRADE. His mother-in-law
looked as IL she were amply prepared
to say anything her daughter might
leave unsaid. DR.. Gray stood in the
middle of the room. arms akimbo and
legs astraddle, and waited patiently.
Perhaps you care to explain where
you have been the last two hours and
forty-hve minutes" suggested Mrs. Gray.
The doctor lit a cigar. though the SEM
aphore had always pointed to his cubby-
hole Of a den for the indulgence of such
vices. He delayed the answer. though
the timetable had always demanded i'm
mediate response.
Explain! Do you know of any rea-
son why l should explain-to your" he
demanded.
Explain sneered the doctor. taking
step forward. Don't you think I
have been explaining long enough? Don't
you think l have tolerated your internal
nagging as long as l am going to? Let
me tell you something: This is my house
and from this day l am going to be
master here. Do you understand?
In an outburst of recurring manliness
the doctor snatched a picture from the
wall and stamped on II. Semaphore and
timetable sprang from their Chairs and
laid restraining arms on him.
THE brute,' cried Mrs. Gray. THE
=" But tears trickled down her throat
and choked back the denunciation.
He has lost his mind,'' walled the
mother-in-law. Hes a raving maniac. -
The doctor laughed hosrsely Il was
never saner in my life." he protested.
I've been a fool TO play second fiddle
in my own house. This thing Is going
to stop. What's this?" His glance
fell on a bulky parcel, and he turned
to his wife with blazing eyes. "a new
$40 hat. l suppose. Tomorrow you re-
turn II, my dear. And there will be no
more entertaining, and no more high
society tinks- I've had enough Of that,
too"
The wife sobbed Historically. The
mother-in-law wound her arm protect
ingly about her daughter. and both stared
at the doctor as II they could not be-
lieve their eyes and ears. His eyes
glinted murderously beneath the tousled
hair. and the two stepped back in fright
as he advanced.
You go to bed, Ethel" he command
ed. snatching his wife from the pro-
tecting arms.
Better CO. counseled the mother-in-
law. Cant you see-he's mad? / shall
call the police. He's apt to burn US
alive"
Ethel was Ioath to surrender, but a
glance at the man upon whom she had
practised all the finer arts OF henpecking
persuaded her to yield. She fed to her
room and sought solace in the compan-
ionship Of her maid. The doctor turned
to his mother-in-law. whose face sug-
gested the map OF Europe after Napol-
cons raid.
1T was your fault" he said sullenly,
but the wild light died in his eyes. You
spoiled your daughter. put silly ideas into
her head and made her a frivolous So
ciety doll. You encouraged her in all
her foolish whims and caprices, and II
had to pay the bills. You see what you
have done. / have been treated like
servant in my own house-but it's all
over now. Good night. It's time for
proper mothers-in-law to be in bed
rustling of crisp fabrics proclaimed
that the mother-in-law had walked away
in a high dudgeon. The doctor fiicked
the ashes from his cigar and smiled tri-
umphantly.
THE prescription worked like a charm"
he mumbfd. "A few more days OF this
and"
A few more days of it accomplished
revolution in the household of DR.. Gray
The mother-in-law abandoned the step
ladder of matrOnly dignity and for all
that Ethel's behavior indicated henpeck-
ing might have been as dead an art as
witchcraft. The doctor remained at his
club until hours that were scandalously
late, for there was neither semaphore nor
timetable to regulate his movements. He
wore contraband neckties and chose col
lars and socks without consulting wifely
preference. Forgetting the advice of his
iOtHci lOHstT sHuHneu
neurathen!c ladies in his practise, and his
stethoscope became popular among wom-
en- of whom Mrs. Gray, in bygone days.
would not have approved.
Mrs Gray's transition from a frivolous
society doll to a wife who cherished and
obeyed had been as rapid as her hus-
bands from a henpecked man to one who
had a mind of his own. She INDUCED all
his absurd fancies-even to the extent Of
serving him pie for breakfast She no
longer sneered at neurasthenic lady pa
tients nor frowned upon sack suits in lieu
OF full dress. The semaphore had become
afflicted with palsy and the timetable
had run out of print
''Well9'' asked DR.. Nerve. the famous
specialist, when he met DR.. Gray at the
club one evening. For fear of violating