Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1914-07-23
The Steamship
Widow
By NJ QUAD
Copyright. 1914 by Associated LIT
erary Preaa

when ! was talrly wei posted Oh the
passenger list There were twenty
ladies in the ca bin. and half the num-
were thirty-6ye men, and all but ten
were free OF bondage or the twenty
ladies' three or four were single. three
or four were widows and others mao
ing to Join husbands in Australia.
When this list had been boiled down
there was Just one to fall in love with.
who was down as Mrs. Ethel Warner
That means she was widow, twenty.
Eve years old, and rich and good look.
ing Before we we're OF soundings
had made up my mind to fall In love
with Mrs. Warner.
On the third day out, which IL the
proper time to begin a Irritation, pro-
vided the weather Is all right, found
that the other twenty-four men were
Of my way Of thinking.
1t is easy enough to bring about
an introduction on shipboard. II you
can't find a mutual acquaintance. then
introduce yourself. When got ready
to fall in love with Mrs Warner
walked up to her. handed her my card
and a few compliments. and the thing
was done. She was pleased to say
that she was glad to make my ac-
Quaintance. and an hour later was In
love.
Mrs. Warner was as well bred as she
was handsome. She asked no Ques-
tons about five or six children. She
didn't express surprise that had lived
to the age of forty without having
fallen in love before She might have
speech when l said that | was going
out to Australia to sell out my sheep
ranches and return to England with
100000 and marry and settle down.
but nothing occurred to alarm me. At
the end Of a couple Of hours l felt that
had won her. and there could be no
sort of doubt in her mind that she had
me hooked fast walked about know
ing that twenty-four men envied me
and hated me and called me names be-
hind my back, but not for long. That
same evening young doctor who was
going out to the colony got some one
to introduce him, and l saw Mrs. War
ner hanging to his arm as lovingly as
she had hung to mine. Later on l
found the doctor In his cabin. The i'm
pecunions shrimp had retired to grin
and chuckie and feel pulled up. am
an aggressive man l allow nobody to
interfere with my vested rights. de-
termined to squelch that doctor right
on the start, and when ! had been ad
mitted to his cabin didn't lose min
ute In saying:
"Sir. I desire you to understand right
here and now that am as good us
engaged to Mrs Warner. and want
no more Of this lollipop businessr'
"If you are engaged to her she does
not know It" he replied after recov-
ering from his surprise.
Then we had scrap. In which blood
was drawn and clothing torn. and II
was understood that as soon as we
landed In Australia there should be a
shooting match. On the next day the
widow was mine for a couple of hours.
While talked love more or less, l felt
It my duty to warn her against the
other twenty four men In the most SOL
emn manner. The lady thanked me
over and over again for my more than
brotherly interest. and when | at last
handed her to a seat and went or for
smoke l was ready to ask her to
name the day.
After tifiin that evening. when l had
gone to my cabin to change coats. the
door was suddenly banged open. and
fellow named Richards entered. had
learned that he was needy lawyer.
going out to the colony In hopes to
better his purse
"Sir, l want few plain words with
your began the miserable wretch as
confronted him. IL am us good as en-.
gagged to Mrs. Warner, and II you will
only bear that In mind hereafter It
may save you trouble"
We came together. We clawed. Kick
ed, bit and pulled hair. and we were
both badly damaged when we got
through
As soon rs | could properly appear
on deck decided to settle matters one
way or the other l was waiting for
the widow to appear when | was IN
vited to the smoking room to debate q
matter OF business. l found the other
twenty-four men there When the
meeting had been called to order a cal
low youth arose and inquired ii It was
understood that the whole twenty tive
OF us were in love with some woman.
1t was SO understood He then stated
that he felt himself engaged to that
woman and wanted to know II the rest
OF us did. We felt 50, Then the caI.
low youth asked II any one had n Sug
gestion to offer Twenty-tour sugges
tons were offered in chorus. but the
callow youth turned them all down
for one OF his own
Then every body drew In his breath
and turned ON his neighbor. but beror
4 II 4. a