The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1914-08-08
"a. TIT J
Experiment
BY DONALD CHAMBERLIN

must be mighty pleasant to have such
nice home as yours TO go to after
IA hard days work"
ut used to be 'slong as mother and
| Anna lived, but now it's kind a lone
some. Besides. when a feller's tired
out he don't want to cook his supper
and wash Dishes"
why don't you git married? Then
| you'd have some one TO do your cook
In for you and wash the dishes and
take keer o. the house."
WAL" said. kind o. thinkln' out
loud. IL don't know but that's good
idee. But II amt SO simple as would
appear. Furst off. feler's got TO
find the gal he wants. and to make It
go she's got to want him Then.
s'posin' IL Is so. it's easy and cheap
enough to git married: you kin git n
parsOn to do the job for whatever you
like to pay. Now. ! can't hitch two
critters together and expect 'em to
travel easy. Furst off. one on 'em II
plunge for'ard. and t'other II hang
back. Then one on 'em ~ balk when
the other Is sot down to q Study gait,
That's the way IL is when two pns-
sons begin to travel the matrimonial
road together And. s'posin' that In
stead of gettin' used TO the same kind
o. goin' they git wuss and wuss, what
you goin' to do them"
"Oh, Mr. Rogers" says Martha.
you're pessimist. and the wust kind
Of a one"
II don't know what that is, but
do know that gittin' married is like
buyin n pig in poke. You kin see
the gal plain enough on the outside.
but you don't know what she IL on
the inside. She may be white as
snow on the surface. and not two
inches down she may be smoIderin'
fire. ready to burst out at any mo-
ment"
an tell you what I'll do with yon.
Reckon you don't want me- and I'm
not hankerin' to git married. You kin
experiment on me IL you like. and if
you don't find out at the end o six
months that I'm what you took me
for In the beginnin' III agree with you
that wimmen is mighty deceptive"
We'll, now, that's accommodatin',
declare" | says to her. when shall
begln?"
whenever you like"
"Tll commence tonight. when I've
had supper and got the dishes washed"
You needn't mind about the dishes.
Jest you let 'em alone tonight To-
morrer when you're out to work I'll 20
in and tidy up for you and do your
dishes. Where'il l find the door key?"
"Hangin' under the porch left side
near the front"
She'd started on. and didn't say no
more. went on hum. got my sup
per and tuk Martha Mt her word. leav-
In the dishes I'm the pan. About 8
o'clock went over TO her house and
found that she'd done her evenin'
chores and was a-sittin' before a blaz-
In fire. darnin' stockin's. thanked
her for the offer she'd made me and
told her when she'd convinced me
that wimmen was jest ms amiable rs
they looked I'd like for her to put
me onter a nice gal that could ex-
She said she would If she could hit on
the right gal.
spent couple of hours with Mar
tina. toppn' off with some cakes and
cider she brought out. The next day.
when ! went home at noon. ] found
the dishes washed. the pots and ket-
ties shinin' like lookin' glasses and
ryfhf foI-
crackey. ] hardly knowed the place
That was Saturday. and I thOrt
oughter go over the same evenin' and
thank Martha. did so. and she
said that for a few weeks she'd clean
up for me every Saturday.
After that every Saturday mornin'
Martha put everything to rights. and
| dropped In to thank her Saturday
cvenin'. She said she'd do 1t for
few weeks. but the few weeks growed
into a few months.
Meanwhile ! was a.watchn' her to
see II she was good all the way
through or only vanished. At last l
told her that was well satisfied with
the experiment and didn't think
was so onsartin' after all. I'd
been so encouraged by her goodness
that l concluded to git married She
looked very much pleased after this
and asked me who ! was gOin' to
marry. hadn't any one in view; but.
thinkln' oughter name somebody. in
lsmuch as ! said ! was goip' to git
] said the gal was Matilda
Blake.
you list oughter seen the change in
Martha. Her face got red. and her
Eyes fairly spit fire.
Matilda Baker she said, mighty
'cornful. "She doesn't know how to
'ry bncon. She couldn't sew a button
m your cont She couldn't even darn
tockin's"
! said somefn in defense OF Matilda.
mt 1t only mnde Martha madden than
,efore She began to abuse me more'n
Matilda. and when got a trihe huffy
he up and throwed book at my
lead. ] got out as quick as ! could.
'ut not before an inlstand struck me
N the shoulder. IL didn't hurt me.
ut spoiled suit of store clothes.
The experiment was failure. I've