Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-07-21

one. depending upon the way you look
at It. 1t was hot and Hammond had
his coat of and his suspenders on. The
suspendsrs were the reason or reasons
Are suspenders two or only onei Arc
pair Of suspenders plural or 10 sus-
penaers singular? The inference Is
that suspenders In dining car Is SIN
gular. 80 singular that this hungry
gentleman was denied food because OF
their singularity. 1t Is said that ne
may bring suit on account OF the IN
cident Coatless men with belts SAT-
and gorged themselves at the dainty
tables while swift-footed and immacu-
late coons lowered near. Ice tinkled in
the water glasses. The steam or ten
derloin la bordelaise, plankeu
whitefish and chicken la Maryland
and mayhap the odor Of Wurtzburger
filed the air And from this gastrono-
mic Eden where belted bay windows
strained against the leather all VINO
use galluses as an anchor against sar-
torial disaster We're banished. MI h.
can not understand the classification.
He is plain blunt man whose only
effort was to keep his pants properly
in place with the safe and sanitary
suspender and who. seeking susten-
ance with his money in his hand and
his trousers within the legal require
ments, was refused food by the auto
crat of dining car. Naturally he
wants to know about it.
The incident is illupinating In the
hurry Of business. the hustle of COM
petition and the struggle over saloon
petitions and the like we, IN Iowa. fan
in culture. 1t is the little things that
arbiter elegantarium, Nash or a
Brummel or a Ward McAllister to
teach us the difference between belts
and braces We hasten here and there
grabbing food as we run, needless OF
aught except that our pants, ike the
Star Spangled on historic occasion
ishness we wear in the morning the
same pair of trousers we wore the
night before. Sometimes we forget our
morning tub, don't v know, dear chap
pie, and many fail to have their
britches pressed over night. Lots of us
don't keep "a man" Instances are
In some of the renoter parts the prac-
tice of our fathers still obtains which
was to have the wife cut the husband s
hair under a milk crock placed on has
head as a guide to the family shears
Still none of these bars us from the
dining car and the privilege of giving
the saddle colored person % cents for
bringing US stuff for which the com
pany gets two prices. But suspenders.
O. hush!
Perhaps Mr.. Hammond does not
know that there is system and sus-
pender whereby concealment is made
possible and men OF narrow hips and
proturberant paunch may deceive even
the unerring eye of the vice regent CT
the George NJ. Pullman estate. You put
them on your b. V. DIS taking on your
shirt If you have forgotten them the
first crack out of the box Then YOU
hold up your pants with one hand
while you search around under the
outer shirt TO the right and left Of the
,nedian line until you find a metal but
ton hole similar TO those in use on
that article of feminine convenience
which a king OF England made the in
sigma OF a knightly order Proceeding
as before YOU gather up some of the
slack of the shirt and finger around
for a pants button. over the button you
hook the metal contraption. draw it
tight, finish the act of looming
trousers in the ordinary fashion, put
on a belt and go forth fit TO be seen
by youth and beauty and tender WON
anhood at the table of a Milwaukee
dining car, cultured. care free, en- reggie
and debonair Any clothing store. ASK
the clerk
Get right. What difference does it
make to you that the coon who serves
the ice cream may in the security Of
his cubby hole lick off the spoon with
large red tongue? That isn't your
business That's his. Your affair is
to have your pelt on and your suspen-
ders off or under Get that?