davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11

He didn't mean to do it, when he burned
the barn that day;
He was innocently playing with some
matches In the hay;
II was very wrong TO blame him for the
loss which was sustained
When he didn't mean TO do It. as he aft
erward explained.
He didn't mean to do 1t when he made his
sister blind,
He was merely getting practice with a
dart he had designed:
II was very wrong TO blame him for her
loss and for her woe
When he didn't mean TO do H. and II
merely happened 50.
He didn't mean to do it when he forged
another's name;
He was muddled from much drinking.
and was innocent of blame:
II was wrong Of them to rob him of his
freedom or to think
That he ever would have done II II II
had not been for drink.
He didn't mean to do It when he broke
his mothers heart.
He supposed that as a ''rounder' he
would be considered smart:
II was very wrong to blame him for the
suffering he brought
When II all resulted simply through q
little lack OF thought.
He didn't mean TO do it, And you new
err mean. my boy
To be called upon to answer for the glad
ness you destroy;
You are merely seeking pleasure in g
reckless, thoughtiess way.
Putting on until tomorrow truths that
you should learn today.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
The Kaiser and the sIsmsrek.

II must have given the kaiser :
sort 81 shiver along his spine when
he pontihcated 81 the christening Of >
big ship in honor Of the great chan
ceIIor whom be 10 uneeremOnlously
brushed out Of The teid Of human ac-
tiYities = generation ago. II the Cheat
OF Bismarck watched the ceremony
the occasion must have aroused ths
old synieal contempt for the motives
Of men and the conventions Of life
Not merely the emptiness Of posthu.
nous honora would b. apt 20 stimn.
late his Hardonie humor. but even
more. the lnexDTable course Of his
tory. which proves that not the great.
eat spirit Il Indispensable and that
lack OF genius or Of the opportunity
for displaying u may not impair or
diminish q fortunate mans happiness
il bis own august estimation 81 Bis
ego.--NsW YORK sun
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
perIIrIo pIas,a Peetle PrenheeY.

President PoFfirio Dlaz, Who ruled
over Mexico for more than quarter
of century as an absolute dictator,
believed that only such Iron rule could
bring peace and progress 70 the half
civilized millions Of that country.
Several years ago, when hla power
was atiii unbroken, Ha American. vino
Nas on intimate terms with him, van.
tured TO suggest thnt tho Mexicuns
we're nov prepared for y more liberal
form Of government, and limited that
hiH rule Was too severe.
The stern Old man aliYened hin
gaunt hgure, and ran his fingers
through his locks. nov white with
years
When these SHOWS melt he said
nrophetically. the mud viii BE- dsBp
In Mexico Youths Companion.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
The New Fable Of the Juvenile Who
Studied Mankind and Laid AiS
Plans Aecordlnoly.

The New Fable Of the Juvenile Who
Studied Mankind and laid HlS
Plans Accordingly,
Once there was a Kid who wore a
Uniform that nc him too Soon and a
Cap ON one Ear. His Job was TO an.
swer the Buxxer and take Orders
from any one who could show 20
Cents.
In the Morning he might be acting
Is Pack. Pony for some Old Lady on a
Shopping Spree and In the Afternoon
he would be delivering q Ton or
COAL
He had been waved aside by Buffers
and ordered about by Blonde Stenog-
raphers and joshed by Travelling Sales
men until his Chlld-Nature was as
hard and tiinty az that OF the She.
Purser In q swell Tavern who lately
has cashed one that proved TO be
Phoney.
In answering the Call of Duty he
had gone TO the Dressing Room and
taken a private Fash at the Maya.
zine Beauty before she began to at
tach the Hair or spread the Enamel
He had stood In the private Lair Of
the Sure-Thingers when they were
cooking up some new Method OF col
lecting much income without moving
out OF their, Chairs.
He had stood by while Husbands
with the Scotch standing high In this
Gague, elaborated on the Lie which
was TO pacify little Katisha. waiting II
| he Flat.
Before delivering this Masterpiece
OF Fiction he would have to do a lit
tie Sherlocklng and finally locat'
Katisha In one Of those places wher'
they serve 1t In Tea-Cups.
In the Homes OF the Rich and Grea
where he delivered Orchids and lnvi
tations and perfumed Regrets h
would overhear Candid Expression
which indicated that every Socla
Leader was trying to slip Knock-ou
Drops into somebody else's Glare
Cup.
Around the Haunts OF Business h,
would stand on one Foot while III,
Boss Carefully worded the Message
which was to read like Contrac
while leaving a Loop-Hole about Thu
size of the Hudson Tunnel
One night the Kid Was returning
homewaFd with a Comrade in Misery
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
MoRAI.No Chance.
The New Fable Of the Two Brothers
The Even start and the Con.
trasalna TeFminl.

The New Fable Of the Two Brothers,
The Even start and the Con.
trastlns TerminL
In Flag Station the Job Of Tale.
graph Operator 10 about the Limit
Of Earthly Ambition.
Therefore two Hoys living IN a
weedy Hamlet began TO hang around
the Depot and learn the Morse Alpha.
bet.
In due time each became a regular
Railroad Man with Calico Sleeves and
Tooth. Brush in his upper Vest
Pocket.
They we're transferred 70 this juno
tlon aud began 10 have dealings With
the Old Man himself and euHa when
No. balled up the Schedule.
Being quick on the Trigger ana
good at sizing up Men, they got into
the Operating Department and each
had q CRrd.caAe full of Annuals.
One accepted an 0fief 20 80 up into
Canada and crack the Whip over s
Line being projected by British Capt..
talIsta who were too well.bred 20 get
out In their old Clothes and prod the
Help.
The other remained In the Land Of
his Birth 70 push en- Extension into
the Northwest.
Each delivered the Goods in hia
own nailiwick spanning the turbu'
lent Streams. filling the deep HolloMa.
boring through the HlIlb and bring
Ing q new Empire out Of the lone.
some Wilderness.
when the 0ank who had been trans
formed into q canuck cleaned up on
the big Assignment, the Directors
gave him = Dinner and the King sent
for him TO come up to this HOUSE
ana kneei on one Knee and be dubbed
the Earl Of Saskatchewan.
The Brother wanted 10 attend tbs
ceremony. but be had 20 send hIa Re
grets AZ he was IN Jail st the time
Moral; Only few receive Titles
but many are Indicted.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
DISAPPEARED
Coffee Ais Vanish Before Postum.

Il seems almost too good 10 be
true, the way headache, nervousness.
insomnia, and many other obscure
troubles vanish when coffee IL dis
missed and Postum used as the regu-
lar table beverage.
The reason ID clear Coffee con.
tains a poisonous drug-caneine-
which causes the trouble. but Postum
contains only the food elements In
choice hard wheat with 3 little mo-
lasses.
a Phila. man grew enthusiastic and
wrote as follows:
Until IS months ago I used coffee
regularly every day and suffered from
headache, bitter taste IN my mouth,
and indigestion; was gloomy and irri-
table. had variable or absent appetite,
loss OF flesh. depressed in spirits. etc.
Il attribute these things TO coffee,
because since / quit Il and have drank
Postum | feel better than I had for
20 years. am less susceptible 10 cold,
have gained 20 Iba. and the symptoms
have disappeared--vanIshed before
Postum"
Name given By Postum Co. Battle
Creek, Mich. Read The Road 70
WeIlFIile." p pkgs.
Postum comes IN two forms:
Regular Postnm-mus4 be well
boiled. 15e and 25c packages.
instant Postum-Is 3 soluble pow
der A teaapOonfuI dlssolyes quickly
In cup OF hot water and. with cream
and sugar. makes = delicious beveT-
age instantly. 50c and see tins.
The cost per cup q both kinds d
about tbs same.
There's q Reason for Postum.
-aolA hw aroeara
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
Kind Editors.

Needless to say. the night was cold.
Brrri
We have used up the last stick of
wood in the house." said the young
artist to the brooding poet as they sat
beside the embers of a fire. What
shall we do? Must sacrifice my lat.
est canvas7"
Hold" said the poet. II shall
bring my rejection slips"
And they kept the FIRE going all
night
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
The prisoners one Wish.

A Reno man tells Of a murder trial
In Nevada wherein the defendant,
formerly a barber. had been con-
demned to death. Just before the
announcement of sentence the judge
said to him:
You have the legal right to express
a last Wish. and If it is possible II
will be gratifed."
Il should like" said the prisoner,
"once more to be allowed to shave the
district attorney -Harper.s Maya,
zine.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
ner Mlna RelIaueh

DO you think" asked the sweet
June bride. you viii ever grow weary
Of me?"
"Of course. never SHALL the bride.
groom eagerly replied.
But shall not always be as young
and beautiful as am now"
you will always look young and
beautiful to me. darling"
Pm SO glad to hear you say that. II
you hadn't | should have worried
awfully. All my married friends have
told me that their husbands said It to
them"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
DOES YOUR SKIN
ITCH AND BURN7

II you are suffering with eczema,
ringworm, heat-rash or other torment
ing skin eruption, try resinol ointment
and resinol soap. You will be eur.
prised how quickly the itching stops
and the skin becomes clear and
healthy again. Prescribed by doctors
for 10 years. All druggists sell resi-
mol ointment (50c and $1,000. and resi-
mol soap (25cl ADV.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
Properly Resented InsInuatlon.


II was his first pair Of long trousers.
and he felt very pleased with himself
as he staggered boldly into the local
shoe emporium.
81 want brand.new pair of shoes.
he announced. as smart young man
came to attend to him.
"A pair of kids, supDose?" asked
the ever-obliging salesman. referring
to the quality OF the leather
The youngster turned his nose up
coldly, swelled his chest to its full pro
portions. and. fixing stony stare on
the young shopman. replied indig
nantly:-
"A pair of kids, indeed A pair Of
small mems, thank you!"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
A stubborn Brute.

my husband is one of the most
stubborn men In the world"
He can't be more stubborn than
mine"
oh. yes, I'm sure he must be. Yes
terday / had an engagement to meet
him at three o'clock"
.'Yes?"
We'll. 1t was nearly 4.30 when
got there. and he won't admit yet
that the rest he got while he was wait
Ing did him good"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11

What makae yen keep aayiBs fvw
wiHh congress w0Hld #dtomrmF' aaha@
The statesman. > little Feasaksnlag
Well. Fe.s'ied the bic business maan.
my reasons ara aatifHlg Helnahs Zen
gentlemen make Hath interesting
speeches that eaat hTlp stappaaE Co
read them and il takea my MAD 81 mF
work
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
Answered.

my good friends" began the tenn.
perance orator. drink Is the curse OF
the wocld. All the crime. all the wars,
all the heartaches of this universe can
be laid at the door of intoxication Oh.
my friends. what causes more misery
than liquor? Can anyone answer me
that?''
yThur.r-r-st!" yelled = little man
At khe rear of the hall.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
The New Fable Of the Cousin Who Do
came coOnizsnt Of Our Short
con1tnaa


On the deck Of a Transatlantic
SklR a certain Old Traveller. who
owed allegiance to George and Mary
reclined ON his Cervical Vertebrae
with a Plaid Shawl around him and
roasted Our Native Land
He told the American In the next
steamer Chair that be had been IN
able to get his Tea ~ the usual Hour
and out Ia that place called Minnie
Apples the stupid Waiter never had
heard OF Bloaters for Breakfast.
Furthermore. he had not seen his
Boots again after placing them out.
side the Door in Chicago.
The Houses were oyerheated and
the Railway Carriages we're not like
those al Home and the Reporters were
Forward Chaps and ice should not be
added With the Soda. because II saa
not being Done.
He vas glad 20 escape from the
Wretched Hole and get back 10 his
own Lodgings. where he could 20 into
Cold Storage and have 3 Joint Of Nut
ton and Brussels sprouts an often AZ
desired.
The YANKEES crtnged under the At
tack and then fully agreed with the
Son OF ambitious Albion. lie said We
we're q new and crude People Who did
not know hos te wear Evening Clothes
or eat stIlton Cheese and our Politt
clans we're corrupt and Murderer
/ - ..~v.ssrfmknN sahfEa fha AWaFaN a.
| Citizen was ; dyspeptie Skate afiiet
ed with Moral strAbismug
Thea be retired 10 his State Room e
weep over the Situation and the Brit
ism Subject said. The American ~ !
Polsroon. for he will not defend hi.
own Hearth and Ftreside.@
A Cooks Tourist from EmpoFia
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11

A. the Trolley carried them toward
that portion Of the City where Chill.
dren are still In Vogue, they fell TO
talking Of the Future and what Il
might have in Store for q Bright boy
who could keep on the Trot all day
and sustain himself by eating Cocoa,
Nut Pie.
The Comrade hoped 70 be n Vaude
Vile Actor. but the Kid said, after
some Meditation: During the past
Two Years ] have mingled in all
Grades Of Society, aud have decided
to round out my Career By being q
Deep-Sea Diver"
MORAL-A little learning Is {
dangerous thing and d good deal of Il
is Snffocating.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
Tough Luck.

-Ya-as / twied to play gaSf larst
summah. don't yer know. but gave
il up when was hit on the head By
a beastly BAH and knocked perfectly
silly. don't yer know"
Tough luck. old chap. and can't
the doctors do NJ hing for you?a
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
others Barred out.

she is his second wife. isn't she?''
mo, | think she is his NTH. Why
did you think she was the second? ?"
For no particular reason, except
that he has q picture Of another won.
an over hts desk in his dem"
That is a picture Of his third wife.
she happened TO die"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
Peace al AnY prlee.

MY husband hasn't any spunk at
ALL" said the complaining woman.
Maybe he's trying for the peace
prize" replied the comforting neigh
bor.
Well. supposing ne won 1t. Some
body would give him whipping and
take It away from him. Washing
ton Star.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11

Doris-Hs groysied In ths dust a
my feet
DoTith- HOw exeitingl
Doris-For se weEs sOins % IN
noviss and be had dropped NE dfms
Stamford chaparral
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
USELESS.

why don't ycu
make vnur
mind to ceaae per-
hitting your wife
to 3henpeck you 90
81 have made IL
up half a dozen
tim e IS. but II
doaantf aaarn IN IN
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
skeptIeIsm.

The man who thinks he can b.
knocking on wood keep on trouble
would probably scoff II he were told
that be could by -shoo.ng" IL cause
water 70 run up hill.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
Driven to Il.

t.gAn you make me bureau with a
secret drawer?"
yep. Place to hide a will. chr"
No; / Just want to have place
where | can keep a few clothes. Ny
wife.s things occupy all the visible
snace'
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
Ais COLLEGE education.

-How's your boy getting on in col
lege?"
Not well. They batted him out OF
the box in the third inning the other
day"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
oueer

yes. she's queer in one way"
-How?"s
-she doesn't boast thai her husband
fell in love with her at first sight"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11

Bacon ae@ Q reasonably active
man walks about 2s1.z0o miles 10 81
years. just walking about hln house
and place OF business
Eeber4-Of course. that doeaat 10.
cfude men who have had 10 care f0r
restless children a night
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
Eaotlam ID ID Apex.

she-"Your friend is 8 bit OF Al
egotist, isn't he?"
He-"A bits Why. Il he hadn't been
born, be would have expected PEG
DIe 70 ask why not."-LOndon Mail
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11

The man who sits around waiting
for somebody else TO discover and de
yelop his ability Is sure sooner or late
to become = wearisome grumbIer.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
Aprl.nta Rahf.

Old Lady-iley. yoa naughty bog
Don't throw that brick ai that poot
DOG.
small Boy why. he's my deg
Judge.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11

Mother tshovlng the mes baby
liant that ; nice little brother 10 come
by parcel post. Eddle3
Beven.Year.Oid Oh. moinmy. dia
you save the stamps p Puck.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
Als oppor,unlty.

IL n said that the old .fanhloned
hustle IN again coming back
Then the man who used 10 hide
behind his wlfe'a skirts viii have an.
other inning"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11

AN empty purse mRketh full
heart" according TO the proverh but
how about the stomach
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11

vOun own DRUGGIST WILL TKz.1 EnG
~ M@Haa 80 Meai#&g - Nsal, @e4ss aazNsB
See ans 9H4naA#AH8 MFsfifsi Ne 4aaaAelsaFs
zaat Ays fnazHafs write SO a1-lz ~ So ara
~ anAsi kssms @aFtee Ase hsasasaF aass Esiaaaa.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
Teo Much Of : Good Thing.

VS. surgeons, sir, have decided
that we will graft bone in your sons
head"
Don't do that. He's too much Of .
bonehead already
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11

Was that goar Intended shAt 90
wsra walking wtthT
Yes. but Ne hasn.t caught IN -
tAfs
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11

Genius TO b. appreciated should 81
KEPT e. distance IA most ezsss.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11
Sure ThIno.

When lovely woman stoops to folly
And gets the man she tries to xiii,
The jury soothes her melancholy
And sends her into vaudeville
Cincinnati Enquirer.
And then as one we flock 20 see her,
Who cannot sing or dance a bit.
But. cause the jury wished TO free her.
Upon the stage has made a hit
Birmingham Age-HeraId.
But this will an be changed. my brothers
When women get to trying cases:
Our wives. our sisters and our mothers
VIII sock II TO the angel faees.s
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11

These Nho Bay 80 thsy So sS@
travel On rubber tires most - ah@
llIae
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11

Almost every man haa 30 prisgs
bit fhs denominations Of lhs easfsneg
differ.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11

any good at all She refuses to con,
cede that / have mind
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-09-11

Happiness and suspicion eannna
dwell under the sans Eoc&
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1914-03-18
MOTHER LOOK AT
 CHILD'S TONGUE
If cross, Feverisl, constipated give California Syrup
 of Figs


 A laxative today saves a sick child tomorrow. Children simply will not take the time from play to empty their bowels, which become cIogged up with waste liver gets sluggish; 1; stomach sour-
 Look at the tongues mother. If coated, or your child is list1ess, cross, fevsrish, breath bad, restless, doesn't eat heartily, full Of cold or has sore throat or any other chiIdrenss ailment, give teaspoonfuI of Caifornia Syrup of Figs, then don't worry be- cause 1t Is perfectly harmless, and in few hours all this constfpated poison, sour bile and fermenting waste will gently move out of the bowels and you have g well, playful child again A thorough inside cleansing is oftimes all that is necessary, Ii should be the first treatment given in any, sickness.
 Beware Of counterfeit fig syrups Ask your druggist for 50 cent bot tie of sCa1ifornfa Syrup Of Figs which has full directions for babies children of all ages and for grown ups plainly printed on the bottle Look carefully and see that Is made by the s.California Fig Syrup Co., Don't be fooIedt--Adv. '
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1914-03-18
A CAUSE MUST WIN WHEN ITS FRIENDS ARE WILLING TO SUF-
 FER ARD EVEN TO DIE FOR II
GLASGOW prlson. physician knocked

GLASGOW-p prison physician Knocked "A down the suffragist who lashed him with horsewhip because he had expressed strong views in favor Of forcible feeding for women arrested for political offenses Comes now a flock of American editorials dealing with predictions of Q short shrift for the militant movement in England, if every man should se- lect suffragist and knock her down. All of which shows an entire lack of understanding of the nature of the human spirit in rebellion.
 The militant suffragists of England who re- sort to violence expect violence in return. They are glad when they find it, and sorry when they do not The more they are knocked down the more they will resort to the .horsewhip. The more they suffer, the harder they will fight.
 It is 6 very pretty theory, resting entirely upon a violet scented ignorance of history and of the martyrdoms of the past, that if the Eng fish government were more violent. 1t would soon squelch the militants
 The English government has had many les sons in the futility of violence attempted against social reforms. It has learned by ex- perience, and has become wise old govern ment, which knows that an Emmet hanged is a thousand times more threatening than an Elm met living and which knows that if Mrs. Plank hurst should die in prison her soul would go marching Up and down England like flame of fire.
 It is remarkable how many editors there are who, making an indifferent success of run ming one newspaper, yet believe they can teach the women of England how to run their own af- fairs, and the government of Great Britain that the more martyrs it makes the better it will get lalong.
 The cause of suffrage in England has de- ve1oped numerous persons who are willing to Idle for it. Such cause is stronger than ar mics. It marches to predestined victory.
 It is great thing that time comes when men and women are willing to suffer and to die flor what they believe in. There lies the great guarantee Of human liberty and social progress.
 
 neither prison nor the scaffold have deterred the march of the seul it is not likely that the fists of prison doctors, the pains of forced feeding will be more successful now