The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-08-29

Animal experts claim that the ele-
plant sleeps but five hours per day.
The fact that the political elephant
now touring with the national circus
is cross-bred with the donkey, moose
and monkey may account for the fact
that it sleeps most Of the time and
but occasionally walks in its sleep.
1t is a blamed good thing one-half
of the world doesn't know how the
other half lives. It would leave no
pleasure for either half.
Because: the neither half couldn't
get SO much pleasure from cursing
would not enjoy the idea that they
were THE people.
"Dim the auto headlights" say the
city commissioners. Others say it
without the brogue.
The other day Phil Eastman went
to show. After it was all over he
couldn't tell what it was about. Then
he looked at his watch and discovered
minutes.
One advantage, at this time, to be-
longing to the Prohibition party is
that the Prohibitionists do not lose
any sleep or suffer cold chills wonder
is coming from.
A gray haired man with a pro-
nounced hump in his shoulders. pass
ed down the street. There" observed
Filling Fuller. who claims to be an
expert observer, "goes poor guy who
has been married a long time"
Political Notes.
The Progressives take unto them
selves great credit for the fact that
their party council was harmonious.
Lack of harmony is the result Of sew
eral sounds in different keys. A Bull
fiddle solo is naturally harmonious,
whether the instrument Is In tune or
not. 1t may be noted that the poll
ticians and the little green bugs ar
rived the same day. BIZ! White says
the Prohibitionists should be fully
satisfied, as their platform was adopt
ed by three other parties. "A socal1ed
manager has been named to manage
Mr.. BILLIARDS. campaign. He may man.
age the campaign all right, so long as
he doesn't try to manage Mr.. Billiard.
Local managers who tried 1t during
his term as mayor will agree that 1t
cant be did"
The bloody line, 500 miles long and
extending southwark from Namur. is
the dividing line between the places
where they say ''Hoch der Kaiser" and
"HOOk the Kaiser.
The hardest thing to do is to SO live
that when we croak and pass hence,
no one will feel that the sympathy
extended the widow is misplaced.
| The German emblem has been de-
scribed as the "double-necked chick
en-" Mayhap the description Is good,
but it occurs to q nOnpartisan by
stander that both halves of said fowl
are of the game variety, and that two
necks are harder to wiring than one.
! Every funny picture man in the
| United States has now contributed his
orders German fried potatoes OF a
French waiter. Outside of that, 1t has
i been difficult to CLEAN anything hu-
morous from a little disturbance that
threatens to depopulate Europe.
| The average woman asks Friend
Husband some leading questions in the
same tone Of voice that she asks the
grocer il he can guarantee the hen
fruit.
Marriage is risky. but every normal
man dotes ON adventure.
| Az q rule, the man whose hair is
| turning gray, would rather shed the
middle breadths and keep the youth
full color. A bald gent with natural
colored fringe does not look old to the
ladies, if he has learned the art OF tip
ping his hat without pulling an ex-
posture
| A bright doctor doesn't prescribe
simple, old fashioned remedies for