davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-02-24

in q Boston bank they traced him az
TAR as Borneo. hut he got away"
1t was morning In Grassville. An
Old citizen and a young m met and
this conversation took place:
opera. house"
We turned 'cn, away last night"
"G'wan.''
Fact. Sixteen Of 'em. Manaxer
said it was no use burnin' gas for a
50 house. =.
Girl friends do love one another.
The other day two Of them met.
Fred didn't blow his brains out
because you Tilted him the other
night" said friend No. 1. HE came
over and proposed to me-"
did he?" replied friend No. 2.
Then he must have got rid Of then,
in some other way"
A young lady took down the receiv-
or of the telephone one day and dis
covered that the line was in use.
Il Just put on a pan OF beans for
dinner" she heard one woman com-
placently informing another.
She hung UP the receiver and wait
ed for the conversation to end. Upon
returning TO the telephone she found
the women still talkin9. Thrss-ttmae
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-02-24
JBE:NTON'S DEATH.


Commenting nn til" death of Een-
ton i'll Mexico. and the computations
wbirl, may result, the New York
Times Sans:
"11e acted incauticaslN in going
alone 10 the rebel rhieftsin's head
0uarters. but i, is not believed that no
Was armed. and what he Thought nr
Villa. az said about him or to him.
has very little To do with the case.
His execution. Sn-called. wa entirely
without justification in law. There
arc some Thousands Of Americans in
Mexico who regard Villa as an outlaw.
but We cannot permit him to kill them
for that reason. and when he Kills
rcacc1blc citizen Of another corn-
try. which has formally recognized
o'lr RICH, tn T,ilrsI1e our own policy
il McNir". without the ~interfcrcnce
of other nations, q serious situation
IS created which cannot he iSrorch.
RI Villa may with %imruuitv put to
''"sth one foreisn nrncr of Mexican
property who has complained because
his property had been destroyed, he
may kill off all the foreign residents
as I've pleases.
"Rsspousibility for the murder of
Benton rests noninally with vennsti-
ano Carranza whose lieutenant Villa
IS supposed to Inc, and Carranza may
properly take measures to clear the
constituencies cause OF rerroach for
this 'loodthirsty proceeding by retuk-
Ing Villa, by mail or messenger and
! dencNnctns his act. But the constitu-
tionalist cause. apart from Villa, doe.
not count for much. and though Car
ranza. MAY nXonerate himself le call
not do much tn mend the situation.
.As the first notable incident OF inter
national importance in Mexico follow
ing President Wilson's proclamation
permitting the export Of arms, the
killing OF this Scotch resident Of Chi
i1liahua, who has dwelt there peace
ably for q quarter Of a century, is
certainly discouraging. 1T will
strengthen the often expressed idea
that the policy of diplomatic delay
is playing with fire"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-02-24

low the head Of the department to
absolutely control his department
without the vote and consent of the
other commissioners"
The point with reference 10 tho re-
call is we'll taken. Under certain
conditions the recall III he a very
useful thing. But when it is possible
to use IL. rs it is being used in Man
dan. merely AS an instrument OF an
noyance. 1t is utterly mischievou$. The
law which will be roted ol, in Grand
Forks is exactly the law which Ia in
operation in Mandan.
ON the matter rf turnlng over an-
thority tn the FIVE commissioners ser-
a%ra'elN. each operating Independently
of tho others. n comment may lac Of
fcrcd. AS the writer OF the above mr.
ticlc says. the board ma so arrange IL
that each commissioned is supreme
in his own feld. This may be done
by common consent. n it is a mat
tor which is OPTIONAL with tho board.
II that practice is followed, the result
l IL ~ NN l.Itut' 1it His'lltIt tltS SoN-
crnmepts, one for the police and fire
departments, one for streets and pub.
lie improvements, n for waterworks
aud sewers. and so on. Tive govern
mcntS is about -four too many. On
tn" other hand. il the board itself
retains general control Of these things,
VIC have a division of authority which
is confusing, for no one man will he
responsible for anything. AS we have
ii AT present onc man, the mayor of
she city. is responsible for all appoint
mcnts, and Therefore. for the charac-
ter uf the ,nen appointed and ihe
class Of work done. Tie Is a cnnSpic-
nous official. and we know wl1cr" 10
find him.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-02-24
THE MUSE.
Wl4o rs THE LOSER.

WllO is THE LOSER"
i" TIL" swirdlcr said the sucker:
'You may fool me now and then;
7 will listen t., your natter
Iust because 7 trust in men.
I believe them straight and honest,
Modest, brave and kind and true.
And they are-and that's thereszon
That I fall. my son. for You.
Yes. ] know YOU think you're wicked
And o do "our very worst:
Fn1 IN tact vcu're merely feeble.
C~ripple-wlt and aecursed.
With . crooked sense Of values
And a foolish love of pelf.
Flt the only me you're cheating
Is that sorry 7upe, Yourself"
7" tho swindlcr said the sucker:
Here, trot out Your bag IF tricks
Il amllscs me to help you--
What's Nour line of siIded bricks?
You're a sc,Iial sort of hessar
Aud Your stealing 7 forgive.
Eut if should AXE your standards
don't see how Won would live"
Tn weight of the transgressor i
short.
The deeper a man is in debit tho los.
he ca r"s Tor expenses.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-02-24
n A Few Humorous Stories II

An old farmer who had driven into
the neighboring village to make a. few
purchases took back with him rather
more hard cider thai was consistent
with careful driving. While going
down n steep bill his horse stumbled.
fell fiat in the road and refused to get
~. The farmer looked at him a mo-
rlent over the dashboard, then ex-
claimed: Cit up. you old fool. Git
UP, or I'll drive right over you!"-
Everybody's Magazine.
Henry Cabot Lodge, though his
family is n Of the Oldest in Amer
lea. has no sympathy with those who
claim descent from and use the arms
Of William the Conqueror, Richard
Occur de Lion. Charlemagna, and so
forth. There are, as everybody knows
many such persons.
At n of the New England society
dinners in New York a young man,
twirling the Hohenzollern crest upon
his watch chain, said to Senator
Lodge:
"How far ran your ancestry be
traced?"
I'm tempted to answer YOU in the
words of Symthe." said Senator
Lodge. "Synlthe. yom know, when
this question "a put to him, replied.
When my great grandfather sud-
dolly resigned his position Il cashier
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-02-24

her succeeding projects before the
famlly's outrages jmasinations-a
hand laundry, suffrasism edith had
a t'olerablc opinion az her own power
Ut oratorN'. a cafeteria, a day nursery,
q matrimonial bureau. Her sisters
grew white. She might. Edith laugh
20 Wickedly when she sprsng the last.
which relieved her father, He was a
closer observer than the others. and
had learned That when Edith laughed
she was merely Joking.
Finally Edith decided TO he a nurse.
The entire family. including the
hr"shcrs-in-law. RELAXED from their
worried attitude. Not that they want
cd her 4" bc a nurse, but it was rea.
sonahly safe, "Only." declared both
sisters, ~ don't want llcr taking are
of me. For if she decided to switch
from the medicine that the doctor
recommended to some of her W
preference. she'd hold our noses and
pour it down.
Edith beard and resented it. Don't
worrN.' II flung into the sitting room
from the hall doorway she happened
I" no passing, Il shan't waste my time
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-02-24

than started a. fatherly talk.
Edith went through high school
passahly. il not brilliantly. ann then
considered a profession. Her father,
who was nearly rich, balked: her
mother cried. when she almost decid-
ed TO take a class in the school for
young Cinnamon. III lock- llnr up
said father. "I:e quiet" begged her
mother tearfully, and maybe she'll
tQink of something else
She did think OF something else
running n bird store. THE ideal"
ravcd her sisters. when she
would clean the canary's cage at
home" u quiet" her mother beg
ged. I'D rather she'd DIP that than
YOU know she might do ANYTHING!
And We couldn't prevent herr"
Edith aloandoned that idea, trough.
The work appalled, her, and she pa
radcd her succeeding projects before
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-02-24

and brains nursing hypuchondriacs!"
Dear me- sigher her mother.
"That. child uses more terrible lang
uase every day." Whereupon the
sisters, though they we're angry, had
to laugh. But all three agreed they
wished Edith would marry some one
soon, although they would pity the
poor IA Immensely, aud said that
he would pay for all his sins right
here ON this earth. Aud three weeks
later they We're aghnSt TO get their
wish. Edith married The chief inferno
al the hospital where slo went to
servo her novitatc. She brought him
home for dinner one evening and an
noulted that the ceremony would
take place the following Wednesday.
She beamed with pride. .TIe was 9
thin, sallow little fellow. as insis-
niticant as q drenched rat. II had to
marry him." Edith explained, can
didly. He was working himself to
death, rushing from one case to an
other. without eating his meals prop
crly."
What clio o suppose she. sees in
him. chorused the sisters and their
mother. Her father looked up his
references, which We're good, and
learned that his father had left him
considerable properly. and SO tried tn
no thankful that Edith hadn't done
might have married most anybody. if
she had taken 4. wild notion. even. he
feared al times, 3. Chinaman. "Eut
! pity him." he sighed with Christian
sympathy. He SO small. Maybe,''
to Elith's mother, we ought to warn
him
i've been thinking the same she
said. I'm sure he really hasn't got
acquainted with her vet. Hc doesn't
look'strong."
Bu they didn't tell him. After all,
what good would it do? Edith would
marry him if she wanted to. and he
might wrisgle till he died OF exl1aus-
ton. but he couldn't get away.
So the ceremony went on. Edith
smiling in White silk, beaming in tri-
unrrh, John Musgins-that was his
name, and the two older sisters, mind
full Of past ranking comments, said
that he looked his name-walking de-
murcly beside her. Then they went
away for n horeymoon-~a short ono,
ss he was busy.
Poor fellow" aid every one-par-
erte, sisters, sisters' husbands and
friends. Poor. poor fellow. J Won
der if.they'H live together till the end
OF the llorey1noon7"
Rut they did At least. they re-
turned together, Edith still smiling.
though not 50 triumphant1y, And
they met every one at dinner the first
how Edith acted.
Edith talked fast, as usual. told
everything about the trip, about the
people they mot. about the hotels.
about her husbands work to which
he was returning. Edith" said her
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-02-24

IL you intend to do a thing do it
and don't talk SO much.
A woman seldom accepts her nus
bands excuse at par.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-02-24

she waited, and then at last, becoming
eXasperated, she broke into the con-
Ncrsation.
Madam, L smell your beans burn
ing" she announced, crisply.
: "A Mortified scream greeted the re-
mark, and the young lady was able
to put in her call.-Everybody's Mag
aZine,
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-02-24

A farmer spilled some whiskey OH
his barn floor SO that &: little stream
OF it ran out. \ certain JUS sailed
forth from his hiding place, and, be-
ing thirsty. took a sip. It tasted
strange and he ven hack and
thought. Then he came out and took
another sip and went back again and
thought. Then he came out and took
a big drink. Then he jumped UP oil
the edge of the soap box and stood
on his hind legs. bristled up his
wIliskers, and exclaimed:
Now bring out that blamed cat!"
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-02-24
Men Are Gods No Longer
(By T.. H. wooley)

w work IN the houehold nor as caretaker Of their children u. MOI a p unne
lot S o situated that she al make a nose in the world. Who ever heard of
a good mother? :"
And women have heretofore taken men at the masculine estimate;
have despsed their W work and lifted worshipful yes to mans work.
They have believed lei o be a superior sort of being, capable Of what
seems the impossible. They have had implicit faith in mascuhnty. as a
whole. to accomplish wonders beyond feminine strength or understanding.
They haNc been willing to put their lives into the keeping of men
with whom they ire hardly acquainted, in a bissful rus that those men
would b. willing and able to provide everything neadful through all the fu:
t Hurse Years. Even the old mother, WHO ought to know something T. men. has
have proved themselves inferior to the daughters. There must be something
superior about Il man..
That's h way all women fused tt think. That's the way a lot a hem
Just rs men must learn that women are human beings. women are
learning that men are just human beings and not gods because they happen
to haye been brn with the right O wear trousers. III.
They arc not learning this through marriage II that had been possible,
women would HAY beer wiser ages ago Their education is forced upon
them through the growing economic Independence Of women.
Women are discovering that they a do the same things that men do
and that men can't do the things that women have been doing unobtru-
|avely all these generations.
a woman knows that she "a go out into the business world or pro-
pttors Or best them: And she knows that ninety-nine men in u hundred
could o q % a FULL day Off housekeeping, family fnancRring. baby-tending,
inc hus6and-tending, without hysteria. And the excuse that it's new work
mats n reason the marriage rate is falling off SO aLarmingy. Wom-
10. 1t can't look upon man any longer a 8 II omnipotent beins. II has eaten
Of the fruit Of knowlede once nor and, in a way, woman has aeain been
out of Eden For thu old faith. after all. was something beautiful
and perhaps it urged the averages elfrespcctne man to greater ,cromnIsh-
ments than he cares to attempt now that he's found nut
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-02-24

corps by Col. George Barnett. who
has been the commanding officer of
Tile barracks at the Philadelphia navy
yard. The new commandant is a
of the Naval academy, To
which institution he was appointed
from Wisconsin in 1877.
A woman is apt to get all impress
sion WRONG end frst--if she steps Off
a moving street car that way.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-02-24
Safe for Babies, Effective for Grown.

That's Toey's Honey and Tar Com
lily and have sold it in my store and
it never fails to cure" Refuse q sub
pound. 1t has the confidence Of your
druggist who knows it will give you
satisfaction. w. w. Ncsslnith, States
boro. Ga, says: Il have used Foley's
Honey and Tar Compound In my fam
stitute.-Mc(1rath's Pharmacy.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-02-24

Vino picked wisconsin-'46-
in which to make his bow, but
early switched to Kansas. where
he's stuck from then till now?
Who there has preached without
surceasc the gospel of good corn?
(Sce miles of yellow maize which
now the erstwhi!e wastes adorn.)
Who's giving UP the job on which
he's worked for twenty years?
tNote Kansas and your uncle
Sam in act of shedding tears.)
Who landed in the spotlight right
by casting from his pate the
crown of senator that came upon
a. silver plate? Whose name, at
that in history will live much
longer than the most of 'e1m at
Washington? That F. D. Co
burn man.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-02-24
MARINE e RErIREs.

Major General Biddle Concludes so
Years' Service for Uncle Sam.
Washington, .. G.. Feb. 23.--After
80 years service, Maj. Gen. William
+. Biddle. commaldant of the United
States Marine corps since 1911. was
placed on the retired list today an
his OWL application. lie will be sue.
ceeded at the head of the marine
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1914-01-22
CHINESE CONSUL
CORRECTS REPORT
ON NEW MINISTER

Further information on the appoint
ment of a new Chinese minister to
Washington shows that his name is
Hsia kiai Flu, in place of the name
as it appeared at first, Tsia Kiai Su.
1t has not been learned yet how
soon he Will take up his duties in
Washington. A report has gained
some circulation that the new min
lister is an adherent of DR.. Sun, which,
Woo Huan. the Chinese consul here,
points out, is entirely incorrect. With
the receipt of the news here of Hsia' s
appointment, the information was Civ
en- out from Chinese quarters that the
new minister had sided with DR.. Sun
in the fight 20 overthrow the mon
archy, but that since the election Of
President Yuan he had given the lat
ter his undivided support. This has
possibly been construed to mean that
Hsia was Dr. Sun man still, and
the consul has asked the Star-Bulle-
tin to correct this impression He
does not touch on the past or present
political views of the new minister or
his activity one way or another, in
the revolution.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1914-01-22
CLEANLINESS IS POPULAR

The Outlook, commenting on the fact that the
six best sellers" among the new books of 1918
were all clean and wholesome, even if not great
novels, states it's belief in the popularity of
cleanliness in literature. III
That belief is welfoundcd. Two Of the nov
els mentioned, "The Inside of the Cup" by Win
st0n Churchill, and "N. VS. Eyes," by Henry
SytInor Harrison, received considerable atten
ton in Hawaii few months ago, thanks to DR.
DOremus Scudder'S illuminating exposition OF
them They were novels with purpose" hut
without the tedious solemhity which that hack
neyed phrase has come to imply at the hands OF
reviewers. .....
Cleanliness is popular not only in literature
hut in art, in the drama, in music in govern
ment. The normal mind prefers cleanliness t.
indecency What unclean play has stood the
test of time-unclean that is, id its entirety, in
its final analysis? Great, plays married by
coarseness have succeeded in spite of that flaw
which is instantly felt and regretted by the cul
Tired and the sensitive thcater goer. The mawk
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1914-01-22

gar men could afford TO ride arOupt
in automobiles and enjoy all the lux
u.ies that protective tariff affords.
III With these duties gone by the
board. automobiles and Injuries also
20 by the board. and the working
RAN Of Honolulu who depends upon
the sugar industry for living sho"ld
fight tooth and toe-nail 70 have the
tariff reinstated. in order that he may
lave butter upon his bread.
In one OF the San Francisco papers
recently | noticed an editorial based
upon report Of the department of
agriculture that for every SO worth
OF produce or manufactured goods, but
50 hal been paid for the labor in pro-
ducing these materials. | would like
TO know who pockets the SIS or the
400 percent profit on 81 worth of la
Dor? If that is the ratio under high
protective tariff. surely it will not
lessen with the tariff removed. So
why the awful boiler?
These last few statements have
slightly digressed from the coastwise
shipping law, but l just wanted to
try TO bring up the point with regard
10 the high cost of meat with the
tariff removed.
Today between San Francisco and
Honolulu the first-class passage costs
$65 and no seconi-class passages are
issued. because there is no cOmpeti-
ton between the islands and the
and the Orient and the Antipodes.
both first and second-class passages
ale issued, for the simple reason that
both the foreign bottoms aE:t the
American bottoms going to these
ports desire the trade. 1t is true, that
they have agreed for the time being,
at least. to abide by certain reductions
in both classes of travel, but | think.
if competition in both freight and
! assenger carrying was allowed be-
tween American ports, that the Amer
lean vessels would get the biggest
share of travel for American people
are prone to show their loyalty to the
American flag when it is placed in
opposition to the flag of a foreign
nation, and the flag of the foreign
nation would soon get out of the bust
ness, which, in the wind-up would re-
turn us to just where We are tC'1ay
travel only on American bottoms;
freight rates just as high or higher
than they are: but in the meantime
the middlemen and merchants would
have the opportunity to put a few
extra shekels in their pockets and
the consumer would never get any
more of a '1ook-in" at any time, ex-
cept possibly for the short time that
he would be allowed to travel for
little or nothing - comparatively
speaking, between American ports.
AS an illustration of what competi-
ton will do, merely wish to refer to
the case of Los Angeles and
San Francisco traffic. Several years
ago. boat fares were higher than. rail
road fares. Today first-class accom-
modations can be had for one-half the
cost of railroad fare, just simply be-
cause several liners of rival COM
panies have been added to the fleet
of passenger carriers between these
two ports. The same conditions may
we'll be said to obtain to travel be-
tween San Francisco and Portland.
Why not between Honolulu and San
Francisco?
INQUIRER
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1914-01-22

iSh Fast Lynne" the badlv-conStruct'1l. mrlo-
dramatic mel" Tom Cabin" HAY" won "ndur-
ing popularity, and brSid" their rrmarkabl" rec
ord of success year after year the temporary
craze for meretririous imp"rtations Of theatrical
filth from France or for the crude vulgarity of
the homemade pr"duc fades into inSignifi-
canoe
In Honolulu a movement has becn begun to
censor the mOvingpctur" films. 1t is Il move
mcnt in which the thcater managers should
heartily join. They are short-sighted indeed if
they do not realize that the confidence of the
public in the clean character of the offerings in
local houses is the greatest business asset they
can win and keep.