davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22
GERMANY's DEFENSIVE WAR

From the Washington Post.
 Defensive war by Germany, on her own soil, will be quite different from the bril- liant but losing game of invading Franec. The defenses along the Moselle, Rhine, Vistula and Oder are massive mod m works, invncible except when attacked by such siege guns as the Germans them- selves brought up against Liege and Ma mur. Behind the Notifications are rail- ways disposed with. a view to quick con centration of enormous forces at any threatened point. Heligoland the Gibral- tar of the North Sea, can stand off any fleet and protect Hamburg, Bremen and the mouth of the Kiel caanl. The Ger man fleet in the North sea is much more powerful than the Russian.
 An invasion of Germany, therefore, would meet with the most formidable ob- stacles. Possibly Germany could keep in check any attack by land, however pew erful. The empire is practically self-sus- taining and additional supplies are ob- tainable from Scandinavia. The defeat of the German fleet might close this channel of supplies and open the way for a sue cessful invasion; but so long as the fleet is intact it appears that Germany is in position to fight indefinitely on the de- fensve
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22
THE KAISER AT HOME
From the New York Sun.

From the New York Sun
 A REVIEW in the London Athen-
 "A aeum of a book of "reminiscences 4 by a Miss Topham, from 1902 teacher of English to the Kaiser's daugh- ter, the present duchess of Brunswick, shows some pleasant, peaceful. friendly pictures that contrast sharply with the present The Kaiser. unforeseeing irony, pulled down the pretty gabled cottages on his country place at Cadinen and ''erected in their place cottages of which the plans had been sent from England. ]" The Princess Victoria loved to help the village blacksmith blow his bellows, and found his shop, that fire palace of every child, much better than learning the date of the Silesian wars A sound view, which many older critics hold of the comparative merits of chronology and the forge. s
 At Rominten, an east Prussian shooting box of the Kaiser's, no pomp or ceremony was used, there was no constant doffing and donning of clothes, and the Kaiser must have enjoyed himself. The English teacher showed him at a private supper on the train thither:
 He told one small anecdote after an- other, some of them almost childish, but irr esistibly comic when accompanied by his infectious laugh
 boy again, gay, hearty, willing to entertain and capable of entertaining. Courts and camps, statesmen, diplomats and bores, are far away from him. We like our <aisers and Kings and all great personages to appear in robe de chambre, so to speak, the trappings and proper ties of their tedious profession laid away, simple and themselves. The euri- ous thing about Wilhelm II, however is that if his daughters English teacher is not mistaken, he is essentially the same in all companies, he has no special reserves of character for domestic con his great charms" that he has no stereotyped lines of conduct; if he does not feel like making himself agreeable he does not do it. He is no slave of precedent" In short, perfectly informal Kaiser as far removed as possible from the Byzantine type. An imperial or royal person who actually does as he likes is rather rare They seem to have to walk to measure, poor devils. They are swathed in etiquette, swaddled in conventions. irretrievably red taped.
 Miss Topham says that the Kaisers conversation at it's best has a. certain quality of intoxication, is provocative of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22
Youngsters Learn to swim

'The swimming campaign inaugu- rated by the Young Mems Christian as- sociation last week met with great suc- cess,' said General Secretary Stallings last night.
 More than 100 young fellows were en- listed for swimming lessons. which were given in the pool of the central greatly interested in swimming methods, and were encouraged by our new instruc- tor, MT. Abel, to put forth earnest eff fort to acquire the difficult art. MT. Abel came to Birmingham recently from Baltimore, where his skill as swimming teacher and athletic instructor was greatly appreciated. Earnest attention was given to swimming instructions all during last week. and each morning the lower portion of the building was made to resound with cries of glee by the youngsters and the commands of the in- structor
 'The parents of the sboys became greatly interested in the rapid progress made by the pupils. and Saturday night when the final event was held more than 400 people were in attendance. The older people were truly astonished at results obtained in such a short period of time; for out of a total of .102 youngsters who had been enlisted in the course of the week, 70 had become remarkably pro- ficient in the aquatic art
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22
LUKE M,LuKE SAYS

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
 The ld-fashioned man who used to blow down the muzzle of a gun to see If 1t was loaded now has a son who cranks an automobile with the clutch in.
 Why is 1t that your note always falls due on the day you are broke?
 An automobile Is like a baby. You can get along without one before you get one, but after you get one you wouldn't give 1t up for anything
 This would be whole lot better world if we did not leave our religion behind us when we walk out of church on Sunday.
 They haven't discovered perpetual motion yet. But the man who invented chewing gum was on the right track
 It is great comfort to fat woman to imagine that she is broad minded just because her shape is that way.
 There was quite a contrast between Dr. Jekyll and MT. Hyde. But it wasn't as great as the contrast between the woman the ice man sees in the kitchen in the morning and the woman he sees leaving the same house for trip down town in the afternoon.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22

The capital of Prusslan Silesia is Bras- lau, situated on the Oder river, $50 miles from it's mouth and about 200 miles from Berlin It is 50 miles from Russian Po- land. According to the census of 1910 .he population of Breslau was 511,S91, slightly less than that of Baltimore. The city is noted for it's handsome monuments and artistic fountains. It Is the headquarters of the Sixth German army corps and even in times of peace a large body of troops is stationed there Machinery and tools, railway and trolley cars. furniture, car pets paper, musical instruments, glass and china are manufactured. Breslau is also noted for it's gold and silver work It has large trade in coal, sugar, cereals. spirits. petroleum and timber. The city was taken by Frederick the Great in l7I1 It was recovered by the Austrians in 1757. but was again captured by Frederick in the same year and has ever since be- longed to Prussia, with the exception of a few days in 1897 and again in 1913. when 1t was held by the French.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22
STAIN NOT THE SKY

By Henry Van Dyke. Ye gods of battle, lords of fear,
 Who work your iron will as well As once ye did with sword and spear,
 With rihed gun and rending she'll Masters of sea and land, forbear The fierce invasion of the inviolate airi With patient daring man hath wrought A hundred years for power to fly, And shall we make his winged thought
 A lowering horror in the sky. Where fiocks of human eagles sail, Dropping their bolts of death on hill and
 dale?
 An, no: the sunset is too pure,
 The dawn too fair, the moon too bright For wings of terror to obscure
 Their beauty. and betray the night That keeps for man, above his wars The tranquil vision of untroubled stars Pass on, pass on, ye lords of fear.
 Your footsteps in the sea are red. And black on earth your paths appear
 With ruined homes and heaps of dead. Pass on, and end your transient reign. And leave. the blue of heaven without ..
 stain.
 The wrong ye wrought will fall to dust,
 The right ye shielded will abide. The world at last will learn to trust
 In law to guard and love to guide. The Peace of God that answers praver Will fall like dew from the inviolate aiv.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
In the Tennessee valley

John H. Peebles of MooresvIlle. one of the large landholders and cotton planters Of the Tennessee valley, Is visiting his daughter. Mrs. Leftwitch, of Birming- nam. In speaking of the cotton situa- ton yesterday MT. Peebles said This cotton crop has cost the farmer close to l2c per pound to raise, and it will mean bankruptcy for numbers of farm CTS to sell at prices offered now.
 will pick about $50 bales this year and l am going to build galvanized iron warehouse and store every bale of it un- Ill the price goes up to what it is really worth. My best information is that most Of the cotton in my section will be held l don't believe a bale of cotton that can be held off the market will be sold at present ruinous prices.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22

thought and wit" We are not very much impressed, however, by it's effect on cer- tain professors who retire from talk with his majesty with the somewhat dazedly ecstatc look of people who have indulged in champagne
 To certain professors. including certain American professors. the Kaiser seems to have given medicines to make them love him. Possibly it is not his conver- sation, however engaging. that has be- witched them. Professors have been known dearly to love a lord; if George II had greeted them with his formula of What, what, whati doubtless they would have left H. B. NJ. with a lifelong Impression of the striking intellectual force of his remarks. At any rate, the Kaiser is brilliant whether professors are or not. His love for his little daughter is good to read about:
 He wrote long letters to her when away sent her picture postcards and small trifling presents from places where he was staying. Her first letter to him in Egish was something of an event. written with the greatest care and after much anxious consultation with me as to the intricacies of that awful English spelling It received an immediate and flattering reply also in English
 Was it Lord Haldane of whom the Kaiser said to Miss Topham:
 "A minister of war and can't ride; unthinkabe.
 As anything about one of the most con- spicuous rules in history, variously ranged from cabotn to Caesar interests, hear the English teacher:
 He himself believes that he is very, astute and can see further than most men. He is, so to speak, little blinded by his own powers, which are apt to lead him astray. He has never acquired the broad tolerant, outloo kof a man who tries to view things from another's stand point. He has. in fact. only one point of vieW-his own He has a mar differences, is too prompt in decision, lies perhaps too entirely on his own judg- ment and his own personal desires and experiences; he does not give himself time | to think out, to weigh consequences and he has few really great minds around him. Con- scientous hard working men in plenty, but the man of imagination original conception. of new ideas does not seem to be admitted to his councils.
 The Judgment of a well informed and friendly if unimportant witness.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22

deal of attention next spring. The resolutions adopted at Wetumpka were published in The Age-Herald, but they were so business-like that reproduc- tion here is deemed worth while.
 Resolved: l. That it is the sense of this convention that the best interest of the cotton growing south will best be subserved by mutual spirit of cooperation, a clear understanding between debtor and creditor looking toward a result that will rebound to the mutual benefit of all and at the same time prevent a placing of the souths staple crop on a market that will entail a loss to all concerned.
 70 That We indorse the 'buy-a-bale' movement and call upon all patriotic citizens in the south and beyond the cotton growing section to come to the aid of this movement to the utmost of their ability.
 ..3 We indorse the move to estab- fish flour mills throughout the south, and recommend that all farmers who can plant a certain amount of wheat this will in a way, decrease next years acreage of cotton and at the same time will add new wealth and new food products for the south
 .'4 It is the sense of this eonyen- tion that all cotton owners who can should hold their cotton: that those who have cotton, yet who are unable to hold, should so store their cotton and protect same in warehouses and otherwise, that his creditor may be protected and his cotton used as col lateral
 .5. That the best interest of the south will be subserved by united effort on the part of the cotton farm CTS in decreasing the cotton acreage in 1915 at least 50 per cent-the acreage not planted in cotton to be used for other crops, or for pasturage in the raising of hogs and cattle. If feasi- ble, it is the sense of this meeting that some legislation should be en- acted by the legislature of Alabama, acting in conjunction with the other cotton growing states, looking to the enforcement by legal means of the cotton acreage for 1915.
 The convention at Montgomery could not do better than to incorporate these resolutions or the substance of them in its formal action.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22
The Fair Season

With the coming of autumn, In her trainings of russet and gold, there IS iov in the heart of the ballyhoo man, the farmer and the stock breeder as well as the city resident and all sorts and conditions of people who ma measure as we'll as instruction, at county and state fairs. In many narts of the country. the biggest an nual event is the fair. Thither great crowds wend their way to gape at the exhibits and quaff the cup of enjoy ment to the full. The bands play, the pennons fly, stirring races take place on Che race track, and all kinds of free shows delight the multitude.
 It is a joyous and a democratic oc- casion. Like the circus, the fair draws people from all walks of life who rub elbows together on the fair grounds, actuated by the same motive-a desire to see what is to be seen, regardless of corns that may be trampled on and tender parts of ones anatomy that may be prodded. One must not over look anything from the prize pig, en- tirely too fat to be comfortable, and the Turkish ladies in the tent shows,
 of .,,l.o c,,ffa.. al ct oc much from embonpoint as the prize pig, to the grand, glorious and glitterlng' spectacle to which the press agent de- votes his choicest adjectives.
 October is the ideal month in the south for state and county fairs. All ready ones blood has begun to jingle at the prospect of winter; the long, hot summer months are behind us, our Tagging spirits are revived, our hearts beat faster and we attack life's prob lens with renewed energy. No won der that we lend willing ear to the myriad voices of the fair calling us out for one final fling" before we settle down to the winters work. The farmer rejoices because his work is done, but the same keen enjoyment characterizes city people as well as country people who attend any one of the numerous fairs held through the south at this time of year.
 Tremendously successful in the past, the Alabama State Fair promises to break all previous records this year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22
THE ETERNAL FEMININE
from the Boston Truth,


 According to the papers, there's po- lice judge in Colorado who is threatened with a recall petition because she persists in doing fancy work on the bench. Pretty fussy. aren't they? wouldn't you suppose that an ordinary man would really enjoy seeing the judge swaying gently back and forth in her rocker and doing punch work while she listened to his case? And certainly 1t would have a humanizing and up lifting effect on a great husky thug to see her whip lace deftly around pin- cushion or hemstitch pillowcase before she said ",ren years at hard labor
 What kind of work do those Colorado people consider suitable for the judges bench, anyway? Gingham parons?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22
Cotton Farmers of Elmore

The cotton market situation is inn proving, and will continue to improve. The buy-a-bale movement has spread throughout the south, and even if the volume of cotton purchased as mat ter of sentiment should not be as large as was expected the effect has already been admirable.
 In the various plans proposed by government officials and business men for protecting the cotton farmer against unprofitable prices there have been many practical ideas, but the cotton growers themselves must or ganize and be ready to cooperate with bankers and merchants in order to ad- just conditions and reap substantial benefit And the farmers are organ izing. That was a representative meeting of agriculturists and business men held at Wetumpka last Saturday. Nearly every beat in Elmore county was represented by number of pros- porous farmers, and at that meeting . strong delegation was selected to attend the large convention to be held in Montgomery today. The resolutions passed Saturday were not only sound in principle, but gave evidence of a fine spirit.
 The Elmore farmers were strongly in favor of crop diversification. There has been already decided progress in that direction during the last two or three years, but now conditions ac- centuate the necessity of still further diversification. Stock raising and wheat growing will receive a great
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22
Dancing Dad

When Alice met the Caterpillar in Wonderland he requested her to recite a poem," said D. B. Grace, and when she had concluded, the Caterpillar said it was not recited correctly. Probably the following version, being up-to-date. would have been more pleasing to the critic: " You are old, Father William,' the young
 man said,
 And should sit in your old armchair, But you necessarily tango, instead, And you're expert in the Grizzly Bear ' In youth Father William replied to
 his son.,
 I feared it would iniure my brain; But now that I'm perfectly sure l have
 none,
 Why, I do it again and again.. :" You are old said the youth, as
 mentioned before,
 And have grown most uncommonly fat, Yet you do a turkey trot out on the floor Pray what is the reason of that? In my youth, said the sage, as he
 shook his gray locks,
 I kept all my j'ints very supple By the use of buzzard ile-1O cents the
 box
 Allow me to sell you a couple.' |" You are old said the youth, 'and your
 knees are too weak
 For anything faster than walking; Yet you finished the dance from bottom to peak, Pray tell me and I'll ceast talking {" Tn my youth said his father. I took tc the blow, And followed the mule in the furrow And the strenuous life taught my legs how To dip and to duck and to burrow.'" !"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22
MexIco's National Beverage

A correspondent of the New York Sun writing recently from Fl Paso, says:
 'Puique is the national beverage of Mexico, but is consumed almost exclu- sively by the lower classes. It sells re- tail from 11a to cents a quart It has a whitish gray color, tastes like sour milk, and smells like a skunk.
 This remarkable beverage is extracted from a plant or species of cactus known as the maguey plant. This plant attains a height of six to eight feet, with the same width It resembles very closely a giant artichoke. Its leaves are frequently 10 feet long, IF feet wide and 10 inches thick. The juice (puique) is extracted in much the same way that you tap a maple tree.
 The plant has to grow for seven years before it gives any pulque, then it is tapped, and it continues to give an aver age of one and a half gallons every day for three months, then it dies When the plant is dead it's great value then begins. From the stems of the lower leaves two other drinks are made tequila and meg cal
 These are very intoxicating, as clear as water. are drunk from small whisky glasses, and sell from to cents a drink, about half an ounce With the leaves of the plant they fatten cattle. thatch houses, make ropes, brooms, sewing thread, needles, paper, vinegar. moasses, caves troughs and many other useful things, and besides these the Indians ex- tract worm from the leaves, which they cook and eat, and consider a great deli eacy.
 The pulquerias, that Is, the shops where pulque is sold, are mere filthy stinkpots, patronized only by the lower element of both sexes'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22

casualties which are resulting from the terrific fighting is contained in the announcement of the British of ficers killed. Seven hundred and ninety-seven are listed as killed, wounded or missing. This is out of all proportion to the troops engaged If the number of officers killed reaches such a figure the totals of losses in the ranks when announced will paralyze the world.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22

the early editions of Shakespeare con tained in the British pavilion.
 The public library has received word from Miss Adelaide Hasse, who is in charge of it's exhibit at the International Exhibit of the Bookmaking Trades. Sne has assured the library authorities that no such damage has been done. The ex- hibition is open in all its departments and is attended by considerable number of visitors despite the commotion of tho period. In her last letter. which was re- ceived yesterday. it is quite clear that the news of the destruction has reached Germany, for she assures the library here that this story is wholly without founda- tion.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22
HE WAS
From the Philadelphia Star.

The minister came to Jethros house he was to christen Jethro's little son. Jeth, Jr. ''Jethro,' said the minister s,l. emnly taking his host aside before the ceremony, "Jethro, are you prepared for this solemn event?'
 "Oh. yes. indeed, doctor,' Jethro beamed. i've got two hams, three gal Ions of ice cream. pickles, cake''--- NO. no. Jethro,'' said the minister with smile. No, no, my friend. I mean spir- itually prepared
 Well. I guess yes! Two demijohns of whisky and three cases of beer!'' Jethro cried in triumph.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22
In Concrete Form

Tn the Nestibule of the Jemison Real Estate and Insurance company one may see the resources of Alabama presented in concrete, striking form" said an advertising man. "On one side is q bale of cotton representing the greatest agricultural product of the state and the south, while at the other the diversified products of the steel mill at Fairfield are heaped In brief, here we have an ex- position in nutshell, so to speak, of the wealth producing power of the country tributary to this city. Great Is Bir- mingham,' as the legend on the Jemison bale declares.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22
sHAkEspEARE EDITIONS SAFE

From the NeW 1ork oui
 The report that English and French photographic exhibits at Leipzig had been destroyed has been twice published among the uncertain rumors of the war. In one account of the circumstances it was said with considerable detail that in this loss had been included complete set of all
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22
CERTAINLY NOT.

CERTAINLY NOT. T don't know what I would give to be in bed this minute" said a guest at a social function to a man whom he met in the smoking room. T feel the same way" said the man. This is the last one of these internal blowouts I expect to attend for some- time"
 This is the last one I expect to give for sometime.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22

Colonel Roosevelt says he hopes and believes he will not be presidential can didate in 1916. but of course if the moose believed loudly enough he might respond to the call.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22

The Detroit Free Press says that what the world needs Is soft drink that peo- ple won't tire of. The soft drink that VIII enable consumers to see moving rie- lures has not been invented yet
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22

A New York judge has ruled that a Frenchman who is fighting for his coun- try must continue to pay alimony to his wife. in America The noble patriot w,,l find that hard to do on his present s.l- ary.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-22

The Emperor of Austria says the war causes him great pain, but even at that he probably doesn't suffer as much as some of his humble subjects whose pains are physical rather than mental