Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1914-05-07

8sH3e41a :: !
BYTHH new PASTOR
Wnd oats never grow nesr wan.aowers.
s
Reconstruction isn't one Of the devirs faults
# y = u
a baby never cries for its father when 1t is hungry
\
A burnt child breads the FIRE. It's dinerent with ! boozenghter.
4
This life is ! paradox mar gets only a much happiness as he
gives others.
Cheer ups IN about two months ven be looking for the shady side
The state physicians and surgeons meet here this month. Keep g
line on your appendx.
$50 \
It's hard to be honest and look . girl n the eye when she's dressed
up for an evening party
When father loafs he 1oafs. but when mother sloafs she has to- mend
Johnnies pants o suaes frock.
y = y y y
a man who would lose money rather than induce q felovDedng to
lie. will sometimes ask a spnster how old she is.
y y
What has become of the odfashioned woman who carried the baby
under one arm and MIXED the COW with the other?
The new pastor remembers seeing a man once who thought he was
getting more than he earned-but that was years Co.
There are quite a lot Of people in codington county who have no
enemies but they occupy obscure Bplaces IN the cemetery.
The man who. has lumbago from shovenng coal never sympathizes
with the fellow who breaks his arm ranking his automobile.
You can tell a girl she is brainless or wild or homely or bigfooted.
but a you value your reputation don't tell her she's out Of style
y y -
sister reminds the pastor Of a green hunter on the pass with a pump
gun-every time A sherinduck goes over she takes a shot at him.
y @##*
The oIdfashoned boy who used to get penny for working the churn
dasher two hours. has a son who kicks because he has to crank the auto
mobile.
When an old man sizes up his vifea build and architecture and
realizes that he used to cali her ~ootie.s he is lead to wonder II there
isn't a strain Of insanity in his family.
Many a good woman spends al hour rigging on her trothng harness
and COMPRISING a 4sinch waist into = 3einch straitjacket 50 she can at
tend a meeting and indignate about the foolish heathens who wear rings
in their noses.
y * y
THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT. 8.
The reason why we live is because tissue metabonsm, of metaphor
zeal origin, hinetieally produced, sustains life By cell propagatiohs Pre-
liberation segregation elimination, transformation and determination.
NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES.
Cohen and Levi had adjoining staterooms on a big ocean liner.
During the third night out the steamer corided with a sunken derenct
The crash reused the passengers and they "a on deck The liner was
badly damaged and the captain ordered the boats cleared, while: the pas
sengerss were given time to dress. Levi ran down to his stateroom, and,
after dressing raped on the door Of cohens stateroom. Levi walked in
and found Cohen painting his cheeks.
For Why are you painting your face28 asked Levi,
Remember the Titanic!' exclaimed Cohen.
What has the Titanic to DO with your face?9 demanded Levi
Ladies first. replied Cohen.
UNEVEN.
Things amt divided right, BY gum,
Il ~ # Some loaf, while Others toll;
Some folks get all the wine. and some
Get all the castor oil.
Illinois Siren.
Things amt divided right. by gum!
@ - You said a truthful thing; @ G
Some folks get all the grapes. and some
All the grapefruit, by ing!
Houston Post.
Things amt divided right by gum!
You're right at every throw;
some folks get all the cutard, and some
Get all the dough. #