davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1914-07-12

ventor. His name was J. Smith. He
was one of the old family of Smiths
that came over LATER than the May
flower. | don't know just what branch
of the family he belongs to, but prob
ably to the Egg-smith branch.
For about five days we transacted all
the business of the company at meals.
We hadn't rented an office yet, and We
didn't need one, for J. Smith wouldn't
have been in it if we had had one. He
would have been out eating meals. I
guess he hadn't seen a square meal for
years, the way he went at them. Perky
and me had to stand watch and guard
The Washington herald., 1914-07-12

Now this is what he did on his first
trip and what he has done on every trip
he has managed since then:
He inquiries where his client wants
to 60. what he wants to hunt, and how
long he can be away. Then he makes
an estimate OF the cost of the trip. Then
he tells the client where to meet him
to start on the trip The client carries
his own outing clothes, and, if he
wishes, his own ammunition and rifles.
Mr.. Summerson's estimate includes
everything else-canoes, guides, tents,
bedding, and even moving pictures-if
the client wants to take them home so
that his friends will not think he is ex-
aggerating when he tells them OF the
big game he bagged.
Before the scheduled trip Mr.. Sum-
merson goes ahead to make arrange
ments He engages guides, buys sup
plies. and sends scouting parties in the
hunting country to keep watch of the
game.
The result is all the sports of the
wilderness, with all the comfort of your
own back yard. Mr.. Summerson does
the worrying and the planning and
takes all the responsibility. And the
best of it all is. from the clients point
of view, that Mr. Summerson can save
not only worry. but money So we'll
does he know the tricks OF the trade
that he can make big profit and still
charge his clients less for a personally
conducted sightseeing tour of the will
derness than they would have to pay If
they went by themselves and were at
the mercy of unknown guides and
packers. From Mr.. Summerson's own
point of view. the best thing about his
vocation is that he can turn to good ac-
count the occupation that gives him the
greatest happiness.
Mr.. Summerson has had some we'll
known men as his clients. He has taken
them through Newfoundland, New
Brunswick, Quebec, Florida, our own
The Washington herald., 1914-07-12
Nopyight, lsH.l

~AY, honestI what's the use worry
- ing about things anyway?
grabbed a chunk of poetry out OF
a book the other day about how all us
folks are nothing but eggs in the nest
of Fate with the old hen Chance setting
on us, and it amt up to us to fret about
what wen hatch into. l guess that's
right too.
First off when read that poetry /
thought it was sporting-page stuff,
rhyned up, and that it was some line of
talk about that baseball feller Chance,
and that the poet guy was talking about
gooseeggs Mr.. Chance could put over on
the other nine, but it come to me that
Chances name wasn't Hen, so It couldn't
mean him, and then got on to the real
dope. 1t was a wise guy that wrote
those lines, believe me!
You can't beat an egg at the No Worry
game, can you? You don't catch an egg
getting out of bed at a. m. and wan
dering around the house to see if the
doors are all locked, or sitting on the
edge of the bed at 3 p m. wondering
how to drape some lace over the spot on
its tango gown where the coffee spilled
Old Mr.. Egg just stays where he is put
and thinks about nothing, and old Mrs.
Egg does likewise Their motto is "Sit
snug, and let the old hen do the work"
And say! you'd think an egg had some
reason to worry if any one had. If you
and me were eggs, and had the worry
habit like we have now, we'd fret our
selves to pieces for fear something would
tap against our shells and spill US over
the nearby country. Wed be scared
sick all the time for fear a weasel would
mash US, or a hound dog gobble US, or
the old reprobate egg-eating hen make
away with US. Wed fret every time the
old hen got off the nest to take a con-
stitutional for fear she wouldn't come
back, and We'd fret if we were in a
guaranteed incubator for fear somebody
would let the heat play out. Some of
us would worry because we would be
afraid we'd turn out to be hens, and
The Washington herald., 1914-07-12

Egg Co., $4,000 capital stock. You're
the owner of one (I) share, and I'm
the owner of four thousand shares, and
the poor guy that invented the ready
beaten egg is the owner of all the shares
that are left. Hurry up and sign, be-
cause he's waiting down on the corner
to get the first square meal in three
weeks, and unless get down there with
a dollar and the papers he's liable to sell
the patent to somebody for sandwich.
Hasten, Suzanne
So hastened, and signed, and then
Perky borrowed a dollar from me to
conclude the financial deal with the in
The Washington herald., 1914-07-12
Copyright, ls1I.l
6 ! small hoy did rn,, -

S a small boy, did you ever on a
a bright spring day steal away to
L = the little brook down behind
the schoolhouse and fish for trout? Or
did you ever, on crisp, frosty-morn-
ing, saunter forth with the family dog
and an old gun to take random shots at
squirrels and partridges? Perhaps
understanding retribution took away
some of the pleasure of the fishing trip;
and, of course, the clumsy old dog
frightened away your game. But doesn't
the memory of those far-off boyhood
excursions come back 20 you some
times and obliterate the walls of your
Office and make you once again the
monarch of all outdoors?
o. T. Summerson, who calls himself
a big-game contractor, had the same
boyish love for hunting and fishing that
has blessed every other normal small
boy since the beginning of time. Per-
haps he had more of it than falls to the
lot of most youngsters. At any rate,
when it came time for him to find an
occupation that would be as remunera-
five as it was congenial, he decided to
make capital of his boyish love of rod
and gun.
So he became a big-game contractor.
81 inherited my liking for hunting
from my father" says Mr.. Summerson
when you ask him to tell you what first
made him take up hunting as a pastime-
when l was so small that 1 could
hardly tramp over the underbush, 1 used
to hunt with my father, in my home
down in Starmton, Va-Stanton, we
call it down there" he goes on, with a
drawl in his voice and twinkle in his
The Washington herald., 1914-07-12

over him the first day or two because
when he sat down to eat he would eat
right through the meal and then start
in on the napkins and table cloth. He
had wonderful appetite. Perky said
that if we could have incorporated his
appetite and sold it in meal lengths to
dyspeptic millionaires We could have
made a fortune in a week. What
wouldn't some Of our rich men have been
willing to give for an appetite that
would make a plain restaurant table
cloth with the restaurant name en-
broidered in red cotton look like real
food?
The Washington herald., 1914-07-12

eye for in all his years afeld he has
never lost the love of his Southern
home. up North, of course, it is
Staunton." And he emphasizes the diff
ference. "And when 7 would get so
tired that l couldn't trudge along by
my fathers side any longer, he'd swing
me to his shoulders and would finish
the hunt pickaback."
That was the beginning of Mr.. Sum-
merson's hunting.
One wonderful day when he was
about eight years old he received his
first gun from his father-a single-bar-
rel shotgun, twelve gauge, to him at the
time the most wonderful gun in the
world. And after that his hunting trips
took him farther and farther aheld.
There was another wonderful day in
young Summerson's boyhood. That was
the day when Capt. c. A. Loud went to
Staunton from his home in Los An
geles. Capt. Loud was himself famous
hunter, and he spent several years in
the Virginia town breaking dogs. He
was glad to find a companion as faith
full and as enthusiastic as young Sum-
merson, and together the two explored
all the fields and woods of the neigh
borhood.
By the time young Summerson was
ready to enter the University of Vir-
ginia he had gained some reputation as
a sportsman. And when the family for
tune disappeared at the end of his SEN
ior year at college he naturally turned
to the one thing he liked and understood
above all Understanding.
With his father he had been hunting
in the Western States and up north in
Alaska. Somehow, he knew, he could
turn his expert knowledge of the hunt
ing country to account
He could be guide. He was
equipped for that. But he soon real
lied that he was equipped for more than
that Guides did not make much money,
The Washington herald., 1914-07-12

some because we would be afraid we'd
turn out to be roosters: And the whole
lot of US would be scared stiff all the
time for fear we'd turn out to be part
of cake or end in the mayonnaise
dressing or get thrown at bum actor.
But an egg don't worry. 1t is the
most deiicately built thing on earth,
with a shell that couldn't pass an effi-
cheney committee in a thousand years.
and an inside too big, and too sloshy,
and too spilly for the shell. If man
was to make an egg he'd build shell
out of sheet TIN, and when he shipped
it he would pack it in cotton, but an egg
that is henmade just has to get along
the best way it can and be cheerful and
hopeful and optimistic, and let it 60 at
that. And sayl l guess an egg has the
right steer, after all. You can't tell un-
til the she'll breaks what is going to be
your finish, can you? You got to wait,
and you might as we'll wait with asmile.
When you're grabbed out of the nest of
Fate you'll know what's up. If you can
peep-peep you're hatched, and if you
smell hot bacon you're going to be fried
egg. And then it is too late to worry.
HonestI amt l the limit when l get
going? l bet III be one of these old
women that talk the head off the gas
bill collector every time he comes round.
Well, it was this way-Perly has gone
into business for himself again. If the
eggs knew what Perky was up to they'd
turn over in their nests and begin to
worry.
As soon as Perky was fired out of the
Society for the Prevention of Pinning
Feathers on Snails' job, and had got me
to stand for temporary before-marriage
divorce, without alimony, he set about
looking for good thing to tie to, and
now we're here and in business We've
got two dry goods boxes full of per-
fectly neat stock to sell and six cases
of just as fashy propectuses as you ever
read, and all we need is the suckers to
read the prospectuses and buy the stock.
We're Perkins Ready Beaten Egg Com
pany, ia Broadway, New York, U. S.
A, and I'm the Company.
l wasn't going to stay with that snail
society when Perky got out, and I was
packing my hairpins and face rag into
my bag, ready to move out, when Perky
came in on a run.
Got itT he says. Got the greatest
invention of the twentieth century. Sign
here"
Now wait" l says. 'T don't sign
anything until look to see whether il
is an application for life insurance or
petition for votes for ladies'"
"Oh, sign" he says, impatient like.
This is nothing like as important as
those things. This is just the incorpora-
tion paper of Perkins Ready Beaten
The Washington herald., 1914-07-12
$ A MONEY-MAKING
NINH( I By OSBORN MARSHALL

and the life of guide lacked much
that he wanted in his life.
"Pll be a big-game contractor"
The thought came to him suddenly,
and it settled all his questionings. A
big-game contractor he is and a big
game contractor he intends to remain.
The fact that the vocation he had
chosen was brand-new one did not
trouble the young man. To be sure, it
would be difficult to get the work
started. But its very novelty meant that
he was working in field that he had
all to himself.
He set to work systematically. He
got in communication with the guides
he had met in his, travels. He studied
time tables and railroad maps with all
the enthusiasm of a commuter. He
wrote to dealers in the sort Of supplies
that a hunter needs-rifes and tents,
food, and the kinds of clothes that are
worn in the wilderness. And he bold
ly advertised in the high-class sporting
magazines.
Mr.. Summerson realized that his eli
ents must be persons of wealth. 1t
costs money to take a 1000 or 5000 mile
trip after caribou. And, besides the
money that the trips would cost, Mr..
Summerson intended to charge enough
to make his chosen vocation a paying
one
His first client was an exception. Hs
The Washington herald., 1914-07-12

perimental eggs, we'll make our for
tuAes. Housewives will go crazy over
the idea, just as our prospectus says
they will, the way they went crazy over
pre-cooked oatmeal and ready-roasted
coffee and everything pre- and ready.
J. Smiths patent is to have eggs al
ready beaten when they are bought, and
thus do away with egg beaters in the
family kitchen. 1t is very simple The
factory just beats the egg before the
shell is broken, and sells the beaten egg
in the original she'll. OF course when
an egg is beaten it occupies more space
than an unbeaten egg, but that don't
bother J. Smith. He has that all fixed.
If you soak an egg in vinegar awhile
the lime comes out of the she'll and the
shell is soft and rubbery Then you beat
the egg and the shell stretches enough
to hold the beaten egg, and then you put
it in lime water and the shell hardens
again, and you have an egg FIVE times as
big as it first was, with a shell Just as
brittle as at first, and when a woman
wants to use beaten egg she just cracks
one of Perkins Beaten Eggs on the
edge of bowl, and there she isl
The only thing that J. Smith has to
work out is how to beat the egg with
out taking it out of the shell, but, as We
say in the prospectus, that is a very
minor matter and experiments are now
being conducted in our laboratory. I
know they are being conducted because
every now and then l can hear a soft
squash in J. Smiths Office and his voice
speaking reproachfully OF eggs, and then
he comes out and goes into the wash
room and washes the egg of the suit
Perky bought him. 1t is just a matter
of time and experiment to reach grand
success. J. Smith can already leave an
egg in its shell without beating it, and
he can beat an egg after it is out Of the
shell, and all he has to do is to combine
the two and beat an egg without taking
il out of the shell. OF course, if we
were going to sell eggs it might worry
Perky and me that ]. Smith doesn't get
along any faster, but we don't want to
sell eggs. We want to sell stock We
want to keep J. Smith fed up enough so
he'll stay around and experiment, so that
if any stock-buying prospects drop in
they'll see we are dealing in good faith
and really have an experimenter expert
menting. Nobody could stand in our
outer Office and hear the egg beater
whizzing in J. Smiths Office, and then
see him dart out with a worried brow
and signs of sudden egg bath and noe
be convinced that he was an earnest ex-
perimenter, for if there is one thing in
the world a man does not experiment
with unless he is in earnest it is an un-
known, unfathomed raw egg.
The Washington herald., 1914-07-12

The only way we got any business
done the first few days was by having a
code, We fixed it up that when ]. Smith
said "Pass the butter" it meant "yes,"
and when he said pass the bread" it
meant no" When we wanted him to
say yes" Perky took the butter off the
table and held it in his lap, and when we
wanted him to say mo" hid the bread
under the table. That brought the code
signals ali right.
] never saw such hungry man as J.
Smith. The first day we had meetings
of the company we ate breakfasts from
Q a. m. until 2 p. m, and lunches from
noon until 5, and dinners from 4 until
Q o. m That overlapped, them some, but
it did not worry J. Smith. He was
democratic eater, and could eat the din
ner dessert and then the breakfast ham
and eggs, and then the luncheon cold
cuts. and then the dinner soup, and then
the breakfast pancakes. 1t didn't make
any difference to J. Smith. Anything
that looked like food suited him. Perky
had to pawn his watch to pay for the
meals, but that was better than letting
J. Smith eat the watch in its natural
state. He might have choked on the
cog wheels.
About the sixth day J. Smith began
to complain that his appetite was fail
ing and to wonder if he hadn't better
take a tonic, and then Perky hunted up
this Office and we rented some furniture
and had the stock printed. He bought
a new suit OF clothes for J. Smith so he
would look little less like a tramp, and
charged It to Renewal of Plant, and by
the time things were ready for me to sit
down at my new, glossy oak typewriter
desk and address envelopes to the sucker
list we were so hard up that if Perky
had pawned anything else he would
have been arrested for going naked. But
l guess everything will be all right if
we can keep J. Smith from trading his
stock for cheese sandwiches and run
ming down the market price per share.
When the hungry look comes into J.
Smiths eyes he would trade bale of
United States bonds for three-cornered
piece OF apple pie. l have had to stop
chewing gum, it makes him so jealous
to see me working my jaws when he
isn't working his.
Perky says the money will begin COM
ing in by the wagon load as soon as J.
Smith gets the ready-beaten egg per
fected. 1t isn't quite perfected yet, be-
cause J. Smith was so hungry all the
while he was inventing it that just be-
fore success crowned his efforts, each
time. he would eat the egg, and then he
would have to start all over again But
it is a great idea, and if we can just keep
J. Smith fed up enough so he will have
a deadened appetite and not eat the ex-
The Washington herald., 1914-07-12
By OSBORN MARSHALL

In spite OF the fact that Mr.. Summer
son made nothing from this first con-
tract, it was well worth while, for it
gave him a chance to show ;lst what a
big-game contractor was.
The Washington herald., 1914-07-12

paid only the actual expenses of the
trip-the expenses as Mr.. Summerson
estimated them. If he had planned the
trip himself it would have cost him
more.
Evening star., 1914-12-09
LONDON PAPERS VIEWS
OF WILSON'S MESSAGE
Express Believes U. S. Desire to Act
as Peacemaker in Europe Causes
Excessive Neutrality.

LONDON, December 9.-The morning
newspapers comment freely Oh Presi-
dent Wilson's message to Congress
The Daily News declares the Presi-
dent's declaration that it would be
heavy loss TO the world if America
We're to lose her reputation as a friend
of all nations will be shared by every
far-thinkins man in this country
The Daily Express takes exception to
Mr.. Wilson's statement that America is
the true friend of all nations declar-
ing that she cannot be the friend of
both Germany and Belgium while the
American people have Il hatred for the
horrors and wrongs of the latter as
strong as Enaland's. 1t says also that
it is evident that the desire of the
United States to act as peacemak ker
has led to excessive neutrality.
The Daily Mail in a review of the
MESA ge concludes with the statement
that the success of the ambition of the
United States to act as peacemaker viii
depend very much on the choice of the
proper moment and the proper in,stru-
ment.
Evening star., 1914-12-09

the terms and conditions of old Spanish
municipal and other grants. which were
affirmed or came uncontestedly into effect
under the Anglo-American occupation
An interesting legal situation once existed
in connection with the water front of the
city of San Francisco. Under the civil
law beach and water rights are more
clearly in the sovereign than under the
English practice and the considerable ex-
tension of the water front of San Fran
cisco into the bay created a valuable
property, the title to which was claimed
by the state and which formed the subject
of extensive litigation
provision in the constitution of Texas
requires the legislature to provide heavy
penalties for the forgery of land titles.
and this resulted from series of indict-
ments common to all lands dependent on
Spanish grants. The nature of Spanish
documentary evidence offered temptations
to unscrupulous or desperate claimants
during the clearing of title in Texas and
California and it required a high degree
OF skill and long and patient research
to discredit some of the manufactured
patents offered for confirmation.
Evening star., 1914-12-09
Scalp Trouble
Like Dandruff
Came in White Blisters. Hard and
Scaly. All of Hair Came Out.
Used Cuticura Soap and Cuti-
cura Ointment. Head Well.

Carthage. Texas.-"My little girl had some kind
OF breaking out on her head that came in white
blisters and when the blisters burst they formed
something like scales. II washed her head and
combed the scales of they would come again in
Just few days The trouble looked something
like dandrun. but was hard and scaly, and when
the scales would come of all the hair came .Iso
and would leave the head raw.
Il had tried salves, which only softened the
scales. so 1 decided TO use Cuticura Soap and
ointment l washed her head with warm water
and Cuticura Soap and then applied the Cuticura
Ointment and let 1t remain over night. did not
do this but about four times before her head was
perfectly cured. 1 used only one box of Cuticura
Ointment and one bar of Cuticun Soap and her
head was WE'LL Gigncd, Mrs. Luella Bigxs.
Jan. Is, 1914.
Evening star., 1914-12-09
THE EVENING STORY.
Mr.. JORDAN.



Vida King entered the dining room
La little timidly. 1t was her first day
at Mrs. CoX's and she knew nobody.
She unfortunately was late to dinner
and all the rest of the boarders were
seated. There was plenty of light,
fresh cloth and napkins and every
thing smelled good. The women were
dressed up. and Vida felt that her
shirt waist was almost misdemeanor.
She was just wondering whether the
vacant place at the table was hers
when the swing door leading into the
kitchen opened and Mrs. Cox trotted
in. flushed, plea SAINT. and bringing an
atmosphere of roast mca; and vege-
tables.
Here you are" she exclaimed Her
smile seemed to enfold Vida with hos
my dear This is your place. And
now I'll introduce you to my little
! family I'll begin down at that cor
ner-Miss Thompkins. Miss King.
Vida made her bow to each. So
many new faces and names confused
her. She sank into her seat feeling
that she would never be able to fit
the right name to the right person
Then she became aware that the man
at her left was passing her the
him addressed as Mr. Jordan. II can
remember that, she thought Mr. Jor-
dan seemed to clear spot in her be
wildered consciousness. she could call
him, by name and be sure she was
right.
After dinner the boarders fluttered
away in quest of their own pleasures.
Two or three went to the moving
picture show. two or three more de-
clared in favor of cards, and the
Thompkins girl opened the piano and
began to sing.
Vida stole up to her room. The gas
was already lit. She had nothing new
TO read and nothing 10 do, so she sat
listening to the sounds below. the
laughter at the card table. the rat
tlng of dishes in the dining room
and the strains of sympathy" quite
sweetly sung.
She was very tired and a little eX-
cited A week before she had not
dreamed of such a change as had come
to her. She had been earning SO a
week at McPherson's. and working
hard for it, too. One morning she re-
ceived order to take Miss Mullen's
place. Miss Mullen received s1c
week. but she was giving it up to be
married Such foolish thing to do.
Vida had thought in her bewildered
new Joy. Twelve dollars a week. Why,
that meant that she need live no long
Evening star., 1914-12-09

Airs Leonard Hoffman. Mrs Maufe
Howell Smith. Mrs. Clarence barnH'h
Mrs Bates Warren. Mrs MaEnus -
Thompson, Mrs. George \ 'oN t''''r
Mrs Mccarthy Hanger. Mrs. Th"odrI
Tiller, Mrs. John : Stearus. MlsS ~
Hudson Miss Mamie r. HEN. MISS
Italy Carter Miss fansY W ilsoii. ~
Margaret Trimble, Miss Mildf'h i''"-
don Miss Frances saunders,
Helen Netherlands Miss MARY 800 %
Miss Dorothy pcnhani. Miss Nell'"
Howard Miss Grace v ft'd And ~
Katherine Bowie. Mrs, EuEcnl' h''
Inns Mrs " \ MaNnc. Mrs f""f = 20
Morgan. Mrs jefferson MiliSdp' "
Anna Jackson Knock, Mrs. Lillian T. -
Roome and Mrs. John Hickey were 'N"
chaperons.