Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-06-07

ditch diggers so they might get sleepy,
and heavy-ndded persons who were moii-
ing like stone cutters so they might
wake up.
There is one fact believe the Observer,
that is irrefutable in golf. 1t is the most
serious game in the world. The score
is complicated enough to worry an ex-
pert accountant, but that is only one OF
the minor features which tend to make
the game solemn. There are all sorts
of penalties. 4
]. You scoue iii and out. ri Is something
like that song, He Had TO- Get iOaf@and
Get Under: When you are in you
you have to get fn-and you usually
do-in bad Long hits count for moth
ing. The doctor ha1ved the first hole
with Alfred because Alfred played a
little game of croquet all by himself
before he managed to land in the cup.
The Observer commented on this.
Wait" grunted Alfred, who was fix
ing little pile of sand, until We reach
the next flag. I know that ground bet
ter"
Il want to ask a question" stated the
Observer
The doctor mopped his brow.
What now" he asked, shortly
You halved that hole, didn't you?"
I'VE did,
And hole is nothing. isn't it?'
The doctors jaw dropped.
You had better keep out of the heat"
he urged.
But the Observer was not to be STOP
ped.
What I want to know" he said, "is
that if half of nothing is nothing
how can you ever make a scorer"
The doctor took on an unnerving. pro-
fessional look. and the Observer de-
parted. following Alfred. who was jog
ging down the little hillside.
When they had travelled a couple oil
hundred of miles in the broiling sun the
Observer felt his interest weakening
Everybody was in deadly earnest AND
they seemed to be decidedly grouchy
There was an old and feeble man whose
ball had landed in little pile of sand
And he was burrowing like rat terriel
trying to get it out and knock it up the
side of little embankment. Every tim.
he hit at it he drove it deeper in the sand
This was manifestly futile. The thine
to do was to pick the ball up. The OBJ
server went to the aged gentleman. who's.
white mustache was curling ferociousl,
and whose face was the color of a man
haitian cocktail.
Can assist you?" asked the Observer
politely.
The aged gentleman stopped burrowin:
Tor a minute. and, Strengthening himself
stared gloomily.
.-Huh?' he said.
You SEEM" pointed out the Observer
ito be trying to find something. If 70,
want another golf ball l will cheerful,
lend you one. Or if
The elderly gentleman still stared. Int
his voice came note of chilling hos
tlity.
Are you under the impression, sub.
he asked codly. that a bunkered ball il
subject for il-timed levity?"
..Levity,' calculated the Observer. wei
should say not / never saw anything
| more intensely real and serious in m!
life"
II have, suh,' continued the elderl.
,, gentleman. wasted five shots heah. NJ.
patience is nearly gone. Please do no
tax me-
You could see he was in earnest. Ant
who shall seek to dissuade the man wh'
| is bent on his own folly? The Observe
walked on, discouraged. The last he saw
of the elderly gentleman he was still try
| ing to dig the foundations from unde
that sand pile. and seemed to be succeed
| ing fairly well
| Right there maxim number two strucl
! the Observer.
4 II ls-lNCNCi hCip n SJlltI III uStTeSS-
| Psychologists explain that a golfer al
ways cherishes in his inner soul the un
| dying belief that some day he can bea
| Col Henry w. Bogie. who is the creates
| of all golfers. And when you go to hin
with offers of assistance he accepts you
offers as indications of your belief tina
| he is not in Col. Bogie's class. This irri
| tatts him.
| It is something's he sees it-like of
| fering a grown man a base ball bat t
| fight child with.
| By this time the Observer had fallel
| well behind the doctor and Alfred. Mend
| ing his pace he sped by a number o
| earnest workers. There was high Dis
| trict official and a newspapernan. tn
| latter being the biggest man, physically
! that Washington has ever seen. Thos
| two companions have been observed a
| base ball games. If Moeller fans witt
| two on bases they utter enough noise t
| make him believe he will soon be facini
/ a grand jury. Yet on the calm. quie
, golf links they putter and potter in aim