The Washington herald., 1914-06-21
OLD COLONEL BUNKER
When He and General Blum Talked of War

II had gone to small town in Mis-
sissippi to rest and recuperate. suh.'
said the colonel as he restored his glass
to the table-''to rest and recuperate
after my hard work In the State Senate.
hadn't been there a day when j met
up with a pusson who called himself
Gen Blum. He didn't have the look
of general. sub, but I didn't start In
asking questions. l accepted his word
that he had been a general-accepted his
word as a gentleman does, and he in
vtted me into the nearest barroom TO
imbibe a cocktail. We didn't imbibe.
When the general called for drinks for
two, his order was not taken In other
words, sub. as he didn't put down his
money the cocktails remained unmixed.
The general looked at me appealingly.
but turned away. / could not hurt his
feelings by offering TO pay for the drinks.
Had Gen. Blum stopped there all
would have been we'll but he did not
stop. Next day he called on me TO talk
over the late wah. II wasn't ten min
utes, sub. before I began to doubt him.
I found that he didn't know the differ
ence between a charge OF cavalry and q
drove Of nevis. When he had related
how he led his division at Gettysburg.
dashed forward at Spottsylvania. and re-
ceived three wounds at Petersburg, !
rose up-I rose up to my full height.
suh-and. looking him straight between
the eyes. I said:
Gen. Blum. yo' will excuse me, sub.
but where can l hnd you'h wah record !?
Nowhere he replied. They were 50
Jealous Of me that IL has never been
written upl'
1--WE had a few other words, sub. and
felt that Il was due to my dignity to
challenge him He received the chal-
lense coolIy and sent his friend to ar
range mattera
Claiming to be a soldier and a gentle
man. he selected pickaxes as weapons.
Think OF IL. suh-think OF a gentleman
taking such q course! I refused, Of co'se.
Then he turned to plantation hoes, TO
cotton hooks. 10 ball clubs. and to long
handled shovels. II was my duty under
the circumstances to preserve my dignity.
and IL has gone down in history that 1
preserved II. I insisted that we fight
with sword or pistol. and / refused to
dignity him by debating his proposals.
Then Gen. Blum himself called to see
me. He found me frigid and determined.
Col. Bunker, says he. 'yo' have doubted
my veracity, and ! desire to shed yo'
blood. / desire to shed IL by the quart
and the gallon! II yo' are not q coward.
yo' will meet me at sunrise across the
nver-across the river. sub! As the
challenged party have the choice of
weapons will name scythes. suh-
scythes-at two PAGES! The scythe IL an
emblem Of time. Col Bunker, and it was
with a scythe moved down scores Of
the enemy at Appomattox'
i stood on my dignity. suh-stood on
my dignity and rejected the weapons
No gentleman had ever fought a duel
with a scythe IN his hands. II would
degrade the code-degrade the code, sub,
and make me a public laughing stock I
stormed at the man. sub. / begged and
entreated and even sought to bribe him
toe meet me with pistols or swords. But
he was hrm. He was settled on scythes
and would not bulge. I bowed him out
and appealed to the public An on my
honah, sub, on the honah Of the man
who led . desperate charge at Cedar
Mountain. the public agreed with Gen.
Blum Yes. sub. the public contended
that IL was my duty as a gentleman 10
engage in a duel with scythes. I brought
forward the code for 300 years past but
1t made no difference.
"A duel with scythes, suh-a meeting
on the field of honah with farming
implements! No gentleman's dignity
would permit Il. I argued and pro-
tested and disputed. but Gen. Blum
and the public were firm. In stand
ing to my guns l lost prestige At
the end Of three days scarcely a man
in town would nod to me, and the
were asking IL Col Bunk
sr was afraid. 1t was then. sub, and
only then. that / resolved to fght the
general with his own weapons. Il