Evening star., 1914-02-08

1n7erica TO III riIs coort IL Poosylanya
10 less. He is that He won tn appint-
r.ient on his merits. fr he's III best tango
lancer west IL Halsted sthreet an he
~as thryin' To get a seat in tn ligisla
hure away firm OBrien's son-in-law-
rlarrirl' an income firm father, there's no
-u-er path TO . diplomatic career thin 10
want a good job at home that somebody
Else is holdin'. It's sthrange how often
vauItin' ambition fr an infeeTyor office
NiiI land a man in something betther.
anst knew iv fellow that got to be
5icretv iv the navy because he wanted
10 he "a congressman firm Matsachoo-
setts
Who's tn ambassador says ye. Why.
cur frind Pickles Schwartzkop, that hard
cled old dirn1nycrat who refused TO wear
q necktie because he said it was a badge
y sarvichood. Nanny people used to call
Pickles q arnychist because he spoke so
harsh about tn crowned heads iv Europe
An no wan iver thought iv him liver
Dowin' his head in rile coort. although
Les a great expert at sourin' III cucum-
her an his name Is Il household wurrud
wheriver ketchup is used. But he niver
knew nawthin' about pollyticks an he
nachrally become an original Wilson
man
tn family had him watched FIR other
signs " insanity up to tn time iv tn
convintion, an thin tn docks stopped
holdin' light to his eyes an testin' his
knee jerk, an he become a great states
man. an aven O Brien wint around TO see
him. Afther tn iliction Dock Wilson
sint f'r him au' said it was his desire to
he'd been readin' SchWartzkops adver-
tisin' matter an admired it gr-reatIy an
wud ike him to pick out place FIR him
silf abroad. Pickles was modest an on'y
asst to be minister to Germany, but whin
it was pinted out to him that tn German
irnpror had socyal objections to attn at
tn same table with his former subjicks
he consinted 10 be hitched to the vacant
post at Poosylanya, an there he is now.
upholdin' tn honor iv tn flag. while
Tommy Slavin keeps alive tn best thra-
dItions " our thurkey throt.
Annyhow. here's the letter: Carey
Miguel (which names Dear Mike'): Me
an his ixcillincy arrived here safe las
week. Poosylauya is not as large a
country as O'Brien riprisinted it to me-
To tell tn thruth, it's that small that
II tn inJyneer iv tn thrain hadn't put
on tn emergency brakes at tn borders
We wudve gone through it befure We cud
stop.
Th' principal Industries are market
sardenin, brewin', tn ARMY, I'll gov
ernmint. an tn tailor who makes tn
UNIFORMS It's what is known over here
as buffer state, because it is placed
between two great powers that are al
ways threatenin' TO clinch. Nachrally
it's been squeezed down ontil now whin
they put it in d map they have to use a
tattooln' needle
'Th monarch il this domain, which
stretches far as tn eye can see. is
his majesty King Charleymange tn
FortE-fftu. a splendid figure iv a man
fneasurin' at Taste five be wan He's tn
last iy his race. an whin he kicks out IN
peopel will have to go shoppin FIR king
in Denmark. where they have "A hand me
down store fr monarchs that amy coun
thry can go to an get fitted fr an an
ointed ruler. There was some opposition
10 him whln he come in on tn ground
that he had niyer been able to larn to
spell an was given TO tfIrowin' fits in
public, but him ben' tn on'y miniber iv
IN rile family thin at large they had to
take him.
An there he sets, presidin' over TIL
Gestinies iv this proud people an support
cd be socyalistic parlymint that abso-
atfly docs his bidding afther il has told