The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-08-30
HOW THINGS WERE DONE THEN" AND NOW EX- PRESSED IN PITHY EPIGRAM. SATIRE ON THE LUXURY OF LOVE
Fly CHARLES W. GREER

<<N/ES." remarked the old timer,
 as he settled himself back in
 comfortable wicker chair and applied a match first to the seat of his trousers and then to an old fash toned corncob pipe, ives, everybody's cussin' the high cost of living. Some blame it on the war and others takes it out on the trusts and food pirates. Everybodys yelling for investigations of general conditions, but nobody seems willing to investigate themselves.
 Investigations, he continued as a whimsical smile lit up his quaint old face and he blew wreathes of smoke at the interviewer-"are all right but in my opinion, like charity. they should begin at home. Just as soon as we come to see that there's a big differ ence between what we need and what we want we find out that we've been lhlmbugging ourselves and blaming conditions on generalities; and just as | s, on as we learn that there's diff ference between the high cost of living and the cost of high living, we'll re- vive hope in the simple life and be- gin to live within our incomes and not on our credits"
 Comment in Epigram The old timer once warmed to his sdbJect continued in an unbroken s sream of oral philosophy.
 "Why, he exclaimed, knocking the ashes from his pipe on the versndah post and leaning earnestly toward the interviewer "30 years ago we were content to live according to our pocket tn our rich neighbor.
 Thirty years ago the only watch in the family belonged to father, while mother and the boys were content to tell the time by the family clock. Now every member of the family must have an individual tmepiece at a cost of $50 and wear it with a sl5 gold chain.
 Tn the olden days mother made up three or four shirts day, put collars on them and gave them to the eldest son and let them go down the line. Now every youth must effect a silk shirt which he wears on an average of two weeks and puts on standing collar.
 "Once we sent our collars to the wash erwoman and wore wash ties. Now we rave them cleaned by the steam laundry at cents each and wear fancy tango cravats set off with golden tie clasps and flashy scarf pins.
 InlTLy years dSo we were COHlelt Wltu old-fashioned wooden socks and changed them twice a week. Now we encase out tootsies in silken footwear, change twice day and toss them away before the first hole appears.
 Old-FashiOn Courtship
 "Once no one was adverse to going to see his girl in pair of brooches made out of fathers old ones and with a good healthy patch protecting the thin places. Now all of us are uncomfortable unless We have tailor-made clothes with fancy cuffs and buttons, and our initials over the inside pocket.
 Thirty years ago father got up at $ o'clock in the morning, watered and fed the stock, milked the cows, brought in the stove wood and helped mother with breakfast while the boys got good start in the cotton field before sun up. Now father Is awakened at by his man servant, is served at breakfast by maid servant, and waits out on the front porch until the chauffeur brings out the auto mobile. Then he wakes up the boys.
 Tn the olden days father read the local paper once a week while he sat in wooden chair and smoked a corncob pipe