The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-01-18
tango DOOMED
DEARLY Death
New York Society Passes
Sentence Of Execution
on Dance.
LOOKS FOR SUBSTITUTE
Thefh of Chunks Of Radium Not
Likely to Become Numerous Among
Light-6nsered Gentry.
BY GOTHAM kNICkERBockER.


New York, Jan. III see a terrible out
rage brewing in the distance. The plot
tiers are at work. The innocent tango
must be Slaughtered. After entertaining
society for many moons, its hosts are
about to turn and rend it limb from
limb.
Ever-body's doing it."
That's the reason the Fifth avenue
leaders are to use the knife.
You see this is game which the So
ciety leaders have played for years. They
cut their coats short and six months later
the hoi polloi has followed suit Then there
Is a great hurry and hustle in the upper
realms to get new coats. cut long, Any
body with one of the short coats is out
of il. Six months go by. The common
herd has walked up to the fact that
the style has changed" Long coats
begin to appear on l25th and Fourteenth
streets. There is again confusion and
turmoil among the leaders. Again they
cut their coats short, but in a little diff
ferent snaps from the short coats above
referred to. Six months later-but what
the use? You all know the system.
So this is the way the tango is going.
1t started with some London bishops,
peevish because few came TO listen to
their dry discourses. The curious Queen
of England, who sets herself up as a
model of everything, also disapproved
and set sour visage askance. German
royalty found the steps TO be not for
fat persons. European society circles
slavishily bowed.
But let me tell you as one who knows
his little old New York. that II was none
of these which caused the sentence Of
execution on Miss Tango hereabouts. So
ciety found itself doing no more than
was being dcne in Squashtown, Sullivan
County, and stood aghast. 1t is still
standing. gasping, an looking arouno
for a substitute. This substitute will soon
be found and then good night, Miss
Tango"
No Radium Thief Trust.
The theft Of tiny disk of radium from
a hospital here almost simultaneously
with the pu-Ioining of a similar valuable
speck of smear in Chicago naturally
would Leaf one versed in the ways OF the
underwood TO surmise the formation Of
a radium thief trust.
There are organizations of crooks who
make a speciality of stealing automobiles
in the street, dressing them up, and SELL
ing them in other cities; there are CLOTH
ing thief -eagues, there are dog thieves
and chicken thieves, fraternities Of post
Office yeggs and clubs of pickpockets. So
why not radium thieves?
All the radium thieves need is a catchy
name like white handler" or 'cank
flend" to be admitted to our best circles
of chronology.
Ny idea of what not TO steal is a nice
little chunk of radium-say enough al
most to choke a ladybug If she tried TO
swallow it, about $4,000 worth.
After sneaking into that awesCme place,
a hospital for special diseases, and
swiping it out of the side of some poor
devil of a cancer patients face, the thief
would like as not put his find in his
inside coat pocket and start to stroll
along Broadway from Forty-second to
Thirty-fourth street, where more full
fedged criminals are on view any sun
shiny afternoon than in any similar
stretch of the civilized world. He would
read in the afternoon papers of the mys-
FERROUS theft of $4,000 worth of radium
and chuckle. But when night fell that
section of his clothing near the tube Of
radium would glow as though possessed
by the devil. The first policeman he
passed would grab him by the coat COL
lar. And supposing he had time to slip
the tube out of his pockets. his coat
would go on glowing with a white light
just the same. He would be thrown into
Jail with slight chance of escaping. But
he should worry-the redium already
would have eaten into his flesh to such