El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-09-12
S5PY
SYSTEM PROVES
UTTERFAILURE
Has Resulted in Empire Be
ing Grossly Misled as
to Actual Conditions.
INSTRUMENTATION is
COSTLY TO KAISER
BY HERBERT TEMPLE.

= ONDON, Eng, Sept 12.-Undoubt-
edly there are thousands of regu-
- lar German secret service men, or
spies" in Great Britain today, but
/ their efforts are Of negligible effect be-
! cause they are cut off from communi-
{ cation with their Berlin chiefs. There
have been a few instances where IA
natics have shot at sentries or cut tel
! egraph wires. and these have been Sc
verely dealt with. but in general Eng
! lishmen can afford to smile at the
( dreaded spy system
If there are any people at the pres
ent moment toward whom Englishmen
should feel a sense Of profound graf
| itude. il is the German spies said one
Of the heads of England's own secret
service. He continued:
Germany Greatly Misied-
Every day now produces evidence
that Germany is the most hopelessly
misled country in the world Yet she
has the largest army Of spies in the
world Who has misled herr Her spy
army.
The whole Of the campaign Up to
the moment has been based upon mis-
. calculations, and these in turn have
been based upon information supplied
4 by the wonderful spies she has for
years past poured into England Rus
STA, France and Belgium
To all these countries the German
spies have rendered incalculable SER
vice by supplying false information to
their own government
The spies, OF course, acted in good
faith TO Germany, but they have con-
sistently misjudSed facts. events, ma
tional character and everything else
they were sent to determine and dis
cover
AS a matter Of fact. a German SPY
is probably the most foolish person on
earth. He works hard at spying, but
he is innately stupid.
Recruited From Lower Classes
The majority Of the great German
spy army has not been drawn from the
most intelligent classes Huge num-
bers of them in England have been
employed as walters.
For years these simple minded spies
have listened intently TO the converse
tons Of their customers That was
their method Of spying.
AS a consequence, grave reports OF
conversations of foolish, irresponsible,
sometimes drunken and flighty English
people have been sedulOusly dispatched
10 Berlin and there docketed in secret
places with much ceremony
Handsome young spies with gen
erous allowance Of pocket money have
been deputed by the spy authorities TO
make Overtures TO the servant girls
employed in the households of cabi-
net ministers, and other eminent poll
ticians. apparently under the impress
sion that the diplomatic and political
secrets Of England are gravely dis
cussed between the statesmen OF this
country and their pantry girls
a pleasant feature Of this Germanic
stupidity is the fact that many Of the
young women selected to be the uncon-
scious victims Of the handsome spies
ingratiating advances have been very
lavishly entertained while receiving
many relatively expensive presents
IF our kitchen girls get diamond
earrings for whispering into the ears
of their followers the priceless infor-
nation that a cabinet minister shaves
with cold water or takes three Jumps OF
sugar in his tea, no one is penny the
worse.
Samples Of MiSinformatiOn.
Just think for a moment Of a few
things that the dreadful German spies
have reported to their government
They told Berlin in the first place
that a Liberal government would new
er 60 to war on any preteXt Wn9teVer.
''They also said that If war broke OUT
Ulster and the NatiOnalists in ireland
would Immediately fly at each others
Threats.
The. further reported that the Bel
gfan troops would lay down their arms
and run awav at the sight Of the first
Prussian soldier
''The French army boots. they OBJ
served. would not stand a two days
campaign
T ludAAEs the hAAD4t VI N44HAA se@A~--eN
tons as to the Russian mobilization
were hopelessly wrong.
Brave spiesi What a debt OF graf
itude we all owe these valiant and Iar-
seeing men
''Truculent fanatics will, Of course,
be shot. but for nay part if could col
Iect a good company Of German spies
together, I should offer them a first
class banquet as a mark Of my graft
tude for the signal service which their
has performed for England