Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1914-07-12
"A Bit O. Nonsense

IL Dill NUllS6llS6
! Probably Not.-'''They say those
Mexican poems are absolutely uset
less. !, ,5
"Yes; l don't believe they're worth
the paper they're printed on."-Bu..
falo Express.
Division Of Labor. City Boarder-
II suppose you hatch all these chick
ems yourself?"
Farmer-:'.No; we've got hens here
for that purpose."-Judse.
Close.-aAn' you were at MacDou-
gals last night-what kind O. man
Is he?"
"Leebral wi his whisky-but the
quality o. it's that indeefrent I vera
near left some!"-Boston Transcript.
Informing Him.-7She-" III you in
sist upon knowing, there are two dea-
sons why l can't marry you"
He-"And they are?"
She-"Yourself and another man"
Judge,
The Idea.-The Caddie Master ito
a green-keeper, who has had a mis-
hap with a load Of mold)-" ERE,
stow that lang widge. Wot dyer
mean by it-be'avin' yerself as II yer
was Q full blown member of the
club?"-Sketch.
Spare the Rod.-Li4tle Clarence
PA, that man going yonder can't
hear 1t thunder D
Mr.. Callipers-"1s he deaf?"
Little Clarenc No, sir; 1t isn't
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Register.
Willis-Tm gathering a regiment
for service in this war that will make
them all sit up and take notice."
Gillis-"Good men, eh?"
Willis-''Regular blood-curdlers. II
is composed entirely of men who
have been stung on Mexican mining
schemes."-Puck.
catty.-Gladys-Jack really has a
soft spot in his heart for ne.
Muriel-"H0w do you know"
Gladys-"He says he is always
thinking Of me-" II !,
Muriel-"W'hy, a man doesn't think
with his heart. The soft spot must
be in his ead."--Jndge.
Well Grazed.-R obbie's grandlath.
er was a veteran of the Civil war,
and In talking to his little grandson
about the battles he said: Nearly
a generation and a half ago, Robbie,
my head was grazed by a bullet in
the battle of Chickamauga.
Robbie looked at the bald pate of
his grandsire attentively and said:
mot much grazing there now, Is
there?"-Pittsburg Chronicle-T ele.
graph.
Il Worked.-A young lady took
down the receiver and discovered
that the telephone was In use. =
Just put on a pan Of beans for din
ner," she heard one woman c0mpla-
Gently informing another.
She hung up the receiver, and
waited. Three times she waited, and
then, exasperated, she broke into the
conversation. !.
Madam, l smell your beans burn
ing" she announced crisply. A h0r-
rified scream greeted the remark,
and the young lady was able to put
in her call.--Christian Endeavot
) World.
"He inherited his money! "How
uninteresting, when SO many men
are getting rich criminally nova
days."-Detroit Free Press.
She thought her sisters young man
J had gone, SO she called down over
the bannister, SWELL, Bess, did you
land ,him?' "She did," called back q
deep masculine voice.-Boston Tran
script.
Friend Tin London art gallery
$50 they skied your picture. old top?"
Painter-"Fortunately! They evident
ly recognized its value, and hung !;
beyond reach of the slashing mill.
tants, y'kn0w."-Puck.
Our minister" said Mrs. Oldcastle,
appears to he a real ~altrufst."' "Oh,
l think you must he mistaken" re.
piled Mrs. Gottalotte. ut seems to
me by the sound of his voice that he
! must me a bass.'-Judge.
MRS. Gaybird (from the stern Of
the canoe)-"Your mother has recog.
nized us and looks annoyed" "Non-
sense! She knows I'd never lose you
overheard that's exactly what /
gather from her expression. Life.
IA fat man is always good natuf-
ed" said Mr.. Dolan. "He only seems
So" replied Mr.. Rafferty,. HE has
to go easy in an argument with .
friend because he knows he's not IN
condition to see it through to q fin
ish.'-Washington Star.
"'Why don't you try to look more
neat?' "Tm economizin'," replied
Plodding Pete. Il jes heard shout
de money q railroad kin save by not
washin,' de car windows. Jes imag.
line de expense dis nation could cut
out by i~boycottin' soap!"-Washing-
ton Star.