The Lamar register., 1914-06-24

They did not lick us then, my dears,
AS far as anybody knows,
But quit the battlefield in tears
And sometimes bleeding at the nose.
G.. Washington alone made six
Or seven goals, and Lafayette!
Great Caesars ghost, what telling
licks
He gave them in the final set!
We laid them out day after day
Until so many of them died
They threw their billycocks away
An scooted for the other side.
Your income tax must be paid by
July 1. Failing that, you will be sold
for taxes and will be held by the buy
er until redeemed. If you get your
self in this fix, don't count too much
upon your wife. She may redeem you
and she may not. She may redeem you
wife's name that may be help, but
don't be too sanguine. The average
woman is much more interested these
days in reading her title clear to
equal rights than in anything she
has been in the habit of having
around. Trust to your instinct as a
man, and have your income tax paid.
The women are nice people, but they
are the women.
On the morning of July the sun
and Sirius, the dog star, will rise to-
Sc, LA IA
and the dog days will set in. In anc-
lent Egypt the dog star was credited
with the floods of the Nile, which
came at this season of the year and
gave the Egyptians their crops. The
dog was worshipped as the god Isis,
and many beautiful temples were
built for it. The dog days originated
with the Romans, who attributed an
evil influence to the dog star and OBJ
jected to the theology Of the Egypt
ians as it pertained to this matter.
Like all theological disputes this one
became very bitter. Caesar suffered
with the heat of the dog days until
he took his army into Egypt, reduc-
ing that ancient empire to the wreck
of its former glory which it remains
today. The dog was taken out of the
temple and put in the dog house,
where it remains. Science has subse-
quently discovered that Sirius affect
ed neither the floods in the Nile nor
the heat in Rome. Both sides were
wrong, as usually proves to have been
the case in a theological dispute. The
dog star will continue to rise with
the sun every morning until August
IL, when the dog days will end.
On July we will celebrate the an
niversary of our independence by
shooting off the ammunition we had
left after the British surrendered.
Some of this powder is little old and
damp, but it will all go off if one will
wait long enough. The accidents
which happen on the Fourth are al
most all due to lack of confidence in
it on the part of people who insist on
going back to see if it hasn't gone off.
The same thing happened TO tie
British during the Revolution They
were blown up a dozen different times
and finally retired permanently.
On July 8 Mr.. Rockefeller will be
rs years old, and gasoline will 90 up
a cent. Mr.. Rockefeller always makes
his own presents. July Is will be
st. Swithin's day. According to the
tradition, if it rains on st. Swith;n's
day it will rain for the next 40 days.
1t won't rain. We don't have ~ days
rain in 25 years in this country any
more. The democrats don't know how
to make rain.
For the first 81 days in the month
July will be under the influence of
Cancer the Grab, the fourth sign of
the zodiac. People born under this
sign never let go, once they get hold.
Mr.. Rockefeller, who was born under
it, is an example. The last ten days
of the month will be influenced by
Leo the Lion, the fifth sign of the
zodiac. Persons born under this sign
are very brave. They won't say that
Roosevelt discovered the River of
Doubt unless they think so. The moon
will be full on the 7th.
Thep Aupust will return a SPACE