davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1914-10-25
New War Invention

Gentlemen" said the oldish man with
a cast in his left eye. II am on my way
TO Washington to see the Secretary OF
War. and may I ask how to proceed to
get an interview with him? I hear that
one must sometimes wait a whole week
to be admitted to his presence"
N'An you have to do is to call and send
your card in" replied the man with red
whiskers. who seemed to have had expe-
rience. Going to see the Secretary. eh?''
Yes"
About war;
That's it I've got an invention which
Is bound to knock EN- all colder'n a
fur six months, and Jest got II down fine
With my invention ten soldiers kin lick
Must be a rife which shoots fifty
No sir. it's no rife at all. Ever see
what they call a bicycle?''
Two or three, I believe"
My SON. Jim, has got one. S and II the A"ES; %Sy
he does whiZz around the kentry beats
the old mares best pace all holler I've
seen him go down a hill at the rate OF
a mile a minnit. 1t was his goin' down
hill so fast that gimme my idea one
plump into her"
asked the hardware drummer.
what becum of the COW. you mean"
answered the cid man. Jim was all
right, but the way that COW went sky
high and was knocked into the middle of
next week made my hair stand up and
bring out this invention. Dye catch
the idea7'
Hardly"
Easy as rollIn' on log. War is de-
clared. The enemy lands TO ravage the
kentry; They cum to the foot Of a long
steep hill and halt to take a rest. We
have ten, fifteen or twenty men on BIZ
cycles on top of the hill Each bike has
rider has a revolver in either hand. See
the pint now?"
II think I do
The gineral in command of the bikerS
shouts: Go fur EN- and the fellers
start with a yell. Down they go at
lightnin' speed and lances astabbin' and
Jabbin' and the pistols a-shootin'; and
dyin' and sich as ain't hurt ar runnin'
away so fast that you kin play check
ers on thar coattails- We win victory
after victory, peace IS declared. and men
Jim ar the Biggest toads in the puddle.
Got any fault to find with my gait?''
Not a Bit" replied the red-whiskered
man Say. old chap, you've hit II plumb
Secretary and put II right 20 him..
you bet l will! That's what I'm goln'
to Washington fur. II he retuses-
But ne won't"
wal IL he does. dye know what III
do? I'll turn around and sell the hull
burned idea TO Canady. and she'll uss
II and lex US out Of our butes inside
a month. Yes, sir. and my son Jim viii
head the bikers, and I'll be right on top
of the hill to give him a push and holler
fur him to go in and destroy thousand-
men,
The Washington herald., 1914-10-25
BOWSER TAKES IN RACES
He Is Let In On Sure Thing and Sports Little

Bowser and his friend were quiet and
bland and ccmplacent. They smiled Al
each other as the horses came out They
pSksd each other IN the sa RIBS wSsS Sf seVeIs tSs
horses finally got on. the two stood up
and clapped each other on the back and
hufrahed their loudest. The horse which
not the 90 to /; neither was the second,
nor the third, nor the fourth When
nine horses had galloped in, their
tip, was stiiI lingering down at the turn turn
over which he had no control;
Mr.. Bowser had lost S10o. He was
stunned for a moment Then ne began
clared that IT was skin game. He was
given about a minute. and then the po-
lice got hold OF him. Under such circum-
stances they hustle a man. Mr.. Bowser
collar and necktie pulled on, and his
coat ripped and, as he reached the gate
he was given a Highland Ming that rolled
him through the burdocks into a ditch; II
home. He had walked five miles In order
TO have room to swear. He had left the
house an old sport in his Sunday clothes
He returned to II a dilapidated victim Of
misplaced confidence The cat and Mrs.
Bowser were in the hall to welcome him,
but he desired no welcome. He locked at
the cat in a way TO make her legs wabble.
and he looked at Mrs. Bowser as an In
dian with a scalping-knlfe regards his
victim.
well, you are home" she finally said
''Yes-I-am-homer he slowly and
huskily replied. ncdding his head at ev-
cry word.
"And you'n have dinner7"
No answer.
ITS waiting"
No answer.
"Ddd you fall on the car coming home?"
ing "Cp-go up" shouted Mr.. Bowser.
as pointed up the stairs.
Mrs. Bowser and the cat. ascended.
Then they heard him pick up the hall tree
and slam Il down, breaking two umbrel-
las by pounding on the wall. and after
The Washington herald., 1914-10-25

trouble" I replied but II was q
married man / wouldn't send bouquets to
room No. 52. One went there this morn
ing"
"Ahl Got to sending bouquets, has he!
I haven't had 2 shillings' worth Of how-
ers in the last five years, but he can
send bouquets to typewritersi Wen, we'll
see about it. Room 50. Ell? Land me at
that floor"
But you won't give me away, ua'am7''
] asked.
'of course not You've done me .
great favor, and I'm much obliged to
you and won't bring you into it think
I have a little surprise on hand for
James HopeweTl"'
She also had one for somebody else.
She walked into room 50, and the bou-
quet was on q table and the stenographer
was at work. The bouquet went sailing
across the room from a blow of the fat
woman's parasol, and then she stood
before the surprised stenographer and
told her what was what. The row last
ed ten minutes, and they had to threaten
her with the police before she would go
out She went from 50 TO a. and what
happened there no one could tell The
brick man happened TO be alone and
his wife locked the door on him and
sailed in. When she came out she went
by the other elevator. and the boy said
her hair was down. her hat broken and
her shirtwaist torn in three or four
places An hour later Mr.. HopeweI
asked IL wouldn't please be so kind as
to step up TO his office few minutes.
The Washington herald., 1914-10-25
ARIZONA KICKLETS
The Editor Prepares Hot and Fiery Issue

For the last two months numerous sub
scribers of the Kicker have been finding
fault with US because the editorials were
not red-hot enough TO please them. Our
editorial page this week was prepsrSd
with special reference 10 meet their COM
plants, and We trust the complainers
will be satisfied. The editorials take in
q wide range, and all are covered with
blood. We advise war with England,
snd a row with Spain, a racket with Ger
many. and the conquest Of Mexico. We
threaten rebellion in Arizona, advise Of
fee hunters who have got left 10 blow
I'D the White House with dynamite, and
demand the abolition Of the whisky tax
or a civil war which shall sweep The
fragments Of this republic into the sea.
BY the time we got through writing we
felt so blood-thirsty that We wanted to
go out and shoot three or four men, and
at this writing we are picking our teeth
with a bowie-knife and glaring with
murderous eye across the street at the
shanty of our esteemed contemporary.
We have done our level best tn please
the kickers, and the first one who shows
his head TO find any fault will find the
hand Of death reaching out for him.
4 few weeks ago We referred to James
Davidson, of Lone Jack, as a man who
would look well dangling at the end of
a rope, and wondered why the Vigilance
Committee OF that town hadn't taken
the same view Of the matter. 1t seems
that Mr.. Davidson is a sensitive man.
and instead Of getting out of the cOuntry
The Washington herald., 1914-10-25
THE DEVILS INN

Of his customers were a hard lot. and
during the four or five years the place
flourished It had q bad name. The an-
thoriiies had about determined to close
the inn up when 1t was suddenly aban-
doned by the owner. The most that
could be learned from the servants was
that a stranger came there one night
and had a long and confidential CONVEX
sation with the landlord. and next morn
ing both were missing. The place was
overhauled. but no traces Of murder were
found. The servants scattered. the doors
wers nailed up. and THE Holy Rest
was left to darkness and the bats. or
course It soon had the reputation Of be-
ing haunted, and after couple Of years
The Washington herald., 1914-10-25

II you have ever visited the city Of
zacetacas. Mexico. you have heard the
story OF The Devils Inn and been
mystihed over IT II you have not heard
the story by word Of mouth, you viii be
interested in It
On the highway to San Luis. about
four miles out Of zacetacas, are the
ruins Of the inn. They have been ruins
since 1854 For ten years previous to that
the inn was unoccupied and gradually
falling into decay. The name given 1t
when 1t was built and opened for busi-
ness was ''The Holy Rest" The name
had no peculiar significance II holy men
ever came that way they found the place
fun OF sinners The landlord and most
The Washington herald., 1914-10-25
TALES OF THE ORIENT
A Couple of Jolts for the Abound.

One day as the Akcund of Swat had
returned from a trip around town, during
which thousands of his subjects had
lCnelt TO do him homage, he called for
his grand secretary and said:
amt r.
You are. o Heaven-born!" was the re-
ply.
would YOU call me the biggest thing
on earth?"
Truly, but you are!"
While I'm around on this~earth there
can be no other boss, eh. Remshen?
The Washington herald., 1914-10-25

"All other things are but a fy on q
bullwheei compared TO your extra high
ness"
sheng' continued the Abound, after
ehuckling his satisfaction. ct am salts
ned that boss the earth. even 70 the
mountains and rivers thereof, but I'm not
exactly clear as to the sun, moon, and
stars. Don't they come under my rule
as well?"
"Dost not remember. o mighty ruler,
that Your title Is Abound the Mighty,
boss Of the earth and owner OF all the
planets above? Your humble slave as
suTss you that the sun. moon, and every
star win hustle TO DO your bidding"
The Washington herald., 1914-10-25

It was 50 unusual for Mr.. Bowser to re-
turn home at noon that Mrs Bowser met
him with considerable anxiety and asked
II any calamity had happened.
Not calamity, my dear" he blandly
replied. I've just come to ask IL you
The Washington herald., 1914-10-25

smashing the stand and jardiniere and
kicking the palm slSy-high he passed into
the back parlor and flung himself down
on the lounge. The old sport had been
beaten.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-01-24

are patiently awaiting a possible rush
of hogs 10 market in February. 80
point decline in products would be ex-
tensive.
Any sign of feeble wheat shipments
from Russia will also broaden wheat
Business cheer helps cotton to vast
iy improved undertone United States
export S.50O.00O bales Ger 1894,
equal to 1928. In cotton as in wheat
the reasons for serious decline have
faded.
The improved industrial ncte sweeps
through all business and al consump-
ton. Corn and oats should therefore
share in the late January resumption
of confidence. Position o. the corn in
weston has gained. Increased energy in
the way of rallyins power is denoted.
Cash corn is in soundest position in
three months.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-01-24
Publication Notice.

State of Illinois. County Of Rock Is
1and-ss-
Circuit Court of Rock Island county.
January term. A. D. 1912.
John c. Freese and Edmund Freese
for use of A G. Baker, VS.. Harry Gil.
more. In attachment.
Public noIIce is hereby given to the
said Harry Gilmore that writ of at
tachment Issued out of the Office of thu
clerk of the circuit court of Rock Is
land county, dated the 22nd day OF De-
cember, A d. 1913, at the suit Of the
said John c. Freese and Edmund Freese
for use of A. c. Baker. and against the
estate of the said Harry Gilmore, for
the sum of thirty-eight dollars. direct
ed to the sheriff of said Rock Island
county, which said writ has been re-
turned executed.
Now, therefore, unless you.. the said
Harry Gilmore, shall personally be and
appear before the said circuit court Of
Rock Island county, on the first day Of
the next term thereof. to be holden al
the court house, in the city of Rock
Island, in said county. on the first Mon
day of January, A. d. 1914, give special
bail and plead to the said plaintiffs
action, judgment will be entered against
you, and in favor of the said John c.
Freese and Edmund Freese, for use Of
A c. Baker. and. so much of the prop
erty attached as may be sufficient &c
satisfy the said Judgment and costs
will be sold to satisfy the same.
GEORGE w. GAMBLE. Clerk
Albert Huber, plaintiffs attorney
Dec. 22. A D. 1913.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-01-24
WEATHER CONDITIONS.

Yesterdays storm center has moved
from Iowa TO the Ohio valley and the
attendant precipitation area has COW
cred the territory from the Mississippi
valley 10 the Atlantic coast. Heavy
rain is reported from Charleston. s.
C., and Jacksonville. Fla The north
western area OF high pressure. with
It's accompanying cold wave. has ad-
yanced 10 the upper Missouri valley.
The temperature e below zero as far
southwark as eastern South Dakota.
while the thermometer readings In Al
IBERIA, Saskatchewan and Manitoba
range from Is degrees below, at I'd
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-01-24
Improved Industrial Tone.

Chicago, Jan. 24.-The week is rem
dered memorable by further steady
strengthening of steel news. general
business hope and a cut in private
Argentine wheat surplus guesses to the
record modern low surplus of 60,OOO.-
600. Wheat visible shows signs of a
weekly decrease. December wheat
and flour exports at 100000 are sat
isfactory and January, 1914, exports
should total 100000.
4 vaster. broader wheat market
seems inevitable on the basis that In
dia and the Argentine will ship 10000
900 below last year. Liverpool cables
that Argentine corn crop may equal
last year. but puts no credence in
claims of big increase. That Argentine
weather is very hot doing harm TO
crop. and rain much needed. We direct
the attention of the investor to wheat.
Canada exports about $4,000, 900
wheat for July l to Jan. l period. Our
reports show United States winter
wheat condition maintained at 80 to
% per cent and spring condition of the
plant depends on its ability to resist
any zero weather on its bare OF snow
condition.
If the Argentine has raised only
80 200. 900 surplus the bear side of
wheat is thrust from our sight. Corn
has completed its Irst half of winter
Our reports indicate winter
feeding in the west reduced 10 to 90
per cent. Price effects of the small
crop, despite feeding reduction, are
already visible in 30 per cent of the
territory around Chicago.
January live stock population report
is due next Tuesday. Western hog
run for January about equals last
year. Outside the accumulation of
lard there is no chance of bulky cell |
lar supplies this season. Investors
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-01-24
Thomas Cooper

Grand Forks, n. D., Jan. "a
Thomas Cooper is the man who has
placed $114, 900 in the pockets of North
Dakota farmers during the past year.
that sum being divided among 5,1O5
farmers who cooperated with him in
the promotion of the work of the
North Dakota Better Farming associa-
ton, of which he is the director.
Mr.. Cooper, in his annual report,
just issued. shows such increase lin
the value of crops, cDJained by rea-
son of the adoption of modern farm
methods urged by him. Discussing
the outlook for the coming seasons
operations, he maintains that even
greater advances will be made.
The North Dakota Better Farming
association was organized through
the instrumentality of northwestern
business men and bankers. Over
one-third of the state is affected di-
rectly by the movement. Mr.. Cooper
having a force of % field workers, who
are located in various counties OF the
state.
1t is Mr.. Cooper's work to induce
the grain farmers to take up diversi-
fed farming and TO bring about a
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-01-24
EATING AND ELOoUENCE.
An EnsIisI,man's Protest Against Post.
prandiai Garrulity.

prandiai Garruiity.
All men eat. most men speak; but,
though all men eat a dinner. only the
few speak after it. while the many
listen and suffer.
To say that eating and eloquence GO
hand in hand may be a solecism. but
IL is a fact, at any rate condition.
in these days and these ATTITUDES. Aft
er dinner speaking is an evil peculiar
TO no land. 1t is an inf1iction that
obtains a wider vogue in civilized
countries than in those that are still
close to the primitive ideal. The saw
age has not reached that stage of de-
generation where he imagines that the
processes of digestion are aided by
discussion and stimulated by dullness
The primitive man clings to tobacco
and repose as the pleasurable adjuncts
Of his victuals.
Postprandial garrulity reaches It's
most virulent development among the
English speaking peoples. 1t has be
come almost ritualistic and religious
function with them, and the resolute
Englishman or American goes to his
feeding function. his banquet. to eat.
drink and be talked at seriously and
solemnly.
To gorge a man with dishes and
delicacies as a preparation for goadine
him with deliverance and dizziness is
the substitute which n modern civiliza-
ton provides for the Roman holiday.
for, though this age abhors blood and
slaughter and shudders reminiscentiy
over the memory of gladiators. MI
indian lions and Christian martyrs. Il
does not hesitate to make martyrs of
its guests and throw them to its lions.
the after dinner spouters. = London
Truth.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-01-24
Notice-sa,e of Real Estate.

BY virtue of an order and decree Of
the probate court of Rock Island coun-
ty, Illinois, made on the petition Of the
undersigned, Cornelius Donovan. exec
utor of the last Will and testament 81
John Holdorf. deceased, for leave to sell
the real estate of said deceased, at the
January term, A d. 1914. of said court
to-wit. on the fifth day of January.
ruary next, between the hours OF ~
o'clock in the forenoon and o'clock In
the afternoon OF said day, to-wiL 81
the hour of 10 o'clock a. In-, sell at pub
lie sale. at the east door of the court
house in the city of Rock Island. u
said county, the real estate described as
follows, to-wit: The undivided one-haf
(12) of that part of the southwest guar.
Ter of the southeast quarter OF section
No. three 90, in township No, seyen.
of the fourth (4) P. NJ, and describes
as follows, to-wit: Commencing on ths
eighth section line. eight (SD chaini
south of the northeast corner OF NE
southwest quarter of the southeasI
quarter ca of said section. thence run
ming west four "a chains and seventy.
nine hundredths (.79) of chaln.
thence south eight chains and thirty,
six (36) links; thence east four ~
chains and seventy-nine (79) links 2
eight tS) chains and thirty-six tssl
links, to the place or beginning. coz
tanning four (4)s acres. more OF itsA
and known as lot ten (l0), OF SAID sec
two 90 acres. situated in the county q
Rock Island, state of Iillnois on "
Following terms. to-wit: Cash.
CORNELIUS DONOVAN
ment of John Holdorf. deceased
Dated this 5th day of January n =
McEniry & McEniry. solicitors
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-01-24
Liverpool Situation.

Liverpool. Jan 24.-The wheat mar
ket only partially reflected the
strength in America, firmness in Win
nipeg and strength in Buenos Ayres
yesterday and opening values were II
to Il higher. Indications are for
lighter worlds shipments this week
from America, as shown by Brad
streets. Plate offers as well - Aus
tralia continue firm and continental
markets are firm. Following the open
ing there was some disposition for
profits and the advance was checked
by importers selling March against
holdings with liberal stocks every
where and a large visible bearish
modern miller. At the close the mar
ket was dull but steady. unchanged
10 is higher than yesterday.
Corn opened Is higher with Amer
lea. but later declined Is to IA on the
favorable weather and crop advices
from Argentine and the easiness at
Buenos Ayres and Rosario.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-01-24
sherin's Sale.

BY virtue of an execution issued os ,s
OF the clerks Office OF the circuit cur
of Rock Island county, and sta.s Z
Illinois, and TO me directed. wherso: =
am commanded to make the anvu l.,ss
certain Judgment recently o oss'ls ~
against John f. Rose. in a>ldvof ,,, u
Globe Casket Manufacturing coI np. sSs
ont Of The lands, tenements. go2ess ~ II
chitttelS of the said John +. hosssSnsS
have levied on the Following descFipss
property: to-wit: The south on ne AZ
(]%) fthe east one-halt - "
northeast quarter q )of sector. I'm IN
Der ten 10), in township se ..,sst II
(17), north of range one 81 ~ Iii
the fourth (4th) principal meridia'-
in Rock Island county. ILLINOIS. ,,and
Therefore. according to said co IN ne.
l shah expose FOR sale at p ,%nIatss ~ 4
ton. all the right. title ana nus in and
the above named John +. kose ~ 10
to tn. above described proper,,fS ". ARE
o'clock a. m. on Thursday ths soor
day of February. 1914. at the easSs
OF the court house in Rock Is's shss 1ath
Dated at Rock Island. ILL., TINS
day OF January, 1914 ,p1->,ER.
Sheriff of Rock Island Cosho
Per William ii. Brough' oepoes--<.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-01-24
Poultry.
WAGNER'S REVIEW
Drift of the Weather.

minois-Unsetled tonight; probably
snow fiurries; colder tonight and in
southeast
Indiana-CIoudy; colder tonight;
cold wave north Sunday; fair and
colder.
Observation-Disclosures and Sunday
colder.
Wisconsin-Fairt tonight and Sunday
preceded unsettled; colder tonight.
Minnesota-Fair tonight and Sun
day; colder southeast tonight.
Iowa-Mostly cloudy tonight and
Sunday; colder tonight
North Dakota-Fair tonight follow
ed increasing cloudiness Sunday; ris-
ing in northwest tonight.
South Dakota-Unsetled tonight and
Sunday: probably snow fiurries in
south; rising temperature.
Nebra ka-Cloudy and unsettled to-
night and Sunday; colder east tonight
Kansas-Mostly cloudy and unset
tied tonight and Sunday; slightly cold
er east tonight.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-01-24

new farming era in the state that
will result in maintaining the fer
tility of the soil at a high standard.
During the past year 44,612 acres were
operated directly under the supervi-
sion of Mr.. Cooper and his deputies.
The reports show that corn farmed I'M
der the associations direction yielded
IL bushels better an acre than did land
otherwise farmed; the wheat yield was
80 bushels greater; oats, GO bushels;
barley, Ga bushels; fax, 2 bushels,
and potatoes, &c bushels.
The association has organized farm
ers' clubs with a membership of 1000
which hold regular meetings for the
study of modern agricultural prob
lens
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-01-24

n spaniel. no white about him. only
streak on his brest and his tayl lit
tie bobbed It is his 1najesty's own
dog. and doubtless was stoln, for the
Dog was not born nor bred in Eng
land. and would never forsake his
Master Whosoever finds him may
acquaint any at Whitehall. for the Dog
was better known at Court than those
who stole him. Will they never leave
robbing his Majesty? Must he not
keep a deg? This Dogs place is the
only place which nobody offers to
buy"