The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-06-06

head ?" asked. IF had q brother
ten years old who couldn't tell tho
a window screen I'd get pair Of eye
glasses for him."
Are you claiming that this Is q
screen door," he whooped.
"Of course it is. Isn't it two feet
too long for the window? Isn't there
panels on it? Isn't there a handle
on it? I'm only a poor girl. sir. with
red-headed mother and fellow
with glass eye for q beau, but I can
tell an elephant from a mouse"
I'll be hanged If you amt right"
he said. with a smile. after taking q
must have been thinking about trad
ing the house and lot for a chicken
farm. You needn't mention the incl
dent to Mrs. Bowser. Thanks for
coming up. I am sure I can manage
the others"
whistling away and feeling better. He
got the screens into the windows aft
er half an hours work, strung out by
his trying to make them At bottom
side up, and then he came down to
the kitchen, with the screen door. He
had recovered all his pomposity and
conceit. and he didn't mind upsetting
the clotheshorse as he dragged the
screen through. I watched him as he
stood the door up. It was top-side
down. He stood back and surveyed it
and shook his head and muttered:
eff Mrs. ROwSer has been fooling
with this door she'll hear from me in
a way to make her tired!"
you've got it wrong side up, SIR"
ventured to say.
ooh, yes. S'more Of my absent-mind-
edness. 1 was thinking about those
chickens again. If Mrs. B0Wser tries
to pump you switch her off. The door
is rightside up now and it's, like q
glove"
! He soon hao the thing screwed fast
and the door swinging back and forth,
but was holding out for what came
next. Most any sort OF a bald-headed
man can rehang screen door. be-
cause there are all the marks Of last
spring to keep it closed-that's differ
ent. Mr.. Bowser went ahead with the
greatest confidence in himself, whist
ling as he worked, but when the
spring was on and he stood aside the
door flew open.
More Of Mrs. Bowser!" heard him
growl as he tried to make the door
stay shut, but didn't tell him wherein
he had made q mistake. Instead OF
taking the spring off and turning it
end for end, what does he do but take
the whole screen off and turn the out
side in. 1t would't fit that way, and
told him that it wouldn't. and then
he let go of his temper and shouted
at me:
II told you right at the start that
1t was q conspiracy! When Mrs. Bow
ser comes home
II can put that door on in five min
utes!"
you can't in 5000 years."
With that he picked it up and sent
it flying over the fence into a neigh
boris yard, but in stepping back his
foot struck something and he went
over backward and hit his head
against one Of the clothesline posts.
ran out to him with a scream, and in
five minutes there was q policeman,
a tramp. and three or four boys
around him. and was pouring water
on him by the pailful
Then 1t was that Mrs. Bowser ar
rived and quietly took charge. We
got him into the house and upon the
sitting room lounge, while some one
turned in q fire alarm and some one
else called an ambulance. I can't tell
how long Mr.. Bowser lay unconscious.
but his speech was plain when he sud-
denly opened his eyes, scrambled off
the sofa, and yelled out:
Have I been going over Niagara
Fails. or has Mrs. Bowser been trying
to murder me again?"-(Copyright,
1914, by the Mcclure Newspaper