The Penn's Grove record., 1914-04-10

The two papers 60 TO press on the
same day and the rivalry is intense.
Early IN the day the two foremen each
visit the rival plants, ostensiblv to Dor
row some type and a little gasoline, but
III reality to count the advertisements
ana to see how late the rival sheet is
going to be. All afternoon the forces
work teverlshly, reports drifting in occa-
slonally to the effect that over in the other
shop they are locking up the forms. The
minute the press turns in the Democrat
otlce, Ayers grabs the first paper, folds
1t ana saunders hastily over towards the
argus" Sometimes he meets Simpson
hall way over with a copy of the argus
III his pocket and sometimes he gets clear
over and has a chance to swell around
Tor a minute With his newborn paper
III plain sight, watching the mad foreman
lock up the forms. The first paper into
the post-otlce gets distributed first. while
the subscribers of the other paper hang
around III a state of frenzy and WAIVER
III Their allegiance Ill a manner to make
the stoutest heart quail. And one of tile
weekly diversions IN Homeburg is watch
ing this race. Ii it isn't too late in
starting we hang around and make mild
bets OIL the results. One week old man
Ayers and his foreman will hurry out
from the Democrat office and trot
hastily over to the post-office carrying
the weeks issue of the paper between
them III a wash basket. And the next
week Simpson and the office devil will
beat them to it. Now and then they
Will both appear at the same time and
race side by side b~are-headed, c~oatless,
breathless, and full of hate. | hear a
good deal about the eXertiOns to which
your papers go to be on the street first
with extras, but IIl bet there has never
been more voltage i'll the competition
here than there WAS in Homeburg the
night old maj Ayers and young Simpson
arrived at the post-office door at precisely
the same second and got their baskets
Il themselves in a hopeless jam. POST
master Flint had to appoint a peace con
ference to settle the dispute.
Ayers is getting pretty old, and for
several years we have been Worrying about
his future. Since a cruel Government
has decided that a newspaper publisher
must keep his subscription list paid up
or go out OF business, times have been
pretty hard for Ayers; formerly he could
let a subscription account run for ten
years and then take a secondhand
buggy or a quarter OF beef, or a few odd
size grlndstones OH account: but of late
he has had to dun us every year, and OF
course that makes mad and we quit his
paper with great frequency and vim. |
don't know what would have happened
to the old man ii Wilson hadn't been
elected. But that, of course, has settled
things for him. He will be our next
postmaster. Everyone has conceded that
except Pash Wade, Emery Billings,
Colonel Ackley, and Sim Atkinson, who
are also candidates. However, old man
Ayers petition is as long as all the rest
pnt together, and when he is appointed
and begins to draw down fifteen hundred
dollars a year for handing out his own
paper to his subscribers we will sigh with
relief and Simpsons yells will be sweet
music in our ears.
Ii | had my way l would put a clause
III the Constitution giving all third class
postmasterships to third class editors
anyway. It's the only chance they have
OF accommodating enough of a surplus to
be able to go into a store with their hats
on one ear and buy things like other
DeODle.