The Washington herald., 1914-04-03
Statesmen, Real and Near.
By FRED c. KELLY

once spent nine months ransacking a part
OF Alaska for gold.
When the Senate was debating the
proposition for Alaska railways recently,
Lane caused all his associates to look
up and blink in surprise at his know!-
edge OF the weather. fauna and fora of
that region.
Lane has been a doctor most of his
life and-n never caught the spirit Of going
forth to do and dare until he wasy old
enough to settle down and devote his
entire time to poking the fire or kindred
pursuits.
When the Klondike rush was on in the
late SOS, young man Lane knew re-
turned from Alaska with a couple of
hundred thousand dollars to show for his
winters work. Lane was then superin-
tendent Of a insane asylum. but he de-
termined that he would foEsake all and
go to Alaska. His acquaintances shook
their heads and said:
The fellows been around the insane
asylum so long that he's getting funny
ideas himself"
In that way they joked him out Of GO
ing. But he still had the notion in the
rear OF his head and II stuck there. In
1904. even though he was then about fifty
years old. Lane made up his mind that
he was going to take a pick and shovel
and set out for the gold fields.
Il won't be gone long" he said. as he
told his family good-by; Il just want to
glance the place over"
He went to Fairbanks, then up into the
hills and began to poke around in the
ground with his pick But there wasn't
any gold any place that he looked.
The proposition grew monotonOus after
time. II was much harder work than
looking at peoples tongues and handing
them pills to take after eating and before
retiring. Lane wished he was back in
Oregon practiCing medicine, and one day
he came dashing into Fairbanks to take
the beat for the coast. But to his dismay
he learned that the last boat had gone
and the river was frozen. There would
be no more navigation for several
months.
oh. hut I've got to get home" said
Lane. Il intended to remain here only
n short time and my folks will be getting
anxious about me"
Everybody just laughed.
Isn't there any other way to go?" asked
Lane. Il don't care how l travel. I'm
willing to ride on a freight train. or 20
by horse and buggy-any way at all
You can walk" they told him. by
following the river it's 40 miles and the
regular trail is lcC0 miles. The longest
way is best because there are road houses
scattered along"
Road houses or no road houses when
it comes to walking 6n0 miles extra just
for hotel accommodations" replied Lane.
Il decline. Has anybody ever gone the
short way"
Yes. one man. the mail carrier. and he
had 70 kill his dogs and eat them before
he got through"
oh we'll" said Lane. optimistically. Il
can do it. IN have to do it. because
/ have a number Of important engage
ments at home"
And he set out. When he started every
body bade him farewell with sad faces
that suggested hearse plumes and white
cotton gloves: but Lane seemed to think
no more Il it than If he We're merely
going around the corner to an all-niGht
drug store
StranEest Of all was the fact that he
made the trip without any particular diff
fCulty
Wasn't it pretty cold" he was asked
nv another Senator the other day
on. yes: it was fairly cold. Of course
admitted Lane. "Rut then a man often
gets cold travelling even in a Pullman
berth. And ! had the advantage over a
Pullman passenger OF having plenty OF
blankets.
A group OF newspaper men sat at
table in one OF the Capitol restaurants
rating food Elmer Murphy. of the New
York Tribune. had ordered a piece Of
fish and when il came il tasted alto
Sether too much like a fish. The fish
taste even in fish can be carried to ex-
tremes.
II can't cat this fish. Take il away
said Murphy. Bring me piece Of roast
beef in place Of it..
When he got his hill h" was charged
with both the fish and the meat
Then everybody at the table began TO
storm around and talk about what an
outrage il was.
Don't You pay it, commanded John (
'allan O'LauChlin. Of the Chicago Trih. .
Ine. The idea of asking a man to
1ay for a thing nc can't cat, Wc'n all /
back you up. Go to tho manager and /
nave 1t out with him" And he POUND I!
d the table eNcitedIy with his fist.
After Hearing a little talk like that. |
Murphy got his Irish up. and went to !
he manager with the others following. |
All glared with determination, ready to |
lie for a principle.
DO have TO pay for this FISH that |
couldn't eat?" savaEely inquired Muir
,hy pointing to his bill.
Why. no Certainly not" replied the
manager. politely. as he crossed it of |
he slip.
And a crestfallpn bunch Of aggressive !
.OunG men backed away in silence.
1t is an awful thing to II ready for a
light and not find ii.
Copyright. 1914. by Fred c. Kelly. All rights
re~eryed.D