Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1914-03-13
He Fulfilled the
Conditions
By 7 H VANDEvEER

ed some means and desiring TO see the
world. he went abroad. In Paris he
met Joel Halsted. a fellow townsman.
who introduced him TO Jules Laboudier,
and he kindly consented to pilot the
two Americans among the sights of
Paris and the vicinity. one day after
having visited Versailles the trio re-
turned tired and hungry. and Labou-
der led the way TO II cafe In the
Champs Elysees for dinner.
How these Two plain inhabitants of
the western world yer secured the
services of 50 elegant Il gentleman as
Laboudier to show them about Is u
mystery. though possibly the fact that
Nudge puid the bills had something to
do with it. Seeing that Nudge was un-
Accustomed to the tone of high life In
Paris. the Frenchman took Halsted
apart aud told him he feared that his
friend might through ignorance put
him to the blush. But Halsted quieted
his fears, and the three continued the
sightseeing copartnership.
During the dinner In the cafe In the
Champs Elysees a party sat at the
next table to Nudge and his friends,
one Of whom was a dapper gentleman
i've feet FIVE inches high. with a wax
ed mustache and imperial, who SEEM
ed to be the center of attraction of
those with him. When Nudge arose
from his chair this gentleman turned
to look at him with wondering eyes.
When Nudge finally finished going UP
toward the ceiling the Frenchman ex-
claimed loud enough for all to hear:
LA tour d'Eiffell"
Now, Nudge was sensitive on one
subject-his height. He knew that the
Frenchman had said something detri-
mental. but. not understanding French,
was not aware that he had been COM
pared with the Eiffel tower. He glared
at the man who had criticised him,
s~upposing the remark to be more in
sulting than it really was; then, max
ing one step, he covered the distance
between himself and his critic and.
taking him by the coat collar. held him
dangling in the air for a moment. then
let him gently down on the floor.
The Frenchman's face was as red
as a turkey cocks comb. and his eyes
fairly scintlllated sparks. Laboudier's
~countenaDce was equally expressive,
though In a different way.
"What have you doneY" be cried to
Nudge. do you know who that gen.
tleman Isl"
ssThat sawed of chap! Why. ! reck-
on he's a dwarf escaped from a dime
museum"
"He is M. GARNER, the best swords
man in France
.sThat doesn't make n difference
to me. I'm not a soldier"
The outraged Frenchman whipped
out a card with his name on it and
flung 1t down on the table before
Nudge. Laboudler picked 1t up and.
joining the other party. held a CONVEX
sation In French. which his friends
did not understand. Presently he re-
turned and said that he had endeayor-
ed to explain that Nudge was an
American u~nacquainted with the man
ners and customs of Europeans and
tried to excuse him OF that ground.
He had finally induced M. GARNER to
accept an apology.
APOLOGY for what?" asked Nudge.
"Mon dieu. For holding him up in
the air like a jumping jackr'
didn't he insult me 6rst?'
"He simply compared you to the
Eiffel tower"
aHe did. did he. If I'd known that
I woul1n't have let him down so
easy"
"Then II you will not apologize you
must fight"
"Fight: With that little chap! Why.
I'd eat him up in two minutes!"
"My dear M. Nudge, you do not
understand. You must fight him UNI
der the code"
"What's the code?'
"Why he'd challenge you. Therefore
you have the choice Of weapons-pis-
tolls, foils. any weapon you like. You
also have the choice of the time and the
place of the combat"
"oh, / have. have I? Well. / choose
fists, / to stand on the ground, my
enemy to fight me through a second
story window. ! don't want to take
any advantage Of him because he isn't
as tall as | am. He can't help his
shortness any more than l can help
my longness."
'Monsieur, you do not understand
our Partisan customs. You cannot
fight with the fists. The code does not
allow. The weapons must be some
thing that will KILL"
m. Laboudier." Nudge replied, II
consider it my duty under the cir
cumstances to fight this NJ. GARNER.
But since you say that. according to
your code. l car choose time. place
and weapons / choose any place in
the Seine where the water is exactly
five feet five inches deep. the weapons