Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1914-05-20
Comments on the Kramer-Clark Race

sion, my friend Nish Nomura say
to me, why are 1t Big Stevens
Kramer do not commit hari-karl for
letting Rockets Clark, who set new
fashion of wearing white cuffs IN
match race beat him. Nish oplne
1t are act which never can be con-
done. But with wise bike fan alti-
tude I say, "Nish. Yankee men with
extension chins do not commit hari-
kari and it are more likely Big
Stevens will carve little Rockets
mid-section and soonly, too"
Poor Nish are getting American
college education in baseball,
mathematics, high jinks, football and
slang at expense of Japanese gov
eminent and have much to learn
But Nish are active questioner and
learn much by knowledgeful answer,
which l give.
why are it Kramer and Clark
can smile so with such grinly eX-
preston just before start of death
duel?" are Nish's first question when
cheers tear big holes in quiet Vails-
burgh Sabbath.
"Oh, that are only stage laugh ac-
quired in Europe, which prevent
grinding of teeth, thusly saving dem
fist BILL" l negotiate.
why are it Kramer follows Clark
like bill collector?" inquired Nlsh.
THAT are magnificent and intelll-
gent jockeying," I combust disgust
.edly as lady in next seat sneer at
Nishs ignorance.
Yes, but this are no race" yawn
Nish as nerve-wrecking jockeying are
on fourth lap.
This are a race now and more so
soonIy." l dib. Now watch close
for jump"
"Oh, this are jymkhana on wheels,
now l am interest" elapse Nish. 1--WE
have it on ponies at Harvard once
every year annually"
This are no lymkhana, this are a
serious bonus sport" l eject
who are going TO win?' inquire
Nish.
abrogate loudly, so everyone can
hear.
you had advanced information. :"
say Nish when Big Stevens made
victorious winning in first heat.
NO" 1 reply, fabbed at such ig-
norance. II am formula player and
read one best bet columns"
"Will large Stevens win next
heat" inquire Nish.
"There are less than nothing to 1t,
and he will take the bit home" say
l with sporty expression.
Nish enjoy much lofty pleasure
when Clark won the second and third
heats and made sneer-face at me.
You amt such intellectual wise guy
as you say now!" eject Nish with
sinful glee.
Did clark ever make large
Stevens surrender before inquire
! Nish as Clark make sweet bows and
| with HOurayS tito ph0T-11e ladV
Eyes. forty times" I COLLIDE.
well, If he beat him forty times,
why are it he cannot do it some
more and often?" combust Nish ig-
norantly.
Don't you notice cement forma-
ton in Big Stevens brain?" l an
swer with disgust expression, while
lady in next seat smoker louder.
what have cement got to do with
| this race" ask Nish.
"Nish," l reply with wise fan look
cement and bone and ivory are in
active substances peculiar to ath-
letes. Some have 1t continually
while others are stricken only oc-
casionally. Kramer had bonish ideas
while Clark used brainlsh judgment
Now that Clark have beat
Kramer, who beat Rutt who beat
everybody else, Clark are worlds
champion, are he not?'' inquire Nish
mo, Rutt are still champion of all
worlds Kramer are American cham
pion and Clark are nothing" l dit
with conclusive air.
why are it if Clark beats large
Steve so scarcely if seldom brains
are necessary" derange Nish. III
Kramer have superior haste in legs
how can Rockets beat him?"
"Nish," ! reply, you are a sick
failure. Go back to Harvard and
buy a f1ve-foot bookshelf and learr
some knowledgful learning, and II
you have more questions ask Hon
]. P. NJ" / am confused to answer
With sadden pulse, I am
Yours truly,
KATE YAMA,
Japanese Bike Fan.