The silver state. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1909-1925, 1914-03-31
new HARD LUCK
STORY BY REPORTER

Here's the champion hard luck
story of the season! OF this season
or any other season, or any other
time, too, if you hear my gentle voice
cackle, Messieurs. For, despite its in
tense "funniness ITO you-the
dream story-no concoction of the
journalistic brain-it's a sad reality.
The other day in Salt Lake ! got
stewed' and lost my teeth. Get
that9 Lost my TEETH-tbe things
that I use for mastication of the sue
culent porterhouse-when ! happen to
have the price for the said steak-and
other things in the gastronomic line.
Where did / leave 'em? Now that Is
really quietensible-very. If I knew,
don't you 'spose I'd beat it in that
direction and annex 'emf Possibly
vou may have vague idea that a
fellow has some shadowy use for his
molars-even if they are "bought-
en- I have, ] know.
Being one of those unfortunates
about the tenth. drink-or where they
go-I haven't the remotest idea
where I "drove in" yesterday in the
final roundup of the joy delirium of
the afternoon. only know this
that I'm minus a job at present, and
not knowing any kind hearted dentist
who is disposed to do an Andrew Car
negie act of philanthropy, and not
having "the price, myself-it looks
to me as if I was doomed to do the
" cumming act for an indefinite
period Cheerful, is it not, mes amies
Certainement, it is to laugh-for the
other fellow. Sounds excrutiatingly
" comique '-heina
During a period of fighting the
booze for the past twelve years I've
'flost' several overcoats, suitcases
and more minor articles of more or
less value than | could itemize here
in half a column-all from Just the
same cause as the matter of the teeth
forgot where | left them.
Two coats went while on the same
job ON the Seattle Times some years
ago-both in the same winter. The
first one-a fine $40 coat had just
taken out of the express Office on my
first pay day-the benny having
been Gin hocko in a San Francisco
all summer was accom-
panied that day by a ci-divant re-
porter then ont of joD, and | always
thought he got that coat-but. of
course, | couldn't prove it. All 7
know was that when 7 "came too' in
my hotel next day | didn't have it.
Another time I landed in the same
burg with brand new suitcase full
of good clothes. Walking up to a
drug store where | was slightly
known, left it in charge of the clerk
there till next day. Going in to get
it the following afternoon, I was told
that I'd been in in the morning and
received it.
"'But I must have been horribly
tanked' in the morning, wasn't Ig'
said L. "What did you let me have it
for in that condition.
"Oh, well, you were drunk was
the reply of the clerk, "but we didn I
want you to kick up row, so we gave
it to you'' And that ended it, for
knew that there wasn't the slightest
chance of my ever getting track of
where I had left that suitcase. SIM
ply another case of $40 gone-that IS
all. Same thing with the overcoats
Two in China, one in Japan, two in
Seattle, two in Alaska-yes-and a
suitcase and pair of boots there
too, one in Milwaukee, one in New
York and even the coat off by back
in that dear 'Frisco-remembranee of
the tBarbarv Coast and among the
items of similar occurrences.
But never-even in the most hilar-
ious moments of inebrety-have
been guilty of losing the most useful
appurtenances of all-my teeth-be
fcre-although l have often thought
that it was only a matter of time
knowing nv unfortunate habit OF
"leaving' things around the trail OF
the preceding day. | only had those
teeth about four months, but | hao
conceived fond attachment for then
which is beyond the power of Ian
guage to detail.
And-as I say-being jobless just
now-the reproduction of the very
much desired molars seems to be list
ed in the realm of the impossibilitie'
all of which is far from being al
funny as it sounds.
Hump hear some of you caus
tically remarking- guess it'll learI
him something this time-maybe he"
quit booze hitting now.'
Sure-fne dope acknowledg'
the corn-plead guilty to the charg'
''as being herein mentioned, etc., TAX
my "davy that I'll never-s hell
me, no, never,-and all the rest of j
but that don't get back the teeth
does itf Bring on your bright younl
Sherlock Homeless. Here's you
chancel Reward-sack of 9Th
maxim s''-and the voluble thanks o
one poverty stricken newspaper man
For that $ all ] can offer. Don