The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-13
NED BRACE ATTENDS GRIDIRON DINNER
AND SENDS ACCOUNT OF CLEVER SKITS


conglomerate uniform. He carried a rifle
and wore an officers sword. On one shoui-
der of his bedraggled United States uni
form was huge epaulet while thetotherl
shoulder was bare His sleeve was
adorned with sergeant's and -corporals
stripes, and altogether he made a queer
appearance When asked the cause of
his appearance he said he was Represen-
tatlye Gussie Gardeners idea of the Amer
Colonel-Lieutenant Colonel-Major-C Cap
tain-First and Second Lieutenants-Ser-
geant Major-Sergeant Corporal-Private
Smith He stated that he was a member
of all the arms of the army and was sta
toned in the United States on the zones
big highway, in Manila, Alaska and on
the Isle of Hawaw-Ay. The president
then commenting on his struggling APP
pearance and his being too thin to be
spread over SO much territory, advised
him to go show himself to the Secretary
of War, and then return to his station.
The old soldier then limped out of the
room to the tune of the Poor Old Sol
der"
He had hardly left the room before the
well-known strains of "Tipperary'' were
of New York. Charles s. whitman, was
sung.
The strains of the chorus had hardly
died away before William e. Brigham Of
the Boston Transcript, a new member of
the club. was initiated.
While the guests were eating the next
course. the well was being changed into
a roped arena preparatory to the prize
hShh. camp CiittiS were ptdCeu III cdCn
corner and when everything was arranged
announcement was made that Major Syl-
vester chief of the Washington police,
had granted permission to the club to put
on a prize fight for the championship of
the United States.
a mn I3,.rt
Moose the greatest referee that ever stood
between two parties. Then Kid Denoc-
racy. the present champion of the United
States. was introduced followed by old
G.. o. p, heavy weight champion for 16
years, knocked out in 1912, but who says he
can come back. G. O. P. came lmping
in on a pair of crutches in ring costume,
but bandaged. He was accompanied by
his seconds, Penrose and Barnes while
Charlie Murphy and j. Ham Lewis acted
as seconds for Kid Democracy. Time
was called and it was announced that the
contest would be under the rules of the
House of Representatives. Hitting in
clinches, rough stuff, biting and kicking
would be allowed to speak more than five
minutes. The announcer wound Up by
stating that Bill Sulzer, the East Side
Terror, challenged the winner. AS the
sparring commenced, Kid Democracy
landed blow on G. o. P. with the re-
mark: II brought peace to Mexico" G.
o. p. landed one crying: you closed all
the mills. You threw thousands of men
out of work and put tax on beer
Democracy then cried out: MIR. Ref
cree, he is hitting me with his tariff
knuckles.'
Bull Moose then separated them and
the round was over. When they had re-
tired to their corners. Penrose advised
G. o. P. to use his tariff knuckles on
Democracy more and more, while Barnes
said: when you get a chance soak Bull
Moose He's the fellow that's keeping you
from victory" Democracys seconds adj
vised him to give G. o. p. little more
| of that Mexican chil-concarne, while Ham
Lewis advised little more of the Andrew
Carnegie dope. Time was again called
and as the contestants delivered blow
after blow, G. o. p. shouted:
"The Underwood tariff caused the Eu-
| ropean war.
| Democracy then exclaimed: II pre-
vented the war with Mexico" G. o. p
then began smuggling his opponent, crying
Free trade caused the war. 1t made the
olution. great wind in Ireland, the fall of