The Bottineau courant. (Bottineau, Bottineau County, N.D.) 1895-1929, 1914-01-02
UNCLE JERRY
RETURNS
B. M. QUAD
Copyright. 1913. BY Associated Lit.
erary Press.

Nv A4au sveU uOSS psSSsu oou w.
tented life than Uncle Jerry spooner
Of Spoonersville.
Uncle Jerry married a placid girl. It
was not known that they ever differed
In their opinions.
Just after being married Uncle Jerry
began buying butter and eggs aud ship
ping them to the city market. He
made q bargain with a commission
house that he was to get a certain
price the year round. He therefore
never had to worry about the state Of
the market. He shipped Just 10 many
eggs and just 10 much butter.
Uncle Jerry was u subscriber to and
a reader Of the Christian Brother.
His grandfather had taken it. and his
father had taken it, and be did not
want to hurt the feelings of the editor
by dropping it.
The Christian Brother had no cur
rent news. 1t seldom referred to the
doings Of bad men. 1t never printed n
line about gold bricks or green 'ds
or other confidence games. Uncle \ ~
sometimes heard drummers and IT
ming rod men talking about vi
things. but he paid little ate ion.
They said Of him the day he was fifty
years old:
"Why. he knows no more Of the
world than a baby! IL a slick man
should come along be could beat Uncle
Jerry out of his Shirt"
And just the next day the entire vii.
lage was thrown into a state of con.
sternation. In the midst of his placid
life and never having journeyed above
thirty miles from his front gate the
| good man suddenly announced:
Say. now. by gol. If l amt going to
the city,"
"Why-why"-
Eyes. sir. l am. I'm going up there
to look around and see the sights"
His wife placidly corroborated this
announcement and did not betray any
| symptoms Of Mysteries. and then a rush
was made for the house Of the min
lister whose church Uncle Jerry at
tended.
"Uncle Jerry is going to the city I'M.
less we can stop him." was exclaimed.
He probably has some business
there" replied the good man.
mo. he hasn't. He says he's just go
ing to see the sights" .".
"Well?"
swell. he mustn't go. He'll be rob-
bed Of his all and maybe murdered be-
fore he has been there a day! Don't
you know how green and innocent he
is? Why. a boy FIVE years old could
gum game him." Fl
The minister had a talk with Uncle
Jerry. but it did not move the limo
cent. When he took the stage to ride
miles to the railroad 300 people
assembled to see him off. and not one
Of them hut was anxious and worried.
Nothing happened to Uncle Jerry dur
ing the seven mile ride.
He had reached Il hotel and eaten
dinner and was standing at the door
looking at the crowds when a pedes-
| trian walked up to him with hand out
and exclaimed:
"Why. bless me. If this amt Uncle
Jerry Spooner"
"She he. sir. and right from Spoon
ersville today" was the reply as they
shook.
You remember me. don't your
II do. You are Steve Taylor's broth
er. II dry goods man."
81 am glad you remember me. l have
lost my wallet and want the loan Of
$40. ] will let you keep this watch
and chain as security till l see you
again."
That's all right. and here's your ten.
You are certainly an honest man."
The fellow went away ~churkling.
and another guest of the hotel who
had been watching things stepped up
to Uncle Jerry and said:
"Old man. you have been bunkoed!"
II guess not"
"What did you let him have for that
watch. which isn't worth over $3?"
"Why. let him have a counterfeit
ten dollar bill. OF course! It was one I'D
been carrying around for 'leven years.
"Say, you don't need no GUARDIAN"
was the comment of the man as he
fell hack.
Two hours later. as Uncle Jerry wan
dered the streets. a man jammed his
hat down over his ears and eyes and
grabbed his watch. It was the three
dollar watch. The victim grabbed for
the thief and tore his neekscarf away
In the vain effort to hold him. When
his hat had heen pushed up a police
man was ut his elbow to ask:
ibid hp touch you for your watch3''
IF yOn call it t",n.hing he certainly
got the wntch.'
"A hnystpd like ynu ought to hire
ONE to walk ont with yOu.''
"Oh I'm mot complaining any: l gut
his nts.ktie. and there seems to bp n
sNnn.nnd IN IT,.
"St".niS"" shrit.si the officer after
INSPECTING the hin. why. II It isn't a
sitN dia'no,h them I'm u RNat:"
~ hundred dU.InrS. ph? Well. that
ain't sn bid FOR 4 three dollar watch