The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-14
THE HUIN OF
THE HgAlByeS.
Catalogue House System Off, Il
spring Of .Rumbuggsfy.
CHEAP AND FLlMSY SECONDS

VH6nl HND 6buASA
It is Supposed That Satan Was the
Original Humbua-The Retail cata-
Ioeue House People Have Developed
the Art Until It Has Become Dis
case With Them.
copyrighted. 1914, by Thomas J. sullivan.1
On a certain occasion some boys
thought they would play trick on
the great naturalist, Darwin.
They caught beetle, glued various
parts of other insects upon Its head
and body, placed it in little box and
humbly knocked at Darwin's door,
seeking to know what the great scien.
fist would call this wonderful bug they
had assembled.
AIr. Darwin looked it over very crit
ically and asked the boys very serious
~, did this bug hum when you
caught it," Eyes, Sir: it hummcd n
great deal" replied the boys, with sly
winks at each other.
Then this must be humbug," said
Darwin.
1t is supposed that Satan was the
original humbug, but since the mail or
der houses have been established het
has had to take a back seat, and
among so many modern Improvements
he must feel dreadfully useless and
antlquated.
Love to Be Humbugsed.
That the American people love to be
humbugged long since has passed into
a proverb. TrIckcry may BIO called
our national vice, our besettIng sin.
Like liberty, 1t appears TO be in the
very mir we breathe. We take to 1t as
naturally as we do to politics. Our
entire social system has become satu-
rated with it. Even at times 1t mas
Querades under the mantle of charity.
which, like well filed purse, covers
multitude Of sins.
There are various kinds and classes
Of takers and tricksters, but the
princes Of them all, the incarnations
OF fraud, are the advertising humbugs,
who, when stripped of the sugar coat
ing by which they impose upon the
public, are simply professors of false
hood.
Would Strike Liars Dead.
The ancient scribes tell us that the
lord once attempted to check the
humbug habit by striking the liars
dead, but when he looked into the
future and saw the huge catalogue
houses looming in the distance he
reluctantly relInquIshed the idea as he
saw that such plan in the congested
centers would prove more fatal than
second food.
The mail order houses word their adj
vertising so as to appeal to the credu-
lIty and weakness Of human nature,
as 1t is generally known that every
son Of Adam and daughter of Eve pos
sesses disposition to resort to games
Of chance, an inclination to get some
thing for nothing.
Possess the Gambling Instinct.
A noted gambler once said: "Lffe
consists in taking chances. Providence
has tnstilled into the brains and hearts
of men the betting instinct" So when
the mail order houses came into exist
ence they at once opened up an avenue
for the development of humanity's
well known weakress-a desire for
gambling.
AS the catalogue houses passed from
the elementary and experimental stages
to that of permanent and pronounced
reality the gambling instinct Of the
consumer kept pace with the humbug's
progress.
The consumers read the bewitehinE
circulars describing the many wonder
full bargains; they fumbled the pages
of the huge catalogue in bewildcr1ng
amazem ent. The angel of doubt hover
ing near whispered warnings to the
fascinated buyer, but the god OF chance
was beckoning from the distance, and
the order was sent forward.
Cheap, Flimsy Seconds"
Tho advertising humbug's advertise
tnents and catalogues depict his goods
as something marvellous. Bedsteads.
chairs, tables, couches, picture frames,
heaters, etc., which appear to be mas
sive, handsomely carved pieces of
work, are nothing but cheap, atmsy
Seconds" when delivered, and the buy
err Is often ashamed to cart them home
in the daytime, but waits for the dark
ness of night to cast its mantle over
their defects.
Sometimes tho gambling instinct is
SO deeply set in the natures Of some
consumers that one evidence Of the
trickery of the advertising humbug is
insufficient, and they again indulge
their passion for gambling by taking,
"chance" with another order and again
getting imposed upon, and SO on I'D
Infiuitum.