South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-11-03
Did Not Kno,U
Ho1U to Play
Marriage Failed Because
Wife Took Herself too
Seriously.
BY DOROTHY DIN.

"The reason that my marriage was
| a failure" said the first woman, is
! because I did not know how TO play.
II come of serious, sober-minded
] folk with whom duty is fetish /
was brought up to consider what was
! the right thing TO do, not what was
the agreeable thing. and to be pru-
/ dent and economical, and thrifty, and
+ always keep a weather eye out for a
/ rainy day.
L fell in love with the most charm
jig. happy o-lUcky fellow who ever
| lived. a creature of sunshine anG
laughter to whom happiness was just
as necessary as the air he breathed.
1T was this very joyousness, this
delight in life that appealed TO my
bleak Puritanism, though l ala not
know it then, and for which mar
~ied him. and it was my lack OF
understanding this that wrecked our
lives.
MY husband was a good money
maker. That kind Of man usually is
because people shoulder him into sue
cess for the sheer pleasure Of his gay
society, but / was not satisfied with
his making money. l wanted 10 save
it, l wanted to see it safely piled up
in the bank, and it maddened me to
see the careless way in which he let II
slip through his fingers.
Il was always lecturing him about
his extravaganza. ] thought he spent
a ridiculous amount of money on his
clothes and every time a new suit
came home. or a batch of fancy shirts,
there was a little scene in which
reminded him of the necessity OF
saving our money and laying up
competence for our old age.
nings He had a child's delight In
the light. and music, and gaiety of
the cafes and he was mad about
the theater. He always wanted TO
take me with him first, but my tastes
were all quiet. domestic ones. The
foolish musical comedies that my nus
band adored bored me.
I cared nothing for dress and
would not even bother TO put on the
pretty frocks he bought me, so 1 al
ways looked dowdy among the beau
tifully dressed and bejewelled women
who were his old friends, and the
price Of suppers at fashionable res
taurants appalled, me-
When / look back now | think l
must have been nothing but killjoy,
nothing but a wet blanket on all of
his pleasures.
Il can remember we'll the little
shrug of impatience he would give
when l insisted that we go TO cheap
restaurant, or straight home after
the play, and the look of disappOint
ment that his face would take on
when 1 vetoed the plans for merry
parties that he was always drawn
into, because they would cost money
that had better be saved.
And the more he spent the more
frugal 1 became. and the more l
pinched every penny, and because L
knew that his friends were as reck-
less and inconsequent as he was the
more 1 tried TO draw him away from
them, and the more I let them see
that L considered them a pernicious
influence to him.
"Of course. theoretically. 1 was
right, but theories don't work out in
matrimony. We should have been
thrifty and saved our money instead
of wasting it on pleasure. We should
have worked instead of playing. The
only trouble was that you can't turn
a butterfly into a plough horse.
THE real result of my efforts to do
my duty, as / saw II, by my husband, |
was that I drove II away from him. !
Because 1 lect1red him about his ex-
travagance he began to keep things
secret from me, and TO lie to me, and /
to deceive me. / don't blame him, 4
now. He made the money. Why |
should he have had to endure a lee |
ture from me every time he spent a |
dollar?
And because / wasn't companion
able, because L sat up like a skeleton \
at every feast and took the pleasure /
out of every occasion, he quit taking \
me about with him. Gradually, SO /
gradually 1 hardly realized it, l was
left out of his pleasures, until at last |
woke up to the fact that he never /
went anywhere with me except upon /
compulsiOn, and that ] had not part in |
the life he enjoyed l represented |
duty to him, and nothing else. Just |
that. and the dullness and monotony |
of marriage. The world that he loved |
did not even touch his home
Then / knew that l had made a |
failure OF marriage. just because |
didn't know how TO play. If 7 had /
played with my husband. and entered |
into his pleasures, we might not have /
saved the money that I wanted. but |
we would have had something a great /
deal better than money, something 1
that millions won't buy, and that is
love and domestic happiness.
BIRTHS.
ppr., In and Mrs nopaI1 nm