New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1914-01-28

CoiioAoSi dtiOi lAOUU III paper
On or after 4 kargo ov plugged
Mex. 4 S. The old crown ov Po-
land planted 500 years ago under
an elm tree Gums up, reddy tew
be plct by some lite fingered Rushon.
Friday, 23rd. Anuther- unlucky da
for q he'd that wore crown Napo-
icon went On q plezure trip to The
Han of ST. Helena. Upon landing at
the depo is met by the Marine Band.
discovers Solitaire" and a mermaid
the same day. Is caught re-niggin
and proclaimed by the mermaid tew
be a kerd shark.
Saturday, 24th. Prof. Taking ov
the Agricultural Kollege in Alasky,
akkused ov taking wilt out ov flax.
Wind blowing a gale, N. by N. w.
Ihlssels, Rushon Kaktus and 4-leav
ed mustard admitted free from Kan
ada and the Dakotys, Minnesoty
holding the balance ov trade. Look
out for quack and grass widders and
you will see them. Bobby Burns
celebrates hiz birthda in Burnstown.
M.enny ov the Clan-Gordon present.
Amung the chief announcements waz
Hyland Fling, the bag-pipes and
hoCCISA -lSuiOIGUS-
Sunday, 25th. A da for worship
and rest A ola much thought ov by
our forefathers. Singing Watts
hymns and playing peaknuckle, old
sledge, and fourty-fve. Now it's
Beethoven, progressive uker, runlmy
and smear. An elderly man SON
struck at the ise-rink at. II P. M.
Both revived by court plaster and
Hostetter's Bitters. Venus will be
morning star until Feb. 18th then
evening star till Nov. 9th. This ar
rangement will give Adonis chanel
to look at her early or late as the
old folks deem proper. Go to meetin
to Ga. If it does you no good it will
do you no harm. You may tread on
a banana peel tomorrow.
Blue Monday, the Goth. Very
windy. More wind MKT with strenu-
GUS profanity in S. A. and Chile. A
Bull Moose not roaring success.
Fineas T. Barnum's old Jumbo wuz
the candidate that TUX the kake and
peanuts. If the Kwiet actin mewl
from NJ Jirsy. that kickt Hanna's
proud old White Elephant tn deth
recently keeps up his doins and win
; ters well, old Jumbo will l1av nothin
on him DRAWN the crowd. Anvil fish
ermen and kurosity seekers flock tew
the Big Cottonwood R. A big whale
under an Use flow ketches Isle Walton
fishing. Isik made brilliant brake
for liberty but wuz TUX internally.
Hiz cotton suit was worth 27$. The
N. U. Angling Club il hot on the
trail Of the fish. Mosis Levy will
ferret out the klothz. The school
board has under advizment a school
fer whales.
Tuesday, 9th. Beef IL shillings
a pound in Lundun stock yards. Mrs.
Pankhurst goes on anuther hunger
strike. Buckwheat pancakes disc. by
VIM. Penn in Bucks Co., Penn,
early. Quaker wild oats soan about
the same time. At the banks, henz
eggs laid tn da may be deposited in
lieu ov gold at one dollar apiece by
wait. Cakkels can't be bought for
luv or muny.
Wednesday, 2Sth. Aunty-trust ap-
pears in Hall ov Congress and speaks
a piece, The Committee on Games
found in the ante-room busy and or
dered to ante up. Jack Frost that
old deceiver) has bin in the city only
a few days and has already cauzed
!, grounds for business in the Divorce
Court, owing tew Inkompatibility ov
fire-furnaces and kold feet.
Thursday, Goth. Colder. Ise sick
els in the church vestybule. The
provident man is knone by the deeds
dun on the sidewalk.
Friday, both. Cloudy, probubul
sno. Crate wether for mittens, pop
corn & mint juleps. Li-Hung Chang
hung for Icing, assault in the first
degree with chop-stick, and threat
ening the Empress with a Ku. K.
Henry VIII too, chopped off the head
of Anne Boleyn 1886 and the very
next da saw in Jane Seymour nuff
tn marry her.
Saturday, 31st. January gets shay
ed-in westher-on Board of Trade,
rings up Miss Feb.-and goes out.