The Washington herald., 1914-03-29
P. D. @. INTERVIEWS
A Call to the Government Agricultural Bureau

= drought here in the coat-tafl pocket OF
some New England Senator"
"1 viii at once go
Hold on. have other questions.
What about the milkweeds that grow &c
profusely In every pasturer'
Isis 1t a plant, sir?" asked the chief
mo; IL Is stalk"
"And it gives milk? We ought TO find
something about that in the Cow De-
partment. That will be in the room
across the hail.
But II is worthless milk. sir. Nothing
will touch It, while the stalk is a nui-
| sance. Has this Bureau tried grating
on the milkweed?
Then hustle. Perhaps IT can be made
to grow Bartlett pears. II the farmer
were to pour molasses around its roots
It might turn into sugar cane"
Dear met"
There is a scarcity Of hay every year.
Some substitute ought to be found. II
half a million tons OF milkweed were to
be turned into fodder that cows would
cry for. the price of hay would have to
come down, wouldn't It?
Surely"
"And there is the sunnower. What re-
turn does he make for the kindness and
care lavished upon him.
why, he bears a head full OF seeds,
doing it'll think / have"
But il doesn't take up half his time
to do that, and the seeds are not worth
10 cents a pint when he has matured
them. He's a lazy loafer. Why not
make him work for his living?'
But how?"
Graft him. sir. Make him grow string
beans. No reason why he shouldn't grow
all the squashes needed by the family,
faef % tob
Dear me, but you put thoughts into
my head-you surely do" said the fus-
trated chief.
And there Is the potato vine. A thou
sand tons Of the vines are burned or
buried in every county every fall. They
have been held as utterly worthless since
the potato was known, and 1t is SO to-
day. I estimate that 100000 tons are
wasted every year"
Dear met"
But why isn't this Bureau hustling to
make them nutritious for both man and
beast; II soaked in some liquid. the far
mer could use them with his boiled din
ners, and they would take the place of
hay for his livestock"
Heavens; but what new thoughts you
give me!' whispered the chief.
And there is the pumpkin vine. sir"
"Ah, yes. 1 have heard that the pump
gre" On a VINE inc
and not the pie, isn't it?''
Correct. He grows on a vine that
runs clear into the next county. II may
grow half a mile long and only have one
pumpkin. At least thirty feet OF every
pumpkin vine in the country is wasted.
Why not find a way to make 1t grow Gu
cumbers as well? In growing IL devel
ops a certain muscular power. Why not
harness that power and make II saw the
a. -Er
Yes, why not? What wonderful ideas
you have?"
And now I come to a matter, sir,
which interests every man, woman. and
child in the countryside high cost of
living"
"Ah!"
what has jumped the cost7'
THE farmers are not producing enough
to supply the demand"
And why not?"
Dunno"
But do, sir, and it's for this Bureau
to take hold of the matter at once
Good lands, but you scare mel" ex-
claimed the chief.
You have heard OF the farmers hired
man, OF course?"
II think 1 have-I think so.'
For the last 400 years, up to five years
ago. 1t has been possible to get him up
IN the morning by shouting, blowing
horns. firing guns and using bombs The
day has passed when he fears these
things. His hour of arising used to be
4 o'clock in the morning. 1t is now at IL.
He has curtailed the agricultural produc-
ton OF the country by 66 hours per week.
What does that figure up when there are
II, 10000 hired men?"
But this Bureau"
Don't say that this Bureau has no
control over that matter. It has. 1t
must see to it that there is a return to
old hours and old production The far
mer must be shown how to do It."
AN earthquake?"
Anything that will accomplish the
trick. It's up TO you. Get the hired man
out of bed at the old hours and the cost
Of living will be but q dream"
"You-you spoke Of graft?"
That's 1t. Discover a way to graft
him to a cyclone or cloudburst or some
thing else that gets up at ( o'clock in the
morning and works like Sam Hill till
in the evening and you can boast that
this Bureau has earned the gratitude of
a nation
And as left the chief was saying:
1T shall be done-it shall be donei"