Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-02-22

II requires very little noise
to bring me right out here
The drop Of nickel on a plush sots
Is sufficient You know it's always
human nature to desire to do that
which we are least qualified TO do
hence my dashing out here trying
TO impress you with n speech.
There are so many people trying
to tell us how TO live. II is absurd:
they live themseives-and that Is
all they can possibly do. and mind
their own business.
This is getting to be bum coun-
try. anyway. I'm going to get out
mot that the country cares a rap
but the men running 1t are
boobs. / met three or four com
mittees In Washington the other
day. One committee had a South
American toucan-one Of those
birds with long bin with hlue and
red and green colorlng on It, and
they wanted to have me arrested
for painting the bill Of this bird.
Now. how are such people capable
Of running the country when they
don't know a South American par
rot? II can't be done, ladies and
gentlemen.
/ offer this as an excuse for my
inability TO make speech on the
income tax law. II involves differ
entail calisthenics combined with
algebraic equations, and has so
filled my mind that ! can think of
nothing else. You must carry in
your mind first that man must
earn $1,000 year in order to be
taxable. Up 10 that point the Gov
eminent thinks him an albright
person--but at $1,000 he begins to
show signs OF danger TO the COM
munity at large.
The income tax law was gotten
up by the Democrats to annoy the
Republicans. This is how Il stands
1.-THE man who earns $4,000 has TO
pay one-elghth Of one-tenth Of one
sixteenth Of what he had before he
started. previous 10 paying bis
laundry bill, which is exactly what
his employer must have forwarded
10 the Government, My friends, I'm
sure you see how clear that tn
Now. II the same IMAM earns
$4,000 year and is married TO q
blonde and they have one child. the
Government realizes that It costs
something 20 keep this wife a
blonde. year in and year out, and
they make an exception and a re-
dnction for that. They also say. in
their graciousness. that one child Is
liable to happen TO any married
couple. so they make reduction
for that, which is only FAIR and just
buff he has second child
ah!--ahi this is getting serious,
isn't 1t. SO he has to pay extra for
that
Now. we hgure 81 that the same
man with the blonde wife and nine
children would owe the Government
In excess of the two thousand dol.
lars. S2.sS. The words OF far
reaching justice will be found on
page 1000. volume 4S. that where
as. II this man is bereft OF wife and
children the Government owes him
Sc.
I'm going 20 run for President OF
the United States in 1916. You
will be glad 20 learn that Theodore
Roosevelt viii run with me. II
happened this way: He met me on
the street and he said:
"lchee Kool l understand you're
going 10 run for President Of the
United States" and said. YES,
am
He said: well. that settles t. OF
course. II you're going to run
shall not think of running"
Then l said, For Heavens sake,
Colonel. don't feel that way about
1t. II you feel that way about 1t,
why not be Vice President with
meg"
And he said, IAN right, will IL
Bryan has no objections
And l would like to take this op-
portunity. ladies and gentlemen. Of
recommending the Colonel and my
self for your consideration and for
your votes. / know the Colonel
wouldn't Ike this--he is so modest
and retiring. I'm sure we would
make a great pair--l sing funny
songs and the Colonel goes hunting
a lot. He is great on hunting. I've