The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-08-22
ON THE GREAT WHITE WAY.
BY o. o. MCINTYRE.

] Special Correspondent Of The Washington Herah
New York. Aug. IA great many per-
sons who haven't a great deal Of respect
Tor the Trinity Corporation on account
or their Well-known and Justly famous
mercenary traits will also fail to agree
with John Monkridge. vicar OF Trinity
Chapel, who seems to think war is all
right and should DO left alone We
come TO commend rather than condemn
the professional soldier he said
Peace at any price was certainly not
taught by our Lord, and He waged no
campaign against war. for war must be
endured" Whatever the Rev. Monk
ridge may think there are quite a few
persons around New York who believe
that war is a lack of civilization in the
present instance and to call on a deity
to vanquish the enemy is as ridiculous
as II Is sacreligfous.
Slim saIee, the somewhat erratic
pitcher Of the Cardinals, is the sherif
at Higginsport. Ohio. in the winter time,
and. OF course, feels the dignity OF his
position when allied upon. Last winter
an excited citizen burst into Salee's
office and declared that robbers were
preparing to blow open the safe in the
bank. They're locking the cashier IN
the cellar and waving a bottle of nitro
glycerine and threatening any one who
comes near" said the sherin"s informant.
In that case said Salee. they evil
IDENTIFY wouldn't want me there. Why
should I disturb those robbers. They
never did me any harm"
Getting publicity out of a national sor-
row is about the limit of press agency.
but It was done in New York the other
day. A New York moving picture show
sent out notices to all the newspapers
that on the day OF the funeral there
would be no matinee at their theater.
Strangely enough every newspaper in
New York carried the announcement
one OF them on the first page. No at
that this same theater has never given
a matinee this year.
Irwin S. Cobb, the writer, told this
story at the pier shortly before the St
Paul pulled out for the European war
zone. 1t seems that down In Cobb's home
town, in Paducah, KY, a man went into
see his lawyer about a very important
case. WELL" said the lawyer. Il have
listened carefully and you have the best
case l ever heard. You simply cannot
help but win Il, whatever court you take
II TO.
Thanks" said the prospective client,
and grabbing his hat made a speedy
exit.
''what?" exclaimed the lawyer, ARE
you going?'
Yes" was the reply, Il am going to
try to settle this case out of court.
But, my dear sir. why waste money?
have just told you that's one of the
best cases I have ever heard
Maybe 1t IS" said the tickle client
Fastening down the stairs" but not for
me. 1 told YOU the other fellows story"
Leach Cross. the prize fighting dentist,
has an office up in Harlem. where, when
he is not unbuckling K. o. waIlops, he
extracts and plugs the fangs of the ma
lives. The other evening there was a |
loud and long scream which fairly !
awakened the whole neighborhood. When |
It continued for several moments a |
friend OF Leach's In the building yelled |
down: Gee, Leach, that must be a tough |
one"-meaning a stubborn molar. Get.
ting no reply. the friend went down into |
the ONCE and found IT empty. Over In |
the corner, however. was the Cross fam
ly cat-very cross-indeed. It seems the |
feline had upset table and in the fall |
her tail was caught and held fast under |
one edge.