Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1914-05-08
Fitting.

elttoNg.
Aren't some Of the hats women
wear absurd"'
"Yes," replied Miss Cayenne; "and
yet when some people put them Oil
they do look SO appropriate."-Wash.
Star. MA
A Pair Of Them.
"He looks like a fool"
But, papa, he has asked me to
marry him"
HE has? Well, don't ever tell me
can't size up people."-Houston
Post.
The "Compleat" Samaritan.
OWner-"Here, what are you do.
ing? Don't you know you re not allow
cd to take fish out Of this water?"
Angler (three hours without a bite
Pm not taking them out; I'm feed
ing them!"-Tidbits.
Cause of the Chill.
Mrs. Xavier Ito hostess's clild)-
Are you glad to see me again Edith?
. Edith-"Yes'm, and mama's glad
too"
Mrs. kaWler-"Is she?"
Edith-"Yes; she said she hoped
you'd come today and have it over
with.'-Eoston Transcript.
Their Way.
"The deaf and dumb couple in the
next fiat are having all awful row."
Are they?"
Eyes, indeed! You ought to see the
way they are handing it out to each
other"
Reason for Acquittal.
Juror-We acquitted him out Of
sympathy. '
~Friend-For his aged mother?
Juror-Oh, no; for having such Il
lawyer.
That's Going Some!
In learning the tango" Eve often,
come to harm;
I've fractured an elbow; my ankle is
SpIdIleu.
My knees are both sprung and I've
broken an arm; H..
My ~cOllarbone's cracked and my back
bone is strained;
My neck's badly twisted; my Shout
der blades split;
I've busted a leg, dislocated IA hip.
And now I'm a cripple I'm forced to
admit
That there's many q "slop" 'twixc the
"whirl' and the dip
1t Il
Not Worded the Same.
Just as the family was about to sit
down to the evening meal the minis
ter Unexpectedly dropped IN anu wal
asked to join them.
When the maid set the table she
had turned the plates bottom side up
Written on the bottom was the name
Of the manufacturer.
The ministed was asked to say
grace, and as he did so he revercntly
bowed his head above his plate.
When lie had finished the little j.
year-old daughter of the house picked
up her plate, looked at the manufac-
turer's lame closely and said: F.,
papa, it doesn't say that on my
plate"
The Difference.
Harold jerks, a syndicate editor
OF Denver, was talking about the low
rates paid by the magazines.
"They who write for newspaper
s~yndicates. where their work appears
simultaneously in forty or fifty news
papers all over the country" said Mr..
jerks, make a-good deal of money.
OF course, the magazine writer, be-
side such men, isn't one. two, three.
"A seedJ magazine writer dropped
in ON me this morning to borrow u
quarter. AS he left he said:
jerks old man, the difference be-
tween a. hen and a magazine writer
is this-while they both scratch for.
a living, the lien gets hers."-New.
York Tribune.
Much Missing. ~
A young fellow who was an invet-
crate Cigaret-smOker went to the.
country for q vacation. Reaching the
small town in the early morning, he
wanted q smoke, but there was no
store open. He saw a boy smoking
a cigaret, and approached him. say
ing: q
Say, my boy have you got anoth-
%cigaret!" -
mo. sir" said the boy; "but I've
got the makings."
All right" the city chap said. But
| cant roll 'em very well. Will you
fix II for me?
Sure said the BOY.
Don't believe I've got IL match,'
said the man as he searched his
pockets.
The boy handed him a match.
Say the boy said. you amt got
anything but the habit, have your
L%ippincott's.
TO BUILD MANY STRUCTURES.
Minot. N. D., May Work on the
new 100000 federal building for Mi
not is progressing at a rapid rate and
the contractors evidently intend to
get the building finished in record
time. A large number of teams and
men are hard at work on the exca-
vations and the foundation will be
laid next week. In fact, the. entire