davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
The Rhino Of Pompell.

Animal stories are somewhat rare
in archaeology. but these pictures will
help to tell a story which has been
occupying the serious attention OF
German antiquaries. Before the Der
lin Society of the History OF Art, Dr..
Harry David recently announced his
discovery Of a fraud" In the Naples
museum, in the shape OF the bas-relief
Of a %rhinoceros said Il have been
found at Pompeii.
The doctor triumphantly pointed on
that the bas-relief was really a copy
of a drawing by Durer in the British
museum. and that. therefore, the Ital
ians had been deceived. The Italian
authorities. however, retorted by stat
ing that the bas-relief did not appear
in any official catalogue, and that, as
a matter OF fact. the fraud" was
really the result of a book by a Ger.
man writer!
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
Why She Smiled.

There is a proprietor of a shop in
the city, a man of most excitable TEN
permanent, who is forever scolding his
clerks for their Indifference in the
matter of possible sales.
One day, hearing a clerk say to a
customer, mo. we have not had any
for a long time" the proprietor, UNI
able to countenance such an admis-
sion, began to work himself into the
usual rage. Fixing a CLASSY y on
the clerk, he said to the customer:
I'VE have plenty in reserve, ma'am;
plenty downstairs"
Whereupon the. customer looked
dazed, and then to the amazement
of the proprietor burst into hysteri-
cal laughter and quit the shop.
What did she say to your de-
manded the proprietor of the clerk.
we haven't had any rain lately"
Philadelphia Ledger.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE
Absent-Mlnded Bridegroom Had Not
Become Accustomed TO Travel
Ing With His Wife.

He stepped to the ticket seller In the
depot. "A ticket for S~queedunk.
he said.
only one?" asked the agent.
Get two" whispered the blushing
girl at his elbow. we are one. but
need two tickets"
Yes. two" stammered the young
man.
They entered the train. You don't
mind If | go to the smoker for a min
ute?" he asked.
She did not. Al least she said she
did not.
When he found the extra ticket
when the conductor called. he won
dered where it came from and why he
had II.
Guess she's in the other coach"
suggested the conductor-who knew
At the hotel he registered "Mr.-Ev-
eryman," and asked for a room.
Have one with a bath to it. sug-
gested the little woman.
He was furried. VIII write the
Mrs in. or will she sign?" he asked
the clerk.
The clerk pointed to Mrs" insert
ed a score of times. Either way; but
this seems to be the rule he said.
The young man continued the same
absentminded conduct in street car
theater, restaurant, everywhere.
Back in the hotel. in the train II
the ticket office. everywhere. mer
we're epitomizing the situation; He
only remembers that they are one
and he still thinks he's the one.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
No Beat for Him.

Young Giles. eager to join the force,
came to New York to pass the neces-
sary medical examination. This he
easily did, and the next day he was in
terviewed by a high official.
well, my man." said the latter.
you look a promising sort of fellow.
Where were you educated?"
Oh said the recruit, Il was ed
ucated at a public school,
'Ahl And you have good general
knowledge. l hopper"
"Oh, yes"
Il wonder can you tell me, for ex-
ample. how many miles IL is from New
York to Boston,"
At this the recruit became
ly agitated, and at length he blurted
out:
Look here, if you're going to put
me on that beat I'm done with the
force. Pittsburgh Chronicle : Tele-
graph.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
cuAprER xIx.-continued.

His good sense ~reasserted itself; he
obeyed. But still his face was req anu
hard. Then-though Inspector McGee
was some minutes in noting 1t con-
sciouslv-a change crossed the coun-
tenance of Resale LIE Grange. Little
nv little. the life came back. One by
one. the lights of her began twinkling
in mouth and chin and dimples. And
she spoke:
Martin MCGEE, you're free to look
for that Perez man wherever you
want. You won't get him. You'd stand
a chance if you had just him on the
other side. But you've got me, TOO.
An YOU know mel Now. listen
Maybe this is the last talk wen ever
have together, an l want to put II
straight. You're out to send that boy
to the electric chair, just like YOU'D
send a piece Of stove wood to be
burned up in the fire. You amt think
In about anythin' else. | know o
YOU and the District Attorney would
put it to the jury. He was committin
burglary-he stabbed his man-hes
dago with no pull-that talk abou
a~poplexy is to laugh. But l ask you
private-do you think he deserves ftF
We'll, that's the law. amt rE
growled MCGEE. That's what In
here for"
Rosalie's heart gave a little jump
But she controlled her expression. He
WAS willing to argue the case-the mrs
skirmish was
THE law!" exclaimed Resale. Tha
for your law! Golly, l could carry
Votes for Women banner when
think about it! You men have beef
maxim the law all these years. An
you've run it on rules-nothin' bu
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
SYNOPSIS.

Tommy North. returning to his room In
Mrs. Moore's boarding house at 2:30 a. m.
discovers the body OF Capt. John Hanska.
another roomer, with a knife wound on
his breast. Suspicion rests upon a man
giving the name of Lawrence Wade, who
had been heard quarreling with Hansk
During the excitement a strange woman
who gives her name as Resale LeGrange,
appears and takes into her own nome
across the street all of Mrs. Moore =
boarders, including Miss Estrilla, an IN
valid. whose brother was a favorite
among the other boarders. WADE Is ar
rested. Mrs. LeGrange, who. while plying
her trade as a trance medium had alae1
Police Inspector Martin MCGEE several
times, examines the house where Han
ska was killed and finds on the hre es-
cape outside Hanska's window req snoe
button. which she conceals. Mrs. LS-
Grange p%retends to go into a rance n
Miss Estrilla's room and continues Win
spirits. Rosalie finds evidence 70 snow
that Estrilla's real name Is feIez az
that they formerly lived In Port OF SPAN.
In succeeding seances Rosalie leads MISS
Estrilla to believe she is talking with the
spirit of John Hanska. With inspector
MCGEE and detectives at the windqws
Rosalie. in a final seance, leads MISS -
trilla to tell. in a supposed conVersaH
with the spirit of Hanska, that ner D ur1an-
er Juan held the knife that pierced ftan-
ska's heart. Confronted by the othcSrs
Miss Estrilla makes a full contessloh, ~
tells how Hanska secured possession "a
her Jewels and fled to New YORK ans
how She and her brother Juan had traced
him to Mrs Moore's house. She sas
that Juan, dressed in her clothes, ehteIyu
Hanska's room to search for the levers
that Hanska awoke and rushed az tne IN n
truder who picked up a knife trom ~
table to hreaten Hanska. she oetlaILs
ITanska. in his rage. was suddenly strlSh'
IN with apoplexy and fell upon the XIII
which pierced his heart. Rosalle. synipa-
thizing with Estrilla, or Perez warns M ~
and aids him to escape. MCGEE Is en-
ragged and threatens to send her 10 p1iso.
hut finally recognizes that her mouNe'
we're ~ the best.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
CHIT 1912 BOBBS -MERRILL CO

Il always maintained that" she re-
piled, her old self dancing in her
dimples.
Martin MCGEE never understood
why his defenses fell all at once. why
his arms, working as though in def
ance of his will, encircled Rosalie lie
Grange.
When, a month before, Martin SO ex-
ploded in her presence, Resale had
wrenched herself away. II she lay
unresisting in his arms now, it was
because she had seer his face. And
Resale LIE Grange knew above all
things how to read faces. She yielded
her waist, but not yet her lips.
Martin" she asked softly, lis this
on the level?"
IT'S on the level. Rose. Rose, /
don't care-for anything. l want you
to marry mel"
The doorkeeper had been told not
to disturb Inspector MCGEE. We will
join the doorkeeper. 1t seems more
t%actful. Let us merely glance in on
them ten minutes later. They are
seated again; and MCGEE is patting
her hand. ponderously but yet softly.
Rosalie's eyes, usually so big and
grave-in such contrast with her
smiles and her dimples-are shining
as we have never seen them shine be-
fore.
How did 1t come" asked Martin.
that you could ever take to a great
big COW of a fellow like me?"
The mischief danced in her dimples.
Because you are so big an mutton
headed" she said. Then the dimples
went away, and the eyes again reigned
over her expression. Because you're
a real man. Marty. Because you've
plugged ahead and done things, an
because you're a brute. too, l guess
1t amt good for a man to be too kind
an smart. That's for the woman
that's my part in this combination. An
besides, the way your hair grows il
front is cute"
Jaw, cut that out, Rosalie"-this II
a tone of infinite tenderness ton'
as playful as COMFORTS with the dig
nifty Of an Inspector.
And-but we had better rejoin th'
I dOOrman.
t Only we should glance in Just onc
more. Inspector MCGEE. as though
struck with a sudden humorous idea
= is saying:
TITS funny, Rosie-here we've go
, engaged-and l don't know your rea
name!"
That's how I'm sure you love me
Martin. When folks are in love. the.
don't ask no questions. Well. IT.
Rose Granger, If you've got to know
born Smith. A widow-sod, not grass
l married Jim Granger. He was n
good, but | cared for him till he died
You've got thirty years or so-becaus
K | sense we1l both live long-to lietel
to what Jim Granger did to me. View
other things to talk about first. Marty
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
Women Multiply Their Trouble.


The popularity of bridge has swept
all records so far this season. Any
prominent society dame gets an aver
age of. say. one invitation per after
noon. This she could manage beauti-
fully were the invitations for success
sive dates. But suppose they bunch
themselves so that she gets a half
dozen for the same afternoon? So
ciety, through necessity. has evolved
a noval plan to meet this. It Is the
substitute. By the operation Of this
plan, the much-rushed society woman
is enabled to enjoy her afternoon Of
bridge at the house she chooses, Be-
cure in the knowledge that she is be-
ing represented by her proxies in five
other homes. Bridge for bridges sake
has resulted, for the invasion OF the
proxy has done away with the social
aspect to a marked degree. But the
proxy player has come to stay, as
she is a necessity in the strenuous
life of the social swim.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23

mics. Diagrams. Did he do it? All
right. hang him. You cant look at
hings except OF the outside. | wish
you did have a few women to look at
em inside an out. Once in a while
NE of your cussed iuries uses its
common sense an lets a mar go when
y police evidence is against him
Hut they don't do It themselves. No.
1lr! It's their mothers in EN-"
THAT will do" snarled Niece; this
-uuffragette dope has nothing to do
viii the case. Where's Perez?"
Now this Perez" pursued Rosalie,
treating the Inspectors anger as
though it had not been. was a darn
5ocl-worst fool l ever saw-as those
ente little men generally are. But
What was he dom when Hanska died
Settin' his own from a crook, the prop
ekty that belonged TO him. in the only
ray he knew. Suppose it's true he
Ruled Captain Hanska-did you ever
2 a nan that deserved KILN more
4esides. he didn't"
You aren't swallowing that yarn
2 ~apopiexy. are your" asked In
&Uector MCGEE.
Az the first place" said Resale
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23

The name of Mathern is a corrup-
ton of Merthyr Tending II. e.. the
Martyr Tending. Tending or Theodor-
ic is the reputed grandfather of King
Arthur. He was king of the Ancient
Britons in Glamorgan In the sixth CEN
fury, and resigned his crown to be
come a hermit. A sudden incursion
of the Saxons. however. caused him
to resume his armor. and after a ter
rife battle at Tintern, he defeated
them. The victory. however. cost him
his life. and a church vas erected
over his grave at Mathern.
Nearly a thousand years after Bish
op Goodwin had the tomb reopened
and the bones of the sanity king were
discovered. with the skull cleft in
twain.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
emit given me an engagement

o haven't given me an engagement.
present"
You'll get a diamond solitaire as
soon as | a beat 1t uptown" said
Martin.
"Somethin' else first. l want you to
fix 1t so the New York Police Depart
ment makes an awful bluff t hndin'
Juan Perez-an' never looks in the
right place"
Il guess l a promise that. laughed
Inspector MCGEE.
"An' for a weddin' present" pur-
sued Rosalie. Il guess you can see
that this poor sister never gets put
through"
That's easy. too" replied MCGEE.
"Say-now that everything is fixed up,
where's that Estrilla-Pere person,
anyhow? What did you do with him?'
THAT information is goin' to be my
weddin' present to YOU" responded
Resale lie Grange.
ITO BE CONTINUEDO
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
He Did Pretty Well.

In that part of Kansas where they
need rain certain church congrega-
tons united to petition for it.
Didn't ! see your husband going
to church today?" one Kansas woman
inquired of another.
Yes, he went to ask for rain"
His faith must be pretty strong
Yes, he wore his raincoat and took
his over shoes and his oldest UNI
brella."
1T didn't rain"
mo. but he brought back a much
better umbrella than the one he took
away."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
Bad Misunderstanding.

When Uncle Joe Cannon was in
congress he wrote a letter to a fellow
member, who was able to decipher the
hieroglyphics with the exception Of
one word. He disliked to bother Mr..
Cannon, so he went to several friends
among the congressman, but non of
them could make out the word in
question. This word seemed very i'm
portant, as IL vas underlined. so at
last in despair the recipient thought
he would consult Mr.. Cannon himself.
Cannon looked at the letter, and then
at the congressman. and then again
at the letter, his face somewhat tax
ing on a peculiar expression. Finally
he looked at the congressman and
with mingled anger and laughter.
said: why. you fool, that wore is
confidential"
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
Well Reasoned.

A school teacher was asking If they
could tell what part Of the body was
The most i'll used.
On little boy snapped his fingers.
saying:
Yes, mum, / know"
Teacher-Well. Tommy, what Is
your answer?
Tommy-The eye.
Teacher-Why?
Tommy-Because it is under the
lash all day and gets a good hiding
at night.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23

Il had a dream the other night
said the joker at a luncheon table
recently. Il dreamed l was in busi
ness with a rich man, selling potted
flowers. But business was bad, and We
decided TO discontinue business. l
wanted the pots and flowers and tool
them What did the rich man
want?" asked n of the guests limo
Gently. He wanted the earth" re-
piled the wit.-Exchange.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
Bishops Palace Sold at Auction.

What was formerly a bishops pal
ace was offered for sale recently. in
an auction room in England. This
was the old house at Mathern. near
Chepstow.
This ancient building was for many
years the residence of the bishops OF
LANDAU, but was abandoned as an
episcopal seat in 1706
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23

"You should have seen that Gag
penter member of our club at the last
meeting when he opposed a certain
resolution"
What did he do?"
HE ioored the speaker and tabled
the resolution. Baltimore American.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
Bad Debt.

The l. w. w. brethren who insist
that society owe them a living Will
be disappointed TO learn that society
has no rating either at Bradstreet's
or Dun's.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
Always Cute"

Called to the bedside Of a fond
mothers baby boy. the doctor dag
nosed the ailment as acute rheuma-
tism. The mother responded quickly
Acute rheumatism. | might have
known it. Everything he does or says
Is just as cute"
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
Chemical Change.

Cora-Miss Fussanfeather's hair
used TO be black. 1 see it has turned
to a chestnut. How do you account
for that?
Clara believe she has been us.
ing the funny papers to do up her lair
in.-Statesmen.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
Settinn Him Rinht.

Jail Visitor-You have been tried
by adversely. my friend.
Prisoner-Iou're wrong in the
name, mister. 1t was Judge Brown.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
An Evasive Reply.

Now. why are you crying?"
My husband is so e~vasive, yelped
the bride. Every time ask him how
he likes my biscuits he tells me that
l have beautiful eyes."-Louisville
CourierJournal.
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23
Ouch.

There's a mountain in Switzerland
five miles thick. but you a sea
through it,"
GO on
sure you can. They've got a tun-
mel in it."
American Falls press. [volume] (American Falls, Idaho) 1907-1937, 1914-04-23

He stepped to the ticket seller in the
depot. "A ticket for ~Squeedunk,
Imperial Valley press. (El Centro, Calif.) 1907-current, 1914-01-10

hummocks of dust. Heavy teams draw
the machinery with which the crops
are planted and harvested.
Oranges are ripening in the yard
near the new modern bungalow that
has every convenience of comfort
able home, including fireplace and
bath.
A once lady friend presides as mis-
tress. Yesterdays New England lad
is now the owner of one of the finest
half sections in the valley. He sells
thousands of bushels of barley, wheat
and maize, while the income from his
poultry yard alone averages 500
Two thousand sheep are pas
turing in his stalk fields.
His farm is valued at $4,000. His
careful work on his own place at
tracted the attention of the officers
of the ditch company, who now keep
him on their payroll at the handsome
salary of 5000 month for portion
of his time to superintend their work.
He has neither bought nor sold land;
he is one of Imperial valleys real
builders. He is yet man of the soil.
He has capitalized dust, enthroned
labor and wrought small empire in
the desert.
Imperial Valley press. (El Centro, Calif.) 1907-current, 1914-01-10
A Cow With a Wooden Leg

New York Sun: James NJ. |. Gala
way, veterinary surgeon of Kirkintil-
loch, Scot, arrived yesterday from
Glasgow with photographs of COW
with a wooden leg on the starboard
quarter, which the veterinary says is
almost as good to the cow as an ordi-
nary leg of beef and much more effec-
tive in knocking out folks who try
to milk her on the wrong side.
Other veterinarians laughed at Gal
loway, who is young and of an ex-
perimental temperament, when he de-
cided to save the life of the cow, after
the leg had been cut off by loco
motive. He insisted on fitting the
wooden leg, which he regards as much
more useful than wooden heads or
Scotch veterinarians. ,e &.
The only time the wooden leg gets
the cow into trouble is when she
stands too long in damp field and
the leg sinks in foot or so. Mr.
Galloway is going to visit his brother
a veterinarian of Washington.
Imperial Valley press. (El Centro, Calif.) 1907-current, 1914-01-10
NeWlands Fills
Important Task

San Francisco, Jan. 10.-Six hun
dred members of the Commonwealth
Club of California at luncheon in the
Palace hotel listened to an endorse
ment by United States Senator New
lands of the purpose of the Internal
Waterways Convention of this state,
which will be held in San Francisco,
January Is, Is and II. Senator New
lands said that the United States gov
eminent has control of, not only the
navigable portions of navigable
streams, but also of the portions of
such streams that are at present I'M
navigable, as means to promote in
terstate commerce.
The time had arrived when it was
necessary to formulate some general
plan involving the appointment of a
federal commission, which shall take
into consideration all the beneficial
uses of water, so that all interests
shall be conserved. He urged that
when Congress had learned what the
people desired the proper legislation
could be secured.
The sole sovereignty of the United
States over streams was purely in
connection with navigation-with the
promotion of navigation. The SOW
ereignty of the individual states over
streams comprehended all other uses.
Hence it was necessary that the Unit
ed States and the individual states
should cooperate.
Senator Newlands quoted some fig
ures with telling effect. He said that
it had cost about S400,000,000 to con-
struct the Panama canal, but that
great work would not completely serve
the purpose in view, the promotion of
/ navigation, until all waterways in the
states were developed for transpor-
tation uses. How should the great
work begin? / All national SERVICES
having to do with the uses of water
should work together, through COM
mission that should represent the gov
ernmentaL departments of war. in
terror and commerce and labor. These
departments represented !, fifteen or
sixteen scientific services. The pres<
ident of the, United States should see
that the departments metioned should
cooperate to develop all the water
! lwsyspef Substituted States for. useful
Imperial Valley press. (El Centro, Calif.) 1907-current, 1914-01-10

purposes and to prevent the flood wa
tiers from causing destruction. which
now is estimated to represent a loss
of $200,000,000 per annum.
/ First it will be necessary that
funds shall be provided so that work
shall be consecutive, and that there
shall be no lapse in the appropria-
tions; no letup. The Newlands bill
provided for $600,000,000, to be ex-
pended at the rate of $60,000,0O0 per
annum. That might seem like a
large sum, but it would provide for
great works in all parts of the Unit
ed States. "Jim" Hill was quoted as
saying that $5,OOO,OO0,0OO must be
spent on railways in the United States
in the next few years. That would
all be paid by the people in the long
run. How small was S6O0,000,000 to
be expended for internal waterways
in comparison with $5,000,000,OO0 for
railways.
The United States had expended
S35,00O,000 per annum for the Pan
anna canal. Why should not $25,000,-
900 be added to the annual cost for
the great benefits to result from the
improvement of rivers under a COM
prehensive general plan for the good
of the entire United States?
Senator Newlands spoke of pro-
visions for the expenditure of S.
100000 per annum for the Sacrament
to and San Joaquin river systems and
100000 per annum for the Column
bia river and its tributaries.
The Sacramento and San Joaquin
valleys, really one great valley, in
cluded wonderfully rich territory 500
miles long and from so to 100 miles
wide. There was no way to control
the falling of water from the skies,
but there were ways to control the
water after it had fallen. There was
an excess of rainfall in the north and
too little in the south. Under the
operation of a proper plan the time
would come when the excess from the
north would be carried into the San
Joaquin valley; the time was predict
ed when not one drop of water would
flow into the Bay of San Francisco
and the ocean that had not first per-
formed some useful service.
The rail carriers believed now that
increased water transportation of
heavy freights would serve as an adj
junct to the business of the railways
and have ceased to protest against
carriage by water. Resistance to wa
ter transportation was at an end.
California looked for great benefits
from the Panama canal; such bene-
fits would, undoubtedly, be realized;
but the waterways of the state must
be extended as means to such end.