New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-12-13
By John KENDRICK BANGS

woinen's hats became more OF a mystery to me
than are those which truck horses wear IN md
summer with their ears sticking up through holes IN
the crown. As we drew our destination sud-
denly observed a smile breaking out on his lips and
decided twinkle in his eye.
GOOD Lord said he 1--WE only just realized that
7 have been talking you deaf dumb, and blind for
nearly t,yentvour straight hours, without giving You
a chance 10 slide in a word cdgewise. hope haven't
made YOU think life's nothing but a hat to me:
-On the contrary, said |, 1--WE learned '.. You .e
made lie worth living.
81 get so Internally interested IN my business, Snd
he apoloceticalv that sometimes don realize that
maybe the other fellow has something 10 say TOO. ]
meant TO have asked you this morning; but Slipped
ont of nv head. But III ask it now. What's your
line?7
was seized with a jocular impulse, and ] answered
instantly, Natural gas
He looked at me with a puzzled expression. Nat
ural eas2" he repeated. THAT'S a queer business.
How do YOU make your dcivcncs'
"Come around to the lecture hall with me tonight
and III show YOU, said l.
He threw his head back and roared with laughter
"Bv George, the dinners on me- he said.
lie accompanied me TO the hall that evening, and
sitting i'm the front row gazcd at me quizzcally all
through my labors-full Of sympathy and understand
ing, however,-and after the affair was over and he
joined me for my Journey to the hotel he slapped
me hard on the back.
"Somc gas, all right said he. q wouldn't blow
that out II ! could
Which | took To- be one Of the most genuine comph-
ments have ever received.
JHAVE never in any Of my trips felt myself IN danger
of assassination, and yet one Of these chance ac-
duaintanccs of mine involved me by his love OF praci-
cal Joking in an implied ultimaun from stranger -
a most awe-insDiring nature In leaving California
I ftu a
Of other travellers lust inside the rear door OF the OBJ
scryation car The train had come to a sudden stand
still alongside a row Of hourshng olive trees ana me
travelling man Of remember correctly he was 10 GUS
pendars what Darwin was TO the Origin OF species
;un,Dcd from the platform and plucked handful Of
their fruit from branches ovcrhangng the border Of
the road Three Of these he passed IN TO me- ana m
theinnocencc Of my young heart Immediately pumped
one of them into my mouth. and bit into It,
The result shall not attempt to describe. Our dc
tionarics have at least dozen separate ana ds'h'l
terms siqnfving that which IS bitter no single one oil
which is adequate even 20 intimate he s'"I N"."l.C'
There are such expressions as gall and Worm"ood
there are adcctivcs involving such qualifications Of
taste as ~acrd "nauseous,' sharp, "tangE, sting
inc ~rough~ and "gamv." None surilei. have
tasted rue have tasted alocs, have tasted quassa'
and have nearly died OF squllS. As small boy once
started in 70 chew ourgran quinlne p tina, Aad oe,n
rolled with no ameiorating ingredient 10 take Oh me
tang of it, But never in my life before or since nave
tasted anything comparable to that olive Tor pure u-
adulteratcd accrbtv 1t was an OsSa OF Gall piled OH
a P.lion Of Wormwood.-I might say that it repre-
scntcd the complete reunion Of that Gall which the
historians Of the past have told us was divided INTO
three parts, and | suffered
accordingly.
But when | saw that 'rav-
= cling mans eye full OF twink
II ,i=J ling JOY fixed upon me ] rec
= Il solved not to let him know
~ that the horrid thing was not
- y &-M thn ,,-n-t axnu.-a lIl Of am