davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
Real Tranedx Of the STAGE.

A beautiful actress, Fraulein Oar
mer, was killed by accident recently,
while playing at the Theater of Va
rieties at Berne, Switzerland. The last
act Of the comedy, "The Pride Of the
Third Company" was coming to an
end when Fraulein Darmer fell
through defective stage trap to a
distance of six feet and fractured her
skull The actress was carried uncon-
scious to her room and doctor was
in prompt attendance, but the case
was beyond his help. and as the cur
tain fell on the comedy on the stage
the girl died. Neither the members of
the company who took the final "call''
nor the public, who wondered why the
actress did not appear, had the slight
est idea of the tragedy that had oc-
CURED behind the scenes.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
Sporting Instinct Aroused.

The street-corner orator had gath
cred around him a group of urchins.
Why they listened so attentively he
didn't understand; nor probably did
they know themselves. Simply moth
ing doing. But the orator took full
advantage of his opportunity, and de-
livered an improving lecture on the
value of kindness to dumb animals At
the end he sought for some illustra-
tion to point the moral and adorn the
tale. It was there at hand. Across
the way walked a lady, leading two
little dogs in leash. The one was black
and the other white. Now exclaimed
the tub-thumper, after what | have
said, supposing those two dear little
dogs were to start lighting, what
would be the first thing you would
do?" No answer came at first; but
one little arab turned to look at the
dogs critically and thoughtfully. We'll.
guv-nor," he answered, at last, T fink
I'd ave tuppence on the little black
uni"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
AwoKE THE HUNTER INSTINCT


Gilbert Parker, the English author,
tells Of an English gentleman, who re
Gently came to this country to visit
some friends in California. in com
mon with most travellers he supposed
game was plentiful everywhere in that
state, SO he carried with him the nee
essary guns and ammunition.
"As his train neared San Bernard
ino-just before making the noun
tain climb-the was a delay. Sew
eral hours passed, and still the train
remained stationary; and our traveller
friend grew FESTIVE, and sought the
porter of the Pullman car to ascertain
the cause Of the delay.
1T seems that in mounting the
grade a freight train had broken apart,
the rear portion having descended the
grade and blocked the track. The por-
ter informed him Of the accident to
the freight train, and said, There Is a
caboose on the track
Immediately the hunter instinct
was awakened; Fastening to his berth,
he procured his gun and started for
the door saying:
Show it to me! Show 1t to mel \
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
FURNISHED BOND OF AMlTY
Discounted "Good Samaritan" the I'm
willing Means Of Bringing Rival
Humorists Together.

Once upon time two humorists
dWelt in the same small town and both
contributed to the Sunday Star. AS
was but natural, they became wildly
jealous of each other, and when one
would win little more prominence
than his fellow the other would have
seven kinds of fits. Your Pleasant
Valley Items give me pain!" quoth
one. Your prose rhymes make me
I'LL" retorted the other, AS they were
about to come to blows there APP
peared on the scene a Good Samaritan
and to him they appealed. Which Of
us is the funnier?' they asked Meth
err" was the prompt reply. You are
both as unfunny as wart hogs, and as
tiresome as a trip across the Sahara!"
TheTeat they both set upon the gen
tleman from Samaria and beat him
full sore, and dwelt together in amity
forever after. "a egsz
Moral: From this we should learn
that while humorists delight in quar-
reling among themselves, they fire..
quently resent criticism from outsid-
ers-Kansas City STAR.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
MAN AGREES TO COMPROMISE
Actor Who Appreciated His Value,
Was Not Willing to Play for Less
Than Regular Price.

A partner in one Of the theatrical
production firms Of the city of New
York had occasion to hire an actor
to play small part in drama he
was putting on. A rather well-known
actor, who valued himself and his
art with proper appreciation, ap-
piled for the place.
you play a fullblooded Sioux IN
dian" explained the manager. The
salary is $50 week"
MY dear boy said the actor, in
d panied tone. "Tve never worked
for less than 500. A hundred dollars
is my regular price
Fifty dollars!" said the manager,
calmly. Take it or leave it. The
actor thought it over minute
I'll take it.. he said, but can't
play full-blooded Indian for $50. Ill
play him as a half-breed " Saturday
Evening Post. l6
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
CHILDREN MAY SEE PARADE
Announcement Of School Principal
Brings Some Characteristic Notes
From Fond Parents.

~ -
Children who bring written re-
quests from their parents may be ex-
cused to see the circus parade" the
school principal announced. Here are
some of the notes that were handed
to the teachers:
Please live Pearl to go to the pa
rade 10 O'CLOCK out OF school"
The Teacher Of Morris Glass.
Kindly allow my child to 60 home
timely from school SO he should be
able to see the circus parade"
my dear Miss Kindly excuse Bees
sic at 10 o'clock so as to enable her
to see the parade (circus) as / know
she will greatly benefit by it and
oblige her mother
Dear Teacher! Please let Louis
Gou to The Parade of the Sircus."
Please let lizzie go to the perade
on Monday and tuesday"
Please agsus Katie for the Peray
Monday
will you please let Louis out at 10
o'clock to Sc the Surces, for he is
very anxious to see it."-Newark
News.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17

50 poorly that my folks thought ] was
going into consumption. One day II
found piece Of paper blowing around
the yard and I picked itup and read il.
It said Saved from the Grave and
told what Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE Compound has done for women. I
showed it to my husband and he said,
Why don't you try It'll So ] did, and
after had taken two bottles ! felt
better and said to my husband, I don't
need any more, and he said You had
better take it little longer anyway.
So !. took it for three months and got
well and strong. " Mrs. ALoNzo E.
BAKER, Tecumseh St, Adrian, Mich.
Not Well Enough to Work.
In these words is hidden the tragedy
of many woman, housekeeper or wage
Garner who supports herself and is often
helping to support a family, on meagre
wages. Whether in house, Office, fac
tory, shop, store or kitchen, woman
should remember that there is one tried
and true remedy for the ills to which all
women are prone, and that Is Lydia =.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. It
promotes that vigor which makes work
easy. The Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine
Co., Lynn. Mass.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
A Fish story.

THE inns Of dear old England are
picturesque said Richard LIE Gal
lienne, on his return from abroad, "but
the food they serve is something ter
rible.
After visit to Blenheim palace /
entered an inn in the quaint village of
Woodstock. AS lunched-or tried to
lunch-my landlord said to me:
THE great dock of Marlborough
once sat in that chair you're settin'
in, sir
IS that SOP said l.
And the dock once drunk is beer
out O that same mug you're a-drinkin'
out Of.
"'And ! bet said !, i bet he refused
to eat this fish, too Well, take it away,
my man. don't want it. either ~
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
WRONG BREAKFAST.
Change Gave Rugged Health.

Many persons think that for
strength. they must begin the day
with a breakfast of meat and other
heavy foods. This is a mistake as
anyone can easily discover for him
self.
A Viva carpenters experience
may benefit others. He writes:
Il used to be very heavy break
fast eater but finally indigestion
caused me such distress, became
afraid to eat anything.
my wife suggested trial of Grape
Nuts and as had to eat something
or starve, concluded to take her
advice. She fixed me up a dish and
remarked at the time that the quail
ity was all right, but the quantity was
too SMALL wanted saucerful.
"But she said a small amount of
Grape-Nuts went long way and that
! must eat 1t according to directions.
So started in with Grape-Nuts and
cream, two soft boiled eggs and some
crisp toast for breakfast.
II cut out meats and a lot Of other
stuff I had been used to eating all
my life and was gratified to see that
! was getting better right along. /
concluded had struck the right thing
and stuck to it. I had not only been
eating improper food. but too much.
Il was working at the carpenters
trade at that time and thought that
unless had hearty breakfast with
plenty Of meat, I would play out be-
fore dinner. But after few days of
my new breakfast" found ! could
do more work. felt better in every
way, and now ] am not bothered with
Indigestion
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Greek. Mich. Read "The Road to Well
ville," In pkgs. There's a Reason"
liver read the above Ietterf new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine true, and fuIl Of human
interest.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
HOW He TURNED THE TRICK
After This, Mr.. MordecaI Hanmerfest
Must BE Credited With Knowing
Thing or TWO.


Mrs. Mordecai Hammerfest turned
pale as her husband entered the din
ing room for breakfast.
Mordy!" she gasped. do you
don't you feel well?"
Perfectly he replied in seeming
surprise. s
"But-Out, you are in your-your
underdudsl" :
Tell me something don't know.
Pass the butter, please = said Mr.. Ham
merfest.
She passed the butter, remarking
nervously, But, Mordy, dear, as you
came in saw you didn't have any
shoes on
We'll. what Of it. Your hair is in
curl papers, isn't it,"
''Why-y-yes.'
And you have on a wrapper,
haven't you?"
Yes
Very we'll, then"
And he went on eating his break
fast in silence except when he asked
her to pass the butter. Then he went
upstairs and finished dressing, and the
next morning and on succeeding morn
ingS she reported for breakfast in reg
ular clothes.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
Marriage Causes False Fire Alarm

Marriage Causes False Fire Alarm.
Seven minutes Of blasts from the
whistle Of the Passaic Metalware com
pany. in honor of the marriage Of the
daughter of the superintendent, re-
Gently turned out five volunteer fire
departments. The fog made the whis-
tie audible in Rutherford. Nutley,
Belleville, Garfield and Clifton and the
hremen rushed to headquarters at the
alarm.
1t took half an hour to determine
where the whistling came from. The
wedding which caused the commotion
united Miss Sallie Karp. 217 Brook
avenue, Passaic, to Michael F. Ber-
nan. New York Mail.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
Bless the Ladies.

Our congressional committee heard
80 ladies in two hours. That many
men could have kept us listening for
several days"
That shows that women can trans
act public business. But how did
they manage to crowd 80 speeches
into two hours?I
"Oh, they spoke three and four at
a time" kansas City Journal.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
At the Club.

II see" remarked one clubman to
another, that it is said radium high
balls will soon be served"
And by one of those remarkable
condolences which are continually
occurring in life, before the friend
could answer, the orchestra struck
up. Has Any One Here Seen Kelly ?"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
The Motor Enthusiast.

could you tell me where could
get some giant firecrackers 2" said the
determin looking woman.
We can order them for you," re-
piled the merchant Might l inquire
what you want with them?"
ITO wake my husband He has got
so he pays no attention to an alarm
clock The only thing that will arouse
him is noise like bursting auto
mobile tire
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
eoInn the Limit

Josiah" said Mrs. Corntossel,
you're going to church right regular
now
Eyes. ! want to learn as much
about heaven as possible. I'm getting
up a prospectus for the summer ho-
tel we're going to start and ] want as
many attractive ideas as can get"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
COULD NOT
STAND ON FEET
Mrs. Baker So Weak Could
Not Do Her Work Found
Relief In Novel Way.
Adrian, Mich. - " suffered terribly
with female weakness and backache and

got so weak CnaC l
could hardly do my
work. VIII en- /
washed my dishes I
had to sit down and
when ! would sweep
the floor ! would get
SO weak that / would
have TO get q drink
every few minutes,
and before / did my
busting Iwould have
to lie down. / got
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
a Rounh Road.

MY dear sir said the philosopher,
when we look about US and see the
troubles that affiict other people, we
ought to rejoice that our own paths
through life are made smooth"
Your path may be smooth" sighed
the pessimist, but laundering big
steam roller would have to make a
great many trips over mine before
the bumps in it were pressed out"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
Graceful Golf.

Our friends idea of using BIZ
cycle to get over the golf links didn't
become very popular
No." replied Mr.. Dustin Stax. But
I'm at work on new one that'll be
a wonder. I'm going to carry around
an orchestra. and instead of walking
over the course we'll tango"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
No Inconvenience.

This having several kinds Of time"
said the plumber to the carpenter.
gets me all mixed up. What do you
think about it,"
1T don't bother me in the least"
replied the carpenter, because my
watch is never right, anyway"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
A Husky Favorite.

How is your boy doing at col
lege?' als
Well" replied Farmer Corntossel,
II don't s'pose he's much fur Greek
an Latin, but they do tell me he's
mighty highly considered by the
boys when they have little job o.
HAHN on hand"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
Method.

do you regard Is as a lucky mum
ber?"
No. ! never do any work on the
18th OF the month nor on Friday. And
in this way manage to keep pretty
well rested. Superstition isn't such
bad thing if you know how to
use IT,
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
Pa knows Everxthlnn.

Willie-Paw, what is the age of dis
erection?
Paw-That's when man. gets old
enough to keep his face closed when
he has nothing to say, my son.-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
lThe AandIcapped Ilandahake.

your constituents will be watt
ing to give you the glad hand. sup
pose"
Pm afraid not" replied Senator
Sorghum. Judging by the way they
have been writing letters to me a large
percentage of them must have pen
paralysis by this time"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
Early ResuIts.

You don't mean to say your garden
is already a SUGGEST"
Eyes, sir"
'But a garden is not supposed to
produce so early"
Mine does. have dug sir cans OF
the finest fishing worms / ever saw"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
when He Takes His Leave.

Her Dad-Mary. what time did that
young man leave last night7 / didn't
hear him say good night.
His Daughter - No, father. He
doesn't say it.-Judge.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
he.ard al the came.

HeA-Well. how do you like base
ball?
She lat her first game)-It's per.
fectly lovely. But why do they have
those policemen about? oh, know,
it's to prevent the men from stealing
bases
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
His Wish.

She during the squarreD-I only
married you to spite Fred johnson.
He (ruefully)-I wish to heaven
you'd married Fred Johnson to spite
me.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
Fortified.

III never speak to you again as
long as live," exclaimed the temper
amental girl.
"Haw! Hawl" rejoined the practi-
cal youth. You can't help yourself.
rye got some Of your songs and rec
itations on my photograph" III
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17

One size smaller after using Aliens Footase, the
Antiseptic powder to be shaken into the Shoes Il
makes tight or new shoes feel easy. Just the thing
for dancing. Refuse Substitutes. For FREE trial
package, address Allen 9. Olmsted, Leroy, N. 2.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
A. the Salon

How much is the admission to the
exhibition
zone dollar"
Then for me it will be only SO
cents; have only one eye. IL Illus
tration.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
DRAWING the Lono Bow.

Hokus--I once saw an Egyptian
smoking an Egyptian cigarette.
Pokus-I'm better liar than you
are. once saw Turk taking Turk
ish bath.-Judge.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
Defined.

Pa, what. is theorist?"
"A theorist, son, is person who
puts up the talk and expects some
body else to put up the money
Baltimore Sun.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17

Auto Here's a new inven.
ton. This machine contains small
ice chest.
The Speeder Doesn't attract me- !
never stop to pick up the things
kill.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17

1t requires considerable tact to re-
member a woman's birthday and to
Sorget her age.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
Rotation Of Tools.

Your garden will be late"
Pm afraid SO; but you see the
Bradleys are still using Folsom's
spade and hoe. "-Boston Transcript
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
Modern War.

Captain"
YES, sir"
Throw out a few skirmishers In
biplanes and search those clouds yon-
der for ambushed airships."
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17

Only a fool man would think of
Judging woman's cooking by the
apologies she makes for it.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17

Don't follow your inclinations un-
less you know where they're leading
you.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17

A woman loves a man in proportion
to his ability to make her angry
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
That's Settled.

Bobbie (who has been sent over for
the fifth time to find out how Mrs.
Brown is)-All right. ma; she's dead.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17

YOUR OWN DRUGGIST WILL TELL YOU
Try Murine Bye Remedy for Red, Weak, Watery
Eyes and Granulated Eyelids; No Smarting-
sust Eye Comfort Write for Book of the Rye
By mail Free. Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17

When relatives do favor they new
er allow the recipient to forget it.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
TWO Kinds.

"Of course, you are a reformer?"
Eyes"
But which kind? Are you one of
those who get out and hustle and help
or one of those who sit around and
think up people who ought to be ar
rested?"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17

If woman didn't carry a watch
she would never know how late
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17

Wifey-How does my new spring
hat look?
Hubby-Well, 1t looks like weeks
salary to me. but it probably looks
like 80 cents to any other man.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
What He Did.

He lost his head"
What happened?"
Later he made lot OF excuses
to save his face.-Detroit Free Praas.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
both Imposed Upon.

6otn imposed Upon.
Deserted Wife telling grocer her
troubles -And trusted him SO.
Grocer Confound it! So did /.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-07-17
A WomanI,a oplnlon.

Mistress Haven't you any refer
ences?
Maid-I have, but they're like my
photographs of them do me
justice.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-06-05
The Public Can Do 1t

- HOP EARLY shop early
shopping shopping and apparent
eastern cities that
the Saturday working shortened than
formerly: close all Saturday.
Merchants generally recognize statesmen
in all retail
mercantile establishments initiative the
Flowers themselves purely
the store good the rule nowadays
Stores employees to be
highly attractive to the public
The public after really matter closing Stores in
Fl Paso used open Since the
shortened nothing; accustomed itself to
sched eandbu the
Owing partly prevailing Saturday payday, there
i still good trading requiring
5utv until hardship,
sought giving time off the week The
difficulty
or1ustta their trade.
Saturday
generally
proportion Of
Monday could brought
dctOn believed
object change
the Saturday pressure in all inesO Of
would naturally distribute itself
concentrate Saturday
Saturday night
payday
The public
early in the day
Saturday. nd
trading conditions
public this Initiative everybody gamer
all
changes its buying and habits the viii quick change
holiday
e Paso exception Saturday night shopping
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-06-05
And 1t Pays

AZ TITH THE country,
wv the
activity Mexico Arizona and
sparsey settled the problem is difficult
the first
Of the Soughs
smooth the Of the rocky stretches ditch the roads
hills comparatively little intervals
tourist commercial traffic
grading surfn could along
available;
spots systematically
California spending
getting for the 1915 tourists the
tint S advertising
e
And
afford getting
afford to overlook strategic
importance this city plans
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-06-05

At meeting Of the FL Paso Bar as
ISOLATION yesterday afternoon, resolu-
tons Of respect TO the memory OF the
late Judge F. B. Sexton were passed
EulOgies on the life and character OF
the deceased were delivered by judge
Peyton F. Edwards. judge A. VI Wal
than and T. J. Beall.
County surveyor A. II. Parker win
leave this afternoon with a party OF u
to survey the lands recently transferred
from the public domain to the public
school lands. The members Of the par
ty are A Foster. J. r. Randolph.
James Hague, Philip Weber. Charles
Whitaker, A Alderete. f. Sparks. j.
Owen and p. BareIa. They viii begin
at monument No. Z, near the New Mex
leo line.
The school board met last night I'm
regular monthly session. There were
present c. r. Morehead, f W. Gala
CHER. N. O. Wright, Z. A. Shelton, J. F.
Williams and W c. Pew; absent, W. r.
Martin superintendent G. p Putnam
submitted an estimate Of the cost Of
the schools for next term as follows:
Salaries Of 40 teachers, $50. 65S.04- jani-
tors. insurance and incidentals, S4725:
total, S35,3S3 The secretary was au-
thorized to draw warrant for $50 in
favor Of G. ". Hare, manager Of "Quien
Sabe," the high school paper.