The Washington herald., 1914-04-24
Statesmen, Real and Near.
BY FRED c. KELLY.

II you or-I. patient, sad-eyed reader.
were desiring to buy, let US say, mule.
We would simply go to them that sell.
look over the spring stock Of mules, pick
out a nice one. pay our money and go
our way. That would be all there would
be to it.
But when che government buys a mule
l-ah, what n grave, momentous, and COM
plicated thing il may become.
! For example the purchase Of a mule In
Honolulu may completely upset the peace
and dignity OF high officials Of the Unit
ed States Treasury.
One morning Byron r. Newton. Assis-
tant Secretary of the Treasury, came to
his desk feeling well fed, in excellent
spirits, and as care-free as IL he had
not worry in the world. The first thing
he picked UP from his desk was a re-
quest from the chief quarantine officer in
the public health service of Hawaii, for
permission 20 buy a new mule to replace
one that was run down in health. 1t was
an urgent case. the letter said, for they
! simply had to have a mule, so would the
proper official Of the Treasury Depart
ment, please rush permission at once?
! But urgent or not, Newton found him
self all snarled up with precedent and
custom to such an extent that he was
Obliged to know more about the case
Just how i'll was the mule they already
/ had? Might IL rot perhaps get well and
| be its old self again? These were ques-
tions that had to be answered. So he
wrote back for fuller particulars.
In due course he received a letter from
the chief quarantine officer at Honolulu
inclOsing a grave communication from
the Territorial veterinarian, who wrote
in this sad strain:
Pursuant to your request I have this
day examined an old brown mule which
has been used by your department for
several years for general work on
Quarantine Island. The examination
failed to show anything materially wrong
with the animal except advanced age.
while standing still. but when led around
Il appeared to be extremely nervous, as
II afraid of falling down and did in fact
knuckle over a couple of times in a man
ner which | fear would have resulted in
"A fall, had not the animal been on guard
against it. This condition must be as
cribed principally to old age or senile-de-
Eility, somewhat resembling locomotOr
ataXia in man. Under no circumstances
should this animal he taken into town
as it is likely TO fall and iniure itself
severely il unduly excited on hard rough,
or slippery pavement"
When Newton got that far it was all
he could do to keep from bursting right
into tears. But he knew that he must
try TO bear up, for if he gave way 10
his emotions. his work would suffer and
that might hinder the work of the en-
tire department. Still, il was tough to
think Of that poor old brown mule away
on in Honolulu, struggling against loco
motor ataxIa. while ne. Newton, sat at
mahogany desk in Washington unable
TO offer il 50 much as a wisp of hay.
Even as he thought of these things
another letter came from the chief
quarantine officer at Hawaii. with later
and even sadder developments:
Il have the honor to report that the
brown mule at the station fell down
while httched to the wagon, and"
Have the honor to report is good
murmured Newton to himself
The mule and his mate were pur-
chased from the army in 1904" the
letter went on They were not young
mules even then"
Thus the full pathos of the situa-
tion began to dawn upon Newton. He
could picture the mule and its mate
telling through life together year
after year. even after reaching time
of life when they might be willing to
retire from active work and let their
tasks fall Upon younger shoulders.
The letter outlined in solemn detail
what the varied and manifold duties
OF the mule had been. confirming the
impress on that it's life had been one
comparatively devoid of sunshine or
friv"lity. and ended up with an appeal
that an order granting permission TO
buy a younger and heartier mule be
sent by cable.
And. indeed. would il not have been
an inhumane government that would
hav- qui5hled over a few dollars cable
toll in a case like that?
tCoryright. 1914. by Fred c Kelly. All rights re-
sTTed.l