Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1914-12-18
PERVERTED PARAGRAPHS.

PERVERTED PARAGRAPHS.
The news from the Falklands has
put curl in the lions tail.-Journal.
And a crimp in-but the Kaiser was
sick that day.
The movement for better babies
doesn't seem to have had results, etc.
Richmond Journal.
1t has out here; Billy Bakers latest
is girl.
Germany's Ethics Defended.-Topic
III Literary Digest.
That would neccessitate a longer
LATHE lire than from Verdun to the
Channel.
Vice Admiral Craddock has been
avenged
Whercupon Patrick O'Shannessy re-
marked, "Phwhat pity the pore felly
didn't live to see ut"
George" in consultation with Gen.
Joffre and Field Marshal French
Censured Dispatch.
Pretty well censored. What was
Georges" other name?
The Pope pleads for an armisticc
for Christmas.-Press Dispatch.
Did the President of the United
States join in this prayer, or is it
considered "inopportune
What about that Zeppelin invasion
OF England ?-Exchange.
Arthur Billiard in Outlook on Dec.
8, says that Zeppelin have not
been used for bomb dropping.
Used largely for bugaboo pur-
poses.
Will MIR. Wilson abolish the Pork
Barrel nuisance Post.
Hope he will advise Commission
OF Army Engineers to pass on every
project of river and barber improve
ment.
Glass and Pollard seem busy mall
ing up their minds.-Blue-Ligh Bap-
fist.
Why not pull straws! The longest
to take choice. Then we'd know"
you know.
Germans capture town with unpro-
nounceable name.-United Press.
"e"iiihS idSuSSE. why uluil I
the fool censor cut il out. Name must
have been dropped on it from Zop-
pelin.
A war ship is battle either abso-
lutely safe or death-trap. 1t de-
ponds on range.-Journaps Expert.
If Admiral Craddock could talk he
might mention some other "condi-
tons"
There's fine picture of President
Gutierrez in the Outlook. Will he sue
coed?
Mexico, John Pcerv might give him
job in the "Packin'" House.
Carnegie, who built the Peace Pal
ace, says that Christmas truce for
the armies would be Bristol
Herald.
How many millions has he given to
put an end to war, and yet not word
for weeks rest for the armies.
Japanese-American relations at
crisis!-Herald.
DR.. Gulick, who seems to be Jap
AIMED American, says the Presidents
desire for bigger navy will cause dis
trust ut Toxic. The doctor should
have Il "von" in front of the Gulick.
People who think the sea-mines are
dangerous ought have known some
thing of the mines in Colorado.-Jour
nal.
Good for you. But the Presidents
plan in Colorado may be applied ia
ter on" to make sea travel safe for
the American tourist.
The neurology of 1914 will embalm
many famous names in the Valhalla.--
The Canto.
And in the foremost roster will the
shades of Admiral Mahan, the fore
most American naval officer, and Gen.
Chaffee, who commanded American
troops and rebuked the plundering
Germans at Tiensin in the Boxer re-
hellion
The great achievement of the week.
Correspondent.
Abiding to the destruction of Ad-
miral Won Spies squadron; but the
Indian (British) troops did something
bigger. They annexed the better part
OF the Babylonian Empire with it's
capital, Kurna, on the Gulf of Persia,
| and including the famous grass field
where the great ancestor of all the