New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-03-01

seemed to be looking for some particular Oh
iect. Not finding it, he nudged the musician,
and the colorcd man obliged with casey
tones" During the fourteenth or tltteenth
verse of this classic a look OF satisfaction
apDeared in the eyes OF his employer. lie
stopped the singer, raised his hat tor a sec
ond. gazed majestically over the heads OF
the audience, cleared his throat, and started.
TADEES and Gentlemen said he, and
IL from the way he said it anybody could
tell that this was not the speaker tlrSt at
tempt at spellbinding. LADIES' and Gentle
men. many thousands of years ago solomon
in All His Glory said to the Queen OF 9heDa.
with whom he was very friendly, Queen.
said he, there's nothin new under the sun
An he spoke the truth. From time to time
some wise guy busts into print with the
statement that he's stumbled onto some new
an marvellous invention, that ne diScoN
cred bran new cure for all the known an
unknown diseases. These people are either
kjddin' themselves or kddin' you. II they re
kiddin' themselves. they're crazy IN inc
head. likewise ignorant. an headed Stral8HI
for the bughousc. Solomon IN All Ills Glory'
LADIES' an Gentlemen, was right mere
ain'f notbin' new under the sun. An m
here tonight to prove II. The take inVeh,
tions. the fake curc-alls, the so-caIlcd new
minerals, vegetables, an styles IN iGlnaie
dress. was all known 70 our ancestors Kad-
TIM was known in the Stone Age the ancient
Egvptians wore slit skirts, the science OF
medicine was dopcd out complete before
Noah built the Ark. an sccdlcss oranges was
common wen Mr.. Burbank's forctathcrs
was swingin' by their tails on trees.
tfr..- rt.ffr
this cvcnin' | want 10 tell YOU good people
that I'm in hearty sympathy with your
movement TO crush the liquor evil Vine
i q rnocl,er. an strong drink is ragin!
There's no doubt about it, An one OF the
least apprcciatcd an most misunderstood
men in the world is the undertaken In the
hour Of trouble. in the time Of sorrow. who
is II sees his duty an does 1t; | ask you.
It. the undertaken. He's public bcne-
factor, To show my sympathy with the
two mammoth conventions v'ich are 10 be
held I'm your city tomorrow I'm gon 10 ask
my friend here to sing in a minute those two
soul-movin' ballads, The Face on the Bar
room Floor an The Baggage Coach
Ahead.
40 return 20 my subject an get done
with II So the free concert can 60 on, want
to tell YOU good people that vile tins IS the
first time I've been in your beautiful city
I've enjoyed the honor, pleasure, an dis
| tinc'ion Of visiting most OF the other popu-
lated ccntcrs of the globe. From the tender
age of ten I've been a wandcrer on the tace
Of the earth. rs a sailor, soldier, a inyes-
-igator. an a lecturer I've plowcd the seas
from the Land of the Midnight Sun to the
hcat-infcstcd regions Of the equator. We
seen the queer people Of Europe, Africa
Asia. South America, India, China, and the
far-of Malay Archipelago. Eye lived IN the
same house with the disgustln head hunters
of Borneo, I've gazed on the rumbln Car
Of Iuggcrnaut with the human blood clotted
on its orriblc w'ccls. I've seen acres Of chrys-
anthcmums wavin' in the breeze OF tar.oi
Japan, I've climbed the steppcs OF Roosha'