Evening star., 1914-09-26
HEARD AND SEEN HERE AND THERE.
By Earl Goodwin.

suspects a person you may be sure
that the suspicion is as firmly seated
in that Briton as are the foundations
of the British empire. You may be
sure that the suspicion which alights
upon the suspected one at Plymouth
will continue all through Merrie' Eng
land, along the route Of the Great
Northern, upon the downs around
the lakes and lochs and through the
heather and gorse until the tour ends
somewhere in the Hebrides, where they
make the tweed that smells of peat.
Those travellers who are suspected OF
being Germans or German sympathlZ-
ers in England are thoroughly sus-
pected, you may rest assured of that.
These remarks are induced by the ex-
perience of Charles II. O'Rourke, who
is as good an Irishman as ever set foot
in New Orleans. The O'Rourke is one
of the numerous cousins of cousin
Bob" Broussard, representative from
Louisiana, and he ran afoul Of the
British suspicion all through Great
Britain despite the fact that he has a
name of Hibernian origin, whichs1no
one oculd fail to recognize. and fine
Hibernian face that none but British
customs official would fail to pass on
it's own merits.
ORourke landed at Plymouth and pre-
sented certain necessary passports and
credentials, one of which has the name
of Martin Behrman curled up in Teu-
tonic splendor in one corner. cannot
tell you what the paper was. except
that it was an essential instrument;
but if O'Rourke had been Juggling
around a German cheese or a Berlin
accent it could not have caused him
more trouble than the name of Martin
Behrman at the corner of that paper
Martin Behrman is not a German. He
| is mayor of New Orleans. However
| when the Plymouth official read the
paper and saw the name he shuddered
Behrman did not sound good to him.
Mayor Behrman" sounded to his ears
just like the name Of some stout Teu-
| tonic party who holds forth in
| walled city whose name ends in berg.
1t reminded the Briton of the kaiser. He
shook his head and called his superior
| Now this person had on a uniform
that would make George Harries look
like a drummer boy. Almost any British
( uniform would do that, by the way. for
they begin on gold lace and wondrous
! tunics when a man gets to be station
! agent at a reasonably thriving town, and
then work up in terrific leaps of gran
the king. And a customs official is sew
eral steps ahead of a station master
SO you see he was pretty well decorated
when he came over to sniff at O'Rourke
| You say you are an Americana" he
asked. in crisp speech.
81 certainly did-from New Orleans
La" said O'Rourke.
The superior officer gazed at the name
Martin Behrman with all the suspicion
| in his makeup 1t looked as German as
sauerkraut to him. He studied the text
of the paper. and then looked stolidly at
O'Rourke. Then he looked at the sigma
ture and then again at ORourke, and
after examining eRourke he said:
"Haw""
Whereupon all the underoff1cials said
"Hawi Haw!'
O'Rourke squirmed. He hadn't the
! slightest idea what was going to happen,
he had reasonable hopes that the worst
| had not arrived, and that it had no in
tention of arriving.
Now, there isn't any climax to this
story. If there was it would be better. 1t
simply peters out with gazing and sus-
pectng of the official. He suspected and
suspected, but consultation with official
| lists and publications assured the official
that New Orleans is in the United States
of America that it is neutral port
who is an American and not German
| official, and that O'Rourke had all the
| right in the world to be carrying that
| curled-up Teutonic name on his papers,
picion trailed him all through England.
and that wherever he went baleful
glances were cast upon him just because
f. the citizens Of New Orlesns picked Mar
tin Behrman to be their mayor.
:: x x X
There has always been a suspicion in
New York that certain Of the fine arts
1 4,
Chicago And this proves it,: The best
mother-in-law on earth Gf. wasn't
afraid shed chide me I'd mention her
name) was in Chicago once. looking over
those benighted objects which Chicago
ignorance has draped with the general
term of architecture. The sight Of them
took from her mind a name that she
was about to utter. She saw some
columns that were nightmares based on
mixture of Corinthian lines and a
word ''corinthian" in her shock at the
sight of the Chicago monstrosities:
What is the word / want to say?'
she pleaded. Those columns are no,
mo. they are marble" hastily an.
swered her Chicago friend.
| Which goes to prove everything they
have ever said about Chicago.
| & * x*
"Nympo" Jones, who used to be a re.
porter on The Star and is now consul
general at Genoa, Italy, his hands full
of troubles with refugees and war en-
tanglements of all sorts, has to look
over his list of applicants for relief
with about as keen an eye as did the
| plymouth customs official who smelled
German beer in the very curl of the
signature of Martin Behrman." Ac-
cording to 'Nympo." the faker is wax.
ing rich in various ways through the
medium of imposing on the .unsuspect-
ing person in Europe. who can hardly
| take a chance and turn down case
which might really be deserving.
| For instance. a chap who was unmis-
| takably French thought he would get
little help from the American consul
general at Genoa to get to the U. s. A
He approached the consular Office with
considerable swagger and asked fol
| help.
Where do you live?" asked '.Nympo.'
Washington" promptly answered the
applicant.
where in Washington? asked the
consul general. who is Washington