The Elbert County tribune., 1914-01-16

women to rind fauR with; they have
their own way in everything. Such .
monotonous age as we live in. But,
tell me, captain, why did they call It
the plate-glass war;"
Captain MacManus glanced mis-
chievously out of the corners OF his
eye at the Western Woman's special
waiting in her clip for the captains
signal to open the glass matches. At
the liners windows women might be
seen clamoring to be allowed to land.
Captain Nellie Sky heeded not.
WELL" said MacManus. 'it was in
this way: Women were the most
grasping beings that you could imag-
inc in those days They had acquired
all the world but the ballot They ran
the whole world. Stores were run
wholly for their trade; plays were
manufactured with the single eye to
pleasing their tastes; books were writ
ten and illustrated for their enter
tainment; and SO on down the whole
list of everything-except the ballot.
That was mans last stronghold. He
controlled that, and through that kept
himself deceived into believing that
he ran the world. He hung onto 1t for
dear life; the ballot and his pants
were the things he would not give up.
But the women had set their minds
on having 1t. First they made speech
es demanding it Then they wrote
books demanding it. After that there
were parades. No. said the men.
You're not fit to VOTE Then the win
dow breaking began. Why do you do
it,? asked the men. Because says
the women. Because why?' said the
men. Just because, said the wom-
en- and heaved some more stones, to
| show how fit they were. Then the men
got scared and put the throwers in
Jail. 'AhH says the women. we've got
them at last. They can't stand to
have their plate glass fronts smashed
in. Sisters. arm and break some win
dows
Pretty soon 1t got SO that all the
women were breaking windows. Good
morning. says one to the other, have
you smashed any store fronts? Not
yet says the other. They're all
broken up my way; I'm waiting for
new ones to be put in
mo mans window was safe in those
days. They smashed the glazed door
of Morgan's private office. Gentlemen
sitting down for a quiet little game
In their Fifth avenue clubs had a
brick come flying in through their
sacred windows. Nothing was sacred.
The world was threatened with glass.
less windows. 1t would have meant
the worlds end. The world was all
business then, and most business was
done on front, and you can't have a
front without glass, and there you
are.
"'Will you be nice and stop break.
ing glass IL we let you voter says the
men.
"'Well stop breaking windows, said
the women. That's all we'll prom.
| ise.'
You're. always nice except for
that said the men, not being such
fools as the historians of these days
would make out.
well, If you say SO, of course.
says the women; and then the men let
them have their votes, and the plate
glass war came to happy end.
| And afterwards the men found how
they had been doublecrossed. Scient
lists began to investigate why the
women had taken to breaking glass,
instead of something else. Their dis.
coveries showed the sublety of won.
ankind compared to the simple mind
Of man. The more broken glass there
was the cheaper became those little
hand-mirrors that women can't get
along without even today, SO the dear
ladies' were really killing two birds
with the same stones"
Huh" shifted Captain Nellie. 81
don't believe that at all. Women
never were such slaves to the mirror
as all that"
"No?" said Captain MacManus. "By
the way. Captain Nellie. how did that
dab OF machine oil come on your
nose. and what makes your hair hang
down so funny?"
Captain Nellie dashed to a mirror
that hung on the float
And by the way, Captain Nellie"
persisted the old man, your passen.
gers have been waiting to disembark
for fifteen minutes"
We'll, they'll have to wait some
more" muttered Captain Nellie, dab
bling with a powder rag. II sirnply
look perfect fright"
Copyright. by w. @. Chairman,