The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-05
T,ln-tum tum-tum tum-tsIrn gta. Tum-tum tum-tum tum-tum ta' Tum-tu tum-tum tum-tum la, Tuu -tum tum-tum ta-a-a ta-a-a.
 t~rres Mouta rde '

..Now, let me tell you something woman said Mrs. Pumpkins, gettin back to her favorite subject, its ter l, rible thing We've all ' gone dippy. Il wouldn't surprise me to look out any old evening at the starry heavens and see Mars chassez-ing up to Venus and the two of them dashings away in nice little exposition of the Castle walk
 Mrs. litter yawned
 Looking up a moment later, she said in bored sort of tone:
 ''Speakin' to me-"
 .'Oh, no; merely. talking to myself, the obese Mrs. Pumpkins replied as she rocked to and from. .but if you want Co listen, why, of course I've no objection I was just about to say that the uni verse is dancing along. The tango bug is biting and biting hard. and the way these pirates of dancing teachers are rushing to the savings banks with their booty is enough to stop the eity's traffic I should so love once more to be able to have my coffee in the mornings with out being hauled out of bed by MT Pumpkins who turns on the Victrola fun tilt and in his pajamas shows me the lat est dip into the realm of tangomania SWhy, I'm not even allowed. to enjoy my before breakfast groueh. And As for the evenings why, moving piano is roth ing to what I have to do pushing Mr. Pumpkins and his 22o pounds around the hallway dancing. Why, after that stren- uous exercise could easily push the new Tutwiler hotel off of the map and never gasp for breath"
 Are you talking about something def- I, mite, or are you just saying things2 asked Mrs. litter presently.
 'The idea that I am endeavoring to convey" confided fat Mrs Pumpkins, lis that the tangomania bug has bitten the whole world and its brother. Now we've got friend, you know MT. Old boy, from our old home in south Ala bama. We'll, he has been visiting us. He's a business friend of Mir Pumpkins and also very warm social friend. now MT. Oldboy has spent his days on a farm watching the nice, docile, feeble minded, bovines roam around and the large, fat, greasy porcines wallow in the mud. He has also cultivated flowers and vegetables. He has likewise been inter- aSted in books and humanity. one day last week while he was here, he suddenly ewaked up to the fact that while the world had been wagging much to his liking in the past, all of sudden the parade had turned the corner while he was looking over his shoulder. Tis an awful moment, my friend, when you stop stark still and realize that the music of the band is getting louder and louder. and the big crush is skipping ahead Our country friend forgot his cows and pigs and books and humanity, and said to himself like the little old woman in ths nursery rhyme whose petticoats were cut all about:
 "Mussy! Mussy! Where am I?'
 Well, what of it?" Mrs. Hitter in- auired as she suppressed a yawn.
 S'Merely ths," Mrs. Pumpkins said with great dignity. MT. Pumpkins one evening had taken him out to his danc- ing class and he had seen The Grape Juice Glide and The Harry Fade Away and The Moxie Dip,' and The Ogle Fogle Slide and the poor, middle-aged creature lost his head completely. You see he forget he was inoculated against such things. but the bug bit and 1t took. Why. my dear. Eve not been myself since. He went home for day and came back to us and it's been dancing, dancing. dancing ever since. Cows. pigs,