davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

This would be great country if ii was as easy to save money as it is to spend it. A woman who has a hard time fry | ing chunk of round steak knows that I she is fine cook because she can take bunch of lettuce and dope it up with junk until it tastes like paper dipped in shcllac.
 There wouldn't be so many lies told If people wouldn't talk until they had something to say. | When a man marries he divides his income and multiplies his outgo. You may have noticed that the stinry
 man hasn't many friends. But you may
 also have noticed that he doesn't need
 them.
 We seldom offer to give a man a boost until we find that he is so far
 up the ladder that we can't pull him down.
 What has become of the old-fash- toned man who used to hunt for white
 horse every time he saw a ed-headed girl?
 l We are all generous to a fault, if the
 fault is one of our own. 1 Sociologists have been wonderinp why there are so many unhappy mar
 riages. That's easy. It Is because there
 are so many marriages l We can't buy happiness. But that is no reason why we should let it gc l by us.
 Many a girl named Rose hasn't a scent to her name. Once in a while you will find a girl l so modest that she won't even take off her glasses if there are men around | When woman goes into a millinery | store to select hat she is as hard tu
 please as college graduate looking
 for his first job. A husband is just like an egg. If you
 keep him In hot water long enough he will get hardened. A college professor announces that the art of conversation is declining. I'll
 bet my head against his feet that he l is u bachelor.
 Live women and dead men receiys nearly all of the flattery.
 Human nature is great stuff The re
 ceipt of a circular letter from cam paign headquarters makes a man feel
 that he Is the most important lad In the party.
 A bachelor doesn't mind having ty kick in with a wedding present. He Iknows that this is case in which il 'is better to give than to receive
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
A Popular Battle Song

An interesting account is given by Samuel c. Blythe in the Saturday Evening Post of the way in which "It's . Long Way to Tipperary" became the battle song of the British troops. The song was composed by Jack Judge, who had written songs previous to this one but had never made hit.
 When he composed "It's Long Road to Tipperary," which is simply . music hall ballad with a pleasing lit, he carried the song to practically all the music publishers in London without finding one who would take it off his hands. Finally publisher agreed to bring out the song last year but he had difficulty in persuading any professionals to sing it. A music hall entertainer named Florrie Ford sang the song at Douglas, Isle of Nan. l. soon became popular in the north of England and travelled down to London. The publisher is now printing 10000 copies day and is behind in his or- ders.
 Every band in England is playing the song and the British troops are singing it both at home and in France. Even the French soldiers have taken
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
NINE POINTS Or THE LAW

From Harper's Magazine.
 The lovely girl, having fingered a min ute in her work to make sure that her skirt fitted to her entire satisfaction. descended to the parlor to find the fam fly pet ensconced upon the knee of the young man caller and her curly head nestled comfortably against his shoulder
 Why, Mabel" the young lady ex- claimed, aren't you ashamed of your- self? Get right down."
 'Shan't do It. retorted the child T got here first"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

Hugo Munsterberg, the widely known professor of psychology at Harvard, Is one of the most popular men of letters in this country, and being native of Germany, and personal friend of the Kaiser, his contributions to the press since the European war broke out have been strongly pro-German. The Harvard faculty is made up Of liberal minded men who think it right that Munster berg or any other professor should speak out" and express his homes. views on every subject But it seems that rich alumnus holding anti-Ger- man sentiments has threatened to withdraw a promised benefaction un less Professor Munsterberg is dis missed. The dean of the university has said in effect: "Anyone who is so mar. row as to ask us to muzzle man like Munsterberg can go hang"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
Ahout John Gamble

From the Centreville Press.
 The Age-Herald intimates that John Gamble of Troy is going to be private secretary to Governor Henderson. He is courteous, competent, and would make a most popular secretary to Governor Hen derson. The people would be assured of courteous treatment at the hands of Mir Gamble and it would be pleasure to visit the office. We don't say that he will al- ways grant your request, but he win be so nice about refusing you that you will imagine that he has done you a favor. We don't know that we will have much business with the governor, but when convenient we shall always drop around and see the secretary. Governor Hen derson was our choice in the last cam paign, and we are glad he is going to start out with wise appointments.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
MRS. coMEUP.

So naughty in her limousine.
 You'd think that she had never walked Eleven years ago this queen
 Now, this is by the nelghbors talked Red flannel shirts chased up and down A soapy washboad, way out west; Hub struck it rich, they came to town And now she's running with the pest. She's fallen into stylish ways,
 Though now and then disposed to chafe, When husband, full of champagne, says He had his luncheon in 'kafe."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
ADRIF'T WITH THE TIMES
SAFETY FIRST.

Let's go over to Milwaukee on laks steamer" said MT. Wasserby to Mrs. Wasserby when they reached Chicago.
 No. indeed" answered Mrs. Wasserby. firmly. You won't get me on the water until this war in Europe is over.'
 Why not, pray?" asked MT. wasserby, in some surprise. I'm not going to run the risk of being blown up by one of those floating mnes that's why,'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
Builders of Birmingham

The Traders National bank in it's bio-
 graphical series entitled: "Builders of Birmingham" presents this sketch in connection with it's October calendar: Truman H. Aldrich is regarded by
 many as having done more than any other man to make coal mining in the Birmingham district what it is today The first coal mines successfully op- erated in Alabama were the Monteyallo 0 mines, which he leased in 1872 and pur- chased the next year. With H. F. De- Bardeleben and J. W. Sloss he devel- oped the Pratt seam, and in 1878 they established the Pratt Coal and Coke
 company, the first big coal company formed in Alabama. The opening of the
 Pratt mines marked the beginning Of Birmingham's importance as an indus trial center. MT. Aldrich was in charge of the operations of this company until 1881, when he organized the Henry FL len Coal company, which lie sold to MT. DeBardeleben, and the Cahaba Coal company at Blocton-the south's first 1,000,o00 mining corporation. He was head of the Cahaba company for II years and during this time formed sev- eral important subsidiary companies.
 In 1892 these properties were merged with a number of others into the Ten nessee Coal, Iron and Railroad con-
 pany. with MT. Aldrich as vice presi- dent and general manager. From 1899 to 1901 he was in charge of the mines of the Sloss company, and following the reorganization of that company, op+ erated several coal mines, including the Montevallo mines, which were pur- chased by him in 1905.
 MT. Aldrich is a graduate mining and civil engineer, and a geologist of note, and has gratuitously rendered valuable
 services to the geological department of
 the state. He has been a republican leader in Alabama for many years, and was member of the Fifty fourth Con- gross. In 1911 he was apointed by President Taft to the postmastership at Birmingham which position he now holds having established an excellent record for efficiency in this important office"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
The "Tiger, Industry

From the Montgomery Times
 We believe it was the Columbia State that said the blind tiger industry had grown to such proportions in South Caro- lima that somebody suggested the name oi the state should be changed to Souse Carolina. And so it may be said of pro- hibition in Alabama. The blind tiger is abroad in the land. and the people in pro- hibition territory are being soused in bad liquor.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
IDLE OPINIONS.

The man who is in love with the sound of his own voice is never content until he gets somebody else to listen to it.
 A reformed gambler" is making some easy money by travelling about the coun- try featuring on the exploits of his past life, which form the basis of a lurid mov- ing picture drama. We fear that his reformation is not complete.
 Our personal opinion is that any poet who can't write an autumn jingle after he gets whiff of roasted chestnuts from stand on the corner belongs among the finished and finite clods. untroubled by spark. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
Appointment of Pitts

From the Gadsden Journal.
 One good thing which may be said for the present governor is his loyalty to friends. He has rewarded w. l.. Pitts, the man who fought for the double pri- mary in behalf of the administration, by making him probate judge of Perry coun- ty. The Marion Times says the appoint ment was made at time when the gov ernor was out of the state. and before friends of other candidates had the op- portunity to reach his ear.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
Valuable Representation
pm the Mobile Register.

From the Mobile Register.
 Alabama waterways get $S9O,500 of tine go, 100000 that Congress appropriated for rivers and harbor work. This is more, vastly more, than any other state in the south gets, and it is due to the fact that Senator Bankhead and Congressman Un- derwood and Taylor are such good friends of Mobile harbor and the rivers that flow into it. Alabama yields a powerful infIu- ence in Congress; this is shown partcu- larly every time anything is done in which this state participates.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

BEGINNING THE DAY-Protect me today, 0 my God, from the ar row that fIieth by night md the pcstilence that wastetb nt noondas from the secret and the open enc mics. Give me strength to meet the one md cunning to avoid the other Re power for my battle and ref"ec for my flight. In Christs name' Amen.-H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
THAT FIRST CAME

\ tear for Chief" Bender,
 Erstwhile deemed so great; Bean eaters from Boston
 Have crushed him. Iris fate. In "Philly' they pounded
 Him out of the box; The fact is quite painful, The thought of it shocks. A siabsman once mighty
 Is down in the dust; fou'll treat him with Kindness And pity. I trust. He loomed like a Titan,
 But swiftly he fell And broadened the crack in The Liberty bell.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

The British soldiers sing "1t's a Long Way to Tipperary." and the amIcabie French soldiers sing 'Le Chemin a Teep- eraire," but what causes unrest in Eng land is the fact that it's such a short distance from captured Antwerp to the English coast
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
Prosperity at Bessie Mines

Bessie, one of the Sloss- Sheffield company's mining towns in Jefferson county, is enjoying great prosperitM' said c. R. West. principal of the Bes- sic public school
 T have been in charge of the school work there for several years, and have never known more thrift or better con ditions generally than are now in evil dence. The oss-Sheffield company is mining 1900 tons of coai a day, and this means great deal, of course, in the matter of adding wealth to the Bir- mingham district
 The Bessie school is doing excel lent work. The enrollment is fully up to normal We have four teachers, in eluding an instructor of music. There is perhaps no better school in any min ing town In the state than ours The population of Bessie is about 20o0. The growth is steady, and some day we will have quite a city"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
The Golden Tide

From the Brewton Pine Belt News.
 Exports from the United States for the last two weeks in September show gain of $7,O00,o00 over the same period last year. The warning nations loss is our gain. The golden tide of prosperity can not long be delayed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
Will Mrs. McCormick.

From the Mobile Item.
 The papers are full of conflicting re- ports as to whether or not Mrs Medill Mccormick the Chicago suffrage leader. is going to give up suffrage work in order to give some time to her husband and 1s- months-old baby. Certain suffragists in- dignantly deny that she has any such in- tention.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
The Worst Thing

From the Talladega Home.
 The Moundville News is responsible for this solid chunk of advice: "rhe worst thing that merchant can do just TOW is to preach hard times. It is not only discouraging in itself, but it will drive trade away from him."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
Job for J. Tom

From the Selma Times
 Hon J. Tom Hefin seems to go about surcharged with an immense amount of belligerency. It ought to be arranged SC he could get across to the old country where his fighting spirit might revel without let or hindrance
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

up the song. They have revised it as "Le Chemin a Teeperaire," and are said to be roaring it as enthusiastically as any Tommy Atkins"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

If this country were at war, would our large population of Diving yenuses' show their patriotism by volunteering for service aboard submarines?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
Going Some,

From the Opelika News.
 According to the Anston Star. the Louisville and Nashville railroad is nak ing a desperate effort to touch the freight payers in the Anniston district for s1, ,500,- 900 annually. That's going some.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
RECIPROCITY.

"will you go through fire and water for me. Henry?'
 "Yes, Vera. Will you go through a cooking school for me?''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
A PHILOSOPHER.

Takes things as they come. eh?' Yes. And when they don't come he takes a rest
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

Those German soldiers who carried sramaphones with them to the front arc evidently determined to make war as horrible as possible.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

The fact that Colonel Roosevelt filed a deed recently for burial lot should never have been allowed to leak out Bull moose depression is already becom- ing chronic.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

Congressman Heflin called Congressma Mann liar with the promptness of a southern gentleman, sah, who feels his character unjustly assailed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

Man spends years perfecting an archi- tectural masterpiece, but a few well-aimed shells from a howitzer will knock it into cooked hat
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

More detailed descriptions of the Ger man trenches indicate that they would make hrst-class winter quarters.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

Most of the toys made in this coun- try are produced by one town. However, the same thing may be said about most of the breakfast food
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

Pictures of Alabama legislators pub- day indicate that the majority of them are serious-minded men with thought. ful cast of countenance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

Kingdoms may rise and fall but tbe Hon. Tyrus Cobb continues to lead the world as batter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

A returned traveller says European civ ilization Is in ruins. A hopeful sign. how ever, is the fact that the Red Cross keeps on the job.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
ANOTHER VICTIM.

"Patrice tells me she was wounded in the war"
 Nonsense! Why, she came home as soon as it started"
 T know it, but she says her feelings were hurt by German officials in Berlin
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

Having been a borrowed prince" to begin with, the late King Charles ot Roumana made a very fair record as a monarch.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

Antwerp Tell with thud that was heard with startling distinctness in Lon don town.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

The cotton balr' is merely one way Of increasing the popularity of the cotton bale.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14

From the Greensboro watchman.
 Our old friend, the Montgomery Adver- tiger. seems to have abandoned the ousr
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
A SPECIALIST.

Do you see that fellow in the striped suit and the green hat?"
 "Oh yes'
 Hes moving picture actor and draws ar enormous salary, although the part he plays never takes longer than a few seconds
 You surprise me. Explain
 Well, you see, whenever the hero is sup posed to jump off bridge 125 feet high this fellow takes his place and does ir''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
CAN'T DO ANYTHING.

What sort of fellow is Twobble?" Utterly incapable. His wife winds up his dollar watch for him."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
ALWAYS.

Brother, when your heart is sad,
 When your lot seems filled with rue, Look around. You'll find, egad,
 Many who would change with you.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
In This Weeks Rotarygrams


 Editor Oliver Cox, assistant secretary or the Rotary club, and editor of the hotarygrams, features in this week s lssue-Vol. l, No. 24-Tom Cox, the shoe man, and Sidney F. Lazarus, the mat tress man. The Lazarus sketch closes with this note from Sidney himself: My favorite fruit is vegetable soup and my favorite sport is running (down a man who needs mattresses). When I don't feel well I am serious, and the height of my ambition is to weigh as much as Oscar Turner and have Herman Bect's nerve Sure you can throw in Crawford John sons money if you insist
 "If there is anything else you would like to know about me. ask Frank Ep- person; that's his businesss
 Yours for more and better sleep"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-14
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Decidedly Brighfer

The business outlook is decidedly brighter than it was week or two ago. . ness man of Philadelphia.
 The financial situation IS improving rlght along. and no matter what turn the european war may take, I expect to sec normal conditions before the end of this month"
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1914-09-05

visit from plain clothes thin
ton see they foind
III they they'll tell that tn impirar thief Mel
can sreaser waar lord an how he's bin aitng bomb
doughnuts f tn last 40
cannon ball would
tn inimy's \
They'll he that
mand 'foe from
muske an let er drive tn
much noise wild his wooden shoes
soidewalk.
IF
Is wan av tn most ovin
tn children tn aloI
tn Roosian
Frnchman kicks him in tn whole up
teeth oud Jawn Bull bhoind
tn shoulder blades wild PAWN
but pull his cotton Krupp an defnd himself
An IL he roght a n
can't place he's
eth usual he frd
his pocket ask which
Thin tn voter can't read locate tn devodn
daate begins talk about tn
goin Togers
first division.
when he German at tn sad
tonne an smewan tn vicinity
AN OF don't blame schwar@
meyer tn butcher studying tn proimary
He had tn every he came
tn owner av it, whin tn butch
got into tn booth t. make his selection
Have oidea yerself tn
How Grogan day tn, allies are houd
fast an tn tn Paris
PTinch say that Just what they thin
he wanted ye ARE 80 s ' ~
aieh ay them claim tn only conclusion
known" = 800
What's all his tome?' asked Casey
ARMY than tn tn promary Up
date about tn capture place CALI
I that hat, where they make tn ehsesef" asked
"oi hope they destroyed it," said Casey.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1914-09-05
Asleep at the Switch

There Is one chap In the commun-
ity to whom the war has been a God
send. He Is the machine politician.
Haven't thought a bit about home
politics during the month OF August
have you? Didn't see much about II
In the papers; heard nobody talking
about It, did you?
But there was one bunch that you
may be sure hadn't forgotten--the pol
iticians; the regulars" They've
been on the Job. as usual. Not SO
noisily as In former times. but quite
as busy.
!, Fact is, they're counting on you're
not paying attention. They'll be con-
tent II you don't go to the polls at
all. II you want to please them, just
90 on reading the war news and hust-
ling like all get out to prop your per
sonal business up: for then they'll
have walk-over.
Well, you can't blame EN-, for poll
tics Is their business--if you let II be.
It's tough to have a lot OF these old
reprobates maneuvering hack into Of
fees from which the folks few
months ago were SO enthusiastically
firing 'em.
sui, IL isnt as Ddu as IL Seems.
Some OF 'em may have learned few
things In the meantime; and II they
have they'll never again be as raw as
they used to be.
But II they haven't learned. their
new lease Of power won't be long:
and we'll pretty soon be having the
fun of firing 'em all over again.
Folks nap. at times: but they also
wake up--and then try to atone for
being asleep at the switch.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1914-09-05
Chase the Dog Out
of the Manager

Jim Hill objects to Uncle Sam buy
ing merchant ships because he fears
they won't be profitable
The first railroads weren't profit
able. Uncle Sam had to give EN-
land and guarantee their bonds while
local communities had to offer bon
uses and free rights-of-way to get 'em
started.
But they're profitable now--even
Uncle James, II report be true, has
made some money out OF 'em. And
nobody now bemoans the early losses.
Somebody has got to start new
commerce between the United States
and South America II there Is to be
new commerce. The first runs may
not be profitable. judged by immedi-
ate returns. Pioneer movements sell
dom are. But IL we get this trade
started and It grows until one Of
these days Americans shall be In the
lead down there we won't regret the
initial losses-we'll be too busy erect
ing statues to Woodrow Wilson for
his foresight.
II private capital were tumbling
over itself to buy or build ships to
cultivate these trade openings. there
might be reason in the objections to
Uncle Sam taking a hand.
But thus far private capital has act
ed the dog in the manger. II won't
move itself and II doesn't want the
government to move.
This isn't good time for dog-in-
themanger tactics.
When opportunity beckons the
folks want action.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1914-09-05

Germany has $4,000 Boy Scouts.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1914-09-05
The Finest Market
in the World

Much Is being said about markets
abroad. And properly, because we've
got q rare chance to capture q lot Of
them. thus driving more pegs to keeI
our big tent up.
But let's not meanwhile forget
what whale OF . home market we
have.
Adding all we bought from abroad
to all we sold abroad last year, the
total isn't hundredth part OF what
we bought and sold among ourselves
II wouldn't amount to q penny on
the dollar.
The record of our foreign com.
merce II pretty well kept. II amounts
In round numbers, to four billions 0
year.
The record or our home tradings
isn't SO well kept: but our bank
clearings alone show q business vol
ume Of i've hundred billions year.
And. besides that. there's the business
done strictly for cash.
In all the rest OF the world put to-
gether there's no home market At to
compare with the home market OF
the American people, which no
amount OF foreign war can break
down or seriously cripple.
Only our lack OF faith In ourselves.
our yielding to scares. our drawing
In our horns. can cripple that.
It's the time OF times to cheer up
and get q hustle on.