Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1914-02-20
Advertising
7 alks
HUMOR is FOUND
IN ADVERTISING
Desire to Draw Trade Crops Out
in Unexpected Places and
at Odd Times.

Undoubtedly a real genius is respon-
sible for the pronunciamento that 1t
takes a rich man to draw a check,
pretty girl to draw attention, horse
to draw a cart, a mustard plaster to
draw the skin, topper to draw a cork,
free lunch to day a crowd, and an
advertisement to draw trade.
1t Is along this latter line, for the
purpose Of drawing trade, that news
paper exclusively for beggars is pub
lished in Paris. Its columns are filled
with notices Of funerals, baptlsms,
weddings and other social and public
events calculated to guarantee gen.
srous responses to pathetic appeals
from the beggars who, thus apprlsed,
flock to the scene Of the functions.
night or day.
A choice sample of humor in adver-
Using is furnished by the notice Of
dissolution Of a disastrous business
venture between two gentlemen OF
color in the south. The following bon
mot for insertion in the local paper
was penned by the survivor of the
wreck.
DE copartnership heretofore re-
sisting twixt Nose Skinner en- me am
dis day resolved. Dem what owes de
firm will settle wild me, Ell dem what
de firm owes will settle wild Nose"
About the last place in which one
would look for advertising is the
churchyard, but 1t has been demon.
strated that even there all is fish that
comes to the net Of the far-reaching
advertiser. 1t is recorded Of a GER
tain shopkeeper possessing a grim
sense Of humor that he had his grave
dug and a tombstone erected at Its
head some years before his death. On
the marble he caused to be inscribed:
Here lies John Emerson, the Best
Halter In Ohio"
A Canadian firm went this one bet
ter. The senior partner having pass
ed to his reward, his business associ-
ates erected a monument to his mem
DRY. The tombstone bore these words:
Here lies Abram Stokes, founder OF
the firm Of Stokes, Stokes & Co., who
for many years have manufactures
pickles and bottled fruits. Best OF
all and without rival"
For her late husband grief strlck
en- widow across the ocean put up
stone with this touching inscription
upon 1t: Here lies -, dear depart
ed husband Of -, who now carries
on his business Of general outfitter
and always gives good value; term
cash"
Bill Nye, the lamented provoker o.
smiles, once had a cow to SELL or pro
fessad to have, and he advertised tht
animal in this manner:
Owing to my i'll health, will sci!
at my residence In the township IL
range 18, according to the governments
survey, one plush raspberry COW, civ
ing milk frequently. To man who
does not fear death In any form she
would be a great boon. She Is very
much attached to her present home
with a stay chain, but she will be sold
TO anyone WHO Will IlS<lL uCA iiShe
She is one-fourth Shorthorn and three
fourths hyena. ! will also throw in
double-barrele shotgun, which goes
with her. In May she usually goes
away for @ week or two and returns
with q tall red calf with wobbly legs.
Her name is Rose. l would rather sell
tn a nonresident
In the want columns CT al English
newspaper not long since appeared the
following notice: 'rWidower, living re-
tired, without encumbrance, would like
to correspond with lady about forty.
with small means, with one leg pre-
ferred, with a view to an early mar
rage" 1t il to be regretted that the
advertiser did not explain why he pre-
ferred one-legged helpmate.
Another Englishman In his home pa
per boldly declared his want OF
wife. who must be quite dumb and
deaf, at least fifty years OF age, ane
who hates music, children, pet dog.
and strong drink"