The Washington herald., 1914-05-21
S.atss n, Real sad Near.
b. rRrD4c KELLY.

= .
By xRHD c. KELLY.
with the return OF T. Rooseveit II
these parts, s1A the consequent reviva
of various forms Of political speculation
one, 10 rsmindsd OF the story about tht
Nearest That Bryan Ever Came to Beins
1 Elected
According to this story. which goes the
rDunds In Washington every 20 often
william Jsnulngs Bryan might have
been elected 'Preddent when he far
against william Howard Taft. except for
one man. and that man was James J.
II win BE- remembered that along about
Labor Day Of that year the strength OF
the Taft candidacy was at its lowest
sbb. and those persons who make busi-
ness OF nguriug out political forecasts
were certain that Bryan had at least an
even chance. On top of that II was
whispered that certain interests that
were vexed with Mr.. Roosevelt for nam
ing his own successor were determined TO
get even. In order to chastise Mr..
Roosevelt they were going to see to It
that his candidate. Mr.. Taft. was thor
oughiy defeated. The interest that plan
ned 70 do all this 10 said to have been
Standard OIL.
They, OF course. cared less than the
irreducihIe minimum about Mr.. Bryan.
but they at least had no personal grudge
against him. ~ they did against Roose-
welt. and they thought II would be a
highly amusing little trick to pour lot
Of money into the Bryan campaign. fund
and completely gum up Roosevelt's plans.
II 10 conceded that with the two candi-
dates having about equal chances OF
election, q flood Of money behind either
nominee would have turned the tide In
his favor.
Things were at that stage. If one ac-
cepts the story. when James J. Hill, away
Gut In the Northwest some place. heard
OF the state of affairs. He no sooner
heard about II than he leaped aboard
. train and set out for New York to
head of the Standard OIL Company from
its course. He felt that II was up to
some cool head to dissuade them from
doing anything foolish-for Hill was GER
tain that II Bryan were elected there
would be no telling what awful thing
might happen.
Now 1t may be that there is no proper
foundation for this story that goes the
rounds. but II is at least known that
Hill did make q flying trip to New York
and spent some time in a conference
with the heads of q big corporation. And
was a sudden increase in the visible
signs Of prosperity about the Republican
national headquarters
And Taft was elected.
Bill Du Puy. Washington writer, was
obtaining Information about certain army
matters from a young lieutenant who had
been requested by his chief to give out
the information. As Bill asked him ques-
tons, the young lieutenant wrote down
names and other data on a piece OF
paper. After a while he discovered that
he had filed an entire sheet of fools
cap with notes. 1t occurred to him that
clerical work was not his regular
province and that his dignity might suf-
fer.
See here"' he exclaimed suddenly,
I'm being a clerk for you.'
We'll, that's all right" said Du Puy,
you're doing very nicely"
Representative Dan Anthony. of Kan
sas. tallest member of the House, is en-
automobIlious. He likes to
get into . large footing car and ride about
from one place to another.
One day he went on a little tour to a
remote nook of Kansas and stopped
briefly in a little town where autos with
were comparatively un-
known.
However. they had emuIated the city
folk by having a lot of ordinances about
the way a car should stand near the
curb.
Dan Anthony was sitting in his car
waiting for friend when constable
walked up.
you'll have to back up a little" said
he.
"AIl riRht," agreed Dan.
Crank 'er up and move back half a
length." directed the constable.
IAN right" repeated Dan, without
making any move to get out
The constable thought, inasmuch as An |
thony wasn't out in front of the car
up. that he didn't intend to
move. He began to get mad.
Are you goin' t back up or not?' he |
asked
Certainly said Anthony, and he |
turned the little jigger that operated the |
As the car then began to |
,elch forth its chuffity-chufs, the con- |
stable looked astonished.
See here mister" he exclaimed, don't !
you get too blamed smart around here
Shortly after the first rumors were
circulated that Secretary McAdoo might |
wed the Presidents daughter. a friend |
of McAdoo remarked to him that IT
must be extremely annoying to both
parties to have such rumors floating /
about when there was, of course, not
\ word of truth in the report
"Well, there is just one thing that
-econciles me to having such a rumor
going around" observed McAdoo.
"And what is that" the friend in
,uired. naturally.
THE fact that II is true
Copyright. 1914. by Fred c. Kelly. All rights
resered)
M~,-:-~ C-I~.