The Alaska citizen., 1914-07-20
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, TALES WORTH RETElllNG.
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determined. Her ability to get her
own way in an unexpected manner
was evidenced the last time the fam
lily had turkey dinner Marian ate
of it heartily and was inclined to
pout when denied a second helping.
NO, you cant have any more,
dear" said her mother firmly. You
have had more than is good for you
now. But here is the wishbone,
Marian, and you may pull it with
mamma Whoever gets the longest
end will have her wish come true"
The ceremony was performed and
Marian triumphantly waved the long
end
why, how NICE" cried her moth
er. you will have your wish. dear.
Il wished for more turkey" an
swered Marian, passing up her plate.
Pittsburgh Dispatch.
| Il want you to see my lovely new
shopping bag" said a certain wom-
an to caller the other afternoon.
MY husband gave it to me for my
birthday. and it's simply grand. And
it's SO economical. You see. you
open this. and there are two COM
partments. and you open the compart-
ments on this side and there is a
little pocket and there is a cut little
pocketbook for your change, and
one side partitioned off for street car
tickets"
Il see," said the caller. but why
do you call it economical"
why. it takes so long to open
all the things and get to your street
car tickets that by the time you do
whoever is with you has paid your
fare. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer
A visitor from New York to the
suburbs said to his host during the
afternoon:
by the way. your front gate needs
repairing. 1t was all l could do to
get it open. You ought to have it
creased or trimmed or something"
"Oh, no." replied the owner. "Oh,
no, that's all right.
why it isl" asked the visitor
Because" was the reply, every
time anyone comes through the gate
they pump two buckets of water in
to the tank on the oof."-Philadel-
phia Public Ledger
Willie was struggling through the
story in his reading lesson.
NO said the captain" he read,
lit was not sloop. 1t was a larg-
er vessel By the rig I judged her
to be a-a-a-a-a' -
The word was new to him.
"Barque." supplied the teacher.
Still Willie hesitated.
"Barque," repeated the teacher,
this time sharply.
Willie looked as though he had
no heard Alright. Then. with an ap-
prehensive glance around the class,
he shouted:
ow-wow"-Detroit Free Press.
The man from Australia was max
ing his first tour of this country
He turned to the stranger who sat
opposite him in the passenger coach.
Who is that important-looking
gentleman in the magnificent uni
FORM" asked the man from Aus
tralia.
He is the conductor" replied the
stranger He runs the train"
"Ah," exclaimed the man from
Australia, my mistake. l thought
he owned t"-Cincinnati Enquirer
Business was slack, but Jones, the
barber, hearing customers foot
steps. Immediately busted himself
with the razor strop.
His spirits dropped, however, when
informed that the man wanted moth
ing more than to have his hair
trimmed.
Shave yourself. don't you sir?"
he inquired, as he shipped the hair
around the customers ears.
yes. How did you know that?"
mo barber would turn out job
like that in these hard days. Be-
sides, we might as well shut up
shop if everybody shaved them
selves"
Perhaps" murmured the custom
er indifferently. adjusting the towel
around his neck.
Jones shipped and cut in silence,
but after few moments broke out
again in an aggrieved tone Of voice:
You're in business. amt you sir?
Well suppose no BARRIERS ever bought
anything of you how would you like
it,"
shouldn't mind" answered the
customer, offhandedly. Il sell mouth
organs"
The barber finished hurriedly and
in silence.-Atlanta Georgian.
While travelling through the rural
districts of Missouri, book sales
man approached farmer and stood
for several minutes importuning him
to buy the book he was selling.
| Presently the farmer blinked his
eyes and said: mo, 1t amt no use.
| can't read"
The salesman paused moment
and then said; But you must have
some one in your home that can
read. Your wife, your children
l know they would be interested"
Eyes. my daughter can read" re-
piled the Missourian. but she's got
a book "-Lippincott's
Lord Cronmell once met an Irish
man in a New York hotel, and on
being asked what part of Ireland he
came from, Paddy replied: well,
at wan tonne l was wan av your
discontinued tinants." Lord Cronmell
glanced at him in surprise. Eyes"
continued Pat, thoughtfully. II was.
But here are you and l drinking the
gether, while in Ireland could
niver git close enough to We to hit
We wild a shotgun. Boston Post.
A gentleman, rushing from his din