The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15

respondent of the Boston Herald, it was
appropriate that there should be a sec
ond landing Of the pilgrims. The at
tention of the guests was first attracted.
however, by a messenger boy entering
with a telegram for Mr. Walker. II
proved to be a series of questions from
his paper, asking whether he would ad-
dress the Gridiron Club in person or in
writing. whether he would give ''organic
consideration" to the suffragettes and
whether he would have an inaugural ball
with the tango. When he had replied
that he was too busy to answer ques-
tions, the arrival of the good ship Cauli-
flower with his ancestors aboard was
announced. The Puritans, dressed in
thereupon entered.
We have come back to witness this
Inauguration" said one of them. There
are some dead ones in this ROOM he
added. who never will come back"
II thought the Puritans were all dead"
remarked a member.
Not at ALL" was the reply. ut is
still impossible to get drink in Wash
ington on Sunday"
When the laughter which greeted this
reply had subsidized, the Cavaliers demand
ed admittance on the ground that one
of their descendants was also present in
the person of President Wilson. They
were Labelled The John Skeleton Will
Jams F. F. V. Club
What does F. +. V. mean?' was the
inquiry.
1T means Fire Frank VANDERBILT" was
the quick response and again everybody
laughed.
Presently. ter more sharp dialogue
the Puritans and the Cavaliers began to
argue as to which was the greatest
president-the President of the United
States or the president of the Gridiron
club. At this point Uncle Sam, in yregu-
latiOn swallowtail coat and high white
lat, appeared to end the quarrel cut
it OUT he said. They both look good
to u.s.
AS he declared Mr.. Walker duly in
aUgurated president of the Gridiron club
and presented him with the gold jeweled
Eridiron which is the emblem OF Office.
he paused for a moment and then
added: And 1 want to let YOU know
that this club stands for single presi-
dental term,"
Verify, verify, yea, yea, yea" chanted
the Puritans in solemn unison and every
body laughed again.
Transposted to San Domingo.
For the initiation of two new members
Ben F. Allen, of the Cleveland Plain
Dealer, and Sumner NJ Curtis, Of the
Chicago Record-Herald-the guests were
transported to the island Of San Domingo.
While the lights were eXtinguished,
tropical scene was set The illumina-
ton Of the room revealed Gen. Castoria,
who welcomed the club and its guests to
the island. You are here In a happy
time" he said. Our arrangements are
being made for a presidential election"
How often do you have presidential
electionsT'j he was asked
Usually on Mondays and Thursdays"
was the reply. This week we are also
holding one on Saturday"
The arrival OF the official observers
. from the American Department of State
gave an opportunity for some pointed OBJ
servations regarding Presidential pri-
maries and elections in general When
a Dominican asked If the Baltimore plat
form was supreme everywhere. he was
told that II wasA next to the Chau-
tauqua platform"
Our last election was the fairest i'm
aginable," remarked one of the islanders.
What did the returns show?" he was
asked.
"Eighty-seven killed on each side
In San Domingo, it appeared. Calling
gun did duty as ballot box. while q
large demijohn was also q part OF the
election paraphernalia- Finally the
American observers received kilograms
saying that they had been fired because
some good Democrats wanted their jops.
Thereupoa they appealed to the sympathy