davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The broad ax., 1914-10-17
ers,u ue WRh &c Joh.


To curiosity John Jones
In childhood stopped,
And all the little girls and boys
Declared he snooped.
In other peoples business still
To poke he tried,
And as q youth his comrades all
Announced he pried-
When grown he went In politics.
Becoming great,
And people found he would with skill
Investigate.
He grew until he got inside
4 statesman's roSes,
A government commission formed.
And now he probes.
New York Evening Sun
The broad ax., 1914-10-17
Qualified Praise.

There are people, by the by,
Who must always qualify.
"What about that fellow. hey2
Oh. he's honest-in a way!"
Never as things peg along
Do they come out good and strong.
Speaking OF a girl they say,
"Yes, she's pretty-in a way"
In the course OF life's affairs
At the end they may get theirs
The recording angel may
Find them wanting-in a weigh.
Seattle Post-Intelligencer
The broad ax., 1914-10-17
Misunderstood,

Nl89ndcFeNOO0s
She sighed in such a plaintive way.
pitied her, vow,
And sought to kiss her grief away.
She is the plaintiff now!
Judge.
Another sad and wistful maid
solaced when respondent
Her husband stopped It I'm afraid
That I'm the correspondent
Spokane Review.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17
Goind AwaN.

You tell your friends. the Wombats,
That you're for Paris bound
To this they rise and straight surnise
At Newport they'll be found
Full soon you seek at ten q week
A boarding place somewhere.
And, the next day. to your dismay,
The Wombats turn up there.
Kansas City Journal
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

~What's the matter, old mani Ben
in a boiler explosion"
mo. Had the coal put in today, nd
I've just crawled over 1t to fasten be
cellar windOw."-DetrOit Free Pres
The broad ax., 1914-10-17
Cause For Sorrow.

The old hog wore a melancholy ex-
preston.
why are you sad every time you
see a hen passingT' asked the little
pig
Il cannot help thinking OF ham and
EGGS" replied the old One.-Philadel.
phia Ledger.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17
PFEemNaI.

C''PrzemysP' Is pronounced 'sPschem-
ish."-Newspaper Item.l
There was a young lady OF Przemysl
Whose family tree had q blemysl
Her father was Prussian,
Her mother was Russian,
And her uncle and aunt were both Elem
Philadelphia Ledger.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17
Of Different Mind.

'Going to divorce your husband, chi
Let me recommend my lawyer. He got
me my divorce without the slightest
publicity"
"Glad you told me about him I
might have made a mistake and en-
ployed him II you had not-"-Houston
Post.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

The CHEEKY tones Of the editor man
Through sanctum and hall resound
war pOems?'' he cries why. bless vr,
dear eyes,
We're buying 'em now by the pouna-
Cleveland Plain Dealer
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

The farmer We delight to chan.
But on his way he goes
And often gets a quiet laugh
At city peoples clothes.
kansas City Journal
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Did you meet any nice mon
summer resort dear?" d
Il should say did, and I n.
couple Of rich ones too.r-na..,,.I s 1
Press. UUI In
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Are the running expenses Of an n
tomObile very high%
mot If the motorcycle cop fails b
get your number. "-BaltimOre Amer
lean
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

How do you know that Chaucerth
lated his old English to q steDo7,.
pherT
"LOok at the way it's spelleds-PS
adelphia Ledger.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17
Human Nntun.

wish had q syIlabub. a protoplasm ana
n large three cornered cummerbund, q
haggi In each hand.
I could not ten you what they are Il. tan
tng. ia be shot.
Ths reason why want tham d bseauSs
have them not
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

The John 3. Tanner Camp No. II
and the LADIES' Auxiliary No. 16,
United Spanish War Veterans, Depart
msnt Of illinois, gave q reception and
ball che past Monday evening at John
sons Dzsanland Han, s59o s. STATE
street, which was = success IN every
Nay.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Eyes, he's an awful hustler. AE'H
ahead Of time. Seems to anddgaA
everything. Used to be a newsbO!'
Il see. Probably sold 6 O'Clock e@
lions at noonP' Cleveland Rl
Dealer.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

William, why can't We b,r.
sO a1 like other people, nave NJ
Because, my dear. In hav. :,
a new roof on the no.. lave to n
VIII hold a mortraye"-p oeto's /
American. -6altnM
The broad ax., 1914-10-17
Her Only ExeuSs.

Did you hear about Mrs.. Aidly's
latest7 She actually kissed her hus-
band goodby at the railway station"
The simple old dearI She's hope
lessly old fashioned" Plain
Dealer.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

The Hague Is now located as a small
section Of peace influence entirely sur
rounded by war.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Betty sid that n any nan kisssd
her without warning abe would scream
for her father.'
what ala Jon DOR
4 warned hG"-Boston Transcr;pG
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

A public pest We all des2i,s
HIS actions make US Tros1
ne guesses the wrong numbs-
And rings our telephone
Spokane sDokesman-R.,,.-
The broad ax., 1914-10-17
Quit The nhlna.

NeI-Bessy always dresses apprOprI-
ately for every occasion
Belle-Yes. I noticed she wore a drusI
OF panns velvet when she danced -the
kitchen sink"-Baltimore American.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Jamaica has had q slight earthquake
By way Of contributing It's quota TO the
general disturbances Of the day.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17
Ruanialana

A most Suspicious man n Gresa.
A creature fllsd with doubt ana fsara.
- dozen umes win him I've been
When he REFUSED 70 trust his -.
-Dotroit Frea Pr.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17
Tearing the Halo.

Tearing the Halo.
THAT mans been In the wars He
told me OF all the men he killed and
all the wounds he got"
Then / suppose those are his scars
OF glory he was shOwingT
Nope. That's where our dog bit
him "-Baltimore American.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

The fat man leans against the houSs
And thus 1t can be seen
He's fat because he eats too much
And that's what makes him Isa-
Cincinnati EnlIrg
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

That man viii fall into some ki,E,
OF unexpected woes
Who thinks that what he merely ts.n
Is what he really knows.
Washington sa.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Should this war keep on six months
longer the troops win al Be sunenng
from spring fever.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

The world old question of how the
other half lives Is fast being answered
In the negative.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

It often happens that a critical point
in life comes to rs disguised Is an eV-
eryday incident.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

did the medicine prescribed s,-
q sopOrific effectT"
-Oh, no, doctor; it only put ma.
sleep."-Baltimore American
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Statistics are a comfort great
We twist them with sincere delig1
No matter what the figures state,
Each makes them show that he Is ~
Washington s1f
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Those armies, Il appears, are like
the lamb in the Ions eage-they have
to be renewed frequently.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

II the war Is long one keeping IN
its present rate human enduranee WIN
establish new record
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

She was completely PROSTATE, -,
made very Ill by his perddy."
did she recovery?
"Yes, $5.OOO."-Boston TraDsc-,,.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

The man who borrows trouble doesn't
have to worry over insistent demands
for its return
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

That new king Of Albania ought to
insist on the regular two week. nOti-
heation clause IN his contract
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Those deep trenches are great thinu
for the Scotch highlanderS. They save
% much Of than from exposure
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

The optimist Il q welcome visitor.
but the pessimist's room Is worth more
than his company.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

II seems to Be impossible to ana q
place to have a fight IN Europe where
there has not been 4 aght before.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Is life worth living? Not to the Eel
low who argues that It is not
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Wherever q house II being bum an
the neighbors disagree upon how u
could have been better planned.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

A man with a good conscience Is not
AFRAID when there Il q knock at the
door at midnight
The broad ax., 1914-10-17
PHONE DRExEL GSOS. .
JULIUS +. TAYLOR. Editor and Pubnshsr

Entered - Second-Class Matter Aug. -,
ISOR, ut the Post Once at Chicago ulinoisr
under Act Of March 9, 1S7S.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

The next crop Of European tourists
VIII have a fine assortment Of new
ruins to inspect.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Men are Ike fish. Neither would get
into trouble II they kept their mouths
shut
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

In the matter Of poverty's joys the
majority Of Us are oyerJoyed most Of
the time
The broad ax., 1914-10-17
At the Museum.

whats the matter with the glass
eaterY'
He ate a couple Of windows last
evening, and think he must have a
pane in bis stomach" Baltimore
American.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Wnen conscience keeps a man awake
at night the best thing he can do a 70
behave himself.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

II everybody at all times said every
thing that came TO his mind there
would be no more friendship.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Did you ever know a rich younl
woman TO marry a poor old mani
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

The safety first" reform does no
get much attention in Europe at pres
ent.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

An ounce Of prevention in't worth a
grain OF ocean sand unless Il b applied
10 the right spot
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Any person craving excitement can
get all he requires By becoming q war
photographer.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

AS a general thing. he who laughs
last carries IT a little too far.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

SEvery class in life seems %
In, peculiar disease" h,wI
Thsn I suppose jailOiroS - tie
breaking out and carpenters n
shingles. F-Baltim0re American
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

The dentist is an ar,is,r
Inc funny Mr.. Heath. SAD
Inc IN. pencil doesn't earn him
But I've seen him draw I'M ,a.. 0fsaS
Cincinnati E.,
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

ostsnd d thinking regrstfuIly or the
tine vhea eGEiD - raAeh 4 were
made mainly b. pleasure sesksrs
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

IL China wants commercial advice
we VIII give it-buy only American
goods.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

II doesn't take pneumonia and ty-
phoid fever long to break into the war
game.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Old ideas die hard A dispatch from
Holland speaks Of ''the concert Of the
poRers.n
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

As things now 60. there Is a good
deal Of money that isn't even whisper
ing.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

All the heroes haven't medals. Som
Of them have receipted bills.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

All voters are not druggists
But they show a lot Of skill
In mixing for the candidates
A mighty bitter pill.
Spokane Spokesman-Revis"'
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

A price that staggers humanity has
already been paid, with nothing to
show for Il.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

In travelling the road to success some
people always want to cut across lots.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

When there Is a ghost Of a chance
never give up until you give up the
ghost
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Self confidence q a good thing. yst
there i nothing - produetiss e ab-
sardity - az excess % Il.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

When q man begins to brag about
himself he starts advertising bis great.
est weakness.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

While men continue to make cannon
and use them, Isn't It almost useless to
pray for peace?
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Next time there is a concert OF the
powers it win not be at popular prices.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Sometimes people get along togethe
better by remaining apart
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Honesty Is the best policy, and In the
long run the premiums are less too.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Many a man who has a cool head Is
often accused Of having cold feet.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Behold the strong ditch digger
Who turns an easy tricA s..srt,
While others DO what tnsy
He always takes his pics psVisH.
-spokans Spokesman
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

The people In that institution ~
crazy about It"
'What Is itY' ,..,.
can insane asylum" BaIuln0'
American
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Not every fellow who carries a ham
mer can crack a joke.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

II we never had Affections we
couldn't appreciate being without them.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Mans nature to be good is Ike the
tendency Of water to flow downward.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

1t is easier to learn how not TO do
things than how to do them.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

A man may be tempted from with
out but he Is overcome from within.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Files delight to buzz and bite
And bother when you read o.
II Just had a bumblebee ~
I guess they wouldn't bother mai
Los Angeles T,,.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

You can't tell what a man knows by
what he doesn't say.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

knowledge is power-exeept whel
you know you're beaten.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Scientists claim they have about per
fected a black tulip. Why7
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

what are you going to wear al us
fancy dress ball, MabelY
I'm going to wear two skirts aDu
petticoat and go as an old fasni0H~
matron. "-Detroit Free Press
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Pay as you 60 and people win b
glad to see you come back.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

The battleship lacks shame saig D.
For, though she's well equippe@
She won't go into battle TIL
She Il completely stripped -,
Cincinnati Enquire
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Mary had a little lamb,
And then heard her hoiglr ami
what does that waiter thinH -i.'
He charged me half a doii ,e.-,rlrsr.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Lucky is the man who can make G
press agent OF every friend.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

saSd shs: -What lovely faShion~ ear
They DO % change from year = an -
THERE'S not much change
IA pockafbOoks, responded ne ,,,aueh-
~ThaY'rs woru q little shor'S'
And nghtaf thnn z year aSo. ,..,oOtsB
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Men don't marry for money nAi
often as they are supposed to. -
mo, for not half the girls su IN,
to be rich are wealthy.
Ledger.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

You can run down" a good man. but
you can't ride over him.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

THE OPENING OF BETHEL LITER
AIRY SOCIETY, THE ELECTION
AND INSTALLATION OF oFFI-
GERS OCCURRED LAST SUNDAY
AFTERNOON AT 4 P. N.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

There's q perfect match.
SSoF' -, ind
yes She's a spithre, and ne S-ssS
n STICK OF wood."-Detroit Free
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

A war without horrors would be IN
usual, to say the least
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Infant industries never had such {
chance for birthdays.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

A brittle thing Is speech, 50 tAA'
Precaution how you bend IL
For any man can make DIE
But mighty few can mend Il
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

About the easiest thing to get In this
world Is disgruntled.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

Most Of US would rather preach than
practice anyway.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

II you would make a tool Of a man.
select a dull one.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

But the best policy is one that Is
paid up.
The broad ax., 1914-10-17

B. MADDEN,
Congress from the First Congressional
e civil and political rights Of the Afro
lowing tribute as to the worth Of the
lis country, at the laying Of the corner
3 to the Eighth Regiment.
But the best policy is one that Is
paid up.
Most Of US would rather preach than
practice anyway.
II you would make a tool Of a man.
select dull one.
About the easiest thing to get In this
world is disgruntled.
Infant industries never had such a
chance for birthdays.
A war without horrors would be IN
usual to say the least
You can run down" a good man, but
you can't ride over him.
Pay as you 60 and people win be
glad to see you come back.
Lucky is the man who can make Q
press agent Of every friend.
Scientists claim they have about per-
fected a black tulip. Why7
1t Is easier to learn how not TO do
things than how to do them
Many a man who has a cool head Is
often accused Of having cold feet.
Honesty Is the best policy, and In the
long run the premiums are less too.
Mans nature to be good is Ike the
tendency Of water to flow downward.
A man may be tempted from with
out but he Is overcome from within.
II we never had Affections we
couldn't appreciate being without them. |
Next time there Is a concert OF the |
powers it win not be at popular prices. |
As things now 60, there Is a good |
deal Of money that isn't even whisper
ing.
When there Is a ghost Of a chance |
never give up until you give up the
ghost.
II China wants commercial advice
we viii give it-buy only American |
goods.
Il doesn't take pneumonia and ty-
phoid fever long to break into the war
game.
A price that stsggers humanity has
already been paid, with nothing to
show for II.
While men continue to make cannon
and use them, isn't It almost useless TO
pray for peace2
When a man begins to braR about
himself he starts advertising bis great
est weakness
Any person craving excitement can
get all be requires By becoming q war
photographer.
When conscience keeps a man awake
at night the best thing he can do a 10
behave himself.
should this war keep on six mouths
longer the troops win all Be suffering
nom spring fever.
An ounce Of prevention isn't worth n
grain Of ocean sand unless Il d appHed
10 the right spot
II the war Is a long one, keeping up
its present rate. human enduranes WIN |
establish new record
Self confidence - a good thfne. yst
there i nothing - productiss e ab-
sardity e. az excss q Il
The broad ax., 1914-10-17
THE BROAD AK

sOs1 FEDEHAL STREET. CHICAGO. III
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1914-04-08
HOW TO CURE ECZEMA, ITCH
AND ALL SKIN DISEASES

Don't suffer any longer with eczema
or any other skin trouble. Just apply
Hancock's Sulphur Compound to the
parts affected and it will stop the itch.
ing at once and cure the trouble per-
manently. Many sufferers from skin
troubles have written us that the Sui
phur Compound cured them after
everything else failed. Mrs. Evelyn
Garst, of Salem, Va, writes: Three
years ago I had a rough place on my
cheek. 1t would burn and itch. l was
fearful it might be Of cancerous ma
ture. I used different preparations,
but nothing helped it. One bottle of
Hancock's Sulphur Compound cured
me completely" To beautify the COM
plexion, remove blackheads and
pimples use Hancocks's Sulphur Oint-
ment. For sale by all dealers.-Adv.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1914-04-08
RINGWoRM SPREAD ON HAND

R. F. D. No. 2, Box 81, Ellitay, Ga.-
my sons ringworm began on the
back Of his hand. A fiery red spot
came about as large as a dime and II,
would itch so badly he would scratch
it till it bled. It began to spread till;
1t went all over his hand. He would
just scream every time l went to wash
it. The nail came of on the middle
finger.
II used -- and 1t got worse
all the time. The trouble lasted two
or three months. Then I sent and got
some Cuticura Soap and Ointment and
began to use them. ] would wash
his hand with the Cuticura Soap and
dry 1t good and apply the Cuticura
Ointment. Relief was found In two
or three days and the ringworm was
cured in two weeks after using Cuti-
cura Soap and Ointment" (Signed)
Josie Parks, Jan. 4, 1918. s.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample Of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post
card "Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston."-Adw
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1914-04-08

tors from whom I received only tempo
rary relief. l decided to give Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound a fair
trial and Also the Sanative Wash. 1have
now used the remedies for four months
and cannot express my thanks for what
they have done for me.
eff these lines will be Of any benefit
you have my permission to publish
them. Mrs. SADIE WILLIAMS, 455
James Street, Elkhart, Indiana.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, made from native roots andherbs,
contains no narcotic or harmful drugs,
and to-day holds the record of being the
most successful remedy for female ills
we know of, and thousands of voluntary
testimonials on file in the Pinkham
laboratory at Lynn, Mass, seem to
prove this fact -
If you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegeta.
BILE Compound will help you, write
to Lydia E. Pinkham MedicineCO.
(confidentiaD Lynn, Mass, for ad.
vice. Your letter will be opened,
read and answered by a woman,
and held in strict confidence.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1914-04-08
DRINK LOTS OF WATER E.s
TO FLUSH THE KIDNEYS
Eat Less Meat and Take Salts for
Backaehe or Bladder Trouble
Neutrailze Acids.

Uric acid in meat fexcites the kid
neys, they become oyerworked; get
sluggish, ache, and feel like Jumps OF
lead. The urine becomes cloudy; the
bladder is irritated, and you may DO
obliged to seek relief two or three
times during the night. When the kid
neys clog you must help them flush
off the body's urinous waste or you'll
be a real sick person shortly. At first.
you feel a dull misery in the kidney
region, you suffer from backache, sick
headache, dizziness, stomach gets sour,
tongue coated and you feel rheumatic
twinges when the weather is bad.
Eat less meat, drink lots Of water;
also get from any pharmacist four
ounces Of Jad Salts; take a table
spoonful in a glass Of water before
breakfast for a few days and your
kidneys will then act fine. This Ma
nous salts Is made from the acid OF,
grapes and lemon Juice, combined
with lithia, and has been used for
generations to, clean clogged kidneys
and stimulate them to normal activity.
also to n%eutralize the acids In urine,
so 1t no longer is a source Of irritar
ton, thus ending bladder weakness.
Jad Salts is inexpensive, cannot in-
jure; makes a delightful e~ffervescent
Whitewater drink which everyone
should take now and then to keep the
kidneys clean and active. Druggists
here say they sell lots Of Jad Salts t.
folks who believe in overcoming kid,
ney trouble while it is only trouble.
Adv . H '...a .fr W us. - SztIT