Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-10-08
The Daily. Story
Foghorn Fernando--By Edward Boltwood
r,nvrehtea 1914 by Associated Literary Bureau

| peared for the first time in the village
of Dolcuela one morning about 4
O'Clock and demanded admission to the
Pacific hotel. At that hour the sky wai
actually discharging the plump rain.
drops of a tropical thunder shower.
over his breakfast table Colonel
HopappIe, the landlord. described to
his guests the strangers advent
Judge Sloat, disbarred attorney
from Los Angeles, suggested, LET US
look over this person." and they went
to the sunny courtyard to inspect the
new arrival.
He was leaning against cart wheel
and gazing sadly at Hopapple's aged
pair of mules as they doZed in theiE
rope harness. Cross examined, he gave
the name of Fernando. He sought en-
ployment
How comes an honest man out OF
work." asked the colonel unreason-
ably.
"How, in TRUTH retorted Fernando.
Glow keep 1 not the job? Alas! Ayei
1t is some curse. toll. I slave. But,
listen, I recount to you"
The forthcoming torrent of words
was not in the least Ineligible. but
soon the disconsolate orator seemed to
be attempting, and with prospect Of
success. to make his story audible to
the entire county of San Bernardino.
"Ho-lee smoker blurted the Judge.
"Is that human throat or a steam
whistle -
"Car-r-r-ramba," roared Fernando.
filing his lungs for final effort
His shrek of woe was of miraculous
volume, and the mules instantly tossed
their venerable heels at the horizon
and few, panic stricken, out of the
court. The crowd jostled through the
gate in pursuit, while Colonel Hop
apple, who had been knocked over by
the runaways, addressed Fernando
warmly.
"Consarn it, why did you howl like
that?" said he.
"Ah, 1 was excite in the head" ex-
planned the little Mexican. Always
when 1 am excite then must I talk
with strength. But look, senior! But
regard! The mulos, they come back
on us already"
Between the blacksmith's and the |
hotel was Dolcuela's dry goods dis |
trict, consisting Of Tomas Monzon's |
store, and now from the store serenely |
emerged Monzon's daughter, Miss |
Anita, a large lady of an indolent !
mind. Physically and mentally Anita
slowly and there stood, as If !
paralyzed, in the path of danger.
1t was little Fernando who scurried |
first to her side and stopped the mules. |
That afternoon Fernando was hired
as assistant clerk in Tomas Monzon's
store.
Foghorn Fernando proved a pref
~ good clerk.
At the end of two weeks he received
his first wages and promptly proposed
to Anita behind a stack of ginghams.
1--WE shall see,' temporized Anita, !
and she allowed him to kiss her club
by hand. Then she dropped her eye
Iashes tenderly and left Foghorn alone |
in n paradise behind the ginghams,
where he commenced to mutter rap
to himself.
81 am going to marry with your
daughter" he announced to Tomas
MonZon.
''You-you!" jabbered Monzon, turn
ing vivid purple. You shall marry
with my broomstick. that is ALL" and
ne pushed Fernando into the plaza by
means OF that inglorious weapon.
1t happened that the Punishment was
witnessed by Padre Bonar, whose kind
heart was touched by the exile's de-
;pair. The priest Immediately con-
70 he NJ
signed him to the various duties of
handy man.
In his new surroundings Foghorn
worked hard and took new hope in re-
pect to Anita MonZon.
One Sunday morning before the serv-
ce he contrived to whisper to Anita in
he chapel porch.
rs Your love awaiting for me, most
dorable ?" breathed Fernando.
She nodded sweetly and returned
he secret clasp of his hand beneath
he folds of her mantilla. Fernando
learly tainted with delight as he
limbed the ladder to the little organ
oft, where his business was to pump
he decrepit bellows.
When the service was ended he leap.
d over the rail of the gallery. There
at his Anita directly beneath him, and
'oghorn in an ecstasy of pride gazed
own at her ample shoulders. The
Oy of ownership filed Fernandos
oul. and his lips moved, framing soft
Suddenly - what was
his?
The pew next to Miss Monzon's was
coupled that morning by Judge Sloat,
nd now. in horror. Fernando saw the
alse Anita's hand steal invitingly to-
ard the judge and saw the judicial
myers meet and caress it without ap-
aren't objection on the lady's part
tut not SO on Foghorn's. He lifted up
IS voice.
Luckily. most OF the congregation
al already filed out of the chapel, so
nat the ensuing panic crushed no
)dy. Padre Bonar strobe into the
sic with an angry face. and Foghorn
left the mission forever.