The Washington herald., 1914-05-29
- lIs.r.
- yIll1j5 4 xExzLN

& 3. y. u -. =.
oeAa1 Ea<1o<ot =. ohnFman. q MI
pefL bFo61os oheqt spccneFhand book
Rotoees ~ u heq8 Vhen6ser he can
spars ths tinne, sy1ng - 1ush odd
phrssss ana iifeIs-knoVn facts shout 1T
tls-iI1oWn eph5sc4a No stranee fact Y
100 hun,hss for GhsFnan to utilise In 9
speech 1oopss q htsr when ~ occasion
p 1ust risht,
oncs, when ~ was msmbsr Of the
STATE iegislsfurs fn ulipols. there vas q
bin up rfcvsding for the expenditure Of
money 70 erect 3 handsome monument
to prassrvs the memory Of the brave citi-
ssns who fought the Indians In . CERTAIN
little Illinois village At the time of a
historic massacre.
Sherman had no particular objection
to the monumsnt. but before letting the
bill pass hs desired to know more about
that Indian massacre. 30 he went to
the libraries and began to burrowf down
into the historical sections. He didn't
stop digging until he unsarthed several
musty old histories almost ~ old as the
STATE itself One Of these. with saffron
pages. seemed TO sherman to contain the
most plausibie account of the Indian at
tack. II said that there was not much
Of fght on that pccasion. for the rea-
son that all the white people ran when
they saw the Indians coming. This
seemed plausible 70 Sherman. because.
~ he explained, Il was exactly what he
would have done II he had been there.
He got up and made speech In which
he quoted the passage from the history
about the retreat OF the people whose
bravery was to be commemorated. Then.
having had his Joke. he sat down and
voted for the bill to erect the monument
Representative Robert Crosser. Of Ohio
the Congressman Who Never Gives Tips,
changed his hotel little while ago. and
the walters. not knowing who he was.
started In TO show him attention.
The first waiter hovered about him so
closely that Crosser could scarcely con-
sumo his victuals for thinking how dis
appointed that waiter would be when he
learned the true situation. So he ar
ranged TO have that waiter shifted u
another assignment The next waiter
made lees fuss over Crosser. but never
theless he showed that he had hopes Of a
stipend at the end of the week Crosser
was almost sorry that he does not believe
in tipping.
Hell hear that I was born in Scot
land" thought Crosser. ''and then he'll
recall the jokes that have been told about
Harry Lauder He'll think that / don't
tip because I'm too stingy to tip"
In order to convince the waiter that II
is a matter Of principle rather than the
money involved. Crosser went to the
marts the next day. bought q large box
of 10-cent cigars and handed them to the
waiter,
But h viii die before he will place so
much ss an old-fashioped cent piece
in the mans palm.
When yice-Presieent Marshall was
down in Folrida making a speech re-
Gently a member Of the reception comit-
tee pointed to some festoons Of bunting
and flowers that were draped artistically
across many of the business blocks and
dwelling places
What do you think of the decorations
in your honorT' he asked Marshall
Are they In my honor" inquired the
incredulously.
Certainly
well. I'm glad to have that assur-
ance." remarked Marshall. Ever since
the experience had down in Arizona
have been extremely suspicious about such
decorations. I got up and prefaced my
speech with profuse thanks TO the good
for going to 30 much trouble
to decorate their thriving little city on
my account. After had finished the
speech found out why 20 many persons
smiled when I gave my vote Of thanks.
The decorations were there because they
wer about to have q county fair"
npIx, onnn ~-;xht- >..y ~
any member of the House has Repre-
sentative Phillip p. Campbell. the haLd-
some and urbane standpat member from
Kansas. been robbed of the calm poise
and equanimity that Is his.
The one time when Campbell allowed
his associates to take MS goat from
him was in the course Of his speech re-
garding the Mexican near-war resoluticp.
After stating his reasons for objecting
to the wording of the resolution as then
drawn up. he WAS about to say, SUBJ
"If we must have war. I'll stay right
here and vote to appropriate the needed
funds Just as long as anybody"
He began: III We must have war. II
stay right here"
Then he paused to clear his throat.
That pause was fatal
The entire House, as one man. ap-
plauded and kept right on applauding-
And for the life Of him. old Phil Camp
bell couldn't see the joke.
Senator Moses E. Clapp. of Minnesota,
maintains a little Maryland farm near
Washington for the purpose Of having
some place to go and forget his troubles
when statecraft becomes too drearily
tiresome.
Copyright. iNi. by Fred c. Kelly. All rights