The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-06-21

, All he had to look after was forty
seven trunks Of samples ranging from
corn plasters to corsets and from ny
paper to flying machines. He also had
seventeen cases OF catalogues, and one
case Of nervous prostration. He left
the former with the Customs at Yoko-
hama on his arrival. together with his
hat and coat and collar. which he took
Off during tho debate, and he brought
the latter back hone with him on the
next boat.
Eventually Prof landed good thing.
II was foreign travelling Job with n
mammoth concern whose goods were
known from the Eastern Orient 20 the
| Western Occident. This Firm paid Prof
Real Money and asked for nothing but
| results.
| Prof gave them results, most OF
| which were rotten at first. But the
| Firm simply told him to hang on, and
when Prof got his second wind he be-
| gan 70 pour in orders that choked up
the Shipping Department and forced
Dear Firm to build a new plant cover
ins forty-seven acres under roof and to
buy q new wood cut for thcir letter.
heads
To make a thoroughly artistic fob OF
this dream we must add that on one of
Proffs globe hurdles for this concern
he invested some of Dear Firms ex-
! pense money in South African tin
proposition. and the shares jumped hun
dreds OF pounds over night. When Prof
swoke bright and early at 10 o'clock
next morning he found himself well
to do man and bought a new bambo
necktio and lived happily ever after.
Touching briefly but entertainingly
upon Proffs personal life and his politi-
cal beliefs in particular. we may say
that Prof has been a loyal Republican
every year Of his life, as well as two
years that he spent in Philadelphia. 1T
was Prof who voted for Taft at the last
election.
Prof Is Political Economist Of no
rotten ability. His reason for being
Republican Is sensible, scientific and
succ!nct. 1t Is as set forth hereinafter,
! 10 wit: his father was a Republican.
OF late, however. Prof has taken to
reading the Stockbreeders Companion
and other infammatory publications,
and at times he skates close up to the
brink of Radicalism. II he keeps on at
the giddy rate he has been going the
first thing he knows he will be advocat-
ing Soma wild socalistic doctrine like
Penny Postage.
In the matter of Religion, Prof also
reasons like high grade of bath sponge.
, His star eer-grabber Is that the re-
lgion OF his mother Is good enough for
| him. Every time you 20 to criticise 1t
he says you are critlcising his mother,
| and the gallery Is with him to man.
Like all good Christians, Prof thinks
: so much Of his Religion that he won't
wear it for everyday. 1t still squeaks
r when he goes out in 1t on Sundays.
, The now world famed BOJACK'S
|, CORRESPONDENCE SCHOOL was or
ganized by Prof recently in response to
/. the cosmic punch. Before 1t had cut
it's first tooth it had enrolled over seven
: million fuzzy paid up. Neutrality-suspicious.
ticipating students. This is record not
surpassed by any other advertisement
At the first meeting of the Board of Di-
rectors Prof was elected Chief Wisdom
Dispenser. He also conferred upon him
self the degree OF BUS. Doc"
BOJACK'S graduates are to be found
in all the leading institutions OF the
land. The Sing Sing Alumni Associa-
ton at its last annual dinner sent Prof
hand painted bomb designed as a
cigar lighter. The Commercial Down
) and ont League has repeatedly elected
Prof it's Honorary President. NIFTY
e LESSONS" Is the official organ of the
League. and helps to Increase the men,
. bership.
, To-day Prof is getting his ozone from
the very pinnacle of Success, and he has
the respect and admiration of everybody
! in Hicksville. Some OF his nearest
neighbours even speak highly of him
| N 1af hA
unlocked.
. Copyright. 1914. Reed Publishing Com
. PAM OF Ne,o York;