The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1914-09-25
81
GEORGE
ABE
.
FABLE
IN
SLANG

Club to compare Hang-Overs and find
out what had happened after the Roof
fell in.
Our Hero appeared just as the Boy
was getting ready to throw a Life
Line. He was greeted with a ribald
Shout and told to come running and
Save Himself.
The Moment had arrived for him to
be Man. Surrounded by Ice and
Squirters and Mixing Spoons and
orange Peel and Jiggers and Jaggers
he drew himself together and made
the Announcement.
For Moment they were stunned
by the Impact and then every Son Of
Peoria leaned back and let out q
Yowl. To think that real up-to-date
Fellow would pull any of that Old
Stuff! A puny Mortal trying to get q
Toe-Hold on the Demon!
They told him to forget it and quit
his Spoofing and remove his Over
shoes and ease couple of ellis into
his Reservoir and try to be Human
Being, however painful the Effort.
He came back with a few Gems
from the Family Medicine Book about
the Effect of the Accused Stuff on
various Organs. He did not propose
to feed himself anything that would
| cut the Varnish off of Woodwork.
The Hard Stuff had passed out Of
his Life.
The Cackles died away and were
succeeded by looks of Blank Dismay.
They saw that one whom they had
long regarded as reliable bench.
working Union Lush had turned in
his Card and deliberately made him.
self an Outcast.
They saw him order Vichy and go
to 1t as If it were a Beverage and
then they tore up his Credentials and
burned his Photograph and told him
to go out into the snowy Streets and
find a new Home.
He sat back and pulled the Grim
Smile which Savonarola wore when
ShOy pliOu LILO L dSOIS ulLl. l1c
was a Martyr and proud of his Job.
By the same Token, there is no Brand
Of Rectitude that grades SO pure and
spotless as that exhibited by the disin.
fected Dove who has not touched a
Drop for nearly "a hours.
They saw him go home with a
Magazine under his Arm and then
they sat around until all Hours, lap.
ping it up and progging his Finish.
They said he never would last Week
and when he Fell it would be Some
Splash.
They began to issue daily Bulletins
and watched the Case with much
Anxiety because they really liked the
Old Scout in spite of his Eccentrici.
ties. When they learned, at the End
| of Week, that he had played Butter.
milk to Standstill all up and down
the Quick Lunch Circuit and was at
his Desk every Morning with his Face
clean and Flower in his Coat, they
called Meeting of the Vigilantes and
decided that the Joke had been car
Tleu lar enough.
In the meantime, Our Hero had
learned two new kinds of Solitaire
and began to call around for Dish
of Tea with some distant Female Rela,
tives who had long supposed him
Dead. Along about the Cocktail Hour
he would find himself sitting first in
one Chair and then in another but he
Cashed big every Morning when he
awoke and found that Henry Katzen.
TANNER was not sitting on the Foot.
Board making Faces at him.
Only, sometimes he would stop on
a Corner and look all about him and
up at the Buildings and wonder If the
Town had always been as Quiet as at
Present.
After he had stuck for a Fortnight
the desperate ENJOYS from the Indian
Camp went after him for Keeps. The =
held 1t in front of him and splashed Il
on his Clothes and begged him to step
aboard with them and go right up to
the 18th Floor.
Probably if they had let him alone
he would have come sneaking back
into the Reservation to watch the red
Whlrl1gigs and pick few of those
N1ght-Blooming Martins but when
they tried to Stampede him, the old
New England Stock asserted itself, so
he substituted Rivets for Straps.
He is now the honored Associate of
those who play Cribbage in their own
Homes and eat Apples before turning
In. But If you want to get Line on
his Real Character just ask the Wet
Brothers. They will tell you that he
wasn't there with the Strength of
Character so he simply sank out of
sight.
MORAL: The Way of tha Ex.