The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-07-12
ny WILLIAM BRADY, VI. ID.

1t costs to raise a boy from the
time Of his birth to adolescence
The average expense given In these
reports is high, a lot higher than it was
when we were boys in Canandagua.
Perhaps it applies to the modern one
child family. No doubt 1t does cost like
anything to raise one solitary boy, but
when you count in a string OF younger
brothers the per capita rate dwindles
to the trifing price of an occasional
patch on the seat of the hereditary
trousers
We do not mean to assert that boy
in Canandaigua We're actually an asset
for the family treasury, but having
studied the estimates above mentioned
We must conclude they were certainly
not a liability Take Tommy Kennel.
for example
Tommy was the most inexpensive
liability that ever grew a wart His
warts may have had nothing whatever
to do with his upkeep, though We have
always believed there was some con-
nection between Tommy's warts and
his remarkably low cost of raising.
AS to that, however. you may judge
for yourself.
All the boys in our neighborhood
boosted more or less warts, but Tomm%
easily carried off The honors. That was
something We never could understand
for most of us handled toads as indis-
Hf..,.. Nt.f Il
search for hours just To- find toad
with a good crop of warts and hold
him in our hands and let him craw!
over our bare arms. But II was no
use; none of us ever achieved any
thing like Tommys showing.
His grand total was something enor-
nous He had mother warts that had
daughter warts Of their own, and !
honestly believe that II an accurate
census of Tommy Kennels verrucal
family could have been taken by eX-
pert enumerators the count would have
mounted well above a million. No one
who knew Tommy during the height OF
his fame will question the fairness OF
this estimate: no census enumerator
will, anyway
1t is said that the possessor of per
sonal pulchritude never shines forth
rroticeaby in conversational powers
Tommy had a select vocabulary FOR
formal occasions; It was limited to
Yes'm and Nom. on formal occasions
we said For emergencies that arose
in daily affairs Tommy's language
served him as vallantly as did his fists
Among the boys he was affectionately
known as Bulldog" from a fancied re-
fembance to that noble creature both
physically and temperamentaliy. The
women folk roundabout preferred 10 call
him sweetheart, owing to his cherubio
smile and his taking way OF hanging
his head, curling his tongue over one
check and peeking surreptltiousy oui
from under a tangled mass Of beautiful
Titan locks. They used to stop as
they passed by and bride Tommy Will
PENNIES in order to get close look a
him; the dantiest, prettlest woman
would beg Tommy for just one kiss, anC
NltH lbllllllS 'bulh SN"lih Wv "N'''''' -
longer she would turn to her friends
as he scampered off to the store with hl'
penny, and remark:
wei, really, did you over, ever in al
your life"
Granting that Tommy's warts were q
good million, as YOU surely Will, It Il
not Impossible that you may doubt So
many warts could be removed all at oA'
time without killing Tommy Yet they
were. We would include a photograph
of the patient before and after taking
only that is unprofcsslonal; and beside
we have always borne an unsul.ied rep
utation for veraCity, and there Is no par
Ii ,ular reason why our mere assertion o
the fact should not suffice. Enough
then, to say that we discovered a spc
cihc for Tommys warts. II you are in
terested We don't mind explaining hov
it came about.
In Tommys time the town had n
municipal water system. We had onl
individual driven wells and rain wate
cisterns Of limited capacity. Drought
were common and families fairly pro