Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-06

swered at doesn't make any difference to
me what topic you choose.
Glider was seated between John La Fargo
the painter, and Augustus Saint-Gaudens
the sculptor, and he held whispered con-
sultation with them for moment.
Then he raised his voice and said, "Mr.
Clemens, we'd like to hear from you on the
subject of portrait painting
When the laughter had died down Mark
began with solemn seriousness:
"Portrait painting? That's good sub
ject on which to make speech, very good
subject indeed. Portrait painting is an
ancient and honorable art; and there are a
great many interesting things to be said
about it. Yes, it's an honorable and an
ancient art-although 1 don't really know
how ancient it is. l never heard that Adam
ever sat for his portrait, but maybe he did.
Maybe he did, l don't know. And talking
of Adam reminds me of a man | knew when
| was boy, man named Adam, Adam
Brown" Then Mark spun yarn about
this Adam Brown, yarn that had nothing
whatever to do with the art of portrait
painting.
When the listeners had quoted down
again Mark went on with his irresistible
hesitation:
mo, don't believe that there ever was a
old fellows down there in the Holy Land.
And l don't think l ever saw portrait of
anyone of the old Greeks, either. Portrait
painting is an ancient and an honorable art;
but it is not quite SO ancient as that. The
Romans did have portraits; carved mostly,
not painted. I've never seen painted por-
trait of Caesar, Julius Caesar; but | recall
more than one of portrait busts. And
speaking of Caesar reminds me of a man who
had dog called Cesar and then Mark
spun another yarn about a dog, a yarn
wholly unrelated to the topic he was treat
ing.
Then he slipped along affably, dropping
into two other irrelevant yarns, tagged to
the names of Queen Elizabeth and Napoleon
Bonaparte. And that's all | know about
portrait painting; at least, that's all I'm
going to tell you about it this evening. 1t is
an ancient and honorable art; and I'm de-
lighted that you have given me this oppor
tunity to talk to you about it.
While Mark was thus proving that he had
mastered the principles of one kind of after
dinner speaking, there was CONSERVATION on
the countenances of several of the other
practitioners of the art, who foresaw that
they would soon be called upon, and recog-
nized that Mark had made it impossible for
them to venture on the discursive and di-
gressive humorous medley which they had
prepared themselves to deliver. On that
evening, at any rate, they felt themselves
compelled to stick close to the subjects as
signed to them; and if they chose to bring
in any anecdotes they made strenuous efforts
to show that their stories were pertinent to
their themes.
And it is only when the anecdote is i'm
pertinent, when it is Offended, that it is Of
fensive; and it is most offensive when it
thrusts itself forward to the forefront. A
plum pudding composed exclusively of
plums would be indigestibe and not nour-
ishing; and speech that is but string of
stories is quite as unnutritious. In its
proper place and in its proper proportion
the anecdote is most helpful; but it is
useful only as sauce, and is wholly unsatis-
factory as the main dish. 1t is good
servant and bad master. Put it in the
saddle, and it will ride to the devil Kept
in the saddlebag, to be drawn in the hour
of need, it may be useful as weapon of
precision.
OF all the many admirable after-dinner
~ speakers that have had the good luck
to listen to, James Russell Lowell was the
most admirable. He understood the prin-
-. e i