The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1914-01-02
UNCLE JERRY
By M. QUAD
Copyright. 1913. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

Of Spoonersville.
Uncle Jerry married a placid girl. 1t
was not known that they eve differed
In their opinions.
! Just after being married Uncle Jerry
began buying butter and eggs and ship
ping them to the city market. He
made a bargain with a commission
house that he was to get a certain
price the year round. He therefore
never had to worry about the state Of
the market. He shipped just so many
egg and just so much butter.
Uncle Jerry was a subscriber to and
a reader Of the Christian Brother.
His grandfather had taken it. and his
father had taken 1t. and he did not
want to hurt the. feelings of the editor
by dropping it.
The Christian Brother had no cur
rent news. 1t seldom referred to the
doings of bad men. 1t never printed a
line about gold bricks or green goods
or other confidence games. Uncle Jerry
sometimes heard drummers and light
ming rod men talking about such
things. but he paid little attention.
They said Of him the day he was fifty
years old:
"Why. he knows no more of the
world than a baby! If a slick man
should come along he could beat Uncle
| Jerry out of his Shirt"
And just the next day the entire vii
lage was thrown into Il state of on
sternation. In the midst of his placid
life and never having journeyed above
thirty miles from his front gate. the
good man suddenly announced:
Say. now. by gol. if l amt going to
the city,
"Why-why''-
"Yes. sir. l am. I'm going up there
to look around and see the sights"
His wife placidly corroborated this
announcement and did not betray any
symptoms of mysteries. and then a rush
vas made for the house of the min
lister whose church Uncle Jerry at
tended.
"Uncle Jerry is going to the city un-
less we can stop him." was exclaimed.
HE probably has some business
there" replied the good man.
mo. he hasn't. He says he's just go
ing to see the sights"
''WellI"
"Well. lie mustn't so. He'll be rob-
bed of his all and maybe murdered be-
fore he has been there Il day. Don't
you know how green and innocent he
is? Why. a boy Eve years old could
gum game him!"
The minister had q talk with Uncle
Jerry. but ii did not move the limo
cent. When lie took the stage to ride
seven MILES to the railroad 800 people
assembled to see him of. and not one
of them hut WAS anxious and worried.
Nothing happened to Uncle Jerry dur
ing tile seven mile ride.
He hail renrhtal II hotel and eaten
dinner anl WAS standing ut the door
looking at the crowds when a pedes-
TRAN walked up to him with hand out
and exclaimed:
why. bless me. If this amt Uncle
Jerry Spooner::"
'She he. sir. and right from Spoon
ersville today" was the reply as they
shook.
'You remember me. don't you?"
II do. YOu are Steve Taylor's broth
er. our dry goods man"
II am glad you remember me. ! have
lost my wallet and want the loan of
$40. will let you keep this watch
and chain as security till l. ace You
again."
THAT'S all right. and here's your ten.
You are certainly an honest man."
The fellow went away chuckIing.
and another guest Of the hotel VIII"
had been watching things stepped un'
to Uncle Jerry and said:
"Old man. you have been bunk"ed::"
II guess not"
what did you let him have for that
watch. which isn't wOrtl, Over So"
"Why. 7 let him have a counterfeit
ten dollar bill. of course: 1t was one Id
been carrying around for 'levpn years"
"Say. you don't need no guarlinn::"
was the comment of the man as he
fell back.
Two hours later. as Uncle Jerry wan
dered the streets. a man jammed his
hat down over his ears and yes and
grabbed bis watch. 1t was the three
dollar watch. The victim grabbed for
the thief and tore his neckscarf away
in the vain effort to hold him. When
his hat had been pushed up a police.
was ut his elimw to ask:
Ibid he touch you for your watrhy"
IF you call it touching he certainly
got the watch"
"a hayseed like you ought to hire
some one to walk out with you."
"Oh. I'm not complaining amy: I got
his necktie. and there seem to be- a
diamond in IT..
Seems" shouted the officer aftpr1|
inspecting the pin Why. II 1t isn't a
800 diamond then I'm q goat.
"A hundred dollars. eh? Well. that
ain't 10 bad for Il three dollar WATCH
Uncle Jerry was rpped into \ bucket
shop. but Instead OF losing S2O he made