The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-04-01
News. Features,
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49, Is Is
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NEWS SUPPLEMENT.
ISSUED as often as il comes
out. Free with every copy of the
Times, All the LATE news.
Everything absolutely incorrectly
A DAY OF FOLLY.
This Is a peculiar day. II is
very fine for the nuts, withal.
Place no trust in human nature
today. IL some kind friend says
you have been left a fortune. ex-
press your gratitude by swatting
him with a rock. Girls, accept
no boxes of candy-unless you
are fond of soap and red pepper.
Cheer up, however, II you are
stung. Remember II somebody
makes a fool of you, he probably
had to make a fool of himself
to do it.
LOCAL ITEMS.
Harry Phelps has an awful sore
toe today. He kicked a hat with
brick under it.
r. K. Mcfarland looked peeved
this morning. Wonder who got
him to bite?
Some one called up Dick Huck-
aba this morning and told him
there was murder being done at
Point Defiance. Dick went out
there-and now he is muttering
things about April Fool 1okers.
A girlish voice came over
Charley Rickabaugh's phone this
morning asking him to rush out
to South Tacoma and see her, but
Rick was wide awake.
d. l.. Sharp has a club out for
some one. A couple breezed into
the auditors office this noon and
asked for marriage license.
After he had made it out they
both laughed and walked out,
saying they had just been kid
ding him.
FATAL MISTAKE.
DR.. Royal A. Cove laughed long
and loudly today when some small
boys yelled after him that he had
dropped dollar, but he isn't
giggling now. He did drop 1t.
FLOODED WITH ANSWERS.
The puzzle editor is flooded
with replies from interested read
ers, who give their reasons why
five and five are eleven. Remem-
Der 81 900 is offered for the
right solution. Contest closes
May 1.
POLITICAL GOSSIP.
G. j. Langford says he should
be elected mayor because he is
in sympathy with the port dis
trict. Evidently he doesn't want
to be elected.
Rev. Stoever says he will not
chase jackrabbits in this cam
paign. This Is wise idea. Jack
rabbits can't vote.
M. w. Greer declares he is in
favor of cutting out the leaks in
the city, which loses the plumb
ing vote right away.
Charlie Atkins said last night
he stood for prohibition, but fail
ed to say the prohibition of what.
l.. Y. Stayton, Henry Benthien
and J. r. Turner made glowing
speeches in favor of the port dis
trict last night and prophesied
disaster unless there was such.
Their speeches were rendered
singularly effective owing to the
fact that they are all after jobs
as commissioners.
THE TANGOMASTER'S BRIDE
by Robber w. Chambermaid.
Yesterdays instalment was
stolen by the office boy. We are
very sorry.)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN.
Lucky.
Just as Guinevera and her low
er were about to fly in the aero
plane, a stern command was
heard, and the cruel father APP
peared. In his hand was a trusty
revolver. Very calmly, he told
them he was going to kill them
both. Their pleadings were to
no avail.
s'Then let us dance the tango
once before we die," cried Dainty
feet. Sobbing, Guineyera nodded
assent, and they danced it as vi
vaciously as possible with death
three minutes or SO away.
Can you teach me that?" ask.
ed father, beginning to wiggle.
Sure Mike" they cried.
Then 60 ahead and get mar
ried," said he, throwing away his
gun and starting a few tango
steps. And they lived happily
ever after.
The End--Heaven be praised.
SYMPATHY'S LETTERS.
q. = Who originated April