The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15

So II to tes, that you may laugh.
Pause yet awhile. good friends ~ my behcsting
Read well hs.vesn the lines and wisdom qusf
From what ,ho' testing il. is not mere jestine
There were a dozen characters in the
play. Scene first was a dialogue between
John ID. Trust and his daughter. Miss
Industry Trust. The former seemed quite
startled when the latter appeared. where
upon this conversation ensued:
Pa -ztber what is the NATTER
You look 50 much like your Icor dead mother
that YOU quite startled me-
.'Fa-A atbrr. have nc'rr SCI my mothers picture
What did her facr look hke!''
1t the moSi beautiful face ! ever Eaz.d
upon IL LOOKED like s. Ter cent sd vaiorem.'
What hspTenrd 10 herr
The Democratic scr thruwsr, st her
What the Public Got.
The entry of Hawkshaw Brandeis. ''the
deductive.'' added to the troubles of
John d. Trust and he asked, with some
annoyance, why he could not be left
alone with the little he possessed.
Never mind, fa-a-ather." said Miss
Trust. by the way, what is the little
you've Eot?'
1--WE got nothing but first mortgage
bonds" WIS the reply.
what became of the stock7''
oh" said John d. Trust, quickly.
the public got that
After a sentence or two to the effect
that numerous boards We're driving the
Trust family from pillar to post. which
led some one to remark that 1T appeared
to be a case of all board and no lodging,
Jim McReynolds'' entered.
Good night" exclaimed John d. Trust
Il must now go ont and water the
stock,I
Presently. too. came George Perkins"
Have you. George Perkins, our once
good friend. come in friendship or in
enmity?'' asked Miss Industry.
We'll" was the answer, considering
that there will he some Congressional
elections this year and We Progressives
need the wherewithal. I have come on
friendly mission BENT
George" said Miss Industry, you
touch me-
NO" came the quick rejoinder, mot
you; your father"
A moment of two later, "Jim Mercy
nolds' announced his ultimatum as to
the trusts. dissolve them" he declared.
Keep part Of what You have and draw
dividends without voting privileges from
the rest"
Meanwhile the noise of mob was
heard. An angry crowd presently ap-
preached and disclosed some well-known
politicians. They had a grievance. They
didn't want the trusts busted because It
left them with nothing to do. In the
midst of the hubbub the members of the
Interstate Trade Commission appeared,
introducing themselves as the brothers
Cheeryble Of the government"
Our motto is" said one of them.
Come rest on this bosom, my own
stricken DEAR"
THE trusts are to come to our COM
mission when they feel naughty" said
another, "and We tell them how to be
good
In solemn conclave a constitution of
business was signed. THE millennium
has come. and the lion and the lamb lay
down together" Thus speaking Hawk
shaw Brandeis, his occupation gone,
passed brokenheartedly from the scene
and into history. followed by all the
rest Apropos Of frequent scenes at the
White House all the financiers present
were given the quill pens with which
the constitution of peace had been signed.
Mr.. p. S. Hill and Mr.. b. b. Hampton.
president and vice president of the
American Tobacco Company, were in
cluded in this list as representing "big
business"
The Pas. Christian Fire BriEaSe.
The Pass Christian Fire Brigade was
funny enough as a spectacle, because its
members looked like comic valentines and
carried buckets, axes, ladders and garden
hose, so as to give the impression that
they were real firemen. The feature was
more than picture. There was consider
able satire in the explanation of the
twelve fire-fghters as to the reason why
their train was thirty hours late and had
thus compelled them to call upon Presi-
dent Wilson at the dinner instead Of go
ing to the White House. After explain
ing that the delay was not the fault OF
the railroad, az number of things were
said to have happened They illustrate
20 forcibly the extent Of railroad regula-