The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1914-11-06
81
GEORGE
AIDE
FABLES
IN
SLANG
| n,.,,o,n.,,. q c,on,.p .ne

Do not mistrust the Tale, for every
Buccaneer from Broad Street, N Y,
| to the ST. Francis Bar at the Golden
Gate, was once Poor Boy with Store
Clothes on his Back and Grand Lar.
ceny in his Heart.
When Angie went to visit Lib, after
the Lapse of Many Years. you can
Gamble that they had Some Talk to
unload
| Angie carried a Wicker Suitcase
costing $1.9S and her General Get-Up
was that of the Honest Creature who
may be found in any Hotel Corridor at
2 A. M. massaging the Mosaic Floor
with Hot Cloth.
Get mel" said Wilbur's wife, drop
| ping YEARLY to Divan in the Style of
Louie Quatorze. Pipe the Lid! 1t is
1906 Model and the Aigrette is made
Of Broom Straw. Take Peek at the
shine Tailor-Made and the Paper
Shoes. Ever since they wished that
False Alarm on to me have been Civ.
ing correct Imitation Of Lizzie the
] Honest Working Girl. Each Evening
he comes home to give me a Sweet
Kiss and promises me Trip to Eu-
rope and Set of Gray Squirrels, and
next Morning, when l get up to re.
move the Oatmeal from the Fireless
Cooker, l find on the Back Porch a
| large Roughneck in a Sweater who
has come to shut off the Gas or take
away the Parlor Furniture. Then
think of you, with your Closets hang
ing full of fluffy Frocks and your Fin
gers crowded with Jewels and your
Man rushing in every few Minutes to
slap you in the Face with Hundred
Dollar Bill. You can take it from me
Dearie, would jump the whole Game
were it not for the Children. / have
put in my whole Life trying to realize
something on Promissory Note that
was Bloomer to begin with. He has
kidded me along ever since the
Worlds Fair at Chicago, feeding me
on Canned Stuff and showing me pic
lures of Electric Runabouts and Coun
try Places on Long Island. In the
Meantime l am playing in Great Luck
if can get a Trolley Car to stop
for me-"
At this point the Wife of Otis arose
and, pulling the rose-colored Sill
Wrapper more closely about her made
to-order Form, interrupted with al
Imperious Gesture.
Back up. Angie!" she exclaimed
you should be Happy Woman. You
have your Husbands Love and you
have your Children, both of which are
denied Woman of my Assured Posi-
ton in the Two Minute Class of the
Terrible Spenders. Talk about Hard
ships! Do you know what it is to lead
the Grand March, surrounded by 300
Assegai-Throwers, Harpooners and
Cannibal Queens, who are pointing
you out as the Wife of the Malefactor
who Is about to be Tried in the Fed
eral Courts? Did you ever Staggel
around all Evening with 100000 worth
of Tiffany Merchandise fastened on
to you-expecting every Minute to be
hit in the Couture by some Rallies
Did you ever, during Formal Dinner
hear the Door Bell tinkle and find in
the Hallway Reporter from a Morn
ing Paper who wishes to ask your
Husband il he denies his Guilt or car
give any Reason why Sentence 81
Death should not be passed upon him
Are you Wise to the Fact that tbs
Wife Of Successful Business Man
now occupies Niche In the Hall OIL
Fame right next to the Sister of Jesse
James? You are in Great Luck. Nc
one takes a Shot at Failure"
Having arrived at this cordial I'm
Outstanding, each leaned against the
other and had Good Cry, after which
they chirked up and paid lot of at
tention to well-preserved Bachelor
who dropped in to get warm and take
a slight Fall out Of the Side-Board.
| MORAL: When Wealth walks In al
the Door. the Press Agent comes IL
through the Window.
|