The Washington herald., 1914-03-20
Statesmen, Real and Near.
BY FRED c. KELLY.

Il ~ H11 -. H
The bravest member OF the President'i
cabinet is Postmaster General Bosieson
He In the only member who at oil times
dares tell the President exuctly Whist he
thinks about q given proposition--regard-
less Of having views that may differ from
the Presidents.
| The average cabinet officer figures that
perhaps the President Is only human and
will have the greater respect for those
that seem to think Just as he does. And
all are anxious to keep the mans coed
will and esteem. do not say that they
sit about like q row OF castor-oil bottles
and never have the nerve to disagree
with the President at all, but they do not
! reluctant to come right out and say:
"Mr. President, I think you are taking
a wrong view Of this matter"
The only man who invariably goes to
the President and speaks right out what
is in his mind Is Burleson. Candor is
| such a predominant trait with Burleson
that he could not do otherwise than tell
the whole truth as he sees It. And there
is nothing to indicate that the President
thinks any less of him for SO doing.
One may recall In this connection the
remark Burleson made some time ago
In introducing two men on the street
'Mr. Smith," says Burleson. ''let me
Introduce Mr.. Jones, one of the foremost
Joe Bailey bootlickers In Congress"
He wasn't Joking, either.
The greatest pride Of Senator Isaac
Stephenson. OF Wisconsin. is the fact that
he used to possess q great deal Of skill
in, hrixfnO ai~ -hnAtaA Whan
you harness up six oxen and undertake
to drive them over a rough lumber road,
each OK is certain to conceive a different
notion OF the duties OF its position To
keep their movements correlated Is a
trick. 1t Is almost as difficult as trying
to keep pace with modern dance steps.
Isaac Stephenson declares that he could
handle six oxen as well as any man In
the north woods.
When the Senate was considering re-
Gently the proposition greatly to enlarge
the scope OF the parcel post. 1t was re-
marked that the rural delivery wagons
would soon have to be drawn by six
horses.
We'll, I could get a Job on the r. F. d.
routes then" remarked Senator Perkins.
Of California. in a cloak-room conversa-
ton. I used to drive six horses, and IL
do say it
Did you drive with two lines OF six
lines?' interrupted Senator Stephenson.
Two lines
Huh" grunted Stephenson. that's
nothing. You're not really driving un-
less you have at least six lines in your
hands"
Attorney General McReynoIds pre-
faces nearly everything that he has to
say with a story. The only other Cab
met member who perhaps tells as many
stories as McReynolds is Secretary
OF the weIl-known War De-
partment, but the odds are in favor
OF McReynolds for first place He Is
as full OF stories as a picnic pie OF ants
Occasionally McReynolds tells a
story with a point so subtle that only
those with keenly pitched sense of
humor can get him. The other night
at dinner he sprung something that
oCcas:Oned not the slightest ripple of
laughter. lie waited reasonabl,
length Of time and then observed:
Well, at least. don't cry about it,
Nobody got that. either. They didn't !
understand what II was that they |
weren't TO cry about So McReynolds |
added:
It'll come in. maybe, by freight"
An Englishman was seated next to |
and his curiosity was
aroused:
What do you mean when you say !
,ome by freight he inquired.
slowly. like a freight train,- ex-
planned McReynoIds; they'll get the
story II they wait long enough. don't
fOu see?'
a great light dawned in the English
mans eyes. "Ah" he exclaimed, you
mean steam packet. Story shipped by
team packet. 'Twould be utterly alb
'urd. wouldn't IJ-ha, ha. ha."
Representative Simeon u. Fess, Of
)hio. met an old friend in Washington
he other day and they fell to discuss
ng the ravages of time. especially in re-
ard to loss of hair.
Yes, i have a great prejudice against
'eing bald" remarked Fess' friend, but
guess I'm elected"
We'll. you know the old story about
he big fly and the little fly" said Fess.
The big fly and the little fly were prom
nading across an expansive bald head.
nd the big fly remarked to the little
ly: See this fine wide boulevard here?
can remember when it was nothing
ut a narrow Cowpath.
Copyright. 1915. by Frrd e. Kelly. An rights 70
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