Middletown transcript., 1914-10-24
THE BAD BOY IN LOVE

care ycu a ChrIstian?" asked the
bad boy of the grocery man, as that
gentlemen was placing vegetabl out
in front of the grocery one morning.
"Well, hope so, answered the gro
ceryman. 81 try to do what is right,
and hope to wear the golden crown
when the time comes to close my
books"
''Then how is it that you put out a
box of great big sweet potaroes, and
when we order some and they come to
the table they are little bits of things,
not bigger than a radish? Do you ex-
pect to get to heaven on such small po-
tatoes when you use big ones for
sign?" asked the boy, as he took out a
silk handkerchief and brushed a speck
of dust off his nicely blacked shoes.
The grocery man blushed and said he
did not mean to take any such advan-
tage of his customers. He said it must
have been a mistake of the boy that
delivers groceries.
Then you must hire the boy to make
mistakes, for it has been so every time
we have had sweet potatoes for five
years said the boy. ''And about green
corn. You have a few ears stripped
down to show how nice and plump it is
and if we order dozen ears ther are
only two that have got any corn on
at all, and pa and ma get them, and the
rest of US have to chew cobs. Do you
hope to wear a crown of glory on that
kind of corn?'
''Oh, such things will happen" said
the grocery man with laugh. "But
don't lie > talk about heaven Let's talk
about the other place. How's things
over to your house? And say, what's
the matter with you? You are all
dressed up and have got a clean shirt
on and your shoes blacked, and notice
your pants are not raveled out so at
the bottoms of the legs behind. You
are not in love are you?
Well, should smil :" said the boy, as
he looked in a small mirror on the coun-
ter, covered with fly specks. "a girl
got mashed on me, and ma says it is
good for boy who hasn't got no sister
to be in love with girl, and so l kind
Of1tumbled to myself, and she don't go
no where without l go with her.
take her to dancing school and every
afre. Say, was you ever in love?
Makes a fellow feel queer, don't it?
Well sir, the first time l went home
with her put my arm around her, and
honest it scared me. 1t was just like
when yoI take hold of the handles of a
lectric battery, and you can let
go till the man turns the knob. Honest
was just as weak as cat. thought
she had needles in her belt, and vas
going to take my arm away, but it was
Just like it was glued on. l asked her |
if she felt that way too, and she said
she used to, but it was nothing when |
you got used to it. That made me
mad. But she is older than me and |
knows more about it. When l was &C.
ing to leave her at the gate she kissed |
me, and that was worse than putting |
my arm around her. l trembled all |
over just like l had chiIls but l was as |
warm as toast She wouldn't let go |
for as much as minute, and l was |
tired as though l had been carrying
coal up stairs. I didn't want to go |
home at all, but she said it would be |
the best way for me to go home, and |
come again the next day and the next |
morning l went to her house before |
any of them were up, and her pa came |
out to let the cat in, and asked him
what time his girl got up, and he LATED |
and sald had got it bad, and that l
better go home and not be picked till l |
got ripe. Say, how much does it cost |
to get married."
"Well, should say you had got it
bad, ''said the grocery man as he set out
a basket of beets. ''Your getting in
love will be a great thing for your pa.
You won't have any time to play any
more jokes on him."
30, guess we can find time to keep
pa from berg lonesome. Have you
seen him this morning? You ought to
have seen him last night. You see'my
chum's pa has got setter dog stuffed.
It's one that died two years ago. and
he thought great deal of it, and he
had it stuffed for an ornament. Well, my
chum and me took the dog and put it
on our front steps, and took some cot
ton and fastened it to the dogs mouth,
so it looked just like froth, and we got
behind the door and waited for pa to
come home from the theatre. When
ma started to come up to the steps,
growled; and pa looked at the dog and
said. "Mad dog, by crimus', and he
started down the, sidewalk and my chum
barked Just like dog, and 'Ki-yi'd"
and growled like dog that gets licked,
and YOU ought to see pa run. He went
around in the alley and was going to
oat in the basement window, and my
chum had a revolver with some blank
cartridges, and we went down in the
basement, and when pa was trying the
window the chum began to fire towards
pa. Pa hollered that it was only him,
and not burglar, but after my chum
fred four shots pa run and climbed
O,ror the fence. and Then we took the