South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-02-09
TATESMEN
REAL AND NEAR
BY FRED c. KELLY.


under consideration. that. if he car
ries it out. will shed a great deal of
JOY and gladness and enchantment in
the district that ne represents in con-
gress.
The thing that gave Tim his idea
was seeing another congressman die
tating a speech into photograph for
his stenographer TO copy of at her
leisure.
"Oh. no." cried Tim. why not?"
Why not what?' asked the other
member.
Why not place a photograph in
front OF YOU over in the house when
you talk? % inquired Tim.
Il presume there would be no OBJ
lection conceded the other states
man. but there's no need of it. The
/ official stenographers there take
down everything you say.
You're "A miscellaneous mutt" as
servated Tim harshly. You have no
more imagination or sapience than
the average barnyard crow. Os course
the official stenographers take down
what you say. but do they can the
Caruso-like words into a cylinder
that will talk them back TO the folks
at home? I'll rig up a photograph
one these days and stuff il with
few statesmanlike utteranceS that
Will be heard the week following in
every school house and meeting hall
in my district I'll give my consti-
tuents a real treat and make them
glad they're alive. Thanks for the
suggestion" And he fastened out.
Ansberry has a large voice of great
splendor. such as might come from
/ trombone crossed with a flute. 1t is
a voice that should convert a phono-
graph into a caldron of joy. Tins
l.. 4, To- 20 n
master record when he delivers a set
\ speech in the house, and from that
papa could get several duplicate rec
/ ords that could be distributed
/ throughout his district. Then 1t
would be a simple matter to have
| these loaned out TO the humblest
! homes.
Imagine the deligh,y that such
system would bring. The family is
gathered about the center table IN
/ front of the fireplace. Mother is con-
/ tentedly reading a copy of Elwell on
/ Bridge, from the circulating library
up the street. Father and the eldest
/ daughter, Lura-oTiginally Laura
are studying diagram showing how
To master the Castle walk in your
I own home in six lessons mailed in
plain wrapper on receipt of 90 cents
in stamps. The Boy Edwin. who is
I'm the high school, is cutting scrolls
/ out of bright colored paper, and little
/ Lucy has her arithmetic in her lap
trying to ascertain how many buttons
Ann would have if her aunt gave her
six more. On the center table is
/ photograph and father has thrown
it Into the high" The little family
group are hearing their congressman
talk about the state of the union, or
/ how to make a wicked monopoly act
&c -rT1. nc inc
1t is just like being in the visitors
/ gallery at Washington. or like haV-
ing ones congressman drop in for an
evening in person, and a great deal
better.
Indeed. is not the idea swell?
Sen. William H. Thompson OF Kan
sas, is said TO be a first rate painter
not a sign painter or house painter
but regular artist, you know, with
I a palette and an easel and an eye for
color and perspective. His speciality
is landscapes and he can paint pic
ture that looks just like whatever the
scene is he is using for a target.
Thompson was a lawyer before he got
into the habit Of holding office. but
he says that if he ever gets out of
public life he will become "A profess
sional picture painter for living.
The house committee on foreign
affairs was discussing the question of
appropriating SIS. 900 for the so-call-
ed Canadian boundary commission.
Rep. Chimmee Fadden Townsend of
New Jersey, was boisterously opposed
TO the appropriation. He said the
commission was nothing but a snug
little harbOr for lame ducks and serv-
ed no purpose whatsoever. being as
useless AS an afternoon tea or a mole
on the cheek. He pounded the table
and looked as if he might bite any
body who dared vote for the appro-
priatiOn.
A certain other member. however,
was equally positive that the commits
sion was doing a noble work. and
that the appropriation should be
made.
What do you mean by standing
for such an outrage as that appTopri-
atone asked Townsend OF the other
member, in a hurt tone, at the close
OF the meeting.
ITO tell YOU the truth confessed
the other man. 1--WE got a friend
who's candidate for a place on the
commission"
"Oh. well then. that's different"
nodded Townsend. greatly relieved.
Il supposed you were favoring it on
principle"
about the case OF a society woman
who had weird experience at a
dance. Among the guests was pro-
fessional dancing teacher, who had
been in town to further the tango
movement. He was standing on the
sidelines like an Old-fashioned wall
flower when a kind hearted society
woman. the wife OF a senator. took
pity on him and resolved to tuck him
under her wing
Would you not like To dance this
next number" she inquired sWeetly.
Il have no objections" replied the
matter Of-fact young man, but ii is
only fair 10 tell you that l charge
$25 an hour"
Copyright 1914. by Fred {. Kelly.
All rights reserved.(
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