Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-11-29

Take it from me, kid, you better
change your brand That stuff you use
has got you going
He thought for a moment. He leaned
over the counter and said, not I'M
kindly:
one on the half shell and rouge it's lit
tie face for you"
you" said the reporter. can take a
long running jump. Half OF the oeiay
in getting things done is caused by the
boneheads who never heard OF new IN,
ventions or progress. or anything else
when you find that pink one you're
looking for" said the other. ironically.
you might look up a green one Tor
me- I'm Irish
Next the reporter tried certain es-
tablishment that has national repu-
tation for it's oysters and ale. He
hunted out the proprietor, dlgnlneu
man, who Is painfully conservative
when oysters are concerned. he pc
lieyes there is certain way an oyster
should be eaten: the style differing as
the method Of preparation differs II
he had his way every man, woman
and child would assmilate his oysters
with chart in front OF NM.
do you believe" inquired the re.
porter. that an oyster can turn PINK!
The proprietor nodded toward man
who was sitting not far away.
Watch that man." he suggested
Then followed one OF the most pam
full scenes imaginable. The oyster
eater was a large fat man. He hao
already worked himself into nervous
perspiration. In front OF him was a
large plate of steamed oysters. Labo-
riously, like great wairus pusnlne d
billiard ball, he would pursue single
bivalve with his fork. Round and round
the plate he and the bivalve would go.
Finally he would spear it and a look
of triumph would come over his race;
He would lift the oyster slowly toWara
his nav. Then it would drop back
into his plate from a height of about
nine inches and would land with a
splash in the middle of the sauce
The gentleman would then sigh. shake
his head mournfully and rene" MS
efforts.
ITS a wonder to me that all oysters
don't turn pink with shame" averred
the proprietor after the two mad
watched the diner for while. They
would if they had particle OF sell.
respect. Think how an oyster must
feel when it is being bullied and chiv-
Wed around like that Think of the
sense of aimlessness that must possess
it's soul If l was an oyster and any
BODY showed me around like that
would turn pink and blue and every
other color in the rainbow.
They watched the diner for n while
longer The proprietor became thought
full.
TT would not surprise me-" he said.
"if there were such things as pink
oysters An oyster is naturally
modest thing. If it was not. why
should it wear such a large thick
SHELF"
All this was very good but it was
not productive of any pink oysters
Pink oysters seemed to be scarcer than
religion in a mining camp. And 1t
was their lack that was responsible for
the searcher's blunder. 1t happened
this way.
Hurrying down the street he came
upon a young wife who was Juggling
a market basket. The market basket
irresistibly attracted the a sear sannt
many long hours in markets, might
have happened upon a pink oyster.
When he asked her she showed no
surprise. Instead she became enthu-
siastic.
..They would match my new pink
china" she said. And just think how
they would surprise Charlie!
Undoubtedly they would" agreed the
reporter. ,,
~
like that"
She turned back toward the market.
Il must purchase some right now,
she declared.
The reporter recalled his own ef-
forts to locate one. He furthermore
Imagined the remarks that Charlie
would enunciate when his wife told
him, that evening. how she had spent
the day in trying to buy some speci-
mems He realized that the next time
orli Ia
be unpleasant.
Late in the day the reporter visited
the Department of Agriculture. Like
believer who would revive his fam
ished faith he sought great official.
May l look at one of your pink
oysters?" he asked.
The great official took him to small
room and thereof. miracle of
miracles small glass were blush
ing specimens of the creature he had
been hunting for all day long. He
couldn't take them away. He had no
desire to. He had seen the pink oys-
ter.
It appears that the pink oyster was
sent to the department officials by an
individual in New York who had seri-
Gus doubts about it's ability to slide by
the pure food law. Its she'll generally
resembles that of an ordinary oyster.
Not until it Is opened does the oyster
establish it's difference.
The specimens obtained by the de-
partment were obtained off Long
island. Specimens. the official. stated.
were occasionally found in the restau-
rants of Gotham.
But what on earth makes it pink"
asked the reporter weakly.
THE assumption of the department"
renlied the Official lis that the oyster