The log cabin Democrat., 1914-02-12
4 ROYAL DECREE.

MT. A. w. Parke, who is serving as press agent for Senator Clarke, is sending out to the country newspa- pers letters of instruction to the peO pie informing them of the customs of His Royal Highness, and advising them how they shall acts when their towns are graciously favored by visit from this most excellent digni- tary. Of course this will be greatly appreciated by the humble vassals of the senator, whose greatest privilege and duty it has been to vote for His Highness for the various positions he has been willing to accept. From time immemorial it has been the custom among all monarchs that visitors be- fore being admitted to the Presence should be properly and minutely in- structed as to the form of obelsance they should make.
 But, in his benefcent magnanimity, the senator has decreed far more demoncratic court procedure than his subjects had any reason to expect. We had been led to believe that upon ad- mission to the august Presence it were necessary that one should prostrate himself and knock his head thrice against the floor. But, barring the fact that ce-seekers are absolutely forbidden to approach the imperial parsonage, and that no one must pre- sume to offer to entertain him, the rest is comparatively simple. The de- cree only sets forth that the audience must applaud the royal utterances at proper intervals, must be careful to do nothing which would in any way annoy the senator and must be eX- tremely careful to conserve his con- fort and energies to the utmost de- gree. To the favored few who can prove to the satisfaction of the body guard that they are not seeking office. and that they are of sufficient import ance and standing in the community, it is understood that special instruc- ton will be given orally and limited audiences will be granted.
 Inasmuch as His Senatorial Excel lency may condescend to pay visit to the serfs in this portion of his em- pire, and realizing that if he does all will desire that their homage will be appropriate, we are reproducing be low some of MT. Parke's other instruc- tions and trust that our readers, in the event of royal visit, will govern themselves accordingly:
 "Delivering such a speech as Sena- tor Clarke did on Saturday, is con tinuing to do this week, is a physical exertion and mental strain. Sena- tor Clarke works with his audience, and the more it is pleased, the greater is his effort. Such exertion must tell upon candidate, but to this straln Senator Clarke has an added one which his friends should assist hlm Tn overcoming This is the little confl- dential confab with office-seekers, or friends of those who would not refuse if government plums were shook down in their yards.
 Nothing is so tiring to Senator Clarke as this endless see-saWing by office-seekers. Second to that, comes the we'll intended, but misdirect- ed kindness on the part of his friends who seek to entertain him while in their towns Delivering two speeches a day, travelling by packhorse, bus, automobile, freight train, and occa- sionally in the vanished cars, is enough to wear away the constitution of a young man. Senator Clarke IS no longer young, but as statesman he is at his zenith. He must conserve his energies if he continues the schedule of speechmaking, though 1t IS hardly necessary that he do that Tn order to be again chosen as Arkansas greatest representative in the United States"