davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS
rom the Cincinnati Enquirer.

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
 If a man stuck a pin in a pincushion every time he kissed his wife during the first year of his married life, and after that pulled out pin every time he kissed her. it would take him about seven years to pull all the pins out.
 There was a time when a sash was something that was worn around the waist. But nowadays it starts at the knees and runs all the way up.
 When the bride finds her thoughts wan dering from him to the price Of ham and eggs, the honeymoon goes down in the cellar and starts to hunt fort Ia gas leak with 8 lighted match.
 If you let her think you think she will she won't. If you let her think you think she won't she will
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
Boost for Nesbitt

From the Gadsdcn Journal.
 Considerable criticism has come from some members of the Alabama press regarding the selection by State Chair man Bibb Graves of W. D. Nesbitt to manage MT. Hendersons campaign this fall. The basis of the criticism is the fact that MT. Nesbitt was an ardent supporter of MT. Conner. But the fact remains that Mr. Nesbitt is well fitted for the position, and is loyal to the choice of Alabama democrats. He will make the democratic majority for MT. Henderson this fall as great as it has been for any of his predecessors.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
National Guard Excellence

The prize contest in which two companies of the Alabama Natlonal Guard took part was feature of Dir minpham's State Fair yesterday; and this fact aroused renewed interest In our citizen soldiery.
 Company c of the Second Alabama infantry and Company K of the Fourth Alabama infantry each made fine appearance as they marched through the streets, and at the fairgrounds their drilling stirred the lookers-on to great pitch of enthusiasm. Judged on "points"-dress, number of men in line, drill and so on-Company K was the winner, but Company C acquitted itself with distinction.
 The ordinary observer cannot fail to remark the difference between the organized militia of today-officially known to the United States govern ment and the state governments as the National Guard-and the poorly dis ciplined militia of a few years ago When volunteers were called for to serve in the Spansh-American wal the response was prompt and patriotic Had this government needed an army twice or three times as large as was deemed necessary, there would have beau no scarcity of men; but with few exceptions the volunteer companies were raw" If the war had been on a large scale months would have been required in training the militia, but ever since 1898 the federal govern ment has paid close attention to the National Guard. Within the past two or three years there has been won- derful improvement in our volunteer soldiers. The total number of na- tional guardsmen is now about no, 1000 distributed through the various states. Fully 100000 guardsmen would be available for war duty on instant call.
 In these days of peace talk but of real fighting, all the greater encour- agement should be given to young men who are willing to enlist in our National Guard. Every right-minded American should do lis utmost to promote a general peace movement. All God-fearing people are now pray ing for peace among nations and they will continue so to pray. Nevertheless this country, as all others, must have military organization. Our regular army is comparatively small and our National Guard, having been weeded out of deadwood, is likewise small. It IS all the more important, then, that the men who are doing military serv- ice for the love of their country should be applauded.
 Birmingham's two companies which competed for prize would do credit to any regular army. In this connec- tion, employers of young men who show willingness to become national guardsmen should interpose no objec- tion. In times past one of the great. est difficulties in keeping up the or ganized militia in the Birmingham dis. trict was the opposition which many large concerns here manifested. Such opposition was unreasonable, and it is hoped that it exists no longer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
Roastx the Railroads

From the Tuscaloosa News.
 The decision of the Mobile and Ohio railroad to discontinue trains Nos. Ill and 112 Is a move decidedly unjust to Tuscaloosa. These trains were put OH only a relatively short time ago in or der to enable the people of Tusca- loosa and Pickens counties living along the Mobile and Ohio to come into this city to shop and return home on the same day. To have them discontinued now at the very height of the shop ping season when people are doing their buying for the winter is not only unfair to Tuscaloosa but also to the people of west Alabama. It forces the people of west Alabama to go away from their natural trading center and outside of the state for their shop ping.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
UNPATRIoTIc.

Henry writes that he's joined the AL pha Beta Etas," said MT. Dawkins. a self-made man. Whats that?"
 Its Greek letter fraternity" an- swered Mrs. Dawlxins.
 'Umph!' snorted MT. Dawkins. "Pd like to know why he couldn't join some- thing American, instead of taking up with lot of foreigners
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
EASY.

Take back yo,lr gold.' the maiden said The millionaire she spurned;
 To face the world I'm not afraid,
 Though my living must be earned' Forthwith she went upon the stage And made big hit there, Because of yarns on the printed page About her and the millionaire
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
IN ALABAMA SANCTUMS
The ubIauitour .proht,,

From the Selma Times
 It is reported that the prohibition members of the next legislature have been called to attend a caucus whereat a selection for speaker will be agreed upon great many good citizens who have grown weary of prohibition fights are wondering where they can find the most convenient batch of tall timber to which to betake themselves in search of surcease and solitude.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
THE NEWS OF THE WAR
m tho New York Herald.

From tho New 1ork Herald.
 No country in the world has had such accurate and comprehensive reports of the war in Europe as have been pulp Eshed in America. That the accounts presented by the press of the United States have been amazingly exact is shown by the confirmation which time
 brings regarding the tremendous opers tions on tho other sids of the ocean.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

A purse of sl75 was made up by Sing Sing convicts to aid in the capture of an escaped comra de-. which seems to be a
 unique illustration of the old saying that misery loves company.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
A SLOW PUPIL.

There's many slip betwixt the cup and the lip. you know.
 les. I've heard that quotation before. put lately I've been impressed by the iac. mat there is many slip between the initial tango lesson and the attain ment of certain degree of proficiency as a tango dancer
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
Schools and Judges

From the Montgomery Times.
 One member of the legislature says he is going to see that there are as many schoolhouses as there are cir, cult judges in the state. Of course that is intended as ridicule and to be smart, but it is a fact that there are entirely too many judges, and one-half the number could do the work better If they were made to work one-half of their time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
A MAGNATE. PERHAPS.

He keeps open house, you say?" "Yes. but it's almost impossible to get into his office"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

The former Sultan of Turkey advises sia, but the chances are that Abduls ad- vice is received in Turkey with loud boot
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
THEIR OPPORTUNITY.

When prohibition wins the day
 The victors shout, and while Bootleggcrs haven't much to say They wear a knowing smilea
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

The Christmas shoppers will soon begin to mobilize. We suggest that Santa Claus dispense with toy cannon, military suits and other paraphernalia of war.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

Robert Lorraine, the actor, is winning
 new fame as an aviator in the English aviation corps. His press agent should
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
A STUMBLING BLOCK.

Well, did you settle your argument with Colonel whiffersby about the Rue. sian campaign against the Austrians?,.
 No. We decided to suspend our arsu- nent until we learned how to pronounce Przemsyl"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

Villa says he will protect Americans. He ought to do something for Americans, if his mind is made up to knock American diplomacy into & cooked hat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
New Decatur,s Victory

T am glad to say that I am a res ident of New Decatur. and not of Nor gon City"
 This was a remark of A. G. Patter- son of New Decatur yesterday. MT Patterson was attending the meeting of the state campaign committee of the democratic party of which he is a mem ber
 Over the dispute as to names we had very spirited campaign" said Mir. Patterson. Excitement remaine Tor weeks at a high pitch There was general knowledge that the result to he determined at the polls was doubt ful. When the vote was counted it was found that 27s advocated New Decatur as name for our city and 27a Nor gan City.
 Morgan City is all right, but I pre- ferred New Decatur. I am glad that we won, although the balloting was very close. @ tribute to the ardor of the advocates of Morgan City,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
FARMING FOR CITY CHILDREN from the PittsburF Dispatch.

A From the Pittsburg Dispatch.
 Away in far-off Australia, where their isolation from the rest of the world and their self-dependence has led to many interesting social experiments. they have riven a new angle to the back-to-the- farm movement. For the tendency to concentration in the towns is even more remarkable there than here. Of total population of 4sOO.ooo. nearly 1,'cooeo live in the six metropolitan cities of the states; Sydney, New South Wales, 62s,0oo; Mel bourne, victoria, 5ss.OOO; Brisbane. Queens land. 10000; Adelaide, South Australia, 1c7 .oOo and Hobart, Tasmania, 5s.ooo. The population in the smaller cities, towns and villages must make the urban proportion still moro striking.
 The need for a back-to-t the-farm move ment has therefore impressed itself upon The Antipodeans. The remedy that is be- ing tried is to take thousands of city school children out of the cities each sum- mer and give them, in the country, prac- tfcal instruction in agriculture along with their recreation. Agricultural high schools have followed, and the ideal has been kept steadily in view of giving as many city children as possible a practical train- ing in farming, so that if they are SC inclined they may profit by it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

A big gun that is hopelessly stuck in the mud is about as useless as big gun sew eral thousand miles removed from the scene of war.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

The gist of the English war offices ad- vice to the British fleet seems to be that when a ship is torpedoed by submarine the other vessels in that immediate vi-
 cinity should cut and run.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

After awhile, to stop the argument, we shall be willing to concede that all the belligerents were forced into war and only the international jinx is to blame.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
A DANGEROUS CRAFT.

The submarine Is rather small
 And has a single eye, The periscope. but watches all
 The big ships sailing by. And when the time has come to strike Its aim Is deadly true; single shot may fill, belike,
 A nations hearts with rue.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
Thompson May Answer
Clanton Press.

From the ClantOn Press. We noticed that J. o. Thompson has | purchased a hundred thousand dollar
 cemetery in Birmingham Wonder if he
 bought it to bury the bull moose party in?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

BEGINNING THE DAY-Heip me. Q God, to measure up. When po"rea Into the measure, may l m "' Before the demands and risht pectntions of eacb day, ana III t""a great final accounting that mus. pe somewhere and some time' "o"' grnnt that l may measure "p.
 Christ's name. Amen.-H' m' H'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
THE FOUNDER.

He can Init the grit and travel,''
 He can Ego the gaits," and yet, There are schemes he can't unravel There are gifts he'll never get.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
The Madison Courthouse

From the Huntsville Times.
 Judge Lawler has saved the taxpay- CTS of Madison county between s3o,0o0 and s4o;o00 in fact in the building of our beautiful new courthouse, which has every appearance of a s125.ooo to $15O,000 building and appears to better advantage than many of the $200,000 and $250,000 buildings of like charac- ter which we have seen in other state.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
VERY SAD,

Each time I've eaten oysters
 My heart for them has bled: I think how rudely they were torn From out the oyster bed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

If Mexico had only one real patriot might be possible to accomplish some thing down there.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
A PATRIOTIC FRENcHMAN

Say, what's the matter with my br fast?'' asked the restaurant patron, g a long wait. "rm very sorry. sir.' answered waiter, "but the chefs reading the news"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

It is true that President Wilson stayed lis presidential boom in New Jersey, but that was dictated by policy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

The capture of Paris by the Germans has been postponed flor cause"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
Montwomerx,s Money

From the Montgomery Journal
 Money in Montgomery is as plentiful as it was before the European war was declared, but much of it has been taken out of circulation and hoarded by those who either expect to make a profit out of the war or are need iessly timid and alarmed over the efs fects of the war.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

Dr. Anna Shaw is campaigning for cheaper divorce, but more pressing problem just now is cheaper eats
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

What does it profit man to be born food for powder?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
TOO AssERTIvE.

Do his attainments speak for them- selves?"
 "They might, if he would permit them to, but he insists on being their spolses- man.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
The Hungry officeseeker

w. D. Nesbitt tells the following story:
 At moving picture show recently there was in the audience a mother with little girl. The story as told by the moving picture was of the mar tyrdom of the Christians in Nero's time, and was a very lifelike repre- sentation of the den of lions and the Christian martyrs being thrown in and torn and devoured by the hungry ani- mals In the den there was one lion apparently not so active as the hal ance and which had taken no part in
 rending the victims. The little girl
 suddenly began crying very violently. and her mother, in an attempt to re- assure and comfort her, said: Why.
 Mamie, don't cry. This is only a pic-
 ture. The lions are really not killing
 the people. To which Mamie sobbinr- ly replied, I was not crying about that. but about that poor old sick lion over
 there that hasn't eaten any martyr. T think Mamie's attitude aptly rem
 resents the interest of a large part of
 us In governmental matters. Many of
 our office seekers and their friends
 seem to be not especially interested in what policies are adopted affecting the
 masses of the people, but only that the
 lean office seeking lions shall all get a chance for square meal"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

Washington bureau. POT Hibbs build tng.
 European bureau, Henrietta street Covent Garden, London.
 Eastern business office, Rooms 4s to so. inclusive, Tribune building Ne" York city; Western business oliiee' Tribune building. Chicago. The ;. V Beckwith Special Agency agents iof- e;gn advertising.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

The submarine is a popular little boa in Germany just now.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
The old Maid

From the Annistoh Star.
 The Birmingham Age-Herald says 1t cant help admiring the courage of an old maid who makes her suitor propose twice before accepting him. although she knows he's her last chance" Tho Age-Herald probably did not think however, that maybe the dear sister cannot believe her ears the first time the question is popped.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

Come. let us make muster speedily; Doomsday Is near; die all. die mer'"s'
 Henry ".
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
The old Chestnut

From the Decautrs Daily.
 If Birmingham keeps up to her re- cent standard she can easily i'll her skvscraper jail building without em- ploying expensive rental agents.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29
About MT. Lawrence


 T was very much pleased to read the announcement in Sundays Age
 Herald that Robert Lawrence of New Orleans, we'll known baritone, was coming to Birmingham October 1, per- manently to reside" said a member of the Boston colony yesterday. q know MT. Lawrence personally. and have heard him sing quite often, and Bir- mingham is certainly to be congratu- lated upon numbering him among her
 musicians. Not only is Mir Lawrence the possessor of very beautiful voice and a splendid musical education. but he is gentleman of certain mag netism.
 Due to his efforts in New Orleans choral singing and the production of pleasing voices from the ranks of the ambitious became a reality. The first Important step that he took in New Orleans was the organization of tho Lawrence club composed of women, voices Later he organized the South. erp Choral club consisting of 1ot voices. Mir. Lawrence Is second to nons in experience and talent, and his com ling here marks an epoch in the musi
 cal world"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-29

Entered al the DIrinlns nam. Ala. postoffice as second class matter under act of Congress March 3, 1879.
Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1914-01-16
PLAN THREE new BRIDGES
County Surveyor Chaffins Has Drawn
Designs For New Structures

Three new bridges are planned
to be constructed this year by
Bonner county. One of these will
be constructed over Pack river on
the main road to Bonners Ferry
between Colburn and lola. This
is to be of steel with concrete piers
and will cost in the neighborhood
of 81, 500.
The other two bridges are to be
built across the Moyie river near
Passport at points about three
quarters of a mile apart on the
hddie-Eastport road, which is to
be opened this summer. For these
two bridges, Mr.. Chafins will sub
nit three designs to the county
commissioners for them to make
their choice.
The two bridges are exactly
Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1914-01-16
MAY BUILD COUNTY HOSPITAL
Dr.. Page Tells County Board Present
Contract Doesn't Pay Him

DR., o. F. Page waited on the
county board Monday and told the
commissioners he had been figur-
ing out his contract with the coun-
ty whereby he was caring for
county patients at his hospital for
81 a day. He was finding that
it was costing him S1.29 in actual
expense to care for a county
patient and he was anxious to let
go of his contract. He said he
would continue to take the hospital
cases until the expiration of his
contract in April but that he was
not anxious about it at all.
The county commissioners have
been figuring the cost to the county
of keeping patients at the Page
hospital and are figuring on build
ing hospital at the county farm
believing the hospital would be
cheaper in the long run than pay
ing for the care of patients at the
private hospital. There is already
an isolation hospital at the county
farm.
Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1914-01-16
new SCHOOL IMPROVEMENT CLUB
Northside Patrons Starting Commend
able Campaign Twenty Members

Patrons of the Northside School
District No. IA, have organized a
club which is called The North
side School Improvement Club"
and which has for its prime object
the increasing of facilities in all
forms of educational work for the
children of the district.
Plans for the organization were
laid during the month of Deem
Der. Mrs. J. H. Hoagland was
elected president; Mrs. Alva Fry,
vice president; Mrs. Herman Ratz-
laff, treasurer; Miss Marie Wales,
secretary.
AT meeting held yesterday after
noon the club decided to hold a
social meeting once a month and
to hold business meetings at the
call of the president. The organi-.
cation now has 20 active members
and as many more are anxious to
join.
The club will commence its work
by endeavoring TO secure a piano
for the Northside school. A COM
mittee was appointed to secure all
information possible concerning
secondhand pianos in the commu-
nifty which were for sale. Parties
having pianos for sale should COM
municate at once with the officers
of the new club.
Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1914-01-16
PRODUCE co. ELECTS OFFICERS
New Organization Will Soon Erect
Warehouse-Carratt Is President

The stockholders of the Kootenai
Valley Produce company met
Wednesday afternoon and elected
officers TO serve for the ensuing
year. H. B. CARAT was elected
president; Martin Peterson, first
vice president; A. D. WEIGH,
second vice president; 7. J. Jones,
secretary; w. M. Miller, treasurer
The articles of incorporation of
the Kootenai Valley Produce COM
pany were filed with the county
recorder some weeks ago. Suffi-
cient stock has now been sold in
the company to warrant the pro-
moters to go ahead with their
plans of securing a site and erect
ing warehouse where it is planned
to take care of the produce raised
by the members of the Farmer s
Educational and Cooperative
Union of America. Stockholders
and patrons of the Kootenai Valley
Produce company must be mem
bers of the Farmers Union.
Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1914-01-16

alike in every detail. One set OF
plans calls for steel bridge and
concrete piers, another for wood
and steel structure with wooden
piers, and the third set for an
entire wooden bridge. The cost
of the two bridges under the first
plan is estimated at s., 900, under
the second plan at $4,000 and
under the third plan at So, 900.
Engineer Chaffins is setting
new record in county work by
designing his own bridges and by
so doing he has saved at least half
of his yearly salary, taking as a
basis what it would cost to have
sent the work to Spokane News,
Standpoint.
Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1914-01-16
KALISPEL TEAM NEXT FRIDAY
Local High Boys to Lineup Against
Champion Team

The Kalispel, Mont. high school
basketball team will stop of here
for a game with the local high
school team Friday night, January
23rd.
The Kalispel team has for
several seasons held the champion
ship of Flathead county and last
year were contestants for the state
championship being defeated by
only one team in the entire state.
Their record in the past is indi-
cative of hard game so the basket
ball fans of the city should take
advantage of this opportunity and
give loyal support to the home
team. The locals up to date have
won FIVE out of six games and will
battle hard to hold the coming
game to a low score. With the
advantage of a home crowd on
their own floor the high school
should not let their opponents win
by any great margin if at all. The
management is under heavy ex-
pense in bringing Kalispel here
so plan to be there. Remember
the date. Friday January 23rd.