davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22
LUKE MLuKE SAYS

FROM the Cincinnati Enquirer
Ihe reason a woman is glad she hasn't
any chlldren is because she has time to
attend all the mothers meetinsg.
When man gets through sowing his
Wild oats he often reaps a grass widow
A woman can be married 10 years and
not show it. But she has to have re-
markable husband and no children.
why is it that pretty girl inspires
more envy than a clever one?
Opposites always attract That is the
reason why a woman who is a good
talker usually cops out a man who is a
good listener.
A pretty girl is always accepted at
her face value
This is a big world. But somehow the
fool and the slot machine always manage
to meet up together.
once in while a woman thinks twice
before marrying, but d lot of them marry
twice before thinking.
A man who hasn't been ir a church
in 10 years will often tell girl that he
loves her better than his soul.
If often happens that a man who was
has to hustle to find something to eat
with the spoon.
If Ananias had lived nowadays he
he would be elassed as a cheap a1so-ran.
A young mother never handles a baby
to suit an old woman who has raised
seven or eight of them
/ When a man who drinks makes good
and is a success, some people are terribly
disappointed because he doesn't go to the
bad and wind up in Jail
When a woman finally discovers her
ideal man she also discovers that some
other woman has worked a first-past- the
post on her. And it is the same way
with the ideal woman.
When the devil discovers that the world
is growing little better he manufac-
lures a few more reformers and hyp-
ocrites.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22
WAND INDUCEs sLEEp

From the London Chronicle.
The story of the Sleeping Beauty. par
ticularly in its eastern versions. has be. n
traced conjecturally, to hypnotic prac-
tees. A wand or rod often apncars in
the eastern tales; placed under the feet
of the woman or man it kills or sends
to sleep (primitive folk scarcely distin
guish between sleep and DEATH, under
the head it restores to life or waking
Sometimes there are two wands. silver
and gold respectively. In Scandinavian
versions sleep-thorn takes the place Of
the wand. In Iyeland this appears as a
pin.A and very possibly the sleep OF the
heroine of Grimm's 'Briar Rose when
the spindle pricks her is connected with
this In the Albanian story it is ring
placed upon finger that causes slum-
Der
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

|" HE trial of the Regicdes is one of
the most famous trials of that pc
riod in English history, when the
people were beginning to take the law
into their own hands. The name 'Regi-
cides' is given to those persons who were
most active in bringing about the death
of Charles l, leading among which were
those members of the high court of
justice 67 in number, who on January q,
1649, voted for his execution. Fifty-eight
of this number ultimately signed the death
warrant These Regicides were all tried
separately with the exception of 10, who
were kept in prison until their death with
out having received a chance to prove
their innocence.
Ten of the Regicides were executed i'm
mediately, and three others were caught
in Holland, brought to England and ex-
executed Many lived in exile the rest
of their lives, including three in Con-
necticut, Goffe, whalley and Dixwell.
The trial of the Regicides took place
on October 10, 1860, at the Old Bailey
Col. Thomas Harrison was the first to
be brought to trial He pleaded mot
guilty" The kings counsel produced i've
witnesses who deposed that Thomas Har-
rison sat as one of the kings judges, in
the pretended high court of justice, and
particularly on January 81 164S, when the
sentence was read, and that he stood
up with the rest to express his assent to
it. 1t was also proved that Harrison
had commanded the party that mad
brought the King from Hurst castle to
London.
The prisoner said in his defense that the
matter was not done in a corner; that
sound of it had reached most nations;
and he believed the hearts of some had
felt the terrors of the presence of God
that was with His servants in those days.
The second to be brought to the bar was
Adrian Scroop, and his defense was that
the high court of justice was erected
nv the Parliament, which was then the
supreme power of the nation, and gener-
allv submitted to, and what he had done
was in obedience to that authority.
The lord chief baron replied that what
he had offered in his defense tended
rather TO aggravate than extentuate his
crime: that he, as well as others, was
mistaken in the word parliament" and
that there was not one precedent OF any
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

Six hundred cases of eggs from Snane-
hal arrived in San Francisco this week.
coming in free under the tariff. The
old tariff imposed a duty of cents, and
out 1000 eggs were received from China
by this country last year. Merchants
predict shipments reaching 10000 cases
during the current year. The egg OF
the Shanghai, or any other of the
Chinese breed, is not SO good as that OF
out native fowls and some curiosity
is aroused as to what effect upon the
price of the product the newcomer will
exert.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

subject of neurasthenia for two days.
Everyone asked everyone else his views
about it and IS addresses on the topic
were delivered by men who professed to
know much concerning 1t.
1T will hardly do says the writer in
genuously, Ito say that they did not know
what they were talking about, but it is
certain that they were not all describing.
the same thing and their views were dis
cordant" The writer himself confesses
that he 'sidestepped" he does
not use that term-when asked for def
milton by referring his questioner to the
etymology of the word and asking him
If he could justify the combination of it's
components by passages from the classics
in which either was used, When doctors
disagree, then, need the layman hope to-
decide?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22
THE LIVING WORLD

By Richard Realf.
Oh earth! thou hast not any wind that
blows
Which is not music: every weed of thine
Pressed rightly flows in aromatic wine;
And every humble hedgerow flower that
grows,
And every little brown bird that doth
sing,
A living word to every living thing,
Albeit it hold the message unawares
All shapes and sounds have something
which is not
OF them: spirit broods amid the grass
Vague outlines of the Evcrla sting
Thought
Lie in the melting shadows as they pass:
The touch of an Eternal Presence thrills
The fringes of the sunsets and the hiiis
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

Carl Browne, who assisted "Geueraln
CoXey in his march from Massillon, O.,
to Washington in 1894, has just uied in
the latter city These men were tire first
organizing armies and marching to natl
onal or state capitals, The chief episode
of the 1894 invasion was the arrest of
many members of the army for failing
to observe the warnings, keep off the
grass"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

WOMEN In BUSINESS

From the New York Evening Post.
The extent to which women are leaving
the home to enter the business world is
shown by the following figures for the
United States. There are: 2ss,O77 stem
ographers. 327, ,635 teachers and professors.
4S1,159 in various trades, 770055 engaged in
agricultural pursuits. 1900 physicians and
surgeons, 1895 clergy, 2195 journalists, 1887
architects, designers and craftsmen, 1910
lawyers, 1924 women in various profess
sions.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22
TELEPHONE
Bell tprivate exchange connecting q"
aepartments), Main 4eOo.
Starvation Prices Exceedingly Remote

IF Nalthus' theory that the worlds
population will outgrow powers oil
production is correct, the time IS not
sufficiently near to cause US any great
amount of apprehension, for the re-
cent report of the agricultural depart
ment announces that only 27 per cent
of the tillable land in this country is
under cultivation.
The report is based upon the state
ment of $4,000 correspondents as to
the amount of land tillable, that fit
only for grazing or fruits and that
which is absolutely unfit for cultiva-
ton.
This correspondence shows that ex-
elusive of foreign possessions the
United States contains 100000
acres, of which ,140, ,000,0 600 acres, or
60 per cent, will yield to the applica-
zion of the plow. Of grazing lands
there are 361 100000 acres, or 10 per
cent of the whole, and of totally un-
cultivatable lands 399, 100000 acres, or
21 per cent.
1t must be remembered that these
361 900 900 acres of pasture lands ap-
ply to the future as we'll as to the
present, and that they will ever, so
far as known methods Of husbandry
oncerned, remain as the feeding
ids for our cattle and sheep. This
per cent of our entire acreage,
that under cultivation, and
nearly one-fifth of our land de-
to the supplying of beef and
mutton will serve for long time as
the source and means of the people
meat supply. This fact should insure
normal prices for the beef and NUT
ton market for sometime to come.
In 1910 the census showed that but
311 100000 acres of land were devoted
to the raising of crops by the United
States farmer. These figures repre-
sent about 16 per cent of our total
acreage and just 27 per cent of our
potential tillable land, excluding our
insular possessions.
Thus for every 100 acres now re-
spending to the plow there remain
375 acres that are uncultivated, but
which may be brought into cultivation
and made to blossom as garden.
Civilization in it's progress of cul-
tivation followed the predictions of
the human character in pursuing the
lines of least resistance and the g. cat
Mississippi valley was the first to be
brought into tillage and the further
the extension the greater the cost, es-
pecially in acres where clearing, drain
age and irrigation are necessitated.
But improved methods and advanced
mechanical devices will serve to tenn
per the cost and preserve normal mar
ket quotations. We will not starve
through high prices nor scarcity Of
food for many years to come.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22
HISTORIC BUILDING SAVED

From the Boston TRANSCRIPT.
The British are much more sensitive
to the appeal of historic monuments
than ourselves. and they are corre-
spondingly more expert in their preser-
vation. Sir Isaac Newton's house, which
had been condemned to demolition. COM
mended itself to the preservation socie-
ties, and being unable to save the house
on its site, they took it to pieces, brick
by brick, and board by board to rebuild
elsewhere when a suitable place can be
chosen. Every detail of it's construction,
from the tiles to the floor boards, was
marked and numbered, and a plan CT
the structure was recorded by a prom
inent firm of London architects. The
building has thus been packed away, and
it is announced that its more important
| rooms will be set up again at the Manor
house in 1914 for a special Newton Ss
Burney exhibition. Mr.. Huge Phillips.
who has charge of the enterprise, OBJ
serves:
THE house might be erected as a
Newton & Burney museum, where il
would form the home of an interesting g
collection of the portraits, letters, books
and domestic relics of Sir Isaac DR..
Charles Burney Garrick Sir Joshua. Rey-
nolds, Swift, DR.. Johnson. Mrs. Thrale
| and other notable persons who have
lived in Newton house or visited il during
the eighteenth century,
The engulfing of landmarks of more
than a local interest by the encroach-
ments of urban life is of course much
more advanced in the envirous of T,on-
don than any other similar quarter OF
the western world, yet it is noticeable
that nowhere is there such effort to
preserve all that is most characteristic
and best in landscape and architecture.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

the fact that truth is stranger than
fiction. A recent storm in Cracow,
Poland, uprooted an ancient elm and re-
Veaied crown which had been worn
by Polish king in the fourteenth CEN
tury. Some of the jewels had fallen
from the insignia but not one was miss
ing. The crown had not been there all
that time. for it disappeared during tho
middle of the eighteenth century and
must have been hidden under tho elm
by the thief. Cracow was formerly the
capital of Poland
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22
Senator Borah is advocating a featnre

Senator Borah is advocating a feature
of the agricultural department to be
known as the market bureau, its purpose
being to eliminate the middle man. Wncn
the government owns the telegraph lines
it will be an easy matter to wire Wash
ngton for the price of eggs
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

Greece seems itching for another war
1t appears that the Greeks are inspired
by an old prophesy that their country
would be invulnerable when ruled by a
monarch named Constantine, whose wife
was Sophia, and such a condition now
obtains there.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

W Nhile of the four eclipses occurring
during the current year only one each
OF the solar and lunar eclipses Will be
visible here. Much interest attaches to
the transit of Mercury, which viii take
place November Z, the sun rising with
the planet upon its disc. This is rel
atively rare sight and will doubtlessiy
be observed by many who are interested
in such celestial phenomena AS Mercury
ana Venus are the only two planets be-
tween us and the sun they are the only
ones that can effect a transit Either
one may be plainly seen in its passage
by the use of a smoked glass or a transit
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

Often republics are more tyrannical
than monarchies. Mexico is a salient ey-
ample, and President Yuan Shi Kai of
China has abolished the Chinese Parlia-
ment because it dared to take issue with
some of his policies.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

A druggist at Frankfort t-on-main has
been convicted of murder by the v.nploy-
ment of bacilli, which the cabiesrams
designate as weapons There is no doubt
as to their being concealed weapons.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

Secretary Bryan has bagged another
dove in his universal peace net This
time it is Switzerland, which with Ecua-
dor makes a quarry OF two. Tn
a great showing of strength numerically
but the Harvesting of the Alps with the
equator is a performance to be proud of.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

A celebrated case, involving the ,den-
has just been dismissed by the supreme
court. Most men are proud to see their
records in print, but this young lady. if
the incubator to the supreme court" will
prove a rather startling title for career
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

According to his lights Representative
Moon declares that our diplomat. posi-
tions are useless. 1t is to be presumed
that he sees by moonlight.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22
TROUBADOUR AND JESTER
MODERN BEN BOLT.

Oh don't you remember old Sulzer, dear.
Ted
Old Sulzer with manners so slick?
lie gasped with delight when. you gave
him a smile
And trembled with fear at your stick.
In the general assembly of New York,
dear Ted,
In a nice little corner retreat
They've made him a chair and a nice
little desk,
And old sulzer sits on the seat
Oh don't you remember the time. dear
Ted
When impeachment rumors were rife,
And you wrote to old Sulzer to make a
clean breast
OF it all and tell us his life?
His governorship has gone, dear Ted,
And quiet now reigns as of yore;
See Tammany Hall with its broad stripes
outspread
And its pelt now nailed to the door.
All don't you remember the fight, dear
Ted
Progressives in bull mooses' skin:
And the campaign funds the old rascal
As he gathered the donations in?
Over old Bill grows oblivion dear Ted,
And campaign donations are slim,
And of all the friends who were bull
mooses once
There remain, Ted, but you and him.
IN WEST VIRGINIA.
First Lady Traveller: Look at that
poor man sitting in the cabin door, What
poverty, what poverty"
Second Lady Traveller Poor fellow.
How does he manage to subsist?"
Native (overhearing them) "Oh, amt
as poor as you think 1 am. I don't own
bit of this land"
THE WHITE SLAVE.
Tommy: Sister has just received a sem
tence to servitude for life"
Old Lady1ywhy do you say that young
MANI"
Tommy: Because she showed me her
marriage certificate"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22
ALL THE SAME.

wilkins: "A dollar is a good thing to
have around when ones hungry"
Billikiifs:S sTd just as soon have one
oblong"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22
CAUSING NOISE. NEVERTHELESS

From the Tuscaloosa Times-Gazette
No. Flossie, a regional bank is no. the
same thing as a regimental band.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22
ANY OLD STEP.

In the Philippines they're dancing
To the waltz time and the rag
Which makes another platitude-
The tango follows the flag.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

A. J. Eaton. Jr.. and o. L. Young are
the only authorized travelling repre-
sentatives of The Age Herald in Its cir
culation department.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

Will Reward Man Who Docs Duty
"The success of the Wilson admins
tration and the vindication of the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

No comm unication will be published
without its authors name. 2ejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
Remittances can be made at current
rate of exchange. The Age-Herald wiii
not be responsible for money sent
through the mails. Address,
THE AGE-HERALD.
Birmingham, Ala
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22
OUR TRAyHLsCoPE.

!.
Vienna, January 1O.-The people here all
look so crusty. Ma says it is because
most of them are Vienna bred. We just
stopped over here on our return from
Buda-Pesth. L was greatly disappointed
in that place for [ did not see a single
Buddhist. 1 have learned another SEN
tenee in German; it is vie fiel When
we use it in shopping we feel as if we
were Germans. We are going back over
the simpering pass.
JUST AS BAD.
Johnny: Uncle, did you ever have the
smallpox"
Uncle: NO, Johnny. but I've lived in
Arkansas
AS SOLOMON.
A political economist
Makes always tlhs deduction
He cuts the meal expenses down
To save cigar reduction.
ANOTHER VARIETY 55sz
To find a rhyme for tango
Puts me in a pickle. You
Perhaps may name the mango
But that is pickle, too.
BAD AS THE CAT
The news from Abyssina
The world at large surprises.
Menelill's had twenty lives
And just the same demises.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

Daily and Sunday Age-H Herald =. $500
Daily and Sunday per month. ..... 30
Daily and S<aday, three months. 2.o0
Weekly Age Herald. per annum... so
SUNDAY Age-HeraId. 200
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

Entered n ingham. Ala,
postoffice as seco. IS matter under
act of Congress Marcn ., 1879
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

washington bureau, 2o7 Hibbs build
Ing
European bureau, Henrietta street
Covent Garden, London.
Eastern business office. Rooms AZ TO
SO, inclusive. Tribune building, New
York city; Western business oftioe'
Tribune building. Chicago. The .. V
Beckwith Special Agency. agents iof-
Ign advertising.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22
JUST AS BAD.

ANOTHER VARIETY,
To find rhyme for tango
Puts me in a pickle. You
Perhaps may name the mango
But that is a pickle, too.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22
THE WHITE SLAVE.

HE trial of the Regicides is one of
the most famous trials of that pc
J Rod in English history when the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-22

BAD AS THE CAT.
The news from Abyssinia
The world at large surprises.
Menelik's s had twenty lives
And just the same demises.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1914-07-08
70 REMOVE WILDE PORTRAIT
sngllsh Town Councillors Reach Mo-
mentous Decision Because Of
Ethical Reasons.

Chelsea, Eng.-The town councillors
rave resolved to remove the portrait
Of Oscar Wilde from the town hall,
where 1t was placed recently.
Some objected to the retention OF
The picture on artistic grounds, but
he majority were prompted by ethi.
al reasons. The opponents of the
resolution ridiculed the proposed ao-
ion and asked why the portraits OF
George Eliot, Byron, and Shelley
jhould not be renewed also.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1914-07-08
Cypress.

Forest b~otanists recognize only one
cypress in the United States. Its
range extends from Delaware south.
ward around the coast into Texas II
up the Mississippi valley to lllinoi
and Indiana. II is one of the few
~cone-bearing trees which drop their
leaves In winter. I.le heartwood of
cypress is noted for It's decay. resistant
properties.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1914-07-08
CAUSES FOR DEPRESSION

To one of the New York papers
Sir George Paish, editor of The
Statist and an economist Of
European reputation, a few days
ago gave his views of business
conditions and the financial outlook
in the United States.
What is happening" said Sir
George sis not peculiar to the
United States, but it is incidental
to the business situation generally.
We calculated upon this reaction
for 1915, but it has come earlier,
and l believe an improvement is
near. As to the United States the
shortage of the maize (corn) crop
last year is one of the contributing
causes. Such a shortage is newt
ably followed by a shrinksge of
trade.
A more immediate cause is the
delay in the decision OF the Inter-
state Commerce commission. For
that the president cannot be held
responsible. You cannot expect
the railroads to concede such a big
increase of wages in so short a time
without giving them some set-off
against such an addition to their
expenses.
If the Interstate Commerce com.
mission grants the Increased rates,
business will show distinct revival
especially with the prospect of good
crops this year.
There is no Fundamental reason
for depression. The American
people are enjoying a great income
which no one doubts will show enor-
nous expansion as time goes On.
But naturally, jfa great industry
like the railway is uncertain of the
future it will not spend capital al
tn. normal rate and many trades
are effected especially the steel,
equipment and timber trades.
Apart from the situation 10 the
United States there is a universal
disposition to 20 easy until tn
international political situation
particularly in the Balkans, shows
signs of being adjusted.
Of course, business is now on
such a big scale that it demands
free investment of money by in
Vestors everywhere to keep it 60
ing. The main cause of the exist
ing situation is that continental
and American investors have lost
their nerve.
AS to the security markets., the
great accumulation of money in
international money markets fore
shadows extremely low rates of dis
count, which rarely fails to bring
about a substantial rise in the price
of securities, especially high class
ones.
The ms security in the Balkans and
IN Mexico all contribute toward
H.lA.Ha.#Ea.
intensifying the trade reaction,
which after their adjustm mt will
surely be followed by a greater
expansion than YER known before.
These reactions are good things.
They result in the survival of the
fittest and in renewed and enlarg.
ed expansi1n along safe lines"
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1914-07-08
Most HOPEFUL Provcrb,

No matter how blue the Monday, no
matter how dark the day, there is one
old prcverb that will bring comfort to
the deepest despair. So when the
glooms persist in filling up every nook
and corner of your life, repeat this
wise old proverb over TO yourself: It's
always darkest before the dawn"