davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01
A Fish Story.

The inns of dear old England ara
picturesque" said Richard LIE Gal~
lienne, on his return from abroad, bus
the food they serve is something ter$
rible.
After a visit to Blenheim palace
entered an inn in the quaint village Oh
Woodstock. AS I 1unched-or tried to-
lunch-my landlord said to me:
The great dock of Marlborough
once sat in that chair you're settin5
In, SIR i
lis that sol? said I. J
land the dock once drunk is beer
OF. O. that same mug you're a-drinkins
out Of
land bet,' said I. I bet he refused
to eat this fish, too. Well, take it away.
my man. l don't want it, either"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01
Real Tragedy of the Stage.

A beautiful actress, Fraulein Oar
mer, was killed by accident recently,
while playing at the Theater of Va
rieties at Berne, Switzerland. The last
act of the comedy, THE Pride of the
Third Company" was coming to an
end when Fraulein Darmer fell
through a defective stage trap to a
distance of six feet and fractured her
skull The actress was carried uncon-
scious to her room and a doctor was
in prompt attendance, but the case
was beyond his help, and as the cur
tain fell on the comedy on the stage
the girl died. Neither the members of
the company who took the final cali
nor the public, who wondered why the
actress did not appear, had the slight
est idea of the tragedy that had oc-
Cured behind the scenes.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01
Modern Greek.

A stranger came into our Office and
graciously offered us some fruit which
he said he purchased downstairs in
the Greek grocery store. We asked
him what Greek grocery, and he said
the one right under US, in Holpos'
place. We have been here some time
and knew nobody of that name, and
to satisfy our curiosity we went down
stairs to have look
Sure enough, there was what did
look like "HoIpos" on the end Of the
awning, at least there were the let
tiers H @ L P o S" standing out in
bold relief. We have learned since
that it is an abbreviation used by
the store which when translated
means Highest quality, lowest prices.
our standard" To the average read
er it's all Greek and would easily
pass for a Hellenic name.-Quincy
Ledger.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01

Marriage Causes False Fire Alarm.
Seven minutes of blasts from the
whistle of the Passaic Metalware com
pany in honor of the marriage of the
daughter of the superintendent, re-
Gently turned out five volunteer fire
departments. The fog made the whis-
tie audible in Rutherford, Nutley,
Belleville, Garfield and Clifton and the
firemen rushed to headquarters at the
alarm.
1t took half an hour to determine
where the whistling came from. The
wedding which caused the commotion
united Miss Sallie Karp, PIT Brook
avenue, Passaic, to Michael F. Ber-
nan.-New York Mail.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01
white House Rose Garden.

The rose garden that Mrs. Wood
row Wilson had planted at the White
House is said to be quite equal to
others that she planned at Princeton
and other places where she has lived.
She and her daughters have spent
much time, not only in experimenting
the work of the rose garden. but In
actually working in it.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01
Ingenious smuqaIIna Device

A museum of criminology has been
founded in Paris by M. Charles Perch
ard. formerly chief of the police An
archist brigade. Among its curious
contents are hollow wax baby which
was used to smuggle brandy into
Paris. A woman carried baby into
the city every day, but as it never
grew any bigger the authorities ex-
amined it and discovered the fraud.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01
SUSPICIOUS.

TOO bad Jinx and his wife don't
get along well together"
why, 1 always understood that they
were an ideal couple"
so did l, but they must have had
a dreadful scrap before he started for
work this morning"
did he have a black eyer"
mo, but he stopped in when we
were on our way home and bought her
a five-pound box of candy"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01
From Mule.

No Kick Coming From Mule.
as that your mule" asked the man
going fishing.
''Yassir,'' said the colored man, who
was sitting on a log by the road.
Does he kick?'
Deed, mistuh, he amt got no cause
to kick. He's gittin' his own way
right along. I'm de one OATS havin'
de worry an difficulty
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01
Oh. That WaXI

It's such a silly superstition to be
always picking up pins!''
You may call it superstition IL
you wish, but 1 know a chap who
makes about Sc week by doing it.
How can a fellow gather that
many?"
He works in a bowling alley
Judge.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01
Going Him One Bettsr.

An English bishop, offering an or
ange to little child, remarked, sweet
Iy:
Now, my little man, / shall give
you this orange if you tell me where
God is"
my lord" answered the child, som
of a clergyman, 'Pll give you two
oranges if you'll tell me where he
is not
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01

got so weak that i
could hardly do my
work. w b e n I
washed my dishes /
had to sit down and
when / would sweep
the floor I would get
so weak that / would
have to get a drink
every few minutes,
and before 1 did my
busting would have
to lie down. / got
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01
No Relief,

Did you send away that ill-tem-
pered. growing dog to the pound?"
Yes, but it doesn't help things
much I can't send my husband there,
too"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01

The fool man who is always asking
for advice should be advised to keep
his mouth closed
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01
Short Memory.

The honeymoon Is over when the
bride discovers that she might have
done better.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01

The man who thinks he is marrying
an angel in disguise occasionally dis
covers later that the alleged disguise
was permanent
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01

Somehow the man who attends
strictly to, his own business never ac-
quires a reputation as an entertaining
conversationalist.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01
Save the Babies.


of all
a.
hesitate timely Of Castoria would
and
H.
~
and -
or LZ<z<
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01

A street car runs twice as fast when
you are trying to catch it as it does
after you have caught it.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01

YOUR OWN DRUGGIST WILL TELL you
Try Murine Eye Remedy for Red, Weak. MateC
Just Eye Comfort Write for Book of the Eye
by mall Free Murine Rye Remedy Co.. Chicago
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01
Up to Date.

Up to Date.
He-A husband must be obeyed.
She-Oh, cut out your must-y philos-
ophyi
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01
GOULD NOT
STAND ON FEET
Mrs. Baker So Weak-Could
Not Do Her Work-Found
Relief In Novel Way.

Adrian, Mich. 60 suffered terribly
with female weakness and backache and
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01
For Real Enjoyment.

Going to the theater again? Why,
you saw that piece only the other
night
Yes, but not in my new frock-"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01
An Apostle Choice.

Bishop Evans Tyree at a dinner I'M
Nashville was asked If he had any
idea of preaching on the new fashions
the backless evening gown, slashed
skirt and SO forth.
NO." said the bishop; such an idea
has not occurred to me. If, however, D
should preach on the new fashions .
would assuredly choose my text from
Revelation" ,
Short Memory.
Father-Why, son, you've grown an
other foot since you went of to cof-
lege.
Son-No, father, you forget; has
two feet when / left home.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1914-08-01

There are other fiends besides
plumbers.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
TO HELP HE
 DOWN ANl OUT

Pittsburgh, March 1N-Preachers, bankers. educators and socialogists prominent in this city today are backing Q movement to care for the down and out" which will place this city on a par in is facilities to help the-u unfortunate with Chicago, Boston, St. Louis ana other large cities.
 The pIsn as outlined contem- plates an institute at Market Street and Third Avenue with George Trotter, cf Chicago, brother of Mel Trotter, of Grand Rapids, as super intendent. The old Fair Building is now situated on that corner and purchase of the structure is called for by the plan. Either remodelling of that into a modern settlement building or the construction of a new building would follow
 The Union Mission would be aban- doned and merged. with the new mission, which will be controlled by the pittsburgh Prosbytery. Food and lodging will be afforded those who can pay at small cost, while for those completely strapped" comfortable quarters, food and em- ployment in workshops connected with the institution will be given. One large room will be set aside for religious services and a social center. Only the amplification and carrying cut of the plan remains to be worked out.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
PRINCE HENRY
 OFF FORAMERICA

Hamburg, Germany, March 10 Prince Henry of Prussia, and the Princess, today were expected to leave Hamburg for Buenos Ayres, and other South American cities. It is understood that the German gov ernment, apprehensive of the rapid strides the United States has made in strengthening the trade relations with the South American countries, is sending Prince Henry there to offset any effects the visit of Col onel Theodore Roosevelt to South America may have had. Prince Hen ry, 1t is said, will "coYer the Col onels trail"
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
MORE RANQUEFTING
 FOR THE WHITE. SoX

Chicago, March 10.-As far as anyone could find out Charles w.. Murphy, nrivate citizen. erstwhile B. B. magnate, was nowhere about when Windy City fans finished pre- parations to give Old Roman Com isky, president of the White Sox, another straight from the heart, noisy reception here tonight, when at $1O ner platter, the fans will give a banquet in honor of the be- loved Comisky's return with the world trotting White Sox.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
TRIBAL
 CUSTOM BEST

That the trial marriages among the natives of Alaska under the an cieu+ tribal customs works out bet ter than the modern system is the opinion of Commander Ballinger of the revenue cutter Bear, and in his annual report to the department he recommends that either prop CT facilities for obtaining divorces in Alaska should be provided or greater precaution should be taken in marrying the native under the Alaska code.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10

 GOLLABORATE

Urbana, H., Marc!. 10-Leading university historians the states of the upper Mississippi Valley are to collaborate in the publication of the Mississippi Valley Historical Review, according to au announce ment made today todaT at the Uni versity of Illinois here. The Re view, issued quarterly, will carry the information and interesting re- miniscences of life in the earlier days in the valley gathered during the past few years and in the fu- ture by the Mississippi Valley His torical association.
 The beard of editors consists of the following historians:
 Professor c. w. Alvord of the University of Illinois; James A. James of the Northwestern Univer- sity; Claude H. Van Tyne of the University of Michigan; Eugene c. Barker of the University of Texas; Orin G. Libby of the University of North Dakota; Walter L. Fleming, of the University of Louisiana; Ar chic P. Hurlbert of Marietta Col lege; Frederick L. Paxton of the University of Wisconsin and Benja- min F. Shambaugh of the Univer- sity of Iowa. ...
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
MANY FLOWERS
 ARE IN DISPLAY

Danville IL, March 1O-Millions of rare flowers are on display today in he local armory where the three days two state show" of Illinois and Indiana florists is being held. Since tho abandonment of the Cook county floral show in Chicago, the exhibit on today is the largest in the Middle West. The halls were opened to the public today.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
URGE STATE ACTION.

Colorado Sprigns, March 10 Plans to request the government to assist in the preservation of histor- ic spots In Colorado will be discuss ed during the days convention of the Colorado Chapter Of the Daught- CTS of the American Revolution, which began here today. Mrs. Win field Scott Tarbeil, state regent, presided.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
ON SHORT VISIT
 ID THE NORTH

". c. Pedlar, of the general merchandise firm of Taylor, Drury Pedlar E O., at Whitehorse, was an arrival on the Jefferson this morning from his home in Seattle, and left for that place on the train at g o'clock. MT. Pedlar is the purchasing agent of the firm and this is his first visit to the inside since he went out II months ago. He is an old timer ill the north and one of the best known business men in this section of country, hay ing beeu @ member of the firm of Whitney G Pedlar in the town of Dyea in the early days of the Klon- dike rush. Later, the largest gen. eral merchandise store in Bennett, was conducted by the same firm until the summer Of 1900 when the business was removed to White horse.
 The firm of Whitney & Pedlar was prominently identified with the oarly history of Whitehorse and toward the development
 properties in the
 district as well
 all movements
 'vancement of
 usinesS of
 ,orbed by
 ., which
 i've mer-
 ne Yukon
 remain in
 a week, when
 so to the outside.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10

The Skagway brass band had a good attendance of members last night at the weekly practice. The new books, which had been order ed several weks ago had arrived and were in use for the first time.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
ID INTRODUCE
 NEW SERVICE

St. Petersburg, March 10-steps were taken today for the early in- troduction of an aerial postal ser vice between St. Petersburg and six of the leading provincial towns. Be- sides the ordinary postage, all let ters conveyed by this means are to be charged an extra tax, and the proceeds are to go to the fund for national aerial fleet.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
RECORD SPEECH
 IN CONGRESS

Delegate Wickersham of Alaska, made the longest continuous speech on record in congress while speak ing on the Alaska railroad bill. He remained on his feet. for five and three quarter hours, and ably an swered the interruptions of Repre- sentative Davenport, of Oklahoma, one of the leaders. of the opposition to the measure.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10

Daddy Boyce, who lives in cab In on Ninth street and is well known In Skagway, was taken to the White Pass hospital today suf- fering from very serious attack of pneumonia. He has been sick for about a week, but it was not until to-day that his symptoms de- veloped sufficiently to excite alarm.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
OLO LANDMARK IS DOOMED.

Paris, March 10--Workmen began today to tear down the shop occu- pied by Marie Antoinette's jew eller, at the corner of the Guar de Cont and the Rue, de Meyers, but which recently has housed a cabaret.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10

Judge Royal A. Gunnison of Ju- neau arrived in Skagway on the Jefferson this morning. Judge Gun nison is here professionally and We understand will go to Haines on the next trip of the Peterson to look after some legal matters there.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
NORWAY HAD
 \ GOOD YEAR

Christiana, March 10-That the last year was a progressive one for Norway is shown by the official gov ernment report is2ue6 today show ing that the national wealth of the country increased from 2,S4S,479,- 900 crowns in 1912 to 3,SS3,619,OOO in 1913 an increase of approximate ly S25O,OO0,OOO.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
IIASONS LAY CORNERSTONE.

Pittsburgh, March 1O-Masons from all sections -f the state gath cred here today fer the laying of the cornerstone of the new Masonic Temple in Fifth Avenue, Schenley Farms, which will take place this afternoon.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
WANTS SWEDISH
 TEACHERS

Stockholm, a March 1O-The gov ernment of Ecuador today applied to the swedish government for corps of Swedish school teachers to reorganize the school system of Ecuador and teach in the schools for q period of years.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
TW0 MEN KILLED
 BY SN0USLIDE

Dawson, March 1O-Otis Jenkins arrived here this morning and re- ported that Kennedy Whitehorn and Charley Anderson had been kill ed by a snowslide on the mountain side near Chisana city just before he left there.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
REAR ADMIRAL
 VREELAND RETTRES

Washington, March 10-Rear Ad- miral Charles E. Vreeland, ranking member, next to Admiral Dewey, of the General Board of the United States Navy, today was automatic ally retired from the active ser vice list.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
BOTH SEEKING
 REFORMATION

Washington, D. C., March 10-It is given out here today that both the American and Mexican govern ments are seeking information of the parties concerned in the Clemente Fegaras case.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10

 ARE EXHIBITED

Cleveland, March 1O-A novel exhibit opened here today when the public was allowed to witness prac- tically all the newspaper artists of the city papers at work in one room. From rough sketches to the finished product were on exhibition. Many of the eartoonists are famous.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
T IS DIFFICULT
 ID IDENTIFY

st. Louis, March 1O-There is great difficulty here today in iden- tifying the dead in the fire which yesterday morning destroyed the Missouri Athletic club building. It is believed that there were at least thirty five who were burned to death.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
TIE GOAL BILL
 REPORTED TODAY

Washington, D. C., March 10- The Alaska coal lease bill was re- ported to the house today by the public lands committee.
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10

# + # s # # * !. a- # .s % s s # < # 4 4. ]! # + # A Flash S8O D. mThe Senate passed the Alaska railroad bill #
 this afternoon by eighty to forty The + 4 measure now only requires Presidents signature become + 7. effective. "F
The daily Alaskan., 1914-03-10
WRIT
 0F NANDBNUS

Albany. March 1O-5upreme Court Justice Chester today denied Wm. sulzers writ of mandamus for back pay as governor of New York.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1914-12-05
You May Begin
With Us at Once:

Our students are with us from
many different states and they do
not go home for the holidays owing
to the great distance, therefore, we
have no vacation and new students
may enroll any day and do spien-
did work, right through the
holidays. The advantage of en-
rolling now instead of January 1st
is. the sooner you enter. the sooner
you will be thru and holding a
good position. Second, and you
get the advantage of selecting a
better boarding place before the
big January crowd gets in. Our
school is like a big bank or mer-
camille establishment, it runs thru
out the year, we are always well
organized and ready for new
business, rendering the same
service thru out the year. Prac-
tically every student gets individual
instruction; he is not held back by
slow students. or crowded too fast
BY bright ones; he goes just as fast
as his ability will permit. Should
he happen to be slow or backward
in his work. he is not embarrassed
by others knowing how he is get
ting along. for under this individ-
ual method of instructione they
have no way of finding out. With
our methods of individual instruc-
ton. and our own copyrighted
systems, we are demonstrating to
young people that 1t is useless to
attend Z commercial school teach
ing other systems and requiring
from seven to ten months to finish
the course. If they ever finish.
when they CAN finish with us in
half the time at half the cost and
be more efficient, get a better
salaried position and more rapid
promotion because of their
thorough and extensive training.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1914-12-05

1t is our practical methods, our
personal attention and Our modern
systems that enable us TO accom-
plish so muct in so short a time.
In short, we know exactly what
the business office demands, and
we teach that and teach it &C
curately and thoroughly.
Our literary subjects, which are
given free with our courses, are
woven into the main course in
such a practical way that they are
mastered in half the time required
by the old methods, and are
thoroughly understood from prac-
teal application. We guarantee a
better course in less time, at less
expense and better job with a
better salary than any other school
and it is evident that we have been
securing these results or we could
not in the past few years built up
a school with an annual enroll
ment of more than 1000, and have
drawn patronage from 80 states
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1914-12-05
Wanted---To Buy
Second Hand
Furniture
Highest Cash Prices Paid
Abbeville Furniture
Company

and several foreign countries.
Our January enrolment promises
to be the largest III the history of
the school. Over 900 requests for
catalogues were received last
month.
Write for our large illustrated
catalogue; read our cash guarantee
of 500 that every statement made
in our catalogue is true and cor
rect.
Tyler Commercial College,
Tyler, Tex.
NdlllS Observation-Disclosures ..-....-..........
AlNiNil 10
Course Interested in........... .......
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1914-12-05
Stock Owners Warned
Against Imposters

Reports are now beginning to
come in to the department from
several of the States Quarantined
for theafoot-and mouth disease that
persons who have no connection
whatsoever with the department
are attempting to pass themselves
off as Federal inspectors. There
are several possible motives that
might account for the existence of
these imposters. In the outbreak
of 1908 there were instances OF
men who obtained money from
|credulous victims who believed
that in this way they would escape
the inconvenience of quarantine
and disinfection. This is, of course.
very simple form of extortion.
Another motive may be the sale of
some quack remedy for the disease.
Stock owners can protect them
selves very easily against this
fraud. for there is no specific
remedy for the foot-and-mouth
disease. Since the germ has never
been possible as yet to find any
serum that would act either as a
cure or preventive, and the public
may be quite certain that anyone
says that he is an employee of the
Department of Agriculture, and at
the same time attempts to sell or
even recommend anything of the
sort, is simply an imposter. For
this reason stock owners are warn
ed not to allow strangers to visit
their stock or attempt and demon
STATIONS of so-called cures by in
jections or otherwise.
There is. moreover, very great
danger that such people might
disseminate the disease. 1t is q
well-known fact that the germs Can
be carried on clothing. In infected
territory. therefore, it is quite
possible that man who has come
in contact with stricken animals
may bring the disease to a perfectly
healthy herd. This also accounts
for much of the spread of hog
cholera.
The department therefore re-
Ecommends ali farmers to keep their
animals from contact with all save
those who have definite business
with them.
Abbeville progress. (Abbeville, Vermilion Parish, La.) 1913-1944, 1914-12-05
Pay That Poll Tax.

There will be several important
elections in 1915 and 1916 at which
you cannot vote unless you hold a
1914 poll tax receipt. Don't forget
to hand the sheriff dollar and
thus qualify yourself to exercise
the right of suffrage.