davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20
BulIsIn Calf Stories.

Mr. Chancellor Of Hoxton Tor Has
gerston or some other corner of north
east London was dilating before the
committee one day on the horrors Of
incubation and vivisection. writes
member Of parliament in London Opin
ion. and narrowed the feelings Of his
hearers by telling them about some
calves which had been inoculated and
assuring the committee that two years
later the calves were still suffering
from the effects
1t happens that on this committee is
Edward Kelly, a cultured and witty
young Celt kelly, from the isle Of
Erin" at once sprang to his feet and
electrified his fellow members by say
ing. Mr.. Chairman-on a point OF or
der-would the honorable member
kindly explain how the calves could
still be calves two years later"
Mr. Chancellor must, l fear, be first
cousin to the preacher who, discours-
ing on the prodigal son and the fatted
calf. informed his congregation that
the calf had been the cherished pos
session Of the family for years and
years and years"
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

Nowadays no protest is made OF any
action taken against the sleepy man or
woman who falls into d0ze In the
midst OF the minister's sermon. In
England 800 years ago the guilty Of
fender would have been severely
raped over the head by men espe-
cially appointed to the task Of keeping
the congregation awake For instance.
In one parish in Shropshire. % shill-
lngs a year vas regularly paid to a
poor man to 60 about the church dur
ing the sermon and keep the people
awake. He carried a thin. long wand
In bis hand. which be could conye-
nlently stretch out over considerable
space and rap offenders on the head
OF about the shoulders. With women
be was always instructed to be gen
tier, to tap softly. but persistently, I'M
I'll the slumber was broken. For wo-
men, It was learned. were not so
amlable as men on being aroused
from a comfortable nap. and. If gentle
means were not employed. were likely
to get up and leave. causing no little
commotion about them Chicago Trib-
une.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20
W.T. CAN SUPPLY
HAIR PREPARATION

Our big Harmony Laboritles 10
Boston have caught up with their
orders now and 30 We won't have to
dibappolnt any who are using Has-
mony Hair Beautifier and want more
Of il. or any who have been advised
by your friends TO use 1t. We can
now al all demands, even If it be-
comes even more Of rage than II is
now.
Harmony Hair Beautifier ls just
what IL IL named-R hair beautifier
Il IL not a hair dye or hair oll-but
dainty, rose perfume liquid dressing
to give the hair its natural gloss and
brightness wavy softness. rich beauty
Sprinkle a little Harmony Hair
Beautifier on your hair each time be
fore brushing It, Contains no oil (;
will not change color OF hair. MOI
darken gray hair.
To keep hair and scalp dandruff
free and DleRn, use Harmony Sham
poo This pure liquid shampoo
gives an instanteous rich lather that
Immediately penetrates to every
part of hair aud scalp, insuriDg q
quick, thorough cleansing. Washed
off just as quickly, the entire opera
tion takes only a few minutes Con
tains nothing that can harm the hair
leaves no harshness or stiokine7s-
just a sweet cleanliness.
Both preparations come in odd
shaped very ornamental bottles, with
sprinkler tops. Harmony Hair Beau
tifier, Sl.t0. Harmony Shampoo
so cents. Both guaranteed 10 satlfy
yod In very way, or your money back
Sold at the more than 1000 Rexall
Stores, and 10 this town only by ne
Red Gross Drug Co., st Marles,
Idaho-adv.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

True, 1t does sometimes seem as II
the world were going to the bad, II
we Judge from the daily news. But
we must consider the enormous in
crease In population, the fact that
many are running to and fro" that
there Is no corner Of the earth so dark
or distant that the searchlight OF mod
ern enterprise does not find 1t out
and explore Il; that human nature re
mains unchanged amid all these chang
ing conditions, retaining still its weak
nesses and passions as well as its
grand and noble impulses.
To sum Il all up:
This world is not so bad world
AS some would like 10 make Il;
But. whether good or whether bad
Depends on how we take It.
And. taking 1t from the viewpoint Of
one feminine mind, there was never a
generation better worth living In than
the generation OF today.-Alrs. Mary f.
Dustin IN Boston Globe.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

Thomas Hardy showed his keen eye
Tor the characteristic in giving his
heroine the distinguished name OF Dur
berville. corrupted by long rustic wear
to Darbyfeld. But many stately Eng
lish names have gone further down
hill than that. for example the mean
and trivial SHOCKS. which has little to
recall SevenOazs. One would suppose
that an easy prize winner IN a degener-
alton race. yet Professor Weekly, IL
his book on the romance Of English
names. finds some that have descend
ed as far and started higher. There
is nothing very distinguished, for ex-
ample. about Codlin-a novelist would
hardly dare use it save for a comic
figure AS Quodling it is merely queer
As Querding it begins TO seem foreign,
and the etymologist can make a shrewd
guess where he Is coming out; while
Querdeyon is but the thinnest Of
masks for the illustrious Norman or
lginal Occur de Lion In England
the meanest little names may have
the greatest history especially II they
started as French. which fares badly
on English tongues.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

That the rearing Of fancy mice can
be made not merely an interesting
hobby. but also a source Of substantial
profit is illustrated by the experience
Of a Scarborough England man. hun
dreds Of whose tiny pets find their way
annually into the hands Of the British
admiralty. Tame mice are required
principally for use In submarines.
They are exceedingly prone to suffoca-
ton. The Scarborough fancier. Mr.
Beanand. illustrated this by covering
the palm Of his hand With ordinary
liquid paint and placing a taiue mouse
on It. The tiny creature was at once
overcome by the smell of the paint and
suffocated in an Incredibly short time
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20
Chance of Front.

On a murder case in one Of the
southern states an old mountaineer
was called as witness. The defending
lawyer was cross examining him.
You say you saw this murder com
mitted?"
"Yaas."
How far were you from the spot
where il took placer
"'Bout a quarter mile"
"What time was it when this deed
was dOnew
"'Bout half past s."
"On the date this murder was sup
posed to be committed 1t would be
almost totally dark. and you mean to
say you could see distinctly what hap
pened at that time at a quarter Of a
mile distantg"
The old mountaineer shuffied his feet.
changed his Quid and stretched. "Oh,
WE'LL" he said as he started to leave
the witness chair, II don't give a gol-
darn about this trial anyway. Every
bOdys
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

There Is an interesting mystery as
ISOLATED with 80 St Mary's street, once
the home Of Sir Isaac Newton. which
Is now In the property market On
the roof there used to be a curious
structure made almost entirely Of
glass, and for many years this was
confidently believed to have been Sir
Isaac Newton's observatory. Fanny
Burney, whose father. the noted musi'
clan, Or. Charles Burney. was at one
time an occupier Of the house. Occa-
slonally used the erection as a study.
and I'm her memoirs Of her father she
refers TO 1t as Newton's observatory.
In 1855 doubt was cast upon the story
by John limbs In his "Curlosities Of
London" He asserts that the Observ-
atory was built by a subsequent ten.
ant. a Frenchman. 1t has been fur
Their declared that this Frenchman not
only built the room. but also equipped
It with various Instruments and then.
claiming that it was the observatory
of Newton. charged a fee for admis.
sion to vlew.-W estminster Gazette.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

Jack Cox vas In town Wednesday
lie had been at Occur d'Alene look
ing after some business matters and
WAS on his way to his logging camps
at Santa He stated that he was not
doing much logging just now as the
ground was too muddy
The steamer Georgia Cakes which
has been tied up all winter was put
back upon her run between this city
and Occur d'Alece yesterday
Fred Boutwell, was business visit
or at Occur d'Alene Wednesday
am now ready to do dress making
at my home, one block south OF the
kooteuai Bank Pone 1892 VIVA N
Ollnt-adv
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20
THIS REMEDY
HELPS YOUR FRIENDS

Almost every day some grateful
person comes into our store aud tells
Us Of benefits received from the use
of Rexall Dyspepsia Tablets. Know
ing how much good they have done
others and knowing how much good
what they are made OF, we feel sure
they will helr you. So great 10 our
faith 10 them that we urge y.u to try
them entirely at our risk. with our
personal promise that II they don't
do all you expect them TO do and
make your stomach comfortable.
aud healthy and your digestion easy,
we'll hand back your money.
We couldn't endorse anything any
more strongly than we do Rexall
Dyspepsia Tablets. Containing Pep
Gin and Blsmutb two Of the graetest
digestive aids known to medical
science, they soothe the stomach,
check heartburn and disress, promote
a natural dow of the gastric juice,
aud help regulate the bowels Rem
emhsr, IL they don't make your diges
tion so easy aud comfortable that you
can eat whatever you like whenever
you like, we want you to come back
aud tell us and get your money.
Sold only at the more than 7,OOU
Rexall Stores, aid In this town only
at our store. Three sizes. 400 500
aud s1.0O-Red Gross Drug % st.
Maries Idaho adv
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

Everything that goes wrong is at
tributed by the Berberines. a tribe OF
the Sudan. to the devil Ethel 5. Ste
vens, in My Sudan Year." quotes
story told her by Bishop Gwynne OF
his boys" coming to him one day and
announcing. "The devil is in the
house"
"Oh." said the bishop. that is very
interesting. When did he arriveT
Gle came in with the cook from the
SIOUX market yesterday evening"
"Really?' commented the bishop.
puzzled
ayes. and I'm the night he came out
Of the cook and passed into me-"
ooh. ana what did he dor
HE went to the cupboard and broke
plate and the top Of the jam jar"
A light broke in on the bishop.
"Oh. he was after the jaml / sup
pose he ate someT
Eyes" said the boy. "he did,!
The idea of devil possession is not
merely an elaborate form Of excuse
the native servant really believes In 1t
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

Lewis Cass Ledyard said at the
Knickerbocker club in New York;
"The old idea about the crookedness
OF lawyers is dying out"
"True, true" group Of lawyers
chorused heartily.
Eyes, the old idea about lawyers
crookedness, as illustrated in the Win
terson anecdote. is thing Of the
past" resumed Mr., Ledyard.
"A book agent. you know, sought out
Winterson in his Office and said:
81 have here. sir. a book that will
show you how TO be your own lawyer.
Triumph sneered Wlnterson, II the
book showed me how to be somebody
else's lawyer might take IT, But
what's the good OF teaching me how
to bleed MYSELF Detroit Free Press
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

While Byron was in Ravenna, Italy.
he adopted strange habits. 1t was his
custom to rise at In the afternoon,
breakfast and ride and dine at g.
Then he would sit and talk until 8 or
8 I'm the morning or, II no company
were there. he would write a bit of
Don Juan" But his life was like
that Of Aubrey Beardsley-upside down
the day was the night.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

A party Of women were being escort
ed through the state house the other
day by a bowling and scraping guide.
The women were Of the enthusiastic
type and raved over this and that and
said. "Oh. simply too gorgeous" FL
nally they we're shown the portrait OF
a former governor.
ooh. superb, isn't it?" said one Of
them. land an excellent likeness too.
A portrait Of whom did you say 1t
wasT'-BOston Traveller.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20
New Use For Salt.

Il have seen salt put to many
usages." says a local writer, 'but the
other day 70 an entirely novel one. A
man. obviously under the weather,
entered a shop and called for a packet
uf table salt On being supplied, he
swallowed a couple Of mouthfuls and
then took a quantity after the fashion
of snuff Then be departed. he often
does that, said the shopkeeper; It Is
grand thing to sober himr "-Cardin
Western Mail
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

The ladies aid society of the Metho
dist ohruch will hold an Easter sup
per at the church parlors Wednesday
evening April Everyone Is cor
daily invited-Rdv az
FOR SALE-One mare. one two
year old horse, 40, 600 feet of rough
lumber Address Mrs Laura Van
Orsdale. Tyson. Idaho-adv 20
You can save from twenty 10 ffty
per cent on seasonable white goods
at Shaw's Corner adv
RIM Hart Of the Blackwell Lum
Der Company Was In this city We'd
nesday He war on his way home
from Fernwod where be had been
spending q few days looking after
the business of the company there
Home made candles BallinRer Il
Bowen. adv II
j. K Booth left Wednesday on
business trip to Wallace
For popular priced millinery visit
the Style Shop -adv2 {
Buttrick Patterns. the patterns Of
accuracy, simplicity aud style April
styles can now be had at Shaw's
Corner. adv so=
DO not fail TO take advantage Of
the money saving specials at the
White Goods Sale. Shaw's Corner.
Neil Burrell OF the TriState Cedar
Company OF Occur d'Alene WAS q
business visitor 10 this city Tuesday
and Wednesday.
The public library board have the
new library building tixedup 10 good
shape and moved tha library into It
Tuesday. II ls handily arranged and
makes very neat aud comfortable
place aud being on the around floor
much more CONVENIENT for the pat
rons Mrs Lyons ls q very competent
librarian courteous and amisble TO
the patrons and takes excellent care
Of the books
LOST;-A double set diamond
ring. Finder leave same 10 Spells
man and Kringle's Cigar store aud
receive reward. -advM 81
Walter Hess has sold his farm at
Cosmos Landing. r. g. Dudley If
Kendric lie the purchaser aud expects
to move on II 10 3 short time.
Miss Ellen Wells a nurse from the
Occur d'Alene Hospital arrived IN
this city TO take care OF Mrp. A. L.
Morgan Tuesday.
Mrs l. F Williams of Lewiston
Idaho arrived In this city Tuesday
evening called TO the bedside of.Eher
daughter Mrs A L. Morgan. Mrs
Morgan Is very low with tuberculosi
and her recovery ls despaired Of.
"A vickers lumber cruiser from
Occur 'dAiene was IN this city Wed
uesday
The Interstate Telephone company
has put 10 a toll station at Ramsey
which will be a convleuoe to the
rannhers In that vicinity as we'll as e
Blackwell's unloading docks
Mrs Francis White Of Occur d.
Alene came up Tuesday aud went e
her ranch near FernSOod Wednesday
6 o Dart of the Occur d'Alen'
Milling Company of Occur d'Alens
spent Wednesday In this city inter
viewing the trade
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20
Oitym Brief

Meet me at the Hotel Normoyle.
Occur d'Alene. ADV If,
b Sargent. Sr. returned Thurs
day from a business trip to OCCUR
d'Alene ans Spokane
Remember those mirth prOvOk-
ing joker comedys. You will find
laughs galore at the Grand, Sat
urday and Sunday.
Fresh chill at all times BallinRer
q Bowen--Rdv q
The Washington Furniture %.
will pay the highest possible price
for all second hand furniture and
stoves Phone l94-adv Il
WB Wiley has commenced the
erection OF ak room bungalow on
Twelfth street north of Sargent
o Sythoff has the contract for doing
the work ~
Have you had a good laugh
lately? You will find 1t at the
Grand, Saturday and Sunday.
Stylish Soring Millinery now on
display at the Style Shop-adv2t
FOR RENT-A six room house.
centrally located. Apply TO Robin
son. look Box ia. st Maries-adv II
h Jones, the home furnisher has
just completed an addition on TO his
store building made necessary by mis-
constantly increasing business lie
has also installed new cash register
Ladles-See o0r new line Of Eskay
Kid gloves. They are standard Ia
every way, In at. fashion, finish aud
quality. Shaw's Corner. adv
Violets and OhaHtss dsisy plants
and Mastodon pansy plants at the ST..
Maries Greenhouse. adv
Margaret Trueman, daughter OF
Mr and Mrs William rrueman had al
operation Thursday to remove a
gathering 10 the glands OF the throat
She Is getting along nicely
Saturday and Sunday will be
chOck full of comedy at the
Grand.
Hot tamales Bsllinger & Bowen ad
Stylish Spring Millinery now no
display at the Style Shop-adv 2t
MrsL @ Van Orsdale of Santa was
10 this city Thursday
Kelster and Henderson are doing
the painting on the new creamery
building
Your thoughts must be running "a
Millinery Remember Davis and
Sons Millinery Department always
leads-sdv
When 10 st. Joe stop at the Com
msroial Hotel Hot and cold water,
bath. NJ. d. Harris. proprietor-Ad.
GRAND, Saturday and Sunday
Four reels Of the best photOpIays
FOR RENT-Llgb. Housekeepiu,
rooms. apply at corner Third and
College.
1.-THE FUEDlSTS" two reel Vita
graph comedy Ideal Saturday nigh
Toe cream at the Oozy Corner Sod
fountain now running adv
Screen doors. sI.0o See Jones, th
house furnisher -advtf
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20
When Pope Was Broad.

Alexander Pope. the deathless poet
OF England. had a large and intimate
experience Of the theater. In his time
he was a welcome visitor behind the
scenes. and most Of the contemporaries
GUS dramatic authors and actors were
proud to be on friendly terms with
him. Mean and little and contemplate
as he was r1en~ Of his personal relu-
lions GecaA L.dy Nary Wortley Mon
tagus estimate Of his infinite little
ness. lie nevertheless had a broad
streak, this. Of course. from the view
point Of the intellectual He was in
ready sympathy with the strugglers
on the stage. and he wrote this apol-
ogy for imperfectons that are insepa-
rable from plays no less than from
other works Of finite, therefore imper-
feet beings
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

$50 you took a day or from your
work and went fishlngr'
Yes" replied the man who insists
on being cheerful.
Have any luck"
Certainly. A day or is luck
enough. Washington Star.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20
wrappIna. Of the MummI...

The cloth woven by the ancient
Egyptians was so durable that though
Il has been used for thousands Of
years as wrappings Of the mummles
the Arabs Of today can wear It. Il is
all OF linen. the ancient Egyptians esa-
sidering wool unclean.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

"Have you been to sea in the last six
or eight years."
mot exactly" replied the mariner
but I'm not out Of practice. Every
evening I 20 to the club and spend
hours IN rocking chair whose motion
has given many men seasickness. -
Washington Star.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

-Sore throat. ehf Get your wfls -
give you one Of her old stockings 70
wrap around your neck"
Tried that. and II did me no good
She had nothing but these new fan
gled openworks. w Washington Herald
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

Gibbs-It is very evident that youi
wife has a mind Of her own.
Dibbs-You think sol Well, 30 do l,
but she keeps telling me that her mind
Is made up.-Baltimore Sun.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

The slit skirt IL a wondrous tuhe.
When first ! gazed upon Il.
Said /. I'm bet some careless boob
Has ripped II. stepping on Il"
Detroit Free Press.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

did whisky lead that man astrayf'
The Joker made reply
''Id put Il In another way
It Just sent him a-ryel"
-Lippincott'a
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

He What Another new dress.
That's enough TO make me jump out
Of my skin. She-Why don't you to IT.
Then / can have a belt and hand bag
made Of it-Ulk
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

Laughing is a series Of short expira.
tory blasts which, acting upon the vocal
chords. held tense for the purpose.
cause certain sounds OF various pitch.
The differences I'm the sound OF the
laughter OF different individuals Is
largely due to the varying vibrations OF
the larynx and pharynx II has been
noted that many in a famlH nave the
same laugh" possibly becadS OF SINH
lar throat formations. 1t also is an imi-
'ative prOcess.-New York World
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

The self made man was speaking. II
said: My father was a raiser Of hogs
There was large family Of us" And
then his voice was drowned by TIN
applause. Life.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

Stone beans do not an infield make
Nor iron domes a team.
Some changes / shall have TO make.
And that's no pitchers dream.
New York Evening Mail
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

Benign Old Gentleman Poor little
chap Where did that cruel boy hit
you?
Tommy-BoO-oO-Oo We were avine
a naval battle, and e torpedoed me In
the engine rOomT-New York Journal.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

To him II never has occurred
That credits what you make n.
And 30 he always keeps his word
Because no man will take II.
Cincinnati Enquiries
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

That beauty Of beauties" Nine
Recamier. would sometimes become
beggar for the poor, and it was good
for the poor At the Easter fetes Of
1901, celebrated in the Church OF St
Roch, the priest asked Nine. Recamier
to act as collector She accepted
A returned emigrant, NJ. de Thiard.
was her cavalier The task was no
sinecure. To walk around the church
through the enormous crowd occupied
more than an hour Another hour was
occupied in counting the receipts, which
amounted to 10000 francs. From each
ZIP came a cry Of admiration at the
marvellous beauty Of the young collec-
tor AS she advanced step by step
through the church these cries were
translated into pieces Of gold for the
pooT and many pieces Of verse to Offer
to the fair collector-"A Great Co
quette."
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

and when we say we cannot. why W
simply will not.
The Pillars Of Success.
See the eminent author.
To what does he attribute his sue
cessf-
To the fact that he wrote a dozen
unsuccessful books and wasn't discour-
aged
And teeQg the multimillionaire-
How didk,e lay the foundation Of his
great wealth.
On twenty failures. cleveland Plain
Careless.
'Have you made a special study OF
the subject on which you are going to
lecturer
mo" replied the gifted speaker. 81
tried that once. and got so interested
In the subject that I didn't have time
to write the lecture" - Washington
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

AS autumn is upon us the people
who cannot tell a mushroom from
toadstool should be restrained by their
friends
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

When nations have a falling out
And threats Of war begin.
It's then the soldiers. past all doubt.
Must start to falling In.
Denver Republican.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

He-They say kissing brings on dis
eases
She-Well, a little illness must come
into every life.-Boston Transcript.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

He shakes as he waits by the altar
AS the bride floats down for her maj
rlage.
But he hasn't half the dignity
OF the groom she left on her carriage.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

"Did you see the lovelight in hei
eyesT
mo. The gaslight was in her eyes
and she squinted. Picked Up.
The record. [volume] (St. Maries, Idaho) 1913-1918, 1914-03-20

Now that SO many women make their
own living instead OF Just asking for
money whenever rhcy want Il Il Is no
more than natural that the seasons
designs for women's dress should IN
clude pockets