South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-12-24
Statesmen Real
and Near.
BY Fred c. Kelly

WASHINGTON, Dec. "a. - Uncle
Joe Cannon is a poor poker player.
He nearly always loses
This is contrary TO the popular inn
preston.
Being pictured with a cigar at a
rakish angle and a face as inscrut-
able as a hounds does not necessarily
make a man invincible at poker
table. And the fact is that Joe Can
non is no better poker player than II
his face registered every thought and
emotion like that CT a movie actor.
1t is an exceptional game when he
doesn't lose.
A few days ago, Uncle Joe returned
to Washington for the first time since
his reelection, and that night he
won SO or Sc while engaged in his
favorite recreation. He started to his
hotel, juggling the coins in his pocket,
and as full of glee as yOungster over
his first fish.
On the other hand, Uncle Joe's
losses are, as a rule, not large. He is
not reckless, but simply a victim of
over-optimism. One lone pair always
looks To Uncle Joe like q winner. And
if he has two pair he takes it for
granted that the pot is his
Some years ago, so the story is,
ex-Sen. Jonathan Bourne of oregon
resolved himself into an insurance
company and offered to underWrlte
Uncle Joe against losses at poker. He
noted that while Uncle Joe lost 19
times out of 20, yet he rarely lost
much, and after much figuring ana
careful framing up of a risk table,
Bourne agreed to go ahead on this
basis: He would pay all Uncle Joe ;
losses If Uncle Joe would pay him al
insurance premium OF So each time
he sat down to play. Uncle Joe was
permitted, you understand, TO keep
all he won, but it cost him SIS per
game to be insured against loss. lie
had to win $15 TO come out even.
Now, Bourne might have found the
insurance scheme fairly profitable,
except for one thing. The moment
Uncle Joe realized that he was amply
protected against loss he grew more
reckless than usual and would try
to bluff everybody away from the
table with nothing but pair of
openers.
At the end of the year, when the
policy expired, the enterprise had cost
Bourne a net loss, SO the general I'M
Outstanding is, of more tnan $1,000.
But Uncle Joe had the most de-
lightful year OF his life.
Uncle Joe, by the way, makes no
effort to conceal his pleasure over the
prospect of returning TO Washington.
After 40 years in congress- he
saws ''and the associations that so
WIN that, l would rather be in WASH
ington than anywhere in the world"
Big genial Bill ROdenberg of llli-
nOis, one of the republican stand
pat Comebacks who will be with us
again in the next congress, made his
campaign for reelection largely on
a basis Of the great number of un-
employed in his district. His OppO-
nent was a quaint ola chap named
Baltz, who defeated him two years
ago.
The reason Mr. Rodenberg is so
worked up over the unemployed"
declared Baltz in a speech, lis be-
( cause he is one of the unemployed
himself. I've go his job"
Sen. Page of Vermont aims to carry
only two kinds of money-$2.50 gold
pieces and pennies. The gold pieces
are TO spend and the pennies are "a
hand TO little boys ne passes on the
street. He never carries any paper
money, because he says it is insan-
itary, and the only silver ne ever mas is
when he gets change from one OF his
neat little $3.50 gold pieces.
I Copyright 1914, by Fred G. kelly.)