The broad ax., 1914-11-28

uEluo WAb no DcauIy.
"But I'm sure be behaved handsome.
b about it"-Baltimore American.
That Puf8sr n q tirssome chap
There's not the slightest doubt
Hes blowing now % how much hs
Blew IN at his blowout
-LApDsncOtt'G
do you believe he's sincereT
Il do. He says such q lot Of dis
agreeable but truthful thinp."-DS-
trott Free PresA'
We seldom mean our boosts these dayA.
When We applaud We neer.
But when II gets down 70 Sslf praise
WSrs always quite sincere
Cincinnati Enquiror.
Footelighte - You say the leading
man was all broken up1
Miss Sue Brette-Yes; he appeared
last night In three pieces. - Yonkers
Statesman.
To rail at snow or slest
He needn't clean the street, because
There isn't any street
washington Star.
why does Maud always prefer Chol-
b to all the boys to take her into the
surfT
'She says she feels safer with him.
his head floats 30 Observation-Disclosures
American.
Walter-what shall It be, sir, table
d'hote or a Ia carter
Diner-I'n have EN- both, and put
plenty Of gravy on 'em-Philadelphia
Ledger.
nrd enlist I'd choose q place
In squadrons OF the sky,
For In the fray tbs no disgrace
For aeroplanes to ny.
Portland OregoniRn.
Mrs. Hiram Onen-Your recommen-
dations are rather poor, must say.
Maid-Well, mum, yen weren't rec
commended very highly to me, ayther.
Boston Transcript.
Maud Muller on q summers day
Made up q batch OF fudge
She fed Il TO her guests, they say,
And nearly killed q Judge
Kansas City Journal
Distance lends enchantment to the
view," quoted the sage
mot II you miss the last car and
have to walk" added the fool.-Cincin-
nati Enquirer.
That barn doors nearly on its hinge"
Yawned lazy Tommy Young.
Wen let II fall and kill some one
And then Il VIII be hung"
Judge.
Patience-when George threatened
10 kiss her, did she holler for help?
Patrice-Certainly not; she was able
10 help herself-Yonkers Statesman.
She's not q good cook;
But. what Is more proper,
She sure Is q swell
Dellcatessen shopperi
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The young wife Of that artist is
simply perfect"
sWell, an artist ought to have q
model wife."-Baltimore American
The poor girl wrings her hands. An, me
watch her wiring and wiring theml
She has to wiring her hands, for she
Can't get q man to ring them
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Have they much moneyP
'No; I'm sure they haven't over
heard her telling a friend that they
didn't care a bit for socIety."-Detroit
Free Press.
The worlds q stage
Yet even 20
Don't try to be
The entire show.
San Francisco Chronicle
Gabe-Mrs- Giddy Il q wen groomed
woman. isn't shel -
steve-She ought to be. Mr.. Giddy
Is her fourth husband-Cincinnad En-
Qutrer.
HI Tghtwad a % funny,
And purse pride Il his sin
he blows about his money,
But never blows Il In
New York Mail
BILL see a college professor has
fitted a pOetess and married an &C
tress. -socz
JTl-Perhaps be thought the latters
lines were better.-Yonkers Statesman
No more We hear Of Peeping Toms
That spy around at night.
Tor they can see an they desire
RiRht tn the broad daylight
New York Mah
He-Lets put a knOcker on the door.
She-That's supernuOus with one Ike
vou IN the housa-Baltimore American
For vears ahs raved of LAuncel0t,
Tluf Ra<inald her brain would an
: -. - 49, 1of