davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The citizen., 1914-12-18
HISTORY OF HIS LIFE
aARRULous OLD FARMER Ll5ER.
Al WITH INFORMATION.
Comes Pretty Near Holding the Rec
ord as an Artist In Unsustained
misunderstanding Of
Vocabulary Wonder.


"The backwoods class Of natives OF
the northern New England states
which lie along the Canadian border
are often depicted In stories as being
Of the silent type" said Washing
:on man who is recently back from a
motor tour In the sparsely settled dis
tricts Of New Hampshire, according
to the Washington Star.
well, lots of them are, but when
they are the opposite class they come
pretty near holding the palm for pure,
unadulterated garrulity. One exam
pie of what might be called sustained
conversation was, to US. such gem
Of its kind that I can remember a
good part of 1t. We had just had a
blowout on a roadside and in few
minutes an old farmer approached us
from his dooryard. Shifting his pipe
to the side of his mouth he addressed
US thus, while we listened spellbound:
"'Was that your tiah jest blowed
out? Sounded jest like a pistil!' Then,
scrutinizing our D. C. license:
"'Be you from the city?'
"'Yes,' we answered, from Wash
ington. Ever been there?'
"'Wal. was in Washington once.
SO years ago, during the war;
"'Oh, and were you at the big re-
union at Gettysburg last years.?
"'No, didn't go daown. II I'd ben
in the battil I'd hui gone. Two or
three fellers from Groveton went, and
some from Milan and some from other
taowns- had the fortune to serve
under Gineral Banks in the Mississip-
pi valley. Then we come up the Shen-
andoah and whipped up the hull val
ley .araound Ha'pers Ferry. Say, that's
funny taown, hain't it? Haouses all
runnin' up the side of the hill and
graveyard on the top. We camped all
winter the other side the river at
Poolesville. 1t was cold as the dev-vil
that winter. We took the gravestuns
and made chimneys aouten 'em. The
officers were mad as the DEVIL and
made us put 'em back at the end Of
the winter.
Gentlemen and ladies', speakin' Of
taowns, when come over here from
Bethel, Maine, they want but ten
haouses in the hull taownship, and
naow they's 10000. We used to live
to Milan Corners, ten miles away, but
our haouse burnt up. It so happened
that my wife and son had jest come
from visit to Bethel, Maine. We
was all to meetin', it bein' Sunday
evening, and meetin' want over till
nine. We see a blaze up aour way
and the folks all struck up the wrong
side of the river, so only two or three
ever got there. My wife was lame at
the time and my boy was sick, SO they
couldn't do nothin'. We done what
we could. We saved the sewin' ma
chine and the pa1or organ, and some
o. them things the women care for,
but the chamber sets, they cost $25
apiece, and they was all burnt The
good folks o. the taown took up q col
lection and got us 5000. and we sold
the fam for $700 more; that made
5000. Then we come over here and
spent the winter at Center Station,
where my wife's cousin keeps a Jew
elry store. Then it so happened that
the people ownin' this fam died, and
that we wanted to buy. Likeliest spot
in the hull valley, haint it? Great
Godfrey, he's got that tiah done al
ready! That feller suttinly knows his
business!"
The citizen., 1914-12-18
s,4ss BRITISH OFFICERS LOST
253 Names Added To List OF Cas-.
uaIties In a Week.

London.-The official officers cas-
ualty list for the week ended Novem-
Der 80 was made public Monday. 1t
shows that in these seven days the
British forces on the Continent lost
79 officers killed and I41 wounded. and
that 33 were reported missing. This
gives total of 253 for the week.
Added to the previous totals, the
last report shows that since the out
break of hostilities Great Britain suf-
fered a loss of 966 officers killed and
1918 wounded. while $50 have been
reported missing.
The total of casualties of officers
up to date is, therefore, 3.466 men.
The citizen., 1914-12-18
10000 HORSES FOR GERMANY.
Dallas Also Hears $4,000 Mules Are
Negotiated For.

Dallas. Texas.--Negotiations for the
purchase of 10000 horses and $4,000
mules, which It is said are to be sent
to Germany, are under way in Texas.
according to an announcement here.
1t, was stated that the animals are to
be shipped from this State to Genoa.
Italy, but local dealers expressed the
belief that they would be forwarded
from there to Germany. It was said
European agents would spend ss,ooo,-
900 for Texas horses and mules.
The citizen., 1914-12-18
cran'pa's Observation.

Eyer gran'pa sez thet he alluy
thought them fluffy girls didn't hev
much brains an now he knows It Sea
he, look how far they kin stick them
big tango hair pins inter their heads
an 1t don't seem tew hurt them 0
nito'"
The citizen., 1914-12-18
Precoclous Childhood.

Nov. my child" said the kind old
Judge. which parent do you prefer to
60 withf"
"That depends" answered ths fash
ionable child. "Is mother going to get
large alimony7"
"Yes."
Large enough to emharrass rather
dnancially1"
The citizen., 1914-12-18
To reII When Rain VIII Begin to Fall.

To seiI When Kahn VIII Begin to Fall.
First. find the distance of the cloud
by noting how mans seconds elapse
from the fash till the thunder, and
divide the number by s. This will
give the number of miles. Then. after
waiting a number of minutes. do the
same again. This will show how
much nearer the storm is now. or how
fast It has approached In so many
minutes, and knowing how many
miles 1t is distant. It can easily be as.
certained in how many minutes rain
will begin to fall.-Exchange.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
WATERING THE LIVE STOCK
Profits Are Greatly Reduced BY Cling
Ing TO Old Cows and Sheep Long
Past Their Usefulness.

The keeping OF old cows and sheep
long past their usefulness will largely
reduce the profits of the dairyman and
farmer. The better method would be
to have them served, give shelter and
feed and when fresh sell the COW with
the calf. They may be cheaply win
tered on fodder, wheat straw and sec
ond-cr0p clover hay. Old sheep should
have been sold in the early fall for
what they will bring It seldom pays
to winter them. Before the cows come
fresh they should be given little
grain, say four quarts OF wheat bran
and one quart Of faxseed meal weH
mixed together. Divide into two equal
parts: give one part in the morning
and the other half In the evening to
each one. This feed win loosen the
hide and greatly improve the appear
ance OF the stock. Card and brush
them OF every morning. This win re-
move the loose hair. The buying OF
thin cows and milked-out cows from
dairymen who cannot afford to winter
such stock, is found to be profitable
business by farmers having plenty OF
rough fee, such as fodder, straw and
second-crop clover and stable grasses.
! The mild winter has been great ad-
vantage to dairymen and farmers short
Of grain and feed, as much less food
was needed to keep the stock. Econ
omy must be practiced; no grain or
forage should be wasted. Fodder fed
20 cattle under cover, having the sheds
heavily bedded and lined on the north
side to keep out the cold winter winds,
may be wintered in good condition.
The fodder will last longer and feed
more stock where fed in small Quanti-
ties in connection with straw and SEQ
ond-crop hay.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
Cold frame.

tomless box is placed and on top of
this box or frame are placed the sash
and glass. All should be close fitted
to prevent the entrance of cold air and
frost.
The surface of the manure is cover
ed with good rich garden soil to the
depth of four or five inches. The ma
nure will begin to heat within a week
after the bed is completed. The seed
should not be sown for several days
after the bed is finished. If very cold
weather ensues after plants have come
up it may be necessary to cover the
glass on very cold nights with blankets
or mating. 1t may be necessary to
shade the plants on the brightest sun
niest days at midday when the air in
the hotbed may become too hot. DO
not give the bed too much water,
which is worse than too little. Plants
usually started in the farmers hotbed
are lettuce, radish, tomato, cucumber,
melon, eggplant and cabbage.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
FEW CAUSES FOR POOR GRAIN
Fungi and Bacteria in Seed and Soil
lnJure and Destroy Roots of Plant, Z
Says an Expert.

The introduction of harmful fungi
and bacteria into the soil is an i'm.
portant cause Of deterioration Of
grains after continued cropping, de-
clared H. Bolley, professor Of bot
any, North Dakota Agricultural col
lege, in recent address at the Col
lege Of Agriculture of the University
of Wisconsin. Professor Bolley is
one of the most eminent plant path
ologists in the country, his early
studies on the potato scab and fax
wilt, and his later investigations Of
the diseases of cereals having made
him widely known among scientists.
He believes that fungi and bacteria
resident in the seed, and In the soil.
injure and destroy the roots Of plants
and otherwise affect succeeding crops.
The remedy for this is not primarily
fertilization, nor naturalization Of
soil toxins, but the combating Of
fungi and bacteria and by means OF
sanitary measures such as seed Sc
lection and disinfection, and crop TO.
tation.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
FEEDING MEAT TO POULTRY
Green Bone Freshly Cut Just Before
Feeding Is Quite Beneficial-Judg-
ment Must Be Used.

Meat in some form must be fed to
poultry. They must have animal mat
ter. Fowls running on free ranges
where insects are plentiful obtain a
sufficient supply of animal matter, but
those kept in closer quarters must be
given this food in another form. Finely
chopped fresh meat is an excellent
bone and muscle builder for the young
stock, but should not be fed more
often than two or three times week.
Green bone freshly cut just before
feeding, is equally as beneficial. but
also be fed with judgment as to how
much and how often. Meat foods as
sist feather, bone. muscle and comb
development, consequently too much
is apt to cause too much forcing along
these lines.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
NEW CHECK STORY.

You've heard a lot Of stories about
the fool mistakes women make when
they come to bank" says q we'll.
known paying teller over on the ave
nue., s;and some Of them are true.
I've seen 'em all-the woman who
gets mad when we call her attention
to an overdraft aRd then wants to
write q check to make 1t up; the WON.
an whose Endorsements are weird-all
of them.
"But the worst came in few weeks
ago. She showed check in through
the window without looking at me.
said:
Madam. you win have to get some.
body to introduce you before can
cash this check for you"
'Sir!' she answered haughtily. 7
am here on business and not making
a social call. do not care to know
you Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
Window Seed Box.

entering next to the ground. An mex
perienced person would be surprised
at the warmth and growth Of hardy
plants inside of such a cold frame
during the winter months, says writ
er in Green's Fruit Grower.
The hotbed is more often construct
ed on the farm than the cold frame.
When living on the farm was deeply
interested in the hotbed. 1t was a
pleasure to see the seeds sprout and
grow vigorously when everything out
side was seemingly cold and dead.
There is no secret or difficulty in
establishing successful hotbed on the
farm. All that is needed is an ample
supply of fresh horse manure, which
can be stacked to depth of two or
three feet after having been thorough
ly trodden down. On top Of this a bot
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
/ suffered Wlth Rheumatlsn

for years and could not tend to my
farm writes VIM. A. Parker. Horners-
town, N. J. 7 took all kinds Of treat
ment without any result until last
March got the 6-bottle treatment Of
Jones' Breakup. Now I can follow the
plough all day, do any kind Of work
and feel like a 16syear-old boy" We
guarantee that 6 bottles will cure any
case of rheumatism or sciatica or re-
fund your money. Ordinary cases can
be cured with one or two bottles. II
not at your dealers. bottle will be
sent direct on receipt of 81 by Jones'
Breakup, Inc, New Egypt, N. Y-
Adv.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
HAD OLD LADY's GRATITUDE.
Stories Boy Had Absorbed May Have
6een Inventions, But She Was
Satisfied.

1t was on q Wade Park car on the
dine Of 20 angles. and it happened but
Gday or two ago.
A boy Of perhaps fourteen suddenly
arose from his seat and gave it to a
st6ut lady. The stout lady looked up
at him.
. s'Yuura;a polite lad" she said. Few
boys nowadays would do the like" +
81 guess you didn't read yesterdays
paper" said the boy. "There's story
about boy who gave up his seat in a
street car to lady. and when she died
last week she left him $1,000"
II didn't see 1t" said the lady.
Maybe you saw tie one about the
hoy who carried the old woman's bas-
dnets and 'slasg gave him "a brick house
and a.aOsinS picture theaser ~
NO. /. said the lady: Il didn't see
that 'Opa .eithHrs@.s.t e.
"TAeres Wasv another one," the, lad
vent on, 6ahout the boy who had q
lower berth in tn sieepin' car an gave
at to q sick lady an she left him all
her fortune, don't know how much
1t was. but It must have been an awful
lot. You see how 1t is-you can't af-
gf6rd to risk any chances"
z The lady, s0iemnly nodded her head
'Blassines on the man who invents
thOBes Stories" she solemnly said
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
Early CABBAGE.

Early cabbage is usually profitable.
The first heads should be ready for
marketing not later than the first Of
July. This means that the plants
must be started in hotbeds or green
houses and then transplanted to cold
frames. Strong, stalky plants set in
the open ground as soon as weather
conditions win permit will produce
marketable heads by the first Of July.
If a good strain of Jersey Wakefield
or some other early variety is select
ed all of the heads should be sold be.
fore the first of August.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
FRESH MANURE IS VALUABLE
1t 10 Possible Under the Best Sys.
TENS OF Management to Prevent
All Loss Of Ingredients.

Manure is never SO valuable as
when perfectly fresh, for it is inn
possible under the best system Of
management to prevent a loss of its
fertilizing ingredients. For this rea-
son, whenever possible it should be
hauled directly to the field and spread.
This saves time and labor and in-
wolves handling but once. When it Is
impossible to remove the manure at
once to the field, it must be property
stored. A lean-to shed is all that is
needed. This should have a water
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
MAKING COLD FRAMES
Device Consists Of Framework
or B0ttOmless Box.
No Secret or Difficulty in Establishing
Successful Hotbed on the Farm
Ample Supply Of Manure Is
Necessary.

It is not too early to consider the
making Of cold frames and hotbeds.
I have seen pansies in blossom in New
York state in midwinter when the bed
was protected with cold frame. This
cold frame simply consists of a frame
work or bottomless box covered with
glass. This glass-covered cold frame
is placed over the bed desiring to be
protected and manure or leaves or
earth is placed around the outside Of
the base to keep the cold wind from
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
WILLING.

What would you do II / kissed
your" he asked, pleasantly.
What do you think / would dor
she replied shyly.
Il really don't know"
We'll. why don't you tnd outi''
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
Hardly coed Materlal for Anae

Hardly Good Material for Angels
A little girl OF eight, living on the
South side. asked her mother: stMam-
ma. what are boys after they are dead
-elfs?"
'.No, DEAR replied her mother.
they are angles, as all other people
are when they die. IL they have been
good. Why do you think they would
be elfs?''
WELL the child answered, Il
didn't think boys ever could be angles.
should think they would be brownies,
or elfs, or kewpies, or something like
that" was the child's answer. Kan
sas City Star.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
How lt Started.

What started the trouble between
them?"
'She fell heir to lot of money"
II don't see why that should cause
q quarrel"
''Well, you see, after the estate was
divided he wanted to look after his
wife's share and she said that she
didn't think a man who couldn't earn
more than $25 a week himself a fit
person to handle her finances"
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
conseientious Preparatlon.

"Are you a professor Of mathemat-
icsa" asked Mr.. Cumrox.
II am" said Mr.. Hibrok. Surely
you do not think Of taking up the
study"
eyes, do. I want to plod patiently
through algebra, calculus. logarithms
and all the rest of the outfit. After
that maybe I'll feel competent to ag-
ure out my income tax"
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
Ruatx Mold Roards.

Rusty mold boards and cultivator
shovels are an awful nuisance. and it
requires hours Of hard horse and man
work to clean them. A very little hot
parafEine brushed over them when put
away keeps the iron as bright as we
wish and the minute we start all goes
well. Parafine costs less than the
cuss words the hired man has to use
to get the rust of
The midland journal., 1914-02-27

Book Agent-We can deliver the
work volume at time. Mr.. Jones.
or you can wait until 1t is completed
and have the whole set delivered at
once.
Jones-I guess you'd better deliver
volume at time; live in fat.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
pefenseIess.

..Did you attend any Of your wife's
costume parties?" =.
s'Yes,p replied Mr.. Cumrox. And.
not being recognized, overheard a
heap of conversation"
''What part did you take?"
'.None. l couldn't even take my own
part"
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
Why she CHANGED.

Yes, I've changed doctors"
"But / thought you placed so much
confidence in DR.. Healem!"
Il did, but he's getting old fash.
ioned. You know / told you how shiv.
cry 1 was when the cool weather
came on?"
eyes"
well, I went to DR.. Healem and
told him about it and he said fian.
nels.'"
eyes"
Then went to DR.. Nicely and he
said 'sealskin.' That's why
changed"
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
Not : Great hlandlcap.

"A young man can't really go .
swift gait nowadays without knowing
how to turkey trot."
well, in view Of the fact that most
turkey trotters seem to exert them.
selves considerably without getting
anywhere in particular. don't believe
that the young man who has never
learned to turkey trot need shed any
tears
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
Inconsistent.
Ion,t understand Baxby."

"I don't understand Baxby."
"No?"
'He eats steak SO rare the blood
oozes out of it, smokes cigars so strong
they would knock out a mule and
drinks high-proof whisky as if it were
soda water, but every time his wife
says Henry!' he jumps like scared
rabbit"
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
EarIN ceIerv.

EARLY celery is a profitable crop
where IT can be grown successfully.
The grower should be very careful to
buy the best seed Of an improved
strain or variety. A constant supply
Of moisture during the entire period Of
growth in the field IL highly essential
20 success
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
A Nucleus.

First Negro Say, what mean dis
heah word "'nucleus?"
Second Negro-S -Sumpin' what odder
things gether bout.
First Negro -Uh-huh! Den l was
one las week when upset beehive
In de dahk.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
Hard to DO.

"A perfect woman says that In or
der to attain beauty of form women
should remain continuously in cata;
leptic state"
"You must be mistaken"
"Well, it's the same thing, anyhow.
She says they must eliminate anger.
envy. peeyishness, hate and fear"
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
At the Marriage Brokers'.

Il should very much like to marry
again, but the memory of my first
husband, who was SO good, would not
leave me-"
BE assured, madam, by the side Of
this second one you will always be
thinking of the first. "-Borsszen Jan.
ko (Budapest).
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
A striking Example.

"There are no supreme tests of love
to be met with nowadays"
"You are greatly mistaken. know
OF young woman who sewed up her
slit skirt because the young man she
was engaged to objected"
The midland journal., 1914-02-27

Are the hotbed sash in good repair?
There win be no time for glazing or
painting when transplanting begins.
Glass is very cheap this winter. A
good time to buy saeh and do your
own glazing.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
Neiahborlx bitterness.

Mrs. Murphy Take In that face and
put out your pups.
Mrs. Maloney--I did this morning.
and everybody passing by said:
Good morning. Mrs. Murphy. Sgd.
ney Bulletin.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27

Much Plant Food Is Lost In Leached
Manure-Manure Exposed to the
Weather Over Winter Produced
Only Two-Thirds as Much Corn as
Fresh Manure.
tight floor When manure must be
left in the yard, rick should be care
fully built. 1t should be made SO high
and compact that the hardest rain
will not soak through.
The sides should be perpendicular
and the top dipped to ward the center.
It is advantageous to have the manure
saturated with water, but the rick or
heap must be so built as to retain this
moisture. The water must not drain
away from the heap. Built the rick
at least six feet high.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
Soon Done.

81 have just read beautiful poem
about a toy-streWn house"
81 dare say it could easily be made
a humorous poem"
"How so?"
"By introducing a father who comes
back to that sort Of house late at
night from his club
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
para,doxlcaI BROWN.

'I understand Brown is close fist
ed"
Yes and no."
That's fool answer. No man can
be tight listed and generous at the
same time"
Brown can He gave me this black
eye."
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
Something Different.

Let us get up a piscatorial excur-
sion."
Cant do it. I've Just arranged to
go on fishing party"
The midland journal., 1914-02-27

Rube Hay-An articles worth what
the owner kin git fer II"
Hiram Whiffle-I guess yew never
bought : gold brick. did Ys~7-S Puck
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
its Kind.

How do they propose to entertain
the convention after business hours?"
q supposed with canned music"
The midland journal., 1914-02-27

Don't talk so much People do not
pay any attention to 80 out of every
100 words you utter.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27

Drive that cough from your system.
surely help you-5c at all Drug Stores.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
Only One sBROMO OUININE,

To get the genuine. call for full name, LAxA-
TIVE BROMO QUINTNE. Look for signature OF
E. w. GROVE. Cures Cold in One Day. 2sc.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27

Some fellows are SO clumsy that
they can't even talk without making
break.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
-lE You,RE nRouchY

it is likely that your liver needs stir
ring up. Wright's Indian Vegetable
Pills win set you right quickly. Adv.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27

We can readily believe that many
people are saddest when they sing.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27

Or. Peery's vermifuge ssDead Shot kills
and expels Worms in q very few hours.
Adv.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
Good Business.

Department stores can sell any
thing. The government was going to
scrap lot of old cavalry sabers at
two cents pound as junk"
"Well?"
"a department store took the lot
and ran 'em of at two dollars apiece
as decoration for dens."
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
L6ulcai Result.

Logical Result.
what Is to be the outcome OF the
Fomance3"
Depends on the fellows income"
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
The Brides Cup.

Alas, my honeymoon's eclipsed;
Grown tarnished as q ballroom slipper,
The man that got with that moon
Looks long and too oft at the Dipper.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
The Wrona chap.

Young man. you call regularly to
see my daughter"
- -
The midland journal., 1914-02-27

you must have the wrong man, Mr..
Wombat. l call to collect the payment
on her piano"
The midland journal., 1914-02-27
nnita snft.

Quite Soft.
Molly was a lady.
Molly was a bride,
And OF course the groom was
Greatly mollified.
The midland journal., 1914-02-27

81 want to know If your intentions
are serious?"