Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04

Deacon, you was 1901 tor MAXIM
any such promise"
Il know l was"
MY old woman has asked me
more'n forty time to promise the
same thing, but l never have done 1t
and never will"
But I wish l hadn't"
But you did. and now we must
see how You can get out Of 1t. Was
your wife ever In boat till that
day."
Never"
WAS there any call for her to go
on the river?"
mot a call"
which of the women suggested
that they take the boat?"
MY wife,
Deacon Strothers IL that don't
come under the head Of conspiracy.
then my old white COW is red one!
II any one conspires to force q prom
Use out of another then that promise
won't hold"
II believe you are right, Mr.. Roe
buck replied the deacon with relief
in his voice.
"Of course l am. An agreement
that benefits only one side does not
hold. Did your wife speak up and
say that she would not marry again
II you died first?"
"She did mott"
well, there you are, as free as a
bird, though you'd better go to the
parson and see what he thinks about
1t. He may hold sentimental views"
The deacon walked over to the par
sonage, and not wishing to be too
brusque about 1t be began:
"Parson, do you hold that an angel
in heaven can see what is going on
here below?"
IF they could they wouldn't be
angels very long," was the grim
reply.
But did you ever preach that they
could?"
Not that remember of. Heaven
is long way off, deacon"
MY wife kinder believed that after
she got to heaven she could see what
was takin' place down here"
The parson was silent.
she wanted me to promise not 10
marry again in case she died, because
if she looked down and saw me with
second wife it would make her
feel bad"
IF anything could make the angels
feel bad In heaven, 1t would not be
heaven, would it?"
by George, parson, it wouldn't!
Martha was mistaken about 1t. II
/ was to marry half dozen times
over she couldn't know anything
about it."
But did she ask you to promise ?"
queried the parson.
Eyes, she kinder asked"
"And you promised?"
Eyes, / kinder promised, but 1t was
because I did not want her to feel
bad as an angel. Now that you say
she couldn't feel bad II she tried her
hardest, I guess that promise needn't
bother me much"
But look out next time, deacon"
"Yes-ahem-yes."
ITS the widow Stevens. / sup
poser"
Yes. kinder"
Thrown out any hints YETI"
"a dozen, / guess
you may find that she made a
promise to her dying husband
"Jewhittaker! I'll see about that
the first thingl"
It was a new scare for the deacon,
and he made the two blocks. to the
widows house on the trot. He found
her in the garden coaxing the pea
vines to climb their best, and he
didn't wait a minute before asking:
"Widder Stevens, did your husband
expect to go to heaven when he
died?"
Il don't see how he could. He was
a man that cussed and gambled and
drank"
Did he ask you to promise not to
marry agin2"
mo, he didn't, and IL he had !
should have told him that was my
own business. Why are you asking
these questions?"
Wilder. hain't a good man at the
woodpile?"
Fine"
"And a good one in the garden?"
Sure"
"And hain't l lonely and you
lonely?"
I'VE are"
"Then-then let's get married."
la mel Bring on the parson and
have it over with and off our hands,
for them string beans have got to be
poled afore sundowni"
Tree on Tree.
A singular tree in Cuba Is called the
~,~ ex,,ary tree haofpo n o,rouv fb a