The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1914-12-29
Chatsworth.

A couple of shrewd investigators have
been visiting Tabernacle, South Park
and Chatsworth recently in connection
with some postal frauds in the exploita-
ton Of worthless land as a valuable in
vestment and particularly with the col
lection and retention of taxes from the
unsophisticated metropolitan investors
who had gotten stung. Inasmuch as
this is the third trip of the inspectors to
this neighborhood something is likely
to drop, since Uncle Sam never lets up
on a criminal until death or confinement
in prison ev~entuates. Incendiarism for
insurance or sale of barren soil, having
growth of teaberries, to poor women for
fertile cranberry land, or even conduct
ing a speak easy as experience shows
can be safely put across, but when a
misguided unfortunate uses the mail to
promote his fraudulent schemes, and
when Uncle Sam learns of it, may the
Lord have mercy on his soul, as none is
ments are pleasantly anticipated, since
the wedding out in the pines of the In
desirables will be a benefit to the town
ship and state.
In contra-distinction with conditions
which have heretofore obtained in this
township, the Christmas festivities of
the school childrenIwere a revelation, in
asmuch as during their concerted move
ments the U. S. flag was displayed, and
each pupil waved a small stars and
stripes banner. Despite the fact that the
New Jersey school avs make it manda-
tory for each board of education to pro-
cure and display a flag during school
hours, our trustees never paid any atten-
ton to the statute, However, they
are learning lots lately, and additional
pleasantries are in store for discussion
at our next school meeting.
Our local Knight of st. Crispin from
T~irgovishra, Roumania, as he aptly ex-
presses it "seen his duty and done it"
by building a dance hall, and now under
cover we can defy the mosquitoes and
elements whilst ~endeavoring to Guido
the Castles. AS each male pays five
cents for each dance he enjoys, and as
the shoemaker controls the orchestra,
there is some agitation that the dances
are needlessly brief, since a swain to en-
JOY an active evening must be insupport-
ably weighted down with nickels which
ballast is transferred to the shoemaker
in the course of a few hours.
The cosmopolitan character of our
community in the pines can be fittingly
illustrated by the following incident.
An Italian resident gave our barber, who
is a Russian Jew, one DAYS notice to
vacate the premises he rented, and the
latter brought the matter before a Squire,
who is a product of France, who in turn
issued a m which was served by
a German. However, as they are all
American citizens and vote the Republic
can ticket, they are of the elect, and
friends Of George Bozarth.
A stranger amongst us recently in
quired when the town committee meets, |
and the character of the business they
transact, which inquiry characterized
him as a stranger all right. If anyone
outside the committee knows when they
meet or for what purpose, they will con-
fer a favor on this community by letting
the cat out of the bag. Whilst we are
in doubt over the cryptic sessions we are
very much alive to the result of their
covert cogitations and will enjoy project
ing our astral body into the midst of
their next ance to report progress.
Our esteemed citizen, Walter Sloan,
who is me of our school trustees and a
member of the town committee and of
the local health board, recently remark
ed that only Chatsworth folks should be
allowed to have anything to do with
Chatsworth affairs. AS Walter and his
family carry this policy to it's highest
pinnacle his version should be interpret
ed as: "Only me and mine should be in
control" But there are some real rude
iolts in pickle for the advocates of this
medieval mummery.
Due to dietetic causes primarily, a skin
disease is endemic among some of our
school children. The scientific name for
the trouble is urticaria, but our polygIot
community were unable to resist the
opportunity to slang wang each other,
hence, if a German child is troubled it is
called Italian itch, and when a Bambini
is in trouble it is termed Dutch itch.
You can locate the ancestors by the pre-
fix employed in discussing the derma
tological visitor. If the trouble spreads
we will have to erect scratching poles as
the Duke of Argyle did for the suffering
Scotch under like circumstances. "God
bless the Duke of Argyle"