The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12

den for Elam, and sometimes, when they Road-Hous to Playhouse and thence to the Louis XIV Sitting Room by way of the Tango-Joint. he would moan little and act like a Quitter.
 Whereupon Claudne would jack him up and tell him to pull out his Cuffs and push back the Forelock and try to be Human.
 No use. He was strictly Ritz-Carlton frcm the Pumps to the Topper, but the word "Boob' was stenciled right across the glossy Front.
 When they had conquered all the Eat ing Places in the Tenderloin they moved on to Europe. where they were just as welcome as Influenza.
 1t was great to sit in the Savoy at the Supper Hour. surrounded by the best known people mentioned in the Court Sir culars.
 It was indeed a privilege for Elam and Claudine to be among the British Cousins, even if the British Cousins did not seem to place Elam and Claudine
 Looking in any direction they could see naught but frosty and forbidSing Shoulder Blades.
 After partaking of their Sole and Grouse and winning a pleasant Good Night" from the Chevalier in the Check Room they would escape to their Apartments and talk to the Dog
 In Paris they did better
 They learned that by going out on the Boulevard and whistling. they could sum- mon whole Regiment of high-born and patrician Down-and- Cutters.
 Most of the Titles were slightly worm eaten and spotted with Fungi, but never theless Genuine
 It was Nuts for claudine to assemble all of the Noblemen to be picked up around the Lobby and give them a free run and jump at the Carte du Jour
 Her Dinners soon became the talk of the Chambermaids employed at the Ho- tel
 Anyone willing to cut loose on Caviar and stuff raised under Glass will never dine alone in gay Farce.
 Whenever Elam made noise like 1000 tronss. he found a lot of well-bred Con noisseurs at his Elbow all ready to have something unusual brought up from the Cellar
 The securing of an Invitation to one of Claudine's formal Dinners was almost as difficult as getting into Luna park.
 However, the list of guests sounded Real when sent back to America and printed Tor the entertainment of persons living in Boarding Houses.
 Claudine became slightly puffed When she found herself between a couple of perfumed Laws wearing Medals she would give Friend Husband the Office to move to one side and curl up in the Grass and not ruin the Ensemble by boring in
 Elam was usually at the foot of the Table behind a mass or Orchids Once In while he would try to crowd into the conversation just to let them know that old Ready Money was still present but every time he came up, Dearie would do her blamedest to Bean him and put him out of the Game
 Claudine could make stab at the new Pictures In the Salon and even run nimply around the edge of the Futurist vogue.
 Elam was ready to discuss Steamship Lines or Railway Accommodations. but when he was put against the Tall-Brows he began to burn low and smell of the Wick
 Often, when surfeited with Trufles, he would wonder what had become of the Green Corn, the K. and K, the reg ular Chicken with Giblets, the Huci<Ie- berry. Pie, the smoking Oyster Stew and the Smearcase with Chlves such as Gusta used to send in. These reminders of lowly Past were very distasteful
 Once he talked In his Sleep about Cod fish Balls, and next morning she lit on his something scandalous
 After the Parisian triumphs 1t seemed safe bet to return home and makes A.