davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
NEW IN CONFIDENCE GAMES
Mining Promoter Working In New
York 10 Very Evidently a Man
Of Ideas.

Edgar Lewis. moving picture direc-
tor. told story to his guests in cafe
Of a confidence man with new ideas.
He called the swindler Nat Pierce In
telling the story. Mr.. Lewis said that
he was sitting near a group Of rich
westerners In the Waldorf when he
heard voice calling NAT Pierce,
please" The westerners became In
terested. One Of them said:
THAT is the name Of the clever pro
moter we met today. Let's see who Is
calling on him."
They stopped the page and took the
card. 1t was that of Senator Elihu
Root.
"Ha, hal" they said, "he must be all
right. Here is Senator Roots card"
Soon another page came through
pleased"
The westerners stopped him and
looked at the card. II was that of M.
Jusserand, the French ambassador.
This is enough!" they chorused. and
went out to look for Nat Pierce and
his glittering opportunity. They found
him carelessly shutting collection Of
cards ranging from Governor-elect
Whitman's to that Of President Poin
care Of the republic of France.-New
York Sun.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Not Quite the Same.

A youth was employed in business
house few years ago where the as
sistants had their meals supplied by
their employer, who deducted a GER
tain amount each week from their
wages to defray the cost of the food
The assistants we're not satisfied with
their meals and one day the house
keeper, highly incensed at the re-
marks passed by the youth and his
fellow-sufferers concerning the scar
city of food on the dinner table, re-
ported the matter to the principal,
with the result that the young fellow
was invited the next day to a free
lecture by his employer, who began:
Il hear that you were one of those
who complained about what was pro-
vided for dinner yesterday"
"Oh, no. sir!" came the unexpected
reply. you heard wrongly What
complained about was what was not
provided"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
HIS COMING TIME OF EASE
Georgia Farmer Was Looking For
ward to Period When Hard Work
Should BE Over.

A lumber buyer was staying over
night in little farmhouse In the back.
woods of northern Georgia. The men
Of the house did nothing but sit by the
fire and chew tobacco. The lumber
man had told how he had held his Job
for seven years.
You got me beat" said the old
cracker. I've only held mine for six
years."
What is your job?" asked the lum.
herman.
"Oh. sit by de fire and watch dat
de kids don't fall in"
What do you do in the summer"
he asked.
Il sit by de we'll and pull de kids out
when dey falls In"
What will you do when the chill
dren grow up and don't need watch
ing7" he asked.
Den, s'pose Is goner take things
easy and retire." he said.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Their Trouble.

A member of the board of educa.
ton, serving as chairman of the board
of superintendent, was in need of a
teacher, and he wanted certain WON
an whom he knew to have passed the
examination satisfactorily, but who for
some reason had not yet been as
signed. In his indignation he called
up the Office of the board and in 3
sharp. impatient voice asked:
What Is the matter with the
board of superintendent anyway"
THE trouble with the board of su
perintendents," came the slowly
drawled reply, "is that they take them
selves too seriously. They forget thai
God made them just for the fun of it,
New York Evening Post.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
industrious Spiders.

They have very Industrious spiders
down in South America. We think
our spiders here work hard enough,
but down there they are said to work
overtime. Upon one occasion, at
least, they completely disorganized the
telegraph service in part of the Argen
tine republic by spinning too many
webs across the lines AS soon as dew
fell or a shower of rain came on, each
one of the innumerable microscopic
threads, becoming wet, set in motion
tiny leakage of electric current
These millions of leaks practically
stopped the operation of the lines
thus putting the government telegraph
department, especially in Buenos
Aires, to serious inconvenience and
expense.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24

Excuse me-" said Bridget, putting
her head in at the cashiers window,
but do OF understand thot yez lind
money here on character"
"Why-yes,' hesitated the cashier.
Thin Old loike fifty dhollars, sorr,
on moine," said Bridget, producing a
number of greasy references. "They's
swim NV thin from me previous i'm
ployers-"
But the cashier had fed. The idea
of explaining the intricacies of col.
lateral to a lady with seven charac.
ters was too appalling.-Judge.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Primary for Postmaster.

The five candidates for the Jeffer-
son City postmastership each received
letter from Congressman Dorsey w.
Shackleford, in which he declines to
assume responsibility for selecting the
man who shall be appointed to the
place.
He says the choice properly belongs
to Senator Stone, Jefferson City being
the home town of the senator as well
as the congressman. If the senator
declines the responsibility, and ap-
parently he has done So then Mr..
Shackleford declares he will call a
primary to determine who shall have
the office
At least two of the candidates, 81.
Thomas Fisher, chairman of the Cole
county Democratic committee, and
John II. Delahay, who have been
working for the appointment for two
years, are not pleased with the pri-
mary idea.
The other applicants, DR.. o. l..
Moore, George J. Stampfli and Judge
F. J. Fromme, have not expressed
themselves on the suggestion.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
An Awful Vision.

On an English golf links there is a
notice to the effect that "mistresses
are invited to allow their housemaids
to practice rife shooting at the range"
This excites great disgust among the
recruits. One of them told me of an
awful vision he had in consequence.
He saw the Germans arriving in town
and, meeting them in deadly combat,
the local corps of housemaids, while
the members of the new army" had
to busy themselves getting the meals
and making the beds!-The By.
stander
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
c. G A. to Issue Bonds.

Application was filed with the pub
lie service commission by the Chicago
& Alton Railway company for author
ity to issue bonds to the amount of
$563,000 These are to be issued I'M
der the general mortgage Of the COM
pany, dated July l, 1913. of which the
United States Mortgage Trust COM
pany of New York and E. F. Swinney
of Kansas City are the trustees. The
proceeds are to reimburse the COM
pany for money already taken out of
income and other funds to pay for
property purchased and general bet
terments made.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Labor Commissioner Reports.

The needs OF the state of Missouri
in economic legislation are given by
Commissioner John T. Fitzpatrick in
his letter transmitting to Gov. Major
the thirty-fifth annual report of the
bureau Of labor statistics. He says:
Information gathered by this de-
partment and statistics tabulated
therefrom and complaints investi.
gated disclose the need of laws on the
following subjects:
State workmen's compensation on
a pension basis, which should eventu-
ally. be placed under the direction
and provided for by the national gov
eminent; state inspection of bridges
and buildings, with provisions strictly
regulating certain scaffolding and
flooring; inspection of all apparatus.
equipment and paraphernalia used in
hazardous occupations; state civil
service for inspectors, statisticians,
clerks and other employees in those
departments which have the enforce
ment and direction of such industrial
laws; an eight-hour day to apply to
all work done by and for the state, a
law prohibiting the payment OF wages
otherwise than in currency of the
United States, law providing for
the payment of wages to any employee
within "a hours after such employee is
discharged or voluntarily quits; a
measure establishing two pay days a
month for all state employees"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
ALL THEY COULD HOPE FOR
Under the Circumstances Almost End
less Entertainments should Have
Been In Order.

There is a certain Chicago man Of
a remarkably cheerful and optimistic
turn OF mind. His wife, on the other
hand, takes things very seriously. and
has no small difficulty in accommo-
dating herself to the peculiarities Of
his friends when, as not infreQuently
happens, they differ from her own.
Henry" said she to her husband
one evening, when she had returned
home more or less agitated by some
thing. What do you think they say
about Mrs. Eaton. the bakers wife?"
I'm sure l don't know" said the
husband. Nothing serious, hope"
They say they can tell when she's
going to have callers by her washing
the children's faces! Now, you're
a pretty sanguine man, Henry, but
what on earth can you hope for q
woman like that7"
Well" said Henry, Il suppose all
we can hope for is that she entertains
good deal"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
HIGHWAY ASSOCIATION HAS
SEVEN PROPOSALS FOR NEW
LEGISLATURE.
MEETIN HANNIBAL NEXT YEAR
w. n. Buffum, e. =. C. Harding and
n. c. Allen Naned>as. Committee
TO Introduce and Promote
Passage Of New Bills.
Jefferson City.

JelIeVbOn Slty.
Officers of the Highway Engineers
Association of Missouri were elected
hefore the annual convention ad-
,oarned as follows: Il. F. c. Hard
ing of jefferson City, president; NJ.
s. Murray of Sikeston, vicepresident;
T. w. Sheets of Hannibal, secretary;
II. O. Allen OF Clinton, treasurer.
Hannibal was selected as the meet
ing place next year.
State Highway Commissioner Frank
w. Buffum, President e. f. c. Hard
ing and H. G.. Allen were named a
committee on legislation, to promote
the following:
A law to combine the offices of
county highway engineer and county
surveyor.
A law to require poll taxes to be
paid as other taxes.
To abolish the office of road over
seer and provide for road building and
working by contract under the super.
vision OF the county highway engi-
neer.
To require county highway engi-
neers TO attend schools of instruction
in road building.
To increase automobile licenses to
q minimum Of SIS and to provide that
the state shall return to each county
the amount of licenses collected from
automobiles owned in 1t.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
What He Meant.

Perhaps 1t is best, after ALL" re-
marked the rejected sutton, as he lin
gered in the hall. "a man of twenty
FIVE would soon tire OF wife who
lowered round the thirty-two mark"
why, Mr.. Ardent" said the woman
in the case, "how very ungallant Of
you to insinuate that l am thirty-two."
well, perhaps you are not" he re-
piled, "but it certainly struck me that
you were somewhere near the freez-
ing point"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
important to Mothers
He Knew Two,

Miss PAUL was one of the teachers
at the mission Sunday school. One
Sunday the subject of the lesson was
THE Second Commandment" and Miss
PAUL began by asking little Adelbert
Dugan the question:
Now, Adelbert, have we any idols in
this country"
For moment the boy hesitated,
and then replied:
Eyes, ma'am. Me dads idle, and me
uncle, too"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Hilton Before Commission.

In the railroad rate advance hear
ing before the public service commits
sion Alexander G.. Hilton, passenger
traffic manager Of the st. Louis & San
Francisco system, was the chief wit
ness He told OF the decreased earn
ings from passenger business after
the 2-cent fare law became effective
in Missouri.
Mr.. Hilton made the statement that
II the 2-cent rate is to be continued
there must be further reduction in
passenger train service. The next step
would be the reduction of the through
train service, and eventually ii would
come about in Missouri that all the
passenger trains would be local trains
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Primary Law Attacked.


Judge John G. Brown, member OF
the Missouri supreme court, in a con-
curing opinion handed down in the
suit growing out of the fusion of
Democrats and Progressives In st.
Louis county. assailed the validity Of
that section Of the state primary law
which requires a candidate seeking
a party nomination to pay a stipu.
lated sum to the treasurer Of his
party committee.
Such law, Judge Brown said is
against sound public policy. and is
enough to make every honest man in
the state hide his face in shame.
The section attacked by Judge
Brown provides for the following
schedule Of fees: Governor, minor
state officers and judges Of the su-
preme and appellate courts, 500;
candidates for congress, $50; candi-
dates for circuit Judge, s25; state sen.
ator, $40; representatives, IS.
The validity of this section was
questioned by Assistant Attorney Gen
eral Fitch in the case Of c. II. Werre-
meyer against William u. Seibel.
county clerk Of St Louis county. to
compel the latter to print his (Werre-
meyer's) name upon both the Pro
gressive and Democratic ballots.
Senator A. E. l.. Gardner, represent.
ing Seibel, made the point that the fee
had not been paid when the suit was
instituted. Fitch then declared in his
opinion the section is unconstitu-
tional.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Wives Have Money Now.

Soldiers wives find themselves in
many cases in receipt of much more
money than they we're when their hus-
bands were at home.
us a. this money for me?" asked
the wife Of a Glasgow soldier when
she received her first weeks allow.
ance.
Aye, a for you," responded the
genial pay sergeant.
will hae a this money every
week?"
"Weel, them" said she, I'VE can TAX
my guild man an keep him as long as
ye like. ! never had sac muckle
money before. London Chronicle.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Fastidious Shoppjno.

A butcher in nice part" of town
tells of the curious whims of some of
his well-to-do patrons.
One OF them, it appears, rusr ed into
his shop just about closing time and
exclaimed:
MY husband desired that / should
come in this afternoon and order some
special English chops, and I've been
so busy until now | haven't had the
time. Now l shall be compelled TO
carry them. And couldn't you please
have them wrapped so that they will
look like a book?"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Il Made a Difference,

Johnnie puzzled as to how to pro-
nounce the name of an employer)-
Say, father, do you pronounce K-n-u-d
with long or a short "u?"
Father (who, of course, doesn't
know)-Oh, it doesn't make any diff
ference.
Johnnie-Well, guess it makes a
good bit of difference whether a man
is mud or nude up in the arctic regions.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Overheard BY Mr., Mills,

At lunch, a Western Union office
girl was reading letter from a chum
to the other girls. Describing a new
dress the letter said: 1T is certainly
fin de steele"
Fin de sickle" repeated one of the
girls, what does that mean?"
Il don't know. Fin sounds like a
fish. Maybe 1t means it was trimmed
with fish net."-New York Sun.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
At the First SIGNS

or falling hair get Cuticura. It
works wonders. Touch spots Of dan
druff and itching with Cuticura Oint-
ment, and follow next morning with a
hot shampoo of Cuticura Soap. This
at once arrests falling hair and pro-
notes hair growth. For free sample
each with 32-p. Skin Book, address
post card: Cuticura, Dept. x, Boston.
Sold eyeryWhere.-Adv.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Preacher Paroled.

A parole granted by Gov. Major
frees Rev. Aaron 3. Donaldson. form
erly of St Louis, from all the legal
entanglements growing out of bust
ness transactions in connection with
deals in mining stocks in which he
was alleged to have swindled James II.
Downs, retired farmer of Assump-
ton, ILL.,, out of large sum OF money.
Donaldson, formerly Southern
Methodist minister, was convicted in
St Louis and sentenced to three
years Imprisonment. lie appealed to
the supreme court.
In the meantime he was tried and
convicted in Illinois on a similar
charge, Downs being the prosecuting
Ettless, and was sentenced to two
yeart' imprisonment. He appealed this
case also.
The Missouri supreme court af-
hrmed the st. Louis sentence and he
was taken to the jefferson City peni-
Tertiary, where he served nine
months. At the expiration of that
time he was paroled by Gov. Major,
that his bondsmen in Illinois might
not suffer a loss of $4,000, as the
Illinois supreme court had affirmed
his sentence in that state. II was
stipulated that he must return to JEFF
ferson City and complete his sentence
when'the Illinois term expired.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Continuous Grand Jury.

Circuit Judge John G. Slate an
nounced he will call special grano
jury during the session of the Forty
eighth general assembly to investi-
gate any charges which may be made
about corrupt lobbying, poker playing,
Illicit sale of liquor or any other mat
tiers involving violation of the state
laws.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
State Home Ready in March.

The state industrial home for me-
gro girls will be ready for inmates
about March 20, according to Miss
Jeanette McConachie, secretary of the
board OF managers. The home is 10
Gated near Upton. The building is
practically completed. 1t will accom-
modate about 500 girls.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Minerals In Missouri.

In special bulletin issued by John
l. Patrick. labor commissioner, he
enumerates more than so substances
'aken from the soil OF Missouri which
auu largely to our commemorative
material prosperity. The list runs from
anglesite to zinc.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
How Else2

How do you explain the reported
reduction in the size of Boston's smart
set?"
"Oh, in the usual way"
''And how is that?"
There's a strong-m minded woman be.
hind it,"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Ask for Bond Issue.

:, Application was filed with the pub
he service commission by the Chicago
nreat Western Railway company for
sa,hority to issue bonds aggregating
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Lizzie Would Sfau

Mrs. Atwell had had a quarrel with
her maid, Lizzie, and the maid re-
marked that she would leave.
Lizzie" said the mistress, severe
ly, you must stay until get another
girl"
II intend to, num-" said Lizzie.
"Shure it's only right some wan should
tell her the kind of a woman We are"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Appreciation.

The governors wife was telling
Bridget about her husband.
my husband, Bridget" she said,
proudly, is at the head of the state
militia"
"Oi thought as much, ma am" said
Bridget, cheerfully; Amt he got tn
foine malicious look"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Ball In Prospect.

Seven hundred invitations we're is
sued from the executive mansion for
the annual military ball and recep-
ton that will be given by Gov. and
Mrs. Major. The formal invitations
go only to state officers and officers
of the national guard and to members
of the governors personal staff.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Knew His Dauohter.

Young Mani have called, sir, to
request the hand of your daughter in
marriage.
Grumbells-Has she accepted you?
Young Man-Yes, sir.
Grumbells-Then why do you want
to come round and bother me with
your troubles?
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
"Hope SPRINGS EternaI.n

Lady Bountiful-Oh, rector,
thought you would like to know that
old Jones Is laid up with rheumatic
fever.
Rector-Thank you so much. I'm
always so glad to hear of sick par
ishioner.-FTom the Bystander.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Hearing Resumed.

The public service commission has
resumed the hearing on the proposed
increase of rates by the Missouri rail-
roads on freight, passenger and bag
gage traffic. The commission will go
at once into the hearing on the mer-
It's OF the applications.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
At the Front.

81 have enlisted as a chauffeur"
well, my boy, drive your car like
a man and soldier"
Father, I'll spill my last drop of
gasoline in defense of my country"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Forced Out.

why did Congressman Blowster re-
tire to private life?"
"Oh, for the usual reason"
And what was that"
Another man got more votes than
he did"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Starting Too Hiqh,

you told me before / married you
that my slightest wish would be graft
fed"
80 did, my dear, but had no
idea at that time that your slightest
wish would be limousine"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Capital Poultry Show.

Inc annual show OF the Jefferson
0ity Poultry association is in prog
iess this week. The exhibit this year
iar surpasses that of previous years
IN the number and breeds of the fowls
entered.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
A Blow 10 Estheticlsm.

Whats the matter with Professor
Biggers. Is he suffering from palsy ?"
mo. He began to shudder when
the Germans first bombarded Reims
and he hasn't been able to stop yet"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Cold Stops Work.

The cold weather has caused CON.
plete suspension of work on the now
Missouri statehouse. The concre
work was practically done. howeys:.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
His Wife's Ways.

Isn't your wife a clipper"
she's more. She's a revenue cut
ter!"-Judge.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24

The wise young man keeps on the
right side of his rich old uncle who IL
deaf in his left ear.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24

You can't keep a good man down;
nor an upstart.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
Its Size.

What is that story Bragg is telling
of himself about?"
About the limit"
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24
New Lieutenant.

Gov. Major issued a commission to
Jesse r. Robinson of st. Louis as first
lieutenant of Company G, First regi-
ment of infantry, N. G. NJ.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24

It is generally hard matter to
land a soft job.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24

Many mans character is formed
before marriage-and reformed after.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1914-12-24

YOUR OWN DRUGGIST WILL TELL YOU
Try Murine Rye Remedy for Red, Weak, watery
kyes and Granulated Eyelids; No Smauing-
Just Eys comfort Write for Hook OF the Rye
by mail Free Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1914-07-29

horsewhipping from the irate prince
when he heard of the conference.
His lawless life has been the scan
dial of Europe, but even his worst enc
mics never believed the carnival of
crime would be brought to a climax
with so shocking catastrophe as the
assassination of Archduke Francis
Ferdinand. It's the charge that
Prince George was an accomplice in
this plot of assassination that has
brought Servia and Austria, and per-
haps all Europe to the brink of war.