Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-11-04
STOUCH SAYS HE SAW
JUDGES Of ELECTION
'SOUSED' AT POLLS
Declares When He's Through
Copper VIII Be Ripped
Off Things"

II saw some of the election judges
so soused that they couldn't count the
votes when 1 made a tour of some OF
the voting places in your city this
evening"" said DIR. Slough in his pre-
liminary remarks at the tabernacle
last night. Some of your voting
places are right in saloons, or adjoin-
ing. But I'll rip some of the copper
off things before l get through with
this campaign.
Some of you won't like this ser
mon tonight" he said to his audience
of more than 5000 at the beginning OF
his address, but you will be back to-
morrow just the same. Some people
come just to get a shock-and you
need it-some of you are dead and
don't know 1t.
The sermon last night was based
on the New Testament story of the
four men who carried the paralytic
man on a blanket to the house where
Jesus was and let him through the
roof. 1t was designed to show the
effectiveness of concerted action on
the part of the various church denomi-
ations in advancing the cause OF
Christianity, and the futility of each
working in a different way toward SAL
Vation.
Must Pull Together.
IF each of those four fellows carry
ing the sick man had pulled in a
different direction as some of your
churches do, then they would never
have gotten him to Jesus"
The evangelist gave a slangy YER
sion of the account of Jesus going
home to Peters house, and finding
Peters mother down with the rheu-
matism, and of how he raised her
from her bed. He gave it in the par
lance of the street and seemed to
shock some of the hearers, but he only
said in reference to the attitude of
the critical ones, IF you don't like
it you can lump it," and kept right
on ripping into all, preachers, elders,
and church members alike.
Oriticises Fashionable Church.
AS his sermon proceeded it de-
veloped into q severe critisim of the
modern fashionable church and of the
ordinary highly educated preacher and
the well-paid mechanical adjuncts of
organists and singers. He gave dra-
matte imitation of a "high-brow"
minister on his pulpit; then he turned
to the local ministers on the reserved
seats at his side and asked them how
they liked his acting. Most of the
preachers were conVulsed with
laughter and applauded the speaker
loudly, others only grinned and few
showed their attitude by scowls.
But Dr. DtOuBn ONeTlOOheu llle
slight adverse feeling and proceeded
to initiate one of the crack" quar-
tettes that are often employed in a
city church. He described the game
of tag" carried on between the tenor
and the soprano, or the alto and bass
singer in their so-called musical
flights. He explained that this
"rhapsodical singing" was the method
of praising the Lord in the churches
where tha dollar reiEnS
Elders Nothing But Ballast.
DR.. Slough said that many of the
elders of a church are nothing but ball
last to maintain dignity and are often
the men who insist that the church
be kept open both Sunday morning
and night when an evangelistic cam
paign comes to town.
He apologized for his apparent
parody on the divine worship" and
his sarcasm on the methods of many
churches, but said that some people
need a shove and that some churches
are maintained just to ''see the wheels
go round"
"T sometimes think the church has
forgotten what it is here for" he
declared. "A church that does not
bring people to Christ had better be
turned into a wood-shed. Some of
these churches have had their me-
chanical ministers so long that they
can not get rid of them.
Religion That's Conc to Seed.
81 was a precise and proper
preacher-that was before 1 lost my
hair-and 1 used to preach my SER