davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22
HIGHER HONORS
FGR KITCHENER

London. fune 2i~-The hi-thdav
hoaorg by King George ate ammo deced
th4s morning The principal one IS
fire elevation Of N}scount kttch aneF
pf X hsrtoHsrl who Is made An earl
lie received the title Of rlse3urt IA
l&bz tis Is At pres@rt BRUSH 2Tent
u~d consul general in Egypt He was
made y.rdah of Egypt 1850. after
eis victories n thai country. anu mas
received numerous medals aud clasps
I'M addition 10 being epeatediY men :
t.ar.t ga dispatches from the front
Ee also received the thanks of par
aameat and many decorations
Earl Kitchener was Vorn II Taanty
kerry. Ireland. In 1880. and Is son
Of me ate Lieutenant~C Colonel Fl ii.
Kitchener. ~ I.eieestershtre Four
men were made harons. sncladtas. SIR
Edgar Vincent. X. c. NJ G.. who was
financial adviser 20 tho Egyptian GOV
eminent far seven Years and COVER
ror 1T the Imperial hank at Constan-
s4neple feen 1sss IA iA41
Eight hsrnGets are created These
include SIR Nansitfart Eowster, the
present herd mayer II London
The names of rs new KNIGHTS are
announced These include James G
Frazer. the anthropoioglst.
Right Homo rahle Robert L, Borden,
premier ~ Canada. who was made
pYfvy councillor in 1912. is created q
knight Of the Grand Cross o. st
Michael and st. George.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22
MED|ATORS HAVE
NEW SUGGESTION
FROM DR.. NA0N
Argentine Minister to Offer
Proposition VIII ich Practi
cally Starts New Proceedings
in Conferenc at Niagara

Niagara Falls, Ont, June 21.-The
arst full conference held by the Next
can and American delegates and the
three South American mediators In
more than a week will take place to-
morrow morning Al this conference
DR.. Naon, the Argentine minister, viii
explain to the delegates the new sug-
gestions which in his mind VIII justify
them in continuing their negotiations
Absolutely no Information was oh
tainable here tonight regarding the
new plan No further official state
rnents will he forthcoming from either
side until solne tangible step has been
taken or son-e decisive agreement ar
rived at.
The report that DIR. Naon's plan is to
permit the eonstitutiona1lsts to come
to the mediation conference and dis
cusS the international phases of the
Mexican problem aroused much in
terest on all sides.
Although there still remain those
who believe that the mediators are
as determined as ever to make the
participation Of Carranza conditional
upon the declaration of II arm 81 ice,
there are others in the immediate en-
tourage Of the three South American
diplomats who believe that way out
Of this difficulty can easily he found.
Whatever else may be embed ed in
DR. Naon's plan. 1t is known TO no one
here except the Argentine minister
himself and his two colleagues One
thing is certain, and that is that the
conference Is practically starting all
over again tomorrow morning.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22
WOMEN To SEEK
AID Of WILSON
TO ASK PRESIDENTS INTEREST
IN PASSAGE OF ENFRANCHIsE-
NENT BILL.

Washington. June 2t--Pubilc at
tention once more will be focused
upon the White House on June ."
when, for the seventh time. depu-
tation of women will 60 to wait upon
President Wilson seeking his aid IN
furthering the passage of the Rristow-
Monden amendment enfranchisinG
women. 1t is the intention OF the wo-
men to remind the president again OF
the need of their Acknowledgement.
Also they Will endeavor to bring 10
his notice personally the significance
OF th., endorsement of equal suffrage
bv the foundation Of the women's
clubs of the United States at Chicago
a week ago. Delegates are expected
from many States to swell the contin-
gent from the District of Columbia.
Fsnecialy large delegations are prom
isea from Pennsylvania and MARYLAND.
Mrs. Harvey w Wiley, vice-presl-
dent Of the District delegation OF wo-
mems club, has issued the call.
A mass meeting will precede the
trip TO the White House, and In the
evening a garden party will be given
in honor of the delegates by Mrs
William Kent. of California.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22
WILD WOMEN" ARE:
SETTLING DOWN

London. Jane 2t.-The wild Wo-
men" were comparatively quiet today,
and churchgoers were permitted TO
participate in the Sabbath services
without annoyance except III two iso-
lated cases. These were at st, Mar
garet church, Westminster, and the
Parish church. at Windsor, where
some women who attempted to inter-
rupt the services We're elected. The
disturbance was not serious at either
of these churches
The militants who attempted 10
hold their usual Sunday meetings in
HYDE Park and Streatham common,
were haited by the crowds and their
CLOTHES torn The police came to their
rescue as usual
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22
DESPERATE MILK MAN
SHOOTS ROTHSCH|LO
CLAIMS MILLIONAIRE IS CAUSE
OF HIS FAILURE IN
BUSINESS.

Paris. June 21.-The condition Of
DR.. Henri de Rothsch'ld. as he prefers
TO be called. although he is a baron
OF the Austrian empire. who wac shot
early this morning as he was return
ing from gala performance at the
opera, was much improved tonight.
The aniY ont Of the FIVE bullets fired at
the doctor by Prudhen the old milk
dealer, which took effect, Was extract
ed to-day without any serious results.
7 he doctor has developed no fever and
hopes are entertained OF his speedy re-
Coverr.
Pr4dhen. who attempted to Kill the
doctor believes he has a grievance
against n. de Pothchilds He said he
lost Sc coo IN the milk business owing
70 he establishment of one Of DIR de
Eoth@chjid'S depots near his place
Frudhan moved To- another section of
the city. where he opened a new shop.
but again q Rothschtld dairy vas
opened IN his neichborhood aud he
was compelled IL get out Of the bus.-
ness
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22
VIRGINIA TRAVELLER
MEETS SUDDEN END

Especial to The Richmond virginian,}
Chattanooga, Tenn. June 21.--El
ner r. Cross, aged thirty-six. a travel
ing salesman Of Suffolk, Va. but mem
bers Of whose family live at 1927
La Sale street Chicago. was killed here
tonight when ne fell into the eieva-
tor shaft at a local hotel He fell
on top OF the bar Just as 1t had passed
the third floor. going down. and his
head and one s7 e were crushed be
tween the side Of the car and the
wall NJ the shaft 1t was half an
hour before his body could be ex-
tracted. and he did not die until
twenty minutes after the accident
happened II IS said that strangula :
ton, rather than his bruises killed
him
Mr Cross was a member Of the
Etks' club. Suffolk, Va; OF the L. c.
T Richmond. the + r. A. of Viz
einia- ana Of the Westmoreland club.
Richmond He had been in Chatta-
nooga since Wednesday
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22
THE BUSINESS MANS DIAGNOSIS,
Real Attitude OF Merchants, Over the
SiIuution and Outlook.

Philadelphia. June 2t,--While * is
not easy as yet TO find any one in the
business community really enthusiasts
over the prospects of the coming
months. it is undeniable that thece has
been a distinct subsistence Of the lately
prevalent pessimism Quite number
Of large sales of wool have been
made and a fair inquiry appeared for
all grades. a particularly gratifying
feature in textile lines is that collec~
tons have measurahly improved.
Broadly speaking. Philadelphia
trade, while below normal. appears TO
be we'll maintained on all sides, ex-
preston OF opinion Ia heard now
adays, TO the effect that, If congress
would adjourn and postpone the. mat
ter Of over-regulating the country's
| business procedure, flttie complain
would be heard as to the volume o.
trade.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22
VILLA LEADS HIS
MEN TO THE FROM

Washington, June Wv ora was r.
ceived here tonight that General Via
II ~ head Of the army Of the North,
eo.oneratiur. with General Naiera, had
hes.;n the secorat attack on Zacatecas,
The receipt of this message greatly
relieved the gloom which has for the
past few days rermeated the ranks OF
the representatives of carranza here.
1t is regarded as absolute proof of the
healing of the breach between Vllla
and the nrst chief.
While Zacatecas is not In any serse
a strong strategical point for either
army 10 hold, villa has already an
nouncea his intention to sweep the
north and central portions of Mexico
free of federals in his march on the
capital.
II is understood that Huerta plans
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22
Statement by Messrs. ones and Richardson

undersigned have been connected with the AnSaoon league
about thirteen
urer the other superintendent We
oughv of the that of time
this
Anti Saloon that Dr.
Saloon
time been paid amount small
of
the league
within
fund forStatewde prohibition Any statement
salary his the
league incorrect reflection Dr. Cannon.
{Signed S. P. JONES.
F.
Of Anti League of Virginia
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22
NO COMPROMISE
ON ANY QUESTION
Of TRUE MORALITY
Strong Sermon By Rev. Lloyd
T. Wilson on Leading Topics
of the Hour

There must be no compromise on
any question Of morality. II a thing
is wrong, il must he gotten rid Of, not
tolerated under certain conditions. A
compromise between vice and virtue
Is an insult to virtue" declared Rev
Lloyd r. Wilson. pastor of Grace
street Baptist church yesterday morn
ing. in a sermon on the subject Of
prohibition.
The struggle Of political and social
life, the conflicting claims eft races, ma
tons and States. classes. parties, arc
usually terminated and perhaps under
existing conditions of things, are best
terminated by compromise Let
neither side get all 1t wants--let both
sides yield. something to the other
let the prudent and moderate on each
side seek an Intermediate caurse, be-
tween the TWO extremes advocated
and the result is often peace and
something approaching to content
ment. Compromise Is the soul IF Dip
iomacv-~the idol Of clever paritamen mt
airy leaders, and party managers. The
oil. as has been said whereby the
wheels of the world are made to run
smoothly Bat in religion, compro-
mise Is out OF place.
There must he no compromise with
respect ~ JtiAE iA'I4r IN Il IttE - fiA'AN'i
false or true. and between truth and
falsity there ia not halfway ground.
Half truth is a lie. To compromise
q truth is To give place to lie.
BE No Compromise.
'HThere must he no compromise with
respect TO Christian duty The laws
of God are plain and must be oheyed,
Not to obey them is 70 disobey them
Man cannot dodge the issue Moses was
ordered to lead his people out OF
Egypt. To have accepted Pharnan' s
offer would have been. not only a
compromise with Gods enemy. hut a
faagrant breach Of the command given
him by God and In entering on the
path of 1isobedience he would have
forfefthef Gods blessing. He could
not afford TO offend the King OF
Heaven to CURRY favor with an earthly
monarch.
The picture before us Is full OF in
str7action How Ike the devil are these
offers of Pharoah to Moses. and they
teach us today the important lesson
many need to learn that compromise
with satan is not allowable IN Chris
tan life We can not afford 70 offend
the King of Heaven TO curry favor
with the devil.
THE old serpent Is wise. indeed. and
Is everrnore offering to the awakened
sinner plan Of compromise lest ne
loose him as his servant The sad
thing about II Is the fact that so MANY
are being deceived by RIM. The
master hand of satan is clearly seen
in the offers made by Pharaoh 10
Moses lie. us study them that we
may safeguard ourselves against COM
promise with the devil
s.Tha frSi offer of C1mprnrnisa is in
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22
ALL EYES TURN
TO ROOSEVELT
SOME REPUBLICANS WILLING TO
COMPROMISE ON COLONEL
FOR PRESIDENT.

Washington, June 21-with the
idea Of either persuading or forcing
the Republicans to nominate Theodore
Roosevelt al their presidential cand1-
date in 1916 the leaders of the Pro-
gressive party are perfecting organiza-
tions in practically all Of the States.
The third party Will he represented
by a candidate in nearly every con-
gressional district next November.
thus giving evidence Of a nation wide
organization expect tn be in q position
10 effect an amalga nation whereby
Mr. Roosevelt will appear in the field
in 1915 as the Progressive Republican
candidate IT is the hope Of some of
the leaders Of both parties that the
two organizations Will amalgamate be
fore the next national election rolls
around Should su~h a Joining of
forces happen Progressive leaders and
some Repu hficans hope that the two
parties will re-unite in naming Mr..
Roosevelt There is no prospect at ali
of an amalg anation IF the two parties
this year
IT is my opinion" said Represen-
fative Hinnebaugh, chairman Of the
Progressive national congressional
committee, that M Roosevelt will
be named as the presidential candidate
in 1915 by the two parties that are
hostile to the party In power. II he
lives Mr.. Roosevelt Is certain to be
named by the Prpgre ssives- The Re
puhficans II they have any expecta
ton of winning. must accept him.
Otherwise there will be a repetition of
the result of 1912, We are going
ahead&with our work NJ organizing and
are making progress. II IS my opfn-
ion, based upon returns that come
r.
stronger numerically in the next con-
gress than we are in the present body.
Things arc coming or way"
Willing to Compromise
Republicans who are willing 90
compromise on Mr. Roosevelt If by so
doing they re assured Of victory. are
hopeful that the former president will
conduct himself this wear so as not n
interfere with the formulation of plans
To name him as the party candidate
two years hence These Republica ns
want the colonel to keep IN the back
ground for the present
There are members of both parties
in Washington who do not take kindly
% the proposed joint nomination in
4afs
a Joint nomination presupposes
corn promise. We are divided on
funda rnentals which cannot be com
promised" said one Republican to-
dav.
To the rank and file OF Republicans
In the house the suggestion OF any
rIan looking to the nomination Of
Roosevelt in 1916 is welcomed Re-
pubiicans would deplore the entrance
Of Mr.. Roosevelt into the field this
wear as a candidate for Office. They
are hopefu' that he will refuse the
nomination for governor of New York.
A good deal of interest has been
excited IN Washington In the fight
started by Amos and Clifford Plnchpt
10 drive George W. Perkins out Of the
Progressive party This warfare :
not approved by the leaders here
Their sympafhieE are with Mr. Perkins
Continued on Second PaSe)
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22
Huerta's Troops Drive Rebels
Back Towards Villas Adj
vancing Arrny-iANIany Dead
and Wounded
Leader Goes To
Front In Haste
.Barron Cuts Forces of Natera
to Pieces and Drives it Back
Toward Terreon in Terror
While Federals Get To-
gether for Conflict

r. I1egrf- fge--sa fr- ~. ,-t, a.,
y1ls "a In f,t asrf 60. - .,s,-,..,'.e
from Iii an,...r.,t......' ~ st,-,.-...-l,.
army met federal .,alf,,,o ,,et-,h of
1Aestasaa ,..N.sf.f.. and tsee{e.S "a
check in its -Yrogress eoa.sw-ira for
the attacg 4pnn thaf e4ty. Message
from the ftont o.ei sstes controlled
b. Villa c}a1n that THE .edr.als we're
badly defeated w.gh terrific. loss 3n
the aehtnk. hut rhpfe IL mo- psM,l1r
re1elcine in Juarsz, - on prsy.e-.s oe-
caSioilA WHEN N5.3a F3}~ heeH enc f.c-
tor
Private fs4assases frr= =af4 he 1,4,e
been ree-@..ea 3r tHaFez "a ehe OBJECT
thai HutftisraA .ua8ef= -,nf477HaBI IT
Geneeai Baron lut tae arn} o. t,ro-
eraf Nstera ~ ipce.s ard were drt-
sng x i,ask eptn Tatreou sH t.ricr
when N}jia advance aoHfh&uuud p"
reInferre Nagrra Ln zha aets,tb Was en-
co44nteYed
II ~aS "a surprise fef moth the
Eperta srn- aHu tht Mia aE tE. bat
Ihe gesiclat- rerNeFea af@ atj ft1c
II tel@ are 1851 ta HaAH Hea Severe
efesA ae" 8" ftf@ ff94t7'
evident fcaat wheu ela hu-c.aljiy
left fer 1ne frost. as-aoFupar Dy
Genera FeHte Aneeze Hs 81 IS 20
aTtlIetS. wHHa 5FFa'z5 i.sH1 sse-d
yaster1aS FROM b.s rat5sn54. "0s5e r.
had seFVeJ ~.
Mi o. in N1meif te eate1h#Ha 2; tlfe
situation W3~a "a EEzSea - y ''i"
hats #sFn@3 t@ atft Hfsf ~ -
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22
P[UNGES TO DEATH
WITH AUTOMOBILE
FROM FERRYbOAT
Body of J. Purcell Dabney, of
Richmond F ound With
Hands on Steering Wheel
and Foot on Brake

When the automobile in which j.
Purcell Dabney. Of Richmond. was car
ried TO his death IN Mattaponi river
was dragged TO the top of the water
yesterday morning at 10 O'Clock, his
body was found erect in the seat. from
which he had been unable to free
himself. his hands still tightly grasp
ing the steering wheel and his right
foot holding thu brake lever down TO
the limit. Young Purcell drove hiF
machine off a ferryboat late Saturday
night at Ayletts. when his brakes re-
fused to WORK.
The tragedy was one Of the saddest
that has occurred in this section in
soue time,
pabney who Was a southern railway
rate clerk we'll known and very poru-
lar left with his friend, Euhank,
clerk with the Seaboerd Air Line, IN
a little runahout to spent sunday IN
King and Queen county with friends
In order TO cross the Mattaponi from
King william u is necessary 70 use
the ferry and At Ayietts there is
steep decliyity leadinE down to the
ferry Epbank got out and walked
down 70 the bank Dahney remained
n the car and with brakes on guided
tha little runahout into the boat
Brakes Fail.
For some reason. though. TIRE brakes
we're found tightly locked when the
machine VAS recovered, they. failed
70 vorK or .lse he momentum NJ he
ear was too great. for II continued
It's run ON 20 the boat and plunged
m the further end % Toe far into
tne dark waters Of the river. despite
the frauttc efforts IT the young man
to control IT.
The accident occurred about 10
O'Clock. and II WIS impossible 10 do
ANYTHING toward the recovery of the
body with only Eubank ana the ferry
man on the scene. Euhank, however.
continued his journey. and bright and
early Yesterday morning returned 70
the ferry Of the accident with search
Ing party whose efforts were soon
rewarded hy the indinE Of tbs young
mans booty pt9meti in has machine just
SIS he went down
Funeral To-day.
The remains were brought to Rich
nrord Yesterday afternoon and taken
Us 3lIleys Undertaking estRblishmen mt.
whore tire remains were prepsred for
burial. The funeral VIII take place
this afternoon at 40 O'Clock from the
Firs, Baptist church and the inter-
rnent will be in HOLLYWOOD.
fNufE lfSRsttS ~ 90 FFN't 49, "+fN 49, q
old. TIE only son q his widowed
mother, Mrs klmetda nahney and they
resided with the family 81 ". N Tur-
min. al sGa North Eleventh street, He
was cousin ~ Judge Torpin Of the
civil court
Young p7bnev wes q nonular mem
her ~ me FRS, Baptist church and
served as an usher there for several
wears Ne was exceedingly popular
among bis associates IN the church. and
1-,,-,,,oa -. Saonrd mare,
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22
MAYORS ORDER
CLOSES H0B0KEN

Hoboken. N j., June 2l.-Mayor
Cooks order of last week closing the
concert halls made. Hoboken a dry
place today. None OF the cafes took
= chance on sidedoor business
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22
COMPARISON and Contrast

theatre June 14th, under the
Virginia offering taken to assist IN
Of the
These
both the meeting
in Of The
the Anti Saloon league and they
followed Mr. Jones,
the Virginia Anti Saloon league from Its
F. j. Richardson who has been of the workers of
Here the let
Antisaloo @ can only tina rod
twnlony &c to Will t and al e
yclre ever
nothing
srned)
sen~lope naind5c erts)
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22

Overs Firth Annual Two-Day Ex-
cursion to the Mountains and Luray
raTernA July 2s-1A.
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22

tcontinuea on second PAGE,
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22
The Devils Offer.

Taking as an example the compro~
misses made TO Moses by Pharaoh, ne
went into a discussion Of those conf
promises offered the people Of today.
Among these he brought out very
strongly the compromises offered by
the devil to those who were weak
in deciding the stand To take in the
Continued on Second Pase)
The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-06-22

Continued on Second Pase)
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-04-13
MORGAN B. HALE
Died Sunday After Attack of Paraly-
sis-Funeral Tuesday Morning.

Morgan B. Hale. aged II years,
died at his home on Locust avenue
this city, Sunday about noon. Par
alysis caused his death. He former
ly resided at Halleck and came to this
city last fall.
Mr.. Hale served as a soldier In the
Civil war. He was a member Of
Company c. Fourteenth West vir-
ginia Infantry.
a wife and several children sur
'vive, The children are: e. N. Hale,
of Watson; E. E. Hale, of Fairmont. a
letter carrier; o. c. Hale. at home:
w. l.. Hale, postal clerk. residing
at Clarksburg; Fl. II. Hale. OF Port
Arthur, Tex; W. II. Hale, OF Hall
leck;, ]. I. Hale. of Qpinnimont. Tex;
Mrs. Lulu Stiles. of Morgantown;
Mrs. Mollie Stiles. Of Laurel Point:
Miss Virgean Hale, Normal school
student.
Tie deceased was highly respect
ed resident and many friends will re-
gret to learn of his death. The fu-
neral will take place at IIalleck Tues
day morning at II o'clock with I'm
dertaker Musgraye in charge of the
burial.
Short funeral services will be held
at the residence, No. 404 Locust ave-
nue.. at 1880 o'clock this evening by
Rev. H. c. Howard over the remains
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-04-13
. NOTICE 10 STOCKHOLDERS &c Il: !

81 ll2HNAlVt - u y - wv ~ ~ "
gTleAnnpal Meeting of the stocless
holders o., the Fairmont Gas Com,
pany is hereby called to. be held at
the Office OF the company, room No.
2o4 Watson building, in the CitySofs
Fairmont, West Virginia. on Monday
the 9TH day of May. 1914, at IL
O'Clock A. NJ, for the purpose ofsre:
eeiying the annual report, tllcSclcc.5
ton of Board of Directors to serve
for the ensuing year or until their
successors are elected. and for the
transaction of any other business
properly coming before said annual
stockholders meeting.
Tile transfer books will be closed
at IL o'clock noon on Saturday, April
25th, and re-opcncd at 10 O'Clock A.
NJ, OH Tuesday, May 5th. a
F. B. PRYOR, Secretary.
April lS, 20, 81.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-04-13
Chapter To Mcet.

The ROBBERS E.. Lee chapter of the
U. DEC. will meet, at the residen CO
OF Mrs. E. c. Frame on Main street
Tuesday evening tatAeight o'clock. 1t
Is desired that all the members be
present as Shiloh day viii be ,observ.
ed and business OF importance will
be. transacted.
VIM, Fraley McCafferty left Satur-
day night for Parkersburg where he
las accepted a position on the Park
ersburg Dispatch News. Mrs. Mccall.
ierty viii join liim there probably
the latter part Of this week.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-04-13
LUKE McLUKE SAYS.

When man quits kissing his wife
because of his belief in germs, you
can bet that the germ lives in flat
ut the other end of town and has
blonde hair.
Why is It that, a woman can hoist
q bracelet up, on her forearm, and 1t
viii stay there AT day, and that II d
man hoists his ,cnfls to wash his
hands they will dip into the water II
about three seconds? - - :"
The henpecked man who has To
hold the baby Willie mamma washes
the dishes doesn't need all the SYM
patty. There's the poor dub who
hasn't any children and whose wife
makes him water the gold fish, feed
the canary and launder the poodle
while she peroxides 71-count EN-
Il hairs left in her crowning beauty.
1t doesn't matter how nicely a wo-
man is dressed, you can always get
her goat by staring at her shoes.
a princess regards matrimony
much as a small boy regards an alarm
clock. They both want to find out
what makes the durn thing tick.
a man never believes that lie has
misjudgcd his enemy until he wakes
up In the hospital and wonders why
they have tied all the sheets around
his head.
Any old grandmother believes that
II YOU will give her tin pie plate
filled with hot grease and flannel
rag she can make all the trained