Atlanta Georgian., 1914-02-22

~ ItQuAltH W. ttNA'f N't't'h
70 bring me right out here
The drop Of q nickel on n plush sofs
Is sufficient You know It's always
human nature 10 desire 70 DO that
which we are least qualified to do
hence my dashing out here trying
to impress you with speech.
There are so many people trying
20 tell us how 10 i've 1t IS absurd;
they live themselves-snd that Is
all they can possibly do, and mind
their own business.
This is getting 10 be bum coun-
try. anyway. I'm going TO get out
not that the country cares rap
but the men running It are
boobs. ] met three or four com
mittees in Washington the other
dav. One committee had a South
American toucan-one Of those
birds with long BIZ! with tlue and
red and green colorlng on It, and
they wanted to have me arrested
for painting the bill OF this bird
Now. how are such people capable
OF running the country when they
don't know a South American par
rot? It can't be done, ladies and
gentlemen.
offer this as an excuse for my
inability to make speech on the
income tax law. II Involves differ
ential calisthenics combined with
algebraic equations. and has so
filled my mind that I can think OF
nothing else You must carry ia
your mind first that a man must
earn $1,000 a year in order to be
taxable. Up to that point the Gov
ernment thinks him an alright
person-but at 5000 he begins to
show signs OF danger TO the COM
munity ut large.
The income tax law was gotten
up by the Democrats 10 annoy the
Republicans This is how It stands
the man who earns $4,000 has TO
pay oue-eighth OF one-tenth of one
sixteenth OF what he had before he
started, previous to paying his
laundry bill, which is exactly what
his employer must have forwarded
TO the Government. MY friends. I'm
sure you see how clear that lt2
Now. II the same man earns
$4,000 year and is married to
blonde and they have one child, the
Government realizes that It costs
something to keep this wife
blonde. year in and year out, and
they make an exception and a re-
duction for that They also say. in
their graciousness, that one child Is
liable TO happen 10 any married
couple; 40 they make reduction
for that. which is only fair and Just
but IL he has second child
ahl-ah! this is getting serious,
isn't It, SO he has TO pay extra for
that.
Now, we figure Il that the same
man with the blonde wife and nine
children would owe the Government
In excess Of the two thousand dol.
lars, S29S The words of far
reaching Justice will be found on
page 1000, volume As. that where.
as. II this man IS hereft OF wife and
children the Government owes him
Sc.
I'm going 10 run for President OF
the United States in 1916, You
will be glad 20 learn that Theodore
Roosevelt will run with me. It
happened this way: He met me on
the street and he said
lchee Koo! ! understand you're
going 10 run for President Of the
United States" and said, Yes.
! am"
He said: Well, that settles II. or
course. II you're going to run
shall not think OF running"
Then / said, For Heavens sake,
Colonel. don't feel that way about
Il. II you feel that way about It,
why not be Vice President with
meT'
And he said, IAN right, I will II
Bryan has no objections"
And / would Ike to take this op-
portunity, ladies' and gentlemen Of
recommending the Colonel and my
self for your consideration and for
your votes. ! know the Colonel
wouldn't Ike this he is so modest
and retiring. I'm sure we would
make n great pair-I sing funny
songs and the Colonel goes hunting
a lot He IS great on hunting. I've
often wondered Il the family al