davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-18
Luke McLuke
(From Cincinnati EnquIrer.)

When a man Is sick he is q baby.
When his wife is sick he is a crouch.
II Father Is home when a tramp
calls and bulls for ONE old clothes,
Father will give him a suit a pair of
shoes, some underwear and a new
shirt. But II Mother gives a tramp n
of Fathers old socks Father wants a
divorce.
The only difference between the
girls Of today and the girls Of IS
years ago is that the latter hoisted
them on rainy days only.
A woman will answer the rear door
when she is atttred in a ragged XII
mono and a torn midwest. But she
won't answer the front door until she
has dolled up a little.
You can't make a woman believe It
is wrong to gamble as long as her
husband quits winner.
Some things never wear out. The
styles in woman's hats change every
ten minutes, but they. can't pass a wo-
man who has an ostrich feather, a
wide piece Of ribbon, a pair Of scissors
ard a needle and thread. Il
A man never realizes how strong
thread is until he sees a pair of 49,
inch hips squeezed into a 36.inch
skirt.
It isn't good policy to announce that
you love your enemies. people won't
believe you, anyway, and they would
think you were a sissy to make q
crack like that.
There should be a law prohibiting
any one but a back driver from wear
ing a tall hat. a. hack driver doesn't
care how he looks. NNs
q What. has become Of the old.fashion=
cd man who believed that any, one
Who had twosnecties wasSaSdude?
Anysred.heSded girl into
mirror heantSs
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-18
WHO'S WHO IN III WAR.
won der eoltz.l

won der eoltz.)
Field Marshal holman Won der
Golt2, the German governor Of the oc-
cupied territory in Belgium, Is u
a old, and has long borne the rep
utation Of being n Of the ablest or
ganizers and strategists in military
history. His fame was somewhat tar
pishel in the Balkan war, when the
Turks, who had been train by Won der
Goltz along his own special lines, wore
inglorlously defeated by the Balkan
allies. Although "thc worst whipped
army in history" was the creation OF
Goltz pasha-as he was known In Tur-
.key-he did not lose favor in Ger
many, where it was generally held
that the poor quality Of the raw ma
terial was responsible for the down.
fall OF Turkish arms, and that tho
Moslem hordes would have made a
much worse showing except o their
training by the distinguished German
military organizer. For more than
fifty years Won der Goltz has been
studying the art Of warfare, and writ
ing books about military organization
and tactics. Besides reorganizing tho
Turkish army. Won der Goltz was also
in charge Of the arrangements for tho
protection of East Prussia against a
possible Russian invasion. Many OF
the strategic plans which are nov
being given the supreme test OF bat
tic were originated by Won der Goltz.
Too old to lead an arm at the front,
the field marshal was placed in charge
OF the Belgian army Of occupation.
Two or three weeks ago it was report.
ed that he had been seriously wound
ed in the face while visiting tho
trenches. Won der Goltz's reputation
as the supreme tactical genius of mod
ern warfare, furnished by the Balkan
war, is now being put to a test which
will win for him adulation or utter
condemnation.
H.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-18
-pEMocRAcYs wET NURSE.

Norman E. Mack, the Buffalo Dem
ocratic leader, wants the party to be
progressive enough to bury Free
Trade with Free Silver and recognize
the wisdom Of the principle Of protec.
ton to American industries.
Norman doesn't seem to know 1t,
but the interment ought to include tho
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-18
SHALL THE HIRED GIRL
EAT WITH THE FAMILY

n On IN TFE MI OHENs
In the December American Nigga
zine George Fitch, the Illinois humor.
tsts writes an amusing article about
the servant question in small towns.
The title OF his article is, ''The Serv-
ant Question in Homeburg." He says
that in Homeburg only n family,
That Of mrs. Singer, has any servants.
The rest have hired girls. On the
question as to whether the hired girl
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-18
a Prediction.

%one.fourth of the Democratic major.
ity In the House comes from Kansas;
the last place on earth that Democrat
&c majorities come from-and proba-
bly, the last place, sure enough.-St.
Louis Globe.Democrat.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-18

says always seems fresh and glisten-
ing to him, no matter how old it gets.
1t is about two solemn looking gentle
men who we're riding together in o
railway carriage. One gentleman said
to the other: is your wife entertain
ing this summer"
Whereupon the second gentleman
replied, mot very"
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-18
PLACING THE BLAME.

Dean Swift wa the first to term a
young woman a chicken, or, rather,
he spoke of a mature woman as no
chicken, SO Luke McLuke has right
substantial MISUNDERSTANDING
Sentinel.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-18
State Editors

Norman E. Mack's conversion to
the protective principle has naturally
drawn a great many indignant pro-
tests from the brethren of the DEM
ocratlc press, but he seems to be able
to not only hold his own, but to re.
tort to their confusion by disinterring
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-18
Song and Story
Doubtful Prospect.

Doubtful ProsPect.
$50 your daughter married that
handsome young poet who stopped
with you last summer, Farmer Hay
rick?"
"Yas, she married him."
"And she's going to be very happy
Of course?" Il
WALL / dunno. Mandy's got a pow
erful appetite."-Judge. y
Enough said.
George AIDE tells EasbtorYwhichEhe
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-18
A Good Guess.

SIS the editor in?" asked the man
with the unbarbered hair and the
shiny coat, as he tished a roll Of pa:
per from his pocket.
"No," replied the office boy, che
has just gone out"
'sThis is the third time | have call
ed to see him." growled the caller,
land each time you have told me that
he has just gone out. WHAT'S the ex-
PLANTATION"
II don't know" answered the office
boy, shut guess he must have been
born under q lucky star."-Lippin-
colts.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-18
Honorable Bill Bryan.

There will be no hope of Democratic
progress until the Democratic party
escapes from this Nebraska wet nurse
and learns to walk alone.-Connells-
vile Courier.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-18
Just Smiles

HEARTS THAT BEAT AS ONE.
Jim Harris and Harry Palmer wore
hunting one night this week and freed
u wildcat in the bluff. Jim said 1t
looked like rain and he thought he
mad better go home and not take time
10 catch the "cat," Harry said he
dldn't know as much about hunting
an jim, SO he came home, too.-Arkan'
6 Sentinel,
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-18
NOW BE eooD.

Some of our readers who are not
subscribers knock on The Times"
because it doesn't gush and spill over
about every little thing that happens,
What do you expect for $3.50 a year?
Wait till you die and they'll engraye
1t on your headstone for a dollar =
word.-Burchard (Neh) Times.
The OKLAHOMA ARIsTocRAcY.
Bertha Benton and Sky OF Canton.
ment have separted.
Oscar Bull Bear went to Clinton to
new house.
STU 10 lsso1 9Iq eAt5 o. 1eeq On s!asnl
John otterby and his wife WOLF Wo'
man were down from Deer Creek Wis
iting their colony friends.
stone Hammer Creep Bear and his
wife Fannie Creeping Bear have gone
to Pawnce Agency to live.
Black Bird Washeel has been select
co as prompter and manager by Two
Babies and his family Of Hilda Keith
and Frank Old Bear weddding.-okla'
homa 0lahoman.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1914-05-18
DIR. RANKIN
HEARD HERE


Sunday morning at the Methodist
church a fair sized crowd heard a
splendid sermon by one of the most
noted men OF that church in the south.
west, DR.. George c. Rankin Of Dallas,
who took as ais subject "The Father
hood Of God as Taught by Jesus
Christ"
Or. Rankin discussed his subject
deeply and clearly, taking up the con-
ception Of the Diety as shown by the
Old Testament and as held by the an
cient people. and showing how thor
oughly unsatisfactory it was to the de
sire Of all In comparison he depict
ed Christ, the helper and sympathizer
of man and showed how Christ was the
expression OF the real God
At the evening service Mr.. King Of
Memphis. a layman, filled the pulpit
in the absence Of Rev. c s. Walker.
who was in Ryan. Okla. where he
preached the commencement sermon
Of the Ryan high school Mr. King
spoke in the morning at Mangnm and
came to Chickasha for the evening ser.
vice He returned this morning tc
Oklahoma City, where he is attending
the Methodist conference.
On next Sunday. Or, DuBose ofAt
lanta, Ca, VIII fill the Methodist pull
pit. DR. DuBose is favorably spoken
Of as the next bishop IL the event an
other bishop is elected at this session
Of the Methodist general conference
at Oklahoma City.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1914-05-18
WIDOW OF
ROSENTHAL
Is WITNESS
BY United Press.

BY United Press.
New York, May 1S.The widow Of
Herman Rosenthal, the murdered gam
bier, stared into the eyes OF Charles
Becker today as she detailed the asso-
citations between her husband and the
police lieutenant.
She told Of Becker's raids on the
gambling house and how, waen she
protested, Becker said, 1T was either
Herman or me-
IF anything happens to me want
you to kin squalling Rosey," Becker
told Charles Pitt, his press agent and
former bosom friend, according to
testimony that was brought out at the
trial today.
Whitman reported that he refused
an offer OF Becker's counsel to plead
guilty to charge less than first de-
gree murder.
Pitt said that Becker told him to
get an alibi for him on the night of
the murder. "You will know why to-
morrow" Becker said, according to the
testimony.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1914-05-18
Large Shipment Of
Farm Machinery

Due to arrive in Chickasha on Fri
day, May %, over the Rock Island, is
one Of the largest shipments of heavy
agricultural machinery ever made. It
is for distribution among the farmers
Of the southwest and special stops are
made enroute that exhibitions of the
machinery may be made to the farm
ers In this section stops will be
made at Union City. Chickasha, Rush
Springs, NARROW, Comanche, Waurika,
and Ryan. The special will consist OF
several cars with an average Of $4,000
worth of machinery on each car, The
stop at Chickasha viii probably be in
the morning.
The shipment is not stock ship
ment, as every one Of the machines
has been sold to farmers ia the south
west. Within a very few meeks all
Of the machines will be at work. A
daylight run viii be made in order to
give farmers and others an opportun-
ity Of being at the station to See the
special as It goes through. Interest
ing literature and souvenirs will be
distributed at all stops The train is
a spectacle well worth witnessing for
every one interested in farming and
big power farming machines Of which
the shipment is made up.
The shipment is Indicative Of the
prospects for bumper grain crops in
the southwest this year and is the first
OF a number to get under way. Farm
ers at all points are even now anx-
iously awaiting their threshing and
power farming outfits. and Just as fast
as the machines can be unloaded they
will be hauled away to help with tn,
work Of caring for one of the biggest
grain crops the southwest has ever
known
Farmers are using more and better
machinery each SEASON .snd as A.,
suit more acres are cultivated ant
mo.e bushels per acre and better
grains produced,
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1914-05-18
RAINFALL
RECORD Is
GROWING

While official figures are not avail
able for preceding years, it is probable
that the rain-maker in this vicinity has
already run his batting average above
the normal for the first yart Of the
year.
Up to today the total rainfall for
the year 1914 in this section. according
to the government record, is 9.S7
inches. This includes 2.64 inches for
the present month.
For January only trace" Of moist
nre was reported, while for February
the record was very little better, the
total precipitation being only Z of an
inch. For March the total was 1.94
inches and April closed with 359
inches of moisture to her credit.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1914-05-18
BY United Press.

~ tHlltu TItSS.
Sandwich, England, May 1S.-The
eyes Of the world OF sport in general.
and the world Of golf in particular,
were centered today on the historic
links here, when play commenced for
the British amateur golf champion
ship. This years entry broke all rec
ords more than 200 competitors hay-
ing sent in their names and announc-
Ell their intention OF defending the title
against Francis Ouimet, the American
champion, and other American cracks
The American competitors included
jerome D. Travers, last years United
States champion, Fred Herreshoff, A.
C. Lockwood, (ouimet's friend and
counsellor), and Charles "Chick"
Evans of Chicago, but well known as
these players are on the English links,
the star performer was easily young
Ouimet, who gained such a sensational
victory over the English professionals,
Vardon and Ray. in the American open
Championship at Brooklyne Mass, last
fall.
Great crowds followed the young
Bostonan. who laughingIy pointed out
that he was no longer the boy won
DER as he celebrated his 21st BIRTH
day ten days ago. II don't know that
am wonder at all, he said to the
United Press before starting on the
morning round, but | am going ia
try my best to win. like the English
courses and they suit me very we'll
SO expect to render a good account o.
myself II is true that have not been
playing in top form in my practice
games but / have got into my stride
pretty we'll. Trayers, Hereshoff and
Chick" Evans have the advantage
over me in experience OF English links
SO am not going 70 shout about ms
own chances. Nervous? Not bit
Ouimet will have the pull in the mat
ter Of nerves, for fully half OF the En-
glish competitors have not the slight
est chance OF success and if draw
against the cracks would be morally
beaten before they started. The othei
American competitors are cheerfu
and confident, and see a pronitioui
omen in the fact that the last time the
championship was played at Sandwich
w j. Travers won for America, start
ling the English golfing world by de
feating Edward Blackwell. The En-
lsh cracks include Harold Hilton, Johl
Ball. Edward Blackwell, II. D. Gille
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1914-05-18
ROBERTSON
TO SPEAK
TONIC II I

Tonight Al o'clock at the court
house. Judge j. b a. Robertson, cam
didate tor the Democratic nomination
for governor viii address the voters
of the county in an open meeting 70
which all are Invited
Judge Robertson arrived this after
noon from Chandler and after Drief
rest at his hotel deliyered an address
from an impromptu stage erected az
the corner Of Chickasha avenue and
Third street He was greeted in the
afternoon speech BY a fair sized crowd
that listened atentiveIy through bis
speech.
Judge Robertson will leave tomor-
row for Gushing. and viii spend the
remainder Of the week in that district.
He stated that his route for the week
had not been completed as yet but
that it would probably be through the
northeast part Of the state.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1914-05-18
Rx United press.

by United Press.
Tulsa okla. May 1S.-According to
word received here this morning a
pitched battle is III progress on a farm
three miles south OF this city between
posse and Douglass Rowe, negro
porter. who robbed a local drug store
It is claimed that the negro secured
$500 from the store He made his es-
cape and officers started in pursuit All
soon as the robbery was reported to
them It was learned that Rowe had
headed south and, reinforced by a
posse, as the negro was know to be
armed. the officars started in that di-
rection. overtaking the fleeing man
and opening fire after he refused to
surrender.
From a safe point Rowe returned the
fire OF the posse. Ed Rice, detective,
was probably fatally injured
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1914-05-18
After Lively Debate Of Over Hour
Methodist General Conference
Votes to Recommit the
Vanderbilt Matter
OPPOSING FORCES
GETTING TOGETHER
Vote Almost Unanimous on Motion
to Refer to Committee Again
Spirit Of Both Reports
to Be Accepted
Special to the Daily Express.

Special to the Daily Express.
Oklahoma City. May 1S.--By prac-
tically unanimous vote this morning
the Methodist conference decided to
recommit the Vanderbilt university
matter to the original committee, with
Instructions to bring in a report en-
boGying the dominant features con
tanned in the majority and minority
reports as originally presented.
The indications now are that when
the question comes up again Tuesday
morning compromise report, accept
able to both sides, will be adopted. In
addition to embodying the main fea-
lures of the majority report as adopt
ed last week, it is likely that it will
be provided that the general ednca-
tlon board Of the church continue as
in the past to confirm the appointment
Of members OF the governing board OF
the university. In the event that the
latter will not consent to such con
firration 1t will be provided that the
board Of education shall report back
to a special committee which shall
further test the rights Of the church
In the Tennessee courts.
Interest was intense when the uni
versity question was again taken up
by the conference this morning. The
first motion to reconsider last weeks
action brought forth stubborn resist
ance but after an hours discussion
both sides showed conciliatory dispo-
stion and at the close OF the debate
almost complete harmony reigned.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1914-05-18
uNiTARIANs MEET.

BY United Press.
Chicago, May 1S.-With several hun
dred delegates gathered from all parts
Of the middle west and central west
in attendance, the sixty-second annual
meeting Of the Western Unitarian con-
ference opened at Memorial chapel OF
the First Unitarian society Of Chicago
today, for a three days session. "A
Modern Interpretation Of Religion" Is
the general subject chosen for discus
sion and dozen speakers will touch
upon various aspects OF this subject
as seen by the Unitarians Women
figure largely in the program. which
consists of business meetings, din
ner, several forums and session OF
the Womans Alliance.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1914-05-18

The elimination OF Huerta and what
ever is the real object Of the second
takngof Vera Cruz and whatever hap
pens, this port will be held Indefinite
" by the United States as the base pr
such operations as may be necessary
to bring the republic Of Mexico into a
state that can be approved by the
Washington government That is why
no part Of the navy proceeded to Tam
pico when the conquest Of Vera Cruz
was completed. 1t had been supposed
that the United States intended TO-
blockade all Mexican ports and elm
mate Eluerta by cutting off his sup
plies and revenue. But Fluerta Is to
be eliminated by a much quicker pro
cess. Either he will agree to get out
al once and mediate through Argen
tine. Brazil and Chill, or troops pro
ceeding from Vera Cruz will put him
out
Whichever Of these two courses be-
comes an eyentnality, the men Of the
American forces realize they are infor
long stay IN Mexico and are making
their preparations accordingly They
have settled down for a certain amount
OF watchful waiting -wetful wading
as the marines call IT, II mediation
is accepted, the process viii be a SLOW
one. II actual invasion Of the capital
is decided upon to eliminate Huerta,
that too Will be slow process, neces-
stating the arrival OF more troops, ar
tillery and locomotives It is believed.
therefore, that all that can be expect
ed in the near future is the occupation
and government of Vera Cruz, with
the possible extension of the American
outposts about the port
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1914-05-18
LANDHoLDER GOES TO TRIAL.
BY United Press.

BY United Press.
Warsaw, Russia Poland, May 49,
NJ. Won Disping, a prominent Russian
landholder, was placed on trial to.
day for the Murder of Prince Drucki
Lubecki, one of the wealthest noble
men in Poland. Bisping had forged
six drafts each for $4,000 with the
princes name and hoped to cash them
after he killed him. Bisping shot ana
killed the prince in the latter's park
at Teresini in June, 1912 Ninety
witnesses have been summoned.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1914-05-18
BY BERNARD RUcKER
tWritten for the United Press)
VIII Hold Vera Cruz.

Vera Cruz. May i-tBy MALL
With the occupation OF Vera Cruz
complete and the Gown turned ofer to
Brig Gen. Funston. one Of two altern-
atives confronts the American forces
there Either Huerta viii agree to get
out and the troops viii supervise con
stintional election that will choose a
president Of Mexico satisfactory 10 the
administration at Washington, or the
ANGLICAN army viii proceed 20 MeNi-
co/cNy and force llneria OUT putting
bl his place some man acceptable to
President Wilson,
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1914-05-18
ENGLISH DISCUSS
CITY PLANNING
By United Press.

By United Press.
London, May 18.-For the purpose
of exchanging knowledge on questions
of national health and social condi-
tons, delegates from all British do
minions beyond the sea" met here to-
day with representatives of the Brit
ish Isles in general conference at the
Imperial institute. This conference,
which will continue in session for three
days, is to be divided into two main
sections, to discuss housing and town
planning, and the care OF child life
committees will formulate reports on
garden cities and suburbs, workmens
houses and model dwellings, infancy
and health, the school child, and the
child as wage Garner.
An interesting exhibition is being
held in conjunction with the confer
ence to illustrate the subjects under
discussion, at which are shown mod
els, plans and diagrams of real indus
trial towns. clothing, system Of diet,
plans Of schools, safety appliances,
health statistics. kindergartens and
nurseries. Lord Robert Cecil presid-
ed at the opening session OF the CON
fence, and the Craftsmanship Of later
sessions win be taken in turn by Sir
Edward Cook Prof Michaal Gadler
and Henry Vivian.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1914-05-18
KIDNAPERS
Are ACTIVE
By United Press.

BY United Press.
New York. May 1S.- Niya Mutna,
keeper OF the kidnapped child, two men
who extorted Sl26 from the childs
father, and two men who returned the
hoy were arralgned today on the
charge Of kidnapping five years old Joe
Cumina from his home on April 2s,
Ellen Mckee, aged -, stenogra-
pher, has been missing since saturday
when she Went to see parade A note.
not IN her handwriting, but signed with
Sher name. was delivered to her par
ents, who believe that the girl Was
kidnapped. a SIX year oid Finnish boy
Is also missing.