davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28


the present democratic administration
of public affairs. the only thing to
come down has been the temperature.
Lincoln Journal: Isn't it funny that
men will break their necks for pub.
lie Office which pays less than they
could earn working in a store?
Kansas City Journal, General
Coxey has selected April l6 as the day
Apparently he isn't afraid that the
number, Of unemployed will be any
less under democratic rule by that
time.
Des Moines Capital: Much printed
matter is being issued by the federal
treasury department for the purpose of
explaining the income tax law. Now
If some means can be devised for in.
terpreting the explanations the hum,
BILE citizen may be able in time to
comprehend just what he is required
to do.
Davenport Times: 1t would appear
that the only kind of authority that the
, average Mexican will respect Is the
authority of the big stick variety. And
yet one ought not to criticise Wilson
too harshly. What man of experience
is there in the whole country, who, il
the responsibility were his, would un
dertake Intervention?
Watchful waiting may win out In
the end but there is little on which to
base the hope. Yet let us hope awhile
longer.
Keosauqua Republican: H. c.
Chambers, aged IS, who for thirty-five
years was in the employ of the Iowa
National bank at Ottumwa, and since
1902 its cashier, dropped dead at his
home while talking to a member of the
household. He had just returned from
Des Moines, where he was called to at
tend the funeral of his mother-in-law
He was man of high character and
highly respected by all his acquaint
ances.
Burlington Post: John w. Rowley
has properly challenged Gov. Clarke tc
the discussion of state affairs Mr.
Rowley seeks the republican nomina
llOu lOT SOVeIuOI duu HO'. CAoI he
would like to be renominated. Mr.
Rowley proposes the discussion take
place in the newspapers; the two TAX
ing turns, week about. While such a
discussion is doubtless the last thing
Gov Clarke would willingly ask for
we do not see how he can decline the
challenge without causing unfavorable
comment. If the affairs of the state
are in good and satisfactory condi
ton. if the conduct of the public affairs
at the state house will stand the lime
light. then he has nothing to fear. II
on the contrary, a public discussion
should reveal to the taxpayers condi
! ton that is wasteful, negligent ant
alarming, then the public cannot b.
placed in possession Of all the facts
too quickly for their own protection.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28
a Field For Them

Sometimes it is good thing to
talk bad bill to DEATH"
Then who says we don't need
women in the senate"
The Lesser Evil.
"At the battle of Cedar Creek" said
the veteran captain of a company in
one of Virginia's bravest regiments,
my company which generally wasn't
afraid of the arch fiend himself. grew
demoralized and panic stricken. Des-
pite all my efforts. they broke and
started pell-mell for the rear.
"As one fellow, whom knew was as
fearless as lion, dashed by me,
drew my revolver and cried:
"'Halt, and return to your place! II
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28

In 1910 the total number of strikers
in Russia was $4,000. The number
rose to 100000 in 1911 and $4,000
in 1912
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28

After reading the instructions on
the income tax blank one is convinced
that the man who wrote them is able
to keep secret
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28

Bronchitis is the most fatal disease
in England: next comes consumption,
and then heart disease, pneumonia
and scarlatina.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28

The Klondike fields, which are in
Yukon territory, Dominion Of Canada
have produced nearly $125, 100000.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28

Electrical machinery worth more
than twenty-three million dollars was
exported from the United States last
year
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28
Press Comment

Oskaloosa Herald: If Grants army
had been faced to the rear it never
would have gone up Mission Ridge.
Whenever you start anything finish
the Job.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28

Australian pedigreed cows pure
bred pigs and white leghorn chickens
are being imported into the Philip
pines. s...z ,..s.. .. .- ..r.-r
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28

Berlin has a store where the pic
lures of women who wish to become
brides are displayeod.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28
A Few Laughs

On the Right Track.
My boy may yet be president
For he is winning fame
At golf, which we all know to be
The presidential game.
And he is very truthful, too,
Like little George of yore.
When he plays golf he never tries
To fib about his score.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28

Bucklen's Arnica SaIve.
Cured Ben Pool Of Threet. Ala, after
being dragged over a gravel road bed
Soothing, healing and antiseptic, Csc.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28
Modern Percocity.

Modern Percocity.
"Why are you chopping down that
hickory tree, son?'
dad 49,.
Then you ought to select cherry
tree"
Hickory is better for my purpose.
/ want to make big stick out of it."
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28
To What Base Uses.

glanced across the baseball page
And saw that Mrs. Blank
Would give tea-O hully gee!-
To Mrs. Hankypank. -.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28
Just So.

Just So.
'You mustn't be so modest. The
other candidate doesn't hesitate to
talk about himself"
II see. Follow the doctrine, an for
an l."
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28
Immediately Interested.

Here or hereabouts,' said the guide
"is the spot where Washington threw
that dollar across the Potomac"
81 wonder if that dollar was evel
found" said the thrifty tourist. al
might be worth while to look around
eh?" .....r
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28
1you don't / will shoot!
Shoot and be hanged he replied,
never slackening his pace. What's
one bullet to a basketful!'"
ALBA.

The official road map as adopted by
the state highway commission of Mon
roe county was received yesterday and
is now on exhibition in the county
auditors Office.
Washington's birthday was celebrat-
ed by the Abba high school. The G..
A. r. participated in the exercises
which consisted of an address by L..
r Richmond and Rev. Cunningham
and an Grafton by Forrest Carhart the
high school orator. The music by
Misses Williams and Heisernan and
the school was well rendered and en-.
joyed by all. .
J. Fl. Balm and family expect to
leave to morrow for Minnesota where
they expect to make their home.
James Ward of Lovilia was an Abba
visitor yesterday.
Stephen Carr Of Melrose was in AL.
bia on business yesterday. ~
Group and Cough Remedy. e."
DR.. Kings New Discovery gives almost
instant relief--f1rst dose helps. best
remedy for coughs, colds and lung
trouble, soc and S100.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28

Burlington Hawk-Eye: 1t must be &
relief to Huerta to have part Of the
obligations of the civilized world trans
ferred from his shoulders to Villas.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28

Sioux City Tribune: Villa is reported
to be quite a gambler on the ponies at
the Juarez tracks, 1t is hoped no
bookmaker will furnish another inter
national crisis by giving the Mexican
leader a wrong tip.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28
Goino Too Far.

-. Going Too Far.
Here is a new anecdote," remark
ed the sub-editor of the comic weekly.
"Indeed?" responded his chief. And
what INSCRIPTIONS person tried to
work that of on us?"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28
Fairly Truthful.

you say your boy Is no George
Washington %
mo; but at the same time he's no
polar explorer, eyether. He strikes q
fair average"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28

Copyright. 1912. by the Associated
Literary Press) a
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28
Daddy sBedtilne
O.. The Jolly
)IOV Keeper and the
Gloomy Gnu.
The Gnu Said He War
Bored.

is gloomy animal
who had all
III he belonged moody nature
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28
Stick to Trees,

Even truthful boys may catch it
And receive a dreadful jar
When they try the little Ratchet
On the family motor car.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28

ST Louis Globe-Democrat: Under
the present democratic administration
of public affairs. the only thing to
come down has been the temperature.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28

l took another hurried peep b
And saw that some stage dame
Had won divorce; with coin, of course
Also her maiden name.
The chitchat Of society,
The scandals Of the stage.
It's pretty tough to see such stuff
Upon the baseball page
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28

Lincoln Journal: Isn't it funny that
men will break their necks for a pub.
lie Office which pays less than they
could earn working in a store?
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-28

Kansas City Journal: Genera
Coxey has selected April l6 as the day
to start with his army to Washington
Apparently he isn't afraid that the
number Of unemployed will be any
less under democratic rule by thai
time.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24
20 ), ,na caru ciuh.

"A little girl sitting next me IN
church vas coughing. said Mrs. Jones
AZ the card club. SO l whispered 10
her mother for permission 10 alp her
4 eough drop. The child held II IN
her mouth a moment and then swal
lowed II. !"
Would you kindly give her an.
OtherT the mother whispered
I'm sorry. but had only the enc.
! answered.
Coming out Of church | felt in my
pocket and Vas horrified 10 fish out
the cough drop. You ace. had had
a cough drop and a button In my
pocket
And what did you dor choruscd
the women At the table, did you tell
her motherg"
'-No. didn't. ! was mad. u was
a very unusual button from my new
suit"
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24
FOR l,shInn. aurnInn skins.

Battle freely the affected surface
with cuticura Soap and hot water.
Dry withou, irritation and apply Cuti.
cura Ointment with finger or hand.
This treatment affords immediate re
lief. permits rest and sleep and points
to speedy healment In most cases OF
eczemas, rashea. itshiugs and irrita.
tons Of the skin and scalp of infants,
children and adults. Free sample each
with s2-p. Skin Book II you wish Ad-
dress postcard: Cutieura. Dept. X.
Boston. Sold everywhere.-AdV.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24
Beyond Him.

A party of New Workers were hunt
ing in the 'piney woods" OF Georgia
and had as an attendant an old negro
whose fondness for big words is char
Rcteristic of the race. One of the
hunters, knowing the old Africans
bent, remarked to him; Uncle Nose
the indeRtations in terra firma in this
locality render travelling in vehicu,
lar conveyance without springs de
cidedIy Objectionable and painful an
Rtomically. Don't you think so?"
Uncle Nose scratched his left ear
a moment and replied, with a slow
shake of his woolly head: "Mistaf
Gawge, the exuberance OBJ yoh words
am beyon' nah jurydietion"
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24
A LARGE Family.

A story is told of political candi
date who. after kissing and prassing
an assortment of eleven children. and
marveling much at their ressmb 'ance
: a matronly lady who b,ushed the
while, then requested that she should
tell her husband that Mr.. SO-and-So
had called
Alas, sir, have no husband"
But these children. madam?-you
surely are not a widow"
Fl feared you were mistaken, sir.
Ehen you FIRST came up. These are
Aot my children-this is an orphan
asylum
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24

the one behind keeps me from get
ting rheumatism In my back. They
are a great protection against the
Weather
You've got letters printed there
said the boy, peering around in front
OF his companion. what do they
spell? You know l haven't learned
to read yet"
"Merry Christmas to Everybody "
said Santa Claus. Il have the words
printed there SO that everybody can
see them: and II / miss wishing any
body a merry Christmas. he'll know
l meant it just the same"
They walked on now in silence for
Little Billee was beginning TO feel at
most too tired TO talk. and Santa Claus
seemed to b thinking OF something
else. Finally, however, the iittle fel
| low spoke.
81 guess I'd like to go home now,
| Mr.. Santa Claus" he said. I'm tired
and I'm afraid my mamma will be
wondering where I've gone to-"
That's so. my 1.-THE man" said
Santa Claus. stopping short In his
walk UP and down the block. Your
mother will be worried. for a fact;
and your father. tool know how
I'D feel IL my little boy got losted and
hadn't come home at dinner time.
don't believe you know where yoU
lige, though-now, honest! Come
'Fess up. Billee, you don't know
where you live, do your"
why. yes. do" said Little Billee
IT'S in the big gray stone house will
the iron fence in front Of it, near tn
park"
"oh, that's easy enough" laughe'
Santa Claus nervously. "Anybod!
could say he lived in a gray ston,
house with q fence around II, nea
the park: but you don't know wha
street it's on. nor the number. eithe
I'll bet fourteen wooden girafei
against 4 monkey on = tick"
'No. / don't" said ;Attle Bile
frankly: but l know the number @
our ortymobile. It's-'N. Y"
"Fine!" laughed Santa Claus. The
, he refiected for a moment cycling th
child anxiously.
Il don't believe you even know
| your papa's name" he said
Yes. l do" said Little Billee indil
nantly. His name is Mr.. Harrisoi
and he owns a bank"
Splendid! Made Of tin. 7 suppos'
with a nice little hole at the top
drop pennies into?- said Santa Claui
NO. It ain't. eilher'- retorted II
tie Billee. IT'S made OF stone, an
has more than a million windows
f. went down there with my MANN
J to papa's Office the other day, so
= guess ! ought TO know"
} We'll. ! should say So" said SAINT
Claus. Nobody better. BY the Va.
. Biliee. what does your mamma ca
: your papa? BIllee.' like you" b
I added
/ "Oh. no. indeed" returned Littl
, Billee. she calls him papa. excel
once in a while when he's going ava
and then che says. 'GoOd By. Tom
Fine again. said Santa CisH
= blowing upon his fingers, foJ ~
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24
The Curb.

Fortunes, thanks to our new trust
laws, will never be made in the fu
ture as they were made in the past
The speaker was Senator LaFol
lette. He resumed:
Our new trust laws are the peo
pies cash register. You know, OF
course, the cash register safety?"
"A young man said to an old one
But, sir, isn't s. a week rather
low for this job?
Low for it?' the old man an.
swered Why, started on that same
job, back in 1879. at So week, and
today / own the business
iAh, yes said the young man
but your employer didn't use cash
registers. Mine does,'"
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24

home again, won't your" said ths
child.
"Surest thing you knowl" an.
swered Santa Claus, looking down up.
on the bright but tired little face with
comforting smile. Where do you
liver"
AS II you didn't know thatI- cried
Little Billee. giggling.
''Ha. hal" laughed Santa Claus.
Can't fool you, can I? II would be
funny II, after keeping an eye on
you all these years since you was a
baby. didn't know where you lived
chr"
Awful funny" agreed Little Billee
Just then Little Billee noticed for
the first time the square boards that
Santa Claus was wearing.
What are you wearing those
boards for. Mr. Santa CLAUSE" he
asked.
II the lad had looked closely enough
he would have seen a very unhappy
look come into the old mans face:
but there was nothing OF II in his
answer.
"oh, those are my new-fangied
back and chest protectors. my lad.
he replied. Sometimes We have bit
ter winds blowing at Christmas. and
I have to be ready for them. II would
MT do for Santa Claus to come down
with the sneezes at Christmas time
you know-no. street This board in
! front keeps the wind OF my chest, and
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24

TOT the nrst time In his
Q life he came into close
@sS59J contact with the endless
S(1EWsS current of human things,
~ "a 1t was as hard for him
1sax9e to stay put" as for some
hayward little atom OF
dotsam and jetsam to keep from toss
ing about in the surging tides OF the
sea.
His mother had left him there In
the big toy shop, with instructions
not to move until she came back.
while she went OF to do some mys-
FERROUS errand. She thought, no
doubt, that with so many beautiful
things on every side to delight his
eye and hold his attention, strict
obedience to her commands would not
be hard. But, alas, the good lady
reckoned not upon the magnetic
power of attraction of all those lovely
objects in detail.
When a photograph at the other
snd Of the shop began to rattle OF
melodiods tunes and funny jokes, In
spite Of the instruction Little Billee
had received. OF he battered as fast
rs his little legs would carry him to
investigate. After that, forgetful OF
everything else, finding himself
caughC in the constantly moving
stream of Christmas shoppers, he was
borne along in the resistless current
until he found himself at last out ur-
on the street-alone, free, and indie
pendent.
1t was great fun, at first. BY and
by, however, the afternoon waned, and
little Billee began to grow tired. He
thought of his mamma, and tried to
find the shop where he had promised
to remain quiet until her return. Up
and down the street he wandered until
ms ne ,s..lA legs grew weary; but there
-e. 40 kikn OF tnc shop. nor Of the
beloved face lie was seeking.
Once again. and yet once again
after that, did the little fellow ira.
verse that crowded highway, his
tears getting harder and harder &c
keep back, and theh-1oy OF Joys
whom should he see walking slowly
along the sidewalk but Santa Claus
himself! The saint was strangely
decorated with two queerlookinl
boards, with big red letters on them
hung over his back and chest.
With a glad cry Of happiness. Little
Billie ran to meet the old fellow, ant
put his hand gently into that Of tbs
saint. He thought it very strang'
that Santa Claus's hand should be s.
red and cold and rough, and 81
chapped; but he was not in any moo'
to be critical.
Santa Claus. of course, would rec
ognize him at once, and would know
Just how to take him back to hi
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24

mamma at h0me-wherever that might
be. Little BIIiee had never thought TO
inquire just where home was. All
he knew was that it was a big gray
stone house en- . long street some
where, with a tan iron railing In front
of 1t. not far from the park
"Howdidoo. Mr.. Ssnta Claus?@ raid
Little Biilee. as the others hand IN
consciously frightened OEer his own.
why, howdidoo. kiddie?' replied
the old fellow. glancing down at his
aew-found friend. with surprise CLEAN
ing from bis deep-set eyes Where
did you drop FROM"
~oh. I'm out" said Little Billee
bravely. Ms mama left me a Little
while ago while she went OF about
something. and guess ] got losted
But it's ali right nov. I'm found again,
amt IL
~oh. yes. indeedy. you're found al
4Eht, kIddie," Santa Claus agreed.
And Dratsy sOon YoDD take DS
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24
on u. Trall q FrIena l.u,hana.

Mrs. Fury-Has yo' seed anything
o. muh husband. Brudder Lopp7
The Night owl-w'y. howdy. siatah
Fury; howdy, Nome. isn't seed him
since long bout ten o'clock. but what
brings yo' downtown at dis time o.
hightg
Mrs. Fury--Lookin' for dat man o.
mine. And hopes TO de Lawd nuth'n'
happens TO him befo' finds him.
ah-kaEe rs gwine To bust his head wid
ais club when kotehes himl-Kan,
sas City Star.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24
A Different Sense.

Sir Leopold McClintock, the Arctic
explorer, was once giving an account
of his experiences amid the ice fields
Of the north, 2
We certainly would have travelled
much farther" he explained, HAD NJ a.
our dogs given suit at critical time. +"
But exclaimed woman who had
bSc~n listening intently. Il thought
that the Eskimo dogs were perfectly
tireless creatures"
Sir Leopold's face wore whimsic'
ally gloomy expression as he replied:
"I-er-speak in culinary sense
miss"
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24

When Thomas r. Marshall. the vice.
president. was governor OF Indiana,
the city authorities OF Indianapolis
opened up grand bathhouse and
swimming pool. The first thing the
men in charge did was to send the
governor card emitting him to free
admission to the establishment.
A few days after receiving the first
pass Mr.. Marshall found second In
his mail.
Thereupon ne dictated the following
letter:
Gentlemen: Your first pass / re.
ceived as courtesy. Your second
regard as a suggestion. If you send
me third 4 shall take it as persona
insult"
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24
A cnmnarlsnn.

There goes the Widow Blym. She's
been married three times and shes
still as pretty as a picture ="
That shows the superiority OF a
woman over an automobIie"
in what respect7"
After a car has changed hands
two or three times it's a sight TO be.
hold
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24
a poubtful Frame o. Mind.

''Do you believe la uRpreparedness
for war as q powerful influence for
peaceg"
I'm not sure about that" replied
Senator Sorghum. = cant see any evi.
dence 10 the effect that no monarchy
would have the heart 70 shoot up an
pnarmed nation.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24
No Wonder.

Il never knew till l got q motor
car" said Bishop Rightly, that pro
family was so extremely prevalent"
DO you hear much of it on the
road?"
Why" said the bishop, nearly
everybody l bump into swears dread
fully"
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24
No Free Meals.

-And viii you give us your bless
angf" pleaded the newly married
ones OF her father.
sure thing" grunted the old man
hut the board will be at the usual
rates. Punch Bowl.
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24
Too impatient.

suitor (waiting for the ladyl--is
your daughter coming out next win
teri"
Father Shell come out wher
shes good and ready. and If you git
fresh I II knock yer block of"
The Idaho recorder. [volume] (Salmon City, Idaho) 1886-1927, 1914-12-24
No Fault Of the Bird.

Brown insisted on returning the
twenty dollar parrot he had bought 8
few days before Why, what is the
matter with IL" the dealer asked.
"W-w-hy," replied Brown, III
d-d-darped c-e-critter s-Rs;utterE"