Grand Forks daily herald. (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1914-1916, 1914-10-03
THE FOOD GRUMP.

10y II. n. WOOlOy.J
(copyrisht, 1914. by E. K: wooley. }
hope to choke to death before I en-
barrass my family and friends" de-
clared a matronly hostess after the
last dinner guest had departed, and
only the Intimate Friend remained.
"Yes. I noticed Mr.. Green, too
sympathized the Intimate Friend. "He
ought to be put in a cage"
II leave it to anybody-didn't
prepare q perfectly well-balanced
hurt a child?" queried the hostess in
injured accents. Il knew Mr.. Green
was particular. but I didn't know he
had no manners at all or I wouldn't
have invited him.
From the very beginning he start
ed to nag about the dinner. He
couldn't eat tomato soup, he said, and
he pushed at his plate as If it were
disgusting. Tomatoes. he said, were
not At food for anybody, and he
looked at me as II I had committed
In that beautiful cream tomato soup
now. wasn't that soup really ele-
CANT. Martha? }"
Best l ever tasted" quoth Martha.
But the way he acted. 1 believe,
Impressed all the others that it wasn't
worth eating bemoaned the hostess.
II noticed 1t was hardly touched when
he maid cleared the table.
And I always supposed anybody
could eat chicken! But when the
chicken was served he actually Look
ed as II he was going to leave the
table.
81 simply can't eat chicken he
said so everybody could hear it.
didn't have anything else in the house
put some cold tongue and I asked him
II he wouldn't like some Of that. But
he refused and said he never ate
tongue either.
Then he wanted paprika and
asked for it. OF course I didn't hap
pen to have any. and he made me
feel horribly guilty Of something or
other. He wanted to know IL the
water I served was distilled, ana when
said it was filtered right here nj
home he wouldn't drink q drop. he
lasted the dessert and said he always
mated lemon flavor and he didn't see
why anybody eve used it, and when
the coffee came he Just slipped It and
mad e.remarksa about the splendid cot
fee his mother made.
yes, that made me particularly
mad. because I made the coffee and
I'm famous for my coffee" smorted
the Intimate Friend.
Il felt pretty sorry for myself, but
l felt sorrier for poor Mrs. Green"
resumed the hostesa Poor thing
she sat there with her face flushed
and looking all kinds Of apologies at
me without daring to open her mouth
what a tyrant that man must ~ at
homo. q
maybe Mira. Green spoiled him
from the start" speculated the Init
friend. Many q woman has
to thank only herself for a husband
att cranky about his food. Yor
see, when she's q bride she il AWAY.
asking what he likes to eat, and he
gets to taking himself seriously. Now
IN wager MI. Green ate anything
mot was thrown at him before he
!ts moro likely his mother cod
aled him before his wife did" Gaid
me nostesA Some women bring ur
tneir children to and fault With any-
rntng they don't get at home"
Think its dne to be particular.
Friend. II knew some folks. thonan
a think everythin3s dne except
Wnet they get at home. I don't knov
Which u the moro embarrassing. MT
other DAY Mr1 Black and her tvo
small daughters had luncheon ~
me. We didn't have anything axfra.
put when l.urged one Of the children
Z nave some nor cake she aid:
Dear me, I wish / could. but
can't eat any moTe. I don't know
When I've had anything % s0od =
Yes mana. Ia u yoaas.r III