davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26
Jayhawker Jots

Some people are SO superstitious,
says the Mulvane News, that they
won't even walk under the ladder Of
success.
If there Is one thing the American
soldier dislikes. thinks the Clifton
News. it is the hesitation danced to
Huertas manana music.
According to the Potter Kansan. a
Potter man says his wife scratched
and he believes toemain poison has
set in.
The political bee is buzzins a little
louder each day. as the Norton Courier
says. and it might we'll have added
that its sttnger is in excellent working
order.
A couple of observations by the But
Ter County Democrat: 1t isn't every
one who can nail a lie without hitting
MS own fingers. The bumper
Kansas wheat crop will not furnish a
single loaf for the loafers.
A Wichita merchant, notes the Elk
County Citizen, very rashly imported
thirty dozen Chinese eggs, expecting
them to compete with real eggs, pro-
duced in Kansas. Naturally and Justly.
the rash merchant found the Mon
golian eggs to be very small, very old
and very unsatisfactory generally
undesirable citizens.
Related by the Horton Headlieht-
Commercial: The cub reporter saw a
hearse start away from a house at the
head OF q funeral procession. Who's
oead?' he inquired of the corner store
Keeper. who was standing near his
door. gazing at the conveyances. "Chon
Schmidt" John Smith, exclaimed
the cub. You don't mean to say John
Smith is dead?" well, by goIly," said
the grocer. ''vot you dink dey doing init
him-practicing?'
Anybody with a medal to bestow for
nerve should pin 1t on the breast of the
fellow who is told about in the Ellin-
wood Leader as follows: A hobo hit
George Womack for a quarter, Satur-
day night, to get something to eat with.
George sent him down to the Santa Fe
restaurant and told him to tell them he
would pay for the meal The Fosters
thought he was romancing and refused
TO let him have meal that way SO he
paid for it with his own money. and
then had the nerve to go back to wo-
mack and want him to give him a
quarter to reimburse him for the money
spent. After George recovered from
the shock experienced by sight Of so
much nerve. he turned him down with
few caustic remarks.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
TFrom the Chicago NJ

(From the Chicago News.1
Some men don't need money In order to
spend it.
It's much easier to borrow trouble than
to get rid OF 1t.
The high price of eggs has done much
to reduce stage fright
The race isn't always to the swift; It
often depends on the Jockey up.
Old hens are not absent minded. yet
their eggs are frequently mislaid.
When a man IL cornered he imagines
that he did not got a square deal.
Some men waste \ lot OF their time
looking for words OF encouragement.
IT'S easier for q young man to make
love to girl than for him to make liv.
ing for her.
Il is easier for the average man to
stand adversely than prosperity, and
much more common
perhaps King David revised his state
ment that all men were liars after dis
covering q man who never went fishing
What q mixup there would b I'm this
great and glorious country IL all mothers
were to strike Tor more wages and short
er hours!
Fron hrs better hah benedict gets this
advice early in the course OF mafrimony:
when IN doubt, listeu to me- when not
IN doubt ngten to me- anyway.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26
Signs of the Times,


A Los Angeles man forgot that he
had just been married and stayed out
all night. Now his wife asks for a
divorce. Some women are unreason-
able.
Some men are foolish enough to
work SO hard during the day that they
are too lame to dance the tango in
the evening.
Carnegie institute professor says
eugenics will prevent all crime in this
country. Yes. but can we wait that
long?
General Coxey is riding to WASH
ington on a mule. When the mule gets
tired. perhaps they can. change places.
To be on the safe side, 1t might be
well to leave the heavy ones on until
the Fourth Of July.
If it is shot up much more, the Tex
as border will begin to look like point
lace.
The jingoes who shout for war are
the last ones to find the recruiting
office.
The combination Of spring fever and
war is something fierce.
No more 'schooners' for the United
States navy.
1t is said Huerta offered to kiss
O'Shaughnessy goodbye. That must
be one of the horrors Of war we hear
so much about
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26
AN UNBIASED OPINION.

A grateful relief from interested
and biased arguments on public own
ership is found in a statement in. a
recent issue Of the Outlook by Sir
Thomas Shaughnessy, president of the
Canadian Pacific railway. Sir Thomas
has no government ownership problem
of his own. 20 he may not be charged
with self-interest. He, as a railroad
man, is happy because from the first
the railways and the government of
Canada have maintained a sort of
partnership that has conserved the in
terests Of the public as well as those
of the carriers. And he thinks we
shall be happier in our transportation
relations when we realize that gov
eminent ownership or private owner
ship is not the fundamental thing.
The fundamental thing is honest SER
vice on one side and honest compen-
sation on the other"
Evidently with some current facts
of railway history and the trend of
regulation in mind. Sir Thomas con-
cludes his interview with this sapient
comment: Clearly, the interests of
the public must rank first; but the
very fact that the public accepting
the service is also to be final authority
in the matter OF compensation would
make 1t as unfair and improper to
have that compensation established
at a figure below its value. to the
detriment of the shareholder. az 1t
would be II the transaction were be-
tween two business men of recognized
integrity"
| The most radical railway batter. az
tho Electrical Journal says. can take
az little exception to this statement
AZ can be taken to the summing up
Of the municipal Ownership PROPOSE
ton as outlined above.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26
Journal Entries

A friend in need is usually on q
vacation.
The biggest fool Is the one who
knows better.
A straw vote would show that a big
majority OF the people think they get
the worst. of 1t.
. = .
Another rule is for members of pic
mic parties to take much more lunch
than they can possibly eat.
Nor is it unlikely that many a girl
encourages a man to propose so that
she can turn him down and get rid
of him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26
Hu,,or Of the Day

Old Scotch woman-sThe last steak I
got frae We could haze soled ma boots M
it, Butcher-"And why did ye no dae
lit" Woman-''So Wild II could hae rot
the pegs tae gang through it"-Boston
Transcript
The Seeress-"You will soon marry n
man with loads of money who VIII dive
you 4 princely allowance. Two Dollar.
please" The Customer-"I'll pay You out
Of the allowance Good-by."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Creditor-.'You couldn't 60 around In
your fine automobile II you paid your
debts" Debtor-s-That'U sol I'm alad
you look ut II In the same light that
do. Hoston Transcript.
What ara tbs monkeys dotngT -Doston
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26
Euening Chat
Tho Family loloch.
BY RUTH CAMERON.

oe4AAsA1
Yes. my home is run just about t.
suit me-" heard a man say tho
other day with an air OF immense
self satisfaction. There's q lot O,
talk about compromising between
husbands and wives these days. but
my wife doesn't expect any such non
sense. She's glad to have things the
|, Now happen to know that mans
wife and I can testify that what he
says is true. She is q quiet little
creature as self effacing as he il self
assertive. And he certainly speaks
the truth when he says that she runs
things exactly as he wants them
Why shouldn't she when she learned
long ago that it was the only way to
keep peace in the home? Why
should she expect any such nonsense
as fair compromise Of interests and
desires when her husband has long
ago proved to her that he does not
intend to consider her wishes in any
thing?
One often meets people like this
man who boast of the fact that things
are run to suit them in the family,
the club or the social group to which
they belong. They seem to take vast
pride in this assertion. To my mind
1t would be difficult to ind q poorer
reason for pride.
Why do they have things their own
way? Because people love them SO ?
Not once in a thousand times. Just
because they know how to make 9TH
ers uncomfortable when they do not
get their own way.
In q great many families there IL
one member of this type.
why do we always go to the sea-
shore when 1t doesn't agree with the
children or me? Well, you know,
John is SO fond of the OCEAN
why don't we take an apartment
where the work would be easier for
me? Because Richard would rather
live in a house. He's never liked
apartments"
S I'm sorry, but can't possible go.
Yes 1t would be great treat. but it's
Philips lodge night and he hates to
have the house left alone"
So 1t goes.
In many houses the menu IL
planned almost entirely with refer
ence to one person. HE doesn't like
1t" excludes every dish, however we'll
recommended by price, nutrition and
the tastes of the rest of the family.
While, He is fond of it, IL the entr
entree to any dish even though no
one else cares for it. In fact. no one
else is supposed to have preferences
They eat what il set before them or
go without.
You notice I say "he." That's part
~ u AVOlu ttIC AWAW4Iu ISPSl1I1Ou Oh
''he or she," but partly because It
usually is he
OF course. the family Moloch some
times is a woman, but In these cases
she is more apt to rule by the rod
Of delicate health or the 81 shall
worry" threat than by a disagreeable
and overbearing temper.
No, I don't claim that women are
always better than men. Far from
1t, but do think that generations Of
supremacy have made men more In
clined to tyranny than women.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26
WILL YOU WRAP THE FLAG
AROUND ME2

WILL YOU WRAP THE X1&A3
AROUND ME3
On distant field Of battle. lies . soldier
By his side 2 comrade'9 praying. Tor h
He 10 dreaming OF his native land. It nus
his heart with pain.
To think he'll die, and never zee his dear
old home again.
He remembers how when but q child. M
stood at mothers knee.
The dear old hills and nowery wales. in
fancy he can zee.
Az a ray os hope lights up his faee. IN
He says, oh. comrade. tell me. tan me
this before I go
win you wrap the flag around me- when
you lay mo meath the sod.
VIII you breathe one prayer for my poor
win you tell my good old wife and child.
to often think OF me.
Oh. tell me, will you wrap the fiao
around me?
Now his comrade kneels beside him. and
he whispers in his ear.
Il Will see your wish IL granted" ana M
brushed away tear.
Then q look OF peace comes DER him.
while he breathes heartfelt sigh.
And says : II you , win n. grant my prayer
Now he dreams Of home once more. and
sees his dear old mothers face.
His good old wife and child as they stood
at their parting place.
Then the hope he holds grows stronger.
az he sees the heavenly light,
And once again he whispers. ere hia
spirit takes its flight
Refrain
Will you wrap the flag around me. when
you lay me meath the sod.
VIII you breathe one prayer for my poor
soul, commencing 1t to God.
win you tell my good old wife and child.
to often think Of me.
oh. tell me. will you wrap the nag
around me?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

Travelling men of the old fashioned
variety are evidently no longer on the
Job. The Kansas and Oklahoma men,
bers If the United Commercial Trav-
elers' association have gone on record
in favor If the proposed amendment
to the. United States constitution pro-
viding for national prohibition.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

Remembering what happened to
the prominent Progressive candidates
for ONCE for whom Colonel Roose-
welt made special campaigns two
years ago, there 10 no particular rea-
SON why CLIFFORD Pinchot should wax
enthusiastic over the extensive sup
port that the colonel promises him
In his United States senatorial cams
paign = ponnsylvanil.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

II there is anything in the maxim
popular with the old fashioned farm
ers that a good wheat year means a
poor corn year. the corn crop for 1914
won't amount to much in comparison
with some that have preceded It, But
maybe this is a rule that will be noted
for its exception this year. Here's
hoping, anyhow
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26
At Last.

At Last.
At last we can
Sit down in ease
And smoke Our pipe
Where'er we please.
The meals are being
Cooked once more,
And living's much
Less OF q bore.
At last we have
Got time to think,
And We do not
Sleep in the sink.
We've got a bed
Where we can snooxo,
We've found our
Collar and our shoes.
The days OF beating
Rugs are past.
We have some peace,
At last. at last.
Old Mr.. Gloom
Is on the run,
Thank all our stars,
Housecleaning's done.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

News from Washington that the
session Of congress may continue all
summer is Of the sort to arouse much
enthusiasm and hope in the hearts of
the patriots at home who are bent on
prying sundry and divers members Of
congress from their Jobs
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

This is also the season of the year
when all of the grave questions Of
state and society are settled decisive
ly and emphatically by the high school
and college orators at their COM
meucemert exercises.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

AS there was every reason to antici-
pate, the duel between former Governor
Stubs. and Warden Botkin over the
punishments that have and have not
been inflicted at the states peniten-
tiaryx has developed into one of words.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

And the political stream that Colonel
Roosevelt has embarked upon again
ID a river of doubt all right as to its
terminal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

Seven Of Germany's army aviators
fell to their death last week. This
would seem to indicate that the aero
planes used by the German army are
equally as dangerous as the famous
dirigibles OF the Zeppelin type.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

According to the Kansas bankers,
who see nothing but prosperity ahead.
the business outlook IL even better
than that OF the crops. AZ q matter
of fact. though. what would the busi-
ness outlook be were 1t not for the
bumper crops in sight? In the realm
of prosperity in this country, the
crops are the thing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26
FOIL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal Is q member Of the
Associated Press ana receives the fuIl Gay
9AniSatl for the exclusive afternoon
Solicitation In Topeka
The news 10 received IN The State Joue-
al building over wires for this sole p0s
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

From the Hickeyville Clarion.
Our office sufraget has q new set of
bangs, which increase the artistic tenn
permanent OF the journalistic atmosphere
IN our immediate vicinity about eighteen
horsepower. They are OF the sort which
can be taken of on extremely hot days.
when the operation of running type
writer becomes actual manual labor.
The office boy has lost all Of his grand
mothers now by sudden death, nine OF
them having departed this earth since the
baseball season opened, and having no
more grandmothers to lose, he can now
be found on the job in the office every
afternoon.
One Of our high-browed editorial
writer's suffered q very painful accident
one day this week and has been laid up
in the hospital. During the rush hour he
had the misfortune to drop one Of his
heaviest editorials on his foot, crushing
the same 1t has been the custom for
three or four members Of the staff to
help carry these editorials out to the COM
posing room, but on this day the edi-
tortal writer tried to do 1t alone, with
the foregoing result. II you see an edu-
Gated looking fellow going along the street
on clutches he's the one we have been
abiding at
The Beauty-1ints editor and conductor
OF the Advfce-to-the-Forlorn column lost
his chewing tobacco early this week and
his column has hardly been up to the
standard since. He will replenish the sup
ply next pay day. however, and then con-
ditionS will be normal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

Conditions are becoming normal
again in the baseball world in one
important respect. Ty Cobb's batting
is improving, and he is getting close to
the head of the swatsmen's class in
the American League
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

Nowhere.
Where can I find.
O tell me right,
A woman's skirt
That's not too light?
Where can I find,
In vain I've prayed.
A pumpkin pie
Like mother nader
Where can find,
Q prithee tell
A baby who
Forgets to yell?
Where can 1 find
Two wives who sit
And do not gossip
Just a bit?
Where can I find
A taxi bloke
Whom can hire
And not go broke?
Where can 1 find
A college lad
Who does not know
More than his dad?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

There is at least one policewoman
that's a normal representative Of her
sex. She's the Chicago copperette,
who's afraid to go home in the dark.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

When the Mahomets at home among
the Bull Moose clan wish to see the
mountain they have to to it. And
another great pilgrimage to Oyster
Bay Is under way.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

No doubt about Doc Cooks gener-
osity as a rival in the field Of explora-
ton. He Is willing to concede that
T. r. discovered a river in South
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

Those who expected the A. B. C.
mediators to move with the slowness
that is p-overbial among Latin-Amer-
leans, are not disappointed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

Summer seems to have landed with
both feet, which makes 1914 famous
in these parts for being a year that
was considerably minus of spring
weather, Of the old fashioned variety.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

At any rate. Judge Ben Lindsey gar
nered a lot OF valuable free advertis-
ing out of the refusal of John D.
Rockefeller. .r., to see him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

Regardless of what the weather
records may be, they are always being
broken. Praise. though, is seldom
passed around for these activities.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

Indications are that the Kaws are
about to break a worlds record as to
the number Of games lost successfully
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

ii No outsider, presumably, will have
the temerity to intervene in Ulster.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26
THE POOR HYPoCRITE.

The hypocrite q his own worst
enemy. He may play double with his
fellow men and succeed in fooling
most Of the people q greater part Of
the time but he constantly 10 giving
himself the double-cross ana robbing
his life Of its opportunity for big use
fulness and contented happiness. Ev-
cry hypocrite IL conscious Of his own
perfidy And this CONSEQUENCES makes
it impossible for the hypocrite to re-
spect himself. When 1t 10 20 apparent
that no good can result from hypoc-
risy it II q wonder that the world 10
infested with 30 many double-dealefA
-Atchison Champion.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-26

LATIN IN 1HD SCHOOLS.

ThA Wen1nem arsiflf 80 vrSelt mn An
editorial oppoeine the sueCeafion al
several neWspauern 81 RanSsa ma in
this instance particuIarly. the Law.
renee Journal-World, that the gttldy
of Latin be dropped from The ourrfc-
ulum Of the echoole of the state an
matter. Tho Spirit n e1nineutly cor
rect. Latin nhould be retafned IN our
schools. even though It Sc . dead
language, ~ the World suGgeots. All
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-10-07

Sb:fooin licensed seasiBre h0tei. fully
furnished Will be sold f6r less THAN
half actual vaiae; eScelleRt teas6n f3r
STesllinE. Most bsAttifHl i6Satith On
Traiii service. fibpi Phliadeirjhla- Aid
New York Pest isllhg and Cunning
on coast besides usual seashpfe attrhc-
AMI. Bay. phttles. Building iiibdefii
titst -clhss e6nditioht. tdqlpbed complete
Great opp6rtuhitt for hotel itial. Al;
Eonpaiit, owners, sOs Bailey Building,
philadtiphia, pa
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-10-07
BUSINESS CARDS.

MAN Frank. obticlan. widely known
here, who conducted fot years the
Former Richmond Optical Company.
gives excellent OPTICAL service. III
MAN Franz, 6brf6ar sbssiaIfsf, <. 1E ioss
business was IL years 115 East Broad
gives economically fine eyeglasses SCR
vice OIL second floor. III East Broad
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-10-07
PROposALs-sealed

OFFICE. Depot Quartcrmastcr, Front
proposals. in triplicate for delivery OF
i've hundred young horses. 90 per cent
cavalry type. 10 per cent artillery type,
specifications and Instructions to bid
ders to be Furnished. will be received
November :. ioii. ana thee pu l,ns2:
opened Bids will be considered FOR
delivery of, animals at Front Royal
va, or such other prominent railroad
point as bidders may designate. Guar
ahtH VIII be required in amount of not
slderation of proposal offered. fnfSr-
tnation furnished Upon application to
Depot Quartermaster, to whom all pro-
posals should be addressed
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-10-07
rYpEWkiTINa.
promptly and reason
ably executed. 200 East Grace. Madi-
Northumberland.

WANTED partner with $4,000 to In
!. Vest In established electrical business
ioc9ted IN coal neids. MD handle Office
and Inside work at salary of SOS per
Electrical work preferred. Write quick
~. l. 419, caro- Times Dispatch
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-10-07

To n party willing to put $500 into A
legitimate, local business tf5positi6n
will not lie ip. his mohGyi 4 hahds6inie,
nercentase. VIII lie eaified anu paid
weekly; This unhsual 6ppoftunity Is
sag. city.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-10-07
TO hEr-fiusihess Purposes.

FOR rent. good store with upstairs and
cellar: splendid stand for chicken and
egg merchant; 'as live fowls are not
to sutton & Co.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-10-07
BUSINESS CHANCES.

MONEY to loan. Stop paying rent we
lend money to buy or build homes.
or to pay. or mortgages aiiywhere In
the United states. ONLY 6 per cent an :
n nor. 70 T., repay s Loaf, at the rate Of
we VIII show you that 1t Is cheaper
TO own, your own home. than to. pay
}ySsrsity; Empire Mortgage Company.
son, Special Agent. 101T Mutual Build
Ing, Richmond. Va.
I will sell Or rent coal and wood Yard,
q. horses. carts, / motor anu Sal
ticleS. Of different kinds. sis South
Beividefc street.
MANUFACTURE nti wants State man.
ayers to establish bfIlce ana iiiaiiage
necessary; .yoii handle own money
setretafy, 400 Fisher Building. Chicago
YOUNG, man offers hair Interest in a
new. office device USED In connection
loved octobef ., 1914; to party who
will, invest 500 or less 10 place on
market. An excellent opportunity and
no risk. 6ls. cnre Times Dispatch
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-10-07
STOCKS AND BONDS.

I per cent investment--A reputable and
growing manufacturing concern ih
LNnchburs, Va. desires TO sell $4,000
OF increased business. Stock viii &c
Issued In blocks OF $1,000 each IL de-
sired. Will bear interest at rate OF
terested address Box egg. Lyftchburg