Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1914-02-26
KELLIECER'S iHSOMAIA
By DOROTHY DUNN.

Kellinger couldn't sleep. All his life he had been bothered that way. For no reason whatever sleep would sud denly desert him and when 1t aban- doned Kellinger 1t abandoned the rest of the family, meaning Mrs. Kellinger and the bulldog.
 When Mrs. Kellinger would an nounce sadly to their acquaintances that Tom had begun waking up at one o'clock and staying awake till six or not going to sleep at all until half past-three it was exactly as tragic as that he had fallen a victim to the suicide habit or had begun murdering people again after a short vacation. Those to whom she spoke always had an uneasy feeling that they ought to send flowers or something.
 Kellinger absolutely refused to go to the doctor about it. He said the physician would merely ask him if he had embedded any trust funds or had anything else on his conscience, and would appear annoyed because he hadn't.
 'It's just nerves" Kellinger would say in martyred tones. q wake up and then I begin thinking and I can't stop. I worry about what would hap pen if ten years from now long, hard winter should set in and l didn't have any work. Then there is Uncle Dave, who has just invested all his money in a gold mine, and what if he should lose it! And think of the sufferings of the people over there in the Bal kan regions during this cruel war!"
 If Tom didn't have such an absurd ly tender heart" Mrs. Kellinger would 1igh proudly.
 That is, she sighed proudly till the sleepless streak had continued for some time, and then she grew peevish from lack of slumber. At first she would read aloud to Kellinger or would arise and, descending to the kitchen, would concoct unholy two o'clock lunches of fried egg sand wiches to Hull him to sleep. Later on she took to making remonstrances. Following these heart to heart talks, Kellinger gave up coffee and cigars and once in while managed to sleep the night through, but more often he didn't.
 If you were twins, now" Mrs. Kel- finger murmured responsibility one night at three o'clock at Kellinger, who sat propped up socially against %he hoNrouf 1,,jf1, +1, < t&SAa 13,,tr HoI,$ or full blast. '1<suppose shouldn't mind being awake like this. I'd expect it. But I don't mind telling you secretly that Pm (yawn) getting aw-aw (yawn) fully tired of it! I'm just dead for sleep!" s-.
 Are you sleepy, dear?" Kellinger asked, in hurt tones. What wouldn't I give to feel that way!"
 Whereupon Mrs. Kellinger felt ashamed of her desire to sleep and read aloud from ''The Theory of Hot Water Heating" until she toppled over, sound asleep.
 Kellinger really suffered. He said if it kept up much longer he would go crazy. he knew. All the Kellingers' friends were intensely interested in the situation. By their advice Kel- finger drank hot milk before retiring, drank cold milk, put a hot water bag under his head and then an ice bag, stood on his head and walked on his hands, breathea in six times and out six times, crossed his fingers and counted jumping sheep.
 When they were out in the even- ing Mrs. Kellinger had the habit of watching her husband nervously, and if his eyelid twitched she would grab the person next to her and moan: rom is going to have another sfeep- less night!" she would say. "He Is getting the blinks! Poor man! don't know what is going to become of him! Isn't it awful! Dearie!" to the afflicted one, "sit over here where you won't get the cigar smoke-N makes you nervous, know!"
 All of this happened before the ar rival of Mrs. Shandle, who had known Kellinger at the disillusionizing age of ten, and had never outgrown the habit. The first time she was present at one of these sad exhibitions she transf1xed the Kellingers with a dis gusted glance and spoke her mind.
 Stuff and nonsense, Tommy Kel- linger!" said she. 'I never heard of such tomfoolery! never saw a per son put on the airs you do! Are you any better than any one else that you can't sleep as the rest of us do? You say that your life is without reproach, and if it is there's no excuse for your not sleeping. The idea! Smoke that cigar and drink that cup of coffee and go home and go to bed and go to sleep! You're a perfect goose! I think the trouble Is that your head is only big enough for one idea at a time. and you've grown attached to this sleepless idea and hate to tell it to move on. I'm ashamed of you! And your wife is an easy mark"