davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
RANGE OF PRICES.
Yesterdays Quotations as Reported
BY the Associated Press.

~GlUNASs
st. Paul, March 11.-Cattle receipts
1900; killers weak to 10 cents lower:
steers, $5.75 $40; cows and heifers,
$4.5O@7.25; calves rs cents lower,
s4.50@9.OO; feeders steady to strong,
$4.30@7.25.
Chicago. March 11.-Cattle receipts
$4,000; steady to a shade lower:
beeves, $7.15 @9.7O; western steers,
s6.75@S.0O; stockers. and feeders,
$5.G0@S.1O; cows and heifers, $3.50
@S.50; calves, $7.G0@10.
Hogs.
St. Paul. March 11.-Hog receipts,
1000; steady to 5 cents lower; range,
$8.15@S.45; bulk, $S.3O@S.35.
Chicago. March 11.-Hog receipts.
$4,000: steady to 5 cents lower; bulk
Of sales, $3.50 @S.65: light, $3.50
$40: mixed. $S.4O@S.75: heavy, $3.50
@8.75; rough, $s.30@S.45; pigs, $500
@S.45.
Sheep.
st. Paul, March 11.-Sheep receipts
1900: steady: lambs, So a 7.25:
wetlers, $5.00@5.75: ewes. $500
$40.
Chicago. March 11.-Sheep receipts
$4,000; steady to 10 cents lower:
native, $4.80@6.30; western, $4,000
6.35; yearlings, s5.SO@7.OO; lambs.
native. $500 $50; western, $500
1855.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

"A HALF SECTION OF GOOD FARM
klt. Box -l87. P~eterebsrS, 3. Qak.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
HOTELS.

.Family. European Tranilsnt
Finest Cafe In Northwsst
HOTEL DACOTAH
Commercial Headquartsrs,
Rooms 3l.o0 Up. Recently Improved
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
Grand Forks Markets
L y 4 = + + = 4
March II. IL

March II.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

FOR sALE-SHETLAND PONY, BUG
gy and harness; cheap IL taken at
once. Apply 1923 N. 6tl st.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
SOUTHWEST
pRIMARN
lToRI1ICN CARLES

Paris close. whea unchanged to
Ia lower. Flour unchanged.
Antwerp, wheat unchanged.
Bnenos Aires, opening, wheat 1-8
lower. Corn IL higher. FLAX un.
changed.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

Holstein cows. heifers and bulls: one
fine registered Holstein bull, on Tues
day, March 18th. g. w. Barth, 6
miles N. e. Of Beltrami inc 3 miles
8. w. Of Melvin, Mimi.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

European THE COLUMBIA European
Flnoat and Busiest Poplar
i48ssPftceds Cafe in the Northwest
o0AfD$S0G UP. EAT AT OUR CAFE.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
HELP-MALE

MORE MONEY IN ONE DAY MAY BE
earned with me thar during an en-
tire week in other ways. Applicants
y must be bright, neatly dressed, clean
hands and face. I want the manifest
boy in the city. Come early prepared
for work. Apply to Alvin Thorson,
s14 Kittson' Ave-. Grand Forks, No.
Dakota.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

MONUMENTS MARKERS VAULTS
w. r. Jack. Grand Forks. N. d.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

PIECE WASHING DONE; ALL HAND
work: phone 460-L T-S.: 672-L N. w.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
SEED GRAINS

FOR sALE-7oO BU. OF MARQUIS
Wheat. Apply James Austin. Han
nah, N. D..
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
SIGNS

FOR SIGNS OF ALL DESCRIPTION
see us: auto finishing a speciality. Da-
kota Sign Co, 3rd & Relmont: NV. SCI
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
JUNK DEALERS
KODAK FINISHING

HAVE YOUR FINISHING DONE AT
b Acme Studio. IFS North Third.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

IN THE CHEAP LAND DISTRICTS OF
upper Wisconsin o are surrounded
with the best markets in America
and you never have a crop failure
at least NOT yet. We will give you
informatlon; write vi today. Wis
consin Advancement Assn, SS4 Cas-.
we'll Blk, Milwaukee, Wis.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

oHjEEWSSEsT VENTILATED HOTEL,
FFsltsNSey: American: transient; family;
sf66&0 81. Hotel Hall. I'll s.. Third.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

WANTED = POSITION By YOUNG
lady photographer. Address 20:
Times-Herald.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

WATERFALLS SECTION OF GOOD
land to rem near Grand Forks. No
wet. gumbo or alkali land. BOX 50.
Gitby. N. d.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

wANTEDLMAN FOR TREASURER
of a corporation, making farm loans:
must invest $500 and be 30 years old
or over. Address Farm Loan Com
pany. Box i, Bowman. North Da-
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

It's a poor rule that hangs are when
its maker tries to apply 1t.
More people might acquire wisdom
II they were not preoccuptsd WITH
foolishneas.
It's all right to hope for the 49,.
but hoping u no sort;o Of adeauats S1.,
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

EXPERIENCED STENOGRAPHER
wants position: good references. Ad-
dress 672 Times Herald.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
LIVERPOOL.

Opening, wheat is to Ia lower.
Corn unchanged.
1880 p. m. wheat ia to 3-S lower.
Corn Ia higher.
3:1S p. m., wheat Ia to as lower.
Corn Ia higher.
Close. wheat Ia to SIS lower. Corn
IA higher.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
WANTED TO RENT

WANTED-TWO SLEEPING ROOMS
must be close in. Call S79-L n. w.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

EXPERIENCED OIL PULL ENGINEER
wants position for spring. Address
Lloyd Deitz, Arvilla, n D.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
SITUATIONS WANTED

SITUATION WANTED-IN BANK BY
neat, reliable, willing young man or
Asst. Bookkeeper where there is a
chance for Advancement; can furnish
bonds II necessary. Address 699
Times.Herald.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

WANTED-WAsHING TO DO AT
home. Will call and deliver: N. w.
1227-J.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

sCAvENGER WORK OF ALL KINDS
done, vaults cleaned. It's. phone 1851
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

WINDOW TRIMMER AND CARD
writer would like position in AZ up
to-date store; a place whore ability
and hard work are recognized. Ad-
dress 667 Times-Herald.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
WOOD AND COAL.

GRAND FORKS FUEL co.
Dealer in
ALL KINDS OF FUEL.
Weighed on the city's scale.
1874 S. THIRD PHONES 475.I.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

FOR sALE-ABoUr 500 cords choice
Poplar wood. Write A. & q. Lilo,
gLonGby. Mimi.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

FOR sALE-s SHARES STREET RAu-
way stock ct par. Address fOl
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

EXPERIENCED STENOGRAPHER DE-
sires position. Call 1854 N. ".
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

GRAND FORKS cHoE REPAIR SHOP
For Neat and Good Work. AVS DeMers.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

FOR sALE-PURE WHITE CLOVER
Extracted Honey. Call 1707-L N. w.
or 619 Chestnut st.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

OFFICES FOR RENT-sEE A, /. Wild.
lund. room 304. Widlund Building.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

1900, aged 4 and 5. wagon, set of
harness. Inquire 1913 International
Ave. -.t,Inl
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
sLoTs o SALE

FOR SALE-CORNER LOT. VERNON
avenue cheap: Box 5, Grand Forks.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
SHOE REPAIRING

post charges one way. Send for price
list. Shoe Hospital. Madsen-Thore.
son Co.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

FOR SAILS ROOM HOUSE STRICT
~ modern; SO foot lot with garage.
Phone 210.L N. w.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

Many a man wakes up and finds
himself infamous.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
Observation-Disclosures

Butcher shop with full equipments,
including an amonia refrigerator.
Address Cos Times-Herald.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

FOR RENT-TWo STORE BUILDINGS
on De Mers Avc. Inquire sullivan
Bros. 30S De Mers Ave. East Grand
Forks.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
LOST AND FOUND

LosT-BETWEEN .TRI-sTATE TELE-
phone office m new City Hall,
handkerchief containing $500 in
bills and silver. Return to 211 No.
.4th for reward
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

FOR sALE-oNE SODA FOUNTAIN,
c~arbonator, table. chairs, stools
glasses. ETC.. Cheap IL taken at once
w. A., Ross. East Grand Forks, MINI.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

FOR SALE. OR TRADE FOR HORSES
or cattle. bay Percheron Stallion,
eight years old; weight 1900. viii
Hancock, Emerald. N. D.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
CHICAGO CORN
CHICAGO OATS.
CHICAGO PORK.

MINNEAPOLIS WHEAT.
Puts, May 80.
Calls, May 900
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

HoUsES.FoR SALE.

FOR sALE-A FINE 7-RooM HOUSE,:
50 foot lot. close in on Chestnut
street; nearly news. good walks and
shade trees: must be sold in thirty
Farmers and Mechanics Savings
Bank.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

FOR sALE-soME STORE SHELVING
INQUIRE W. q. AcDonald. Care NNAh
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

.Losr-pIAMoND STICK PIN IN 800
Block on North 5th st. Finder re-
turn to Tmcs-Herald for reward.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
The Markets II
Market Quotations.

Z + : I : . Q o 9
Market quotations furnished by e.
r.. Lewis &, Co.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
TOBACCO AND CIGARS.
WANTED TO BUY

WILL BUY A FEW SECOND MORT
gages at reasonable discount. Ad-
dress 6SS Times-Herald.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
WANTED TO BUY-oIL STOVE AND
folding ned Call GIL rs.

WANTED TO RUY-CANfERA CHEAP:
state particulars. Times-Herald 6a5.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

EXCHANGED - BROWN, MUFF AT
. Aaker's Business College March Z.
Call Erickson. sos Chestnut st.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
LIVE STOCK

FOR sALE-sIXTY-FIvE HEAD HIGH
grade registered dairy cows (mostly
springers); herd consisting of IIol-
stems. G~uernseys. Ayershires and
and recently tuberculine tested; also
have n registered Guernsey bull.
II in the market for this stock come
and see It and get prices: all stock
out of state. F. A. WEIGH, Grafton.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
AGENTS

AGENTS WANTED FoR CROW.
Elkhart line Of automobiles: good
territory still open; thirty-hve horse
car $1075: for contracts write or wire
North Dakota Factory Representa-.
1 v Edward Gilbertson. Nelva, N. D.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
cHIRoPoD1sTs

Expert on all foot troubles. Corns
removed without pain. IngrowinE
nails and bunions scientifically
treated. Clifford Annex. DeMers
avenue. Tri-state 1851. Northwest.
ern 1360L.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

BLACKSMITH SHOP WITH TOOLS
and all equipment for sale. Also
barn for sale. Grand Forks, Lum-
Der Co.; East Grand Forks, Mimi.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12

WANTED-CLEAN RAGS FREE FROM
buttons and hooks. at the Times-Her-
TX
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
TUITIoN-Dressmaking
EXCHANGES

EXCHANGES
WILL TRADE $1,000 EQUITY IN 100
acres land IL miles south of LiE-
mite. N. D.. for good sound work
horses; 100 acres under cultivation:
305more car be broken, balance good
hay land; level and no rock: valued
$500: purchaser to assume mortgage
Of $1,000. Inquire A. G. Reiter, Pow
ers Lake, N. d.
FOR SALE OR EXCHANGE FOR
equity In city property, 8 passenger
automobile in good condition. o. A.
Webster.
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
FARM LANDS

FARM FOR RENT-THE wAMDUsKA
farm. south Of Lakota. comprising
vation, but not. plowed, Is for rent
for tho season of 1914. There Is house
and barn accommodation for two FAM
ilt4s. n the land will 20 rented
ether p o a ISL basis or forsfh
sh1re. Of the crop and in mi or mora
PARCELS. at the option of the renter.
Address Frank b. Feetham, attorney,
Grand Forks. N. D.. or VIM. H. Hill,
The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
ron SALE MISC. tco.t,uu.s.,
MONUMENTAL WORKS

BARN FoR SALE Ar col CHERRY ST.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-27
Came Down Gently.

Gladys s mother was entertaining Wis
itors, when suddenly the door was flung
open and in burst Gladys like the pro-
verbal whirlwind.
"My dear child" said the mother,
rebukingly, 81 never heard such noise
as you made coming downstairs. Now
go right back and come downstairs prop
erly."
Gladys retired, and few moments
later re-entered the room.
"Did you hear me come down that
time, mammal, she asked.
"No, DEAR" replied the mother.
"Now, why can't you always behave
like thati You came downstairs like a
lady then"
eyes, mamma said Gladys dutiful-
ly, 81 slid down the bansters.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-27
Prodded His Fathers Memory.

Mr.. Urban was always late to din
ner. He lived on tho Fort Worth
Interurban and arrived home one even
ing, as usual, twenty minutes behind
hand. His wife was entertaining Mr..
and Mrs. Fortune. Greeting the guests
with effusive cordiality, he said:
eff had known this pleasure was
in store Cor me l should certainly
have arranged my business so as to
be at homo earlier"
"Why, harry" sighed his wife, 81
told you. "
~ beg your pardon, love; but you
are certainly mistaken this time. You
probably forgot to mention it. On
the whole, however, L am glad you
did. 1t is a delightful surprise" "
Mrs. Urban was spirited woman
This unjust accusation came ear over
throwing her courtesy. Her lips part
ed, then shut decislvely; but slight
frown fingered on her forehead.
Little Tommy read her face. Eli
knew all about his father s poor mem
ory, and he felt it his duty both tt
refresh it and to defend his mother.
"Why, papa" he piped, "don't yo-
recollectY Mamma told you to be sure
to come home early tonight because
the Fortunes were going to be here
and you said, ooh, the devil! y
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-27
Not a Direct Answer.

A lawsuit was recently in full
swing, and during its progress wit
ness was cross examined as to the
habits and character of the defend
ant
"Has Mr.. Nj reputation for
being abnormally lazy'" asked coun-
sci, briskly.
"Well, sir, it's this way"
"Will you kindly answer the ques-
ton askeda" struck in the irascible
lawyer.
"Well, sir, I was going to say it IS
this way. l don't want to do the
gentleman in question any injustice,
and 1 won't 60 so far as to say, sir,
that he's lazy exactly; but if it re-
quired any voluntary work on his part
to digest his food why, he d die from
lack of nourishment, SIR"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-27

fifteen seconds Jones and the red
faced person took i0-horsepower dis
like for each other Then the wretch
ed Jones made his first serious mis-
take. He CT the ruddy complexion
banged the table.
"Why on earth didn't you follow
my lead9' re shouted.
"If there is one man in this wcrld
today whose odious example l would
not follow in any circumstances you
are the man" retorted Jones, with
dignity.
After that the jolly pastime pro
ceeded. Then Jones put his foot in ii
again, and again the rubicund one
ashed the Bile.
"Couldn t you see me calling for q
SPADE or club'" he doomed. Haven Z
you got black suit, MANI"
eyes, 1 have" said Jones, rising
from the table, ''and I'm jolly well
hanging on to it for your funeral! u
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-27
One Mems of Support.

Miss Campoell, the Sunday school
teacher, discovered, to her horror, that
some of the small members of her
class had taken as literal truths the
tales of ancent god and goddesses
which they had read in a child s
mythology at school.
She etermined, if possible, to de-
st 'oy this belief by simple logic and
with this end in lew she asked:
"Who was it, Amelis, that support
ed the world on his shouldersi'
"Atlas, ma 'am,' the little girl re-
piled, promptly.
"That is correct,' said the teach
CT. "Now, children, think. If he was
supporting the world on his shoulders,
of course he could not be standing
on it. Now, what supported Atlas!''
81 know" cried Amelia. "He mar
ried rich wife"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-27
Ceremonious.

If there is one thing commercial
traveller dslikes more than another
it is elaborate ceremony; and it the
spirit of his profession is in him he
generally finds some way to let his
prejudices be known.
One evening travelling salesman
from Cincinnati happened to sit down
at hotel table in company with half
a dozen state legislators, who talked
with excessive formality. 1t was
"Will the gentleman from Hardin do
thisf" and "Does the gentleman from
Franklin want that7" the ordinary
form of direct address being care
fully eschewed.
For nearly Ten minutes the CONNER
cial traveller suffered in silence. Then
he turned to the waiter and said in
deep, oratorical tones:
"Will the gentleman from Ethiopia
please pass the butterF
The remedy was effectual.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-27
Stories With a Smile
cOME employers in New York City
Al like some emnloyers in other

cOME employers in New York City
~ like some employers in other
citles-are not as polite to their
office force as they stouli be, even
though some of their forces may be
of the feminine gender Much of it,
however, is more the result of care
less speech than bad temper and in
such eases it may be cured. One such
employer in Courtlandt street las been
cured AT least he says he has.
1t happened thus: He had taken in
new stenographer, very quiet,
steady young woman of about 25, and
very efficient. But he never thought
of that. AS soon is he got used to
her he fell into his habit of blurt-
ing out anything that come to his
mind when he was not pleased, and
one day she asked him a question he
thought she should know
"Oh, say" he snapped at her,
amy damn fool ought to know
that"
1t is not an original expression by
any means, and the girl had prob
ably heard it many times, though
poss bly, not in such personal man
ner, but she was equal to it. She
looked him square in the eye, un-
a-raid, and still the lady.
eyes,, l." she replied pleasantly
enough; "you seem to know it, but,
you see, l IN not \ damn fool. /"
1t gave new turn to the express
sion which had not occurred to him
before, and he was staggered but he
knew she had him and he was gentle
man enough to apologize. Now he is
much more par icular in his office
language and says he is .aad she
called him down as she did.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-27
A Crushing Reply.

When Mr.. Crockett offered his first
book to certain firm of publish
ers, they returned it with curt note
informing him that there was "no
market for this sort Of work" In
the corner of the note was the index
mark "No. $780,"
Some time later, when Mr.. Crockett
had become famous, this same firm
wrote asking him to allow them to
publish his next book. Mr.. Crockett,
who had carefully preserved their
former rude letter, politely replied by
asking them to refer to their own let
ter book under the sign "No. 396C. "
That closed the correspondence
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-27
Might Wed a Bachelor.

A little girl of six sat looking
thoughtfully out of the window Of
her home the other day. Her mother
asked the cause of her seriousness.
"Oh," she replied, 81 was just
thinking that when I grow up to be
big lady l IN agoin to get marri ID
and have three children"
The parent was surprised and
amused.
"Weil, you will be very fortunate,
indeed" she replied.
Then the littlo girl again lapsed
into thought. Finally she said:
"But you can never tell, mother
I might marry bachelor"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-27

velops the mathematical powers. To
your son figures and numbers, order
and system will be conglomerate
mass of nothingness."
"Then he cant work in my of
fice," said the father sadly, "but he
ough. to be great at making up the
summer train schedules for suburban
railroads.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-27
Playing It Safe.

The wife of a small farmer in
Perthshire, Scotland, some time ago
went to chemist in the "Fair
City" with two prescriptions-one for
her husband, the other for her COW.
Finding she bad not enough money
to pay for both, the chemist asked her
which sho would take.
"Gie me the stuff for the coo, !"
said she; "the morn will do weel
enough for him, puir body. Gin he
we're to dee !! could sure get anither
man, but IN no sac sure that l could
get an.ther coo''
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-27

disappear in cloud of dust. They
suddenly came across the trail and
held their noses.
"Thm motors must cost heap OF
money" said Joe; "the rich is fairly
burning money"
Gay, indeed" shifted Mike, land
by the smell of it it must be thas
tainted money we hear so much talk
about"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-27
His Future.

"The child is otherwise in perfect
health" said the great physician,
"but I regret to say that he is af-
flicted with curious mental de-
ficiency."
Explain!" groaned the unhappy
father.
"The pictcrius mucilo of the medul-
la gezinkus has never appeared in his
D:ain. That is the nerve that de-
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-27
The Trump Suit.

Jones didn't want to PLAY cards;
never had wanted to play cards in his
life and said so. But to no purpose.
His objections, conscient GUS and other
wise, were waived OIL one side by
the redfaced person who was look
ing for a partner.
Jones took his seat at ths card
table. Before they had been playing
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-27
He Insisted.

There was a young lady of Siam,
Who said to her fond lover, klam,
81 refuse to be kissed,
But if you insist,
Heaven knows you are stronger IMAM
[ am.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-27
Had Bad Odor.

With roar like gigantic rookie,
the lOO-horsepower motor car tore
down the road. Joe and Mike saw if
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-08-28

There's plenty Of time to these SUITS but not
neither cost nor loss get much consideration from us nov
GRAY SERGES, MIXTURES, all look alike
who good all WOOL guaranteed standard
quality money advantage
savings bank.