davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10
different points of interest to party Of LADY
visitors last Wednesday.

different points of interest to party Of lady
visitors last Wednesday.
The Farm Machinery Dept. received a
man from the H and T dept, last Friday.
He is drilling sickle bars.
Where angels fear to tread, Ouch! You
had better put muller on that asst prop,
business Mr.. Paint Man, or you will hear a
noise.
Lost-Between cell hall A and the dining
room, last Saturday morning knit glove.
Will the finder please send it to shop K,
and oblige owner.
0. B. Johnson had to be relieved last
Saturday afternoon on account of sickness
Mr.. Johnson has been under the weather
for the past ten days, and had been re-
celving treatment for stomach trouble.
The Farmers Dispatch of St. Paul, is
running series of articles under the head
ing of Peggy's Story. The autobiography
of a Modern Girl. They are quiet interest
ing and one can not hello but wonder what
brand the writer uses to inspire such dreams.
They are sure rich, and to one that has
seen the world, they seem like the dreams
of convent girl. Come again Peggy,
lets have the next spasm
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10
:. JOKERS' BUDGET :.
Bv PADD Y

A lost bark. A dog without home.
Chop Suey John is now head waiter at
the fifth avenue table.
The matrimonial bee seems to be still
busy around these parts.
No Duke, that bunch are not barn-storm-
ers, but free lunch crashers.
A consignment of squirrel food was ship
ped to the fun factory the other day.
1t is claimed that Officer PIante copied
the chalk that Officer Clum went to get.
1t generally depends on the amount OF
spending money woman what kind of a
complexion she freights around.
Judging from the way uncle John famed
the breeze when playing ball a week ago,
leads one to believe he could not hit bale
of hay.
Well we stuffed our insides with turkey
giving day, and that is sure something to
be thankful for.
eff a gent happens to blow in this joint
and says he is guilty, am going to turn a
hand spring for JOY" Said Short Hand
Jim the other day.
The Capt. of the castor oil squad has re-
turned from his vacation and looks as
though he enjoyed his ten days; but SO far,
he has not sprung a wonderful fish story.
Many maiden will break her neck to
get an opportunity to appear before the
foot-lights. While many a would be SON.
in-law burns the soles off his shoes trying
to disappear before the foot-lights.
"Mercy, what language! ''Now
what's the matter Duke, been down near
the kitchen again. mo, l met Andy
from the front Office out in the hall and
asked him if it was true that he was soon
to be married"
1t is claimed that the show the home
talents are trying to dress up for Xmas is an
honest to goodness real wild and w DOLLY
western play. The second act will contain
a cowboy stunt featured by Slivers and
Bronko Harry, who will do little bare
back riding stunt with little Oscar as offic-
ial Judge.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10
TAILOR SHOP AND LAUNDRY
By EQttO Amino 1914

1t is pleasant to jest opportunity.
All things with the good are good.
Capt. Vollmer conducted some friends
thru the institution last week.
Chaplain Benson escorted a couple OF
friends about the different departments las,
Friday.
Asst Deputy Whalen escorted large
party of visitors thru the tailorshop and
laundry last week.
The gale of popular favor-fortune favors
the brave. We know one brave that mis-
fortune overlook. How about it A?
Occupant of lob would appreciate it
very much if the Cosmopolitan magazine
finds its way to his address. Maybe it will,
Mike D..
Supt. Ross was showing a couple OF
gentlemen thru the bath room last Friday,
and they were heard to remark that it was
some bathroom.
We trust we may have the pleasure of
seeing you some of these days H. w. w.
and renew our past acquaintance. "Ars
Tonga, vita brevis.
Capt. French, who has been in charge of
the dormitory, is now stationed in the Of
6cer's kitchen and dining room.
Mr.. Nelson says he has more Mikes in
his shop than any other crew on the job.
He has an Irish Mike, Swede Mike, two
Dago Mikes and even Dutch Mike
The man who cheerfully and eagerly
buys book entitled: Chow to increase
your Mental Efficiency" becomes indig
nant when the volume is presented to him.
1t keeps Mr.. Nelson pretty busy these
days, getting several men ready to 90 into
the world to take up life's work, to say
nothing of the new recruits that are arriv-
ing.
The person who INDUCES toward another
an habitual hatred or an habitual fondness,
is in some degree slave. Just and amic-
able feelings towards all should be cult
| waited.
Curry says there must be some kind of a
jinxs connected with the Warden's runner
job by the way they all come back. It's
pretty near time little Dave was showing
up for the winter.
Owing to other matters which now oc-
cupy our time, we are obliged to relin-
quish our right, for the time being. to par
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10

The Mirrors prize delinquent subscriber
wandered into the institution the other day
and, all unsuspecting, the editor lured him
up to the doctors Office and tipped the doc
to give him the Twilight sleep" treatment.
And say, the doc is some treater! he had
the d. S. in the twilight zone as quickly as
you could break your arm cranking a new
auto. In two minutes the ed. separated the
patient from the money he had been owing
the publication since the time when Heinz
had only one pickle. When the d. S. came
too he was holding receipt in full in his
hand. Then the ed. told him. He was
simply tickled to death and tried hard to
suppress his laffink. He said that hereto
fore he couldn't bring himself to pay up,
he dreaded the pain. The editor turned
all the money over to the doc and told him
to invest it all in more chloroform. He is
going into this business Right
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10
NOTES FROM SHOP E
By N. S. N.

And Ed. is now the man with the punch.
o yes, am now captain of the assistant
oil can.
Jack has been assigned line of spinners
Why so much excitement Jack'
Xmas subscription was taken in this shop
last Thursday and nearly all donated liber-
ally to the fund.
Three men from this shop joined the
Night Hawks during the past week. Ali
experts in their line; one baller, spinner
and truck man.
Don't like to write this fellows name,
but if you have heard the frogs just before
a rain you will know how to pronounce it.
Anyway, Croaker was out of luck last Fri
day and he lays all the trouble to having
bobbin No. Is distributed to him.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10
OFFICERS DINING ROOM
By d. 1919

We have silver boy now.
If you can't boost. don knock.
Wanted:-One cup of hot tea.-Mr.
Philbrook.
We were sorry to lose Mr.. Westby, but
understand he is taking a course in print
ing. Good luck to him.
Officer Phingston, who worked nights in
cell house A during the absence of Mr..
Reemes, is now working days again.
Chas. Reemes, night guard of cell hall
A, has returned to work after spending
his ten days vacation. He reports a
good time.
Pistolfnger Pat says that he was a ball
player this summer, now he is a ''balad'
dancer under the able instruction of Prof.
Schmidt.
Did you ever hear of a waiter who ate
so much goose that he dreamt he had
wings and flew out of bed and hit the
floor? Ask Spencer.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10
B. and o. NOTES
By Otto Mobile

els it charity, or is it piece work. is the
paint shops standing question. Some eyes
]. R.
Have you heard thse "There was no.
body home but the locksmith and he was
making bolt for the door,"
We note that the Vermont state prison
has recently organized band, nine men
comprising the charter membership. Sue
cess to them.
Alex L. has returned to the orchestra to
relieve us of the viola which is his old in
strument, and Kubelik is going to instruc t
We scribe on first violin, as the brass section
requires balancing with the strings.
We start writing our Xmas letters six
weeks early and finish three weeks late, and
we wish it would take us all year. This
will be our third Xmas here and we agree
with Uncle John that "time does fly
'sHa ha,'' quoth Nil Desperandum as he
extracted length of Irvine from his hash,
GIVE found the lost chord" Slippery Ike
remarked the same as he diligently sorted
the tooth picks from said hash.
Both Germany and England are endeav-
oring to keep their armies supplied with to-
bacco, as their efficiency experts claim that
the men fight better with it. Ours is not a
physical fight but we are looking forward
to the Real Weed to help win our battles.
The song which all England is singing
and which is beating all records in the u.
S., "Its long, long way to Tipperary, :"
was written by Harry Williams, an Owa-
tonna boy, two years ago. 1t was bought
by an English firm after being rejected
here and was "made" by the war.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10
WITH POT AND BRUSH
By J. r.

Why the September morn, Otto Mobile?
Twill not always be the banana belt.
Harvester platforms are being turned out
of the paint shop at the rate of about S. a
day now.
The ubiquitous Sammy, wishes to it be
known that the ''magic rag is still in his
keeping.
A chair for the local ''hello girl was
refinished in this shop recently. How goes
it, central?
Well anyway, Equo Amino, Rex does
not need ]. Ham Lewis front to put 'em
over in his line. Eha Gold teeth is right
Speaking of male sopranos, Baron, there
are also female baritones. Furthermore,
one is about as scarce as the other here
abouts.
&c, chief engineer of one of the varnish
tanks, was taken suddenly sick while at
work last Thursday and is under the care
of DR.. Newman.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10
ticipate in the further discussion of mo-
mentous problems.

mentous problems.
Geo. F, seems to be very gloomy OF
late, the reason thereof is not known; but,
Rex of the printery told us that he thought
it was because they did no. make any more
high boots in Wis. Whether or not tbs
| that, we do not know.
Someone asked Peanuts when he was
going out. 81 don't know, for sure;' he
| said, for Capt. Alexander says that l
have to get all them big stone steps worn
down smooth before they will let me go,
! and that is an awful big job for little man
| like me.
Rastus was seen digging large hole in
| the side of the hospital hill the other day,
and when asked what it was for, he replied:
cold weather is coming, and they say
| that the coonS all den up in Minnesota dur
ing the winter; so l am getting mine
ready"
The November school report of this in
stitution deserves comendable mention, for
1t discloses the fact that many are avaling
| themselves of this opportunity to obtain a
better education. With the knowledge
thus acquired at night school they fit them
selves with permanent weapon to fight
life's battles in the future.
Hear! Ye knights of commerce and in
dustry, be rested for the time and WELD to
the call ofthe coming holiday. Let civiliz-
alton supercede the present barbarism. Let
the military authority be replaced by the
civil, the just, the true and pure. Then.
and only then will there be "Peace on
| earth, good will toward men,
Some class to that new red and blue
wheelbarrow that Mr.. Nelson's runner uses
for carrying the over-alls and jackets to the
shops. He says if he only had little donk-
ey to hitch on the front end of it, he would
not care how deep it showed this winter,
for with the donkey pulling and him a
pushing they could overcome all snow
drifts.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10
KIDVERSATIONS
By Sherlock

Many thanks Bookworm for the favor.
People always feel so nice, when they
profit by advice.
Patty Shees-ahen is now the presiding
head of dept. F, days..
Anyhow, the grape-juice cocktail beats
the grapes hot highball.
Some speed merchant in the oiling game
is this Blondy Hardwood of F.
What man has done bores everybody.
but what he is going to do is always de
lightful.
We are now acting as aid-de-camp to
Patty. We are presiding over spinners
with an oil can.
Some men Il for one) have made so many
experiments that they have had no time to
gain experience.
l hate a man who can love only those
whom he esteems. He always runs away
with his friends wife.
Ha! ha! l feel my laffink coming on;
Foreman on ballers" (?) Can that idea
Jimmie, oiler is proper.
HCy Say tHlS GulOpCdu wal 10 uOly
war;" Well it has more attractions for us
than the kind that is hell.
Did we or did we not get glance at the
Mirrors famous "Indian'' who went but
to returne Too bad old man, sympathize.
If all men had been born deaf, there
would be more thinking and less fighting,
War could never drive his chariot in silence.
1t is easy enough to be faithful to some
one you love, but to be faithful to some
one you don't love-that in my opinion,
is true virtue.
Those Paris male dressmakers who are
fighting in the ranks ought to escape an
Inhalation, if there is anything in the law
of the survival of the "ht-ist.'
Eugenic faddists have overlooked an ar
gument in the old-time southern negro,
many of which were so strong physically
that it was necessary to examine them thru
a telescope.
1t seems that everybody wasn't pleased to
see me attached to the oilers position.
Well, bring on your successor mechanics.
l am perfectly willing to retire to be &C
comodating me?
While making excavations for new side
walks one of the local crew of muckers un-
earthed the petrihed bone of prehistoric
Dingbat, which proves that there are still
some fossils among US.
"What is the aurora s?'-Anxious
This is the botanical name of a species OF
hog. The name is derived from boar, a
gentleman hog, and Aurora, ILL.,, the town
where they are cultivated.
Another deadly French bomb has been
invented that kills everything within hail
ing distance with suddeness that is almost
startling. 1t mows down the enemy faster
than the trained war correspondent. Its
inventor has named it the 'canard.
The sanest scheme yet evolved by labor
ties for fighting Rockefeller is the proposal
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10
M ! R R 0 R E ES
December 10th.

December 10th.
And Christmas pretty soon.
And the snow flakes have been flying
during the month.
Warden Reed paid our humble sanctum
visit one day during the early part of the
week.
Deputy Warden Sullivan made a business
trip to St. Paul last Wednesday morning,
returning later in the day.
H. B. Whittier made his usual trip to
Red Wing last Saturday evening. He
hopes to go there also next Saturday,
weather permitting.
Mr.. Westby is now acting in the capacity
as guard of the Mirror office. Formerly,
Mr.. Westby was guard in the officer S
kitchen. What is their loss is our gain.
The occupant of cell 389-B wishes to
know whether or not anyone has the follow
ing books: The Better Man and The In
side of the Cup. These two books are
personal property and the occupant of said
cell wishes them to be returned at once.
Officer Ouinlan asked Ot1cer Lahore If
he knew what had become of the other
torch. Mr.. Lahore told him that he did
not know unless the one he (Oficer Ouinlan)
had in his hand was the torch he was re-
ferring to. Look out for that gray squirrel.
You are next.
Notice-The Deputy Warden wishes to
inform all inmates that on and after this
date all personal towels, socks handker
chiefs and night shirts will be delivered to
owners cell, and will NOT be issued as
heretofore on bathing day. And still further
we are informed that no inmate shall bring
from his cell any articles such as towels,
shoes, etc., and leave them in the hallway
leading to the dining room.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10
UNCLE COSHDINC'S SAYINGS

received your favor of the German pa
pers, Uncle John, for which, VieIen Dank!
met Rooshian report ov a great victory
was last seen goin towards Petro6ed on a
pair ov clutches. lookin' dazed- like!
Choosin' between bein' bald headed an
havln' noisy an exajierated pheet, give
me inherent, an flamboyant, badness!
Their Rooshians are now positively, goin'
ter inaugurate and undertake to begin an
commence to start to advance on Cracow!
Tibet likeable little music lover, Duke,
likes Their band boys an their renditions
as we'll es Their inmates, the way he hangs
Ground when they play.
Yes, Looie Sweitzerkase, Prsemisyl is
the Rooshion for servalatwurst an kartoffel-
salad, an thets why the Germans air so
doggon hard to pry loose from it.
Why let regret swat yer in Their eye with
hunk ov soap, and cause tears, when yer
Gin get Their same sensation with less mental
circumlOcution at Their barber shop?
Yep. One ov Their bellijerents is goin'
ter see tibet Their Kaiser gifts no more tea
| from Their nootral nations, This is sad
an heavy blow. but may be Their Kaiser hes
| beer and pretzles ernuf to survive it.
Eff We git up ov mornin' swelled with
a crouch, don't let it slop over an splash
on an inherent neighbor; he, 2, may be
suffeIn' the infatin' pains of crouch,
but is more ov man by holdin' ther lid on
it,.
If We DINING room contortionist who
daily exhibits his phenomenal knowledge
OF able-caliSthenics would censor the sur
Plusage, ye defendant could endure the
gustatory vim of we culprit, with genufec-
tlOuS equanimity.
hermit living, or rather, alternating
In Kentuky cave: has this legend chalked
upon a rock above it, 1.-The more see of
men, the more | love my dogs!' He
should have added But that more than
the dogs can say of MEL
Uh huh: we editor is daily lookin' ter
see how his shadder is'a dwindlin' 10 thor
thickness ov a string. His highbrow-
staff, hev, after wheighty consultation,
decided ter take his shadder over to ther
upholsterer an hev it stuffed.
There all two kinds ov nootrality:- the
kind tibet affects ther pocket book ov Their
greedy, an Their kind tibet affects Their spir
it ov humanity. From observation we find
the former conscientiuosly adhered to,
which is more than we Gin say of the latter.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10
SHOP H TWISTERS
By e. M.

In England, they call confirmed pessimists,
Dismal Jimmies.'i Don't be ''Dismal
Jimmie"
Four men from this shop, joined the owls
and are now working nights.
Ye scribe has been made baller oiler, to
take the place of Frank, who has joined the
owl brigade.
Agriculture Department experts who think
they have seen pink oysters, probably hail
from a wet state.
Nothing less than eigh, countries at war
could have made some women attend to
their knitting.
Yes, B., agree with you, the chef must
have got the coffee in the wrong kettle, or
else he was trying to show us what we are
missing by being here.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10

Dutch Charley made up half dozen
signs for the F. NJ. warehouse during the
week, giving them the classy finish notice.
able in all of his work.
Washington Slim modified his army the
other day, and made desperate tack up
on the French lines. IT'S rumored that he
was repulsed with severe losses. Lift the
censorship, Slim.
Foreman Plaster, of the F. M. paint de-
partment, had a stockade built about his
private Office during the week. Finished
in old mahogany, tool
Asst. Deputy Warden Whelan is something
of diplomatist. Of course we didn't want
to hurt the feelings of Guards Tally, Clum,
etc.. but, honest. Deputy, someone ought
to show them what real drill squad looks
like.
Beau Esprita wants to know of good
continuance for keeping lead pencil behind
the ear, Why not place the pencil on the
uppe: surface of the ear, in parallel posi-
ton, and then lay brick or other heavy
weight upon it? If necessary, you might
bolt the brick in place, or erect stout rail
about the outer rim of the ear, to prevent
slipping.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10
ELEVATOR PICKUPS
By 3. W. k.

And the way we drill amt slow. Four
abreast, some class, Ell?
Say George, why that smile? We know
they met but--nuff sed.
Not much chicken around here, but eggs
will show up Easter however.
No. 1892 would like to know how to
pronounce, Tordenskjoldovbek
Several new men were assigned to the
Irvine factory last week. Shop d. getting
their share as usual
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10
IMPORTANT NOTICE.

All inmates are requested to inform their
friends that eatables of any kind, tooth
paste, hair tonic and talcum powder, ETC.,
are articles not permitted on Christmas.
Socks, shoes, underwear and the like are
permissible at any time. Kindly inform
your friends of this fact that nothing will
be sent to you that you can not have or
that is not permitted. Do not forget.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10

Eliminates are hereby requested
when writing, to place their register
numbeI and page number on the
upper right hand corner of the en-
velope, in the space to be covered
by the stamp. Your page number
will be found written with a lead
pencil on all incoming letters.
Compliance with this request will
cause letters to be mailed promptly.
Also, inmates are cautioned against
writing between the lines, and be
careful to sign your full names to all
letters.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10

Lots of times if Dad has a big
family depending on him. he says
he is enjoying the best of health
when he feels sick and tired two
thirds of the time.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10
inmates Attention !!

All inmates who buy or have
sent in to them socks, underwear,
nightshirts, bath towels, handker-
chiefs, etc., should send them to
the laundry and have your number
marked on them before using.
Write your name, register number
and cell number on slip of paper,
attach to articles and give to cell
hall captain.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10
CATCHING GOLD

If you have a task to do.
Do it now; it's up to you!
If you fool around and fuss
Do not blame it on to us.
If tomorrow you should fall,
Or be in line for the 2:30 call,
Or be barred from baseball,
Or be quartered in the school hall.
So if to perform you have task,
Do not daily mere questions to ask
But do it now!
THE WONDERS OF SCIENCE
"a Fable for Journalists
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-10

to encourage the manufacture of alcohol by
dry farmers. Any ranchman could plant a
few acres of rye or bourbon and thus add
to the spiritual wealth of the country.
If all the beans raised in Minnesota this
year were placed end to end they would
reach from Minneapolis to Constantinople,
Turkey. Eating at the rate of beans per
second, it would take hen 8, TAB years, IL
hours and IL seconds to eat her way to the
end of this vast string of pent-up energy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-09-27
The South's Greatest Fair

The Birmingham State Fair which opens tomorrow will be the greatest fair ever held in the south. It will continue two weeks and every day should witness vast crowd in attend ance. The weather is ideal. Although it is too early for frost these cool nights and these days of hay air suggest Indian summer.
 Our country cousins are our most popular visitors at any season of the year, and during the State Fair for maj as we'll as an individual welcome awaits them. In honor of our out-of- town friends Birmingham will be in gala dress, and the visitors will, it is believed, feel more than ever attached to this city.
 In years past county and so-called state fairs, as educational as they were in some degree, presented little variety. The average fair-goer could see all there was to be seen in a day. It is not so now. The agricultural ex- hibits are extensive enough and inn portant enough to compel the attention of all intelligent persons. Several days could be spent profitably in inspecting  the fine bred cattle and hogs, to say nothing of the other exhibits.
 The poultry display will be the largest ever assembled in this state and will be. worth especial attention on the part of amateur chicken raisers as well as those who are commercially en- gagged in the poultry business.
 But if there be any people who att tend the fair indifferent to the won deYful resources of the state the amusement features alone will be we'll worth the price of admission. These attractions will justify visit to the fair every afternoon and every even ing. The management has striven hard to make this great show fair, and in music and free acts it will easily surpass anything heretofore att tempted.