Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-07-12

yN ~ s: :Ss;ss ri: hat ;:; ss
81
the wild-eyed mar
over his shoulder as he Hoped toward the
door.
That was bad shot responded the
Observer, as he picked up his hat. Come
back and have another try. With bettel
aim your ought to be able to do serious
damage"
But all this was lost, for the wild-eyed
man had already reached the door and
was racing down the avenue. The OBJ
server stepped into an upgoing elevator
Stepped in is conservative way of put
ting it, He started to step in with dignity
and calm. but when he was about two
thirds through stepping the elevator man
started his car and slammed the door
With a yelp of indignation the Observe,
bounded forward. bringing his left leg
of the elevator man.
You know painted the Observer lit is
useless for person to ride in an elevator
IN sections No one can hope to 20 sue
cessful1y through life If he leaves an
arm or leg behind him every time he
takes an elevator ride Any competent
physician will attest to the truth of this
statement
You oughter moved sooner" replied
the elevator man. surlily. We amt got
an day: here He was still brooding ovSr
ms failure to get the Observers left LEI
He had counted SO on making an early
start, that day.
Arriving in the office of the editor. the
observer was greeted with an unearth-
~ scowl. Compared to the editors ex-
preston. a Chinese war mask Is a thing
of beauty and a joy forever
You, growled the editor, ARE fifteen
minutes late"
nat are fifteen minutes philoso-
pi1eu the observer, when you recall
mat there are sixty minutes in an hour
and twenty-four hours in a day:" He
warmed to his subject Let us not for
get. he continued. that there are seven
DAYS In week. ifty-two weeks in a
year and that the span of life for q
man who lives simply and sanely-
which You do not-is seventy years Have
you ever thought of the number Of If
Teen Teen 1 minutes that you can crowd into
If ever have heard Thomas W. Rot
enunciated by a human parrot" said the
editor. irrelevantly. this is it,
Some men. when confronted with un-
rough stuff The Observer changed the
subject.
What is the great idea that is dis
turbing your gigantic intellect this morn
tng? he inquired.
Il want you to get some information
for me-" said the editor. and outlined
what he was pleased to compliment by
the word Ideas
And" concluded the editor, 81 shan
expect you back!''
This last statement had all the cheer
full potentialities Of an invitation to come
out and be hanged. The Observer went
out and left the editor earnestly assur-
ing his next patient an elderly lady
that while a great newspaper OCCASION
ally makes mistakes 1t never willfully
misspells the names Of seven widely
known citizens in one story.
y
Arriving at the street level, the OBJ
server loitered in front of the doors and
glanced at the passing throng. There
was something fascinating about the
way people were rushing along Each and
every one of them suggested a combina-
tion of relative-hurryinE-t o-hear-the-will-
of -dear-oldU ncle-Silas and man-who-is-
leaving-town-one- jump ahead Of the
police.
Along came a little man with an ex-
preston reminiscent of the rabbit II
Alice in Wonderland. the effect being
heightened by his nervous examination OF
a small silver watch as he rushed along
You could see his little mind was pal
pitating with the single thought, II mus,
rush and get through with it,
Signing over the nervous tension tina,
seemed to have strained all persons to
the breaking point, the Observer climbed
YEARLY aboard car and pumped dowr
beside member of Congress. At first the
member of Congress did not see him, but
soon the Observer had called him
Judge the congressman turned with q
beaming smile and extended his hand
Remember this-if YOU want to turn g
member of Congress into the embodimen,
of beaming politeness always refer te
him as Judge.
The Judge had a copy of a bulky
morning paper spread over his bulky lap
The Judge is bulky sort of a mar
generally-rather gives the suggestion o,
well fed and kindly elephant and ar
unalterabIe opponent of speed Noticing
that the Judges" paper was spread Out
at the sporting page. the Observer in
ouired just how much he had read of tn.
contents.
Every line to page ten. replied the
Judge proudly You know. young
man. l am very rapid reader. II
school
When the Judge starts on the dea,
works his way through the crime of =:
and up to the Spanish-American war
Therefore 1t is wisest to sidetrack him.
How long does it take you?" inquired
the Observer.
NO time. no time responded tn
Judge" briskly. Then. proceeding: ="
arise each morning at $50 o'clock. Within
twenty minutes I have bathed, dressed
and shaved"
He did not need to tell anybody tina
he had shaved. The left side of his fac
suggested that he had been in a terrible
accident and had been cut up by tn
flying glass.
Then" he went on, ct take my morn
ing paper to the breakfast table with me
For breakfast I have eggs and coffee an,
rolls. They can be consumed in a shor
time
THAT is true" agreed the Observer
"A soft-boiled egg, next to a restaurant
portion of fresh asparagus, can be con
sumed quicker than anything I know
Of
During this time went on tn
Judge" II am glancing over the pa
pers. noting the proceedings OF the da,
before and mentally checking any item
OF particular interest After a shor