Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1914-02-05

DEACON AND The OXEN
BY M. QUAD.

Wnen certain April morning WEE
ushered In with the songs OF happy
robins and the squeals OF hungry
pigs. but they had been leaning trat
way" for the last year. They had
been widow and widower for upwards
OF three years. For a year or more
the deacon had been in the habit OF
dropping in two or three times a
week and exhibiting something more
than neighborly interest, and 1t was
noticeable that the widow used bit
more hair dye than formerly, and was
more solcitous about the freckles on
her face The neighboys had 1t that
the thing was all settled, but they
were a little too previous. The dea-
con was man who never bought a
COW, signed a note, traded of horse
or got new pump for the we'll with
out careful deliberation, and on her
part the widow was willing TO wait
and study him bit
Therefore, while there was tacit
and mutual understanding that in due
time the deacon would boss both
farms, and the widow to boot and that
she would darn his socks and make
his bread in housewifely way. he
hadn't asked her straight from the
shoulder if she would be his,
On tat certain April morning re-
| ferred TO as a date to start from, the
| deacon dropped in to borrow a hoe,
| and the widow incidentally observed
that her garden ought to be plowed.
| He agreed but as his team of horses
| was busy, and as the widows hired
man was preparing field for corn
with her own, he decided TO go over
and borrow neighbor Johnson's yoke
| of oxen to do the work Farmer John
son was willing to lend his oxen, his
| pillow or anything else around the farm
that was portable, but before yoking
| the bovines up he rather cautiously
| observed:
Deacon, | don't remember that you
ever owned a yoke of oxen yourself"
NO. | never have" was the reply
And mebbe you never used any
| body else's to plow WITH"
Il can't say that | ever did"
Wall, oxen amt exactly like horses,
| you know-not exactly. They some
times get streaky and act up, and
you've got to humor EN-. Coaxin'
Will sometimes do the biZness, and
then, again, you'll have to put on the
CAD. II you was only in the habit OF
usin' few cuss words I'd feel purity
sure you would come out all right,
but mebbe you viii, anyhow. Well
yoke EN- up and start you off in no
time"
1t was only half a mile from Far
mer Johnson's to the Widow Harris
but the deacon was a long time in
making the trip back with the oxen,
and ne arrived with the look of a
man who had been in trouble The
widow noticed his perturbation and
solicitously inquired:
did you stub your toe or lose your
hat or anything?"
"Of course not What makes you
ask"
Because you look so hustered
Mebbe you are going to break out
with the hives If I was you would
take the blowing kind O. easy
The deacon lnuttered some reply
under his breath. and after a brief
rest the work of blowing the garden
began. That is, he thought 1t had, but
he was mistaken. The plow point had
scarcely entered the rich soil of the
old tomato bed when the oxen turned
to the left with a rush and would have
gone clear across the garden had they
not been stopped by plum tree.
by hen, but did anybody ever see
the likes of that" exclaimed the dea-
con, as he held on to the pillow han
dies and followed along on the jump.
What's the matter deacon" asked
the widow from the open kitchen win
dow.
'Nuthin-nuthin tall" was the re-
ply THE oxen Jest come over here
to see whether this was a peach or a
plum tree"
ooh. they did, Ell? Pear TO be a
pretty smart yoke OF oxen"
Farmer Johnson had said that coax
AAlb Nphlh 0OlhCtAAtltN uo llit DuSllltSS,
and Deacon Shortwell proceeded to
coax. After he had made use of about
5000 of the most honeyed words in
the English language he got the oxen
back to the starting point. and then
plowed a furrow almost ten feet long
before making their next rush This
time they turned to the right and fled
over the spot where cucumbers used
to grow and brought up against the
fence with a bang
Now, by gum but what they need
is to have their horns knocked off
with a club" muttered the deacon
Hey, but was that thunder?" asked
the widow, as she thrust her head out
again.
81 didn't hear no thunder" the plow-
man replied, knowing that she re-
ferred TO the crash against the fence
''WNll this is the month for thun
der storms, and ] didn't know but one
was coming up What are the oxen
doing over there"
Looking over the fence"
We'll, let en- look. ! suppose that
oxen want to look around and see
what's going on as well as other