davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26
NOT A PROMISING MARKET
Seaslckness Probably Responsible for
Actors Disposition of Cargo
of Potatoes.

The late William III. Smith of man
agerial fame and Charley Backus OF
minstrel fame many years ago EN-
barked from San Francisco for Aus
tralia on business venture.
The captain of the boat. who was
an intimate friend OF each. suggested
that the voyagers lay in a cargo OF
potatoes to dispose OF on their arrival
there. The "Murphys" were accord
ingly purchased and placed on board
Now, Mr.. Backus was always recog-
nized as n great comedian, but with
the deck OF a ship instead OF a stage
as his rostrum he wasn't so funny
In short, Mr.. Backus was seasick.
Mr.. Smith proved An excellent sailor,
and while Backus was stretched out
on a chair Smith said, Charley, In
case you die, what shall / do with
those potatoes?"
And Poor Backus, who thought he
was dying, said: go to hades with
them"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26
NEW EXPERIENCE FOR BARBER
First Time He Had Shaved Man
Whose Face Had an Equal
Growth OF Hair.

Capt. w. V. Lucas. who was an OFF,
Ger in the Fourteenth Iowa regiment.
tells an amusing story OF an incident
that occurred during General Prices
raid into Missouri in the last year of
the Civil war. The story appears in
Pilot Knob by Messrs. G. A. Peter
son and j. Nj. Hanson.
ON arriving at Pilot Knob the aft
ernoon before the engagement OF the
Twcnty-seventh, / went into a barber
shop to be shaved. Suddenly, when
the barber had shaved only onehalf
OF my face, the long roll was beaten.
| left my chair instantly, and reached
my company, half n block away, with
one side of my face shaved smooth,
whereas the other displayed q two
weeks growth OF beard. i did not
complete the shave until six days
afterward, when a colored barber did
the Job at Rollo. 70 miles away
While working the dirt and sand out
of the long side the fellows curiosity
was excited. until he could no longer
refrain from comments.
nevah see q face befo', sab, said
he. dat one side was richer dan de
odder; but yo's is. suah!'
My explanation seemed to afford
him great relief."-Youth's Compan-
ion
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26
NEW IDEA
Helped Wisconsin Couple.

II doesn't pay 10 stick too closely
to old notions Of things New ideas
often lead to better health. succesD
and happiness.
A Wis. couple examined an idea
new to them and stepped up several
rounds on the health ladder. The
husband writes:
Several years ago we suffered from
coffee drinking, were sleepless. nerv-
Gus, sallow, weak and irritable. Ny
wife and both loved coffee and
thought It was n bracer." (Deluslon)
Finally, after years OF suffering. we
read Of Postum and the harmfulness
Of coffee. and believing that 20 grow
We should give some attention to new
ideas, we decided TO test Postum.
when we made II right we liked
- and we're free OF Ills caused by
coffee. Our friends noticed the
change-fresher skin. sturdler nerves,
better temper. etc.
These changes were not sudden,
but increased as we continued TO
drink and enjoy Postum, and we lost
the desire for coffee.
Many OF our friends did not like
Postum at first. because they did not
make II right But when they made
Postum according 70 directions on
pkg they liked Il better than coffee
and were benefited by the change"
Name given by Postum Co, Battle
Creek Mich. Read "The Road TO
MELVILLE" in pkgs.
Postum now comes In two forms:
Regular Postum-must be well
boiled 15c and 25c packages.
Instant Postum--ls a soluble pow
der. Made IN the cup with hot water
no boiling. zoe and soc tins.
The cost per cup of both kinds is
about the same.
"Taere's a Reason" for Postum.
sold By Crocers.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26
The New CatechIsm.

A well-known doctor OF Savannah
has two children-a little daughter,
aged six, and a small son. aged four.
One day he overheard the little girl
putting her brother through an exam.
nation In Bible history.
DO you know who the first man
and the first woman were?"
"Yeth, do" lisped the boy.
I'll bet you don't know their
Names" pressed the sister.
TN bet do" replied the little fell
low.
Well. what were their names. then
Mr.. Smarty?"
EDEN and ABB" ansA ered the little
boy.-Saturday Evening Post.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26
Some Headline.

At the time OF the Volturno dis
aster a literary critic for a certain
New York newspaper was acting as
substitute for a copy reader who was
III. II fell TO him to write head for
the sctory of the disaster. The story
was full OF thrills. of course. and he
was told to condense them all in n big
black line TO extend across the page.
leading the paper.
He thought for some time. tore up
several attempts, and finally submitted
this: 20 Restless Sea-"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26
His Method. Exactly

The teacher in an East side school
was reproducing Tommy. who had
licked" Heine In satisfaction for a
grievance. Tommy's penitence was az
low ebb and teachers goldenrule
admonishing fell on unreceptive ears.
But at last she struck n responsive
note.
THE right way TO treat your enc
mics. Tommy" che said. rs to heap
Goals of fire on his head"
Yes. ma'am. that's ies what done"
said Tommy, Frightening. 81 give bin
ELL"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26
Cultured Tramp.

There came to the kitchen door OF
certain household in Philadelphia a
ragged hobo, who took his stand
against the doorjamb and gazed long
ingly at food displayed on the kitchen
table.
You look strong" suggested the
lady of the house. Are you equal to
the task OF saving and splitting half a
cord of wood?"
Equal to II, madam" said the
tramp. with a courtly bow. The ex-
preston is inadequate. l am superior
to It."
And he went away.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26
All In cnn,n

All that we have IS Gods lie made
Us. and not we ourselves. Every good
gift and every perfect gift has come
down from the father OF lights. with
whom is no variableness. neither shad.
ow that is cast by turning. lie gave
us all the temporal goods VIC possess
houses, lands and hocks And he
also gave US his own son. the one
gift that exhausted the Infinite re-.
sources Of heaven. Therefore al that
We have Of earthly good, or spiritual
blessing. comes to us from God We
gro his stewards
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26
Three Woods In ona Ire

Civil Engineer F. T. Moore, presi-
dent OF a scientific society of Win
sted, Conn, reports an unusual find
in the woods Of Barkhamsted, where
he felled tree containing three spe-
Gle in one. The butt of the tree
was oak, the middle chestnut, and the
top hemlock. Mr. Moore is also a
church member-Boston Herald.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26
The Old Idea.

What makes you so >late?" asked
his mother.
The teacher kept me in because l
couldn't find Moscow on the map of
Europe" replied Johnnie.
Mother-And no wonder you couldn't
ind Moscow. 1t was burned down in
1872. It's an outrage TO treat child
that way.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26
THINK OF THE MILLIONS

that have been relieved in the past rs
years by Wrlght's Indian Vegetable
Pills and decide whether they are not
worth a trial. They regulate the
bowels, stimulate the liver and purify
the blood. Adv.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26
To Make Mucilaae

A mucilage which holds with sur
prising tenacity can be made by boil
Ing Spanish onion for a short time
and then pressing the juice from It.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26
Building Character.

We prepare ourselves for sudden
deeds by the reiterated choice Of good
or evil that gradually determines char.
acter-George Eliot.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26

On the other hand, The way OF the
transgressor frequently seems TO be
pretty smooth
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26
ANo News.

Pretty mafden. It is on the cards
that you are going to marry"
OF course 1t is, when we've just
sent them out"
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26

YOUR OWN DRUGGIST WILL TELL YOU
Try Murine Eyo Remedy for Red, Weak. Watery
just Eye Comfort Write for Book Of the I'VE
by mail Free. Murine Eys Kennedy Co, Chicago
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26

Smile on wash day. That's when ynz. use
Red Cross Ball Blue Clothes whltsF thar
snow. All 0rocers. Adv.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26

Women outnumber the men In New
York, Berlin. Paris and London.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26

No, Cordelia, squall at sea and one
In the nursery are not synonymous.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26

Red Cross Ball Blue. much better. goes
farther than liquid blue Get from any
grocer Adv.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26

placed aayrasrs -
tracts alf kllfs 81
dief Ntaf c.ea Or
uamcntai convenient
cheap. Laat l1J
seaaou Ead 90
m sl. can fpiHcF ~
over viii not eos -
81 uiurF any O. no
Guarantg3 tnc eve
Afidoaiara orc ~
exprCfs fo'1 fcffi e
Ace rfesllyI, d A.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-08-26

"Earth's crammed with heaven.
And every common bush afire with God
But only he who sees takes of his shoes .
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-01-06
CONSIDER THE HEN.

The hen fruit OF Iowa would 90
long way toward buying all the other
fruit raised in the state. The hens Of
Iowa working along on time could buy
the whole state of Nevada, including
her politicians. and nay off the deb.
in few years. The poultry of Iowa
produced more than the farrnlands of
one or two northwestern states that
might be mentioned but will not be-
cause of the feelings Of Iowa men who
have invested their poultry money
there. In the general roundup Of the
$4,000. 100000 which represents the
total Of all American farm products for
the year the cackling hen stands all
most horse high and hog wide. But
one bird stands out in bold relief above
her-the American eagle and he
doesn't lay.
While everything else has improved
the hen has not been idle. While the
COW pony horse of earlier days has
given place TO the majestic percheron
and the scrawny cattle Of the past have
been supplanted by straight backed
Shorthorns and whitefaced, reetangu-
bar Herefords, the hen mas held her
own in the march Of progress The
hen of today is one of the best corrob-
orations Of the urgency of the eugen-
lists.
Those who are old enough remem-
Der the Shanghai chicken. A shang-
hal rooster Of those days stood four
feet high and three inches thru, a
towering structure Of neck and legs
and mighty bones planted upon feet
that spread eight inches in all direc-
tons He bore precisely enough mus
cular tissue to enable him to stand
upright and crow. OF adipose there
WAS none. He sta1ked about the barn
yard like . figure from the Wizard Of
O. and could Dut Hyench thru gar
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-01-06
TERMS:
A Cheerful Heart.


A cheerful heart-and that's my creed!
A cheerful heart each day
To heal the bitter wound that bleed
Along the weary way.
a cheerful heart. lifting song
To scatter sunshine mid the throng.
A cheerful heart-and that's my style!
4 cheerful heart again
To light with hope the lips that smile
In sympathy with men.
A cheerful heart thru all the care
To lift US from the grim despair.
A cheerful hearr-and that's the word!
A cheerful heart and sweet,
The whistle of the mochingbird
Across the young green wheat.
A cheerful heart, with all it brings
OF trust that helps and faith that
cEngs
A cheerful heart-and that's the best!
A cheerful heart 10 keep
The soul from sinking where life casts
rs shadows on the deep.
A cheerful heart-and. Oh. it's spell
To help the toiling day go we'll!
Baltimore Sun.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-01-06
Looker-On In Iona

Hampton Jan. 6.-New Years day is
fast becoming the business mans rest
day, that is in Iowa. Every other hoii-
day seems to bring an extra amount OF
work, previous to the holiday itself,
but New Years Is becoming the day
when the business man having worked
312 days closes his place of business.
sits down in the rocking chair at home.
draws a long breath, and thanks God
he Is alive.
The usual expressed fear. eve shall
not put UP any ice In Iowa this year
Is beginning to be heard. While 1t 10
true some rivers and lakes have az
forded good skating. on the first week
Of January in lows 1t IS doubtful II
any Ice IL over four inches in thick
ness However all hope 10 not lost, for
the Ice men are getting everything
ready for putting up the crop - soon
a. inch ice can be cut. It's safe
proposition to state, Iowa always har-
vests two crops; corn and Ice.
.
Minnesota is also claiming California
weather. The lakes In central and
lower Minnesota show the same thin
Ice and open spots In the center. st.
Paul and Minneapolis, especially In the
suburbs, are afflicted with dust
plague. A deposit Of thin dust an inch
or more in thickness 10 everywhere. 1t
covers the porches and Sits into the
millionaire'D residence almost as easily
as the wage Gamers home. For obvi-
Gus reasons the streets can not be
spsink.ed in January. And In sweep
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-01-06
ARour THE SIZE OF II.

Jack Dalton, Of the Manson Demo-
Graf. and a candidate for the United
States narshalship Of the northern dis
trict, has given up hope of receiving
the appointment, having discovered he
saws in his newspaper that the depart
.nent of justice would not appoint
Catholic TO that position. Mr.. Dalton
adds that he has no apology to make
for his religion.
Mr.. Dalton has no need to apologize
either for his faith or for his dernoc-
racy. He is a faithful Catholic and a
dependable democrat. Neither has the
department need for apology except the
expression OF regret that it feels that
1t can not appoint such men az Mr..
Dalton to office as a reward OF long
and faithful labor among the ranks OF
the unterriied.
The impression would be unfair were
it to obtain that the administration re-
fuses 70 appoint man to office merely
because of his religious and church af-
hliation. Louis Murphy, one of the
first appointees is Catholic. born I'M
der a Catholic roof in a Catholic town
and nurtured in the faith. Judge Van
Wagenen In also Catholic and an
early appointee. 1t appears that the
leading candidates for politica! ap-
pointment under the present admin
istration are Catholics. Dalton and
Hogan are both Catholics. The rea-
sonable inference then would DE that
down because they are Catholics nut
because other Catholics beat them to it
and filed the quota. No doubt the ad-
ministration does not consider 1t good
politics to fill the official place. under
the department Of justice entirely with
Catholics. No doubt it would hesitate
as well to fill them with protestants
alone.
1t Is very sensible thing to keep de-
nominat:onal religion out Of politics as
nearly as may be. There liz no occasion
to raise outcry because Tumulty is a
member of one church and another
close adviser of the president belongs
to another creed. because one appointe.
insists on going to heaven with one
crowd and another chooses his own
company. There isn't a lick of sense
in fussing over creeds any way, and
political division along religious lines
never brought men or nations any
thing
The hard thing about the whole bus
mess is that men who have borne the
heat and burden of the day." who have
fought in the ranks as volunteers in an
apparently hopeless cause should in
the moment of victory largely acct
IDENTIFY, be deprived of their chance Of
such loot as is lying around loose and
be set doing fatigue duty.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-01-06

den plot or flower bed quicker than
a patent ditcher could work thru q
chip pile. His crow was hoarse and
raucous. His manner an insult. His
usefulness as a table bird mainly IA
vorable to the dentists Of those days
whose work was as coarse as the
rooster. His hen was his natural mate.
She had all her husbands Ill looks and
poor quality. Now and then she laid
an egg. incidentally as 1t were when
other pleasures palled.
Then there We're rumpless chickens.
dominique chickens. mixtures of all
breeds between Asia and the Arctic
circle, OF all colors and shapes and
sizes and dispositions and all Of them
hanging on to the edge of farming like
a colony Of tramps on the edge Of
town. They stole their nests in the
weed patches. hid them in the straw
piles, Matched when they felt like it
and dragged weary and be- draggled
train OF chicks here and there like a
family OF tourist paupers. They in
sisted on sitting on nothing in the horse
managers. They refused to roost any
where but over the harness in sum-
nler and on the highest trees in the
coolest winter weather. Outcast. out
law, self condemned and cursed by the
hired men the hen of the last century
existed.
And now she takes her place proud
~ among the assets of her country,
given precedence Of gold mines. When
she strikes a universal wall goes up.
when designing men corner her pro-
duct in cold storage there is wild
clucking and ruffling OF neck feathers
in households from New York to San
Diego No longer outcast she lives in
warm mansions especially constructed.
demands warm food. matches her eggs
with tncubators and warns them with
that hens hired girl, brooder.
Cotton was king once. Corn has
been king long. The American hog has
made congressman and administrations
ard caused international complications.
But the hen is queen alone. the hen
which but a few short years ago fought
for the scattered corn of the barn
yards, and was ANONYMOUSLY kicked
from the stable door and denied en-
trance or shelter anywhere and "a.ca
took her chance with chicken eating
hogs in the lee of the strawpile. the
hen has risen TO queenship like the
beggar maid who married the KING.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-01-06
co11os ACTS WHILE CORN TALKS.

While Iowa talks about her Lincoln
Highway and her River to River road.
and talks and talks, the old state Of
Tennessee has been building hers. II
is soe miles long from end to end of
the state, as long as the Lincoln High
way and the River TO River road in
Iowa put together and it will be open
for traffic next summer.
How did they do ~ Bonus from
automobile manufacturers? No Money
from the federal government for post
roadso No. Money from the state?
Not much How did they do it then?
Oh. that's easy in an enlightened state.
The road passes thru twenty three
counties. Each county voted bonds
and built its own section of the state
road under the supervision Of the state
highway commission which was as
sisted by two highway engineers sent
from Washington.
Down in Tennessee where land can be
bought for s25 per acre and where
mountain ranges must be crossed all
they had to do to get a great state
road put to a s per cent grade and
paved with rock for its entire length
of s02 miles, twice as long as any one
road ever talked about in Iowa, was to
put it up to each county interested and
the counties voted bonds. Today two
thirds Of the entire road has been COM
pleted and next summer It will all be
open to traffic.
The Memphis-Bristol highway run
ming from Memphis TO Bristol east and
west across the belt strip state
Of Tennessee passes thru twenty
three counties and touches sew
enty-twe towns wherein are To-
Gated the state soldiers home, two
state normal schools. the state capital
the state metropolis and the federal
cemetery al Murfreesboro besides many
other points Of historical interest and
including much country Of scenic
grandeur equal to that OF a tour in
Switzerland. Altho the counties built
the road there was intense competition
and rivalry to secure the location of
the continuous route and in the end
the great city OF Chattanooga lost out
before a more direct route by way of
Knoxville. The engineers relocated the
improved road in many places which
meant the abandonment OF the old
road site for more favorable route
thru private property but in every case
the new sites were donated so great
was the enthusiasm Of the people along
the line that property owners were only
TOO glad to give rights OF way for
stone road to be built thru their land.
But this was done in old Tennessee.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-01-06
spot. Automobiles running in the
suburbs raise dust equal to race ON
q dry track at the fair grounds.

spot. Automobiles running in the
suburbs raise . dust equal to race ON
q dry track at the fair grounds.
go
st. Paul now has meat market OPP
Grated on fashionable style. On one OF
the principal streets there was recently
opened the Canadian meat market,
nominally to handle cheaper beef be-
cause OF the taking of Of the tariff.
Knowing ones say they buy their
dressed beef OF American packers the
same as other dealers. But they omit
three customary things, common in
other ST. Paul shops and for that mat
ter customary in all Iowa towns OF a
thousand inhabitants. First all meat Is
sold for spot cash. Cash registers do
all Of the bookkeeping. Secondly. there
10 no trimming done. no bones taken
out or fat cut off. They will do any
and all OF these things for customer
after the piece OF meat Is weighed. not
before. And lastly there is no delivery.
The employees are not allowed to take 1t
to the waiting automobile or corner
street car. Pure democracy reign-buy
your meat, pay your cash and carry It
away yourself. Here are some Of the
prices for Christmas week: Porter
holse steak 15 cents pound. roasts
12k: boiling pieces s to 10 cents
pound. dressed chickens Is cents, leg
Of veal Is cents. dressed geese II cents
a pound. Good housewives save 40 to
so cents on a roast Of beef after paying
car fare. that IS when they personally
go after their meat at this place. rather
than order a roast CT beef by phone
from the high toned butcher shops. or
the quality OF the meat there is no
question. II it's Canadian beef it's as
good as American beef. And the pa
tronage is so large people fall in line.
like the crowd at the pcstoffice Just
before the window is opened. The day
before Christmas the lines extended
out to the sidewalk. All this Is men,
toned here as possibly II will suggest
something to sellers and buyers In
Iowa.
Pure food laws. inspectors and public
sentiment are changing some practices
In our meat markets. Our oysters arr
now sold out of enclosed packages.
Many shops have glass covered coun-
ters and this winter 1t Is becoming a
common thing for the front and hind
quarters Of beef. veal carcasses.
dressed hogs and poultry. usually hung
on hooks in the front room in cold
weather, now are covered with clean
cotton cloth, reaching over all the ex-
posed meat. In Northwood in one shop
forty dressed turkeys were a tempting
sight as the proprietor lifted the clean
cloth TO show prospective purchasers.
Speaking &C prices :: .!:a: :own, %
cents bought pound OF Christmas
turkey. and in many smaller towns live
turkeys were sold as low as IA to is
cents pound. And these prices were
on the plan Of spot cash and self deliv-
cry.