The Washington herald., 1914-02-19
Statesmen, Real and Near.
BY FRED C KELLY.

beans.
Here is the reason:
crawford spent part of his early youth
In Northeastern Ohio One day he went
on an excursion train to a nearby town
TO hear a prominent orator Of the day
make political speech. He expected to
strike somebody he knew when he got
there and borrow money enough to buy
MS dinner. But he didn't chance to see
familiar face. And he got no dinner.
Then he lost his return ticket and was
Obliged to walk back home-about TWEEN.
ty-hve miles. Still he had had nothing tn
eat When finally he staggered into his
own home, meal time was over. but his
aunt went to the pantry and brought
Out what there was, including large
dish of baked beans. Young Coe ate
heartily of these. just as long as the
supply lasted, and he then and there got
such favorable impression Of the edible
qualities OF baked beans that he has
been more or less rabid bean enthusi-
ast clear down to the present day.
Serene PAM, wro helped Ne:se Aldrich
cook up the late Payne-Aldrich tariff BIZ.
Can coOL a great many other things. He
Is aHpI' capable OF getting up good
Ginner without professional assistance.
Payne's speciality is making strawberr"
shortcake. He can Irepare better crust
Tor strawl erry -shor.cake than anybody IN
Washington. in o: cut of public life.
| Josephus Daniels, Secretary OF the Navy.
| was never complete triumph back in
| his schooldays when 1t came to the study
| OF mathematics. His teachers used to
| feel like going out and barking at the
! trees by the time they got through Civ
ing him an hours instruction in fractions.
He was good enough at other branches,
had many excellent traits. OF character
and all that. but he couldn't tell with
any degree OF certainty whether the
hound would catch the hare in forty
leaps or forty days.
Finally when he got into algebra,
Daniels decided to quit mathematics fiat,
and give his time TO those studies that
were not despoiled with minus and plus
signs.
TN afraid youIl never amount to
enough to wad gun with cheerfully
forecasted his mathematics teacher.
'Oh, ] don't know" ventgred young
Josephus, with optimism. - get along
all right at other things-wheR I'm not
bothered by figures
Yes" said the professor. but 1t has
been my experience that the fellow who
can't get mathematics never makes much
headway."
Years passed. and shortly after he was
married, Daniels went down to Atlanta
TO make a speech. In introducing him
Henry Grady Glanced to talk briefly
about the difficulty OF mastering fractions
and remarked that he had never peen
able to learn how to add IL and 1-9.
Daniels was overjoyed at the discovery
that great man like Henry Grady had
difficulty with mathematics He could
scarcely speak for chuckling. And the
moment he was able to get away from
the platform. he dashed up to hotel
and wrote letter 10 his one-time math-
ematics teacher bOasting about the
trouble Henry Grady had when he at
tempted to add IL and l-S
II that teacher had lived to see Daniels
in the Presidents Cabinet nc might have
died an astOnished man.
Representatives ]. Hampton Moore. of
Pennsylvania. and Frank w Mondon, of
Wyoming, are two of the most inveaer-
ate takers in the House. They can find
a great deal to say on almost any sub
ject-and do. Both sit on the R-pub-
lican side OF the House. but each H. so
eager to spread language over the virgin
pages of the Congressional Record that
they are constantly getting in each
others way like two willing boys trying
to help mother.
The other night Moore gave a big din
ner. Mondell was one of the guests and
was called on for speech. After he
had been talking for while. a strange.
glad light o'erspread his face and he
observed gratefully to the genial and
urbane host:
Il believe this is the first time have
ever talked when you We're present with
out being interrupted
United States Treasurer John Burke.
former governor of North Dakota, Eut
his real start by winning his first teS
cases as a young lawyer.
One of these hinged on the color of a
horse. There was a chattel mortgage.
held by a bank, on a certain horse. and
the mortgage was foreclosed. But the
bank took a black horse, whereas il vas
claimed that the mortgage was on
chestnut horse OF much less value. This
led to a spirited legal controversy. Ore
witness said that the mortgaged norEe |
was black, and another witness said il |
was chestnut. So il was simply a matter |
of determining which witness was the |
most gifted in knowing what a color was |
when he saw it. |
Burke had on an inofIensive suit OF |
clothes that looked black in the shade |
and gray in a strong light
When the witness for the other side |
took the stand Burke asked him several |
questions about his knowledge Of colCrs, |
and inquired in an innOcuous tone:
What's the Color of my suit
Black" replied the witness. For the |
room was dark
That's ALL" snapped Burke in the of;- !
hand but triumphant tone lawyers use |
when they wish to give the impression 1
that they have a neat joke in store for |
the opposition.
He then called the witness for his side |
and asked him the same questions. This
witness said Burke's suit was gray.
When he got ready to make his talk
% the jury, Burke had the bailiff raise
al the window shades so that anybody
,ould see that the suit really was gray.
He paced hack and forth in front of the
ury with a section Of his coat tail in one
land waving 1t frantically in their faces
Ind dwelling on the fact that anybody
vhC said it vas back instead OF gray l
'ould be no fit judge of the color of
horse.
And the jurors sat and blinked solemnly /
md made Up their minds in his favor
Copyright. 1915. by Fred g. Kelly. All rights re-
ssrTrdD |,