The Lamar register., 1914-06-24
JULY
Copyrighted by Clark McAdams

July owes it's name to one of the
most dramatic incidents in history.
After getting his tolls repeal bill
through the Roman senate, Caesar in
sisted upon keeping that body in ses-
sion until it did something about the
trusts. The senate had been in con-
tinuous session for more than a year,
almost every plank in the platform
had been religiously kept, and many
of the senators had already given up
their chautauqua work for one sum-
,mer. The fact that Mark Antony,
Caesars secretary of state. was doing
his chautauqua work on the side,
which the senator's could not do, add
ed bitterness to impatience. Caesar
charged some of the senators with
joining in a business conspiracy to
save the trusts. He said he had re-
ceived thousands of letters from bus
mess men saying that unless they had
peace and quiet for a while everything
would collapse. He accused Brutus,
Casca and others of the opposition
party with having inspired these let
ters, and announced his determination
to keep the senate at work until it
passed his trust bill, if it took all
summer. The next morning, while
passing from the White house to the
senate chamber, he was set upon by
Casca and Brutus and some of their
associates, and assassinated. Thus
perished the greatest reformer the
world had known up to that time, a
soldier, statesman and author. He had
ended the war in Gaul by dividing
that country into three parts, revised
the Roman tariff downward, reformed
the currency, adjusted the canal tolls
controversy with the Persians, and
stuck strictly to business, neither 60
ing bear hunting nor playing golf.
Mark Antony, who preached the fun
eral Grafton, suggested that the month
Of Quintilus, in which he had been
born, become his monument, and the
name of the month was therefore
changed to July. Being rid of Caesar,
the senate adjourned, the trust bill
was abandoned, and Rome fell. Once
mistress of the world, it is now one
Of the little picture postal kingdoms
on the Mediterranean.
The college graduate will wake
From dreams of being in demand,
And p. familias will make
Him hustle as a harvest hand.
The festive calf will swat the fly
With nice precision in its plump,
The territory voted dry
viii sadly rally round the pump,
The fisherman will cast his lot
Where summer skies are soft and
blue,
And the widow will discover that
A one-piece bathing suit will do.
The summer sun will take its place
another season overhead, and all the
area of space will turn a purgatory
red. The iceman dashing to and fro
will sound his reveille at morn, the
farmer while the sun is low will mad
ly gallop through his corn, the mad
dog fleeing from the brook will start
the Marshal shooting slugs, the king
bird on its perch will look for army
worms and doodle bugs, the baseball
parks will bulge with fans exhorting
men to might and main, and the crush
around the soda stands will crack
the onyx with the strain.
The spirit born of Bunker Hill will
fire a few belated shots, and prac-
ticed orators will thrill the populace
on empty lots. The beacon lights of
toy balloons will flash and twinkle in
the night, the stir Of patriotic tunes
will yield measure of delight the
doctor in his bubble cart will dash
around like Paul Revere, few choice
spirits will depart for standing just
a little near, the fire department will
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