davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
Was Positive Proof.

Some little uptown boys were play
ing Judge" a game invented by the
daddy of two of the. boys. They think
it's lots Of fun. One Of the boys in the
game impersonates a Judge, another
the district attorney, another a Grim
inal, while others are the foreman on
the jury, a policeman, a jailer and the
attorney for the defense. Any that re-
main are jurymen. After n Of the
youngsters commits a crime" he is
arrested and brought to trial with all
the legal formalities the children can
remember.
This time n of the youngsters was
supposed to have killed another, but
he protested his Innocence vigorously.
Then up rose the victim"
'Of course you did i'll" he said.
Cant you see I'm dead?"-New York
Tribune.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
Faithful Unto Death.

"One of the bravest acts / witnessed
during the whole war;" said an officer
of the Army of Northern Virginia,
was that of a young soldier, who was
probably not over sixteen. We had
thought of him only as a boy, although
he went with the regiment on all of
its marches, and lived with it in all
its encampments.
Zone day there was a fierce engage
ment. In the midst of it a bullet struck
this boy in the breast and he fell. Our
colonel ordered his men to dismount,
and as he himself sprang from his
horse, the boy called out in a weak
voice, i will hold your horse, colonel!'
stopping in the midst of the storm
of bullets to gaze in pity or the white,
boyish face, the colonel said, But you
can't do that, lad-you are dying
Il know / am, colonel the gallant
boy replied. But can hold the reins
when T am dead
"The colonel placed the bride in the
trembling hands and went forward
When the fight was over, he hurried
back, and found the boy lying dead
the bride reins still wrapped tightly
round his limp right hand.'-Youth's
Companion.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
UNsIGHTLY PIMPLES ON FACE

New Sharon, Iowa-"Two or three
years ago pimples began to come on
my face and I had dandruff. The PIN
pies made a very unsightly appear
ance. They were red and numerous,
some came to a head and festered and
the itching caused me to scratch them.
The dandruff on my head could be
plainly e
II tried several remedies but they
only temporarily relieved me. | had
been bothered with the trouble two or
three years when 1 decided to try Gu
ticura Soap and Ointment. So / sent
for a. free sample and I noticed relief
from them, and l bought more. l used
two cakes of Cuticura Soap and two
boxes of Cuticura Ointment and am
now free from pimples and d~andruff."
(Signed) Clyde Firebaugh, May IL, IA.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post
card "Cuticura. Dept L. Boston.'-Adv.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
Worried About Him.

The landlord = well, the landlord
was quite unpopular. There was a
time when Irish landlords we're. And
Mike and Tim were waiting for him
behind the hedge.
1t was evening and the long hours
very slowly passed.
Mike" said Tim, when another
hour had gone, what time is it,"
Mike struck a match and looked at
his watch.
"Eleven-thirty," he whispered
SIS it that?" replied Tim. AN it's
tonne he was here"
Another long wait followed. Then
again Tim inquired the hour.
Its ten minutes to twelve"
Tim looked anxious
IS it that?" he exclaimed. He's
late-he's very late. l do hope moth.
ms happened to him."
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
ENTHUSIASM WENT TOO FAR
Managing Editors Bright Idea Might
Have Displeased Some of His
Irish Readers.

Charles Edward Russell, in These
Shifting Scenes" tells many amusing
anecdotes of a managing editor named
Goodman to signalize the Pigott dis
closures which defeated the case that
the London Times and the English
Tories had worked up against Par
nell. Mr.. Russell writes:
On the night when Parnelrs vindica-
ton became overwhelming and COM
plete, Mr.. Goodman issued an order
that every article and every item in
the whole paper, big or little, should
end with the exclamation. "A Great
Day for Ireland!" It was tempting
fate to do such a thing. and, of course,
the inevitable happened.
One Hennessey, the janitor of a
public building in Brooklyn, playing on
the top floor with his children, fell
owe the railing of the air well and
was killed. "A Great Day for Ire
land!'"
Grim old Recorder Smythe had be.
fore him a notorious burglar called
O'Shaughnessy and sentenced him to
SIS e in Sing Sing. "A Great Day
for Ireland"
William Mulrooney, a widely
known philanthropist of the East side.
choked to death on a chicken bone.
a Great Day for Ireland!'"
The editor-in-chief, Col. John A
Cockerill, saw the proofs in time to
prevent a riot and extra compositors
were called in to take out the offend.
ing lines.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
Family Secrets.

A pretty governess was remonstrat-
ing with her young hopeful, aged eight,
on the ground of his incorrigible lazi-
ness, endeavoring to impress him with
the seriousness OF his ofense.
You must remember also. Harry"
she continued, that you've got to
work while you're young if you want
to be a successful man when you grow
up. Look at your father, for instance.
Why do you think he stays late in
his Office three OF four hours every
week.
"D'you know, Miss Jones?" he ex-
claimed.
"Of course / do" she replied.
We'll" he muttered, as he drove his
hands deeper into his pockets, you
keep it to yourself. If mother got to
know there'd be a nice old row.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
BRIGHT SAYINGS OF CHILDREN
Little Ones Knew Who Were the
DweIIers in the Garden of Eden
Grandpa in Heaven.

Sunday School Teacher-"Can you
tell me who dwelt in the Garden Of
Eden?" Little Mary-"Yes. ma'am--the
Adamses."
what is an amateur. Bobby?" quer-
led his small sister. AN amateur"
replied Bobby, lis anything that isn't
nature"
Mamma" queried little Myra, do
you think grandma has really gone to
heaven" Eyes, DEAR" was the reply
We'll" continued Myra, "I1l bet he
sneaks outside once in a while to
smoke his pipe"
In the lesson mention had been
made of the cant hook that is used in
rolling logs. Can you tell me what
a cant hook is, Tommy" asked the
teacher. Sure replied Tommy.
Its a COW that hasn't any horns"
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
They Saw Him Go Home With a Mag
azine Under His Arm.

Ground bearing Fairy Gifts of a
Liquid Variety. Somewhat later in
the Evening he found himself bal
anced on one Toe on a swiftly-moving
Cloud, announcing to the Stars of
Night that he was a True Sport.
In other words, he realized, as he
sat bumped over In the Morris Chair,
holding on to the Head, lest it should
fall off and roll across the Floor, that
he had been Snooted for Fair, Plas-
tered, Ossified, Benzoated, Piped,
Picked, Sp~ifaicated, Corned, Raddled,
Obfuscated, Soused and Ory-Eyed.
Six hours before, he had stood on
a Table and declared for the Brother
hood of Man and now he craved but
one Companion and that was old
Colonel R. e. Morse.
Standing over in the Sunlight by
the Window, where he could see the
innocent Shop-Girls going blithely to
their Sc a week, he lifted the trem-
bling Right Mitt clear above his Head
and then and there declared himself
to be on the Cart until the great Ce-
lestial Bodies should skid in their Or
bits and the Globe itself dissolve into
Vapor.
Just as he pronounced the Words,
NEVER A-gen', he felt a great Flood
of worthy Resolutions arising in his
new Moral Nature. He would buy a
Winchester Automatic and devote the
remainder of his wasted Life to shoot
ing up Barkeeps. And when he died
the whole Estate would go to the
w. c.. T. U.
That afternoon the Survivors of the
Midnight Massacre got together at a
Club to compare Hang-Overs and find
out what had happened after the Roof
fell in.
Our Hero appeared just as the Boy
was getting ready to throw a Life
Line. He was greeted with a ribal6
Shout and told to come running and
Save Himself.
The Moment had arrived for him tc
be a Man. Surrounded by Ice and
Squirters and Mixing Spoons an6
Orange Peel and Jiggers and Jaggers
he drew himself together and made
the Announcement.
For a Moment they were stunned
by the Impact and then every Son Of
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
Electricity suppIants Towels.

MORAL: The Way of the Ex-
Transgressor is Hard.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
Soul and Sole.

Good night, my sweet; farewell,
my love; my soul goes out to thee.
But time is speeding fast. my love,
and / must quickly fee! 'Tis but a
few short hours, my love. and you
must think of me, till we meet again
tomorrow, love-my soul goes out
to. thee!v
Thus spoke q lover to his lass,
Deep in her eyes gazed he. Now, one
fond kiss, one fond embrace-how
sweet it was Of thee!
Oh. horrorl Then her pa appeared.
What means this, sir?" said he.
Then, with an angry snarl, he reared:
my sole goes out to thee."
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
NEW IDEA
Helped Wisconsin Couple.

1t doesn't pay to stick too closely
to old notions of things. New ideas
often lead to better health, success
and happiness.
A Wis. couple examined an idea
new to them and stepped up several
rounds on the health ladder. The
husband writes:
Several years ago we suffered from
coffee drinking, were sleepless, nerv-
Gus, sallow, weak and irritable. My
wife and l both loved coffee and
thought it was a bracer." (Delusion.)
Finally, after years of suffering, we
read Of Postum and the harmfulness
of coffee, and believing that to grow
we should give some attention to new
ideas, we decided to test Postum.
When we made it right we liked
it and were free Of ills caused by
coffee. Our friends noticed he
change-fresher skin, sturdier nerves,
better temper, etc.
These changes were not sudden,
but increased as we continued to
QIluh anu CHJOy IOotoAh, NNN
the desire for coffee.
MANY of our friends did not like
Postum at first, because they did not
make it right. But when they made
Postum according to directions on
pkg, they liked it better than coffee
and were benefited by the change"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read "The Road to
MELVILLE" in pkgs.
Postum now comes in two forms:
Regular Postum-must be well
boiled. 15c and Csc packages.
Instant Postum-is a soluble pow
der. Made in the cup with hot water
no boiling. 30c and SOC tins.
The cost per cup of both kinds is
about the same.
"There's a Reason" for Postum.
sold by Grocers.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
The New Fable of the Lonesome Ride
on the Sprinkler.

One pleasant morning the Chief of
the Society for Promoting the Impor-
tation of Scotch Merchandise awoke
after a Balloon Voyage which began
6 Feet below Sea Level in a Rathskel
Ter and finished 1000 feet above the
Altitude recorded by Lincoln Beach
ey, the Man-Bird.
When he Came To he discovered
that the Pillow had climbed owe on
top of him and was trying to work
the Half-Nelson, while a large Pile
Driver, of the kind used along the
Water Front, was beating a rhythmic
al Tattoo on his tender Bean.
He had a Temperature of 102 and
his Ears were hanging down Also.
during the Period of Coma some one
had extracted the Eyes and substitute
ed two hot Door-knobs. Further
more, his Dining Room Floor was
covered with a Plush Rug.
After he had decanted a miniature
Niagara on to the smoking Coppers
and removed his Collar and cautiously
picked up from the Floor his Stick
Pin and the Watch and the Remnant
of the Check cashed at 5 p. m, he
felt his way over to the Window and
denounced In unmeasured Terms an
English Sparrow that had perched on
the Sill, merely to annoy him.
In a little while he remembered that
he was a Resident of the Planet
known as Earth. Soon after that his
Name came back to him and then he
recalled his Boyhood and the Fact
that when he passed the Parsonage
the Presbyterian Minister would ash
him to pick some of the Lilacs and
Snowballs and take them home to his
Sister Alice.
From that Point he CROPPED through
his Life History up to the Twilight
on which the Regulars had arranged
a Send-Of for Old Buck, who was
pulling out for Seattle. In order t.
help Buck to remember them as True
Friends, they had ~covertly planned tt
get him Stewed to the Eye-Balls ant
then ship him on to his new Home
spread out in Stateroom B, with long
stemmed Roses laid across the Re
mains. This form Of homicidal Gaiet.
is perpetrated under the name o
American Hospitality.
Our Hero remembered the polite
Getaway on the Low Speed witt
everybody Respectable, after which
the Fountains started to gush ant
Walters began to come up out of tn,
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
The War at Armaaeddon.

With the return of the Progressive
party from the wedding the war al
Armageddon required his attention
and probably the use Of the big stick
Apparently it is a case of when the
big chief is out Of sight the generals
will fight; for there are few below the
rank Of general left to do battle fol
the Lord and these high rankers have
fallen to quarreling among themselves
over the sordid question of money
The rank and file who stood at Arma
geddon two years ago have been re
turning to the Republican camp in 6
steady procession.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
FARMER IS LOSER
Foreigner Getting Money That
Should Be His.
Adverse Balance Works Out at One
Million Dollars a Month, and
Consumer Has Not Benefited
From Tariff Reduction.

In the ten months ended April, 1914,
the value of foreign foodstuffs Inn
ported into the United States in
creased $10,0OO.00O or 100000 a
month. This money, which should
have gone to the American farmer
went to foreign farmers.
In the same period the exports OF
American foodstufs decreased $64,-
416, 000, or $4,000, 900 a month.
The adverse balance against the
American farmer, 80 far as dealings
with the outside world are concerned.
Is SIS, 000.0 o in ten months.
During the ten months ended April.
1914, there were imported 20,05S,9S9
bushels of oats, as against 714,767
bushels imported during the same pc
Rod ended April, 1918. Comparing the
same periods, there were imported
1854, 054 bushels CT wheat, against
769,329; others breadstuffs,' $500, 1852,
against s 1882, $50; fruits, 1851 ,16s,
against s21,635 1882; nuts, s722,217,
against $636,290; butter, ~s1,633,515,
against $253,513; cheese. $4,000 ,43s.
against 1858, 399; olive oil, s6,444,-
BAT, against $5,S15,s $40; prepared vege-
tables, $3,015,545. against s2,772,1 100;
vegetables, $1,46S,3 1896. against s1,3oS,-
S21. The importation of eggs during
the ten months ended April, 1914,
amounted to 5,O43, 1855 dozens, valued
at 81, 100000.
These are staples produced by
American farms, orchards, and gar
dens. The new tariff reduces the duty
upon these articles and opens the
market to foreign farmers. The for
eigner has seized this opportunity and
is now making $1,00O,O00 a month
which formerly went to the Amerf-
can farmer.
The consumer gets no benefit from
this tariff reduction. The price has
not gone down on a single article
mentioned. The high tariff formerly
kept the foreigner out and gave this
business to the American farmer.
The new tariff throws the business
to the foreign farmer, who, with the
middleman, pockets the benefit, and
the consumer pays as much as he did
before. The only loser is the Ameri'
can farmer.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
Rooseyelt,s KEYNOTE.

Colonel Rooseve1t's speech at Pitts
burgh, when read between the lines
is practically an admission of the pass.
ing of the Progressive party. He said
no word directly about reunion with
the Republican party, but every argu-
ment he made, If so applied, was .
cogent argument to that end.
Taken as the keynote of his cam
paign against the continuance of Dem
ocratic control in congress, the speech
is plainly a feeler toward actual re
union based upon the elimination Of
elements to which he and his follow
ers object in the Republican party
and the adoption of certain planks OF
the Progressive gospel by the desired
Observation-Disclosures American.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14

Prof. T. J. j. See, who believes that
he has discovered the hitherto IN
known cause'o of g~ravitation, is in the
government service. being mathema-
tician and astronomer in charge of the
naval observatory at Mare island, Cal
ifornia. He was commissioned las,
August as a relative captain in the
navy, the highest rank in the naval
corps of mathematicians,
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14

IF some of these financiers keep
telling on one another they'll all end
with the character that Cal Clay gave
the deacon"
The speaker was clifford Pinchot.
He resumed:
zeal Clay was a witness in behalf of
the deacon, who was up for chicken
stealing. A
{" Calhoun, my man., the lawyer
said, what do you know of the dea-
cons character?
Hit am unbleachable. sah,' Cal re-
Piled"
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
WAY the Moon Chances.

1t was the tenth week after the
honeymoon. The great round moon
rolled up above the trees.
Jack" she said, romantically, do
you remember how the moon used to
affect you when you were calling on
me? eWhy, every time it went under a
cloud you used to kiss me. You don't
do it now"
NO" yawned Jack, as he lit his
pipe, "the moon affects the tides, but
not the tieds. The honeymoon ends
all moon nonsense"
And then she said he was the mean
est man in town and went over to call
on the neighbors.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
Good That He Returned.

boy, watch my horse till l come
back" called a Ia to a boy loung-
ing around the station, as he hastened
to bid farewell to a departing friend.
"Sure!" said the boy. taking the
reins.
Just then the locomotive whistled
and the horse rearing suddenly, start
ed at full speed up the road.
The boy started after the fleeing
animal, and, as the owner appeared,
exclaimed with relief:
Its a good thing you came now, sir,
for l couldn't have watched him much
longer"
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
The "~Passwordn

At an eastern military academy the
night guard heard a noise. Halt!
Who goes there?" he called, in accord
ace with army regulations. 1t was
another student. bent on midnight
frolic, and he answered. Moses"
This frivolous and utter disregard
of military rule brought back the com
mand. the guard probably %suspecting
the others identity, Advance, Moses,
and give the Ten Commandments"
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
Fighting II Out All Summer.

I'VE are going to stay here with the
president. 1t is awfully uncomfort
able. I would rather be at home witt
my roses and fruits and gardens, but
we have undertaken to fight this fight
out, and we are going to stay here
and fight it out, If it takes all summer
until we have finished the chief pro
gram" says Sedator John Sharp VIII
liams of Mississippi. Credulous souls
may not believe that there is a war
on business, but Mr.. Williams under.
stands.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
Beauty SPOT In Garden.

A beauty spot may take the place
of any eyesore this summer if you
SOW some seeds in time. Where the
outlook from a window or gallery is
married by something unsightly, raise
a high green wall between you and it.
Drive into the ground slender poles
and between them pass a wire or
cords. At the foot SOW seeds of rapid
growing vines, such as morning glory,
scarlet Strings from the wire
to the ground will lead the vines up.
II there is a fence or tree near by, this
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
Domestic Tragedy.

"It must be done!"
with the air of an empress the
young wife swept from the room. The
young husband groaned aloud and pre-
pared for the worst.
There was a dread pause.
ut is donei" she exclaimed, trium-
phantly, as she placed on the table the
life.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14


Drying the hands by means of a cur
rent of warm air is modern sanitary
device recently installed in a Wash
ington office building. The electric
hand drier is an upright cabinet about
three feet high. An opening at the
top, over which the hands may be
held, gives egress to a current of air
blown from within, and controlled by
a lever operated by the foot. When
the lever is depressed, the electric
current is switched on the blower, and
the air is forced through a heating
coil. which brings it to a proper tenn
perature. says Popular Mechanics.
Thirty seconds is all the time required
for the drying process, and the cost
per hundred pairs of hands is just one
h~alfpenny.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
Water-Proofina Concrete.

The United States engineers have
long used the following mixture in
wat~er-proofing cement: One part ce.
ment, two parts sand, three-quarters
pounds of dry powdered alum to each
cubic foot of sand. Mix dry and add
water in which has been dissolved
three-quarters pound of soap to each
gallon. This is nearly as strong as
ordinary cement, and is quite imper-
vious to water besides preventing eff
forescence. For a wash, a mixture
of one pound of I've and two pounds
alum in two gallons of water is often
used.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
Shakespeare In Germany.

Prof. Brandt, of Berlin, is reported
as saying that Shakespeare is now at
the zenith of his popularity in Ger
many. 1.-The Deutsehes theater of Ber-
lin," he says, has scored an unpre-
cedented record by producing a
Shakespeare repertory practically
night after night, for the last six
months, to sold-out houses without an
exception"
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
Warnfnd.

Constant vigilance is the price of
enduring beauty" said Lillian Russell.
Diet, exercise, sun baths, massage
constant vigilance" she repeated, is
the price of enduring beauty. Many
splendid beauties pass their youth
recklessly killing time. Then, before
they're forty time turns round and
kills them"
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
Aiding the Enemy.

Two years ago Bull Moosery ef
fected the defeat of the Republicans
1t was strong enough then to let IL
the Democrats; and whatever. strength
1t now possesses will be exercised il
that same behalf this year If the Bull
Mooser whose principal object is the
restoration of the policy of protec
ton cannot see that his only hope il
in the restoration Of the Republican
party to power he is blind past tho
aid of the oculist. Internationally
he is playing the game of his enemies
and is entitled to their admiration
gratitude and campaign assistance.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
The New nFourth.p

John A. Bates, who for many years
has presided at an all-night drug store
in the Tenderloin, has the last word to
say on the question of a safe and sane
Fourth.
dull night, Doc" observed n Of
the regulars as the holiday was about
over.
Dull! I should say it was" replied
Bates; its been SO dull I've been re-
fusing to sell alcohol all night, think
ing it was Sunday."-New York Trib-
une.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
Short Memory.

A philosopher has declared that ev-
cry noble deed lasts longer than a
marble monument but the common
experience is that the oma to whom
you give your seat in the crowded car
forgets the courtesy before she .1ops
into the seat.-Louisville Courier-Jour-
nal.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
THINK OF THE MILLIONS

that have been relieved in the past IS
years by Wright's Indian Vegetable
Pills and decide whether they are not
worth a trial. They regulate the
bowels, stimulate the liver and purify
tha blood Adv
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
An inventor.

who is that chap who just left
your"
He's an inventor"
"Of what?"
"Of reasons why 1 should lend him
five dollars and of excuses when / do"
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-08-14
Power of Wealth.

"Wombat's wife wants to go on the
stage"
well, he's rich enough to build a
theater for her"
Eyes, and to hire an audience
Kansas City Journal.