Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-03-26
sense of being identified with tina.

Office.
81 feel like a person appointed for
a certain length of time TO administer
that Office, and feel Just as much out
side Of it at this moment as I did be-
fore I was elected to 1t. I feel just as
much outside Of it as I still feel out
side OF the government Of the United
States.
mo man could imagine himself the
government Of the United States; but
he could understand that some part
Of his fellow citizens had told him to
go and run certain part of it the best
he knew how.
That would not make him the gov
eminent itself or the thing itself 1t
would just make him responsible for
running it the best he knew how.
Office So Great; Man So Small.
THE machine is so much greater
than himself, the Office is so much
greater than himself; the Office is so
much greater than he can ever be, and
the most he can do is to look grave
enough and self-possessed enough to
seem to fill it.
4 can hardly refrain every now and
again from tipping the public the
wink, as much as to say, Tt is only
me that is inside this thing. I know
that I viii have to get out presently.
know that then 1 viii look just my
own proper size, and that for the time
being the proportions are somewhat
refracted and misrepresented to the
eye by the large thing 1 am inside Of,
from which I am tipping you this
wink
For example, take matters of this
sort. I will not say whether it is wise
or unWise; simple or grave but Ger
tain precedents have been established
that in certain companies the presi-
dent must leave the room first and
people must give way to him. They
must not sit down if he is standing up.
Finds Customs Embarrassing.
at is a very uncomfortable thing to
have to think Of all the other people
every time I get up and sit down, and
all that sort of thing. So when I get
guests in my own house and the pub
lie is shut out, ] adjourn being pres
ident and take leave to be a gentle
man. If they draw back and insist
upon my doing something first I firm
ly decline.
There are blessed intervals when I
forget by one means or another that
I am president of the United States.
One means by which I forget is to get
rafting good detective story, get
after some imaginary offender, and
chase him all over-preferably any
continent but this-because the vari-
Gus parts of this continent are becom-
ing painfully suggestive to me.
"The postoffices and many other
things which stir "reminiscences have
'sicklied them DER with a pale cast
Of thought There are postoffices to
which I wouldn't think of mailing a
letter, which l can't think of without
trembling with the knowledge Of the
heartburnings of the struggle there
was in connection with getting some
body installed as postmaster.
Knows Little of Capital Sights.
Nov, If l were free, l would come
not infrequently up to these rooms.
You know l never was in Washington
but very few hours until came last
year and I never expect to see the
inside of the public buildings in Wash
ington until my term is over
THE minute 1 turn up anywhere,
l am personally conducted to beat the
band. The curator, and the assistant
curators, and every other blooming Of
fetal turns up, and they show me so
much attention that l don't see the
building. l would have to say, Stand
sside and let me see what you are
showing me-
Some day, after I am through with
this office, l am going to come back
to Washington and see it. In the
meantime, am in the same category
as the National museum, the monu-
ment, the Smithsonian institution, or
the Congressional library, and every
thing that comes down here has to
be shown the president.
IF l only knew an exhibition ap-
pearance to acknowledgement other
appearances that do not show what is
going on inside would like to have
it pointed out, so that 1 could practise
it before the looking glass and see if
l could not look like the monument.
Being regarded as a national ex-
hibit, it would be much simpler than
being shaken hands with by the whole
United States.
Plain Citizen, His Ambition.
1T would be a great pleasure if. un-
served and unattended, l could be
knocked around as I have been accus-
toned to be knocked around all my
life; if could resort to any delightful
quarter, to any place in Washington
that l chose. l have sometimes
thought of going to some costumer-
some theatrical costumer-and buying
an assortment of boards, rouge, color
ing, and all the known means of dis
guising myself, if it were not against
the law. You see, have a scrupIe
as president against breaking the law
and Disgusting ones self is against
the law.
But If l could disguise myself and
not get caught l would go out, be a
free American citizen once more, and
have jolly time I might then meet
some of you gentlemen and actually
tell you what I really thought"
IF Glasses Stick.
If two glasses are we1oad +nCatbor