The broad ax., 1914-10-24

AnQ OOher Nnen you read or Wr1eA
II just had q bumbIebee
guess they wouldn't bother me!
Los Angeles Times
did the medicine prescribed have
q soporihc effect7"
~oh, no, doctor; It only put me to
sleep."-Baltimore American.
That man win fan into some kinks
OF unexpected woes
Who thinks that what be merely thinls
Ii what he really knows.
Washington Star.
~How do you know that Chaucer die
lated his old English to a stenogra,
pherY
"LOok at the way it's spelIedL"-Phil-
adelphia Ledger.
The CHEEKY tones Of the editor man
Through sanctum and hall resound-
war poems7'' he cries why, bless your
dear eyes,
We're buying EN- now by the pound!"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
~Are the running expenses Of an au-
very highr'
Not II the motorcycle cop fails 10
get you number. Amer
lean
The fat man leans against the house,
And thus 1t can be seen
He's fat because he eats too much,
And that's what makes him lean
Cincinnati Enquirer.
~What's the matter, old man2 Been
b boiler explosionT
mo. Had the coal put In today, and
I've just crawIed over It to fasten the
cellar window."-Detroit Free Press.
The farmer we delight to chan.
But On his way he goes
And often gets q quiet laugh
At city peoples clothes
Kansas City Journal
Old Mother Netticoat wanted a pet
ticoat and went downtown to a store.
But when she got there the girl said
with q stare, They're not wearing
them things any more."-Central Ran)
Courier.
Statistics are q comfort great
We twist them with sincere delight
No matter what the figures state.
Each makes them show that he IL right
Washington Star.
49, 49,, ~, o,rf,,I busflar AIUava
ahead Of time Seems to anticipate
Used to be a newsboy."
Il see. Probably sold o'clock edi-
lions at noonF' Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
An voters are not druggists,
But they show q lot Of skill
In mixing for the candidates,
A mighty bitter pill
SPOKANE Spokesman-RevisW.
what are you going to wear at the
fancy dress ball, Mabelr
'Tm going to wear two skirts ana q
petticoat and 60 as an old fashioned
Free Press
'-The battleship lacks shame" said BIN.
sFor, though she's well equipped,
She won't go into battle TN
She Is completely stripped
Cincinnati Enquirer.
THE people In that institution are
crazy about It"
sWhat Is itT'
@An insane asylum" Baltimore
American.
A brittle thing IL speech. 90 take
Precaution how you bend II,
For any man can make break
But mighty few can mend X
Men don't marry for money han a
often as they are supposed to
'sNo. for not half the girls supposed
10 be rich are neutrality-suspicious.
Ledger.
Mary had q little lamb.
And then heard her hoIer:
sWhat does that waiter think amt
IA ehareed me half q dollarf
Cincinnati Enquirer.
'.There's g perfect match"
S'EoY
eyes. she's a spithre, and hes JUST
. sick Of wood. "-Detroft Free Press.
Rshold the strong ditch digger
Who turns an cay trek
while Others do what they oscesS
He always takes his pick
-SpolAns spokesman-HsNlSN'
every class In life seems to have
h peculiar disease"
s.Then suppose jailbtrds have Z
breaking out and carpenters nave tne
shinRles. H-Baltimor American
IA shs: ~what lovely fashions deari
They 40 % change from year 70 year
saThereis not much change that can -
ls pockstbootn," responded he
sSIsbevsra worn q little shorter tnoosA