Omaha daily bee., 1914-09-08
Little Boobies
Pa
BY WILLIAM +. KIRK.


l have Jest rote long letter to Prssi-
dent Wilson. sed Pa.
You have? sed Ma
Yes, sed Pa. & as soon as I git a
answer I may have to maik hurried
preparashuns for long journey. Bee
foar l go, however, If / do go. sed Pa.
will maik arrangements so you & littel
Bobbie will have nothing to worry about
II l shud fall with my face to the trech-
erus foe.
Deer, Deer, sed Ma, & what is all this
big splurge about?
L am going to Mexico, I think, as soon
as l git anser from Wilson, sed Pa.
am going down there & have a end to all
this revolushun that is making so much
trubble & bludshed, & l have thought out
careful plan Of ackshun witch l have
submitted to Mister Wilson.
Isent that grand. sed Ma. What a com
fort you must be to our beloved president.
1t is too bad that George Washington
didn't have a man like you hanging
around him in the dark days of the revo-
lushun in this country, Ma sed,
I have often felt sorry that cuddent
have lived then, sed Pa, but Of course If
1 had lived then you wud newer have
had the chanst to meet me s. have my
proteckshun. & littel Bobble wuddent
have been here to cheer us up, sed pa. But
in any event, Pa sed, this Mexican trip
is ono of the utmost importance not
only to the United States but to England
as well. These are my plans:
First of all, Pa sed, am going to des-
troy the power of this Villa. lie Is
what 1 call the rock of the revolushun.
the storm center of the whole trubbel 1
am going to git him & l am going to
git him good, sed Pa. After l have put
him out of the way 1 am going to talk
his men & go after Zapata & destroy
him. Then 1 will maik a sistematick war
agenst every brigand in the whole coun-
try, & as soon as L have them cleened
out l will go to the proper government
of Mexico & turn oaver all my troops to
them g. be back hoam as soon as pos
sibel. 1t may not be beefoar sum time
in the early fall, sed Pa, but as 1 sed
beefoar will leave everything here prop
erly fixed so you & Bobbie will git along
fine.
Well, deerest sed Ma, II thought you
was ever RELY going to get a reply from
Wilson telling you to go down thare 1
wud flare up now & tell you that you
haven't got chanst in the wurld 70 maik
the trip & leeve us here, but as things
are am not going to bother my he'd
about Il.
You are going to be surprised, sed Pa.
1 guess not, Ma said If you want to
know what l think, 1 think that cokane
the dentist put in your tooth & gum is
doing a little planning & talking for you,
deerest. That is my opinyun, Ma sed.
Thay say such drugs give men & VIM
men very exalted idees Of thare CRATE
ness
I wonder il that is why have been
feeling so braiv & strong all the after
noon, sed Pc Why, ! feel as IL i cud
eileen up that Mexican outfit singel
handed, without eeven gun or jack.
That is Just what 1 think the reason
for yure bravery is, sed Ma. Il 1 wish
while you are still feeling braiv that you
wud look oaver these bills with me. II
you wait till the drug dies out 1 am
afrade you will faint wen you see the
butcher bill, sed Ma. Cum on, noabel
hero, & cast yure eye oaver these slips
Wen Pa had looked at all the bills he
dident look braiv at all, he lookd like q
man witch is driving hearse.