The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-01-08
Statesmen, Real and Near.
BY FRED c. KELLY.

Senator Henry +. Hollis. of New Hamp-
shire. has always had a good, practical,
working sense of humor. Some years ago
when Hollis was attending the high
school In Concord. SO runs the story, he
went to an examination on the subject
OF European history, and one of the
questions was to name three Of the best
known Lombard leaders. Hollis knew
two Of them. but hadn't the remotest idea
about the third. So he wrote that the
third was a man named Hugo Ginseng.
The name was not a familiar one to the
teacher. and the next day the teacher
inquired OF Hollis where he came by his
knowledge of Hugo Ginseng.
Il don't suppose he Is mentioned in
the ordinary school history" said Hol-
lis. bsindly. but In the history we have
at home-in seven yolumes-it tells all
about him, and I guess II Is pretty well
agreed among the authorities now that
he was one OF the most capable Lom-
bards there were-although he didn't
shove himself forward so much as some
Of the others"
That is indeed very interesting" said
the teacher. "Oh. IL only more of the
boys would do a little supplementary
reading
1t often happens that persons handling
the great affairs Of state behave much
like anybody else. For example, one
night the President desired to hold a
brief telephone conversation with the
Secretary of State. So the White House
exchange undertook to call William Jen-
nings Bryan to the telephone But Bry-
an or some one had carelessly left the
receiver down
Now what do you suppose happened?
II II had been Jim Hicks trying to call
Phil Harper in Sedalia- and Pills re-
ceiver was down. Jim would have called
one Of the neighbors and asked somebody
to tell Phil to go TO his phone. That was
precisely what happened when the Pres
ident was endeavoring to talk to the
Secretary OF State. The White House
called up a near neighbor. who happened
to be Justice of the Supreme Court Of
the United States. and asked him IL he
wouldn't send word over to Mr.. Bryan
to hang up his receiver.
1t has been noted with a great deal of
here of late by friends of
Victor Murdoch. the Progressive leader,
that Victor is putting on a lot Of weight
In little while, at the same rate of in
crease. he will be a fat man. No one
would place any great stress on this fact.
as there are lots OF fat men running
loose. but Victor forged to the front Just
a short time ago as one Of the leading
opponents OF the delights and advantages
Of rigorous diet, and a slender figure.
in with a waist line like a
brownie, he trained down until he had
to have all his clothes made over and
looked like a man just emerging from a
hunger strike. for the good of the order.
He had long list Of rules about diet and
would neither eat much himself nor let
anybody else eat much without first CIV
ing a long talk about the perils of
obesity. So. now that he is putting on
weight again, he was asked to explain
''Oh, I've grown careless about my
iiet." confessed Victor. I've been eat
ng two meals a day. and no man ought
10 eat more than one"
The glutton!
Representative ''Hampy" Moore, of
Philadelphia, walked into one of the
Capitol restaurants the other day and
ordered a small steak. When it came 1t
vas so small that he had grave difficulty
n spreading II out enough to comprise
me good bite. Eating such a steak was
lbout as satisfactory as merely reading |
lbout food.
Il ordered steak. and not a mere
suggestion OF steak observed |
'Ham2y'' to the colored waiter.
We'll. sah," explained the waiter, |
YOU ordered a small steak. and that'n |
vas the smallest / could find, sab"
On an average OF twice a year. Repre- |
entative Ben johnson of Kentucky gets
t into his head to buy buffalo. He |
writes to the leading buffalo dealers for |
heir catalogue and price lists, and de- |
ives great deal Of pleasure from View |
ng with his minds eye the landscape OF |
lis Kentucky farm with the large buff |
alo grazing on the hillside. But when |
gets right down to a point where the
ext move is to buy the buffalo. johnson |
lways reneges. He has deer on hi. !
arm. and wild boar. and other inter
sting mammalia of the field and forest.
UGH as cows and horses. and he wants
buffalo, but something invariably |
rompts him to slow up Just before COM
hitting himself on paper. He pauses. re-
wonders what he would do
nth a buffalo II he had one. and post
ones action. Then for six months a buff
alo never enters his head. Sooner or
liter, though. he completes the cycle. and
egins his dickering for a buffalo all
YER again.
Copyright. 1914. by Fred O. Kelly. Al rights