The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-25

l John is very proud of his Scottish for. bears and on the occasion of the visit of the Highlanders band not only decided to go out and listen to the selections played. but resolved to make the ac- quaintance of some of it's members. In order to make known the fact that be was of their kith and kin, he brushed | up on his Scotch dialect by re-reading Bobby Burns and "Wee MacGregor" and soon acquired as he thought, the proper "Hieland salutation. Faultlessly attired and wearing d era vat made of the Mcqueen tartan. he ar- rived at the fair grounds while the band was taking a recess and many of it's members strolling about the grounds. Approaching one of the kilted bands men John extended his hand and with an expansive smile said: "Gude evenin'; hoo are ye makkin oot?'' The hand was accepted, but with ap- parent astonishment on the part of the bandsman. who replied:
 Non, non. Je mai comprenez pas" This reply somewhat stumped John and for once in his life he could not find any thing to say, so with doubtful smile he passed on. Another man in kits hove ir sight, so John made second effort: "Gude evenin till ye; hoo are ye the day?"
 Again came the look of astonishment and with a shrug of the shoulders the bandsman said quickly Non comprendo parlata Italiano.'' Again John failed to come back. They stared at each other rather foolishly for a few seconds, then with Gaston-A phonse bow they both passed on. John was beginning to have doubts as to the quality of his 'Hie'land" accent and let several of the kilted clansmen pass by without accosting them Then a big, brawny, "Highlander' came strolling along. His mustache was sandy. his eye clear and bright: he looked every inch clansman. This reassured John and again extending the right hand of fel- low ship he greeted the new conner with 6 cheery smile and the salutation:
 Its braw laddie ye are in tho kits. Mon, ye saur look fine"
 The chieftain removed large pipe from his mouth and looked steadily for fully half a minute at the smiling scion of the clan Mcqueen, then said:
 "Ich verstehe nicht. Sprechen sic Deutsch?''
 John understood the latter part of the question and shook his head, so the bandsman marched away. The descendant of the warlike Bruce was about to aban-
 
 quaintance of the Highlanders when one of the clan approached wearing a broad smile on his good natured countenance. He was rather "wee' for Caledonian but he looked so friendly that John made another attempt. Putting on his fiercest accent he loudly exclaimed:
 Scots wha' hae. Hoo dae ye find yer sel this afternoon?'
 The "wee'' kitty paused moment VI fv a ata acl11a
 "Ish-ka- -bibble'
 Don't mention it. came back John in good old United States. They both laughed and departed.
 He was somewhat perplexed at his signal failure to make the acquaintance of the bandsmen and while pondering on the situation he saw his long time friend, Uncle Jimmy Hillhouse. walking along. John greeted him cordially and Mr. Hill house being q native Scotchman. related to him his experience in trying to make friends with the members of the High flanders band. Uncle Jimmy asked John for sample of his "Hie'land' accent and dialect. He compiled and handed him a sample hot off the griddle. When MT. Hillhouse got through laughing he said:
 That's not so bad for an amature, but you have not got the right 'twang' to 1t. The chances are the chaps you spoke to thought you were addressing them in some foreign tongue. will bet you the cigars that the first one 1 speak to un- derstands me-
 John took the bet and approaching a tall, stalwart Highlander Mir. Hillhouse extended his hand. and speaking with an accent you could cut with knife. said:
 'Gude evenin' Jock. Hoo are ye the noo'
 I'm brawIey' came the hearty re- yersel?"
 And with that the two got into an an- imated conversation that fairly reeked ok the Banks an Braes Q Bonny Doon'