The Washington herald., 1914-03-01
By ELLIS Parker BUTLER

And did hep asked Sim Perkins,
Yes said Uncle Ashdod, 'he did.
So the next thing | knew | was in
Madagascar, in hospital, and didn't
know who was. | couldn't remember
nothin' at all, but ! had a watch, and
inside the watch was the words. To
Cap'n Ashdod CIute, From his lovin'
bride, Josephine, Comquag, Maine So
then sort of remembered dyin' cou-
pie of times or so and sendin' my re-
mains home, and | says TO myself, If
I'm Cap'n Ashdod Clute amt dead,
and if | amt dead its shame to cause
my wife sorrow by lettin' her receive
my ashes, but if | am dead, then l
don't know who | am, and the best
thing for me to do is to go home to
Comquag, Maine, and find out the lay
of the land, and fix things up nice and
tidy So as soon as was able went"
Hope you was deadT said Sim Per-
kins in a mean tone.
81 was" said Uncle Ashdod. soon
as | got off the tram 1t Comquag /
seen a L. s. cruiser in the bay and
sailin' ship alongside. and one was the
cruiser bringin' my ashes home, and
the other was the Mary AnH with my
ashes aboard, and tagged onto the train
had come on was special car, and
in the special car was the crew of the
Sally AnH with my ashes in nice tin
box. So while ] waited for the Mate
of the Sally AEH to line up his men in
a procession up came the crew of the
Mary Jane in one procession, and the
crew of the cruiser in another process
sion, and We all met there on the sta
ton platform. And YOU better believe
that them three men was surprised to
see me. They was indeed We'll, fel-
lers,' | says, 1tn much obliged to you
all for fetchin' my ashes home, but |
amt as dead as | thought / was and
guess you can go away again."
"And they did," asked Sim Perkins.
No" said Uncle Ashdod, they
didn't The Mate of the Sally ATH
spoke first. He was right sullen about
it. That's all right for YOU to say he
said, but | promised you before you
died that I'd. fetch your ashes home and
give them to you widow. 1t may be
your way of doin' things-to change
your mind about bcin' dead or alive just
as you wish-but ii amt my way. When
| start TO deliver remains of late la
mented I deliver EN-. I've paid car
fare, and I've paid the crew extra
wages. and I've had a lot of trouble,
and so far as I'm concerned I'm goin'
to deliver you to you: widow. If you
don't like ii you can lump it! When a
man is dead he ought to stay dead, and
if he don't that's his own affair So
the doctor from the Mary linn and the
captain from the cruiser said the same
thing-they didn't care what | said or
did. they were goin' TO deliver the re-
mains OF the late Ashdod Clute to his
widow. They had promised to do it,
and they was goin' TO do it or bust.
Then" continued Uncle Ashdod.
the Mate of the Sally .1Hn and the
captain OF the cruise- and the doctor
of the Mary Jane got to quarrclin' as
to which had the authcntickest lot OF
remains. The Mate of the Sally dun
claimed his was because his was the
remains of me from the first time
died. He said that when 4 man was
dead for the first time he was good and
dead and you could be sure he was
dead. but after that and when a man
began dyin' every little while it was
nothin' but a habit ant the remains was