The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1914-01-02

an old fashioned accordian and either
contracts or expands according to the
pressure brought to bear on it.
He is also immune to nearly all
kinds of poisons and can swallow the
most deadly drugs with impunity.
remember of having a negro working
for me one time who was having
chills and was suffering from severe
backache. got him bottle of chill
tonic to take and bottle of liniment
to rub his Back with. The liniment
was labeled in box car letters "POI-
SON" For external use only" and
cautioned him about it when I gave
it to him, but for three days and
nights, before I found it out he had
been rubbing his back with the chill
tonic and taking table spoonful of
the lipiment three times day before
each meal with excellent results On
another occasion, 1 was sick and had
a negro to wait upon me, and the
doctor Opened can of antiphlogistine
to make plaster for my side and left
the can on the kitchen table, and
when my negro went In to get his
supper, he mistook it for a can of
peanut butter and ate the whole. of it
without ever discovering his mistake.
Lays Up No Treasure.
The negro does not lay up treas
ures on earth where moth and rust
would corrode or where thieves might
break through and steal, but when he
has any money or other valuable
things, he Immediately puts it into
circulation, and the things in which
he usually invests are never of a per-
manent or lasting nature. He spends
much money each year for legal and
medical advice, presumably for the
purpose of finding out what he ought
to do so that he may do the opposite,
for it is well know fact that a ne
gro was never known to shut gate
or follow anybody's advice about any
thing. He is also an ardent admirer
of the work turned out by the dental
surgeon and down deep in every ne
gro's heart there is a great longing
to some day have a gold tooth in
front, one on plate so that he can
take it out and look at it and put it
back at will.
Strong For Art.
He is likewise a great admirer of
art and in nearly every negro's home,
be it ever so humble, there hangs a
life sized crayon portrait of himself
on the wall, right opposite the door,
where you will be sure to see it when
you come in the door. The rest of his
surplus money he usually spends for
entertainment, generally an excur-
sion, but anything else in motion will
do. I have frequently stood on the
street corner on cold cloudy winter
day and watched as many as fifty ne
gros, who would not average fifty
cents each, and none of whom had on
clothes enough to flag a hand car
clinging to a merry-go-round as it
went round and round grinding out
that we'll known and much beloved
melody, ooh! Bill Baily, Why Don't
You Come Home" and their front
teeth shining like the keys on "baby
grand" piano while hundreds of
others, who did not have the price of
a ride, were standing in half frozen
mud, cheering them as they came
around.
All things are pleasing to him. A
circus or funeral is equally enjoy
able, but a protracted meeting fol-
lowed by big baptizing, or term Of
the circuit court followed by public
hanging, is his chiefest delight.
The negro was once the white
mans slave, but that was only for a
short time, and was part of the great
scheme which God had in mind to
better prepare him for the enjoyment
of the great things which he meant
to bestow upon him in the future.
BY long and close association with
the white man the negro learned all
of his ways and his most innermost
thoughts, and can now size him up
and classify him just as accurately as
2 cotton buyer does the different