The Washington herald., 1914-02-05
Statesmen, Real and Near.
By FRED c. KELLY.

/ N---
BY FRED c. KELLY.
Representative Claude Kitchin. o
North Carolina. rarely engages in con-
versation with q friend without firsl
| Kitchin Is the member of the Ways
and Means Committee who will probably
succeed Oscar Underwood as House
leader IL Oscar should get himself elected
to, the United States Senate.
But this In simply about Kitchin and
cigars. A man walks up to him to ask
him a question. and before answering
him Kitchin inquiries:
Have you got cigarT'
Or perhaps he feels In the friend &
vest pockets to find 10 there isn't a
smokesble cigar nesting there.
Kitchin 10 willing TO buy cigars on his
own account, OF course, but he smokes
. good many and his supply keeps run
ming out: besides, he thinks it's a great
joke to get them from his friends.
The other day Representative Tim
Ansberry. OF Ohio. walked UP to Kitchin
to inquire about some intricate phase of
pending Statecraft. and Kitchin replied:
Lets go out here and smoke. Haven't
you got q cigar?'
81 haven't any cigar. but I'll gladly
take you downstairs and buy you ont"
volunteered the magnanimous Tim.
They started downstairs. In the eleva-
tor Kitchin emphatically said:
Remember. Col. Ansberry. that never
smoke anything less than a ,5icent
cigar You needn't think you're going
to take me down here and insult me
with a cigar costing or 10 cents"
At that point their conversation was
int . " annfhar NJ
elevator. a man with Southern accent.
evidently visitor in Washington.
Aren't you Mr.. Kitchin?' he asked.
tapping Claude on the shoulder.
Yes"
I'm from your district" said the WIS.,
itor: I've shaken hands with you once
or twice at meetings. and used to know
your father
"GIad to see you." said Kitchin. land
won't you come with US to the cigar coun-
ter. We were about to buy a few stogies.
I was Just joking my friend Ansberry
here about getting me 25-cent
cigar. I've heard II said that there are
people who spend that much for a smoke.
although 1t seems scarcely believable."
They walked up to the cigar counter
and Kitchin enunciated distinctly to the
clerk:
LET me have a nickers worth Of those
stogies-the kind, you know, that I al
ways smoke"
Elmer Murphy. a weli-known Washing
ton correspondent. was the victim one
day of an excess charge Of Is cents by
q conductor on an interurban railroad
running out OF Los Angeles. 1t was only
15 cents, but It made Murphy exceedingly
Indignant and he racked his brain for q
way to get even.
When he got back TO Los Angeles he
made up an itemized bill against the rail-
road. working In such legal phrases as
he knew. and sent II to the claim depart
ment. The bill included such items as
loss OF peace OF mind. loss
Of time, and so on. Altogether his claim
amounted to slIos.
In his letter to the railroad company
Murphy gave his address at the Office Of
a friend. Then he went to the friend and
told him what to do.
They will send a claim agent around"
forecasted Murphy. Always tell him
you don't know where I am. After he
has been here four or five times ask him
what he wants and when he tells you give
an amused laugh. He'll ask you what
you're laughing about and then you say
to him:
why you're evidently up against 1t. |
Iuht man murphy gust loves 10 get INTO
a lawsuit. He has lots Of money ana
will probably spend ten times the amount |
OF his claim simply for the fun of max |
Ing the railroad company pay II. II
I were you I would settle with him for |
almost any sum and get rid Of him.
And the strange thing was that 1t all
came about Just as Murphy had mapped |
out.
He purposely kept out of the way of
he claim agent and this threw a certain /
,loak OF mystery about him that gave
more dignity to his claim.
Then he left Los Angeles and came on |
o Washington. few days after ar
living here, Murphy got a letter from the
abroad company. 1t said:
I'VE are wondering II you would be
Wiling to compromise your claim and
AXE 81 in full settlement"
Representative Billy Kent. a well-to-
10 California statesman. went into an
himself an overcoat He picked out one
aid would wear.
That coat ought to last you two or
hree years" the salesman remarked.
IF II does as well as other coats I've
lad II vii last about twenty years" de-
Jared Kent. This will be only the
bird overcoat ever had in my life
He was telling the truth. and the ex-
'lanation lies only partly in the fact that
e has lived much of the time in Cali
ornia, where an overcoat isn't needed
much. The main part Of the explanation
) that when he was a Chicago alderman
e owned an cid gallery coat that re-
used to wear out. When the papers made
un Of It. he refused to put II aside. Kent |,
dhered to that old yalfery coat for years
nd years and years. until Il became al
most q municipal scandal.
CupyrisAt. 1916. BY Fred C. Kelly. All rights re-