El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-07-15

TN a recent article upon the periIs
! OF matrimony wrote these lines:
The only way to be happy
! though married. is to look before you
leap. instead OF crying, when it's too
late. over the bump you got"
Would Like to Know How.
a man writes, apropos Of that opin-
ion, that he will give a large, handsome
chrome to anybody who can finish any
practical diagram for looking man or
a woman over on the safe side OF the
monial bumps.
That's easy. OF course nobody is wise
enough TO be able to tell absolutely
what sort Of husband or wife a man
or woman will make, because mat-i-
mony is the acid test Of character, and
until it is applied to an individual we
never know for certain what is pinch
beck and what is pure gold
Matrimony doesn't change the charac-
ter OF men and women It merely
brings out what is strongest in them.
It turns good men and women into an
gels, and It converts bad men and Wo-
men into devils, and this being the case
it doesn't take any Sherlock Holmes to
give a pretty good guess at the kind Of
a husband or wife any particular maid
or bachelor will make You have TO oh
and multiply them by the common hap
penings Of life
Take, for instance, the youth who s
q lounger and a barroom loafer, who
hangs about pOolrooms and saloons and
who has never done an honest days
work in his life, and who spOnges on
his old parents for a living. Can any
girl give him the once over without
perceiving that he will make the sort
OF husband who will always be too
tired TO work, and whose wife viii have
to take in boarders TO support him2
Take the drunkard- Does it require
a prophetic soul in woman to surmise
that the man who has found surceaSe
for his worries in drink before mar
rage is going to drown his troubles in
liquor after marriage. when the day
comes when the baby has the collie and
the rent is overdue, and the wife is
sick and peevish, and when instead Of
maUrimony being a glad, sweet song it
is one grand how'll
StinEy Man Single VIII Be Stingy
Man Married.
Take the man who is stingy. A girl
with eyes in her head ought TO be able
10 see whether a man has a Yale lock
on his pocketboOk just as well before
she is married TO him as afterWard.
The man who is always haggling over
pennies, who invariably buys the cheap
est seats in the theater and takes a girl
to the least expensive restaurant and
whose whole talk is Of money, gives
her ample warning that he is going to
make a tightwad husband
The man who has high temper, and
who is always getting m1tfed about
something, and who goes into Jealous
RACES every time a girl is civil to any
other man couldn't proclaim any louder.
If he shouted il through a megaphone,
that he would make an unjust, cruel
and suspicious husband that would
make his wife wish she were dead every
day she lived with him.
Easy to See the Embryonic Tyrant.
And the man who looks upon women
with contempt, who sneers at them,
and who believes that a woman should
be nothing but household slave. Can
any woman be fool enough to marry a
man like that and not know that she
will get husband who will be a grind
ing tyrant to herr
And the tests TO apply TO women are
equally obvious Take the little silly,
fluffy haired girl who babies like an
infant Can any man listen to her for
five minutes and not know that he who
marries her will get a fool for a wife,
and one who will bore him stiff when
her girlish beauty has vanished2
Take the girl who is the daughter Of
poor man, yet who is always dressed
like a fashion plate. Does it take any
wonderful power Of deduction for a
man TO reason it out that the girl whose
whole soul is set on dress, and who is
selfish enough to sacrifice her old faith
er to crafty her love Of finery, will
offer up her husband on the same altar2
Take the girl who is noted for her