Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1914-08-12

L
ed before the Judge. 1t was his first
time in q court before a jury.
Prisoner a. the bar" asked the
clerk, "dO you wish to chsi'enge any
Of the jury.
The prisoner looked them over
carefully and with q skilled eye.
Well. & he replied, I'm not exact
ly what you calls in training, but
guess could stand round or two
with that old gesser in the corner. ' III
Sci. Mirror. NJ N. 3
hadn't Seen Any.
With the. boundless enthusiasm Of
his kind, the foods faddist harangued
the mob on the marvellous results to
be obtained from chewing soap and
eating nut butter. 4.
Friends" he cried, swelling visibly
and skipping his chest, two years
ago l was a walking skeleton, hag.
gard miserable wreck What do you
suppose brought about this great
change In me"
He paused to see the effect Of his
words. Then o. voice rose from
among his listeners: "W0t changer
Budding Etymolosist.
Tid-Bits: Nov, boys, said the
teacher, Il want you to to bear in
mind that the word stan at the end
of a word means the place Of Thus
we have Afgbanistan the place Of
Afghans: also t1industAn-the place
Of Hindus. Can any one give anoth-
or example?
Nobody appeared very anxious to
do so, until little Johnny snaggs, the
Joy Of his mother and the terror Of
the cats, said proudly
Yes, sir; can. Umbrellastan-
the place for umbrellas
They Didn't.
One morning while Mrs. Cobb was
at her summer home In the country
she decided to 60 up to town and
spend the day with !, ! friend. Her
grocer had not called y" the time she
was ready to leave. 30 she wrote
card:
IAN out. Don't leave anything,
and tackled It on the door.
Upon her return at night she found
the house had been ransacked and
nearly everything Of any value had
been taken. On the card which she
had left on the door these words had
been added: ,..
Thanks. We haven't left much
Magazine.
A Young Fan.
Willie Jones examination papers
and how he answered them.
Who settled New York. and when?.
Willie's answer: The Athletics last
fall.
Name the chief product Of Georgian
Ans: Tirus Cobb.
What is meant sby the Boston ten
party, Ans: Speaker must be the
party meant. His first name starts
with a T. .3s III. ..5 N
What did Washington do at Valley
Forge? ANS: Washington never
played there. Its not in that leeg.
Who founded Philadelphia and
made famous Indian treaty? Ans:
Connie Mack did. The Indian freely
was when he sined up Cheef Bender.
LEX.
Hard 20 Teach.
Into the police court Of Mobile
there had been brought for the fourth
time negro boy, charged with chick
en-stealing.
The magistrate: determined to ap-
peal to the boys father. ''See here;''
said His Honor, to the. parent, this
boy of yours has been up In court so
many times for stealing chickens that
I am tired Of seeing him here.''
Il doesn't blame yo', jedge," said
the father, IAN I's tired Of SEEM him
here & s
'.Then, why don't you tesch him
how to act? Show him the right way,
and he won't be coming here"
II has showed him de right way,
jedge," said the old man, very earn
estly. has cert'n'y showed him de
right way, but somehow dat wuthless
niger keeps gittin' caught comm
away wifi de chickens. Argonsut.
Looked Like IL.
Old Peppercop didr I like wkiters.I
He couldn't have told you why, or
what He disliked shout them; all he
knew was that he hated them. Some
people are like that about policemen
but there's generally Z reason for.
It
One day old Peppercop entered q
restaurant where he WAS not known,
and q waiter approached him before
he had had time to study the menu
with the seriousness It deserved.
The waiter, smiling In that annoy
ing way that waters do, made bad
start by causing the old gentleman
to jump by Ticking crumb that
wasn't there OF the table.
He made bad start worse by ad-
dressing Mr.. Peppercop.
Good morning, sir! have, sir, dew
lied kidneys, pigs feet and calves
bEains!" III ai.;
Old Peppercop looked up.
i. Really" said he. And you look
like IT. ny have some cold beef and
boiled potatoes
. . d IT.. 4 d Y u . b.