The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-08
DOLLY-ETTES
a DIPLOMAT is a person who knows
when NOT to know anything!
'Frow's husband?" asked Mrs litter.

"Hows husband?' asked Mrs. litter.
Able to be his feet" returned Mrs. pumpkins
with smile. He has the Tango"
"Bad? asked her friend sympathetically
The very worst form" Mrs. pumpkins replied
Its attack"
Lands sake forevermorew exclaimed Mrs. litter
1T may be. but hope not" sighed Mrs. pumpkins
Hope not what?' inquired Mrs. litter.
THAT it's forevermore-chronic in other words" said
Mrs. pumpkins
'Elave you had a speciaiist?" asked the kindly
friend,
-severai-daneng specialists she replied. Il
hope he'll get over 1t He'll probably caper about
until some notion bites him. The chief charm of
matrmony, my dear, is that you never know what
your husband is going do next After 40 years
of married life you find that your big fat bald
headed husband is nothing more than a grown-up
boy, and boys have to play you know. If you don't
let them amuse themselves way they will another.
the idea is to direct them toward play
that does them the least harm and doesn't make you
gray-headed over night
Those who have achieved husbands know what
trial they are; but have you ever seen a woman
without who didn't nightly this natural
exasperation?" asked Mrs. litter
And the husbands the women
seem to care for them. AS for myself, cannot i'm
agine anybody more trying" Mrs pumpkins put in
than the model Gs14) husband, who always behaves
himself The real tragedy of married existence lies in
the dull acceptance of things they Half the
married I know act if they sentenced
life Pooh Whenever pumpkins isn't producing
some excitement in the family circle. what
can do by way of getting up a sensation"
DO you remember" began. after a
moments pause.
Haven't time to look back" said Mrs pumpkins
hurredy. TOO busy footing along with the merry
times in which live and"
But YOU about to tell about Bump
kins and this attack of Tango he's suffering withn
Mrs. litter interrupted.
so was said Mrs. pumpkins cheerfuly. MY
dear it's the prettest sight little fell
low ggy-jigglng over the house the ducet notes
of the Victrola. He enjoys it like sweet simple
ehild-like creature he ts-poor DEAR"
But he's been dead against Tango" Mrs
litter observed
"of course he has" the quick reply but that's
one of the fine qualities in Bumpkins nature He
always growls about the things people do until
he does them hmselfl Mr. pumpkins is one of the
most human men know. That is why he is SO irrita-
BILE. 1t used to be that time
the Tango he'd put his back his hair would
stand like the qulls of the fretful porcupne and
o heaven, us! even prejudiced the dog
against it, Now that what call mean When
anybody played Tango tune the Viotrola he
would begin to bark like mad, and when children
began to dance, why Pepper would almost go crazy
Pepper and the 'dawg'l see our girls got the
Tango about the same time they got collection of
young dudes to running after them 1 give you
my word. 1t has been months since have seen the
rugs down in my house. The bell rings and in
rushes crowd, and TIowdy- Howdy -dov they ex-
elaim and up fly the rugs and on goes Tango
record and the dance is its height"
How jolly Mrs. litter chirped
1T used to bore Mr.. pumpkins nearly to death"
Mrs. pumpkins went "and go in the den and
drag out his Ingersoll and Voaire Herbert Spen
Ger, and Darwins Origin of Species (guess he was
wondering what those young dudes eyoluted FROM
and he'd fume and he'd call me in and SOW
he didn't think girls ought allowed to dance
such outrageous steps, that sort of thing AT
the County club he'd fairly froth the mouth and
when he see the grown-ups dancing promptIv
observe that he couldn't people wanted
to make such cartoons of themselves
And now?" inquired Mrs. litter.