World's cresset. [volume] (JAH-ville [Colony], Fowler, Mo.) 1891-19??, 1914-08-27
THE MOUNDS GIVE Up
THEIR SECRETS
Continued from last week .

Again in New york the speed .!
nay trip WAS Interlercd with. Al
railroad men were on strike, ana
I was c,n. PEELED to engage &
monop'ane to reach Monnd City
{ went viz the iii,hy Way and
took a slant at OId Man Monday
He was bordering the Two man
Theory and was too wrapped in
thought to pay any attention to
me, but I didn't feel hurt. |
knew he ought to ponder such
ST. bjectS its good for his soul. |
reached nay destination at II: II
a. NJ. the next day and found Old
Bro. Bishop with his tongue out
waiting for me. lie ground out
his latest poem then told me what
was on his mind. and that very
afternoon we tapped three
mounds. Prominent among our
discoveries is that of the tomb of
an emperor of a prehistoric race.
This race was known as the On.
congetes Ragitagus and the king
name was Hecolaguriuma, but
according to hieroglyphiCs on
dis tomb was called "Hec" for
short. This race lived u few
months after the Glacial Period
and a year or two before the
Crustaccan period
According to marks found on the brozcn in.
scripton plate on the tomb we regret to say
that the plate was never paid for. We shudder
TO think of the interest that has accrud on that
debt though all there years. As my old friend
Dr.. Huxley, once told me confidcntally, Take
Il tip from your Uncle lluck aud never 90 in
debt" The negligence thus exhibited by the
Onconcgce. kagitaguscs proves to my mind
cUncusively that the two-man theory of
creation il right that one man was the father of
honest folks and the other tho father OF
dishonest people,
| This il further proved by aparagraph i'll Prof
Diukenspers famou. scieHtiic treatise on
| Ebn,t IN
The speculative lode strata of the cong me rat
species Of human beings is pcrpcndicular.y the
! parallel Of the inverse bypothcses, in other
words. whom the pragmatical perennial ma s,icat
tho representations Of pan1hesln the dual
homo is postuativcly evident
Now, my friends, | shall intro.
duce you to your ancient prcde.
cessors. Discoveries show that
this prehistoric emperor reigned
2,149,562 years before the
Mound City postofflce was estab.
llshed. lie and his people were of
gigantic size. Then had jaws like
a road scraper and they ate with
scoop shovelS. The women died
from worry trying to reduce
their size. AS my old friend
DR.. Hank popiniay in Bonn bay
once said succiucJly:A!) is vanity
Old Hank was right. Another Of
our discoveries was a gla ssv
spheroid, resembling d mode = n
marble. We tested this NluN car
bbfltrpomoger1 Ia sUusIUIZau ms Jru
ment that locates and appraises
antiques) and the reult was 80
degrees electro attaction and So
degrees Carlo induction. This
shows that the marble was play
ed with on july 4, T., 165, S74 B. c.
and that the boy was crippled.
from this we rightly infer tina
his parents defended the two
man theory.
So, my friends, you plainly see
that this is hallowed ground,
As tor me, l do not see yourihills
and Wales in happy verdure clad.
I see only the ruins of an ancient
civilization. | do not hear the
rhythmic melody of your thrush
NOR the love throb of your night.
ingale. l hear only the moaning
spirits OF a forgotten race crying