The Washington herald., 1914-10-18
PAP PINKHAM
He Introduces the President to Squar' johnson

down to the depot to meet me as come
In from Tarrytown 1 think I'd kind OF
BY John. but he's right. and he's made
q pint" shouted the deacon.
Il don't see the pint" said Squar'
johnson as he colored up. why should
our brass band go down to the depot tc
welcome man who hain't never done
anything In particular fur Jericho? Enol
Is good nun man in his way. but did
the outside world ever hear of him2 Was
he consulted about buildin' the new
sewer or paintin' the town hall? Has he
could be boosted 10 the top?"
Enos he's knocked your pint out and
made one agin you" said the deacon,
but Wen hear from some Of the rest.
How is II with you. Jabez Fowler?''
Il can't exactly say till l know what
the band is goin 10 do" replied Jabez.
My old woman is mighty fond Of brass
band tunes which lift up the heels, and
II the band'n come over TO my house
three times week and give US sumthin'
lively III chip in
'Mebbe Pm mistaken in this crowd,
said the Squar' as he looked around in a
serious way. 'Mebbe this is a crowd
composed OF freeborn Americans whose
forefathers fought at Bunker Hill, and
the Statue Of Liberty and sell il fur old
junk. To say that ! am astonished does
not half express my feelin's-"
That sellin' the Statue OF Liberty Is
deacon. but what we want is a free
expreshun of opinion. Jube Hornbecker
looks as IL he wanted to say sumthin'." :"
I'D like to, ask the squar'," said lube.
band to meet him at the depot when he
comes homeg
''Bein' I hold the posishun / do" an
as the leadins man in Jericho, II the band
wanted to go down and see, me on, or
wanted to be there TO welcome me home
/ don't reckon anybody would find fault. .
But I'd want the same thing" said
Ebenezer Scott Il amt no justice OF the
peace, but my dairy is milking eight
cows this summer and I feel I'm as big
as anybody. l go over to Dobbs Ferry
once in two weeks, and I should want
that band to toot me on and toot me
home ag'in."
There may be a pint" said the
deacon, as he scratched his ear. but
don't skassly see it. Mebbe the SquaT
want to say suuthin' further about lib
erty and Bunker HIP
I'm sayin','' replied the Squar', as he
heaved long sigh, that patriotism and
love Of country seems to be deader'n
door nail in these United States Mebbe
there's a man in this crowd aside from
me who'd be willin' to shed his blood
that our glorious republic might be saved
from ruin and desolashun, but IL thar
be can't name him. You might as well
disperse to your homes and tell your
wives and children that Jericho is
"Bv John, but what a p'int-what
pint" whispered the deacon Before
We bust up and go to ruin. however, I'd
like to hear from Reuben White: Reuben's
to know what influence brass band has
on a town"
The influence of a brass band is ac-
cordin' to the leader" said Reuben. I've
seen 'em where they jumped a town right
to the front In four weeks, and I've seen
en- where they killed things dead in two:
The leader wants TO be pecooliar sort
of a man. He wants to be born fur the
place, same as Washington was. He
wants to be ready to die at two minutes
notice. or to live fur hundred years"
And mebbe you think you're the
man." queried the Sauar' as he pounded
on the counter with his fist.
Il do. / know / am. ! am the only
man in Jericho as kin lead band to sue
I'm a self-sacrifcin' Critter, as you all
know, and If this meetin' thinks best"
But the meeting shouted him down, and
II was five minutes before Deacon SPOON
er could make his voice heard. and then
There's more p'ints bobbin' up here
than you kin shake a stick at. but we
hear from Lish Billings. He's the only
man in Jericho who kin play on an ac-
Gordon. What d'you say, Lish?"
There's mighty little to be said and
nutbin' to bust up the country" answered
Hill know how much wind it takes to
blow a brass band?"
Nobody did, and a hush fell upon the
crowd
1T takes ten pounds, reckoned by a
Jung tester" said Lish. "and you'd want
an extra pound fur walkin' up hill. There
was q lung-tester man in town two weeks
ago. and every son Of US handed over
nickel and took a blow. We blowed and
trained and blowed. and Reuben White |
was one of 'em who blowed a sole on his |
loot, and yit no man reached seven |
pounds. Whar' you goin' to git your |
Wind to blow them horns?'
There was a painful silence. while you |
,ould count a hundred, and then Deacon |
Spooner said:
by John, but I'm gwine home and tell |
he old woman that / don't know beans !
vnen the bags united, and the rest Of
-ou's better do the same thingE