The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-01

.F MOst people dr-re lazy an mats why they're poor I can think iv no other raisin al prsint excipt they haven't got tn gunption ayether likeness an poverty go hand in hand I was sthruck with this while lookin' out " window iv tn Grand Palace hotel an watchn some dawdin iron wurrukers engaged in putin up buildin' fir me. 1 see wan fellow ketchin red hot iron bolts in bucket instead v with his hands, which wud've been more expeedityous. l obsarved that this happy der quit his socalled employment at F o'clock sharp an did not come back till nearly wan Also he did not shin up to his job as a fi-nanceer wud if his bank was up there, but lazily waited till he cud be histed thrty-five stories on steel beam I am told that nanny iv this class put in some iv tn best hours iv tn night in sleep It's tn likes iv thm that listens to tn appeals iv reckless agytators against tn rich Great fortunes arre blessing to tn counthry. They're like reservoir that nature has established fir storing large quanti- ties iv tn roy boly instead iv havin' it lyn around in small puddles in front iv vrybody's durestep
 Tn govermint proticts tn forests; why shudden't itprotct gr-reat fortune an keep peo- pie firm cuttn into it? Take me frind lawn D.'s large thracts iv coin-bearin' viggytation much iv it vargin growth that has nver been touched be tn tax iv tn intruder Be rights tn govermint ought to make this a reservation an give people tn privilege to picnic in it, but not to carry anything away. Maybe they might have license to shoot wan reformer each, in tn season. Iv coorse it wud not be right to let thim go further an. kill off all tn reformers who infest this splindid fortune an make it inthrestn to nachraliss, an specyal care shud be taken not to desthroy tn phianthropists who live there an ar-re quite tame an Harmless an consume on'y tn small vggytation. An tn prisidint wud be we'll advised if he appinted lawn D. head for ester As private individjool he has done pretty well in protectin' tn property, but he might be aven more useful if he was goverrnint officer with a sootatle salary an had tn right to shoot interopers, he says. [
 An there ye are. I will scorn tn rich no longer. I will blend me tears with theirs over tn tyrannical income tax blank, an whin me con- gressnan inthrojooces bill to cut down tn tar tiff on overshoes I will raise me hand an cry: : Have ye no pity?' But, iv coorse, if us two philantlropists are goin' to get tn wurruld back to this hail-fellow-well-met basis tn rich must do their share. They must not indulge their invy iv tn poor. They must not be too sinsitive to tn scorn v tn penniless or take their own con- dition too much to heart. It won't do amy good fir thim in their inpatience to turn arnychists an threaten to stop maxim money oness we quit persecutin' thim. Let thim ralize their impor- tance in savn us firm tn ithrouble iv gatherin' tn gilt so that we can spind all our time at frivo- lous jobs as plumbers, bricklayers, an tn like. Let thim say with tn Scotch dilect pote that Hogan knows:
 Is there fir honest opylence who hangs his
 head an a that?
 Tn cow'rd slave l pass him by, I dare be rich fir a that
 F'r a that, an a that, their overalls an a
 that, tn shovil's but tn idler's stamp,
 We've got tn stuff fir a that
 !" An besides, if it'll help me frind firm Bos- ton to feel amy betther about tn wurruld, I'd tell him that tn poor don't hate tn rich. take ye, Hinnissy, riprisntative v that arrogant class an beyant hearin' ye wanst or twicet wish