The Washington herald., 1914-02-27
CUPID GETS A SPANKING
By OLIVE RoBERTs BARTON.

~ OLIVE RoBERTs BARTON.
tcc,grisht. MAD
| The widow, who was visiting the Carl
Won vorts was accomplishing wonders In
ireorganizing Wellsield society.
Whereas, before her ARRIVAL women had
found suficient recreation I'm every other
week reading clubs, with q sprinkling of
| fancy work, or tea parties In between
but always distinctly 'hen"-now the air
was full Of tango tunes and every One
as practicing the s'scissors" from stately
old Judge Cristfield 70 Mrs. Smythe. who
tipped the scales at two-ten.
The widow was up to date. She weighed
up to date. stood up to date. with her
toes pointing very much In opposite d.
trections. and dressed UP TO date.
Therefore, being able to do all three,
she always looked ''adorable." to quote
| the male portion of the town. and
| ridiculous" according to the women.
BY some miracle she had induced the
Van Wort coterie to organize q dancing
class. and had imported q dancing mas
tier, who exchanged his knowledge OF
the '.grape-vins'' for hard-earned Wells
field dollars, once every week on Friday
night.
| MIR. and Mrs. Edgar Collins belonged
to the coterie and were doing their best
at the tango classes. But Mrs. Collins
did the figures with about the same grace
that a chubby young bear might tackle
the moon dance.
Mrs. Collins could bake an angelfood
cake like a feather. fry chicken you'd
never forget, and make peach ice cream
for the kings birthday-but she couldn't
tango.
She Could make all the dearest, daint-
lest, laciest COATES for the three little
golden-haired Collins kiddies, and keep
them healthy Of body and sunny of mind
l-but she could not get the hesitation
waltz.
And although you felt the magic touch
OF the home-maker the instant you en-
tered the Collins door. and wondered at
| the luck Of some men when plump, white
skinned. pretty Mrs. Collins herself well
| coined you-that lady was having the
| most wretched time Of her life. all on
| account of the one-step.
And then! The widow had also in
stituted tiffin at the Van Vorts. 1t was
| surprising how law offices and directors
rooms were locked these days promptly
at 5. and figures from all parts Of
the town hurried this Mecca Of social
aspirations. to have a cup Of tea with
the charmer.
Edgar Collins at first urged his wife
to go to these little affairs. They would
meet there and walk home together.
But one day a kiddie had a cold. and
another day she had an engagement at
the dressmaker's, and a third day II was
the cooks day out, and she couldn't 20.
To be frank. she was glad Of excuses,
and to be equally frank, Mr.. Collins was
glad Of excuses-to 90 alone.
On these days II seemed to him the
widow always favored him with some
Of those for-you-alone smiles.
He ceased asking his wife to meet him
NJ rraflv ha MA
glad. She never knew when some one
would put a one-step in the music box
Mr.. Collins ordered two new suits that
could be heard around the corner, adopt
ed Jack Binger hats and managed a
man-of-the-world look. He also an
nexed a cane.
But ii was his sins of omission that
hurt Mrs. Collins He used to praise
the meals, admire a new dress and toss
up the kiddies. Lately he neither
praised. admired. nor tossed. He seemed
preoccupied. and went out great deal
evenings
One day an invitation came. The Van
Vorts were giving a the dansant for their
guests at the most exclusive club In
town. :.
Wensfeld Immediately got busy. ordered
a new dress and tested the rubber tips
on its dancing heels.
Mrs Collins fell into line, with an un-
happy sigh. and to make II worse her
husband had insisted that the frock be
up to date. When the minaret gown, with
its friu amidships and baggy knees,
came home, Mrs. Collins cried.
Then she dried her eyes and sat think
ing. Slowly a faint smile grew around
the corners Of her mouth. She decided
that as nature had intended her for a
mother and not for a monkey, nature
would likely help her out. But II must
have a little aid.
The night of the dance one OF the
children was not well, according to Mrs.
Collins, and she decided she'd better
not CO. Mr.. Collins didn't fuss much. He
just winked the farthest eye ana went
alone.
The awful dress remained in the box
under the bed, and after her husband had
shut the front door, Mrs. Collins winked
both eyes and went up to the attic to
hunt something.
At , a. m. Mr.. Collins arrived home,
and by the street light saw a sign on the
house. Closer inspection revealed the
word measles in black letters. A suit
case stood in the vestibule. His! Packed.
He understood. To enter meant quar-
antine. OF course there was no rush at
the Office, but. He didn't ring to rouse
the family. He went to a hotel.
The widow passed the next morning. |
saw the sign and shivered. Mrs. Col |
lins behind the curtain saw the shiver
and smiled. |
Mr.. Collins called up and asked how |
long the quarantine would last, re-
marking incidentally that the meals at |
the hotel were rotten and the bed |
worse. Mrs. Collins said she thought /
three or four weeks, smiling to her
self.
Al fifteen minutes after the phone
rang again. Mr.. Collins, once more.
This time in a rage. No one would let
him in! Even the Van Vorts were afraid
of him. He might stand II a week but
he'd be blamed II he'd put up with IL
a day longer.
He stood it for two weeks. Then
Mrs. Collins said the kiddie was bet
ter and let him come home.
She filled him up on fried chicken,
scalloped potatoes, angel food cake
and ice cream, and had roses and soft
shaded candles The children looked
like fluffy little fairies and she looked
well she looked like the mother of
fluffy little fairies.
Mr.. Collins drained his coffee cup
with a sigh of happiness.
Then he looked up suddenly and
at his wife. Who in the
world could compare with her? Ger
tainly not. He sprang to his feet
and went around the table.
virginia, darling" was all he said
IS he held out his arms.
1t was all that was necessary.