The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-12
BUGLE CALLS
By The Baron
Ifyou're lying half dead on Afganistans plains
And the women come out, for to cut up your
remains,
Just turn to your rife and blow ont your brains,
And go to your God like soldier.-Kipling

!,
And go to your God. like a soldier.-Kipling
Thomas Atkins. ESQ.,, gentleman
and soldier, and, he sometimes gets
the name of the absent minded
beggars," but that does not trouble
Tommy, no not a bit. it merely it'll
lates his palate. for his vociferous
hurnor. which is apt to be prevalent
in the service. Let us take few
Bugle calls. so that we can become
more familiarized with Mr.. Atkins.
The Reveille. or the Rouse, is the
first call which penetrates the ears
the Soldier. awakening him from
his pleasant dreams. L bought a
horse, and then stole donkey"
sounds the bugler, loud shrill.
There is story connected with
every call, and the following is said
to be authentic in conjuncture with
the Rouse.
Away back in prehistoric ages, a
bold and valiant Knight, Mackiu-
merry by name, ia a felicitous frame
of mind ventured to look upon the
wine, which was red, so that he be-
came very much iuebriated. He
purchased charger, and after great
difficulty he arrived at his destina
ton. Upon his awakening the next
morning, he found much to his sur
prise that he had been the victum of
circumstances. Seeing donkey in
the vicinity,th Military Apothegm
Black dog for w bite monkey
seemed to strike him with mental
velocity. and with the strategy of a
Napoleon, he hied his way and con
fiscated the Donkey. leaving as an
equivalent we Ode Hoss.'' The
Irish blame the Mounted Kitty"
the Scotch and vice versa.
The next call of any Importance
is the Breakfast bugle, Come to
the cook house door. bows; come to
the cook house door," which calls
all mess orderly men into action.
After breakfast, the I5ugler sounds
the Sick call. The lazy, the lame,
the sick: one 3y one are brought be
fore the Medical officer.
Herewith a scene that did occur
in B.
Medical Officer Phwats the
matter wild yez?"
Tommy Atkins-"I've got bloc
min pain in my 'ead. SIR
M. O.--"Wots yer denomina-
tion?''
T. A.-"Dunno.'
M. O.(turning toward the Apoth
ecary)-Plll number nine, castor
oil maximum"
The Orderly Room is the scene
of the next trouble. 1t is here that
Mr.. Atkins gets it in the neck"
Should it he Highland Regiment,
the Piper plays the we'll knowE
Scottish air, A Mans Man for a
That" March the prisoners in,
commands the Sergeant Mayor.
You are charged with creating a
disturbance after lights out. Ser
geant. give your evidence"
Sergeant-The prisoner, Private
B was singing to the moon
about ten-thirty last evening"
Singing to the moon?' exclaimed
the Colonel, why. that is no crime!"
emphasized the judicature.
All, but there was no moon. Col
onel, it was as dark as hi" con-
cluded the non com.
Col.-Hm. see, drunk-Seven
days confined to barracks. March
the prisoner out, Seargent Major"
Private B Is handed over to
the Defaulter Sergeant, who asks
him if he has a good ear for music?
For" continued lie, the bugler
will sound the defaul,er's call every
half hour, and your highness must
present yourself a, the guard room
every time you hear it. In the
meantime, there is pick and shovel
which you can make use of, the
earth has quite few hills that are
obnoxious to H. Ms. officers when
they are out for walk"
The defaulter IA only allowed in
the Wet Canteen one hour per diem.
viz, from eight until nine. but dur
ing the interlude he makes the best
of his time by hopping up all the
pongalnw beer) in sight. and as long
as he observes the golden rule of Sill
eDce, be generally wins the day.
The officers mess call creates quite
furore among the TONNES. The
-,f6cer's wives get pudding and pies,
the soldiers wives get sklily ira la
la la etc. These are the words that
represent the officers mess call or
a part of them. SO to speak. Retreat
4 L