The Washington herald., 1914-06-14
THE GRAND PROMOTER

musical attachments to plano, OF
couse? There are three or four Of them.
was asked. to form a trust. but after
looking them over, ! saw that could do
| better. In twenty-four hours had fig
ured it out I simply enlarged upon the
attachment idea and brought electricity
to my aid. have struck II. sir-l have
| worked a scheme which will revolution
ize the world. Here's our piano in the
parlor, and our electric battery In the
cellar below it. We run our wires where
we will and each wire produces a off
ferent tune on the keys OF the piano.
We don't get music on set occasions. but
1t begins at daylight and lasts right
| through till the last OF the family has
gone to bed. Let us shake hands!"
'I don't exactly understand"
Then 1 will make IT plain. We at
| tach a wire to- the front door. Every
time the door is opened the piano plays
Yankee Doodle We attach a wire 10
| the stairs. Every time one ascends or
descends, the piano plays, 'Whar's Dat
Coon?' We run a wire to the kitchen
range. Let the cook remove a cover.
or bang a door and the soft. sad note, Of
Wearing of the Green float through
the house. Do you see the possibilities?
| Ycu must see them-you can't fail to
| catch on. Any family able to rent
piano at 50 per month can have the music
for eighteen hours per day. free of
cost. Think Of the influence exertet by
200 pianos on the same block"'
IF I wasn't hard up I shouldn't ask
you for the 81" said the chiropodist az
the major paused for breath.
But IL you can't raise the money I'll
carry the stock for you for a few weeks,
said the major, as he began crowding
forward. TN do 1t to raise money, and
I'd like the 81 you owe me to help OUT
"And now you see the idea" continued
the major after looking at him in an
absent way. I'VE patent the idea We
organize the Universal Musical Attach
ment Company and capitalize at S. 900.
I'll take the presidency, OF course, and
right here and now. 1 appoint you treas
urer. and I guarantee a salary OF at least
| 900 a year. We start with the stock
in our hands. and we'll divide the first
million at 20 per cent. At 20 per cent. my
| boy, and within four weeks the public
| will be crying for It at par. Can you
leave $500 with me to secure $50, 900 worth
| Of stock?"
Lord, no, Didn't come in here after
g because I was hard up?''
Then make it s250-s1o0-s5o. I'll take
| you In on the ground floor. but you must
deposit something. you know. Ny dear
man, this Is the chance of your life. En-
| brace 1t and the Standard Oil Company
| won't be in It with you In a year. Throw
It over your shoulder and you'll die
| in the poorhouse. Leave me IS at least"
II couldn't leave Is cents,''
"The Universal Musical Attachment
| Company, with stock Jumping to 200 as
soon as the public catches onl My dear
man, don't let this stupendous enterprise
| get away from you. Go pawn your hat
| sell your shirt-raise a little money to
leave with me even II you have to rob the
dead. Remember. we run wires from the
piano to every part of the house. Even
| as the cook mashes the potatoes or rolls
out the pie crust We get Old Black Joe
and soften the family upstairs. It's the
idea of the century: there's more
money"
IT want the s. you owe mel" interrupt
ed the chiropodist.
I'VE attach a wire to the family cook
Every time the cook strikes the piano
plays Johnny, Get Your Gun" We at
tach a wire to the family sewing machine.
As the mother sews, the piano plays Our
willy Boy or Buffalo Gals The idea
can be carried to almost any length. Run
wire to the egg-beater. the ironing
board, the coal bin. or what not. We can
even attach one to the foot Of the cook
and have the piano play Heaven Is My
Home as the girl moves about the
kitchen. It's music without extra cost
1t does away with piano playing by hand.
It's the biggest, the grandest, the most
stu
But it's nothing to mel" interrupted
the caller. I've got to because Of your
faith in me, and I'll do 1t to prove to the
world that Mai. Crofoot never goes back
on friend. Yes; I'll carry s25o.0oo worth
Of stock for you and you can take It up
later on, and there you are. Come in
again - come in tomorrow. shall
finish the articles Of Incorporation today.
and
And the chiropodist was on the other
side of the door, As soon as he could
realize the situation. he pounded on the
door with his fist
No response.
MAI. Crofoot!'
No response.
Say, you sleek, slick old duffer. but
want those two dollars"
But the golden opportunity had passed.