The Washington herald., 1914-05-25
Statesnes, Real and Nsar.
nv rREp C. KELLY.

y. BY FHED -. hE<l<A/x. -
Senator Porter J. AcCumber OF MORN
Dakota. can probably talk more ser,ou..y
and more slowly than any man In public
life. A good shorthand reporter, or sood
lonRhand reporter, for that matter. ought
to be able to take down one Of McCum-
bers speeches and write letter home
between words without actually timing
Senator McCumber. we should say that
he delivers on the average about forty
Ave words q minute. He would not miss
giving each little syllable its fun quota
OF time for anything in the world. Take.
for example, the word every" Nine men
out OF ten will pronounce that word as II
IL were spelled "ey-ry." But nothing Ike
that occurs when Porter McCumber says
1t. He slowly and methodically pro-
nounces every little syllable. II he can
make two syiIables where only one grew
before, he will do II gladly.
And the oldest thing about McCumber's .
deliberate utterance Is that IL he becomes
angered In debate he proceeds even more
slowly than before. He talks louder. per-
haps, but no faster. To those n us who
are half inclined to talk more or less
RAPIDLY under stress Of extreme vexation.
McCumber Is a constant source OF won
der. His face fiushes with emotion. he
brings his fist down on the table with
yigor, and neutrality-suspicious.
what-he-has-to-say He talks the way
we imagine the average tortoise would
love to talk.
Representative Warren Worth Bailey.
Of Pennsylvania, often comes along with
an original angle Of view ON gwen
proposition group of Congressnen
were discussing the causes of the last
panic. One man offered the opinion
that IL was largely owing TO overproduc-
ton.
.I think you're right" remarked
RaiIey "Oyerproduction OF needed COM
modIties is the curse of the times. some
times 1 am seized with horror lest tnere
be an overproduction Of shoes III tnere
were too many shoes In the country, we
would, Of course. all have to go bare
| footed"
When the suffragets marched up tc
the Capitol little while ago, and formed
| in festive platoons out in front, armed
with futtering banners and petitlons' ons
percy z. Quin, member of Congress
| from Mississippi. might have been seer
| In the center Of group OF oniooker'
standing on the Capitol terrace. euin
was not in sympathy with the demonstra
! ton and muttered half TO himself:
They won't get my vote
Z r~---N
! anti-suffragist in Congress, CHANGED t'
he standing nearby and overhead Quin,
| remark. Now Tom is a great mimic M
! can modulate his voice to sound precisei!
like that of a frail little woman with
| red nose and strong opinions Assumin'
that tone for the moment, Tom SAID:
We'll either get your vote or wei
get YOUR seat in Congress.
whereupon Quin tried to turn aroun'
and answer the remark He was wedges
in too tightly to turn but over nj
shoulder hurled back with aceroity:
4 you'll have a hard time
\ rben the little sharp voice inquired:
.Wouid you mind giving me you
name?"
ouin by a desperate effort contrive
70 turn around then and when he saH
the ponderous. white-waistcoated form o
Tom Hefiin instead OF a scrawny TYP
of suffragette. he wilted completely ava
and gave himself up to laughter for fiv
minutes.
When Nelson O'Shaughnessy was stil
In Mexico City as charge dahaires
the American Embassy. he had the ac
auaiutance OF a young American. for
mer race track tout. who was extremel
useful in running errands TO point
where there was grave danger of bein
killed. This young man devoted almos
his entire time to consuming the variou
. brands of alcoholic beverages TO be ha
In the Mexican capital. and this CAV
, him an exaggerated sense OF bravery
|, IL ne thought of death at all. II wa
simply as a casual event too trivial to b
! avoided.
, O'Shaughnessy desired to get word on
day from Gen. Huerta whether he wa
h.
forces Nobody dared make the tri
through the lines to where Huerta wa
however-that is, no one excei
: O'Shaughnessy's friend, the former rae
: track tout
, Get the information" o'Shaushness
. told him. land when you come bac
: here don't tell what you know to livin
, soul except me.
!. When the courier returned. OShaugt
messy was in an important conferenC
with diplomats from other countries, an
at first thought II appeared difficult
get the message to him secretly. Bl
! the brave messenger had an inspiration
u He said he would break the news
code, Here was the information, as
gave it in the presence of the assemble
diplomats:
II saw the bloke, and he amt hep "
y to what he's goin' Z do, but the rum
, running high in the gauge. and l thin
he'll strike a hefty wallop soon"
Copyright. 1914. by Fred c. Kelly. All rsh