Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1914-01-08

D5HH9Eetzz..9!=4Aza=l[2:!I $
The minority is in the majority in Codington coun
ty. The last shall be first and the first shall be last.
President Wilson's family physician has insisted that
ne must not work. Amt it great stuff to be a PRESIDENT
Statistics show that 565, 100000 short tons Of coal were
mined in the United States in 1913. But the price per
short ton is long.
Quityergrowlin. WATERFOWL pays less taxes than any
Of the larger cities Of the state. # you want to dance you
must pay the fiddler.
An Oklahoma newspaper believes al Jennings, a train
robber and highwayman, has reformed. Then it %disproves
It's statement by saying that he has begun %practicing law.
There seems to be no sway' some newspapers can
secure an appointment as official paper unless it threatens
to send the officials to the straight jacket or hang them up
by the thumbs.
Watertown has just commenced to grow. Keep your
eye on the Indicator during the year. Of 1914. The city
commissioners are turning out q new model OF activity and
it is a winner.
James E. Bird, of Watertown, has been nominated on
the democratic state ticket for secretary Of state. It will
take a 'bird'' to beat Frank Glasner, the republican can
didate for the same office.
Automobiles are doubtless nice,
But Woman's charming carriage
On all occasions should suffice
10 drive a man to marriage.
Poor Henpeck often makes me laugh,
HIS nerve he tries to sing.
He calls his wife his better half,
Though she's the whole blame thing.
Why is it that the divers bricks
And bullets that meander
From fights and riots always hit
The innocent bystander?
Gen. Englesby should have at least been appointed
s'bee'' inspector under the Byrne administration. He has
got the "bee' and has had the "bee'' all the time on the
end of his name.
Henry Ford, the manufacturer of the Ford automo-
bile, will give ten millions Of dollars Of next years profits
to his employees in the factory. "Hank'' has made his
pile and is now willing to cut the profits with the boys in
the shop.
After looking at the picture of the destruction Of the
ancient city of Pompeii which was shown at the Idle Hour
Monday and Tuesday of this week, one cannot but think
that people in those days were pretty much as they are to-
day.
Johnny Ries, the Kranzburg gladiator, is said to be
IN the pink OF condition to win the fight for the Office Of
auditor Of Codington county. The other candidates for
that office will know they have been in a fight after the
smoke OF the battle has cleared away.
Geo. W. Egan has brought suit for damages against
the Sioux City Tribune for 100000. These papers had
their innings with George when he could not strike back;
now let them take their medicine and take it gracefully
7 is good Tor the system and a great "purifer''-we have
taken several doses if it and we believe it has done US a
heap OF good.
The Grant County News reports that a man residing
at Milbank killed a gopher on the road on New Years day
That's right, gopher the gophers before they gopher
your com, brother. We did not intend to spring this gag
until about the first of next June, but seeing that Mibanl
man IS rushing the season we cant let him beat us to it
The state of South Dakota used to have a soldiers
camp ground in Codington county-but it has faded away
until there is nothing left to remind us that WATERFOWL was
once the headquarters for the South Dakota national guarc
but a couple Of old cannons in the court house square
and il it had not been for a few old civil war veterans thu
governor would have dragged them over to Redfeld, too