Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1914-12-13
Members of Cabinet, Con
gressmen and Others at
Festive Board.
"UNCLE. SANS JUBILEE
DESCRIBES GATHERING
Presidents Injunction to Refrain
From Discussion Of War Is
sues Strictly Regarded.
ONE NEW MEMBER INITIATED
'skits Portray Gardner's Idea Of Army
and Federal Reserve Board
in Full Action.

WASHINGTON, December 12-Mem-
bers of the Cabinet. congressman.
diplomatists and leaders of all actiyi-
ties of the nations life gathered round
the board hero tonight at the Gridiron
Clubs winter dinner.
President Wilson'S earnest 5intunc-
ton to the American people to refrain
from public discussion OF war issues
was strictly regarded and the location
OF every one of the many satires and
dramatic skits was always within the
! shore lines of the two oceans which
bound the Americans. Uncle SANS
wards were given full opportunity to
air their grievances, for the most part
In song in a gathering described as
Uncle SANS Jubilee" The negro COM
plained OF the workings OF the civil
service law which has sentenced more
cotton fields than any other perenicious
legislation"
He also deplored the new primary
laws. and to the air of "Old Uncle Ned"
he sang:
There was an old delegate; his name
was Uncle Ned:
He lived long ago, long ago;
He went to conventions whenever he
was bid,
And that's how he lived, long ago
Chorus.
Then lay down the shovel and the
hoe,
And hang up the fiddle and the bow;
There's no more work for poor Uncle
Ned;
Tho primaries laid him low"
FARMER ANOTHER WARD
WITH A COMPLAINT
The farmer was anothe. ward with
complaint; he wanted n bunch OF
greenbacks. Up home he had shed
full of sQuashes, and wanted the Treas
In rir Lot fv,r~ !,
Two other wards were Colonel Waiter
son and Colonel Harvey. They had no
grievances , but expressed their con-
tentmcntf in Sons, the refrain OF
which was: 80
1--WE come back, come back;
I've come back. Dear Leader, to thee.
to thee:
I've come back. come back:
I've come back, Dear Leader. to
thee"
Among other wards. Alaska wanted
10 be shielded from exploitation Of
capitalists; Hawaii called attention to
Queen Liliuokalanis lack OF pension:
Porto Rice wanted more government
jobs and duty on sugar, and Filipino
wanted to know when he would grow
up and be independent. When the lat
ter was chided and told that he must
not get hasty, he replied:
TASTY! I'm getting musty."
The politician complained that taxes
had been laid OH business paper, chew
ing gum, billiard-rooms and circuses,
while whiskey had gone Scot free, be-
cause the bill had been passed In Oc-
tober and the election was in Novem-
her, and in a burst OF satire he sang:
IF you have to lay tax,
Don't put IL onto rye
Put 1t onto Injuries.
But keep 1t off of rye.
Stick 1t onto chewing gum,
Or billiard cues, says I;
But. for the love of Mike, beg you,
Keep 1t off rye"
REALISTIC PRIZE FIGHT
IS STAGED IN HALL
the centre OF the dining hall, and the
spectators were treated to lively mill
The stake was "a large house located
at 1900 Pennsylvania Avenue" and the
principals were kid Democracy" and
odd G. o. P.," the referee being Bull
Moose" who announced his ability to
lick both of the two old parties. His
decisions had never been questioned,
even when overruled by tho Supreme
Court"
moving picture show enlivened the
proceedings, representing "the great
est deliberatlve body on earth: the
United States Senate" in session, but
the general effect was greatly marred,
first. by a strenuous objection to such
an undigniied encroachment upon the
moved bv the insertion " It's n,.
name into the advertisements nv Nc
fact that Senator Ollie James persisted
out the remainder of the picture
n,.,,o,,,, a.. ,..,.,,-
cr,S'ro, mi,,, tn,.ia.n aIiaoie RUE. the
of re n,snv ana.ts ~ ."e p.eseIce
William e. Brigham Washington cor
respondent of the Boston Transcript,
who was described as "a journalist