davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30
LUKE M'LUkE SAYS
he Cincinnati ENQUIRER.

From the Cincinnati Enquirer
If girls were to choose their husbands
as carefully as they choose their hats the
woods would be silled with bachelors.
The reason a girl who is standing in
a street car believes that the man who is
occupying seat is a gentleman is be-
cause 1t takes five years of hard work to
teach a fish how to swim.
What has become of the old d-fashioned
man who used to wear his hat around the
house?
mans hips have to stay where ma
ture put them, but woman can shift
them around as much as she pleases.
Princess is girl who wouldn't make
good wife for a poor man, but who
would make a poor wife for a rich man.
Father always poo-poos when mother
tells how hard she has to work. But
father would rather take a licking than
try to dress one of the children
And the high cost of living wasn't so
high in the days when a girl would rather
use soap than cold cream.
Married life means three months of
kissing and 80 years of cussing.
single girl can please all men. A
married girl can please all men but one
A man wouldn't stop TO glance at a
windo/ display Of wax models in union
suits. But a flash at a stocking on live
model will blockade traffic.
1t may be perfectly lovely to the girls
when two men get up in a public place
and do the tango together. but mean
brute of man is willing to bet that the
dancers are named Pansy and Flossie.
What has become of the old-fashioned
girl who blushed when a man spoke to
her?
Lots of men who brag pompously about
their connection with the money market
can't even raise the market money,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30

Britain as her supremacy at sea is
menaced thereby. Germany and Italy
are to have 15-inch guns on warships
of 10000 tons; Russia, 14-inch guns
on ships of 81, 400 tons; Japan, 14-inch
guns on ships of 10000 tons, and the
United States, 14-inch guns on vessels
running as higlras $4,000 tons. While
France retains the guns of the 13.5-
inch size they will be mounted upon
ships of within a fraction of 10000
tons.
So bitter is the disappointment of
England at her failure along these
lines that it is whispered she is Sc
cretly endeavoring to obtain from
Colombia concessions for the building
of another isthmian canal to be used
as a weapon in forcing the United
States to grant passage free of tolls
to British ships through the Panama
canal.
Though rich in coal England is
without oil. Russia has her own fields,
Japan is supplied from Manchuria,
while Germany, France and Italy
have monopolized the output of Persia
so that Great Britain, with the South
American supply shut off from her, is
compelled to abandon the use of oil
altogether.
The oil deposits of the TTnited Stetes
are the richest in the world and de-
velopments in Texas, Louisiana. Okla
homa and California indicate that the
supply will last for many generations.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30
CONGRESSMAN Richardson's Work


William Richardson, Eighth Ala
bama district congressman, will retire
at the conclusion of his present term.
For many reasons, the necessity for
his retirement-for he has long been
under the serious handicap of lack
of health-is to be regretted. He has
long served his people, and served
them faithfully. He accomplished
great things for the Tennessee river,
and in other respects his service has
been measured by concrete results.
In view of the purposed retirement
of Mr.. Richardson, it is fortunate that
there are so many strong men in the
Eighth district from whom the people
will be able to elect their new con-
gresham. Each of the counties has
an able son, or several of them, to
present as worthy to be honored. Up
to the present time only one of these
sons has announced. Colbert has pre-
sent Judge E. B. Almon, speaker of
the Alabama house of representatives.
1t is considered probable that other
counties will name their standard
bearers, and that the struggle for the
berth will be interesting i'm
portant.
In the Tennessee river, the Eighth
district has an asset of value not to
be measured in dollars and cents. 1t
is fortunate that the candidate and
prospective candidates have at least
one plank in common. Each of them
will promise to nurture the great river
and zealously care for it's interests
in the halls of Congress. The man
who succeeds Mr.. Richardson should
not be satisfied until he has secured
an appropriation large enough to
make of the stream all that which
nature intended it to be. In Muscle
Shoals Alabama has the greatest
water power wholly in the United
States. That power should be devel-
oped and should flood this state and
neighboring states with electric cur
rent at rate so cheap that none
could afford to do without its service
Congressman Richardson has done
great things for his district. There
are other things yet to be done, and
the new congressman, if he has re-
gard for his duty, will find his berth
one requiring valiant effort and un-
tagging energy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30

Geological survey tc determine their fit-
ness for irrigation.
Z he average discharge of silt and mud
per year by tn. Colorado rive- amounts
to 27s. 900 tons. In addition to the sus-
pended solid matters carried by this river,
thtle are also epol nous quantities OF dis
solved salts are 4,550,0Oo tons of common
sat, 100000 tons Of Glauber's snts,. A.
0oe.0o0 tons of lime. 100000 tons of eyp-
sun, and 4,s9p,0GG tons of magnesium sIi-
phate or Epson salts, making a total of
g, 400 900 tons of dissolved matter annually
carried into the Gulf of California by this
river. In sp;se OF this enormous amount
of dissolved matter. the Colorado liver
is not considered to be a steam of high
naturalization for the western section of
this country. This is due to the fact that
the amount of Tater is so siiot cious. in
proportion t. the dissolved salts. that
they are only a very small proportion OF
the total discharge.
Ihe concentration of the salts in the
Elm fork of the Red river, in Oklahoma,
Is by far more than that in the Colorado.
This larticulor river annually discha,gcs
l300,U00 tons Of CON mon salt, which is
equal to 1851 tons per square mile OF
ca drained, white the discharge OF salt
frori the Colorado is 20 tons pcr squire
nile. The total amount of salt annually
carried away by the Eim FORK is 2,3s9. O00
tons.
1t must be borne in mind, however, the.
tLosc quantities., vast as they are, rep
resfut only a fraf3ion of the fotal noortsr
transported. The rnud, sand, silt ard
y, oducts of ;'ock decomposition are de-
rcsited along The entire course OF the
r..er, and what proportion OF the whole
a last finds its way into the ocean no
one can say, uGt the fraction cannot be
large
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30
HOW SPIDER MAKES LOVE

From the Country Side, London.
The love making of the garden spider
is very interesting to see
The male spider, which can be distin-
guished from the female by his small
size and knobbed palpi begins by throw
ing out silk, till he manages to make q
road between himself and the middle of
the females web. He then runs along
this road, raising his front legs at inter-
walls. The female remains motionless in
the center of the web
The male then runs TO ner ana rapidly
pats her on the back, sometimes with
his two front legs, sometimes with four
He then returns to his starting point
Next time perhaps the female comes
to meet him with "open arms front
legs). He rushes to her. but no sooner
has he reached her than she folds UP
her legs and pretends to be Unconscious
of his presence. AT this he again rap
idly pats her on the back. Often when
the female is in the middle of her web
he tries to attract her by shaking his
siken road as hard as he can.
This courtship takes very long time.
occupied in fact TWO days, unless 1t was
that more than one male took part in
the performance.
The length and monotony of these
courtships is, however. sometimes varied
by a rival lover, who in the middle of
the courtship suddenly descends on the
web by the road Of his own; and, should
he not find the female at home runs
along the road OF his rival, and often
drives him off. In this case the new
lover became tired of his courtships very
quickly, and in about five minutes went
off, allowing the first lover to return.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30
IN THE PUBLIC EYE
From Tit-Bits.

L
After ALL the train was only 40 minutes
behind time, SO the stationmaste was
perfectly justified in feeling pleased with
himself, the railway, and the world in
general.
solitary waiting passenger was NOR
bidly weighing himself at an automatic
machine and when he etepped off it the
jcyiai official proceeded to talk to him.
Wonderful thing the railway system,
SIP he chirped. II do really believe
that even the general public is at last
beginning to realize the marvellous i'm
provements that have taken place on this
line in recent years!''
That's true" answered the morbid one.
81 know of no line that has SO many
things constantly in the public eye as
this one."
The stationmaster was delighted Il
am more than glad to hear you say SO.
sir" he chuckled, rubbing his hands to-
gether. And would you mind naming
tEem?"
The waiting passenger looked pensively
down the platform.
"Cindersr' said he.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30
"I nempIoymeBt"

May l be permitted to sound a note
of earnest warning in the matter of
attracting the unemployed to this dis
trict?' said DR.. George Eaves last
night "Roseate statements about the
Industrial prosperity We are expert
encing are really not justified, and they
work dreadful hardship on working
men who believe the best and come
long distances to find conditions quite
otherwise.
Certainly we have every expectation
of good trade; but when we say that
such and such mills or plants are in
full operation, when they are not yet
going or when they are working with
a reduced force, the suffering involved
on those who come, seeking work, is
just as great as if we had intention
ally caused it; and the relief organiza-
tions find the pressure just as great
The time has come when the vast in
dustrial population of this huge land
must be secured against the conditions
that annually force or lure many Of
them into the life of tramps. In Eu-
rope already several governments are
conducting labor exchanges, and also
insuring the general employe against
unemployment. America must find a
way to do the same thing. A national
conference on Unemployment will be
held in New York at the end of Feb
ruary, when the facts of emergency re-
lief work. carried on this winter in
our industrial cities, will no doubt be
made available, and the national con-
science aroused to devise means for
protecting those who. in the last re-
sort, are the true pillars of society, the
toiling masses. To protect and COM
fort them and their families is a work
of the highest patriotism, and the con-
ference referred to should be attrac-
tive to many in Alabama's industrial
life"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30


nent as one of the better class
- of the French revolutionists, if
any may be so called At any rate to
his name cannot be linked those which
send a feeling of terror through the
history of that period for their blood
thirstiness. 1t was because he lacked
this quality that his place was taken
by such men as Mirabeau, Robespierre
and Marat who more nearly met the
views of the terrorists, who grew to
be the dominating element
Danton had the same desire at heart
that had these leaders, but he be-
lieved that a revolution could be ac-
complished through much milder
methods than did the others. For a
long time his magnetism and his ora
tory held the people within his grasp,
but finally the revolution grew to be
greater than Danton. Conditions were
who would survive was compelled to
keep up with the procession or be
trampled in its path.
Upon many occasions Danton had
given wise council to his countrymen.
Then, in the course of events, Robes
pierre and Danton came face TO face
as rivals for the leadership of Paris
and France. Danton was reckless, gem
erous and frank on the other hand.
Robespierre was cold severe, cautious
and uncompromising. Feeling that the
contest was unequal, Danton withdrew
to his native town of Arcis, but not for
long, for his associates keenly felt his
absence from the field of action
Shortly after returning to Paris Dan
ton met Robespierre and was accused
by him of having embezzled the public
money. He retorted by calling Robes
pierre a sanguinary tyrant This dis
pute fixed his DOOM His wife and
friends urged him to fly. "Wither hy?,
answered Danton. IF freed France
casts me out, there are only dungeons
for me elsewhere. One carriesr not his
country with him at the sole of his
shoes"
Danton heard there was warrant
for his arrest. but he said: They dare
not, they dare not.' But he forgot that
he had Robespierre, the infexible, TO
deal with. On the night of March 81,
1874, he was arrested, and was brought
up for trial on April g..
Upon entering the Luxembourg prison
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30
CRoSsBoNEs.
GREAT TRIALS OF HISTORY
THE TRIAL OF DANTON

, the first man to grasp Danton's hand
was Thomas Paine, author of the
Rights of Man" Paine was now
naturalized Frenchman, and member
of the French national convention, and
because he had voted against the death
of Louis XIV the Jacobins had cast him
into prison, where he remained until
the death of Robespierre brought about
his release. =
What you have done for the liberty
and happiness of America ! have in
vain attempted to do for France"
The trial of Danton was a mockery
of the forms of justice. St Just, the
Jacobin, had read the accusation
against him to the convention and
that body weakly voted his arrest On
April ?. and 4, he was tried, with
other prisoners, by packed bench2and
packed jury. But so uncertain was the
temper of the vast throng that filed
the streets outside, so violently did
Danton struggle to burst his bonds that
for moment it seemed as though the
immense reverberation of his voice,
heard, it is said, even across the Seine
might have awakened the force of the
people, as so often before and over
| throw the Jacobin rule
A'hasty message to the committee of
public safety-a hasty decree rushed
through the convention-and Danton's
voice was quelled, and judgment de-
livered before the accused had finished
his defense
At the trial, when Fouquier Tinville
asked Danton his name and place of
abode the prisoner said: My name is
Danton, name tolerably well known
in the revolution. l am S5 years old. NV
abode will soon be in nothingness, but
my name shall live in the pantheon of
history"
In prison Danton affected indiffer-
ance. Il have enjoyed my moments of
existence we'll l have made plenty of
noise upon earth. l have tasted we'll of
life-let us go to sleep" AS he mounted
the scaffold from the cart in which he
was conveyed to execution he was
heard to say: 20 my wife, my well-be-
loved; l shall never see thee morew
Dantons last words were to the
headsman: You will show my head 10
the people--it is well worth showing"
Danton was executed on April 5. 17si
Robespierres triumph was brief for his
own head fell on July 2s.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30
SAVING SPACE

From the New York American.
a Boston naturalist and wi'tel who is
an authority on SHAKES. recently sent q
ecod, story in this relation to a western
ne aspaper. Upon the publiea tion CT the
story the writer found that there were
some slight inaccuracies in the tale as
printed. Accordingly, he wrote TO the edi-
to- about them. I'm the first place. said
he, Il stated that Tie snake was 20 feet
Ions, and you Lao It only 10 feet long,.
In reply tho naturalist Received this
arology from he editor:
Very sorry, indeed, for the error.
Which. however, was unavoidable We
Sere very mGch crowded for space at the
time we used The story, and we had to
cut down evenyi hing"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30
WHAT THE RIVERS CARRY
rom the Independent

From every square mile drained by the
Mississippi Sc tons of salts are deposited
annually in the Gulf of Mexico. The av-
erGge outflow of the river is placed at
6Gi 000 cubic feet per second, and from
the analysis nf this water the amount OF
material in solution transported by the
Mississippi ha .ueen calculated. 1t reaches
the enormous qrantity of 1JS. AZ 900 tons
per year.
The amount oe sediment carried by the
Ms sissippi in addition to these salts rs
enormous. Ths quantity delivered annual
ly to the Gu.s of Mexico, according to
H. L. Abbott. is Sl2, 500, ,OOO0cD pounds, or
about 4os000,O10 tons
These figures are the result Of an in
vcstigation of the quality of western
s,ream waters ihade by the United States
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30
THE WORLDS ADVANCE
Sir Johnston Forbes Robertson in

Slr johnston fofbes Robertson in the
Century.
In my opinion We ale all growing to
think more about the ethical values of
daily life and take more stock of our
inner selves. There Is much hypocrisy
about so-called educational drama, for
ii would be difficult for a play of any
pretensions no. to be educational or in
structive in one way or another, even
IL 1t is often not worth while. 1t is not
by education that We get advanced ideas,
generally speaking. Tie ideas are there
is the first place, though education may
enable us to develt.p them. 1t is pity
that the advanced theatre is often con-
fused with the Abnormal, the morbid and
the sensational.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30
How Monroe Doctrine Hurts England

How Monroe Doctrine Hurts England
The application of the Monroe doc
trine is making itself felt in other
channels than that of inhibiting the
acquisition of American territory by
European nations. Lord Murray,
through his stool pigeon, Lord Cow
dray, has failed in his scheme to OBJ
tain from Colombia important oil con-
cessions and as a consequence Great
Britain has been compelled to alter
her policy as to her men-of-w war and
return to the smaller type of vessels.
Last year the British admiralty
asked for appropriations for the
building of five battleships of the
Queen Elizabeth class, that is of 30,-
600 tons in size, 25 knots speed, 15-
inch guns and using oil exclusively. In
urging the appropriation Winston
Churchill announced that in the future
all ships of the British navy would
use oil fuel. However, last week quite
a change of programme was inaugur-
ated and it has been announced that
the new battleships would be of 25,-
900 tons only, 81 knots, with 13.5-
inch guns and coal the principal fuel,
oil being only an auxiliary.
This almost spells disaster to Great
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30
EXAMPLE THE BEST TEACHER


From Our Children" by Wells Hastings
in the January Century.
There. is only one comprehensive rule
for rearing children, and that is that We
must honestly rack our reluctant minds
Until they give us back something OF our
own forgotten emotions; that We must
give in measure as we expect to receive;
that we mus. acknowledge the child 8
mind and emotions to resemble our own in
scarcely limited counterpart.
Subjective teaching is the only teaching
worth while, and sympathy the only kind
of love which will buy us the best Chill
dren learn most by example, and they
throw open the doors of their hearts to
those who have shown them that hearts
have doors. The old quarrel is the most
wasteful and unnenecssafy one 1t is
human to desire some Friendship, and
those of us who have children, and in
whom the desire is strong, may really
know at least one or two men and wom-
en- a decade or so from now.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30
WORTH KNOWING
From an Exchange.

FTUfH an EXCHdHPF.
The highest street in the worll is Main
street in Denver: the richest is Fifth ave-
rue, In New York city; the widest is Mar
ket street, in Philadelphia, ana the short
est is the Rue BE, in Paris.
The dirtiest street is that of rchankstI,
in Nankin; the cleanest is the Via Cas-
tile, in Seville, Spain; the most aristo-
cratic one is Crosvenor Place. in Lon
don; the most heartiful is this Avenue des
Champs Elysaes, Paris.
The narrowest street is the Via Sol,
Havana, Cuoa, which has a width Of only
AZ inches.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30
ABOVE THE PRIDE OF PRINCES

ABOVE THE PRIDE OF PRINCES
From 1.-THE Best Stories in the World =,
by T. l.. Mason.
During the civil war the late Colonel
Gabe Bouch organized regiment which
he controlled as dictator
1 am an humble servant of the Lord. :,
said an itinerant evangelist who had
wandered to camp one day, "endeavorins
TO save the souls of the unfortunate.
have just left the camp of the-th Mas
sachusetts, where l was instrumental in
leading eight men into the paths Of
Righteousness"
AdJutant. thundered Colonel Bouch
after a moments pause. Detail 10 men
Tor baptism, No damned Massachusetts
regiment shall beat mine for piety.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30
"REbENTLEss ENTHUSIASM.

From the Atchison Champion
This squabble over the location of the
newly authorized regional banks ia get
uhg TO De something fierce Already it
has exceeded in ferocity an old-fashioned
fraternity rush. which is some pump
klns for furious ferociousness. Inciden-
tally the relentless enthusiasm with
which Kansas City is conducting its
campaign for one of the banks gives a
clear indication of her dominant spirit
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30

Though up to the present hour leprosy
has been deemed one of the few diseases
which are pronounced incurable it is
claimed that two leprous women have
just been cured Of that malady at the
government sanatorium of Memel in Ger
many This institution, of some years
standing, was founded primarily to deal
ment of its success has created quite a
furor in the German empire as the dis
ease is the plague of Germany's African
colonies. The curative process has not
been given to the public
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30
THE MrLLER,s DAUGHTER

BY Lord Tennyson.
1t is the miller's daughter, +
And she is grown so dear, SO dear, s,
That J. would be the jewel
That trembles in her ear;
For hid in ringlets day and night,
I'd touch her neck so warm and white
And I would be the girdle
About her dainty, dainty waist,
And her heart would beat against me-.
In sorrow and in rest;
And / should know Il it beat right,
I'd clasp it round so close and tight.
And l would be the necklace,
And all day long to fall and rise
Upon her balmy bosom
With her laughter or her sighs;
And l would lie SO light, so light,
1 scare should be unclasp'd 1T night.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30
ABUSE Is NOT ARGUMENT

From the Livingston Southern Home.
The people who are denouncing Under
wood and Hcbson and Ccmer and other
candidates might ss well remember that
if they are democrats they will have to
vote for the nominee Whoever he may be,
and not carry their abuse too far. Abuse
is not argument, 1t is merely an effort
to entrench prejudice. and is not effec-
tive even la that.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30

A bill has been introduced into the New
York legislature requiring a label en-
bazoned with skull and cross bones to
be placed upon all receptacles containing
beverages of more than per cent alco-
hol. AS these emblems of death are more
horrifying than snakes" it may be safe
to presage that If the bill becomes a
law many people will be found taking
theirs in the dark.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-30
TROUBADOUR AND JESTER
OUR SCOOP.

love to read the dailies
And view the passing show;
Or Thaw in old New Hampshire
And the fight in Mexico.
love to read the dailies
OF Arizona's joke
With that bandit Lopez vanished
Like Elijah into smoke.
| love to read the dailies
OF Conner, Kolb and Seed;
OF Underwood and Hobson
And reserve banks we need.
love to read the dailies
OF birdmen in the sky,
OF automobile races
And foodstuffs soaring high
| love to read the dailies
OF China's President,
Of the Hatien revolution
And the south pole event.
L love to read the dailies
The news all in group,
But best of all I'm tickled
To read of little Scoop"