The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1914-07-24
81
GEORGE.
A[)Es
caezs5oH7 % oeopce Ape
FABLES
IN
SLANG

Do not mistrust the Tale, for every
Buccaneer from Broad Street, N. Y,
to the st. Francis Bar at the Golden
Clothes on his Back and Grand Lar
ceny in his Heart.
When Angie went to visit Lib, after
the Lapse of Many Years. you can
Gamble that they had Some Talk to
unload
Angie carried a Wicker Suitcase
costing $1.9S and her General Get-Up
was that of the Honest Creature who
may be found in any Hotel Corridor at
2 A. M. massaging the Mosaic Floor
with Hot Cloth.
Get mel" said Wilbur's wife, drop
ping YEARLY to Divan in the Style of
Louie Quatorze. Pipe the Lid It Is
a 1906 Model and the Aigrette is made
of Broom Straw. Take Peek at the
shine Tailor-Made and the Paper
Shoes. Ever since they wished that
False Alarm on to me have been Civ.
| ing a correct Imitation of Lizzie the
Honest Working Girl. Each Evening
he comes home to give me a Sweet
/ Kiss and promises me Trip to Eu-
rope and a Set of Gray Squirrels, and
next Morning, when l get up to re-
move the Oatmeal from the Ffreless
| Cooker, | find on the Back Porch a
large Roughneck in a Sweater who
has come to shut of the Gas or take
away the Parlor Furniture. Then /
think Of you, with your Closets hang
ing full of fluffy Frocks and your Fin.
gers crowded with Jewels and your
Man rushing In every few Minutes to
slap you in the Face with Hundred
Dollar Bill You can take it from me
Dearie, would jump the whole Game
were it not for the Children. / have
put In my whole Life trying to realize
something on Promissory Note thai
was Bloomer to begin with. He has
kidded me along ever since the
J Worlds Fair at Chicago, feeding ms
on Canned Stuff and showing me pic
lures of Electric Runabouts and Coun
! try Places on Long Island In tn,
Meantime l am playing in Great Lucl
, If l can get a Trolley Car to stoI
J for me-"
J At this point the Wife Of Otis aros,
and, pulling the rose-colored Sill
, Wrapper more closely about her made
) to-order Form, interrupted with a
Imperious Gesture.
? Back up, Angie!" she exclaimed
t You should be a Happy Woman. Yo
have your Husbands Love and 20
have your Children, both OF which ar
denied Woman of my Assured Pos
ton in the Two Minute Glass of tn
Terrible Spenders. Talk about Hare
ships! Do you know what it is to lea
the Grand March, surrounded by 80
Assegai-T hrowers, Harpooners an
Cannibal Queens. who are pointiD
you out as the Wife of the Malefacto
who is about to be Tried in the Fee
eral Courts? Did you ever Stage
around all Evening with 100000 wort
of Tiffany Merchandise fastened o
| to you-expectfng every Minute to b
hit in the Couture by some Rallies
| Did you ever, during Formal Dime
hear the Door Bell tinkle and find /
j the Hallway Reporter from a Nor
1 ing Paper who wishes to ask yor
Il Husband If he denies his Guilt or ca
| give any Reason why Sentence
] Death should not be passed upon him
4 Are you Wise to the Fact that tt
Wife of Successful Business Ma
4 now occupies a Niche in the Hall
4 Fame right next to the Sister of Jess
James? You are in Great Luck. \
j one takes a Shot at Failure"
Having arrived at this cordial u
= derstanding. each leaned against Il
other and had Good Cry, after whiC
) they chirked up and paid lot of O
4 tention to well-preserved Bachelt
who dropped in to get warm and tai
. a slight Fall out of the Side Board.
10 MORAL: When Wealth walks In
- the Door, the Press Agent comes
= through the Window.