South Bend news-times., 1914-02-05
TATESMEN
REAL AND NEAR
BY FRED c. KELLY.

II BY FRED c. KELLY.
WASHINGTON, Feb. g. Rep.
Claude kitchin OF North Carolina
friend without first asking for a cigar.
Kitchin is the member of the ways
and means committee who viii prob
ably succeed Oscar Underwood as
house leader If oscar should get him.
self elected TO the United States SEN
ate
But this is simply about Kitchin
and cigars. A man walks up 10 him
TO ask him a question. and before
answering him Kitchin inquiries:
Have you got a cigar p
Or perhaps he feels in the friends
vest pockets 20 find If there isn't a
smokeable cigar nesting there
Kitchin Is willing to buy cigars on
his own account, of course. but he
smokes good many and his supply
keeps running out; besides, he thinks
it's a great joke TO get them from his
friends.
The other day Rep. Tim Ansberry
of Ohio walked up 10 Kitchin To in
quire about some intricate phase of
pending statecraft, and Kitchin re-
piled:
Lets go out here and smoke.
Haven't you got a cigar"
Il haven't any cigar, but I'll gladly
take you downstairs and buy you
one" volunteered the magnanimous
Tim.
They started downstairs. In the
elevator Kitchin emphatically said:
Remember. Col. Ansberry, that
- =
cent cigar. You needn't think you're
going TO take me down here and in
suit me with a cigar costing or 10
cents"
At that point their conversation
was interrupted by another occupant
OF the elevator a man with a south
ern accent, evidently a visitor in
Washington.
Aren't you Mr. Kltchin?" ne ask
ed, tapping Claude on the shoulder.
Yes"
I'm from your district" said the
visitor; I've shaken hands With you
once or twice at meetings, and / used
TO know your father"
Glad TO see you" said Kitchin,
and won't you come with us 10 the
cigar counter. We were about to buy
a few stogies. / was just Joking my
friend Ansberry here about getting
me a 25-ceut cigar. I've heard II
said that there are people who spend
that much for a smoke, although IL
seems scarcely believable.'
They walked up to the cigar coun-
ter and Kitchin enunciated distinctly
to the clerk:
Let me have nickel's worth of
those stogies-the kind, you know,
that / always smoke
Elmer Murphy, well known
Washington correspondent, was the
victim one day Of an excess charge
OF ID cents by a conductor on an in
terurban railroad running out of
Los Angeles. 1t was only 10 cents,
but it made Murphy exceedingly in
dignant and he Tacked his brain for
a way 20 get even.
When he got back to Los Angeles
he made up an itemized bill against
the railroad, working in such legal
phrases as he knew. and sent it 20
the claim department. The bill in
cluded such items as mortifcaeiOn,
loss Of peace of mind loss of time,
and so on. Although his claim
amounted to $14.OS.
In his letter to the railroad COM
pany Murphy gave his address at the
Office Of a friend. Then he went TO
the friend and told him what to do.
They will send claim agent
around" forecasted Murphy AL
ways tell him you don't know where
l am After he has been here four
or five times ask him what he wants
and when he tells you give an
amused laugh. He'll ask you what
you're laughing about and then you
say to him:
Why you're evidently up against
it. That man Murphy just loves TO
get into a lawsuit Hes has lots of
money and Will probably spend ten
times the amount OF his claim sim
ply for the fun of making the rail
road company pay it. If l were you
| would settle with him for almost
any sum and get rid of him
And the strange thing was that ii
all came about just as Murphy had
mapped out
lie purposely kept out of the way
of the claim agent and this threw a
certain cloak of mystery about him
that gave more dignity TO his claim.
Then he left Los Angeles and came
on TO Washington. a few days after
arriving here. Murphy got a letter
from the railroad company. 1t said
We are wondering if you would be
willing TO compromise your claim and
take 81 in full settlement"
Rep. Billy Kent, Well-tO-dO call
fornia statesman, went into an es-
tablishmeut here the other day 10 get
himself an overcOat. He picked out
one that was expensive, but which the
man said would wear
That coat ought TO last you two or
three years" the salesman remarked
If it does as we'll as other coats
I've had IT will last about 20 years, -
declared Kent This viii be only
the third oVercoat L ever had in my
life"
He was telling the truth. and the
explanation lies only partly in the
fact that he has lived much Of the
time in California, where an overcoat
isn't needed much. The main part OF
the explanation is that when he was
q Chicago alderman he owned an old
yallery coat that refused to wear o6t
When the papers made fun OF II, ne
refused 10 put IL aside Kent adhered
20 that old gallery coat for years and
years and years. until ii became al
most a municipal scandal
Copyright. 1914. by Fred c. Kelly
All rights reserved.)
DUB. ALL RIGHT.
THAT fellow certainly i a 111b