Evening star., 1914-03-01

Wind might nave caused tHe pecuiid
droop-eyed appearance.
Not much" continued the hard-looknE
young man. Then he threw off al! pre-
tense.
Say" he remarked, confidentiaily: "yot
don't think l kin tell you all we know, dc
you?"
You don't mean to say you practice
such duplicity as that said The %
server. astonished.
II don't get YOU on that duplicity stuff,
said the chauffeur. but ] can tell you
this-that l knowed all about the Won
Blookns divorce three months before
your papers printed the story.
Here was the time for the Observer to
point out what he was after.
''What 1 want to know he said, frank
ly, lis how you chauffeurs put it over on
the people who own automobiles
'Thinkin' of becomin one yourself:
asked the chauffeur with quick suspicion
No" replied the Observer. but d
friend of mine is contemplating a pur-
chase
There's lots to be said.' answered the
chauffeur, meditatively. 'and | find that
beer helps my memory.
The Observer took the chauffeur by the
arm and led him to a place where they
sell beer, and there the chauffeur re-
counted a few of the things that he knew
and that his emp overs didn't
There are two kinds of chauffers: pri-
vate chauffers. that is. who find their
way into the homes of the wealthy.
One is the unutterably polite young
man with the pasty face or the dark olive
skin. who has soft. silky voice and long.
furry ears. and mItters "Sacre nom!' or
"Himmel,' whenever the machine breaks
down. He is frequently American. but
he never lets it be known. He always
refers to the feminine portion of the
house as madame with the accent
where it gets the most gamy effect.
They call him Oscar If he is Teutonic
and Jean if he is French. and he leads a
quiet, comfortable life until he marries
into society and discovers that he is an
earl or duke in some queer collateral
sort of way. This type of chauffeur is
the pride of the wealthy, like Punk-Punk,
the blooded Pomeranian and the English
butler. He only does the chaufing. A
gang of menials helps out with the clean
ing and the grosser work.
Oscar and Jean are the minority type
Since the great American public has been
breaking itself to get into automobiles
another distinct type of chauffeur has
dered. square-jawed. square-headed young
man. who. during his lighter moments
used to play pool and whose father con-
idently predicted that he would most
certainly be hanged unless a committee
Of outraged citizens lynched him before
destiny had had chance to perform her
duty. He worked for while in plumb
ing shop and afterward in machine
factory. He went thence to be cleaner
in automobile factory and ultimately
having a natural talent for mechanical
CONFERENCE.-The came to understand in
good workmanlike way the insides of
automobiles.
This second type of young man is pos
sessed Of what is known to English pur-
lists as the come back" He can kid
the life out of a truck driver and-well,
praise can go no higher than that.
The first type of chauffeur in honestly
trying to gauge his employer is as deli
cate and diplomatic as possible. The sec
ond is a frank cynic who believes in the
burning ambition to bring on the millen-
MUM by leveling down all automobile
owners.
Both of the chauffeurs insist upon GER
tain things-and get them. For instance
they must have fur coats. Personally the
run down a man as eXpeditiously wearing
overalls as when clad in a fur coat. A
good aim would seem to be the mair
requisite.
Rut the tradition, of the chauffeur cav.
no Without his fur coat he is one nj
+ba r,ortaIs ard ;ncI;nad 70 ha t;m;d
Given his fur coat he will u,.kt
faY amb.ss,dor Iaan u-i,d,y into fbt
a;r and ynjss the ontraged nosa Of q
minister hy inches-aII with enuanirnit,
.rd GOOD 6u,nor
An II you OUT knew "hat your cnau1
feur knowst If you could but peer be
hind that masked respectfuI face or &c,
+be i+cb;ny n,,r, +b.+ ,,odas+l,, o,,,,,.t,a.
-
'he eio'h cap as the applicant stanos
before you, II you couId-but let u.
pause, back I'D Pegasus and take an
.,ha~ or.ct, at ~. s,hiao. -. -.
~ =. ~ 'o"i pei soiia
ti'e o'ii 'ioush' game over you l'at Pa
maps you are not the sclehtist you thoush
you We're experience at tehulns You
furnace. II seems. did not altogether ii
you for operating one OF the sixteen
cylinder motor ears 1nat go SKY yhooun'
w, M, ,r ~, .d,,i, this. certa;nIv mot
T, is renresented simply bv sort of sici
sensation you recall the efforts yo'
have made, the honest endeavor that ha
been misspent, in learning to run moto