davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1914-10-16

There is satisfaction In good SNUFF
20 all who use IL. The higher the
quality the greater the satisfaction.
In Red Band Snuff you have the
veryhighest quality Of snuff that
can be made, and It cost more to
manufacture Red Band than other
snuffs, aad the price is higher to
the merchant Reason this ont and
use Red Band Snuff.
Chas. Trahern is on the sick list
this week.
Ed Trahern is IN Hopkinsville
this week.
Mrs. E. l.. Wise who has been VS.
iting relatives in Madisonville for a
few DAYS has returned home.
The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1914-10-16
piles Cured n 8 to a Days

Your druggist will refund money II PAZo
OINTMENT fails 10 cure any case Of Itching.
Blind bleeding OF Protrudiug Piles Ia 6to II days.
The frst application gives Ease and Rest. SOC.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
THE SECRET OF SUCCESS
Genuine Merit Required to Win the
Peoples Confidence.

Have you ever stopped to reason
why it is that so many products that
are extensively advertised, all at once
drop out of sight and are soon forgot
ten? The reason is plain-the article
did not fulfil the promises Of the man.
ufacturer. This applies more particu.
larly to a medicine. A medicinal pre-
paration that has real curative value
almost sells itself, as like an endless
chain system the remedy is recon-
mended by those who have been bene-
fitted, to those who are in need of 1t.
A prominent druggist says 'Take
for example DIR. Kilmer's Swamp-Root,
a preparation | have sold for many
years and never hesitate to recon-
mend, for in almost every case it
shows excellent results, as many Of
my customers testify. No other kid
ney remedy that | know has SO large
a SALE"
According to sworn statements and
verified testimony of thousands who
have used the preparation, the success
of DR.. Kilmer's Swamp-Root is due to
the fact that it fulfils almost every.
wish in overcoming kidney, liver and
bladder diseases, corrects urinary
troubles and neutralizes the uric acid
which causes rheumatism.
You may receive sample bottle Of
Swamp-Root by Parcels Post. Address
DR.. Kilmer G Co., Binghamton, N. Y,
and enclose ten cents; also mention
this paper.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
Craze for LuxurIea.

The craze for luxuries Is one of the
prevailing Ills of the times. 1t is per-
fectly natural for men and women to
want the good things Of life, but 1t is
mighty bad policy for them to attempt
to get these things when they have
not got the means. This fact is en-
phasized by report from Boston
which says that many Of the residents
Of that once conservative town have
sacrificed their homes In order to in
dulge In the luxury Of motoring. The
story of a man selling his home for
the purpose Of purchasing an automo-
bile was formerly regarded as good
joke for the vaudeville artists, but
now 1t has become tragic fact The
report from the Hub may be exag-
gerated, but there is no reason to
doubt that thousands of persons go to
the wall every year In vain and
foolish attempt to live beyond their
means. The desire to initiate those
who are richer than themselves is the
rock on which many an otherwise
happy home is wrecked. Luxury
once tasted seems to get In the blood
and the only remedy is determined
effort to get back to the simple life.
Inquirer.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
SAM JOHNSON WAS REBUKED
cIeveIander Who Had TermerIty to
Whistle at Tramp 10 Promptly
and Justly Reproved.

Sam Johnson swears that this hap
pened to him Wednesday morning.
There was a ring at the back door bell,
and he answered, being the only MEM
Der of the household astir. He opened
the door, and there stood hobo, who
said in part:
"Couldier spare a poor feller bite
ter eat?"
'"I'll see," said the hospitable Sam.
"Just wait outside while look"
He looked into the larder, and there
found a few things left over which he
thought might appeal to a hungry man.
Then he went to the door to apprise
the tramp of his success. The tramp
wasn't there. He was on the back step
of the next house. telling the same sad
tale.
Sam called Hey, there!" but the
tramp didn't pay any attention. "Hey,
you'll" shouted Sam, with similar re.
suits. Then Mr.. Johnson put his fin.
gers to his mouth and gave shrill
whistle. The tramp turned and re.
garded him angrily.
Say" said the tramp, who do you
think you're calm to--a og?-Cleve.
land Plaia Dealer.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
Not a Real "Bad Man."


A cowboy calling himself the Ta-
coma Kid has been arrested for shoot
ing up London. We fail to recall the
young mans title In the list of moving
picture performers, but he must be the
real thing because he wore the full
alfalfa regalia and fired a gun out of
q car window-to the amazement and
alarm of several women and children.
OF course there was no chance for
him to fling himself across a rough
neck cayuse and clatter down Pail
Mall to Windsor Forest. No, the bob.
bies got him and hailed him before a
magistrate, where he was convicted
and fined something like SGT in the
coin of Uncle Sans realm.
The episode recalls the remark Of
the Goldheld bartender who was asked
what he would do IL a so-called bad
man tried to hold up the establish.
ment.
why" he replied with an elaborate
sneer, If such worm crawled in here
we'd break him In two an scatter him
along tn roadway"
From which 1t will be inferred that
the simon-pure bad man Is thing OF
the romantic past,
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20

and now feel fine. ] am regular, my
stomach is better and my pains have all
left me. You can use my name if you
like. am proud of what your rene
dies have done for me. - Mrs. MARY
GAUTHIER, q Ridge St. Montpelier, Vt
An Honest Dependable Medicine
It must be admitted by every fair
minded, intelligent person, that medi
cine could not live and grow in popularity
for nearly forty years, and to-day hold
record for thousands upon thousands
of actual cures, as has Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound. without
possessing great virtue and actual
worth. Such medicines must be looked
upon and termed both standard and
dependable by every thinking person.
If you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia Z. pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE Compound viii help yOuswrite
toLydia f. E.Pinkham MedicincC Co.
CONFIDENTIAL Lynn, Mass.,for ad.
vice. Your letter win be opened.
read and answered by . woman,
and held in strict confidence.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20

eariely submit. Why stand for itf The
only reason why any store win try 10 sub
stitute something else for 3. y. q. 10 the
BUST fer afeakef psaRk q 4 n a. the
greatest blood pun 1.-TWO ~ 4
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
Mot Worth Payinn For.

Ed and Joe were walking along a
country road one hot day in July and
became very thirsty, but could not
find any water. Coming at last to a
farmers house, and noticing woman
standing in the door, they went up to
her and requested a drink Of water.
She said: 1--WE haven't had any
rain for three weeks and the well is
dry"
"Then please give US drink. of
milk"
The woman replied that the milk
was all taken to market, but added
that she had some buttermilk stored
away and would give the thirsty trav-
elers drink of 1t.
After quenching their thirst with
'buttermilk they offered to pay the
kind woman for 1t, but she refused
the money, saying; II was going to
give it to the pigs, anyway."-Pitts-
burg Chronicle-Telegraph.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
If YOUR CHILD IS CROSS,
FEvERisH, coNsTIPATED
Look MotherI II tongue Is coated,
cleanse little bowels with "caIi.
fornla Syrup Of Figs"

Mothers can rest easy after giving
california Syrup of Figs" because In
q few hours all the clogged-up waste.
sour bile and fermentlng food gently
moves out OF the bowels, and YOU have
o we'll, playful child again.
Sick children needn't be coaxed to
take this harmless fruit laxative" +"
Millions Of mothers keep 1t handy be-
cause they know Its action on the
stomach, liver and bowels is prompt
and sure. e
Ask your druggist for a 50-cent bot
tie Of California Syrup OF Figs"
which contains directions for babies,
children OF all ages and for grown-ups.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
TAKES OFF DANDRUFF,
HAIR STOPS FALLING
Save your Hair! GET 25-cent bottle
of Danderine right noW-Also
stops itching scalp.

Thin, brittle, colorless and scraggy
hair is mute evidence of neglected
scalp; of dandruff-that awful scurf.
There is nothing SO destructive to
the hair as dandruff. It robs the hair
of its lustre, its strength and its very
life; eventually producing a feverish-
ness and itching of the scalp. which
If not remedied causes the hair roots
to shrink, loosen and die--then the
hair falls out fast. A little Danderine
tonight now-any time-will surely
save your hair.
Get 25-cent bottle Of Knowlton's
Danderine from any drug store. You
surely can have beautiful hair and
lots of it If you will just try a little
Danderine. Save your hair! Try it!
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
10 CENT "cAScARETS"
FOR LIVER AND BOWELS
Cure Sick Headache, Constipation,
Biliousness, Sour Stomach, Bad q
Breath-Candy Cathartic.

No odds. how bad your liver, stom-
ach or bowels; how much your head
aches, how miserable you are from
constipation, indigestion, biliousness
and sluggish bowels--you always get
relief with Cascarets. They imme-
diately cleanse and regulate the stom-
ach. remove the sour, fermenting food
and foul gases; take the excess bile
from the liver and carry off the con-
stipated waste matter and poison
from the intestines and bowels. A
10-cent box from your druggist will
keep your liver and bowels clean;
stomach sweet and head clear for
months. They work while you sleep.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20

1t has been figured out that the
screw of an Atlantic liner reyolves
something like 100000 times In the
voyage between New York and Liver
pool.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
DROPPED ELEPHANT IN TIME
Hunters Marrow Escape From Huge
Brute Which He Had Wounded
and Maddened With Pain.

Capt C. Fl. Stigand tells in his new
book, Hunting the Elephant in Afri.
Ca" OF a narrow escape he had from
young bull elephant. The animal
had charged the hunting party, with
the usual result that the natives fled
at their best speed, He lodged sharp
ly from the path of the enemy and
tripped over a fallen tree. dropping
his rife and just managing to seize
It by the muzzle as the elephant was
about to tread on 1t. He then dived
head foremost into the branches Of
the fallen tree: Il made frantic ef-
forts to crawl through, but stout
branch resisted my progress, and at
the same moment the Galongwa
pushed In after me and pushed me
through the branches to the other
side. Two drops of blood from his
forehead fell on my shorts, one on tho
thigh and one on the knee. Instead
of pushing me straight through in
front Of him, though, he kicked me
sideways. The impetus he gave me
bent aside the stubborn branch and
the next moment found myself
crawling out on hands and knees on
one side of the tree, with rife still
grasped by the muzzle, whilst the ele-
phant was executing dance and
stamping up the ground the other
side, five yards from me, evidently
thinking that was under his feet.
Il quickly changed my rife round
and discharged 1t into his stern. 1t
was the last cartridge in the rife.
Having fired, the rife was taken out
of my hands, and found Matola,
who had counted the shots, standing
beside me, serving me the second RI
file as waiter might offer dish. BY
some oversight 1t had not been loaded
and had given strict orders that
none Of my men were ever to load or
unload my rifles. Being good SOL
dier. Matola had not disobeyed this
order, even under these extreme cir
cumstances, but had gone the nearest
to loading 1t he could.
"The breech was open and he was
holding the clip In position with his
thumb just over the magazine. All I
had to do was to press 1t down as
took hold of the rifle, close the bolt,
and was ready to fire. The elephant
was turning round and I shot him in
the brain, dropping him dead"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
Anael Child.

Little Louis was q solemn-eyed
spiritual.looking child. One morning
he came to his aunt. who was visiting
the family, and asked:
"Auntie, is this Gods day?"
mo, dearie,' replied the aunt: "this
is not Sunday, 1t Is Wednesday,"
I'm sorry" said the boy sadly. as
he went back to his play.
Each succeeding day he asked the
same question OF the aunt in his seri.
GUS manner, and she said to his
mother;
Really, 7 don't think that child will
live long. He is too good for this
world"
When Sunday morning came the
question was repeated. and the aunt
replied;
"Yes. my darling; this Is Gods day"
"0h. goodie!" cried the boy. "Then
where is the funny paper?"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
Assertinn His Rlahts.

It was during the rush hours and
the car was crowded to its full capac-
ity, and then some.
A rather gaudily dressed young man
was standing next to a German, each
holding on to the overhanging strap.
The car gave sudden lurch, which
resulted in the young man stepping
on the Germans toes. This irritated
the German, who addressed the other
angrily.
Mine friendt," he said, II know
mine feet vas meant to be walked on,
but dot privilege belongs to me-
Lippincott's Magazine.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20

The Two Finally Agree.
wen. there's one thing will say in
favor Of the hats and gowns Of the
present time"
Say It"
They're every bit as funny and gro
tesque as the pictures In the fashion
magazines show them to be-"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
END STOMACH TROUBLE,
GASES OR DYSPEPSIA
"Pape's DiapepsIn" makes Sick, Sour,
Classy sStomachs surely feel fine
In five minutes.

If what you lust ate is souring on
your stomach or lies like a lump OF
lead, refusing to digest, OK you belch
gas, and eructate sour. undigested
food, or have a. feeling OF dizziness,
heartburn, fullness, nausea, bad taste
in mouth and stomach.headache, you
can get blessed relief in five minutes.
Put an end to stomach trouble forever
by getting large fifty-cent case OF
Pape's Diapepsin from any drug store.
You realize in five minutes how need
less 1t Is, to suffer from Indigestion,
dyspepsia or any stomach disorder
It's the quickest, surest stomach doc
tor in the world. It's wonderful.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20

Because the tonnage over the fa-
nous Forth bridge in Scotland was so
per cent heavier last year than in the
year when 1t was opened much of the
structure will be rebuilt.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20

When the leaves of tea were first
brought to England they were eaten.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
Had No Regrets.

Mr.. Cohen is the owner Of several
apartment houses which represent the
fruit of many years of toll in the shop,
of careful business methods as man.
ufacturer and of strict frugality. His
first job in this country, as janitor,
he lost after few days because he
could not read nor write. Recently
the president Of a bank where he does
business said to him: sR
"What a pity it is, Mr.. Cohen, that
you never learned to read and write.
There is no telling what man with
your natural business talent might
have accomplished"
81 know that" he answered prompt
ly "If could read and write would
be yet today the janitor."-New York
Tribune.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
Applied LooIc.

An onlooker shook his head as he
watched steam shovel bite off earth
by the ton. He said;'tIt throws men
out of work; 1t loads those cars faster
than 100 men with picks and shovels
could do It."
But another onlooker answered:
'See here, mister, IL 1t would be
better to employ 100 men with picks
and shovels on this job wouldn't 1t
be better still by your way OF think
ing to employ 1000 men with forks
and tablespoons. Ladies' Home Jour
nal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
A story wlth a Moral.

Say, Uncle BY, why do you let
your farm run down SO shamefully?
A little work would put it in good
shape"
Il know 1t. But what's the use? A
feller was along here q while ago an
told me there might be valyooble min
erals under both my medders--an
maybe radium in th ridge up yonder.
I'd be a dunn fool to waste my time
farmin', wouldn't II"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
Some LInouIst.

An old but sturdy Irishman, who
had made reputation as gang
Boss" got job with railroad con-
struction company at Port au Prince,
Haiti. One day when the sun was hot
ter than usual his gang of Haitians
began to shirk, and as the chief engi-
neer rode up on his horse he heard
the Irishman shout: "Allez!-you sons
of gunsAllezl" Then turning to the
engineer, he said: II curse the day /
iver learned their language. From
the Argonaut.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
Wilson says he's heap sight bet
ter than the people who talk about
him"
Shouldn't be surprised. What were
you going to say about him?"
Speeding the sItstIlI.

Nov, take radium; it's worth"
II don't care what 1t is worth"
Don't care what 1t is worth? Why,
man"
"No, I don't care what 1t is worth,
either by the gram. pound or ton. am
interested in the price Of steak, and II
you'll be careful to close the door af-
ter you go out / am going to try to
earn enough to purchase pound Or
What. must you go? Well, good-by."
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
Namlno the Weapons.

The lrishman in France had been
challenged to duel. "Shure,. he
cried. "well folght wild shillalahs."
"That won't do" said his second.
"As the challenged party. you have
the right to choose the arms. but chiv-
airy demands that you should decide
upon weapon with which Frenchmen
are familiar"
rs that SO. indade1" returned the
generous Irishman. Then ven foight
1t out wild guillotines."
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
4 Free to Our Readers

Write Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago, for
48-page illustrated Eye Book Free. Write all
about Your Eye Trouble and they will advise
as to the Proper Application of the Murine
Eye Remedies in Your Special Case. Your
Druggist win tell you that Murine Relieves
Sore Eyes, Strengthens Weak Eyes. Doesn't
Smart, Soothes Eye Pain, and sells for Soc.
Try II In Your Eyes and in Baby's Eyes for
Scaly Eyelids and Granulation.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20

Critic-Your book isn't true to life.
Author-Why do you say that7
Critic-Well, you say. AS the young
lady ordered a $4 dinner her fiance
smiled!" Did you ever see q fiance
do that p Chicago Journal.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
Back 20 the Land.

A woman visited a friend whose hus.
band thought of moving out into the
country.
Getting back to the land Is all well
and good" she said, but could you
be oontented to live In a little placer"
"Yes," replied her friend. II think
| could II I were the only one there
who owned an auto,"--New York
Times.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20

"You don't seem to care for the nu-I
merous compliments extended to this
work OF yours" said the admiring
friend.
No." replied the artist; I'm order
to secure first-ciass advertisement.
a picture has to be roasted"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
And Elara un Lesa oulekIx.

Prof. Profound-Now they claimithe
human body contains sulphur.
Miss Buttertiy-In what amount?
Prof. P.--oh. varying quantities.
Miss B.--Maybe that is why some
girls make better matches than others
Puck.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
Typhold Vaccination.

Philadelphia Ledger: Vaccination
to prevent typhoid fever, which made
a wonderful record in the United
States army during 1918, only two out
of the $4,000 who were vaccinated hav-
ing contracted the disease, Is being
used in the hospitals of this city to
protect the physicians, nurses and EN-.
ployes against infection.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20

"All right. Let me see. I've got a
note to meet, some margins to cover,
the rent is due and need new auto.
Thanks. I'll make It go as far as ]
.an."
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
Splendid Idea.

Some of the gags they get of in
the continuous performances are
enough to make one foreswear the the
ater."
II agree with you. But they are
going to remedy that soon."
Fine. In what way?"
Haven't you heard? The movies
are going to put on up-to-date vaude-
Vile acts"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20

OF every 200 persons who live to be
40 years of age 125 are married.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
WOMAN IN
BAD CONDITION
Restored To Health by Lydia
E. Pinkhazn's Vegeta-
BILE Compound.
Montpelier, Vt =" "We have great
faith in your remedies. Twas veA y ir-

regular and W as
tired and sleepy all
the time, would have
cold chills, and my
hands and feetwould
bloat. My stomach
bothered me, / had
pain In my side and
o bad headache most
of the time. Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound has
done me- lots of rood
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
Putnam Fadeless Dyes will last
until the goods wear out.

The Germans will mount 10000
candle-power searchlights on some of
their airships to illuminate the en-
emy's camp.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
Just Once More.

The living skeleton wished another
engagement at the museum, but the
manager demurred.
Perhaps l can work In something
new," suggested the thin one.
WELL" observed the manager, "I've
given you three engagements as liv.
ing skeleton. reckon can use you
for one more IL YOU will agree to go
as dead one."-Pulitzer's Magazine.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
sian of Recovery.

Rev. Caller-Well, Mrs. Mangles,
and is the good man any better?
Mrs. Mangles- oh, yes, sir. 'E's
nearly all right agen, sir. e don't
say lis prayers no more of q night
now. sir.--Sydney Bulletin.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
AeeomuIlshed.

Soiled Sylvester-Where did Benny
de Bum learn such correct deport-
ment?
Fix Hawsted-Didn't youse know
he's just come from de house of cor
rection?-Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
Experienced Hands.

whats this firm I hear talk Of
this Cupid & Hymen?"
"Oh, they are couple of old ex-
perienced hands who are in the match.
making business. ~ Baltimore Ameri-
can.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20

Wright's Indian Vegetable Pills put
the stomach in good condition in
short time. Try them for Sick Stom-
ach, Biliousness and Indigestion. ADV.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20

Willie--Paw, what Is an amateur?
Paw--An amateur Is q fellow who
will work harder for medal than he
will for real money, my son.-Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-03-20
A Connoisseur.

"The colonel claims to be q good
judge of horseflesh."
picked it up abroad, s'pose.
understand they serve 1t In many of
those European restaurants"