davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19
GIVE THIS A LITTLE THOUGHT
There Is a Point to This Imported Joke, But Perhaps You Will Have
 To Look for 1t.

This Is not an American joke. Ths reader is solemnly warned that |, Is of German extraction. Germans as everybody knows, like their jests broad and brutal. The victim of this one was Cousin Hugo.
 It seems Cousin Hugo made a night tf it and got home as the small hours began to cease to be so small A. he climbed the stairs he stumbled Gin spite of the most elaborate care) and rolled down into the hall below. The consequence, for Cousin Hugo is not 50 young as he used to be, was brok en collarbone and strained back Ahead even of the mllkman, then, came the family doctor, an estimable old gentleman, and administered soothing words while he encased the patient in plaster.
 T know, my dear sir." he said, "that 1t hurts like the deuce, but 1t Is not 8 bit dangerous. All the same you'll have to stay in bed for while. You got a nasty fall. How did 1t happeni Was it dark?"
 Tt was not, doctor" replied Cousin Hugo with some asperity. Tt waa light" .... -....
 But perhaps you arc not . bser drinker.-New York Evening Post
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19
Curlna Wood.

Wood has contagious diseases! \ stick of wood in a lumber yard may b. sick and infect other timbers, which later may develop the disease when they are supporting weights in . new building. Some of the diseases are SC contagious that in building they will jump several feet across masonry or brick to some stick of healthy wood Cures were recently discussed by tho American Society of Mechanical Eu' gineers. @ -
 Most of the diseases are varieties of dry rot caused by fungus. and most of the varieties of dry rot fungus can not stand heat much over 100 degrees; SO the most likely cure is to close . building up tight, if any beams are in- fected, and heat 1t up to 120 or 14e dc grees. Even this is not always sue cessful, for ends of beams are buried in the outer brick. walls and the heat may not reach them.-Saturday Eve ming Post.
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19
Good Berry Crop.

Conway, March 1S.-Pros- poets for a good yield and a good price for strawberries in this vicinity this season never were better, according to w. D. Cole, Jr., secretary of the Faulkner County Truck Growers Associa tion. MT. Cole says that trade reports say that in Texas and Western Arkansas a large per centage of the vines were de- stroyed by the drouth last sum- mer, and it is almost certain that the crop in many sections will be light. In this county the plants were not materially dam aged, and the indications are for a good yield.
 Last year the crop in this sec tion was unusually late, and ber- ries from Missouri were mar keted at the same time the Ar kansas crop was maturing, caus- ing an oversupply and a low price.
 About $50 acres are planted in berries in the vicinity of Conway and it is estimated that about 25 cars will be shipped this year.
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19
says Ants Do Not co-opsrats.

M. Cornetz, a. practised observer -ot insect life, asserts that ants know nothing of cooperation in their soctal life, In proof he cites an experiment. which any one can repeat. Oner an ant piece of cheese shaped like Q shuttle: 1t seizes the tip. turns 1t about and starts dragging it in the d. rection of it's nest. Other ants arrive and seize the cheese by its sides. It continues to advance, but more slowly. There is no united effort: each ant is trying to turn the crumb of cheese around. If we chase oil the ants op the right the cheese will turn to the right, for the other ants are pushing 1t. Chase of those on the left and Il turns to the left for the same reason. Chase of the one that is pulling 1t and 1t stands still, for the ants on each side counteract each other.
 M. Cornetz holds this a proof that each ant is acting for himself alone.
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19
TYPICAL DINNER IN FRANCE
Its Service in the Land of True Epicures.

A typical French dinuer--not aH exceptional cue, mark you but such & dinner as a small tradesman's fam fly would have-is ,ncomparably su. perior to the plain roast dinner.
 There would be first of all, a few ralishes, according to the season of the year Radshes. ice cold, sarlnes, olives. caviar Just little of each with which to awaken the appetite then the soup to excite gently the liGuids Of the throat and stomach then a little entree-usually a bit of fish with its appropriate vegetable, or a handful of vegetables favored with meat sauce. Then, and not till then, does the chief course appear.
 It may be roast. or game, or chicken, or chops, but in no case will 1t be anything which is not in har mony with the previous courses and 1t will be eaten In moderation. for the edge of the diners appetite will have been dulled by the lighter foods which have preceded it. With 1t comes the salad-varied throughout the year by all the possible changes of the sea son, and never, never by any possi- bility will 1t be such a dreadful green hybrid as the romaine, stra wberry and green pepper thing. After the salad there will be fruit or mellow cheese, and then coffee. It will take two hours to eat such dinner. but 1t will take only half what the typical American dinner costs to pay for 1t. and there vii! be no indigestion aft erward, no matter of what the din- ner Is mposed.--Princess Hassan in an Interview by Louise Rice in the Delineator
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19
China "caIled" LIyInastone.

It is not generally known that Ldv ingstone originally had the intention of devoting himself to the work of ''a pioneer of Christianity in China."' u was as such that he offered himself to the London Missionary society in 1887. but when he had received hia diploma from the faculty of physicianA and surgeons in 1s4o. he found China closed to him., as Great Britain was then at war with the. country. It waa hls meeting with Moftat. who had TO gently returned from South Africa that led his steps to ths Dark Cont usok
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19

v"arS, and at times became so bad I would become unconscious I have been found In that condition many times. Physicians did not seem to be able to do me any good. I would become weak and for days at time could do no work Not long ago I got box Of Dr. Miles Laxative Tablets, and after using them found I had never tried anything that acted in such mild and effective manner. I believe I have at last found the remedy that suits my case"
 Thousands of people are sufferers from habitual constipation and while possibly realizing something of the danger of this condition, yet neglect too long to employ proper curative measures until serious ill., ness often results. The advice of all physicians is, keep your bowels clean" and it's good advice.
 Dr. Miles Laxative Tablets are sold by all druggists, at 2s cents box containing 2s doses. If not found satisfactory, your money is returned
 MILES MEDICAL CO, Elkhar<, IaA
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19
Much Like Sarcasm.

Tho conceited visitor had talked 3 long time, and small Js.nie was duly impressed with the brea dth and varie ty of his knowledge. At last th' talker made the sententlous statement that one-half the world does not know how the other half lives. Why don, you teach them7"", was the innocent question that made the visitor blush and his other listeners struggle witE scarcely suppressed chuckles.
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19

No NonoI,IcIve Euidanc~ oF Nbsr,

No Conclusive Evidence of Change.
 Five years ago, sif," triumphantly declared the landlord of tae Atlantic and Pacific hotel at Whoopopolis, Ok. there was no town here at all!" 'H'm!" replied the hypercritical tour ist from the east And what makes you think there is one here now?"
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19
WHY IT SUCCEEDS.
Because It's For One Thing Only and Newport People Ap-
 preciate It.

Nothing can be good for every thing.
 Doing one thing we'll brings success.
 Doan's Kidney Pills are for one thing only.
 For weak or disordered kid neys.
 Here is reliable evidence of their worth. .t..
 Mrs. B. F. Owens, Magness, Arkansas, says: "One of our family complained a great deal of a dull pain in the small of the back. Dizzy spells were common especially in the morning. The kidney secretions were too un- natural. Hearing Doan's Kid ney Pills highly recommended, a box was procured. They made a cure."
 Price, soc at all dealers. Don't simply ask for a kidney remedy get Doan's- the kind Mrs. Owens had. Foster -Milburn Co.,, proprietors, Buffalo, New York. (Adv.)
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19
Humility Flrst.

We shall never be the Tight of the worl6' except on condition of being the "salt of the earth" You have to do the humble, inconspicuous. silent work of checking corruption by . pure example before you can aspire to do the other work of raying out light into the darkness, and so drawing mon to Christ himself-Alexander MclAren.
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19
Pressing Club.

Starting March 1st, four suits sponged and pressed a month, S1.OO. All who wish to join phone 78. Bee Robinson, 514 First street. S7dtf
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19
Uncovered Family Group.

An interesting discovery was re- gently made in Edinburgh in the course of the demolition of the old church buildings of A parish church !n Roxburgh Place vault contain ing the remains of, Lady Glenorchy. Q member of the Breadalbane family. and the founder of the original church. was laid bare.
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19

Sometimes They Are Right. Many a geod wife Is firmly con vinced that her husband doesn't har. monize with anything in the house or. cept the nutmeg grater.-CbicaGo News.
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19
Small Wonder.

A lady suffering from a severe cold directed her maid to procure two pen nyworth Of ammoniated tincture of quinine. Great was her amusemepa on the return of the maid. who ex. pressed her inability to obtain "ths two animated pictures of Queen AAne."-Lnndon Telegraph
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19
Society People classliied.

storekeeper-"They are society people. They belong to our first and last families" Customer-"You mean first fam!lies'?" Storekeeper-"No: first and last. First to ask credit and last to pay ",-Puck
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19

Many cases ot typhoid fever, appendicitis a Il q other severe dis cases are trace. able to prolonged clogging of the bowels. Regard- f Il c effects o f constipation. C |. T.. Ayers. 6 Sabin St, Montpelier. Y L., says:
 T was afflicted with constipation and biliojISnnSS for
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19
Constipation, if Neglected, Causes Serious Illness

Constipation. if neglected, leads ro almost innumerablc compliea ions affecting the general health
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19
STOMACH TROUBLE
 FOR FIVE YEARS

najevfy of Friends Thought Mir.
 Hughss Would Die, But
 One Helped Him to
 Recovery.
 Pomesoyton. Ky.-ln Interesting ad- vices from tl,is place. Mr. A. ). Hughes vsites e follows: "I was down with stomach trouble for five O years. and would have sick headache % bad. q dmes n,at thought srsly l would dls. ! tzied different treatmeuts. but they dld aos seem b do me any good
 lEoe Q bad, 1 could not eat e deep, aaA atl my friends, except one, thought vss6A ,dls. He advised ms Q ky ] tNs6losfs Black DfausAl aaA esll
Newport daily independent., 1914-03-19

taking other medicines. | decided Co take his advice. although l did not have any confidence In t. a1e
 have now been taking Black -Dranell for three months, and 1t has cured nc haven't had those awful sick headaches since began using 1t.
 l am % thankful for what Black. Draught has done for me-"
 Thediord's Black Draught has beea found . very valuable medicine for de. engagements of the stomach and liver. D is composed os pure. vegetable herhsb contains no dangerous ingredients. an4 acis gently. yet surely. It can be fres1 used by young and old. and shoa'A - kept h every faa,lly chest.
 Get | paekass to-day.
 only . quartsr.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1914-06-24
CITY COUNCIL REVIEWS ASSESS.
MENTS.

Monday morning the city council met
as a board of review to check over the
assessments Of the real and personal
property as returned by Assessor Berg
and his assistants and to listen to COM
plants made bys persons who believe
their assessments SIN unfair. The most Of
first day was spent in going over the
assessments Of real estate on Minnesota
Street and a few changess were made
The board was in session in the evening
also and was to meet again last night.
It was expected that they might finish
up the work TX last night. Up to the time
'ot going to press no complaints were filed
against the personal property assessments
and not to exceed a half dozen kicks
were registered against the assessment 81
the real estate. q
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1914-06-24
REPORT OF FARMERS ELEVATOR
co.

| Owing to the bad roads, the annual
meeting of the New Ulm Farmers
Elevator Company which was held at
Schell's Hall Saturday afternoon was
not so well attended as in previous years.
Two reports were submitted and filed,
that of the Secretary showing the
volume of business transacted during
the past year and the reports of William
Dehn, Henry Simmet and Theo. Waibel
as auditing committee to the effect that
they had audited the books of the
Secretary and Treasurer and had found
everything in good shape.
From the annual report OF the Secre-
tary it appears that the year just closed
was an eminently successful one from a
business standpoint. The total business
transacted during the year amounted to
to $148,359.17. The grain handled at
the elevator was as follows: Wheat,
114,141 bushels, rye, 24,597, barley,
1859, oats, 1857, flax, 2,7O7,. bushels.
Besides that the elevator sold 81 tons
of hard coal and 1889 tons of soft coal.
Only one change was made in the board
of directors, Joseph Diepolder retiring
from the board because he has given up
active farming. The following were
elected, two from each Township: Court
land, Ed. Remnant, Julius Schroeder;
Milford, Herman Pfaender, Robert
Runck; Lafayette, John Huelskamp,
Henry Simmet; Sigel, II. a. Hillesheim,
H.. Manderfeld;W est Newton, Jos. Alt
mann, Math. Walser; Cottonwood, Jos.
Sperl, John Reinhart.
The board organized by electing the
following officers: Pres, Jos. Sperl;
Secy., Herman Pfaender; Treas, Henry
Simmet. Robert Runck was elected as
a member of the official family and will
serve in an advisory capacity. Paul
Wandersee was retained as manager and
Arthur Hillesheim of Sigel as assistant.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1914-06-24
K. c. INITIATION.

Thirty-nine candidates were initiated
into the mysteries Of the Order Of
Knights of Columbus last Sunday.
Eight were from New Ulm, eight from
Waseca, seven from Seaforth, five from
Madelia, four from Ivanhoe, two from
Sleepy Eye and one each from Lake
Ienton, Tracy, Marshall, Wabasso and
Morgan.
The initiation took place in the
Auditorium Of the Catholic Church.
The first degree was exemplifed by the
Mankato team at 8 o'clock in the morn
ing. The second and third degrees were
exemplifed in the afternoon beginning at
2 o'clock, the work being completed at
$50. The work Of the End degree was
h mplifed by the New Ulm team and
Mhird by the crack team from Mime
In the evening about $50 of the
knights and ladies sat down to the festive
board and a splendid repast was served.
Lecturer P. Liesch opened the program
and introduced Rev. Schlinkert as the
toastmaster of the evening who in turn
introduced Mayor L. A. Fritsche.
j. 4 j G { Z :
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1914-06-24
NEW ULM, BROWN COUNTY. MINNESOTA, WEDNESDAY, JUNEM

Mayor Fritsche spoke upon municipal
government and enlarged upon the duties
OF the chief executive Of a city. He also
touched upon medicine and surgery.
Other speakers were ]. H.. Nightingale
and Vim. Donahue of Minneapolis, Rev.
Jordan Of Marshall, Rev. Fey Of Spring
field, Rev. Hughes and Attorney Regain
OF Mankato and J. J. Moriarty OF New
Ulm. Glen Schroeder OF Mankato sang
a solo and a quartette consisting of John
Henle, Willibald Eibner and the Misses
Gertrude Ross and Mary Gruenenfelder
favored the banqueters with "a vocal
selection. Gruenenfelder's orchestra
furnished the music for the occasion
The banquet came to an end shortly
after II o'clock and most of the visiting
Knights returned to their homes the
same evening.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1914-06-24
Visitors Trim
New U |. Boys
NIMRODS FROM DROWSY TOWN
WIDE AWAKE ENUF TO
SHOOT STRAIGHT
SCORES ARE CLOSE TOGETHER
SPRINGFIELD DOES NOT
SHOW UP. {

To be beaten by four birds was New
Ulm's lot at the match shoot pulled off
between the members of the local gun
club and the crack shoots of Sleepy Eye
at the Fair Grounds Sunday morning at
11:15. AS originally planned it was to
be three-cornered affair, the other club
to participate being the Springfield club.
Owing to the incessant rain during the
past week and the resulting poor roads,
the locals made up their minds that
neither of the clubs would show up and
were very much surprised when the
Sleepy Eye contingent pulled in with
mud despatched autos, ready for the
fray.
A hurry call was sent out by the
secretary and enough Of the local men
were corralled to make up team of IL,
the number brought down by Sleepy Eye.
Some of the best local shots could not be
reached and this is given sas the reason
why the New Ulmites lost out. An
examination of the score will show also
that those who did participate in the
shoot, fell down and failed to make the
scores by several points that they have
been making at the regular shoots for
the past few weeks. Refreshments were
served and the visitors and home people
had an enjoyable visit in addition to the
pleasure of the shoot itself. The follow
ing scores were made:
Sleepy Eye.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1914-06-24
ORDERED INTO CAMP.

Orders were received last week by the
field officers and the Captains of the
companies and band for the annual
of the Second Infantry,
Minnesota National Guard. The regi-
ment will go into camp at Camp Mccoy,
near Sparta, Wis, on July 9Th and
remain until July 18th.
This year Minnesota will send two
regiments, the First and the Second, to
the Wisconsin maneuvers. Two years
ago the Second and Third regiments
it being the first time
Minnesota troops were ever sent to the
joint maneuvers of the regular army and
the organized militia.
At present so many of the regiments
OF the regular army are stationed along
the Mexican border that it is probable
there will be but one battery of artillery
to take part in the maneuvers, but officials
OF the war department have decided to
have the First South Dakota infantry
go into camp with the two Minnesota
regiments The national guardsmen
will be required to live under actual
field conditions, and the program will
consist largely Of battle exercises and
practice.
The End Regt. Band, Co. A and
the Machine Gun Company will 60 from
here and it is expected that they will make
fully as good showing as they made at
the previous joint maneuvers.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1914-06-24
CONCERT BEGINS EARLIER.

Next Sunday evening the Second
Regiment Band plan to give the citizens
a great treat in a musical way. They are
preparing to render "The Hunting Of the
Shark, an epical parody in six cantos.
This composition is a parody Of quaint
and fanciful theme in verse and was first
published many years ago but was
reprinted in new form in 1902. The
number will be the third on the program
and the synopsis of the cantos is as
follows:
Canto 1-Andante pastorale MONDAY
in peaceful hamlet.
Canto II-Moderato pomposo- The
Bellman, an ancient mariner, relates
The Terrible Tale of the Shark. =
"A fearsome thing, of grewsome form
That in deep chasm doth dwell"
Canto Maestoso-T The Hunters, The
Bellman, Banker, Baker, and Others,
seek the Shark in his lair. They
march boldly but fearfully,
Canto IV-Mysterioso tremolos Dan
ger is near-The hunters move softly
and silently.
Canto V-Allegro Vivace- Danger is too
near-The hunters become panic
stricken and a general stampede
ensues, leaving the Banker, who
$50 Uraat u,ac hie FRIGHT
That his waistcoat turned white.'
Canto VI-Marziale- The hunters re-
turn in triumph, congratulating
themselves upon having made a
mastery. and heroic retreat, but the
Baker had met with the Shark.
The concert will begin at quarter to
eight. The selections made for the
evening are:
|. March "A Charge to Victory" McFall
2. Overture Light Cavalry
,s Frou Suppe
8. THE. Hunting of the Shark.
4. Waltz adele" .Briquet and Philip
5. Return OF the Troops III. A. La Rue
s. March .'The America Up to
Date j. S. Dass
z. March Macs Winner Is. Nc Fall
8. Overture 'Semiramide" G.. Rossini
9. Scene de Cancert 'Chiquita''
TIL. Faubert
10. Waltz Danube Waves
j. Ivanoici
II. Wedding March "Midsumer
Nights Dream .Mendelssohn
~. March Jolly Soldier Lads
B. L. Billings
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1914-06-24
Train Wheels
Crush Out Life
COTTONWOOD BRIDGE SCENE
OF ACCIDENT WHICH ENDS
MANS LIFE.
WAS A. LABORER WITH CARNIVAL
COMPANY. HOME IN WIS
CONSIN.

e Richard Britain, man employed by
the carnival troupe which showed in this
city last week, was run over by North
western train near here late Saturday
night or early Sunday morning. The
remains were discovered by the train
crew of the westbound freight which
pulled into the city about six o'clock
Sunday morning. The accident took
place on the main line to Mankato about
three miles east of town.
Coroner G. F. Reineke and Sheriff W..
J. Julius went down to identify the man
in company with Mr.. Tatmen,a member
of the carnival company. Mr.. Tatman's
Identification and memoranda found in
Brittan's coat pockets we're sufficient to
establish the identity of the man beyond
a doubt.
Mr.. Britain was hale and hearty
fellow, about thirty five years old, and
was employed as pinman by the Carnival
company. It seems that he and another
employee of the show concern imbibed
rather too freely Saturday night and
Cnen set out for Mankato on the east
bound freight which left at about eleven
o'clock. His companion was so in
toxicated that he crawled into a boxcar
to sleep off the effects of the liquor, but
Britain continued his journey.
Exact details as to the nature of the
accident, if it was an accident, are of
course lacking. He may have fallen off
the freight train and been knocked I'M
conscious by the fall or else he may have
become drowsy and sat down on the
track to rest. The possibility Of suicidal
intentions is not absolutely improbable
either because not cent of money was
found on his person. However, that is
the least likely supposition.
From the way the remains were strewn
along the right of way it is surmised
that both the westbound and eastbound
passenger trains passed over the body
which was found to one side of the track
with the head and shoulGe's about a
block away on the opposite side. Bits
of clothing and small parts of the body
were scattered along the track, increasing
Ne horror and grewsomeness of the
nsccident.
That Britain was reduced to severe
straits was evident from the articles
found in the pockets of his suit. A
bottle of ink, pen, a few pencils, cigaret
papers, but no tobacco, was all that
could be found. The remains were
gathered together and taken to Forster's
undertaking establishment.
The deceased was veteran of the
Spanish-American war and had also
served four years as yeoman on the same
ship with Raymond Juni, of this city.
Some years ago he was injured by the
explosion of shell on the u S. Battle
ship Missouri and since that time has
been drawing $12 per month as pension.
Thru information furnished by Mr..
Clark, engineer of the merry go-round
with the carnival company, the local
authorities were able to get on the track
of the deceased's relatives. The remains
were shipped to his mother, Mrs. Ben
sN, in Manistee, Mich, yesterday
where interment will be made the latter
part of thisweek