The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-11-09

It had been dt1ged into MIN tnaL
True Politeness means to. wait until
everyone else has been Served and
then murmur few Thanks for the
Leavings
Besides, his Parents had convinced
him that ii lie went Fishing he
wouldn't get a Nibble, and II he
climbed Tree he would fall and
break his Log. and if he tried to ma
nipulate more than Two DOllars!at one
time, he would so Blink.
Therefore, when both were in Col
lege, Rufus acted as plunging Half
Back, with Iilue Smoke coming from
Ills Nostrl!s, and achieved the'undying
DISTINCTION CT being singled out, by
Walter Camp.
Edgar sat up on the Bleachers with
$500 other Mere Students and Eept q
quayering Tenor to Song about Alma
Mater.
Even the undergrads could notttake
the Tuck out of Rufus.
He was rresher than Green Paint
and his Work was Raw, but he was so
Resilient that no one could pin him to
the Mat and keep him there.
When Boy has been told S77 times
Day for many Years that he is the
Principal Feature of the Landscape. it
takes more than ordinary DoctoTirg to
Cure him
He left College thoroughly convinced
that the World was his Oyster and
that he had an Opener in every
Pocket
lie began grabbing Public Service
Utilities by Strong-Arm methods,
wnereupoa a lot of Uplifters became
excited ind wanted some one else to
bead him OF.
He put things Across because when
lie tucked the Ball under his Arm and
began to dig for the Goal of his I'm
mediate. Ambition, all the Friends of
Public Veal were scared Blue and re-
tired behind the Ropes.
Edgar took his Degree out into the
Cold World and began to make apollo
gotic Inquiries regarding Humble En-
ployment which would involve no Re-
sponsibillties.
He became an Office Lawyer OF the
dull gray Variety with special Aptl-
Lude, for. drawing up Leases and ex-
.emining Abstracts.
EIe could not face Jury or fight a
Case because the fond Parents had put
the Sign Oh him and robbed him of all
his Gimp 81
But a Nice Fellow?
You know it. Is,
Anyone who had q Book to sell, or
Petition to be signed, or a Note that
needed endorsing came dashtng right
into Edgars Once and Hailed him as
the Champion Patsy OF the Universe.
Not ono of these ever ventured into
the Lair OF the Street Railway Car.
for he knew that Rufus might 5ump
over the Mahogany Table, and bite
him in the Arm.
Even Edgar, when he made Bust
ness Call on Boyhood Friend and low
ing Classmatc, was permitted to walt
in the Outer Room, resting his Hat on
his knees, and mingling on terms of
Equality with the rnodish Typist and
the scorntul Secretary.
And when they went away to look at
some Properties, Rufus took the State
room while Edgar drew an Upper.
Any great big Brute OF Man with
a Tigerish Instinct for bouncing on
each Good Thing and then hanging on
10 it like Grim Death, never can win
the Esteem OF the envious but anaemic
Gallery.
Everyone at the Club referred to
Edgar as Good Old Scout, but when
all the Push gathered at the Round
Table and some one let fall the Name
OF the High Binder, they would open
up on Rufus and Pan him to Wits
per.
Then Rufus would enter in his Fur
Coat, upsetting Furniture and, Serv-
ants as he swept through the Loun-
| ging Room.
Immediately there would BIO an Epi-
demlc OF Goose Pimples and Rush
TO shake Hands with him.
Rufus was sinfully Rich, but never
theless Detestable, because his Family
had drilled into him the low.down
Habit Of getting the Jump on the Other
Fellow.
Edgar may live in Rented House,
but he will always have the inward
Satisfaction OF knowing that he Is a
sweet and courteous Gentleman with
Pink Underwear, and Masonic
Charm on his Watch Chain.
When Edgar answers the Call the
Preacher will speak briefly from tho
Text, Blessed are the Meek"
II the Death Angel succeeds In pull
ing down Rufus. the same Minister
will find q Suggestion for his Remarks
in those inspiring Words u have
fought the Good Fight" @
!. MORAL: ..l... FL
The scrapper is seldom beloved but
ne gets Run for his Ticket.
I,s.fut on Occasion.