Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1914-08-21
81
GEORGE.
AI)Es
FABLES
IN
SLANG

They had corraled his Goat, so hi
had to play the Part himself.
1t had been dinged into him thai
True Politeness means to wait until
everyone else has been Served and
then murmur a few Thanks for tho
Leavings.
Besides, his Parents had convinced
him that II he went Fishing he
wouldn't get Nibble, and II he
climbed q Tree he would fall and
break his Leg, and il he tried to ma.
nipulate more than Two Dollars at one
time, he would go Blink.
Therefore, when both were in Col.
lege, Rufus acted as plunging Half
Back. with Blue Smoke coming from
his Nostrils, and achieved the undyine
Distinction Of being singled out by
Walter Camp.
Edgar sat up on the Bleachers with
$500 other Mere Students and lent d
quavering Tenor to Song about Alma
Mater.
Even the Undergrads could not take
the Tuck out OF Rufus.
He was fresher than Green Paint
and his Work was Raw, but he was so
Resilient that no one could pin him to
the Mat and keep him there.
When Boy has been told S77 times
Day for many Years that he is the
Principal Feature OF the Landscape, It
takes moro than ordinary Doctoring t.
| Cure him.
He left College thoroughly conyincet
that the World was his Oyster ant
that he had an Opener in ever.
Pocket.
lie began grabbing Public servic
Utilities by StrcnC-Arn mo,hcC
whereupon lot CT Url!f,ers bccam
excited and wanted some one else
head him or.
He put things Across because whr
he tucked the EGll uLder his ARA &.
began TO dig for the CoGl CT his |.
mediate Ambition, al the Friends
Public Veal were scared Elue ard r
urea D~Hlhu tnG I,CpCS.
EdGer took his Derrco cut into IL
4 Geld World and teEGn 10 make uTo,
Cotic Inquiries regarding Humble IL
rloyment which would inyclye no Il,
sponsibllltles.
He became an Office Lawyer OF IN
Gu,l gray Variety with a special Api
tude for drawing up Leases and ex
tmininS ABSTRACTS.
lie could not face Jury or fight {
Case because the fond Parents had pu.
the Sign on him and robbed him OF al
his Gimp.
But Nice Fellow?
You know Il.
Anyone who had Book to sell, or
q Petition TO be signed, or Note that
needed endorsing came dashing right
into Edgar's Office and Hailed him as
the Champion Patsy Of the Universe.
Not one OF these ever ventured into
the Lai. Of the Street Railway Car
for he knew that Rufus might jumT
over the Mahogany Table and bite
him in the Arm.
Even Edgar. when he made a Bust
ness Call on Boyhood Friend and Low
Ing Classmate, was permitted to wait
in the Outer Room, resting his Hat Oh
his knees. and mingling on terms oi
Equality with the modlsh Typist ant
the scornful Secretary.
And when they went away to look al
some Properties, Rufus took the State
room while Edgar drew an Upper.
Any great big Brute OF a Man with
a Tigerish Instinct for pouncing OF
each Good Thing and then hanging OF
to 1t like Grim Death, never can wir
the Esteem Of the envious but anaemic
Gallery.
Everyone ut the Club referred L
Edgar as a Good Old Scout, but wher
all the Push gathered at the Rount
Table and some one let fall the Nam,
Of the High-Binder, they would oper
/ up on Rufus and Pan him to q Whis
per.
, Then Rufus would enter In his Fui
; Coat upsetting Furniture and Serv
ants as he swept through the Loun
, ging Room.
Immediately there would be On Epl
: demic OF Goose Pimples and Rusl
to shake Hands with him.
Rufus was slnfully Rich. but never
theless Detestable, because his Family
had drilled into him the low-dowr
: Habit Of getting tho Jump on the othei
Fellow.
Edgar may live In Rented House
: but he will always have the inwart
Satisfaction Of knowing that he is {
: sweet and courteous Gentleman Will
Pink Underwear. and Masoni,
: Charm on his Watch Chain.
When Edgar answers tho Call, III,
Preacher will speak briefly from III,
Text. blessed are the Meek"
II the Death Angel succeeds in pull
Ing down Rufus, the same Minister
: will find Suggestion for his Remark,
: in those inspiring Words, Il hav,
fought the Good Fight"
MORAL:
The Scrapper Is seldom beloved bu
he gets a Run for his Ticket