Omaha daily bee. (Omaha [Neb.]) 187?-1922, 1914-09-02
Folly of Hav ng
a Conhdante
by BEATRICE FAIRFAX


Women have a sad habit Of discussing
their most intimate affairs with relatives,
friends, and even mere acquaintance.
They tell OF their worries, their home
life. their little triumDhs and defeats
they discuss their finances. and in nine
cases out of ten wofully misplace their
condolences. IL YOU cannot keep your
own secrets, how can YOU suppose that
any one else will more carefully guard
them?
Marie writes me as follows Il had a
dear friend-a woman almost old enough
to be my mother And as have no
mother | told her all my secrets. And
now my cousin, with whom l live, Is
very angry because l did not make her
my confidante. I don't like to tell her
about my affairs because ] know she
tells her husband. And although I have
nothing TO hide, | don't like to have
every one know all about my plans and
ambitions How shall ! find a safe con-
fidante?"
My dear Marie, since your mether is
not al your side to share your thoughts
and plans there is no safe confidente
for you. IT is a feminine falling to want
desire to hear your own voice discussing
your most sacred and secret affairs.
For IL they are OF any interest at all. the
woman to whom you tell them. will prob
ably feel the same desire that is actuat-
ing you and will give them little more
publicity. Nor will you find men much
safer confidants.
II you tell in the hope of getting ad-
vice from your confidante that depend
ance will give you a certain guarantee
of safety. For there is something In the
appeal for help that calls out the sense
OF honor which all humans have i'm
greater or less degree But that is a
different matter. If you want advice go
TO the most sympathetic and sensible per-
son you know and tell her whatever she
needs to know in order to help you ad-
Just your affairs
But IL your desre is merely a con-
fidante''-a sort Of safety valve-beleve
me when l tell you that there is no
safety there. II you tell under promise
OF secrecy your confidante is likely to
tell some one else under the same mis-
leading and misguided pre- mise, and so on
and on your little secret will so until IL
is fairly public property.
II you are not sufficiently wise to keep
your affairs to yourself why should you
expect to be sufficiently wise to so Judge
human nature as to select reliable
confidante?
II you find your affairs so interesting
that you have to hear your story told
why should you not expect your con-
tidante to have as much literary sense
as you have? A good story secures in
terssting listeners. Why then should your
confidante not yield to the desire to pub
fish the circumstances OF which you have
made her aware?
Even II you are not directly betrayed
by your false confidant the story is
likely to be told without names and 30
presently 1t will circle to some one who
can put two and two together" and
tell to whom It applies
A secret seldom concerns one person
alone The affairs OF which you tell in
all probability concern at least one other
person beside yourself. so In the process
OF telling YOU are violating a confidence
aud relating a secret that is not all yours
TO tell and your own standard OF honor
Will afford your confidante an excuse not
to keep faith with you.
There are same perfectly honorable
people in the world. You may find one
and safely confids your affairs to her.
Or you may come scross a chatterbox
VINO simply cannot keep o secret or
some one with a bit OF malice who will
use your own words against you. You
may inspire lack OF faith In some one
whose good opinion you long to possess.
You may trust since you cannot keep
! your own affairs to yourself.
Make friends with yourself Think
/ your affairs over sansly and calmly.
But unless you have a mother or a de-
voted sister or some one who has a
right to know your affairs. keep them
70 yourself Don't be a chatterbox.
Keep few things to yourself. You will
be heartily glad some day II you have
cultivated the habit OF keeping your own
confidence Be true 10 yourself, and you
viii be able to be loyal to friendship and
/ love as we'll