The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-01-14
Laugh With U.

First Tramp-After al. it pays to
be pefllte, pArdner. =
second Tramp-Not always. Tho
other day I was actin deaf and dumb
when a man gave me sipence. I says
thank you, sir" and he had me ar.
rested.
The young daughter. of the house,
hold vas made to sit down and cleo
trify the, assembled guests with her
piano playing.
fist when her daughter had finished.
what do you think of my daughters
execution?
Madame he replied. deliberately,
II think II, would be . capital idea"
In n Of the HreSklyn court. a;.-
y yen1 "a ser r1au'' imm ais n.''''0os )
Now, Britsmann," said the jaw.
yer for the plaintiff. what do you
Itch VOC pretty veil" replied the
witness.
i am mo inquirins as I your
health. I want to know what You
"vork!, i;
Where do you work?s continued
the counsel. 4- III !.
: "In a. factory" ss.s
What kind Ola factory" sssSs;
1T vos a pretty big vactory."
turning to the Judge. "if this socsson.
we'n need an Interpreter. Then no
turned to the witness again.
Now, Britzmann, what do you.
make in the factory?" he asked.
You want to know what I make in
Exactly: Tell us what you make"
Eight dollars a week" g
Then the interpreter got as5chance
to earn his daily bread. -
Needing some ribbon n dayswhile
in a very small southern town, We
went to the n store there.
"Rtbbons?" questioned the store.
stock of ribbons, but il you.ail come
back later I'll see II 1 can find them"
So back We went later. He had
found them.
"M H,i,s . color Dc you-all want:"
"oh, blue:". he exclaimed in dis
Blue is SO popular We don't even try
George-what a fine building that
Is across the way.
Charles-Yes. yes: but the owner
built It out Of the blood, aches, and
groans OF his fellowmen; out Of the
Of wailing women"
yes!" 80
"oh, no.; he's a dentist"
Spell ferment and give its dehni-
ton" requested the school teacher.
:F-e:r-m-e-n-t, ferment, to work."
Now. place it in a sentence, SO
that / may be sure you understand
its meaning" said the teacher.
In summer | would rather play
out Of doors than ferment in the
school house." returned the small
pupil with such doleful frankness and
unconscious huinor that the teacher
found it hard to suppress q smile,
The steamboat, came splashing
along her course at full speed and
the first thing the passengers knew she
had crashed, head on into the pier.
Mercy" cried q passenger. as the
splinters few. q wonder what is the
"Nothin Tr ma'am-sbut loox. to m.
as If h captain just forgot that we
At.sa recent dinner in a suburban
district, where all the guests were
amateur chicken raisers. after a dis
cussion Of the egg problem the con-
Nersation turned to the best breed Of
hens. After the good points Of Or
pingtcn's Minorcas. Leghorns and
others had all been brought forth the
host said:
We'll. the ultimate end Of every
chicken is the pot. and you can't tell
the difference when 1t 10 on the table.
Let's see how many can tell what
kind OF a hen we have just eaten"
All agreed it was q very good
kind: but there q many suesses
as to the breed. The only child at
the table, a 12-year-old boy, wal the
n who guessed correctly.
The host 'beamed on him and said:
Jimmie. how did you know it was q
Plymouth Rock?"
oh. that was easy" he replied. IT
found a feather in the gravy"
POINTED PARAGRAPHS. .