davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-08

not helm him They would themselves
kick the kings crown into the Elbe.
So the kaiser quickly climbed down. ana
after he had emphatically taken the civ
ilian side tie took no less empnatically
the mlitarist side.
In his conflict with conservatives.
militarists. crown prince parties. and
other revolters. Wilhelm ~ is showing
himself to he weak man. This en-
couraGes the rebels. and their agitation
always carried on i'll the name OF loyaiS
increases every day and takes daily
more seditious character. open Jibes az
the kaiser are common. After the JaSow
and crown prince miltarist deInonstra-
tons a conservative paper said that we
need men like the police president and
the crown prince at the head or our gov
ernment" This was tackled on TO an
attack on Bethmann-H oilweg, but the
dragging in of the crown prince showed
that the real target was the kaiser.
The kaiser is afraid to retort with
measures against the rebels. IL he is to
take measures he must find support IN
some party. and party he has none WIN
the socialists he is at feud. tire fidicais
themselves aim aI reducing his powers
and the center regards him douotfuliN
as a supposed foe OF Catholicism. ~ No
defies the conservatives and militarists he
must do SO without allies. That Is a
dangerous position. 1t is easier and safer
70 placate the conservatives at any cost
eat the leek and take their orders as to
the policy OF The empire. That Is what
has been done SO far and what was done
over Zabern 1t can be done also IN
fn,ure .becarse the democrats, despite
ttai. numbers are extremely weak and
frresolute. But it means that Wilhelm
IRIS so-ca.nd '.autocracy or half
autocracy'' has come to an end. It
means that the monarch who more
than any other made pretensions 10
divine right is unable to make his pre-
tensions good
,coryright 1914. by Curtis Brown
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-08

reactionaries The kaiser set his heart
on bringing Prussias medieval franchise
up to date. The Prussian cabinet, which
is appointed and dismissed solely by the
kaiser as King of Prussia, had to follow.
The kaiser regards the backwardness OF
Prussia's legislature, d result OF the an
ti1ue franchise, as serious peru TO I'M
perial unity. In two speeches from the
throne in 1905 and 1910 he declared his
will to modernize the franchise. and he
described this task the most pressing
problem of the day" Yet every attempt
to execute these promises has failed
against the opposition of the Prussian
conservatives.
In 1910 Chancellor Bethmann Hollweg
laid bill before the reichstag. The
democratic press and the government
emphasized the kaser's personal will that
1t should pass The diet. the real rul-
ers" the members call themselves. show
ed ironically their respect for the kaisers
will by turning the bill inside out Where
the bill provided secret ballot they put
in open ballot and where 1t provided di-
rect voting they put in indirect.
The conservatives in the upper house
further mutilated the bill, and amid
chorus of derision Bethnann- lio1lweS
had to withdraw the project. According
to a story old at the time, angry Wilhelm
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-08

Nv Nussbaumers is an oil wan or whether
it happened to him or to some wan else.
but anyhow it wint this way: Wanst
upon time there was a young fellow IN
Germany that was a colledge student an
he was busted, which is TIL same thing.
He was sittin' his thrunk in his bed
room in TIL back iv tn house, next to
TIL shingles, wondhrin ie he could raise
tn price Nv a se;del iv Pilsener be sellin
:: pome. ooh. says he to himsilf. wisht
] had five hundred dollars yet Fritz
Onagelt had no sooner made his wish
thin he heard voice at his elbow say:
What kind iv bills. place An. turnin'
round. he saw a fairy that had just
dhropped through TIL skylight without
breakin' tn glass; Good avenin'. ma am,
says TIL poor student. What can | do
FIR YEP says he. 4 hcerd ye'er wish.
says TIL fairy. AN I'm prepared to get it
FIR ye' says she. If ye do says Fritz,
TIL split it with ye.' says he. i don't
want no commission I'm not a broker.
I'm good fairy says tn visitor. stifhy.
An I don't want we're thanks. ayetheT.
/ don't like this business " raisin money
fr good-f r-nawthin fellows like We to
spind on dhrink. Me regular jooty is to
look afther little childher. but tn fairy
that has charge IL tn cash department is
up now coaxin' Andrew Carnegie to
make good "a wish ~ tn prisdint iv
colledge, an 1 was sint out to attind TO
ye'er-case.' she says. Wait here minyit
an I'll come back with tn soap. she
says. An she disappeared through the
keyhol.
I'm a little while she stepped out iv
TIL wall an dumped FIVE !iundhred dol
lars on TIL washstand. Here's ye'er
wish, an much good may it do ye. says
she. oh. thank We. says Fritz. an he
begun to count it over to see that she
hadn't held out on him. But at that min
yit an awful howl was heertl downstairs
A woman was yellin' Polls! Stop thief.
I'm rooned! I've been robb.dr What's
all that?' says Fritz. It's ye'er poor
landlady. says tn fairy. How l pity
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-08

an beyant hearin' We wanst or twicet
wish that Andrew Carnegie Wud choke
till he divided with We, ] niver see amy
signs that We Wild get amy more en-
ioyment out " attackin' a ricn man
thin stockholder In Il New England
railroad. IL coorse it's nachrai to heave
a brick al a stovepipe hat. but ye don't
heave ii AT tn man undher TIL hat, but
at TIL hat itsilf. y stovepipe hat is
challenge to brick. 1t cocks ttsilf de-
says: 1 .riprisint intelligence. varchue,
Industry an thrift. an that canbeen
~ ye'ers stands fr shiftlessness an m
dolence an sthrong dhrink. Tn sr-reat
halter. Nature. designed me to boss all
other bonnets, an i must accept tn re
sponsibility An thin comes tn brick.
A stovepipe hat ought ony to be seen
in public with other stovepipe hats.
Hate tn rich? Sire, we haven't got
TIL time, Mhin were wurruk!n were
too busy. an whin We've quit WurfuN
we're too tired to think about thin at
all Whin I've been alone in this place
an rnere was nawthin' else worth me
givin' me mind to, I've often thought
about money. An ] come 10 TIL con-
c!usion that a rich man is rich man
an a poor man is a poor man. an
neejun rich man IS a meejum rich man.
an that's all there is to it. Ye cud no
more make rich man out Nv ye'ersiif
thin We cud walk acrost TIL sthreet on
tight rope. Ye haven't got TIL brains
f'r it. Now don't get mad. / name We
haven't got tn kind ~ brains FIR it.
Ye may have betther kind. I'm not
sayin' We haven't. I'm not sayin' that
tn late A. Lincoln didn't have betther
1rain thin tn late r. Sage But it was
a diff rent kind. If ye'er noodle ism
accoordin' to tn right model yell do
no more good thryin to turn it into
machine FIR tn manufacturer " coin
thin We wud thryin' to shovel coal with
a paint brush. | have known NANNY
a rich man that read his prayer book
upside down an NANNY man that cud
tell We TIL names iv all tn stars in tn
sky an cudden't make change FIR
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-08

every day. Also the army tends to limit
the sovereign's authority
This prediction is today fulfilled. The
democrats have failed in their attempts
to control the kaiser's ministers and to
diminish the kaiser's executive power
The present reichstag, with LIBERAL
radical-socialist majority, has attenIted
and failed. But ihe Prussian conservsi-
tives the militarists and the army have
incl eased their influence. They are Ia X
ing the offensive all along the line. Their
citadel is the Prussian diet.
Just now the diet is making fierce
assault Upon democratic tendencies and
upon the reichstag. 1t is backed up by
the clique which is vaguely called the
crown princes party. The crown princes
party is not organized. but it exists. It's
chief fighting man is Herr Won Oldenburg
Of Januschau, an ex-guards officer, eX-
reichstag member and rich country gem
tleman, whose estate is not far from
DantZig, where the prince spent 1912 and
1913. 1t was Oldenburg who. four years
ago. rose in the reichstag and exclaimed:
THE kaiser could send a lieutenant and
a squad Of infantry and shut up this
parliament" Oldenburg is most init
mate friend of the crown prince. He is
a tough, resolute, reckless, ultra-reaction-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-08

her, says she. What is she whesp!n'
about says Fritz She's just discovered
that she's been robbed iv five hundred
dollars-her savin's f'r ten years Dye
name to say that ye got this money FIRM
that unforchnit woman" says Fritz.
Sure, | did, says tn good fairy. An
TIL on'y way We can get money is to take
it firm some wan?' says she. How III
blazes else cud l get it, says tn Sood
fairy. DO We think I'm goin' 20 make
governmint afther me f'r TIL rest ~ me
life? If I'd had time an ye wasn't in
so much iv a hurry, / wuddeI't hive
touched tn OF lady so hard. Dat wud've
spread yeer wish over enough people 50
no wan wudve felt it much says she.
An she melted away. Nussbaumer
didn't tell me what Fritz done about 1t.
Maybe he was good-natured enough to
return tn dough to tn landlady, an
maybe she was thankful enough not 10
complain on him to tn polls. An maybe
afther Fritz had kept conp'ny hing
enough with TIL money to feel that il was
his he put il in his pocket an walked
downstairs an said to TIL landlady: Me
good woman. We shud accustom yeersilf
to TIL station in life that nature intinded
f'r We. If We ARE poor. 1t is because ye
ar-re lazy an ignrant, f'r il must be
plain to we th't gr-reat wealth such as
mine is due entirely to superior intelii-
sence sobriety an thrift. Honest pow
erty is not to be despised. but is. How
liver, wealth has its responsibilities, winch
it cannot neglect, an seem ye'er disthi ess
is so great, / will write 20 tn S'ciety fr
Charity to sind somebody around with
lolsnette to look into ye'er case he says.
Here cabman, dhrive me 10 the Kaiser.
hof he SAYS.
..D'ye think man can make money an
be kind?" asked Mr.. Hennessy.
Sure, he can. said Mr.. Dooley; but
he'll have to have two sets ~ office
hours
Copyright 1914, by Finley Peter Dunne.)
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-08

don't hate him. Not you. Ye may not
aven considher TIL Justice iv his punish
ment. Ye just laugh. an TIL prouder he
is an tn sitter he walks tn funnyer he
falls. But beyart bein Soorce ~ in
nocint mefrymint. as TIL pote says. tn
throubles " TIL rich with TIL department
iv justice don, inthrest Us.
If was a milly onaire, which / wudve
been if kindly nature hadn't carved me
bean tn wrong way. tn la-ad I'd be
afraid iv wudGent be tn prcolytaryat
who might give me a lick with his shovil
if | bumped him OF TIL sthreet. No, sir,
TIL fellow that tn big rich man ought
TO be scared ~ Is tn little rich man. He's
tn la-ad that all tn laws are made r.
that give tn captain iv INDUSTRIES his
bumps. Ye can't tell him that TIL reason
he amt rich is because he amt rich. Ie
can't tell a retail grocer that nature
made him retail grocer. that whin tn
ordher came in f'r another retail grocer
nature wint 10 a shelf an picked him
out an STINT him into tn wurruld. No.
sir, tn little rich man thinks that tn
money tn big rich man has is his. lie
can pint out where a clumsy attempt has
been made to rub out his initials on ivry
dollar bill. He can identify parts iv his
own skin that come away with tn money
whin it was ture firm him BIO tn Standard
lie Company. He is ready to swear that
while waikiki down tn sthreet he met
Jawn Dough ladin' a dollar that wanst
was his. but disappeared wan dark an
stormy night. He says that tn little pet
barked with joy at SEEM him an thried
frantically to escape. but Jawn wudden't
let him. An he has Jawn UP In coort
an TIL judge decides that he must go to
Jail maybe some day. but he can keep tn
money.
They remind me iv a fairy story that
me frind Nussbaumer told me. TIL Ger
mans ar-re tn on'y people nowadays that
believes in fairies. That's why they are
continued to be Germans.
Il don't know whether this fairy story
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-08

haustion. Me friend firm Boston if he
had TIL gift iv language tn way I've
got it would put it this way:
Most people ar-re lazy an that's why
they're poor. ! can think iv no other
raisin at prisint EXCEPT they haven't got
I'll gumption ayether. Idleness an
poverty go hand in hand. | was sthrucn
with this while lookin out iv window
iv TIL Grand Palace Hotel an watchin
some dawdiin iron wurrukerS engaged
in putin up buildin FIR me | see wan
fellow ketchin red hot iron bolts in a
bucket instead iv with his hands, which
wudve been more eXpeedltyous. | OBJ
served that this happy idler quit his So
called employment al y sharp an did
not come back till nearly wan Also he
did not shin up to his job as fi-nanceer
wud if his bank was up there. but laZily
waited till he cud be histed thirty-five
stories on steel beam. ] am told that
nanny " this class put in some iv tn
best hours iv TIL night i'll sleep. It's tn
likes " them that listens to tn appeals
iv reckless agytators against tn rlcn.
Great fortunes ARE blessing to Tn
country. They're like reservoir that
nature has established FIR storing large
quantities iv TIL roly holy instead "
havin' it lyin' around in small puddles in
front iv ivrybodys durestep
The govermint PROTECTS tn forests
why shudden't it PROTECT gr-reat fortune
an keep people firm cuttin' into it? Take
me frind Jawn DIS large thracts iv coin
bearin' viggytation. much " it vargin
growth that has niver been touched be til
tax " tn INTRUDER Be rights tn gov
ern,int ought to make this a reservation
an give people tn privilege to picnic in
it, but not to carry anything away. MAY
be they might have a license to shoot
wan reformer each. in tn season. "
coorse it wud not be right to let thin go
further an kill off all tn reformers who
infest this splindd fortune an make 1t
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-08

Opposed by the Crown
Prince. Conservatives
and Militarists on One
Side and the Socialists
and Radicals on the
Other, He Is in a Sad
Predlcament = w hat
the Zabern Affair
Proves How the
Kaiser and His Chan
cellor Were Defeated
in the Prussian Diet.
The Crown Princes
Revolt.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-08

AIRY, quite incompetent in political ar
fairs. but cleverer than the crown prince.
whose incorrigib1e schoolboy attitude to
life amazes his friends.
I:
The so-called 'fronde" of Oldenburg, the
crown prince and the miitarists, processes
to be directed toward strengthening the
kaiser's power The kaiser. the rebels
make out is meanly surrendering powers
which are essential to strong monarchy
and. therefore, to national prosperity. In
reality the revolt is against the kaiser
personally. and the meek way in which
Wilhelm II is taking it justifies the con-
clusion that he no longer feels sure of
himself.
Wilhelm lis helplessness against the
army is as plain as his helpIessness
against the conservatives and civilian
mlitarsts The outcry here is save the
kaiser's 'command-power that is. his
special rights. independently of the legs-
lature. to control the Prussian army in
time of peace and the whole imperial
army in time of war The real rulers
that is the conservatiyeS-Spre the no
ton in the army that il is the democratic
reichstag which is filching the command
power" with the aim of creating par
liamentary army. In reality the real
rulers are setting the army in opposition
to the kaiser. The kaiser himself has al
ways been jealous of his command pow
err The complaint is even made that he
arrogates to himself more power than tine
constitution and the laws give him. that
he runs the army irresponsbly through
Gen Won Lyncker, chief of his military
cabinet.
This army autocracy exists onl: as long
as the army is commanded in reactionary
sense. When the kaiser shows progress
sive spirit. he is threatened with an army
revolt organized by the conservatives,
militarsts, crown prince, Olden burg, ia
gov and the whole of Prussian junker-
dom. He finds himself helpless. During
the height of the protest against the SEN
tence on Forstner- the conservative press
threatened army strike if kaiser and
chancellor did not have the sentence
voked Newspapers related how officers
were lamenting that they could not fight
efficiently in war if their coat was dis
honored by vulgar imprisonment, and how
famous military families which had
served Prussia for Two hundred years
would in future choose civil careers for
their sons.
Wilhelm ii seems to have been taken in
nv this bluff He imagined that after los
army and be left face to face with a,
anti-monarchical phalanx of radicals ard
social democrats. The conservatives.
with the army under their thumb. woald
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-08

revolution from the right. When he dares
to differ from the aristocratic Eilitarists
his views are ignored. his acts revoked;
and his authority is abjured and discred-
tied.
< =
One thing only remains of his autoc-
racy. That is his power to be growled
against. When things go wrong the same
Germans who dictate what he shall do
make him responsible. His position is
that of a wicked boy for other mems
sins. From the post of real guide and
pilot of the empire he has been ignomin-
iously dismissed.
This trend in German politics has long
been plain. The Zabern crisis has made
it palmer The affaire lZabern proved
nothing but series Of defeats for Will
helm II. From the first Wilhelm
held sane, anti-niitarist views. Anti
militarism has been the imperial tendency
for years past: the radical writer, Gneist,
declares that the whole spirit of our
militant press is repugnant to him, and
on this score the mlitarist press has for
years past beer firing off yelled re-
proaches.
1t was the kaiser who first took steps
TO remedy the Zabern mudde While
Bethmann- Hollweg. frightened by the
re.chstag outburst and doubtly frightened
by the reactionaries, hestitated the kaiser
ordered Gen. Won Deimling to keep his
soldiers within the limits of the law, sent
a concilatory general to Zabern to res
tore peace, and ordered that the guilty
officers be court-mart;aled at once. His
view was that the officers must be pun
ished. AS a result OF the kaiser's action
Lieut.. Forstner was sentenced to forty
three DAYS in Jail. Then came develop
Inents which proved that Wilhelm
II has no power to direct events.
The conservatives and jingoes broke out
into open revolt: next came the demon
stration of Berlins police president,
Jagow. and the crown prince, and these
outbreaks took a distinct anti-kaiser
color. The kaiser was accused of weak
ness III face of the rechstag demo-
Gratis. All sorts of vague threats We're
ton was in full course. Wilhelm
IL precipitately gave way. The
second trials OF the Zabern offenders
were held In the opposite atmosphere
from the first 1t was decided to acquit
Forstner's conviction was quashed and
the other officers went free The kaiser 8
policy of reconcling the democrats, and
restoring the domination of law, was
foiled.
Zabern shove that the kaiser's "autoc-
racy'' really exists only as long as
Wilhelm II Jets himself meekly be run
by conservatives and militarists.
The history of the Prussian franchise
reform. issue even more important
than Zabern shows similarly that the
kaiser has lost all political power except
when he exercises it at the will OF the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-08

W ] I. II t. /. NJ II
is Europe's helpless
man. He cannot
do what he likes.
Other Germans. ex-
cept at Zabern. are
free in a modest
way 10 run their
own affairs. but
W / ! h e ! m II has
lost that privilege.
The trend of poll
tics IS against his
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-08
THE. GERMAN WAR LORD.
IL said to have been shorn Of powers.

sufficient proof that Wilhelm II has not
the stomach to try second fall with
the all-powerful conservatives.
Wilhelm II has lost his autocratic
power precisely in the way that was pre-
dicted by Bismarck's factotum, I.othar
Butcher. Butcher declared that "a Prus-
sian sovereign is always secure against
democratic attempts to steal his pre-
negatives, because while our democracy
grows in numbers it does not grow in
strength The real purloiners of the
kaiser's and kings powers are the con-
seryatives,. who grow more powerful
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-08

auarther without robbin himself Most
business is buyin' something firm some
body f'r less thin We Link it's worth an
sellin it 10 somebody else FIR more thin
We think it's worth. To make TIL deal
complete there must be sucker at each
end. With tn likes " rs tn sucker
is always In tn middle.
Hate tn rich. Divvle d bit. may
hwy thin But there's lots IL people
besides that | hwy. l hwy Joe Tinker
because he's betther snortstop thin
] am But I don't nate him. l might
If he previnted me sym playin' me little
game IL Wen-ol-cat il vacant lot.
An SO I might hate fellow if ] saw
him Imply me cash registher in ms
pocket, give me lecture on me thrift
less habits. tn boniness ~ me head an
TIL wickedness IN me life. an go out
bankin' TIL dufe behind him. But If
he'll only have me alone to comfort me-
silf with tn thought that tn throuble
with me is that in tn rattle | dhrew
head diff rent firm his, I'll let him alone
Listen to reckless agytators? Ye bet
do | listen to hand-organs. too. Does
the gintleman in Boston want 10 cut me
off firm me harmless amusements'
listen to TIL reckless agytators an tn
organ grinder with IN same injyement
bur nayether is thin make a monkey
iv me.
= Us lisht-hearted fellows injye tn
persecut;n' iv' tn rich says he. " coorse
We do. Ar why not: It's a nachral
kind ~ poplar amusement. Whin a rich
man is STINT to Jail tn news is read with
pleasure not because amy wan hates I'll
poor crarher We laugh whin ye see a
fellow with nigh hat on his head an a
dimon in his shirt front prancin' along
tn sthreet whistlin' a waltz an steppin
on a piece iv ice an goin up in tn air
an comm down on top il his impeeryous
tile with wan gaiter pinted east be south
an tn other north be west. But We
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-08

inthrestif to nachraiiStS. an SPECIAL care
Shud be taken not to desthroy tn philan-
thropists who live there an ARE quite
tame an harmless an consume on IN
small vigsytation. An tn prsdint Wud
be well advised ii he appinted Jawn D.
head forester AS a private individJooi ne
has done pretty well in protectin' tn
property. but he might be aven more
useful if he was sovermint officer with
a sootable salary an had tn right TO
shoot interlopers. he says.
AN there We are | will scorn til rich
no longer. viii blend me tears with
theirs over tn tyrannical income tax
blank an whin me congressman IN
throjooces a bill to cut down III tariff on
overshoes | will raise me hand an cry:
Have We no pity Bat IL coorse. If US
two philanthropists are goin' to get tn
wurruld back to this hail-fellow- we'll
met basis TIL rich must do their share
They must not indulge their hwy iv tn
Door They must not be too sinsitive TO
III scorn IL tn penniless or take their
own condition too much to heart IL
don't do amy good f'r thin in their ipl-
patience to turn arnychists an threaten
to stop maxim money onless We quit per-
secutin thin. Let thin ralize their i'm
portance in savin' us firm tn throuble "
gatherin' TIL gilt so that we can Spind
all our time at frivolous jobs as plumb
ers. bricklayers. an tn like. Let thin
say with tn Scotch dilect pote that Ho-
gan knows:
is there FIR honest opyience vino hangs his
head an Il that:
Tn COW I'd slave l pass him by. dare he rich
fr a that.
FIR a that. an a that. their oyeralls an a
that III shovirs but tn ideis stamp
We've got tn stun rr a that.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-08

ii exclaimed: "Oh. that the sixties were
backr' Meaning that he sighed for the
DAYS when Bismarck boldly defied ana
triumphed over the diet
Since then four years have passed, and
kaiser and chancellor have not found
courage to bring in a fresh bill. The
kaiser's promise remains, and every diet
session the democrats acidly call atten-
ton to it. They get vague answers