The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1914-11-30
All CHURCH
And the Story He Related to Robert
j. Burdette, the Humorist
Preacher.

day, TO indianapolis. | did not see
the famous cedars, and | supposed
they had been used up for lead pen
ellis and moth-proof chests, and rel
les and souvenirs; for Lebanon is
right in the heart of the holy land.
That part OF Indiana was settled by
Second Adventists, and they had
sprinkled godly names all over their
heritage. AS the train elattered
along, stopping at every station to
trade off people who were tired of
travelling for some other people who
were tired of staying at home, | got
out my writing pad. pointed a pencil.
and wondered what manne of break
fast / would be able to serve for the
every hungry Hawkeye next morning.
was beginning to think ! would
have to disguise some left overs
under a new name, as the thrifty
housekeeper knows how to do, when
my colleague, my faithful yoke-fel-
low, who has many a time found for
me a spring of water in the desert
place-the brrakeman-came down
the aisle of the car. He glanced at
the tablet and pencil as | would loo
at his lantern, put my right hand in
TO a compress hal abode with my
fingers for ten minutes after he went
away, and seating himself easily on
the arm OF the seat, put the sema-
phore all right for M by saying:
Say, | went to church yesterday. =
Good boy" / said; and what
church did you attend?'
Guess" was his reply.
Some union mission chapel L
ventured.
"N-no," he said, II don't care to
run on these branch roads very
much. / don't get a chance to go to
church every Sunday. and when | can
go like to run on the main line.
where your trip is regular and you
make schedule time and don have
to wait on connections. don't care
to run on a branch. Good enough. |
reckon. but | don't like it,
"~Episcopal?" I guessed.
Limited express" he said. "all
parlor cars, vestibuled and two dol
lars extra for a seat; fast time, and
only stop at the big stations. Ele-
giant line, but too rich for a brake
man. All the trainmen in uniform;
conductors punch and lanterns silver
plated: train boys fenced up by
themselves and not allowed TO offer
anything but music. Passengers talk
back at the conductor. Trips SEIZED
uled through the whole year. so when
lyou get aboard you know just where
You're going and how long it will
take you. Most systematic road In
the country and has a mighty nice
class of travel. Never hear of a re-
~lceiver appointed on that line. But !
didn't ride in the parlor car yester-
day"
"Universalist?" I suggested.
Broad gauge" the brakeman
l%chuckled; does too much complf-
m~entary business to be prosperous,
Everybody travels on a pass. Con
auctor doesn't get a cash fare n C
in fifty miles. Stops at all way sta
Itions and won't run into anything
but a union depot. No smoking car
allowed on the train because the com
pany doesn't own enough birthstone
to head a match. Train orders are
rather vague, though; and I've no.
| ticed the trainmen don't get along
very well with the passengers. NO
didn't 60 on the broad gauge,
though I have some good friends on
that road who are the best people in
the world. Been running on it all
their lives"
presbyterian" limited.
Marrow gauge, eh?" said the
Ibreakmen; pretty track; straight as
La rule; tunnel right through the
heart of a mountain rather than go
around it; spirit level grade; strict
rules, too; passengers have to show
their tickets before they get on the
train; ears a little bit narrow for
sleepers; have to sit n in a seat
land no room in the aisle to dance.
INo stopover tickets allowed: passen-
ger must go straight through to the
station he's ticketed for or stay of
the car. When the cars full, gates are
shut: cars built at the shops to hold
Just so many and no more allowed
on. That road is run right up to the
rules and you don't often hear of an
accident on ii. Had a head-on col
lision at Schenectady union station
and ran over a weak bridge at Gin
| einnati not many years ago, but no
body hurt and no passengers lost.
|Great road"
Maybe you TOut Win tHc NShoS
Itics?" l tried.
Scrub road" he said, dirt road
bed and no ballast; no time card and
no train dispatcher. All trains run
wild and every engineer makes his
own time, just as he pleases. A sort
of 'smoke-if-you-want-to' road. Toe
many sidetracks; every switch wide
open all the time; switchmen sound
asleep and the target lamp dead out
Get on where you please and get of
when you want. Don't have to show
Your tickets and the conductor has
no authority to collect fare. No sir;
was offered a pass. but | don't like
the line. don't are to travel ver
a road that has no terminus.
do you know. I asked a division
superintendent where his road run
to. and he said he hoped to die il he
knew. asked him if the general
superintendent could tell me, and he
said he didn't believe they had a gen
eral superintendent. and If they had,
he didn't know n more about the
road than the passengers did. / ask
ed him who he reported to. and he
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