South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-07-16
STATESMEN
REAL AND NEAR

WASHINGTON, July 16.-Rep.
Caraway Of Arkansas once bought
himself a second hand automobile.
When the proposition was up recently
to sell a couple of battleships TO
Greece. Caraway blinked wisely and
made comment as follows:
IF / were a country / don't know
whether I'd want to get me a second
hand battleship or not. Before l paid
over my money I'd have some good
mechanic go all over 'er thoroughly
and make sure she'd run"
Rep. Frank 7. O'Hair, a year or so
before he beat Joe Cannon for con-
gress, made a leisurely trip abroad.
While crossing the English channel
on his way from Paris TO London he
overheard an Irishman telling about
a man named Frank O'Hair who lived
near Belfast. Just for the sentiment
of the thing. O'Hair made up his
mind to go there in the course of his
travels and get acquainted with the
other Frank O'Hair. He made in
quiry at Belfast and found that the
home of Frank O'Hair was within
walking distance. So on foot and
without guide Frank O'Hair went
along the Irish highway seeking
were beautiful big estates with ma
cadam drives, sunken gardens and
things.
"Oh no." reflected OHair, "I'll get
acquainted with my cousin Frank and
Wen sit on a terrace back of his villa
tonight looking at his swans in an
Italian pool"
With these thoughts to spur him on
he quickened his pace and inquired of
the next man he met how much fur
Their it was to the home of Frank
O'Hair. The man told him it was
Just over the next hill.
Now at the top of tho next hill the
big estates ceased as suddenly as II
they had been barred by law over a
certain line From there on instead
of costly villas were pathetic little
shanties Frank O'Hair stopped at
| the smallest of these to inquire for
the place of Frank O'Hair. A comely
! little girl came TO the door. She said
she was Mrs Frank OHair and that
\ her husband had gone to market to
! sell his calf. Learning that her caller
was Frank O'Hair, the pretty house
wife inquired:
(Which branch of the family do
/ you belong TO p
Il really don't know" replied
/ O'Hair. I'm fact I didn't even know
| there were two branches"
!
/ earnestly. "One branch has money
and the other hasn't"
Then" said the visiting O'Hair
Were even more closely related than
l thought"
/ Being an aid to one president after
I another is a peculiar job. 1t used
/ to be said of the late Archibald Butt
who served as an aid to both Roose-
Welt and Taft, that he was equally
( loyal to both men, and this was true
\ even after the break came between
/ T r. and Taft When Capt. Butt
was drowned, DR.. Rhodes was APP
pointed aid to Taft and the two be-
I came extremely intimate. Then Taft
went out of office and Rhodes stayed
on as an aid 10 Wilson. Regardless
/ Of the great intimacy that had grown
I'D between Taft and Rhodes, they
/ did not exchange letters after Taft
/ left office Rhodes job was such that
! il did not seem the thing to do. 1t
struck him that it would be almost
/ like a grass widow remarrying and
keeping in friendly correspondence
with her former husband.
Sen. John W. Kern found himself
at a Washington hotel table the other
day with a couple of women who
were newcomers at the nations CAPT.
and the talk turned to politics
You're in congress- asked one OF
the women.
Yes" confessed the senator, and
in replay TO further questioning he
told them his name was Kern.
We've probably heard ii before,
said one of the women politely Are
Won a republican or democrat?"
Democrat" owned up Kern
Have you always voted for
Brvan?" still further inquired one
woman. who seemed 10 have a great
interest in politics.
Kern couldn't wriggle out Of 1t, so
he made a clean breast of having
voted for Bryan.
"Oh. now, why are you Bryan
mani" asked the woman. My hus-
bands a democrat but he never
voted for Bryan"
Well" spared Kern, the first
time Bryan ran 1 had 10 vote for him
because I was on the ticket with him,
and after that 1 suppose 1 just had
the habit"
What office were you on the ticket
for >" asked the woman. eagerly.
New Kern didn't purpose 10 let her
T know that he was on the ticket as
candidate for vice president. He felt
E that inasmuch as she was almost an
/ entire stranger he had laid bare his
soul enough already. So he replied:
"Oh. l was on in a minor capacity"
and let il go at that
Copyright. 1914. BY Fred 6. kelly.)