The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-11-20
scollard.

-oo~s~-.o~~>~-oc-~
Besides, I am far too modest to boast
Of myself.
So had Gwendolyn read compo
sition on "The First Thanksgiving" in
which she told all about the hard
ships Of the poor Pilgrims who came
over in the Maybell with Lord Balti
more to Plymouth, and how they sat
down to their first Thanksgiving din
ner of hominy and Goldfish balls, and
gave thanks because they hadn't been
scalped or burned as witches
Then Wood had her bind every state
in the Union and tell what time it Is
in the Scandalous peninsula when il
is six o'clock here. Then she showed
all Of her beautiful sketches and
played several duets on the piano She
is Mr.. Boguslatchkey's favorite pupil
and he often tells me that she will be
perfect tyro when she grows up
Just then, the "tocsin Of the soul, the
dinner bell" rang and we had tc
evade the rest Of the program. was
glad, too, because the Bolivards looked
awfully bored when Woods sister
asked Harold to recite-my, my, how
she does love to show him Off
We had a lovely meal Nora Ger
tainly is fine cook, even II she is
Irish. | had her mix the mincemeat
with strong tea and cane pepper in
stead. of wicked things like cider and
brandy, and the pies we're delicious
Everything was. Nora hasn't quit
talking about her fine cooking that
day yet That's one trouble with the
Irish, they are SO boastful! ] firmly
believe II Is the reason that Julius
Caesar, when he conquered Ireland
christened 1t "Erin-go-Brag," don't
you?
Beg pardon? Well, the dinner had
passed off beautifully. Wood had kept
the table in roar--you know what
delightful bon mot he island had
carved the turkey just like surgeon.
But first must tell you about Harold,
The little wretch, instead OF peeling
his banana into strips and laying them
carefully on the table like Gwendolyn
turned his skin back and, after eating
the fruit out of 1t in two bites, threw
1t under the table. He said afterwards
1t slipped off his plate. At any rate II
fell right at Woods feet.
Poor Wood! He had on some new
shoes without any heels-he didn't
want to buy them In the first place,
but l begged him to, because I love
him to be the observed of all observ'
ers and have a moldy form, as my be.
loved Shakespeare would say-and he
wasn't used to them, SO that when he
got up to leave the table he slipped
on the peel.
Ours Is an extension table with ball
gearing rollers, and when he grasped
the edge of 1t to save himself from
falling, alas. alas, 1t parted in the
middle and all the combustibles Of the
dinner were participated onto the
uOOI anu WOou Itlt UdChWdIuS vi w
of his chair with the most violent EN-.
phasis.
Poor boy! He had been telling
baseball story and had been using such
shocking paraphrases as damned the
cushion" "swatted the sphere" "clat
tered across the pan" and "dented the
platter" Don't you think 1T was a
dreadful coincidence that just as he
said platter" down went the turkey?
Oh, dear! just can't help but feel
someway that perhaps the whole thing
was nemesis on him for using such
dreadful, undeiiled slang.
Well, he paid dearly for 1t. poor
fellow! I'm afraid 1t will be weeks
before his solar system will be entire
ly renovated. When we disinterred
him that day we found that his paral
lax was dreadfully bruised, and that
he had severe attack Of nostalgia
declare I thought his dear nose
would never, never stop bleeding!
Yes. we all partook Of some injury
Mrs. Bolivard hasn't spoken to me
since because her new scrape-de-shin
skirt was ruined; that Is, all but Har-
old and his mother. 1t seems like the
very ironing Of fate that they were
the only ones present who escaped
from damage, don't you think SO?