Evening star., 1914-12-13

Secretary of State. finally having
utilized the proceeds of his latest
Chautauqua tour to purchase all the
swords available and turn them into
plowshares, as BELTS a candidate for
the Nobel prize. we have arranged to
present these shares to the representa-
tives of big business present in the
hall as a symbol of the peace that has
been made between Washington and
big business"
Thereupon Mr.. ]. Pierpont Morgan.
Mr.. George W. Perkins and a number
of other distinguished representatives
of the higher financial interests were
called upon to stand up and be pre-
sented with a plowshare of peace.
T. R. Sings Goodbye.
A few notes on the piano from the
deft fingers of Henry Xander attracted
the attention of the company to a fig
ure standing in the center of the hall
There was something very familiar
about him. recalling to the regular
boarders of the club scenes and per-
sonages of long ago.
Yes. you are right: it was the COL
onel. 1T R." himself, but somewhat
changed. He sang a mournful ditty, the
chorus of which ran like this:
I'm on the way to Oyster Bay,
Beneath my sheltering roof I've got to stay.
! sing song
OF t.ings gone wrong,
On the last election day.
I'm no longer trusted.
They have got me fustered,
And the big sticks busted.
That's why I'm on my way to Oyster Bay,
I've come to say goodbye
U. S. Marching Song.
barred from the navy the singing Of
| : h
English troops in France and Belgium
the Gridiron Club did not hesitate to
adapt the air to ends of it's own. This
committee brought it out:
It's long way for Charlie Whitman.
He's long way to go:
It's long way for Charlie Whitman,
To be President, you know
fg5aps he eDs get 1ner e has Started
For he may go wrong.
It's long way for Woodrow Wilson,
It's long way to go;
It's long way for Woodrow Wilson,
For another term, you know;
What Will be the outcome remains to be seen:
It's a long, long way for Woodrow Wilson,
I'll nineteen sixteen.
Reserve Bank Board.
The Gridiron Clubs idea of a meeting
of the federal reserve board was pre-
sented in satirical manner. Secretary
McAdoo, Controller of the Currency
Williams and Messrs. Delano, Warburg,
Hamlin and Harding were represented
as engaging in a typically harmonious
session of the reserve board. which
caused much merriment among the
officials who were present as guests of
the club.
A touch of sentiment was added to
the evenings entertainment when
Na1l Il
IL. Boynton to stand up and let the
older Gridironers gaze upon the grand
son OF one Of the best beloved members
OF the club. Col. Charles A. Boynton,
VINO IS still living and is as keenly in
terested in the club as ever.
Since the last dinner three members
of the club have crossed over the border
OF the great unknown. In the midst
OF the dinner the lights were extin-
guished and the portraits of the absent
ones were thrown upon screen.
while Louis A. Coolidge paid appropri-
ate tribute to the memory of William
S. Couch, P. V. De Graw and H Con-
quest Clarke. Their portraits dis
quartet brought the company back to
the stirring air of oh, Hear Dem
Bells!"
Parody on the Club.
An entertaining skit of the evening" g
entertainment was a parody upon the
Gridiron Club itself. 1t represented
members of the entertainment commit
tee giving an Imitation of a rehearsal
of play in which the cabinet of the
Presiuent were to be presented. The
committeeman tried to make 1t true to
lie by lnterlarding among the lines
supposed to constitute the piece their
own comments and chickering's that oc-
cur In real rehearsal of a GrIdiron
stunt. 1t was a look behind the scenes
for the guests, and they seemed to en-
joy it.
Blue Paper Souvenir.
The souvenir of the dinner was a vol
ume entitled the Blue Paper" pur-
porting to be certain correspondence
relating to the preliminaries of the
late political campaign preceding the
election of November B. Here are some
| of the extracts from the alleged ex-
change of notes:
Palmer to Burleson-"Penrose and
Pinchot spending money like drunken
sailors. can you tap Col House?'
| Pinchot to Roosevelt "Penrose
| spending money like drunken sailor,
| Can you tap Perkins,"
Perkins. He sounds empty"
Burleson to Palmer-"Have tapped
| House. Nothing doing"
Bryan to Gerard-"A cable from you
| transmitting large campaign contribu-
| ton will not necessarily be construed
as an infraction of rules of diplomatic
propriety."
| GIynn to McAdoo-"I see double
| crosses in all directions. How about
help?"
Gerard to Bryan-'Thanks for op-
! portunity to contribute to glorious
| cause. Have cabled funds to McAdoo
to be spent exclusively in my behalf"
McAdoo to Glynn-"Gerard has just
sent funds for his campaign. and I am
sending you some. Count one double
cross for yourself"
Cannon to Longworth-"Things look
better. Roosevelt has just been speak
ing against me-"
Gov. Walsh to Attorney General Greg
ory-"What do you mean by prosecut-
ing New Haven at this time? 1t will
mean loss of Massachusetts,"
Attorney General Gregory to Gov.
Walsh-"Mistake was made by my Of
flee boy. 1 meant to prosecute beet
sugar growers Of louisiana"
O'Gorman to Roosevelt-"How do you
keep a son -in-la from grabbing all the
family limelight? Rush recipe"
r r. to OGorman-"Stay out of the
Senate and send your son-in-law to
Congress-"
Fojrhanl,s to Root latter electfon)-