The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-12

|
the hither side. Some beautiful foot
races have been staged between Mike
and pedestrians and Mike usually
| crosses the vertex of the angle a cou-
| pie of jumps to the good. Then is
when he gets his daily cussing and the
pedestrian goes his way with the firm
conviction that disaster will befall him
| before night.
The hesitancy Of the State Temper
ance union to hook its little hose cart
| on behind the big water wagon of the
| Anti-Saloon league was due, SO rumor
hath 1t, to doubt as to whether the
| S. T. U. would get free ride or lose
| its wagon.
1t is generally suspected that the
next crop of novels will be written
around the European war. so we may
| look forward with more or less conf
dence to string of titles such as:
'"The Pretty Prune Picker of Pre-
mysl,'' 1.-The Countess of Cmpwf."
| s"The Soused Soldier of Shrdlu," ct
cetera, ct cetera-
Mrs Ella Flagg Young now draws
a salary of $4,000 per year as super
intendent of Chicago schools. but
nearly any school teacher will admit
that she earns 1t.
Hondo Murphy favors printing war
news under the general head Of Real
estate Transfers." He observes that
| the Germans get possession OF a place
one day, lose it the next and get it
back again the next, so on. ad infini-
tum.
Hon. Warden Dyche desires to soak
adult fishermen one bone each for the
| privilege of feeding angleworms to
the Kansas mudturtles. but holds that
small boys should not be taxed. AS
| the small boys are about the only ones
| who catch anything but pneumonia.
it is hard to see how his proposition
will be of any protection to either the
angleworm or the turtle.
Some people change their minds SO
often they wear 'em out.
Nearly any boy believes that the
only reason his father didn't whale
| the tar out of Goliath was because he
didn't live in the right period.
When the average man asks for for
! giveness it means that he has already
| forgiven himself.
The report that Kaiser Willum had
sore throat, says Jack Supp, is not
surprising, as German cuss words are
| awfully rough.
Pups and kittens get their eyes
open in nine days, but some people
| never do.
| Outside of administration circles,
where waitful watching is still consid
| cred the proper thing, there is a grow
| ing belief that the Mexican scrappers
should be armed with brickbats in
stead of firearms.
The report that Mr.. Capper will
not can all appointive state employees
early in January comes as a severe
shock to about a thousand eager pa
| triots. but they have until early in
January to show him where he is
wrong It's safe bet, Ermyntrude,
that while his threat to leave Demo-
Gratis on the job may. for moment,
stem the tide Of askers, it will but re-
| suit in a flood of missionaries eager to
show him his mistake.
| 1t is too bad. says Hondo Murphy.
that. if the Edison plant had to burn.
1t was not before the old man invented
the perpetual motion machine known
as the electric meter.
Half a truth is a dangsight worse
than a whole lie.
A man needs all the sense he was
born with to offset the fooiishness he
picks up.
A neighbours dog fs never SO UNI
welcome as when he calls after dark
and spreads the contents of q swim
pail all over the back yard.