The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1914-01-09
Married Life
the Third Year
~ MABEL HERBERT URNER.

DY MABEL HERBERT URNER.
Dear Helen:
-, am much worried at your last let
ter, | hardly know how to advise you.
AS you know, have never wanted to
interfere in any way between you and
your husband or his people. And there
are some problems that every wife
must work out for herself?
About his mother | hesitate to
speak. I can understand your resent
ment at the letter she wrote Warren,
but | am sure, dear that you were
wise in your attitude towards her the
day she called. Whatever she might
have said. was it quite polite for you
to retaliate as you did?
know she goaded you into it, and
it does seem that you should be free
to rent your spare room if you wish.
But it couldn't help matters for you to
say you didn't think 1t concerned her,
and that the only interest she has ev-
er shown had been to criticise.
OF course, she exaggerated when she
wrote Warren you were lnsolent to
her. but, STILL as she was calling at
your home, hardly think you should
have said anything at that time.
know you feel you have taken
great deal and have said very little,
and that ever since your marriage his
people have treated you with more or
less discourtesy. But would it have
helped any for you to be discourteous,
too At least. you have gotten along
for these two years without an open
break and it seems time it would be
better if YOU could avoid any just
now.
After all, your life is not lived with
his people. You see them only occa-
sionally And whatever your plans for
the future it will not make them any
easier to antagoniZe his mother.
You write that you feel you cannot
go on as things are now. That your de-
pendence on Warren is becoming
more and more intolerable and thar
you must find some way of making at
least part of your own expenses. Hell
en- | don't know what to say about
this.
| have wanted to talk it over with
your father, but have hestated to do
so, for you know how bitter he al
ready is toward Warren. And I am
sure he would insist on your coming
home However little we have you are
always welcome to shar it. But yon
say you will never do this.
And yet I wonder, if you realize
how hard it is for any woman of your
partially so Even if you were wholly
free it would be most difficult. But
with Wnifred have you thought Of
what a handicap she would be? You
would never want to be separated
from her, and vet that is what almost
any work YOU might take up would
mean
You write that many women whose
husbands have died and who have had
no more training for breadwinning
than you. support themselves and
children. That is true. and were you
forced to do it, You probably could.
But | cannot bear to think Of your fac
ing the hardships, anXieties and hui
initiation that must surely come when
a delicate woman who has always
been sheltered faces the world alone.
You ask me what Sally Hewitt did
after her husband was killed on the
railroad. | don't know what she took
up at first, but now she is in Chicago
working for some fashion publication
doing designing of some kind. But.
of course, she always had knack at
wing-which you have not.
How | wish you had kept up your
music. for feel you have a talent for
that. But I suppose in New York it
would be useless for any one with only
a moderate training to try to give les
sons. You speak Of shorthand and as
if I think you could learn that. l know
so little about it, Helen. but even if
you did learn--is not the pay very
small? And are there not many appli-
cants for every position
And this work would take you out
in the business world. You would prob
ably have to be in some lawyers Of
fee or brokers office, and | know how
hard that would be for you. Don't
think I'm trying 10 weaken you if you
are convinced that your happiness
lies in being independent. But ] want
YOU to realize more fully some Of the
difficulties.
At least don't do anything radical
until Warren returns Perhaps if he is
successful in his business deal out
West things may be better A man is
always more irritable when he is en-
gagged in any enterprise that is uncer-
tain. It is hard TO wait for develop
ments. And ! suppose that is what he
is having to do. SO, dear, of you can
be patient a little longer and try to
think the future holds some happier
solution than for you to have to work
outside your home.
About Mrs Morrison, your roomer
I hardly know what to advise you. 1t
does seem a little unreasonable thar
you should not be free to rent the
spare room while Warren is away
And yet. since both he and his people
are so against It, 7 am not sure that
you are wise in keeping her.
After all. it can only be few weeks
until Warren returns, and is it worth
going against his wishes to keep her
for that short time?
Helen, as l grow older | think