The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1914-11-25

thing In him which even his parents
did not see, and he could not bear
the thought that the man who had
trusted him and believed in him
should think that he had gone wrong.
When you have obtained a boys
confidence and affection, when he feels
that you have a real interest in him,
and that you believe that there is
something in him, you have a tremen-
dous hold upon him.
The head Of a Chicago business
house has a large number Of boys
under him. For years he has felt a
kindly interest in these boys, taking
particular pains to notice them, to
watch their work, to praise them
when they do well, to correct them
gently when they fail, and to mani
fest in general a kindly interest in
their affairs. ' He says the results
have been marvellous and that the
boys have shown wonderful develop
ment under the influence Of his ap-
probation and praise.
This man told me that he corrects
the habits Of his boys without their
realizing the influence he brings to
bear on them. He enters their sports,
plays ball with them, and by his ex-
ample makes them feel ashamed OF
doing things that are ~unbecoming to
gentlemen.
Children are especially susceptible
to praise. A boy will work harder to
get the appreciation Of those who
trust him and believe in him than for
almost anything else. Nothing ex-
cept blame will 80 dampen his en-
thusiasm as the lack of recognition
of good work or failure to appreciate
his attempts to please.
know a mother who reared her
children upon the plan Of praise. She
never missed an opportunity to COM
mend them for doing well, or to show
appreciation Of their efforts to do
right. This, she says, has had in
initely more influence for good than
perpetual seedlings. "Donts" harm,
discourage and dwarf more children
than almost anything else.
Many a child has been nagged,
bullied, scolded, for every little fault
or mistake, until it became discour-
aged, when a little timely praise and
commentator would have worked
wonders in getting the best out OF 1t.
Highly organized, sensitive children,
have often been seriously injured. or
their characters even ruined, by the
harsh methods Of those who do not
understand the child nature and who
scold and nag and bully them into
obedience. Such children become sui
len, obstinate and irresponsible.
The greatest thing in the rearing
and education Of a child is to de-
Yelop his natural, normal self-ex'
preston. The youthful mind longs
for activity; the pent-up forces with
in are struggling to express them
selves; but If s~pontaneity Is repeat
eddy crushed out, If the child's express
sion Is constantly %repressed with
don't do this" and don't do that"
the ambition may be ruined, the pow.
er Of self-expression lost, 80 that the
best In the child may never be devel'
oped.
When a child does not show en-
| thusiasm in study, in work, there is
something wrong. for enthusiasm and
bubbling buoyancy r as natural to
child life as song to the bobolink.
Spontaneity Is absolutely neces,
cary to originality-yet the buoyancy,
the enthusiasm, Of many a youth La
absolutely crushed before majority is
reached, because of constant repres.
sion. '. .
The chief duty Of the father Is not
only to feed and clothe his son and
get all possible work out Of him un
til he is twenty-one, but he Is bound
to watch with tender care the mental
unfoldings, the aspirations, the bent
planted by the Creator himself in the
breast of the child. 1t is a great mis-
fortune that so many parents feel an
ownership in a child. They look upon
him as q sort Of chattel instead OF a
sacred gift, which they have received
in trust, for which they assume re,
sponsibility, and enter into an implied
agreement to care for mind as well az
body: to guard, guide and rear with
the tenderest care and greatest solici
tude.
It is a fathers duty not to try to
bend the human sprout to suit his
notions, but to watch the tendency OF
the child; to encourage, not stife. his
natural bent.
Every father should regard the
child as a sacred trust, bringing with
him into the world a sealed message
which he is bound to deliver like a
man and a hero. This sealed message
within him is sacred; 1t is not even
for the father to read. But it is the
parents duty to prepare his child to
deliver the message he brings. to belp
him to live up to his ideals.