Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1914-06-05
The Grand Promoter
A Stranger Plays Him a Low
Down Trick
By Nj. QUAD
By NJ QUAD


"Come right I'M"
sim looking for the Major Crofoot
that has all sorts Of good things to in
west in." said the caller.
.sThen you have come to the right
place. Have a chair"
"Thanks. Now, then, / don't wish
ito take up your valuable time. Have
you got anything good on hand? l
want something perfectly safe that
Twill return 9.or 10 per cent on the
money"
"My dear sir, 1 have got half a dozen
of the best things going. When you
speak of 8 or 10 per cent dividends it
makes me smile. / don't deal in such
small fish. Anything l take hold of
must pay 80 per cent or | drop It."
Good Lordr' calculated the caller as
he sat up.
Thirty per cent at least, sir. What
would you say to stocks paying dollar
for dollar?"
.But I'm willing to take 40 per
cent replied the man. "Gee whiz,
hut what man can ask for 0 than
Ithat?"
every fair, very fair" loftily replied
the major, but nothing to brag of.
being you have come direct to the Of
Ehce / want to pick put something ex-
ira. Let me see. The Universal Glass
Eye company paid 90 per cent divi-
dends two years ago, but last year
dropped down to 80. It will be still
less than that this year on account Of
hard times. Lots of one eyed people
stick a patch over the eye and let 1t
go at that. If you'd come in a month
ago l could have let you in on the
ground floor Of the Magic Rat and
Mouse Destroyer. The stock went like
fwildhre, and the last was sold at 5000.
I'VE figure 1t win pay 400 per cent div
idends for the next twenty years"
"And I can't get in. Thunder. but
why didn't / know about it. But you
must have something for me-" insisted
the caller in anxious tones.
"Let me see! Let me seei How alb
sentminded | am this morning. Just
as you knocked / was making up the
incorporation papers for my last and
best scheme. It's one thatll lay owe
all others. l was saving 1t to begin
the year on"
Good, good. What is it? By
George, old fellow, If you put me on to
something good you shan't lose by itp'
"You know what delicacies turtle
sour and turtle steak are considered?'
81 do"
"And you know the high price frogs
legs bring?'
Eyes"
"Well, that's the basis Of the Great
Western company, just organized. We
are going to rent nine square miles Of
Lake st. Clair fats and raise our frogs
and turtles and can them on the spot.
They will be canned in champagne,
and the labels on the cans will be
handsome enough to frame and hang
An any ones parior. Three turtle
steaks and two dozen frogs legs every
can. Killing and canning take place
every day. We shall control the mar
lket of the world"
what dividends do you figure on?'
eWell. last night l was figuring on a
straight 100 per cent, but this morning
! thought ! ought to make a little al
lowance. Many turtles die Of home
sickness, you know, and a certain per
cent of the frogs are bound to jump
the wire fences and get away. To be
very safe and conservative / have put
the dividends at e5 per cent, l think
that is a rather neat figure, don't your
"Great! Great Scott, I've been lend
dng money at 6 per cent"
"How-hOw much were you thinking
of investing?" asked the major In a
voice that trembled In spite Of himself.
Twenty thousand dollars perhaps
"And you--you will pay something
down to secure the stockT'
"A hundred dollars. Here's a check
IN indorse over to you, and I'll come 10
tomorrow and pay the balance and get
the stock. by George, but I'm In luck.
Just think OF getting hold of some
thing paying 95 per cent dividends!
why. my wife will think me crazy
when / tell her about this. You won't
let Morgan buy the whole thing up and
freeze me out, will your"
mo. You shall have the stock"
"And I'll remember you. I'll buy
you a pearl pin out Of the first divi-
dend. If you want. when You get
started, I'll show you how to catch
frogs for canning. There's a peculiar
way OF getting hold Of them by one
hind leg. Ninety-ive per cent! / can't
help but dwell on It'll"
"Yes, it's a good thing" replied the
kmajor as he showed the folded check
into his vest pocket in a careless way.
ksYou will be in tomorrow"
"Sure, Mikel II / was a Frenchman
I'D kiss you for luck, but as I'm not
wen shake hands and I'll say ia. ia.
Tomorrow! Ninety-fve per cent
Whoopg'
When he had gone the major walked
mp and down to calm his raging heart.
hA zsz-sA u~~r. noo~4hlo NJ nonIAnff