davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
FORES SIGHT.

Bouncer-Halloa. Jack! Got Glove
In your pocket?
Muggs-Yes, here you are, old man.
Bouncer-Thanks! Now have you q
match?
Muggs-I have. Help yourself.
Bouncer-Thanksl Lend me your
cigar cutter for second, will youf
Muggs-Certainlyl But where's
your cigar7
Bouncer-Why, was Just going to
ask you for one.
Muggs-Humph! Well. here you are
The match you borrowed is to light
the cigar. suppose. and the cigar cut
ter is to take the end Off
Bouncer-You've guessed 1t. old
chap.
Muggs-But what did you borrow
the Glove for?
Bouncer-Oh, that's to chew after l
take that drink you are going to buy
me.-Tid- Bits.
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
To Peel a Tomato.

The tomato season is with US, and
many a housekeeper would be glad to
know how to slip the skin off without
the use of boiling water. Press the
back or blunt part of knife against the
tomato. keep pressing around from
center to core, two or three times,
without breaking the skin, then strip
off. with the same result as using hot
water. This is easy to do and is espe-
cially nice in summer. when you prefer
tomatoes cold for salad.
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16

II delivered by responsible person.
We remember that In the far away
days when he was great creative
writer he produced works Of genius
for which we were all grateful; and
the splendor OF their precocious dawn
has not been cancelled, though its
promise has never been fulfilled. But
genius is too waywnrd thing for
promise or prophecy. and the man of
genius has burdens laid on him which
others can but dimly divine.-London
Chronicle.
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Experience.

I'VE learn by experience" said the
ready-made philosopher.
That's true remarked Mr.
Growcher. 1--WE get lot of informa-
tion from experience. but 1t doesn't
seem to help. What's the good of
knowing what the weather was day
before yesterday
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Keeping Lemons.

Lemons may be kept soft and fresh
for some time either by keeping them
In jar of water or by coating each
lemon with white of egg. Two or three
whites will be sufficient for a great
many lemons. Roll them in the white
and let them dry. When they are re-
quired for use rub the coating of with
your hands.
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
To Cook an. Eco.

Have the water boiling rapidly, ther
break the egg into it and set it on tor
of the stove, or where 1t will keen
warm for three minutes; then serve.
The egg will be jellied all the way
through. This is the best way to cook
it for little child.
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Il gotcha." chirped the boy
The Busy Man.

Peals Of laughter came from the
presidents room as the secretary
stepped out.
Mr.. Green is too busy to see you
at present." said the secretary. DO
utely:
I'm sorry." said the man who called
on business. "Will you go back and
tell Mr.. Green that I've got two stories
just as good as the one he's heard. II
he'll let me In to tell them?"
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
1wIIlah, of Mr.. kIplIna.

Poor Mr.. Rudyard Kipiing has for
many years now been unable to talk
politics without abandoning good man
ners and common sense in quite sin
gular degree. The tendency has be-
come a sort of disease with him; and.
therefore, speeches such as that which
he delivered last Saturday at Tun-
bridge Wells cannot surprise US or
make VI indignant, a. they would do
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Cheered roo 60,

Ihe new master on his first day et
the school had all the pupils gathered
In the hall, where he delivered an ad.
dress to them, in the course of which
ne remarked that he did not believe
IN canes. AT this point he was inter
rupted by ringing cheers from his
youthful audience. "A far better thing"
he continued, beaming at them through
his spectacles, SIS good stout strap
of the best leather"
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
creamed Celery.

Remove the leaves and small stalks
from two heads of celery. wash and
cut in half-inch lengths. Boil in salted
water until tender. While the celery
is boiling make sauce Of one cupful
of cream or thick milk and one table.
spoonful of butter mixed with flour.
Boil the sauce until it is smooth and
thick. When the celery is ready, drain
and place 1t in dish. pour over the
sauce and serve.
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Hardly Necessary.

Have you>called on Mrs. Waggles7 p
asked Mrs. Twobble.
Dear. no." answered Mrs. Bias
comb, but they do say'-here follows
30 minutes OF animated gossip. con-
cluding with, Il really must call to
find out something about her."
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
A Diplomatic Answer.

Miss Sweetleigh-Me marry youf
Why. you're old enough to be my IA
ther.
Mr.. Oldtime-Far from 1t. But I'll
admit that you seem young enough to
be my daughter.
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
One on the Professor.

Professor discussing organic and
inorganic kingdoms)-Now,i If should
shut my eyes-so-and dry my head
so-and remain perfectly still, you
would say was clod. But l move.
l leap. Then what do you call me?"
Bright Pupil-A clodhopper. sir.
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Father Of the preadnauoht.

To the late Cuniberti, major general
Of the Italian naval engineering staff.
Is due the credit Of having suggested
the modern dreadnaught. 1t was he.
also, who suggested the modern type
of scout. and he was one of the first
10 study the question OF the applica-
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Fond ImauInatIon.

What a voice that child has"
-Yes," replied the proud father.
Its wonderful how he takes after
me! Do you know, some parts Of his
vocalization sound exactly like my old
college yells!"
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Accomn,I.hed Foremothers.

Biggs-our forfathers had wives
that were of some account They
could do everything from the family
sewing to driving oxen.
Boggs = Yes. they hemmed and
hawed. as It were.-Christian Regis
ter.
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
A Public Worker,

Mrs Bl1stum is woman who be-
neves in doing things"
"Quite so, but unfortunately for Mr..
Blustum and the children. she doesn't
believe in doing things about the
house"
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
A Reason for II.

Motorist (blocked by load Of hay)-
I say. there. pull out and let me by.
Farmer-Oh. dunno ez I'm In any
hurry.
Motorist (angrily)-You seemed in
a hurry to let that other fellows car
riage get past
Farmer-That's cause his horse wus
eatiR my hay. There haln't no danger
O. yew eatin' 1t. reckon.-Boston
Transcript
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
To Clean Paint. and varni.bes.

Here is good way to clean painted
and vanished surfaces: To half
bucketful of warm water add table.
spoonful of salts of tartar; wash the
paints with a rag dipped in this, and it
will remove every speck of dirt. Rinse
in clear warm water and dry with q
chamois.
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Much Put Upon.

II understand he met with many
hardships during his childhood"
Indeed he did! His 'doting moth.
er made him wear curls until he was
nearly twelve years old"
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
stenned AII over hi

IF you dance with my wife again
I'll sue you for damages"
My dear sir. have no desire to
ALLEVIATE her affections"
Il mean for damages to that e1pen-
sive costume"
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
The Worst.

Bill-Been to the ball game?
Jill-Yes. and It was very tiresome
today.
"Oh, did you have your wife along7"
No: worse than that Our team
Oas beaten
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Preparing.

What do you intend to do after
you leave college?"
well. haven't decided on anything
definitely for the first year, except to
come back for the class reunion"
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
liam and M.rmaIade Hint.

When making jam or marmalade
add piece of butter about the size Of
an egg before removing 1t from the
fire. This makes the fruit look clear
without skimming it
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Those Horse eonnet..

as my hat on straight" asked the
near horse of the team.
Sure" replied the of horse. but,
for gracious sake, If you want to keep
1t straight, quit wiggling your ears!"
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Timely TIp,

A puree of apples or tomatoes,
sweetened or seasoned. makes a deli.
cious filling for savory rice or fried
bread croustades, and should also ac.
company roast pork or sausages.
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Careful.

You should not look gift horse in
the mouth"
Il don't. don't even go to the e1
tent of smoking q gift cigar to set
II It is good or not
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
AppreeIated Accomplishment.

rs your boy Josh much help to you
on the farm?"
''I should say So" replied Farmer
Corntossel. Il don't know what we'd
do without him when the summer
boarders want to tango"
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
A New Composer.

What is the orchestra playinsr
asked Mr.. Blowster.
"Er-Something from Bacchanale."
answered Mrs. Gadsome. after hasty
glance at her program.
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
A nIaerent coroe.

How about that beautiful gorge
you advertised"
"Yonder 1t is" said the landlord.
did you ever see a more beautiful
ravine7"
Bah! 1 thought gorge meant =
great big meaL"-Pittsburgh Post
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Green-I no end-seat hog. On the
street car l never sit on the end IT,
Wise-It's raining.
Goina the Pace.

1.-THE gay Bohemian life for me-"
Said Arthur Babson Hdey;
And then he ate with well feisned glss
A bowlsof rank chop suey.
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
A Sian of thu rlmea

Il fear THE is, an era of unrest"
II quite agree with you. Practically
everybody you meet nowadays wants
to dance the tango or the maxlxe."
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Where He shone.

Yes. sir; Sam Jones is the light
weight champion of the South side"
That SO? didn't know Jones was
a prize fighter"
He ain't. He's In the grocery bust
ness"
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16

The Englishman-The trouble with
you Americans is that you eat too
much.
The American-Well. the beef trust
10 trying to stop that.
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16

tion of liquid fuel to marine boilers.
1t was his influence which led to the
adoption of this fuel in the Italian tor.
pedo boat service.
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Imperturbable.

He said was wart on the face
Of nature"
What did you do?."
Il told him his caustic remarks
would have no effect on me-"
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
FIsberman's Luck.

Simple Simon went a-fishing in his
mothers pail"
Thus sang the children.
HE wasn't SO simple at that" COM
mented the returning angler. Here
am all scratched up and blistered and
burned. with nothing whatever to
show for my days work."-Courier
Journal
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Boys. Beware.

The boy had passed fairly good
examination. and the old gentleman
told him to come to work.
you may report tomorrow" said
he.
Il gotcha." chirped the boy.
But you haven't got the Job yet"
was the swift comeback. -and you
never will"
Moral: Some slang would irritate
any man.-Louisville Courier Journal.
The Springfield herald., 1914-10-16
Whx rhex Want to Marry.

She-What in the world makes bro
ken down widowers SO anxious to mar
~ again?
He-Possibly because they want to
get repaired.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1914-02-28

people, heart filled with love of gold
and hatred of the toi1ers-a soldier
who struck at Annie with a saber and
cut cash across her wrist, from
which the blood poured over her
hand.
And l knew she was thinking of
how she had held that flag until it's
red, white and blue clothed her like
a gown, and had cried:
xiii me, go on and kill me. don't
care what you do, but you got to kill
me through the flag of my country.
respect my country's flag, if you do
not"
But the cowardly soldier contented
himself by striking at her, and several
of the strikers dragged her away.
l knew she was thinking of all
these things, as pointed out to her
Officer No. S1S, the big, brawny man
who had belittled himself and his
manhood, according to the story told
by Miss Meyers, by insulting defense
less girls.
And pointed out to her Police
woman Mrs. Boyd, who was smiling
and, chatting with some men,, but
whose eyes glittered and whose Jaw
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1914-02-28
BY JANE WHITAKER

people go posi-
BILE when they know these girls pckeng outside their
smiled Cemenc, of
Arc the Calumet the girl who has led parad of the
the
working
They people"
Keepers Association and the Brewers Association who
O they
But the girls nde The girls who places
who havet places in Calumet
serving paonize
outside
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1914-02-28


for themselves but for all working
women?"
She did not wait for me to answer.
How 1 pity these girls" she muir
INJURED. "They go up and down so
quietly with no protest You can
only tell the battle they are fighting
by the flag that they carry. Six slim
girls and almost an army of police.
l could not obey as they obey. l
would cry out, There is strike
here, don't you go in
when they have done that, they
have been arrested and sometimes
man-hand1ed, explained, gently.
81 know what that is" she an
swered, and her soft brown eyes
grew hard with bitterness. l knew
she was thinking of that parade not
so many months ago when she led a
band of strikers and their sympath-
izers. When one of the large Ameri-
can flags was cut to shreds by the
militia and she sHatched the other,
and waved it aloft in her strong arms,
as she cried: T.s
Come on. Follow mep'
And l knew she was thinking of the
cowardly soldier who had, under a
uniform that pledged him to serve his
country and protect the rights of her
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1914-04-07
Daddy sBedtrne
~ .~ The Eagles
.NfOTV - Who Were
Always Still

"@ N the house where Kenneth lived there was a chair which had always
fascinated him. It was a very very old chair, and Kenneth's mother
81 ana daddy were very proud Of it." said daddy to Jack and Evelyn
"Kenneths daddy had bought t al q sale Of old and curious things
1t was a Roman chair, and o n either side were two heads Of eagles These
four heads in all always made Kenneth wonder, for they looked 10 very life
like. Hs used to imagine that even little wooden eagles must get very tired
OF always being just the same.
Really it often made Kenneth quite sad to watch them. One afternoon
Kenneth went to a party. A little school chum Of his had given it. IL had
been q very nice party. But oh, he did feel % tt ed, for they had played
blind mans buzz, bull In the ring, squat tag and other games.
when Kenneth came home from the party It was not quite his bedtime
and secretly in his heart he was hoping 1T would come soon, for he had made
up his mind that he wasn't going to bed until his bedtime.
"He got a book from the library shelf It was full Of pictures Of sailors
and pirates and ships, because If anything would keep awake that would. He
sat I'm a big chair and put the book before him or the Roman chair
strangely enough, though, aftef a moment o. two, he didn't seem TO see
pirates, and the sea began to look very much nor like the surface If a chair
Soon the pirates disappeared entirely, and the four eagles Of the Roman chair
were looking at him steadily,
"Youre terribly tired, aren't you? said the first eagle.
"Yes; I'm a little tired Kenneth admitted.
"Wen, you're not Is tired as W g are said the second eagle
"No, indeed! said the third eagle. You're only tired because you've
played so many games. We're tired because we're always STILL
Kenneth listened eagerly because he'd so often thought just what he was
be very dull. I've often thought that. Have you been there a long timer
"Oh, ages and agesF replied the fourth eagle, who up to this time hadn't
spoken We were very old before your daddy got U.s., We've been on this
chair o long. We can't RENE nber how long. And what makes US feel SO
sad is that we are called Eagles - should fly and yet are forever glued to
this chair
Kenneth. Kenneth cried Kenneths mother, its long past bedumeF
"Oh, / am not 81 tired as the eagles arer said Kenneth, And KeDneths
mother wondered II he was talking in his Sleep"
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1914-04-07
BIGNE SS.

. 1t is pretty difficult for the average
individual to obtain an adequate sense
of the bigness of a good many things
that are coming into existence these
days; the dimensions of skyscrapers,
the height Of towers, the bigness OF
"mogul' locomotives.
The latest big thing, getting almost
beyond the ordinary powers of concep-
ton. is the superdreadnaught Texas
recently launched.
When this biggest of fighting vessels
left the Brooklyn Navy yard and
started toward the open sea. it had to
pass under the Brooklyn bridge.
This structure. rising to a dizzy
height, has never impeded the nov
ments of the greatest sailing vessels.
It's Orders rise 125 feet above the level
of East river.
Yet when the Texas drew near it
was seer that the upper structure. in
Guiding poles belonging to the wireless
apparatus, would not clear the 1876
feet-high Orders. 49,.
What a target for the gunners OF
the enemy such a vessel offers!. Yet
what incalculable power such a mass
Of steel afloat ought to possess!
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1914-04-07
BANK RESERVE CENTERs.

The seven cities which competed for
the honor of having given birth to
Homer engaged in a mild scramble in
comparison with the wild rush made
by all the great communities of the
United States for recognition by the
Washington administration in it's dis
%tribution Of federal reserve centers.
1t Is apparent, however, that Secretary
McAdoo and his colleagues who made
the selections, have been guided by A.
nancial n geographical considera-
tions only, and have not been infu-
enced to any great degree by the po-
litical possibilities that might flow
from their action.
The presence Of Shelton williams. a
Virginia banker. on the commission.
however. no doubt Influenced the Sc
lection of Richmond as one of the re-
serve cities. There is much disap-
pointment, too, that the great Pacific
slope has but one reserve centre at
San Francisco. while the state of Mis-
souri, has two. The capital of the pro-
posed reserve banks ranges from 81
702,7S0 at Atlanta to $40. 687,616 at
New York, n the population of the
territory affected from 5,310,561 at
Dallas, to 12,636,3s3 at Chicago.
h people Of the United States have
not yet come to a realization of the
vast change in the financial concerns
OF the country that has been consum-
mated by the Wilson currency act.
The government has gone into the
banking business to an extent that
ever a & socialist would welcome. While
there is no prohibition OF individual
effort or of the combined efforts of fl
nancial units in the future, the fact re-
mains that no system of state bank
ing that a be devised Tan prevail
against the vast system that is we'd
ded to and welded in with the govern
ment of the United States. ,..
Anf the odd feature is that this
wonder was wrought by an admins
tration dominated by the great histor-
&c party which has always opposed
Capitalization and protested against
the union of finance and government.
There is no manner of doubt, how
ever, that il the new system is scien-
tif1cally administered by men Of inte-
gritty and experience, 1t will turn out
a success.
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1914-04-07
B. Winshjp Writes
on n. Dakota Politics

long before a day Of reckoning will
dawn upon us that will jar the nation
from center to circumference. We
cannot much longer permit u gov
ernmental finances to. be manipulated
and expended by incompetent and in
experienced public servants. Village
presidents, mayors, councilmen, gov
errors and legislators must possess
some business qualifications for their
respective positions or the Nelson
cure will ultimately be resorted to to
relieve the distress Of bankrupt con
munities. For nearly half a century
now we have been electing men to
take charge Of our business affairs,
who, in most cases, were grossly in
competent. All were good fellows and
popular, but few had the stuff in them
to manage a big concern like a city
or a state. They were placed in office
because Of their skill in the manipu-
lation Of nominating conventions and
their ability to serve the bosses. One
bad phase Of the situation is that
public officials are not held to a strict
accountability, but so far as our avs
can make them, they are relieved of
direct responsibility. Hark back to
the first years Of statehood and enum-
crate the chief executives Of North
Dakota who were elected because of
signal ability to transact the peoples
business. They are easily counted.
And as yet the state Of North Dakota
is a big business institution, which
spends more than a million dollars
every year and levies hundreds of
thousands Of dollars upon the taXpay-
ers.
But no business governor, or man
ager, can accomplish much without
the aid and cooperation of the legis-
lature. That branch of state govern
ment, elected b%iennially by the people,
is the source of all the evil OF reck-
less appropriations, and a radical re-
form in it's makeup and it's methods
is the crying demand Of the hour.
For instance, when the last legislative
assembly met, a little more than a
year ago, it was confronted by an ex-
cess Of appropriations Of nearly $780,
| 900, and unpaid bills amounting to
about 100000 more. All this, not
withstanding that Governor Burke had
lpared the appropriation bills down to
the core, as he thought. To meet this
deficit, which was due wholly to al
than $4,000 in the general fund, and
due and uncollected about $4,000
more, leaving an actual deficit of more
than a quarter of a million dollars for
the administration which took charge
Jan. /, 1918, to handle as best 1t
could. But the inheritance from the
last Burke administration did not dis
turb the equinimity Of the thirteenth
Legislative assembly. Nc heed was
taken of the income of the state, OF
its credit, but the usual thing occur
red, and nearly half a million dollars
were appropriated more than should
have been, and were it not for the
vetoing Of many bills by Governor
Hanna, whereby about 5000, 900 was
eliminated, the next legislative as
sembly would have been confronted
a million dollars.
In a strict political way. I have moi
been very closely associated in the
past with Governor Hanna. He has
not been progressive enough for ms
along many lines of political activity
The Fargo forum and daily republican. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1894-1957, 1914-04-07

to all the courts Of Europe, and in
which he received the notables who
came to escort him to his new king
dom. They also bought railway tick
cts for these same notables for the
trip, and they furnished King William
with a steamer TO take him to his
kingdom.
p Clad IN finery bought on the install
ment plan he goes to a wild, noun
famous country to reign owe a score
Of fierce mountain clans who never ac-
knowledged any master save the mas
terfuI Skanderbeg, who freed them
from the Turkish yoke and held them
down with a strong hand. That Will
liam will prove a second Skanderbeg
Is not at all likely. and some day in
the not far distant future We will
probably read Of an uprising or an as
s~assinstion. However, King William
has cheerfully undertaken the job. A
short life and d royal one is his motto.