davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27
NO.s TIp V~sOoInstIon.

the young japanese diplomat point
ed to his father, the marquis.
That's father" hO said, "the old fell
low with the saucer shaped Sear on
the tip Of his nose. All laps Of the
older generation have that scar"
"YesT' said the dObutante.
YES, it's q vaccination marx. In the
old days. when compulsory vaccination
nrst began. we Japs vaccinated every
body on the tip Of the nos Why9
Well. because II was q good place.
where there's no movement 10 rub Oh
the scab. and also because q vaccina-
ton scar on the nose was easily iden-
uAed BY the medical Omcers Of the
government A man didn't have to
take Oh half his clothes in order 10
prove that he'd been VaccinateA
YES. the nose tip vaccination had
iks good points. put before the modern
hankeFins after beauty Il had 10 Bo."-
New YORK Tribune
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27

A well known Parisian anaquary
while on his holidays In Normandy
came across an old farm which had n
curious carving In the form Of an ar.
mortal bearing over one Of the stable
doors. Beneath the carving was a
wooden bar inscribed with a date. Ex-
aiming II closely, he found the Inter
70 be 1851. All his antiquarian PAS
siOns were aroused. needless 70 say.
and after some bargaining the farmer
sold him the carving for quite a nice
sum The next day the farmer brought
the trouvaille to the antiquary's villa
This isn't what ! boughtg' exclaimed
the purchaser. 1T beans the date o.
1901. don't want t." Excuse me
SIR" replied the farmer. 'its the
same, right enough. But the farmer
who recently repaired Il replaced tho
bar upside down. and I thought !
ought to put It right for you" The an
uauary was sporting enough not L
90 back on his bargain. but the factr
OF the caSe DO not to speak highly
OF his antiquarian neutrality-suspicious.
Globe.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27
JUST A BOYS IDEA.
Il Made che invention 81 tire RsspIns
Machine q Success.

II Made che invention 81 tire Roaplns
Machine q Success.
In 1890 Obed Hussey OF Ohio was in-
venting a reaping machine. the frst
ever designed In this country. His
chief difficulty was the cutting device,
which was three large sickles set in a
frame and revolved so as to cut into
the grain. II would not work satisfac-
torily.
A young son, watching the expert
ments, asked his father why he did not
use a lot OF big scissors, with one han
die fastened to one bar and the other
handle to a sliding bar, thus opening
and closing them.
Hussey instantly adopted the idea,
substituting for scissors the two saw
coothed blades which are in common
use today on ~harvesters. the cutting
action being quite similar to that Of
scissors.
From the boys suggestion he per-
fected in one week a machine on which
he had in vain exercised all his in
genuity for the preceding two years.
The principle OF that cutting device il
the principle Of all Of the great harvest
ing machines, and its benefit to the
farming industry Of the entire world
has been unsurpassed by any other In.
Vention for use on the farm.-Georgo
r. Stratton. in st. Nicholas.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27

In Japan the censorship Of novels u
not exercised BY the libraries. but by
q government o6lciaI who Il empower
Cd 10 prosecute Offending authors AZ
we'll as forbid the sale OF their books.
Not long ago the author Of a japanese
novel called The Great City" was
brought before the courts for giving
too realistic a description Of life In To
kyO. His counsel used the old argu-
ments about the indefensibie rights Of
literature and the enn0biing OF every
thing by art But the case was given
against the author. Even some Of
AOlisee's works have been forbidden
to circulate In japan. the ground Of
OGenSo being the lack Of respect shown
By wives toward their husbands and
By Sons toward their fathsrA
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27

The following curious letter was re-
Gently received By 4 house renting
agency In London:
"Have you a reputed haunted house
on POUR books1 am not afraid OF
ghosts. do not hs q matter OF course
believe In their existence. and I am
willing to i've in a house for q long OF
short term By arrangement Of course
rant free. Should there be no ghost
then. n you wish Il, ! shall be willing
to testify on oath to the fact But
should / see an apparition l will keep
the matter secret and only acQualnt
you with the circumstances Will
pledge myself not to pander to local
gossip. / have q small Income on
which I can SubsisE My sole object in
thus applying 70 you Is TO be allowed
to live In q place In which ] do nos
need TO pay any rent"
The inquirer vas Informed that the
nrm had no haunted houses on It's list
but would inform him when Il had
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27
ELEPHANT SERVANTS.
An Easy Solution Of the NvrSsmaId
Problem In Bengal.


An Easy Solution Of the NUrsSmAId
Problem In Bengal.
in '"Tigerland" the author relates IN
extraordinary comedy Witnessed BY q
friend who was sitting in the veranda
Of his tent in Bengal watching bis ele-
plants, which were picketed under
some trees a short distance Oh.
He saw the wife Of one Of the
mahOuts emerge from her tentlik0
shelter with an infant In her arms
She took II close mp to q huge "tuskeF."
to whom she made a Tow salaam: then
put the sleeping child down before Il
and salaamed again. Next she spread
4 blanket on the ground and placed the
baby In the center Of Il, well within
reach OF the tusker's prOboscis. Then
sGlaaming again. morn SYSTEMATICALLY.
went Oh to the bazaar.
Presently the child awoke and soon
began TO crawl toward the edge Of the
blanket But when II had gone a foot
or two the elephant stretching out his
trunk. gently pulled Il back to It's orig
inaI position. Again and again the
baby attempted similar excursions to
regions beyond the blankets edge. but
always with the same result Explora-
ton under elephantine supervisors
finally proved too dull. and 70 the child
lay quiet for awhile. gazing mp ut its
huge nurse. then dropped OF peace
fully to sleep again
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27

Goethe severed his connection with
the Weimar thester owing to the aD-
pearance of an animal on the stage
For twenty-seven years he ruled there
a. 4 despotc director. The direction"
1do wrote TO his chief assistant acts
according TO is own views and not in
the least according to the demands Of
the public. Once for all understand
that the public must be controlled"
When at length he forbade any express
sions Of approval or disapprovai on the
part Of his public only the court and
the Jena students continued 10 attend
the theater.
The crash came when Duke Kari Au-
gust invited an actor who had scored
heavily with a performing poodle In
The Dog Of HontHrgiS' to play at
Weimar. After the frst rehearsal he
declined to have anything more 10 do
with q theateF the boards Of which
had been desecrated By the presence Of
an animaL-Pall Mail Gazette
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27

The remains OF the original Joseph's
well ara to be found at a spot situated
directly on the canal route from Sche-
chem to Memphis. about two miles
southeast OF Cairo. The well itself IL
In the courtyard Of some barracks be
longing to the army OF occupation.
Near by ia "the citadel" the second
largest mosque In Egypt. The well
bears signs OF having ben bncked mp.
Yet It II easy to see that Joseph's dis
cOmhture could not have been 50 great
as 0ne might imagine. for this well,
like all the wells Of Egypt. Is OF a cir
conference much larger than those OF
today. and Joseph would have been
able 10 exercise his limbs with ease by
walking around It. Moreover. when
the Nile IA low these wells are quite
dry.-NeW YoEk Sun.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27

One day I'm my walk I came upon
two phoebes' nests under o~verhanginR
rocks, both with half iedged young In
them, and In neither cas- were par
enf birds in evidence. They ala not
give their secret away By aetting up
the hue and CRY that nesting birds uaur
ally set up on such Occasions. I finally.
saw them, as silent as shadows, perch
ed near By. with food In their beakB,
whick they enalIy swallowed. as my
stay was prolonged. And the nests.
both on a level with my eye. were ap-
parently filed only with a motionless
mass Of blush mold. As l gently
touched them, instead Of four OF Eve
heads with open mouths springing up.
the young only settled lower in the
nest and disposed themselves IN q
headless. shapelesS mass. The Dhoebo
IL evidently a very cautious bird,
though no birds r more familiar
about our porches and Outbuildings.-
John Burroughs in Atlantic Monthly.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27

The Rev. DIR. Elderberry had been
upon a voyage to the south seas and
brought back a young cannibaI. The
young eannibal was called BeebO.
BsebO was turned over to Mrs. Elder
berry to be civilized. For full four
weeks the good lady instructed her
charge In the theoretical principles Of
Christian doctrine and conduct until
she thought he was ripe to put hiss
training into practice.
"And now, Beebo." said she n day,
"you shall see that what 1 haze taught
you Is more than mer words. You
are to accompany me to the public
kitchen, where / serve afty poor
schoolboys, You shah help me"
But the little cannibal shook hin
head sadly.
"oh, missy" he said. I'm not hun
CRY. The most / could eat would be
one very little sehoolboyT-New York
Poat.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27

Il is diflcuit for a Chinamnn to mas
ter the English pronunciation. and this
accounts In great measure for the prev
alenee Of pidgin Engliah. The letter
r Is almost always sounded like I. m
we have KILN or kleen for green and
lain for rain. TOO muchee lain Just
now" L. often heard. 'just now" being
. favorits expression 10 denote the i'm
mediate present In calling upon a
lady one says TO the boy ,house serv-
ant Of any age from sixteen 10 sixty.
~AIissee have GotT' and the answer
comes. slave got" OF "No have got"
according to whether she Is in or out.
This recalls the time hOnored. true
story Of the lady who called and the
bog reported TO bis mistress Of the
house. "Ons piece nan down side.
b'iOng missus." Scarcely compliment
tarY to the "pieceo manF-Amy W.
HOtchkiss In National Magazine
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27
A LOFTY GYMNASIUM.

Pine Exercise IN the Crest Dome 81
the National Capitol.
70 would not be suspected that the
great dome OF the capitol could be
made a gymnasium. but It h used by
not a few people In Warrington. and
especially by some Of the employees Of
the capitol. for purposes Of exercises
and the like
ItS chief apparatus IN that line = the
many winding steps to the top of the
I~antern-2S7 feet in the air. You 80
round and round and round and climb
and climb. That sort Of thing makes
for firm muscles and Il said to be the
best anti-fat cure 10 be had ANYMORE.
and especially IN Washington YOu
can lose ten pounds In n trip.
The thing IL done at record speed
however. Il IL not a slow going up
and a slow going down, although with
other people this Seems most ample h
Dor, but doing the thing IN 6ve min
utes and less. Il b 4 rush up and q
rush down.
People who climb the stairs for sight
seeing purposes are ~agtonished TO e
the MercuFios rush In the ascent OF the
descent but Of course they do NOT
know what 4 b an done fOr.-NSw
Yogk Sun.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27

Survivors OF great railway accidents
DO NOT readily forget the experience.
Charles Dickens did not, when on June
O. 1895. a train fell through the bridge
at s~tapiehurst, England, and the car
Rage in which be was travelling hung
over the side. He acted with great
GOODNESS and courage. helping to extT1-
cate the wounded and then ScEambllng
back to rescue the manuscripts OF -Our
Mutual Friend" But though unin-
jured, he never recovered from the
shock. Afterward. when travelling a.
his daughter relates, ne would often
suddenly fall into a paroxysm Of fear.
clutch the arms II tho railway carriage.
large beads Of perspiration standing
on his face and suffer agOnies OF ter
ror." Dickens died on the anniversary
q the accident i've yearS later.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27

Many Of our Halloween customs
eome 20 Us from England and Scotland.
and a roost popular u iS called the
'iSn~apdragOn," which IL brought ia
when refreshments are served, gen
orally at the last before leaving the
table. The lights are all turned out
and the platter containing the snap
dragon Is brought In. Why It is thus
named ! know not, but Il is made this
way: Place large table raisins quite
closely and evenly on the platter. sprin-
kle with salt and cover with good al
cOhoi. Just before bringing IN light
the alcohol and q most ghastly green.
fish white light will be the result. Pass
Il around the table. and each guest Ia
to try to grab a raisln from the fame.
Now. don't ask me why and wherefore
regarding this strange custom, for !
DO not know; only. my earliest recol-
lectiOns Of a Halloween party, and I
regret to say that It Is many yearB
ago. we had a snapdragon. and an
English lady told me how 70 make IT,.
Sometimes ghost stories are told while
the dragon burns on the tnblo.-St.
Louis Globe-D Democrat
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27

Last leap year l did not want TO en-
barrass my best girl to make her pro-
pose TO me, 80 asked her 10 be my wife,
and she said, u would rather be ex-
cused." and /. like I'm idiot, excused
her. But l got even with the girl. l
married her mother. Then my father
married the girl. Now ! don't know
who / am.
When ] married the girls mother tho
girl became my daughter. and when
my father married my daughter he is
my son. When my father married my
daughter she was my mother. II my
father is my son and my daughter Is
my mother. who In thunder am II
Ny mothers mother (Which Is my wife)
must be my grandmother. and l being
my grandmother's husband. l am my
WI grandfather National Monthly.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27
WHERE MONEY is USELESS.
Ascension leland Has None and Has
No Need For u.

Ascension leland Has None and Has
No Need For u.
The island OF Ascension, 10 the At
lantic. belonging to Great Britain. Is
Of volcanic formation. eight miles by
six In size. and has a population Of
about $50. Il was unlnhabited until the
confinement Of Napoleon at st. Helena.
when Il was occupied by a small Brit
ish force. Il Is $50 miles northwest Of
81 Helena. Vast numbers Of turtles
are found on It's shores. and Il serves
az a depot and watering place for
ships.
Ascension b governed By a eaptain
appointed by the British admiralty.
There Is no private property in land,
no rents. nc taxes and no use for mon
~. The nOeks and herds aro public
property. and the meat Il issued as m
lions. 30 are the vegetables grown on
the farms. Wh1a an island fisherman
makes a catch he brings It to the
guRrdroOm. where II Is issued By the
sergeant major. Practically the entire
population are snilOrs. and they work
at most Of the common trades. The
muleteer Is a Jack tar; % ls the gar
deneV; % are the shepherds. the stock
men the groows. masOns, carpenters
and plumbers. Even the Island trappsF
who gets rewards for the tails Of rats
y q anilor.
The climate i almost perfect. and
anything can be grOwn.-LOndon Fam
Iiy Herald.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27

A very young enthusiast at the Cen
trail telegraph ONCE. says the Manches-
ter Guardian. really wanted to know
about things. and. being unable to gain
certain technical information from his
colleagues, he decided to nnscrew n
q the elaborate instruments from the
desk and take It home to examine It
and ind out for himself how II work
ed Some weeks later q box Of pieces
was returned to the engineer in chief
With the following note; ~ am not
quite certain how TO put the lDclOSed
instrument together. 90 hive lnclosed
8A for the mechanics time Il took
me four hours 10 unscrew Il"
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27
Quaint Old English Ceremony.


On the last day Of each October tire
city solicitor Of London. with an as
slStant, attends upon the royal remsm
braneer. when By proclamation the
tenants and OecuplorS Of q piece OF
waste ground called the moOrS. in the
county Of salop." r commanded 10
~cOmo forth and DO your service upon
pain and peril that shall fan thereon"
The solicitor chops in halves two fag-
Ots. one with a Ratchet and the other
with q bill hook. Aftsrward comes the
summons TO the tsnanA etc. o. "a
certain tsnsment with q fOrgSr In the
Strand and the payment Of S1 bOESe-
Shoes. with sixty-OnS shoe nails. By the
solicitor. This forge has long ceased
b be. and the same shoes and nails
ara used year after year. the shoes b.
lng At least two centuries old
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27
READS TWO WAYS.
Punotuato This Letter and Get Widely
Different Meanings.

Different Meanings.
A letter. 90 constructed without
punctuation that Il can be read IN q
number Of different WAYS, giving a.
rsctly opposite meaninga, was printed
IN an Indiana newspaper in 1856. The
letter follows
HE is an old experienced maa in
vice and w~ickedness be IL never found
opposing the works OF iniquity be takes
delight IN the downfall Of the neigh
borhood b eejOiees In the pres
perity Of any Of his fellow creatures
be 10 always ready 10 assist In destroy
ing the peace Of society no takes ne
pleasure In serving tho Lord be IL an
commonly diligont in sowing discord
among his friends and aequaintanees
be takes no pride In laboFing 20 pro
mote the cause Of Christianity be has
not been negligent IN endeavoring %
stigmatize all public teachers he makes
no exertions 70 subdue his svil pas
gions he tries hard to build up sataufg
kingdom b Lends no aid to the support
OF the gospel among the heather be
contributes largely 10 the evil adv0E
Sary he pays NO attention to good a6-
vice he gives great heed 20 the devil be
win never 20 to heaven be must 80
where be WIN receive his lust recon-
pense Of rewaFd"-Indianapolis NewA
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27

Cook q a. m,GPiease, ma'am, the
dog got hold OF the steak that vas for
breakfast. Shall l go out and get an
Other3 Mistress-Is there any news In
the morning paperl CoOk-Yes, Indeed,
ma'Hm-big accidents an horrid muir
den an bomb explosions an rumOrs OF
another war. Mistreas-Very well.
Warm over something left from supper
and place the paper by my husbands
plate.-Puck.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27
PUzzLED THE DRIVER.
New He Believes the Policeman 10 .
Real Mind Reader.

New He Believes the Policeman 10 .
Real Mind Reader.
A certain truckman IN the habit Of
using the new Manhattan bridge on bis
morning "trip 70 Brooklyn has abandona
ed that route because Of superstition.
Several days ago while the truckman
was taking a load Of chicken crates to
brooklyn a hne cap Topped down be-
fore him Just as bis team had passed
under the Manhattan tower. He look
ed around. and. seeing that none Of the
teamsters ahead Of him or behind him
was b~areheaded. he picked up the cap
and put IL under the cushion Of his
seat
Now. Il CHANGED that the cap had
been blown from the head OF n Of
the engineers Of the bridge department
who was high up In the tower at the
time. on reaching the tower base he
called up the policeman at the Brook
Ign approach on the telephone. descnb-
ed the teamster and his wagon and
told how he had lost his cap.
As the long file OF trucks passed By
the policeman the latter halted the
thisving driver. saying: "In trouble
you 10 hand over that cap you picked
up on the Manhattan side. It's a black
and white check. and you've got Il
there under your seat"
Amazed and frightened at the cops
demand, the driver pulled out his hid
den and and tossed 1t to him. Here
you ars.'' he said. You're q mind
reader or onouof them guys what can
see around eornera"-New York Trib-
una.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27

The Rnquisiive traveller kept poking
his head out OF the window Of the car
to tho great annoyance Of the eOnduc-
tor who several times stopped to warn
him against the danger. At length he
tapped the careless one on the shoulder
and said:
pardon me. but this hmO I must In
sist that you withdraw your head"
Insolmtly the traveller spoke back
over his shoulder without complying
with the request:
"Whyr'
"oh," said the conductor. nsttled.
I'VE are coming 10 q bridge, and /
don't want any Of the girders dam
aged By your head"
And then the head came Inst Lou
= Post Dispatch
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27

FsrFagut has always been my ideal
Of the naval 0meer-urbane, decisive.
indomitable. Whenever I have been
In a dinicult situation or in the midst
OF such q confusion Of details that the
simple and right thing 10 DO seemed
haHy, ! have often asked myself.
what would Farragut dot" In the
eOurS Of the preparations for Manila
bay I often ssked myself tbh question.
and l confess that I vas thinking OF
him the night that we entered the bay
and with the conviction that I. was do
Ing precisely what he would have
done. Valuable a. the training o. An
napoliG was. Il wal poor schooling Be-
side that OF serving under FaFraBut IN
time OF WHr-0OOrge Dswey's Auto
biography.
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27
MASSENET'S HOBBY.
A story Of the Composer and his Dear
Friend, the BSokbindor.

A stsry Of the Composer and hIs Dear
Friend, the BookbindOr.
In the ~recollections OF Massenet a
story is told, says the Hamburger
Nachriehten. illustrating the compos-
ers passionate admiration for beauti.
full bindings. Not a week passed with
out a visit from him to his bookbinder
when be brought a new book or a new
edition 10 be bound. In the course Of
time be and his bOokbinder became the
best Of friends, and when Massenet ar
rived the talk was at nrst Of every.
thing on earth except the real object
Of his visit.
Look herer' Massenet would say
eventually, giving the man the volume
to be bound.
"splendidF' replied the bookbinder,
and then for his customer and friend
be would devise some fresh wonder in
the art Of binding.
One morning Massenot suddenly
learned that his friend was giving up
business. He hurried to his shop.
"Heavensl Is 1t true you are leaving
PARISH be asked.
why, certainly / have bought q
charming little country house near
Nantes"
WHAT A country housed And in
the provincesI" And be added sadly,
"Ah, my poor friend, I am partly ~.
sponsible for thatF'
Western liberal. (Lordsburg, N.M.) 1887-1919, 1914-03-27
wh.ro ooOroo Elliot Wont 70 school

Where George Elliot Went 70 School
The ancient cottage az GHG, War-
wickshira. IN which nearly a century
ago was held the nrst school attended
BY George Eliot = situated two miiOs
from NuneatOn, exactly opposite the
entrance gates Of Grin House. which
for twenty yeArs was the residence Of
George EliOts father. Robert Evans.
the original Adam Bede. and Subs0-
Quently tenantsd By Isaac Evans, the
Tom TuliiVoT % 'rhe Mn on the
HO@"-LOndon TmoA