Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-06-07

less fashion and never seem to realize
that, measured by base ball standards,
their batting average is about .O87.
There was another eminent one, whom
the Observer saw. He was caddy who
bore the honorable distinction of once
having carried the Presidents clubs. At
the moment he was trailing behind a
stout, red-faced department official whose
chief difficulty was his inability to see
where the ball hit.
In the distance the Observer saw the
doctor and Alfred. They resembled an
elephant and giraffe. The doctor was
joyous.
Made it in four" he exclaimed to the
Observer.
From force of habit the Observer dodg-
ed quickly.
What do you mean by yelling fore
at me like that?" he demanded, seeing
that neither the doctor nor Alfred was
aiming at the ball.
II didn't yell fore" said the doctor.
You did, snapped the Observer.
II was trying to tell you my score"
explained the doctor. I reached the
green in one and made my hole in three
shots. Not bad, eh?''
If you two will move" said Alfred
grimly, "the game will proceed.
And so it did, SO it did.
/ People went in to lunch and sat around
on the veranda, but the doctor and AL
fred kept right on. The midafternoon
sun sank lower and lower, but the IA
natics, unmindful of all things save the
progress of a gutta percha pellet, con-
tinued to walk and walk and walk. The
Observers throat became dry. He COM
menced to appreciate, for the first time,
| the possibilities Of truth in those lurid
of lyriT1 r MIN
at-southwestern-desert style.
1T would be terrible thing, mutter-
ed the Observer hoarsely as he stumbled
on, Ito have your parched bones found
| on the sunny side of a heap of sand.
| But he fought on and on and on.
Alfred's club cracked against the ball.
a white parabola followed, and then
there was a splash. And the ball was
| floating in the pool.
Darn it, said Alfred, Il ought to
| have cleared that.
| The Observer sank on the grass
What do you do now?" he asked.
There was a lot of examination OF
| ground rules and finally it was decided
| that Alfred owed the course so much and
| this and that-under which conditions he
| was permitted to use new ball.
! The Observer turned toward the caddy
| and asked:
| Why don't you let the boy wade in
and get that ball?'
| ''Aw, say, mister" said the caddy pa
thetically, II amt a water spaniel"
| Then the Observer arose and followed
| YEARLY after the doctor and Alfred.
| Your confirmed golfer is absolutely IN,
| human. At least the doctor and Alfred
| were The doctor addressing the
| ball THAT is a fine phrase because 1t
| tells so eloquently yet so politely exactly
| what golfer does to the ball most OF
| the tme) Golfers also address the green
| and their sticks. But most of the time
| they address the ball.
| The doctor. as has been stated, was
addressing the ball. He had his club
raised and his legs yanked out of shape.
He made a fine swipe. In the distance
| there was sound of ky-ying supple
mented by long-drawn whine.
| That" said the Observer, was mag
nificent shot. The first time you've hit
any thing Let's go down and retrieve
| the game"
But the doctor would not see it that
way. He kept SAYING:
They oughtn't to allow dogs on the
| green. They oughtnt to allow dogs on
! the green. They oughtn't-''
How do you know it was a dog?" de-
manded Alfred. 1T sounded to me like
the sound that the board Of governors
ments In the club"
Alfred, however, was wrong, as he al
ways is.
A stray dog had gotten on the greens
and had been engaged. until the doctor
ported him, in catching elusive golf balls
and carrying them away. Evidently the
dog had no heart for the game now. He
was disappearing over the hills and far
away and his anguished whine rang out
on the evening breezes as he continued
to put distance between himself and the
| doctor.
"Dern it," said the doctor. che spoiled
my shot"
! I'm base ball" began the Observer.
/ Hang base ball." replied the doctor.
His temper was all shot to pieces.
| Alfred and the doctorscontinued to shoot
around the course. Once Alfred SHIPPED
a small bush and tried to chop it down
| with a metal club. He chopped and