The Washington herald., 1914-06-17
Anyway, Teddy Is Vindi-
Gated Of Mistaking 1t for
a Heavy Dew Fall.

~fhe court is incilneo 10 doHl thh -
even IL the colonel did not discover the
River Of Doubt. he went where tns
Brazilian government knew II was and
took trip along its course Furthermore,
the court admits that certain English
men were mistaken In charging that
jCoi Roosevelt mistook heavy dew
fall for a river"
| These words came from the lips Of
lWilliam J. Bryan, the Secretary OF State,
after he had conducted In his once last
evening the most remarkable court OF IN
quiry ever witnessed in Wssbinston-an
| inysstiR atian that was signalized by
Col. Roosevelt indulging in gun play as a
sign Of his resentment against the
peculiar insolence" of the treatment ac-
corded him.
| "outraEe," says Pfnchot.
Clifford Pinchot said It was an OUT
rage. DR.. Harvey w. Wiley, the pure
| food expert. exhausted himself IN tesu-
Tying in the colonefs favor ana Az
niSral Peary and DIR. Cook. gentlemen
who won fame by discovering and not
discovering the north pole, were i'm
portant witnesses. But Lord Killit and
| Sir Blastem. two Englishmen who
charged that the colonel had cheapened
Engiand's holdings in the Panama Canal
by splitting South America wide open
with navigable rivers and thereby OBJ
waiting the necessity of any canal at
all, were extremely complacent in claim
ing that they had discredited the colond
In the eyes Of the world
All this happened last night when the
National Press Club presented on It's own
stage THE River of Doubt. or the Colo
neTs vindication, a war drama in three
acts by DR.. Leonard Wood" The object
of the affair was to put an end to sll
nf
was a great night
} II say. old top-I mean, Mr.. Secretary,
drawled Sir Blastem. Il charge that
this Roosevelt person ran into one OF the
| heavy dews in Brazil. No river, don't
you know-just dew"
"Noise"-and Then Roosevelt.
This somewhat upset Mr.. Bryan. who
caressed his extreme back hair. In
which was seen a nest used for hatch
ing out doves. His disturbance was in
creased by a terrific clamor outside,
falling glass, tremendous reverberations
and four revolver shots In quick success
sion. This chorus prefaced the arrival
of Col. Roosevelt in his triumphal
chariot. Seated on child's express
| wagon, which was drawn by two red
haired negro natives Of Brazil, he drag
ged behind him a third native. a gigantic
fellow, loaded down with chains, human
evidence Of the colonel's great victory.
Roosevelt himself wore a khaki suit
and a big campaign hat He had long
dagger between his teeth, and two small
cannon were strapped to his waist
Having been told that somebody doubt
ed his discovery, he fired eleven revolver
shots at q map on the wall, thus out
lining with the leaden missiles the
course of the River of Doubt. This
slightly overawed the court.
Finally, worn out by the cross-ques-
tioning and hectoring. the colonel said
he had brought back q bottle Of water
from the River of Doubt. and he would
dispel all doubts by having DIR. Wiley
analyze the precious fluid. Wiley stepped
forward, his bearing indicating that he
faced a tremendous crisis.
"Doc'' Uses Radiun Test.
Gentlemen" said the Doc to the court.
''I hold in my right hand a small vial
Of radium Of tremendous power. Here
is a glass of water from the River of
Doubt. II this glass contains dew. as the
courtly Englishman has declared, when
put the radium into the glass tre-
mendous explosion Will follow, blowing
this building into atoms. II the glass
contains ordinary river water, such as
is used with greater or less frequency
in our best circles for bathing purposes.
nothing will happen. II 1t Is water from
the River of Doubt, the contents Of this
glass will climb up and over the sides
Of the glass;
The lights were turned down. The
orchestra played soft, slow music
Everybody watched the experiment In
tense silence. The Doc emptied the
radium into the glas. The water rushed