The Leon reporter. (Leon, Iowa) 1887-1930, 1914-07-09
By Mark Twain

n IN compliance with the request
of friend of mine who wrote
from the east, called on good
- natured, garruious old Simon
Wheeler and inquired after my friends
friend, LeoNidas w. Smiley, as re,
qucsted to do, and hercunto append
the result. have a lurking suspicion
that Leonidas w. Smiley is a myth:
that my friend never knew such per
sOnage, and that he only conjectured
that if | asked old Wheeler about him
1t would remind him of his infamous
Jim Smiley, and he would go to work
and bore NE to death with some ex-
separating "reminiscences Of him as long
and as tedious as it should be useless
to me. II that was the design it sue
eecded
/ found Simon Wheeler doing com
fortably by the barroom stove of the
dilapidated tavern in the decayed min
ing camp of Angels, and noticed that
he was fat and baldheaded and had an
expression of winning gentlcnesS and
simplicity upon his tranquil counte-
nance. He reused up and gave me
good day told him a friend of mine
had commissioned me to make some
inquiries about cherished companion
Of his boyhood. named Leonidas w.
Smiley, Rev. Leonidas w. Smiley, a
young minister Of the gospel. who he
had heard was at one time a resident
Of Angels Camp. l added that if Mr..
Wheeler could tell me anything about
this Rev. Leonidas w. Smiley, would
feel under many obligations to him.
Simon Wheeler backed me into a
corner and blockaded me there with
his chair and then sat down and reeled
s6 the monotonous narrative which
follows this paragraph. He never
smiled. he never frowned, he never
changed his voice from the gentle flow
ing key to which he tuned his initial
sentence. he never betrayed the slight
est suspicion Of enthusiasm. but all
through the interminable narrative
there ran vein Of impressive earnest
0ess and sincerity which showed me
plainly that, so far from his ina ginning
that there was anything ridiculous or
funny about his story, he regarded it
- q really important matter and ad
Rired its two heroes as men of trans
eendent genius in finesse. let him go
On in his own way and never inter
xulDted him once.
"Rev. Leonidas W.-h'm-Rev. LIE
Well, there was Teller here once by
the name Of Jim Smiley in the winter
Of '49. or maybe it was the spring Of
80. l don't recollect exactly somehow.
though what makes me think it was
enc or the other is because remember
the big hume warn't finished when he
FIRST come to the camp. But anyway
he was the curiouSest man about, al
ways betting on anything that turned
no you ever see if he could get any
body to bet on the other side. and if
Ae couldn't he'd change sides. Any
way that suited the Other sids would
suit him. Just SOS he sCt bet he
vas satisfied.
But still he was lucky, uncommon
lucky. He most always come out win
aer. He was always ready and laying
tor a chance. There couldn't be no
soiit'ry thing mentioned but that fell
ks'd Offer to bet on it and take airy
side you please, as l was just telling
yo0. II there was a horse race you'd
dnd him flush or you'd find him busted
at tue end Of it; if there was dog
dght he'd bet on it; if there was a cat
light he'd bet on it; if there was
chicken fight he'd bet on it. Why. If
there was two birds setting on a fence
hr would bet you which one would fly
FIRST, or if there was camp meeting
10 would be there regular to bet on
Parson Walker, which he judged to be
the best exhorter about here, and so
be was, too, and good man.
III be even see straddle bug start
tp - anywheres he would bet you
Aow bong it would take him to get to-
70 Wherever he was so\g to. and II
yoa took him up he would foller that
straddle bug TO Mexico but what he
xaSsM find out where he was bound for
a1sff how long he was on the road.
Q.ssy Of the boys here has seen that
Smiley and can tell you about him.
Whw. it never made no difference to
Rfm-he'd bet nightingale dansest
Teller. Parson Walkers wife laid very
saea once for good while, and it seem
ed as IL they warn't going to save her.
But one morning he came in. and Smi-
ky sp and asked him how she was.
md he said she was considerable better.
aAank the Lord for his inf'nit mercy.
md coming on so smart that. with the
Aessing of Providence. she'd get well
ssa. And Smiley before he thought
aua Well. III resk 2.5O she don't
mgway. III
AsEssSah vor Smiley hnA II 0nnkD-lD