davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
THEY HAD TO BE "SEBENS"
'7ena's Method Of Reasoning In Mat
ter of Slippers Quite Plain TO
Those Who Understand.

'Bena was much excited over the
prospects of camp meeting that was
about to take place I'm her neighbor-
hood. For weeks she had been pre-
pairing gay and gaudy feathers for the
array. and now her outfit was COM
plete. save pair of mueh-desired pat
ent leather slippers. She approached
her mistress.
Mis- Ford" she said, Il sho' wants
20 git pair O. slippers TO de meetin'
commences, an | amt got a single
cent lef."
what size do you wear, 'Bena? ?"
asked her mistress.
Nah right numbah Is fo',' she re-
piled. but ! has TO weah sebens.
cause fo's hurts me dat bad | ies'
hatchery CANT hardly walk. "-Wo-
mans Home Companion.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07

man advised me to try Lydia z. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound and / got D
bottle. / felt better the next month -
took three more bottles of it and go5
well SO could work all the time. !
hope every woman who suffers like did
viii try Lydia E. Pinkharn's Vegetable
Compound. !" - Mrs. p. w. LANsEN0,
Route No. l, Florence, South Dakota.
Why will women continue to suffer day
In and day out or drag out a siclkly, half
hearted existence, missing three-fourths
of the Joy of living, when they can finA
health in Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound?
For thirty years it has been the stande
ard remedy for female ills, and has res
stored the health of thousands of women,
who have been troubled with such al"
ments as displacements, inflammation
liberation, tumors, irregularities, eta
If you want special advice write to
Lydia e. Pinkham Medicine Co. (conae
dentiaD Lynn, Mass. Your letter win
be opened, read and answered By .,
woman and held in strict condolences
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
Red Tame In France.

France is at once the paradise and
the inferno OF bureaucracy. For ex.
ample. | wanted the gas to be turned
on IN my fiat. Arnold Bennett writes
IN the Metropolitan. A simple affair!
Drop n postcard 10 the company tell
ing the company to come and turn 1t
on. Not at ALL was told that it
would be better to call upon the COM
pany. SO I called.
What do you desire, monsieur"
Il am the new tenant OF fiat. and
want the gas turned on
"Ah, You are the new tenant OF a
fat and you want the gas turned on.
Monsieur Chose. here Is the new ten.
ant OF fiat and he wants the gas
turned on. Where should he be led
TOT"
About a quarter of an hour. of this.
and then at last | am led by mu-
nicipal employee sure of his Job and
and OF his pension to the far distant
room OF the higher employ appointed
by the city of Paris to deal with such
az me.
food morning. sir.
Good morning. sir"
1T appears, sir Monsieur Bennay,
fourth floor. number 4. Rue de Calais.
sixth reimbursement is II not that
you want the gas turned on. Win you
put yourself to the trouble OF sitting
down. Monsieur Bennay?"
sit down He sits Aown.
"Ah' SO you want the gas turned
on Let US see. let US see %
Hundreds OF such applications must
be mSde every day. But the attitude
Of this ceremonious official might be
put into words thus "A strange and
interesting application OF yours. to
have the gas turned on! Very re
markable! II attracts me. The case
must be examined with the care and
tbs respect whicb Il deserves.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
NO EXPERT WITNESS NEEDED


Libel. indeed"
Old Miggs repeated the words TO
himself DULY and uncomprehending-
iy as he tramped along to the court.
where he was to appear as witness
IN local libel suit.
Neryously he entered the witness
box.
The fierce looking lawyer eyed him
calculatingly.
DO you swear" he asked, that this
IL not your handwriting"
u don't think So stammered
Nigga.
Now. be careful" insinuated tho
lawyer. Are you prepared to swear
that this handwriting does not resem.
BILE yours7"
YES. answered Miggs trembling.
You take your oath that this does
not In any way resemble your hand
writingz7 solemnly queried the
learned man.
Yves, SIR stammered the Witness,
now thoroughly frightened.
Well. then. prove I'll" denounced
the lawyer. triumphhntly. as he
thrust his head toward the witness.
This action woke the last spark OF
dropping courage In poor Miggs. and.
thrusting forth his head. he yelled:
Cos cant wrItsl"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
outspoken.

Mrs. Smiths four sons made the life
OF her old colored servant burden.
One day Uncle Andy was busy in the
garden hoeing corn, and for half an
hour Tom. the most mischievous OF the
quartet. had amused himself throwing
clods OF dirt at him. At last Andy
threw down his hoe and stamped indig-
nantly down to the house.
Miss Ella" he said. TO the little cul-
prit's mother, "Ah jes' has to tell yu
dat dat boy Tawm am de meanes' chile
yu got-an' All tells you TO yo' face
and tells you behine yo back"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07

The record for longevity is held by
the Garrett family OF Stranraer, Scot
land. the Oldest member OF which, Mr.
James Garrett, has just passed away.
Mr.. Garrett claimed TO be the oldest
fisherman in Scotland. A native Of
Stranraer, he was almost a hundred
years old His mother and father,
who were also natives of the district,
lived until they were one hundred and
one hundred and three years respec-
lively. His oldest surviving son is
now well over seventy years of age.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
The ranao In Church.

Mother, like countless other moth
ers. had been doing much tangoing
and hesitating Of late. She had taken
dancing lessons. She practiced the
various steps at home with father. Lit
tie Frances had heard much of the
lingo that goes with the tango. and the
hesitation. She knew all OF the
phrases.
A few days ago Frances went to
church with her mother. Frances had
not learned all OF the ceremonials of
this church for, after the mother knelt
outside the pew, Frances looked up at
her and whispered
Mother, what did you do the dip
or?"-Indlanapolis News.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07

When you poke toad, said old
Farmer fIornbeck. phiIoaophicaiiy.
Won cant tell which why he VIII
Jump. nor how far: an II Is Jest about
the same way with q jury.
THAT so7" returned young Jay
Green. ia noncommlttai way.
Yep. For instance. In the case Of
Punk Jarvis. who has jest been tried
over at Kickyhaaset courthouse for
pullin' out hls brother-In-law's wills
kera by the roots in q eight. the jury
discharged PUNK an fined bis brother
.niaw 10 cents. the regular price Of
shave Puck
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
snakna Got lila Ball.

II lost 1926 trying to XIII rattle
snakes, and now | am going 70 walk
back TO my home In Brooklyn" ex-
planned a man about forty-five years
old. who said he Is Ezra Sellen.
sclIen said he started for a walk
from his boarding place. encountered
= lot OF rattlesnakes. killed some. fed
from the others. waded a stream. and
then missed his roll Of bills. He said
he had Just money enough left TO ride
10 this city and took the state road
out OF town.--M Iddletown n. 70 D.s-
patch to New York World.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07

More than 20 per cent OF all fires
are caused by simple caselessnass.
which 10 unnecessary and criminal
Repairs TO dilapldated buildings, shs
REMOVAL OF al IRE breeding material.
care In burning weeds and rubbish.
the placing Of engines At a safe dis
saace from buildings. the removal Of
oily waste. proper ventilatiofi--in
hr:es. plain common sense, VIII mini
mise the danger from this class OF
slrea.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
Musical Note.

why is the scholarly-looking man
slamming down his windows SO
hard?"
II will tell you why. the scolarly.
looking man Is slamming down his
windows so hard"
"The scholarly-looking man Is
slamming down his windows so hard
because the hurdy-gurdy out in front
is playing the same tunes that he
paid five dollars to hear last night at
grand opera."-Judge.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07

Theodore Dresser. the reailst. said
OF an idsallst al the Players club In
New York.
The mans comments on life are
lndicrous and absurd They remind mo
Of the old lady's comment on the work
Of the militant suffragettes.
After tho suffrsg-ttss In London
had siashed a valeaauez. nellinl and
n oontlie. tho old lady said. with .
Kind OF sanity expression:
But. thank goodness. they're all
old pictures that are being sIashed.' :
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07

q wn pains an4
backache, and b 50
h g ad h e a good
deal of the time and
very little appetitA
The pains were %
bad that / used 70
sit right down On the
floor and cry, bes
GAUGE it hurt me -
and / could not Do
any work at those
times. An old wos
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
How To Give ouinine To Children

FEBRfLINE Is the trademark name given to an
improved Qunine II is Tasteiess Syrup. pleas
ant 20 take and does not disturb the stomach.
Children take Il and never know Il Is Quinine.
Also especially adapted TO adults who cannot
take ordinary Quinine. Does not nauseate nor
cause .nervonsnoas nor ringing In the head Try
II the next time you need Quinine FOR any pur-
pose. Ask for a-ounce original package. The
name FEBRiLiNE Is blown in bottle. as cents.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
Women Change Subject Too often7

Women Change SubIect TOO Oftenf
In the Woman's Home Companion
Margaret Bnsbee Ship, writing love
story entitled Sweet Margaret" pre-
eents a character who comments, as
follows, on women's conversation:
"T never had a sister, and / have
never known how to talk to women.
They embarrass me: they-er-
change the subject so often. never
seem quite to catch up"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07

What are you going to be when
you grow up, Jennie?"
I'm going to be an old maid"
AN old maid, dear, Why?"
cause don't think I'd like to
kiss man hundred times and tell
him he's handsome every time do
shopping. I'd rather earn money and
buy things for myself"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
A Mere Toy.

Silas-That city fellow follows his
vocation closely and yet he spends
all OF his time at play.
Hez-How does he manage that?
Silas-He leads string orchestra
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
Whenever You Need n General TOMB
Take Groves

The Old Standard Groves Tasteiem
chill Tonic is equally valuable as
General Tonic because II contains the
we'll known tonic properties of QUININE
and IRON. II acts on the Liver. Drives
out Malaria. Enriches the Blood and
Builds up the Whole System so cents.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07

stiiI in Vogue.

John Vincent Honeywell. the vetes~
an life guard OF Bar Harbor, was talHp
ing about bathing suits. They ten
me- said the wise old man. that tbs
girls II wear suits this summer to
match the eyes,"
He added with chuckle:
Suits to catch the eyes II still b
popular, too"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07

EnglIshman-The suffragetics sn
lric4 the prime minister thu morn
ing.
Amerlcan,-~DId they Are 81 guns?
Englishman--No. houses.--g~lfe.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
Late, but Good.

Miss Jinks-And where's your little.
brother today. Jimmy7
Jimmy fpointing to the snow-bailr
That's i'm, miss. He fell down AZ,
the top of the hill, and rolled down -
the bottom.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
Insatlate.

She--I notice that the suffragettes
are getting after George V.
He-Yes, and when they get him
they will not be satisfied until they
have the remaining four-fifths.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
Works Itself.

How do you suppose this craze
for motors comes to possess people?"
Il guess it's automatic"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
cure. Old Sores, Diner fsmedIss WON'T Cue.

The worst cases, no matter Of how long standing.
are cured by the wonderful. cid reliable DR..
Porser's Antisepuc Healing OIL. II relieves
Pain and Heals at the same time 25c. soc. ei.oo
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
The superlor sex.

One reason why man il superior to
woman is because man always
knows where he got his headache
Enquirer.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07

1, Il possible 70 be man OF many
parts BY trying TO be all the different
kinds of fool al once
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07

The people who are satisfied to put
1t off till tomorrow generally put 1t
of indefinitely.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07

English railways are considering en-
ploying electric engines.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
important 10 Mothers

Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORIA, safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that 1t
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
IN SUCH PAIN
WOMAN CRIED
Suffered EverythingUntiI Re.
stored to Health BY Lydia.
E Pinkham's Vegeta-
bic Compound.

Florence, So. Dakota. --"I used to D.
very sick every month with bearing
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-04-07
FARMER JAILs HIRED MAN.
Catches Alleged Thievins Employe ir
Novel Manner

Davenport April 7.-Caught in d
novel way, an employe, who had de-
frauded him, and who had stolen
large number of valuable articles from
him, Arthur Bergande was brought to
the county Jail here yesterday morn
ing and following trial before Justice
Phil Daum yesterday afternoon, was
given thirty day Jail sentence follow
ing conviction on larceny charge.
E. NJ. Burmeister, a farmer living
near Eldridge, and the employer OF
Bergande was riding into Davenport
on the train yesterday morning. Hap
pening to glance casually out OF the
window he saw Bergande walking
along the enbankment with a suit
case which Burmeister Immediately
recognized as HIS own.
He got; off the train at the next sta
ton, Oakton, and walked back along
the tracks, met Bergande. took him
back to Dakton, brought him to Dav-
export on the next train, and sewore
Out charge Of larceny against him
Bergande was tried before Justice
Phil Daum and found guilty. In ad-
ditton to stealing the suitcase anu
filing II with numerous valuable ar
ticies stolen from Burmeisters home
he had also purchased new suit
shoes; shirts and ties and meer-
schauIn pipe at the Fran Keppy store
at Donahue and had charged them TO
Burmeisters account.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-04-07
NEW CONGRESSMAN FROM SEC
oho DISTRICT TO RETIRE At
END OF TERM.
TELLS DEMOCRATIC LEADERS
HE WILL NOT BE CANDIDATE
Says Property interests Need His Per-
sonal Attention-Mrs. VolImsr Fails
to Take Kindly to Washington So
ciety-RepuhIicans Interpret With.
drawal to Indicate Fear of Defeat.

Washington. April Henry voll-
mer, of Davenport, who was elected to
congress to fill out the unexpired term
of Representative Irwin S. Pepper, in
the Second district of Iowa, will not try
for another election.
He will not be candidate he so
notified the democratic leaders in his
district. Mr.. Vollmer put his retire.
ment from the race on the ground of
business and the wishes Of his family
He has large property interests in Day-
export. Mrs. Vollmer has been in
Washington for month and the social
life of the national capitol does not suit
her, she says. The young daughter OF
Mr.. and Mrs. Vollmer also has been in
Washington and she has Joined her
mother in the appeal to Mr.. vollmer to
quit congress and return to their
beautiful home in Davenport with
which 1T is said congress hall can not
pegln to compare in point of elegance
However, republicans see in Mr.. Vol
mers decision not to run for congress
THIS year an act of political wisdom on
his part, for reports from the Second
district have been such as to make
them believe that any good republican
can be elected on the protective tariff
issue so dissatisfied are the farmers OF
the district with the workings of the
new democratic tariff act
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-04-07
TIMES REPUBLICAN, MARsHAILTowN. IOWA: APRIL 1911.

deferred on the selectiont Of city clark
The council will NEST every evening
this week 40 board Of review or
equalization. Mayor Newcomer re-
appointed w. A. cowell wsterworks
superintendent.
A baby girl Weighing eleven pounds
was born Saturday to Mr.. and Mrs.
Guy Mccall.
News reaches here Of the marriage
In st. Paul Saturday of Mr.. Fred
Sprain, of Eldora, to Mrs. Matte Max
son, Of that city. Mr. Sprain has for
years been prominent and prosperous
farmer living west Of town, and only
a year or so ago moved to this city
with his family. The bride 10 not un-
known to the citizens Of Eldora, hav-
Ing gone to school here in her girl
hood days. her maiden name being
Miss Matte West.
It is reported that Benjamin Atlas
who was indicted by the recent Hardin
county grand jury for forgery and who
was later paroled by Judge Wright
because of his youth and on account OF
the alleged statement that the young
man wanted to reform, has left this
section Of the country and his where
abouts are unknown. Under the terms
Of the parole Atlas is subject to ar
rest and then to be detained at the
Anamosa reformatory.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-04-07
COMPLETE WORLD TOUR.
A. p. Spencer Party Homo in .oska
loosa Altar Circlino Globe,

Oskaloosa. April, Mr.. and Mrs. A..
Spencer and daughter, Miss E. HELEN
Spencer arrived in Oskaloosa from a
tour of the world. They left Mrs. Liz
zie A. Birdsall, the other member Of
their party at her home in Davenport.
The party departed from Oskaloosa
Aug. IS, 1913, and arrived in New York
March IS. 1914. seven months to a day
and seven and a half months away
from home having made a total dis
lance between points of about $4,000
miles which does not include mileage
during their stops going about towns
and visiting points of interest.
Mr.. Spencer says they had a most
enjoyable trip. They maintained the
schedule planned before the start, did
not miss a connection nor a boat. did
not loose a piece of baggage and in
the whole distance did not experience
single mishap nor a mis-adventure.
Everywhere they met scores of Ameri-
cans enroute. moving both east and
west and the amount Of travel was the
wonder Of all. To secure hotel accom-
modations, advance communication
was necessary on account of the
crowds.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-04-07
GUARD CAMP IN DOUBT.
Iowa Militia May Not Accept suqaes
ton OF war Department.

Iowa City, April 7.-Plans for the
maneuver camp to be held in Iowa in
August this year were made at a meet
ing Of the advisory board of the Iowa
National Guard here yesterday. Altho
the war department suggested that the
maneuVers be held at Camp Dodge.
near Des Moines, three other cities of
the state will try to get the camp.
Col. r. P. Howell wants the camp to
be held near Iowa City. He pledged
himself to get the land and other
things needed. Gen. H. A. Allen put
in an invitation on behalf Of Cedar
Rapids, and Col. N. T. Hyatt suggested
Marshalltown as more nearly the CEN
ter of the Iowa guard territory. The
selection Of the camp ground was left
open.
According to the plans, all four of
the Iowa regiments are to go to the
naneuver camp, together with two Ne
braska regiments and one company
from the Twenty ninth United States
infantry from Texas City, Tex There
will be 5000 men in the combined
force.
The regiments will form two bril-
gades. which can be used -s'adVan-
tageously, the officers assert. The
members Of the Fifty-sixth Iowa regi-
ment, who had planned upon having
an independent camp. being outside OF
the Iowa brigade. will have to abandon
their arrangements.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-04-07
o7cHARD!srs, STAY IN IOWA.
Can Make More Money in Fruit Here
Than in Irrigated Districts.

III OISGTICtSs
Davenport, April 7.--"You can make
more money raising orchards on Iowa
land than in western states where the
orchard industry has had such a great
development" says Prof r. s. Herrick,
extension norticulturist Of Iowa State
College, who today began at Buffalo the
series Of spraying demonstrations to
be carried on tn all parts of the county.
The Ames horticulturalist pointed
out that the western grower has to
ship his fruit east to the Omaha and
Chicago market at a heavy expense
which the Iowa grower does not have
to meet, that land in Colorado and
other portions of the west brings a
much greater price than Iowa farms,
that the cost. Of irrigation is an added
item in the west and that orchards
there must be sprayed much more Of
ten than in Iowa.
Spraying seven times against three
in this country Is one Of the handi-
caps Of the western orchard grower
and this condition prevails notwith-
standing the fact that the pests against
which the Colorado man is fighting are
not as pernicious as those which trou-
BILE orchards in this. country. az
Many Iowa farmefxnaakoyth the mis-
take Of ssharing too large ansorchard,
says Professor Herrick Theysfreauent-
ly plant FIVE acres without Intending
to go into the commercial orchard bust.
ness For a home orchard this is
much stoo large A half acre well
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-04-07
BOY FINDS LOST FATHER.
Minneapolis Youth Ends Successful
Quest in Des Moines.

Des Moines. April Frank Dolan.
an 1s-year-old Minneapolis lad, ar
rived in Des Moines from Odebolt
In search of his father, whom he told
the police he had not seen in FIVE
years. "He left home about 1909" said
the boy, land I have not seen him
since. I want to find him and I want
you men to help me. Ny mother is
dead and am tired Of being alone"
The boy was penniless when he ar
rived at the station and he was given
lodging at the station. Yesterday he
in company with City Detectives Mac
Donald and MeKercher, started in
search Of the father, George Dolan
who, when last heard from, was said
to be in the employ Of the city rail-
way company and lived at 1902 Grand
avenue.
An hour later young Dolan rushed
into the police sergeant's office. his
face radiant with JOY, and Informed
the officer that he had found his father
at I'll Locust street. "Tve found him
I've found tim!" he cried as he grabbed
a little bundle which contained all the
clothes he has, and rushed for the sta
ton door,
Just think, I haven't seen dad for
five years and now I'm going right UP
to where he is" he told the sergeant
and as he left the room there was a
great blowing of noses and everyone
including the grizZled veteran of the
force, himself, was anxious to change
the subject
"Just another little melodrama on
the stage of life" muttered the officer
as someone started talking politics.