davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08
DER GERMAN COBBLER

You see how she vhas when ! first
opened my shop" said the German cob
bier, as he pegged away at a new sole
on a laborer's old boot. ''It vhas a
Chinese laundry on one side und a saloon
on der odder. und dot little tailor says:
1T vhas handy, like a pocket in a
shirt. You 20 on dot side for your beer
und dis side for your washing 1t vhas
no street car fare TO pay out"
Dot seems an right and I take der
place. 1 don't get my tools in der bench
yet When somebody opens der door und
looks in ind says i shall excuse him.
More ASH twenty people do dot in one
day. ] like to excuse a man, IL it pieases
him. but I don't see how she vhas.
shust open my shop on der second day
when a man comes in nit his hat on his
ear und calls out:
Hello, Jimmy. Put oop dot glass of
beer for me und be queek about her or
smash dot bar"
'I Yhas no saloon place" says 1.
But Why not" he yells. why you
moot some saloon avhay and don't speak
to me about il? 1 belief you vhas a
Dutchman und like to play some tricks
on me.'
Il speak softly to him und to explain
dot vhas some shoe shops. but he
kicks my bench oafer and would like 10
knock me down if i don't run oop stairs
He goes AWAY. and just begin work
again when a woman comes in. / belief
she haf some shoes TO mend, but she
don't. She hardly comes by der door
before she says:
''Ha! you tief of Chinamant 1 send
You four shirts TO washee and I don't
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

by George. Sammis, but this pleas ses
me. I'm no masher, but I've known for
week past that 1 had an admirer on
the fourth floor. I'll have her out to
dinner as a reward for this
The next morning 1 slipped a note I'M
der Mr.. Wassoon's door. 1t was a note
of thanks for his unselfish kindness, and
it took me two hours to compose 1t.
Late in the afternoon old Mr.. Graham
called ire in and said:
"Sammis, here is a box of chocolates.
1 wished them delivered to the person
who so delicately remembered me yes
terday. You need give no name. 1 think
the person will understand"
The chocolates went up to Mr.. Was
soon. He smiled like June morning,
but asked no questions 1t took me
three days more to get the conspiracy
down fine. but at length all was ready.
That is, Mr.. Wassoon and old Mr.. Gra-
ham appeared sim ultaneously on the
fourth floor as the clock struck u. AL
den was out to lunch. II was a couple
of minutes before they noticed each
others presence; Then Mr.. wassoon
looked at Mr.. Graham and uttered a
.'humph"' Mr.. Graham repaid him with
two "humphs!" Then Mr.. Wassoon said ::
There ought to be lynch law In this
country for certain old reprobates."
'And il there was you'd go up to a
limb before night" said Mr.. Graham.
At that moment Miss Alden camr out
to go 10 lunch. Both men smiled and
bowed. Both advanced. Both observed
in the same breath that Il would give
them the utmost pleasure to escort her
out TO lunch. She looked from one to
another in surprised way and then
drew herself up and said:
Permit me to pass. please. do not
know either one of your
She passed. She had been out of sight
two minutes before either of the men
had recovered from the shock. Then Mr.:
wassoon turned on Mr.. Graham ard
"You old viper of the jungle, but you
must have been poisoning this woman's
mind against mel"
"You cock-eyed buzzard of the plains,
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08
SHE HAD HIM ON
THE LIST

The female in the stage with US as
We set out for a siXty-mile drive across
section OF Kansas was a woman
about forty years old. fairly good look
ing, and she bit OF her words in a
brisk and Rusinesslike manner While
she readily entered into converse ton
with US, there was look about her
eyes which read as plain as any sign
board, Don't attempt any nonsense
with the undersigned" We had been
travelling about three hours when q
tire came of one OF the fore wheels.
All the men got out to aid the driver.
and we were hard at work when a
man crawled out OF a dugout about
forty rods away and sauntered I'M to
US.
Gentlemen" he said as he reached
the coach, Il see you have a female
passenger"
Yes" replied the driver
Married or single?'
Dunno"
Would you object to my asking her
the question. and, IL single, of Offering
her my heart and hand?"
He stepped back to the door, took off
his hat. and was about to saw some
thing when the woman descended to
the ground. She had notebook in one
hand and a pencil in the other. and she
wet the pencil point on her tongue and
Queried:
Name. please?"
Johnson"
How much land?"
Ninety acres"
''Your age.
"Forty-flve"
Very well. sir. very we'll You are
No. II on the list. Johnson forty y-fivc-
ninety acres-duGout-ten miles from
Hays City-July L. I have it straight
MIR. Johnson, and If the other ten should
20 back on me your chance is No. ]!
That's all, Mr. johnson. Good morning!'
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08
THE ELEVATOR BOY

One day a few weeks ago. just after
Mr.. Wassoon had moved into room No.
with his mining stocks, 1 stopped the
elevator at the fourth floor to see fight
between a telegraph boy and the barber
shop bootblack. I didn't hear any one
ring, but pretty soon Mr.. Wassoon c. e
down the stairs from the eighth floor
and he was fairly boiling over. He called
me a monkey, a young duffer, nuisance,
a liar and lots of other names, and as ]
took him up he grabbed me by the hair
and shouted:
You either at md to business or get
of the earthi I've lost thousand dol
lars by your fooling around, and I'd like
to break your worthless neck"
Yes. SIR" said.
Don't give me any back talk! The
idea of Rasher keeping kid like you
around here is something I won't stand.
I'll have you bounced tomorrow
Yes, sir: but I'm fatherless."
I'm glad of IT, though I'd like to be
a father to you for about ten minutes!
Boy. my name is Wassoon."
Yes, sir
u deal in mining stocks and am full
of business ] may possibly conclude
to let you stay on. but if 1 do you've got
to be a different kid. I'm the sta' tenant
of this slIy-scraper. The elevator is Tor
YOU are to tumble over yourself to get
up to the eighth"
FIe said 2 lot more and threatened me
till had a chill, and for three or four
DAYS ] was as humble as a cat Then i
began TO realize that my dignity as an
elevator boy had suffered, and that /
ought to do something to get even. i was
waiting for something to turn up when
I caught him making eyes at the as
sistant teacher in the school OF ste
biography on the fifth floor. think she
rather encouraged him, for the next day
he called me up and handed me a dozen
roses and said:
''Sammis. my name is Wassoon. and
am fulI Of business. but II is our duty,
no matter how much business we have on
hand, to let riffs ot sunshine into the
lives of others"
''Yes. sir; it be-
Should YOU happen TO see Miss Alden
Of the fourth, you can hand her this.
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08
BOWSER'S SURE REMEDY
But 1t Shall Not Be On Sale for Some Time

Mr.. fBowser was smiling when h,
opened the gate.
He was humming a gay air as he
| entered the house.
He gave Mrs. Bowser's ear a pinch
as she greeted him.
TT has been nice day." she said.
| "Bullyw
| Business been good?"
Tremendous.
And you have no rheumatism
| Not .darned bit!'
ALL through the dinner hour Mr.
Bowser was smiling and chatty.
] He even got on conundrum that
hadG been travelling around the world
since the Flood subsidized. -
Was Mrs. Bowser happy?
Did she bless her stars for sending
her such a mate?
Did she anticipate an old-time happy
evening?
Don't you gamble in the affirmative.
In fact. she was a bit scared. Mr.. Bow
ser was too good. His attitude meant
to her that he had something up his
sleeve. Some new scheme to spring.
She grinned now and then. but was all
the time wondering where the blow
would fall
1t came half an hour after dinner.
Mr.. Bowser had finished his cigar and
tossed the STUB among tner sofa pill
lows when he suddenly queried:
Il suppose we have a gallon kettle
in the Kitchen
Certainly" replied Mrs. Bowser.
but why should you want a gallon
kettle2"
DO you. know how many people die Of
consumption in America every year?" he
asked in return.
NO"
We'll the Number is close upon a mill
lion, and in all but a few cases death
eEsues because the proper remedies are
not obtainablc when the dread disease
is in its incipient stage. Out of every
fifty deaths by consumption forty-nine
are poor people, who are not saved be-
cause they have no honey TO buy a rem
edy.''
"WeT?''
We'll. II have a remedy
You have a cure for consumption
which you are going TO give away to the
pOor?"
That is it. Mrs. Bowser-thars the
idea. / can't save 'em all, you know,
but il can rescue 5000 of my fellow
creatures from death every year shall
feel amply repaid for the few dollars It
will cost l am going to make a cure
for consumption and distribute it free
gratis through drug stores and physi-
Clans
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

The birds and bugs make fun Of me.
oh. sage. because | am bObtaiIed 1t
was not half an hour ago that the beetle
fererred to he bobtailed bobby
from BohhysviIIc."
And what wOuldst thou?''
4 want tail. the same as the coon
and pOssum and woOdchuck''
Il see.
Il have given much thought. oh. sag.
and my tale is that l want a tail.
Well don't blame me IL things don't
turn out right Presto. change, and you
are no longer bobtaiI"
The Hare started for home with her
brush dragging behind her and was feel
ing very proud and vain over the aCQuI-
stion. when a Fox espied her and CAV.
chas". She reached her bJrrow ard
dived into it. but alas. her tail stuck
out and he seized it and dragged her
forth and devoured her.
MORAL:
Let well enough alone. whether it's
long gtailcd or bobtailcd.
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08
The Suspfcious Goat.

A wolf one day discovered a goat in
the lot OF his masters barn. where he
could not be got at. and he therefore
smilingly announced:
81 beg pardon for having disturbed
you. but came to say that | have llteIy
reformed Come down and let's talk Il
over"
Not this eve replied the goat. rs
he chawed at an old pair Of overaiis.
Then you distrust me-
On. no. no. I'm simply waiting for
a lamb to come along and test the sta
bii.ty of your reformation
MORAL:
Few rascaIs reform except Cor their
own profit.
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

point. Then doRt give my name right
out, but hint at it. My sole object is to
let the poor girl understand that some
one in this cold and cruel world svm-
pathizes with her.
l took the bouquet down to old Mr.
Graham on the fourth floor and handed
il softly in and told him he could rely
on me to keep still. The slip of pancr
said that the bouquet was from one who
admired at distance. and the old man
smiled all over as he said:
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

and grandest sentiments Of the human
heart. do so. but do il with dignity. You
object to my saving 500 human lives per
year. do your
81 do"
You want me to go my way without
care while a million of my lIow-beings
are marching to their graves"
Yes. sir"
And not extend hand to draw one
of them back"
Not a hand, You'd better attend right
to your own business and let the doctors
look out for consumptives."
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08
MORAL:
The sage and the Hare.

Once upon a time the Hare went to
the Sage with tears in her eyes and be-
gan:
oh, Sage. my feelings are being hurt
from day TO day. and / have come to
beg a great favor of you"
Well, what is it, he asked in reply
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

Just do it casually, Sammis, as if it were
accidental. Here is a slip of paper on
which is written a few words. 1t goes
with the bouquet. There is no name
and she will probably press you TO know
who sent the flowers"
But 1 will resist the pressure, sir"
We'll, yes; that is, up to a certain
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08
The Fox and the Earmrr

One day the fox approached the farmer
who was working in his field. and after
salutng him with great show of hearti-
ness and friendship, observed:
II have called to have a talk with you
on certain matters. For many moons
have been panied at Your want of conf
dence in me. Why is it that you dis
trust me-"
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

was not agreeable. and the taste did not
suit his palate.
while It Is the duty Of a consumptive
to swallow a cure without kicking" he
unused as he looked about the pantry. II
might as well mix in something TO tickle
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

Mr.. Bowser stood and glared at her
for full minute. His face flushed. his
ears twitched, and his Adams apple
worked up and down like a toy monkey
on stick. He had just drawn a long
breath to utter a yell when he checked
The Cairo bulletin., 1914-10-23
Joint ON WALNUT
NEAR Fourth
Street RAIDED
Stranger Claims to Have Reel Rob-
bed of $l90--Inmates All
Arrested and Fined.

As the result CT q stranger named
Allensworth being relieved OF $10G
IN a house on Walnut street near
the corner OF Fourth street Wedncs-
day night, The inmates Of the place
were arrested and were tried in the
police court yesterday afternoon.
Arthur Crimes was fined $25 and
costs for keeping a disorderly
house: Theodore Wise, who recently
returned from panville where he
las been il, the U. S Jail, was held
on an old stay Of $5C aud Leo Cram
dali, Doris Wise, Bessie Bottom and
Naude Grimes were each fined $40
and costs. 'rhs statement Is made
that Allensworth was "roped" into
the house by Grimes and relieved
of his money by Doris Wise.
The Cairo bulletin., 1914-10-23

Mineola, N, Y, Oct. 22.-Mrs.
Florence Corkling Carman took the
witness stand in her own defense
today, in the Supreme Court and en-
tered a denial of the charge that
she murdered Mrs, Louise Bailey.
She went over the story of Celia
Coleman, the negress in her employc
1t tho time of the tragedy in the
Carmen home. III Freeport. last
June, and declared false every ac-
cusation made against her by the
Coleman woman in her testimony
Yesterday. Mrs. Carman called the
negress testimony fabrication
from beginning to end Mrs. Car
men responded willingly, and SEEM
ingly with entire frankness to the
questions of her attorney. The de-
meanor was that of a woman hav-
ing complete command of herself.
She will undergo cross examination
tomorrow.
The Cairo bulletin., 1914-10-23
WILLIAM LOR|NER
INDICTED ON IS
counts BY JURY

Chicago, Oct. 22.- William Lori
mer, former occupant of the seat
in the United States Senate, John
X. Seagravc. chief clerk in the Of
fee of the State Auditor and twelve
officers and employees in the Lori
mer chain 1f banks of which the de-
funct LasalIe Street Bank was the
head, was indicted in the state court
today.
Thirteen true bills. charging con-
spiracy to ruin the bank, operating
a confidence game, embe2zlement
and larceny were returned Among
the others indicted we're Charles
Munday, vice president of the La
Sale Street Bank, Thomas McDon
aid, cashier and Charles Z. Fox, Jr.,
vice president.
The chief indictments allege the
mulching of the LaSaIle Street Bank
Of S2,000,000 in money and securi-
ties. Lofimer Mcdonald, FOX ana
Seagrave were defendants and we're
charged with tonspiring, by false
pretenses, to appropriate to their
own use. property Of the public and
depositors and creditors of the
banks in the Lcrimer chain.
These banks were the Broadway
State Bank. The Ashland Twelfth
Street Bank, The Illinois State Bank.
The state Bank of Calumet, The
Farmers Bank of Bethalto. H.. The
Citizens Bank of Alhamhra. ILL.,. The
State Bank of Moline. ILL.,. The State
Hank of Ottonese. Ill.,. and the Rose
Hill Cemetery Company,
"a
The Cairo bulletin., 1914-10-23
FRANK STOCKDAlE
TONIGHT At THE
\. N. \. c. HALL
VIII Deliver His Talk to Calro As
sociation of Commerce. -Busi-
ness Men Invited.

A luncheon and smoker will be
one Of the side attractions tonight
at tho Knights of the Mystic krew
] all. on the occasion OF the lecture
by Frank Stockdale on THE Spirit
of the Hive" under the auspices Of
the Cairo Association of Commerce
The meeting will be called at s
o'clock and all the live wires as
well as the dead ones will be bene-
hted by listening to the excellent
talk by Mr.. Stockdale.
This will be the first general get
together meeting of the Association
of Commerce since its organization,
The Cairo bulletin., 1914-10-23
Was at Dinner When He Received
, Attack Which Caused Death
T. 3 Hours Later.
IN CONTINUOUS SERVICE
j ILL. CENTRAL As YEARS
And a Resident of Cairo So Years.
/ Has Been Street Inspector
| Since June |, 1918.

r. David Holmes, Ct years old,
suffered stroke CT paralysis yester-
day at noGn and died at 4:27
o'clock at his home 1903 Poplar
dinner anil while in the act of lift
ing food to his mouth.
T. D. Holmes was born in Prince
ton, New Jersey. August III, 1917.
At tho age of 8 years his parents
moved to Chicago, where he was
placed In school and at tho age of
IS he was employed by Potter PAL
mer as cash hoy in the Wholesale
and retail house, the largest store
in Chieagc. Later he was transfer
red to the silk wagon. which he
drcve, until 1861 when his parents
moved to Cairo.
sfcrn he entered u private school
IN o building situated where the
German Lutheran church now
stands ON Douglas street. After II
common education he went to work
for his father whc conducted
restaurant on Ohio street In the
building north Of the present Plant
ers hotel Here he worked until
the ieoth Of his father in 1865. He
next went to work for Troyer. lTo-
mans & Co, in the old yellow ware
house, where he had charge until
October, 1857, when he went to
We rk for The Illinois Central Rail-
n ad and renamed with that COM
pGnv In the freight department for
f5 years owing to his age he was
retired from the Illirois Central
service, June /, 1912 with liberal
pension.
IL Arril 1913 he was employed
by tho city as street inspector and
held that position up to the time
of his death
He leaves his wife, formerly Miss
Zeba Jones' whom he married June
g., 1n'a aud one son Alfred age II
years and and daughter age II
years. He also leave three sisters.
Mrs. Mary Lefferts of New York
City, Mrs. Jennie Haynes >f Ripley.
Tenn, and Mrs r. A. Cunningham
of Mounds.
lie was member If Saford
Lodge nj Cdd Fellows, l'arthenia
Reockah Lodge and the Knights If
Honor. He was a IN mamDcr NJ tn
Church of the Rednemcr
Funeral ARRANGEMENTS wilt not he
made unit! relatives from distance
have been heard from.
The Cairo bulletin., 1914-10-23

sIDELIGHTS CLEANED
FROM THE WAR NEWS

msterdam-Thirty- eight thous-
and iron crosses of the first and sec
ond classes have been distributing
since the war began, according to n
Message from Berlin.
etrograd-Warsaw is now en-
tirely dry" the authorities having
prohibited the sale of spirits, wines
and beer, even at first class restau-
rants.
London--A we'll konwn Italian
restaurant here has the following &
item or its menu, Spezzatino ALA
MiIanese fformerly Vienna Sehnit-
aell
The Cairo bulletin., 1914-10-23
General Won MOLTKE
CHIEF GENERAL STAFF
SAID TO Be DYING
Fresh German Troops are Arriving in Belgium
in Large Numbers-Berlin Says Battle
Near Lille Has Been Very Severe and
the Enemy is Retreating Claim Ger
man Troops Have Advanced Successfully

Amsterdam (via London) Oct. 22-"The shells
of the allies are raining down upon the Germans,
and causing terrible destruction says CORES
pondent of the bombardment of Ostend and Nieu.
port "The battehelds are covered with bodies,
but fresh German troops continues to arrive A
French squadron is supporting the English war
ships which the German gunners have difficulty
in reaching The German cavalry is useless,
and are being moved down"
The Cairo bulletin., 1914-10-23
To Protect Themselves Against FALL
ing Birth Rate and Telling
Death Rate.
FEES FOR MARRIAGES
HAVE BEEN REDUCED
Gold Wedding Rings Are Done Away
With Iron Rings Substituted
for the Ceremony.

London, Oct 23.-t Correspond
ence of the Associated Press.
Aroused by the positive steps taken
By Germany and Austria to protect
themselves against falling birth
rate and the telling death rate in
cidental to the war. England In now
cncclra ging the marriage of recruits
soon to go on foreign service.
At the suggestion of the Arch
bishop of Canterbury the diocesan
bishops of the Church OF England
have made marked decreases in the
fees charged soldiers for marriage
licenses and clergyment throughout
the island are waiving their person
al fees.
In Germany and Austria fees for
marriages were waived entirely
whore soldiers and sailors were IN
able to pay and in many cities
clcrgymen married the warriors and
their swcothcarts in large companies
where the hasty departure of troops
made it impossible for separate cere
monies to be held
Gold wedding rings were done
away with and iron rings substitut-
ed for the ceremony. Then the
married wcmen who already ha6
gold wedding rings offered them as
contributions to the war fund and
replaced them with rings similar f
those worn by the war brides.
German officials frankly discussed
the necessity for the marriage OF
soldiers and urged immediate cere-
monies upon young women az a pa
triotic duty Tre war brides were
ohecrCd witt much enthusiasm and
the churches were crowded when
the large wedding parties spoke the
ceremony in concert.
Although tie number Of women
IN England far exceeds thai of men
the volunteer army is comparatively
small hero and most of ths recruits
are not trained soldiers Immediately
available for fcreign service. Con
scquently there is not the pressing
demand for immediate marriages
here that existed on the continent
Still she governments realizes the
errible drain the war will make ON
the verile manhood If Great Britain
and is quietly encouraging recruits
TO marry.
The Archbishop CT Canterbury is
cndeavor'ng to have the government
waive the stamp fee of two dollars
and half which it imposes on each
marriage certificate and diocesan
bishops have reduced the marriage
.icerse fec to two dollars and half
in the ease of soldiers ard sailors of
limited means. Formerly it cost
ten dollars to procure marriage
license properly stamped by the
government. The ccst is now five
dollars and the Archbishop of Can
terbury hopes to have it lowered to
two and half dollars through the
withdrawal of the stamp tax of the
government. Clcrgymen now waive
their personal fee in the case of
soldiers.
German officials presented to
The young women of the empire the
slight chance they would have for
matriTory after the departure of
their soldier sweethearts and called
attention to the pension paid to war
widows for the support of them
selves and their children.
Nearly half million recruits are
ouartered in camps scattered
throughout England. This new
army of Kitcheners probably will
not be sent to the continent for at
Concluded on Page Two,l
The Cairo bulletin., 1914-10-23
RECEPTION TO
PASTOR AND WIFE
BY METHOD|STS

The reception given last night by
The Congregation of the First Meth
cdist church to meet and greet the
ehurch's new pastor Rev. ]. W.
Cummings and wife, was well at
tended, not only by the members
of the congregation but many
friends of the church and its peo-
ole. The affair was neld in the
north annex of the church and with
cal conversation the evening was
most pleasantly spent and all be-
came better acquainted with Rev.
Cummings and his estimable wife,