The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-04-10
ON THE FUNNY BONE.


Willie-"Paw, what are narrowing
details?" Paw-"The box score OF
the game after the home team loses,
my son '-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Diner-'I think Ill try some fish
today" "Bluefish or white
Inn color blind boston Transcript.
is she very much in love with
him." Very. She still believes ii ID
the other fellows fault when he stays
out late at night detroit Free
] Press
He-"People are saying that you
money" She-''Nonsense The reason
was that I had no money myself
I London Opinion.
! you ought to 60 to a show and
forget your troubles That's right.
Maybe can find show tonight that
will make me forget the one 1 saw
last night. "-Washingt Star.
4 Have you any five-cent cigars?"
asked the man. NO" replied the
druggist, but we have something ust
as good Here's 1O-cent cigar
Y New York World.
N When a girl il really trying to
catch man she gets him to 60 shop
ping with her, and then makes most
or her purchases in the 10-cent store.
Washington Herald.
II
BE warned in time. Don't you
know that girl smokes, drinks and
CANDLES at bridge?" II know. I am
going to marry her to reform her."
louisville Courier-Journal.
Bridget, were you entertaining a
man i'm the kitchen last EVENING""
We'll, mum, that's for him to say.
Oh done me best wild the materials at
hand, mum."-London Tit-Bits.
What il a cabaret?" asked the
man from the country. "a cabaret"
replied the host, lis restaurant in
which they have fred the cook and
hired a dancing master" Washing
ton Star
He is the most tender-hearted man
ever saw" Kind to animals?" III
should say SO. Why, when he found
the family cat insisted On sleeping in
the coal bin, he Immediately ordered
a ton of soft coal."-Buffalo Express.
THE spring fashions for women
will be a revelation" says a Paris
! dispatch. In view of all that the
fashions last spring revealed, the
forecast is startling enough to take
ones breath away.-New Orleans
States.
'If you could have your chu1ce,"
she asked, what would you take
fame or fortune?" Fortune he re-
piled without a moments hesitation
! Fame gets man nothing on auto
mobile Chicago Record-Herald.
a Milwaukee burglar became a
tango teacher and married a girl
pupil. The craze for the effeminate
tango will die out, but by the manly
art of climbing porches he will sup
port the girl.-Louisville Courier
Journal.
Ktty-"Jack told me last night that
was the prettiest girl he'd ever
seen" Ethel-"Oh, that's nothing;
he said the same to me year ago."
Kitty-'I know that, but a. one grows
older ones taste improves, you know"
Boston Transcript
Doctor, do you ever prescribe by
telephone?" asked the young mother.
"Oh, yes" answered the doctor over
the wire. We'll, I'll hold baby up to
the instrument. Please look at his
rash and tell me what to do."-LJuis-
vile Courier-Journal.
Judge-"You say you saw the pris-
oner strike the complainant. On what
provocation? Witness-"Why, he
pulled out roll of bills, your Honor"
Judge-"And you mean to say the
prisoner struck him for that?" Wit
ness-"Well. he struck him for some
Of Washington Herald.
District Visitor-"And how are you
today, Mrs. Jones?" The Patient
Not at all badly, thank you, md'am.
The doctor is doing his best. I've
told him there will be nobody to pay
him unless + get WE'LL Cardiff
Western Mail.