South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-01-26
TATESMEN
REAL AND NEAR
by FRED c. KELLY.

BY FRED c. KELLY.
Rep. Henry d. Clayton. OF Alabama.
occupies one OF the most elaborate
and spacious Office suites about the
capitol. HIS main room is large
enough for a moving picture theater.
Now, il is perfectly all right and
proper that Clayton should have a
comfortable abiding place during MS
working hours. He is the chairman OF
the committee on judiciary, which is
fixing TO draw up a fine new set o.
antitrust laws And when one sets
out TO regulate trusts the least one
can ask for Is elbow room. The item
OF offices would not be mentioned
here at all except to show that if
one will just be of good cheer-or
even IL one is not Of good cheer, but
sticks around-one may get what one
desires in the end.
The question of Offices is deeply
woven into the warp and wOof OF
Clayton's more recent career. A few
years ago when the house Office build
( ing was first built, members OF the
house assembled one day TO draw
numbers out OF a hat. Each member
had first looked over the fine new
! building and picked out the room he
most wanted, and also a few less at
tractive rooms to fall back upon for
! second or third choice. They drew
| lots with much Formally. and mem
| Der had bis pick OF the offices &C
cOrding to the number he got.
Ii was not Clayton's lucky day. One
! by one he saw the choicest rooms
marked off by men who had not been
| in congress half as long as he had. BY
the time IL came his turn to make Sc
| lection the only rooms available were
/ dreaTy basement rooms, the very
] thought of which filled Clayton with
! gloom.
His disappointment was keen. He
/ freely admitted that the drawing had
| been perfectly fair. but that did not
allay his regret and distress of spirit.
You may think the mere matter of
an office location is a small matter.
! and perhaps it is, but when you have
! your heart set on a thing. you want
/ it, don't your Going to a circus is
| trivial thing. maybe, but you remem-
/ Der how you used to feel If you missed
one. 1t was the same way with Clay
ton. He was inconsolable. All was
woe and desolation and he could see
! no daylight ahead. All the rest of
/ that session of congress he kept FUN
ing and fretting about his Office ar
rangements and was morOse man.
Then he engaged in another draw
| ing, but this time il was not for an
office room, but I'm the matrimonial
| lottery. And his luck had turned He
not only got his first choice, but a
beautiful and charming woman. I'M
mediately he began to take great
! interest in life once more and COM
planned no further about his woeful
office location. His friends and foes
alike breathed a sigh of relief.
Today Clayton has nothing that
gives him more joy than the con-
suite that is his. He is cheerful glee-
full, optimistic, almost merry all the
livelong day. And If so little thing
as mere office arrangement can
shed so much sunshine and gladness
into the life of a toiling statesman,
who would say him nay?
Rep. Frank E. Doremus. chairman
OF the democratic congressional COM
mittee, used to run a little weekly
newspaper in Michigan. The paper
was not particularly prosperous and
the plant did not even include a paper
cutter. DOremus had to cut his print
paper into the proper size with
jackknife.
But though the paper lacked GER
tain mechanical equipment it had
whirl-wind of an editorial writer.
Doremus was it.
His specially was writing about the
tariff. He was IL years of age and
had once written an essay on the
tariff for a high school literary So
ciety. He therefore agreed to be the
local authority on tariff matters. When
| his paper had been going for about
a week. DOremus burst forth in a
column editorial. 1t was about the
tariff.
The next day the probate Judge of
the county came in, threw a copy of
the paper on the counter and ordered
his subscription stopped.
And / was the happiest man in
town." says Doremus, for / had
found another person besides myself
who took me seriously"
one day a husky tramp printer,
working on Doremus paper, got drunk
and came TO the office in an ugly mood.
Get out of here" ordered DOre-
mus I'm give you just one minute
| TO get OUT
The man did not move.
IF YOU don't go out I'll throw you
out" declared Doremus, though the
man was twice as big as ne. You've
got a minute to get out and 80 sec
onds OF your time is already up"
For some strange reason the man
got up and moved out.
What if he hadn't gomez" they
asked Doremus.
WELL" answered Doremus, 81
suppose 1 would simply have had to
| give him an extension OF time"
An American traveller who recently
! returned from a trip TO England was
telling here the other day about
surprisingly frank confession made TO
him by Gilbert X. Chesterton, the
! English author.
Are you a socialist ?" inquired the
| American.
"Ah. you must appreciate" replied
| Chesterton. that IL would not do for
both George Bernard Shaw and my
SELF to be socialists. We must be in
| a controversial attitude in order IN
make people buy what we write"
Copyright. 1914, by Fred c. Kelly
All rights reserved.)
- <xUWE<<xtzr