davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening world., 1914-01-05
sSSSAASSSsS*S*xS xSSxSS ~ 1888 SSaSSIs
Mr.. Jarr Assists in the Theft
Of High-Power Racing Auto


starting crank and with . mighty effort
turned 1t over.
spin II! Spin it!' cried DR.. Gilbert
Quinn. impatiently. Just turning 1t
over once won't start IT,
Yes; why doesn't he start it?" asked
Miss Irene Cackleberry impatiently.
The Japanese valet may be back any
noment. Oh. dear! Why Is he SO stu
pid?"
She meant why was Mr.. Jarr so stu
pid. Mr.. Jarr wasn't stupid, but he was
no Sandow. Yet under the eyes OF the
soothing Miss Cackleberry Mr.. Jarr
would not let any one think he couldn't
start an automobile. especially as DR..
Gilbert Quinn, the demon dentist.
pulled Mt a good cigar which he had
deftiy culled from Mr.. Jarrs upper
left waistcoat pocket and regarded the
latter's herculean labors at the crank
with airy contempt.
Easy does II. old top. Easy does II!
Spin 1t 'round!" advised Dr. Quinn.
II the crank had been detachable Mr..
Jarr would have plucked 1t of and
Drained the demon dentist. As 1t wal
he made one N ore mighty effort. and
then. with roar and q splutter oil
sparks. the engine burst into a loud
series OF explosions. and Mr.. Jarr found
himself lying on the curb against the
; Iamp-post. The high powered engine
had clicked back"
| "Oh. get out OF the way.' said DR.
Gilbert Quinn impatiently. why vii
people butt In when they only Gel
things all tangled up?"
And as he accidentally hit the switch
OF the self-starter as he went to get GU
OF the machine the engine started AGAR
this time in the right direction. Ant
the last Mr. Jarr saw of DR.. Gllbcr
QUINN and Miss Irene Cackleberryf to
gether with the 120-horse-power racinl
car. was the machine and occupant,
turning the corner at Gus's by a shor
cut over the sidewalk that drew Tony
bootblack establishment from its moor
ngs and out into the centre Of the ave
nue.
With roar and a clatter the racinI
car ged on. Miss Cackleberry's shrek
II delight ringing In Mr.. Jars ears q
he lay by the lamp-pos and counte,
the stars the "kick back" caused him 4
zee.
where did dey go Wit de boat p
cried a hoarse voice.
"Ah. eukkotashi. the Jap valet! Jacl
siiver's Jap valet" murmured Mr.. Jar
Jap nix, valet muffin. I'm a deput,
sheriff what's replevined the car fron
'e four-fiush near-minionaire!" was tn
reply.
Upstairs the rsvelry at Mrs. Jarr'
tango party was At it, height.
The evening world., 1914-01-05


drop OF II touched 'em. Well, went
to the dancing club. didn't /? And
learned those fool dances YOU'RE 70
crazy over. And l danced EN-. AID
NOW look at me!
Mrs. B.-Nou seemed to enjoy them.
You danced ali evening. l. warned
you-
Mr.. B.-Danced? Call that dancing?
We did real dancing In MY dancing
days. Waltzes. polkas. galops.
schottishes. two-steps, the York, and
say. didn't ] dance all right last night!
Mrs. B.-why. yes. You
Mr. B.-I did not. Graeco-foman
wrestled. That's what I did. That's
all the new dances area cross be-
| tween catch-as-catcn-can and the
Struggle on the Clir. And that In.
human dance with the dip in II! What
| dye miscall It? The Kitchen Sink?
Knees don't dip enthusiastically after
forty.
| Mrs. B. warned you to he careful
| told you the tango was no dance for an
| elderly man.
| Mr.. B.-No. and the grizzly bear 10
no dance for an elderly bear, for that
matter. Any bear that was forced TO
do 1t could get redress from the 8. p. a
A. Whereas. L
Mrs. B. (seeking tactfully to change
the subject)-Here's a letter from
! Rosalie. She wants us to run out there
for the weekend.
Mr.. B. (howling)-"Rmn out?" RUN?
I'll be playing In egregious luck II I'm
ever able to walk again Lemms 80
her letter. (Snatches 1t and reads. At
the end Is the following postscript:
Were planning a dance for Saturday
night. We're just daffy over the new
dances.")
f., Mr.. B.-Tell her we'll go.
Mrs. B.-You-you can't have read ne
postscript.
Mr. B. (grlmly)-I did. That's wav
we're going.
Mrs. B.-But you're poor feet?
Mr.. B.-The tango's done a lot 70 ny
poor feet. But it's nothing to what IT'S
done to my poorer brain. I'm bittep ~
1t Just as badly as the rest Of you. Feet
or no feet, I've got to do 1t. Ny fssk
say NO" But my head says 90 70 lt!'
And maybe by Saturday night I'll b
able to invent a Crutch Glide Tell Asr
We'll so.
" Mrs. D.-What on cnrth?-
The evening world., 1914-01-05
PUBLIC PESTS-NO. 8.

1VVHE Man With Rage for Regulating His Friends
There people who will never be friends with you
y - unless they run you.
What you shall eat what shall whom shall how
yu shall conduct Your busnesa these things the born regulator
takes upon himself with slacrity and enthusiasm
His ccnveraon consists chiefly Of "Do this "Try ha and
sT1 guarantee that and 80 is just what you need"
Whenever you meet him his main interest you TO hear how
~ ideas working You valuable to him long you do
~ tails ~
Tha when he has got running according to his schedule
- 70 he res Of you AM begins regulate somebody else
They often wethee regulators Good intentions alas
- bsttsn u much pssHssEeusasssl
The evening world., 1914-01-05

Co. cThe Now York Evening World.
To crack of the post midnight ice,-
Oh! what to MI hours that are drasRtng
Shall our burdened vice censors mar
What fresh form OF curative narginR
Shall busy Sir Flx-.t. his mind?
When dead IL the last Haunting passion.
When scandals thing well forgot,
When Prudence allies with DANE
Fashion
And marriage no more goes by tot
On! VINO Tor our social debaters
Shall furnish a palpltant themsf
On what food shall our problem abatspo
Still nourish their night narish drsaSneS
IN that day when the world spells -.
lection.
When banished are hunger and ayenR,
When life. an angelic CONNECTION,
Shall match every Iced with reNsI-
May 1t not be, aside from these biau,,
ings.
Almost worth our while to be se.a,
With the csnsors and all their sSsseD,
ings
Quite lost In the virtuous woeAV :.
Z 1890
The evening world., 1914-01-05
49, 7{}S$2!:y0o6U~>

racer""
Being a regular or union Patsy Boil
liver, however. Mr.. Jarr did not make
the scathing reply he thought OF when
too late. No: he followed DR.. Gilbert
DUNN and Miss Irene Cackleberry down
the stairs and away from Mrs. Jars
high society tango dance and reception
and the spiked claret punch.
Close to the curb stood the great gray
machine. Walking up and down beside
It was q th!ckset. dark skinned young
man.
us that the Jap valet Sukkotashi?"
whispered DR.. Quinn. Get him away.
We've come down to give Jacks racing
car the once over" DR.. Quinn added
aloud. "Must he cold waiting. Ed. Give
Sukkotashi n ,.o!!"- and let, him 20 to
Gus's and get hot Scotch"
Such Is the power OF the initiative that
Mr.. Jarr yielded up the dollar. He
afterward remembered that Gus's pop
ular price for hot Scotches was II
cents.
"Oh, I'm Just crazy to ride In 4 racins
The evening world., 1914-01-05
Hits From Sharp Wits.

II ito he idle IN TO die some men
must have more lives than y cst,-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Slander In not vOlcc!ess, even at the
grave. 1t 10 now whispered that Robert
Louis Stevenson parted his hair In the
middle. Columbia State.
The Roman virtue OF Brutus Furnishing
his son was reversed lately in West
Virginia. where a magistrate fined his
grandfather for getting drunk.-Baltl-
more American.
VIII somebody tell us what has be-
come OF the oid-fashioned girl who
used TO make her sweetheart a Christ
mas present OF pair OF velvet slippers
with hand embroidery on thcm?-New
Orleans States.
wanted-To learn a graceful quick
step for lodging the income tzx.-Mii-
You can. avoid duty NV taking a by
path.-chicagO News.
In Pennsylvania q minister was saved
from death by Bible carried In his
pocket. Al the same time It 10 reported
SOME 10000 Bibles we're disposed OF In
New York last year. Our provincial
metropolitans are evidently DOMINIC
armor against the gunner. -Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
4 Baltimore traveller accuses Boston
women OF being able 10 talk on but Oh
topics--ths weather. divorce. Christisr
Science. the race problem. the civil VA
and scandal,-Augusta Chronicle.
|
Or. Woods Hutchinson eommsntI
isAynsdiy on the secret Of badness whsr
, everybody knows baidnsss can't b KEEP
. esessG-ClsveiaaA Plata psaase, 80.
The evening world., 1914-01-05

rnwearied. Enter. a horrible figure that
hobbies along like a blend Of the Miss.
Ing Link and Gaspard the Miser.
Mrs. b. Tin dismay)-What on earth.
Cyril?-
Mr.. B.-Lemme be! All I ask Is q
chance to sit down somewhere and put
my feet In my lap and pet them while
l hear their side of the story.
Mrs. B.-What on earth?-
Mr.. B.-You lenme be. I tell you. I
never knew I had half so many feet.
Gee. but I'd buy a framed testimonial
for the guy who'd teach me to walk on
my hands! I'm going to sing q lullaby
10 my feet II I can get 'em to stop
aching a minute and listen to me.
Mrs. B.-What on earth?-
Mr.. B.-That makes three times you
said 1t. Don't be a measiy cuckoo clock
with near-Swlss trimmings; but rifle
the deck and see II YOU can't think of
something sympathetic TO say.
Mrs. B.-Well. It's all your own fault,
Cyril. and
Mr. B.-Thanks for them kind words.
They help q lot. ] knew II I appealsl,
to your tenderer side Wow! Ouch
Help!
Mrs. B.-What on earth?-
Mr.. b. (sinking into his chair)-Noth.
Ing. just stood on 'em both at the
game time. They aren't used to It, Nc
coffee. thanks. Gimme some morphia.
and-cream with little chaser OF
laudanum.
Mrs. BIZ all this silly fuss 10 be-
cause you happened to dance a few
times last night
Mr. B.--"Happened?" 1t was because
you've been hectoring ME and Margins
me for months to 20 to your dodgastet
old dancing club with you. Well.
went, didn't I? And my feet
Mrs. B.-Why don't YOU battle then
| in hot water, and
M. B.-'Cause the poor things woult
The evening world., 1914-01-05

800 DIE eghtyfour after busy productive life that bore
prime fine fruit Of science and long after middle age
kept towering with delightful literary sbundancy of mag
nston and wisdom is given to few
Dr. Michele contributions to the study Of diseases
placed him high among scientific workers of this country and
ths world "Hugh Wynne, published when he sxtynine
sn the bestowed Of the which put him among the favo
deiy.wrters OF America.
His historic Of the happiet his smpates and inter
nnumerab his wisdom kindly and psaab TO the very las
yeass his life mrd persistent
s1 in LETTERS his bodily presence sturdy and inspiring example
- old and young.
fashionable who used to be asked dinner good dea
Ancient penned rather pert advice about
killing the old horse with timely consideration and good
g We can Dr. Mitchell smiing at Horace.
The evening world., 1914-01-05

At the moment when DR.. Eliot president emeritus
o. Harvard change the OF God" Who he
slans recognised chiefly In the wonderful energies
q SQUAD light electricity the Church Of England is
thundering warnings handful Of mis-
senarias In desolats Of Africa consrted and
nunsd with Msthodists. Bsptists and Presbyterians
produce it, results the spirit Of mankind has to be
% daring mountain lion ana cautious elephant
Il must b untrammelled the wind and
fui and considerations child listening At its mothers
knee.
The evening world., 1914-01-05

by Pies
divorce merely
M
When perfectly undeceptve fashion
the period doesn't fall in love with his
but with his Imagination
proposal almost dincul
extracting OF him when he Is totally
unconscious, him when he revves
bride Discovers
half angel half cook and
social butterfly the side
Tell a opinion I'll tell you the kind h
pursues
modern hepmae marres playmate and th'
spends o his Of . souLnste
Every imitation will usually
careful the limitation from tho
hrst hss the last
little absent treatment
jusal lavA i 100 81 -.Ll mi akAuzk
The evening world., 1914-01-05
HOW DO WE MEASURE?

HIS how New York State roads built according to the
testimony of Columbia County farmers who described to Com
missioner Osborne what they have with their
Having contracted to build road for the State the
contractors first persuade local interests the contract
changed specify crushed the price The gift Of
pair Of fine horses influential farmer often helps 10 turn
the trick
The contractor then cuts down convenient trees TO fill the
bottom OF his cused stone roadbed Subsequent layers Of rotten
sandstone will probably keep the brush from sticking through the
top of the road matter the steam roller cannot level
big the top holes dug the surface will bury them After
all what's puddle?
When completed the job must pass inspection The road in
specor who stands around with his folded smoking
pipe and who takes weckends from Wednesday to Monday His
duties? "Oh well, just walk around tailor and too old
for the business and this political job Mr. Murphy put in
this job-Joc Murphy from Troy
Seven miles of this kind Of highway stand the taxpayer about
$4,000.
And history has often sized the civilization Of community
ty the state of its roads!
The evening world., 1914-01-05
HoR Rl0lE hAZiNo

Have you heard what Mabsi's fratsr.
nifty aid 10 herr"
They have terrible limitations. I un.
derstand."
That's what. They ordered her u
help her neither with the dishes foS .
meath. wcCousios.JeRDak
The evening world., 1914-01-05

GENE: The Bron-
son fiat. Time, .
A. NJ. Mrs. Bron-
son at head OF
table, doing the
customary matu-
final juggling with
the coffee outfit.
she Is pretty and
fresh and wholly
The evening world., 1914-01-05
ESPECIALLY THE MAGISTRATES.

UTOMOBILES killed three hundred and two people in the
~ streets Of this city last year.
An average Of practically victim for every working
ought b enough shock the most fanatic Of motor
worshppe One hundred and Of the slaughtered
I, wsrs children.
Let il that this acrca record Of 1913 marks the
turning point in our blind alteration Of the auto.
Thanks 70 the traffic regulations December falling Oh
4 fatal motor accident-heen less than the preceding
! month.
The greater the pomptnes and despatch with which every
auto speeder finds himself gathered in BY the police tried and
lodged JAIL the better the effect On the fatality figures for
e til up to the police and the magistrates.
& -
Did dwetlers need such grim reminder
but fair weather sites?
The evening world., 1914-01-05

GGA YOw. tell you what to do"
M whispered DR. Gilbert Quinn.
a.. after taking from the mems
dressing room the overcoat no liked
the best. he stole down the stairs after
Miss Irene Cackleberry. "We'lll swipe
Jack silver's racing car and give him
the laugh
Mr.. Jarr afterward told this and al.
ways added: And why am ] always
Patsy Bolliver? Why didn't remark:
'Whadda "a mean. we'll swipe. his
The evening world., 1914-01-05

When directors have lost their Of direction isn't
u to stockholders their and march out Of the
wood?
The evening world., 1914-01-05

Did New Jersey dwelsrs need such grim reminder
that the sands at best but fair weather sites7
The evening world., 1914-01-05

II ito he idle IL to die some men
must have more lives than \ cat-Bos-
ton Transcript.
The Anderson daily intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson, S.C.) 1914-1915, 1914-01-25
JOS. B. MOORE DIED
YESTERDAY IN TEXAS
Former Anderson County Man
Dropped Dead at the Age
OF 72


"A telegram was received in Ar
derson yesterday from Jack county,
Texas, TO the effect that Joseph B.
Moore had dropped dead at Ais home
there. The message. was received In
Anderson at about O'clock and was
sent to S. e. Moore. who is a son of
the deceased.
Mr.. Moore was an Anderson coun-
~ man. having been the leader OF a
Red Shirt company In Anderson In
the days OF 76, He has 3 number
OF relatives in ell parts of the
county and there are, many Ander-
son county. people who knew him
nReli. @ ~.
IS MIR. Moore moved TO Jack county In
the year 1880. and has made his
home there since that time. engaging
IN farming. Two brothers OF his also
lived in the same county but bo
OF these died. 3 Two other brothera,
John g. Mot,re, who was once an at
Iorney IN Anderson and Byron Moore
now living in California, Mr. Moore
visited Anderson about two years ago
during q reunion 81 Cbattanooga.
Mr. Moore married Miss Moilie
Dobbins, an Anderson county woman,
who preceded him TO the grave seye-
raj years. -,g{i.l
The Anderson daily intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson, S.C.) 1914-1915, 1914-01-25

doubt Of the fact that Mr.. Hand is
coming to Anderson.
The Daily Intelligencer had tho
pleasure Of stating fen days ago
that Mr. Hand had had this matter
aiier fnsotabie consideration. lie
came TO Anderson last Tuesday and
brought AIRS. Hand With him. They
were entertained at the beautiful and
hospItable home OF Mr.. and HIS. Cs S.
SStiiiislr, and 1t Is known thar Mrs.
Hand EXPRESSED great ndmiratfcn N for
the city Of Anderson. The .eWs. of
The Anderson daily intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson, S.C.) 1914-1915, 1914-01-25
Textile School Bill
DELAYED 81 Transit

Columbia, Jan. 24.--The HAMS
worth bill estaIblisiling textile ana III.
dustriala schools In SOanEies with Fa
population OF more than 1000 1lalIl
operatives, wal not sent to the sea,.
ate Saturday, but was held over in
til Montfay on a motion 80 reconiErit
y made hv A7 Ger. g 6
opposed It's passage Friday.
Mr.. Stanley Satitrday SnoY ming asIi.
ed the unantnf6us consent OF. the
honse to amend the bill to make its
provision applicable TO The Horny, In.
dustriaI schooI established by Or.
e. o. Watson, one og the LEADING
Methodist ministers OF the State, ,gliS
held q charge in ColuHnlbia bsfure
going to Horny courty to seand en-
industrial schoo1 to assist poor boys
and girls 10 get an educaEioH.
Mr.. Stanley asked that he be az,
lowed 70 make the Haynsworth biz
inclule the Horny school. There waA
objection 20 the stanley aanensme IL
Consequently, Mr.. STANLEY IN iHaa105FTFEed 5FFed V
recommf the BILL which would have,
put an end to It had the motion nFes
vailed.
Debate on the motion to recoanrait
was adjourned Until Monday. II Sts
believed that the Stanley amendment
may be included In the bill and tllaEs
It will be sent 70 the senates phe
bill ater q hard fight ag againHt Its yGass
sage was ordered to third reAdiae
kriday by q vote of 81 TO 40. .5g
The Anderson daily intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson, S.C.) 1914-1915, 1914-01-25
FEW FEW APPEARED FOR
THE SCHOLARSHIP
-----
Only EIGHT Young Men Want
10 Go To Either Naval
Or Army school

Ut had been e2pested that thsre
would be a large number OF. young
men to appear for the examination
held Saturday for tha scholarships 10
Annapolis and West Point, but such
was not the case. ALI told there we're
only eight young men to appear when
the examination was started yester-
day. -
W. W. Bradley OF Abbeyiiie, secre-
ttary 70 rnngress1nan Wyatt Aiken,
was In charge or the examination and
notwithstanding Ghe fass that there
are two soho olarshtps vacant aud both
OF these open to tile entire third con-
gressional dlstrics, there we're only
eight applicants when the examina-
tion yeas started. 80
Mt. Bradley stated yestarday. that
certain blanks on the exanaiGaGion
forms gsEe the young nen An d. .jpor-.
tunity TO state which OF the eS5o
scholar Slsips they desired and :. also
that the age limit would materially
affect this a5 there Is 8 difference
between the two schcarships
The following Is q list ct tlease who
were registered at the court house as
trying Tor the posiiiones Thomas
Davis. Gleason College; ". M. Les
ter, Clemson College: II. w. Tarking-
I ton, Greenwood; r. G. Norman. SEM
eca; Cha=es Daniels. Anderson; Guy
I Cromer. Anderson; D. +. ASnaw, Due
West: W. p, Kennedy, Due West.
Mr. nlcksnn nf Anderson county,
also stood the examination but ow-
ing to his inability to teaeh tIia ci4y
for ths examinEtion It ttAs given by
Col. Dond, $tae. B1per rtnfendent or the
Citadel Aca adsInyt al Chafleaton. The
aa those g the local exaaalaalion.
The Anderson daily intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson, S.C.) 1914-1915, 1914-01-25
MAY BIZ FIGHT OR FROLIC

London, Jan. 24.-The powers OF
Europe have decided on n definite
international demonstration IN Alba
nian waters to enforce their demands
that Essad Pasha give up his claim
to the throne OF Albania. Each ma
tion will send one ship to Durazzo.
This action also Is taken as an in
timation to Turkey that the future
of Albania Is . European nation. In
event of Essad Pasha yielding before
the arrival of DuraZzo of the inter
national fleet, the ships will be utiliz-
ed to welcome Prince William of
Wied, selected by the European ma
tions to sit on the Albanian throne.
The Anderson daily intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson, S.C.) 1914-1915, 1914-01-25

1.ents IN the year foT the Wooduer
CT the World Of Anderson.
1t is planned to hold the banquet
rome time in February and commits
tee Consisting OF g. N. G., Boieman,
n. K. Green, L. o. Honeycutt, DIR. S.
C.. Breedin and DR.. Campbell will
shortly announce III -hoSe hands the
serving of the banquet will be plac-
ed.
DR.. Campbell said yesterday that
owing to the fact that there are
about 400 members of Willow Camp
1t had bean decided best to have on
ly the members OF that camp present
at the banquet. Therefore there are
to be no ladies or members of other
camps f
The Anderson daily intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson, S.C.) 1914-1915, 1914-01-25
H. cLAUD TOWNSEND's LIFE
HOvERs ON THE.
BRINK
THERE is NO HOPE
He Has Been a Sterling Citizen
and a Splendid Christian
Character

Inc news from the Anderson cpuu-
ty hospital at 3:30 Sunday InornJr,s
was that Mr.. Henry Claud Town
SEND was barely alive, but might sur
Vtve for several hours. Mr.. Town.
send had been sinking for ssyafai
Gays, and has been unconscitus
There Is absolutely no hope. fFjs
FAMILY AID other relatiyes yere ~
MS bedside last night, and the loSinsr
care or physicians IVES with him ali
through the night.
The people of Anderson have hasn
shocked and saddened by tie graVe
turn TO MIR. Townsend's Illness, and IL
ls possible that nothing has so touchZ
ed the peolt with genuine sorroN a.
the news that this man, SO yiriIes rs
pulsing with life and energy ard
spirit wAs slowly. passing into eve
great beyond. But all realize thaf
1t Is his loved ones and the oity ri
Anderson who will lose and not he3
Tor ali is well with Siaud Townsenh!
1t is q sweet consciousness 10 thosa
who love him 20 know that his Eag
been a we'll sCent life. though Il !! AZ
difficult to, understand a proyidensa
which should thYeaten to fnke hiia
away now. n f5s IS
MF Townsend ia q natiYe 81 ssSs
lower part OF the stsse; having besa
born on Johns Isiand. adjacent 10
the ity ttof Chs rieston. Hts agotl ka-
ther Mr.. Tohn Henry Town send, IL i,l
yel,5 less
sWas itlsG==ad he ghrls S etsg .tt III 4 {, a.
tcinobile accident Alli:.; j. \ ii. Tow Tl-
Sgend moved to this county while MS
son was quite small and In thst way
Fiattd iIownsend has been idenfiiied
with Andefson through all or the a.
tive years OF his life.
eir. Townsend began his busineaa
career as lumber merchant In con
nection with kfr. j !. %. Bartoa ahs,
after n few years or copa.tnership ha
launched out for himself, esiabiish-
ing n magnificent clientele IN gene.
raj builders material business. He
has been interested n many olhar
lines Of work, owning and operating
the Townsend Twine Mill, which han
mad most prosperous and successful
career. He has been one OF the huilal
ers OF Anderson. North Main ana
narle streets have several subEtan-
tial buildings which were built With