davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
Granted.

A sweet-faced old lady walked up
Fifth avenue hanging on to the arm
Of her husband, who was a little bit
hard of hearing. A girl brushed past
them rudely, humping into the old
lady.
"She didn't even say Excuse me-"
she said Indignantly to her husband.
What, my .dear?" he inquired
mildly.
The old lady repeated her state
ment in a louder tone. Still the old
gentleman did not understand.
Excuse me-" she shrieked above
the rush and roar Of the automobiles.
Certainly, my DEAR" he answered
g~raciously. "But what did you dor"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
Improvement over Netting,

Miss Audrey has come to spend the
weekend with friends in a little New
Jersey town and exhibited a keen
interest in the much talked Of Jersey
skeeter."
When the greetings were owe and
the party settled down the guest re-
marked to her host, after a careful
survey of the porch:
Il don't see any mosquito netting
around, William"
No. answered he, we're using
mouse neutrality-suspicious. Magazine.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
Just a Suggestion.

Me daughter, Mary Ann" said the
newly rich Mrs. Cassidy, wants to
Earn to play some music Instrument.
| wonder wat wan would come aisiest
TO herr"
We'll, now" replied the jealous and
caustic Mrs. Casey IF We could only
get somethin' that's built like a wash
board 'twould be jist the thing"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
knMna Inseeta WIEN E~!eetrIeIty.

Electrical apparatus has been in
vented by M. Friggori, province OF
Santa Fe. Argentina, for killing In
sects which : harmful to the growth
Of trees and grain. A metallic net
supported on a two-wheeled vehicle is
suspended over the ground where the
insects : to be killed. and e,0Oo-volt
energy 10 allowed to discharge from
It to the ground. The net and the
earth are e~nergized from one terminal
Of q step-up transformer on the We
hicle, the other terminal beInf
grounded-Electgtcal World,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
Too s,uch for Him.

A bishop In the Northwest tells Of
4 conversation he once had with q
wyoming man touching certain diff
culties Of the latters religious tenets.
Bishop" said the naive westerner,
II do not refuse to believe the story
Of the ark. / can accept the ark's
great size, its odd shape and the vast
number Of animals 1t contained. but
when / am asked to believe that the
children Of Israel carried this unwteldy
thing for forty years in the wilderness.
1 must confess that my faith breaks
down.n-Harper's Magazine.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16

decorated with a series Of wooden
rings in which are suspended a set Of
delicately toned brass bells, which,
swinging to and fro in the breeze,
touch the edges of the wooden rings,
giving forth a soft tinkle. A clock is
part of the equipment of this aviary,
and above each door is a little win
dow, from which, on the stroke of the
hour, appear mechanical cuckoos an
nouncing the time. The building Is
entirely the handiwork of the owner,
who estimates the cost to be over
$700.-Popular Mechanics.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16

Grimsby-I see those ladies' gowns
IN the show window are marked "one-
third off"
Quimsby-Yes, and when they are
worn they'll be one-half off.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
IoY I'M Give Ouinine no Children

FEBRILINE Is the trademark name given to an
improved 0uinine. It / a Tasteless Syrup. pleas
int to take and does not disturb the stomach.
Children take Il and never know II is Quinine.
Also especially adapted TO adults who cannot
AXE ordinary Quinine. Does not nauseate nor
;ause nervousness nor ringing in the head. Try
/ tho next time you need Quinine for any pur-
lose. Ask for a-ounce original package. The
name FEBRILINE Is blown In bottle, as cents.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
Tending That May.

Where will these low waists and
light skirts end?"
Il give 1t up. I'm afraid we'll g
mermaids on the streets before long,
my boy."-Kansas City Journal.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
Natural Affinity.

How did that couple ever come to-
yether?'
you see, he is a man Of iron"
yes, / know"
And she is very magnetic"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16

nov | am hearing things" he NUT
tered.
Another Jingle, in frosty accents.
A willowy maid, exceedingly sum-
merish and diaphanous as to her
gown, pulled her gauzy skirts close
about her and was seen to shiver.
And still they jingled. Tempera-
ture, SO in the shade.
A putting lady, Of generous girth,
pumped down her market basket on
the plant asphalt and felt her pulse.
Traffic was suspended, passing
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16

adaptivity was recently proved to a
group of laymen who gathered by the
little triangular park In front of the
Munsey building, that has recently
been landscape-gardened into archi-
tectural eminence.
The sycamores along the avenue
side Of the park, and its cool shrub
berry are favorite gathering places for
the sparrow. Before the Pulaski
statue was erected, the sparrows dis
ported themselves In the cool water
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
Whenever You Need a General Tonic
Take Groves

The Old Standard Groves Tasteless
chill Tonic is equally valuable as .
General Tonic because Il contains the
well known tonic properties Of QUININE
and IRON. 1t acts on the Liver Drives
out Malaria, Enriches the Blood and
Builds up the Whole System. 50 cents
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16

been passed by about everything on the road. Recently one of those run
abouts Ohe type that sounds like a lawn mower and travels with a limp
actually went ahead Of the big sevenpassenger car which President Wilson
affects.
The cause Of the sorrow is manifest The engines in the White House
cars are Of the latest type, and can, without an effort run the machine up TO
90 miles an hour. And on the road 1t is extremely difficult to gauge speed
unless ones eye is constantly on the speedometer.
President Wilson has always insisted that the cars in which he rides e
run slowly. But occasionally when his friends are taken out for a little spn
the chauffeur has been inclined to open the throttle and let things Whoop'
Besides the automobile washer, there ae others in the White House VINO
feel a certain relief They are the secret service men.
When President Taft was in office his favonte recreation was a high
powered automobile. Coming to a quiet little stretch of road, the former
president was not averse to having the high speed touched up a little COLO
mel Roosevelt was also fond of speed.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16

The young man with the large,
expressive hands, the trembling knees
and the huge, awkward feet, dug
feebly into his pocket and produced
the sum Of money required. There
was something so red-faced and apollo
getically rabbitlike in the way Ne did
it that one almost expected to see him
flap his ears. But he didn't.
"eWish you all the luck in the
world" said the marriage license
clerk, evidently DESTROYS of making
tha aoitated Young man feel at peace.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
COULD NOT
STAND ON Feet
Mrs. Baker So Weak-CoulA
Not Do Her Work-Found
Relief In Novel Way.
Adrian, Mich. - II suffered terribly
with female weakness and backacbe aEsG

got so weak that 4
could hardly do my
work. When n
washed my dislses L
had to sit down and
when I would sweep
the floor I wa1bd get
SO weak that would
have to get a drink
every few minutes,
and before / did my
busting would have
to lie down. / got
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16

Jersey City, N. J.-Peter Mullins.
helping unload elephants, got in the
way of a Grated elephant and 1t fell on
him. He may recover, although his
injuries are serious.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
Breaks Arm In Throw.

Alton, Il.--Attempting to show
several small boys how to pitch. J. b.
Marquis, proprietor Of the Savoy
hotel, put the ball over the plate,
but broke his arm in the throw.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
LAnIEsO CAN wEAR SHOES

)ne size smaller after using Aliens Foot-Base, the
Antiseptic powder to be shaken into the shoes. 1t
makes tight or new shoes feel easy. Just the him
tor dancing, Refuse substitutes. For FREE trial
package, address Allen s. 0lmsted, Leroy, N. Y.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
plies Cured I'm 6 to Il Days

Your druggist will refund money II PAZo
OINTMENT fails to cure any case Of Itching.
Blind, Bleeding or Protrudins Piles in 6 to n days.
The first application gives Ease and Rest. SOC.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
Birds Use Bubble Fountain as a Bathing Place

THE English sparrow is the quickest Of all the feathered tribe to adapt
j itself to the advances of science and civilization. This is frequently
proved to the CONSERVATION of BIOLOGISTS and many lovers Of the beautiful
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
He Got His Moneys Worth Of Conversation

tDo you swear" said the marriage license clerk nghtheartedy. that the
U statements herein given are the truth. the whole truth and nothing but
~ +rHh ~ haln Vnn God u dollar please? --
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
HIooounhlnn KIM Man.

Medford, N. LATTER hiccoughipg
continuously for two days. Charles
Foley died from exhaustion.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
Old SORES. Other Remedies Won't Cure.

The worst cases, no matter of how long standing.
ire cured by the wonderful. old reliable DR..
Porter's Antiseptic Healing Oil It relieves
Pain and Heals at the same time. t5c. Soc, 800.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
No Chance for an Argument.

~ Ut " UT ~ SNEFNWFE~
Waiter, there's a green hair ia THIS
soup" said the diner.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir" replied tGsS
waiter. It's the very latest thing
SIR
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16

A woman thinks every man should
have a wife to watch him.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
SIeigh's Bells Give Shivers TO the Gauziy Clad

I T WAS at noon on G street when the jingrng bells o. a sleigh were heard.
1 A large, perspiring, spluthTing fat man suspended his palm leaf fan In
midair. The doctor told me to cut it down to two these hot days. ! didn't;
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16

cnAuneurs-any n OF WhOIh caH pass
within an inch Of a given object while
running at so miles an hour-are con-
btantIy on watch lest the speedometers
start to climb on them.
About the only person in the
garage who is happy is the automo-
bile washer, who has figured 1t out
that the slower automobiles run the
less dirt they accumulate.
Ever since a presidential automo-
bile was held up outside of Hyatts-
villa the White uouea have
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16

YOUR OWN DRUGGIST WILL TELL YOU
Try Murine Eye Remedy, for Red Weak, W.a9tery
Just Rye Comfort. Write for Book of the Rye
By mail Free. Murine Rye Remedy Co., Chicago.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
Such a Difference.

Such a DIfference.
you say Funniman, the comedian.
is very entertaining on and off"
mo. l said off and on"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-07-16
President Wilson Orders Lower Speed for Autos

w AsHNGToN-There is sorrow in the White House garage. Two mighty
w touring cars and q landaulet have been brought to a state Of watchful
waiting There is an embargo on speed which will not be lifted. Four
Imperial Valley press., 1914-01-31

to help pay his expenses, and lately
when visiting the Illinois capital he
resided at hotel or at the home of
his son-in-law.
When the United States took over
the Hawaiian islands, Senator Cul-
lom was a member of the commits
sion appointed to prepare system of
government. He was also prominent
ly identified with railroad legislation,
both in the Illinois legislature and in
the national congress. He was made
chairman of the committee which
travelled through the country to study
the interstate commerce problems,
before the establishment of the Inter-
state Commerce commission, and aid
ed greatly in the establishment of the
commission of which he was a men,
Imperial Valley press., 1914-01-31
ber. He drafted the original inter-
state commerce act.
HERE'S A POLITICAL PLUM
THAT'S NOT A SWEET ONE
Omitted Press Day service)

(Unlted Press Day Servlce)
LINE COLORAINE (Mass.), Jan.
31.-With democrats all over the
country demanding political plums in
the shape of jobs, and many of the
jobs wanted being postmasterships,
Mrs. Addie A. Upton, today was re-
joicing over the fact that she won
bitter fight with the government, to
be permitted to resign her job here
as postmistress. Mrs. Upton spent
her last day as postmistress today.
Some months ago Mrs. Upton sent
her resignation to Postmaster Gen.
eral Burleson. She had no idea but
that it would be Immediately accept
ed. But Burleson, strange as it may
seem in these days of importantly job
seekers, actually refused to accept
the resignation. Then began a fight
by Mrs. Upton to be permitted to fire
herself. She had the help in con-
gress of Representative Treadway of
Massachusetts,. Even then it took
her six months to win. During that
period of warfare the government
made desperate effort to get some
one to succeed Mrs. Upton. But in
no nook or Granny of the Great Bay
State could one be found who would
take over the responsibilities and
small emoluments OF the Line post
Office. The great government of the
United States, licked to fragile by
Mrs. Upton, decided to abolish the
postoffice. After today Line postof-
! flee will not be.
Imperial Valley press., 1914-01-31

nois primaries in 1912 was the defeat
of Senator Cullom for denomination.
He had held his Office for such
lengthy period that he had begun to
be looked upon as a fixture in the
senate. Compelled to retire when the
old congress went out last March, he
was made chairman of the Lincoln
memorial committee and devoted
most of his time to that body.
Senator Cullom was always identi-
fed with the Republican party and
was a strong factor in the party or
ganization. At the end of mis- thirty
years as a senator he left the office
poorer than when he entered it. He
had no income outside of his salary.
The home he formerly owned in
Springfield was sold some years ago
Imperial Valley press., 1914-01-31
Federal Bureau Advises
Farmers to StandardiZe

The eggs at once rise to the surface
of the ocean where they hatch. The
young larval eel is less than 1-25 of
an inch long when Matched. 1t floats
about the surface for year, in which
time it becomes ribbon-like fish
three inches long, yet in that time it
eats nothing whatever. How it lives
and grows is mystery.
In this larval period the young eel
drift 1000 miles or so, eventually
reaching the coasts and fresh water
They make their way upstream over
dams and other obstacles, and on
reaching headwaters remain until
full grown, when they begin their
journey to the sea again.
Imperial Valley press., 1914-01-31
Money Becoming Plentiful
For Real Estate Loans

During the last few months pros
pective buyers have found a great
deal Of trouble in finding money for
financing real estate deals, but dur
ing the last few days it has become
very apparent that the conditions are
improving rapidly in this respect. In
fact, of late the Press has carried
number Of advertisements of money
to loan, and the general financial con-
dition Of the valley is improving as a
result of the change that is taking
place.
There has been no dearth of peo-
pie who were looking over the valley
Imperial Valley press., 1914-01-31
Cullom Long Was
National Figure

Former United States Senator
Shelby NJ Cullom, of Illinois, who died
this week, was figure of national
Importance for more than thirty
years, and held public Office for more
than half century.
He began his political career in
1856, when after being admitted to
the Illinois bar he was elected city
attorney for Springfield. Almost i'm
mediately he was elected member of
the house of Representatives of the
Illinois legislature and was reelected
in 1860, serving until 1865 when he
was elected to the national house of
representatives. He served in the
thirty-ninth, fortieth and forty-first
congresses, from December 4, 1865 to
March 8, 1871. He went back to Il
linois and again was elected to the
state legislature in 1872, serving un-
til 1875. In 1871 and 1873 he was
elected speaker of the state house of
representatives. He was elected
governor of the state in 1876 and sue
ceeded himself in 1880. He served
until February 5, 1883, when he re-
signed, having been elected to the
United States senate. He took his
seat on December A, 1883 and served
continuously until March 3, 1913.
The Culiom family like the Lincoln
family were Kentuckians, who emf
grated to Illinois early in the '30s.
Shelby Moore Cullom was born in
Wayne county, Kentucky, on Novem-
Der %, 1929. When the family
moved to Illinois, he received his edu-
cation in little log school house and
at home. AS he grew up he had less
and less time for schooling and was
compelled to aid his father on their
farm. Later he taught school and
finally in 1853, upon the advice of
Abraham Lincoln whom he had met,
he went to Springfield and began the
study of law.
One of the surprises of the Illi-
Imperial Valley press., 1914-01-31

and who expressed more than satis-
fation over the conditions they saw
here, and it has been apparent that
these people would soon be making
numerous deals.
One $4,000 farm deal was put
through this week, though it is not
vet ready for publicity, and there
were the usual number of smaller
deals, in which a number of real es-
tate men participated.
1t is earlier in the year than real
estate activity usually begins to de-
velop. but all the signs point to a
most active period this spring and
during the summer months.
Imperial Valley press., 1914-01-31

tFrom Congressman c. H. Tvenner.)
WASHINGTON, Jan. 30.-For
farmers: how to get more money for
your crops: Cooperate, standardize,
advertise.
That, in a nut shell, is the advice of
Secretary of Agriculture Houston,
and is the result of ten months of
study on the part of the newly organ
lied bureau of markets.
The government investigators have
received many valuable pointers from
the cooperative marketing efforts OF
the fruit growers of southern Cali
fornia and elsewhere, and the experts
now believe that what California has
done with oranges, and what Wash
ington and Oregon have done with
apples, other sections of the country
can do with potatoes, hams, and in
fact all standard farm products. Ev-
cry community has one product which
reaches perfection in that locality.
By intelligent cooperation among all
the farmers of the community that
product can become source of profit
to all, in the opinion of Secretary
Houston.
.'The farmers must be induced in
particular communities to develop
staple products" said Mr.. Houston,
s'to standardize them, to prepare
them properly for market, to study
what market to reach at given time,
and the best and most economic
method of shipping. Nothing less
than concerted action will suffice. The
individual farmer cannot solve the
problem. He cannot sufficiently con-
troll the problem Of production, or the
machinery for marketing, or the
transportation facilities"
Government owned steel railway
mail cars are in the way of becoming
an actuality. The pending postoffice
appropriation bill contains an item of
100000 for building steel mail cars
for an experiment. This sum will
build about Is cars. As it is now the
government pays SO much rent to the
railroads for the use of cars often
built of wood that as business prop
osition it could well afford to build
for itself all the steel cars needed for
the service.
United States Fish Commissioner
Hugo NJ Smith has been making a
study of the life habits of the COM
mon eel, and in an article prepared
for the National Geographic Society
he shows that the eel is one of the
strangest of all fishes. Although eels
are found in inland streams some
times thousands of miles from salt
water, yet they We're all spawned in
the oceans, probably in the dark and
soundless depths of midocean, and in
reaching the fresh water sources they
have travelled thousands of miles.
1t is probable, according to Mr.
Smith, that eels never deposit their
spawn in water less tnan mile deep
Imperial Valley press., 1914-01-31
Scratch Tablets.

Scratch paper in tablets suitable
for restaurants, merchants, house
wives and school children, 10 cents a
pound at the Press Office. tt
Imperial Valley press., 1914-01-31
$3.50 Cash

will buy the cheapest close in corner.
Gage & Wachtel.-Adv.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1914-05-07
FIRST MAYOR UNDER
COMMISSION PLAN
Vim Powers Chosen Head OF
ST. Paul Government.

st. Paul, May 7.-Winn Powers, for
ten years a member of the assembly.
is the first mayor of st. Paul under
the new commission charter He de
feated Louis Nash by 2,136 votes in
one of the bitterest campaigns of re
cent years.
The fact that only $4,000 votes
were cast for mayor out of $4,000 reg
istered indicates that many Republic.
ans, as haC been rumored, especially
in the Seventh ward, would refuse to
interfere in the contest between two
Democrats and east their ballots
blank as to mayor A considerable
part of this uncast vote, too. is at
tributed to the action of Socialists.
who took part in the March primary.
but who are bound by their party
pledge not to vote for any one but
party Socialist.
w. c. Handy was reelected city
comptroller by majority of l,577 over
ID. ]. Sullivan.
The six successful candidates for
commissioners weTe s. A. Farnsworth,
Oscar K. Keller, Anthony Yoerg, Henry
McColl, M. N. Goss and j. J. OLeary.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1914-05-07
NINETEEN OF CREW
ARE STILL MISSING
Twenty-Snven Survivors Of Lost
Steamer Rescued.

Sable Island. \. S. May Captain
Mcdonald and thirteen members of
the crew of the British steamer Colum,
bian. burned at sea, were saved by the
steamer Manhattan. A wireless dis.
patch to this effect was received from
the Manhattan by the Marconi sta
tion here
The Cunard liner Franconia picked
up one of the Columbians boats con
tanning thirteen men and the body Of
Chief Steward Matthews. so that
twenty-seven in all have been rescued
alive. The other missing boat. for
which the Manhattan and other steam.
ers still are searching. contains the
first and second officers and seventeen
men.
The first survivors when picked up
had been adrift for thirty-six hours
and suffered severely. Captain Nc
Donald's boat, picked up by the Man
haitian. was adrift for more than fifty
hours before help reached them.