The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-03-01
What Undertakers Endure


the brain receptacles Of neighborhooa
listeners are treasured highly Recent,
he had this to say about his business
When a man decides to become an
undertaken 1t Is the same as If he haJ
taken holy orders. He has burned n.
life bridges behind him. There is n
use Of thinking he can ever become lik,
his species again, even though he quit
the business. His fellows rcmembe.
him as man who has handled IN,
dead and they can't seem to get rid OF
a certain feeling about it,
LAS soon as | went in the business
noticed a change. l think ] had beef
considered of a jolly disposition H.
fact that was one of the things banke,
| on as being beneficial in such a sad call
ing. | always seemed able TO land
laugh whenever cracked a little j,k,
IN work this nicely and diplomatically
thought. and relieve the sorrow Of u.
mourner'
so / tried it once or twice with m
first funerals. The best got was
wry wrinkle Of the face from the loud
est Laughter ordinarily in town II
Houldn't be livened up even little b..
He'd often guffawed at me when
only half tried TO make him smile. Blu
at funeral time | found he woudn
stand for an ounce of pleasantly.
The last time tried anything Of
humorous sort To relieve the bereaye,
was at a funeral where most of tn,
mourners were men who worked har,
with their hands outdoors and wome,
who were employed in factories for lon.
hours. They could afford to lay off onl,
on the day of the funeral and so the,
insisted on sitting up TO watch for Nv
nights before the interment. They por.
toned 1t of in watches. but finally q
went To sleep on post.
II bought bottle Of t!ncture g.,
hartshorn and put it under the nose o.
one Of the dozers. He was glad he Wa
wakened but when l suggested he tr,
the bottle on all the others so that h,
might have company in his lonely Wig
he upbraided me like a pickpocke
Called me calloused and all that. II,
buried three of his family during IN,
next four years. but l never got .
chance at either job. So you see you
can't get out of the solemn visaged fat,
that awaits you when YOU choose you
dark CARRIED calling.
..E,ri.pIy %
fore marriage that she was practical,
buryins herself twice in the one life
time-first when she married an under
taker and next when her husband La.
her in her grave. She was told to b.
good-by to pleasure of any sort. Sh,
was warned that If l overcharged IN,
family Of any dead person buried tn,
deceased would come to our bedside ana
haunt us. 1t was farewell To dancine
to song. to the theatre, and in fact T.
was one long. dismal Grape borderc.
existence.
1--WE found some folks who didn
really want to shake hands with m,
Used to be good friends of mine hefor
l went in the business. They didn
exactly shudder. but-well, You know
that drawing away movement as if you
We're carrying the plague around wit
you. I've had to give up my howlinr
club, my singing society and even m
political association. I found that when
ever ! attended I was bound to find my
self standing or sitting alone after
few minutes, The women especial
were leary of me. | know | haven
changed myself, but my business Il.
changed the feeling toward me.
"Once in a while I feel like tahiuG .
vacation and cutting up to the lin
! can't do it in my business I've 81.
TO preserve decorum. Many a tim.
look at myself in my high silk ha' Cd.
funerals and feel I'd relish some IS.
hitting it with a snowfall, and a f,V
of the mourners at the same time ~,
got about fifteen years of bottled M.
high links in me. ! can't lot louS, co..
I'd never get another job
And YOU know it isn't good form
u have your family cutting NJ too
much either, ! tell my wife when 81,
and the children go to the thca'r,
To make it a quiet sneak The neigh
hors don't like to see even thu
undertaker's family funnng it any l.,
sedate all the time and no exceptions.
why. practice has made it SO can
order tear to roll out of either my
right or my left eye. and the tcarl.
come down. Yes. sir. me for the tear
when tears are necessary. They ar
the proper trimmings for funerals, AMI
AZ the folks wouldn't take my laughs
In an honest attempt to tighten their
sorrow ! had to practise the opposite
stage effects.
III you run over to see mo at any
time, don't try to get on anything thar
has grin in It while there are other
| arouNd. There's two reasons why ypn
mustn't do 1t. The first is | micht h.
caught in n weak spot and laugh any.
way. This would hurt busincss
The other reason In that II vow cN
pect to pull laugh out OF me- on son.
funny stun and l hold myself in hr.
cause people are around you might
think you had a right to get Sor"
because ! was grouchy, don't wan
that to occur, as the fellows who really
joke with me and lake n joke from ~"
have thinned down so in number that
! don't want to lose 'em all and be icfr
entirely alone with the undertaken
curse on me-"