The Washington herald., 1914-01-04
Statesmen, Real and Near.
BY FRED c. KELLY.

DIR. Carl l. Alsberg, the government
pure food expert. Is a moderate eater.
And therein he differs from Dr. Harvey
W. Wiley. his predecessor. Wiley used
TO act on the same basis as a lion tanner.
He figured that when he had pulled the
teeth of his food. so to speak, by having
II pure, he could go right into the cage
and associate himself with food to his
hearts content. And he could outeat
any two men in town.
Alsbers is a husky. big person, who
might do the same thing, and probably
would, too. except for his experience
with roast duck. AS a boy Alsberg never
could get enough roast duck. Hardly
a month went by that he didn't have to
20 TO bed and mediate on the troubles
of those who like roast duck not wisely
but too we'll One day as he tossed on his
bed of pain it occurred to him that he
might avoid such troubles in future IL
he would simply eat less OF a good thing
at a time. So the next time they had
roast duck he ate more sparingly. The
scheme worked so well that he resolved
to stick to it. and Carl AIsberg has been
moderate eater ever since.
However. he is not diet crank and
that one should eat nothing but meat
that one should eat no meat at all. that
no water should be taken before meals
or after meals or between meals, or anv
OF the other scores of doctors notions
abouts eating. which. IL one followed
them all, would bar person from eating
anything whatever
Alsberg simply eats the things he wants
10 eat, with the soft pedal on the less
digestible desserts and not up to his
capacity at any one time. He would
be an easy man to cook for. but women
folk are inordinately and foolishly afraid
of men who know a lot about scientiar
foods and their preparation. and so Ais
! berg is a bachelor. Harvey Wiley was
a bachelor, II will he Remembered.
throughout nearly the entire time tha-
he was connected with the government
Bureau Of Chemistry, but he finally
convinced the woman he married that
he would be just as agreeable a person
| TO cook for as anybody else. The same
would be true of Alsberg Walters at
| the club where ne lives in Washington
! say that he rarely IL ever complains
| about the way things are prepared.
Moreover he would be- an exceptionally
handy man TO help with the marketing
! Besides all that, AlsherE has wonder
! ful smile. a good disposition. and is COM
| panionab!e. though a scholar. He knows
\ a great deal high-grade music. hates
| raEtime. is an arr cOnnoisseur, and COL
| lscts rare etchings-
| Mark ThistiethwaIte. secretary to the
Vice President, used to be reporter on
| a Philadelphia paper. He was entirely
inexperienced when he landed his job, but
tried to conceal the fact as much as pos
sible. His first assignment was to write
| the account of the meeting of suburban
| school board. He took great many
notes and got down pretty much every
| thing that happened. Written out in full
the stuff amounted to about a column
! and a half. The next morning he aruSa
| bright and early to see his work in Print.
! He found it-after a long. tedious search
His column and half had been boiled
down TO this:
The school board met last night. but
transacted only routine business
Representative Brumhau=h. of Ohio.
made a bet witt a trio Of colleagues
sometime ago about the probable length
Of the extra session. The one whose
guess was the farjheSt of was to bug
Scent cigars Tor the others in the wa
ger. BrumbaEEh was one OF the winners
| and the other day the loser handed him
| gaudily wrapped l5-Cent cigar.
Brumbaugh looked at 1t with astonisf.
ment and ,"nsternation and refused tb
accent IT, lie said that TO do so would
be unfair For he had misunderstood
the terms NJ the wager. lie supposed he
| was betting merely scent cigars. More
over. he said. it, he consumed a Scent
| smoke re would be afraid that some one
who knew him might find il out.
And what if they did," he was asked.
.WEy.'' he replied sOlemnly, cit would
be undemocratic.'
,Carvri-hr 1915. by Fred c. Kelly. All rights re.
ssrVed.l