Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1914-07-03
FOUND-A HUSBAND
BY CHARMING POLLOCK.

Of the orchestra, smiled sweetly and
tripped off the stage.
Fred Allen, the press agent Of the
show. walked over to meet me.
Got minute before you go on
again?" he inquired.
Ten" l answered.
Miss Hammack, were you ever di.
vorced?" ....-
Never took a step in that direc-
tion," replied. Never got married"
That's too bad" he sighed. How
ever, it can't be helped. You can say
you've been divorced, can't your"
nodded. r.... .#e.o+
well, ther, tomorrow I'm going to
put an adv sstisement In the Lost and
Found colltnn of The Sphere. I'm 60
ing to sas The writer has dropped
bag containing $1,000 and decree of
divorce. end that the finder can have
the ten thirty If he'll return the de-
cree. See?"
nodded again. .a...
"Whatll that do?"
1T will suggest q funny story to
every reporter In New York. All
you've got to do Is to tell straight
story and mention the show SO often
that they won't be able to leave it's
name out Will you do it,"
YES" l answered. wait here for
me till the end Of the act"
Fifteen minutes later Allen told me
the whole story Of my past life.
Good gracious, what liar a man
must be to succeed as a press agent!
He said my husbands name was Har-
ry Hammack, and that we had been
separated since 1899. We had no chill
dren. had lost the decree somewhere
on Lexington avenue, and l was anx-
ious to get 1t back because l was
afraid that without 1t would not be
able to marry again.
The hall-boy brought me copy OF
The Sphere before I had eaten a bite
the next morning, and on the tenth
page l found this:
"LOST-On Monday, probably be-
tween 42d and 57th streets on Lexing-
ton avenue, bag containing 5000 and
q decree of divorce. Finder may keep
cash If he will return decree to Mar
garet Hammack, $40 Lexington ave.
nue."
That was all, and 1t was enough.
Men from the evening papers bothered
me all the morning and men from the
morning papers besieged me most of
the afternoon. ..~.E
got rid of them and went into my
bedroom, pulling the curtains between
that apartment and the parlor. and
began to take of my clothes. / had
Just slipped out Of my waist when
somebody knocked at the door. i
well, who Is IT." I inquired an.
grily. y,''
There was no answer, but I heard
the sound OF football on the other
side of the curtains.
waltzed into the parlor and found
myself confronting dapper young
man who was rocking comfortably to
and fro. vi. .s@s
WELL" l observed, Il like your
nerve" +, Nv.
"That's the first time ever heard
YOU say So" he retaliated. "How are
you, Madge?"
Upon my word. the man took my
breath away.
What do you'll should say, whom
do you take me for?"
"My wife, he answered.
Your beg your pardon-your-
well, who are you?"
Henry Hammack!"
"Oh Lord!" said. "You never were
my husband In your life."
you're Madge Hammack?
Margaret Hammack-yes."
"And the man you married was
named Henry Hammack."
II never married any man---Ham-
mack, Jones, Brown or Smith"
Then how did you get the name?"
From the man my mother married. =
"And this clipping?"
us a hoax. I give you my word OF
honor that haven't husband. I'm
playing part In The Cannibal
King" explained, "and the press
agent Of the show put that advertise
ment in the papers in order to bring
the attraction to the attention Of the
public. He didn't suppose for mo.
ment that there was q real Harry
Hammock hanging around. -:.se
"I1l be cussed!" observed Mr.. Ham.
mack in tone that made me certain
Mr.. Allen was being cussed at that
very moment Then he added: What
If this thing should scare up the real
Mrs. Hammock. haven't seen her
for twelve years. Well, we'll pray for
the best. would like to call on you
again. Do you know you made me
sorry for a second that we'd been di.
vorced?" .r"%@
1--WE hadn't" ........
"No." He moved toward the door.
"I'n drop around Sunday \
He opened the door. ....
II think you said that every other
man alive shares my Ill luck in not be.
ing your husband?" 5
"I'm single, II that's what you
mean"
" Eyes, that's what mean. Thank
you. Ill see you later" S
He stepped into the hall, closing the
door after him, and I heard him trot
down the stairs. Xxi &c..
IT, a. tCopyright) Eg@- ..i
{g The Result.
n n1I1S. L. .ro,. khink ~ Ahia Dron0.