The Washington herald., 1914-11-08

H'But there is the tRrln-"
"Yes; and half a dozen Senators fix II
for themselves without regard to the
President
We'll there is trust-Dusting.'
'.And trust-busting may result in party
busting"
"And Just what would you have q
President do?'' was asked
"rd begin at the beginning. Before q
nomination was made every. aspirant for
the candidacy should be able to satisfac-
tory answer the following:
Which side of a COW do you milk on2"
'Can you put handle into an ax2"
How many kernels Of corn do you
plant in a hillr'
How many potatoes should an acre OF
land producer"
should cucumber vines be trained 10
run uphill or DOWN.
"what is the surest way to wake q
farmers hired man up in the morning?
What is the shrinkage OF 81 suit
Of clothes after the first rainstorm?
Can you sell a subscription book?
''Can you hang a screen door?
do you know an oak tree from bass
wood?''
What would you do if your horse had
the colic7''
you would ask him all those ques-
tions?' queried the P. d. Q. man as he
paused for breath.
"Yes, and many more" he answered
did we ever have a better President
than Abraham Lincoln?'
surely not"
Had he read 400 words on philosophy,
and 400 more on theories2 Didn't he
make treaties, meet issues and hold .he
country Just as steady as II he had
chewed up a whole hbrary?"
History says he did"
HE was a man OF the people. A great
man. He was President. but:
He knew what to do for a sore-backed
cow
He could set up a leach for his wife
to make soft soap"
He could make a wash-bench for the
kitchen door"
He could whitewash cellar or a
| hencoop."
He could sew patch on his trousers
| IL occasion required"
HE could put a patch on his own boot
He could split rails, chop wood, build
pig-pen, hoe corn, dig out bull-thIstles.
tell when cotton was mixed with wool
and tell the age of a COW by the wrinkles
on her horns. Need we wonder why the
people loved him and gave him their
support and confidence"
"Win we ever see such a President
| again?' was asked as the Hon. settled
back with a sigh.
1T is doubtful, my son-mighty doubt
full. You might as well ask II we will
ever return to the days of johnny cakG
and pudding and milk. AS a nation Wa
| and we shall keep them on. II we had q
President who knew, and admitted he
knew, that mutton tallow and lampblack
| beat the best French blacking, every.
body would feel that the country was
safe in his hands. / take IL. sir, with
every man. from President down to the
village cooper. the idea is, or should be
that one grain OF good common sense is
worth forty grains Of theory"
Mr.. Kindel, as an independent, shal
you advocate a return to the ways Of
| our fathersT'
In part; yes. shan't advocate chang.
/ ing the auto for the wheelbarrow, mol
dropping the arc light to go back to tbs
taIlow candle, but 1 want practically
You buy your cider by the barrel, dom
your"
when it's rolled into the cellar yor
must put a faucet into one of the heads. p
| Surely. do II once q year"
| MY son, shake hands with mel don't
believe there is an Official OF this govern
I ment at the present date who can do II
without calling upon at least thirteen OF
his neighbors, 1 board here in Washing
ton with others at a widows. She doe:
all the cooking. The other morning sht
announced that we could have no coffet
! for breakfast because the coffee pot had
sprung a leak, and there was no time tC
| get a tinker"
1 "And you advanced a theory"
mot a darned theoryI What I ad
vanced was to go down to the kitchen ir
/ person and draw a cotton rag through
the hole and have our coffee for break
fast, and when the widow saw how easy
| it was she exclaimed:
"Mr. Kindel, why in Sam Hill didn't
you run for the Presidency"