The Washington herald., 1914-12-13

the nankof inquired why certain ar
ticies were Included IN the war tax.
y suppose" replied Uncle san, quite
seriously. ~they put the tar upon the
articles best able 20 bear a."
-D-U NIX" calculated the politician.
This led 20 the singing OF a few sp-
propriate lines to the well-known mel
ody, Coming Thro' the Rye" some Of
which were as follows:
n you have TO lay a tax.
Don't put 4 cato rye;
4 Put u onto luxuries.
But keep q OF Of rye.
4 Stick IL onto chewing gum.
Or billiard cues. say ];
/ But for the love OF Mike, beg you,
Keep Il on OF rye.
The politician refused to commit him
self upon the question Of a single Pres
4 idential term because he was a candi-
date for postmaster, "but." he added.
'ff / don't get the ONCE am going
to vote as my conscience dictates.
Right" said Uncle Sam. AT least
we know where you stand and that is
| something nowadays"
Finally Uncle Sam delivered a little
patriotic speech abort loyalty and nation
al glory, with the words 1T pluribus
unum, forever" spoken in unison. Then
the banquet hall was darkened and a
| floating flag of electric lights shone
forth from the balcony, while a men,
Der OF the club sang The Star-Spangled
Banner" The audience Immediately
arose and Joined in the stirring chorus,
with the Marine Band playing an ac-
compartment The music OF the ma
tional air was sung with tremendous
effect and made q striking climax to a
great dinner.
A Blue Paper Full of Fun.
Space forbids telling of other features
which went toward the filling up of
remarkable program; of the formal
admission of William Z. Brigham. of
the Boston Transcript, to membership
in the club, surrounded by several MEM
bers in baseball suits; of the appear
ance of King Cotton, appropriately at
tired and also properly crowned; and
OF the glimpse given into the inside
workings OF the Federal Reserve Board.
There ought to be a word, however.
and, indeed. much more than a word,
about the Blue Paper officially issued
by the Gridiron Club and containing a
great deal of correspondents which
never happened, but which was ex-
tremely funny. A few extracts will
show that the Blue Paper was gotten
humor. Here they are:
Pence to House-Oct. 3-We need
money. Can't you shake down Wan
street? Use any pretext, but get the
coin.
Tumulty to House-oct. Al have rea-
son to believe telegram from Pence is
approved by certain party;
House to Wilson-Oct. 6.-Pence and
Tumulty bowling for money. Is this
straight goods?
Wilson to House-Oct S-Permit me to
thank you most cordially for your wire,
which assures me that your spirit of CO.
operation is still capable Of further eXer-
ton. May 1 permit myself the pleasure
of stating that the sentiments expressed
by Pence and Tumulty meet my heartiest
appreciation and keenest antcipations of
House to wilson-Oct Sim next.
Don't appoint Federal Trade Commission
until see you.
House to Pence-Oct. 20-Have raised
some Where shall send IL?
Daniels to Wilson-Oct. 21-Have been
speaking in Connecticut. Democrats will
win tremendous victory.
Pence to House-Oct. 2l-Rush money to
Connecticut.
The Watterson-Harvey COrre-
sPOndeace.
Col. Harvey to Col watterson--oct.
12-Have seen Wilson. Something doing
II We do the right thing.
Wilson TO Watterson-Oct 1s-May Il
venture to invite you to luncheon to dis
cuss matters of mutual interest in which
vantage of all concerned, including my
self?
Watterson to wiIson-Oct. 81 shall be
delighted to take luncheon with you.
having heard from Col Harvey that
there Is something doing.
WattersOn to Harvey-Oct. 1F-What
want to see us for? Mark reply personal
Other OmcIaI COmmu nicatIons.
Murphy to TumuIty-Oct ST. resent
suggestion that President Wilson's per-
sonal popularity is winning this election
for Glynn and Gerard. Glynn and Gerard
are Tammany men and II is that fact
that is putting them over. The President
is not an issue.
Tumulty TO Murphy-Oct. 26-The Presi- |
dent is the issue in New York. as every |
where. He should not be denied this
credit.
Murphy to TumuIty Cafter election)-
Nov. 4-You were right. The President
was the issue.
you out after / capture Kansas for Muir |
dock. Indiana for Beveridge. Illinois for
Robins. and Ohio for Garfield. What is
Penrose doing?
money like a drunken sailor. Can you
tap Perkins?
Roosevelt TO Pinchot-Oct. l1-Have |
tapped Perkins. He sounds empty.
The Guests.
The Vice President
The SeCretsry Of State.
The Secretary Of War.
The Attorney General.
The Postmaster General.
The Secretary Of the Navy.
The Secretary Of the Interior.
The Secretary Of Labor.
The Spanish Ambassador.
The Speaker Of the House Of Representatives.
Milton L. Allies Washington d. c.
Sherman Allen, assistant secretary Federal Re |
serve Board
Charles j. BADGER rear admiral, O. s. n,
William Barbour. New York.
Ralph P. Barnard, Washington. d. G.
John Barnett, director. Pan-American Union.
George w. Benton. American Book Company.
Albert T. Berry. Philadelphia, Pa
Howard NJ Biscoe Boston, Mass.
Van Lear Black Baltimore Sun.
Arthur Blanchard Washington. d. @.
Victor Blue, rear admiral, Ch Bu Navigation.
U. S. A.
Charles H. Boynton, New York.
Henry G. Boynton. Washington, D. c.
Frank B. Bnndegee Senator from Connecticut.
Frank r. Briggs. Washington, d. c.
Frederick II. Brooks Washington, d. c.
Charles Page Bryan, Washington. d. c.
William E. Borah. Senator from Idaho.
Barry Buckley Washington, d. @.
James J. Burley, MoundsTiIIe W. Va.
Theodore E Burton, Senator from Ohio.
d. J. Callahan Washington, ID. c.
johnson n Camden, Senator from Kentucky.
Joseph G. Cannon, ReprcsentatiIeelec frUm Iii
nois
Howard Carroll, New York
]. H. Carroll. St Louis. Mo.
]. A. CsuldWeII. Philadelphia. Pa.
Charles Hopkins Clarke, Hartford. Conn.
Murray A. Cobb Washington, d. c.
J. Harry COEington. Chief Justice, District Of Co
lumbia Supreme Court.
Levi Cooke Washington, ID. G.
Frank II. CrocKard. Cunningham, Ala.