St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1914-09-11


are altered. ! should scarcely know
you again"
Excuse me, sir; my name is not
smith"
"Great Scott Your name altered as
well7"-wasp.
"rve got a greenbacls," said the frog
"I'il need II, too, all right
For l am going TO attend
The fancy hop tonight"
Pittsburgh Press.
Wharfage Is odd. You add one to
one and make one"
"How slngularr'-Judge.
-
Jos' when fellor's drowsin'
Where river breczes creep
A fish comes tuggln' at his line,
Dlsturbln' OF his sleep.
No rest for tho weary
Tho world 10 rolin' wrong
To be awakened from a dream
by a fish three inches lonRi
ATLANTA Constitution.
"What II personal magnetism
personal magnetism" replied the
manager. "is what enables man TO
stand up and keep the audience Inter
ested In lecture without the use OF
moving pictures. Washington Star.
IIo sued 20 break his fathers win
He'd left "A fortune great
The young man got the verdict ana
Ills lawyers the estate.
"Dld you notice that fellow nj the
Orpheum right opposite usr'
"That good looking fellow with the
tan suit and red necktleI No. whyT
Wisconsin Sphinx.
Pretty bride In his canoe,
Ere you paddle OF with him
Llaten-f would question youi
DID you ever learn 60 nwim1
Judge
"And what" ho angrlly demanded,
IAN | 90 have IN return for all the
money ! have spent ON your
"woll, you've got the experience
she calmly replied. Chicago Record
Herald.
A little pig
with "A curly tail
And a fatiny skin
All plnky pale
In a very different
Thing by far
From tho iumpa OF iniqulty
Big pigs are.
Pittsburgh Dispatch.
"Did that palmlst tell you tho truth
about yourselff"
Eyes, but my wife has been doing
that for years" Birmingham Ago
Herald
''why do you run no fast. my boyf'
This answer then was made;
"When far enough from Johnny Jones
IN yell. 4 Amt afraidr"
-Lppineotts.
'"rhe great question OF the hour is
the canal question"
"Panamaf'
mo, alimcntary; how 20 keep trailic
passing through Il nc present food
prices. wellspring
"Arlthmetic." said Tommy Tubbs
II study hard nt night
4 want 60 get 50 | can read
These baseball box scores right"
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Mother dmpatientlyl-l don't know
what viii ever become OF that child.
Nothing pleases him.
Father (serenelyl-W Wen make AN art
critic OF hlm.-Puek,
Upon the shore
The breakers roar
And fret with frownH unfadlnH.
lncensed no doubt
Al what turns out
For board walk promenading.
Washington star.
"what DO say at the weddingI"
"Not u word. dad. All gou utter Is
the check kansas City Journal
How small "a pittanee thvJ receive
Tho downcast poets tell
To i've they needs must strike the Tyre
Ana strike their friends as we'll.
Boston Transcript
wv "h9 'NN'Ni'N ""A0 ~" NN'N
awayr'
Plenty OF t. My wife dressed four
times day aud ! did the buttoning
for her,"-Washlngton Herald
Here's your molasses." said the clerk
"Now pay me. little man"
'"rh' nickel" lisped the little boy, "wath
In IN thirup can"
Galveston News
Dad. what do they mean by untold |
wealth."
means the man hasn't died a tax |
statement. son."-Louisyille Courier |
Journal
They held rose 20 hts nostrils
He gave a violent start
IL made him sick. no told them
lie drives garbage cart
brooklyn Times.
"why are you in such a hurry for
the new currency2"
'rhe little supply that ! had OF the |
old Is almost exhausted. "-Buffalo EK,
press.
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are kept for sale at this office and
Others will be added as the demand
arises:
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Deeds, Realty and Chattel Mort