South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-07-31
GATHERING.
THE NEWS
By Fred c. Kelly

sent out one night TO write up a So
cial event He left the office early in
the evening and on the way drfted
into some friends in a neighboring
caravansary They engaged in bill
liards. pUnctuating the victories and /
losses with libations When Browne I
noted that il was after 10 o'clock .
and that ne must hasten to the func- /
ton his friends chided him for 4
breaking up pleasant evening.
They pointed out to him in a con- /
vincing way that he knew the names \
OF the persons who were giving the |
affair; that il would be an easy thing |
for% him TO describe the floral decora-
tons. the costumes Of the women in |
a general way, and so o1.
Browne fingered, but with a firm
determination, as he afterward ex
planned 10 his acquaintance of pay
ing a visit to the house. There were
more billiards. more liquid refresh
ments, and when Browne next look
ed at the clock he VS. dazed to find
that ii was too late - cover the as
signment. With parting round,
and undaunted, he sailed back TO the
office and wrote a charming account
of the function. He let his magma
ton have full sway and he wrote
what ought to have taken place, if ii
didn't And unfortunately il didn't.
When he awoke in his lodgings the
next morning Browne eagerly sought
the morning papers a copy of each
of which awaited him at the door. He
looked over the opposition paper and
was unable to find a line about the
social event. Then he turned to the
local page OF his own paper and
there. under a big caption, was his
| story. He read il over and threw
large consignments Of bouquets at
himself at the thought of having
raries Yet hardly satisfied. he turn
ed back 70 one of the other papers
| and on closer scrutiny. he was re-
warded by finding a three-line para
/ graph announcing that the function
has been postponed.
Browne did not go back to his Of
flee. Instead, he departed from the
! city. He left no word as to where
/ he was going and there was specula-
| ton galore on the part of his friends,
and particularly Col. J. w. Gray, his
employer as TO what had become of
| him. A few months afterward some
one from Cleveland. while in Buffalo.
met him, and still later he was seen
| in Detroit Six months or so passed
| away and finally one day Browne
| drifted back into Cleveland AS he
was walking down Superior st. he ran
face to face with Col. Gray, his old
employer and Gray began TO upbraid
him
Look a-here." said Gray. "for
what in the name Of heaven did you
want to leave me in the lurch that
way?"
Don't as k me, pray you"
Browne retorted
But l insist that have a right to
| know" Gray persisted
Don't ask me, I pray YOU"
Browne replied, and tears welled to
his eyes
Did you ever ask me for favor
that | refused you ?" asked Gray.
Did I not always give you the best
| Of treatment"
well, then, tell me what you
wanted to leave me for in that man
ner."
Well" said Browne. eff you must
! know. | couldn't afford TO be identi-
| fed with such an unreliable paper"
Browne had way of feigning in
nocence and injured feelings, and he
was able to shed real tears when in
| creasing the humOr Of a situation
that might otherwise be considered
as serious. The story is told of an
other time when Browne was given
an assignment to report what prom
iSeO 10 ne ln6 pTlnclpdl society event
| of the season The elite of the city
were to give a concert for the bene-
! FIT of charity Brownies copy went in
! without being passed upon by the
city editor When the paper appeared
next morning Cleveland's four hun
dred were thrown into spasms
! Browne had given a faithful picture
of the event down to the description
of the basso. a young society man. He
I ri a ~ nt
this:
He has a voice of peculiar even
ness and symmetry Unfortunately.
/ cannot say much Of its musical
quality. 1t is a voice which forcibly
recalls the rumbling in the stomach
Of an elephant"
The publisher was forgiving. but it
was weeks before he squared his
paper for this pleasantly of Wards.
In writing OF the violence of a
storm that swept over the lake
Browne said:
capt. j. arrived yesterday and
said that his deck had been swept
clear of everything by the sea. It's
a mighty good thing for some people
that the sea can rise up now and then
for sweeping purposes. 1t is to be
hoped that Capt. j will not neglect
his decks in the future"
When the captain saw the item he
became wrathy and at once sought
out the perpetrator. The first per-
son ne encountered on entering the
editorial sanctum was Browne, TO
whom he related his troubles.
can yo1 tell me the author?" he
asked, and there was blood in his
, eye.
Certainly" Browne replied with
out hesitation. and. pointing 10 a
young actor who Also claimed 70
have been misrepresented and was in
the Office in a similar errand, said:
That's the man"
The sailor made at once for the
actor.
so you're the man who wrote
this. are you?"
The actor denied any knowledge OF
the item in question, whereupon the
captain hit him on the cheek. The
actor swatted the captain in return
] and as they fought it out on the floor
2 Browne counseled them 10 forgive
NJ s.@f.H /, -