The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-08-30
THE GRAND PROMOTER
His Landlady's Bill of $40 Was Correct

for a better thing. You owe for ten
| weeks"
Let me see?' unused the major-'Iet
me see? Did drop the Hand Organ and
| Anti-blizzard Trust for q surer thing?
All, it comes back to me! Yes. We let go
| Of it to take up and push to success the
| international Nursing Bottle monopoly.
Object was to control the manufacture
! and sale OF all the nursing bottles in the
world. Any mother who refused 10 buy
| one OF our bottles was provided with a
squirt gun. and when the infant wasn't
| filling up on milk he was squirting at
| flies and developing his Workmanship.
! That monopoly was capitalized at S50,OO0,-
| 900. I believe. You were let in on the
ground floor. AS my landlady 1 took
you in first Of all. My dear woman. II
your dividends on that stock"
But I haven't had any! That was
another of your schemes that busted"'
The major looked at her fof a minute
in doubt and perplexity. but then his face
cleared, and. reaching for her hand, he
shook IL heartily and exclaimed:
My dear woman. what a business
head you have on your shouIders-what
a headI It is no wonder that your land
lord never has TO come twice for his
rent and that the fame OF your table
has spread abroad through the land. Let
fed with everything up to date, but I
mean to continue on with you indefinite
ly-for years and years"
But you must pay. I can't run my
house unless my boarders pay"
while perfectly assured that the In
ternational Nursing Bottle monopoly
would pay 20 per cent dividends" said
the major as he walked about, I'VE de-
cided to drop it for a better thing. You
and ~ per cent proht-you surely must"
"Of course. I do"
Then I needn't go into details. You
will see at once why We went into the
Physical Pick and AK Handle Syndicate.
1t was the difference between 20 and a
per cent. That organization was perfect
ed only three days ago. and have seized
the earliest opportunity to talk with you
about 1t. You are to come in on the
ground floor. When Mai. Crofoot gets
hold OF a good thing he remembers his
friends. Not only have you as my land
lady fed and lodged me on the best in the
land. but"
But you are behind ten weeks" she
put in.
But. my dear woman. you did not
stop there. You showed your confidence
in my integrity by allowing nv indebted
ness TO accumulate until II has finally
reached the figure Of so. Where can
such another landlsdy be found? Who
will point me out another such case OF
financial confidence? But you shall be
rewarded. People who repose trust in
Mai. Crofoot cast their bread upon the
waters TO have IT returned twenty times
over. You will remember that this is an
interview Of my own seeking. Had I not
sought it you would have let the bill run
on for weeks and months yet
NO. I wouldn't" exclaimed the wom-
an. I've been trying TO catch you for
the last two weeks"
But I sought the interview" serenely
continued the promoter. II brought
about this meeting in order that we
might balance the books. My dear wom-
an. you are a stakeholder in the Physi-
cal Pick and AK Handle Trust. You are
in on the ground flor. have set aside !
for you $1,000 worth of stock at 10 per
cent of its face value. That's 5000. You
know how IT is when a man strikes a
blow with a pick or Ak. He grunts We
make all our handles hollow. They do the |
grunting and save the mans vitality
makes the labor 10 per cent easier. and |
every Iaborer wants to work eleven hours !
per day. In six months we shall be sup /
plying the world-profit Of 10 per cent in
every handle and 1.OOOOoo,OOO used every |
year.
But this ten weeks bill? she In
sisted
Yes: we now come to the bill Your
ground floor stock comes to $1,000. Take
so from that. and We have $3.50 left. In
other words. you owe me $500 But take
your time. woman-take your time.
Take thirty. sixty, or ninety DAYS. II you
will I have confidence in you"
And you mean I owe you $93O?'
LAS you see, my dear woman-as you
see. Look over the figures for yourself
exactly 1880. and you needn't worry
about it. Our first call on the stock
holders is only per cent. and II you
haven't the money III lend it to you.
And that's all to night, I believe"
But IL don't understand
But you will after thinking 1t over.
Run along now and think. Plain as day,
after a little reflection. Don't want to
push you out. you know, but really I'm
very busy. and you also want to figure
it out Don't worry-and don't worry
and goodnight 10 your