davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-07-09
Stories at Which You
Will Smile

| w IA 0AR1XAN II
eef SHALL refuse to pay for attend
ance," said the irate tourist who
had been staying at an old-fash-
ioned country hotel and who had just
been presented with his bill "Why,
the bells in the rooms are a perfect
disgrace; not one of them would ring.
Everything wanted l had to fetch my
self. l must have spent some hours tug
ging at those bell l-pulls."
cts true we have charged for at
tendance said the smiling proprietor,
'but, see, we have charged you nothing
for your physical culture course"
"Physical culture course!" exclaim
ed the tourist in surprise. 81 don't
know what you mean"
"The daily use of our dumb bells, )"
was the cool retort
Cause of De,th.
eeVOU may say you- automobile did
not touch this man, and yet he
was dead when you picked him
upp shouted the prosecuting attor,
|ney.
"That's my claim" coolly retorted
the prisoner. "My machine didn It
touch him. :"
"And yea saw this man start to cross
tho street,"
eyes"
"Did you blow your horni''
~ did
"What sort of a hcrn is itf"
"One of those new-fangled clatter-
boxes that create a sound that is
cross between a shrek and dying
wail.n
"That explains it. You simply
scared the man to DEATH
A Feminine Realist.
TIE WAS enraptured with the seen
n cry. His fair companion at the
country resort sat upon the stone
wall beside him.
"Behold that exquisite sunset" he
exclaimed. "Note the delicate flesh
tints, the cream shades, the long dashes
of vermillion, and the almost living fire
that leaps up from the sinking sun as
from a fountain. Behold the frame
work of darkening skies and of deep
green. Isn't it wonderful
His fair companion sighed heavily.
"You just bet it isl" she exclaimed.
l"It looks just like great big lobster
lsalad!"
Thirteen Trumps-One Trick.
CMITH had invited several Of his
- friends and neighbors to tea the
other night, and the conversation
veered around to whist.
81 have seen some remarkable whist
hands," said one of the guests. ~ re
member not long ago I saw one man
hold all thirteen trumps."
"That' $ not very unusual, remarked
another.
"Not at all; but the curious part Of
it was that he only took one trick"
i Chow g that"
"Why, he trumped his partner ac'
first time round, and his partner wa
so furious that he got up and threw
him out of the window"
eeFATHER," said the student, g.
want TO talk to you about chang
ing my course of study"
"Talk to your mother, son." directe'
e the father, who was reading the sport
ing page.
"Mother" said the son, "I made
e mistake when | selected chemistry. Blu
lit is not too late to change even yet
e j want to take astronomy instead. "
e The mother searched the eyes of he
' son sharply. Then she said:
D "Nope. You Il have to think u
9 some better excuse fer staying out a
!, night"
IS ! A Suspicious Conductor.
ENTLEMEN lin railroad train)
i NJ How did the accident happenf
hi Conductor: Some one pulled th
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-03-20
Baseball Proves Good Investment
Giants Clear $1,OOO,OOOa Year

tall-end teams stick to the game-get
n death grip on the stock of their
club and let go only when some or
ganized faction in their own organ
ization forces them out?
Skidding off now in the general di-
rection of the ball player, one finds a
large number OF instances to show
that numbered among the next gen
Grafton of millionaires there will be
quite a crowd of ex-ball players.
CHRISTY MATHEWSON. OF the
- Giants started in baseball thir-
teen years ago with a wise head, a
good arm and pair of shoe strings.
To-day Matty is worth between 5000, :
600 and 100000 and the money is
coming in so fast that he needs a
Wheelbarrow to cart 1t off to the
bank
Matty hasn't made his fortune sim
ply as player. But the game gave
him the start-and It gave him the
fame that he is coming into dollars
now. Matty's income for the pa [
few years has been something be
tween 100000 and $4,000. Some of
II las come from the exchequer OF
the Giants He has made a large pile
writing" articles for the newspa pers.
He has written a book that brings
him a nice royalty. He is Co-author
Of play that brings him nice re-
turns. But one Of his biggest sources
Of income is from his investments.
Matty, during his years as the idol
OF New York fandom, has gained the
friendship Of many of New York;
business men, and many Of the Wall
Street brokers. Whenever these men
learn OF a good thing by the way
of investment they slip the tip" to
Matty, and Matty gets in'-and
usually he gets out with a nice big
profit
Frank Chance manager OF the Yam
KEGS, is worth about 100000
Larry Laioie, Of the Maps, who was
a Woonsocket hack driver about
eighteen years ago and mighty happy
when he earned So a day Is worth in
the neighborhood Of 100000 to $3.50, :
900.
Mordecai Brown. once OF the
Cubs and now Of the Feds has about
$4,000 stored away in the cooler
Ed lie Collins, the Athletics second
sacker, is worth around $4,000 to-
day according 10 reports.
PITY the poor bail player"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-03-20
BY Frank G. Menke.

NEW YORK, March 2o-ls there
~ any money in baseball? Oh,
not much for the stockholders
of winning club-that is not more
than dividends ranging from 800 to
1000 per cent each year. That's all.
And as far as the ball player is
concerned-well, there isn't much in
it for him; not more than 100000 or
100000 that he can run up into a
million in few years by careful in
vestment under the guidance of bust
ness men who know an opportunity
when they see it and who gladly slip
tips to star ball players.
The National Exhibition Company
is the corporate name of the New
York Giants. Its incorporated under
the laws Of New Jersey which laws
do not compel a corporation to pub
fish or even file list showing earn
ings. Therefore the exact profits
garnered each year by the Giants are
a matter of speculation.
But those on the inside OF baseball
declare that the Giants for the past
three years, including the world Sc
ries receipts, of course, have cleared
close to $1,000000 year. The club is
capitalized at $4,000, which means
that the club has paid dividends each
year of $4,000 on every 500 invested.
-
THE Chicago Cubs, next to the
Giants, have been regarded IS
the biggest money makers in the old
league. According to Charles Webb
Murphy, denoted prexy of the outfit.
he started in baseball in 1905 with
one cotton shoe string and emerged
with over a million" That means
that Murphy alone Cleaned up" an
average of close to $4,000 a year,
which includes the marvellous in
crease in the price Of the stock which
he sold.
Murphy got nearly 800 for every
500 share Of stock he had in the
Cubs--showing that his stock had in
creased 100 times in value in some
thing like seven years
The Boston Red Sox in 1912-when
they won the worlds championship
are said to have cleared nearly $500
900. The Cleveland Maps last year.
although they finished third and were
practically out OF the pennant race
during the last six months, cleared
about $150000. according to reports.
The Athletics in 1910, 1911 and 1918
are said to have cleared over $1,000, e.
000-an average Of 100000 a season,
and in 1912, when they failed to grab
the pennant, they earned something
over 100000.
livery time anyone intimates to a
II baseball magnate that there's a
fortune in baseball the said magnate
released a wall Of anguish and as
sures the populace that there amt
no money to be made in baseball;
baseball is losing proposition unless
you have a pennant winner each
year"
Isn't II odd, then in face of this
statement, that even the magnates Of
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-03-20
Mike Finn, Hit by
Ball, Now in Fear
OF Blood Poison

MEMPHIS, TENN, March 2o.-M. ].
Finn. manager Of the Memphis base
ball team, is in a serious condition to-
day as the result of a blow he received
on the foot at the ball park Tuesday,
The foot is badly swollen and discol-
ored and blood poisoning Is feared.
There is a possibility, even though blood
poison fails to develop, that Finn Will
be kept off the field for a month.
While sitting on the bench Tuesday
Finn was struck on the foot by pau
from Dunckers bat, and the foot badly
bruised Finn limped around Nednes-
day and Thursday, neglecting to give
the injured member attention. To-day
It became worse and the manager was
confined to his bed. Captain Jim Null
len viii look after the Turtles In Finn
absence.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-03-20

to San Francisco.
Governor Major will preside over
the opening OF the St Louis Feds,
thereby making it a Major league
opening.
"Can a mummy come to lifeY is a
question too profound for US, but we
know that Carl Morris frequently
shows signs of life.
Art Wilson says he joined the Feds
so as to work regularly, whereas,
most Of them join the Feds 50 as to
eat regularly.
The adoption Of the 14-1 balk line
game viii result in another billiard
title and give Hoppe and Sutton an
other excuse to get together.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-03-20
Shugrue and Cross
In Battle Tonight

NEW YORK. March 20.-"Young"
Joe Shugrue. the slashing little boxer
from Jersey City, and Leach Cross, OF
the East Side, will meet in a ten-round
bout at the Empire Athletic Club to-
night
A little more than a year ago the
boys met at Madison Square Garden,
and in the opinion Of the majority Shu-
grue won by slight shade, although he
had a narrow escape from being knocked
out in one OF the early rounds
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-03-20
Foul Fighting Forces
Referee to Stop Go

LA CROSSE, WIS March 2O-For
Wisconsin boxing law an exhibition was
called off by the referee because Of
fouls and tho gate receipts held pending
action by the State Boxing Commits
sion Jack Redmond who fought a
ten-round draw with Ad Wolgast went
six rounds with Pete Childs, OF Chicago.
From the start both men claimed re-
peated fouls and disregarded orders Of
Referee Duffy Twice Redmond went
TO his corner and threatened to quit.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-03-20
and Whisky

these diseases are durable
homes. Consultation confdel
feet free DR.. B. NJ. WOOBLH
tor Sanita-ium. Atlanta. Ca
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-03-20
DR.. WOOLLEY'S SANITARIUM

and all inebriety and
drug additions soien-
tihcally treated. Our "a
yeers' experience shows
Patients also treated at
initial. A book on tho SUBJ
" & SON., No. IA Vts~
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-03-20

II ever heavyweight ,saspI champion "a Of
the world?"
Old John L. Sullivan repeated the
question. had explained to him that
so per cent of the latter day pugilis
tic experts maintain he was, while
the other so per cent are equally pos
tive that he was merely champion of
America.
I'VE get a barrel of queries every
month on this subject, and no matter
which way we answer, we get a rise
out of somebody. So we've put it up
to you. What's the answer"
We'll now, listen TO me, young fell
low" began the imperishable idol of
all fight fans as he grasped the back
Of a chair and seated himself hobby
horse fashion. Il licked Paddy Ryan
for the championship or America,
through all the rest Of EN- | licked
Jake Kilrain for the championship of
the world with bare knuckles, didn't
!? l refused to fight Peter Jackson
in public because he was a negro,
but | offered to fight him in private
for any amount of side bet and the
championship and he refused. DIDN'T
he?"
A S the last two words rumbled out
"A in a crescendo roar | jumped
slightly and FASTENED to affirm that
he certainly did" although ! mum
bled alphabetically that | wasn't there
a the time, but
"And then didn't l meet all corners
and fatten 'em as fast as they came.
or rather as fast as Dick Fox could
import EN- from all over England,
Ireland, Wales and every other place
that was then on the map?
Il did"
And now, | ask you. what would
YOU call man that had done all
those things?'
Gee whiz! Id hate to call him
anything over the telephone,
I answered, but, then, Mr.. Sullivan,
your decision is that YOU were the
champion of the world?'
TT sure is roared John L., and
I'm still the champion of the world
under London prize ring rules" and
he looked about as if to challenge
anybody to deny it.
"A S for that argument about me
"A never having beaten Charlie
Mitchell, l will say that I did get a
decision over Mitchell on May Ia,
1888, when we fought for the gate re-
ceipts in this city.
81 feel Just as well to-day as | ever
did in my life" continued Sullivan,
and he certainly looks it. Despite his
50 years his skin is clear as child's.
his eye keen and bright, his mind
alert and his voice as deep and grutt
as ever.
Every man ought to feel good, If
he'll only take care of himself. Yes,
7 know they all blame it on booze,
but booze never hurt me. 1t never
hurts anybody if he knows how to
drink. but men hurt themselves by
abusing booze. Since the reformers
have gotten after the saloons they've
made room for worse evil why,
ten years ago a dope fend was
rarity-now there's a million of EN-.
"You know, a mans stomach is the
biggest part of him. If he'd only
take care of it he'd never feel out OF
sorts. but nowadays people are in
clined to make-well, they put every
thing into their stomachS. I've always
maintained that any man can live to
be hundred years old If he'll take
care of his stomach
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-03-20
Battling Kelly and
York Box Saturday

The management Of the Columbia
Theater has landed good bout for to-
morrow night, Battling Kelly and Kid
York. two Of the best boys developed
in Atlanta for some time, will clash in
a scheduled ten,round bout
The semi windup will bring Battling
Sheppard and Young Nelson together
in a six round affair.
Kid Rudder and Battling Clark are
billed to meet IN the four-r round opener.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-03-20

Perry at the Georgia Athletic Club
Tuesday night will probably remain
here If he gets as good as a draw with
the Pittsburger A local promoter has
promised Donnely a match with Eddie
Weber or Eddie IIanluu, and stew
is considering accepting the bout
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-03-20

New York is going to the dogs,
writes Tom Sharkey, who has decided
to help uPlft New York by moving
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-03-20
SULLIVAN SAYS
He ONCE HELD
WORLD s TITLE
Old Heavyweight Declares He
Beat Michel in America and
Whipped All Comres.
By Ned Brown.

NEW YORK, March 2O.-'Was !
" ever heavyweight champion of
the world ?"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-03-20
BOXING
SI9BRIEES
SfAEd ara
XGOSSIP

Robert Davis. matchmaker for Harry
Statens club, was a busy party yester-
day trying to close the Terry Nelson
10. The Georgia Athletic Club is also
after the scrap and the rival promot-
ers are having merry battle trying to
land the match
Jack Sentell, who has fought many
battles around here writes from Jack
sonville that he would like to come to
Atlanta for crack at Terry Nelson
Sentell and the Greek lightweight re-
Gently clashed in twenty-round bout
and the pair should put up a good scrap
over the ten-round route
Billy Jacobs. manager Of X O. Egg
gers, drops us a few lines from CHAT
ready started light work for his bout
with Jimmy Grant at the Orpheum
Theater on March 81 As Eggers has
agreed to make ll6 pounds rngside for
Grant, the Eastern bantam wants TO
get in as much work a possible so that
he will not have to weaken himself in
order to make the weight
Grant Is also down to hard work and
is going through his regular training
grind every afternoon at the Business
Mems Gymnasium Yesterday after
noon Jimmy boxed three rounds with
Jimmy Perry, and appeared to be hit
ting with his old time power Fans
are already talking about the coming
battle between these crack bantams
And some fight IT should be.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-03-20
MACON RELEAsFs FoUR.

MACON, March 20.-Manager George
Stlnson. Of the Macon baseball team.
yesterday released four members OF
the team. The players are r. Zemmer,
pitcher. Of New Orleans; Fred Martin.
infelder, Of Atlanta Fred Bope. in
fielder Of Washington, Pa, and Paul
Allison, Outfielder, OF Indianapolis,
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-03-20
FOOD FOR SPORT FANS
~ oEoRoG Z. PHAIR.

HAVE A CARE, GEORGE.
When good King George attends a
bout
His loyal subjects all turn out
And greet him icith royal shout:
God SdUe the King"
But If he should attend a fight
And iHger there throughout the
night,
And If the Queen, tCith hefty right,
Should greet him in the morning
light,
God save the King!
Even in these democratic days a
king can attain undying fame King
George will be known in history as
the first reigning British monarch 70
witness a public boxing match.
Claude Cooper announces that he
has deserted McGraw and jumped to
the Federals, thereby letting the pub
lie know that John McGraw once
owned an athlete named Claude Coop
er
New York is going to the dogs,
writes Tom Sharkey, who has decided
to help uPIift New York by moving
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-03-20

Battling" Burke, a likely looking
scra pper from New orleans arrived IN
Atlanta from New orleans yesterday.
ready and eager to take on any Of the
l24-p pound boys around here. Burke has
fought some Of the best boys In the
country and says he is willing to give
away five pounds Of weight in an effort
to land a match here.
Sharp County record., 1914-06-05
MaxViIle

Joe Gay of Smithville was in
town Monday.
G. H. Matheny left Monday fol
Pine Bluff to attend the democratic
state convention.
L, B. Metcalf has been on the
puny list for several days, but is
able to be out at work again.
Several people in and around
Maxville were at Cave City Friday
night attending the school program
Everybody in this section of the
country seems to be up with farm
work, and rain is needed very much.
c, B. Snow has spent the past
week or two out among the people
in the interest of the Mutual Aid
Union, He says he is doing well at
the work.
A mule belonging to W. R, Marlin
was cut up by barbed wire a few
days ago, G, G, Ring has a mule
that Is out of use at present from
the same cause.
B, +, johnson, G, p, Bray, L. W,
and j, +, Provence went to Fools
Creek Saturday night on fishing
trip, and reports say they caught
several little minnows.
T, Z, Pickens has lately had some
painting done on the house occupi'
ed by the county paupers The
paupers are being kept In a nice
place and are well cared for,
Sharp County record., 1914-06-05
Pougl1lkeepsie

The little son of Mr.. and Mrs
Claude Norris is quite sick at this
time.
E. j. Oxford, a fruit tree agent
from Williford, was in town last
week.
James Norris and wife have
moved to the Jeff Doyle property in
town.
Bernard Parsley, three miles
from town, is building a new resi-
dence.
Claude Crieler of Emery was in
town Saturday looking after busi-
ness matters,
Lee Campbell, Thornt Kent and
Chas. Simpson have each purchas-
ed new buegies,
Jake Barnes is having a well
drilled at his home by the Cave
City steam drill,
Luther Webb, a young man of
Nelsopville, was in town a few days
last week transacting some business,
Miss Ola Smith, a popular young
lady Of this town, visited relatives
at Nelsonville the latter part of last
week
Frank Seeraves, a jolly good lel-
low from Reed, was In Poughkeep-
sic Saturday meeting his many
friends
Frank Green will carry the mail
on the route from this place to
Williford, He will take charge Of
the route the first day of July,
The PouehkeepSie ball team went
to Jacksonville Saturday evening and
played the team there The score
was 20 to 2l In favor of Nelsonville
Bertis Tompkins, an excellent
young man Of this place, was plow,
ing one day last week when his
team became frightened and ran
away He had the plow lines
around his waist, with the result
that he was dragged some distance
One shoulder and wrist were thrown
out Of joint and he was bruised
very painfully In several places
lie was badly hurt, but will recover
Sharp County record., 1914-06-05
NelsOrlVille

A good rain would be much ap-
preciated by farmers In this part OF
the county,
The young people enjoyed a mus
ical at the home of r, L. Groom
Saturday night,
In. Sparks and family were Wis
itine relatives and friends at Cave
Z City a few days lately.
Mr.. and Mrs. r. A. Crooms were
visiting their daughter, Mrs, O. G
Pickens, at Lauratown last week
Mrs, S. L. and Mrs, Hassie Shaw
or were visiting relatives and
friends at Shelbyville one day last
week
The poushkeepsie ball team play
ed the boys here Saturday, The
score was 20 to rs In favor Of the
team here,
Elder Lacy Holt will preach a,
/. the Jones school house on the sec
ond Sunday in June, All are in
vited to attend,
Farmers In this section are hav
Ind a hard time getting stands o.
cotton, and several have plantet
their crops over
A few Of the young people at
tended the singing at Flatwoods OF
the fourth Sunday In May, and re
port having had good time
Sharp County record., 1914-06-05
BriGl<Ie Springs

Charlie Jones made a business
trip to Cave City Saturday.
John Woodbridge made a raid on
his bee gums last week and secured
a fine lot of honey,
Walter Kent and Jack Heard
were visitors at the home of W, V,
Duncan near Maxville Sunday
Charlie Miller and Esq, h, T.
Chaudoin went to Batesville Friday
and while there attended the gin
ners' meeting.
Everybody in this community
would be glad to see good rain
fall. The ground Is very dry, and
the stands Of cotton are very poor
A large number Of young people
from this community attended the
singing at Eutopia Sunday They
report a splendid time and plenty
Of dinner on the ground,
Charlie Miller and Jack lleart
have put the balance of the marbl,
players around Brickle Springs ou
of business, Some Of the others "a!
they don't want to Get In the habi
of playing marbles anyhow
A meeting was held here Sunday
for the purpose Of making arrange
ments for the union singing to b
held here next Sunday Plenty o
dinner will be spread on the ground
and a BID time 10 expected, Every
body Is invited to be present
Z=====-
Subscribe for the Record-$l fol
80 ipanna
Sharp County record., 1914-06-05

on his return a few days ago reported
that he was very feeble at the con-
clusion of the journey.
The Evening Shade ball team was
in Ash Flat the latter part of last
week returning home from Salem,
where a series of games was played.
The boys lost two games, but were
all in good humor and spirits never
theless.
Misses Fay and Mildred Richie,
Attic Lee, Allie and Tot Turner,
Virgie Martin and Bertha Daueh-
erty, members of the Hardy Camp
Fire Girls, walked out to Ash Flat
Wednesday, leaving Hardy at about
4:30 in the morning and arriving
at 1890. These young ladies will
render a program in music at the
school building here on Tuesday
night of next week, and after max
ing arrangements for this event
they left for Hardy, on foot again.
Our people will no doubt give these
plucky young ladies a fine crowd
when they render their program.
Sharp County record., 1914-06-05
SlOO Reward $lOO

The readers Of this paper will be
pleased to learn that there Is at
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science has been able to cure In all
It's STAGES, and that Is Catarrh. Halls
Catarrh Cure is the only positive
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fraternity Catarrh being con-
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Cure Is take internally, acting d.
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surfaces Of the system, thereby des-
troying the foundation Of the dis
ease, and giving the patient strength
by building up the constitution and
assisting nature in doing Its work.
The proprletors have so much faith
In It's curative powers that they
offer One Hundred Dollars for any
case that Il fails to cure. Send for
list Of testimonials,
Address, +, j, Cheney g. Co,
Toledo, o,
Sold by all Druggists, 75e.
Take Halls Family Pills for con-
stipation,