The Washington herald., 1914-09-20
OLD ZEB WHITE


"one Sunday mawnin' seven or eight
years ago l got up feelin' sorter can
! tankerous." said the old possum hunter
as 1 asked for a story. THE old woman
seed that ] wasn't peart. and she let me
alone till arter breakfast Then, as /
started out for a walk around. she says:
:" 'Zeb. thar amt no preachin' at the
skuIehouse today, but K would look
mighty decent for yo' to sot down and
read a chapter in the Bible
What fur? says I.
For to show the world that yo' re-
spect today says she.
~ reckon the world don't keer
whether l read the Bible or take a
walk
But the Lawd does. Can't nobody
keep on Dustin up the Sabbath as you
do without somethin' happenin' to EN-
MY eyes are a leetle weak this mawnin
and II you'd sit down and read me that
chapter about the children OF Israel
crossin' the Red Sea Id be powerful
glad
That's what orter hev done. Of
co'se." explained the old man. but when
a critter Is feelin' cantankerous he amt
hisself. He's mad at his wife. his dawg,
his gun. and everything else. and he
won't git decent ar'in TIL somethin' has
went on up the hillside, and the old
woman didn't call arter me. Mebbe I'd
got half a mile from the house when the
dawE took arter a varmint and run il up
a tree jest got a glimpse OF the thing
and took IL fur a coon. but orter hev
known better. Every ha'r on that dawg's
back was standin' up, and his eyes as
big as sassers. and II hadn't bin can
tankerous I'd hev fggered il out that
m
thing TO do was to tie the dawg to the
tree and go home fur an ak. The dawE
didn't want TO be tied, but manage Il
and went back.
"'Hev you cum to read to me bout
them children OF Isreal?' asked the old
woman as arrove.
No: I've cum fur the ak to cut down
a coon tree
Are you gwine to risk your soul fur
the sake Of a Coon?'
Don't be silly. Coonskins IS wuth s.,
cents apiece. and we are out ~ lassss
and the Lawd amt Cwine TO punish
folks fur gittin somethin' 10 eat, even OF
Sunday
'Zeb,' says she as was turnia' away.
II you've got a coon up a tree. rnebbs
IL wouldn't he so awfully wicked 70 chop
him down. but IL was you id kirde-
smooth II over with PRO idence rrst.
Bein as you left the dawg IN watch you
kin read to me that chapter befo' you 60
I've sorter forgotten how clus Phario was
to EN- when the waters rolled back and
kivered him up
II don't believe il ever hlppSned %
says I. feelin' a new streli Of clntan-
kerous comm over me.
What! Do YOU DENY hat
Reckon I do. and perhaps other
things besides
Then. Zeb White. you jest git ready
fur calamirous calamity Its denyin'
the Lawd and the I.awd amt GUine 10
stand IL Go on arter YOUR COON Du- In
sayin' good-by 10 YOU. l sh ~ be 4 wider
befo' the clock strikes l.
II was troubled bit in my mind" said
Zeb, but l was sOrter ssjon.Shcd when
! got hack to the coon tr-... f5'Is Os bar
was lvin' around on the ground and
the old daWE was gone. 'Pcar,,l 10 IN
that thar had rim 4 fpu. aroun lnrr'.
but / didn't iigEer fur i)ac. II wls L
tree which stOll alone. and awav up in
the top could So th~ u11 hidil' away
in a crotch of limb. 1t took me half an
hour TO cut the tree down. and all the
time was chopin was sayin' TO my
self that the children Of Israel never
passed through the Red Sea dry-shod
Jest befO the tree fell heard a yeowIin'
and a snarlin' from the varmint in the
top but l took it that the coon had got
shaky. The tree went down with A crash
and l run up with club TO give the
coon A knock on the head hadn't
reached the fust limbs when he cum out
to meet me. and all the hairs on my head
riz up at once. Ii wasn't no coon at all.
but one " the biggest wildcats I ever
laid eyes on. He hadn't bin hurt bv the
fall. but he was mad nun to eat nails. I
had skcerCely made out what the var
mint was when he lit on me and got to
work. don't reckon you ever met UP
with A 20-pound wildcat with teeth and
claws in good trim. but il you ever do
you'll find that buzz saws amt in II with
him. The varmlnt knocked me down at
the fust jump. and he had torn of half
my clothes before l could git up Then
we went at It hammer and tongs I had
denied the children of Israel, and 50
had to depend upon the club. Ii wasn't