The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1914-12-09

THE WIDOW FUNNEL
BY J. c.. Err.


with an air Of mystery on their
bronzed countenances, Captain Drake
and his mate, Mr. Simpson, peered al
a piece of paper that lay on the cabin
table alongside of a anvas bag. The
document contained the following
words:
Barbados, June 10, 1S-. Being
sound in my rigging, but badly stove
as to my hull, and going to pieces, ]
John Funnel, of the brig Ibis, leave
to my friends Abel Drake, master OF
the schooner Patty Clay, and JOB
Simpson, mate Of the same craft, the
sum Of $500 in gold, the same to be
held in trust by them for n year. II
| my wife, Mary Funnel, mourns my
death and does not marry withip that
time, the money Is to 60 to her. II
she does marry within a year the $500
is to be divided between the trustees
My wife Is to know nothing Of the
trust.
JOHN FUNNELL."
Ten months gone. and she's nc
nearer. m~arryin' than she was the
day after Funnel died." complained
Captain Drake.
"Goodlooking woman, too, and a
thousand dollars insurance money
unused the mate. Whats the matter
with the men, I'd like to know"
GsTlo-oB, o1l Dafa Inhonn " r1Irp1na.
ted the skipper. He's a widower, and
all women take to widowers. I'll take
him up this very night"
When the skipper returned just be
fore midnight, the mate asked anxious
ly how Peter had acted.
Never had such a time" grumbleo
the captain. Peter and the widow
sat and talked about their dead hus
band and wife, and cried like two rain
spouts. If it hadn't been for old Mrs
Quigley, I'd have foundered sure"
who's Mrs. Quigley?" asked Mr.
Simpson.
"An old aunt Of Mrs. F%unnells," re
piled the skipper. turning in.
Things are Frightening" cried the
skipper, two days later. as he saw from
the deck of the schooner Mr.. Jobson
vending his way uptown. I'll bet he's
goin' to call OF the widow. I'll walk
up the street and see."
He returned in half an hour jubilant
HE had on his long-tailed coat, and
he furled his sails as soon as he came
to the widows house, and bore Into
the door," he cried. II believe the
moneys ours. Job"
Then one morning Peter Jobson,
master steyedore, started in to load
the Patty Clay with -four and general
cargo.
81 saw you last night at the Sea.
mans Bethel with Widow Funnel and
her aunt" said Captain Drake.
"Yes," replied Mr.. Jobson, solemnly'
"She's a very fine Christian woman"
Finally the matches Of the schooner
were battened down land Captain
Drake was about to 60 to the custom
house to clear her.
"Good-by, captain" said Mr.. Jobson,
feelingly. I'm obleeged to you"
What for?" inquired the skipper.
For takin' me to see Widow Fun.
NELL" explained the old man. Il read
in the Good Book that it's not good for
man to be alone"
"Well?" said the skipper, shuddering
with eagerness.
I'm goin' to marry again."
THE widow" gasped the delighted
skipper.
Surely; a month from yesterday"
Captain Drake vaulted over the rail
Of the schooner like a deer and. tum
bled into the cabin.
Its all right, job" he painted.
Peters going to marry the widow a
month from yesterday"
The two trustees spent SO for q
gaudily covered lounge, which they
ordered SEM to the bride-to-be's house
just % days from date Of purchase
date, accompanied with their card.
Just 80 days had elapsed when the
Patty Clay passed in the capes on her
return voyage from Porto Rico, and
when the pilot came on board Captain
Drake asked If Pete Jobson was well.
Married his second wife," said the
pilot, grinning. "a widow, too"
When the schooner tied up at the
wharf the two trustees beheld Mr.. Pc
ter Jobson calmly experimenting the
unloading Of a bark, and the exuberant
skipper leaped ashore.
Congratulate you, Pete" said he.
wringing the old s~tevedore's hand.
Thank you and Mr.. Simpson for the
furnitoor," responded Mr.. Jobson.
"You got a good woman. Pete," said
the skipper. "She made Funnel a good
wife,"
"Funnell," repeated Mr.. Jobson. Il
didn't marry Mrs. Funnel. / married
her aunt, Widow Quigley."
(Copyright.)
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