The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-05-24


tent TO pull his shirt over his head In
this the Fifteenth Year OF the Reign OF
the Coat Shirt It does not follow that
he is going to be content to sit and let
you take up his time kidding him about
the Surrender Of Yorktown when you
are supposed to b. talking your Line
OF Goods.
II he himself starts in to knock the
Mother Country that's his privilege
BY Special Appointment. But you
mustn't think you can do 1t with
out bringing on international compli-
cations. Your game should be to lie low
until such time as he does not happen
to be rapplng friend Nanny Country,
and then slide up with your Selling Talk
and don't get away from the subject un-
til Tea Time sets in. 1t Is then right
and proper to get away from anything
in the shape of work.
OF course II you are first called upon
by your British Prospect to explain some
question OF vital cosmic Importance.
such as, for instance. why you Ameri-
cans say "quinine" instead OF "quineen."
or why you have your homes steam
heated In winter instead OF nice and
cool like n dark cellar. you should go
to 1t cheerfully and not debate the ques-
ton in heat through your nose, which
only makes the matter worse.
There II one thing, however, that you
can be nearly always sure OF in calling
upon British houses, or those OF any
other nation. No. II IL not an order. 1t
is decent respectful interview.
German and Russian houses are also
birds on the Polite Reception stuff. As
i L.. 49,.
usher you into a Reception Room. You
sit on one side OF big Directors Table
and spread your papers about, and the
Buyer comes in and sits on the opposite
side 80 that he cannot see your Special
Discount Sheet, or note the exact word
ing OF some fake letters you are going
TO read him showing how badly every
body wants your goods.
Usually he offers box Of cigars or
| cigarettes, in which case IL IL custom
ary'to not take more than a pocket full
| just because he offers the box. In Tur-
| key and Egypt "A native brings you in
coffee and cigarettes during the inter-
| View. even when the Buyer knows be-
forehand that he Is going to turn your
| proposition down Lovely Watermelon
In Russian offices they havo n regu-
lar cloakroom and you give your coat
and hat and rubbers and n few kopecks
/ to the Vestiere in charge. and brush
your hair and shake the snow out OF
your Selling Talk before going into the
Reception Room.
When you go to China. you've got TO
line up some House that hasn't been
dealing for more than three or four CEN
turtles with your competitor. Otherwise
you won't be able to coax them away
with n shotgun. A manufacturer that
plays fair with Chinese merchant has
got him, and his heirs. executors and
legatees as long "a Mother Earth keeps
on the job. His word Is better than an
Algerlan's check cashed the same day.
When you are canvassing the Swed-
ish and Danish Trade you often think
you are In Germany or Austria because
II doesn't take II long gray whiskercd
lifetime to get down to first principles
and finish the deal which is generally
not the case in the hot, loafing, cricket
playing countries where Business Is q
sport and Sport IS a business.
In America we yobbishes Of the Bust
ness World haven't yet learned how to
treat each other decently. II one OF us
is polite we score him up as rube and
proceed to ride over him rough hoofed.
1t Is necessary for him to cultivate n
thick neck and a domineerlng manner
before he gets our attention.
When the foreign Buyer doesn't want
your goods he lets you down easily 80
that your toes at least touch the ground
before he cuts the rope. He never drops
you suddenly so that you sprnin your
temper and muss your clothes as ls so
often the case here In Rockefeller Land
In fact, we've got in our large midst
a drove OF Buyers that ought TO be
taken out naked some morning at SUM-
rise and lined up In row with their
backs this way and shot south of the
waistline with mustard seed until they
learn how to treat Friend Salesman.
(Hear! Hear! &c.)
Let Il be said here that Prof. never
has any Firm or Salesman in mind when
ne cuts into the ink. He Ia always gay,
never sore and couldn't hold a Grudge
II he tried. No man can serve a Grudgc
and d Job at the same time. and Prof
prefers TO serve his job because he gets
more fun Git of It. Also we pay back
no tuition after naturalization, unless
the request IL accompanied by the Town
Constable Also here are the don'ts.
Don't envy the Old Boys of the Old
School that you see sitting around In the
Foreign Field smoking big cigars and
taking life fairly soft. Remember they
are sentenced by Dear Firm to serve 80
many months or years in a given place
and have got To I'll in the time soine-
how. whereas you are free to clean UP
/ the Job and pass on 10 other more in