Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
TO LIVE AND LEARN
Don't Make Love to a Lonely
Widow by Means of a
Little Cherub.
ey MARGARET WEsTcoTT.

thought to children. When | dined
with friends, their young ones we're
In bed; or II some fatuous mama in
sisted on showing me her baby, / felt
like a fool. not knowing at all what
was expected of me.
But the year l was SO done up In a
motorcar accident. | spent the sum
mer at place near town in one of
those summer boarding houses where
the child Is permitted to run riot,
notwithstanding that the landlady had
told me no children were allowed"
Stretched all day in steamer chair
on the piazza, smoked and read nov
els and magazines. To my utter aston
ishment, a large number of so-called
"climaxes' were precipitated by a
child.
Innumerable were the tales in
which estranged married couples,
parted lovers, and even divorced men
and women were brought together In
the most heavenly harmony by the
timely Intervention of a child.
began to love and long for the dear
little things. / determined to snatch
the first opportunity to cultivate the
acquaintance. the love and intimacy
OF child
In the stories there was no complied
ton. no misunderstanding; in short,
no Limitation to the healing, soothing
influence of timely Intervention" on
the part of darling little child. And
their quaint sayings. pretty ways and
exquisite conceits Of imagination.
l became saturated with the ro-
nance OF childhood.
At last my chance came In the most
ideal way. A young. beautiful and
rich widow arrived, bringing with her
a real, fullpage illustration, story-book
dream or boy about seven years old.
Instantly / determined that the boy
should bring the widow and me to-
gether
Soon after his arrival, I found the
child standing near me on the piazza.
He was all the romance | had de-
youred condensed.
Luminous, brown eyes gazing at
some celestial vision beyond the hori-
Eon;" hair curled on his high, broad
forehead" rosebud lips about to part
to give utterance to a soulful, dainty
gem OF speech.
held out my hand.
Won't you come and speak to a
poor, sick mann" ! said, smiling en-
couragement.
Into the distracted gaze of the beau
tiful boy sprang look of eager antici-
patton.
TIL smash your facet" he cried.
taking step toward me.
Placing my sound foot on a putter,
left near by some forgetful golfer,
hastily produced box of lozenges
from my pocket.
DO you like these?" | asked in
honeyed accents.
With a single bound, Tommy was
beside me--or, rather. inside me, 1t
seemed. He landed on my knees with
the dead thud OF huge bag of sand;
his head nearly smashed my ribs.
Recalling the widow, / resolved to
soften the child" to win his affec-
tions; to lead him to a knowledge of
the gentle, the beautiful and the good
That was another favorite stunt of
the story books. fIf the child doesn't
get in his ''softening" on you first, al
ways try 1t on him. For the sake of
Tommy's adorable mamma, would fix
up his little soul
Just then she came round the corner
of the piazza; just at the "psycholog-
icai moment" or course, she apollo
gized for the boldness OF her little SON.
! was enchanted The widow and /
were brought together" Though not
exactly as | had anticipated).
Tommy bawled: Come here, IN
muddy, and I'll get the old s-sport to
give you g-gumdrop."
Tommy was literally peeled off from
me and dragged, yelling. into the
house Nevertheless, a happy result
followed the Intervention of the
child"
His mother was so ashamed of him
that she tried to make amends by be-
ing particularly nice to me.
lost my heart to her at once.
AS the way TO soften Tommy vas
obviously through his little "tummy,"
concluded to lay In a supply of
sweets | acted on the thought.
! couldn't seem to remember any
thing less harmful than the hoarhound
drop Of my youth; so / commissioned
q commuter among the men boarders
to bring me pound of them from
town that afternoon. l gave them to
Tommy. who was delighted-but,
again. not as ! expected Quite the
opposite,
He produced bean-blower and,
with incredibly little practise, hit the
bulls-eye OF badness on the head Of
an old gentleman reading on the piaz-
"a. Then he smashed several electric
light bulbs, terrified all the old ladiea
and pretty nearly cleaned out the
place.
From discreet distance ventured
to suggest that the candies were for