The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-02-21
LUKE McLUKE.

young die good.
When YOU start out TO show a man
theserror;of his ways always pick. out
some guy you know you can lick. =
The reason a woman knows she can
pick out q good husband for her
daughteris because she selected "a
hunk of cheese for her daughters
father z,
When one man has his receipt for
Ills pew rent and another man has the
coupons for seats to see "The Trail Of
Slime" you'll notice the crowd neve;.
follows the man with the pew rent
receipts.
Most women are SO anxious to. get
married that they will cheerfully
hitch up with a man who has to bor-
row money to get the marriage IL
eense. e..
It is q good scheme to look out for
the future, but some cen act as their
own funeral directors before they arc
ready to die. z
Politeness and charity should both
begin at home. But they never do.
Once in a while you will hear Of a
chorus girl who doesn't think she is
better than the prima donna and yon
may also run into a clerk who doesn't
imagine that he knows more than the
boss.
yoneyisn't everything. But you
IBeyerag o{to a poor man when you
want adyice.b9:sasak 30 1865
laiIt isn't salwayssa3c compliment when
NJ womant tells;anothers woman n, that
she knows tllatshe antitrust her llus-
band with her. Il 9Gt ysbGgM .stlts
Truth crushed to earth s7will rise
again. And trying to round up lie
merely produces ten more lies.
Cheer up! I know a one-armed man
,who is cheerful because lie knows he
will never pound his thumb with a
tack hammer.
If every man has his price, there
are some of them who look, as though
they would fall for counterfeit Mex.
lean nickel.
Maybe Jonah swallowed the whale
and maybe lot of other wonderful
things happened, but there never was
man who could lose his money and
still retain his friends. II,
The only day the boss ever gets
down tokthe office on time is the day
YOU happen to be late.
Tie idea seems to prevail that men
and cheese must be ancient before
they can be Observation-Disclosures.
The reason a girl knows the face
powder she uses is invisible is be.
cause everybody but herself. car
see it.
The guy who is always saying
that clothes do not make the man is
usually the first to laugh at tht
fringes on your pants when you arc
not around.
What has become OF the old.
fashioned woman who used to keeI
the front room shutters closed
tightly and the blinds drawn ali
year round until a wedding or d
funeral occurred?
When man gets his first full
dress suit lie is so proud of it tina,
he wants to wear 1t all day.
When Mother has date with Ia,
ther at o'clock she will show up
at the meeting place at 1880 and
then bawl Father out because lie
got tired waiting and went into q
saloon for a drink.
The old-fashioned girl whose
dress used spEps full, Of pins how
has daughter who leaves every.
Tss lssy d saisSta Ssss,sle L!
the girls to wear less this sunline
than theylwore ,lastoBnmsner. !: But
they alsoSsaid thai they Titanic MAJ
unsinkable. ISL Es1aa uci7cS 4
srYouuimagine the mems fashions
area pretty foolish, don't you? But
give them credit, Ignatz y 1t has
only been 100 years since they car
ried muffs and wore tights for
pants. ..
The man who says his wife lets
him do just as. he pleases is either
liar or his wife is away on a visit,
What has become of the old,
fashioned girls who used to marry
Nat Goodwin?
Too many men wha belong to
Boosters Clubs and holler for big!
ger city. hace NO Trespassing''
sign on their dor when fool stork
tries to aid in the good work.
5 IN ~,