Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-01-12
The Manicure
Lady
BY WILLIAM r. KIRK.

George" said the Manicure
Lady. Il am getting too stout
! might just as well own up to It I
was taking slant at myself in one
OF them subway mirrors this morn
ing. and ! looked like Ed Dunkhorst.
the human freight car. There amt
no GLASS 10 a fat person. George. so
far as looks Is discerned. and the only
thing for me TO do is to reduce. There
10 a lot OF ways to reduce, and i can't
choose"
You ought to do road work. the
way fighters does" said the Head
Barber.
Too strenuoust- declared the Mani.
cure Lady. And. besides. there amt
no hills to climb in the city. and. be-
sides, ] amt got the time. I guess
will try rolling around on the noor"
''Ths boss might kick said the
Head Barber
Il don't mean down here, you simp."
snapped the Manicure Lady. II was
reading the other night how a fat
star in a musical comedy lost thirty
pounds. All she done was to roll
around on the floor in her room for
about half an hour Just before retir-
ing. Me for that"
Nobody but nut would ty TO re-
duce that way" said tho Head Barber
You would knock down all the fur
niture in your room and wear out the
carpet. and besides. ] shouldn't think
a dignlfed dame like you would want
10 make yourself look ridiculous. Put
on heavy suit and some heavy Shoes
and walk hard for an hour before
breakfast every morning. ! bet II
will make you feel fne and mako you
lose weight, too"
"Wilfred was getting a little fat a
few months ago, and he tried walking
hour before breakfast" said the
Manicure Lady THE only trouble
with his system was that he picked
out line OF march along past all OF
them beer signs. and, like all them
poets, Wilfred is sure fond of his
brew. He would walk half block
and then into the swinging doors and
out again, wiping his mouth. and do
another half block and another col
umn right At the end OF two weeks
he had gained ten pounds and was be-
ginning to look like a kettle. because
he amt got no height to carry no
weight So he stopped his morning
exercise and found another way to re-
duce. He took n oath that he wouldn't
eat any meals except when he got
check for some of his poetry from the
magazines He got two checks In two
months, and they was dinky checks,
too. He lost all his weight mighty
quick with that system. Now he eats
when he feels like II. I guess fasting
would be about the best way to get
of ones superlstive flesh. after all
why don't 81 try fastins?" asked
the Head Barber. It's a cinch you
would get thin II you didn't eat"
"It's near enough to fasting up at
the house now, the way things cost"
said the Manicure Lady. Honest to
goodness, George. with eggs seventy
eight cents a d ozen and meat accord
ing. and with q hungry poet in the
family. II keeps the old gent and me
hustliag to make the wolf stay out
side the door Father Is a grand old
provider, and always has been, and l
am sure of his little comfort when |
kick In with my bit on Saturdays, but
Wilfred is one OF them intermittent
workers; and Wayne being married
now. and living IN double blessed
ness. we have to do a little figuring.
Think 81 eggs costing six cents and
half apiece"
Il guess the hens Is getting like
the suffra gettes," said the Head BAR
her They are beginning to know
and demand their rights"