The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1914-07-02
The Steamship
Widow
By M. QUAD
By NJ QUAD
Copyright, 1914. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

arch, bound from London to Sydney,
passenger list There were twenty
ladies' in the cabin, and half the num-
Der had their husbands along. There
were thirty-fve men, and all but ten
were free of bondage. OF the twenty
ladies' three or four were single. three
or four were widows and others bau
left husbands in England or were go
ing to join husbands in Australia.
When this list had been boiled down
there was just one to fall in love with.
who was down as Mrs Ethel Warner.
That means she was a widow, twenty
five years old, and rich and good look
ing Before we were off soundings
had made up my mind to fall in love
with Mrs. Warner.
On the third day out, which is the
proper time to begin a Irritation. pro-
vided the weather is all right, | found
that the other twenty-four men were
of my way of thinking.
1t is easy enough to bring about
an introduction on shipboard. If you
can't find a mutual acquaintance, then
introduce yourself. When | got ready
| to fall in love with Mrs. Warner
walked up to her, handed her my card
and few compliments, and the thing
was done. She was pleased to say
| that she was glad to make my ac-
| quaintance, and an hour later | was in
| love.
Mrs. Warner was as well bred as she
was handsome. She asked no ques-
tions about FIVE or six children. She
didn't express surprise that had lived
to the age of forty without having
| fallen in love before. She might have
shown some little doubt in her look or
speech when | said that was going
out to Australia to sell out my sheep
ranches and return to England with
100000 and marry and settle down,
but nothing occurred to alarm me. At
the end of couple of hours felt that
| had won her, and there could be no
sort of doubt in her mind that she had
me hooked fast. l walked about know
ing that twenty-four men envied me
and hated me and called me names be-
| hind my back, but not for long. That
same evening young doctor who was
going out to the colony got some one
to introduce him, and | saw Mrs. War
ner hanging to his arm as lovingly as
she had hung to mine. Later on |
found the doctor in his cabin. The i'm
pecunious shrimp had retired to grin
and chuckle and feel puffed up. | am
an aggressive man. | allow nobody to
interfere with my vested rights de-
termined to squelch that doctor right
on the start, and when | had been ad-
mitted to his cabin didn't lose min
ute in saying:
Sir | desire you to understand right
here and now that l am as good as
engaged to Mrs. Warner, and | want
no more of this lollipop business!'
"If you are engaged to her she does
not know it." he replied after recov-
ering from his surprise.
Then we had scrap, in which blood
was drawn and clothing torn, and it
was understood that as soon as we
landed in Australia there should be a
shooting match. On the next day the
widow was mine for couple OF hours.
While talked love more or less, felt
it my duty to warn her against the
other twenty-four men in the most SOL
emn manner. The lady thanked me
over and over again for my more than
brotherly interest. and when | at last
handed her to seat and went off for
a smoke | was ready to ask her to
name the day.
After tiffin that evening. when l had
gone to my cabin to change coats, the
door was suddenly banged open, and a
fellow named Richards entered. | had
learned that he was a needy lawyer,
going out to the colony in hopes to
better his purse.
"Sir, l want few plain words with
you" began the miserable wretch as |
confronted him. Il am as good as en-
gagged to Mrs. Warner, and # gOu will
only bear that in mind hereafter it
may save you trouble"
We came together. We clawed. kick
ed. bit and pulled hair. and we were
both badly damaged when we got
through.
AS soon as | could properly appear
on deck decided to settle matters one
way or the other. was waiting for
the widow to appear when | was in
vited to the smoking room to debate a
matter Of business. | found the other
twenty men there. When the
meeting had been called to order cal
low youth arose and inquired if it was
understood that the whole twenty-five
of us were In love with some woman,
1t was so understood. He then stated
that he felt himself engaged to that
woman and wanted to know If the rest
of us did. We felt 50. Then the cal
low youth asked if any one had sug-
gestion to offer. Twenty-four sugges'
tions were offered in chorus. but the
callow youth turned them all down
for one of his own.
Then everybody drew in his breath
and turned on his neighbor but before