The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12

Maauma would be doled out to his greedy Employees.
 Sometimes he would be compelled to fork over nearly half of the Gross .whereupon his heart would ache and he would become Morose.
 In a few Years he had a lot of new Buildings. with Skylignts and improved Machinery and all sorts of humane Ap- pllances to enable the Working Force to increase the Output.
 As the Bank Account expanded and the Happy Couple found themselves or Plush,. Claudine began to sean the Ho- rizon and act rest1ess-like.
 She said the Home Town was Impos- sible. It certainly did seem Contrary to Reason.
 Any Woman with a salaried Husband could burst into Society if she sang in a Choir or owned an lce-Cream Freezer
 Claudine was for migrating to soms high-toned Community beyond the Ris- ing Sun. where she could sit in Marble Halls and campare Jewelry with proud pucnnas of her own Station.
 Seeing Claudine at the corner of Stl and Central, waiting for the Green Car one would not have suspected that she harbored Intentions on the Court Circles of Europe. One would merely have guessed that she was on her way to the Drug Store to purchase more Camphor
 But she had taken a Peek at the Palm Rooms and the powdered Lackeys and the Tea Riot at the Plaza, and she was pant ing inwardly.
 She wanted to hang a silver bell around her neck and go galloping with the white faced Thoroughbreds.
 It was no good trying to work up Speed on a half-mile track in the Prairie Mud
 Once in while Claudine made a bold Sashay to start something deviish. bu the Fillies trained on the Farm did moi seem gaited for the Grand Circuit.
 As for the Servant Problem, 1t was something Ferocious. City Help could no be lured to the Tall Grass, and all the Locals had been schooled at the Railway Eating House.
 Elam and Claudine had a Cook namet Gusta, born somewhere near the Arcti, Circle in Europe.
 Her Fried Chicken drowned in thick Gravy came under the head of Regular Food
 She could turn out waffles as long as there was a Customer in sight. The Bis cults on which she specialized were light as Down.
 The things she fixed to Eat were Fine and Dandy, but she never had heard oi a Cuisine. When you took her away iron regular CnOW ana made her tackle some thing Casserole or En Tasse she blew
 Also there was maid who should have belonged to the Stevedores Union
 She could pack Victuals in from the Buttery and slam them down on the Ia. ble a la Commercial Hotel, but wher 1t came to building up an intricate De- sign with an ingrowing Napkin, three Spoons, four Knives, five Forks. and al the long-steemed Glasses, to say nothing of an artful pyramiding of Cut Flowers around the Candeabra, then she was sim ply female Blacksmith.
 Claudine would throw a Dinner once in while, just to subdue the Wife and Daughter of the National Bank, but the Crew would nearly always crab the En- tertainment
 With the Support accorded by the bone headed Staff, she had fat Chance tc give correct Imitation of Mrs. Stuy- vesant Fish.
 All during the nine Courses she had to yelp more Orders than the Foreman of Street Gang. A Megaphone would have helped some.
 The Hostess who wishes to look and carry on like Duchess. certainly finds 1t vexing when pop-eyed Lizzie leans against all of the principal Guests in turn and then endeavors to shoot the Episcopalian Rector in the Neck with a suSl of real Champagne.
 After one of these fliv. Affairs. at which the Rummies had balled mp the