The Washington herald., 1914-06-24
Statesmen, Real and Near.
Rr FREn q KEfI.Y.


Senator MARITIME rather enjoys presid.
ing occasionally over the United States
Senate wheE thefyice President is oui
iof the chamber. Most Of the other SEN
4 ators regard II as a more or less annoy
ing ehore to pyeside. and so MARITIME is
asked 10 take the steering wheel oftener
than any other member.
An hour or two in the chair pals.
however. even on MARITIME. One afternoon
the talk became so tiresome that he be-
gan 10 work on his nervous energy by
serawiing his Impressions Of things on a
scrap Of paper that lay in front Of him.
He did this almost without knowing
he was doing H. As he absentmindedIy
toyed with q pencil his thoughts simply
crawied out Of the lead and over the
sheet OF paper.
Later on a little page boy. who had
seen MARITIME abs ractedly making notes,
picked up the sect Of paper. and here
Is sample OF what he read:
They're talking now abort the grain
inspection bill.
Wheat wheat. wheat
Il never heard so much talk about
wheat
wheat?
II wish they'd talk about rye.
RYE is a lot more interesting than
wheat -
Senator so-and-so is speaking now.
"oh. he makes me sick"
Representative Frank 3. Willis sprung
a startling statement the other day in a
cioakroom conversation on the high cost
OF living. Willis asserted-and did so
with such an air OF truthflilness that
many were inclined TO believe him-that
there is good boarding house in lis
town Of Ada, Ohio. where one can get
twenty-one meals for s1.75. or 25 cents n
day. They are good meals. too. Willis
insists He says that he himself boards
there whenever he goes home for a few
days. and that he invariably leaves the
table perfectly satisfied. That last state
ment was clincher, for Willis is a large
person and eats practically the same
amount as the average horse. IL they
can feed Willis three meals for a quarter I
and satisfy his appetite and make |
reasonable profit from the transaction. |
there Is something wrong somewhere. |
The middlemen. or the endmen, or some |
body Is exacting too much money. II 4 |
Congressman In Ada. Ohio. can be boarded
Tor N.IS week. a man in Washington |
who pays 10 cents for a piece OF rhubarO |
pie onght at least 10 get a full quarter
section.
When Louis Ludlow, Washington corre-
spondent Of the indianapolis Star, and
various other papers, was just entering
Indianapolis journalism, he was sent one
night 10 write an account of a society
and he undertook to describe
the gowns and jewels worn by all the
beautiful women. He did not attempt to
describe every item OF each OUTFIT, hut
Just the salient features, thus: Mrs
DE Hicks, pale pink velvet over blue
plush; Mrs. Won Tumpty, black char
meuse and muslin with gold braid. For
one woman he wrote merely: Mrs.
Smith, pearl necklace and diamond PEN
dant"
This last item attracted tn. attention
81 the city editor: Says he: Louis, We
have rule here that all women who 20
INTO our columns must be propcrly
clothed think for propriety's sake we'd
better give her a bracelet"
When Representative P. d. Decker, Of |
Joplin. Mo.-which is in the heart Of the
hoW-me section OF that State-came here ,
o Congress. he called at the costly home ,
u former Secretary MacVeagh and ex- :
PRESSED a desire to engage rooms there, ,
linking the place was an apartment ,
louse. 1t was built In the shape OF an ,
Ipartment house, and Decker was doubt a
he modern high-priced hives with day
nd night elevator service and uninform-
d. uniformed attendants.
The story OF Decker's error leaked out I
nd got into the papers. and some OF the
lew members friends came to offer
ympathy.
Too bad. Everybody back home will
ear OF II and make fun of you for your
snorance," said they. in sadness.
kNs I
Jared Decker. It'll be good campaign Il
laterial, and I'm going to use II in All Z
iy speeches. I'll point out the wicked
ess OF anybody having such a big house n
hat II could be taken for an apartment II
uilding. and remind ny people of how
1rtunate they are not TO live in a com
lunity where such mistakes could hap
en-. And I'll cite the incident as proof .,
lat did not take naturally TO the costly =,
avs OF the money ridden East. Then
II my people will be more content than
YER with the simple life Of joplin and
1virons. and they'll rise up and bless !,
e and re-elect me-" "
1t is the proud boast OF Representative
harlie Adamson. chairman Of the House
ommittee on Interstate and Foreign m
ommerce. that although he practiced
W for many years. he never accumu- re
ted more than one small farm and six
,ws. "l
a few years ago. when Miss Genevieve u
lark. daughter of the Speaker of the
ouse, was a wee little girl. she went on
e floor OF the House with her father
le day to see the closing OF a session ~
Congress. One of the members sug- W.
'sted that Just before they adjourned h.
ey all rise and sing The Star SpangIed
amer" Now. the only trouble with ~
rhe Star Spangled Banner is that only ts
'out one person in 1000 knows the %
ords beyond the first three or four lines
ne members of the House started to
ng and got along fairly well for
mute or two. and then in punches OF
'enties and thirties they dropped out ju
the chorus for lack of informa ton on wi
hat line came next A few tried to keep
humming, but along about the middle ah
the second verse. only one voice was lal
be heard. II was that OF little Miss
ark And without faltering, or missing :
word. she sang the piece through to in
e end
Upright. 1914, BY Fred c. Kelly. All rights r.
seFTedl