The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1914-03-14

BY the
second Fiddle. -

"A germs can I'VE for weeks on a
4 = one dollar bill Lucky germs
o
HOUSEHOLD HINT FOR TODAY
IN marrying the girl with whom YOU
Once made mud pies. FIRST satisfy
Yourself hat she has passed the arst
grade.
JOHN D. ROCKEFELLER has Icgt.
Cleveland $50. 600. coo In his viii. At.
last the persistent rumor that John
Is to leave Cleveland permanently ~
confirmed.
ONE THING about the dynamitcrs
commands respect. They've got
nerve.
A PARDON by the president would
be a fitting reward for their efforts In
blowing up the Los Angeles Times.
o
M THE president should pardon
them It's a cinch one Otis would
blow W.
WHICH would be nothing new Tor
Los NuEiIes.
NJ AkAAEANNNs w MlN WNA HNAAAk w
say anything funny about that duel
between NJ Richcpin and NJ From
daire al Ncuhly.
q
me ONLY WAY we can explain 1t
i,l hat villa has shot his press agent
o
now would you like to carry
around tue habcas corpus Of $500
49, ..E.a-
O.
JUDGE BURNS OF Houston says
he's occupied with a Ease that viii
Keep him busy for the rest OF his
life.
WHIsKEY FIRM ndyertises that It's
product "overcomes prejudice against
whiskey." Lot Of people viii be sur
priscd Co learn that there is a pref
udlce.
THERE ARE 3i5 ways OF CLEANSING
"a quarter. says the owlish exchange
editor. Whereupon we rise and recall
that there are f67.f15 ways of spend
ing "a quarter. We have tried them
an. But we do not know how many
ways there are Of spending a dollar.
FOR THE AVERAGE married man
ready money is a lot more useful than
a ready excuse.
NEVER JUDGE "A woman's mind
by the time It takes her to make IL
up.
&
SHE may have had ii made up all
the time.
o
a TECHNICALfTY iu the law Is
something to prevent the law from
accomplishing its legal end.
o
INCREASED chicken shipments to
England emphasize the popularity
abroad Of the American musical COM
cdy.
q
BOSTON WOMEN say two years OF
courtship Is enough, Any woman Ia
Boston who mad two years Of court
ship would get pinched for violating
the Sherman act.
d
THE RECORDS In che county
clerks office OF late indicate that Gu
pid also has adopted the policy of
N"iNhAHi h"iNifh'
O.
THE MEDICAL profession Is said
to approve OF that Texas 4O0,0o0.O0
Watermelon crop.
d
EXPLANATION of the fact that
there Ia no verbatim report OF AM
hassndor Pages after-dinner speech
In London IL that 'tho speech was
made late In the evening and no verb
atm report OF Il was taken" Muir
derl Somebody please hurry up and
explain that explanation to the tee
total head OF the state department.
Hath grape juice diplomacy faltered
under insidious lures Of -. james,
o
THE TANGO has reached Charles
ton. =. C.. which indicates that it's
death is in sight
q
MARRIAGE, say scientists. is "a
sure cu"e for appendicitis. But recoy-
cry from removal Of the vermiform
appendix Is much quicker.
O.
THE HAND PAINTED Easter egg
Is 10 be much in vogue.
.
IL OHIO they have pinchcd the
Democratic state chairman Tor run
min "a publicity bureau. Next In or
der Is a law 20 prohibit the big boss
from sitting IN the corner OF his club
with immohlle face and chewing "a
long black cigar. when we do that
we eliminate political nciion and thus
retire aIl politics from the public
prints,
@
WI REALLY didn't expect the Re
puhllcans 10 take our advice.