davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
TWO WAYS TO LOOK AT 1T
If Customer Was in Luck in Getting
Hat to Fit Him, How About the
Shop Keeper?

After playing matinee perform
ance recently in Omaha, relates a
popular actor, discovered my hat
was missing from my dressing room.
This was really serious loss, for,
being possessed of an exceptionally
large head, it is not unusually neces-
sary for me to visit every hat shop in
the town before can find a hat to fit
Finally, after lot of effort and deter
mination, l found hat shop where
they had just one hat that would fit
me, inquired the price of 1t, and the
shop keeper answered with an en-
couraging smile that it was five dol
lars. 1t struck me that the hat wasn't
worth that, being somewhat out of
date, offered him two and half
1.-TWO and a half" he exclaimed,
struggling his shoulders. why, you
ought to be mighty glad to get that
even for five dollars. Where will you
be able to find hat large enough to
fit your head?"
That may be true" answered,
"but where will you be able to find a
head large enough to fit your hat?"
got the hat for two and half
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
FROM BEHIND THE BAR.

An ex-saloonkeeper. writing recent
ly in the Oregon Daily Journal, says:
81 know many thousands of saloon
keepers in the United States, but |
have yet to hear one express an opin-
ion favorable to his own calling He
will say, Well I'm in it for the money,
and just as soon as get enough Of
that I'll quit the business Only res
Gently a down town saloonkeeper said
to me, Just one day and night spent
in. a saloon would make temperance
advocate Of anyone
I'm not churchman. but will
say that my tongue and pen while life
lasts will be used in favor Of tenn.
perance, to make some small amends
for the worse than wasted years
spent behind the saloon bar"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
HAD CEASED TO BOTHER HIM
self-Possessed Young Person Took
Extreme Measures With Head
gear That Offended Him.

There is a certain young woman OF
Brooklyn who possesses a. hat of which
she is Unfortunately proud. 1t was a
small hat originally, but the owner
had increased it's proportions materi.
ly by the addition of willow plumes
attached to wire backbones.
Now, she wore this hat to music
festival not long ago. and she felt
very much dressed up. As she leaned
back gracefully and complacently in
her chair, she felt gentle Juggling at
the aforesaid hat from behind.
So she turned and said to self
possessed young man in her rear:
Does my hat bother you?"
mot at all" said the young man.
She OF the hat thought 1t over for a
while. It occurred to her that per-
haps she had been ungracious. Ac-
cordingly she turned again, this time
with this query:
Perhaps the plumes interfere with
your view of the stage?"
AT first they did," confessed the
self-possessed young person, "but I
bent 'em down."
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
True to His Principles.

A newcomer to Idaho from the
strictly prohibition state of Kansas
had the misfortune one wintry day to
fall into the rapids of a swift-run-
ming river when the thermometer
stood several degrees below zero. He
was saved with difficulty, and his
clothes became a rafting sheath OF
ice before his rescuers could get him
to the nearest saloon.
"What'll you have, DAM" inquired
the barkeep,' solicitously.
The Kansan opened his eyes and an.
swered weakly: Guess I'll take a
glass of emonade.-Lippincotts.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

sluggish liver better than dose of
nasty calomel and that it won't make
you sick.
Dodson's Liver Tone is real liver
medicine. You'll know it next morn
ing because you will wake up feeling
fine. your liver will be working, your
headache and dizziness gone, your
stomach will be sweet and your bowels
regular You will feel like working;
you'll be cheerful; full of vigor and
ambition.
Dodson's Liver Tone is entirely
vegetable, therefore harmless and can.
not salivate. Give it to your children.
Millions of people are using Dodson's
Liver Tone instead of dangerous cal
omel now. Your druggist will tell you
that the sale of calomel is almost
stopped entirely here
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
FABLE THAT CARRIES MORAL
Comparison Of Lusty FaIsehood With
Certain Gloss of Truths Is
Worth Consideration.

A fox that was caught in farmers
hen coop concluded that prevarication
might save him. In response to the
farmers query as to what he meant
by stealing chickens, the fox said: Il
never stole chickens in my life. I'm a
vegetarian"
What were you doing in my hen
coop?"
Il merely stopped here to talk about
the war from perfectly neutral stand
point"
But how about that dead and half
eaten chicken? Perhaps you know
nothing about that"
But do, though" said the fox. "A
mink did that He ran away at your
approach. ! would have left, too but
the smell of fresh blood made me sick
and faint"
When the farmer regained con-
seriousness the fox was gone and so
was another fat hen.
Moral: An athletic falsehood'is bet
ter than kindergarten truth.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
Luck.

We heard story the other day
about a Cleveland minister Of the
gospel who was giving the small son
of a neighbor an elementary lesson in
ethics, relates the Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
My boy" he said, Il am no longer
young. have lived for As years and
have never used alcohol or tobacco
in any form. have never INDUCED in
profane language. and | have never
allowed myself to tell an untruth.
When was :. boy like you never ran
away from school and never gave my
dear mother a minutes worry. And
l."
Have you got any kids?"
Children, do'you mean? No, have
no boys of my own, but"
"Gee!"
What is the matter?''
'Nothin', parson. l was just think.
in how lucky those kids is that you
amt got!"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
CALOMEL IS MERCURY, IT S|CKENS!
STOP USING SAUVAT|NG DRUG
Don't Lose Days Work! Your Liver Sluggish or Bowels
constipated Take "Dodsons Liver Tone"-ts Fine!

You're bilious! Your liver is slug
gish! You feel lazy. dizzy and all
knocked out. Your head is dull, your
tongue is coated; breath bad; stomach
sour and bowels constipated But don't
take saliyating calomel. 1t makes you
sick, you may lose a days work.
Calomei is mercury or quicksilver
which causes necrosis of the bones
Calomel crashes into sour bile like
dynamite. breaking it up. That's when
you feel that awful nausea and cramp-
ing.
II you want to enjoy the incest, gen.
tlest liver and bowel cleansing you
ever experienced just take spoonful
of harmless Dodson's Liver Tone. Your
druggist or dealer sells you 50-cent
bottle of Dodson's Liver Tone under
my personal money-back guarantee
that each spoonful will clean your
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
Pertinent Suggestion.

A wealthy but misery merchant was
celebrated for having a magnificently
decorated dining room, whilst his
viands were very few. A celebrated
wit was invited to dine on certain
occasion, and the host asked him if he
didn't think the room elegant.
Yes" was the reply. But it is not
quite to my taste"
"And what change would you
make?" asked the host
Well" answered the wit. "if this
were my house, you know. | would
have"-iooking at the ceiling LESS
gliding and"-here he glanced furtive.
~ at the dining table--''more carving
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
St. Simon's Skeleton.

The duke of Portland has presented
to the British Museum of Natural His
tory the skeleton Of the famous race
horse st. Simon. till now preserved at
WelbecS, and it will eventually be ex-
hibited beside the skeleton Of st. ST.
mons son, Persimmons. now shown in
the museum. 1t is of interest to note
that the first four horses in the recent
Derby were all descendants of st 81,
mon Other famous racehorses of
which the skulls and, in some In
stances. the skeletons are preserved in
the museum are Stockwell, Ormonde,
Bend.Or, Royal Hampton and Dono-
van.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
A REBELLION
Food Demanded.

The human body will stand lot Of
abuse. but sometime it will surely re.
bel and demand proper food in place
of the pasty. starchy, greasy stuffs on
which it has been made sick.
Then Is the time to try Grape-Nuts,
the most scientific and perfect food in
the world.
A lady of Washington says: Three
years ago | was very i'll with catarrh
Of the stomach and was given up to
die by one doctor. | laid in bed four
months and my stomach was SO weak
that could not keep down medicine
or hardly any kind of food and was 80
weak and emaciated after four months
of this starvation that my daughter
could easily lift me from bed and put
me in my chair.
But weak as my stomach was, 1t
accepted, relished and Cigested Grape.
Nuts without any difficulty the first
time that wonderful food was tried.
II am now strong and In better
health than for a great many years
and am gradually growing still
stronger. l rely on Grape,Nuts for
much OF the nourishment that get.
The results have certainly been Won
derful in my case and prove that no
stomach is so weak 1t will not digest
Grape-Nuts.
MY baby got fat from feeding on
Grape-Nuts. ! was afraid would
have to stop giving the food to him
but guess II is healthy fat. for his
health is just perfect" Name given
by Postum Co.. Battle Greek, Mich.
Look In pkgs. for the famous little
book. The Road to MELVILLE
there's a Reason"
Ever read the above lettert new
one appears from time TO time. They
are genuine, true, and fall Of humsn
interest.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
Farmers to Help.

Yonkers, N. Y, has Housewives
league that has started an investiga-
ton OF the high prices being charged
by the local dealers. Mrs. H. M. Crow
der. at the head Of the league. eau
toned the members against laying in
too large supplies and urged them to
buy more economically than ever. The
farmers will be asked to cooperate
with the league and keep the mem
bers supplied.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
TAXES IN LICENSE AND No.LI.
cENSE TOWNS.

Mayor Bennett of Rockford, ILL.,. a
city Of about $4,000, has this to say
concerning taxes in license and no
license cities: Il have looked up the
records and l find that out Of Is
cities of its class Rockford has the
lowest tax rate for the last year OF
any. This includes all taxes. A man
who owns $4,000 home in Rockford
paid $45.56 in taxes last year. The
tax on the same home in Freeport was
$685., and in East st. Louis, the most
heavily burdened with saloons OF any
city in the state of Illinois, the taxes
at the same time on a $4,000 homo
were $T620"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
EASY WAY TO CLEAR
BAD COMPILATIONS

Pimples and blackheads disappear.
red, rough, blotchy compilations be-
come clean. clear and velvety, and
hair health and beauty are aided by
the regular use of Resinol Soap and a
little Resinol Ointment. They do their
work easily, quickly and at little cost.
even when other methods fail
Resinoi Ointment and Resinol Soap
stop itching instantly and speedily heal
skin humors. sores, wounds and chat.
ings. Sold by all druggists
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
Alsace and Lorraine.

The area of Alsace is 1914 square
miles; of Lorraine. $500 square miles.
Population of Alsace-Lorraine, 1,S00,-
0c0. of mixed German, French and Celt
stock. Incorporated with the German
empire in the tenth century. Alsace-
Lorraine had been practically French
since the treaty of Westphalia, In 164S,
until it was taken by Germany in 1871
as one of the spells of the Franco
Prpssian war.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
Defective Glasses.

Insanity is rapidly increasing in
this country. In 1890 the number of
insane in the United States was 106,-
485; in 1906 the insane in hospitals
alone numbered 150,151. In 1910 the
figures exceeded 100000. In 13 years
from 1890 to hostile number Of
insane hospitals increased from 162
to 22S. The number of "feeble-mind-
ed" in the country is about two hun
dred and twenty-five thousand.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
WHAT SALOONS ARE.

know what these saloons are. !.
have visited them at all hours OF the
night and on all nights Of the week.
and there is not an extenuating word
that deserves to be spoken in be.
half of them. They are foul, beastly
and swinish, the prolific hotbeds OF
vile politics, profane ribaldry. and I'M
speakable sensuality. - Charles Fl
Parkhlrst. d. D.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
Next Thino to II.

whats become Of that red-headed
Judkins boy who used TO say he want
ed. to be pirate on the Spanish
main7''
His ambition has been gratified
about as well as modern conditions
will permit
How so?"
He's now taxicab chanffe;,r on
Broadway"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
Roll Of British soldier Dead.

beautifully illuminated book, con
tanning $4,000 names. q roll of the
dead in the South African war, is on
view at the Royal United Service in
stitution at London. 1t will be placed
in Cape Town cathedral as part OF
memorial.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
PROTECTION FOR BOWS.

Ask the mothers where they desire
protection for their boys and they re.
ply, I'VE want 1t in the cities as well
as in the towns; we want sc wherever
our boys are, and our boys are in
every part OF the state"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

Il have seven wives" explained the
unspeakable Turk to the interviewer.
Great Caesar! How do you man
age to pay your dressmaker's bills?"
Il married dressmakers, son of an
infidel Philadelphia Public Ledger.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
Rub Il On and Rub II In.

Fer lame back and soreness, sprains
and strains, sore throat and stiff neck,
you must rub on and rub in thorough.
ly IIanford's Balsam of Myrrh. Re-
member that one good application at
first is better than several light ones.
Adu
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
HOW IT WORKS.

When saloonkeeper puts man out
of a job, he disgraces the man and
makes him unfit for another job, and
he disgraces his whole family
When no-license puts saloonkeeper
out of a job, he becomes more honor
able citizen, his family becomes more
honorable, and the community secures
a wealth-producing workman instead
of a wealth destroying workman.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

The government census reports the
robin as the most numerous native
bird east OF the plains. Any man with
a cherry orchard can confirm the sta
t.sticai information.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

Although yawning is said to be good
for the health. that doesn't make the
Young man who stays till midnight
any more acceptable as eugenic
candidate.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

A new peril to the motorist is re.
uorted from Newport, where driver
lodging bee upset his car and In
tured three occupants. The moral of
conrss. Is safety first" and be stung.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

some people spend so much money
xesting ready for vacations that they
,aa. never travel very far. Still, II
most OF the fun is In the anticipation.
what Is the difference?
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

It's well to remember. these days.
that many professional optimist who
declares he enjoys hot weather MAY
be merely a stakeholder in an ice com.
7any.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

Accused of beating her husband, a
New Jersey woman told the court that
sue thrashed him soundly every t,mS
abe caught him drinking. Another
reason why husbands leave home
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
The Modern Mother.

Mother-Willie, come here.
Willie-No, won't.
Mother-Come, darling. Motherll
give you an apple if you'll let her whip
you.-Boston Transcript.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

That present style OF close fitting
coifure adopted by the women shows
that the movement to patronize home
ipdustries has invaded the realm Of
Fashion to the conservation Of home
crown hnir.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

Credit Man-No, we can't sell you
those goods on four months time.
Isaacs-Vy not? ! gifts you my
note.
Credit Man--But your notes do not
sell ON the street.
Isaacs-Mine gracious no; or would
go home and make notes instead OF
clothing. Boston Transcript.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
. BED SIX WEEKS
An ADfui Siege of Rheumafisss
and Kidney Trouble

r. r. Iunn. Main ST., Franklin. Tenn.
says; For years l was In bad shape from
disordered kidneys Rheumatism followed
and often the attacks OF pain were 30 bad
couldn't work. The kidney secretlons
contained sediment and looked like brick
dust, and my kidneys acted too fresiy.
though the Becretions were scanty. The pas
sages were attended with scalding pafn.
had to get up often at night on Account Of
this weakness and as the result OF loss OF
sleep felt all worn out. Ny back aclfed al
most constantly and couldn't stoop or lift
without pain. tried everything knew OF.
but steadily got worse until had to give
up. 1 was in bed for six weeks and couldn't
move without suffering. When / heard about
Doau's Kidney Pills, i tried them and the
first box made me feel so much better that
kept on. The pain soon left, my Kidneys
became normal and I gained over Twenty
five pounds In weight The rheumatic pains
left me. too. and best of all, the cure has
been permanent i use Doans Kidney Pills
once in awhile as kidney tonic"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

It's homely girl that a photogra-
pher cannot pose to look pretty.--Des-
eret News.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
Had Mo Objection.

Callow Youth--Can ] have this
dance?
Proud Beanty Why. certainly
don't want 1t.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

II you can't get Hanford's Balsam of
Myrrh write: G. c. Hanford Mfg. Co.,
Syracuse, N. Y. Two sizes: SOC and
$1.00. ADV,
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

Indigestion of the conscience is usu-
ally due to stolen sweets.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
Good Place

How a woman does enjoy quarrel
ing with man who isn't quarrelsome.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
The Clue.

THAT man is a Wall street lamb
How do you know"
"By his sheepish expression"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

A woman's idea of economy is to
trade some old thing she needs for
some new thing she has no earthly
use for.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

Courtship is the frying pan and mat
rimony Is the fire.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

Mixed Metaphor.
why do you want to run an auto
mobile?"
"To keep in the swim"
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

Made since 1846-Hanford's Balsam
Adv.
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13
SPECIAL TO WOMEN

The most economical, cleansing and
.s germicidal Of all antiseptics is
McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1914-11-13

As to Doan's Kidney Pills, read shs
following enthusiastic endorsement by
one who has tested them.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1914-03-10
Have Faith.

Nurture your mind with great
thoughts. To believe in the heroic
makes heroes.-Disraeli.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1914-03-10
English Comment
On Wilson's Message

ingly supported the administration q
foreign policy, shall not know how
20 deal with other matters Of even
greater delicaoy and nearer conse-
quence."
Mr.. Mann read from London
dispatch. headed: Thinks United
States Fears Japan.
After reading that dispatch, said
Mr.. Mann, can appreciate the sie.
nificance Of the last remark of the
president in his message calling for
protection Of this government from
a war with japan and for this gov
eminent to act at the behest OF Eur
ope. ! do not court. but am not
afraid of war with Japan or with
any one else. and would not yield
what believe to be the right thru
lear. whatever else might do.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1914-03-10
SENATOR PoINDExTER
WANTS PRIEST. WILSON
TO EXPLAIN HIS WORDS

Washsgton, March T. Senator
Poindexter, Progressive, introduced h
resolution calling on President Will
son to explain what matters Of even
greater delicacy and nearer conse-
quence, he referred to in his address
to Congress yesterday as depending
on the repeal of the Panama tolls ex-
emption.
The resolution with similar one
by Senator Jones, Republican of Wash
ington went over for day under the
rules.
At the White House Friday the
president when questioned about that
feature of his address explained that
he meant to say that 1t was very awk-
ward to deal with foreign nations
which took the position that the Uni
ted States did not live up to its
treaty obligations. That particular
phrase of the address, however, was
widely discussed in official and con-
gressional circles and many construc-
tons were applied to It.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1914-03-10
SERIOUS IRREGULARITIES

Washington, March 7.-Serious ir-
Irregularities in the accounting Of the
Chicago, Milwaukee & st. Paul rail-
way and its subsidiary, the Chicago,
Milwaukee & Puget Sound, were
charged in the report Of an interstate
commerce commission investigation
today by Commissioner Harlan which
makes the direct allegation that ir-
Irregularities in reports of operations
submitted to the commission were
made for the purpose Of Influencing,
railway securities.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1914-03-10
GENERAL CARRANZA 4,
WILL LEAVE FOR ]
ChiHUAHUA9

Naco. Sonora. Mexico, March T.
General Carranza. accompanied by
about 500 troops, left here yesterday
upon his cross country march into
Chihuahua. He probably will touch
tomorrow at Aqua Prieta opposite
Douglas. Arizona. There more troops
will join his escort.
The constitutionalist commandment
chief had sent his automobile to
Juarez through the United States. He
rode on horseback at the head of his
personal guard of 100 men, which fol-
lowed by the Fourth infantry of So.
nora state troops.
Before his departure General Car
rama was visited by the American
school children from the American
school OF Naco, who marched over
the international line with their teach
ers. Carranza welcomed them through
an interpreter.