Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1914-09-21
In Land of Jokedom

He-Ah, darling, I could not i've
without you!
she-Why that's just what papa
says!-Judge.
Fat girls are said to be good
natured."
Take my advice, old man. and
marry thin one. They can fasten
their own waists up the back. Pitts
burgh Post.
YES said the principal of the
young ladies' seminary to the proud
parent, you ought to be very happy
my dear sir to be the father of so
large family. all the members OF
which appear to be devoted to one
another"
Large family. Devoted" gasped
the old gentleman in amazement.
What on earth do you mean,
ma ann"
why, yes, indeed" said the prin-
cipal, beaming through her glasses.
mo fewer than eleven of Hates
brothers hayes been here this winter
to take her to the theatre and she
tells me she expects the tall one with
the blue eyes again tomorrow. '-Ex-
change.
Richard. who was three years old.
made daily visits to a neighbor across
the street One day when he was
making his CALL Miss Kate. who was
writing a letter. was called to the
phone. Richard climbed into her
chair and with pen made two or
three marks across the page.
When Miss Kate returned he was
seated in a rocking chair in front of
the crate.
Discovering the marks. she said:
Richard, did you mark on my let
! ter?''
He rocked on and in a very serious
! tone said: II amt a-goin' to talk"
Indianapolis News.
Mr.. 5Littlerest-Docto what did you
tell me was your special treatment for
sleeplessness?
Medlco-We strike at the cause or
the origin of the trouble.
Mr.. LittIerest--You don't say So
Well. you will find the baby in the
other room. Only dent strike at him
too hard. Exchange.
Little Geraldina. aged five, had nm
shed her dirBer. which included
horseradish the first she had ever
| tasted She listened to the comments
of her elders as to how delicious 1t
was. but how strong. When her faith
er left the table she followed him to
the door and said sadly: Papa, did
| YOU have to kill a horse to get it?''--
| Exchange.
A New England man tells of a man
! In lNnetHnlh xUhn had haa.1
married four times and had been SO
unfortunate as to lose all his wives.
Such a matter, of course had this
| mans weddings come to be in West
field that when, after a year OF
widowerhood, he announced his fifth
engagement one of the neighbors
| said
Richard / suppose getting married
| comes pretty natural to you by tksA
time. doesn't it?'
WELL" said Richard, after due re-
Election, this fifth marriage aiNst
| going to seem so natural. Old Par
son Beggs off on a trip to Europe
| and he's never failed to tie the knot
for me.
"I said to Mary that I didn't think
it would feel like a wedding without
| Parson Begg; but she said that it
was her turn to choose, and that she
meant to start out with that young
minister that just come to town, aud
that If he did we'll, she guessed she'd
stick to him. She didn't explain what
she meant, but it sounded kinder om-
nous to me.'-Exchange.
I'VE are somewhat musical, and
now the family next door is having
the daughter taking singing lessons"
Emulation, en-
Looks more like revenge."-Ex-
| change.
After many years Hicks met Rix, q
friend of his schoolboy days. Almost
half a century had passed since they
had gone to school together and now
each was a gray-haired father OF
family.
Hicks was entertaining Rix, and
was showing him his household
goods. He was facetious soul who
took an altogether uncalled-for de-
light in his own somewhat feeble
Jokes and witticisms.
THAT" said he, pointing to paint
| ing, lis portrait of my wife's first
husband"
why" said Rix, you never told
me that your wife had been married
hefore." He examined the picture
with some interest. well, he looks
a real dough- headed sort of idiot,
anyway"
THAT" said Hicks, SIS portrait
of myself at the age of Twenty-Five.
| siri"-Exchange
Z c.