davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24

II HE tiger is a fierce and awful beast
who lives IN Asia and eats his
food raw.
This wouldn't be so bad if the tiger
were particular about his food. But he
isn't. He eats deer when he can get them
and cattle at all season. But when other
food is scarce, he eats farmers, travellers,
qualified voters and other members OF
society. A tiger can eat a whole man
at a meal and it IS always meal time
with him. To meet large empty tiger
in the Jungle is almost as unpleasant as
to be a Republican OfficehOlder not I'M
der civil service IN a Democratic admins
tratiOn.
The tiger belongs to the cat family
and acts like it. He Is sometimes 10
feet long over all and when he lashes
his tail and grOWls in a voice which
sounds like an iceberg rubbing along a
ships side, he reduces the happiness IN
that vicinity to zero minus. He IS yell
low in color and Is beautifully striped
with large burnsides and long dignifIed
Whiskers. But beauty lOcers appreciate
him more when he is behind half inch
steel bars. Only q few men have tried
to tame the fierce and naughty tiger and
they have only been partially recovered.
The tiger can leap immense distances
with his fine eOilsprign muscles and IS so
strong that he can kill COW, fling her
over his shoulder and gallon merTily off
with the police department losing ground
behind every minute. But he cannot
be taught to do anything useful. Men
have tried it in India and also IN New
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24
II Years Ago To-Day
From The Herald This Date 1900.

Morris Prudential is down from
Las Cruces.
W F. Weber, a G. H. switchman,
is taking few days off
The Rio Grande started to rise this
morning and the run is now consider
able.
James E. Morse and daughter are
visitors in the city from Sanderson
Texas.
Thomas Evans returned this morn
ing from eastern Texas, after an ao-
sence Of more than a year
W F. Mclean. who has been visit
ing friends in this city from Chihua-
hua, returned home yesterday.
Mr.. and Mre. J. A. Durreu, who have
been spending the summer with Mr..
and Mrs II. p. Durreu of this city,
left for Cincinnati this morning
The Tennessee club will meet this
afternoon at the office of A. p Coles
to decide upon the disposal of the
funds realized from governor Bob Tay-
IOrs entertainment.
The tournament announced for the
baseball championship Of the south
west viii be everything predicted for
it FL Paso players are pracuclnS
daily in preparation for the series.
Mayor Magoffin came in last night
from AlamOgOrdO to attend council
meeting and see how municipal az
fairs were progressing. He viii de-
turn to Alamogordo today to bring
Mrsi MagOffin home.
Grand prelate F. B. Adams, OF the
K. of p, CT Albuquerque, came down
TO FL Paso this morning and left Tor
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24
His Lost Opportunity

~ RAPE JUICE Bryan
Aires permitted this country because his
No a opening
political
Democracy the tiger represents the donkey the old school
llama might been associated with the elephant
gentle
of
him
secretary Bryans
and the
the universally applied to him
difficulty lodging moving picture
Alice Roosevelt had with photographers
face figure Washington the dressing
perfection and looks the the the land
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24
One-Sentence Philosophy
QUAKER 1IEDITATTONs.

NEQlldQGlpuld H6cOTQ.)
F12ttery among friends is a case Of
either make or break.
Hats may be blocked while you wait.
Ditto trolley cars.
Many a mans wasted energy is re-
stricted entirely to praising himself
The fellow who pats himself on the
back is quite satisfied to stand pat.
When you get in a .rutt tits well to
drop out. but it is better ii climb out.
Instead Of taking time bv the fore
lock some people are satisfied to hang
onto his coat tails
Naturally there wouldn't be so much
dissatisfaction in the world if other
people were only satisfied with what
they have.
TOmmy-"Pop, what is an idealist?'
Tcmmy's POp-"An idealist, my son, is
very young man who thinks all
women are angels"
I tell you, it's hard to lose your
friends" sighed the pessimist. Hard?
Its impossible replied the optimfst,
who was also knowR among them as
q good thing.
BlObbs-''There' a type OF. man who
VIII shake you most effUsively by the
hand when you have money" Slobbs-
And when it's gone VIII shake you al
together.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24
GIVE HIM Up.

Dear Miss Fairfax: -,
11eeping company with man three
Years 11ea my senior for the past two and
half years. He says he loves me ana
has promised to marry me, but lateIy
Lvbe1 MAKING an appointment he never
t1ee1e If and sfavs away for weeks at
a Tim time. without letting me know what
reason he has for doing so. Do you
think his intentions are very good II
he treats me that way? 1 love MN
a1d would like to know how to act in
the matter. M. =, l.
Plainly. his love has grown cold ana
any attempt on your part to revive II
will only hurt you more. Be proud and
refuse to stand for such treatment
Don't write; simply ignore his exist
ence.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24

AlamogOrdo. where he win institute
the new lodge Of X OF p tomorrow
assisted BY the Ell PasO knights An
excursion viii be run from FL Paso
to AIamOEordo.
The city council met last night with
seven aldermen answering to the roll
call. Mayor Magoffin arrived from his
trip up the White Oaks, and came
direct from the depot to the city
hall. to preside. The report of the
city clerk showing the issuanCes OF
a building permits Tor buildings
vauIed at S30,715 during the month OF
February was received and filed Chief
of police LOckhart stated that arc
lights were imperatively demanded at
the G. H railroad crossings at Camp
bell and Kansas streets, as the place
was very dangerous at night while
switching was going on The clerk
read a communication from G. Z
Bailey Alderman Clifford asked per-
mission to have the money received
from the supplemental city hall bonds
and sewer bonds now in FL Paso from
the east, placed in the proper fund
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24

does neither the regiment nor the city
good. How such a story started IS
more than I can tell, but do know
that the officers of the 10th infantry
have been done a. rank injustice by
the publishing of such story and
they will not forget it soon"
X
Big Springs. is the original good
roads town Of that section of the
state" said W. H. Mccullough, record
er Of the Scottish Rite and Shrine, who
has just returned from a trip to the Big
Springs lodge. THE county of which Big
Springs is the county seat has spent
$4,000 in building good roads and 1
drove over some roads as fine as any
in FL PasO county. The base is ma
cadam, with a limestone binder to hold
it together. The road from Big Springs
is now being logged and the cOnstruc-
ton work has been completed past
Midland. 7 wish that FL PasO auto
owners could drive over those roads.
for they were a surprise to me and I
never knew that such good roads eX-
listed in that part of the state. Ell
PasO should encourage the Big Springs
good roads enthusiasts, for that will
mean the opening up of a rich trade
territory for US. if the road can be
completed into FL PasO-"
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24
Harbingers

~ until the stables Iul q 1865
their cultas and heT a.. and agsrv
rocking LOST us
susPender The hens are &
day, with opu ands
money. has ten thousand o
everywhere, all DOORS
imagine aIe
blamed sos
initiating Brer Caruso Od winners Gay
at IS rtO the world ana
the kicks its heels and
5Sls So. - o 1 y .., WALT MASON.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24

enemy n gallant captain rOared,
pastlles o every and officer aboard
megaphones! Deck officers stand by
To drinking the speakers threats
pounds steam, we'll overhaul their fleet
we've got their ahOt wen talk m off their feet
OH war it is dreadful thing! dark deu hour
heroic quail; the bavest might cover
sailor there with calm and steadast
Orators" deadly phrase
the flagship checked her course,
A verbal hail the rail with terrifying force
With bitter biting adjective, with smashing argument,
and and atmosphere rent
Alterations aid wash quotation,
To up and discourse grafton
And a the enemy had yielded to his fate,
batteries stand against this broadside Of debate
rusting rifles rest in lonely solitude,
battehps breakfast food
story of that glorious day shall be forgot
fight instead of
And daily a Annapolis the scientists shall teach
Our mdd the destructive of deadly parts Of speech!
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24
Advice To the LOveIOrn
BURN THEM.
D Beatrice FaiTIa1.

Dear Miss Fairfax:
1 have been married one year az, az
love my husband dearly. Now ne i.sp'
company with a girl before knew MN III
When we started to keep company llo
asked me to burn any letters or Ply
lures / had from other men, and ulu
so. I find love letters md pictures
which he received from lis girl. I,tsL
hurt because 1 imagine he still IoECs
the other girl and keeps these JllsEs2
in remembrance of her. What shS1i
do with them2 ".
Men are not given to any sentlmeliita ~
cherishing of rem embrances, and ne II5lS
strov them. and say nothing to nm
about il.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24
GLOBE SIGHTS.
lAtchisOn GlObe.)
isranre do rnnef Of

The assistants do most Of the work,
accept it from the assistants.
1t is our observation that the man
who wears shoulder braces needs
them.
A man breads the time he shall have
to wear glasses to help his eyes and
dignity.
When q tramp joins the army he is
distinguished as the guy who does the
most kicking about accommodations.
If your Hon. ancestors handed down
a good constitution, even until your
generation, go ahead and be proud of
them
Skirts are so narrow that the daugh-
ter isn't able to get home from school
soon enough to help mother much.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24
100 Years Ago Today

y GORGE F. SIMMONS. a noted abo-
litionist, was born 100 ears ago
today in Boston He was dis
tiuguished for his brilliant scholarship,
having studied abroad after mis- gradua-
ton from Harvard in 1882 He was or
dained as a Unitarian minister IN 1888
and preached in Mobile. Ala. until
forced to leave the city in 1870 because
of the expression of his anti-slavery
sentiments from the pulpit He then
spent several years in Germany. On his
return to the United States he became
pastor of a church in Springfield Mass,
but was obliged to resign in 1851 Tor
denouncing an assault made upon an
anti-slavery agitator by a mob Of Spring
field men. At the time of his death in
1855 he was pastor of a church in Al
bany, n. Y.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24
rHINK On THE FUTURE.

Dear Miss Fairfax: - AGA
.,,d bave been Keeping company with
"a. v young girl one year my junior 61I
get weary of her company ever n.y.
and then. After a short period want
to see. her again. III IA -,
endure her presence when bound TO- TO-
gether by the ties Of married HE: For
her. sake, as wen as your own, diseon-
tinue your attentions. You don rove
no
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24
JOURNAL ENTRIEs.


Two may be able to live as cheaply
as one lives eEtravagantly.
Too many people measure their hap
pIness by the size of their bankrOlls.
What has become Of the old-fashioned
man who waXed the ends Of his mus
Iache2
1t takes second fiddlers to produce
harmony. And that's why it's so diff
ucult to develop the political variety.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24
The Daily Novelette,
In this awful age
Of rush and not
IF you can't afford
To buy green hair,
lust get to work
And die ut.
TIE sTAMPEDE.

MYTH Wild, terrifying shrieks the
w children ran
Catching up their caps and
coats if they could, leaving them If they
couldn't, they ran as though fear had
lent wings to their feet
Little Manitoba Spraddles. shouting at
the top Of his little lungs, in his excite
ment put one foot up before the other
was down, and fell on his little nose in
the rushing thrOng.
But no one stopped. Stampeding over
his PROSTATE body, yelling, gesticulating,
they pursued their mad way.
Ten year old Seintilla Brickitts cot
her foot caught between the trolley
tracks, and if the conductor of the on
rushing car had failed to see her, he
would not have seen her.
Meanwhile they rushed on, madly,
deafeninglv.
People tried to stop them to ask what
was the matter, but there was no stop
pine them.
There must have been hundreds Of the
poor racing little things.
and why, why? In heavens name
why?
Could they have seen a ghost? Per
haps thew could have, for they were
bright children. but they hadn't.
Then from whom or what were they
fleeing? Fire Kidnapers? NO-to each.
School had let out.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24
FOOLIsH GIRL.

Dear Miss Fairfax: o,,,.
I am IL and in love with youn6
man two years my senior. lie nl MACS ot
aDpointment with me which could NJ NJ
keen. and ever since he does not spe -l,e
to me He is employed in the saIi10
pIcae in which I am, and love MN MN
you hold your love too cheaply. TO
bestow it on usan as surly as lL IIS
one. Don't speak TO him, and thlhA HN
more about it.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24
BABY IN CARRIAGE IS
sTRANGL.En RK CAP STRING

~ . ID d = VI . I TN q
Cleveland, Ohio, March 24-WiIham
Harry YOemans, infant son Of Henry
Yeomans, a wealthy mine owner, was
left alone in his cab on the porch of
his home Monday. When the nurse
returned. she found that a string on
his bOnnot had caught on a hook
on the side of the buggy, and in turn
ing over the baby has strangled him
self to death.
A train on which the father was
travelling to his Colorado properties,
was stopped near Chicago by means Of
a long distance telephone message.
Y eomans viii return to Cleveland at
once - --.-
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24
The Tiger
BY GEORGE FITCH,
Author OF ~At Good Old siwash.7

York city with no success at all. He is
only a nuisance and cumbers the earth
like a wealthy tax dodger.
Some men love to hunt the tiger by
stalking him to his lair and then shoot
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24
g Is NOT ZOE YOU.

Dear Miss Fairfax:
I am IS years of age and am keeping
company with a young man two years
my senior. He is very nice young man.
but at times I dislike MIN very much
and other times 1 love him exceeding
~. h /. j.
II he were the man to make you
hannY Won would love him all the time
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24

Here's a very good definition OF a senri-
mentalist." Let's hear it." "A sentimental
list is d person who wceps ovey o fallen coll
umn but is too lazy to help set IL Up again
Birmingham Age-Herald
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24

"A tiger can eat whole nan At meal
and it is always meal time with him."
inc him in mid air as he leaps upon
his enemy. Other men like to aerOplane
UPSIDE down and to 90 through Niagara
rapids in a barrel. This world, IN fact,
is full of strange amUsements.-COpy-
righted BY George Matthew Adams.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24
ssOoO REAL. ESTATE SALE.

W. W. Wells sold to H. H. Hyland
the five room house at 1912 MagoIfin
avenue. The consideration was $1,000.
The White-PadeR Realty company
made the sale.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24

'sHow did that ne'er-dO-wen manage to
live ," In hope that II ne inspired enough
faith he might live on charity. Baltimore
American
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24

Swat the baby good early April
The flies kill IN April the less they will kill August
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-24
SEA FIGHT---BY AND BY

Annapolis
be carefully schOoled in debating.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1914-03-15

ever bought a cold bottle and a hot
bird-only IN our case 1t was sand
wiches and beer
About this time one OF LeRoy's
mamas dearest friends told her that
her little pet was straying from the
straight and narrow path and was
eating grass In one Of Satan's pas
lures She threw a NJ, OF course, and
Leroy didn't show up that night.
The next morning. AZ / was passing
Old Smiths banks. one OF the clerks
came out and told me that Mr.. Smith
would Ike 10 zee me inside /
thought about refusing for q minute.
but hesitated and then went IN.
Believe me, whenever any one IN
du'ges IN hesitation they always get
Il package handed to them. / wasn't
in the habit Of being received BY bank
presidents in their private offices. so
folt about like a blind man IN a faro
game. Didn't know what was to be
handed me.
"Old man Hmlth was standing in
the middle Of the room. with his
hands in his pants pockets showing
a fun moon OF white vest with a gold
log g-chain running across Il. lie
looked me over carefully. from my
marcelled wave to my French heels.
and then cut loose.
Young lady he said. I under
stand that during the past two or
three days you have been trying TO
steal my sons affections from a fond
father and a loving mother. In fact.
you have him worked up 20 such 4
pitch that he intends 20 run away
with your accursed show IN order 10
be near you. ! presume that your
object in trying TO mislead my boy
IL to get a chance at my pocketbook.
but let me tell you before l go any
farther, that you will never get one
cent
Il had stood for about much talk
a. possible without laughing. 50 in
terrupted: 'Aw. forget It. colonel
You're shooting more steam than
your boller-capacity calls for. I'm
no child -stealer When ! start 70
robblng cradles. III come around and
take a whirl az Leroy. Now. about
that dirty money Of yours, colonel. I
couldn't take any OF your hard
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1914-03-15

TO life, Ia be warbing TO the golden
lids across the pond, instead Of sing
ing these tear-starters in pardners
with a bum piano and blue-and-
green slides. But that pipe-dream
didn't last l woke up-aud when
/ did / was OH the road singing to
the slides at twelve per Kind Of
rough awakening, maybe, but l had
enough sand in my craw not 10 go
back whipped. ! learned a good les
son, too. Found out that when II
came to being a star, had about
as much chance as q hand-me-down
has with a tailor-made.
"Old man Daily-he's the gray
haired old boy that takes tickets at
the Palacc-put me wise to this kind
of work, Just when l was waking
up from that star trance, and I'm
sewing the old mans buttons on for
him yet, tust 10 show him that he
planted his bean in the right hill.
NOAAul bldlt AllQ lA1u bfllNN tAAbh6h II
TO be wise to that fact but when
It comes 10 singing sentimental
songs ] don't take off my hat TO any
birdie that comes singing around my
tree. But what l wanted to tell you
about was a little missionary work
! pulled off.
we were booked for O little burg
In Massachusetts,, and VIC landed there
early one Sunday morning. II was
one Of those dark. dismal, rainy days
that make you feel about like
q whipped dog looks-and there amt
nothing on earth that's got as sor-
rowful q look az q disappointed dog.
The hotel we were stopping at wasn't
any Waldorf, and looked about ss
cheerful as the pen does TO 4 fellow
that has been sent up for a second
term. BY the time we got settled
down I had the blues so bad ! was
ready to turn In and cry sll day.
That's one difference between .
man and a woman. II I'd beon q
man, ! wouldn't have been satisfied
until ia lifted the Id and got jagged,
but. being a woman. Believed in
Hquidating In a different way. I've
always heard that It Ia darkest Just
before dawn; but. say, I've waited .
long time for daylight on several 90
oasions. The old rule proved true
this time. though. for the sim esms
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1914-03-15


Mag had been pumping h'r i1ehd
about the smith family 7nd mao
line on Claude LeI'oys pa that would
have made IlnNetiou or Dun
Agenoy sit up and observe. He had
ran ia a cold deck on the common
people and got to be mayor Of tho
burg and nobody had had nerve
enough TO call mis- hahd since. The
mayors Job didn't pay much, but old
man smith was O good politician.
and managed TO make both ends
meet with considerable left over out
OF the job
We'll We went out that afternoon.
and, say, it's certainly grand 10 lean
back on the leather and just noat
along We were billed 10 stay IN
icRoy's town a week. and We sure
made him separate himself from
gone Of his fathers coin Now. don't
think for one brief second that I'm
In the habit Of taking up with little
shrimps Ike Leroy. because I'm not
,r,i, fro-, that Kind ~ n tree He
,.... ,.a 49,, g. >. ..i,y., ,,,
,boupht n didn't do Il and lay
him down easv some one would come
elory and wben sbo droprod him the
fall would be 20 great that he'd get
bruised. And. believe me. when fruit
Ike Leroy gets bruised It's never
any good any more.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1914-03-15

earned tin because you haven't got
any. You ought 20 travel with
Bide-show as a tattooed man. You've
got graft written all over you so
plain that a blind man could tell II
without feeling
THE old boy swells up like a dried
apple IN a rain-storn.
Young lady he beloved, I doLt
allow any one TO talk to me like that"
"T don't expect you do, as gen.
eral rule, l retorted. but it's the eX-
ceptons that prove the rules. I'm
going TO put you wise TO a thing OF
two about Leroy. and then III van
ish, but not before From the dope
I've picked up since I've been In this
burg. you're the one best bet You
crook your finger and everybody hops.
II you say boo, they al run of and
hide. You got this town right under
your hands, and you amt the man
20 lift that hand. But. listenl
You're a pretty good Marathon run
ner. but you've about gone your lin,
II. You're floating high but your
gas Is going to give out; and when
Il does. who's going to take hold and
keep this town where you've got It
now? Believe me. Leroy couldn't do
IT, He hasn't been brought up right
for that kind Of work. Do you believe
that II he pulled a string any OF your
sldermen would Jump? II you do,
you had better forget II. You've
overlooked your one best bet sni,
take Il from me, colonel. II you ever
want Leroy to al your shoes, you
had better begin waking him up and
try to transform him into a 1--we one
"Oh. told II TO the old man pretty
straight. and when I got through be
Just stood stlu. looking out o. che
window for g long time. You ere
right. be said finally; 'shake'
after that. we got as thick 7s a
beef-stsw. and before lef. ha asked
me out TO the house to dinner
"Dl1 you ever hear any MOTE Of
LeEoy." asked. a- sha didn't ofel
any further information.
"Not g scratch" she answered;
'but III bet even money he's showing
the old man things about grafdns
Il he's been able TO keep s1i Of JAIL