davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

seriously wounded
Few cases are more remarkable, however, than
that Of General Skenzynechi, who got thirty bull
let's through his cloak during the battle of Ostro-
lenka, in the Polish instruction Of 1881, or Sir
d. Lacy Evans, whose perforated by
bullet during the Carlist War in 1897. Garibaldi,
too had many narrow shaves, but none closer than
when resting one day at Volturno. While drink
ing from a pail of water a splinter from rico
chet she'll grazed his thigh and killed people
near
The number Of men who have escaped death
through having a Bible, coin, love letters or
some other articles in their pockets is legion.
During the South African War owed his
life to the fact that the Queens chocolate box,
which he carried in the breast Of his tunic,
stopped well aimed bullet. In another
man found a bullet embedded in a small book he
carried in his pocket, and third owed his escape
10 certain silver coins which detected the mis-
chievous missile.
Lord Wolseley came within an ace OF death
while serving as a captain before Sebastopol. He
was assisting 20 replace a number Of gsbions
under severe fire when "A big shot struck the
gabon he was holding, drove large stone
through his cheek and jaw to his neck, smashed
his right wrist and injured his skin But Lord
Roberts was even more fortunate. As he stood
on the tower at Lucknow, signalling for the Brit
ish army to advance thousands Of shots fired
at him and the flag was shot from his hand.
Calmly STOPPING down, he raised up regimental
color and continued TO wave that His escape
that occasion little short Of a miracle.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

noble thing 70 wind the next speaker up. He is
often entirely alone in this view, except for the
sympathetic reflex action that he has inspired in
the bosom Of the After Dinner Speaker.
The POSTMASTER tells the poor diners, who have
paid 81 plate and found the plate cold that the
next speaker is pumpkins, take it from the
next speaker, on the subject Himself"
OF course, the POSTMASTER does not put 1t this
wsy-not exactly. He sugar coats It. He always
calls the subject upon which he says the next
speaker will make his afterdnner speech, by
other title than Himself"
This is to lend artificial variety TO the pro-
ceedings by intimating that after dinner speakers
will choose subjects ranging from dis
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

down and smoke cigar and feel proud OF his
graceful tribute and flowing hair, and forget that
his responsibility to his fellow man is something
he cannot if he would be man instead OF
merely handsomely upholstered fgurehead, per-
NIT to go up in smoke.
He should remember that wound-up speaker
on the subject of himself is a highly dangerous
person to be at large. and that tosstmasters
chief claim for permission to live lies in his abil'
ity to control the After-Dinner Speaker, once ne
has set him in motion.
With winged words. with aeroplanes and
Paadino, the formerly we'll known furniture
mover much depends the control
The control should be exerted-but howl
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08
DADDY LONG-LEGS."

Well, finally we have seen
a show for THE GAZETTE
and a darned good one it was
too, and Miss Ruth Chatter
ton who was an orphan girl in
it is even o. K.-'er than the
show and some pretty girl,
you bet, even if her last nam
does sound like u chill or
something. Only will we have
to wait as long TO see another
show as we did this one, that
is the fly in the maple syrup.
The piece which we saw is
Daddy Long-Legs" which is
at the Gaiety Theatre and
which is not a play about
spiders as you might think
but Daddy Long-Legs is a
man who sends the orphan
girl to college and everything
and does not tell her what his
name is, because that would
spoil the play too early.
We know Editor Adams
does not like 20 have his
critics say what a piece is
about, but anybody with u
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

covcry in psychology to fresh proof in support
Of the theory, now becoming almost a conviction
in the minds of many of our citizens, that Charles
+. Murphy does things which George Washington
never did, things having changed so since Wash
ington was Boss.
No matter what topic the postmaster announces
for the next afer-dinner speech, he does not fool
the diners in this town. They are only amateurs
compared to that foreign headwaiter, but many OF
them have wonderful records for quiet, patient SUI
ferng under this type Of attack. They know that
when the eloquence is turned on each After-Dln-
ner Speaker will talk about himself
It. really should not be enough that the toast
master should wind up a speaker and then sit
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08
CHARMED LIVES AMID RAIN OF BULLETS

DNHERE is d story told by "Tit-Bits" of an old
veteran Of the First Napoleon who lived
until 1865 in the French village of Savary
and who owned a wooden leg, wooden arm,
glass eye. silver palate, complete set of false
teeth and silver plate the top of his head
and yet died peacefully in his bed Compared
with such men, the proverbial nine-lived cat is
Nowhere But as one reads the stories of great
wars Of the past the manner in which famous
generals have played touch-andgo with death is
little short Of miraculous.
The wonderful escapes Of Napoleon and Wei
ington were proverbial. Though bullets grazed
them and riddled their clothes and both had horses
shot under them yet both passed through life
Of battle and danger with two three slight
wounds apiece. But their grim old companion-in'
arms General Butcher did not fare so we'll
Wounded several times while serving under Fred
erick the Great he retired from the army when
that irascible monarch swore at him.
In response however, TO the patriotic call, he
took W arms against Napoleon and was seriously
wounded at Lutzen. At Ligny, too, he was thrown
down and ridden over by the French and Prussian
cavalry, but by drinking quantities Of his favorite
gin and water the old wardog able to lead his
troops on the following day and 10 materially as
sist in the winning Of the battle Of Waterloo.
Marshal Ney, the bravest Of the brave, was CON
tnuously fighting for twenty-eight years, yet he
escaued with only few slight wounds to meet a
traitors doom at the hands Of the Bourbon King.
He headed countless charges, had dozens Of horses
shot under him. eagerly courted death when lead
ing TIE Old Guard At Waterloo. and yet was never
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08
THE ONLY GIRL"

Joe Weber was down 20 the
39th St. Theatre last Mon.
night to see himself present
The Only Girl, same being
the name of a thow which he
was putting on down there.
Joe enjoyed the eve. fine, &C
cording 20 the smile on his
countenance, & so did every
body else after the first act,
excepting one song where
they rhymed quiet and t-y it
and riot, which almost
spoiled ye Critics eve com
ing right on top Of a good
dinner like it did. 1t sounded
like it was starting out to be
a pretty song, too, but we
couldn't listen TO il after
that, quiet and try it and riot
being too much for our
aesthetic digestion.
Otherwise the show was
first straight, one thing we
particularly liking about it
being the absence of a semi
robed chorus, tho there was
six elegant young ladies that
acted like one, joining in Oh
choruses & dancing, etc. But
they were clothed e. in their
right minds, we are glad to
affirm.
Wallie Edlinger & FRITZ
Schef, the erstwhile Mrs.
Jack Fox, jr., were among
I. p, both modestly averring
that they could not of done
better themselves if they had
been asked 20. Vic Herbert's
music was great, remind. &
| in spots of Gilbert's & Sui
livan's, the well kno' n com
posers of Pinafore, formerly
reviewed in these columns.
And what is more everybody
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08
"The Tales of Hoffman,

The queerest opera we have
ever seen, not even excepting
Wagner's. is a piece entitled
"Tales of Hoffman," which
holds the current boards OF
the 'C'nt'y Opera House stage
this wk. 1t tells about
tenor poet drinking beer with
his merry comrades and they
say Why so sad Hoffman,
and he signs as if to say all
the tales could tell and they
say tell them then and he
says all right and the funny
part is instead of telling
them he goes right ahead and
acts them right on the stage
We always thought Orville
Harold was pretty free and
easy about falling in love
with people, but in this show
he is the limit with three diff
ferent ones all the same even
ing, and more than that the
first one was not anything
more than a wound up loll.
and the second one did not
seem any too nice a lady for
ii gentleman to be seen with.
and the third one was having
a relapse of whooping-c cough
or something, so our kindly
advice TO Mr.. Harold would
be Don't be so foolish Or
Vile.
We are not quite sure yet
whether the doll was real
doll or Miss Florence Mac
beth like il said on the pro-
gramme, blu, anyway whoever
it was her singing was o. X.
say we, and when she was
brought in at the end all bat
tered and dismantled, that in
itself was a wonderful piece
Of acting to say the least.
Mr.. Louis Kreidler was
very good hypnotizer and
also played the harp with
ease and grace. But we
thought Mr.. Harrold's piano
playing showed more tech
nique than Miss Ewell's. he
frequently crossing the hands
and such.
All of the music in tales
Of Hoffman," is pretty, but
specially a selection called
Barcarolle which we recog-
lied. having heard it before
somewhere.
We would like 70 mention
many other things In this
queer opera, but. as the ordi-
nary reporter would say,
space forbids. Next wk
aida" by Verdi. SIG.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

many troubles, but most Of them never hap
pened."
Oratorcal onslaughts are troubles, and 26,OOO
have happened when he was there.
After the oysters and squads, this waiter has
known just what kind Of trouble he must endure
each night for all these years. All Of us have
troubles but it is something not to know what
is going to hit next.
We may be scalded to death in tanning vat,
shot any time in Broadway when enacting the
part Of an innocent bystander, an apartment
house may fall while in the course OF
erection unless the walls are made thicker by law,
or it may rain day when we are in the
subway and then, of course, we will drown
IT MAKES Us REALIZE HOW HAPPY OUR
LOT Is.
We may, in fact, extort but little enjoyment
from this life from day to day We may think
the Job we've got the dreariest job on earth, and
with reason in many cases. But we must ac-
knowledge that few, if any, of us have been so
situated that for twenty-six years we have had
nothing ahead of US after sunset but another
period of acute suffering caused by toastmakers
winding up of an additional collection Of false
alarms called After Dinner Speakers.
This English headwaiter might be expected to
be too aggressive in his bitterness toward the
men who have made his life one long agony after
nightfall for us TO hope that he would express
an opinion of value to the world as to what
should be done TO draw some of the poison from
the situation.
Nevertheless he has offered opinion.
Constant bombardment by the enemy, in
trenched behind the Paul Roget, may have made
him more tmid than he used to be. The time,
no doubt, has long since departed when he felt
equal to proposing that vigorous measures be
adopted for boiling men containing After-Dinner
Speeches and serving them canned to the Fiji
Islanders.
At any rate, he Is truly conservative now.
His sole suggestion Isl
~ think there ought to be time limit for most
after-dinner speeches"
He does not even assert that he is sure on this
point, but whatever else the remark may lack
at least 1t is certain to receive unanimous
dorsement.
The POSTMASTER sits down with a look on his
face as much as to say he has done a fine and
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

in the cast sung we'll, includ-
ing the leading lady, Vida
Bennett, which is something
quite unique in Gotham mu-
steal shows. ARTIE.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

Kushe, son Of the
genial Julius of the Ideal
Butcher Shop has acc. q po-
sition in Gotham, but we
failed to learn what at.
ESMERALDA.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08
THE HARDENED DINERS HAVE SUFFERED
IN SILENCE

Not a whimper has been heard from people
or this account. For years and years they have
listened to big guns like Chauncey Depew, and
10 small cabre repeaters without limit in num-
Der or deadly effect
The truth, which only few courageous souls
acted on in the past, is beginning to dawn upon
the minds of the whole hundred hungry millions
namely, that it is far, far better to be hungry
at bedtime than harangued.
There is a headwaiter in London whoh as lis
tened to $4,000 after-dinner speeches in twenty
six years.
"A word is like bullet-it cannot be recalled"
And yet this human sieve, all shot to pieces
in the performance Of his duty, is very modest
man. And not at all dangerous as would
think he might have become long since
private in the ranks e is-a zero without
poet TO sing Of is hexpoits. Outside Of the
Elite Headwaiters Club in his own city, he is
unknown. There is way, far as he has
been able 70 discover, for him to infict revenge.
Perhaps no one in the world has more
energy wasted than this headwaiter. How ef
fcient has been his own conservation Of nervous
force is shown in the remarkable circumstance
that life is still palatabe 70 him.
This is all the strange when il is re-
membered that il is absolutely impossible for
him to say with most old men: 81 have had
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08
TRANKuNHADAafS. BIa~
| NEW ROCHELLE NUBBINS

The oratorical levee broke
!. Sat. eve. & submerged near
ly the whole town. Dist. atty
Wh'tm'n, our next gov. spoke
also B. Cochran & Gus Thos.
The food reached higher pit.
in Mechanic st. than the old
est inhabitant could remem-
Der to Of seen.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

Quite a no. Of piazza fur
niture & door-mts. changed
hands Sat. eve. it being hal
loween, boys will be boys say
we.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

The n. r. Pioneer, the local
Thanhauser organ, is 70 be
made a daily soon, we hear
rumored. Seems If a lot of
things we need worse in this
town than more dailies.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

Duet Dobbs, who is pres. Of
our Sch. bd. when he isn't
batting, has gone to Jamaica.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08
t++4+ II y + t+A*+++t
LOCAL NEWS !


Herb Croly's new maya
zine, The New Republic
launches its initial bow this
week and in wishing it Il
the success it deserves THE
GAZETTE thinks it is doing
something handsome.
Ralph Pulitzer was down
town Election night, at
least his automobile was
standing in front OF his Of
flee that eve. we seeing
same on our way to the
more plebeian subway.
Bill Edwards who used TO
be employed by the city has
not said anything 10 us yet
about do we want tickets
Tor the Yales versus the
Princetons football game
and if we need some we will
ask him because he says any
time just call on him.
Charley Whitman our
next governor is mighty
popular with the newspaper
boys and it is thought some
OF them will probably get
appointments on the staff or
something. 1t is rumored
we ed. will be appointed
something but we will not
accept any Office.
Miss Euphemia Hemans
Simpson is busy at work on
her new poem, "Novem-
ber," which she is compos-
ing in vers libre, the new
1914 one-cylinder kind.
Bill Harris has got home
from his vacation and is az
work again.
Dean Fales OF West New
ton Mass contemplates a
trip 10 Gotham in the n. {.
Billy Phelps the W. k. as
he certainly ought 10 be
Yale professor is making
lot OF interesting lectures in
New Haven this autumn on
literary themes. his choice
OF same being excessively
happy.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

Bill Day of Cleveland was
in n. Y. last week on his
way to the football game in
Boston. Bill is just as pop
ular as when he was in col
lege which Is no mild state
meut.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

We cannot think Of anything that would be ns
TO induce a speaker launched upon his tsvohs
topic to stop before 81 had no idea would h
asked to talk tonight, and am reminded ds
little story"
The mechanic. Of the proposition is more
matter for our great inventors. Il has been sse'
lgested that number of large clocks be ds-
tributed all over the room, and that these could
be set to strike the quarter hours, gently but IN
failngy.
Some such device is absolutely necessary b
common justice, it is suggested By this clever
though anonymous observer, not only to tie
diners, but to the speakers who are still waiting
their turn. The man who draws pretty pat.sns
with bread crumbs on the tablecoth as he n
hearses his own few remarks is victim to sea-
sations which IL is criminal 10 prolong.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08
THE WISE WORDS OF NOTED AM
CRAFTY MAN.

WI Ting-fang further asserts II woula "
boon 70 the bashful man If some pubic en'.
tainer during the dinners here relieved him ~ .,
the necessity OF always thinking what he 'nO'.
say when the toastmaster summoned him. 1
diner would feel the same boon. =.
MAN, the most sensible Of all animals
says, "more readily leans TO nonsense than !"
tional discourse Perhaps the flow Of WORDS -.
be as steady as the eastward flow OF the fsns'-
Kang in my own country. but the memory res ..
only a recollection Of vague, undehned-""''
Any person defining said indednable wa''
the satisfaction of WI Ting fang will be pfs'sI
ed with two copies of Profe sor Kenweh ues'..
manual entitled, "How To Make Aiter-p'"-
Speeches." upon written agreement never !"
tempt to make one.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

Irv Cobb and John Nc
Cutcheon arrived home
from the war last Saturday
and have been pretty busy
ever since telling friends
about what they saw.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08
IF 1T BREAKS OUT AGAIN. MAYBE THIS
WOULD HELP.

We TREMENDOUSLY venture TO suggest few ns'
gestons for the improvement of conditions ast
may again exist after the war
No Let each diner be served simultaneously
with the demi-tasse and cigars with phonognpn
records of all the hot air blasts that the toast
master will touch off during the evening II the
Street Cleaning Department objects TO the num-
Der Of discs il is called upon TO remove TO point
five miles east of Quarantine, the Mayor can kife
more street cleaners or something.
No. TRAP doors can be provided. to when
will be attached black invisible cords, leading 70
chairs of all diners present, and controlled BY
small levers A word too much, the lever pulled
the speaker disappears.
Who pulled the lever
Nobody guilty.
No. 3.-The hot air whales TO spout altosefha'
a small prize, say an extra drink, 70 be given 70
the spouter finishing first
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

Simeon Stronsky's new
book, "Belshazzar Court" is
the kind OF book we say
buy it and if you don't like
it send us the bill.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

Whatever you think about
suffrage, it has one tremen-
dous triumph. All the pa
pers now know how to spell
Mrs. Harriet Stanton
Blatch's first name.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

Last night was Friars
night at the Hudson Thea
tire, the play there having
been written by LeoL C..
Pollock and Rennold Wolf,
both m. OF this c.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

Bill Harris has got home
from his vacation and is az
work again.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08

Election Day passed off
here without any excite
ment.
Work on Otto Kahn's
new domicile is advancing
rapidly.
Geo. Barr McCutchcon
entertained at dinner Wed
nesday evening.
Miss Carita Spencer spent
Election Day in University
Heights and Riverdale.
Mrs. Douglas Doty was
buying fruit and vegetables
at the Fl. Lee ferry mkt.
Wed. a. IN.
The days are growing very
short,
Interfering with tennis and
other sport.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08
A FITTING TRIBUTE TO A BENEFACTC
is SUGGESTED.

The Kaiser has stepped to the front and TEN
porarily solved our problem, which was fast gro"'
ing desperate II we remember the lesson sf.er
the war it will be fitting return if We send me
Kaiser few groups of after dinner speakers ITO"
among the army of our unemployed, made mo.
larger by the Kaiser's unique efforts, IN token VI
our appreciation for the additional sleep that D.
has given u.s. though in culture we remain "s
lot.
But if we ever do fall into the old ways as'''
and find the problem of what TO do with the Ane''
Dinner Speaker growing more and more intns"'
then perhaps we will be glad to turn to the ofe''
for advice. WI Ting-fsng, late Chinese Nih''"
to the United States, is more analytic than W.
British headwater.
The Chinese he says, employ singing sirs !"
please the diners and the japanese geishas 'N~
sing or dance. In either case, il the matter "s''
put to vote in this country there is not mS''
doubt that the returns would show strong p'ps
lar feeling in favor of importing both these
noyations in preference to retaining the nav"
ual who talks about himself.
There is small ground for thinking that 'n".
would even be scratch tickets enough 20 en'As'
the result In favor of an amalgamation Of the s~
toms OF the East and West.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-11-08
By EARL N. FINDLEY

4 Kings have q way Of working out for
the best of their own accord. If more
people realized this there would be
fewer soft snaps for the professional
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1914-03-26

From what can be learned at Fire
Headouarters, Semansky, through
his lawyer, former Alderman John A.
Bolles. applied for a rehearing about
a month ago. Commissioner Adamsou
granted the application and the date
OF the rehearing was set for to-day.
In announcing his decision. on the
evidence outlined above. Commission
er Adamson said to Martin, who has
retired from the Fire Department:
GOING TO o6T HIS BACK PAY,
TOO.
Lieut.. Martin, I ind great animus
in your testimony. Your general at
tituds shows bitter feeling toward the
accused. find your charges unsus-
tained and direct the reinstatement
Of Lieut.. Semansky."
The Commissioner asked II Semansky
had signed q waiver of his rights TO
The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1914-03-26

back salary when he took an appeal
to the Appellate Division. Mr.. Bolles
replied In the Affirmative. but II was
reported at Fire Headquarters that
Commissioner Adamson will find a
way to give Semansky pay for the
time that has elasped since his dis
missal. almost twenty months.
Firemen say that Semansky has
powerful political friends whose in
iuence got him n rehearing and re-
instatement. Whatever tho cause the
action of Commissioner Adamson In
the Semansky case has set the Fire
Department to buzzing like a hive o..
bees.