The Grangeville globe. [volume] (Grangeville, Idaho) 1907-1922, 1914-02-12
THE TURKEYS DEMISE

Joiy uinner party was convened
oy Mesdames Sims and Hardy ON
wednesday evening at the home of
the latter somewhat at the EXPENSE
OF w. G. Shaefer and wife. 1t seems
that the Shaefer's owned a certain
turkey which had been allowed to
expose himself to the view of hungry
nelghbors and which resulted in the
violent death of said turkey whose
carcass found its way, in some un-
accountable manner to the table of
'he hostesses. OF course the Schaefers
were invited to assist the several
neighbors in holding a wake over the
remains
AT moment when the Joke of the
evening was about to be sprung upon
Mr. Schaefer, he side stepped and
turned the tables by reading the last
Will and testament of the deceased
which was as follows:
In the Name of All Good Men.
Being mindful of the vicissitudes
and uncertainties of life and having
within my heart of hearts a Fremont
tlon OF some impending tragedy, sub
Tie and deep laid, and in which my
all too short but sweet life shall be
shuffed out by the skillful use of an
axe held in the sHardy" hand of
some fiend incarnate.
And being filled with the desire to
adjust my earthly affairs before TAX
ing such premature flight to turkey
heaven.
do make, publish, and declare this
my last will and testament hereby re-
voking all former wills by me made.
LIST. l desire that all my Just
debts, except the Inheritance tax. be
paid and to that end direct that NV
BILL be turned over to Atty. A. S.
ardy for collection, without recourse.
End. l hereby give, devise, will.
0equeath and set over all property of
which l may die seized, consisting of
real, personal, and mixed as follows:
"a" To my beloved mother. Nab
ell Schaefer, my lungs, may they aid
her in breathing, without loosening a
name string after gormadizing upon
my skinny carcass.
"B" To F. H. Meader, my gaul,
without comment.
"C'' To the little folks my poor
heart and liver. May my heart give
them courage when the liver
comes to worst.
"D' The balance of my internal
workings, l give to the Attys. for the
defense. 1t wasmy first intention to
give these to F. l.. Leonard, but after
mature elaboration I have conclud-
ed that he is already abnormally sup
piled.
CO. To M. M. Moore the piece
that goes over the fence last with
the hope that his remembrance of the
glossy feathers that were once af-
fixed thereto may continuously tickle
his self sufficiency.
"F'' To Mrs. F. l.. Leonard, my
toe nails, may she scratch at the
most opportune time.
&c" To j. Frank Sims, my two
legs with the hope that he viii duly
appreciate them and that they will
be to him a better understanding.
"H" To Mrs. F. H. Meader, my
wish bone, with better luck at Pi-
nochle
81" To Mrs. j. Frank Sims and
Mrs. Asa Strong Hardy, my two
wings to be used by them jointly for
the balance of their natural lives, up
on their demise to go to any other
good neighbors. May they hover any
turkeys they may find.
~" To Mrs. M. M Moore, the
neck, may it turn to rubber.
tx" To F. L. Leonard, a first,
second and third mortgage ON my
1914 crop.
81" All the rest, residue and re-
mainder, should any there be, to Miss
Marion Sims and John Jr., hoping that
1t will not be Long until they may
find something therein that will be a
solace and a benefit for that tired
feeling.
Witness my hand and seal this
Sth day of February, 1914.
THOS. T. r. KAY.
Signed and sealed by the said Thos.
T. r. Kay at his request and in our
presence.
In witness we have hereunto set
our hands on the day and year above
written in the presence of the tes-