Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-31
NO MORE CORRUPTION
ON CUSTOMS PIERS
Inspector Chalks Giant Wiltsc's
Trunk After Feeling
His Arm.
Tango Reported ION ITS Way" Be-
cause of Complicated Steps.
Exile Stakes His Thirst.

NEW YORK, March 81 There isn't
any more corruption on the customs
piers. Persons returning from t:uro,,.
with their trunks full Of views OF Lake
Tintoretto. painted on the INSIDE of sea
shells, and with Gcrman-made glass
beads for every skirted relative. cannot
win so much as n pleasant look from thu
customs inspectors. II one were to hand
an inspector a tcYl-dollar bill. as in TN"
bad old days, the poor fellow would sob
all the way to the custom house. But
What's yuhr nance asked Tho in
spcctor under the letter wv tho dav
the Giants came home. Where's yuhr
trunk
'Wiltsc,' replied tho Young man thus.
ADDRESSED. George Wiltsc.
y look Of infantile happiness over
spread the inspectors face. lie touched
Mr.. Wiltse's throwing arm with the tips
of his fingers rcvcrcntly
Gee" said he. Then and how's tie
ole soupbone this spring. George
Mr.. Wiltse said that it vas all tina;
could be desired. So the inspector chalk
ed Wiltse's trunks and the big pitchcr
left the pier. Then the inspector turned
to the other VS..
Now" said he, open them trunks
and hurry
Tango Opponents Should Hurry.
Ministers and others who hold that
those who dance the tango will unaues-
tionably do a turn with a worm through
out eternity are requested to hurry up
with their condemnation. Because the
tango is ION its way" In n few more
weeks there won't he. any more tango
here than there is in the Argentine-and
take it from those who have been there,
the amount of tango to he found in the
Argentine is less than 4 vulgar frac-
ton.
MY clients" said one of the most
loosely jointed professors of dancing
that ever made his heels serve his head.
ARE not trying to learn the tango any
more.
They haven't the bean for these intel
lectual strains. They're going back to the
less complex contiguity afforded by the
bunny hug and the turkey trot and the
various walks.
Cannot Cope With Curves.
There are sixty-t three different steps in
the typical tango, it appears. Noah
Webster himself couldn't cope with that
number of curves. And every dancing
teacher has manufactured a tango to suit
the neighborhood needs.
Folks who have learned the tango on
9TH avenue can't dance Il on Avenue y
without police guard. Not one person
in ten can dance it without moving tn"
lips. anyhow. It's too mathematical and
abstruse.
Just try to remember this prediction:
I believe the craze for dancing is begin
ming to turn a bit yellow at the edges.
Perhaps it has been ovcrdone. Another
year may see the end of it.
Perishing Slowly for Years.
This story comes all the way from the
City of Mexico. where Clyde Sheehan Is
now spending his days lodging bullets
1t appears that Mr.. Sheehan's partner
has long been an exile from the delights
of Broadway. Three weeks ago he got
back to the big town. He wrote his en-
perience to Sheehan.
II had got so dog-gened tired of drink
ing those liquid crimes the Mexicans Arm
ly believe to be American drinks, said
he, that lit into one of the large, luini-
nous barrooms of this town.
Mister l said to the Sentlemanly
attendant. I've been perishing slowly for
the last six or seven years on the Latin
theory of a cocktail. You make me the
latest that New York knows
Palate Swelled UP Like Sponge.
so he did it, My palate swelled up
like a sponge under its benefcent In
fluence and 1 told him to make me an
other. And I had another Then /
thanked him once more for the exquisite
pleasure that had been conferred on ME.
l told him that 1 would ever regard him
as a dear friend. Saying which 1 laid a
two-dollar bill down on the bar.
think said l. that | had best
going now
THANK you, sir, said he Then he
put the two-dollar bill in his pocket ana
handed me a sixty-cent check Tor the
three drinks | paid the cashier. L am
on my way back 10 the City of Mexico.
Built Along Piane-Moving Lines.
He'll have to call himself Jenkins if he
completes in the Olympic games. because
no one named Ganakopulos could lie ac-
cepted as Il representative of the United
States
Nick-his last name at this point goes
overboard-s II large Greek, built along
lines His hair is yer.
black, his teeth very white, his shoulders
very broad. He might he the anchor in d
tug of war or a shot-puttcr from Puts
vile. But no one would guess him
long distance runner. When he went on
with the list Regiment team To compete
in the first military hike ever held here.
persons who did not know him laughed al
their scurrilous sleeves.
Hoped to Lie Down and Die.
mo man." said they, whose legs looh
like the underbody of the elevated rail
road can run long enough to dampen 4
shirt
Seven miles later three Of Nicks team
mates were wabbling from side 10 side
like young calves in Il muddy barnyard.
They whispered that as soon as they
came to Il soft spot they hoped to lie
down and die SO Nick just inflated that
enormous chest and smiled that shlmher-
ing smile and relieved them Of their guns
and coffee pots and otner Matchmaking
regalia He LED .JUu soldiers AT the end o.
the eight-and- one-halt -rniIe gailop, and
his seven teammates capered al ms SIDE
as he broke the tape, iuuhins Ike mill
tary Christmas tree.
So now they are talking of entering
Nick in the olympic games. his own idea
is thai he woulu like 10 race Tor about
r.-N-lt,