Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1914-01-30

thin. Sometimes Il said: NO hips
and the women promptly didn't have
any hips; then it would say. Let
there be hips and hips there were,
lads, till you couldn't rest. Now, you
young fellows, who live in this age
when women, having finally won their
hard-fought battle to get finger in
the worlds work, have got plenty of
other things to worry about besides
looking pretty and therefore don't
care so much for style, you fellows
can tell just about what women will
look like one year after another. Ii
was different in the old days; you
had to be ready for anything then.
Il remember one sad, sad case that
came about through this, and it hap
pened in this same age, about 1912,
that this ancient lady in hobble
skirt belonged to. There was a brave
young explorer who'd gone down to
take the temperature of the south
pole. He had a beautiful young wife
that he had to leave behind in little
old-fashioned hotel named the Knick-
erbocker that used to stand at the cor
ner of Forty-second and Broadway,
because this was before they had cleo
trio heat and all modern inconveni-
ences, including Turkish baths, at the
pole. I'll be waiting for you says
she. Hurry back so long, says
he; and away he went and was gone
for five long years.
you see, when he went away wom-
en- we're plump, and had hips and
shoulders, and wore long skirts, with
room enough in them to walk. When
he came back it was the year of these
hobble skirts and the women were
altogether different The young ex-
plorer goes into his apartments in
the little hotel and something that
looks like this picture leaped up to
welcome him, and he steps back and
hollers: Gimme my gun. There's
strange animal like a seal in the
room And it was only his wife, The
sad part of it was that he had to pay
the dressmaker next day"
But why did the women let Style
boss them so?" asked an apprentice.
would it punish them if they
wouldn't get thin or plump as it or
dered them?"
Would it! Indeed it would, my
lad; it would let them see other wom-
en- who were in style!"
Put how did they ever happen to
hit onto anything like this hobble
skirt, captain?"
We'll, you see, twas in the days
when the ladies were fighting fo-
equal rights with man. The men
wouldn't let them wear the trousers
as yet, so the dear women did the
next best thing. They couldn't get
the whole trousers, but they could
get one leg. They took and made it
into a skirt as you see in the pic
ture"
The young airmen gazed at the
strange picture in amazement. why
in the world did they think such
things made them pretty, captain?"
asked one Fancy one of our women
today wearing anything that would
interfere with their stride!"
"The women of today are Free"
said Captain MacIanus. They have
thrown off the thraE Of instinct. And
yet" he unused smilingly, land yet,
those OLD days were good days, after
all. Douse my signal rays! | don't
know but what they were as good as
the present era, SO far as the women
are concerned. Yes, lads, in those
days ] was once tempted to enter that
old-fashioned and discarded state Of
matrimcny."
What was the matter, captain?"
asked one of the boys. Wouldn't
the girl have you?"
Run along" growled the old man.
Get aboard the Express. You're like
ali the boys nowadays; you're too
keen on ancient history"
Copyright, by W G. tshapman.l
1EMJFS THEORY 0F i rMRR0Sf