davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-02-22
81 herd him groan to himsilf: WAN,
two, three, Dip"

why don'i yc do it this way It's twice as foolish
ookin. len dollars, place
Yes. sir; tn inroads iv this frenzy OH people
" me time iv life is dreadful | hcerd iv lady
whose hair has been redeemed be the glow iv
sivinty winters who used to think that tn on'y
exercise sooted to her age was to set in chair
with lace cap on her head an her hands folded
over her black alpaca dhresS Now, her grand
childher niver sec her cxcpt whin they're took
to a roof garden. There's Tim Gallagher He's
that mNch older thin am that whn T was boy
J used TO call him Mister Didn't ] see him
tn other night get up firm tn counter v dairy
lunch an go limpin' around with tn cashier lady
that wanst wint to school with him? | did so, an
1t made me blush to look at him. fr dacnter
man whin i'll good health l niver knew He was
tur-rbc spectacle! but whin he come back he
was as PLACED with himsilf as though he'd just
won tn championship at tn Gaelic games What
dye think ~ it? says he. Well says l, will,
proper threatment an rest f'r tn injured limb
ye may recover, but if I was We I'd consult a
good Veterinary surgeon at wanst Ye're medi-
cal CURIOSITY says |. Ye have tn first case iy
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-02-22

born cases, afther tn Cabaret Commissions has
SET in, he advises ayethcr tn removal iv what is
left Nv tn brain or dhrownin, accordin' to til
symptoms.
There's no doubt about it that its worst raw
ages are seen amongst tn machoor an tn
heavy. although ii attacks both lively youth an
hobblcd age. man lady that wud be fired
out be tn hure connity ii they thripped their
own OF their pardners light fantastic toe in a
waltz, will dare to do the tango an think they're
fine. That's where what Dock OLearv calls tn
cerebral symptoms comes in. TIL dancer don't
have TO larn to dance Til disease makes him
do it an anything he gets firm tn professor is
so much exthry It's like teachin' a fellow that
has fits a new way iy falin'. TIL professor says
to tn invalid we've got 10 do that shuttle, SO
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-02-22

irindS an Bill was larnin' Mike tn BUTTERFLY
Methodist church III lndyannv is thrvn to
atthract people II III tn Road to Room be advcr-
tlSn that til choir instead iv sngin til, Long
Meter DoNoogy will do III Gabby Glide dowl,
tn center aisle. In our own church last S,,ndall
whin an altar boy made gcnulexion heerd
lady behind me say: How graceful he does tn
dip
No wan but III hopelessy crippled liver ates
any more. Schwartzmeister has abolished his
Tree lunch an put a sign in tn window: Sub
stantial Wurruknmens Free Dancin' Lesson
Given Away with Ivry Schooner iv Beer Tn
TN mornn whin tn restaurants an other dance
halls lets out, millyons " hollow -eved students
ruShes TO their well-arned repose at bench or
desk Win tn clock sthrikes noon they dash
out ir a hurried Turkey Throt at neighborin'
RESTRAINT an return to slulnbcr over tn type
writer tn bill iv ladn ontil it is time FIR thin
TO take up tn labors v tn night. Til boss don't
It's twinty to wan that he's up the sthreet
somcwhercs standin in line an waitn FIR his
turn with tn professor iv dancin The Standard
lie company is thinkin' iv addn dancin' school
10 its plant but is afraid iv tn cxpinse iv
teacher who was chorus man wear ago but
is now buildin yacht to defnd tn Americas
Cup. \ frind " mine in tn hardware thrade
tells me tn dance has revoutionzed business
methods ii man expects to sell bill iv goods
he's got 10 dance f,r TN customer an all well
regulated business houses have customers ball
room. merchant comes up firm !Arkansaw,
larns til Wishbone Wl'ithe, or some other beau
tiul figure, an buys five tons ~ tenpcnny nails.
lie goes home an retails tn dance with ivry
pound ~ tn tacks an grows rich.
" I've heerd " tn Sleepin' Sickness that's
caused be the bite OF fly, but what pizenous
grasshopper has stung til American people on
til heel SO that they're all ayether rcelin' around
tn flure or watchin' other people do tn same?
F'r Dock O'l-eary says its not sport but an
epidemic He says ii We got enough people to
stutter all til wurruld wud be stutcrin' an they'd
be professors chargin' SIS lesson f'r larnin' We
tn latest fashnabe limp in til language He
says tn disease don't ony attack tn ankle but
tn brain as well It's narvous disease iv tn
legs says he. accompanied be decisions iv gran
loor SO that man with wan fut in tn grave
IS not ashamed 10 use tn other in tn Double
DIP, an an oil analook with tn hook action iv
fish thinks he's dancn in way that wud make
Crcassyan girl i'll tn harecm iv tn Sultan in
turkey look as though she had spraned her
ankle IN Dock says tn symptoms ar-re aisy
to detect especially i'll tn middle aged, or old
VIM a man with portable hair an teeth who
nivcr danced befure shows loss iv appytitc
great dhrowsincss durin' tn day an restessness
at night, aversion to wurruk iv ivry kind, an
nndlncy TO leap firm. his chair at tn sound iv
music he ought to be watched carefully be TIL
family In tn early stages tn disease may be
controlled be shown TIL victim picture iv him
silt taken while he was in tn, dilliryum, or be
ampytatm wan or both legs. But in more stub
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-02-22
big Bill Higgins an Mike Casey
hall in what looked like fraternal fight

tn spring halt liver obsarvcd i'll 4 human bcin'.
says !. Anybody can do these dances that
mas sinsc v rittun, says he. An no sinse "
proprety.' says |. Come home says l. BUT
! lost him at cafy down tn sthrect.
. | don't want ye To think I'm agin dancin'
Iiinnissy. In til days iv ME youth whn me fut
as light as tn down on tn peach an me
photygraft was carried in NANNY golden
locket, there no more intrepid performer
thin mesili at tn parties iv tn Rosconmon Men.
ust to show We how graceful | was let me tell
We that tn buildin' department rbid me to dance
in l'inucanes hall till they shored UP tn walls.
But dancin in thin DAYS was a vigorous sport
was like kickin' an nagin'ry futball an Jump
IN on til chst " an iInaginry Zoe No wan
thought " takin' holt " his pardncr. Ii he did
he'd be be to get a wipe over tn eve firm a
hand like lily, maybe wan like bokay iv
tiger lilies, be goodness. An if he escaped, tn
ladys big brother wud be waitin' outside f'r him
at tn corner " tn alley. | wud no more have
thought iv askn help iv lady in dance thin
| wud in THROWN tn hammer We Jumped lords
pardner till we were in hailin' distance an
thin jumped back, an whin tn band was ex-
lausted tn ladies wnt 10 tn other ladies in tn
side seats an TIL gintenen jincd tn other gintle-
men in tn Dutchman's downstairs Q. tn low
Gus times had, an tn hwy caused an TIL
great noise made an TIL pounds an pounds
] lost.
4" Thin tn waltz come along an tnried it, but
twas TOO Eliminate, an afther I'd left good
Bertillon description iv mesilf on NANNY slender
waist an tn rumor got goin' that was wurrukin'
on commission f'r tn. chropodist on tn corner,
T tiraJ 49, +,
gift. So whin Hogan asst me to go around to
his house f'r supper tn other night | wint pre-
pared to poor foorth a sthream iv golden ilo-
ounce that wud dazzle tn ladies an dhrown all
competition firm tn males. II was pleasant
nade-up party-Clancy an his wife, Harrigan
an his wife. Felix Schwartzmeister an frau. an
Tom Anderson, tn bridge tencler-all old frnds,
or old anyhow Says | to mesilf: This is all
right. Here is group that has got to an in
tellechool age where | can talk thin down
says I.
We'll, sir, had more thin finished tn
first coorsc an was waitin' f,r second hclpin',
an about ready to give me opnyon on the
currency bill befure anybody asst me something
hard thin a hand organ outside sthruck UP
chune an me aujence melted away. TIL first to
be attacked was Anderson. | see mad CLINT
come into his eyes an without waitn to take tn
napkin firm his neck he made feerocyous at
tacl, on Augusta Schwartzneister. TIL way he
threated that poor de6nceless Bavaryan lady
makes me blood run cold to think iv it, He
dragged her firm tn chair an out on TIL fure.
She was too frightened to make an outcry an
too healthy to faint, but she offered desprit re-
sistance She thried to wriggle Out iv his clutch,
she took holt v his waist an attimpted to throw
him, she thried to thrip him. But Anderson had
all TIL strength IN cunning v maniac an She
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-02-22

cuddent escape. lie took half Nelson on her
an spun her around. He grappled her be tn
wrist an hurled her firm him an dragged her
back. He bent her I'll, her head near touched
til fiure an he raced her up an down tn room
till she ready 10 fall MI tn time nc was
commttin this onprovokcd assault his face wore
look v deemonyac rage.
cud stand ii no longer | looked around
t'r help an all tn other inmates was goin'
through contortions iv their own On'y they
we're in what Dock O-eary calls tn arly or in
sipd stages iv tn disease Schwarzmeister was
dom goose step that he'd larned i'll tn German
army. Clancy was shown a prance that I've
often him do laddher whin he started
i'll tn buildin' thrade An Hogan was givin an
imitation " vethran iv tn civil war wakin' in
tn hall v tn Sojer's home. ! took him aside, an
says l. Hurry an get Schwartzneister away
befurc he sees what Tom Anderson is dom He
won't realize that tn poor fellow has lost his
mind, an We can't tell what he might do Yc get
Felix out on III front stoop an I'll lure Hogan
TO his room an lock tn dure till tn ambulance
comes, says /. At this minnyit tn music stopped
| heerd Augusta nlurrnur Delicious an what
dye think that hare-hearted husband did ? Why,
sir, the poor spirited thing whit up to Anderson
an, says he: What dye call that new step
It's called tn Structural Iron Wurrukers
Snugglc says Anderson. It's very graceful
says Schwartzy. | wsht he'd teach it to me-
lie says. What dye think iv that? An he was
in tn ARMY that bate Napolyon tn Third
see an article in tn pa-aper be a coledge
professor expainn' these here dances. Yc see they
need explanin. This larned man says dancin' used
to be kind iv coortship, dye mind In tn arly
colonyal days tn Primitive Young Fellow whin
he felt that he cudden't live without some par
ticklar girl girl that wasn't very par
ticklar or anyhow some girl, didn't put on his
best clothes an stick his handbook in ali outside
pocket where it wud arouse fcen iv tcndher-
ness in tn maidcns heart an walk up an down
in front iv tn house for an hour bcfurc he r,lng
tn bell, an thin dash in an fling himsilf at her
feet an tell her he was not worthy iv her, but
wud she be his-an' We can bet she wud No,
sir In thin days tn aniarous swain, as tn pro-
hssor calls him, wud put on his clogs an go an
dance befure her an If she was poplar lady
tnered be NANNY as fifteen or twiny beaus
hoppin' in front v her rockin' chair ivry night
afther supper Dancin' is an ancyent custom
that leads to marredge,' says he don't know
about that, although firm what I've seen an
heerd some Nv these dances might aisy lead to
divorce an n1arredge might be a step back
ward"
I'm glad til church is against lllinn,' said Mr..
Hennessy.
I" don't know how much good it's goin' lo
do" said Mr.. Dooley, oness we cud get s,
Vtus to come back to artll. He cured tn afflicted
Turkey throtters cinchries ago an was rewarded
be havin' tn disease named afthcr him. He'd
have long office hours if he was livin today
Copyright; lsl4 BY Finley Peter Dunnel
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-02-22

al ME- We larned amy iv tn new
dances: . asked MIR. Doocy Do We
know til Turkey Throt, tn Tango, tn
Scissors, tn Knee Holt, tn Neck-an
neck, tn Envelope Flop, or tn Curvaturc-iv-th'-
spine !c don't We needn't come around here
amy more Me socyal standing will be injured
be me KNOWN We
What ARE yc talkin about" asked Mr.
Hcnncssy.
Z" I'm talkin' about what ivrybody else is takin
about" said Mr. Dooley. Firm Kanlchatky to
Keokuk, tn whole civilized wurruld is at it. It's
almost the ony subjcck ~ secryous conversation
among tn white races If professor wants to
in'threst his class in zoology he begins his lecture
he dom tn Lame Duck fr thin TIL S'cicty iv
Ladies Fl tn Prevention ~ Ongwee Among tn
Unforchnit Childhcr il In Poor is broken lid
over ii, one faction insisln' that tn Macheek
shall be made compulsory part iv tn coorsc in
sex hygeeT.ir til public schools an tn other de-
mandin' that n little vans shall be vaccinated
again it
II S about tn ony thing We i'll In pa-apcrs
Peoples ARE dancin that few years ago wud've
as soon thought ~ lcttin their mothers or their
bankers sec thin on slippery furc as enthrn
An OPIUM Joint. But ma an tn usurcr ARE
hoppin Just the as TN offspring an til
creditors go into RESTRAINT with an AGED
frind to discuss platter " ham an cpps an
til pollytic<al situation. I've no more hin set
lied in me seat whin phonygraft in tn corner
cxplodes an me yinrablc comncratc seizes holt
" lad, at tn admin table an goes reel;n'
around III hure with dish iv soup in wan hand
an III other hand III III ladys hair
Al III thcayt,e whin Hamlet isn't first sthran-
in Ophalya 10 hi, bosom an thin slinein' her on
her head acrost tn stage, tn aujcencc is gvin an
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-02-22
sezesho
aoundt hu"

dances? asked MIR Doolcy . Do We
know tn Turkey Throt, tn Tango, tn
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-03-27
CHINESE BRIGANDS
COMMIT 0UTRAGES
RAvAcINe SECTIONS OF THE
COUNTRY, NUMBERING, ROB
5ING AND BURNING.
White Wolf and His Mob of Chinese
Outlaws Massacre Three Hundred
TownsfoIk Who Resist Their En-.
trance Into Market Town.

Pekihg, China. -Outrages Ny bri.
gahds IN central China are assuming
alarming proportions. Several bands
associated with the noted outlaw
White Wolf are ravaging sections of
the country, numbering and tobbing
The people and burning their property.
The latest exploit Of the bandits
was the massacre of 300 townsfollx
VINO were resisting their entrance in
60 an important market town close
to Slang Yang Flu, province of Hupeh.
Seven-tenths of the town was burned
and the population ruined financially
On the occasion of the recent sack.
ing of Kingtzokwan, province Of Ho-
nan, the local troops we're command
ca by general, formerly noted bri-
gand chief, who was given his army
appointment during the recent revo-
luton.
The measures OF the government TO
deal with the situation are inadequate
and there is every prospect of the
development of brigandage I'd dimen-
sions beyond It's control.
The revolutionary element Is still
strong throughout the country. Ar
rests and executions are frequent.
The entire northern army will short.
ly be employed in the suppression of
the brigandage.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-03-27
PLANS REDUCING
COST OF LIVING
PARCELS POST no CARRY PRO-
DUCTS OF FARM TO THE DOOR
OF THE CONSUMER.
Postmaster General Issues Order Per
uniting Use Of Crates and Boxes for
Farm Products to be Shipped
Through the Malls.

Washington. - Preliminary steps
were taken by the postoffice
department Monday to perfect its
plan for reducing the cost of living
by having the parcel post carry pro
ducts Of the farm directly to the door
of the consumer
Ten cities were selected to begin
the work Of establishing direct CON
nections between producer and con-
sumner, Postmaster General Burleson
having already issued an order per-
hitting the use Of crates and boxes
for butter, eggs, poultry, vegetables
and fruit shipped by parcel post.
Orders went to the postmasters at
Boston, Atlanta, St. Louis, San Fran,
cisco, Baltimore, Detroit, La Crosse,
Wis, Lynn, Mass, Rock Island, ILL.,.
and Washington directing them ito
receive the names of persons who are
willing to supply farm products in re-
tail quantities by parcel post" Print
ed lists of these names, showing kind
and quantity Of commodity available
will be distributed among town and
city patrons.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-03-27
AN ENGLISH ARMY
TO INVADE ULSTER
GOVERNMENT PREPARING FOR
MILITARY OCCUPANCY or
UNRULY PROVINCE.
Reports Of The Threatened Arrest Of
Sir Edward Carson, and Other Lead
Of unlonists, Who Made Ora
matte Exit From House.

London.-Grave events are impend
Ing in Ulster, according to the Union
list newspapers. and rumor is cur
rent that the government is prepar
ing for the military occupation of the
province. There are indications that
crisis has been reached.
A vote of censure on the British
government. which was moved in the
house of commons by Andrew Bonar
Law, leader of the opposition, was re-
1eeted on Thursday, 345 to 252. Arthur
]. Balfour, summoned by Mr.. Law,
made a hurried return from the Ri
viera and arrived in London in time
to participate In the division.
There were reports also of the
threatened arrest of Sir Edward Car.
son and other leaders of the Ulster
Unionists, but it was officially de-
cIared there was no truth in the state.
ment that warrants had been signed
tor such arrests Sir Edward Carson,
however, made a dramtic exit from
the house before the debate was con.
cluded, to catch train for Belfast.
Austin Chamberlain declared Thurs.
day night that Sir Edward had been
called away in response to sudden de.
xelopments in Ireland. Other union,
lists asserted that the Ulstermen can
no longer be restrained from an out
break and that Sir Edwards mission
10 to endeavor to hold them in check.
The Daily Telegraph's lobbyist
mi oil faId
blood win be split in Ulster before
the house Of commons sees Sir Ed
ward Carson again"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-03-27
GENERAL VILLA CLEARS THE
FEDERALS FROM HIS PATH
Advance Guards Driven Into Torreon
From Suburbs and Rebels VIII
Attack Stronghold,

Durango, Mexico.-H Having cleared
the way for direct attack on Tor
reon by his success on Friday and sat
urday in establishing q base here and
driving in the federal advance guards
from Mapimi, TlahualiIo Sacramento,
Noe, Birmingham Junction ana
smaller points in the environs of the
Huerta stronghold, General Francisco
villa, the rebel chief, left here sun
day for the south.
Before leaving for the front, Gen
eral Villa said he doubted whether
the federals would make further re,
sistance until his assault on their
main position takes place, although
there were rumors that the enemy
would make a show OF resistance at
Gomez Palacio, suburb of Torreon,
reached by street car, and noted for
its big railroad shops.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-03-27
BRITISH CABINET cowEp.
Restore Disobedient Generals to
Their Commands.

InGtF commands.
London.-The detection of the army
officers who refused to serve in Ul-
ster is now a closed incident, but it's,
consequences are likely to prove far
reaching. Premier Asquith and Col
onel Seely, secretary Of state for war.
made explanations before an excited
and turbulent house on Monday that
the affair was the result of a misun,
derstapding.
The misunderstanding, it was infer
red, although they did not directly say
so, was due to misconstruction of the
governments plans by the command
ing general, Sir Arthur Paget, where
by he informed the officials in Ire
land that they were to move on VI
ster for a repressive campaign.
General Paget and three senior Of
ficers from the Curragh camp-Gen-
eral Cough, Colonel McEwan and Col
onel Parker-were summoned to Lon
don for a conference. According to
official statements the misunderstand-
ing has been cleared away, and these
officers returned to Ireland Monday
night.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-03-27
LONG FIGHT FOR HOME RULE.
ireland Has striVen for over = Cen
fury for Home Rule Measure.

fury for Home Rule Measure.
northumberland has. striven, for
home rnle without moments cessa-
fion ever since the Irish parliament
was abolished and the legislative
union of Great Britain and Ireland
was proclaimed on January /, 1901.
In the 113 years that have passed
since that date the agitation has gone
on under various forms, pacific and
violent, led by such patriots as Dan
Tel O'Connell. William Smith o'Brien,
Charles Stewart Parnell, O'Donovan
Rosa and Michael Davitt, to mention
only a few OF the more prominent.
These were succeeded by the Red
monds and the Healys. who are in
the forefront of the movement today.
The present agitation has been
mainly brought about by the practical
certainty that Premier Asquiths Irish
home rule bill would become law
without the consent of the house of
lords. Sir Edward Carson is at the
head of the agitation against home
rule among the Unionists OF Ulster.
He and several other leading men
took the initiative In organizing an
army of Ulster volunteers to resist
the Introduction of home rule for Ire.
land In its entirety They insisted
that Ulster should be left out of its
operation.
The chief point at issue in ireland
Is the religious one. Out of total
population Of about 100000, approx.
mately 100000 are Protestants of vari.
GUS denominations. Most OF these are
found In the four Ulster counties of
Londonderry, Antrim, Armagh and
Down. The other Ave counties OF Ul-
ster are predominRntly Catholic. AS
q matter of fact, Ulster returns seven.
teen Nationalist and only sixteen
Unionists to parliament.
There Is considerable difference be
tween the people Of the eastern part
OF Ulster and those of the rest of Ire
land. Many OF the Obstetrics are de
acendanta of English settlers SEM
there by Cromwell to foster the agri
culture and industries Of Ireland after
he had snbdued the country.
Others are descendants of Scottish
Convenanters. Not all the Professionals
of Ireland are against home rule. Par
nell himself was a Protestant
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-03-27
kINe aEoReE AZ PEAogMAkER.
10 Using Every Influence 70 Aver
Rloodshed in Ulster Controversy.

10 Using Every influence 70 Avert
8loodshed In Ulster Controversy.
London.-King George assumed the
role of peacemaker on Saturday in
an effort to prevent threatened trou-
BILE in Ulster.
Just what the result of his maies-
TVS conciliatory move will be is a
matter of conjecture, but 1t is known
that the king is using every influence
to avert bloodshed in the Ulster con-
troversy.
His majesty had long conferences
with the prime minister, Mr.. Asquith,
the secretary of state for war, Col
onel Seely, and several other high of
ficers, and afterward summoned Field
Marshal Lord Roberts. The latter has
been criticized by the liberals for
utterances which they construed as
encouragement to those officers who
have resigned from their regiments.
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-03-27

Belfast, Ireland.-A letter to the
provisional authorities received from
an officer at the Curragh station,
states that more than 100 officers had
resigned, including all the cavalry Of
flcers.
General Sir Arthur Paget, com
handing the troops In Ireland, had
them paraded and told them, accord
ing to the letter, that he had IAN
express order and request from the
king to ask every officer to go as
ordered. that they might never be
called upon to night, and that IL they
refused to go there might be mu-
tiny in the army, which would mean
revolution in England, and in six
months there would be no king and
no army"
Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1914-03-27
ALAskANs CELEBRATE.
Picturesque Parade Feature Of Rail-
road Celebration.

Seattle.-Passage of the Alaska
railroad bill by congress was cele-
brated on Saturday and at many
points in Alaska Saturday night. 1t
was the occasion also of the vernal
equinox, which means for Alaska the
approach of the long days of sunshine
and the unlocking of the frozen riv-
ers. In Seattle long parade, the
most picturesque ever seen here,
moved through tha principal streets.
The tone of the banners carried was
one of the jubilation over the ap-
preaching development Of the rich
territory in the north. Pack horses,
dog teams and men with gold rock
ers, shoulder packs. fur hoods, picks
and shovels were In line. Some of
the men had crossed Chilkoot pass in
the Klondike days and had stampedi
ed to the gold camp discovered.