Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1914-07-10
AS PARIS SEES Us
We're a Queer Sort Of Folk and
Eat Pig Three Times a Day.
INDIANS AT OUR BACK DOORS.


discover the most amazing statements
about America and Americans-ab
surdr ridiculous things that reveal to
the reader the unfortunate paucity Of
the Parisian's knowledge of the world.
These errors occur in the very best
journals OF Paris and under editors
WHO stand high in the newspaper
world and should know better.
Here are a few examples culled from
the leading papers OF Paris Of the sort
of statements commonly passed out IT,
the innocent French reader:
An article discussing the fuel used
In different countries includes this
statement: I'm America the houses are
heated by natural gas which comes
from the Rocky mountains in tubes or
pipes and enters the houses all over
the country. No other fuel is now in
use in America"
Another eniightening article relates
that "all the country west OF Chicago
Is a desert to the California, but 1T has
been marked OF with multitudinous
bitches, which are kept filed with wa
ter from the great Mississippi river,
and thus the land is made fertile and
crops may be grown"
This about American Indians h
amusing: 1.-THE American Indians are
no longer a menace to civilization.
They now live quietly ON the outskirts
of all American cities in quarters pro-
Vided for them and called Indian res
ervations.' They may be seen at any
time wandering the streets in their
blankets and feathers, but they are
now quite subdued-the white people
no longer fear them
Here is, indeed, piece of news
canada is a great country and rs
proud OF having been the birthplace Of
the greatest American patr4et, George
Washington"
A long article on the Mormon faith
says: 1.-THE MOrmOns are a strange re-
hgious sect founded by the Rev. A.
thur Smith about thirty years ago
Mr.. Smith was a contemporary Of Mrs.
Mary Eddy, the Christian Science
founder. But the two could not agree
In their faiths, and Mr. Smith went
west In d caravan with thousands Of
followers, many OF whom were killed
by the Indians In crossing the deserts
of America. NOrmons have many
wives, like the followers Of Islam, and
they are to be found in all American
cities with their large families"
The Partisan Is enlightened as to the
course Of most Of our fortunes in this
wise: The reason why so many OF the
great American fortunes are made In
pork packing Is because the staple Of
diet in America is pigs. Everybody
eats pig three times day, just as the
Euglishman eats roast beef three times
q day. The demand for this article OF
diet has been the means Of many
Americans founding great fortunes"
The truly democratic origin OF our
great men Is the subject for another
article. 1t tells us: ''The presidents of
the great American republic have AN
been Of humble origin. The, great Lin
coin was tailor and worked I'm great
poverty for many years prior to his
taking his place &C president Presi-
dent Cleveland was 8 New JERSEY
farmer aud was perhaps the most pros
porous Of eli the presidents In his early
life. After he had served several terms
he returned to his farm at Princes
Town and continued to lead the life a
a farmer until he died. doing much al
the work with bis own hands because
he liked to.
President Roosevelt is OF Jewish de
scent, though not OF the orthodox faith
his people having been converted tC
the Puritan and pilgrim faith soor
after they emigrated to the new world
Mr. Roosevelt was a policeman fol
many years before he entered politica
life and was also midsbipman in the
navy for time. he has always plain
ly shown his humble origin and durins
take long vacations and join parties Of
the toughest kind Of men and live Will
them for northumberland cattle
herders and miners. His high life ex
istence was always distasteful to him
and he lived the life Of humble work
man even at the White House. Mrs
Roosevelt serving his meals for him, s,
distasteful were servants to him.
We are told "the sky sweepers o
New York are modelled on the idea o
the Eiffeh tower, but covered wit
stone. u e people who live in the uI
per apartments are the poorer classes
but their rooms are airy and high
which is really better than living i
dark quarters near the ground. a
they did on the east side in the day
before sky sweepers were built"
Suffragettes will be interested t
read the following: In America VIZ
man suffrage has been accepted Th
women vote. enter all political pos
lions, and it is said that ere long ther
will be a woman president But th
unfortunate result Of suffrage is ths
the American woman has become il
Rufferable. She rules with an iro
hand. and men are but puppets to he
A Frenchman cannot und ..rstand VIII