Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1914-12-17
J0[[|Ty At THE
GR|O|R0N CLUBS
WINTER DINNER

lie gathered round the board here TO-
night at the Gridiron clubs winter din
1 ner.
President Wilson's earnest Injunction to
the American people to refrain from
public discussion of war Issues was
| strictly regarded and the location of
every one Of the many satires and dram
attic skits was always within the shore
lines OF the two oceans which bound the
Americas. Uncle Sans wards were
given full opportunity to air their griev-
ances, for the most part in song in
gathering described as Uncle Sans
Jubilee" The negro complained OF the
workings of the civil service law which
has sentenced more good coored voters
to the levees and cotton fields than any
other pernicious legislation" He also
deplored the new primary laws and to the
4 air of "Old Uncle Ned" he sang
There was an old delegate, his name
was Uncle Ned.
He lived long ago, long ago.
"He went to conventions whenever he
was bid
And that's how he lived, long ago. ;
CHORUS.
|
And hang up the fiddle and the bow.
There's no moro work for poor Uncle
Ned
THE primaries laid him low"
| The farmer was another ward with a
complaint; he wanted bunch OF green
backs. Up home ne had shed full OF
squashes and wanted the treasury to is
sue circulating notes on them. Two
other wards were Colonel Watterson
and Colonel Harvey They had no griev-
ances, but expressed their contentment
in a song, e. refrain OF which was:
'I've come back. come back.
| I've come back Dear Leader to thee,
to thee,
| I've come back, come back.
1--WE come hack Dear Leader to thee"
Among other wards, Alaska wanted to
be shielded from exploitation of capital
lists; Hawaii called attention to Queen
Liluokaani's lack Of pension: Porto
Rico wanted more government Jobs and
a duty on sugar, and Filipino wanted to
know when he would grow IN and be
Independent. When the latter was
chded and told that he must not get
hasty. he replied:
! Nasty! I'm getting musty.'
| The politician complained that taxes
had been laid on business paper. chewing
gum, billiard rooms and circuses while
whiskey had gone Scot free. because the
bill had been passed IN October and the
election was in November. and in a burst
OF satire he sang:
'If you have to lay a tax,
Don't put 1t onto rye.
Put 1t onto luxuries.
| But keep it off of rye.
'Stick 1t onto chewing gum,
"Or billiard cues. says I.
But for the love OF Mike, beg you,
Keep IL off of rye"
\ realistic prize fight vas staged in
the centre Of the dining hall and the
spectators were treated to lively mill.
The stalk" was "a large house located
at 1000 Pennsylvania avenue" and the
princir ais were Kid Democracy" and
"Old G. O. P" the referee being "Bull
Moose" who announced his ability to
lick both OF the two old parties. His
decisions had never been questioned,
even when overruled by the supreme
court"
A moving picture show enlivened the
!
delberAtive body on earth the United
States Senate" in session, but the genera
effect was greatly marred first by a
strenuous objection to such an undigni-
fed encroachmcnt upon the 'ody and
when that had been removed by the in
,ortion OF his own name into the advar-
tisement, by the fact that Senator Ollie
James persisted in standing up and
| ~ = IT. ol,,1 =.
picture.
Following it's invarahle rule. the Grid
iron cluh initiated. in the rresorce 81 its
many guests, new member, william
r BRIGHAM. Washington correspondent
" tho Boston Transcript. who was de-
zcribed as "a journalist who would likr
to get into an association Of newspaper
men" Answering questions ne said that
no was I'm pretty good standing II
Rotary Rryan's anteroom."
Roosevelt song to the tune Of 'J'r
- w." 20 Mnndalay," followed witty
this chorus:
I'm on my way to Oyster Bay,
Beneath my sheltering roof I've got tc
stay.
IT sing song
"Of things gone wrong.
! I'm no longer trusted.
They have got me fustered.
, "And the Big Sticks busted.
That's why I'm on the way to Oyster
Bay,
: i've come to say goodbye"
"Old Home Week" brought together
come old spirits under the kindly eye o.
, the Goddess OF Liberty on an elevate:
perch, who had come to welcome then
from her sta ton on the dome of the capt
toll. Uncle Joe Cannon was among the frs
arrivals, and when asked how long h
, was going to stay replied
well; didn't buy no return ticket"
Cy Sulloway, another returning con
S gresham, announced that up his wa
' THE hunting Is poor all the bull moos
g have been killed ON" When Nichola
, Longworth appeared, Cannon inquired;
"How's the family Nick? Bring 'er
l all to the celebrations"
Longworth-"All except father-in-law
Cannon-''Why don't you persuade hr
to stay In some OF those lonesome place
\ he writes about"
Longworth-"There amt no lonesome
= place than Oyster Bay right now"
r When told that Secretary Daniels ha
- abolished the wine mess on warships dur
n ing his absence from Washington, Sullo
o way exclaimed;
n THAT means no more inspection cruise
by the naval committee"
@ When Cannon learned that the Amer
90, tronn. had heen withdrawn frOT