Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1914-09-02

the class of '0s who could not Sing
arose and did so. 5gt. sss
Then each guest had to take
Tablespoonful Of Cafe NOR and Two
Cigars selected by q Farmer student
who had promised his Mother never \ 70 g.
use Tobacco. y y ! !35 5
It was now after 10 o'clock and time !
to 60 Home. Those who had started
to tune up along in the Afternoon Were Z
dying on the Vine. Others, who had l'ltl
tried to catch even on the IS Ticket
felt as II they had been loaded with
Pig Iron. Up at the Long Table enough
Speakers to. supply Chautauqua Cir
cult were feeling OF themselves 70
make sure that the Manuscript had not
been lost. Each thought that he was
the Orator. of the Evening. n,
The Committee had put on the Toast
Program every one who might pos
sibly take Onense at not being Asked.
Also they had selected as Toast
master a beaming Broncho whose Vo-
cal Chords were made OF seasoned
Moose-Hide and who remembered All
the black-face Gravy that Billy R1cSa
used to shoot across at Lew benedict
when Niblo's Garden was first opened
After every Commute Address ne
would spend ten minutes IN polite kid
ding Of the Last Speaker and then an
other 10 Minutes in climbing Noun
tain Height from which to present the
Next Speaker. IL .,.:. ;.s
Along about Midnight the Cowards
and Cutters began crawling out Of
Side Doors. but most Of the Loyal Sons
OF Old Bohunkus zpropped themselves
up and tried to be Game. {. IS hi
4 Before 4 o'clock a Member of the
Faculty put them on the Ropes with
40 Minutes on projected Changes " /.
the Curriculum. s III,
At 1880 the Toastmaster was MAKING
Speech No and getting ready to
spring the Oldest Living Graduate. n
Protected by all the Gray Hairs that
was left to him he began to Reminisce.3
going back to the Days when It was /
considered Great Lark to put Cowl
in the Chapel q III Il; y. b
The Toastmaster arrived home at "a
T.
it had been q Great Success.
.MORAIl---If they were paid 50 Oh
Head to stand for it, no one would 81
tend. 81 X: Il, s I. 81 G. 81. III NJ
The New Fable OF the Young Fellow
Who Had No Father to Guide Him. va
Once there was Boy who had beena
told twice a Day ever since he could /
remember that II he started to gos
into one Of those Doggeries with
Swinging Doors in front and Mirrors
along the Side, Blue Flame would
shoot out and burn him to a Cinder..
Also he had been warned that every
Playing Gard in the whole Deck was
a II Complimentary Ticket admitting {
one to Hot Griddle in the Main Par.
.quette Sof the Fiery Furnace.
And every little Paper Cigar waeaa
another Spike in the Burial Casket. sss
81 With seven or eight Guardians trail-s
Ing him Day and Night to keep him
away from the Lures of the Wicked I
World It looked like a Pipe that he3
would grow up to be the Dean OF
Theological Seminary.
Across the Street lived . poor un NJ
fortunate Lad whose Father was max
ing the futile EndeavorS to take It
away faster than the Revenue Ofacers$
could put Stamps on It. He was the
original Blotter. When they were try
ing to pry him away from it he would
take a chance on anything from Ar
MICA to Extract OF Vanilla. II
According to all the Laws Of Hered-;
ity the only Son was cast for the Part
OF Joe Morgan. !. 45.s5
He is now the Head Of a Matl-Order*
House. When he sees q CorkscreW he
pulls his Hat firmly over his Ears and
runs a Mile. n u s Il y. 81;
The Graduate Of the Lecture Bureau
may be found in a Swagger Club any.
evening with a Bourbon II. B. at his
Right, a stack Of Student Lamps at
his Left and Two Small Pair pressed.
closely against his Bosom.
MORAL - The Modern Ambition
seems to be to vary the Program.