davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grand Forks daily herald. (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1914-1916, 1914-10-08
ARMY MOVEMENTS.

There has been a great deal of loose
characterization i'll connection with
the war, and especially in its early
stages. Within a few days after the
war began the public was regarded
with stories of the decisive defeat
Of the Germans or the French, when
all that had happened was hat rela-
lively small bodies of men had been
caught rather too far from the main
body, and had been forced to retire,
or, perhaps, had been killed or
captured. So far as these little groups
were concerned, there was. of course,
defeat, perhaps rout. But all of these
skirmishes had little effect on the
general movement. Then, when the
Germans go right down to business,
and hammered their way toward Pa
rts, there were statements every day
that the Fench and English had been
and were being defeated. Again
there was defeat of a sort. but 1t was
the defeat of small units. as a rule.
but the main armies remained in
tact. The fact that there was no gen.
eral and decisive defeat of the allies
has been shown in what they have
done since the German forces almost
reached Paris. The allies were able
to check the southwark mark of the
Germans. and to force them, either by
frontal fighting or by strategic now
ments, to retrace their steps owe half
Of the ground which they had COW
cred.
Still further, while the Germans
have retired. their retirment Is not
an indication of defeat. Their adj
vance IN Paris failed, and they were
obliged to adopt other plans. But
their armies have not been captured
or put out of business. and SO long
as an army remains in the field, fight
ing vigorously and effectively, it is not
defeated.
Grand Forks daily herald. (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1914-1916, 1914-10-08
FAIR NEWS DISPATCHES.

1t may not be amiss to call atten-
ton to the character of the news SER
VICE which is now being provided in
connection with the war. The bulk Of
the information received comes
through London. Take the London
dispatches from day to day, and what
could be fairer or more temperate in
tone? Yesterdays leading article for
instance. told Of the turning OF the
tables by the German General Won
Kluck who. after having been ousted
and threatened. and being Obliged to
I himself as best he could
against the turning movement Of the
allies. had secured endorsements and
begun . turning movement Of his own.
The London dispatch does not at.
tempt to disguise the fact that this
brings about q critical situation. rhe
whole article Is a calm statement Of
fact. which is what 4 news report
should ~.
There are evidences that much Of
Grand Forks daily herald. (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1914-1916, 1914-10-08

mouth and half Of the cream drunk,
and when the dog grabbed him he
spilled the rest of it down his uniform.
Oh yes. 1t was the policeman who was
going to keep an v on tho house to
see that the milk wasn't %stolen!"
MY, you must have funny police
men in Chicago" exclaimed the house
wife. But say-I wish somebody'd
tell mo why milkmen keep on leaving
milk at a place when the milk is never
taken in. and it's plain to be zen that
the folks r away.
THE folks in the top nat forgot to
notify their milknnan when they went
on their vacation. and for two "
he left Z bottle Of milk and one of
buttermilk every single day. The man
who lives in the next fiat below made
a mistake one night when he came
home. I guess he'd been having q
friends. Some Of them had come along
with him. H%e<didn't want to disturb
his folks going to the front door. SO
thought he'd climb in tho pantry win
doF-from tho rear. p
"Well as I said. he climbed to tie
top floor by mistake. where he got
mixed up in the dark with those milk
bottles at the head Of the stairs. He
gave one awful yell and the next thing
IL SO01AoCo Ia ~ OoSSA0 W AAo&ASA0
bay. All those milk bottles fell three
flights Of stairs with him. and when
he got to the bottom he picked him
self up and ran like a deer.
His friends found him two blocke
of around the corner. holding, to Q
telephone pole and gazing wild-eyed
behind him.
WAS the building Destroyer waa
the first thing he said.
They had to take him back and
show him the broken milk bottles to
convince him that there hadn't been
a gas explosion or something Of the
sort. Then he got 1t into his head
that his wife had deliberately set q
trap for him. and we heard him the
rest Of the night telling his wife he
vas going to get . divorce"
"And yet milk Is said to be tho most
harmless Of beverages" laughed tho
Chicago wofnan
Grand Forks daily herald. (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1914-1916, 1914-10-08
GUARANTEED
RELIEF FOR ASTHMA

II want every Asthma sufferer in
Grand Forks to try my treatment en-
tirely at my risk" DR.. Rudolph
schiffmann announces. go to Daco.
tab Pharmacy, Grand Forks. N. D.,
and get a 60-cent package OF my
Asthmador and should It fail to give
instant relief these druggists will
cheerfully refund your money with
out any question whatever" The
Doctor says further. mo matter how
violent ths attack, how obstinate the
case or what else has failed, my Asth-
mador or Asthmador Cigarettes will
give instant relief, usually In 10 Sec
onds, but always within. Is minutes.
Hundreds Of unsolicited testimonials
abundantly prove what my remedy
has done, and ! know It will DO the
same for others. ! am 20 positively
certain that It will produces infant
relief and will DO found the best rom
edy ever used that ! have no Fears Of
a~uthorizing these d~ruoststs to give
this guarantees or Of their being CALI
Cd upon for the rsfunding Of money"
No risk whatever ID run In buying this
remedy under this positive guAran-
tee.
Persons living, elsewhere will be
supplied under the same guarantee.
by their local druggist or direct by
DR.. n. Schiifmann, ct. Paul. Ainn.-
Adv. 4:
Grand Forks daily herald. (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1914-1916, 1914-10-08
GOOD GAME WITH GOATS.

On the last night of the campaign,
stephen B. Ayres, candidate for con
gress in n of the Bronx districts, was
romping along the road in his auto
mobile, in a hurry to fill a speaking
engagement, according to the New
York correspondent of the Cincinnati
Times-Star. There was a thud and a
squeal. and Mr.. Ayers dismounted.
You got me goat" wept a small
boy. In the street lay the body Of q
horned animal. Mr.. Ayers cheered the
little fellow up, and slipped him a $40
bill.
"Go and buy another goat, sonny
said he. The boy departed with glad
outcries. 1t was midnight when Mr..
Ayres' auto returned ove the same
route. It rounded a corner hurriedly,
and then Mr.. Ayers seized the chauf-
feur by the arm.
Run dead Slow" he Kissed.
AS far as the eye could reach small
boys might be seen sneaking out of
the roadside shadows, leading sacri-
fetal goats by strings. Mr.. Ayers
chauffeur zigzagged the machine to
safety. A broad grin stretched his
mouth until he finally cut into we'll
lighted Broadway, and could send the
speed lever forward a notch. By and
by, Mr.. Ayers noticed the smile upon
his drivers face and inquired about 1t.
I'm laughing" said the driver "at
that first goat. He was dead three
days ago. The kids dad made the
first payment On his lot out of the
proceeds of that goat"
Grand Forks daily herald. (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1914-1916, 1914-10-08
THE MIX THIEF.
(By e. K. Wooley.

So "ooAoys
Copyright, 1914. by p. X. Wooley.)
"Well, we didn't get our milk again
today" sighed the housewife. IT sup
pose our milkman's horse has run
away again. Every time he misses
bringing our milk he has a pathetic
tale to tell next day about his horse
running away. That horse must be
a perfect terror. or u milkman 10
a finished prevaricator."
THE usual excuse. I believe" said
the Chicago woman who was her
guest, lis that the milk must have
been stolen. I know that's usually
what I'm told when I don't get my
milk.
Sometimes itiis stolen" she added.
One of my neighbors in Chicago had
quite an experience.
Morning after morning she missed
it. She complained to the milk COM
pany, which assured her that her milk
Somebody must be stealing 1t,
Though they watched. the thief
wasn't caught, 50 my friend stopped
the policeman on the beat one day
and told him her milk troubles. He
was very sympathetic and told her he
would keep an eye4on her place. After
tHaL she zen. DetG&A- 90 III
But the milk Continued to disap-
pear. Finally. my friend borrowed a
small dog with a. loud voice., said dog
guaranteed to be a sure burglar
alarm. She gave him the RUN Of the
first floor of the house and retired.
feeling certain that at last she had
the key to the mystery.
"At an unearthly hour Of tho morn
ing the small dog barked frantically.
My friend came tumbling down stairs,
to discover that what had aroused the
dog was simply the milkman leavins
the milk-it was really a pint of
cream, and she was the only one in
the block who took cream.
Well, my friend stayed down stairs.
holding the dog and keeping her eye
glued to the keyhole Of the side d.
from where she. could spot the milk
bottle. The door was unlocked 50 she
could spring out upon the thief.
Pretty soon she heard somebody
stealthily approaching. The dog wris-
gled, but she held it's mouth shut.
Then a huge form hove in front of
the keyhole, there was silence for a
moment, and my friend flung open the
door, while the dog jumped out and
took. a firm hold of the thief's shin.
THE man had the bottle up to his
Grand Forks daily herald. (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1914-1916, 1914-10-08

A CONTINENTAL MOVEMENT.

the movement for better farming
conditions, for the better conservation
of the fertility Of the soil, and for the
diversification and intensification of
agricultural industry, is not local or
sectional. 1t is continental. The i'm
pulse toward better conditions is be-
ing felt everywhere. and no single sub
ject has yer received more earnest
thought and careful study than is be-
ing devoted to this particular one
just now.
Northwestern Canada is a territory
Of vast extent. 1t contains millions
of acres Of fertile soil, and the people
there have started their operations,
very naturally, by making wheat their
main and almost exclusive crop. There
has been a feeling quite generally en-
tertained that western Canada would.
for generations, be a single crop coun-
try, and that that crop would be
wheat. Most people have taken it for
granted that in time other crops
would be raised there, but as a rule
the time for this was placed In the
distant future, when all the land had
been taken up. and when continuous
cropping had forced the farmers to
vary their work. But that change
Is coming about much earlier than
many people imagined. There are
now travelling through this state Can
adam business men and farmers who
are here for the purpose of inspect
ing such advanced methods as have
been adopted here, because they are
trying to promote radical changes in
Canadian farming methods, and to
bring them up to the best modern
practice. The prospect is that chang
es which required many years to
work out in the older settled parts of
the country will, in the light of pres
ent knowledge. be worked out in the
newer country in one-fourth of the
time.
The south as well as the north is
feeling the effect of this movement.
thousands of southern men have inn
poverished themselves by the contin-
uous growing of cotton. Year after
year the same crop was growing on
the same land. until, as in the case of
wheat cropping. or any other one
crop plan. the land would no longer
respond with good crops. At the
same time these people we're buying.
at high prices. which included trans
portation charges from great dist
ances. products for their w con-
sumption which could have been pro-
duced at home. and the production of
which would have improved their soil.
There Is a wide movement going m
now In the south to stimulate the
growth of other crops on land for
merly devoted to cotton, and the ef-
rorts put forth in this direction by
the federal department of agriculture
oy business mems organizations and
by progressive farmers, is meeting a
ready response.
The Better Farming movement IN
his state is a part of a great ont
mental movement for the betterment
OF farm conditions. for the conserya-
ton OF the of the soil. for
the raising of the standards of farm
Ire. n for putting the business Of
FARMING on the basis of dignity as a
real business where 1t properly be-
longs. Such a movement merits the
hearty support Of every man who de-
sires the best that there is for his
community.
Grand Forks daily herald. (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1914-1916, 1914-10-08
AMERICAN AMBASSADOR.

Chicago Herald: Americans have
often been told how the representa-
tives Of their government in foreign
capitals were more or less the tar
gets of press and popular derision.
However that may have been in the
past, it isn't so in Europe today. The
American ambassador or minister is
an .ev~er-present help in time of
trouble in a dozen European capitals.
DIR. Henry Van Dyke. our minister
to the Netherlands. told a simple and
unpretentious story about 1t in Mon
days Herald. He told how he had
managed to avoid. a money crisis for
the thousands of Americans who have
escaped through Holland from the
war zone. Nor has the work been
limited to Americans. 1t has traced
English people missing in Germany
and Germans missing in England,
Belgium or France for their relatives
thousands of them.
Nor has hostile occupation or
threatened siege driven the American
ENJOYS from their posts. When the
Germans drove the Belgians out of
Brussels all the diplomats left except
Mr.. Whitlock. When the French gov
eminent deemed it prudent to retire
from Paris to Bordeaux, of all the
foreign ENJOYS, only Mr.. Herrick fac
ed the siege prospect and stayed.
just as Mr.. Washburn did in 1901.
With eight nations actually at war
and nine. including Portugal. nomi-
nally so, Uncle Sam has been operat-
ing a sort Of diplomatic trust this
summer. In most of the capitals of
the warning nations the interests of
the enemy powers have been confided
to the American envoy. In a few cas-
es he is assisted by his Spanish coll
league.
1t must be confessed that the agents
of u diplomatic trust are doing their
work with high efficiency. In not a
single case have they been accused of
n improperly of conduct. Before
the war we had our George Fred Will
liams. Since it began we have had
no Rustem Bey nor Sir Lionel Car
den mol Baron von Schoen. American
diplomacy may not pay much atten-
ton to the 'frills'' in time of peace,
but it does the work when real work
ers are needed.
Grand Forks daily herald. (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1914-1916, 1914-10-08
Q UR S CHI @

What do you mene?" So Bull toald
her abowt it, & sed he thot he would
waite for Torp now & get back his
kollecktion of kullerd glass, the swap
being all off,"
But Missus Stebbins toald him to go
away or she would have him rested.
so he dun so, but th;ssmoarning ne
lade for Torp & trlde to paik him
give back the kullerd glass. Torp sed
he couldent see 1t that way, he hav-
ing KEEP his part Of the bargain all rite,
& it not being his falt If Bulls mu-
ther wouldent let him kepe Charles.
He sed if his muther hadent let him
keap the kullerd glass 1t would be diff
frunt but she dident to objeck,
& besides she had gave him a good
whaling for swapping Charles, so he
thot he had erned the glass.
Bull sed, wei. he would fife Torp
for 1t. & thay had 1t pritty good, but
nobody wun, becawse the bell rung.
Awlso, when thay went to look for the
Grand Forks daily herald. (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1914-1916, 1914-10-08
FRESH AIR.

Presently we people of the north
west will be actively making prepara-
lions for winter, and putting our
houses in order to Withstand the cold
blasts which occasionally come down
from the far north. The general
plan is to seal the house up as tight
ly as possible, to make it as nearly
air tight as a be done. This is a
good idea . If a house is to be warm
in winter it must be tight. We may
install whatever heating system we
please, but unless the house is so ft-
ted up that it will keep the wind out
1t will be cold and comfortless.
But, in sealing the house up, we
should not overlook ample provision
for unsealing it at will. In other
words, while the house should be tx
ed to keep the wind out when we
want 1t kept out, 1t should also be
hxed so as to let some Of 1t in when
We want 1t. Fix up a scheme to get
fresh air into the house, and use the
scheme.
A great many foolish things are
done In the name Of ventilation. Some
people taboo storm windows, which
10 nonsensical for two reasons first,
because with but a single window
there Is constant and tremendous loss
Of heat, as glass Is an excellent con-
ductor. and second. the single window
In . dwelling almost invariably be-
comes 30 covered with frost that all
the Joints are sealed up. no air can
enter when the window is closed, and
the window cannot be opened.
No better method of keeping the air
In q house pure could be devised than
to leave all the doors and windows
open and let the wind blow through.
But, II that Is to be done, why use a
house at all? The great outdoors
would be just az comfortable, and
there could be no question as to the
purity Of the air. Most Of US, how
ever. are 30 constituted that we pre-
fer to live in houses, and to have
those houses heated to a temperature
which will be comfortable when we
are sitting and taking our ease. To
DO his we must compromise a little
on tho matter Of fresh air, and be
content with something less than hav
Ing the wind circulating freely
through the rooms.
The house with the wind circulat-
Ing freely IL impossible, In this lati-
tude, and the house which cannot be
opened up whend desired is an abomin-
alton. That which is serviceable and
practical lies between these two ex-
tremes. Storm windows should be
put on all over the house, and most
Of them should be hinged and ar
ranged so that they may be opened
from the inside. and fastened open.
! With this combination one can have
access to the outer air at any time. for
both windows will open. and the size
OF the opening may be adjusted to the
weather conditions.
Grand Forks daily herald. (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1914-1916, 1914-10-08

Of the process, to the retailers at the
other. perform. however clumsily and
extensively, an indispensable service.
and do not. on the average. get a very
large profit. The producers suffer
from low prices for their output; the
consumers suffer from the high prices
they have to pay. and the distributors
their capital and their services.
Attention was called the other day
in The Times to the fact that a on
siderable saving could be made in the
last stage Of distribution, viz. in the
delivery of retail orders by either CO.
operative or specialized delivery. But
this is only one field in which some
form Of cooperation is required, and
only one in many in which it would
be extremely profitable. Examples of
operative agricultural organizations
have flourished in all countries of Eu-
rope. especially in Germany, Den
mark, and Sweden. and they did exist
in Belgium before the Reaper whose
name is Death instituted his dread
monopoly, and they cover all fields,
save one, Of production and distribu-
ton. These organizations buy sup
plies and machinery of the best type
at the lowest wholesale prices, regu-
late the quality and packing of prod
ucts, attend to transportation and to
sale in the wholesale markets, and
might easily organize final delivery.
They secure the lowest price and best
quality of all the farmer members
have to buy, and. with particular at
tention to uniform and trustworthy
quality, get the highest market prices
for what the members have to sell.
Like systematic and intelligent CO.
operation is perfectly possible in this
country. 1t would undoubtedly be
difficult, because we are a nation of
individualists. and our small farmers
the chief producers for the retail
trade-are by nature and training the
most stubbornly individualist Of all.
But this difficulty can be overcome,
and. We are convinced. ultimately
will be.
Grand Forks daily herald. (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1914-1916, 1914-10-08
Laugh With U.

Mother-"Don't you think that q
boy OF your sise could take the tacks
out Of this carpet II ne wanted to?"
small Boy-s.I Guess SO. Shall I 30
see II I can ind q boy who wants to?"
Magazine Of Fun.
Before I agree Il undertake your
aetense, SAID the eminent criminal
lawyer. "you will have to tell me the
whole truth. Did you embezzle the
hundred thousand dollars you are &C
cused of having taken?"
Yes. sir" replied the accused man.
I'll not attempt to conceal the fact
from you. I stole every cent Of It,"
J How much. Of 1t have you still?"
ITS all gone but about a couple Of
dollars.
Young man. said the eminent
lawyer, %buttoning his coat about him
ter plead guilty and throw yourself on
the mercy Of the court"
I'll do 1t If you say so, sir. What
are you going to charge me for the
1.-TWO dollars"
Hotel Waiter-Are you the gentle
man who has been ringing all the
time, sir
Farmer Hayseed (at the electric
bell)-1 dunno. 1 just lost me collar
stud and was trying. to dig this little
un out OF the wall with my knife.
Mr.. Bachrach Is a most c%onsiderate
husband, but, Of course, there is =
limit. Upon leaving home one norm
Ing his wife requested him to purchase
for her a pair Of shoes, giving him a
detailed description.
Promptly on his luncheon hour Mr..
Bachrach sought the shoe emporium.
Il want q pair of button shoes for
my wife," he announced as the clerk
came forward.
What kind do you wish?"
Doesn't matter-just SO they don't
button in the back."-Harper's Mag
azine.
Grandma-Johnny, 1 find you have
taken more maple sugar than I gave
you.
Johnny-Yes, grandma, I've been
making believe there was another lit
tie boy spending the day with me.
1T is a sad moment in life," said
Cynic, when you find that love, glory,
happiness are not worth a cigar"
at is a sadder moment STILL" said
his friend, when you find that the
cigar itself is bad!"
Grand Forks daily herald. (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1914-1916, 1914-10-08

the dissatisfaction expressed by some
Americans with the tone of the Amer
lean newspaper reports has been al
layed. There is a better realization
that the. spirit of fairness has gov
erned in the publication of news mat
ter. and it is worthy of note that the
same temperate tone prevails in much
Of the matter al it passed the censor.
Grand Forks daily herald. (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1914-1916, 1914-10-08
EASILY DETERMINED.

Philadelphia Telegraph: Reference
at 4 recent banquet was made to &C.
centricity when Stewart Edward
White. the author, told Of an incl
dent that happened in Western
lunatic asylum. =.
One afternoon some visitors were
being shown through tho institution
when Of them thoughtfully paus-
ed and turned to the keeper who wa
acting as the conductor.
81 was just wondering" remarked
the visitor, "how you manage to tell
when any Of these people are sufici-
emily recovered to leave the place"
That's very easy" answered the
keeper. I'VE have a big trough which
we I'LL with water leaving the spigot
running and tell them to bale it out
with q bucket"
do you mean to gay that ia a re-
liable test?" doubtfully returned the
visitor.
ooh, yes!" smiled the keeper.
Those who are not crazy turn of
the spigot."
Grand Forks daily herald. (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1914-1916, 1914-10-08
COOPERATION AND mDpLEMES

New York Times: 1t is probable
that the root OF the dihiculty in the
6dtstribution Of food lies in the lack
IN capacity for cooperation at pres
sent manifested in all the branches
scf that operation. Il u generally con-
geadsd that producers OF this class q
Ep1oducts usually get very small
esaeafS q the retail prices paid ~ the
seonsunnsrs. and the blame II usually
kgstAtSd upon that class known vague
&ysst the middlemen. Yet under act
|nel eciditions the middIemen. from
ss19tsbuyese Of farm produce Il ons end