Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1914-12-05

~
Now doth the frantic, wild-eyed youth
bestir himself and think
OF one crevasse both deep and wide him
self upon the brink
Glad Christmas day Is on the way~-into
l.. his life it drifts
And where on earth is he to get the
If he had only thought of it month or
When he had that twenty dollars that he
felt constrained to blow
But now the faces of the girls loom UP
And here comes Christmas. Juggernaut!
away bout thirty days!
Bills Idea Of It
Chicago JournaI)
Two Marylanders, WHO were visiting
the National museum at Washington,
were standing in front of an Egyptian
mummy, over which hung a placard
bearing the inscription, "B. C. 1ls7."
| Both visitors were much mysthied
thereby. Said one:
what do you make of that, Billy"
WELL" said Bill. II dunno. but maybe
| it was the number OF the motor car that
killed him.
The Horrors Of Peace
(From the Cornell Widow
Man, hard of hearing, was walking
along the street, in a thoughtful mood,
when young boy accosted him and said:
Mister, yer mouths OPEN"
Whats that?''
81 say yer mouths open.''
"a little louder please, I'm hard of
| hearing
Yer mugs ajar-yer mouths OPEN"
Co." said the man. passing on. 81 know
It'll left it open.'
Nothing Doing
Wonite stantz-Im supposed to eat a
sirloin steak in the cafe scene. eh7 Let
us start rehearsing that part.
Manager-That part amt goin' t be
rehearsed. Think this is million dollar
production.
Father-"I have just heard that that
ineorrigible son of mine has just married
a weil-known actress
Daughter-"Well you have yourself to
blame, father"
Father-'How do you make that out?"
Daughter-'"Haven't you often told him
to hitch his wagon to starr
Medicine Man-what have you been
eating?
Cannibal King-I have just finished up
an American millionaire.
Medicine Man-Good heavens, No won
der you are Ill. I've told you repeatedly
to beware of anything rich.
The Boss-Mr Stubpen, when you came
in this morning / detected a trace Of
liquor about your person.
The Bookkeeper-That' fine. sir. Fine.
That shows how much better your cold
Is. sir.-Puck.
Didn't / tell you that when you met
man In hard luck you ought to greet
him with a SMILE" said the wise and
good counselor.
YES" replied the hinty-souled person
II went even further than that. / gave
him the laugh. "-washington Star.
Proud Young Father-Isn't he a little
beauty? What a, pity he has that mark
on his upper lip.
Proud Young Mother-Why. John. his
mustache will hide that.-Philadelphia
Times.
This beach looks rather dangerous
| remarked the timid bather. Don't peo-
pie get drowned here very often?"
mo. madam replied the life guard.
mo one ever gets drowned here more
than once. "-Judge.
Uncle. tell me about Ali Bahia and the
40 thieves.'
IT do not remember that story. But
| will. If you like, tell you about my Euro
pean trip and the 40 hotel keepers
"some men will go to any extremes for
| money"
Eyes. Even to talking into a dicto-
graph"
| Every rose has its thorn. And the
mean part Of II is that the thorn stays on
the job when the rose has withered.-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
"You have tremendously faithful dog.
| sir. AS you turned to speak just now a
strange dog tried to take your meat and
just as he was going to snatch it your
dog ate it up himseif.-Fiiegende Blaet-
| ter.
| The traditional fool and his money are
lucky ever to have got together In the
| first place.-Puck.
Coming Into Her Own.
Woman is certainly coming into her
own. Even in tender romance she Is
exerting an influence.
The young man had just been ac-
cepted. In his rapture he exclaimed.
But do you think, my love. I am
good enough for your"
His strong minded fance looked
sternly at him for a moment and re-
piled Good enough for met You've