davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22

i thought Ii was Ie,tul. "a ol me to call
on every tenant and welcome him and
make him feel at home.
There is no etiquette around a sky
scraper.
The nearest approach to it is a de-
mand that when an elevator boy busts
his way into a room on the fifth floor
to tell the occupant that there is a
small fire in the basement and finds
five men playing poker he shall imme-.
diately withdraw with the remark:
please excuse me. / did not know.
that you were writing your last wills
and testamentsI'
The elevator boy who should go
around the building telling about that
poker game and that one Of the hands
he caught sight Of was a straight flush
would lose his job that very night.
Every elevator boy is sooner or later
bound to get at least one bright idea.
Beware Of them. got one after had
served about six months. 1t was to
fence off a half of each elevator and
rent the spaces to umbrella members
and shoeString men. Thus they would
always be at hand when wanted and
the rentals of the building be largely
Increased. The agent listened to my
plan and then led me to the door by
the ear and said:
go! Go down to Wall street, You
belong among the financiersr'
! And one thing more. Never, under
any circumstances, if woman comes
to your cage and wants to know If
Smith, Jones or Brown has an Office
I there, do you answer Yes" Your an
swer must be:
II will see, madam; will see"
And then you must slip up and
notify the party that he is being asked
for by woman, and describe her and
leave it to him whether to make a
/ sneak or not.
/ lost a luxurious job by letting a
woman ascend to an office unannounc-
ed, and her husband lost most of his
hair and whiskers at the same time,
SAMMIS,
The Elevator Boy,
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
HE POSES IN THE ALPS.
The "Dear Old Shepherd" Who Does
II For a Consideration.

Nearly every adventurer upon the
Alps nowadays carries camera 1t
Is sign of the times. People have
become obsessed with the importance
of realities, and the camera is the only
possible agent to enable you to show
realities to your friends, 1t is not Of
much use to tell them about some
strange sight or of some curious con-
fomation OF nature you may have
met in your climb. You must show
it to them.
A feature of the Alps today Is the
number of worthless who earn their
bread by means of the camera. There
is an old man at Grindelwald. for in
stance, who makes quite comforta-
BILE competency by standing in front
of his chalet when visitors laden with
cameras are coming up the side of the
mountain and blowing upon a tre-
mendous horn
How very quaintr' exclaims the
unsuspecting tourist. "The dear old
shepherd is calling home the cows"
The dear old shepherd. however, is a
man of sound business principles. He
doesn't drag his antiquated instru-
ment about his house for the fun of
the thing. Neither does he perform
upon it for the benefit of his flocks
and herds, for he owns none. But he
will tell you frankly, when you ask
him to stand "quite STILL" that he will
very willingly pose in whatever man
ner you like. but you must first pay
him couple of francs for his trouble.
That old man is probably the best
known character in the Grisons and
the hero of many local tales.-Wide
World Magazine.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
Penn Freshman,s strenotb Test.

Kenneth c. Wirhrow, freshman at
the University of Pennsylvania, made
a total of LOO Kilograms in the
strength tests at that institution in an
attempt to break the record of LIZA
Elograms held by Michael Dorzias.
He bettered the figures of Dorzias in
tne neck test, the arm pull, the arm
push, the push with both arms free
ana the grip with both hands, but fell
behind in the leg and back lifts With
row, who was a guard on the freshman
Football team, declared his intention of
making another attempt at the record
In the near future.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
BUTT AND HIS BANKnOTES.
Isaac Was Great Orator, but Was
Careless With Money.

Careless win money.
Some amusing anecdotes are told of
Isaac Butt, the famous Irish orator,
in 'The Life of Old Dublin" by Mr..
James Collins. The author recalls the,
fact that Butt was very careless in re-
gard to money and repeats reminis-
cence which he heard from the late
Judge Adams:
"Poor Isaac Butt was man Of
splendid genius, but, as all the world
knew, careless to the last degree in
money matters. l was in Youghal
when the election petition was tried
there, and Butt was counsel for Mr.
Weguelin. At the close of the trial
Mr.. Butt was handed his check, run
ming to several hundred pounds. The
moment he got it he went over to one
of the banks and cashed it.
"Butt was staying at the house of a
Youghal gentleman, and in the morn
ing he put his hand in his pocket and
found the money was gone. l shall
never forget the hullabaloo that fol-
lowed. CONSERVATION, suspicion, bed
lam swept through the house. And in
the middle of it all, just as the police
were being summoned. the young son
of the house turned up with the miss
ing banknotes.
1T had been a windy night, the win
dow shook in the loose frame, and
Butt, annoyed by the noise, got up,
stuffed the first wad Of paper he could
find between the frame and the case
ment. went to bed again and forgot all
about it."
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
YALE SPORTS MIXED UP.
Policy Seems to Be to Divide Authority
of Leaders.

Policy Seems to Be to Divide Authority
of Leaders.
Yale's oarsmen must be very tenn
peramental lot. Now it is announced
that Dick Armstrong, recently appoint
ed head coach for rowing, will not
.eally coach. He is to be merely the
manager for the squad of rowing
prima donnas at New Haven. Arm
strong will not actually do any elach-
ing, but will act as an organizer and
in diplomatic capacity" says re-
port from New Haven.
Guy Nickalls and Eugene Giannini
are to do the instructing. Armstrong
is appointed to teach the famous win
ming Bob Cook stroke, but Nickalls
and Giannini are to do the actual
coaching, which makes the entire af-
fair about as clear as a tub of water
from the Mississippi.
It seems strange that with all the
athletic reverses Yale has met in the
there must be one man at the helm iD
every sport. Imagine Cornell appoint
ing a man to act in a diplomatic ca
pacity in rowing and allowing two 9TH
ers to shape the policy and the desti-
MES of the crew. Somehow it does
not sound right, and it is very likely
not to work out right.
The same principle applies to foot
ball at Yale. Howard Jones was sure
ly not given the full rein he was prom
ised, and it is said that he will not re-
turn next year The head coach must
be so in more than name.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
GEORGE PAskeRT's JINx.

George Paskert, PhiladelIlhia
National league outfelder, has an
unenviable record for misfortune.
Before reporting to tnt Quakers
last spring his troubles began
with an attack of scarlet fever.
During an exhibition game
. Paskert had scarcely got up
speed before he was forced to
quit the game again with torn
hgaments in his ankle. This
laid him up for two weeks.
The little finger of his right
hand was broken soon after his
return to the game. and when he
had that repaired the little fin
ger of his left hand was dislo-
Gated.
Just before the end of the sea-
SON he suffered an injury to his
groin.
} After remaining over in Phila-
delphia to be attended, Paskert
, finally started for the middle
west in his automobile. and
while in Cleveland a boy was
run over by his machine.
Paskert is something of a phi
losopher. He says: "Next sea-
son ought to be the best 1 ever
) had. There is no more hard luck
} in the world left for me-"
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
Some Waaers.

I'll bet no millionaire can get
From steak and chops and pie
And cabbage. too, and oyster stew
More downright joy than I.
Detroit Free Press.
I'll bet no millionaire can get,
However he may try,
From quip or pun or other fun
A better laugh than ].
Youngstown Telegram.
III bet no millionaire can get
From where the bullets fly
Or from where there is work to do
In quicker time than I.
Houston Post.
I'll bet no millionaire can get,
No matter how he schemes,
More pleasure from realities
Than / do out of dreams.
Birmingham Age Herald.
I'll bet no millionaire can get
More chances to deny
Appeals for yen by ragged men
Who hate to work than l.
Chicago Record Herald.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
Trick of the Orator.

Disraeli, whose eloquence Lord Cur
zon ranks below that of Gladstone,
tried hard to give his hearers the i'm
preston that he was not in the habit
of preparing his speeches. Discussing
Plunket's oratory with Disraeli. Lord
Granville remarked that the Irish
statesman hesitated so long for a
word that he seemed to be on the
point Of breaking down. Lord bless
your Disraeli exclaimed. did that
take you in? Why, that is part of the
trick. have often done it to make it
appear that my speech has not been
prepared. Chronicle.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22

fee building l made the mistake of
thinking l was the whole show.
The agent of the building was a Mr..
Rentum. l left the Mr.. off when 1 ad-
dressed him.
l addressed the engineer as "old
man."
l poked a solemn old banker in the
ribs and asked about his hollyhocks.
We had a professor of natural his
tory on the sixth floor, and l called
him professor"
My idea was to let everybody know
that l did not feel above them be-
cause l was earning 81 per week.
Fatal Advice.
There was no one to tell me that
was making a fool of myself, and 1
went on for about ten days. Then 1
called at the residence of the owner
one night and advised him as busi-
ness move to build a summer garden
on the roof of our building.
l can't say what he thought of it.
He gave me no clew, but he gave me
the boot, and 1 never called at the Of
fee for the 65 cents salary due me.
Don't walk into your cage with any
idea that you own any part of the
building or that you have come to
teach the agent, the engineer or the
Janitor how to run a side show.
Don't stop your elevator between
floors to ask the man with the game
leg whether he was disabled by a kick
from a jackass or fell off the roof of a
cider mill.
When l got my next place 1 was
wise enough to cut out some things,
but not enough. We had several bro
kers in our building, and 1 set out to
make them my friends. If could do
this they would tip me off on many
good thing.
l asked after the health of their
wives and children.
I asked If they preferred bulldogs
to collies.
wrote to my cousin for news of
the corn crop that 1 might post the
street"
ventured several financial opinions
that were apparently we'll received.
1t took long time to thaw those
brokers out and get their confidence,
but l persisted, and at length the day
came. was taking Mr.. Skinem up
alone. suppose l looked at him as
appealing as calf for its milk, for he
put his mouth down to my ear and
whispered:
"Buy Rock Island my sonw
That was enough. | borrowed all
the cash | could from the other boys,
sold my revolver, skates and bike, had
mother draw her savings and bought
Rock Island on margin,
In four days was wiped out.
So was mother.
So were the boys.
1t was week later before met Mr..
Skinem again. He pcked me in the
ribs, winlled and asked:
"1s that gigantic mortgage lifted,
Its spiked down anew, sir" re-
piled.
"Why, how's that?"
81 followed your advice and bought
Rock Island"
"Rock Island Why, you young
idiot, told you to buy rock salt! 1t
has gone up cents a bag, and you
ought to be $1,000 to the goodr'
/ have never trusted a broker since.
Etiquette and Diplomacy.
Another mistake | made was a mis-
understanding of the rules Of etiquette.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
Eather,s ultimatum.

The father of a large family Of
children was trying hard to read the
evening paper.
whats that terrible racket in the
hall, Martha"
"One of the children just fell down
stairs"
"Well," he replied, turning over an
other page of the paper, "you tell the
children if they can't fall downstairs
quietly they'll have to stop it."-Lip-
pincott's.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
What They Needed.

"Now, my friends" said the candi-
date, making another effort to arouse
enthusiasm in his hearers. what do
we need in order to carry this con-
stituency by the biggest majority in
its history?'
The response was immediate and en-
thusiastic. Another candidater' yell
ed the audience.-Toronto World.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
An impossible Person.

Mrs. Catterson-I don't like Mrs.
Chatterson. She's so sly and deceit
full
Mrs. Patterson-Doesn't she tell the
truth?
Mrs. Catterson-Thats the trouble.
Every time I'm certain she's lying I
find that she isn't.-New York Globe.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
Paw Knows Everything

Willie-Paw, did George Washington
ever tell lie?
Paw-I don't know, my son. He GER
tainly didn't get home before midnight
every night after he married Martha
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
Ambition and Realization.

"What broke up the clubT asked
one young lady from Bryn Mawr to
her friend, both being members Of the
club for girls who would not marry
man getting less than $4,000 year.
"a young clerk getting $40 week."
said Ida as the conductor tried not to
Philadelphia Press.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
Just Like a Man.

"Men are inconsiderate things" OBJ
served the bride Of few months.
"You are not growing pessimistic al
ready?" smiled her friend.
"Well, they are selfish. Yesterday
Harry had the cook broil for him the
nice lamb chops had ordered for my
dog."-Judge.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
Two Questions.

! "Do you believe the theory that doc
tors have right to kill where they
can not cure?
Haven't they always been doing
ftT-Boston Transcript.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22

AhE Willie
lakes and rivers of the middle and
northwest owing to the lack of ice in
the east
An international series of races is
scheduled to be held off Kalamazoo, in
which Canadian and American ice
yachts will compete, and these events
are expected to bring the season to
climax in the great lake section.
Inc biggest contests of the year in
the east will occur on the Shrewsbury
river near Red Bank, N. j., as usual.
In the illustration is shown the
White Bird, new craft. owned in
Long Branch, =. j., which should be
a prominent faci.r in the Shrewsbury
river races.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
Conservation of Energy.

"Johnny, 1 don't believe you've
studied your geography"
''No, mum. 1 heard pa say the map
Of the world was changin' every day,
an I thought I'd wait few years till
things get settled. Brooklyn Life.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
Preparation.

Guest-So your fellow keeper Page
is going to be married, is he? Game
keeper-Aye, sir, that be- He wor
prayed for in church foor the second
time Sunday laast.-London Mail.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
Permanent Union.

Knicker-The Atlantic and Pacific
are welded.
Bocker-And neither of them can
possibly go to Reno-New York Sun.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
SAMMIS' ADVICE.
The Elevator Boy Rises to Give q
Few "Don'ts."
HIS SHATTERED ILLUSIONS.
These He Reeounts In Touching Fash
ion, Revealing the Cause Of His An
tipathy to Brokers Eager to Hand
Out Tips on the Market.
BY NJ. QUAD.

6y &Oft1s
copyright, 1918, by Associated Literary
Press
a LTHOUGH / retired from the
A profession of elevating an ele-
Il "a vator many years ago and
have been living in luxury in
the bosom of happy family ever
since, still take deep interest in the
welfare of the lad who starts out to
seek fame and fortune by conducting
a cage.
Of course there are failures in this
profession as in all others, but Mr.
Bradstreet is happy to inform me that
the per cent is the lowest of any.
That means that the great majority
of boys who take hold are determined
to reach the top.
The first time 1 was employed to
take charge Of the elevator of an Of
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
Fatal Declaration.

Mr.. Hoyle-I admire good liar!
Mrs. Hoyle-You egotistLTown Top.
Las,
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22
Invaluable Training.

$50 you prefer salesman with mill
tary training?"
Eyes. The men under me have to
know how to take ORDERS" explained
the sales manager.-Buffalo Express.
Bridgeton pioneer., 1914-01-22

The night is long that never finds the
day.-Shakespeare.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-12-20

of all the arts, painting, music, sculp-
ture, and to realize the value of line
and movement-to master them all, in
a sense.
Should Study Rembrandt Portraits.
Every woman ought to study the
Rembrandt portraits in the great Alt
man collection. What an inspiration
find in that old woman who is trim
ming her finger nailsl Did that little
old woman of the people realize that
she was to become immortal? I'll bet
you she didn't But she had the great
secret, TO be just herself. She was
unashamed of her age and her pow
erty.
1.-THE woman who sits for her por-
trait should demand one right--to be
just herself As a matter of fact, every
woman is more aware of her-'points,
do you say?-than any stranger could
be. Do you know any women who have
not studied themselves in their mir
rors! Yet in the photographers studio
most women are overcome with a sort
of-of camera fright? Then the pho
tographer takes advantage of these
poor women. He poses them as he
thinks they should be.
"If truly artistic photograph is to
be taken, a woman must insist upon
being just herself-her true self. She
must not be nervously conscious of
defects. She must be honest with her
self and brave enough to face the i'm
partial lens with all the spirituality
and honesty she is capable Of. She
must prepare for the ordeal, except
that it will not be an ordeal if she
can cooperate with the operator and
if the operator is sympathetic and in
telligent enough to cooperate with
her.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-12-20

Eral positions, the features are cor
'iected in the retouching, mouths are
|fOuged, double chins are removed, ears
made smaller, eyebrows heavier, and
the resh is that each woman's por-
Pratt p enbles those Of thousands of
oihe.s
Lydia LOpokova, the young Russian
tanseuse turned actress, who has
made a study Of personality photo
graphs reveals the secret Of her sue
tsssful pOrtraiture. In the first place
she seons the fashionable photOg-
npher, who, she declares, ais buried
nth nannerisms and whose talent
teens to consist in making all women
look alike"
TO Instead to one Of that ever in
''sssing number Of true artists of the
lens who are willing to experiment
ana play this game squarely with you.
Who are willing to accept a suggestion
Is well as to offer one, and who search
'0f the true individuality Of their
gbiscts.
when picture Of me is taken in a
ansing pose l find that I must per
'fn that dance and let the photog-
''pasr choose the most expressive mo-
Asn'-szpressive in the lights and
SHADOWS as well as in the movement
take the picture. Such a photo
s'apa must express graphically all
mat the dance contains. and all Of the
''''nality Of the dance. In mono
vac II must suggest all the light and
'ae color Of the setting"
''''o BE a Revelation of Character.
'nen remember that you want a
-''0sraph Of yourself, not Of your
gown or your new jewelry," she
s"n'd. "The fashion magazines are
w With photographs Of fashionable
wives But toilettes and coifeurs
~ and your photograph will not re-
interest and beauty II it is to be
49, record Of The styles Of a GER
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-12-20

by artist photographers should not re-
main so passive and plastic that they
are photographed as if they were Of
no more importance than the profess
sional model is to an artist.
Photography interests me because
all of us who were pupils in the I'M
perial Dancing Institute, in Petrograd,
were made to recognize the importance
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-12-20
ENTERTAINING THE YOUNG PATIENT

on his kiltie. The game retained its
interest as long as Teddy was housed.
Afterward, remembering the pleasure
this little shut-in got from the sound
of the postman's whistle, Teddy's
mother mailed packages to another
little sick boy, and just talking of the
pleasure he was receiving from open
ing the 10-cent Noah's Ark, with each
animal wrapped separately, compen-
stated Teddy for not being there to
open them himself.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-12-20

"EDD1'S case OF measles had Deen
much harder on the family than
on the young patient. The doc
tor said he must not be allowed to fret,
yet the resources OF the household
were exhausted by way Of furnishing
entertainment.
Then the postman solved the prob
lem. Through the mail came a me-
chanical toy from an aunt in another
city. The joy of receiving a package
through the mail outweighed Teddy's
pleasure in the red fire engine. When
the postman passed the next day with
no package for Teddy the little boy
fretted the entire morning.
His mother was cutting out pictures
for him.
Lets mail EN-" he begged; mail
em to me-"
The pictures were slipped into an
envelope and the address written.
Teddy licked the stamp and pasted 1t
on and his father mailed it. Then
followed the Joy of listening for the
postman's morning whistle. When the
envelope was laid beside him Teddy
opened il with interested fingers and
pleased eyes. OF course, it was only
the same paper horses that he and his
mother had the day before cut out,
but they were not the same. They had
been out into the world and all the
way back again.
On each Of the remaining days of
that trying week Teddy and his mother
prepared a package TO be sent through
the mail. One day il was discarded
dinner favor that took on a renewed
interest. again it was small silk for
eign flag, another day a half dozen
cream peppermints in tiny round box.
Teddy was content with the familiar
trifes about his nursery; the whole
fun Of it lay in pretending that the
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-12-20
Little Russian Actress
Danseuse Tells How
to Handle the Man
Behind the =.
Camera.

In the women folk Of the dead miners
is so much more tragic than the exag-
gerated grimaces Of some actress who
may never have experienced grief her.
self.
"But If you saw Mrs. Fiske In the
film version Of Tess you will remember
how restrained, yet how silently elo~
quent, she was in that scene where Tess
places the. flowers on her child's grave"
Displeased Gar by Leaving Imperial
Troupe.
Lydia Lopokova is making her debut
as a dramatic artist in comedy called
AUST Herself" at the Playhouse, under
the direction of Harrison Grey Fiske.
Il think am lucky to make my bow
as an American comedienne-yesI I
am a real American now. The Car Is
displeased because left the imperial
troupe" she explained. acting is an
art so different from dancing that l am
sure | would have failed il It had not
been for the sympathetic guidance OF
Dir. and Mrs. Fiske.
81 have been left free to express my
self, but in a different way. And 1
have not given up my dancing. But i
find it much more interesting to dance
in this comedy because Of the added
dramatic interest. Ny dancing in Just
Herself is not merely Incidental TO the
action. II is a part of it. I act and
dance at the same time.
"You remember Nora Helmer's taran-
teIla in The Dolls House? That is
dramatic dance that requires not only
great actress, but great dancer ss
we'll. Perhaps-who can say2-I may
have the opportunity Of trying it some
day.