The Washington herald., 1914-01-25
So ~ - NJ.
1y BRED 2. KELLY.

~ - B6AO q. kEL<Ays ~
!. yrisads q onster oflss James, q
ksatucky. our most huge 5tstesman. ~
that oG!s = - proud Of his ngurs - .
nFst thought. for ouis u fuilyl III ana
one-haif feet high and weighs about the
sarne - . horse. His Il not . feure
that adap<s Itself readily to the tanrotux
ana dshwaiking and Kindred vices Of
the present day, and yet ONES shape -
one to conture with politically. For .is
has distinction. 1t b not every ous whs
can be the most mammoth person IN
public ufs- Such figure gives one
person noticed In . crowd. No one win
. front, side and rear elevation Ike
Ollie's. could be nonentify. 30 Ollie 10
perfectly reconciled. He is more than
that. His shape suits him right to q 7,
and he II greatly IN favor OF II.
Senator william Alden Smith. of Grand
Rapids. Mich, was escorting . group Of
constituents through the White House.
The ofiicer In charge was giving the us
ual lecture as they proceeded through
the rooms. telling where different vases
and pieces Of furniture and tapestry
came from
When they had reach the Green
Room. Senator Smith listened to the
guides tale with especial interest and
then a look OF mingled solemnity and
chasrin o'erspread his features A mo-
ment later he was seen to call the guide
to one side and engage him in whis-
pered conversation
The guide then continued his talk and
remarked:
II have neglected to state, ladies and
gentlemen. that the three. tables and the
cabinet In the Green Room were all made
In Grand Rapids"
, Ever since then the reference to Grand
Rapids has been a regular and never
failing feature Of the guides remarks
Representative James r. Byrnes, Of
South Carolina. is certain that Represen-
tatiye Joseph W. Byrns. Of Tennessee, Is
about the most accommodating man in
Congress. IL not in the entire country.
You can see for yourself the similarity
Of the names. When Byrnes was nomi-
mated for Congress in South Carolina,
where the nomination on the Democratic
ticket is equivalent to being elected. sew
sumed that Byrnes was henceforth
member, and began to write to him.
making all manner Of requests.
All this mall went to Joe Byrns, OF
Tennessee. Byrns reads the papers, and
soon figured out what was the matter.
but did not have the heart to shove OF
Congressional duties on a man not yet
a Congressman He simply looked after
the correspondence himself. II q South
Carolina man wrote in for a horse book
or a document. Byrns. Of Tennessee. sup
piled II out of his own quota The South
Carolina folk passed many encomiums on
the promptness with which their Con-
Rressman caught on to his new ofacial
chores.
Joe Byrns used up tons OF good energy
looking after the correspondence Of the
man with the name like his before he
ever knew the man by sight
When Samuel ". Stewart was about
to be inaugurated governor of Mon
tana last year. he expressed the wish
that the inaugural ball be made thor
oughly democratic affair. The commit
tee assured him that the invitations
would be sent out in great numbers
and not limited to any particular set
But even that was not enough for
Stewart He said the very idea OF
sending out invitations at all was un-
He thought the proper
thing would be to put the invitation
in all the papers and model II after
the invitations issued by church ba-
zaars. They did so, and the invita-
There will be an inaugural pail al
the capitol Monday night All come
One of the grave questions confront
ing the present administration Is that
in regard to the matter OF precedence
of the Secretaries of Commerce and
Labor. Cabinet officeru always proceed
at social functions in the order In
which their department was created
r-g- - n
then the Secretary of the Treasury,
and so on. As the Departments of
Commerce and Labor were one until
divided by act of Congress few
months ago. no hostess knew whether
Mr.. Redfield or Mr.. Wilson should come
trailing in at the end Of the Cabinet
1t has been settled. how
ever, by somebody holding that the De-
partment Of Commerce comes hrst, be-
cause the word commerce came nrst
in the act that created the joint de-
partments. This makes 1t extremely
rough on Secretary Wilson, but he will
have to bear up.
The highest ranking member of Sena-
tor Chilton's famous knife club Is Will
lam ]. Bryan Chilton's club. you know.
is made up of persons to whom Chiffon
has presented pocket knives. Instead OF
handing out cigars or buying drinks ior
his friends, he gives each one a good
pocket knife and lets it go at that When
he got around to giving knife TO Will
lam ], Bryan, Chiffon. thinking OF the
old free-silver days. thought he would
play a neat little joke. So he gave Mr.
BRYAN an elaborate, gold-handled knife
costing SIS.
Secretary of Labor William b. Wilson
Is perhaps best remembered in the House
of Representatives in connection with the
remark he made in colloquy with ].
Hampton Moore.
Wilson. then n Congressman, was dis
cussing a bill he had in tow, and j.
Hampton passed various criticisms on it
pointinC out antiquities and other de-
fects in its phraseology.
This got on Wilson's nerves, and after
..Hampy'' had raised a point Of grammar
that seemed to Wilson trivial he jumped
nm and made one or two rather heated
comments with a strong WEIGH accent
"Ianguase," declared he. is intended
to convey thought II II does
that IL has served its purpose. For ex-
ample. IL were to say that there are a
lot of blamed fools In the world. that
vouId be good grammar. But IL I were to
say that there is a lot Of blamed fools in
the world that would be bad grammar.
Yet everybody here would know who
meant.
rcservedl