davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
SUDDEN MATRIMONY

From the Chicago News.
mony is reported from Bulawayo, South
Africa. There young couple presented
themselves one Saturday afternoon on the
magistrates tennis lawn and interrupted
the game by demanding to be married
The magistrate refused, declaring he
would not have his cnly holiday spoiled.
his office being closed for the day. The
lovers We're insstent; they said that they
weres trelSng at once to take possession
of farm 100 miles up country and must
be married before they set out. why
on earth,' said the magistrate, did you
not come to see me this morning. But,
please, sir. we only met at lunch for the
first time"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
ON ELECTION DAY
From Harper's Weekly.

From Harper's Weekly.
rs this the polling placer" asked Mrs
Siithers over the telephone to Bumoa
butcher shop. where the voting was so
ing on.
Yes, madam" replied the inspector.
We'll, I'm iIrs. Slithers of 81 Garrawa,
street. just wanted to tell you that i
Is raining so hard just now that 1 can
thlnk of going out, so will you pleas
cast one straight ticket for the progres
slve party for me? And while you ar
about it, ask Mr.. Bumos to send me vi
four pounds of liver. two pounds of chops
dozen fresh eggs and"
But-would you believe it?-that rud
politician actually hung up the receive
with a bang!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
PROGRESSIVE PLANS OUTLINED

From the San Francisco Bulletin.
paw stannard Baker thinks 1.-The west
is actually beginning to think first OF hui
man life, then of property" This, he adds,
SIS the very core and essence OF the
progressive momement."
Now, Ray Stannard Baker is not 'mak-
ing an attack upon property nor is the
progressive movement. He is trying, just
as the progressive movement is trying, to
make people see that the trimmings or
human existence-such as property really
is-are of far less importance than life
itself A human being wants food, shell
ter, clothing and a few other more or
less Indispensable things. All property
may be analysed into one of these three
fundamental classes.
The purpose of the things known as
property is to minister to the wants Oh
human beings. The function of business
men and manufacturers, and the men
who help them carry on their processes
is to make this possible That is what
business" is. Business. as now carried
on exists because it is, on the whole,
has vet been devised. Better ways are
sure to be found, because better ways
of doing everything sre always being
found. but for the present we are doing
it this way.
What the progressive movement, inside
and outside OF the progressive party,
seeks to do is to prevent men from mis-
using the functions of business. If a
financier, or a trust magnate, or anyone,
does more harm than good, some way
ought to be found to stop him. Punish
ment is one way, and altering the rules
of the game and the sentiment of the
majority of the players is another and
better one. >
And that, in a few words, is what the
progressive means when he himself thinks,
and tries to get others to think, first of
human life and then of property.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
A PERTINENT QUESTION
From the Randolph Star.

From the Randolph Star.
We are not taking any stock in the sem
atorial race, but it seems to us that if Mr.
Hobson is sincere in his stand on the
only plank in his platform that he could
accomplish more on the outside. He gives
as an excuse for being absent from his
post of duty that he was waging a cam
paign of education If he is sincere in
this matter why is it necessary for him
to be member of Congress or the Senate
to carry on this educational campaign?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
GREAT TRIALS OF HISTORY
DESPARD TRIAL OF 1903

project, the King would attend the for.
NAL opening of Parliament
In those days the royal procession as.
sembled in the park at the back of St
James palace and crossed the Mall on
It's way to St Stephens. Hence one of tlss
mad projects of these men was to get one
of the soldier conspirators to be selected
as sentry over the long Indian gun on
the Mall, and to load and fire it through
the crowd at the moment when the state
coach came within range.
Parliament, happily. was not ready and
the royal visit was in consequence post
consplrators were arrested and the mis-
cradle project was stifled in its cradle
In this conspiracy Colonel Despard was
the only man above the working classes
who apparently had a share. The Others
were soldiers and workmen.
Among them, from the very inception
was traitor, Thomas Windsor, soldier
in the guards, who revealed the secret OF
the conspiracy, and his evidence in turn
was sanctioned by William Francis and
Thomas Blades. These men gave the
government full information of plot
which was of the widest and most reck(
less character.
The trial of Despard and other leaders
in the conspiracy began on February Z,
1908. Spencer Perceval, the attorney gen
eral, was in charge of the case. Colone
Despard was tried separately, the charge
being comprising and intending the
Kings DEATH" Several persons testified
to Despard having said: His majesty
must be put to death, and the people
will be at liberty" He was also charged
with saying, ''he had weighed everything
well within him, and God may know, his
heart was callous; he would do it with has
own hand"
The trial of Despard lasted until
o'clock in the morning, and the followina
day all the other conspirators were tried
and found guilty. The execution of thu
sentence was deferred until Monday, the
21st, and in Difference to the improved
spirit of the age. the disgusting details
legally attendant on an execution for high
treason were omitted by royal command
and that of dragging the prisoners on
hurdles around the prison yard on thu
road to execution, and the subsequent del
capitation of the lifeless bodies, alone rel
tanned
Even on the scaffold Despard protested
entire innocence and declared that th}
minister knew that he was gultless. Coil
onel Despard's dying denial was not bel
lieved by the crowd who looked up n thd
other sufferers as his victims.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
AS 1T WAS REVEALED

From the Boston Cooking School Mag
azine.
DIR. Hale declared once that he had
had a special revelation. He was down
in Maine with an agreeable company
of fishermen. and he must needs leave
the trout brook in order to get to Bos-
ton in time to prepare his sermon. As
he thought of the old trout rod and the
new sermon, the revelation suddenly
came to him something like this: 1T
is far better to preach good old SER
mon than poor new one. Edward Ev-
erett Hale, stay where you are, and
go a-fishing,"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07

n ~ L VI Tue iOSl tACllluS VI lhO
English state trials of the nine
teenth century was that of
Colonel Despard and a party of conspir-
ators whose intention was, it was claimed,
to murder the King and revolutionize the
government. This occurred at the begin
ming of that century, and the conspiracy
seems to have spread all over the coun-
try, for the uprising against the govern
ment was not confined alone to London.
but to every section. There was a gen.
eral dissatisfaction not only throughout
the country, but there were evidences of
revolt in the army and navy over existing
conditions 1t was just a time when
conspiracy could easily be rooted in the
minds of people who felt that they
were being betrayed.
1t only required a clever and desperate
leader to raise and bring to maturity the
dangerous crop of disaffection that had
been sown everywhere. Such man was
apparently ready to hand in a brave and
meritorious officer, Colonel Despard, who
at the time was smarting under bitter
grievance and whose gallant deeds gave
him great and most dangerous influence
among the soldiers.
While soldering in the Spanish Main
he appears to have gotten into disputes
with the English there, and such serious
complaints of his conduct were sent home
that he was suspended and returned to
England to demand the fullest inquiry
into his conduct.
Irritated at his treatment he appears
to have taken violent part in politics.
For a part he took in the Irish rebellion
of 1898 he was arrested and committed to
Cold Bath Fields, Bridewell, where his
harsh treatment became the subject of an
mated discussions in both houses of Par
lament. From his first prison he was
transferred to the house of correction at
Shrewsbury and thence back to the
Bridewell in Tothill Fields, without even
being able to learn the particulars of the
charges against him, much less to OBJ
tain the verdict of a jury on their truth
or falsehood.
The conspiracy, on account of which
Despard met his death as traitor, was
hatched during the spring and summer OF
1902. and the time for its execution the
latter part of November The new Par
lament had lately met and the swearing
in of members had proceeded so rapidly
that IT was hoped that on November 16,
the day set for the carrying out of the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07

Custom receipts fell off $1,000 900 for
January under the new tariff. Such a
loss was anticipated by the trainers of
month, and while the January showing
Ia a little above the estimated average.
the increment from the income tax Will
mere than offset the deficit. We will not
hear from the latter until June, but when
it does make its appearance one will be
upon us.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07

arm. In the center of the disc ar,
standard ruby red switch lenses witt
an incandescent lamp of proper volta 6,
and candle power between them. Upor
the mechanism case is mounted ,
standard steel 12-inch gong. The Ma.
chanism which oscillates or "wigwags'
the disc is directly connected to a mo
tor by spur gears SO reduced as to op
crate at the rate of "a complete oscil
lations a minute. In electric railwa,
operation the apparatus is set to star
operating when the cars are at dis
tances varying from 500 to 1900 fee
from the crossing. The period of opera
tion should, of course, be determine ed
by the speed of the trains
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
BAGGAGE KNEW BETTER

From the Houston Chronicle.
AS the train was moving out of a
Scotch stariol a man in one of the COM
partmeits noticed that the porter in
whose charge he had given his lugga ge
had not put it into the van, and so he
shouted to him and said: Hi, you old
fool What do you mean by not putting
my luggage i'll the van?''
To which the porter replied: "Eh, mon,
yer luggage is ne'er such a fool as yer
sell. Yer l. the wrang train"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
AGE STATEMENT IN DETAIL

From the Boston Transcript.
Judge-What is your age, madam?
Witness = Twenty-seven and some
months.
judge want your exact age. please.
How many months.
Witness-One hundred and twenty.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
BEAUTY
By Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Then l said. II coyet truth:

BY Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Then l said, II covet truth;
Beauty is unripe childhood's cheat;
1 leave it behind with the games
youth
AS 1 spoke, beneath my feet
The ground pine curled its pretty wreat
Running over the club moss burrs;
inhaled the violet's breath;
Around me stood the oaks and frs;
Pine cones and acorns lay on the groun
Over me scared the eternal sky,
Full of light and of deity;
Again I saw, again I heard,
The rolling river, the morning bird
Beauty through my senses stole:
l yielded myself to the perfect whole.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07

The Durham Herald says: "If the legis-
lature would pass a law holding the owner
of a building In which a blind tiger is
located equally guilty with the seller it
would reach some of the bigger ones"
This is a trlfle ambiguous as 1t leaves
the reader in doubt whether such legis-
building or owner.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
DIR. EIwood's story

"The patrioic service to be held at
the jefferson theatre Sunday after
noon at o'clock and to be addressed
by DR.. Robert A. E1wood, the famous
pastor of the Boardwalk church, At
lantic City, is attracting considera BILE
attention among the men of the city,"
said a man interested in religious af-
fairs. "Dr. Elwood will speak on the
subject: Under Three Flags which is
cne of his best
Few men have visited Birmingham
lasting impression upon the men than
pr. Elwood did last November. He is
unquestionably one of the most bril-
liant lecturers of the nation and a
speaker of remarkable ability. Judge
Ben b. Lindsey of Denver, Co.. says of
him: For dramatic power, fervor, elo-
quence. entertainment, interest and in
struction, DR.. Elwood is the peer of
any man on the platform today The
Tribune. South Bend, Ind, says: DIR.
Elwood's address fairly teens with
brlliancy. His oratory is of that Wig
orous type which thrills and en-
thuses.'
This meeting is held under the aus
pices of the Young Mems Christian as
sociation. The doors will be opened
promptly at 2:30 and the meeting be-
gins at o'clock. An attractive mu-
steal programme has been arranged
for this occasion and the meeting is
free to the men OF Birmingham"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
ETOwAH FOR UNDERWOOD
From the Greenville Living Truth.

FTUfII tIle GTteIIVIIIe I1TNIIIS IT utII'
After pretty fair poll we feel safe in
assuring our friends that Etowah county
is going to roll up u handsome majority
for Oscar Underwood, the great leader
of the democratic party. The most en-
couragng news comes from every voting
precinct. The people have learned the
truth and their verdict Is about made up.
1t will be fiattering to the champion of
the cnle.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
BEGINNING THE DAY-Give me

BEGINNING THE DAY-Give me
TO yaIue the power of speech,
Lord, as some royal gift. Thou hast
conferred 1t and polished II through
the ages for Thy chosen. Help me
TO use Ii for purposes of light ana
love, Guard Thou my lips, and bid
back the uncIean, The unkind, the
unboIy. In Christ's name. Amen.-
II. VI. T..
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
Labor Department. Good Showing

Unquestionably no national depart
ment has so lived up to the purposes
for which it was created or effected
such benefits to both the laboring
\and money classes as has the depart
Aent of labor. It's first annual report,
Just issued, should bring much of the
comfort found in the Good Book" to
the wage earners and toilers of the
land.
The act which created the new de-
partment declared that it's creation
was to foster, promote and develop
the welfare of the wage earners of the
United States; to improve their work.
ing conditions and to advance their op-
portunities for profitable employ
ment."
The idea of the department is not
to accord the working man any spe-
cial privileges but to see that he OBJ
tains his own and that he is not op-
pressed nor denied opportunities for
betterment and advancement. This it
has unqualifiedly done during the first
year of its existence.
1t has been especially prominent and
successful in settling labor disputes
and thus bringing capital and labor to
a better understanding OF one another.
1t can number among its achievements
the settlement of the difficulties be-
tween the New York. New Haven and
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07

MeclS!enburg farmer has sued five
merchants of Charlotte for $4,000 because
they had painted signs on a milepost
causing his horse to take fright, run
away and injure his wife.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07

The First Baptist church of Brewton
has asked the police of that town to stop
the tango. The question is would the
3rewton police know tango when they
saw one?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
NEW GRADE CROSSING WARNING

FfOm the W OrIds WOrk.
That motion, added to illumination
and sound. is of great Importance in
drawing attention to grade crossing
danger is being demonstrated in the
operation of an oscillating signal that
is being used most extensively in Cali
fornia, where, in many places, it IS dis
placing gates and fiagmen.
1t consists of a round steel disc,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07

The Mexican band of music which head
Brownsville last Thursday probably
played I'VE don't care if you never come
back"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07

ing the soft answer to any commun-
ity or set of men when they undertake
to slide a dagger into the ribs of BIZ
mingham. Let's up and after en-.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
NOT A MACADAM.

Mr.. Hayseed: 81 see that another one
of them automobiles has turned turtle.'
Mrs Hayseed: Funny how so many
of them turtles will get In the road, aint
itY'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07

Last year the United States smoked
cigarettes. If an amount of money equal
to that represented in the values which
thus went up in smoke had been involved
in some catastrophe, what a lamentation
would have gone up from the people all
over the country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07

l1uerta depended upon the embargo upon
arms. but judging from the manner in
which his troops run away from the
rebels an embargo upon legs would prob
ably assist his cause much more effec-
lively
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
A NEW ONE
From the ST.
Sd. Joseph News Press.

From the st. Joseph News Press.
Lady: "Why don't you go to work ?"
Hobo: I'm an honest man. mum, an
can't find any business that isn't full
graft
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
TROUBADOUR AND JESTER
sAucY WITH THE GIRLS.

III
He always was quite short of breath
And in the habit got he
OF speaking of Charlotte, n, c.
BY simply saying Lottie.
And when he spoke of other towns.
Especially when busy,
By him Elizabeth n. J..
Was referred to as Lizzy.
WATER ON THE BRAIN.
L thought of buying an auto:
/ live near Germania Park.
But since the downpour of Thursday
thlnk I'll purchase an ark.
NOT SO GREEN.
Wag: did you ever set a hen on a lot
of egg plants?"
Country Boy: mo, but I once had a
rooster that wanted to set and I tried
him.
Wag: What did you get?e
Country Boy: "A lot of crocuses.n
NO HoODOo FOR HIM.
Mexican Diplomat: 'Habla EspagnolY'
John Lind with his fngers): o.
XIIX-O)C.
Mexican Diplomat: 81 said can't you
speak English2'
John Lind (as before): )(o-X II X-o)C.
Mexican Diplomat: You can't mesmer.
ize me- Good day, sir
APOLOGIES TO 30 o.PEEP.
j. Ham Lewis is back again
And for the sake of rhythm
We must say we know that he
Has brought his wliiskers with him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07

If the seat of war in Mexico continues
It's rapid shifting. Huerta will soon need
a new pair of trousers. Maybe ex-Presi-
dent Taft could help him out In such
dilemma.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07

The stork has brought to the Mexican
refugees at Fort Bliss so little brown
babies and Uncle Sam is now busy rock
ing the cradle and pouring out paregoric.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
SUB ROSA.
SPOKE TOO LOUD.

Husband: II see that the President has
raised the embargo on arms"
Wife: Suppose you do the same thing
and hold the baby awhile"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
THE DIFFERENCE.

Some folks have runabout
Enjoy it. too, beyond doubt,
Others have a limousine
Spend all they have for gasoline.
Still others have a landauIet
From which much pleasure they must get.
My car is plain flve-center
Called coupe-as-you-enter.
H. B. c. in Courier-Journal
Some folks have a runabout
Which makes them highbrows while
they're out
Others have limousine
In which they ride as king and queen:
Still others have landaulet
Which used in rain will get you wet
My car is but a rattle-trap
In which I hang oil to the strap
WE LEAD.
Fair Montgomery surely must
Initiate us or burst.
Shes going to have Grounhog Day
Down there on March the First
SUB ROSA.
That modern women are not shaped
AT all like handsome Venus
A Battle Creek doctor has said;
But this is just between us.
SPOKE TOO LOUD.
Husband: II see that the President has
raised the embargo on arms
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
Wants Birmingham to Fight Back

The action of Montgomery in sup
porting Atlanta for a regional bank
has stirred Birmingham considerably
Schuyler II. Floyd, who has just re-
turned from "A trip in south Alabama
said that Montgomery action had
caused criticism, in all parts of the
state where he visited.
81 think the action childish. said
Mr. Floyd. Il am opposed hereafter of
being polite in matters of this kind
If Montgomery wants to fight Birming-
ham 1 think we should fight back
"Birmin CHAM has been far too lem
lent in matters of this kind. We have
not enough ginger among our people
1t is time that something is being done
propose hereafter to take more in
terest and action in the Chamber of
Commerce and to strive with all my
power to get Birmingham her just de-
serts We all have been too busy with
cur own affairs and paying too little
attention to the broad policy of build
ing a city wherein our hope for the
future lies.
1--WE should not have lost the re-
Gently established bureau of the in
terstate commerce commission. We
have lost other propositions that cam
not be excused and it is all our own
given by Montgomery must be aiken
up and we must let the world under
stand that We have some mettle in our
makeup
Il am unalterably opposed to turn
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
WATER ON THE BRAIN

thought OF buying an auto;
l live near Germania Park;
Dul since the downpour of Thursday
l think I'll purchase an ark.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07

NE of the most exciting of the
English state trials of the nine
teenth century was that of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-07
WE LEAD.

Fair Montgomery surely must
Initiate us or burst.
Shes going to have Grounhog Day
Down there on March the First.
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1914-03-10
WEEKLY COTTON REVIEW

New York, March 6-The cotton market
mas peeh unsettled during the past week.
but after making new low records for
the eason, steadied on covering and re
ports or a better spot demand. The de
noralzatior of wire and transportation
facilities by. the storm, doubtless restrict
ca genera business and trading has been
largely In the way of switching from
month to month or on straddles between
mere and Liverpool. Since the stopping
OF notices by leading spot interests. the
March premium has increased but 40
points or more over May. these same
interests have been moderate sellers
against purchases of the later months,
While 1t Is also ruHored that at 40 points
under Liverpool old straddles short Il
May here against purchases abroad, have
been reduced.
Reports that foreign growths are of
fered at unusual discounts under Ameri
can. evidently inspired some traders with
expectations OF increasing substitutions
and the talk around the ring has reflected
continued confusion of opinion as to thu
merits OF the old crop position slowin,
largely to the apparent scarcity Of higl
grades resulting from the character Of tn,
American crop and increased yields abroad
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1914-03-10
WEEKLY COTTON REVIEW.

New orleans, La, March 7-weekly
Cotton fell to new low levels
for the season this week under selling
inspired by the larger movement bearish
talk regarding ginning, the Mexican sit
uation and unsettled conditions in the
stock market. The net results was a
net loss Of II to y points.
The high prices Of the week were made
on Monday and the low prices on Satur-
day. At the highest the trading months
we're / point up TO , points down. com
pared with the close Of last week at the
lowest they We're Il to - points down.
The range was p to % points.
The main sustaining Influences We're
were the large exports. Il somewhat better
inquiry for spots in the South and Il dis
position t. regard consumption rs being
on a record breaking basis. The bull
side. however, WAS apathetic and this
apathy was Il great help to the hears.
Much liquidation came from nervous longs.
especially after dispatches from Washing
ton told Of 4 new Investigation Of cotton
future trading being contemplated.
In the spot department., prices lost on"
quarter of Il cent. middling closing at 13&4
against Il cents last Week and 1-l2 cents
this week. Sales to arrive amounted T.
300 bales against 2.297 last week. and
2.339 this week last year.