The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-03

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cupied four chairs, us one or the finest
towns in the world"
II presume that you have seen the
sights of the metropolis" said the
New Yorker. -Four days Is not a
sufficient length of time in which to
view even our most salient points OF
Interest, but one en- possibly form 4
general impression. Our architectural
supremacy is what generally strikes
visitors TO our city most rOrcibv. OF
course you have seen orr FlntIron
building. 1t is considered
Saw it." said the man from Topaz
City. But you ought TO enc out our
way. It's mountainous. you know,
md the ladies all wear short skirts for
climbing and
Excuse me-" said the New Yorker
but that isn't exactly the point. New
York must be wonderful revelation
to visitor from the west. Now, as to
our hotels
Say" said the man from Topaz
City, that reminds me-there were
sixteen stage robbers shot last year
, within twenty miles Of .-r.3~
. II was speaking OF hotels" said the
New Yorker I'VE lead Europe in that
respect. And as far us our leisure
class Is concerned we are far
"Oh. don't know" interrupted the
man from Topaz City. There were
twelve tramps In our jail when left
home. guess New York isn't So
Beg pardon, you seem to misnppre-
lend the idea. or course, you visited
the stock exchange and Wall street,
where the
"Oh, yes" said the man from Topaz
City. as he lighted Il Pennsylvania
stogic. land l want to tell You that
we've got the finest town marshal west
OF the Rockies. Bill Iiainer he took in
five pickpockets ont OF the crowd
when Red Nose. Thompson laid the
cornerstone Of his new saloon. Topaz
City don't allow
Have anotheE Rhine wine and self.
ger" suggested the New Yorker. I've
never been west. ms I said. but there
caribbean placelout there to compare
With New York. AS to the claims of
\ .
One man, aIa the zTopazLtee7-5 one.
man only has een murdered and rob.
bed IN Topaz CITY IN thelast three
"Oh. .Tknow what Chicago Is" inter
posed the New Yorker. Have you
been up. Fifth avenue to see the mag
observation-disclosures Of our mill
Seen .em alIs You ought to know
Eeub Stcgall. the assessor Of Topaz.
When old manJTilbury. that owns the
only two story House in. town, tried to
swear his taxes, from $4,000 down to
$45O.7J. Reub buckled on his 45 and
went down to see
Yes. yes: but speaking OF our great
city-one Of its greatest features is our
superb police department., There Is no
body Of men in the world that can
equal it for
THAT waiter gets around like n
Langley flying machine" remarked the
man from Topaz City thirstily. We've
got men in our town, too. worth $780,
600. There's old Bill Withers and Colo.
mel Metcalf and"-
"Have you seen Broadway at night"
Iasked the New Yorker courteously.
I"There are few streets in the world
that can compare with it. When the
clectrics are shining and the pavements
are alive with two hurrying streams of
elegantly clothed men and beautiful
women attired In the coStliest costumes
that wind in and out in close maze Of
cxpensively"-
Never knew but one case in Topaz
City" said the man from the west.
Jim Bailey. our mayor, had his watch
and chain and $o35 in cash taken from
his pocket while
That's another matter" said the
New Yorker. while you are In our
city you should avail yourself of every
opportunity to see its wonders. Our
rapid transit system
IF YOU was out in Topaz" broke in
the man from there, 81 could 81 wv you
a whole cemetery full of people that
got killed accidentally. Talking about
mlngling folks up! Why. when Berry
Rogers turned loose that old double
barrrletl shotgun OF his loaded with
sIugs at anybody
Here. waiter" called the New York
or. 1.-Two more of the same. 1t Is ac-
knowlcdged by every one tIlat our CITY
is the center of art and literature and
learning. Take, for instance. our after
dinner speakers. Where else In the
country would you find such wit and
eloduence as emanate from Depew and
Ford and
IF you take the papers" interrupted
the westerner. you must have read OF
Pete Websters daughter. The Web.
sters live two blocks north of the court
house IN Topaz City. Miss Tillle Web.
ster. she slept forty days and nights
without waking up. The doctors said
that
pass the matches. please" said the
New Yorker. Have YOU observed the
cxpedltion with which new buildings
are being run up in New York? In
proycd inventions in steel framework
and
| "J rot,cpd." sAid the SevaIilan. "that