The Washington herald., 1914-08-09
DER GERMAN COBBLER

| "she vhas der best in der world" says
der man ash he comes opp. You can
put some onions ind milk in dot box
together, und dey shan't shmell OF each
odder. He vhas brass hinges outside
und der Arctic oceon inside, und your
ice bill vhas only 10 cents a week. II
you vhant a bargain. here she vhas,
knock der price down from SO to $3.50 to
| close out"
"vhen: maybe I like to buy fifteen
refrigerators,' says l.
''Feefteen! Den dot price vhas re-
duced to $40 apiece. Was you building
feefteen new fats?''
"Oh, no; I vhas der German cobbler
you know. und 1 vhas looking around a
! leetle. II you do pessness nit me. l
! shall meet you. l can put some new
soles on your shoes for 60 cents"
| But do you vhant some refrigerators
today"
DO you like some Of my Ruby cement
patches or pearl soles on your shoes?''
He don't answer me. He takes me
by der arm und leads me TO der door.
und pooty queek 1 vhas oudt. I be-
lief had better go home und dot little
tailor vhas all wrong. but I finally make
oop mu mind to try again. goes by
an undertaken shop, und he meets me at
der door and looks sad und says:
My frendt, walk right in. I vhas
sorry for you, but death must come to
all. When we belief we vhas in life, we
vhas dead. Was dot loved und lost one
your wife?"
Not today" says.
Den it vhas a noble son or a loving
daughter"
Il don't hat some
''VheIl, whom hath death snatched
from your grief-stricken fireside?'
''Nopody. shust look around a leetIe
in a peesness vhay. l vhas a cobbler
II you shall get your work done by me I
shall buy collins Of you. How much vhas
it if 1 buy ten at one time?"
lind do you come in here to insult
me-" says dot undertaken as he gets
mad.
my cobbling shop. can put some lifts or
your heels for so cents. und If you vhas
bowlegged I can"
Go oudt by dot door" he yells at me.
und I belief, I don't be oudt in one
minute he Will boot me-"
1t looks TO me as if dot tailor fools
me. and I vhas going home when I
meets a real estate Office und belief I
shall try once more. Dot man he has
ten houses for sale und twenty TO rent,
und I says to him:
Maybe you like to sell house for
$40 OOC."
y shall sell you a palace for dot" he
says as he shakes hands DO you like n
house on a hill nit forty rooms uni
basement
Il belief do
How mooch you like to pay down.
Il can't say. I like to talk peesness init
you. If you come by my Cobbler shop
for repairs I shall buy my house und lots
from you. Do you like cement patches
on a shoe. or shall l sew him on?"
Il will put some patches on you If you
don't so out" he shouts. und he cont
let me shpeak to him again before vhas
on der sidewalk
I goes home und takes of my Sunday
clothes. und pooty queek dot little tailor
comes in und says:
''VheIl. Hans. vhas he all right? Do
you scare opp some peesness?"
| l tells him how II vhas by pianos und
refrigerators und undertakers und rea!
estate, und he looks solemn Und shakes
his head und says:
Something's vhas wrong, Handsome
things vhas wrong. l belief you shall get
a t'ousand dollars worth OF peesness, but
you dor't get a cent"
But how shall l do now?'
Il guess you shall keep quiet und shtay
by der shop. l see now 1t vhas deterrent.
You don't lCok some peesness about yuu
for alGermans or hat pull by der po'eee
force. l vhas sorry for you, Hans, but
we cart ell be some little tailors IND
clean und press suits for seventy-fVe
cents und be in der shwim."