davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
WHY TEACHERS AGE EARLY
Fearful and Wonderful Excuses Given
for Occasional N~onattendance of
Their Pupils. Y

While the law of the land compels
children to attend school up to a GER
tain age, there is no law that makes
it obligatory for them to be present
at every session. They may be "ex
cused' on the written request of par
ents, and we herewith present some
of these reasonable excuses
"Dier Miss Blank; Sadie had a
pane in her left hart and could not
come yesterday. If it goes to cuttin'
up today, plese let her went home
and oblidge
Mrs. B. P. G."
Kind Friend: Kindly excuse James
for lateness. I kneaded him after
breakfast"
Deere Miss H.; Willy was not
thare yesterday becaws he had to
have his shoes h~alf-souled, They was
so holey his feet got wet and I was
afraid he would get tonsilightous, His
k~onstitushion amt of the best, 1t
is some Hereditary on his pas side
him being pulling. So excoose."-New
York Evening Post.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
Personality and Clothes.

If dress is to express a personality,
as 1t should. surely 1t is against all
that is best in one to spread out ones
feelings for any stranger to criticize!
Women who dress to attract notice
in the streeti are like women who tnlk
loudly in tearooms about the affairs
Of their friends and themselves Won
On who wear ~hieh-heeled buckled shoes
On a country walk are like women
who try TO be brilliant at breakfast,
and women who bare their necks and
shoulders. ankles and calves, with no
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14

made a spectacle Of himself by calling out foolish statements. AS the Judge
would have to take action, / rose and told the Judge that he could see for
himself that my client was not a responsible person; SO the case was none
pressed and Reaves told to go and sin no more
Several years later when / was the prosecuting attorney, / found that
Reayes had been up to his old tricks and was in court for trial n another
violation Of the revenue laws. When he took the stand l asked him the fol-
lowing questions: st&&M
"'You have frequently been indicted for this ofenseT
"You ought to know, replied Reaves. You were my lawyer
@ You were once indicted In the United States court, were you notY /
asked. A E4@
me on
Yes 1 returned, but did you not go in court and play the fool to get
out Of trouble? 1
"'No. sir, said Reaves, quickly. AS for playing the fool. It was you, sir.
did that" *M t 6E Ns
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14

Helm, representative from Alabama
and story teller in chief to the house,
has started out loyalty to upset tradi-
ton. He has taken to telling two sto-
ries instead of n in the time men
toned. Here are two samples Mr..
Hefin recently interjected into de-
bate:
"a fellow had lost an eye, and he
said to the surgeon, Doc, l have just
naturally got to have another eye, and
don't want any glass eye. l want a
flesh eve The doctor replied. L can
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14

he was a big boy Of eleven, and as
his father was in the army, and doz-
ems Of friends and relatives had gone
forth to battle against the dreaded
"Yank," John Sharp one night decided
that his country called him to arms.
The fact that he was only eleven, and
about TIE only road he knew was that
to the candy shop, did not deter him.
Out In the darkness Of the night the
cali Of his country sounded as loud
as the dinner horn to hungry hands
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
fancy County to Be Developed.

jefferson City.An order was made
by the public service commission
granting permission to the Ozark Wa
ter and Power company of Forsythe,
fancy county, to issue $4,000 600
bonds.
The application for authority was
heard by the commission several days
ago. Experts Of the commission who
have been engaged in making a physi-
cal valuation of the property fixed its
present value at $2,200,0O0.
The company built the great dam on
the White river, above Forsythe, and
from it distributes electric current to
Springfield, Joplin and a number of
other southwest Missouri cities.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14

SO young Williams arose and set forth down the road in the early dawn
And as he tramped down the lanes Of dust past the still farmhouses over
which hung the early smoke from the kitchen chimney, he dreamed dreams
OF how he would come back on a prancing charger covered with glory, gore
and gold lace Then suddenly behind him he heard the loe OF an approach
ling Eorsemans Looking back, he saw It was old Uncle zeph on the blind
mule Uncle zeph pulled up the mule with Jerk beside his young master
John, your nav says as how you better be githn back home IN a hurry
She amt er gMn ter stand fur no SIGH COINS oniH exploded zeph. "You jest
tim up here hind me on dis mule and he'll tote us home ter breahmst!y
SO John climbed aboard the mule and turned his face homeward, loavine
In the ashes Of a dead past his high hopes of military glory.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
With an Ak.

George B. Links, the profound humor
of whose painting has given him a
high place in the world Of art, was
visiting a "futurlst" exhibition in New
York.
Mr.. Luks paused before a picture
which resembled an earthquake,
though it was entitled Portrait Of a
Sleeping Babe" and, with a smile and
a shake of the head, he said:
How / wish sometimes | was a
suffragette!"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
peculiar Choice Of ! Pet.

Tho old~fashioned boy who brought
mice, toads and snakes to school in
his pocket, is now backed completely
off the board BY a wichita man. He
appeared at the general delivery win
dow in the p~ostoffice the other day
for his mail and IN his arras was rest
ing a docile pet skunk.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14

defend him. AS he was regarded as a
weak,minded man, the judges were
disposed to be lenient, though the evil
dence was conclusive as to his guilt.
Il told Reaves that he must act
as foolish as he could in order to help
his case SO OF the day the case was
tried Reaves appeared in court-it
was a roasting summer day-wearing
a heavy overcoat buttoned up to his
throat.
When the court was opened by
the marshal Reaves jumped up and
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14

The coyyeyance to which he was htched-a box o wheels 1914 model
was crowded with sections of six small boys whose legs were dangling out
side They urged and beseeched cajoled, threatened and whacked, but the
goat calmly ehewed his gum and stayed put First one boy and then another
and then the whole bunch would hop out of the wagon" shove 1t against
the goat and then hop back, under the deiusion that they had prevailed on
Billy to get a move on him. But he might have been a book sign for all the
motion ne made. A small terrier perpetual motion breed, helped out by
jumping on the goat and barking at the general situation, but he might just
as we'll have been cured upon a rug at home for all the DIFF 1t made to Billy.
There's never any telling what goes on under the horns Of a billy goat
in the brains we don't concede him. t@e H#453 kf8 tt@ ri i,
Perhaps he had a bunch that his one best way to get rid of hauling SIX
boys was to refuse to haul one. So he stood and stood and stood, unti-
1.-The composite banker, broker, corporation lawyer and early bird capital
ist canned in his nifty machine had blocked the asphalt, and the street was
ffnged with mere everyday humans who will have to walk until they acquire
wings No reference whatever to airships. Then a blue cloth guardian Of
the law breezed into the foreground and
Got his goat.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
Blow to Scientist.

Professor Beanbrough was jubilant.
"Ah, hal" he cried, as he rested on
his shovel. Look what we have I'M
earthed! l believe we have discov-
cred the remains of some herbivorous
amphibian of the order of pleasio-
sauri!"
Farmer Sodbuster took a good look.
Nope, you're wrong, prof." he said.
''Them bones belonged to a hog I
buried here two years ago last fall"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14

The plated tulle frill is smart for
evening wear and often serves as q
hat. for 1t Is impossible 10 detect at q
distance the absence OF q crown. This
frill encircles the head. being higher
at The back or side.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14

discrimination and at all hours of the
day and evening, make one think OF a
famous epigram which says: Women
nowadays seem TO furnish their rooms
with orchids, foreigners and French
Dovels."
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
N. 8. ~. orator Memorial Sneaker,

STANDARDIZATION H. Hughes Of
st. Louis, state manager Of the Wood.
men Of the World, was invited to give
the principal address at the joint me.
mortal exercises Of Springfield fra,
ternal orders.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
Protnntinn for Canary.

Canaries kept in cages are apt to
get a minute red insect in the feath.
ers, especially under the wings; When
such is the case, the bird should have
a little insect powder s~prinkled under
the wing and the cage should be scald-
ed out and dried thoroughly In the
sun, or before the fire. A small bag
Of sulphur should be hung up inside
the top Of the cage.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
HuntsviiIe Bacoa,aureate May II

Huntsville Rev. DR.. Frank W.. Al
len of Paris. Mo-, has accepted the
invitation Of the board Of education
to preach the baccalaureate sermon to
the high school class Sunday night,
May II.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14

along one edge, with the lower points,
under the arms, sewed together. There
is a girdle Of twisted ribbon about the
waist, ending in a bow at the front
where the jacket fastens with a hook
and eye.
The lovely little cap appears to be
only a square Of fine linen lawn or
mousseline edged with a very wide
val lace. The lace is draped back ovef
the face and tackled to place. Plaita
are laid in the muslin at the sides aid
back to shape it to the head, and mar
row satin ribbon with little ribbon
flowers drawn over the cap about the
head.
The small group Of flowers at the
left side is mounted over long, hang
ing loops and ends of ribbon. finishing
the decoration Of this bewitching
morning dress.
JULIA BoTToMLEY.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
MoberIy High to Graduate Fifty-Two.
Moberly.-Fifty-two will receive
diplomas at the commencement of the
Moberly High School, May 20.
ounwoody Out for Senate,

Cartage.--J. F. Dunwoody Of Jasper
county announced his candidacy for
the Progressive nomination for United
States senator. -
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
opportune phlIanthropY.

Jonas--You know, Silas, it is our
duty to look out for those who come
after us.
silas-Especially when it's the
sheriff.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
How a North Carolina Moonshiner Won His Case

D REPRESENTATIVE E.. PoU Of North Carolina tells a good one n him
~ self. He says: In my home county was a nan by the name of Reaves,
who was indicted for a violation of the revenue laws and retainad m to
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14

my sides which the
doctors said were
caused by infiamma-
ton. l suffered a
great deal every
month andgrew very
thin. Twas under the
doctors care for two
long years without
any benefit. Finally
after repeated sug-
gestions to try it we
got Lydia E. Pink
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
Why John Sharp Williams Never Joined the Army

G ENAToR JOHN SHARP WILLIAMS was never in the Confederate army.
y But the fault is not his. He started with the best intentions, as well as
with a knapsack filled with a good lunch. The war was at its height when
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
Call. Him the Story Teller in Chief to the House

ONE funny story in one tenminute speech, by all tradition. unwriten rules
~ and precedent of the house of representatives, is amply sufficient. But
since this Administration has set its face AGAINST following precedent. Tom
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
shoe Workers at Columbia strike.

Columbia-About As employees at
the plant Of the Hamilton, Brown
Shoe Company here ire on strike.
Trouble is said to have arisen over
the discharge Of an employe. The
plant is an open shop.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14

isn't an everyday affair, here goes:
Scene, Massachusetts venue as
1t enters Scott circle. Hour, about
9;15, when bankers, brokers. corpora
ton lawyers and capitalists of early
bird habits were whizzing downtown
in their limousines, touring cars and
what not-which means any vehicle
above a street car-until they came
to the goat.
He was on the wrong side Of the
street And he wouldn't nudge.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
hannibal Wants I. 8. Q. \. Meeting.

Hannibal Wants I. o. o. T. Meeting.
Hannibal.-This town is working to
obtain the 1915 session of the grand
lodge Of the Independent Order Odd
Fellows. The grand lodge will meet
in Carthage, May 10.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
after SUFFERING
TWO LONG YEARS
Mrs. Aselin Was Restored to
Health by Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable
Compound.

Minneapolis, Minn.-"After my little
n was born | was sick with pains in
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
Use Moderation.

Few people do business well who
do nothing Dissatisfaction.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
n. 6. N. chanaes Announced.

jefferson City.-Special orders No.
10, issued by Adj. Gen. John B,
O'Meara notes changes. in the rank
and file Of the National Guard Of Mis-
souri,, through resignation and other
wise. ,a.
Resignation of the following com
missioned officers have been accepted,
effective May 5:
First Lieut.. Lester Hawkins of Com
pany E, Second Regiment; Second
Lieut.. Addison V. Thurmond, Battal-
ion Quartermaster and Commits
sary, Third Regiment, and First Lieut..
Thomas w. Foster, Medical Reserve
Corps.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
Great Excitement, But the Goat Was Serene

WAsHINGToN-This is about a lawyer and a goat Not the lawyers goat
w but q real Billy that belonged to a boy. All the lawyer had to do with
It was to tell what happened to show the serenity of a goat when subjected
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-05-14
..slen4 sstiinu m Missouri.

Jefferson City.-Faets and figures
On the influx of immigrant aliens into
Missouri during IS months ending
Feb. l. 1914. and on declarations Of
aliens. anxious to become citizens and
the final naturalization Of other aliens
during the year 1913, constitute the
contents of a statistical bulletin given
publicity by Commissioner John T.
Fitzpatrick Of the bureau of labor sta
tistics.
Information the bureau OF labor sta
tisties has indicates that immigrant
aliens coming into Missouri. as is the
case in other states in recent years.
are not making their first declaration
of intentions of becoming citizens as
rapidly as the influx did 10 years ago.
and that applications for final papers
are also not as in proper.
ton as formerly. This condition is at
tributed to a decided change in ma
tionality, education and intelligence
Of the aliens who are coming in, there
being a decrease of those from Eng
land, Ireland, Scotland, Germany,
France, Switzerland, North Italy, Swe-
den, Norway. Denmark, Austria and
n or two other countries of North
Europe, and an increase of those from
South Europe. i
In 10 months, covering a period
commencing June 30, 1912, and ending
Feb. L, 1914, 10000 immigrants, men,
women and children, entered ports of
the. United States with Missouri as
their direct destination. OF this num-
Der 1864 came in during the fiscal
year ending June 20, 1918, and 1926
men, women and children during the
six months from July /, 1918, to Jan.
i, 1914, In the month of January, 1914;
the influx was 500.
For the 1918 IL months in eight fed
eral courts in Missouri and 80 state
courts 2,494 male aliens, over 81, flied
their Intentions Of becoming citizens
and 1,4O1 filed petitions for final nat
u~raIization. Combined, these two
forces represent 1896 Aliens
According to figures Of Supervisor
of Statistics A. T. Edmonston of the
bureau Of labor statistics, in eight
years 104, 500 immigrants have entered
United States seaports with Missouri
as their direct destination. When
averaged this influx amounts to 1905
a year, of which one-third are women
and children, a class of aliens not sub.
iect to citizenship. .e
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1914-01-16
Telephone Operators Also Join
in Brave Work of Saving
Lives in Valley of the
Potomac.
FROZEN sPILLWAY
MADE DAM BURST
Hundreds of Refugees Return
to Homes; Damage by Inun-
dation Placed at Half Mil
lion Dollars.

my Leased Wire to Evening Herald. ]
Cumberland. Md. Jan. l6.--Reas-
.sUrcd that the worst of the flood
which swept down the stony Greek
and Upper Potomac valleys yester-
day as a result OF the breaking of
the great dam az Dobbin. w. Va. Is
over, hundreds uf refugees who fled
to the hills ON the first warning be-
san tD return 60 their homes. Al
though thousands of persons were
impcrillcd. no lives were lost SO far
aA known There were. however.
reports of many thrilling rescuos
--latest news today from small
towns between here and Schell, oigh-
teen miles from the dam, says the
waters are rapidly recedins There Is
as yct no communication between
Schrl aud the dam and h has not
been definitely established whether
amy lives were lost In that section.
More than SfO0.0OO worth Of logs
belonging Go the West virginia Pulp
and Paper company were lost and
r"urh oF.imates place the damage 90
property In the valley nc 100000,
Numerous stories Of .horoism are
hernning 90 tyicklc IN. ono horse
mfu gaiioped from the dam 10 ilar.
riann ans warmed hundreds 20 peel,
safety, When the water and zee
tamc INTO tho Buline Telephone sta
don the operator Miss Ada O'Don.
neiL remained "a her switchboard.
sopdng ont warnings The girl OPP
orators at Piedmont saved meny
luves o. their bravery and presence
off mind. There was an eight-foot
rise Boz the Cumberland fiyor during
thc night but 60 was falling today
Au examination of Che wrecked
dam today showed that tho fopnda.
iion was intact and that only t25
feet of the supcrstructuro went out
The breast of the dam was 1875
ieet loug There we're three dif-
fcrent breaks. the dam washing
laway iu SECTIONS which lessoncd the
force of the flood. Tho disaster wns
not duo to any faulty construction
! it wus asserted, hut 90 the fact that
tho t2a foot spillwoy was frozen
over and tho locks frozen mp
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1914-01-16
GENERAL YNEH SAINzAR
ARRESTED IN TEX NS

Candsrs0n Tex. Jan 0-Gencrul
Yncz sulumr commander OF Mexican
federal volunteers who wua driven
ont of Oinsga. Mexico. hy the reh-
els. WAS arrested here today
Solaznr was found on q train bound
for Eagle Pass. where he had intend
ga to cross che river tn Join thc 'ed-
erul forces at 'lcdras Nerras. Mex
leo. q federal warrant is dDt for him
In me United StaloF fur conspiracy to
,loluic tho neutrality hwa The
Mexican commander admitted his
identity and said ho had decided to
risk arrest Iu this country rather than
bc captured hy the rebel forces.
Recently U was reported from
MoNlco Ciy that Salnzar. General
pascunl OruzCo ana General ctra
voo. federal volunteer commanders,
he'd escaped from Oiinaga and were
making thoH way 90 san Luis Potosi
ln iho interior OF MoSlco. This rc-
port was evidently ruHe to cnnnle
the generals Co srt away
when asked where ornzco nnd
Carayeo were. Sn8mr mid be- asa nai
ruow. sammr ana Orozco had heen
threatened with execution by Nilln
Orozco who brrAme known nrst
through lighting n tho Madero Rove
olution and then royolnng unhlnat
Prcsidcni Wadoro. .s also under ln-
dictmcnt in this country
Albuquerque evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1911-1914, 1914-01-16
Men Defeated at 0jinaga and
Women and Children Being
Escorted to Texas Railway
Point.
SCATTERED ALONG
FOR 67 MILES
Picturesque Migration Closely
Guarded by American Cav.
airy; Gen. Mereado Rides
in Auto.
GENERAL sALAZAR
PLACED UNDER ARREST
Iny I.cased Wire 10 I.,cnlne Herald. !

tBy LEASED Wire 90 Evening Herald
irpHdiu, Tex, Jan i6.-All the
$500 Mexican federal soldiers and
the lNNY women refugees who
sought safety ln tho United states
after thc capture uf OunaRa had lcu
Preside today Tor their march TO-
Marin, from which point thcy are Co
he transported hp railroad ,o Fort
BLISS near $50 Paso
Tho rUgred army was scattered for
Gl miles along the mountain road to
Maria. closely guarded by United
States cuNairymcn. General salvador
Merctdo. until recently Hucrtna miil-
tary chiot in northern McXico rode
in an automobile with General Fran
cisco Castro. other federal generals
rode on horses The common SOLE
dlerH and thc women refugees, many
of them carrying children in their
arms. made the march atopt.
Newer had there been seen on the
border so picturesque "a miguauon ua
when the tattcred Mexican army WINS
set Ia motion un the four dnys
march 90 Maria. small dct1chment1
had been drifting along the rond for
several days. but it wHs not until SAY
light today thai the main body START
cd. Major McNBmee OF the United
states border patrol, rode nt the head
of tho long column. with un escort
OF three troops of the Fourteenth
cnyulry while Two troops brought up
the ronr
Each uf tho hungry horses which
was brought across tho river with the
routed Mexclns bore at ieast two
riders usually a woman and mNu.
sturdy little hurros carried domestic
belongings. packed IN bundles ON
both sidos ana w.th children perchcd
on top.
Despite their ragged appearance,
which suggested only misery ana
hunger. the soldiers ana women were
In merry Spirits Now ami then
sroups of soldiers broke into sony
while others whilo dcyuuring the sac
tions supplied hy American troops
swapuod stories ot the exciting CX-
perienccs ln the battle of Obnngn.
somo of the ofnccrF uniforms, while
wsecd. san horc remnants OF gor-
gcuus gold decorations
10 win bee Monday might before the
main body of refugees reaches Mar
ia.