The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1914-06-26

ERlNG BLADES Wt4o ABSORBED
THE MAGNETIC CURRENT d.
RECT FROM THE CENTRAL
STORAGE PLANT.
Out in the Celery Belt Of the Hin
terland there is a stunted Flag-Station.
Number Six, carrying one Day
Coach and Combination Baggage
/. and Stock Car, would pause long
enough to unload q Bucket Of Oysters
and take on Crate of Eggs.
In this settlement the Leading Citi-
gems still wear Gum Arctics with large
Buckles, and Parched Corn is served
at Social Functions.
Two highly respected Money-G etters
of pure American Stock held forth In
this lonesome Kraal and did a General
Merchandising.
One was called Milt, in honor of the
Blind Poet, and the other claimed the
/ following brief Monniker, to wit:
Henry.
Neither of them had to pay the Wo-
man who did the Housework.
Henry and Milt got what they could
during the Daytime and always stood
ready to trim up the Dark Lanterns
and operate at Night.
These two Pillars Of Society had
marched at the head Of the Women
and School Children during the Dry
Movement which banished King Alco-
hol from their Fair City.
AS result Of their Efforts Liquor
was not to be obtained in this Town
except at the Drug Stores and Restaur-
ants or in the Cellar underlying any
well-conducted Home.
For Eleven Months and Three
Weeks out of every Calendar year
these two played Right and Left
Tackle in the Stubborn Battle to Up
lift the Community and better the
Moral Tone.
They walked the Straight and Mar
row, wearing Binders, Check-Reins.
Hobbies and Interference Pads.
Very often Mother would hurry
her little Brood to the Front Window
when Milt or Henry passed by carry
Ing under his arm Package of Corn
Flakes and the Report OF the General
Secretary in charge Of Chinese Mis-
sionary Work.
sLook!" she would say, indicating
Local Paragon with index Finger. ''If
you always wash behind the Ears and
learn your Catechism, you may grow
up to be like Him"
But every Autumn, about the time
the Frost is on the Stock Market and
Wall Street is in the Shock, Milt and
Henry would do a .Skylark Ascension
from the Home Nest and Wing away
toward the Rising Sun.
They calledEit FAN Buying, because
both Of them Bought and both Of them
Fell.
At Home neither Of them would
Kick In for any Pastime more worldly
than Decent M. p Show depicting a
large number of Insane People falling
over Precipices.
The Blow-Off came on the Trip to
! the City That was the Big show.
Every Nickel that could be held out
went into the little Tin Bank, for they
knew that when they got together 100
OF these Washers. q man up in New
York would let them have some Tiff
fanny Water OF Rare Vintage, with a
Napkin wrapped around 1t as an Evil
dence Of Good Faith.
On Winter Evenings, Milt would
don the Velvet Slippers and grill his
Lower Extremitiea on the ornate Por-
tic0 such as surrounds every high
price Base-Burner.
While thus crisping himself he loved
to read News Notes from Gotham,
signed Carolyn Stuyvesant, who
seemed to have the Entree into the
Best Houses.
He did not know that Carolyn had
tangled Whiskers and jottedN down his
Boudoir Secrets in a Weinstube, using
a borrowed Pencil.
So he believed what It said in the
Paper about well-known Heiress hav.
ing the Teeth Of her favorite Pomer-
anian filed with Radium at Cost OF
100000.
Whenever he got this kind Of q
Private Peek into the Gay Life of the
Modern Babylon. he began to breathe
through his Nose and tug at the
Leash.
He longed to dash away on the Erie
to look at the Iron Fence in front OF
the Home Of the Pomeranian.
When the Day of Days arrived. Mili
and Henry would be seen at the Depot
with congesLed Suit-Cases and their
Necks all newly shaver and powdered
for the approaching Jubilee.
Each had pinned into his college
made Suit enough currency to lift the
Debt on the Parsonage
Already they we're smoking Foreign
Cigars and these were mere Hint Of
what the Future had in Store.
While waiting for Number Six they
wired for Two Rooms and Two -aths
and to have Relays waiting in the
Manicure Parlor.
TN Al the Tuncfion whera they