davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11
By
BEN JONSON

"orshlpfui Master Clement a strange
company comprising nearly all the
characters in this comedy. And If il
nao been Every Man in His Humor"
aofe, II was every man and womaa.
met. s-44s assembly
a rough and ready. jolly. old Justice
was Clement, who manufactured and
dispensed law, according TO his humor
MS race was ruddy and his body was
rotund with good living. But he had n
native shrewdness of wit which went IN
the bottom of things and got at the meat
OF matter in short order.
90 said the Justice when he had
taken his seat and looked through his
spectacles at the company, you have all
oeeh IN mischief. have you? Well. tell
me the story
Voiuoly then did they tell their stories
and the justice listened with exemplary
Patience.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11
Spies Upon His Wife

Cash. who had just come into the
room and was Fastening to get off and
tell his master that the gang had
arrived, looked guilty and replied that,
really, he could not say. He thought
at Justice Clements. adding "Shall I
go for him?"
mo; you stay here; send for him.
replied the matron. "What man is
this?" and she looked toward the dis
guised Brainworm.
"It is servant of my fathers" said
Edward "and he comes from the house
of Justice Clement-and is about to re-
turn there. He will take your mes
sage"
Just then came in Cob. whom Kite1y
had secretly set up as a spy upon his
wife and the gay companions of his
brother-inlaw.
COB, Cob, you here?' cried Nine.
Kitely. Il wonder why, of late, my
husband has been calling out for Cob,
Cob! all the time. There must be some
secret between you and your master,
Cob. What is it?'
Nothing, l assure you," replied Cob,
looking more guilty than ever under
the sharp eye of Mrs. Kitely.
Get out of here" she replied GROSSLY
and Cob got.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11
Captain BObadil

Sweet hostess, a cup of thy small
beer" said the captain feebly as Mistress
Cob showed in the poet.
My good Matthew, II was out at a
fashionable assembly last night where
you were much desired. LII have just
got out of bed"
The captain sat upon the edge of the
bench and began to pull himself together
"a process which was nightly assisted
by the cup of beer which Mistress Cob
brought him.
He picked up his hat with its bedrag
gled plumes from the Aoor and smoothed
out the rumpled feathers. He stood up.
felt IL his sword was by his side, ar
runged his cloak and strobe across the
hcor assuming a manner grave, solemn
almost threatening.
In spite of the fact that they were a
trfle bleary, his eyes looked forth with
determination from beneath contracted
brows; and though his nose was rubi-
cund, it was a nose of such size that it
couldn't help but be impressive.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11
Planning An ElOpement

While this was taking place Bobadil
was staggering up and down and Ed
ward and Bridget were talking earnest
ly apart. Had they not been SO much
engrossed with themselves the others
would have seen that Edward and
Bridget were plotting mischief But
selfish people always are blind.
Brainworm ran back to Justice Glenn
ent's house and there found the justice,
Master Knowell and Master Kitely in
deep conversation. Taking his master
aside he intimated that he thought that
If he wanted to find his son he might run
across him at Cob's house. Then getting
Master Kitely aside he whispered that If
he wanted to meet with his wife he might
find her at the same place.
The rogue knew that an elopement was
on foot between Edward and Bridget.
and his main idea was to get all the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11
Seeking Privacy

Il must require, Master Matthew" said
he, that you do not reveal to anyone
where l lodge. Doubtless Mr.. Wellbred
told you and sent you here. But l would
have it go no further.
Not that I care. for the cabin is con-
venient, but I wish it not to be too pop
uiaf and too often visited.
For I am fond of privacy and, by
the heart Of valor in me! except to
some choice spirits I would not have it
known where | lodge l should be so
pestered with callers"
by this time the captains moustache
was sticking out ferociously; his stride
had become a swagger and ever and anon
he clapped his hands TO the hilt of his
good sword and threw out his chest
Captain" said Matthews most defer
entially. what think you of Squire
Downright, Master Welbreds halt
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11

sor whom it were well and comforting to
seek out in delicate matter of family
affairs-for to Justice Clements had
Knowell taken his way
No sooner had Kitely left his house than
there entered Wellbred, Edward Kncwell,
Brainworm, Matthew Captain Bobadil
and Stephen.
Brainworm was still in disguise, but
Fad revealed himself to Edward in the
Windmill Tavern where he had sought
lin and where Edward had Joined Well
bred and the others.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11
The Morning After

The duty of reading a lecture to such
a hre-eater as Captain Bobadil and such
a masterful woman as 7 ID Cob is a task
which any sensible man would delay
performing as long as possible. And be-
sides, what is the use of being precipi-
tate? 1t is a sin TO be avoided.
Matthew found the captain in that state
known as "the morning after" The
phrase is not found In any dictionary of
familiar quotations, but the gentle reader,
by careful inquiry among his friends.
can, in all probability. find out the cryp-
tic meaning of the words.
A practical demonstration should not be
tried; in most communities there are
town ordinances against experimenting
i'll that direction.
The captain had not sone to bed. When
his visitor entered he was lying upon
a bench fully dressed, with two pillows
under his head and his cloak wrapped
around him, just his most and hostess
had left him the night before.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11
International Social Statistics

FROM the SclentlHc AIuerlcdH
An international institute is being
formed to collect and compile figures On
subjects which are barometers of finan-i
cial, industrial. trade or social conditions
1t is proposed that monthly figures of the'
subjects mentioned on a given day each
month be sent the office of the institute
for immediate publication In q form ready
for comparative use by business men.
There is no doubt great scope for work
of this kind, and it is to be hoped that the
proposed international institute may fu!-
fill successfully this very important func-
ton.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11
All Happy But One

Marry, they shall have their wedding
supper here" cried Justice Clement. Go
pid them co1ne at once Nine. and Mas
ter l<itely, you are ordered by the court
10 make UP yourselves and forgive your
sister. And you, Master KnowelI. are
ordered to forgive your son."
Edward Hnowell, with Wellbred ana
Bridget, now entered having been hastily
Summoned from the tavern. and the JUS
tice claimed a kiss from the bride, who.
with the bridegroom, were at once for
given by order of the court
Prepare the feast!'' shouted the JUS
Tee Cob, there, be reconciled to your
wife. lib, be reeonciled to your husband.
AS for you, captain, get you gone or you
snail have another beating
I'ralnworm. you shall dine with us
you are genius. Matthew. you pretend
cd poet, you and Stephen shall eat in
the pantry with the servants. The rest
of you come, come.
I'VE will be merry Master Bride.
groom, take your bride and lead the
way in. The adventures of this day will
be remembered as fable by our grand
children
So, finally, out of perplexities, Edward
and Bridget came to the state of happy
matrimony, and KnoWell gave them a
house and an income.
AS for Bobadil his staggering never
plospered from that ont and he skunk
about the purlieus of London-a shabby
outcast
Next weeks one-page classic will be
"Lothair," by Benjamin Drisraeli
Copyright 1918, by Irving king)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11
Introducing Stephen

The letter had not been sealed and
Knowell had folded it up again and 80
tied 1t with its sllken string-envelopes
were unknown in those days-that when
the missive reached the hands of Ed
ward he would never have known his
father had read 1t had not the clerk told
him so. How do you know he opened
it?" asked Edward.
sBeeause he told me not to tell you
that he had" was the convincing reply.
well, | will go, anyway" said Ed
ward. "and will not let the old gentle
man know that / know he has looked
into my letter. We meet at the tavern
but shall, infallibly, get to Master
Kitely's house-and / must see Bridget
Also he resolved to take along with
him his cousin Stephen, q country gull
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11
The Joker Found

NothlhG loatb Matthew began recitins
sonnet which he declared he had inst
composed but which the Justice In
rage that threatened him with apopIexv.
declared the man had stolen.
And now. then, who are vou that
masauerades in the livery of my process
server?' said he, suddenly singing out
bfalnworm. 'Hah, I will commit you"
Nay, sir, if You will commit me il
snail not be for nothing" and he tore off
MS disguise and stood revealed. to the
amaze'nen' of all. especially of his mas
ter, Knowell
80 you are the JOKER are you? Well.
you are merry knave to put all these
people ny the ears. Give me a bowl of
Pullch there. l will drink your health
you shall al drink. But what is the
point?" ~ inv
" sir 1 was looking after the well
i"ie Vi NY old master, ard of my young
master too. | tried 20 draw people away
IN merry manner while my young Mas
Ter Edward made a conveyance of Mis-
tress Bridget Kitely"
row. my sister stolen away?" cried
hltely, and What, my son married ~
cried Knowell
Faith, sir they are as fast as love. a.
priest ana A30oo-which is her portion
can make them. And by this time they
are ready to bespeak the wedding supper.
at the Windmill tavern unless some peo-
PIE forgive them and invite them home"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11
Old Husbands and Young Wives

Then to Brainworm she said: go
you to my husband and tell him
want him."
II am afraid" stammered Brainworm,
"that you will find him best at the
house of-of this-ths Cob And he
told her where the honest waterman
had his home.
Out flounced Madam Kitely to call
her maids, to array her in her most
becoming garments and to follow her
suspectedly perfidious husband to the
place where, she had no doubt. he had
arranged a meeting not at all to her
liking.
If old husbands are jealous of young
wives, young wives are no less Jealous
of old husbands. There is some curb
ing of young wife, but when an
aged husband. in a freak of senile de-
mentia, goes off the track there is no
saving to what follies he will not be-
tray himself.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11
Salt and Radishes

While Master Knowell is trailing his
Say young heir we will look in with
Matthew and Captain Bobadil at the
Windmill tavern and have salt and rad
ishes' with our glass of Wine
AT the tavern Matthew and the cap
tain met Master Wellbred, and this
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11
Brainworm's New Disguise

Meantime Bobadil had, with Matthew
and Stephen, started for the house of
the justice with the Intention of getting
a warrant against Downright for beat
irg the captain.
One the way they met a man wearing
the garb of a server of processes for the
Justices court and at once demanded the
arrest of the squire.
The apparent officer of the law agreed
at once, saying: Let us find him.. 1t
was indeed Brainworm in a new dis
guise.
The Justices process server having got
drunk in a tavern where Brainworm had
found him. the shrewd clerk had "ap-
propriated'' his uniform and started out
to play a new role.
There he goes!' cried Captain .Boba
dill. pointing to a man striding down the
street.
1t was, indeed, Downright and the, fake
constable at once told him he was under
arrest. Downright looked at Stephen and
cried out: "Very well; but arrest that
uan also; he has stolen my cloak and has
it on
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11
At Justice Clements Rooms

Thus it happened that presently there
was gathered in the justice room Of the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11
In the Midst of the Tumult

80. he, sir, ] have found you out,
have 1? would fain see this paragon
whom you visit here to the neglect of
your lawful wife. IN tear her eyes
out o. you decefver!'
"Out on your impudence.' cried Kitely:
there in the shadow turks the man you
came to meet. Come forward, there!'
And Knowell boldly stepped forward.
When Kitely saw the aged. and here
tofore extremely proper, merchant, he
began to heap abuse upon him, calling
him an ''old goat" a "hoary-headed
villain" and other naughty names
And while he vilified Kpowell Nine.
Kitely vilified him, everybody protest
ing their own innocence and accusing
the others.
In the midst of the tumult came Cob,
returning home and naturally asking
what all the row was about They all
spoke at once and all accused poor Tib
of having made her house place OF
rendezvous.
Tib came to the door and protested In
no unmeasured terms, swhereup her
jealous husband beat her and sent her
back into the house again.
At length it was agreed that the whole
company, Tib included, should go to JUS
tce Clements house and have him de-
eide the matter
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11
Rank jealousy

But it was not Bridget that gave the
worthy merchant the greatest anxiety.
There was Mistress Kitely, to his mind
the most accomplished and most beautiful
woman that ever lived.
Why did those gallants hang about the
house? He had heard, before, of men
marrying young wives and what came
of it, o, dear O, dear These rapscal-
lions came merely to see that scatter
brsin Wellbred? Nonsensel
Jealousy, rank, green Jealousy, entered
and took possession of the worthy man.
He had a business engagenient-but he
cared hardly leave the house He felt
sure that pretty soon Wellbred, with a
company of his rakish companions, would
be coming in. @i5I =
why, . why, did l ever marry?" he
said; my life went on in peaceful cham
nels before that"
He thought the idea was original with
himself. But it wasn't.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11
Taking Cash Into His Confidence

He called to his clerk, Thomas Cash.
and said: Look after the house in my
absence well. l am 10th to take thee into
my confidence so far-but-will you
swear?"
"Swear?' cried Thomas.
There! he will not swear. 1t is as |
suspected; he is In league with them.'
My good master" said Cash, Il will
swear whatsoever you please. What is
it? Tell me-
Nay. now I think upon it. replied
Kitely, Il will not require you to do SO.
But, Cash, my good Cash, if those young
men come to the house, pray you, send
for me at once. ! shall be either on the
Exchange or at Mister Justice Clement s
house in Coleman street.
1t will be seen that the worthy mer-
ohfsnt, like his fellow. Master Knoweil,
had thought of the jolly justice as per-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-01-11

Next weeks one-page classic will be
"Lothair," by Benjamin Drisraei.
Copyright, 1913. by Irving King.)
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1914-07-10
NEARLY 5000 FARMS IN
THE UPPER PENINSULA
HouGHToN COUNTY IS FOURTH
WITH 1883 TRACTS UN.
DER CULTIVATION.

The position of Houghton county as
farming district. and its claim as an
agricultural territory, in relation To
other counties i'm Cloverland. is indi-
Gated by the number OF farms within
its borders. In the upper peninsula
there are nearly nine thousand farms
and but three other counties surpass
Houghton in number Of tracts under
cultivation. Menomnee heads the list
with 1867 farms, Chippewa is second
with 1899, Delta is third with LIPS and
Houghton is fourth with 1888
The total number of farms in the
state is 206.960 and Kent county leads,
with G,276. The smallest number of
farms in any county is in Keweenaw
where only SO tracts are being Guilt
waited.
The upper peninsula's farms are di-
Yided among the following counties:
Menominee. 1867; Chippewa, 1899
Delta, LIS: Houghton, 1893; Mar
quette. Gel; Mackinac. 49O; School |
craft, al; Baraga, il2 Iron. 3Sl; on
81: Alger 27S; Gosebic. 257, |
Dickinson, 2S5: Luce, 1875; Keweenaw,
30, total, 1884.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1914-07-10
CONDITION is SERIOUS.
Jonah Orrison, Manager Of Atlas
Powder Co.. is Critically ~.

News has been received here to the
effect that Jonah Orrison. formerly
OF Houghton and manager Of the At
las Powder Co., who has been located
in the iron country for some time, is
in a critical condition in ST. Georges
hospital, Iron Mountain. Mr.. Orrison
has been i'll for some time and the
greater portion Of that time he was in
a Chicago hospital He was later re-
moved to Iron Mountain.
When first removed TO Iron Noun
tain, Mr.. Orrison was taken to the
home Of DR.. and Mrs. Joseph A. Gro
well, where il was expected he would
rapidly recuperate. Complications
developed, however, and it was me-
cessary TO again remove him to hos
pital. The news OF Mr.. Orrisons con-
dition was received with regret by his
many copper country friends.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1914-07-10
SEEKS SUPERVISORS ADVICE
Probate Judge to Take Widows Pen.
sion Matter Up To Board

In the hopes of clarifying his posi-
ton on the widows pension law. Pro-
bate Judge Bentley viii submit the
report Of recent Investigation to the
county board of Supervisors. and in
the event that the supervisors decide
to give relief under the pension act
he will be guided by their decision.
This action comes as result Of the
investigation by county probation
agent, Thomas McGrath Of cases call
ed to his attention by the Houghton
County NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. society and
the Calumet Associate Charities.
At least four cases were found that
might be relieved under the Widows
pension law. Mr.. McGrath reported
that one of the women is "A sufferer
from tuberculosis and the mother of
four children, all Of whom live in a
one-room house The remaining
three cases leads the probation OH
Ger 10 the belief that the poor fund
is not being distributed properly
that If the poor commissioners made
personal Investigations more relief
would be extended IN some cases and
others who are less deserving would
receive smaller rum. I'm fact. me re-
ported To- the poor department cases
that have been taken from the relief
lists because they were not deserving
Of assistance.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1914-07-10
ENROLMENT INCREASING.
% New Members Being Added Daily to
The Commercial Club.

The plan Of the Copper Country
Commercial club, inaugurated at its
annual meeting at Calumet. to in
crease the membership. has been sue
cessful and Secretary Price states that
twenty five new members are being
added daily.
Secretary Price has received a letter
from Hon. Brand Whtock, American
minister TO Belgium, who is at present
IN BRUSSELS. Mr. Whiuuck was ex-
tended an invitation to attend the an
nu"i meeting Of the club but until to-
day no word was received from him.
Tie letter explains that the invitation
was addressed to his old home in Tole-
do ana before it reached him at Brus-
soils the meeting had already taken
place Mr. Whitlook stated that he
appreciated the honor highly and If il
We're possible ne would have been i'm
attendance. lie also expressed the lone
that the meeting was a success.
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1914-07-10
new FIELD GUNS
FOR THE MILITIA
Guardsmen viii Be Equipped with
Six-lnch HoWitzers

Heavier guns than ever before hav
been furnished the field artillery Of tn
National Guard will be placed in tn,
hands Of guardsmen OF the United
States as a result of the $2.1O0OO0 ap,
Precipitation for this purpose just pass
ed by Congress.
The war department, through rs
chief of ordnance, General Crozier, haC
asked the House committee for that
sum but had been cut to $4,000
while the $4,000 600 for ammunition for
this branch of the National Guard had
been cut to 100000. The trouble at
Vera Cruz, however, caused the House
TO agree. after long delay. to the pass
age Of both appropriations at the orig
inal figure.
The batteries are under construction
at the Rock Island Ulls) arsenal and
viii be completed In a few months.
Their cost, according to General Cro-
zier carries from $4,000 for the A.
inch gun type TO $lSSOOO for the g.
inch. Howitzcrs There are four guns
in each battery which also includes
ammunition vehicles, store and battery
wagons and automatic pistols for ar
tillery men. Speaking Of the batteries
now ready for the regulars and the
organized militia, General Crozier
says:
There are now organized and
equipped ffty-nine militia batteries,
which 236 guns. Six batteries, or TWEEN
ty-four guns. have been issued in the
past year. In addition 10 this, under
former appropriations, there will be-
sixty-four more guns 10 be held in re-
serve for the use of the militia. We
have concluded that 3.l6 guns should be
supplied for each thousand Of the
strength Of the cavalry and infantry.
therefore we wish 10 have IA batteries
in readiness for the militia, should il
be brought up 10 its fun war strength.
We have rs modern batteries for
the regular army already appropriated
for (outside of the present appropria-
ton bill) Thirty-one Of them are in |
the hands Of the troops and eighty |
four are in reserve. OF those i'm the |
regular service we have four rcgi- |
ments of six batteries. each equipped
with modern guns, (the two remain
ing regiments have an old type OF
mountain gun not considered in the
approved projecU, and we have one
battery for use in the land defense Of
Honolulu and three for instruction pur-
poses in the artillery schools Of fire.
In force Of $40 good men the
strength of the infantry and cavalry
VIII be such as to call, at the ratio Of
ZIG guns to each 1000 men, for 1928
batteries"
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1914-07-10
ARE YOUR KIDNEYS WELL &?
Many Calumet People Know the In, d.
portanee Of Healthy Kidneys.

Tho kidneys filter the blood.
They work night and day.
Well kidneys remove impurities.
Weak kidneys allow impurities Ia
multiply.
No kidney III should be neglected.
There is possible danger in delay.
II you have headache or urinary
troubles,
II your are nervous, dizzy or worn
out.
Begin treating your kidneys at once.
Use a proven kidney remedy
None endorsed like Doan's Kidney
Pills.
Recommended by thousands.
Proved by Houghton testimony.
Mrs. II. r. Cundy. 156 Albion St.
Houghton, Mich. says: The state
ment / gave before regarding Doan's
Kidney Pills stin holds good. We can
still recommend them fer they have
proven very valuable remedy in our
family. / have also used Doan's Kid
ney Pills lately for bacl,ache and 9th
or symptoms OF kidney trouble and
Rave had good results"
Price soc, no all dealers. Don't
simply ask for a Kidney remedy-get
Doan's Kidney Pns-the same that
Mrs Cundv had Foster Nrilburn co.
Props, Ruraio. y Y.
Remember the name-Doan's-and
'ake no other ADVERTISEMENT
The Calumet news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 1907-1938, 1914-07-10
Houghton Department
SHEEP RAISING IN THE c. c.
1000 Montana Sheep Will Be Shipped
to v. p. farmers Soon.

The first extensive attempt at sheer
raising will be made in the copper
country this summer. and Prof. w. f.
Raven, superintendent Of the Chatham
experiment station, is at present in
Montana for the purpose Of purchasing
sheep To be shipped TO the upper PEN
insula 1t is expected that within the
next week 1000 Montana sheep will
be received by local farmers. Prof
Raven will purchase 1000 sheep for
upper peninsula farmers and one
seventh Of this supply will be taken
care OF in this district.
Many farmers and experts on sheep
raising consider the copper country an
excellent place for the raising of sheep.
The climatic conditions are ideal for
the purpose and fodder is easily OBJ
tanned II is believed this district will
Ultimately become one Of the prominent
sheep raising regions in the United
States. AT any rate the experiment
viii be attempted and the first trial
viii begin soon.