The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-06-27


They're all doing it
! One of those buttinsky investigators
claims to have discovered that the
Declaration Of Independence was read
on July s. and not July 4. But #
cans. Since firecrackers went out OF
style. one July day II much like an
other.
One young mans idea of q joke was
to get q marriage license before COM
plotting arrangements with the young
lady In the case; others get consider-
able enjoyment from setting fire to
ly any very young man considers him.
self rare jokist.
The suspicion that our government
might undertake to mediate the AL
bantam squabble, should be viewed
with alarm by all Europe. So far as
the evidence shows, the word 'medi-
ate" is considered q synonym for
scramble" in our justly celebrated
land.
While Pinchot is kicking Hon. Per-
kins out OF the Bull party. why not
use both feet and include Hon. Bill
Finn? Then, II Hon. Rosinfelt made
good his threat to leave with Perkins,
it would leave but three Hons. on the
job. Hon. Pinchot, Hon. Bill White
and Hon. Murdoch. What il left of
the bull contingent would be easier
to divide among three than half q
dozen, anyway.
"As Il understand It," says Hondo
Murphy, the word work IL one of
the most elastic in the dictionary. Po-
! licemen often refer to their work.
and one time I heard a blind beggar,
while waiting for county charity to
slip him along to the next town, say
him: Il wouldn't take q hundred dol
lars for him. It takes 10 long to train
Maybe the failure Of the Claflin
company was merely psychological
failure. MT. Wilson says that the bust
ness depression is that kind of depres-
! sion.
Jack Supp expects to reap fortune
as soon as he can begin to manufac-
ture his latest invention. It is an
open-faced diving suit to be worn
while inhaling watermelon.
Until this white slave business is
finally cleared up, 1t will be highly un-
profitable for any young man who
ing black eye.
Problem: If it takes 170.016 cars to
haul the wheat crop out OF Kansas,
of autos, player pianos, Persian rugs.
lgraphophones, grafters, safety razors,
ct cetera, ct cetera, into the state?
In a quiet town like this. the most
expensive form of dissipation is in
du1ged in by the woman who insists
on canning supply of fruit.
A rule prohibiting the use of to-
! bacco by ministers has been passed
~ 10 7a-k
the only recourse left Methodist
! preachers who like to smoke is the
| factory-made cigarette.
The defense Of the California biga-
mist who forgot that he was pre-
vfously married. will be poor stun to
take before q jury of married men.
That is something a man il not al
lowed to forget.
Any one who knows where one of
| those drug guns" such as used in
! the recent pale slave case. can be pur-
| chased will confer a favor by notify
| ing. this department. We want it for
dazing cats, not chickens.
Ty Cobb was fined $50 for swatting
the Detroit butcher. But even that il
cheaper than swatting a big league
umpire. The latest market quota
tons on Jump swatti1g is about 500
bones.
| According to dispatches, New
work politician was accidentally shot
| while carrying "ceveraf' of Mayor
Mitchers pistols from the auto to the
mayors residence. AS toter OF
the woofiest of the woody westerners
of early days, who considered a pair
of gats full equipment. II viewer.
| there is more gun work in New York
than on the Old -oorderland, so the
mayor may be justified in carrying an
| auto load of six guns.
No matter which, the dark or light,
F! is trimmed in Paree, France. tonight.
! it serves him 1ight-it serves him
right.
! And as for this department, we
shall mourn not with them as mourn.
whether it be the defeated pug or the
boob that lost money betting on him.
"1t is pretty hard for man who
| isn't to pose as a college graduate"
observes Polk Daniels. But why
word 1t that WV
do. say: Eyes, I went through Har-
tent guide who pointed out all the
objects of interest, and other objects,
that had no apparent interest. which
he said were students.
'Mr. Stubs large brother law"
says Jack Supp. probably wrote that
high recommendation Of himself in
Dutch because t would sound SO fool
! ish in English. Il he hat i'm con-
gress Gut gem.cht, vot. fer die Lieb
du l1ichael, would be the correct
| Dutch for q ''holy frost?'
And, although FIR. Supp may be
little rusty in his German, It may be
| noticed that he Is Dutch bear at es--
| timating congressman,
Longren is one of the "'safe-afd-
| sane,, kind of axfatnra. hut not the