The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1914-11-19

Cupied four chairs. lis one OF the fines
towns in the world"
II presume that you have seen tn
sights of the metropolis" said tn,
! New Yorker. -Four days Is not
/ sufficient length Of time IL which L
! view even our most salient points o
! interest, but one can possibly form
| general impression. Our architecture
| supremacy is what generally strike
visitors 10 our city most fOrcibly. o.
course you have seen our FlatirOI
| building. 1t is considered
Saw It," said the man from Topaz
| City. But you ought to come out Our
| way. It's mountainous. you know
and the ladies all wear short skirts fol-
climbing and
Excuse me-" said the New Yorker
but that isn't exactly the point. New
York must be wonderful revelation
10 a visitor from the west Now. as t.
our hotels
Say" said the man from Topaz
City. that reminds me-there were
sixteen stage robbers shot last year
within twenty miles Of
Il was speaking of hotels" said the
New Yorker. We lead Europe in that
respect. And as far as our leisure
class is concerned we are far
"Oh. ! don't know" interrupted the
man from Topaz City. There were
twelve trampS in our jail when ! left
home. | guess New York isn't So
Beg pardon, you seem To miSappre-
bend the idea. OF course. you visited
the stock exchange and Wall street.
where the
"Oh. yes" said the man from Topaz
City, as he lighted a PENNSYLVANIA
stogie. land | want to tell you that
we've got the finest town marshal west
of the Rockies Bill Rainier he took in
five pickpOckets out of the crowd
when Red Nose Thompson laid the
cornerstone of his new saloon. Topaz
City don't allow
Have another Rhine wine and self
Ger" suggested the New Yorker. I've
never been west, as | said. but there
can't be any place out there to compare
with New York. AS to the claims Of
Chicago. ~
One man." said the Topazite-"o
man only has been murdered and rob-
bed in Topaz City in the last three
"Oh. ] know what Chicago is" inter-
posed the New Yorker. Have you
been up Fifth avenue to see the mag
niticent residences Of our mir'-
Seen 'em all. You ought to know
Reub Stegall. the assessor of Topaz.
When old man Tilbury. that owns the
only two story house in town, tried to
swear his taxes from $4,000 down to
S4J0.I5, Reub buckled on his 45 and
went down TO see
Yes. yes: but speaking of our great
city-one Of its greatest features is our
superb police department. There is no
body of men in the world that can
equal it for
THAT waiter gets around like
Langley flying machine" remarked the
man from Topaz City thirstily. We've
got men in our town, too. worth $780,
coo. There's old Bill Withers and Colo.
mel Metcalf and
Have you seen Broadway at night?"
asked the New Yorker courteously.
There are few streets in the world
that can compare with it, When the
electrics are shining and the pavements
are alive with two hurrying streams of
elegantly clothed men and beautiful
women attired in the cOStliest costumes
that wind in and out in close maze of
expensively"-
Never knew but one case in Topaz
City, said the man from the west.
Jim Bailey. our mayor, had his watch
and chain and S235 in cash taken from
his pocket while
That's another matter" said the
New Yorker. while you are in our
city you should avail yourself of every
to see its wonders. Our
rapid transit system
IF you was out in Topaz" broke in
the man from there. Il could show you
whole cemetery full of people that
got killed accidentally. Talking about
minging folks up. Why, when Berry
Rogers turned loose that old double |
barreled shotgun of his loaded with |
Slugs ut anybody
Here, waiter" called the New York.
Pr. 1.-Two more of the same. 1t Is ac- |
knowledged by every one that our city |
is the center of art and literature and |
learning. Take. for instance. our after |
dinner speakers. Where else IN the |
country would you find such wit and |
eloquence as emanate from Depew and |
Ford and
IF you take the papers," interrupted |
The weSterner, you must have read of |
Pete Webster's daughter. The Web
'terS live two blocks north of the court
house in Topaz City. Miss Tillie Web
'ter. she slept forty days and nights
without waking up. The doctors said |
hat
Pass the matches, please" said the
New Yorker. Have you observed the
expedition with which new buildings
Ire being run up in New York? I'm
'roved inventions in steel framework
nd
81 noticed" said the Nevadian, "that