Oxford Democrat., 1914-09-08

&NCW AohnSi' We AS@o AoAoPS eA $3.50
respect And as far as our leisure
class is concerned we are far
"Oh. l don't know" Interrupted the
man from Topaz City. There were
twelve tranips in our jail when I left
home guess New York isn't so"-
beg pardon. you seem to misappre.
bend the idea. OF course, you visited
the stock exchange and Wall street
where the
"Oh. yes" said the man from Topuz
City, as he lighted Pennsylvania
stogie, land want to tell you that
we've got the finest town marshal west
of the Rockies. Bill Rainer he took In
FIVE pickpockets out Of the crowd
when Red Nose Thompson laid the
cornerstone of his new saloon Topaz
City don't allow
"Have another Rhine wine and selt.
Eer." suggested the New Yorker. "Ive
never been west. as said. but there
can't be any place out there to compare
with New York. AS to the claims of
Chicago. ~
Zone man." said the Topazite- zone
man only has been murdered and rob
bed In Topaz City In the last three
"Oh, know what Chicago is," inter.
posed the New Yorker Have you
been up Fifth avenue to see the mag
niflcent residences Of our mil"-
Seen 'em all. You ought to know
Reub Stegall. the assessor Of Topaz
When old man TIlbury that owns the
only two story house In town. tried to
swear his taxes from $4,000 down to
S450.75, Reub buckled on his IS and
went down to Sec
"Yes. yes; but speaking Of our greht
city-one Of Its greatest features Is our
superb police department There Is no
body Of men in the world that can
equal 1t for"-
"That waiter gets around like Il
Langley flying machine" remarked the
man from Topaz City thirstily. We've
got men in our town. too. worth S4OO.
900. There's old Bill Withers md Colo
mel Metcalf and
"Have you seen Broadway at night?'
asked the New Yorker courteously
There are few streets in the world
that can compare with 1t. When the
electrics are shining and the pavements
are alive with two hurrying streams Of
elegantly clothed men and beautiful
women attlred In the costliest costumes
that wind In and out IN close maze Of
eXpensively"-
"Never knew but one case In Topaz
City," said the man from the west
"Jim Bailey. our mayor, had bis watch
and chain and $685. In cash taken from
his pocket while
That's another matter" said the
New Yorker. while you are IN our
city you should avail yourself Of every
opportunity to see Its wonders. Our
rapid transit SYSTEM
"If you was out In Tophz," broke In
the man from there. II could show you
whole cemetery full of people that
got killed accidentally. Talking about
mingling folks up! Why. when Berry
Rogers turned loose that OLD double
barreled shotgun Of his loaded with
llugs at anybody
Here. wuiterl" called the New YORK.
pr. 1.-TWO more OF the same II Is nc
knowledged by every one that our city
Is the center Of art and literature ana
learning. Take. for instance. our after
dinner speakers Where else in the
country would you find such wit and
eloquence as emanate from Depew and
Ford and.
"If you take the papers, interrupted
the westerner. "you must have read OF
Pete Webster's daughter The Web
sters live two blocks north Of the court
house In Topaz City. Miss Tillie Web
Ster. she slept forty days and nights
without waking up The doctors said
that
"Pass the matches. please" said the
New Yorker, "Have you observed the
expedition with which new buildings
are being run up In New York; In
proyed Inventions In steel framework
and
"I noticed" said the Nevadian, shat
The statistics Of Topaz City showed
only one carpenter crushed by falling
timbers last year. and he was caught
In Il cyclone"
They abuse our skyline" continued
the New Yorker. land 1t Is likely that
we are not yet artistic In the construc-
ton of our buildings. But | can safely
assert that we lead In pictorial and
decorative art In some Of our houses
can be found masterpieces in the way
Of paintings and sculpture. One who
has the entree to our best galleries Will
find"-
"Back up! exclaimed the man from
Topaz City. There was game last
month in our town in which $4,000
changed hands on a pair Of
@Ta.romt.tara!' went the orchestra.
The stage curtain. blushing pink at
the name Asbestos" inscribed upon 1t.
came down with slow midsummer
movement The audience trickled
leisurely down the elevator and stairs.
On the sidewalk below. the New
Yorker and the man from Topaz City
shook hands with. alcoholic gravity
The elevated crashed raucously. sur
face cars hummed and changed. cab
men swore, newsboys shrieked. wheels
clattered ear piercingly. The New
Yorker conceived happy thought
with which he aspired to clincb the
pre-eminence of his city.
"You must admit" said he. "that In
the way Of noise New York Is far
ahead Of any other
"Back to the Everglades" said the
man from Topaz City. I'm 1900.
when Sousa's band and the repeating
candidates were In our town you
Couldn't
The rattle of an express wagon
drowned the rest Of the words.
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