The Washington herald., 1914-05-22
Statesmea. Real and Near.
BY FREp g KELLY.

SsoSSSme0e MN s0W0 BVSo1s
BY FRED c. KELLY.
When William 9. West. now . sena-
tor from Georgia. was teaching school
down In the Southland he had occasion
several times to reprimand one Of his
girl pupils. And q mere reprimand did
not do much good. She was a pretty
little rascal and so full of life that
sne was constantly getting into pranks
that upset the calm, studious decorum
West wished to maintain. One day West
told her that II she did any more whisp-
ering he would feel Obliged to give her
whipping. She merely giggied merrily
at that threat, and within FIVE minutes
was whispering once more to a girl
across the aisle.
West bade her step up In front. He
had told her he would whip her. and
he left obliged to make good. 1t is
not altogether chivalrous for a strong
man to infiict corporal punishment on a
young girl. especially when she happens
to be both plump and pretty. but dis
cipline Is discipline, and West had start
ed out to be a martinez. Still he hesi-
tated when II came right to the point
OF taking a switch. and inficting pain
in the same ruthless way that he did on
unruly boys. As q compromise meas
ure he picked up ruler and smacked
the mischievous young creature several
only moderately severe blows on the
palms of the hands.
She was a game little scamp and did
not cry as most girls would have done.
Instead. she stamped a pretty little foot
and scornfully declared:
''Ill get even with you for that
After she had resumed her seat, West
wondered IL he had really hurt her when
he smacked her little hands. 1t did seem
like shame to cause suffering to one
so thoroughly attractive. He had never
noticed before how really pretty she was.
The next day. and the next, while ap-
parently glarirg at the school to preserve
order, West was in reality staring ut
just one pupil and wondering how he had
ever overlooked the fact that she was
about the prettiest young person he
knew.
Time went on and West quit teaching
school, but he kept up an acquaintance
with few Of his pupils. particularly witb
the young girl whom he had smacked on
the hands with a ruler Gradually he
made a wonderful discovery with regard
to her, viz; that the oftener he called on
her the more he would see her. So he
called frequently.
Several times during this period she
laughingly recalled the schoolday Incl
dent and repeated her threat that she
would get even with him some day.
After the lapse of some years they we're
married. Just after the ofliciating clergy
man had finished his part of the en-
tertainment. Mrs. West looked up at her
new husband with funny twinkle and
said:
Il told you I'd get ever with you
Representative Walter II. Chandler,
OF New York, mailed a certain letter
a few years ago to a friend in Ger
many The friend had changed his ad-
dress and the letter was sent back TO
Chandler by the German postoffice au-
thorities. II was delayed in reaching
him, however, because the steamer
that carried the mail met with mishap
and went to the bottom of the Allan
tic. In the course of time. divers went
and ransacked the ship for treasure
and the mail was brought back to the
surface. The writing on Chambers
letter was still legible and il was re-
mailed to him with fresh stamp. He
felt that a letter that had been to the
bottom of the ocean and then recover
ed, ought to be given every reasonable
chance to reach its original destina-
tion. and so he mailed il once again to
his friend in Germany, along with an
added paragraph of explanation.
The friend must have been an ex-
ceptionally polite person. because he
wrote back as follows:
You will pardon my long delay in
answering your letter. for. II. rs you
say. II remained at the bottom of the
ocean several months before reaching
me, I really could not have replied any
sooner"
Whenever Oscar Underwood goes on
a speaking trip down in Alabama, or
anywhere else. he finds himself the VIC
tim of a reception committee which
desires to show him what costly autos
they are able to provide for visiting
statesmen and how rapidly such autos
can go from one place to another. The
reception committee imparts this notion
of hospitality to the chauffeur and the
chauffeur does all in his power to make
Oscars life miserable. For Underwood
does not like to ride fast in an auto. The
one thing he Is timid about is moving
too rapidly with strange chauffeurs. He
never shows any timidity-he is too calm
for that-but all the time he is riding
fast he sits and wonders what kind of
shape he will be in when the coroner
or the ambulance comes to pick him up
from the side of the road.
During his last campaign, Underwood
asked to be permitted to ride in the front
seat with the chauffeur on a trip be-
tween towns. The chauffeur at once pro-
ceeded to send the outfit along at the
rate of forty miles an hour. Under
wood. feeling extremely Ill at ease, but
never showing 1t. turned to the chauffeur
after they had gone mile or two, and
asked in his calm smiling way:
Can this make OF machine go slow
as well as fast?''
Certainly" replied the operator.
Then suggested Oscar, still per-
fectly calm. Tets try going SLOW"
Copyright. 1914. By Ffod c. Kelly. AL hshts
reseued)