Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1914-04-06
GERMAN RED TAPE
A Most Irritating Brand Is Used
In the PoStofficeS.
SENDING A PARCEL BY MAIL.
Experience of an English Tourist Who,
With Joyous Confidence, Undertook
to Perform What Was Supposed to
Be a Perfectly Simple Operation.


Be a Perfectly Simple Operation.
In all innocence and lightness of
heart | set out one morning to send
small parcel TO England from the town
in Germany where was staying. At
the poStottice | was confronted by
three booking office windows. each
having weird and formidable inscrip-
ton over it. These Inscriptions were
not to be comprehended at glance:
so, not wishing to gaze up at them too
long. | selected the least crowded win
dow and handed over my parcel. 1t
was promptly returned to me with
curt $50 to the next window" 1t
was just that window specially wish
ed to avoid. being the most crowded
but waited my turn and then made
another attempt The official looked
at me sternly.
Have you the circularsY' he asked
NO" | replied family.
He handed me three circulars. for
which | had to pay small sum and
which was requested to fin up. Pick
ing up my parcel, | sat down to study
those circulars. They were covered
with instructions, the language used
was magnificent, and the effect was
so overwhelming that | found it diff
cult to grasp what | was instructed
to do. If my papers were not filed up
accurately 1t was not from untruthful-
ness, but owing to my limited German
vocabulary.
BY the time | had described the
parcel, the gross weight thereof in
grams and Kilograms, the gross
value thereof in marks and pfennigs
and given a detailed description of
each article contained therein. with
its separate weight and value, felt
like an old inhabitant of that postoffice.
l had seen, as 1t were, generation after
generation Of stamp purchasers come
and go, and still l remained. AS to
the weights, my idea of Kilograms
! was about on a par with my knowl-
edge Of definite integrals. However, l
did my best. | guessed at the prob
able weight Of the parcel and divided
the articles into II.
| At length | came to the end, and.
feeling like candidate at an exam
lnation, / gathered up my papers and
the parcel and went over TO the win
dow. After waiting my turn handed
over the papers. The official glanced
at them, then at the parcel, and
frowned
"Did you weigh the artlcles7" he
asked sternly.
"Ya-a-a! ] stammered.
Then go home and weigh them
again. You have put them down at
half n TONI
There was no help for 1t. With
sigh l gathered up my papers and
went back to secluded corner. After
patiently reducing all the weights /
again presented the papers. This time
they were passed, and | was sent on
to the next department. where had
to purchase and I'LL up another docu-
ment. was now getting into form,
and this paper. was soon dealt with.
Then. with my heart beating fast,
handed over the parcel. 1t was once
more returned to me. The official said
he could not take it in that condition
1t was insecurely made up.
Now, IL there is one thing upon which
1 pride myself 1t is upon the neat way
In which | turn out a parcel SO,
smothering my Indignation as weir as
i could / assured him that it would
be all right that II was perfectly safe
and that there was nothing in it which
was breakable. He repeated firmly
, that It was insecure and that he could
not take 1t. SO | sadly collected my
papers and the parcel and went home
to dinner.
spent all the afternoon trying to
purchase cardboard box OF exactly
the right proportions and some water
proof cloth to wrap round It, next
procured a stick of sealing wax and a
German seal, and by the time | had
finished that parcel looked as IL II
were prepared TO travel to the north
pole.
1t was now getting toward evening
and l was feeling wearied after my
days work, so besought my brother
"a willing. guileless youth-to take II
to the postofiice. He took 1t so limo
Gently that my conscience reproached
me for not having given him a word
Of warning. He was long time gone
but that was to be expected. When
I saw him come In my heart sank in
despair.
They won't take II like this" ht
= said cheerfully.
groaned and asked:
r "Why notT'
q There's not enough sealing wal
on It,"
-. "Not enough sealing wax?' cried
incredulously.
mo. You must put blob wherevel
o the string crosses and wherever there's
n n knot"
In desperation seized the sealing
wax and worked away until | hat
used II to the last speck and the par
Gel was one intricate mass OF strinl
y and wax. Then conveyed Il ono,
" / a., sh.. A n.