The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1914-02-10

Tommy Shawn" sa1o Mr. Dootey. i
asked Mr.. Hennessy.
..sure We do" said Mr.. Dooley. Hes
that red headed boy that used to play
third base on tn brothers school
nine. But now he's sicrety iv tn en- |
bassy iv tn United States iv America
10 tn rifle coort iv ~Poosylanya, no less. |
lie is that. He won tn Apartment
on his merits, fr he's tn best tango |
dancer west Nv HalSted sthreet an he
was thryin' to get a seat in tn ligis-
sachure away firm O'Brien's son-in-
law. Barrin' an income firm father,
there's nc surer path to a diplomatic
career thin to want a good job at
home that somebody else is hOldin'.
IT'S sthrange-how often a vaultin' am
bition FIR an infeeryor office will Ian
a man in something betther. I wanst
knew Nv a fellow that got to be sicre-
Nv Nv the navy because he wanted to
be a congressman firm massachusetts.
Who's tn am~bassadure? says we.
Why, our frind Pickles Schwartkop,
that hardened old Dimmycrat who re-
fused to weara necktie because he
said il was a badge iy Sarvichood
NANNY people used to all Pickles n
arnychist a he spoke SO harsh
about tn crowned heads iv Europe.
An no wan liver thought iv him liver
bowin' his head in a rile coort, al
though he's q great expert at sourin'
IN cucumber an his name lisa house.
hold wurrud WHEREVER ketchup is used.
But he niver know nawthin' about
pollyticks an he nachrally become an
original Wilson man. TIL family had
him watched fr other signs Nv in
sanity up to tn time with cOnvintiOn,
an thin tn docks stopped holdin' a
light to his eyes al testin' his knee
Jerk, an he become a great statesman,
an ayen O'Brien wipt around to see
MIN. Afther tn iliction Dock Wilson
stint fr him an said it was his desire
10 put lithry men in tn diplomatic
corps an he'd been readin' Schwartz
kop's advertiser matter an admired
II gr-reatly an wud like him to pick
out a place fr himsilf abroad. Pickles
was modest an on'y asst to be minis
ter to Germany, but whin it vas pint
ed out to him that tn German improl
had socyal objections to atm at tn
same tablewith his formersubjicks hs
consinted TO be hitched to the vacan
post at Poosylaya, an there he i.
now, upholdin' tn honor iv tn flag
while Tommy S!avin keeps alive tn
best Traditions iv our turkey throd
Anyhow, here the letter: Care,
Miguel (which names Dear Mike")
Me an his i~xcillincy arrived here SAT
las week. Poosylvanya is not as larg,
a. country as O'Brien r~iprisinted it t.
me. To tell tn thruth, it's that small
that If tn injyneer iy the thrail
hadn't put On tn emargenC.
brakes at tn borders we wud've gon
through it befure we cud stop. tt
principal INDUSTRIES are market gar
denim, brewin', tn army, tn govern
mint, an tn tailor who makes tt
UNIFORMS. It's what is known owe
here as buffer state, because It
placed between two great power
that are always threatenin' to clincf
Nachrally it's been squeezed dow
lntt ,~x, I.
they have 10 use a tattoin' needle.
TIL iv this domain
which stretches as far as tn eye ca
see, is his majesty King Charleymane
tn Forty-fifth, a splendid figure iv
man, meaSurin' at Taste five be wa
He's tn last iv his race. an whin /
kicks out tn peopel will have to &
shippin' fr a king in Denmark. whe,
they a a hand me down store
monarchs that amy country can
to an get fitted FIR an anointed rule
There was some opposition to hi
whin he come in on tn ground that ]
had niver been able to larn to spt
an was given to THROWN fits in put
tic, but him bein' tn on'y mimber
tn rile family thin at large they hs
TO take him.
An there he sets, presidin' ov
tn destinies iv this proud people a
supported be a socyaliStic parlymi
thot dOSOAUtcIy QOeS MS DiuOlQS attn
II has told him what to bid. He h
forty UNIFORMS, is a colonel in twint
two Euro-peen rigimints. carries
Soord a has give him a bad list
starboard, an his fav-rite sport
sthringin' buttons. He has tn Lar
est collection iy buttons in tn WI
rul 1t is a noble sight to see h
clingin' to a snow white charger 8
reviewin' tn Po~osylanyan arm
which Is almost as big as tn Fath
Matthew Fife an Dhrum corps. E
he has to be watched all tn time
keep him firm cuttin' tn buttons
his UNIFORMS In putin thin On
stirring. ] make a great hit with h
be sindin' him me own modest coll
ton that I'd pried firm tn coats
tn officers Nv tn Law in Chicago VIII
they lay asleep.
'Bu yen want to know how