davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1914-02-12

wick county under the old convention
system the rural communities were
given more representation than under
the primary. At present all of our
county officers are residents of the city
of Wichita excepting the county super
intendent of public instruction.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1914-06-18
Gerit.-Ho. Q Griihiabrs SO :
Zoe. Ho. 3 bo. go -65c per Hu.
Wbisfn.

Dsrfauft ipurben 536 gbls. Dis
itilers ssiniibeb @oobs auf Der Bats
bon $1.35 per @allone.
Groceries.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1914-06-18

&Glber.-8ei nur mGBiger gu
fubr mar Der Wiarft beute fart.
Orbindre unb arobe S5.5o-9.50,
fair bis CUTE Ieihte $7.50-9.75, g1s
ira $40.
S6peine. Die ,3ufu9r ipar
siemli6 srob unb Der Wtartt mar nil
Zig. Die preiie Itanosn am S6lub
Inn 5-10e unter benen bon geitern.
9luserleisne fdpere 9eriunbts unb
quite bis auserleisne 9erpadungss
uno Tleii9eriorten $8.20-8.25, or
oinGre Bis anserlsienej i6tpere fette
SGus $5.50-7.35, gttra $7.40;
Gtags $4.50-6.25, lei6te unb mitte
Iere gerianbtiorten $7.65 -8.15;
Sertsl DON 10 pfuno uno Denissr
$6.00-9.80.
S9afe unt Gdmmer.-Ois
Na6frage mar eine quite unb Die
preiie itetig.
S6afe. .-@rtra leidte $4.85; CUTE
bis auserleisne $4.50-4.75, oroinGre
bis fair $500 - 440; Jrubjabrsz
2Gmmer $6.5O-9.35.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1914-06-18
Gum llntsrsans Der pempreR
Of SrelanS".
Bon Gireftor g 3, Gbef Der
Gautiideu slbtbeiIung Der SaH-
burg.almerifa 2inie.

Inter Dem Ginoruf bes gelpnltl9en
Shiiisunaliids, Dem elmer Der belttn
Gantpier Der Canadian &acitic SInIe
gum Spier iiel, miro elm ieoer 6lerlt
mad, Sen llriateu Der aataltroppr
foriten. @ir ipiiIen ans benz oorlie'
aenocn Radriften, oaB ieoenfalls Der
oui oem Ct. 2oren5iIuiie berri6enoe
bidte 0ebeI gnlab 5u Der idperen
aoaiiion 5piiten Der YGmpreB Of
cS,relano" uno Dem YStcrItao" se9c'
ben bat. Die bon Der canaoii6en nc
aierllng in ausiidt eenommene Spe'
3ialfommiiiion iptrb lid nit Der amt
lid)en llntcriuhrng bes Sales 81 be-
idlditigen haben, uno mir tonnen
iiter iein, Sab ieitens Der gtegicrlln9
ales aetban weroen piro, Inn Die
S6ulofrage 5u fldren, ioiern bel bent
0idten geebeI uno iiiirmil6en @etter
l. 3t. 6es uniaas iiberbultpt cine
ScbuIS ser Siibrlng eines ODER betoer
Gdiiie beieemeiien peroen fann.
Gs biirfte fiir meitclte arelie oon
beionSerem Sitereiie iein, ilber Die
idapierigen @inb., g9etter. rno
Stromperb1Itniiie unS 6ie oaraus re-
iultierenSe aciabrpoue Raoigation IN
ben fanaSiifen @erudiiern, uor oaem
aui Dem ct. 9nreu5itrom lmo '8olf
mo in ser StraBc pom 9ele Ssle,
Der noro6Itlifen EaIiage 5il lmo noH
Dem 9ltIontiideu G5eaH 81 boreh.
Die Stiffabrt i'm ct. SOrcn5goIT als
3uiobrtsitrabe su oeu beioen Saupt'
bdien Quebec unO a)iuntreal, III uur
etrpa BON slnfang Mat bis Gnoa No'
pen,ber oiien; pabrenb Scr iibrigen
Ssobresseit biubert oidtes Gaf' uno
S6plleneis jeoen gerfebr. Sn Der 10
SeelneiIen brcitcu @elle eSsleItraBc
iieht oas Eadeis uicliad bis liittc
Ssuli, uno fs lit nidlts llngcw0bnIideS,
oab gisberge bas ganse eSabr bln'
ourd ben 3usanq Str StrnBe Seit.
ipeilig ,uieten; befabrcn nirb lie bon
gniang e,uli big gum ShIuB Der
Stiiiobrt Gn6e Nopenlber
Sic an0ere etrpa % SeemeiIen
treite gaiia9c 5uln ct. 2crcr5goIf
gebt ourh Die Meerenae 8lpiidlen Der
iiioweitIifen Spite gfeuflinolanos
mo Der n0rbIifiteu Spibe bon Cape
Breton 3slonb, Der iogenanntcn Ga'
botitraBe, binburb.
Guoe Ipril Els glniana Wloi be-
ginnt oic Gistriit. Die aeitrpeiie 10
ihtpere unS erobe Sfoaen ino gis'
ieIoer, ia ai,d Gisberee nit iih fiibrt,
oaf es MIR Gautpfern nit grober Wta.
ibinenfrait moelid lit, iid 0urd'
fabrt au peridafien. Sfip1dere Gam.
pier iinb nnter ioIfcn llmitGnben &c.
swunseH ii9 treiben gu laiierk OoerI
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1914-06-18
Jluk'N NaHri6ten.
Donnerit ag, 18. SUM

Donner IT. g, lS. sJunI 1914.
csm Gineinnatier Oiitritt il. Der
sSlub langIam i'm 1alIeu Ngriffen.
9eitern 4benb bate berielbe bel bieiis
ger Stabt einsn Waferitano bon 11.9
SUB.
Die folgsnben DspeIhen traTen nab
renb bss seitrigeu Saaes bier elm:
pittsburs, pa.-5.7 SUB, itatlOndr.
Wbeelins, W. Oa.-7 Sub uno Iteigt.
partersbura, %. 8a.-3.9 uno fdut.
&analpba Joas, W.9a.-63oa, fdat.
Gbarleitpn, 20. @a.-6.9 unb fdllt.
portsmoutb. O.-5.5 SUB uno fdQt.
aouispile, ap.-8.5 unb fGat.
Gpanspile. Sno.-6.8 Sub, itationdr.
HaIbpi(le, 3enn.-S.8 uno itsigt.
CHATTANOOGA, 5enn.-6.6 SUP, fdllt.
Cairo, Slls.-16.6 uno iteigt.
Rempbis, Isnn.-12.3 uno fdllt.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1914-06-18
3dglider Wtarftberi@t.
@iaeinnati, II. Suni.

= etaetnnati, IL. Suui.
Die nadfOIssnoen Nuotirunsen be.
sisben iid nur auf GnsroB Srans.
attionen. Bel tlsineren Gel4dfteu
psrosn stpas bObere preiIe kr.dnst.
prDiiiOnen
Der Wartt mar rubis. pr.iis iietis.
9 d m Ia. - prtml Stedm
9.80-9.90e {. o. b.
9rodensefal5enes Gteifd.
Sbort clear Seiteu 12-123c. ibort
Rippsnf.iten 11a-12e, srtra ibort
clear Geiten 112--12c. SGuItern II
-114e. Bellies 13t-13ae Ioie unb
Dc mebr perpadt.
Bacon Sbprt clear Geiteu
|13-133c. ilirse Rippenfeitm 12a--
'13c. ertra ibort clear Geitsn 12i-
13c. Sdult.rn 12--123c unb Bellies
14h--14ac lcfs unb 4e per pfunb
|mebr perpddt.
Suaal Gureb Treifd. -
Stin.en 16-16ae. pienic Shult.rn
'12a-13e, gr.atf.it Bacon 19-2oc,
Ghult.rn 12a-13c. glstp yorl Gut
G6ultern 12b-13e. trpdsne Beef
Sdinlsn $27.00-28.0O.
GibaepStelteg GItif6.-
Sfintsn 13t-14e. picnic Gduliern
10a-11e. Bellies 15-16c, Sdultern
11--11lc. Tsp gort Gut 11--11tc.
Nrifdes Ht.ift. - G6fn.
ten .13a-14e, g,ienic.S6uIisrn 1oh
lie, ShuIt,rR 10i-11c. fort
Rippeufei.eu 11-11ae, fort clear
|Stitsn 1l-l1sc. .rtrn fbort Gsiten
10a-11c. Bellies 13a-15Ae pro
pfunb.
Wehl unb 9etreibe.
WebI.-Winier pat.nt S4.25-
4.50. Wintsr Jaaep $3.90-4.15, ho.
SamiIp S3.20-3.50, grtru $500 -
BIS, orbinarss S2.75-2.95. Sarter
Weissn patent $3.75-3.90. bo. fanep
S3.85-4.25. bp. 1omilp S3.5O-3.75.
Hoaasnmsbl. norbipeitIi6 gemiIhtes
$3.75-3.90. rsines gitp S4.10-
4.20. semiittes $3.So-4.1O per Dbl.
Weiaen. - 30. 2 rottxr Winter
93-34ac. Ro. 8 DO. 91-92Ac, 30. a
rotbsr 5000.
Wslfdforn, 20. Q p.ib.s
77-77ae. Ro. 3 ipeibss 76a Tic.
9o. 4 bo. 74A-75te, go. 2 ssIbss
74--74tr. Ro, 3 DO. 73s-74c. glo. 4
bo. 72-73c. No. 2 aeniifftes 73s-
74c. 30. 3 bo. 73-73Ae. yo. 4 bo.
71t-72ac per gu. gBsibss aoIbsn.
torn 7S-79e. aslbes DO. 78-79s,
aemiihtes bo. 77-7Sc.
Safer.-Ho. 2 ipeibsr 421-43c,
Stanbarb psibsr 42-42ae. glo. 8
ipeibst 41--41bc. go. A fusiBsr 40 -
41c. no. 2 demifdtsr 40t-41c,
No. 3 bo. 40-40Ae. 80. A DO. 39i--
40,.
RpGaen. ~ glo. 2 67-69c. Hp.
8 bo. 64-66s. 30. 4 bp. 60--63c,
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1914-06-18
Qlusldnbiihe Nahrihten

@umS Sabat. r9as aemeinite
Mittel Der Ret5una BON Sinnsnem'
pfiuSunsen 1T Der Subat, es Ist ibn
su Idnupfen, ober burd pfeiienrobrs,
oosr. ipie Islbit bas ipanii6e 5rauen'
simmer in Gina. ollrf rinen onae'
Siinoeten Giearro gu rau6er", dlio
i6rieb Smmanusl Sant. aber ben
@du6er broudt bus burte urt6eil oes
aDnigsberssr DsiIsn ni4t gu Itmsrs
sen, 6enn Rant islbit ihnupfte nnc
raubte 9feife. Sn dbnIiher Welit
tpie &ant ihsint 9Oltuire iiber ben
Sabat aeba6t gu babsn. glIs ies
monb gu ibm iaste, Der Sdbut lei Der
erDbte Ssinb Der Wenitbsit, eripi'
berte Der ipibiee pbiloirpb: rSupobl,
aber perseFsn sic nidt, buB es ees
bJten ift, uni.re Geinbs gu lieben.'
~oIitpi, Der Suerit Elm itdrter Rouder
mar. Ihrieb ipdtsr: .Oas Rifotir
f6ldfert bas @efpiFsu Elm. Das 8es
burinib su rau4en pG9it nit bem
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1914-06-18
/. G6icasp Gus, II. Suni.

Gbicasp, Sls., II. SUM-.
Dsi5sn.-5iir SuIi 824-S3sc, am
Sdlub S2sc; fiir September 500
S1ar, am Sdlub S14c.
Weli6torn.-Giir Sult 69s-703c,
am S6lub 704e; fir September 663
-67ec, am Ghlub 67ac.
Safer.-5iir Suli 38l-39lc. am
SdluB 1896; fir September 37a-
38c, am Sdlub 38c.
ROggen.-giO. 3 64s-e5c,
@erite 50-62e.
SimOtbp $4.25-5 $50.
Glee Sob.
pprt $2o.65.-5ir Suli $2O.60-
20.75, am S6lub $20.75; fir Stps
tsmber $19.92-2017, am S9lub
$2O.17. ,a
S6mal5 $10.o5.-5iir Suli s10.02
-1O.12, am sdIub $10.l0; fiirSeps
tsmb.r S10.20-10.27, am SaIub
$10.27.
RippeuIeiten S11.0O--11.62. Sir
SuIi $11.37-11.52, an GhIuB Sill
so; fir September $11.42-11.55,
am Stlub $l1.55.
Butter uno gisr limb unperdnSert.
&die lit bDbsr i'm preiit. Ddiiies
14l-149c; 5pins 144-14ac; ames
ricas 154-15sc; Gong Sorns 154-
15ac.
aartoffsln iino bDbsr i'm prsiis.-
9lIte 1885,; nsue $1.10-1.30.
Gefliiael. - 2e6eubes unpsrGnosrt.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1914-06-18
Chicago. Sag.. II. SSuni.

Sdneine. .-3ufubr $4,000. preiie
niebriger. Die mei6en @ertdufe bra4s
ten $8.15-8.25; Ieidte $S.00-8.25;
9emiIdte $8.00-S.30, idnere $7.85
-8.27t; rauhe $7.85-8.00; Serfel
$700-7.S0.
9tinbpieb. .-3ufubr 14,0O0. Wurtt
itstig. gsepss $7.35-9.35, Stiere
$6.8O-8.15; Stoders uno 5eebers
$6.10-8.10; &iibe unb Seifers $3.50
-8.70; &dlbsr $7.27-10,35.
S6afe. 3ufubr $4,000. Wlartt
I6na6. Sfafe $5.30-6.40; Sdbrs
linqe $6.30-7.50; admmsr $3.50
$50; 5riibiabrs admmer $7.25-
9.75.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1914-06-18
sas, r,n,s m, vrn,n = NV ss,f.

NV DsuSS nus StttsH W W. Dssss
@elb .on cal1 wurce 80 ~ = ~ aus
aelieben.
Yrima Gsiaiftspapiers wuroen bu 8K--
~ biSfpHtiyt.
Sttrfinagrhansei m fetig.--6idt
~ ns4.sSX-4seT uRo Commercial Ju H.s6
-4S61.
BanjeJ. Obfilattontr paren
itetig unD fuursen wie folgt qnotirt:
Der. StaaisH Hsfvnoirnng . OF - 9s,
gsb.. ~ reoiitrirte l09K-110X geb., Cor.
pons iio-111H 81 rsgijtrirts lS1 H-101,
Coupons te1 Y - 102, banana Megiitereo
9sS " eet.. bu. Coupon 81. 1o0--102.
aftienma rft.--gs ipurbe beute elm
iiarier 9rnd gum Yerfauien ausseibt uno
bic 1reiie batfen tHiolsebsisn 5u IeibeH,
belonbsrs wurben Union uno Niiiouri pa.
eifie ionie II. 2. gteel tart in 9Ritleibeu.
fhait sejoseu. Die Shlubnotirunssn sr.
eabeH fait burhweg eerIufs.
eiisabasa Aitiss.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1914-06-18
Metan. Ntarft.
Rsp p ort, II. SUM-.

Rem DDrt. II. Suni.
aupfsr.-Wartt flau. 4m plab
uno fir ausuit $13.37-13.87; glecs
troI1ic $13.S7-14.00. Cat. npmis
neu. Gaitinus S13.75--13.87.
3inn. - Wartt feit gu 5000
30.50.
elntimonp.-1lartt ilau. GoOtiOn's
81. .25-7.37.
giien. - War,t rubia uno unOer'
anbert.
glei. = Wurtt rubig au 1885,
3.95.
SpsIter. - Rartt flau au s5.05-
5.15.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1914-06-18

6sc, bo. gountrp 5s-esc per pfunb.
&obIen.-Wartt rubis. Dough-
bioabenp $3.50-3.75, NuB unb Glad
1925, adnaipba Stiidtoblsn $3.50
3.75. Nub unb Glad 1925 - 2.35
per Sonne abgelisfert. Rau6loie
Stiidtoblea $3.50, antbracite $7.75
per 9onne abgeliefert. Gote toit.t
$6.OO-6.5O per Sonns abaeliefert.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1914-06-18
a,pnt Welou.arrt.
GtnetnnatL IL auni 1914.

Hte Welddiie paren bsute lsbbaiter ols
On btu psrbergebenrtu Gagen Der @p4e,
uno Welb NJ ipiIliger, ba bic Banfen bin
ldngIide Jonos On Sano baben. ;Sir Tar
Isbsn on CALI murben pDn ben Banten A.
4Hso bsrednet unb gei4dttspapiers iuuroen
~ b--8% bisicntirt. Sie aRafler plasiren
Iarleben ON caus Su 8H -4SS uno aui
8ett " ~.
nsAid sni View Dsri
surbeH 81 Hari 5Diidsn Banten periauit.
9w 9ountsrrats bttrast soc gramis per
$1,000.
Bshfd auI GHrspa
tino iistis. - Die iOlssnben Guotirunssn
limb ~ bsridten:
sonbon, Tase eidt, s4.9o per G; 90
1dee Stff, S4.8S per q; paris, 9age
Stht oi4 Grancs per s1e0; 80 Tage Giff,
bio Trancs per 500; fur 9eutidlane, 4
fagt S'dt Mari s554. oo. 60Tage Sidt
S4Ke
documentary Bills auf 9onbon purben
AZ N.s554, auf Glasgow ,u $4.s5 n unb auf
Helfait 81 s4.s54 periauft.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1914-06-18
Nusipdrtige Wtdrfte.
Rem 9Ort. II. SUM.
W!ebl.-Wartt rubis unb taum ite.

tia.
Rogaenme6l. -Nartt ru6ig.
Waismebl. l.-Wartt itstig,
Rogaen. n.-Warft ru5ig.
@erite. -Wartt itetig.
Deiaen.-Wartt f6pd6er. go. 2
barter Wintsr 973c {. /. I. 8en gort;
go. 2 rotber nener 90ac Suli Der
ianot; No. / Rortbern DULUTH $1.O0d
unO yio. / Wortbern Wauitoba $1.O24
I. o. b. i6tpimmenO.
Welidtorn.-Wartt i6lpa9; 0o. 2
ssIbes S04e c. |. (. prompt.
5afer.-Wlartt rubig.
!0eu.-Warft rubtg.
Sopfsn.-Martt ru6is.
SGuts. Martt niQtg. gosota %
-29c; Central 4msripa 2Sc.
Geber.-Warft fsit.
port.-Warft Itstig.
Yeef.-Wartt rubig.
Gut Meats.-Wnrtt ftetig.
Shnal5. 5.-Wartt itetis. Mibble
Weit $10.10-10.20. Raffinirtss rus
fig. COMPOUND itstig.
Salg.-Wartt fIau.
9aumpolliaamen0l. - Wartt ipilz
Zig. prima Somlner oelbss $7.20.
Wolle. .-Wartt ietig.
6ars.-Wartt rubig.
3erpentin. - Wartt felt. Watine
Barrels SOC.
eis.-Wartt ru6ig.
WOlafes.-Martt fIuu.
3uder. - Rober itstis. WOlaiIes g.
80c; Centrifugal 1850. Raffinirter
itetlg.
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1914-06-18

@er I'm gtruf iclu Sienciih trapaal.
rem. oocr of ipdt alfbicihen ober bern lin
nciier iidb auScBcn mnb Der piro leldt eiHe
6ridllna oort butch TidHeblcr Elm QlaaeHlet-
ben belummen elninnas mua has llcbel urbe.
beuteuo ertcbcinen last man &c ieopd uHiteberi.
70 fam eS Biir pefdbrIiten aruNibet perhefi.
garum trefie man rehiseiiipr Woriebunqeri.
Mot nnr uIs 'ldhcres Setlmiitel fpnbcrn ailh
ale uuerfnnntcI Gd,uB ueaeH nlle bird ilurepel-
mdbipc obet nnlgiirennic qcbensfpetfe eniiiehcu.
ben abrperfbel ftnh ct Rernrrh athf
terptIIen nnibdBbar. Slr % Gerts bel
spetbeisrH su baben. ~
TaÌˆgliches Cincinnatier volksblatt. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1885-1919, 1914-06-18
Wiebmdrfte.

Cincinnati, II. Suni.
3ufubr unb geriauot ipdbrens Der
perflOFensn "a Stunben, persiiben
NIT ben porberssbsHben 2 9assu, ma
rem pie folgt:
3ufubr: Rinbp. Sdpeins. sdafs.
10. Auni 1926 4069 BIB
16. Suni 1T 2790 606l
II. Suni :. 476 4120 $3.50
0erianbt pGbreno ,bsrielkn 3eit:
RinoD. Sdmsine. Saafe.
10. Suni 128 1882 3145
l6. :uni :. $50 2060 1858
II. Suni :. 100 1894 5377
Rinbbieb. - Die Rahfrass mar
cine sismIi5 quite uno bic prsiie itetis
Bis itGrter. = Wilatiibe iparen ftsiia.
Wittlere unb i6tuere Stisre $7.25
1926, auserleisne biz ertra $S.35-
S.65; Odisn $3.50-6.50, SleiId,rs
Stiere $5.75-S.25; 5eifers $5.25-
8.15, auserleient biz ertrd $8.25-
$50, aiibe $3.25-6.25, Grtra $3.50
-6.75; Gamers $3.25--4.25; Gut
ters $4.25-5.50; Stpders unb See
bus $500 - 7.75, Stpd Seifers
$5.50-6.50; Stod aiibe $3.50
5.75.
guIIen.-Gie 3ufubr mar &C.
ring unbI Der Wtar,t fart Bel ettpas
bSbersn preiien.
Masere unb lsidte $5.00-5.75,
Bologna $5.85-6.75. ertra $685..
feiie 9uIIen S6.75-7.00.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-20
Stories With a Smile
Youthful Critic.

4 TITLE Wendell Holmes Emerson
s. of Boston was resting sedately
with his book in the park shortly
after picnic dinner. He had eaten
too much. He knew perfectly well he
had eaten too much and he was very
much surprised and shocked at himself.
He prayed fervently that no one would
notice his condition.
Just then kindly old lady appeared
and sat down beside him. "Ah,"
thought Wendell, ~ have sadly in
jured her esthetic sensibilities. +"
By this time the kind old lady
was firmly settled. "My little boy"
said she, care you over eighti'
1t was wonderful to see how the
young Mr.. Emerson recovered his dig
nifty. That woman with such out
landish grammar should dare to criti-
else him was unbelievable. "No, ma
dam," said he, proudly. "I have
overeaten!"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-20
Not the Bank,

Mrs. Barrows was worried-that fact
was evident to her husband, although
she endeavored to maintain a cheerful
manner. Before the evening was over,
however, he discovered the cause Of
her anxiety.
"Will," said she. "I am very much
afraid that my bank is in bad way"
elbow foolish, Mabel! Don t let that
cause you moment 8 worry. Why,
it's one of the strongest financial in
stitutions in the state. Whatever got
that idea into your headf"
"Well, it's very strange" replied
Mrs. Barrows, still unconvinced. "They
have just returned a check of mine for
$40 marked No Funds!''
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-20
Lunch Counter Refinement.

The young man who eats all round
the circuit ran against this quick lunch
incident recently:
A fastidious person made his way
charity into the place. A tumbler of
murky water was thumped before him
by the young woman on the other side
of the counter.
"What's yoursf"
"Coffee and rolls, my CIR"
One of those iron heavy, quarter
inch thick mugs of coffee was pushed
over the counter. The fastidious per
son seemed dazed. He looked under
the mug and over it.
"But where is tie sauceri" he in
quired.
"We don't give no saucers here. Il
we did some low-brow'd come pilin
in an drink out of his saucer, an
we d lose lot Of our swellest trade.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-20

upon visitors to his house the greas
extent of his riches.
He was showing caller from the
East through his palatial mansion on
one occasion when they stopped be.
fore handsome plate-glass mirror, OF
massive size, above the fireplace IN
the drawing room.
"See that mirror'" asked the pack
er, "it cost me just ten thousand dol
lars,"
"Heavens!" exclaimed the visitor,
duly impressed. Then, after a carefui
examination of the article, he added:
"But what pity it is scratched!
eyes," said the packer carelessly'
Then, turning to his wife, he said:
MARY, perhaps you'd better not let
the children have any more diamonds
to play with. "
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-20
Like a Philosopher.

John, JOHN" exclaimed little Mrs.
Jones, as she rusned into her hus-
bands library in state of great agi-
tation and excitement, what do you
think the cook has donef"
Cant imagine came the reply.
"Forgotten to break something-ehi"
Mrs. Jones wrung her hands.
"Oh, John, do be serious!" she
begged. "Cook actuslly poured petrol
on the kitchen fire 60 make it burn
upl"
"Petrol! Petrol! And didn t it ex-
plode"
"Yes-I should think it did! 1t
nearly blew the silly woman through
the window"
ooh, WELL" mused the husband, "it
wouldn't really have mattered if it
had blown her quite through, would
it' This is her afternoon out anyway,
l believe"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-20
For Sake Of Another.

The case had been long protracted
and was going none too well for ehe
defendant. His counsel, therefore, had
recourse to bullying methods
One of the plaintiffs witnesses, q
notorious old jailbird, had just left the
box, his place being taken by an old
plasterer.
"Have you ever teen in prisonP'
asked the barrister.
eyes, sir" replied the witness
"twice."
"Ahl And for how long, may
askf"
"First time for an afternoon. ''ec
ond time for about an hour. You see
SIR" continued the witness, taking
advantage of the barrister's confusion
~ was sent to prison to whitewast
q cell for lawyer who had been rob
bing his clients
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-20

hospitals distinctly, ma am, and | can
not remember whero each passenger
wants to get off. -
Don t be impertinent. Stop the
car"
The conductor did so and as her
foot left the step, she turned and said:
81 suppose I will have to walk two or
three blocks now
Yes, ma am, in the same direction
as we are going. We haven t reached
Harper Hospital yet. ~
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-20
She Earned It.

In certain home missionary move
ment every participant was to con
tribute 81 that she had earned herself
by hard work. The night of the col
lection of the dollars came and vari-
Gus and droll were the stories of earn
ing the money. One woman had sham
pooed hair, another had made dough
nuts, another had secured newspaper
subscriptions, and so on.
The chairman turned to handsome
woman in the front row.
"Now, madam, it is your turn" he
said. GLOW did you earn your dol
larsn
"I got it from my husband,' she
answered.
"Ohl" said he. "From your hus-
banda There was no hard work about
that"
The woman smiled family.
"You don't know my husband, )"
she said.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-20
Followed Instructions.

She was a little girl and very polite.
It was the first time she had been on
a visit alone, and she had been care
fully instructed how to behave.
eff they ask you to dine with
them," papa had said, "you must say:
mo, thank you, have already
dined. ="
It turned out just IS papa had an,
ticipated.
"Comc along, Marjorie" said her
little friends father. "you must have
. bito with us.
"No, thank you," said the little girl
with dignity; ~ have already bit
ten"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-20
Beginning Early.

"Father," inquired the little brain
twister Of the family, "when will our
little baby brother be able to talkf"
"Oh, when he's about three, Ethel. "
"Why can't he talk now, fatheri"
"He is only baby yet, Ethel.
Babies can't talk"
"Oh, yes, they can, father" insist
ed Ethel, "for Job could talk when
he was a baby"
"Job What do you meant"
eyes" said Ethel. "Nurse was
telling us today that it says in the
Bible: JOB cursed the day he was
born. +"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-20
Johnny's s ,.eason.

The lesson was in multiplication, and
the teacher sought to impress upon lit
tie Johnny that three times two and
two times three amounted to the same
thing.
"Now," said she, "if you could
have two bags with three oranges in
each or three bags with two oranges
in each, which would you choosei''
''The three bags with two oranges
in each," replied Johnny without hesi
tation; "then I'd have one more bag
to bust"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-20
In Five Days.

One of the bosses at Baldwin 8 loco
motive works had to lay off an argu-
mentative Irishman named Pat, so he
saved discussion by putting the dis
charge in writing. The next day Pat
was missing, but week later the boss
was passing through the shop and he
saw him again at his lathe. Going up
to the Irishman, he demanded, fierce
ly:
"Didn't you get my letter."
"Yis, sur, Oh did," said Pat.
"Did you read itf'
"Sure, sur, OF read it inside and
Oh read it outside" said Pat, "and
on the inside yez said I was fired, and
on the outside yez said, Return to
Baldwin g locomotive works in five
days. ;"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-20

Two men were talking Of the hard
times.
"Does your wife ever grieve be.
cause she threw over wealthy man
in order to marry youf" queried Hall.
"Well, she started to once" was
the reply, "but I cured her of it with
out delay"
"I wish you would tell me how"
said Hall.
~ started right in grieving with
her." replied the other, "and I grieved
harder and longer than she did,"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-20
Milk by the Yard.

Virgins is a confirmed practical
joker. The other day he strolled into
the local dairy, and, with a perfectly
solemn face, said:
81 want a yard Of milk!"
The dairyman was no. to be done.
Dipping his finger into the milk, he
drew line Of wet milk along the
counter, and said blandly:
"There you are, sir. Ten cents a
yard" ("
But Virgins got one back, after all.
"Ah, thanks!" he said negligently,
Just roll it up for me, will you7"
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-20
Fully Qualified.

Some time since there was an exami-
nation in a medical college, when one
Of the professors turned to stu
dent.
"And now," said the professor, eff
a person in good health, but who i'm
agined himself sick, should send for
you, what would you dot"
81 would give him something to
make him sick" was the prompt re-
joinder of the student, "and then
administer an antidote."
"Don't waste any more time here,
my boy" proudly exclaimed the pro-
fessor, "but begin practice at once. "
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-08-20
Did as He Was Told.

A woman hustled the length Of
Woodward avenue car and confronted
the conductor: "Didn't I tell you to
let me off at Harper Hospitalf"
~ am calling all the streets and