davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-04-09
CAT DIDN'T COME BACK
At LEAST NOT TO DoMiciLE
WHERE IT BELONGED.
Its Disappearance Something Of Mys-
terry to Mr.. Jones, Though He 10
a Roast Of Beef to
the Good.

Il was found necessary to do away
with the family cat because she had
developed germs and the doctor said
it was dangerous for the children. But
this cat was the children's particular
pet, so il was decided simply to have
her disappear, with no funeral or How
ers or Juvenile tears or tombstone in
the back yard. Accordingly the animal
was chloroformed and then Mr.. Jones
did the remains up in neat parcel OF
convenient shape and took them along
when he started for his place of bust
ness in the city in the morning, intend
ing to drop the package in the river.
In the train before the river was
reached Mr.. Jones saw the package re-
posing in the rack above his head and
determined that was good place to
leave it. So when he started to get out
of the car he did not take the pack
age down.
Hey, there, Jones! You're leaving
your package" called out friend. So
Jones turned back and got the pack
age.
On the boat he was surrounded by
number of friends and realized that to
drop the bundle overheard in their
presence would require lot of expla-
nation and doubtless result in more or
less joking at his expense. So he took
the package to his office with him. He
saw the impossibility of disposing OF
it there and determined to get rid of
it on the boat during the trip back
home.
But there again he was surrounded
by his friends of the morning trip and
took the package to the train with him.
An attempt to get off the car without
1t resulted just as it had in the morn
ing. Mr.. Jones thus found himself
some bundle and he knew the children
would meet him on the front porch and
insist on knowing what it was. Accord
ingly he made his way home across
the back lots, deposited the bundle on
the kitchen porch and finally got to
the front of the house without detec-
ton. Fifteen minutes after he had
seated himself on the front porch with
the solution of his great problem the
cook appeared.
Mrs. JONES'" said she, whats dat
extra roast of beef out on the back
poch?"
Mr.. and Mrs. Jones both went back.
Sure enough the bundle contained a
six-pound roast Of beef.
1t only remains to say this story Is
true one. The thing happened as
here written.
Mr.. Jones is still wondering whether
the man with whom he somewhere ex-
changed bundles had much difficulty in
disposing Of the remains of the dead
cat
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-04-09
USES PECULIAR TOOLS
PHILADELPHIA DENTIST ALSO
HAS UNIQUE PRACTICE.
Called Upon to Alleviate Panss or
Toothaehe Among Denizens Of the
AGO." He ls Not EnvIed by
the Profession.

tom Manley, dentist. Office, Phila-
delphia Zoo. Teeth extracted from ele-
plants, giraffes and boa constructors;
rhinoceros horns removed; wild hos
tusks filed"
This card Is inserted without charge,
says the North American. In the first
place, Manley holds no degree of doc
tor Of dental surgery, SO the zoo is VIC
lating no professional ethics In dis
closing his methods. In the secon1
place, he will probably get no trad
boost from his advertisement. Ono
peep into his office and Laboratory,
where forceps are two feet long AMI
as wicked looking as guillotine,
would be sufficient to brighten away
the biggest bravest iron-jawed patient
In Christendom.
No shiny looking knives and drills
In Manley's kit When he tackles an
aching tooth he arms himself with a
saw, a chisel, a hammer and plenty
of rope. You have to see the two-foot
forceps to understand the meaning OF
the rope. You have to see Manley,
who isn't really dentist, but head
keeper at the zoo, ut work on a three
pound tooth to understand the mean
ing Of everything.
The other day the zoos big boa
constructor got the toothache. Manley
decided the tooth would have to come
out. One OF his assistants threw a
hood over the snakes head, and ten
men pounced on the reptiles body.
The big boa squirmed and wriggled.
Its tongue shot out and in like light
ming and the snake Kissed and spat.
The assistants frightened their grip,
and Manley entered the snake cage,
his hands covered with pair Of thick
leather gloves. Manley had no way
Of knowing which tooth aohed, and he
intended to take no chances. So he
took long piece Of steel and began
tapping all the teeth In the snakes
mouth.
1t didn't take long to flnd the sensi-
tive tooth. Marley placed q piece OF
burlap bag over the tooth and gave
the bag long pull. The tooth came
out and another one with 1t.
Aieof tho buaho won PAhCcu U1zch III
it's glass cage Marley, well satisfied
with his work. told about some other
big operations he had performed.
Some time ago hfppopctadfds
broke TOOTH" he said. "and we de-
cided to take out the piece that re-
manned in the animals mouth. We
threw the big ropes about the hippo
and dragged 1t to the bars OF the cage.
There we pried open the animals
mouth and went to work with q padS
Of our long forceps. like you see uAswe
on the wall.
Those forceps are strong enough to
pull railroad spike. but we had to
take three grips on that tooth before
we could remove It. The piece
weighed three pounds. That big hip
pc was SO alfred mad when we had
the tooth out that he charged again
and again against the cage bars with
such force that several of them wera
loosened and bent
Come out some time and watch us
tackle giraffe with a ladder. IT'S
like fighting third-story fire."
How do you handle an alligatorf"
he was asked.
Excuse me-" said Manley. That's
one animal don't care to try"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-04-09
CIerqyman's Pun.

A clergyman who had worked for
many years in certain wild section
of the country, was being queried
by a brother as to the church which
made most appeal to the people In
that region. He answered that the
Baptists had been most successful in
making converts. The questioner made
some objection to the practice of total
submersion. which was the only bap-
tismal ceremony recognized In the
country. 1t seemed to him supereroga-
tory.
"Ah, yes" remarked the clergyman,
II grant you that such ceremony
may appear to you to be unnecessary
according to the Scriptures, but an
intimate life among these people has
convinced me that for most Of them
total submersion is not to be classed
as a work Of super-irrigation." New
York Evening Post.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-04-09
PROFIT SHARING WORKS WELL
Method Of Stimulating Interest of En-
pIoyes in Business Is Growing
In Popularity.

Business as formerly conducted on
a modern scale permitted that ac-
quaintance between employer and en-
ployed which became a personal bond
and attached the worker Loyalty to the
establishment. This is impossible
with the giant concerns of today, and
the progressive among them are look
ing to the principle Of profit sharing
to interest the employe in his work.
In England, where the plan is much
in vogue and tends to become the set
tied practice, the profit sharing sys-
tenn is expected to enable the small
shop or factory to compete, by reason
of the more Jealous endeavor of the
employed, with the huge establish.
ments; and it seems not unreasonable
that 1t may have this effect. Many
corporations in our own country have
worked out satisfactory profit sharing
plans, or are experimenting to that
end. A carpet company of Yonkers
distributed $4,000 to employees last
year. A big insurance company has
inaugurated a retirement pension sys-
tenn which gives the employe per
cent. of his yearly earnings multi
piled by the number of years Of serv-
ice. A New England manufacturing
concern, after allowing liberal re-
turn to capital, gives all its surplus
to its employees; and various other
plans are being tried. Beyond much
doubt these will become the universal
practice in the future, when the men
whose great ability can make huge en-
terprises successful have come to find
the higher pleasure In serving human
ity.
Heretofore in world history human
development has been toward indi.
viduality, and this was facilitated by
everything which tended to exalt and
aggrandize self. Up to a certain point
1t was necessary and good; but be-
yond that, development to the ideal
type of man is retarded. 1t is along
the altruistic, not the egoistic, lines
that further progress must be made.
The present disposition Of directive
heads Of great concerns to serve them.
selves first and pass out to others
what remains, IL anything, is illus
trated by the seven directors of q
large New York company, who vote
themselves each salary of $4,000 a
year, though the stockholders would
seem to be getting nothing since de
felt of 100000 was reported in 1911
This kind of profit division has always
heretofore been most in evidence. but
will not always be.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-04-09
How Cobb Got Fired.

Many years ago Frank Parker was
the telegraph editor of the st. Louis
Chronicle. One of his valued CORE
81 Jndents was Irwin s. Cobb, who then
added to his income by putting Pa
ducah date line over his fiction. One
day Cobb sent in a particularly good
story. Parker printed it. That night
the boss came in swinging his head
like a semaphore.
"Look'ut," the boss said, skipping a
syllable here and there. "Lookut this!
What suborned perjurer had this sort
of pipe dream?"
Parker told him.
Fire him." said the boss, passion
ately. Don't wait for a letter. Fire
him by wire. Do 1t now"
So Parker did it. By and by he re-
ceiyed reply from Mr.. Cobb, in
which the latter was somewhat plain
tive.
I'm not complaining about being
fred" Cobb wrote. But I've been
working for your sheet for six months
land think it's hard luck to be fired
for the only true story ever sent
kansas City Star.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-04-09
MANY Like Smith.

Robert G. McCready, a well known
life guard of Long Branch, recounted
some of his experiences as. brown and
sturdy, he paced the wind-swept
beach.
mo, no." he said, ''the average per-
son you rescue doesn't give you a
check for million or offer you a part
nership in his firm. The average per-
son you rescue is like Smith.
"A Philadelphia Waterman saved
Smiths life one winter night when he
fell off the Race street wharf. The
Waterman plunged into the icy water
after him and only got him out after
ten minutes terrible work amid the
floating ice. But Smith took the thing
as a matter of course. I'D a. done all
right alone if I'd "a been able to swim,
he said.
"A month or so later the Waterman
asked Smith to help him move pack.
ing case.
init said Smith. I amt no
horse
81 done more for you.' said the
Waterman, one night when you were
drowning
YES said Smith, holly, and you're
no gentleman to cast it up to me
now"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-04-09
How Queen Rules klna Emmanuel.

The queen of Italy, discussing smok-
Ing with Queen Mary of Great Britain,
remarked vivaciously: 81 can overlook
many faults in man, and make many
allowances for his shortcomings.
"One fault in man, however, l can
never forgive, and that is-his not
smoking. Whenever King Emmanuel
seems annoyed give him his pipe;
when he is good-tempered get him a
cigarette; when want him to do
something very particular l offer him
a cigar.
With a pipe can console him:
with cigarette l can delight him;
but with a cigar l can lead him any.
how and anywhere"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-04-09
She Was Prepared.

Here is story told by the bishop
of London. When he was in Toronto
recently member of one OF his audi
ences told him that he had heard him
speak IA years before in London. and
remembered only one. thing he said.
He told me that IA years ago." said
the bishop, Il related the story of an
old woman who fell from three-story
window in the East end. struck her
head, and was picked up dead.
He added that l. had said l went to
her neighbor and remarked: 4 am
afraid Mrs. Jones was not prepared.
and that had received this reply:
oh, yes; know she was, because as
she passed my window in her fall !
heard her say, Nov for bump!"'"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-04-09
In Moment Of InspIra.Ion.

The present Lord Tennyson tells
in his charming biography Of his
father. the late poet laureate, that he
wrote Crossing the Bar" in few
minutes. He had been down to Sol
combe. near Bolt Head. where there
is a bar which makes curious
moaning. He sat on the cliffs listen
ing to it, but It was not until long
afterwards that the great lyric came
like fash Of inspiration"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-04-09

expected to leap, and leaping animals
are close calculators. She fen twenty
five feet into the stream. She came
up once, turned toward the distant
shore, threw her head back and sank
for good. A clear case of suicide the
doctor called il
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-04-09
Yes.

John Barrett is quoted as telling
students at the Bliss Electrical school
that the future of the United States is
assured. And nfter that the boys put
on their rubber gloves and shook
hands with the live wire over the glad
tidings. Courier-Journal.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-04-09
MARKING Time.

you prefer parades to speeches In
impressing your views?"
Yes. It's much more interesting to
see how long It takes procession to
pass some point than to see how long
1t takes q speech to do the same
thing
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-04-09
Predestlnation,

Elder-If you believe that every
thing that takes place is foreordained
why did you wallop the man you
caught stealing your wood?
Deacon-Because couldn't help It.
felt that 1t was foreordained that
ahould wallop him.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-04-09
What Dolly Lacked

One day small Alice was playing
with her dolly. Stopping suddenly. she
looked at her lovingly and said: dol.
ly, you is just awfully beautiful bat
you amt got bit Of sense"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1914-04-09

When a wealthy relative leaves handsome
fortune to young Jones he immediately re-
spends to the call Of Broadway" Before
long he's the most celebrated spender in the
metropolis of spendthrifts. Every chorus
girl and bartender, every taxi-cabman and
policeman on the streets knows him and
calls him by his nickname. He out-broad-
ways Broadway. ~ Then suddenly he finds
himself 'broke." Marriage with maiden
lady Of many summers promises solution
not at all to his liking; then he meets THE
girl and
But you want to read the whole story-it's
all very human and full of lots of good, roar
ing laughs. ~ You'll not regret reading our
coming serial -BROADWAY JONES.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-07-02

Iege Endowment Fund society attend
ed the July meeting yesterday after
noon at the home of Mrs. O. p. Olson,
1907 Forty-fourth street. Mrs. Elmer
Olson and Miss Hilda Nelson were the
assisting hostesses. After the routine
of business the program was taken
UP. Miss Svanhild Blomgren was t,
have a paper on the subject OF private
schools. but she was prevented from
attending. and in her place Miss Adria
Titterington told of the work at Ober-
lin college. speaking especially of the
dean of women at that institution.
Miss Gamble of Moline also gave a
short talk speaking OF the work Of the
dean of women at the University OF
Wisconsin. Both talks were very in
teresting. The society is advocating
the employment of a dean OF women
at Augustana and is making efforts TO
divert the endowment thus far col
lected to that purpose. The ladies
were also entertained with victrola
music, and during the social hour deli
cious refreshments were served. The
society will meet with Mrs. Gpstav An.
dreen in August. when Miss Ramser
will give a paper on colleges and uni
versities.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-07-02
PARTY TO ANNOUNCE ENGAGE.
MENT.

At an informal afternoon Monday,
Miss Merrette Abbott at her home in
Clinton, Iowa, announced to a group
OF intimate girl friends, her engage
ment to Fred Walls Spalding. The
company comprised the girls OF the
younger set in society. and was main
ly of those who have just returned
from their studies in the various col
leges and seminaries. These were
Miss Abbott's cousin, Miss Marguerite
Potter of this city, the Misses Helen
Buell. from the state university at Iowa
City, Miss Jane Abbott and Miss Gladys
Reynolds from Rockford college, Miss
Leone Hemingway from the Univers-
ity of Chicago, Miss Geraldine Kelly
from ST Mary's of the Woods. Terre
Haute, Ind. Miss Olive Barker, Lau-
rel Miss, Miss Catherine Coan, Emma
Willard school, Troy, n. y.
The announcement was cleverly
made. when with the last course of
the dainty tea, little bags of tulle
were given TO each of the IA guests.
When the bags We're opened the cat
was let out with the names of two
young people tied to a satin ribbon
about its neck. The color scheme
for the afternoon was all in pink and
white and prettily planned.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-07-02
coNWELL-wATERS.

The marriage OF Miss Selma Mar
garet Waters, daughter OF the late
Mr. and Mrs. Richard Waters OF Dav-
export and John Joseph Conwell of
Rock Island. took place at an early
morning ceremony OF o'clock yester-
day at the Davenport Sacred Heart
Cathedral. Very Rev. Father Flanni-
gan. V. c.. officiated and celebrated
the mass
There were no attendants, and the
wedding was a very quiet AFFAIR wit
messed only by immediate relatives and
a few intimate friends. The bride
was all in white. her gown being of
wolfe and Venetian lace, with draped
tunic. and lace trimmed bodice. Her
white hat OF tulIe was also trimmed
with the Venetian lace. The bride car
ried a white prayer book.
a wedding breakfast was served
after the ceremony at the home of
the brides brother-inlaw and sister,
Mr.. and Mrs. William Conwell, on
LeCIaire street, Davenport, and later
the bridal couple left on a wedding
trip. They will reside in Davenport
for the present at the Conwen resi-
dence on LeClaire street until their
own home is ready.
The bride has been connected with
the ]. II. c. Petersen Sons store in the
lace department.
Mr.. ConweH has always made his
home in Rock Island. He is employed
al the arsenal.
The bride was surprised Monday
night at the Conwell home on Lee
Claire street, some 20 of her friends
having arranged a silver shower in
her honor. Handsome gifts of silver
were presented IN anticipation of the
wedding.
WEINSTEIN-coMENITz.
A pretty home wedding took place
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-07-02
SOCIETY

! Tuesday evening at the residence of
Mrs. p. II. Comenitz of 1912 West Sew
enth street. Davenport. when her
daughter, Miss Anna Helen Comenitz,
was united in marriage to wilfred
Weinstein. The ceremony at S o'clock
was performed by Rabbi Morris Scud-
der, pastor OF the congregation of b
Mai Ames.
The bride was attended by her sis
ter, Miss Jennie Comenitz, and Will
liam Frank was best man. Lilies of
the valley with greenery formed deco
rations in the different rooms, the
green and white colors being carried
out In all the ornamentation. The
, bride was in a gown of white satin
made round length, the skirt draped.
and the bodice covered with all over
lace. The long wedding veil was fast
ened with clusters OF lilies of the
valley. and the bridal bouquet was of
white roses. The only ornament worn
by the bride was a lavalierre set with
diamonds, the gift of the groom. The
bridesmaid was in white crepe de
chine trimmed in gold. She carried
bouquet OF lilies of the valley.
There was a wedding supper served
after the ceremony TO about 80 of the
relatives and friends of the young peo-
pie who were present as guests OF
the evening Mr.. and Mrs. Weinstein
left on the midnight train for the
west. They will be at home on their
return at CPS Myrtle street. Daven-
port.
The bride has been stenographer
and bookkeeper for the Seipp Brew
ing company. VI. Weinstein is a mem
Der of the furniture company Of Vein
stein & Katz of Western avenue and
Second street The travelling dress
of the bride was a blue tailored suit
with white bodice and hat to match
her gown.
Mrs. Florence Fulk and Mrs. Henry
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-07-02

% 1t depends upon what you are
fitted to do. l do not know anything
about your wishes or abilities or op-
portunities, my dear. Talk this over
with you parents.
(2) She may have enough good
points to Offset the one fault. Your
knowledge of her fault will guide
you not to trust her statements en-
tirely, but you can still love her for
her virtues.
90 Have a little porch party or
lawn party. Possibly you can enter
tain them with tennis, croquet or
some of the other outdoor games.
(D 1 think cold cream is very
necessary where ones skin is much
exposed to outdoors. Use it for
cleansing cream at night, wiping it
off carefully after using. A little of
it on the skin after being out in the
wind or sun, is very soothing. If you
use powder always put a tiny bit of
cold cream on the skin before dust
ing on the powder. A girl of your
age, however, probably has a skin too
pretty to be hidden with powder.
Dear Mrs. Thompson: l have a
wisteria colored suit and would like
to have pumps TO match. but can't
get any. so l got a pair of white
satin pumps and will you please tell
me how to color them wisteria? And
how can l calor a pair of white satin
pumps grey?
MAY BLOSSOM
You can get stencil colors in tubes
which will do for painting the satin
pumps. The colors can be thinned
with turpentine or gasoline to the
shade desired-try Ii on something
else before using it on the pumps.
You may have to mix different
colors to get the desired shade
Black thinned will make different
shades of gray; for blush gray
add a little blue; brownish. little
brown, etc. If you cannot get a tube
of wisteria, you will have TO make
the color by mixing: blue and red
make purple and by experimenting
you can get the wisteria shade.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-07-02
HOUSEHOLD
HINTS
The Table.

The Table.
Colesiaw Dressing.-One egg we'll
beaten, one tablespoon sugar, half tea
spoon salt, dash of pepper, hair cup
vinegar Mix together, set on stove
until il reaches boiling point, stirring
constantly. Add a piece of butter and
pour hot over chopped or shaved cab
bage.
Invalid Food.-Put one tablespoon
tapioco in one cup milk and stand in
cold place 10 minutes, then cook In
double boiler Is minutes. Dissolve one
half teaspoon extract of beef in one
cup boiling water. add to milk and
tapioco. Cook a moment, then take
from fire and add hastily an egg yoik
beaten with two tablespoons cream;
stir and add salt and pepper to taste.
Ginger Pudding eggs. three
teacups -four, one cup sugar, three
fourths cup sour milk. one-half cup
butter. one teaspoon baking soda stir
red in the milk. ginger TO taste.
Sponge Cake. Two Layers.-Three
eggs, one cup sugar. three tablespoons
cold water. one heaping cup -four. two
teaspoons baking powder. Drop eggs
In mixing bowl and beat until very
light, add sugar and beat again, then
add water, -four with baking powder
sifted beat. Always try this cake
by dropping spoonful In small tin
and. If it drops, add more -four, as eggs
vary in size Filling; Threefourths
cup sweet cream, five teaspoons sugar.