davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1914-01-31
A Record Propoeal.

A proposal Of marriage from a Wild
over with eleven children has been
received by Miss Jessie Cosgrove. who
was formerly employed in the Edison
Photograph Record Works here. A
few years ago. for joke, Miss Co.'S
grove wrote a note in a record Of
Where the River Shannon Flows. -
There was q large demand for these
records in Ireland. and Miss Cosgrove,
who In soon to be married, received the
proposal from one Dennis O'Finn. Of
West Meath. Ireland.
In part the letter saws: TN q talk
ing machine record found a note in
which you say you are looking for q
man. Being as am a widower, I
would like to say I wouldn't mind II
you would come to this country 20
could marry you. Although 1 am s.
years old now, my health IL Just az
good a. when was %. I have a wood
en- leg. because lost the real one in q
steam road accident. but the ARTIFICIAL
one doesn't interfere with my walking
or work.
MY good wife died fr1m . fever more
than twelve months ago, and, having
pity ON my eleven little ones, thought
to ask IL you would become my wife. 10
could intrust their bringing up to you.
for I have heard that you American
women do make good wives."-WeSt
Orango On. 10 dispatch to New York
Time1
The Topeka state journal., 1914-01-31

|lone-dietance wire to Triton. IT may
A ve3I vffl,dra~ NV reouaaf ~.
Rutier-. he asi1 vat,, : .rsm- srntle ~
- wnsfeN Sor 1he cr,sr,tNr ssTt mnav
f.re ~ 49,. - ~ - .,,~,esc,. ~ =,
s..~.v ps.s.~ go 1as.siCs~ss~ ~~s..sse
s.~ ~
aler ~ W1
Ine ooor eua0eniy burst open ana
with IN e5ectrtf1catton OF tho whole
afmosphere = very pretty young
woman rusned into the room
Oh. daddy" she cailed with =
chtldish laugh. II am 20 glad to see
you. Please 20 nay the taxi man.
Hes waiting. spent my last cent
ON q tip to the porter. ! couldn't
even buy dinner ana am no hungry"
Mr.. Butler. alwayu obedient to his
pretty daurhter's commanda hur-
riee, r. ~. front door .nd ther psrha
r.~i,sSA e. 49, a.. - ssN ehee
nef-sN~. -. q. - .-...s,
Coz Sc,HS 49,, No..is ..
.h> Ia LIZ SUtt, S.s~ s.n - - a1ssrS.
=. - r.,,,~ y - - sssut 80 .s1., Sr ,ns -.
one - rss.o.s suhs ~ n .s,s.s
oh<,,,t hs.,s.,~ - $780, S - Rss,Css
No. Hn,,.t -. ~ Su,,1 ul1 tS.I 49, ,,.s,.
s,sS ttE vn =. ce, a ~ -. n.se sou
s-..n nst.sHss nAs-I - I1 un."cC ~ ..v
:. =, sr.,sng :. neeo aae - g .ne o!r1 ~ T1,.., !.
~ Ia - g. 81, .,ss 49, g =, As,eU: srs
M ,ns,& nn.a: ~ . sse
The Topeka state journal., 1914-01-31
By the Way

Sulxer says Murphy II . liar. and
murphy says Sulxer II . liar. Rather
tnan take sides in the controversy, II
- BEST to absolutely refuse to doubt
the word Of either Of these eminently
It II to be hoped that tho system Of
the Topeka man who left his wife be-
cause he was not good enough to live
with her, will not become popular. A
would not be . good advertisement for
the state.
England's great grief over the per-
formances of the militant suffs IL bad
rebuke OF Hobo Kemp. recently .
guest within their gates. dims the
otner grief by comparison
The latest in feminine skirts has
er It fits or not. and the same pattern
will answer for = whole neighborhood-
II some Of the modern reformers
had lived in Plymouth. Mass. 200
ducked every day ana worn a hoop
iron Iridle to bed every night.
Ad wolgast came back. but it il .
consensus Of opinion among sport
wa AAeSAS SAAAt ~ - u OIIS4 WE'LL
A COW with q wooden leg was
slaughtered at q Chicago packing
house recently. and the cheaper cutss
Of steak should reach US as soon a.
properly aged in cold storage.
Radium may not cure cancer. but
q small COB OF 1t seems to cure that
other disease. poverty.
AZ Sor the charge that Mr.. 0ompers
was ''gloriously drunk" the man may
have been mistaken. Maybe Mr.. Com
pers was just full OF enthusiasm. and
was using the bottle for q gavel to
call the meeting to order.
Some enthusiasm IL hard for one not
an expert to distinguish from q souse.
Some Of the Bullmoosers have these
spells. and the resemblance does not
end with the nights performance.
They will have the same kind Of head
ache the morning after.
Both ]. 8. Dean and Seth Wells have
shed their mustacheo. There seems
to be a growing tendency on the part
OF standpatters to come out in the
open. refusing to hide behind any
thing.
The Topeka state journal., 1914-01-31

[From the Philadelphia Record.1
Virtue II its own reward. All the heroes
don't draw pensions
Love occasionally dies q lingering death.
but It 10 more often due to heart disease.
The fellows who believe there should be
q tax ON bachelors are all married men.
Wealth may not bring happiness, but It
is quite possible to be happy In spite OF
riches.
You can generally mako . married wom-
an happy by convincing her that she II .
martyr.
Many q fellow who 10 Of no use on earth
IL regarded by the girls ~ being just
she-:Men are what women make
them He-'T believe you are right. The
world IL full Of fools"
The devil doesn't care how often . man
goes to church on Sunday II he can use
him the rest OF the week
The truth n mighty" quoted the Wise
Guy YES. mighty disaxreeable some
times" added the simple Mug.
AOmmv-'sPcp. what y the d16erence be-
tween charity and phiIanthrepy? Tom
my's Pog-The peincipel dt9erence my
AFFORD to hire press agent
The Topeka state journal., 1914-01-31
Jayhawker Jots

Any woman can catch q husband.
but it takes a clever one to hold him,
points out the Sabetha Star.
Being rich IL not possessing wealth.
declares the Pratt Union. He who
knows how to spend his gold Is the
wealthy man. Are you wealthy or just
merely rich7
AS soon as a man begins to think he
KNOWS woman thoroughly, observes
the Downs Times. something crops
out In her personality that entirely
upsets his calculations.
The odds are two to one, thinks the
Holton Signal. that If the farmer and
laborer had to build silos In which to
store their money. the calamity howler
would grumble over the fact.
As Mrs. Homer Hoch suggests In the
Marion Record: Tho year 1914 will
be happier one for our friends and
ourselves II we keep our troubles up
our sleeve instead Of on our sleeve.
The several officials Of tho Frisco
railroad at the Wichita station who
were burdened with the task OF lifting
q $40 pound woman on q train are
unanimously Of the opinion that she
weighs TOO pounds.
Advice from the Conway Springs
Star: II a fool insults you it doesn' t
matter. a blackguard can't, gentle
man won't. But If an ordinary, hon
est, common citizen d0eS, run, for the
chances are he il right.
1t is supposed by the Florence Bull
letin that several people Of Florence
and vicinity will suffer from the dis
ease motoritis this spring. And the
Bulletin adds: It's not SO DANGEROUS
but usually more expensive than ap-
pendicitis.
Many a young scout, insists the
Olathe Register. shows by his actions
the Ia hn l.
ers the fair ones that he has never
made the acquaintance of q salt bar
rel, although such acquaintance would
improve his personality.
Two Of our young men in this
ncighborhood, reports the Highland
View correspondent Of the Soldier
Clipper. are thinking Of purchasing e.
surrey to take their weekly trips to
ODerlin in, a. one buggy seems to be
just a little crowded for four heavy
weights.
1t gets mighty tiresonne. writes the
across the Raging Solomon corre-
spondent Of the Downs Times: to hear
our city cousins beefing about the
high cost Of meat when every farmer
knows that q man can be filled with
mince meat cheaper than q horse can
be fed prairie hay. :, s,ass ls>
A mule team took revenge on O.
motor car at Sherwood's corner Mon
Republican. Fred Bri1es turned the
corner in his car ana bumped into Oh
Pate's rig which was standing there
The buggy was pushed around so that
the mule had q straight shot and one
kick knocked out one headlight and
then Mister Mule turned enough to get
the other lamp in range and kicked It
out. And the mule seemed to enjoy
It. The rig was slightly damaged but
no one was hurt.
The Topeka state journal., 1914-01-31

The Early Spring Poet.
A poet saw the birds upon the wing
And sailed forth to write verse ON
He Jared ON till he found a dell SO
Where he could sit and WOO the
mystic scene.
It was indeed 4 balmy. sunnt day:
All nature seemed to sweetly smile and
To him in tones not hard to understand
That beauteous spring was really close
Still further did the incoming poet roam,
Until he was about nine miles from home,
When suddenly the sky was clouded Ger
A blizzard right from Texas on him bore.
Before tho poet cen had time to sneeze.
The balmy days had made the poet take
His thick ones on and therefore he did
And shiver in the raw untempered wind.
Which was OF the old-fashioned winter
kind.
In vain his friends awaited him, Alack,
The gentle poet never did come back,
And finally. within a week or SO.
They found him stin and stark beneath
the snow.
They solemnly and sadly bore him hence,
The victim Of q misplaced confidence
Cruelty to Oysters.
There il at present a crusade against
the custom OF eating live oysters out
OF the half shell. Oyster experts say
that the majority OF oysters are alive
when swallowed and that they should be
killed before being eaten. This has caused
. number Of our readers to send inquiries
concerning the best methods Of killing
the thing we are prepared to give q list
Of different ways in which live oysters
may be killed while yet in the half shell.
some OF them being as follows:
Grasp an oyster tightly about the neck
and jam q chloroform mask over its
face. Hold 1t there until the oyster has
inhaled enough Of the drug to kill him.
Be sure that the chloroform sponge In
placed over the oysters nose.
Take the oyster out of the half shell,
tie . string tightly under his chin and
Take a nice sharp hatchet to the cafe
with you. Remove each oyster from the
shell and chop his head on.
Carry a small electric battery in tho
coat pocket and electricute each oyster
before eating him.
Place q saucer Of paris green ON the
table and let each oyster crawl out OF his
shell and eat some OF 1t.
A slow process but q sure one Il to
starve the oyster to death.
Microbes.
I've Travelled round. yes. quite . bit.
I've used the roller towel
Ger which reformers howl,
On which physicians scow1;
But I should worry. should net.
No towel mierobs has stung me yet.
I'VE used the public Drinking cup.
I've used Il many years,
Foolhardy It appears,
And still have no fearo
can announce in greatest gIee.
No cup microbe has e'er bit me.
I've surely kissed . lot Of folks
And many have kissed me,
'Tis reckless. I agree.
But yet It's plain to zee.
The kisstng microbe, 1t appears,
Has in no way curtailed my years.
I've read . lot Of microbe stun.
OF scientific bunk,
think It's mostly punk.
The docs can rave all that they like,
/ don't believe in any mike.
The Topeka state journal., 1914-01-31
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
TFrom the Chicago News-1

TFrom the Chicago New81
Ignorance is the mother OF fool argu-
ments.
Much that passes for enthusiasm Is
nothing but cash.
But occasionally It y easier to bear II
than it Is to grin.
Education enables = young man to show
how clever he isn't.
1t takes q stage struck gffi to Wa4n
dishes with tragic air.
The world may be growing Wisef, but
we still have lot to learn.
However. the suffraeetfe viii never IN
sist ON thu privilege of being bald
A woman frequently changes her mind.
but the quality remains much the same.
man always says things behind his
wffe's back when he II hooking up her
dress.
The best many q girl gets out of It who
marries for q homo h chance to COOK
TO- boarders.
When a woman II In love with Z man
were saying something.
Home ID the place to which some men
20 In order to get even when diaAgreeAble
things happen downtown
Every married man believes that tl.e
household exponses could be cut In two 4
he only had q chance to turn his business
acumen loose ON the job
The Topeka state journal., 1914-01-31
WOMAN IN A NEW WORLD.

In spite Of all the confusion and error
which the new sex morals have brought
in their own train. IL - upon these
morals that women must build in order
to gain a higher morality for the fu-
ture. writes Ellen Key in Harper's
Weekly. and she continues: But in 30
doing we must not lose that which was
good in the old sex morality. In other
words, the old love with its ideal faith
fulness and permanence must be kept.
and to it added the conviction that
chastity is harmony between the soul
and the senses and does not exist with
out such harmony. The next great task
with which women are confronted IL
to combire these two principles and
make them practical.
So far. women have failed in doing
this. This is partly because their erotic
life has been injured by centuries of
sacrifice and resignation and partly be-
cause today's rebellion against the old
order has been 30 violent. The demand
for the right love. like the demand
for freedom and justice, il only valu-
able when it promotes sections that not
only enrich the life Of the individual
but benefit the life Of the whole. Be-
cause love between two persons may
cause other persons to suffer. as the
demands for liberty and Justice often
do, does not prove that these feelings
are in themselves wrong. The road Of
all progress is marked by the suffer-
ings of individuals, of classes or even
Of whole nations. The question is, will
q given action which brings pain to
others be an advance to the race or
a retrogression? Unfortunately, this
question has been shirked by many who
lead the struggle against sex slavery.
This question Of motherhood Il the
most important Of all woman questions.
The answer which women can give will
determine whether they are to continue
to be the standard bearers of a new
morality or whether their morals will
become more manly in evil as well az
good. Only he who believes that moral
laws are divine and Interchangeable can
doubt that woman's self-assertion will
on the whole be good for humanity.
But the very one who hopes this, will
also hope that the ancient womanly
virtues OF notherly sacrifice and wifely
faithfulness will never .e outsrown,
These virtues will be all the more need
ed when love is made the standard for
marriage because this relation is gov
erned by q law, as infiexible az the me-
cessity for the presence OF both oxygen
and nitrogen in the air, that love inn
plies a mutual desire for an eternal
relation brought about by faithfulness
between husband and wife during their
life and into the future through chill
dren. No freedom ought to make wo-
men Indifferent to self-control and
motherly devotion since from these
qualities some OF the highest values in
life have sprung. The best qualities OF
the sailor are still needed by the avia-
The Topeka state journal., 1914-01-31
Journal Entries

Many q woman attempts 70 break
her husbands Will even after his
death.
. . .
A man with sisters u likely TO be
more respectful with other women.
Too many Of the compliments that
are passed around are prompted by
politeness.
.
Pleasant acQuaintanceships are often
destroyed by developing into friend
ships.
= .
Even the crank on exercise isn't ike
ly to enthuso over walking the floor
at night to quiet the youngest.
The Topeka state journal., 1914-01-31
EDUCATION OF ,nnnGRANTs.


That immigrants are keenly interested
in schooling for their children. or at
least conspicuously obedient to school
attendance laws, II the declaration Of
DR.. p. p. Claxton. United States COM
missioner of education. 'The least IL
literate Of our population are the native
born children Of foreign parents" says
DR., Claxton. in a bulletin On education
for immigrants just issued. The illit-
eracy among the children Of native
born parents il three times as great az
that among native born children Of for
eign parents"
DIR. Claxton reviews the whole prob
lem OF education for immigrants in and
out Of school. ITO the people OF no
other country is the problem Of so
much Importance as to the people of
the United States. No other country
has 20 many men, women and children
coming to its shores every year from all
parts of the world.
Many Of those who have come to us
in recent years are from countries hav-
ing meager provisions for public edu-
cation. According to the federal CEN
sus Of 1910 more than Is per cent. OF
the foreign born population of three
states was illiterate, from Is to Is per
cent. of five states. from 10 to Is per
cent. OF eleven states. and from to 10
per cent of twenty-one states. In only
one state was the percentage OF illit-
eracy of the foreign born population
less than 8.
Most Of the immigrants in recent
years have little kinship with the older
stocks of our population. either in
blood, language, methods OF thought.
traditions, manners, or customs; they
know little Of our political and civic
life and are unused to our social ideals;
their environment here IL wholly differ
ent from that to which they have been
accustomed. Strangers to each other,
frequently from countries hostile to
each other by tradition. Of different
speech and creeds. they are thrown to-
gether. strangers among strangers. In
a strange country and are thought of
by us only as a conglomerate mass OF
With little attention to
their specific needs, they are crowded
into factories, mines. and dirty tene-
ment quarters too often the prey OF the
exploiter in business and the dema-
gogue in politics.
Immigrant education Is not alone
the question of the school education Of
children. The millions of adult men
and women and children older than the
upper limit Of the compulsory school
age, must be looked after:
they must be prepared for American
and for participation in
our democratic Industrial social and
religious life; they must be given SYM
pathetic help in finding themselves In
their new environment and In adjusting
themselves to their new opportunities
and responsibilities. The proper edu-
cation Of these people fs duty which
the nation owes to itself and otthem.
1t can neglect thiss duty only 70 tfleir
hurt and its own perif go
The Topeka state journal., 1914-01-31
Euening Chat

BY RUTH CAMERON.

'sThc Thing"
according to history, slavery was
abolished in the United States some
time ago, but there are q great many
kinds of slavery still flourishing in
the land of the free and the home OF
the brave. And a great many kinds
OF slaves enduring more unremittine
bondage than ever the black folks did
And one Of the largest and most pit
liable classes of slaves consists of those
most unfortunate men and women
who live all their lives in helpless
bondage to the thing"
know what they do" who are
they? Nobody knows exactly, but
apparently they must be a group OF
demi-gods, for, what they say and
what they" do constitutes sacred
standard which IL the thing On the
the metaphor. hundreds Of thousands
OF human being sacrifice money, time,
intelligence. comfort and happiness.
Both in the most important issues
ana the most trivial details Of their
lives they must conform to the sa-
they marry by it; they dreas by it:
they walk and talk by it; and they die
ana are buried according to its for
mulas. And when they have been
conventionally buried their successors
IN slavery select for their graves a
cause that is the thing" in grave
stones nowadays
. At an ultra-fashfonable. hotel Twas
surprised to be served with cucumbers
that were soft and lifeless instead Of
crisp ana fresh as one expected to find
was dining with me that we ask for
another serving. .Oh no, don't she
protested. they are meant to be that
way. That is the way they serve them
now-a-days. 1t isn't the thing to have
cucumbers crisp any more"
do you like them this way?" 1
why yes" she said. IT don't object
to them. In fact think I prefer
them"
You see she was a we'll trained lady.
She was SO accustomed to obedience
that she actually had her senses un-
der control and could like a food she
didn't like IL that were the thing"
On another occasion learned that
one must not expect to have vinegar
served with ones beets any longer, for
that also IN not the thing now-a-
days. At all The best houses they
serve them with salt and pepper.
A friend Of mine il struggling
is evident she had no particular liking.
why do you read it?'' asked. "Oh,
one must know about these things Il
one wants to keep up" she said, loft
lily. Another slave glorying in her
slavery!
This Is a queer old world, and one
Of the queerest things about 1t IL this
self-imposed serfdom. Life Il 10 much
simpler and happier when we try
with all due respect to the rights and
privileges of others-to be ourselves
and please ourselves. Have the cour-
age to think for yourself and act ac-
cordingly and you will stop up one of
the biggest happiness leaks in your
system.
The Topeka state journal., 1914-01-31
Kansas Comment
GOOD ROADS.

The big public question this year wtu
be road improvement. II seems oefon4o
that there would be any "oppo1at.en
but e yon think there q no oppogieon
start q road campaign IN your socMSy
and nud out. An q matter Of MOI, me
road problem u OF tar moro umpoe
TO the farmer than either the eerm or
money None " Il s ! bus;nsss investmsnt
requiring an outlay Of cash ut 0rot ana
the interest ON the 1nvo0tmeue comes
back, not only directly In the form o.
cash. but Indirectly a. the f.Smef
power in hauling his crops to mafkee.
Governor Hodges recently eato IN 2
speech before the Kansas State ROADS
association ut Newton. ssThe road Quee-
tion ID . farm question ana p9mas1ly
1t IL gigantic task. problem q mag
nitude that has become state ana M
tional concern. But though It 10 1est
becoming . national problem. it, oosu-
ton 10 in the hands Of the real farmer.
year on roads ana bridges. At least %
per cent. Of this vast sum h wasted.
This 10 . monumental extfavaeance
that but few states could stand tho
strain of. We have had no distinct
road work has been Of tho hapha1afd
sort" The road question u . financial
matter az well a. q question OF 0)Efll.
1t ought to be debated and redebated
in every school house In the land
Seneca Tribune.
KANSAS LAND Is DAIRY LAND.
Old Kansas Land IL q Fairy Land
that lies in the valley Of Dairy Land.
Here are the pastures wide and green.
the fields Of forage, the barnyar6s
clean. the silos filled with their juicy
store. And who. in reason, could ask
for more? Forth from the great world
comes the call. Send us the products
we need them ALP That 10 the mes
sage and that the word. and the an
swer lies with the lowing herd. All.
there II always q sure demand for the
butter and milk OF Dairy Land. Out
here are the fodder and grass and corn,
the hay lands gemmed with the dews of
morn. alfalfa kissed by the wooing
breexe-out there II the market for
cream and cheese. What is the union
the times demand? The dairy herd and
old Kansas Land.-"Brad" in the Kan
sas Farmer.