The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-07-02
Babu English in India Is Very
Amusing.
How Railway Man Uses Speech of In
neutrality-suspicious. of Mendicant
Whose Condition Induced
Sympathy Reported.

! In India the Babu class of railway
servant prides itself on its great hold
on the idioms of the English language,
and hence the following examples OF
their efforts in this direction, said by
an English writer to be as true as
they are surprising.
1t is standing rule on railways in
India that all very unusual happen
ings are telegraphed to headquarters.
The Interpretation of the terms "un-
usual and the discretion as to the
Importance of the event that takes
place is so vague that generally every
thing Is wired. Stimulated by his
nights rest, one man spread himself
thus in a telegram to his divisional
superintendent:
Coming on duty early In the morn
ing, clad In my new and white uni
form, / perceived man seated on
box in naked and aggressive manner.
Taking him to be an ordinary pas
senger l proceeded to slap him.
Whereupon he hastily arose, unlocked
the said box, clad himself in police
mans uniform thereout, and arrested
me. The shoe is thus situated on the
erroneous pedicle. Please arrange.
Another man, who was wise in his
generation, telegraphed to his superin-
tendant including the police ofhcer
and all concerned, thus:
ga Backyard indigenous mendi-
cant arrived at my station, by two
down mail. Taking pity on his COM
miserated condition, l permitted him
to reside in the shade of the main
signal post In gratitude for my be-
neficent conduct, he absconded during
the nocturnal period with 500Rs of
my private cash, including one COPY
of the working time table"
When asked why he did the one
anna publication, the time table, In
his list of losses, he replied, with
knowing wriggle: 'Ha, ha, the matter
| is explainable in nutshell Unless
| had included little of the COM
pany's property the police would have
take no notice This justifies the ad-
dition of the lactaceous particle In
the shell of the cocoanut!"
| Another, overcome with grief on the
death OF his aged mother, telegraphed,
sadly: Il am profoundly moved to
announce to your honor that the aged
hand that so far has rocked my cradle
has now kicked the bucket! Woeful
lamentation participates my breast.
unable to work. Please arrange"
A traveller alighting at one Of the
stations asked how far certain shoot
| ing ground was, and was astonished
to get the reply: "Sir, ten miles as
the cock crows"
1t is customary in India for the
government to allow in most offices a
small sum to feed cats kept by the
watchmen to destroy rats. This prac-
tise was responsible for telegram
from one of the stations to this effect:
"Sad to relate, the senior cat has
been absent two nights without leave
on salutatory gambols Have pro-
noted junior cat to perform duties of
senior cat Lo! what catastrophe
! is here!" The worst was, he knew
not he had punned.
When asked for his opinion on the
difference between a railway train, a
ship and an aeroplane, the reply was:
"The difference is very intensified.
for when the vehicles that compose
| a train are by a concentration of cir
cumstances beyond the control of hui
man aid precipitated into the common
ditch-there you are! When the ship
saltating on the ambient waves Is,
owing to the raging of the atmos-
pherical surroundings, lost in hole
in the ocean-where are you? But
when the flying machine oscillating
on the circumambient atmosphere is,
owing to various causes, precipitated
on to terra cotta-nowhere you are!
In reply to the question in an ex-
animation, What is a horse?" the
reply was: "The horse is noble
animal with four legs situated on the
four corners, and tail, but when
irritated he refuses to do So