The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-01-25


didn't know about It? You don't know
my wife. Of course?"
IT haven't that honor. Your name is
ist
'-stringem. sir-John stringem. I own
. farm out in Hollyhox County"
The Major gave him a glance Of sus-
picion. but Mr.. Stringem carried such an
innocent face that no one would believe
he had an ounce of suspicion In his soul
''Marier is mighty good wife," he
went on-"mighty good. II she's got D
fault 1t Is in being overcautious. When
she knew I was goin' to draw my money
out of the bank and come down here to
see you she says:
Josh, be keerful, be keerful! That
Major Crofoot may, be a swindler."
".He can't-he can't be- says !. I have
seen his pictur' and honesty shines out
In every line of his -ece.'
"'But he must give you some invest
ment that will pay at least u per cent. :"
That's what she says Major-ls per
cent, and here you are Offering me ~!
Won't her eyes bulge out when I tell her
40?''
Greatest thing In the world. my dear
sir. 1t Is a trap that goes to the grocery
and buys the cheese to bait itself ana
then comes home and follows rats and
mice into their holes to catch them.
Keeps its own tally and buries its own
dead. Senator Foraker said he would
rather be the inventor Of that trap than
to be President of the United States"
But you must have something for
me-" insisted the caller in anxious tones.
Let me see! Let me see! How alb
sent-mi-ded / am this morning. Just as
you knocked I was making up the incor-
poration papers for my last and best
scheme. It's one that'n lay over all 9TH
ers. I was saving 1t to begin the year
on"
Good, Good, What is it! BY George,
old fellow, IL you put me on to something
good you shan't lose by it!'
You know what delicacies turtle soup
and turtle steak are considered?'
st do"
"And you know the high price frogs
legs brings?"
Eyes"
well. that's the basis of the Great
Western Company. just organized. We
are going to rent nine square miles OF
Lake st. Clair fats and raise our frogs
and turtles and can them on the spot.
They will be canned in champagne. and
the labels on the cans will be handsome
enough to frame and hang in any one's
parlor. Three turtle steaks and two dozen
frogs legs every can. Killing and can
ming takes place every day. We shall
control the market of the world. No
banquet complete without our goods The
Emperor William writes"
'I don't care q cuss what the Emperor
William writes, but want some Of that
stock~ interrupted the caller. What
dividends do you figure on?
"well, last night i was figuring on .
straight 100 per cent, but this morning I
thought i ought t. make a little allow
ance. Many turtles die Of inconsistencies.
you know, and a certain per cent Of, the
frogs are bouni~ to jump the wire fences
and get away. To be very safe and con-
sentative, have put the dividends at IS
PEE cent I think that Is rather neat
figure, don't your
Great, Great Scott, I've been lending
money at per cent?
"How-how much were you thinking
of investing?' asked the major in a voice
that trembled in spite OF himself.
Twenty Thousand dollars. perhaps"'
The majors knees grew weak, and
wabbly, and he Nad to sit down, and
there was a lump in his throat as he
asked:
"And you-you will pay something down
to secure the stock?'
"A hundred dollars. Here's a check
I'll indorse over you. and I'll come in
tomorrow and pay the balance and get
Ine StOCh- by 1tOrSc, Dut III III iuSh'
Just think of getting hold of something
paying IS per cent dividends. You won't
let Morgan buy the whole thing up and
freeze me out. will your
mo. You shall have the stock"
And I'll remember you. I'll buy you
a pearl Jpn out of the first dividend. II
you want, when you get started, I'll
show you how to catch frogs for can
ming. There's a peculiar way Of get.
ting hold of them by one hind leg.
Ninety-fve per cent! I can't help but
dwell on it"
Yes! it's a good thing" replied the
major as he showed the folded check
into his vest pocket in q careless way.
you will be in tomorrow
Sure Mike, If I was a Frenchman I'd
shake hands and I'll say ta-ta. Tomor-
row. Ninety-five per cent! Whoop"
When he had gone the major walked
up and down to calm his raging heart.
It didn't seem possible. He couldn't
credit his good luck. Then at last he
took the check from his pocket and
looked at 1t to see what bank it was
drawn on. His eyes opened wide,
and he uttered a moan and staggering
to a seat.
1t was drawn in favor Of "A. Sucker"
Endorsed by Another Sucker" and
signed by Uncle RUDE
Then the light went out, and the
grand promoter bowed his head and
knew the bitterness Of the green per-
simmon.