El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-01-31
~ UNCLE zASFTDOD IN
81 ~ @lRl 1aERKINs $5@
NJ ByEnis Parker Butler %W


States anneEes Mexico-"
"speakin' Of arks and annexation
and things. that begin with an A" said
Uncle Ashdod, IL remember as plain as
day as nice a little bit Of annexation
as ever was. There was Noahs ark
right on top Of Mount Venus
Whose ar6?" asked Sim Perkins
skeptically.
Noah's ark" said Uncle Ashdod. !
knoWed IL was Noahs ark because
Inere was a place on the stabbard rail
where the initials S. II. and ]. was
carved standing for Shem, Ham and
JapheL Them three boys was probably
always foolin' around doin mischief
aLter they got the animals fed And
S SHe way. the inside of the boat was
o4Fiueo into stalls sort Of make me
suier- There was one stall that was
IuDoed IN front by the elephant tusks
ana one that was rubbed on the ceiling
oy the CRATES heads. and one thar
, MS Ms ,FqoDed on the floor by the croco-
olles bellies. and"
\ All rightr' said Sim Perkins has
Illy' IL let on it was NOah's own old
aIk II II is goin' to do you any good
Cli! what mount did you say il was
on top of"
Mount Venus" said Uncle Ashdod
OF course amt no authority" said
sim Perkins with mock humility. 'but
seem like the mount the ark stranded
on was Mount Ararat"
so II did said Uncle Ashdod
Ihought you said the ark was on
kins.
SO I did and so she was" said
Cncle Ashdod That voyage I was
hlred by the Kansas City, Kansas. Null.
Ilmiuennial Exposition comnanv. that
was goin' to hold a worlds fair nj
Kansas city, Kansas, to celebrate the
mulJimlllennium Of the flood. There
olQnt seems to be nothing left to
ceIeDrate, so they thought they'd cell
eDIale that So the United States
gov InenI mad a postage stamp printed
70 advertise the show and the bosses
OF the show bought up all the plaster
OF paris there was on earth. to make
exposition palaces Of and a Teller in
topeka, Kansas, made a statue of the
Goddess Of Liberty out of Indian corn.
ana teller in Wisconsin made a
statue of Noah Feedin' the HippvDot-
anus out Of butter, and it looked like
II was going to be q great exposition,
mt when they come to figure Up they
round that every nation on earth was
goln TO exhibit except Europe. Asia
and Africa, South America and Aus
Iralla, and the parts OF North America
North and South Of the United States
Of America.
Wen, if we amt goin' to have no
EXHIBITS says the boss" continued
Uncle AshdOd, I've got to have an at
traction. We've got to have something
everybody has heard of and wants to
sec, and that's the genuine old ark
mat Noah navigated the flood with. I
pet says he, that if we have the ark
4olkS VIII come from Montreal Canada
5nd Dayton, Ohio, and maybe from FL
Easo, Texas, and Muscatine, Iowa And
II We can have one of them Egyptian
uancin. girls on the PROV Wen draw
some folks from Pittsburg; and if we
nave couple of nigEers dom q double
shuttle on the rear deck we can count
on St Louis, and old Uncle Ashdod
Clute is the man to fetch the ark for
Us 50 Invent after the ark"
Loaded it on shipboard, I SUPPOSE !
scoffed Sim Perkins.
NO, siri" said Uncle Ashdod. "The
Sally Ans wasn't big enough to hold
an ark of that size as anv fool might !
know, so when we got the ark dug ont 4
OF Mount Ararat and skidded down
10 the seasnOre, we just skidded the !
sally Ann up the mount and showed
her into the hole we had made gettin' /
the ark out and packed her in snug /
and left here there. She's there now. /
80 that was fair exchange and no rob-
berry, for, to my notion, the ship Cap'n /
Ashdod Clute sailed in is just as no
torlous as any ark that ever was"
"Or more So" said Sim Perkins.
80 we set sail in the ark and z
touched at Egypt to take aboard the !
dancin girl Her name was Fatima,
with the accent on the fat. So we
made her a cabin in the HippypOtamus /
stall because it was double braced be
meath and she could practice dancin' /
without breakin' through the floor We |
sailed through the isthmus Of SueZ and
was gOin' along nice and easy through I
The South Pacific Ocean. which lies
south of the North Pacific Ocean
That there ocean amt the only
hing that lies south of it." said Sim !
Perkins meaningly, ''Or northeast of it.
either, When it comes to lying any
where on earth-good, clean, hearty
And I was handling the craft as
good as could be expected" said Uncle
AshdOd, without paying heed to Sim.
She was rather old fashioned in build,
he ark was. and sailed better back
wards than forwards, and better side
ways than either, and I was about
eady to decide she could sail better
Upside down or WrOngside out than any
ther way, when the mate came to me.
Cap he says, can't you sail this old
avs. We ought to get out of this re-
ion he says, because this is a mighty /
Olcanical region, and I've got a
'armers' Almanac that says About !
his time look out for volcanic
-oubles" Whats that% he saws. for
be old ark gave lurch and there was
big thump down below. That's Fa-
ina tryin q new Wriggle, most like
r. says She's probably hit her
natOmy against bulkhead and
nifted the cargo ] was standin' by
he main mast and he was leaning
gainst the rail- and he looked over
ne rail cap he says slow and calm,
maybe you're right but how much ]
-ater does this ark drawn Ten Feet
SAYS. If 7 was to say she was draw
= only five feet would you think / ,
nything was wrong% he asks i
ould,' I says. If I was to say she
as DRAWN no feet at all, would you
~ sOmethin' was mighty wrong? he r
lys,' III say right now that she's +
-awin' five feet less than nothin, he ?
.ys- SO I went and looked over the {
And you saw the whale that had +
vaIlered jonah" said Sim Perkins b
.
Whale nOthin'." said Uncle Ashdod. t
saw what looked like the ocean was G
'oppin' away from under the ark, / C
ats what 7 saw. But it wasn't. The | p
k was risin' up above the ocean 1t ! a
as risin' sky hOotin' fast too Like
e Of them rapid elevators down to T
sW York. Mate I says, we've dis v
vered laQd.' He looked a minute and | Y
Us: 'We2 We've discovered nothin'! ! D
md discovered usr And that was a e
CT"
"Go on" said Sim Perkins. Ct can v
and most anything" q
Before the mate got them words 2,
{ of his mouth" said Uncle Ashdod, II
re was a quarter of a mile up in the f,
and still goin' right on up. Cap el