Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1914-11-13
Dr.. Marden's
Uplift Talks
sy oRisoN SWEET MAaoEN.
Copyright ~ Mcclure NsvsDapsr synaieaes
GETTING OVER YOUR SENSITIVE
NESS.

] know q bright, well-tralned youhe
lady, whose intimate friends, and even
her near relatives, have to be continu'
ally on the watch for fear OF wound
ing her. She broods over q joking re-
mark until she magnifies 1t into an In
suit. She makes herself miserable for
days over q fancied slight and ex'
hausts the patience of her friends by
asking them to explain what they
meant by certain expressions, looks Or
gestures. People who are at first At
tracted by her many tamiable4 quail
ties soon fall away from her because
of the exactions imposed by her over
sensitiveness.
Over-sensitiveness. d really an ex'
aggerated form of self-consciousness.
1t is far removed from conceit or self
esteem, yet it causes ones own per-
sonality to overshadow everything
else. A sensitive person feels that,
whatever she does, wherever she goes
OF whatever she says, she is the center
Of conversation. She imagines that
people are criticizing hef. movements,
making fun at her expense or analyz.
ing her character when they are
probably not thinking Of her at all.
She does not realize that other people
are too busy and too much interested
in themselves and in other things to
devote to her any of their time beyond
what is absolutely necessary. When
she thinks they are making remarks
about her, putting sights upon her,
or trying to hold her up to the ridi-
cule of others. they may not even be
conscious of her presence.
Thousands of young women are
held back from undertaking what
they long to do, and are kept from
trying to make real their life-dreams,
because they are afraid to jostle with
the world. They shrink from ex-
posing their sore and sensitive spots.
which smart from the slightest touch.
Their supersensitiveness makes cow
ards Of them.
The great majority Of people, no
matter how rough in manner or bear
ing, are kind-hearted, and would
much rather help than hinder fellow
beings; besides, they have all they
can do to attend to their own affairs.
and have no time to spend In min.
utely analysing the nature and feel
ings of those whom they meet In
the course of their daily business. In
the busy world of affairs it Is give
and take, touch and 60, and those
who expect to get on must rid them
selves of all morbid sensitiveness'
II they do not, they doom themselves
to unhappiness and failure.
A college course Is of inestimable
value to a girl of over-refined sensi
bilities. Oftentimes when girls enter
college, they are SO touchy that theii
| sense of honor is constantly being
hurt and their. pride stung BY thu
| unconscious thrusts of, classmates
and companions. But after they have
been in college a term, and have
been rubbing up against other girls
they realize that it would be thu
most foolish thing in the world tt
| betray resentment. II one shows thai
she is hurt, she knows she will be un
| popular and will often be laughed
at. She is simply forced to drop thu
| foolish weakness. Girls who are NOR
bidly sensitive on entering college
| often come out at the end Of theil
four years. course with their exces
sive irritability cured by repeated
doses of common sense.
There are many, however, who mus
70 through life without going through
college; and if these are troubled will
sensitiveness, they must be their owl
healers. They must learn that rea
nobility and courage and effectiveness
as a world-worker, as we'll as per
sonal happiness and success, are i'm
possible to one who is crippled by
supersensitive nature.
What shall l do to get rid Of it,
a girl asks. Think less of yoursel
and more of others. Mingle freel!
with the. people. Become interested
in things outside of yourself. Do no
brood over what Is said to you o.
analyze every simple remark until yo'
magnify it into something OF tn
greatest importance. Do not hav'
such a low and unjust estimate o
people as to think they are bent OF
nothing but hurting the feelings. %
others, and deprecating and making
light of them on every possible occa
sion. A girl who appreciates hersel
1T her true value, and who gives he
neighbors credit for being at least Al
good as she is, will not be the victim
OF oversensitiveness.