davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16
lOopynEht. l9i4.l

TAY, honest! amt men the limit
- When it comes to thinking
they're just about right all the
time, l mean. What do you think Perky
had the nerve to call me down about
the other day? Chewing gum |!
Wouldn't that jar a giraffe?
In he comes with a swell dame with
money to invest in the Ready Beaten
Egg proposition, see? And here's little
me, pounding away at my old number
six, making noise like busy little Of
fee helper and easing my soul by gnsw-
ing away at hunk of gum.
Suzanne" says Perky, everything
been quiet since l went out?"
'Um, humh," says. You know how
it is with gum. The first stick tastes
fine and minty until the taste is chewed
out of it, and then you take another
stick, and another, and before you know
it you've got the whole nickers worth
between your molars, and you've got to
I'm, humh" when you're asked a ques-
ton or swallow the wad quick. None Of
that for little Suzanne! Up to three
sticks I'll swallow and take the chances
as long as l can be polite, but beyond
three l hang onto the chicle and "um,
humh." | tried swallowing a full nick
els worth once and after they'd tele-
phoned for the hearse and decided yel-
low roses would look better on my cof-
fin than white lilies, the doctor stepped
on my neck and the hunk of gum skid
ded. So they postponed the funeral.
"Um, humh :" says to Perky.
"Suzanne!" he says. rs that the
way to utter the Affirmative when no
less person than Mrs. Weltby-Coppin-
ger is here to buy forty shares of Ready
Beaten at par? You should respect the
visitor. if you have no respect for the
sweet charm of the female mouth when
gumless"
Say. was so mad l bit my gun in
two and swallowed it in two sections.
oh, cheese!" l said. Il guess I'll
chew gum if feel the need of exer-
cising my jaw muscles. Try to stop
me-"
1T is low habit" says Perky, wise,
to the fact that Mrs. Weltby-Coppin-
ger is one of the Lady Patrons OF the
League for the Discouragement of the
use of Chewing Gum. 1T is gradually
creating a race of women with jaws
like the Jaws of a Sixth Ward bruiser.
1t is the vice of the lower middle
classes and the other classes from
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16

lower middle to absolute bottom.
Gum" he says, quoting from the
literature of the League for the D..
of the U. of c. G., is the curse of the
female sex. Its use makes the fair sex
look like herd of COWS. Chewl chew !
chewT he says. "To say nothing" he
saws, "of the effect on the brain. The
constant champing of the lower jaw
against the upper knocks on the upper
teeth, thus communicating a jolt to the
upper teeth which is. in turn, passed on
to the brain pan, thus giving the brain
small but steady jolts, jolting the parti-
cles of gray matter against one an
"SureI I says, quoting little myself
from the same document. Thus dull
ing the faculties and causing a sensation
like getting a knock on the cocoanut
from a Sledge hammer. I'm wise to that
dope, Perky. And while in the said
dippy, or semi-comatose condition, the
poor working girl takes to drink, pawns
her mothers wedding ring for an opium
layout and murders her grandmother
for a wad of hop. Sure! That's how
am now. I'm just back fom murder
ing two of my grandmothers, and I'm
looking around for a new supply.
Wanted: One or more dear old grand
mas, to be neatly choked to death. Ap-
ply to Suzanne
Say, that was some sarcasm, wasn't
it?
We'll, no more gum chewing, please"
says Perky. q want no such reprehen-
sible customs carried on in this Office.
Gum chewing is not admirable"
"Oh, amt it?" l says, some of the red
of my hair getting into my temper.
We'll, what about that roll of weed
you've got sticking in your face? sup
pose sucking the end of hank of dried
leaves is all to the merry, amt is? You
uSNSl uCdl IllC SihN gOu a NoIi, Sihg,
because you come in here smelling like
a fire in Cohenstein's All-wool Sweat
shop, do you? I'll leave you alone to
your suck and puff, and you leave my
alone. l guess gum is no
worse than tobacco"
Tobacco, my dear Suzanne" says
Perky, "is a noble gift to civilization. 1t
soothes the nerves. 1t satisfies the soul.
1t was discovered by no less man than
Sir Walter Raleigh, one of the worlds
most famous gents"
is that so?" l says. well, your Sir
Walter Raleigh was a cheap piker be-
side the man that discovered chewing
gum. Good old Christopher Columbus
discovered the feminine chew before
your Sir Walter was out of the shell.
You can find it in the very first letter he
wrote home to his folks after he bumped
into land. Cold, bananas, mahogany
wood, and also chewing gum,' was what
he wrote!"
Say! That held Perky for awhile.
And l was right, too. Old Chris did
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16

novelty for the danes. He hit it when
he began serving a handful of mint with
the chewing gum. Tell your queenie to
try it. You know-she1l get so stuck
on the stuff she won't have time to talk
at you. Well, guess, this is all for this
time. Write soon. Yours as ever,
Chris Columbus"
Believe me! can't see why these male
guys are always knocking the girls fun,
About the time they are old enough to
toddle they begin putting small china
balls in a ring and shooting at them
with another china ball, and because
they call it marbles they think they can
sneer at a girl for playing with dolls.
They start right in guying a girl about
the time she spends on her hair, and
when they get to the girls house they
find her in the parlor, where she's been
waiting an hour, all ready, while Mr..
Young Man had been standing in front
of the mirror trying to see whether the
twelve hairs-six on each side-have
grown enough to make a smut mark on
his upper lip. "Ah, cheese" they say,
why can't the female sex take a few
lessons from US and brace up?"
And then what? As soon as Sarah
grabs a cigarette and trys to be like
Augustus-oh, mammal Augustus
throws such fit he gets all tied up in
knot and can't talk until somebody
prizes his foot out of his mouth. As
soon as Sarah goes out in the wood-shed
and practices swinging the Indian clubs
until her muscles split her sleeves, and
then joins the Ladies House Wrecking
Association and starts out to do up a
few policemen and blow up few petri-
fed old castles, Augustus has another
fit. Honest! you can't suit the men,
can you?
Say, we girls got onto that long ago.
Our motto has been Get EN-" and not
Suit EN-" ever since Adam began to
chew the rag over that apple affair. That
taught US a lesson. If you look into that
deep enough l guess you'd find the we'll
known serpent was some snake Adam
had rounded up in the jungle and had
brought home for a household pet, and
played with for a week or two until the
novelty wore off, and then left for Eve
to feed and take out for airings and at
tend to generally. He left her to go out
in the orchard and throw the broom at
the apples in the tree while the poor de-
serted serpent sat on itsIhind legs and
whined for food, and Adam was off
playing pinochle with a couple of mas
todons and the duck-billed ornythorin-
chus. And then Eve caught it for tast-
ing an apple to see il it was ripe enough
to feed the poor neglected serpent, or
so green it would give the poor reptile
the collie. That taught US women a les
son. No matter what you do to please
a man he rags you for it afterward. He
hands you a wad OF gum and says For
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16

down. She came over to me and pstted
me on the back.
Poor. untutored child" she says.
Poor child, alone and unprotected in
the world The football for any cruel
employer"
Then she opened her purse and held
something toward me.
What is it, | says.
SSH! she says in my ear. "It's gum.
| chew a little-a little OF each kind,
just to know from experience exactly
how deleterious it is. This kind really
isn't bad at all. Try it,
So I wiped my eyes and tried it.
How do you like it," she asks me.
Fine" I says, casting a look of re-
proach at Perky.
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16

Well" she says, I'm glad you like II.
l hope everybody will like it 1t IS
Hooper's Antiseptic, Non-degradive,
Uplift Gum. We are going to put it on
the market as an antidote for the evil
gum habit. We must fight FIRE with
harmless FIRE"
will it pay?" I says.
81 hope So" says Mrs. Weltby-Cop-
pinger. I've got lot of money invest
ed in it" So turned to Perky.
PERKY" I says, will you Try some?"
He took a thought of the shares of
Ready Beaten Egg he hoped to sell the
dame. and he cucked his cigar out of
the window, and smiled as sweet as pie.
why, yes, thank you. l will. he says.
Amt these men the limit
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16

proper moral, for if every young man
suddenly confronted with a big work
should fail to do it in the appointed
manner, he might find a small printed
slip in his salary envelope at the end
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16
CeOpynsht. lsE)

Copyright. lslA)
1t was a hot midsummer day in Chi
cago a dozen years ago when Horace
Clark ~fell down" on the first big
success. Perhaps his story has not the
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1914-08-27
Bernhardt and Camille
summer?


TarE- 49, --As.ELL -NaE.
For the first time in many
months. the Bijon theatre was
last Saturday night filed to its
full seating capacity. The chief
attraction was the motion pic.
iture reproduction of Camille
Those who are familiar with the
pathetic storyof Camille" and
have seenSthe play by living &C
tors, will understand that the
motion picture production has
been considerably trimmed =
Indeed. there we're points in the
tragedy OF Camille's life which
it We're just as we'll the public
did not witness. But the prin
|cipal object of the pictures is to
show the incompatible Bern.
|hardt in action. and they did SC
in q most satisfactory manner.
The entertainment concluded
with q light comedy sketch by
Miss Rasmonde and Mr.. WARREN,
followed by their musical spec.
|ialtiss, which were greatly en-
joYed.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1914-08-27

FFe3SLtff.f.E 10y Sf4%gEDSAgE5% lall<yE-&bg
None whatever. He has never seen
him. n +
Who suffers the penalties Of war?
The families OF the poor.
Who pay the expenses Of war?
The toilers.
How do they pay
In higher taxes and higher prices
TO meet the interest on the debt.
How long do they payi
TheyAand their: descsndents pay as
long o. the national debt lasts-which
is forever.
Whorwtns inwar??
The successful generals winHglory,"
the suocessfnl statesmen win prestige,
and the money ienders-who are In
ternational-in profits.
What 10 the total result Of war?
To give the worlds money lenders q
permanent mortgage on the labor OF
the working classes.
How long will there be wars?
Until the working classes under
stand this.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1914-08-27
Small Fruits Thrive Here

While this latitude is not es.
'pecially adapted to the growing
of pineapples. bananas,and afew
other tropical specialties, We
nevertheless can. if We willard
can curb the unholy itchings OF
the small boy-grow an abund.
ance of luscious fruits of various
kinds. and many of which would
even delight the palates of the
dwsllers in some of those sup.
posedly more fortunate localities.
AS to the truthfulness Of this
statement. We invite the atten.
ton of our readers to the B. T.
Kraabel orchard on Quality Row,
which has this yielded him con.
siderable quantity Of cherries,
Siberian crabs, apples and com,
pos cherries. The last named
il about the size Of q wild plum,
and is said to be q cross between
the plum and the domesticated
cherry. The fruits of 8 dark.
red color, meaty and very palat'
able. and being = trife tarty''
makes an excellent jell.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1914-08-27
Indicate a Hard
Winter Coming.

We don't go much on signs"
but sometimes certain conditions
which are said to presage Ger.
tain other conditions to follow,
do make connections. Now, we
may have a late fall aud a mild
winter. but we're so used to
look for the worst of everything,
+(haying got it in the neck 20
many times). that we won't be-
|lieve it until both seasons have
come and gone and then we also
have forgotten all about the
signs which ushered them in.
But we will prepare our readers
for the worst by informing those
who have not already noticed it,
that one of the surest signs of a
hard winter is right now visible
to all, viz: the thickness of the
husks on the corn. This and the
tsize and height of the muskrat
houses, and also the early south.
ward hightof wild fowl aud other
migratory birds, are infallible
precursors of early and unusu.
ally severe weather.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1914-08-27
Why Not7

Rev. H. II. Moore and Prof. T..
A. Herdlea and their families were,
ICooperstown visitors on Friday
evening to see a part of the clos
ing exercises of the city play
ground there. The ground is
situated on Main street, and is
fitted up with a variety of appa-.
.ratus to call forth and to develop.
the play spirit of the children Of
all ages, much of it homemade
and inexpensive, but all capable
Of turning the play instinct into
a thing of value from the educa
tional point OF view Through
the summer the boys and girls
have had the advantage of over
sight and direction in their use
of the playground, and from all
evidences the Cooperstown PEG.
AGO. "rL-E.H -
pie heartily appreciate what has
been done. For the closing day
q program of field sports, ball
games, folk dancing, etc was
given, with every boy and girl
allowed and urged to have a part,
and at the close the announce
ment was made that the Com.
mercial Club was surprising the
winners of the most points with
suitable prizes. Why may not
Hope keep 1T in mind to plan
something of the kind. for next
summer?
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1914-08-27
Again "dets It In
the Neck"

Chief of Police Johnson is a
good fisherman and a persistent,
and some day is goingsto make a
haul that will smear his name all.
over with glory. All he needs
to do is to keep>his lines out and.
watch the bobber. Oscar had a
q tremendous bite last Saturday
"a couple of them-and hauled
in what he-.contidently believed
were nothing less than muska.
lon9e. But alas and alack! as
long as Oscar has been Hopes
municipal fisherman. he has yet
to take pointers from more ex-
|perienced Isaac Waltons. His
Saturdays catch, while bearing
all the ear.marks of the "genuine
thing" when put under the mi.
croscopic inspection of States
Attorney Satire. flip-lopped to
such good purpose (for them
selyos(. that they finally were
declared to be nothing more
nor less than a pair of cells
alippery lampsr eels-and were
turned loose into the waters so.
|cial to continue their ungodly
prey upon other municipal fish.
ing grounds.
Divestedof its piscatorial sim.
|ilitude, the story reads like this:
Two strangers, who gave their
names as Williams and Evans,
walked into the town three weeks
ago today, and doing no work
and apparently having noother
means Of support, became objects
of suspicion to the head of the
police department, who last Sat.
prday took them under his i'm.
mediate and kindly care and
stowed them away in the munich.
pal bnghouse. They were occu.
lpying q room over the Biiou, and
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1914-08-27

per line per Insertion.
What Is IL All About?
An eastern paper gives the follow
ing in answer to a letter from q reader
who asked that the cause OF the war be
explained in \ few words:
4. The finder box. For years Eu.
rope has b~esn-ready to take fire at .
spark. Russia is an aggressive and
growing nation, eager to extend to the
Mediterranean. Austria feared Rus
sia because Russia's advance would
have choked OF Austria's future
reer. France has been filed with
hatred and vengeance against Ger
many. Germany, wedged between
them.was in mortal danger every hour.
England feared Germany because Ger
many was encroachin9 on her trade,
and threatened the British empire.
2. The spark. Any spark would
have been suffcient. IN fact, the,iame
would have started FROM spontaneous
combination in . short time. But the
assassination of tho Austrian grand
duke and duchess made u convenient
pretext for attacking Ssrvis. Austria
did not want to annex Servia, at least
not Immediately. Austria wanted to
make her 10 abjeetly helpless that she
would be worth nothing as IN ally of
Russia-to reduce her to the position
OF Cuba.
8. Why did Russia join? Russia
thought the time was -opportune to
make another move toward the Medi-
terranean. Russia sxpeeted to aid, en-
courage and strengthen the Balkan
states as q Russian outpost, possibly
to extend = protectorate over them. 1t
Was a desperate step in q centuries.old
plan. Russia struck becausesshewas
ready.
4. Why did Germany act? Primarily
because she.sis bound to defend her
ally, Austria Really because she
could not keep out. She must fight
for existence against Russia, and the
time to do it a instantly-before
Russia got any stronger and before
Germauy's only ally was beaten.
5. Why did Germany attack France?
Because she had to. Germany would
have been glad to remain at peace
With France, and tried t o get France
to promise 10 remain neutral. But
France would not promise. There was
nothing to do but to treat France as
an enemy.
8. Why do Belgium and Holland
sympathize with France? Because
they hate and fear Germany. Belgium
and Holland lie between Germany and
the sea. Germany wants both these
small countries, with their great sea.
ports and strategic positions. If Gers
many wins the war she will get both.
I. Why dad England join? Because
tho very existence of her empire was al
stake. Germany for years has been
arminE against England. England ID
. thorn in Germany's side at every
turn. and q bar across her ambition
in every quarter Of the world. Ger.
many San become = world-empire, only
by shattsring the British world.smpire
and gathering up the pieces. With
Belgium and Holland in Gsrmany's
hands. highlands doom would b
sealed. Therefore, the moment Ger
many threatened Belgium. England
had to fight Dr. surrender all hope O
future power and security.
8. Why does Italy not joinp Partl,
because abe hstes Austria. Chisa,
because she believes Germany and
Austria will DO beatsn. She does moi
want to BE- punished by the victorious
nations. especially when she has no
thing to gain by the war at best.
1 EL-
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1914-08-27

Mrs. G. 6. Merreill arrived
this week from Minneapolis and
iss visitinR trisnds In the city.
Mrs. Malonsy. who has besp.
visiting here for some time with
relatives left last syeningfo her
at Buffalo. She was accom-:
panied by Eva Dorrancs andLsa
lie JsRsrson.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1914-08-27

~ All; notices Of entertainments of
any nature at which admission il
charged, given BY local organizations
are charged ~ the rate OF 1--WE cents
per line per insertion.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1914-08-27

locked ina dresser in the room
were found upward of thirty
packs OF playing cards. a,num,
Der of sets of dice, a mirror
pipe, and all-the necessary equip
ment for marking" cards and
transforming them from their
whist club innocence into the
nest damnable instruments for
fleeing the unwary. Some OF
the diceswere loaded and 9th.
ers fixed" for sure-cinch nseln
the hands of those who under.
stood them. Several Of the decka
of cards also we're marked so
cunning that old man. HoYlehim:
self wouldn't stand q ghost of-.a
show against them in the hands
OF any one who was on. In
short, it was a perfectly devised
and complete poker aud dice
gambling layontand was brouRhts
into the country for the purpose
of fleeing the harvest handaand
threshers- out Of their hard
earned wages; and though cha.
grin and. 'prid combined have
r. -E.A "a rlE4El EEaEHESE
kept them from squealine. it 10
more than probable that a NUN.
Der of sporty Hopeitess have felt
their seductive influence.
The parties were arraiRned on:
q charge of having in. their pos.
session gambling implements
with intent to use them for that
purpose. A pack Of the marked.
cards were found. in Williams
pocket and he was made the first
defendant, but Evans lied so,
uniquely and skillfully for his
pal thatsa motion from Attorney
Shippy, who appeared for the
two beauties, to dismiss the case
against Williams. was reluctant.
" granted. by Judge Livermore..
Next, Williams was put on the
stand in an effort to more clossly
connect Evans with the layout
and If possible entange them
both into an admission hatthey
had used the cards in gambling
games. But % q prevariacator
Williams showed even greater
class than Evans. and the latter
aso walked out OF the courtroom
q free man.
Recapitulation The states
attorney gets. Ills salary; the po:
lice magistrate gets hin FEES,
Attorney shippy got dfteen dol.
lars; two dangerous members OF
the body social got free board
and lodging for three dayssand
nights and their liberty-and al.
because the law is 30 devilishly.
captious in respect to the
weight OF circumstAntial evil,
I0nncA Navtt
The patriot. [volume] (Indiana, Pa.) 1914-1955, 1914-08-22
WAR PARAGRAPHS

The German foreign Office has nots
fed United States Ambassador Ger
ard that all German ports have been
mined. The ambassador also report
ed that the English channel had been
mined, but he did not say by whom.
Walter Runciman, secretary of ag-
riculture, introduced a bill IN the
house of commons giving the British
government power to seize all food
stuffs. The bill passed through all
its stages.
Earl Kitchener, British secretary OF
state for war, notified the press that
any newspaper publishing news of ma
val or military movements except that
issued by the official bureau would be
suspended.
Queen Amelie of Portugal has vol
unteered as nurse. She will be at
tached to the staff at Devonshire
house.
Lord Dunraven of England has Of
fered his yacht to the American citi-
zens' committee to aid In bringing
stranded Americans from the conti-
nent.
A dispatch from Cettinje, Montene-
gro, officially denies the occupation
of Scutari by Montengrin troops and
also all other reports of hostile inten-
tions against Albania.
Rome hears that Russia has mobil-
lied 100000 men on the German and
Austrian frontiers, 100000 on the Ru-
manian frontier and had 5000, 900 more
held In reserve, total army of $780,
600 men. If correct, 1t would seem to
indicate that Russia has completed
her mobilization quickly.
Great Britain, France and Russia
have sent sharp communication to
Turkey regarding the reported pur-
chase by that country of the German
cruisers Goeben and Breslau. Greece
and Italy are concerned over this re-
ported acquisition by the Turks be-
cause of its bearing on the possession
of islands in the Aegean sea.
A large German aeroplane making
observations of Russian troops at Sill
walki, Poland, was brought to earth
and the four officers aboard her were
killed.
The patriot. [volume] (Indiana, Pa.) 1914-1955, 1914-08-22
DECLARED A MONOPOLY
international Harvester Company Or.
dered by Court to Dissolve.

international Harvester Company Or
dered by Court to Dissolve.
The International Harvester COM
pany has been declared to be a mo-
nopoly in restraint of interstate and
foreign trade and has been ordered
dissolved by majority decision filed
in ST. Paul by Judges Smith and Hook
in the United States court. Judge San
born dissented.
Unless the $40, 100000 corporation
submits a plan for the dissolution Of
the combination into at least three
independent concerns within ninety
days, or ii case of appeal, within
ninety days of the issuance of an ap-
peal mandate from the United States
supreme court, the decision announ-
ces that the court will entertain an
application for the appointment of
receiver for all the properties of the
corporation.
The majority opinion held that the
International Harvester company was
from its organization in 1902 in viola
ton of the Sherman law. The opinion
declares that there was no excuse for
the advertising of the products of the
D. NJ Osborne and company as inde.
pendents for two years after they had
entered the International Harvester
company.