Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-03-12

cite on the back Of my cel1uIoid mir
ror, and then suddenly she threw back
her head and laughed.
"Minnte!" she said, between fits,
Minnie! As long as I live I'll never
forget that wretched boys face! And
the sand boxes! And the blankets
over the windowsi And the tarpaulin
over the rafters! And Mr.. Van Al
styne sitting on the lawnmower! I'd
rather have had my minute in that
doorway than fifty thousand doIlars!"
IF you had had to carry out all
those things" began, but she
checked me.
'Listen!" she said Somebody with
brains has got TO take you young peo-
pie in hand. You're not able to look
after yourselves. I'm fond of Alan
Pierce, for one thing, and I don't care
to see a sanatoTium that might have
been the child Of my soIicitude kid
mapped and reared as a summer hotel
by Papa Thoburn. A good fat man is
very, very good, Minnie, but when he
is bad he is horrid."
Its too late" l objected feebly.
He can't get it now"
Cant he!" She got up and yawned,
stretching. We'll, I'll lay you ten to
one that if we don't get busy he'll have
the house empty in thirty-six hours,
and a bill of sale on it in as many
days" Then she told me what she
knew Of Thoburn's scheme, and it
turned me cold
Doctor Barnes came to me at the
news stand the next morning before
gymnasium.
Well" he said, you look as busy
as a dog with fieas. Have you heard
the glad tidings?"
| 'What?" l asked without much spir-
it. I've heard considerable tidings
lately, and not much Of it has cheered
me up any"
He leaned over and ran his fingers
up through his hair.
| "fYou know, Miss Minnie" he said,
somebody ought kindly to kill our
friend Thoburn, or he'll come to a bad
emu"
Shall 1 do it, or will your" I said,
filling up the chewing gum jar. (Mr.
Pierce had taken away the candy
case.)
Doctor Barnes glanced around to
see if there was anyone near, and
| leaned farther over.
The cupboard isn't empty now!" he
| 7
part of the night in the Dicky-bird' s
nest! What do you think is in the
cupboard?"
q know about it," I said shortly
'Liquor-in a case labeled Books
breakable.
Almost a goal. But not only liquors,
my little friend. Champagne-cas OF
it-caviar, canned grouse with truf-
f1es, lobster, cheese, fine cigars, every
thing you could think of, erotic, ex-
otto and narcotic. An orgy in cans
and bottles, a bacchanalian reveI; a
cupboard full of indigestion, joy, for.
getfulness and katzenjammer Oh, my
! suffering palate, to have to leave it all
without one sniff, one sip, one nibble!'
He's wasting his money" I said
| They're all crazy about the simple
life"
He looked around and, seeing no one
in the lobby, reached over and took
one of my hands.
Strange" he said looking at it.
mo webs, and yet it's been an amphi.
bious little creature most Of it's life
My dear girl, our friend Thoburn is a
rascal, but he is also a student OF
mankind and a philosopher. Geo." he
said, think of a woman fighting her
way alone through the world with Bit
of fist like that"
l jerked my hand away.
It's like this, my dear" he said
I Human natures a curious thing. It's
human nature, for instance, for ne to
be crazy about you, when you're as
hands-offish as a curly porcupfne And
it is human nature, by the same token
to like to be bullied, especially about
health, and to respect and admire the
fellow who does the bullying. That's
why we were crazy about Roosevelt
and that's why Pierce is trailing his
kingly robes over them while they lie
on their faces and eat dirt-ant
stewed fruit"
He reached for my hand again, but ]
put it behind me.
But alas" he said, there is another
side to the human nature, and ouI
friend Thoburn has not kept a sum
mer hotel for nothing. It is notorious
ly weak, especially as to stomach. You
may feed 'em prunes and whole-wheat
bread and apple sauce, and after 6
while they'll forget the fat days, ant
remember only the lean and hungry
ones But let some student of human
nature at the proper moment introduce
Just one fat day, one feast, one
revel-"
Talk English" I said Sharply.
Don't break in on my flights o.
fancy" he objected. eff you wan
the truth, Thoburn is going to have {
party-a forbidden feast. He's going
to rouse again the sleeping dogs of ap
petite, and send them ravening bach
to the Plaza, to Sherry's and Del:
and the little Italian restaurants or
Sixth avenue. He's going to take
them upon high mountain and show
them the wines and delicatessen o.
the earth, and then ask them if,they're
off some other fond creature clings t.
the hand of the latter one, and anoth