Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-06-30
UNCLE JOHNS STORY
Started With Bears and Drifted to
Boys.


putty nigh every story they is, but il
you two little fellowsll come set on
my knee I'll see T l can ramble back
through the days when your OF Uncle
John was a boy an find sumpin that'll
interest you.
Uncle John, hale, ruddy, and nigh
onto his three score years and ten,
shifted his quid of tobacco from the
left side to the right, spat reflectively
and accurately-into the glowing
oak wood fire, gathered his two neph-
ews, aged ten and twelve, each to a
knee, and began.
"Fust an foremost, boys I'm a-goin'
to throw away this chaw Of terbaccer,
cause l can't talk good with it in my
mouth an don't believe it's good
example to set you boys, nohow. l
been chawin' it for nigh onto 60 years
now, but if l had it all to do over again
the stuff'd never go in my mouth. Oh,
l guess I'm too old to quit it now, for
it's mighty hard, as I've told you be-
fore, to teach an OF dog new tricks, or
to break him Of his old uns for that
matter; an besides, l don't calculate I
got so many more years to stay here,
nohow. But if l wuz ten years younger
I'd quit it or bust. Same way bout
smokin', too. It's sorry sort O. habit
we picked up from the Injuns, they
say, only we made it wuss by eatin'
the stuff as we'll as smokin' it. Guess
leavin' sich dirty habit with us wuz
bout the only way the pore Injuns
could get even with us fer stealin' all
their land from 'em, and from what
the gov'ment says we pay fer terbac-
Ger every year, 1 guess the debts
about even.
Yes, l learned how to use terbaccer
when l was little fellow, only so high
an l guess l learnt mainly cause l
thought il was smart, and like a man
to do it, jest like s'pose lots O. young
boys think these days. We started by
smokin' cross-vine and corn silks and
sich stuff, and then when we got big
enough to git little terbaccer we got
to goin' off in the woods to smoke an
chaw that. All the time we thought
we wuz doin' a big trick, cause we'd
seen the men smokin' and chawin'.
Now, boys, 1 amt sayin' that
chawin' and smokin' terbaccer is sich
a turrible crime, fer I've knowed some
mighty good men that done it. In my
opinion, the meanest man is the one
who wrongs his neighbor, an tells lies
and sich things as that, and generally
the feller who uses terbaccer don't do
these things any more'n the feller who
don't. But 1 been a-thinkin, boys, that
there's a mighty sight O. good money
bein' spent for this Injun weed! What
I've spent fer it myself in the last so
and there's lots O. men that use more'n
do. There's neighbor Bill Johnson
you know him. To my certain knowl-
edge, Bills boys an gals amt goin' to
school this winter cause they aint'
got no shoes, and Bills wife still
makes the family's clothes with her
fingers cause Bills too pore to buy her
a sewin' machine. Still Bill chaws
reg'lar an when he goes to town with
the boys he thinks it's mighty smart
to set 'em all up to segars. Now I
don't want to be unkind to Bill, fer I
hold that a feller orta be lowed to do
as he pleases, so long as he don't hurt
nobody else But blamed If don't be-
lava hoe burtip, Sopo ahodv alca uyban
he keeps them pore little kids out O.
school jest because he wants to smoke
his segars and chaw terbaccer. Then
they's another thing: Don't pear to
me like a mans treatin' his boys jest
right to set em sich an example. It's
the naturalist thing in the world for a
boy to think his daddy's the greatest
feller they is, an to want ado what
ever he does. Small wonder, then, l
say, that If the Of man does things
that amt exactly right the boys is "a
goin' to come mighty near doin' 'em,
too.
Boys, do you know what l thinks
one o the finest things in all creation?
I'll tell you; A young man, tall, clean,
strong, an straight as one O. them
pines down in the woods; lad with a
clear eye, a clean skin an clean
heart; a feller who don't tell lies an
who believes in treatin all men
square. I've lived long time, now,
an it seems to me that the young fell
lers who's amounted to most wuz of
this kind. Fact is, these days boy
who uses Ticker or terbaccer stands a
mighty pore show gettin' good job or
maxim a success Of anything. Men
who hire boys don't want fellers all
pZened up with whisky an smoke, an
that's what they is-pure pizen.
You boys is comm on to be men,
now, an you mustn't forget what your
ole Uncle John has told you bout
these things. Don't ever think you'll
have to use terbaccer and whisky to
be smart an manly, fer the times al
ready come when the strong an manly
man knows these things is bad.
Well / declare" said Uncle john
rousing himself, here l been settin
a-tallin' to you boys bout nothin in
pertic'lar, an l had it in my mind to
tell you bout the time me an my ole
dog Crockett treed the bear down one
Tallahala, an how that ere bear chas-
ed us. Been a-talkin' to you here fer
an hour, an amt told you no story at
ALL"
1T was a good story, Uncle" said
the elder of the boys, as they bade the
old man goodnight, "and we liked it."
Progressive Farmer.
Music of the Spheres.-The ancients
were of the opinion that the planets in