davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1914-11-06
LUKE McLUKE SAYS
('I9I!nsuI-IlguuIou!O)

Yu can teach a girl any of the Sci
ences. But you can't make her I'M
derstand that if she would wear red
flannel underwear she wouldn't need
furs.
The old-fashioned woman who
thought of nothing but clothes now
has a daughter who hardly gives
clothes a thought when she is dress
ing to go out.
Charity has a fat chance in this
world When a man wants ii be gen.
erCuS he always begins with himself
and can't get any further.
Marriag els one institution that will
always flourish despite the knocks Of
the Wise Guys. When you have
warm, soft bundle Of girlhood in your
arms and the wonderful perfume of
her hair makes your whole system
tingle. and she hold you so tight that
you can ghear her heart beatln
against yours, and you realize that
she regards YOU as the Guy who puts
the Sun and lights out of the moon
what are you going to do, kick her in
the Stats, or ask hen 20 let you be her
door mat for life?
Father spends ten years of his life
telling the children that Caster OIL
isn't bad to take, and then wonders
why the children do not honor and re-
spect him when they grow up.
When a married man hears his wife
saw that she has nOthinb more to say
he gets ready to settle down for two
hours while she says it.
There isn't anything new under the
sun. The Corsetless Effect had its
origin in the Garden of Eden.
The old-fashioned little girl whose
birthday present used to be China
cup, bearing the inscription For a
Good Little Girl" now has little
girl who wants a manicure set, a real
willow plume and a vanity bag every
time she has a birthday.
You are never too lod to learn
Even a chorus girl doesn't know 1t all.
What has become OF the old-fashlon-
ed toothbrush that used to be common
property in the home?
When a girl tells man to quit ana
he quits she gets mad at him be-
cause she told him to quit.
The man who never uses a napkin
at home makes the loudest KICK IL
the waiter forgets to give him nap
kin when he is dining out.
The fellows who mind their own
business are the ones who nave all
the luck.
The only excuse some women seem
to have for gettins married is that
they had to have some mutt to KICK
the cat out of the house every night.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1914-11-06
DASHED HIS HOPES OF GLORY
Wouid-6e Military Hero, Aged Eleven,
Recognized Call That There Was
No Disobeyina.

Senator John Sharp Williams was
never in the Confederate army. But
the fault is not his. He started with
the best intentions, as we'll as with a
knapsack filled with a good lunch.
The war was at it's height when he
was big boy of eleven, and as his
father was in the army, and dozens of
friends and relatives had gone forth
to battle against the dreaded "Yank,"
John Sharp one night decided that his
country called him to arms. The fact
that he was only eleven, and about the
only road he knew was that to the
candy shop, did not deter him. Out
in the darkness of the night the "call"
Of his country sounded as loud as the
dinner horn to hungry field hands.
So young William arose and set
forth down the road in the early dawn.
And as he tramped down the lanes of
dust, past the still farmhouses over
which hung the early smoke from the
kitchen chimney, he dreamed dreams
of how he would come back on a
prancing charger covered with glory,
gore and gold lace. Then suddenly
behind him he heard the lope of an ap-
preaching horseman Looking back,
he saw it was old Uncle Zeph on the
blind mule. Uncle Zeph pulled up the
mule with jerk beside his young mas
ter.
John, your nav says as how you
better be gittin' back home in hurry.
She amt er goin' ter stand fur no SIGH
COINS on" exploded Zeph. You jes'
elm up here hind me on dis mule and
he'll tote us home ter breakfast"
So John climbed aboard the mule
and turned his face homeward, leaving
in the ashes of dead past his high
hopes of military glory.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1914-11-06
DOGS HIKE COVERED MILES
To Reach Old Master He Made Dis
tance of Many Leagues in
Two Months.

A. A. Smith of Sterling received a
telegram declaring that a dog for
which he had conducted wide search
after losing the animal in Denver is in
American Falls, Idaho, with friends,
according to a Sterling (Col) dis
patch The dog, Scotch collie, made
its way on foot from Denver to the
Idaho town, covering the distance of
975 miles in three days less than two
months.
The dog had been raised in the Idaho
town. He was purchased by Smith
and shipped from Idaho July Is. He
was placed in baggage car and
fastened with a collar and chair. The
dog was on the train when it reached
Denver. Smith went to the baggage
car to claim the dog. He and the bag
gage man were astounded to find the
dog missing. The collar, securely
fastened to the chain, remained to tell
in what manner he had made his es-
cape.
Smith spent four days in Denver
hunting for the dog and advertised
extensively in the newspapers. He
finally gave up hope of ever hearing
of the animal again.
The telegram from the former own.
ers of the dog at American Falls in
formed Smith that the dog had just
arrived there and that he was foot
sore, weary and otherwise suffering
from his long, and what must have
been an eventful, journey
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1914-11-06
New Power Vehicle.

The latest addition to the family of
motor-driven vehicles is the autoped.
This machine has the carrying plat
form below the wheel axles and is
designed to be ridden while standing
upright on one Or both feet, the con-
troll being in the steering pillar. The
engine, 2k horsepower, is built in
the front wheel and the steering pillar
is hollow, serving also as the gasoline
supply tank. The working parts are
entirely inclosed, making them dust
proof, and there are no pedals or
cranks about the machine, which will
maintain, so the inventor claims, an
average speed OF 20 miles per hour
over country roads, with a consump-
ton of gasoline of but one gallon to
the hundred miles.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1914-11-06
RESULTS THAT REMAIN.
Are Appreciated by Our People.

Are Appreciated by Our People.
Thousands who suffer from back
ache and kidney complaint have tried
one remedy after another, finding only
temporary benefit. This is discourag-
ing, but there is one kidney medicine
that has earned a reputation for last
ing results and there is plenty of proof
of its merit right here in Paris.
Here is the testimony of one who
used DOan's Kidney Pills years ago,
and now moke her testimony even
stronger
Mrs. j. T. Martin, Pleasant &
Eleventh Streets, Paris, KY, says: Il
suffered quite severely from pains
across the small of my back and in my
kidney. The trouble alarmed me and
| tried many medicines. l did not
get relief however, until | procured
Doan's Kidney pills at Wilson's Drug
Store, (now Butler e Co.'s Drug
Store) They improved my condition
in every way. All l have ever said
praising Doan's Kidney Pills was en-
tirely correct and confirm my former
endorsement of this remedy. They
permanently cured me of kidney trou-
ble"
Price Soc, at all dealers. Don't SIM
ply asks for a didney remedy-get
Doan's Kidney Pills-the same that
Mrs. Martin had. Foster-Milburn Co.,
Props, Buffalo, N Y.
(dav)
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1914-11-06
Put Ban on Veto.

1t is recalled that at the papal con
ciave of 1903, not a little sensation
was caused by the revelation that EN-.
peror Francis Joseph of Austria had
ordered Cardinal Puzyna, archbishop
OF Cracow, to pronounce the imperial
veto against the election of Cardinal
Rampolla, who was suspected of be.
ing friendly to France. On that &C.
casion Cardinal Oreglia stated that
the conclave could not accept such
communication or take it into ac-
count, and, although Cardinal Ram
polia was not chosen, Plus X regarded
the incident with the greatest indig-
nation, and issued bull directing that
any cardinal attempting to repeat the
veto in future would be placed under
the major ban. or be communicated.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1914-11-06
Valuable California Sprinq.

Arsenic in quantities SURPRISING the
percentage of the only other spring Of
it's kind in the world has been dis
covered in the waters Of the springs at
Arrowhead, north of San Bernardino,
Cal. According to the analysis the
water at Arrowhead was found to con-
tain one-twentieth of a grain of
arsenic to the gallon, while that of the
only other known spring in the world,
at Bourboule, France, contains one
siXty-seventh of, a grain to the gallon.
This latter percentage Of arsenic is
found in steam caves in Waterman
canyon. The springs at Bourboule,
France, are considered to be of such
value that the government has erected
a sanatorium costing 100000 for the
benefit Of the French people.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1914-11-06

There is no red tape around our
method of repairing telephone
troubles and correcting faults i'll
the service. When a report of
trouble is made to us it goes imme-
diately to the proper department
and the investigation begins at
once. The equipment, that is the
subscribers line from the switch
board to the telephone instrument,
is thoroughly tested. and if neces-
sarv, is inspected personally by a
competent man. We have delicate
instruments on the dashboard that
show the nature Of a trouble and
indicate it's location.
Oftentimes the trouble is in a
cable or in a telephone instrument
and is of an involved nature. In
such cases it is necessary to send a
man out on the trouble. This re-
quires more or less time and we
realize that there is likely to be an
unfortunate appearance Of delay
Oh our part. We hope our sub
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1914-11-06
DOES AWAY WITH HANDWORK
Wonderful Machine That Embroiders
Dozens Of Pairs of Stockings Prac-
ticalIy simultaneously.

Shortly before the war it was re-
ported from Germany that openwork
stockings would probably be more
plentiful and cheaper as the result Of
an invention which permits their man
ufacture by machinery instead of by
machine is described in a report made
by E. Kilbourne Foote, United States
vice-consul at Chemnitz, Germany.
He says: "A machine has recently
been perfected in Saxony which en-
broiders clocks and ornamental de-
signs on three dozen pairs az pieces)
OF socks or stockings simultaneously,
2S8 stitches being made at one time.
Intricate patterns and also openwork
embroidering can be done on coarse
as we'll as on the finest grades Of
cotton, Isle or silk finished or unfin-
ished hose
Another great advantage of the ma
chine is that it Obviates leaving ho-
siery for weeks with the hand embroid-
erers, whose work is always booked
far ahead, and large orders which
formerly could be executed only on
long terms for delivery can now be
filled rapidly. 1t has always been diff
cult to get good handworkers for fine
black hosiery. as embroidering on
black affects the eyesight. With the
new machine only one man and one
girl are required to do the work"
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1914-11-06
No Library Complete Without Ther

wv 1'H' al SoliIpiCtC WITHOUT ! mem.
The next book agent which the
lady of the house will be compelled
to welcome with a door SIAM" writes
Jess Morley, will be the man who
is selling the new and complete his
tory, of the European war, lady, which
has just been published from the
Blink & Blank publishing house and
bound in real Morocco, lady, with all
the latest and best photographs of the
rulers and their military leaders, with
views of the troops, battles, Skin
mishes and the graphic accounts Of
the events that led up to the war, to-
gether with the revised and complete
list Of the engagements. the towns
and cities in which the important
lighting took place, lady, and the
scenes that have become famous, al
Tor the very reasonable installment ar
rangement of two dollars and sixty
tive cents down and a dollar every
thirty minutes thereafter. You can't
afford to be without it kansas City
Star.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1914-11-06
HIS CENSORSHIP WAS STRICT
Duke Of Weliington's Order Prevented
World Knowing About Result
of Waterloo

The absolute embargo which has
ly every war department of Europe
brings to attention again the old
question of the rights of the public
and the necessities of the strategists
in a campaign to prevent their move
ments becoming known to the enemy.
Even century ago." says F.
Lauriston Billiard in his book on "Fa-
nous War Correspondents" the Duke
OF Wellington was registering pro-
tests against such mild type of war
reporting as that done by Crabbe
Robinson in the peninsula
I'm 1909 the duke declared that in
some instances the English newspa-
pers have accurately stated not only
the regiments occupying a position,
but the number of men fit for duty
Of which each regiment was COM
posed, and this intelligence must have
reached the enemy at the same time
it did me, at moment at which it
was most important that he should
not receive it,"
This author is of the opinion that
but for the protests of the Iron Duke
the world would know far more about
the BATTLE of Waterloo than was pos
sible in the absence of trained mar
rators.
The present degree of secrecy is
so complete that the newspapers of
London are all protesting privately to
the war Office and publicly in their
editorial columns, and there is likely
to be some relaxation of the rule.
In his discussion of the whole ques-
ton of publicity of war news and the
demands which patriotism at times
makes for the suppression of intelli-
gence, Mr. Mullard cities the famous
war artist, Frederic Villiers, who long
ago declared that publicity. pub
licity, publicity is the greatest factor
and force in our public life"
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1914-11-06
The Shivers.

"One of the duke of Wellington's
famous sayings was that every uni
form didn't cover "a hero"
The speaker was Col. George Har-
vey He continued:
THE best drilled troops have never
fought before. How, then, can they
fight we'll when they see on every side
their companions getting their heads
and arms and legs blown off?
"Chivalry may have been all very
we'll in the past, but today is the day
of machine guns, and so / rather hold
today to the little girls definition. of
chivalry.
'Chivalry. said she. is when you
feel cold.'"
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1914-11-06
THE CHARM
OF MOTHERHOOD
Enhanced BY Perfect Pnysi-
cal Health

The experience of Motherhood is a try
ing one to most women and marks dis
tinctly an epoch in their lives. Not one
woman in hundred is prepared or I'M
Gerstands how to properly care for her.
self. Of course nearly every woman
nowadays has medical treatment at such
times, but many approach the expert
ence with an organism untitled for the
trial of strength, and when it is over
her system has received shock from
which it is hard to recover. Following
right upon this comes the nervous strain
of caring for the child, and distinct
change in the mother results.
There is nothing more charming than
e happy and healthy mother of children
and indeed childbirth under the right
conditions need be no hazard to health or
beauty. The mexplsinable thing is
that, with all the evidence of shattered
nerves and broken health resulting from
an unprepared condition, snd with am
pie time in which to prepare, women
will persist in going blindly to the trial.
Every WOIudu dC tiiS tIiIc Snouiu rely
upon Lydia E. PinkhaEl's Vegetable
Compound, a most valuable tonic anG
iavigorator Of the female organism.
In many homes SNS~SSiN
c-ce childiess there WTs<V&%ANM
ere now children be- lY II SVl
cause of the fact 4 Va &R
that Lydia E. Pink ~ y II
hams Vegetable N IA IL
Compound m AXE Nh &sNsssg,/M
women normal, SIlE&dIMS2NhS
healthy and strong S s7SS e75ssASS
II you want special advice write to
Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Co. Conf
dentiaD Lynn, Mass. Yeur letter will
he opened, read and answered by q
woman and held IN strict confidence.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1914-11-06
a. Bell Telephone
~ Bulletins
~ $500
o-Hoxu TpouR1FS ApE pEpA1prn


scriberS will understand that we
are not neglecting their trouble
just because they do not see man
actually at work ON their tele-
phone. Frequently troubles occur
on telephones and are detected by
us and corrected by us without the
subscriber knowing his line has
been out of order.
The only thing in which we deal
is telephone service. We cannot,
give good service over lines that
are III trouble. 1t is to our vital
interest to keep all lines clear and
we are constantly ON the job. We
employ men who are especially
trained for this work. A complete
record is kept of every trouble and
complaint, the hour it is reported
and the hour it is corrected. We
are in close touch with the situa-
ton at all hours. We want our
subscribers to know this and to
realize that their interests are our
interests.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1914-11-06
Helping the Youngsters.

One of the Chicago municipal court
judges has established library for
foreign boys in the boys court Ar
rangements have been made by him
with the public library to furnish
books written in the native tongues
OF the nationalities most frequently
represented in the court.r-The Living
Church.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1914-11-06
Rooms For Rent.

Furnished rooms for rent in a con-
Portable home close to business cen
ter. All conveniences; convenient to
postoffice, opera house, Churches, etc.
Apply at this cEce.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1914-11-06

In m any homes
cree childiess there
ere now children be-
cause of the fact
that Lydia E. Pink
hams V eye table
Compound m ak e S
won en- norm al
healthy and strong
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1914-10-12
Cronicas de L.ondres
Ell TAMESIS GLORIOSO.

Londres, septiembre de 19l4.-4a
desde las riberas del Kew Gardens, re
montando su curse, ell Tamesis tlene ell
encanto de las rios legendarios, que en-
otro tempo sc representation en- los
bIasones ciudadanos como viejos dloses
apoyados en- nn anfora 8 recostados en-
Ia pena. de que brotaba un claro ma
nantial, y con la faz ornada por una
inmensa blanca barba que lntentaba
copiar las espumas fiuviales. Como las
eianias. hasrq en- los dias clarOs, no
cense aqui borrosas y desvaidas, el pal
sale de tOdos los rincones Y meandros
tiene un 1ltimo tGrmino de ensueno.
Los expresses pareccn ahllarse EN- la
cumbre de las cOlinaS remotas; al aqua
de la cOrrientc mansa espeja Y apenas
RIA las imagancs invertidas de las ar
boledas cercaras, de las torreclilaS, de
los teiados DE- pizarra, de los mastiles
con bandero!as y las frondas de los
sauces caen como cabelleras y las ma
sas de castaiios, de olmos, de alamOs
ncoros. forma rln mismo fOndo, con to-
das las gradaciones del verde, sobre las
verdes praderas que parecen arrancar
en- suave declive del fondo del mismo
RIO
En- este es1cnariO encantador pasan
unas semanas los arist6cratas ingleses.
y no solo en- los hOteles y en- las quin-
tas ocultas entire las umbrias aSOma-
dos al borde del aqua, sino en- barcos
que tienen algo de yates Y algo de no.
teleS, que son como cajaS de cristal y el
mismo tempo como enormes cestas de
flores Palaclos fOtanteS ancladOs en-
los rincones propios, donde el aqua es
mas clara Y el paisaje mas bello. Baje-
les en- que no hay trepidaci6n de moto-
res nj humo de otras chimeneas que las
de la cOcina, donde ell "maitre d 'hotel" ="
actua de ofclal de cuarto.
Todos estos navios de placer tienen
una teraza llena de flores gayas pro-
tegida por toIdos de Iona, donde las da-
miselas, vestidas de dolores claros 8
simplemente ataviadas con un jersey,
para remar despu6s, toman ell t6, to-
can el piano . leen. A los cuatro
vicntos Sc abren los miradores De un
barco otro Sc tienden pasarelas, por
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1914-10-12

donde las amigas Sc visitan. 7 en- el
remate de los palos que sostienen los
toldos aletean al viento las flamulas, CO.
mo ilusorios pajaros tropicales y can
tivos.
Alrededor 1e esta ciudad fotante y
efimera, que solo dura 10 que duran los
dias de sol. un enjambre de esquifes, de
yolas, de botaE, de barquichuelos de to-
do genero van vienen incesantemente.
Unos son alargados afilados, con la
proa Y la pora alzada, como las pira-
guas midas; otros rematan en- espiral,
al modo de las gondolas venecianas, CO.
mo mastiles oe violoncellos; otros son
anchos pianos, dejan fotar sobre ell
aqua ell terciopelo de un cojin sobre ell
que reposa una silueta femenina con un
libro en- la mano. Los herraj jes son do
radios niquelados; las maderas finas
pulimentadas Tn hada previsora
parece cuidarse de auyentar de estos
paraies las cosas feas. A veces, las mu-
chachas inician una regatta; en- ocasio-
neS, las lindaS embarcaciones desfilan
en- una alegre procession hacia alg1n
rinc6n lejano, V uno solo We las hileras
de remos bruIidos por el aqua al sol
Y la policrom;a de los quitasoles; mas
raramente, en- fin, Sc repite la sombra
de los arboles, una temprana hora
matinal, ell mito de las nayades agiles,
rubias. :.
Apenas comienza ell crepisculo. en-
ciendense bajo las blancas lonas de los
toldos los ARGOS voltaicos Su luz viO-
leta Sc difundc dulcemente en- ell claror
postrero del ola, y chispea en- la argen-
terra y en- la cristaleria de las vaiillas,
sohre los blancos manteles. Vestidas
como para nn salon, las mujeres Sc
Sientan en- silones de mimbre. Y sobre
ell fondO canpeStre de la decoration,
los fraques las camisas brillanteS de
los hombres son de una elegancia cere-
moniosa. De aqui Y de ALA vienen ra-
fagas de violines y de perfumes. La
claridad de IA tarde Sc prolonga infni-
tamente. Y Il aqua del rio parece
aquietarse mss, detenerse perezosamen-
te, resistirse a seguir su camino hacia
Londres, como 81 presin.tiera la grasa
de las maquinas y de las grdas, el ear
bon de los rcmolcadores, el horror de
los docks, donde esa hora estaran aca-
bando su tarea las multitudes misera-
bles. .
Juan PUJOL.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1914-10-12
Sc V EN- DE
Juan PUJOL.

Una casa de planta baja de MADEIRA
del pals y techada de zinc; sta en- ell
oarrlo de Santurce en- ell lu-
gar denominado MINILLAS, GALE
DEL ROSARIO No. 10, biloxi 1O3.
Nide e: solar, en- que Ia casa Sc levan.
"a, SEISCIENTOS SETENTA Y GIN.
co METROS.
Esta asegurada contra incendios
Informaran:
Sues. de M. Lomba y ca.
Tetu1n 81, San Juan. P r
Avdt.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1914-10-12

Una composlcion cientlfca para curar las
Intermediates de hos hombres. Los medicos
han encontrado en- elias los resultados mas
eficaces y rapidos. Representan ell gran
exito alcanzado por la medicina para curar
esas Intermediates. Davis s. Lawrence Co.. NY.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1914-10-12
Sc ALQUILA

Ell Ter. piso calle San Jose 81. Tiene
sala y aposentos.
Informara: Fernando Schliiter, en- la
misma casa edo. piso.
Adyt.
BoletiÌn mercantil de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 18??-1918, 1914-10-12
Traslado de Oficina

El Dr. Molina de st. Remy, Oculista
Especialista para las enfermedades
lei dido, nariz y garganta, avisa a su
1ientela y al pubico, ell traslado de su
PoLICLINICA y residencia, a la calle
de San Francisco No. 70 Salvador
Brau), lado Norte de la Plaza Colon.
Consultas de 10 IL y de 2 as.
Avdt.