Atlanta Georgian., 1914-02-22


to bring me right out here
The drop of a nickel on a plush sofs
is sufficient. You know It's always
human nature to desire to DO that
which we are least qualified TO do
hence my dashing out here trying
TO impress you with speech.
There are no many people trying
to tell us how TO live. II is absurd;
they live themselves--and that is
all they can possibly do. and mind
their own business.
This Is getting 10 be bum ocun-
try. anyway. I'm going to get out
not that the country cares a rap
but the men running It are
boobs. met three or four com
mittees in Washington the other
day. One committee had a South
American toucan--one Of those
birds with n long bt1 witn-hiue and
red and green coloring on It. and
they wanted 20 have ma arrested
for painting the bilA Of this bird.
Now, how are such pc0ple capable
Of running the country when they
don't know a South American par
rot7 II can't De done, ladies and
gentlemen.
offer this as an excuse for my
inability to make n speech on the
income tax law. II involves differ
entail calisthenics combined with
algebraio equations, and has 20
filed my mind that I can think OF
nothing else. You must carry in
your mind first that = man must
earn $4,000 a year in order to be-
taxable. Up 70 that point the Gov
ernment thinks him an albright
person--but at $1,000 he begins to
show signs of danger to the CON-
munity at large
The income tax law was gotten
up by the Democrats 70 annoy the
Republicans. This is how 1t stands
the man who earns 5000 has TO
pay one-eighth OF one-tenth OF one
sixteenth OF what he had before he
started. previous 10 paying his
laundry bill, which is exactly what
his employer must have forwarded
to the Government My friends, I'm
sure you see how clear that it?
Now, II the same man earns
$4,000 n year and is married to
blonde and they have one child, the
Government realizes that It costs
something to keep this wife a
blonde, year in and year out, and
they make an exception and a re-
duction for that. They also say, In
their graeiousness, that one child is
liable TO happen TO any married
couple; so they make reduction
for that. which is only fair and Just
buff he has second child
ahi this is getting serious,
isn't II. SO he has TO pay extra for
that.
Now. we figure Il that the same
man with the blonde wife and nine
children would owe the Government
in excess of the two thousand dol.
lars, Sass. The words Of a far
reaching justice will be found on
page 1000, volume IS, that where
as. II this man is bereft Of wife and
children the Government owes him
So.
I'm going to run for President Of
the United States In 1916. You
viii be glad to learn that Theodore
Roosevelt viii run with me. II
happened this way: He met me on
the street and he said:
"Ichee Koo! 1 understand you're
going 90 run for President of the
United States" and said, YES.
] am"
He said: ''wen. that settles il. OF
course, II you're going to rue I
shall not think OF running"
Then / said. For Heavens sake,
Colonel. don't feel that way about
It. II you feel that way about II,
why not be Vice President with
meT'
And he said. "Au right. will II
Bryan has no objections
And l would like to take this op-
portunity, ladies and gentlemen. OF
recommending the Colonel and my
self for your consideration and for
your votes. know the Colonel
wouldn't Ike this--he is so modest
and retiring. I'm sure we would
make a great pair--I sing funny
songs and the Colonel goes hunting
lot. He IS great on hunting. I've
often wondered II the family al