Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-03-29

ed his mouth and commenced to read he
would receive the unanimous approval OF
those assembled. who would signify their !,
pleasure by smilingly nodding their APP
prevail, by exchanging whispered
words of favorable comment.
Sometimes l used to enjoy these emu
sions. but very often / grew bored, and
longed to hear a rollicking bit Of verse,
a laugh-provoking narrative or a chapter
or two from one of the new fiction books.
l used to watch the faces of my intel
lectual club members as the amateur
literary attempts fell upon their ears, and
often wondered what sort of expressions
would overspread their countenanoes II
some one should feed their ears with q
literary abortion. I shuddered with
pleasure at the thought. AS April 1 ap-
preached l conceived a wicked plan to
surprise and fool my club members.
Fate worked hand In hand with me.
for luckily I was the one destined to
compose the article to be read April
Fools day. l worked hard on my essay.
believe me. and when l finally finished
it and read 1t over I was well repaid for
my efforts. 1t was about the most nom
sensical combination OF words and
phrases and idictic epigrams that I have
ever heard Of Most of it was horribly
illterate-I worked extra hard to make
it So Following close on the heels of a
perfectly scnseiess sentence was a golden
thought, framed in the finest English.
Recently when I read Berton Braley's
conglomeration of nonsensical w@rds in
verse. a la kipling, and which Concluded
something like this, 1T doesn't mean a
single thing, but amt 1t impressive
dope?' / was forcibly reminded OF my
April Fool masterpiece.
well. when the fatal day arrived I
arose, walked solemnly to the platform
and commenced to read my masterpiece
impressively and without allowing a single
smile to break forth. 1 will draw the cur
tain on the painful climax. Let It suffice
that before had half finished my article
I was rushed Off the stage, with the harsh
words of rebuke of the president ringing
In my ears. A few Of the more power
full members of the society had sense
of humor, and it was solely due to their
efforts in my behalf that I was not
thrown out of the literary circle immedi-
ately"
When Representative Thomas F. Konop
was acquiring his education he attended
the Northern Illinois College Of Law. and
was considered by all OF his college
friends a great debater. Thereby hangs
another April Fool tale.
There was a certain young lady re-
siding near our college, and who attended
admired in those days" said Mr.. Konop.
"She was very beautiful girl and her
company was much sought after by the
young men of the community, who con-
sidered the slightest attention OF hers
a great honor.
zone lucky day I was chosen to en-.
gage in a debate at our debating club
r
sidered myself a past master in the art
Of debating. 1 decided to ask this young
lady to accompany me to the debate.
was quite sure she would look upon me
in more favorable light after discover
ing how eloquent could be.
Il wrote her a missive requesting the
pleasure of her company, etc, etc, and
then called in messenger to deliver the
note l was foolish enough to contde my
intentions to my roommate. who immedi-
ately got into communication with two or
three other jokerS at our college, and one
of them waylaid the messenger, bribing
him to turn over the note to him. while
another called on the young lady and
asked to take her driving that afternoon
A third penned note to me. purporting
to be written by the young lady, thank
ing me for my kind invitation and accept
ing with the greatest of pleasure. This
was delivered by messenger and need
less to say, l was overjoyed by her &C.
ceptance.
That afternoon I dressed with the
greatest Of care, hired a carriage and
drove to the young lady's home l failed
to see light runabout just disappear.
ing around the corner, In which was seat.
ed one of the boys and my lady fair.
when I arrived at her home and was
informed by the servant that she had
gone out driving with Mr.. So-and-so my
pride was crushed to the depths. 1 dom
know how l ever got through that debate.
but I do remember that it was a mis-
cradle failure. When l returned to my
room. the most demonstrating youth
imaginable. the first thing that met my
gaze was a big sign bearing the words
April Fool" in red ink tackled on my
door," TA'tt9s'