davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21
HOW TO SAVE
YOUR EYES
Try This Free Presentation.

Try This Free Prescription.
Do your eyes give you troublef
Do you already wear eyeglasses or
spectacles? Thousands OF people
wear these windows" who might
easily dispense with them. You
may be one Of these and It is your
duty to save your eyes before 1t 10
too late. The eyes are neglected
more than any other organ of the
entire body. After you finish your
days work you sit down and rest
your muscles, but how about your
eyes? Do you rest them? You
know you do not. You read or do
something else that keeps your
eyes busy; you work your eyes
SO many have strained eyes and
finally other eve troubles that
threaten partial or total blindness.
Eyeglasses are merely crutches:
they never cure. This free prescrip-
ton which has benefited the eyes
of SO many may work equal won
ders for you. Use 1t a short
s s@s w0 to sappe ss s ss eye
magic? Try this prescription: GO
to the nearest wide-awake drug
store and get a bottle of Diploma
tablets; fill two-ounce bottle with
waten drop in one tablet and al
low II to thoroughly dissolve. With
the liquid battle the eyes two to
four times daily. Just note how
quickly your eyes clear up and how
soon the Inflammation will disap-
pear. Don't be afraid to use t.; II
Is absolutely harmless. Many who
are now brfnd might have saved
their eyes had they started to care
for them In time. This is a simple
treatment. but marvelously effec-
tive in multitudes of cases. Now
that you have ben warned don't
delay a day, but do what you can
to save your eyes and you will
thank us as long as you live for
publishing this prescription.
Advertisement
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21
TEETH

Defective teeth cause
more disease than alcohol.
so says DR.. Osler, the
eminent medical author
ity.
its a fact, but hard to
convince most people of
it's truth.
timely dental care will
insure you all the best
things In life,
appetite, health, clean
illness, good appearance.
Electro Whalebone Plates
are lighter, stronger.
more durable, more
natural in appearance,
and because of them we
have been able to guar
antee a perfect and COM
plete satisfaction.
Contracts for plates in
clude the necessary ex-
tracing, and the price is
from $500 TO $500.
Painless Extraction SOC
An expert at extracting
teeth Is constantly In at
tendance at our office.
We are the specialists of
the city.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21
Is Doing Well

MIDDLETOWN, N. Y, Jan. Fl.
Race suicide seems to be far
from the thoughts of Mr.. and
Mrs. Stephen Laforge of Fair
oaks, near this city. Mrs. La
forge has given birth to her 22nd
child, a girl.
Laforge is ~ years old and
Mrs. Laforge Is as. There was
only one set of twins among the
22 children, IA of whom are liv-
ing. Laforge is the father of 81
children, having been married
twice, and had five children by
his first wife.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21
The Savings Are
the Test of
THE DRUG SALE

Every item of standard quality Mt savings that
are available only during a Stone Fisher Drug
Sale. These example
vi 100 Cough Syrup. White Pine and Tar, full
pint Special ................... soc
SCOTS Emulsion, 90 size. Special -. .89c
25c Peroxide, LIZ lib. size, full strength. Spec. lie
15c Peroxide, Ia lib. size, full strength. Spec. &c
Toe Thermometers, l minute clinical. Spec 49e
81 100 Universal Fountain Syringe qt size,
maroon rubber. guaranteed. Very special .59c
ST. Buckeye Water Bottle, black or red rub
ber at. size. Special ................. Soc
SOC Bourjois Java Rice Powder assorted shades
opoeidi soc
Toe Willow Toilet Water lie TREBLE Ideal, Honey
suckle, Locust Blossom, White Heliotrope, Cut
Rose. Green. Carnation, Jcky. Special :. .4Oc
csc 4711 Glycerinc Soap, rose and violet doors.
oahe '.... 49, ........ ....... lie
2Sc Armours Soaps, certified pure glycerine and
peroxide. Very special cake ..........f2c
35c Bars Floating CASTLE Soap. Special. :. .22c
III 90 Weyeth's Emulsion of cod liver oil and
hypophosphites. Special .............. Ggc
500 Hair Brushes, cushion backs, penetrator
bristies ............ ................. Soc
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21

While passing a small millinery
shop. old chap, l overheard an in
dignant customer expostulating
with the proprietress for unrea-
sonable delays In completing her
hat. The door was open, so
could not help overhearing these
wrathy words:
Say, are you building me lid
of skyscraper? Last time
Dared into this kelly bazaar you
gave me a double-barrled affida-
Wit that my bean cover would be
rugged in full sail by the time the
lunch whistle blew. And now
you've got a crust to say it amt
even got its coat of varnish. Well,
this is the last time | ever order
a beau-grabber at this joint"
MY WORD!
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21

Abe Lincoln Russia
because he couldn't tell what
he could have should
bench But would stump Abe Lincoln Him
OILS. to get the to that question: nowadays.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21

sandpat roasting Bryan appointing
diplomats
experience they've had democrats!
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21
MUTUAL BENEFIT.

II took long walk yesterday"
said Foreman, as he collapsed
into seat at Busyman's desk.
Take another, old man," sug-
gested Busyman; It'll do us both
good. Puck.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21

"Pa, Conentment
that Andy
the reporters"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21
EASY AND SURE.

EASY AND SURE.
Joe-What is the easiest way
to drive nail without smashing
my fingers?
Josephine-Hold the hammer
in both hands.-Ohio Sun Dial.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21

Indeed, he Is. Why, he even
ordered soft coal for the furnace,
because he thought 1t would be
easier to shovel than hard eoali"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21
BUT NOW HE KNOWS.

my husband Is the LATEST man
On EARTH" declared Mrs. Harlem.
Dear me! | wonder IL he is
lazier than mine," replied Mrs.
Bronx.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21
BRAIEYS POEM TO-DAY
INDIVIDUALITY

You can't be Shelly or Keats or Burns
Or Caesar or Edmund Kean;
They had their chance and they did their turns
And now they are gone, ween,
And why should you copy each august shade
Who lies a graveyard shelf?
HE didn't copy. his fame was made
BY being his own true self.
You cant be Kipling or Roosevelt
Or Wilson Bryan too,
But you can be known, and you can be felt,
BY being Yourself all through.
No man grows great when he initiates
For that is the way to fall;
The fellow who wins from the frowning fates
Must mark out his own clear trail
You may not reach to the heights of fame.
For few can climb high,
But at least you can play in the lively game
Whenever you want to try;
fou may not get to the top at all
Nor capture renown or pe1f
But. win lose. or rise or fall
AT least you can be yourself!
=
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21

TOO bad! Mrs. s. always has
such abominable weather for her
afternoon teas"
yes; she never pours but 1t
rains"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21
Taylor

Howard Taylor standpat republican speaker of
the last house at Olympia who with Jimmy Davis of
this city, and little coterie of special interest lack
eys the legislature for the benefit of Stone
Webster and other public utility corporations is out
for state senator in the King county district of Eagle
Gorge.
If the people want a competent representative of
crooked corporations of the old school who believes
the people simply for the benefit of these corpor-
ations they cannot do better than pick Taylor. He
is shrewd capable and absolutely subservent tool
of the special interests. He knows the game thor
oughly from the viewpoint of the corporation crowd
and if enough like him can be seated in the upper
house it will be a guaranty that no reform legislation
will ever get by.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21

.He-Are you particular about
how your chaperon looks?
She-Y-Yes, | want her to
look the other way!
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21

He-If l don't marry her she
is going to sue for $4,000 for
breach of promise!
She Why don't you marry
her, then?
He-Because IL / do she says
she will get a divorce with $50 a
week alimony.
WHY HE WENT UP.
81 suppose this talk about beat
ing your altitude record gets you
rather angry, doesn't it," asked
the aviator's friend.
YES" said the aeronaut. at
certainly makes me soar"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-01-21

maybe Murphy kicking himself over
$4,000, Tammany keep
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-01-20
Daysey Mayme
and Her Folks

tT>HERE was time when Mrs
i Lysander John Appleton burn
ed her hot water bag, DESTROYED
fler medicine bottles, and threw her
self for protection against all Ills o..
aches into the arms of FncjrofiI .iu
Good, and held the thought that sss
ana her family were we'll, -'
put one day pain struck her tbs.
deIed all mental argument. and sbs
sld out of the arms of EncirrIins
5000 and ref1lled her medicine CABS
me- me-, adoing eye-droppers, plasters.
iotions' air bags and a therrnometer
The articles in the newsnaners o.
Health" she told her husband 60
sure the wife and mother who doAsn,,
watch the family Temperatures
bought this thermometer that rn.r
become perfect wife and nothsr :
That evening when Chsuncev n.
we're. flushed from the exerois. NJ.
telling who slid to first bns. "a
caught a fly, or something Ike thai
ne was suddenly grabbed around m.
neck and something thrust into hts
mouth that caused him to choke.
You have a fever" exclaimed III.
mother an instant later. 1ooEine ms
silver thread in her hand, "caiI Tia
doctor quicki"
Chauncey Devere was husti.d -
s12. ea1iA'
A week later, when Dayssy M.vm.
passed over the border lins from r.
tail into wholesale in putttnr row..
on her cheeks. her mother thrust a
glass bulb down her throat and he,
efforts to fight against It raised her
temperature two notcheA Another
doctor. Unmarried Daysey Mayrns
bill. Wv
Lysander John came hama tfr,A .rS
cross. Like all men, he knew enlS
one way Of greeting his family.
is dinner ready?" he asked.
His wife, like all women, reulfex
that 1t was when 1t wasn't, and I,y-
sander John pulled UP his chair to
the table.
He waited one minute, fivs, ten. If
teen, and then began to grumble.
He hadn't had thing in his mouth
since breakfast. he growled, when
suddenly he felt a pair of hands
grasp him and something was put in
his mouth at last. 1t was hard and
cold and was thrust down his throat
till he began to sputter, gag and
choke.
No dinner for YOU said his wife
second later, holding the thermome-
ter trtumphantly near the light No
one with a fever should eat and YOU
are degree and a tenth above nor
NAL"
Lysander John has a vision Of bed,
no supper, a doctor, medicine and
bills, and with quick spring caught
the thermometer In his hands and
dashed it to the floor
There is no USE" sobbed his wife,
in woman trying to be an ideal
wife when she has husband"
FRANCES L. GARSIDE
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-01-20
Well Advised,

The waiter rubbed his hands as
stout lady. followed by family Of seven
hungry looking boys ana girls entered
the restaurant.
The head of the flock looked at the
bill Of fare. and selected steak as be-
ing fitted 10 her requirements
Steak for you. Reginald?" she in
quired OF the biggest boy
If you please, ma"
"SteaE for YOU, Bertha?"
Please, ma
"Ah." she said, when all seven had
fallen in with the steak idea, bring me
one nice steak, waiter-and eight
plates"
The knight of the serytette gasped
DO you hear me2' inquired the lady
Yes. ma am" stammered the waiter
Il was only thinking that il your fam
lily set at the table next to the dumb
waiter and shifted ard they'd get more
Of a meal''
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-01-20
Only q SYNONYM.

She was the wife Of wealthy busi-
ness man. and also the daughter OF a
policeman
As they grew rich. both she and her
husband strove to conceal this latter
fact as much as possible-for the sake
of their social prestige.
Now, at dinner, the conversation hap
pened to turn to the question Of arces-
try, and everybody began talking about
their families. with the exception Of our
friend. the policeman's daughter. who
was careful to maintain a discreet ST.
lence. But before long even she became
involved IN the discussion.
By the way. Mrs. D." asked one OF
the guests. what was your father
business"
Mrs. D. kept perfectly calm. oh"
she replied, my father was in the cop
per trade"
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-01-20
. . Tabloid Tales o o

What, Mother, is meant by woman's
intuition?
Hush. Child, you may be overheard;
it is only a nom de plume for sus-
picion.
Why, Mother, do you laugh at your
sex?
Because, My Child, they are so
foolish in their compliments. Thay
say of a woman who is a good house
keeper that she could get a meal In
the dark, and that one could eat off
her kitchen floor, yet the time never
was when a woman had to get a meal
in the dark or her guests ate off her
floor.
Does the word freedom" mean
anything to an American woman,
Mother?
No, Little One, II she has pain, kin
or company
What Mother, is negligee?
| am not quite sure, Child, but I
think it is some sort of a loose gar
ment women put on around the house
While they neglect things.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-01-20

Alphonse everything. What would
she do with this miserable 500 franc
bill? After all, she would get nothing
out of the whole thing if she gave
1t to charity without anybody know
ing anything about it.
Besides, it would not do Alphonse
any harm to hear what her kisses
were valued at by others. There were
times when he did not seem to ap-
preciate her as much as he ought He
was inclined to be a little philistine,
and this thought made her feel quite
uneasy. How was she to begin her
tale. Naturally she could not blurt
out: Il have sold a kiss to your friend
Leon"
She heard her husbands step in the
hall now. He was smiling as he en-
tered the room and kissed her as
usual. or course. he could not know
about the other kiss.
The Answer.
Leon has been here" he said.
Yes, how do you know?" she
gasped.
Why he telephoned from here"
He did,"
Yes, didn't you know. He gave
you 500 francs"
Did he telephone that"
Yes. am glad that you did not
hear what he telephoned. Leon is a
libertine."
What did he telephone them"
"Oh, something very funny. What
he had wanted the money for
What them"
Didn't he tell you then that half
an hour before he came to my office
to borrow 500 francs? He was in a
great hurry he said. He wanted a
favor from a beautiful woman, but
after all. he found he did not need it.
so he had his chauffeur stop here and
gave you back the 500 francs he Dor
rowed from me. What do you think
of that"
what an immoral fellow" Nine
Amelie exclaimed.
She felt crushed. She did not know
what to say TO such a mean trick, and
as in a dream she went back to get
the money.
"A real rascal" she mumbled to
hsrsslt
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-01-20

A STORY TO MAKE YOU LAUGH

why, certainly, when It was we'll
paid for and the money went to the
poor. Those aristocratic ladies do 1t
Of mere vanity"
Yes, you are quite right, Amelte.
they only want to be able to boast
OF the high price that men have paid
for their kisses. But for a kiss from
you here which no one would see, l
would''--
How much would you be willing
to pay?"
Anything you ask. Fix your own
price"
Five hundred francs"
Why, that would be cheap.
would have taken you at your word
had you said a thousand. | have not
that much money with me, Amelie,
but ] hurry away to get it, Alphonse
won't leave his Office for another
hour, while In half an hour | shall
be back for my kiss"
And before Nine. Poiset could
make any more objections, he was
gone.
Before she had time to invent a
way out OF TINS dilemma, Leon ram
bouret was back, waving a FIVE hun
dred franc bill in his hand
Here. Nine Amelie, are your I'VE
hundred francs"
Blushing and dreadfully embar-
raised she took the bill She was
all confused; the thing had happened
so quickly. and she wished she had
time to telephone her husband Leon,
however. did not allow her any time
for reflection, but took her into his
arms and kissed her passive, unre-
sisting lips. Then she tore herself
loose and ran out OF the room.
Her Dilemma.
But, Amelie, you certainly don't
refuse to let me say good-by to you p"
he cried after her.
She opened the door just enough to
give him her hand. which he covered
with kisses.
May | use your telephone before
go?" he asked
Yes, il is in my husbands study"
She closed the door and sat down
TO think Her blood was boiling and
she could almost hear her heart
beating. OF course she must tell
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-01-20
By NELL BRINKLEY

Copyright. 1914. International New. servies
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-01-20

ERE this little a
| | girl And
Brinkey-Oh, please on you
the time tell about blue
Don't like
hair even a little CURLs."
Course do l making so many
The pees girl
leaves My harust brown
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-01-20

II had her soft
the streets beautiful her
Brown hair is rich
the color of lovely
water of oespoo-the glossy jacket
hushing velvet
Brown the word Of wild
the brownhared maid
bownhared and dark velvey
with brown hair the time through
the Matilda
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-01-20

haired women?
Because, My Child, she once
dreamed she saw her husband max
ing love to one.
What, Mother is meant by unfair
advantage?
There are many meanings, Child,
but In my mind the real unfair ad-
vantage is to publish her age when
giving woman's obituary.
Does a woman, Mother, ever volun-
tarily state her age?
The only time, Little One, IL when
she wishes the statement of her add
ed years to give weight to her advice.
Why, Mother, is it so seldom a man
dares invite a guest to dinner?
Because, My Dear, he has to have
his wife's permission, and she has to
have the cooks.
What, Mother. is meant by 1.-The ad-
vantages of a large city,"
Taking less time, Little One, in get
ting on and off the street cars, and
being crowded worse when on them.
Are these all. Mother Mine?
One may also see more indecent
pictures at the art galleries than one
sees in a smaller town.
Are there any jokes, Neither Mine,
that are funny?
There are two varieties, My Child,
that are always good-those told by
the man you work f-r and those by
the man you love.
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-01-20
Muscle Food for the
Hard Toiler

The man who labors hard physi-
cally needs nutritious food. He needs
a concentrated food--a food that is
also easily digested. And the price of
the food must be cheap.
That doesn't mean that the hard
toiler needs a lot OF meat las many
wives think, for there are other
foods equally, II not more. nutri-
tious
Take Faust Spaghetti. for exam
pie. l0c package contains four
times more nutrition than meat-it is
rich in gluten--it is easily digested,
and you can make a whole big fam
iy meal with Toe package.
Try ii often Cook the spaghetti
for Is minutes or so with some red
ripe tomatoes. Serve with powdered
cheese and bread and butter Makes
bully good eating Send for recipe
book sc and 10c packages
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-01-20
. The Kiss
..DUT what do you take me for.
n Monsieur"

IIDUT what do you take me for.
- Monsieur"
II know. know you are
a saint, and that is just the reason
must kiss YOU"
How dare you say such a thing to
me-you. you. who pretend to be Il
friend of my husband"
but l don't see what that has to
do with this matter at all. dearest. DO
| perhaps rob my good friend, AL
phonse, of even a fraction of his
treasure because l touch your pretty
lips with mine? | don't intend to bite
you, Would you be the least bit less
oewitching and charming after my
Kiss than you were before"
You might as well stop now. 1t Is
an insult TO think that might be in
auenced by empty fiattery."
"Amelie!"
Il beg your pardon, sir. Madam
Amclie to you"
Other Examples.
DO not try TO escape from me.
Madam Amelie Poiset. We are Just
talking of the kiss you are going to
9ive me-"
is that perhaps the reason you
came here today"
1T is the most important reason,
anyway"
"Ridiculous"
Yes, ridiculous. indeed. More than
a hundred times l have touched your
hand with my lips, and then you re-
fuse to let me kiss your dear sweet
lips only once"
We'll, that is an entirely different
thing, as you very well know No
respectable wife permits anyone but
her husband to kiss her"
is that so?"
Yes. Monsieur"
And what about Countess Lanois
and Baroness Naideal and all the
other ladies who sold dozens OF kisses
at the Charity Bazaar the other day."
We'll, that is again different
thing. They sold heir kisses for
charity"
Would you perhaps sell a kiss,
too?-
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-01-20

beautiful
Beatrice must have had brown lockfor
lovely and curling From wood
history there have been lovely
Brilliant William Norris
color the maids
OF kysot brown hair Her Brdaone Though through
the
golden hair and black walked, " $500
OF like nd
to know just how
ask chap who In love with BRINKLEY
Atlanta Georgian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1912-1939, 1914-01-20
Up-to-Date
Jokes

The Rev. Father OLeary was of to
catch the Dublin express. On the way
to the station he ran into his bishop,
well, what's the hurry, OLeary?"
said he
Sure it's the Dublin express Tn
after, your lordship."
The bishop pulled out his gold
watch. We'll, there are seven min
utes yet; let us walk together and
both catch IT."
They arrived at the station just
time to see the train steaminF out.
do you know | had the greats
faith in that watch, O'Leary." said the
bishop.
All! my lord what is faith without
good works." replied the angry
OLeary.
An Irish soldier on sentry duty had
orders to allow no one TO smoke near
his post. An officer with a lighted
cigar approached, whereupon Pat
boldly challenged him, and ordered
him to put ii out at once. The Off
Ger, with a gesture of disgust, threw
away his cigar. but no sooner was
his back turned than Pat picked 1t up
and quietly retired to the sentry box.
The officer. happening to look around,
observed a beautiful cloud Of smoke
issuing from the box, He at once
challenged Pat for smoking on duty.
Smoking, Is It. sur? Bedad, and
I'm only keeping it IL 10 show 10 the
corporal when he comes, as evidence
Agin you!"
A rather mean man going out 70
play golf had failed TO come to terms
with the CSddie md started off car
rylng the clubs himself.
After watching , stroke or two. the
caddie resolved 70 get his own back.
Here, mister he said give me
the clubs. I'll carry them for nothing.
It's worth IL TO see you play"
New Foreman--What are We dom
there, Rafferty,?
Rafferty-Im oilin' the wheelbar-
row
New t'oreman-Well lave il alone.
I'll 90 y meself What do you know
about machinery
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-02-05

and Mr.. Wilson enjoys it's privileges
because his wishes in regard to extra
demonstration at his arrival, are al
ways considered, and he comes and
goes there with the simplicity that
marks all OF his movements.
A country club is of great conven-
fence to any man. for it enables him
to enjoy all Of the privileges Of a
great country estate at small cost
and without the trouble attendant
upon maintaining one. He can hunt
over fine property, ride, drive and en-
Joy the outdoor pleasures and sports
Of all seasons as freely as those indi-
viduals who own vast country seats.
From this viewpoint does the presi-
dent enjoy his membership in the
country clubs of the capital and at
Princeton or Cornish. They provide
the means for Indulgence of his favor
lite form of recreation and exercise.
This is a striking example of his gen.
eral attitude toward all clubs.
Before coming to Washington he