Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-05-03

W !: {: !. !. ::
CWS/N ~H dent Wilson and
q w j" ~ Secretary Of state
0kraNd BRYAN mot to mem
w M ton that paragon
Of ell IS i Y e ness,
h0 whose name is V.
HuertaJ. have suffered the deiusion that
there are entanglements,
But there aren't, No sir,
The Observer talked To about 1.noo
Sreeborn american citizens during the
past week. One of them is named Achil-
les Popudocus. and he runs a shoeshinins
establishment. Another was Eudmonia
Bruce. colored. who on occasion does light
cooking. Then there was Wong funs
who can commit more kinds of mayhem
on a linen collar than any chinaman
within the bounds of the new republic.
There were business men. too. and pro-
fcssional men. and men who are constant
j. on the lookout for Jobs 50 they can go
the other way when tho see them COM
ing They amounted to scores. to nun
drcdS. to thousands
Md of all these there was not one VINO
could not readily settle the Mexican situa-
ten within twentv-four hours We're he
b1;t given a free hand All they needed
Was a little Searoon.
They were one and All suhlimely conf
dent Ard most confident Of all was the
smilu., Wong Yuug who argued op:inis-
tically that heads should be chopped on
His point was that If Mexican IS de-
prived Of his head he ceases to take an
active interest in matters mundane
Why President Wilson doesn't use some
of this advice is one of those astounding
facts which remain facts. though lnes
are inexplicable No one whom the Cd
server met wanted TO charge the govern
luent anything for his services in setting
the Mexican question. He merely "annea
Ia help patrioticallv and disinterestedly
The whole thing started when the Oh
server left the editors office. after nsten-
ing for three mortal hours 10 the eulto,
views on the Mexican situation: The edi-
tors views were startling, parlaSzinS. IN
fact They seemed to be compounded OF
equal parts of the reports OF the Garnes!e
Peace Foundation and Marian tarlan
DESCRIPTION of seven ways 10 XII
chickens.
* 4
Peaceful occupancy argued the cd
,tor. upsetting a paste pot. is the only
solution of the problem. The use OF ma
rines is sanctioned by precedent. Now
take the case of Nicaragua
And then he took the case of Nicaragua
and gripped it by the neck and dragged
II around the room while it moaned plain
lively. He was looking around eagerly
for another precedent when the Observer
ned.
There is the case OF the Brazilian rev.
olution," whooped the editor. game TO
the last But the Observer reached the
outer door and disappeared.
Into little Iunchroom he went, a TIDY
blv FT
coffee and peace. The man who preSides
at the pastry counter is the grimmest
looking pirate that ever dug thumb
into a piece of apple pie But he has al
WAYS been noted for one supreme quail
fication: taciturnity that IS sphynNlike.
Cub" is his favorite vehicle of con-
versatiop .'Brruh'' runs it close sec
ond
rhe Observer approached the counter.
Coffee he said.
The sphynxlike one leaned over the
counter planting his elbow within hai1
an inch of sodden looking dish OF
prunes.
''wo; about Mexico" he asked huskiiy.
The Observer gawped.
"I-I-said coffee" he stammered.
But the pirate was not TO be side
tracked He gave his long, insanitary
mustache a vicious yank and fixed the
Observer with his beady eye. without
even making q move toWard ehe cohee
urn
DO YOU think" he inquired. that
they'll GIT Hoo-err-tuh?
Hoo" demanded the Observer.
-.fIoo-oo-err-tu replied the lunch
room pirate. deliberately. amt you
never heard OF him.
"Oh said the Observer, and passed
r.s Duck
What is your idea?" he asked
''lianS im. replied the pirate sue
cinctly. lie waved an arm in a southerly
direction. 'Aint We got troops down
there? Amt we got ma rines down there .
What's the matter with going over to
Mexico city and gettin' this Hoo-er-tuh
Teller and stringin' him up?"
i reminiscent look came into his eye.
u saw en- do it to a Greaser boss
rus,ler down in New Mexico in 81 he
added. an II was as simple as any
thing.
But" said the Observer gently, do
not the minor objections occur to you :?
Nexico City is 200 miles from the coast
on straight line. Then there are the
possibilities OF international complica-
tons. Other nations might feel hur, il
we hung the provisional president of a
sister republic.
The pirate merely grunted loud srunt
I'VE don't recognize him, do wee' he
asked.
we do not"
Well" said the pirate We should
worry.
That, to his simple mind was the ne
plus ultra OF diplomacy
The Observer hoping that ne might get
his coffee sooner by so doing, pointed out
that ii was not customary in these days
- tt V3ntl