davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
Most Any Time.
The scene is set.

The scene is set.
A country road, trees, sky, summer
homes. a lake in the distance. A steam
railway line crosses the road at RICH,
angles.
Enter. up the road. an automobile
well loaded and running at high speed
Enter. at the far right. an express
train.
Both automobile and train are rush
toward the crossing.
Owner OF automobile. TO chauffeur:
~Can you make it?"
Tho chauffeur. speeding up: sure
] can make,"
He doesn't.-Cleyeland Plain Dealer
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23

A little boy OF five was invited 10 a
children's party. Tho next day he was
giving an account Of the fun. and said
that each OF the little visitors had con.
tributed either song. recitation. or
music for the pleasure OF the rest
"Oh. poor iittle Jack" said his
mother. How very unfortunate you
could do nothing"
Yes. could. mother" replied the
young hopeful Il stood up and said
my prayers."
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
In After ye,,x.

For three long. weary years they
had been up against the matrimonial
game.
Together they were meandering
down the street. when the wife paused
In front OF jewelers. window.
DO you remember. dear she said
how We used 10 stop here and look 81
the wedding rings-one OF which Am
wearing now"
All. yes." rejo'ned the husband. re.
fectiyely. Those were happy days"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
Nj. pI,posItIon.

During concert tour OF the late
Theodore Thomas and his celebrated
orchestra, one OF the musicians died
and the following telegram was imme
diately dispatched to tho parents Of
the deceased:
John Blank died suddenly today
Advise by wire as TO disposition"
In a few hours the answer was re-
ceIved, reading as follows:
I'VE are broken.hearted his DISPOSE
ton was a rowing one"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
Poor woman's Gift.

A poor blind woman In Paris. we are
told, put "a francs into plate at q
missionary meeting.
You cannot afford so mueh." said
one
Yes. sir. can" she answered.
On being pressed to explain, she
said: Il am blind. and said to my
fellow straw-workers, How much mon.
ey do you spend In a year for oil in
your lamps when II Is too dark 10
work nighfs?' They replied, About
twenty-seven francs
SO" said the poor woman. Il found
that could save so much In the year
because l am blind and do not need a
lamp. and give IT to shed light 10 the
dark heather lands"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
Iosenh,s proaram.

The mistress Of the house is a cul
tivated Bostonian Of much musical
taste, and the whistling Of the foot
man, who believed himself alone in
the house, fretted her artistic soul
Joseph she called at last from the
head of the back stairs, please don't
whistle those vulgar ragtime things
Yves. men," returned Joseph meek
". Il know. men," he continued with
unexpected spirit, but you can't ex
pect rhapsody of List with cleaning
the knives. That viii cosne later
when I'm polishing the silver Bur
lington Free Press
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
wise Iohnnle

Little Johnnie had been naughty all
day. At last, to cap the climax. he
slapped his small sister.
When father came homo from the
Office the mother told him OF his sons
misdeeds.
THE next time you tease your sis
ter you SO TO bed without dinner" the
father said sternly.
The klddie sat In silence for few
moments. Then all Of a sudden he
turned to his father.
THE next time want to hit sister
I'll wait till after dinner" he remarked.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
Left Daddy Thinking.

Little GirI-Papa. didn't you whip
mo once for biting Tommy?
Father-Yes. my child. and you hurt
him very much.
Little Girl-Well. then. papa you
ought to whip sisters music teacher.
too. for he bit sister yesterday after
non. right on the mouth. and know
II hurt her because she put her arms
around his neck and tiled to choke
him.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
old Adam.

Little Henry, like many other little
boys. was very fond OF playing at be
ing railway train. He liked 10 pre-
tend to be the engine and TO dash
around the house with great noise
OF putting and footing.
The other day the stork brought
Henry sister.
He was taken in to see. tho baby
and regarded her for a time with an
expression OF grave curiosity. Then
his face lighted up.
Now" said he, shall have some
body to be the tender. anyhow New
York Evening Post.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
Useful AZ Last.

Mable-Mother. may have your
old merry widow hat?
Mother--What In the world do you
want with It?
Mable--Nartin and l are playing
scouts and we want to make tent.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
rheIr Natural Affinity,

what do you think OF this move
ment to encourage women to take up
farm work."
We'll women always we're attracted
TO husbandry"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
A Mean Trick.

"what are you punching your BROTH
or for?"
HE went and used the clean place
! had picked out on the roller towel
It was the only one left, too?"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
Quite a pet.

my wife is making herself ridi-
culous over that dog OF hers"
How now?"
Now she has TO take It to see the
moving pictures"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
NothIna on Her.

Margery and Helen lived quite near
each other and occasionally played to
gethe, Gre dag, when they met,
Helen saId boastfni.y:
We keep butler
Margery remained thoughtful for a
moment, then suddenly cried. exult'
ingly:
That's nothing. We keep board
ersi"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
Which is Different.

He says he is always outspoken In
his wife's presence"
HE means outtalked."
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
Housework is a Burden

Deans Kidney PiIls--nothing to injurs
nor cause a habit. Delicate women
can use them with perfect safety.
The following case IL typical OF the eures
effected By Dcan's Kidney Pulls Grateful
Testimony ia the best evidence
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23

sOld Scadds seems entirely upset by
the failure Of the.bank?'
mo wonder-he lost his balance"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
someshlna Liant.

II want book"
Here's nice novel"
"Oh. that 10 one OF those terrible
crime stories. You need smelling
salts with book Of that sort. Give
me something 10 20 with Il box of bon
bons"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23

Stubborn Throat troubles are easily re-
heved by Deans Mentholatcd Cough Drops.
They act like usagic--5c at all Druggists.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23

Relieve Teverishness, Bad Stomach. Teething
Disorders, move and regulate the Bowels and
are a pleasant remedy for Worms. Used By
Mothers for "a years. They arc Sc pleassnt 70
take, children like them. The, neorz fail. At
all Druggists, 25c- Sample FREE Address,
A. 8. oimstea, lie Roy, N. y. ADV.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23

The population Of British colonies in
ell parts OF the world win total at 4o0,-
100000.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23

The woman who thinks her husband
tells her everything he knows is en-
titled to another think.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
When the Battle Began.

Wife with masazine)--laere's an
article on How to avoid War"
Hub-Whaf does It say--remain sim
gle?
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
The Reason.

7 don't understand electricity.
can't seem to gA It into my head.
Well, you know bone 10 not con
ductor
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23

Mrs. Winsiow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums. reduces inhamma-
ton, allays pain wind collie ,25c bottle-s
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23

Jokes are only funny when they
don't hurt
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-23
Important 10 Mofhers

Examine carefully every bottle Of
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1914-07-16
pleasure, the SAME opportunity for

education.
eff this accused man is guilty of
the crime with which he is charged,
whose is the real moral. responsible
ity? Isn't it ours that we have re-
fused to consider him our brother,
have shut him out of our gates, have
denied him our privileges, have let
him work out, hampered by the re-
strictions we have placed upon him,
what poor destiny he may? Why,
you know it is a fact that when the
negro, despite our restrictions, has
made a success of his life, we refuse
to let him live in the same neighbor-
hood with U.S." = -..,r
And it was then that the other
brilliant woman, Mrs. Ida Wells Bar
nett, who has done so much toward
advancing her own race, spoke to me,
bitterly.
when we moved into the neigh
borhood where we now reside, Miss
Whitaker, the newspapers were full
Of the protests of the whites against
our living there, and some day / in
tend to writesa book of the persecu-
ton of the whites toward my chill
dren. 1t has taught me not contempt
for the superior white race but in
finite pity that their boosted civiliza-
ton that goes back so many thou
sand years has not carried them any
farther forward than this racial
hatred.
They were the most bitter arraign-
ments of our civilization have heard,
and they touched only our saVagery
in the hatred of, one race, the ne
groes-they did not cover what we
know to be a fact, that racial hatred
extends much farther than this-that
the Russians feel it toward the Jews
and the Jews toward the Russians,
that the Chinese feel it toward us and
we toward the Chinese, and so on |
through many instances.
And vet we worship the memory
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1914-07-16
WARNING Needed

5 >. WARNING FiEEDED
The Egotist-Yeu mustn't believe
everything you hear about me.
The Gir-Of course not. l never
hear anything about you but what
You tell me. -
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31

No more enthusiastic workers for
civic betterment may be found than
the junior classes which are to be
found throughout the country. In
Belle Fourche. s. d.. the advertising
Of the city Is managed entirely by 9
junior club The ages OF the members
range from fourteen to twenty-one. the
club at present having membership
Of 75. Under the Junior clubs direo-
ton thousands Of feet Of motion pic.
ture films have been taken OF the city
and surrounding country and exhibit.
ed in nearby cities. There is q com
mittee to induce conventions TO meet
In Belle Fouche and another for en-
tertaining visitors. No visiting auto.
mobile leaves the city without Belle
Fouche pennant Strangers are met
at the railroad station or on their ar
rival at the hotels and presented with
club room visiting cards The spirit
ed publicity campaign 10 an important
factor In the city's growth.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31
TIME OF LITTLE MOMENT
Disregard of Promptness In China 10
Seen by DR.. WI as a Ma
tIonal Fault

IF you make an appointment with
an American you will find him In his
office at the appointed time." writes
DR.. WI Tingfang In America Through
the Spectacles of an Oriental Diplo-
mat" Everything to be done by him
during the course of the day has Its
fixed hour, and hence he is able to do
greater amount OF work than many
others. Chinese, unfortunately, have
no adequate ideas of the value OF
time. This is due. perhaps, TO our
mode of reckoning. In the West q
day is divided into "a hours. and each
hour into so minutes, but in China It
has been the custom for centuries to
divide day and night into IL (shih)
periods, each period consisting OF two
hours, so that an appointment Is not
made for particular minute, as In
America, but for one or other Of these
two-hour periods. This has created
ingrained habits of unpunctuality
which the advent of clocks and
watches and contact with foreigners is
slow to remove.
The time-keeping railway is. how
ever, working q revolution, especially
In places where there Is only one train
day, and a man who misses thst has
to wait for the morrow before he can
resume his journey. Some years ago
luncheon-'tiffin' we call 1t In China
was given at restaurant In Picking
by a couple of friends in my honor;
the hour was fixed at noon sharp. I
arrived In time and found that not
only were none of the guests there,
but that even the hosts had not ar
rived. AS had several engagements
could not wait, so | ordered a few
dishes and ate what required. Still
none Of the hosts had made their ap
pearance. SO left with request to
the waiter that he would convey my
thanks.
Knowing the unpunctuality OF our
people the conveners of public meet
ing will often tell the Chinese IL viii
begin an hour or two before the set
time, whereas foreigners are notified
of the exact hour. Not being aware
of this device once attended a public
meeting at the appointed time only to
find that | had TO wait for over an
hour. / protested that should in flu.
ture be treated as foreigner In this
regard"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31

wish you would. sir: we'd like to
close the account"
Coming out of the telephone booth,
Mr.. Thomas continued to talk with the
baker.
Now, look here. Grove. am con-
vinced you are not dead. We never
said you were dead, and we don't want
you to die. Jones & Small misunder-
stood our reporter"
That's no good" broke in Grove.
You must apologize in the papers, or
I'll sue you, and there'll be a whole lot
Of trouble"
He rose from the chair In his ex-
element.
Il don't think So" replied the man
ager, as he touched concealed but
ton on his desk, which Immediately
brought the chief clerk to the door.
Picket. we've had complaints about
Grove being slow in meeting bis obli-
cations. haven't me?"
"Yes. sir. I've just looked through
the Red Book. and find"
Don't go. Mr.. Grove" said the man
ager. as his visitor edged toward the
door. "Of course, you would hardly
expect us to know all these little
things, but. my dear man. our work
has many sides to 1t. What did you
find, Pickett"
so far as we know he owes to To-
cal houses nearly thirteen hundred dol
lars, and there is seven hundred and
eighty dollars OF that which Is over
due" answered the clerk.
rs that right, Grower" queried Mr..
Thomas. y
Blast you people. anyway" replied
the baker. You fellows know too
much"
Careful, friend. Don't talk like
that. or maybe there win be other
items In the newspapers besides re-
fractions OF false deaths. What are
you going to do about settling this In
debtedness?"
Nothing! You bet your neck
nothingl I'll do nothingi"
Tut. tut mani That's no way to
talk. Let me give you little advice.
Go and pay Jones & Small this after
noon. You owe them about five hum
bred dollars.
Il have told them that you would
settle the past due amount. II you
fail to do SO tomorrow mornings pa
pers will include among the court
news an item affecting certain Mr..
Grove. a baker. Now. don't disap-
point me. Remember"
The two men stood looking each
other straight In the eye for mo-
ment.
Good day. Grove. Go and show
your creditors that you are not a
dead one. Pay up, and be man."
The manager offered hts hand. which
the other hesitatingly took.
The interview was over.
The baker. whose entrance had been
somewhat lionlike, left the Office as
a lamb, and dumb one at that.
(copyright)
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31
a Fish story.

Tho inns OF dear old England are
picturesque said Richard lie Gal
Iienne. on his return from abroad. hut
thu food they serve IL something ter
bible.
After a visit to Blenheim palace
entered an Inn IN the quaint village Of
Woodstock. AZ unched-or tried TO
innch--rny landlord said 10 me:
THE great dock Of Marlborough
once sat In that chair you're n settin'
IN. air.
Is that so7' nAid l.
And the dock once drunk IL beer
out o. that same mug you're a-drinkin'
out Of
And bet said |. I bet he refused
10 eat this nah. too. Well. take II away.
my man don't want II. either"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31

Bishop Evans Tyree AZ dinner In
Nashville was asked II he haa any
idea OF preaching on the new fashions
---the backless evening gown. slaahsd
skirt and 30 forth
NO." said the bishop; such an Idea
has not occurred to me. II, however,
should preach on the new fashions I
would assuredly choose my teri from
Revelation"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31

American moralists on the false
pride OF denominationalism have never
had need to go to Kikiyu for text. A
plain one is revealed In the John r.
Slater educational funds examination
OF schurch schools for negroes In the
South. In the cities and towns Of IL
states 1t reports so cases of the fla
grant duplication OF effort by denomi-
national schools
The tactful administrators OF the fund
appeal to sense of UNCONVENTIONAL
expediency One cooperative school.
founded on that at present strongest,
should generally suffice. Each church
might put the money saved into some
strong, central college or Industrial in
stitute.
or If no one church school might
be left with the work, especially in
primary education, might not all With
draw TO advantage and cooperate
with the public school authorities In
providing better facllities?" No one
thinks money for negro education can
be made to go too far; and the
churches could recite with more fervor
the immense need for contributions II
their own failure to cooperate we're
not In part responsible for it, Edito-
rial In the New York Post
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31
AFRO-AMER|CAN CUL[|NCS

Negro farmers own or control $780,
900 acres OF land In the state of Ala
bama, or $4,000 more acres than they
controlled In 1900. the New York
Times states. The colored farmers
OF the state have under their control
3.563,0 acres of improved land. ard
are farming 100000 more acres OF inn
proved land than they were cultivating
In 1900. In ten years the number OF
Negro farmers increased lib per cent.
and now they own or control one
fourth OF al the farm property In Ala
bama, having an aggregate value OF
$97,370, 900. or 1915 per cent more
farm property than they controlled al
the beginning OF the ten-year period.
The progress OF the negroes In Ala
bama Is typical OF what the negroes
are doing In other states. With In
colored population OF sos, 2s2. the third
greatest negro population in the Uni
ted States. Alabama affords striking
illustration Of what the race has &C
complished.
The first negro bank In the United
States was established In Alabama. In
the Tuskegee Normal and Industrial
institute, of which Booker T. Wash
ington is head. II possesses the leading
negro educational institution OF the
world Now Alabama has the first
railroad in America TO be conceived,
promoted. built and operated by negro
people. namely. the Dixie line. rum
ming from Kowalaga Community, cob
ored. fifteen miles to Alexander City.
in the eastern part OF the state, whore
1t connects with the Central of Georgia
railroad.
In agriculture. however. they are
making the most progress. Fifty per
cent OF all the persons In the state en-
gagged in agriculture are negroes. On
the other hand. IS per cent OF all the
negroes In the state are engaged In
farming. There are l1o.4zo colored
men operating farms.
The banking business is another line
in which the negroes OF the state
are making progress. There are five
banks In Alabama operated by me-
groes, the Alabama Penny Savings
bank and the Prudential Savings bank
OF Birmingham, the Penny Savings
bank OF Selma, the Penny Savings
bank OF Admission and the Penny Saw
ings bank OF Montgomery. A remark
able increase Is shown during the ten
years In the number OF negroes who
have established successful grocery
stores. drug stores, real estate Offices
and other enterprises. In practically
every city in the state where there are
large numbers OF colored people they
have acquired the ownership OF entire
city blocks.
The negro church has kept pace
with the progress OF the negro In ag-
riculture. commerce and education. In
every city In Alabama where there Is
large community Of negroes they
have built churches costing $4,000 to
$4,000. The value OF the church prop
erty owned By coIored people OF the
state amounts In all denominations to
100000 Thus with the physical
progress of the negro churches OF Ala
bama has come intellectual and moral
advancement.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31

she-Ananias had one thing on
Adam.
He-What was that?
She When he was caught, he did
not say 1t was all Sapphira's fault.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31

Mrs. ]. Murch Of New York has the
distinction of being the only woman in
America who is proprietor printer,
composition, binder and printers
devil all IN one. She owns printing
establishment In New York City where
she attends to all the details of the
shop herself.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31

Western Australia produces more
gold than any American state. sends
more pearls to Europe than any other
country except Ceylon. and Is said to
have the richest belt OF hardwood tim
Der 10 the world.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31

For doctors use in examining tho
throat a new pocket electric search.
light IL equipped with mirror for
throwing the rays just where needed
and WITH folding wire guard for bold.
Ing the tongue down.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31

A street car runs twice az fast when
you are trying ia catch II a. II does
after you have caught IL.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31

Don't follow your inclinafions IN
less you know where they're leading
you.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31

~ you AHE LOOKING ron AN EASY
seller with repeat orders. eel eur ATTRACTIVE
proposiffon DAVIS tFEAnMfNT rEfsfN
GUM Nigh grade Hoot1g Frii tox sample zee.
Aflanfie Chewing Cana Co. naifisssr~. Ma
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31

= called. Mrs. Jims. to take my
congo
Well. you WON'T get Il, for we
never had nothing like that Of yours
here
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31

/ Mrs. Flora Groden, wife and mother
OF FIVE children. who found time to
study Jaw as an aid TO her charitable
work and who receives her LII. B.
degree from the New York University
law school. is one of six women to re-
ceive a certificate of character from
the Brooklyn bar association.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31

To solve the problem Of disposins
of the dead famous German archi-
tect proposes to erect In the chief
cities immense pyramids, each of
which win hold the ashes of 1000, 900
cremated bodies.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-07-31

1t sometimes happens that woman
marries man to reform him--if she
is unable to get man who doesn't
need reforming.