The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-03-28

Oencanine bait.

Concerning Bait-
'AThe humble CATFISH" observed
Hondo Murphy, as he kicked q catalog
Of tobacco tag premiums of the desk
to make room for his feet. III consid-
cred. by scientists and . few other
nuts to be . vertebrate Of tho lowest
order Of intelligence. but who ever
heard of = fisherman pastfng . trad
ing stamp on an angleworm an an
added inducement to a mud cat? No
one! When dealing with . catfish.
the object il to induce said catfish to
fall for something offered him. But
the fisherman merely offers = little
better quality OF bare worm-adver-
Using his wares the while by gently
Juggling the goods before the fish to
attract his attention. Il is the adver-
ti~ing and the quality of the goods
that induces the catfish to invest in
what tho angler has to offer.
Down New Orleans-way. there was
q custom. many years ago. known a.
lagniappe.' That's French slang
was 30 common that a storekeeper
who sold nickel package OF prunes
had to throw in q handful OF peanuts,
la!sins or something Of the sort. or
ether store. The merchants didn't
lose anything by it-not by blamed
sight. but the customer did. He was
not only charged enough for his legiti-
mate purchase to cover the 1agn-
trouble OF handling and the mer-
chants private opinion of the GUS
toner. But the merchant wouldn't
have offered .Iagniappe' to a Missis-
siIpi river catfish.
who still fall for the bait that would
drive the catfish to some other mud
hole. Frfnstance, Mrs. Zebulop M.
Hassenpffer, q prominent society ma
Zeb. Hassenpffer, deceased. Mr.. Has
senpffer was late at his office two
mornings In succession, and told Mrs.
Hassenpffer to add an alarm clock to
the home circle. Unlucky day! While
frisking the busy marts for q morning
RATHER, she fell upon catalog of trad
ing stamp premiums; on page three
was q picture of an alarm clock with
no guarantee. but string of perfectly
lovely doo-dads around the edge. And
al! the charitable owners of that clock
required of any one who wished to
edopt it. was 2.345 stamps-of a GER
tain color and description. 1t was a
pip Of a chance to get an alarm clock
for Absolutely Nothing, and Mrs. Has
Eenpffer fell with a dull. sQuashy
sound.
That night Hassenpffer called for
mis- clock-just like that. The Missus
assured him that she would get it at
the earliest opportunity She had put
stamps. and the delivery wagon had
un1oaded three cords Of assorted junk
ut her door, but she had but $40
stamps. The next day she bought an
duplicates of her previous purchases
and gross Of nutmeg graters. Next
day she had nervous heebe-5eebes, and
couldn't get down town. but collected
peck Of hatpins and four pairs Of
rubber boots by telephone. Hassen-
going to work late, and she kept stav-
ing him off. He couldn't seem to
make the purchase himself. because
he got such q late start in the morn
no got home after making up lost time
at night. At the end OF a week he
demanded a showdown. and called for
a peek at the wffe's cards. Her hour
Of triumph had arrived! With frab-
jcus joy and trembling fingers she un-
wrapped the prize. meanwhile giving
him an ear full OF the details. The
last covering fell from the timepiece;
there was a moments deathly silence
End the good dame squeaked: IT'S
S-B-BUSTED!
"Hassenpffer had been doing some
mental arithmetic. so AM T. he
yelped IN tones Of anguish, and then
took the count-heart trouble. Maybe
Sne can &et enough out OF MS 1nSuf-
ance to pay the overdraft on his bank.
But there is no case on record
where a catfish ever did anything like
that"
II our gentle Burgomaster fulfills
his threat, the only pool played in
these parts will be COW pasture pool,
and that costs more than five cents a
cue.
Senator Weeks plan to put the
navy into passenger traffic. may
2eeve some of the naval officers. They
might disapprove the idea of turning
their private yachts into ferry boats.
They left Jump" Williams with an
outside job, and then seemed sur
prised that he jumped it. Some Of
ficers are SO unreasonable.
This may not be the season for lay
ing up riches, but it Is the chosen time
for acquiring a fine collection OF pre-
scriptions for spring tonic.
Globe Sights
III ny THE ATCHIaON QI08m II