The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-05
SPRAYS FROM THE soUIRT-cUN

So"ks Oycs Oyc odte.
SPRAYS FROM THE soUIRT-cUN
Not yet but soon, oh We H. S. Med
Nine times out of ten when a person gets
balled up he gets bawled out afterwarsd.
California scientists seem to have succeed
ed in extinguishing that volcano-or the
reporters.
We have an uncle that was born on Ash
Wednesday, a cousin born on Good FRIDAY
and we were born on Nut Sunday.
The aeroplane scout is a mighty useful
person; nevertheless we'd rather be pretty
army nurse. En-, Baron1
No one is laying around in 'he bushes
waiting to foot your horn for you. If you
have any footing to do, get busy.
ULcle Sam Socks, red. white and blue,
would make quite a hit in the fads and
fancIes dept. Bet they d sell like bottled
beer at prohibition picnic.
A comment in one of the state weeklies
reads to the effect that the politicians will
hire fewer stump speakers this year. Evil
IDENTIFY they want to reduce their gas bills.
Ho, no, fellows! The Book-worm is
among US and we sincerely hope to peruse
some of his excellent pen sketches in the
co umns of the "Family Organ Get
busy ye scribe.
We are indeed sorry that MIR. u. has de-
serted class &C. in the Chautauqua Circle.
Well, Uncle John and ye humble servan,
will try and up hold the dignity of the
class.
Some people contend that since George
Washington and John Brown were Law
breakers, all of US lesser lights should be
anarchists. The argument is undoubtedly
sound, but we fear nothing more than 9
sound.
REAL THOUGHTS
A certain geek says he'd rather be righ
than president. Ned rather he would too
Tie ladies could save the men much
annoyance by doing all the house renova.
ting during their absence. Ell, boys?
If yer ever gi. outer this yer place and
wanter 60 inter polytichs, yer wanter hex
yersif equipped with er pairo mud guards
There is nothing like the tranquil mar
ried life of couple after both the husband
and wife have found atfinities.
One would conclude that the NJ. S. P
Just reeks with oPtlmtsts after listening to
all of the oh-be-joyful talk on Saturday
afternoons.
The statement that the two Irish factions
are united should be accepted with gralu
Of sodium chloride. The Kilkenny cats
were united also, but.
If the alledged American who originated
the custom or paradlng a tabulated list OF
accidents supposed to happen on the Ma
llon's birthday, really has in mind any
thing more than the encouragement OF
patriotism, let him prove it by extending
his list to include the water wagon wounds
and pIum-pudding prostrations of the holt
days.
One of the awful brutalltes of modern
warfare is the act of compelling the help
lie musicians of der Kaiser, whose musical
sense is proverblal, to lie in the trenches for
hours listening to that Tipperary song.
OBSERVATIONS
Obey that impulse and well all be thank
full, providing the ''good smokes follow
In its wake
British agents are buying up all the
the horses in the country. This will be
sufficient excuse for boosting the price of
soap.
The fashion shows gives folks the chance
to put on their other clothes. stand before
the store windows, and imagine they look
like the models displayed there. 1t takes
lots of nerve to be fashionable.
During the season the Green Sox have
played Is games, winning 10, which gives
them a percentage of .6611. They have
played games with outside teams winning
from lie Sueur and the Cellar Colts, one
game each, giving them a percentage
against outside teams of 1856.