The Washington times., 1914-02-11
THE JOCOSE MR.. BAR
BOUR.


bour, who has filed brief with the
Interstate Commerce Commission for
the Washington-Virginia Railway
Company in case involving that
comp&ny's Communication rates be-
tween Washington and Virginia
suburban points.
Mr.. Barbour's ears may be of the
standard length; but his literary
product has the marks of an aSininity
which establishes a strong presump-
ton that he possesses the longest
pair in these parts. If his ears don't
interfere with the headgcar through
which he conducts his conversation,
then indeed he has developed a new
fashion in hats.
Let it pc kept in mind that Mr..
Barbour is speaking for the Wash
ington-Virginia Company, one of the
links in that mysterious chain of in
terlocking corporations that has late
ly undertaken to monopolize the pub
lie service facilities of this vicinage,
and incidentally to expand their Sc
curities to a hundred millions or
tEereabouts. Nobody with a notion
that Washington would stand for
that, could possibly entertain a very
flattering opinion of the community's
intellectual quality. Mr.. Barbour
plainly doesn't.
Residents along the line of this
suburban railroad which Barbour
represents, have made petition for
some readjustment of rates. Bar
bour, replying, attacks the petition
ers and in general the people Of
Washington and vicinity. He inter-
jects sample of what apparently is
intended to be regarded as humor,
from which we quote:
TT is more than it would he wise to
expect, or even wish for, that COM
0uters made up as a body Of Washing
ton commuters are of men of more
than the usual intelligence and acumen,
ample time to contemplate the benefits
OF the general uplift,' including re-
duced car rates, and who are at the
same time civil service graduates, in
cipient or full-fedged attorneys and eX-
pert statisttcians, living at the very
portals of this commission. will ever
cease to complain of commutation rates
as well as all other ills to which weak
flesh Is at present heir: and to hope and
strive and pray to this commission to
ha ~ hot hoI
when We may all be permitted to ride
to our homes at the same hour, on the
same car with an entire seat to each
passenger, and no fare to pay, and run
opportunity to 'cuss' out the service Of
the public service corporations, with the
ultimate hope Of being awarded a pen
sion therefor, but it is very confidential
ly submitted that in this case the COM
plainants have entirely failed to Jus
tify their complaint, and that therefore
it should be dismissed"
If possible; the turgidity of Mr..
Barbour's medium is exceeded by the
asininity of his sentiment. If he
were capable to saying, in under
standable, grammatical English, any,
thing so unkind as seems to be surg
ing in his little insides, he would be
real cutting. Mr.. Barbour has, we
firmly believe, perpetrated here the
longest sentence in the world. Per-
chance there may be others as long;
but even so, we insist that there can
be none other of equal length which
is at the same time so deformed in
physique and so unattractive in sen
timent. Let us adjuTe Mr. Barbour
whatever else he may do, not to be
funny again. Nothing corld be sad
der than Barbour, funny.
AS matter of simple fact, this IL
sultiug display of coarseness and ig-
ncrance aptly illustrates the real
sentiment which is entertained to-
ward the Washington public by our
exploiters. 1t may not have been tact
full for Mr.. Barbour to reveal inner
feelings quite so frankly, but it is
mighty illuminating.
So long as the people of Washing
ton permit the eXtortions and ex-
cesses now practiced by public utility
concerns, why should they expect
even so pathetically ignorant and il
literatc a person as this Barbour to
entertain a better opinion of them
than he does? They must learn how
to respect themselves, before they
can presume that their exploiters
will begin to respect them.
The Interstate Commerce Commits
sion ought to throw the Barbour
pleading out of It's files on general
principles. An occasional rebuke to
this spirit manifested in the Barbour
impertinence would be altogether
good and useful.