The Alaska citizen., 1914-08-24
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TALES WORTH RETELLlNG.
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| . Al6S "OR K RE ElllNG. = . ; ; (. (, (, (, (, . . q . . . .
 A mother took her small daughter to have her picture made. The little l girl refused to sit still. Wiggled around and was naughty in general. | The photographer told the mother to leave the room as he thought that by that means he could get the little darling" to sit still. The mother left and in a few minutes was shown a copy of good picture,
 After the mother and child left i the place, the mother asked What did the nice gentleman say to moth CTS little darling to make her sit so stil?' And this was the reply l He thed. You thiht thtill. you ] little devil or I will knock the thtuf- fin out of you, and, mamma, thit thtill, oo."-Ex.
 Mrs. Cook had a new servant. and after the first cake she baked. the mistress went to the kitchen. Della" said Mrs. Cook your cake was very good, but there was not enough nuts in it. When you make another, please remember like plenty of nuts in the cake"
 Well, num-" replied the girl, the reason l didn't but more in was because l couldn't crack any more today Indeed, mum. an my jaw hurts yet from them did crack. "- | Lippincott's.
 What do you suffragettes want, anyhow"
 We want to sweep the country dad"
 Well. don't despise small begin nings. Suppose you make start with the dining room. my dear?"- Tradesmen's Journal.
 Said careless young lady named
 Anna,
 When she stepped on an empty
 banana,
 Now, what do you see
 That you stare so at me?' And the bystanders cried, "Hosanna'
 Scenic Lines Magazine.
 Two lriShmen Were working on the roof of a building one day when one made misstep and fell to the ground; the other leaned over and called:
 Are ye dead or alive. Mike?"
 I'm alive" said Mike, feebly.
 Sure, yer such liar l don't know whether to believe ye or not"
 Well, then I must be dead" said Mike. for ye would never dare to call me a liar if I were alive."- i Selected.
 Two men got into fight in front of the bank today" said merchant at the family tea table, and l tell you it looked pretty nasty for one of them The bigger one seized huge stick and brandished it. l felt that he was going to knock the others brains out, and l jumped in between them"
 The family had listened with rapt attention and as the head paused in his narrative the young heir. whose respect for his fathers bray cry is immeasurable, proudly remark ed:
 He couldn't knock any brains out of you, could he, father?"-EX.
 "There." said Hooligan. There, Mister Mooligan, see that wondther- i full tunnel, an here comes the train, Watch now an let the wind whistle through your Whiskers. Begorra, i but 'tis a soight to make man there, look at that now,"
 The train whizzed past them and was swallowed up In the darkness of the tunnel.
 An what, Mister Mooligan,' said 1 Mir. Hooligan, what do you think of that now" "-Ex.
 You know, Miss Blank" said the proprietor of railroad station res taurant, there is a great deal in having your sandwiches look at tractive."
 Yes. sir, I know It." replied the girl; T have done everything could. have dusted those sand wicEes every morning for the last ten days.' .''-Railroad Wire and Sig nal
 One day an electric care was de- railed on the main street, the con- ductor went to nearby office and telephoned for the work gang. When he returned to the scene of the ac- cident he saw that the passengers were on one side of the track with the exception of one lady. who seem- ed to be afraid to cross the rails. When the conductor drew near she asked, in timid voice: Would get shock If I put my foot on that rail?" pointing to the nearest one.
 No, madam" answered the con ductor, politely. Not unless you put your other foot on the trolley wire"-EX.
 | ANDERSON BROS. & NERLAND are closing out everything at lowest 1 prices. Buy now while we have a