davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31
MUFFLED KNOCKS.

II doesn't take the man who knows II
all long to tell all he knows.
A silent man may not be wise man.
but the world always gives him the tene-
fit OF the doubt.
The fellow who believes that II Is never
too late to mend is slwayE in need Of re-
pairs.
This would be a fine world II people
would lend more assistance and give less
advice.
There amt no such animal az q hus-
band who is as perfect as his wife ex-
poets him to be.
A hen-pecked mans way of asserting
his independence is to slam the door hard
when he leaves the house.
Every now and then nature goes on a
bat and turns out pretty man who
should be wearing skirts instead of pants.
A wife is a person who asks a husband
IL he doesn't think some other woman is
pretty so he will say yes and give her a
chance'to ball him out.
The sort OF man who is so careful that
he saves the match stubs for kindling Is
usually the same fellow who keeps the
get-rich-quick firms busy.
There was a time when a woman
wouldn't go out until her skirt had the
right hang" But nowadays the slop-
pier the skirt looks the more stylish 1t is.
The old-fashioned boy who used to be-
lieve that his father could lick any man
in the world now has son who believes
he could lick the old man himself II he
wanted to.
When the woman next door has better
clothes than the other woman. the other
woman always claims that she could
have good clothes too IL she went without
enough to eat and put everything on her
back
The fool men are wearing wrist watches
corset hose supporters, ribbons, rouge and
tucked silk shirt waists. But we won't
give up all hope for them until they be-
gin to sit ON the floor to put on theiI
shoes and socks-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31
Where Appearances Count,

II is an old. old saying and true, that
clothes do not make the man" The adage
loses some OF its force. though, in this day
when personal appearances count so much I'm
the mans making likewiae the woman's.
Employment heads OF several large Chicago
mercantile houses, together with experts from
the Women's Trade Union. In conference agree
that young women OF good dispositions, average
attraetiyeness. without slit skirts or low-cut
necks, or flat curls gummed down on the side
OF their faces, have little difficulty in securing
good employment, while those OF the opposite
sort meet many obstacles. According TO one
employer. the chief problem is the middle-aged
woman growing careless OF her appearance.
Go TO the public schools and pick out the
teachers who attrset by neatness Of appearance
and see II they are not as rule successful and
popular with parents as well as school authori-
ties, TO say nothing OF pupils We may count
ourselves fortunate that we live in a time when
proper value is placed upon personal appear
anee. OF course this may lead TO some over.
doing It. but as long a. the human family varies
as Il does. such will be the case II is well. Of
course, TO warn against-and that is the poin,
OF the text-the evil Of oyerdressng. especially
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31
Whitfield TO A POINT.


Prepared chalk covers multitude OF
skins.
A tennis player says divorces are the
finals in the doubles
Note carefully the man who owns
soft, persuasive voice.
Be frugal Of your common sense; II will
some day be above par
Many woman acts rather stiffly after
her first tango lesson.
Some women are born shapely and some
others employ expert dressmskers.
He who msrries widow need not hope
to be called the best man that ever lived
II young man has money to burn any
number of anxious mothers try to hand
him match
Success may not depend so much upon
what you do yourself as upon what you
can jolly others into doing for you.
As a rule, the money man doesn't
save by remaining bachelor would be
more than enough TO support wife and
ten children.
II a woman still laughs at her husband $
Jokes five years after the wedding bells
have jingled the divorce lawyers get dis
couraged
II you recommend a man for a position
and he acts badly it is doughnuts to
fudge that you will be blamed for it all
the rest Of your days, Chicago News
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31
SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT

Cleveland Plain Dealer: The Presby-
terisn general assembly criticizes pre-
vailing feminine styles. In which the as
semb!y shows that its eyes are stiil as
good as IN the days od criuoline pettl-
coats. when It did the same thing.
Houston Post: Rev. Mr. Tipple, pastor
Of the Methodist church in Rome. saya
Dr. Anna shaw is the leader OF the
movement which IL destroying lntemper-
snce The brothers name and his con-
victions are evidently wide apart
Indianapolis News: The Presbyterian
proposal to establish a minimum salary
Of $1,000 for ministers may seem some
what revolutionary in some places, bat
probably something has to be done %
give the preacher a chance 10 buck the
high cost of living with some hope OF
success.
New York World: One OF the reports
submitted TO the Presbyterian general as
sembly treats Of womens dress. which
is described in severe terms. II then
adds: "The unfortunate side OF II is that
the women OF the church are quite 1s
guilty as are the women who make no
religious professions" Perhaps the
women of the church. when heard from,
will be able TO show that the men OF the
church are also careless TO some extent.
Philadelphia Bulletin: Speaking before
the Presbyterian general assembly, the
chairman of the ministerial relief COM
mittee proposed a minimum salary of
$1,000 year for ministers on the ground
that many of them who receive less than
that sum are unable to save enough
money during their active service to pro-
vide for their declining days. The pro-
fessional man who has had college edu-
cation and spent another four years in
mastering the special branch of knowl-
edge he has chosen, but still cannot earn
more than $40 a week is the exception
rather than the rule. He would be pretty
surely a failure in any other intellectual
vocation So that the minimum proposed
for the Presbyterian preachers is mini
mum in truth. But to enforce 1t would
almost certainly mean the curtailment
of the number of separate congregations
maintained, because scores OF them could
not afford to pay such salary. There
is where the problem arises.
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31
People and Events


One Of the policewomen Of Chicago
blushingly admits she is afraid to 20
home in the dark Feminist nerve seems
to have some limitations.
Several forehanded statesmen in wash
ington are beating the face off the
money devil" and thus clinching the In
dustrial Workers of the World vote for
fall delivery.
Enterprising furnishers in Philadelphia,
in filling a rush order for 1000 caps for
General Villas army. sent out a fine
assortment OF headgesr designed for po-
licemen. conductors, drum majors and
bellhops. with these varied lids the army
will present an imposing spectacle as it
chases the Indian boss through the
shrubbery OF Chapultepec.
A Pittsburgh son Of the "ould sod"
with up-to-the- minute enterprise. sprung
a new decoration in honor Of the pas
sage Of the home rule bill. Its funda-
mentals are of the cocktail brand, the
artistry consisting Of a sprig OF green
and a bit of orange peel. The deco
rative touch is perfectly safe in Pitts
burgh, but the natives wouldn't do Il
thing to the inventor II they had him in
Belfast or Portadown.
While home owners in this vicinity ex-
pend muscle and means TO rid their
lawns of dandelions. an enterprising
mother and daughter living in suburb
OF Chicago have built up a business OF
5000 a year by the sale Of beverage
made from dandelions, lemons and sugar.
Youngsters are hired to pick the weS l
throughout the neighborhood. thus rem
dering triple service--to themselves
the neighborhood and the wine makers.
The decoction is said to be strictly within
the prohibition belt.
Diplomatic codes are so varied and puz-
zling as to be understandable only by
the initiated That is the intention Of the
makers. The most unique and compre-
hensive that has been brought to ligh.
by the Mexican fracas is attributed 70
Nelson o'Shaughnessy and was devised
by his messenger, who was instructed
to observe and report on conference IN
which President Huerta was the prin-
cipaL The message he brought to Nelse,
delivered in the presence of company
was in these words: II saw the bloke,
and he amt hep yet to what he's COINS
70 do. but the runs running high in
the gauge. and think he'll strike a
hefty wallow soon"
The American hotel men touring Europe
unexpectedly ran iDto a champagne flood
at Paris and we're almost smothered
After the parade passed sO.0O0,oOO bottles
stacked In thirteet miles of wine cellars
they brought up "a banquet, $50 strong
Before each guest plate was tiny sill
yer spigot and so connected that wher
opened champagne flowed in sparkling
streams. Soon after the device was teste ]
end its capacity fairly measured the en-
thusiasm OF the party found vent =
cheers and embraces for the inventor. IL
the grey dawn of the morning after there
was much to do and little desire to DC
IT, But the tourists managed to reach
| the steamer for home.
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31
Talkinr About the Ion Nan.

Here is balm for those inclined to cuss the
ice man for the dminutive size Of the hunk
compared with the colossal amount OF the bill.
The Bee is in receipt OF newspaper published
in Shanghai, China. sent to us by Judge Lobin-
gier who presdes over the United States court
there, which contains an advertisement an
nouncing that depots will be opened" on the
first OF the month for the sale Of machine
made ice" at which ice in ten pound" pieces
viii be given in exchange for "a metal check"
the checks being on sale at the company's Of
fices. These metal checks, the public is also
advised may be purchased at the bargain
counter price OF twenty for $3." Make the
computation for comparison, and you will find
that the price Of ice in Shanghai undelivered is
SIS 1000 pounds against ice in Omaha, de-
Ilvered for $3.50 per 1000 pounds Any won
der they buy their ice ten pounds at a time in
Shanghai?
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31
About a City Center.

One of the chief drawbacks to progress in
our American cities unquestionaby arises from
inability or refusal to profit by the experience
OF other cities. Perhaps we are in a measure
overcoming this difficulty, but, II so, we are
doing 1t very slowly
AS giving us an insight into the strength
a series of articles just beginning in Golfers
promises to be most helpful. One Of the initial
observations made with particular reference to
Buffalo has we believe, special and timely APP
picatlon to Omaha:
The thing which Buffalo lacks physically is a
ognizable center; point which a stranger would
rOpera, and say to himself with absolute assurance;
Nov am at the very heart of the city" Every city
ought to have center and every center ought T.,
signify in its spaciousness its and its
architecture. cltys dignity. Buffalo is unfortu-
nateiy far from being alone in its need of such
thing Where Buffalo is most at fault is that It
not to be thinking OF municipal distinc-
ton And very many other cities Cleveland Is
already attaining it in manner which will be mag
nlticent; Chicago has long planned and is slowly
executing; Denver has work upon splendid municipal
center we'll under way; has San Francisco; St
Louis, Milwaukee. and Grand Rapids have plans for
excellent municipal improvements
Omaha is fortunate in being a city with a
natural center all laid out and only waiting de-
velopment 1t will be our real city center as
our people come to realize how fortunate they
are in possessing this municipal asset. We re-
gret that Omaha is not on the visiting list in
the announced itinerary OF Golfers commits
sioners for otherwise we may be sure the pos
sibilites of Omaha's city center would have
been mentioned in this connection.
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31
No Rules Hold in shipwreck.

The terrible disaster that has befallen the
Empress Of Ireland blotting out a thousand
lives almost in the twlnkling OF an eye proves
again that in such unexpected contingencies no
rules hold good. No doubt in each stateroom
and in numerous other conspicuous places di-
rections were duly posted telling exactly what
to do in case Of accident. but when the collision
came. with nearly everyone on board asleep,
the boat went down so fast that the victims had
not time to get out Of their berths much less
to save themselves according. to rule. Rules
for conduct in critical emergencies are good
when they can be followed, but, unfortunately,
critical emergencies seldom permit folks to OBJ
serve rules
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31

The event Of the day is the appearance at Boyds
Of Mira iangtry the Jersey IAily" filling every seat
in the hcuse Nine tenths OF the people went with
a feeling of euriosty 10 sea how Mrs Lanstry would
look others 70 see she really could act others
simply to say they had seen the renowned woman"
-PyEnaaion snd Galatea' the play.
A. the state meeting OF the ecisctics At Lincoln
Dr. Van Camp OF Omaha was made president and
Dr. A. J. Woodward chosen the board Of
The association win meet in Omaha next
year
The Young Peoples association Of the Presby-
teran church Dodge street Is planning to give a
weight ana measure" socahle. the 70 so 70
the organ fund.
A. ,. Hanscom has sold 70 John ". Lomisburg
lots y and is, Hshsco1n place. for $3.50
Superintendent Mccabe Of the NebrNska division
Of the n. o. says the Florence cutoff 10 likely to
be open for traina in about ten days
The Long school AZ the corner OF King and Della
held special Decoration day exercises un-
direction of sho principal Miss sarah Aecheane.
Owing 70 he absence Of Member Wilson Of the
board Of Public Works, Inc board transacted busi-
meas a. Sc meeting.
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31
WHY DO YOU SING, LITTLE BIRD

Helen vas out in the garden at play
In the afternoon of a warm, spring day,
When, low and soft. from the tree she
The joyous tones Of little bird
"oh, Why do you sing. little bird?'' said
You wake me each morn with your won
derful song;
Evenings l bark to your tones, sweet
and long;
And all through the day you fly In and
And sing to yourself. What Is it about?
Oh, why do you sing, httle hird"'' said
why do you sing in our aople tree?"
Why do sing little girl?" said he.
Because I've a nest In the apple tree.
1t is built of twigs so fine and brown,
And lined with hair and the softest down
In its cozy depths, half hidden from view,
Are four delicate eggs, speckled and blue
Here we sing so free 'twixt the earth
and sky
In our ieafy bower No care is nigh.
Therefore, 1 sing. little girl" said he,
Because / am happy as 1 can be-
why do sing little girI?" said he
Because I've mate who is dear to me-
She helped to build our dainty nest,
Snug and safe in the branches pressed
She sits on the speckled eggs all day,
While | sing to pass the time away.
To FIN the mouths OF our hungry brood.
Therefore. / sing, little GIRL said ne
Because l am happy as / can be-"
why do sing, little girl?" said he,
II sing to the dear old apple tree,
With its leaves SO green and its fruit
so red;
To the sun that is shining overhead;
To the waving grass: to the flowers and
trees;
To the flowing brook and the gentle
breeze;
To the deep blue heavens arched above:
To the whole wide world / so dearly love;
Therefore, sing, little girl" said he
Because am happy as l can be-"
Omaha. DAVID.
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31
OBSERVATIONS OF A CYN1c.

Many mans only idea of improving
his time is to tinker with his watch.
We can't all be stars, but on the other
hand we needn't be clouds. either.
DON'T follow your inclinations unless
you know where they are leading you.
AS a general rule when man marries
his stenographer he ceases to dictate to
her.
+ 1t sometimes takes more than liquid
glances to make fellow solid with a
girl.
We. all like a fellow with some go to
him. provided he is willing to take us
along.
You will discover that most men are
ell right IL you only take the trouble to
ask them.
God created man a little lower thar
the angels, but you can't make some men
believe it.
The great trouble with most people n
that they seem to think they are Just as
good as we are.
happy when he is neither viii ultimately
come out on top.
Many a woman's idea Of good bus,
hand is one who can carve without get
ting any spots on the tablecloth.
Even the billboard man will tell you
there is quite difference between be-
Ing well posted and being stuck up
Life is full of ups and downs. and ever
the man who is on the level doesn't
always find it smooth travelling. ~.
All that glitters isnt gold. Many {
man has pinned his faith to a star. only
to discover that IL was really only fire
fly.-New York Times.
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31
PASSING PLEAsANTRIEs.

Possible Boarder-I enjoyed my dinner
very much and If It was a fair sample
of your meals ] should like TO come to
terms
fair sample of your appetite Boston
Transcript
Il suppose you are thinking w new
things to tell the people out home
No" replied Senator Sorghum "Tm
trying to find some way to take back
what l told them when l was there be-
fore. Washington Star.
Seems to be the style now to wear the
hat resting on the ears
. Yes and | know an expert who for
two dollars treatment will train your
ears to stick out in the most fashionable
way. louisville Courier-Journal
she-cOuIdHt you get fathers CON
sent?
Hell might have; but after Interview
ing him couldn't get my own consent
to accept him as father-in-law ''--Bos-
ton Transcript
What did her old man say when you
told him you could support his daugh
He wanted to know If she gave up her
job to marry me, who was going to sup
port him. Baltimore American.
Pursuing your scientific researches at
the ball park, professor
Yes; / want to see if there is any
truth in the statement that little pitchers
have abnormally large ears, Louisville
Courier-Journal
do you know anything about muslc?''
Yes" replied Mr.. HGrowcher.
Whats a rest?'
The time it takes 'em to change the
record in the music machine next door"
Washington Star.
Now, waiter, / want Some tongue,
some nice tongue, not tongue that has
been around here for weeks. but some
fresh tongue. want my tongue well
cooked not half raw, waiter Now hustle
out and get me some tongue, large or
der of tongue"
Il don't, think you need much more
tongue remarked his partner incisively.
Louisville Courier-Journal
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31
The New.Time Citizen.

l dunno bout the "old" Tine--the New Time that
with ali is beauty and it's light. is good enough
There's love forever dreamin in the New TiAe
sweethearrs eyes,
And all the green world sendin' love song to the
skies.
JOY stil IL with us
And JOY Is to be,
And So say the New Time
Is good enough for mel
some see the Old Time through MemOry's mellow
beam,
And in the silence Of their lives with Memory they
Love fingers with them and ever lights the way,
take the New Time by the hand thankful for life
today.
A greater Joy is singing
or greater Joy 10 be;
The glory OF the New Time
Is good enough for mel
These lines are from the pen OF Frank I.
Stanton OF the Atlanta Constitution, "the sweet
singer OF the south" Their tone is true their
melody rich. II would be sad commentary
on these much-mooted good old tines TO ad
init that they we're all better than the new.
Life Is measured, not by It's yesterdays, save as
they give inspiration for the todays Said an
old master Of beautiful thought:
In every human breast two opposite desires ara
surviving Tor mastery. Hope, gay goddess OF the
@ut"'e stAnus beside restless ambition pointing TO
the golden opportunities OF the west Men,or,
clothed In sable robes. silently sits beside some new
made grave dreaming Of the days that are gone
And which, pray, counts for the most In the
onward look and reach Of life? Hope is better
than memory, as life is better than death. Woa
TO him whom hope does not master. There "a
little room in the real life OF the day for him
who lounges long in the lap of memory over
looking the joys and opportunities of the pres
ent and the future. Nor to himself alone does
this somber mien do wrong, but to those about
him. to the world around him. to his day, in
which. II he does well at all, he must serve. II
the good old days" we're always the best how
despairing II would be for those millions Of us
who had not the opportunity of living in them.
II is song for US ALL
greater Soy is singing
OF greater JOY TO bei
The glory OF the New Time
Is good enough for mel
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31
wanted-More Prize Awards for Achievement,

Much attention is being accorded to sug-
gestion made by Prof. Rudolph Eucken that the
example of the founder of the Nobel prize be
emulated in the establishment of other funds
for recognition of achievement OF scholarships
in science, and particularly for such fund for
American benefactors of the race. Such an
award would give worldwide fame to what
America is doing in other fields besides money
making and trade extension. and counteract the
impression that Americans are bent only upon
becoming rich. The idea is certainly a good
one, not only for America, but also for other
countries aspiring to lead in advancement of
civilization and we look to have it bear fruition
before many years pass.
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31
woMEN's ACTIVITIES.

New York state has enacted law
which makes laundries subject to the
visits Of inspectors The law requires
that the workrooms be kept In a sanitary
condition, free from all vermin and dis
eases OF an infectious nature.
Miss Susanne Joire, sister Of Nine.
Paouin. never said the mean" things at
tributed to her about the American men.
She thinks they are splendid, and cannot
imagine why any one ever quoted her as
saying that they dressed like ragpiekers.
Miss Alice Lakey chairman of the food
committee of the National Consumers
league, says that she is for votes for
women because it took thirty-six years to
pass the pure food law and only three
years TO kill II on the statute book.
Women would not have permitted such a
state OF affairs. she says.
Harriet Chalmers Adams. one Of Amer
iea's foremost women explorers, has just
returned from journey along the fringe
OF Asia, where she has been studying the
peoples from Siberia to Sumatra In an
attempt TO trace the original American
In a communication TO the National Geo
graphic society she expresses the belief
that the ancient America" peoples came
by sea- possible in broken stages. from
Asia.
A Montreal servant girl in one Of the
papers of that city pays her respects &c
the emigration agents. She had a nice
position In England, working for S225 q
year. She had many friends, all OF then
happy and contented. not one OF whom
haa a,,ar stoona usronq Than CANA a.
emigration agent with his tale Of tho
beauties Of Canada, with its high wages
and little work to Go. The SIR hstene,
and is now doing rough WORK at sl2 I
month.
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31
The Differenee.

Chief Stone OF the American Brother
hood OF Locomotive Engineers telegraphs
President WILSON that his organization
viii furnish expert men. familiar with
Mexican railroads. TO man whatever troop
trains are necessary In the event Of war
contrasted with Bill Haywood's groWl, II
marks the difference between labor that
viii work and the crew that won't work. {"
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31

General coxey finally landed in Washington,
but with an army of only seven followers The
general seems 70 have overlooked the sixteen
years OF republican rule since he capitalized his
last famous petition in boots.
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31

President Wilson admits being aware of the
present depression in business" but insists
that 1t is purely psychological" Queer, how
ever. that these Psychological" depressions
coineide almost invariably with democratic ad-
ministrations.
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31

Subscribers leaving the city temporarily
should have The Bee mailed 20 them. Ad-
dress will be changed often as requested.
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31
satiafactorr Peaee .


Conditions in Mexico viii never be SAT-
isfactory TO our government until a ehau-
tauaua lecturer can take I'm the cities
without jeopardy.
Omaha daily bee., 1914-05-31

II it were just his promise not to run again
that Governor Morehead was breaking. some of
his democratic friends might be more enthusi-
astic. The trouble is that the governor made
lot Of other promises which he also forgot to
keep.