The Washington herald., 1914-02-15


man nature?
Go after Il the first chance you get-you'l
learn a lot.
For instance, during a trip recently on one
Of Mr. Pulmaa's seep-wagons soon learned
that the brisk aud breezy crew in the seats
around me were commercial travellers, and they
were tanning each other with fairy tales about
the goods they sold.
/ learned that the one who looked like hui
man apple was affectionately known Slim be
cause he's so fat that every time he turns around
he meets himself coming back.
And it wasn't hard to learn that the tall one
with the sandy hair was Nick Dalrymple, who
goes after the orders for hardware house in
Columbus and knows everybody in the world
bar one family living in Yonkers.
Then there was Tod Gilpin, who cuts ice for
a match factory in Newark, an he's the life OF
small party
Tod's main hold is 70 creep into the reading
Toonh of a Rube hotel after the chores are done
OF an evening and throw salve at the come-ons.
Tod tells them that their town is the brightest
spot on the map. and they warm up to him and
want to buy him sarsaparilla and root beer Then
when he gets them stuck on themselves inc sells
them matches.
Presently learned that the party with the
:nauve forehead and the magenta moustache was
s!dutt Dawson-the most reckless spendthrift
with his words and the meanest man to the Eng
lish language l ever listened to.
The Dream Builders Association was in full
session when Wedge Murray caromed over and
weighed-in with the party.
Wedge is saucy little party, FIVE foot four,
with three foot shoulders. He thinks he strikes
twelve on all occasions, but his timepiece is an
hour SLOW
learned that Wedge sells canned shirt
waists for the Shine Brothers, and if he's ever
let into the firm it will be as a brother.
Wedge is of those goose-headed ginks
who scratch gravel and start in to make a killing
every time they see pretty girl.
Across the aisle sat two pet canaries from
Plainfeid N. J. They were members of the
Soubrette Singing Society, and they were en-
route to the West to join the Bunch of Birds
Burlesque Company" ~..
Their names were Mile and Tillie, and they
wore Feather Buster hats, and did sister act
that contained more bad grammar than an East
Side pinochle game.
Mile was fully aware that she could back
Duse off the map, and Tillie was ready to bet a
weeks salary that she could make Bernhard
feel like she was out in the storm we had day
before yesterday.
Tod called them the Roast-Beef Sisters, Rare
and We-done.
In minute the.castors on Wedges neck be-
gan 10 turn
Nick put tie others wise with wink, so
they lit the fire and began to cook it up.
Wedges heart was warming for the birds IN
the gilded cage.
Nothing into it!' said Slim Its plain
case OF Appomattox. The war is over and they
are yours, Wedge"
Wedge turned a few more volts into his
twnkling lamps.
Lower your mainsail, Wedge, and crop
alongside; you've made the landing" suggested
Nick
Wedge began to feel his nccktie and play
patty-cake with the little bald spot or the TOP of
his head.
Stop the hanson and get out; you're at
YOUR corner said Tod
The Sweet Dreams across The way were Civ
ing Wedge the glorious eye-roli and lie felt
tha! dinner ready.
Hang up your hat Wedge, ard gather the
myrtle with Nary Slim Clipped in
Then Wedge bounced over. and began to
show Mile and Title what handsome brute
lie was at close quarters.
He sat on the of tie seat and steamed
up.
In less than a minute he crowded the infer
nation them that he was 4 millionaire who
bad escaped from Los Angeles, Cal, and he was
just going to put them both in grand opera,
when Tod coddled over to him and said: Next
stop Erie! You told me to remind .ou to send
tllaf telcnram yn,ir uifn II, / oc.,ns,,ort :,