davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1914-01-30

The Rapids made the usual run
from Paducah.
The John Lee arrived from Mem
phis.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1914-01-30
River Forecast.

River Forecast.
The Ohio, from the mouth of the
Wabash to Cairo, will continue to
rise during the next ? or days.
Little change is expected within
the remainder of this river district
during the next few days.
r. T. LINDLEY,
Local Forecaster
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1914-01-30
For Bee Stlnos,

For Insect bites or bee and wasp
stings. solution of common baking
soda and water will give relief. Weak
ened ammonia is also good
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1914-01-30
ADDITIONAL PERSONALS.

The condition of Dan SULTAN, who
is in a critical condition at Bondu-
rant hospital, was unchanged early
this morning.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1914-01-30

AL Staehle left for st. Louis last
night where he expects If he sur
wives the ordeal. to complete al
initiation in an adanced degree Of
the Mystic Shriners.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1914-01-30

Dear Doctor, Friend. Lawyer,
Your Professional Card in this
paper would increase your business.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1914-01-30
Weather Forecast

Cairo and vicinity: Fair and cold
er Friday.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1914-01-30
THE WEATHER
Report for The ylllsti1 BY
the United States Weather
Bureau Service.
WEATHER.

Illinois and Missouri: Fair Fri
lay and Saturday. Warmer.
kentucky; Local snow and much
Older Friday. Saturday fair and
somewhat warmer in the west and
nentral portions.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1914-01-30
NEWS OF THE RIVERS


Stage of the river 11.6 feet rise
of 0.3 feet in the past "a hours.
Stage of the river en- January %,
1913, 4S.9 feet.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1914-01-30

the opinion that they should remain
in the company but there was no
definite conclusion as to who would
he nominated for captain.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1914-01-30
Local Data,
Sunrise and Sunset.

Sun will rise today .7:ef
Sun will set today ...... .5:20
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1914-01-30

Miss Jane Salisbury, a moving pic
ture actress, who gained fame in
that work, has become the beloved
OF Omar Khayvam on the stage.
Richard w. Tully, young author
who aims at some thing more than
an exhibition of legs to a little
catchy music, has succeeded in plac-
ing Amar Khayyam On the stage
with some semblance of reality.
Miss Salisbury is here dressed in
the part of Shireen, whom Omar
loved most, perhaps even more than
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11
LAYMBN COURTS
For Settlement Of Industrial Dispute
Proposed To Federal Industrial
Relations Conmisalon

SEATTLE. Wash. Aug l0-Indus
trial courts 20 be composed solely OF
laymen were proposed 10 the federal
Industrial relations commission today
by Dr. J Allen smith head Of the de-
partment Of economics and social
science in the University Of Washing.
ton
The proposed plan % obtaining an
Industrial court for the settlement OF
diniculties between employers and
employees might WORK out an rIcht n
the court were composed only OF Law,
men Or Smith said, but Id would
nave 70 be entirely apart from lauypr4
and judges. They are not boz sympathy
with the rights 81 the laborer. opira
10 their associations "
Employers do not recognize ths
rights ot the employe and the empIoye
should be given more interest in tha
property which he builds ~ Dr smith
declared
Earl COnstsntin. secretary Of the
employers association of WaHhinrton
said that organization stood rrinariiy
Tor the open shop
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11
STEAMER SUNK
Dutch Vessel Alcor Goes Down But
Crew 10 SaVed-Cause
Unknown.

LONDON. Aug. l0-515 p m.-The
Dutch steamer Alcor Of 2oO6 tons. has
been sunk and her crew landed az
HelFingiors She was bound from
Rotterdam for Cronstadt Russia.
There b. nothing 20 show whether che
struck a mine or was hit by a shell
one hundred and twenty Germans
among the crew Of the Red Star line
steamer lapland. anchored In the
Solent were taken on the vessel this
afternoon by a government tug and
Transferred 20 Portsmouth Fifty Bel.
slams among the crew also left the
cleaner and are returning 20 Belgium.
4 French gunboat escorted into Fal-
mouth az noon an Amsterdam liner
which the warship had picked up al
the entrance 90 the English channel
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

7 know woman who. when she
starts after anything starts right IN
the opposite direction. notwithstand
inE lfs twenty-five thousand miles
around % 10 that way. and then she
approaches from the other side
know a woman who says u she
had a man who wouldn't give her any
money she'd cultivate him Suppose
she had no culfivatOr7 suppose hiH
soil was 20 poor Do would raise moth.
luE-not even dollar-nO matter
how much care lhousokoeplngl or fer.
uiizcr tcookinFI OF irrigation tcharmJ
she applied
People who know less than do tire
mo The ones who know more feel
The same Hence I'm alone mostly.
To had made myself 7 should have
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11
CANADA'S QUOTA
OF Men 20 Go 20 War VIII Soon Be
Recruited and Sent 20 Mobilz-
ing Center.

OTTAWA. Ont. Aug Within a
week Colonel Samuel Hughes. minis
ter % militia. hopes 20 have most OF
the 1000 men who viii make up the
canadian contingent. which will 20
70 the war, on the way 20 Nalcartier.
Quebec. the mobllizing center. Three
regiments are already on the way.
They are the Royal Canadian f0r- o
artillery. tho Royal Canadian ORA
Eoons and the Strafhoora horre %
has not yet been decided whether
these units VIII 90 O. ne scat Cf
war. Recruiting Will close for tho
over sea contingent "wednesday night
and from the list Of names sent In 20
the militia department. the $4,000
men required viii be picked without
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11
HOME RULE PROPOSALS.

LONDON. Aug. lO-5. 80 .. m-Ou
moving the adjournment OF the house
OF commons for a fortnight Premier
Asqulth this evening minated he MS
hopeful that In the interval he might
ne abie 70 make proposals REGARDING
Irish home rule which would msfe
something Ike general acqIiescencs
ln the soluuon OF the au.stlnn
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11
VEees MAKE HAUL.

ST MARYS W Va. Aug 10
eggs entered the store OF the 81
Marys Fruit Company at 2.3O this
morning by forcing the rear door The
safe was blown and two hundred dol
lars secured. Three men who did the
job escaped leaving no clue
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

been so charming thst-Ueu mo-,
likely ! should have been Robbled IN
i9nE ago A. II is. II I'm good AZ anv.
another 'na"
SHORTHAND makes me think OF the
guns on Lake Michigan That is n
upside down anu nc"
II mere 10 a weak spot IN the fotfn.
-, ION y. OF elsenicH. IL too much would
In Judge 'eAAi4 v
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11
CUT MS THRoAr-

special Dispatch 90 the InteIIIgencer
CUMBERLAND. Nd. Aug 10
Daniel Moran. rs. OF Bloomington
Just west Of Piedmont. committee
suicide this morning under a grape
arDor by cutting his throat With
razor. His wife. one son and three
daughters survive. No cause can be
assigned
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

delay and viii be rushed TO the mob
uizing center.
hlng George has notified the GOV.
eminent here that he will be pleased
70 accept a full division OF - 600 men
from canada 20 night with the British
troops In addition TO this division
the regiment being raised and
equipped By hamilton Gault OF Mon.
treal, VIII 90 10 the front
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11
cARRANzA TO TAKE COMMAND.

LADERO Texas. Aug IO-GeneraI
tarranza left san Luis Potosi today
Tor Quc-Ctaro 10 take command % the
entire ConstituUonalist army. accord
ms m Information received here to
cay from san illus poiosl
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11
TYPO CONVENTION
Opens IN Providence. r. g.. and Al
ninlstration Forces Win In
First Clash % Big Meeting

PROVIDENCE. r. /. Aug. 1O.-The
opening Of the annual convention Of
the International typographical union
here today was attended by nearly
300 delegates
by a vote Of 205 10 Il the anti-ad-
ministration forces were defeated IN
their proposition that the delegates
rather than International President
James VI Duncan should appoint the
members 81 the committee on APP
peals
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11
HUDSON s. 1850 #
The Latter-Day Car

The 1913 model OF the HUDSON
SiX-+0 IS the finest example Of lat
ter-day car you can find on the mar
ket today.
It's a finished product. -Four years
have been spent on il by Howard {.
Coffin and his ~ engineers. The last
year has added 81 improvements.
Now here is their concepton-;hs
HUDSON concepuon-of the ideal
car OF tomorrow:
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11
a Slant al PhylIIa

tFrom Judge
Wnen ] take note Of Phyllis' hat
llpped on one side. one eve dis.
RuisinE.
] wonder why II a. 90 fat.
ana az her aspect quite aurprfaing
For though her skirt hts cIose bet,,,
With Sits that aid her iornotion
lt Grows IN volume az YOU know
ADo'e. such is the crazy notion
iirr Malst u underlined and yet
fuu many contours sho c0nfe4-c.
ln fact. 30 many you FORGET
just nov a tropic maiden dresses
Anq az again you her survey
81, 20 marx her veil you are beholden-
~ So, = 'na'f lf some later day
WI Phyllis further Ftul emboidcr
u A Waldron.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

Japan although a great rice grow
ing country. imported from abroad
last year more than SIS 900 900 worth
OF this cereal
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11
WAR BRIEFS

AMSTERDAM. via London. Aug II
S.O5 a. m.-Quecn Wilhelmiua has
published a proclamation regretting
the disturbance 10 commerce and in
dusiry and calling upon everybody 20
assist those In need She suggests
the formation OF a general benevolent
committee with the minister OF com
merce az president
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

ne eFer-increasinR use OF clear.
yes IN Europe. a. well AZ fr 10
. nllea states. brought into proni
I'nce certain brands ~ Turkiah ana
creek fObacro never before IL A.
mand Tor the manufacture Of cleo
'it"s and caused the high prices
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

LONDON. Aug 1O.-As a result OF
the war King George today. through
Reginald Mckenna. the home secre-
tary. ordered the release Of all mill
tant sunragettes serving terms IN
prison Tor breaches OF the peace Mr..
Mckenna made this announcement In
the house OF commons
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

PARIS. Via London Aus no. 725
p m il is reported from Relfort that
In view OF The execution of French
subjects by Germans seven prominent
residents 90 the German town OF
MonfreIV. NieuN. Iuet over tho Fron.
tier. have been taken ty the French
al lOstatss
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

GLASGOW. Aug 10. - Leadi-c
Scotch wooden manufacturer arc ~
the belief that they viii sustain ero.
nous losses as result 90 the war
= large part n their business has
been done in Germany. The Ger
mans recently insisted upon a speedy
delivery ~ their orders and the man
ufacturcrs fear that they never VII
grt their pay for the goods shipped
them
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

PHILADELPHIA. AUG 1O-The
Italian line steamship Ancona sailed
from this port to-day tor Italy via
New York Many Italian reservista
are said % be- among the 500 sfcerage
passengers but prominent Italian CIT
izens and officials Of the steamship
denied the report. declaring that the
passenger were taking their families
home for q visit
Other passengers will board the
vessel az New York where DO will re-
main Tor two days before sailr.- i--
Naples
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

urday advanced against the Austrian
frontier posts 20 the east OF the forti-
fed town Of TrebinJe. Herzegovina.
The Austrian losses were one oficer
and 81 men. while the MonteneRrins
lost 200 men killed
The Russians have made strenuous
efforts TO enter Austria. but have
been repulsed The Austrian frontier
troops have carried out successfully
several accommodating expeditions
The Heichspost says that Servian
supplies from the new Servian terrific
~ are gradually being cut on as the
surrounding Of the Scrvisns by the
Austrians proceeds
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

SAN DIEGO. Cal, Aug 1O.-Strict
secrecy regarding the movements OF
ne British and German Warships on
the Lower California coast was main
tanned by the officers and crew Of the
U. $. 5. Glacier which arrived In port
today from Mazatlan. Captain Tozer
declared be had nothing 70 say and i'm
timated that any member OF the crew
disobeying the order not 10 talk would
be subject 10 court martial
n o. believed that the Glacier SIGHT.
ed ships Of both squadrons in the
vicinity Of Msgdalena bay
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11
German and French Artillerymen

Arcley
armies Arunym~n
q
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

LONDON. Aug 1O--3. IS p. M Tho
North sea was again closed % the FISH
ing fleets today. The harbormaEtGr
40 Scarborough received a message
from the admiralty instruCting him 20
NOT % 20 ont until furthnr noflca.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

san FRANCISCO. Cal Aug DOB
TNuruf gone vessels 90 tho hrII'rrrrrfe
European nations. rwuInr.rr $500
men. are tied ur here afraid t1 move
until tho situation clears Most OF
Tho men are sIrnrd f1r round frIUa
and FlIgoenfIr entitled 90 pay Tor
tho term OF their voragra
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

LONDON Aug 1O.-Mrs George
Law, OF New York. left London TO-
day BY automobile bound for Havre
u b. her intention 20 join the French
Red Cross
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

GLASGOW. Aug 10 - American
and Canadian tourists NUMBERING
over 100. who are stranded here ow-
INK 20 suspension Of the sailing OF
steamers from Glasgow. held a meet.
Ing tonight az which John y Nc
Gum. tho American consul. presided
committee was appointed 10 regis
ter the names Of the refugees and
render them financial assistance
when needed
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

ANTWERP Fsa London. Aus fH
-.s Dr. w-Trr Austrian steamers
Zora and n-azaffua vrra seized today
in che port here
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

VIENNA. AUG fH. via London =
1--WE thousand MonteuerrIns last Sat
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

BIRMINGHAM. r0F Arr 10 The
admiralty rar informed frr Navo- rf
hiruirEfam thar tho cruiser H.rwi~e
pan. Wnil1 vas put .n conn. ra.1-
la.t February. sunk the first German
submarine % the uar-the U-Tr
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11
Its Advances

One aim has been 10 end the old
time OveT-taXeS. Here is ample
room but modest size. The car has
seats for SeveIt Here is moderate
but sufficient power. The engine
develops ~ horsepower.
Here is lightneSS combined with
strength - due to better materials
and better designing. The car weighs
$500 poundS-or 1000 pounds less
than former averages for cars Of this
capacity. Authorities say that $50
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

weight-saving cuts tire expense in
two.
Here is a new-type motor which
immensely reduces operative cost
Here are new lines, new beauty,
new comforts and convenience
many new. ideas in equipment. No
other car OF today shows 50 many
new attractions.
And here, above all, is a new-day
price, applied to a quality car. Here
is a high-grade SiX-the finest car
Howard Z. Coffin has built - TO-
$3.50, T. o. b. Detroit
The Show Car
This is the show car OF today The
new conceptions will interest you.
Come, see them while the car is new.
There were 5000 orders waiting
for this model when the first car
came from the shops. The HUD-
son output has been trebled 10
meet the demand for il. You will
know why this is when you see the
car.
utOmObile Co.
Ninth and Market SITS.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1914-08-11

sou HAMPTON Aug fn-Cha-d
.e- Hale. former assistant secretary
n -faff af WaFl.nrf0r. and William
eIFfe. ~ trw York accom- pan I'D
goo Americans arrived bore today
from Hsvre
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-01-03
DOMESTIC SCIENCE NOTES.

Conducted by Mrs Alice Gitchen Kirk.)
You must be sure to dine at Faust's
from my gastronomic friends. as I left
home for St. Louis several weeks ago. L
was not certain. with the clear head
every day. that could indulge in much Of
the German cooking which Is usually con-
sidered extremely heavy:
faust.s." I was not slow in accepting the
has fairly had the city grow around it,
and best of all they have never considered
for one moment that they must change or
large dining room on the first floor for
men only and a room called the cabin"
open at noon only in the evening for
large parties and banquets
This room has very large fireplace and
beautiful high paneling Of rare old ma
and an old-fashioned, uneven tile floor.
4 ne second floor or main dining room is
reached ra by wide marble stairway; AS
Of hospitality there here Il seemed to Be the
ones friends.
Henry Finck, author of Food and
Flavor" says that the Germans are the
learn easily from other nations. enjoy new
dishes and are often able to improve on
We dined well and long and were In
vited to come again for potato pancakes
and German pfankuchen. WHICH we DID
and also saw them made. I will give the
recipe for the latter, which we had for
dessert without coffee.
German Pfankuchen.
Use the same recipe as for popOvers.
which has been given several times Have
a well-greased flaring skillet greasing
we'll clear to the top of the sides Turn
in the batter and tip 1t 80 the sides are
covered. When well Drowned on the bot
top. Remove the pan. Have ready melted
butter and Jelly or jam.
Cover well, sprinkle with cinnamon. roll
quickly while hot and serve. This is de-
licious. and with little practice anyone
can make it. The batter may be sweet
ened little IL desired.
At Kurga's we had supper after listen
ing to one of their famous symphony con-
certs. This Is very small place, where
everybody knew everybody else. Every
Saturday night q special dish e served
This was "Spaghetti night All oecora-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-01-03
Or G&dI}$pesBB II SGbnpeD

from a dress skirt Of brown serge?
ca How can you find out II a boy
loves you?
.(5) Should you play kissing games
QUESTION ASKER"
I'd He might ask the girl If he
may take her home, but OF course If
she has already promised somebody
else she must tell him so.
(3) It is not at all right, my dear.
and 1t is always harmful for q girl
to allow a boy to write such notes to
her, whether her parents know the
boy or not
go. Sponge with alcohol, brushing
the stain from the outside in so that
no dark ring will be left
% By his consideration and re-
spect for you, and the way he wants
to be with you as much as possible.
But you are too young to think seri-
ously of love. 49,
(5) I do not approve of them They
spread great. deal OF disease. I
know one girl who was made an in
valid for life because q young man
with a terrible disease kissed her on
the lips during kissing game.
= = &
Dear Mrs. Thompson: (1) am q
married woman and do all my own
work and do quite a little sewing.
How can I keep my hands nice and
soft and white?
(2) am considered very pretty
by all my friends and am very much
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-01-03

ice: dilute with water. Garnish with
fresh mint leaves and whole straWber-
ries.
Boston Brown Bread-One cup Of rye
meal. one cup Of granulated corn meal.
one cup Of graham flour, three-fouf tn
tablespoonful Of soda, one teaspoonful
Of salt, three-fourths cup of molasses.
two cups of sour milk. or one and
three-fourth cups of sweet milk or
water.
Mix and sift the dry ingredients, add
the mOlasses and milk, stir until well
mixed, turn into a we'll buttered mould.
and steam three and one-half hours
The cover should be buttered before
being placed on the mould, and then
tied down with string. otherwise the
bread In rising might force of the COW
er. The mould should never be filed
more than two-thirds full. For steam
ing, place the mould on a trivet in a
kettle containing boiling water. allow
ing the water to come half way up
, around the mould, cover closely. and
steam, adding as needed, more boiling
water. A melon mould 0rssoAe pound
baking powder boxes make the most
attractive shaped loaves, but q five
pound lard pail will answer the purpose.
Royal soup-One cup of stale bread
crumbs, one-haf cup milk, yolks of
from boiled chicken, salt and pepper.
one and one-half cups of scalded milk,
three and one-half cups Of white stock.
two and one-half tablespoonful of
flour. Soak the bread crumbs in milk,
add the yolks Of eggs rubbed through a
sieve and the chicken meat also
rubbed through a sieve. Add gradually
the milk and chicken stock highly sea-
soned Bind with butter and flour
cooked together. and season with salt
and pepper.
The water in which a fowl or a chick
en- is cooked makes white stock.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-01-03
Dinner STORIES.

The Irishman was relating to some
friends in Glasgow how one night on
retiring to bed he fancied he saw a
ghost, and having a revolver handy
he fired at it. Next morning he exam
ined the object he had shot and dis
covered it to be his shirt.
What did you do then?" exclaimed
one of the company.
"Bedad, I just thanked heaven
wasn't inside ov It," replied Pat.
Hubby was in q bad temper. He
was late in getting up, and then he
cut himself while shaving. So he
reached the breakfast table scowling
blackly.
Look here. Mary" he said Grossly
to his wife, you've made me late
again, and asked you specially to
wake me up at 81
'.And did call you at 8 by my
watch" said Mary calmly.
Then your watch must be slow"
well, I can't help that. asked
you what time it was when you came
home last night. My watch was 2
O'Clock, but you said it was only mid
night. So set my watch right by
you!"
Determination writ large upon her
angry countenance, the mother of the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-01-03

child who had been bitten by an Irish
terrier belonging to a new neighbor
(Mrs. Green) gave an authoritative
'rat-tat'' with the knocker of Mrs.
Green's door.
The door was opened by a meek
looking elderly woman. and the Walls
OF the mothers wrath burst forth.
You're Mrs. Green, s-pose," she
sneered. Green by name an green
by natur', I should call you, to keep
a feroshus animile like that there Irish
territertoriai o. yourn, a-bftin' of in
nercent children an a-terrferizing the
whole neighborhood! I'll have the law
OF you! I'll make you pay! D'you hear?
I'll sue you for damages and ave that
'orrible dog shot, 1 will!''
Then. as she paused for a moment
for breath. the old woman took q slate
pencil and said. in mild apologize
tone:
Very sorry. mum: but would you
mind writin' it all down? I'm stone
deaf"
A Yorkshfreman suffering from
toothache went to a dentist to have
the aching tooth pulled out. The dem
fist pulled out the offending tooth, and
was then asked to pull out the double
tooth, next to it.
But that is a sound TOOTH" said the
dentist. THE pain is only sympathe-
s'Yank it out. doctor. Hang such
sympathy" replied the Tyke.