davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-08

tell me what wrong number to ask for if I want to get 4021 Mayfair?''
 Does the principal fault m the London service lie with the hello girl herself? Another shrewd American business man, who has had over b years experience of the metropolis and it's ways, and who has several lines at his piace of busi- ness and one at his residence, declared that such was the case. in talking to the writer.
 "At home" he said, "I am on the Hampstead exchange, which is said to be the worst in London. and what we have endured through the crass stupidity of the London telephone girl passes descrip- tion." He remarked, however, that, with characteristically British sowness, things in this respect were improving, the postoffice authorities, spurred to action no doubt by a recent campaign in the newspapers, having undoubtedly set to work hard to train the girls in such mat ters as enunciation and the general use of their voices, with, on the whole bene- ficient results, Of course, however, as the controller of the department himself later admitted, the English business girl seldom compares in alertness with her American cousin, and there is probably something, too, in the point made by a recent critic of the telephone system In the Times, who pointed out that the Lon don exchange girl, being a civil servant, has all the time the consciousness that nothing very terrible can happen to her unless she makes some unspeakable tlun- der, with the result that she takes mat ters easily, while telephone users here grow old before their time.
 Perhaps. however. the most aggrieved of all the folk who denounce the telephone system here are those who asert that they habitually are charged with either double or treble the number of telephone calls which their own records show, and those who. having ordered a telephone and signed a contract with the govern ment therefor find old age overtaklng them before there is the slightest pros pect of any instrument being installed. In the Times the other day a wrathy cit izen detailed how he waited 24 days after signing his contract before he actually was in possession of lis telephone, while in the Graphic of few days ago a still more i'll used, but now, apparently re- signed. victim outlines an experience which beats the first hollow. The Graphic man, whose name is Clark, ano ,who described himself as "an unhappy sufferer" states that he signed an agree ment for installation on the 9th day of May, 1915, and that he now, after volu-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-08
London Ne,O Yorks Supremacy Telephone Efficiency

goes one of the most amusing of them being the following:
 A Hampstead man named Linford, who through excessive charges-something like 100 calls a month more than his average one day conceived the bright idea of dis connecting his receiver and depositing it in his bankers strong room. Accordingly he did so, and a few months later was able to show newspaper man his bank er's receipt for the receiver IS we'll as a long bill from the postoffice for calls" that appartently originated from the ap- paratus in the strong room. "As far as l am able to judge from the demands sent in, remarked Linford dryly, this re- markable instrument effects more connec- tons from the bankers strong room than 1t did from my dining room.'
 It is only fair to say. by the bye, that while no doubt many of the folk who write to the newspapers here to roast the administration, do so only after hav- ing been driven nigh to frenzy, a goodly percentage of such protests are the re- suit of political animosity which enters into every department of life here. the unionist press of London, too. welcoming with open arms the smallest of sticks with which to belabor liberal postmaster general.
 Asked for a statement as to the com parative efficiency of London's telephone service as compared with that of New York, and as to the reasons for acknowl- edged defects in the former the controller, G. F. Preston, who has studied the ser vices in both New York and Chicago, spoke as follows:
 We admit quite frankly that we are behind New York in point of efficiency, but the main causes for this are not ones which it is, at present, in the power of those responsible for the London service to alter. except step by step. The com paratlve figures. too, are not bad, from our standpoint. all things considered Our speed of answer here, for instance, is Al seconds, as compared with about seconds for both New York and Chicago, while our percentage of cut-offs is practically identical with both of these American cities.
 It must be\remembered, to begin with, that in London we are handicapped by the fact that prior to the end of December. 1911, the telephone system here was un- der dual control-that of the postoffice, which entered the telephone field in 1902, and the National Telephone company a private organization which did business under a 31-years' license, which the gov ernment declined to renew at the end of that period. The government of course, eventually purchased the National sys- tenn lock, stock and barrel. paying there for, roughly. el2,0oo0eo, instead of the l21, ,00c0oO that had been asked, the matter having been submitted-t to arbitration.
 ''As a concern shortly going out of busi- ness, the National Telephone company. naturally, perhaps did not toward the latter part of it's career. either proceed with the building of needed new exchanges nor with the extension of existing ones.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-08

AONDON, March 7,-(Special) This old, but still ambitious
 metropolis, proud already in the 1fA possession of what are acknowl- edged to be the finest postal system and the most perfect telegraph system in the world, now covets that which is as gem really conceded to New York, of possess ing the most efficient telephone service of any of the worlds capital cities. That it is the ambition of the British post office-which now controls the telephone as well as the telegraph system Of this country--to surpass New York in this respect, was stated to me yesterday i'll 70 many words by G. B. Preston, con troller, under the postmaster general, of the London system, in the course Of an extended interview in which the respec- tive merits of the telephone systems of London and New York, and to some ex- tent, that of Paris. were discussed.
 Whether this latest ambition of off cialdom here ever will be realized is open to a lot of doubt, for London's phone service certainly is a long way behind New York's in practical efficiency. all though not so far behind as most Lon- doners imagine 1t to be. For Londoners who, as that acute American shopkeeper here, H. Gordon Selfridge. once remarked to the present writer, invariably com nare any service which exists in the me- tropolis with whatever they imagine would be the ideal. are inclined to be- lteve that they have the worst telephone service in the world. Unless, that is, they have been to Paris, which most travellers agree, holds the belt in this respect, and become acquainted with the beauties of the system which exists. under the paternal aegls of the French government in the City of Light
 However, the telephone service here, which has been under government admin filtration since the end of 1911, assuredly fs bad enough to warrant unlimited kick ing. and scarcely a day passes without q bitter wall being addressed to some one of the newspapers by an indignant subscriber, who invariably characterizes the management of London's phones as the last word in inefficency. The ma jority of these kickers are folk who either have been given wrong numbers by ''Ex~ change (as Central is called here) un- til their patience is exhausted or who have been kept waiting unconsionable times for the right one. and Punch" seldom has published more popular joke than one in which a Man al tele- phone' resignedly inquired of ,ne tee- phone girl, T say. Exchange, could you
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-08

sage outside. As he entered the office he left the door open Mir Nicholson arose and greeted him, at the same time speaking to me. After the meeting, Mr. Miles said to MT. Nicholson:
 ''I see that you know Mr. Furlong."
 Yes" replied Mir. Nicholson, q have known Tom for years, and he is wei come to anything I have.'
 MT. Furlong told me yhat you knew him. said Mir. Miles, "and he insisted on my coming down here and asking you about his standing in St. Louis."
 After a little further conversation, Mir Miles shook hands with MT. Nicholson, and we returned to my room at the Planters hotel, where Judges Martin and Gillespie and the stenographer were awaiting us. I then related in detail the story that had been told Tn by Harbaugh. After I had completed the narrative, all of which was taken down in shorthand by the stenographer, the younger MT. Martin, Harbaugh was sent for, and he verified the statements which had made. The conference was then adjourned for luncheon.
 At ? o'clock, when the party reassem- bled in my room, Judge Martin said:
 we have been considering this state ment of yours, MT. Furlong. We have known for some time that these lawyers whom you have named were trying to make trouble for us, but we did not know until you told us today just what they intended to do, and now I want to say that MT. Miles and myself appre- cite what you have done yn this matter so far and we are anxious for your opinion as to what you think is the best way to proceed
 Of course, I had been considering that point for sometime, and I replied:
 ''I believe that the best way to pro- ceed would be for Harbaugn to go to the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-08


 I went to the Planters hotel that even l1ss4 ---.a,ereu under the assumed name which I had given in my letter and was assigned to a room on the fourth floor.
 The next morning about o'clock Mir Joseph H. Miles, accompanied by his lawyers, ex-Judge Gillespie of Falls City and seX-Judge Martin of the same place, and the latter's son, who was a stenog- 1apher, arrived at the hotel. After we had all been mutually introduced I begun by saying;
 Gentlemen, my name Is Thomas Furlong, and I used a fictitious name Tn writing to MT. Miles because my name and business are known to a great many people in Nebraska. A certain person who is connected with what I know to be a conspiracy against Mr Miles resides in Falls Cty. of which he is an old nhabitant, and he would probably know my name if he heard it. As I did not know but that he might be connected with or know peo- pie in the telegraph office ana would thus learn that I had communicated with MT. Miles, I deemed it advisable not to use my own name. Now, I wish that you would call on any of the general man. agers of any of the railroads that enter St. Louis, or the president of any bank in the city whom you may know, and
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-08

so that, when the government took over the system we found ourselves with tre- mendous arrears to make up. Now the process of creating a new exchange in London is not one that can be performed with swiftness. It is a process that hard ly can be completed under two years. However, are building a number of new exchanges and extending others, and within reasonable time shall remedy our defects in this connection the pres ent rearrangements being responsible for large percentage of the wrong numbers given. a prolific cause. of which. too. is the failure of subscribers to print the altered numbers on their stationery and bilheads.
 At the present time" continued the controller, who spoke with great frank ness and previously had given the writer every facility for continuation of the gov ernment system, "our London telephone area comprises 64S square miles, being I believe, the largest in the world, and in this we have 25Q,O00 telephone stations with staff of 5000 operators.
 At present the London cara represents 595. 400 miles of wires, with 272,241 miles additional available fct development. of which the greater part, CT S0l, 362 mles, is underground wire. Our approximate number of original calls during the year ending March, 1913, was 320, ,6O0,00o and we possess nearly i0u0 public call of- fees.
 ative figures with New York and Chi cago which l can give you are of date le11. but they are as follows:
 London, 2.7 telephones per 1e0; popula- ton. 1,140U0: telephones. 191,7l5.
 New York. S.3 telephones per 100; pop ulation, 4.S6l, ,000; telephones, 4o1,S ,Ss9
 Chicago, 10.3 telephone per 1oo; popula- tion, 2,222,0oo; telephones, 2s9.oss.
 Rate of increase: London, II per cent: : New York, Il per cent Chicago l5 per cent.
 At the time when the postoffice. which had opened it's first exchange in April. 1902, took over the National Teleph one company, continued the controller i've possessed s0000 stations. the company. 140,000. At present the London system IS increasing by about 2e.0O0 stations year ly, and by 1920, we shall probably num- Der over 100000 stations Two causes combined in the past to make our rate of expansion slower than that of great American cities, the acknowledged su- periority of our postal and telegraph ar engagements over those of American cities and the slowness of the public here to get the telephone habit which is so general in the United States. The latter is responsible for the worse defects in the service. Subscribers in America not only answer calls more quickly but pro- vide themselves with sufficient number of lines. which, in the majority of cases. it is impossible, as yet. to get the pub lie here to do. Business houses in Lon don that require four or five lines con- tent themselves to one or two. with the result that the operator has no alter native but to reply Line busy. We in- vestigated case of this kind where a subscriber made IS separate attempts in
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-08

minous correspondence with the authori- ties, still is without so much as the be- ginning of a telephone. On the 27th of September, it is true, he received an off cial intimation that his number would be @Romford 116," and on November Il the of the same month he was assured that the matter was having best attention.
 On December 2S filter actually called and told him that the line would be put in on that very day, but it wasn't. and in spite of a lot more correspondence with officialdom, there the matter stands. However, says Clark, T cheer myself
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-08

by recalling that my lease still has sew eral years to rum
 What adds fuel to the flame of the man who is charged with calls in excess of those which he actually has had is the fact that, in this matter, he is absolutely tract stating in so many words that in cases of dispute as to the number of calls made on a certain line. the record in the governments books is to be taken as conclusive. Naturally enough, various ruses have been adopted by enraged sub scribers with a view to putting the au- thorities into the cart,.' as the saying
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-08
Too Much

From the Pittsbure Post.
 They were assigning Hercules all sortu of difficult jobs which be performed with- ont q muinur.
 Next ycu can be parcel post carrier during the holiday season..
 This was the only time Hercules ever baked.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-08
A Warmed-Oyer Sensation

From the Youths Companion.
 The professional fire-fighter is too fre- quently face to face with danger to regard fires in an esthetic light, but the feelings of the amateur with a passion for run ming with the machine" occasionally show an epicurean flavor
 While running to d fire in a large town in Massachusetts. one citizen overlook an- other who was going in the same dfrec- ton.
 70 dear" the last gulped. quite out of breath. "T hope it's not the stove-linins, works. I've seen that twice already"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-08
FOrehanded
From Puck

r
 NO. my man, this is not mine. IL was a twenty dollar bill lost
 But it was . twinty-dollar bill before got 1t changer. sor.''
 What did you get it changed for?'
 Och. sure. so the owner could con~I vaynently reward me, sor,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-08
Good for Contractor

From London Tit Bits
 With all the persuasiveness of hin kind, the insurance agent was calling upon Murphy to insure himself against accident.
 For instance said he If you lose hand we pay you f200."
 Faith. then" retorted the other. '0i'll spake to me brother Moike about it. He's a contractor an he do bo Iosin' hands al the toime. It's just the thing fui. him."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-08

Ask him as to my character and stand ing"
 Does MT. William Nicholson know you?" asked MT. Joseph H. Miles.
 He knows me very well" I answered.
 MT. Nicholson is my correspondent here,' said MT. Miles, ana has charge of more than million dollars of our estate''
 We walked over to Mr. Nicholson s bank and MT. Miles entered the private office, leaving me standing in the pas
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-08
Occasional Hitch

From the Somerville Journal
 Hicks-Is he a fluent writer?
 W'cks-Well, as fluent as a man ca n be who uses a fountain pen.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-08
The Sensational

ME of the cases to which l look
 back with the greatest satisfac- ton was that of the Miles will. 'I There is a common impression
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-08

)NDON, March 7.-(Special0
 This old, but still ambitious metropolis, proud already in the possession of what are acknowl-
Morgan County republican., 1914-07-23
Saloon the States Worst Enemy.
tBy Judge A. II Watkins, OF Texas,


Why does the state so abhor the
saloon on election day? Absolutely
one would think it no worse to see
whiskcy at one time as another. 1t
knows only too well that this right of
free men and the sale of drink are at
hopeless war; that the liquor traffic has
always been the sworn enemy of the
honest ballot: that to furnish the voter
with whiskey would be like arming a
mad man. If the saloon be the inno-
cent and harmless thing its advocates
claim, why not unohain II on election
day?
But in spite of these and every
other preCaution, the saloon is today
the gravest menace to an honest vote.
Not contest with taking its place in
society as a business simply, it is am
bilious SO become ruler.
Who ever heard of a drug store
ticket at an election? Who ever
heard of the family grocers, or the
shoe trade claiming the right to elect
their officers.
And yet one hardly need inquire
for any man that lived in a saloon
riden county or city that has not
heard of or voted for or against the
saloon ticket?" 1t is always there.
Ard from constable to governor those
lords of vice demand that society
shall bow to them. Many have won
dered at the cause and asked way a
simple business should not be satisfied
to be business simply. But the an
swer is not far or hard to find.
The saloon seeks the election o
candidates who are willing or pledge
to do its bidding. 1t is needless, foi
It follows the law. 1t is necessary
for the saloon, for it dehes the law
Selected.
Morgan County republican., 1914-07-23
To Vote on Equal Suffrage.

The requisite 23,eoo signatures to
the equal suffrage initiative petitions
have been secured by the women of
Missouri, and the question OF equal
suffrage will, therefore, 60 to the voters
of the state in November. The Pc
litions had to be filed with the secre-
tary of state before July l. The suf-
frage amendment will be Number IS
on the list of constitutional amend
ments.
The campaign for signi'ures has
been difficult one, owing to the lack
of means of rapid transportation in
the rural districts. There are several
counties which have no railroad, and
travelling had to be done by wagon,
stage or automobile. Mrs. Walter
Mac Nab Miller, the state president,
has travelled 1000 miles since last
November, and has talked to hum
dreds of audiences.
On her way west to help in the
campaigns of Montana and Nevada
Miss Rosalie Jones, of New York,
addressed large audiences in Mis-
souri,. She said:
There will be nothing put over
on the SHOW Me- State when i
places its approved upon the amend
ed to enfranchise women in 1914.
"Will Missouri allow the 'Solic
West to show it year after year
without reading the handwriting OF
the wall-which is, that Wyoming
Idaho, Utah, Colorado, Kansas
Washington, California, Arizona
Oregon. Illinois and Alaska have
taken their women from the idiot ant
criminal class politically?
"No. Missouri is with us, and, il
1915, the women of Missouri vii
open their houses for political instruc
ton in order to decide whether tn
interest of the homemaker is ampl
protected in Legislative halls.
Morgan County republican., 1914-07-23
For Free Settlement

Large tract of good valley farming
land just thrown open for free settle
ment, in Oregon. Over 200, 900
acres in all. Good climate, rich soil
and does not require irrigation to
raise finest crops of grain, fruit, and
garden truck. For large map, full
instructions of exceptionally good
claims, send S3.4o to John Keefe,
Eugene, Oregon; three years U. S.
surveyor and timberman. An OPP
portunity to get a good fertile free
homesiea ad near town and market.
Morgan County republican., 1914-07-23

Whose man are your asks the Full
ton Gazette. Are you political, So
cial or moral chattel? Does some
little boss own you or are you man
enough to do your thinking7 And
have you the courage to take orders
Unless you are your own man you
are mighty poor specimen of hu-
manity. You do not have to be the
smartest man in the country to think
and act for yourself. But you have
to have a backbone and manliness
You can't be anybody as long as you
are a servant. The people who
count have individuality. The bose,
never try TO control them. Honor
bright, whose man are you?
Morgan County republican., 1914-07-23
The Republican till January /,
1915, 25c.
Sheriff's Sale

By virtue and authority of two general
executions issued from the Office of the
clerk Of the circuit court of Morgan
county. Missouri, returnable at the Aug.
ust term, 1914. of said court. and to me
directed, in favor of Maggie Lawrence
and against Joseph l.. Lawrence, l have
levied upon and seized all the right, title,
interest and claim Of the said Joseph l.
Lawrence of, in and to the following
described real estate, to wit The south
half of the northwest quarter of the
southwest quarter of section thirteen
(15l, township forty (IO), range seventeen
07), situated in Morgan county, Missou-
ri, all lying and being in the said county,
and State of Missouri, and will. on
Monday, the 10th day of August A. ID.
l9l4 (it being the first day of the Circuit
court of said county,. between the hours
Of nine o'clock in the forenoon and five
O'Clock in the afternoon of that day, at
the court house door, III the City of
Versailles, county of Morgan, aforesaid,
sell the same, or so much thereof as may
be required, at public venlue. to the
highest bidder, for cash in hand (subject
to all prior liens and judgments). to sat.
isfy said executions and costs.
w. J. WILLIAMS,
Sheriff of Morgan county, Mo.