davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01

Mr.. John Hopkins. the well-known and
highly esteemed banker at Pine Hill. ar
rived in town Wednesday morning on a
visit to his aged mother He had
scarcely clasped her TO his manly breast
and taken a drink at the White Dog
saloon, when sixteen citizens of the HIN
appeared and demanded an interview
with him. II seems he had left ZINE
Hill without saying anything to any
body, and had only placed $500 on the
counter for his cashier to do business
with for the day. As soon as this was
ascertained the people became excited
and held a mass meeting, and the re-
suit was that sixteen delegates were sent
10 overhaul Mr.. Hopkins. He could have
explained matters to their satisfaction, no
doubt but they were SO earnest about II
that he decided to return with them and
make a public speech. Next day We got
word that everything was lovely. While
Mr.. Hopkins had no idea of leaving the
country and had only SO in cash with
him. the public cannot be blamed for be-
ing a bit over-zealous. Nothing but a
square deal goes.
This town is lighted at night by six
kerosene lamps. and old Jim Hewson,
and his crowd get together regularly at
o'clock every evening and shoot the
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01
p. D. @. INTERVIEWS
What Secretary Daniels Would Do in that Case

'And Providence is attending to some
other part Of Vermont
"She Is. No use in prayers. secretary"
Il never resort to them. Let's see? 1t
looks as IL there was collision due.
doesn't it?'
1T surely does. and 1t is not on the
New Haven road this time"
I'm! I'm, And you want to know
what ! would do under the circum-
stancesg'
That's II. i can submit to the State
department IL you aren't feeling up TO
the mark today"
.'Oh. I'm feeling all right Let's sec.
Oxen have horns. don'i they7"
Horns two feet long and as sharp as
pitchforks."
bad for us on the handsled. Well. all
things considered. i think / should ring
of my port engine
r.But why?"
"Or else my starboard one"
But why THAR
Then I'd ring for a full STOP
But. man alive, the distance IL too
shorti"
I'm! Um! Is Uncle Rube still yell
ing?'
mo: he's praying now"
But the school ma am is still squal-
ling?'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01

lamps into the middle of next day. This
has been going on for about four weeks
much to the annoyance of citizens and
the financial damage OF the town treas
ury. His honor. the mayor. (who is our,
selO gives public notice that from and
after this evening he and the city eoun-
Gil will be abroad after lamplight. and
anyone found popping at the public lamps
had better look out for a pop IN return
Friday morning, half-breed named
Joe Chin, was found dead in the road
about a mile west of town, and a co-C-
ner's investigation revealed the fact trat
he had drunk the contents of two
quart jug containing horse medicine
Joe Chin is the critter who stole and ate
five pounds of roller composition belong
ing to the Kicker Office. 1t gave iIm
cramps for three or four days, but he
eventually became frisky again. One of
the ingredients of the medicine was anti
mony, but it took the full two quarts to
make Joe lay down. He was the biggest
thief and liar for hundred miles around,
and no one will regret his taking OFF. Why
the vigilance committee didn't hang him
long ago is a matter to be wondered
over, though it may be that the shortness
of his neck had something to do with il.
1t could not have been broken by any
thing less than a fall of fifty feet. 1t is
no use hoping Joe is with the angels. He's
gone Wnere IL WOULD Durn the ledtnerS Oh
angels winds like dry grass.
While we were returning from Jacksons
Bend last Sunday afternoon. We fell in
with a stranger at No Mans Creek. who
seemed to be out hunting jack rabbits.
We had given him a few valuable hints
on how best to hunt the long-eared jack,
when he suddenly turned on us and ned
us up for SOS in cash, a silver watch aud
both our guns. He had a big revo.ver
looking us straight in the left eye before
we had any idea that the circus hai
come to town. and under the circum-
stances we thought it best to shell out.
He was a peremptory sort of critter.
but courteous withal and he gave us his
word that nothing but dire necessity
would have induced him to rob a news
paper man. We tried to get him to open
a game of poker with US, knowing that
we could win everything back on cou-
pie of hands. but he was in hurry and
soon went his way. The sheriff went out
with a posse next day and beat up The
country, but the traveller was not TO be
found.
Two months ago Mr.. John Hope came
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01
What Allied the Town.


Inc Han VINO was seilinS Illustrated
, family Bibles for the trifiing sum OF
81 apiece had a crowd around hin, n,
the s,,ao, oo g.. - -,
-' i''''' d" "oui anu
nao crieo MS wares In all sorts of tones,
but not a sale had been made. Growing
DISCOURAGED he finally addressed The
'o
1ehtiemen. THIS Bible has never been
offered to the public before for less than
$50. and I am Offering II nou, for on,
-0- ""'
hu'uie GU Gents sirnPly 10 close out my
stock and 60 INFO other business. Is
there any one here who finds FAINT with
the price,
II took this to be a Christian ro,,run-
ity, and can't believe I'm rnistaksn
can see two church spires from where
stand. and I'm sure there must he other
Can't an illustrated family RihIa uka
this be sold among Christian neopls7.'
Nobody stepped forward 10 buv ard
holding one of the good books above nj,
head he called out:
II insist that there is at least cha
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01

in the dining-room, hostler, the livery
man and a dozen other people identi-
fed him as a Chicago drummer who
had hired a rig ---out sixty days before
to drive out to a town off the railroad.
and had paid off the bill with bad money.
Brown was in a fair way to be con-
victed when a dentist saved him. 1t
was remembered that the drummer had
bad tooth pulled before he started
OIL the drive. The dentist had also found
two or three others which needed fill
ings. The minute he looked into Browns
the man.
Browns third adventure was more
funny than serious. A day or two after
leaving Evansville, and as he was rid
Ing in a passenger coach, woman
bearded the train at a station and came
along down the aisle and greeting him
with:
well. well, Mr.. Jackson. but who
would have thought of seeing you here!
How's Nancy and the children? When
is she coming up to see us all?'"
peg your pdrucn, sdlu tne traveller,
but haven't you made a mistaken
"a mistake in what? Have you got so
stuck up that you don't want to speak
to an old schoolmate? L hear you had
some money left you, but I didn't think
you would forget your friends on that
account"
Madam. my name is not jackson. but
Brown. and ! never saw you beforer'
What. What" she cried as she
turned ION him. We'll, did / ever. You
sit here and tell me that I don't know
Tom Jackson as well as I do my own
father Have you gone crazy-are you
running away from Nancy-what is it,
TT is as 1 told you. madam. may
look like Tom jackson, but l never saw
nor heard Of him. or you before. II Is
not ten days since / entered this State
for the first time"
And you deny that you are Tom Jack
SOM"
''I do" ~
"And haven't known you and Nancy
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01
for the last fifteen years?"

for the last fifteen years."
"No. ma'am.''
well. Lay never breathe again il I
ever saw man with such nerve,' ex-
claimed the woman. Il know what's the
matter. The money you got from your
uncle has pulled you up till you have
come to think Nancy amt good enough
for you. I'll just bet you have sold out
everything on the sly and are running
away! If you are hope Nancy will pur-
sue you to the end of the earth. The
minute / get home ! will write to her that
1 saw you and just how you acted"
Two days later, at Terre Haute, Brown
had just finished supper at the hotel when
an officer of the law clapped hand on
his shoulder and he went to the police
station as a prisoner. There he was con-
fronted with the name OF Henry Thomas.
and was charged with trying to pass a
worthless check on a local merchant. He
was identified by no less than six differ
emit persons and all his protestations went
for naught. He would certainly have been
held for examination, but that the real
culprit was arrested at a point fifty
miles away and brought to Terre Haute.
When the two men were placed side by
side they appeared to be twin brothers.
In height and weight they were exact.
lnelT RdlI ana IOncS were tuc Sdihc- lhry
even had the same gestures when speak
ing. 1t might have been question Of
who was innocent or guilty had not
fnomas confessed to his misdeed.
Browns fifth and last adventure be-
fore shaking the soil of the Hoosier
State on his soles was the most serious
one Of ALL He had spent a day and a
night at Lafayette when he was arrested
on charge OF attempted robbery and
felonious assault 1t was claimed that
he was one of a trio who had assaulted
a merchant in his store in village six
or eight miles distant. The three men
had entered the store I'm the evening
when the merchant happened to be alone,
and had knocked him down as the first
step toward getting hold OF the cash. He
had proved a tough nut. however. and
had driven thegang OF In q battered con-
dition. William Brown exactly fitted the
description OF one of the trio. OF course
he vigorously denied the charge and
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01
Two Close Observers.

The one was a young man with the
light Of ambition to be a detective shin
ing in his eyes; the other a middle-aSed
man, who was reading a newspaper.
Great man. wasn't hep queried the
young man at last.
".who?' asked the other as he looked
up.
Sherlock Holmes"
$50 I've heard
..But0here are others" continued the
young man as a smile of self-satisfac-
ton lighted UP his face.
Yes"
For instance. you are a bookkeeper.
cen tell by the ink stain on your
fingers. You are a careless man In
money matters. as that dollar peeping
out of your change pocket clearly
proves"
Anything more?' asked the man with
the paper.
You were brought up in the country.
as your bow legs tell at a glance. You
are something of a sport. as j assured
myself when i saw syou reading that
article about Corbett. From the way
you cock your eye should be willing to
bet that you are fond OF the ballet and
always have a front seat"
rs that ALL
That's about all. and Id like to know
IL I have hit you off?"
IF that is all. then let me tell you
something. You are an acrobat"
"Acrobat,-ha! ha, Ia! What makes
you think THAR
Because" said the other. as he seized
him by the neck and knee and carried
him out on the platform: because you
take such a beautiful tumble to your
SELF
And he lifted him up and gave him a
heave which landed him in the mud and
left him sprawling over half q block.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01

till dinner time. and then he brought
down a finished kite.
so you have put OF your experiments
I'll; tomorrow aueried Mrs. Bowser.
Not at ALL" he replied. Il forgot to
tell you that my first experiment is to
be made after dark. What i want to
get at Is the humidity and temperature
OF the evening. There is going to be a
good breeze tonight. and 1 shall count
on favorable results"
You'll get the whole neighborhood
out. and there are boys around here
who'd like no better fun than to plunk
you with missiles. Give up your idea
and let's go to the theater."
Never. Mrs. Bowser-nevcr in this
world, ] have set out to make a dis
covery. ! shall make 1t. The neigh
will PUNK me. All will be done very
quietly and smoothly. and I shall not
have to 40 out of our own yard
Mr.: Bowser waited until darkness fell.
and then took his kite into the back
yard. He thought he had deceiy ed
everybody. but not five minutes had gone
before half a dozen boys had passed the
word and were getting ready to enjoy
the fun with him. There was a good
breeze. and il was no trick at all for
him to get that kite up forty feet. He
nelu u tnere lot i've minutes, ana tnen
hauled IL down and excitedly announced
to Mrs. Bowser. who was standing in the
back door:
I've struck it right off. What do you
suppose the humidity up there ISL
II can't guess"
ITS 40 per cent. It's recorded right
here. and there can be no mistake"
1T can't be. There wouldn't be half of
that humidity in the densest fog
But here IL is-isO per cent" he per-
sisted, land you can't get around IL. Mrs
Bowser. / have made a discovery which
will set the whole world talking. While
! am sure there can be no mistake, I'll
send that kite up again to verify my
figures. So keep it clear of those tele-
phone wires and I'll climb on the roof
of the she'd
With laborious effort he clambered up
and the kite was passed up to him. II
had just got a start when the boys hid
den along the black fence began business
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01

cooks old cans and bottles and such.
The cook came out and assisted to pull
him out feet first and straighten his legs
and get the snow and dirt out Of hi,
hair. They were bending over him as
consciousness returned and he sat up.
well, what about the humidity
asked Mrs. Bowser.
He rose up with painful effort The
busted kite lay there on the ground and
the heads of seven different boys could
be seen above the back fence. Without
a look around, however. Mr.. Bowser
entered the kitchen and climbed the
stairs Mrs. Bowser followed. When
they had entered the sittingroom he
turned on her and hoarsely whispered:
Woman, | see-I understand
You understand that the humidity
was $50 per cent?" she replied.
He extended his right arm and waved
it. Then he followed suit with the left.
Then he kicked out both legs and rolled
up his eyes and worked his ears. She
waited patiently, but he couldn't get out
another word, and after a minute he
turned away and climbed up stairs and
banged his bedroom door after him. Two
hours later, when she went up he was
in bed and asleep. and he hadn't even
wiped the tomato seeds off his chin.
Next morning Mrs. Bowser oversight
by an hour. When she did awake she
heard a movement on the part of the
cook. and she hustled down sairs TO see
what was the matter.
No cook, No breakfast,
The girl had got up early and made
a sneak, and on the dining-room table
she left a note sticking up out of the
sugar bowl. II read:
Dear lady: l have went. If stayed
- H. - Fa
me to that kites tail to go up a mile
high and look fur roses and robins. / am
not a fly girl. / bid you a long fare
well"'
When the note was shown to Mr..
Bowser he grew purple in the face and
replied:
Il see the plot. Mrs. Bowser. ] see
that plot in all its nakedness. and some
one shall pay for it,
But"
Stop, Not a WORD o. l will commit
some desperate act.''
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01

raised strong douht b,,, when he WAS
nIac.d IN linz wi,b twelve other men
EiI,ia,,s waTksd straight nm 10 him and
"a.
lyon ,rs the man vbo entered the
store 5rst ord .sta5 mo 10 change a SEQ
hin for ,.o,, I Sb.,Id know Won IL I met
Won in china ~
"you arc maktns n serious mistake. -
renI;ed Rronn "T can nrove that I was
in Terre Hante tho night Won were as
sauIted' ;,
"you are the MANTLE man. ex-
c,aine5 the merchant ..Since hearing
vour voice 7 nouId swear 10 Won a hum
49, ,,u,a, av.r,,.
On. ~ the v;Ilay.rs WAS sbou, IN en-
,er ths stor. .s a. robbars Nod Two
~ ,har, ~ Ala NJ see hn, the tbird
wa. de.crih.d in NAV 70 At Brown.
The mar .,os n, h.rd and he also picked
Rrovn an, - a. I;ra and ala.
.srhi. ,s ~. 90 ~ Nos hacking mn,
and irving n draw his nistoI as came
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01
BOWSER'S WINTER KITE
He Uses 1t to Search For Humidity


For the nrst time In year Mr.. bowser
came home from the office the other day
at noontime, and Mrs. Bowser had only
IN g,anca NJ tho look on his face and
,h. hu,a,a rnd.r III. arr, 20 realize that
ne naa seheue Oh .., hahu
.., men, VIVA. - ~ sne Sssr r..
business penns uui'' : .noas'
an ei.ernoon gu, nc -.
ou. VIA ae -. se
'hese sucAs anu .na' pepe
m sohs 10 inaAe a UT vi an eApe''-
nient.
tnousht ~ was tline ior you 70 orean
GUY asah' iou won pe susneu uh :,
you nave oio~n up INC nouse ohu al VI
US win IL AZ ~ u,nai,.e .hiS t'ino.
my gear woman so~y ,,a
hr' bo~ser as ne oeposi.eo ms ponuie
on a chair, iet me reason Win you
DIT. isn't II petter Tor man 10 De AT
nome storing up scienune knowleoge IN
MS mind' than TO De ioanns around the
pool rooms and saloons? Hadn't you
rather see my name In print as having
made useful discovery than to have II
recorded that l was coilared by ponce
man Tor being drunk!
But what scientific knowledge are you
seeking? she asked. las TO discoveries,
you've made about a hundred In the last
two years, and almost every one OF them
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01

per cent at a height OF 100 feet. the
world of science should be informed OF
the fact"
But what good would II do IL we
Knew it?' persisted Mrs. Bowser.
Woman, 1 pity your said Mr.. Bow
ser, as he turned away. II all people
were as Indifferent as you We should
never have known about the revolutions
OF the earth. did hope for some enthu-
siasm and encouragement from you, but
II was a foolish hope. l shall go ahead.
however. The cook will make me some
paste and I will build a kite
And what's the kite for?'
ITO send up into the atmosphere, of
course. Attached to il will be this in
strument for recording the humidity.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01
He can't"

tify him he did so as promptly as on
the other occasion and added:
What's your name this time, Brown
or Black? Your lawyer was a sharp
one to drum up all those witnesses. but
think well land you this time
He was not talking to Brown. but to
Browns double-the fifth one turning
up inside of a month. but he wouldn't
admit his mistake even when Brown
wrote him from Vermont To this day
he believes that the man he first picked
out and who was acquitted was the
man who got ten years in prison when
re-arrested.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01

After I had passed buoy No. .. II was
all plain sailing. and I rang of my en-
gines and came to anchor In the ONCE of
the Secretary Of the Navy.
You don't have to send your card in
to Mr.. Daniels
He feels that he belongs to the people.
and when he isn't at home In bed he
should be approachable to everybody.
Nineteen out Of every twenty caliefs want
to sell the navy a man-of-wsr or have a
torpedo that will knock the stufnng out
of the enemy at 500 miles distance. and
all he has to do is to smile and reply:
Thanks very much. but nothing doing
today"
But, Mr.. Secretary"
See the Agricultural Department. 1t
wants some sort of explosive vegetable
that can be sent to chaps like Huerta
and Don Castro and blow their heads
OF at the dinner table. Did you bring
a model of your little man of war with
your
Mr.. Secretary, I came here to ask a
question. Your answer may change the
map Of the world"
Don't ask me IL I believe the whale
swallowed Jonah. That belongs to the
Weather Bureau six doors below"
1T was answered long ago. and in the
Affirmative and the whale would do it
again II he had the chance Mr. Secre-
tary. suppose you were a young man of
about Pep
"Shoo.'
you were in New Hampshire on
visitr'
Rather be in Vermont. where they
adulterate their mamie sugar"
ssweu saw yernon, Won ar. xisitip1
your father and mother. The school
teacher fo- that district hoard. with
them, To see her /, 10 love her
Correct"
..They have mountains In yermont Mr.
secretav"
..For sure
.arh.y arc ex.5 40 Tho, ,.,
., ,hs ton =, 90. Ter .i.s
winters evening and r,id. d. .bon,
,iy miles,
IT har. rud.d .,r-
..yan 80 a. .eho,,u. .
.,,d.,, nm o. oN' ~
"yy. d,"
.ay q. ,s 81.
I'm On each SID m narrow biehn,eu
evo "a, h;.h -
IT, les. .nn =, ,,-
wa, nIaca ,ha .cboo,n,n 81.
ed a. 80, ., -, ;. VII '''
..on ,h. hows ~ co,-..-
.Prs.sn,,, IN e r..SSS
80 -, o.. 81,
..yn, 49, ms,,,na ~ ., a. ea',i,
=, q. NJ Sa. s- %
rins 10 curI your .v.s hnIss Tha NJ,
on YOUR .tomacb f.e,s a. n Won had inst
swallowed a whole smoked ham. You
are riding az the rate OF forty mile. an
hour II means broken homes N Won
strike a saIoonr'
Gee
Or death IL YOU meet a team coming
VI the road.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01

The potatoes. cucumbers. tomatoes.
stones. and Jumps of coal were about
evenly divided between Mr.. Bowser and
the kite. Both fell at the same time, but
Mr. Bowser fell the hardest. Something
hit him on the nose as he was paying
out string. and he sat down on the roof.
Then something else hit him In the ear,
and In the excitement he rolled on.
struck on the clothes-iine and was bound
ed into a big snowbank dotted with the
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01

Also Thermometer for recording the
temperature. However. as you take no
interest In these things, II Ii useless to
waste further time explaining. Retain
your ignorance. Mrs Bowser-retain and
hug your ignorance to your soul. while
viii go ahead and make a discovery for
the benefit of the whole world"'
She had nothing more to say. and he
got his paste and made his way to the
garnet. Nothing more was seen of him
The Washington herald., 1914-06-21

and in time they sent their husbands
to me-"
But the woman who goes into this
business must be prepared TO stick Il
out for two or three years before she
realizes q comfortable return You can
not build up success In a day. The prin-
cipal thing Is to keep what patients you
get. and treat them 30 carefully and
skillfully that they will never think Of
going anywhere else. no matter how far
away they may be- II is necessary to
keep digging and digging away all the
time. and not TO let lulls in activity dis
courage one.
tractive- I am at my ONCE from 10
o'clock in the morning until o'clock
in the afternoon. but sometimes remain
until six O'Clock, at which time I devote
an hour to poor little saleswomen who
have been standing on their feet all
day and want to 90 to q dance at night.
This profession, since the passing of
the recent law regulating the practice,
is anything but overcrowded. In 1919,
when i took my degree. there were only
fifteen other master chiropodists in the
country. The remuneration IL salts
factory and amply repays one for the
many sacrifices which may be necessary
at nrst to get 9 footing, and the field
Is countrywide
Common sense and a WILLINGNESS TO
do everything attached to ones work.
gentleness OF touch and a steady deterrni-
nation to stick at the work for three
years are all that is necessary for sue
cess