South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-04-01
STATESMEN
REAL AND NEAR
BY FRED @. KELLY.

bI FfSn~D - AnSAhAs III
WASHINGTON, April Repre-
sentative William c. Adamson. chair
man of the committee on interstate
commerce that will have much to do
with the job of harrassing the trusts
at this session of congress, got most
of his education on a wagon.
In his boyhood Adamson spent
much of his time hauling cotton and
other commodities to market from
the farm. where he was brought up,
down i'm Georgia. Every time he
went TO a town, as he did once or
twice a week, he bought a book and
read ii on the way back, while the
mules guided themselves hOmeward.
The books he read in that way were
Of every kind and variety. Once he
bought Pilgrims Progress, thinking
it was a detective story. But he read
it through.
Occasionally in his speeches in the
house Adamson quotes Dickens or
Scott. And every time he does so his
recollection has to traipse clear back
to those days when he read while
trundling over the Georgia highways.
For he has had no time TO read them
since.
Adamson's experience with the pub
lie schools were not frauSht with as
much jollity and gayety as they might
have been. Every year, when he was
in the midst of so-called vulgar frac-
TONS he was Obliged to quit school
and help out on the farm. BY the
time he returned to school he had al
lowed the details OF vulgar fractions
a. HI -
to begin the battle with them all over
again. Even TO this day Adamson is
not certain whether he eyer learned
how TO handle vulgar fractions or not
One time AdamsOn found himself
accused of some heinous Offense at
school such as placing a garter snake
in the teachers desk drawer. 1t must
have been an unjust accusation be-
cause they held a trial, in which the
teacher acted as judge and jury, and
Adamson was allowed to go free for
lack of evidence.
In high glee Adamson went home
TO tell his parents of his good fortune
in demonstrating his innocence and
of the simple triumph of right and
justice over those who had sought TO
wrong him.
"Uh, HUH" grui ted Adamson's
father. you fooled The teacher, hey =?
I reckon you packed the witness box.
l don't know a thing about the Incl
dent you mention. but just from my
acquaintance with you I'd say you
were guilty. You may fool your
teacher, but you can't fool me.
sentence you TO three weeks work
in the brickyard."
And the sentence was carried out.
Secretary of War Garrison came
back from New York the other day
telling of an awful experience. He
had been obliged to go somewhere on
a surface car He boarded the car
that had been recommended TO him,
paid his fare, and was just getting
seated. when the conductor came
around for another nickel.
This is the end Of the line" the
conductor explained. We turn
around here and go back, so it's an
other fare
why didn't you tell me?" asked
Garrison. You must have known
I wouldn't wish to pay a fare TO ride
just one block"
Mister" Garrison says the con-
ductor replied, isn't il worth a nickel
TO know just where car goes?"
nat Ittnluueu harrison OF dnOtner
street car adventure. In the DAYS
when horse cars were more common
than they are now. he was in New
York trying 10 travel from one point
10 another He gave the conductor
driver a s. bill 10 change. The man
went up front and made no move 10
return.
What about my changer" asked
Garrison.
Haven't enough change" answered
the man.
Then give me back my bill. -
coaXed Garrison.
Cant do that" said the man. but
u you'll stick on till we get 10 the
barn YOU can have this horse"
''Once when I was a boy we had
some informal little boxing con-
tests" remarked Representative Frank
Park of Georgia. shortly after he en-
tered congress. Il had never fought
before according 20 rules. but this
time we had a referee and if We hit
any blows not approved by the rules
IL counted for the other fellow. I was
so ratified for fear OF violating the
rules that | didn't succeed in landing
any blows at all and the other chap
nearly Knocked my head off several
times before he had finished with me
Here in congress I feel a good deal
the same way. I don't seem able "a
figure out this parliamentary law. I m
afraid 20 speak lestfl unintentionally
hit below the belt"