davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
MAKING OR sPolLlNG SALE
Frequently Opening Expression Used
by Clerk Determines Whether Gus
toner Purchases or Not.

In a little talk 70 his salespeople
not long ago a successful merchant
said:
"One most harmful habit INDUCED
In by many salespeople Is the repeat
ing OF some meaningless term to any
visitor who comes TO the store. We
will take an expression, for illustra-
tion, that you have all heard, Some
thing for your We hear II in the
store, In the cafe, In the cafeteria, in
the city hall. We cannot get away
from II, yet everybody is tired Of hear
ing II.
This term with others, What do
you want?' Anything for you? What
is it?' Is that all?' Nothing moreT
Nothing else, is there?' You didn't
want this, did you, etc, are disgust
ing TO the customers. They mean
nothing and kill Gales rather than
get business.
THE first thing you do or say when
approaching a customer usually de-
cides whether you win be able to make
a sale or not Every day we see pro-
spective customers who have stopped
at some counter really interested in
some line of goods, when they are ac
costed with Something for your i'm
mediately lose all their interest. Yes,
there is surely something they want,
but what Is Il? On a real hot day
1t may be a cooling, refreshing drink
or what not, but then your question
did not create a desire to purchase
dry goods, nor did 1t suggest any
wants along that line.
IF salesmanship is going to be your
profession, say something that will
bring out reply in your favor, make
some positive suggestion, give some
kind of information, give some kind
of selling talk that will be educating
that will make your customer see the
benefits Of the purchase the same as
you do"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04

coffin. When the family of the de.
ceased is unable to bear the expense
of full-length coffin, a smaller square
one is used, the remains being placed
in a sitting posture. These recep'
tacles are sometimes too small to re-
ceive the remains without breaking
the limbs
In the present case, owing to the
aftluent circumstances of the deceased,
the coffin was of full length, its frail
construction in the style of a toy
Swiss cottage. The two sides were
hung with bamboo clrtains of so loose
a weave as to show plainly the out
line of the body which was that
of woman. The remains were fol
lowed by rikishas containing the
mourners and friends. On reaching
the auditorium of nearby Buddhist
temple the poles from which the cot
fin hung extended SO far into the en-
trance that it was difficult to gain
admittance. The altars in these tenn
pies occupy so much of the room that
little is left for the people. Spaces
we're assigned us on the floor at the
right, where we could sit. In front
of each one stood a tray with cigar
cites and a small brazier containing
a live coal to furnish light for tht
smoker
THE mourners we're kneeling on the
floor at the left. Just back of the al
tar enclosure stood a low stand; be
hind this sat the high priest, d
large gong at his right, and just
back of him sat two other priests with
a pair of cymbals The service con.
sisted>of prayers, repeated first by one
and then another, then all three in
unison, with occasional readings from
scrolls, all interspersed with strokes
on the gong and .clangs Of the Gym
balls. During the service the bereaved
husband passed to the front Of each
group of friends, including cur party
knelt facing each group, and bowed
to the floor. This salntation was re-
turned by all in a similar manner, as
an expression Of regret and sympathy
Toward the close of the service ar
attendant entered, bearing an armfu
Of paper boxes about the size of
pound candy box, filed with small
,akes and confections, neatly tied, I'm
Ter the string Of each box was
slip with heavy mourning border and
Japanese characters, which our guide
translated for us as follows: Many
thanks for your honorable attendance
tor the funeral of Sem, my deceased
wife, today Excuse for my expressing
hanks here instead to call at your
residence promptly. Yours respect
fully, Umesuke Saiki and relative
nineteenth day, fourth month, forty.
second year, Mail One of these boxes
was laid on the floor in front Of each
person, to be carried away by him.
During the early part of the service
those who felt disposed smoked the
cigarettes provided in the trays, and
partook of the tea, which was also
served"
The funeral described by Mr.. Chaplin
was held in Yokohama.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
TWO ls ComranY.

They strolled together along the
sands of the seashore. He was smok-
ing placidly but her eyes roved about
the deserted beach and the empty
ocean. Suddenly she stopped, threw
up her hands and turned on him.
How utterly deadly dull it is here, -
she cried. Not one single human be-
ing to hirt with. You, at least, have
me-but whom, in heavens name,
have I2'
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
The New Fable Of the Young Fellow
Who Had No Father to Guide Him.

The New Fable of the Young Fellow
Who Had No Father to Guide Him.
Once there was a Boy who had been
told twice a Day ever since he could
remember that If he started to go
into one of those Doggeries with
Swinging Doors in front and Mirrors
along the Side, a Blue Flame would
shoot out and burn him to a Cinder.
Also he had been warned that every
Playing Card in the whole Deck was
Complimentary Ticket admitting
one to a Hot Griddle in the Main Par
quette of the Fiery Furnace.
And every little Paper Cigar was
another Spike in the Burial Casket
With seven or eight Guardians trail
ing him Day and Night to keep him
away from the Lures of the Wicked
World it looked like a Pipe that he
would grow up TO be the Dean Of a
Theological Seminary.
Across the Street lived poor I'M
fortunate Lad whose Father was max
ing the futile Endeavor to take 1t
away faster than the Revenue Officers
could put Stamps on it. He was the
original Blotter.. When they were try
ing to pry him away from it he would
take chance on anything from Ar
MICA to Extract of Vanilla.
According to all the Laws of Hered-
ity the only Son was cast for the Part
of Joe Morgan.
He is now the Head of Mail-Order
House. When he sees a Corkscrew he
pulls his Hat firmly over his Ears and
runs a Mile
The Graduate of the Lecture Bureau
may be found in a Swagger Club any
evening with a Bourbon H. B. at his
Right, stack of Student Lamps at
his Left and Two Small Pair pressed
closely against his Bosom.
MORAL - The Modern Ambition
seems to be to vary the Program
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
GUESTS WARNED NOT TO TIP
Visitors at German Estates Get Au'
tosraph Notes From Hosts on
the Subject.

Berlin.-Americans who have had
experience with the large tips expect
ed by the serving gentry of fashion.
able European country houses will be
interested in a custom just adopted by
the owners Of some fine German es-
tates.
Guests from the United States who
we're recently entertained in these es-
adjustments expected to be held up
on the same basis as that prevailing
at English country houses at week
end parties.
The guests, however, had no sooner
entered their rooms than they found
lying before them on the dressing
table an engraved notice, with a fac
simile of the autographs of host and
hostess, earnestly beseeching "our
welcome guests under no circrm-
stances to distribute gratuities to
servants, either during your visj'
on your departure"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
Stable Bow Named Horse.

Commenting On the curious names
often given to racehorses, a writer in
q London daily recalled the historic
case of Potoooooooo. The earl Of Eg-
remont had a horse he intended to
call Potatoes, and in going round the
stable one evening he gave the stable
boy in charge of the horse a piece Of
chalk, and told him to write the name
On the corn bin. The boy wrote Pot
and then, evidently in some doubt as
TO the correct spelling, finished the
word by repeating the letter 20" eight
times. This so amused Lord Eyre
mont and his friends that the horse
was. so named forthwith
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04

ture was that of the Room, in com
pliance with the Dictates of Fashion
Those who partook of the Hemlock
were given Courage to battle with the
Oysters. These came in Sextettes,
wearing a slight ptomaine pallor. On
the goth Proximo they had said good
bye to their Friends in Baltimore and
for Hours they had been lying naked
and choked with thirst in their little
Canoes and now they were to enter the
great Unknown, further sacrifices to
the Votaries of Pleasure.
Luckily the Consomme was not hot
enough to scald the Thumbs of the
jovial Stevedores who had been brought
In as Extras, so the Feast proceeded
merrily, many of the Participants de-
voting their spare Moments to bobbing
for Olives or pulling the Twine out of
the Celery.
The Fish had French name, hav-
ing been in the Cold Storage Bastile
for SO long Each Portion wore heavy
Suit Of Armor, was surrounded by Lii
brary Paste and served as a Tee for
two Golf Balls billed as Pommes de
Terre.
It was a regular Banquet, so there
was no getting away from Filet de
Biff aux Champignons. 1t was brought
on merely to show what an American
Cook with a Lumber-Camp Training
could do to plain slice Of Steer after
reading a Book written by Chef.
Next, in accordance with honored
IlTradition, half-melted SNOWFALL i'm
spregnated with Eau de Quinine,
Just about the time that the White
Vinegar gave way to the Aniline Dye,
ID nut-headed Swozzie, who could get
BInto Matteawan without Credentials,
moved down the Line of Distinguished
Guests asking for Autographs. His
Example was followed by $50 other
Shropshires, so that for the next 30
Minutes the Festal Chamber resembled
the Auditing Department Of large
Mercantile Establishment
During this Period the Department
OF Geology in the University was hon
ored by the appearance Of genuine
petrified Quail. And the Head Lettuce
carried the Personal Guarantee Of the
Goodyear Rubber Co.
Between the Rainbow Ice Cream and
The Calcnreoas Fromage. q member cf
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
WAS WAITING FOR REAL HEAT
A. 1f4 In the Shade, Farmer Didn'i
See Necessity for Shortening
Hours o. Labor In the Field.

A ST. Louislan who responded 10 the
Macedonian cry for help from the
Kansas wheat fields tells this story:
THE farmer told us we were %
work ten hours a day, but that when
II got hot he would knock OFF an hour
One day after we had been out in the
blazing sun until we we're painting for
breath, we came IN 20 dinner TO find
the mercury up TO ll4. We though
the farmer would say something abou'
short hours that afternoon, but he
didn't. AS we started out to work !
said 70 him;
Zone hundred and fourteen in the
shade!'
Yes, he answered DO you feel
II muchT
"'No, ] said ! don't mind It par
ticularly; but when does it get hot out
here?"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
No Tolls on Wireless Messages.

Hiram Percy Maxim, Jr., son of Sir
Hiram Maxim and the inventor Of
the rife silencer, has been devoting
his spare moments for the last year
to wireless telegraphy and has an
nounced that his Hartford Radio Club
has formed nationwide organization
for the free transmission of wireless
messages, provided, of course, no un-
forseen difficulty arises, such as fed.
eral investigation and interference on
some interstate commerce techal.
cality
with all the amateur stations
dotted all over the country" Mr..
Maxim said, anyone may communi-
cate with a friend at distant point
without the assistance of big cor
poration or the federal governments
mail service"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04

cording to directions on the bottle and
she is cured Of this trouble. She was
all run down when she started taking
the Compound and her periods did not
come right. She was so poorly and
weak that / often had to help her dress
herself, but now she is regular and Is
growing strong and healthy. - Mrs.
MARTIN HELWG, Plover, Iowa.
Hundreds of such letters expressing
gratitude for the good Lydia Z. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound has accom-
plished are constantly being received,
proving the reliability Of this grand old
remedy.
If you are i'll do not drag along and
continue to suffer day in and day out but
at once take Lydia E. Pinkham' Vege-
table Compound, a wonan's remedy for
woman's ills.
II you want special advice write to
Lydia f. Pinkham Medicine Co. (cOnfis
dentiaI) Lynn, Mass. Your letter viii
be opened, read and answered by a
woman ard held in strict confidence
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04

the class Of '0s who could not Sing
arose and did so.
Then each guest had to take
Tablespoonful of Cafe Noir and two
Cigars selected by Farmer Student
who had promised his Mother never to
use Tobacco.
It was now after 10 o'clock and time
to go Home. Those who had started
to tune up along In the Afternoon were
dying on the Vine, Others, who had
tried to catch even on the SO Ticket,
felt as II they had been loaded with
Pig Iron. Up at the Long Table enough
Speakers to supply Chautauqua Cir
cult we're feeling of themselves to
make sure that the Manuscript had not
been lost, Each thought that he was
the Orator of the Evening.
The Committee had put on the Toast
Program every one who might pos.
sibly take Offense at not being Asked.
Also they had selected as Toast
master a beaming Broncho whose Vo
cal Chords were made of seasoned
Moose-Hide and who remembered all
the black-face Gravy that Billy Rice
used to shoot across at Lew Benedict
when Niblo's Garden was first opened
After every commute Address he
would spend ten minutes in polite kid.
ding Of the Last Speaker and then an.
other, 10 Minutes in climbing q Noun
tain Height from which to present the
Next Speaker.
Along about Midnight the Cowards
and Cutters began crawling out of
Side Doors, but most of the Loyal Sons
Of Old Bohunkus propped themselves
up and tried to be Game.
Before l o'clock a Member of the.
Faculty put them on the Ropes with
40 Minutes on projected Changes in
the Curriculum.
At 1880 the Toastmaster was making
Speech No. and getting ready to
spring the Oldest Living Graduate.
Protected by all the Gray Hairs that
was left to him he began to Reminisce,
going back to the Days when it was
considered a Great Lark to put Cow
in the Chapel.
The Toastmaster arrived home at 3
a. IN. and aroused his Wife to tell her
it had been a Great Success.
MORAL-If they were paid So
Head to stand for it, no one would at.
tend.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04

The New Fable Of the Night Given
over 20 Careless Revelry.
Al those who had Done Time at a
certain endowed Institution for sha-
ping and polishing Highbrows had to
close In once a Year for a Banquet,
They called II a Banquet Because II
would have been a Joke to call it a
Dinner
Tho Invitations looked like real
Type-Writing and called upon all Loyal
Sons OF Old Bohunkus TO dig up 3
Sesterces and get ready for a Big
Night
To insure a Riot of spontaneous
Gaiety the following Organization was
effected:
Committee on Invitation.
Committee on Reception.
Committee on Lights and Music.
Committee on Speakers.
Committee on Decorations.
Committee on Police protection.
Committee on First Aid to Injured.
Committee on Maynew.
Committee on Liquid Nourishment.
Each Committee held numerous
Meetings, at the Call of the Chairman.
and discussed the impending Festivi-
ties with that solemn regard for pifling
Detail which marked the Peace Con-
ference at the Hague.
The Frolic was to be perpetrated at
Hotel famous for the number of Elec-
trio Lights.
The Hour was to be $3.50 Sharp, so
that by GAS four old Grads, with va
riegated Belshazzars, were massed to-
gether in the Egyptian Room trying to
fix the Date on which DR.. Milos Lobs-
luosset became Emeritus Professor of
Saracenic Phlobotomy.
Along about 1880 a Subcommittee
wearing Satin Badges was sent down
stairs to round up some recent Alumni
whC we're trying to get running
Start and 7:45 a second DetIShment
was sent out to find the Rescue Party.
Finally at o'clock the glad Throng
moved into the Main Banquet Hall,
which was a snug Apartment about the
size of the Mammoth Cave OF Ken
lucky, done in Gold and various shades
Of Pink, to approximate the Chamber
maids Dream of Paradise. The Style
. Of Ornamentation was that which pre-
cipitated the French Revolution.
Beside each Plate was blonde De-
coction named in honor of the Martini
Rife, which is guaranteed to kill at a
Distance OF 1000 Yards. The COM
pounding had been done in a Churn
early that morning and the Tempera-
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
crateful for the Assistance.

A burglar, in the act of breaking
open a safe, was greatly astonished,
on raising his head, to see a man in
tently watching his proceedings. He
tried to escape, but the man stopped
him, saying:
Go on, my friend. l am deeply in
terested in your work"
How so?' the thief inquired in great
surprise.
Because I have lost the key to this
safe; and if you manage to open it YOU
shall be handsomely rewarded for your
trouble"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
Swapping It Back.

"Bruddren and sistas," severely said
good old Parson Bagster, glaring
ominiously at his congregation mo
dan one pusson widin de sound O. muh
voice pay 80 cents to go to de circus
tomor' dat wouldn't. dig up a single
dime to hep out de revival dat, as de
yumble instrument in de hands o. de
Lawd, l was conductin' last week."
We'll, sab" replied Jim Dinger, the
gambling man, who seemed to think
the ministerial gaze was directed at
him, de revival had only one clown,
whilst de circuq advises twenty
Puck.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
JAPANESE FUNERAL
Oddities OF Jap Burial Ceremo-
nieS Are Described.
William w. Chaplin, Who Has ENten
slvely Explored Far East Tells
Story to National Geographic
Society at Washington.

Washington, D. C.-The oddities Of
u Japanese funeral are described in a
communication to the National Geo.
graphic society at Washington, d. c.,
by William w. Chaplin, who has ex-
tensively explored the far East,
First came four men, each carry.
ing a fimsy, artificial tree, about three
feet long. representing the lotus
plant in bloom,' he writes These
were followed by eight coolies bear
ing on their shoulders two poles about
IS feet long, from which hung the
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
EUGENE VISITS FORMER HOME
Former French Empress at Fontalne.
bleau Recalls the Scenes Of Her
Former Trlumphs.

Paris.-Among the many memories
enshrined in the Chateau Of Fountaine-
bleau, the historic home OF so many
French sovereigns near Paris, none
can be found more moving than the
simple story of the visit lately paid
to the palace by the Empress Eugenie.
Accompanied by one Of her LIeces and
two members of her suite, the EN-.
press was conducted over the apart
ments of the palace, every one Of
which, even to the foreigner, forms a
chapter in the history Of France and
Of her kings For the empress each
step taken conjured up visions of a
past in which she herself played the
leading part.
AS she looked round the famous
apartments of Louis XIII, she ex-
claimed in a voice broken with emo
tion, There is my casket" and point
ed to casket which. as the curator
reminded her, is said to have be-
longed to Anne of Austria The en-
press assented, but explained that Ma
poleon III had given it to her as a
wedding present, filled with gloves and
fans.
In the Sale des Gardes the empress
recognized the dining room for inti-
mate occasions. The view from Nine.
de Maintenon's apartments out upon
the gardens laid out by lie Notre next
caught the empress eye, and, with a
wistful look, she said: How beautiful
they are"
A few steps further, her gaze fell and
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
Mhv Lines Are Rusv.

''Why didn't you answer me when
I called up today?"
Il couldn't Mary, tho second girl,
was using the phone. Her young man
works in a livery stable and when he's
cleaning a horse she has to wait quite
a while before he can come to the
phone"
She didn't talk forever, did she?
You knew I wanted to reach you.
Why didn't you call me when Mary
got through"
Il couldn't. Della, the cook, was
lext."
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
MAN ROWS 500 MILES IN VAIN
Yukon Merchant, Who Made the Trip
to Have His Legs Amputated,
Dies,

Fairbanks, William Moore,
4 Fort Yukon merchant, who made a
500-mile trip in rowboat from the
Porcupine river to Fort Gibbon to
have his legs amputated, died the
other day.
Moore's legs were crushed when an
engine he was repairing on small
steamer on the Porcupine suddenly
started. The trip to Fort Gibbon took
ten days. The post surgeon ampu-
tated the limbs.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
Autograph Hunters ingenuity.

No autograph hunter ever displayed
greater ingenuity and knowledge Of
human nature than the Newcastle
lEng0 man, who, in the sos, wrote
20 number of famous men intimating
4 desire to give their illustrious names
% vessels he was building Sentimen-
al replies with the coveted auto
graphs poured in, and even Carlyle
vas moved to write hoping that the
.Tessel would sail in larger and deeper
waters than had ever been reached by
he man whose name it bore"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
No Chance for the Real Thing.

NO OIIdIILC IUI NTII INVNT I'IIT5'
The young man brought some verses
to his father.
Father, have written poems"
What! Let me see them instantly"
The father read them over carefully,
the tears slowly yelling to. his eyes as
he did so.
Finishing the last one he threw
down the manuscript, folded the boy
to his breast and sobbed:
"Oh, my poor, poor son!"
Are they SO bad as that, father"
Bad! They are excellent. They
are real poetry, My boy, my boy,
you will starve to DEATH"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
His Instrumentation of Art.

When Shimmerpate gave his little
son, Sammie, drawing book the lat
ter gazed intently at the picture of
arms, legs, feet and heads on one Of
the pages.
What do you think of it, son?''
queried Shimmerpate.
1T must have been an awful explo-
sion," replied Sammie.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
Surprise for Both.

A lady, returning home unexpected
ly, found her domestic using the draw.
ing room for the purpose Of giving a
select party to her friends. Ann,
am surprised" she calculated.
$50 am /, ma'am," replied the un
abashed girl. Il thought you wouldn't
be back for a fortnight.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
pon,n Suicide After BASQUE.

What was apparently a determined
attempt at suicide by an Airedale ter
rier was witnessed by large number
0f visitors at Bray, County Dublin.
The animal jumped off the north
pier Of the harbor into the sea and
was sinking when some fishermen res
sued it.
When they let it go the terrier made
\ dash for the other pier, jumped into
the sea, and was drowned.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04
Great ADVANTAGES.

why are you SO anxious to have
this man made director in The com
pany? Has he any special financial
ability?"
No, but he'd make splendid wit
ness in an investigation OF our truns.
actions. He's deaf and dumb
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04

Saw chicken hawk in fight, which
suggests the motion cf a motorcar.
No Tapping, no soaring, but a series
of quick, explosive beats Of the wings,
each sending the bird forward in a
leap of several yards. The flicker
gives FIVE strokes, then jump-From
"a Farmers Notebook"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-09-04

weakness. ! spoke
to three doctors
about it and they did
not b elp her any.
Lydia Z. Pinkham' g
V egetRble Com
pound had been Of
great benefit to me,
so ] decided 10 have
her give it a trial.
She has taken FIVE
bottles Of the Vege-
table COMPOUND ac-