The Ordway new era., 1914-04-17

Deauty was gone, tOr q uoHb . claWs
make deep cuts, and 1t was many a
day before she was able to leave the
hospital. You can see that have rea-
son to be confident OF the accuracy Of
the predictions of my weather bureau.
for II there had been no thunderstorm
brewing might have developed q sem
sational lion act"
"Or II Leottn had understood Eng
lish." commented the press agent. as
he beckoned to the waiter. "Of course,
1t Is sometimes an advantage to have
performers who can't converse with
the audience, but 1t Is mighty incon-
venient II they can't understand the
orders of the boss. l lost the chance
OF making a lot of money once.
because a squaw who was working for
US couldn't understand the white
mans lingo. A guy named Merritt
and myself were disappointed about
getting q concession for a snake show
at the Lewis and Clark exposition,
and we found ourselves broke in ST.
Louis, which is separated from the
Bowery by about 1000 miles Of very
tough walking when you haven't got
the price OF a railway ticket. Merritt
was mad clean through at being
thrown down by the exposition mana
gers, but he was an inventive genius
and knew that he would figure out
way to raise the price of transporta-
tion.
"'Jim,' says he as we counted up
our available assets and found that
they were pretty well along toward
a minus quantity. 1t makes me dead
sore to be turned down this way with
out getting a run for our money, and
it's up to us to increase our capital
and incidentally give the bunch that
done us dirt the double cross. Get
your think tank working and see what
1t will produce. / couldn't see a way
out, but when a squaw from the Rose
bud reservation. who was selling trail
ing arbutus. came up to us and offered
US a nosegay, Merritt gives whoop
and claps me on the shoulder.
".Jim,' says he. I've got 1t and
we'll make our everlasting fortunes!
He commenced to question the squaw.
but all the English she knew was ten
cent bunch and he didn't make
much headway until a big buck Injun
who had been watching her from cross
the street came over and butted In.
1t appeared that he was her husband.
and when Merritt stated his proposi.
tion the buck accepted the terms with.
out the formality of consulting the
squaw. When the exposition opened
we had a big tent on an open lot
across from the main entrance. with
a lifesized picture of The Marvellous
Mermaid as big as house. As ]
remarked, Merritt was an inventive
genius and he had worked up scheme
to deceive the conflding public. He
had provided a platform and carefully
cut out hole SO that the squaw could
stand on the ground and the edges OF
the hole fitted snugly about her waist.
He made her lean forward and rest
her chin in her hands In the conven
tionally accepted mermaid position,
and then be fitted a fish tail which lay
along the top Of the platform. and II
was SO skilfully Joined to her that II
looked as II 1t grew there. She was o
good looking squaw and she certainly
played her part and made an inter
esting picture.
"Of course, he couldn't explain to
her what he wanted her to do but he
would tell the buck. who would care.
fully translate and Impress the instruc
tons upon her memory with the aid
of a bale stick. The thing which he
put most stress upon was that she was
to remain absolutely still, no matter
what happened. I sold the tickets and
put up the spiel on the front, and Mer.
ritt lectured inside and we did land.
office basipess. One afternoon we
were playing to a record house and
Merritt was doing himself proud on
his lecture.
Ladies and gentlemen says he,
I have the honor to present to this
intelligent audience q creature which
is commonly, but enormously, sup
posed to be extinct at the present day;
but you have before you q living and
convincing proof that mermaids still
exist. l confess that until l was able
to obtain this unique specimen. which
was captured while basking in the sun
and singing love song upon an Ice
berg in the Antarctic ocean, shared
the opinions of my fellow scientists |
that the mermaid was fabulous OF
extinct creature; for during a lifetime |
devoted to exhibiting the mysterious
marvels of nature to the American
public it had never been my good for.
tune to acquire one. You will OBJ
serve that she is half woman and half
fish, and she is perfectly helpless when
out of the water. She is unfortunate
ly unable to express herself in any |
known tongue; in fact. she has never
uttered sound since her capture and
we fear that she has lost her voice. |
which Just then he was interrupt |
ed by howl of terror from the plat
form, which was followed by a roar |
of laughter from the audience, and |
when he turned he saw the squaw |
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