South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-06-16
STATESMEN
REAL AND NEAR
BY FRED G. KELLY.
nv ERRED G. KELLY.

WASHINGTON, June 16.-Col
George w Gcethals, the Panama
canal chief, works on schedule, al
most down to the second. Visitors
Goethals find that they must reach
the train or the boat right on the
dot or else they get left. This hit
ting the schedule extends even TO
receptions and teas. Wives of MEM
bers of congress who go down to the
canal are told, for example:
1.-The boat goes in % minutes. This
reception will last just "a minutes
leaving one minute to step over TO
the boat"
And if they tarry over the good
bvs. they simply get left out of the
picture.
Gradually it has been instilled in
to the minds of congressional visit
ors that there is no bluff about
Cocktails rule of punctuality. They
have fallen into the habit of figuring
exactly how much time is needed to
dress, eat, and move from one place
TO another
When the appropriation commit
tees was on a trip Of inspection to
the canal some time ago. Chairman
Fitzgerald came in from hot dusty
tramp one morning. with a great
hunger. He had to eat rapidly, for
it was the day they were to visit the
Pacific end of the canal and he had
barely time TO catch the train. More
over he did not catch the train. The
committee was obliged TO proceed on
its way chairmanless.
on their return they asked Fitz-
gerald how it happened.
II had my watch in my hand, he
said, and allowed myself plenty of
time TO keep on our schedule. But
/ forgot and took two more swallows
of coffee than I had figured on. That
upset my whole calculations"
&. f. Keith, the vaudeville mag
nate, who died a little while ago. was
peculiar genius. He could ask un-
expected questions at unexpected
times and places. Then on the other
hand. he could maintain a steady
and uninterrupted silence for hours
at &. time. when the average person
would have talked.
For example, Keith went to Cleve-
land one time to have a conference
with the manager of his theaters
there. The two spent several hours
together and apparently all pending
business matters were disposed of.
Keith left his manager about 9
o'clock in the evening 10 go TO his
hotel for a needed rest Along about
o'clock in the morning the local
manager was aroused from a sound
sleep by word that Mr.. Keith desired
TO see him Immediately. Thinking
that Keith must have heard of a
chance to lease another theater at a
bargain, and had to act quickly. the
manager hastily dressed himself and
rushed over TO the hotel He found
Keith sitting quietly in the lobby.
"Oh, here you are was Keith's
greeting do you know. as I've
been sitting here I've been wonder
ing how many vessels of various
kinds there are on the Great Lakes.
1t Just occurred to me that you
might know"
The next day-Or rather toward
noon of the same day-Keith ap-
peared at his managers office and re-
marked that he would like 10 have a
look at the Garfield mem orial AS
the monument is out some six miles
from the business center. the man
ager arranged TO have newspaper
friend, who happened TO DC in the
office. make the trip with Keith-so
that he would have somebody to
talk TO. At eith's suggestion, they
made the trip in horse-drawn
vehicle instead of in an auto, and
they were considerably more than an
hour getting to the monument.
Throughout that time Keith never ut
tered so much as a monosylla BILE.
The newspaperman determined shat
he would let Keith say the first word,
just 10 see how long il would be.
When they got TO the monument
Keith stepped out and went for an
inspection Of the place that lasted
/ three-quarters of an hour. His COM
I panion remained in the carriage. On
I his return TO the vehicle, Keith car
ried in his hand a little package OF
/ souvenir postcards he had bought.
\ Still he uttered no sound. And dur
/ ing the whole trip back TO town
neither man broke the silence.
! AS the rig drew up in front Of the
! hotel where Keith was staying, the
vaudeville man at last ventured a re-
mark, the first either had ventured in
I nearly four hours. He held the lit
\ tie package OF postcards toward his
companion and said. with solemnity:
IT thought you might care fol-
Y these"
Rep. William T.. Calder OF Brook
/ lyn. received a call the other day
from a man in his district who agreed