The Alaska citizen., 1914-08-03

Tom And Attorney Tom Marquam His New has new automobile Automobile that. owing 10 its new
 ness. is difficult to crank. and this is causing him to develop muscle like a prize-fight- CT But the otler day MT Marquam was the victim of humorous mis- take that made him work so hard that he was threatened with the necessity of having to take to his bed for time.
 MT. Marquam had invited some of his friends to take ride with Jim in the new machine. and after riding awhile tEey stopped presum- ably for some member of the crowd to go into the Horseshoe saloon Con business. of course), for few min utes When the guest returned, Mr MarQuam climbed out of the ma chine and started 10 crank it. while his passengers waited in their seats.
 Tom worked awhile without re suits Then. when the precipitation began to flow freely, he took off his coat and went at il again, but still the machine refused to move, Then Tom rested for awhile. and tried it once more. with the same result
 By this time. I am told Tom said some things that would not look well if published in Sunday-school pa per But he took another rest. and with renewed vigor made another start When the machine still re fused to move Tom began to look around for an axe with which to demolish the auto. As he passed ticed that one of his passengers had innocently placed his foot on the clutch. and he knew that this prevented the machine from startine Of course. the foot was promptly re moved and with but little effort t!-e machine was started
 Tom continues to take his friends out for automobile rides, but eX- perience has taught him two things First. he sees that nobody keeps his foot on the clutch while the machine is being cranked and sec pnd, Tom invites only strong men to ride, who can be made serviceable in the matter of starting the ma chine when it takes a notion not to crank easily.
 War Here is good story Story told to me a few days Told ago by a Fairbanks man
 who was nearing man l ood when the Civil war broke out The story was related at that time in the papers. and was supposed to be a true incident.
 There were some new recruits sent to the front who were deeply impressed with the necessity of hay ing to stand still while at "atten- tion."
 One day a young lieutenant who was trying to be exceedingly digni- fled stopped before one of the new men and looked at him for mo ment quite severely.
 How dare you, sir" he demand officer?"
 II beg your pardon, sir" was the reply, but I was not making faces at you. l was just twitching my nose, for it itches and cant raise my hand to scratch it."
 1t Was Any kind of a physical Not A defect must be more or Wink less of an embarrass-
 ment, but it seems that the most humiliatng failing people can have is nervous affliction of the eyes which causes them to ap pear to be winking occasionally This was impressed on me few days ago when local man told me a true incident concerning a recent application made by young woman who wants to get employment in this city.
 As everybody knows, there are hundreds of people on the Outside who are anxious to come to Fair banks since the railroad was auth oriZed Among the letters received by local man asking for employ ment was one from a young woman.