The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1914-10-08
An Up to Date
Matrimonial Method
By OSCAR COX

What h it," asked her friend. Clara
Beall.
IF that isn't the most monumental
piece Of impudence l ever heard Of
Tell me what it is"
"You know that red headed, freckled,
loose jointed ALT Woodbridge"
Yes"
We'll. he's sent me Il printed circu-
lar stating that he's in the market for
wife. He says he's up for competi-
ton, a prize. Just think Of it! He'll
marry the girl who passes the best ex-
animation In those things that are req
uisite In wife"
do you mean to say that he has had
the assurance to do such a thingT
Il do"
He hasn't sent me one of his circu
lars If he did I'd send it right back
to him.
, Hin! Better wait till you get one
Of 'em. He says that only a few Of
the most desirable young ladies Of the
town will be invited to compete"
"Worse and worse. wonder that
be hasn't died Of conceit before this"
"Conceited persons never die Of that
| disease: they seem to thrive on it."
"Of course you won't take any no
tice of his circular"
Certainly not. but there's one thing
| I'd like to know-that Is, if any Of
! the girls so demeans herself as to fall
| in with his idea, which one OF them
will get the
Prize. Just think of that fellow
| Offering himself as a priZev'
"I'll tell you what ! have a mind
to do
WHAT"
1--WE a mind to fill in his questions
just TO see what comes of it"
Cant you find that out without
| pandering to his silly conceit?'
mo; he says that no information will
be given any girl who has not been
invited to compete and does not enter
the race"
"Race-oh heavens. Don't you know
| that the girl who wins will let it be
known even if she submits to the in
dignity for fun or to punish him."
well. I'm going to pretend to be a
| candidate, and If | win | shall just tell
! him what l think of him."
That's good idea. l believe III
| do so too"
| There were a dozen eligible girls in
the town, and six received the circular.
The six who were left out were furi-
Gus. Every one of them pronounced
| Woodbridge's impudence unbearable.
/ The six who were invited seemed to
have various opinions Of Woodbridge's
act. Some considered it objectionable
some pronounced it very funny, and
one or two girls with advanced views
considered it very practical way of
getting a wife. They said they had a
mind to select husbands In the same
way.
| One morning Mr.. Woodbridge was
surprised at receiving through the mail
a note inclosing list Of printed ques-
tons filed in in writing. The note
said that the sender considered his
competitive examination for a wife
perfectly brutal" but that under
meath it all was basis Of common
| sense
"Ill cOwhide those fellows" remark
ed Mr.. Woodbridge. red as a beet. Il
didn't suppose when they threatened
to perpetrate that joke OH me that they
would have the hardihood to do it,
The next morning Woodbridge re
ceived another set Of examination pa
pers and set in the afternoon. Each
girl who responded had an especial ex
cuse for doing so.
| This is getting interesting" remark
ed Woodbridge to himself What ex.
cellent reason these girls have for com
peting! After all. what's wrong in the
!dea? Marriages are made in all sorts
| Of ways. Why not by competitive ex
animation? In this age of marriages
experimental marriages. in which both
husband and wife are to he boss. mar
riages without ceremony and marriage.
till the contracting PARTIES are tired OF
each other, why not go II step Further
and have marriages on examination:
In the last set Of examination ia
pers Mr.. Woodbridge received all tn.
questions were scratched and new ones
inserted. The new ones were so word
ed as to constitute II virtual rXamina
ton Of the man The lady inrloSed
the paper in note stating that Sh,
considered the plan admirable. but the
questions were all wrou. II Mr.
! Woodbridge considered his pxamina
ton satisfactory she would he happy
TO marry him at once She had Il hrand
new idea of the marriage ceremony
The couple were 10 be photographed
standing beside each other holding
hands. She objected to anything brin.
said on the occasion since matrimonial
promises. all the world knew. did not
mean anything
Woodbridge burst into laugh al
this form Of marriage. He wrote d
reply to each one of the young ladies
who had sent in papers stating thai
there had been a reaction toward mod
esty In him. He would do bit OF
counting with the winner. and If she
accepted him the result of the exami
patton would be known by the an
nOuncement OF MS enSaSeWent VIII
her.
This set the girls agog till one day II
was announced that Alfred Wood
bridge was engaged to he married T.,
Miss Kate Goodwin.
Woodbridge gave his friends who had
perpetrated the joke upon him sup
per as an acknowledgment Of his graft
tude for being instrumental In his Sc
curing SO much happiness.