davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
The Dam Bill.

It was a legislative field day in tho
house, and a call for a quorum had
been sent forth. YEARLY the mem
bers dragged themselves forth from
the cool house Offices into the heat OF
q summer day. And as one congress-
man greeted another. the question, rs
the dam bill up!' was overheard by .
rather prim and earnest visitor, who
went on, Mortified at such profanity,
only to hear another group inquire: rs
the dam bill up" Hurrying on to-
ward the once building. still q third
time her ears were assailed with the
undignifed Query-"Is the dam bill
up?"
"Well, I never" said the good lady.
shaking her hussar plumes viciously.
II never heard such profane congress
men. The changeable weather has
worked on their ternpers sure enough
for every congressman I meet has
been inquiring about that dam BILL
and the thought Of 1t so impressed It
self on my mind that I almost feel like
saying that dreadful word myself fol
the sake of relief affairs at Wash
inyton," by Joe Mitchell Chapel, II
National Magazine.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
SHORT AND SIMPLE GOOD YS
German Farmers Farewell to Only
Son and to His Horae Was That
Of Patriot.

Going to war in the case Of at least
one of the b%elligerents was a very
simple thing. And here is the proof
Of it compactly presented by Fritz
Muller: "Gaffer Breitenmoser had one
son and n horse. Yesterday they
came and took away his o for the
war. The good.bys were said at the
gate. They were confoundedly short
good-bys. CATER Breitenmoser wasted
no words. He clapped his son on
the shoulder. Do your duty he
said-no more. And his son was
even a trife shorter about it. He
said nothing at all. He simply looked
at his father. But what q look! And
then he swung of at a trot and was
gone.
"That was yesterday. Today they
came and fetched away CATER Bret.
tenmoser's horse-for the war. The
parting again was at the gate. And
it was confoundedly short. CATER
Breitenmoser wasted no words. He
clapped his horse on the shoulder.
DO your duty said he-no more
And the horse was a trife shorter
about 1t still. He merely looked al
CATER Breitenmoser. And then he
swung of at a trot and was gone."-
New York Evening Post.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
FINE RASH ON BABY's BODY

1341 Parkwood Pl., N. W., Washing
ton, D. C.-"When my babe was about
two weeks old l noticed a scurf on her
scalp which gradually grew worse. II
started with a fine rash over head and
body and made her very restless at
night. The rash left the thick scurf
ON her head. We used -, 7,
and other remedies recommended by
friends, but nothing seemed to do any
good.
"This continued until she was three
months old and by that time it formed
sort of a crust, so that her scalp never
looked clean. Nothing helped until
we used the Cuticura Soap to battle
her and Cuticura Ointment to anoint
her. They acted like magic, clearing
the scalp entirely. The trouble dis
appeared" (Signed) Mrs. H. L. An
derson, Mar. 20, 1914.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample OF eacn
free, with 32.p. Skin Book. Address post
card "Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston. '-Adv'
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
That's Goat.

I'VE don't know what we are eating
nowadays" said the Harlem woman
Dlaintiyely. Last Saturday was III
INV butchers getting the Sunday roast
and the woman who sat beside me
was buying lamb chops-delicious, ten
derlooking ones-at only 16 cents a
pound. Now, my husband never eats
lamb. and | never buy it in conse-
quence: but l know that that was an
unheard of price for such chops as
those. After the woman had departed
I said to the mar who was serving me:
"How on earth can you afford to sell
lamb chops at 16 cents a pound? l
suppose il / had been a customer VINO
frequently invested in lamb l might
still be in ignorance of the truth; out
as the butcher knew never bought
that variety Of meat he was frank
about it. That isn't lamb ne said
That's goat!'"
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
COUNT VICTORY FOR MARIA
Mr.. JoIIyboy's Better Half Met n"
Intended Humor With Overwhe'm'
ina Counter-Stroke.

'Maria!" said Mr.. Jolliboy, very
solemnly, thinking to take a rise out
of the wife of his bosom. i heard
OF a dreadful operation which was
undergone by a girl. She seemed IN
danger of losing her sight, and the
clever ophthalmic surgeon who oper'
ated on her found"
"Yes!" breathlessly interposed MRS.
Jollyboy; found WHAT"
THAT the poor girl had a young
man in her eye!" rejoined hubby, with
a chuckle.
Silence reigned supreme for the
space of five minutes, at the n OF
which time Mrs. Jollyboy sand, qu''
city:
"Well, of course, it would all de-
pend on what kind Of a young man 1t
was, as there are many men she woulo
have been able to see through" And,
with a serene smile, Mrs. J.. resumed
her knitting, leaving the enemy com
pleted routed.-London Answers.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07

Calomel makes you sick; you lose a
DAVIS work. Calomel Is quicksilver
and it s~alivates; calomel Injuries your
liver.
If you are bilious, feel lazy, sluggish
and all knocked out, If your bowels
are constipated and your head aches
or stomach is sour. just take a spoon
full of harmless Dodson's Liver Tone
instead Of using sickening, salivating
calomel. Dodson's Liver Tone is real
liver medicine. You'll know 1t next
morning because you will wake up
feeling fine, your liver will be work
ing, your headache and dizziness gone,
your stomach will be sweet and your
bowels regular. You will feel like
working. You'll be cheerful; full OF
vigor and ambition.
Your druggist or dealer sells you a
5O.cent bottle of Dodson's Liver Tone
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
TAX. the Blood Out and Wash it.

akS INC 0iOVV WV o"S 49,
Drs. v. A. Urevitch and N. X.
Rosenberg have discovered q way 10
take the blood out Of the body, WASH
It and put It back again. In the
Roussky Vraitch the describe their e.
periments upon animals. The Idea.
Of course, is to rid the blood OF pol
sonous substances. They found they
could remove half the blood, prevent
its coagulation by adding sodium cit.
rate, wash It with salt solution and
return the purified red corpuscles into
the circulation. It was not necessary
to return the white c%orpuscles.
The New York Medical Journal re-
marks that this, taken together With
the transportation Of organs and the
growth Of tissues outside the body.
forms an entirely new chapter In
experimental medicine. Who can tell
what the future has in store for us!"
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
Greater Democracy.

The one bright aspect of this man
made war is that out of it, no matter
who wins, is bound to come an IN
to all the countries concerned
and affected, Of practical democracy
including the public participation OF
women in social and political progress.
In spite of the huge proportions OF
this war, men are less subject than
they used to be to what Mrs. Chap
man Gait aptly calls their form OF hys'
terra. But in the matter Of bullying
and bowwowing men are still fools.
And it is up to the women OF the
world to defeat bullets with ballots.
When women turn from their gentle
hysteria of %helplessness to a grave,
brave assertion of their human re-
sponsibility, men will be glad to turn
from their more hideous hysteria and
become sane. 1t is the mightiest and
most magnificent opportunity in the
history of the world. And l have
faith that the women are ready
Woman's Journal.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
TO F0REG0 REVENGE
SIanderer Certainly Deserved Punish
ment, but Rival Naturally Hesl'
tated to lnfiict It.

He walked up and down the room,
g~esticulating excitedly, and saying uh'
complimentary things about his rival
1T is terrible" he said.
What is terrible?" they asked.
"Talk about the problem OF the
Man In the Iron Mask" he exclaimed
ignoring the question. why, this IL
a thousand times worse than that"
What Is IT." they asked.
my rival has been carrying false
stories about me to the girl l love!"
he cried.
And what did you do?" they asked.
Nothing" he answered. Il was
powerless.
They laughed scornfully and made
jests at his expense.
what would you advise me to dor
he inquired.
Kill him." they replied.
He shook his head.
AT least" they insisted, you could
thrash him within an inch Of his life;
YOU could resent an insult by pound
ing him until he would figure prtn
cipally as a nonentity for the nex'
six or eight weeks"
you forget" he said.
Forget what?" they demanded.
He carries both accident and lift
insurance policies in the compan!
that l represent"
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
To Remove Stains.

Mildew stains are sometimes
source of great trouble, and are dl'i'
eult to remove unless you know just
the right way. Rub a little soap over
the mildew spots, and on top OF TINS
little chalk and lemon juice. II the
garment is then put out in the sun 1or
a couple of hours and after"ard
washed in the usual way, the spots
will disappear. ,.-
Tomato is said to be successful IN
many cases for removing ink STAINS
from white materials, such as hahd'
k~ercniefs. muslin frills, etc. IL u
however. be done as soon as possible
after the mishap has occurred. "A
clean Piece of blotting paper should De
laid under the stain and a slice OF raw
ripe tomato rubbed over the surface
fresh pieces of plotting paper being
substituted until the ink spot has van
ished.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
His Fourth Year.

One Of the coaches at Yale tells Oh
an old countryman and his wife wno'
on a visit to New Haven, were inter
ested witnesses of certain maneuVers
Of the football team.
The old gentleman walked slowly
around one stalwart player, LOOKING
him over as he might have done q
horse he was about to purchase. Then:
SARAH" he exclaimed.
What is 1t, Henry"
Hes nigh on six feet, amt ne!
Every inch Of it."
weighs about one hundred n
ninety-odd, Ell"
Il reckon"
"Well, football ure does develop
.em most powerful"
Hes a fine young man. comment
ed Sarah. -.
mani" exclaimed Henry. He amt
no man! Professor Hunter, who never
lied in his life. has jest told me thai
that young person is in his fourth
year."
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
Annexlna a Broken Fragment.
"%Shorthanded, eh?"

In taking possession OF German New
Guinea the Australians have annexed
what once formed a physical part OF
their own vast continent. For that
mysterious island of cannibals-the
largest island in the world II we agree
to shut Australia out-in comparative
" recent times had no Gulf OF Papua
to isolate it from its big neighbor.
Alfred Russell Wallace found that an
upheaval of 100 fathoms would serve
to Join the land once more together.
But the curious fact remains that IN
spite Of their common origin and an
cient connection New Guinea and Aus
tralia are peopled by different races
showing that the former must have
! been visited for the first time by hu'
man beings after the separation from
the mainland of Australia tok place
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07

Harvey, aged three, knows when he
is doing wrong. Harvey also knows
what to expect when he does wrong.
Mother missed him, and going up.
stairs found him on q chair pulling
everything OF the chiffonier and num-
bling to himself: Il know a little boy
going to get a whipping pretty soon; l
know a little boy going to get a whip
ping pretty soon."
i, And mother did not disappoint him,
though the punishment was tempered
by the knowledge that he knew he de.
served it.-Indianapolis News.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
The Hydraulic RAM.

She was a Delaware country girl.
She lived neal CASTOR and was IN
Muncie with her escort, watching q
niece Of engineering work that was
being done about a new bridge. Every
once In a while there came q peculiar
grinding noise whose origin she could
not locate.
Jim. what makes that noise?" she
asked.
"Oh. that's the hydraulic ram"
For lands sake! Where DO they
keep NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. News.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
PRESSED HARD.
coffee's Weight on Old Age.

When people realize the injurious
effects Of coffee and the change In
health that Postum a bring, they are
usually glad to lend their testimony
for the benefit Of others.
my mother, since her early child.
hood, was an inveterate coffee drinker,
had been troubled with her heart for q
number of years and complained Of
that weak all over feeling and sick
stomach.
Some time ago I was making q
visit to a distant part OF the country
and took dinner with one Of the
merchants Of the place. I noticed .
somewhat unusual favour Of the cot
fee and asked him concerning 1t. He
replied that it was Postum.
II was SO pleased with It that, after
the meal was over. I bought a package
to carry home with me, and had wife
prepare some for the next meal. The
whole family were 80 well pleased
with it that We discontinued coffee and
used Postum entirely.
Il had real. been at times very
anxious concerning my mothers con
dition. but we noticed that after using
Postum for q short time, she felt 81
much better than she did prior to 1T
use. and had little trouble with bel
heart, and no sick stomach: that thu
headaches were not 20 frequent, ant
her general condition much improved
This continued until she was well ant
hearty.
Il know Postum has benefited my
self and the other members OF the fan
lily, but not in 30 marked a degree 4
in the case Of my mother. Is she was
victim Of long standing" Name give
; Nby Postum Co., Battle Greek. Mich.
Postum comes In two forms:
Regular Postum be we
. boiled. 15c and &c packages.
instant Pestum-is . soluble pov
der. A teaspoonful dissolves quickl
] in . cup Of hot water and. with creal
and sugar. makes = delicious beve
age instantly. SOC and SOC tins.
Tho cost per cup Of both kinds
about the same.
There's q Reason for Postum.
sold by Grocer
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
PHILADELPHIA Has Rat Patrol.

Hundreds of longshoremen in Phil
adelphia who have for weeks been
out of employment because Of the al
in Europe and the consequent falling
of in shipping, are making a fair
wage chasing rats along the river
front and taking them to the receiving
station recently opened by the city.
Five cents is paid for each live rat,
and two cents apiece for dead ones.
The receiving station was inaugu.
rated as a feature Of the campaign
being waged for the determination of
rodents and to prevent the entrance
into Philadelphia by way Of shipping
Of the bubonic plague which has
caused such CONSERVATION In New Or
leans.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
psposles Of Phosphate Rock.

While the states Of Florida, Tennes
see and South Carolina have for many
years been the principal sources Of
phosphate rock In the United States,
It is believed that the main produc-
ton in the future viii probably come
from the great deposits Of phosphate
rock on public lands In Idaho, Utah.
Wyoming and Montana. While George.
town Is the only village strictly with.
IN the area discussed. Montpelier and
Soda Springs are closely adjacent An
estimate Of the high-grade phosphate
rock available In the AREA northeast
Of Georgetown has been made-2,663,.
as0, 900 long tons. Although this e.
innate IL approximate. It 10 derived
from tho most complete data availa-
Bile ut the present time and has been
confined to the content Of the main
bed. which lies In the greater part Of
this area near the base Of the phos.
phate shales, and no attempt 10 made
to estimate the vast tonnage Of the
intermediate or low-grade rock.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
RESlNOL WILL SURELY
STOP THAT ITCHING

What blessed relief! The
,es;nol ointment touches itching skin,
the itching stops and healing begins.
THAT "a why doctors have prescribed II
successfully for nineteen years In even
the severest, stubbornest cases OF &c.
zema. letter, ringworm, rashes and
other tormenting, unsightly skin-erup
tions. With the help Of warm baths
nth resinol soap, resinol ointment re-
stores the ckin or scalp to perfect
health and comfort. quickly. easily and
:, little cost. At all druggists.-AdV
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
Hot STUFF for Supper.

A mother was baking while her
little daughter Mildred played about
the kitchen. At supper one Of the
pies was brought for dessert. Father
got the first bite. Instantly he COM
menced sneezing, tears rolled down
his face, and he grasped wildly for q
water guass between gasps.
For heavens sake (atcho0), moth
er, what (atchoo) have you put tn
(atchoo) that pie (atchoo)?"
But Mildred volunteered:
1T wasn't black enough. papa. and
when mamma went into the pantry ]
and put some pepper In It"
She had emptied the box.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
In tho Hospital.

Men and women. bearing, some OF
them. the prominent American names.
ara working if the Neuilly hospital OF
Tho most mental tasks with admirable
selt-abnegation. It is the duty Of an
American multimillionaire to tee to 1t
that wounded Turcos. some Of whom
have been without q change OF clothes
for a fortnight, are thoroughly, and
conscientiously scrubbed. Dollar ps1n'
ceases are busy rolling bsndases and
preparing dressings. - Philadeipn'a
Ledger.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
ORGAN GRINDERS DAY
HARVEST REAPED by WASHING
TON STREET MUSICIAN.
Story From the Capital Concerning
French and German Ambassadors
10 a Good One, Though It 10
Not Official.

II was before the wal came IN grim
earnest, Of course. but here Is tne
form in which a perfectly respectable
old story used to be told over the cis'
arettes in Washington. When the gov
ernments Of France and Germany
were merely barking at each otne1
across the conference table, It nap
pened one day that an Italian organ
grinder, strolllng along the streets OF
Washington, planted his instrument
of torture on the curb in front OF the
German legation and began grinding
out the Marseillaise.
The strains of Frances great na'
tional air fell upon the ears OF tne
German ambassador, Count Bernstorn'
as he sat within, deep in the dlplo'
matte puzzles of his office, and a frown
overspread his brow; for the Germans,
though a music.loving people, love not
the tune Of the Marseillaise. How
ever, he passed the incident, as q
mOmentary annoyance, anu ouA'o"
himself deeper in his work.
When the musician, having reacheo
the end of the Marseillaise, proceeded
to adjust his machine and play II
over again, the ambassador grew rest
less. And when the third round be-
gan, Count Be~rnstorff's patience broke
under the strain. Hammering upon his
call.bell, he summoned an attendant.
GO out and drive that fellow from
the block!" he commanded, and was
turning again to his work when q
bright idea flashed upon him. Here
wait a moment" he called, and, draw
Ing a coin from his pocket. gave the
valet some instructions along with the
money.
The valet, swiftly making his way t.
the street, addressed the organ
grinder.
Can you play Die Wacht an
Rhein"" he asked.
Eyes, sure, Mike, l play him." re
piled the son of Italy, in the lingo o
the country.
! do you know where M'sieur Jus
, serand, the French ambassador. lives!
now queried the servant.
! Eyes, yes, sure, Mike, l know" n
sponded the dago.
q well, here's a halfdollar," said tn
s servant, handing him the coin.
d want you to go up to Ambassador Jul
n serand's house and play Die Wach
am Rhein' for Is minutes without stol
l. ping. Understand"
Eyes, yes, sure, Mike" exclaime
= the dago eagerly, and, singing his O
l. gan across his back, as he prepared I
l, move on, added proudly:
y To-day, beeg day; today make d
$. beeg mon. Ambass' %Jusserand, Jul
e now he giva me one dollar to CON
here and play de Marseillaise for ]
minutes."-New York Evening Post.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
CA[0MEL SCKENS! t SAuNA7ES!
DON'T STAY BILIOUS, C0NST|PATED
| Guarantee "Dodson's Liver Tone" Will Give You the Best Liver
and Bowel Cleansing You Ever Had-Don't Lose a Days Work!

under my personal guarantee that 1t
will clean your sluggish liver better
than nasty calomel; it won't make you
sick and you can eat anything you
want without being salivated. Your
druggist guarantees that each spoonful
will start your liver, clean your bowels
and straighten you up by morning or
you can have your money back. Chill
dren gladly take Dodson's Liver Tone
because it Is pleasant tasting and
doesn't grippe or cramp or make them
sick.
I am selling millions Of bottles of
Dodson's Liver Tone to people who
have found that this pleasant, vege.
table. liver medicine takes the place
of dangerous calomel. Buy one bottle
on my sound, reliable guarantee. ASK
your druggist or storekeeper about me-
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
Prominent British Statesman.

TTOUbUSJIS 0VtSSou SAoSSouu&u'
Rt. Hon. Claiborne Gathorne-Hardy,
Viscount Cranbrook, who was promi-
nent In British public affairs from the
time of his entrance in parliament In
1856 until his death a few years ago,
was born in Bradford 100 years ago.
He completed his education at Oxford
in 1886 and four years later was called
to the bar. Mr.. Hardy represented
Leominster in the house of commons
from 1856 till the celebrated Oxford
election in July, 1866, when, after an
exciting contest, he defeated MI. Glad
stone, this being the principal con-
sentative success at the general cleo
ton of that year. After holding sew
eral high positions in the administra.
ton Of Lord Derby and Mr.. Disraeli,
he succeeded the marquis of Salisbury
as secretary of state for India in 1878.
In the same year he was raised to the
house of peers.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
Advises Golf for Women.

John D. Rockefeller advises women
who are beginning to get old to take
up golf. He thinks that 1t will do
old women as much good as 1t does
old men. And for young women he
thinks it an excellent game as it will
prevent their aver getting old.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07

REMARKABLE LETTER FROM A WELL
KNOWN WASHINGTON DRUGGIST.
in re~ferenceto Elixir Babek the Sreaevsnssdy
for chiNs and fsvsv and all material diseases.
"Within the last 1--WE months I have sold $500
bottlesof Elixir Ia bek ,forMalaria, Chillsand
Fever. Our customers speak very well OF II!
Henry Evans, ee2 F st., NV, Washington, DC"
Elixir Babek 80 cents all druggists, or by
Parcels Post, prepaid, from K~loczewski d Co.,
WashinQtou. ID. G.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07

Bordeaux 4 shlpbuIIdlns Center.
Shipbuilding and re1tting is one OF
the most important industries OF Dor.
deaux. War vessels as well a. mer.
chant vessels are constructed there.
A large fleet of fishing vessels leaves
the city each year for the cod fisheries
Of Newfoundland and Iceland.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
How the Minister Is Treated.

Once upon a time a manager asked
George AIDE if he had ever been taken
for a minister.
NO." replied AIDE, "but have Deen
treated like one"
How was that?"
II have been kept waiting for my
salary six or seven months Ladies'
Home Journal.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07

cine on earth. Let me tell you why !
think so.
MY son has been AFFLICTED with ca
tarrh since he was q baby five months
old, so that for years I had to watch
him all night long. and keep his
mouth open SO he could breathe. AZ
he could not breathe through his nose.
HE has always been very delicate.
"Since he commenced taking the
Peruna l can 60 to bed and sleep ala
night"
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07

Unoeeeev0o
The cannibal picked his teeth 70
fectively. "Of course" he observed.
II have eaten worse specimens than
the late governor, but"
He selected q cigar with q perfecto
shape.
d can't understand why they n
ways said Your Excellency' when
thew addressed him."-Fun.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
a Lot.

How will you have your eggs, sir?
REHABILITATION Evening Trans
cript.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
uonev Tor chrlstmas,

Money for Christmas.
Selling guaranteed wear.proof hosa'
erv to friends & neighbors. Big Xmas
hns,ness. Wear.Proof Mills. $500
Chestnut St. Philadelphia, Pa.-Adv.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07

Real faith is needed before a man
can buy a bottle Of hair restorer OF
. bald headed druggist.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
Very Good Reason.

Very Good Reason.
Parson-How Ii It ! hAvent seen
You at church lately?
Hodge-I amt been.-Pnnters Fl
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07
A Color Riot.

Some people seem to get in a
frenzy over the yellow peril"
"Yes, in a regular blue funk"
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07

Any young man car afford to marry
LII the girl has money enough for
two.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-11-07

He is truly q wise man who refrains
from discussing religion, politics or
self with his friends.