The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1914-08-14
Uncle Zimri on Lying

down with my back and had sunthen
like the yaller ianders so could not
we'll write; Sara says it is a jedge-
ment sent on me fer lyin.
You seem changed in your notins
a bit. I never would have suppos-
ed IL at you being raised as you wus
could ever call SIGH things as l writ
YOU about, sport. But there IS no
accounten fer tastes though, as the
feler said when he was a eaten at
the table of friend who lived IN
an eastern city; they had chicken
fer dinner and it had been dead |
and without bein dressed Drawn"
they call it, Ter two weeks andait
wus a bit meller. We amt a goin
to fall out about it and [ am glad
that you didn't lie about it jist to
agree with me.
Did you eyer stop to notice now
much lyin is goin on in the world
these days? | suppose that | want
guilty Of it in any way, but the
other day tried tellen the straight
truth all day and like to have got
into trouble about it.
That mornin iist as l wus a git
ten up from the breakfast table.
Jim Peterson came over to borrer
my new pillow. You know jim;
he never buys tool as long as ne
can borrer one; I had expected to
90 to town that day, but the fust
thing | knowed, | told Jim that |
yus going to use it so [ couldn' It ac'
commodate him. | remembered
what | started out to do, so IN
place Of goin to town | plowed. L
kept on the watch over myself as |
thought, but had to do lot OF ex-
planen to git out of lyin,
Whep l went to the house fer
dinner, who should be there but
ant Betty Green; she is the biggest
gorsip in the deestrict and | had
said that | didn't want her to ever
come 10 my house. Well | met
Ter and shook hands with her and
said ike I alters do, Glad to see
yer, Betty" Right then | thought
Zimri you've lied sarten that time,
so / tried to fix it up by sayen, that
is, / am glad yer alive but ] want
a pinen any to see yer; that is to
say, l want expecten yer today.
Well, he flew mad in a mint.
The way that woman talked fer an
hour would have made a lawyer
ashamed of hiself; | never heered
the beat of it; Sara jist set there
an6 smiled like, and | wus Altered
to open my mouth for fear would
make things worse. so | jist let her
run on till she had said everything
about me she could think of and
list naturally run down like an old
clock,
7 tried to be more keerful after
that, but before | got away to work
here come Mandy Smith with about
four kids includen the latest one,
Of course Sara took notice of the
baby right off and talked about its
ewes and hair and who it looked
like, then she passed it over to me
to look at; I saw her smile one of
her queer smiles. but never mis-
trusted any trouble; directly Miss
Smith said Uncle Zimri amt she
purity ?everybody says she looks like
me, don't you think she does? Be-
fore | thought, | said, shure mum;
then l remembered. The baby wus
as homely younger as ever seed
It's eyes were crossed, it didn t
have any hair, its face was all puck
cred up and red and there want a
single thing to riccomend its looks
but it's feet; | tried to make my
word good by sayen, that is, it may
look like you did fifty odd years
ago. "Zimri Horner air you try
in to insult me? you know good
and we'll that / haint any SIGH age;
if you CANT tell the truth, tell lie
that some might be made to believe.
l didn't suppose you would insult
VISITOR
I told her not haven any of the
little critters Of my own, | expect
ed / knowed more about purity pigs;
she said sunthen about Hog be-