davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Big Sandy news. [volume] (Louisa, Ky.) 1885-1929, 1914-11-13

. 4 newspaper dispatch estimates that
about 100000 Austrian and German
troops are on the line from Cracow, tn
Galtcia. To Thorn, In last Prussia.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-15

winged things squawked and tapped their
wings in applause, and all the brown
ugly ducks looked mad and hudd1ed
around the defeated one
Same old story: Birds of feather
| consider this feathered tribe the most
interesting collection In the entire zoo,
because there is more freedom here than
anywhere else.
The pretty, plumed things enjoy the
water and fresh air. and they seem to like
the fighting and scrapping and fussing,
just like lot of women.
Next thing I inspected was large and
influential black bear, if you please.
He's scary looking, believe me- and the
most un-pretty thing l saw there, and I'm
sure he is dreadfully unhappy.
I think he must have a secret SORROW
But 1 don't blame him for being I'M
happy; imagine going through a summer
in Alabama in a heavy petticoat of
crimped black hair down to your very
hoofs.
This is what the black bear has to do
and with his weight besides, he looked
exhausted and irritable.
Near by stood a big tree, with lot
of coons Qour legged sticking to it like
so many barnacles to a sea shell.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-15

| never saw creature so absolutely in
| different TO the members OF his anatomy
as raccoon
His paws and head can hang down or
lop over, and dangle any old way.
He doesn't care any more about it than
drunken man, but he isn't inebriated,
but in the full enjoyment of his senses.
His we'll being permeates beholders as
he snoozes In the sunlight regardless of
himself and how he is hung up!
] don't believe he ever works or quar-
rels or troubles about anything at all.
and he's very fluffy and plump and come
ly loking.
Oh. to be raccoon In the beauteous
spring sunshine. with no bills to pay,
no clothes to buy, no hats to worry with,
nothing to write, and nothing to live for
but.-life.
He's really the only enviable person, L
found, among the ''creeturs" at the zoo.
There was house with wildcats and
ground hogs, and chipmonks and things
q remember Charlotte Walker told me
her husband, Eugene Walker, looked like
a chipmonk, and I'd never seen one of
them, so when had the chance looked
good and hard), and they seemed awfully
unhappy and ill-tempered!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-15

it has now been six months since l took
any medicine at all. l hope my little
note will assist you in helping other wo-
men. / now feel perfectly well and in
the best of health. : Mrs. AUGUST
w. KoNDNER, 1882 Hollins Street, Bal
timore, Md.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound. made from native roots and
herbs, contains no narcotic or harmful
drugs, and to-day holds the record Of
being the most successful remedy for
female ills we know of, and thousands
of voluntary testimonials on file in the
Pinkham laboratory at Lynn, Mass,
seem to prove this fact.
For thirty years it has been the stand
ard remedy for female ills, and has re,I
stored the health of thousands of wo,ne
who have been troubled with such ain
ments as displacements, inflammation.
liberation, tumors, irregularities, etc.
If you want special advice
write to Lydia e. Pinkham Med
icine Co., confidential LYNN.
Mass. Your letter will be opened.
read and answered by a woman
and held in strict confidence.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-15

Those queer creatures lead COM
munistic existence and fight and quar-
rel a good deal, because there isn't one
of them in the lot who would have de-
iiberately chosen to have been put in
with the others.
Why. look at it from your own
standpoint!
What possible respect could a large
and enthusiastic stork have for lit
tie old puddle duck?
Or
A lovely pale pink crane for a home
ly old pelican?
| was awfully sorry for this lot-all
mixed up like the "Reign of Terror
in France-canaille and aristocrat
lovely. long-throated, high stepping,
grand DANES" and vultures.
A bas,
Robespierre and Marie Antoinette,
The Duchess de Lamballe and Dan
ton.
The horrible part of it all is that
the princes and great ladies" In the
crowd receive no respect at all
They have become from association
just common, everyday birds to the
rest.
And
As Marie Antoinette wearied even
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-15
Sacred cattle of India


her aristocratic court with her insult
ferable vanity at Trianon, so are these
creatures bored by the vanity of their
superiors.
AS for vanity-what on earth is van
iity than a vain male bird except per-
haps, a vain male child?
There's a big white bird-the king
hird," | called HMM this conglomer-
ate gathering!
| l hope the visitors who go to the
zoo will gather about him and watch
the conceit of this creature!
| He spreads out his big white wings
and dances a regular "minuet" in the
water.
Then he stretches out his long white
neck and shows a little red Cap d for
ears.
When he gets tired he poses on one
| leg, the other foot, on his chin, like a
Beau Brummel!
And
| The WEAKNESS and disgust of the
other ducks
| He makes them all tired and they
don't fail to show it, either.
Those who don't get bored to death
at once and drown their ennui in-po
not strong drink, but the placid wa
| ters of the lax e--stand about in sui
len disgust and watch him show him
self off.
Perhaps he has something to be con
oeited for, however. Anyway, he thinks
so and that's half the game.
But. even So
The other birds have seen him show
! eff so often that they are just dead,
dead tired and seeing him do this so
often. he's no longer a king bird" to
them, but just plain, old vain male
bird playing to the gallery"
| A white bird and brown water
bird had row ON the banks of the
lake and there seemed no grounds
Whatever for the quarrel except mu-
tual antagonism.
You just know how a dull brown
bird hates a lovely white one with pink
legs and u feather ruching.
It's just as natural as the way a big.
red German 'Haus-Frau' hates a gay
little Parisienne.
The brown creature looked calm and
invincble as marble and just snapped a
few times at the white lady" and then
waited for further developments
was sure that the lovely white lady
would show all her fine feathers and then
I turn tail and run.
| She pretended to, but it was merely a
1 coup de gaerre.
! She flew far off from the stold brown
bird, who followed. and then she swooped
down suddenly upon her enemy and tore
| ont bouquet of brown feathers and
| completely routed the homely creature.
while all the pretty pink and white
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-15
Lake with beautiful ducks other feahered

I've never seen such dignity as an ele-
phant possesses, have you?
I don't remember ever having seen
anybody except Miss Fancy and Queen
Lilloukalani receive visits with such an
air of being impressed with their own i'm
portance!
Miss Fancy doesn't roll from side
to side impatiently-and make horrible
noises through her trunk like a lot of ele-
! plants I've seen-and that made me like
her tremendously.
She just stands there--calm, in rigid i'm
| and the Czarina herself couldn't receive
| among those present" with greater un-
concern than Miss Fancyr'
1 dreamed about elephants last night.
1t wasn't pleasant
OF all the beasts of the jungle the feline
beasts appeal to me most; my cousins and
sisters and brothers
| / know them by their spots and their
stripes and the arch of their eye
brows, so l went back to the wildcat
cage.
Have you ever seen a caracal?
Sounds like song-but 1t isn't.
She is the most beautiful wildcat in the
world. l remember seeing one once.
She came here from Africa, and she S
been trying. poor thing, to lind a way
back ever since she arrived.
| She is fawn colored with ebony trim
mings Her head shades from fawn into
ebony, and her beautiful pointed ears
are black, trimmed with black hair just
/ at the end, so that she suggests g
lovely sofa cushion with tassels.
Such great, wonderful, gray eyes-a
shapely head. the daintiest feet and legs
and q supple, sleek bodyl
| She was a brown Egyptian princess
once!
sheba's haughtiness shines in her eyes
and Cleopatra witchery lives again in
her beautiful body.
| Now she's just a poor Gagged caraca
wondering-always wondering-and plan
ming, in some sfghtless fashion, how she
may run away!
And
So I've concluded. after seeing all these
animals and what they have to put .ur
with. that woman's fate, after all. isn'i
SO bad.
She does break loose occasionally and
! that's why
| I'm glad I'm not a kangaroo
With arms so short and small
| Nor yet ugly moose who grew
All wrong with legs too tall.
| I'm pleased I'm not buffalo
With woolly skirts so hot.
They might be nice in winter so,
But i'll summer they are not
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-15
Handsome collection of birds

| body who isn't an Ernest Thompson
Seton can meet in an informal manner
the wild animals he does not know.
| 1t is much like meeting people you've
heard lots about-often disappointing.
Animals outside of the lyrics of great
poets, I confess have never appealed
to me much Except cats-I adore cats.
l ought to have been an old maid. but
those who figure in rhythmic imagina-
| ton 1 have always surrounded in my
| thoughts with a subtle charm.
| The deer has been poetic pet from
| the Scotch bards down, and now hav-
ing seen him, skipping about freely with
out the least affectation of self-conscious-
him.
| 1 honestly believe that no poet who
has ever eulogized the deer in rhyme
and story has ever seen one.
| The little lovey-dovey creature to be
sure, has much sprightliness nut no grace.
| 1t doesn't alternate its legs at all when
| it skips, but holds the two pair stiff
| as ramrods. and jumps with both of them
at once. He might as we'll have one peg,
| instead OF two little timber legs. each end
of him, for all the grace they seem to
bring him.
His little body is just as stiff as
poker when he runs, and he looks every
minute as if he were going to break
himself into pieces.
I don't believe he could dance the
tango" to save his life.
No
The deer is not graceful, but he's
a darling-all fawn colored and soft like,
with adorable eyes, and nis horns are
like great, fiat, brown, fern leaves, when
they grow out and get dangerous
There were a lot of pigeons that flew
over to make a call on the little deer
and IT occurred to me then and there
that the keeper of the zoo has a heart
heart attuned to poesy, because he
let's the animals and birds and things
visit each other and exchange the gos-
sip of 200" society. and compare notes
on the newest styles and grow intellect
ual together
In fact
] expected any moment to find the keep
er reclining on a mossy mound perusing
a git-edged volume of-Wordsworth!
There's a bird in the zoo named Peli-
can,
Whose mouth holds more than his Bel
ican
He can keep in his beak
Enough food for a week,
But don't see how in the Helican,
Life.
| Below in the valley I strolled toward
| a foolish little lake where / found all
| sorts of strange things.
In the enclosure were domiciled aquat-
| ic birds OF high and low degree.
| OF course I looked for Mr.. Roosevelt s
| own dear bird, the "storlk," first shot out
of the box; then | looked for the beautiful
| sacred white ibis, and cranes and wa
| ter birds and curlews and turkey buzz
| zards-and found many of my old friends
| of the feathered tribe
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-15

have never before realized what en-
viaole creatures raceoons are.
I'd like to be one this very minute
They can lie down any old place and be
comfortable.
Just think how nice it would be when
you are tired just to hang up in tree
and rest.
No corsets TO remove, no false hair, no
clothes.
Mercyl What bliss.
We human beings are very much spolt.
We require pillows and mattresses and
nice wire Springs" on our beds. but you
can just throw raccoon up in the air
and he'll light on bare, sharp stick and
curl up and so to sleep more cozily on
it than princess ON a bed couch of
swans down.
And
Think of it; no raccoon has ever yet been
operated on for appendicitis.
This is evident from the way he can
drape his little 'tum-tum" across a tiny
twig and enjoy himself.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-15

Yesterday
wandered into the famous Birming-
ham 200"
(They didn't keep me long. as you
see, with the other wild animals l met
there)
1 returned to my little abode in this
big old city, with my little old turned
up nose filled with loud, pungent odors
and my little old crooked mind filled
with knowledge of a variety that I
didn't possess when / went there.
For several months have I dwelt
upon the other side of the ZOO"
q believe everybody in Birmingham
has paid a visit there but I'm like the
old cows tail. though, always behind)
and until now. when all the newspaper
folk in town have written stories about
st. and everybody knew just how many
animals 1t contained, and where they
came from. and how much they cost I
had never penetrated the sample Of
jungle life we have in our midst--a life
of scent and sound!
If 1 had known how amusing a visit
to the 200" was going to be. l should
have gone every single, blessed day
since 1t opened. but it's Just like a
lazy, good-for-nothing woman like me,
not to tilt the rim of her teacup and
look beyond until the very last min
ute.
The 200 is an open air mystic
maze" so to speak.
You walk along the shade bordered
paths of Avondale park, and suddenly
something marvellous turns up-just
like that-when you are least expecting
it--as 1t did In Alice in wonderland.
The first new acquaintance that l
made was a llama"
Now
I had forgotten completely about
1lamas-df. indeed. I'd ever seen one be.
fore, to forget
This particular llama was evidently
a misanthrope, and a rude one, at that,
He had his back turned to the path,
which wasn't very well behaved of him,
although / will say on closer inspection
that his rear view is the best looking
part of him.
The llama has a very queer figure -
not at all stylish, and a lady llama
bust corsets to save her life.
She'd spill out.
The llama looks very much like a
fuzzy brown jug walking on stllts.
His tall doesn't amount to very much.
From what l could CLEAN of his large,
wide face, he seemed to have a very
discontented expression-angry frowns
making him disagreeable looking.
About the only really attractive fea-
ture that the llama possesses is his
fur coat
That expresses all there is in him
of beauty.
The rest is abominable and out Of
drawing.
The next friend In the receiving line
was perfectly good deer.
It is only in a nice ZOO" like ours that
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-15

For
I've always been of the opinion that
a large. grayish-brown, dusty elephant
ought to be named 'Dunk!'
They look dunk" from the tips of
their floppy ears to the end of their long,
inconsequential tails!
l will say this for Miss Fancy how
ever-she's the incest and best looking
and most sociable elephant that I've
ever seen.
1 don't blame an elephant for looking
morose and mad, though.
Wouldn't it make you furious for your
eyes to be so far apart that you could
only see on one side of yourself at a
time?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-15

| John, who were once called upon to
| entertain a number of ladies at dinner
during quarterly meeting. AS John be-
gan to carve the broiled chickens he
entered upon a flowery speech of well
come, but in the midst of his flatter-
ing utterances his mother, who was
somewhat deaf, piped up from the 9TH
er end of the table: you needn't be
prasin of 'em up, John. I'm afraid
they're lot of tough old hens, every
one of EN-"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-15

" eg et a Die OOm-
pound did for me.
l suffered dreadful
pains and was very
irregular. / became
alarmed and sent for
Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vege ia b lie Com
pound. I took it reg
ularly until l was
without a cramp or
pain and felt like
another ners0n and
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-15

camel I'd not like to be,
Nor yet grizzly bear.
One has two humps too much for me,
The other-too much hair,
In short, tc be just what I am,
I'd rather be than these,
Because L can annex my humps
And doff them when please.
A woman may look funny Oft
In fashions new and strange,
But they don't grow upon her, SO,
She often has a changeI
Rather Confusing
From the Pittsburg Chronicle e-Tele-
graph.
In the vicinity of Germantown there
lived worthy old lady and her son
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-15

wonder if it's because they aren't
free,
didn't care at all for their particular
brand of "sachcts' ana their voices got
on my nerves."
A long, lank, lean, black, green eyed
creature spit at me and snarled, and SO
took the hint and left. vending my
way toward Miss Fancy"
Now, I'm glad that Miss Fancy has
got such pretty name.
Deed / am,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-15
THIS W0MAN'S
SICKNESS
Quickly Yielded To Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound.

Baltimore, Md. -"I am more than
glad to tell what Lydia E. Pinkham's
The Keota news., 1914-08-28

cording to directions on the bottle and
she II cured Of this trouble. She was
all run down when she started taking
the Compound and her periods did not
come right. She was 90 poorly and
weak that often had to help her dress
herself, but now she is regular and is
growing strong and healthy. p Mrs.
MARTIN HELv1G, Plover, Iowa.
Hundreds Of such letters expressing
gratitude for the good Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound has accom-
plished are constantly being received,
proving the reliability Of this grand old
remedy.
If you are Ill do not drag along and
continue to suffer day in and day out but
at once take L jdia E. Pinkham's vege-
table Compound, a woman's remedy for
woman's ills.
II yoa want special advice write to
Lydia z. Piakham Medicine Co. (conf.
dential) Lynn, Mass. Your letter viii
be opened, read and answered BY ..
Ueman and held In Dtrict oon0denee.
The Keota news., 1914-08-28
SETTING THE CAPTAIN RIGHT
Know That osteopath Was
e4f Not q Fish.

When Mark Twain was at York
aarbor. Me-. an old fisherman. named
Captain Brooks. because one Of the
humorists's best friends. One day
Mark dropped In on the old tar and
said: Captain Brooks, do you know
whether there is an osteopath at the
harbor?"
WAL" said the old captain. the
mebbe. but I amt never ketched one
yet. and I've been fishin' here nigh
onter forty years."
"Well.' said Mark, II guess I'll 60
and inquire at the drug store"
That evening when Captain Brooks
reached home, he told his wife about
It, and she said:
You're bright one. Jed Brooks;
that amt no fish; it's bird"
The Keota news., 1914-08-28
SPORT.

j Pueblo police claim they are going
to win . majority Of the prizes offered
by prominent merchants for the ball
game with the Colorado Springs police
at the State Fair grounds at Pueblo.
Colo. on Aug. 20.
Joe Tinker, manager of the Federal
League Club, probably will not be able
to play ball any more this season. ac.
cording to . physician WHO examined
him at Chicago to ascertain the extent
Of an injury he suffered In collision.
lawrence Bromfield, Colorado state
golf champion. That is the title cap
tured by the young Denver Country
Club player when he pounded his lit
tie white pellet through driving rain
ON the last lap Of 36-hole round for
. decided victory over NJ. A. McLAugh-
lin OF Lakewood. banksr. 8 up and Z.
to journey at DenveI.
The Keota news., 1914-08-28
WASHINGTON.

Parcel post exhibits will be . fea-
ture at county fairs throughout the
country this fall.
Senator Hitchcock introduced bill
to prohibit the sale in this country of
bonds of foreign countries engaged in
war.
A sharp earthquake disturbance L.
200 miles from Washington was re-
corded on the seismograph Of George
town university Saturday.
Brigadier General Enoch H. Crow
der. fudge advocate general Of the
army. to whom . request Of tho Red
Gross for army surgeons for service
The Keota news., 1914-08-28
REDucED YIELDS PREDICTED As
RESULT OF ABANDONMENT
OF FIELDS.
U. S. YIELDS SMALLER
CONDITIONS LESS FAVORABLE.
SAYS DEPARTMENT OF AoRl.
CULTURE BULLETIN.

Western Newspaper Union News Service.
Washington. Reduced foreign
crop fields. due to ''the widespread
abandonment of the fields by the
male population Of military age" and
. less favorable condition Of crops in
this country. were reported In the
monthly bulletin Of the Department OF
Agriculture for the season up to Aug.
!.
The general tone Of foreign crop re-
ports during the last month has esti-
mated prospects of previous yields to
be too optimistic, the report declared.
That is declared to be due to crop
conditions as we'll as to the war. The
department does not make an esti-
mate as to what the effect Of the war
on crops will be.
The saving Of standing wheat and
other unharvested crops promises to
devolve largely upon female and
youthful labor" the report said. al
though the stress Of urgent necessity
will be a powerful influence against
permitting waste. the effect OF these
unusual harvest conditions upon ulti-
mate yield is for the present prob
lematical."
In the United Kingdom and the
more northerly latitddes Of CONT
mental Europe there was promise o.
better than an average crop before tho
war brought farm operations to halt.
TN the United States the Aug.
report declares that the month Of
July was very unfavorable for crop
growth. The composite condition OF
all crops Aug. was 2 per cent below
the ten-year average. whereas on July
/ prospects were Ia above the ten
year average. Prospects, however.
are still per cent better than the
outturn of last years crop.
Improvement occurred during July
in nearly all. the Atlantic coast states
the Northern states Of Michigan and
Wisconsin and the Mountain states ex-
cept Montana and Wyoming.
In nearly all other parts of the
United states," the report said. 'crops
feteriorated during July
The Keota news., 1914-08-28


n Europe vas refsrrsd. rendered On
a6vozss opinion ~ to the legality Of
ouoh assagnmentS.
Forty British and American work.
men were killed In the collapse Of the
new concrete customs house at Ceiba.
Honduras. according TO . dispatch tc
the State Department.
A resolution to develop information
on which to propose . federal inheri.
lance tax was introduced In tho House
by Progressive Leader Murdock. II
declares that 1000 men control In
comes aggregating more than that OF
the government.
A dispatch from London states that
Algernon Trevor Sutton of Carthage
Mo-. committed suicide by hanging
himself. His act was the result Of de
preston over the difficulty Of cashine
letters Of credit.
Congress passed the emergency
shipping bill, which will authorize the
President to admit foreign-built ships
to American registry, 80 that CONNER
cial fleets may sail the seas under
protection Of the American nag while
belligerents Of Europe are at war and
securing the ocean for prizes.
More than one million bushels OF
American wheat are on the way "a
Switzerland In British bottoms. the
shipment Of three -eargoes having
been arranged by DR.. Charles Paul
Hubscher, charge OF the legation q
Washington.
A proposal to make railroad direc
tors criminally liable for negligently
suffering q corporations funds to be
misapplied. was urged by Senator
Kenyon as an amendment to the Clay
ton antitrust bill.
Government war risk insurance FOL
vessels of American registry during
the European war seemed assured
after the Senate had passed the bill
to create . bureau Of war risk insur.
ance In the Treasury Department and
appropriate $6.000.o0o to cover losses
Announcement was made by the d.
rector Of tho mint ct Warrington thai
more than 1000, 900 ounces Of silver
were shipped ON tho steamship Phil
adelphia. which left for England. and
that spot silver IL netting the seller
over 68h cents an ounce In London
The shipment referred to was IN add
tion to shipments Of 100000 ounce,
previously reported.
Secretary Lane believes that the ef
feet Of the European war will be q di
rect benefit to the American people IN
making them realize to . greater ex
tent the value Of their mineral re
sources. "It is entirely possible" he
declared, ito 20 utilize these re
sources and expand our Industries
that the label, Made In America will
become familiar to our own and for.
eign markets"