The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-21
some place which he could not reach


 some place which he could not reach himself.
 During the epoch that the Cavaliers landed in Virginia and the Puritians i1 Massachusetts, the latter lived on maple sugar and armed prayer, while the former saluted his COW and. with barred head. milked her with his hat in one hand and his life in the other.
 Immigration now began to increase along the coast The Mayflower began to bring over vast quantities of antique furniture. mostly hall clocks for future sales Hanging them on spars and masts during rough weather easily accounts for the fact that none of them have ever been known to go.
 The Puritans now began to barter with the Indians, swapping square black bottles of liquid hell for farms in Mas sachussetts and additions to log towns. Dried apples and schools began to make their appearance. The low retreating forehead of the codfish began to be seen .at the stores and virtue began to break out among the Indians after death.
 The author will now refer to the dis tONeIN Ol lilG i1uuSOH I1NtT anu lHt town of New York via Fort Lee and the One Hundred and Twenty fifth street ferry.
 New York was afterward sold for $24--the whole island. When think of this I go into my family gallery; which I also use as a swear room, and tell those ancestors what I think of them. Where were they when New York was being sold for SPA? Were they having their portraits taken by Landseer or their deposition by Jeffreys, or having their Little Lord Fauntleroy clothes made? Do not encourage them to believe they will escape me in the future years. Some of them died unregenerate and are now, I am told, in a country where they may possibly be damned; and I will attend to the rest personally.
 Twenty dollars for New York! Why, my Croton water tax on one house and lot with 50 feet A inches front is $59 and no questions asked. Why, you can't get a voter for that now.
 Henry-or Hendrick-Hudson was an English navigator of whose birth and early history nothing is known. He went up the river as far as Albany, but, finding no one there whom he. knew, he hastened back as far as Two Hun dred and Ninth street west and an- chored. Here he landed and offered the Indians liquor, but they refused How Two Hundred and Ninth street has MT. Hudson's great reputa- tion lies in the fact that he discovered ha ri xvhiOt hut the thinking mind will at once regard the discovery of an Indian who does not drink as far more wonderful. Some his torians say that this especial delega- tion was swept away by pestilence, whilst others commenting on the incl dent maintain that Hudson lied.
 Nothing more was heard of him till he turned up in a thinking part in Rip Van Wrinkle.
 A solitary horseman about this time stood there aboard his horse, clothed in son landed and discovered the city he was approached by the chief, who said: We gates? I am one of the committee to show you our little town. l suppose you have power of attorney for dis covering us?"
 "Yes,' said Hudson, "as Columbus used to say when he discovered San T do it by the right vested in me by my sovereigns.'"
 That oversizes my pile by sover- eign and a half," says one of the na- tives.
 Very good" said the chief as they logged downtown on swift Sixth ave- nue elevated towards the wigwam on Fourteenth street. We do not care who discovers us so long as We control the city organization. How about it, Hank?"
 That will be satisfactory said Mr. taking out a package of i'm ported cheese and eating it so that they could have the car to themselves. That is you do not care whose portrait is on the currency so long as you get it?'
 "That is the sense of the meeting" said the chief, and thus New York was sold