davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-08
SOME BuRDENsoME NAMES

Perhaps the most burdensome name
ever given to a child was to the daugh-
ter of Arthur Pepper in 1882. 1t com
prised one name for every letter Of
the alphabet, in this way: Anna
Bertha Cecilia Diana Emily Fanny
Gertrude Hypatia Inez Jane Kate
Louise Maud Nora ophelia Ounce Re-
becca Starkey Teresa Ulysis Venus
Winifred Xenophon Yetty Zeno. P. Of
course, provided in the surname, Pep
per.
Hundreds of examples Of this poor
form OF parental wit occur in the en-
tries for the past few years. Noah's
Ark Smith, Sardine Box, Jolly Death,
Judas Iscariot Brown. One-too-Many
Johnson, Not-Wanted Smith. Bovril
simpson, Merry Christmas Fggett,
Odious Heaton, Ammo Domini Davis,
are the names OF children probably
living who will have to bear them
through life, unless they wash them
selves clean with subterfuge.
There was for a long time a curios-
ity in nomenclature on the Australian
pension list. His name was Through
observation-disclosures enter the King
dom-of.Heaven Smith" But the ofi-
ciais Of the Pension department very
pardonably abbreviated him into
"Trlbby Smith"
It is not surprising that the names
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-08
COULD GIVE EDITOR POINTS
Interview With Mother-in-Law Proba-
bly, Would Have Made Things
Warm for Mr.. Jones.

At a recent banquet reference was
made to the helping hand, which
recalled to Gov. Frank M. Bryne, of
South Dakota, an incident that hap
pened in a western town.
One morning a rather commanding
looking woman entered a newspaper
office, and asked to see the editor.
The editor was promptly produced.
"In your paper this morning" said
the woman, In a cold, hard voice, you
say that Mr.. Jones is a bride taker, a
swindler, a mud singer and a crook"
at is a matter of politics, madam"
said the editor, ~apologetically. Il am
very sorry that we were compelled to
make statements Of that kind on your
account, for l take it that you are a
relative"
II am his wife's mother" answered
the visitor. land / want to say that
you haven't told more than half of
the truth. The next time you want to
publish his biography ! wish you would
send a reporter to see me."-Philadel-
phia Telegraph
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-08
MOST VALUABLE OF TREES

What is probably the most valuable
tree in the world, the Ganter acgua-
cate, also popularity called the Ganter
avocado and alligator pear tree, was
planted at Whittier, Cal, in 1905, by
A. R. Rideout. 1t bore fruit at four
years of age. When five years old it
produced a crop of 1900 pears. Dur
ing the year 1912, seven years after
planting, the Ganter tree bore over
5000 pears which sold at from SIS to
Sc a dozen, totaling in all, $1,5OO.
Budding wood from the tree, sold at
ten cents a bud, the same year,
brought $1,706, so the total revenue
of the tree for the year amounted to
the phenomenal sum of $3,206.
The Ganter tree was named after A.
M. Ganter, who once owned the ranch
on which the tree is planted. 1t is a
Seeding, the seed having been part Of
some unsolicited seed brought, pre-
sumably, from Mexico and planted
promiscuously. Other seedlings which
grew from the same planting are con
spicuous for the infinite variety Of re-
suits they have produced. One tree,
planted at the same time as the IA
nous Ganter, has grown to the same
height as the Ganter (about 40 feet)
but it never bears more than SO pears
a eason.
The Ganter, besides being a prolific
bearer, has demonstrated it's superior.
ity in hardness during the severe
frost which California experienced
last winter. Budded Ganter stock to
seeding roots, survived, while in
many cases the Seeding stock to
which it was budded, was frozen to
the ground. First class nursery stock
OF the Genter budding has been com
handing from $40 to SIS a tree.
Ganter pears average in weight
from eight to twelve ounces. They
are about the size Of small canta
loupes, They will keep from ten tt
twelve days after picking, which will
allow ample time for transit across
the continent and marketing. Ship
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-08
BOY DESERVED TO "GET BY"
Chances Are indianapolis Youngster
viii Adorn Legal Profession If
He Adopts 1t.

A youngster Of ten was eating
grapes at the dinner table and making
much noise, says the Indianapolis
News. Bobby" said his grandmother,
you must not be so noisy eating
grapes" WELL" said Bobby, Il have
to get the intestines out"
The same te~n-year-old went across
the street to visit a friend, and some
difference of opinion brought on a
fight. He came home and told about
1t.
Bobby" said his grandfather, Il
am afraid I shall have to punish you
for that. You go over to his house
and then become quarrelsome and dis
agreeable and make trouble. Don't
you think l ought to punish your"
Grandpa" said Bobby, when /
grow up to be a man l am going to be
a. lawyer, and then I'll get a whole lot
OF other lawyers and we'll pass a law
thRt no child under ten years old shall
be punished" That was how Bobby
"got by" that time.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-08
MAKES ARTIFICIAL DAYLIGHT

A machine for making artificial
daylight to be used for matching col
ors and tints has recently been in
vented. 1t consists of a cabinet, 20
inches high, surmounted by a dome
like reflector. BY projecting the rays
from an incandescent gas burner of
a special type through plates Of col
ored glass a perfect reproduction Of
average daylight is said to be brought
about in the lower part Of the cabinet.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-08
Easy to Repair.

Sho-George, dear, here's a scientist
who says the earth is wabbling on Its
axis. What do you suppose they can
do about it?
George (absently)-open up the
muller, reverse the lever, shut Off the
power, lubricate the bearings and
tighten the wheel cup.-Cleyeland
Plain Dealer.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-08
Important 10 Mothere

important 10 Mothers
Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
signature 60 Of lIIMANzzM
In Use For Over so Years.
Children Cry for Netcher's Castoria
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-08
Not a L.lnoulst.

Mrs. Worldly-If, as you say, your
master kissed you against your will,
why did you not cry "Help?"
French Maid-Ah, madam! Zatees
just zee word OF vich l could not sink
at re moment. Zen, ven ! remember
Get, eet vas too late. He hat kissed
me tree, four. five timesl"-Puck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-08
IS EPILEPSY c%oNoUEREDH
New Jersey Physician Said to Have
Many Cures to His Credit.

Red Bank, N. ]. (Specia) .-Advices
from every direction fully confirm
previous reports that the remarkable
treatment for epilepsy being admin
istered by DR.. Perkins of this city, is
achieving wonderful results, Old and
stubborn cases have been greatly
benefited and many patients claim to
have been entirely cured.
Persons suffering from epilepsy
should write at once to DR.. H. w.
Perkins, Branch 40, Red Bank, N. j..
for a supply Of the remedy which ia
being distributed gratuitously.-Adv.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-08

ments have been made from Whittier
to New York and Pennsylvania with
satisfactory results. There is one
seed in each pear about the size OF a
walnut. The rest of the fruit is edi.
BILE. excepting the peel.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-08
plsouested.

Church-Did the lecturer fire his
a~udlence2
Gotham-No; the audience "nred"
him,
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16
SCHOOL BOND MONEY
NOW ON DEPOSIT WITH
AMERICAN STATE BANK

The proceeds OF the sale of bonds
issued by Lakeland school district
for the purpose of building and i'm
proving the schools of this city are
now available, being on deposit with
the American State Bank, which
was chosen as the depository for
these funds by the county school
board.
The bonds were voted some months
ago for the purpose of building a
new school house in South Lakeland
and to make substantial addition
10 the present school building. The
amount was $4,000 and a satisfac.
tory sale was made to We'll, Roth G
Co., of Cincinnati. The improve
ments for which the bond money was
voted are both we'll under way, and
VIII make our school equipment and
lacliltles among the best in the
State.
The selection of the American
State bank as the depository for
these funds is merited recognition
OF the standing and splendid growth
OF this Institution, which is admir-
ably managed, and has the conf
denee Of the public, and is regard
ed as one of the most substantial and
successful banking establishments IN
'0''" 'ollua' 1861
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16
DETROIT OFFICIALS WILL
RIDE IN FORDS ONLY

Detroit, Mich, June 16. Ford
runabouts will be purchased for all
employees of the city of Boston who
are provided with cars in the future.
according to pronunciamiento is
sued recently by Mayor Curley of
that city.
81 have decided to make the Ford
runabout the official car under my
administration" the Mayor declared.
1T doesn't cost SO much to buy, and
can be operated twenty miles on a
gallon of gasoline. BY discarding the
heavy cars now in use and putting
in an equipment of Fords, the city
will save several thousands of dol
lars without impairing in any way
its automobile service.
The old method of paying fancy
price for city automobile, then hav-
ing an outlay of $4,000 for repairs,
and finally selling the machine for
$3.50 at public auction, doesn't make
for economy. The mayor referred
to an experience the city had with
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16
one big machine.

one big machine.
At present the CITY of Boston owns
about seyenty-five automobiles, rang
ing in price from $500 down to
$500. These will be replaced with
Fords as soon as the change can be
made.
Mayor Curley is bound to stamp
out joy-riding by the city employees.
A short time ago he opened up a
municipal garage where all the city's
automobiles must be placed at night
and from which they cannot be TAX
en- after darkness falls without a
written permit.
Boston is following the example of
Kansas City which a short time ago
sold eleven heavy cars at public auc-
ton and replaced them with an
equipment of Fords.
The Ford costs so little to buy and
operate as compared with other cars,
though it furnishes equally as good
service that there is hardly a city of
any size in North America that does
not have its equipment of Fords.
27O2
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16

lingering death realizing his fate
and enduring the limit of pain to
which humanity can reach.
1t is not likely, in the present
general Indifference to the POSSIBLE
ity of accidents of this kind even in
the best regulated families, that we
shall see any remarkable lessening
|of this danger. 1t is we'll, there
fore, to be prepared for ito real
ize that however slight a powder
burn may appear, if it has broken
the outer skin, there is a decided
danger and risk in not taking ev-
cry step to avoid fatal infection.
If a person, child or adult, is at
tackled by a dog presumably affected
with rabies, he takes no chances, but
hunts up the doctor, and he gets to
him quick. The danger from a
powder burn is no less serious and
the prudent man Will be equally
prompt in consulting the physician.
An antitoXin for tetanus has been
perfected which is as dependable in
the prevention of this disease as is
the Pasteur treatment in the preven-
iton of hydrophobia. Its use should
be encouraged in all injuries of this
nature even though they be appar-
emily of only moderate severity.
The bacillus of tetanus, the germ
that makes the real trouble follow
ing powder burns, is more or less of
mystery, but medical science has
him under surveillance, investigat-
ing his habits and methods of work.
The doctors have found him an en-
envy not to be trif1ed with. They
have discovered also that he can
not thrive in the presence of oxygen
It's fatal to him. Therefore, he can
not infict injury on the surface of
the skin or wherever else he may be
exposed to the air. He must and does
work beneath the surface and he
burrows along the nerve lines to the
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16
KIND OF WEATHER FLORIDA
HAS IN THE SUMMER TIME

Russell Kay, recently OF Califor-
mia, but now assisting his uncle,
Editor Wright, in the conduct OF the
Florida Grower, has the following to
say in the last issue of that paper
regarding Florida summer weather:
Tampa, June II, 1914.
Dear Billy:
So you want to know something
about the weather down here, do
you? Well, I'll tell you According
to the natives, they get much bet
ter crop of weather in the winter
than they do in summer. Perhaps
they do, but on the square, | can't
figure how they are going to pro-
duce anything to beat what we are
enjoying right now without in
fringing on the Garden of Eden.
Why, man! if they could raise a
climate like this up north they'd
build a fence around it and charge
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16
THE FOURTH OF JULY
PATRIOTISM AND POWDER
(Board of Health Bulletin. J

NOOaAN VI iiSuibh DuliNtlh'J
There's a connection between the
two which would be remarkable if
it had not been proved to be rather
intimate by the experiences of past
years. The near approach of the
summer holidays, of which the
Glorious Fourth is the occasion or
inspiration, makes the subject
Timely.
The disasters resulting from the
insane celebration of the Fourth,
/ like typhoid fever, malaria and 9TH
er sad visitations, are preventable.
They are without reasonable excuse,
excepting that of ignorance, which
isn't acceptable as an excuse in
these enlightened days. Where. an
explosion of gunpowder in firearms
or fireworks results in fatal injury
or in instantaneous death, the doc
tor, of course, hasn't chance. The
coroner should be summoned. But
in the multitude of accidents that
pepper the skin with burned powder,
that bring shattered fingers and
blinded eyes - the features that
make the small boy hero to his
comprehensive greatest danger is
not from the superficial damages
that might have come from other
causes than exploding fireworks. 1t
is in the comparatively slow
development of tetanus, resulting
frequently in complete fexion of the
voluntary muscles and producing
lockjaw.
In its final development the death
of the victim is attended by horrible
suffering not unlike that produced
by hydrophobia. The spasms of eX-
cruciating agony in both diseases
are unrelieved by the unconscious
ness of the victim, and he dies 6
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16
the body.

nerve centers of the body
The advice to the layman IN lhe
case of accidents from eXplouihs
powder is to go to the doctor as soon
sa possible-don wait until toniol-
row-go now. AS first AID 10 Tue
injured, saturate the wound Will
peroxide of hydrogen, or, as II Is
known sometimes, with dioxygen'
While this must not be depended
upon to ward oc the results OF IN
Jury. its large percentage OF avail
able oxygen may lessen immediate
danger, until professional skill can
ihave a chance.
| If we must be noisily patriotic, lei
JUS be prepared for the consequences
and knowing of the danger to the
average small boy, be ready to save
his life for years of future useful
ness.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16

admission. Yes, they would! And
it's ten to one they wouldn't have
free list.
When 4 wake ND in the morning,
Billy, and find mess of sunshine
scattered all over my room playing
tag with a fresh salt breeze from off
the bay, it sure does make me sore.
| want to kick myself for not blow
ing down here sooner. | can look out
of my window and get an eye full
of joy at every glance. You'd have
to see it to appreciate it. Green
grass, palm trees, flowers enough to
decorate national cemetery, and the
air is just splashed with perfume.
Glass is tame name for it. can
hear the hooking birds tearing off
this Melba stuff by the yard. And,
say. a mouth-full of this real atmos-
phere is sure one grand little tonic.
1t just jams Joy rixsnt into your sys-
TEN and makes you feel like a regu-
lar fellow all the time. Better take
my tip and come down, where you
can get in on little real life. You
will find everything all to the merry
and soon be galloping around with
face full of happy grin.
1 had lot of people try to crowd
the hot-weather idea on me before |
came down here. I'll tell YOU
straight, Billy, it's all bunk. It
doesn't have chance to get hot In
Florida. Why as soon as it begins
to get little sultry along comes a
nice young breeze from off the coast
and backs the heat right off the
boards. The best little heat-chassr
OF them all is the rain. Now. new
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16

Uncle Walt Mason has joined the
Tradeat-Home crusade. and he
writes rhythmically and convincing
ly on the subject, thus;
Kersmith & Kickshaw deal in wax
and Chinese eggs and carpet tacks.
They are good sports in every way;
they cough up money every day to
make the town better place in
which to live and push your face.
They hire dozen clerks or more,
who wait on patrons in their store.
Our cross roads burg they would up
build, and see it with glad people
filled, and to that end they blow
their scads like truly patriotic lads.
But when in need of eggs a few. we
send away to Timbuetoo; and when
a carpet tack we wish, it's shipped
from Ypsilanti, Mich. Each has the
notion in his dome that things are
best away from home, and so we
order hoods and hats, and humming-
birds and Maltese cats, from strang-
ers in some town remote, who would
not know us from a goat. We ship
away our hard-earned kale and get
our fourth rate junk by mail. Say,
are We seers, or are We fools? Those
strangers don't support our schools,
or keep the peeler on his beat, or
help to pave Commercial street. They
do not paint the village pump or
build fence around the dump. If
our old burg were blown away they
wouldn't care a bale of hay. Ker-
smith & Kickshaw ought to get the
local trade already yet.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16

Ier used to have a bit of af4r
rain until I came down hsr
I'm for it strong now. II raiv II
ness-like in Florida. You dom Il
to run around sky-gazing for
three days wondering if it vi
won't and in the end get
proper because you guessed
and left your showercane al
No, sir! When it begins to elm
in this country you can rest al
that there's something comm! \
Say, you ought to see it n. /
doesn't last long, but when it n
it comes right. Why good ha|
Florida shower would make Nsj
Falls look like a leaky hydralt|
the beauty of it is, ten MINUTES
the storm has passed You 1
find a drop of water on the std
the water drains off, the sun d
out again, and everything is ast
as an express clerk. Every lea
blade of grass looks as bright
clean as a new silver dollar, alt
air is cool and refreshing,
you about the hooking birds
permanent residents of this lOCs
Well, that ought to be enough
sure this climate against any
the knockers can spring abou
you never heard of a mocking
liafing around in a bum climaa
, you? / guess not, and let N
this much, Billy, anything
good enough for a knocking b
good enough for Yours Truly.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16

Fred DeBerry seems in some way
to connect Governor Trammell with
his defeat, and in his Arrow he in
dulges in some criticism of the exec
utive. Don't do it, Fred. Knock
ing Trammell in this neck of the
woods-or in any other part of Flor
ida, for that matter-won't get you
a blame thing, unless it be some re-
bounding knocks.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16

Newspaper men of South Florida
should make their arrangements
with view to letting nothing pre-
vent them from attending the meet
ing to be held in Lakeland on June
&c for the purpose of organizing the
South Florida Press Association. Ev-
cry editor in the territory south OF
Orlando should bep resent at this
meeting. The Association will be
modelled and conducted on lines look.
ing toward the advancement of the
practical and material interests Of
the publishers-a phase of the mat.
ter which heretofore has been en-
tirely overlooked.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16

Brethren, we do not wish to usurp
any of the prerogatives of the Mi
ami Metropolis, which watches over
us ignorant editors with paternal
Cor is it materially care-but 1t ID
not the "peninsular" of Florida.
"Peninsular Florida" may pass, but
it is the Florida peninsula
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16

Funny, isn't it, that the very apos-
ties of Progressive" Democracy
such as George Matthews, Of the
Fort Lauderdale Sentinel, for in
Istance-should adversely criticise
President Wilson and charge him
with allying himself with Wall
Street. Oh, Progressiveness, what
a lot of bumcombe and balderdash
have been perpetrated in thy name!
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16

The linotype frequently plays
fiendish tricks with the editors work,
and makes it appear that he doesn't
know what he is writing about. The
worst of it is that attempted ex-
plantations only make matters worse.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16

The Orlando Reporter-Star de-
clares it "unthinkable" to use an
initial for the first name and give
the second in full, as in the case of
j. Hamilton Lewis. This may be a
hint to j. Hugh Reese, who assumes
the editorship of that paper in few
days.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16

"Bill' Ellis landed as one of the
Supreme Court justices. He went
out and saw the people, and they
liked him and voted for him. He
will fill the high position with
credit.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16

Whatever may oe the opinion of
the voters as to the Bryan primary
law, there seems to be no dissatis-
faction with the Trammell Corrupt
Practices Act. The latter piece of
legislation has done more to purify
politics in the State than all other
previous measures combined.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16
PROMPT SETTLEMENT OF
INSURANCE CLAIM

MI D. H. Sloan, Lakeland, Fla:
Dear Sir-l beg to acknowledge
receipt of check covering insurance
on my home and trees which were
destroyed by fire on the 9Th inst.
Such a quick and satisfactory set
Element certainly speaks well for
your company's manner in adjusting
losses. Yours very truly,
2703. E. O. FLOOD
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16

LOST-Locket, engraved "E. ]. b.
Supposed to have been lost near
railroad station or express office.
Reward if returned to Railroad
restaurant 2704
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-06-16

From the same Office is issued
THE LAKELAND NEWS,
4 weekly newspaper giving resume
Of local matters, crop conditions,
county affairs, etc. Sent anywhere
tor $1.00 per year.