Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1914-09-04
No NEUROLOGICAL Fiaure,

ors are used to it.
No NEUROLOGICAL Figure.
did you say that man looked like
a Greek god" asked Miss Cayenne.
yes" replied the romantic girl. 81
read that phrase in a book. Doesn't
he impress you that way"
No, | saw him in his riding trous-
ers trying to catch a horse
Discretion.
90, George, Georgie!" exclaimed
a fond mother when she saw her
small boy considerably battered up
and dirty, "ycu have been fighting
again! How often have l told you
that you shouldn't fight?"
"Well,' said he, what are you 60
ing to do when a fellow hits you?"
"Why keep out of his way said
the mother.
"Ill bet said the youngster, hell
keep out of mine after this"
A Parable.
Kansas City Times: A young art
list once persuaded Whistler to come
and view his latest effort. The two
stood before. the canvas for some mo-
ments in silence. Finally the young
man asked, timidly: Don't you think,
sir, that this painting Of mine is
well-er-tolerable?"
Whistler's eyes twinkled danger
ously.
"What is your opinion of a toler.
able egg" he asked.
Provided for Now.
Ladies' Home Journal: Bobby had
been taught to remember all his rela-
tives when he said his prayers. One
night, as he knelt at his mothers
knee, he did not mention the name
of a favorite aunt.
"Why, Bobby said the mother,
"you didn't say God bless Aunt Bea-
trice and make her happy"
"Well, MOTHER" replied the little
boy, 81 don't have to say that any
more. Aunt Beatrice's engaged"
What They Expected.
Detroit Free Press: "Ma, better
lock up the bathroom and get out the
old wooden tubs"
"Why, pa"
"And hide the photograph and
those 81 records"
For goodness sakes--"
"And while you're at it you'd bet
ter put away your fancy dishes and
get out those old blue things you
hate So"
whats getting into you, pa"
"We've got a few summer boarders
coming here from the city and we've
got to give 'em the sort of country
life they expect"
Invisible Logic.
Life: The railroad company will
put YOU on an elaborate train; duly
fitted with an expensive locomotive
burning expensive coal, and ride you
all night from New York to Pittsburg
for the sum of SO. The telephone
company, however, will charge you
$3.50 for riding your voice the same
distance during the space of three
minutes.
1t costs less to send a human body
of, say $50 pounds, plus a trunk of
$50 pounds, between these two points
and between other points than it
does to send four voices. A layman
must assume that a situation such
as this is based upon infallible logic,
but even a layman may be pardoned
for limiting that the logic is invisible.
Ye Fairy Admitted It.
Philadelphia Telegraph: The con
versation at a. recent social affair
turned to frank admissions when
Judge Joseph H. Gaskill of Mt. Holly
was reminded Of an incident that hap
pened in Camden.
A short time ago, the judge said,
a pretty young woman from Weno-
nah was visiting friends in the afore-
said Camden burg when she was pre-
vailed upon to assist at a bazaar. The
duty assigned her was to juggle
sweets in the candy booth. ,Eventu-
ally two young men rambled in that
direction.
"How much is this candy?' asked
one Of the young men, pointing to a
box on the booth.
Zone dollar" was the prompt re-
Spouse Of the Wenonah girl. IF you
don't care for that we have some for
SO cents"
"Say, aren't you a little dear?"
asked the young man.
"Well," unhesitatingly replied the
pretty one, that's what all the We.
nonah boys say"
Clippings.