The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-01

more thin ye think it's worth To make tn deal complete there must be sucker at each end With tn likes iv us tn sucker is always in tn middle.
 Hate th rich? Divvle bit 1 may invy thim. But there's lots iv people besides that invy. I invy Joe Tinker because he's a betther shortstop thin I am But I don't hate him. might if he previnted me firm payin' me little game v wan-ol-cat in vacant lot. An so might hate fellow if I saw him imply me cash registher in his pocket, give me lecture on me thriftess habits, tn boniness iv me head an tn wickedness iv me life, an go out bangin' tn dure behind him. But if he'll on'y lave me alone to comfort mesilf with tn thought that tn throuble with me is that in tn rafle I dhrew head diff frent firm his, I'll let him alone. Listen to reck less agytators? Ye bet I do. I listen to hand organs too. - Does tn gItleman in Boston want to cut me off firm me harmless amusements? listen to tn reckless agytators an tn organ grinder with tn same injyement but nayethcr iv thim can make monkey iv me.
 Us light hearted fellows injye tn perse- cutin' iv tn rich' says he. Iv coorse we do An why not' It's a nachral kind iv poplar amuse- ment Whin rich man is snt to jail tn news is read with pleasure, not because amy wan hates tn poor crather. Ye laugh whin ye see a fellow with high hat on his head an dimon in his shirt front prancin' along tn sthreet whistlin' waltz an steppin' on piece iv ice an goin' up in tn air an comirf down on top iv his i'm peeryous tile with gaiter pinted east be south an tn other north be west. But ye don't hate him. Not you. Ye may not aven considher tn justice iv his punishment. Ye just laugh, an tn prouder he is an tn stiffer he walks tn fun nyer he falls. But beyant ben a soorce iv in- nocint merrymnt as tn pote says, tn trroublcs iv tn rich with tn departnint iv justice don't inthrest us.
 If I was millyonaire, which l wud've been if kindly nature hadn't carved me bean tn wrong way, tn la-ad I'd be afraid v wuddent be tn proolytaryat who might give me lick with his shovil if I bumped him on tn sthreet Mo- sir, tn fellow that tn big rich man ought to be scared iv is tn little rich man. He's tn la-ad that all tn laws are made fir that give tn captain iv industhries his bumps. Ye can't tell him that tn reason he aint rich is because he ain't rich. He can't tell retail grocer that nature made him retail grocer, that whin tn ordher came in f. another retail grocer nature wint to shelf an picked him out an snt him into tn wurruld. No, sir, tn little rich man thinks that tn money tn big rich man has is his. He can pint out where clumsy attempt has been made to rub out his initials on ivry dollar bill He can iden- tify parts iv his own skin that come away witt, tn money whn it was ture firm him be tn Standard He company He is ready to swear that while walkin down tn sthreet he met lawn Dough ladn dollar that wanst was his but dis appeared wan dark an stormy night He says that tn little pet parked with joy at seen him an thried frantcally to escape, but lawn wudden't let him. An he has lawn up in coort an tn judge decides that he must go to iail maybe some day, but he can keep tn money.
 They remind me iv fairy story that me frind Nussbau1ner told me- Tn Germans ar-re tn on'y people nowadays that believes in fairies That's why they are continued to be Germans.
 "I don't know whether this fairy. story iv Nussbaumers is an ol' wan or whether it hap pened to him or to some wan else, but annyhow it wiat this way: Wanst upon time there was young fellow in Germany that was colledge