Omaha daily bee., 1914-10-05

who has IL bad. II
scizcs upon tho friend whose hand has
ID and clothed II, OF wsyiays a perfect
-tranFor with equal disregard OF their
feelings. and, without single pang OF
conjunction slowly borcs them q
death.
Just when and where this terrible crca-
ture first originated II has been impos-
sihle to ascertain. II evidently. how
ever, goes back 60 a very remote period.
for history mentions a number Of nota-
Bile specimens such as Petrarch and
Laura, Hero and Deander Romeo and
Juliet, etc. etc. who appeared to have
gotten In their deadly work in their
vicinity in ages long ago.
II appears the Lover In extremely at
tractive as II is very gay colored. and
spends much time in keeping it's coat
sleek and glossy. and It's paws in nice,
squeezable condition. This care OF APP
pearances is particularly noticeable in
the elderly species. the females even
going so far 10 dye their hair and
paint their faces in an effort TO look
sweet ie while the males adopt a most
amusing dandifed air and are arrayed
like Solomon in all his glory. Indeed,
the elderly male Lover has one peculiar
ity that should have attention called TO
Il in this connection. I. e., as long It's
mate is alive II presents a dingy, moth
eaten, NANCY appearance, but the min
ute she dies II Immediately sheds it's old
coat and comes forth looking spick and
span. and ten years younger.
The habits Of the Lover are very
strange and totally inexplicable to intel
llgent people and lead 20 the belief that
the creature Is blessed. at best. but with
n feeble mind. II seems to find its chief
occupation in billing and cooling and
holding hands. One historian OF unim-
peachable veracity notes that he wit
messed a couple OF ordinary common. OF
garden Lovers. who kissed each other
20 456, 7se times without pausiug for
breath. or stlmulants. II wouls be diff
foult TO accept these statistics, except
that they are borne out by figures com
piled In Central Park. and on Coney
Island boats. and other favored spots
for making Marathon kissing records.
Another common custom OF Lovers,
and in which they appear to take great
pleasure, is that Of the female extending
toward the male her bunch of digits.
which he Immediately clasps In a stran-
Pater FsmIlias has accumulated much
interesting data on this subject by OBJ
serving two Lovers female whom he
called Daughter and a male whom he
called her Beau, who would sit up thus
for hours at a time with their fins
locked.
This same authority deems lovers alb
solutely idotiC. as he said during all OF
IA 81
conversation. or an interchange OF ideas.
that he debated would be a gurgly little
sound that he ascertained emanated from
the male, and that indicated, zoos
ducky Is oo7' To this the female would
reply. II Is 90 ducky After which
would be silence Then the female
would say. 100 Ia too booful to live,' a.
though the male in question was a runty
bandy-legged little creature that could
by no possibility have approached any
artistic ideal Of pulchritude. This CON
versation. II 50 it may be termed. says
Pater Families. would be kept up from
either until u o'clock, when he would
have TO kick the Beau out OF the house
whereupon the Daughter would go off
20 bed weeping.
A popularity OF the male Lover that Is
also worth noting is that Il has no regard
for money and prefers TO spend It's hard
earned dollars on candy. flowers and
theater tickets rather than on something
useful You may often observe one at
night, out with a fluffy pompadoured
creature in lace and Jewels. nibbling at
terrapin and champagne at a swell Broad
way Lobster Palace. and then see march
ing up for the next three weeks 20 the
feed trough of a cheap quick lunch joint
Tor it, own provender.
IL lie also very smisble 70 the female.
and will let II lead II around by the nose,
and make II fetch and carry. and jump
through the hoop, and perform any sort
of parlor trick she fancies. This COM
plsisanoe lasts only until after the mating
however, when the female generally has
20 pay for the violets and candy she has
had by cutting down on her dress bill
This frequently leads TO family fight in
which much damage Is done.
The habit OF the female Lover is not