The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-04-26

inashecn shops with lot IL bows studvin'
Fr-rinch in wan part IL tn foundhrv an tn
ofhcers scttn around tn dinner table an savin'
to each other: Don't touch that sasprillv.
Percy it's corkcd'
Sure there's NANNY another old fellow in
other thrades thin tn sea wrd be SURPRISED if
ne come back an found how things has changed
since tn days whin gintleman was not GIN
teman If he wasn't cross-cyed by sivcn O'Clock
at night. King Alcohol no longer rules tn sea
or tn land TIL ladies have got that binivolint
Of dishpot on his knees begin f'r mercy an
they're sayin to him. Did We have mercy on
u.s.: an ARE gettin' ready to chop off his
wicked OIL head. Take dhrnk me boy, wheth-
er We need it or not. Take it now 1t NAV be
yeer last. used to laugh at tn prohibitions
lists; l used to laugh thin to scorn But
laugh no more; they've got lis on tn run. |
wudden't be surprised at amy minyit if I had
to turn this emporium into an exchange f'r
women's wurr1k Whether We like it or not. in
few years there won't be amy saloons to lure
tn marrid man fir IN his home, furnish guests f'r
our gr-reat asyluns an jails, an brighten up tn
dark sthreets with their cheerful glow. ! don't
care. / wudden't mind if all til liquor in tn
wurruld was poored into TIL lake Ii wud make
people pay their wather tax with lighter heart.
But what I'd like to know is, whin all tn
breWeries an wine presses ARE shut down an
tn pizcned ivy fourishes on tn rooms iv tn
magnificent distilleries iv Peory, what's gon to
happen' This here moppin' up iy alcohol /.
quarc thing an | can't make it out I've been
studyln it f'r NANNY years an 1t looks to me
like kind iv way men have iv shakin' off tn
harness ~ civilization, tn same as We see an OF
horse whn he is turned loose in pasture kick
up his heels an roll in tn mud an tn older he
is tn more ondignifcd he looks doin' 1t. Hogan
says that liver since man wint around with nav
him on him but apron made iv skins he has
,urrowed in tn earth an climbed threcs to find
,omething that looked innocint which ne cud
.onvart into booze. He says pigs an men ARE
tn on'y crathcrs that take nachrallv to alcohol
lie says there amt hardy anything that grows
on tn top iv tn arth that can't be turned into
this wonderful karosene It's made out iv
sugar cane, wheat, corn potatoes grapes, oats.
palm threes, cactus, mares milk, beets, apples,
carrots, rice, or artichokes an man wud make it
out Nv mornin' glories egg plant, or rubber boots
if he cud find nawthin' else Hogan says that
in times gone by, whin our ancestors had no
more thin shed their tails, they wint out an
broke open bee hive, absthracted tn honey, an
afther givin' tn Of lady enough to spread on
tn chdher's bread they stewed tn rest up into
a juice that made thin go out an attaclst tn
village constable with a stone hammer Hogan
thinks alcohol is nicssry f'r man, so that now
an thin he have good opinion Nv himsilf
ondisturbed be tn facts. He says that if men
didn't have alcohol they'd have Mysteries, like
tn ladies' He says that whin tn distilleries
ARE closed down. as they surely will be, men
will be FORCED to make their own drinks an
they'll do H. Yell see citizen goin' into his
home with bunch iv sugar cane undher his arm
or maybe some artchokes or bag v potatoes.
an tn next thing we see iv him he comes out in