The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-12-31
UNIVERSAL SUFFRAGE IN SLANG
ChautauQua Paper By Paddy


One of the greatest problems that confront the
different countries of the world today is Woman
Suffrage Face Powder Government The OBJ
ject of this paper not to set forth several pages of
dry facts on why women should or should not vote;
but to present little of the funny side of tie prob
lem, should it happen that man falls asleep at
the switch, and the female special whistles past on
the main line before he comes out of his slumber
1t seems that England was selected first as
grazing ground for this Suffrage Worm and Mrs.
Pankhurst the first victim to be exposed to the
political bug Film, and to let the country know that
the negative satisfactory. She Immediately
caused of prosperity to submerge the Brick
Makers Trust and started them working overtime
in order supply her and her followers with boquets
5 to heave at the dome of the male population.
About the first law that will be framed and passed.
should the government get hobbled to apron
string, will be law governing the time Of night
that the meal ticket will have to be home and in
bed. No more of those good old a. m. business
engagements where you met at the door WITH
Gracious, dearie, you must be awful tired, and
go right to bed; but if you not at home at
the call of the curfew BELL the first that you know
you have the right number, is when something
bounds off your bean and you spill yourself on the
hall floor while the stars play tag back and forth
past your half conscious vision and wife puts in
hurry up call for the croaker undertaken to come
and take an inventory, she may ascertain the
damage she has done but it must be admitted that
shirt waist politics will have it's good points
less off set it's drawbacks for instance, if some
hen-pecked youth gets all smeared up with calf love
of those political Skirts but amt got the
hardheartedness to get out and declare himself why
he cake walk her down to the polls on election
day while he votes the straight pink ticket with the
little red bow the just to show her what
good thing incoming his life away just to heave
itself away at her ninty-fv cent oxfords. On the
other hand it would be very foolish caper for
married man to take his wife who is noted for her
jealousy and bread baking than good looks, down to
see him cast his vote, and the first greet him
would be peach of a drug store blond, who
halls him with right this way deary' or where
did you say you lived?'' Under the circumstances
there no doubt would be a game of female tag with
him 1T. 1t to be safe bet that if apron
is used to cover the national governing power
and women ever get mortgage on the ballot box,
about the first thing the bushing bride will do after
she gets to the two light housekeeping Install
ment flat is to ask the pie card if he has taken
correspondence course in dish washing and if there
is any orphan asylum handy where they could adopt
couple of children, if he is machinst enough to
operate nursing bottle in baby wakes up
while she out trying to solve governmental
ownership, how to keep rats out of the garnet,
how much the president of the meeting paid for her
bonnet