davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
HocUs FOCUS OF ROMANCE

From Toujours Shaw by George Jean
 Nathan, in the June Smart Set.
 If we require any better proof of the fact that there is no such thing In the world as actual romance, need we look further into our hearts than the divers theatrical stratagems we consciously em- ploy to hocus ourselves into believing there is? Thus, we are ever fond of asso ciating gypsies with romance, when every one knows that gypsies are, as they al- ways have been. merely so many foul smelling, filthy, ignorant, drab tramps And Monte Carlol As prosy a card parlor as Dick Canfeld's old place in the forties. The only souls who speak of Monte Carlo and romance are the cockneys of the home fireside.
 And the romance of Paris under the springtime moon with the soft warm wind come down from Longchamps!' Oh, myself have written it-often! But only pleasantly to impress the folk who have never been there. And ''far-off prin- cessesi" Have you ever seen photographs of some of them? The last far-off prin- cess" meta Servian-was a gamey
 
 tache and penchant TOT green stockings kings size cigarettes and onions boiled in cheese.
 And the wonderful Blue Danubei A thousand migratory yokels have already given it's secret away-as wonderful as the Raritan, as blue as the topaz. And the romance of the high seasf From the shore And the romance of love- as if a man never stops to think that, when he makes love to a woman, what he is actually making love to is merely woman, half dream" as Tagore phrases it. But have done with such ab- surd schoolboy cynicisms. Spring Is on the world again, and the music Of quivering Vienna whispers it's way across the eastern frontier-and Hulda waits under the linden trees.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

Philadelphia doctors disagree over the "debutante sloueh." One eminent physi- elan ridicules the statement of Chica- go doctor that the position is nearer nor nal than the upright position of the human body. pr. R. Tait Mackenzie director of the department of physical ed- ucation at the University of Pennsyl- vania, says: There is no doubt about the effects of the two positions. The slouching attitude compressed the lungs thrusts the abdomen forward and is bad The 'debutante slouch' is fortunately a passing phase. We haven't been stand ing on our hind legs very long, and per- haps we find the position a little diff cult. for like all good things the erect attitude is hard to keep. But it is the correct attitude for human beings, never theless. It supports the internal organs adequately and it is healthful. shouldn't recommend a return to crawling on all foursi i
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
OZARK BOOSTERS
om the Southern Star.

From the Southern Star.
 A big booster flying squadron is being organized to tour Dale, Coffee, Geneva, tions of them, for the purpose primarily of advertising the Ozark chautauqua and secondly to advertise the city of Ozark. Fourteen automobiles have already volun- teered to join the squadron, and many more of the machines will likely go on the boost. There are about 40 machines in 20 on the trip.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
JUNE NIGHT

From the Baltimore Sun. These are nights when fairies fly ap6
 the magic spring Sits beside the hills of dream to hear the
 pixies sing; June night, when my lady dear Comes on feet of trance : All in the magic moonlight clear Upon the sea to dance. These are nights when nightingales their
 silver spell prolong. And love is in the bowers of bloom with
 lips of melting song; June night when the hearts in tune Through all times wonderment To music of the mystic moon
 In an azure Armament These are nights when life goes out to
 hunt the fairy tree, And soft as steps of silver dew the moon.
 light walks the sea; June night, when arms are clinging close And lips are ready. Miss, To crown the romance of tho rose
 With lyric of a kiss.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
TROUBADOUR AND JESTER
THE BACHELOR TAX.

I loved a girl that Time shall ne'er From my fond memory blot her; But should I pay out cash because The other fellow got her?
 New York Times He's got the mash, you've got the cash. Kick all you like, dod rot it. They're going to make you pay the tax Because he hasn't got it.
 Cleveland News Of all the things the Lord detests, The worst one is quitter. It's up to you to pay the tax Because you let him git her.
 Springfield Union Yes, go ahead and pay the tax, Iris best to be a bach, Than have some twelve or fourteen kids And for their living scratch.
 Florida Times-Union. Yea, be a sport and pay the tax. We hate ohear you below; The married buys they envy you The lucky bach'lor fellow
 Allentown Democrat Go on and pungle up the tax, It can't so awful be; Without a wife it seem you must Be used to misery.
 Houston Post. Just dig down in your jeans old chap, And pay without complaint; To uowe the debt-you lost your girl Because your "heart was faint"
 Commercial Appeal. Though somewhat costly you may think The garment take this tip: Pay the tax on what you got For she gave you the slip.
 ON WITH THE DANCE. A tangerine's a little fruit That in Morocco grows, But we've a tangorine with us That we judge by her toes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
LUKE M'IUKS SAYS

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
 Anyway, us common mutts have it all over the ball players. Our errors are not published every day.
 The old-fa shioned man who minded his own business and got rich now has a son whose name is William Goat and who has a hard time earning $10 per week.
 Anyway you never saw fat girl on a motorcycle.
 The reason a boy puts in three years learning Latin is because he will forget 1t in six months when he is trying to earn living.
 The man whose pants legs. are too short always has coat sleeves that are too long.
 Sympathy costs nothing. That's why we waste so much of it. There are too many people in the world who get a reputation for being good when they should have a reputation for being careful.
 Another reason for the high cost of liv- ing is that the $20 per week men all want to marry accomplished musicians and pass up the accomplished potato peelers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
GREAT TRIALS OF HISTORY
TRIAL OF c HARLES LEE

of Lee they would not have consented to an exchange in order to bring further trouble into the ranks of the patriots, nor further evidence Of his reasonable con- duct as exhibited at Monmouth. When Washington reproached Lee for his be- havior at this battle and sent him to the rear and after he had received two insulting letters from his subordinate officer, he placed Lee under arrest.
 Lee was tried by courtmartial upon three charges First, disobedience of or ders in not attacking the enemy; second, misbehavior before the enemy in making an unnecessary disorderly and shameful retreat; third disrespect to the commando er-in-chief.
 On August 12 the court had finished it's investigation and found him guilty on all three of the charges, but was lenient enough to only suspend him from com mand for one year. After a long delay Congress confirmed the sentence, but only by narrow margin.
 For a long time Lees conduct in the
 battle of Monmouth seemed utterly un- intelligible. On learning the sentence of the courtmartial, Lees spite against Washington became quite ungovernable,
 and his venomous tongue soon got him into trouble After sometime he ad- dressed an impudent letter to Congress
 and he was immediately dismissed from the army. Just previous to this he had been severely censured by Congress for obtaining money through British officers | in New York.
 l Upon his dismissal from the army Lee | found his chosen companions among the partisans Of England. Under the false colors of military genius and experience in war, he solicited a command; after his appointment he had given the reins to. | self will so that misfortune overlook his
 treachery. In/October, 17S2, sinking under
 a fever in a sordid inn at Philadelphia,
 Lee died as he had lived, loving neither
 God nor man.
 l In his will Lee expressed wish that
 he might not be buried within mile of any church or meeting house, as since his
 arrival in America he had kept so much | bad company in this world that he did
 not wish to continue it in the next. He was buried, however, in the cemetery Of
 Christ church, and his funeral was attend
 ed by the president of Congress and other eminent citizens.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
Improved Health of Cities

In recent issue of the Independ- ent Prof. William B. Bailey of Yale presents some interesting figures relative to the mortality rates of the great cities of the world. The figures invite comparison with the death rate which obtained in 1SS1-5 and that of 1910, and only cities of million pop ulation or over are considered.
 All the centers studied present a decrease in the death rate, except Mos COW, of over 20 per cent, and Berlin leads the roster with decrease of 41.5 per cent. New York improved, dropping from death rate of 27.5 to IS; Chicago from 21.5 to 15.1, and Philadelphia from 22.3 to 16.8.
 Among the foreign cities besides Berlin, Paris dropped from death rate of 24.4 per cent to 16.7; London from 20.9 to 12.7; Vienna from 2S.2 to -S.8, and St. Petersburg was SUD- posedly the most unhealthy city upon the continent, but the figures show that it is now surpassed by Moscow where the death rate has decreased from 33.3 per cent to only 26.9.
 In closing his presentation Profes sor Bailey calls attention to the facet ouk remark of the Englishman tha Since cities are so much more un healty than the country he wondered why people had never thought O. building their cities in the country.
 People, however, are bringing tn country. to town and with handsome large parks, expansive playinl grounds, all constituting the lung
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

A dispatch from Spokane states that cherries grown in the northwest will be prepared as maraschinos, the cherries cherry is white and is particularly
 adapted to the treatment which gives 1t the color desired by cocktail con- sumers. The cherries are colored and bareled at The Dalles, Ore. From there they are distributed throughout the coun. try. Maraschino manufacturers will take the entire Royal Ann crop of the north. west
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
The McAdoo honeymoon was ins
NEVER UsEn TELEPHONE

From the New i ork Tribune.
 T fss4 like a schoolboy again, and the feeling of freedom is fne," said Will liam V. Leary, for 33 years chief clerk of the surrogate's court, who submitted his resignation to Surrogates Cohalan and Fowler recently rather than change his way of conducting his office, which the surrogates decided was too anti quated for that busy place. The salary of the job which Mir. Leary relinquishe ed 1 is s10,000 a year, the highest paid chief clerkship of any public department or court in the state.
 The two surrogates are rapid work CTS, and MT. Leary, who is about 72 years old, had much difficulty, it is said, to keep up with them. The chief work might be made easier for him was, T resign"
 The resignation was accepted.
 MT Leary came into the chief clerk ship of the surrogates' court in 1881. He is lawyer, and it Is said that he never
 talked through a telephone and that he never rode in an elevator, for he used to walk the five flights. of stairs in the Hall of Records in going to and com ing from the surrogates court. Also, as far as known by clerks in the office. MT. Leary never employed any of the , stenographers when he wanted anything | written, preferring the old style holo- graphic method, and he never went out
 to luncehon, remaining all day in his
 office.
 Before Surrogate Cohalan and Surro- gate Fowler went on the bench MT
 Leary was often referred to as the third surrogate" He is regarded as | an expert on probate law and surro- gate's practice.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
ALABAMA PEACHES SHIPPED

From the Union Springs Herald.
 D. c. Turnipseed, owner of the O. K. fruit farm, has begun to ship peaches by express. These are bringing fancy prices. as early peaches are as general thing small and scarce on account of the dry weather. The variety being shipped now is the Mayfiower. Mr. Turnipseed thinks that he will not begin to ship in car lots before about the 18th of the month, when the Carmens will be getting ripe.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

John Smith, or Wa-be-ne-gew-we for more than 100 years chief of the Chippewa Indians, is in Minneapolis. He reckons himself to be 12S years old and govern ment records show that he was a boy 1f6 years ago. In spite of his age, Wa-be-ne- gew-wes is still mentally alert. His eyes are bright and his hearing acute. Many years ago he was a famous warrior for his people and took part in bloody fights against the Sioux for possession of hunt ing grounds.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

we were taken in charge by the Birming- ham Chamber of Commerce and shown over the city in automobiles
 The most enjoyable of the pleasures of the day, however, was the splendid ban quet rendered the visiting editors Friday night by The Age-Herald
 The Magic City undoubtedly deserves the enviable reputation it has gained for the royal manner in which it entertains it's guests on all occasions.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
HIS SEVEN AGES

From the Louisville Courier Journal The seven ages of man have been well tabulated by somebody or other on an acquisitive basis. Thus:
 First Age-Sees the earth.
 Second Age-Wants it.
 Third Age-Hustles to get 1t.
 Fourth Age--Decides to be satisfied with only half of it.
 Fifth Age-Becomes still more mod crate.
 Sixth Age-Now content to possess a ix-by-two strip of it.
 Seventh Age-Gets the strip.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
rD,roRs ENJOYED BANQUET

From the Albertville Banner.
 The meeting of the Alabama Press asso-' citation at Birmingham last Friday was an event of much interest to the fraternity and of great enjoyment for every one who attended Many matters of interest were discussed after the boys had ex- changes greetings and settled down, the question of equal suffrage coming up dur ing tho session. Late in the afternoon when all business had been disposed of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

of the community, and with improved tenement houses into which those lungs may breathe light and air the civic centers of this country and Flu rope are improving in sanitary con ditions. Ere long they may show but small degree of tagging behind the country
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
NEW posToFFIoE AT oNEoNTA

From the SOutHef1l De1nUcfHt-
 Oneonta has at last secured new post office building, which every one admits was much needed addition to our town. The building is constructed of brick with solid glass front and is 25x4s feet. It is nicely finished and is a building the peo- pie of Oneonta are justly proud.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

It is consolng to hear that the crack in the Liberty Bell will probably keep that historic relic from being carried about the country any more for exhibition purposes, like tattoced man or two headed girl.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

The cost of living may be lower in New York than elsewhere, as some economists are trying to prove, but the glitter of Broadway taketh one so that he can't keep from spending more money than he should.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
THE PRESS ASSOCIATION BANQUET From the Southern Democrat

Some of the members of the Alabama Press thought they were entering the pearly gates when they were ushered in to the banquet hall of the Birmingham Newspaper club S32 feet up in the air, last Friday evening. One member was heard to say he knew he was in heaven for he saw an angel and heard it sing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
Trip to IndianapoIis Speedway

"The greatest business in the world IS done by the company which owns the In dianapolis speedway said Thomas E. Morris yesterday. who has just returned from a trip north
 ''The speedway represents an invest ment of S1,OO0, GOO" he continued The business of the year is done in one day. The receipts of that one day amount to S4OO 00O in round numbers. The investors declare an annual dividend of 40 per cent.
 "I saw the races this year, and they were sensational. There were num- Der of more or less serious accidents. Many records were broken. It was a typical race between men and death The men won though the grim reaper was ever in the game
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

T. R. will travel like king abroad, equipped with a white pass" which will allow him to follow his favorite occupa- tion if 'butting in" anywhere and every where without being molested.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
Glad to Entertain Merchants

'grhe plan of the Chamber of Commerce to entertain the Alabama Merchants as- sociatlon, in convention in Birmingham August 26 and 27, strikes me as being very good" said a member of that body. "The merchants of Alabama are a great factor in the life of the jobbing interests here and should be shown every courtesy when they come to town.
 .The fact that the Merchants associa- ton has made Birmingham it's permanent meeting place should cause the merchants and manufact here to seriously con- slider the setting aside of a fund each year to entertain the visitors.
 "A good feature of the convention here is that local dealers do not attempt to make sales to the visitors. The mer- chants are here to get new ideas of retail selling of goods and should not be both cred with salesmen. While here they make many friends among the whole salers and they will see the name of the contributors to the entertainment fund. When the salesman of a Birmingham house calls upon the merchant to sell his wares, he will have much better chance than will salesman from Montgomery, Selma or Mobile.
 Its good thing to do, this entertain- ing of the small town merchant. Lett s keep it up, making the entertainment larger each year." p
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

The average salary throughout the ably explains why there are still a great many people in this country who don't own an automobile.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

BEGINNING THE DAY-O God, I rejoice that Thou seest me. I am glad that Thine eye restraineth me from evil, that Thou art aware of my burden bearing md my pain, that Thou watchest my battle. l am comforted and reassured and en- couraged when remember that Thou art looking at me. Amen.-H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

Cheap phonographs from Germany are being sold extensively in oriental coun- tries. respite the fact that sleep is highly regarded there.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

Huerta says he will resign when Mexico
 is politically pacified," which is equiva-
 lent to saying he will resign some day maybe.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

If you happen to be financially de- pressed just remember that the situa- tion can be explained by psychology
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

Even the most rampant feminists still to kill snakes and drive away cows.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
CAN'T RESPOND.

The trouble with most people is Along life's rugged, path, When opportunity does knock
 They're always in the bath.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
L,fe on shades Mountnin

life on the mountai,, is the life for me-" said Walter Fowlkes yesterday. We have lived here for a number of sum- mers We would not return to the city.
 'ln the beginning Mrs. Fowlkes did not look with favor on my suggestion of coming to the mountain for the summer. I promised her that if she would give this life a trial I would return to town in two weeks-provided she wanted to. We'll we spent the entire summer. The following summer we came to the noun tain early and returned late. The next summer we returned early and did not return. You could not pay us enough to live again in Birmingham
 ''The mountain is very delightful. It is always cool We have an abundance oi fresh vegetables and young chickens. Our children are healthy and happy. So, de spite that popular song which we heal at the Newspaper club. this is the lifs for mine.' |"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
Cattle Production in Alabama

Tt is now generally agreed among meat men that as good beef and pork can be produced in Alabama as in any state of the union, provided thoroughbred
 stock is secured and the necessary atten-
 tion is given to providing the best pas
 turage and feed" said a retail meat dealer yesterday.
 Birmingham dealers have been re- ceiving many shipments of local beef in the last few months, and as a rule the quality is good; but, of course, there are all grades of meat produced in this state. Where the best feed can be grown the best cattle can naturally be produced,
 and the black belt of Alabama affords some of the best pasture land to be had in any section of the United States. As bors in Tennessee who are in the stock raising business are now purchasing clover land in this state on which it is
 proposed to grow feed which is to be used in their own state to fatten their thoroughbreds. Alabama farmers, how ever, are awakening to the fact that feed that will produce good cattle in Tennes- see will produce just as good cattle in 1 Alabama
 MT. Charles R. Horton of Aliceville re-
 gently visited this city and incidentally l while here disposed of carload of young
 cattle produced on his great plantation
 which is located near Alicevile. MT
 Horton's cattle were thoroughbreds and
 compared avorably with the best quality l of western beef, and the Alabama planter expressed himself as greatly pleased witt | the price received the Birmingham market for his meat. Mir Horton stated
 that he was planning to change most ol
 his cotton land into pasturage for large
 herd of cattle, and that in his opinion i would be more profitable
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
OF COURSE.

Hez: How is farmer cawntossel get. ting along planting his wheat?''
 slias. "Oh. just SOW sow"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
INSATIATE.

INSATIATE She: q notice that the suffrag gettes ara after getting George "" He: ''Yes, and when they get hsm they will not be satisfied until they have the remaining four-fifths"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

ANCIENT FORAGE. Grimsby: Do you think centaurs fed upon oats or beefsteak?" Quimbsby: T guess they compromised upon cornbread."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

RULING PASSION Physician (soo B. CD: T have just been to see an ill centaur." Sage: What ails him? Physician: An acute attack of hay fever"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
The Iron Trade

Tn the iron trade production is being sharply lmited,' say Matthew. Addy & Go. in their Cincinnati report.
 April and May saw heavy declines in the output of pig iron and it looks as if we were beginning to get supply and de- mand about equal. Furnaces have been shutting down for two good reasons; first, prices are unproftable. and second, they have not been able to sell iron as fast as made Throughout the middle west foundrymen are running on an aver age about half time; many of the smaller
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

ENOUGHS ENOUGH. We thought up until yesterday The raincrowd lost it's voice, But since its liquid notes we've heard, A didapper's our choice.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

Now let's go hand In hand, not one before another.
 Comedy of Errors.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06

I loved a girl that Time shall ne'er From my fond memory blot her; But should l pay out cash because The other fellow got her?
 New XorL Tin, aa
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-06-06
ON WITH THE DANCE.

A tangerines a little fruit
 That in Morocco grows. But we've tangorine with us That we judge by her toes.