The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1914-06-11

called and motioned to the ship con-
duetor IN the other side. Incidentally
1t was raining, raining hard. And the
clouds were black and the wind was
muttering and the lightning flashing
and all the rest. The man with the
ferry on the other side was oblivious
to every effort to induce him to start
across for the passengers. Mr.. Burns
suggested to Mr.. Branson that he try
out some of the gestures he had prac-
ticed for his speech to the bankers
and this his obliging companion did,
but to no avail. The obdurate pilot
made it clear that he didn't pro-
pose to venture forth upon this for
mtdable river with q storm breaking
over his head.
1t was then that MI. Burns recalled
reading as a school boy of a certain
old English gink who led his army
out to the waves and ordered the
waves to fall back before him. He
wasn't just certain what the water
did about it, but, being Irish himself,
he thought it was up to some one else
to emulate the example of the Eng
lish ruler. Just what language was
employed in adjuring the water to
open and let the chariot pass through
on dry land, is not definitely report
ed. About all that can be ascertained
is that this very un-doubtful river
went on its way very much the same
as before.
The Halt
The Roosevelt party reported that
it was necessary to subsist on mon
keys in order to complete the sdiscov-
cry of the South American river. Mr..
Burns say that he is quite sure that
there were no monkeys along the
river they discovered in South Da-
kota-eXcept, perhaps, in their auto
mobile. He san vouchsafe nothing
more than that the price of four
slices of bread and butter along the
South Dakota river is one dollar in
legal tender.
But it is understood that both are
ready to testify that, assbetween stay
ing all night in an automobile in a
persistent rainstorm without bread
and butter at two shillings a slice,
and buying the bread and butter at
the going rate on the Missouri river
bottom, they will take the bread and
butter every time. +
1t is not just clear whether or not
Mr.. Burns worked off all his. quips
and jests and humorous remarks as
POSTMASTER of the bankers banquet
while they were munching their
bread and butter, or. whether it was
afterwards. The best indications are
that it was afterward, on account of
the reluctance of Mr.. Burns to sus-
pend the eating operation for any
such trivialities as the delivery of his
little set speeches. And, besides, it is
understood, he pointed out that he
was asked to make latter dinner"
remarks.
Furthermore, it is ascertained that
each of the two travellers is ready to
say that ii at any time he wants 10
make a very short speech he would
like to be given the topic: What II
Do NOT Know About Mosquitoes at
All Hours of the Night Along the
Banks of the River 1 Discovered in
South Dakota"
The Return.
Such unimportant details as the
all-day journey out of the wilds of
the Missouri river bottom and back
to civilization at. Plankinton and the
arrival in Mitchell by train last even
ing at 10 O'clock, will probably not be
considered worthy of a part, Of the
forthcoming lecture on, the latest ex-
ploration of previously undiscovered
regions of the state of South Dakota.