davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1914-02-21
Awful Table
Manners
In Ten Chapters
CHAPTER y.


NJ your soap is SO hot that ii burn.
you, sarele it in the back Of youi
throat for little while This is muct
better than trying 70 hide it in youl
napkin like some people do
1 CHAPTER ,.
Il bone sticks in your throat. dc
not try to cough ii way across the
room. In modest manner fish for
it With your fork and above all things
don't make a fuss over it.
CHAPTER 3.
lf niece OF meat crawl Off yoar
plate. capture It AZ soon as possiale
and then sally snap it across the ia-
BE 10 your yis-a-sas This wil prob
ably make everybody laugh ana Viii
help yon to make The meal merry
CHAPTER A.
Il you bite your tongue don't r,p
out bunch Of cuss words 1t isn't
nice. Just let il hang out of the cor
ner OF your mouth for a few moments
until It has cooled off, IN this deli
cate way you can apprise the people
OF Your misfortune
CHAPTER ).
If you got a spot on the table cloth.
absent mindedly place piece Of
bread over, butter side down. The
butter will keep the bread from slip
ping off the spot
CHAPTER &.
II, during the meal, you have eaten
SO much that sou really must IN
button sometime ask to be excused
and do it behind the door.
CHAPTER :.
If an ice IS served. don't eulp it !
down as though you were unused to
it. Dilly daily as much as possible
in a bored manner Make soup OF it
by padding yoHr spoon around in 1t
This is considered distingue.
CHAPTER s.
# ron have desire TO use Tutti
i'ra'h, don't DO it between courses
II is usually employed before safe
noir. bh by rights it should not be
used until after stomach ache
CHAPTER ..
T pie il served eat the hide as
wen as tile stuffne By doing this
YOU won't cast reflections on eour
ios''s PASTRY.
CHAPTER TO-
If YOU spill your coffee in yourI
ieighbor's lap instantly assure him
nat YOU really didn't care for the cof-
ee anyway Tell him not 10 mind 1t
all 6i aMIlHEyI
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1914-02-21
ALL THE LATEST TALES FRESH
FROM FUNLAND

One day a little mouse fell into ;
barrel Of whiskey and was drownin.
when big eat came along. dragged
| him out and saved his life. Wher
the mouse had recovered somewhat
from the shock the cat said.
Now. Mr.. Mouse, I've saved youi
life, and yon really belong to me-
don { want to eat you now, because
just had my dinner, but | want YOU
TO promise to be around here tomor-
row morning so ! can eat you for
breakfast. DO you promise to be here
on the Job them
"You saved my life, said the little
mouse, and promise to be here to-
morrow morning
The next morning the cat was
around bright and early waiting for
the mouse to show W. But he was
nowhere to be seen. After !. while
the cat spied little hole in the cor
ner. He went over to it, and there
sitting safely inside he saw the little
mouse
'Do you call this eratitude?" saia
the cat Didn't You promise me last
night that you would be here for
Yes. did replied the mouse,
but you know / was drunk then
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1914-02-21

Necessities
What We need is more cheap ice;
~e have enough cheap skates in the
world
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1914-02-21

Two lrishmen are fighting, one i!
a large heavy man. ana one a it'll,
thin fellow The little fellow, aftei
long tussle, finally gets The bi.
one down, and starts beating hin
good. Let me up. let me up, cries
the big man from underneath. :"
should say not" answers the little
fellow from on top. II had too much
trouble getting you down"
Teacher-'Jakey. how much is twice
two?
Jakey-Twice two is fire, teacher?
Teacher-Jaker, go home and learn
to multiply.
Jakey starts home and meets Ike as
he is coming in. The following CON
versation ensues
Jakey-akey, how much is twice two.
lkey-Vy Jakey twice two is four.
Jakey-vel. if dat's all YOU know
don't go in der
lkey-Undt Wy not2
Jakey Because / just offered her
five undt she wouldn't take il.
An Irish baker is baking bread
when the bottom of his oven falls out,
but in the face of this seeming tough
lack he rushes across the street TO
cemetery and takes tombstone TO
take the place of the bottom of the
oven. that had fallen out. The next
day everybody brought back their
bread. because it read on each loaf.
Sacred to the Memory of Patrick
Mcclure"
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28

San Francisco hotelkeepers won't raise
rates in 1915. Righto, why try the i'm
possible?
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28

Windsor. Idleness is to-day, as always,
one of the surest breeders of crime and
criminals, and ii one were able to judge
of the manner of living of these two
youths he would say that time
had been allowed to hang far too
heavily on their hands. They were
old enough, presumably, to have
left school and to have become, en-
gagged in some serious occupation in or
der to give them right start in life;
vet they seem to have drifted around,
from city dump to secondhand stores
and where else does not appear, to ac-
quire the habit of idleness and to de-
velop all other habits which go with
idleness, finally to round up in the
court of justice on the charge of Staying
one of their fellow-men. 1t is a par
ticularly sad state of affairs and one
which society should do its utmost to
straighten out. This can best be done
by the acceptance of pleas of guilty OF
the lesser homicide crime and then by
placing the youths in an institution
where the restraining influence of the
law can be exerted to the utmost. In
passing sentence on the two respondents
the judge is likely to urge that the cor
receive and formative force of organized
society in its best form be allowed to
have full sway in guiding the conduct
of the two unfortunates. That done,
one can only hope that the youths viii
respond to the efforts in their behalf
while showing appreciation of the leni-
ency and kindness of the law toward
them.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28
TALK OF THE TOWN

1t will pay you Saturday TO come
to Vaughan's.
Have you seen Abbott's millinery do
partment
Try fresh fruit delight at the Di.
yersi fountain.
Something new in town Mt the Diversi
soda fountain, the Glasgow frappe.
Send your name and address for Nc
Call free fashion sheet service at
Knights.
Special entertainment at the glass
blowers tonight that will interest old
and young. Admission, zoe.
Tonight is the last night of the glass
blowers. Come and have good time.
Dancing commences at 20 o'clock
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28

The New York legislature elected Col.
Goethals to have charge of the Panama
canal for while longer, thereby doing
the country very great service. At
the same time it is admitted that May
or Mitchell is a very good Judge of men
that he should aspire to have Col. Goe-
thals at the head of the New York po-
lice department. 1t looks to us as if the
bigger work for Goethals at present is
at the Panama canal; hence there is lit
tie regret at the action of the New York
legislature in turning down Mitchers po-
lice bill.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28
TALK OF THE TOWN

Renfrew Devonshire cloth at Abbott's
Remember the opening at the Diversi
fountain to-day.
Opening of spring millinery Saturday,
March rs. Mrs. c. r. Wood.
Mr.. Morse is in New York selecting
millinery and garments for A. P. Abbott
& Co.
Have you tried itg What? Pineap-
pie temptation, with fresh fruits, l0c, at
DIVERSE Fruit Co.
Nineteen cent white and cream pleat-
ed ruffling; a 25c value; on sale at
Perry's on Saturday.
Saturday offerings at the Barre Candy
Kitchen; Chop suey, loo per ID; maple
and chocolate walnut fudge, l5c per h.;
orange and ginger jams, Ice; old-fash-
Toned molasses candy l5c per ID.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28

The Boston Transcript, which speaks
OF the "Fordmanac of Vermont who
chugs lazily in the geographical center
of the road for dozen miles of high
way is laboring under false impress
sion-the "Fordmaniac" is no more leis-
urely than the curvature of most of
the roads in Vermont demands. Faster
than that is too fast for safety on most
Vermont roads, and the owners of big.
high-powered cars from other states
might as well know it before they drive
themselves into kingdom come. More
over, it might be stated that the cour-
tesies of the road among automobiles
are as well lived up to in Vermont as
anywhere.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28

Backward, turn backward, of Time
in thy fight, give us girl whose skirts
are not tight; give us a girl whose
charms, many or few. are not exposed
by too much peekaboo; give us girl,
no matter what age, who won't use
the street for vaudeville stage; give
US a girl not too shapely in view; dress
her in skirts that the sun can't shine
through. Prom an exchange.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28

Col, Seely, secretary of state for war
AS they call it in the British Isles
probably will find it in his heart to con-
suit fully with the other members of
the cabinet another time and let them
take part Of the blame. 1t is rather
difficult carrying the burden alone.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28
TALK OF THE TOWN


heaug -to-Wehr mats NJ ADpott .
You will want one of those house
dresses on sale at Perry's for SOC each
Saturday.
Ten cents yard, special sale of all
linen crash, l3c value, at Perry's on
Saturday.
Did yon go to the glass blowers last
night? II not, why not? BE sure and
come tonight
Three dollars and fifty cents it is this
way, we have sample lot of children's
coats, 2, 3, 4, 5, years, made of excel
lent quality serge, handsomely trimmed,
and worth $3.50. For quick disposal
we will offer this desirable lot of new
coats for $3.50 at Perry's on Saturday.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28
THE ST. ALBANs HOMICIDE CASE.

THE ST. ALBANS HOMICIDE CASE.
The actions of those two st. Adams
youths both before and after their plea
of guilty of second degree murder in
killing an inoffensive Chinese storekeep-
er indicate that there is much to be de-
sired in the course of developing them
for good citizens. Steady work at some
particular kind of employment would
appear to be one of the most desirable
steps in the course of that development.
and doubtless they can be afforded such
employment in the penal institution at
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28

Governor Fletcher's attitude as to the
senatorship is being guessed at but can
mot be defined as yet" asserts the or
gan of the present chief executive of
Vermont. If this was put out as feel
er, it will straightway be learned that
it was placed on rocky, barren earth.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28
The Great Security Offered

purchasers OF National" annuities
should command the attention of inves
tors. No fluctuations of income, no care
no danger of loss. Collectible in any
part of the world. A permanent letter
of credit good as long as you live, as
sure as you live. National Life ms. Co.
of VT. (Mutual.) s. S. Ballard, genera
agent, Lawrence building, Montpelier
Vt.
Twenty-Five cent ruffling for l9c yard
at Perry's on Saturday.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28

They should move few Birnam's
woodpiles out to meet the Coxey army
en- route to Washington and see 'em
scatter.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28
wILLIAMsTowN
WASHINGTON
EAST BARRE.

See Graniteville news tonight for pro-
gram of concert in Miles hall.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28
UNREPORTED NAMES
OF HOSPITAL GIVERS
List Has Been Strengthened Out and
Added to During the Past
Week.

Names of givers for the Barre City
hospital building fund not heretofore
reported have been Strengthened out dur
ing the past week, and they are here
0iVap.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28
TNN2rSR
81 81 E 'aAl

If you have only a
BIO wing acquaintance
with our furnishing
goods department, you
know it's all to the
good.
In hose, plain colors
remain the favorites
with clockings in self
color or white.
In cravattings, color
RACES; only the man in
mourning avoids rain
bow effects. Our new
spring assortment can
give points to the color
chart.
In collars, the point is
to wear long points.
In gloves, never bet
ter value. Good ones,
$1.51 up.
This spring you can
find in our boys depart
ment the cream of the
best New York ideas
for boys from three
years up. All the inno-
vations in style of col
lars, pleats, belts, cuffs,
patterns, models and
weaves.
Prices, So, SIS and
$3.50.
VISIT OUR
RUMMAGE SALE
We Clean, Press and Repair clothing
:. H. Rogers & Co.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28

The vaudeville stage has lost its Ham
let-B. f. Keith.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-03-28

IT'S a great time for revolutions--an
the Democrats have taken advantage of
it.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1914-12-05
DEAFNESS cANNor ne crREp

By local applications as they cannot
reach the diseased portion OF the ear
There Is only one WY to cure deaf-
ness. and that Is hy constitutional
remedies Deafness .- caused hy en-
lnaamgd condition 90. the mucous lin-
ing OF the EustaohiAn Tube. When
this tube is iunam,d you have a
rumbIng sound or Imperfect hearing.
when 10 Is. entirely riosod. Deaf
ness Is The result and unless the in
nammation can be- taken out and this
tube restored to its normal condition,
hearing viii be- destroyed forever,
nine cases out 90 TEN are caused ny
Cat1rrh. when is nothing but an iu-
famed condition OF Che mucous sur
faces.
We Will give OHe Hundred Dollars
for ans case q Deafness tcaused ny
cltlrrnl that cannot. ue cared hy
Hail Catarrh Car. send Tor 1it
GUITARS. free.
T.. J CHENEY a CO., Toledo, Ohio.
Sold by Druggists. lEr
Take Halls Family Ills for cons',-
patton
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1914-12-05
The Limitations of Silage


sWeotcnin.'' ou the ground that moth
ing Was TOO goud for the preacher, and
believing that nothing Vas better than
molasses Tor -W|ceteniug thereby over
stepping the limitations of ever the
best grade Of Wol1ssos. While alfalfa
is % good thing. 90 has its limitations
lt makes tho yotl best quality ~ hav
known ou the markets ut me world
ana Vet We would not like Co feed "a
driving horse uu b. nor would We like
tu feed anything on 60 as am exclusive
diet. ~ needs Go bee balanced up with
some grain. aud when used for growth
OF |iatteninE. that grain should Dee corn.
because their limitations are exactly
opposite. and hence ONE balances ui
the other
Horses have their limitations Tho
roadster IL limited lu one direction,
and The drau horse in another So
with an kinds 90 cattle. Pa tact. limit
alton b. tho law OF nature both IN men
and animals and plants.
We started out to talk about the lm-
itatiDus OF si.gc. and iell into our hab-
q of ErucraliEtng or ThilusophiziuE. To
return 60 our text: SilaEc o. one II
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1914-12-05
wallace FarmerD

Every man mo- matter how sm 70 ho
pas Dee. nuT how good ho NAV bc nor
hat AN athlete he mas be. urycrthc-
s has his limitations DO De- mluglos
|ery much with people. they win find
out Iils urighbors viii sooner lr
tcr find DO uut Therefore ia ls a. wise
hing for the man Go tind il out hir-
DO and NOT undertake anything be
bond his limitations
Every crop has its limitations. even
|uch q splendid crop us corn. which
ur foreign n%eighbors cali 'muiza 20
ou can not give too much of Il 20
|igs without checking their growth
uu IAN NOT fow too much OF IL con-
Iuuuusly ever ON the best corn land
ithoui change, without wasting the
ui your soil lou can rot grow
too frequently on the same grouno
IN an Wise Creator has provided in-
|ccts pests which rcndrs your work
aTrely unremuueratRc
Nc once knew O. good old lady who
vas yerV fond 81 molassss When n
'ertniuinE the preacher. she nllcd his
.offee cup half nun Of this "lonE
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1914-12-05

That gunu.. Mack. the h1s. ..I
wlnrd. can .gf l team af u.nr mon
into tG, HriI. uaf nus 90 whom ,.r
touched Ia drop 1f iluor lra HuI .He
a. hum t.uN. tbr flst. uf .H....O.
was the statement ut Ira TN.uI
.lt. her for th, P~hIadelnhn A.h..l
honor .f fa. Americas HHi >HrHr.
fIr west Tine NHi1lcIuHII FI." 600
kuan Gao tasI, .. ilgHDr, afa .H
or, ha. over 1-,I tobacco. '.f..n
ta Th. uss who dneIl upon fu. -.
.-.. u -onr.st1 players ..a
national Etmc.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1914-12-05

pr,asbcrs MANY 70 preacher does enc
work 500 building 800 70 congregation
but finds Die limitations uu teaching
Sabbath after sabbath and aprItluE
the Fundamental principles of chris
tunIty, aud his limitations Will hr rr-
Eealcd ll Dee undertake to conduct i
revival ON the other hand MANY
successful rryiNalist would make
poor pastor Tho people would soon
find uut his Limitations Their, lIr
Limitations fa everything and e.rrf-
body. Tho best thing We can du ls fn
rud them uut bcfur, other people &c.
Corn .silagc is not tho 0uly thing chat
has limitations.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1914-12-05
chief" BENDER IS
LATEST RECRUIT
TO FEDERALS
Great Pitcher of the Ameri-
can League Champions Last
Star to Be Captured by the
Outlaws.

philadelphia. Dcn -Dh.eg Ale
oert o. Bender, pitcher o. .ae IH.I-
adelphI1 American league hampton
to-day s.snod "a contract with .ao Fea-
cIiI league
Bender declined tu sas what t,lm
Dee u4l play with. or @. discuss ,n.
matter but iu baseball circles BE- was
positively stated that he viii wear H
Federal league uniform next gear.
Bender Was under contract with the
local American lvlsu. teIm, 1H
EFFORT had recently been made tu .Is-
pose Of his services
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1914-12-05

kumor has Dc .naf Harry Davis IS Orb
De- manager of tH. Athletic u'N.
gear. and hat Connie Mark v.N no.
tire connie s uaU D ser cent uNn.r
of th, club. w.fb large shc1f .i
aates to meet That Is one of the rea
SON. hr vIl uot h.trken to suas.
uuns th1t De- pas H salaries hr
needs tho money. He is not afraid u'
the public. bs.tl-. they didn't -un-
port the club ta aus 'argc extent Iasi
season with "a world chamrloush.H
team ia their md.I Mack cau hs
urs out h0W he likely Co draw ans
more support by iH1atlug salaries ans
further.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1914-12-05

Dyspepsia Id Americas curse I1
restore digestion normal ve.sH. -HHi
health ana purtE ,uc blood. uss Nlr-
docks Blood Buffers Sold 40 al arIs
stores Price. $500.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1914-12-05

Phone O. Red Barn t1l ". copper,
for nrst-elass hacks and sarrlagaa
W. l. Trimbls = Co
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1914-12-05

Deans Rcguiets are recommended
hy many who say they operate easily,
without gripinE and without had after
2sc at an drug stores.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1914-12-05

Barney prcl fas- ven again und
leaguc meet viii suif for hi-
health iu the south
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1914-12-05
virginia Hotel

Under new management Thor
oughly renovated Uooms reason
able Phone ga
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-12-01
NO BREAK SEEN HERE.

TIE best Information obtainable here is
iaat there is no break between Mr.
Whitman and Mr.. Barnes. although there
- difference Of opinion as to several ap-
continents. one Of these is the selection
- Lafayette B. Gleason, secretary OF the
Republican State committee, as counsel to
llc Comptroller in the matter OF inherit
tduce tax apprai sals-a job paying $4,000
4 YEA.
This appointment will he made by
ComptrOllrr-olect Eugene NJ Travis. 1t
s expected that he will announce definitely
today that he has selected Mr.. Gleason
Nr Barnes favors Gleason.
Herbert Parsons and the county organ
'3aiion wanted the post to go TO Samuel
; k0'nig president of the Republican
county committee. Mr.. Whitman was in
C.aed 10 agree with them that Mr., Koenig
deserved the place.
NJ Travis had a long talk with Mr.
Whitman soon after the latter got back
i.om Hot Springs yesterday. Later MI.
Whitman said hc understood that Col.
Gleason was to get the job. lie did not
t"em greatly distressed.
The break then, such as II Is, is be-
tween NJ Barnes and the New York
county organization rather than between
Nr Barnes and Mr. Whitman. This is
nothing new, for county Republicans such
as Herbert Parsons and Mr. KOenig have
been opposing Nh Barnes for some time
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-12-01
SHAW URGES IRISH
TO ENLIST IN FRANCE
Says Prns>ian Military Machine
Should BE Shattered on
This Combination.
>rroai ca1i, be,polri 10 IN ~

>pe.n' Tdb'. De,p1fri N Tn So
Drrrr>'. wv --r;eorTFe RerNavs
shaw TIE fr'cudH.s Jot1Hal makes an
appeal To- lrishu,u To- JOHN Fiauc. iu the
struggle against rrussiau m.litari,m. He
SAYS:
Though htN, uo sort Of antipathv
to ;he Germans. -cclrd ~ as mat
ter Of cardinal Importance To western
democratic civilization. 10 all the most
hopeful clements iu Nh, revival OF zeal
national life in ireland. that the prussian
military machine should be- shattered on
thu resistance ut French republicans and
lri-hmeu. vino have broken similar dOmi-
ration in their own country
And If there was ever AN institution
on earth that has stronger claims 10 the
mplacahlc political hostility of every cX-
treme democrat and republican than
Dublin Castle. that institution - Pots
dam" continues Mr. Shaw
"lf the English are willing 20 stand by
their old enemy. Is ireland going To turn
its back on its OLD friend II Fon'enoy Is
to be fought over again, viii the Irish
Brigade b tray is old comrades, the
French, for the sake Of Prussia"
Il invite tho Irish papers 10 write Sc
dition' - between England and ireland
until they are black IN the face and
their opponents are rcd in the gi.ls II It
amuscs them. but as between the Irish
cause and the cause Of western demo racy
they mus: not come down on the side of
the Turk and the pruss!an miltarist
autocraCy"
MIR SHAW suggests that an Irish brigade
should JOIN the French army direct.
AS practical difficulties have made
strong appeal to the War once 10 do
away with the silly and useless oa'hs
which stick in the Threats Of Irish re-
a.. H. Lot To ST, ft1
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-12-01
GERMANS WEAKENING.
French Report nis Gnins-N pres
Destroyed L., \rmorrd Train.

i'NEIS, NOV go Tho following official
statement WIS issued here io-uirht urd,r
,h, trr..
TO-" "' aus '''"t "''' "'N o'-
'H.itN "l the irohi iI"ul \oN"mn'r y
60 \uNrmh'r % The statement SAYS:
"Tl. general situation has unt ma
,.r.,,,y ..r.,,..l j.. .h.,, ro,,.d ,r,o
''
'''"'N MS ""'" "''"S'H OUT W p'I
attacks without result cur counter
attacks have inflicted on him heavy loss, .
and HAY, broueh, some rains IA our.
s.t,,s
"troIn th. So, 10 tho I.,s tho att,,ks
.f IN. ,.,n,, b,,n h,ar v,rv n,,.,r,,,
f.u -. tnr ri TN, am and rho o5,b
silent