The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-08-06
THE WIDOW FUNNEL
BY J. C. PLUM M Err.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
With the companion slide closed and
with an air Of mystery on their
bronzed countenances, Captain Drake
and his mate, Mr. Simpson, peered at
piece of paper that lay on the cabin
table alongside of a canvas bag. The
document contained the following
words:
Barbados, June 10, 1S-. Being
sound in my rigging but badly stove
as to my hull, and going to pieces, |
John Funnel, of the brig Ibis, leave
! to my friends Abel Drake, master of
the schooner Patty Clay, and Job
Simpson, mate of the same craft, the
sum Of $500 in gold, the same to be
held In trust by them for one year. II
my wife, Mary Funnell, mourns my
death and does not marry within that
time, the money is to go to her. If
she does marry within a year the $500
IS to be divided between the trustees.
My wife is to know nothing of the
! trust.
JOHN FUNNEL"
Ten months gone, and she's no
nearer marryin' than she was the
day after Funnel died." complained
Captain Drake
"Good-looking woman, too, and a
thousand dollars insurance money"
mused the mate. What's the matter
with the men, Id like to know"
There's old Pete Jobson," rumina-
ted the skipper Hes widower, and
all women take to widowers. I'll take
him up this very night"
When the skipper returned just be-
fore midnight, the mate asked anxious
ly how Peter had acted
Never had such time" grumbled
the captain. Peter and the widow
sat and talked about their dead hus-
band and wife, and cried like two rain
spouts. If 1t hadn't been for old Mrs.
Quigley, Id have foundered sure"
Who's Mrs. Quigley?' asked Mr..
Simpson.
An old aunt of Mrs. Funnells," re.
piled the skipper, turning in,
Things are Frightening" cried the
skipper, two days later, as he saw from
the deck of the schooner Mr.. Jobson
vending his way uptown. I'll bet he's
gon' to call on the widow I'll walk
up the street and see"
He returned In half an hour jubilant.
He had on his long.tailed coat, and
he furled his sails as soon as he came
to the widows house, and bore into
the door" he cried. Il believe the
moneys ours, job"
Then one morning Peter Jobson,
master stevedore, started in to load
the Patty Clay with -four and general
cargo.
! saw you last night at the Sea-
mans Bethel with Widow Funnel and
her aunt said Captain Drake.
Yes" replied Mr. Jobson, solemnly.
Shes very fine Christian woman"
Finally the matches Of the schooner
were battened down and Captain
Drake was about to 90 to the custom
house to clear her
"Good-by, captain" said Mr.. Jobson,
feelingly I'm obleeged to you"
What for?' inquired the skipper.
For takin me to see Widow Fun.
nell, explained the old man. Il read
In the Good Book that it's not good for
man to be alone
Well" said the skipper, shuddering
with eagerness.
I'm goin to marry again"
THE widow gasped the delighted
skipper.
Surely a month from yesterday"
Captain Drake vaulted over the rail
of the schooner like a deer and tum.
bled into the cabin.
It's all right, job" he painted
Peters going to marry the widow
month from yesterday"
The two trustees spent $40 for a
gaudily covered lounge, which they
ordered sent to the bride-tobe's house
Just rs days from date of purchase
date, accompanied with their card.
Just 80 days had elapsed when the
Patty Clay passed in the capes on her
return voyage from Porto Rico. and
when the pilot came on board Captain
Drake asked if Pete Jobson was well.
Married his second Wife" said the .
pilot, grinning. "A widow, too"
When the schooner tied up at the
wharf the two trustees beheld Mr.. Pc.
ter Jobson calmly experimenting the
unloading Of bark, and the exuberaut
skipper leaped ashore.
Congratulate you, Pete" said he
wringing the old stevedores hand.
Thank you and Mr.. Simpson for the
responded Mr. Jobson.
You got q good woman pata F." ,,;4