El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-03-13
FUTILE WARNINGSS1S
Adventures of a Crouch sgS%

IS NJ working q hours a dav now
! remarked the druggist. MY
clerk Is home with most of his
! person in sling. There are some deal
/ ly chemicals in this store. and / kept
them on a secluded shelf back of the
prescription case, where they would be
( out of harms way. I told Theophilus,
/ the clerk, a million times, to leave those
I chemicals alone, but when I went to
| lunch yesterday he began experiment
ing with them. There was an explosion
that fitted the building eight feet IN
the ar, and you can see the dent in the
ceiling where the young mans head
struck. Perhaps he'll paw attention to
warning after this
''He wont though observed the vii
lage patriarch. People never do profit
from experience. They say burned
child breads the fire, but it isn't SO.
People are always doing things they
have been warned against ever since they
were infants. Everybody ought to
know by this time that it's dangerous
to pour coal oil from a can into a stove.
when trying to make a fire. Our lead.
ing editors have been explaining. in
burning language, that this custom is
ful of peril, ever since kerosene was
invented. Every community can tell r
Net people continue to pour kerosene
into their stoves. and then the neigh
bOrs have to leave their work and take
baskets and gather up the remains
And you mustn't think that only
ignorant people are guilty of this crimi-
nal Tecllessness. Most of the folks who
misuse the coal oil can are educated, !
and they read the newspapers and maya /
zines, and are fully posted as to the /
dangers Of the practice. Take old Boss /
hammer. for instance He's generally /
admitted to be an intellectual giant. He !
used to be the finest looking man in /
town. He had big white beard like a 1
Druid, and a complexion like a girls !
One morning he undertook to light the |
Kitchen fire, his wife being sick and he 1
deliberately took the oil can and poured |
pint or so of the life giving fluid /
into the stove. Of course there was
live coal there. When Bosshammer ra-
covered his faculties he was hanging
over the limb of a big cottonwood i'm
the back yard. and we had q dreadful /
time getting him down.
"And when he die come down he was
a sight to be seen. All his hair and 4
whiskers had been burned off and his
face was as black as your Sunday hat.
He's been washing that face ever since.
and has got it faded to a delicate drab. /
but it never VIII be as it was. His
whisl1ers have grown out again. but
they have a muddy tinge, and he doesn't
take pride in them any more No man
ever had a more severe lesson vet 7
feel sure that if he ever is called upon
to make the kitchen fire again. he viii
DIG up the coal oil can the first thing.
Warnings never do any good. How
often have we been warned against fool
ng with unlOaded weapons? It's char
of unloaded weapons that thew
are always loaded Everybody knows
ibis to be true, yet a man viii 90 home
N playful mood and take the unloaded
shotgun from the wall, and aim it at his
Just to show her what a
Merry Andrew he Is, and when we pick
Up the evening paper we arc informed
hat The excellent lady is no longer on
he map. One day [ was over 10 Jim
'ulsifer's, and he had a gun in his hand
lie was taking it to the barn to clean
t, and of course it was unIoaded. We
topped to look at a fine horse he had
ust bought. It had a white star high
lp on its forehead.
"Jim remarked that if he had tn kin
hat horse for any reason, he would aim
t that white star, and the critter wouId
all dead WITHOUT qulNer- 10 illustrate !
rs remarks he raised the gun. aimed il
t the star, and pulled the trigger. I
7ish you could have seen ,Jim's facn
7hen the horse keeled over as dead ~
Joah's pet warthog, without even a kick
lis theory worked out to perfection. vet
e didn't seem pleased. He had inst
aid $3.50 for the horse, and got 81 for
he hide.
"Yet if Jim happened to have an IN