The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-09-01
On the Spur
of the Moment
me Road to wealth.
BY 'R0Y3K. NOULNo11.

She practiced night and day upon
A new and flashy dance;
She invented it herself.
At last she got chance
To try 1t out in vaudeville.
1t wasn't very nice,
So managers made bids on 1t
And boosted up the price.
The papers knocked her little dance
And said It was not fit;
It,was indecent, SO they said,
There was no doubt of It,
Five thousand bones week she got,
And she was made a star;
She owns a chateau by the sea
And hundred horsepower car.
She's got a splendid rope of pearls
And diamonds by the pound;
All gifts from princes. dukes and
Who keep a'-hangin' round.
She's going to quit the dancing game
And tackle the 1egit.
Ambition calls for Shakespeare now,
Sure! She'll make a hit.
Our New House.
Having nothing else to do the 9TH
err day, we bought a house. 1t Is
nifty house and was built after plans
drawn by Michael Angelo, cement by
the cement trust. shingles by the lum-
Der trust, windows by the glass trust,
electric effects by David Belasco.
chimney by the brick trust and hinges
by the hardware trust. The ceiling de-
corations are by Rubens, and the
mural decorations by Mr.. Mural him
SELF
The house contains all the modern
convenience. including stretchers,
bathtub, kitchen pump horseless
piano. fly swatters,s wringer. chimney,
door bell. front stoop, windows. floors.
stafrways. mouse trap. back scratch
ers. nutmeg graters, electric natiron.
sink, ironing board, flour barrel and
a looking glass in the bathroom.
The agent assures us we can, in a
year, sell our house for eight or ten
times what it is worth: which: Of
course, IN q contamination greatly to
be wished. Anybody who wants to
pay US eight or ten times what 1t is
worth can have 1t, even now, without
waiting the year.
The house is very conveniently ar
where it is out of the way. and the at
tic il away up under the roof, and
not on the ground floor. where you
would have to stumble over It all the
time as you do in low-browed bung--
allow.
Tribulations of an Editor.
The trials and trtbulations Of a coun-
TRY editor are manifold, but are borne
with fortitude because the country ed
itOr has q sense of humOr. The recon-
penses of his life are many, however.
and one of these came to one of them
IN the. shape OF -Luc IOhOWluE lcIteE
from an old subscriber:
I've stopped the paper, yes. I have.
didn't like to do it,
But the editor he got too smart.
And allow he'll rue 1T.
I am a 1nan who pays his, deb.s, .
And will nit be t3p4ailted; ~
50 when the editor gets smar..,
l want to be consulted.
took the paper leven years
And helped him all I could. sir.
But when it came'to dunnin' me
I didn't think he would, sir.
But that he did, and you kin bet
1t made me kot as thunder.
Says I, I'll stop that sheet, will Is
| II the doggone thing goes under"
I hunted up the editor
And fer his cunnin' caper,
I paid him 'leven years and quit.
Yes. sir! 1 stopped the paper.
From the Hfckeyville Clarion.
Ez Binks expects to get a we'll earned
rest for the summer from his arduous
work which is that Of actin as juryman
in the justice court. Mrs. Binlks will
take the boardera as usual.
Deacon Stubs mule Hyacinth kicked
the postmaster one day last week.
thereby doing public service which
many persons in our midst had tried to
get up courage to do, for some time.
an the postmaster refuses to let pust-
age stamps go on circuit.
Hank Tumms stole the barber pole
which stood in front of Am Tilson's
barber shop and used It fer a hitchin'
post in front Of his house, but the con-
stable apprehended Hank as the guilty
party as Hank had forgot to paint the
pole over. -
Constable Ezra Hand is xettin'
busy now and says the carnival a
crime in our midst has got to STOP
Some culprit broke the glass in front
Of the peanut penny-in-the-slot ma
chine at the Huttel Hickeyvilles and
stole several handsful of peanuts and
| on the same night q. half pound Of
butter was missing from the icebox
OF the nuttel. Local talent is sus-
pected.
Uncle Ezra Harkins has taken on
his felt boots and people hereabouts
| are now beginning to look for sum-
mer as this is a. sure sign.
Mrs. Hold Peters gave her husband
some bird seed by mistake for break
fast food the other morning and he
has been hoppin' around and dappin'
his arms and tryin' to sing ever
SINCE.
| There seems to be about the same
amount OF Fourth OF July patriotism IN
our village as formerly. Everybody il
going out OF town to spend the day in
the woods. where they gan be alone.
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.
|
| IFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
| The fellow most addicted to wasting
time is he whose time is not his own.
| The girl who ID known as peach
Is apt to have :. heart Of the free stone
variety.
An optimist is a man who could lose
both legs and feel'that he has no kick
coming.
| No. 1Gaude, dear. It doesn't take a
baggage smashers to handle an ele-