The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1914-03-25
tipping you this wink

sort: Will not say whether 1t Is wise
or unwise, simple or grave, but certain
DrecedcntS have been established that
In certain companies the president
must leave the room first and people
must give way to him. They must not
sit down If he Is standing up. 1t Is a
very uncomfortable thing to have to
think of all the other people every
time ! get up and sit down, and all
that sort OF thing. SO that when |
get my guests In my house and the
public is shut out, | adjourn being
president and take leave to be a gen
tlcman. If they draw back and insist
upon my doing something first, | firm
ly decline. They are blessed intervals,
when | forget By one means or anoth-
er that am president Of the United
States.
Like Thief Catching.
"One means bv Which forget Is to
get rafting good detective story, get
after some imaginary offender, and
chase him all over-preferably any
continent but this, because the va
rious parts of this continent are be-
coming painfully suggestive to me.
The postofiices, and many other things
which stir "reminiscences have 'sicklied
There are postof1lces to which
would not think Of mailing letter,
which can't think OF without trem-
bling with the knowledge OF all the
heartburnings Of the struggle there
was in connection with getting some
body installed as postmaster.
Now, II | We're free, would come
not inlrcquently up to these rooms.
You know | was in Washington but
few times and for n very few hours
until came last year, and never
expect to see the inside OF the public
buildings in Washington until my
term is over The minute turn up
anywhere, am personally conducted
to beat the band. The curator and
the assistant curators and every other
blooming official turns up and they
show me SO much attention that
don't see the building. | would have
to say. Stand aside and let me see
what you are showing me-
Some day after am through with
this Office am going to come back
to Washington and see it. In the
meantime | am in the same category
as the National museum, the monu-
mont, the Smithsonian institution or
the Congressional library. If | only
sume-&pparcntly | can assume other
appearances that do not show what
Is going on inside-I would like to
have it pointed out also that I would
practice it before the looking glass
and see If could not look like the
monument. Being regarded as a ma
tional exhibit would be much simpler
han being shaken hands with by the
whole United States.
Likes Humanity.
And yet that Is interesting to me,
simply because like human beings.
1t Is a pretty poor crowd that doesn't
interest you. | think they would
have to be all members OF that class
mat dcvotcs itself to expense, regard
less OF pleasure, in order to be en-
tirely unintcresting. These look SO
much aliltc-spend their time trying
to look So much alike-and so relieve
themselves Of all responsibility OF
thought-that they are very monoto-
nous indeed to look at; whereas a
crowd picked up off the street is just
jolly lot--a job lot OF real human
beings, pulsating with life, with all
kinds Of passions and desires.
1t would be great pleasure if,
unobserved and unattended, l could
Dc hNOCkcu around as | nave been aC-
customed to being knocked around all
my life; II could resort to any de-
Lighfful quarter, to any place In
Washington. that | choose have
sometimes thought Of going to some
costumcr's theatrical costum-
er's-and buying an assortment of
boards roouges and coloring and all
the known means OF Disgusting my
self. IT 1t were not against the law.
You see | have n scruple as presi-
ent against breaking the law, and
disgusting ones self is against the
law, but If | could disguise myself and
not get caught, ] would go out to be
free American once more and have
a Jolly time. | might then meet some
of you gentlemen and actually tell you
what really thought
Tho president talked entirely In
formally. He wore sack suit and
stood with his hands In his pockets
as he spoke. He was in happy mood
md his remarks were constantly punc-
tuated with laughter and applause. Mr..
Wilson Is q member OF the Press club,
having been elected as an author long
before he became president Members
or the cabinet, Speaker Clark and many
ofhclals also were guests of the news
paper men.
The Forty Year Test.