The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-07-09


collective tourist.
l may be pardoned if digress at this
time to state that the party of one
hundred and sixtynine, both stern and
opposite, besieged my castle on the next
day but one, with the punctuality OF
locusts, and despite all Of my precau-
tions, all of my devices, all of my OBJ
jections, effected an entrance and over
ran the place like swarm Of ants. The
feat that could not have been accom-
plished by an armed forced was sue
cessfully managed by group of peda-
gogues from Ohio, to whom "Keep off
the Grass" and "No Trespass" are
signs of utter impotence on he part
of him who puts them up, and ever shall
be, world without end. They came, they
saw, they conquered, and they tried to
buy picture postcards of me.
l mention this in passing, lest you
should be disappointed More anon.
Punctually at nine o o'clock, | was in
the balcony, thanking my lucky stars
that it was bright, moonlit night.
There was every reason to rejoice in
the prospect of seeing her face clear
lily when she appeared at her secret little
window Naturally / am too much of a
gentleman to have projected unfair
means of Illuminating her face, such as
the use of pocket electric lamp'or any
thing Of that sort | am nothing if not
gallant-when it comes to a pinch. Be-
sides, was reasonably certain that she
would wear thick black veil. In this
| / was wrong. She wore white, filmy
one, but it served the purpose. natu-
rally concluded that she was homely.
"Good evening" she said, on open
| ing tho window.
"Good evening"" said 7, contriving
to conceal my disappointment. "How
| is the babyf'
Every much better, thank you. 1t
was so good Of you to stop the work
men,"
"Won't you take off your veil and
stay awhlef" I asked, politely face
tious. "It isn't quite fair to me, you
know"
Her next remark brought blush of
confusion to my cheek. A silly notion
had induced me to don my full even
ing regalia, spikets'l coat and all
Nothing could have been more ludi-
crously incongruous than my appear
ance, / am sure, and never felt more
uncomfortable in my life.
GLOW very nice you look in your
new suit, she said, and was aware
of muffled quality in her ordinarily
clear, musical voice. She was laughing
at me. care you giving dinner
Ipartyf"
~ usually dress for dinner I lied
with some haughtiness. "And so does
Poopendyke," l added as an after
thought. My blush deepened as l re-
called the attenuated blazer in which
my secretary breakfasted, lunched and
dined without discrimination.
''For Gretel s benefit, presume. "
"Ahl you do know Gretel, thens"
ooh, I've known her for years. Ism t
she quaint old dearq"
"I shall discharge her in the morn
| ing" said | severely. "She is liar
and her husband is poltroon. They
positively deny your existence in any
shape or form"
"They won't pay any attention to
you," said she, with a laugh. "They
are fixtures, quite as much so as the
walls themselves. You II not be able to
discharge them. My grandfather tried
| it fifty years ago and failed. After that
he made it a point to dismiss Conrad
every day in the year ana Gretel every
other day. As well try to remove the
mountain, Mr. Smart. They know you
can It get on without them.
~ have discharged her as cook, "
l said, triumphantly. ga new one will
be here by the end of the week. )"
"Oh," she sighed plaintively, show
glad | am She is an atrocious cook. |
don It like to complain, Mr.. Smart, but
really it is getting so that | can t eat
anything she sends up. 1t is jolly of
YOU to get in new one. Now we shall
he very happy"
"By Jove said I, completely stag
gered by these revelations. Unable to