The Lamar register., 1914-12-30
REFORMING MOTHER
By HAROLD CARTER.
tCopyriEht, 1914. by W. G. chapman)

fond Of mother. But father ID Simply
deari
He understands everything before
we begin to tell him about 1t, where
as mother is a little-I hate to write
the word, but it's naggy. OF course
she has had a lot of trouble. and
big family to take care Of consisting
Of me and Gladys and Emery and
Charles and Dorothy. So, as father
says We must be patient with her.
Mother was forty last month, and
we had a family council to decide
what to give her. We gave her pill
Iow-sham for the morris chair she
gave father when he was forty, and
when we had decided that we began
to take stock OF things.
Let me in on it, kids" he said.
whats the conspiracy"
Dorothy told ii. Dorothy Is fa-
Tiers favorite, though he denies it
so you're trying to reform moth
er. are your" asked father, looking
quite serious.
She's becoming a perfectly dread
full nagger, you know" Charles ex-
planned.
"Of course mother doesn't mean
anything" | said, but It does seem.
father. as though something drastic
ought to be done. Just to show her.
had just finished speaking when
black Tom Woolley went up the
street.
Tom is the funniest colored man in
winston He laughs for Ave min
utes when he begins. and it isn't pos
sible to help laughing too when you
hear him.
Children. have an idea" said IA
Their Suppose mother were little
upset, and heard Tom laughing
what do you say?'
Emery caught on at once. But you
can't keep Tom hidden in the house
ready to laugh whenever mother sets
fretful," he said
NO." admitted father, but what
about that old photograph that we've
all grown tired of? We might put it
in the table leg"
III give Tom quarter to laugh
into the machine" said father, and
the next time mother gets fretful I'll
start the machine under the table. ]
can get Willis to put on an attach
ment SO that the pressure OF the knee
will start It"
And now / must come to. the de
movement. II was dinner the follow
ing Sunday. and mother was a little
upset on account of the way things
were going.
ITO think OF that Bohemian horse
tab all ~ h.
said. What's the use OF getting
seeds and roots which won't grow
Adolphus?" chats father). Next time
l do wish you would go to = better
scotsman"
Father sat perfectly silent. and no
body dared to look at him. but l saw
him reach under the table and knew
that he was opening the stand.
Beef without horseradish isn't
tasty, to my mind" said mother. And
that reminds me, the butcher isn't
giving us full weight For the matter
OF that. all the tradesmen round here
think they are privileged to cheat US
The coal is simply gravel and grits
II only you'd shake them up. Adolf
plus, instead OF sitting there and smil
ing"
"Ho! Ho! HOl HoI Ho!" laughed
black Toms voice, and mother almost
jumped out of her chair.
'Adolphus." she gasped There's
that Tom Woolleyl Where is he? II
sounded in this room!"
"Ha! Ha! Hal Hal Hal" chuckled
Tom Woolley.
Mother cast one glance at our mirth
conyulsed faces and got up out of her
chair Indignantly. She looked behind
the curtains. in the kitchen, and in the
parlor All the while Tom Woolley's
voice went on laughing. and before
mother came back father had man
aged to wind the photograph again
"Adolphus!" said mother. where Is
he? What is the meaning OF this out
rage?"
'Ho! Ho! Ho. Ho!" roared Tom
and this time none OF us could restrain
himself any longer We put our
heads down upon the dining table and
Topped feebly, as we tried not to suf
focate. And father was laughing loud
est OF all
1T seems to come from underneath
the tablet" gasped mother. She
raised the tablecloth, and father
wasn't quick enough. Mother saw his
Lnaa nrasainu ho