davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grand Forks daily herald., 1914-12-22
~ A Few Humorous Stories n

when the horse became restless and
finally upset the car into ditch. The
judge asked the driver how Ions the
animal had been in harness.
Half an hour, SUR
II mean, how long since he was
first put in harness?"
"Shure, I've tould you - half an
hour. sur" answered the driver, ''an'
the rnasther said il he carried We safe
he'd buy him." "a
Excuse me-" said Bridget putting
her head in at the cashiers window.
"but do OF understand thot'yes lind
money here on character?"
Why-yes," hesitated the sashier.
'"Thin Ord loike $50, s1rr, on
moine," said Bridget, predicting a
number Of greasy references. ."They's
swim NV thin from me previous i'm
plyers--''
But the cashier had fed. The idea
of explaining the intricacies pf COL
lateral to a lady with seven char
acters was too appalling.-Juigo.
Among the Monday morning cul-
prits hailed before a Baltimore nagis-
trate was a colored man with 10 Wis
ible means Of support.
what occupation have you hire in
Baltimore?" asked his honor.
We'll, tedge," said Sam. 'IHain't
doin' much at present-jest circllat-
His honor turned to tho clerl of
the court and said:
Please enter the fact that this Sen-
tlcman has been retired from circSla
ton for sixty days" \
However. a man may not be MR.
| ricd and still have his troubles.
Grand Forks daily herald., 1914-12-22
could be cut SO per cent in volume and
improved quite as much in form, the
nation might be much better off.
In Or School
BY PAUL WEST.
illustrated by Moser.)
TUESDAY.

Genevieye Hicks roata pome abowt
Christpluss 4 brot It TO school this
moarning. We do not cair to encur-
ridge Gems porty habits, but as she
has held off till now without inf1ickt-
will oblidge her by presenting this
one, it goes:
o Christmuss is a plessurt time
For them which gets presents 6
things.
But o how unhappy it is
II nuthtng to you 1t brings.
The parients Of certin persons 1 know
Are so tender harted l. kind
That ti1ay will give them luvly things
& all thare bad behaviour not new
yer mind.
But IT thay got what thay deserve
Thay wouldent get toys & books &
gains,
But wishting to be descent
/ Will not hear ment on any Mains.
This may be a good enun pome. but
if Genevieve thinks she is going to
skare amy fellers by saying we doant
deserve amy Christmuss preasunts
she is rong. 1t is too lait, say we,
we knowing our. parients have aired
dy bot abowt all thay arc going to.
Boys Cheeted Asen.
Walt White g. Hen Van Ness got
oheeted out OF the money tT1ay was
going to maik Off Of Hennery Hood
the butcher for cutting Christmuss
trees for him yesterday.
Walt q Hen borreyed thare farthers
saws & hatchets 6 put in the hoal
which they lugEed all the way down
to Hennery's. two at 4 time. He s2d
tl1ay was splendid. eaven finer than
thoase up on his plaice WHARF he had
bot the rites to cut some. & he sed
1nebbe he would pay Walt & Hsn
n1oar than five sents apeacc which,
was the ferst prise he maid on the
trees. SO thay was fealing pritty
good by the time thay got the last
ones down to the stoar, It being prIt-
ty laft then, almoast supper time &
Hennery sed thay was all rite, &:
then he sed: "Now to show YOU ]
aint Hike sum parties In this stingy
villidse am going to keap my prom
mis- & pay you 8 sents each for thease
trees, & tomorrer # You have time
you mite cut me sum noar il thay ara
amy. thay being awful skarce this
got thease 2" Hen sed thay was oan-
ly a few, & Hennery sod, ''By the way
WHARF do you get thease, anyhow
Walt sed: "Why, up by Hadleys
HILL" Hennery ast him was it amy
WHARF mere the oald Morgun farm, &
Walt sed Yes. Mister Hood. that is
where we got these trees. nobody US
merry got mad & toa1d them to ret
out Of the stoar. & thav. sed, ..But
1oant we get pade for the trAes?''
you do not, you yunE robbers" Hen
merry sed, because the. Morgun farm
was WHARF pads rive dollsfs for the
rite to cut Chrfstmuss trees, & you
must think I'm an ijJut to pay you for
So what could Walt & Hen do but
get out or be kicked out?; ThaY are
prttty mad. though, h we doart blatm
them. becawse how did thay know
thay was selling Hennery his own
trees, say we?
Grand Forks daily herald., 1914-12-22

ed other expert. advice from state
university specialists in economic and
sociology, a very small part Of its ad-
vanced legislation has proved vulner-
able when tested by litigation.
This comment is brought by the at
traction of our attention to the fact
that Vermont's board of legislative
bill revisers is now in session in prep
sration for the session Of the legisla-
ture to begin next month. Its two
members, lawyers, are empowered to
examine all bills filed before the leg
islature meets and to make ready to
give such aidiTt drafting the final
forms of these pills as their prior
study and their SPECIAL personal quail
ifications fit them to proffer. The
hope OF the citizens OF the state, re-
flected in the formation Of this board.
was that thus the Legislative sessions
could be made shorter. This result
no doubt will follow; but SO will 9TH
er consequences already limited at.
Were there opportunities for COM
petcnt men to serve the states and
the nation on such boards Of revision,
or as permanent attaches of Legislative
bodies. no doubt candidates would
come forward who could meet the
necessarily somewhat rigid tests OF
character as we'll as technical profi-
cheney. Adequately paid, put beyond
the reach of spoilsmen and made to
understand their place as advisers
not arbiters-such persons undoubt-
cdly could be extremely useful to the
American democracy. now that re-
action is setting in and citizens are
realizing that laws, like men, are I'd
he Judged qualitively and not quan.
titively. If the legislative output
Grand Forks daily herald., 1914-12-22
DON'T FUSS WITH
MUSTARD PLASIfRS I!
Afusteroie Works Easier. Quicker and
Without the Blister.

B There's 10 sense in mixing UP a
5lmese Of mustard. flour ana water
when you can SO easily relieve pain,
soreness or stiffness with little clean.
white MUSTEROLE.
8 MUSTERQLE Ia made of pure oil
sgof mustard and other helpful ingredi-
.,ents, combined in the form Of 4
pleasant white ointment. It takes the
pace OF the out-of-date mustard plas-
ter, and will not blister!
y MUSTEROLE gives prompt relief
il from Sore Throat. Bronchitis, Tonsil-
ills, Group, stiff Neck, Asthma, Neu-
ralgia. Headache. Congestion, PleurI-
~. Rheumatism, Lumbago, Pains and
Aches of the Back or Joints, sprains.
Gore Muscles, Bruises, Chiiblains.
Frosted Feet. Colds Of the Chest III
: often prevents Pneumonia).
At your druggists. in 25c and soc
Jars, and special large hospital size
for $3.50. :,
BE sure You get the genuine MUY-
tTEROLE. Refuse 1lnitationD-
tswhat you aAk for. Tho Mustefofs
L company. Cleveland. Ohio.
Grand Forks daily herald., 1914-12-22

STILL THE LAND OF OPPORrr.
NIFTY.
chicago Herald: A campaign to
stimulate immigration to the soutb
Grand Forks daily herald., 1914-12-22

Trouble never lodges up an alley
when 1t meets q man who is looking
for It.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01
WINTER WHEAT AND RYE
ARE IN GOOD CONDITION

Winter wheat and rye in Rock Island
county passed through the cold wealth
er in good shape, according to the
monthly report issued by Crop Cor
respondent Thomas Campbell today.
He rates the former at so and the lat
ter at S5 per cent OF normal.
Most of the report is devoted to the
condition of live stock. Mr.. Campbell
estimates that five out of every 1000
horses and three out of every 1000
cattle have died of disease during the
year. With swine the number Is five
out OF each 1000. The number OF
breeding sows on hand April ! is esti-
mated at s5 per cent the number on
hand q year ago and 80 per cent OF the
usual number April 1. The condition
Of horses and mules OF all ages is
placed at 80 per cent, of cattle OF all
ages at 50 per cent. of sheep, not in
Guiding lambs. at 100 per cent and OF
swine OF all ages at 80 per cent.
Average farm prices are 80 cents
bushel for corn. 20 cents for wheat,
40 cents for oats, So cents for rye, 90
cents for potatoes, s14 per ton for
loose hay, 25 cents per pound for but
ter. 1711 cents per dozen for eggs and
121s cents per pound for live, chickens.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01
Odd Word Survivais.

Far away back in the days when tho
English language was in Its infancy
there were poets who wrote of the
blossoms on the trees in the spring.
They didn't write blossom" however.
but used the word blow" and made
1t rhyme with snow and flow. When
they wished to sing OF the beautiful
mass of apple or hawthorn flowers
they called 1t the "blowth." This
word is found in the dictionaries,
which assert that it is obsolete. but 1t
is very much alive in Rockingham
county, n. H., and York county, Me.
The orchardist thereabout speaks of a
full blowth" or light blowth" on his
trees in May and predicts a good or
poor 'set" OF the fruit in consequence.
"Orts" are supposed to be refuse OF
some kind. but in the valley where the
Piscataqua river mingles with the sea
'orts" is the name for "swill."-Ex-
change.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01
WEATHER CONDITIONS.

The western low shown on yester
days map has moved eastward 10 the
southern portion or the lake region
causing showers from the Missouri
and Mississippi valleys and Texas 10
the Atlantic coast. Precipitation has
also occurred on the north Pacific
coast and II occasional stations in the
Rocky mountain region. At Shreve-
port, La, the rainfall during the past
"a hours amounted 10 2.66 inches.
Moderately high pressures and gener-
ally fair weather now prevail from
western Canada southwark 10 the
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01

newspaper plant while martial law
was in force in the strike zone was
found legal in a decision of the SUI
preme court of appeals. The court
held that the governors office was po-
litical and that the discretion vested
in him by the state constitution and
laws was not subject to review by the
courts. A writ prohibiting Judge Ora
ham of Cabell county from proceeding
with the papers suit for $4,000 dam
ages was awarded.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01
Trickjna the 1obbv.

Dublin eccentric a shoct time ago
entered purveyor's shop and bought a
ham. Having paid for his purchase.
he requested that 1t should be hung
outside the shop door. saying that he
would call back for II. The customer
then paced up and down outside the
shop till policeman came In sight.
and inst as the. map in blue caught
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01

his eye he grabbed Inc ham ana pOS
ed. The constable. however. soou W.
Jared the thief. as he thougnt. ans
hauled him back TO the shop. ha'ius
explained the nature Of the aheses
crime TO the shop assistant. ne asA
the latter to charge the offender.
But" said the assistant as ne CO. o..
lied the Joke. Its his own nam
was quite at liberty to take II In an!
circumstances he caose."-Lonoon
swers.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01

west gulf sections. The continued east
ward movement OF the low and the
approach OF the northwestern high
VIII be attended by fair weather in this
vicinity tonight and Thursday, with
somewhat cooler tonight.
River Forecast for the next IS
hours: Only slight changes In the
Mississippi will occur from below Du-
buque 10 Muscatine.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01
WAGNER'S REVIEW
Drift of the Weather.

Illinois, Missouri and Kansas gener-
ally fair tonight and THURSDAY cooler.
Minnesota mostly cloudy tonight ana
Thursday, somewhat cooler tonight
Iowa, North Dakota, South Dakota
and Nebraska fair tonight and Thurs
day. somewhat cooler tonight
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01

Chicago and New York markets fur
n.shed By E. W. Wagner & Co.. mem
eers Chicago Board OF Trade; grain.
Provisions. stocks AMI Gotten; private
wires to all financial centers- Core
sSonddents on the New York Stock
an Cotton Exchanges. TTi-city office
81 suite 800 Best bIilding- Phone
Rock Island $50.
P.J. MCCORMICK. Manager.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01

The Lindenberg observatory -
Europe recently completed ten year.
OF daily studies OF the upp1
conditions by the use or kites'
both captive and free balloons
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01
Morninu Grain Letter.

Chicago. April Wheat Is now due
to duplicate its usual early April
breaks. The new crop months prom
Use TO sell at So cents, which is cheap
wheat level. Newspaper comments
are bearish on the entire list OF grains
and provisions. Bear side OF corn has
gained more recruits by failure OF the
market to rally Tuesday.
Chicago shipped only $4,000 BUSH
els of corn yesterday, and sold the
trifle of $4,000 bushels. Sales Of corn
in the southwest were small, and while
southwest receipts are to decline a re-
turn TO rapid upturns is not expected.
There is a strong leaning to expecta-
ton of a rally in the entire grain list
today il early prices record another
bear attack. There is. however, a
lack of confidence in maintained
buIges. May corn should return to its
former low of the year, &c cents. The
east appears to have bought enough
Argentine corn for the summer to in
sure a slow demand at Chicago.
The period of March 20 to 81 has
brought wonderful winter wheat
weather and rains. There is more
mention OF a somewhat easy business
York is cheapest on crop at 63 to &c
cents. The steady cables surprise and
give our markets a chance TO steady
and rally a little. Our winter wheat
reports are still very high.
Foreigner Watches Winter Wheat.
Chicago. April 1.-The spring rains
in the southwest created a new army
OF wheat bears. Each new bear car
ries a Kinemacolor of the 600, ZOO, 900
new winter wheat crop.
Our wheat progress permeates Euro
pean markets, where the foreigner
watches our winter wheat plant just
as closely as the eastern corn con-
sumner CLUES his eye to Argentina new
corn offers and news.
Corn without an eastern demand is
in a defenseless position and on a con-
tinuation of this unpatriotic eastern at
titude will have to decline.
Should a serious corn decline arrive
April to 12-we believe it will be
overdone-that corn will develop as
tonishing residence.
Meantime the corn market stands
twixt and between and April, If a dis
appointing cash corn month, is not en-
tirely discounted as yet.
The March hog supply has been
above anticipation, and though hogs
hold at S12 cents the market tone indi-
Gates decisive hedgings which are a
liberal burden.
On the 56O,OOO.0OO April winter
wheat promise of last April, July
wheat found an April and May low of
S71A. from which a five cent rally re-
suited.
Wheat does not usually break into
excessive liquidation during April.
Bearish factors being usually, formally
and moderately acknowledged early
in the month.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01
Market Square Sales
March 3

2 loads Of corn at .ioc
2 loads Of timothy hay at $500
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01

Charleston, W. Va.-Governor Hat
fields military raiding of a socialist
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01
NISSEN GOES TO JUDGE
MITCHElLVIlLE CONTEST

A. Z. Nissen left here this morning
to act as judge of a road drag contest
at Mitchellville, Iowa, from which town
enthusiastic good roads boosters came
to Rock Island Monday. Thursday he
will be judge in a contest at Dubuque.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01

Uruguay has enacted law where
by the police are given extensive
power for the treatment. isolation OF
live so *. which forms the basis for
the country's chief industry.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01
ADVERTISEMENT.

WHAT IS LABOR'S
DEBT TO PROHIBITION?
CLARENCE BARROW ANSWERS THE QUESTION
Wv YHEN did hear Of a prohibition convention
w raising It's voice protest against killing work
nomen when the only onehaK donef
1b.v are too busy talking you
more you all the people who are born into this
world, the earth, onefth or onesh Of
the human world through
and that tuberculosis and they
between general rule when they
their families die from lack Of air and food
and opportunity live They die not on account Of
rum monopoly and oneenth part the
energy money air that spent
on tuberculosis would have been wiped
years ago. anything about tubeoula
sis uatents? No. mar aten alive by tuberculosis
the prohbion In his face and Oil
RumI Why districts tuberculosis
from, mother daughter from sister
brother and die like
monopozed the EARTH and the prhbionss
looks O nand Rum! tell A half
and MANNED last year. the victims
of ground they
died In molten had their and
fell from the 10th or 18th story
air. while working to buy bread for
their families They by spindle and engine
make these great Half million Of
limbs could have been saved If man cared for
life dollars they tried to make machines
safe protect life and women and little
children these lives
Kindred fellows went down
torch their head and lived lingering
days and never came up to their
The that men were more
interested in making milne probable mine
(Appause) of these prohibtonists sigh
shed and do you hear them raise
OF hafmion OF poor working
the wheels industry every year make
miney They the OF the widows
they the orphan and they don't
dying of the poor victims OF our nnus'y Inc"
busy shouting RumI
Do you know organizations of this country
legislative body in America!
They the capitals OF
every nation plead for legislation that
would would protect fe They have been
year year, pleading take little children out " the
from the spndes and put them INTO
the schools taking the jobs from their
husbands been legislative body
and prohbtonists there to help you plead
YOUR cause? Have they behalf Of
your limbs Of wives OF your ehdren nav"
they anything shout Rum7 While you have
been pleading and families and your
lives raised OF the pron
bonists SAYING: take that Don't give
liability act don't give US the safety appliance
act! Don't anything mines just wait! Don't
take up that. Rum Join with moral
issue Let us of will help you" And
If Won help them get go will nd These
gentlemen and they will No now Let US GET
rid of tobacco cards and BILLIARDS
and dancing everything then will attend
you"
Municipal League of
Rock Island County
Vote NO Vote NO
b,s .vs no crob.As iile am be
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01
Nine o'eloek Market.

Hogs sc higher than yesterdays av-
erage. Estimates: Hogs $4,000; cattle
1000: sheep $1,000. Mixed Ss.4OGs.70.
Good $500 s.67. Rough ss.25d S.45.
Light ss.45G $40. Pigs $500 s.35.
Bulk 1856 a SIS.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01
CHICAGO LIVE STOCK.
Opening Of Market

Hogs $4,000. Left over 1850. Steady.
Mixed s5.35Gs.62. Good sS.45G $50
Rough ss.2OQs.4O. Light $3.50 $50.
Cattle 10000. Steady to 1Oc up.
Sheep $4,000. Strong.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01
Chicago Cash Grain.

wheat-No. 2 7. e3d $50; No. 3 T,
s11z a 90: No. 2 h. 91zs a 917s; No 3
h. s1d9Ik: No. I ms. 941z n 90: No. 2
ms, 931z 9941z: No rs. go a s3iA /;
No. ms, goa 30: No. ? s, s51a a "a y !;
No. :. s21a a 93tz; No. 5, 909e2;
No. l vc. e3G 931z; No. 2 vc. 92G So;
No. VIC. ola 90; No. l durum, s19
e21z No. durun, 9Oiz a 911z; No. 3
durum. s91z a eO1z.
Corn-No. 3. esq 6624; no. W. &C
G6s: No. y. 6524 d67lz; No. 4. $50
65: No. W, esq Sc; No. ( y, 64g 60;
SO. 57d62.
oats-No. ", ssiL a 3s44: No. 4 W.
STAG 3sIz; standard, 399i a 40; sg,
351z-
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01
TODAY'S MARKET QUOTATIONS
Local and FOREIGN

Cattle steady TO 1Oc up. Beeves 500
1850. Cows $3.75ds.25. Stockers
s6.4OG7.s0. Texans S6.50Q SIS. Calves
s7.5O69.50.
Sheep steady. s41OG6.S5. Lambs
$5.75GS.50.
Close Of Market
Hogs slow at early prices; strong to
sc higher than yesterdays average.
Mixed s.4OGS.70, good S.50G SGT. rough
S.25ds.45. light S.45qS.70.
Cattle steady; 10c higher.
Sheep steady.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01

Washington-Osman Wilma Pasha,
formerly Turkish ambassado- to Ber'
lin, has been named as Turkish ambas-
sador to Washington to succeed Yous.
souf Zia Pasha.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01
LOCAL MARKET CONDITIONS.

April Following are the whole
sale quotations on the local market
today:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01
Liverpool Cables.

Wheat opened X to a OF; closed
unchanged to II up.
Corn opened a of: closed 4 on
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-01
NEW YORK STOCKS.

New York, April Following are
the quotations on the stock market to-
The Goldfield news and weekly tribune. [volume] (Goldfield, Nev.) 1911-1947, 1914-05-16
ORIGINAL OWNERS
TAKE OVER JOANA

AS evidence of indomitable faith
is evinced in the information given
out last Tuesday at w. A. Watson,
the original discoverer of the Coco
mongo district, had purchased the
Joana mine, the first location made
in the lev mineral territory in 1898.
Although ten years have elapsed
comongo, Watson is confident that
his latest acquisition will be the nex
big gold mine in the country.
Associated with him in the enter
prise are p. j. and Ernest w. Jack
son. The Joana was bought from j..
H. Leishman of Cherry Creek, who
bid in the mine about a year ago,
when the assets of the Stuart COM
pany were sold under the hammer.
When the news of the discovery of
gold ore of remarkable richness near
the old Eagan district were flashed
through this section it precipitated a
mining excitement Of small magni-
tude. Watson and his partner. Ern-
est Baker worked a large quantity Of
ore through the Campbell mill in
Steptoe valley, but most of the ore
values were lost in treatment.
With indomitable faith they stuck
to their holdings, and were often
spurned and Tilted. Baker sold out
before there were any willing takers.
Watson bonded the property later to
w. B. Lawler, who worked the
ground in AN intermittent manner for
several years before s%uspending oper-
atoms.
w. j. Wallace, representing Con-
necticut capitalists, bought the Joanna
Hartford-Nevada Mining company.
1t was quite active for several years,
but lack of finances prevented those
identified with the holdings from ac-
complishing much in the shape of
actual developments.
The Joanna group fell into the hands
Henry Stuart and associates about
the time of the big boom in Ely,
seven years ago. The New York
mine promoter was quite lavish i'll
the expenditure of money.
Several hundred thousand dollars
was wasted in an eXtragavant and
impractical manner, and an elaborate
milling plant and mero gopher
holes were all that the Stuart COM
pany had to present to it's stockhold-
ers before its assets We're attached
by creditors.-White Pine News.
The Goldfield news and weekly tribune. [volume] (Goldfield, Nev.) 1911-1947, 1914-05-16
M'DONALD ELY HAS
AIR DRILLS WORKING

Machine drills are humming again
at the Mcdonald Ely to push forward
the head of the 500 level on the Ma
Geo claim where the opening up of a
large body of ore is anticipated. This
level is now out about 100 feet from
the shaft and is headed toward the
northeast. 1t will be necessary to
drift about $50 feet from the shaft,
as far as can be judged al present, to
reach the Maceo ore body but when
it is struck it is expected to be the
making of the property.
Some distance from the shaft a
soft iron formation was cut by the
level which later entered very hard
lime and work was suspended as no
machines were being used and but
SLOW progress could be made. The
company management recently deter
mined to concentrate all effort on the
extension of the level SO the machine
drills were started up again. The
compressor is in the old Robust mill
building about a quarter of a mile
from the shaft and water for the
boilers is pumped from the station
in the canyon up towards Lane City.
Ten men are employed who are di-
vided into two shifts and the work
will be pushed steadily until the OBJ
jective point is reached when it is
likely new development plans viii
be adopted by the company.-EXpos-
itOr