New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-07-12
THE TALK OF THE DAY

The extra tire kept inside the automobile police
patrol proved quite attractive TO drunken man
arrested the other evening H. had talking jag"
Life preseryers' handy 70 have" he said at one
time, "'speshually when seas rough like It's might
~ understand that you favor local option"
"Yes," replied Colonel Stilwell.
But you are not total abstainer your@elt.
"No. But my doctor has limited me to very
small allowance, and like to add as much as pos
sibe to the excitement of getting drink. --" ASH
ington Star.
suburbanite who changes his trousers when ne
gets home and goes into the garden to work recently
placed his pocketbook in his working pants because
he expected to pay bill. While he slept that night
his house caugh: fire. He questions for moment
whether he should put on his good trousers or the
ones holding the pocketbook, and chose the latter
The better trousers were destroyed Then he dis,
covered only SO in the pocketbOok and new apparel
cost So.
"You must pardon me-" exclaimed the golfer. ra1
trouble is that have been so perpeXeu "oo"' ""'"
matters that got confused -,
whats that go to do with the game. .,,, ..so,
should b 1vn said Fore! Arlington Star.
'If ono did not know better remarked an OBJ
servant man. "he would be inclined to believe an
aviator is akin to centipede. Not long ago was
II
forty-fve feet Yes? he asked. And how many
has he left?"
"That salesman prevaricated
GAS to how ~
"Ssid the color was fast 1870 r.nid,v
Well did you see color 60 more rsp'u's
when it started to run '-fi''Souish i''''
New Yorks tree surgeons, struggling WIN '"e
problem Of the diseased trees which now auorn Vui
streets might take leaf out OF the oook o. '''ni
gan experimenters who have found the pheu""
homrer with chisel attachments excellent device
for treating sick trees. The implement mas oee'
found to work very satisfactorily in gouging out
cankers. smoothing stubs of branches and IN open
inc cavities When used as substitute for the
maIlet and chisel the pneumatic chisel has peeh
found TO do the work Of four or five men
prosid.r, Wilson SAYS he hopes the Mason and
DIXON line will fade and be forgotten we shaii
raise no peevish objection, but we think IN tarhes
to all concerned that the Barbara frlesen'e rapcesd
ought to be eliminated first, and then we can ploIie
IN celebrate the disappearance of the line Dy ahhs
a bonfre of "Uncle Toms Cabin "-Houston Post
Jus. after the ClaAin failure friend asked Hugh
F McEroy. the broker, what he thought of the cot
ton market.
at looks as though 'twould 90 higher" he replied
"but I'm not buying any just now You see ! !" ~
Just the position young woman friend OF my iami'!
once was She vas very fond of river shrimp ana
Of another friend OF the family, Judge .Harl i"'
;udce went out one night and was last seen walking
toward the river in which it was very evident ne
had been drowned. few days later at dinner she
waved a portion of shrimp to one side.
elbows that? asked Have you gone back on
river shrimp"
"'Oh, no. said she, but don't think III cat any
until they lind Judge MARI It's the same way with
mel won't buy any more cotton until they ma OUT
more about John Claim"
"Now. my child" said the kind old judge, (which
do you prefer to go with ,? ,, Ill,
THAT depends" answered the fashionable child
as mother to get large alimony!
Eyes" =, a.,
Large enough to embarrass father financially"
Kansas City Journal.
Now that New York's four law schools are gradu-
ating hundreds OF pupils annually, 1t is interesting
70 recall the time when New York had no law school
and local newspaper could say: at is strange II
series of law lectures in large city as New YORK
would not pay" This printed in June, 1890, IN
nm tom which began: "Mr. George H. Moore stated
ST the late alumni dinner of New York University
that law department of that institution was really
created and its professors really delivered their IN
augural addresses Benjamin F. Butler, ESQ., Judge
Kent and the late David Graham constituted the law
faculty"
$50 Jack is engaged, is he? And is Fanny the
brde-to-bc? ,"
mo sne's the tried .tobe Boston Transcript.