Webster City freeman. [volume] (Webster City, Hamilton County, Iowa) 1884-1946, 1914-07-28
What He Said

Miss Carlson, her lace considerably
flushed, jerked out the slide Of her
desk, placed her notebook and pencils
upon it with much emphasis, switched
her skirts to the other side of her
chair and sat down.
The other occupants of the stenog-
raphers' room exchanged glances. 1t
was Miss Conrad who spoke, ap.
preaching her subject with graceful
tact.
what makes your face so red, Kit
ty?" she asked.
"Red!" exploded Miss Carlson.
"Well, guess it is red. l guess your
face would be red, too, If you-- On,
it makes me so mad! That little nine
spot"
Gee! What's hurtin' you, Kit?" in
quired Miss O'Hara. HAS O'Brien
been tryin' to get funny again?"
"O'Brien!" snorted Miss Carlson.
mo. Mr.. O'Brien is a gentleman, it
he does act foolish sometimes. 1t
was that new guy, Winthrop"
THE one that wears the necktle
that looks like a garter snake?" asked
Miss Dusenberry, taking hand-glass
from a drawer in her desk and re-
garding her reflection therein critl-
cally.
Eyes, that's the one. Well, he GER
tainly is the limit, and then some."
whats the matter of him." in
quired Miss Jones mildly. Il think
he's real cute-lookin'."
"Cute-lookin'! With that beard!"
exclaimed Miss Hogan, scorn depict
ed in every feature. why, never
see him without want to say 'Ba-a-a!
Cute-lookin'! He looks like a billy
goat"
"Oh. cut it out, girls, and let Kit
tell what he did," commanded Miss
O'Hara Did he ask you to tell him
if he went too fast? That's what the
new ones gently do, and like as not
they can't dictate more'n fifteen
words minute"
Nav" replied Miss Carlson. Il
wouldn't of have minded that. Wait
till l tell you.
She whirled her chair around to get
a better command OF her audience.
when went in there" she said. "he
was nosin' round in lot Of files. so
l sat down and put my gum In my
mouth and waited tor him to toon up.
After while he turns round kind OF
absent-minded, like he was thinkin'
about what he had for supper last
night, and he remarks, Good maw-W-
nin'!' Just like that-'Good maw-W'
nin.''"
"Land!" commented Miss Hogan.
1T always did make me tired to hear
a person say good mawnin', instid
of good mornin',' like other folks"
After he got started he went along,
all right, 'cepin' for sayin' 1ahst' and
'pahst' and all like that. till he come
to a place where he says, This mat
ter seems to have fallen into an ocu-
lists desert food
"'Well,' thinks l, that certainly is
a fierce bunch O. words to put in a
letter."
1T was kind of long letter" con-
tinued Miss Carlson, land when he
got through he says, with smile
guess he thought would tickle me to
pieces: will you please read that?
"'All right ! says, and l started
in and l read along till come to the
place where he said that about the
oculist's desert food.
when l come to that he kind of
sat up and leaned over. and he says,
Will you please repeat that lahst
sentence?
Il read it back real slow and plain:
This matter seems to have fallen into
an oculist's desert food
"Well, that chump gave yell that
liked to knocked me out my chair,
and then he laughed like he's goin' to
kill himself.
II stood it for about minute. and
then l says, just as sarcastic. Excuse
me, but, not bein' able to see the
joke, l guess you won't need me any
longer Then l picked up my pencils
and my book and started out of the
room. You bet l was sore.
HE kind of Strengthened out his
face then and he says: Wait a min.
ute. please. l amt through yet
II was too mad to sit down and
Just stood there like a wooden Indian,
waitin' to see what he's goin' to say.
81 beg your pardon he says. kind
of chokin' to himself. but the last
sentence isn't just what said. I said
innockuous dezwetood-i-n-n-o-c-u-o-u-s
d-e-s-u-e-t-u-d-e.'
Now, what do you know about
that?
well. I wrote down the fool stuff
Just like he spelled it, and then I
looked him in the eye and I says:
Maybe that's what you thought you
was sayin', but l heard what you did
say just as plain as day, and it's just
like wrote it and Just like read 1t
an oculist's desert food-and, land
knows, it's bad enough either way
with that sailed out Of the room.
I'm Just a-goin' to tell her"-referring
to the head stenographer. who. it is
needless to say, was absent from the
rom during this recital-"that she