The Washington herald., 1914-08-02
THE ELEVATOR BOY


II you rent an once In q skyscraper-
Don't begin by calling the elevator boy
"Bub."
He has a dignity to maintain.
Don't call out: You, therer' to him.
Don't tell him you'll be a father TO him.
Don't offer him any Wall Street tips.
He can give you cards and spades at
that.
Don't show him a photo OF your de-
ceased wife. He won't believe 1t is.
Don't ask him to introduce to you a
typist.
Don't imagine that you can work any
little scheme he won't get on to.
Don't warn him that cigarettes are kill
ing him.
Don't display a Bible on your desk for
his benent and at the same time keep q
poker deck inside.
A few weeks ago, when Mr.. Rockaway,
the kodak agent. moved into room No.
IS, he took an early opportunity TO say
to me:
'"Sammis, there are owners Of sky
scrapers and there are agents and jan
itors Of skyscrapers. but the elevator boy
Is the real boss"
"Yes, sir: he is" humbly replied.
IF he stands in with the tenant, that
tenant Is all right; II he don't stand in,
then the tenant might as well hunt for
another ONCE. want to stand in with
you. Sammis."
You are a widows son. Here's half
dollar to cheer your mothers
lonely heart You are trying to pay on
the gigantic mortgage left on the estate
by your father. Here's another harf
dollar to assist you. This is simply pre-
paratory, Sammis. Quarters and halves
and dollars will clInk and rattle around
here and pass from me to you with
astonishing frequency. All you've got
TO do is to look out for my interests"
Yes, sir
SHOULD q woman call hsre-an oldish
woman. with red hair and a sharp nose
and q voice like q hle-'
You are out. sf course. She's the
woman who wants contributions for the
heather. and you don't want to be
bothered"
Exactly. sammis! And you are a
jewel" he said as he patted me on the
head Il am always TO be out when she
calls. You are to discourage her from
calling again. You may even hint that
I have moved to Chicago or St Louis
l see you closely scrutinizing my side
whiskers. SammiA Don't you like the
color?'
Yes, SIR but they are false"
'Ah. Sammis, another quarter for the
gigantic mortgage. It's a little notion of
mine to wear false whiskers for a few
weeks, and nothing need be said about
t. What We know We know. but We
keep mum about IT. You trust me:
trust you. Wen make that mortgage
look sick in a month or two. Ia tA
Sammis! I think We understand each
other"
I thought so. too. and It was all right
for two or three weeks. Mr.. Rockaway
didn't come down with any more halves
but didn't lay that up against him. II
was what he said and did that hurt my
feelings One day at the fourth floor a
lawyers boy called me a sawed-ofr liar
l stopped the elevator to punch his head
and thus was late getting up to answer a
call from Mr.. Rockaway. He was mad
about it. and. taking me by the ear. he
said:
You trifiing young monkey, but I'll
have no more Of this. I've a good mind
to report you to the agent and have you
bounced. What do you mean by such
conduct?'
I'm sorry. sir
That makes no difference. From this
time out I shall have an eye on you.
and you'll either walk chalk or get the
bounce. Do you hear me?"
The iron struck home From that hour
waited and longed for a red-haired,
sharp-nosed woman TO appear. Luck was
with me- On the afternoon OF the fifth
day she walked in and made straight
for me and said
''Bub. I'm looking for a man named
Rockaway. I'm his wife"
Have you got business with him." I
asked.
Il have-strict business. Is there such
a man in this buildinEy''
There is a Mr.. Rockaway here. but
he's got side-whiskers."
oh. he has! Well IN pull 'em on
in three seconds! Take me right up"