The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-02-15

| he was doing far from Washington
and IL he was lecturing, which Mercy
nolds Indignantly denied, and Trust asked
to be excused as he had to go out and
water his stock to which McReynods re-
piled: yes, you are up to your old tricks
again" and left alone with Miss Indus
try McReynolds tried TO make friends
with her, but was interrupted by the ap-
pearance of George Perkins, who declared
he was the original exponent OF the
theory that we should trust the trusts
McReynolds replied that that was his
policy, too. Trust, entering declared that
McReynolds was a pnpil OF George Wick
ersham and invited him to look at the
idle smokestacks of the last OF his works
McReynolds told him to dissolve the
trusts by keeping part of them and draw
dividends without voting privileges from
the rest.
| Soon after the noise of the mob was
heard outside and crowd of discharged
worknen appeared and demanded help.
| One of them asked where Bill Bryan
was and the reply came that he had
! left the trust busters union and joined
the Woodrow Wilson Open Shop March,
ing club. The mob became insistent and
finally Trust yelled: ''NilI nobody save
me?' and then entered the new Indus
trial Trade Commission who declared
they We're the Cheeryble Brothers Of the
government! I'VE cheer the trusts and
give them the helping hand We stand
between the trusts and the trust buster"
one of them declared he had drawn n
Constitution of Peace, and asked Trust
to sign 1t, which he did, and the mob
fell back and finally HawSshaw Brandes
| exclaimed, as Trust signed the new Consti-
ttion: THE millennium has come, and the
lion and the lamb lie down together The
old gray wolves OF the Senate abandon
the trail for the comforts of the zoologi-
cal garden My occupation is gone. I
pass into history followed by the Others"
and he marched off. followed by every
body.
y y q
One of the most amusing acts OF the
evening was the chemist act. In which
member of the club. dressed as the grid
iron chemist, entered the room accom-
panied by DIR. Harvey W. Wiley, the
pure food expert (bimself). and an-
nouhced that he had been called to make
a test of whether beer or grape Juice
contained the most alcohol. He then
walked over to where the German ambas-
sador was seated and picked up beer
stein and then went to Secretary of State
Bryan's seat and got an empty grape juice
and after consulting DR. Wiley, said that
the eminent chemist had given him a
solution which. poured into the respective
glasses. would show whether alcohol was
present or not. He then poured a few
drops out of a test tube Into the stein,
and there was absolutely no result. Then
lifting the tube, he dropped little of
It's contents into the grape Juice glass.
and instantly there arose a great flame
followed by smoke Bowling gracefully,
he said he would leave the guests to judge
which liquid contained the most alcohol.
Secretary Bryan was then called upon
for a speech IN defense Of grape juice.
x. x y
The music act of the gridiron dinner is
always feature. This time it was In
the shape of a cabaret show. As the
music played lively air string OF
walters with their round about coats and
napkins over their arms and bearing