The evening times. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1906-1914, 1914-03-12
Laugh With Us

with a hole in it. Handing it to u
still smaller companion. he said:
Jimmie. ! dare you to so into that
store and buy something with this
penny"
Jimmie was quite willing. Enter
ing boldly. he said:
u want A doushnut." And. TAX
ing it. he hastily presented the penny.
Here" said the clerk. this penny
has a hole in it,"
So has the doughnut." announced
Jimmie. trjumphantly holding it up.
The Delincator.
4. school superintendent was trying
to make clear to his class the f,lnda-
mental doctrines of the Declaration
OF Independence.
YOU each three ordinary buttons. Here
they are. You must think of the first
one as representing life, Of the second
as representing liberty. and tho third
happiness. Next Sunday ! will ask
you each to produce the three but
tons and tell me what they represent"
Tho following Sunday the teacher
said to the youngest member.
NOW. Johnny. produce your three
buttons and tell me what they stand
for"
= amt got EN- all" he sobbed,
Here's life and here's liberty, but
lnoniIner eve the pursuit o. .lappi-
ness on NJ pants"
An advertising man tells this one:
The heavy advertiser of Il certain
Indiana town entered the editorial
offices Of the daily paper. and in an
cry and disguised tones delivered him
self as follows:
What's the matter with this sheet,
ANYHOW: That was a fine break you
people made in lnS ad yesterday"
What seems to be the trouble 80
asked the editor anSiously.
Read it and sect said the ad-
vertiser; and he thrust a. COPY of the
paper into the editorial hands.
Tho unhappy editor read: If You
want to have a fit, wear jones'
shoes. '-Lippincott's.
An Alabama nan meeting an old
colored ma formerly in his service,
put to him the usual question. well.
jed, how are you today"
"Tol'able. sah. t~ol'sble,' cautiously
replied Jed: "Ah'd be all right sah.
II it wasn't for de rheumatism in
NAH right laig."
"All. we'll. Jed. we mustn't complain.
We're all getting old. and old age
ooCS ilUL cOHf5 dlO16.
=. Old age amt got nuthin' to do wild
it. sab. Heah's ma other lais lust
as oil an OATS sound, an sooplA az
kin be-"
The proprietor of the gent. furnish
ing emporium always ate in the
quick lunch establishment. next door.
but the owner Of the latter had a
grievance.
IT nut out many signs" roron1ain.d
he. Il advertise lamb stew. beef
hash. roast giblets. I watch you
many times. Always you take some
tf1ing else"
II guess that's 60"
Why is it?"
Well. I figure it this way" ex.
planned the h~aberdasher. Whenever
hang out n sign it's. for. something
ant to get rid Of"
When / VAS having my vacation
last summer says James *. Hackett,
Il spent part of it on a farm TIP iI
Maine.
One day the farmer went to the
county fair and his hard working wife
remained ait holne to see that the
farm suffered no loss during his alb
senee. He returned home just about
dark. and coming out on the porch
where The wife was taking a little
ANiES tSSC iO oShCO..
I'm about tired out, Sarah. rs. the
COWS in the barn.. -
Yes. long since replied the wife.
is the hosses Embarrassed an
fed, he ,queried.
Fowls locked -up:" 80
Wood chopped: fer:~nse.ndn+
Be them DUCKS rh,eked
oresssd for market
Wagon wheel mended. an. ready
to start in" .
We'll, then he concludes; with 2
sigh re relief. let me have my supper.
Sarah. an I'll turn in. Farmin' is
beginnin' to tell on me.'"-Green
Book Magazine.
II wish" sighed Freddie, plaintive-
~, II wish J. was Billy Smith,"
mother. BILLY Smith has none of
the nice things you have. He doesn't
get n pocket money. and he isn't
as big as you, and he's not nearly SO
strong. His father ncv buys him
presents, Or"
II know all about that, mamma"
said Freddie, but"
And think what nice books you
have. And you never have to 70 out
In the cold and wet to carry papers
II know" grumbled Freddie, an.
moved by his mothers strange lack Of
understanding. 'But Billy kin wigglc
his ears!"-The Del.neator.
There is this Inference between
! rents and tears: II a man, goes on A
tear. he may not be able to pay. shir