The Salt Lake tribune. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1890-current, 1914-03-01
He can't piece pie railroad station without ad
dhressin' few the hired help

eth monarch v this domain, which stretches
as far as TIL eye can see, is his majesty King
Charleymange tn Forty-hfth, splendid figure
iv man, measurin' at Taste five be wan. He's
tn last iv his race, an whin he kicks out tn
people will have to go shoppin' f'r king in
Denmark, where they have hand me down
store fr nlonarchs that amy counthry can go to
an get fitted f'r an anointed ruler. There was
some opposition to him whin he come in on tn
ground that he had niver been able to larn to
spell an was given to throwin' fits in public, but
him bein' tn only mimber iv tn rile family thin
at large they had to take him.
An there he sets, presidin' over tn destinies
iv this proud people an supported be socyalistic
parlymnt that absolutely does his bidding afther
it has told him what to bid. He has forty uny-
FORMS is colonel in twinty-two Euro-peen rigi-
mints, carries soord that has give him bad list
to starboard an his fav-rite spoort is sthringin'
buttons. He has tn largest collection iv buttons
in tn wurruld. 1t is a noble sight to see him
clingin' to snow white charger an reviewin' tn
Poosylsnyan ARMY, which is almost as big as
tn Father Matthew Fife an Dhrum corpse But
he has to be watched all tn time to keep him
firm cuttin' tn buttons off his UNIFORMS an
putin thin on stirring. I made great hit
with him be sindin' him me own modest collie
tion that I'd pred firm tn coats iv tn officers iv
tn law in Chicago while they lay asleep.
g. But yell want to know how TIL ambassadure
is gittin' along He's credit to his counthry an
his ancient calling. He has done ivrything ex-
picted iv an American ambassadure. He has
larned to talk afther dinner at lenth sootabe to
tn best thraditions iv Our diplomacy. It's be-
come scond nature with him, an he can't ate
piece iv pie at railroad station without adj
dhressin' a few Remarks to the hired help on TIL
ties that binds tn two great nations together. At
meetin' iv tn Poosylanyan society,
which was formed befure tn exthradition threaty
was passed. he made an Grafton that lasted ir'm
a quarther to twelve onti his mellow peeryods
mingled with tn tinkling iv tn bells on tn cows
ben dhrlven to pasture be Numbers iv parly-
mint. He said that Poosyanyans an us were
brothers, or anyhow cousins; that we spoke tn
same dilect; that tn same blood coorsed through
Our veins America, he said, claimed a half
irthrest In their ciybrated pote, Hockhemer,
while tn wurruks iv such Poosylanyan authors
as Myerowitz Wynzeysky, an P1utch were read
as eagerly in Ioway as in tn land iv their birth.
He gloried in tn fact that George Wash'nton,
Abraham Lincoln, an Wiun Sulzer were iv
Poosylanyan extraction, He said it was too
early A voice: It's half past four" an laugh
teri to discuss threaty which he was arrangin'.
but he hoped in few days to announce that
Poosylanya wud remove tn jooty on our pick
alilly an we wud let in their smecrkase free
Whin that gr-reat charter, that pact iv peace, is
completed, he says, tn two pow'rful nations will
march hand in hand an ar-rm in arm an cheek
be jowl, spreadin' gloryous example iv brother