El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-10-31

thrance to tn barber shop an has his
hair cut to I'll quick, an his shoes
shined. Thin he returns TO MS room
an puts on his Sundah coat an splnqs
an hour. pickin' out neckue- He
chooses a lavender wan with PINK
spots, but amt quite shure he hash
made a fatal blunder- Thin ne sets
down an writes out his last VIII an
testymint bequeathin' all his property
to a Home fr Decayed Women Haters-
Thin he walks over tn. bridge an
looks down into tn purple Hood an
picks a good place TO jump II m he
makes a heart-reudin' picture, " him
self IL is. bein' hauled out iv tn creek
all wet an soTryful lOOkin' an laid at
her feet while she screams at tn
sight iv his noble pale face, upbraidin'
her. an she goes away an becomes .
nun an dies calm him be name He
wishes there was seaWeed to 60 into
his hair, but he'll have TO put up with
pieces iv wood bark firm tn tanneries.
"On his way to receive tn blow that
will sind him to a wathery grave he
stops at tn undhertakers an picks out
a simple casket an goes over a list iv
frinds he'll ask 70 be palbearers in a
brief note TO tn Wurruld eNplalnln' MS
rais'ns fr tn rash act. Fin'lly he ar
rives at tn house.
Years aftherward as he looks back
in tn cold light iv raisOn whin tn
childher are abed an he's smokin' his
pipe alone. he reminders that he didn't
10 run tn dure was mysteryOusly flung
open an he heerd a disappointed voice
say oh, I thought twas pah-hah-
Won tye come in an wait fr htmE
SthranEe to saw she wore IN same
dhress that he'd said he liked so much
III week before
'SinE'lar as it may seem. he found
himsif alone with her in tn parlor.
Was the lamp turned low. was there
bunch iv flowers on III table. was
there a sofy conyanient2 Oh. no, Was
tn fam y out2 sure they were. but a
man whose ear wasn't deefened be tn
thumpin' in his heart might have
thought he heerd faint shufflin' "
feet in tn back room an a sound iv
hand bein' clapped over a child's
mouth
Why He Is a Bachelor.
7 won't 90 any further. because I
can't That's as far as me personal eX-
that distance something happened
ayether fire engine wint by, or
horse run away. or tn old man sneezed
at tn keyhole, or I heerd wan iv tn
childer cry. oh. look at Misther Doc
ley's funny bald spot That's why I'm
bachelor TO this day an who so man
ny marrid women gives me that Sure
ly-ye-haven't frgot look out iv their
nit she is thremblin an pale, an why
shudden't she be- It's no aisy job fr
young an tendher crather 20 dhrag a
big. humble. cow rdly lump " bashful-
ness uD to his destiny. It's more like
house movin' than anything I know
iv.
anyhow. he's there An his -Obse-
ldes amt goin' TO be tn kind he feared
A lock " hair comes loose. q hand is
within grabbin' distance. an JUS as tn
calendar on tn mantelpiece SAYS it's
Winsdah. April tn twinty-siventh. an
tn clock says it's eight. an tn lamp
says it's p. m. our young frind is in an
attichOOd that a man niver takes else
where but in a church or a shoe store.
an another life has been mercifully
spared through tn tenderness an in
jinooty iv a good woman
Two minyits later whin they open
tn foldin' dure they discover that tn
family have returned tn OF woman is
knittin' a sock with a clothes pin, tn
OF man Is readiu' tn pa'aper upside
down. tn oldest childer ar-re diggiu'
into their arithmetic as though twas
a spoortin' exthry, an tn young Cal
lachers ARE lined Up agin tn wall