The Maryville times. (Maryville, Tenn.) 1884-1944, 1914-05-22
COLLEGE SPORTS
Uncle Zimri Thought He
Saw His Duty and
Gets In Trouble
Dear Billy

T
/ Sence wrtin last to you, youl
old Uncle Zimri has been in a site
of trouble. It was all beea your
aunt Sarah wanted some of them
patterns from the store. That girl,
Cattia, I writ you about come like
she said she would, md got Sarah
in the notion of having a dress made;
she had part enough goods as she
thought to make a dress but ca title
persuaded her that she had more
then a plenty if she had a pattern
like they are all u-in. I hitched up
Saturday mornen and dirty to town
to git it fer her and jist as | was
gitten well in, seed TELLER with
out any close on, to speak of, comen
a tearing down one of the main
streets like all possessed, Says | to
myself, the devil must abin resisten
HIM this time and HE has done the
fieein, | never seed the beet; he
never looked back but had his head
up like a steer a runnen in high
corn, anu was only touchen the
high places as he went, Bein dep
uty, I seed my duty plain and that
was to ketch the Teller before he
done any damage to himself or run
clean outen the rest of his close.
l lit out of the buggy and headed
him off when he got nigh me. He
tried to dodge me, but [ am sum
sprv yit and so | managed to grab
him. Well, you had ought to have
heered him yell. Turn me loose,
you old Rube' said he you will
make me loose my record. " Never
mind, sonny about your record, I
will fix that all right when we git
to the squire's office. How did you
escape any way" says | piled
MIN into the buggy with the help
of feller who seemed to be mighty
we'll tickled about something, and
we had to slip the chain on his
wrist to keep MIN still till we got
to the squirrels. l never did hear
such carrvin on; he begged, and /
am afraid he said things that he
had not been taught to say in Sun
day School too. Well l saw be was
gitten sum cold so I put my over
coat around him before we got right
in the the busy part of town SO he
did not look quite 80 indecent.
When The squire come, I took
the TELLER before him and made my
charge of insanity and expected to
show just reason for my actions, but
the squire says to me "You have
made grave mistake officer; this
Teller is a college student and was
iist out for a practice run shis morn
ing" That made me a bit mad SO
told him that he wos to go ahead
with the trial aud | would give him
some good and sufficient reasons for
taken the Teller before him. IL
the first place." says |, he is rearly
naked as you will see when | take
ny coat off him; he is in SIGH a state
Of undressedness that if one Of our
boys from the country was to come
to town in the same fix and show
his self, he would be took up i'm
mediate and fined for it and I in
sist that this Teller be taught less
on for the rest of them sprinters to
learn from. | saw that | had to do
some argufyin if | got what [ want
ed, so told him how it would be
considered indecent for a man to git
up and go out anywhere, even in
the country, without putten on his
pants; | told him too that a man
IN that condition would be arrested
rs he ought to be.
They got lawyer TELLER to talk
'or the young Teller and he said a
lot about the races and the College