The Washington times., 1914-04-12
But 'Tis Neither Husband Nor
Villa by the Sea That Is De-
sired by William AS Talent
ed Daughter, Who's Com
ing Here.
Really, It's No Secret, and After
Learning Something of Ro-
mans, MummieS, and PhiIa-
deIphia You'll Find Out What
1t Is.
BY GARDNER MACK.

All women were created equal
and then some smart Aleck came
along and invented Paris fashions!
You understand. of course, that
Paris fashions" is used here SIM
ply as a term to fix a turning in the
tide of human affairs, just as we'd
sav the Christian era or the
Democratic party" or Walter
Johnson is pitching" As a matter
Of fact. what we mean when we use
the term today is the female gender
OF z state of personal establishment
that antedates the establishment of
Paris by a thousand or two years.
Just like the use of the term Eas-
ter Parade, which is TO be q topic
of discussion today after the usual
private view" accompanied by a
more or less interesting sermon and
appropriate music, has terminated
and the real reason for Easter com
ting once each year is being worn
UP and down the highways and by
ways so that the whole public can
have look.
Fashions were actually invented
when Paris was little more than a
relay station for the Roman parcels
post, when packages of Gallo scalps
were being dispatched every so
often to the main guys on the Tlber
10 show how busy the boys on the
road had been.
We know there was a Roo Della
Paheece in ancient Egypt long before
the time Of Moses. because we've
found mummies wearing examples OF
the art Of the Worth of that day.
And we've recently been informed
by scientific persons-this term be-
ing used to designate persons with
overdeveloped hindsight to distin-
suish them from the equally trust
worthy citizens known as SlalfNoEahts
whose foresight is their stock IN
trade. we have been informed, TO
resume. that Venus herself was Dut
q perfect example of the art of some
prehistoric corsetierc. This VIII
doubtless be shock 10 some ot
these specialists who denounce the
corset, but it is as true as ANYTHING
. scientist-for-revenu has dlscoN-
ered for q long time.
Makes EN- Different.
Now that ve have so lucldiy eN-
plained what Paris fashions really
are. and we've got this thing started
which we didn't think We were
ever going to dot might not De
cut OF place to suggest that the prin-
cipal office OF fashion. Paris and
otherwise. is making all the different
women of the uniEerse-difterent
II is lust this difference that dls-
t,nguishes one woman from another
In a crowd at first glance. and on
the varying quality of the tashioh
deDcrGs whether one continues oi'
his wav or turns to take secohu
look. preliminary TO a t1ird anu
fourth. and so on ad litum.
II Is necessary to have a Gear
understanding OF all this fully TO
appreciate what happened to fe'lN
Iahoney and me in Philaaelphia
Thursda- night. IN Justice TO t'cIiN'
| have made the situation clear, ne
cause he had 10 make 2 lot OF eN-
plsratiors Friday morning as l"
vEy hr didn't come home ThursdaN
night. We were told TO Eet some
thing that wuuld make good Easter
.eading and We went 20 . PhlIadei-
phla cafe to get II. And we had
nardIy entered the cafe before our
effort was rewarded. Right in the
center OF the room | Spled a CheT-
Uit gown. told Felix TO start MAX
ing drawings of il. calling it By its
first name Just like in the preceding
sentence. only ! said 'Shairv'ee,
proving just how different saying
lining is from spelling It. Felix said
ne thought il was Erecn-but what
can you expect from person named
Sahoney2 II was green, but there
Was something else To il.
And that IS just the point We
started this thing - emphasize. To
the ordinary mind that particular
theruit creation was simply green
gown and the person that wore it
simply rose above the crowd ne
cause it was a Cheruit and :yreen.
But TO us. with our greater discern
nent, it was the important thing in
The room because il was not only
Chrruit and green, but il erca Sed
the youthful figure of Miss Alice
Brady. And we can think Of no
greater reward for the effort il
axes TO get 10 and stay in Phila-
delphia than sight OF Miss Alice
Brady.
Will Be Here Monday.
Alice Brady is one II those rare
persons who haEe routh. enthusi;-sn
and success at one and the same
time. II is seldom that this combi-
nation works. Youth usually does
'ts little turn, then enthusiasm AMI
finally success, after the other two
have worn themselves 10 skin and
bone. But Alice Brad IS the en-
bodiment of all three She will DC
here Monday al the Belssco with
DeWolf Hopper and the Gilbert and
Sullivan revivals-where AL Wash
IEgton can sec for itself.
Youth shines from her eyes with
2 merry twinkle and gives spring TO
her step as she literally skips across
the stage or the street or the hotel
dining room or wherever else she
might happen to be. Always she is
the center OF attraction. She is a
happy girl. she says. and yet there
are times when her mouth Fuckers
into a pout and her forehead wears
a froWn. Even with youth enthusi