The Washington herald., 1914-12-27

When Brother Gardner introduced the
Hon. Lysander Hastings to the audience
gathered in Paradise Hall, the stranger
| sized up as a young man Of about TWEEN
| ty-four. with a straight back and a the
| illogical cast OF countenance. II was ex-
planned that while his profession was
that of selling a root beer OF his own in
vention, he had been studying history
| by the light OF a corncob fire at night
\ and had already become known as the
.'ColOred Cicero OF North Carolina"
Cicero, and then the orator made his
| bow and began:
'1 ask yo' to go back wild me down de
| aisles Of de past to de garden of Eden.
dat dat garden was de beginnin' Of de
| world. At least It was de fust garden
dat we has any trace of it. II was a
great big garden, wild flowers an fruits
an rivers on ebery hand. De watermil-
lyon was dar.' an de persimmon tree
was dar. an de yam was CROWN as big
as barl. an de coon an .possum can
tered about in a way to make yo'r mouf
water. Great applause and cries of
Yum! yum!O. Fur hull var. mebbe.
dar' wasn't no human be in in dat gar
den. Den Adam come along an looked
oLer lie fence an took possession. 1t
was jest de spot he had been lOOkin' fur
wasn't no work to be done round dar.
He could sot on de fence all day an
sleep on dc grass all night. (Cries OF
What a snap for AdamD
Il dunno how long il was befo' Adam
dun got tired OF dat good thing an be-
gan TO kick. but dar come a day when
he wanted To frow up his job. He was
gwine to climb ober de fence an go
away when woman appeared. He didn't
aNed no queshuns as to whar' she come
from. how old she wor. or whaT' de rest
Of her family hung ont. lie was miRHtv
glad to see her an he helped her Ober
de fence into de garden an said he
hoped shed stay all summer. Dat
Eve. wells for Adam and whoops for the
garden.) From all dat ANYBODY has been
able to Iarn, Adam and Eve was de fust
two people on airth. II thar was any
body ahead OF 'em. dey didn't leave der
names lyin' around to br got at I
bring dis matter up yere tonight In or
der to correct n popular impression
an Eve was black folks. Sich an i'm
preston was sent abroad about twenty
vars ago by de Rev. HorseTadish John
son. OF NirGlny. who was good man.
but way of in history. an il has bin
ga'nn' ground cher since.
Bruddcr Gardner tells me dat most of
dis Limekiln Club goes around stepPin'
hiSh on dat account an dat he himself
fully sun-tanned, eben il deir ha'r didn't
kink. Gigantic applause and yells for
Brother GardnerO
MY frens. don't make de mistake of
fallin' down a well while trvin' 20 climb
ladder. While not engaged in sellin'
Dc best root beer on de face OF the airth
! new 1eNOtcO my time to readln Gn on
de past. an / is dead suah dat garden
Of Eden was de beEinnin of dc worI
Fur de pride an glory Of our race I
should hev r"joicsd 10 find out dat Adam
an Eve had de color OF good old-fash-
toned lamp-bIack but il was not to be.
Groans and lamentationsO hcv
twisted sacred an secular history in
fc'tv different directions. hut can't
make IL come out oUr way. When a
man tells yO' to go around wild yo'r hat
on yo'r ear an spit ober yo'r shoulder
kase de fuSt two people on riS sirth was
Of our color. don't you believe II.
More grosns) 1t am trIe dat while
wanderin' around de garden Adam an
Eve got powerfully sunhUrnt. same as
white folks do at de seashore. but IL all
cold. 1t may glib us main to do it. but we
has got TO come right down an aC-
KNOWLEDGE dat de white man was we're
fust. reluctant cheers for the white
mani
Put II vo' am disappintod in one di-
rectiOn yO' may he grstificd in another
From all I kim rarn. an TZe rarn"d a
heap. de Colored race begun wild Ham.
I'Ze got dat pusson's record down fine
In his looks he was a man to he proud
Of. an no didn't take no back seat in de
matter of knowledge. (Cheers.D Anybody
who took Ham fur a SrecnhOTn got LEFT
NellsD Fl" wasn't cast out by his fam
'lY on account of his color. as some folks
would hev yo' believe. but arter hanEin
around fur awhile an findin' things pow
erfuI slow ne decided to go away an sot
ont for himself. CRedhot appIauseD He
went. an he made a success Of II. Dat
Ham he raised mo cattle and sheen an
vans an watermillyons dan any white
time came when he bossed a miIIyon
people. He was a huh bakery in his
self. an when he died ne loft nun
money behind him TO fill a canal boat