davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1914-10-21
EorestaIled.

considerable expense a certain
ish town council had erected pup
winning baths. and they were
I'd by one of the leading men OF
aeighborhood. OF the proudest
. was Sandy. who had been ap'
ID bath superintendent. Sandy
two hobbies-dog breeding and
ming. Just prior to the opening
.ony one of the local councillors
d and fell into the six foot end
bath. Come cot o that!' roared
:, leaning over and catching the
tunate one by the hair. Come
). that! That baths no opened
IN on firm foothOld the councillor
20 laugh the matter away. ANY
[ have had the first SWIM ne
led ye hadna." responded Sandy
y. ME IN tn dogs mad a DIP
.Irning"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1914-10-21

carpet. Luckily the drawer was wa
IT,, tight, and i.abOuchere rang the bell
again and proudly ordered from the
amazed waiter IL second bowl OF punch
He Toured this also into the oak side.
hoard and in IL few minutes rang for
the bill. tipped the waiter majestical-
~ and swa.sered out OF the hotel
nni,. satisfied that be had won the nd.
mratiun and respect OF the startled
stan that gazed open mouth~d attea
him rs he went.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1914-10-21
The Stone Age.

When State Senator Cal stone or It.
Paul was In the passenger department
of the Northern Pacific railroad he
wrote many hitter letters to the pas
senvcr department of the Great North
ern.
Suddenly he was made general pas
seneer agent Of the Great Northern.
Al he came in to take his new desk
the man he succeeded handed him an
Immense file Of papers.
"Nov'. dod CAST you" he said to
Stone, "sit down here and answer your
own letters: Saturday Evening Post
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1914-10-21

conceived the no.
tiun ct doing the
NAN about town
tor an hour or
two. So. having
dressed himself
with s%crupu!Ous
care. he sailed
forth and. enter
ing the hest no.
tel in the place.
engaged Il pri,
! vatt room ana Ill
a ,urlly manner
ordered Il bowl
ut punch. The
waiter stared.
nut brought the
liquor and went
away. The boy.
having tasted 1t.
found it horrible.
tie promptly
poured 1t into
the lower com
%partinent OF Ill
antique Uak side
tN,ard. he wait
I'll II little to set
whether 1t wOulC
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1914-10-21
Proof Positive.

The late Arthur McEwen used to tell
u, an irish friend Ut his vi" made the
statement that the sun l. composed ot
IT,. and proved II.
IN sun ~ n made nv ire.' ne sa'd.
" lis not c0ntended Il nearpr
" il> ~. IN IN prove ~ I ye. NnH
IT ivcr IN II CUn>tuck mine:
~ wn2'
"Muz yrz ut tn twenty thr"" nun.
fred .ivil:"
- wy
IAN WV il hntT
"ti"i ~ ~ tlvll..'
"N ~. tnln 90 out an nave Il Iuk III
IT. t,I> "v III" mountains yOnder All
cvvr,r,, with lee nm snow. The nearer
IT, ~, SUI, II l. the cnidel II L. an the
tnr,..' nwav IN n"ttri. TN Sun do M
. made nv Ice = saturday Evening Post
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1914-10-21
autical.

I vas on West street. The seafar-
man was steering a zigzag course.
wing now to starboard and now to
t. A young woman bound In the
osite direction sought to minimize
4. danger Of a collision by making a
e detour. but the seafaring man
rped dead. .
Keep a straight course ahead. MISS
said CALAMITY; ''let me do the tack
New York Post.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1914-10-21
He Was Really Human.

,ty was on II visit to Doncaster.
Yorkshire woman had gone on
rse for the sole purpose OF see
Glands greatest. and she called
'itedly: (which is the king:
is the king" There he is
lie one near. "lna( 5 uHh Will
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1914-10-21

who was la lOri-
"u>ly tu.gin. 1T
Il large. heavy
laden box. which
seemed almost as
wide as the door
way h u Z h
which he was
trying to move it.
Presen tly the
kindly disposed
y K e ap-
preached the per.
spring drayman
and said with q
p%atronizing air:
Like to have q
lift?"
Bet yer life,"
the other replied.
and for the next
two minutes the
two men on op.
posite sides Of
the box worked.
lifted. pulled and
wheeZed. but the
box stuck fast.
went at 1t
again, but it did
not move an inch.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1914-10-21
labouchere's Debauch.

One day while l.abouchere was a
Srhonihuy ut Elton tsays Thorold's Life
OF i~.abuuchere"). his store Of pocket
money being at high water mark. re
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1914-10-21

Thy Task Shall Have Thy Heart.
The instant we begin to think about
.ccess and the effect of our work.
, play with one eye IN the gallery
, lose power and touch and every.
ing else.-K ipling.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1914-10-21

man Strengthened up and said between
ruffs. Il don't believe we can get it in
there"
Get it IN" the drayman almost
shouted. "Why. you blamed muttOr-
head. I'm trying to get it out"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1914-10-21
- The -
Scrap Book
A Tug Of War

The well dressed. !urtiy man stood
br several ,nnlnenlS watching the
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23
CLEAN UP SATURDAY.

Cleanup day next Saturday, accord ing to the decree of the Business Mems Association. The day for a general raking-up of the leaves, dead vegeta- tion and rubbish that have accumulated during the winter, in back and front yards, alleyways and every old place about the premises. Canaan has set pattern ill the annual clean-u up, to many of the small towns, and our citizens may be relied on to keep up the record next Saturday.
 The Boy Scouts will have an oppor- tunity to demonstrate their usefulness as an organization by taking hand in the general work of cleaning up, where assistance is needed. In other towns the Scouts have won high praise for their helpful and effective work on cleanup day.
 The smoke of the bonfire should be seen in various quarters of the town, Saturday, proclaiming the cremation of debris, and at the close of the day the sun should go down on a cleaner, brighter, more beautiful Canaan.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23
THE WAR.

Even while the august statesmen of the solemn United States Senate were ponderously arguing over the prelim- inaries, plans and specification, etc., Uncle Sam became actually busy in a genuine war with Mexico. Before the Senate solons could clearly define to their mutual satisfaction, the differ ence 'twixt tweedle-dum and tweedle- dee, the shooting began and good, brave Yankee blood was spilled in the taking of Vera Cruz, and now the war is on, with all it's possibilities and probabili- ties along the line of General Sherman s definition.
 Whatever view may be taken of the preliminary arguments, the pronuucia- mentos, ultimatums, and diplomatic technicalities, the bald, gruesome fact now is that Uncle Sam has undertaken and embarked upon the exhilarating job of giving Mexico a thrashing, and it is up to our vigorous Uncle to pitch in and deliver the goods-and every loyal American citizen will devoutly pray for more power to his elbow.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23
star-spangIed Banner Centennial.

Star-Spangled Banner Centennial.
 The State of Connecticut will be well represented at the celebration of the centenary of the writing of the Star Spangled Banner" which will be held in Baltimore, from September to IS, this year. Governor Baldwin has appointed delegates for the state and Mayor Rice, of New Haven; Mayor Wilson, of Bridgeport, and Mayor Cheney, of Hartford, have named per s ms to represent their respective cities. The governor, who is one of the honor. ary vice-presidents of the centennial commission, will be invited to 40 to Baltimore with his staff and members oE the militia to participate in the 'Star Spangled Banner' parade, Sep- tsmber l2, when the original fiag'' will be escorted through the streets of Baltimore, to Fort McHenry, by Presi. dent Wilson, the governors of IS states that formed the Union in 1874, and a picked guard from each of these states. Baltimore will spend S1 ,000, 900 to fit- tingly commemorate the writing of the national anthem. The character of the centenary has struck responsive chord in all sections. President Will son, former President Taft and former President Roosevelt, members of the Presidents Cabinet, Vice President Marshall, Speaker Champ Clark, Ad- miral George Dewey, General Leonard Wood and other prominent persons have accepted invitations to attend. Foreign nations will be represented by members of the diplomatic corps and battleships. To date 20 governors have appointed delegates to 20 to Balti- more and the mayors of 10 cities have named representatives to attend the celebration. Those who will go from Connecticut are:
 State of Characterization. Morris B. Beardsley, Bridgeport General Edwin s. Greeley, New Haven; Dr. Walter R. Steiner, Hartford; James $. Hemingway, New Haven; Miss Helen E. Chase, Waterbury.
 New Haven-Edward A. Hartman.
 Bridgeport-L. B. Curtis, Hon. Pat. rick Kane, Hon. A. B. Beers,' John A. Leonard, James H. Crossley, Michael E. Griffin.
 Hartford-Congressm Augustine Lonergan, Meigs H. Whaples, Francis B. Allen, Charles w. Newton, Edward c. Frisbie, Dr. G. O. F. Williams, William Brosmith, Francis R. Cooley, M. Levin Hewes. ..
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23
Letters From the People
Why is a Bald-iead |?
, Editor of The News:

To the Editor of The News:
 There seems to be a difference of opinion as to whether a bald-headed condition is a mark of intellect or its opposite.
 According to "Ksop," there is an other reason for baldness-''A certain man in olden time had two wives. One was young and blooming, and wished her husband to appear as youth ful as herself.
 1.-The other, somewhat more advanced in age, was as anxious that her hus- band should appear as a suitable match for her. So while the young wife seized every opportunity of pulling out the good man's grey hairs, the older one was just as industrious in pluck ing out every black hair she could find, till between the one and the other he had not hair left
 This fable teaches-What? Can the Bald-Head Club of America elucidate the lesson of it? J. $. A.
 Canaan, April II.
 The above fable would seem to emphasize the well-known truth, that 8 bald-headed man is an indulgent husband to his wives, and gives them proof of his affection in black and white.-Ed.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23
What the Other Fellows Say.

The Georgia peach crop has been ruined twice and it is only the middle of April. Eagle.
 It is rather remarkable that some of the most logical and convincing speeches which are being made in behalf of President Wilson's toll repeal bill came from the lips of Republicans, while some of the most bitter denunciation of the measure comes from his own polit- ical fireside.-A1isonia Sentinel.
 No one yet seems to have devised a method of taking satisfactory moving pictures of baseball games. When that stage is reached the enormous earnings the movies have produced ill the past should be as nothing compared to the possibilities of the future. Hartford Post.
 Having heard ,that the Colonel and William Randolph Hearst may be New York's candidate for senator, the Chi cago Inter- Ocean is confirmed ill its long standing belief that New York is no it place to live in.-HartfOrd Times.
 One of the talented editors of the state and gentleman who is thoroughly informed on the subject of the benefits and disadvantages of tho employment Of convict labor hit some of his critics what might be called something of a pleasant wallop by remarking the other day that some of those who are partici- pating ill the controversy know little or nothing of prison life because some Of them have never seen the inside of one. Just how would you take that observation if you were sitting up a tree and watching the procession going by? Now don't all speak at once New Haven Union.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23
Getting Hunk.

John Rodemeyer, of Canaan, who edits The Connecticut Western News when he is not too busy being president of the Bald-Head Club of America, prints ill his paper an interesting article concerning Connecticut newspapermen of the past and present.
 Mir. Rodemeyer is himself a news paperman of both the past and the pres ent, not to mention the future. That makes it seem the more remarkable that ill his article he should have omitted all mention of one of the most pictur- esque of the Connecticut scribe tribe, battered and battering veteran who was in on the death of the Winsted wild man; who took unto himself q wife after years of devotion to the state of single blessedness; who once suc- ceeded ill getting two dominies to run his paper for him while he when cavorting away on a wedding trip; who, in historic editorial, defied the cowardly vultures to trample on the voices of the people, and who has estab- lished many other claims to undying fame. Times.
 Why give too much credit where it doesn't belong? The Bald-Head Club of America has only one president Robert J. Orr, of Pittsfield-whose ex- ecutive management has given the Club worldwide fame. Give honor to whom it is overdue.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23
It Happened, But

He worried for fear it would rain the next day
 It happened, but still he is with us. He feared that his whiSkers from black would turn gray It happened, but still he is with us. He feared very much he would lose all his hair. He feared he would part with his flesh and grow spare, lie feared that the stork would deposit a pair
 It happened. but still he is with us. He worried for fear he was in for the He got them. but still he is with us. He feared that his pay wouldn't meet all his bills
 It didn't, but still he is with us. He feared that the Congress would pass certain laws, lie feared he would lose the best tooth in his jaws It happened, but still he is with us. He worries for fear his good clothes wouldn't last He junked them, but still he is with us. He feared that his watch might be rum ming too fast It galloped, but still he is with us He feared, that the flies would be thicker this year, He feared he would lose all his fondness for beer, He worried for fear he would worry for fear
 It happened, but still he is with us.
 Exchange.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23
A PARADOX.

At the Greenwich dinner of the State Mems League forW Woman Suffrage, each of the five "great parties" was represented by distinguished speaker, who cited the attitude of his party on the question of woman suffrage; and from this symposium it would appear that each of the parties was the first to declare for woman suffrage, and each is more eager than all the others for the enactment of universal suffrage law. Possibly somebody, at the next annual banquet, may be able to tell how it is, that with all the political parties in Connecticut favoring woman suffrage, the women can't vote.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23
SENATOR MILAN RECALLS.

Once newspaper scribe, always a hankering for newspaper scribbling. They never really and fully get over the restless "itching" for journalism, no matter how exalted the station to which fortune and fate assign them in after life. The fascination is of the gripping kind that never completely lets go, as witness the following, from United States Senator George P. Nc Lean, referring to the article on this page, in last weeks News, concerning the present whereabouts and avocations of many of the old-time Connecticut newspaper men, of whom Senator Nc Lean was one before he took up the profession of law. The Senator writes
 "United States Senate,'
 Washington, April 17th, 1914.
 "My dear MT. Rodeneyer: l have read 'The Old Scribes' and am proud to have been thought eligible to mem- bership in your list of Connecticut inn mortals. When I recall those days l somehow feel they were the most in- teresting of my life-certainly they are the easiest to remember and fill with regrets that they cannot be repeated.
 "With high personal regard, l am
 ''Sincerely yours,
 "Geo. P. Mclean" "
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23
NORTH CANAAN HAS

A population Jf f2,171, Census of 1910.) Two rairoaus.
 National and Savings Banks. Trolley railroad extending through the Berkshires to Pittsfield and beyond. Up-to-date High School and frst-class school system.
 Five churches. First-class hotel.
 Fire department. including chemical en- zine. Ten miles of State Roads. Electric light and power plant, Complete Sewer System.
 Nsver-failing water supply and the best warer in the state.
 Wide-awake Business Mems Association. Extensive lime and iron industries. Fraternal and benefit societies. Brass band.
 Up-to-date department stores. Pure air and wholesome climate.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23

If you can think of anything that can be done to beautify or build up your town, go do it. Keep your capi. tai at home; patronize home industry; help your merchants so they can sell cheaper; always get your work done at home if possible; subscribe and pay for your home paper; don't steal or borrow the reading of them. If you follow these directions and your town does not improve it is not your fault. Try it. Reporter.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23
Mary's Calf.

To the Editor of The News:
 Isn't this worthy of place among your classics? Mary had little calf,
 Considered much too small, For when she kicked it caused laugh
 She did not like at all. So Mary went and bought pad,
 And tied it on quite tight Now when she kicks it is fad
 To vote her tout of sight. ;
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23

In appointing George J. Vogel chair man of committee to be named by himself, to arrange for becoming reception to the old soldiers of the tri- state G. A. R. Posts, in Canaan, June 15, President Holsapple made the best choice he could have made. MT. Vogel is thorough master of detail, in such 8 position, and when he is at the head of an undertaking, of that or any other kind, there is no ground for apprehen- sion that there will be hitch in any particular.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23

A member of the Bald-Head Club of America has the following ill the Farm Journal: ... '. "You laugh because Pm bald. We'll,
 what of that?
 That's where my dear old mother used
 to pat ..-'...' -'. Me daily on the head, and say,s Well
 donep. .. And so, you see, where hair was, now
 there's none."
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23
Thievery at Twin Lakes.

To the Editor of The News:
 Not alone as a matter of news, but it seems to me as a matter of protection and warning for our neighbors, and perhaps also for the purpose of either direct or indirect discovery of the thieves and identification of the goods, the robbery of my cottage at the Lakes should be published.
 The facts of the matter are, that upon reaching my cottage last Satur- day, found that the house had been entered through the second story win dow in the rear of the house over the kitchen porch, entrance having been gained by the opening of the shutter and jimmying of the window sash. The door leading to the cellar from the inside of the house was also forced open in similar manner; later the kitchen window which is also secured by the outside batten windows, was discovered to be open, the outside batten window being unlocked from the inside and set back loosely, after the booty had evil dently ssbeen removed through this open ing. The fact of the batten window being placed back loosely, would lead to believe that the thievery occurred of no long past date, as it would be prob able that same would fall out during rough weather, or prolonged time.
 So far as we could trace during our short stay at the Lakes, the following has been taken: One grey striped tick ing mattress, made il two parts; two 1 4,l,.,,cr striped down pillow, five blankets, white with striped color borders, two quilts, colored; four bed spreads, all of good quality; three fishing poles with reels and lines complete, a number of Victor and other phonograph records, and other trinkets of minor value.
 understand that conditions and oc- currences of this Mind are not exactly new in our section for the past few years, and from what I have inferred, it has seemed the part of wisdom for the victim to permit the matter to go unnoticed, for reasons perhaps of incon- venience, or time that it may require on his part. believe that this is a condition which should not be allowed, and every means should be put into motion to put a quietness on the fur therance Of thievery, be it sneak or otherwise.
 In view of that fact, I offer a reward of Two Hundred and Fifty Dollars ($250. 00) for the arrest and conviction of him or them, who may have com mitted this act. " .,
 Yours very truly,
 Henry F. Keii.
 New York, April IA,
 P. $. I understand upon inquiry that the cottage formerly owned by MT. Lupprian, lying in the foreground of my premises, which I purchased re- gently, contained blankets and sheets, (, III c,E 1.rhi1.l kn1rn licn,,,,nn,.nl Icrr-
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23
THURSDAY. APRIL 23, 1914

It is not poverty that causes sor- row, but covetous desires; nor does wealth deliver from fear, but only reasoning. If, therefore, you ac- quire habit of reasoning, you will neither desire riches nor complain of poverty. .-Epictetus. @
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23

The beneficent influence of a good example is shown in the fact that Cupid has had an unusually busy season here abouts, the past winter, and Hymen is scheduled to get his fine work in, ex- tensively, before the year is half gone.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23

Also Senator DuPont, powder maker, is among those who would not object to a scrap.-Pittsfeld Eagle.
 We'll, he's likely to have one on his hands, right here in Canaan, if MT. John B. Reeds protest against the powder and dynamite magazines doesn't flash in the pan.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23

There's something in the observation of Editor Lynn Wilson, of the Bridge port Farmer, that ''go-to-church-Sun- day" is convincing some people that it is possible to get up in the morning for a 10:3O service without serious injury to- their health.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23

Says the Waterbury Republican: "Some men are made mighty misera- ble because other men have automobiles in which to give their families and guests an airing, Sundays; but there is compensation in the Monday morning news of unavoidable accidents. "
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23
THE EWS' AGENTS

Extra copies of The News are on sale at thu ofice of publication and at
 Dempsey's Drug Store, Canaan, Post Office, East Canaan. D. H. Oakes' Store Lakeville, Post Office. Falls Village, George T. Johnsons Store, Norfolk, Scutt & Rood. Ashley Falls. A. L.. Dickinson. Salisbury. J. w. Morgan, Great Harrington, Mass.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23

Now that Miss Helen Taft has joined the suffragists, and her mother the antis, the judicious non-committal at- titude of William H. will be the more readily understood.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23

President Wilson can afford to un- bend a bit upon the subject of his legis- lative trust program. The people are not bowling for it as much as he thinks. What they want more is a chance to catch their breath. h.-New Haven Jour nal Courier.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23

Get Together. Pull Together. The standard of the old town can be raised 100 per cent if all hands will get to- gether and pull together.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23

When sixty-four out of the seventy one national banks of Connecticut vote in New York city as regional center, it looks as if the "See New England First" campaign had failed the finan- cial commnuity.-Waterbury Rerubli- can.
Connecticut western news., 1914-04-23
AS AN ADVERTISING MEDIUM

The News should appeal with special force to the sagacious business man.
 It has an extensive circulation in Western Connecticut, aud especially throughout Litch- field County and Southern Be-Ishtre.
 It has 8 competent staff of wide-awake cor respondents in the various towns to report the local doings each week. and goes into the homes sni Is perused by the entire families of the thrifty, intelligent, reading class of people whom the long-headed advertiser most desires to reach.