Newark evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1909-1916, 1914-08-08
Rev Books


Who knows what would happen to
me?
Whenever 1 see a Dentiferous Grin
With a bellicose beam in its eye
My current of courage grows thready
and thin
And l feel unaccountably shy"
And now let us hear from the Bell
man, joint commander of the "Piffle,,
that phantom Flying Dutchmau." in
the turbulent political seas. Here is
his recipe for Mexican ills" in the
form of patent political pills." and
the Bellman says of them, you may
take them in tariffs or take them in
tolls for national fevers or chills."
Then he gives the formula, as fol-
lows
"A flavor of dreams, such as poets
have hymned
A measure of conscience (refined).
And a trace of ambition, tenaciousIy :.
trimmed,
With a passion for serving man
kind.
This recipes only intended for minds
OF a high intellectual sort,
But I've made out (for people of COM
moner kinds)
A formula simple and short i
Then, in algebraic form, there comes
the panacea, after which the Bellman
encouraSlnS1y says.
No mere lack of culture units you
to tread
The maze of this sweet syllogism,
It's P ya,fe Hy.d Plain + you stand on
And look at the thing through
prism.
And surgeons have said that when
carefully read
IN mi
Brings Bats to the Belfry or Wheels
to the Head
And produces Perceptive Paresis.
i play it in Persian, paint it in
solve it in Swedish and Spanish;
In Aztec, which one would assuredly
Would cause apprehension to vanish
But the moral effect on Niagara
Park
Might be land it troubles me muctD :
That the Bandersnatch couldn't get
hold of the Shark
Which would certainly put it in
Dutch"
AS a last quotation from the work
of Mr.. Doyle, let us take the tribute
of the servile Beaver, who wears "a
richly embroidered cooked hat" to
the Bellman his superior officer:
While quite without flaw, in respect
for the law,
Constitutions are wax in his hands,
Though he knows that, of course, he's
bound to enforce
Constitutions in neighboring lands.
I'm foreign relations his method il
sound;
1t convinces, delights and allures.
1t is simply to send his chief Offices
round
On lucrative lecturing tours.
His lofty ideals are frequently
backed
BY change in political creeds
And a modification of statements of
To suit argumentative needs.
His diplomacy frail. wears nebu-
1ous veil,
Being sinuous, wavy and neat,
So it easily takes in a tenpenny nall
And turns out a corkscrew COM
plete.''
The foregoing may be called the
log of the "Piff1e," such a craft as
was never known of on the seven
seas That Mr.. Doyle, as he says,
owes much to that marvellous genius
in the elucidation of the higher
mathematics, in the brilliant illustra-
ton of allegory suited alike to the
child and the scholar, the late Lewis
Carroll, is evident.
The other day the good ship
"Piffe" was boarded by an eminent
Manhattan physician interested in the
progress of the Bell Man.
"Ah,' said he, as he gazed at the
figures on the quarter deck the
richly embroidered cooked hat of
the Beaver conspicuous in the sun
light. che would do well to look to his
bearings and hug a lee shore. The
Bell Man might treat him as he did
his benefactor, who, indeed, unwarily
picked up a lemon
THE MASTER or THE 'PIFFLE.'"
A psychological phantasmagoria in five
screams and kick, including an ancient
Aztec formula for scientific treatment of
all internal troubles. BY Lind C. Doyle,
jr Walker, Street and Doolittle, New
York, 1914