The Pleasantville press., 1914-03-14


selves in the spirit of compromise. of
quietly talking matters over. of gentle
conference of two, working to the at
tainment of common aim and a sin
gle ideal. These. after all. are only
questions of taste and of Judgment
Often more subtle and vital are those
problems that relate to temperament
Sometimes a word of impatience
may bring its echoing reply in the
same spirit to the lips of the other,
but a seconds firmness, just mo-
mentary self control, an instants
translation of the thought into another
key of sweetness and sympathy. and
the desecrating discord has been passed
In safety. Sometimes, too. silence of
gentle reproof may be oil of compro-
mise on the troubled waters.
Most of the surrenders in married
life are in trifles where it really makes
no difference which surrenders. The
great questions, the large problems,
usually unfold all their phases under
the sunshine of conference and the
issue is the dual wisdom In single
verdict which is unanimous. II the
matter be vital and the jury of two
cannot agree on a verdict, then it
seems part Of wisdom of compromise
for the one who is the ADLER judge of
what is proper and fitting in the spe-
cial instance to decide the momentous
question with the force of final vote
There are occasionally topics of con-
versation upon which the two cannot
agree, where the husband or the wife
feels the rightness or wrongness of a
seems to brook no opposition. 1t may
be as far outside of the field of logic
as the most distant star is beyond the
solar system-then what is the use of
trying to put new life into dead issue
by discussion?
When the signs thin. ice" are con-
spicuous, it really might seem like
prudence to confine the conversational
skating nearer to the shore line. Argu-
ment in general is dangerous, and often
a graceful dropping of the subject is
a kindly admission that there may be
two sides to the question.
Do you not think we often expect too
much of those who are dear to us and
that this very exaggeration may often
render us unjust? The optimistic eff
fort to make the best of things. to look
as closely as possible on the sunny
side of life and its problems, to keep
away from needless worry and useless
ing the wheels of the domestic regime.
1t is a talent worthy of cultivation in
the home-the special ability not to see
certain little inharmonies that may ad-
just themselves if they are unnoted.
The spirit of compromise does not de-
mand continuous performance in the
way of self surrender and self sacri-
fee. 1t does not require ceasing to be
a voice and becoming an echo. 1t does
not imply or justify any loss of indi-
viduality. 1t means simply the instinc-
tive recognition of the best way out
of difficulty, the quickest lacking to
avoid collision, the kindly view of
tolerance in the presence of the weak
ness and errors of another.
There are men who take no more
genuine interest in their home beyond
paying the bills than if they were
merely occasional guests. They seem
to regard home as a mere dormitory
and dining room. They often wonder
in a vague way why their marriage is
not successful. If it were success
it would be a miracle.
There are wives who spend most of
their days outside the home walls.
devoting their golden hours of posi-
bility to dress, visits, theaters, gossip
idleness, frivolity and amusement
The house that they might convert into
shrine of love and peace and happi-
ness is delegated to the care of serv-
ants. Their children are practically Or
phaned under the trusteeship of
nurses. These women are losing the
realities of life in chasing shadows
They are mere dodgers In their own
homes. They are too much interested
in the side lines of life to spend ear
nest thought on making the real bust
ness, marriage, a success. They are
often the ones who, in bursts of femi-
nine confidence, bemoan the failure of
their married life and display their
robes of martyrdom
Nature meant husband and wife to
supplement each other, to be stronger
because of their union. differing in
their qualities. in their powers and pos
sibilities, but harmonized and uniting
for the best solution of their life prob
lens. The husband can find no help
in the counsel of his wife in an emer-
gency if he has stifed her power of in
dividual thinking or permitted it to
become dulled and deadened through
disuse.
And the tastes and pleasures which
were her resources in the years before
she met him need not be renounced
merely because they fail to appeal to
him. The books she loves to read, the
picture which for her holds beauti-
full meaning-such things may fail to
touch him, but that Is no reason that