The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-06-07
HOW TO GET ALONG WITH BABY
me Facts and Fanes Concerning the King the Crib and Advice
Parents Who Are Generally Liars Concerning DoingsKeep
Diary of All the Unmistakable Signs Of Genius Displayed

endowments not vouchsafed by nature
to common everyday infants. II you in
sist on superlatives from the doctor he
Is apt to get into serious trouble with
the rest Of his clientele.
At first it will require considerable
ingenuity adequately to Interpret the
baby's remarkable exploits. the little
mischief does so many, many things
not yet catalogued in the baby books;
but with perseverance and the aid of n
reliable manual, which will he gladly
mailed prepaid by any baby food manu-
facturer IL he suspects you've got or
ordered a baby, the resourceful parent
can soon learn to hold his own in any
company. no matter how many other
recent parents may he present.
In serving up the baby's doings. how
ever. the wise parent will take the pre-
caution to keep his incidents well within
the bounds of human possibility, hard
though that may he. If he doesn't find
the proposed incident mentioned In the
manual he'd better be extremely careful
how he tells It to other parents for
there is no one So quick to detect eXag-
geration In parents recital az another
parent in the same boat
IL story has the least mite OF doubt
in your own mind try 1t first ON some
other young mother or father. should
the other liar come right back with
better one about a better baby than
yours you are safe in springlng the
story on all your friends. But il your
defenceless audience lapses into sudden
silence or changes the subject after YOU
have spun your yarn. you had better
suppress that particular anecdote aud
try another.
Ambitious parents sometimes 10.
down the baby's most noteworthy per-
formances in q diary, while all the de-
tails and embellishments are fresh in
mind. Such a record is invaluable in
the event that the baby ever does
amount To anything in life. How fine
Ii is to posterity To know that a great
man or woman displayed unmistakable
signs of genius even In early infancy.
Does the little tot speak Latin with
unusual fuency for "A two-year-old?
Enter the fact in the diary. IL he eve"
runs for Congress or In marathon or
even to first base on an infield fly. the
Information will he PRICELESS TO his bog
rapher Does the child show a decided
tendency to explore unknown territory
or investigate the flora and fauna of
your neighbours back yard? Write it
down in the diary. There is a magazine
of some kind somewhere which will pay
fabulous sums for just such authentic
Information one of these fine days when
the young man discovers a new way to
dodge a summons.
Certain babies show an inclination to
be unduly bo!sterous in the middle Of
the night when folks like to sleep. In
such cases always look for the three
chief disturbing factors of early infancy
specified in the manual % dislocated
pins. (2) mosquitoes, or 90 other ami
mails This will give the baby to under
stand that you are scientific in method,
and one cannot begin too early to I'M
press upon child the necessity Of
adopting fixed rules Of conduct for guild
ance at all times.
Having failed to suppress the un-
seemly disturbance In this way you may
next take him up in your arms and tote
him around for while, doing "A few
selected steps from the Tartar tango or
other popular terpischorean fantasy.
Youll usually find this VIII soon mako
him quit his yowllng. If he doesn't
then undoubtedly he needs dose of
castor oll' WI p'''eS h''" 'hSV'r o'r
when you can't think of anything else
to do to them
Castor oil will control outbursts which
neither spanking, patty-whacking, scold-
ing or other known means of making
naughty babies behave will repress.
But you must go about administering it
IN mcthodical scientific way. Slip
shod methods of oiiing babies have
wrecked many happy families. and such
methods are unsanitary in the long run.
Take the baby on your lap and hold
him facing you with your left hand,
pour out a tablespoonful of oil with the
other hand. balancing 1t carefully at
arms length, and shouting merrily:
See Daddy's got some nice sweet
candy -medy--um, goody"-Uake sip