The Washington herald., 1914-07-12
DER GERMAN COBBLER
He Makes Some Jokes But They Fall Flat

Der next man who comes in Vhas q
fat man who likes to haf a cement path
for 20 cents. He looks pleasant, und 50
I shoke nit him. I ask him II he gets
oose shoes fixed up for a fat mans
race, und he goes red in der face und
try TO shoke some more, und he calls
me fool und goes out nit der shoes.
md so lose another job! I don't like
il, but dot little tailor says:
Hans, il vhas all right, only I for
got to tell you dot you must be a little
sharp. II a man vhas toe fat or too
thin, don't make some shokes about It.
Nobody likes to be hit
I see how Il vhas. und I shall do
better next time. An old woman comes
in NIT three poIrs of children's shoes &c
be lxed. l ike to shoke nit her und
make It all right, but I don't make no
mistake und shcke about her being sixty
vars old, / say she vhas looking as
yang und 50 smart dot l belief she
vhas twenty years old. vhas laughing
und feeling good when she looks at me
Und says:
- 'Cobbler. ~ you vhas so drunk dot
you can't tell a grandmother from 4
girl / don't ieave no shoes to be fxedr
out she goes, und It vhas bad for me
again. l goes by dot little tailor und
makes a kick, und he says it vhas some
times SO nit an old womans und can't
be helped. 1 must keep right on und It
vhas all y. +. Next day a cook comes
in my shop TO get two buttons sewed on
her dress. She vhas a nice looking girl,
und l like to keep her custom. l sooke
nit her und I says l see her feller walk
ing out NIT another girl. She don't shoke
NIT me. She stands oop und says 1
vhas a liar, und when she goes out /
know she shall nefTer come back. In
two hours young man comes in und
looks at me und says:
How you mean. Ell; you bow-backed,
lop-shouldered liar by some clocks. When
you see me walking out%
Neffer. I don't know you
But you told my Susan you see me
Walking out NIT another girl!
- Dot vhas only some shokes'
' Some shokes. eh? You make a big
quarrel to get some SMOKES! Vhell
maybe haf little shoke NIT you to pay
fur it,
Tt vhas awful-awful!" whispered the
cobbler with many maunful shakes Of
the head. Dot young man almost wrecks
my shop and leafs me for dead. und for
two days I belief all my bones vhas
broke. I sends for dot little tailor, und
he laughs una laughs und says I don't
haf some good judgment. 1t vhas not a
case lot smoking, OUT Tor nattery. II
tell dot cook she hat der smallest feet OF
any lady in town it vhas all right und
nobody kicks me around. remember dot
und when a womans comes in NIT hole
in her shoe don't try to be funny. Dot
shoe vhas a No. 5. but look at 1t und
smile und says:
I declare, but vhas astonished"
How she vhas?' says dot woman.
'Sooch a cute little shoe! Bless me-
but you haf der smallest foot of any lady
in dis city
." You vhas a lier or a fool says dot
woman. Dot shoe vhas No 3 on a wide
last, Und I vhas a window-cleaner und no
lady! Gif me dot shoe und I vhill go by
der next place"
1T vhas shust like dot all ter tlme-aIl
der time said the cobbler as he reached
for his lapboard and began at a piece of
leather. "Eafery time I shoke I make
somebody mad. Eafery time praise any
body it vhas all wrong. People belief
vhas drunk or some fools or crazy. und |
so I goes by dot little tailor und says:
" You say I shall shoke. but you see
I haf lost all my customers. How vhas 1t |
now?'
" Don't shoke no more" be says. 7 I
didn't see how it vhas before, but I do
now Some SMOKES vhas all right in a
tailor shop, but a cobbler shall only bow !
und smile und fix up dose heels for 40
cents"