The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-02-15


do Asked whether Lind was a vis!4
tor in Mexico. Huerta replied: visitors
He's n regular boarder."
Uncle Joo-"what is he doing down
THEREOF
Huerta-'lIe. I guess"
Uncle Joe-"Are you nearing tho end
Of your resources?"
Huerta--"Not n hit of 1t. The print
Ing presses are working overtime. and
the output OF government bonds is
good"
IIucrtn Bursts Into Song.
And then he burst into song to the
air OF He Rambles":
"A year rvc been President down In
Mexico,
But now an Intimation comes that
VIII have to go,
kind friend on tho north has stimu-
lated this demand.
Until I'm forced to think at last I
viii soon be canned.
"Oh. then I will ramble, ramble,
I'll ramble all around,
TIL safety I've found.
oh. then / will ramble, ramble,
I'll ramble. but not on my native
ground"
In thrilling melodrama was told the
minlstration. concluding with an i'm
pressiVe tablcauX of the formal sigma
ture or the Constitution of Peace, put
ting to the test of merriment the poll
cies and prospects of the dominant
party. Trusting the trusts was the
name of this melodrama, and the pur-
pose was disclosed in an eloquent pro-
logue.
Here, then. tonight we'll strive to
make most clear.
That busting trusts may 30 with
kindly feeling.
That sentiment and all that gives
good cheer,
Are not apart from what once seem
ed raw dealing.
From busting trusts we turn to trust
the trusts,
Thus runs tho now wilsonian dis
pensatlon;
trust that's trusted; It no longer
busts,
Or in Its heart can shelter that sem
sation"
The plot opened with Father Trust
and Daughter Industry in hiding.
Trust is startled Mt the likeness of In
dustry to her dead sister. Infant In
dustry." who was SO beautiful that
her FACE looked like So per cent ad
valorem."
Industry-"What happened TO her7"
Trust-"The Democratic acid throw
ers got her"
Industry-"Did they got you. too?"
Trust-"No; but they're after me
with poisoned needle. The word
trust is no longer respected except on
a twenty dollar gold piece. and Roose-
welt tried to take 1t off of that"
McRcynolds Makes Advances.
Enter McReynolds who makes ad-
vances to Industry. saying:
II will clothe you in silks and deck
you in diamonds" to which the girl re-
piled:
Never? I know your idea OF clothes.
You want every ono to dress like the
blindfolded lady with the scales"
Then McReynolds tempts the father,
urging him to dissolve the trusts; keep
part of what you have and draw divi-
dends without voting privileges from
the rest"
Trust-"what good will that do2"
.McReynolds-"All the trust-busters
In Congress will be put out Of business.
They Will have nothing left to bust"
Finally under the fear of the mob,
Trusts throws himself upon the mercy
of the new Interstate Trade Commits
sion. otherwise the brothers Cheery-
to their constitution Of peace" under
which the trusts come to our commits
sion when they feel naughty, and we
tell them how to be good"
On board the battleship Friendship
was held an examination Of n class of
Jackets by ono of Secretary Dan
icls's young welfare workers" and
here wero some of the questions and
answers
What is the chief aim of the navy?'
TO knock out the kindergartens."
What is naval strategy?"
.'CarrVinp John Lind from, Uaro S.r,,
to Pass Christian without letting any
body know it."
Following In the wake OF the ship
came an ancient. giving his name rs
Apt Alteration" which was no other
than Woodrow Wilson or Champ Clark
or Luke Lea or Knute Nelson or Tom
TaEgart or Bill Barnes or Swnger Sher-
ley" He was afraid his baby, Watch
full Waiting" had been killed as the
other poor Dollar Diplomacy"
New President Innugurnted.
In Il colorful picture, illustrative OF
his ancestry. Ernest G.. Walker, CORE
spondent OF the Boston Herald and the
Springfield Republican, was initiated
into the office of president OF the Grid
iron Club, rs n preliminary to much
merrymaking. Broad brimmed Puri-
tans. whose cogu6mens savored OF pill
grim's Progress" marched with plume cd
cavaliers of the Southland to do honor
10 tho new president. who was signin-
cantly warned upon taking up his office
that the Gridiron Club stands for only
one term"
1t was in tropical Santo Domingo
That the Gridiron initiated its most re-
cent accessions to membership In the
persons OF Ben T.. Allen, of tho Glove
land Plain Dealer, and Sumner NJ. Cur
tie, OF the Chicago Record-Herald. A
change of scene effected while the
lights were lowered. disclosed q group
OF Dominican generals arranging for
a presidential election, such as were
usually held on Mondays and Thurs
days. For this occasion an extra cleo
ton was held on Saturday. and the
generals were playing freeze out" for
the nomination. To this the "observ-
ers' sent by the Washington state De-
partment strongly objected and de-
manded the substitution of the presi-
Dental primary system, but before
their Will could be enforced they were
discovered to be two ''molders of pub
lie opinion" so, OF course. Washington
newspaper men, and thus eligible to
membership I'm the club. which prompt
ly adopted Thorn.