The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-04-02
o., the Spur
of the Moment
RY ROY X MOTT TOM
By ROY K. MOULTON.

The Robin.
The robin Is handsome bird.
And musical, forsooth,
But morally he IL absurd.
He cannot tell the truth.
I saw one out In, my front yard,
And merrily did he sing.
thought that he sang@by~ the card
And that. at last, twas spring.
Somehow did believe in him,
took my stormhouse down.
put up my screens with joyous vim.
For hadn't spring struck town?
1 let my furnace fire 20 out, If
I put on B v. DIS,
The sort Of clothes that reach about
Az far down as the knees.
And then the blizzard came along,
The worst I'd ever heard.
listened for the robins song,
But couldn't find the bird.
How to Be an Aristocrat.
Eat dinner at night.
Mortgage your house and buy an auto
mobile.
Let the sroceryman and meat dealers
Borrow enough money to join a couple
Of country clubs.
When there is q reception. have gar
them to the reception.
Place your nose at an angle Of forty
five degrees when you pass an honest
workingman on tho street.
Refer to your Ford as q "motah'' and
shun the street cars on all occasions.
Forget the letter ssr'' in all Of your con-
versation and cultivate a fondness for
grapefruit.
Make a loud noise through the nose
when anybody mentions such a plebeian
thing as work.
Signs OF the Times.
10 lS-
Mexican army. They probably will be old
men by the time the Mexican war is
One Of the little ironies of life il the
fact that the householder must shovel
snow and coal at the same time.
Becker ds doing enough talking to make
up, up Tor all the time he lost while in the
That Chautauqua On. " robber and
outlaw, by the way, was in no way con-
nected with the lecture circuit.
II Texas declares war on Mexico 1t be-
gins to look as though Texas would have
to fight it out alone.
Some Of our musical comedy stars are
finding their level as successful cabaret
conductors.
II March goes out like a lamb this year
It Val go out in very expensive way.
that the man che loves be a sweetheart,
osopher.
Philadelphia man aged eiRhty-six il
serving his seventh sentence for counter
ieiting- A man of his age should know
that counterfeiting is about the poorest
way to make money
George Bailey says Texas will raise
4o0, 90 GO watermelons this year. She
doubtless will raise a lot of something
else not mentioned in polite society.
Sulzer says he will regain the governor
ship OF New York. Sulxer talks like the
celebrated water Of which his name re-
minds US.
A train bound for the New Orleans
Mardt Gras was looted by robbers which
Will be severe blow to the New Orleans
hotelkeepers.
In other words. Detroit has sup
pressed every sort Of vice excepting
the tango.
CnC2e AbneF.
AS long as the telegraph operators.
hold out there IL going to be q market
Tor nnecut chewing tobacco.
1 never see a statesman or an actor
that had cigar named after him that
would smoke one OF 'em on a bet.
MY tdee OF nothing to brAg about il q
turin count icy A,oen-in-law.
Miss Amy Prfngle says she had one can.
didate fer her heart and hand who was q
0ne-armed man, but he wasn't much Of q
success at It, for when he took her out
rfdtn' he had to hold the lines in his
teeth and then couldn't git more'n hall
way round.
Human nature 10 curious The Teller
that raises the first nag and lets on the
first drecracker On q legal holiday q
gen'ally the last . feD6rt at the recrvlfins