Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1914-11-06

thropic Native Sons Who Brought
Home the Bacon.
Once there were two Home Boys
who sailed forth from a struggling
Village in search of an irrational Fe-
male known as Dame Fortune.
When they had covered enough
Ground to be far away from the elder
ly Relations and no one could point
out the Houses in which they were
born they began to Deliver.
It was a sad Jolt to the Walking
Vegetables back in the Stockade when
they heard, on Good Authority. that
Ezra and Bill were slamming 1t over
the Plate and batting above 400.
They simply wagged the ossified
Domes and hoped the Boys were get
ting 1t Honestly.
Ezra and Bill, up among the infiam-
matory Posters and the nervous Elec-
trio Signs, kept on playing Tag with
the Sherman Act until they had it in
Oodles and Bundles and Bales and
Stacks.
Finally. when they became 80 pros
porous that they had to wear Shoes
specially made, with Holes in the top,
they began to be troubled with Tender
Recollections Of Humble birthplace.
They yearned to elbow out from
the Congested Traffic OF the cold and
heartless City and renew Sweet As.
sociations.
They wanted to wander once more
down the Avenues of Rhubarb and
clasp hands with Old Friends whose
simple Hearts averaged about IA
Throbs to the Minute.
It is the regulation Dream OF every
Financial Yeggman to go back to his
Old Town wearing a Laurel Wreath
and have the School Children throw
Moss Roses in his Pathway.
So Ezra sent on Proposition.
He wanted to build Library at the
corner Of Fifth and Main, thereby ma.
king 1t easy for his old Neighbors to
read the Six Best Sellers without
plugging the Authors Game.
He offered to give 10000 bucks II
the Citizens would raise 5000 more
and maintain the Thing.
Ezra had not been in the Habit OF
reading anything except the Tape and
he cared about as much for George
Bernard Shaw as George Bernard
Shaw cared for him.
Nevertheless, he wanted to be re-
membered so Years hence as the Man
who built the Library and not as the
Guy who dealt from the Bottom OF the
Deck. utilizing the Sleeve Device and
the Bosom Hold-Out.
BY the use OF Anaesthetics and For.
ceps the 5000 was secured.
Then the Building was erected and
the only Criticism made was that the
Location was poor and the d-blasted
Concern looked like Barn and It was
arranged wrong inside and nobody
didn't want no Library nohow.
When Ezra came down to the Dedi
cation to face an outraged and tax
burdened People he was Just as popu
lar as Tonsilitis or Sciatica.
Bill came back also.
He floated into Town one day ant
appeared in Jimison's General Stor,
and called for a Good Cigar.
He told Mr.. Unison to take on,
and called up the Boys around tn,
Stove and even those who were chew
Ing were told to put 'em In theil
Pockets and smoke 'em after while.
When the Word got out that Bill
was Buying over at the Bee Hive rep
resentative Citizens came on the JumI
from the Harness Shop and the Under
taking Parlors and the Ellie Bowlinl
Alley.
Every Man that showed got a Lot
tie Lee with a Band around It ant
when Bill left on the $40 a Mob fol
lowed him to the Train.
Ever after that the Word was freel,
passed around that Bill was Prince.
M0RAL-In scattering Seeds o
Kindness do II by Hand and not b,
Machinery.