The Washington times., 1914-01-30
The Troubles of
Mr.. Jarr
Copyright. 1914. by the Press Publishing CO. }
By ROY L. McCARDELL.

day." said Mrs. Jarr when
Mr.. Jarr came home the
other evening. 4 think I'll have a
nervous collapse from the ceaseless
round of social activities the festivities
Of midseasOn impose"
Mr.. Jarr loked az her and remarked:
Il wonder when lam and eggs. will
cease to be rated as Jewelry and will be
within the. means of the upper middle
classes again?"
Now, if that isn't just like you"
cried Mrs. Jarr. Here l am telling
You l think I'll have nervous prostra-
tion and you commence to talk of ham
and eggs"
And onions eaten in haste will re-
move the OdOr of ice cream from the
breath" murmured Mr.. Jarr.
Yes, I can have nervous prostration,
and honestly. too" replied Mrs Jarr.
When one speaks Of art and you reply
about corn beef and cabbage"
4 never mentioned corn beef and cab
bage," Mr.. Jarr declared. 4 just
said what wanted when you said what
you wanted. You wanted nervous pros
tration and l want ham and eggs for
breakfast tomorrow morning. If it isn't
convenient to have ham and eggs I'd
like to have beefsteak smOthered in
onions. Still, as you suggested, corned
beef and cabbage make an excellent
dentifrice."
Il know 1 should give up trying to
be refined" sighed Mrs. Jarr, but I'd
leave it to old Mrs. Dusenberry, who
has the old-fashiOned notion that men
ought to be mothered and made fuss
over in their own homes-Td leave il to
her that you are very trying. When
I talk of nerves you speak of what
you'd like for breakfast tomorrow
morning.
We'll, 1 didn't object to your speak
ing about what you'd enjoy said Mr..
JRrr, why should you object when I
drop a hint about what the morrow's
morning repast should, be-
Clara Mudridge-Smithr is thinking of
going away for rest and irecuperaton,"
Mrs. Jarr explained. And it Just oc-
ours TO me that need a rest too
From the ceaseless round Of social
activities?'' asked Mr. Jarr.
Yes. now the Cackleberry girls sim
ply won't go back home to Philadel-
phia, and I've plainly asked them to go,
and they only say if you knew how
scarce eligible young men are in Phila-
delphia you wouldn't wonder we do not
care to return-so I think I'll have a
nervous collapse.
wasn't a real nervous collapse-you
isTe looking too fine for that"
Yes" Mrs. Jarr went on, after Civ
ing those girls a tango tea, after max
ing them presents Of the Castle cap,
lara Mudridge-Smith gave me-that is,
! gave it to Irene because she was
earring 1t all the time when Gladys
''ackleberry wasn't, and Gladys car
ried on so had 10 buy one for her
nd now I have none Of my own, and
ha-- 81, g.
% get the mail when your hair is up
in kid curriers', for I want to tell you
that these so-caIled electric curriers' have
no electricity in them and Mrs. Gratoh
"'ho sells them confessed to me that
she simply tinctures them with oil of
nepper and asks the ladies she sells
them to to touch their tongues to them
nd feel the electricity because the
electric curriers' are made Of solid radi- |
> m which is charged with electricity !
ecause bald-headed people can't strike !
sparks from their hair like when a !
ats fur is rubbed the wrong way in |
the dark
And now I have a nervous col
'tpse"' muttered Mr.. Jarr. yes, yes, |
-, And then, what was the secret of |
he dukes mysterious conduct on the |
light the apparition was seen for the |
asst time at Hankypank TowersT'
" ell II sOu q OIllg llSleH 10 a person |
'rying TO explain, I'd tell you that as |
he Cackleberry girls are a visitation |
nd not visitors any more, II they won't |
20 away / will. So the best thing |
can do is TO have a nervous collapse |
md go out and spend a few days with |
urs. Jenkins at East Malaria. She's |
been begging me to come out ever since |
"oid weather began, but that was be- |
sause she had no hired girl. Oh. If |
YOU only know how those suburban |
people invite you TO their homes when !
they have no servant. especially IL you /
are good Cook-and say Wen just |
make a jolly lark OF il" -
Where are the CaCkleberry girls?"
asked Mr.. Jarr quietly.
They are out to a tango tea" re-
Piled Mrs. Jarr. so don't be
alarmed if have a nervous collapse /
at dinner. The children will be at old |
Mrs. Dusenberry's, SOS not to alarm |
them"
Il can throw fit. too. If it will help |
any suggested Mr.. Jarr