The Washington herald., 1914-05-26
Statesnes, Real and Near.
By rRrD c. KELLY.

g
Nv FRED c. KELLY.
when IAwrsncs =. sherman. mem
ber-os the picturesque team Of sena.
torial contrasts from Illinois, stepped
out OF law school he bad only si.so to
his name. He had not yet made up
his mind what town he was going 70
practice In. and he feared that by the
time he got all settled and his Office
equipped his sl.so might be almost en-
tirely used up. Rather than run the
risk OF finding himself without capital.
he lent an attentive ear 10 the taik OF
q man who offered him job teaching
school. He said he would think about
it overnight and let the man know
the next morning.
Sherman then went at once into a
caucus with himself and before he
slept had determined that he would not
teach. His reasoning leading up to
that decision was noteworthy.
IF start In teaching school.
thought he. TIL probably hnd the
work rather easy and the pay more
certain than II practice law and I'll
school, I don't want to be a school
teacher permanently because I started
out to be lawyer. Therefore I must
get some less desirable line of work
that I'll be sure to quit at the earliest
opportunity"
So he picked out his town-Macomb.
ni.-hung out his sign and went to
work at a line of endeavor entirely
different from teaching. He drove a
transfer wagon. When not hauling
freight up from the depot he sat in
his office blinking wisely and waited
for clients. Just as he had figured
~, 10 q
large enough to provide him with
regular meals. he reconciled himself to
giving up his place on the delivery
wagon forever.
The day after Senator La Toilette de-
lvered his almost two pounds OF speech
In the Senate-one pound and eleven
ounces to be exact-Representative Barn
hart. Of Indiana, chairman of the House
Committee on Printing. got up to offer
a few figures about the cost of La Fot-
lette's extension Of remarks. Barnhart
was prepared to show that the expense
Of printing the speech in the Congress
sional Record was nearly $4,000. and that
the final cost when the speech Is put
into the bound records, will reach about
s13. 900. II every Congressman went in
for such heavy speeches all the same day.
an issue OF the Congressional Record.
said Barnhart, would cost more than
S7.OO0oO0.
In giving these figures. however. Barn
hart qualified by saying: ''lf my multi
plication is correct" And that brought
a laugh from the House, for on a pre-
yious occasion he read OF a lot of fig
ures that he had accepted from a clerk
and somebody detected an error in null
tipIication of about $4,000. The error
mortified Barnhart more than anything
that has happened to him since he enter
ed Congress, for he insists that in his
school days he stood at the head Of the
class in multiplication and long division
and even In fractions. Not until the
other day was he able to refer to the
incident In a jocular vein.
But whether Barnharts figures are
correct or not, La Follette's 3ss pages.
or approximately two pounds of speech.
will probably remain the professional In
door speech-put record for many seasons
yet to come
Senators Bristow, OF Kansas, and
Smith. OF Georgia. started to mix it up
verbally one day in the Senate chamber
Mr.. President" SAYS Bristow in a
vexed tone, ..it seems to me that the SEN
ator from Georgia thinks he Is running
the United States Senate
oThe chair is not informed on what
the Senator from Georgia has in his
mind" remarked Vice President Mar
shall. tapping politely with his neat little
gavel THE chair unfortunately is not
a mind reader"
"I understand that each Congressman
is entitled to one buffalo" writes a con-
stituent to Representative Wilson. of
Florida. Kindly ship the buffalo to me
to reach here, IL possible, not later than
the 10th of this month. I will greatly ap-
preciate this favor. You. no doubt have
no use for the buffalo yourself, and !
might as well have il as anybody. Let
me know whether II will come by freight
or express. and II / have to pay the
charges II IL comes by express / ought
to know a day ahead. as they could not
keep a buffalo overnight in the express
office. They have no provisions for TAX
ing care OF so large animals 1 am not
even sure a buffalo could get through
the door"
II one can rely on the veracious Con-
gressional Record Representative Maurice
Connolly, of Iowa. did the following bit
of grammar in a House speech the other
day:
These cases are cited simply to show
that the welfare of the employees have
been given due consideration"
And yet turning to the Congressional
Directory, a work of almost equal verify,
We find that Connolly was educated at
Cornell University. New York Law School
Oxford University, England, and the
University of Heidelberg.
When the House Committee on Foreign
Affairs met to enact a near-war measure
shortly after the Tampico incident, Rep
resentative Jeff Levy got up and gravely
expressed himself as follows:
IT dislike to disagree with the Presi-
dent, but / don't think we should go to
war with Mexico just because OF the
little trouble they had there at Tapioca-"
lcopyrisht. 1914, by Fred c. Kelly. All rights
reseryedD