The Washington herald., 1914-06-04
ALKALI CITY HOTEL
Ike Carney. Prop.

He smiled ecstatIcally and beat his
knuckles against the wall, an indication
| that he desired the presence of Mrs. Ike
Forthwith that parsonage burst into the
room, her rolled-up sleeves exposing red
! ish and muscular arms. On her lips
trembled a terse expression Of her opin-
ion Of lazy husbands in general and Ike
Carney in particular. But Ike inter
cepted the eruption OF scorching lava
My breakfast. please" he command
ed. Fried eggs, with bacon and coffee"
Mrs. Ike looked as II she contemplated
fainting Then. as il to demonstrate the
enigmatic nature of the feminine mind,
she proceeded in silence to execute her
husbands order. While he ate Ike con-
descended to inform her OF their good
fortune.
Mrs. Ike, looking as II her domestic
machinery had slipped a cog or two, be-
gan packing. A week later Ike was in
stalled behind a desk in the AIkali City
Hotel and his wife had transferred her
domineering talents from her husband to
the menials in the kitchen and pantry OF
Alkali City's leading hostelry.
Two weeks had elapsed. Ike had gained
ten pounds and Mrs. Ike's vocabulary had
dwindled considerably when one day the
worlds greatest circus visited ATkali City.
Ike raised his rates 10 per cent and put
extra couches in some of the rooms At
night the hotel was filled with dignitaries
Of the trapeze, clowns, and wild animal
trainers.
IF I was you, I'd collect in advance
from that bunch.' suggested Mrs Ike
with timidity newly cultivated. You
never can tell about that kind OF people"
Ike scowled wisely and told his wife to
mind her own affairs.
You can't run a frst-class hotel and
o@Tr4 l. -
got to trust 'em. There's the Fourpaws.
You can't expect topnotchers like them
to stand for bein' treated like pikers and
deadbeats"
Mrs. Ike retreated to the kitchen. The
Fourpaws, most famous animal trainers
in the world. occupied the choicest suite
in the Alkali City Hotel They tipped
lavishly and ordered things for dinner
that were not included in the menu OF the
Alkali City Hotel
But the next morning Mr.. and Mrs.
Fourpaw had departed. having forgotten
the prosaic formality of paying their bill.
Mrs. Ike scowled sourly as she reported
to her husband that they hadn't left a |
nickels worth of baggage behind. There
was an I-told-you-so air about her that
for moment disconnected the proprietor
Of Alkali City's leading hotel. But the |
next moment he had recovered his men, |
tai balance.
You've got to expect those things in I:
the hotel business" he consoled. Here's
note the Fourpaws left with the stable |
boy. Let me read it to you" And Ike |
read:
Mr.. Ike Carney, Proprietor Alkali City !
Hotel Dear Sir: We are sorry the
Worlds Greatest Wild Animal Circus
busted up. We can't pay you now, but
we are leaving you our elephant and
taking your donkey. The elephant is
worth about $500. Guess you are ahead
of the game. Mr.. and Mrs. FoURPAW."
Ike gazed triumphantly into the scenic
wonders of his wifes face. Didn't tell
you they'd settle? That elephant Is worth
at least $500"
Mrs IKE snorted dissent He'll eat
US out Of house and home-you see IL he
don't" she predicted mournfully.
And elephantine appetite threatened to
make her doleful prophesy come true.
Bales Of hay vanished like lobster before
a chorus girl Ike scratched his head.
TT they only hadn't got away with my
donkey" he unused. Tell you what we'll
do We'll take ride on the elephant
and then turn him loose on the prairie
Wen take our moneys worth out In
fun"
1t was q unique way Of collecting
board bill, but with the aid OF step
ladder Mr.. and Mrs. Ike ascended to the
crest OF the elephants anatomy. The
animal curled its trunk gieefully ana
lurched away.
Wonder how you steer him." mumbled
ike when the elephant began to evince
errat'e tendencies.
MIA Ike maintained an acid calm OF
mind: The elephant continued to show
phiicsophic disdain Of the road build
- art With unrufded serenity ~