The Harrison times., 1914-10-10
The New Fable Of tho Two Philan-
thropic Native Sons Who Brought
Homo tho Bacon.

throplc Native Sons Who Brought
Homo tho Bacon.
Once there were two Home Boys
who sailed forth from q struggling
Village In search Of an irrational Fe-
male known as Dame Fortune.
When they had covered enough
Ground to be far away from the elder
ly Relations and no one could point
out the Houses In which they were
born they began to Deliver.
1t was a sad Jolt to the Walking
Vegetables back in the Stockade when
they heard, on Good Authority, that
Ezra and Bill were slamming 1t over
the Plate and batting above 400
They simply wagged the ossihed
Domes and hoped the Boys were get
ting 1t Honestly.
Ezra and Bill, up among the intlam.
matory Posters and the nervous Elec-
trio Signs, kept on playing Tag with
the Sherman Act until they had It in
Oodles and Bundles and Bales and
Stacks.
Finally, when they became so pros.
porous that they had to wear Shoes
specially made, with Holes in the top,
they began to be troubled with Tender
Recollections Of Humble Birthplace.
They yearned to elbow out from
the Congested Traffic Of the cold and
heartless City and renew Sweet AS
Bociatlons.
They wanted to wander once moro
down the Avenues Of Rhubarb and
clasp hands with Old Friends whose
simple Hearts averaged about IA
Throbs to the Minute.
~ he regulation Dream of every
~ .sal Yeggman to so back to his
Old Town wearing q Laurel Wreath
and have the School Children throw
Moss Roses In his Pathway,
so Ezra sent on Proposition
He wanted to build Library at the
corner Of Fifth and Main, thereby ma.
king It easy for his old Nelghbors to
read tho Six Best Sellers without
plugging the Authors Game.
lie offered 10 give 10000 bucks If
the Citizens would raise 5000 moro
and maintain the Thing,
Ezra had not been In tho Habit Of
reading anything except the Tape and
he cared about as much for George
Bernard Shaw as George Bernard
Shaw cared for him,
Nevertheless, no wanted to be re.
memberod so Years hence as tho Man
who built the Library and not ae tho
Guy who dealt from the Bottom Of the
Deck, utilizing the Sleeve Device and
the Bosom Hold.Out.
BY the use OF AnaeBtheties and For.
ceps the 5000 was secured.
Then the Building was erected and
the only Criticism made was that tho
Location was poor and the dod'blasted
Concern looked like q Barn and II was
arranged wrong inside and nobody
didn't want no Library nohow,
When Ezra camo down to the Dedl-
cation to face an outraged and tax
burdoned People ho was just Rs popu'
lOr ~ TonsiltlB or Selatiea,
wll came back also,
1Io floated into Town one day and
appeared in Jimlson's General store
and called for a Good Cigar
lIo told Mr., Unison to take one
and called up tho Boys around the
stove and even those who were chew
Ing were told to put 'em IN their
Pockets and smoke em after while,
when the Word got out that Bill
was Buying over at tho Boo Hive rep.
resontatiye Cltl2ong came on tho Jump
from the Harness Shop and the Under.
taking Parlor8 and tho Ellie Bowling
Alley.
Every Man that showed got Lot.
ITO Leo with Band around II and
when Blll left on tho 3ii0 Mob fol
lowed him to the Train,
Ever after that tho Word was freely
passed around that Bill was Prince.
MORAL-ln scattering Seeds Of
Klndnoss do II by Hand and not by
Machinery