davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1914-06-05
DAD WADELL ACCEPTS A PO-
SiTl0N.

Lew Dugan (of Dugan and Dugan)-
Why, hello, everybody. All hangin'
around same as ever, Ell? Just I'm
ished the incest little tour of my life.
say, Dad Wadell you with the tall
forehead reading matter, could have
placed you down In Louisville last
week. It's still open.
Dad Wadell (who knew Booth-by
s1ght)-Let me finish this stanza of
Keats.
oracle Dugan (of Dugan and Dugan)
That's what's leavin' you where you're
at, Dad. Spendin' all your spare time
readin' those dead Snes. Why don't
you shine up to some of Phil Spacer's
stun in the Morning Screamer? All live
news about the prominent ones in the
profession. Lew, show 'em the clip
ping where it said: Oracle Dugan
Sues z. & A. Railroad for $4,000 A
Pullman Porter Threw Her Pet Pome-
ranian Poodle Out a Car Window as
the Train Was Passing Over the Della
ware. The Porter Claims the Beast
Bit Him in the Afternoon and He Act
Va Al OCll lISlcnSG. Imagine what
that publicity means to Dugan and
Dugan! Well be on the big time in a
week.
Algy-What do y mean, y lost yer
dog? Instead of the 'ound y want the
ole railroad. Fancy an animal at that
price!
Oracle Dugan-It amt the dog. Algy.
It's my feelings. Imagine seeing the
puppy I raised from weinerwurst,
you might say, snatched in his slum-
Der and hurled into the surging river
1t was turrible. 1t amt the $4,000
for the dog. All but Is Of it is for my
nervous breakdown.
Dad Wadell-Were they reviving
the plays of Booth and Barrett at
Louisville, Mr.. Dugan?
Lew Dugan-Naw. This was legiti-
mate stuff. A snake exhibit Tom
Ring is putting out a carnival show
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1914-06-05

over on the Jersey side and produce
some African features. They were
loading on the palm trees and jungle
props when l passed.
Dad Wadell--If they reproduce
Macbeth" I'll do the title part for a
suitable emolument.
Oracle Dugan-I couldn't get into
movies because they said / didn't
photo we'll on the screen Me, tall,
handsome brunette, after the style of
Nazimova, only more so! Me, who
was given $40 and dozen photos last
week for allowin' a soap company to
use my picture on the wrappers of
"Grandma's old Style Washing Pow
deri"
Algy-W'y won't Stanley ire me
any more? Il said | was the best q
ever saw at sentimental love scenes.
Madge Madigan-You we're too
timid. He said because you had your
only suit on was no reason you
shouldn't have let the hook and lad
der truck run over you when they was
making The Fire in the Fireworks
Factory" You spoiled that film.
Algy--So they'd rather spoil me
than the film, Ell? I'll starve first.
Madse Madigan--I wish you could
see the juvenile we have in Algy's
place, Oracle. Some boy. He's bring
ing his mother and sisters to the show
TO see me tomorrow. 1t looks like I'll
De marrying well-to-do. after all.
Oracle Dugan-Ain't it grand you
didn't marry Algy when he proposed
last week? 1t pays to wait realize
that more and more every day.
Lew Dugan--You know 1t paid to
wait for me, Oracle.
Oracle Dugan--But then, don't
know what | missed, either.
Dad WadeiI-What is the fare to
Louisville, Mr.. Dugan?
Booking Agent. {enteringl Say,
Dad. want to go "a Louisville?
Copyright 1914. BY w. c. Chapman. ORA
matte Nights Reserved.l
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1914-06-05
Anxious Moment.

Lucille Earnestly Karl, I want
to ask you one question.
Karl (also earnestly What is It,
sweetheart?
Lucille (more in earnest than ever
Karl If you had never met me,
would you have loved me just the
same Life.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1914-06-05
Not That Stinoy.

Hogan Dropounded Schmidt, "if
a hen unit 81 half laidt an egg unit a
half day, how long vouldt it dake
a hen to lay half an egg?"
"A him." promptly responded Pat,
"wud scorn to short change her own
er by layin' half an egg. An nobody
but tightfist wud iver think av such
thing Judge.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1914-06-05
Justice Is the Word

Aid bureau for fee of ten cents fur
nishes lawyer to assist immigrants
and poor persons in obtaining justice.
Gotham-Now, just look at that!
And | know men who have spent
thousands of dollars to get Justice
and they're still out of Jail.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1914-06-05
And Wood Wouldn't.

Marks-I hear that the Woods have
separated. What was the trouble?
Parks-It seems that Mrs. Wood
wanted him to dye his white hair to
match her new lavender wig.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1914-06-05
Force Of slabit.

THAT new hired nan or yours must
have been a hookkeeper before he
came to you"
Why sogp
II notice that every tiIle he stops
work forIa few minutes he tries to put
the pitc1fork behind his ear '-palh-
finder
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1914-06-05

Misfortune is no respecter of per-
sons-and neither is fortune, for the
matter of that.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1914-06-05

The curiosity of some enables others
to live without working.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1914-06-05

Practises WatchfuI Waiting.
How often do you cut your grass ?"
Every time my neighbor has his
laWnmoWer Sharnenedn
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
DANES AND DAUGHTERS

Mrs. Cyrus Niver acts as moving
picture censor in Philadelphia.
Doris Goraham, Denver orphan
waif of seven, by adoption has be-
come the heiress Of a wealthy New
York woman.
Miss Gertrude Beeks, who did such
yeoman work in helping to clean uI
the Panama canal zone. will receive
certain special honors from the Unit
ed States government
Mrs Winchester, councillors wife
in Worthing. England, who died on
Monday, April 20, was born on q
Monday, christened on a Monday and
married on Monday. Before she was
married her name was Munday.
Sarah Bernhardt, it is reported. is
confined to her bed. and the doctors
say that she will never be able to
walk again without the aid of cane
or crutch because one Of her knees
has become permanently affected by
disease,
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
sIREs AND SONS.

John d. Rockefeller. Sr., has an au-
tomato time safe in his Pocandco
Hills home. .
Albert Richards, a New York chem
list. badly burned in an explosion, must
wear a mask for the rest of his life.
FL. H. Alkeman of st. Louis, his Sec
ond wife being deceased, recently mar
ried the woman he divorced seven
Years ago.
The Oldest peer in the house Of lords
is the Duke of Grafton, who just re-
Gently entered his ninety fourth year.
The Earl of Courtown comes next at
rinety-one, while Lord Armistead will
be ninety this year.
Nelson O'Shaughnessy was born in
New York Feb. II. 1876. He gradu-
ated from Georgetown college in 1892
and took his A. B. degree at Oxford,
England, 1890. Studied international
law at Inner Temple, London. 1899
1901, and foreign languages in vari-
Gus countries in Europe.
Arthur Lamb, who. having success
fully passed the entrance examina-
tions, will enter Harvard university in
October, is but fourteen years old. he
is one of the most accomplished and
youngest pipe organists in the country.
Last year he served as assistant or
ganist at Old st. Paul's church, Bos-
ton. ~ .sxs
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
War Echoes.

This war will be worse than what
Sherman said war was.-Baltimore
American.
Modern military motto, Trust in
God and keep. your airship high."-
Washington Post.
All Of the powers pretend to regret
the war, but they do not regret it as
much as some Of them will after it is
over.-Louisville Courier Journal.
And Belgium was only the innocent
bystander. compelled to look on, but
suffering wounds for being where she
had 81 right to be.-Utica Observer.
The kaiser says he couldn't help it.
and the czar says he couldn't help it,
and the president of France and the
king of England say they couldn't help
it-and there you are.-Baltimore Sun.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Pinino For a COMPANION.

"A Buckinghamshire farmer once
wrote to distinguished scientific
agriculturist to whom he felt under
obligation for introducing a variety
of swine: RESPECTED Sir-l went
yesterday to the fair at A..
found several pigs of your species.
There was great variety of beasts,
and was greatly astonished at not
seeing you there"
Another farmer wishing to enter
some animals at an agricultural ex-
hibition wrote as follows to the
secretary of the society: "Dear Sir
Enter me also for a jackass.'
The director of the geological
gardens was on his holiday. He re-
ceived a note from his chief as
sistant, which closed thus: sfThe
chimpanzee seems to be pining for
companion. What shall we do un-
til you return ?"-London Tit-Bits.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Ancient Armies.

Italy little before Hannibal's time
was able to send into the field nearly
100000 men.
The army of Terah, king of Ethiopia.
consisted of 100000 men and 800
chariots of war;
Sesostris, king Of Egypt, led against
bis enemies 100000 men, $4,000 caval-
ry and twenty-seven scythe armed
chariots in 1491 B. C.
The city Of Thebes had a hundred
gates and could send out at each gate
10000 fighting men and 200 chariots-
in all. 100000 men and 1000 chariots.
Hamilcar went from Carthage and
landed near Palermo. He had q feet
of 1900 ships and 5000 small vessels
and a land force of 100000 men. at
the battle in which he was defeated
10000 were slain. :.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Fkppant filings.

The real worlds series started this
year before the end of the baseball
pennant race.-Binghamton Press.
Moreover If we were in Mr.. Car
negie's place we would sue The Hague
for obtaining money under false pre-
tenses.-Galveston News.
The National Housewives league is
going to keep sharp eye on prices
and mobilize to drive down any jump.
Even the bread will be afraid to rise.
New York Sun.
The Macon Telegraph tells story of
lightning killing Georgia mule. The
Georgia mule must have become q
mollycoddle. A Texas mule would re-
sent lightning stroke by trying to
kick lung out Of the sky.-Houston
Post.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Testing Heat of Oven.

The cook can never make a success
Of baking unless the oven is exactly
right. If it is Il little too hot or too
= cold all the cakes and pies will be spoil
cd. One can always Test the heat by
putting piece of white paper on the
oven shelf that is to be used and leav-
ing it there for two minutes. Ii the
slightly brown ut the edges then the
oven is cool. If the paper comes out q
good deal Drowned, but not burned at
all, then the oven is moderate. If the
paper comes out brown all over and
blackened at the edges the oven is hot
If the paper burns all to a cinder then
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Beaten by His Friends.

In the eighties of the last CEN
tury the late DR.. Thomas X. Beech
er of Elmira was nominated for con-
gress from his district, and the poll
ticians had about conceded that he
would be elected when his church
people found out that his prospects
were good and set out to defeat
him. One of the most singular cam
paigns in the history of American
politics resulted. All of Mr.. Beech
er's personal and church friends
worked like beavers against him and
voted solidly for his opponent, with
the result that he was defeated by
a narrow margin. The attitude of
the church people was that they
could not afford to lose their minis
ter, and they won the fight.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Town Topics.

Elizabeth is boasting of her age; it
is Elizabeth, N. J.-Philadelphia Rec.
ord.
Philadelphia has appropriated $1.40O
for the determination of mosquitoes.
Philadelphia can't be very sore at the
mosquitoes.-Detroit Free Press.
Buffalo il so quaint and peculiar a
place that there is sometimes serious
question as to whether it is a real city
or merely a state of mind.-Rochester
Post Express.
Grand Duke Michaelovitch declares
that Miss Marie Taller of New York
is the most beautiful woman in the
world. What does that old scrambled
Russian alphabet know about 1t? He
never was in Carthage in his life.-
Carthage (Mo.) Press.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Current Comment.

Well, the canal is open, anyhow
New York World
Meanwhile our own hosts go merrily
on, piling up forces for the great battle
in November.-Milwauk journal.
The dictograph is another of those
things that make up in reputation
what they lack in character.-Philadel-
phia Inquirer.
1t must be admitted that in its brief
career as a mediation. center Niagara
Falls has made as good a practical rec
ord as The Hague.-Washington Star.
II some genius can invent a noiseless
device that will take the place Of the
automatic riveter be will not only de-
serve the thanks of mankind. but he
will get them.-Indianapolis News. z
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Recent inventions.

A patent has been granted for paddle
wheels to be attached to rowboats and
operated by cranks.
A paper dishcloth which becomes
soft and pliable when wet and is dura-
BILE enough to be used several times
has been invented.
So that man can sit down to shine
his shoes there has been patented a
backing stool that can be temporarily
fastened in front Of chair.
A machine has been perfected in Sax
0ny which embroiders designs on three
dozen pairs of stockings ut once. 288
stitches being taken simultaneously.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
HEAT OF THE SUN.
Theories as to How It Is Maintained
or RepIenished.

or RepIenshed.
How the sun has been able to
keep on radiating approximately
the same amount of heat ever since
the most remote ages has been ex-
planned in three different ways.
Some have believed that his heat
was due to chemical reaction, others
that it was product of intra-
atomic energy due to radium. 9th
crs again that the work of attrac-
ton maintained the heat.
BY chemical reaction the sun
could supply the heat he is supply
ing today only for 1000 years. If
radium be the true explanation the
presence of two grams Of radium
to the ton would be necessary. This
is a quantity too large for belief,
and even this would be reduced by
onc-half at the end Of 1900 years
and could not be maintained unless
the sun we're made of nothing but
uranium, the generator OF radlum.
The attraction theory is dismiss
ed by astronomers, who say there is
no such hail of meteorites as could
by falling upon the sun maintain
its high temperature.
There is. however, another theory
advanced by lIelmholtz, who sug-
gcstcd that the sun is contracting
and the work thus going on within
his body is enough to generate co.
100000 times the heat he is radiat-
inc today. In an address to the
french Academic des Sciences A.
Vcronnct asserted this was the
only tenable theory that explained
the suns heat. And he ventured
the prediction that there was suf-
tcicnt heat left in the sun to keep
it about as j, is now and furnish
enough heat for life upon the earth
for about 100000 more years. He
said that it would take 100000
years for the average temperature
of the earth to fall to freezing
point.-St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Fashion FriIIs. >

Military fashions are to be the go in
women's garb this year. Again the
slashed skirt?-New York Sun.
It has been noticed that the news.
paper fashion editors do not always
dress that way.-New York American,
Another horror of war has been dis.
closed. 1t is said that. as result of
the disability Of Paris. Chicago is to
originate the styles of women's
clothes.-lndianapolis News.
How widespread are the effects of
war! Even women's clothing is to
reflect it. Manufacturers announce
the fall styles will all be along mill
tary lines.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Household Hints.

Cheese may be kept moist for some
time if the cut surfaces are rubbed
over with butter and then the cheese
is wrapped in parailin paper and kept
in cool, dry, dark place
Salt Goldfish or other fish is best
wrapped in paraflin paper and then put
in box with an air tight cover.
If ones black gloves become little
rusty touch up the spots with few
drops of ink mixed we'll with Il few
drops of olive oil.
Do not complain if the tea or coffee
loses its strength unless it is kept in
tightly covered tins or jars.
The cup Of tea or coffee will be in
finitely better if the teapot or coffee
pot is scalded out just before being
used.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Homemade Silver Polish.

A harmless and effective homemade
silver polish consists of half a pound
of whiting sifted into a bowl, to which
are added two ounces of spirits of tur
pentine. one ounce of spirits of wine,
half an ounce of spirits of camphor
with one tablespoonful of liquid am
monia. Mix the ingredients thorough
ly and bottle. In polishing apply lib
orally to the silver with a soft cloth
or brush and then allow it to dry, after
which rub off with soft cloth and
polish with chamois.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Stewed cueumhers.

Cooked cucumbers may be served
hot with a cream sauce or cold as a
salad. Rather ripe vegetables should
be selected, and they should be stewed
very slowly. Finely shredded chill
peppers added to the sauce improve its
appearance and take away the slight
insipidity Of the cooked cucumber with
out destroying the flavor. When serv-
ing the cooked cucumber as salad cut
it lengthwise instead Of across, as with
the raw vegetable.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
English Etchinos.

In the county Of London there are
$50 railway bridges crossing over
streets.
There are 100000 children learning
to play the violin in London and what
Londoners call the ''home counties"
In the printing Of the acts Of the
British parliament the old spelling Of
the word '.ent;tled" Is still preserved
1. e., ''intituled."
The site Of the historic battle Of
Hastings, in the year 1909. Is about
eight miles from the modern English
town Of that name.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Pert Personals.

Where In thunder is Andrew Car
hegie? ?-New York Telegram.
1t looks as though Yon Lind had, been,
appointed censor general Of Europe
Washington Post.
Like Others who have begun political
careers too vigorously. Nine. Caillau1s
has gone into Observation-Disclosures
Star.
Nine. Thebes. who has predicted q
European war every year for fifteen
years, modestly calls attention to the
fact that she prophesied. the present;
one.-C Chicago Herald.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Short Stories.

Siam produces seedless grapefruit.
Uncle Sam is penmaker for about
fifty countries.
Accidents during the Panama canal
construction have cost 1910 lives.
The personnel of the navy of the
United States is more than 68,OOO
The custom has been started in some
western cities of printing the maiden
name of a woman after that of her hus-
band in the directory.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Watch Those Teeth.

Are you watching the teeth of
your children carefully?
AS for that, are you taking the
care you should of your own?
Rheumatism in many cases is
caused by the poison from Assesses
at the decayed roots of teeth.
Mental disorders have been cured
in some instances by treatment of
diseased teeth.
Insomnia has been traced to the
same cause.
Diseases of the heart and kidneys
are traceable to neglect of the
teeth.
Get busy.-Detroit Times.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Train and Track.

Last year the Jaffa-Jerusalem rail-
way carried nearly 100000 passengers
and nearly $4,000 tons of freight.
The systematic efforts by railroad au-
thorities to cut down the accident list
by suppressing trespassing on the
tracks IS bearing fruit.
The cost of replacing with steel cars
nll the passenger cars in use on the
railroads Of the United States is esti-
mated at more than SGOOO0O.OOO.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
The Cookbook.

When boiling green pens. add .a iet<
tuce leaf and tablespoonful Of sugar.
and they will retain their color and
have a much better naEof.
To give better fiavor to canned.
fruit. likewise to stewed. add lemon
Juice in the proportion to the Juice Of.
one lemon to one pound Of fruit.
Prevent steamed pudding from be-
coming heavy BY putting cloth over
the steamer before placing the lid on.
This prevents the moisture from set-
tling and. ma king the pudding heavy
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Cucumber Salad.

A most attractive way to serve Gu
cumbers for salad course, or as the
accompaniment Of fish course. is to
pare and cut each in half, taking the
round end off so that the piece will
stand upright. Cut out the inside and
mix it with salad dressing and re-
place it in the tiny tubs. Stand each
on crisp leaf Of lettuce and chill
In their season finely chopped chives
may be added.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
The Distant Stars.

Few persons would guess that
the smallest things visible to the
eye are the stars. Yet. according
to high authority, such is the case.
Great as many of the stars are in
actual magnitude, their distance is
so immense that their angular di-
ameter becomes insensible and they
approach to the condition of geo.
metrical points. The minute disks
that they appear to have are spuri-
ous-an effect of radiation.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
The Writers.

Mrs. Ghosal, author Of a recently
published novel Of hindu life. q Z
sister OF Rabindranath Tagore.
The American woman writer most
popular In Germany apparently Il
Gertrude Atherton. Eighteen Of her
books have appeared in the Tauch-
nitz editions.
The wife, Of Oliver Onions. the Eng
lish author. is also a writer Of stories,
but she thinks one Onions 10 the
family enough and 20 writes under
the name Of Bertha Ruch.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
10 clean uphoIstered chair.,

To clean a fine upholstered chair
have the chair well beaten in the open
air to remove all dust thoroughly.
Have ready quart of warm, dry bran
and cover the chair thickly with it.
Then rub the bran all over the surface
with piece Of dry white flannel, con-
stantly replacing the used bran with
clean. Brush we'll and your chair will
be clean as when new.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
To Remove MiIdew.

Should the clothes be mildewed the
stains may be removed by mixture
containing equal parts of soft soap and
starch, half as much common salt and,
the juice of half a lemon. This may
be spread over the spots, and the arti-
Gle should be laid on the grass all day
and all night until the stain entirely
disappears.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
Her Triumph.

Penelope (triumphantly)-l heard
last night that Jack was head over
ears in love with me.
Grace (jealously)-You cannot
believe all you hear.
Penelope-No. but I should not
wonder if there was something in It.
Grace-Why? Who told you?
Penelope-He did.-Exchange
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
!! crs..e Spots on Clothing.

e Grease 9pot0 on Clothing.
The following is q good recipe for
cleaning black woolen clothing: Dis
solve. borax in water and saturate a
sponge or cloth in the solution. Wash
the greasy spots by rubbing vigorously,
then rinse in clear water the same way
and dry in the sun. This is especially
GOOD for cleaning mems coat collars.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
| HELPFUL HINTS
FOR HOUSEWIVES
Wire Basket Prevents Boiled
Fish From Breaking.

To prevent fish breaking after being
nOiled new device has been offered
In the form of n wire fish basket which
eliminates the trouble and preserves
the shape of the fish. The fish is placed
in this, and when the cooking is com
pleted the basket is removed and the
fish allowed to drop through the bot
tom on to a platter.
The Washburn leader., 1914-09-11
a cood Stow Shine.

q. When polishing your stove. II you
wish to save labor and also to have
{ your stove shine better than 1T ever has
before, mix soap or any kind Of soap
powder with the stove polish.