Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1914-05-14

& man proposes ana woman Iofecloses. @
The drama Of life IS nearly an tragedy
It's a poor doctor who cannot cure 4 ham.
An elephant can't act like a kitten, but an ~189-pound
woman often tries.
A bright remark IS that which You wish YOU instead
of your friend had said.
Prosperity is often blamed for making d fool Of q man,
when it really is a lack Of brains.
To be platonically successful platonic love between the
sexes should not begin before both parties are eighty.
** Z
Methuselah lived 900 years,
Some think that going strong;
The times were dull, then, it appears,
1t may have seemed that long.
-Pittsburg Post.
But if he really did survive
Nine hundred years from birth,
He must have been a pin-head, OF
He would have owned the earth.
Saturday News.
IS trust is a small body Of capital entirely surrounded
by water.
Any old duffer can have rheumatism; govt is q luxury
Did you ever notice, any fool motion you make always
gets a second?
Firmness is that admirable quality in ourselves that is
detestible stubbornness in others.
Women declare that they honor a good man, but watch
them go after the speckled ones.
Eggs, watermelons, and a woman's voice over the tele-
phone will TOOL any man, at tunes.
ssThough Washington never could tell a lie,
He was still a quite prosperous chap;
But he'd starve, 50 they say, were he living today,
With such q bg haa 2
There would be neither fruit nor flowers if all prayers
were answered concerning the weather.
Life may be zone grand sweet song to a few but the
most Of US dub along with the Jewsharp.
Man is a natural hunter-whether after 4 rabbit Or a
woman, the most attractive one is the one hardest to get.
When. I learn that q man and wife never quarrel, i
know that indifference. has set IN, and after that-the del
f you want to know how much 9 man thinks Of him
self get hin to run for office and write his own advertise
ments.
Plumber: ssWhere's de bust pipeg,
Woman: 1.-THE bursted pipe is IN the cellar
Plumber: ssOh, bursted, Ell? Well, bursted will make
de job q little longer dan busta'
THE PAST is PAST.
The Committee on the Revision Of the Articles Of Faith
had recommended the adoption OF a declaration to the eff
feet that all infants are saved The recommendation was
adopted unanimously.
Nov, MI. Moderator, & said Al delegate from Pitts
burg, Pa, with preternatural solemnity,, move that this
be declared retroaetiye.,,
But the moderator did not seem. to hear m.-Christ
ian Register.
PATIENT
a little Boston girl, who had frequently been admon-
ishedS by her parents as to the evil results from hurried
Tnasticationao of food, was, on a recent visit to New York,
taken BY an uncle to the zoo III the Bronx
Among the beasts that particularly claimed her atten-
ton were the caInels. She watched them long and earnest
ly as they cheWed huge punches Of grass and then turned
to her uncle.
Uncle, said she, what a treat it would be for faith
er and mother and Prof. Fletcher tossee those canels chew
ing all day
STRONG COMPETITIONS.
In Colorado, remember, the women vote as well as the
men.
IN the fall Of 1910 a man named Smith was running FOR
sheriff against a man named Jones. One evening lust Be-