The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1914-06-11
THINKS METER NEEDS FIXING
Superintendent Of the Company Gets a
Good Laugh and Orders Delinquent
to Pay Up or Have His Water Shut
of-Many Shut Off Notices Issued.

Men who work in the Offices Of the
Kenosha. Water Company had a real
smile today over a letter received from
one Of the delinquent patrons Of the
company. He evidently labored hard
and long in an effort to talk the COM
pany into reducing a bill of $l746 for
the last rental period, but failed to
make it stick and regardless of his
letter his name was included in long
list of shut off notices issued this
morning The letter is a real gem
along the lines Of evasion of payment
Of water rentals. 1t follows:
Kenosha, Wis, June 4, 1914
Water Works supt., City.
My Dear Sir:-I have before me
your bill for water for the quarter just
passed, $500. Before / enter into the
merits Of the case / want to go back
way back.
There was time when I was lad
that | remember reading some poetry.
1t sounded perfectly good to me then,
about things being free;
{" AS free as the air we breathe,
AS free as the water we drink"
If I remember correctly, that is the
way it read. Poor old poet! He must
nave been nutty or else there was
something wrong with his metre, and
1t that, his metre was novice com
pared to the meter you installed in my
Ihebang. I presume the poet was sin
lere 1t must have been about the
iame time that liver, and dog meat,
Ind religion and salvation and few
'ther things were free. You used to
let a big chunk of liver and a couple
pounds of dog meat for nothing
you fed the liver to the cat, and the
tired girl-if she was the genuine i'm
lorted kind, just over-got the dog
heat. In those times water was free
here WASH t whole lot of it used
ither Lots Of people had to be
Drced to use it, and the man who took
bath oftener than once a week was
razy. Whole families could take a
ath in two bucketsfull of water and
n old wooden washtub, especially if
ae weather was cold and the well was
ut near the barn, Now, with the
high civilization in our midst. we
Sc less cologne and musk and more
rater, We gods, yes, from the looks
that BILL helfalot more water.
ris we'll established fact that
cleanliness is next to goodness, = and
my best friends woG Z lie fat
aough to proclaim me a really good
ged-in-the-wool Christian, l adhere
rictIy to the former. And its expen-
We too much So The poet was
rong; air may be free, tho | am
Id they are squeezing the water out
it and canning the air; but water,
X. 1t was ill some wise guy mar
ed the creek to the dam and bred
INNS innumerable--an and there are a
Nv Of them in my system now. Liver
sts money, ditto dog meat likewise
ligion, and | am told they are book
g the price of salvation
Billy Sunday said it costs $659o0
save one soul some place in Indiana
Timbuctoo or some other seaport.
II, the only free thing left, and some
operation win dole that out to use
meter in the near future And that
minds me, YOU or the predecessor
Id me once that I was a damphool
% 40 M
mum less 5 per cent l was double
stjlled chump for not putting in a
ster I agreed with him, j vas
nm, At the present ratio / will have
id the bonded indebtedness of the
lole dam plant in a few wears.
eat system-this meter business
e, And come to think of it, / paid
to twelve dollars for this sound
q ablebodied meter. Chump9 No.
Just plain goat. / m it. Is your
ter reader any relation to the lad
70 had trouble with his eyes; when
or he read he saw double; interfered
tn his holding job, until the water
mpany heard of him and engaged
II " t6du HelelSg Ut is he the
ginal2 And what's he got it in
me for9 Does he owe me some
ne, money or a grudge, or somepin
thatR he grinned an unholy grin
en- he informed one of my neigh
g that I'd have a terrible bin to
z, but that / was good follow and
nld pay it without a kick. Took me
the original come-on, the one and
" Z. z Mark, / spose. Mark Twain,
shy, or some other village cut-up
sss a good fellow as damphool
oil stand without hitching while
'ple do things to him.
I've been done many time, but
undone now. When benevolent
poration hits me in the solar plexus
n bill for $500 for that greatest
al Gods gifts, water, and water
is been filtered and disinfected