The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1914-06-26
Some
Breaches Of ProrniiI
IL b M. QUAD
BM QUAD
Copyright. 1911, BY Associated /
erary Press. 1

baby ever born in the state OF OLE
i, When Hiram was ten years Of
was the homeliest boy many
states in this Union. At twen#
he had the face Of q baboon.
OneSday, after, looking at him q 10
time; his father said to him:
Hiram, what in thunder il going. to,
become Of you anyhow"
''I'm thinking it over" was the reply.
After thinking things over for awhile
and having a very serious talk with .
fruit tree agent Hiram announced one
Monday morning that he had mapped
out a career for himself. and half an
hour later he drove away from the
farm with hired horse and. buggy.
Within a radius Of ten. miles were
twenty-three widows. Fifteen had
been made such on one and the same
day by the falling Of a highway bridge.
Not n of the women was poor, while
some had bank accounts. All had
seen Hiram Spooner several times
over Hiram had prepared a list, and
he began his calls according to card
system. AS he drove up to a house he
wriggled out Of his buggy and wrig-
gled along to the door. and when it
was opened to him and he was Invited
in he began:
Widow Blank, l am trying to do
something to make a living. Did. you
know that you can grow, two crops OF
the Oklahoma cucumber?" :
mo. I never heard Of It,"
II sent and got some of the seeds.
Here they are. I shall charge you but
little more than for the. ordinary seeds,
and you a have two crops in place
of one" @
"well, l will buy them to help you
along.".
THAT is kind Of you. 1 need money.
but there are times when l fairly long
for a word of sympathy"
II know you must, and for years I
have wanted to tell you how very, very
sorry l was and am. There is no one
in the world I pity as LIDO you. IL
you have anything else to sell bring it
here" IA. f.s
Hiram had tears in. his eyes as he
left the house. but before climbing
into his buggy he took ont his mem
orandum book and made some entries
under the proper date.
1t took over thirty days for him to
get around to the last widow, but he
finished his business In good shape.
Half q dozen times his father had de-
handed:
"see here. boy, what kind Of a game
are you up to with the widowsf'
I'm picking out the best Of the lot
to propose to-" was always the reply.
Soon as the last widow had bought
some Oklahoma cucumber seeds to help
Hiram Spooner along with his laudable
ambitions and to raise q, double crop
Of cucumber pickles the drst one call
ed on received a note from, Hiram.
1t stated that his heart had been deep
" touched by her kind words. and, be-
ing sure In his own mind that It was
a case Of love at first sight with both
Of them. he had decided to accept her
generous offer and hoped that It would
be no sacrifice, on her part. At what
date should the wedding take place?
Was the betrothal to be announced
at once or later on7 What minister
did she prefer? How many and what
guests should be invited?
The widow read the note over the
first time with wonder. The second
time she was amazed. and the third
she gasped out.
Why. what can the crazy donkey
meant" -.., !,
The widow. sat. down ma wrote q J.
note repudiating everything. even to
the Oklahoma cucumber seeds. These
seeds had been fed to the chickens just
before the note was written. IL
Hiram came back wttA.a wpltAt.ess
statement that she had 4deceiyed him
and crushed his yop1f< ana crinnIad
heart. She had leg him to believe that
sne owe 9lmy Ind in return he had
giyen e all his affections TO be
tnroYna down now would. be a blow
ne could never get over. No mon.
,'ey could ever heal. his feelings. but she
must requite him to an extent as a
G l1t7 ieaoO0 70 Qer not 70 TOOL with
the hearts Of the male sex.
The negotiations consumed two
weeks. and the widow paid over to
Hiram $500 rather than 60 into court.
His little game was worked on every
single one of the widows. From. some
he got as much al $500 and from 9th
era only q single hundred.
Not until the very last did Hiram,s
father understand what he had been
up to. and then he Indignantly xx-
claimed:
Il orter to turn you outdoors 81
the law on y6u." i4s 81 sis5
"But you won't Il has lepSspain@
mo 70 90 you working ikaS sonsth
stony old farm and not couinE1edEl@
. year ahsad Of the game. !,
And I've had . useless sons to sup
poft!' trowied Athe fatflef. z
'But useless no longer. sharsby o.
fer y0n l1,.600s el0r TIE old farin, and
you@can q. my hired man Sk4oo
lSolth ara board FOR thS nsxt -
yealE1ly'' Il 49, T. 81 a Z 1
But even ~ holnsldsst ~ IN ~