The Washington herald., 1914-09-27

My Dear Mr.. President: Your letter
asking me to forward to the Secretary
of War a list of the men of Jericho who
are willing to die for their country at Sl3
per month and board and lodgings, is
at hand
The inclosed list includes every man
in the town, even to the old man Barnes,
who Is ninety-seven years old and gets
about on CrutcheE.
More than fOO women begged me to in
clude their names.
The day our navy took Vera Cruz
more than one hundred of our people
were CraZed with enthusiasm. and had
to have pals of cold water thrown over
them.
The star-spangIed banner hoated in the
breeze and the American eagle screamed
like a wheelbarrow needing grease.
More than fifty speeches were made.
and every one was brimming with love
Banners were carried through the
streets on which were emblazoned
Sic 'em on"
Let loose the dogs
On to Mexico CITY,
See that our graves are kept dry"
Death to the iceman,''
Lick the Greasers instead OF your
wives
Mr. President. We are ready. We have
always been ready. That the Secretary
hot patriots we are l wish to relate a
little incident that occurred a few nights
since,
Twas gittin' the mail ready to put into
the TarrytoWn bag when Bill Lapham
comes in. Bill runs goose farm just
out of Jericho, and has bin gittin' up
in the world like a Eastwood tree. I've
known fur the last year that he wanted
to do sunthin' smart to git hisself talk
ed about, and when / seen him come in
with his chin in the air | s'pected he'd
hit il.
Look here. Pap he whispers, though
we was all alone I've struck the big
gest. broadest. tallest. heftiest idea ever
thought out by mortal man, and I'm
I'll be hanged If my head don't swim
and nv knees wabble over it,
rs it how to grow geese feathers on
hens" says ! KNOWN he'd bin expert
mentin' in that direction.
I'D tell YOU. Pap. quickerin' any other
man in the United States. but l want to
keep II to hit the crowd with tonight l
want the biggest. bustinest crowd to-
Jericho has ever seen. Give every man
notice as he drops in today and along
about ! O'Clock I'll hev the firebells rung
and the horns footed. Tell en- it's a
big thing. Pap. tell 'em its sunthin' that $
bound to jump this town over a ten
rail fence and make city lots wuth a
thousand dollars apiece"
There was good deal Of excitement
around town that afternoon. and when
night came the crowd at the postofice
was as big as the time when war was
Bill Lapham was goin' to declar' war
ag'in Canada. and everybody was lOokin'
pale when Deacon SpOoner called the
meetin to order and said:
Sons of freedom. We hev gathered
here tonight to hear some remarks from
our esteemed feller tOwnsman. William
Lapham. and We kin take il that them
| remarks will go beyond geese and gos-
Inns; Make YOUR pint. Bill
My pint is this" saws Bill as he
draws a long breath and steps out 10
git room. We ar now in the midst Of
turmoil Somebody is goin' TO be lick
ed. I amt sayin' who it'll he. but the
golden opportunity fur which Jericho has
sighed is at hand. When the Victor
comes home he will he escorted to and
That's k'rect." SAYS Deacon Spooner
as Bill pauses fur breath. THE speaker
amt through yIt. but he's made a pint
already When he refers to the turmoil
OF campaign. it's not only nighnown
language. but strong pint. Go ahead
That escort will not only do the Vic
tor proud" continued Rill. but every
man in ii will BE- mentioned by all the
papers in the United States. They'll
speak OF his wife and children and town
and home and he'll be a big man fur the
rest OF his life. He kin be elected sheriff
without the opposition. hut II any one
runs ag in him fur the Legislature they'll
he showed under. What I'm here to-
night fur is TO ask the questions: Why
not organize the Jericho Guards? And
why shouldn't the Jericho Guards be
that escort?''
There was yellin' and whoopin' fur
the next five minits. but when the Dea-
con could himself be heard he said:
Its pint. gentlemen-siX or seven
pints. I've heard all the speeches ever
delivered py Henry Clay or Daniel Web
ster and both of EN- put together never
made the p'ints our Bill Lapham has
Bein' l hev the floor. I'll say l favor
the idea. Yes. sir. I'm with it heart and
soul l want my name to go down fust
fur the Jericho Guards. and I'm even
willin' to sacrifice myself and be cap
tain Of the company. S'posin' we hear
from Abner Jones on the subject"
Il spose it's known in this town that
my great grandfather was killed at the
battle of Monmouth" says Abner, as he