davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-23

4 desire to avoid work is often
manifested in a determined search
for a government Job.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-23
Just Smiles
AHl ThE BRIDEGROOM.

Mr.. McVerne, an attractive and
handsome man, belongs to n of the
Oldest families III the city, being the
second son Of MIR. and Mrs Bartram
McVerne, Of Millville Place. He is a
graduate Of Mt. Pleasant academy, a
member Of tho leading clubs and a
general ravorite. AS q groom Mr.. Nc
Verne never looked better than In
his wedding garb, which consisted Of a
black suit, beautifully cut in the latest
style, with tie and shoes to match. On
his bosom glistened his only ornament,
a n exquisite heart-shaped pin set with
diamonds and opals, a gift Of the bride.
The ceremony took place in the living
room under a rose bower, to which
place the groom proceeded, supporting
his mother, and followed by the ush.
crs. There he was met by the bride
and her attendants. The ushers In
their attractive attire gave an added
charm to the scene. MI. VIM. Stalman,
a brother Of the bride, wore a brown
suit with accessories to match. Mr..
Luther Starr wore gray with a ciel
blue tie. Mr.. Cecil Venting wore dark
blue with cream hose and tie and Mr..
Holland Grosner wore light tan with
green accessories.-New Castle (Pa.)
News.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-23
a GOOD START,

HE offers me aplatonic affection"
"Vell, take 1t. A platonic affection
often leads to the real thing. '-Pitts-
turgh Post.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-23
CIVIL SERVICE EXAMINATION.

CIVIL SERVICE IiON'
o.-Where did the ~prodigal son live
riotously?
A.-Probably in Mexico City.
Q.-What two magazines have the
most extensive field?
A.-"outdoors" and THE Wide
World"
Q.-What is the wickedest town in
the United States?
A.-Sodom, Ohio.
Q.-What is meant by throwing
money to the birds?"
Am amateur trying to raise poul
try for profit.
o.-Name two prominent capitals in
this country.
At. r.
o.-What is the favorite game now
being played by the crowned heads o
Europe?
-Connellsville News.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1914-12-23

SPEAKING OF LONG SERMONS.
Rev. Bill Yokum will preach at this
place from Friday until Sunday and
perhaps longer.-Hazel Green (ky.l
Herald.
The Washington herald., 1914-09-06
BOWSER'S MUSICAL EAR
1t Discovers Discord and He Tunes the Piano Immediately

hiEh-pitch, but he wasn't the man to hes
itate. He began humming the air OF
THE Girl l left Behind Me- and keeping
up the tum-tum on the keys. After awhile
he found a sound to agree with his hum
and he took that for a rallytng point IL
was what he called a $3.50 pitch, and
after half an hour OF keyinG up and
keying down he got three keys which
appeared to agree that some sort OF a
girl had been left behind somebody. The
other strings were obstinate. They want
ed to play sally Waters The Sweet
By-and-By," or Yankee Doodle" and
every FIVE minutes Mrs. BOwser kept
calling down to know II a strange cat
had got into the mouse, or u NJ Bowser
had got an attack OF collie.
He finally refused to answer, but with
his teeth shut hard and a glare in his
eyes he started out to bring those strings
into harmony or lust tine box. He tight
ened ten. one after another. until they
set up a humming. and then he mopped
his brow and started in to tUm-tum the
keys There were ten sounds to bring
out the goosefiesh, but scarcely had the
first shuddPr passed over Mr.. Bowser
when the wires began to snap. The end
Of the first one tickled his ear the sec
ond one CurIed his hair, and the third
just brushed his chin. He was moving
away when four went at once and one
OF them had business with his nose. Mrs.
Bowser heard yell and q sit down. and
she cam" flying down stairs to find Mr..
BOwscr sitting against the wall with his
nose in his hand. II was bleeding like
a cider barrel with the bung out. and the
skin had been peeled from end to base.
His eyes were also weeping large tears
and his bald head had a welt across it,
We'll, you've tuned the piano" said
Mrs. Bowscr as she looked down upon
him.
"Who-who threw a cat in my face"
he asked as he realized her presence.
It's a wonder YOU didn't say 7 did"
she answ cred. And then go and threaten
a divorce and all that. II was one Of
he wires that struck YOU. and yOu'n
want Court-plaster on that nose for a
MONTH
'Wo-man-Wo--" b" began, out she
stopped him with a gesture and said:
1t will cost s. To So To- have that
The Washington herald., 1914-09-06

had no more time to spare. We, there
fore. begged him to excuse US and went
our way and saw him no more. Later in
the day he left town, but before going
ne got the kinks out OF his tongue and
explained to several citizens that his
name was Barney. and that he had come
30 miles on horseback to shoot us. He
was gricved and hurt that we didn't give
MIN two hours to explain his mission
and have pop at US. but we don't feel
ourselves TO blame II we suffered a.
bad as Mr.. Barney does we should
s-s-shoOt our m-a-man first and make
our explanations I-l-later on. II he'll
call again we'll do business with him
For some time past a clique of citi-
zens, headed by Joe Tyler, have been
agitatinE the idea Of changing the nam.
OF this town from Giveadam Gulch TO
Rose Hill The clique went so far as 10
call a public meeting for Wednesday
evening. which was largely attended.
Taylor and others made strong speeches
IN favor Of change. claiming that the
name OF the town kept people away, ana
that to continue TO call it Giveadam
Gulch was against policy prosperity,
and civilization. The editor Of the
Kicker (who is ourselD, and the mayor
twhO Is Ourself were called upon TO
speak in opposition. We gave a history
Of the town from the day old Bill VIII
Jams didn't give a damn for the Indians
surrounding him in this gulch. and thu.
The Washington herald., 1914-09-06

raps means that I hev scared away. and
she'll be over in ten minits to take charge.
Then you kin go right to bed and go to
sleep, same as usual The funeral will
take place the day after. Mrs Green
will lend you fourteen chairs. and Mrs.
Taylor will pick out the hymns to be
sung. Mrs. Jordan will milk our COW and
strain the milk, and Mrs. johnson will
come over and git your meals. Are YOU
hstenin' to me. Samuel"
II he was, there were no signs Of il
He had got through with the moon and
passed on to the medical testimonials.
and he seemed to be reading with bated
breath.
An youn hev to do" she continued
after sob or two. is to move about
kinder sorrerful-like and shed a few
tears I've had thirty-two fits OF sickness
since We was married and sometimes
YOU We had 10 hire the washin' done fur
me, but. after all. you'll be kinder sorry
when I'm gone. Your remember how l
made one tea kettle last fourteen years,
and how / allus made the tea and sugar
last longer than any other woman in
town. l shan't ask you to break down
and weep. Samuel, but IL l was YOU I'd
shed tears. I not only deserve EN-. but
all the folks will be watchin' you to see
If you are affected. You've got six hand
kerchiefs almost as good as new and you
won't run short even if you shed tears
from both ewes Don't YOU think I'm
right. Samuel?'
She wiped her tears and held back her
sobs and waited for a reply, but none
came. Mr.. Dolby was reading how the
life of man who had fallen on a pitch
fork had been saved by Persian stomach
oitters, and his ears We're closed
AS TO buryin' me in the back yard, of
course you kin do as you think best. IN
one way, it will save you IS, and in the
other it'll take up ground fur cabbages.
louH marry ag'in, of course Mebbe
she II object to my grave. If / was YOUR
second wife, l wouldn't object to your
flrst Wite's grave, but I'm different from
most women. You'd better think the
thlng over purity seriously. And there's
another thing, Samuel. A long time ago
l told you that if you ever got married
aS IN I'd haunt you. l was mad. and
said more'n / ought to OF course, I
could come back as a ghost and roost
on the foOtbOard of the bed and keen
you awake nights, and / could hide down
Cellar and skeer you most to death when
you come down after cider. but I'm NOT
that kind of a woman. Right here and
now l want to tell you that I'll never
haunt you nor your second wife, Don't
you think I'm purity good, Samuel?"
Mr. Dolby had finished the pitcbfork
testimonials and struck one where a man
had been blown up with a stump and he
was so interested that he didn't hear her
question. She wept for three or four
minutes and then said:
No. don't go TO any unnecessary ex-
The Washington herald., 1914-09-06
P. D. @. INTERVIEWS
A Quiet Talk With a Tried and True Patriot

Representative Wingo. of Arkansas,
differs from most members of Congress
in the fact that he doesn't reply to your
card with a message Of
I'm in a ell of a hurry today-Call
neat vear'''
In goes the card, and out comes the
word
The honorable will see you sir
You have thought OF Arkansas, bowie
knives, duels in the dark, horse thieves.
bogus money. and all that. and you enter
MIR. WIngO's presence with A chill chas-
ing a flush up and down your spine.
single glance assures you that you
haze needlessly been alarmed, and that
you are in no more danger than you
would be if in the prize ring with Jack
johnson.
Mild of eye and gentle of voice. with
not even Iair Of brass knuckies on the
desk. you realize that unless you begin
10 abuse his State or find fault with the
way he combs his hair your interview
will be safe and pleasant.
'WeII2' was quietly queried
Let US begin n the beginning" replied
the interviewer. How do you pronounce
the name of your State
We differ widely about that at home.
10 say nothing OF outsiders. I pronounce
il 'Ark-kan-sas.' You don't want to bear
down on The last syllable as if speaking
Of apple >aSS.
Put there are other Ways
The Washington herald., 1914-09-06

to bankrupt the house 1t was after
the balance sheets had proved to him
that he was spending more than the prof
its of the house and was a debtor IN an
enormous amount that he set about pre-
pairing grand coup. The Spanish mer-
chantman was loaded with a consignment
Of gold, silver, copper. furs, and dvc-
stufrs for Spain and the cargo insured
to the last cent Alvarez took into his
confidence a young man named Prado.
and when the Santa Maria sailed his
confederate went with her as supercargo
The ship was manned by a crew of four
teen men, all Spaniards. Thirty days
after her sailing to the southward the
american bark 'HOmeward' left the Dor;
or valparaiso hOmeward bound. We had
been out three days when we ran into
a dead calm, with the weather so terribly
not mat the deck planks swelIed in the
sun. AS We lay heaving on the ground
swell small boat drifted into view II
IL seemed TO be empty, and il had been
in sight for two hours and was NOT over
nail a mile away when the captain de-
clded TO pick IL up. A boat was seDt 0ff
and when she returned with the stranger
we had a sad Spectacle under our ewes
Ihere was a dead man lying at full
length under the thWarts He had NOT
perished for lack Of fooc or water. as
the boat was well supplied. 1t was sick
ness of some sort that had brought his
end. and the hot sun had baked and
shriveled his body until the sight was
not one to look at twice. As there was
no evidence that a second person had
occupied the boat, We inclined to the be-
lief that a mutinous crew had sent their
captain adrift. There were some who
thought he might have been blown off
the coast. and yet m that case 1t did not
seem as if the craft would have been
stocked with food and water as she was.
We gave the corpse burial and hoisted
The Washington herald., 1914-09-06

Yes"
And that some of your ancestors fell
at Lexington"
only fve of them. sir The other
seven fell at Bunker Hill a little later"
You are aware, Mr.. Wingo, that your
speech has been criticised by the press. d"
What in blazes can they have said?"
That it was hot air"
The scoundrels,"
That it was all buncombe."
The liars
That il was your windy day
They must take that back. Here. sir,
is my speech just as l made it. 1 will
read it, and then you tell me where the
hot air is. Listen:
We may be able to patch up peace
now. but the history of Mexico shows
turbulent people.
The history of Mexico for 100 years
has been one of strife, revolution, an
archy. and despotism. / do not want
war; l hope il can be averted. but / am
not cherishing illusions that We may
have permanent peace in Mexico until
We go in there and take possession of
that country. Whether it be wise.
whether it be proper. whether it be good
for the ultimate welfare of this republic
is not the question. But l think l know
the temper of the American people. l
think l have read correctly the history
of this country. and whether you do II
this year or next year, think those
hearing me will live TO sit in a Congress
that will see the United States border
pushed to the Panama Canal.
Il am expressing my fears, and not my
wishes. I think every one has the same
fear that l have. I dread war The ter
rife toll OF life and property is some
thing that aPpalls anybody when he con-
templates war. and no one would do
anything to bring on a war. I pray for
peace. but ] expect ultimately We will
have war. I expect we will have to so
into Mexico.
is that hot air. sir-is it bumcombe"'
shouted Mr. Wingo as he finished read
ing
Il, is not" replied tn" P. u. @ Man.
1t is the purest patriotism. The foren-
sic rloqUenCc OF Patrick Henry bubbles
mp through every square foot OF it. Let
me ask YOU a few questions not touched
upon in your speech. Are you willing to
die Tor Your country"
Il will die beside Mr.. Bryan. il neccs-
sarv.''
You are the owner of hundreds Of
razor-hack hogs Will you contribute
'.o"h rounds Of bacon TO The army.
Yes. if Senator Lodge will contribute
600" apple pies"
What will We do with Mexico if we
conquer her."
she will be handed over to Tammany
to run"
will this government oblige every
Mexican to learn to speak English"
Yes To the extent Of being able to say:
You can 20 right to
will there he graft in the conquered
territory"
Ask the New York legislature
VIII all bull-h=hts be stoppcd?.'
There will he nothing more lively than
DO Won figure that there Will be places
for thousands of our young men,
IF they vote the right ticket At the
next election"
viii the Mexican ever be taught to
wear a derby hat
Mr. NnGU bent over and whispered:
"Sh' Don't give it away, Not only that.
but in time he'll come to know laun-
dry from = cider mill We shall even
teach him TO eat his oysters raw and look
with fondness upon the Taper collar and
the hIEh-water trousers
THE p. >. Q. MAN.
The Washington herald., 1914-09-06
THE SANTA MARIA DERELICT

OF ali the devilish. cold-blooded things
done by men you will have read OF few
to equal what took place aboard on II
the SPANISH merchantmen, the Santa
Maria, in the year 1862. It was published
in the papers at the time, but only a
partial account, and as we had war ard
excitement at home the incident was go IN
forgotten.
One of the Oldest business houses in
Mexico up to the date above named was
that If the Spanish house of Galera &
Co, founded seventy-five years previous
ly. TIE business of the house was bank
ing. mining. merchandising and cattle
raising. 1t had a dozen branches il
Mexico, and it had dealings with half a
dJZen countries. In a financial sense il
was stronger than the government, and
its yearly profits footed up an enormous
sum. son of the founder has succ seded
To the management, and when old age
came he turned over the active work TO
Il cousin named Alvarez The new mana
ger was a young man of twenty-five, borT.
in Spain OF a fine family. and had been
educated for the priesthood. He was d
man without a vice. Such was his prniIity
that he was called Holy Alvarez" even
in his youth. At an enormous salary. and
with autocratic powers, young Alvarez
took over the management of affairs in
Mexico, and almost as soon as he stepped
f"ot on North American soil a change
took place in his character. He began tn
drink, gamble and play fast and loose
OF course, there was gossip about the
new manager. and there were those who
predicted that his eXtravagances would
ultimately bring ruin to the old house,
but there were no official complaints. He
knew little or nothing Of business. but
he did know how to spend money roy
ally, and in a year he had people guess
Ing how much longer 1t would take him
The Washington herald., 1914-09-06

For the lands sake. but what are
you doing now?' called Mrs BOwser
after three or four minutes
Saving a piano from wreck and ruin
replied Mr.. BOwser, as two chills tried
to gallOp up and down his spine at the
same time.
He hadn't quite hit it. He grudgingIy
admitted the fact to himself. and then
began anew. In a dim, uncertain way he
seemed to remember something about
pitch" connection with tuning He
couldn't possibly recall whether it was
The Washington herald., 1914-09-06

the sup"rCargO save US the key to UNLOCK
the whole mystery. He had left behind
hlm q letter Of instruction signed bv Al
varcE at tho City OF Mexico. and in that
We learned that the name Of the dead
man was Prado. That letter. written in
Spanish. was Of no aid 10 Us except as
far as the two names went. but later on.
when translated into English. its content,
were Of a nature to make a man turn
pale. The instructions were to do lust
what had been done. After the Sant4
Maria had reached p certain position he
was to poison the crew with a certain
drug prepared and then scuttIc the sh.rl
and take his leave in a small boat. II
was doubtless figured that if not picked
up he could easily reach the coast of
Chile. hut. have told you. We found hin,
dead IN his boat. How his death came
about l cannot say. as he had food and
water and had not encountered anv bad
weather
With tn" auGer hole plugged and 4
Dart Of our crew on board. the Santa
Maria. We laid our course for the Porr
OF EaIdivIa. and in due time both craft
arrived there in good shape. The dead
had bene given burial of course. but
there was no LAX Of other proofs. As
soon as the riot was Unravelled steps
were taken for the arrest OF Alvarez in
Mexico. and our claim for salvage was
filed. Governments move slowly in in
ternaitunal matters. II was months be-
fore they got ready to arrest the man
who had dotted this sea tragedy. He
had meanwhile continued his career OF
dissipation and eXtravagance, depending
upon his insurance money to make
e. crything good. News got TO hin,
somehow from ValdiVia of the dereIiCt
being lowed in. and he left Mexico and
hid away in Bolivia. There he was at
last found. but he cheated the hangra1
by committing suicide. Years later tn,
crew Of the "HomeW ard" got a few dol
lars apiece as salvage money The ship
itself was lost at sea with a fun crew.
You NAV ask why Prado did not make
a thorough job OF scuttling the Santa
Maria while he was at it. He must have
been alone at the time. except for the
dead around him. and he had a sharu
&uger to work with. Had he bored hall
- dozen holes instead of one the sbir
" ouId have gone down before being over
hauled. and in that case we would have
made nothing over finding his corpse in
the boat fhe fact would have been
entered on the log and reported, but
VI Ould have caused no comment outside
Of marine circles. PTado was probably
in a great hurry 10 get away from the
death ship. and in his haste he bored
only the one hole and then fled in some
thing of a panic. Had he carried his
letter away with him it would have
taken us longer to unravel the mystery.
though the cheat in the cargo must have
sooner or later ben discovred. As a
Pot hatchd against an equal and as a
tragedy Of the sea. one must believe
that Prado was little short of a devil
incornate to coolly sweep aside the four
teen human beings who stood in his path.
The Washington herald., 1914-09-06

the boat aboard. and two days later the
puzzle was solved. We had caught =
breeze and made A run OF hundred
miles when We sighted derehct. same
was a square-riGEed ship with all san
taken off her. and was driving away
broadside to wind-the' S.a 1t was plain
that she had sprung leak. but she
was by no means watCrioCEed- We ran
down and hailed her and. getting no
answer. the mate was sent 20 board her
l as one OF the crew Of his boat. and
the sight we saw as W" climbed over
the rail was one never L" b" tOr-otteh-
Five men lay dead on tn" docks. and tns
corpses We're in a far worse state thah
th.. one in the boat Y0u could tell at
A glance that the dead men Ny" span
iards. and vet their ha~ds and faces
were as black as your shoes. and the
bodies had shrunken and shriveIed untiI
they were OF the SIZE and weight OF
boy.
In the forecastle and cabin Ne found
others-enough to make up crew or
fourteen There were fourteen dead
men and not a living thing aboard Of the
Santa Maria. On the cabin table there
were the remains of breakfast and in the
forecastle were the Kids with food still
in them. Whatever had occurred was in
conjunction with the morning meal. As
tneTe was no ltNtI Slllt4l dbttl u ZIG
dereIict our captain came aboard 10
try his hand at solving the mystery.
The ships papers and log were soon
found. We got her manifest and port
and date of sailing. and the last entry
on the log had been mad" five days be-
fore At that time all was well The
bodies in cabin and fcrecastle were of
course in a better state OF preservation.
and after an inspection the captain gave
-, ffr.af hnI
been poisoned. The attitude of each and
every man went 10 prove it. Their eyes
we're rolled back. their fingers clutched
and their knees 1rawn up.
The derelict was a great find to US
Her manifest showed Il cargo valued al
over 100000, and the ship was all riRht
above deck. As to the water in her ho.u'
we manned the pumps and had 1t out 10
the last pint in two hours. Then we maue
an investigation to lind the leak. ana We
soon discovered that a single auGer hole
had been bored in her bottom. The ofl-
flee had become more or less cloEEed with
seaweed. and it would have taken another
three or four days to have filled the snip.
As the man got away alone and had pro
visioned the boat. it must have been aIteF
the others were dead. He It was. tnen'
who had brought about the wholesale
death OF the crew, and he must have mad
strong motive. That motive was dis
covered when some of the boxes Of treas
ure were hoisted out of the laZarette and
broken open. Aside from one or two
boxes the whole treasure business was a
fake. Lead had been substituted for sill
vcr and gold. The furs were n cheat and
q fraud. and the value of the dyestuffs
was not one-quarter Of the sum they were
insured for. second and closer search
of the stateroom evidently occupied by