River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1914-04-02
THE ARlST0cRATIC NOSE
CONTINUED FROM LAST WEEK
BY E. S. Reed

SVNtINVEU fhUM LRSI WIEN
Now it has often been noticed
that an individual who promotes
the conspicuous aristocratic nose
feels contempt for any one else
who displays it, assuming a mon
opoly of the business. Well, we
guess that he-she or it-who owns
one is really the only one who adj
mires it. But is there then no
good excuse for the display Of this
species of nose? Is it offensive
only to the other fellow? Or may
it not indicate that an "offencen
has been scented by the olfactory
nerves that prompts the "eleva-
ton" and that the innocent pos
SCISSOR is not necessarily "stuck
up" with pride because he projects
his nose into che purer air? The
recollection of an incident in my
own experience prompts to char
liable Judgment. Just after the
close of the civil war l was prin-
cipal of a grammar school where
the board gave me Hoosier
schOolmaster for assistant. His
first name was Sam. Sam had the
reputation of being "stuck up" I
had been accustomed to associate
the exhibition of pride in an indi-
vidual with something markedly
distinctive in his make-up-clothes
superior education or some other
accomplishment that nursed it but
Sam seemed to be devoid of such
distinction. There was nothing
about his clothes to claim special
attention except in their misfit
saw the result of his examination
for certificate and | am sure he
did not have education enough to
justify his being puffed up with
pride. But he was "stuck up"
His nose was habitually pointing
upward at the conventional angle.
We found good boarding place
and the lady gave us the largest
and pleasantest room in the house.
The first evening at this boarding
place passed with agreeable re-
Elections and at length Sam re-
marked that he "reckoned" that
he would turn in. (The Hoosiers
never say ~ guess" but "reckon.m
"The subsequent proceedings" of
that evening are wildly pictured
upon my mind. | sat by the Win
dow reading paper while Sam
disrobed. He Invested himself of
his coat and laid it over a chair.
Ditto his vest, then his necktie
and collar. After this he deliber-
ately sat down in a chair, raised
his right leg and placed it across
his left knee. Sam was a big, tall,
rawboned frontiers man. He be-
gan to pull off his boots, number
ten cowhides. AS he did not have
a "bootiack" he had much diff
Guilty in getting them off by hand.
But after a good deal Of effort
the first boot came off and drop
ped to the floor with a bang.
Then he pulled off the other and
began to remove his socks! Those
socks I believe l can smell them
yet! They smelt to heaven! A
sickening odor that drove me to
the open window to hang half
outside with "seasickness." Then
it dawned upon me that Sam was
was not proud. His nose was ha-
bitually stuck up in the effort to
get as far away from his feet as
possible. He was a good fellow
but the only way to sleep in that
room without having the night
mare was to have him hang his
feet out of the window.
And now when | see man or
woman with the nose stuck up in
the air I think it more to their
credit to attribute it to malcdor-
Gus feet rather than to an empty