davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
IMPOSSIBLE FOR ENGLISH
he Washington Star.

From the Washington Star.
 Apropos of the English boycott upon German music, Dr. Leopold Richter, the well known conductor said in Milwau- kee:
 ''The English. anyhow, don't care very much for German music. The English are too conventional. Your English musi- clan, your English actor, your English author, he must always be a gentleman Well, gentlemen are rather limited rather narrow. There are so many things gentlemen cant do
 When my friend. Dr. Richard Strauss was drilling the Covent Garden orchestra in Elecktra he was very much annoyed by the tameness of the English playing Finally, at a wild and savage passage he rapped sharply with his baton and said:
 \ You are all playing like gentlemen Don't play like craftsmanship like wild beasts"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

from the Cincinnati Enquirer. Lots of rummies who can't even spell clairvoyant know all about communing with the spirits. A woman likes to keep up-to-date, but she hates to learn the latest wrin- llle.
 When you sit down and think it over you'll find that the things we do not do afford us the most happiness. husband and wife can get up a
 fine three-day battle over the question Of which is the best-natured Once in awhile you will see girl who looks as though everything about her except her mind is made up. Some of our best young people are
 mortified at the idea of a prize fight that lasts an hour. But they, will go
 ahead and get married and start a, battle that lasts a lifetime. If man would hold his wife's hands
 as much after he gets her as he did before he got her. maybe he could hold her heart longer. | This is. the time of year when you
 have to kow-tow around the tanitor
 and make him think that he is bet
 ter than you are. or else go to bed carly to keep warm. | There are a lot of men in the world who never put their best foot forward
 until they have a hole in the other shoe
 l You can't account for tastes all the
 time. But you usually know where
 you landed that dark brown one.
 The old-fashioned man who thought
 that his house was his castle now has
 a son who thinks that his flat is his cabaret.
 Somc birds have heap of sense | You can't blame the stork for dodg- a n ha fh> Ind <.e
 the house sitting around nursing a poodle in her arms
 There may have been a time when poverty was a blessing. But it was before steak was sold by the inch and butter by the carat.
 When man is knocking some other man to you always remember that you are next on his list
 f A smart barber can always get d tip by asking callow youth if he wants d shave and asking a bald-headed man if he wants hair cut.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
How Conner Feels

There has been considerable specula ton on the part of many citizens of the state as to how B. B. Conner took his defeat in his race for the democratic nomination for governor In the following letter, ad- dressed by MT. Conner to J. B. Garber secretary of the state democratic cam paign committee, the scarcely whispered questions are answered:
 Your letter of past date I unfortu- nately mislaid. I congratulate the cam paign committee on having you for it's secretary. Am sure you will render good account.
 'I thank your committee for courtesy to me, and will be glad, indeed, to call on you from time to time, seeing how The campaign progresses.
 Wishing you and all the nominees abounding success, with regards, l am. yours very truly, B. E. CONFER"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
The State Fair

Few fairs ever held in the south have been so educational as Birming- hams State Fair, and as for the amusement features, no show has ever been so diverting. Despite the rain many persons have enjoyed the ex- hibits to the fullest extent. Every body who appreciates the value of the live stock industry and who in spects the cattle exhibits expresses amazement at the fine display.
 We will probably have a weekend of beautiful weather. All the people of Birmingham should see the fair. Those who do not attend this sweelz must arrange to swell the gate re- ceipts next week.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
Diversification in Walker

That it was folly to plant cotton to the exclusion of every other crop has been demonstrated" said Guy V. O'Rear a well known resident of Jasper. sand I predict that irrespective of the outcome of the present financial depression, the farmers will give their attention to diver sification next year.
 Walker county has already made pro- gress in this respect. We have many pro- gressive farmers in our county, and they will not run the risk again of being caught with lot of cotton on hand and very little corn and meat and other stuff on which they could live"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
IN A NuTSHELL

From the New York Sun.
 In 19 words Senator Henry Cabot Lodge states the whole case:
 "Either Germany will dictate the terms of peace or the allies. There will be no half way about it.'
 Will premature eircnists and amateur peace patchers please observe and pre- serve?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

needed; to, speak, therefore, of militarism is meaningless. The public is not so easily to be misled. It has seen exploded in a day the theory that great armies made for peace; it will hardly be per suaded into thinking that mlitarism is a mere bogy because it is difficult to find the precise point at which it begins. But as a matter of fact, this point can be determined more closely than might be supposed A militia for home defense does not imply mlitarism, nor does a standing army, unless it is great enough to be standing menace. The transition point may be found at the point where a nation is so strongly prepared for offen- siye warfare that the first onslaught on an unprepared enemy will be crushing. From that point competition becomes a matter of life and death, because after war breaks out early unreadiness cannot be retrieved. Thus contest is entered upon in peace which has no logical end but war or bankruptcy, and to make the situation more perilous the offensive gains so prodgious an advantage that in any crisis each nation is on edge with fear that the other will gain fatal start by striking first.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
IDLE OPINIONS.

The honest man grieves over his fallen neighbor. The hypocrite feels uplifted.
 Too often short cut to riches leads to a long hiatus in penitentiary.
 More and more people are giving up the struggle to make both ends meet, con- vinced that it can't be done.
 The lass who loves a sailor may have him come to her after the war is over-if he belongs to the German navy.
 Singing under fire is a fine exhibition of heroism, but we still think the greater hero is the man who supports wife and seven children on a salary of s12 a week and sings at his work. PAUL COOK
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
Robbers and Policemen

George S. Obear, chairman of the state committee of the progressive party, said yesterday that there would be no amalgamation between the re- pubhcans and progressives in any of the counties. His statement was prompted by rumors that the county committees of the bull moosers and the straightout G. o. P.s had compro- missed. or would compromise, on county tickets.
 "Rumors have been circulated that in some counties the progressives would unite with the republicans on a county ticket" said Chairman Obear yester- day. These rumors are absolutely un- true and l cannot too strongly em- phasize the fact that there will be absolutely no anal lgamation of any kind between the progressives and re- Ipublicans. There will be a progressive ticket in all counties.
 There will be an amalgamation like unto that of policeman and burglar, as MT. Roosevelt stated recently"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
A Significant Difference

From the Huntsville Democrat.
 It is said the sheriff of Jefferson county makes $1S00 from feeding the prisoners a single month, yet the whole health de- partment of the state is allowed but $25,0eo a year. This matter was brought up by Dr. Oates, state inspector of prisons, at a meeting of the Mobile Medical society. held to suggest reforms in sanitary legis- lation. Dr. w. H. Sanders stated that the work in his department was handi- capped for lack of funds.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
ADRIF'T WITH THE TIMES
HOW ABSURD.

l don't know why the world should seen
 A place so full of care, Without a single sunny beam
 To drive away despair. l don't know why my heart should be
 Just like weight of lead. Although I s1umbered cozily
 The night long in my bed don't know why the morning should Appear so full of gloom, With very little that is good
 Life s pathway to illume l don't know why my mood is cross And why my thoughts are sad, Unless it is I feel the loss Of things I've never had.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
STILL A BRIGHT SIDE
From the Gallipolis (o.) Tribune.

From the Gallipolis (O.) Tribune.
 Russian caviar is one of the things that will not be imported for sometime to come, and there is only a two-months supply in this country. However, as most of 1t is caught at and about San dusky, O., and sent to Russia to be packed and shipped back to retail at about a nickel's worth for 75 cents, may be we can worry along. Therell be no trouble about Swiss cheese. Most of it is made now in Indiana and Michigan.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
Down With the King.

From the Jasper Mountain Eagle.
 Let's declare our independence of King Cotton and make him our servant Raise plenty of corn, hay, oats, potatoes, mo- lasses and meat and let King Cotton come down from his throne and serve in your field as surplus crop. This applies to those who own their own farms.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

In the meantime Birmingham will keep itself in good business trim and will get ready for the era of pros perity that is to surpass all former periods of good times.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
IN ALABAMA SANCTUMS
Richmond Has "FalIenv

From the Mobile Item.
 Also. speaking of patriots, Capt. ''Isich' Hobson has informed the democratic ex- ecutive committee of Alabama that his exacting duties ill Washington will pre- vent him. coming home to make any speeches for the democratic candidates in the fall election. Gap" Hobson appears to be sticking to the job-at last.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
Does Advertising Pay.

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
 Our understanding is that the girls who are to appear on the midway platforms at the fairgrounds are still pursuing a par simonious policy in the matter of front curtains.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
The Governor "ResoIutesv

From the Marion County News
 The governor and congressman are reso- luting on the curtailment of the cotton crop. This reminds us of the time when the devil told the Savior if he would bow down and worship him he would give him the whole world, when as a matter of fact he did not own a foot of land.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

Dropping aerial bombs on the heads of noncombatants doesn't have the slight est effect one way or the other on the ultimate result of war, and is therefore all the more reprehensible
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
MILITARIsM

From the Springfield Republican.
 That militarism has been put on the defensive is shown by recent denials of it's existence Armies are neeed for de- fense, and the size of the army depends on the peril against which defense ig
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
An Insnirnfian

From the Talladega Home.
 The Montgomery Journal contains an advertisement the like of which we never before saw published. A firm of that city advertises that it desires to contract with farmers for 100000 bushels of wheat to be planted this fall and delivered next July and August. That is an advertisement of inspiration.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
FLATTERING ATTENTION.

Why is Doppelby so pleased this morn ing?' "A young woman cast reflections on him last night"
 I don't see why that should tickle his vanity"
 "she was singing on the stage and used d hand mirror"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

The Russians have forbidden inhabi- provinces to speak the German language. There's nothing Ike adding insult to in- jury in the pleasant pastime of war.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
More Policemen Needed

q am informed," said member of the Washington colony last night, ''that Chief Martin Eagan of the police de- partment, in his annual report to be submitted october 15, will request that his department be increased by 50 men, I am informed also that Captain Eagan will report to the commission that an additional 50 men are absolutely nec- essary for the protection of the peo- pie and the law of Birmingham.
 T have read very much recently con- corning the ardent desire of the city commissioners to do something really worth while for Birmingham They have 'monkeyed with many subjects. I hope that they will take advantage of the Eagan report to render a real serv- ice, and one out of which little gain in politics is to be achieved"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
The Governors Activity lba Col,,,a rr,,,.oa

From the Selma Times
 The governors and financial statesmen who are running to Washington to do something for cotton could do better by staying at home and putting the expenses of the trip in the buy-a-bale movement.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

With Europe in such a turmoil, Car ranza i,iay have some difficulty in choos- ing a place of refuge when Mexico gets too hot to hold him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

BEGINNING THE DAN.-Protect me today, 0 my God, from the arr TOW that fIieth by night and the ,,csti,euce that wasteth at monday
 from inc secret and the open ene- ,..es. Give me strength to meet the one md cunning to avoid the other. He power for my battle and refuge for my flight. In Chrisfs name' Amen.-H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

Spain has offered to care for 30,o00 wounded soldiers in her hospitals, A humane offer. and it comes from coun- try long famed for bull fights
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

One of the most astonishing features of the war in Europe is the unanimity with which the Russians have rallied around the Czar.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

That German soldier who is said to have taken a doll away from a little girl was carrying the doctrine of Nietzsche entirely too far
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
UP-To-DATE VERSION.

Warfare nowadays is not what it used to be-"
 Perhaps nots
 For instance, the monarch who shouted A horsei A horse My Kingdom for A horse? caught in similar predicament in modern battle would probably shout. My kingdom for motor carl"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

A mouse frightened an Illinois woman and broke her leg. Yet, that same woman would doubtless make daring Red Cross nurse
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
scAREs ONE so.

What kind of doctor would you prefer. cheerful one or a solemn one?e
 "A cheerful one, I guess. At least. I hate for doctor to get solemn after he looks at me-"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

Although the opening of the hunting season in Maine is about due. the fatali- ties will hardly equal those of the war in Europe.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

The Kaiser is a busy man but King George continues to stay at home and mind what Queen Mary says.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

The clash of two opposing college elev- ems is tame compared to the struggle that is taking place along Europe's battle line.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
JUST so.

The man who's strictly on the square," Yet will a rounder be- Commits some acts he doesn't care
 For everyone to see.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

Old Bill sulzer continues to take him self seriously. Some men are like that.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

The Kaiser fell into a trench half full of water and caught cold. At this dis tance we presume it is safe to smile.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
IS NEW ENGLAND PIE DOOMED,

The censors seem to think there is hard ly any news that's fit to print.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

The Hague peace palace will never be what it was intended to be until the last big gun factory is put out of business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

We are such stuff As dreams are made of, and our little
 life Is rounded with a sleep. -Tempesi'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
KEPT AT HOME.

There is not much danger of this coun- try being invaded
 T guess not. Our only warlike neighbors are the Mexieans and they are too busy fighting among themselves
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

WORTH WHILE. He followed the dream It led to despair, With naught to redeem A life filled with care. Yet, dying, he smiled, His heart knew content, By this thought beguiled, My days were well spent"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02

Music is great attraction at the State Fair. Two excellent bands-the Scotch Highlanders and Memoli's-give concerts daily. Memoli plays in the Home Products are delightful.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
NO TOURIST.

NO TOURIST. Since the war in Europe began great impetus has been given to the See Amer lea first movement" said Giddings I've noticed that said Plodsworth. but it hasn't affected my attitude in the least"
 Why not?'
 "The state of my purse compes me to see America first. last and all the time.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
Less Corn. More H-n
From the Gadsden Times-News.

from the Gadsden TlmeS-NeWS. | Several years ago, when corn was sell 1 ing for only Il cents a bushel in Kansas. Mary Ellen Lease told the Kansas farm | CTS to raise less corn and more hell" l We need a Mary Ellen to talk to our cot l ton farmers
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
FALL FASHIONS.

What do you think of the ridiculous little short coats men are wearing these days?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-02
NORTH WHILE.

T think that if Reuben came to town he would be right in style''
The weekly times-record. (Valley City, N.D.) 1912-1922, 1914-02-05

which will prevent fires. and in case
of fires will prevent disasters. He
has condemned buildings where nee
essary and caused others to be closed
until they comply with legal provis-
ions as to exits and general construc-
ton. His work has been impartially
performed and is worth thousands of
dollars to the people Of the state In
measures tending to prevent fires. We
cannot close without driving home the
fact that the people can derive no
benefit from good Laws unless they
are wisely and impartially enforced.
Marshal Runge has made this law ef-
fective and afficacious because he has
a knowledge of its provisions and a
purpose to carry them into effect, an
other man as fire marshal, without
knowledge of fire fighting and with
out character and will, would have
written the new act a dead letter.
The weekly times-record. (Valley City, N.D.) 1912-1922, 1914-02-05
WHAT A LOCAL MAN DID.

This Is Silos. Corn and Beef and 10
only a brief statement Of facts by Sid
Ellis whom every one in the county
knows. In an interview Mr.. Ellis stat
ed that he Is feeding 70 head of beef
cattle this winter from the contents
of his silo and made the broad state.
ment that he is getting more pounds
Of beef from IS acres Of silage than
he has been able to do from los acres
of bundle corn. In addition to this he
has 200 head of hogs that are doing
fine in the same yard with the cattle.
Next season Mr.. Ellis will build two
more silos and will greatly increase
his acreage Of corn. He raised this
year $50 acres of Northwestern Dent
Corn and is feeding los acres Of it In
bundle 80 that he has splendid
chance to test the merits Of the silo.
Mr.. Ellis is very much pleased with
the results he Is obtaining from his
farm and stock and believes sincerely
that this county is adapted to stock
and dairying and that sooner or later
it will be in the great dairy belt and
land will be as high here as anywhere
in the United States where land Is
used for agricultural purposes.
The weekly times-record. (Valley City, N.D.) 1912-1922, 1914-02-05
CHICAGO TRIES NEW PLAN.

"Old Dad Dearborn" with grocer's
apron around his gith. will stand be-
hind the counter and weigh out prunes
and sugar in Chicago streets at the op-
ening Of the first municipal store. The
store will be managed by County
Agent Joseph Meyer. Staple groceries
will be sold to deserving citizens at
cost. There will be no profit on the
sales. The food supplies will not be
given away. They will be sold at the
Wholesale price to families which have
been reduced to poverty b. unemDloy-
ment. All purchasers will be investi-
gated before being allowed to patron.
ize the store. A system Of registration
will be installed to keep track OF the
customers. 1.-THE success Of this store
which belongs to the municipality, will
determine whether more will be estab-
yished in other parts Of the city" said
Mr: Meyer.
The weekly times-record. (Valley City, N.D.) 1912-1922, 1914-02-05
SEATS FOR WOMEN.

Much of this so-called courtesy to
women is merely survival of the old
chivalrous attitude which an acute
scholar has described as an instant
readiness to fight every able-bodied
man and make love to every attrac-
tive woman. .a
When tired male feels con-
strained to offer his seat to a husky
young female on her way home
from matinee, and she takes it as
matter of course, we do not see that
there has been any advance toward
a better relationship between the
sexes. A better relationship must in.
volve reciprocal kindness, forbearance
and understanding.
Above all, in our opinion. it. must in.
volve abandonment Of thu old chival.
rous.! cmantic standpoint. Chivaly
made women elaborate bows; it also
made her do the washing without pay
Women cannot have perfect equality
and ndesension-exact justice and 9
special privilege.
We think rather poorly of that
courtesy which consists merely in per
forming certain conventional acts
Whether man lifts his Lat to wo
man is of no consequence to anybod,
in comparison with whethe~ he is will
ing she should vote if she wants to-
Saturday Evening Post.
The weekly times-record. (Valley City, N.D.) 1912-1922, 1914-02-05

Often come with little warning.
Children suffer in their early years
Can't control the kidney secretions.
Girls are languid, nervous, suffer
pain.
Women worry, can't do daily work.
Men have lame and aching backs.
If you have any form Of kidney Ills
You must reach the cause.-the kid
neys.
Deans Kidney Pills are for weak
Kidneys
Have brought relief to Valley City
people.
Valley City testimony proves It.
Mrs. John Neustaedter, 619 Maple
Ave-. Valley City, N. D., says: I'VE
like Deans Kidney Pills and it Is the
only kidney remedy we use in our fam
fly. For many years we have taken
them for kidney trouble and bachache
and find that they are good"
For sale by all dealers. Price 50
cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-Doan's-and
take no other
The weekly times-record. (Valley City, N.D.) 1912-1922, 1914-02-05
Daddy sBedtirrle
w. The Friendly
'Nf0TV Pussy Cat Stray.
From Home

wo pairs very eyes Evelyn
called for the bedtime story =.
Pussie Prue q friendly "Her mother.
make friends Of
every
would sometimes slip out and on around
ngborhood visiting Then when she missed Pues little mistress
when back Prue enjoy
getting lost
everything quiet in the house Pue stretched
Ind yawned the front porch
school, perhaps he'll
always did leave the gate
Pue the Then che
rose, stretched herself and crept to the gate
fish mans several blocks
when she followed the
the gate, generally threw piece Of fish to her.
there and meet him., purred Pussie Prue
Ing around the corner.
stopped into gateway and the
somewhat out
y.
the pus pusse cried little girl coming out Of gate
va . little farther along
brother Prue had dash Into an
other fence get out Of their
did scat
She'll stealing the fish next
$50 and while he was at It, cross
had only time to
rushu -
this The best friends little cat mas
Pussie said when she home"