davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-08-21

1t is announced remarkable and fearsome
thing, that II states, with less than half of the
trys population, contributed sixsevenths of the in
tax collections, 30 cents per capital, while
36 states with over half the population, contributed
but cents per capita, Kansas, for instance, but
cents
There is much to be learned from these statistics
In the first place, the wealth, indicated by m
comes, is somewhat concentrated But the fact that
three-fourths of the states not populated by
drawers of large incomes does not indicate poverty of
those regions. 1t may, indeed, indicate higher
average of prosperity. Kansas is known as state
of extraordinarily prosperous people. No one will
say that she would be better off should her per capita
of tax be raised from to so cents through Rookie
Teller family being assessed within her borders. In
stead of few abnormally wealthy families, Kansas
$1,000 to $4,000 somewhat greater amounts that do
not pay high percentage of the tax. Prosperity
does not depend upon the few having much, but up
on the many having something
The income tax is intended to fall heaviest those
best able to pay If New York and other eastern
states bear the big bulk of this tax it only remains
to say that they We got the incomes.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-08-21
OLEVAH. RY GEoRGE,

Sir George Reid, the high COM
missioner for the Australian COM
monwealth, is popular there.
When he was made q knight
commander OF the Order of st.
Michael and st. George the peo-
pie of Australia who had known
him as plain George Reid wor-
ried him a good deal about his
new dignity.
Ter called out, sareastfcally:
Say, Sir George, what does
X. G. NJ. c. mean?"
Without a moments hesitation
Reid replied:
Keep calling me George,"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-08-21
Our Own Geography
(Unexpurgated)
AI.ARANIY

" " V
o ALABAMY. o
o Some geographers say .
g that the Suanee ribber 9
. passes thru the misty wales 9
. of Alabamy; others neglect o
9 this point. We do not wish .
o TO take sides. SO you can 9
. take your choice. The Sua- @
Q nee ribber DOES or it does @
o NOT. Alabamy is noted for g
o cotton, bad gin. cotton gin .
o and Majahs. There used to o
o be duels in front of the Cot o
. House every other moonfit .
I. evening but this popular o
. outdoor sport has fallen in .
. to sad decadence, much to .
Q the saline sorroky of Irwin .
. Cobb, who writes comic .
. pieces for the Satevepost in .
. terspersed, you might say, .
. with sorrowful stories of the .
. sunny south. One of the ,
o chief objects of interest In .
. Ala. is the Poor White .
. Trash, a1tho there is nothing .
. to prove that there is any .
. more white trash in Ala. .
. than in some other states .
y we might mention. .
. Tomorrow-F1orida. .
Q g . . . . . . . @44 .
It's awful warm down south
here at this time of year I am
afraid we will not get to Alaska
TIL winter, either.
@. n CHESTNUT.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-08-21

do you like the little new
sister at your house." said the
kindly neighbor to a small boy.
Yes, like her," answered
Willie, but I'D rather had a
brother"
We'll, IL you aren't satisfied,
why don't you take her back and
exchange herr" asked the neigh
Dor.
"Oh, it's too late now" an
swered Willie. I'VE got her a
week ago, and she's been laund-
cred a couple of time already.
No shop would exchange her
nOWi"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-08-21
THE REroRT sKIRTEoUs

The local debating society were
en- joying a heated discussion on
the land question.
"Mr. Smith" concluded one
member, has told US many
things, but nothing 10 the point.
His arguments are like erinoline
dresses. they cover everything
but touch nothing"
Mr.. Smith promptly rose, ready
for the fray.
THE honorable member" he
exclaimed, has adroitly avoided
the issue. His arguments bear n
strong resemblance to the present
elinging diaphanous fashions -
they touch everything and cover
nothing"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-08-21
DISTRESSING

And so you were held up
abroad by the war. You suffer-
ed many Inconvenience no
doubt"
Yes, indeed. Why for week g
before l could get out there
wasn't a tango parlor OPEN
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-08-21
NORTH KNOWING

A young couple went to a min
ister's house to get married.
After the ceremony the bride
groom drew the clergyman aside
and said In a whisper:
I'm sorry / have no money to
pay your fee. but IL you will take
me down into the cellar I'll show
YOU how to fix your gas meter SO
Ii won't register.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-08-21
why, of Course

california has annexed its volcano side
show for the exposition remarks Washington
correspondent Gibson Gardner.
Bet yer life, Gilsonl California annexes anything
the Lord sends. If there's any truly big thing that
no other state has got look for it in California; If
any other state has got truly big thing that Calfor
mia hasn't, look out for CALIFORNIA; annexing it.
Saloon owners who formerly joked about Mayor
Fawcetts anti-treating ordinance have pretty
nearly decided that it is joke at all.
And now we learn that coal will be costlier this
year-yeP-On account of the war.
YES 1dearie. Roman stripes will be the fashion
fhis fall because the French dressmakers are busy
chasing the foe across the frontier.
Bacteria in the water from Green river Is now
aon,ebody's bugaboo That Green river is Just one
6urn thing after another, somehow.
Reserve your seats for the great political circus
enr1y for She going to be what Browning would call
I s<humdinRer. or thereab0utsi
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-08-21
PERTINENT QUESTIONS

"What'll You Have?"
Have Another"
Give Us A Drink"
Give Us A Good Cigar"
Give Us Another Drink" =
Enquirer.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-08-21
Necessities, and Then Some

Testifying before the Federal Industrial Commits
sion, Miss Lizzie Maloney, of the Chicago Waitress
es Union said:
"a girl should enough for the necessities of
life and for some of the things that the employers
want for their own children"
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-08-21

The Times today prints the first actual photo
graphs taken in the field since the started From
today forward, The Times will print actual photo
graphs taken along the Belgium frontier. These
pictures real they exclusive, they to ap-
pear in Tacoma only in this newspaper.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-08-21
ST
III
| JUST
LOOkIN'
ON
TRAVEL NOTES

Chas. Mckee, the w. X.
impresario of 9th ST., Is va
cationing. Back soon.
Judge Black, the Dem. as
pirant for the senate, Is do
ing quite a lot of r. r. ticket
buying lately.
Cap READ took the 4 p. m
nth st. car today, travelling
out to his home. Up. She
takes 1t every day.1
Chief Loomis travelled out
TO the ball yard yesterday.
X. Gamble, the genial fish
and clam m'ch't, travelled 40
Dungeness last April.
Owing primarily to pure tg-
norance this Spire of Sophistry
has not taken sides in the war.
AS soon as our torpid intellect is
brought to bear on these matters
our policy will be announced.
In the meantime, IL ap-
pears, from the Taunton Ga
zette, that Miss Antoinette
YeiIs Is attending the Taun-
ton Business College this
summer. Hah, Rahi Rshi
HE BOOZES AND HE LOOSEs
One of the Round girls
the bow-legged one-gave
Mai. Fairplay the mitten the
other night. She says he
boozes too much.-IrrigQn
(Ore.) Irrigator.
POPULAR FALLACIES.
THAT mosquitoes only bite
once.
2.-That mosquitoes only live
one day.
3.-That mosquito-bites won {
itch, If you don't scratch 'em.
4.-That IL you hold your
breath you can catch a mosquito
and slay it.
THE FACTS IN THE CASE.
Dear Sir: am asking You to
permit me to state through your
paper The true version of the
game on the Diamond in Colored
Town yesterday. Since IL looks
as IL some one wants to have us
painted in a beautiful summer
hue, | will state here, that there
was no row as some freehand
writer said. The contention was
over this tecinal point: A run
ner was making IL to the score
point: the ball being hurled there
as a preventive and a batter
threw his bat on the ball to save
his runner. This of course.
brought on the contention, and
ended the game. 1t did not re-
quire no one as a preserver of the
peace. We simply had a lively
chat over the elegality of the
act. Neither side being salts
fled, so the game ended. Respt
yours,
r.. A. POWERS.
Miami (F1a.) Herald.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-08-21
Saloon owners who formerly ioked about

And now we learn that coal will be c.
account of the war
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-08-21
YES. -dearie, Roman stripes will be {

this falI because the French dressmakel
chasing the foe across the frontier
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-08-21

snr1y for she going to be what Browning would call
s<knu.dinRer. OF thereab0utsi
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-08-21
Bacteria in Che water from Green river

1onlebody's bugaboo. That Green river j
1urn thing after another, somehow.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1914-08-21

HE BOOZES AND HE LOOSEs
One of the Round girls
the bow-iegged one-gave
Mai. Fairplay the mitten the
other night. She says he
boozes too much.-IrrigQn
(Ore.) Irrigator.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11
Written for the Kenova Reporter.l
Old w. V. u.
BY EUGENE HOOD.

West Virginia, we love thee, we
praise thee most high,
And we will ever remem Der in the
sweet by aud by,
The officers and students, who al
ways so true,
Now we herald our tidings to old
w. V. u.
For traitors and deserters we do
honestly sbhor,
Wen stand by our colors like SOL
diers of war,
And we'll wave the banners DER
us-the old gold and blue,
We'll shout the college praises to
old w. V. u.
l love the sweet memories of the
dear old school,
Now to the many classmates and
the goldon rule,
My heart strings are aching as
bid you adieu,
My friends and companions of
old w. V. u.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11
Duuleith, w. Va.

Uriah Rove is improving.
Mrs. Ed. Barnett of Huntington
WAS the guest of Mrs. Rowe Sat-
uday and Sunday.
Miss Edna Skean of Haynes
branch Is spending a few weeks
with Mrs. JEFF l'Iynale at Wayne.
Miss Cora Plymale has returned
10 Dunleith.
There has been quite a lot Of
plowing done in this section. Far
mers are getting ready for the new
crop.
There have been several conyer-
sions at the revival meeting held at
this place.
Miss Mabel Rowe spent Saturday
and Sunday with her parents at
DunleIth.
Misses Myrtle and Vernie Carey
were calling on Miss Erma PLY.
male Sunday.
There were eight baptized at the
Buffalo valley church Sunday by
Rev. "Bud" Smith.
Ed. Malcolm of Portsmouth, o.,
is visiting his parents, Mr.. and Mrs.
j. X. Malcolm.
Married, Feb. third, by Rev. J.
Skean, Mr. Samuel Earl of Dun
leith and Mrs. CloFinda Colburn of
near Shoals. We wish them q
happy and prosperous life.
AlOnzO Ward of Ohio has been
visiting his grandfather, Deck
Ward, Of Bob's branch.
Y. g. /. b. Y. Y. FOR U.
Feb. y, 1914.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11
Feel Miserable?

Out OF sorts, depressed, pain I'm the
back-Electric Bitters renews you health
and strength. A guaranteed liver and
kidney remedy. Money back IL not 81 1.
ished. IL completely cured Robert
madsen OF West Burlington, Iowa, who
suffered from virulent liver trouble for
eight months. After four doctors gave
him up he took Electric Bitters and is
now a we'll man. Get lOttle today IL
will do the same for you. Keep i'm the
house for all liver and kidney COM
plants. Perfectly safe and dependable.
It's results will surprise you. SOC aud
t1.OO. II. K. Bucklen 81 Co., Philadel-
phia or st. Louis. adv.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11
TWO ARE INJURED
Accident Occurred in the
Tunnel of the N. s. w.
M Road at Dingess.

Two me- were seriously injured
In an accident in the tunnel or the
n. =. w. al Dingess Thursday.
Two oars wers being backed into
the tunnel by a ~,rk train and thew
did not couple rigL. thus oausin.,
the head oar to bump :,,o ,rs az
giue. "Bud" Maynard, q carpsn-
ter, who was riding on the car, was
thrown to the ground and the back
of his head was badly bruised.
Mike Lawyer, who was near the car,
was knocked down and had hole
cut through his upper lip. Lawyer
resides in Kenova, and Maynard
lives in Ceredo. The train was in
charge of Conductor Alvis and
EnglneerGuy Osborne .-Advertiser,
Feb. z.
Mr.. Maynard received a slight
concussion of the brain, although
the wound is not considered neces.
sarily dangerous.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11
GRAND CHANCELLOR
KNIGHTS OF PYTHIAS
Issues Golden Jubilee Cir
cular to Members in
This State.

Sam V. Nuzum, grand chanceilo
of West Virginia, knights of Py.
thias, has mailed out Golden Jubi-
lee Circular No. 6 to members of
the order in this state. The copies
are pronounced the most beautiful
and complete that have ever been
issued by the order officially.
The grand chancellor calls atten-
tion to the order promulgated by
Supreme Chancellor Thomas j..
Carling, setting aside Thursday,
February 10, for special services to
be held in every knights of Pythlas
castle in the world in commemora-
tion of the foundation of the order
fifty years ago.
Attention is also called to the
special service that will be held in
Washington, ID. g., the original
home of the order, on this date.
This service wRl be a special ritual
istic service, and TO make the OBJ
servance of the day more solemn
and interesting, the same ritualistic
service will be held in each and ev-
cry lodge in the world.
The lights of Pythianism will be
burned on this occasion, and this
promises TO be an epoch making oc-
currence in the history of the order.
In addition to the order given, a
suggestion is also made that open
house be observed by lodges in ev-
cry city throughout the day, Febru.
ary l9, at which time members may
visit the hall with friends at any
time.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11
LARGE METEOR
Fell and Hit a Hundred
Gallon NitrogIycerine
Tank.

Sisterville, w. Va, January 81.
"A flaming meteor fell from the
sky at elk o'clock this morning
struck hundred gallon tank of nj.
troglycetine owned by the Young
Torpedo company, a mile from this
city, and in the explosion that came
with a terrific roar practically every
pane of glass in this city and New
Martinsville was broken and the
shock was felt as far as Clarksburg,
thirty miles away. SO far as known
no one was injured.
The meteor was seen in it's flight
by 5. Z. Curtis, an official of this
city,who was about half a mile from
the nitro tank. He said: ssI saw
what seemed to be a huge ball of
fire dropping from the heavens.
Then came the explosion, which
threw me to the ground. / was
stunned for several minutes, but
otherwise uninjured."
Reports coming in from Middle.
bourne, twelve miles away, Jack.
sonburg, eight miles away, and
other surrounding cities tell Of the
shock felt and shattering of win
dows. The explosion of the tank
rent a huge hole In the earth. about
800 feet in diameter and more than
100 feet in depth.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11
Big Fire at Huntington.

The large barn and garage be-
longing TO @. l.. Ridder, on tho
Eighth street hill, Huntington,
were destroyed by fire last Friday
night. Besides the barn and ga
rage reveral other small buildings
were also consumed, and it was by
heroic efforts on the part of a.
bucket brigade that the handsome
hilltop residence of MIR. Ridder was
saved. The loss will amount to
about $4,000, which is partially
covered by insurance.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11
kenoVa News.

Mrs. J. l.. Caldwell has pneumo>
MIA.
Mrs. J. P. Turner visited Cere-
do Wednesday.
Mrs. James Staley was a recent
visitor at Catlettsburg.
Mrs. T. L. Brown has about re-
covered from few days illness.
Mrs. L. w. Queen called on
friends at Ceredo Monday after
noon.
Byron, the little son of Mr.. and
Mrs. w. b. Morris, has whooplng
cough.
Mrs. w. b. Morris has been num-
bered among the sick for the past
few days.
Mr.. and Mrs. Lott were calling
on friends at Huntington Saturday
evening.
Mrs. Clyde Montgomery has re-.
turned from a visit with her parents
at Louisa.
Miss Fay Scott of Catlettsburg
was the pleasant guest of Kenova
friends last Sunday.
Mrp. j. p. Turner and daughter.
Mrs. Harry RIdgeway, were callers
at Ashland one day l0st week.
Mrs. g. s. Knapp and little
daughter, Beatrice, left Saturday
for visit with relatives at Parkers-
burg.
Mrs. Mary Tbacker has returned
to her home at Whites creek after a
pleasant visit with relatives at this
place.
A slight accident occurred at the
power house of the o. V. K. Ry
Co. Monday night when a switch
was left open permitting passenger
car to run int the work car. The
vestibule of the passenger car was
damaged TO the extent of 800.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11

things to my knowledge in tha,
country that had steam IN them nj,
the time, and they were an old road
engine and myself; and we had tho
misfortune to meet while was on
my way to the convention. Old
"Bill," that was the name of my
horse, scsred At that engine and
flung me off, just like New York il
tling'ng Murphy, and the back of
my pate hit a boulder that was lit
tie harder than my pate had autici-
pated. The consequence was small
hole was made IN my skull. 1t was
very small, but large enough to ad.
init the stock of brains 1 had to es-
cape. A fool doctor patched the
hole without ever looking tor my
brains; and after | had gotten up,
on my horse aud on the road TO the
convention, the doctor called me TO
come back and he would replace nv
brains. l was IN hurry to get to
the convention an1 told him to never
mind; l did not need them, as | was
going to political convention and
did not need brains.
But when We get there we graft
ed. We had red-eye galore, aud
every member grated on TO a glass.
As | was not there when the con.
vention closed, l cannot tell YOU
what happened. A gentleman who
wore blue duster came and took
me by the arm and invited me away
with him; and when got home
was at that time through with poll
ILics.
j. X. BoGGs.
Kenova, w. Va
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11
Have YOuPIenty of Calling
Cards?

These fine days gives one an op-
portunity to make lots of calls, but
your calling cards must be engraved
to be proper az society demands it.
Bring your old plate or let us
make you a new one from the many
different styles we have. Price
100 cards including plate 81. so to
$3.50.
Wild q Boette's drug store, Flor
entine Hotel corner, Huntington.
w. Va. adv.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11
Methodist Minister Recommends
Chdmb6rldin'S Couch Remedu.

Rev. James A Lewis. Milaca, MINI. :.
writes: chamberlain Cough Reme-
dy had been needed and welcome
guest iii our home for number of
years. L highly recommend 1t to my
fellows as being medicine worthy OF
trial in cases OF colds, coughs and
Group" Give Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy n trial and we are confident
you will find it very effectual and con-
tinue to use it as occasion requires for
years to come, as many others have
done. For sale by all dealers.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11

Hon. w. L. Mansfield of the
Huntington Herald Dispatch has
been appointed by the grand chan.
cellor of West Virginia a member of
the committee to represent the
grand lodge of this state at the
Golden Jubilee celebration of the
order to be held at Washington, D.
c., the 10th TO 2Ist inst.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11
Clubbing Rates.

We have been clubbing this pa.
per with the Cincinnati Daily Post
or Daily Times Star At $3.50 per
year, but notice has been received
that the Cincinnati papers named
have each increased the price so
cents. Hereafter we Will send this
paper and either the Cincinnati Post
or Cincinnati Times-Stsr one year
for $500. II.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11
New Company Added.

The German American Insurance
Co. Of New York has been added
to the list OF companies comprIs.
ing the McDougsl Fire Insurance
Agency. The German American 3
gross assets amount to @21, ,23s, ,425-
and its surplus over capital and all
liabilities to S9,662,O27.
strong, isn't ltE 2lJaD.4w.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11
Card of Thanks.

We wish to extend our sincere
thanks to each and every one of
our friends who showed US kind
ness In any way during our great
bereavement.
Mrs. HARRY RIDGEwAY,
MRS. A. w. RIDaEwAY,
Mr.. AND MRS. ]. P. TURNER.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11
The Best Gouuh Medicine.

'I have used Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy ever since have been keeping
house, says L. g. Hames Of Marbury
Ala. II consider IL one Of the best
remedies I ever used. Ny children have
all taken it and it works like a char n
For colds and whooping cough it is ex-
cellent." For sale by all dealers. adv.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11

Mrs. Ruth Vernon Beinkamp-
en- died AT the home of her parents.
Mr.. and Mrs. A. j. Williams, on
Twelfth street, Tuesday afternoon,
January 3, 1914, at three O'Clock,
aged l9 years.
Mrs. Bienkampen, then Miss Will
liams, was united in marriage TO
Mr.. Edgar Beinkampen about four
months ago. The young couple
eloped to Ironton, Ohio, where the
marriage took place. On returning
they we're caught in a dreDcbing
rain. The young lady contracted
a severe cold which two weeks later
terminated in consumption.
She was a graduate of the Ceredo-
KenoVa high school, being a MEM
Der of the only class composed of
girls, the class of l9l1.I2,
Funeral services were conducted
at the NJ. K. church Thursday af-
ternoon at two o'clock, after which
the remains were conveyed to the
cemetery at Catlettsburg, KY, and
inferred. Rev. Wm Fallen, pastor
of the NJ. K. church, Of which de-
nomination Mrs. Beinkampen was
member, conducted the services
both at the church and grave.
The. deceased was of . lovable
disposition and her friends we're
numbered by the score. Classmates
acted a. pail bearers, and at her re
quest Miss Blanche Griffith sang
"Nearer My God TO Thee" at the
services.
The young husband, parents and
other relatives have the sympathy
Of the entire community IN this
their sad bereavement.
Feb. 8. REPoRrER.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1914-02-11
Don't You Believe lt.
Kenova, w. Va

Some say that chronic constipation
cannot be cured. Don't you believe it,.
Chamberlain's Tablets have cured 9th
ers-why not you? Give them a trial
They cost only quarter. For sale by
all dealers. adv