The Washington herald., 1914-02-27
Statesmen, Real and Near.
BY FRED c. KELLY

II
sergeant-at-Arms Of the Senate, has been
carrying about a verbal message to Will
lam JENNINGS Bryan. without having the
heart to deliver IL He fears II will make
Mr.. Bryan sad and downcast.
The message is from a once success
fnl pickpocket now serving time In the
tpenitentiary OF n Western State. Higgins
was visitor at that penitentiary q
while ago and the warden proudly In
troduced the pickpocket as one Of his
leading celebrities
As soon as the pickpocket learned that
Higgins was from Washington, his face
hshted up and he exclaimed:
II wish you'd give my best regards to
William J. Bryan when you get back
therei He did me a great service once"
II seems that the pickpocket chap was
tine OF several men In his profession who
were travelling after Bryan during one
OF his Presidential campaigns, because
every where that Bryan spoke they found
crowds, and crowds were their harvest
fields.
Bryan learned that men In his au-
oiences had been robbed. and according
10 the mans story, he prefaced his re-
marks at one meeting by simple word
Of caution.
II do not want to see any of our peo-
pie robbed" said Bryan. "and I suggest
that you one and all keep a close watch
on your yaiuables, II you have any with
you"
That was the signal for every man who
had money on him to clutch his pocket
book and In that way the pickpockets
were able to tell just where great riches
| were located.
There was one man I'm the audience
whom they had selected for a victim In
advance. because II was known that he
had Just been to the bank after a large
sum OF money.
This man was n cautious person to start
with, and after Bryan's warning he would
not take his hand away from his wallet
which he carried in side trousers
pocket.
The pickpockets tried to jostle him and
worked every professional device they
knew to coerce his hand out OF his
pocket. But the hand stuck there
Until William Jennings Bryan came to
the rescue.
Toward the close OF the services, Mr..
Bryan observed:
Il believe most of you here are in SYM
pathy with what I have been saying.
wish that all who favor the PROPOSE
tons / have been discussing would hold
up your hands, SO that can count you. %
Then at last the man took his hand out
OF his pocket and held IL heavenward.
In fact he held up both hands. for he
was a Bryan enthusiast.
When he put his hand back in his
pocket his money was gone.
Senator Kern was talking here the
other day to an old friend from Ko-
komo.
whats become of-Bill Jones?'' he
asked, recalling a mutual acquaint-
ance.
oh. Bits doing WELL" replied the
visitor. HE bought his wife a taxicab
the other day"
One Of the leading characteristics of
Henry Ford. the automobile manufac-
urer-philanthrOpist. is his fondness
for John Burroughs, the naturalist.
As soon as Ford got rich he became
greatly interested in all kinds of birds
and he gathered together at his coun-
try place near Detroit all the rare va
rieties Of birds he could lay his hands
on. This hobby brought him into close
touch with Burroughs and Ford thinks
Burroughs is about the greatest man
alive. As consequence OF this.
everywhere that Burroughs goes an
auto is sure 10 follow. Ford instructs
his agents in whatever part OF the
country Burroughs happens to be. to
see TO II that Burroughs does not have
to walk. but has an automobile con-
stantly at his disposal. Just recently
when Ford was arranging to go South
with Thomas A. Edison to work out
some automObilious plans. he made
Burroughs. promise TO go along. His
idea was to have Burroughs handy to
talk to about birds. to furnish recrea-
tIon at the close Of each days work
with Edison.
Representative William 4. Ashbrook.
Of Ohio, received an almost fearful letter
recently from a woman in his district
imploring him not to send any more gov
ernment seeds or bulbs into their once
tranquil home. II seems that Ashbrook,
not content with sending a few radish
and lettuce seeds, had franked a large
consignment. Of narcissus and tulip bulbs
as nuggets OF good cheer TO a few of
the more fortunate among his constitu-
ents.
One woman put only part of the bulbs
into the ground and put the others away
for future reference. Then she hired
new cook. and shortly thereafter gave
big dinner. a feature Of which was to
be a certain kind OF salad containing
onions. Many a thoughtful reader has
doubtless guessed by now what happen
ed-how the bitter taste of the narcissus
bulbs, inadvertently substituted for on
ions. complicated the feast and how all
was woe.
I'VE will not care for any more gov
ernment bulbs" the woman wrote to
Ashbrook; the flowers could not pos
sibly recompense for the trouble We had
over the salad"
Copyright. 1914. by Frcd G Kelly. All rights re-
serTedl