davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-02-12
HEARD IN A "LIFrl"

"Odd that we call this an elevator
when it's descending"
"What would you call it, them"
can enervator-that's something
that lowers us in physical way, you
know"
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-02-12
NATURALLY,

did you read in the papers where
a man cut his way out of prison with
a spoon?"
"That must have made a stir"
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-02-12
POOR SUBSTITUTE,

Willie-Paw, are there any substi-
tutes for tobacco?
Paw-Yes, there are plenty of
five-cent cigars, my son.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-02-12
HIS REASON.

GLOW did you come to ask for
Miss Jiggers hand 2"
Because / noticed it always won
at bridge"
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-02-12
THE CUSTOM.

"Will says Maude is his idol and
yet he makes her mad"
"Yet the usual way to treat an.
idol is to incense it."
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-02-12
DRAMATIC "REDUcTIoN."

81 see that New York has sold all
its garbage to Buffalo contractor"
"Thats strange. l thought they
were utilizing it on the stage"
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-02-12
THE ONLY TIME.

did you ever register at that
placer"
eyes, registered . hek."-Bal-
timore American.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-02-12
ONE OF THE BOYS.

"How is little Clarence Fothering-
well Jones getting along at school ?"
"First rate, l guess. His play
mates call him. Muggsy' now"
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-02-12
UNDISPUTED FACT.

'Why must we blondes always be
considered frivolous?"
"Well, you must acknowledge now
that you are light-headed."
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-02-12
TURNED CRANK.

Willie--Paw, what is a genius2
Paw.--A genius is a successful
crank, nv son.-New York Sun.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-02-12
CHARACTERISTIC.

Mrs. Payton-Have you ever been
introduced to Mrs. Bloodgoodp
Mrs. Parvenu-Lots of times
Judge.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-02-12
STILL SOMETHING LACKING.

'Ts Scribbles well equipped for lit
erary work."
"Aheml He has plenty of penA
Ink and paper"
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-02-12
OF COURSE.

what a striking-looking man"
"Why not, when he's . pugiist,"
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-02-12

She Gan amateur yacht woman y
Why do you call an old maid "a der
elicit"
He "a sea captain Because she
isn't manned.
Williams news., 1914-07-02
MADE ILL BY DOCS DEATH
Owner Couldn't Sleep for Thinking of Loss of Pet; So He Sues Chief
 of Police. A

Pittsburgh, Pa.-When Chief of Po- lice William Hazlett of Tarentum shot and killed dog owned by John H. Huey, the latter was sorely grieved. So much so, in fact, that he brought suit against Hazlett asking damages to the extent of $35 for the loss of his kyoodle.
 The bill of particulars is couched in terms of endearment for the dead canine, and the claim for damages is based on the following grounds:
 That the loss of the dog has caused Huey much distress and discomfort, and that his health has been impaired because of the death of the canine, as it caused him to lose sleep at nights, and also deprived him of the animals love and affection"
 Huey declared that money cannot assuage his grief, but all things con- sidered, he should be paid for the dog.
Williams news., 1914-07-02
DUST DIDN'T BLIND SLEUTH
New York Detective Secs Man Beat. Ing Rug and Remembers
 Old Theft

New York-Detective Martin Owens of the West Forty-seventh street po- lice station, was walking along West Forty-third street when, on top of the tenement house at 203. be saw Harry Smith, tenant, beating Persian rug. The dust flew out of the rug at a rate that attracted the attention of the de- tective.
 That looks like the rug, by the de- scription, that was stolen from Mrs. Dora Waller of 309 West Forty-third street on October 4, 1912" said Owens to himself, pat as a walking encyclo- pedia of records. Then he went up and arrested Smith and took him and the rug to the station. Later Mrs. Waller identified the rug as her prop erty.
Williams news., 1914-07-02
EXPERTS MUST BUILD ROADS
Explanation of Failure of Authorities Generally to Maintain Roads
 and Streets.

The astonishing results of census taken recently on a secondary thor. oughfare leading out of London showed only per cent of horse4drawn vehicles. The exact count was 15 ve hicles of the latter class te 500 ve- hicles propelled otherwise than by horses. Herein lies both an explana- tion of the failure of public authorities generally throughout the world to maintain roads and streets in good condition. and also presentation ot the difficulties that road constructors now confront.
 A similar example of the extraor. dinary change that has occurred in the use of roads in recent years is that of furniture manufacturing con cern in Easton, which delivers on its own trucks in New York city instead of using the already-constructed steel roads, namely, the railroads. This con cern uses the ordinary roads. A con.
Williams news., 1914-07-02
ENVELOPES ARE VERY SCARCE
Pronghorn Variety Is Being Hunted Nearly to Extinction-Exceed-
 ingly Swift Animal.

Denver, Colo.-It would seem to be something of a feat to climb such a desert boulders as are found in south ern Colorado. The men who climbed those rocks camped for several days at the base of pile of them while on an antelope hunting expedition. The pronghorn antelopes which at one time abounded throughout the great West have been hunted of late years to such an extent that they are becoming very scarce. They are ex- ceedingly swift animals, however, and in a straightaway chase it takes horse of unusually good bottom to enable the hunter to get within rifle range. With the black-powder rifles of 20 years ago, and their range of 25O to 300 yards, there was little danger of the extinction of the antelope, but with the present-day high power smokeless powder rifles with telescope sights, the poor antelope is much more frequent victim. Trusting to his great speed he seems to take delight in keeping "just out of range" and this he could
 do to nicety with the older hunters who carried black-powder Winches- ters, running ahead about three hun dred and fifty or four hundred yards, and slackening his pace most provok- ingly when the hunter slackened his. He seemed to delight in being one of g. party to many wild goose chase" But in spite of his extraordinary vision due to his great telescopic eyes, the antelope apparently cannot adjust
Williams news., 1914-07-02
Doe Antelope Tanned by Ranehman

Doe Antelope Famed by Ranehman. his notions of safety to the much more deadly qualities of the high-power rifle. He will SCOUT across the plain like the wind for a mile or so and then, consumed with curiosity, he will stop and turn to look at the hunter, well within range of the good marks man. The result is that this beautiful animal is becoming scarcer and scarcer, although owing to the vast extent of the desert and semi-desert land in the West it is not probable that it will ever become actually ex- tinct. Possibly, too, in a few more generations of animals the instinct of self-preservation will keep it out of range of even the dynamite guns. The antelope is a true desert type of deer. It never enters the forest and can go for days without water. It has been found at such great distances from water that it had the reputation among some for never drinking, but these failed to consider that the ante lope can easily cover 100 miles in much less than a day.
 Near some of the rock piles in the desert are salt lick, where antelopes and other desert animals come to get the salt.
Williams news., 1914-07-02
Milton Stock,

not a bit better. Stock is better be- cause he is far more aggressive than Shafer was. When Shafer was play ing, third base was the essence of quietness. Now Stock keeps up a continuous chatter. To some this talk appears like wasted energy. It is not It helps to keep the players lon their toes' and that means a scrappy ball club, and a scrappy ball club means the winning of games
 Both in the field and at bat Stock has done as well as Shafer ever did
 He is particularly good at going to his left after hard hit balls. He can throw from any position and generally his throws are accurate. At pocket ing foul balls near the field boxes he is bear" On the whole Stock is a real third baseman, and the Giants will not sigh for "Tilly" Shafer
Williams news., 1914-07-02
NOTES ofMe
 DIAMOND

Catcher Snyder of the Cardinals looks like one of the finds of the sea- son.
 Jack Knight still has to make the rounds of the National and Federal leagues before he retires.
 Washington is first in war, first in peace and first to make a triple play in the American league this season. i
 George Hughes appears to be mak- ing hit as manager at Grand Rapids, judging from the newspaper comment Since the clocks in Cleveland have been moved forward an hour every things faster there except the ball team
 Outf1elder Andy Kyle. who has been knocked about in a good many leagues, has caught on with the Terre Haute team.
 Pitcher Oscar Graham, recently re- leased by Wichita of the Western league, has been signed by Terre Haute.
 Notwithstanding the loss of several of their star players the Phillies have been able to stage some pretty classy contests so far
 Pitcher Lefty Thomas. formerly of Wichita, has joined the Grand Rapids team. He has been pitching indepen- dent ball in Kansas this spring. Manager Larry Schlafy of the Buff | falos attributes the disappointing showing of his team to date to bad breaks" in the training season.
 Philadelphia critics claim that "Stuffy" McInnis. the Athletics first sacker, can travel farther for foul | fly. than any other first baseman in the American league. | Walter Johnson says he never saw such an improvement in club as Frank Chance has shown with the New Yorks in the short year that he has been at the helm.
 While they are changing the land .scape to suit the whims of ball play l CTS, why not move the pitchers slab back to second base when Walter Johnson is on the job? |
 Catcher Chester Thomas of the Red Sox has put his savings into a small farm in the heart of Kansas. where drops of rain are prized like diamonds at certain seasons of the year.
 After several years of rather medic ere work 1t is predicted that Marty O'Toole, the $22.500 beauty, will come through this year and pitch the kind of ball that was expected of him. |
 What handy man Wally Smith is proving himself for Washington. He is not only capable to fill almost any position on the team, but the long lay eye.
 Hughey Jennings has nephew al Washington and Lee College who is fast acquiring reputation as a pitch CT. The youngsters, name is William Hugh Jennings, and he twirls with his left wing.
 Diligent statistician has discovered that Christy Mathewson always wins the game he pitches on his birthday : One doesn't have to be statisticiar } to assert that Christy also wins { whole lot on other persons birthdays
Williams news., 1914-07-02
Anticipation.

One summer I chanced to be back in the ridges of Tennessee" said, United States Senator Blair Lee of Maryland, as he leaned back in his chair. 'and 8 couple of mountaineers got into an argument. High words led to blows, and one of the men was killed. One of the party volunteered to ride on ahead to the dead mans cabin and break the news to the widow.
 "She was seated at a table eating apple-dumplings when the man. rode up.. He broke the news as gently as possible. The woman listened quietly with a dumpling poised in the air half way to her mouth. When the man had finished, she stuffed the dumpling into her mouth and said:
 ' 'You-all jest wait till l finish this hyer dumplin' an then you-all'n hear some hollerin'.'"
Williams news., 1914-07-02
Tankaqe for Hogs.

Tankage is a product of the slangh. tering-houses. It is a prepared food, cooked and steamed, then dried and ground. Because it is so rich in pro tein it is very desirable for balancing farm-raised feeds. It has been dis. covered that using one or two parts of tankage with eight or nine parts of corn not only gives better growth and development to young hogs. but brings fattening hogs to a finish much quick. CT and cheaper.
Williams news., 1914-07-02
MATERIALS IN MODERN ROAD
Hummeistown Pike, Considered Model by Experts, Built by Tel
 ford-M acadam Method.

The Hummelstown Pike, near liar. risburg, Pa, has been considered by experts to be 8 model road. It was built in 1908. using the telford-maca- dam construction; native limestone was used for the telford course. and Birdsboro trap rock for the top. says writer in Northwestern Agricultur- ist
 There are certain sections of this highway that were flooded during a cloudburst, and the top surface which was washed of the road was replaced by grouting with one part cement and two parts sand.
 The road was built nine inches in depth, five inches telford and four in ches macadam course. Shortly after completion there were several surface treatments of light coaltar product, consisting of mixture of water. gas, tar. cement, liquid asphaltum, road oil. carbolic disinfecting powder. sulphate of copper and oil of wintergreen. The sulphate of copper was used to pre- vent the oils from becoming fgntted, and the wintergreen cohnteracted the odors of the others. A curious ef- feet of the mixture was said to be it's disinfecting power, there not being single contagious disease in that sec tion. Unfortunately, however, this does not appear to be lasting. as at this time, four years after it was ap- piled, there is no evidence of this tar product on the road.
 During the last season the main tenance department resurfaced an other section, of this road between Rutherford Subway and Swatara Creek This work consisted merely of placing about four inches of crushed stone upon the old roadbed. and bind ing with sufficient screenings wetted and rolled.
Williams news., 1914-07-02

siderable tonnage is thus transferred from the steel roads. specially con. structed to bear 1t, to the country road, not constructed for any such weight or friction. It has thus come to pass that the science of engineer ing, which was called upon to furnish experts to railroad companies, Is now also called upon to furnish experts to road-building authorities.
 The greater the pressure of ton mage, the heavier the expenditure must be on the structure that is to with stand that pressure, whether 1t be railroad, country road or city street.
Williams news., 1914-07-02
Old Acuuaintance.

A resourceful girl. having danced a pink party frock to ribbons. took what was left of 1t and made won derful lamp shade. The next evening she was entertaining a caller in the soft light and she said to him quite casually: How do you: like my new lamp shade?"
 William regarded it for a moment critically, then he said: The last time saw that shade I danced with if
Williams news., 1914-07-02
STOCK EARNS REGULAR JOB
Young Third Baseman Proves Himself as Good if Not Better Than Shafer
 at the Far Corner.

No longer does yawning gap at third base hover on McGraw's bed post at night. No longer does the vision of retiring Arthur Shafer carry with it roll of bunting labeled fourth pennant." The form of Milton Stock has planted itself in the breath. He has proved that Shafer will not be missed.
 Early form indicates that Stock is at least as good as Shafer was, if
Williams news., 1914-07-02
Enouuh.

Nora was applying for place as cook, and when asked for a reference presented the following:
 ITO whom 1t may concern:
 This is to certify that Nora Foley has worked for us for week and we are satisfied. City Journal
Williams news., 1914-07-02

recently formally that Ennis Rebe Oakes had been Pittsburgh 
   
 
 
  stated will retained Pittsburgh
Williams news., 1914-07-02
uucidIy Explained.

MT Johnsing-Say, MT. Dorman. what am de meaning of dis here line on de ticket whar it says Not trans ferable?"
 MT. Dorman-Dat 7 means, Bre'r Johnsing, dat no gentleman am admit ted unlessen he come hisself.-Ex- change.
Williams news., 1914-07-02

placed anywhere. ss- tracts and kills all
 Aiss. Neat, elsaa, CT namentAl, convanient
 cheap. Lssts all ssAson. Made of metal, ean'tspili or tip over; will not soil os in1ure anything. Guaranteed effective. All dealers ors sent express paid for o1.0. Ave. Brsoklyn. '. '.
Williams news., 1914-07-02
SeIfish ConstItuency.

Are you going to send your con- gressman back to Washington"
 ''No," replied Farmer Corntossef. We've found out that he's such good company that we've decided to keep him home"
Williams news., 1914-07-02
Not Wholly True.

'Is he true poet?" T don't think so. His wife got a di- vorce from him"
Williams news., 1914-07-02
It's Sort.

Did you have fine auto trip?"- T must say, it.. was mostly fine."- Baltimore American.
Williams news., 1914-07-02

brick will produce deep impression thereon.
Williams news., 1914-07-02

Ten smiles for nickel. Always buy Red Cross Bag Blue; have beautiful, clear white clothes. Adv.
Williams news., 1914-07-02
It's Definition

What is a stagewait, par" T know. sis; it's the heavy man. Baltimore American.
Williams news., 1914-07-02

It pays to be honest, but sometimes pay day is late in showing up.
Williams news., 1914-07-02
Schultz to Providence.

SchuItz to ProVIdence. Hugh Jennings released Pitcher Schultz to Bill Donovan's Providence club.
Williams news., 1914-07-02

Occasionally locomotive engineer tanks up and makes his own head light
Williams news., 1914-07-02
The EinaerIess Kind.

Lillian Russell. during recent visit to Atlantic City, was amazed to see the number of slashed skirts that still prevailed on the Boardwalk.
 They must be last springs left overs," she said. =
 Just then young girl in a skirt outrageously slashed at back and front. asked her companion, in pass ing:
 How do you like my new dress? Fits like glove. doesn't it?''
 Fits like a mitt, she'd better say" murmured Miss Russell. with a smile.
Williams news., 1914-07-02
A Coming Man.

Griggs-Then you don't look upon Sharpe as a coming man?
 Briggs-No; but would if was in charge of the penitentiary.-Bosto Transcript.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-01-19

IT HE hod carrier is a man VINO noC
only rises in life but carries
brick building with him.
Atlas cot a good deal of nOtorIety, on ne
because he was supposed to hOId tlLo
world on his shoulders. The bod carrier
goes him one better. He has pam lu ~,
logged most of the buildings OF the "oIiu
I'D a ladder on his shoulders. lie Is
shining illustration of what can De uolIe
by perseverance. The nod carrier uses
a small hod which college strong man
could fill with bricks and carry as
bOqUet. The hOd carrier also moves 50
slowly that the direction in which gle II
moving sometimes has to be Determined
with a surveyors instrument. ana {eU,
when he has finished his work and mas
gone away to annoy a new set OF brick
layers by arriving Just minute too late
with his load. the huge pile OF bricks on
the ground has disappeared and new
building has elbowed its way into Uhe
landscape.
The bod carrier does not need any par
ticular education in his work. what ne
requires is a pair of broad, lndomIta0le
shoulders and a backbone of reinforced
concrete. MANY man to whom the Eng
Hsh language IS a sealed book and VINO
Uses three sYllabled words as II they
were red hot and dangerous can carry
several tons of brick up three flights OF
rickety scaffolding in eight hours with
perfect technique. What is more. he can
support a family of II on the proceeds.
This Is where the nod carrier makes his
nearest approach to genius. Those pros
porous citizens who are slowly worrying
off the excess baggage beneath their
belts over the high price of eggs should
appoint a commission to study the bod
carrier. Barring little kicking now and
then about the high scaffOiding he
doesn't worry about the height of any
thing, but goes right on producing fu
ture congressman and captains of indus
try with OF without the assistance of
the tariff
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-01-19
IA Years Ago Today
From The Herald This Date 1890.

l. 3. Jones, travelling auditor of the
Santa Fe, is in FL PasO.
H. W. Speer left today for New York
city to buy stock for a local clothing
store.
The city taxes are pouring in as fast
as city assessor Smith can write the
receipts.
E, NJ Crozier, operator of the
White Oaks at FL PasO. is away on a
leave of absence.
Frank Powers and Maury Edwards
have returned from the mountains
with several deer.
Harry Z. Dillon returned this morn
ing from Albuquerque. where he went
recently on government business.
Work on the new electric line project
is going steadily ahead and it is
thought that within a few days the
promoters will have advanced suffi-
GENTLY in their plans to make them
public.
Assistant master mechanic Toomey
and superintendent ". R. Martin
examined during the last two days two
g. II. men for promotion They are
Ed. Bess. the fireman. and J. P HOOV-
er, lately made travelling fireman.
Ground was broken today for the
foundation of the new natatOrium, to
be built on the north side of Main
street, facing the plaza. 1t is under
stood that the Bailey brothers intend
to equip a gymnasium in connection
with the natatOrium.
Contract for the building of the In
ternatiOnal Electric Light and Power
cOmpany's plant was let today to Wor-
ley and company. The contract price
IS S433O. The contract requires the
building to be completed by March Is
The plans for the building were
drawn up by architect Krause of this
city.
The stockholders of the FL Paso Real
Estate company, owners of Franklin
Heights, held their annual meeting at
the office of A. P. Coles yesterday
was reelected. They are as follows:
c. ". Williams, president; Charles
ThurlOr vice president; A. p. Coles,
secretary; W. H Long, and R h Hut
ton, with the three officers named,
board of directors.
Mr.. and Mrs. McKinnen entertained
their friends last night at house
party with dancing and music. Among
those present were. Mr.. and Mrs. Max
Weber. Mr.. and Mrs. Geo. Sauer, Mr..
and Mrs. H c. Myles, Mr.. and Mrs.
JacObO BlancO, Mr.. and Mrs. J. P. Ram
say, Mr.. and Mrs. D. B. Smith, Mr.. and
Mrs E. V. Berrien, Mr.. and Mrs. J. A.
Eddy, Mr.. and Mrs. J. T. Williams Mrs
Fox, and Miss Windsor. Messrs. De
GOncier, DOrr, O'COnnOr, Mead, Nc
Gown, Slater, and Irwin.
The offer of the insurance company
of Indianapolis, to loan the Masonic
lodge of this city money with which
to erect a block on its San Antonio
street site, was submitted to the lodge
at a meeting last night The value
of the site now owned by the lodge is
at least $4,000 and is unencumbered.
1t was definitely decided by the lodge
to accept the offer of the insurance
company and a committee consisting of
J. B. Watson, J. P. Dieter, ". S.
McCutcheon, A COurchesne and G. W.
Newell was appointed as a building
committee with power to act