davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1914-03-15

ABE. do you know that Shakespeare
wasn't knee-high TO your said Mrs.
Gregg when 1 had hammered the poem
! out and read it TO her.
He wasn't so very bad
"Mebbe not. but you are ten times bet
| ter. Them young folks will be tickled
| TO death, and il they don't name their
first boy after you I'll turn 'em out of
| the house!'
Two miles away found there had been
another sad attempt at a tragedy because
o. love. Jacob BLY,. farmers hired man,
had beer thrown over by the maid he
loved and he. returns home to go to the
barn and hang himself with a logchain
stout enough to hold up the carcass OF a
horse He was discovered and cut down
and revived just as he was about to enter
St Peters gate and be through with
love forevermore. He wasn't grateful
to the farmer, and when I offered to
write a poem on him the offer was not
received with thanks. l went ahead, how
ever as no frst-class .Ioet will ever miss
a chance at a tragedy, and this is what
appeared on the record. When sung by
quartet there should be sort OF a
wall running through f-sonething like
the vail Of hungry pack ct wolves
when they have driven a country school
ma'am up IA tree, and cant climb after
her:
Said Iacub Bly to Mary High.
tine night when he went sIsrSing:
(Tha nom high in the heavens rode.
And the watchdog he was barkngJ r.
said Jacob BY: oh Mary try
And give me lurT Affection;
IThe sorth wind walled around the ham
With mans ssd infectioEl'
said Jarob BLY,. III ever sigh
For love of fsiret Mary
"A hsInyard hog with hunger snuealel.
But Squealins brought him nsryl
said Jacob BIZ. with fearful eve;
Must I for bore he oSirsr'
THE Jog wss tarking at fpx,
MO Tor hen was tiyinx.l
The Washington herald., 1914-03-15

with whitewash you'li get in trouble and
Jay II all to me. I'll hire man and
see that il is wei done"
How'll ! hay IL tc your sharply >de-
handed Mr.. Bowser.
III don't know. but You will.''
That's all bcshl / never Jay anything
to YOU. shall get into a suit of old
clothes and proceed to whitewssh. Moth
ing win happen. except. that our lives wifi
be rendered more safe for the next six
months ~.
Mrs. Bowser groaned and turned away.
The Washington herald., 1914-03-15

waving their hands and smiling. and the
girl called out:
Mother will be waiting at the gate for
you. Abe
Mrs. Gregg was there. and she had
face as bland as a June morning.
.'Ahe. come right in
:Cant-Pm in u hurry"
You come In or you'n never get an
other cake or piece of mince pie in this
nouse."
The Washington herald., 1914-03-15
HONEST ABE, u. S. M.
His Spring Poetry Begins to Bloom

When started on my route the other
morning ] was told that at least two
demands for my early spring poetry
awaited me down the road. 1 therefore
began TO brush up my muse and make
sure that cat would rhyme with rat
and hat and that.
had gone a mile when Miss Susan
Gregg and Stephen Holt passed me
The Washington herald., 1914-03-15
nv oo0 :.

have trred II the wrrc mas invariably re-
piled:
"veryNnice Of you. 'Lisha: but-I 'rcarIy
wish you had brought some rat i.uls,rI
instead go -
People say tina, I am getting vcr, fn-.
/ getful. but there's an Offset 20 console me
! When my wife asks me for dollar
( can forget the amount she named aid
put her of within Is cents
The good Deacon Goodhuc passed th.
contribution box at our Church last sun
day. and the amount collected for the
heather OF Africa was SIS.Ip. The amount
needed to buy his wife a pair Of shoes 50
that she could have been in church win
! him was s.. The heather ma. nev"i
come to understand how delighted We
are to furnish him with patent feathers
while some OF our family has TO GO bare
foot because he isn't cannibaL
man IN Michigan got drunk and
was SO humiliated over it that he
drowned himself in the river. II h,
had only been a wise man he would
have mixed the water with the whisky
instead of taking them separately. Our
foresight is often defective
hav" known men OF fifty t. d,e
their gray hair and whisker> that the
world might take them for forty. hut
the world didn't do no such thing. II
added hve years to their age and called
them fools besides. The world at large
refuses 1" h" perturbcd over any ones
age. but il doesn't like the Sm~n Of
hair dye,
! not = man the other day who had
u" suggestion to make rs 10 how faith
erS should bring up their sons and
mothers their daughters You will r.
gard this as unbelievable until ! add
mat tn" man was in n lUnatic asylum.
and had been there for twenty years
You read of scores OF men who hav.
made history for future generations
hut what any of them said after kick
ing an April Fool hat off the sidewalk
mas always been carefully suppressed.
The Washington herald., 1914-03-15

And perhaps tn" whole blamed old
house. inside and OUT
Very well
And then Mr.. HowscT turned To Mrs.
BOwscr with n smile of triumph and
said:
There. madam
And he went on {" bed,
The Washington herald., 1914-03-15

The doctor used a stomach pump
The preacher used his voice:
And Steve he said twas ne'er again,
And thus did all rejoice
The Washington herald., 1914-03-15

have tried II the wIrc mas invariably re-
piled
Very nice Of you. 'Lisha. but-I srcarIy
wish yon had brought some rat ,,uIsni
instead >.-r
The Washington herald., 1914-03-15

People say that ! am getting vcry for.
getful. but there's an Offset 70 console me
When my wife asks me for n dollar
can forget the amount she named and
put her of within Is cents
The Washington herald., 1914-03-15

We read that before Noah sailed with
his Ark he drove into it a male and
female of every species Of animal on
earth. As America was not discovered
until thousands OF years later. We used
10 wonder how he got his Coons aud
;possums and skunks 1t was not until
We had been licked hy a Deacon. an
Elder and a Minister that we decided to-
The Washington herald., 1914-03-15

German savant has spent seven years
trying to find cut why the mule Is so
ready TO kick. but hasn't hit the solution
yet Easy as pie. The mule knows that
everybody is going TO kick him. and he
aims TO get in the first bat.
The Washington herald., 1914-03-15

My wife and the wife Of a neishhor
quarreled over the question: should a
young baby he fed apple sass or prunes?''
and they didn't speak to each other for
seven long years. Then u doctor told
them that both had heCn wrong and il
took tn" state "f Massachusetts I wear
after that To get tipped back On level
keel.
The Washington herald., 1914-03-15

! have been told that YOU can jude
a mans character by his whisker
Mebbe IT'S so, but il was an old cha
with venerable whiskers who stole IN
dog: IT was a man with Burnsides VIII
picked my pocket: il was a man with
goatee who highway robbed me. and
was a chap with a mustache that foun
in my house at midnight. ! doubt II yo
can tell by the hair on a dog whethe
he will bite or run.
The Washington herald., 1914-03-15

You read of scores OF men who hav.
made history for future generations
hut what any of them said after kirk
ing an April Fool hat of the sidewalk
has always been Carefully suppressed
The Washington herald., 1914-03-15

One of the best men l ever knew called
a. the house of man who had been
run through cOncrete-mIXer and told
the remains that they looked just as
presentable as II they had been reduced
by pile-driver. II encouraged the VIC
tim to die happily.
The Washington herald., 1914-03-15

When mar has got to feeling that
there is nothing more in life for him.
then he gets even with the rest Of US by
predicting a bliZzardous old winter or n
sizzling hot summer. Dark as the futur.,
may look. there is always one last ho7e.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-09-03

r. w. Turner was forced to lay off
his threshing crew for several days
last week on account of a serious
breakdown in some part of the sep
arator. The necessary extras had
to come from Portland. Mr.. Turn
er would have finished in less than
day when the break occurred.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-09-03

Have you seen that new electric
range at our Office? If not, you
should come up and inspect it at
once. This range is guaranteed to
give perfect satisfaction, and you
will find that electricity is cheaper
than fuel.
HEPPNER LIGHT & WATER co.
The gazette-times. [volume] (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925, 1914-09-03

John Kenny and wife and Jimmie
Kenny spent Sunday in Heppner.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02
POISON OF FATIGUE

Sometimes, after a strenuous day
OF work or worry, when the drawn
face. heavy eyes and listless attitude.
betoken weariness. a friend may in
quire as TO the state OF our health
and the answer. "Oh. all right, just
tired out. Is usually given. Now, ex.
periments have showed that fatigue
causes chemical change in the blood.
resulting In the production OF a poison
resembling the curare poison which
certain savage tribes use for arrows.
Arrow poison. however. is OF yege.
table origin.
When the blood Of tired animal is
injected into the arteries OF fresh
one. the latter exhibits all the symp
toms OF fatigue. II Is here that tired
natures sweet restorer"-sleep and
rest. eliminates the poison OF fatigue
and brings both body aud mind back
to normal conditions
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02
TALES TOLD OF UlSIERMEN
Bull Worthy Of Any One From the
County Of cork-"canny" About
Marriage Fees.

The Ulsterman is not incapable OF
a bull. says the British Weekly II
was an Ulster marquis who endeared
himself to his tenantry by the memor-
able bull uttered in his speech at an
agricultural dinner: Il wish my farm
ers would use iron plows. because
they last forever. and will afterwards
sell as old iron"
II was an fisherman who at a
funeral observed the awkward work
of an unaccustomed hand. and ex.
claimed as he seized a shovel: Il
wasn't seven years counting a sex
toms daughter without learning 20
sod a grave
No matter how large the brides for.
tune, the fisherman generally grum-
bled over the marriage fee.
Wouldn't half crown timpt ye?'
asked a bridegroom OF the officiating
minister when the clerk demanded the
usual five shillings.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02
ANCIENT AFRICAN CUSTOMS

In the fourteenth century when the
African historian lbn Batuta made
his journey across the desert from
Morocco to the Niger he relates how
water was stored in trees by the
people," this custom is still common
in Kordofan TO this day. The tree is
the Banian or Tebeldi tree (Adan-
sonia digitataI;/it is followed out
when necessary. and is in some cases
mended with bricks and cement The
trees are filled up by the Arabs dur
ing the rains, and are a source OF in
come to their owners through the sale
OF bees In hollow trees for the sake
OF the honey. This is a common pra1
tice in the Soudan. where hollow
trunks. stopped with mud. are placed
in trees by the natives with view
OF attracting the bees for the sake Of
their honey.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02
LlFE'S ROAD
smoothed by Change Of Food.

Worry is big load to carry ana an
unnecessary one. When accompanied
by indigestion it certainly is cause for
the blues
But the whole trouble may be easily
thrown of and life's road be made
easy and comfortable by proper eating
and the cultivation OF good cheer.
Read what Troy woman says:
Two years ago | made the acquaint.
ance OF Grape-Nuts and have used the
food once a day and sometimes twice,
ever since.
AT the time | began to use II life
was a burden was for years afflict.
ed with bilious sick headache, caused
by indigestion, and nothing seemed to
relieve me.
The trouble became so severe
had to leave my work for days at a
time
My nerves we're in such a state
could not sleep and the doctor said
was on the verge of nervous prostra-
ton. | saw an adv. concerning Grape.
Nuts and bought a package for trial.
What Grape-Nuts has done for me
is certainly marvellous, can now
sleep like a child, am entirely free
from the old trouble and have not had
a headache in over year, feel like
a new person. have recommended 1t
TO others. One man | knew ate prin-
cipally Grape-Nuts while working on
the ice all winter, and said he never
felt better in his life"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek. Mich Read The Road TO
Wellyille." in pkgs. There's Rea,
SON."
Ever read the above letterf A new
| one appears from time 10 time. They
| tnte1est.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02

This stylish one piece dress has the
popular long shoulder and the vest
which is a novelty. The sleeve Ia
plain and there are small revers
near the neck in front The three
gore skirt has a panel front continu-
ing the lines OF the vest. Serge, chew
lot, eponge and novelty weaves are
used for these suits. with vests OF
the dress material or contrasting
with II.
The dress pattern (e523) is cut In
sizes "a to ~ inches bust measure.
Medium size requires AZ yards OF ~
inch material
To procure this pattern send 10 cents
20 Pattern Departme nt." OF this paper.
Write name and address plainly. and be
sure 70 give size and number Of pattern
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02
A Clue.

tell tales. and he intended to live up to
his teaching, but sometimes it was
hard work
Thornton" said his mother one eve
ming. Il left a dish Of chocolate pep
permints on my table this afternoon
and there isn't one there now. Have
you and Gerald eaten them?"
Il haven't eaten one" replied the
boy stoutly, "but"-then he remem-
bered he must not be a talebearer.
We'll mother" he continued. per
haps, if-you'd better just smell Ger
aid, and guess then you'll know all
about it,"-Illustrated Sunday Maga-
zine.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02

The city OF Hamilton. Ontario--one
of the most progressive In Canada
has been celebrating It's centenary.
and to show what they can do the cit.
izens decided TO build a house In TWEEN.
ty-four hours. And they succeeded not
only In building II, but In plastering
aud decorating II and installing the
furniture within the stipulated time.
Between three hundred and four hun.
dred men undertook the work. which
was carried on throughout the night
by the aid Of arc lamps They started
with an empty piece OF ground, put in
cement foundations with brick fac.
ings. carried on the carpenterlng sim.
ultaneously with the bricklaying-
using a special quick-drying plaster
painted the house with two coats OF
hard white enamel finish, and then in
stalled the furniture. carpets, curtains
aud drnperipa. no detail being over
looked. even ln the attic The build
ing. which is "a by 80 feet outside
measurement may properly be called
one OF four stories. having a basement
FIRST and secoud story and finished at
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02

tic. II contains ia all nine rooms. and
conforms in. every detail to the very
stringent building bylaws OF the city.
SO that there can be no suggestion OF
II being Jerry-built' property When
the house was finished a small charge
was made for admission. each admis-
sion emitting the person to guess at
the number OF beans IN q bottle in the
grounds A young man who guessed
the correct number won the house,
which is worth about $4,000
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02
NARROWING EXPERIENCE.

Good morning. Wiggers."
Good morning Dobbs. How are
your"
I'm not feeling well. had a night
mare last night"
Tell me about It."
81 dreamed | was riding In my own
automobile"
That isn't so bad"
"But this blamed machine wouldn't
tay on the ground and when 1t turned
turtle mile up in the air | woke
bathed in a cold perspiration."
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02

ing good health now and owe it all TO
your remedies. take pleasure in tell
ing my friends and neighbors about
them. Mrs. MATTE HALEY, sol Col
quhone Street. Danville, Va.
No woman suffering from any form
Of female troubles should lose hope un-
Ill she has given Lydia E. Pinkham's 8
Vegetable Compound fair trial. =
This famous remedy, the medicinal
ingredients Of which are derived
from native roots and herbs, has for
forty years proved to be a most valua-
bic tonic and invigorator Of the fe-
male organism Women everywhere
bear willing testimony 10 the wonderful
virtue Of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegeta-
bic Compound.
If you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia +. Pinkham's Negeta-
BILE Compoundwill help you, write
to Lydia T.. E.Pinkhaml Medicine Co.
(confidentiaD Lynn, Mass, for adj
vice. Your letter VIII be opened,
read and answered by woman
and held in strict confidence.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02
Her Wants.

Does your wife want the vote?
"No She wants a larger town house,
a villa on the seacoast, and a new
limousine car every six months. I'D
be pleased most to death II she could
fix her attention on small matter
like the vote. New Orleans Plea
yune.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02
SHIP SAVED BY CRUDE OIL

Crude oil in IT'S tanks limited the
amount OF water which could enter a
steamship when Il struck rocks near
Ceylon and punctured large holes in
It's hull and enabled il to reach port
five days later.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02

mucn DETER ulan 4
did when the doctor
was treating me. |
don't suffer any
bearing down pains
at all now and | sleep
well. | cannot say
enough for Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegeta-
bic Compound and
Liver Pills as they
have done so much
for me. | am enjoy
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02
Rails. Black Foxes in Captivity.

The skin OF black fox Is worth
from IS to $40. and the animals are
now being raised in captivity TO sup
ply the demand for their pelts.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02
Mean.

81 have a very thick head of hair"
Il guess it's the result OF environ.
ment"
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02

This shows a simple style for the
tailored effects, worn so much with
separate skirts. The tucks are in
front only. and the closing is made
with the usual box plat. The collar
can be detachable or form part OF
the waist The sleeve is plain with
tucks near the cum. French flannel.
cashmere, satin and similar fabrics are
used for waists in this style.
The waist pattern (6512) is cut In
sizes "a to a. inches bust measure.
Medium size requires 80 yards OF 27
inch material
To procure this pattern send 10 cents
90 Pattern Department" OF this paper.
Write name and address plainly, and be
sure 10 give size ana number OF pattern.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02

In the Valiants of Virginia there
is no divorce element, no un-
happy marriage, no afinities,
nor persistent drunkenness, but
healthy Americanism and sturdy
virility. Above all else, it is "a
pure love story, notable for its
fine, clean sentiment and its ap-
probation OF the beauties Of
nature.
The Beaver herald. [volume] (Beaver, O.T. [Okla.]) 1895-1923, 1914-04-02
WHAT $40 Did
FOR This WOMAN
The Price She Paid for Lydia
E.Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound Which Brought
Good Health.

Danville. Va 81 have only spent ten
dollars on your medicine and | feel 50
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-08-02
AIco. Tnkc scores.

The Alec team. champions of the Old
Dominion League. continued their win
ming streak when they defeated Ryan
Smith yesterday on the Clark Spring
diamond by the score of to o.
BY dropping two games to tho Alcos.
Ryan Smith have been eliminated from
the post season series. The Alcos will
~ the meantime continue to play. AS
they Will have to defeat the cham
pions OF the Richmond and Capital City
Leagues before they can qualify as
Kichmond's representative team to play
the intercity series with the amateur
champions OF Washington.
flanagan vas selected to perform
1or mis- team. Ryan Smith failed to
get single hit off of him during the
hve innings that he worked. Only five
men reached the initial sack, four from
passes and one on Amos's error. Two
were caught off first by Tignor Elan
nagan famed eleven batters
Rogerson. who relieved FLANAGAN
IN me sixth. also pitched grand hall.
tanning seven and walking one G.
Miller, the last man to face him in the
ninth, was the only Ryan Smith PLAYER
to connect for a hit.
For the Alcos Tignor's catching and
throwing featured next to the pitching
OF Flannagan and Rogerson He ia
credited with sixteen put -outs and four
assist, not Ryan-S Smith base runner
being able to steal base.
The batting honors for the Alcos go
to Tinsley. who secured two doubles
and a single. The fielding Of Cheat.
wood and Quarles featured for the
loosers.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-08-02
Bnrncns Defeated.

BY defeating the Baracas Yesterday.
TO s. the "Deacons" are now tied for
nrst place in league standing. Harrison
pitched good ball for the Baracas. but
the ninth inning he had held the "Dea-
cons to five runs. but in this inning
things began TO happen. Beauty"
Turner flied out. Bethel was safe on
an error, Hughes walked and old Re-
liable lander smashed out a two
base hit. scoring Bethel and Hughes
and winning the game. Irving tried to
Guido himself. both in the field and at
bat Lefty" Scott also put up a nice
helding game. Gentry and Dunning
were the particular stars for the "Dea-
cons" With Zander and Rueger run
ming close second.
The score by innings: RHE
second Baptist iooooo3l.-7 . Q
Barracks ........l D 2 O 0 3 0 0-6 7 3
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-08-02
CABELL OUTCLASSES TEAM
MATES IN WEST END SHOOT

Robert G.. Cabell had his classmates
simply outclassed at the West End Gun
per cent score WAS ono of the best he
has made this season. When he Is
going right he is a pretty hard man
Joe Crenshaw, John 3. Cary and st.
George Anderson turned In good cards
Hammond, Sr. is back In his old form.
and VII be a contender in "A" class
Nelms broke through with another
good score, Charlie Cooke; who has
He cannot complain OF the company
him. They all should have done better.
Hotchkiss. Easiey. Crenshaw and Hart.
the first was tie between Hotchkiss
Easlcy and Hart. Crenshaw being out
shot.
over all Easiey and Hart tied again.
In third H9tchklss went straight. Eas-
shaw blow up The score:
r. y. Hotchltiss, Jr.. As: Robert G.
Ha1nmond. S.. IS; ~ 3: Hart: IS: j. i.
Gary, ~; F; J. ,EiiPpen. az; st: George
Rurssri %; siohn { Esasalsy. ss: gay a
RuoeeT g. S ciar Tary SsePRg7ridi sm ass
Gh a,s p; Cooks, 81; Sam. P Goodloe. as
e John w. s7 r. r. As co.
man. 81: Thos. W. Purcell. SO; Archer
Andereon. Jr., 3S; s. G.. Christian, "a:
j. G. Tignor. 30; DR.. A. Freeman, 80;
Colonel 3. II. Grundy, az; O. F. Grady,
80; sidney Smith. az. William Rueger,
o. gr Is 4Romas a. g.
w. Il. Harris. Is; Robert T. Blbb. 27:
Robert Anthony. rs; T. Arthur Camp.
bell. l9.
Glass lcaders-E. D. Hotchkiss. Jr.,
"A: Robert g: Cabell. 81: Joseph H.
Crenshaw. &C"
Legs on I.umsdcn trophy cup win
ners--J. II. Crenshaw. NJ. D. Hart, J. G.
TiRnor. f.. u. Hotchkiss. Jr.. John b.
Cary. r. 81. Cabeli.
Next shoot "Wednesday afternoon,
August s. at 1870 o'clock.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-08-02

Not day passes but what someone an
nounces his complete recovery from some
lingering blood malady after using S. s. g.,
the famous blood purifier. And these re-
toveries vary from severe forms of eczema
and other skin diseases TO those which at.
tack the deeper tissues causing general
catarrh. chronic tism. glandular
dwellings and Mi sorts OF painful. distress
Ing and eruptive conditions Of the blood
The action OF s. S. .. Is entirely In the
blood as 1t Is not mere laxative not a
dope" for the nerves. contains no miner.
ais OF any sort. Is acceptable TO the weak
est stomach and Is always the same force.
full influence. Its properties are such that
unlike most remedies the system never re-
ststs It's action but welcomes it. Thus
from the time 1t is hrst used until com.
plete recovery IL Is the same dominating
force In the blood and cannot produce any
other than a most beneficial effect and
continuous curative tendency. Where the