The Washington herald., 1914-05-31
YOUR UNCLE LISHA
Says Some Things Worth Paying Heed To.
Yes, Justice In blind, but it's the other
feller's lawyer that has his eyes open.

Yes, Justice is blind. but it's the other
fellers lawyer that has his eyes open.
I am not an alarmist, but ! wish to
say that the world is certainly growing
better. Ny last ton Of coal weighed 1.soo
pounds.
There is policy In being kind to your
neighbor. The day may come when your
mule will have q sore heel. and you'll
want some one to apply the hot tar
while you stand back and boss the Job.
Man brings most Of his troubles upon
himself. II he will stand up In a street
car apd ask IL any one really believes
that DR.. Cook discovered the north pole
he must be prepared to take what 3
coming to him.
have given 1t up. I argued for half a
day and finally convinced a man that
there In . hereafter. but that night he
stole horse and made of. After being
arrested he explained that he didn't want
to hoof 1t around when he got up there.
1 sometimes think that I am the only
man In the country that never lied about
the size Of the fish that broke his hook
and got away from him. Perhaps. how
ever. 1t 10 because I never went fishing
In my life.
Something like 5o.ooo.ooo cows switch
their tails for twelve hours per day
for at least q hundred days in the year.
and yet no living man ever saw the
remains of q fly that had been killed
by the switching. Do the cows think
they will get him at last?
While / was at a poker club one
night some one came and raided my
hen coop and stole six of my chickens.
Deacon Darby said II was . judgment
upon me. The next night attended q
prayer meeting. and some one came
and stole the rest Of my flock. This
time Deacon Darby simply said
|-um! 1 don't say :hat it's an even
thing between poker and a prayer
meeting. but not hen has ever re-
turned.
When 1 had q carbuncle on the neck
s. .0o0. .0o0. 900, 900 men had lived and died
since the time of Adam was quite con-
soled. I realized that a dozen or two
out OF that number must also have got
II in the neck.
You are an honest man. said 10
Farmer Jones when he heaped the
measure up.
Farmer Jones, you are a rascal"'
I said when I got home and found a
false bottom in the measure by which
he had beaten me by two quarts.
then had to steal his ak to get even.
There is no language spoken on
earth without II contains at least fif-
teen swear-words, and some forty or
nifty. The men of old knew what
would be needed by the later comers
and provided for it. II the man driv-
ing oxen couldn't yell. BY heck
what would he do?
The Eskimo has 1t that Abel killed Cain,
and then his father turned TO and killed
him. You pays your money and you
takes your choice, but the price of
string-beans will ever remain the same.
1t may also be stated that the Eskimo
will be waiting to greet US up there.
Such a trifle as a mix-up of identities is
not going to keep him out
1t Is well that every man have some
thing to look forward to. Just now !
am looking forward to the day when
can make the last payment on ssoa
worth of furniture bought on the in
stallment plan. II / live Us years, I
think / can do it.
One day I we-t to a lawyer and said
Smith owes me s. borrowed money and
won't pay"
Have you got proofs?" he asked
Oceans of it,
Then sue him.
What will be your feeT
About S20."
But"
'Oh, you must look at the principle