The Washington herald., 1914-01-13
Slates.aea, Real anl Near.
~ rREp c KEILY.

BY FRED c. KELLY.
|. Listen now to the tale about the plain
American citizen who talked right up to
George Bernard Shaw and chased hin,
/; out ON a conversational limb.
/ The plain American was Samuel p
Orfh. professor Of political science at
! Cornell University. and the verbal bout
took place In London at the close of A
meeting of the Fabians. which In an
association OF the highbrow Socialists Of
England
orth dropped In for the purpose Of get
ting acquainted with Shaw. out of curios-
ity. and introduced himself
Not long before that Shaw had mads
a caustic attack on American patriotism
In one Of his articles. and Orth in pre-
senting himself jokingiy said: =
I'm an American who loves my coun-
try"
"zr-h-hr' srowied Shaw savasely and
In loud voice. What do you mean
when you say you love your country,
What has your country ever done except
worship the golden calf with a nasal
| twang? Tell me what you have pro-
duced? II you produce a man of marked
artistic or literary ability he must sink
to mediocrity to make a living. II you
produce great sculptor or painter hs
must go to Europe to live and get the
European hall mark on his work before
| IL Is marketable at home. You had
Whistler. but he had to live in England
because no one knew enough TO buy his
work In America You only know the
value Of money as IL adds TO luxury ana
not to refinement. Your criterion Of
worth Is bignsss instead of quality. Why,
your very independence was won by get
| ting another nation to help you fight
| Then you go about blatantly boasting
| about your love of your country and
waving the stars and stripes in every
body's face. Why don't you do some
thing first and boast afterward?'
For a moment Orth was almost taken
on his feet. What made it all the worse
was that some of what Shaw had said
was true. And then Shaw's face Is
| enough to scare a stranger half to death.
He has long red eyebrows that he puts
\ up In papers at night. a fiery red pointed
beard, and a glittering. colorless eye-the
sum Of which makes him look like the
Old Harry himself.
/ As soon as he had caught his breath,
Orth replied quietly:
! mo; America has never produced any
4 thing. We have never produced a nation
! that sells opium to China to despoil a
| civilization older than our own; we do
not SIMULTANEOUSLY rob India that We
| may live even more sanctimoniously in
the West End OF London; neither do Ye
|
| cargoes of missionaries and rum. We do
not close UP at half past twelve o'clock
and on Sunday in order to provide a
| cloak OF darkness for our vices. We are
not a nation that ceases oppression only
| when compelled to. Remember that you
never treated any colony decently until
America showed you how. And, worst
OF all. We are not people that have
ever produced A G. Gerhard Shaw"
| Il. lal -.
likes best those who rebuke and browbeat
! him.
Come on" said he to Orth. in a sub
dued tone, lets sit down and have a
chat"
When Louis Ludlow, well-known
| Washington correspondent, was working
| as young reporter in Indis napolis some
| years ago, he was assigned to do the
| death watch on a prominent citizen
who was expected to die at almost any
hour. The mans obituary had been pre-
pared, and all that was lacking was
brief bulletin OF the exact time of his
death. Arrangements had been made by
the attending nurse to place a signal ir
| an upstairs window of the home where il
| could be seen by the reporters across the
| street For three nights, Louis Ludlow
and the other reporters stood about wait
| appear. and it was desperately tedious.
| tiresome job. On the fourth night. Louis
made up his mind to get some inside in
4 formation about the case. II the man
had rallied and was going to live until
morning, he did not intend TO waste all
night looking for the death signal Sc
| he slipped away from the others and
went to the house. He insisted on seeing
! the grief-stricken wife of the dying man.
They told him that would be impossible.
but Louis explained that it was of the
utmost Importance, and finally she came
in TO see him.
I I'm very sorry to trouble you" stam-
mered Louis, ''but-er-uh-is there any
, hope OF your husband dying tonight?''
Henry T. Rainey. member of Congress
: from Illinois, lives on a big farm when
: he's at home. and often has trouble OBJ
tanning good help. Some time ago he en-
ployed a Swede who seemed 10 have little
or no superstitions against work. but
toiled from early morn to set OF sun.
Moreover, he seemed contented and
| happy. and Rainey was not a little
pleased But out of a clear sky one day
came the mans resignation. He said
| that he desired to quit at once.
And what's the matter" was Raineys
natural inquiry.
| Well" said the man, When l came
here you promised me steady work the
year around, but last night l didn't have
thing TO do for three hours"
Copyright. 1915. by Fred c Kelly. AL ashts rc-
| serei.)