Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-11-07

THERE is some relief in hearing
that Tsing-Tau has finally decided to
come in out of the dampness.
MEXICANS are again threatening
to drive Funston from Vera Cruz.
While this is getting to be an old joke
any red blooded American can still
pull a laugh out of 1t.
UNCLE Joe Cannon is growing SEN
sitive in his declining days. He has
Just sued a Danville paper for $4,000
for printing an alleged libel about him
during the recent campaign.
GENTLEMEN, meet Mrs. Frances
Munds of Yavapai county, Arizona.
She's Arizona's first woman state SEN
ator. She won at this weeks election
as 4 democratic candidate, leading the
entire ticket.
ACCORDING to last Tuesdays re-
turns, Arizona is dry. Always has
been pretty much that way, if we re-
member correctly.
MR.. Feather ran for congress on the
prohibition ticket in Michigan. Yes,
his vote was very light
ALL the time you spent porting over
your first Biography learning to spell
Con-stan-ti-nople has been wasted.
Now it's Tzargrad. The Russians have
so decreed.
CONSTANT reader asks what we
think of a Michigan man of 80 years
who has just married. We think he
is d. o. f.
THE VALLEY CLARION.
Our folks have decided they want a
new co. Jail, they having voted in
favor thereof on cleo. day. Those of
us who have been inside the pres.
struc. can testify to the crying need
of a mod. bldg.
J. Carse, pres. of the Cheese club,
has been RECALLED with fresh honors,
mil. this time, he, unsolicited, being
made an aide on the staff of the chief
com. of the U. S. w. V.
We were consid. disappointed in
our pop. atty, J. Witter, as a pol.
prophet, he officially declaring at the
18th hr. that the b. m. ticket was to
some of our cash away in backing
his judg.
B. Sunday, according TO the latest
info, if he does dec. to come, will not
invade these pts. for yr. or more.
That will give plenty of time for our
village devils to sow their wild oats.
Many of our best mer folks cut up
right smart at our club on cleo. MT,
while reading the returns and enjoy
ing b. Butterworths pictures of Eur
ope, he taking same while on jour
ney across the W. k. Atlantic.
Our C. Scientists are coming along
fine with their new church. 1t is be
ginning to look as though it might be
right comic. place to worship.
Our boys were an agree. disap. on
Halloween. Outside rubbing soap on
windows, some of which needed it, no
dam. was reported up to press time.
Our congressman whiled the wk. I
away in our midst and seemed pleased
with the recep. he got, espec. that of
Tuesday.
All our cts. are indebted 10 F. Nuel- /
Ter for the way he gave us cleo. re-
turns Tuesday Mt, same being flashed /
from a brand new machine that f.
secured for that occasion and for the
future. The figures were throwa on .
the R. l. house and were legibla even .
to those shy an eye.
Many of our folks were seen i'll the /
1000 blk. Sat. mt, there being singing
and such to entertain. This blk. keeps
coming right along.
with nothing more serious than dis
appointment to those that failed TO
land at the top of the heap. We .never
knew of an cleo. yet where somebody
didn't have to get licked.
The Hypnotized Reporter.
(Waterloc, Iowa, Times-Tribune)
A Times-Tribune reporter had that
rare privilege yesterday afternoon. He
had previously seen her in the films;
he had seen her on the stage. But
not until he met and talked with her