The Butler County press. [volume] (Hamilton, Ohio) 1900-1946, 1914-03-13
SENDING A PARCEL BY MAIL.

Experience of an English Tourist Who,
With Joyous Confidence, Undertook
to Perform What Was Supposed to
BE Perfectly Simple Operation.
In all innocence and lightness of
heart | set out one morning to send q
small parcel to England from the town
In Germany where | was staying. AT
the postoffice | was confronted by
three booking Office windows. each
having weird and formidable inscrip-
ton over It, These inscriptions were
not to be comprehended at glance;
SO, not wishing to gaze up at them too
long. | selected the least crowded win
dow and handed over my parcel II
was promptly returned to me with Il
curt go to the next window" 1t
was just that window specially wish
ed to avoid. being the most crowded,
but ] waited my turn and then made
another attempt. The official looked
at me sternly.
Have you the circulars?" he asked.
No | replied family.
He handed me three circulars, for
which | had to pay q small sum and
which was requested to fill up. Pick
ing up my parcel. | sat down to study
those circulars. They We're covered
with instructions. the language used
was magnificent. and the effect was
SO overwhelming that | found it diff
cult to grasp what was instructed
tn do If NV oDarS ryoro not 6Ilnd nm
accurately ii was not from untruthful-
ness, but owing to my limited German
vocabulary.
By the time l had described the
parcel, the gross weight thereof In
grams and Kilograms. the gross
value thereof in marks and pfennigs
and given detailed description of
each article contained therein. with
it's separate weight and value. felt
like an old inhabitant of that postoffice.
l had seen, as it We're, generation after
generation of stamp purchasers come
and go. and still | remained. As to
the weights, my idea of Kilograms
was about on Il par with my knowl-
edge of definite integrals However, |
did my best. ] guessed at the prob
able weight Of the parcel and divided
the articles into it,
At length | came 60 the end. and.
feeling like a candidate at an exam
ination. ! gathered up my papers and
the parcel and went over to the win
dow After waiting my turn handed
over the papers The official glanced
at them. then at the parcel. and
frowneds
Did you weigh the articles?" be
asked sternly.
"Yaa-ar' | stammered
Then go home and weigh them
again. You have put them down at
half tom
There was no help for it. With a
sigh gathered up my papers and
went back to a secluded corner After
patiently reducing all the weights
again presented the papers. This time
they were passed. and | was sent on
to the next department. where | had
to purchase and fill up another docu.
ment | was now getting into form,
and this paper was soon dealt with
Then, with my heart beating fast [
handed over the parcel. 1t was once
more returned to me- The official said
he could not take it in that condition
1t was insecurely made up.
Now, If there is one thing upon which
| pride myself it is upon the neat way
In which turn out a parcel So
smothering my Indignation as well as
/ could, / assured him that it would
be all right that it was perfectly safe
and that there was nothing In it which
was breakable. He repeated firmly
that it was insecure and that he could
rot take 1t. So sadly collected my
papers and the parcel and went home
to dinner.
spent all the afternoon trying to
purchase cardboard box of exactly
the right proportions and some water
proof cloth TO wrap round it. | next
procured stick of sealing wax and a
German seal. and by the time l had
finished that parcel looked as If it
were prepared to travel to the north
pole.
II WAS now SeIllUS toward evening,
and l was feeling wearied after my
days work, SO besought my brother
"a willing. guileless youth-to take it
to the postoffice He took it so inno-
Gently that my conscience reproached
me for not having given him word
OF warning. He was long time gone.
but that was to be expected. When
| saw him come in my heart sank Ia
despair
"They won't take it like this" he
said cheerfully.
/ groaned and asked:
why not?'
There's not enough sealing wax
on it."
Not enough sealing wax?' | cried
incredulously
mo. You must put blob wherever
the string crosses and wherever there's
knot"
In desperation ! seized the sealing
wax and worked away until | had
used 1t to the last speck and the par
eel was one intricate mass of string
ard way Than | cOnypVad III once