The weekly times-record. (Valley City, N.D.) 1912-1922, 1914-01-22
OLD GoRDoN's
UMBRELLA
By N. QUAD

By NJ. QUAD
Copyright, 1918, by Associated Lit
II erary Press.
Jonas Gordon. who was generally
spoken Of as old Gordon, lived in the
village of Wayne and had got to be
, sixty-five years old. He had daugh-
ter. who was his housekeeper. and she
was engaged to young carpenter
named Henry Billings.
All went we'll till the old man deeid-
ed to build hog pen.
To build hog pen you must have
lumber and nails. Both we're to DO
had in the village. but when that point
was reached the old man cried out:
mo, stree! The last pound of nails
l bought Of Smith he was three nails
short. and the last lumber bought Of
Jones there were seven knots in one
board. I'll show 'em that I'm not to be
swindled. Take the horse and buggy
and drive over to Acton and get what
we want"
1t was seven miles to the town
named. but Henry took the ancient rig
and set off cheerfully. In the back Of
the buggy and unknown and unnoticed
by him was the tragedy. 1t was an
old bingham umbrella. Just how old
it was there was no authentic record,
but old Gordon had time and again de-
clared it was the verttable rain she'd
der carried over the head of General
Washington when be crossed the Della
ware.
Old Gordon wasn't church member,
but he attended the Methodist services
regularly and was prompt with his
pew rent. On one occasion the minis
ter doubted the age and adventures Of
that umbrella. and for the next two
years he lost the attendance of the
owner and $50 year pew rent.
Henry Billings pursued bis way to
the town Of Acton with all the inno-
cence of an unshorn lamb. On arriv-
ing there he hitched old Dobbin to q
post and went to see about the lum-
Der. A stray COW was wandering about
the streets. and the idea came to her
to investigate the buggy. There she
found the umbrella. She had never
tasted bingham, and she took a GIN
gerly bite. 1t was good. She hauled
the article out of the buggy and was
chewing the remains Of it when Hen
~ returned. Not knowing the pres
ence of the umbrella, he did not chide
the COW. nor did he pick up the ribs
and handle and carry them back. He
drove home whistling and was proceed
ing to tell what a hog pen bargain he
had made when the father Of his loved
one rummaged in the back end Of the
buggy and cried out:
"Where in smoke is that umbrella"
"Wwhat umbrella"
my umbrell."
II haven't seen it."
"You are a liar! 1t was in the back
end of the buggy. always keep it
there to keep it from the rats. Where
is it,"
"Why. over at Acton l saw COW
chewing the rags Of an umbrella. but
1t didn't occur to me that
"Oh. it didn't!' shouted the old man.
well. femme tell you that something
else will occur to you right here and
now! Don't you ever darken my door
again!" ....
OF course young Billings could not
force his way into the house against
the wishes of the father. Every one
predicted an elopement. but none came
of. The lovers met at intervals for
minute outside the house. but both
thought it better to wait for the old
man to wear bis crouch out. More
than year had passed, and he show.
ed no sign Of giving in, when tin
peddler came along one day who knew
Billings and said:
III you were smart you'd have had
the knot tied long ago."
you know the old man. do you, and
how sot he Is in his ways?"
"I'll bring the old man around as
slick as grease II you'll invest S."
ITS gor'
The peddler was in Acton the day of
the tragedy. He had picked up the
handle and ribs Of the umbrella. cal.
culating to have a new cover put on.
1t took him a week, calling from house
to house. to find housewife with a
piece of old gingham thrown away In
the garnet, but be found it and had q
cover made of it.
One day the peddler drove up and
said to old Gordon:
II haven't come to ask you to buy
tinware. but it's case of conscience"
II don't believe it!' was the gr0uchy
reply.
II stole your old umbrella out of tho
buggy at Acton"
by thunder!"
II am a great admirer Of Washing
ton and wanted souvenir of him. but
my conscience won't let me keep what
l stole. Here It is"
by John. but it's her, exclaimed
the old man as he received and inspect