Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1914-09-19
If You Had to
Live Over Again

of course, | should he. So | blithely
plighted my troth to John, and we
started 70 housekeeping in a birds
nest apartment, where | was as hap
py as the day is long
Before six months rolled around,
however, John came home one day
and announced that he could no long
er endure the grinding tyranny of the
man he worked for, and that he had
thrown up his job. | was Mortified,
but he took the matter most casually,
and seemed actually relieved. Fur
thermore, inasmuch as he wasn't at
work, he took occasion to go off on a
hunting expedition, which he enjoyed
10 the fullest, notwithstanding that
cur supply Of money was running low.
When he came home goaded TO it
by my being so frantic at his being
out of work. ne made few tentative
efforts 10 get situation. He didn't
succeed, of course because in these
days of strenuous competition a man
has 10 go after a job as II his life
depended on it, not seek it in lacka-
daisical amateurish way. as if he was
afraid that ne would get IT,
after one of these aimless rambles
seeking a situation, John would come
home by noon, eat whatever lunch |
had been able 10 scrape together. and
playing solitaire and reading the pa
per.
At length, in desperation, I went
out and got him a place myself. but
he only kept If a little while. This
was the beginning of many such ex-
periences No job was attractive
enough to hold him for long He
would start off with great enthusiasm.
but in a little while his energy would
wear itself out. and then it would be
the old story. Some night he would
come home with the announcement
that he had given up his place be-
cause he was prosecuted in the office,
or the superintendent was unjust to
him, or the work was uncongenial-
any old excuse eXcept that ii was his
own fault, and that he lacked the grit
to stick to task after the novelty
had worn ont and to keep on working
after it got to be work, and not play.
ut takes lot to kill a woman's
faith in the man she loves, and al
with fear. | shut my eyes and refused
to face the fact that | had married
a man who was too weak and self
indulgent to do thing that was hard,
and who had a bad case of just plain,
old-fashioned, genuine, bred-in-the-
bone laZiness and no-accountness.
In the meantime we had, of course,
been getting poorer and poorer.
had sold my best rug and my ret set
of furniture that had been bridal pres
ents to me, to buy John clothes so
that he might present a decent ap-
pearance when he went on his fruit
less quests for work. I, myself, had
no clothes except the old gowns and
hats given me by my more fortunate
relatives. and | writhed under their
gifts. under the humiliation Of the
situation, for John was big and strong
and healthy and intelligent, and there
seemed no possible excuse for his
sinking into the class of ne'er-do-
wells.
AT last the browning humiliation
of woman's life was mine. | had to
20 back to my people, to be taken
care of by them, to be burden on
them, to be pitied and spoken of as
poor Fanny" whose husband
couldn't support her. Worse still. John
went with me. He had TO be support
ed. too, because he couldn't make "a
living
Il stood this hideous nightmare Of
dependence for two years, waiting,
hoping, praying for my husband to get
out and 90 something, and show that
hA Npfa 70 elcr.A
him TO work, TO jolly him into it, to
hold him in job when he got one,
but it was no use. He would always
give it up and come back sure that
somebody would give him three square
meals a day.
Il had always had talent for sew
ing. a turn for making dresses. and so
finally, because | felt that | would
rather die than he dependent any
longer, | took my courage in both
hands and started out to make a liv-
ing for myself.
Il went TO a distant city. and John
went with me. | literally worked day
and night, and eventually | built up
big business that has made me rich.
| have ceased 10 be a dTessmaker and
am now an artist. and people pay for
my touch on a gown and point TO me
as an example of what woman can
achieve.
And in all these years I have sup
ported John. who is just man enough
to no Inundated at the position in
which he is situated. but who was not
man enough to bring about a differ
ent situation. Therefore, he takes out
his hurt pride in hating me. while he
eats the cakes and ale that ] provide.
II don't know that | blame him for
his attitude toward me, because my
weakness was. in way. accessory be-
fore the crime of his utter failure in
life.
IF had to go back and live my
married life over again, on the day
when ! realized that ne was lazy I
should turn him out of the house and
say to him as the Spartan women Of
old did to their sons. Come back with
your shield, or on it.
II should say: If you were sick or
afflicted, I would work my fingers 10
the bones TO take care of you, and
fh1nly ODD he NJ JAtp