davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
UNCONSCIOUS HUMOR

Gathered by the Boston Transcript. man of small capital and ability"
 Hortonsville News: Susie Bump slipped on an icy spot Sunday and fell.''
 Rogers Daily Post: "On account ot moving will sell one good COW giving milk and some corn"
 Beloit Daily News: For sale, 20 chick, ems, stone color, guaranteed to lay fresh eggs"
 Connecticut paper: Wanted, steady respectable young man to look after gar. den and care for COW who has a good voice and is accustomed to sing in the choir"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
NO WARNINGS FOR BACHELoRs

Guy de Maupassant: Advice of an el- derly man to youth who casts admiring glances on pretty girl on a Seine boat)
 Monsieur. when winter comes, with it's cold, yet and snowy weather, your doctor says to you constantly: Keep your feet warm; guard against chills." . But when spring returns with its leaves and flowers, it's warm, soft breezes, and it's smell of the fields, causing you vague disquiet and &auseless emotion, nobody says to you:
 Monsieur, beware of love! It is lying
 in ambush everywhere; it is watching for you at every corner. Beware of love! It is more dangerous than brandy or bronchitis Yes, monsieur, I say that the government ought to put large public notices on the walls with these words; Return of Spring. Citizens Beware of Love just as they put Beware of Paint
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
The Foreign Egg Problem

Wholesale egg dealers and cold storage operators are completely non plused in their efforts to gauge the effect of the importation of Chinese and European eggs upon the prices that may prevail next winter, and the embarrassment of the situation is en- hanced by the fact that now is the season when the storage of eggs com mences.
 It is the custom of the trade to be- gin the purchasing of eggs in the early spring, when they are plentiful, and thousands of crates enter the storage houses to supply the cold weather consumption. The price paid is 20 cents a dozen and sometimes a fraction higher, but it is claimed by the commission men that the expense of handling, candling, storage and other incidentals runs the price up to at least 30 cents dozen. The period for the releasing of the storage eggs commences the first week in October.
 The enactment of the new tariff law has deluged the country with eggs from Europe, but so far their inferi- ority in quality to the domestic prod uct has caused but small diminu- tion in prices in the home market. During the past few months, however, China has entered the field of com
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
SPORTY YEARS AGO.

Anonymous.
 I've. wandered to the village, Tom, I've sat beneath the tree, Upon the sohoolhouse playground.
 That sheltered you and me; But none were theer 70 greet me, Tom And few were left to know Who played with us upon the green,
 Just 40 years ago. The grass was just as green, Tom, Barefooted boys at play Were sporting, just as we did then With spirit just as gay. But the master sleeps upon the hill
 Which, coated OCT with snow. Affording us a sliding place,
 Some 40 years ago. The schoolhouse is altered some, The benches are replaced By new ones, very li:ze the name
 Our jack-knives had defaced, But the same old bricks are in the wal> And the bell swings to and fro, It's musics just the same. dear Tom. Twas 40 years ago. The spring that bubbfed meath the hill Close by the spreading beech Is very low; twas once so high
 That we could scarcely reach; and kneeling down to take a drink
 Dear Tom, I started SO. To think how, very much I've changed
 Since 70 years ago. Nearby that spring, upon an elm,
 You know I cut your name, Your sweetheart's just beneath 1t. Tom, And you did mine the same. Some heartless wretch has peeled the bark
 Twas dying sure. but slow. Just as she died whose name you eat There 40 years ago.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

"HE most complicated murder trial
 of any that has thus far been held
 in the United States was that of Herman Mudgetts. who had adopted the assumed name of H. 1T. Holmes. The first that was heard of this famous con vict was when he was arrested, on Nov ember 19. 1894 together with Mrs. Carrie Pitezel and Jepthiah D. Howe. for par ticipating in a fraudulent life insurance scheme.
 This apprehension was the start Of a revelation of illegitimate schemes in which he had figured in many parts of the country. Once an investigation was started cities in many sections of the United States in which Holmes had lived began looking up his records and tried to fix number of crimes of various character upon him.
 The house which Holmes occupied in Philadelphia was located on Callowhill street near Broad, where lived the Pite- gel family, for the murder of the head of which he was finally convicted and hanged. In the fall of 1894 the two little Pitezel children had disappeared from the Callowhill street house and no satisfac- tory explanation of thsT whereabouts was obtainable. until finally their bodies were discovered buried in a cellar in Toronto, Can. This was in July of 1895. It was found that the children had been smuggled in a trunk supposed to have belonged to Holmes
 Detectives found that Holmes, with two little girls, registered at a Toronto hotel on October IS, 1894 When this be- came known Holmes was In prison in Philadelphia, charged with scheme to defraud an insurance company. The finding of the children's bodies led to a. graver charge against him. It was the belief of the police that his object was to do away with the whole PitezeI fam fly, that he had killed the husband and that he was apprehended before he had a chance to kill Mrs Pitezel During the middle of July the detectives left no stone unturned to weave a rope that would hang Holmes.
 In the meantime, the police of Chiea go were working up evidence against Holmes in that city, and on July 24 they found almost an entire skeleton buried in inc house he occupied there number If other mysterious murders ccurred in Chicago with every evidence Of their having been committed by Holmes.
 The last act in the melodramatic life of Holmes started with his being brought
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
ToMMoRRow-TRIAL OF JOHN BUNYAN

tie money came from Uncle Lot Ben- ton, the good angel of the Beecher fam fly. With it young Lyman bought the cotton; his wife, Roxana, spun it. had it woven, and painted it over in oil colors. with gay border round the edge, and groups of flowers in the center
 When the new carpet was laid down, the people were astounded at the mag nifcence of the past.r.- parlor. Good old Deacon Tallmadge. coming one day, stopped at the door, afraid to enter.
 Walk in deacon," sald the pastor
 T can't" he answered, 'thout step- rin' ont. Dye think, he added, in won- doring admiration, ''ye .,an have all that and heaven, too?r
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
Cx Warmnn,s Death

The announcement of Cy Warmans S death, which occurred in Chicago Tues day after a protracted illness, was re- ceived in Birmin gham with sincere sor- row by many friends. The deceased was known as the Poet of the Rockies. D He was the author of Sweet Marie'' and other songs of wide popularity.
 MT. Warman's daughter. Mrs. Victor l.. McRae, is resident of Fairfield, and it was only last Christmas that the distinguished writer was here on a visit to his son-in-law and daughter Among his close friends in the Bir- mingham district was Dr. Burr Fergu- son.
 The dead author was born in Illinois in 1855. His wife, Myrtle Marie Jones, was the original of the song, Sweet Marie" He had travelled widely and was known in literary circles through out the world. Last year he was pres ident of the American Humorous Par agraphers association and was an es- teemed member of other literary so- cieties.
 q was sorely distressed to hear of my friend Cy Warmans death," said Dr. Ferguson. "He was one of the most brilliant and versatile men have ever known. He had visited Birming- ham twice, and each time added many good friends to his circle of acquaint- ance. On the occasion of his last visit MT. Warman read to those of us who happened to be with him a poem en- titled The Tiger It is yet to be pub : lished and according to my judgment. is the best of all his verses. It is a singularly fine poem. After leaving Bir- mingham MT. Warman sent book of poems to several ladies prominent in our social life and in each book he had penned an original stanza with his com pliments"
 MT. Warman's remains will be taken to London, Ont, for burial.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
LIFE
From Harper's Weekly.

VfTf Ttf NteKfy.
 In certain of its essential aspects. a madhouse; in others, a pageant: in still others, a commonplace succession of humdrum incidents. At times you are quite sure 1t is all a gray monotony: again it begins to arise and spread it. self like an Arabian night. And the un- expected breaks loose-a series of strange encounters. flashes of vivid color, bright eager personalities jostlinS and strutting in excess of vitality.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
ovERwoRKED CHICAGO CITIzEs

In Chicago the overworked citizen has to vote for IA different public officials. and the objection to this cumbersome proceeding is approximately a revolt. No human being. it is claimed, can keep track of the candidates for these posi- tions and choose from them intelligent ly This is too true to be argued about and Chicago is entitled to relief. The average man can hardly keep track of the batting records of IA big league base ball players, let alone the records of IA public officials.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
A Fine Trihute

One of the finest tributes to Mr. Underwood from northern source was contained in anreditorial in the Buffalo Evening News of Monday-the day of the primary election" said James F. Slater
 After portraying, Congressman Hob son in disparaging terms the editor of the Buffalo paper says: On the other hand, MT. Underwood is beyond ques- tion the strongest mind. the sanest statesman, the most trustworthy leader that his party has developed in a gen eration.
 One can hardly recall out of the past 50 years a man from that section of the country who has proved to have so much of solid ability, such fund of practical information. such thorough ex- perience and such poise of faculty as Oscar Underwood.
 Tt is only natural that he should be the favorite son of the south for the presidency itself and it is more than probable that he will be the first man from the south to be put on a national ticket since 1S60' tE ..,..s
 While Woodrow Wilson is southern born and was reared in the south he en- tered political life from New Jersey, where he had long resided"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
MEANING OF .NEpENTHEv

From the Memphis Commercial-Appeal.
 A correspondent asks for the meaning of the word "nepenthe' in Poes famous poem of "The Raven
 Nepenthe. according to the dictionary means "a kind of magic potion supposed to make persons forget their sorrows and
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

King George and Queen Mary cast a damper on every vaudeville show they attend. Suggest that the King and Queen disguise themselves as costermongars. so the artists and artistes won't feel so self-conscious
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

machine that prints, gums, perfo- rates, counts and coils postage stamps. eliminating 19 of the 21 processes now necessary to do this work has been ex- hibited to government officials with the hope of having it installed in the bureau of engraving and printing. This ma chine will turn out 3,5O0,O0O stamps a day and it is estimated that if 10 such machines were installed they would fur nish all the stamps needed by the post office department, saving $240o0O a year B. R, Sticlney, the inventor of the ma chine, is a mechanic in sAe bureau Of en- graving and printing It Is hoped that funds will be availabse July 1 to put eight of the machines in operation number of employees wils be deprived of work they formerly did, but win prob ahly be otherwise provided for. Coiled stamps are now used entirely for affix- ing and stamp vending machines, but they are said to be more. sanitary and easier to handle than the stamps in sheets, and it is proposed ultimately to supply all postoffices with stamps in coils.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

The department of agriculture charges that many poultry dealers have been nut ting infertlie eggs on the market that have been tested in ineubators. More fresh eggs for sale
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
Would it might please your grace, At our entreatfes, to amend that fsuit'
 -Rtchard HI.

BEGINNING THE DAY-Forbid, Lord, that should fall short by req son of a low ideal. Help me to ye"rn .or inc hest that ever has been. or Is, or can he; and with yearnine which cannot be denied. May l set my eyes on Christ and he trans 6cured into His image from glory to glory. Amcn.--H. NJ. 10.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

Aero snow boating was a popular form of sport in the vicinity of Hammonds- port N. Y, during the winter. Glenn H. Curtiss, who perfected the new craft, at1 tached pair of skis to an aeroplane and found that he could glide over the sur face of the snow at a speed of 90 to 50 miles an hour, with more ease than a hydroaeroplane glides over the water Progress is smooth and there is no srlash of spray to wet the traveller. One man succeeded in carrying three or four rassengers on his craft The Curtis fac- tory expects to turn out number of snow boats next year. tt is believed that they will be found useful in exploring the polar regions. Amundsen and other explorers have announced that they will give aerial craft a trial in the arctic regions, where ice packs prove a serious obstacle to ships.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

New Jersey man wished to commit suicide, bu. was prevented because he had but one quarter to put in the gas meter shows a lack of forethought.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
TROUBADOUR AND JESTER
ADIOS PULKE.

| AI%Oo At penetrating Irish Bulls
 Our Uncle Sam is spry It's quite joke to speak about
 A navy that is dry.
 wooDRowARD. It seems that watchful waiting Is also Huerta's plan. Before his door for several weeks He's kept moving van. And from his garret window With telescope in hand, He keeps a watchful waiting For Villa and his band.
 GREAT SCOTT. Amongst the million ballots With pen and shears we stir In vain hopes to discover That little Chestnut burr We must find him, lieutenant Governor or not: 2 We hope the worms aint got him: Just think of it-great Scott.
 FER 'osPITALITY. Neighbor: How did you enjoy the visit of your English guest?" Hostess: Greatly; only he dropped so many IFS that we've been stumbling over them for a week despite the fact that a vacuum cleaner has been used every day" sc n M
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
THE FIRST CARPET

From the Youths Companion
 The first carpet ever seen in East Hampton. Long Island, was in Parson Lyman Beeeher's house. One day 2 lite
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

A legless chauffeur was arrested in New York for breaking the speed law. Some people never know when they have had enough.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

The wearer of a one-piece bathing suit was nabbed Sunday at Coney Island. Spring is here.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

Transatlantic flight is still being dis cussed' but,..ie Vaterland offers the most comfortable way yet devised for cross Jng the pond"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

Secretary Daniels advocates a back to the Bible movement. A great many people have lost their grip on the "oid- time religion"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

While we adopt superior attitude in regard to the British suffragettes, the annual D. A. R. convention could hardiy be called d tame affair ..t,,-+-f
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

King Ferdinand of Bulgaria, will find this an open-handed country-palms up.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

If we ever do hear from the Martians, let us hope they will have something to say.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

Cartoonists show Huerta taking his last stand, but when will they be able to picture him taking his last bumper of champagne?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
Not So Great

While Atlanta will get some prestige from it's federal reserve bank, it is not going to be the great thing that it was made to appear said a business man who has been actively associated with banking institutions.
 "I do not underrate the baking and currency act, nor do 1 fail to appre- ciate the importance of having strong federal reserve district, but the mere matter of locating the bank is of sec ondary concern. While I would have been glad to have seen Birmingham selected as the reserve center I would have been much better satisfied if there had been only four or five districts instead of 12 for the larger the region the greater the benefit to all interests concerned, just as several able finan- ciers pointed out when the currency legislation was pending.
 Someone said that the government would erect large and costly buildings for the federal reserve banks. It will do nothing of the sort. The Atlanta bank will have rooms in an office building and will need only eight or nine clerks"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

Mexico City will be a harder nut to crack than Torreon.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
The priest who slew the slayer And shall himself be slain"

The magazine muckrakers dug the old fellow out For imputed wickednesses and depredations by means of railroads and the homestead act was he set in the stocks. But he has remained shadowy, as if protected by the spell of some enchanted Arden. Fabulous Montecris- tian riches were ascribed to him in pro- portion to his innumerable acres under the shade of melancholy boughs Frederick W. Weyerhaeuser was not wholly a myth, it seems, for he died at 80 yes- terday A fortunate man. if nightly rich, he slipped away for the most part from the gape and babble of the crowd ; a man of genius, since half a century ago he foresaw the future.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
THE KING OF THE WOODS

From the New York Sun.
 Just about 50 years ago a German im- migrant of 30, brought up in an Ameri can sawmill and already prosperous in small way in the lumber business, in a business visit to the Michigan woods seems to have seen the gradual sure de- pudation. of the -Ameaeah forests, then so stately and d~multtudinous. He seems to have seen their necessary use by a growing country, their waste by fire and otherwise by a careless country, the high golden fortune of treeland in a treeless country, for this side of the water con servation and forestation were arts un- known.
 There began that quiet buying of what has come to be believed an imperial do- main, which in the map of the popular imagination, at least, ranges from Mich gan to the Pacific, with heaven knows how many scattered fat parks and breezy boskages snapped up by that unsuitable collector.
 For a long time this shy king of the forests eluded public notes. He was as mysterious as that other king of the woods, the Rex Nemorensis of Nemi, Macaulay and J. G. Frazer:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
THE BEAUTIFUL CYPRESS

The prohibition wave has struck the navy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09
TELEPHONE

He'll (pr4vate exchange connecting all departmenIs), Main 49OO. |.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

At penetrating Irish Bulls
 Our Uncle Sam is spry; It's quite joke to speak about A navy that is dry.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala, | nostoffice as second class matter under l act of Congress March 3. 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-09

A. J. Eaton, Jr., and o. E. Young are the only authorized travelling repre- sentatives of The Age-Herald in It's circulation department
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1914-10-05
JEWS WILL HELP
 DISTRESSED PEOPLE

New York. Oct. .5-The American Jewish committee. in a, statement ia- sued today, stated that a preparatory conference to meet here would soon be called of representative of inn poFtant Jewish organizations through out the country to consider relief measures for the Jews who are in distress in Europe.
 The statement says that informa- tion is being gathered in Europe of the extent of the distress among Jews and urges that organizations through out the country should hold them selves in readiness to cooperate in the work to be mapped out at the conference here
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1914-10-05

CURTICE BROS. VEGETABLE
 Extra Fancy Tomatoes ... 2 cans 25c Telephone Peas ..........=........ 44c can Champion of England Peas ...... 13c can Cut Refugee Beans ............. 11c can Gut Refugee Wax Beans .... 11c can Round Wax Beans ........ lie can Flat Wax Beans ........... lie can Refugee String Beans ....... 14c can Whole BeetS 10c can Three Bros. Peas ......... 3 cans for 25c
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1914-10-05
Senator Weed
 Is Renonlinated
fspecial to The Farmer.1 )

NSpeclaI LO The FarInef.
 Twenty-sixth senatorial district today expressed themselves as highly pleased with the unan1nity of action in re- nominating Senator Hanford s. Weed, of New Canaan, at the convention here Saturday,. The belief is general that / he will be returned to the General Assembly, where he already has es- tabIished 8 most favorable record
 Senator Weeds name was placed before the convention by Walter Mo Kendrie, of New Canaan, and there were several enthusiastic seconding speeches. After the secretary had cast one ballot for Senator Weed, the nominee was brought to the hall and formally accepted the nomination. In
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1914-10-05
EAST MAIN STREET
PROPERTY OWNED BY CAPT. AUGER IN
 FAIRFIELD SEIZED

Capt. George Auger, the Fairfield resident who is better known on the vaudeville stage as s"Fhe Cardiff Giant beN Ise he reaches over sew en feet in the air, has been sued for $1, 900 by the Herbert l.. Joseph Go of Chicago. Three pieces of land on the Black Rock turnpike owned by Capt Auger, have been attached. The &C., ton is to recover for goods purchased. Papers are returnable to the common lpleas court October term.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1914-10-05

his speech of acceptance, Senator Weed announced his platform would be the platform adopted at the State conv ention.
 John c. Smith, of Norwalk, was chairman of the convention, and D. William Harford. of South Norwalk was clerk.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1914-10-05

A trolley collision in which three persons were injured and four auto mobiles were wrecked, was caused by a fire in the Hackensack Meadows, near Hackensack, N. J. The smoke hung so low that the headlights on the autos were lobseured-
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1914-10-05
PARACHUTE FAILS,
 AERONAUT KILLED

Red Wing, Adnn., Oct. 5.-whi1e making an ascension here yesterday, Clifford Bissonette's balloon burst into flames and as hundreds of spectators looked on, the aeronaut fell several hundred feet to his death, his para chute failing to open.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1914-10-05

Rear Admiral Frank F. Fletcher, U. s. N-,. conlmander-in-chief of the At 'lanttc fleet, has decided to make the new superdreadnonght New York his flagship.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1914-10-05

The state department announced that plans for a third Hague peace conference had been abandoned, owing to the war in Europe.
The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1914-10-05

General Hwang Hsing, generalisslfs of the rebels in southern China dur ing the revolution, has arrived in New York