South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-04-01
FEDS CEASE To
Be A JOKE; WILL
BE RECOGNIZED
Organized Baseball Laughed at
First, But Like the Whale
That Swallowed Onah,
Thought Differently Later.
~ FRANK Q. MENkE.

NEW YORK. April 1.-The Federal
1eague IS a fOke-oh. such "A funny,
Iauehable joke-on organized base
ball.
fionary. lis something said or done
for the purpose OF creating laugh,
often at the expense Of some certain
persons or thing.
Not that We are declaring that the
Federal league Was created SIMPLY TOT
the purpose OF providing the puoHc
with a huge eiEgle at the expense OF
organized baseball. there We're some
serious. money motives behind
IT, But just the same the fedeFal
league has occasioned the public few
hearty ha-ha's in the general direction
OF the baseball trust
The funniest part of the joke is that
for a long time the organized people
thought the joke was on the Feds.
And. nay, how they did laugh. All
dav the guffawel and often they'd
wake up during the night 20 let loose
crowd OF gigsies.
But theirs IS a case very much like
that Of the whale that swallowed
Jonah The whale thought IL would
be "A good joke on Jonah. TO enguli
him. And he did. For a short PERIOD
after Jonah found Judgment in his
ummy. the whale laughed in glee IL
was such a Joke But after time the
Joke reacted. Jonah began kicking
and S.uffiing around i'm the whale IS
interior, and the first thing the whale
knew was that he had "a terrible case
OF dyspepsia and Indigestion. The
longer Jonah remained. the worse be-
came the ailment. And so, as the only
means OF getting relief the whale rid
ded himself of Jonah
The Joke Comes Home.
The organized people at first
thought the existence of the Federal
league was Joke. They laughed. But
after a while they didn't laugh quite
SO much-or so gleefully. Something
seemed amiss. The joke wasn't turn
ing out as funny as some jokes ought
to- And the first thing organized base
ball knew was that the constant heck
ling of the Feds had given it rather
hickish feeling amidships.
The Federal league no longer Is n
tOke as far as the organized people
are concerned. They'd still like TO
laugh--but they can't. The joke has
gone too far Who can laugh when 1t
is discovered that the joke, instead of
being on the other fellow. is really on
Yourself? IT makes a fellow feel
rather foolish. quite embarrassed and
not one bit like Iaushing.
Some months pafss--NOv. 9TH. 20 be
exact-we declarea T9at if the F'ederals
had q big enonrh 4ankroH back of
them. and got ttae Tlght KIND OF
leader. they would make organized
baseball men st M and take large
amount OF notice. At that time the
idea was generally pOoh-poohed.
quite ridiculous and silly declared
many But il wasn't as present day
events show
And SO, encouraged, and despite the
fact that this happens TO be April
Fools day, we venture another predic-
ton And that is that before this
time I'm 1915. the Federal league Will
Zoe part and parcel of organized base
ball And they'll join. not because
thev asked To get in. but because or
ganized baseball sent them an urgent
invitation.
Money Bags Suffer.
As previously explained, baseball
warfare isn't very healthy for the
magnate's pocketbook. Warfare aids
no one but the player. 1t fattens his
hank account quite considerably. but
drains that of the magnate. And the
drain idea isn't exactly pleasing TO the
magnate.
Right now we believe there are at
least eight OF the sixteen organized
baseball magnates who would vote TO
take I'm the FederalS without being
coaxed too hard. But the other eight
are holding ont They want TO see
what the fedeTals will do this season.
They believe the Feds will fail. If
the Feds don't fail. and show up rather
strong at the end OF the season, the
anti-peace crowd most likely Will join
the others. And the olive branch will
Toe extended.
The Feds cannot he expected to