Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1914-10-09

What caused the war.-Headine il
Golfers.
It's believed down at Crackers Necl
that it was brought about chiefly t,
create the necessity for "war tax
in the United States, and afford an
tissue" for Slemps campaign-See.
Even the uniforms are the colors OF
Il smoky battle Correspondent
Only one fatal omission. If the
cuirass had been built Cat Krupp's
factory, on the lines of the American
corsets thousands of valuable lives
might have been saved.
One stick of panstic potash will
serve to "dchorn" many calvcs.-G
w. Koiner's October Bulletin.
HUI! Judge Skeen "dehorned" hun.
dreds of floaters down in the does.
trict and didn't use anything but II few
"caustic words.
On only thirty-six occasions during
the session have the Democrats fur.
nished quorum of their own mem
bers.-Tazcwell Republican.
Depending on the Democrats for n
quorum, chi Was our Bascom "pres.
ent' on any Of these er Occasions ?"
Suddenly and out of a clear skv her
territory was invadcd.-Mr. Roosevelt
in the Outlook.
What! A whole army by the air
route.
Is there one standard of morals for
Democrats and another for Republi-
cans.-Tazewell Republican.
NO standards. Democrats stand
without hitching, and nothing short
of the claw" will hold n Republican.
The way to KEEP the peace is to
speak softly and carry a big stick
Col. Roosevelt in the Outlook.
Some people cant be trusted with Il
big stick. "Blly" Kaiser for instance.
Belgium and Luxembourg have been
invaded and may be annexed if the
victors choose.-lndependent.
Destroying a good trust-Exchange
All the Judges agreed that the Inter
national Harvester trust was a good
trust" yet a majority agreed to dis
solve it. The Supreme Court should
dissolve tho disco1utiop
Washington warned his coutrymen
to beware of entangling alliances.
Globe.
And right in the face of this Mr..
Slcmp is all tangled up in the "wire
work" of the Bull Moose platform.
Increase of 1885, 900 bales of cotton
of 1914 crop over that of 1913. due
partly, Census experts say), to the
much larger crop raised this year
Dispatch in Journal.
Yes, and if the 1913 crop had been
total failure, the discrepancy would
doubtless" been greater. Oh YOU
census sharps.
Politics, like the fashions, was new
err so undefined.-Harper's.
Yet Congress is about to locate the
waste line in the neighborhood of the
pork barrel.
DIR. Carter, (thc divine), discussed
the tariif.-Blueield correspondent.
This old sky hopper ought to be a
free trader. Don't he know about
that head tax the Romans used to col
lcct from the Nazarcnc preachers
from other States.
Germany, through Chancellor Belt
man Holwing asks impartial" judg-
ment of Observation-Disclosures.
An Irishman in the same fix of Ger
many was told by the judge that he
should have impartial Justice" "Be-
dad" said Pat, "just keep yer JUS
tice, its your honor's mercy Pm beg
GIN :"
Mr.. Sic mp no longer harps on his
initial issue, the mistakes of Will
son. "-Ilerald-C
RELOCATED to the rcarward and
abysm of time. But the President is
still watching and Waiting" What
Let Richmond Take Notice.
Wheeling is the largest city in West
Virginia. 1t is located in Onion
county, on the Ohio river and is in
calling distance of the great State of