The Washington herald., 1914-07-05
DER GERMAN COBBLER
He Gets Advice, But 1t Doesn't Help Business

and children today, und you vhas look
ing ash bright ash q young man of
twenty. Sit down und haf some talks
NIT me about der tariff"
Look here, cobbler." says der doctor
ash he keeps his eyes on me. "doan you
git drunk purity early in der nmorning!"
But I vhas sober" / says.
"vheIl, den, you vhas fool! Vhas It
your bessness about my wits and chill
dren und how ! look?''
But I like to take some interest in
you"
"oh, you do! VheT. you can take some
interest in my coat tails"
Und he goes avhay to some other cob
bier shop NIT his shoes, and vhas left
vhas discouraged. but remember how
dot little tailor builds opp his pees-
ness. Der second caller vhas a man who
looks very solemn, und he wants a
cement patch. When he comes In.
shade hands nit him und say:
You vhas welcome. l vhas glad to
see you 1t vhas a fine day, und 1t vhas
good to see you looking SO happy.
"Vhas you talking to me?" he asks
ash he looks at me.
IT vhas Sit down and be at home
''Jnd did you say look happyF
''I neffer see anybody look SO smiling" ="
Den you vhas a liar! yhas an un-
dertaker for seventeen years. und net-
fer smile It vhas my peesness not TO
sn,iIe Cobbler, IL you expect to make
a living in dis place, you had better
look out"'
'eyhen he goes avhay, / speaks to my
wife und can't make IL out She says
dot tailor yhAs in America SO long he
ought tc know, und maype der rest OF
der peoples vhiIl be deeferent. Der next
who comes vhas a womans / bows TO
Come in, madam, und be sure I vhas
charmed to meet you. He vhas q lovely
day. Vhas der husband -und children
vheII7"
She looks at me und doan' say not
tings. und I keep on:
tYou yhas looking troubled dis morn
ing. Maybe it vhas sickness in der fam
ily' or like enough your husband Vhas
out all night. II you like TO tell me
about IL, / shall sympathiEe NIT you"
Dot womans doan' speak one word.
She goes avhay nit q slam of der door,
und purity soon q big man NIT red
face comes in und yells at me:
'Cobbler, What der denies you mean
by speaking dis vhay to my wife? Vhas
you drunk or crazy!
Il like to make her welcome" 1 says
Welcome, welcome! Do you haf TO
welcome some folks to a cobbler shop"
''Und IL she vhas in trobules I like to
show my feelings und help her out"
''Oh, you would Well. I shall gif
you some troubles Of your own to look
out for!''
Und dot man he grabs me und bangs
me against der wall und kicks oafer my
bench und throws me about, und in two
minits 1 vhas wrecked. He says to me
when he goes out dot IL ! speak to his
wife some more he vhill break all der
bones in my body und pull me out ten
feet long. haf three bumps on my
head und a black eye, und L goes by dot
little tailor und says:
''VheIl, you see how she vhas."
by George" he says, but you vhas
beauty! How you make sooch a mis-
take. eh?'
Il doan' make some mistakes. 1t vhas
all like you told me-"
Did you welcome der peoples?"
'T did"
"Vhen, see how she vhas. / vhas
tailor, und you vhas a cobbler II a
man comes in her to get a coat cleaned,
he expects to be welcomed und sympa-
thized NIT. II a man comes into a cob
bier shop. he expects you to shut oop
und say nottings. Hans. It vhas der
vhay in America, und you better get
some raw beef for dot eye und say you
yhas run oafer by a street Cart