South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-01-19
STA TESMEN
REAL AND NEAR
BY FRED c. KELLY.
BY FRED c. KELLY.

WASHINGTON. Jan. 1s.-This is
story with a moral.
But owing 10 the general deep
seated prejudice against stories with
morals. we shall give the moral first.
and have the worst over with at cone.
Thus everything will be perfectly
fair and above board and those VINO
are dissatisfied can quietly Withdraw
before the performance begins.
The great moral principle involved
is simply this that ABOUT the only
purpose of fOrmality is TO clutter up
and aggravate a situation.
Washington is, OF course, hotoeu
of fOrmality. and those who are most
formal have the least fun. You re-
member the line in the copybooks that
convention is the mother OF necessity
But all this is mere idle chitchat
Let us fly at our tale.
A few weeks ago there came TO our
shores a new minister from the Meth
erlands. by name Chevalier W. l.. +.
c. van Rappard. He is an excellent
and capable gentleman, but has been
trained in the diplomatic service
where fCrmality is rife, and naturally
he does things in formal way.
One of the old established formal
customs is that within a certain time
after his arrival here a new min
lister must formally present hlmseh
TO the vice president. minister Is
escorted to meet the secretary of state
and the president by the third assist
ant secretary of state, but when ne
meets the vice president there is no
adequate provision for any dlgnltary
to present him, and he must brace up
and go through it alone.
Ii was arrange that Vice Pres.
Marshall should be at his office IN the
capitol promptly at 3 o'clock one aft
ernoon TO receive the new minister.
Well, 9 o'clock came and went, but
the diplomatic caller failed TO appear
Marshall didn't care particularly as he
had no other important engagement
TO keep, and he is not a formal per-
son. but he couldn't help wondering
what could have happened 10 the man.
At $3.50 the visitor was still missing.
Then somebody brought word that
a mysterious stranger was wandering
about the corridors OF the capitol from
one wing TO another and looking
greatly worried. 1t turned out that
he was the missing minister. lie had
got lost in the building, which was
not surprising, and had tramped about
in a vain search for the vice pres
ident's room simply because he
thought it would be undignified and
informal TO walk up TO somebody and
inquire his way.
Having found the place at last. the
new minister suffered even more agony
of spirit-entirely due TO fOrmality.
He was mortified half to death be-
cause he was late. Being tardy for
a diplomatic appointment was 10 him
great incontrovertible sin sufficient
10 bench him for life. He felt as If
he had a diplomatic batting average
OF 900. And all his embarrassment
and establishment were needless. for
Marshall did not hold II against him
at ALL If ne had not been brought
up on formality all might have been
we'll.
When it came time to go, the man
started out the door, still apologizing
for being late, and tripod over a
large, expensive rug.
once again he thought he had done
something informal and therefore
something terrible. Marshall tried to
assure him that he himself often trip
ped over the rug and that il was
perfectly all right 10 do so but the
diplomatic caller was almost incon-
solable
And then. by way of placing the
final straw on the climax. the man
returned in few moments. more en-
barra ssed than ever. 10 confess that
he had forgot his hat. To have lived
through ali his mishaps and finally
got away alive. only 10 return for SO
commonplace a thing as a hat. SEEM
ed 10 him the height Of informality--
and horror
The point is. you see. that except
for the supposed necessity Of main
tanning formality and dignity. the
whole thing might have been treated
as a great joke. Back in Indiana,
where Marshall comes from, men often
come late and trip over rugs and for
get hats-all without impairing their
standing l. the community. So such
things did not seriously veX Marshall.