The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-03-01

student an he was busted, which is tn same thing. He was sittin' on his thrunk in his bed room in tn back iv tn house, next to tn shingles wondhrin if he could raise tn price iv a seide iv Pilsener be sellin' pome O. says he to himsilf l wisht l had five hundhred dollars yet. Fritz Onagelt had no sooner made his wish thin he heard voice at his elbow say: What kind iv bills, plaze,' an turnin' round he saw fairy that had just dropped through tn skylight without breakin tn glass Good avenn, ma am,' says tn poor student What can I do fir ye? says he. heerd yeer wish says tn fairy, an I'm prepared to get it fir ye, says she. If ye do,' says Fritz, I'll split it with ye, says he. don't want no commission. I'm not broker, I'm good fairy says tn visitor stiffly An l don't want yeer thanks, ayethec. l don't like this business iv raisn money fir good- fir nawthin' fellows like yc to spind on dhrink. Me reg'ar jooty is to look afther little childher, but tn fairy that has charge iv tn cash depart ment is up now coaxin Andrew Carneygie to make good wish iv tn prsidint iv colledge, an l was sint out to attind to ye'er case she says. Wait here minyit an I'll come back with tn soap she says. An she disappeared through the keyhole.
 ! " In little while she stepped out iv the wall an dumped five hundhred dollars on tn wash stand. Here's ye'er wish, an much good may it do ye, says she. %, thank ye, says Fritz. an he begun to count it over to see that she hadn't held out on him. But at that minyit all awful howl was heerd downstairs. A woman was yellin': Polls Stop thief! I'm rooned! I've been robbed!' Whats all that?' says Fritz. It's yeer poor landlady, says tn fairy.
 How l pity her. says she. What is she whoopin' about? says Fritz. She's just dis covered that she's been robbed iv five hundhreI dollars, her savns fir ten years Dye mane to say that ye got this money firm that forchnit woman? says Fritz.
 Sure, did, says tn good fairy. An tn ony way ye can get money is to take it firm some wans' says he. How tn bazes else cud get it? says tn good fairy. Do ye think I'm gon to make money fir ye an have tn United States govermnt afther f'r tn rest iv me life? If I'd had time an ye wasn't in so much iv hurry I wudden't have touched tn ol lady so hard but wud've spread ye'er wish over enough people so no wan wud've felt it much, says she
 An she melted away. Nussbauner didn't tell me what Fritz done about it. Maybe he was good natured enough to return tn dough to tn landlady an maybe she was thankful enough not to complain him to tn polls. An maybe afther Fritz had kept comp'ny long enough with tn money to feel that it was his he put it in his pocket an walked. downstairs an said to tin andlady: Me good woman, ye shud accustoni yeersilf to tn station in life that nature intnded fir ye If ye ar-re poor it is because ye ar're lazy an ign'rant, fir it must be plain to ye that gr-reat wealth such as mine is due entirely to SUI peeryor intelligence, sobrity, an thrift. Honest poverty is not to be despised, but is. Howiver, wealth has its responsibilities which it cannot neglect, an seein yeer disthress is so great, will write to tn S'ciety fir Charity to sind some body around with lorgnette to look into ye'er case, he says. Here, cabman, dhrve me to tn Kaiserhof' he says"
 Dye think man can make money an be kind asked Mir. Hennessy.
 Sure, he can, said Mir. Dooley. But he'll have to have two sets iv office hours
 Scopyrisht: lsil: By Finley Peter DuunaA