The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1914-03-27

Pauence-Will says when he kissed
you last night he noticed you'd been
eating onions.
PatnceWell, all I've got to say Is
that q man who will notice onions on
girls breath when he's kissing her
hasn't got his mind on his business
YOnkers Statesman.
like the modest man. He's meek.
You seldom hear his din
But when q man has lots Of cheek
He has q lot Of chin.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The artillerist always spoke of his
gun in the feminine gender.
"YOu see, sir, she was never yet 81
lenced!'' he explained, with glistening
eyes.-Puck.
Her gownlet cost five hundred beans;
Her furs, four figures in a row.;
Her hat removed from papa's Jeans
"A hundred shekelS more or 80
In fact. though she's but in her teens.
She's quite the dearest girl I know.
Judge.
He-Yes, I'm a soldier. l helped Eng
land win the Boer war.
Shells that so? Which side were
you on?Judge.
In learning none could equal you
think whene'er l hear you blow.
Vain braggart. II you only knew
A tenth of what you think you know.
Detroit Free Press.
''This photograph" averred the sales
man, needs no Introduction"
."Why not?"
'It speaks for itself."-Jmdge.
There once was n steam radiator
Whose GOODNESS grew greater and greater.
To the janitor Bill"
Cried the man with a chill.
''Your fire has n down! Agitate her!"
New York Press.
II am afraid your husband is of a
choleric temperament. madam"
"Good heavens, doctor. and not n
of us has ever had the ch0iery. either!'
Baltimore American.
His deares. wish was once to be
A happy multimillionaire.
But that was years ago ere he
Began to lose his curly hair.
He wishes now that on his pate
Another thatch Of hair would grow
And that he might reduce his weight
To what it was ten years ago.
Chicago Record-Herald.
THAT salesman Is q man of polish"
Eyes; he's q very smooth article
Judge.
All girls are silly over men.
IT'S plain as plain can be.
Just listen and you'll notice when
They laugh they say, He, he!"
Cincinnati Enquirer.
THAT new head waiter will never
DO"
"What's the trouble? He seems to
be very courteous"
II know, but he's actually letting
our guests sit ut the tables they pre-
fer themselves detroit Free Press.
'we're making more Roadway than ever"
she said.
I'VE have a secret society. Ned"
''And what" he inquired. may its pur-
poses be-"
She replied. "oh. we meet and tell BE-
I'D .S>,, -1A0n
. -Lippincott'a.
Poets are born" says the philoso-
phersof folly. land that's just the trou-
BILE. In nine cases out Of ten it would
be better If they weren't."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
? There once was a three legged duck
On a palette of pigments got stuck.
From the palette he ambled
To, canvas and scrambled,
The result being futurist truck.
New York Sun.
Harley Dust arrived>-Gee, but the
air in this fiat is dopey, Clara!
Mrs. H~arley-Maybe it's due to the
steam hitting the pipe.-Puck.
'.He fell in love with her figure"
No wonder. for she was a peach.
He shook at the thought Of proposing
She seemed so far out of reach.
.He fell in love with her fagure.".
She vas constantly in his thoughts.
No wonder he loved her so madly-
Her figure was one and six naughts!
Portland Oregonian.
PA, what is q comfortable incomeY'
Zone that sits easy on the conscience,
] suppose."-Detroit Free Press.
Oh, words are tribes light as air!
And yet it's very plain
That IL they're not restrained with care
They'll start a hurricane.
Washington Star.
1--WE want to present a fine dog to u
pastor. What breed would you select?"
'sWhy not give china shepherd dog?"
Baltimore American. e,:v
~ d - --- 49,: =.