davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12
Machine Shop Turnings

"Do that which is right without regard
to consequence.
Valentine Bire of the rope room when
asked if he got glory ticket, pointed to hi:
neck.
The sandy haired Appolo with the long
ing balling machines.
Peggy the assistant runner of shop A. is
great lover of tame beans. | wonder
why? Ask Supt. Williams.
Nibs is sporting watch and chain Said
he had to take the bell off the watch in
order to get it in his vest pocket.
Lefty Louie likes to repair flyers, but oh
you shop E. he says. Sometimes two and
sometimes three, but always one.
The Yellow Kid is signing for the open,
wants to get and commune with nature
awhile. Don't blame him any, do your
Mickie says, only seven months more;
then started to hum. 81 wonder if she II
know me now when 60 back again.
Mr.. Skyjack from Mars went to the sick
bay this morning. Said he had a little
devil in each ear, better have them cast out
lex.
l wonder why that tall good looking Of
fcer on the fourth gallery dislikes to hear
any one singing that old song about two
and two making four?
Our friend Frank is now a full hedged
school-marm. Teaches reading, writing,
and arithmetic; but the hickory stick is
CONSPICUOUS by its absence.
Its good thing the smoke ordinance
isn't in effect around this shop. Chicago sn't
in it with this place when it comes to
smoke. Oh! you iron burners.
We notice that Officer Golf gets off the
care at Lynch Hill quite often. Wonder
whv? Think probably the little red coat
has something to do with it. Ask Paddy.
Oh you fire drill notce One of the Of
hcers has about ten yards of bandage around
one of his shins. They tell me there is a
large dent in one of the iron doors in the
corridor.
''Nibs says Mr.. Officer please don't do
dat, l likes to shine 20 shoes, but don't
likes to be called shine Alright Nibs
I'll call you Blacky, Nibs then quietly
dropped his elevator out of sight.
take off my hat to the colored choir.
You are fine boys, better than ever.
Thought was conner though when Mage
opened his mouth. Gee! mayby dat guy
couldn't get away with a watermelon.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12
THE BURGLAR ALARM.

Opening her eyes Mrs. Grayson saw a
masked man. BY the light of an electric
torch he was ransacking her dressing-case.
His powerful build, bushy hair, and
stubby beard indicated the intruder to be
no other than 'Murderous Mac who had
terrorized the city for weeks.
eff l Scream" TREMENDOUSLY breathed
the Frightened woman, che will kill me;
and If l don't he will get my diamonds.
What SHALL dor
Then-SHE PINCHED THE BABY.
wow shrieked the outraged infant.
Like flash the burglar wheeled, and, as
fast as his webbing knees would permit,
he rushed from the ROOM Not until he
had run many blocks was he able to con-
quer his panic.
"7hdt noise surely gets my goat" he
muttered, pulling up with foolish grin
upon his face. 81 always expect that next
I'll hear my wife sayin', Henry. think
you had better get up and walk her
awhile. "-Lippincott's
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12
LAUNDRY DEPARTMENT
By " Yours Truly

The truck from the old prison brought a
load of new mattresses, Tuesday for the
new cell house.
Wednesday of last week, Capt. Alexan-
der escorted the Board of Control, from
Iowa, through the laundry.
The boys of the 'Muckers Union were
busy Saturday unloading three truck load
of beds, for New Cell House.
John, an artist who sews buttons on, says
he is going to intent new button, so he
can put them on as fast as they come off.
Ike, our tailor, says he is kept busy these
days cleaning mud off of trousers, it seems
the street cars stop running at IL p. m. in
Saltwater
Supt. Mullen of the farm paid us a visit
this week and took couple of boxes and
barrels away, also showing tie new teamster
his duties.
A. G. our embroidery worker is now
using his spare time doing embroidery work
and he has TWO pieces now finished; pleaee
don't all bid at once.
They do say that old Uncle Job. of bible
fame was there and over, when it came to
doing Patient Stunt But I'll bet a
plug of Hugo's best, they never tried to get
his nanny with an indeterminate sentence;
ye Gods.
The electric coat ironer was out of order
Thursday afternoon, so A. G. had to use
the kids machine after he was done his
work. Eighteen white coats an hour is
some rapid work. Laundie' outside only
make twelve an hour.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12
SHOP E NOTES
By Duke

Nothing to do but time.
Have you forgotten No. a, Jimi
Good bye, ST. Patrick's day for yours,
Ell?
If any of you are looking for dough.
Take peek in the bake shop. Eli!
Dutch came back Just like the cat. He
is now busy learning the art of sewing sacks
of Irvine.
One of the machine shop boys was in our
shop last week repairing some of the ball
ing machines.
Seventeen thousand pounds of Irvine
every day. Boys, you all deserve gold
medal and the prize.
Talk about the high cost of living.
Well, we should be annoyed, when we
have salmon for luncheon on Friday.
Mr.. Olson escorted a party of friends
thru our shop Friday. To those of you
who are not acquainted with Mr.. Olson, l
wish to say that Mr.. Olson is the contrac-
tor who built the state capitol at Pierre, S.
D., and is now finishing up the out build
ings of our prison.
Bright eyes says, "When was down in
Mexico with Rockefeller, Morgan and Car
negie, we had fight with bunch of ban
anas and skinned EN-. But as we were
travelling thru Minnesota on our way east,
we all said lets start something. So Nor
gan started Lank. Rockefeller started an
oil trust, Carnegie started a library and l.,
saw Judge and started doing time.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12
SHOP B GOSSIP
By o. p. B.

Three of our Gopher Leaguers jumped
to the FederaIs this week.
I'm sure that if there was prize offered
for the best kept shop, Dad would bring
home the beacon.
When new keeper asks you how to
spell your name correctly, you want to be-
gin arranging an alibi-.
l wonder, if installing balling machine
in our shop does not mean that some one is
stealing march; oh, you prize money.
Did you ever notice how Mex enjoys that
gravy? All same Chill con carne, he says
hide the pepper on that cook Mr. DOYLE.
Guard Buckley has returned from Ro-
chester, and resumed his duties in this
shop; once more weIhave some system
Guard Glennon is sure liberal with that
squirrel food he has in the warehouse; for he
lets us have few nuts every day at 4:4O
p. m.
Sherlock handles hot air as we'll as beans
and gravy. March 1st come and gone and
ne is still here, you are no relative of George
De Wash?
Bamboo Slim was asked what his occu
patton was in D. G. cav was chamber
maid in livery stable" he replied. Some
posih Ell:
Say Paddy You're the real iokesmith
all right, all right; ye scribe, understands
that you christened the dog Duke, why
didn't you get it right and call her Duchess
if you thought she was entitled to royal
moniker?
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12
THE CHAUTAUOUA
An Interesting Meeting of the Circle Held
the Old Prison Sunday


the Old Prison Sunday
The Chautauqua Circle held its regular
bi-monthly meeting in the chaple at the
old prison last Sunday.
The President called the meeting to order,
suspending roll-call in view of the amount
of business to be transacted.
The Board of Control recently passed on
the purchase of forty-seven new books for
the Circle, most of which have already ar
rived. These books are of very recent pub
LEGATION, by some of the best author of the
day, and the variety and universal up-to-
dateness of the subjects chosen are exceed.
ingly satisfactory to the members of the
Circle.
A resolution was passed, effecting and
embracing vote of thanks to be extended
to President NJ, Mr.. Vasslay of the Board
of Control, and Miss Carey the State Libra
rian, who have, by sincere and hearty ef-
forts caused the extension of the work OF
the Circle, by furthering the purchase OF
the books.
Business being transacted, Mr.. G. favored
us with solo accompanied by Mr.. B.
(Nil Desperandum) on the piano, which
was received with appreciation.
Mr.. SIS paper on "Japan's Expansion
was arranged and delivered splendidly and
the subject was thoroughly taken up, treat
ing with emphasis on the Jap's envious
strength on the Pacific. This was Mr..
SIS first paper and was an entire success.
Mr.. F. chose large subject for his paper
on industrial Advancement, and, while
he could only touch on the most important
points, he created large amount of inter-
est and discussions bringing in the prece-
dent recently established by Mr.. Ford in
Detroit.
Mr.. B. Blackstone, is surely living up to
his ability to act in the capacity of critic,
and is doing his work thoroughly and
justly.
A. ]. F.-Se' cy
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12
A Contrast In Friends

l had one friend whom l gave home
to, and fed and clothed, and when l fell,
he was the most vociferous in calling for
my very blood, and he deliberately and
falsely swore my life and liberty away; and
now after have lost all man holds dear
to him, wife and home and children, and
position in society, he writes and asked me
to forgive such Judas. My other friend
stood by me like Napolean, and is only
awaiting my release, to receive me with
open hand and purse, and has enough faith in
me to give me financial boost in business.
One is the son of darkness, and the other
is all that God intended man should be-
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12
Foundry Sparks
By Sand artist

Here is wishing you the best of the best
M. Nj. E.
Everything must be going just right,
from the looks of Supt. Ross face.
Andrew, our runner and the big Chief,
'Crack Iron," drew lucky number from
the parole board last week
Some one must have dropped chunk of
ice down the cupalo Saturday evening,
judging from the amount of cold iron we
got.
Officer White, and members of his fam
lily, paid visit to the core room and this
shop Saturday evening. during casting
hour.
Two more new machines put in opera
ton last week, one for only few hundred
pieces, the other for the full seasons or
der.
A party of gentlemen under the guild
ance of Deputy Sullivan watched the men
pore several tons of iron one evening last
week.
The head moulder on the binder frames.
was on the sick list Saturday. The other
two made a fair showing, as neither of
them ever set cores before.
l sure don't know, Uncle John who put
the pi(e) in the piano, unless it was
"Paddywhiskey.' am darned sure did
not, for have not had piece since the
first of the year, and belize me, if had
one it would not go in a piano, get that?
Through the courtesy of the editor 1
have held down this page for several
months, although knowing as do, am
a misht, when it comes to this kind of
work. So, if one of you men, whom
know to be capable, will kindly make
yourself known to the officer in charge you
will get material. So, if you wish foun-
dry sparks 10 continue. come the front, as
this is my last squeal.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12
JOKER'S BUDGET
BIZ Paddy

Jimmie the Peanut and Duke are on
speaking terms again.
The bets are all off in that two bit plunge
Nothing doing, ''but tell it to Sweeney
The kitchen boat encountered a few
stormy days on its voyage the past few
days.
Little Dutchy is longing for his liberty,
and town where he can get two for FIVE
cents.
1t is claimed the squirrels that took
up their residence in the warehouse, are
getting fat.
Blodie is now freighting around the hap
py expression these days. At last he got
his new night shirts.
SNOWFALL is now a member of the choir
and the way he can grind music out through
gold teeth am somethin' scand-lus.
Fire water CT is now employed in Zip
lips place and is giving the mop few
tango lessons every morning out front.
A story is going the rounds that GER
tain gent has lost his home and is seen on
St. Paul car pretty regular lately. No, it
ain, Harry. Ask Officer Sederberg.
Me Friend Mickie has kicked over he
traces and resigned as member of the
grand jury. 1t may be form for thin that
loike it but don't like it, begorrah, said
he.
time was? don't know, said he, l Drop
mer while out fishing. Knew all the time
it was in soak.
Mutt says them Is bones come in handy
every month. Jeff wants Mutt to split the
coin even two ways, for said he, we both
can look forward to little change the first
of each month.
A lady that sued another for SIS, 900 for
coping the smiles of her husband and was
allowed only one dollar by the jury, was
in luck, anyhow, the wretch was only
ooh, such language!' Now, what S
the matter, somebody been cussing YOU?
"No,' said Duke, 81 was up there looking
at the major loading up the pig swill on
the wagon and you ought to have heard
what he said. 1t was something awful.
oioNiOuS, Soio q iduy " tHC uSucT as
she went out the front door after going thru
the prison. This is cerainly wonderful
place. Everything so quiet, nothing loud,
athe whole place. LADY" said the usher,
''you surely didn't notice the turnkey S
neck tie
Master Rosing was around the other day
lining up some of his friends for hunting
trip. Andy was unable to 60 because Of
an injury to his thumb. 'Just my luck"
said he. Nothing doing. Said Buck
when he was asked, 'sYou know the last
hunting trip went with you, you copied
the only chicken l got. Me by my lone
some next time
Andy was in the injured list to see the
doctor. Had a punctured wing. After
the assistant had put on all the stuff in the
place on his mitt and wrapped it up in
about twenty-five yards of bandage, Andy
sPied little red can and said, put some
of that on, too: 1t may help" 81 don't
think that would help any,, said the as
sistant, cit is red paint
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12
OLD PRISON NOTES
UNCLE JOHNS SAYINGS

And now for the spring weather, and the
| new home, maybe soon.
| He that hath mind to do right and
then does it should be twice blessed.
Guard Gallaghers crew is getting so
| small he will soon be all by himself.
The board of control met at rhe old pris
on last Thursday and granted business in
| terviews to several.
Usher Casino will have his hands full
soon handling the visitors, but he is the
| boy who can do it. See.
Thanks, Mr.. Editor, for all the nice
things you have said about us in last weeks
editorial. We appreciate it.
A dozen barrels of white lime was re-
ceived last Saturday which will keep Old
Hutch and his assistant busy for while.
Murray, for Good friday Seems to be
one Friday in the yeat that is not regarded
by the superstitious as hoodoo ANYWAY.
knowledge consists not only of learning,
but of an ability to utilize that learning for
the benefit of human kind as we'll as our.
selves.
Say, Bookworm, if all those soles that
were half soleo had been whole souled they
would have been "well heeled' wouldn't
they? What?
An inmate was heard to remark on our
last holiday, "birds of feather flock to-
gether,' but they don't fly very high
around these diggin's.
Doc, Hene's assistant in the library has
been promoted to the hospital as Dr. New
| mans assistant and started on bis new
duties last Wednesday.
Two car loads of hay rake wheels were
| received during the week, (4O0 to the car)
and painted Immediately and piled in neat
piles in the upper ward.
The board of parole met last Tuesday
afternoon and considered about so applica-
tions for parole out of which they granted
eight paroles and five conditional dis
charges.
1t is pleasure to go and take look at
our warehouses. Guard Husting, the boss
OF these buildings has them stacked so full
that there is not even room there for
chicken to roost.
There are men in this world of ours who
are so mean that they are not even fit to be
behind prison bars and the board of parole
would do great act of charity if they
would remove such persons from our midst.
They are disgrace to our community.
About fifty new Chautauqua books have
been ordered from Minneapolis by the
board of control, part of them have arrived
and the rest will follow as soon as possible
Heinie sure is a hustler, when he gets busy
Thanks, old scout, for your effort in the
ChhutTuQua movement.
Sand Artist says he's going to resign as
Mirror scribe but we hope he will recon-
slider it as we all enjoy reading his weekly
gossip and the news he gives of the happen
ings in the foundry. Remember S. A. we
all have duties to perform, and your weekly
Mirror report is one of the most important
Don't stop until you find some one else
to take your place who can do as WELL
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12
SHOP K (Old Prison)
By the Book Worm

And an officer shall lead them,
Getting down to labor, means getting W
to honor.
A wise man is he who can adopt the hab-
it of saying nothing at the right time.
Navigated base bail: If an Atlantic fish
ing smack tried to steal home, would a
ocean liner out?
Did some one say there was going to be
slight deduction in the horsepower of our
smoking tobacco?
Speaking of tough guys, such as 'Gyp
the Louie and Lefty Blood, there is a
gink hereabouts who claims he's so tough
that he has to smile to keep from shooting
himself.
Apple Butter Slim says, "To be impor-
tant is one thing, to look important is an
other thing, but to feel important, there
you have the fellow who enjoys his own
society,"
Theee early spring days remind us of our
kid times we all had few years ago. Rub
ber-ice in the morning, miniature irrigation
projects in the evening, and those wet fee,
dHu quiuIuc pins.
The man with the oil can in shop K,
wishes his fellow workmen to know that he
did not deliberately attempt a spectacular
descent from his ladder few weeks ago, a:
this paper stated. Later, upon being inter.
viewed, he said: 81 hold no grudge agains
a man who puts vaseline on his hair, OF
vaseline on his hands, but, please show me
that man who wades in If -
Extra: Last minute news The fast Shor
K Limited running forty minutes late
from Rackville to Lasting station, me,
in headon collision with tina Warehouse
Transfer in front of the K. L. M. elevator
at 400 p. m. Wednesday afternoon. Ow-
Ing to the presence of mind of engineer
"Overalls'' of the Limited no souls (soles'
were lost. Later it was confirmed that q
heel who had been beating his way, had
been crushed.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12
N | R R 0 R EFT ES
The top o'the mornin' to ye.


Which means St. Paddy's day is near.
And Paddy, Duke, o. c. ct al, will be
in their glory.
And our leetle German band will spiel
''the wearIn' of the green.
Easter only four weeks away and we
have mt ordered our new bonnet yet.
Supt. Williams of the Irvine factory es-
corted party of lady friends through the
institution Saturday afternoon.
Blackstone is living his army days over
again-as will be noted in his ''Yarns of
the Barracks on the first page.
Farm Supt. Mullen is working his barn
yard population Overtime getting ready for
the Easter egg supply-Yum Yum.
The clear Minnesota atmosphere and a
bright blue sky, contributed to make last
night eclipse of the moon a sight worth
seeing.
1t won't be good for the dog, if Duke
should see Dachshund with green ribbon
on his collar next Tuesday.-Did you ever
see the like?
Some artist, is ''Yours Truly of the
Laundry force, With a toothpick and
common house paint he has painted num-
Der of very creditabe specimens, for two
of which he has the thanks of We editor
A recently returned parole breaker says
the reason he came back was because he
saw on the corner of the envelope contain
ing his parole papers, "return after FIVE
days to the Minnesota State Prison'-And
he did.
"Lo" has been added to the front Office
force of runners, and is eating regularly
with the clerical bunch. When he saw the
7 bone on his side dish at the first meal,
he made dive for it, muttering "Ugh!-
Heap good horse meat"
Captain Brostrom's little five year old
daughter wanted to go out sliding the other
day, and when her mamma told her she
could not 60 just then the little one replied
-"Well mamma, the first thing you know
Jesus will not have any more snow up there
TO throw down, then l can't Slide
While making our rounds Saturday after
noon we tried to get over to the Crystal
Palace to see our friend landscaper Newell
and his posies, but got stuck in the mud
anu udu ~ llSut dUOut IdCc
Supt. Williams, just ahead of us, was more
fortunate and got there in flying machine.
The New Era, printed by the inmates of
the Federal prison at Leavenworth Kans :,
made its initial appearance last week, and
if we are to Judge its future by the makeup
of the first issue, we predict for it bright
and useful career. The new paper is we'll
printed and splendidly edited, and is replete
with news and gossip of interest.
Three of our BARRIERS are to taste the
sweet fresh air offreedom this month; Soapy
Tom, Blondy w. and the front office shaver
at the old prison. We shall miss them all,
and especially will we of the new prison
miss Blondy's keen edged blade. We wish
them we'll however, and we'll have to
stand chances on their successors.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12
CLOSELY RELATED

Lend A Hand has its Pen Parker,
while the Saltwater Mirror has its Pen
dennis. Their talents in their respective
lines, illustrator and writer, are about on
par, PAR EXCELLENT. Pen Parker is so
named through his ability in getting in
and out of the pen. We hazard a guess
that Pendennis draws his cognomen from
the pen point, and they must surely be re-
lated in some way. Oh yes, to be sure
they are brothers-brother inmates
Lend A Hand
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12

A gink by the name of King was telling
his troubles to officer Buckley the other
day-quoth he:
"You see it's like this oficer-I was sent
here for bigamy-I had four wives. 1t
would've been all right if hadn't gone out
and got loaded and then went home to lick
my wives
"Well did you lick 'em?'' asked Buck.
"Nope" sighed the con, ''a king full
never could beat four queens
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12

Some peoples only aim in life seems to be
to throw mud.
"What becomes of the fifty million pins
manufactured each week. Walls an ex-
change. Look in your Numbered shir,
brother, when it gets back from the laundry.
Commenting upon the motives of AL Jen-
nings and Geo. Crump Jr. both ex-convicts,
who announce their candidacy for governor
of their state Oklahoma. Has the appear
ance of novel manner in which to seek
noteriety, however, if this form of public-
ty becomes popular we, of Minnesota, may
yet hear of Mex casting his dicer into the
ring.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12
Writing Notice

All inmates are hereby requested,
when writing, to place their register
number and page number on the
upper right hand corner of the en-
velope, in the space to be covered
by the stamp. Your page number
will be found written with a lead
pencil on all incoming letters.
Compliance with this request will
cause letters to be mailed promptly.
Also, inmates are cautioned against
writing between the lines, and be
careful to sign your names to letters
at its close.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12
A SPASM OF THOUGHT
By Sherlock


Shop E to Win
You must break that superior pose,
And get a-goin
You're making Irvine, not holdin' shows
Get a-movin
faint no use to sit and whine
When you can't raise the standard in
Irvine;
Take another look and keep on tryin'-
Get a-goin
When the currents off, your machine al
Get 'em goin':
You gotta work to reach the top,
Get goin'.
Spose you're out to win sometime,
Lettin EN- know it amt crime;
See that your "sliver'' is coming prime
But keep er comm.
When you think the jig is up,
Keep 'em rovin'.
Put more oil in the cups,
Keep 'em rollin'.
Grab the super by the wing,
Show him your maxim Al string,
ana ii you Iall 10 cop the prize,
Just wipe the sweat out O. your eyes
Cause your been a-goin'.
The Shortest "Pome" Contest
(Houston Post)
Springtime
Day on
That lawn.
indianapolis Starr
The antiquity of microbes
Adam
Had 'em.
(Mirror)
Alarm Indian Fire-fghters!
Run
One.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-03-12
Rhymeries

The Rounder ran around the shop,
The Cutters cut-her cold.
The Tacker he got tackfull,
While the Moulder he got bold.
Then Shank he tried to welt-her
But Stamper saved the day;
He stamped bunch O. Two. Soles
And he sent her on her way.