The Washington herald., 1914-06-02
Statesmen, Rsai ssd Nesr.
BY FRED c. KELLY.

A meeting OF, the Presidenrs cabinst
10 not always as serious an AFFAIR as
one might expect at a gathering of the
big chiefs of our well-known nation
| More often than not. the President
starts things on with bit Of joke.
One morning he opened the exercises
as II IL were a minstrel nrst part
Says he, initiating the tone of an in
terlocutor. Gentlemen. be seatedr'
Two or three of the others immedi-
ately caught the spirit Of the thing
and appointed themselves Boneses
and Tambos.
.'Mistah Daniels. was you down to the
egg ball las evenin'r' begins Secretary
Garrison addressing the Secretary Of
the Navy.
And they have their little Joke.
Most of the joking at Cabinet ses-
siOns is done by the President. Secre-
tary Garrison. Secretary Daniels. Sec
retary Lane and Postmaster General
Burleson. Attorney General McReyn-
olds tells a good many good stories,
but Is not prone to exchange much
light repartee with his associates. Bur-
Lessons jokes are usually OF teasing
order. He will get something "on"
another member and jibe him about II
casually every time he sees him. Sec
retary Lane, too. Is a great kidder
and his wit is OF a high order, always
free from puns or other blemishes.
As the saying Is. he uses nothing but
his own stun. Secretary McAdoo has
been obliged to stand for a lot of
comedy here Of late. and he has
good working sense Of humor. though
he Is less likely than some of his as
sociates to take the initiative in crack
ing jokes.
Mr. Bryan rarely if ever attempts
much comic relief. One seldom hears
of him inserting anything bordering on
frivol..y In a speech. About the only
real joke he has sprung since he entered
the Cabinet was the one at the time he
was being twitted so violently about his
Chautauqua work.
1T used TO be-" says he, when / was
trying to get to Washington. that every
body tried TO keep me away from here,
saying that with me here the govern
ment might go to smash. Now every
body shows equal excitement and alarm
il threaten to leave Washington"
While he is perhaps slow to see the
point to a joke, whether 1t happens to
be on himself or somebody else. Mr.
Bryan is not thin skinned. He became
a
the comments on his grape juice drink
ing. particularly at one or two remarks
made on the floor OF the House OF Rep
resentatives. but as a rule he can hear
himself made sport of all the day long
and take it in good part.
Secretary Redfield is rather serious
minded but has a fair sense of humor.
II one did not have other means OF
knowing when Redfield has uttered a
little quip, one could tell by looking at
his eyes. The moment he has sprung
his bit of comedy he opens his eyes
wide until they are almost perfect circles.
and stares at his audience, with a funny
little animated expression to see II his
remark is getting over.
Loud cries and shouts, as of a man
trying to gain control Of a herd of ele-
plants, came over the transom from the
office of Representative Frank b. Willis.
who is candidate for governor of Ohio.
The Willis voice has displacement of
about a ton. and various other Represent
atives in that part of the building came
darting out of their offices to find out
what was causing the vocative lombard
ment- one member even went 5" far as
to open the door and peek in. AS he did !
so n fraiI little man with tea-cOlored !
mustache and watery blue eyes slipped |
put of the Office with a portfolio under |
his arm The sounds of verbal musketry |
then ceased and Willis was to be seen |
seated at his desk calmly as IL nothing |
had been avry.
What's up7 Don't you know you
might have broken a window with all
those big, heavy sound waves? began the
inquisitive neighbor.
THAT fellow was a book agent" ex-
planned Willis, in an unconditional tone. |
He came in to tell me what books | !
ought TO have: hut l think l know what 1
books / need just as well as he does. And |
| told him So
Representative Borland. of Missouri |
took his little girl to ball game. On the |
way back they passed a dog wearing a |
wire muzzle in response to a foolish "rdi-
nance prevailing in the District of CO. |
umbia.
.'Is the dog going to play BALI" she
asked.
Kin Hubbard. the Indiana philosopher.
has front yard with a terrace down to |
The street. One day as he was graphing
with his lawn-mower trying to cut the
grass a neighbor came by and remarked |
that trimming the grass
1n terrace is worse than trying to cut
bahy's hair.
''YCs." said Kin, soIemnly. every time
do this I think it is the regret of my
ifa that I was not born a goat
lCoTyrisht, 1914. by Fred c. Kelly. All rights