South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-03-06
THIRD YEAR OF
MARRIED LIFE.
BY mabel HERBERT URNER.

Dear Helen:
] am much worried at your last
letter. hardly know how TO advise
you. AS you know L have never
wanted TO interfere in any way be-
tween YOU and your husband and his
people. And there are some problems
that every wife must work out for
herself
About his mother I hesitate to
speak. I can understand your resent
ment at the letter she wrote Warren.
but z am sure. dear that you were
wise in your attitude towards her the
day she called. Whatever she might
have said, was il quite polite for you
10 retaliate as YOU did?
know she gOaded you into Il, and
II does seem that you should be free
10 rent your spare room IL you wish.
but n couldn't help matters for you
70 say YOU didn't think 10 concerned
her, and that the only interest she had
ever shown had been 10 criticize.
OF course. she exaggerated when
she wrote Warren you were insolent
10 her, but, still. as she was calling at
Your home. / hardly think you should
have said anything at that time.
i know YOU feel you have taken
and that ever since your marriage his
people haze treated yOu with more or
less discOurtesy. But would il have
helped any for YOU TO be disCOurteous
too? At least YOU have gotten along
for these two years without an open
break. and il seems 10 me il would be
better IL you could avoid any just
now.
After all. your life is not lived with
his people. You see them only occa-
sionally. And whatever your plans
for the future il will not make them
any easier to antagOnize his mother.
You write that you feel you cannot
60 on as things are now. That your
dependence on Warren is becoming
more and more intolerable and that
YOU must find some way Of making at
least part Of your own expenses.
this.
have wanted 10 talk it over with
your father. but have hesitated to do
so. for you know how bitter he already
is toward Warren. And / am sure ne
would insist on your coming home
However little we have you are al
ways welcome to share it, But you
say you will never do this.
And yet l wonder, If you realize how
hard II is for any woman of your
training 10 be self-supporting-or even
partially so. Even if you were wholly
l.
with Winifrcd-have you thought of
what a handicap she would be? You
would never want TO be separated
from her. and yet that is what almost
any work you might take up would
mean.
You write that many women whose
husbands have died and who have
had no more training for bread-win-
ming than you. support themselves
and their children. That is true. and
were you forced to do il, you probably
would. But j cannot bear TO think OF
your facing the hardships. anXieties
and humiliation that must surely come
when a delicate woman who has al
ways been sheltered faces the world
alone.
You ask me what Sally Hewitt did
after her husband was killed on the
railroad. I don't know what she took
up at first but now she is in Chicago
working for some fashion publication
doing designing OF some kind. But. |
IF course, she always had a knack at
drawing which you have not.
How I wish you had kept up your
music. for 7 feel you have a talent for
that But I suppose in New York il
would be useless for any one with
only a moderate training 20 try to give
lessons. You speak of shorthand and
las if I think YOU could learn that. /
XIV so little about il. Helen. but
cen if YOU did learns not the pay
very small? And are there not many
applicants for every position?
And this work would take you out
I'm the business world. You would
probably have 20 be in some lawyers |
office or brokers office, and I know |
how hard that would be for you. Don't |
think I'm trying to weaken you if you
are convinced that your happiness lies |
I'm being Independent. But / want
YOU TO realize more fully some of the |
difficulties
At least don't do anything radical |
until Warren returns. Perhaps If ne |
is successful in his business deal out
west things may be better. man IS |
lWays more irritable when he is en- |
gaged in any enterprise that is un-
certain. Ii is hard TO wait for devel- |
opments. And ] suppose that il what |
he is having TO DO. SO. dear. If YOU
can. be patient little longer and try |
90 think the future holds some happier |
solution than for YOU To have TO work /
outside your home.
About Mrs Morrison. your rOOmer. |
J hardly know what TO advise YOU. II |
does seem a little unreasonable that |
You should not be free 60 rent the |
spare room while Warren lis away. |
And vet since both he an his people |
are so against IT, ! am not sure that |
You are Wise in keeping her.
After all. 10 can be only q few weeks
until Warren returns. and is il worth I
going against his wishes 20 keep her I
Tor that short time
Helen. as 7 grow older ] think /
grow more dependent. / haven't the /
courage that I once had. I can see /
that even In my Homework. This /
spring we are going 10 have that door :
cut thrcgsa from the hall 20 the din /
Ing ioom N1u know we have plan /
ned chat for several years. But. /
someh .s. just To get everything ready i
for the men seems 10 me such an ef- !