Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1914-01-21
...An...
Experiment
BY DONALD CHAMBER IN


Hodges.
"Evenin', Mr.. Rogers" she said.
lon your way home, reckon. 1t
must be mighty pleasant to have such
nice home as yours to go to after
hard days work"
1T used to be 'slong as mother and
Anna lived, but now it's kind lone
some. Besides. when a feller's tired
out he don't want to cook his supper
and wash dishes"
why don't you git married? Then
you'd have some one to do your cook
in for you and wash the dishes and
take keer O. the house."
WAL" l said, kind o thinkin' out
loud, II don't know but that's good
idee But it amt so simple as would
appear. Furst off. feller's got to
find the gal he wants. and to make it
go she's got to want him. Then.
s'posin' it is go, it's easy and cheap
enough to git married: you kin git a
parson to do the job for whatever you
like to pay. Now. can't hitch two
critters together and expect 'em to
| travel easy. Furst off. one on 'em II
plunge for'ard. and t'other II hang
the other Is sot down to a stiddy gait.
That's the way it is when two pus-
sons begin to travel the matrimonial
road together. And. s'posin' that in
stead of gettin' used to the same kind
o goin' they git wuss and wuss. what
you goin' to do then?"
"Oh. Mr.. Rogers" says Martha.
you're pessfmist. and the wust kind
of one"
II don't know what that is. but
do know that gittin' married ia like
buyfn' pig in poke. You kin see
| the gal plain enough on the outside.
but you don't know what she Is on
the inside. She may be white as
snow on the surface. and not two
inches down she may be smolderin'
fire. ready to burst out at any mo-
| ment."
"1'll tell you what I'll do with you.
Reckon you don't want me. and I'm
not hankerin' to git married. You kin
experiment on me if you like. and If
| you don't find out at the end O. six
months that I'm what you took me
for in the beginnin' I'll agree with you
that wimmen is mighty deceptive"
"Well, now, that's accommodatin', l
declare" says to her. when shall
begin?"
| whenever you like"
"I'll commence tonight. when I've
had supper and got the dishes washed"
"You needn't mind about the dishes.
Jest you let 'em alone tonight To-
morrer when you're out to work I'll 20
in and tidy up for you and do your
dishes. Where'll find the door keyY"
"Hangin' under the porch. left side
near the front"
She'd started on, and didn't say no
more. I went on hum. got my sup
in the dishes in the pan. About 8
o'clock l went over to her house and
found that she'd done her evenin'
chores and was a-sittin' before blaz-
in fire. darnin' stockin's. l thanked
her for the offer she'd made me and
told her when she'd convinced me
that wimmen was jest as amiable as
they looked I'd like for her to put
me onter a nice gal that l could ex-
| pertinent on. with view to marriage.
She said she would if she could hit on
the right gal
spent couple Of hours with Mar
tina. toppin' of with some cakes and
cider she brought out. The next day.
when l went home at noon. found
the dishes washed. the pots and ket-
ties shinin' like iookin' glasses and
everything spick and span. By
crackey. I hardly knowed the place.
That was Saturday. and thort l
oughter go over the same evenin' and
thank Martha. did so. and she
said that for few weeks she'd clean
up for me every Saturday.
After that every Saturday mornin'
Martha put everything to rights. and
l dropped in to thank her Saturday
evenin'. She said she'd do it for a
few weeks. but the few weeks growed
into few months.
Meanwhile l was a-watchin' her to
see if she was good all the way
through or only vanished. At last l
told her that was well satisfied with
the experiment and l didn't think
wimmen was so onsartin' after all. I'd
been so encouraged by her goodness
that l concluded to git married. She
looked very much pleased after this
and asked me who / was goin' to
marry. hadn't any one in view; but.
thinkin' oughter name somebody. in
asmuch as said I was goin' to git
married. said the gal was Matilda
Blake.
You jist oughter seen the change in
Martha. Her face got red. and her
eyes fairly spit fire.
matilda Blaker' she said. mighty
scornful. "She doesn't know how to
fry bacon. She couldn't sew a button
on your coat She couldn't even darn
stockin's'
l said somefin in defense of Matilda.
but it only made Martha madden than
before. She began to abuse me more'n
Matilda. and when I got tri1e buffy
she up and throwed a book at my
head. I got out as quick as could.
but not before an inkstand struck me
on the shoulder. 1t didn't hurt me.
but spoiled a suit of store clothes
The experiment was failure. I've
been cookin' and washin' dishes my
self since then. and expect to keep
It up all my life.