The Catholic bulletin. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1911-1995, 1914-09-19
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mot at all! Those are only doubts.
would kick against the monks if
had reasons, but these doubts do not
let me rest. Now, Professor, is it true
that the first free schools were opened
by De la Salle?"
Yes, by the Frenchman, De la
Sale"
Il understand you mean to say by
the Catholic priest, De la Sale. And
the first monk who cared for the deaf
mutes was not that Spaniard Pedro
de Ponce and after him the priest
L'Epee?"
Yes, and now stop, you blockhead!"
Don't get hot, Professor. 1t is not
our fault that history is full of these
black DEVILS Moreover, l read that
a monk by the name of Schwarz in
vented gunpowder; the monk Guido
d'AreZzo the gamut and laid down the
foundation for harmony; monk from
Bavaria the process for glass paint
ing; the Jesuit Secchi is especially
distinguished for his discoveries in
spectroscopic analysis and in solar
and stellar physics; the Jesuit"
Shut up! You are guying me. Do
not take me for lightning rod"
You're right, you're right, Profess
sor. The first lightning rod was not
made by Franklin, but it was invented
by the Premonstratensian monk
Divisch. You can read that in any up
to-date cyclopedia."
For heavens sake, hold your
tongue. You are too laxative"
"Ah, the greatest polyglot of mod
ern times was Cardinal Mezzofanti.
He was a talker! He knew only
seventy-eight languages and dialects,
and talked fifty-six"
"That'll do, you silly goose. Get
out of here
I'm what direction? The deacon,
FlaVia Gioja, who improved the COM
pass about the year 1900, could GER
tainly tell me-"
Whats the matter? You're get
ting the brain fever, fellow"
What, if I have the brain fever,
go and get the fire engines which
were first introduced by the Cister-
clan monks, and the Capuchins were
down to the seventeenth century the
first firemen of Paris"
eff you don't shut up now. you'll
fly through the window, you Internal
rascal
In aerial heights. Oh, truly. The
first balloon was made by the monk
Berthold Gusmac sixty years before
Montgolfieri, and in 1920 this monk
assembled with his balloon in the pres
ence of all the lords and courtiers of
Portugal. What do you clean your
eyeglasses for, Professor? They are
also an invention of the black devils
and were invented in the thirteenth
century by the Dominican Alexander
Spina. Are you in a hurry, that you
look at your watch? You shouldn't
do that, because it is an invention of
the priests. The first clock is from
the ecclesiastical writer, Cassiodorus
(505), but his invention was improved
upon by Sylvester IT,, whom l men
toned before. The first astronomical
clock was made by the Abbot Walling-
ford in 1916. Now I'll go. l see you're
hot, Professor, and the gas lights
downtown are turned on. Oh, yes,
Professor, l almost forgot to tell you
that the Jesuits invented the gas light,
the Jesuits this 'natio lucifuga.' With
out any doubt the Jesuits invented
and introduced it in 1894 at Stony
hurst, England, and the Jesuit DUNN
established the first gas company in
1915 in Preston. Now, goodbye, Pro-
fessor. Kindly excuse. Oh, | see you
bought a new bicycle? BY the way,
the first bicycle was built by the priest
Phantom in 1845. Good night, Profess
sor."
WHAT CAME NE HOUArNuIMN TUE