Pine Bluff daily graphic. (Pine Bluff, Ark.) 1893-1942, 1914-05-03
l[LLINGER's INSOMNIA
Nv DOROTHY DUNN.

reason whatever Steep "oulo SUI
- Desert him and when it aban-
guy u.a Kellinger it abandoned the rest
ouss family. meaning Mrs. Kellinger
nj the bulldog.
" Whom hon Mrs. Kellinger would an
,nnce sadly to their acquaintance
~. Tom had begun waking up at
~. .rs' o'clock and staying awake till six
", mt going to sleep at all until half
V.,,.three It was exactly as tragic as
l y. she was breaking the news
.hot he had fallen a victim to the
s,icide habit or had begun numbering
.aonle again after a short vacation.
Those to whom she spoke always had
an uneasy feeling that they ought to
send flowers or something.
Kellinger absolutely refused to 60
- the doctor about it. He said the
nbvsician would merely ask him If he
lad embezzled any trust funds or had
ANYTHING else on his conscience, and
vould appear annoyed because he
hadn't
'Tts just nerves." Kellinger would
sav in martyred tones. II wake up
and then | begin thinking and / can't
stop. worry about what would hap
men if ten years from now long, hard
winter should set in and I didn't have
any work. Then there Is Uncle Dave,
who has just invested all his money in
q gold mine, and what if he should
lose it! And think of the sufferings
Of the people over there in the Bal
kan regions during this cruel war!"
If Tom didn't have such an absurd
" tender heart" Mrs. Kellinger
would sigh proudly.
That is, she sighed proudly till the
sleepless streak had continued for
some time, and then she grew peevish
from lack of slumber. At first she
would read aloud to Kellinger or
would arise and, descending to the
kitchen, would concoct unholy two
o'clock lunches of fried egg sand
wiches to lull him to sleep. Later on
she took to making remonstrances.
Following these heart to heart talks.
Kellinger gave up coffee and cigars
and once in while managed to sleep
the night through, but more often he
didn't.
If you were twins, now" Mrs. Kel-
linger murmured reproachfully one
night at three o'clock at Kellinger.
who sat propped up socially against
the bedpost with the reading light on
full blast. II suppose l shouldn't mind
being awake like this. I'd expect it.
But don't mind telling you secretly
that I'm (yawn) getting aw-aw (yawn)
fully tired of it! I'm just dead for
sleep"
Are you sleepy, dear?" Kellinger
asked, in hurt tones. What wouldn't
give to feel that way!"
Whereupon Mrs. Kellinger felt
ashamed of her desire to sleep and
read aloud from "The Theory of Hot
Water Heating" until she toppled
over, sound asleep.
Kellinger really suffered. He said
1t kept up much longer he would
60 crazy he knew. All the Kellingers'
friends were intensely interested In
the situation. BY their advice Kel-
niger drank hot milk before retiring.
drank cold milk, put hot water bag
under his head and then an ice bag,
stood on his head and walked ON his
hands, breatheI in six times aud out
Blk times, crossed his fingers and
counted jumping sheep.
When they were out in the even
ing Mrs. Kellinger had the habit OF
watching her husband nervously, and
II his eyelid twitched she would grab
the person next to her and moan:
Tom is going to have another Sleep
less night" she would say. "He is
getting the blinks! Poor man! l
don't know what is going to become
OF him! Isn't it awful! Dearie!" to
tne afflicted one, "sit over here where
you won't get the cigar smoke-N
makes you nervous, know!"
All OF this happened before the ar
rival OF Mrs. Shandle, who had known
helllnger at the notwithstanding age
OF ten, and had never outgrown the
haolt. The first time she was present
AZ one of these sad exhibitions she
transflxed the Kellingers with dis
susted glance and spoke Her mind.
>, Stur and nonsense, Tommy KEEL
hnger!" said she. II never heard Of
such tomfoolery! l never saw a per-
son put on the airs you do! Are you
any better than any one else that you
cah sleep as the rest of us do? You
say mat your life is without reproach,
ana II it is there's no excuse for your
not sleeping. The idea! Smoke that
cigar and drink that cup Of coffee and
80 nome and 60 to bed and go to
sieep! You're perfect goose! I
tnlnk the trouble is that your head is
only Dig enough for one idea at time.
ana you've grown attached to this
sleepless idea and hate to tell 1t to
move on. I'm ashamed Of you! And
your wife is an easy mark"
- think she is horribly rude!" Mrs.
hellinger kept saying all the way
nome. She doesn't understand your
sensitive nature at ALL"
NUM-" queried Kellinger-and
yawned. Whereupon he went to sleep
when his head touched the pillow and
MIS-. Kellinger had to set the bulldog