The herald., 1914-01-15
Courtship VS.. Marriage.

And I'm not sure but he's right Ger
tainly there is none to deny that courtship
has infinite advantage over marriage in
SO far as mere happiness is concerned
The dream of every engaged pair is that
their happiness will increase with mar
riage. whereas cold reason ought to make
ii clear to them that the very opposite
will happen.
Now, mind I'm not cynic on the SUBJ
1ect OF love and marriage and / would
not II could consciously make a flippant
remark anent them. l am merely giving
voice TO the dictates OF reason and COM
mon sense. Talk and sentimentalize
though we do about the happiness to be
found in matrimony. the cold fact re-
mains that most OF us married find our
self facing the same unsatisfied longings
which beset US single.
The kingdom of heaven is within us, so
the saying goes. Never was truer word
spoken than that Especially Is it true
with relation to the heaven we all look
forward TO finding in married life. II we
ourselves do not individually have the Sc
cret Of happiness within our own hearts
we will never find joy with any mate, how
ever deeply and truly we may love that
mate. If we do not have within ourselves
the faculty for finding happiness alone we
may never hope to find it in company with
the beloved one. This applies equally
whether we marry when We are twenty
or seventy
The prime essential reason why so few
persons are happy. though married. is be-
cause too much is expected Of marriage
Now marriage, we all know-or, at least
We ought to knOw-was never designed
with view to making anybody happy Its
! purpose was and is solely one of expedi-
ency. the maintenance Of property rights
and the protection of children. Those
couples who cavil against marriage, pro-
nouncing it a failure because it has not
| lifted them into the seventh heaven of bliss
and kept them suspended there TIL king
| dom come simply confess themselves as
possessed of the cerebral capacity of a pair
| OF guinea pigs.
II. however. We judge marriage upon its
true merits and as to its fulfillment Of
the functions for which it is intended
We must acknowledge it to be about the
most perfect and efficacious institution
or the Devil (Your choice of the latter
trio will depend upon YOUR individual
point of view and incidentlly your own
individual experience with said institu-
tion)
Most OF us. however. require romance
in our lives. Our souls cry out for color,
for adventure, for experience These
things are as necessary to our mental and
spiritual existence as food and drink Ia
to our bodily sustenance. Indeed, It Is
this very need that drives most of us into
contracting marriage at the early age We
usually do. 1t is not so much that we
want to marry as that We want the things
that antedate that condition. We long
for the thrills of courtship. the joys and
the uncertainties OF the love making era.
the zest of the chase. the glory of con-
quest All these our hearts and souls,
our whole being In fact, demands.
Such a thing. however. as matrimony
and the responsibility OF raising a family
has never entered our heads. Nor would IL
enter our heads. nine times out of ten.
were 1t not forced upon US by the con-
ventions which govern our social life.
Reginald and Gladys would be perfectly
content to allow the courtship to 60 on
Indefinitely.
Gladys has led Reginald a chase, and
Reginald has given Gladys grand
rush" He has sent her flowers often
enough to excite the wonder and envy of
all her unmarried women friends; he has
fetched and carried for her, and done #
SO conspicuously. that there is no doubt
left In the mind OF anybody that he Is
heels over head in love. They have both
had glorious time, and IL they were let
alone the chances are that their love af.
fair would In the natural order of things
peter out" and In six months time each
would be equally In love with somebody
else But right here old Madame Conven-
ton steps in and insists that the young
couple shall announce their engagement.
Nine times out Of ten the engagement In
announced, they marry and live more or
less unhappily ever after.