davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
These Draws.

Col, Sigismund l.. Goodwin, the
well-known tactician, said at dinner
In Lincoln:
"A good deal of the war news-that
from Berlin no less than that from
London, Paris and Petrograd-reminds
me irresistibly of little Willie.
Papa said little Willie, looking
up from the Evening Bulletin extra
special. papa, what is drawn bat
tle?
A drawn battle, my son. the ia
Their replied, is one wherein the en-
envy WINS"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04

Rankin--My wife has thought of a
great scheme
Phyle-What IL itg
Rankin-She seeds all her cherries
on the front porch In the evening.
Phyle--Is that any advantage?
Rankin should say SO; she doesn't
have 10 be half SO particular In the
dark. and We get twice as many cher.
ries.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
A Frost.

"woodhaIl 649s7. Is the line busy,
dearie?" said Mr.. Gadders In tone OF
voice he thought irresistible TO all fe
males.
Nope. the line amt busy" an
swered the operator, but | am, sc
don't talk like fathead during bust
ness hours"
Having paused long enough to adj
minister this well-deserved rebuke,
she connected Mr.. Gadders with
Brookfield G8794.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04

tu IUT IUuI yttfI
and was in nervous state and very
much depressed. The Doctors medi-
cine didn't help me. so / decided to
try Dodds Kidney Pills, and I cannot
say enough to express my relief and
thankfulness. az they cured me. Dia'
mond Dinner Pills cured me Of Con.
stipation."
Dodds Kidney Pills. SOC. per box at
your dealer or 0odds Medicine Co.,
Buffalo. N. Y. Write for Household
Hints. also music of National Anthem
English and German words) and rec
ipes for dainty dishes. All 3 sent free.
Adv.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04

Henry writes that he's joined the
Alpha Beta Etas.s said Mr.. Dawkina.
o selfmade man. What's thatg"
''It'a a Greek letter fraternity" an
swrred Mrs. Dawkins.
"umph'" snorted Mr.. Dagkina. I'D
like 10 know why he couldn't Join
something American. instead of TAX
ing up with n lot Of foreigners"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
To clsse Door NolselessIx,

In severe cases of illness where
the patient is disturbed by the noise
made In closing the door. tie one cor
ner Of a handkerchief around the
knob on one side of the door, and the
opposite corner around the knob on
the other side. The door will now
close noiselessly on the folds Of the
handkerchief.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
Rleh pieklnea

The British naval officer was on his
way to the bank with several bags
OF prize money.
Halo" exclaimed a friend. what
have you there7"
These replied the Britleher. are
tho fortunes of war tlsasf You've so
often read ahout'--i36ston Evening
Transcript.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04

There's many a alp betwlxt the
cup and the lip. you know"
Yes. I've heard that quotation be
fore. but lately I've been impressed by
the fact that there Is many slip be-
tween the initial tango lesson and the
attainment Of q certain degree OF pro-
ficiency as q tango dancer"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
$4,000
REWARD

For any Information regarding the where
abouts of Jake Silvcrman. missing from
home since Saturday September 5th. 1914.
When las; seen was at Union Station. Mid
way. ST. Louis. Mo. Description Of boy as
follows; Age "a. height FIVE feet. weight
100 pounds. medium built. grayish-blue deep
set eyes. heavy medium brown hair. scar on
b dy from appendicitis operation. two gold
crown teeth. one on lower left and one on
lower right side, and seven amalgam filings
Please notify Mrs Minnie SiIverrnan, his
mother, aro3 Market Street, ST. Louis, Mo.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04

This war In Europe Is terrible"
Il agree with you. SIN. I'm more
fortunate than some people"
How IL thatf-
I'm not acquainted with any re-
tired military men who insist on tell
Ing me how II ought TO be fought"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
A Chronic Kicker.

MY ncighbor has put away his lawn
mower and the cold days have com
PEELED him 10 close his windows. so
can hardly hear his photograph"
II guess you feel pretty good now"
"oh, there's always something to
bother fellow. The steam pipes are
humping SO don't have moments
peace"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04

you are charged with being intoxI
Gated"
Your honor. my wife made me go
shopping with her yesterday after
noon"
Il see. And after the dry goods
stores closed you continued to shop
alone In the wet ones"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
Careful Worker.

City Editor-"For a beginner, thas
new reporter seems very particular
not to make any mistakes" Assist
ant--"Yes; / told him to write ON
one side of the paper. and he wantee
to know which side!"-Judge.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
A STUMBLING Block.

We'll. did you settle your argument
with Colonel Whiffersby about the
Russian campaign against the Aus
trians7"
No. We decided 10 suspend our ar
gument until we learned how 10 pro-
nounce Prxcmysl."
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
Precious Finance.

Johnny" exclaimed the careful
mother. You have shaken nearly all
the money out OF your tin bank"
"Yes'm. I'm not taking any chances
on having my little bank bawied out
for boarding the stun"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
A FastldIous Pun.

I'm sorry we can't suit you in a
dog collar, madam
"I'm sorry. too" said the lady. ''bu.
Fido doesn't seem to care for anything
you have In stock louisville Cour.
ier.Journal.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
a proverb susnended.

'No news is good news" said the
ready-made philosopher
Ordinarily" replied the practical
person. but not when there IL con-
petent stan Of censors on the Job"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
oosslna2 Nexerl

MEN don't gossip" said the supe..
rior person.
NO" replied his wife; they let the
women gossip. The men merely come
home to dinner and listen eagerly to
any news their wives may have picked
up"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04

Are you able to make both ends
meetg"
Il should say not. It's been so long
since the cost OF living has met my
salary that II they should come to-
gether now they'd meet as strangers"
Detroit Free Press.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
WHY They cbeered.

who are those people who are
cheering?" asked the recruit as the
soldiers marched to the train.
Those" replied the veteran, ARE
the people who are not going. Puck
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
Juatlhed Now.

Those tortuous streets Of Boston
are indicated at last"
How so?"
1T is impossible to speed automo
biles on them"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
Just So.

Where are you going with those
garden implements?'
81 don't want 'em any more. Shall
try to pawn EN-"
81 see. Going to hang up the shovel
and the hoe."-Louisville Courier
Journal
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
At the Ball.

How was last nights AFFAIR.""
Twenty practiced the tango and
one couple danced It." A
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
A Neat Comeback.

Jokeleigh Visiting Subbubs)--And
you have a grindstone, too. VIII 1t
put an edge on a dull appetite?
Enthusiastically IL you turn the
handle long enough.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04

Inflammation OF
the bladder, La
ter / became SO
much worse that
I consulted a
doctor, who said
that I had Dia-
betes and that
my heart was af-
fected. I suffer-
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
suoe.fSciaI EstImst.a.

"You can't Judge man by his coat"
mo. But in the light OF present
styles. 1t is more generous to Judge
him by his coat than by his hat"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04

How IN Wasserby's credit In town."
ut must be very low by this time.
When was here .nree years ago he
was giving 1t oxygen"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
SUFFERED FOR FOUR YEARS.

Mr.. ]. NJ. Sinclair of Olivehill.
Tenn. writes: Il strained my back,
which weakened my kidneys and
caused an awful bad backache and
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04

The fellow who tells a girl her voice
has the flexbility of violin may be
limiting to be her beau. III
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04

II a girl wants to do little mission
airy work she might 60 into the
kitchen and help mother.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04

Willing TO Take Chance.
I'D come over and kiss you, only
I'm afraid of upsetting the boat"
Il can swim, HERBERT"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04

YOUR OWN DRUGGIST WILL TELL YOU
Try Murine Bye Remedy for Red, Weak, Watery
Just rye Comfort Write for hook of the Eye
By mall Free. Murine Eye Remedy Co.. Chicago.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour
feet with which to do thy kicking.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04

De Quill couldn't get a seat In
the cars today
Do Witt--ohl that's a complaint OF
long standing.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-04
Important to Mothers

Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that 1t
Evening star., 1914-02-05
PESSINISM

never knew a man tn sing or
wear an optimistic smile. when
gong eut - doors /" bring load
II stovcuood from the pile. I've
studied men for many wears and
never one I've known has worn
CHEEKY smile when neighbors.
steers broke in his field and ate
his corn. No man has ever danced
Jig of happiness, full we'll ]
know. when trying to escort a
pig the way it didn't want to go
No sunshine lights the eve or
brow OF any man who leaves his
bed on snowy morn, to milk a COW
in some old windy. draftv shed.
Oh. there are times-not far be-
tween. when nortals cannot sing
and smile, when they are feeling
dour and mean, and wish that
sackcloth were i'll style. And then
the optimist who wise will hide
himself behind d cloud foolhardy
IS the man who tries to force his
sunshine on the crowd. In our
town there's d Sunny Jim who
works the sunshine tap too much :;
he has beefsteak on his gllm. and
cannot walk without a crutch.
WALT MASON.
Evening star., 1914-02-05
SIOUX WAR SONGS SUNG
AT NATIONAL MUSEUM
Miss Frances Densmore Entertains
Members of the Anthropologi-
cal Society.

SIOUX war songs were sung and war
stories were shown before members of
the Anthropologicai Society by Miss
Frances Densmore al the National Mu-
scum Tuesday afternoon Miss Dens-
more has been making Il special study
of Indian muse for the bureau of
ethnoiogy for some years She is a train
ed musician, in the civilized sense and
has made u speciality of Indian music
with view 10 finding out its peculiari-
ties and preserving many of the fast
vanishing melodies
She goes into the field with a phono-
graph and a musical note book. and col
lects the tribal songs and their accom-
panying legends almost as a botanist
would collect flowers The series present.
I'd to the Anthropologi cal Society YES
terGay was the result of d seasons work
among the Sioux. There was a phono-
graph record Of an Indian woman sing
ing a death song for her husband. who
had been killed in battle.
There was series of pictures showing
many of the older warriors of the tribe
and many of the native Indian drawings
by which the old men had recorded their
exploits i'll fights against the Crows.
Each one of these lantern slide pictures
had several songs going with it which
the lecturer sang while telling the
stories of the picture writings Most of
the songs were wild, quavering minors.
and some had strange changes OF time
and curious 'accidentals' in the score.
+ The old men We're proud of their eX-
ploits. most of which consisted of steal
ing horses from the Crows. one expedi-
ton recorded resulted in stealing eighty
horses and taking 100 scaIps in a raid
of sixteen days. Another memorable ex-
plot stealing sixty horses from the
midst OF the Crow camp by one man in a
single night.
Evening star., 1914-02-05
Church MEMBERSHIP
SHOWS STEADY GROWTH
Net Enrolment Increase for Past
Year Reached Total
of 618,oOo.

The net increase in the number of per-
sons who are actually enrolled as mem
bers of Christian churches within conti-
mental United States was 81S.09O during
1913. according to figures just given out
by DR. II. X. Carroll in charge of the To-
cal office of the Federal Council of
Churches of Christ in America. This is
1.S per cent
Of this growth Methodists gained most
of all or 10000. The next largest in
crease was made by the Roman Cath
olics, with 212,5oO. The Baptist growth
was 64,6oo. the Presbyterian 45, 900. the
Lutheran Sc. 100. the Disciples q. 800, and
the Episcopal 16,5oo. The Roman Cath
olc figures follow the government census
plan of deducting Il per cent from Off
cial Roman Catholic population figures
for children not Yet confirmed. Such
plan makes these figures correspond with
Others and represent actual membership
of communicates
Evening star., 1914-02-05
MAIL BOXES ON STREET CARS.
Postmaster Merritt Authorized to
Try Out Novel Device.

Postuastrr Merritt Of th. Washington
post office has been authorized by First
Assistant Postmaster General Roper to
rcrmit and supervise d test of mail boxes
on street cars to he made for a limited
time. This authority was asked by
Baltimore company which is TO arrange
with the car lines and equip the cars for
the test II IS said the Capital Traction
company declined to permit boxes to be
attached To its cars. but that the Wash
ingtun Railway and Electric Company
has agreed to the test on one Of its lines
probably the one between this city and
Laurel No definite announcement of the
fact has yet been made.
The new box IS TO be attached to the
car eit. nearest the motorman. 1t has
an open top. SO any person may drop a
letter into the box the passes him
tas has been demonstrated. 1t Is said, at
a speed OF from three to four miles per
hour. thus the schedule of service will
IL no wise he hampered In this way
persons living along the route of the cars
fronl Laurel TO Washington will be ena-
bled 70 mail their letters every fifteen
minutes when the car passes. and have
the letters taket Immediately to the main
post Office in Washington. whence they
Will be forwarded TO destination.
Evening star., 1914-02-05
BUREAU BUILDING PROGRESSES
Engraving and Printing Structure
Is Nearly Completed.

Construction work on the new bureau
Of engraving and printing is so far COM
pletej that the frame building. used as
head. quarters for the work, which has
stood III front of the new building since
work was started, was recently torn down
and the material carted away. It is un-
derstood that within the next few weeks
the new bureau will be really for the in
stailation of machinery. part of which
already has been delivered. About the
exterior Of the new bureau the grading
and sowing of grass seed has been com
pieted. Men are working in the courts
Of III. building facing 18th street. grad
ing thcln and getting heH in proper or
der to be tHrsed over to the Treasury
Department officials.
TN" new bureau j. one OF the largest
Gos eru'uent t54iIdinSs in the city and is a
great improvement To the section OF the
city in which it is located.
Evening star., 1914-02-05
Statistics More Reliable.

Within the past year tremendous prog
ress, the report says. has been made in
both Protestant and Catholic commu-
mons in the way of more reliable statis-
tics. This Is true of church membership
and also of reports regarding money. The
home and foreign mission boards took in
hand during 1913 the compiling of sta
tistics covering gifts to missions, and the
Federal Council of Churches, represent
ing more than 100000 actual Protes-
tant commandments issue for the first
time the membership statistics compiled
by DIR. Carroll. who was in charge of the
government census of churches i'll 1890
The figures herewith are those of DIR.
Carroll and are issued over the authority
of the Federal Council. Roman Catholic
statistics, formerly given out in even fig
ures, are now more carefully compiled
than ever, and given out by many Cath
olic dioceseS in exact figures.
Following are the largest religious bod
les in the United States, grouped under
family names, and they are all that have
actual members exceeding 100000: Roman
Catholic, l3.E'o.::4; Methodist, 7,l25.o5'
Baptist. l,924,G.i2; Lutheran. 2.::':,S, ~
Presbyterian. 2,o27,l93 Disciples OF
Christ. LOIS, 1863; Protestant Episcopal
997, 4p1; CONGREGATIONAL 1iS.:4o.
Evening star., 1914-02-05
employees ARE BANQUETED.
Tom Moore, Proprietor of the
Garden Theater. Is Host

banquet was given last night 10 the
employees of the Garden Theater their
triends and members of their families. by
ION Moore. proprietor of that estab-
lshment- Nearly 100 persons were pres
ent, and number of informal speeches
were delivered.
Mr. Moore delivered an address, en-
phasizins the necessity of cooperation
between employer and empIoye The ban
quet turned out to be the forerunner of a
Tom Moore Welfare Club about to
be organized. the membership of which
ls to be made up of Mr. Moores employees.
Evening star., 1914-02-05

What the department would like to get
hold of is some cheap crop that can be
grown annually and will not take years
to mature as does wood pulp Corn stalks
make a very satisfactory paper except
that they carry a great deal of dirt. One
of the best annual crop paper stocks
that has been tried so far is rice straw,
because this comes from the field very
clean owing to its having been grown in
water But if good detachable ink is
developed the wood pulp conservation
problem will be largely solved and the
price of waste newspaper will take Il
jump.
Evening star., 1914-02-05
KEEPING WITH By Pop
LOCAL MENTION.
<Mt >EMENTs TONIGHT.

National Raymond Hitchcock, in The
Beauty shop" S;1' pm
Heiasco Marrying Money" SO PIN
Columbia Musical Spectacle and his
torieai pageant. Columbia by amateur
play ers. for benefit Noel House. S:15 pm
Keith -High-cIass vaudeville, s;15 pm
Peli's-Pou Players, in The Two or
phans. - pm.
Gayetv NJ Reeves and his Beauty
Show" s;15 pm.
cosmos Vaudeville and pictures; COR
tinuous Show. to 1910 pm.
Casino Vaudeville and pictures; con-
tinuuus SHOW. 10 to > $50 to 1o:i0.
Gardeu-Feature films. noon to IL pm
Crandall's- Motion pictures. II am. to
II pm
Evening star., 1914-02-05
PRESIDENT SEES PAGEANT.
Columbia Program Is Shortened
and Improved in Many Ways.

President Wilson attended the presen-
tation of Columbia" the historical pa
Eeant. at the Columbia Theater last
night The program for the second nights
performance was shorter than on the
opening night and the production was i'm
proved in many ways.
Christian Hemmick took the part OF
George Washington and will do the same
tonight. Mrs. LLOYD Bowers took the
part Of Martha Washington. Mrs. A. y.
Talbot will take the part tonight.
Mss Rhoda Fullam. daughter Of Capt
Fiilaln. T. > y. and Marcus Jordan
viii dance d Speciality tonight in the ca
hartt scene.
Evening star., 1914-02-05
ROBBED OF HER PoCKETBooK.
Mrs. James R. Gates Is Attacked by
Negro on Decatur Street.

While walking on Decatur street be-
tween Florida avenue and 2lst street
northwest last night, Mrs. James r.
Gates. 222s Decatur street northwest, was
attacked by negro and robbed of her
pocketbook containing $3.50 The man
made his escape and the police are look
ing for him
Mrs. Gates told the police the man sud
denly appeared at her side and almost be-
fore she realized II he snatched her
pocketbook. and ran away. She described
the thief as being about twenty-five years
old. i've feet eight inches tall. smooth
face and wearing a dark suit and cap
Evening star., 1914-02-05
Steady Growth of Churches.

These eight bodies contain 34,ooo,0oo OF
the 37,2so.0O0 of actual members OF
churches within the United States. 1t is
shown by the statistics just made public
that all of the large bodies grow with
fair steadiness.
DR. Carroll explains that he was UNI
able to secure statistics for Christian Sci
ence churches for 1919, and so he gives
those for 1872 as s5E'6. Lat .er Day
saints. or what are known as Mormons
for the region covered by them. viz. Utah
and some adjoining states, he gives al
$4,000 He estimates the Jews in the
country 100000, of which New York
contains about 100000. making this city
the greatest center of Jewish population
in the world.
Evening star., 1914-02-05
SCHEME TO PRODUCE
INK THAT WILL FADE
Suggested Plan for Utilizing the
Pulp Made of Discarded
Newspapers.
Black Print Renders the Material
Unfit for Manufacture of
White Paper.

How would YOU like to receive your
daily paper printed i'll ink guaranteed tc
fade out in a week or be washed out
by the rain if the newsboy happened to
leave it out i'll a shower? That is d
scheme on which some of the conserva-
tionists are trying to interest the De-
partment OF Agriculture. 1t is claimed
that if newspapers could be printed in
a bleacha BILE ink it would raise the value
of the waste newspaper considerably and
would save the immense drain on the
forests in furnishing wood pulp for paper.
Some of the officials of the department
are strong for the scheme and some
say there Is nothing III it. There has
been a special division of the depart
nent for several years devoted to paper :
making. 1t has tried everything in the
papermaking line, from corn stalks to
wood pulp.
Dr. y. y Cobb, the chief of the div-
sion. says that of course every one will
agree that the greatest waste of paper
making material is in the newspaper
business 1t takes acres of spruce trees
to furnish enough white paper for sin
gle edition of big paper like The Star,
and when there are hundreds OF daily
papers all oVer the country using up
wood pulp at the same rate the inroads
OH the forests are enormous.
Color Is Permanent.
The chief difficulty i'll using old news
paper to make fresh print paper is the
fact that printing ink is one of the col
ors that will not come out. so that il
printed newspapers are used for paper
making the resulting product is a dull
gray that is tit only for cardboard on
some tinted paper where the color vii
not matter. This is where the detachable
printing ink comes in. What some Of the
experimenters are trying to do is to make
AN ink that will he black enough for
practical printing and yet that has not
the lamp black and oil in ii that cannot
be bIeached out to admit of the paper be-
ing used again.
Many experiments have been tried with
aniline inks, but few of them have been
permanent enough. Some trials are being
made now with Il printing system in
which an electric current is run through
the roller of the printing press and
brings out color from the paper wherever
the type touches it. One objection that
has been made to this process from a
practical standpoint is that so far the
Evening star., 1914-02-05
Tighten the Household Duties.

1904 q. &. \. Nuddimnn & Co. GIG 18th.
Electric and tiaS Fixtures and Repairs.
Evening star., 1914-02-05

Electric flashlights save Closet Fires.
carroll Electric Co. 5li 18th ST.
Evening star., 1914-02-05
Widows Named as Beneficiaries.

Three wills filed late yesterday after
noon for probate name as sole bene-
ficaries the widows of the deceased. John
l. thancey leaves his entire estate to his
wife Emily. Minnie l.. Coon is given all
the property of her husband, David l..
Coon, and John Doyle devised to Grace
Stubbs Doyle his entire estate. In each
case the widow is named also as cx-
ecutrix.