Connecticut western news., 1914-04-30
The W urra Wurra Club

| DdblleSCdT6Sl blle WdIllke and patriotic sexton of the Club, with broom and taper in hand, went about his task of lighting up, with the pre- occupied air of man who thinks he is thinking, and thinking hard. And it was even so-he was thinking about the war in Mexico. He had been read ing in the papers about the shriek of the shrapnel and the clash of arms, and his mind was plum-full of war. AS he went about his task of lighting up the club-room Q group of members entered the room, so quietly that the sexton didn't helr them until they shut the door behind them; then he whirled like lightning, ,ok aim with his broom, and commanded in commanding voice: "Who goes there Say 'Tampico' quick or I'll shoot youw But as the members laughed bolster ously he came to himself and explain ed: "Well, did you everl Really, thought l was doing sentry duty down ill Mexico, and the password was 'Tampico.' You'll excuse me, won't you?'' Clint Roraback, with mock fright, held up both hands, "Shoot if you must, this old bald-head but don't shoot with broom," he said. That made the sexton real mad, and he threw down his broom and went right home, leaving the meeting to run it. self as best it could.
 The President, MT. Edward W. War ner, arrived at that instant, and i'm mediately took charge of things and opened the ceremonies. He announced first that the singing of the Opening Ode would be omitted, whereupon Sam Camp stood up and sang it, right off the reel, ill such an irresistibly funny style that the chair asked him to do it again-but he wouldn't. The chair then said: "We will now listen to the reading of the minutes of the present meeting," whereupon the secre- tary, MT. Fradk Coons, immediately took his record books and marched out of the room with them, and the chair proceeded to declare the meeting open for business. It is in order to state, at this point, that the proceedings us here set foith were chronicled for this paper by Judge Ford, who volunteered to fill the place so suddenly and unexpect- edly vacated by MT. Coons.-Ed.l
 "Charlie Adam gla4ced out of the window, turned pale, grabbed his hat and bottle of milk, rushed down the aisle and out of the door. Al. Briggs said he had been run into, run over, run down, run up trees and tele- phone poles, and busted more har- mess and wagons, because of automo- piles, than any other man in Canaan, and when he got so he could run his new Rec he would take hand at the running-over business and if the auto held together somebody would find out that Briggs's livery stable was on the map. The chair reminded the mem- bers that there was no business before the meeting, whereupon Henry Ives got up and moved that the Club organize an old-fashioned May-pole dance for the first of May, remarking that he wanted to dance around the pole as he did when he was no bigger than June FRhoades. Clint Roraback seconded the motion, saying he felt that way about it, himself. Lew Rhoades also spoke in favor of it, and the motion | prevailed.
 "John s. Reed moved that tho Club place itself on record as in favor of fighting the Mexican war to the bitter end, and that the secretary be instruct ed to write to the President, assuring him of the sympathy and moral support of the Club, ill this crisis. The fat member got up. Said he: Mister Pres dent, I dunno about endorsin' tn l Ia nm account O tn squabble over shootin' a sloot of twenty-one guns. I'm Ill fav'r O. givin' 'em a thrashin' on gin n'ral principles, becoz they're achin' fir 1t an becoz they've earnt it good an plenty. This is tn sit'wation, as l understan' it: A lot O them Mexican Japs arrested some of our Yankee boys, but let lem go again. Wilson telegrafts down to Hewerty, Jest becoz ye done that you must shoot sloot O twenty one guns fir tn 'merican flag" "All right" sez Hew, "pl do it, but you must shoot a sloot to tn Mexican Jap flag, t balance it up" "I'll do that, " sez Wilson, but I'll do my sloot shoot in after you're all through with your sloot.' "Not on VT life, '" says Hew, "you must shoot your sloot while I'm shootin' mine.'' Great heavens, manp' sez Wilson, "can't you see that would be reckodnizin' you-I can't do that. I'll sloot you after you sloot mo, but I can't recl1odnize you by slootin you whilst you're slootin' me-not ac- cordin' t interstate commerce law. '" An so tn hull slootin' nonsense is called off, am we've gone [ war, an it's goin' t cost us hundred million dollars when we might've got oIt of it fir tn price of about ten pound O pow der if Hewerty or somebody hadn't