The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1914-04-16

1 a grade school teacher asked the
class, "When is the best time to take
a bath?" and an 8-year-old boy re-
sponded, "m the summer time
The trouble with Eve was that she
had nothing to do. Sooner or later
every idle woman goes out into the
orchard and picks an apple off the
wrong tree.
If you are going to run for Office
give your pocketbook to your wife
and your reputation to the dogs Then
you will have something left when
the campaign is over.
Remember, the much abused dan
delion isn't so bad after all As an
article Of food, boiled greens you know
it is nourishing and palatable as well.
Cut down the high cost of living by
eating dandelions.
As to the open threats of civil war
in Ireland, the London government
seems to be meeting the situation
fuIl,t a.. ;nfoI1irovtT,, &c Dro-;Ja,,t D.,
chanan met a similar crisis in Wash
ington So years ago.
Eddie, my dear, what are you cry
ing for" said a lady to her little
boy, who had just returned from
church. Because the minister says
that we must all be born again and
am afraid | shall be born a girl
next time"
when the missus and | get into al
,onfab let her have the last word"
'onfesses Old Bill Misgivens. "But
am going to turn over a new leaf,
md settle arguments with her here
lfter in Oklahoma style. The Okla
iona style of settling a friendly ar
.ument is by splitting at a mark"
1t remained for a woman to find the
asy way to take care of her over
raft at the bank. As soon as she
vas sent a notice she mailed the
asher a check on that same over
raft to pay for it. And the cashier
eng married himself, simply went
} her husband and got the money
ithout trying to explain.
If men could keep the money they
aste during the first 10 days of the
onth they'd soon be rich And if
lie politicians really want to reduce
e high cost of living and benefit all
they will abolish the first
days and have each month begin
/ the 18th. Bill collectors will be
from using the streets and
leys after the 18th and the mil
nnium will have arrived.
A small girl near Emmett said to -
r mother: Mamma, when | get r
2 I'm going to be a school teacher" u
hich recalls the story of the two
tie girls quarrel. One of them /
id: when | grow up | am going
get married and have three nice
tie children" "And when | grow =
;" said the other one, al am going
be school teacher and whip your =
rec little children" An argument ~
lowed which produced tears from
: first girl as she said: "That won't Ii
fair, and l will not like you one
if you whip my poor little chill re'
IN" n
One day | stopped to take look in M
first class agricultural book. But a
a chapter could | see that told -
'ut the Blame Fool Tree. The
me Fool Tree will look around and
Ike itself and lightly say: 81 know
.haw is on the way!" When the far
shines bright and the skies are mo
e, and the south wind whiskers a ~ ~
@ or two; the Blame Fool Tree 1852
enely smiles and begins to talk of -
summer styles. 1t bids farewell :
the winter gloom, and it says it den
soon be in full bloom, and puts bui
buds on joyous plan as it says gag
'oh Pooh" to the weather man. son
ng comes blizzard fierce and CIR
and the buds curl up in the bit Bid
cold, and the market news sings Sea
old refrain, "The gosh durn fruit
p has failed againl" When tempt -
to think that you know more than WA
old folks knew who have gone 5;
ore, when you think that fortune serN
uld come to you when experience NJ :,
S it is not yet due, OH put on your