The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1914-04-29

credit. finance ~ industry. The Two |
most used and most abused words in
the language are efficiency and
privilege" The efficiency expert
says to the harassed railways official
or manufacturer You do not require
RELIEF from int0lerablc burdens. n
YOU understood your business you
would carry them with cosc and prof
it In other words, speed up labor.
and this the efficiency fraud knows
that labor unions very properly viii
not permit employers, especially cor
porations. t. do. Though laws are
equal and all ave the same chance,
yet In our new vocabulary prosperity
becomes 'priNilcgc' and DANGEROUS tu
the public welfare.
Secretary Lamar Ut the cabinet OF
Mr.. Cleveland made "a speech az q
J famous dinner In New York. The
! speeches were long and serious l
I came on at last. and C. relieve the
situation INDUCED ln some fun az the
expense of those who had preceded
me. including Mr.. Lamar. lie was
much worried for fcar my forced con-
struction would be taken seriously
and complained that a cabinet minis
ter speaks for his administration and
for the time IS the mouthpiccc Of his
president Mr. Cleveland enforced
this view and toid me that one Of his
cabinet who was To- oratc ON "a patri-
otto occasion !u the south submitted
TO him the manuscript In advance
The president said to him IT is ull
right. but will take three hours. and
no New York audience would stand
that To which the minister am
anr...A HHH- .H...HN- sH.w-NUa. -..N.-
cnce wants Ave hours and insists on
three"
THAT rulc 81 the responsibility ~
the Cabinet was iu force long before
Mr.. Cleveland, but docs not prevail
with the new freedom. The Postmas-
ter general advocates the taking over
by the government of the telegrnphs
and the telephones. since this WAS
done IN England the telephone scr,-
ice has become 50 bad that churches
complain Of the Increase of profanity.
and In Paris the service b. so impos-
sihlc that they are in despair of the
republic. The deficiencies .n opera
tions In both countries are so great
that they embarrass the finance min
listers and che squeeze draws another
groan OF anguish from tho taxpayers
II h q step la Capitalization which
makes Jefferson a myth and Hamilton
guide of our policies. u is not be-
lcNed that tGo president b. in sym
pathy with this -far-rvaching schVmc
but its advocacy from such a source
adds tu uncertainty. ~ uncertainty
Is the mother of unrest
one of the pricipal sources 81
healthy longevity and the pleasure OF
living Is a sense 81 humor and keen
enjoyment of IT, People who laugh
easily and often never ~ appendi-
Citis. American humor and its Guilt
walton we've accelerated during the
administration of President Lincoln.
No president had presented To- him
So many and such ycXing problems.
or from men SO important and dlfn-
cult. He rarely argued. but iilustrat-
ed his position and confused his ades-
TONER hy an apt story admirably told.
tie told me eleven OF them To shOw
how each story had COMPOUNDED his
questioner or critic n ended the dis
vaas!cn. These anecdotes spread
through Washington and an over the
country and We became Il nation Of
story -tcllcrs. When I was secretary
of state and Twins in Albany huy
years ago, ATtemus Ward, whose
fame as e humorist was World wide.
came there 90 lecture The audience
was made up 81 the blucst blood ut
the old colonial Dutch U@ristotrtty.
They Did not crack a smile until the
evening Was half over. when Ward
came Go the front of the platform.
and looking WhiWsically over the
crowd for i've minutes without "a
word, finally said, That last remark
OF mine was a. lukD." The Vans after
this laughed immodaritcly az every.
thing The next night Artemus ward
was at Troy. The Tru1ans had heard
of the Albany density, and 60 show
that they knew "a joke when they saw
70, and hat they saw u AZ once. thcs
began To laugh when the lecturer be.
gan "a soon were iu Violent hyster-
les whether ward was speaking or
looking al th,m. OliNer Wendell
Holmes, Mark Twain. Bret Hartc and
an innumerHDic company have CON
trinutcd Ia the happiness 90 the PEG.
pie and the gaycty of nations The
increasing intensity of uuT lives. the
craze Tor money, and the craze Tor
new and bizarre amusemruts among
those who hay money have limited
conversation to tho stock market. the
show and the affairs 81 society. {
fear IL Be- rapidly destroying American
humor. The venerable witticisms II
the camp among the Philippine vet
Grams who had formed the Caraboa
society delighted Roosevelt white
president. and Tafts laughter made
the country 'oin. hut after the re-
cent rehearsal the most distinguished
officers of the army and navy were
reprimandcd and only saved from
court-martia by the protest Of the
people. Within q few weeks the
American ambassador To- Great Brit
ain Ncnturcd tn an 9~fter-dinner
speech To follow Lowell aud Phelps.
Lincoln M Hay Choato u Reid.
ia those -pleasantries which add 60
the interest of the occasion and con-
tribute 10 international peace and
good fellowship But the United
sattes senate called him down with
unusual unanimity and Que senator
soiemniy declared that q joke or hu-
NOR IN an after-dinner speech was
an objectionable offcusc. The Grid
iron club ~ Washington has always
been privileged 10 put officials from
the president down upon is grill. and
Nfgffna have suN.R.N an. V.ust