The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1914-08-28
WHAT They DON'T HEAR
BY GRACE coWpY.

The girl who likes to talk dropped
the slice of lemon into her tea, medi-
tatively. Its perfectly wonderful"
she unused, how deaf man grows
| after he's married.
when he's just engaged" she went
on, ''he can hear his adored ones faint
est whisper. In boiler factory going
| full blast, but afterward-honest, I've
seen women who had to chloroform
their husbands and tie them hand and
foot before they could get the wretches
| to listen to something that 1t was alb
solutely necessary to tell them!
There's my brother Edgar. Now.
he's a perfectly good brother and al.
ways bought me exactly as fine candy
and flowers as he gave the girl he
happened to be in love with, and nat
urally think a great deal of him.
never saw anything like the devotion
he bestowed upon Mae while they
were engaged. 1t was what you might
call oppressive to the innocent by.
stander
IF Mae was at one end Of a ball
room 70 feet long and Edgar at the
other surrounded by Gordon of men
and Mae CHANGED to whisper to her
partner that she believed she had
dropped her handkerchief, give you
my word that Edgar would plunge
through that mass of men instantly as
though he were the locomotive draw
ing the 1S-hour special to New York.
And before Macs partner had time to
stoop Edgar had recovered the hand
kerchief, presented it to her and anx-
iously inquired whether there wasn't
something else he could do for her, all
before the dead and wounded that
marked the tumultuous progress
through the ballroom had had time to
pick themselves up and dust them
| selves off!
Il began to believe that Edgar suf-
ferred from what is known as acute
hearing He always was leaning anx'
iously forward and saying: 'Yes-what
did you say, dear?' Afraid he might
miss something, you see. Well, they've
been married two years now, and he's
| just as much in love with her as ever.
but I'll tell you what happens when 1t
is necessary for Mae to communicate
something to Edgar The scene is after
dinner and Edgar has the newspaper.
Says Mae
EDGAR Then she repeats the
| name three times. Then from behind
the paper comes sound like HIM?
Says Mae, Edgar the queerest thing
happened today. The man who was to
bring your new suit of clothes deliv-
cred pound of prunes instead
Thrilling silence from behind the pa
per- Mae takes a deep breath. Ed
! gar, she says, the tailor's man left a
pound of prunes today instead of your
new suit!'
'Jemima!' explodes Edgar at this
| instant, listen to this. Then he reads
something aloud from his newspaper.
Half an hour later when he goes to
| put on his new suit and finds pound
of prunes instead he raves and wants
| to know why on earth Mae couldn't
teae enough interest in his affairs to
! tell him!
why. there's a deep ocean rumble
all over this broad land OF wives tell
ing things to their husbands who aren't
listening. It's a substratum on which
are built all the conversations and all
the daily deeds that are done! Hus-
bands are being told that the gas bin
is overdue and that it looks as though
Willie was coming down with the
measles; that mother Is coming for
six months visit and that the new
velvet gown from Celeste is ruined,
that the cook has left, or mice have
eaten the best bindings on the library
shelves, or the Whites dinner party
is postponed, or that Uncle Hiram had
a stroke of paralysis yesterday-and
do they hear? They do not.
They go blissfully on in their calm,
peaceful, christening mental attitude,
and let the dear creatures babble fran
tically, imploringly, beseechingly.
THE only time they came out OF
their trance is when they find the gas
man has turned off the gas or discover
mothers trunk in the guest room and
then they demand to be told why. The
wise wife does not burst into tears
and insist that she has already told
her husband 16 times-she says meek
ly Yes, dear, 1t is my fault, and
should have informed you'-and then
goes downtown and charges something
perfectly awful on that months dry
goods bill in revenge. He doesn't know
it's revenge-he calls it extravaganza,
but that gives him something to talk
about and keeps him amused, so it's
for his own good.
do you know what I'm going TO do
when get husband?" asked the girl
who likes to talk. when have some
thing to tell him I'm going to send him
kilograms, collect, to his offtce!"