The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1914-07-08
By M. ouAr

speak OF 8 or 10 per cent dlvluenus II
makes me smile. / don't deal in such
small fish. Anything | take hold OF
must pay 30 per cent or ! drop Ii"
Good Lord" calculated the caller as
he sat up.
Thirty per cent at least, sir. What
| would you say to stocks paying dollar
for dollar?'
But I'm willing to take 40 per
cent" replied the man. Gee whiz,
but what man can ask for more than
thatT
very fair, very fair" ioftily replied
the major, but nothing to brag Of.
Being you have come direct to the Of
| fee / want to pick out something ex-
| ira. Let me see. The Universal Glass
Eye company paid GO per cent divi-
dends two years ago, but last year
| dropped down to 30. 1t will be still
less than that this year on account of
hard times. Lots of one eyed people
stick a patch over the eye and let 1t
go at that. If you'd come in month
ago could have let you in on the
ground floor of the Magic Rat and
Mouse Destroyer The stock went like
wildfre, and the last was sold at $500.
We figure it will pay 400 per cent div
idends for the next twenty years"
And / can't get in. Thunder. but
why didn't know about 1t! But you
must have something for me-" insisted
the caller In anxious tones.
LET me see. Let me see! How abb
sentminded I am this morning. Just
as you knocked / was making up the
incorporation papers for my last and
best scheme. It's one thatll lay over
all others. | was saving 1t to begin
the year on"
Good, good. What is itf BY
George, old fellow. If you put me on to
something good you shan't lose by it,"
"You know what delicacies turtle
soup and turtle steak are consideredT
II do"
And you know the high price frogs
legs bringF
Yes"
"Well, that's the basis of the Great !
Western company, just organized. We
are going TO rent nine square miles OF
Lake St Clair fats and raise our frogs |
and turtles and can them on the spot |
They viii be canned in champagne, |
and the labels on the cans will be
handsome enough TO frame and hang |
In any ones parlor. Three turtle /
steaks and two dozen frogs legs every
can. Killing and canning take place
every day. We shall control the mar
ket of the world"
What dividends do you figure on?"
"Well, last night was figuring on
straight 100 per cent, but this morning
thought ] ought to make little al
lowance. Many turtles die Of home
sickness, you know, and certain per
cent OF the frogs are bound to jump
the wire fences and get away. To be
very safe and conservative l have put
the dividends at 95 per cent. | think
that is rather neat figure, don't your
Great! Great Scott I've been lend
ing money at per cent?
"How-how much were you thinking
Of investing" asked the major in a
voice that trembled In spite OF himself.
Twenty thousand dollars perhaps"
And you-you will pay something .
down to secure the stock?"
"A hundred dollars. Here's a check
I'll indorse over to you, and I'll come in
tomorrow and pay the balance and get
he stock. By George, but I'm in luck.
lust think of getting hold of some z
hing paying 80 per cent dividends!
Why. my wife will think me crazy
when tell her about this. You won't =
ct Morgan buy the whole thing up and
'reeze me out, will you?"
mo. You shall have the stock"
"And I'll remember yoD. I'll buy
'ou pearl pin out of the first divi-
lend. II you want, when you get r
tarted. I'll show you how TO catch :,
rogs for canning. There's a peculiar 4,
way OF getting hold OF them by one =
ind leg. Ninety-five per cent. can't
elp but dwell on IT,"
Yes, it's a good thing" replied the y"
major as he showed the folded check 10
nto his vest pocket in careless way. W
You will be in tomorrow" tc
surf. ~ was a Is
d kiss you for luck. but as I'm not NJ
Te1l shake hands and I'll say tn. ia
'omorrow. Ninety-fve per cent!
yhoopr'
When he had gone the major walked sl'
p and down TO calm his raging heart. a. a.
didn't seem possible. He couldn't SD
redit his good luck. Then at last be r.
box the check from his pocket and
'oked at It to see what bank IL was "a
rawn on. His eyes opened wide. and
e uttered a moan and staggered to a
sat.
II was drawn I'm favor Of "A. Suck
:" Endorsed by Another Sucker and
gned by Uncle Rube."
Then the light went out. and the
and promoter bowed bis head and
new the bitterness Of the green per
mmon.