The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-10-08

The professor had an linking Of
what was coming when Bill told hi1a
he had come from Ss,nson's Corners,
but he bluffed it out
And how are the good people at
the Corners?" he asked. Il sold out
my entire stock at that place. hope
the medicines had a powerful and last
ing effect"
Yes. they had a powerful effect all
right" said Bill. "If the people just
last long enough"
why, is the medicine doing more
than promised it would?" asked the
professor. Il like to see my guaran-
tees fulfilled"
well. the whole blamed town will
turn into circus If you don't head 1t
or" said Bill mournfully. IF the
people would just swap medicines, it
might do some good, but 1t is too
late for that. Everybody's got stuff
that is having the opposite effect from
that desired. You know old Squire
Thornton, who was so fat that he had
to guess where his feet were? Well,
he's as thin as raZorback-nit. Why,
professor he weighs a ton II he
weighs an ounce. Fat? Why that
fellow would get shot for hippo
potamus If he went in swimming. He
must have got some of your Anti
Lean for he is so fat that he can't
lean up against anything. He can't
get near enough to it,
The professor produced a bottle Of
whose contents he was sure.
You give him this" he said, land
If that doesn't do him any good, you
tell him to take a dose of Rough on
Rats. That will stop his growing all
right
We'll, you'd better do something
for Skinny while you're about it,
said Bill. You know he was SO thin
already that he was afraid to eat
dried apples for fear they would ex-
pand and explode him. He thought
he was going to get fat, but he is so
thin now that he is afraid to go to a
picnic or have any kind Of u swell
time. He never was entirely Opaque,
but now he is positively translucent"
This will fix him all right" said
the professor, handing over bottle
whose label had never been washed
off, Tell him that is what crapshoot-
ers use to put flesh on their bones"
Miss SimsOn-yOu remember her"
said Bill: the little woman with a
squirt eye and bunch Of hair on
her cheek? Well, she got something
that made whiskers grow all over her
face, and she is mad as a wet hen
about it, She shaves two or three
times a week. but that only makes 1t
worse. She thought she was getting
something to remove superfiuous
hairs She ought to have traded with
Daddy Smith. He hadn't any hair to
spare and now you can't find pin
| feather on his head with search
warrant Then there was Jimmy
Burrill, who already had such stifi
| knees that he couldn't bend over to
pick up a horse shoe. He's SO stiff
now that he is thinking OF accepting
an engagement as an Ossified man
| Bill Haight, who wanted something fol-
his stomach got some of your light
ming hair grower and now he has q
coat of fur all over his stomach"
The professor began to realize that
he hadn't got the right labels back on
his bottles and boxes. Then he let
| Bill into his confidence.
The mistakes were rectified so far
| as possible.
But the professor didn't make his
promised monthly call at Simson's
Corners. He thought he would wait
till next month. And he got water
proof covering for his wagonette.
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