davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15
All He Heard

They were ,aIkinz about the race track
"a -, ~. -, ,,,,,,, a. W IT..
a"o "eh ,'e man WIN 'ne van
oearo nen''oneo tne iac' 'nat ne hau
seen his first horse race only the day
before. the old racegoer with the gray
beard leaned over and queried:
Didn't Won think IL great snort,
~ h. s,ov,v .dn;,,cd hut hi.
~, -
'ooNs oeheo ms "o'us-
Mighty exciting ISN'T IL: continued
the first speaker enthusiastically.
Eyes. it certainly is" was the quiet
answer.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15

chair. but something happened to his legs
which warned him that II was safer to
| creep over to tho nearesr post and pull
himself upright He felt q weakness and
a wobble In his knees after he was on
his feet. and he was a long time casting
! loose from the post A big doubt had
begun to creep into his wind. when he
suddenly fought 1t back and made a fresh
start His right foot moved without the
slightest trouble. 1t seemed to him that
II moved five yards before the left one
started to follow. Then he felt the house
fall down on him and partly lost con-
seriousness.
he was down cellar. upstairs or one
some vacant lot. when he heard Mrs
Bowser's voice asking:
Does that go in free gratis with the
cemedyr
Mr.. Bowser had sat down. One of
his feet was way on to the right-the
other way OF to the left. while all Of
his teeth seemed to be loose and his
heart in his mouth. He looked at Mrs.
Bowser in a stupid. puzzled way. ano
just as he had made up his mind that
he had seen her some where before she
disappeared. 1t took him another five
minutes to rally. Some men would
have kicked of the skates and defied
the rheumatism to do its worst, but Mr..
Bowser was game. He hadn't given up
the bike until he had gashed his scalp.
broken three ribs and lost three front
teeth. and nothing had happened yet to
discourage his skating.
Il see how 1t was" he whispered as
he crawled to the post again. Il made
too long a stroke with my right foot.
I'll try a sort Of gentle glide to start
with this time until I get the hang of
the thing" .
He didn't wait Tor any doubts this
time. The fact was. he couldn't. For
some reason or other his feet began to
move away with him. and he instantly
decided that II would be good plan to
have his body follow after. Unknown
to him. Mrs. Bowser was looking
through the door. and for a minute her
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15
Too Much Responsibility

While the colored man at the depot was
loading the trunks on the baggage truck
a small boy OF his own color approached
him and said:
Sam, kin / spoke wild yo' a minit?''
wall. dar amt no of co'se to 1t. My
name. sab. ar Samuel Brown. If yo'
wish to spoke to me yo' must call me
Mistah Brown. Now. what yo' got to
say?"
MY sistah sent word to yo'. Mistah
Brown"
"Oh. den yo' got a sistah?''
YES, sab; and she dun tole me to tell
yo' sumthin'.'
"she did. Ell? Did yo' sistah know
dat 1 was Mistah Samuel Brown
Yes. sah."
AN she didn't dun write me a note?
mo. sab. She dun tole me to say II
to yo'.'
boy. don't yo' fool wild a pusson in
my posishun: Why didn't yo'r sistah
dun write me a notey'>
"Kase, sab, yo' couldn't read it IL
she did
The man reached out and caught the
boy by the arm as II to shake him. but
directly smile broke over his face and
he released his grip and said:
Oats SO. boy, an yo'r sistah can't
dun write her own name to save her
neck. rxe got de responsibility of dis
railroad on my shoulders an she's got
de responsibility Of de dressmakin' biz
ness on hers, an we hain't got no time
to 'sagaciate around wild red Ink an
blue paper. Yo' jess wait till i percolate
dis baggage up to de train an den yo'
kin 30 ahead an disqualify yer tnvidu-
Gus information!''
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15

I Il am going to get OF pretty soon.
You Will get on with me. I will then
take my money from you and kick YOU
until I am tired. A good booting will
do you more good than a care load OF
law"
Il wish you wouldn't
But 1 Will Don't try to get away
from me or I'll break you in two, II
this was your first offense / might"
Il haven't done anything" protested
| the young man.
"oh. you haven't Natural born liar
as well as pickpocket! Now, then, We
get on here I shall keep hold of you,
and II you make any fuss it'll be tbs
worse for you"
They rose up with the solid man hav-
ing a firm hold of the young man
wrist. and got of the car. The solid
man looked around to see IL any police
man was near to interfere with the
bootins business. and as he did 50 he
showed left hand down into his
pocket His fingers grasped something
and pulled it out. 1t was his wad of
Sreenbacks. He looked at the roll for
a few seconds and then at the young
man for a few more. and his counte-
nance expressed about forty different
feelings as he finally said:
Young man, owing to the rheumatism
in my leg I have concluded not to boot
you,''
Thanks"
And to encourage you in your career
Of crime here's a so bilI!'
More thanks
And always remember as YOU 20
through life that integrity is it's own
reward, and perseverance is sure to
bring success. You may now skip,
And they both skipped.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15
THE HARE AND THE GIRAFFE.

One day the Hare and the Giraffe net
on one of the paths in the forest. and
they had scarcely saluted each other
when the Hare complainingiy said:
II just saw the Fox taking his morn
ing walk. and such a tail as he carried
behind him! Dear me, but how unkind
nature was to the Hares! II I had q
brush like Reynard / should be one of
the happiest animals in the world"
And get on to the man over there"
replied the Giraffe. when he has
walked until he is weary he can sit down
on a log and look just as graceful as
when on foot. II should attempt to sit
down and cross my legs and smoke q
nickle cigar every animal in the forest
would get up and howl in ridicuie.''
Yes. things are wrong" mournfully
observed the Hare. and 1 move that we
call a public meeting and"
AT that moment there was a great COM
motion at q point not far away, and il
was soon learned that the Fox had
caught his tail in a trap as he sauntered.
The Giraffe was about to remark that
the Hare would not have been caught
In that trap when a man who had just
sat down to rest and smoke sprang up
with:
"whoop BY the great horn spoon. but
must have sat down on at least half
bushei OF EN-. and by tomorrow
won't be able to get out Of bed.''
MORAL:
TT you had been provided with a long.
bushy tail like the Fox's." remarked the
Giraffe to the Hare. you would now be
In the hands Of the hunter"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15

When Mr.. Bowser came home the other
evening there was an air OF blandness
about him which told Mrs. Bowser that
he had bought stock In a rain-producing
company or was going into goat farming.
and he kept her guessing until AZ
dinner. Then he said:
You know how I've been bothered
| with rheumatism this winter, Well.
| was talking with doctor to-day. and he
gave me a remedy for It."
Your rheumatism she replied. why,
haven't heard you make a complaint
for a year"
Strong men never complain. Mrs.
Bowser. They suffer on and die. There
has been times when I thought ! was
being cut up alive. but not a word has
passed my lips should not have men
toned my sunerings now. only that I
have a cure for them
II don't believe you've got rheuma-
tism-' she bluntly exclaimed. You've
simply met somebody who has put a
new fad into your head and probably
sold you q gallon of nauseous dope for
80 or 81. It's a wonder to me you don't
kill yourself"
Let me ask. woman. II you are ad-
dressing yourself TO met" dueried Mr..
Bowser. as he drew himself up with
the dignity of a governor.
''Of course I am"
Then will remind you that am your
husband and the boss Of this house.
When l say that have rheumatism
that / suffer excruciating torture-that
I have a remedy. II Is not for you to call
me a liar!'
But you are SO full of fads." she
protested.
Never had a fad in my life On the
contrary. l have always kept clear Of
them. Perhaps you are hoping that my
rheumatism may strike my heart and
leave you a widow" -.'
well, what Is the cure
"Ahi That is more sensible. It's as
simple as A. B. C. It's to exercise an
hour every evening"
How exercise?''
"On roller skates, up IN the garnet. i
brought a pair home with me this even
ing"
"You on roller skates" gasped Mrs
Bowser, as she glanced at his bulk.
THE same, madam. and should my
glide be displeasing to your royal high
ness you are at liberty to leave the
house. 1 am not going into roller skating
to get up a willowy motion. but as a cure
for rheumatism. Have you any further
impudences to oner?'
It Was useless for her to say another
word. and she maintained a discreet ST.
ience. while Mr.. Bowser got his skates
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15

when their hands were extended ant
clasped.
.WeiI?' queried half dozen sergeant.
and corporals as the orderly returned Il
his quarters.
well you hear me now!' replied the
man as he looked from one to the other
We've done a lot of talking with ouI
mouths. From this time on. till we've
seen r. our captain prance about in an.
other scrimmage. We are going to shei
right up. The chap as does any BLOWN
won't be no friend of mine"
The men Of Company H were full OF
wonder and speculation at the sergeant's
change of base, but criticism was hush
ed. A week later began the campaign
which ended In the battle of Antietam.
Fighting Joe Hooker was leading the
division to which the Third Brigade and
the Tenth Volunteers belonged. and as
Company H pressed forward the second
sergeant muttered to the orderly:
Say, Sam. this thing In going to end
up IN a deuce of big battle!'
"Well. We want 1t to, don't wei" was
the reply.
"Of course. Reckon well be held in
reserve IL. there Is a fight!'
mot by a joyful! We won't more'n
get sight Of the Johnnies before Hooker
will send us in with a bang. Feelin' that
home would be a good place about novr'
Hadn't thought Of it"
Then what you tryin' to git at?'
"How'sthow's things goin' to be at
the head of the company asked the
second sergeant.
Now, don't you worry the shirt on
your back, before it's time. Joe Hope!
I'm going to wait and see, and the rest
of you have got to do the same. Durn a
man who won't give another man q fair
show!"
But what II he f1unks again.
''Then It will be time to work our chins.
Wed jest better be thinkin' of how our
widows at home will get along without
us and let the captain alone"
In the dusk of the evening Hooker
marked the command to face the Con-
federate left. In the darkness of mid
night Stonewall jackson came mp with
his foot-sore fighters and stationed them
in forest and cornheld to strengthen that
wing. In the gray Of morning with d
ghostly mist hanging above the earth.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15

One morning as the Peasant was pass
Ing by a pond on his farm the Frog
hoped out Of the water and said:
"Oh. Peasant. but ] have been griev-
ousiy misused. and demand justice at
your hands,
well, what's the kick.' said the man
as~he sat down on a stone.
MY pond has been invaded by twelve
Ducks. who insist on swimming about as
they please and making themselves very
much at home. I have many times
warned them to go away. but they give
no heed to my words"
There Is half an acre OF this pond. !"
said the Peasant. "and there should be
room for all of you
why. as to room, there IL no ques-
ton, but you see I'm looking at the prin-
clple of the thing-I was here first
81 see. Well. IL you are going into the
principle Of the thing I own the pond,
and as the Ducks furnish me food and
Frogs are n. g., I'll give you just five
minutes to hunt other quarters"
MORAL:
The Frog took II with him when he
hoped OF.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15

and the sweet oder of the tossing corn
in their nostriis. the Federals moved for
ward. As the Tenth Regiment got the
word the captain Of Company II passed
swiftly before his line. In the ghostIy
light he seemed taller by foot. The men
who peered at him saw that his Jaws
were firm and set and his eyes blazing.
God. but he means fight"' whispered
the first corporal.
Say. he'll lead us into hades and
back! muttered the second sergeant
Forward-guide left. moved the Tenth.
and the front line had scarcely brushed
the wet of the cornstalks when they met
with volley. 1t was so close and deadly
that there was confusion. The center
broke back. the TANKS halted. and order
and discipline were lost -.-
Attention. Company n, BY the right
nank-march!>O On the left into line! For
double-quick-charge bayonetsv'
1t was the voice of the new captain
and like clock work the men who were
tumbling over each other fell into line
and pjowed their way out of the -hurly-
buriy As they cleared the mob their
muskets came down to, the charge. and
with shouts and cheers. they dashed
along with corn-rows and drove through
a line of battle and sent a thousand men
skurrying away through the n1ists. As
they stood painting. with dead and wound
ed under their feet, the other COMPANIES
came marching up to join them and to
hold the position. Then the sun blaxed
up over the hills and devoured the mist
at a gulp. and every living man in
Company Fl turned to look at his cap
tain. His face was as white as a dead
mans but there was a grim smile OF
triumph over 1t. and the exaltation Of
battle was making his blue ewes shine
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15

about to hang himself to the. limb of a
tree. / pulls in the boss and gifts down
and says:
The path of Integrity art full of trou-
Bile, but in the end 1t leadeth into green
medders. Let us converse"
I'm dead broke. lame in both legs and
have eaten grass fur two days" he saws
as he pauses in his operation. MY idea
is to get out of this kentry. and az have
no wings railroad fare Pm goin' to
try hangin'.'
Art a man of integrity7' says ].
Il art" says he. That's the trouble
with me-too much integrity. As j sat
down to friendly game of poker three
days agone my integrity would not per-
init me to bluff on bob-tailed flush,
and the other critter got my cash.
He who hath lost all but ambition
may even come into his own again."
says !.
But I've lost my ambition" says he
''Please stand aside and let the per-
Torrance begin"
Then 1 goes to my wagon and pro-
duces a bottle of which Old James
Crow may have had knowledge. but
which bore no label That the contents
would restore ambition and bring integ-
rity back anew / had no doubt, and
smiled in my gentle way as the stranger
applied himself. In five minutes the
light of victory shone in his eyes In
ten there was hope in his heart and a
Jig under his heels, and as he set OF
to struggle anew with adversely / knew
that he would conquer all things. And
as I continued my journey said to my
self:
'Intemperance is a vice which brings
ruin to the soul, but little corn Juice
at the right moment maketh a man
strong for the battle OF life
And also:
IF he plays poker agin he may get
four aces and rake in the pot and give
literally to charity
had logged along a couple of miles
further when 1 come to a claim of a
Sooner" 1t was fifty acres of alkan
prairie and sage brush. and the cabin
was made of hoss-blankets and sods. In
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15

out on the picket lines and had a sharI
skirmish with the enemy, there wa,
strange talk among the men.
DO you know" whispered the orderly
sergeant to the first corporal, that the,
gave US cussed coward for a captain? 2
Hush! Hush!'' replied the corporal.
II won't hush, 1 was watching him ir
that little scrimmaee, and he was a,
white as a sheet, and trembling like q
leaf. Why, hang me, IL I didn't look for
him to bolt, tell you he's got no sand,
and if we get into a big fight he'll dis
grace us by running away
'Mebbe he was OF his feedr groyled
the sergeant.
''If a private soldier gets a case of
nerves you can overlook II, but what the
blazes 10 man wearing bars on his
shoulders for? He's supposed to have
sand He may turn pale and his chin
wabble little. but it's his business to
hang on to himself and have an eve on
his men. The whole company ought to
sign request for him to resign"
81 was mighty scarf In my first fight 81.
so was I. but we wasn't captains.
Why, Sdurn my buttons. Dick, IL 1 was a
captain I'd stand up to the rack and
hold on to myself IL I knew 1 was to
git ten bullets into me! amt got no
more respect for our captain than for
4 teamster. And Jest femme tell You
light and he gigs back on US I'm PUNK
hole into his cowardIy carcass as quick
as can pull trigger"
Next day the captain sent for the or.
ierly sergeant. and the latter had a
'trong suspicion. but he was greeted
luietly and pleasantly. and the captain
'sked few questions before saying:
So. sergeant. you think I'm coward
md should be forced to resignr.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15

|, down and he landed on the back of his
head. After a few minutes the rest o.
his body came down with crash. and
he knew no more. In a dim, uncertain
way he realized that anarchists had
blown up the house to wipe him on
erless to lift a finger. Ages seemed
TO pass before he heard the voice of
the family cook saying:
why, ma'am. IL was such jar that
the pots and pans in the kitchen jumped
all about. I always said he'd kill him.
self. and now he's gone and done IL!
II will take four policemen TO get the
body downstsirs,"
Wheels began to yhirl in MIR. Bow
ser's head. and as they grew larger and
whirled faster he smeiled camphor and
felt, water strike his face. and he opened
his eyes to find Mrs. Bowser kneeiing
over him. When she saw that he had
recovered consciousness she quietly
asked:
DO you feel better OF your rheuma-
tism. desr?'
who stuck p broom handle between
my feet and flung me down. he hoarse-
ly whispered.
mo one, dear You were practicing
the glide all alone when your feet got
away from you. Can you tell how many
bones are broken?r
But some one surely kicked me-
only the skates. Shall the cook and
drag you downstairs now. or do you
want some more of the remedyg'
= He. -choked- and gasped and suffered
and pointed for them to be gone. When
they had disappeared he sat up and
found THAT his skates had been removed.
He did not fasten them on again After
a while he got up with grunts and
groans and painfully made his way down
to the bedroom, and two hours later
Mrs. Bow>er found him in bed and fast
asleep. There were no bones broken.
but even in his sleep he was mutterins:
"Police"' and had the look Of a man
falling over a precipice to his death.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15

Sergeant Clay was a bluff, blunt man
The captain had asked him direct ques
tion: and throwing military etiquette tic
the dogs he answered:
you didn't make no record to be proud
of out there the other day."
"Were you watching me?'
"well, I had my eye your way
"And what was my conduct and ap-
pearance = l-....,l
Say, now captain. you may cut the
stripes OF my sleeves and send me be-
fore courtmartial. but I've got to be hon.
est with you. You had the shakes mighty
bad. II the fight had lasted five minutes
longer you'd have been a goner!''
Eyes. was very nervous" slowly ad-
mitted the captain after long pause.
1T was my first time under fire. I
wasn't afraid of being killed. as I can
remember, but the excitement upset me.
Suppose you and the boys wait a bit
before you send me a request to resign.
1 don't know myself yet. and you can't
fairly call me a failure, until We have
another turn at 1t II my nerves fail me
IN the next crisis you won't have to de-
mand my resignation. Are you willing
to wait7"
The sergeant had been studying his
officer's face with the eye of a physiog-
nomist. and the forgotten incident had
come back to his memory. He recalled
that boy with just such delicate fea-
lures, and q quiet, modest nature, who
was supposed to be the coward of the
school. had suddenly turned at bay ana
astoDished everybody by his fireceness.
He had heard and read OF gentle. patient
women who had put UP with husbands
blows for wears. but had finally seized a
weapon and demanded life In revenge.
Captain" he whispered as feeling
of awe came to him. ..it sin't for you to
ask this or that Of u. It's for me to
say, that therein be no more talk among
the boys. and that in our next fight your
make record TO be proud Of"
1t had been man to- man, instead Of
captain to sergeant, and II was still 20
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15

"Prithee. sir. but this Is AGAINST the
town ordinance, and you must explain
your conduct"
Lands, but Il il only a constable,
gasped the tramp as he look OF terror
Ned from his face and was replaced by
q sweet sad smile
Only constable. But. sir. I repre-
sent the law, and can restrain thee
for thirty days.
GO ahead with your performance. old
man.. replied the tramp. For a mo-
ment my heart ceased to beat I thought
you were buck-saw. come to lead me
to cord of hickory wood"
MORAL:
Even a tramp has lots Of things to be
thankful for
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15
THE NEW CAPTAIN

In the many company and regimental
changes which occurred after McCIellan's
Peninsular campaign Company H, Of the
Tenth Volunteers, got a new captain by
transfer. He was a fair-haired. blue
eyed man, who lacked ruggedness and
sternness, and 1t was whispered that he
had left a college professionally to put on
the uniform Of a soldier. The rough and
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15
UNCLE ELI'S FABLES
Good for the New Year or Any Other Time

And II II had been possible for you to
sit down on q log" replied the Hare.
you would now be busting for the near
est drug store for remedy for hornet
stings. That chap hit about fifteen Of
'em In q bunch. and, all Of EN- got mad
At the same time"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15

heart stopped beating Mr.. .Bowser
went backward a feet feet and then
took up gymnastics. He clawed the
am with both hands. jumped clear Of
the floor. and made the most tremeu'
dous efforts to catch up with his feet.
When he found he couldn't do IL he
began yelling "policer' but at the third
yell his feet shot up and his ead>shot
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15

from the front hall and climbed to the
garrett He had never had a pair of skates
Of any sort on his feet but his SELF
confidence was wonderful. He hadn't the
slightest doubt in the world that he could
put on those rollers and cut all sorts OF
pigeon-wings and Greek crosses right on
the reel.
Singular. how that woman opposes
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15
BOWSER HAS IT YET
And This Time He Roller Skates

mel" he unused as he made ready. IF
was dying for the want of water she'd
call II a fad. Let's see how this thing
goes I must first stand up sort o. care
Iessly ON both feet. Then ! shoot out the
hight foot-then the left. and away 1 60.
It won't take me over two minutes to get
the hang OF it
Mr. Bowser started to get out of his
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-15
THE TRAMp's ESCAPE.

A tramp who was sleeping on The
southern edge OF a straw stack after q
hearty meal OF cold victuals was suddenly
awakened by a voice calling In his ear.
and he sprang up to be confronted By .
constable, who exclaimed: