davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Catholic bulletin. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1911-1995, 1914-03-14

the Speaker, who was attended by the
Deputy-Serjeant, bearing the Mace,
and the Chaplain to the House. He
was accompanied by Mr. Asquith and
Mr.. Bonar Law and many Ministers
and private members. AS soon as the
Speaker had taken up his position at
the Bar, the Lord Chancellor, who had
been standing on the right of his Maj
esty, approached the Sovereign, and,
bowling low, handed him the Speech,
which the King at once read in clear,
resonant voice. After the King had
returned the Speech to the Lord Chan
cellor, their Majesties rose and, after
bowling graciously to the assembled
peers and peeresses, left the brilliant
Chamber by the door to the left of the
Throne. The Royal procession, which
was reformed, returned to the Rob-
ing Room, and then the King and
Queen were conducted to their State
carriage.
The Catholic bulletin. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1911-1995, 1914-03-14
Most Catholic Part of Spain.

Yet in one sense they refuse to be
modernized Just as they have fought
off the attempts Of Spain to rob them
of their ancient language and force
Castilian upon them instead. so they
have thus far at least, fought off the
thousand evils that modern progress
brings in it's train. They have taken
profit of every advance in civilization;
but much as castled baron, aloof and
self-reliant, might take tribute of
passing travellers. And for the bene-
fit of those who incline to link Cath
olicism in Spain with the material
and intellectual backwardness of the
country, let it be noted that the
Basque provinces are easily the most
Catholic section of Spain, with a priest
for every two hundred inhabitants,
with over $500 churches and chapels,
with 366 religious houses and nearly
5000 religious men and women. There
are factories in GuipuZcoa where mas
tiers stand amidst their employees at
work and lead in saying the Rosary
and singing hymns. There are towns
and villages where one out of every
six or seven persons is a daily COM
municant, where one-third of the pop
u1ation approaches the Sacraments
weekly, where the men and women
on their way to and from work recite
prayers in common. 1t is just posi-
BILE that If all Spain were as Catholic
as the Basque provinces, if all her
priests took as intelligent and active
interest in their people as do the
priests of Navarro, all Spain might
reach their level of material advance
ment. Meanwhile, when you are pity
ing Spain, dear reader, kindly omit the
Basque provinces. They really do not
need ii.
The Catholic bulletin. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1911-1995, 1914-03-14

Being patient is the hardest work
that any of usphas to do through life.
Waiting is far more difficult than do
ing. But it is one Of Gods lessons
all must learn one way or another.
The Catholic bulletin. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1911-1995, 1914-03-14

toll that devotion to study demands.
Even if your talent be meagre, the
one talent, with the rain and the sun
shine of Gods grace, will bear more
abundant and more abiding fruit, than
the three and five laid up and put
away in a napkin.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
UNION MIGHT BE POSTPONED
Matter-otFact serelda's Two Coed
Reasons for Hesitatlne About
Setting the Day.

The Blanks maid Of all work was .
practical young woman Of about
twenty-seven years. One day when
her mistress was making some plans
for the future tho matter-of-faOt
Serelda said:
II don't know. ma'am. II might b
that ! won't be with you much longer.
an then mebbe I will. amt sure
yet"
Knowing that a young man had
called good many times to see Be.
reid he- mistress said:
"Ar, you thinking Of getting mar
ried. Serelda?"
without the least show Of embars
rassment or enthusiasm Serelda said:,
We'll, yes. to tell the truth. an.
Then ngain don't know II viii. I've
got a good place here with good pay.
and he's such . fool mebbe III stay
ON with you!"
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
Well Meant.

On one occasion when the king and
queen OF Great Britain visited toseth-
er very elaborate preparations were
made for their reception.
The city was lavishly decorated and
one enterprising tradesman. desiring
to display his loyalty. has the words.
Heaven bless them both!" outlined in
pape lowers across the front OF his
shop. Unfortunately he forgot to re-
move large business sign that was
Just above.
The result read:
Ham and beef sandwiches"
Heaven bless them Uoth!"
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
Good EatlnQ.

"Metchnikoff. the Metchnikoff OF
sour milk fame is soon to celebrate In
Paris" said Paris correspondent on
furlough In New York. his SEVENTEEN
birthday
Since his sixtieth birthday. when he
began his sour-milk regime. Metchni-
koff has not aged. On the contrary. he
has become rejuvenated
ITO the committee that has In
charge the splendid honors of his
birthday celebration Metchnikor gave
some advice on the benefits OF frugal
eatine-the benefits OF taking no alco
hol, very little meat and an abundance
of well cooked green vegetables. And
he ended his lecture with this crystal
of wisdom.
Good eating makes more pessi
mists than bad luck"
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
No Menace In saratorIum,

DR.. Edward l.. Trudeau. who built
the first tuberculosis sanatorium In
the United States In 1885. says:
when bought the first land on
which the Adirondack Cottage sanato-
rum is built. ! paid $25 an acre for It.
but the price was then thought abb
surdly high. My last purchase Of five
acres cost me 5000. To my knowl-
edge, there has never been an employe
who came to the sanatorium In sound
health who developed tuberculosis
while there; and q sanatorium can no
more endanger the health Of the neigh
borhood in which It is built. even II
the residences are at it, very gates
than II could II It wero placed on tor
Of a high mountain miles away from
habitation."
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
WOULD MAKE A POLITICIAN
Little WIliIe's Capacity for sticking 70
One Idea sInsulariy Like Way
Of Rabld Partlsan.

"The late Adlai Il. Stevenson" said
Republican leader Of Bloomington.
hadn't, after all, much use for poll
tics. lie once explained to me why
this was
"ie said that party politicians be-
lievcd their side to be always right,
and the other side to be always wrong.
Whatever the other side advocated, II
was horrible and Internal; whatever
their own side advocated was holy.
He said the partisan couldn't un.
derstand that you might arrive at the
right thing by more ways than one
and thus the partisan was like the ur-
chin whose teacher said:
willie. what does six plus four
make
" Eleven
NO Try again.
Twelve
"'No
Thirteen,
No. no. no. You're Just guessing
But why couldn't you have guessed
that six plus four makes tenY'
"'Because u don't make ten. said
Willie. Five and Ave makes ten
remember that"
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
Thought He Liked Fiattery.

One Of the wittiest occupants OF the
judicial bench In England Is Judge
Rentoul, the North-country IrishmAn,
who presides at the famous court,
known as Old Bailey. The Judge
has Just been telling another good
story against himself. Once he went
on a political mission to Wales. to
tell the voters what to do. He spoke
first. and In English. All the subse-
Quent speakers. however, used Welsh
as the medium Of their thoughts. As
a matter Of policy he applauded
strongly whenever there was a clap
among the audience. although he
could not understand single word
that was said. II learned afterwards" !"
safi Judge Rentoul. that every time I
applauded speaker II was when he
had paid strong personal compli.
ment, either to myself or to my
speech"
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
No Puzzel for Her
10y Allie Younper.)

The sharp-nosed man looked dubi-
ously after the retreating figure o.
the stenographer.
I'm in . quandry what TO do with
that GIRL" he said 81 don't know
whether to fire her or raise her sal
ary. don't know what to make of
her. She is the quintessence OF either
innocence or deceit, cant figure out
which. Any way, she's got me into a
pretty pickle.
About two months ago some mis-
guided member of certain benevolent
society sent me two tickets for char
ity ball. was surprised to get these
tickets, for l supposed everybody who
knew me knew my sentiments In re.
gard to charity.
Il don't believe In II. don't be.
lieve in giving things away. I have to
work for every cent have and ex-
pect other people to do the same
thing. To my mind these folks that
dance for charity and sing for charity
and cut all sorts of didoes for benev-
olent purposes are only degrading the
masses they are supposed to benefit.
! he'd expressed this opinion SO often
that was amazed that anybody
should ask me to countenance a
benevolent scheme by buying tickets
for ball. Naturally, ! hastened to
send the tickets back. put them into
an envelope and handed them tO the
stenographer.
"Here, Miss Drew" said. you
know what to do with these
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
Unreasonable,

George Bernard Shaw is one of the
few vegetarians who have remained
true to the faith. and In q recent letter
to woman. reproaching her for her
night against the aigrette when she
still ate meat, Mr.. Shaw said:
"The lack Of logic prevails every
where! We call the tiger a ferocious
and ravaging beast, but what would
you ladies' be called II, for example.
the lamb chop had q voice?"
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
Invitation and Answer.

Mr.. r. G. Phillips In his book. my
Varied Life" tells how the late Sir
George Honeyman. an Infamous
writer sent down from the bench to
a friend OF his, a leading Q. c.. q
little note. Not able to make head
nor tail Of II. the barristcr scribbled
something equally undecipherable
upon a halfsheet Of notepaper, and
passed II up to the Judge. Sir George
looked annoyed. and when the court
rose. said to his friend: what do
you mean by thisf asked you to
come and dine with me tonight"
Yes said the barrister. 'and l re.
piled that should be extremely glad
to do so."
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19

Holland and Dockrill are equestrians
who have been playing at the New
York Hippodrome for the last two
years. When the Hippodrome closed
this summer, the act was transferred
to the White City at Chicago. whero
II has been the sensation Of the year
in the Windy City. They have four
Arabian horses that are nothing short
OF superb. while the costumes are
beautiful in the extreme. The two
principals. Holland and Dockrill, are
said to be supreme casters Of the reins
and their act will be one Of the un-
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
couldn,t Corner Him.

Count" said the lady to the for
eign nobleman at the charity bazaar.
won't you buy this rose. II u only
g."
II am very sorry" said the Count.
with a courtly bow. but re price II .
leetle too high"
The lady kissed the rose. "And
now, Count will YOU buy ~"
"No, madame" he said. with . still
deeper bow. Now se rose u price
less"
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
22 to Oct. 3.

ments her booking manager at once
made deal with Holland and Dock
rill to call off their proposed trip
abroad and remain in America. Hol-
land and Dockrill were scheduled to
leave for Europe about the time Miss
Wirth had planned to leave Russia.
1t was a case OF money talks" and
the result will be more expensive
act than had been promised the pat
rons of Oklahoma's great fair this
year.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
Poaslhla Chance.

A young man who last month re-
ceived his diploma has been looking
around SUCCESSFULLY for a position.
employment and a Job. Entering an
office the other day he asked TO see
the manager. and while waiting for
that gentleman TO become disengaged
he said to the ONCE boy:
DO you suppose there 10 any open.
Ing here for a College graduate?"
We'll. dere will be-" was the reply.
II de boss don't raise me salary to
tree dollars . week by termorrer
night. boston Evening Transcript
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
Teachers Boast.

A teachers meeting was in progress
and 1t was decided that the more diff
cult subjects should come in the morn
Ing, and those that required less appli-
cation later In the day. History was
last on the list. and Miss Wheeler,
the young teacher. protested.
But it certainly is easier than sci
ence or mathematics" the principal In
sisted.
"As ! teach IT," replied the young
teacher. mo subject could be more
difficult and confusing. ng."-Lippincott's
Magazine.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
Readin' Not Wrintln'

A little girl, visiting away from
home. received joint letter from her
parents. Papa's half was typewriter.
mamma's postscript written by hand.
Said Marion In reply: Dear dad. the
letter from you and muther Jest came.
the part from you was incest. cause
1t was readin' and hers was writin'."
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
WORLDS GREATEST RIDING ACT
ENGAGED FOR BIC STATE FAIR

The European war is responsible for
The engagement Of George Holland and
Rose Dockrill. the worlds greatest
eQuestrians, to appear daily at the
eighth annual Oklahoma State Fair
and Exposition, Oklahoma City. Sept.
22 to Oct. 3, 1914.
When word reached America that
May Wirth. who was engaged months
ago 70 come to the Oklahoma State
Fair and Exposition this fall, is ma.
rooned in Europe. unable to return to
this country in time to fill her engage.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
She Waa Rlaht al That.

"Who can tell me what a cape is?"
queried the teacher of the junior
class in geography. "A cape" replied
. bright little miss, "is q coat that
hasn't any sleeves"
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
Destructive Colt Buu

british scientists have discovered
a golf bug that destroys the grass on
the links" "Pshaw. they're nothing
new! We had lot Of trouble with
them at our golf club. but we got out
of the difficulty by posting signs say.
ing: please replace turf cuts. -
Buffalo Express.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
All Waste In Coal Done Away with

Waste In coal has practically been
eliminated. Even the waste from the
culm-bank washers is now being uti.
lized, for It is flushed into the mines
and party fills old workings where
1t cements together and furnishes sup.
port to the roof when the coal previ.
ously left for pillars Is removed.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
Qunht "a EaAl Ilrad.

Bobbie-Don't you feel tired. Mr..
Bibble!
Guest-No. Bobbie. Why do you
ask?
Bobbie-'Cause pa said he met you
last night and you were carrying an
awful load.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19

eyes, sir she said. Thank you
ut struck me then that there was
no occasion for her to thank me for
requesting her to perform her regular
routine IT duties. but didn't give the
matter & secoi' though until three
weeks later. when representative Of
the benevolent society called to col
lect $40 for the ball tickets.
"'But ! didn't use the tickets.' I
said. 4 don't believe in charity
81 beg your pardon he said. They
were used. Here are the numbers
sent you and here are the tickets
bearing the same number which were
taken in at the door. II you didn't
want them you ought to have returned
them to us at once, as requested in
our communication to YOU
But ] did return them replied
Then called il the stenographer.
miss Drew said, didn't | give
you two ball tickets some time ago
to be returned to the benevolent so.
ciety?'
"'Why. no. she said, you didn't say
anything about returning them. You
simply said | knew what to do with
them
"'And what did you do with them?
I asked.
"I went to the ball. said she. I
thought that was what you meant
81 was furious. but l saw the benev.
olent society had the drop on me, and
I paid the SO. The worst OF 1t is the
girl seemed SO sweet and innocent and
sorry that haven't had the courage
either to discharge her or deduct the
money from her salary. can't make
up my mind to this day whether she
really thought meant to make her q
present
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
For Burns and Scalds.

In case Of burns and scalds apply
Hanford's Balsam of Myrrh and get
relief. Apply It to cool the skin and
take the fire out. Have a bottle al.
ways ON hand to use In case Of acci.
dents. Adv.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19

How to Keep Pins From RustInO.
Needles and pins will never rust in
a cushion filled with coffee grounds.
Rinse the rgounds In cold water.
spread on . sheet Of paper to dry
thoroughly, and then stun the cushion.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
Why shouldn't Hs worryf

Tucker-"Why do look 90 trou.
bled? Well, last night dreamed I
died and was buried. Parker. and I
saw the tombstone at the head of my
grave" Parker-"saw your tomb
stone. eh? And what Of itf" "Why,
I'm trying 70 live up 70 the epitaph. !"
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
cexsrs some pistanes

A reasonably active man walks
about $4,000 miles in eighty-four
years. just walking about his home
and place of business.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19

Continuing the Argument
"You prefer swords to pistols when
you engage In duel?"
YES" replied the Frenchman.
Swords enable you to get In more
gestures"
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19

The wise wife increases her hold on
her husband by holding her tongue oc.
casionally.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
Once Too Often.

Parson Black (sternly)-Did you
come by dat wateh-melyun honestly.
Bruddeh Bingy?
The Melon Toter-'Deed I did. pah-
son; ebry day TO- nigh on two weeks!
Puck.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
WISE.

II don't want to brag about myself.
I've done many foolish things In my
time, but I've boen wise In ono way"
whats that?" II never had the idea
that I could paper . bedroo mmyself.s
Detroit Free Press.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19

How To Give Qulnlae ~ Childrea
FEmILINR IL The trademark name sivento an
improved Quinins. II 10 Tssteisss Syrup. 0fscs-
snt 10 take and does not diaiurb the stomsch.
Chiidren take Il and never know 4 10 Quinns.
~ ssS,.ss o.i.i. H.. az. ..,ss no ssnnos M
cause nervousness nor ringing In the hsad. Try
u the nest time you need Quinins Tor any pur.
pose. Ash foS s-ounee original package. The
Many . man fails to got there be.
cause he never starts,
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19

usual features OF the OklahoI 4 State
Fair and Exposition.
In addition to Holland and Dockrill,
there will be many other high class
acts at the State Fair this year, includ
ing Powers Hippodrome elephants
the New Brundage Shows, Thaviu's
band and operate singers; a cabaret
trio and tango team; Louis Disbrow
and other famous auto racing cham.
pions; high class harness and run.
ming races, n big football gave and
$1,000 wonderful exhibits.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19

Tho young man who has bees jiltsd
thinks that all the troubsa IN The
world wears petticoats.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19

YOUR OwN DEu0qIsT WILL. TELL. ron
fry Murine kye HsmsdS %, he'd Es:l Matsv
Just Bye Comfort. Write for Book OF the Hys
By mali Free Murine Bye Remedy o., Chicago.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19

The gentleman with the cloven hooe
may trot with the gentleman who hae
Q cloven breath.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19

cause her father is rich. II Is false
modesty.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19

Men without enemies have but few
friends.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19

You can safely place faith In Han
ford's Balsam Of Myrrh. Adv.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19

CHINESE NO -tsOrTLE RLUEING
Tbs only scientifically correct blneing. Ibes nos
tub. Pin, for hand tDdfsr. Send iDc and grocess
for supply. Chinese Blueing Co.. Detroit Mich Adv.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19

A dashing widow says that old maids
are embers from which the sparks
have fled
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19

For mosquito bites apply Hanford's
Balsam. Adv.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19

A cat will not look at q king II there
IL q mouse In sight.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
The Great Movina Picture.

Knicker-Been to the movies?
Bocker-Well, looked at a map Of
Europe.
Farmers' champion. (Elgin, Okla.) 1912-1922, 1914-08-19
curss Old Sores, Other Rsmsdls, Won't Cure

The worst cases, no matter ofhow long standing.
ere cured by the wonderful old reliable DR..
Porter's Ansiseptic Healing OIL Il relieves
Pain and Heais at the came time. 2Sc, Soc, oi.0A
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-01-11

can help me in just one way, by working Jones. Now
here's my scheme I've got friend, Mary Hicks, who
got a beau, who's got rich old aunt, who's as mean as
they make EN-. Beau wants 10 marry Mary; but he
getting only eghtccn,-he's a law clerk and they
can't set up housekeeping on that Months ago he
asked Aunt for loan Of five hundred dollars TO start
with but Aunt turned him down cold Well last week
Beau gets letter from Aunt saying that five hundred
will be his the day he gets poem Of hers published 1t
seems that Aunt and another old girl the two rival
pushes in the missionary society of the church where
they live and Aunt wrote poem which She read at
big missionary meeting and the other old girl smiled
the air and paved around she can't write poetry
and said to everybody that one could stop Aunt
reading her poem,-they had to listen.-but there
wasn't an editor living who would publish it. This got
under Aunts skin, and she Immediately got busy.
Tried every editor in San Francisco offered to buy
the space but nothing doing. SO the old lady, seeing
she was dead up against it. thought of Nephew She'll
have to leave him her money when she dies. anyway;
so suppose she thought she might well fork the
five hundred now and get something for it. So She
wrote telling him that five hundred would be his the day
he got her poem The Mist, and he's offered me fifty
to work it for him.
at must be-unusuallv awful
"She wants it in The MIST" went on Miss Fail,
rummagng in her bag, because she says The Mist
has tone
SO il has. declared Judith. her chin up She began
to read the poem that Miss Fla had at last Produced
Far over seas they go, To part with them is blow,
The half Of their good deeds Mercy, Miss Flail. YOU
know Mr. ZONES couldn't publish that ORWELL Why, its
absurd! Everyone would laugh at it,
well, where am to get my fifty, them
~Thats So Judith turned back to the poem Let's
write a new one and put her name to it.
Never do in the world. It's the very poem that all
the fuss is about; missionary society divided and
church all but disrupted it. And YOU know very
WELL Judith Wells, that that poem isn't going to
hurt The Mist You talk Jones over, that's all
THAT isn't the way Judith protested. She was
thinking. "AIaybe there is way. Did the old lady
ever live in LatoOna,"
Don't know a thing on earth about her; don't know
a thing about Nephew but that he's May's beau.
What does it matter, anyway
81 was trying to think out PLAN Get Mary ON the
phone and find out if Aunt lived here any of
her people but Beau ! suppose he has name.