davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26

Mrs. Cunning am going to meet
my husband this afternoon to select
some decoration for the drawing room
in our new house.
Mrs. Gossip-What do you want
him with you for?
Mrs. Cunning-Well, in case they
don't turn out right / can say it is his
fault.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
Whose Task Is
Hardest to Fulfill?
ByF. FISCHER, Milwaukee. Wis.

motoman subjected may talk but II ne were for the
week take the place and witness the
habadth the insults that heaped the
the the day and trouble encountered trying
please patrons lay down the handles
in despair.
he must
the rail that it he must watch the greatest
the the automob who ushs
on to the track regardless of speed.
The works with all these things his mind while trying
ntrused
in his may get killed or injured.
One of acquaintance being sued by his tailor lie wouldn't
pressing his the being pressed against
him.
If this keeps much longer of monares daughters
will naturally have gnoble mesaanc at home
If old hunters tales Russia will through the winter nicely
all the bear has to do is suck his paws. |fEs
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
A Pretty pecention.

Crawford-So you found a package
of old love letters you wrote your
wife years ago. What did you do with
them.
Crabshaw-Change the dates and
sent them to her while she was away
in the countrywide.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
up In the Air.

Where on earth did Patrice meet
the man she's going to marry?"
Nowhere on EARTH"
Don't try to be funny"
I'm not trying tc be funny. They
were introduced while both were pas,
sengers in captive balloon"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
Water Needed.

Mrs. Bacon-I see this paper says
glass of water placed in the bottom
of a piano will help to prevent the
wood warping and keep the instru-
ment in tune.
Mr.. Bacon-Well, mother, before
Sadie tackles that piano again, for
gracious sakes give it glass of wa
ter!
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
Subject TO seaslckness.

A young fellow was hunting for a
position and received an offer of a
place as shipping clerk from one OF
the firms to which he had applied for
employment.
II am sorry I can't accept your kind
offer of the position of shipping
clerk" he wrote, "but the fact is, that
am always i'll when at sea."-Na'
tional Monthly.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
WORKING Overtime.

"Iwish that tiresome old Judge Blank
wouldn't carry court practice into the
street with him."
"What do you mean?"
"Why, never meet him but that he
arrests my progress, and then he tries
my patience"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
One on the Driver,

Mrs. Meeks-This paper says the
life of the domestic horse is about
twenty eight years, while that Of the
wild one is thirty-eight years.
Mr.. Meeks-Now, dear, you see what
happens when one is being continually
driven.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
Next Thino to It.

What's become Of that red-headed
Judkins boy who used to say he want
ed to be a pirate on the Spanish
main?"
Ills ambition has been gratified
about as well as modern conditions
will permit"
"How SOP
Hes now taxicab chauffeur on
Broadway"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
Empty Thespians.

do actors really feel the parts they
play?"
"Some of them do. / dare say there
are times when they don't have TO
simulate hunger at a stage meal"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
PardonahIe Pride.

"Who started the fight?" asked Mr..
Dolan
What difference does it maker" re-
sponded Mr.. Doolan. "Startin' a fight
Is easy I'm the fellow that brought
it to a finish"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
An Extensive Task.

Here's a dollar for expenses" said
the small candidate.
WELL" said his campaign friend,
"Ill do what / can with it; but it may
take a dollar and a quarter to elect a
man like YOU"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
Deserved a Reward.

Daughter, saw you last night"
eyes, ma"
what induced you to give that
Joung man a kiss?'
"Well, he had listened to my sing
ing patiently for an hour"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26

Of all professions in the
city that of motorman is be-
yond doubt the most diff
cult to fulfill.
To the onlooker who is
unfamiliar with the many
tests and trials to which the
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
Gone. But Not Forgotten.

"Whither away, Dobson?"
I'm going to attend the obsequies
over $4,000 of my hard-earned
money"
ct don't understand"
"The stockholders of defunct cor
poration are to hold a meeting"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
Corpuscles in Battle.

Battles in human blood between
white corpuscles and disease germs
have been photographed with the mo-
tion-picture camera by two French
scientists.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
Misleading the Public.

Misleading the Pubic.
smart tricks"
For instance?"
when / go into saloon for a drink
I make him walk down the street and
wait for me in front of a soda water
store"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
Goinu Too Far.

Mrs. Wombat certainly has the
shopping fever highly developed"
"How so?"
"She looks at black dresses every
time her husband has the slightest all
ment."
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
AS Ever.

What does this piece of statuary
representa-"
Life and Love-"
"Ahem! Love seems to have 8
stranglehold on Life"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26

Loyalty is the body. Sem
timent is the soul. Loyalty
is a duty one owes his coun-
try. Sentiment gives it life
and prompts action. Patri-
otism to be effective must
be inspired by both. Love
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
LOOKING for Business.

There were 40 automobiles at the
station when I got home"
"You don't tell me! All filled with
your friends?'
mo. They were taxicabs."
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
Tenn orarv.

Before they were married she loved
to dwell on his views"
"And now?"
''Now she only cares to sit on
PUCK.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
Seashore Occupation.

Patience-And is she saving up to
go down to the seashore?
Patrice-I guess so. She says she
hasn't kissed a man in a month!
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
Friendships Strength,

But surely for nothing less than
failure in integrity must you ever fail
your frtend.-Ruth Ogden.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26

My attention has been
called to different people
when eating and l have no.
ticed on numerous occasions
the apparent disregard of
early training in table man.
ners relating to the way in
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
On Its Travels.

"What have you done with the um-
brella | loaned your"
II loaned 1t to a man who says he
loaned it to you"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
What He Saved For.

Are you putting away your pennies
for a rainy day, Tommie?"
81 am not. There amt no ball games
en- rainy days!"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
He Had Not.

Bacon see a Pennsylvania man
has wonderful collection of fieas.
Egbert-Well, at that, he hasn't
anything on my dog
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
Same Down There.

The mermaid wears a string of pearls;
Where ever did she get 'em?
We know they've Holsters in the deep.
And maybe they may pet 'em.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
Man.

At twenty hearts are trumps.
At thirty diamonds are trumps.
At forty clubs are trumps.
At eighty spades are trumps.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26

In early times the usual
refectors used by those who
wished to see the effect Of
their personal charms were
the still places in meadow
brooks or the placid surface
of some lake. Afterward
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
In Eurone.

"What do you think would be the
best color for our new military uni.
forms?"
"Just now, think it would be best
to make it some neutral tint"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
If all humanely disposed

If all humanely dispo4ed
persons witnessing acts of
cruelty to animals would
take the trouble to secure
the arrest and punishment
Of persons who violAte thu
anticruelty laws Of the state
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26

Hope Not.
They Toll Not.
T've noticed one thing about suffra-
gettes."
"And what is that?"
There is many a one making sweep
ing gestures who never uses broom"
Baltimore Sun.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26

Leaves are falling. but nobody eats leaves.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26
No Cop Near, Either.
The fastest man
I've lately seen
Owed all his speed
To gasoline.

One Sent.
Mrs. Padding (who is distributing
flowers among the poor)-Is it posi-
BILE, my dear, that none of your fam
lily was sent away by the Fresh Air
Mission?
Mrs. Slavin-Are thin tn bla'-
guards that caused me husband to
be stint away f'r thirty days?-Puck.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26

If old hunters tales true Russia will go through the
| az all the bear has to do is suck his paws 8
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1914-11-26

If this war keeps much longer of monares da
will just naturally have to contract gnobe mesaances at home
Mount Vernon signal. (Mt. Vernon, Ky.) 18??-current, 1914-04-03

NEW TELEPHONE LINES New
poles and wires have been put
no between Mt. Vernon and Will
die by the Mt Vernon Telephone
Co. Direct connection is now
made from here to Climax, Con-
way and Johnetta. On the eli.
max or Clear Greek lines are the
following telephone stations:
Hardin Moore, store, Climax
J. ]. Berry, residence; R. J. Alb
ney, store; J. D. PENNINGTON store;
Mason Anglin, residence; James
Wolf, residence; ]. G. Bullen &
Sons, store and residence. Wilde;
w. H. Jones residence. Wilde;
DR.. R. H. Lewis, residence, vii
die. On Johnetta line: J. w:
Chasteen, store, Johnetta; ). w.
Lee, post Office, JOhnetta; Jack
Abney, David Abney and Jack
Laswell between Johnetta and
Brush Creek. h. L. Smith and
G. T. Johnson stores, Brush
Creek.
Mount Vernon signal. (Mt. Vernon, Ky.) 18??-current, 1914-04-03
"Millionaire" Police
Make Broadway Raid
DETECTIVE DISGUISED AS
SPENDER
Broker Held On Bribery
Charge As Sequel of Arrest

Under red ink box car letters
running across entire top of page
tie New York Journal of March
18th publishes a column in cor
nection with arrest made In that
city by detective William o. Jones.
Mr.. Jones is son of Mrs. Mahala
Jones of this place and had exper-
fence in the u. S. Navy before he
joined the police force of the big
city some years back in which po-
sition he rapidly rose to a resPon-
sible place in the mounted police
arm of the service where he gave
eminent satisfaction. A few
months since he was transferred
tolInspector Dryers squad, de-
tective department in which he is
making good.
Posing as d millionaire from
the West, with nothing to do but
spend money, detective Jones,
attired in swagger clothes, today
raided the suite of Miss Laura
Mount Vernon signal. (Mt. Vernon, Ky.) 18??-current, 1914-04-03

Carlton, twenty three, d pre- kty
blonde, in the Albany, fashicnhl
apartment house on fifty fist
street and Broadway. Miss CARL
ton was taken to sixty eighth
street police station, charged with
selling liquor without license.
Miss Cartoons suite, the police
say, has been under surveillance
for some time. The police were
unable to gam an entrance until
Jones, posing as millionaire, Sc
cured an introduction to Miss
Carlton. He made several visits
to the place, but was unable to
secure evidence until today.
According to Detective Jones
and Dolan. McQuade offered each
of them So. on the steps of the
police station if they would sup
press certain evidence against Miss
Carlton.
McQuade was placed under ar
rest charged with attempted bri-
berry.
Mount Vernon signal. (Mt. Vernon, Ky.) 18??-current, 1914-04-03
GOVERNOR THATCHER'S
LECTURE

Governor M. H. Thatcher will
deliver his famous lecture on the
Panama Canal, under the aus
pices of the Womau's Club of Mt
Vernon, April 10th, 1914, at 1890
pm. at Chapel Hall, GRADED
School Building. Governor
Thatcher's service in the Canal
Zone was of great length, and he
is perfectly familiar with the his.
tory of the promotion and con-
struction of the canal the greatest
engineering feet known 10 the
world, the work of American En-.
gineers and the realization of the
dream of centuries. AS all know
the Governor enjoys the distinc-
ton of being an eloquent speaker
of the entertaining type and an
orator of wide reputation. We
are fortunate in securing him as
one of the speakers of this, our
first year of the lecture course for
Mt. Vernon, and it is to be hoped
that the citizens of Rockcastle
County will take advantage of
being informed on subject of so
much interest to all Americans
and by man so well equipped.
Mount Vernon signal. (Mt. Vernon, Ky.) 18??-current, 1914-04-03
Country Life Conference.

A Country Life Conference is to
be held in Louisville, April Tito
10, to be participated in by FAM
ers, business men and others who
are interested in rural uplift.
In the coming conference at
Louisville the farmers will be told
something about the benefits of
cooperation in the handling of
farm products, such as poultry,
eggs, vegetables, fruits; in the
breeding and selling of livestock;
in the operation of creameries and
in other ways. Some of the lead
ers in such movements will attend
the conference and will recite their
experiences for the benefit of those
who are seeking information.
There will be discussions of var
Ious matters affecting rural life,
such as roads, churches, schools
sanitary improvements and social
conditions.
This conference is merely a con-
tinuatlon of the annual meetings
which have been held for many
years under the title 1.-THE Con-
ference for Education in the
South This fact stamps the
gathering at Louisville as a meet
ing of nationwide Importance and
one of such scope and value as
Kentuckians not often are priv
legged to attend.
We hope that as many as posi-.
BILE of the publicspirited citizens
of Rock castle will attend this con-
venuJn. Rates to Louisville vii
be ou for the occasion
The people will not only [ be
told how to do ithings-they will
be shown how.
President Wilson was invited to
be present at this conference, but
has declined the invitation on &C.
count of pressing duties at Wash
ingtOn. He said that the tempta-
ton to accept was great inasmuch
as he considered the meeting one
of the greatest importance and in
terest. You cannot afford to miss
this opportunity of learning about
up to-date and successful business
Mount Vernon signal. (Mt. Vernon, Ky.) 18??-current, 1914-04-03
TO THE BAPTIST OF ROCK
CASTLE COUNTY

Sunday April I2th has been set
apart as Missionary day in all the
Baptist Sunday Schools of the
South land and as representative
of the Mission Board of Rockcas-
tie Association l am appealing to
the Twenty Seven Hundred Bap-
tist Of our Association to make a
special effort to make as liberal
an Offering as they possibly can
90 that day. We also invite cur
friends who are not members
of our churches or Sunday schools
to aid in this noble work Stats
tics show that more than one mil
lion foreigners come to our coun-
thy every year. We are trying to
give every one of them copy of
The Bible printed in their own
language, besides, the opening of
the Panama Canal necesitates our
sending Missionaries to that field
unless our brethren do heroic
work we will not be able to meet
all of our obligations some of our
good sisters have promised to
give all the eggs laid by their hens
on Sundays during the month of
April. We trust others will do
likewise. Lets all rally the
forces and have the largest contri-
buttons to Missions to report in
our history.
Pay in your money to the near
est church, or you can mail direct
to w. d. Powell, Secretary of
Missions, Louisville, KY, or if
you prefer you can mail to me and
1 will forward it for you.
Yours in the work,
A. E. ALBRIGHT,
Brodhead, KY
Mount Vernon signal. (Mt. Vernon, Ky.) 18??-current, 1914-04-03

The March meeting of the Wo
mans Missionary Society OF the
Presbyterian church proved to be
one of special interest. The fol
lowing program was presented:
Hymn-Society.
Devotlonals-Led by Miss McCord
Ouartette, Misses Bertha Littou,
Rae Hunt, Matte Huff,
and Elsi Rhea.
Roll Call-Responded to by quota
tons from missionaries.
Business session.
Song with japanese chorus,
Misses Julia and Ruth Landrum,
and Dorothy Albright.
The Immigration Question.
Miss McCord.
Questions and Answers on Japan,
conducted by Mrs. Brown.
in Japan, Miss Clarkson.
Home Life in japan, Miss Rowlee
Prayer Chain.
japanese Etiquette-Miss Ream.
During the business session the
following officers were elected for
the coming year,
President-Miss Garrison.
Vice Pres. Miss McC0rd.
Secretary-Miss Rowlee.
Treasurer-Mrs. Furnish.
Secretary of Literature,
Mrs. ]. w. Brown.
Mount Vernon signal. (Mt. Vernon, Ky.) 18??-current, 1914-04-03
A TEXAS WONDER.

The Texas Wonder cures kidney
and BLADDER troubles, removing
grauel, cures dialects, weak and
all irregularities of the kidneys
and in boty men and women.
Regulates bladder troubles in
children. If not sold by your
druggist, will be sent by mail on
receipt of 500. One small bottle
in two months treatment, nd sell
dom tails to perfect cure. Send
for testimonials from his and other
states. DIR. E. w. Hall, 2e26
Olive street, st. Louis, Nc. Sold
by Druggist.
Mount Vernon signal. (Mt. Vernon, Ky.) 18??-current, 1914-04-03

LIBERAL COMMISSION AND
SALARY to look after our BUSH
ness in your community. Inter
ssting, digni6ed, healthful work.
international Magazine Company,
Ito w. ST., New York City.
Mount Vernon signal. (Mt. Vernon, Ky.) 18??-current, 1914-04-03

LET the Gleen-Green Insur-
ance law be a good law or bad
one as the case may be, who has
ever seen an expression from our
city dailies, editorially, for or
against? Just wal. until the mat
lis adjusted and watch the
Courier Journal howl 81 told you
ca
Mount Vernon signal. (Mt. Vernon, Ky.) 18??-current, 1914-04-03

CALEB Powers says he feels his
mind changing and may yet decide
to make the race for Congress.
The majority of the votors say
they fell theirs change when they
voted for him the last time, two
years ago.
Mount Vernon signal. (Mt. Vernon, Ky.) 18??-current, 1914-04-03

SPEAKER Clark and majority
leader Underwood have made q
mess of it in opposing Wilson's
policy in Canal tolls repeal bill.
Both will be relegated to back
seats. Congressman Sherley, OF
Louisville, looms largely upon the
horizon.
Mount Vernon signal. (Mt. Vernon, Ky.) 18??-current, 1914-04-03

= NEW TELEPHONE STATIONS.
J. Harve Brown, Level Green. E
T. Bryant, Pine Hill depot. A.
II. Hamlin, residence Mt. Vernon.
Jesse Malone, at R. A Welsh's
residence,
Mount Vernon signal. (Mt. Vernon, Ky.) 18??-current, 1914-04-03
.CASTORIA
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have Aluays Bought
s' s:.ss ss: .. GH2ZzZx

Lay down your hammers. Stop
knocking. Boost-Hammer users
are much in the minority. There
oughtn't to be any.
that prejudice and jealousy
If there yet remains the least bit Of
it in your system and use at least
part OF. your time in the general
upbuilding and lettering of your
town and county.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-20
MANY FROM HERE
SEE Stone LAID
Ceremonies Mark Formal Start
of Construction of Buffalo
Prairie Church.

The corner stone for the new ST., 900
Evangelical Zion Lutheran church,
eight miles west of Reynolds, was
laid yesterday after the morning serv-
ices in the old church. About 90 Rock
Island people attended the ceremo1-
les, some going in automobiles and
others by the Rock Island Southern.
Although the weather conditions were
not the best the program was carried
out in full. Rev. F. Kroeger of Hinck-
ley, had charge of the services. \
musical program was furnished by
the orchestra of the Immanuers Ger
man Lutheran church of Rock Island
Rev. +. ID. Mennicke is pastor of the
Buffalo Prairie church. II. w. Horst
of this city has the contract for build
ing the edifice.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-20

street. Thursday evening promptIv n,
O'Clock. Mrs. Elizabeth Terry. the
present matrun OF the Association
mousse has rendered her resignation
as such IN order to become matron OF
tne new Davenport Young women's
christian association. The board Is
therefore compelled to take action nj
once In an effort to fill her place and
~ Is urgent that all members attend
Ihose or the board who expect to AT.
tehd should notify Miss Clara Hamp.
ton' the secretary. not later than We'd
hesaay noon in order that reservation
or place may be made.
Mrs Terry has been associated with
the Association house for almost two
years and in that time has given salts.
faction along every line and her resig.
nation as matrOn will be regretted by
the charity workers OF the city.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-04-20
NORTHCOTT PREDlCTSA
PEACEFUL CONVENTION

In letter to p. ]. Carey. one of the
Woodmen insurgents, W. A. Northcott.
state consul of the society. predicts a
harmonious state camp, and thanks
Mr.. Carey for assistance in conven-
ton arrangements.
Mr. Nortlcott says: '1n reply to
your favor of the 10th instant, | will
say that want TO thank you most sim
cerely for the splendid arrangements
you have made, and | will leave this
entire.y in the hands of your commit
tee. l have no further suggestions to
make in the matter, and everything
you have done meets my hearty APP
prevail
Il believe we are going to have a
pleasant and harmonious state camp.
and the majority will rule. hope you
will proceed in the usual and regular
order and that everything will pass of
Il want 70 thank YOU very much for
doing me the honor of asking me 10
respond to the address of we-come.
With kindest regards
Yours Fraternally
wv. \. NORTHCOTT."