davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
A seesp.

John L. Toole. the famous English
comedian and practical joker. and Mr..
Justice Hawkins, who was afterward
Lord Brampton. were great friends,
They were at supper together ons
evening discussing the events Of the
day. The judge incidentally mention
ed that be intended ON the morrow
giving the man he had been trying
fifteen years because he deserved It
Az TooIs was lsaving hs blandly In
quired:
''Oh. would you mind calling at the
newspaper ofaces and telling them
about that fifteen yearsf It win b q
dip for them-exclusive information.
you know-and will do me NO end Of
good with the press"
Good gracious! No, sir.' exclaimed
the Judge. who took the precaution Of
accompanying Tools to his hotel and
seeing him safely to bed.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
He Meant We'll.

Lowell Sherman. q theatrical man.
hoped ON an Eighth avenue car.
homeward bound. As he took q seat
he heard the closing lines Of a duo
logue between a very pretty brunette
and the conductor.
Sorry. miss" the man in the uni
form said. ''but you'll have to pay or
get off."
"But. conductor" began the dark
eyed queen imploringly. III you'll give
me your name and address III send
you the nickel"
Cant do It" be replied. "It's pay
now or get or"
That was where Nj. sherman came
to the front.
MAY 1 be Of service to your" he
asked .weetly.
"Oh. yes. sir-' she answered.
-Please lend me nickel"
with the greatest Of genuine pleas
ure." said Sherman.
Then he found be didn't have red
cent. The conductor put them both
o6.-New York Telegraph.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
COURSE OF A PITCHED BALL
Why Straight Fast ons Jumps slds
ways In the Air.

WY = OtF1b0Uv = 00S Ss0 SSSbPV OsNsV-
ways In the All.
That pitched baseball curves In the
direction in which the nose Of the ball
70 moving because Of the spin-upward
II the twist given by the pitcher b mp
ward. toward the right II the twist =
10 the right, and 20 on--3s q matter Of
sxpssience that b quits comprsbenai-
hle, but bow hard pitched bail should
jump sidewise In most irregular
manner, although pitched straight
without spinning h certainly pushing.
In the Journal Of the Franklin Insti-
tute Professor W. 8. Franklin Of Le-
high university expounds the phenome.
non az well as the philosophy Of twist
ed balls. Multitudes Of fans who
have always supposed that the banning
qualities Of a Straight pitched ball
were due simply to It's swiftness never
suspected this eccentricity. Professor
Franklin states the case In this way:
Consider very smooth ball which Is
moving through still water without
spinning. There is certainly no more
reason why the ball should jump to
Sut Elkuk tAuu " LIC lGAL~ xucIE4VEG ~
must continue to move straight for
ward. That is good logic. But such a
ball Ii no more subject to logic than Ii
q sharp stick. The fact Il that the bali
does jump sIdewise and in q most ir-
regular manner. This may be shown
by dropping smooth marble In jar
Of still water. The marble goes nearly
straight for several inches and then
suddenly jumps sidewise. Similarly a
smooth baseball Jumps sidewise irreg-
ulariy as It moves through the air II
the ball is not spinning.
The explanation lies in the fact that
rapidly moving stream Of air splits
when 1t flows past ball with unstable
dividing lines or vortex sheets. The
unstable sheet will squirt now upward,
now downward. The condition Ia the
same when the ball splits the air and
Is shunted in a glancing manner past
the bat. The only requisite for this
bafiiing effect is power in the pitchers
arm.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
AN UGLY VISITOR.
his uawslesass Call orswsisa Abswt .
Dramatic Situation,

0ia ORHeleease Call orovaNe AooUs Z
Dramatic Situation.
The London representative OF an
East Indian firm was working late ct
the warehouse. A large consignment
Of goods. newly arrived. lay In tie
room that adj0lned his Office. The
room was a simple affair Of scnr chart
covered walls. There was desk In
the middle. few chairs. and large
nreproof safe. 1t was nearly midnight.
when sound from the next room In
duced the man to 60 to the door to In
vestixnte. Nothing seemed wrong and
he returned to his work, but left the
door ajar.
Presently q faint, harsh sound came
from the next room. He sprNng up to
behold the head Of snake protrudins
through the doorway.
When the reptile saw him 1t stopped
for second. reared Its head until IL
was almost on level with the mans
and began to dart Its tongue angrily
In and out Of Its mouth.
No novelist ever imagined more
desperate situation. The man was un-
armed and apparently without means
Of escape. The moment he withdrew
his eyes from those OF the snake, 1t
lowered It's head and moved toward
him.
But he had already determined on
his course. The great safe stood open.
He sprang Into 1t and closed the door
behind him. although he did not shut
1t completely. That would have meant
slow but certain suffocation. He
slipped a small cashbook into the aper-
ture and held the ponderous door open
about half an inch.
Meanwhile the python-for such It
was-in paroxysm Of fury. had dung
It's coils twice round the safe. which
The creature drew Its coils to the ut
most tension In an angry effort to
crush the iron safe.
BY an effort the desperate prisoner
collected his wits. He remembered
that a case. slightly damaged and
marked. ito be kept in a moderately
warm place." had been put In the ad.
joining room. and doubtless accounted
for his horrible visitor. But the ex-
PLANTATION, although simple. offered NO
consolation. Something must be done.
The captive racked hts brain sorely
until an idea struck him. Earlier In the
evening he had put one Of the ledEers
In the safe with long, black eraser
inside to mark special entry.
Cramped and almost doubled a. he
was, he found It no easy matter to
reach the slender weapon. the blade Of
which was as sharp as q razor. TAX
Ing his courage In both hands he
plunged the knife again and again Into
the folds Of the snake, where they
crossed the small aperture. There fol
lowed a horrible. tearing sound, and
the massive safe rocked ominously for
some moments. Then suddenly tha
folds seemed to relax and 70 wfithing
to the door.
Owing TO the extrems tension of ths
coils tho keen blade had almost sev-
cred the body in half From head to
tail 1t measured nearly forty fest.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
Identification Easy.

I was going down the street the
other day" the fellow said. ''and met
4 little boy crying. He was q miser-
able object and seemed to be suffering
keenly. SO stopped and spoke to him.
".what's the matter. sonr says ].
IA b-b-big boy hit me! he sobbed.
"'well, that's shame. You tell me
who the big boy was and Ill give him
q talking to that he won't forget
"'It was tn Simpkins boy answer.
ed the abused youngster. with show
Of interest. He's down there with all
those other kids
"Which one Of that crowd Is her
"'You kin tell easy enough. He's
the one with tn black eye an tn
bloody nose. an he's cryin' toor ~
Chicago Daily News.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
IN Fameus oId Paper.

It would be difficult to nnd paper
with more romantic history than La
Gazette de Hollande. In the seven
teenth and eighteenth centuries states
men Of the first rank were her con-
tributos-Lord Chesterfield and Fred
erick the Great, king OF Prussia. to
name but two of an illustrious roll.
During the war of independence WASH
ington sought the sympathy Of Europe
through its columns. In 1910 It was
temporarily suppressed by Napoleon.
In its modern form La Gazette has
accomplished good work In making the
Netherlands and her colonies better
known beyond their own boundaries.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
cRITIclslMa 4 CRITIC.
ps,ats Fs- ~ Pvrise Wks Fsssd
FtaWo In orsy's ~gIsgy.s

pss~ts Psr ths purise Wks Fswsd
Fla~e In orsy's ~GIsSy.s
10 look for and and In mastefpssces
little haws, real or imagined, - m oc-
cupation that must have its mysterious
Joys. otherwise. ~ II brings no proflt,
the task would mot command all the
time and labor that are devoted to It.
nor would every such discovery be 70
exultinsly proclaimed. This condition
Il based, o.. rather. III repetition. by
the letter In which Z correspondent
confessed that. having heard verbal
perfection ascribed to Gray's "Elegy." !"
b was moved carefully to examine the
yerses ON the chance Of proving this
praise undeserved. And he did, he
thinks, having found NO less than two
errors In the lines:
Their name. their years. spslt by the un-
lettsred muse
The place Of fams and eleGy supply.
Aud many holy text around she strews
To teach the rustic moralist to die.
"Name" should be names" this au-
thority declares, for the reason that
the stones bore not one but several
names, and many . holy text" being
singular, demands teaches" instead Of
''teachw
Now. just why Gray put the word
name In the singular and not in the
plural might be made the subject Of In
genious inquiry. with any one Of half .
dozen suficient explanations a. recon-
pense and all inconclusive, but to see
force in the diversity Of village patro.
nymics-that requires more than tnge-
nuity; It demands perversity. As for
many holy text" that does indeed.
the srammarians nay, insist that q
verb In immediate sequence be singu-
lar. Even the srammarians admit.
however. with innumerasle writer's Of
both verse and prose. that II the verb
be in later clause the plural idea In
volved In many" can properly be al
lowed to govern. Would our CORE
spondent insist that when the estima-
bio W. Scott. quoted BY Goold Brown
in debating this very question, wrote
In Hawick twinkled many light
Behind him soon they set In night
the "they" should have been turned to
''itf' The change would at least be
amusing. That much can be said.
Critics Of this sort never will learn
that rules for linguistic usage are not
applied to but are deduced from writ
err like Gray and Scott. that what
such men do il right because they do
It and that NO further justification is
needed.-New York Times.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
pomp psii.

Pompeii was destroyed by an erup-
tion of vesuvius on the night Of Aug.
"a, A. d. 20. The ashes buried the
whole city and covered the surround
ing country. After lapse Of 1900
years countryman as he was turning
up the ground found bronze figure.
and this discovery led to further
search, which brought various objects
to light. and at length the city was un-
covered,
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
GLOOMY CARLYLE.
nIs psssimssm and His Wsndsr aA ne
optimism Of Emerson.

optiNiosN ot 8moroon.
Thomas Cariyls's friendship with
Ralph Waldo Emerson y matter Of
history, but Charles Eliot Norton tells
in bis published letts1 that Carlyle
marveied at the optimism Of the Amer
ican philosopher. Writing In 1873,
Norton says: sAs We were sitting to-
yether just after ny coming In this
afternoon, Carlyle spoke Of Emerson.
There's q great contrast between
Emerson and myself. He seems vera
content with life and takes much sat
tsfaction in the world. especially in
your country. One would suppose to
hear him that - had NO troubles there
and NO share in the darkness that
hangs over these old lands. It's Q
vera strikin' and curious spectacle to
behold q man 70 confidently chssrful
~ Emerson In thsss days.
"'l agree with 70 IN thinkin' that the
times that arc eonin' Will b. warss
than ours, ard tAat hy and BY men
nay through long palm SD distfsss
learn to obsy The law eternal OF of1sf.
without which there can bs neither
Justice nor real happiness in thiA ward
Of in any other. The last man In Eng
land who had real faith in 1t was
Oliver Cromwell.
"'Well. 1t may be ~ you say. I'm
not such vera bloody minded old
villain after all there q cordial laugh,.
not quite 10 horrid an ogre ~ some
good people imagine. But the warid
- vera black to me. and see nothin'
to be content with In this brand new.
patent society Of ours There's nothln'
to hope for FROM It but confusion
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
Mekammedan e.renl&v,

A Aohammedan people enjoy one
great advantage over all others they
never suffer from the anticipation Of
that which II to come, and. ~ natu-
raj result. they can always enjoy the
pFessnt although only q few hours
may separate them from disaster OF
Dven from death. Their implicit be-
lief In an ordained future imparts q
diSnified rspose and outward calm to
all their actions --Biackwood's Masa-
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
VENUS AND MARS.
Ths rhss-y rhst Lie Esisss upsa
Dseh ~ These piaNs4s.

The Thssry Thst Lie Gxises upsa
Ds<h q Thsss psans4s.
We are bound to hold life 10 b. q
gsasrai phenomenon In nature. dsrelop-
Ing wherever the stars ars shining on
their attendant planets. and thus wher-
ever q star wrinkles In the depths Of
the ornament
Now ~ for Nars and Venus, In our
own system. 1t need hardly bs said
that they are surely inhabited By living
beings Of some kind Observations
show that Aars has rare atmosphere.
q day thirty-seven minutes longer than
our own. lLAsons Of the salss typs. but
longer duration: and snow caps At the
poles. and thus water vapor. though
the amount h small. Mars h desert
planet. with very rare air. about like
that In the higher regions Of the Him
aiaya mountains. Bot a. life ON the
earth extends 70 the highest plateaus
and mountains. except when perIet-
ually frosen. 1t may also exist on the
planet Mari. which has . moderate
temperature. ~ shown BY the forma-
ton Of clouds in the twilight belt. after
the sun has set for the Aartians.
The probability Of Venus being In
habited y much greater than that Of
Aars, for Venus rotates in q hours ~
minutes and In all respects 20 closely
resembles tbe earth ~ to be called bsr
twin sister. Venus has an abundance
Of air. clouds. water and also noun
tains and therefore seas, lakes and nv
sfs. The Seasons are Ike ours except
they are shorter. the year being 220
days In length. Why should not such
q planet be inhabitedi II man were
transported to Venus and landed there
without injury It seems certain that b.
could live and flourish phySically I'M
der the air and ten ;s'raturs Of this
beautiful pianet-T. J. ]. See In Lee
Hes.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
w.,t,d Emei.ney.

II shall never forget" said the popu-
lar statesman. "the crowd Of 10000
people who cheered me for one solid
hour"
Have you ever thought Of your ter
rible responsibility 7" asked the mathe-
matician. "An hour each for 10000 peo-
pie represents 10000 hours. or nearly
q year and two months devoted to the
exhaustive and unproductive occupa-
tion Of cheering."-san Franclsco
Chronicle.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
h.ppx padI

Happy padl
'Oh. Georgev' breathed Janet q
Eager excitement. did you tell fstAel
that you had saved up e500r ~
Eyes, darling"
~And what did he sayf"
"He said. Fine! You're just the man
I'm looking for ~
"Yes, yes; 60 ont"
"'Lend 1t to me, will your"-St.
Louis Post Dispatch.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
Strange Arabian Custom.

In Tnpoli cemetery the grave
stones. with bowls or saucers sunkeu
in the cement, Indicate that the one
who lies buried there was person OF
wealth and Importance. These recep-
tacles, however. are not for flowers, AZ
one might imagine, but to hold water
for birds. The birds are said to bring
good fortune. 10 the drinking basins
are not provided wholly for love Of
them.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
shielding Shields.

Senator John z. Shields Of Tennes-
SEQ was on the supreme court bench
Of his state for good many yearx and
was chief Justice when he was elected
to the senate.
The senator has q farm which be
doesn't try to run himself. but he has
also local reputation as 4 farmer.
Three years before the end Of his nrst
term a. Justice Of the supreme court
At political convention a farmer dele
gate tried to get q resolution adopted
BY the convention indorsin4 Shields
for reelection.
"what's the hurry?" asked another
delegate. His term doesn't expire for
three years yet"
II know that" the farmer delegate
replied. "but we'd better get this thing
sewed up. If we don't they are likely
to stick some lawyer up Tiers In John
Shields place" - Saturday Evening
Post.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
rhs F.mln,n. P.sed.x.

The uneducated woman has often
the quickest perception. the aneat tact
the most vivid sensibility. She will
feel without speaking: she understands
your inmost thoughts: she knows with
ost being toad.-London Black and
White.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
He knsv He Was orsn,atls.

He knsSs He Wac oraasatis.
Here il a story told BY Sir Herbert
Tree In Thoughts and Afterthoughts'
In reference to the many curious appli-
cations for employment he receives: II
received letter informing me that the
writer was q house decorator by trade,
but that. AZ circumstances over which
he had no control had recently subject.
ed him to epileptic nts. he would b.
glad to take part In my next produc-
tion. He added that hs had strong
taste for the literary drama. Of which
indeed he had several samples on hand.
The letter conciuded thus: To prove
to you that l am not lacking In dra-
matte instinct incloes newspaper
clipping. which please rsturn-' Under
tined In rsd ink read thsss words:
The prisoner. who denied the sssauit.
conducted his own case and defended
himself In . somewhat dramatic man
nerr"
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
1.x.xl

First Bee-who is that strange look
ing insect In our midstf
Second Bee-Why. don't you know3
He II the latest thing in the bug line.
He has taken the place Of the horse
ny. That's Weary Rivets. the automo-
bile bug.-St. Louis Globe-Democrat
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
oserae Ade on Matrimeny,

George Ade. discussing matrimony
in an after dinner speech at the Chi
cago Athletic club. said:
Marriage has the effect Of giving =
man swelled head.
"Many time. looking at this hus-
band or that. / say to myself:
"'Ah, II that man were only a. wise
N he thinks his wife thinks he is!'"
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
A Good apsndsr.

A Good 9psndsr.
"Do you believe that money has
germs on it7"
"It may have"
what in the world shall we dor
Don't worry 1t would take mighty
active germ to hop from the money to
you during the short time that you
keep what give you."-Houston Post.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
Easy way Out.

"My life Il made q burden BY bill
collectors"
1--WE discovered way OF getting rid
Of 'em that never falls"
"For heavens sake, put me WISE"
II pay 'em. my boy."-Boston Tran
script.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
A ossd Esamp.s.

Father Why did you run away.
Frsnxl Frans- Because mamma was
70 unkInd. Fati,sr-That h no reason.
Do ! run awayf
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
Helping Hm.

"Yon loved her very muchf'
$50 much that when her frst hus-
band died married her that I might
share her grief and 70 lessen It"
"And how did It work.
"Ftne! I'm sorrier now for his death
than she is."-Houston Post.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
Probably.

Mrs. Newlywed-I wonder why We
are growing tired Of each other? New.
lywed-I haven't an idea. Mrs. NJ
Yes. Maybe that ID the reason.-Lon.
don Telegraph.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
The First skyss-spsr.

The nrst skyscraper was planned (but
Aot built, By Partisan architect in the
gear 1901. II was to be more than
300 fest high and provide rooms for
200 persona
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
The
Scrap Book
sssiss and D.esn.


A miner who was proud Of bis boys
attainments at school one evening pick
I'd up q home lesson book and read
from it quotation which ran like this:
'Soms books should b tasted. some
swallowed and some chewed and d.
rested. Turning to his boy.
b. said:
aWhat's this. sonnisl Thou doesn't
eat books at school. does thar know
you ars very clever. but you cannot do
those nannygoat tricks. I'm sure. I'll
warrant that'u be one Of those print
sxs errors. aonnie."
"Oh. no. father" said the boy. MET
aphorically speaking. we eat books.
"Now. you cannot fuddle mo like
that said the father. ~ didn't 60 to
school very long. but ken that's one
Of those printers errors. Why. sonnie.
can thou not see? Hes put the word
Bacon in the wrong place. II should
be: 'Some bacon should b. tasted. some
swallowed and some chewed and di.
rested. Books '"-London Tit-BitA
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
Msssips the suppIy.

MrA Helter-Tommie. don't you
think you've had enough chocolates!
Tommie-No mother. There are two
left.-Life.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25

1t may be little further around the
corners Of square deal. but the road
b bettef.-Anon.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25

Coed mannsss are ths blossoms d
good sense and good fssdns.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
verv FIo%verv,


In a lecture the other day Sir Arthur
Quiller- Couch. the well known author
who In professor of English literature
at Cambridge. said that certain writers,
like the Hindu Babu, were always
trying to make ''our poor dear Ian
guage more noriferous, more poetical." "
Babus are notorious. Of course. for
their passion for using nowery Eng
lish. and they seize eagerly on any
phrase whether poetical or slangy.
that may happen to catch their fancy.
Sir Arthur gave az an example story
of Babu who wanted to send q tele-
gram announcing the death Of his
mother. A plain statement Of the fact
Of death did not satisfy him. 70 hs
wired. THE hand that rocked the era.
die has kicked the bucket!''
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
Accounted.

''The author have been reading has
such flowing style"
That's because he writes q running
hand."-Baltimofs Amarican.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25

Papa-Well, Johnny, you went to
church this morning7
Johnny-Yes, papa.
Papa-How did you like the sermon1
Johnny-The beginning and the end
were good. but there was too much
middle in it.-Philadelphia Press.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
hia Mistake.

Hio Mistake.
"Do you know anything about nfrt.
mgr
mo" he replied sadly.
II thought did. but when tried II
the girl married me."-Boston Globe.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25

sehs Did Her DsstS
10 make some pale faos brighter and to
give
a second iustsr to some tear dimmsd
eye.
Or zen impaft
One throb Of comfort to an aching heart.
Or cheer some wayworn soul in passing
by:
n can lend
A strong hand to the fallen or dsfsnd
The right against single envSous strain.
Ny life. though bars,
Perhaps. Of much that sssmsth dear and
fair
To US on earth. vii, no. have essn IN
The pursst joy. l.
Most nesr to heaven. far from sarth's al
Is biddlns clouds give way to sun and
And twill be well
II on that day Of days the angels tell
OF me. '.shs did her best for one Of
thine"
Helen Hunt Jacksoa.
The Meeker herald., 1914-07-25
Lees Foliage.

'-This is great age"
"What has struck you nowr'
'The fact that 30 many doctors are
successful without whiskefs. 1t wasn't
20 thirty gears ago." Kansas City
Journal.
Honolulu star-bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1912-2010, 1914-05-12
TAKES Off DANDRuFF
HAIR STOPS FALLING
Girls! Try this! Makes hair thick,
glossy, fluffy, beautiful No
more itching scalp.

within ten minutes after an applica
ton of Danderine you cannot find q
single trace OF Dandruff or loose Of
falling hair and your scalp will mol
itch, but what will please you mosi
will be after q few weeks use, when
you will see new hair. fine and downy
at first-yes-bu really new hair
growing all over the scalp.
Al little Danderins Immediately
doubles the beauty Of your hair. No
difference how dull, faded, brittle and
scraggy, just nloisten q cloth with
Danderine and carefully draw II
through your hair. taking one small
strand at q time. The effect ID amaz-
ing-your hair will be light fluffy and
wavy, and have an appearance Of
abundance; an Incompatible lustre,
softness and iuxuriance
Get % cent bottle Of KnowIton's
Danderine from any drug store or tot
let counter, and prove that your hair IS
as pretty and soft as any--that II has
been neglected or injured by careless
treatment-that's all-yeu surely can
have beautiful hair and lots Of It II
you will Just try a little Danderine.--
advertisement.