West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1914-01-22

-NmNlnnou Enquirer.
Hank-How can you tell he's from
BrooklynG
Tank-He's always blowing about
New York. 60 Dartmouth Jack o'-I.an.
tern.
When lovely woman stoops TO Jolly
And coaNos mankind for the vote
She don't got near so much. by golly.
As whom she raves and tears his ooati
Now York Evening sun.
He came home proudly and announc-
ed that he had insured his life In her
favor Tor 10000.
You are so kind and thoughtful.
dearest" she said sweety. "Ill never
say another word against your getting
a motorcycle" philadelphia Ledger.
our statesmen. generals and kings.
Like actors. day and night
Are striving TO mako good tho things
That their press agents write.
Washington Star
"How is your son coming on at col.
legeY"
"Not at all.
"Why, what's the mattcr?"
"IIe won't do anything but study
Baltimore American.
As soon os Mexico gets quiet
And when the Balkans are at peace,
When Ulster may no longer riot
And other present troubles cease
Our old friend Hobson will no doubt
Begin TO do tho best no can
To MI us with concern about
Tho looming conflict with Japan"
Chicago Record Herald
'"rhe agricultural department now
says the crow * the farmers friend"
"Umw grunted Farmer Whifletree.
Wont that alter your attitude to-
ward himy"
''Not n bit I've got lots Of friends
that I'm suspicious of."--Kansns City
Journal.
Tho boy stood on the burning deck.
with nre "A potent factor.
He felt no fcar-it may seem queer
He was movie" actor.
Spokane Spokesman Review
Johnny. you naughty boy. you have
been lighting again aud lost two Of
your teeth"
mo, ] amt. mother They are I'm my
pockct."-St Louis Post Dispatch.
love the movie actors
Because they never nnunt
Their Imitation English
BY drawing out II cawn't"
Peoria journal
"a mean trick. sayr
whats the matter?"
"Dobbs slipped into Blnels' room
while he was ont and snndpapcred his
favorite phonograph record. - Birming-
ham Age Herald
Tho sporting editor he writes
OF billiards Icarnedly.
But when he strives 90 WELD the cue
The sight Is sad 20 see.
Denver Republican.
'This fellows card reads like time
table: Jonns Smithers. a. NJ. y. M"
Nothing odd about that One OF
President Wilson's old pupils who's
just been appointed postmaster for this
village, st Louis Republic.
Talk about opera. music and art;
Talk about books n you must:
Talk Of the tarin until men depart
And talk Of the ways OF n trust:
Talk about fishing FOR plckerel and bass
And talk. n you will about pelf:
TAX about people you see rs you pass;
Talk Of anything else but yourself
Detroit Free Press
my love"
eyes. Haroldr'
"Wbat did your mother say when
you told her you were engaged 10 meY'
"Said she knew the silly season was
about due. Chicago Journal.
Tho dimpie ln her elbow fair
We thought begulinR. quite: but. gee
The gown shc now prefers ~ wear
Displays the dimplo IN her kneel
Judge.
Blk Wonder why Podeers doesn't
marry.
DIX guess hc realizes he'd be fool
20 marry woman who'd be fool
enough 10 marry him Boston Tran.
script
The wood for wooden legs Ia getting
Very scarce 'tis said
But always N seems. there's enough
To make wooden head
Houston Post
Marcella Bcauhrourh's mnnner ia
TXtrcmeiy ruutilious isn't n?
Waverly should say so. with the
accent on the punk " YOungstOw
Telegram
Roses are red.
And viOIofs are blue
BID for the coal
ia pretty near ouot
Los Angeles Express
You are vcrr Young 10 be regis.
iered pharmacist" said fhc lady With
the massive Jaw - wish the proprie.
Tor ~ wait on me and not any young
clerk"
Where Is your prcscriptionT I'm
qulred the proprietor. coming forward.
u have no prescription What I
want Is Eve two cent postage stamps"
Pittsburgh Post.
Poor Henpeck often makes me laugh
HE nerve Dee tries 10 sing
re calls bic wife his better haif.
ThouEh snes the whole blame thing
Exchange
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