The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1914-12-31
Tales of the Town


Walter Johnson is such an exper
topper as to indicate that he shoulC
have gone in for political career in
stead Of baseball.
Russian troops receive wages OF
about 80 cents month, which you
would think was scarcely sufficient
to defray their running expenses.
! DIR. Carrel, the noted surgeon, has
finally grated private's arm onto
an officer; and now the officer may
have trouble to keep from saluting
himself.
A newly married woman was hunt
ing the hardware stores for a jack
pot to give her husband as Christ
mas present. She heard him talking
about them in his sleep, and although
she doesn't know what they are used
for, wanted to get one.
A literary mother in town not
thousand miles away exhibited her
first born to bachelor acquaintance.
The infant set up lusty squalling,
and between yells the mother said:
"We're-thinking of-calling her
Hypatia." "Huh,' grunted the bach
elor, "better call her Hysteria"
MARY" said man to his wife. ~
called Johnny four times this morn
ing and he refused to answer, so |
turned down the covers of his bed
and gave him good spanking" ooh,
John" his wife cried, Johnny stayed
all night at Smiths and the hired girl
slept in his bed last night What
have you done, what have you done?"
Bobby's mother sometimes permits
him to run his chubby little hands
over the piano keys. Last week he
thumped the keys in the middle regis
ter with both hands and gurgled de-
over the emanating discord.
Then he touched the keys in the
treble clef and finally reached the very
last top ivory and jabbed it with one
finger. Hearing the faint, squeaky I
little high note he looked around with
a distressed smile and said: ooh, Muv-
yer, it's bwoke."
The bank was just closing up as a
negro with the check shuffled in. "Mis-
.ah Jones tol' me you'd give me the
money on this here piece o. paper" he
old the man behind the bronze graf
ng. 81 can't pay you," replied the
eller solemnly. "This bank is about
o liquidate." cts about to do what,
,oss?" 81 say the bank is about to
what it is for bank
o bust, don't your" ooh, yassah,
'assah. rs heared of bank Dustin,
ah. But this is the first time eve-
moved bank to bust right in my
ace"
An old Irish woman, who kept ,
mall fruit stand in Dublin, was dis
laying for sale few watermelons,
'hich had been given her. A smart ,
'ankee wishing to take rise out of
err, took up one of the lot, observing: }
These are tarnation small apples you
row over here-now in America we
ave twice this size" The woman !
owly removed the dhudeen she was .
moking from between her lips, and
polly surveyed her inquirer from .
cad to foot for a second or two. Then
! tone of pity she exclaimed: "Be /.
.bers, sorr, we must be stranger in :,
ireland, and know virry little about :,
ne fruit av our country when we :
ant tell apples from gooseberries." q
A young lady newly assigned to n
iral district school impressed strong
pu tHe HilHuS VI ntT pupils Tie q
rinciples of hygiene and the neces- c
ty of quarantine in cases of infec- t,
Gus or contagious diseases. One day b
ne of the younger girls was absent. d
he returned the next day and when il
sked by the teacher as to why she c,
as not at school, said her mother Ii
as sick. "Jeanie," said the teacher, Il
you must go home and find out what h
the matter with your mother and Al
it's anything catching you will have h
} stay out of school," The child did Al
}, and returned the next morning. h,
My mother says" she announced to m
lie teacher, ''to tell yo it's boy and h,
ye're bit careful it's not catchin'.'' re
& 4 Z ii
A little girl travelling in a sleeping oil
ar with her parents greatly objected hi
being put in an upper berth. She n,
as assured that papa, mamma, and W
cd would watch over her. She was "