The Richmond Virginian. (Richmond, Va.) 1910-1920, 1914-03-21

issssf. II would just make him re-
4 knew how,
Roads Detective Stories.
the machine is 60 much greater
UNoa hHrnseE. che office is 80 uiach
ercAser chan hinaSea1. the office Is SO
much greater than he can ever be,
ard che most he can do Is to look
erave enough and seh-possesse@i
Arugh TO seem 70 nh II.
.sI,nrrSe are blessed intervals when
! fcy~t. by one means or another,
xMt / am president OF the United
nfN.c< One means by which ! forget
Is to get a gyftline good detective
ssory, &c; after some imaginary Of
fender. and chase him all oNer-1pre-
ferrably any continent but this. he
aaxse the various parts of this CONT
.s40t are becomins painfully sugges-
eve 30 me.
: The postofTices and many other
things which stir "reminiscences sickited
Hlem Ger with pale cast Of thought,
There are poSfoffiCcs to which / would
mot think of mailing a letter. which
cannot tfsnk OF without trembling
wSrh tho Knowledge of all the heart
hurn1ngs % The struggle was in con-
nsction with getting somebody IL
ntAaaxi as. post muster.
"Ssyw II / ware free, ! would come
NOT irTfrcqueyTly up To these rooms.
You know / never was in Washington
but q very few times. and for a very
few hours. until / came last year, and
! never expect 20 gee the inside Of the
pxs1s1c buildings in Washington until
my term Is over. The minute l turn
I'D anywhere ] an personally conduct
ed 60 heat che band. The curator and
tire ASSISTANT c1rGtors. and every other
blooming oillcinl, turns MP and they
show Tao so much attention that l
don't see tho building. would have
TO say: Stand aside and Lest me see
what You are showing me.
Like An Animal Loose.
For example ! took a short cut
through the treasury department the
do 1snf roop sttIl vi Stuo5 'ABp L5qso
posite here. and cutting through. ard
there was a great scamperiHg OF
custadians and what-not up to the
secretary of She treasury's Office. cry
irsg The president is in the building
as II come fnenagerie animal or some
thing that had to be attended, were
fofYse
The secreSary Of the treasury a
few days after said L understand You
visited the treasury. Not at all /
said. 4 took a short cut through Il.
and escaped as soon as ! could
Everywhere ] go / have that. Some
flee. ! am going TO come back 70
Washington and see 1t. In the mean
time, / am In the same category as
the national museum, the monument,
the Smithsonian institution. or the
congressional library. and everything
thai comes down here has to he shown
the president. If only knew an ex-
hibition appearance 10 assume--ap-
parently i can assume other appear
ances that do not show what is going
ON inside would like to have 1t
pointed out, so that / could practice il
before the looking glass, and see If
] could not look like the monument.
Being regarded as IA national exhibit.
II would he much simpler than being
shaken hands with by the whole
United States
Supple Against Breaking Law
And yet. even that is Interesting
to me. simply because / like human
beings. It's a pretty poor crowd that
does not interest you. l think shat
they would have TO he all members
Of that class that devotes itself II 'e&-
pensa regardless of pleasure in order
to be entirely uninterestine. These
look so much alike-spend their time
trying to look so much aiike-and so
relieve themselves of all responsibility
OF thought--that they are very mo-
q crowd picked UP off the street - just
q jolly lot--a Job lot OF real human
beings, pulsating with life, with all
kinds Of passions and desires.
ut would be a great pleasure (.
unobserved and unattended, / could be
knocked around as / have been ac-
custofned to being knocked around all
my life: il ! could resort TO any de-
hghtful quarter, to any place in WASH
ington that | choose. | have some
times thought of going To some
costumer' s-some theatrical costum-
er's--snd buying an assortment Of
boards. rouge, and colorng and all
known means Of Disgusting oneself II
il were not against the law
y GU see | have a scruple az presi.
dent against breaking he law, and dis
guising oneself is against The law. but
II could Disguise myself and not gel
caught, ] would go out he a fref
s American citizen once more, and have
d jolly time
Il might then meet some of you
gentlemen and actually tell you wha
really thought"