The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1914-01-15
THE NEwsfERAD HnsBoRo OHIO THURSDAY JANUARY l5
Something
Wrong
By F. A. mitchell

he CuuhIIN guns w tiV NNA"'
ton bowwows.
whats the matter now, old manF
"Why, this income tax is an out
rage. They allow "a married man a
$4,000 exception and single man only
$1,000. We poor bachelors are doom
ed to live alone. We have no home. no
wife. no children. Our expenses are
necessarily higher than those of
married man, who doesn't have to be-
long to club and spend the money
that is an essential of the bachelor
state. Notwithstanding all this, |,
who have an income of $4,000, have
to pay tax on $1,000, while the mar
ried man with the same amount goes
scot free. It's IN outrage"
"lf you prefer the married mans
place. why don't you take a wife?"
"By Jove. believe I'll do 1t. Just
to get ahead of the government
This dialogue took place between
Dick Ryerson and Arnold Thurston.
bachelors. in the Calumet club one
morning after the first publication of
the terms of the income tax. The
complainant, Ryerson. though his in.
come was all expended on himself.
had hard time making ends meet,
and any reduction of the amount
whatever was liable to upset his
financial calculations.
''ln order to beat EN-" Thurston re-
piled to the last remark, you'll have
to marry girl without more than
$1,000 year. Anything over that will
be combined with your own income
and must pay tax"
Il don't suppose the only girl in the
world | want has cent of income.
| can write her a note asking her
about it before | propose"
THAT would be a brilliant scheme
She would probably write back that if
you wanted her on money considera-
ton you could look elsewhere for
wife"
Il won't put it that way. I'll tell
her that | don't wish my wife to have
any income at ALL that she is to rely
on me for everything. and If she has
no money it's a proposal: If she has, it
isn't. See?'
"Oh, yes; see" doubtfully.
well. what do you see?"
Fireworks
When an idea gets into the head OF
confirmed bachelor. especially as to
matrimony, no one can tell just what
ne will do. Mr. Ryerson did just what
he had said he would do and without
the expected fireworks. Miss Enge-
heart, to whom he made the singular
conditional proposition. was rather
pleased with it. She wrote the pro-
poser that since she came within his
conditions which she con-
sidered worthy of manly man-she
accepted his proposition
The day after he received the ac-
ceptance he met his friend Thurston
again at the club
I'm going to beat the government"
said RyersOn.
"How?" asked Thurston. somewhat
astOnished.
I'm going to marry n girl who has
nothing and pay no tax"
"Come off! You're guying me-"
Fact" And he gave Thurston Miss
Engleheart'S letter to read. The latter
scratched his head.
"Dick." he said presently. there's
something wrong somewhere In this
case"
"Why do you think so?"
well, your proposition is so unheard
Of that I can't conceive Of any woman
taking it seriously"
Ryerson paled.
'I'm afraid you're up a tree"
what can do?"
"Crawfish"
~ won't do that. Fact is | don't
want to do that. I'm in 1t, and I'm
going to stay In it."
Well ii may come out all right.
There's one thing can say to you to
that any girl receiving such a propo-
sition-that is. your making any con-
ditions whatever would send it back
with Il stick of dynamite attached.
But I've observed this about women:
They generally do just the opposite
from what one expects them to do"
This is encouraging. isn't it?''
IT'S all the comfort can give you"
Ryerson stayed on ii. as he said he
would and after brief engagement
he was married He remained away
from his club during the honeymoon,
but as soon as II had passed he made
his appearance there. The first man
he met was Thurstou
We'll, old chappie' said the latter.
80 you've beaten the government"
RyersOn's face fell. do you re-
member what you said about there be-
ing something wrong?"
"Yes. but | hope was wrong"
And that you said woman would
always do what you expected her moi
| 70 dO?''
| why, yes I remember that too.
hope nothing has occurred to make
| you regret
'Oh. no: nothing like that. but
lifn't beat the government after ALI"