The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

MIS-. snyder VIII De at nome dIL6T
July % at 2204 W. North avenue. Mr..
Snyder is nephew of the late Miss
Eliza Lynch, and a brother of Misc
Eta Snyder, of this city. Not even
Mr.. Snyder's parents knew of his
matrimonial intention. The bride and
groom are spending their honeymoon
at Atlantic City.
ON THE FUNNY BONE.
Fat should be kept in a cup or bowl
and then clarified. Add small guam
tity of water and cook slowly, and
when all the sputtering has stopped
strain through cloth.-St Louis Star.
Somehow or other, 10 seems to be %
whole lot harder to pull Off do-noth-
ing session Of Congress now than it
was when Mr.. Aldrich and Mr.. Can
non were managing the country.-IR-
dianapolis News.
Let no pleasure tempt thee, no
profit allure thee, no ambition corrupt
thee, no example sway thee, no per-
suasion move thee to do anything
which thou knowest to be evil
Franklin.
My dear Reginald, now that you've
left college, you must really begin
looking for some sort of employment"
But don't you think, mother. it
would be more dignified to wait till
the offers begin coming in?"-Life.
%
luxury" exclaimed the heiress haught-
lily, Try mine for change" sug-
gested the impecunious young man.
Bill-"Do you believe it il possible
for a person to be talked to death?"
Jill-Sure! Don't you know that the
average woman is said to live two
years longer than the average man."
I-Yonker's Statesman.
Skirts are to be fuller and thicker,
the fashion experts say, but we fear 1t
has come too late to prevent race
| of popeyed men.-Little Rock Gazette.
Employer-'Want more pay? Why,
only hired you last week." Office
Boy-"Yes, but it costs me more to
my hair fore got this job. Chicago
News.
Hot in Florida! Well, suppose it
is; we have to raise a few alligators
for the tourist and trunk trade.
Florida Times-Union.
Mrs. Noowed-"Oh, John, our cook
g. p mfu
Mr.. Noowed-"What makes you think
so?" why she's been sitting on the
kitchen floor with a bottle in her
hand, singing. And when l asked her
what was the matter, she threw the
bottle at me and said, I'VE won't go
home until morning. Washington
Herald.
They say celery il splendid thing
il you require Sleep" Not in my
case. I have to get up at 4 O'Clock iR
the morning to take it to market. =
Union Transcript.
A Frenchman says he can read
mans character by his hair. If the
man is bald, is he therefore without
character Dispatch
Bobbie (who has been sent over for
the fifth time to find out how MTs-
Brown is)-"All right, ma; she's
dead Baltimore American.
IF you must have pet, get pig"
advises DR.. Quigley, of North Platte,
Neb.; but some poor women wait an
til they're grown up.-WashingtoR
Post.
"Jiggs says he has the greatest re
spect for your judgment" He ought
to have. I advised him to marry
Mrs. Jiggs."- Express.
do you suffer with the heat in SUM
mer" Yes, indeed, more than In any
other ason."-Baltimor American.
Henry Watterson calls Mrs. Pank-
hurst "old Hell's Delight" We don't
think that even He'll would be de-
lighted with her.-Tampa Tribune.
"One hundred and nine degrees at
Radcliffe was the headline that
greeted Mr.. Fallguy's eye. Great
Caesars ghost" he exclaimed. How
Buffalo Express.
Before we were married my wife
swallowed everything ! said" How
is it now?" Now she often makes
me eat my own words. Boston Tran
script.
"a magazine writer says that kiss
on the forehead denotes rverence. We
might add that kiss on the ear de-
notes that the girl is an artful dodg-
er.-Kansas City Times.
Why does Jinx hate you SO vim
dictively?" Because / did Just ex-
actly what he asked me to do" What
in the world could that have been?"
HE told me to- be honest with him
and tell him just where his faults
were, and I Houston Post
The postmaster at Medicine Lodge,
Kan, is named U. C. Herr. Sounds as
if he were named after a silhouette
Union.
Silas (the hired man)-"Gosh, boss!
It's not much fun with the theF-
mometer 102 In the shaded" Farmer
Haystack (from the piazza)-"WAaE,
yer dern fool! What's that To YOU?
You're not going to work In the