Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-05-10

view must climb a narrow, steep stair
way that curls around and around until
he feels more like human corkscrew
than anything else he can think or py
the time he gets to the top.
The Monument allows a choice between
800 steps and an elevator. which makes
the $50 feet in five minutes. Any tourist
addicted to nerves is recommended to
note the comfortable assurance Of the
engineer, who starts his car every morn
ing at O'Clock and keeps it running
until 4 O'Clock. Five minutes going up,
FIVE minutes coming down, always
crowded, and never a hitch! Man, scrip
turally considered. is liable to Short
comings. but when 1t comes to cables,
counterbalances and control, ne IS
practically infallible. The elevator
proves it.
The stair route takes every tick of
twenty minutes, and as the average
tourist possesses more or less of that
valuable quality known outside Of
physiology as horse sense-notwith-
standing the Rube-yat of the comic
supplement-each incoming party seats
and waits its turn to be hoisted.
Naturally, there are exceptions-there
must be, to prove the rule. And. when
YOU come down to 1t. exceptions have
their uses. in that they serve as
clowns to relieve the dull e1cellencies
of life. Yesterday, for an illustra-
ton:
a couple reached the Monument door
as the car was filing up. and the man
told the woman to hurry. But the
woman took her time.
I'VE will walk up and ride down; it's
safer
Great Scott. woman: You don't
want me to tote my little old two hun
dred and sixty up a mile of steps. do
youo II you are going to ride one day.
what's the matter with going up in the
elevator and walking DOWN."
Because. When you ride up the dan
ger increases every minute. Coming
down it grows less
The woman put foot on the first
step and the matter was settled.
Though the mans mustache went up
and his nose came down. like the
sneery man in Dickens. he followed.
And another man said to another
woman:
Moneys on her side of the house" He
said it with a conviction which implied
that human nature was a book which he
had written. And that's all there was
to that.
AS the car started upward the thirty
odd passengers took on composite eN-
preston OF grit. A tall man timed the
run by his watch. Two women continued
a good -natured talk over some parade III
which one of them was to carry pan
ner and the other wouldn't be caught
dead in and a young girl who looked
like April, turned human. awaited her
self of the opportunity to cling to youth
OF the famboyant pattern. Ostensioiy,
they were riding to the top of the Monu-
ment. but anybody with two eyes. or one
good one. could see that the youngsters
were strolling together through those ely
sian fields which only loves young dream
ers may tread. And no one who went up
that trip can ever in this world be able TO
forget the oldish woman who explained to
her friends just why she had returned
from Florida sooner than she had In
tended.
Il wanted to stay the cold weather out,
and fully meant to. 1t was mighty COM
Portable down there. fishing in glass
bottom boat, with bass swimming twenty
feet under the blue; with palms waving
all along the shore and flowers blooming
every which way. and me in white
wash dress without SO much as scarf
on me-but l guess 1 can take hint as
well as the next, Why. l heard one of
them boys with my own ears tell my
Freddy that if he had a rich old maid
aunt he'd take her out walking in the
swamp some night and see what an ALI
.ator could do for her And. while my
!. -9...y. :. COED 10y. You never can lei