davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
DAWES BELATED LUCK
Twenty Years of Improbable Time
Was What Worried the Old
Gentleman.

Charley Sessions, secretary Of state.
says that while he was taking his
summer vacation up in Minnesota a
couple of years ago he met a charac-
ter at the little village up in the
woods, known as Uncle Dave" says
the Topeka (Kansas) Capital. The
old mans only occupation was carry
ing the sack of mail ove from the
depot to the p~ostofice once a day. 1t
was all he could do to subsist and it
was a mighty lean subsistence at
that. Last year, when Secretary Ses-
sions went back again on his vacation
he did not see Uncle Dave" and
asked where he He was in
formed that "Uncle Dave" had gone
to Minneapolis to have a blowout.
Charles was surprised that uncle
Dave" had been able to gather enough
money to go to Minneapolis. "tUncle
Dave has had a streak of luck" said
his informant. "He went over here to
a n~eighboring town and fell through
a hole in the sidewalk, He sued the
town and they compromised by agree
ing to pay Uncle Dave a pension Of
$75 a month" Some days after thai
Charley met uncle Dave who told
him all about his good fortune. Eyes
sir" said Uncle Dave" Il am in
big luck, but think what a time
might have had if I hsd found tina
hole 20 years ago.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
TERRIBLE ON LIMB

r. F. d. No. 3, Clarkfeld, Mimi
my trouble was Of long standing. 1t
started with some small red and vel
low spots about the size of a pin head
on my leg and every morning there
was a dry scale on top covering the
affected part and when those scales
were falling off the itching was more
than l could stand at times. The first
year | did not mind it SO much as 1t
was only itching very badly at times,
but the second year 1t advanced all
around my leg and the itching was
terrible. l had to be very careful to
have my clothing around the affected
part very loose. At night time l often
happened to scratch the lore in my
sleep. Then / had to stand up, get out
of bed and walk the floor till the spell
was over.
Il bought lots of salves and tried
many different kinds Of medicine but
without any success. ! got a cake Of
Cuticura Soap and a fifty-cent box OF
Cuticura Ointment and when I had
used them | was nearly over the itch
ing. But I kept On with the Cuticura
Soap for six weeks and the cure was
complete" (Signed) s. o. Gordon,
Nov. 20, 1912.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post
card "Cuticura, Dept. L, Boston ADV
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
NO CHANCE FOR HIM THEN
UnIucky Man Realizes That Opportu-
nifty for That Day Had Departed
From Him.

An official of the st. Paul road tells
how when a certain branch in Mime
sofa was in course of construction, its
progress was a matter Of great inter-
est to the people of the region. A
farmer who sold provisions to the con-
tractors often reached the place where
the men were at work at meal time.
The work was hard, and when the bell
rang, every man made a dash for the
table, and before n could believe it
possible, the food had disappeared.
On one occasion a workman, on
his way to the table, tripped over
the root of a tree and fell. He lay
quite still, making no attempt to
rise.
At this juncture the farmer rushed
up in great concern. The fallen one
assured him that he was not badly
hurt.
"Why don't you get up and go to
dinner?"
whats the use?" asked the mar
on the ground. ITS too late now"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Public Opinion.

Public opinion is what we think
other people are thinking; or it is
what we think other people think we
think. When we think we are think
ing like other people, then we think
they are thinking as we think. That
is what we think is public opinion.
When we meet someone who does
not think as we think, then WI think
that is not public opinion. When we
meet, or hear Of, a number who do
not think as we think, then W. think
that what they are thinking is some
thing contrary to what public opinion
ought to be, and. indeed, will be, as
soon as they all begin to think as we
think they ought to think.
Public opinion is of two kinds
what it is not, and what we think it
is. On the other hand, what we think
is public opinion may not be what we
think it is.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Arms and the Child.

Girl scouts exist in Germany also.
Instead of campfire girls they call
them something that sounds like a
mixture of Fenimore Cooper and mu-
steal Observation-Disclosures is the
literal translation. Apparently, too,
they go in for being military with true
German thoroughness. One reads how
a head game warden presented him
self at the shop of a dealer in firearms
in Berlin and desired to purchase a re
volver.
"a revolver!" said the dealer. ! I'm
sorry, sir, but I've just sold the last
gross of ~revolvers in the shop to the
Potsdam battalion Of girl scouts"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Activities of Women.

Governor Johnston of California re-
Gently appointed a board of women to
assume direct control of one of the
most important reformatory institu-
tons.
Miss Florence Sanville and Fanny
C~ochrane, two Philadelphia women,
are taking a curse in agricultural
economics at the University of Wis
consin.
The Countess de la Gueriviere, who
was the first m cab driver in
Paris, has gone into a new venture,
that of a nurse in a Paris hospital for
dogs, cats and birds.
There are only $4,000, 900 married
women in the United States who could
be divorced, and during the past year
10000 couples have found that they
were mismated.
A California woman has erected a
remarkable residence for herself al
the age of seventy-three. With the
exception Of the roof, frame and
floors, the house was built entirely by
her.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
BROCHURES SHIRT FROM TREE
Native Of New Granada Has Little
Trouble Securing Garment Suit
able for His Needs.

1t is comforting at least to know
that the sad "Song of the Shirt does
not apply to all parts of the world.
In the forests of Oronoko, situated on
the slope of New Granada, nature has
provided what serves as a ready-made
shirt for the natives. 1t is obtained
from the marina tree, a species of
tropical palm, which has a thin,
fibrous red bark. When a native
wants a shirt he simply cuts a piece
of one of these trees about IL inches
in diameter and takes off the bark,
managing SO as not to cut it in any
way, and thus obtains a hollow cylin-
der of flexible bark, somewhat re-
sembling a rough sack without any
bottom. He then makes a small slit
in each side for his arms to go
through and puts it on. 1t is only
during the rainy season, however, that
natives conform to the requirements
of civilization sufficiently to wear gar
ments of any description.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
HEIREss KEEPS ON SWEEPING
Wants to Get the Money FIrst-Broth-
err Also Enriched, Is of the
Same Mind.

Los Angeles, Cal.-Mrs. Isabella
Wilson Bejar Of San Pedro was WELD
ing a broom in the little hall Of her
five-room cottage-"Rooms for rent"
hanging on the outside-when she was
told she was heiress to one-third Of
$1,000, 000.
Mrs. Bejar did not let the broom
drop. 7 heard last summer that may
be I would get some money" she
said, without excitement.
What are you going to do with it,"
Il want to get the money first, and
then l will start a stock ranch in Ore
gan" she said. That did not smack
OF limousines, gowns from Paris or
idleness. But still Mrs. Bejar has
ideas.
Il have been struggling for a long
time" she said, "and | guess money
will be about as welcome in this
house as any other thing that I know
Of"
She is a widow and lives with a
widowed daughter and two g~randchil-
dren at No. 218 Beacon street, San Pc
dro. The inheritance is from David
Wilson of Oregon, Ill, a cousin.
Mind you. I'm not being foolish
about imagining" she continued. i've
heard about people who we're told
something like this and, throwing up
their positions, buying things on cred
1t and growing suddenly very naughty
and then learning that some one else
was the heir or that there wasn't any
fortune. I'm not like that"
Neither is Mrs. BEARS brother, a
gardener of Santa Barbara. He Ia
earning two dollars a day and won't
quit the job until he really knows
about the one-third of a million.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Located Him.

One evening, when a water inspector
was going his round, he stopped at one
of the mains in a busy street to turn
off the water owing to some repairs,
He had just put the handle on the tap
and begun turning when a hand was
placed on his shoulder by a tipsy gen
tleman, who said, in a drunken tone:
80 | have found you at last, have
I? It's you that's turning the street
round, is it?"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Private of The Line.

Private Judkins WAS tho newest OF
recruits on the Texas border. The
corporal sent him back TO the quar-
termaster for a rope. Private Sniff
kins eyed him on his errand, and in
CURED what sort OF rope he wanted.
II don't know" answered Judkins.
"Well, III tell you" Smiifkins voiun-
teered, and he did. Judkina went on
and tackled the quartermaster.
Corporal sent ms for 40 feet Of
skirmish line, sir" he said.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
TREE WoRsHIPERs IN INDIA.
A Form of Religious Devotion Which
Has It's Pathetic and Tragic
fe Gestures.

iLondonzNot many miles from the
great city Of Calcutta. India. IN the
very shadow cast by the telegraph
pole-the f%orerunner of civihzatiop-
homogeneous as it is a common sight
to see devout worshipers at the shrine
of some gnarled old tree stump. but
the Tree Worshipers" Of India are
many, and their religion dates bach
cons upon cons.
The photograph shown here is a 81
lent witness to the d~eyoutness Of the
man and his wife worshiping at this
shrine.
To the traveller who comes from g
Christian country, this particular form
of religion is such al oddly that his
curiosity is aroused to the point of in
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
The Morning Sermon

CAS- judged by experts.)
Wasn't it grand?"
"Pity he hasn't a better delivery"
What a perfectly lovely voice he
hast"
plays to the gallery"
"These ministers think they know II
ALL"
He is so much in earnest"
"Why do, you suppose he dragged In
the Bible?"
HE means we'll"
Il thought 1T was SO beautifully ex
pressed"
"Punk."-Life.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Hiding the Worst.

We miss President Wilson's quiei
and trenchant wit sadly here al
Princeton" said an instructor in
Greek.
Il remember, at one of President
Wilson's receptions, / complained Of
a man who boasted of his bad habits.
when a man. said the president,
boasts OF his bad habits, you may
rest assured that they're the best he
has"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Amusinn Trait.

Lispenard Steward, at a dinner at
White Lodge, his Newport residence,
praised the self-made men of America.
"Quiet, reserved, dignified," he said,
"our self-made men are not like those
of England.
"'There's one amusing thing about
our self-made men, an E~nglishman
once said to me.
".And that is what?" said I.
""You get he answered, g manu-
facturer's guarantee with every one
of Them"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Titled Founders.

Eva Tanguay was congratulated
upon her recent marriage.
Its a love match, too, said Miss
Tanguay. TITS not the sort Of match
that our young heiresses make with
titled Founders.
"The average titled bounder, If he
told the truth, would, when he pro-
posed to a young heiress, make a
speech like this:
"'Miss Golde-Lotta--I love you for
your pelf alone"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Easy Solution.

Mrs. Nouveau-Marie What's the
trouble now, Mary?
Mary--Sure, an there's thrubble
enough, mum. Here we do be with
company for tay, an nary a bit O.
bread In the house.
Mrs. Nouveau-Marie-Oh, well, new
err mind. Make some toast.-Puck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Meltino Aluminium.

While charcoal should be invariably
used in melting brass and bronze,
states the Brass World, it Is not only
useless in melting aluminium, but dan
gerous. Aluminium is so light that the
charcoal is apt to become intermin-
gled with it, and the castings made
from it will have small specks and
pieces in them.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Daily Thouuht.

Just to be good, to keep life pure
from degrading elements, to make it
constantly helpful in little ways to
those who are touched by it; to keep
ones spirit always sweet, and to
avoid all n of petty anger and IT.
ritability-that is an idea as noble as
it is difficult.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
oh. Quit II!

The tea drinking of Great Britain
amounts to about 5000 cups per indi-
vidual for a year, according to statis'
tics, which probably accounts for the
tannin' her athletes get whenever
they enter into competition with US
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
RulI Walks Throunh China shon.

EuH WaFN0 WOuHH OHHHd S7VP'
London.-The ancient tradition, "A
bull in a china shop was put to rout
when a big bullock strayed into O
china shop at Lewes. The animal
sauntered through the lines of glass,
china and eartheware without break
ing a single article and then walked
Into the street.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Counting the Years.

Mollie-They tell me that a ships
life is 25 years.
Chollie-Well, there are a lot of
other "sbes' with much riggin' that
don't have a mate for long after that
number of years.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
nronned bead cuttIno wood,

Rutherford, N. J.-Advised BY tho
doctor to quit woodchopping because
It wac too strenuous, Phillip Mueller.
sixty-fve, said he thought not. Muel-
Ter dropped dead with the az In his
hand.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Would Rar snonninn.

Milwaukee, Wis.--.Cut out the
spooning in courtship and you will ell
inmate half of the unhappy marriages
Of today said Prof. T. w. Shannon
OF Marietta, o., addressing the Y. M.
O.. A. on sex hygiene.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12

Kansas City, Mo.-Frank P. Dick
son, president Of the Kansas City,
Lawrence and Topeka Electric rail-
road. had the laugh on two men who
held him up and demanded money.
lie had given his last cent of cash to
q poor family.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Maxim II stronc.

Yeast-Pm building an ice box.
Crimsonbeak-Oh, you are?
Eyes; what do they put in an ice
box to make it strong?"
Cheese. / believe"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12

DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate
and invigorate stomach, liver and bowels.
Sugar-coated, tiny granules. Easy to take
as candy. Adv.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Practical Effect.

Cant that man get along In his
talk without SO many 'damns?"
"I'm afraid not. He's a mill
builder"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
The Oriuinal Cause,

HE bent every effort to make
money"
81 suppose that is how he became so
crooked in his dealings"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Many school children Are sIckiy.

MHHy SCHUUE OHHuUH 1kfU DFOH1yt
Children who are delicate, feverish and cross
will get immediate relief from Mother Gray's
Sweet Powders for Children, They cleanse the
stomach, act on the liver, and are recommended
for complaining children. A pleasant remedy
for worms. Used by Mothers for "a years. Az
all Druggists, Csc. Sample FREE. Address,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Sources Of Activity.

"How active that old millionaire isl"
Eyes; got his agility from side
stepping autos and lodging his
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
At the Boarding House.

"Mrs. Scanthelp. are you much wor-
ried?"
What about, sir?"
"That the government will put its
probe into the hash"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12

It is human nature to expect a deal
er to sell you two 15-cent articles for
a quarter.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12

Fate sometimes makes a hero of a
man, but it generally takes more than
that to enable him to hold q Job.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Gettinu Scarce.

81 lost my head completely yester-
day."
"This viii have some effect on tho
ivory industry"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12

Man has always had q tendency to
go up in the air.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
Nc EXCHANGE.

Il see you brought back the same
umbrella you took to the banquet"
eyes; / didn't see anything better"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12

The man who wastes HIS time
doesn't seem to realize that he will
need 1t all before he dies.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12

When you see a woman wearing a
clinging gown it's a sign that she is
willing to admit she has a good fig
ure.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
His Guess.

Bacon-I see Kansas City, Kan, had
8S1 divorces in 1912 against 1924 in
1911.
Egbert--I take it that some of the
1924 divorced in 1911 didn't marry
again, then.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12

Time and tide walt for no man, but
you can't make d woman believe 1t
when she il trying on a new hat.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12

The ,puny child of poor parents
would be delicate IL they we're rich.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12
OnIy one ..BROMO OUININE,,

To get the genuine. call for full name. LAxA-
TIVE BROMO OUININE. Look for signature Of
=. w. GROVE. Cures q Cold in One Day. 2sc.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12

The one tale an average man is
usually ready to swallow is o cocktail.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12

Some people only believe half they
hear, and others believe twice as
much.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12

Putnam Fadeless Dyes are the cas-
lest to use. Adv. !
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12

my pa a lick your pa"
"That may be, but he can't lick my
MAJ
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12

No one is perfect. Even q mule can
learn something about kicking from q
man.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12

Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and g that it
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12

Marriage generates serious thought
~afteTward.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-12

Nightly coughing and torturing throat
tickle quickly relieved by Deans Mentho.
lated Cough Drops-5c at all Druggists.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1914-06-03
WATSON COCKTAIL.

Bruise with the ice twelve spears
of mint on the bottom of the pitcher
in which the drink is to be served.
pitcher to hold three pints.) Add
the juice of two lemons and one quart
of grape juice and fill the pitcher
with appolanaris or settler. Garnish
the glass with fresh cherries and
spears of fresh mint Serve at once.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1914-06-03


Rumor whispered that his one-time
friends avoided him, that club COM
mittees desired his resignation, even
that his mind had failed under the
terrible strain. -
Englishmen have scant sympathy
for coward. Few men would be
willing to live the life that Bruce Is
may saved from the sea. No longer
a steamship magnate, no longer a
Beau Brummel in Belgravia, sudden
ly among the missing the question |
of his whereabouts assumed the sig
niicance of mystery.
Meanwhile the lost director was
living (hiding were a better Word) in
a remote house on Co.'s Fhairrge, at |
the Heel of the Sea.
The loneliest road in Ireland runs
from Minna to Costello along the |
shore of Galway Bay. Sheer moor,
quite treeless, bleak beyond words, |
hardly stone cabin in sight, and no |
path but the straight mail road. More |
sterile than Donegal, more pitiful |
than Claire, the strange network of |
gray land and grayer water consti- |
tutes the country of lar Connacht.
In the heart of the Irish wilderness |
a solitary lodge shows white against |
its surrounding patch of green. A |
locked gate forbids entrance. Sheu-
mas, the old jarvey, flourishes an &C
cusing whip lash through the tenn
ing rain.
Look there where he hides in mis-
cry and shame. Never a gentleman
have brought here but was turned
away from the very door. Money he
has and all that money will buy. But
he cannot shake off the memories on
his mind. Day after day he must hear
thenn-the shrieks of drowning men
crying down the wind. This is his
curse. What he did will be remem-
bered until the Titanic is forgotten.
Lonely enough the place is. He
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1914-06-03

Of the few American negroes who
have found theiy way to West Africa
to settle in the negro republic of Lii
IBERIA, 80 per cent ore said to be I'M
prepared to meet the economic con-
ditions and express regret at having
left America.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1914-06-03
POTATO PANCAKES

Peel six potatoes and allow to soak
in cold water four hours. Crate them
and allow to drain ten minutes. To
every pint of grated potato allow one
half teaspoon of salt, one tablespoon
of -four, little pepper. Beat this all
together. Fold in two well-beaten
eggs. Drop by spoonfuls on a hot
buttered griddle or spider. Turn,
browning on both sides. Send to table
at once with apple jelly.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1914-06-03
WHY ISMAY FEARS WORLD

VIII I0WHI TENNIS VOhEU
by that time every wooden life
boat on the forward side had been
lowered away, and found they we're .
getting out the forward coIlapsible
boat. 80
CAS- the boat was going over the
side Mr. Carter and got in. The boat
had between thirty-five and forty in
it, most of them women. :"
Mr.. Carter and l did not get into
the boat until after they had begun
to lower it away"
Excerpts from Bruce Ismay's
story of sinking of Titanic.
The day book. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, 1914-06-03

seen men and women. here, decentj:
civil people, blue with hunger and
starved with the cold. But not one of
them all, old or young would change
places with the man who lives in that
lodge-Bruce Ismay."