New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-08-14

very we'll for the baby; but how long
are you going to keep it up'
OF course, you cannot explain to
the baby the inaccessibility Of the
moon, or the danger that turks in
the pretty fame; you divert his at
tention from the object of his de-
sire because that is all you can do.
Moreover, that is enough for the
baby; for his interests and desires
cling closely to that which is imme-
diately before his senses. But this
method works so we'll with the very
young child that we are inclined to
practise il even when he is old
enough to be reached by other meth
DDS.
Mere Substituting Insult TO His In
telligence.
There comes a time in his develop
nent when he is quite able to differ
entiate between that upon which he
has set his heart and that which you
have substituted for it. Then you
must stop offering substitutes. The
child is old enough to know that
there are some things he cannot have
and that crying will not bring them.
To offer him substitute for what he
has requested is an insult to his in
telligence, for it is as good as saying
TO him, you really don't know what
you want; you don't want to turn
the wheel of that sewing machine
now, you want piece of cake" Fur
7 thermore, it is demoralizing to his
will, for it says to him. "One wish is
Das good as another, so you may as
we'll wish what I have decided to
give you" 1t is the child's ability to
hold before his mind that upon which
he has set his heart which is to make
the will at the foundation of his
character and your substitute seeks
to destroy this ability.
First Refusal Should Be Final.
And yet, what's to be done when
what the child wants cannot be
had? Shall we let him cry and tease
until he is exhausted, and fix in his
mind the uncertainty that his mother
is Indifferent to his wishes2 Or shall
we teach him as early as possible
that first refusal is final, and let it
go at that?
The child is placed in an environ
ment wherein most things tempt his
curiosity or his instinct TO do some
thing" or try something" with them;
and wherein, at the same time, most
of these things must not be touched
or handled. When Janet wishes to
play with the baby as a doll, she
must be told firmly that t is out of
the question. In the meanwhile, how
ever, she must have something to
do, and the person in charge must
find the opportunity for her. We
must be on our guard, however,
against suggesting that playing with
the teaset or stringing beads Is just
as good as playing with the baby,
or that the new activity will do in
stead of the desired one. The atti-
tude to assume is this: We know she
wanted TO play with the baby as a
dell; but that is simply impossible
she must therefore find something
else to interest herself or to occupy
her idle energies
This may seem TO many mothers
like clubbing. But we must remem-
Der that the child is very keen to de-
tect any uncertainty, any tendency to
yield on the part OF those with
whom he has to deal. If anything
in your voice or in your manner re,
moely suggests that you are bargain
ing with the child, that you are offer.
ing a compromise, you lose, ever
though you may succeed in saving
the baby from the ruthless hands o.
Janet.
Asks for Things He Does Not Want
There are some children who ash
for things that they do not care yer,
much about, but they do care YER,
much II their requests are denied.