The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-04-16

By FRED C. KELLY.

A great many things might be said re-
gardIng Daniel Edward Garrett, Con-
gressman-at-large from Texas.
To begin with. he looks like a Con-
gressman-at-large from Texas. II one
were to attend a performance Of Hoyt's
Texas Steer" and then start right out
to look over the House OF Representa-
tives and pick a member-at-large from
the great Commonwealth Of Texas. Gar
rett would be guess No. l. He has large
mischievous eyes. 50 black and glitter
ing that they could brighten little chill
dren on almost any side street. and his
hair, which Is the color of the ravens
wing, hangs down over his face in
tropical profusion. A long black frock
coat and vast-brimmed black hat COM
plete the scheme. II Is just as II he
had taken one of the Texas Steer
Autographs. set 1t up in front OF him and
then made up for the part.
His friends twit him and say that that
Is precisely what he did. For Garrett
did not grow up 10 look the way he does
now. And in the beginning he was not
Texan at all He belonged In Ten
nessee until q few short years ago. prac-
| tIced law in Tennessee, and served in
the State senate. His hair was short in
those days. He looked Just like anybody.
Then a friend Of his down in Houston
pestered him into moving to Texas. From
| then on Garrett was a changed man.
Even his name became changed in the
| shuffie.
Whereas. in Tennessee everybody had
! called him Ed Garrett, in Texas men
| called him Dan. They called him Dan
| right to his face. But regardless Of
| whether he was Dan or Ed. Garrett
could shake hands in Texas just as well
as in Tennessee. And gladhanding was
one Of the things in which he eXcelled.
II was inevitable even before he bought
his wide-brimmed hat and let his hair
grow long. that Garrett would soon
grayitate naturally right into Office. just
as he had In Tennessee. The mere cir
cumstancs Of geography could not long
keep him out Of some high position OF
trust and emolument. II Garrett were to
move now TO England, il wouldn't be any
time at all until he would be dressed
in a tweed suit, exclaiming ''blarsted
Weathah"' and sitting as a member of
Parliament
And that recalls this little tale.
Shortly after he reached Washington
to enter Congress. Garrett met up with
an old friend from Tennessee.
We'll. IL it amt old Ed Garrett" ex-
claimed the Tennessee man; "whatre you
doing here"
I'm a member of Congress-" owned
up Garrett.
Quit your kiddin'." said the old
friend Joe Byrns is the Congressman
from our district You can't fool me"
But I'm from Texas explained Gar
rett. And my names Dan, not Ed.
Texas? Texas, Say. 1 reckon the
next time I see you. youn tell me you're
the Ambassador from Russia"
Secretary Of State Bryan was receiv-
ing a visit the other day from his son.
William ]. Bryan. jr.. who is young
lawyer of Tucson. Ariz- The younger
Bryan accompanied his father over to a
Cabinet meeting one morning. and. at
the suggestion of one of the other mem
bers tried his fathers chair.
L wish you would just remain there
right through the meeting instead OF
your father" remarked Secretary Jo-
sephus Daniels. rogueishly.
Why's that" asked young Bryan.
Oh replied Daniels. simply because
the rest OF us might then have chance
to talk"
Congressman Tess, of Ohio, dashed into
a BARRIERS studio back in his district in
great haste one morning, looked at his
watch. snapped the lid shut with a loud
report. and asked the operator at the
first chair:
Can YOU shave me without my taking
my collar off? You see I'm in a great
hurry"
All yes" replied the barber. who hap
pened to be one OF the foremost wits Of
YOUR hair without you taking your hat
off
Representative James r Burke, Of
Pittsburgh. the most nattiIy CARRIED
member of Congress. if pinned down to
II. will confess how he first became a
nifty dresser. In his college days. Burke
was struggling to make ends meet and
had all ne could do to keep a couple OF
lengths ahead of the wolf. He roomed,
however. with a medical student. who.
contrary to the general run of medical
students. had d rather fashionable ward
robe Burke used TO borrow his room
mates gay garments and swing jauntily
up the street to the srcat admiration
Of the populaCe. BY the time he had
finished his law course. Burke had be-
come so accustomed to being fetChinEIy
clothed, that he has stuck to il ever
since.
Col George W. Goethals insists on tax
ing excellent care of his health. Just
after he came up from Panama little
while ago. he met a friend on the street
in Washington. one cold blustery day.
After exchanging greetings. Cocktails
said:
Glad as I am TO sec you. you'll have
to excuse me from talking. I don't in
tend to talk in this cold wind.
Copyright 1914 by Fred G Kelly. All rights