The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-02-08

l( ALLAGHER has had letter firm Tom
" my slavin." said MIR. Dooley.
Who is he? Do | know him p
asked Mr.. Hennessy
Sure ye do" said Mr. Doocy Hes that red
headed boy that used to play third base on tn
brothers school nine. But now he's sicrety iv tn
embassy iv tn United States iv America to tn
rle coort iv Poosylanya, no less. He is that He
tn appointment on his merits f'1 he's tn best
tango dancer west iv Hasted sthreet an he was
thryin' to get in tn ligislachure away firm
OBricn's son-inlaw. Barrin' an income firm
father. there's no path to diplomatic career
thin to want good job at home that somebody
else is holdin' It's s,hrange how often vaultin'
ambition f'r an ineeryor office will land man in
something betther wanst knew v fellow that
got to be screty iv the navy because he wanted
to be congressman firm Massachusetts
Who's tn ambasadure? says ye Why, our
frind Pickles Schwartzkop that hardened old
Dmmycrat who refused to wear a necktie because
he said il badge v sarvichood NANNY
people used to cali Pickles arnychist because he
spoke so harsh about tn crowned heads iv Europe
An no wan liver thought v him liver bowin' his
head in re coort. although he's great expert
at sourin' tn cucumber an his name is house
hold wurrud WHEREVER ketchup is used. But he
nver knew nawthin' about pollyticks an he mach
rally become original Wilson man. TIL family
had him watched f'r other signs iv insanity up to
tn time iv tn convnton. an thin TIL docks
stopped holdin' light to his eyes an testin' his
knee jerk, an he become a great statesman, an
aven OBrien wint around TO see him, Afther tn
Fiction Dock Wilson stint fr him an said it was
his desire to put lithry men in tn diplomatic corps
an he'd been readin Schwartzkops advertisin'
matter an admired it gr-reaty an wud like him
to pick out place fr hnlsilf abroad Pickles
was modest an opy asst to be minister to Ger
many. but whin it pned out to him that tn
German mpror had socyai objections to atm at
tn same table with his former subjcks he con-
sinted to be hitched to the vacant post at Poosyl
anya, an there he is now, upholdin' tn honor iv
TIL flag while Tommy Slavin keeps alive TIL best
TRADITIONS iv our turkey throt
Anyhow. here's the letter: Carey Miguel
(Which names Dear Mike ~: Me an his ixcil-
lncy arrived here safe las week Poosylanya is
not as large country as O'Brien riprisnted it
to To tell tn thruth. its that small that if tn
njyneer v tn thrain hadn't put on tn emergency
brakes at tn borders we wud've gone through it
befure we cud stop. TIL principal INDUSTRIES
are market gardenin'. brewn', tn ARMY III
goverrnint. an tn tailor who makes tn UNIFORMS.
It's what is known over here as buffer state,
because it is placed between two gr-reat powers
that are always threatcnn to clinch Nachraliy
it's been squeezed down onti now whin they put
1t in map they have to use tattooin' needle
Tt' monarch iv this domain. which stretches
as far as TIL eye can see, is his majesty King
Charleyn1anpe tn Forthwith snjendd 6o,,re l.,
man, measurin' at Taste five be wan. He's tn
last iv his race, an whin he kicks out TIL peopel
will have to go shoppin Fl king in Denmark,
where they have hand me down store Fl mon
;ir'ls t'',stt '.'sIl. cr,..,. be-