Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1914-05-13

Some folks I saw last week were so
busy with their pipes and the Mexican
situation that they didn't have time to
clean up their yards. Such persons
may consider this cleanup week.
Some folks took it to mean cleanup
"weak.' -
An idle rumor never spends much
time in busy persons head.
I met fellow in the store the other
day whom know will get fine crop.
He is good example of what special
lied farming can do for one. This
fellow was buying some garden seeds
and l know from the way he acted he
will raise a crouch every time he turns
around. This gentleman specializes in
grouches and he always raises the
finest and largest crop of grouches of
anyone in town.
There are some folks in this town
| that are so virtuous when viewing the
other fellow that they are in grave
danger of bending over backwards and
breaking their spinal column.
Ophelia says: "Frekkils is beauty
spots but thay're too cheep to be
stylish"
The Duck Pond Road Philosopher
says: "There is too kinds O. folks in
Barton. The leaners and the lifters.
There has been good many leaners
back spell but think considerable
many O them is steppin' onto the
other side. Time was when every
knockers talking the town down. Big
debt, high tax, mean folks, lazy
merchants, dirty politicians, lynn
preachers, scandalous neighbors. bad
schools, rough streets, poor land, thin
milk, tough meat, dishonest bank.
cheap newspaper, slow postmaster,
unkept buildings, crooked sidewalks,
mean weather, no work. high prices,
stingy hotel, weak trustees. feeble
health, too hot. no snow. bum presi-
dent, rotten crops. cussed laws. Yes,
goin' over to the liftin' side. I hain't
heard no one kick on the weather for a
. week"
Said the old man of Abinger Hammer,
= Who was blessed with a wife and a
stammer,
!. The plague of my life
0 Is my W-W-W-Wife.
e iD-d-d-d-d-d-d-dammer
{ To me nothing adds quite SO much to
j a mans personal appearance as a
crooked pipe and streak of tobacco
juice.
e 1t looks just as though the Meddler
would have to name some of the
offending auto drivers in this conmu-
= nifty. [ give you all timely warning
There is speed law and blowing
, law besides the license and light laws.
s. A person passing me on the street a
few days ago tore wrapper from a
newspaper and threw it upon the
$ street. Last winter I saw a woman
undo package just received from the
, pOstoffice and throw paper, string and
9 all into the street. Such persons
ought to be made to take a rake and
t. work on the streets this spring. Take
lie little care, everyone, and it will
make our streets look much better.
5. Everybody in Barton ought to at
least know as much about their own
ID business as they do about other
in peoples.
ll1n IA l sat in the station at Newport
v awaiting my train. l noticed some
kind OF an insect roaming about on the
le back OF one of the seats. Poking Fit
e, with my umbrella he made out of
sight. Soon another and similar bug
was seen on the arm of my seat. He.
" too, disappeared with a slight motion
u. toward him. Then began to look.
Cockroach to right of them.
as Cockroach to left of them.
er Cockroach in front of them,
IN Scurrled un-numbered.
With apologies to Tennyson.
ii | paced the floor the rest of the
Sc allotted time wondering if the people
~ OF Newport liked cockroaches or if
the public is just compelled to put up
: with them-like the nuisances in some
- other stations.
sd Who is the gentleman in neighbor-
,e ing town who had an experience like
,e this while learning to drive his new
- car?
;. 8c:D 4
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