The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-06-16
Statesne.. Rel apd Near.


| &O1~ NU0f8V V<0kAA8AEs <s.< : ----------
Canal chisf, woyks on . schedules almost
down TO the second. Visitors TO the canal,
who 70 about with GosthAls ind that
they must reach the train or the boat
right on the dot or else they get left.
This hitting the schedule exfends even
Ito r6ceptioBs ara teaa Wives OF MEM
|bers Of Congresa who 20 down to the
canal are told. for example:
''Ths boat goes In twenty-five minutes.
This reception win last just twenty-four
minutes. leaving one minute to step over
to the boat"
And n they tarry over the good-bys,
they simply get left out Of the picture.
Gradually II has been instilled into the
minds Of Congressional visitors that there
10 no blur about Cocktails rule Of pune
tuality. They have fallen into the habit
OF figuring exactly how much time %
needed to dress. eat, and move from one
place 70 another.
When the appropriation committees
was on . trip Of inspection to the canal
some time ago. Chairman Fitzgerald
came In from q hot. dusty tramp one
morning with q great hunger. He had to
eat rapidly, for Il was the day they were
to visit the Pacific end of the canal and
he had barely time to catch the train.
Moreover he did not catch the train. The
committee was obliged to proceed on its
way chairmanless
On their return they asked Fitzgerald
how II happened.
1T had my watch in my hand" he said,
land allowed myself plenty Of time to
keep on our schedule. But forgot and
took two more swallows Of coffee than
I had figured on. That upset my whole
calculations"
B. r. Keith, the vaudeville magnate,
who died little while ago, was pecu-
liar genius. He could ask unexpected
questions at unexpected times and places.
Then. on the other hand. he could main
tain steady and uninterrupted silence
for hours at a time, when the average
person would have talked.
For example. Keith went to Cleveland
one time to have q conference with the
manager Of mis- theaters there. The two
spent several hours together and ap-
parently all pending business matters
were disposed of. Keith left his manager
about . o'clock in, the evening to go to
his hotel for q needed rest Along about
. clock In the morning the local man
ager was aroused from a sound sleep by
word that Mr.. Keith desired 10 see him
Immediately. Thinking that Keith must
have heard Of a chance to lease another
theater at a bargain. and had to act
himself and rushed over to the hotel.
He found Keith sitting quietly in the
lobby.
''Oh, here you are" was Keith's greet
Ing. do you know. as I've been sitting
here I've been wondering how man. ves-
sells of various kinds there are on the
Great Lakes It just occurred to me that
you might know"
The next day-or rather toward noon
OF the same day-Keith appeared at his
managers ONCE and remarked that he
would like to have a look at the Gar
field memorial. As the monument is out
some six miles from the business CEN
ter. the manager. arranged to have a
newspaper friend, who happened to be In
the ONCE. make the trip with Kieth-so
that he would have somebody to talk TO.
At Keith's suggestion. they made the trip
in a horse-drawn vehicle instead of in
an auto. and they were considerably
more than an hour getting to the monu-
ment Throughout that time Keith never
uttered so much as monosyllsbie. The
newspaperman determined that he would
let Keith say the first word. just to see
how long II would be.
When they got to the monument Keith
stepped out and went for an Inspection OF
the place, that lasted three-qusrters of an
hour. His companion remained In the
carriage. On his return to the vehicle.
Keith carried in his hand little pack
age Of souvenir postcards he had bought.
Still he uttered no sound. And during
the whole trip back to town neither man
broke the silence.
As the rig drew up in front of the hotel
where Keith was staying. the vaudeville
man at last ventured a remark. the first
either had ventuyed in nearly four hours.
He held the little package of postcards
toward his companion and said, with
solemnity:
II thought you might care for these. -
Representa- tive William f. Calder. of
Brooklyn, received a call the other day
from a man in his district who agreed
that he was a great hero and wished to
have Congress award him a medal for his
valor at life saving.
Calder asked him what the brave deed
was that he had committed.
We'll, our house caught fire some time
ago." said the hero, and i was the
first one dressed. / started to rush down
stairs alone, but i waited for my wife
and got her out, too. Any OF the neigh
bors will tell you she might have been
burned to death"
fulfilled only the simple conjugal ameni-
ties.
Copyright. 1915. by fred C. Kelly. All rights re-
served.l