davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19
The Gifts
That
Failed
-
By
GEORGE AIDE
copyright. Doubleday. Page & Col

X. SIDNEY PAYSON was
Nh full of the bitterness of
Christmas-tide. Mr.. Pay.
i son was the kind of man
| SrsStEeS who loved to tell invalids
| &NSHA that they were not look.
| ~ (E Ing as well as usual, and
| &EESS who frightened young hus.
bands by predicting that
they would regret having married. He
seldom put the seal of approval on any
human undertaking. 1t was a matter
OF pride with him that he never failed
to find the sinister motive for the act
which other people applauded. Some
OF his pious friends used to say that
satan had got the upper hand with
him, but there were others who indi.
Gated that 1t might BE bile.
Think Of the seething wrath and the
sense of humiliation with which Mr..
Sidney Payson set about his Christ
mas shopping! In the first place, to
go shopping for Christmas presents
was the most conventional thing that
anyone could do, and Mr. Payson
hated conventionalities For another
thing, the giving of Christmas pres
ents carried with 1t some testimony of
affection, and Mr.. .Payson regarded
any display Of affection as one Of the
| crude symptoms of barbarous taste.
II he could have assembled his rela-
tives at a Christmas gathering and
opened few old family wounds, re-
minding his brother and his two sis
tiers of some Of their youthful follies,
thus shaming them before the chill
dren, Mr.. Sidney Payson might have
managed to make out a rather merry
Christmas. Instead Of that, he was
condemned to go out and purchase
gifts and be as cheaply idotic as the
other wretched mortals with whom he
was being carried along. No wonder
that he chafed and rebelled and vainly
wished that he could hang crepe on
every Christmas tree In the universe.
Mr.. Sidney Payson hated his task
and he was puzzled by it. After wan
dering through two stores and looking
In at 20 windows he had been unable
to make one selection. 1t seemed to
him that all the articles offered for
sale were singularly and uniformly in
appropriate. The custom of giving
was farce in itself, and the storekeep-
ers had done what they could to make
1t sickening .travesty.
"I'll go ahead and buy lot Of things
at haphazard," he said to himself. IL
don't care hang whether they are ap-
propriate or not"
At that moment he had an inspira-
ton. 1t was an inspiration which
could have come to no one except Mr..
Sidney Payson. 1t promised a speedy
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19
On the Trail Of Friend Husband.

Mrs. Fury-Has yo' seed anything
o muh husband, Brudder Lopp?
The Night Owl-W'y, howdy, Sistah
FURY; howdy! Nome. isn't seed him
since long bout ten o'clock. But what
brings yo' downtown at dis time o
night?
Mrs. Fury-Lookin' for dat man o
mine. And hopes to de Lawd nuth'n
happens to him befo' finds him
uh-kaze is gwine to bust his head wild
dis club when kotches himl-Kan
sas City Star.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19
A Comparlson.

"Thege goes the Widow Blym. She's
been married three times and she's
still as pretty as a picture"
That shows the superiority OF a
woman over an automobile"
"ln what respect?"
After a car has changed hands
two or three times it's sight to be.
hold"
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19
Biggest Talker In the British House.

Biggest Talker In the British House.
Mr.. Lloyd George, the chancellor OF
the exchequer, is the greatest talker
In the British parliament.
The chancellor spoke 10 columns
Of "Hansard," while the prime minis.
ter comes sixth down the list with 10S
columns. The member who asked the
most questions was Mr.. Fred Hall of
Dulwich, who put $50.
In one sort of contest Mr.. Will Hall
Is easily beaten by Mr. VIII Thorne.
the Socialists. The ordinary rate Of
speaking is 100 to $50 words a minute.
Mr.. VIII Thorne puts his questions to
the government at the rate of about.
six hundred words a minute. Mr..
Hall cannot do better than a mere 450
words a minute.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19
observation-disclosures.

He has modern ballroom in every
way"
That SOP"
Yes. The smoking room has been
enlarged three times to accommodate
the husbands who don't dance the
new steps. Enquirer.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19
A Doubtful Frame Of Mind.

"Do you believe in unpreparedness
for war as powerful influence for
peace?"
I'm not sure about that" replied
Senator Sorghum. Il can't see any evi.
dence to the effect that no monarchy
would have the heart to shoot up an
unarmed nation"
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19
Like Bread on Water,

He-I gave poor man dollar yes
terday and told him TO come around
and let me know how he was getting
on.
She-That was good OF you; like
casting your bread upon the waters.
He-Yes, something like that Any.
way, he came back this morning.
soaked. boston Transcript.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19

fess to having known something about
that which men call love. We might
confess that we had felt it's subtle in.
fuence, at times and places. and with
a stirring uneasiness, as one detects q
draft. We might go so far as to ad.
init that sometimes we pause in our
lonely lives and wonder what might
have been. and whether 1t would not
have been better after all. l am afraid
that ! am writing this like a senti.
mental school girl. but you must know
that have been reading your charm.
ing little book. and 1t has come to me
as message from you. Is It not real.
ly confession, Sidney? You have
made me very happy, dear brother.
feel more closely drawn to you than at
any time since we were all together
at Christmas. at the old home. Come
and see me. Your loving sister,
GERTRUDE"
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19
SEEKING the ADVANTAGE.

What are you boys making such
o racket down there for?'
why, we're two big nations gone
To war"
But what are you both pummel-
Ing poor little Freddy for?"
"oh. he's a neutral so he can't
fight"
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19
Reversible.

Stella--l take my husband along to
help choose hat.
Bella take a hat along to help
choose husband.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19
No News.

Did you ask little Jimmy Wombat
about the fight over at his house the
other night?"
Yes"
And what did You get out of him?"
Not very much. His mother Is
evidently an exceedingly strict CEN
sor. Judge.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19

II isn't always love that makes a
man attentive TO his wife, Maybe he
Is afraid of her
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19
"WatchfuI WAITING"

What are we TO do for fashions, IL.
the war in France continues?"
Wear as little as we can, and
wait. '-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19
A Mlsanthronlo Reader.

II don't believe more than half Of
what see in print" said the incredu
lous man.
Trying to be on the safe side?"
Yes. And even at that, | generally
pick the wrong half"
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19

Methuselah had grudge against
bis wives, perhaps, and kept on living
to beat them out of the insurance.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19

YOUR OWN DRUGGIST WILL TELL. you
Try Murine Rye Remedy for Red, Weak, watery
just Eye comfort. Write for Hook OF the Eye
By mail Free. Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19

Speaking OF angels In disguise-but
what business has an angel to wear
disguise?
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19

Dear Brother: The secret is out.
suspected 1t all the time. II is need.
less for you to offer denial. Some
times when you have acted the cynic
have almost believed that you were
sincere, but each time have been re-
lieved to observe something in you
which told me that underneath your
assumed Indifference there was a
genial current of the romantic senti-
ment of the youth and the lover. How
can | be in doubt after receiving a
little book-a love story?
81 knew, Sidney dear. that you would
remember me at Christmas. You have
always been the soul of thoughtful
ness, especially TO those Of us who UNI
derstood you. ] must, however, con-
fess that | expected you to do the
deadly conventional thing and send
me something heavy and serious.
knew II would be a book All OF my
friends send me books, That's what
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19

Dear Brother: Greetings to you
from the happiest household in town,
thanks to a generous Santa Claus In
the guise OF Uncle Sidney. must be-
gin by thanking you on my own &C.
count, How in the world did you learn
that Roman colors had come in again
/ have always heard that men did not
follow the styles and could not be
trusted to select anything for a WON.
an, but 1t is libel, base libel, for
the scarf which you sent is quite the
most beautiful thing | have received
this Christmas. have 1t draped over
the large picture in the parlor, and II
Is the envy of every one who has been
In today. A thousand, thousand thanks,
dear Sidney. II was perfectly sweet
OF you to remember me, and call II
nothing less than a stroke OF genius tc
think of anything so appropriate anc
yet so much out of the ordinary.
John asks me to thank you-but
must tell you the story. One evening
last week we had little chafing-dish
party after prayer meeting, and
asked John to open a bottle OF olives
for me. Well he broke the small blade
OF his knife trying to get the cork
out. He said: II live to get down.
town again, I'm going to buy a cork.
screw Fortunately he had neglected
to buy one. and so your gift seemed to
come straight from Providence. John
Is very much pleased. Already he has
found use for II, as II happened
that he wanted to open a bottle OF
household ammonia the very first
thing this morning.
"As for Fred's lovely books-thank
goodness you didn't send him any
more story books. John and | have
been trying to induce him to take up
a more serious line OF reading. Tho
Josephus ought to help him in the
study OF his Sunday school lessons.
We we're pleased to observe that he
read II for about an hour this morn
ing.
When you were out here last fall
did Geneyieve tell you that she was
collecting silk for a doll quilt? She
insists that she did not, but she must
have done so. for how could you have
guessed that she wants pieces OF silk
above anything else in the world? Fred
and Genevieve send love and kisses.
John insists that you come out to din.
ner some Sunday very soon-next Sun.
day II you can. After we received your
presents we were quite ashamed of
the box we had sent over to your
hotel, but we will try to make up the
difference in heartfelt gratitude. Don't
forget-any Sunday. Your loving sis
ter, KATHERINE"
II would be useless to dwell upon
the reflections of Mr. Sidney Payson
after he received these lO:teTs
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19

u hAbhNt ~ tdht tntult nt cdiu,
Il want them for my nephew Fred. He
likes Indian stories"
The salesgirl looked at him wonder
ingly.
Now, then, l want a love story
said Mr.. Payson. IL have a maiden
sister who is president of a Ruskin
club and writes essays about Bud
dhism. want to give her book
that tells about girl named Mabel
who is loved by Sir Hector Something
brother. Give me a book that is full
OF hugs and kisses and heaving Dos.
oms and all that sort of rot. Get Just
as far away from Ibsen and Howells
and Henry James as you can possibly
get"
Here is a book that all the girls in
the store say is very good" replied
the young woman. ut is called Wiz.
gie's Betrothal; or The Stranger at
Brentwood Manor It's by Imogene
Sybil Beauclerc."
IF it's what It sounds to be, it's Just
what ! want" said Payson, showing
his teeth at the young woman with a
devilish glee. you say the girls here
in the store like IT."
Eyes; Miss Simmons, in the hand
kerchief.box department, says it's Just
grand"
"Ha! All right, I'll take It."
He felt his happiness rising as he
went through the store. The Joy shone
in his face as he stood at the skate
counter.
81 have brother who is forty-six
years old and rather fat" he said to
the salesman. 81 don't suppose he's
been on the ice in twenty-five years.
He wears a No shoe. Give me q
pair Of skates for him."
A few minutes later he stood at the
silk counter.
what are those things ?".he asked,
pointing to some gayly colored silks
folded in boxes.
Those are scarfs."
We'll. IL you've got one that has all
the colors of the rainbow in It, I'll take
1t. l want one with lots of yellow and
red and green in 1t. want something
that you can hear across the street.
You see, have a sister who prides
herself on her quiet taste. Her cos.
tunes are marked by what you call
'unobtrusive elegance think she d
rather die than wear one Of those
things, 30 i want the biggest and
noisest one In the whole lot"
The girl didn't know what to make
OF Mr.. Payson's strange remarks, but
she was too busy to be kept wonder.
ing.
Mr.. Payson's sisters husband Is the
president Of church temperance So
ciety, so Mr.. Payson bought him a
buckhorn corkscrew.
There was one more present to buy.
Let me see." said Mr.. Payson.
What Is there that could be of no
earthly use to girl of'six years old?"
Even as he spoke his eye fell on a
sign: Bargain sale Of neckwear."
Il don't believe she would care for
cravats." he said. Il guess I'll buy
some for her."
He saw box of cravats marked s25
cents EACH" =
why are those so cheap?" he asked.
We'll. to tell the truth, they're out
Of STYLE"
That's good. I want eight Of them
oh, any eight will do. want them
for small niece OF mine-a little girl
about six years old"
Without indicating the least sur
prise, the salesman wrapped up the
cravats.
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19

Letters received by Mr.. Sidney Pay
son in acknowledgment of his Christ
mas presents:
Dear Brother: Pardon me for not
having acknowledged the receipt Of
your Christmas present. ne fact is
that since the skates came have been
devoting so much of my time to the
re-acquiring of one of my early accom-
plishments that l have not had much
time for writing. | wish | could ex-
press to you the delight felt when
opened the box and saw that you had
sent me a pair OF skates. 1t was just
as II you had said to me: viii, my
boy. some people may think you are
getting on in years, but / know that
you're not suddenly remembered
that the presents which / have been
receiving for several Christmases were
intended for an old man. / have re-
ceived easy-chairs, slippers, muillers,
smoking Jackets. and the like. When |
received the pair Of skates from you !
felt that twenty years had been lifted
from my shoulders. How in the world
did you ever happen to think of them?
Did you really believe that my skating
days were not over? Well, they're not
went to the pond in the park on
Christmas day and worked at 1t for
two hours and had lot OF fun. My
ankles were rather weak and ! fell
down twice. but without hurting my.
self, managed to go through the mo.
tons. and before l left skated with
peach of a pretty girl. Well, Sid. |
owe this renewal of my youth to you.
Thank you many times, and believe
me to be. as ever, your affectionate
brother. WILLIAM"
The Lehi banner. [volume] (Lehi, Utah) 1891-1917, 1914-12-19

Weeks ak-Up-A-Coid Tablets
A guaranteed remedy .or Colds and
La Grippe. Price 25c OF your druggist.
It's good. Take nothing else ADV.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1914-12-31
Soldiers Wills.

In olden times everybody who was
in the happy position of having per
sonalty to bequeath was free to make
= will verbally or by an lnattested
writing. This right, restricted by the
Statute OF Frauds, was abolished by
the wills act Of 1887, subject, how.
ever, to the reservation that soldiers
on actual military service. and ma
vines, on sea. we're still competent to
dispose OF their personally as they
might have done before. Hence all
the soldiers and sailors on duty
have, so far as the disposition OF
their worldly goods is concerned II
larger freedom than that possessed
by the kings subjects who are stay
ing at home. AS rule too, wills
are valid only II the persons making
them have reached the age Of twenty
opr. There is judicial authority for
saying that even this restriction does
not apply TO soldiers and sailors on
active service-Tit-Bits.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1914-12-31
Household Economy
R~m~%y mud sat~ 81 by
Making % al Home

Cough medicines, NJ n rule contain n
large quantity Of plain syrup. A pint Of
granulated sugar with = pins of warn,
water. stirred -ior 2 minutes. gives Won
as good syrup ~ money csn buy.
Then get from your druggist 21k ounces
PIncN go cents wOrthl pour into "A pint
bottle and fill the bottle with sugar
syrup. lhs gives YOU, at cost of Onl,
81 cents, II full pint of really better cough
syrup than you could buy ready made for
S2jO-a clear saving of nearly So. Full
directions with PineX. 1t keeps perfectly
and tastes good. ,
II takes hold of the usual cough on
chest cold at once and conquers il in "a
hours. Splendid for whooping cough,
bronchitis and winter coughs.
It's truly astonishing how quickly il
lOOsens the dry. hoarsc or tight cough
and heals and soothrs the inhamcd mem
II also stops the formation of phlegm in
the throat and bronchial tubes, thus end
ing the persistent loose cough.
Pincx is highly concentrated com
pound Of genuine Norway pine extract.
combined with giaiacOl. and has been
used for generations 10 heal inflamcd
membranes Of the throat and chest
To avoid disappointment. ask your
druggist Tor "2l2 ruurrs ni Pincx," and
don't accept 1i'th'ug rk'. A guarantee
OF absolute entisiH"tiuu, ~ money prompt
" refunded. "ur- with this preparation.
The Pine ~ Wavr" I"d
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1914-12-31
Miss McDolqal Marries,

4 Christmas wedding which is if
statewide interest is that of Miss
Jean Myrtle McDougal, daughter of
Mrs. d. A. McDougal who was
a former state president of the Ok
lahoma Federation of Womens clubs,
and Mr.. Hugh James MacKay OF
Columbia. Mo. The announcement of
the engagement and marriage was
made by two OF Sapulpa's prominent
society women at beautiful musi-
Gale.
The wedding was announced for
Christmas day at 3 o'clock, and from
s to 10 Mr.. and Mrs. McDougal gave
a reception TO four hundred guests,
after which the bridal couple left
Sapulpa for Excelsior Springs, for
a short honeymoon trip before going
to Columbia ia-Muskoge Times-Dem-
ocrat.
Miss McDougal has been frequent
Ardmore visitor. and has many
friends here
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1914-12-31
PARKER TO BE SWORN
IN AT WASHINGTON

Muskogee, Okla, Dec. 30.-Gabe
f. Parker, newly appointed super
intendent of the Five Civilized Tribes
will assume the duties of his office
in Washington on January l and ar
rive in Muskogee TO take charge
Monday, January /. Mr.. Parker will
be sworn in at the capital, accord
ing to Information received at the
Indian agency Wednesday afternoon.
Already the heads of the various
departments are ordering new rub
Der stamps with Parker's name. 1t
is given out that there will be no
Gabriel 10 blow any trumpets but
that the new superntendents Of
fetal signature will be "Gabe +, Par
ker."
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1914-12-31
OUCH! LUMBACO?
Try Musterole. See How Quickly
II Relieves

You just rub MUSTEROLE in briskly,
and usually the pain is gone-a delicious,
soothing comfort comes to take its place.
MUSTEROLE is a clean, white oint-
ment, made with oil of mustard. Use it
instead of mustard plaster. VIII not
blister.
Doctors and nurses use MUSTEROLE
and recommend it to their patients.
They will gladly tell you what relief it
gives from Sore Throat, Bronchitis
Group, Stiff Neck, Asthma, Neuralgia
Congestion, Plcurisy, Rheumatism, Lum-
bag0, Pains and Aches of the Back or
Joints. Sprains, Sore Muscles, Bruises,
Chilblains, Frosted Feet, Colds Of tie
Chest (it often prevents Pneumonia).
At your druggists, in 25c and Soc jars,
and a special large hospital size for 81 50
Be sure you get the genuine MUS
TEROLE. Refuse imitations-get what
you ask for. The Musterole Company,
Cleveland, Ohio.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1914-12-31
Eaas BY the Mile.

Can eHg-farming be made to pay"
is an everyday query emanating from
persons who possess few hundred
pounds 10 invest and think they Will
Ike such a pursuit. Without fully
going into tho pound, shilling, pence
or our mammoth egg imports, staus-
tics show that the number OF eggs
consumed In England in a week to-
tails over 5G,OO0.O0O An average
mems egg weighs about two ounces
or three ounces and varies in length
from two inches to three inches. IL
hen. these 1jO000,000 eggs wer,
olaced In row, e. end to end.
they would cover 5000 miles-furtheI
than from London to New York. This
vast total OF eggs is supplied by hens
on hundreds and thousands OF farms
while the contribution from hens kept
in back gardens Is by no means q
small oA.--Answers.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1914-12-31
Singing In the Country.

Far down in the country where
grand opera methods have not been
applied to church singing a blessed
old minister arose and announced the
number of the hymn he desired the
congregation TO sing He followed
,he old custom OF lining out the
hymn; that Is. he would read line
IN a loud voice and then the congre-
saticn would sing it, The first was as
follows: We praise thee. o God, for
thy power ten thousand strong The
congregation tried the line and was on
such a high KEY that when ten thous-
and" was reached everybody was up
IN a screech IN afraid that's too
high. said the benevolent old man
'tco high on the ten thousand
:rons.'" His difficulty was solved by
n old fellow who stood up far back in
he church and exclaimed IL a nasal
-oice: IAN right, :hen; bring II down
o l.Oo0. 0."-Philadelphia Public Ledger.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1914-12-31

STATE OF OKLAHOMA, County of Johnston.
In the matter Of the conveyance OF inherited
lands of Suckey Tom.
Notice is hereby given that Simon Tom has
filed in this Court his petition for the sale Of the
following lands, to-wii:
The NE4 OF SEA of SW4, and NE4 of SEA, and
NE4 of NW4 of SEA and 81 Of EW4 of SEA. and
NJ of 50 of SEA and SW4 Of SW4 of SEA. and
NEl of SW4 and SW4 of SW4. and W. of SEA Of
SW4 and NW4 of NW4 of SEA CT Section "a, and
SW4 OF NW4 of SW4, and VIZ of SW4 of SW4 of
Section IS. Township South, Range West.
situated in Carter County, Oklahoma.
That the same has been set for hearing and
approval of deed 20 same on the 5th day OF Jan
uary 1915 at the County Court room. in Tisho-
mingo. Oklahoma. at 10 o'clock a. m. At which
time and place all parties interested in said
estate may appear and make any protest to said
confirmation they deem proper.
CHAS. S. FENWICK, County Judge.
Stobaugh. Ratliff & Looney,
Attorneys for Petitioner
First pu blished Dec. %, 1919 29-7t
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1914-12-31
NOTICE RY PUBLICATION.

State of Oklahoma. Carter County. In the
District Court.
Matte Hammett Plaintiff, VS.. James A. Ham
nett Defendant No. 1869.
Said defendant, James a. ammett will take
notice that he has been sued in the above named
court for Divorce and restoration of maiden
name, and must answer the petition filed there
in by said plaintiff on or before the end day
of January. a. D., 1915. or said petition will be
taken as true and judgment for said plaintiff
in said action for divorce and restoration OF
maiden name will be rendered accordingly.
Dated this nth day of December, 1914.
J. W. HARRELD,
Attest: Attorney for Plaintiff
S. +. HAYN1E,
lSeaD District Clerk
BY S. NJ. Parker, Deputy.
II-l7-24-3l
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1914-12-31
Is Found Dead in Bed.

Lawton, Okla, Dec. 3O.-Young
Short pioneer citizen and business
his bed here Tuesday night at eight
o'clock by his son. Heart failure is
assigned as the cause OF death
Neighbors had visited a half houl
before he was found lifeless. Five
children survive Short. Funeral ser,
vices will be held Thursday morn
ing.