davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer., 1914-07-01
A PSYCHOLOGICAL" PANIC

while | am aware of the danros-
sion of business, there is abundant ev-
idence that it is merely psychological,
There is no material condition or sub
stantial reason why the business of
the coutry should not be in the most
prosperous and expanding condition"
Woodrow Wilson.
Don't worry, good people, because of
the fact
That business is weak in the knees.
For Woodrow explains with remark
able tact
Such hard-up conditions as these.
This isn't a panic we're going hrough
now,
And the men out of work eyerv-
where
Are just the unfortunate victims. I'll
vow,
OF a bad 'psycological' scare.
It's pure "psycological' all the way
through,
Which means that it doesn't exist,
Except in the minds of such people
as you,
With a strange intellectual twist,
Psychological" hunger is all that you
feel,
And you are a pitiful dupe
To harbor such thoughts as you go
to your meal
OF. thin physiological" soup.
You've made up your mind that you're
out of a job,
And that everything's gone to the
bad,
Hence you try to arouse in the minds
of the mob
A spirit revengeful and sad.
But it's all a mistake, as I'm telling
you here,
And business amt struck any
snags;
It's your mental machinery that
makes you appear
Clothed in physiological" rags.
James Larkin Pearson
The fool-killer., 1914-07-01
DANGEROUS TALK.

. 1t seems that 'Fesser Wilson has
totally abolished his newspaper
cabinet" You know it has been
his custom to hold bi-weekly ses-
sions with the newspaper CORES.
pondents, but they began to get
him IN deep water and he had to
tuck tail and run.
At the last session of the news
paper Cabinet, when the matter
Of a salute by Huerta was the
question Of the hour, one reporter
got of, this one:
"Mr. President, if Huerta fires
eWenty-one guns to salute us, we
are to fire twenty-one guns in re
turn, are we not?'
Eyes, replied the 'Fessor,
without the least idea Of what
was coming next.
"Mr. President, whom, then
shall we be saluting?'
The 'Fesser scratched his head
thoughtfully for a moment, and
then said:
"You can ask that question,
but [ don't know anybody on
earth that can answer it,
Nobody printed that %conversa-
ton, although it was worth more
than anything else that got into
print that day. The correspon-
dent that put the poser wired it to
his newspaper In five minutes
the managing editor had him on
the long distance telephone and
said:
"Cut that all out. It's dan
gerous."
Dangerous to whom? or what /?
Does anybody know?
The fool-killer., 1914-07-01

That old guy they call Shakes
peare is reported to have said:
1.-THE quality Of mercy is not
strained" It was too bad they
packed off the old druggy mer-
cy on Bill. I'd make 'em strain
it next time.
The fool-killer., 1914-07-01
ADVERTISEMENTS

KEEP your screen door from warping.
Will stop baby from failing out. Buy
an automatic door carch and be glad.
25c agents wanted. Cedar. 544 E. 147
st N. Y.
The fool-killer., 1914-07-01

The politician will soon begin
to crate about the great virtues
of the crank and file" Of his par
ty. But crank and vile" would
be more correct.
The fool-killer., 1914-07-01

This trust busting is great bus
mess and no mistake. We busted
the Oil Trust, and in three years
it was exactly twice as valuable as
it was before we busted it. We
busted the tobacco Trust with the
same result. And several others.
Our "busting' seems to have the
same effect on a trust as a good
working has on a patch Of corn
it just makes it grow faster.
The fool-killer., 1914-07-01
Club Rates!
In Clubs Of Five, 15c a Year.

The price of single subscriptions to The Fool-Killer il Is cents a year,
but if you will get several Of your friends to go in with you and send lin q
club of five Or or 1t one time, o car all get the paper at Is cents a
duced, and it low goes into every State in the Union. Join the army Of
club-raisers. Do it now. Address:
THE FOOL-KILLER, MORAVIAN FALLS, n. C..
The fool-killer., 1914-07-01
THE SOCIAL CHRISTIAN. Has

THE SOCIAL CHRISTIAN. Has
your religion shrunk up and pined
away until you can only see some
narrow creed? You need it enlarged
to take in all the humanity as broth
ers. The Social Christian is the one
magazine published for this exclusive
purpose. Sixteen hot and scintilat-
ing pages and you can get it a whole
year for Is cents. Address,:
SOCIAL CHRISTIAN,
G. 538 S.. Dearborn, Chicago Ill.
The fool-killer., 1914-07-01

THE EYE OPENER. The livest and
hottest on the Pike. A monthly Jour-
nal of Mental Dynamite. 1t opens
the Eyes Of the Blind, Cures the Idi-
OTIS, and Kills the Liars. Send ten
cents, coin, and actresses of twenty
friends and we will send it a whole
year. Address,:
FRANKLIN ALLEN e. CO.,
G.. Morton Bldg, Chicago, Ill.
The fool-killer., 1914-07-01

BOYS AND GIRLS-Earn cash.
Sell ten packages of my goods at 10c
each. Very easy to sell in n hour.
Write quick. Kicherer, 544 E. LAT st.
N. Y.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
ANSWER WAS TO THE POINT
Old Lady Of 80 old Not Mlnee Words
In Reply TO Question PropouHded
by Her Pastor.

The pastor of well-known Boston
church was calling . short while ago
on dear old lady, one OF the pillars
of the church to which they both be-
longed. Looking upon her sweet.
motherly face, which bore few tokens
of her ninety-three years of earthly pill
grimage, he was moved to ask her;
my dear Mrs. Adams, what has been
the chief source of your wonderful
strength and sustenance during all
these years? What do you consider
has been the real basis OF your extra
ordinary vigor of mind and body. and
has been to you an unfailing comfort
through Joys and sorrows which must
come to all of Gods creatures7 Tell
me, that may pass the secret to 9TH
ers. and. II possible, profit by It my
self"
The good pastor waited with un-
usual eagerness for the old lady's re-
ply, which she gave. after q moments
reflection, while her kindly old eyes
were dimmed with tears.
"victuals," she answered briefly
Harper's.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

Jour medicine had done for her and /
tried IT. ftmade me strong and healthy
and our home l. now happy with baby
boy. ] am very glad that took Lydia
Z. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and
do all can to recommend It Mrs A
B. BoscAAP, 50z e. Howard Street.
Creston. Iowa
Tons of Roots and Herbs
are used annually In tho manufacture
Of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, which IL known from ocean to
ocean - the standard remedy for
female Ills.
For forty years this famous root and
herb medicine has been prominently
successful IN controlling the diseases Of
women. Merit alone could have stood
this test Of time.
II you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia II. Pinkham's vegeta-
BILE Compoundwiil help you, write
90 LydiaE.Pfnkham MedicineCo.
(confidentiaD Lynn, Mass., for adj
vice. Your letter VIII be opened.
read and answered by q woman,
and held I'm strict confidence.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
ONE WAY TO HARNESS HORSE
Two Superior Town Youths Recuper>
at:ne In Country Experienced Diff
ficuIty In Placing BIZ.

IF you fellows care to go for a
spin In the dogcart do SO with pleas
ure,' said the farmer to the two SUI
perior town youths who were recuper-
ating in the country.
Not bad sport, that said one to
the other when the farmer had set on
for his turnip fields
Easy thing to harness a horse,
isn't it7"
''Oh. quite simple. dear boy"
Nevertheless. both seemed little
doubtful on reaching the stable as
TO whether the animals head or tail
was the correct point at which to
start
Argument decided that the latter
end of the wretched animal was the
starting point, and after much snort
ing and stamping, they reached the
head, where their chief difficulty lay
In adjusting the bit
There's only one thing to do
wait" said one despairingly.
Wait? For what?'
Why. wait for the wretched beast
to yawn.'-Pittsburgh Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
Tan an Evidence OF Health.

The tanned face Ii an indication Of
health. II one has failed To acquire
this brown after having spent bis va
cation In the open air. exposed 10 the
sun and wind, then there is some
thing wrong with the health. The
dark fermentation in the skin is tho
result OF the sun burning the hemo-
gIobin, or red blood stun. out OF the
tissue units and depositing them In
the upper layers OF the skin. The
depth OF brown that may be acquired
is the measure OF ones vitality, and
a failure TO acquire good color In
proof that one should look TO his
health. During the present summer
vacation season, just keep this in
mind, and note what the index tells
regarding your physical condition.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

II is curious TO see how fashionable
boxing is becoming In Europe. In this
country 1t IL still under q cloud. and
the narrow gulf between boxing and
prizehghting does not avail. Just
what the difference 10 nobody has
been able 10 make very clear. but Il
is at least useful distinction that
boxing il In fashion and prixefighting
is not. France has become infatuated
with lie boxe." while Ia England n
correspondent OF ths Times rejoices
that boxing Is once more a national
game in the land Of its or1gin:' and
discusses weightily whether women
should attone karing lnatehsz-
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
BIG stone Bounded on frishrsn. but
Killed polander. Who Couldn't
stand Much"

Representative Michael +. Conry Of
New York used 70 be employed In tho
coal mines OF Pennsylvania One
morning as he was going to work he
met another Irishman all nxed up IN
his Sunday clothes.
What's vrong7" asked conry
"Noihln' wrong" answered the other
laborer
But what's happencd7''
'Nothins happened. A mans got TO
show some respect for tho dead
What deadf''
~oh. that PoIandar worked with
died yesterday
What did he die Off"
"A rock fell and hit him.
You don't say How big rock vas
ir'
"oh. three or four tons. maybe.
Them poianders cant stand much.
purity near got hurt myself yester-
day"
How was fhat7"
Tho rock that killed the Polander
hit me first but luckily II bounced on =
st Joseph News-Press.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

The Atlanta Constitution vigorously
calls attention to this situation. point
ing out that the diseases which cause
such death rate among the negroes
must, In the close contact OF urban
life, be menace to the whites, and
that. therefore. the whites have sell
fish interest In improving the stand
ards OF negro Springfield Repub-
lican.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

A thousand persons gathered In
Epiphany church In g street at Wash
ington to bid farewell to James. For
forty-one years James. the coiored sex.
ton, had rung the chapel bell that
called the Pensioners and greeted
their arrival with happy face lie
was accorded honors at his funeral
service that no person ever buried
from that church has received. The
aged negro was given the distinction
OF having a funeral address preached
for him, as sermons on burial occa-
sions are never given In the Eposco-
pal service. Five hundred oolored peo-
pie attended the service and were
ushered into their places by the usual
church attendants.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28


This was the theme that thrilled
through the address of Booker T.
Washington when he spoke at Chicago
before the convention OF the Interna.
tional Sunday School association In
Medinah temple.
Mr.. Washington proved to be one
AZ the most popular speakers that
have addressed the convention and his
appeal TO the Sunday school leaders to
help the negro and to give him a
chance brought repeated applause
from the delegates and visitors who
filed the big hall TO OVERLOOKING.
What the black man needs Is the
old time religion" said the speaker.
That's the theology | want to take TO
my people. The negro is better on
close TO the soil and In the South, and
want to keep him there. II you will
bring the Sunday school to him. Take
the old theology to him. the theology
that says. THOU shalt not steal, Thou
shalt not KILL Thou shalt not bear
false Witness Thou shalt not commit
adultery
Il want no mans sympathy because
am a negro" he said. Il thank God
every day that I belong to this race.
l wouldn't change places with the
whitsst man In America We have
problems to solve. such problems as
the white man has not. and my people
need some one 10 lead and help them.
But remember. Il Ia not always unfor-
tunate for race 10 have problems to
confront; such problems turn races In
TO Kingdoms and nations"
The resolutions committee reported
to the convention and resolutions ia
voring a. federal law for the resula.
ton OF marriage and divorce. single
standard Of purity for both sexes, rigid
laws against commercialized vice. lot.
teries and gambling. consoring OF NOV
Ing pictures, the adjustment OF child
labor under the age OF sixteen, the
destruction OF the liquor traffic. the
advancement OF international peace
and the observance OF the sabbath
were passed
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

The National League on Urban Con-
ditions Among Negroes has for its pur-
pose 20 protect colored women from
moral and financial exploitation, to
provide Fairgrounds and recreation
centers. to organize boys and girls
clubs and neighborhood unions Of
adults. TO secure and train negro 10
ciai workers. to develop cooperation
among welfare agencies. TO provide
employment facilities TO fit workers
for their occupation. to provide pro-
baton care for juvenile and adult de-
linquents, to render neighborhoods
free from vice where respectable peo-
pie may have homes. and to investi-
gate city conditions among negroes.
Its headquarters are In New York.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

In the days of old Rome woman's
character was known by her dress.
The toga was worn by the men. but
the stola was the raiment for the won,-
en-. II was loose garment worn over
the tunic. and was usually caught at
the waist by a girdle. Divorced wom-
en- and courtesans were not allowed
"a wear It.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
A sertous-minded Englishman rea

A serfous-minded Englishman read
a paper before the Royal Statistical
society the other day. In which he
recommended that card index regis
tering the details Of the lives Of every
person should be kept at some central
government Office. Every person would
have his number, according to this
scheme, which already has given con-
siderable amusement to Punch and the
humorists generally.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
AFRO-AMER|CAN CULL|NCS

The recent visit of DR.. Booker T.
Washington to this city and the splen-
did address which he delivered
brought to mind an incident Of few
weeks ago. relates the Chicago News.
A young negro OF what might be called
the diletante class, was heard saying
to newly arrived stranger:
Don't tell any one In Chicago that
you are from Tuskegee institute"
To this advice the stranger without
hesitation replied to the effect that he
was proud to be Identified with an In
stitution that meant SO much construc-
lively In the life Of his race. and that
any one who was conversant with the
needs of the people served BY the
school could not be disloyal to It.
The former young man did not nee
essarily mean harm, but unfortunate
ly he misrepresented the spirit OF this
great city. Chicago, sharing the Amer
lean ideal. is In harmony with move
ments everywhere which makes for
human uplift. and her representative
citizens are as eager TO encourage In
Alabama as well az IN Illinois any
organization representing an invest
rnent In useful. nondependent citizen
ship.
The Tuskegee institute il not only
an efficient school for training the
negro In manual arts and In agricuE
ture. II is primarily school for hui
man culture. indeed for race culture
considering the important part IT has
played and Is destined to play In the
education of the negro race.
II took the world long time to ac-
knowledge the truth that physical con-
troll and the workman's skill In the
manipulation Of his tools and the
practise OF his art are as essential
contributions to human welfare and
to appreciate fine are from an academ-
ic point OF view or to translate class
ical writings or decipher fascinating
problems In mathematics. Those who
from aparthy, Incidence or prejudice
have not kept abreast with the trend
glorious humanitarian movements OF
this day are the ones who date upon
what living age has buried IN books
They offer no helping hand In the so
luton OF vital problems.
The Tuskegee institute is an active
agency not only In education but In go
ciai amelioration. Truly there can be
no complete appreciation OF the work
that Doctor Washington is doing for
this country II the appalling need for
this work II overlooked. AS this need
is realized SO win the friends OF the
work increase, together with the en-.
couragement and inspiration of his
benevolent supporters.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
Persuasive.

You've heard the old saying that
Satan finds work for idle hands to do"
"Oh. yes. And not only that, but he
often induces busy hands to make a
radical change in the kind OF work
they do
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

Womanhood until /
had taken Lydia E
Pinkham's VeReta-
bic Com pcun d I
would have pains II
/ ork ed or
lifted anything
heavy, and / would
be 30 weak and ner-
vous and In 30 much
misery that / would
be prostTated- A
friend told me what
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
Contradictory.

People have qresr ways OF express
ing opinions"
For instance?"
"They talk Of name having loose
ways when he gets tight
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

Russia Is making great efforts to de-
yeiop unproduetive parts OF the eau.
causus BY preventing river foods and
increasing irrigation drainage and ca.
nal construction.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
me ostrIeh.

why are you putting like steam
engine and raising that cloud of
smoker
"Sh-h-h! There's a man over there
owe money and don't want him to
see me."--Judge.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

Bacon-I see at the Minnesota
School Of Agriculture a course Of sew
ing for men is to be included In the
curriculum
Egbert Doesn't this look IKE o
blow at the nall Industry
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

Husband can't understand why
they haven't sent some one to meet
us, unless your letter went astray.
Wife-My letter. Why, Frank. /
distinctly understood that you had
written.-Judge.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
All Watched.

II understand the new arrival. Mrs.
Blowster, expects to do great deal OF
entertaining"
THE neighbors we're entertained
when she moved In"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

They say nature makes no mis-
takes, but doubt IT,"
What makes you doubt 1T"
Why did she put lid on the eye
and forget to put one on the chestT
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

Country negroes OF the better type
are good workers and thrifty man
ayers, pretty sure to become ultimately
land owners and self-employers. Ne
gro ownership OF land In the South In
creased 100 per cent In the first decade
OF the twentieth century. But In this
advancement OF the best OF the race
from tenani-y and wage working 10
larger or smaller agricultural proprie-
iorsEip The author sees a bad influence
upon those less fortunate or deserving,
an agency making for The deteriora-
ton In character and efficiency In the
labor left available for the white name
plantation; her observation and inter.
est seem TO be rural and agricultural
more than urban and industrial. And
the unreliabilify OF this labor il In
turn responsible for devices verging
upon peonism. holding the iaborer To
the land with chains OF debt:
For many years the South sqnan.
dered the fertility OF her fields. We
are learning OF late years. slowly and
painfully. to build UP the impoverished
soil, and restore II 20 It's former rich
ness. But we have overlooked the
sqaandered fertility of labor. Until
We build up the worker the material
on which his work is spent will never
yield its normal return. The houses
Of very many farm laborers are more
than enough to sap their vitality. TO
destroy ambition and self-respect and
to foster immortality and disease. Con-
ditions like these filch from the com
munity its capital OF human product
iveness."-Mrs. l.. Fl. Hammond, In
her book In Black and White"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
Showed Hin.

II told Uncle Simon that he was
getting too old and feeble to attend
to business"
did he take it kindly?"
HE threw me out OF the Office"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
What II Goes For,

ITO most people nickel means one
of three things"
"Well?"
"A glass of beer. trolley ride or
a moving-picture show
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

That baby is going TO take after
his father"
mo. he isn't. His father never leaves
anything after him for anybody to
take
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
In the Conservatory.

Miss Oldgirl--I assure you, when
heard the story. was rooted to the
spot
Miss Peril see A regular century
plant.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
The Reason.

Never try to steal kiss from fat
girl"
why not fat girl7"
Because she is likely to put up =
stout resistance"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
A Good Reason.

Call UP on the long distance
phone"
II can't"
why notf"
I'm too short"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

And what do you do for a living,
Alexis?"
II write"
.'What?'
Letters to my father
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
An Exception.

Full of trouble as the world may
be, there Is no man living whom no
body loves"
Il don't know about that! How
about the baseball umpire7"
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
Housewife Instinct.

Woman Election There
are three spoiled ballots.
Ditto-Oh. dear; but then, suppose
we can make them over into some
thing else.-Puck.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

willie--Paw. are man and his wife
one?
Paw-Yes, my son.
Willie Then how many was Solo
gnony
Paw--You go to bed. young man.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

The Panama canal Is lighted along
it's entire length by electricity. for
lighthouses. buoys, etc.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

At an expenditure exceeding s10,-
000,00 London will build dock am
pie enough to accommodate any mer.
chant steamer afoat or which will be
likely to enter the Thames for many
years to come.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

The president of Uruguay is report
ed TO be considering the advisablllty
OF creating national printing estab-
iishment TO undertake all the printing
work OF the various government do
partments
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

Argentine telegraph companies arp
bringing into general use a system
whereby messages are received auto
matioally with printed type.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28
DRAWING.

Gabe-W What does your friend do for
a living?
Steye-He draws from real life.
Gabe-Oh, he's an artist!
Steve-No; he's a dentist.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

Electric vehicles are now being used
in the streets.of London for sprinkling
and sweeping
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-28

BSstander Ito painter who has
fallen from his scafold, upsetting his
paint Rather bad fall. Ell?
Painter-Yes. but came down with
flying colov.