davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14
Humorous department.

38~ The most dramatic day Of the
sixty-third congress was when Champ
Clark, the speaker Of the house, took
the floor for his famous speech eX-
planning why he opposed President
Wilson's policy of repeating the Pan
anna canal tolls exemption law. Clark
was on the losing side and everybody
knew that the vote would certainly
uphold the president.
While the speaker was delivering
his remarks in his vibrant booming
voice. Representative Tom Helm OF
Alabama, walked through the Demo-
cratic cloak room. Even there the
thunder of Clark's voice was audible.
Hefiin, stopped, laughed and said:
THAT reminds me of an old color
ed man down in my state. He was
working in the middle of field on
hot summer day. 1t was so hot that
the heat seemed to be simmering WIS.,
IDLY wherever you looked. After a
while the midday train rushed by
about a half a mile away. whistling
for a crossing and roaring and thun-
dering as it went.
"Old Tom watched it go by, took
hold of his hoe, and stopped over his
work once more. Then he said, talk
ing TO himself:
"'Boom! Bing! Bum! Hum! But
rs gwine to ride you mex Sadday
night,"-Popular Magazine.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14

ing. He goes two or three times week
to the palace, remaining from morning
till night, and is sent for by telegram
whenever the court moves from one
place to another. In every direction
his influence is felt The dowager EN-
press, however Is an avowed anti
Rasputinite, and since the monks
sway set in she has rarely seen her son
the czar, or her daughter-in-law ex-
cept at public ceremonies.
The crowning miracle of Rasputin is
this: He has moved the empress, who
for nearly twenty years that she has
shared the Russian throne has cared
for nothing outside of her domestic af-
fairs and who has not shown the
slightest intellectual curiosity about
anything, into an ardor of political in
terest sympathetic to that in which the
cZar is acting and working, neither
through his ministers nor the people
but through a Siberian peasant who
can scarcely write his own name-ar
avowed mystery man who represents
absolutism incarnate. Neither the i'm
perial bureaucracy nor the elected leg
islature has been able as yet to bring
Nicholas H., into definite light as a
reigning sovereign. And now, under
the will Of human enigma, behold
this same sovereign autocrat emerging
and asserting the authority that be-
wilders alike the defenders and the
enemies Of his throne!
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14
Misrellaaeuus Rsadiua.
COMPLAINTS OF WAR NEWS
Newspapers are Getting All the lnfor-
nation Available.

Our German friends who complain
that the war news in the American
newspapers is colored find fault with
conditions for which there is no rem
edy.
The German newspapers here have to
print the same news that the Ameri-
can newspapers print. There is no 9TH
er news. All of US have to rely upon
the news sources that are open. Every
great American newspaper is bending
all it's energies to obtain the facts re-
gardless of nationalities, and that is
the best that anybody can do. Our
friend, the Staats-Zeitung, for exam
pie, which processes to deplore the
news printed in the other New York
papers, has to depend upon the very
Associated Press reports that 1t re-
CARDS as so untrustworthy when pub
lished in English.
Most of the news necessarily comes
from British and French sources. They
furnish the only channels of news
communication that are left open, but
even in France and England the strict
est kind Of a censorship is maintained.
No European government is letting
any news out except the news that 1t
wants to let out. Nobody can know at
this distance how much is suppressed
and how much is deliberately colored
by governmental decree.
Complete and impartial news reports
are impossible where the censorship
intervenes and the correspondents are
subjected to military law. Military law
and a free press have nothing in COM
mon.
In the circumstances and knowing
the difficulties which all of them have
encountered, we think the New York
newspapers, with one or two conSpicu-
Gus and incorrigible exceptions, have
shown great sense and sanity in ham
ding the news. They print rumors as
rumors They print unofficial reports
as unofficial reports. They print un-
confirmed statements as unconfirmed
statements. What more can be done?
If our excellent German friends are
prepared to tell the World how to get
authentic war news out of Germany
and how to get the German view of the
military events that are now taking
place, there is no price within reason
that we are not prepared to pay. When
the chancellor Of the German embassy
in Washington says he has been baf-
fled in every attempt to communicate
with Berlin how can it be expected
that New York newspapers will obtain
war news from Berlin?
The astonishing thing is that In
spite of the almost insurmountable OBJ
stacles that belligerent governments
have placed in the way of the press,
the American newspapers have been
able to do so well.-New York World.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14
WAS A MANS JOB.
Why the Colorado Dam is One OF the
WorId's Wonders,

Word came to Tucson in the still or
the winter of 1907, that the Colorado
river was keeping an old threat and
was sweeping into the dry Salton Sink
of Lower California at the rate Of A.
900 cubic feet to the second. Already
there was n lake fifty miles in length.
Il miles wide, 10 feet deep in the GEN.
ter.
Washington was alarmed. 1t looked
as if the entire Imperial valley-a Hol-
land in America, below the level Of the
sea and one of the richest farming
spots in all the west-was to be inun-
dated Theodore Roosevelt buried his
pride and asked +. II. Hartman for
help. Hartman did not have to bury
any pride when he turned to Randolph
and ordered him to do the job. RAN
dolph was having one of his bad
turns" at that time. But he is enough
of soldier to obey orders. And he
went to the Salton Sink fiat on his
back in his private car.
From that bed Epes Randolph build
ed one of the worlds great dams. In
this day, when there are many huge
impoundings, that may seem broad
statement Men may think OF the
dam across the Nile or the MISSISSIPPI
pi the mighty structures of Panama
and of the New York City waterworks,
but not one of these was builded under
pressure. Epes Randolph's dam was
built under stop watch and in II
days and u hours. In II days and 81
hours he had placed 250,OOO cubic feet
of rock and gravel in the gap. all at
Il cost of something like $l,6OO.OOO. But
the Colorado had been stopped, and,
like a naughty child, forced back into
its own bed.
Once during the work Roosevelt by
wire had asked Hartman how the job
was getting on. The railrOader replied
that if the dam was not completed
within five more days it never would
he, and GOO,O 900 acres of fine, new farms
would be forever lost. And when the
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14

On the Trail of TroubIe.-"John, If l
decided that l wished to divorce you'
would you fight the case?'
What has put such a silly idea as
that in your head?"
"I just wanted to know whether
YOU would try to keep me tied TO you.
Supposing 1 accused you Of having
been cruel to me. would you go into
court and deny my accusation?"
81 can't understand why you would
ever want people to think I had been
cruel to you. I have always tried to
be as kind as possible"
81 know; but would you fight back
if 1 tried to get rid of you in that
way?"
Certainly not. If I thought you
would be happier free 1 should not
enter any defense, no matter what
charge you preferred against me-
THERE" she said. giving way TO
tears, you have shown that you do
not care for me. If you did you would
never be willing to let me go, no mat
ter what happened. l never can be-
lieve in a man again. Re-
cord Herald.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14
FRIDAY, AUGUST "a, 1914.
i. FOR SALE

1856 Aeres-The Wells Place. the
property Of r. N. Plaxco. very fine
farm. High state Of cultivation.
I have had many inquiries about the
County Home lands-First Tract: 80
acres, on Rock Hill road; also 1877 acres
ioin J. L. Moss. I must sell this land
At Once. If You want il, see Me at
once-It is good money maker.
County Home Farm.s0 Acres. join
ing T. L. Carroll, $500 Acre.
140 Acres-Joining r. K. Love, J. l..
Moss and others. Magnificent bottom
land in this tract See me.
Cottage Home-Of w. G. Miller, on
Charlotte road, near Ancona Mill.
800 OAcres-Property Of D. A. Whis-
Price $1,000
20 Aeres-Property Of John Barnett.
joining farm Of ]. r. Connolly and VIM.
Harrison Est. lands.
100 Acres-Known as the Dorster
place, about / 1-2 miles from Phila-
delphia church and school. II sold
during February, will take the small
sum Of $4,000 an acre for 1t.
400 Acres-Near Lowryville, S25.OO
per acre.
I desire to say to my friends that
have property that I can cut up In
small tracts and sell on long terms.
The Quinn estate land-On Kings
Mt road, adjoining Frank Riddles
Neil place and others, am willing to
cut this into smaller farms to suit the
purchaser.
The residence Of the late DR.. ]. B.
Allison, joining the new Presbyterian
Manse. Can be cut into two beautiful
building lots.
The property Of DR.. Mack White on
Kings Mountain Street, also Q dwell
lings, property Of Quinn Wallace, ct al,
on Kinrs Mountain Street. This prop
erty will be sold quickly and II you
want 1t, see me.
1 have for sale three Of the Finest
Farms in York county, and they are
very cheap at the price; to wit:
The John Black-Henry Massey
homestead.
600 Acres-The R. M. Anderson
Farm.
40 Acres-Of the s. M. Jones-Ware
Farm, about miles from Rock Hill.
Also Is acres, and a nice cottage.
beautifully located within the incor-
porate limits of Yorkville. Read my
list of Farms and send me some Of
fers.
Two Good Hauses-On Kings
Mountain Street.
!. c. WILBORN
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14

Novel Union.-Many unimpeachaole
spouses had neglected their Sunday
dinner in order to attend church to
hear the banns read of several ap-
preaching weddings.
Rustling and knowing Whispers
and mods and nudgings prevailed
among the feminine portion OF the
assembly when came the momentous
moment of the announcements.
The old pastor fumbled among his
notes, and found to his dismay that
the all-important paper containing
the names of the contracting parties
was missing.
However. he desired to trust to
memory.
Il publish the banns." he started
in a hushed silence. "between-oe-
tween-or-between-
There was a shuffiing in the aisle
as the old verger hurriedly moved TO
the pulpit.
Between the cushion and the seat
sir" he said, in loud whisper.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14
InterIockins Directors.-senator Al

Interlocking Directors.-Senator AL
bert Cummins was talking about a
notorious interlocking director.
This interlocking director" ne
said, declares that if we curb his
activities, the poor will suffer terribly
ask myself, though, is he really
speaking on behalf Of the poor or on
his own behalf?
He reminds me of man who
stopped in terrific Indignation at sight
of a group of boys stoning bird that
was tied to a tree by the leg.
"You scoundrels! You pittiless
scoundrels" cried the man.
And ne took the bird up in his
hand and placed it in his bosom ten
derly.
THE next day at the office he was
heard to remark with chuckle:
"By gosh, you know, broiled robin
on toast isn't half bad
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14
is RUSSlA'S REAL RULER
IlIiterate Siberian Monk Said to be
Power Behind the Throne in Cars

Realm.
family recently in his native town of
Krekovksy, province of Tobolsk, ST.
IBERIA, a woman named Guseva plunged
a dagger into his abdomen. She wish
ed, she said, to put an end to the awful
evil wrought by this man in Russia by
his impostures and intrigues under the
guise Of prophet.
But Rasputin will recover. And when
he does, woe to his enemies. He
blames it all on Heliodorus, abbot Of
ESaritSyn, whom Rasputin, by his in
nuence, drove from the imperial court.
Rasputin will live, ne declares, in spite
of Heliodorus; and he will take ter
rible reckoning.
Since the spring Of this year keenest
watchers of the Russian skies have
taken a second long look at Gregori
Rasputlin. This strange, quiet person
ality, unObtrusive and yet conspicuous,
used to be the target mainly for scan
dal mongerS and for the vast number
of Russians who are diSgusted at the
character of the dominant influence
in the cars household. But recently
people of harder fiber-ambitiouS men
high in the councils of the empire
who are struggling and scheming
against one another. and the ablest
members of the foreign embassies, who
are seeking to trace the motive springs
for the working Of the cars will. find
in Rasputin their most absorbing prob
lem.
The politically ambitious ay him
court by sending their wives to the
receptions arranged by his devoted fol-
lowers. The diplomats must CLEAN
what they can from the outside, for he
does not cultivate the acquaintance oi
foreigners. None of them but would
admit that the half illiterate Siberian
peasant exercises greater sway over
the mind Of the cZar and his sovereign
decisions than did the austere and en-
allied PubedonostZoff, prCcurator of the
Holy Synod over the stern policy of
Alexander III.
Middle sized, middle aged-he is
about IS years old-of spare, wiry
frame, letting his light brown hair and
beard grow freely in peasant fashion,
Gregori Rasputin holds attention at
first sight by his remarkable nose and
eyes. His gait and his dress are those
I
Scripture reader, which is the Russian
social type to which he approXimates.
But his large, strong, well-set nose is
that of a man of commanding will and
authority, and he has the large, blue
gray eyes of the seer who will not be
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14

president of the United States asked
the then president Of the Southern Pa
cific If the work would be done within
five days Hartman replied that he had
Epes Randolph on the job and that
Epes Randolph had not yet know
failure.
Epes Randolph was indeed on the
job. He lay on his bed at the edge of
the muddy flood and gave orders
thousands and thousands Of orders in
a single day. In the first place, the
rock and gravel had to be brought a
long way and it was Epes Randolph
who gave the directions under which
the hundreds Of gravel trains moved
They closed the main line of the South
ern Pacific and all its branches to
travellers; they took the engines of
freight trains up and down the lines
wherever they could find them. They
sent north to San Francisco and east
to Houston and New Orleans for more
engines and for fiat cars by the mile
This flood tide Of gravel traffic mas
ter mind operated with his left hand;
with his right he builded the dam.
Before his car moved back to Tus-
con again he got out of bed and went
out upon the work. out toward the
end of the embankment, steadily ad-
vancing across the path Of the truan'
river, group of men were struggling
with fine new steel car that had be-
come derailed at the end Of the tenn
porary track.
How long have you been trying to
save that carr" asked Randolph.
Twelve minutes" replied the fore
man.
Let it co." came the order from the
chief. Twelve minutes time on this
job is worth more than hundred
cars"
And so the car went down unde!
some thousands of tons Of rock and
gravel that went to hold back the
mighty Colorado from the haven that
it coveted.-Metropolit Magazine.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14

Passing II on.-A Sunday school
teacher, after conducting a lesson on
the story of Jacobs Ladder" con-
cluded by saying, Now, is there any
little girl or boy who would like to
ask a question about the lesson?'
Little Susie looked puzzled for a
moment, and then raised her head.
"A question, Susie?" asked the
teacher.
II would like to know" said Susie
IF the angels have wings, why die
they have to climb the ladder"
The teacher thought for some mo-
ments. and then looked about the
class. asked:
rs there any little boy who would
like to answer Susie's question:
Everybody's Magazine.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14

Not Big Enoush.-A New Yorker
tells of visit he made to Coney Is
land for the purpose of showing a
friend from Arkansas the sights of
that famous resort Now. the man
from the southwest had never seen
the ocean. So, as he stood gazing out
over the surf, the New Yorker main
tanned discreet silence while the in
lander should reflect upon the sight.
Well" said the host, after a suit
able interval, lat last you can say
that you have seen the ocean,"
The Arkansas man gave a sigh of
disappointment. Yes l cam" he re-
Piled but it isn't anything like as
big as l thought it was"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14

tanned the same ingredients, only
some were liquid, some plasters,
some wrappers" and some in salve
form. Now comes "GETS-IT' with
a newly discovered formula-the corn
cure on n new princip pie and simple
plan that never fails. This Is why
"GETS-IT" has grown in three years
to be the biggest selling corn cure the
world has ever known.
There's no more need Of fussing
with corns, no more digging or cut
ting. There's nothing to press down
on the corn, nothing to infiame the
flesh, to pull the corn or cause
pain. Put two drops of "GETS-1T''
on in two seconds. That's all. For
any corn. callus, wart or bunion.
"GETS-IT" Is sold by druggists
everywhere. CSC a bottle. or sent di-
rect by E. Lawrence & Co., Chicago.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14

4 women must consider it dread
full fate to be an old maid" unused
Mr.. Chugwater
They do. Josiah" said Mrs. Chug-
water. What terrible sticks they
sometimes marry to escape it,
And Josiah rubbed his chin and
said nothing.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14
traitor in the BleaSe camp.

traitor in the Blease camp.
He said that he did not propose to
allow these men to pull him on the de-
fensive. His customary announcement
that he was going to vote for Blease
and his prediction that Blease will be
elected on the first ballot drew cheers
of "hurrah for Blease."
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14

x. The very young lady was show
ing her school friend from another
city about her native town. Present
ly the pair came to a little square
adorned with a statue of the local
Civil war hero.
1T isn't very much to boast of art, "
said the sophisticated young chit,
but it's important to know about it
because one usually asks one to meet
one here"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14
obeyed Directions-.Pat," said Il

Obeyed Fat, SAID the
manager of the foundry, severely.
| thought | had discharged yOu?"
YES" said Pat, ''ye did discharge
me on the inside of the note We sent.
But on the outside We said. In five
DAYS return to Camp & CO., >"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14
YORK COUNTY FAIR

A T Rock Hill on October IA, Is, 16
"A 1914. Two Aeroplane Flights
daily. Balloon ascensions and nu-
merous other fine attractions. Horse
Races and Liberal Prizes in all De-
partments.
YORK COUNTY FAIR ASSO.
TT mo.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14
INDIGESTION and Nervousness

are overcome by Mrs. Joe Persons
Remedy, which purifies the blood and
tones up the system. Mrs. Mary
Amanda Nash, Lumberton, n. c., was
a severe sufferer from acute indiges-
ton. which brought on extreme nerv-
BUSINESS, suffering daily with catarrhal
headache. Mrs. Joe Persons Rene
dy relieved all these ills and she en-
dorses it as the best medicine in the
world
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14
GIVE NATURE A CHANCE


Mrs. Joe Persons Remedy purifies
the blood and permits nature to re-
pair the damage Of the ills brought on
by impure blood-indigestion rheu-
matism, scrofula, eczema. Get the
blood right and most ills are cured.
Your druggist should have Mrs. Joe
Persons Remedy. If he hasn't, send
us his name and one dollar for large
bottle.
REMEDY SALES CORPORATION,
Charlotte, y. G.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-08-14
"Gets-It" For Corns
Sure as Sunrise.

New Plan. Corns Shrivel, Vanish.
Until "GETS-IT" was born nobody
was ever sure of getting rid Of a
corn. Corn treatments nearly all con-
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-12-19
Taxi Drive, In Holland.

The dying engine of the yacht lost
consciousness for about the twentieth
time during this trip as we were near
ing Amsterdam: but high wind,
carrying with 1t tremendous showers
poles, up the last half mile of the North
Sea Canal into the private haven of
the Royal Dutch Yacht Club, where we
were most amicably received, as. in
deed. in all the yacht club basins Of
Holland. Baths telephones and smoking
rooms were at our disposal without any
charge. in addition TO the security Of
the haven, and it was possible to get
taxicabs from the somewhat distant
city. We demanded chauffeur who
could speak English They sent us a
taxi with two chauffeurs. neither of
whom could speak any language what
soever known to philologists. But by
the use of maps and modification OF
the pictorial writing of the ancient
.Aztecs we contriyed to be driven al
most where we wanted. At the end
of the excursion l had made, in my
quality of observer, two generaliza-
tions-first, that Amsterdam taxis had
two drivers for safety: and. second,
that taxi-travel in Amsterdam was
very exciting and dangerous. But our
drivers were 50 amiable, soft-tongued
and energetic that tipped them both.
then, somehow. learned the truth;
one of the men was driving taxi tor
the first time. and the other was teach
ing him.-Century Magazine.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-12-19
DEER KILLS MAN IN LAKE.
Hunter Pursuss Wounded Animal Int
Water-Hody Found.

Hunter Pursuss Wounded Animal Into
Water-Hody Found.
David Gibson. a hunter. met death
while battling with wounded deer In
Sawyer Lake, near here.
This was revealed when Gibson's
body was recovered on Tuesday. His
head was badly cut his arms and up
per part OF his body bruised. and his
clothing torn. The body was located
in deep water.
Gibson. while hunting with his
brother, pursued wounded deer to
the lake. The animal plunged in and
altho 1t had grown dark Gibson fol-
lowed. His brother heard him call for
help. but the darkness prevented him
from seeing what was taking place out
in the lake. He obtained a boat, but
could find neither his brother nor the
deer
Searching parties spent two days in
the hunt for the body.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-12-19

proprietors in the form of letters from
the manager OF one of the big hotels
who seems apprehensive that Ameri-
cans may be deferred by the thought
that the Casino de Paris, the American
Bar. and the Tir aux Pigeons are not
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-12-19
ing their usual functions.

performing their usual functions.
He neglects to point out how the
American can reach Monte Carlo just
now in anything like the comfort he
has been used to. without running into
some part of the war.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-12-19

Let ue rejoice that Domrcmy. sacred
To Joan of Arc. has been shelled by
hostile invaders. To be sure there
was no motive for such Smelling, but
motive hasn't been apparent In several
cases of destruction by Prussian guns
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1914-12-19

One of these pictures shows num-
Der of English graves on French soil.
The wooden crosses mark the last rest
ing place Of the soldiers who were