davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
LITTLE SERMON ON THRIFT
Great English Preacher Told some
Fine Truths IN . Few Compare
lively short Sentences.

MY motto is, pay as you go. and
keep from small scores. Short reck-
onings are soon cleared Pay what
you owe and what you're worth youh
know. Let the clock tick, but no
tick" for me. Better 60 to bed WIN
out your supper than to get up In
debt. Sins and debt are always more
than we think them to be. Little by
little a man gets over his head and
ears. II is the petty expenses that
empty the purse. Money is round and
rolls away easily.
Tom Thriftless buys what he does
not want because It is great bargain
and so is soon brought to sell what
he does not want and finds 1t a very
little bargain; he cannot say "no" 10
his friend who wants him to be Sc
curity; he gives grand dinners. makes
many holidays. keeps a fat table lets
his wife dress fine, never looks atter
his servants and by and by he ls
quite surprised to find the quarter
days come round so very fast ana
that his creditors bark so loud.
He has sowed his money In the field
of poverty. Still he hopes for some
thing to turn up to help him out Oh
difficulty and so muddles himself into
more trouble, forgetting that hope
and expectations are FOOLS Income.
Being hard up he goes to market
with empty pockets and buys at what
ever prices tradesmen like to charge
him, and so he pays them double and
gets deeper and deeper into the mire.
This leads him to scheming and try
ing little tricks and mean dodges;
for it is hard for an empty sack TO
stand upright. This is sure not TO
answer, for schemes are like spiders
webs, which never catch anything
better than flies, and are soon swept
away. AS well attempt to mend your
shoes with brown paper or stop a
broken window with a sheet of ice as
try to patch up falling business with
maneuvering and scheming When
the schemer is found out he is like
dog in a church, whom everybody
kicks at, and like a barrel OF pow
der. which nobody wants for a neigh
bor.-From John Ploughman's Talk
by Charles H. Sturgeon.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
PULLING CASE FOR DOCTOR
Patient Couldn't Hear Timeplece Be
cause Absent-Mlnded Physician
Forgot to Wind Il.

A man went to physician and
said: Doctor, I've got trouble with
my left ear What can you do for
me?"
The doctor held his watch foot
away from the patients ear and
asked:
Can you hear the tick?"
Il can barely hear it,
The physician got out some inter
esting.looking instruments and re
moved a large lump Of wax from the
ailing member.
"Now you ought to hear better" he
said. and held the watch as before.
The man listened
Don't you hear II better now?"
NO; | don't hear 1t at ALL"
That's queer" said the doctor, and
took another look.
Are you sure you don't hear nowT
Il can hear you, but l cant hear
the watch"
Lets try your well ear. Can yov
hear?"
Never a tick"
The doctor looked puzzled. The pa
tient looked alarmed.
See here, doctor, when you dug
me that time you didn't destroy my
hearing. did yod?"
Il couldn't have done that" said the
doctor, yet something is certainly
wrong. Listen again"
The man listened with great intent
ness, but he shook his head at last
IF you have wrecked my ear-drums
doctor" he began, I'll"
But he did not finish his threat, fol
Just then the doctor put his watch to
his own ear, grinned foolishly, and
said:
q guess I forgot to wind the blessed
thing last night"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
Are You A Woman?

Baltimore, Md.-Mrs. W. II. lson,
at l419 East Madison street writes:
For several years. suffered, off
and on, from female troubles, until
finally | was taken down and could do
nothing. The pains which ] expert
eoct d. shall never forget. lost
weight till / was only skin and bones.
! believe | would have been in my
grave. il had not tried Cardui.
shall praise it as long as | live"
M my women. like Mrs. lson. a
weak and discouraged, on account
OF some painful ailment. Are you
one Of these sufferers? Cardui will
help you. Try it today. Any drug
& st.
Advertisement.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
Blot Removed.

The dukes manner was visibly con-
strained in the presence of his afh'
anced. 81 cannot marry into a fam
ily," he was saying, as gently as pos
sible, whose wealth was accumulated
in trade"
She tremble6 in spite Of her efforts
to appear calm.
do you lay that imputation upon
my house. your grace?" she asked,
He bowed sadly.
"'Tis false!" she shrieked. THE
money that came over the bar only
paid expenses. The profit was all in
the nickelin-the-slot machine!"
Darling, can you ever forgive me?'
he exclaimed, sinking upon one knee
Edward! Puck.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
SIander.

A suffragette was rejoicing over
the announcement that the munich
pal council Of Paris is in favor of Civ
ing the vote to women.
I'VE are gaining recognition every
where" said she; "and am glad to
say that much Of our success is due
10 the support of men. Their unself-
ish help in our cause proves that the
male sex has been greatly misjudged
by prejudiced suffragettes.
Smiling. she concluded:
1T isn't true, as ! once heard
suffragette remark, that a man is only
willing TO take the burden from the
shoulders OF a frail woman when she
is harassed with the care OF a large
and paying property"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
Unusual Offer To Our Readers

For a limited time, and subject to
withdrawal after 30.days, the well
known publishing house Of the j. B.
Lippincott Company, Philadelphia,
founded in 1892. offers to the readers
of this paper a IL months subscrip.
ton to "Lippincott's Magazine" and
a years subscription to the Kentuck-
ian. both for $500. Thisis the price
of a twelve months subscription to
"Iippincott's" alone. Additional to
obtaining every issue of this paper
for year, our readers will receive
| in "Lippincott's," IL great complete
novels by popular authors, los short
stories, crisp, entertaining, original
45 timely articles from the pens OF
masters, and each month some ex'
cellent poems with the right sentl
ment. and "Walnuts and Wine,
the most popular humor section in
America. To obtain this extraordin
ary offer prompt action is necessary
Remit to J. B. Lippincott Company
Washington Square. Phta.. Pa.
Advertisement.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
For Frost Bites handicapped
Hands.

Forifrost bitten ears. ifngers ard
toes; chapped hands and lips, chill
blains, cold sores, red and rough
skins, there is nothing to equal Buck
lens Arnica Salve. Stops the pain
at once and heals quickly. In every
home there should be a box handy
all the time. Best remedy for all
skin diseasss, itching eczema, letter,
piles, etc. 25c. All druggists or by
mail. H. E. Bucklen & Co. Phil.
adelphiaIor st. Louis. Advertisement
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22

When it is desirable to keep ice in
the sickroom, this will be found a very
good plan: Get large, wide-mouthed
Jar, tie a piece Of coarse flannel over
it, making it loose and bag-like in the
center. Now put the fee in this bag
and cover it with another piece Of
flannel, folded three or four times. 1t
will keep better this way than by any
other method. When you require TO
break ii, use a coarse darning needle
or a fine knitting needle, giving 1t a
gentle tap with hammer.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22

A suffragette threw a paper bag
filed with flour in the face of Thos.
NJ. Wood, Secretary for Scotland,
who was making a speech at Edin-
burg. If she had made the flour
into bread and hit the right place in
his face, she might have impressed
him more. A wise woman has said
the proper way to work a man is to
Feed the brute
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
Duty EIalnsst at First slaht.

There is nothing like the first
glance we get at duty, before there
has been any special pleading Of our
affections or incliuatons. Duty is
never uncertain at first. 1t is only
after we have got involved in the
mazes and sophistries of wishing that
things are otherwise than they are
that it seems indistinct. Considering
a duty is often explaining it away.-F.
w. Robertson.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22

II was at country ball at which the
regular printed dance card with the
dainty little pencil attached was be-
ing used for the first time. A young
fellow from the city. noticing that a
stout and not very attractive young
woman was being a good deal OF q
wall-nower, took pity on her and said;
rs your program full?"
my what?"
Your program"
After a moments reelection, she
said
mo, It Is not. amt ct but One
icel"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22

A resolution providing for an in
yestigation Of Examiner Goodpas
ter, who has reported the irregu
larities in various departments, was
introduced Monday and was tabled,
after discussion. After it is shown
whether or not his charges are sus-
tanned, was thought tob be ample time
to inspect the Inspector.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
New Phononraph Clock.

A photograph clock has been per-
fected by Max Marcus, a German, af-
ter many years OF labor. 1t not only
keeps time to the second, but tells
the time IN a clear BARITONE voice.
-Four o'clock" and "Four-thirty!"
says the clock in loud, distinct but
very pleasantly modulated tones and
the half and full hours may be re-
peated at will by the pressing Of a
button. The quarters are not spoken.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
Business.

"Your brother who waits on the
table is much more countrifed than
you," remarked the summer boarder.
Hes a regular rube."
That isn't my brother" replied the
farmers daughter. He's an actor
papa hired in the city to kid th'
guests. "-Judge.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
They Vanished.

Madame Calve says: Sing and
your ills will vanish"
Ever try it,"
Tried It just yesterday"
"And did it work."
Fine. My ills vanished at once"
Gee, I'll have to try II. What was
your trouble?"
"A couple of chair warmers who
were killing time in my Office"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
Another Interpretation.

Il see where an actor advertisea
that he is at liberty"
Well, that merely means that he
Is open to an engagement"
"Pshaw! l thought it meant he had
escaped from the last town he played
In"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
gU ,s,-ny,,DN RATES:
ANNOUNCE ENTS

I'VE are autho' geo 10 announce
HON. DAVID q. = tNCHELOE,i
of Hopkins uuty, - candlua.e
ForConeress from N second district,
subject to acncn # ne democratic
primary AUGUST, 1911.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
Removal Notice.

DR.. Andrew Sargent has moved
his office and residence to the Frank
ell Flats at Main and Twelfth'streets.
Telephone 552.
Advertisement.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
We All Do.

els his wife a woman Of cultureT
We'll. she wears too many clothes,
In my opinion"
That's nothing. wear too many
clothes, in my opinion. this time o.
year"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
His Nasty Way.

"The weather man says there is no
relief in sight"
well, what does that prove except
that the weather man Is looking foI
trouble?"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
Preferred Locals.

See j. h. Dseg for contractor 9
buiIding!and general repair work Oh
all kinds. Phone 476.
Advertisement.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22

Among the important bills in the
House is one to amend the county
INIT law so that 25 per cent. of the
voters of the entire county will be
sufficient to call an election. AT
present the law requires 25 per cent
of each district in the county.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22

Tbere was an average of one child
born every four minutes during the
month of October in New York City,
or a total Of II, sos.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
DIR. REAzLET
Specialist
eye, Ear, Nose and Throat)
what she Remembered.

A Wellington girl was asked what
she remembered about the Sunday
school lesson and admitted 10 her
mamma that she remembered moth
ing but the last song. well, what
was thatY" the mother asked. Bring
ing in the Sheets" the daughter said.
Kansas City Star.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
Essential Attributes.

Poor. motherless grill" he en-
claimed, and turned sadly away.
What he wanted was a motherless
girl who should be In moderate cir
cumstances, at least.-Puck.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
Accounted For.

Jimmy kept his head when we fell
into the water.
mo wonder you all noated 50 nicely
til help came"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
For Congress-.
We are authoriz-i to announce
]. W. HENSON

Ans q candidate for the Democratic
.,oninstion for Congress for the
Second Copgre. siJnal District
aubiect to he pc ION of the primary
tn be nod in August, 1914.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22
For Sale.

| have 600 bales of wheat straw,
free of onions, for sale. Phone S2l-4
E. w. STEGAR.
Advertisement
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-01-22

Little Micky-So yer let yer woman
teacher lick yer, Ell?
Little Jimmy-Sure ting. Do yeJ
take me fer a pugilist?
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

Hon. T. R. Preston. candidate
for the Democratic nomination
for governor, will address the
voters of Cooke county at the
court house in Newport on We'd
nesday May 9th, at one o'clock, p.
m. Mr.. Preston has a message
which will interest every tax pay
er who hears it and it is hoped he
will be greeted by alargc audience.
Ladies are especially invited:
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

Twelve million children in the
country have defective teeth, and
yet some American dentists 60
abroad to practice their profess
sion.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

We may owe ancient Greece a
great debt, but the young Greeks
are collecting it at every shoe
store and every shoe shine parlor.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

Senators simply have to make
a fuss before they do the right
thing regarding canal tolls. If
they did the right thing at first
people would think they had lost
their prehistoric dignity.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

Our farmers throughout this
section of the state at present are
doing what is some times termed
by them as humping their backs"
Cooke and adjoining counties
have prosperous lot Of farmers
and we are pleased that the out
look is so bright for them.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

nlre the craftsmanship OF, Presl-
lent Wilson who was the first to
'ealize that a mistake was made
n the bill of 1912 when congress
passed free tolls. A fool never
'hanges its mind but a wise man
Ices when there is good grounds
or so doing. -
One must concede that women
Of today show better taste in p )li-
les than they do in dress.
Just think. Down in Arizona
here are people who have never
seen a moving picture show.
Still we believe we are two
years nearer peace in Mexico
han we were two years ago.
Another of the great mysteries
n life is, why is it that company
generally comes on the cooks day
off.
Missouri's failure to get a salts
'actory state song encourages
illinois to worry along with How
Dry | Am"
Gen. Wetherspoon who is going
to be head of the American Army
before long ought to be able to
stir things up.
One begans to suspect that
Rogar Williams is the scratch
in the ILL.,, Democratic
Senatorial race.
Most great men have doubles,
out Senator Lewis of ILL.,, is an ex-
,eption. Those auburn Whiskers
nave no duplicates.
There must have been a lot of
ugly women before the drug
stores began selling all these first
aids to the complexion.
The war is over. The Federal
Government is to establish a big
reserve bank in Richmond. the
capital of the Confederacy.
The 81 railroads north of the
Ohio and the Potomac Rivers and
east of the Mississippi have been
trying for more than one year to
secure an increase of 5 per cent
on freight rates. 1t is expected
that the interstate Commerce
Commissioner which has sole
Jurisdiction in the matter will
render a decision about May 1st.
It has been noted that sentiment
has been rapidly growing in favor
of giving these great railroads the
small increase of 5 per cent which
they ask. The roads have shown
that the high cost of living has hit
them just as hard as it has hit in.
The cost of labor has
increased, the cost of material has
increased and they have
given several increases in pay to
their men in the last ten years
and yet have been refused the
right to slightly increase their
freight rates. The roads in. the
South and West charges from 20
to so per cent higher rates than
these 81 railroads and it is only
just that they should have this in
crease so that they can improve
their equipment, extend their lines
and give employment to thousands
of people who are anxious to get
the job.
Pass the Plain Talk to your
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

In accordance with the i'm
memorial usage Of the "outs"
since the time of President Wash
linton, Senator Cummins calls
President Wilson a "usurper."
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

There is general desire on the
part of Congress to finish up the
business and adjourn in June if
possible. The business men of
the country are also earnestly
urging congress to make a quick
adjournment and let the country
have a much needed rest. Bust
ness conditions are improving in
all sections of the country and it
is generally conced that we have
passed enough laws in the last ten
years and that the country needs a
rest more than anything else.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

The story manufactured in
Newport and sent to the Journal
and TRIBUNE reporting a supposed
meeting of Independent Demo-
Gratis was in keeping with the
ideas of the young man who sent
the story. His story made g. w.
Willis preside over the meeting
and Harrison Wood act as secre-
tary. If there was a meeting Mr..
Willis did not seem to know any,
thing about it and Mr.. Wood was
not in town that day. However,
his purpose was served-the story
went broadcast over the state and
his law enforcement and temper
ance robes are about as clean
now as they were before.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

Pass the Plain Talk to your
neighbor; if may interest him.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

The war is over. The Federal
Government is to establish big
reserve bank in Richmond, the
capital of the Confederacy.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

The Plain Talk is not fortunate
enough to have a great educator
on its editorial staff, and we may
not be able to furnish our readers
an educational column each week,
but we will try to give them the
news and keep them posted on
the number of new jobs the Gov.
gives our modest, young Supt.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

Most great men have doubles,
but Senator Lewis of ILL.,, is an ex-
ception. Those auburn whiskers
have no duplicates.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

There must have been a lot of
ugly women before the drug
stores began selling all these first
aids to the complexion.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

Gen. Wetherspoon who is going
to be head of the American Army
before long ought to be able to
stir things up.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

One begans to suspect that
Rogar Williams is the scratch
candidate in the ILL.,, Democratic
Senatorial race.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

Missouri's failure to get a salts
factory state song encourages
Illinois to worry along with How
Dry Am"
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

The sediment throughout the
country is steadily growing
stronger and stronger in favor of
President Wilson in requesting
Congress to repeal the free tolls
on Coast Wise Shipping through
the Panama Canal. If free tolls
were allowed to stand Uncle Sam
would be making present of
about seven million dollars a year
to the New York Shipping Trust
for which the people would de
rive no adequate benefit. Furth-
ermore it has been pointed out
that if he allowed any ships of
Commerce to pass free through
the Canal, the European ship own
ers could ship their goods to New
York or New Orleans and then
transfer them to the American
boats and thus pass through the
Canal free of toll thereby robbing
the Government of millions of
dollars of revenue in Canal Tolls.
The more the people have studied
the question the more they adj
mire the craftsmanship OF, Presi-
dent Wilson who was the first to
realize that a mistake was made
in the bill of 1912 when congress
passed free tolls. A fool never
changes its mind but wise man
does when there is good grounds
for so doing. ..-
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

One must concede that women
of today show better taste in p )li-
tics than they do in dress.
The Newport plain talk. (Newport, Tenn.) 1909-1939, 1914-04-30

Another of the great mysteries
in life is, why is it that company
generally comes on the cooks day
off.