The Adair County news., 1914-01-14
AN OLD MAIDS
ADVICE

By NJ. QUAD
Copyright, 1913, by Associated Lit
erary Press.


I'D to fall in love and become a wife
and mother.
The little darling didn't.
When she was a year old she hadn't
smiled yet. When the doctor was APP
pealed to as to what allied her he re-
piled:
Her name gave her a shock and
soured her disposition"
But will she die young?" was asked.
Not by a joyful! She is cut out for
an old maid. and she will live as long
as there is anything that she can med
die with and stir up trouble"
She had got to be thirty years
old when an event happened Up 70
this time they had been incidents and
occurrences. This was an event to be
spelled with big .'E."
Little Mrs. Larkins was the bride of
a year. She had married a nice young
man, and the home was a happy one.
One day the husband answered her in
an impatient way, and soon after he
had gone to business Cynthia dropped
in to find the wife in tears. The old
maid licked her chops. Here was a
bouquet Of gossip for her. What was
the matter:
"It's-it's Henryp
"Ah-ha! | said so when you were
married. What's he done"
Il wanted just a card of hooks and
eyes, and he said he couldn't be both
cred with such trifes."
"Wen. that's the beginning Of the
end. In six months there will be
separation"
"Oh, don't say that. Henry was
bothered about something and gave
me an impatient answer Maybe he
will even bring the hooks and eyes
when he comes"
Lucy Larkins, prepare yourself and
don't be deceived, l can't stop longer
today, but l will come in tomorrow
and tell you what you must 90. Unless
you want TO lose your husband, this
thing must be nipped in the bud"
"Why, Cynthia. how you brighten
me!' exclaimed the wife.
Mr. Larkius had loaned a sum Of
money to be repaid ut a certain date
When the date arrived the money was
not forthcoming Therefore he was
upset
If Nj. Larlljus had owned up about
the money the skies would have clear
ed in five minutes. If Mrs. Larkius
had mentioned that the Old maid was
seeking to make trouble there would
have been IN explanation. As it was,
when Cynthia called next day she
found a victim ready for her
Did be bring the hooks and eyesE'
she asked.
"N-nO.
Good We will now proceed to
show that young man q few things to
open his eyes. We will let him under
stand that if he is tired of you You
are ditto"
But I can't believe he is tired Of
me-" was protested
There was plain talk on the one side
and tears and sobs on the other, and
at length the wife was won over, and
the old maid left the house saying:
''Remem5er that = you funk out you
win lose Henry. Al you have to do is
to keep quiet till give the word"
Just about that hour the money that
Mr.. Larkins was anxious about was
paid over, and he came home an hour
ahead Of time to tell the good news
and make his apologies
"Oh. Lucy, dear" he called as he
entered the house.
No Lucy dear
Then came the note left for him prop
ped up against the clock.
CT have discovered that you 10 long
er love me- and you viii never see me
again. it read
Mr.. LarEinS jumped two feet high.
His heart chOked him His knees wab-
bled The room whirled round and
round with him. in a minute more
he was ont Of the house calling an
alarm:
Lucy has committed suicide! Come
on to the river!"
The river was at its lowest stage.
and a child could have crossed it
Lucy'S bedraggled body was not to be
seen. There was a mud turtle or two
sailing up or down. but no Lucy.
There We're orchards and groves,
and all night long men were searching
They found no trace of the missing
wife. and the next day the ground was
covered again with even more care.
The result was the same.
AS night came down for the second
time a score Of men gathered at the
Larkins home to sympathiZe, cOndOle
and plan anew. Henry Larkins was
in tears and the others on the verge
when In walked Lucy. She had come
downstairs from the garnet, where she
had been in hiding in compliance with
Miss Cynthia's orders. She had agreed
to stay up there at least three days,
but couldn't stand the strain.
Her story was told. explanations
made. and after a time Of rejoicing
Squire Miller raped for order and
said:
Gentlemen, this meeting has a pleas
ant duty to perform. Let us perform
It."
Twenty men fled out and down the
e.Ar = A.