The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1914-07-16
THE INCONSISTENT MALE.
And the Girl Who Likes to Do the
Talking.

began the girl VINO likes 10 talk.
Don't you mean the Inconsistency
of women?" hopefully inquired the
masculine listener.
Il do not. 1 mean just what I
said! Why, woman would
have to work all day and then over
time to be as inconsistent as man
can be in one short hour! I sup
pose you hate the present feminine
fashions?"
"Of adj the insane, idiotic and
homely styles" began the un-
wary masculine listener, confused by
her sudden switch of conversation.
"Turaloo!" chortleG the girl who
likes to talk. "Of course, you do!
You spend all your spare time raving
about them and thinking up cutting
things to say about the women who
deck themselves so! You wonder
and you are seized with fear as to the
future, and you are panied and regret
to observe!
1T seems to you woman is degen-
Grating and you would like to know
what the world is coming to and why
some woman with brains and modes
ty doesn't arise and defy these arbi-
ters of fashion and dress as men
would like to see her do.
"Say-I'd like to see the inside OF
your head sometimes when you've in
vited me to go to the theatre and l
came down stairs attired in gather
ed skirt Eve yards around the bottom
edge, hat-heeled shoes and a poke
bonnet with a ribbon band that was
warranted not to jab out anyone's
eye or to require the elevating of the
cab rocf. If you didn't have a sud-
den &c of illness on the spot to pre-
vent your going I'd be awfully sur
prised. You know perfectly well that
you'd never have the nerve to walk
1down Michigan avenue with a girl
who was so different from everyone
else that she was regular process
sion! Now would you?"
"Well," began the masculine lis
tener, frowning, 81 think. you are
somewhat extreme-"
"You have to be- she said ruth
aessly. "If you aren't a freak OF
fashion you have to be trump be-
cause you aren't! And I suppose
you approve of the domestic woman?
I You'd like to know what the modern
girls mean by frivoling their time
away and playing bridge and hunting
bargains and going to matinees and
.crowding to be manicured instead OF
doing it themselves and eating choco-
late creams, while mother irons their
party dresses!
~ Don't open your mouth that way,
because those are your very words!
i never heard you say them, but no
man except deaf and dumb one ev-
er grows to be 80 without having that
kind of an attack! Pretty soon they'll
vaccinate against it.
~ "The worst cases moan and sob
because the modern woman doesn't
put up preserves and sugar cure the
hams and recommend camphorated
oil if anyone snif1es! How long
would you last if you came to call on
me and / entertained you with
sprightly account of how I peeled
onions for dinner and cleaned the top
shelves in the pantry and how the
Juice boiled over on the currants and
burned and, anyhow, was afraid the
stuff was not going to jelly-and that
tomorrow if the sun shone intended
hanging out the woolens to prevent
moths?"
"Say!" protested the masculine lis
tener. He got no farther.
81 am" the girl who likes to talk
told him. "The modern woman does
all those things, of course, if she Is
any kind of housekeeper-but she
keeps it dark! She entertains you
with her frivolings! The lady who
cured hams and made candies didn't
frivol because she hadn't time, and
somehow think the men those days
must have led terribly dull lives. And
you do admire the economical girl,
the sort who thinks twice before she
spends papa's pennies. She says,
Yes, dear father and makes over
her year before last best dress instead
of raging the poor old gentleman into
his grave to buy her something bet
ter than anyone else has! 1 don't
notice you flocking in her wake, how
ever! You are right beside little
bright-eyes in the slit skirt about
twenty inches wide and the hat with
l 1-2 foot anaemic feather on it
that is warranted to jab out every eye
e l. H<zP