The Kansas City sun. (Kansas City, Mo.) 1908-1924, 1914-08-29

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Mp this is, has set me think
S ing Of the reason that led to
V,0W I1 my second marriage. For
this is the anniversary of
lW M my first wedding day. 1t
INN seems strange that I
IS\ should remember this,
and that there is nobody
to whom l can talk of the thoughts
that the date brings to me.
Ernest and l were absurdly happy,
our friends said. Maybe they were
right, but l did not see any a%bsurdity
In our bliss. My husbands income
was a comfortable one, but not large.
l suppose we could have saved money,
but we did not try to, and lived up
to every cent WI had.
Why should we bother?" Ernest
would ask merrily. I'm sure of my
job, and 1t brings US In enough to give
III a good time and to pay as we go.
Since we have each other, why not
make the most of all the happiness
that comes to us? When we begin to
grow old we can being to save"
Yes, it was a care-free, happy life.
l had left college, expecting to sup
port myself, and began by writing an
occasional story to earn a little money.
l was, in fact, a poor girl when l mar
ried. My parents were dead and an
aunt in the West had cared for and
educated me until she died, leaving me
with sufficient money to take me to
New York, where l had a few friends
and where l determined to make my
living by my pen. How easy it sounds,
and how easy l thought it was before
l knew life!
But l did not have to earn the
]precarious living then for, during the
first fortnight in New York, while
was still staying with the friends who
took me in until l could look for a
suitable boarding place, l met Ernest.
Ours was. l suppose, what people
call " a case of love at first sight
We had a short engagement, and had
the representations of our acquaint-
ances proved true, we would have re-
pented at leisure. But we never did.
For five perfect years we were the
happiest couple in the world. We had
a dainty little apartment and kept one
excellent servant. In society we had
friends who liked US; at home, we
had each other. Our honeymoon
lasted five times twelve months.
And then Ernest died. 1t was all so
sudden that felt as if he had slipped
away into the Great Unknown without
stopping to a me a last good-by.
/ suppose ! was numbed and dazed, for
/ did not cry out nor make a moan.
l remember wondering how Ernest
could do such a thing when he knew
that he was all l had. He might have
waited long enough, l thought, to tell
me that he was going, and what l was
to do without him. l almost envied
him because he was spared the lone
Illness to which he had left me.
Anyone who has been through a
crushing sorrow knows the misery of
the obsession of petty thoughts. 1t is
as If ones true self were made un-
conscious by the blow, and only the
small, weak. and trivial side of ones
nature asserted itself.
nc hight DclOI6 lu6g UuIltu CIn6bL
l was left alone with him-except for
the servant asleep In her room. My
friends had been very kind and had
attended to everything for me. l sup
pose they thought that 1t was all right
to leave as calm a woman as seemed
alone on this last night. l have re-
membered that often since then when
l have heard people declare that some
one in sorrow lis wonderfully quiet
and brave" How little they know!
But l was glad my friends thought this
of me. After they had coaxed me to
go to bed, and all had gone away, l
got up, put on slippers and wrapper,
and went into the little parlor where
Ernest lay. AS gazed at him could
at first only remember how handsome
he had looked on the last evening we
had spent alone together. He had
taken me out to dinner and l had
chided him, l~aughingly, for ordering SO
many good things, Just for me-" He
had insisted that when he dined with
the sweetest in the land" he
liked her to eat the best things he
SOuAh dhOlus A4O hdu lOOhCu at mo
as he said this, lifted his glass of
champagne to his lips, and drank
my health, the smile | loved to see
Frightening his face and lighting his
ayes, Now, for an awful moment,
/ looked down on his closed
eyes. Then the truth came to me,
and l felt hat he was dead.
MnhAdu quar- In M xtbak 4hoA -.
citation OF realization meant to me.
The whole world changed while / was
alone in that little parlor, before /
crept back at daylight to my own
room. God was very far off and did
not seem to hear or care. And Err
nest was dead.
My friends helped me find a four
room and bath apartment in an un-
fashionable street. 1t was up four
flights of stairs, as the higher one
went the cheaper It was. Only fiat
houses" were OF that block, and the
street swarmed with children-most
of them the small ions and daughters
of the Janitors. The courts were mar,
row and / used to hear the neighbors
talking across the air shaft. Some
Art mann Tn rFcT NIAAHAuR