The Washington herald., 1914-03-10
Statesmen, Real and Near.
BY PRED c. KELLY.

An interesting bit Of phenomena h
Speaker Clarkis wey Of greeting a visitoi
In his private ocfiie.
i When he is engaged In thought. tn.
Speaker slides down in big leather
chair uutIl he is sitting ON the small
Icf his back. and gazes abstractedly at q
newspaper spread across his lap.
I! A visitor enters Champ looks up
draws his eyes down to a narrow little
owl-iike slit and drawis: Come in
| Now. the way he says that Come in
indicates just how welcome the visitor
| Is.
| II he says IL almost pleasantly, that
Indicates only a moderate feeling OF hos
pitality and the visitor would better not
tarry too long. But let US suppose. on
tho other hand. that the Speaker
! stretches out his Come in into an un-
usually long drawi-with a slight rising
infection on the come" and a slow
downward infection to the in" and
that. In addition. his tone is one SEEM
ingIy Of great vexation. Suppose. furth-
er. that he also drawls a prolonged "Sit
dGwn-ni'-as IL to say: What in thun-
der are you standing there for. when
there are chairs?'
In that case the visitor is plenty well
come and can Etay as long as he sees
nt For the Speaker reserves his gruff-
esi tones for those he likes best
Representative Humphreys, Il WASH
ington, got up in the House one bright.
crisp afternoon last month and painted
n dismal picture Of the woe and desola-
tion wrought by the Democratic party.
~ one accepted Humphreys predictions.
II looked like a question cf an absurdly
short time until practically every busi-
ness institution, would be forced into
ruin. and a store or factory with its doors
open would be so unusual as to be pointed
cut from the sightseeing vans
a day or 50 after that. Humphreys
wife set out on a little shopping expedi-
ton. and the first store she tried to enter
was locked up without so much as a
plncard on the front door. She tried
another big store. and another. and they.
too, had been locked up, presumably by
the sheriff. All was woe and desolation.
lust as her husband had predicted. Sadly
she went home to tell her husband that
his dismal forecasts had already come
true.
NO" said Humphreys. gloomily. Il
fear We can't blame the Democrats for
the closed doors today. This is Wash
ington's Birthday
One cannot always tell when one is
getting ones self into a serious scrape.
When Representative Samuel Smith. Of
was serving on the District Of
Columbia Committee. one of the District
came and asked him to
introduce a bill they had drawn up to-
stop the flying of kites within the Dis
trict of Columbia. The idea was to-
eliminate the danger of fires from kites
sent up with lanterns on the tail.
Somebody on the committee had to in
troduce the bill. il il was TO be passed,
and Smith innocentIy dropped it in.
He thought no more about il until he
got home for the fall campaign and then
he found that there was the very divvle
10 pay.
-.e opposition had learned Of the Kite
Act introduced TO Congress under Smiths
name. and were busly making il appear
not only that Smith was opposed TO let !
ting little boys have the simple pleasure |
1f flying kites, but that the bill was all
he could think of in the way OF helpful
egislatiop.
Smith barely escaped being defeated |
hat year. and all on account of the kite
,ill. that he had carelessly allowed to be
wished on him.
lSItOrS 20 the W mite House one MORN
lC recently found Joseph +. Tumulty,
he Presidents secretary. seated at his
esk with n newspaper before him. laugh
ng and chuckling at a great rate. After
few minutes he began to get control
{ himself again and was able to tell
that he was laughing at.
Here is the explanation:
For several weeks and even months.
lille the tariff bill was pending, a GER
ain New Jersey wooden manufacturer
as an almost daily visitor at the White
iOuse. He was on intimate terms with
u the New Jersey delegation. and Secre-
,ry Tumulty, and there was nothing for
umulty to do each morning but listen TO
10 tale of woe the man had to tell.
seemed that the new tariff bill was
ping to wreck the mans business and !
ACE him and his family on the street
'rners. each with p little tinCup for kind
adestrians to drop pennies into When 5
le tariff bill finally passed. the man
apartedt with the air OF one who has '
st suffered a total loss.
had forgot about his jersey g
lend and his misfOrtunes until he :
lanced TO pick up a Jersey City paper s
the morning referred TO. and read a d
rtain inConspicuous little item. II said
at Tumulty's friend was just about to q
eak ground for a s1.0O0,O 90 addition 10 5
: factory. il
opyrishi. 1915. by Fred G Kelly. All rights re- .
SsrTedl {