Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1914-12-11
SCOTTY is STRONG
FOR OSTRICHES
San Diego Exposition
December, 1914.

To- A-SSSAhUCA,
Dear Herb:--An ostrich is an avis
struthionoid Isn't that awful! You
wouldn't think it, but my new dicton-
ary says so-and 1 verified it by a
visit to the Ostrich Farm on the "Isth-
mus" here. Aside from that, and a
few other little things, l guess it's all
right.
The ostrich's chief aim in life is to
separate the tired business men from
his hard-earned shekels, swapping
therefor superfluous feathers for typic-
ally feminine ornamentation on the
lid of the t.b.m's wife. For that,
you've got to hand it to him. He is
bird indeed. The feathers are worth
nothing to him. He lives in a warm
climate so he doesn't need them for
protection. His wings are joke and
he can't fly any more than an ele-
plant. But the aforesaid shekels will
buy food and drink and raiment-and
plenty of each--for the concessions
aire who has some fifty of him here
at the San Diego Exposition. Believe
me, that's wonderful system trad
ing something you can't use, don't
want and which cost you nothing, for
the one thing we're all after And
with amazing regularity the ostrich
gets by with it.
He has other perfectly good points,
too, this avis struthionoid (sounds
pretty highbrowish- whaI?) If 1
could put the kick into these missives
that he has in either leg, could sell
them for at least 800 per kick-the
missives / mean
And say! Did you ever notice an
ostrich's neck? My boy! My boy!
With neck like that what joy a
real thirst would be! 1 saw one swAl-
low an orange. could watch it for
the longest time! And just then he
was the most contented-looking ost-
rich ever saw.
I'm told that Struthy shirks care
and avoids danger by the simple ex-
pedient of thrusting his diminutive
head into sandpi1e. There isn't any
sand In this Ostrich Farm grass
$50 I didn't see 1t done. 1t really
isn't Q bad idea, though My little
Helen hides her head beneath the bed
clothes, and lol All is welll But
we lose that faculty. we grown.ups.
Did you know that ostrichg are sus-
ceptible of being ridden? They're
not crazy about 1t, you understand,
but It's posisble. And In that con
nection must tell you a touching lit
tie incident about the versatile gentle
man who deletes from my communi-
cations such portions thereof as do
not suit his fancy or fail to accord
with his ideas Of the fitness Of things
who has the temerity to tell me
where to get OF, and gets away with
it-Awho can make typewriter take
Joke and q blue pencil take q column
at one stroke our board of censor
ship. in other words. 4 say this brasA
young Journalist from the effcte east
strobe into the Ostrich Farm recent
ly and accomodatingly undertook to-
demonstrate to as and to the birds
how an ostrich should DO ridden. He
has nerye--Pll say that for him both
ways.
There is but lsttle more to tell and
II grjeves me with reverse ElnslishJ
TO have to tell II. The doughty censor
nonohalantiy mounted handsome;
black Nubisn. The big bird turned
upon him a look Of Eeproachful anr
prise and them
Say, did you ever see anybody Glide
down a creased poIef Thus did our
censor descend to Mother Eartii
lSIta aHlI spa sIcks0ipg tagazss