davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
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VIGOROUS LANGUAGE.

This is an age of unique phraseology. Dean Mathews of the University of Chi cago is credited with saying, 'The most serious thing churches face today, par tichlarly the Baptist. is furnished by deacons. many of whom are nothing mora than moral thermos bottles and f1reless cookers showing religious fire occasionally because they find things already heated" Many and many time we have cudgeled our brains to hit upon suitable words to describe the sort of deacon Dean Mathews had in mind. Moral thermes bottle' fits him to nicety and "freless cooker is almost as good. Of course we have to walt for such things to be invented and become familiar to the masses before they can be used metaphorically. As both are comparatively recent. maybe that is why the honor falls to Dean Mathews of hav- ing discovered the human thermos bottle and his co-equal the human freless cook. CT. May their tribe decreasel
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
LUKE M,LuKE SAYS

From the Cincinnati Enquirer
 When a girl goes downtown wearing a rair of tight shoes she knows what a man means when he talks about dying with his boots on.
 The man who cant brag about himself is usually busy bragging about his an- cestors.
 It is hard to believe that woman is clothed in her right mind when she is wearing one of those freak basaues.
 The old-fashioned man who used to write love letter that figured ill a breach of promise case now has son who makes sure there isn't dictograph un- der the lounge before he starts to make love to a girl.
 An optimist is q man who buys his bathing suit for next season in October. An article in a current magazine con tending that the masculine form is more beautiful than the feminine sort of jared us until we found that the article was written by a woman.
 Three men were going hunting and one was delegated to purchase sl0 worth of provisions He bought $s5O worth of booze and 50 cents worth of cheese and crackers. And the other two men jumped | on him and beat him up for wasting SC
 much money on the cheese and crackers
 A designer says that the furnishings oi
 girls room should harmonize with the prevailing fashion in dress. This will mean that the beds will be narrower and the chairs will have slits in them. 1 Another religious denomination declares 1 that hell is a myth. If this Is so, whaI becomes of the man who blows in dol l lar a round treating a flock of rummics and then goes home and slaps his chii.
 dren. because they cry for penny?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
Real Estate for Investors

Many western cities that enjoyed phenomenal prosperity ten years ago suffered depression caused in meas ,,re Inv overdone real estate specula- +ion. Those cities have recovered from hard times and are now again enjoying great prosperity.
 Tn the south there has been very ,++le of the real estate boom in recent years. Birmingham had its fill of it in the 's0s, but upon emerging lhoo the twentieth century its realty values were on solid level, and there has been no backward movement since.
 Birmingham real estate advanced steadily from 1898 until 1908. When the manic of 1907 came nearly every branch of business was seriously ar fected. but the real estate market here suffered no decline. During the past three of four years there has been less speculative demand for property than was the case prior to 19o9 but every real estate owner had reason to feel that his property would enhance in value.
 Birmingham's future was never brighter than it is today. The real estate dealers here are far-seelng business men and they are treating their clients well when they advise them to invest in real estate at the present time. Every level-headed real estate agent will oppose any move ment to work up a boom-anything like an inflated boom--but all of them will be justified in boosting the market now, for great bargains for somebody are here.
 Birminghams population increases rapidly. It was 192,6S5 in 1910, ac- cording to the federal census. It is conservatively estimated today at 100000. When the next count is made by the government the population will hardly fall short of 300,000. In view of this rate of growth real estate should be exceptionally attractive to investors as well as home builders.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
Patriotic Criminals

The old saying that there is some good in every man seems to be proved once more by the attitude of crimi- nals in England since the war began. According to press report from London, the burglars, pickpockets and strong arm men of the city have been touched with patriotic fervor. The re- suit has been a marked decrease in crime. Police records show falling off of nearly 40 per cent in the num- Der of arrests.
 This situation rebounds all the more to the credit of the criminal element when it is remembered that the unset tied conditions of war time afford many more opportunities for them to commit crimes than they would have when the nation is at peace. To be sure, lew and order are still supreme in England, but there are far greater problems to consider just now than that presented by the criminal class, and the fact that fear of Zeppelin raid has made London dark at night alone offers the burglar and the foot pad unequaled opportunities to rob Not long ago it was reported that Eng fish prisoners were pleading for an opportunity to go to the front and work out their sentences by digging trenches. <
 No doubt there is great deal o1 truth in the views of social reformel In England who attributes mucf crime to the "ebullient animal spirits of youths brought up in wretched sur roundings." In the case of older crimi nals there is nearly always a turk ing hatred for the barriers that cir eumstances and environment have pu
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28

about them and there is an element of revenge in the proving on society. When a, national crisis is to be met great and small, the good and the bad, are drawn closer together. A remark able example of this is to be found in Germany where prince and peasant are fighting like brothers.
 There is never any telling what IS in a man until some great moment draws it out of him. War calcines mems souls, revealing the ultimate good or bad. There may be many po- tential heroes among England's crimi- nals who would make their country proud of them on the battlefield.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
HIGH PRICED MEN
From the New York World.

From the New York World
 Speaking as one having had experience. MT. Charles s. Mellen, who at one time had salary of seo,ooo year, said that no railroad president could earn more than S25
 In the Rock Island inquiry HOW under way it apupears that the speculators who acquired that property for purposes of exploitation agreed to pay gentleman who was to act as president s75,oO0 year for five years, at the end of which time he was to receive a bonus of $500, GOO
 Two directors of the Rock Island who were examined on Saturday admitted that they were dummies. One frankly stated that he had never considered him. self in any sense @ representative of the public. The other confessed that he had no time to look into things"
 The things referred to were the stock and bond transactions which, without adding & dollar to the value of the rail- road, increased its capital issues from s75.- 000,0oO to $S5o, coo and broke its back. Testifying on this point, MT. Yoakum said: Things were going at pretty fast gait among the railroads 10 or 12 years ago.
 They were indeed, and one way of in- creasing the speed was the employment by the joy-riders. for firgurehead pur- poses largely, of well known men, In most cases they were like the directors, mere dummies. They were not engaged to manage railroads. They were them- selves to be managed and they were to put their names and reputaticns behind what other men did.
 It is conceivable that an administrative genius might easily be worth s75,0Oo year to great property. If he could improve it's physical condition, extend it's business, increase its profits, add to it's goodwill, and preserve 1t and it's owners from the assaults of wreckers
 it would be hard to limit the value of his services. Acting only as a cover for others he would be costly to investors and tho public at any price.
 In all of these instances the size of the salary is not the point. The things to look into are the purposes of the em- ployment.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
QUEEN MARY AT FOTHERINGAY

By Amelia Josephine Burr.
 What have gained who gave so much: A crown too slippery for my clutch A body misused and a heart abused What have I gained for all I spefit? Many a dead mans curse to rue, Many lover and not one true, Many a bribe though not my due Yet I have lived, and am content. Say that I squandered life-confessed. Had I been miser of my best
 Today I would be in penury
 Even as now, a fool betrayed.
 The crown of stars and the neither flame Both have proved in the teeth of blamS Have not the years in pride and shame Given the worth of all paid?
 The course chose was the courss kepts Tn the face of doom like . flame I leapt1 Bitter and sweet have known complete One adventure Is left to try.
 Life I have finished, mire to throne Here at lifes end stand alone. Headsman, warder of worlds unknown, Show me now what 1t means to die!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
The American Mayors

'The conference of American mayors to be held in Philadelphia November F.. 13 and IA. will be of unusual interest" :" said John R. Capston, a business man cf the Pennsylvania metropolis.
 Judging from the programme pub lished in the papers and in booklet form many addresses touching public policies as to municipal utilities will be delivered by men who have had experience in civic movements and municipal government. Mayor Blankenburg has sent urgent in- vitations to all the mayors of this coun- try, and in addition to these there will be many delegates appointed by city authorities.
 Governor Tener will deliver the ad- dress of welcome The reception com mittee is made up of Philadelphia's most prominent men, including John Wana- maker, Joseph E. Widener and the pres ident of the Pennsylvania railroad. It is expected that Birmingham will be represented by the head of it's commits sion and by several delegates appointed by the commission"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
Good War Correspondent

From the Marion Standard.
 The Age-Herald of Sunday contained a most Interesting description of the war in Europe from the pen of Oscar Under wood, Jr., who has been spending some time in France. The earmarks of truth fulness of the young mans writing lent unusual interest to the article. He made personal visit to many of the battle scenes the horror of which was as plainly portrayed as If made with an artist brush. The gift of the father for clear ness of expression, going straight to the mark in the good, old, plain and simple way seems handed down to the son. If young Underwood will stay in the war zone and is given a free hand some of the war correspondents will have to come home and Americans will get better idea of what is really taking place.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
HEFLIN'S AID TO SUFFRAGE rom the Washington Post.

Members of the Congressional Union for Woman Suffrage held a celebration last night at their F street headquarters in honor of the acquisition of cents for the cause from Representative Hefiin of Alabama who has been one of their bit- terest opponents Mir. Hefiin is said to have contributed the cents for copy of the Suffragist during street meeting at Tenth and D streets northwest where Miss Elsie Hill spoke last night. The 5-cent piece has been framed and will be dis. played in the window of the union head- quarters.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
THE WRONG HAT

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
 The good parson was preaching out of town, and he went into a barber shop and got shave. The porter brushed hat and handed it to the parson, who donned it in an absent minded way. The parson dined at the home of pillar of the church that evening and the guests were all strict church members When the guests were leaving the host handed them their hats. He looked inside one hat to see the name and seemed deeply shocked.
 'Is this your hat?" asked the host.
 Yes" replied the parson. That is mine."
 The host handed the hat to the parson and he glanced at the inside band before donning it. And there, pasted into the crown of the hat, was card bearing this legend
 NO. you d. fool This aint yonl hat"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
REDUCING THE RISK
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer
 Granther's muskct hangs on the hooks above those old New England fireplaces. Nobody takes it down. Cause why? Governor Walsh. the wise ex- ecutive of the commonwealth of Mas sachusetts, has suspended the right to hunt in Bay State woods until heavy rains thoroughly soak the ground and the logs and bushes.
 Massachusetts fears forest fires and criminally -thoughtlsss hunters are pret- ty certain to start them. To cut down the risk the little army of slayers re- mains at home until their destructive |propensities are disarmed. Incidentally, a lot of hunters will avoid being filled up with shot at the hands of careless friends.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
WAR ECHOES

St. Louis Post Dispatch: King Albert of the Belgians once took refuge from his enemies in the kitchen of a poor woman. His thoughts being on his misfortunes. dered to watch, and was bowled out vo- ciferousiy by the woman when she re> turned. At another time, carrying harp, he entered one of the camps of his ene- mics and while he played and sang lis- tened to what the soldiers said about him.
 Utterly discouraged by defeats at 1iege, at Nsmur, at Brussels, at Malines, at Antwerp and at other places, King Albert of the Belgians secreted himself in humble quarters, where he saw a spider fail doz- ems of times in trying to climb wall. But, the insect persisting and at last suc- ceeding, King Albert was greatly en- heartened and led to believe that persist ence even in battling for his unhappy country might not be useless
 That King Albert really had these ad- ventures doughtless will not be credited by some. And if they are not credited now, how can we hope that they will be credited when he has been dead as long as Alfred the Great or even as long as Robert Bruce? Albert is the most roman tic figure of a King that has appeared in several centuries, but he can be en- joyed only by his contemporaries. In the future he will be only a fictitious national hero. a lengendary character, a Belgian myth
 Learned works will be written to prove that he did not do and could not have done the things he actually has done, be- cause in this time it was not customary for Kings to do such things.
 Venice (via Paris) Dispatch in the New York World: Advices received here from Budapest say that owing to the war and the necessity to supply the army with leef the consumption of cattle has been increased enormously. Since the begin ming of the war 5000 oxen have been slaughtered in Budapest, as against 25,0oo for the corresponding period of 1913.
 The reports add that owing to an inade- quate staff ill the cattle market live stock is frequently left unfed and unwatored from three to five days. As result many head of cattle die, and the remainder fur rish an inferior quality of meat.
 The shortage in the supply of cattle IS very apparent The consumption of horse flesh is rapidly increasing. Five hundred horses brought into the Vienna market or Monday sold for from s20 to $50 each.
 Since the beginning of the month the prices of eggs and butter in Vienna have risen tremendously. placing them far be- ycnd the reach of the poorer classes. Hungary is now the sole source of the egg supply. The peasants are making enormous profits also from other prod ucts, but show such disposition to hoard their gains that the Catholic clergy in the country districts recently were in structed to urge their people to spend thefr unexpected gains in buying farm machinery and other useful articles
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
L,rrLE LESION FOR THE DAY

FroIa the New York Sun.
 While so much stress is being laid upon the cruelties and horrors of war it is wise to note that nothing else could have evoked such wave of hu- mane sentiment as has ywelled up throughout the world. All sorts and conditions of men and women are af- fecteG. Purses are opened that never before have relaxed their strings to charitable appeal, and fingers which never before were busied with aught save frivolity are now feverishly niru- bie in works of mercy. Every heart is touched and softened by the specta- cle of dread and suffering, and all mankind Is bettered at least little by the bestowal of sympathy and pity Tn which selfish interests have no share.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
IN ALABAMA SANCTUMS
Quife a Scnon

From the Sand Mountain News.
 The Birmingham Age-Herald has been awarded the contract to publish the laws as they will be passed by the coming legislature. Quite scoop for this dis tinguished paper and will make it even more popular.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
CONSULT THE TABLE

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 It might be we'll to establish table Of discounts for the readers of war news estimates. With the standard within easy reaching distance the reader could quickly figure out the approximate truth. For instance. the other day correspondent declared that 400,0 ,0o0 German endorsements were be- ing hurled to the Belgian front Tn ss trains. Tn this case the discount should be 95 per cent. In 30 trains carrying a due proportion of infantry, cavalry and artillery. 1t is said to he
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
TLe New York Cotton Exeh.nxe

The opening of the New York cot ton exchange, which is set for early next month. will have a particularly good effect on the cotton situation at this time." said r. K. Andrews, wire chief of the Postal Telegraph, whose duties keep him in close touch with the commercial world.
 For one thing it will give stability to prices. There will be uniformity of prices which is lacking now. l predict that the cotton market will be- come quite active soon after the New York exchange resumes"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
A Terrific Din

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
 But for the war the human voice would have been thrown across the Atlantic by wireless this month" It is some conso- ietion for the disappointment to reflect that there is much on the other side just now we shouldn't care to hear.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
Hard to Prove

From the Gadsden Times News.
 We would like to know on what grounds certain republicans base the claim that President Woodrow Wilson is responsible for the low price of cotton. It would be extremely interesting to listen to the ver- bal gymnastics they would go through to prove their assertion.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
stiII Blaming Eve

From the Leighton News.
 When Eve packed Adams dinner pail with apple pie and sent him out to hunt job, it started all of us on the hard grind-the need to hustle-so we ask you to come in and renew your subscription and get three good magazines for S.S.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
MAROONED IN A CANYON verside. Cal. Dispatch in the New YoYl

Riverside, Cal, Dispatch in the New York
 Sun.
 After two days and two nights on Cuca- monga mountain, unable to find a way out of the almost inaccessible Cucamonga can yon, A. P. Campbell, city engineer and
 member of the county highway commis-
 sion; Avery Edwin Field, a photographer,
 and Miss Ada Singleton, secretary to Gen eral Manager Cox of the Public Utilities, were found by members of searching party from this city, assisted by forest rangers from Upland and North Cuca- monga. They reached home seemingly but little the worse for thei rexperience. The three Riversiders were members of party of Il which left here to climb Mount Cucamonga. They were behind the main party when the descent was started and darkness overlook them about half way down. Out of water and almost | out of food. they waited for daylight. l The next day they found their way into | Cucamonga canyon, where water was available, but once in they could not i get out again. finding themselves between
 the second and third falls. They finally 1 gave 1t up and camped by the stream for l the night. In the morning. with the fooc supply entirely exhausted they tried
 vainly to find an outlet up the steep can. 1 yon walls.
 At 10 o'clock they heard shots from the
 rifles of the rescuing party and were l finally reached by Forest Rangers Yutes | and Lee and William Nafzgar of the city engineering force. Refreshed by food they
 were then until o'clock getting out oi ! the mountains.
 searching party of 100 had been or. ganized by Mayor Ford and were read, to take up the search had the missing ones not been found.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
Nexy York State Election

Tn our state we have short campaigns shorter now than in former years-but they are full of excitement when they do start" said Richard s. Rathbone of Syra- cuse.
 T have been a voter nearly p years. In national politics l am a democrat, as a rule but in state elections I am some what of an independent. This year I am for Glynn for governor, for Gerard for United States senator and for our demo- cratic candidate for the House of Rep resentatives.
 Gerard will certainly be elected to suc- ceed Senator Root, and I believe Glynn will be elected to succeed himself In the governors office, At one time Whitman seemed to have the lead on Glynn, but the tide has turned. At least that is what many experienced politicians tell me"
 "Glynn is fine man in every way. He is making great governor, and he un- questionably deserves to be elected next week on his record.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28

The Birmingham Lyceum course for the season of 1si4-15 opens at the High school auditorium tonight. pr. Newell Dwight Hillis will be the attraction and the attendance will doubtless be very large. On November 1s Champ Clark will appear and he will be followed by many other celebrities
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
Right Sort of Man
pm the sulligent Standard.

From the Sulligent Standard.
 The man who believes in his ability to overcome obstacles is the last one to quit work and howl "hard times.'' The good business man has long ago learned the lesson that advertising and boosting will carry him through dull season.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28

From the Attalla Herald.
 We received communication recently o.l education. Half of the words were illegible and what we could make out were misspelled, so we consigned it to the waste basket.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28
MRS. coMEIATE.

Hubby"
 "Yes?"
 What time is it?" Tt Is time now for the curtain to be rising at the theatrep s1 "Ah Then have half an hour yet
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-10-28

According to a Petrograd correspond ent 300 Russian reservists have arrived there from Canada. Among them is a representative of the Doukhobors who has come to offer the services of his core ligionists to the Russian government as ambulance men. The Doukhobors left Russia for Canada about 15 years ago in order to escape military service, which is against their religious beliefs Numerous accounts of their customs and ideas have appeared in American newspapers. Their flight to Canada was made possible by Count Leo Tolstoy, who gave them the proceeds from his book, "The Resurrec- tion" The counts eldest daughter, Alex andria, and his son. File, are now serving in the Russian ambulance corps. Another interesting person in the Russian army is Mme Koulachef, well known as an explorer She Is attached to the intelli- sence department and is with the forces of General Rennenksmpff. She has with her the horse on which she rode from Vladvostok to Petrosrad. A number of boys ranging in age from 1s to 15 and belonging to the cadet corps of Pslloft have joined theri fathers at the front