Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-12-18
GOING TO MARKET
Automobile Smashes Wagon But
the Amateur Driver Comes
Out Winner.
BY DONALD ALLEN.

Good lands, but what is that!' ex-
claimed Aunt Minerva Johnson, as she
stood at the kitchen sink washing the
breakfast dishes.
1T must be Uncle Joe," replied her
niece, Miss Jennie Waldron, as she
stood wiping the said dishes.
Run to the door and see II the barn
has fallen on him."
Hes a,fghting wasps." replied the
girl as she looked out.
Il told him yesterday not TO med
die with their nests. but he's gone and
done it. What's he dom now7"
Running through the currant
bushes"
And now?"
Hes licked them of with hat,
but he's been stung."
Serves him right" and she went
to the door. Joseph Johnson. have
you been foolin' with them wasps?"
They pitched into me as / was
goin' to harness the hoss," was the
reply.
And have you been stung?"
He came to the steps and showed
three great Jumps on his face.
well, that settles It," walled the
wife, as she turned about and dropped
into a chair.
Miss Jennie got some vinegar for
Uncle Joe to apply to his stings. and
then returned TO the aunt.
II wouldn't feel so bad about It."
But ne was going to drive into the
village. and now he can't"
He can tomorrow"
But he was goin' TO take butter
and eggs and 'taters. and bring back
tea, sugar and coffee. We are out OF
all OF EN-
But we can get along"
"Drat the pesky luckt" exclaimed
the aunt as she fiourished the dish
cloth. Men you was to go, but |
run a tack into my foot and am hob
bling around like an old lame hen.
Now Joseph has got stung. and can't
go, and IL seems as II I never wanted
a cup of tea so bad In my life. He
ought to have his old ears boxed"
IF could drive a horse" began
Miss Jennie doubtfully.
Yes Say, believe you could.
Old Peter is as gentle as a lamb.
and he knows the way to town and
back as well as ] do. You simply
hold the lines and he viii go right
along. A baby could drive him"
But II meet team on the way?"
"You pull on the right hand line
and give half the road
And when we get there?s
"Oh. Somers, the storekeeper. win
come out and hitch Peter for you
and carry In the things. He viii also
see you started for home all right"
ut looks easy" said Miss Jennie
ITS easier than making a pie-crust.
You've been comm down here three
or four times a year for the last FIVE
years. and It's Gurus that we never
taught you to drive"
We'll, I'll learn now"
And you'll do fine. believe this
foot VIII be wen by the time drink
two cups OF tea"
Uncle Joe harnessed old Peter 10
the one-horse wagon. What he
thought OF the venture he didn't say,
He knew he should hear more from
his wife about those wasps. When
things were ready the horse started
of, at a Jog. and after the first mile
Miss Jennie had full confidence In
herself. In going a mile and half
she met two teams. She was some
what doubtful whether she should pull
on the right or the left line, and SO
she pulled neither, but let Peter jog
along in the middle OF the road. The
other two travellers hauled out into
the ditch and didn't say word.
Then The amateur driver heard an
auto coming up behind. She looked
back and saw that IT was young
man driving 1t. "7-s-.
Was It the right line she was to
pull In this case?
Or the left?
Or was she to increase Peters
speed, or to stop him dead still?
She didn't remember whether her
aunt had told her that an auto was
entitled to only half the road or all
outdoors. and her confusion was
heightened by the honking Of the
horn
Nothing at all was done on her
part, but the autoist thought there
was room to pass, and he tried 1t on.
Rip Smash! Crash,
A hind wheel Of the wagon was
torn off, and the girl and butter and
eggs and potatoes were rolled in the
dust Peter was turned around to
face the other way, but at his steady
old age he wasn't going to make mat
ters worse.
The autoist stopped his machine
within a few feet, and came running
back ut YVES all my fault, and Pm
awfully sorry!' Are you at all hurt?"
Aren't you very careless young
MANI asked Miss Jennie.
Il may be, but ! guess ! thought
you would give me little more OF
the road"
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