The Washington herald., 1914-03-06
Statesmen, Real and Near.
BY FREp q. KELLY.

speeches delivered In MS 20 campaign
were not delivered by him, but by two
newspapermen.
Bryan reached Erie. Pa. one night. ac-
companied by twenty-four writing men
who had been travelling with him on his
speaking tour. All were tired. The news
papermen had not slept for about thirty
hours. But there was a. convention In
town and the hotels were crowded.
The newspaper men. feeling desperate
for loss Of sleep. selected one Charles M.
Pepper to go to the hotel clerk and make
speech presenting their view OF the
situation. Pepper went and spoke as
follows:
You say your rooms are all occupied
That may be, but we simply have to
sleep. and We are going to have rooms.
II you can't dig us up sleeping places
we shall be compelled to find some our
selves. II they are occupied We shall
drive the guests out. There are twenty
four Of us and We are a husky lot. We
feel that We can overpower all the police
force In town. Understand. we do not
wish to be ugly about this thing, but we
intend to have a place to sleep. Kindly
see what you can do
Within three-quarters of an hour the
correspondents had twenty-four beds and
cots In large sample room on the sec
ond floor and were making themselves
comfortable.
Just as they were ready for bed. a dis
turbing sound arose-the sound OF several
men down on the sidewalk below in a
heated political argument. One declared
that 1t would be impossible to maintain
the PARTIES between gold and silver al
the ratio OF Is to l.
Win" Thomas. brother of Gus Thomas,
the playwright. went to the window in a
suit or japanese silk pajamas with lovely
flowers embroidered down the front.
When he mussed his hair up he looked
not unlike William Jennings Bryan, and
the crowd yelled
Thomas lifted his hand in a Bryan
like command for silence, and addressed
the multitude, saying:
You declare that We cannot maintain
the PARTIES between the metals at the
ratio OF is to !. / tell you that we can.
'Applause). We can do so without the
aid or consent OF any other nation.
'Cheersl. 1 don't know exactly how We
can do IL, but it can be done. Now then
having settled that. go home you night
prowling hoodlums, and let me get some
sleep. that ! may maintain the PARTIES
between slumber and wakefulness bid
you one and all goodnight
The most Chesterfeldian person about
the Capitol is Kennedy F. Rea. clerk to
the Senate Committee on Appropriations.
Besides being a man of handsome pres
ence and ingrstiating personality, he
mas never-failing fund Of courtesy on
tap for prince or pauper. and aIl-comers.
without pull and without price. And
Rea is courteous without stopping over
He doesn't go flying about scraping his
feet, begging pardon, saying After you, -
or any Of that stun. but simply in a
quiet. orderly. and unostentatious man.
ner operates. on a high-grade. dignified
basis Of I'VE strive to please"
This Is not paid advertisement for
Rea. but he would be worth about slO0 =
600 year TO the complaint department
of some big corporation. One wouldn't
have the heart TO kick about a gas OIL
for example, after talking it over with
Rea.
A Few mornings ago. an old colored
woman dropped into several Offices about
the Capitol on an errand that seemed
important to her. She had met up with
several professional crabs in her morning
travels before she went in to state her
wants TO Rea-
ing her head solemnly and muttering:
Cm-um-m! Such LOVELY gemp-
man. SUCH lovely gempman.'
Representative Denis O'Leary. of New
York. simply can't get himself accus-
TONED or hardened TO the amount OF time
devoted to talk in Congress.
Nearly every day he looks into the
chamber. shakes his head sadly, and
walks back to his office.
IF l were the Chaplain he remarked
one day, shortly after he first came 20
Congress. Il would quit PRAYING for the
members Of Congress and pray for the
country
Representative Cary. Of Wisconsin by
the way, has hit on a scheme to reduce
the amount Of talk in Congress.
MY plan" saws Cary. would he to
let each man talk fve minutes, any time
he can get the recognition of the chair.
and for each minute he talks beyond that
make him pay out OF his salary what II
costs the country to have Congress in
session-about sl2 a minute, ] believe il
is.
There would he one trouble" con-
cedes Cary. "and that is that a lot Of
members would go homa at the close
of a session fiat broke. leaving their
families in comparative want"
ana rlgnt IN tnat same connection. the
other day Representative A. W. Lafrerty
sat figuring with a pencil on a piece Of
paper.
Well. it's too much for me-" he re-
marked with yawn, after he had been
at his task some few minutes. Il never
was much OF hand at figures anyhow" :"
And what are you trying to figure -
was the next question
Il was trying to estimate" replied Laf-
ferty. how many FIR trees must be cut
down each year to make wood pulp to
make white paper to make the pages Of
the Congressional Record that Jim Mann
over yonder covers with language"
tCopsright. 1914. by Fred c. Kelly. All rizbt.
reseryedl