davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01
Sentence of Victor in Fisticuff to Treat His Vic
tim to Dinner, Moves the Idiot to Discuss
Progress in Making the Punishment Fit the
Crime-Old Rule of Eye for Eye Is Not Efec
tive in the Estimation of Modern Criminolo
gists, He Explains Kindness Is Means of Treat
ment-A Supposititious Case-Mnor Ofenses
and the Grading of Appropriate Penalties
The Doctor Passes Up" an Invitation.

either in cruelty or in kindness; in
pulling the offenders teeth out as the
ancients would have done on the prin-
ciple of tooth for an ear, and an eye
for a nose; or in devising some new
method whereby the offender will be-
come so heartily ashamed OF his act
that he will never want to repeat it
Half way measures irritate and do not
reform, and so we are now entering
Upon a new era wherein in penitential
matters rule of reason based upon
kindness is to prevail
Working along the lines you have
Just mentioned" queried the Biblio-
maniac. with a sarcastic curve to his
upper lip.
YES said the Idiot. 'and to the
vast betterment of mankind, Mr.. Bib.
Let us toxic some special cases and see
how beautifully it works. For instance,
a pranksome individual OF peppery tenn
por, having irnbibed somewhat too free
", quarrels with his bosom friend, and
being rather weak in the arts of intel
lectual repartee he falls pack upon
something more material, playfully
pulls a six-shooter from his hip-pocket,
and empties its contents into his
friends back. The party of the sec
ond part whirls around two or three
times. fops to the floor, and goes in
either for a frst-class funeral or for
long period OF convalescence Now I'M
der our old system if the victim has
chosen the funeral, rather than the So
journ at the hospital. the party of the
first par: after seven trials extending
over a period of ten years, Taking the
fortunes of thirty-cight lawyers and
nine hundred and siXty-twJ alicnists.
during which time he has been the
guest of the public at a cost If $4,000
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01

night long, and it has left me feeling
pretty dull and stupid this morning.
can only say that what / did / did
as joke. shot him just for fun, and
didn't suppose for a minute he'd take
it seriously
"'You are old enough BY this time
to have learned that you can't always
count on another mans sense of hu-
NOR, returns the Judge. I must say
that even ! don't think your joke was
a particularly good one
We'll, your Honor, the deceased
was friend of mine, and a; the worst
it was only a friendly assassination,
says the prisoner. Why, him and med
been chums for thirty years -.
Taking that view OF the case says
the Judge. we will proceed. The SEN
tence of this court is that. sailing on
Saturday next on the IMPERATOR.
you lake fhe wife. children, and mother
in-!aw of the deceased on six months
trip to Alsiers. Gibraltar. Naples. and
Alexandria. including four days
cruise up and down the Nile. and three
weeks i'll Palestine, returning via Rome,
Paris. and London
Or" continued the Idiot. in case
the victim OF the fracas RECEIVERS from
the murdcrous assault. the sentence
would be a trip to Bermuda for the
winter. the prisoner going along and
paving all expenses. including tips to
hell-boyS, porter>. government officials.
and such others as may need attention.
The results in either case would be
educating. harmonizing, prumotivc of
4 better feeling all around: and the Of
fender after he mad paid the bills
would undoubtedly think twice before
hs ever assassinatcd anybody again.
even as joke"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01

year, is finally taken off to some con-
venient point OF penitential departure
and either hanged by the neck. or tel
graphed into eternity by an official
Electrocutcr. In neither case is the
mar reformed. He is just got rid of,
and society fondly imagines that it
has cancelled one murder by itself COM
hitting another 1t IS cruel, ineffective,
but under the new mcthod-ah, there
we have at least taken step toward
the ideal The Jury returns a verdict
OF murder in. the first degree, and the
judge. after congratulating the Jurors
on their high intelligence, turns TO the
prisoner with cordial smile indicative
of sympathy and forgiveness. and sen
fences him to take the family of the
deceased off OH i six months trip to
the Mediterranean.
"'Prisoncr at the Bar says he. you
have had a trial unparalleled for its
fairness. On both sides the case has
been prosecuted with the highest de-
gree of legal acumen. You have re-
ceived the benefit OF every doubt, and
this Jury, made up unquestionably OF
your peers. all men OF supreme intel
ligcncc and discernment, HIS unani
mously found YOU guilty OF shooting
six dum-dum bullets into the corpus
OF your fricndl. resriting in his sud-
den dcceaSc 1t, therefore. becomes the
pleasant duty OF this court in pursuance
OF the law to pronounce sentence upon
you. Have you anything to say why
this sentence should not now be
pronounced"
II can't think of ANYTHING AT the
moment. Judge replies the prisoner.
Fact is your Honor. / didn't sleep we'll
last night. There was tango party
going on i'll the tier above mine all
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01
:old collation. served en- route.

cold collation. served en- route
For Obtaining Money Under False
Prctenses-Prisoner to give dinner az
DelSherrico's costing not less than ten
dollars cover to victim and family.
with motor ride around the park after
ward.
For Observation-Disclosures to give
Theater Party to whole Household. in
Guiding cook, butler. scullery-naid, and
chauffeur, a no: bird and a cold bottle
for everybody after the show.
For Losing Temper. and Kicking
Conductor OFF Trolley Car-Prisoncr
to take Conductor and Motormar. with
their wives and mother-in- laws tn
beefsteak diner at Coney Island. and
afterward loop-the-loop and bump-the-
bumps. with the ladies.
Il could 60 on this way forever
said the idiot, but what's the use:'
None" said the Doctor
Exactly" said the Idiot. Tho
scheme carries its own justification with
it. 1t is the most practical advance in
social Justice we've had in this country
since Thomas Jefferson first discovered
that All Americans are born free of
restraint. and equal to anything. They
used to say that the way to a mans
heart was through his stomach. Today
they realize that the way to his con-
science is through his pocket, and for
that reason | like this new method OF
making a man pay fer his transgres-
sions against another by blowing his
victim off. rathear than by himself go
ing to board for term OF years at
the expense of the State, unrepentant.
and. therefore, unreformcd. 1t will
make life just one glad treat after an
other"
Maybe said the Doctor. but I
doubt it. At least | shall reed a few
object lessons before am convinced"
"All right. Doc" said the Idiot, IF
that's all you want, We can start in
with an object lesson right now. I'll
show you Just how it works. Come
over here while | punch you in the
eye, and afterward to make up for it
I'll take YOU around the corner. blow
you to a mercury tablet and then buy
you and your Aunt ticket for the
movies"
But the Doctor was apparently not
willing to be convinced. He merely
''tured7 and left the room
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01

but in all probability compel him 10
disgorge whatever sums he had sue.
ceeded in hiding away, because trip
of that kind costs a good deal more
than &.32. And so the scheme would
run along. Various crimes would be
punished about this way:
Assault and Battery-Prisoner 10
take Plaintiff and Sisters to Charity
Ball and Supper afterward.
Pickpockets-Prisoner to escort ~
TINS wife and six daughters 10 a
The Dansantc. using taxi going and
coming. !.
Disorderly Conduct = Prisoner to
blow off Judge, jury, and Mother Of
Policeman who arrested him. to ten
mile ride on Sightseeing Coach, with
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01

Fine of sixty-nine dollars and
costsr put in the Lawyer.
Mary a mulct,' said fhe Idiot.
oh, l suppose it was some fool thing
like having his vermiform appendix cut
out and given to his old friend, gold
mounted. TO wear as a watch-charm,
said the Bibliomaniac.
You're a genius of a guesser, old
man." laughed the Idiot, nut it isn't
that either. You'll have to come again.
Any more
I'VE all give it up said the Lawyer,
speaking for the assembled guests.
Well" said the Idiot, the Judge
sentenced the offender to blow his vic
tim off to frst-class dinner, and then
to take the victim, and the victim
mother to 4 theater party afterward"
NO. cried the Doctor. incredulously.
Yep" said the Idiot, Here's the
whole story he added. taking a news
paper clipping from his pocket. You
can read it for yourself"
The Doctor. for the benefit of the
other guests read the following:
Z. SENTENCED TO ENTERTAIN.
Special to the whirah
CHICAGO, Jan. 3l-A feud between
Jacob Bimbo and Jacob Inski, sugar deal
ers. was settled today by Judge Ding
bats in an unusual way. Bimbo was
hailed into court to answer to a charge of
assault and battery on complaint of
Inski. 1t developed that Bimbo had at
tackled Inski, his business rival. striking
him in the face and kicking him in the
stomach. The Judge imposed a fine of
sleo and costs.
But we are old friends said Bimbo.
1T was just a friendly quarrel" Inski
nodded assent.
well. then. I'll change the sentence
to friendly one" said the Court
-Bimbo you are ordered by this court
as penalty for, your misbenavior to
take Inski and his mother to the theater,
and treat them to the best dinner you
can buy beforehand
well, l declare said the Doctor,
after he had finished reading the item.
Isn't that the limit"
Nope" said the Idiot. Its only a
beginning. There's brand new idea
of justice coming into vogue these days,
Doctor, and that most humane and sat-
;sfactory sentence is part and parcel of
the reformed system. The old-time
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01

Peers of Auricular arson in the third
degree, it has been found that ten
year service as Editor-in-Chief of the
Sing Sing Outlook or the Joliet indie
pendent, or the Moyamensing Christian
Advocate is no assurance that when he
gets out of prison he won't go right
back and chew the other fellows other
ear off the first chance he gets. The
only real cure for such criminal ten
dencies lies in either one OF two wide
ly divergent methods of treatment
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01

Fine scheme!' sneered the BibHo-
maniac, scornfully.
Isn't it!' said the Idiot, enthusiast
cally. Then for minor offcnses pun
ishments could be graded accordingly.
For instance, suppose a man got mad
at his landlord and burned his house
down. being subsequently found guilty
of arson. The punishment for that
would be TO compel the offender to
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01

cruel and inhuman punishments we used
to mete out to offenders are soon to
come to an end. Society is beginning
to discover that the ancient penalties,
while they may punish, do not really
reform; and that reformation does not
necessarily follow csstigation. II one
chap chews off another fellows ear,
and is found guilty by a jury OF his
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-02-01
7ze
~
fCopyrirht. leil.l


CT SEE" said the Idiot, with smile
/ of satisfaction as he slipped the
last waffle onto his own plate just as the
Bibliomaniac was reaching out for it.
"that Judge in one of the Chicago
Police Courts has Just sentenced man
who in a quarrel with an old friend
beat the old friend mp toll give you
forty-seven guesses, and bet you six
apples against an income tax blank that
you'll never guess wiiat!"
Ten days in JAIL suggested the
Poet.
Nope" said the Iliot.
Thirty days in the workhouse," sug-
gested the Doctor.
Mix" said the Idiot.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1914-04-11
sleep Disturbing BLADDER WEAKNESS
BACFkIAl(CEEIIE RHEUMATISM, QUICKLY Vanish

the blood, and drive it out of the
system.
So sure, SO positive, so quick and
lasting, are the results obtained from
the use of Croxone, that three doses
day for a few days are often ali
that is required to cure the worst
case of backachc, regulate the most
annoying bladd Z disorders, and over
come the numerous other similar
conditions.
1t is the most wonderful prcpara-
ton ever made for the purpose. 1t
is entirely different from all other
remedies. There is nothing else on
earth to compare with it. 1t is so
prepared that it is practically impos-
sibIe to take it into the human sys-
ten without results.
You can obtain an original package
of Croxone at trifling cost from any
frst-ciass drug store. All druggists
are authorized to personally return
the purchase price if Croxone fails to
give desired results, regardless Of
how old you are, how long you have
suffered, or what else has failed to
cure you.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1914-04-11
Even Most Chronic Sufferers
Find Relief After A Few
Doses Are Taken

Backache, urinary disorders, and
rheumatism, are caused from weak,
inactive kidneys, which fail to filter
out the impurities and keep the blood
pure. and the only way on earth to
permanently and positively cure such
troubles, is to remove the cause.
The new discovery, Croxone, cures
such conditions because it reaches
the very roots OF the disease. 1t
coaks right into the stopped up, in
active kidneys, through the walls and
Innings; cleans out the little fltering
cells and glands; neutralizes and dis
.olvcss the poisonous uric acid sub
stances that lodge in the joints and
muscles to scratch and irritate and
cause rheumatism; it neutralizes the
urine so it 10 longer irritates the
tender membranes Of the bladder,
and cleans out and strengthens the
stopped up, lifelcss kidneys so they
lifeg and sift all the pcisons from
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1914-04-11
LEGAL ADVERTISEMENTS.
SALE oE,A r.

Under an order from the court Of
ordinary of Glynn county, Georgia,
granted a the February term, 1914,
the undersigned will sell at public
cutlery, to the highest. and best bid
der, for cash between the legal hours
Ct sale, on the first Tuesday in May,
1914, before the court house door of
said county, the following tracts of
land situate in King City on Big st.
Slmons Island. in said county, to say:
ta) That tract fronting north on
Butler street and running back south
wardly, between Mallory street on the
east and a twenty-foot lane on the
west, distance of fifty (5O) feet, and
having the shape shown upon the map
of King City, recorded in Book XXX
page 593, of the records of said coun
ty.
tb) That tFact fronting east on
Mallory street fifty (5O) feet and run
ming back west ninety (90) feet tc
said lane and lying fifty (5O) feet
north of Butler avenue, as shown and
identified upon said map
And also the following tract of
land situate on said island outside
of King City: that tract containing
two acres, more or less, and bounded
north by the Primus Nelson tract, east
by the Robert Merchant tract, south
by lands of Judge Gould. and west
by the PUBLIC road from north end
to south end. \,--
For further description or each OF
said pieces of reale estate reference
Is had to the petition for leave to
sell ON which said order was grant
cd, now of file in said court.
This April 8, 1914.
ALFRED WOOD,
Administrator upon the estate of John
l.. Mitchell, deceased,
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1914-04-11
PETITION TO AMEND CHARTER.

GEORGlA--Glynn County.
TO the Superior Court OF Said Sounty:
The petition of James 5. Wright
Company respectfully shows:
/. That 1t is o corporation charter
cd by said court upon the first day OF
.Septembers-49e9r-as viii fully appear
by reference TO the record thereof in
said court.
2. That your petitioner desires TO
amend its charter SO granted to ii as
follows: Petitioner desires the power
to Increase its capital stock at any
time in any amount not exceeding the
sum of one hundred thousand ($l00,-
0O0) dollars, by majority vote Of tho
then existing stock of the company,
and similarly to decrease the same
but not below the original capital
stock of twenty-five thousand ($25,
000) dollars.
3. Whereas petitioner prays that
this petition be granted and said
amendment made as prayed for, by
order of said court.
A. ]. CROVATT,
Petitioners Attorney
Filed in Office this March II, 1914.
ii. f. 1u BIGEON,
Clerk Superior Court, Glynn County,
Georgia.
GEORGlA--Glynn County.
do hereby certify that the above
is true and correct transcript Of the
petition to amend charter Of James s
Wright Company, filed in my Office on
this date.
In testimony whereof ! have here
unto set my official signature and aiIix-
hereon my seal OF office, on this the
18th day of March, 1914.
Ii. i. du BIGNON,
Clerk, Superior Court, Giyan COUNTY,
Georgia.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1914-04-11

Also at the Same time and place,
that certain lot or parcel OF land Iy-
ing and being In the City of Bruins
wick, County and State aforesaid, and
known and described saor the. plan
of said city as follows, to-wit:
The lease hold interest in and 10
northwest 10 of Town Commons lot
No. 113, between Lee and Gordon
streets, il the city Of Brunswick, Ga,
and improvements thereon.
Levied On as the property OF
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1914-04-11

Also at the same timo and place,
that certain lot or parcel of land ~.
ing and being in the City of Pruns-
wick, County and State aforesaid, and
known and described on the plan
of said city as follows, to-wii /:
Southeast l-6 OF Town Commons lot
No. So between Amherst and Coch
ran streets in the city of Brunswick
Georgia.
Levied on as tho property OF
Peter Mccoy, under and by virtue OF
a tax fl ia issued by II. J. Read, Tan
Collector, against said PetefAaM cCuy
for taxes due the said State and
County for the year 1913. Taxes
$6.S7 and costs.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1914-04-11

Also at the same time and place
that certain lot or parcel ofland ly
ing and being in the City Of Bruins
wick, County and State aforesaid, and
known and described ~ the plan
OF said city az follows, to-wit:
Southwest 1-6 of Town Commons lot
No. 8, between Cochran and Stonewall
streets, in the city of Brunswick, Ga.
Levied On as the property OF
Ralph Myers, under and by virtue OF
tax fl ia issued by II. J. Read, Tax
Collector, against said Ralph Myers,
for taxes due the said state and Coun-
ty for the year 1913. Taxts, 1910 and
costs.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1914-04-11

Also at the same time and place,
that certain lot or parcel OF land ly-
ing and being in the City of Bruins.
wick, County and State aforesaid. and
known and described on the plan
OF said city as follows. to-wit:
Northern 2-3 OF Dixville lot No. 3,
vest of Leo, between George and Lon
don, in the city of Brunswick, Ga.
Levied on as the property of
VIM. l.. James, under and by virtue of
tax fl ia issued by H. J. Read, Tax
Collector, against said VIM. L James,
for taxes due the said State and Coun.
ty for the year 1913. Taxes, $3.50 and
costs
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1914-04-11

Also at the same time and place,
that certain lot or parcel of land ly.
ing and being in the City OF Bruins.
wick, County and State aforesaid, and
known and described on the plan
OF said city as follows, to-wit:
The northeast 1s6y of Old Town lot
No. 1854, in the city of Brunswick, Ga
Levied on as the property ot
b. l.. Jordan, under and by virtue of
a tax fl ia issued by II. ]. Read, Tax
Collector, against said b. l.. Jordan
for taxes due the said state and Coun
ty for the year 1913 Taxes, s15.G6 and
costs.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1914-04-11

Also at the same time and place
that certain lot or parcel of land Iy.
Ing and being in the City Of Bruins.
wick, County and State aforesaid, anu
known and described en- the plan
of said city as follows, to-wit /:
Lease hold interest in and to the
northeast 10 of Town Commons lot
No. Al between Cochran and Stone.
wall streets, in the city of Brunswick,
Georgia.
Levied on as the property Of
Eva Simmons, under and by virtue Of
tax fl ia issued by II. J. Read, Tax
Collector, against said Eva Simmons,
for taxes due the said State and Coun-
ty for the year 1913. Taxes, $685. and
costs.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1914-04-11

Also at the same tlm1 and place,
ing and being in the City of Bruns
wick, County and State arcrcsajt, ;nd
known and described OF. the PLATA
of said city as follow tc-wI
Evansville lot No. in the city OF
Brunswick Georgia
Levied on as the property of
Oscar McCauley under and by virtue
of tax II ia issued by II. j. Read,
Cauley for taxes due the said State
land County for the year 1918. Taxes,
$756 and costs.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1914-04-11

Also at the same time and place,
that certain lot or parcel OF land ~
ing and being in thu City of Bruins
wick, County and State aICIesaid, and
known and described on the plan
of said city as follows, to-wit:
The northeast IA of Town Commons
lot No. 129, between Stonewall. and
Lee streets, in the city of Brunswick,
Georgia.
Levied On as the property nf
c. H. Mcclure, under and by virtue
of a tax fl ia issued by II. J. Read,
Tax Collector, against said G. II. Nc.
Clure for taxts due the said State and
County for the year 1913. Taxes, 500
and costs.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1914-04-11

win be sold before the court house
door of Glynn county, Ga, during the
legal hours of sale on the first Tues
day in May, next, the following de
scribed property, to wit: That certain
lot or parcel Of land situate, lying
and being in the city Of Brunswick
and known and described on The map
or plan Of said city, as the Western
one-fourth CT New Town let No 2457.
Levied on as the property Of Matt l..
White under and by virtue OF a tax
fl ia issued by II. J. Read, Tax CoE
lector against Matt /. White, in favor
Ct the State and County for taxes due
by the said Matt l. White for the
year 1913. Amount Of taxes and cost,
sl5.33.
WIN. H. BERRIE, Sheriff.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1914-04-11

Also at the same time and place
that certain lot or parcel OF land ~.
ing and being in the City of Bruins
wick, County and State aforesaid, and
known and described on the plan
of said city as follows, to-wit /:
The northeast 1-G of Town Com
mons lot No. 125 between Lee and
Gordon streets, in the city of Bruins
wick, Georgia.
Levied On as the property OF
Clara Sinnerall, under and by virtue
Of a tax fl ia issued by H. ]. Read,
Tax Collector, against said Clara Sin
nerall, for taxes due the said State
and County for the year 1918. Taxes,
S5.S7 and costs.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1914-04-11

Also at the samo time and place,
that certain lot or parcel OF land ly.
-ng and being in the City of Bruins
wick, County and State aforesaid, and
known and described on the plan
of said city as follows, to-wit:
The northeast 1-6 of Town Commons
lot No. 5, between Stonewall and Lee
streets, in the city of Brunswick, Ga.
Levied on as the property \
Paul Raney. under and by virtue of a
tax fl ia ssued by II. J. Reed, Tax Col
lector, against said Paul Raney for
taxes due the said State ana County
for the year 1913. Taxes, 1884 and
costs.
The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1914-04-11

Also at the same time and place,
that certain lot or parcel of land ly-
ing and being in the City Of Bruins,
wick, County and State aforesaid, and
known and described on the plan
Of said city as follows, to-wit {:
The northeast Is Of Town Gem.
mons lot No. 95 between Cochran and
5toncwall streets, in the city of Bruins
wick, Georgia.
Levied on as the property OF
Matte J. Sellers, under and by virtue
Of tax fl ia issued by II. j. Read
Tax Collector, against Said Matte J
Sellers, for taxes due the said State
and County for the year 1913. Take
1914 and costs.