The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1914-01-16

folks I'd take it easy if l was you;
| your face is as red as paint, and you
are breathing as if cider barrel had
rolled over you
The deacon thought of shotguns and
bowie knives and rawhides as he
turned to the oxen again; but he got
a grip on himself and suavely and
blandly argued the case until Buck
and Bright" concluded to lengthen
out that furrow. Their attitude was
all humility as they dragged the plow
to the spot and nothing indicated a
strike for shorter hours as they start
| ed off. They had wandered along for
| a distance of Is feet and three or four
! riches, and the deacon was saying to
| himself that he who controlled his
own temper was greater than the Jaw
bone Of an ass, when there was a
third rush. This time it was straight
ahead and the full length of the gar
| den. and as the plowman sought to
keep fast hold he was flung this way
and that, and finally found himself
tangled up with an old strawberry
bed.
Now, by the horn spoon of the
horned jackass, but this is too much
too much!" he shouted as he scram-
bled up and found a club.
rs it thunder after all, deacon?"
sweetly inquired the widow, as she
appeared in the kitchen door.
Yes, it's thunder and lightning,
too," he almost shouted, as he moist
ened his hands to get a grip on the
club.
what is it-what are you going
to do?"
The deacon didn't answer. He
wanted all his breath for what was
about to happen. He gripped the club
and made for the oxen, and for ten
minutes there was a circus in town
with free admission. He pounded and
swatted and batted, and as the club
rose and fell he brought out reserve
stock of the English language to take
the cake over anything Farmer john
son had ever thought of.
Deacon Shortwell, l wouldn't a.
believed it, not if the minister had
told me so himself"
'I don't care durn whether you
would or !",he hoarsely replied.
ooh, you don't, eh? Well, you've
let the cat out of the bag at last.
Deacon, you are a cruel-hearted man.
and you swear like pirate. 1 can
never, never marry such man."
Nobody has asked you to. Durn
their hides. but I'd like to murder
'emi''
more cruelty! More cussing!
thought there might be something
hidden under that soft, sleek way of
yours. Oxen ain't exactly women, and
wives amt exactly oxen, but a man
who will cuss and pound his oxen will
naturally"
''Mebbe you'd like to try 'em your
self" interrupted the deacon, as a
brilliant thought came to him.
81 would have never driven oxen
in my life, but I know can do bet
tern you Gimme the CAD. Now.
then. haw Buck-gee Bright. See
there! AS soon as they find out that
nobody is going to break their ribs
or cuss them blind they are as docile
as cats. You hold the plow and I'll
drive"
Five minutes later the furrow had
been extended four feet more, and the
plow point was getting ready to rip
up the soil in the good old way when
the oxen f1ourished their tails and
bolted The deacon went whirling at
y;of of nj h1Jf
widow was game, and she raced along
with the boilers and put the whip
over their noses. She might possibly
have stopped them before they got
over the county line but for an acci-
dent Oxen and woman struck and
overturned a beehive in their mad
career, and the 10000 bees loafing
around came up to the scratch In the
promptest and most cheerful manner
The deacon witnessed the beginning
of the scrap. and even waited until
stray bee had lifted his heels off the
ground for humanitys sake. but then
he fed. and it was two days later
that he knew that the widow bad 81
humps on her body and was doing as
We1l DIS CUulu Dt SApottCo' cio Hhh'
the oxen had been heard of 40 miles
away and still on the run.
Deacon" began the widow, as he
made his appearance in response to
her message, 81 believe you cussed
them oxen the other day"
"I-I guess I did" he rather sheep
ishly replied
But it was for yourself, deacon.
now wish you to cuss 'em FOR me
You also dubbed 'em until you was
tired out Can't you club 'em some
more?"
"And you ain't-ain't mad ct me?"
he asked. as a look of relief came to
his face.
La. no-not a mite"
"And I amt crueI-hearted nar
hypocrite and a pirate?"
"No. deacon. On the colfrra.y, you
are one of the best men en- earth, or
will be after you have bought them
oxen and peeled their pesky hides
off"
"And about-about--?" stammered
the deacon.
About our getting married? Well,
Samuel, you can fix the date to suit
Yourself and l will be there"
Copyright, 1913 by the Mcclure News
paper Syndicate)