davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1914-03-27

tinction Of being the leanest man In
the state Of Kansas that he was ono
day walking along a street in Kan
a City. when he noticed that .
hound dog was following him.
After he had gone a block and the
dog was still trailing dim, he turned
to q street gamin and asked: boy.
what do YOU suppose chat dog is fol-
lowing me for?"
"Well. mister" said the boy. as be
looked the Judge over from head to
foot. = dunno exactly. hut my ideo
- that he takes yon for . bone.~
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1914-03-27
Its Definition.

She tansrily)-What was that
noise I heard in the hall?
he (candidly)-I guess it was the
day breaking.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1914-03-27
Gclootha.

The one spot which more than any
other has controlled the history OF
Europe lies. strangely enough, not in
Europe itself, but in Asia. For the
possession Of the site where Christ
suffered, was buried and rose again"
more blood has been shed than for
any other. An immense number of
lives were laid down during the Cru
sades: and for COO years before the
Crusades, and even to the present
time, a constant stream of pilgrims
has poured into Jerusalem to worship
at the spot made sacred by the cruci-
fixion of Christ.
From the fourth century after
Christ until fifty years ago this site
was generally conceded to be within
the Church OF the Holy Sepulchre.
Now two sites dispute the claim OF
being the actual Golgotha. The latter
claimant is known as "Gordon's Cal
vary" though to an American. DR..
Harlan p. Beach Of Yale university. is
due the actual discovery of it. Gen.
Gordon, the hero Of Khartoum, having
first secured for it general recogni
tion.-Christian Herald.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1914-03-27

Once In a great while you will NEE,
q woman strongminded enough to ad-
init that her shoes are too small.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1914-03-27

Doctor ~. that Cough-Dean's Meptho
iated Cough Drops are 9 sure relief for a
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1914-03-27

Why blame . doctor for thinkin.
Ill OF his patients?
The evening world., 1914-09-10

6ers Cssserss. employed On the Oonsy
Island ocean font, reported to the police
that he had bcsn assaulted By several
men In West sixteenth street, near
where the dead man was picked up. He
suffered a severe scalp wound and pos
sibly q fracture Of the skull.
The evening world., 1914-09-10
GERARD WILL RUN, But
STICK TO HIS POST

BERLIN. Sept. . tvia London, Sept.
1W.-Jamss. W. Gerard. the American
Ambassador to Germany. received
several kilograms to-day asking per-
mission TO launch his candidacy for
the United States senatorship from
New York State.
The Ambassador II inclined 20 a.
sent. but only on condition that his
candidacy does not involve his return
TO New York TO make . campaign. as
he does not wish TO leevs his post
here during the crisis.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-06-28
A Public Welfare Movement.

Excellent results are possible II the
clubwomen Of Washington carry out the
program that has been outlined by the
president of the local federation as a
means of promoting sociability in this
District. With 10000 women at work in
behalf Of child welfare, temperance and
wholesome entertainment, progress must
be made, even though legislation may be
required to put some of their projects
into execution. Incidentally. these club
women are. it is stated. to work for equal
suffrage. an object in which not all Of
the community is concerned. It is to be
hoped that these two phases Of the work
will be kept distinct, so that no preju-
dice may prevail against the general well
fare endeavors on the part of those who
do not subscribe to the suffrage doctrine.
One of the definite objects In view IS
the opening Of the schools as social CEN
tiers, where the young people can be en-
tertained with motion pictures, dancing,
lectures and other wholesome amuse-
ments. This is designed as counter In
f1uence against the undesirable modes Of
entertainment now open to young people,
constituting virtually their sole means of
diversion. The proposition to open the
schools as social centers has come near
to realization on two or three occasions
in the last year or so, but there is still
lacking the positive authority for a sys-
tenn Of such utilization of the great school
plant. 1t is lamentable to see the school
buildings standing idle so large a part of
the time when they might be employed
continuously for the public benefit If
the federated clubwomen of the District
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-06-28
Automobile Thieves.

Motor car thieves have been busy in
Washington for some time past. giving
the owners of automobiles infinite trouble
and adding heavily to the burdens Of the
police Some young men have been
rounded up on suspicion of engaging in
this practice. and are now awaiting con-
sideration OF their cases by the grand
jury. This is a good start toward break
ing up what appears to be a systematic
business of borrowing cars left tempo
rarily unsuarded and using them for wild
rides through the nearby country. usu-
ally with the theft Of tools and accesso-
ries, ard often serious damage to the
machines.
The stealing OF a motor car is very like
the theft of horse. The thief. makes
his escape on his loot, and so is dificult
Of capture. So strong a prejudice pre-
walls against this form OF crime that in
the frontier sections of the country. where
the distances are great and law admins
tration is crude. immediate execution is
regarded as the only suitable punishment
In the more settled parts Of the land.
however. motor car stealing has been
considered Father lightly by the courts
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-06-28
Departmental Retirement.

Senator Jones of Washington has argued
for the passage of a bill to grant gov
eminent pension Of 500 a month to a
clerk in the Naval Observatory who is
now eighty-seven years of age and has
spent sixty-six years in the service. In
his argument the senator acknowledged
that he knew there was a prejudice
against establishing a civil pension list.
but that Congress could well afford to act
in this particular case.
AS matter of fact, the government
cannot afford to do otherwise than make
some provision for all of its veteran en-
ployes 1t is allowing the prejudice, So
called, against civil retirement to prevent
it from protecting itself and insuring a
systematic and humane separation of the
superannuated from the departmental
service. 1t is confronting itself with the
alternative of cruelty dismissing the elder
clerks when they have passed their years
of usefulness or retaining them in service
at reduced salaries when they are no
longer able to maintain average efficiency.
But the government should not under
take piecemeal pensioning if 1t Is not dis
posed to grant retirement to all. To put
any individual upon a civil pension roll
may be entirely justified on the merits OF
the case. but this tends to create spe.
cially favored class. Only those who car
command congressional interest and In
fuence can secure this sort Of old age
provision. 1t should come to all as a
matter of right and Justice. regardless OF
their influences and friendships and quite
apart from sentiment and sympathy.
Every argument advanced by Senator
Jones in behalf of the proposed beneficiary
of the bill he is advocating applies to
every veteran government clerk 1t is
an argument that appeals to sound bust
ness sense as well as to considerations OF
humanity. No warrant is found for In
action on this important question in the
supposed hostility of the farmers or any
other class Of voters against a civil pen
sion system. The matter should be re-
garded strictly from the point of view OF
the governments needs and the necessity
of running its business upon a liberal
progressive basis, with fair treatment fol
all its workers
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-06-28

unit! recently. when the wide prevalence
Of this despicable form Of theft has
caused public sentiment to demand q more
severe penalty.
There is no difference in principle be-
tween the taking of motor for 10y
ride and Its absolute theft for profit.
Probably most of the car stealings in
Washington have been of the former
order. but the loss and annoyance to own
ers are not to be modified by the recovery
of the cars in circumstances to suggest
that the thieves have been merely "hav-
Ing good time" Back OF such an action
is a wanton disregard for the law OF
property. and severe lessons must be
taught some of these young men to cause
them to realize that any tampering with
the goods of other people is dangerous.
In these initial cases. if guilt is proved.
mere suspension of sentences would not
meet the requirements of the situation.
Examples must be made of the thieves to
demonstrate that the courts are prepared
to enforce the law against stealing in any
form.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-06-28
Local Men for Local Offices.

A bill placing the Office of recorder Of
deeds and that Of register of wills under
the District Commissioners. and requir-
ing that the incumbents Of those offices
shall before appointment be bona fide
citizens Of the District for at least
three years. is now before the Senate,
and Its author. Senator Smith of Georgia.
declares that he will urge its passage
vigorously. 1t Is most meritorfous
measure in respect to the principle of
providing an eligibility clause In the law
governing these offices
Nobody but washingtonian should
Be made recorder of deeds or register
Of wills. Nobody but a Washingtonian
!s qualified properly to perform these
duties The ofilces deal directly with the
properties and interests of the Wash
inston people. and their hestowal as
political spoils is a gross violation of the
home rule principle for which both
political parties have declared from time
20 time emphatically.
Senator Smiths bill places these two
positions on a parity and brings them
under the direct Jurisdiction of the Dis
trict Commissioners. The people of the
district are not SO much concerned as &c
the manner OF their appointment as they
are In the matter of their qualifications
as Washingtonians. Whether named by
the President or by the Commissioners
Soth the register and the recorder should
be specifically required to be Distric,
men.
The bill as drawn specifies that these
ofices shall be filled BY men who have
bean bona fide residents of the District
for at least three years prior to their ap,
pointment- 1t might be advisable to add
to the proposed qualification the words
which apply to the Office of civilian Com
missioner. namely. that the appointed
shall not have claimed residence else
where than in the District during those
three years. In the light of certain re.
cent happenings il is well, in under.
taking TO insure the filling Of local Offices
BY .Ccsl men. to state the eligibility pro
vision of the law in the most explicit
terms
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-06-28
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF POCKETS.

To prove how undeveloped is the growing urchin's
mind
Turn out a small boys pockets. and these treas
ures you Will find:
A top, six rusty shingle nails. a hank Of dirty
string,
snake 5defunct) q railroad spike. a battered
napkin ring,
broken file. a rubber ball, some bits of broken
rock,
And sundry scattered remnants of shattered
barn door lock.
To prove that lovely woman is deficient in the
Turn out her leather handbag which is likely to
contain:
Cancelled transfer. 80 cents. some frazzed
squares of silk.
fragment of a recipe for sterilizing milk
A pointless pencil. seven stamps, some powder
A shopping list, some scissors and a manicurins
bun.
To prove that mans q creature of tremendous
intellect
Go through his clothes some morning and you'll
readily collect:
A dry and useless fountain pen. knife that will
Some .scribbled dates. paper book entitled
How to Putt"
-Four keys to locks long gone to rust. five crum-
pied dollar bills,
A box OF sticky cough drops and six numbered
billiard pills.
Pittsburgh Post,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-06-28
The Bull Moose and the Tariff.

Chairman HinebauEh of the bull moose
congressional campaign committee an
nounces an energetic fight for Connecti-
cut. The tariff will be the issue. Voters
will be reminded of the failure of the
republicans in 1909 to revise the tariff
downward as promised
Says Mr.. Hinebaugh in an interview:
Under the leadership of Aldrich the
republicans made a miserable failure
and did not redeem their promise to the
people. AS a result large part of the
republican states sent democratic con-
sressmen to Washington in 1870
In introducing Mr.. Aldrich into the
equation. Mr.. Hinebaugh does not quote
sufficiently from the record The Rhode
Islander was very active and in
huential man in the matter of the tariff
before 1909. In fact. his activity and
influence caused the inactivity of the
republican party on tariff revision for the
whole eight years-the length of two
presidential terns-between 1901 and 1909
But for him the Dingley law would have
been revised in time to prevent the COM
plications and difficulties which existed
when revision finally was undertaken.
1t so happens. too. that the national
leader of the bull moose party-then the
leader of the republican party-occupied
the White House the whole of that time.
1t was through him Mr.. Aldrich acted
Mr.. Roosevelt had promised upon taking
ONCE to carry out Mr.. Mckinley's poll
cies. the principal one of which was tariff
revision In his last public utterance
Mr. Mckinley had pointed out the neces-
sity for. and had urged, new tariff
schedules to meet the prosperous con-
dftons which the Dingley law had pro-
duced.
In obedience to his promise. and rec
ognizing the public sentiment that ex-
listed. Mr. Roosevelt in an annual mes
sage announced an early recommends
ton On the subject. But before the mes
sage was sent to Congress the para
graph relating to the tariff was stricken
out. and Mr.. Roosevelt did not again
take up the subject In any way. He
did not again even promise action and
then cancel the promise. He simply let
the tariff slide.
In the gossip of that day-widely cir
culated and accepted-Mr. Aldrich was
credited with influencing Mr. Roosevelt
In the business. He was a tariff author
tty the republican leader of the Senate.
a frequent caller at the White House.
and an adviser on party matters in
general
The long suit Of the bull moose party
Is not tariff revision. When trusts are
mentioned Mr.. Roosevelt has a record
OF activity with good results When
the Panama canal Is mentioned he
has a still more distinguished record.
OF which he and his friends have reason
to be proud. But when the tariff is men,
toned there Is nothing on the books to
show that he ever heard of the subject.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-06-28

! success while occupying 1t made him
| the republican candidate for Vice
| President in 1900. and his election TIC
the latter office ushered him in time
| through a deplornble tragedy into the
White House.
| Mr.. Roosevelt does not want to De
Governor of New York again, but he
does want to be President again. His
whole heart is set on returning to the
great national Office which he held for
nearly eight years.
The task before these Roosevelt men,
therefore, is to convince him that his
road to Washington leads again
through Albany. If they can accom-
plish that he will yield his wishes to
theirs.
But they have a mans job before
them They are dealing with poll
tician who is canny far beyond the
ordinary, Mr.. Roosevelt is familiar
with New York from a service OF
thirty-fve years spent in office. city.
state and national. He started as an
assemblyman. and he reached the
presidency Between 1880. when he
was elected to the assembly. and 1901.
when he became President, he was civil
sioner, assistant secretary of the navy.
Governor of New York and Vice Presi-
dent of the United States. Both In To-
cal and in national service. therefore.
Mr. Roosevelt has had an unusual OPP
portunity to study the politics and the
politicians of his native state.
Conditions in New York approach the
chaotic The democrats are both d.
vided and discouraged. The republic
ans, although much heartened by the
plight of their opponents. are yet
somewhat leaderless. The bull moos-
ers are divided over the part Mr..
Roosevelt should play. And William
Randolph Hearst is debating with him
self the advisability of putting a
fourth party in the field and leading
it himself.
The issues today are local-Tammany
control and inefficiency. But II Mr..
Roosevelt accepts a nomination for
governor the overshadowing issue then
will be national, and 1t will be this:
Shall Mr.. Roosevelt be elected gov
ernor. with his real objective the presi-
dency? Shall the New York state con-
test of this year be maneuver for
1915? That will give the campaign a
twist difficult for all parties. and de-
flying predictions. And that Is giving
even as bold an operator as Mr.. Roose-
welt pause.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-06-28
Local Pride,

We've got banner ball club down to
Pohick-on-the-Crick.
There's not an aggregation 1t amt quail
fed to lick.
Bill Jubbs of Punkintown, he is the can
tain of our team,
And Hiram Boggs from SnagvilIe as a
pitcher is a dream.
We brought a star from Oshkosh and a
wiz from Kokomo.
There isn't any limit to how far the
ball can go
When they take up the bat. You ought
to see 'em run and slide
When Loyalty appeain' to our sense of
local pride.
We've gathered in from far and near full
many a stalwart chap.
Pohick's the good old town that put 'em
on the base ball map.
Some OF them used to come with rival
teams in days gone by.
And try to beat our players. 1t was fun
to see 'em try.
We rally round and cheer cause we
know they are the stun
That heroes should be made of, brave an
strong. but not too rough.
They're favorite sons. though not BY
birth. Adoption did the trick,
And, win or lose. they're solid here al
Pohick- on -the-Cfick.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-06-28
JUNE WEATHER.

From the Charleston News and Courier.
If the campaign isn't getting hot its
the only thing in these parts that isn't.
From the Philadelphia Evening Telegraph.
BY the way. what has become of the
good old story about the polar bear at
the Zoo that they used to print every time
the temperature got UP around 100?
From the Syracuse Post-Standard.
It's a bit tough on humans, but con-
sole yourself with the assurance that it's
great for the crops.
From the st. Louis Republic
What We cannot understand is that
when the weather bureau predicts show
ers they fail to appear. but when that
same bureau forecasts a hot wave II
always arrives on time.
From the Chicago News
June always witnesses the revival of
the feud between the girl who tans and
the girl who freckles.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-06-28
Cornell Third!

The victory of Columbia in the uni
versfty boat races at Poughkeepsie
comes as a welcome variation of the
familiar announcement, Cornell wins
For years the lads from the Ithacan
hilltop have swept the Hudson. tax
ing nearly everything in sight. with
so few exceptions that as a speculative
proposition the regatta was confined in
public interest to the relative positions
of the following crews. Now comes a
crew that not only distances the Cor
nellians. but pulls another eight in
between. leaving the Ithacans third in
race that was in advance virtually
unanimously awarded to them. Are
the young men of Cornell losing that
wonderful wind" that the daily climb
ing of the big hill Is supposed to de-
velop? Or is Courtney losing his Prov
ess of direction and development as the
years accumulate upon his head?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-06-28
THE BIG CROPS.

From the Hutchinson tkan9 Gazette
The democratic administrator was
blamed for the drought that made short
corn crop last year by the s REPUBLICAN al
1850 on the part of the same editors
to give the democratic administration
credit for the record breaking wheat crop.
From the Milwaukee Journal.
That Kansas town where every one mad
IN turn out to get the crops in is almost
too busy to do much talking about de-
preston, or even to listen TO IT,
erom the Norfolk Ledger Dispatch.
The predicted bumper crop OF grapes is
M doubt a vindication of the juice policy.
From the New Orleans Times-Picayune.
1t may be interesting to note in passing
that ..Kclly's army when last heard
from, was steadily increasing the distance
separating It from the Kansas wheat
fields.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-06-28
The New York State Race

Friends and foes alike win watch
with interest the effort to induce Mr..
Roosevelt to head the bull moose state
ticket in New York this year. He does
not want to do so. or so says. But
many of his home supporters think he
owes II to the bull moose cause. local
and national, to take the lead and give
the cause there at this important time
the full benefit of his personality. As
they appraise the situation, he would
certainly be elected. and his success
would pave the way for his nomina ton
for President two years hence.
Mr.. Roosevelt hesitates. He has en-
Joyed the honor Of filling the Office of
governor. and he filed 1t well. His
success In reaching the place and his
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-06-28
LAMBASTINC LORIMER.

From the st. Joseph News Press.
Billy Lorimer seems destined to hard
luck. Expelled from the Senate because
there was too much money in his cam
paign, he is again in trouble because
there is too little money in his banks.
From the Milwaukee Sentinel.
Billy Lorimer was fitted for a street
car conductor, his calling. Then he bios
somed as a ward political heller. but he
has not shown real fitness for anything
else.
From the Buffalo Express
No: Loriner can't now be a candidate
for the republican nomination for United
States senator from Illinois. but there ID
still chance that he may get the demo-
Gratis or the progressives to take him up.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-06-28
THE COLONEL'S THROAT.

From the Jacksonville Times Union.
Wonder If that lame larynx is also
psychological?
From the Memphis Commercial-Appeal.
We wish they'd publish the picture of
the doctor who told T. r. to stop talk
ing for three months. Some grit in
that mans craw.
From tho Grand Rapids News.
The colonel recovered his voice suf-
ficiently to say that he would not run
for governor. and doubtless he has still
strength enough to call somebody u liar
II necessary.
From the Brooklyn Eagle.
A defective larnyx will not prevent a
man from shaking his head.