Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1914-04-30
Corporal Suds."

COlOnel IN command OI tHc TlSulihs
Seventh" Cavalry, was known TO the
rank and file of his regiment as "Old
Bull" His gruff manners may have had
something to do with the nickname, but
it came TO him fairly by inheritance. His
father, the General Sumner of Civil War
renown, bore il before him.
While the Seventh was stationed al
Fort Grant, Arizona. very raw recruit
was sent on from Kansas City. As usual
the men persecuted him from the start.
He returned meekly from the ordnance
stores with the information that "left-
handed ramrods" were all gone; without
batting an eyelaSh, he reported that the
sergeant in charge OF the post exchange
swore at him when he applied for his
"butter checks" They took his last two
bits away from him in the canteen in
some hocuspocus game. After supper
he was "blanket-tosSed" until the arms
of the tosSers grew weary; and three
times that night his bunk collapsed,
amidst roars OF merriment. The recruit
then gave up the struggle, and lay shiver-
ing upon the floor until morning.
He neither murmured nor complained.
In fact, he seemed TO be so unSophiSti-
Gated that when he asked his room cor
poral where he could have some washing
done, the corporal. with jerk of his
thumo, indicated the commanding Off
GERS house on the corner OF the parade.
"Go over to that big house," The corpo-
raj directed. Take your bundle with
you, and ask for Old Bull. He takes in
all the washing at this post"
Grasping his little bundle, the green
lad from Kansas City shambled across
the parade, mounted the colonePs front
stoop, and innocently pulled the doorbell.
The joke was an old one, as OLD Bull
had never been known 10 answer the
bell in person, and more than one recruit
had learned the way 10 "SoapsudS Row"
after tongue laShing from the comman-
dantS dusky maid of all work. And as
she had threatened TO scald The next man
who bothered her about his washing, the
tip was passed along from troop to troop,
and the men swarmed out on the veran-
daS TO see the fun.
But just as the recruit pulled the bell,
who should step out but Old Bull him.
self, booted and spuued for his morning
ride.
"What do you want here.2" he thun-
dered, surprised TO see an enlisted man
at his front door.
T-l-l wanted TO see about getiin'
these sh shirts and socks done up,
minister" stammered the frightened re-
cruit. "They told me TO come over here
and ask for Old Bull, he added.
"Well, I'm old Bull - roared the
colonel. "You come along with me and
point out the man that sent YOU over
here" he went on, as he grasped the
astonished youth and hurried him toward
the troop quarters.
The crowds upon the verandss melted
away as Colonel Sumner approached, but
the guilty corporal was found lurking in
the troop barber shop. Some heated
language ensued, and then, at the end OF
the painful interview, Old Bull delivered
himself thus:
Corporal, ought to have you court
martialedl could have your stripes
taken away, and see that you got about
thirty days into the bargain. Or ! could
have you fined. But you've been one OF
my best noncoms. You're always sober,
and a good shot, ard so I'm not going to
take your chevrons, your liberty, or your
money away rom you. But since you're
such an expert on laundry matters, or
der you to do this mans washing on the
front porch Of these quarters every Mon
day morning at guard mount.
And you" he beloved, turning 10
the recruit and shaking his gauntlets at
him, you see that you have at least two
suits OF undercIothes and seven pairs OF
socks for him every week And il he
doesn't wash 'em clean-you report to
Old Bull, that's MEl"
And thereafter for several months, until
a band of Tonic Basin Apaches went on
a rampage and gave them more serious
things 10 think about, the men OF the
Seventh looked forward happily TO Mon
day morning guard mount. The nom
commissioned laundryman became known
as Corporal Suds, 'and was teased about
the affair until the day piece OF Spanish
shrapnel cut short his existence.