davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

My dear Reginald, now that you've
left college, you must really begin
looking for some sort of employment"
But don't you think, mother. it
would be more dignified to wait till
the offers begin coming in ?"-Life.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

Mrs Noowed-"Oh, John, our cook
is going to leave us in the morning!"
Mr.. Noowed-"What makes you think
so?" why she's been sitting on the
kitchen floor with a bottle in her
hand, singing. And when 1 asked her
what was the matter, she threw the
bottle at me and said, I'VE won't go
home until morning" Washington
Herald
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

Il have been reared in the lap Of
luxury" exclaimed the heiress haught-
lily, Try mine for a change" sug-
gested the impecunious young man.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

Bobbie (who has been sent over for
the fifth time to find out how MT--
Brown is)-"All right, ma; she's
dead. Baltimore American.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

Bill-"Do you believe it is possible
for a person to be talked to death?"
Jill-Sure! Don't you know that the
average woman is said to live two
years longer than the average MANI?
-Yonkers Statesman
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

zone hundred and nine degrees at
Radcliffe was the headline that
greeted Mr.. Fallguy's eye. Great
Caesars ghost" he exclaimed. How
can people live in a town like that?"
Buffalo Express.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

"Jiggs says he has the greatest re
spect for your judgment" He ought
to have I advised him to marry
Mrs. Jiggs. Buffalo Express.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

A Frenchman says he can read a
mans character by his hair. If the
man is bald, is he therefore without
character Dispatch.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

do you suffer with the heat in SUM
mer?" yes, indeed, more than In any
other on."-Baltimor American.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

Henry Watterson calls Mrs. Pank-
hurst "old Hell's Delight" We don't
think that even He'll would be de-
lighted with her-Tampa Tribune
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

Employer-"Want more pay? Why,
only hired you last week." Office
Boy-"Yes, but it costs me more to
live now! used to let my mother cut
my hair fore got this job. b.'-Chieage
News.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

Skirts are to be fuller and thicker,
the fashion experts say, but we fear 1t
has come too late to prevent race
of popeyed men.-Little Rock Gazette.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

Hot in Florida! Well, l suppose it
is; we have to raise few alligators
for the tourist and trunk trade.
Florida Times-Union
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

They say celery il splendid thing
il you require Sleep" Not in my
case. I have to get up at O'Clock Linn
the morning to take it to market
Union Transcript.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

Colonel Roosevelt, the well-known
explorer, intimates that as a. dinner
dish the monkey leaves more than
much to be desired, even when the
need Of food il great. We can under
stand the aversion. 1t is unpleasant
enough to be obliged to eat ones con-
temporaries; the notion Of eating
ones ancestors is ever more repel-
lant-Chicago Tribune.
Why does Hiram dig around so
among those old Chaldean records 2"
He wants to get something on the
weather bureau. He opines they pre-
dicted drouth the day before the flood
started. ed."-Louisville COurier-Journal
Miss Sentimental-"Man is so
changeable." Miss Bilton-"Yes, dear.
Before marriage he talks to you about
his heart Afterward, it's his stom-
ach he talks about."-Puck.
Give the true American the daily
newspaper and piece OF pie and he
will make himself at home anywhere
on earth.-Chicago News.
It's lucky lion tanner who isn't
sooner or later eaten by his pets; a
million years of heredity outweighs a
few months of training.-Springfield
Republican.
Mexico City in its lofty plain is the
favorite health resort Of Villas sol
diers, but they have not vet fixed up
on their precise vacation dates.-New
York World.
1t Is fine to have bumper crop Of
alfalfa too. 1t is true, we don't eat
alfalfa, but the creatures we eat will
eat it, which is much the same thing.
Plain Dealer.
PA, what is militant suffragette?''
"a militant suffragette, son, il a wo-
man who wants to vote 80 badly that
she forgets the powder On her nose"
Birmingham Age-Herald.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

What il you gineter do, now you
done los you job?" II specks I'LL 90
into de chicken business" rs talkin'
bout work. | amt akin you bout
yoh pleasures Washington Star.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

The Pastors Wife-"What peculiar
eyes young Ashley has. They always
seem half-closed" The Pastor-"Yes,
he has me guessing. I'm inclined to
think he sleeps all through my ser
mons-but I can't catch him at it,
Cleveland Plain-Dealer.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

Boss Man-"You spend all the
money you get for clothes. Why don't
you put something away for rainy
day?" Bill Clerk-"Oh, that's all
right. I've got the dandiest $40 rain
coat you ever saw."-Chicago News.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

Before we were married my wife
swallowed everything ] said" How
is it now?' Now she often makes
me eat my own rds"-Boston Tran
script.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

"A magazine writer says that kiss
on the forehead denotes rverence. We
might add that kiss on the ear de-
notes that the girl is an artful dodg
City Times.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

Mrs. Exe-"Can't afford to let me
go to the seashore? Why not? Ny
board there wouldn't cost much more
than it does here" Exe-"I admit
that, my love; but think of all the
money Id have to spend entertaining
myself I'm your absence Boston
Transcript
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

Pa, what is militant suffragette?"
"a militant suffragette, son, il a wo-
man who wants to vote 20 badly that
she forgets the powder On her nose"
Birmingham Age-Herald.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

Silas (the hired man)-"Gosh, boss
It's not much fun with the theF
mometer 102 in the shaded" Farme
Haystack (from the piazza)-"WAa
yer dern fool What's that to you
You're not going to work In tn
shade. Life
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03

The postmaster at Medicine Lodge,
Kan, is named U. C. Herr. Sounds as
if he were named after silhouette
gown.-Manchester Union.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-07-03
PERSONALS

MIR. Andrew IL. Eichorn, of Balti-
more, was in this city on Saturday.
Mrs. William ri. Grumbine, Hamp-
stead, Is visiting her brother, J. Clarke
Abbott, at Laurel, Del
World's cresset. [volume] (JAH-ville [Colony], Fowler, Mo.) 1891-19??, 1914-04-16
vo xii Brushyknob Mo- Thursday, April 18TH 1914 NO.

u
coin. but today We arc holding
them UP to the people Under tire
new name Progressive Party.
(Appiaus} Now gentle men what
VIC want, is. to 'aise up rom
under the down troden heel OF
poperyiSm, those beloved pr in :
cip:e> once lov-d and supported
and >et forth in the shedding Of
the blood of over a half million
men with .hp exceptions of 4
very few tnlngs ike high tariff
and sucn like, u tina beee1it Of
the advanced d a Of the .raIne
IF .t,.>a s,v Then 60 d bye
0 t;,+' ,s>umed name sRepub.
nc Patty # today also called
STAND PAT ~ ~hame 30 the
mar, t'.a' Ia d. tha work Of the
l. I'd or TO, tue people coldlys So
with ,he h,nest pride Of boncst
men, let stalk fourth into the
very bait =. and c'N a"ud and
spare Ipt Do. with ~4tned
thugs and up Tith the Law OF
justice, in every nook and Corner
of the United States. Aud let
right prevail in every depart
mrnt OF life
Raise up again tire DOOR labor
or and farmer to their deserved
position and honor For it Is
true gentlemen--If we let tnis
thing die )ut now. IT will prove
that We We're not sincere 1t will
prove that W. only started out
ior notori' ty. But this was mo-
tho cause. ~
-" Our cause was Il noble cause,
just Cause, a caus for lh- grea
mass of the people and, and he
csuse,f right. So we must no
set down, we must fight for th'
common people and for right uu
| til our sun of life sets fOreva
, on earth. So lets us be up AM
a doiLg now"
World's cresset. [volume] (JAH-ville [Colony], Fowler, Mo.) 1891-19??, 1914-04-16
y
A Good Order.

The Odd, Fellow Order, is oae
of the bpst orders on earth, the
creates fault to Odd. llowship
TODAY is that there has crept n
unawares, men who do not re,
gard their obligations to their
Fellow man bus use all their life
to the upbuilding OF self to the
detrament and downfall of their
fellow man.
Aud we can only say, that we
are more than sorry fur such
things. The Roman Catholic her'
achv, has and does oppose those
Noble Principals. We wish to
say to our fellow.man that Odd
Fellowship was and il opposed
by that powor.
Tbs Ca,hol c CHureh would love
to distroy those Grand Principals
of "Fr,endshio Love Truth
Bun we. as true lovers of TIT
prsnclpa of tne Good Samaritan
must put on a renewal Of a det.
termination to see the day when
as brothers. We vii, regard the
covenant az Jopatnon and David
did and help car teIiowmaa as
did the Ge'"d SA i'a"a'an' 10 TIE
bleeding and dying GAn Wig Lad
fell, among b'e7as.
World's cresset. [volume] (JAH-ville [Colony], Fowler, Mo.) 1891-19??, 1914-04-16
HOPE HELD OUT FOR
BRANCH IN PORTLAND
San Francisco Only Cost City
Selected, Owing To Lack VI
Capital.

Washington, April 3.-Strong
criticism from everywhere over
the selection OF two Missouri
cities among the II sites for
regional reserve banks under
the new currency law poured IN
here today. The organization
committee, after ehrse months OF
work, yesterday divided the
country into 12'districts and &C.
lected - cities where govern
ment reserve banks are to be
located under the new law. Tbe
cities selt cted are New YORK,
philadelphia, Boston, Cleveland
Richmond, Atlant7, Chicago, St
Louis, Kansas City, Dallas, Mn
neapolis and San Francisco.
The nam ing of both St Louis
andKansas City as regional hanh
cities drew sharp criticism. II
was openly charged that Kansas
City was chosen through the
;nflsen,e of Senator Reed ane
Stone Of Missouri and Senator
Owen Of Okiohoma. Many con
b 1re.smen and senators also in
sisted that Denver aad Omah'
we're discriminated against
Oregon Journal.
World's cresset. [volume] (JAH-ville [Colony], Fowler, Mo.) 1891-19??, 1914-04-16
WELL, DONE.

The Progressive meeting
appointed at this place was il ter
!esting from first to last On the
account OF the rain, few attended
lit out side the Colony But taey
are all Progressivc>, AID they
Can have "a good meeting most
|any time. Address by Rev. L. S
Garrett,
"Ladies and gentlemen and
fellow C,tizan. We appear be
fore you this after noon, 20 ad'
dress you on. he all im,o auc i,
OF our II. w party as she stand,
bsfore the world trday, The
peoples party the Progressive
Party. A party that almost
sprang up no. in day But
just in few hours over five
million strong (AppIaus> Al the
republican convention in 1912 al
iChicago. We cannot, in the voice
Iof eight say today the "rtpubli'
car" convention. 1t would not
be right, whan we look back to
tho days of Abraha Lincoln,
who you might say was the
father of the name 'Repuh|ican'
1{Appaus) But those Principles
advocated by Lincoln in his day
1.-The same Principles ON hracad
lin THIS THEN "Rppubhcar
}Party" was thrown t"the gtou"e
land ,rampled upon by those wbt
fhad control of the "R.puh'ica1
Iparty" at the Iast'so called Rs
publican" convention at Chicago
tin 1912. tA paus) Whi" w
ishall fly eur c'ors u'der N
iname of the Prngre~ ~iv Pa ~
we have not forsak-n one spa'E
| of the good Principles advocated
by ths republican party unde
the leadership of Abraham Lin
World's cresset. [volume] (JAH-ville [Colony], Fowler, Mo.) 1891-19??, 1914-04-16
MISSOURI MUST STAND
FOR PROGRESSION

Down here ia the hills Of the
Did Ozarks, a small territory OF
land called old Douglas Go.
not long ago at Ava the Go. seat
gathered there large number
Of Progressives. And they set
forth resolutions, that old Doug,
las Co., should show up In the
great line of Progressiveness.
And put forth men who would
redeem the pledges made to the
people Of this County by the
Progressive party in 1919. 81
we shall, be found at all times
ba thing at the door of right un
til we see the people living unde1
their rights. We are now upo'
the Geld uf battle, for The indie
pendenc., of this great Country
paop'e, That is we are warinI
for the rights of labor -Agains
sue e,al priviledge of the rich.
You can read of all the war
IL YOU like, this is a bread war,
war demanding for the lahore
Better living conditions, a faire
World's cresset. [volume] (JAH-ville [Colony], Fowler, Mo.) 1891-19??, 1914-04-16
WHO RULES THIS COUThY.

1t looks a little like poparism
does it not. At Denver Colo. On
,he5th. Of this month. 1t Is assert.
ed that Rev. g tia T. Spu geon
q protestant n,nlsse vaa iind
cred from preaching. A mob oY
60 Romans Catil ,Iics al so el1as
went 70 the Hote), forced their
way to Suergeons room dragging
ulm, to a. waiting Automobile,
and escaped with him and he has
not yet been heard off Great
anxiety is feared for Spurgeon,
End. Champlain MINI. Rsv.
F.. n. Dancy under took to de-.
liver d lecture and was mobed by
a Roman Catholic moo.
3ra. W. II Bol4s A, minister
of the Christian Church was de-
Iiverinx q lecture a. Spingfnll'
TN. Just befo Q he llth aid A
| Catholic mob broke ia on him
and waylayed him and he had tl
call for Poliece protection.
q American Patriots what dc
out think OF this for free, press
and free speach il Is high timf
: for all who love freedom to pond
4 er these things over. For W.
r have told the people this fac
), 20 years ago. =
World's cresset. [volume] (JAH-ville [Colony], Fowler, Mo.) 1891-19??, 1914-04-16

ana a more even chance, ia tEG
human struggle, read all toe Ills
tory you like, and you will nos
end on record another war like
this. Antagonizs this war II
you like, the Progressive party
will move op you cannot stop it.
Take on the simple fact, Of
stopping the stars. il their
courses And you miEt;;s "aA
say I'll move mountains,
The Progressive party il Ia
line with tie religion IT tle
stars. b. against 1t II you will,
Yet this party like the stars.
will 90 right on. Stop it you can
not, So we say to all Douglas
County Patriots come foreward
and send men into the faeld to
| win, and never give up until
we stand under the blue arch Of
Liberty and Equality both with
men and women, and then OLD
i Douglas can saw that they have
something to boast Of,
World's cresset. [volume] (JAH-ville [Colony], Fowler, Mo.) 1891-19??, 1914-04-16
NOTICE, Saw: Mill Men


We hove Sixteen Horse po Jumbo Engine tine trim
and good vi to da Saw rig SALE Engne worth SH0
Saw rio 500 $1,000 in ALL Can 1nssht IT, s'2no 900
down the rest to suit Purchaser A'J Separator ct ,a
best A Colorado Special Call f
Brushyknob Mo. The Colony Trustees.
World's cresset. [volume] (JAH-ville [Colony], Fowler, Mo.) 1891-19??, 1914-04-16

Entercd as seco"d c'o~
matter November 3rd 1910 at
the p0st-o6ce at Rrushykpob
Mo. Mnder ill.,, Act ct
March 2Ft. 1873.
The CREssET has been run.
ming at different other places
and Post Offices before this
date.
World's cresset. [volume] (JAH-ville [Colony], Fowler, Mo.) 1891-19??, 1914-04-16
SUBSCRIPTIONS

MExlcANS still in terror and
blood shed,. Rehals gaining
ground over the Federals.
World's cresset. [volume] (JAH-ville [Colony], Fowler, Mo.) 1891-19??, 1914-04-16
WOpIn'c Tprg GIT
Rev. l.. S. GARRETT, ED.

PUBLlSl IFRS,
n. G. Garrett. NJ. NJ. bowers
World's cresset. [volume] (JAH-ville [Colony], Fowler, Mo.) 1891-19??, 1914-04-16
aEsERuE c|7Ms NAMED
CHOICES DISAPPOINTING,

MUCH CRITICISM AT WASH
1NGTQN OVER SELECTION
OF TWO MISSOURI CITIES
AMONG THE ONES TO HAVE
BANK.
World's cresset. [volume] (JAH-ville [Colony], Fowler, Mo.) 1891-19??, 1914-04-16

Published Every Thursday
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1914-12-03

cry and there is good sugar orchard.
$3.50; good comfortable modern well paint
ed house, with barn and large garden in
village on railroad and with good school,
$1,000. These are not exceptional bar
gains for the list could be continued in
definitely. The back towns OF New Eng
land have become depopulated owing to
the attractions Of the great cities and
the cheap land in the West which Is now
exhausted and over capitalized. There
are no more delightful places in the world
to live in than In our little New Eng
land communities, healthy. clean and
mainly well kept with village, church.
school and library. OF course there are
not the excitements of the city, the the
aters, the museums. the noise. the con-
fusion and the dissipation, but for re-
tired business men, teachers, preachers,
lawyers, editors and others Of small
means from the cities who wish to pass
their later years in peace and quietness
with books. gardening fruit culture. etc,
these little village homes offer advan-
tages not surpassed anywhere in the
world, while the farms are calling for
energetic men who have tired Of the
slavery and hopelessnese OF the cities
where every dollar is spent before 1t Ia
earned and existence is dependent on pre-
carious wages which stop at every time
| of depression.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1914-12-03
THE HUMAN ELEMENT IN ECONOM-
&c PROBLEMS.

Vermont enjoys the signal honor of
being represented in the presidency Of
the American Society Of Mechanical En-
glneers by James Hartness Of Springfield,
whom Governor Fletcher has Just APP
pointed TO the Vermont State board of
ducation and who has added prestige
o our state through the noteworthy adj
lress he delivered at the opening of the
annual meeting Of that body in New
York city Tuesday evening.
The character Of this able address is
indicated by the title, THE Human
Element in Economic Problems" and
the keynote thereof is that the engineer,
being first Of all a director OF men, must
study the human factor as well as the
science of mechanism, II he is to direct
men successfully. He must not only
know the human being as an animated
physical structure, but also as a per-
eonality. AS no two men carry away
with them the same group Of impress
sons, so 1t is desirable to enable men to
gain the most desirable kind of knowl-
edge.
Mr.. HARNESS holds that the law Of
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1914-12-03
AN UNPOPULAR MEASURE.

Stamp taxes are never popular whether |
imposed as real or fancied war taxes"
1t is safe to say, therefore, that Presi- |
dent Wilson's war tax imposed in time Of
American peace is the most unpopular I
move of his administration and this
measure alone, long continued, will suf
fee in and of itself to defeat him for
reelection.
This tax which has just taken effect,
is not only a tax involving value but
an absolute inconvenience. and your
average American reSents anything that
persistently interferes with his comfort.
For instance, if he wants to talk over
the telephone, or send a telegraphic mes
sage or sond articles by express or
freight. or buy a steamship ticket. or
give a promissory note, or sell mer-
chandse or real estate, he must pay
tax, and for the present it is worth more
than the cost involved to take the
trouble to find out whether he is break
ing the law.
II you pay for seat in parlor car
or berth in a sleeping car, the tax Is
one cent, supposedly to be paid by the
company The tax for a foreign steam
ship ticket costing between 80 and $50
is 81. with an exemption for all tickets
below $40. while tickets costing between
$50 and $50 are taxed SO, and all above
$50 are taxed s.. Protests Of bills, notes
of exchange, acceptance. check or draft
are taxed twenty-five cents, as are pow
ers of attorney to sell or handle real
estate or sell or transfer stocks bonds,
etc. Deeds and other papers Of convey
ence are taxed five cents for all values
over 800 and not exceeding $500, with
fifty cents for each additional $500 or
fraction thereof. Bonds or certificates Of
Indebtedness or certificates of stocks are
taxed five cents, and sales or agreements
to sell and so on two cents. Promissory
notes for a sum not exceeding 500 are
taxed two cents with two cents for each
additional 800 or fraction thereof Bills
Of lading are taxed one cent and bonds
except those required in legal proceedings
five cents.
The situation growing out Of the failure
Of the department to provide war tag
stamps for Burlington. has naturally
given the system poor start here; and
It is to be taken for granted that similar
bitches may also have occurred in other
communities With this poor start the
discomfort growing out Of the burden in
volved in securing and affixing these
stamps will naturally grow in intensity.
The chances are that the ending Of the
war in Europe will not be a signal for
the removal of these taxes inasmuch as
the general government will need revenue
to make up for the mistakes our demo-
cratic friends made in revising the tariff
100 far downward.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1914-12-03
VERMONT CUSTOMS CHANGES.

(F'rOm the BrattleDOrO he1OTmeT.)
Vermont was formerly one district; but
when the late Senator Redfield Proctor
was In the heyday of his power DIN Mer-
rill, who had been chairman Of the State
republican committee in the campaign In
which the record-brealdng majority was
rolled up, and Zophar Mansur OF Island
Pond, a Civil War veteran who had serv-
| ed in the Legislature and as lieutenant
governor, were candidates for the same
office, Senator Proctor and his colleagues
in spirit Of harmonizing all interests,
succeeded in having Vermont divided in
| to two customs districts, and Merrill was
made collector at Burlington and Mansur
at Newport. At that these offices yield
ed large revenue in the way of fees, and
the holders could garner $4,000 to $4,000.
or perhaps more, each year Merrill and
Mansur waXed fat financially for eight
years, then they were asked to take their
| feet out Of the trough, and Charles H..
| Darling Of Bennington was appointed to
the berth at Burlington and Curtis En-
| cry to the one at Newport. Darling was
not supported by politicians, but had
been In Washington as assistant seCre-
| tary of the navy, and Theodore Roosevelt,
then president, realizing that Darling
| needed money, gave him the softest snap
open to any Nermonter. Since then the
| fees which made the offices lucrative
have been eliminated. and recently each
collector has been on something like q
$4,000 per annum basis Another impor-
tant change is IN making st. Adams the
department headquarters instead of Bur
| 1ngton. St Adams is much nearer the
| border than the Queen City, and Is on
| the main line of the Central Vermont
railroad but there Is already a costly
customs house at Burlington, and this
naturally will be abandoned, II. how
ever, the work can be conducted more
efficiently from st. Adams than from
burlington, 1t is only sensible to make
the change. regardless of the office equip
ment now existing