davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17

to use all her influence with the people
she knows" she went on. $50 l am
going to ask you not to let your coun-
try ever go to war against mine while
you are chief Of staff
Mine against yours?" he equivo-
Gated why, you live almost within
gunshot of the line! Your people have
as much Gray as Brown blood in their
veins. Your country! My country!
Isn't that patriotism ?"
Patriotism, but not martial patriot
ISM" she corrected him. "My thought
is to stop war for both countries as
war, regardless of sides. Promise me
that you will not permit it,"
Il not permit it," He smiled with
the kindly patronage of great man
who sees charming woman founder
ing in an attempt at logic. ut is for
the premier to say. merely make the
machine ready. The government saye
the word that makes it move. l able
to stop war! Come, comet"
But you can-yes, you can with a
world" she declared positively.
How" he asked, amazed. Howe"
he repeated blandly.
Was she teasing him? he wondered.
What new resources Of confusion had
ten years and tour around the world
developed in her? Was it possible that
the whole idea of the teachers of peace
was an invention to make conversa-
ton at his expense? IF so, she carried
it off with a sincerity that suggested
other depths yet unsounded.
VERY easily" she answered. you
can tell the premier that you cannot
win Tell him that you will break your
army to pieces against the Browns
Notifications"
He gasped. Then an inner voice
prompted him that the cue was
comedy.
Excellent fooling- excellent" he
said with a laugh. Tell the premier
that 1 should lose when I have five
million men to their three million!
What a harlequin chief of staff ]
should be! Excellent fooling! You al
most had mel"
Again he laughed. though in The
fashion of one who had hardly u, bent
his spine, while he was wishing for
the old days when he might t.k:s tea
with her one or two afternoons d week.
It would be a fine tonic after lis isola-
ton at the apex Of the pyramid sur
veyiTg the Difference of the lower
Levels. Then he saw that her eyes,
shilnmering with rvonder. grew dull
and her lips parted IN a rigid, pale line
as If she were hurt
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17

First Page Story with a picture Of the
Remains being sorted out from the
Debris, most of the Spectators gasped
and felt their Toes curling inside of
their Shoes, but WHEY never batted
an Eye
With only one little Strand of Wire
or perchance Steering Knuckle
standing between her and lot of In
surance Money she retained both her
Aplomb and the Lorgnette.
How can you bear to watch it,"
asked Lady Friend, who was heaVing
perceptibly.
Listen" replied the Good Woman
For many Shows l have been sitting
on the Side Lines watching the Dear
Boy take Desperate Chances. To be-
gin with, he married into Our Family
| Once, at Asbury Park, he acted as
Judge at a Baby Show. Later he put
a lot of Money into Bank, the Presi-
dent Of which wore Throat Whiskers
and was opposed to Sunday Base Ball
He has played Golf on Public Links,
hunted Deer during the Open Season
in the Adirondacks and essayed the
Role of Claude Melnotte in Amateur
Theatricals. Once he attended a Clam
Bake and took everything that was
Passed. At another time he made a
Speech when the Alumni celebrated a
Foot Ball Victory. Frequently he goes
Shopping with me- Last year he acted
as Angel for a Musical Comedy The
Driver of our Car is a Frenchman
And don't overlook the Fact that for
Six Years he has been Stock Broker.
He may fall at any Moment, but if he
does he will pick out Haystack on
the way down"
MORAL-The Wright Brothers were
not the first to be Up in the Air.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17
FABLES
IN
SLANG
-sz-.z.>---s---s-<z----z>
81
GEORGE
ABE
coyelcR- % GeopcE ADS

To relieve the embarrassing Situa
ton, the Host gave a Sign and the
Menials came running with the Third
Course, tempting array of Frog Sad
dies.
"A Frog is a Reptile" said the
Hoosier, backing away from the Table
I've heard they were Et, but / never
believed it. I can go out any Morning
and gather Carload"
The next Serving was Breast of
Guinea Hen with Mushrooms under
Glass on the Side.
on my Farm I've got a lot of these
Things" " said the Guest, poking at the
Guinea Hen timidly with his Fork
I'VE use them as Alarm Clocks, but
I'd just as soon eat Turkey Buzzard .
How about the Mushrooms?
Eight People in our Township were
poisoned this Summer from foolin'
with that Truck. My pastures speckled
with EN-, but we never pick em.
Most of them are ToadstooIs. l tried
a Real One once at a K. P. Banquet.
1t tasted a good deal like a Rubber
Glove"
The only remaining item before Das-
sert was tempting Salad of Water
Cress.
The Guest identified it as something
that grew in the Crick below the
Spring and was commonly classified as
Grass.
Perhaps you had better order for
Yourself" said the Host, as the lowly
Water Cress followed the others into
the Discard.
The Guest motioned the Waiter to
come close and said: q want a nice
Oyster Stew and some Sparkling Bur
gundy"
MORAI-A Delicacy is Something
not raised in the same County.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17

We got the appropriation 1or an &C.
ditional army corps this year" be -
planned contentedly, his repose com
/ pletely regained.
Thus increasing the odds against
US. But perhaps not; for we are deal
| ing with the children not with re-
cruits, as 1 said. We call ourselves
the teachers Of peace. organized the
/ first class in La Tir. | have the chill
/ dren come together every Sunday
morning and / tell them about the chill
I Gren that live in other countries. /
! tell them that child a thousand miles
away is just as much neighbor as
/ the one across the street At first :
/ feared that they would find ii uninter
esting. But if you know how to talk
| to them they don't"
Naturally they don't, when you talk
to them he interrupted.
| She was so intent that she passed
| over the compliment with a gesture
like that Of brushing away a cobweb.
Her eyes were like deep, clear wells
/ of faith and purpose.
! Il try to make the children Of other
! countries so interesting that our chill
/ dren will like them too well ever to
| want to kill them when they grow up.
| We have little peace prayer-they
have even come to like to recite it-a
! prayer and an oath. But III not bother
you with it. Other women have taken
/ up the idea. l have found a girl who
/ is going to start a class on your side
in South La Tir, and l came here tc
! meet some women who want to in
augurate the movement in your CAPT.
| tai"
I'll have to see about that" he re
| Joined, half-banteringly, haIf-threaten-
| ingly.
There is something else to come,
even more irritating" she said, less
| intently and smiling. $50 please be
prepared to hold your temper"
Il shall not beat my fist on the table
| defending war as you did defending
| peace!" he retaliated with significant
enjoyment
But she used his retort for an open
| ing.
ooh, I'd rather you would do that
than jest! It's human. It's going to
war because one is angry. You would
! go to war as matter Of cold reason. -
IF otherwise, should lose" he re
piled.
Exactly. You make it easy for me
to approach my point. I want to pre-
vent you from losing!" she announced
cheerfulIy yet very seriously.
Yes? Proceed. I brace myself
against an explosion of indignation!"
! ''It is the duty of a teacher of peace
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17
IN CLOUD OF DRAGON FLIES
Remarkable Experience in the China
Sea Which Sailor Admits He Is
Unable to Explain.

Hurrying north from Hongkong to-
ward Shanghai, in 1853, Admiral, then
lieutenant, Fitzgeralds ship had a Pc
culiar experience, which he describes
in Memories of the Sea-" The winds
were very light and battling, with a
great deal Of calm. and they made lit
tie Roadway.
One afternoon when we were lying
at anchor out of sight of land, the
weather being very close and sultry,
we saw great cloud approaching the
ship from the direction of the shore,
which was about fifty miles off. The
cloud came slowly nearer and nearer.
1t did not look like rain, and presently,
as it enveloped the ship, we found it
was composed of dragon flies. No,
they were not locusts; they were in
sects known in England as dragon
flies. and very big ones. They evil
IDENTIFY made for the ship to get rest
ing place for the soles of their feet;
but many missed, and fell exhausted
in the calm sea.
The masts, the yards, the rigging
and every rope in the ship were lit
orally incrusted with them. 1t was
very sultry evening, and about six
o'clock we all bathed I remember the
strange experience Of diving into a sea
Of dragon flies, which stuck to our
arms and shoulders, got into our hair,
and quite spoiled our swim. A light
air then came off from the land, SO we
weighed anchor, and made sail to the
southwark; and at midnight, just as
the watch was changing, we were
struck by terrific squat, which laid
the old ship nearly on her beam ends.
We wondered whether the visitation
of dragon flies was Connected in any
way with the squall But if they were
blown so miles off the land, where
they certainly did not want to go, why
did we not get the wind for six hours
afterward youths Companion.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17
The New Fable of the Passing Up OF
the Wonderful Meal of Vitties.


the Wonderful Meal of Vitties.
Once upon Time a Rugged Char
acter from the Middle West was in
New York City fixing up a Deal.
Although he wore overlapping Cuffs
and ready-made Tie, he had Rat
ing, SO a certain Promoter with an
Office in Broad Street found it ad
visable to make Fuss over him.
The Promoter invited the prospec-
tive Mark to Luncheon and arranged
to have the same served in a snug
Corner entirely screened by Oleanders
and Palms.
The Chef received private Instruc-
tons to throw himself, so he personal
1y supervised a dainty Menu which any
Gourmet might well pronounce a Tri-
umph
When the Visitor entered the far
famed Establishment and found him
self entirely protected from the Vulgar
Gaze he knew that at last he was in
the Headquarters for sure-enough
Food.
What is it?" he asked, gazing into
the limpid Amber of the First Course.
Turtle Soup" replied the Host.
1--WE shoot the Blame Things just for
Practice, out our Way" said the Guest,
'but if l went Home and told my Wife
I'd been eatin' Turtle she wouldn't live
with me-"
So the Alsatian Nobleman hurried 1t
away and substituted a Tid-Bit with
Cray-Ffsh as the principal Ornament
in the Ensemble
It's a CraW-Dabber!" exclaimed the
horrifed Man from the Prairies. 81
see Ten Million of them little Cusses
every Spring. but wouldn't touch one
with Ten Foot Pole"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17

rather die than swear in the presence
OF ladies, yet boast loudly of their saw
ings in the matter Of cigars; and there
are women who would forego their an
nual spring cleaning rather than show
their ankles, yet who triumphantly tell
you after dinner that you have eaten
not sweetbreads at their table, but
the frugal calves brains.
These people do not know that one
Of the principal secrets of the fine art
OF simple living is never to tell To
save and to tell is as bad as to kiss
and to tell, and in the matter of cigars
it is only too easy to find out the truth
for oneself. Now. CaIigula-but wher-
ever he is, this remarkable man must
be pleased to know that he has point
ed manufacturing Magazine.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17
Really Put RiN er "on Map"

1t appears that the incredulfty
which was expressed with regard to
the great Brazilian river said to have
been discovered by Mr.. Roosevelt was
a monopoly Of the large majority who
know very little Of the subject. No
phrase could better describe what the
axpresfdent actually has done in re-
gard to this river than his own, which
he used more than once at the meet
ing Of the Royal Geographic cociety,
I have put it on the map. That is
precisely what he has done. If it be
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17
LEISURE APPEALS TO FEW
Fine Art of Simple Living Appears to
Have Died Out in This Age OF
Work and Rush.

Leisure of life has disappeared be-
cause a great deal Of money must be
made In order to i've. Who today
will sacrifice much for good books or
a garden or for leisure itself, unac-
companied by Injuries? After all, if
one wants to acquire the fine art Of
simple living, it is the spirit that
counts. Il never" said an old gentle
woman who had suffered reyerses,
gave up having candle-shades on the
table, even if the dinner was only
bread and milk" And there is a great
deal In the spirit that this triumphant
point Of view expresses. Like the
Emperor Caligula, the old lady had
lived as simple a life as she could IN
the station to which the gods had
called her.
To the best of US the practice of the
fine art of simple living consists in do
ing without things gracefully. gaining
what We can of pleasant leisure, and
giving what we can of cheerful COM
partnership, and in never talking about
economy. There are men who would
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17
Laconic Advice.

When Atticus once discovered a
treasure Of gold while digging under
a house he sent news OF his discovery
to the emperor, Nerva, from whom he
received the laconic reply: Use it,
And when in his difidence he protest
ed that it was too large sum for his
own personal use. the emperor re-
sponded: Then abuse it"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17
The New Fable of the Unruffled Wife
and the GalIus Husband.

One day a Married Woman who was
entitled to a long row of Service
Stripes on her Sleeve sat in the Motor
and watched the remainder of the
Sketch try out his new trick Mono
plane.
He scooted away with the Buzzer
working overtime and soon was cloud
hopping about q Mile overhead.
When he began doing the Eagle
Swoops and the Corkscrew Dips, which
so often serve as a Prelude to a good
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17
(TO BE CON1INUEDg
Utilize Former Waste Material.

An interesting feature of the produc-
ton of anthracite coal in Penrsyl-
vania is the comp aratively recent utili-
cation Of the smaller sizes Of coal
Since the first washery was construct
ed in 1890 the total recovery Of use
full fuel shipped from the waste heaps
or culm banks has amounted to 49 1929.
$40 long tons.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17
Electric Range Operated cheapIy

An electric range displayed recently
in the windows of the electric light
company at Salt Lake City was op-
Grated continuously, both day and
night, for week, at total cost of
Sis. This figure was based on energy
at four cents a kilowatt hour. with a
discount Of ten per cent The stove
contained one oven, the temperature
of which was automatically controlled
by thermostatic deyice.-Electrical
World.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17

use upon the stage. So long as the
face was handsome and the figure per
feet, he did not mind whether she was
dark or fair, and told me to turn her
out to my own satisfaction.
'On the day l completed the figure
I was called away on important bust
ness, and during my absence the ar
tiste called. He was shown into my
studio by my assistant, and, seeing
the va fgure seated on an ottoman,
he saiC Good evening. Mrs. Blank!
mistaking it for my wife, whom he
had never seen As his greeting was
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17
tlFELIKE FIGURES IN WAX
WelI-Made Dummy Is Mistaken for
Sculptor's Wife by Visitor
Soy's ComicaI Error.

Yes said a man who turns out
Taxwork figures for exhibitors and
travelling shows, the average sculp-
cor in wax can relate many little tales
20 make you smile Not long ago
made a wax figure of beautiful
yoUr2r L2dy zor a vaudeville actor for
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17
SYNOPSIS.

At their home On the frontier between
the Browns and Grays Marta Galland and
her mother. entertaining Colonel Wester-
ling of the Grays. see Captain Lanstron,
injured by a fall in his aeroplane. Ten
years later. Westeriing. nominal vice but
real chief Of staff. reinforces South La
Tir. meditates on war.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17
The Crunch

The Dotfng Mamma, after the bril-
liant piano solo-My daughter has
been practicing for six years
The Grouchv Caller-But why
should she practice In public?
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17
Soft Stuff

Here's a sad story in this newspa
per"
Tell me about it."
"a man was knocked senseless by
being struck on the head with a bun.
die of old love letters"
That's the first time l ever heard
of petrified mush."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17

not reciprocated,- he turned to my as
sistant and remarked, Poor, Mrs.
Blank! I had no idea she was deaf
and dumb, What an awful affection. ,
When he was told that the lady was
Of wax, and tire figure he had ordered,
his surprise knew no bounds.
"A little boy who visited a wax
work show l ran once came to the
conclusion that everybody on seats
who did not speak was a wax figure.
He stared at an aged lady, who was
seated, for several minutes, and ther.
blurted out, What an ugly old thing.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17

Love that is awakened like a fash
of guncotton is liable to cool as
quickly.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17

lady rose, called him rude boy, and
walked away in high dudgeon."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17

American office furniture is rapidly
gaining popularity in England.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17

Whether or not poverty is a dis
grace depends upon the efforts Of the
subject
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17

not precise to say that he has dis
covered" the river, seeing that lie
head and tail we're known already, it
is exactly true that he has put it on
the map, for this could not be done tie
fore the finding and the correct lilac
ing of the body of the great stre.m.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1914-09-17
The FIy's Feet.

All the germs-aH the imaginable,
abominable microbes-fasten them
selves on the spongy feet of the fly.
He brings them into the house and
wipes them off his feet. The fly you
see walking over the food you are
about to eat is covered with filth and
germs. If there is any dirt in your
house or about your premises or
those Of your neigh5ors he has just
come from it. It is his home. Watch
him as he stands on the lump Of sugar
industriously wiping his feet. He is
wiping off the disease germs, rubbing
them on the sugar you are about TO
eat. leaving the poison for you to swal
low.
The Oroville weekly gazette. [volume] (Oroville, Wash.) 1905-19??, 1914-09-18
MORE VISITORS

Notice has been received by the
Commercial Club and business men
that the ninth annual excursion of the
Spokane Merchants Association will
include run through the Okanogan
valley to Oroville, and that the spec
ial train may be expected here on We'd
nesday, September %, at a. m. The
object of the trip and visit as set forth
in the announcement of the coming
ito meet your business men, bankers
and citizens. To bring you greetings
from Spokane and get better acquaint-
ed. To see your places of business and
learn your problems" The object is
one that our people can meet in a
reciprocal spirit, and the Spokane rep
resentatives will be made welcome. 1t
is for the Commercial Club to arrange
for reception, and frame a program
to entertain. An exhibition of pro-
ducts and minerals similar to that COL
lected for the Seattle visitors would
be good idea, and a drive in auto
mobiles around the country would give
the strangers better idea of the ex-
tent and richness of the valley i'm
mediately around town. Give the WIS.,
itors the glad hand and make their
stay among us as pleasant as pos
sible.
The Oroville weekly gazette. [volume] (Oroville, Wash.) 1905-19??, 1914-09-18
Case No. 1176
Serial No. 0S573
NOTICE OF CONTEST

Department of the Interior, u. 8. Land
Office at Waterville. Washington, Sep
TENDER g.. 1914.
To Maurice w. Sulenberger, of OrO-
vile, Contestee: N
You are hereby notified that John II.
Coulter, who gives Oroville, Washington.
20 1914, file in. this office his duly cor
rotated application to contest and secure
the cancellation of your homestead entry
No. 479911. serial. No. 0S573, made June
ship 40, north range ~, e. w. NJ, and
as grounds for his contest he alleges that
said Maurice w. Sullenberger never re-
land; that he has wholly abandoned the
same for more than three years last past.
You are, therefore, further notified that
office as having been confessed by you.
and your said entry will be cancelled
thereunder, without your further right to
be be- heard therein either ., before this Of. Of
office within twenty days after the fourth
publication of this notice, as shown be-
low. under oath, specifically meeting and
test, or if you fail within that time to file
in this office due proof that you have
served copy of your answer on the said
contestant either in person or by reg
istered mail If this service is made by
the delivery of a copy of your answer to
the contestants written acknowledgment
date of it's receipt or the affidavit of the
person by whom delivery was made, stat
ing when and where the copy was deliver
ed, if made by registered mail. proof Of
such service must consist of the affidavit
of the person by whom the copy was mail
ed, stating when, and the post office to
which it was mailed, and this affidavit
must be accompanied by the postmaster's
receipt for the letter.
You should state in your answer the
name of the post Office to which you de-
sire future notices to be sent to you.
w. f. HAYNES, Register.
j. e. SHORE, Receiver.
Date Of first publication Sept, Is, 1914
Date of second publication, Sept. 25, 1914
Date of third publication, Oct. 2, 1914
Date of fourth publication, Oct. 9, 1914
The Oroville weekly gazette. [volume] (Oroville, Wash.) 1905-19??, 1914-09-18

turing history in the making by pres
enting, each week, last-minute news,
photographs and drawings of battles
on land and sea, together with inter-
esting stories and articles from special
representatives in the field. Then
therell be a series of articles dealing
with the effect of the war on the Ia
tons involved and on American bus
mess. All this in addition to the usual
good stories, news photographs, spec
ial articles, timely editorials, etc., of
which Golfers is full even in ordin-
airy times.
Just for a moment consider the bar
gain you are getting with such com
bination as the Gazette, Collier 8
Weekly and the three volumes, bound
in cloth and neatly printed, of De Men
evals Memoirs of Napoleon, all for
So for new subscriptions and renew
ais paid one year in advance. With
the war in progress and the long win
ter evenings coming on no one can
afford to overlook this opportunity to
get much choice reading matter at a
very small figure.