The Washington herald., 1914-07-27
.KIKERIK-MAA-A;
Go CALL A COP!
The Pompous Looking Gent
Did, but When He
Found One
"GOAT?I'LL PINCH YOU!"
Also Something About Crack in Your
Ceiling" the Barnyard
Concert Continues.
"GOAT?rL PINCH YOU!"

II you 0ont DeneVe Inat roOsteIs anu
goats are enemies Of mankind, ask al
most any one living in the neighborhood
OF First and n streets northwest.
About three months ago one Of the
residents Of N street. between North
Capitol and First. bought a rooster. 1t
became a regular thing for this fowl to
conduct one hour Growing exercises
twice daily. The hours selected for the
commencement Of these exercises were be-
tween midnight and-5 a. m.
Last Saturday one OF the residents of
First street, directly around the corner
from the residence of the rooster. decid-
ed that the moral ard social welfare of
the neighborhood wouh be uplifted by
the presence OF a goat Acting upon this
conviction he brought ore home with
him Sunday morning. II was q dignifed,
peaceful-looking animal. with an ex-
preston of owl-like wisdom upon its
countenance
Ends Goats sIumber.
Now, at midnight last night, Just when
the goat was sleeping a heavy slumber.
the result of a hearty supper and a
clear conscience, his roostership direct
ly around the corner. after the manner
of a professional soap-box orator, mount
ed a barrel in his yard, and after a few
preliminary MARBLES, let forth his night
ly. screeching salute to the dawn. The
goat woke up with a terrific shock near
ly paralized with fright
What in the name OF John Paul Jones
was THAR" he muttered hoarsely. He
had not long to wait for an explanation.
Gratified by the sound of his own voice,
the rooster commenced his regular crash
ing. clamorous, sleep-murdering serenade.
His goatships as the effect OF the first
shock passed, pulled himself together.
Eravely stroked his whiskers and debated
with himself as to the best method of
suppressing his noisy neighbor. He de-
cided to meet him at his own game
There was a momentary lull in the crow
ing. Hastily clearing his throat for ac-
ton, and throwing a forty-horsepower
energy into his lungs. the goat beloved
forth one mighty ''maa-a-a" that woke
up a boilermaker on the next block. and
nearly knocked down several adjoining
fences.
Start General Alarm.
There was an almost instantaneous ef-
feet on the neighborhood. Four or five
shot up. revealing nightcapped
heads. Considerable profanity was in the
air. The rooster and the goat, both de-
termined to see the thing to a finish, put
forth their best efforts in the way Of
noise.
A few minutes later several very lightly
garbed citizens were in the alley. Having
located the exact position of his goatship.
a pompous-looking gentleman went to find
a policeman to put a stop to the barnyard
He found one three blocks
away.
"Ohcer. do you duty" called out the
pompous looking gentleman, whose ap-
proach in soft slippers had been rather
noiseless.
''wossat-wassatrubb shouted the
policeman, as he came to himself.
Il want you 10 come down and get
that goat"
Get whose goat? Are you kidding
about the ears.
Il just want you to come down and
see this goat He's down in the alley
and the fence has a little crack in it"
"Crnck in Your Ceiling"
'I think your ceiling has a little crack
N 1t, too" growIed the policeman. Bet
ter beat it before 1 pinch you as vag."
This is an outrage and l shall see the
about it in the morning."
shouted the pomPous citizen as he strode
away.
Upon the pompous gentleman's return
/ three-minute Indignation meeting was
held by the citizens waiting in the al
ey. during which they expressed their
opinion of the police department in a few
sizzling Anglo-Saxon terms.
They decided to buy several substantial
Iized air rifles today. and agreed that
when the noise commences tonight they
would
All, just you wait and see what they
will do.
At the hour OF going to press 1t was
earned that the rooster and the goat
we're still at it and both going strong |