The Washington times., 1914-02-14
Cupifs Darts Fail to Impress
Six in Senate and Twelve in
Lower House, According to
Summary Of Statistics.

This is the annual report Of Chief
Cupid, of the Bureau of Matrimony,
submitted this Valentines Day, 1914.
1t contains a complete summary OF
cardiac statistics of the members of
the House and Senate, and deals prin-
cipally In futures.
In the preface, Chief Cupid points out
that his activities at the white House
in the last year constitute his greatest
accomplishment In Washington, but
since that Is now history, he is turn
ing his attention to the Capitol, which
still offers q great opportunity.
According to his bachelor census, the
senate contains six unclaimed blessings,
while the lower house looms up with
twelve. ....
THE time has come" Cupid-not the
walrus-said. TO suppress that chest
nut about describing the gowns Of the
wife Of Senator Burton of Cleveland.
That's a stock joke out in Ohio, you
know, and when a man has withstood
the siege successfully for sixty-two
years, I claim he Is entitled to some
consideration.
Association In Congress, 1t isn't at all
surprising that he Is otherwise known
as the Peace Man In the Senate. Any
bachelor can be peace man.
Penrose Ducks Matrimony.
Senator Penrose is now down in the
Dismal Swamp hunting big game. For
fifteen years he has consistently side
stepped my efforts to make him march
to the Mendelssohn miserere.
L., l1a HI
Betty which may or may not have
any significance. He looks wen on
horseback. Apparently, he prefers to
single-foot 1t through life.
'Brandegee, of Connecticut, is an
other wealthy and handsome bachelor.
lie needs to be coaxeds however. l nave
rot enough arrows for his heart to De
as SCARED as Lancelot's Shield ana
there are several fair Elaines weeping
to cover It."
The next section of Chief cupid's re-
port was devoted to Senator Sherman
OF Illinois.
He is twice a widower," reads this
Record, ''and his Illinois
call him Senator Abe be-
cause OF his likeness to President Lin
coin. He says he has had so much
politics lately that he has no heart
only a pumping station in his breast
Smith Eludes Snares.
Mark Smith, Of Arizona, hunts and
fishes, but 30 far has eluded the snares
of the Eternal Feminine.
Senator Gallinger is out Of the city,
deponent sayeth not where, hence there
is no present available data on this sub
ject.
Among the younger element, there is
grand prospecting. First, there is Hal
Flood, who, think, has already oapitu-
lated.
.'At least there are indications that he
so shall not waste much time with
him.
"McKeller. Of Tennessee. also is COM
ing my way, I hear. The cleft In his
chin marks him as one Of my vassals,
and a number of Congressional ma
irons have seen to 1t that the crop
of debutantes has at least one cavalier
when he Is available.
"Dupre. OF Louisiana, is the favorite
Of the dansant circles. and impresses
each fair hostess that he has post
poned all other events OF his life fog
this ono honor. and popular rumor
whispers that he is the handsome hero
of many romances.
Rayburn a Real Bachelor.
Now comes Sam Rayburn of Texas.
He likes the theater and motoring. and,
above all. good dinner. Isn't that
waiter Rafferty, of Oregon is next
on the list. Rafferty, Is a friend of
Champ Clark and has a genial Western
manner.
Robert E. Lee of Pennsylvania is an
athletic type, although medium In
stature. He plays tennis. golf and polo
and is an expert skater. I know there
is some fair maiden waiting for the