New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-12-13
GRDIRON DINNER
NEUTRAL ON WAR
Nothing Else Sacred with
Frolicsome Members of
Club, However.
GRIEVANCES AIRED
IN BURSTS OF SONG
p,ld Home Week." Showing Joe
Cannon and Other Come
backs. Makes a Hit.

Cannon and Other Come
backs, Makes a Hit.
warrington. Dec. members OF
=, Cabinet, Congressman, diplomatists
=; leaders Of al activities Of the ma
u.s. lie gathered round the board
,.,s tonight at the Gridiron Clubs
Tirter dinner.
p,s.iSent Wilson's earnest injunc-
-. NJ the American people 70 refrain
49, pubhc discussion of war issues
. 80 strictly regarded. and the location
- ,rery one Of the many satires and
S,,matic skits was always within the
80 lines Of the two oceans which
s.r,d the Americas. Uncle Sans
-.,ss had full opportunity to air their
-,;svspces, for the most part in song,
Sstbering described as Uncle Sans
IrbiIse. The negro complained of the
,.o,kings Of the civil service law, which
49, sertenced more good colored vot-
,-s N the levees and cotton fields than
,,v other peonicious legislation" He
.i:o deplored the new primary laws,
- 10 The air Of "Old Uncle Ned" he
sang: -,
mr., up Ar o,t delegate. bis name Was Uncle Ned.
BE lived loas ago. Ions ago
a. nj 10 Conventions whenever ne Vas Do.
~ Ind nsts how be lived. Ions ago.
CHORUS
10 las down The shovel and The hoe,
1aa asns W he ~ add iS,I a1a o th' S Ses
ne primaries lad hin low.
Farmers Want Money.
The farmer was another ward with
i. complaint; he wanted q bunch of
srsenbaeks. Up home he had shed
I'M Of souashes and wanted the Treas
NV 10 issue circulating notes on them.
Two other wards were Colonel Waiter
,on and Colonel Harvey. They had no
grievances, but expressed their con-
tsntment in a song, the refrain Of
which was:
TE oas back Dear Leader. to thee. to thee.
ru ecns back. cone back.
lTs cone back. Dear Leader 70 three.
Among other wards, Alaska wanted
70 be shielded from exploitation of
capitalists; Hawaii called attention
10 Queen Liliuokalani's lack Of pen
sion; Porto Rico wanted more govern
nent Jobs and e duty on sugar, and
Filipino wanted TO know when he would
grow up and be independent. When
the latter was chided and told that he
must not get hasty, he replied:
"Hastyl I'm getting musty!
The politician complained that taxes
had been laid on business paper, chew
ing gum, billiard rooms and circuses.
while whiskey had gone Scot free, be-
cause the bill had been passed in Octo-
Der and the election was in November,
and in 8 burst OF satire he sang:
you have 20 lGy tar.
Dolt put Il onto rye.
p; E onto Injuries.
Bui keep IL Of % re.
SICK e onto chewing gun,
o. Billiard cues. says l.
BIZ fgl the love o. Nike. ! bes you.
Keep % % Of re.
Politics in a Prize Fight.
A realistic prizefght was staged in
The centre Of the dining hall, and the
spectators were treated TO a lively
mill The stake was "a large house
located at 1900 Pennsylvania av.," and
ihe principals were kid Democracy"
and "0ld G.. 0. p" the referee being
Bull Moose" who announced his abil-
~ to lick both Of the two old parties.
His decisions had never been ques-
toned, even when overruled by the
Supreme Court"
A moving picture show enlivened the
proceedings. representing "the great
est deliverative body on earth, the
United States Senate" in session, but
The general eject was greatly marred,
hrst, by strenuous objection 20 such
an undignifed encroachment upon the
body, and when that had been removed
By the insertion Of his own name into
he advertisement, by the fact that Sen
sIor Ollie James persisted in standing
Up, and thereby blotting out the re-
nalnder Of the picture.
Following us invariable rule, the
Gndiron Club initiated, in the pres
snee Of It's many guests, q new mem
bsr-William Z. Brigham, Washington
correspondent Of THE Boston Tran
script" who was described as "a jour
nslist who would like TO get into an
association Of newspaper men," An
swering questions, he said that he was
in pretty good standing in Secretary
bryan's anteroom."
Back to Oyster Bay.
A Roosevelt song, TO the tune Of I'm
On Ny Way to Msndalay," followed,
with this chorus:
u Or uy vsy 20 oyster Bay.
5ensah ny sheitering roof I've got 20 stay.
sLls a so1g q things gone Hrong
! 2 % iouge, trusted.
Al ,as Blg sick's busted
lhiis why I'm On ny way 70 orsieT Bay.
ire coue 70 ssy goodby.
"Old Home Week" brought together
some old spirits under the kindly eve
5f the Goddess Of Liberty on an ele-
rated perch, who had come TO welcome
them from her station on the dome Of
The Capitol. Uncle Joe Cannon was
among the first arrivals, and when
asked how long he was going to stay
replied:
"Well, / didn't buy no return ticket"
CT sulloway, another returning Con-
gressnan. announcing that up his way
she hunting is poor; all the Bull
Moose have been killed of" When
Nicholas Longworth appeared Cannon
How the family, Nick? Bring EN-
al 70 the celebration"
Loagsorth: "All except father-in-
avs
Cannon: "Why don't you persuade
I'm 70 stay IN some Of those lonesome
Places be writes about?"
Longworth: There amt no lone
sones place than Oyster Bay rign'
n5v.'
Charm Of Warships Gone.
When told that Secretary Daniels had
abolished the wine mess on warsnips
curing bis absence from Washington,
subway exclaimed:
That means no more inspection
cruises by the Naval Committed"