Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1914-08-20
CROP CONDITIONS
IN SEQUACHEE VALLEY
All Sorts of BaIderdash About
the Phenomenal Crops of
This Section.

Crop conditions in this valley are
good. In fact, bumper crops will be
garnered. The corn crop, in spite of
the drouth, is looking remarkably
we'll, and calamity nowlers will have
to take back seat When a farmer
goes ont to get "roastin' ears" be
takes block and tackle and an axe
| along, the purpose of which are man
fold. He uses the axe to chop the
| off the 'roastin ear and the block
and tackle to get it into his wagon.
The Irish potato crop in many parts
of the valley was complete failure.
The drouth fixed them when every
thing was looking pretty good for
large crop. Those who produced pota
toes this year, however, get good
prices for them, and are contemplate
ing starting banks. Sweet potatoes are
cumming along in their old sweet
way and farmers will have to lay in
supply of dynamite to blast out some
Of the "big uns" in November.
A pretty good apple crop infests Sc
quachee valley this year. This don't
happen very often, so small boys have
been suffering from green apple con-
sumption. Mountain orchardists re-
port well laden trees, and mountain
apples are fit for the tables of the>gods.
Turnip sowing has commenced.
Mark Twain, while running an agri
cultural paper, wrote that the best
way to gather turnips was to go up
tree and shake 'em out A subscriber
got after Mark about this and sundry
other petty mistakes as to agriculture,
and the tripod of great farm paper
was hastily abandoned Every body
raises turnips in Sequachee valley,
but they don't shake EN- out, they
simply pull 'em up. 1t is said that
turnips are raised so big that when
farmer is harvesting one of them he
finds another man on the opposite side
of the turnip struggling to raise it
from the ground.
Punkins are not much punkin this
year, and the Thanksgiving dinner is
not going to taste right unless there
be a radical change. The punkin vine
is mighty onsartin in its ways and
this year, owing to drouth conditions,
is punk in production.
The watermelon crop is abbreviated
but there is enough of the ovals to
call in doctor occasionally. The
huckleberry crop on the mountain was
failure, as usual. The bushes are
delirious to grow and produce big, fat
huckleberries, but few idiots won't
let them. The Greek word for pri.
vate citizen is "idiotes. There's an
awful similarity in the sound and pos
sibly these idiots who fire the woods
are very private citizens, for they
never are discovered, SO every year
people do without huckleberries when
there ought to be tons of them.
Late hay crop is looking good with
continued rains. and asses will have
lots of proven der this winter. We
speak of asses, for nearly all good
farmers use mule power, and by the
advent of the automobile driving
horses are getting scarce. With near
ly fifty new cars bought in this coun-
ty since Jan. I, 1914, in addition to a
pretty good supply already on hand,
the automobile crop Of 1914 seems to |
be very good. The best way to gather
is to go with the plunks to
an agent. No farmer has yet succeed
ed in raising an automobile. except |
out of a mud hole at IS. 20 per pull.
From the above will be seen that |
there are bumper crops in Sequachee |
valley. People are eating SO much |
that creeks are in great demand for |
them to stand in to avoid loss of those |
peculiar substances on the end of their |
toes known as toenails.