The Washington herald., 1914-09-06
5R6ezN 5UzARRG- Byflhs RatkefBmer

all scared "Yon is lovely land to grab, they say,
but it's long, walk from home. Let's swat Ser
via instead The walkings better"
Even the scrappest European country takes another
think before she starts the long walk the deep
The home delcstessen stores long way from
Broadway When a European nation begins to feel
scrappy and her eyes around she takes Just
look the Atlantic and begins feel seasck If the
Atlantic ocean was set up edge and continuous
performance cataract like Niagara Falls it couldn't
make better wall than it does
Same with the Pacific, only its wider By the time
yellow peril took the long swim to California would
be washed white it would look like corpse and
cheap GOULD hand it to the undertaken
and say "Potterfs Field for it,"
Servia is Just about far from one edge OF the
Atlantic as Iowa is, and look the difference! For
many lively centuries the Serb has been just jump
in front OF needle-ponted ayonet, with the only
chance for bet the question whether the bayonet would
puncure his pants his soul and knowing from
one year to the whether he to be Turk,
Russian. Austrian sweet-faced angel with
golden harp The widest hope he has in the legal
line is that somebody will pass law he be
whether he's be shot at sunrise hung the
gees down And while he ezprng from crag to c-ag.
wishing he had pair of cowhGe boots like his grand
iather once stole from a murdered grand du.e the
calm and peaceful Iowa legislature is passing law
compelling all males cut their toe nails every Tues
d7y and Friday will nave less sock darniny after
the Monday wash
It's the ocean does it, It's the grand blue ocean,
s5fely separating us from Europe, that permits the
L. 5. A to travel lis chosen road of destiny which
said road is the road OF the Law II it ior the
trny deep we'd have Join the big European process
sion road OF destiny, which has been ard md
always will be Force.
p,,, W. r;tb
blank book big as the continent knees and
our pen hand and little by little getting this
law and ordinance business where want it. Every
time think OF anything that begins with any letter
OF the alphabet make law about and write
it in the Big Book and ahead thinking up another
We begin with laws big steamer cables, and we
were rough workers. but we've got down spider
webs and number one hundred cotton size and were
getting better every minute. We've Congress making
laws by the and hall hundred legislatures each
making laws by the hundred and thousands OF cities
all making laws by the millions. We're getting there
If the ocean keeps wet and we can go our own way
little longer. we'll be some lawed up. Wen nave a
law for every act OF life, and every will be against
some law.
Then we'll all be happy. Well have things fixed rhe
way they ought be. Protected by the Atlantic the
and by the Pacific the and permitted to
work out our destiny in peace there is telling how
far We may go. All OF girls will vote. Everybody
will vote for the who make the laws. Then vel
do away with the bother OF voting and everybody vii
make laws ofhand. Well have a big book at the cor.
ner OF Main and Cross streets and whenever anybody
thinks OF law he or she will get of the trolley anc
write it in the book and it will be law.
Yes, the ocean is-neNt to the ConsttutIon-tht
greatest American institution. l hope it drie:
up. hope the day hurries when anybody make al
the laws they to make I've got one l want tc
write in the book Its 4 law making it a pen otfenst
for promoter OF Ready Beaten eggs put of marry
ing his redheaded stenographer until her hair turns
gray.