The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-08-09

get out. and which cannot be replaced by the processes of nature in less than 1,247,000 years?
 1 am away down in the woods of Ala bama, but I have been informed that there is a little schoolmaster in Washing ton who seems to Know this sleeping giant and he likes him well enough to protect him from these para sites for the first time in 50 years. He knows nothing of that deus ex machina called "business' by its votaries with bared breath and reverential awe, but it has been noticed that the Invisible government" and it's fooents have all scurried away as before the Pied Piper" of blessed schooboy memory.
 It has been observed that his work is constructive, helping, building, curing, healing and noble, as never before, teaching kings. emperors and poten- tates new and infinitely higher ideals or human government Now these par asites are, some of them men of high intellect and splendid soul, and, of course, very necessary to the body pol ltic. while others, who have been grow ing fabulously rich and splurging on other peoples money. are indignant that the little schoolmaster stands guard over this sleeping giant and will not allow them to bleed him any more.
 otSiNcS they are DtS1ilIlUS lO ltdTll that the tail can no longer wag the dog"
 Now. these are all we'll known facts and the difficulty heretofore has been that this giant was too big for locomo- tion Besides no one would or could help him to his feet but now the little schoolmaster can arouse him, hold his ponderous legs together and teach him to walk
 This giant can begin business with 500,O00,00 of cash capital by January l. 1915. He can put 100000 men to work building ships, boats, elevators, etc He can have agents in every for eign port.
 In a few years he would have cash assets of S20 1000 100000. and counting the value of his property at 10 per cent. his farms, railroads and ships would be worth s200 1000, 900, 900, r4 times the value of all railroads, 200 times all banks and 100 times all steel plants and furnaces.
 Yet Judge Gary ignored 1t as if it had nothing to do with the case; as if the farmers would amuse themselves by throwing 1t at the birds; as if every sale he makes would not be quickly cancelled but for this enormous new wealth which comes to us every year.
 Is 1t dealing honestly with the pub lic, Is 1t not mere jugglery to omit a factor without which We could not ex- ist?
 There seems to be bandmaster somewhere, who has been at work on well drilled chorus of professional mourners and howlers. At first he be- gan slowly and gently with pianissimo riusic and taught them to sing a little ditty entitled Kindergarten Institu- tion." You remember during the reign Of Big Teeth in 1908 when everybody went about the streets looking like the photograph of a departed spirit, some bright and merry lad conceived the idea Qt too being psychologicaD that 1t was better and wiser to smile than to scowl so the bandmaster then taught them to sing Smile, Damn You, Smile" Now the same chorus by the same band master teaches them to sing, Howl, Dawn You. How1w
 Next he taught them a lugubrious la rnentation called "Depression;" then afterwards in one. continuous roulade tiey howled a monotonous inspiration called "Inflation," until they were red in the face; then when that wore out they howled day and night, "Tollsl Tells! Tollsw Then Big Teeth, the big Injun chief. Sittin' Bull. got to work and when he stepped once more on the western hemisphere he tilted 1t awry, and made such seismographic disturb ances that the weather bureau took fright and ran away. He sings a most powerful and heart-rending aria yclept Calamity" upheaving the lowest geo. logical stratum.
 whoever he may be, wields his baton for the full chorus and orchestra he stands and shakes his long locks and like Creatore. all of sudden he grabs big handful of atmosphere and hurls it Into the mouth of the big bass horns whereupon such a blast belches forth trat the railroad magnates and their lieutenants leap out of their seats, and, springing headlong, they fall upon the floor in stertorous groanings; the mi pority In Congress furnishes credit 2 ble imitation. and even the demopubli- cans and the republicrats. of the south begin to butt their heads against the alls, while the democrat. keeping his eyes fixed on that $10,000, 100000 and being deaf as a post and yet thinking he heard a noise. looks up with his quset. innocent smile and says sweetly, That Is the first robin I have heard this spring."
 And while this chorus is singing "Hark from the Tombs the Doleful Sound" some foreign capitalists, who have observed this $10,000.000, 1000, arc slipping under their very noses and buying up the best properties in Amer lea.
 We rather suspect that this band r aster wants 5 per cent increase in rates. His policy Is to take by might V hat he cannot get by right And he is trying to choke you to death by ramming Calamity" in big hunks down your throat to get what he wants. If he succeeds, how long before he will want another per cent? And by the same process. too. pedad!
 Is he not playing a dangerous game?
 There was a time when this same and his horde of fellow dressed in the tip of fashion and blask mask. attended every old auction sale of law they heard of and bought 1t as they would lard. meat, cof- fee, turnips, old "clotings'' and frank furters. But they can't do 1t now. Last winter I stood at the depot at Benton, Aia, watching the Alabama river flow ing quietly down to the gulf. I said to a bucolic gentleman standing by, "Why are there no boats on the river?'
 He replied, "I don't know, but Wood rev Is goin' to find out'
 There was another song so loud that 1t penetrated the backwoods of GWin's beat and scared the wildcats so that they came running to the house dand sat shivering by the fire and looking so innocent you would have sworn lives.
 It was Adjourn! Adjourn! Stop talk ing ond go home!' and they howled 1t with such wise look. so vastly su- perior, anyone would have thought that there were no fools on earth ex- ccpt in Congress.
 If the bandmaster thinks so little of h.s railroad property, let him get down to business sure enough, put a low nrf, hn al U