davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27
Of fHE CIVIL var

[F'rom the Telegraph, May 27, 1864
Fortress Monroe, May 25. = The
steamer George Washington, from Ber-
muda Hundred, arrived this morning
and reports that at 2 o'clock yesterday
afternoon the rebel General Fitzhugh
Lee, with about 1000 cavalry attacked
our garrison at Wilson's Landing, on
the James river, and came near over
powering our forces there. though they
fought bravely and had the aid of a
gunboat.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27

news dispatch says that Colonel
roosevelt narrowly escaped swarm of
bees that settled on the depot platform
at Washington, yesterday, when he ar
rived. We rather suspect that it was
not the Colonel. but the bees, that es-
capped
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27
SUMMERS CHARMS
By Wing Dinger


The editor has asked me
To write a verse or two
About the charms of summer,
But that is hard to do.
For how's a fellow going to
Enthuse, I'd like to know,
When he recalls that summer
For him means grass to NOW?
That means hard work at least once
Each week. and then, alas,
Each night there'll be the bugbear
OF watering the grass.
Don't talk to me of summer.
With all it's charms. for I
Don't really see much to 1t
But work and swat the fly.
l wish my friend who borrowed
Our snow shovel last Fall
Would bring it back and borrow
Our mower, hose and all.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27

England has finally refused to exhibit
at the Panama Pacific Exposition next
year. Yet this is the friendly nation
which President Wilson and others are
SO anxious to please in the abolition of
that clause of the Panama Canal law
exempting the coastwise shipping of
the United States from payment of
tolls
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27

Pinchot may surpass the Colonel. We
have no doubt he will discover many
to him-unknown rivers in Pennsylva-
MIA
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27

our entertainments and has been re-
pulsed each time with heavy loss.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27

The River of Doubt has nothing on
the State of Doubt Pinchot is now dis
covering.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27

Getting Tired
The Lady - All,
Edwin is seven
hours late to the
tryst. If he amt
here in four more
hours, doggone IL
/ don't go home.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27
OUR DAILY LAUGH

Forest Lore
Willie Wood
pecker I want
you to get a coat
that would be
suitable for me.
Elmer Elf AS
you're a knocker,
IL you. will par
don me, now
would a claw
hammer do?
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27
All Rights Re-

served
Dere, kid, dat's
de last of me ad-
ventures / kin tell
you.
You see I'm go
ing to bring Sem
out in book form.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27
Fun

Fun
Lose anything,
Charles?
Moo. I'm les
pertendin' dat l
dropt q tousand
dollar bill down
dis g.ratin'
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27
IN HARRISBURG Fifty
YEARS AGO TO-DAY

[From the Telegraph, May 81, 1851
That Cost of Living
Owing to the high price of material,
etc, the blacksmiths of this city have
been compelled to increase the prices
for their work. Hereafter they will
charge SO for full set of new horse
shoes and so cents for resetting shoes.
The Magic Wheel
On Monday next the magic wheel
will commence to revolve in front of
the Courthouse. Fortunate are those
districts that have filled their quotas.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27

Enjoyment Lost
Jes' my luck.
Jes as I was
dreamin' of seven
tubs of ice cream,
I gotter fall outer
bed an wake up.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27

Enemy Makes Attacks
Baltimore, May 27.-A letter from
Bermuda Hundred on Wednesday says
the weather is exceedingly warm. The
enemy has made frequent attacks upon
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27

Pa Cod Knew
Tommy Cod -
What is 1t they
call a pessimist,
pa?
Pa Coda pes
simist, my son, Is
a fish who thinks
there is a hook in
every worm!
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27

Some expense accounts which ar.
not required by the law are being
filed at the Capitol. 1t appears that
some men who ran for nominations or
FOR state committee are of the poinion
that they must burden the files at the
Sapltol with their aftidavits. They are
filing the papers daily and gettfne
them back.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27

With view to drafting a platform
on which the Democratic ticket of
Mccormick for Governor and Palmer
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-05-27

published every evening (exoept Sun
day,, at the Telegraph Building. 21s
Federal Square.
The Washington times., 1914-11-16

throat, and by incidentally invading
Belgium gave us the excuse that our
militarists wanted to attack her with
the full sympathy of the nation
Policeman of West.
What then was England to do?" Mr..
Shaw asks.
Now comes the question in what po-
sition did this result of mad theory
and a hopelessly incompetent applica-
ton of it on the part of Potsdam place
our own Government? 1t left us quite
clearly in the position of responsible
policeman of the west. There was no
body else in Europe strong enough TO
chain the mad dog.
1t was evidently, says MIR. Shaw, Eng
land or nobody: there was no alterna-
tive. Like H. G. Wells he regards the
present war as q war on war. he
says:
Eve are supporting 1t. Why? As a
war on war, on military coercion, on
domineering and bullying, on brute
force. on military law, on caste inso-
Ience on what Mrs. Fawcett called in
sensate deviltry,, only to find the papers
explaining apologetically that she as a
lady had of course been alluding 70
war made by foreigners and not by
England. Some of US, remembering the
things that we ourselves have said ann
done. may doubt whether Satan can
cast out Satan, but as the job is not
exactly one for an unfallen angel we
may as well let him have try
The Washington times., 1914-11-16
ANARCHYS IMPLEMENTS

A New York newspaper prints a
list Of the bomb outrages in that
city since January of this year. 1t
finds that there have been forty-six
of them. The list is impressive, but
yet not nearly so striking as that
which was presented on behalf of
Chicago few years ago.
The bomb is the weapon of cow
ardice, of secrecy, Of darkness and
the meanest malice. Nowadays,
when any man with the ability to
read may learn how to manufacture
it, and when, once manufactured, it
may mean the destruction of a dy-
nasty, the bomb is menace almost
to the whole organization of society.
1t would be quite that, but for the
fact that the same spread of intel
ligence which makes it possible for
the cowardly murderer to construct
his bomb, also raises the general
moral average Of the great mass Of
people, and teaches them to hate the
cowardly assassin of the poisoned
stiletto and the concealed bomb.
The human units that make up
society have come to despise such
means of waging feuds. But what
shall be said for society in its or
ganized capacity? For the great
nation which uses a neutral flag in
order to plant mines? For the mill.
tary program which is based on
using the enemy's colors in order to
mislead and gain a towards victory
For the bombardment of Red Cross
hospitals and the destruction of
works which have been considered
sacred? For the employment of
cathedral towers as observatories
and signaling vantages for artil-
lery? Or for the soil of a neutral
nation as means to establishing bel
ligerent bases, wireless plants, coal
ing stations, and the like, in secret ?
1t occurs to the casual reader of
war news today, that war is drift
ing away from the rather honorable
and chivalrous standards of times
that we call barbaric, and into ways
that suggest the poisoned needle, the
Machiavellian plot, the cowardly ap-
proach and the reasonable attack.
Surely the nations do themselves and
their civilization an injustice, when
they make the spy their statesman
the flag of neutral their ensign, and
the murderer's bomb their weapon.
The Washington times., 1914-11-16
REPULSE AT THE USER.

If the allies have at last definitely
beaten the Germans back beyond the
User, as they report, the Kaiser may
again be rushing heavy forces east
to batter the Russian hosts away
from his own frontier.
William, leaving Russia neglected
at the outset of the war, massed his
legions against the French and drove
them pell nell from Belgium to the
gates of Paris.
In that first month of the Kaiser's
success in France the Cars mil.
lions of troops swept over the Aus
trian provinces and into East Prus-
sia itself.
The Kaiser withdrew from his
western armies storming their way
to Paris nine corps and sent them
speeding across Germany to assault
the Cars invading forces.
Then the French and British allies
The Washington times., 1914-11-16
SHOPPING EARLY.

There are two classes Of people to
whom reiteration of the advice to
shop early for Christmas will per-
haps be rather a bore: those who
have already learned the lesson, and
those who are hopeless and can
never be expected to learn it. The
former class will not insist on apollo
gies, and the latter is not entitled
to them.
In recent years much has been
accomplished toward bettering the
working conditions Of salespeople.
They get shorter hours all the year
through; half holidays on Saturday
in summer; and in some cities the
experiment Of all-day holidays on
Saturday has recently been tried;
and, finally, shorter hours during the
rush season of late autumn and early
winter. Among the people who have
learned the advantages Of early
shopping, whether they be shopkeep-
ers, workers, or patrons, there is
little danger Of a recurrence to old
time conditions. It is only needed
to get the rest of the community
lined up for the better order of
things.
The holiday season ought not to
mean a period of drudgery and ut
ter exhaustion to a large element OF
people, taking all the joy and salts
faction out of it. Yet it did mean
just that so long as shops were
conducted on the day-and-night plan
for the Accommodation" Of thought
less buyers. It still means that, to
just the extent that a part Of the
business community yet clings to the
old ways. Every year makes II
easier for these reluctant ones to
join the procession. They are nc
longer pioneers in a radical move
ment, but merely laggards in the
rear. Let them all get in this year
and most humane and sensible re.
form will have been accomplished.
The Washington times., 1914-11-16
LORD ROBERTS.

Lord Roberts was one Of those
cosmopolitan Britishers who have
built the empire. He was born in
India, of an Irish family. He was
a soldier, and a good enough one to
give promise Of the career ahead Of
him, before he was Of age. He died
on the field in France, almost eighty
three years old; and his entire life
time between those dates was given
to the service of building, saving,
and consolidating the empire.
1t may be doubted, indeed, whether
the name Of Hastings or of Give
or of Marlborough or of Wellington
will at last be writ higher than that
of Roberts, among the men who
made the empire. In India as a
youth he saw and helped suppress
the Sepoy rebellion, that most
threatening menace to the imperial
designs of his country. Other men
did their heroic parts in suppressing
that outbreak; but who, after play
ing that part, lived long enough to
become the organizer and the patron
saint of the military forces of the
new Indian empire, the very guaran-
tor of it's loyalty to the crown ?
That was the part which Lord Rob
erts played; and he gave his life be-
cause of a visit to the Indian troops
on the Continent, where they were
fighting side by side with the same
Irish, and Highlanders, and Cock:
neys, against whom they fought SO
terribly in the days of Lucknow and
Delhi and the Black Hole of Cal
cutta.
1t was given to Lord Roberts to
help save the empire in India, and
to repeat that same service a halt
century later in Africa. Perhaps
British persistence would have wor
the bitter struggle in Africa if the
genius of Roberts had not been avail.
able to retrieve disasters and organ.
ize success; but at least there may
be doubt.
AS an old man he won in Africa
and as a very old man he devoted
his years and strength, after tina,
campaign, to preparing Britain fol
the very struggle that has now de,
manded from him the last sacrifice
Making no pretense to be anything
more than a soldier, he proved that
he possessed better statesman
vision than most of the statesmen
for he never wavered in his convic.
! ton that the supreme test of British
The Washington times., 1914-11-16
AEROPLANE IN WAR.

The layman who has read with
some degree of horror accounts OF
bomb-dropping upon non-combatants
has at least been bothered in his
indignation by the suggestion that,
after all, there might be some mill
tary advantage, invisible to him, in
the practice.
The gain to Germany in assault
ing a church here, a public building
there, a market place elsewhere, in
Paris. in Antwerp, in Ostend. has
not been easy of discernment. But
the allies are doing the same thing.
We read a nonchalant London dis
patch that after the Kaiser had left
Thielt "British aviators dropped
bombs in the town, doing great dam
age to the Town Hall, the Palace Of
Justice, and other buildings and kill
ing two German soldiers"
- The departmental report just
made by General Scriven, chief sig
nal officer of the United States army:
, takes up in full the question Of aero
plane service in war, drawing its
moral from observations on the op-
erations Of the present conflict. Gen.
eral Scriven finds the flying machine
of tremendous value as a tactical
agent, for scouting, in directing ar
tillery fire, and for various other
uses. But the layman will be rath-
er amazed that even the military ex-
pert can find no military advantage
in bomb-dropping.
Such testimony gives him the
right to vent his indignation un-
curbed. General Scriven may be
right or wrong in his conclusions.
But if there is the slightest doubt
about it we may expect that the Of
fensive use of aeroplanes will even
tually be discontinued; that, indeed
even before this war is out, the
pressure of public opinion will have
been listened to. Ruthlessness which
brings gains will be persevered in
no matter what the world thinks;
but not a ruthlessness which serves
only to shock the world.
The Washington times., 1914-11-16
THE RESERVE SYSTEM.

In the world Of business, conf
dence is something like nine-tenths
Of the battle; and the inauguration
of the new Federal reserve banking
system today is accompanied by a
universal expression of assurance
that an era Of expansion and pros
perity is opening.
The whole business community
abroad, as well as at home-has de-
termined to regard the new banking
and currency system as a boon
whose timeliness is quite as remark
able as its general usefulness. Its
reorganization of reserve require
ments releases a half billion of
money for immediate uses, which is
one concrete benefit certain to be
appreciated even by the most pessi-
mistic critic.
More important even than this, is
the fact that in all directions busi-
ness is assuming phases and proper
tions which insure that profitable
use can be made of all the resources
available. The cotton exchanges are
opening, the great problem Of the
South is passing its most acute
point. The non-combatant world is
turning to this country with de-
mands that we supply it with vast
variety of necessaries which it can
not get elsewhere. The belligerent
nations are fairly racing each other
to get first into our storehouses OF
ready resource for use both on the
battlefield and n the processes of
peace.
1t would be difficult to conceive
more hopeful auspices under which
to start the new fiscal system at
work. Everybody hopes it will sue
coed; almost everybody is confident
| it will.
The Washington times., 1914-11-16

decency of having a Senatorial can
didate finance the purchase of leg
islature came to be regarded with
perfect cynicism by most people. Ii
the Senatorial aspirant were a poor
man, he had no chance at all, unless
he could enlist a wealthy angel OF
syndicate Of angels; a sort OF heav.
enly choir of interests that could
afford to chip in a few thousands
apiece in order to possess themselves
of a perfectly reliable Senator.
That sort of thing is ended for
ever. Nobody is going to undertake
the task of buying majority OF his
party in the primary, and then buy
ing a majority of the States cleo
torate in the election. The "good ole
days" are gone, and the decent, re-
spectacle new days are here. The
Senate and the country are going te
be the better for the change.
But while we are noting the pass
ing of the old order, let it be borne
in mind that toryism has always
protested that popular primaries
and popular elections would be sure
to kill the poor mans chance II
politics. Now we know that the
contrary is true: that the popular
election system, the primary, ano
the corrupt practices act-they al
ways go hand in hand-have giver
the poor man at last something like
an even chance.
The Washington times., 1914-11-16
Indorses Trolley Freight Idea.

To the Editor Of the Mail Bag:
' The suggestion OF Superintendenf
sherman of the Office CT weightA
Measures and Markets. that . trolley
freight service be established for oriny-
ing produce into Washington from Mary
land and Virginia, Is one worthy or CON
sideration by the Public Utilities Com
mission and the street railway COM
panies. IT would seem that the com
tbis recommendations without suggeoden
on the part of the commission.
Certainly the farmers and produoefS
would rather employ trolley servfo0
than have to depend an T,.s on slo~.mSv1nc t,vss
troiIey service, produce could Be sent
from a distance Of fifty a miles; ,S me
pi,ad bv wagon. Superintendent Shsr-
man says. is limited to Z radius o.
twenty miles. The benent 70 the 60
sumner would be in the increase OF the
food supply.
vantage of such a system. a word frora
the Public Utilities Commission nnsns
not be amiss.
The Washington times., 1914-11-16
Responsibility for Conflict Dis
cussed by PIaywright-MiIi-
tarism of All Nations Is
Blamed.
British Must. Behave Reason
ably in Imminent Day Of
Reckoning, He Declares in
Long Article.

LONDON, Nov. 16.-George Bernard
Shaw has an article thirty-two pages
in length in the New Statesman bear
ing the title, Common Sense About the
War"
The playwright discusses the position
Of Europe which led to the war. the
position of Europe at present. and the
position which the democrats should
strive to bring about.
While stating powerful case for
war, he begins the article characteristic
cally by brushing aside the case for war
as stated by everybody else. While at
tackine the Prussians, he contends that
they are not the only people of Europe
who were guilty of warlike passions in
the years preceding the war. :
When the German fire-eaters drank
to The Day. they were drinking to the
day of which the Navy League fire.
eaters first said. It's bound to come
Therefore. let US have no more nonsense
about the Prussian wolf and the British
lamb. the Prussian Machiavelli and the
English evangelist We cannot shout
for years that we are boys of the bull
dog breed and then suddenly pose as
gazelles.
Day of Reckoning.
NO, when Europe and America come
to settle treaty that will end this
husiness-for America is concerned in IT
IS much as we are-they will not deal
with us as 1ovable. innocent victims of
a treacherous tyrant and savage sol
diery. They will have to consider how
these two incorrigibly pugnacious and
inveterately snobbish peoples. who have
sne ried at one another for forty years
with bristling hair and grinning fangs,
ard who are now rolling over with
teeth in one another's throats. are to
be tanned into trusty watchdogs of the
peace Of the world.
Il am sorry to spoil the saint1v image
with a halo which the British lingo
journalist sees just now when he looks
in the glass, but it must be done IL we
are to behave reasonably in the immi-
merit day If reckoning"
Meme the less, Mr.. Shaw throws the
immediate responsibility for the wal
chiefly on Austria and Germany.
The ultimatum to Servia, he says,
was the escapade of dotard and a
worse crime than the assassination that
provoked it. Peace was really on the
cards. The sane game was to play for
it. Instead. Germany few at Frances
The Washington times., 1914-11-16
Protests Arrests On Ninth Street.

To the Editor Of the Mail Bag:
II is certainly about time the news
naners should take up the indiscretioa
e1hibited by the police In ar28tnD
"mashers', in Ninth street norANese
If they persist i'm taking into custody
innocent men the business which has
been brjlt up in the thoroughfare IN
the last few years will be ruined.
I saw two policemen arrest sevsrd
Young fellows the other evening vine
had inst met each other and shook
hands. The young men protested that
they had been standing on the sTees
hardly a minute. Nevertheless, thsy
we're taken in a patrol wagon to the
First precinct, where they each de-
posted 81 for their appearances In court.
Neither appeared in court, because p
have done so would have meant IN
loss of a days pay, S.. to regain
The Washington times., 1914-11-16
More About Hah-HoHdaya

To the Editor Of the Mail Bag:
It Is ridiculous for anybody to suE1ee
that we be required to 20 to WORK -
$50 a. m IL we should be allowed 80.
urday half holidays all the year ROUND
We get only thirty days annual leave
thirty days sick leave (Which nearly a
of us take), Christmas. New 1eeH
THANKSGIVING Day, half day Christmas
eve. half day before New Year, Decora-
ton Day, half day every Saturday -
the summer and a few more extra hoir
DAYS during the year. We should -
allowed at least three months In the
summer so that we can go to Atlantic
City or other resorts, and our arduoW
daily labors should not begin until moo
and end by 2 or 8 o. o'clock- We shorld
also be granted permission to stay a
home whenswe want to go shopping o.
have something else to attend to- We
should not be compelled TO so to ofnco
to Get our paw 1t should be sent TO ~
GOVERNMENT EMPLOYE NO. 8.
The Washington times., 1914-11-16

hammered his whole western line
back the way it had come.
Once more the Kaiser left his
eastern domain exposed to the Rus
sian advance and hurried REINFORCE
ments to his hard-driven troops in
France. This enabled him to hold
fast for weeks in northern France
from the Vosges mountains on one
boundary to the North Sea on the
other in vast combat, bloody but
deadlocked. 1t enabled him to take
Antwerp and to make those thunder
bolt assaults upon the channel ports
during long days and nights Of
slaughter yielding nothing but vast
losses.
Meanwhile once again the Rus
slams, virtually unchecked, came on
against Austria and Germany like
tidal wave.
If the Kaiser, to stop the Russians
second time, has been compelled to
weaken his forces in France, the
allies there, after winning the long
User battle, may be able for the sec
ond time to hurl his lines still fur
ther back.
The longer this gigantic conflict
Of endurance goes on the clearer it
becomes that the Kaiser is not
strong enough in men, dauntless
though their valor be, to fight sue
cessfully all the allies, those on his
right side and those on his left side,
at one and the same time.
The Washington times., 1914-11-16
The Silver
Lining
Edited by ARTHUR BAER.

Now that fashionable young ladies are
wearing skunk furs. the young men
have a perfect right to eat onions.
It's all right. The Dove Of Peace
amt altogether lost. Secretary Bryan
has its Bertillon measurements.
From all accounts. the foot-and-mouth
disease is almost as contagious as a
yawn In q Grove ded street car.
The autumn leaves are falling soft
and low. Got to. II they didn't. the
Anti-Noise Society would get on their
trail
Reason the average suburbanite views
philosophicalIy the time when he will
return to the dust, is because dust
doesn't cling to you the way mud docs.
Old man IL seriously considering
taking the self starter or the car and
putting 1t on the front door key hole.