The Washington herald., 1914-02-22
YOUR UNCLE LISHA
Humanity Might Be Better. Also Might Be Worse

, stead of sheIled. took It along and
waited for Providence. The next year
the man bought fifty bushels Of pota-
toes of me. When he came after them
1 insisted that 1t was nifty bushels in
the ground. and he had TO dig them
out himself. You don't have to kill a
fellow-man 10 get even with him.
After a snow fall L wait TO see IL my
neighbor Is going to get out with his
shovel and clear his walk. He waits to
see what / am going to do. and as a
consequence neither walk is cleaned, and
the public must wade to their knee in the
snow. ! think it mighty mean Of my
neighbor.
1 like a man with the milk Of hu-
man kindness in his composition, but
believe ! did swear a little the other
night when a pedestrian rung my bell
at midnight to tell me that there was a
ring around the moon. and that IL the
family needed any table molases 1t had
better be ordered the first thing in the
morning.
In midwinter I am perfectly willing
to lend my garden hose to my neIghbor
to sprinkle his lawn. and I have found
that In midsummer he Is perfectly willing
to lend me his snow-shovel or handsled.
A few OF us arc making this q pretty
good world to live in
When I counted my change after a
grocer. he resented II as an imputation
on his honesty. When I showed him that
he had given me 10 cents too much he
tried to take out IS. There is not much
in life to encourage a grocer or a Gus
toner.
The editor who committed suicide that
he might tell his readers under a scare
head what the next world Is like must
have been somewhat chagrined when
central replied to him: THE line hasn't
been working for the last three months"
The Connecticut preacher who prayed
for rain and got It, and had the foun-
tains OF his house washed away and his
horse drowned, is much put out that his
congregation won't make good his loss
He is told that he ought to have specified
the quantity desired. instead of being so
extravagant about II.
There are men to be arCued with
and men to be knocked down at once.
don't know how 1t is with YOU but
it has always been my luck to begin
to argue with the one who should get
the punch before the talk. Hence, the
eye that 1 carry in mourning.
Some folks say that what politicians
say about each other during the heat of
a campaign should be passed over as
mere BLUM. Don't you believe II. That Is |
the only time they ever tell the truth |
about each other. At all other times they .
are engaged in addition. divisions, and |
praise Of each other.
I think 1 know a hundred men and
women who quote the Golden Rule every |
day of their lives, but / don't think 1 |
know one that practices it oftener than
once year, and then by accident. Still, |
II Is well to have some humorous reading
matter about the house.
I had been lionizing and giorifying a
certain man for ten years before 1 ever /
saw him. Ten minutes after setting eyes
on him he was no longer a hero. He had |
a wart on his chin and was lop-shoul-
dered. A great man should remain hid
den from public view.
When I made II a practice to tell the
truth, no matter who was struck by the
flying splinters. 1 was called a liar four
times out of five. When made a change
and became a liar every one seemed
anxious to believe I was telling the
truth. We want both truth and lies, but
they must be a palatable mixture Money
refunded If not as advertised.
There are those who would make US be-
ieve that the mercantile business has
100 per cent over twenty years
ago. An old fogy begs to be excused IL
he can't see IL except in one direction
The other day a salesman spent half an
hour trying to make me believe that a
o per cent pair of cotton socks was half
WOOL. Twenty years ago he wouldn't
lave wasted ten minutes on the subject,
moving that only came in after a
cent handkerchief. /,
They tell US that the next fifty years
re going to witness the most wonder
vi changes in the world. I shan't be
live to see them, but I hope that Dea-
on Pardon, who sold me I'VE bushels of
rost-bitten potatoes last spring, will see
lis way clear to hand IS to one OF my
leirS
Once when I found a wallet contain
ne 500 on the highway I was sorely
empted to convert the dough to my
wn use 1 had the foresight, however,
closely scan the bills, and finding
hem base counterfeits, I FASTENED to
nd an owner and be told by him that ,
was the only honest man in the ,
ounty.