davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30
Globe Sights
BY THE ATCHIsON GLOBE.

How can man have the courage to
sell liver?
Isinglass in slit skirts will be the next
thing out.
he fact that you think it ought to hap
pen is no sign it will.
Placing the blame rarely ends a contro-
versy; 1t complexities it.
The trouble with the man who can eat
anything is that he does it.
With some people being on time means
to be about an hour ahead.
Too much of the available supply of en-
thusiasm is devoted to cheering.
Some men insist a post graduate
course in the school Of experience.
Another way to reduce disappointment
is not to expect too much from anna
teur performance.
Brag on a mans wisdor. and woman's
looks II you hope to make a hit with your
line Of flattery.
Most people are a little superstitious.
even those who know their superstitions
are foolshness.
The average fly dies young but it is the
mechanical toy which sets the low record
for period Of activity.
One reason one can keep lodge secrets
is that they are SO dull it would be hard
to interest anyone in telling them
Before they were married she said
sweetly: II had such a pleasant evening"
After marriage, Wasn't the show rot
temp
Tn, saddest spectacle is that of q meek
little man who is supposed to fight the
battles Of heavyweight and aggressive
wife. - u
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30
BECAUSE HE'S ~ FRIEND.

BECAUSE HE'S MY FRIEND.
He may be six kinds Of q liar
He may be ten kinds OF a fool;
He may be q blooming high flyer,
Without reason or rule
There may be q shadow above him
OF ruin and woes that fmpend:
I may not respect-but love him
love him because he's my friend.
know he has faults by the billion,
But his faults are a portion Of him:
] know that his records vermillion-
He's far from a sweet seraphim.
But he's always been square with yours
truly"
Ever ready to give or to lend:
And though he is wild and unruly.
love him because he's my friend.
I knock him. know; but do 1t
The same to his face as away:
And II other folks knock-well they rue
it
And wish they'd had nothing to say.
I never make diagrams of him.
No maps of his soul have penned:
Fer I don't analyze-I just love him
observation-disclosures he's my ff1eno.
w. r. Eaton in Denver Tribune
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30
Jayhawker Jots

AS the Pratt Union puts it: Knock
and the gang knocks with you. boost
and you boost alone.
Related for true story by the Atch-
ison Globe: A family that. had occu-
pied a. house eight months notified its
landlord that il intended to move out
The landlord inquired what was the
matter. I'VE have just found out"
said one Of the members Of the family,
sthat there aren't any faucets on the
bathtub."
One reason why SO many marriages
are failures is that too many women
expect their husbands to be exact
counterparts Gf the heroes in their IA
vorite- novels, wrote Miss Carlson OF
the Lindsborg News recently; and the
Mankato Monitor comments: Yes. when
girl marries one that to her is a
hero, honest. truthful industrious and
of clean habits and finds, too late. that
he is largely void Of these admirable
qualities, she is remarka BILE character
If she can still pursue the hero wor-
ship. ,
There is really no occasion for feel
ing discouraged and dropping out
even if your friends outstrip you in
running the first round of the race,
observes Miss Carlson in the Linds-
borg News. 1t is perseverance that
counts. In 1861 a class of men grad
Two OF these young men were close
friends. One of them stood at the
foot of the class. The other was the
valedictorian. The young man who
on commencement day stood at the
foot of the class is now president of
the institution and the valedictorian is
the-janitOr.
Musings of the Village Deacon in the
Osborne County Farmer: A real smart
man is one who can trade philosophy
for groceries and coal. 3. Fathers
money that used to make the mare go
now goes for gasoline and new inner
tubes. These fellows who are eter-
nally Boosting that they always say
what they think. you will notice, have
ALFRED good control of their thinker
|. A letter with a one-cent stamp
on IT gets about as far with a business
man as a hard luck story does with a
railroad company. Men are get
ting so they lie about the amount of
coal they burn in their furnaces as
easily as they used to lie about the
number Of quail they had shot.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30
Kansas Comment
LIFE-BELTs FOR THE rARs.

LIFE-BELTS FOR THE TARS.
Three-fourths Of the crew of the British
Dover. were saved. This proportion is ex-
ceedingly large compared with the losses
on other cruisers blown up by torpedoes
Greasy. Aboukir and Hogue were rescued.
1t is reported from London that some one
aboard the Hermes thought of using large
petrol tins, of which there were about
400. for supports. AS there was consider
able time while the ship was settling the
tins were emptied. the shoppers fastened
down and ropes attached to give men a
good hold. Many valuable lives were
savet- by these supports. Not long ago
the admiralty announced the adoption OF
sailors on ships in the submarine area.
Presumably the admiralty knows what Is
that life belts should not be stored on ali
ships of war likely to sink quickly. Tho
extra weight or room is nothing. II there
are several minutes before the ship sinks
these could be procured and fastened on
petrol tins could be emptied and re-
matter much compared with the loss IF
life. Nearly 1000 British seamen went
down with the Aboukir. Cressy and
Hogue-simply fer the lack of life-savins
Toronto Mail and Empire.
COURAGE IN WAR.
The highest type of martial heroism il
not the dashing adventurer of romance
but the mudstained man in the trenches
over yonder-the French peasant, tho
Belgian artisan, the German farmer or
university student, the British clerk or
peer Or workman: men like ourselves,
are enduring unimaginable horrors for
the sake of their ideals. Their courage
proves again that the human spirit still
rises superior to any test that fate can
devise. Mans genius for destruction has
make great flights from the flint war
club to the machine gum from the tube
n hA <prlr,
but not yet has it distanced his courage
or produced perils that his spiritual con-
vlctions Will not lead him to brave for the
truth as he sees it-PhtladeIphia North
American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30
From, Other Pens
OBSERVATIONS FOR PEACE.

FHEHAHAIlONS FUR FEACE.
The duel to the death az a custom
among individuals has been made al
most obsolete. Is the best way to dis
continue duels to arm every fellow
with rapier, give every fellow q pis-
toll. organize everybody az a duellist, or
q second, or q surgeon or q litter car
rier? A practical and efficient society
measuring the terrific toll of acciden-
tai fires tried to cut down the fire
saturated with kerosene. Uttered with
papers and shavings. piled with kind
lings. strewn with matches? A prac-
tical and efficient world learning that
many diseases can be eradicated or at
least rendered infreQuent. tried to rid
humanity Of plaques. How? Do We
carry test-tubes or microbes around
with US everywhere? Do we have vast
of disease germs ready to
ting rid OF disease? Children unable
to distinguish dangers for themselves
must be safeguarded by more exper-
fenced persons. How do you safeguard
the baby? Do you give him daddy's
razor to play with, catch him nice.
active wasps and hornets and scor-
pions for toys? BY what logic. then. is
the path to peace through vestibules OF
rifles, and cannOns, swords and pistols,
guns and bayo1. Is. explosives and en-
gines of stupendous destruction? The
duel was not discontinued by gymnas-
tics on the trigger or by cutting seal
lops with a sworn, fireproofing Is not
sought in kindling nor in combustibles,
health is not sought by juggling
germs, safety Is not hunted through
hazards so we fail to understand how
by standing by the guns.-Wichita
EAGLE.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30
HOW WAR RUINS FARMINc.

In the current issue of Farm and
Fireside the national farm paper pub
lished at Springfield. Ohio. David Starr
Jordan. president Of Leland Stanford
university, publishes a most interesting
article entitled 1.-The Farmer and the
War in which he shows how in the
path of armies the producer becomes
helpless. He compares our peace-loving
and prosperous middle western farm
ing country with Macedonia which was
physically endowed as well as our mid
die west. but which unfortunately has
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30
QUAKER sfEDIrAT1oNs.
[From the Philadelphia Record.

from the Philadelphia Record1
New Years resolutions are really old
ones with the rust rubbed on
Discretion is often Cowardice masquer-
aiding as Valor's better part.
The people who go out looking for
trouble might just as well stay at home,
A man must be an egotist to boast that
ne never has the wool pulled over his rs.
A second piece of pie exemplifltes a
smn boys idea of gettin his Just
Unfortunately. bills for shoes and stock
lngs are not the only bills we have to foot
In high finance some men get in on the
men.
TO be proof against flattery a woman
must nave absolute confidence in her
looking-glass A
There is really some hope for the Young
man who admits there aresa few things
he doesn't know. ,'-''ss
David had just slugged Goliath with
stone II guess it's good thing for mo
don't live In glass house." unused the
young giant killer -o
BlObs-Wigwag boasts that he never
takes advantage of his friends SlohbsN
Hun! Wigwag doesn't know enough To
take advantage of his own Opportunities.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30

and now only a deep regard. such a.
he would have felt for his brothers
wife. remained. David cursed him
self and his tickle nature, but knew
not how to stem the current Of events
that seemed likely to hurl him and
Martha over the matrimonial borders
He felt vaguely that Martha was not
desperately in love with him and that
1t would not break her heart were he
to be quito frank with her, but David
recotled from the hurt he might in
flict. The little Irish girl smiled upon
him and David's business held him
another fortnight In Belfast.
Martha had intended to wait until his
return TO London before terminating her
engagement to David Upon learning Of
another two weeks. she felt rs II this
would be = good opportunity. She wrote
him a letter which blamed him not a little
having placed his friend in such a posi-
ton. And then she told him everything.
II was hard to post the letter and yet
mar Martha could mot help feeling that the
hurt would not be severe: II David had
cared 30 much he could have found ex-
cuse Tor seeing her before this.
1t was five days before she received
her answer-David had been unable to put
his answer to her letter on paper. He
had wanted to be honest with her-to tell
her all as frankly as she had told him
And 1t had been difficult.
When Martha read the letter telling of
the little Irish girl she laughed. The Bel
efan was in the room when she received
It and he had asked permission to read
David's letter.
IT'S an Irish gfri!'' she said.
The Belgian started. "What?-Davfd? 20
ne asked. as II he had been guessing at
the truth.
Martha nodded
Write him that it's-a Belgian-with
YOU" he laughed.
Martha blushed. Tive already done
1t, she confessed. And then she ex-
planned everything to him to his entire
satlsfaction-(Copyrig 1914 by the
Mcclure Newspaper SyudfcateA
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30
Euening Chat
Who Said What?
BY RUTH CAMERON.


Just about once in SO often 1 am
astonished by tracing some familiar
quotation to an unexpected source,
and I am quite sure other people have
the same experience. For instance,
TIE other evening after a heated dis
cussion as to whether a certain line
came from the Bible or Shakespeare,
we found it in Benjamin franklin
sayings. God helps those who help
themselves.)
There are a great many quotations
which Ire familiar to almost all of
us. Yet for all he has heard them so
many times. the average person cannot
place half of them. So just for fun
am going to give you .- list of excerpts
today that am sure will be thorough
ly familiar to you. II you are inter-
ested, see how many Of them you can
place.
A Game for the Family.
Perhaps you will even be sufficient
ly interested to bring up the subject
in your family circle this evening and
get your family to make out competi-
tive lists. Tomorrow I shall repeat
the list, giving the sources from which
the quotations come.
BY the ..-2y, when you think a quo
tation is from Shakespeare suppose
you go a step further and guess the
play: and when you think 1t is from
the Bible, try to place it in the proper
book.
Here are the quotations.:
Uneasy lies the head that wears a
AN honest mans the noblest work
Of Cod
Handsome is that handsome does
Touch not. taste not. handle not. -
I'm the spring. the young mans
fancy lightly turns to thoughts of
love-"
The love of money is the root of
all evil"
my life is one dem'd. horrid
grind
"And thereby hangs tale.''
"Fie. fob and FUN.
1 smell the blood of British man."
BE sure you're right, then go
ahead
Hope springs eternal in the human
breast
"And what is so. rare as a. day in
June"
"A living dog is better than a dead
Ii :"
silence gives consent
Journey end in lovers meetings -
IF eyes were made for seeing,
Then beauty is its own excuse for be-
ing"
''The laborer is worthy of his hire -
Nothing is certain but death and
taxes
There never was a good war or a
bad peace
ITO err is human, to forgive ii-
vine.''
I'm that fierce light that beats upon
q throne"
Give the devil his due"
IA young man married il q young
man that's married"
Much learning doth make thee
mad"
IF a man can write a better book
or preach q better sermon. or make a
better mousetrap than his neighbor,
though his hut be In the forest the
world will make a beaten path to his
door"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30

been for 1000 years in a position where
war has constantly interrupted its de-
velopment. In the following extract
taken from his article Doctor Jordan
gives a picture Of Macedonia:
There were no houses standing along
the road. Everybody lived in the vii
lagos. even though the lands were ten
miles away. And the villages were
crowded just az closely as the houses
could stand.
And the farming was not very good.
The ground was barely scratched by
the plow. Often in good land one
would see strips covered with black
berries and wild flowers. Other tracts
are overgrown with scrubby oaks and
sometimes with wild lilacs, although
not big tree was left standing to
make forest. The Turks once held
Macedonia. and it would seem that
they hated trees. The Chinese have a
proverb that where armies quarter
thorns and thistles grow and armies
have Quartered in Macedonia for TWEEN
ty centuries. And for this reason there
can be no good farms. The cattle are
dwarfish and give but little milk They
are used. with the primitive European
buffalo. as beasts of burden. Horses
are few and small and mostly vicious.
The sheep. the same breed they had in
Judea in Bible times. are handsome
and active, but carrying very little
wool; a couple OF pounds a year would
be big average.
There would be no use in improving
the stock when the soldiers may come
any minute. And between bands OF
soldiers come the bands of brigands
A brigand in Macedonia. as in Mexico.
Korea, and China, is a farmer who has
quit. If he can't make a living on the
farm. or If someone has seized his farm
he becomes an armed tramp.
1.-THE farmer who is rich and prosper
Gus today may have to leave the coun-
try tomorrow on two hours notice, by
the light of his blazing house. with
whatever he can carry on his back
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30
LEND A HAND.

Nearly half a million children can
be released from exacting and injuri-
Gus work during the New Year ac-
cording to a statement issued recently
by the national child labor committee
announcing the new campaign it is
launching. on behalf of the Palmer
Owen child labor bill now pending in
congress.
The first step in this campaign will
be a national conference in Washing
ton, D. c., on the 5th and 9Th of
January, at which Senator Owen, Sen
ator Kenyon, Hon. A. Mitchell Palmer
of Pennsylvania, Hon. Victor Murdoch
of Kansas, Julia c. Lathrop of the
children's bureau, Jane Adams of
C.licag. Jasper X. Brinton of Phila-
delphia, William H. Maltbie Of Balti-
more and others will speak.
The next move will the observ-
ance of child labor day on January "a
and Is, when 10000 clergymen and
school principals throughout the
country will address churches and
schools on the subject of the Palmer
Owen bill. Later in February, a IS
panel exhibit prepared by the COM
mittee will be opened in San Francis
CO as a part of the Panama exposition.
The ommittee explains, however,
that this campaign for a federal law
will not take the place of state work
but tina representatives of the COM
mittee will appear before 5 state leg
islatures in connection with child la
Dor and compulsory school attendance
bills. The Palmer-Owen bill would
eliminate the 10-year-old cannery
children and the youngsters under IA
in the cotton mills; it would back up
the efforts Of state authorities to en-
force laws that already exist; 1t would
shorten the hours of the 100000 chill
dren who are legally working a 3. 10
or 11-hour day; and it would do away
with the Ubiquitous night work Of chill
dren in glass factories. But only i'm
proved state laws can deal with the
equally important matters of the edu-
cation and health of children who go
to work. or regulate their employment
in stores, messenger service and other
occupations in which interstate COM
merce Is not involved"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30
Journal Entries

Being sport" is not accomplishing
very much.
The best way to do a thing is usually
mt the easiest.
When duty conflicts with pleasure it
usually has to stand aside.
The best part about moneys great
laxative power is that it Is not of the
noisy variety.
More people would have better luck
in the game of life if they took few
more chances.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News.

GFrom the Chicago News.1
Even one enemy is one too many.
Poverty has taken many a hard fail o,t
OF ambition. AA Jul
dried apple. ''Ae q
BUT there are times when it is better to
leap before looking ~
Anyway, the trusts are unable to corner
the sunshine market e-
stre etc to5 mas KS h0th sSpds meet by
A baby never talks back in the language
Its mother uses in talking to it,
So many of US imagine that we made
parents.
Young man. the girls with eyes like a
ostrich. "
PROBABLY no woman ever hated man
Tor being in love with her. but many a
woman mas hated man because he was
Indifferent to her charms
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30

When he came to his house his mother
sat In the doorway knitting. She looked
up as Billy came in the gate and jumped
to her feet
You needn't come in here" she said.
going in and closing the door: II don't
feed tramps," she said through the closed
door. for Billy Pig had come up to the
door and was saying: Let me in. moth
err: don't you know me?'
Don't you call me mother" said
Madam Pig. III had . son that looked
like you 1 would disown him"
But I am Billy Pig" said poor BiIly.
Let me in: am hungry
You win not get anything to eat here.
away I will set the dog on you"
Billy Pig smiled n this, even though he
was SO unhappy. for he knew there was
no dog In the house.
Il am not afraid Of dogs" he said. and
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30

Isn't it reasonable to conclude that
seasonable and normal weather are
varieties that are not best for agricul-
ture? With the exception of corn
Kansas crops never fiourished like
they did during the year just ending,
and yet it was year of unusual eli
matte freaks, even for Kansas.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30

With Uncle Ss-- warning John Bull
that there is too much British inter-
ference with American shipping and
with Germany demanding the recall
of several American consuls to Bel
GUM. the prospects Of the United
States becoming embroiled in the war
would be more disturbing were it not
for the peace-at-any-price protagon-
lists and ''watchful walters on the job
at Washington
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30

It's possible. occasionally. to find
a couple of humans who will agree
about something. But were there
ever two thermometers in the same
locality that registered the same de-
grees of temperature at the same
time? Probably i t.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30

There is always a last straw. "Un-
Gle Bob Knox, the 97-year-old mat
rimonial enthusiast of Dalton. Ca,
doesn't think he will ever marry
again. His seventh wife, a bride of
Christmas day. has left him and
promises a suit for divorce and ALI
mony. If she is successful in it,
Uncle Bob will have the unusual dis
tinct.on of paying alimony to no less
than three former wives.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30

Topeka was also a happy choice for
the convention of the intercollegiate
Prohibition association because it pre-
sents all kinds of proof that a pro-
hibitory law can be enforced as easily
and as well as any other law, where
there's n will to do so. Thus is To-
peka a valuable object lesson to the
delegates to this assemblage.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30

Evidently the picking was not very
rich in the particular Mexican presi-
Dental office that fell to Senior Cutter
rez. Else it isl't likely that he would
have tired of it so quickly, and re-
signed. But even without him, Mex
leo has a-plenty of presidents and
other rulers on hand Just now.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30
Health Hints.

(By DIR. Bohunkus Jones.)
Cold Feet-Cold feet are a menace al
ways and you should avoid them when
possible, either your own or your wife's.
A man who has cold feet never gets ahead
in a business professional way. There
is q cure for cold feet Put them in a gas
over and II they don't warm up within an
hour or two, there is no hope for you.
Eating-A person should be very careful
in the matter of diet. Never eat anything
before retiring unless 1t IL something light,
like a mess Of corn beef and cabbage or
two or three pieces of mince pie. Heavier
food than those mentioned is apt to give
a person the indyspepsia. Never eat more
than a square yard OF picked -tripe at
one time.
Observation-Disclosures is a great habit.
Always chew the soup thoroughly ninety
times before swallowing. An ordinary
breakfast which begins at o'clock
should be chewed until nearly 10 o'clock
to get the best results. You may miss
several important business engagements
but what are a few business engage
ments compared to pql5sect hsalths
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30

Reports which have come from
Petrograd from time to time indicate
that in the aggregate the failing
back" of the Austrians has been suf-
ficiently extensive to carry them clean
or the earth. and a good halfway to
Mars.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-12-30

Secretary Mohler. of the Kansas de-
partment of agriculture. is moving in
the right direction with his plans to
issue a report every month on the
condition of the crops. Under such a
system the agony will not be unneces-
sarily delayed when the crops are do
ing poorly. and the opportunities for
enthusiasm will be more numerous
when they are doing we'll