Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1914-09-03
A MODERN
PROPOSAL
Copyright, Puck
BY TOM p. MORGAN.

S the primeval oyster, which, &C,
1A cording to science, was two feet
slong, has shrunk to its present we'll,
slmgh microscopic dimensions, in like
lmanner the stately, longdrawn, court
lship of the leisurely past-vAherein
kthe lover, having at his command all
1.-THE time there WIS in the world and
lall the words In the vocabulary as Ut
hthen existed, felt that he had not done
"a proper job unless he used up both
Ndwindled down to the rapid-f1re click,
Sitypop method OF the swift and busy
Npresent.
To-day, young Percival Yannawgy,
Eenamored of pretty Maybelle Sweet,
i but handicapped by an embarrassing
impediment in his speech, rises from
his knees, throws his hands aloft in
despair, rushes from her presence and
off in the general direction of a sui.
Acide's grave that Is not in use at this
kmoment, then, struck by a luminous
kidea, pulls down his hands, passes in.
to a shop which happens to be handy.
Fpurchases .modishly-garbed lay.ffg.
ure, or dummy, tucks 1t under his arm
and hurries to his apartment to prac.
Htice love-making with the assistance
of the dummy. Said apartment is but
across the air.shaft from that of May.
belle. She looks from her window,
land, upon beholding Percival indus
trtously proposing to an unknown
fwoman, expresses her stern disappro.
baton by means of appropriate ges.
tures, and hurries out.
Percival, with naught to distract
Rswiftly progresses to the point of be.
ling accepted by the beautiful lay-fig
ure, whereat he embraces her ener
Hgetically, but Immediately inaguratee
"a spirited lovers quarrel, boxes he1
ears, dances "A highland fling OF Slee
at his success, cocks his hat niftily
Gon the south side of his head, and
hastens out MD sooner has he gone
lthan MaybeIle enters. af1ame with
kjealousy, assaults her supposed rival
kthen discovers her mistake and is fill
led with deft commingling of hun1il
iation and triumph. A moment late1
1she hears Percfxal returning We aTs
lat as great loss as Maybelle to I'm
bagine how she will extricate hersef
ifrom the unpleasant contretemps
But,-hurrah,-shed denudes the unre
,sisting dummy of Its opera cloak, don't
the same, thrusts the dummy into 4
AScloset which yawns in convenient
Aproximity, and stands. the picture o
inviting docility when Percival enters
Will he discover the imposition
kOh, no!-not yet Lowe, we are pleas
led to note, is stiIl blind. Perciva
promptly resumes where he but ;
hshnrt while ago left of, and W.
fshndder in anticipatory sympathy TO
1.-THE embarrassment which we are con
vincad Is bound to speedily be his
No 1aggard in love is Young Percival
In sepen-eighths of minute from th'
1time OF his return he has fiapped hi
arms aTound Maybelle's yielding form
land fmg1anted an impassloned kiss ol
her tempting lips. This, OF course
Ills followed by lucid explanations upol
Hthe part of both, resulting almost in
HstantIy in complete reconciliation
HMaybelle then hauls the unresistinl
i flayfigure from the closet and declare
THAT never again shall Percival con
nfront the necessity of practicing on
Ndummy. So determined is Perciyal t,
/ Emake his ratification of the proposi
tioI emphatic that he hurls tn
4 Ainnocent dummy out of the fourth
window, and resumes the delight
Sful task of misplacing the acquiescen
task of misplacing the acquiescen
ribs of Maybelle.
We will now. If you please, hastel
down to the street, where we arriv
in time to have the privilege of OF
serving the dummy fall on the hea'