The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1914-07-09
UNCLE JOHNS STORY.
Started With Bears and Drifted to
Boys.

putty nigh every story they is, but If
you two little fellows'll come set on
my knee I'll see f l can ramble back
through the days when your OIL Uncle
John was a boy an find sumpin'
that'll interest you.
Uncle John, hale, ruddy, and nigh
onto his three score years and ten,
shifted his quid of tobacco from the
left side to the right, spat refectively
and accurately-into the glowing
oak wood fire, gathered his two neph-
ews, aged ten and twelve, each to a
knee, and began.
"F'ust and foremost, boys, I'm a.
goin' to throw away this chaw OF
terbaccer, cause I can't talk good
with it in my mouth, an I don't be-
lieve it's good example to set you
boys, nohow. l been chawin' it for
nigh onto 60 years now, but if I had
it all to do over again the stuff'd nev-
er 20 in my mouth. Oh, guess
I'm too old to quit it now, for it's
mighty hard, as I've told you before,
to teach an OIL dog new tricks, or
to break him of his OIL uns for that
matter; an besides, don't calculate
got 80 many more years to stay
here, nohow. But if wuz ten years
younger I'd quit it or bust. Same
way bout smokin', too. It's sorry
sort O. habit we picked up from the
Injuns, they say, only we made it
wuss by eatin' the stuff as well as
smokin' it. Guess leavin' sich a
dirty habit with us wuz bout the
only way the poor 1njuns could get
even with US fer stealin' all their
land from 'em, and from what the
gov'ment says we pay fer terbaccer
every year, guess the debts about
even.
Eyes. I learned how to use terbac-
Ger when l was a little fellow, only so
high an I guess I learnt mainly
cause 1 thought it was smart, and
like a man to do it, jest like | s'pose
lots O. young boys think these days.
We started by smokin' cross-vine and
corn silks and sich stuff, and then,
when we got big enough to git
little terbaccer we got to goin' off in
the woods TO smoke and chaw that.
All the time we thought we wuz
doin' big trick, cause we'd seen the
men smokin' and chawin'.
'.Now, boys, I amt sayin' that
chawin' and smokin' terbaccer is sich
turrible crime, for I've knowed
some mighty good men that done it.
In my opinion, the meanest man is
the one who wrongs his neighbor, an
tells lies and sich things as that, and
generally the feller who uses ter
baccer don't do these things any
more'n the feller who don't. But l
been q thinkin', boys, that there's
mighty sight O. good money bein'
spent for this Injun weed! What
I've spent fer it myself in the last
60 years 1 figure would buy good
farm, and there's lots O. men that
use more'n l do. There's neighbor
Bill Johnson-you know him. To
nv certain knowledge, Bills boys
an gals amt goin' to school this win
ter cause they amt got no shoes,
and Bills wife still makes the faml-
ly's clothes with her fingers cause
Bills too poor to buy her sewin'
machine. Still Bill chaws reg'lar
an when he goes to town with, the
boys he thinks it's mighty smart to
set 'em all up to segars. Now l
don't want to be unkind to Bill, fer
hold that a feller orta be lowed to do
as he pleases, so long as he don't
hurt nobody else. But blamed II l
don't believe he's hurtin' somebody
else when he keeps them pore little
kids out o school jest because he
wants to smoke his segars and chaw
terbaccer. Then they's another
thing: Don't pear to me like man. S
treatin' his boys jest right to set
'em sich an example. It's the nat
uralest thing in the world for boy
to think his daddy's the greatest
feller they is, an to want-a-do what
ever he does. Small wonder, then, I
say, that if the OF man does things
that amt exactly right the boys is a.
goin' to come mighty near doin' 'em,
too.
"Boys, do you know what I thinks S
one O. the finest things in all crea-
ton? I'll tell you; A young man,
tall, clean, strong, an straight as
one O. them pines down in the woods;
a lad with a clear eye, clean skin
an a clean heart; feller who don't
tell lies an who believes in treatin
all men square. I've lived a long
70 that