The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-04-26

masheen shops with lot iv boys studyin Fr-rinch in wan part iv tn foundhry an tn officers settin' around tn dinner table an sayin' to each other: Don't touch that sasprilly. Percy; it's corked
 Sure there's nanny another old fellow in other thrades thin tn sea wud be surprised if he come back an found how things has changed since tn days whin gintleman was not gin tleman if he wasn't cross-eyed by siven o'clock at night. King Alcohol no longer rules tn sea or tn land Tn ladies have got that binivoint op dishpot his knees beggin' fr mercy an they're sayin' to him, Did ye have mercy on us?' an ar-re gettin' ready to chop off his wicked ol' head. Take a dhrink, me boy, wheth- CT ye need 1t or not Take 1t now. It may be yeer last. l used to laugh at tn pro-hybition- ists; l used to laugh thim to scorn. But I laugh no more; they've got us tn run. I wudden't be surprised at amy minyit if had to turn this emporyum into an exchange fir women's wurruk Whether ye like it or not in few years there won't be amy saloons to lure tn marrid man firm his home, furnish guests fir gr-reat asylums an jails an brighten up tn dark sthreets with their cheerful glow l don't care l wudden't mind if all tn liquor in tn wurrud was poored into tn lake It wud make people pay their wather tax with lighter heart
 But what I'd like to know is, whin all tn breweries an wine presses ar-re shut down, an th' pizened ivy hourishes on tn rooms iv tn magnificent distilleries iv Peory, what's goin' to happen? This here moppin' up iv alcohol is a quare thing an l can't make it out I've been studyn il fir nanny years an it looks to me ilya ind bav hob, n, oG+ d., harness iv civilization, tn same as ye see an ol' horse whn he IS turned loose in a pasture kick up his heels an roll in tn mud an tn older he is tn more ondignifed he looks don it. Hogan says that iver since man wint around with naw- thin on him but apron made iv skins he has burrowed in tn earth an climbed threes to find ,omething that looked nnocint which he cud .onvart into booze He says pigs an men ar-re th' on'y crathers that take nachrally to alcohol He says there ain't har'ly anything that grows on tn top iv tn arth that can't be turned into this wonderful karosene It's made out iv sugar cane, wheat, corn, potatoes, grapes, oats, palm threes, cactus, mares milk, beets, apples, carrots rice or articho1es, an man wud make it out iv mornin glories, egg plant, or rubber boots if he cud find nawthin' else Hogan says that Tn times gone Dy Wnln our ancestors nad no more thin shed their tails, they wint out an broke open bee hive, absthracted tn honey, an afther givin' tn oP lady enough to spread on tn childher's bread they stewed tn rest up into juice that made thim go out an attackt tn village constable with a stone hammer Hogan thinks alcohol is nicissry fir man, so that now an thin he can have good opinion v hinsilf ondisturbed be tn facts. He says that if men didn't have alcohol they'd have mysteries. like tn ladies. He says that whin tn distilleries ar-re closed down, as they surely will be, men will be foorced to make their own dhrinks an they'll do it. Yell see citizen goin' into his home with bunch iv sugar cane undher his arm or maybe some artichokes or bag iv potatoes an tn next thing ye see iv him he comes out in