The Washington herald., 1914-08-23

night, for the senior proctor Of Exeter
College, Rev. Mr.. Tozer, sallying forth
TO quell the disturbance, was grievously
assaulted by the town people, and though
he fought nobly. was, being rather aged
and stout at a great disadvantage until
the Pet came to his rescue.
When the riot was over and the towns
men victorious, Mr.. Tozer. who was
strict disciplinarian, said to the Pet:
Why have you not your gown on, sir?'
Speaking Different Tongues.
Il Ak your pardon. guv'nor." replied
the Pet. Il didn't 30 much care about
the morta1board. but I couldn't do moth
ing no how with tother thing. so l pock-
eted him. But some cove must have
gone and prigged him-for he amt here"
Il am unable to comprehend the na-
ture OF your language, sir" replied Jhe
proctor: Il desire TO know your name
and college, SIR
The proctor was indignant-he thought
he was being made game Of" Charles
Larkyns stepped forward and told the
truth
20. indeed" said the proctor, well.
well; you have used your skill TO very
great advantage and displayed pugilistic
powers not unworthy of the athletes and
mystics Of the noblest days Of Rome
AS palaestric you would have gained
palms in the Circus MaNimus"
The Pet stared at the proctor not
knowing any more what that worthy
man was talking about than the proc
tor had known what the Pet was talking
about before.
You see it is impossible for two men.
placed In widely sundered spheres of
life though fighting in the same scrap"
and speaking the same tongue, to talk to
each other and their words convey as
little meaning as II one spoke Arabic
and the other Choctaw.
The Hero Returns.
could go home on vacation. Restored to
the bosom Of his family. our hero be-
came a domestic idol. AS has been said
Of a greater man. They 1ncensed him
with the coffee pot and flung tea leaves
around him"
And the clothes he had on The
''shriekiest" sort of plaids of rainbow
hues, and a shirt with race horses
stamped on its broad front And-would
you believe it?-the lamb had a sort Of
swagger with him.
All the family agreed that his natural
attractions had been greatly enhanced
by his stay at Oxford. The servants
hall echoed the opinion of the drawing
room that "oxford had made quite a
man out of Mr.. verdant"
They placed the hero in a comfortable
armchair and grouped themselves for
the Delphic rites-the speaking of the
Oracle
Spoken by the Oracle.
Mrs. Green and Aunt Virginia sat Oh
a sofa at one side. Mary sat on a foot
stool at her brothers knee, while Miss
Fanny hung on the back Of the chair
on the left side and Miss Helen hung
over on the right side, gazing down with
looks of devotion. The stout squire stood
up on the left at a respectful distance.
A The Oracle-as all well-regulated ora
eles have since "Delos rose and Phoebus
sprang'-delivered himself Of a quantity
Of weli-considered and carefully prepared
utterances.
His anecdotes Of Oxford College life
had been studiously gotten up for home
consumption, and his description Of Ok
ford itself did credit to his memory. For
he had, only read his culIed passages
over two or three times in the Oxford
Guide Book
We'll" said Mr. Green when the Ora
Gle had, at length, run down, tell US
what you learned at Oxford"
why" replied our herd, Il have
learned to think for myself and not to
believe everything I hear. And think
can fight my way in the world. And
can chaff a cad"
"Chan a cad!" groaned Miss Virginia,
thinking it was something dreadful
And have learned to row-at least