The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

I one day, und den dot Chinaman he comes
| in und yells and swears und shumps
| around Iind almost makes me crazy. /
don't make him all out. but he says
kill his peesness und he vhill haf some
law suits on me, He goes out und tears
| der sign down, und dot makes eferytIng
like she vhas before. Purity queek a man
comes in und says he makes one honored
dollars on some horse races und eafer-
| body shall drink NIT him. i speak to
him dot vhas not der saloon, but der
cobbler shop, but il don't do him no
good. He grabs me by der hair .und
dances me around und yells for cocktails,
und vhas almost dead when some police
mans comes in und takes him on In
two hours a young man comes in nit a
bundle und and filings il at my head und
says:
Three shirts and fife collars, John,
und if you iron some dirt into 'em
vhill make you wish you vhas a cod
fish! Make me out some tickets mighty
queekv
81 can't do it; I vhas no laundry.
Who vhas you DEM
Il vhas der cobbler.'
But Why don't you say so? II you
try some more SMOKES on me you vhas
in der hospital for six months"
1T vhas like dot for three weeks"
said the cobbfer, as he drove the last
peg into the heel "One man he WANTS
dot saloon und one man he wants dot
Chinaman, und eaferbody vhas mad be-
cause l vhas a shoe shop. Some folks
like to bring me shoes to fix. Dey vhas
laughed at und don't come by me. Dot
little tailor makes me a sign dot vhas
a cobbler, but / don't haf him oop one
hour when a policemans stands in der
door und says:
so You vhas some shoe shops. eh?"
Eyes, sir"
"Und you repair some shoes?"
81 do"
''VheII, dot sign vhas no good. No
body was going to take dis shebang for
drug store
81 don't stand her no more. 1t vhss
too mOoch. / like my own place. und
i don't vhant to be saloon or a laun-
dry. l hunt oop dis place und moot out.
and now ! haf some place. Sometimes
man comes in here und says he likes
to hire a horse for two hours. but when
tells him I vhas no livery he don't
raise no row. Only yesterday a woman
opens der door und says:
Send me oafer two pounds OF butter
und quart of milk, und don't be more
ash two weeks about it,
''How can L do dot?" / says
"'Don't you be some creamery
mo, ma am. 1 vhas der German cob
bier"
"'oh-ah-I seeI Vhell. you cobbIer.
avhay und excuse me. My husband vhas
out all night last night nit der boys
und i vhas so mad / don't know some
creamery from a shoe shop"
Il don't come to dis place, howeffer,
until I make fool of myself agin. 1t
was der druggist what comes TO me und
says:
"Hans, ! know of der incest little shop |
in all dis city, und der rent vhas a mere |
trifie. You better grab it oop at once"
Il goes by dot place und l like it. I
don't look around moOch. und l vhas all
dertaker on one side und a doctor on der |
odder,' |
''Pelief me, mine frendts. il vhas some |
tings awful. About ten times a day a |
man come rushing in to shout:
Come along in a holy second! My |
wife she gets a ham bone in her throat
und vhas choke to death in two minutes"
But / vhas no DOCTOR" says.
Den who you vhas?"
Der cobbler."
Den take dot because you don't be
der Doctor
"Und he hits me some cuffs on der ears !,
dot makes my head big for two days. 1t
whas shust as bad init der undertaken
A man comes in und SAYS:
How mooch to bury an old man."
But l vhas no undertaken"
Der dyvel you Wasn't
Il vhas der cobbler"
you vhas a liar, und il you come out
I shall knock you blocks off,
''It vhas sooch day and night for four
weeks, and nopody comes near me to get
work done, und den 1 make some skis
II you vhas going to open an amusement
garden don't get between a graveyard
und some coffin shops,'