Grand Forks daily herald and the evening times., 1914-07-16
Krab KOnventiOn has Merry
Time Deciding What to do
With Wheeler and the Team

Say, what did WI call dat bunch
Of boobs? A baseball team? Say.
dey got a team out here at James
town dat Gin beat dem without lie
assistance of de umpire"
Once again / demand that you
conduct yourself with some d%ecoruln.'
sad the chair. This is an all-impor-
tant cccssion-freighted with the
great burdens Of the future"
"oh. for Pete's sake, come down off
dat school kids roost and lie. some
body talk what knows how" Again
1t was the obstreperous one from the
Corner of Third street and DeMers.
What ! say is dis-we've xot tn etart
something, and cheese all dis silver
tonsued slobber."
"W"t ] wana know Is dis" started
another Krah. why did Wheeler
leave dat man Donley in when dey
were hitttn' him into de lake? Why
didn't he lift him and send somebody
in dere what knows how to git rid OF
de odder stiffs?"
exhibitions of wooden brains." chirped
another noisy delegate. will some
body please git up and tell me why
dat man Persch was walked? For
cats sake, wot du WI t'ink of dat =?
Dere was two gone and two men or
de sacks, and dey had de nerve to
pull dat ole trick. It served dem
right when dat udder guy knocked 1t
out a-reach."
II move" said another one, that
we pull the whole team up by the
roots and see what made them sprout It
Pull 'nothin' up by the roots"
of Third street and DeMers. "Wot'e
de use of dat? Dey're nothin' but a
bunch of cheese weeds, anyway. Say,
don't youse guys know dat dey can't
play ball? Wot's de use a-waitin'
aroun' here fannin' de air like dis.
Dere is only n ting to do when q
manager pulls down de blue ribbon
for bone-headed exhibits by leaving
q finger on de mound when he has
been hit so hard he can't cuss de
umpire"
Really. gentlemen" grated one oil
the timid delegates. who up to this
time had taken no part in the deliber
atoms. You must remember the boz
o is not in yet, and we should
postpone u judgment until we see
it. We know nothing Of the exigen,
cies of h occasion"
Say, you cross between a Webster
and a Jim Jam Jems, what are you
givin' us? I don't know a ting about
what you said, but dat man .Donley
had ought to been takin' out"
But, just the same, I think we are
Judging too hastily"
by de great god of Krabs. Il dat
guy. doesn't shut up. your chairship
I'm goin to slug him over de dome
wit a pop bottle"
Gentlemen. desist!" thundered The
chair.
"Desist yourself! I come here t.
h4IN ~,,t It~ k~--. A--Y - y. =
and I'm hoped upon by a grandstand
rooter. Wot's he dom in dis gatherin
anyway? He amt no Krab."
Il insist on order" beloved the
chair, and his below sounded very
much as though he meant it. "Nt
more of this wrangling!"
well make dat big boob keep his
horn quiet"
II said no more wrangling, Mr.
Krab, and I meant it. I'm chairman
Of this gathering and I'm going tc
conduct it according to aoyle. New
gentlemen, let's have a motion"
II move" said one of the hotel del.
egates that we sell the entire optft
to the Tin Orchestra Piano company
said company to turn the heads q,
our ball players into ivory keys TO,
the young Wnmen Of our homes tt
tickle"
say. oats a good motion. l dldn'
tink dat hotel stiff had de CAB ant
de nerve. I'll jist second dat first
old kid"
Gentlemen, you have heard the
motion. What is your pleasure"
"Who said anything about pleasure
DO yu tink it's lots a fun tn see {
bunch Of stiffs t'row games away like
our kids bin doin'? Dat motion wa,
moved and given de second WIDOW
pleasure, and. by HEX, it's a-goin' or
de blackboard widout pleasure. Now
amt 1t. Krabs?"
Judging from the lusty shouts tina
followed. it did. Mr.. l.. M. A. Krat
was unable to adjourn the meeting
with the usual formalities. It broke
up Immediately. and the variou!
Krabs assembled betook themselve.
to the curbstone, there to begin al
over again.