Daily Kennebec journal., 1914-01-23

stone in weight. My medical attend
ant said I was not physically strong
enough to own so large a dog; so, as
my rooms were on the fifth floor. i
exchanged him for toy terrier.
| Dustbins, which are generally kept
| in the kitchen, next to the gas stove.
have to be carried downstairs by the
| tenant and deposited on the pavement
| for the convenience Of the dustmen
| An official makes his appearance a
| few minutes ahead Of the dustcart,
and clangs a huge bell at the foot of
| the stairs in warning. At the sound
doors fly open as il by magic. and the
next moment the stairs are crowded
with women-young, old, strong and
| frail-each with an iron dustbin strain
| ed to her BOSOM. If you are wear
| ing new clothes, you want to see that
the dustcart isn't In the street before
you start mounting the stairs.
1t is against the law for barrel
organs to play in the streets. but they
| NAV. with the consent of the Hausbe-
sorger play in the courtyards. 1t is
advisable, therefore, before taking up
your residence, to make sure that your
idea of music comedies with that Of
the Hausbesorger.
But Of all regulations tending to vex
the soul of free-born Englishman
Is the one that directs that the house
door shall be closed every night at
ten o'clock For opening after this
hour the Hausbesorger EFFORTS the
sum of twenty heller (two pence). The
viennese is thrifty individual; so
that he either goes to, bed at ten, or
else stops out all night.
All theatrical performances are ov-
er between half-past nine and quar-
ter to ten, to enable the audience to
get home before the autocratic Haus-
besorger slams the outer gate. 1t Is
no uncommon spectacle in a theater
to see stout citizens, whose time for
the quarter mile is we'll over hfteen
minutes, nervously nursing their two
pence in white knuckly fists. To see
a corpulent, painting figure beating
frantically upon the iron gate. bewaii-
ing the loss Of his twopence Is sight
to melt the heart of all but Viennese
Hausbesorger. 1t takes twopence TO
melt his heart.
Did this regulation only affect the
laggard reveller I should have nothing
to say. The man who wastes his time
at picture palaces or at open-air care
listening to the band till past ten
o'clock, gets no sympathy from me.
But there are others. 1t is possible
even for citizen to go to bed at half
past nine, and yet suffer from this
regulation. 1t happened to me.
I had been in bed for about an hour,
when my landlady tapped on my door
and informed me that her husband was
ill. / said l was sorry. and turned
on my other side. Ten minutes later
she tapped again and asked me il I
had gone for the doctor yet. / said
yes, I had just gone.
Then dressed and went downstairs.
I awoke the Hausbesorger and gave
him twopence to let me out. Half
| way down the street ! suddenly re-
membered I had forgotten to ask the
name of the doctor I was going for.
So I went back and gave the man
another twopence to let me in again.
I climbed six weary flights of stairs,
and learned that the doctors name
was Sauerkraut, and that he lived just
around the corner. / gave the Haus-
besorger another two-pence, and was
| In the street again. 1t wants mathe-
matician to follow this story. 1t costs
| twopenee to get into DR.. Sauerkraut' S
twopeneest get out again, and
twopence to obtain ,readmittance to
my own place; which comes to one
| shilling. s3
To play the Good Samaritan in
Vienna at shilling time is too ex-
pensive for a poor man. For the re-
mainder of my stay I went to bed
| with cotton wool in my ears.-London
| News.