Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1914-11-24


says !.
ed to quit work the same day on &C.
count of a sympathy strike with the
Lady Salmon Gamers lodge No. 2 OF
Tacoma, Wash.
"'Twas disturbed was in mind and
proclivities by losing me job. bein' al
ready harassed In me soul on account
Of havin' quarreled with Norah Flynn
a week before by reason Of hard words
spoken at the Dairymen and Street
Sprinkler Drivers semiannual ball.
caused by jealousy and prickly heat
and that divil, Andy Coghlin.
$50. I says. 1t will be Coney for
Tuesday. and II the chutes and the
short change and the green corn silk
between the teeth don't create diver
sions and get me feeling better. then
I don't know at all.
"Ye will have heard that Coney has
received moral reconstruction. The old
Bowery. where they used to take your
tintype by force and give ye knockout
drops before having your palm read.
is now called the Wall street Of the
island. The wienerwurst stands are
required by law to keep news ticker
In 'em. and the doughnuts are exam
med every four years by a retired
steamboat inspector. The niger mans
head that was used by the old patrons
to throw baseballs at Is now illegal.
and, by order Of the police commits.
sioner. the image Of man drivin' an
automobile has been substituted. l
hear that the old immoral amusements
have been suppressed. People who
used to go down from New York to
sit In the sand and dabble in the surf
now give up their quarters to squeeze
through turnstiles and see limitations
Of city fires and foods painted on can
vas. The reprehenslblc and degradin'
resorts that disgraced old Coney are
said to be wiped out The wipin out
process consists Of raisin' the price
from 10 cents to 25 cents and hirin' a
blond named Maudie to sell tickets in.
stead of Micky. the Bowery Bite.
That's what they say-l don't know.
But to Coney l goes a-Tuesday. |
gets of the T. and starts for the gilt
term show. Twas fine sight. The
Babylonian towers and the Hindu
roof gardens was blazin' with thou
sands Of electric lights. and the streets
was thick with people. IT'S true
thing. they say. that Coney levels all
rank. l see millionaires eatin' pop
corn and trampin' along with the
crowd. and see eight dollar a week
clothing store clerks in red automo-
biles fightin' one another for who'd
squeeze the horn when they come to
n corner.
"T made a mistake says to my
pelf. Twas not Coney needed. When
Il mans sad It's not scenes Of hilarity
he wants. 'Twould be far better for
him to mediate In graveyard or to
attend services mt the Paradise roof
gardens. 'Tis no consolation when a
nuns lost his sweetheart to order hot
corn and have the waiter bring him
the powdered sugar cruet instead Of
salt and then conceal himself. or to
have Zoozookum. the gypsy pianist. tell
him that he has three children and TO
look out for another serious calamity:
price rs cents.
IL walked far away down on the
beach to the ruins Of an old pavilion
near one corner Of this new private
park-Lun Park. A year ago that old
pavilion was standin' up straight. and
the old style walters was slammin' q
weeks supply Of clam chowder down
In front of you for nickel and calm
you Gully friendly. and vice was RAM
pant. and you got buck to New York
with enough change to take car at
the bridge. Now they tell me that they
serve Welsh rabbits on Surf avenue.
and you get the right change buck In
the movin' picture joints.
II sat down at one side of the old
pavilion and looked at the surf spread
In itself on the old beach and thought
about the time me and NOrah Flynn
sat on that spot Twas before reform
struck the island. and We was happy.
We had tintypes and chowder In the
ribald dives. and the Egyptian Sor-
ceress Of the Nile told Norah out Of
her hand. while wus waiin' in the
door. that 'twould be the luck Of her
to marry a redheaded gossoon with
two crooked legs. and was overrun-
min with Joy on account Of the allu.
sion. And twas there that Norah
Flynn put her two hands In mine a
year before. and we talked Of fats and
the things she could cook and the love
business that goes with such episodes.
And that was Coney as We loved 1t
and as the hand Of Satan was upon it
friendly and noisy and your moneys
worth. with no fence around the ocean
and not too many electric lights to
show the sleeve Of q black serge coat