Mansfield mirror., 1914-11-26

Dorm VIII the gilt fork In his cn0ps or
not. and that never was hungry Of
tirsty f'r minnit In his life. likes to
make hisself and others t'ink that he's
had about half O. all the hard wallops
that ever was dished out since the be-
ginnin' O. the world. g.
Don't youse never tink I amt
been over the jumps harder'n youse
ever dreamed of. bo,' the big easy
stiff wit the Joy togs on will say, and
Wen he hands you that his piece o.
change is jes' as good as salted In y'r
nankeens.
But O. course they's different kinds
o. big stifts. II, fr instance. wen
you brace the big boob with the money
tailorin' he hands youse the merry
twink outa his windows and tells
youse he needs all the booze coin he
can earn f'r his own low appetites,
then it's youse to slip him the candid
spiel.
"'Oh, well, l see youse is mex,
judge says I to that kind, and youse
is the kind of a man that can symp'-
thize wit bum that amt lifted the
price O. a hooter fr two days-not o
course that youse was ever in that bad
fix yrself, says l.
"'Oh, wasn't, hey?' the mark
nearly allus rebates when l give him
that, and he gifts to musin', as he
plods along-and me not far behind
him-about the times wen he's been
marooned in prohibition town
somewheres were he couldn't spring
ball, and that nearly allus makes
him skate to the center wit the price.
"Tve had boobs like that, in slippin
me the kale, say: Look here, youse,
II ever l hear O. youse buyin' grub
wit that, or doin' anythin' else wit 1t
'ceptin' gettin' as much nose-paint fr
it as it's good FIR, I'll have yoose
sloughed,' meanin' pinched.
But at that we can't allus pick 'em
right. "A vile back I gifts 1t right on
topa the bean from one O. them big
breezers. He was swingin' along the
big trail long about time f'r me to
knock off, only woiks till dark, see
and, as he has one O. them good.na-
tured buns wit him, says / to me-
self, There's two bits walkin' on two
legs
80 eases him the chirp bout my
needin' jes one to make me t'ink life's
wort livin', and he stops and hands
me such beamin' grin that the two
bits looks as good as wheat In the
bin.
$50 youse needs jes' one pooty
bad, hey, chum?' says the big stiff,
jammin his mitt into the side kick
of his coat.
"'Never bladder since l made me
big entrance. maje,' says I, and 1t
looked so soft that was hopin' may
be he wouldn't have anythin' on him
smaller'n four bits.
"'T'ink jes' one 'ud help youse
hull lot, hey?' says the toppy stiff
with the GRIMM pickle on, pullin' out
hull handful O. the bright two and
four bit pieces and runnin' 'em over
wit his lamp.
""Guv'nor,' says /, it's almost a
matter O. life and deaf wit me-
"'Me poor, unfortnit feller man.,
says he then, suddenly cuttin out the
grin and putin on the undertaker's
map, yours is indeed sad, sad story.
and the bowl, fear me, has been the
room O. youse. Here take this, and
read 1t carefully; it'll cheer youse up
"Wot dye tink It was he handed
me wit his left fin as he put the
change that he had in his right back
in the kale kick? hope to be nibbled
to deaf by rabbits II it wasn't the
Annual Report O. the Methodist Mis-.
sions in Africa Jes' eases 1t to me,
the big stiff, and tvudges on. and me
watchin' his shoulders shakin'.
"Macin' the skirts is different gag
altogether. When youse sets out to
stick up the calicoes in the shoppin'
distric' youse is got to switch the cut
all aroun'. Youse don't wanta stack
up agfn' the big, strappin', coiney-
lookin' skirts at ALL They won't do
f'r any part O. the journey. and they're
li'ble to follow youse f'r four blocks
to put one O. the biddies wit badge
mex to youse.
"Nothin' like that stuff f'r mine. In
playin' the calicoes along youse wants
pick out the quiet-dressed. unassum-
in .lookin little fringes that amt got
no strut about 'em at all, and that
walk sort O. wit their hans in front
OF 'em, ol'-fashioned like, and their
lamps on the ground"