The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1914-11-12
MEN ARE SO QUEER
BY r. S. JONES.

| perfectly tunny the way man acts
just because he is your husband-did
you ever notice it,"
1T is, indeed" said the others in
chorus.
How was | to know that sensible
business men would take me so seri-
ously?" pursued the fluffy young
woman. Il thought they were sup
posed to have disCernment and sense
At least, Tom is always preaching
about their superiority in that respect.
Tom explained to me very carefully
before we went to the automobile
show last month that We couldn't buy
car He said we couldn't afford it,
considering my hat bills and his cigars
and the notes coming due on the
house We bought last year. | am
sure | had it all perfectly clear In
my mind, so l am positive l was not
to blame.
But did you ever notice what per-
fectly fascinating young men they put
in charge Of the exhibition cars at an
automobile show"
Il should say l have noticed them"
said the brunette girl.
And, anyhow, Tom had no bust
ness to run across two college friends
the minute we got inside the show
and pay so much attention to them
that he couldn't pay any attention to
me! Those three would cluster to-
gether over a chassis with a lot Of
crazy machinery stuck on it and talk
like mad. So | simply had to do
something to kill time"
"Of course you did," agreed the
others.
so when at the first booth a good
looking man who saw me studying a
touring car asked me if / was inter-
ested | said | was. Then he was just
as nice as could be. He told me
everything about the car and made
me get in il and explained just how l
could run it myself and wanted my
address to send me a catalogue. He
said he'd be pleased to come out some
day with the car and show me how it
ran and give me a lesson. He was so
set on coming that | hated to hurt
his feelings, so | did not refuse.
1T was just the same way at the
next place and ever after Tom and
his friends were so busy over horrid
old machinery that | was considerably
left out. However, l made lots OF
friends among the agents.
"All of them wanted to bring out
their cars to demonstrate to me how
superior they were and, as l had told
one man he could come, it didn't seem
a bit fair to the others to refuse any
OF them, so said I'd be delighted 1t
had occurred to me that / owed a ter
rible lot of calls and that it would be
such nice way to get around and
pay them.
Il didn't think it necessary to men,
ton the matter to Tom. He did re-
mark that a huge lot Of catalogues
was coming to our house and it was
a wonder where those fellows got
peoples names and, anyhow, thank
d
eating it's head off and making him
poor. Men are so selfish.
The Zero automobile man came out
the very day after the show closed
and we had a beautiful ride. made
six calls. However, l quite changed
my opinion Of him, because when I
came out Of the last place he seemed
actually cross and said things about
waiting in cold weather. l don't See
how he expects to sell cars without
showing a little consideration for Gus.
toners. / told him / didn't think L
liked his car at all.
Then there was the Largo car man
and the Allegro man and the Forts.
simo man and the Solendiferous man
and about six different electric COM
panies and lot more whose names
l forget. When they came one at
time 1t was lovely.
Il did two teas one afternoon in the
Largo car, but the man lost his tenn.
per, and when / came from the sec.
ond tea the wretched creature had
driven on and / had to 60 home on
the street car!
The queer thing was that eyerv
one seemed so indignant when I re-
fused to give an order for a car and
said things about my leading them on.
The worst Of it was that Tom came
home Ill with the grip one afternoon
just as seven different cars arrived all
at once to take me out, He said he
thought was giving a funeral or a
tea.
When he understood-my dears
have you ever seen a man suffering
from bad temper and grip simulta.
neously?
L explained to him most carefully
that 1t wasn't my fault at all, but he
roared that he was ashamed to look a
man In the face from that time on for
fear he was one Of the automobile
agents I had shamefully deceived
yes, that's what he called it-and that
he'd like to know what women had IN
place Of consciences anyhow. What
do you think Of that? Aren't men ut.