South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-01-13
STA TESMEN
REAL AND NEAR
BY FRED c. KELLY.


American citizen who talked right up
too George Bernard Shaw and chased
him out on a conversational limb.
The plain American was Samuel Z.
Orth, professor of political science at
Cornell university and the verbal
bout took place in London at the
close OF a meeting of the Fabians,
which is an association Of the high
brow socialists OF England.
ORTIZ cropped IN TOR the purpose oil
getting acquainted with Shaw, out OF
curiosity, and introduced himself.
not Iong before that Shaw had
made a caustic attack on American
patriotism IN one of mis- articles, ana
Orth IN presenting himself JoKlngly
said
I'm an American who loves my
country"
"Ar-n-h." growled Shaw savagely
and IN a loud voice What do you
mean when you say you love your
country. What has your country
ever done except worship the golden
calf with nasal twang? Tell me
what you nave produced? IL you
produce a man OF marked artistic or
literary ability he must sink TO medl-
ocrity TO make a living. If you pro-
duce a great sculptor or painter he
must go to Europe to live and get the
European hall mark on his work be-
fore ii is marketable at home. You
had Whistler, but ne had TO live IN
England because no one knew enough
TO buy his wC~'I ia America. Ou
only know the ,1lue OF money as 1t
adds TO luxury and not to refinement.
Your criterion Of worth is bigness in
stead of quality. Why, your very in
dependence was won by getting an
other nation TO help YOU Tight Then
YOU go about blatantly Boosting about
your love of you country and waving
the stars and stripes in everybody
face. Why don't you do something
first and boast afterward?'
For a moment Ortiz was almost
taken off his feet. What made it all
the worse was that some Of what
Shaw had said was true. And then
| Shaw's face is enough to scare a
stranger half to death He has long
red eyebrows that he puts up in
papers at night a fiery red pointed
beard, and a glittering, colorless eye
the sum of which makes him look
like the old Harry himself.
AS soon as he had caught his
breath. Orth replied quietly:
NO: America has never produced
anything. We have never produced
nation that sells opium to China to
despOil a civilization older than our
own; we do not simultaneously rob
India that we may live even more
simultaneously in the west end of
London; neither do we send ships TO
South Africa carrying equal cargoes
Of missionaries and rum. We do not
close up at half past twelve o'clock
and on Sunday in order to provide a
cloak of darkness for our vices. We
are not a nation that ceases Oppres-
sion only when compelled to. Re
member that you never treated any
colony decently until America showed
you how. And, worst of all, we are
not people that have ever produced
a @. Bernard Shaw"
1t was just what Shaw needed, for
he likes best those who rebuke and
brOwbeat him.
Come on" said he to Orth, in a
subdued tone. let's sit down and
have a chat"
When Louis Ludlow, a well-knOwn
Washington correspondent was
working as a young reporter in In
dianapolis some years ago. he was
assigned to do the death watch" on
prominent citizen who was expected
TO die at almost any hour. The mans
obituary had been prepared. and all
of the exact time of his death. Ar
engagements had been made by the at
tending nurse 10 place a signal in an
upstairs window of the home where
it could be seen by the reporters
across the street For three nights,
Louis Ludlow and the other report
ers stood about waiting vainly for the
signal which failed to appear and it
was a desperately tedious, tresome
On 20 icro do
up his mind TO get some inside infor-
nation about the case. IL the man
had rallied and was going to live I'M
til morning. he did not intend to
waste all night looking for the death
signal. So he slipped away from the
others and went TO the house He in
sisted on seeing the grief-stricken
wife of the dying man. They told
him that would be impossible, but
Louis explained that il was of the
utmost importance, and finally she
came in to see him.
I'm very sorry to trouble you"
stammered Louis, "but-er-uh-is there
any hope of your husband dying to-
night"
Henry T. Rainey, member of con-
gress from Illinois. lives on a big
farm when he's at home, and often
has trouble obtaining good help.
Some time ago he employed a Swede
who seemed to have little or no
superstitions against work. but tOiled
from early morn to set of sun. More
over. he seemed contented and happy,
and Rainey was not u little pleased.
But out of a clear sky one day came
the mans resignation. He said that
he desired TO quit at once.
And what's the matter ," was
Rainey's natural inquiry.
Well said the man, when
came here YOU promised me steady
work the year around, but last night
didn't have a thing to do for three
hours"