The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1914-10-22

i That If the warriors across tn
water keep on digging themselves in
TO trenches, the entire provence 0
Belgium will soon resemble poke
gopher settlement.
That in order to be safe the tins
will come and not so far in the fu
ture when every vehicle will carr
head and tail lights 10 protect them
selves from the damphool highway
scorchers.
That if there is Anything in this
column that you don't Ike. you are
privileged to cuss the author all you
like and if that is not consoling
enough you may also carry your
troubles to the police.
That not so long ago Russian
general cheered his men by telling
them that by Christmas time they
would celebrate in Berlin. And the
general made good, at least in part.
as there are now over 100. 900 there.
and it is yet some considerable time
before Thanksgiving.
That the onipotent presence of our
friend B. S Mcdonald, who vas a
candidate for pros cutting attorney at
the primaries has been conspicuous
by its absence ever since. The last
word from Mac was that b. was SUIT
fering from apoplexy. or appleiacksy
or something Xix. that.
That if you fail TO purchase q
ticket and make the trip around the
world offered by the ladies of the
M. E. church tomorrow evening. you
will miss one of the best feeds-or,
several of them that will be offered
you this year or even after the new
hotel is built, and all for tvo-bits.
That almost every man in Nez-
perez swings his arms when he walks
swiftly, but we have also lady who
swings her wings to such q degree
that your glims are liable TO be put
out if you should attempt to walk
side of her on the average sidewalk,
and she is neither married lady or
a man-hater.
That New York paper recently
called for its readers opinion as re-
CARDS who is the greatest living man.
Roosevelt came first, having three
times as many guessers as Wilson
who came third. Well, to cut long
story short, they must have a lot of
cheap, ignorant NUTS on for sub
scribers.
That one of the lower grade teach
ers at the close Of lesson recently,
telling Of the horrors of war, asked
one of her brightest pupils, "Now do
you object to war;" eyes I do,
was the fervent reply. sNow tell
us Why" because" said the
youth, "war makes history, and I
just hate history"
That when a man working for
another loses time he is docked, but
when corporation fails to furnish
service there is no thought of deduct
ing for services not rendered, per-
iaps for the same reason that GER
ain Lewis county attorney, when
presented with a bill to pay, re-
marked: II am lawyer, collect it
{ you can
That the fire department Of Ger
ain town not SO many miles from
vezperce has taken it upon them
elves to look up the alleys of the
itY. How would it be for our FIRE
to do likewise7 Perhaps
aough, it might be wise to first fit
Iothespins on the noses before tack I
ng some Of them. ID
That Nezperce is forging ahead :
ne and as we have predicted. The .
omidg year will be even q better {
ne than the present. Our prayers
re being answered every day, and c
lie building Of the new hotel seems .
most as though some supernatural I
over we're dishing gu. our desires.
ON, everybody together, he-ho- l
.ave for the completion of The {
,hnson road the coming year. Are l
ou there, Moriarity7 .
That no greater plan for the ale