davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12
TALES TOLD OF ULsTERMEN
Bull Worthy Of Any One From the
County Of Cork-"canny" About
Marriage Fees.

The FISHERMAN is not incapable OF
a bull says the British Weekly. II
was an Ulster marquis who endeared
himself to his tenantry by the memor-
able bull uttered in his speech at an
agricultural dinner: Il wish my farm.
ers would use iron plows, because
they last forever. and will afterwards
sell as old iron"
1t was an FISHERMAN who at a
funeral observed the awkward work
OF an unaccustomed hand. and ex-
claimed as he seized shovel: 81
wasn't seven years counting sex
toms daughter without learning to
sod a grave"
No matter how large the brides for
tune, the fisherman generally grum-
bled over the marriage fee.
Wouldn't half a crown timpt ye?"
asked bridegroom OF the officiating
minister when the clerk demanded the
usual five shillings.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12
M0THER LOOK At
CH|LD'S TONGUE
If cross, feverish, constipated,
give "CaIifornia Syrup
Of Figs"

A laxative today saves a sick child
tomorrow. Children simply will not
take the time from play to empty their
bowels. which become clogged up with
waste. liver gets sluggish; stomach
sour
Look at the tongue, mother! II coat
ed, or your child is listless, Cross, few
erish, breath bad, restless. doesn't eat
heartily. full of cold or has sore throat
or any other children's ailment, give a
teaspoorful of California Syrup of
Figs" then don't worry. because it is
perfectly harmless, and in few hours
all this constipation poison, sour bile
and fermenting waste will gently
move out of the bowels, and you have
a weh, playful child again. A thors
ough inside cleansing" is oftimes all
that is necessary. 1t should be the
first treatment given in any sickness.
Beware of counterfeit fig syrups.
Ask at the store for 50-cent bottle of
California Syrup Of Figs" which has
full directions for babies. children of
all ages and for grown-ups plainly
printed on the bottle. Adv.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12
DROVE GUORMET TO SARCASM
Evidently French Restaurant Wine
Was Not Exactly the Quality
He Had Ordered.

William E. Corey praised at a Pitts
burgh club the wines of California.
Our California wines" said the
steel magnate. are much better than
wines of a similar price in France.
for French wines are so adulterated
today that even high-priced one
often tastes like burnt sugar and wa
ter"
But the fine wines, the grand cru
wines are wonderful" young banker
interrupted.
Mr.. Corey shook his head.
Not always" he said "A friend
of mine. gourmet with whom l
lunched not long ago at n fashionable
boulevard restaurant in Paris, ordered
a bottle of very old celebrated Mar
gaux. Pouring out little of the wine
and rolling it on his tongue in true
gourmet fashion he made a wry face.
"'Waiter,' he demanded. What
wine is this YOU brought me?'
at is what monsieur ordered was
the reply. 'Margaux 1895, grand cru
"'Humph,' sneered by friend. how
lucky it is to be so old and to conceal
its age so we'll"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12
UoIiness a Qualification.

Some bygone housewives appear to
have regarded ugliness as a quality
to be desired in their servants. When
Eliza Coke. daughter OF Coke of Nor
folk, was about to marry, she wrote
to her prospective mother-in-law:
Pray, have thu goodness to decide
as you think best about the pretty
housemaid. wish she were less
pretty and less fond OF dress. but II
her conduct and principles are good
neither are really Objectionable faults.
| think our establishment will be a
pattern OF morality. particularly II
Mr.. Stanhope engages the squirting
butter and the terrible house maid he
mentioned to me-"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12
THICK, GLOSSY HAIR
FREE FROM DANDRUFF
Girls! Reautify Your Hair! Make It
Soft, Fluffy and Luxuriant-Try
the Moist Cloth.

Try as you will. after an application
OF Danderine, you cannot find a single
trace of dandruff or falling hair and
your scalp will not itch. but what will
please you most. will be after a few
weeks use. when you see new hair.
fine and downy at first-yes-but real
ly new hair-growing all over the
scalp.
A little Danderine Immediately dou-
bles the beauty OF your hair. No differ
ence how dull. faded. brittle and
scraggy. just moisten n cloth with
Danderine and carefully draw it
through your hair, taking one small
strand at time. The effect is i'm
mediate and amazing-your hair will
be light, fluffy and wavy. and have an
appearance of abundance: an incom-
parable luster. softness and luxuri-
ance, the beauty and simmer OF true
hair health.
Get % cent bottle OF Knowlton's
Danderine from any store and prove
that your hair is as pretty and soft
as any-that it has been neglected or
injured by careless treatment-that's
all Adv.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12
GAS, DYSPEPSIA
AND INDIGESTION
"Pape's Diapepsin" settles sour,
gassy stomachs in five
minutes-Time 1t!

You don't want a slow remedy when
your stomach Is bad-or an uncertain
one-or a harmful one-your stomach
Is too valuable; you mustn't injure it.
Pape's Diapepsin is noted for its
speed in giving relief; its harmless
ness: its certain unfailing action in
regulating sick. sour. gassy stomachs
Its millions of cures in indigestion,
dyspepsia. gastritis and other stomach
trouble has made 1t famous the world
over.
Keep this perfect stomach doctor in
your home-keep 1t handy-get a large
fifty-cent case from any dealer and
then II anyone should eat something
which doesn't agree with them; If
what they eat lays like lead, ferments
and sours and forms gas; causes head
ache. dizziness and nausea; eructa-
tions of acid and undigested food
remember as soon as Pape's Diapepsin
comes in contact with the stomach all
such distress vanishes. Its prompt
ness. certainty and ease In overcoming
the worst stomach disorders is a reve-
lation to those who try it-Adv.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12

ing good health now and owe 1t all to
your remedies. l take pleasure in tell
ing my friends and neighbors about
them. Mrs. MATTE HALEY, col Col
quhone Street, Danville, Va
No woman suffering from any form
of female troubles should lose hope un-
til she has given Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound fair trial.
This famous remedy, the medicinal
ingred tents of which are derived
from native roots and herbs, has for
forty years proved to be a most valua-
BILE tonic and invigorator Of the fe-
male organism. Women everywhere
bear willing testimony to the wonderful
virtue Of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegeta-
bic Compound.
If you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia f. Pinkham's Negeta-
bleCompound will help you. write
to Lydia f. E.Pinkham Nj edicine Co.
(confidentiaD Lynn. Mass. for ad-
vice. Your letter will be opened,
read and answered by n woman
and held in strict confidence.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12
BABY HAD PAINFUL ECZEMA

II. F. d. No. 1, Lucerne. Colo
About two years ago my baby, who
was about four months old at that
time, was afflicted with eczema which
at first appeared on the back of the
neck and kept constantly enlarging.
The eczema broke out in a rash at
first and 1t was small and rough and
very red. 1t itched and burned SO
much that he could not sleep well,
continually turning and twisting his
head as the eczema was on the back
of his neck where he could not get to
much 1t became red and almost raw.
1t seemed very painful as the child
fretted constantly. After some time a
similar trouble appeared on the
cheeks
''Af last a friend advised me to try
Cuticura Soap and Ointment. l sent
for a sample and this did SO much
good bought a cake OF Cuticura Soap
and the Cuticura Ointment. used
them according to directions and 1t
was only a month until the eczema
was apparently well and 1t soon en-
tireSy disappeared and has never re-
turned" (Signed) Mrs. Carrie NJ.
Brown. Mar. 28. 1918.
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample of each
free. with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post
card "Cuticura. Dept. L. Boston. ADV.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12
He Had Experience.

Once upon time a small boy
about three years old was taken to the
church to be baptized. As soon as
he caught sight of the bowl of water
in the minister's hand he remembered
his antipathy for the bathtub and
Strengthened himself up for the at
tack.
When the minister approached him.
reverently dipping his hand in the wa
ter. the little fellow said
IF you put toap in my eyes I'll
bus you pen."-Nationa Monthly.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12

mucn DeLVeE dlAh 1
did when the doctor
was treating me. 1
don't suffer any
bearing down pains
at all now and ! sleep
well. / cannot say
enough for Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE Compound and
Liver Pills as they
have done 10 much
for me. / am enjoy
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12
So Obedient.

Stealthily Light-Fingered Sam
slipped up behind the strolling pedes-
trian.
MY doctor said l needed a little
chance, didn't he?" he murmured to
himself.
And then he took it.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12

Colonel Barley Corn says he can't
understand why some men want the
earth IL it's two-thirds water
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12

But the average man would have nc
use for mirrors II he could see him
self in them as other see him.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12
Brilliant Idea,

Young Mother really don't know
why he cries so.
Bachelor Friend-Perhaps 1t is his
teeth coming through.
Young Mother-Maybe it's his hair
coming through that hurts him,
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12

Your family Doctor can't do more for
Cough Drops; "they cure"-5c at Druggists
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12
II Was Ever Thu

II Was Ever Thus.
Rih-What is your son doing these
days?
Raff-Me-Nebraska Awgwan.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12

The principal reason why the old
times seem good is that people were
content with less.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12

1t takes a very long purse to bu,
popularity.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12

True love seldom utilizes the postal
card for tender messages.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12

Constipation causes many serious dis
eases. II is thoroughly cured by Doctor
Pierces Pleasant Pellets. One a laxative,
three for cathartic. Adv.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12
TALKING Machines.

Papa. did Edison make the first
talking machine?"
No, son. the Lord make the first
talking machine, but Edison made the
first one that could be shut on at will"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12

IF you wish beautiful, clear white
clothes. Use Red Cross Bag Blue. At all
good grocers. Adv.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12

Many a proverb is merely smart
sounding saying that cannot bear
analysis.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12

1t is hard to forgive our enemies
| when they have u by the neck.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12
Only One "BRoMo oUININE"

To get the genuine. call for full name. LAxA-
TIVE BROMO QUININE. Look for signature of
l.. w GROVE. Cures Cold in One Day. 2Sc.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12

The secret of getting 4 hearing is
In having little to say.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12

Reckless promises soon make q
man friandless.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12
WHAT $40 DID
FOR THIS WOMAN
The Price She Paid for Lydia
E.Pinkham'sV Vegetable Com
pound Which Brought
Good Health.

Danville, Va.-"Ihave only spent ten
dollars on your medicine and I feel 20
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12
Out Of Date.

Isn't she graceful?"
Yves. but horribly old fashioned.
The slouch is all the style nowadays
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12

Anybody can dye successfully with
Putnam Fadeless Dyes. Adv.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1914-03-12
COLORADO NEWS
GATHERED FROM
All Parts of the State
Western Newspaper Union News Service.

July 13-14-Grand Lodge Session. B.
p. o. ElkS at Denver
April 9.-General Irrigation Conference
at Denver
Sept: 7.-Colorado State Fair at Pu-
eblo.
1915.-Last Grand Council of North
American Indians at Denver.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1914-05-30
CAUGHT FROM THE NETWORK OF
WIRES ROUND ABoUT
THE WORLD.
DURING THE PAST WEEK
RECORD OF IMPORTANT EvENTo
CONDENSED FOR BUSY
PEOPLE
w.st.rn N.rspap.r Union News Service.
w E ST ERk.

Magdalena Pruter, si1ty-five. widow
Of Franklin Pruter, a retired farmer.
burned herself 10 death at Davenport.
Iowa.
One man was killed and more than
$500 600 damage done by a severe
storm that swept Superior, Wis, and
surrounding country.
Commercialized vice in Chicago has
been almost stamped out in the last
year Of unremitting war against II, ac-
ccrding to the citizens committee or
fifteen.
Alfred Bowen, thirty-nine. promi-
nent cement contractor at Lafayette,
Ind, killed his wife and then killed
himself Bowen accused Mrs. Bowen
of taking a trip away from town with
another man.
Septe mber Morn the picture over
which the Chicago police censor and
art dealers and critics clashed, was
given judicial sanction in ruling of
the Appellate Court for the first dis
trict OF Chicago.
The value OF the mine output Of
gold silver. copper lead and zinc in
Utah in 1913. was 34+.s5S.2l0, com
pared with si2,992,3o2 in 1912. accord
ing to Victor c. Heikes, OF the United
State Geological Survey.
Before the coroner's grand jury at
Danville Ill, the Rev. Louis X. Pat
mont OF Milwaukee told his story OF
kidnapping and Imprisonment in a dun
geon for seven weeks. without light
and barely food enough for subsist-
ence.
Trainmen on Western roads are pre-
pairing to take a strike vote, accord
ing to adyices received in Denver from
railroad officials in Chicago where
representatives OF engineers and fire
men have been holding conferences
for the last three months.
Reginald Barr. Downers Grove, H..
youth, who jumped beneath a moving
train and was killed while he was be.
ing sought In connection with the
mysterious death of pretty Florence
Bentley, left note declaring that the
cloak model died in his arms while he
was attempting to kiss her
fhe two young daughters of Shan
Ching Shu, Chinese consul general in
San Francisco, who disappeared from
their home and were believed TO have
been kidnapped We're found sleeping
In a dry creek bed In the Berkeley hills
They had wandered into the hills to
pick wild flowers and. lost their way
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1914-05-30
CROPS ARE DOING WELL
ACCORDING TO REPORT OF FORE.
CASTER eRANDENeURG.
Growth Retarded in the Eastern coun-
ties. But Conditions Generally Are
Favorable for All Crops.

Western Newspaper Tnion News Service
Denyer.-The second weekly report
rendered by the local weather fore
caster since the head Of the depart
ment in Washington instituted the
new feature of recording weather con-
ditions and effects on vegetation in
various districts, was rendered by F.
II. Brandenburg. Following is the re-
port for the week ending May IS.
Over the greater part of the state
temperature conditions have been ia
yorable to plant growth. but in the
south central part reports indicate
that the weather has been too cool
In the eastern counties continued
cloudiness. frequent showers. heavy
precipitation and insufficient sun
shine interfered with farming opera
tions and have retarded growth, while
in the western part of the state wealth
er conditions have been ideal
Winter wheat and rye are doing
well, also oats and spring wheat. al
though in localities and seeding of the
latter has not been completed Con
ditions have been about right for the
growth of sugar beets. Alfalfa and
grasses are in excellent condition.
Early potatoes are coming up. and
fruits are generally doing we'll"
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1914-05-30

energy. There was always fear and
dread in my mind, had cold, nervous,
weak spells, hot flashes over my body.
l had . place in my right side that was
10 sore that i could hardly bear the
weight Of my clothes. l tried medicines
and doctors, but they did me little good,
and never expected to get out again.
l got Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound and Blood Purifier, and cer-
tainly would have been in grave or in an
asylum if your medicines had not saved
me. But now can work all day, sleep
well At night, eat anything want, have
no hot flashes or weak, nervous spells.
All pains, aches, fears and breads are
gone, my house, children and husband
are no longer neglected, As am almost
entirely free Of the bad symptoms had
before taking your remedies, and all is
pleasure and happiness in my home. -
Mrs. JOSIE HAM, R. F. D. l, Box q,
Shamrock, Missouri.
If you want special advice write
Lydia +. Pinkham Medicine Co.,
CconfidentiaD Lynn. Mass.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1914-05-30
WASHINGTON.

Colonel Roosevelt was received BY
President Wilson at the White House.
The President nominated: To be
secretary Of the embassy at Toxic. ia
pan. Post Wheeler OF Washington To
be minister to Persia. John l.. Cald-
We'll OF Fort Scott. Kan.
The Supreme Court declared null
for fraudulent misrepresentation at
the time OF entry, patents to four
tracts OF coal land held by the Wash
iDgton Securities Company in Oregon
The Oklahoma reciprocal demurrage
law was annulled as unconstitutional
by the Supreme Court on the ground
that the Oklahoma court had held it
applied to interstate commerce as well
as state commerce.
The body OF Porfirio Laurel. an
American who was killed some time
ago in Mexico, was recovered and tax
en- to Laredo, where it was buried. Ex-
animation showed that Laurel died
from bayonet wounds
News of the latest revolutionary ac-
tivities of Dominican reyolutionists
caused no little concern among state
and navy department officials. Com
mauder Bierer of the gunboatWheel-
ing at Santo Domingo City reported
that the rebels had defied American
officers in charge OF a custom house
near Comendator and forced 10000
rounds of ammunition across the Dor
der from Haiti.
Confirmation of the killing by Mexi-
cans of Richard Urban. an American
citizen of German birth, was received
American Consular Agent Montague
at Cananea reported that Urban and
a companion were attacked without
proyocation at Pointed mountain eight
cen miles west of Nacozari A band
Of Mexcans fired from house with
out warning. Urband fell dead, but his
companion escaped.
A telegram received by the revenue
cutter service from Captain Reynolds
Of the Bering sea fleet, stated that the
cutter Takoma has arrived at Unalas-
ka and that efforts would be made by
the Takoma and Unalga, assisted by
divers from the Buffalo, to float the
canning ship Paramita, which is re-
ported leaking and beached at Lost
Harbor.
Senator Kenyon, in conference with
President Wilson, urged that immedi-
ate steps be taken to end the Colorado
coal strike by forcing settlement of
the disputed questions.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1914-05-30
HUNDRED Indicted for Mine Battle.

Canon City-One hundred and five
striking coal miners and sympathizers
were indicted by the Fremont county
grand jury at Canon City in connection
with the Chandler mine battle, April
%. Twenty-six are charged with muir
der in the first degree and seventy-one
are said to be charged with rioting.
Twelve men were arrested on the
murder charge and by order of District
Judge Charles A., Wilkin were held in
the county Jail without bail pending
their arrangement.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1914-05-30
FoREIoN.

Miss Freda Graham. the suffragette
who smashed the Bellini paintings
and others in the National Gallery, in
London sessions vas sentenced to six
months in prison.
The steamer Royal Edward OF the
Canadian Northern Steamship Compa
ny collided with an iceberg 10 miles
east OF Cape Race while Oh her voy
age from Montreal to Avonmouth,
Pleas OF guilty were handed down in
London by seven OF the nine British
ians charged in January last with
graft in connection with contracts for
supplying army canteens.
The engagement of Prince Oskar,
fifth son OF the German Emperor
and Empress. to Countess Won Basse
witz-Levetzov, maid Of honor to the
Empress, was announced at Potsdam.
The prince is 26 years old.
Actual terms and details OF plan
for the pacification OF Mexico are now
under discussion by the Mediation con
ference at Niagara Falls. according to
an announcement by Justice Lamar.
An early agreement is now antici-
pated
Prince Metchersky, editor and pro-
prietor of the newspaper Grashdanin.
a. ST. Petersburg. was sentenced by
court-martial to weeks imprison-
ment for publishing details in regard
to a mutiny on the vessels OF the Rus
sian Baltic fleet in 1913,
discovery which may lead 10 the
preparation Of serums comforting i'm
munity from many contagious dis
eases was communicated TO the Acad-
emy OF Science at Paris by Professor
A. d Arsonyal member OF the Institute
and OF the Academy OF Medicine.
A million torches and lanterns il
Illuminated Toxic when the body OF the
Empress Dowager Haruko was borne
through the streets of Toxic in beau
tiful funeral car. drawn by white oxen.
There has been no pageant OF such
solemn grandeur there since the fu-
neral OF Emperor Mutsuhito a year
and half ago.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1914-05-30
Marshal Kills Miner in Victor,

Fictor.-Richard Andrews, a miner,
was shot and instantly killed here by
night Marshal William Dixon who
charges Andrews interfered with
him while he was arresting Jack Car
bis, also a miner, for drunkenness. AT
ter Andrews was killed, Carhis fired
several shots at the marshal and es-
capped. Dixon declares his revolver
was accidentally discharged when he
attempted to strike Andrews with it,
Andrews lived with his wife and sew
eral step-children on South Dewey
avenue and had worked in Victor for
several years.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1914-05-30
GEN ERAl.

Premier Asquith in the House OF
Commons in London announced that
the government adhered to its deci-
sicn not TO participate in the Panama
Pacific exposition at San Francisco.
For the first time in the history OF
national Decoration Day the Confeder-
ate veterans from the North Carolina
soldiers home this year will attend
the exercises at the Union cemetery
in a body, headed by the Confederate
drum corps.
Declaring that so far as they are
able to ascertain, John D. Rockefeller,
Sr, had not returned dollar of his
vast wealth during the year for taxa
tion anywhere, not even New York,
Cuyahoga county tax commissioners of
Cleveland, Ohio. placed s3l1.226.347 of
the oil kings wealth on the state tax
list for taxation at s1.41 per $1,000
According to Baltimore dispatch,
the official list of midshipmen of the
first class shows that the number who
will graduate June ) and be commits
stoned is 154. First honors will be
taken by Midshipman Edward Ellis
berg of Colorado City, Colo. Another
Colorado boy who will be up among
the ten highest honor midshpmen is
Fred f. Pelton. Another Colorado boy
who will graduate is Adrian r. Mar
ron.
Thousands on thousands of New
Works shop girls and clerks will have
such summer this year as never be-
fore through a Saturday closing and
short hours plan to be put into effect
June Is by several of the biggest
stores of the metropolis
The Rev. Bourk White, in overalls
and jumper and carrying a bucket OF
paint. headed gang OF negro prison
ers in Queens county, NY, jail where
he is serving a six months sentence
for disturbing worshipers in Calvary
Baptist church. and began painting the
interior of the Jail
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1914-05-30
Gave Hecklers a Chance,

At one time the Republicans of Chi
cago were out and were fighting De-
mocracy on industrial conditions and
the putative helplessness of a situa-
ton which did not let the Republic
ans in. A parade was started off and
was well on its way-nearly to the
file closers-when a ward boss saw
that two lighted transparencies lacked
carriers. He looked around hurriedly
and noticed that one of his retainers
was idle. Here" he yelled, "shoul-
der this and get in line" The shang-
haied recruit was gambler who
busted himself in ward politics on oc-
casions, but for the most stuck to his
trade when trade was possible AS he
hoisted the lighted legend, open up
the mills and factories" there was a
chorus Of derisive yells from the side
walk: Never mind the mills. Open
up the poker games"