The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1914-02-03
LITTLE STORIES BY BIG MEN,"
/ UNIQUE LITERARY COMPILATION
First Appearance of a Volume Composed Entirely Of
Short Stories and Anecdotes From the Worlds Big
9 Men and Signed By Them.

WO1G doOaN ~ O1Ix AltO tKI6II OWL u !
But unfortunately. when 1 reached
the doorway in the Capitol, they had
a couple of guardsstationed there to !
keep out h profane. One Of these |
fellows grabbed hold OF me and said: |
Stand back there! Stand back! |
Keep this way clear. You can't go
in there; nobody but Members OF Con-
gress are allowed in there!'
Il said, II you please, sir, I am a
Member
He said, You are a what?'
why I said, I am a Member Of
Congress and my name is Cushman.'
He took out a long printed list.
ran down that list, and said. rs your
name francis w. Cushman?'
Il said, That IS me-
The fellow bowed clear below his
garters, and he said, Pass right in,
Mr.. Cushman.' AS I went through
the swinging doors. he turned to the
other guard and said. Good God, Bill.
Did o e THAR And then he
said, I viii never have the nerve to
stop anything else that shows up!"
Nothing can surpass the good ma
ture which these men have turned
the jokes upon themselves, and the
cloak ROOM" where the go
to enjoy a quiet smoke after the
! heat Of stormy sessions and debates,
| is often the arena of wit and REPAIRED.
| oOAAAC VI AN tO1d have
found their a into Little Stories by
| Big Men,.
President Woodrow Wilson has
~courteously offered three of his best
anecdotes, one OF which is as follows:
"A man got in a cab atthe Richmond
railway station and said, Drive me to
a haberdasher's.'
"'Yaas, suh,' said the driver, whip
ping up his horse. After driving a
block he leaned over the address his
passenger, "Scuse me, Boss, whar d
you say you wanter go?'
ITO a h~aberdasher's.'
Yaas, sub, yaas sun Afte,
another block there was the same in.
quiry. "Scuse me Boss, but whar d
you SAL you wanter go?'
ITO a haberdasher's, was the
somewhat impatient reply.
Then came the final appeal. Now
lookehere, Boss, l ben drivin' in di
town twenty year, and / amt neve.
give nobody away yit. Now, o je
tell dis niger Whar Yis you Wante
CO."
Another anecdote that the Presi
dent presented me for my book is tn
following:
County Tipperary always recalls
story that was told to me by a Lor
, Justice of the Court Of Appeals O
! Ireland. He said he was holding tn
; Assizes in County Tipperary, when
, man was brought before him unde
/. evidence showed that the decease
: had come to his death by reason c
: a blow from a blackthorn stick in tn
: hands Of the defendant.
"The jury found the defendar
guilty.
An examination by the phsiciar
= disclosed the fact that the man ha
. what, in medical parlance, is called
paper skull
THE defendant was brought befor
his Lordship for sentence and aske
if he knew Of any reason why til
" sentence Of the our should not
pronounced upon him. The defend
ant said: No, your Lordship, but
would like to ask one question
What is it, my man?
"1 would like to ask what tt
divvil a mar with a head like TIL
81 was doing in Tipperary?'"
"a Hon. Martin B.. Madden told me
an amusing experience he had at OF
time when he accompanied MAJ
l. Twain on a visit to King Edward.
% is best told In MI. Madden's oV
Re stopped at the hotel at which Ma
,e Twain happened to be. I kne
nt Mark Twain very we'll, and had o
casion to meet him frequently VIII
If there. He was on very friendly teri
be with King Edward, such friend
terms that he was admitted to t
ne Kings presence almost informally
u any time.
lie Zone day he met me as I was e
re tering the hotel and said: Made
ct do you want to see the King"
"'Sure,' l answered.
It. "tAll right, wait a moment. /
ne Just going over, but TIL telephone h.
first tina ] want to bring you alOn
lis Away he went to the phone a
wv as unconcernedly as if he were tie
cir phoning for seats. at an ope.
Presently he returned and said: I
1T all right, Madden, the King will
Of glad to see you.
The visit was entirely inform
Al and with no more ceremony than Q
would expect at a downtown Office.
] "The King and Mark Twain sws
CT ped stories. Here is one OF Ma
.rk Twain's: An English rural sch'
,se teacher. while giving a natural h