davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14
THE GRIMMEST JEST

Written for the Philadelphia Ledger by
David Starr Jordan. Chancellor of Lee
land Stanford. Jr.. University.
In a recent number of a popular mag
azine a well-known writer uses these
words: Towering over the Carnegie
Plein glitters the Peace palace, history 8
grimmest jest and the worlds greatest
nonument to failure
Disregardlng the animus of this cheap
speer, let us look at the facts.
Those people who have struggled to pre-
vent this war and who have. worked for
the supremacy of law and decency over
intrigue and greed in international af-
| fairs have found in Holland for the last 20
years hospitable reception. Holland lies
| outside the currents of militarism and of
rival explorations, which in an accelerat-
| ing degree have threatened to ruin Eu-
,, rope. The courtesy of the capital city of
Holland has found place for the meeting
| of those conferences and tribunals devoted
to the extension of security and law. The
friends of peace have also met in other
capitals. notably in Brussels Berne and
Stockholm, but of all available cities.
The Hague has been usually the most
convenient
In recognition of these needs, Mr.. Car
negie gave to the government of Holland
something over 81 100000, to be used for the
erection of halls adequate for the varied
purposes of international activity. The
people of Holland have put up handsome
building in the Dutch style of red and
white brick, and they have surrounded it
by beautiful garden.
Inc building does not glitter" nor Is
it in any sense palace" though it's
Dutch name. "vredenpalast," translates
itself as peace palace"
No one expected that hall of meeting
would of itself. bring peace to a careless
greedy world which spent half its earn
ings on the cultivation of hate. 1t was
simply a. meeting place for those who
believed in the future rule of sanity and
who served a sause that must ultimately
triumph, cause which must outlast
armies and aavies and kings and en-
pires. Not to believe that civilization
can be made law-abiding would be to de-
spair of human destiny.
Just now we cannot meet in these halls,
for the law-breakers of Europe have
brought chaos in all international rela-
tons. 1t is understood that one of the
faithful, Prof. Ludwig Quidde, of Munich
finds his place there and when the chan
nels of travel are opened we shall find 1000
men ready for. the war against war to
where there was one in the careless and
cynical days before 1914.
Shall we ever need these halls again?
Is the riot of murder and robbery for
which no man nor nation dare stand spon-
sor the last word in history? Is all human
achievement to go the way of Malines and
Lcuvain and Rheims? Is there no power
higher than the armed state? Is there no
public opinion, no voice of God above
the voice of the howitzer? Is the rush
of rival military efficiencies the end of our
Christian civilization?
We do not believe this. We have faith
in man, and therefore in the God within
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14
IN HOTEL LOBBIES


Il am here to attend the annual con-
vention of the Alabama Hotel Mems as
ISOLATION" said Ben p Branham of Chi
cago, president of the Hotel Bulletin
Publishing company OF that city. He is
also vice president of the Louisville
Courier-Journal Job Printing company.
Il lived in Birmingham % years ago;
worked here as printer about nine
months. I can see from my room on one
of the high floors of the Tutwiler that this
city has grown to great size, and before
[ leave I shall take pleasure in much
sightseeing. | had no idea, when l was
a resident here in the early days, that
Birmingham would ever become the hand
some city that one finds it now
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

While it is extremely difficult, authori-
Ties declare TO make an accurate esti-
mate of Turkeys war footing, it is not
believed that she could put more than
100000 fully armed and equipped soldiers
in the field, and that would represent her
maximum effort. Some estimates place
the number of men at more than 1000 600.
but military experts in the United States
incline to the smaller figure. In 1910 a re-
vision of the Turkish military system was
made. At that time the term of service
was 20 years. from the age of 20 to 40
for all Ottoman subjects. Formerly Chris
ton subjects of the empire were exempt
but had to pay an exoneration tax. 1t is
believed that they are now subject to SER
vice. The total war strength of Turkish,
infantry in 1910 was given out ass1. 500. OoO
riflemen, not counting other branches of
the service, but this statement Is gen
orally discredited. The reorganization of
Turkish troops was under way under the
direction of Gen. Won der Goltz when the
war of the Balkan states broke or.. but
the work was far from being completed
The Turks were taken at a disadvantage
and suffered a series of crushing defeats
The morale and prestige of the whole
| army was seriously impaired. Since the
| Balkan war the work of reorganization
has been carried on, but it is hard to sa,
how much progress has been made
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

BY Joaquin Miller.
The bravest battle that ever was fought,
Shall / tell you where and when?
On the maps of the world you will find
it not;
1t was fought by the mothers of men,
Nay not with cannon or battle shot,
With sword or nobler PEN
Nay. not with eloquent word or thought.
From the mouths of wonderful men.
But deep in "a walled-up woman's
heart
OF woman that would not yield;
But patiently silently bore her part
Lo! there in that battle field
No marshaling troops, no bivouac song;
No banner to CLEAN and wave:
And, o these battles they last so long
From the babyhood to the grave,
Yet, faithful still as n bride, of stars
She fights in her walled-up town
Flights on and on in the endless wars.
Then silent. unseen--goes down.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

a girl, who ought to be allowed to
run loose and grow up in normal,
healthy atmosphere.
The coddling of poodle dogs, now so
common in this country, should by all
means be encouraged, since it appre-
eiably shortens the lives of the
poodles, but needless pampering of
children is another matter. While the
open air schoolroom, used all the year
around, may be an unnecessarily Sc
we're test of the fresh air theory, it is
always possible for young people, as
well as their elders, to get fresh air
in the greatest abundance, and there
is no excuse for not absorbing it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14
Wisdom From DIR. WILEY

The old fashioned man who believed
that boy never would amount to any
thing if he didn't trough it" and ac-
cumulate every day enough dirt to call
for good scrubbing has an advocate
in DR.. Harvey w. Wiley, former chief
of the bureau of chemistry, whose
sapient observations frequently find
their way into print.
"Three-quarters of the children who
die are killed by love-" declared DR..
Wiley in a strong condemnation of
"coddling." "Love is the greatest as
sasin. If a great holocaust were to
burn down every home we would get
rid of tuberculosis. If farmers would
burn all barns there would be nc
tuberculosis among cows. Fresh air
not cough medicine, is needed fol
colds"
Incidentally it will be seen that the
"fresh air fiend" is given unqualified
Endorsement by an expert, although
the value of fresh air is now so gen
orally recognized that only the mos
reactionary question it. In saying
"Love is the greatest assassin" the
good doctor means, of course, the sor1
of love, found most often in dotine
mothers, that pampers child anc
makes q ''hothouse' plant of a boy, OF
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14
Merchants Will Have Busy Week

With Christmas less than two
weeks off the merchants of Birming-
ham will find business extremely
brisk today and tomorrow and in fact
right up to the most popular holiday
of the year.
AS a rule the weather mans fore
casts are for two days only, but for
special occasions his soothsayings are
for a longer period. He may tell us
soon just what sort of weather to ex-
pect for Christmas.
This weeks weather will probably
be cold and therefore seasonable, but
no matter how inclement or unseason-
able the days between now and the
25th of this month may be Christmas
shopping is at its heighth.
If the pay rolls in this district have
not been as large recently as they
were last year there is nevertheless a
great deal of money in circulation and
1t is safe to say that the cash trade
of the merchants this week will be
almost if not quite up to normal.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14
LUKE M'LUkE SAYS.
| the Cincinnati Enquirer.

FROM the CINCINNATI Enquirer.
What has become of the old-fash-
lived in a $500 house?
When some other mans wife does
anything, man will say: How wo-
manly!' And when his own wife does
anything he will say: That's just like
womanW And there's an awful DIFF
ference between the two statements.
A woman can come home in a cab
and nobody thinks anything of it. But
II her husband does it everybody knows
that he Is soused.
You might imagine that "A homely
girl would be greateful to man for
marrying her. But after she gets you
she Will roast you just as much as If
she was the prettiest thing in town
when you shared her.
man might possibly use that In
side vest pocket once a year. But why
Is the belt on the back of an overcoat
Every spring, when the SUN is warm
and the birds are singing, a man throws
his overcoat into the corner of closet
because he knows he will be able to buy
a new one when winter comes around
again And the next fall, when it starts
to snow, he finds that he is broke, as
usual, and the old coat feels mighty
good to him.
You have to teach a child everything
else in school. But you never have to
teach 1T to put pencils in its mouth
highbrow states that there are |,
100000 too many women in the United
States. And there are 1000, 900 .hus-
| bands in the United States who will
| agree with him.
| Lots of people who have their beef
and booze carried in the back entrance
| to their homes in disguised packages
| Will be awfully mad when they get t.
heaven if they find that st. Peter has
admitted any of the fellows who openly
rushed the GROWER when they Were
alive.
A bride won't believe it, But the
only way she can marry both u lover
and a provider is to commit bigamy.
! The sort of fellow who is proud be-
cause he wears No 6 shoes usual,
wears that size in hats, too.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

commonwealth the less. because our re-
lationships in general were not uncom-
mon. Also, though himself satisfying his
pride enough in being the head of the
sherry trade, he felt and saw in his son
powers which had not their full scope
I'm wine selling. His ideal of my future
now entirely formed In conviction of my
genius-was that I should enter at col
lege into the best society take all the
prizes every year, and a double first
TO hnlsh with; marry Lady Clara We're
de We're; write poetry as good as By
ron's~ only pious; preach sermons as good
as Boussuet's, only Protestant; be made,
at 40 bishop of Winchester, and at 50
primate of,England., !"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14
Was a Famous Diplomat

William w. Rochhill, who died In Hon.
most thoroughly trained and successful
diplomats this country has produced,
said John L. Renson, formerly of Wash
ington, but now of New York.
Mr.. Rockhill was born in Philadelphia
In 1854, but having married lady of
Litchfeld, Conn.,, in the year 1900 he re-
moved his residence to that city He was
as modest as he was able. 1 knew him
quite well, and more charming gentle
man l cannot recall. He was one of the
few men high in the diplomatic service
who served under both democratic and re-
publican administrations.
He had received part of his education
in Paris. OF course he spoke French
We'll and he was a master of several other
languages. He begun his diplomatic SER
vice as second secretary of the United
States legation at Picking in 1884. He was
charge daffaires at Seoul, Corea, in
ditions to China and to Thibet under the
auspices of the Smithsonian institute.
He was chief clerk of the state de-
partment in 1884; third assistant secre-
tary of state, 1915; first assistant, 1885,
7. 1t was in 1896 when Mr.. Rockhill was
acting Secretary of State that I first met
him. President Mckinley appointed him
minister to Greece, Roumania and Ser
via. After returning from abroad he was
several years director of the International
Bureau of American Republics, now the
IDor,. A ~,
rett is director, In 1905 Mr.. Rockhill was
sent as minister to China; 1909 as ambas-
sador to Russia. Later he was sent as
ambassador to Turkey. One of his most
important achievements was his settle
ment of the Boxer troubles in China in
1901, having been delegated especially for
that delicate work. When he died Mr.
Rockhill was on his way to Picking to take
up his duties as the newly appointed ad-
wiser to President Yuan Shi Kali"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14
Conditions bearing on Next Crop

In making plans for another cotton
crop, while it is the part of wisdom for
farmers to diversity, yet certain condi-
lions must be taken into consideration, p
said former cotton man.
There are thousands of acres in Ala
bama cultivated by negro tenants. Under
favorable conditions they are a contented.
happy class. They pay a money rental
as rule. They must, under the present
ORDER grow money-producing crop lust
as the 'worm-killers' in the tobaeco-grow-
ing states must grow quickly convert
able-into-money crop. Many estates. in
GLIDING widows and orphans, own farm
ing lands in this state, occupied by ne
groes. 1t is their dependence for SUM-
port.
The present prices of cotton will drive
many negroes to the public works and
to the cities. When cotton was 1919 cents.
hundreds of negroes returned to the
farms, where they could enjoy a fair
amount of freedom and not be bounded
by the fee-grabbers on trifling charges
We will see hundreds returning and talk
ing chances driven by necessity to get
money for clothing and other needs.
Il notice that the chief clerk of the
state agricultural department is about
to visit another state to investigate the
boil weevil(D For why? Perhaps the
bankers OF the state are sending him
as an ambassador to invite Gen. Boil
WeeviP and his army to hurry ,,p and
heip cut down next years cotton cropp
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14
BEGINNING TIL

grant me to live ON the hills, where
the mir is clean and the sky is close.
Teach me that Thou hast prepared
a country for me here and now
which flows with milk and honey.
Forbid that 1 should wait until an
other time to sit beside Thee in
Thy place. In Christ's name. Amen.
III. NJ. f.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

Mr.. Taft is being suggested as possible
nominee for the presidency. and Just at
time, too. when he has practically won
back all the popularity he lost in the
White House
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

In explaining his views on the war,
o. Bernard Shaw let's 1t be understood
that he takes himself seriously. even if
about nine-tenths of the people in the
world do not
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

The college professor who says a man
could live on alcohol and sugar seems
to be putting in good word for the old
fashioned toddy, "a modicum of water, we
presume, being permissible.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

While there is no doubt of Santa Claus
neutrality, there are some parts of the
war zone where he will have difficulty
in keeping his engagements.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

Ambassador Herrick modestly disclaims
the presidential boom launched for him
although there is not much danger OF
its becoming an incubus.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

The frequency with which the pictures
of debutantes are being published in the
newspapers is encouraging, since they
show that a few fathers of young daugh-
tiers can still afford to pay for a coming
out party.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

Nearly everybody is now convinced that
the stories of war atrocities are fabrica-
tons, as well as the stories of a great
many victories
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

Al Reeves appears to be another sue
cessful theatrical manager who couldn' t
manage his wife
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

with all the fuss it made, the recent
storm ON the Atlantic seaboard did only
$750,000 worth of damage.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

Although Dorothy Arnold is probably
dead, certain newspapers show no dis
position to let her rest in peace.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

Dublin professor has written a Greek
version of God Save the King" He
should now try his hand at ''Tipperary.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

While the Empress of japan is writing
war poetry, she at least does not insist
ON circulating it throughout California.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

Inc hussky Invalid, it should be ex-
planned is Russian newspaper and not
a sick soldier
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

II appears that the Sons of Plato" in
Mississippi were organized for anything
rather than the study of Greek philos-
ophy.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

organized oaseball' can no longer look
on the Federal league as a mushroom
growth"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

he thou ms chaste as lee, as pure rs
snow, thou shalt not escape caiumny.
Hamlet.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14
Excellent Cafe Service

THE cafe service in Birmingham is
excellent said travelling man." and
my business life necessitates my nat
ronizing them at all hours. FREQUENTLY
have to take 8 a. m. train and come
down and get an early breakfast at one
of the 'all-night' places. The prompt
service, generous and wholesome fare
Is a god-send to fellow who is go.
ing out to make trip to country
towns, or perhaps station with 8
long drive in a vehicle.
"The counter service Is popular be-
cause of quick service and no tips
which last makes an item in a trav.
cling mans account. I visit one towr
where there Is a So called hotel charg.
ing So per day. The hands held ou
for tips run all the way from two por
ters, bell boy, a fireman and ever
the cook for simple favor, some fiv,
in all, besides the dining room Sene
gambian, who, in megaphone voice
asks you. How'd yer have yer aigs? ;
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14
Ruskin Had Humor

In reaulng RuSklnS Praeterita,' a
charming photographed work pub
lished only few years before the great
mans DEATH have been impressed with
touches of real humor-something quite
absent in his other books.'' said a pro-
fessional man.
"In Ruskins large and widely read
works, Modern Painters and Stones OF
Venice and in his popular lectures, Sc
same and Lilies and Crown of Wild
Olives / recall no trace of humor, but II
seems thar in his youth RuslSin had his
playful moods. Fine irony and sometimes
bit of cyhicism gave pungency to GER
tain of his writings, but of humor there
was none. In Ruskins 'Praeterita, how.
ever there is delicious satire, telling irony
matchess eloquence and subtle humor
Ruskin, as all his admirers know believed
In kings and queens, and lords and ladies
He believed in tory politics, although so.
cially he was extremely democratic. He
would take as much interest in a hoe
carrier or in truck driver as he would
In man of high breeding.
"Ruskin's father was wine merchant
but in those days there was nothing in
compatible in the minds of evangelical
churchmen with traffic in alcoholic bev.
erages and pure religion. Ruskin was sat.
,urated with the Bible and was profound
ly religious, although not In a lorna
way. He would have been the last mar
| in the world to fit well in holy orders
and as for ecclesiastical preferment h.
| would have laughed at the idea of hi.
| ever being a bishop. Yet his father ant
| mother and very pious aunt had theil
hearts set on his being an evangelical
clergyman. This paragraph from Prae
terita which he wrote shortly after ma
| circulation at Christ Church college, Ok
| ford, is spiced with humor:
! My father did not like the wore
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1914-12-14

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala,
postoffice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1914-06-11
CASHED A CHECK,
DOUBTS FOLLOW

On Friday night one of the men en-
ployed at the Cahoon mine strolled into
the Filhauer saloon and presented a
check for 81 cents and he was given
SOL co. The mistake was not discover
ed until the bank opened this morning.
There was no difficulty in locating the
original owner of the check and by that
time he had only about eight dollars
left. When questioned as to the
amount of money he received he said
that he was too intoxicated to know
anything alb out it.
He was taken to jail and further
investigation was made. 1t did not
eem possible that he could spend so
much money in so short time. If he had
been given $51 it is thought he must have
been robbed of portion of the ducats.
The question Immediately arose
whether or not crime had been COM
mitted. The lawyers seem to be dlvld-
ed on the question, so ne say there has
been and some say there has not.
After some discussion it was decided to
hold him for trial on the charge of lar
ceny.
He gave his name as Mike Miller
and his case will come up in Justice
Halsted's court later.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1914-06-11
SPlII1 GREEN

Thomas Norton of Dodgeville is here
for a few days visit with old friends
and neighbors.
Mr.. and Mrs. G. W. Nc Cready of
Baraboo spent week visiting friends
here recently.
Work commenced last week on
the streets in the village. Macadam
will be placed on them except in the
heart of the village where they will be
concreted.
Stephen Meise has gone to visit his
old home in Baden, Germany. Mr..
Meise has a sister and his mother
iviag in the German city.
Mrs. Louis Schlosser underwent an
operation for appendicitis last week at
the old sanitarium, Prairie du Chen.
Mrs. J. H. Bear spent last week with
relatives here.
S. w. Fairchild, the milk man, has
recently installed fine new
covered milk wagon to be used in the
delivery of milk around town.
Strawberries are ripe, but the crop
is not as prolific as some years.
Mr.. and Mrs. L. A. Brown OF Madi-
son spent Memorial day in Spring Green,
their former home.
Baraboo weekly news. [volume] (Baraboo, Wis.) 1912-197?, 1914-06-11
RED S0X SHUT
OUT POVNETTE

BY score of II to 0 the Red Sox dis
posed of the largely reinforced Poy-
nette team with very little effort. Poy-
nette made widely scattered hits off
Dodge, who was at no time in trouble.
Baraboo made II hits off Me Kinzie and
Peace and earned of their II runs.
Anderson led at the bat with 3 singles,
closely followed by Dodge with two
singles and Thompson with single and
double. In the second inning Bara-
boo made runs of which 8 were earn
ed. Pitchers were even on strike outs
piece.
Owing to an auto blow out the Poy-
nette team did not arrive until 4:40
and the game was called at 6 p. m.
Only innings were played.
Umpire-Ross.