The Washington herald., 1914-08-23

My frens,' said Brother Gdrdner AT
the last meeting OF the Llme-Kiln Club,
Il was in hopes dat at dis session might
! be able to report dat ridin' de bike had
! worked some improvement in my bow
legs. but ! cannot so report
/ Il frankly acknowledge dat I ar still
] afraid pf de critter.
He rca-s W. He kicks up.
| He lodges. He shies.
He runs me into de fence, and he
bumps me into house
He sots out TO go sumwhar' and den
] brings up sumwhar' else.
Il ar a bruised and busted man, but
| shall stick 10 IL awhile longer, and mean
while We will hang de follerin' notices un
| de walls
/ 1T is better to take a tumble than to
meet a cable car head on"
If you must swear, then swear with
| dignity and lay the blame on the other
| fellow
The lamp-post was here before the
bike"
You owe it to humanity to make a
long turn around the corners"
No religion will jump a bike over an
open ditch"
] providence never helps the bikest who
I goes out with his lamp UnIighted."
The punctured tire comes TO the just
as well as the unjust
The secretary then announced the fol-
lowing replies to letters sent out within
I the last month:
A COlOTed man in Alabama wrote that
up to a year ago the TazOr-backed hog
was the fastest thing on legs in the whole
South. and after seventy-ive years OF
useless effort the cOlOTed population had
given up trying to catch him. Then the
bike was introduced and now the hog lies
righ, down without squea. and becomes
roast pork.
A colored man in Illinois wrote that be
fore the bike came he was bald-headed.
hump-backed, lop-shOUldered. and sui
fered with Catarrh. sore throat. near
sightedness and rheumatism. Sixty days
of riding had made such a change in him
that a constable who was holding a war
rant for his arrest on charge Of alb
ductlng a hen passed him by several
times daily. In sixty days more he eN-
pected TO get away from his wife and
seven children and begin life all over
again.
A letter from Ohio announced that the
writer had been so troubled with insom-
MIA that sometimes he had not slept 70
thirty nights at a time. He had tried
stealing ham from a butcher shop and
COINS 10 jail for a month, carrying of
ten rods OF sidewalk for flrewOod. shoot
ing CrsTs, borrowing money and running
IN uetl. DNI ntllluE ne4Ieu MN .lltll ne
began to gide the bike. After getting out
on the road five times he fell asleep and
ran into a toll gate, and since then his
slumbers are so sound that his wife has
to lick all the children in rotation and
pour a pail OF water over him before
, he can be aroused.
\ colored man in West Virginia wrote
from county jail in the nature OF an
appeal He was a bikest and had been
mi
apprehension. He didn't complain of that.
as everybody. even the President of the
United States was liable to be mistaken
for another man and sent to jail any day,
hut the only harsh thing was thai the
jailer refused 10 furnish bikes for the
TTlsone- or let them ont To borrow
wheels. The law might deprive a man
OF his liberty. hut did the lawmakers in
tend To deprive a man 0f the pTivIl"E"
OF riding a bike II could not be. and
ne hoped he club would take action At
once. Every jail and prison ought to BE-
provided with a bicycle track. and every
such institution should he provided with
from one To ten machines TO. the Use
OF the prisoners
judge Tarhecl Jones then arose and
called up the case OF Suadown Green.
against whom charges We're preferred at
the last meeting for abandoning his wife
and creating a TubliC scandal TO the det-
riment OF the club. The judge had hccI
appointed a committee Of one 10 tho =
Oughly investigate the case. and ue hI3
performed his duties Conscientiously. II"
had found the cause of the trouble To- d"
that Mrs. Green did not ride bike 81"
was a very devou' person. and she could
not mix the bike ard her religion. Her
husband had no such scruHlcs. and he
rode-henCe clash. The wife had rar-
ried things to such a point that the his
band had been compelled to leave home
to enjoy any peace OF mind Here was a
question affecting the domestic peace Of
thousands OF homes. II the husband rode
a bike and the wife didn't Shouldn't she
sacrifice any feeling >Ic mlEh; have for
the sake Of the good I was doing him
Should she meet him with club at his