South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-01-08

said the teacher. "Oh. If only mose
OF the boys would do little supple
mentary reading
1t often happens that persons
handling the great affairs Of state be-
have much like ANYBODY else. For eX-
ample. one night the president de-
sired TO hold = brief telephone con-
versatiOn with the secretary Of state.
So the white house exchange under
took TO call William Jennings Bryan
20 the telephone. But Bryan or some
one had carelessly left the receiver
down.
Now what do you suppose happen
ed If il had been Jim Hicks trying
10 call Phil Harper in Sedalia.
Pills receiver was down. Jim would
nave called one OF the neighbors and
asked somebody TO tell Phil 10 go to
his phone. That was precisely what
happened when the president was en-
deavoring to talk TO the secretary Of
state. The white house called up a
near neighbor who happened TO be a
justice of the supreme court Of the
United States. and asked him il he
wouldn't send word over 10 Mr.. Bry-
an to hang up his receiver.
1t has been noted with a great deal
of CONSERVATION here of late by
| friends OF Victor Murdoch, the pro-
gressive leader, that Victor is put
ting on a lot of weight. In a little
while, at the same rate of increase,
he will be a fat man No one would
place any great stress on this fact, as
| there are lots of fat men running
! loose, but Victor forged to the front
just short time ago as one of the
leading opponents OF the delights and
advantages of a rigorous diet, and a
slender figure. Starting in with a
| waist line like a brownie, he trained
down until he had TO have all his
clothes made over and looked like a
man just emerging from a III ger
strike, for the good Of the order. He
had long list of rules about diet and
would neither eat much himself nor
| let anybody else eat much without
4 first giving q long talk about the
perils of obesity. So. now that he Is
putting on weight again, he was
asked TO explain.
.Oh. I've grown careless about my
diet" confessed Victor. I've been
eating two meals a day. and no man
| ought to eat more than one"
Rep. "Hampy" Moore, of PhiladeI-
phia, walked into one of the capitol
restaurants the other day and order
ed a small steak. When it came it
was SO small that he had grave diff
/ Guilty in spreading it out enough to
! comprise one good bite. Eating such
steak was about as satisfactory as
merely reading about food.
Il ordered steak, and not a mere
suggestion of steak" observed
'Hampy'' to the colOred waiter.
We'll sah," explained the waiter,
| you ordered small steak, and
that'n was the smallest 1 could find,
sab"
On an average of twice a year, Rep.
Ben Johnson of Kentucky gets it into
| his head 10 buy a buffalo. He writes
! to the leading buffalo dealers for their
| catalogue and price lists, and derives
a great deal OF pleasure from viewing
| with his minds eve the landscape of
| his Kentucky farm with the large
buffalo grazing on the hillside. But
| when it gets right down to a point
where the next move is to buy the
| buffalo. Johnson always reneges. He
has deer on his farm, and wild
| boar. and other interesting mann
malta of the field and forest, such as
! COWS and horses, and he wants a buff
| falO, but something invariably
prompts him sto slow up just before
| committing himself on paper. He
pauses, reconsiders wonders what he
would do with q buffalo if he had
| one, and postpOnes action. Then for
| six months a buffalo never enters his
| head. Sooner or later, though, he
completes the cycle and begins his
| dickering for a buffalo all over again.
Copyright, 1914, by Fred G. Kelly.
All rights reserved.)