The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1914-01-09

American Indian or the white man Z.
How many square feet are there in
10 by IS foot room?
Eighth.-If the cook were found lntox.
lcated at o'clock p. IN. and no din
ner prepared. what would you do?
NInth-Give an instance of anna
bility in woman II your husband
should abuse you while making pies
what would you do with the rolling
pin?
Tenth.-Are you a suffragette?
EleYenth.-Do you approve of the
present fashion I'm dress for women?
Twelfth.-Do you object to the word
"obey" in the marriage service?
The idea of marriage by competitive
examination having got into Billy's
head, he couldn't get 1t out. lie knew
a dozen girls to whom he would like
to PROFOUND these dozen questions;
but, being a modest chap. he shrank
from announcing to them that he would
marry the girl whose average replies
were the most satisfactory to him.
Then 1t occurred to him to put 1t that
he would propose to the winner. That
didn't sound so bad.
1t took him a week to get up his
courage to send out his examination
papers The first surprise he received
after doiBg 80 was an enormous mum
Der of letters from young ladies to
whom he hadn't sent the questions.
asking for them. This convinced him
that he had not made a guy of him
self. However. he sent out no more
papers, combining himself to those girls
he knew personally.
He concluded not to open any of the
replies until they were all in. To his
surprise, he received answers to every
examination paper sent out When he
counted dozen mlssiyes he locked
himself in his room and opened them
At the first he turned pale. One Of
the questions, No. o, concerning anna
bIlity, was answered. "If you came
upon me while making pies, even with
a smile on your face. | would bring
the rolling pin down on your head"
The second letter was more quescent
The writer evidently took the submis
sion OF an examination paper In good
part. She gave her ideas of the duties
OF a wife, gave something humorous
copied from Mark Twain and failed
completely on the educational ques
TONS The others she answered meek
ly. Five examination papers were sent
back with None Of your business
written in the space for reply to No.
8, "What is your age" One girl re-
piled to No. 10, Are you suffragette2"
"Yes, and have no use for husband
either; at any rate. not for you"
One question was answered by ev-
cry girl who was not too hot to give
a courteous reply and at length, 1t
was No. IL, DO you approve of the
present fashion in dress for women2"
Seven young ladies wrote replies to
this ranging from ten to twenty-four
pages.
Billy was very much cut up at the
replies to question No. 3, Are you
new woman or an old one2" noticing
for the first time that he had not been
careful in his phraseology Some of
the replies were: What impudencew
"Old or young, you're not suitable
age for me-" "Tm of the new woman
kind, but am still young enough to
hope for husband without submitting
to a competitive examination"
Finally Billy struck reply that came
upon him as refreshingly as cool
breeze after a ninety-nine in the shade
day. 1t was from Bessie Trask. She
filed out every question. as follows:
First.-The first duty of a wife is to
be loved devotedly by her husband.
Second. - can't write anything
funny.
Third.-Pm a new woman, but ]
won't be after my next birthday.
Fourth.-No mother-in-law on my
side. How about yours?
Fifth.-Concerning my age, see No. 3,
Slxth.-lt would depend on whether
was tired and cross myself how ]
would treat tired husband.
Seventh.-Never happened to see
cory OF the constitution. There's no
use knowing the correct use of shall"
and will" because no one else does,
Can master "who" or whom" but
can't give the rule. America rightfully
belongs to the Indian and wrongfully
to the white man, possession being
nine points OF the law. There are H.
600 square feet In room IL by IS.
Eighth.-With drunken cook and no
dinner my dear husband would un-
doubtedly dine and wine me at first
class restaurant
Ninth.-An instance of amiabillty In
a woman is my own sweet self in re-
plying to these questions. Rolling pins
are for pies, stickpins for woman's de-
Tense.
Tenth.-Not interested in the sufrra-
gette movement.
Eleventh. should dress to please
hubby,
Twelfth.-Don't object to the word
"obey" in the marriage service in the
slightest or any other promise.
by Joye," exclaimed Billy; that's
the girl for mel Now | coma m think