Ashland tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1876-1919, 1914-02-02
The Home Circle
Thoughts from the Editorial Pen
The Value of Good Manners.
(Martha J Nichols, in American
Motherhood

III you could give your children
but one of the two-manners or
money-which would you give?"
asked mother when chatting with
a friend.
Manners, my dear-manners, of
course. How could | endure to see
my son or my daughter constantly
laundering around, treading on 9TH
er's toes, being disliked, coming to
limitations because of rudeness and
awkwardness, even if they had mint
of money!"
We'll, / suppose you are right, yet
| am constantly hearing that fine
manners are the stock in trade of
those who are insincere and want to
carry selfish schemes through"
THAT is sometimes true, we all
know-a phase of hypocrisy-but it
makes no difference in the high worth
of really good manners, the kind that
can rightly be called the minor NOR
alities because of being in line with
the Golden Rule. | am sure that if
manners don't make the man. they
do make man-and a woman, too
of far more value in the world than
they could otherwise be. Oh, wish
| could just make every boy and girl
know the real worth of good manners
and good manner"
Courtesy, a pleasing way, gentle
ness, as an asset in life, can hardly
be overestimated. The diamond in
the rough and the diamond set in
gold as jewel are not farther apart
in beauty and worth than are the un-
mannerly person and the person he
might be if only he had the polish
that some one has called the "regalia
of civilization"
We classify some people as nice"
They may not be wealthy, fashion
able, brilliant, highly educated or
highly connected, yet they are popu-
lar, welcome everywhere, doors of
privilege open before them, questions
as to whether they may move in real
ly best society" never trouble them.
Why are these things true? A
careful study of the nice" person S
ways would reveal the fact that the
charm has its roots both in what they
do and what they leave undone. They
offer little kindnesses in simple ways,
they appeal to the best in Others in
such way as to please. They leave
out disagreeables so gracefully that
others forget what might be. They
make situations pleasant for others.
They leave out snarls and angry
tones, accents of contempt; they say
what they think best in a tactfully
pleasant way. They refrain from ask
ing questions or making comments
that can annoy others, they conduct
themselves with regard to others
physical comforts and little personal
rights without seeming to do so. They
have good table manners, good parlor
manners, good church manners, good
railway manners and so on and on.
It's impossible to tell all that they
do or refrain from doing.
If one could go about the world
sitting family troubles of all kinds
down to first causes, he would find
that a large percentage of them have
their beginnings in lack of home po-
liteness. The party of the first part
is needless as to personal habits at
the table, in the living room, in other
rooms; is selfishly forgetful, is rude,
or peevish, or inconsiderate; is unnec-
essarily severe in speech; and the
party of the second part is annoyed,
hurt, discouraged, says things" be-
gins to play at tit for tat. All-round
courtesy would be as oil on troubled
waters.
A bright, pretty girl who might be
an ornament to society is "snubbed,"
sighted, left out in the cold and
grieves over it, all because she will
not wake up to the fact that she must
be considerate, pleasant, sweet in her
intercourse with others. Well-be-
haved people who may like her in
some ways and could befriend her So
cially must be sure that she will not
make bad breaks before they are will
ing to introduce her to other we'll
behaved people, A good many young
men are just little sour, or defiant
about social life simply because they
ignore the laws of simple good be-
havior. They let themselves be ''im-
possible" socially and thereby lose
man advantages.
A merchant employing many clerks
once said that II young people could
or would only realize the value of
ordinary politeness they would be
surprised at their own successes. An
other man controlling large business
interests was talking with an old
time friend and relating some of his
a.n