The Washburn leader., 1914-08-28
An important
Analysis
BY EUNlcE BLAKE


brides going to the altar, have long
been happy wife and the mother Of
children, but in my case, SO far as my
feelings were concerned the word
should be halter instead of altar. Sen
sitive women are liable to collapse on
the eve Of their marriage. And why
not? Every one knows that marriage
is lottery But to say that one will
either draw prize or a blank is alb
surd. One doesn't draw a blank in
the lottery Of marriage; it is either a
prize or Tartarus. ..
l confess that as girl was emo
uonal, and Ihave now eradicated emo
ton from my nature. had several
offers of marriage and chose John as
the most desirable of the lot. I felt
every confidence in him. My only trou-
BILE was that didn't seem to feel any
different the day after became en-
gagged to him than the day before
There was lot Of emotion during the
middle day of the three, but somehow
on the third, it seemed to have van
ished. ... ~t. To-. l.4.
I was frightened. What had l done?
Engaged myself to man whom did
not love? How could have felt all
that lovingness-I use the word for
want of a better-1 experienced the
day John proposed to me and accept
ed him? From, the heavens had
sunk to bottomless pit. would have
given the world to undo what l had
done. Why not undo it? Because
there was sort of subconsciousness
in me that was making ninny of
myself. How could l, who had re-
sponded to my lovers words and ca
resses one day, tell him the next that
l had made prodigious mistake?
Besides what assurance had I, should
l make this confession, that l would
not be as much cast down day later
because l had broken the engagement?
had the good sense to keep away
from John for couple of days. at
the end of which time recovered
Indeed, when met my fance again I
was back in that emotional condition
commonly called love. Love! In four
letters are described that which is the
foundation of the world. And yet when
we speak of it between young persons
who are about to mate think it would
better be called emotional insanity.
This is not real love. though l admit
it may be the beginning of real love.
soon recovered my equanimity and
sailed on smoothly for the four months
Of my engagement. was occupied
preparing my trousseau, and that kept
me from asking myself every few
minutes whether or no was really in
love. think if John had paid bit
of attention to another girl should
have known quite definitely whether
l loved him or not. But he was not
that kind of fellow at all. He was
perfectly satisfied with me, and l con-
cealed from him the fact that was
constantly fighting doubts whether l
loved him we'll enough to marry him.
remained in this condition of men,
tai hesitancy till few days before
the day appointed for the wedding;
then l had terrible breakdown.
analysed my feelings thoroughly. and
the analysis was very unsatisfactory.
There is nothing SO incapable Of analy-
sig as love unless it be poem. But
made what l considered Il number of
analyses, and every one proved more
ccnclusively than the preceding that ]
was about to marry man for whom
had only friendship.
1 resisted the temptation to tell him
so till l could Withstand 1t no longer,
then sent for him. He saw the mo-
ment he looked at me that there was
something the matter.
"What is it. sweetheart" he asked
anxiously.
There was something in the word
sweetheart that threw me back on my
self as an engine reversed. But felt
that what was troubling me must come
out.
II am very miserable.
That's singular. I'm very happy"
II am afraid don't love you we'll
enough to marry you"
He took my avowal in very un-
loverlike manner. He should have
ground his teeth and tore his hair. He
did nothing Of the kind.
"A sort of stage fright?"
mo; l have long been in doubt. And
today have analyzed my feelings
and
Sin what laboratory did you do it?"
I'm the laboratory Of introspection."
did you put your love into test
tube?'
81 suppose that would express it
fguratively."
well. if it didn't turn out to be
love what did it turn out to be?"
II don't know"
1T doesn't matter to us since it isn't
love. I'll countermand the orders CIV
en- in preparation for the wedding. The
cards are out. We can't recall them"
"That's the most terrible thing about
it."
Terrible! There's nothing terrible
in that. We were not going to be
married to please these persons. II
at the last moment we find we're going