davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30
Never Fails

Lfe's grim pervcrsity appals,
And makes one frown.
The darn fly paper always falls
sticky side down.
Kansas City Journal
"Jife's cussedness would try a saint"
l loudly cry.
The painted chair I sat upon
Was not vet dry.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30
A Winner

Theirs Nas a man in our town
And he was wondrous smart;
There never was an auto that
The fellow couldn't start.
There never was a trolley car,
There never was a train,
There never was vessel that
He galloped for in vain.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30
A Useful Invention

"I reckon" said Farmer Corntossel las
how mebbe barbed-wire ought to be counted
as one Of the most useful inventions Of the
age"
For what reaSon?"
when there's a lot o. work to be done,
barbed-wire makes it impossible fur feler
to sit on the fence an look on."-Washington
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30
Exposing an Epicure

The epicure provokes a smile:
He babbles on and will not hush;
He talks champagne and reedbirds while
The doctor feeds him oatmeal mush.
Washington Star.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30
Applied Appellatiyes

Mother" asked Tommy, 'is it correct to
say that you water a horse when he is
thirsty?"
Yes, my dear" said his mother.
well, then" said Tommy, picking up
saucer, I'm going to milk the cat."-Ladies'
Home Journal.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30
Violated Neutrality

"Why, Johnny, what's the matter with
you?"
I'VE had free fight. mother"
What do you mean?"
There's % fightin' natiOnalities in our
school, mother and only three stayed neu
tral."-Clcveland Plain Dealer.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30
CURIOSITY SHOP

The word ''factotum," denotIng a man Of
ali work dates back several centuries Ben
Jonson in one Of his plays. makes Tip ask:
art thou the Dominus?" TO which the host
replies: "Factotum' here sir Fouls, in
his "HistOry Of the Plots Of Our Pretended
saints" 1914 says: "He was so fare the
dominus factOtum in this junctio that his
words were law"
In other days. apothecares were called by
the name Of Bolus, because they admins
tered bOluses. George COlman adopted this
name for his apothecary who wrote labels
IN verse one OF which was the celebrated
. When taken,
To be well shaken"
But the patient being shaken instead died.
Although NspOlsOR / Is credited Xlth orig
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30
The Opean Season for Idiots

The hunters now will get in line,
Their turn will soon be here;
And every COW will wear a sign.
Don't Shoot Me, I'm No Deer!"
-Cicinnati Enquirer
Indeed our beef will be so high
This warning will be heard
AS cows go sailing thrO' the sky.
Don't Shoot Me, I'm No Bird"
New York Mail.
If Cost Of Living bars the way
And throttles Loves sweet tune,
Why, then, to Cupid men will say
Don't Shoot Me, I'm Immune"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30
Happy College Days

Did you ever do anything wicked at col
lege?' asked the first sweet junioress.
I'VE once pulled up bed of jmson weeds,
dear" replied the freshmanette.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30

TTTHEN a small news item announced
w few days ago the death of the driver OIL
the first police patrol wagon used In this city
I have no doubt that many who read the
report were rather astonished to learn that
this adjunct to the Police Department mad
been introduced 50 long ago as 30 years An
other generation has grown up since that
time, and Il cannot properly appreciate con-
ditions that existed here before this system
wns introduced,
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30
Chance for a Stout Lady

From the Chicago Tribune.
Wanted-Woman, clever, to i vacancy
with large corporation
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30
Modern Poetry


This a gag
is zig poem,
runs then
Which first down.
(Old Milton didn't know 'em; 1t makes the
printers frown.)
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30
In A SPIRIT OF HUMOR
Means to an End

you taking cornet lessons, and so years
of age?"
Yes, but not for long. I expect to bring
the young lady next door to terms within a
week. She takes singing lessons"
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30

(WHICH brings back to memory that his
w toric joke about the American girl who
would not marry a British peer, declaring
that the Yankee dude'll do"
BRADFORD
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30
NATIONAL POINT OF VIEW

No greater opportunity has been Offered
American genius by the exigencies OF me
European war than is TO be found in ths
great chance for the development OF reai
dye manufactVes.-Was Times
Even in baseball it is good to get out OF
rut. New YOrks failure to win the Natonal
League pennant for the fourth time in sue
Cession is from that point of view boost
for the game.-New York Tribune.
Let the suggestion of II. C, Forbes, of New
York, find response everywhere in America hs
says: ITO keep every American worker fulE
employed and every honest American business
man prosperous. demand made In AmeHcA.
goods. This is self defense and true patriotlsh
Detroit Free Press.
The praises of militarism, still sounded. ~ -
certain quarters, are strangely IKE nv Wv
laudations of negro slavery which Seing
heard in tins country on the eve of the C'TT
War which was TO abolish it forever II ~
both cases, that is to say what was AT hN
apOlogiZed for as a temporary eyll is srs hels
up later az the highest good.-NeW io'A
Evening Post
The President has been notified that II Nv
insists on the passage of the GoNerhIhen,TT
owned merchant marine bill Congress W.
not be able to adjourn before the NoNehiUb,
elections This means that the shlp - ,suo on
sdists are improving their strange -nU'a I 20
a Democratic Congress and that II WIN tanS ains
a long fight to shake them on. rms p
the situation, why surrender rather lhan
fight?-New York World.
Times of stress produce strong men. aSs me
the "Pancho' Villa of other days Is now nomIst. hs
strong man of Mexico, If he was an uhiTe iiSsr
tered Indian, nevertheless he is the So,naTs Tors
who destroyed the power of the coilsPlI mas
who had seized the government. II ne, ne y" 10
a bandit nevertheless he has been loS Ma
the political doctrine OF the murdetou yives
dero. II he was a tyro in politics, ne eiead
evidence of statemanship sufhcieht 70 I suf-
him to recognize the value Of the IONS 1tssyyard
fering good will of the United STATES wv"
the Mexican people.-Boston Heralu'
The administration of the Treasury !y,stssrd s
highly educational occupation ana ess ses and
MCAdoo is giving signs OF readlneh ha as
capacity to learn. The banks when ne lar
sisted with Treasury funds nave 5s has IS dis
abused his trust in them that ne hS1 n do
ciplined them privately and threatens AZ " for
so publicly He gave them public tbe tuer Crops
a public purpose-the moving OF tn .n private
and they have diverted them into i re-.
purposes the heaping up OF e4cess'
seEYes.=lNeM York Times.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30

Even in baseball 1t is good to get out OF
rut. New YOrk's failure to win the National
League pennant for the fourth time in sue.
Cession is from that point of view boost
for the game.-New York Tribune.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30
PASSED BY THE CENSOR

TTTHEN King George was still midship
w man in her Majesty's navy and his
brother, the Prince Of Wales, since dead, was
known as collars and Cuffs," because of mis-
fondness for those appurtenances of every
day attire the twain were aboard a ship off
southampton. Wales was sleepy head,
hard to wake, and one morning Prince
George found it well nigh impossible to rouse
his brother in time for the usual inspection.
Finally, driven to desperation, he bawled
out:
Hey, Collars, get up They're singing
God Save Your Grandmother already"
history fails to relate whether Collars
ever told Grandma Victoria.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30
Taking the Gin" Out Of Virginia

From the New Orleans State.
BY actual count 925 paragrapheTs up to
date have observed that the Prohibitionists
have taken the gin out Of Virginia.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30

No greater opportunity has been Offered
American genius by the eXigencies OF inc
great chance for the development of real
dye manufactlVes.-Wa Washington Times.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30

Never talk war with your barber Perhaps
he is one of them
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30

Britain has yet to learn the lesson which
all nations must learn. War is a terrible
thing, and the nation which INDUCES in II
must pay the price that staggeTs" as Presi-
dent Kruger OF the Transyaal put II. And,
above all, no war Is won until the last battle
haA bssR fOugkt.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30

About now look out for an announcement
that the price OF coal will be increased be-
cause Of the scarcity Of labor in the mines
due 70 foreign nationals being drafted into
Imaginary European armies
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30

Writes the Colonel to Suzer: The rea-
son that was reluctant 10 see you instead
Of continuing 10 communicate with you by
writing was because / wished no ground 10
arise for failure on your part TO reColleCt
Just what I had said" Thanks for this
longer and more beautiful yerbiage,
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30

And besides it is a needless revolution, as
We already have Il surplus OF Mexican films.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30

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Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-30

1t is a pity that the domain OF Santa Claus
should be in the heart OF the war territory.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-10-13
SULPHUR DRIES
UP ECZEMA AND
STOPS ITCHING
This old time skin healer is
used just like any
cold cream

With the first application of bold
sulphur cream the angry itching at
tending any eczema eruption ceases
and its remarkable healing powers be-
gin. Sulphur, says a renowned der
matologist, just common bold-sulphur,
made into thick cream. will soothe
and heal the skin when irritated and
broken out with Eczema or any form
of eruption. The moment it is applied
all itching ceases and after two or
three applications the Eczema dis
appears, leaving the skin clear and
smooth.
He tells Eczema sufferers to get
from any good pharmacy an ounce of
bold sulphur cream and apply il to
the irritated. infiamed skin. the same
as you would any cold cream.
For many years this soothing, heal
ing sulphur has occupied n secure po-
sition in the treatment of cutaneous
affections by reason of it's parasite
destroying property. 1t is not only
parasiticidal. but also antipruritic, an
tlseptic and remarkably healing in all
irritable and inflammatory conditions
of the skin. While not always estab-
fishing a permanent cure il never fails
to instantly subdue the irritation and
heal the Eczema right up and il is
often years later before any eruption
again appears on the skin.
This is published for Walter Luther
Dodge Co., Cincinnati, Ohio.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-10-13
RED CROSS NURSES
What the Women Are Doing

The women of the Red Cross are
nursing, cheering and comforting the
wounded or dying. The women of Eu-
rope not only wrap bandages and
scrape lint, but they tend the farms,
dig coal, carry burdens and do the
work of the men now under arms.
Every male fighter, however brawny
and heroic, was born of woman; the
high courage and hardihood that are
a nations strength are inherited from
the mother.
Young mothers who preserve the
charms of face and figure in spite of
an increasing family and the care of
growing children are always to be en-
WED. DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescrip-
tion gives the strength and health
upon which happy motherhood de-
pends. 1t practically does away with
the pains of maternity. 1t enables the
mother to nourlsh the infant life de-
pending on her, and enjoy the hourly
happiness of watching the develop
ment of a perfectly healthy child.
Thousands of women who are now
blessed with robust health cannot un-
derstand why thousands of other
women continue to worry and suffer
from ailments peculiar to women when
they can obtain for a trifling sum DR..
Pierce's Favorite Prescription, which
will surely and quickly Danish all pain,
distress and misery and restore the
womanly functions to perfect health.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-10-13
CHILD GETS SICK
CROSS, FEVER|SH
IF CONST|PATED
California Syrup of Figs" can't
harm tender stomach
or bowels

A laxative to-day saves a sick child
tomorrow. Children simply will not
take the time from play to empty their
bowels, which become clogged up with
waste, liver gets sluggish; stomach
sour.
Look at the tongue, mother! If
coated, or your child is listless, cross,
feverish, breath bad, restless, doesn't
eat heartily, full of cold or has sore
throat or any other children's ailment,
give a teaspoonful of California
Syrup of Figs" then don't worry, be-
cause 1t is perfectly harmless, and in
a few hours all this constipation poi
son, sour bile and fermenting waste
will gently move out of the bowels,
and you have a well, playful child
again. A thorough "inside cleansing"
is ofttimes all that is necessary. 1t
should be the first treatment given
in any sickness.
Beware of counterfeit fig syrups.
Ask your druggist for a 50-cent bot
tie of California Syrup of Figs"
which has full directions for babies,
children of all ages and for grown-ups
plainly printed on the bottle. Look
carefully and see that 1t is made by
the California Fig Syrup Company"
Advertisement.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-10-13
zoo MEN RESPOND To
TABERNACLE CALL
Now Looks as Though Building
Will Be Erected in
One Day

From present indications the
slough tabernacle will be completed
in one day as the building committee
has planned. More than seven hun
dred men already have responded to
the "ad" asking for workmen to help
erect the tabernacle for the meetings
at State and Cowden streets on Satur-
day and fully one thousand names are
expected by Thursday night. Among
the list of workmen are pastors and
laymen from all parts of the city.
A portable saw-mill has been set up
on the tabernacle site and all the
heavier material is ready for use. The
lighter timber and materials will be
delivered before the end of the week
Final plans were made last night by
committee of one hundred women
who are to prepare the meal for the
workmen who erect the tabernacle
for Slough campaign meetings at
state and Cowden streets, Saturday,
October II. The meal will be served
In the social hall of the Ridge Avenue
Methodist Church. Pledges for sup
plies are to be sent to Mrs. e. A.
Riegle, 1926 Park street, Bell phone
2O15W. All goods pledged are to be
sent to the first street door of the
Ridge Avenue Methodist Church on
Friday.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-10-13
ONE-TERM IDEA IS
HALTED BY WILSON
Tells Palmer That Office Is Peo-
ple's Gift and Should Not
Be Restricted
Special 10 The Telegraph

Washington. d. c., Oct. 13. - The
views of President Wilson with regard
to the plank in the Baltimore platform
limiting the President to one term be-
came known definitely to-day. They
were outlined to the Democratic men,
bers of the House committee on the
judiciary before the present occupant
of the White House was inaugurated
in March, 1918. The views of the
President-elect, definite, clear and
backed by citizens from publicists and
political economists, were embodied
in a letter addressed by him to Repre-
sentative A. Mitchell Palmer, of Penn
sylvania, during the winter of 1928.
The purpose of this enunciation of
the President elects views was to halt
consideration of a resolution then
pending before the judiciary commit
tee amending to the Constitution to
limit an occupant of the White House
to a single term. The plank of the
Baltimore platform which was the
basis for the resolution read:
we favor a single presidential term
and to that end urge the adoption of
an amendment to the Constitution
making the President of the United
States ineligible for reelection, and
we pledge the candidate of this con-
vention to this principle"
Secretary OF State William j. Bryan
was responsible for the adoption of
this particular plank. Since the in
auguration of President Wilson there
has been evidence that the plank was
to be ignored. Palmer and other ad-
mlnistration supporters have been
leaving nothing undone to insure q
second nomination for Mr.. Wilson.
The letter to Palmer was ten pages
long. In II the then President-elect
expressed the view that the office of
President of the United States was by
the Constitution placed in the gift of
the American people, and that the
right of gift of this office should not
be restrained, and that the people
should be entitled to choose him for
a second term If they so desired. or
for other terms. The letter backed up
the Presidents in great elaboration
and in much detail. It was n master
piece of argumentative English, and
was so considered by those Democrats
of the judiciary committee to whom ii
was shown In secret conference by Mr..
Palmer.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-10-13
PAIR QUITE SURE
THEY DON'T WANT
To LIVE TOGETHER
Dearest-Darling - Kid" Letter
Tells of Bathroom Blind
Signal Code

Both Mr.. and Mrs. Albert Bruaw
are very positive they don't want to
be married any longer and they are
not going to take any chances on not
having the knot properly and thor
oughly united. So both have begun
divorce actions; they're really eager
about it,
Both cases, cross suits, are among
the october term divorce court hear
lngs scheduled for Monday, October
70. Albert vs. Frances Bruaw is listed
on grounds of marital infidelity and
Robert Sucker, counsel for the libel
lant, says William Kramer will be
named as correspondent. Mrs. Fran
ces Bruaw has instituted her suit
against her husband on the grounds
of cruel and barbarous treatment. ac-
cording to her counsel, Wickersham
and Metzger
Some intimation of what may be
produced in divorce court was aired
yesterday afternoon in September
quarter sessions desertion court when
Mrs. Bruaw sued her husband for non
support and got verdict of 81 weekly.
In his defense BFuaw, through his at
/ torney, exhibited some real dearest
honey boy darling kid" love letters
purporting to have been exchanged be-
tween Mrs. Bruaw and Kramer.
Bathroom Blind Signals
In one letter Mrs. Bruaw discusses
freely the family rows in the house
of Bruaw and mentions the signals
that had been arranged via the bath
room window blinds between herself
and Kramer.
Forty-six cases in all are listed for
October divorce court as follows:
Mary E. VS.. Samuel f. Hoffman;
Anna VS.. Joseph Kovsach: Della VS..
George Deekard Ruth VS.. Thomas IL.
Osborne; Della VS.. A. II. S. Berlin;
John e. VS.. Emma *. Kerstetter; A..
G. VS.. Nania Forster; Christine VS.
Raymond Straw; Ida VS. J. NJ. Beard;
Fred VS.. Amelia Carley; Mary VS.. O.
II. Kent; Hiram VS.. Pearl Nj. Dry;
Heinrich VS.. Katerina Greiffenstein;
May VS.. Roy A. Wilson; William VS..
Mary e. Arnold; Robert VS.. Jane B.
Hunter; Robert VS.. Mary l.. Gillette;
Anna VS.. N. +. Spangler; Minnie T.. VS..
Andrew j. Dodd; George VS.. Lizzie
M. Gehrett; Katherine VS.. Robert r..
Wcbber; Sarah VS. Howard Miller;
Harry VS.. Rachel Bierbauer; Arthur
VS.. Mabel Bathurst; Mary VS.. James
A. Drewett; Gertrude VS.. Benjamin
Titzel; Albert VS.. Frances Bruaw;
Jesse VS.. Jennie Zimmerman; Frances
VS., Albert Bruaw; Amanda VS.. Alex
ander Rich; Mary VS. William r.
Kline; Edith VS.. r. II. Thompson; Ida
lene VS.. Andrew Stark; Kathryn vs.
NJ. Meredith Meyers; Ray VS.. Helen
f. Swope; Ruth VS.. Russell 7. Leedy;
Maggie VS.. Elmer G.. Weber; Edna vs.
Harry Wilson; Emma VS.. w. Gywnn
Hoffman; Isaac VS.. Anna May Pierce;
Sara VS.. Anton Preskar; Nesta VS..
John d. Leathery; Essie VS.. John w.
Brown.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-10-13
Veterans of Civil War to
Attend Lebanon Reunion

A large delegation from Post 5s.
Grand Army of the Republic, will go
to Lebanon Thursday to attend the
annual reunion fthe Central Penn
sylvania G.. A. r. Association. The
Sons of Veterans. Ladies' G. A. R. Cir
Gle and others will join with Post SIS
in the outing. Those who have not al
ready secured tickets will find a rep
of Post So with tickets at
the cars in Market Square at 7.30
Thursday morning. Two special cars
will leave the Square promptly at s
o'clock and will go direct to Lebanon
without change of cars.
G.. NJ. Saltzgaber. Commissioner of
Pensions. and Colonel John McElroy,
editor of the National Tribune, Wash
ington. d. c.. will be present at the
reunion and address the campfire in
the evening
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-10-13
Wharton School Glasses
Open at Technical High

With an enrolment of 1877 students
the Wharton School Extension of the
University of Pennsylvania began it's
first class work in the study hall of
the Technical High School last even
ing.
The first class period, beginning at
7.45 o'clock, was devoted to a lecture
on commercial law by Professor WV.
Pearson, of the University faculty.
Members of the Harrisburg Rotary
Club, headed by C. Harry Kain, the
chairman, who has given much time
and energy to the movement, attend
ed the opening of the school and
helped place students in their respec-
tive classes.
Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-10-13
Rebellion Broke Out
as Bolt From Clear Sky
By Associated Press

London, Oct. 13, 1.50 p. m.-The
rebellion of a section of the Dutch
element in South Africa, which broke
to-day with a suddenness of a bolt
from the blue, is the first iarring note
that has marred the harmony in the
British empire since the outbreak of
the war and 1t has momentarily di-
verted attention from the arenas near
the heart of the empire.
That this rising was real and dan
gerous was sufficiently proved by off,
cial dispatches from Governor Cen
eral Buxton to the Imperial govern
ment and by the drastic step General
Louis Botha and his colleagues have
taken to stamp it out by the declara-
ton of martial law in the whole union
of South Africa.