Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1914-01-09
ART BUG AT PHONE BEFORE '0LD NAN
Excuse Bluejackets Give for
Breaking Rules.
Some Of Them Are Novei-A Sailor
Drunk on Shore Duty, Blamed lo-
cal Malaria Epidemic 40 the
Cause OF His Offense.

Now lay aft to the mast ALL the ~
ports" ''@
When this word is passed aboard
one OF Uncle Sans battleships 1t is
time for the sailorman ION report" to
think Of his excuse, II he has one. for
the mast Is the daily court held
aboard ship by the captain, and 1t Is
there that punishments are handed out
to the offenders against the ships
rules for the previous "a hours.
1t Is there that the offender Is ex-
cused, passed along for a court-mar-
tial or given a minor punishment. ac-
cording to the nature of his offense,
the shippers humor and his readiness
with the gift Of CAB" Many and
varied are the pleas put up by the de-
fense Some OF them would entltle
the author to life membership In the
Ananias club, and if the captain Is a
good one from the bluejackets point
Of view he will give you the benefit of
| the doubt when otherwise anything
from few hours extra duty on the
quarter deck with rifle to short
stay in the brig on bread and water
will be your portion. ~-'
At eleven o'clock every weekday
morning the reports" are all assem-
bled at the mast. The executive officer
reports the fact to the captain. The
bugler sounds attention as the old
man" appears on deck, mental re-
hashing of stories and a stiffening OF
| backs goes down the line. The order
reports, salute" Is given and the cap
! tain is ready to hear the first case.
Brown, H. r., two hours over leave
from liberty" reads the yeoman
standing by with the records and re-
port book. Brown steps forward,
salutes, gives his spiel and is excused
or punished, according to the fates
and the shippers humor.
We'll, sir, you see" he explains. 1T
was just like this. was called late
this morning. Just had time to make
run for the dock and catch the last
boat for the, ship. was coming along
straight for the ship when passed the
Salvation Army. The band struck up
The Star Spangled Banner and. OF
course, had to stop and stand at at
tention until they had finished. BY that
time had missed the boat
The captain calls for Browns enlist
ment record looks it over and sees
that Brown is habitual liberty break
er. Young man." he says, II don't be-
| lieve you, four hours extra duty with
a rife on the quarter deck" and Brown
retreats forward to explain his case to
his shipmates.
The story is told of captain, old IN
the service of the navy and wise In the
ways Of liberty breakers. who claimed
to have heard every excuse that could
be offered at the mast for overstaying
shore leave. Should man give him a
new excuse he declared he would be
excused, but for an excuse he had
heard before the punishment was to be
doubled.
Before long a man appeared at the
mast three days over leave. Sir, ne
said, II heard about your offer for a
new excuse. Accidentally broke my
liberty for an hour and I have been
over in town ever since trying to think
up new one."
60 forward" said the skipper.
The yeoman consults the reports
book. -.
Smith, G. E., drunk on duty ashore =
he reads, and Smith, newly rated pet
ty officer, steps forward, cycling the
"crow" on his right sleeve in manner
that would lead one to suspect that he
was fearful it would soon take flight
and soar away. -
Well, young man, what have you to
say?"
you see, sir, 1t was this way. / was
sent ashore on patrol. You know, sir,
how the doctor has warned US about
the epidemic Of malaria now prevalent
and the danger of drinking the water
ashore. AS preventive took an
overdose of whisky and"
'Twenty-four hours solitary conf1ne-
ment on bread and water Master at
arms, take him away"