Evening star., 1914-03-15

automobile, and land the Universal Container Com
panys stockholders at No Easy-st. For instead of
payin two prices for imitation blend doctored up
with formaldehyde you got the real, creamy stuff
straight from the farm at five quart and passed in at
the front door with your mornin' mail Didn't the
parcel post bring your drygoodso Why not your milke
And when it got to be the P. o. Department
would put carts for NJ. delivery There you are!
So I'd subscribed for thousand shares, payn' fifty
per cent down for development expenses, the rest
call. Yes, know. But you should have heard Blair
Woodbury. pull the prospectus stuff and describe how
the dividends would come rollin in!
That six eight months ago, and we'd stood for
two assessments. Then it turned out there
thing wrong with the pulp compressor dingus that
have shot containers at the rate of two hundred
minute Some of went to Jersey to see it work;
but all it produced while there was groann'
sound and smell of sour dough. could have bought
out the holdins of the entire bunch for my return
ticket. But the ticket looked above par to me.
After that board meetins wan such gay affairs
grouchy lot of tnhorn investors was, believe me;
for the parties young Mr.. Woodbury. had decoyed into
this fool scheme want Standard Oil plutes any of
the Morgan crowd: mostly salaried men, with couple
of dentists retail grocer, and real estate agent!
None of us stuck droppin thousand or so into
a smelly machine that wouldn't behave. Maybe it
would next time; but we had doubts. What
wanted most to get from under, and this meetn'
today called to chew proposition for dumpn
the stock on the Curb on chance that there might
be enough suckers 60 around 1t wouldn't be cheer
full seance either and bystanders might not be exactly
welcome. Misery may like comp'ny but it don't yearn
for gallery.
60 has to hint to Alvin that had little business
~ meetin' comm on maybe he wouldn't find it
tertainin.
Nothing bores me, says he. Humanity, in all its
phases, all its efforts, is interesting.
"Huh!" says L. Humanity bee6n' over dollar its
dropped through crack wouldn't furnish any Easter
card scheme. Talk about grouchy people! You ought
this bunch with their egos clutchn their check
books
@Ah!' says Alvin. "A financial deal, is it?'
at was' says l. @These the obseques we're
about to hold"
And he's so prompt with the sympathy dope that l
has to sketch the disaster for him. ncudin' de-
scription of the container scheme.
@Why,' says he, shat quite practical Rather
brilliant idea and far too good to be abandoned with
thorough trial 1t appeals strongly to me, Friend
McCabe. Besides, I've had some experience in such
affairs. Perhaps could help. Let me try
an put it up to the board says l. @If they say
Ah here comes Doc Fosdick and Meyers the grocer
now
They don't appear in arm. In fact, at the last
session they'd had hot run-in; so now they takes
chairs opposite sides of the and gares at each
other hostile. thin, little dyspeptic Doc
Fosdick is while Meyers is bull necked and red faced
They'd mix about well cruet of vinegar and a
pail of lard Course has to introduce Alvin, and he
insists on shakn hands cordial.
@You professional chaps" says he to the Doc, 3are