Polk County observer. (Monmouth, Polk County, Or.) 1888-1927, 1914-05-22

| conveniently be accommodated along
with other farm animals and given the
best of care.
Horse Comfort.
Keep a good. deep. dry bed under the
horse while he is in the stable day or
night on Sundays especially. The
more he lies down the longer his legs
and feet will last.
They have their spats; they are aloof.
He's angry with his gentle one.
They've found that the parental roof
Beats any old pay rental one
Cincinnati Enquirer.
He (sarcastically)-I like ''the soft
pillow of womans mind"
She (coldly)-Yes, suppose it helps
you to bolster your own mind up
Baltimore American.
Were the old poets here today
We'd see some funny scenes,
With Burns and Pope extolling soap
And Shelley boosting beans.
Pittsburgh Post.
Mr. Justwed-T'll be back in mo-
ment. duckie. What is it, janitor?
The Janitor-I just called to tell you
that you'll have to get rid of that duck
even if it is a pet. You amt allowed
to keep poultry in these apartments
New York Globe.
OF the iron age we often hear
And the tabled age Of gold.
But now the income tax brings near
An age of wealth untold.
New York Sun.
Gabe-The doctor has ordered Smith
.ers to take more exercise.
Steve-What's he going to do?
Gabe-He has decided to roll his own
cigarettes Enquirer.
She seemed from mankind to be standing
apart
As her song sent a cheer through the
gallery,
And yet what we called her devotion to
art
Was largely determined by salary.
Washington Star.
Belle-He can be a gentleman when
he wants to be.
Nell-Yes. he seems to forget himself
sometimes. Philadelphia Record.
Now sorrow fills the poor mans cup,
And heavy is his crown,
For now when food is going up>
Therell be less going down.
-Lippincotts.
Mrs. Youngman-And so my baby got
the prize at the baby show? l knew he
would. 1t couldn't have been other
wise
Old Bachelor Zone Of the judges
Yes. madam. we all agreed that your
baby was the least Objectionable Of the
lot.-New York Weekly.
Great gloom his married life engirds.
He can't avoid her tongue.
He thought she knew but honeyed words,
And now he finds he's stung
Atlanta Constitution.
She-My physician says I should
have a bite before retiring.
He-Be careful; that's what killed
eopatra.-Exchange.
The women vote in Iceland,
And Londoners, while meek.
Suggest it as nice land
For militants to seek.
kansas City Journal.
with a pocketknife and a pistol"
he said. II feel sure that could 60
into the woods and support myself"
"Why don't you try it?" his wife
asked. "That would leave me with
only the children to provide for."-Chi-
cago Record-Herald.
Mary had a little sheep,
A peaceful, gentle lamb.
1t frolicked on the hillsides
And grew up a mountain ram.
Spokane Spokesman-Review
"was her father violent when you
asked for her handT"
was he? Great Scot, thought he
would shake my arm offr-Fun.
Running and sparring, so they say,
Are exercises prime
Unless it's running into debt
And sparring then for time.
Boston Transcript
$50 you refuse to patronize that Chi
nese laundrymanT"
"Yes. The things he wrote on the
piece Of paper he handed me may be
complimentary, but they didn't look
t"-Washington Star.
As an after dinner speaker Smiths the
best you'll ever see,
For at the meals conclusion he sayA
"Bring the check to me-"
Fun.