The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1914-12-10
A GUIDE TO THIS FRAcAs.
TELL IT TO THE JUDGE.
BY Our Military Expert.

BY Our Military Expert.
I've heard lot Of high brow reasons
% explain this war. but I'm telling IL
plain when say that put II down to
carrying loaded weapcas.
Maybe embarrassment has slipped
something over, too. A great ruler
must be embarrassed just as an or
binary guy would be when he's asked
and never using 1t. Everybody says he
- fourflushing, and by and by he be-
gins to think so himself. People go to
q king and they ask why so much
money Is spent on armies and navies
and then a long drawn out peace
brings blush to the royns eace. The
King says he's carrying his weapons for
moral effect. BY and by that wears off
and he gets the laugh. Carrying loaded
weapons Ia what makes q gunman. I've
seen them made that way. And, OF
course. gunman, who doesn't shoot In
no more a gunman than somebody
hanging out the wash.
As say, and going on to explain this
war. II is very embarrassing to king
20 be always gun toting, without any
thing more happening than being tired
~ the load. A gunman pulls his gun
and practices before the mirror; the
monarch holds a peace mobilization
their own looks and are ready to be
tngulted.
Then the gunman waits for some-
body TO insult him, and whips out his
gun When the smoke clears away
somebody asks: what did you shoot
forf" The gunnaan says: THAT guy
gave me an evil look. / thought he had
y knife and was going to pull It."
Now take the king. He starts his
army over the border. What dye do
that for?" we ask
II thought somebody threw a brick"
he says. Look in my White Paper
and you'll see II all explained" rr .s
We turn to the other fellow and we
says: What did you throw dornick
for7" i. .'0
1T wasn't a brick. It was a diplo-
matte rose" says this other guy. Il
threw 1t very gently at that low-b brow
menace to civilization. Look at him
now where 1t lit on him! The first
thing you know, he'll be conquering
the whole world. rye been una lie to
sheep nights because of It. Put can
lick him with one hand tied. When I'm
through with him, 1t will cost him 10
cents to send a postal to Allspice and
Lorraine" he says.
That's the Frenchman. Then the
Engiisher pipes up: That's rightl
Good for you. Go to It, old top! I've
been thinking for 10 years I'd have to
clean up with this German welter-
weight alone. I'll stay with you till
your broke, old gangster. II Paris falls,
you'll get nice letter from me-" he
says "Pll never get chance like this
In 100 years to make the balance OF
power look like last years birds nest
For long time / was on pins and
needles for fear this German yegg
wouldn't outrage laws and civilized
customs by starting through Belgium
before you got a chance to do It. But
now that worry is over, and remem-
Der. Japan, that upholder OF English
traditions, and Russia, the land of the
free. where justice and mercy are al
ways lingering, are with us now!"
The Italian stands with his hand on
his automatic waiting to see which
side will treat when the fuss is over
The Turk is glad to see, for the first
time, that the neighbors are too busy
to tell him where he gets off.
And, with all the gun play, the rag
chewing back and forth sounds like q
bargain day In ut-price millinery
shop.