davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09
Globe Sights
By THE ATCHJsoN GLoHR

There ought to be just one law book
So many combinations can't be under
stood.
Laws seem to be made to conf1ict with
each other. '
Don't let your kin know It. If vou are
getting good salary. o
Watching the motion pictures IL a fat
man favorite exercise
A farmer can't be graceful while trv.
ing to be firm with his horses
Most rubes live in big cities. Read tho
metropolitan papers, if you don't think So
Father has been a White Slave so long
ne doesn't expect relief from the federal
law. e Aeoei al
One of the foremost pleasures in spr;np
time Is whitewashing the chicken house
It's too bad, but just about the time a
man gets enough money. to- retire, he is
in the way. 80 -
Sometimes the under dog is a brind,e
Dull with q strange hold on the opposi-
TONS throat.
Putting pink mosquito bar over The
peaches Is old stun, but these who give
street parade should wear more
Most Of the honest confessions appear
In the form of states evidence ana cause
mankind to admire a cheerful liar.
Being married. the average man hears
preaching enough at home and hia In
clination to attend church is weak and
futile.
Darning socks should be - keen an in
door amusement as tatting. But we never
were any hand at convincing the women
folks.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
TFrom he Chicago New..

IL rom ne Cmc3&0 NeW9.1
Love Is . disease, but not chronic.
Many friendship has. been cut short
by long tongue.
As man thinketh. 30 he may be: but
as he sayeth. he seldom il.
Don't attempt to take ADVANTAGE 81 =
mule; he is apt to get back at YOU
Bad luck Is one OF the things that
comes to those who sit down and wait
A taste of extreme joy h all right. but
~ regular diet 1t loses its flavor
Any man can be fairly happy IL he i.
satisfted to let other people do his worry
ing for him.
The man who tells the truth. the whole
truth and nothing but the truth u called
q knocker.
Some men are troubled with Temporary
deafness; 1t all depends ON who - talk
ing and what II wanted.
II q man lodges when his wife throws
the coffee pot, it's q sure sign that he ~
been married only . short time.
No woman who believes In the eternal
fitness of things WIN marry man who
II 30 tall that she can't reach his hair.
A girl may work hard to obtain hus-
band, but that doesn't necessaxily indicate
that she will take In washing aud scrub
bling In order to support him
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09
A MODERN PROBLEM.

Crop production is no longer the
only agricultural problem Of the
United States. In a country as large
in territory and possessing rs DIVERSE
fled interests. a crop produced ia not
necessarily a crop profitabfy sold. A
good market is quite sas necessary as
a good yield. as the Kansas Indus
trialfst argues.
The National Conference On Mar
keting and Farm Credits. which met
last month in Chicago. has recognized
the market problem and is attempting
to solve 1t. The resolutions passed by
the conference urge educational ia-
stitutions to direct attention to the
problem OF marketing and the federal
government to employ specialists to
make special study OF this important
matter.
The conference is to be permanent
thing. 1t win meet annually, while In
the meantime a board composed OF
fifteen members will look after its in
terests
In order to do effective work, how
ever. the conference must have the
active support of farmers throughout
the country. Every part Of the Unit.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09

I married. and paid FOR throwing away
the garden. but never sent this back.
could mot. Would yous like It now
0eorgiass eyes filled with teara She
uncle's life there At Rosemeade. He
had never married. but with all hiz
success and accumulation Of wealth
he had chung to the old country house
with ita wonderful rose garden. Per-
hapo he had hoped TINT some day she
would come back to It,
The house has been left to you.
understand. and Barbara viii have the
new one In town. Iod seemed W0r-
ried and uncertain today when asked
him about the date Of the wedding
petuously. s'I'li marry him before the
summer 10 over. and don't think
Uncle iris would mind . bit. And I
wouldn't take back the medallion for
all the world. It must have made him
happy It least to know you wanted to
Tod and Barbara came leisurely to-
ward them down the terrace steps,
and Mrs. Kenton took p09oe0Bion Of
Bah. Tod stood awkWArdly. looking
down at the figure on the old Roman
seat. She looked like . rose herself
in her pink linen dress. he thought,
her dark hair full or reddish CLEANS
In the sunshine. There seemed TO bo
something different about her. some
thing that limited at surrender. For
over q year he had been alternately
accepted and rejected, according to
her moods. but now she met his eyes
with q new look OF womanliness and
faith.
Have done anything?'' he asked.
You seem changed. sweetheart"
Tod" she said earnestly, don't
you adore this garden? I'm going to
marry you In 1t this summer, truly
am. And Aunt Lillian will be matron
Of honor and fairy godmother."-
Copyright 1914 by the Mcclure
Newspaper syndicate.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09

cd States was represented at the Chi
cago meeting. Kansas had but one
representative. Professor Baker Of the
Agricultural college. The neighboring
states Of Nebraska. Colorado. Okla
homa and Missouri each had larger
representation. as did also several
states much farther distant from Chi
|cago.
Kansas should have q large and
definite part in the movement repre-
scented by this conference. Why cam
not some of the progressive farmers
OF the state go as delegates to next
years conference? In the meantime.
there is opportunity for cooperation
in the efforts decided upon at the Chi
cago meeting. 81
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09
HERE CONES rHE CoUoNEI..

HERE CONES THE COLONEL.
Get out your trumpets and blow rounde-
Here comes the Colonel from far. Tar
away!
Unfurl the banners
Unto the bright sum:
Now for the strenuous
Things to be dones
9ood-by. Huerta, and villa, and ALL
Here comes the Colonel. the Big Stick
WIN FAM 49,
summon the side arms
And strap on the sword
Here comes the Colonel
BY grace Of the Lord!
san Juan reechoes his brave deed Of old
dere comes the Colonel what tales will
be told!
Shine MP the b11aD work
And polish the knob
Hero comes the Colonol
To get on tho jobl s.
len thousand bird oktns and ten million
Here comes the Colonel 70 ssttle anair1!
Brush up the khaki
And give him q chance
Hero comes the Colonel,
And now watch u dancei
-Baltimore Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09
Journal Entries

Golf is also e developer of strong
language.
OF the countless remedies for colds
none seem to work well.
-
Life's problems arc difficult Of s',-
luton because no two of them are
alike.
Nobody pays any attention to. the
grammar a man uses If he says some
thing worth while.
As soon as you think you're sure
you understand person. then you nre
certain soon to find out you don't.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09

ine dome0p4fh, as We underst1nd
1t, proceeds upon the theory that man
wants but little here below. but wants
that little strong.
The British system Of collecting
$4,000 from Hayti. il about the only
system that il any good in q country
where the general complexion OF
things IL dark. The British used stop
witch and q breechloading gunboat.
Ordinary rubbers do not answer the
purpose when one il reading the &C
counts OF high society wedding. On
less one is equipped with hip boots.
look forward to q jolt of rheumatism.
The city administration didn't fall for
the scheme to plant grass ON Kansas
avenue, but unless there IL change.
grass will grow there naturally.
Dodd CASTOR Is seeking q place to
catch the wary and ferocious bullhead.
He has several places in. mind, but
the best place to catch q bullhead is
in the thorax. Just abaft the wisdom
teeth.
There are other Inducements con-
nected with the presidency, but the
place should be particularly attractive
to a man with a large crop of daugh-
SCAS. Out 1IO1H INC 4nuAC6eCA ~ ASS "a
the wedding presents given by those
distinguished bodies, one might gath
er the thought that running for MEM
bership in the house and senate would
not be such a popular pastime. while
a president having the above described
large crop was in the chair.
Among the patriots connected with
the Mexican disturbance IL General
La o. Whether his name is a Roman
tell, particularly when one beats 1t
out on q typewriter. where both are
to be found on the same key.
It is stated that Becker was collect
ed when he entered court to stand a
general impression that Mr.. Becker
was collected about two years ago.
along with other collectors, and that
they made a lovely collection.
Oh. maybe they meant that Mr..
Becker was not scattered around,
carelesslike.
Surgeons have discovered a way to
cure tuberculosis. They simply cut
atmospheric pressure will cave in the
patient and stop the lung from lung
ing. Another good way would be to
remove the lung and boil it briskiy
for three hours: that would kill the
germs.
Patriots on this side Of the boun-
Diary are said to be making counter
felt" Rebel Mexican money. Which
might be likened unto painting the lily
or putting something on a red pepper
to make it hot. Counterfeiting Mexi-
can constitutional paper money, is
to say the least, zero in counterfeit
ing.
The Chicago Interoash has finally
dried up. 1t has been low tide on the
lnteroash for q long time.
1t is a hard matter to distinguish,
at first glance, the difference between
q peacemaker and a butter-in.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09
Hu.nor of. the Day

Dentist-''Have you been anywhere
list in our village" Dentist-.And what
idiotic advice did he give your Patient
He told me TO come and see you, sir."-
London Opinion.
Lnctllo (eArnestlyl-'sKarl want to
ask you ono question" Karl (also ear
nastlyl-'What - Il, sweetheart!' Lucille
(more in earnest than ever)-.Karl, II
you had never met me, would you have
loved me Just the eamer'-Life
she-"No. Jack. fear We could never
b happy: you know. always want my
own way in everything" He-"But, lar
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09
FEDERAL INCORPORATION.

II is becoming more apparent every
day, writes Mr.. Paul II. -Ditzen in the
May Case and Comment. that the fed
era1 government should have control
over these great combinations which
are engaged in Interstate and foreign
commerce. They are not confined to
a section Of the country; they are sup
plying goods for the whole United
States and for foreign nations. The
states are powerless, for they have no
control over interstate commerce.
Therefore, since the business of the
nation is chiefly interstate commerce.
and the states are not able to control
it properly, it is necessary that the ma
tional government assume control of
the big business interests of the repub-
lsc One of the methods approved by
many statesmen Is FEDERAL tncOrpora-
ton.
Under existing laws Incorporation is
done by the states. When a company
is Incorporated in one state and de-
sires to do business in all the states. 1t
must first seek the permission of each
state. In fact it must be reincorpor-
ated in every state in which it desires
to do business. 1t must conform to
the various state laws of incorporation.
Another disadvantage of the present
system is that, according to the fed
eral constitution. no state can impair
the obligation of contracts. Vested
rights might be obtained in one state
and thus give that corporation power
which cannot be taken away from it.
The Incorporation of corporations en-
gagged in interstate and foreign COM
merce by the federal government would
remove hese obstacles. 1t would give
to the national government the neces-
sary power to control these combina-
lions.
A corporation created thus will bet
ter know its status. 1t will know its
limitations. Its power will be defined
IN its charter. 1t will not have to con-
form to all the laws Of the states in
order to know that it has the privilege
to do business in certain one or in
all tho states
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09
NO TYPHOID IN ARMY.

During 1913 typhoid fever has pfac-
tically been eliminated from the United
States army. What this means can
be appreciated only by those who know
the varied conditions under which these
men live. About ninety thousand sol
Giers are scattered over the Philippine
Islands, Oahu in the Hawaiian group.
Northern China, Panama, Alaska and
the United States proper. About twelve
thousand have been. living under can
vas in camps IN Texas since February
1913. Five thousand are native FIJI
pinos living in the Islands.
In a recent issue Of The journal OF
the American Medical Association.
Major Russell Of the army medical
corps gives an account OF the disap-
pearance Of typhoid in the army. Only
one case of typhoid fever in an tpocu-
lated soldier occurred during 1913. out
Of SO, 900 men. The case occurred in the
battalion at Tientsin. China Two
cases in this country occurred In re-
cruits of four and five days service.
respectively, who had not been inocu-
lated at the time they were taken sick.
The United States census for 1900
gives the average typhoid death rate
as 1875 per hundred thousand tnhab-
itants. Rosenau states that In this
country there are comparatively Few
communities Of 1000 Inhabitants or
more, which, during any period OF
twelve consecutive months within the
last decade. have been entirely free
from typhoid fever. In 1908. the death
toll from typhoid fever was no less
than IS 900 in the United States. In
other words. one person in 200 con-
tracted typhoid fever that year" This
would mean at the 1908 rate. $50 cases
in the army at its present strength.
The disappearance of the disease il
due to incubation Of all recruits as
they enter the service. The general
sanitary condition of the posts for the
past few years is maintained at the
same level, but it must be recalled that
soldiers on entering the army by no
means lose touch with civil life. They
participate in all features of civilian
life, just as any other travellers or Wis
itors, and so are exposed to the same
chances Of infection that civilians in
cur The fact that a population Of
ninety thousand at a most susceptible
age has practically no typhoid can be
accounted for only by the immunity
conferred by the prophylactic inocula-
ton. The extension Of this measure to
certain phases Of civil life is definitely
indicated for adolescents who have not
had the fever, in the presence of an
epidemic. or for those leaving their
homes for travel or for life in the
country. Is there no value in this pro-
cedure to railroads and other industrial
concerns that employ armies of skilled
labor as well as to the Individual on
farms and railroads whose family is
dependent on his manual labor for live
lihood? The way has been shown for
reducing greatly the three hundred
thousand cases per annum in this
country by a procedure causing less in
convenience than vaccination.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09
On the Spur
of the Moment
BY ROY K. MoULTON.

The Instalment Plan.
A stranger came to see me,
He was pleasant man,
And so I bought a photograph
On the instalment plan.
OF course 1 didn't need it,
But when his terms I'd got,
1t really seemed much cheaper
To buy the thing than not.
met another stranger,
A man with charming voice,
He sold encyclopedias
And he was very choice.
He said he sold them only
To parties prominent,
And SO, of course, we took one.
We liked the compliment.
Another stranger reached us,
He had lawnmowers to sell
On easy-pay instalments,
And so of course we fell.
One more had pianc.as,
And they were very cheap,
Ten cents a month or thereabouts
And we took one. to keep.
Twas that way, too. with wringers,
Gas ranges. fancy clocks.
And with vacuum cleaners,
And shirts and pants and socks.
And so the thing continued,
In our instalment greed,
We bought wheel chairs and crutches
And junk we did not need.
We're not gay and light-hearted..
And not inclined to sbrag,
As we did ere we started
On our instalment jag.
We have no peace and quiet
That we enjoyed OF yore.
There are nineteen collectors
Each day before our door.
Signs Of the Times.
It is exceedingly interesting to sit
down 10 read the foreign section Of q
great metropolitan Sunday newspaper
and find out that the most important
item records the fact that Count Boni
de Castellane has taken to wearing
lavender spats .
Count Zeppelin expects to arrive in
America next year in one Of his air
ships. II the count comes down in
his usual manner it is to be hoped he
doesn't land in any cOngested district
but in an open field.
Seeing the need of enlarging his
spheres Captain Hobson now declares
there VIII be q worldwide war In
stead Of just little war between the
japanese and Americans.
A vaudeville woman has arrived
from Europe with purple hair. II
isn't hard for even sober peFson e
see things ius New York these days.
A. PSA&>8 s4&4VQCalGs 0Iy8l
should take q troupe Of sword swal-
lowers with him on his next Chautau-
qua circus tour.
Boys In Kansas City high schools
are being taught domestic science
With the feminist movement growing
there is no telling when q boy vii
need domestic science. and need +
badly.
1t in claimed that by only the strict.
est economy can . congressman live
on his salary OF $1,000 . year. Bur
seeds the congressman might ea1
them
/ Vice President Marshall has com.
promised with his friends by psomis.
ing not to wear his new fancy ves'
during sessions Of the senate.
One San Ffancisco man 10 paying
$40 . Lesson to learn the tango. Prob
ably he win NO sooner learn e than 4
will so out Of style.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09
From Other Pens
s1DErRAck CAMPAIGN REFORM,

SIDETRACK CAMPAIGN REFORM.
The bill which was reported in the
house last fall providing for publicity
OF campaign expenditures and other
wise regulating the expenditure of
money in national or congressional
campaigns. remains blockaded on the
mouse calendar, and bids fair to re-
main there until it dies of neglect. or
at least until after the next senatorial
and congressional campaigns are
passed and there Is no chance Of in
reference. Week after week goes by.
with Its calendar Wednesday and no
Jealous purifier Of politics arises in
ms seat to bring this measure before
the house and put the majority party
on record for this forgotten" admin
isfratfon measure. There il n susni-
cion that opportunity for its conaid
Grafton might be found, if 1t were de-
sired, for the chief matter enrarin~
the attention Of the house such days
Is the codifcation OF the federal In -.
which has been in progress FOR so,,.s'
thing like thirty or forty years R,,4
tne enactment of new rules for The
political game at this time. in such
proximity to the beginning of piav
evidently is not considered fair. More
over, II present Indications are con-
nrmeo' money will not be anv TOO
plenty for campaign purposes rs.
year. and none of the conRressmer
desires TO discourage any OF ~ fhot
might De tempted to make On
pearance--Philadelp Bulletin.
FEMINISM IN AMERICA
but the agitation for the vote 4. o,,~
a part. and nowadays not the most IN.
portant part. of the feminist na".,". III
IN the United States. It is rather curio,,s
that the two countries where femirsrs".
mas been most venturesome In fsji ~rS
on paper are Germany, where wom~S
nave oeen perhaps excessively depressed.
haps excessively INDUCED. Certainlv =,
the United States all the aspects Of the
relationship OF the sexes. are today h.s,,S
canvasSed with diligence ana free6o,n1
tnat twenty years ago would have heen
1 uS ana nfty years ago impossible.
clever pens are drumming it into hs1n th"e
ne mas made mess of government 20
c1ety. mcrals. marriage indusfrv ana
everything else. and that It Is time fos
him to prepare for a process analogous 10
spring cleaning in all departments Of
and ideas. his domestic arrangements md
assumptions, his double standard ~
morality and his Industrial practices are
All being shrewdly assaiIed; ehd the
harmless American man now finds HIM
sc, nro denoun ,nsd a. the foe to women's
mor.ls.. the represser Of their Claims to
political and civic equality. ana the en-
SLAYER OF their Municipalities. Feminism.
In short. IL raking him fore and AFT II Is
AL highly stimulating and earnest ana not
q little divertins; and 1t seems not UNI
likely to make the United stafes the
forcinz-bed OF q more abundant crop Of
social panaceas than the world has been
privileged to witness since the French
Revolution--London Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09

Whenever a woman's convention
ends in a FUSS which seems to be the
rule, mere man may surely be par
doned for wondering II the same sort
of conditions would not prevail were
the fair sex entrusted with the con-
duct of public affairs.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09

Possibly the chinch bugs, the Hes
sian flies and divers and sundry other
bugs and worms. are not as active as
usual In the wheat fields this year be-
cause of the enormous crop that is
being grown. Even an insect is likely
to be wise enough not to tackle a
Job that is altogether too big for it.
They have regulations to maintain.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09

All the Texas state troops having
been withdrawn from the Mexican
border, Governor Colquitt takes his
place in military history along side
the famous king of France who
marched his army up a hill and then
marched it down again.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09

From the rather meager reports so
far received Of the details of Colonel
Roosevelt's South American expedi-
ton it appears that he has enjoyed
enough of what he calls FUN" to last
him for the rest of his life. But he
will probably put on a bout with Ice
bergs and the dangers of the frozen
north. in year or two. as that is a
variety of a bully, good time he has
not yet experienced
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09

More evidence of the present. day
equality between the sexes. The
pitcher of the Wellesley College junior
baseball team has developed a mysteri-
Gus shoot that is the terror and dismay
Of al opposing batswomen. 1t floats
up to tho home plate swiftly. hesitates
in front of the batteress, and then
sinks away out of range of the bat.
Naturally it has been dubbed the hes
itation drop and experts declare, that
it is no less than 1kS Famous Mathew
sons wonderful sfadesSsay but in a
more bothersome form
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09

And the prospective wheat crop Of
e30s00O,0 bustelsy the largest by far
that has ever been grown in this
country, would not appear to indi-
cate that the wheat fields have been
robbed of their energy by careless
methods OF agriculture. as some Of the
alarmists have been declaring from
time to time. However. too much at
tention cannot be paid to the conser-
must be remembered that the average
yield per acre, even during this BUM
per crop season, will not be nearly as
large as it is possible to make It. or
as large as the average yields in some
II the foreign countries.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09

No doubt now about the arrival of
spring. The hoboes are on the march
in ever-increasing numbers to the open
country from their winter lairs in the
big cities, where charity il dispensed
lavishly and promiscuously during the
winter months, and where clever
panhandler can live easily with the
aid of free lodging houses, and mission
soup and coffee houses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-05-09

Just how there can be prospects for
bumper crops with Democratic ad-
ministration in the saddle at Washing
ton is a condition of affairs that Is
probably most mysterious to a few OF
the Oldest inhabitants among the
mOss-back Republicans.