Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1914-03-31
HOMEMAKERS' COLUMN.
Correspondence on topics of interest to the adie.
IL solicited. Address: Editor HonEAAKHRas
CoLUHN. Oxford Democrat, South Paris. Ne

COLUMN Oxforu OomoctsA ooo>o & sA'ss ~
The Guest Who "Wauts to Help"
She comes rustling blitbely into the
kitchen about an hour before luncheon
in silken, bewitohing morning lingerie,
Just a. you are in the very midst OF the
fray-hushed, nervous and ver.burden'
ed with the hundred little and big per
plexities known only to the mistress OF q
household who 10 "doipg her OWL
work."
"Now, Cousin Ellen, do let me help
about lunch-rd just love to" she
gurgles, affectionately. "You mustn't
make company of me, dear, you know;
I can always fit right in anywhere, and
do anything. Just try mew
You thank her with . hypocriticsl
warmth languid seventh smile Of q
seventh smile. Perhaps you are per
forming some especially delicate cult
nary operation-droppiDg oil into your
mayonnaise, or thickenipg the cream fol-
timbale or ramekin, or straining Gro
quette.
You are painfully conscious that your
hair is all at loose ends, your face tense
and perspiring, and that NO detail OF
YOUR faded, most ancient wrapper 10 be-
ing lost upon your cool, fragrant, fault
lessly -groomed guest, who stands there
smiling and immaculste-every pun Of
her hair shining and symmetrical to the
ninth degree!
From your Utmost heart you long to
exclaim "Get out! II you truly want
to help, leave me alone. Go back to the
parlor and read, or play the piano, OF
anything else-only let me do my work
by myself"
But the charming little visitor is al
ready scurryipg about cheerily. "You
can't stop me, Cousin Ellen! I'm going
to make you some of my hot biscuit
have the grandest recipe! So-if you'll
| just bring me the butter and lard and
rolling. pin-There! I've found the -four
myself!'' and you hear her rummagine
about In the pantry, peering into pals
and jars, all the little secrets Of your en-
tire menage exposed to her bright and
curious eyes. How you shrink inwardly
at thought of those unwashed dishes
hidden away back of the tins on the cup
board shelf! At the pantry floor un
secured, and baking bowls lying about
in unaccustomed places because OF un
expected company.
my dear, did you know your onions
are simply spelling here?" with gen
tie forbearance more maddening thar
frank condemnation. "Now, If you ar
ranged these things systematically. as
do. Or, perhaps, she simply follows
you about, silently observing every proc
ess, every action, until you are nearly
on the verge of hysteria.
"Why, what queer idea, Cousin FL
len! Your ways are all 80 different
from mine. Now, I'm sure 1t would b'
a great saving of your time and strength
if you'd try only" ETC., etc. Your grim
silence gives her an opportunity to con
tinue, alphabetically:
"Your silver needs little polishing
dear. Do let me rub 1t over bit TO-
morroww you know that she vii
have forgotten all about 1t by to morrow
but will not fail to report to your rela
tives that "poor Cousin Ellen has to le
some things Goa woman always slack
ems q little when the children come
But helped her all l could.'O
And, finally, when she overturns tha
fudge.sauce upon her lacey front
breadth and with sweet resignation a.
serts it is of no consequence, you are
miserably conscious that all Johns folk
will promptly learn how she ruined heI
lovely new lingerie preparing luncheon
for dear Ellen; las a matter OF fact, dea
Ellen would have lunched off the kitch
en- table, had she had no guests about. ~
If you are sensible woman you vii
say frankly to this polite () 81 thanl
you, dear girl, but you will help me bes
by leaving me to my fate 1t is impossi'
bic for me to work with anyone about
1 am sure you want to conform with tb'
rules of the house there's dear
You'll find that new novel In the librsr!
-" and gently and firmly close tn
kitchen door upon your officious friend
1t is your own fault, and you deserve
your own humiliation, loss OF temper
and self respect, If you permit even tn
proverbial inch to this especial brand o
guest who is 80 ready to take an ell.