Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1914-06-11

eight of them, and they We're partic-
ularly homely brutes; but. like most
unhandsome people. they We're saga
cious.
They took u the bouquet carrying
act like Forty.second street .Iohnnies.
Excellent! Mr.. Harley Q. Walker was
pleased with himself, the management
was pleased with him, and the news
paper men would be on hand to watch
the parade of the Towering balloons.
Mr.. Walker calculated that it should
be worth a column and pictures to
every paper in town.
We now have thirteen characters in
the cast-Sweeney, Schultz. %Sanguinet-
ii. til" little lady in the box. the press
agent and the eight balloons. Destiny
sent the fourteenth actor in the drama
lurchlnG through the doors shortly aft
err the opening of the second act. The
fourteenth actor was fat. red in the
face and of titful, troubled ideas. His
name makes no difference at all,
though he told the police afterward
that it was John Smith.
An usher looked at John Smith doubt
fully as he seated him in the very last
row upon an aisle.
Keep your eyes on that souse," he
warned his companion.
John Smith ooZed into his seat. He
found the music soothing and. with Il
series OF nervous jerks and quivers.
fell asleep and dreamed OF strange AMI
mails.
In the upper stage box Sanguinetti
and Sweeney leaned out over the rail.
trying to t1irt with the third one from
the end. Schultz slumbered titfully,
for he was tired, having played pi-
nochle on the train the night before.
The scornful little lady counted the
house and shifted.
Out in the lobby Mr.. Walker and the
trainer marshaled the eight flower
bearing balloons.
THE house is dark for the next
song" said the press agent, land that's
the time we'd better herd the monks
into their positions. She lights up
right after the 400 song for the
finale of the act. Now, let's see-four
monks to one aisle and four to the 9th
er, and you're to send 'em down with
the flowers after the third curtain call.
! front"
Did you give 'em my picture?" ask
ed the trainer anxiously.
"Surest thing you know!" lied Har-
ley Q. glibly. They'll probably want
to interview you afterward." They
did too.
"All right" said the trainer. "All
set? Hup! You, Battling Nelson, quit
that"
Battling Nelson. Il blond baboon
with a blue face and pink whiskers.
showed his teeth in a deprecatory
smile, and the procession began to
move.
The lights We're low when the flower
bearers entered the auditorium. The
stage was deserted, saw for a very big
woman with Il very little voice, who
was singing Il song to a greenish prop
erty moon. The house was. absolutely
quiet save for the vocal struggles Of
the large lady upon the stage.
At that very moment John Smith,
dreaming Of pink lizards and purple
mice, awoke with a snort and a gurgle.
He jerked his head about to make sure
Of his surroundings, and in the shad-
owy gloom of the place his astounded
eyes rested upon a solemn procession
of dog faced apes with bouquets in
their hands. The balloons were pass
ing along the runway behind the last
row Of seats, and they were SO close
that John Smith might have touched
them.
Now. every one knows that when a
man is accustomed to pink lizards and
purple mice, balloons with roses in
their hands are a terrible shock to his
nervous system.
John Smith leaped to his feet with
a hoarse howl Of terror, and even as he
yelled he launched a tremendous kick
at the balloon nearest to him.
Then everything happened at once.
You "a kick Il baboon if you see
him first. but you cannot make him
like it. A baboon is sensitive. He
doesn't look it. but you never can tell
from the color of a baboon'S face what
his disposition may be.
Two balloons and three ushers hurl-
ed themselves upon John Smith, who
began to fight like a maniac. scream
ing at the top of his voice. Those in
the back of the house had jumped to
their feet with the first yell. Now
Smiths cries were mixed with the
chattering and barking of the eight
balloons.
Down in front 4 woman began to
scream Historically. 1t was her voice
which stampeded the six balloons who
had up to that point taken no part in
the battle. One of the brutes sprang
Upon the railing and started for the
footlights over the heads of the peo-
pie, and as he went he used his sheaf
of American Beauties as a club. The
other balloons followed him, shrieking
and chattering like crazy things. One
baboon would have been enough to