davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16

seer
The Squire had Just II cents in
change. He counted 1t over three
-times-just II.
I'm send the cent by the boy" he
said.
"All right, Ezra"
But he didn't send It. 1t slipped his
mind at the time. and in three or four
days he had entirely forgotten it. After
waiting a week for that cent the Dea-
con said TO himself:
by John, but I wouldn't have be-
lieved it Of the squire! Went at It as
deliberately as an old COW jumps a fence
to beat me out Of a cent! Nice sort Of
doings for a man that brags Of being
honest: I'll walk past his ONCE and give
him a chance to hail me and hand over"
He did SO, and he saw the squire in
the door, but no coin was Forthcoming.
He spoke about the lime, but It did not
recall anything to the squire's mind.
The old dead-beat!" he muttered IN
his way home. He thinks he can beat
be out of that cent. but I'll show him
he can't. He'll either pay or I'll sue
him clear to the Supreme Court at Wash
ington!"
And when he entered the house he
said to his wife: -.
Euniee. what do you think Of a man
WIN try to beat you out of a cent?"
Hes small-minded eritter. Moses.
Who is itT''
''Squar' Holdfast!'
You can't mean itp'
Hes the critter. sold him some
lime the other day and he was a cent
short on the pay"
But meebe he's forgot IT. Have you
seen him sincer'
-Just vent around 70 h. oass. .na
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16

When word was sent in to Senator Root
that the P. D. Q. Man wanted to inter
view him. the message came back:
Meet me at the bakery around the
corner an hour hence. It's a bully place
to load"
The Senator was given his choice be-
| tween an interview and being blown up,
and he came down of his perch.
Il was reaedlng up on poultry" he
J explained. Have you every kept chick
ens?'
Il have. Senator"
White leghorns?''
Yes"
How many
"Seventy-five in the flock"
"Ah. I am glad you called. You can
give me some pointers
Senator II is charged
Yes. know" he interrupted. land
well come TO that by and by. It is a
curious thing about books on poultry. The
more you buy and read the less informa-
tion you get What did you feed your
Leghorns on?"
ice cream in the summer. and oyster
soup in the winter
How much room did you give them
TO wander in?''
"A hent to an acre. and two acres to a
rooster"
How many eggs did you get per day."
How many little chicks during the
season."
Two or three"
I'm. I'm: It looks rather costly to
me. but then it's a diversion"
1T surely is. It's the greatest sort Of
fun 10 chase an old hen over an acre Of
grass"
And the poultry books say that every
hen can be taught TO sing
That's right. and every rooster to
play on the banjo. Now, then. Senator.
you are charged"
Yes. yes, but don't you think il
strange that the inventive genius Of this
country hasn't tackled the problem YETI
What is that. SENATOR
Peanut shells. There are thousands
of bushels of them wasted every year
instead Of being converted into dollars.
Have YOU given the matter a serious
thought"
Senator you are a little behind the
times More than two years ago 1 rec
commended them to orphan and other
asylums."
You did,"
And now not shell goes 10 waste.
Prepared with four parts 'lasses 20 one
part peanut shells it is a dish for tn
gods. The orphans never had so much
fat on their ribs"
And you haven't had the thanks OF
Congress-"
Not a darned thank! Lorimer was
going to see about it, but you fellows
bounced him out to give yourselves a
coat Of whitewash."
so We did. nv sOn-so we did. must
personally see that you get what is COM
ing 10 you
Thanks for the thanks, Senator. and
now I want to say again that you are
charged with"
DO you go out into the country now
and them he cut in.
u do"
And you see woodpeckers and chip
munks?"
Lots Of EN-"
And the quail whistles Bob White
just as he used to-
Just the same"
And the woodchuck sings his glad
song%'
You hear him every few minutes.
Senator"
And. say. does the farmers have the
same kind OF boiled dinner that they
used to-"
NO change"
'GolIy. but I'd like TO sit down to one
again, Corned beef. cabbage, carrots
beets and parsenips. and the farmer ill
ing your plate as fas as empty !y John.
Il makes my mouth water! tel vnI. ny
son, Y hen you are scheminG to get - D.
Senator and live In Washington YOU
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16

dunning a man like Squar' Hardfast for
centr'
An affair like that is not over with in
village In day nor a week. 1t is
something to be talked of in every family
from dozen viewpoints. II it hadn't
been for the outsiders the two men would
have probably got together in a week or
two and apologized to each other, but
they could make no move In that di-
rection with their respective adherents
eounselIng.
Don't you be the first to offer to
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16
BOWSER HE HELPS
He Is Hero at House-cleaning.

knocked the nose OF a marble bust OF
Shakespeare and Mrs. Bowser called
down to know what had happened.
''Nothing-nothing tall" replied Mr..
Bowser as he picked UP the nose and
flung It out Of the window You just
keep quiet. and I'll show you how TO do
this house-cleaning. / don't think weh
have to put breakfast ahead Of the usual
time"
In carrying the ornaments into the si:-
ting room he struck a vase against a
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16

When she had handed him the duster
and disappeared. Mr.. Bowser advanced
and kicked that heap Of carpet about
forty times as hard as he could swing
his legs. A hundred tacks had jabbed
into him and left smarttng wounds. but
he felt easter after the kicking. All that
was needed now to finish up was to use
the duster. He carried the step-lad-
der over to a corner and mounted II and
began work, and as he worked he
chuckIed. Mrs. Bowser had figured on
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16

parlor into the sitting room. The casters
chirruped and the dust few, and Mrs.
Bowser lodged the dancing chairs and
made her way upstairs. There were
pictures and wall ornaments to come
down. II would have taken Mrs. Bowser
half a day to remove them, out the time
consumed by Mr.. Bowser was a little
short Of twelve minutes. That was a
saving of eleven hours and forty-eight
minutes to begin with. In taking the
pictures down he grabbed them by the
corners and gave a fiirt and a twist and
snapped wires or hooks and started the
molding from the wall, but he was work
ing against time. As the last picture
came down the corner struck and
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16

eral feeling that Sam picked up a
grizzly bear among his other speci-
mems. and that the bear objected. If
he does not show up within three or
four days a searching party will be
sent out to look for any relics lying
around loose.
Alderman jackson was around town
yesterday calling US Nero and a
Caesar and other fond names. and ask
ing various people how much longer
they were going to keep their necks un-
der our iron heels. What ails Tom
Jackson. as everybody knows, Is that
we ruled him out of order at the last
council meeting and held a gun on him
till he sat down. He had figured to get
the drop on US. but he was 100 slow
The iron heel business is all right We
calculate to keep right on being mayor
for several years yet, and II Alderman
Jackson is afraid of his neck he'd bet
ter hunt another town.
The little affair in The Kicker office
last Thursday has been grossly magni-
fled by our esteemed contemporary. A
long-haired, lOng-eared compositor from
the East, to whom We had given
weeks work. formed our seven printers
into a union and got up a strike. We
had never had one before and didn't
know exactly how 10 meet it. but final
ly took of our coat and sailed into the
crowd. 1t was the medicine needed. We
got a few thUmps and bangs, but in the
course of half an hour the strike was
over. the union dissolved and the agita-
tor taking a walk. We are for liberty,
equality, high wages. shorter hours and
all the rest of it. but the man who sets
out TO run our business has got to lick
US first.
We were told on Tuesday that the
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16

1t is now two weeks since Sam Roys
went over to Cat Mountain to gather
geological specimens for an Eastern
college, and no one has heard from him
since the daN he Lett. There is q gen
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16

The report published in a Chicago
paper that we had driven every lawyer
out of Giveadam Gulch at the muzzle
of a gun is, of course, all nonsense
Three or four years ago. before the bar
got on to our editorial tactics in case
Of a liberal suit, we believe we did
help a lawyer or two to get over into
Utah, but there has been no trouble OF
late, nor DO we apprehend any. 1t is
the business OF a lawyer to start a
libel suit against US If retained for that
purpose, and it is our business to call
on him and quash the case, and the
understanding is so we'll grounded that
no trouble ever arises.
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16
ARIZONA KICKLETS
No Duel Because Editor Baker Flunked

Maj. Borgardus relates that as he
was returning from a trip to Lone Jack
the other day he was pursued for over
a mile by a large cinnamon bear and
came near being overtaken. We don't
believe the story. We don't say right
out that the major is a liar; but, If
pinned down to it, we would make af-
fdavit that he couldn't tell the truth
for money.
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16

We were told on Tuesday that I'll
The Washington herald., 1914-08-16

Many a man has gone through life
widout too much bein' said agin him,
but arter his death de widder has
spoiled 1t all by crowdin' too much in de
epitaph. nebber really got mad At de
man who cheated me IN mswi trade til
The citizen., 1914-02-20
pesoIate West Africa.

Lobito bay. in Portuguese West
Africa, is a wonderful natural harbor
and also place for splendid oysters.
They are long shelled oysters and
grow On trees. At low tide these
oysters (very good eating) are picked
on the trunks of the trees below
high water mark These oysters con-
stitute a pleasant welcome 10 what for
100 miles inland is a desolste terri
tory. Between the short and the in
terror plateau lies the thirsty coun-
try" where no rain has fallen for
years. Everything is a dull dead gray
and the only trees that flourish are
the gigantic baobabs, which grow like
an inverted cabbage and yield cream
Of tartar. In building the railway
through this district, Of every 100
men employed thirty were occupied in
carrying up supplies Of water.
The citizen., 1914-02-20
Hits at Parcel Post.

The Senate Committee on Postohices
and Post Roads mas revived the movement
to strip the Postmaster General and th :
Inter State Commerce Commission OF
power to extend the parcel post service.
Representative David J. Lewis. Of Mary
land. father Of the parcel post, " said the
movement if successful, virtually means
the death Of parcel post.
The Senate Committee on Postoffices
approved an amendment to the Parcel
Post act. which provides that no further
extensions in the service shall be made
until authorized BY Congress. In other
words the Senate committee amendment
ties the Postmaster Generals hands and
vests in Congress the power to Change
The rates, TO increase weight limits. re-
form the zone plan and TO make other ex-
tensions when the service Justifies them.
When advised OF this movement Rep
resentative Lewis. Of Maryland. was an
noyed- He declared that he would pre-
fer 10 see the whole Parcel Post act re-
pealed than 10 see Congress kill the pro-
vision in the act authorizing the Post
master General 10 extend the service
when the extensions are approved by the
Interstate Commerce Commission.
The citizen., 1914-02-20
CunosIrY o. rasr1cn.

One OF the curiosities OF fashion is
the return Of the walking stick 10
favor. It has had its ups and downs
ever since the days Of Pericles, when
no Athenian gentleman dared be seen
abroad without il Just as hye-and-
twenty years ago the Oxford under
graduate. when not in aannels or
academical, must carry 4 walking
stick
1t is certainly not the undergraduate
who is bringing the former fashion in
again, for his pose in a Norfolk jacket
and slouch in slippers-and without
q hat a ''clouded cane" would be
out OF place with such accompani-
ments. Nor do We think il is tie
actor, which has always stood out
literally-against the support Of the
stick in the streets. knowing that its
nice conduct" viii spoil MS poise.
and really. to z young man. The cane
seems the msst s-psr-5oLs q s1cum-
trances.
The citizen., 1914-02-20
LEGISLATURE

Nh Nelson introduced a bill. by re-
quest. prohibiting the sale o. liquor with
in two miles Of New Market High school
Referred TO the Temperance Committee
Mr. Belt introduced a bill 70 repeal
mortgage tax law 50 far as Il refers 70
Frederick county.
The following bills, local. were passed:
Mr Matthias bill 10 confirm the consoli-
daiion Of Electric Railways and Power
Companies II Washington and Frederick
counties. also a bill to amend the Chhrter
Of Brunswick
A bill was introduced BY Senator Ma
thias app opriating $500 for the purchase
Of copies Of the reported opinions Of
Judge McSherry BY Judge y. Charles
Burke. Referred 10 Finance Committee.
House bin BY Mr.. Nelson relating 10
hunting in Frederick county. was amend
ed and passed to lis third reading
The committee on amendments TO the
constitution rejected by vote OF 10 J
the Woman's Suffrage BILL
The bill regulating the barber trade
was defeated and agreement reached that
ii passed it should only apply 10 Balti-
more city.
The citizen., 1914-02-20

an important appointment on the Com
mittee on Banking and Currency Sen
ztor OtGormzn. OF New York. resigned
as q member OF this committee so that
be could devote more OF his time and
attention to the other big committees Of
which he IS a member and the place was
given TO MaTyisnd's new Senator.
The Banking and Currency Committee
IS one Of the most important il Congress
and especially 50 a. present because OF
the passage Of the new Currency Law.
This law provides FOR the establishment
Of number OF regional banks and Bal
timoTe business men are making des-
perzte fight Tor the establishment Of one
OF these banks in Baltimore City There
IS no doubt that Senator Lee. as a mem
Der Of the Banking and Currency Com
mitiee. will have much influence concern
ing the location OF these regional banks.
and he viii unquestionablY work dill
gently 10 have one place0 mere. Balil-
more and Maryland IS fortunate in hav-
ing Senator Lee named as Z member Of
this committee al this oppOTluCe time.
The citizen., 1914-02-20
MUCH AND LITTLE.

London has a school for servants.
Bavaria plans a system OF unemployed
insurance.
Coins are in circulation on an average
p yeals.
About 8 per cent Of OhIo's automobiles
are electric cars.
The number OF unemployed in Berlin
is estimated al 100. 900.
Anatolian sheep have heavy. fiat tails.
weighing up 10 p pounds. Marco Polo
saw and described them.
Fashionable women are now having
the upholstery OF their liuousines done
over 10 match their winter hats
The time that viii De required for ships
10 60 through the Panama canal will be
from ten 10 twelve hours.
Seven thousand SIX hundred and eighty
one persons were imprisoned for debt IL
England and Wales in the year Of 1911.
Canada cuts about 1000 900 cords of
pulp wood annually, about half OF which
IS exported Tor manufacture il the United
States.
Arrangements have been completed for
stauonIng il Hongkong a representative
Of the Philippine government. under
whose direction cattle intended for IN
portation into the Philippines viii be in
oculaied in Hongkong. By the process
planned the cattle will experience mild
attack Of rindeTpest il being treated wiki
serum against the disease. The result Is
complete immunity OF the cattle from the
disease in the future.
According to figures published by the
Monetary Times Of Toronto. the sum
total OF American invesimests 10 Canada
was <536. ga 900 in 1913, as compared
with S4I7.I43.ooo in 1911 and S27e. .o75.-
900 IN 1893. The figures for me year just
closed are no;. Of course, yet available.
but il Is Z conservative estimate which
places the value Ct the output Of the fac
tones OF New South Wales tor 1914 Al
S3I6. 600. eco. The actual production for
1918 was S297. 7.OOoo 600, and Inc wages
paid 10 the employees exceeded $3.50 :
600.
The citizen., 1914-02-20
Peace Centenary Plans.

The Anglo-Amedcan Peace Center
ary, an association formed in England to
celebrate the Tooth anniversary Of peace
between the United States and England,
has sent to Mayor Fraley an announce
ment Of its plans for the celebration of
this centenary which proposes to bring
the matter before the school children OF
each nation and to have hung in each
school Of the two nations q momento Of
the centenary. The association has pur-
chased Sulgraye Manor. the ancestral
home Of George Washington, the first
president Of the United States. The me-
.meuto for schools is 10 inches long by 20
inches wide, mounted on rollers and Of
linen, with the royal coat OF arms Of King
Henry VII Below is a copy OF the
Kings grant Of Sulgrave Manor to Laur-
ence Washington, md a view Of the
manor house IS also shown. The copies
sell at 20 shillings and six pence each.
The citizen., 1914-02-20
ADVICE FROM THE VETERAN
Actors Opinion Of Ability OF his
Would-5e Colleague Was Not IN
the Least Degree Flattering'

The veteran actor, C. ". Couldock'
who is probably best remembered D!
the theatergoers for his impersonallon
OF DuDstan Kirk in Hazel Kirke'
many years ago. was putting COM
panv together for 2 contemplated
tour. The actors we're 10 be recruit
ed from q stock company in Cleveland
Ohio.
Mr. CouIdock, addressing one OF the
actors. Ogden by name, asked that
gentleman 10 see him (Couldock) II
his dressing room after the perform
ance.
Ogden was on the job as soon as
he heard the curtain bump the door.
ogden" said Couldock, what busl-
ness are you supposed TO be play
tng?"
Second comedy, sir.
What might your salary be?'
Twelve dollars e week, sir."
"How much DO you pay for board?
Five dollars z week. sir"
"Weu." said Couldock, very slowly
IF was z young man and ny name
was Ogden, and I was playing second
comedy, and I was getting $lz
week and paid IS for board, I'd Try TO
put By q little each week, say, 90
cents (e7en if I had to give up some
Of ny beer till got $3.50"
"And then?" said the jubilant Og-
den.
I'D go TO a good secondhand store
and buy q good hatchet and chop my
d head of"
P. S.-Ogden wasn't engaged.-Chi-
cago Journal.
The citizen., 1914-02-20
Got Her Souvenir.

There is a certain famous violinist
who frequently visits this country, and
who, among mis- acquaintances, is al
most as noted for his parsimony as for
his genius. Among this musician 8
admirers was a young woman who
was determined, il possible, 10 pro-
cure some souvenir OF the great man.
Her opportunity came one rainy day
when she CHANGED 10 encounter the
musician on Broadway. He was pro-
vided with an old cotton umbrella,
green with age; while the young wom-
an carried a nice new silk one. She
stopped him for moment exclalm-
ing: "Oh, if you would only give me
some slight remembrance Of yourself
no matter how SMALL" The great
man surveyed her keenly, and then
gave a glance at the old cotton um-
brella that covered him. This he
thrust into her hands, saying: Ger
tainly, my dear young lady. I shall
be delighted. We will exchange UNI
brellas."
The citizen., 1914-02-20
ACT ON FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Old Adage That "He Who HesItates
Is Lest" Is Whole Bundle
of Truth.

IN q letter 10 a friend al great
moral crisis il his life Darwin eX-
pressed an observation which is con-
frmed by general experience. The
action which had suggested itself TO
him when he first faced the crisis ne
had condemned as dishonorable. On
further consideration. when he was
sorely tempted 10 proceed, he told his
friend OF the struggle he was having,
but added. First impressions are gen
orally right" and he proposed 10 stand
By his first impression that the course
II view would be dishOnorable.
When a moral question involving
difficulties is put up 70 a person his
first impression is On the merits OF
the question, without reference to the
difficulties OF the course. Later the
difficulties begin to loom up, and eau
ton is apt 10 get the better OF the
doubter.
Reflection on q matter Of disagree
able duty often paralyzes action. The
adage, He who hesitates is lost, en-
bodies z store Of wisdom.
The citizen., 1914-02-20
Big Saving by Economy Bills.

If the economy bills 10 be urged for
passage At Annapolis by a delegation
representing the Frederick County Farm
ers' Association, are all successful in their
trip through the Legislature, It IS esti-
mated, in round figures, tflat yearly
saving Of between I'VE and ten thousand
dollars will result TO Frederick county.
Yesterday morning the following rep
resentailyes Of the Farmers Association
left for Annapolis to present the proposed
economy measures to the Legislature;
James H. Gambriil Jr.. D. J. Markey. Z
H. Mcbride. George r. Dennis. r. Rush
Lewis. William Grove, Jesse P. King
and Emory Remsburg
II IS in the proposed bills making
changes IN the administration of affairs 10
the county treasurer's Office that the
greatest savings are expected 10 be made.
The salary of that official. who will also
serve as clerk 10 the County Commission
ers under the new measures. IS to be
fiat S. 600 per annum, without any other
emolument. This will do away with the
fees arising from zCcumulations OF inter
est OF county funds and discounts for the
early payment Of State taxes that under
the present system iuure entirely 10 the
benefit OF the county treasurer. Whether
or not under the proposed new laws these
discounts and interest accumulations will
De added TO the cOnniy's Golfers, will de-
pend upon the activity OF the treasurer in
taking advantage OF opportunities TO get
them.
The citizen., 1914-02-20
Hints Worth Remembering.

When making coffee. this improves the
flavor. Place the coffee in a pan in a
fairly hot oven for about three minutes
before making.
Raw potatoes are very good 10 use il
the knives are very badly stained. Take
= raw potato. cut in half then dip Il in
powdered bath5rick and rub the knives
II.
When pot.ed plants begin TO dToop,
the following method IS very good for
freshening them up: Add a teasPoonful
o ammonia 10 three quarts Of water, and
water the plants ireely with il.
Having trouble in getting all 7
OF greens after they have been Co.'s 20
overcome this difficulty place q slice OF
DRY bread in the bottom Of the vegetable
dish. This absorbs the moisture and i'm
proves the greens greatly.
The citizen., 1914-02-20
DAMAGE Done by SCOT.

The acids contained in SCOT attack
mortar, masonry, woodwork, metal
work and building material generally.
In many European cities it has been
found that SCOT causes ths rapid dis
integration Of statuary and public
monuments. The damage done to in
side decorations appears to be no less
important than the effects upon the
exterior Of buildings
Smoke is visible proof OF imperfect
combustion Of fuel. and consequently
evidence of waste and ineficiency. ~
The citizen., 1914-02-20

private schools and COLLEGES all over the
State. The State Is not bound TO sup
port these private institutions. We
mean BY private schools that they ere
nCt . part Of the State School System.
10 the second place there Is no State nsed
o. them, because the public system Is Is
far a the taxpayers generally ought to
be buIdsne5. If the people want 10
send their children To = college lei them
pay for it.
Il Is time there vas a halt IN these
wildcat and unjust appropriations Of the
money Of the taxpayers They are
neither wise nor just, and ,here are
always good jobs behind them for an in
terested few, who fassen on the peo-
PIE. The Democratic party owes it
to the people to put stop to this cor
rupt system, because 1t claims and pro
fesses 10 be an honest and economical
party, and We charge It to appropriate
no more money to Johns Hopkins Uni
versity in this generation, for It has
been hideous nightmare Of the tax
piyers, as vel Is the other private
schools and colleges.