davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-12-12

Copyright. 1914, The Star Co. Great
Britain Rights Reserved).
LIT SEE" said Mr.. Dooley, that a
society has been FORMED to stop
4 aftherdinner orathry an I ex-
pict ivry day to read that its rooms
has been raided by the polls. Fr, iv
coorse. this is a murdher s'ciety, like
tn Mafeeya. Te' on'y way We can pre-
vint an aftherdinner orator firm
oratin' afther dinner is to s%thrangle
him. It wuddent do amy good not to
ask him to tn bankit. hid go amy
how.
He'd disguise himsilf as a waiter or
concale himsilf behind tn ported palms
an rs soon as tn dimmytassies came
on he'd lean out an begin; Misther
Chairman an gintlemen. 1 am re-
minded be this occasion " a story that
I got firm me OF Grind Dock Hos
tetter-an' 80 on"
"Ye didn't always feel that way
said Mt. Hennessy.'
Il know I didn't" said Mr.. Dooley.
Twas wanst the hite of me ambition
to stand up behind a bank iv flowers
with n good seegar in wan hand an g.
napkin in tn other an wan mInylt
have me audience convulsed with
AA4aAAEA ca 4AAhNALA %LEAa
in tears. I told We a long time ago
what a tur-rble fist / made ~ It, how
] frgOt to commit amy part " Ihe
Grafton to mimry EXCEPT tn parts that
ar-re printed in brackets like; ap-
plause. loud an prolonged laughter
cries iv No, no. Go on an tn like,
an how without utthrin' a wurrd I
sunk to M chair a mute, tnglorious
'since thin I go to a bankit iv TIL
Dimmycratic club only to injye meslf
be watchin' Nv the fellows that Expects
to be called on fr speeches an OBJ
sarve tn wealthy contractor that has
lust been ilicted gOin' without nour-
ishment he don't know which
fork to use
"But because I was tn most tur-
rble failure as an orator that tn
wurruld has iver seen, is no raison
why I should want to surprise tn.
poor fellows be whence. It's US that
encourages them that is to blame.
Ivry nation injyes some kin Nv a
crOol sport an afther-dinner orathry
is the same with us as bull-fightin'
is the S~panyards.
Did We liver go to a bankit2 "
cOOrse not Why did I ask We such a
foolish question: Well, We go into a
big room where there's A lot iv little
tables, occupied be people that ar-re
there to injye themselves, an a long,
raised table where they stick tn con-
demned culprits. A man who has been
chose because iv his harsh manner
an tn ready flow iv insults at his
command sets in tn middle amongst
thin. He's the only one at aise in tn.
line. An why %shudden't he be at aise:
He's the ixicutioner. TIL others ar-re
pale with ambition an fright. They
do not ate or drink anything that's
passed to thin. They don't speak to
each other. Now an thin they moisten
their parched lips with a sin iv wather.
But most iv tn time they're wurrukin
away with little stubs iv pencils pol
ishin' up their last dyin' u~tthrances
'Manewhile tn a-ads at tn little
tables who ar-re not loOlEin' fr fame or
glory ar-re hayin' a gran time. It's
Hey, waither, bring another gourd iv
that Fr-rinch cider Well Mike, here's
bad luck to We Boy, some more dim
my-tassy' Good stories ARE gOin'
round. guests are stealth each others
souvenirs to take home to tn child
her. at a corner table four Oh gintlemen
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-12-12

are usually condemned to death by ex-
posture because double births are IN
lucky. Yet the native converts are
ardent Enthusiastically at Christ
mas time, when presents are to be be-
stowed-and they take part in the fes-
tivities with utmost enthusiasm. U.s.
ually the Christmas tree is planted, in
a hole dug for the. purpose, out Of
doors. When the gifts, attached to its
branches, ave been duly allotted. shad-
Ow pictures-a primitive moving pic
ture show are exhibited, with the
help of a sheet tied yer a window and
a table and lamp behind. Finally, logs
are piled about the tree, fire is set 10
them, and the people dance with ex-
travagant capers round the blaze.
Frightened by Santa Claus.
Sometimes a good deal Of tact and
discretion have tC be used in elucidat-
ing the mysteries of Christmas for the
benefit of saVages. Thus, at n OF
the stations on the Niger, a missionary
undertook to assume the part of Santa
Claus, and in this guise, with long red
cloak and white beard, carrying a sack
ful of gifts, entered the room in which
a large number of children had been
assembled. Instead of being pleased
however, they greeted him with shrieks
and SrOans, crying, Let me out! 1t is
the Evil One" Some of them fled, while
others crept under chairs and tables to
htde-the consequence being that Santa
Claus vas compelled to divest himself
Of his costume with haste.
An Alaskan Christmas Eve.
Curiously different was the ex-
p~erience Of DR.. Sheldon Jackson. who
for many years had general charge Of
all the missionary stations in Alaska.
One Christmas Eve it occurred to him
that he might play to advantage the
part Of Santa Claus for the Eskimo
village near which he happened to be
at the time-the idea being suggested
by the fact that he had a sledge and
team Of reindeer at hand. These were
among the first reindeer that had been
fetched to Alaska from Siberia.
4 told the Eskimo Children" he says,
ito tie up their fur stockings near
their beds, because Santa Claus was
coming to visit them for the first time.
and would remember every one of them.
In preparation, 1 cut up some empty
flour sack. and from the material made
a lot Of little bags, into each of which
1 put eight cubes of white sugar, Y
pieces o fdried apples, and q dozen
raisins. 1t was not much, but it was
the best I could do.
For each Eskimo family. I filled a
tin can with flour, and added eight
navy biscuits. a pint of rice, half a
pound Of sugar, and one-third of a
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-12-12
Advertising Is Business Steam
Newspaper Is the Best Medium for Telling the Public What Is Offered fol
Shi Truth Is the Keynote to Success.

LtmHE word advertising comes
from the old Greek term which
mean to call attention to- and
anything which calls attention to that
which one has to tell may be properly
classed under the head Of Advertising
NJ. P. Carlock, advertising manager Of
the White House and a Rotarian, says.
Advertising Is n OF the most pow
erfuI words in the modern business
vocabulary. It's relation to any bust-
ness is the same as steam to an en-
CINE. the power to make things go.
ideas are the foundations of ad-
vertisement building n the stronger
the ideas the better the advertising.
Words are the vehicles of ideas and,
likewise, type the vehicle of words.
Therefore, make your words plain n
simple. The briefest sentence is al
WAYS the most forceful.
BORDERS are considered by many ad-
writer's as a finishing touch in some
what the relation of a frame to a pic
ture. But from a scientific stand
point, an advertisement, in most cases,
will be more effective without it and
IL used at all should not be fancy, or
protesque. or it will greatly detract
from the matter inside and thus injure
the pulling power Of the advertise
ment.
ILLUSTRATIONS Will give TO the aQNer-
+isement life and make it more attrac-
tive to the eve and, especially are they
beipfuL. when they honestly picture the
thing advertised. The most profitable
Advertising mediums to use for retail
establishments are the newspapers,
magazines, cataloSs, circulars, multi
graph letters and bill boards. The best
and most economical Of these is the
newspaper.
study the readers Of the medium in
which he plans his advertising cam
nairn. He must know the number,
quality and the kind Of circulation the
1ewsnaper or other medium has to Of
fer 7 firmly believe that one-half Of
the failure Of advertising copy to gain
nroner results is because the writer
fafIs to study his readers. You would
not think of advertising fur coats in
tbe tropics. Neither would you ad-
.~veTtise fans in the Arctic circle. Study
your readers.
Tbe Price Is the Thing.
"Price governs the world. So don't
forget the price. 1t is the magic word
in modern retail advertising. But price
is NOT everything. 1t must be backed
Nv quality, truth n service. Truth
is undoubtedly revolutionizing adver-
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-12-12
w

W WASHINGTON. D. C.. Dec. 12.-
M Missionaries usually celebrate
Christmas under difficulties.
IN fa--away parts Of the world. often
among barbarous or eve savage peo-
pie. they have not at hand the most
ordinary facilities and paraphernalia
for the purpose. Frequently there is
nothing that looks like a Christmas
tree 70 be obtained. and some more
or less unsatisfactory substitute must
be made to serve.
Hang Christmas Tree Upside Down.
Thus, for example. n Methodist mis-
sionary tells OF Christmas festivities
which he organized IN Natal. in a Zulu
church built Of mud, with six tiny win
dows. The sacred edifice was so small
that only one hundred people could
be crowded into it, and. because there
was no room on the floor. the tree
was hung from the ceiling, upside
down.
1t was an evergreen tree, thick with
long spiky thorns, on which were
stuck packages containing pieces Of
cloth, dresses, handkerchiefs, and other
gifts. There were also baskets, hung
on the branches. filled with cakes Of
yellow soap, for it appears that the
Zulu are highly appreciative Of soap,
and the children will even eat it like
candy.
When the time arrived to give out
the presents. the tree was lowered by
the rope which a been used to haul
IL up. Some Of the boys received, as
special pri zes for good conduct. feath-
ers to which strips Of paper bearing
their names were pinned-each such
feather representing a chicken which
was in a COOP outside.
Christmas In West Africa.
In West Africa a substantial fund Is
subscribed each year for the celebra-
tion Of Christmas at the various mis-
sionary stations-as, for instance, on
the Niger river. Government officials
and traders often contribute to it hand
somely, the money being invested In
cloth, gay-colored handkerchiefs, mir
rors. knives, trumphets, and other arti-
cles likely to be appreciated as gifts.
These are distributed among the sta
tons in boxes. It is a region of very
primitive savagery, where cannibaltsm
Is commonly praticed, and twin babies
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-12-12

tfsaug methods. The time Of exaggeFa-
ton and misrepresentation is past
THE public is getting urea OF u
perlatives and many adwrtters are Try
ing to eliminate, as much as possloles
such words as best finest, greatest,
and other questionable terms and get
down to the plain, simple
having the genuine ring OF truth.
an making up large advertisements
the writer must remember that the
prime object is to sell goods and the
first great point in making up an al
vertisement is to see that the prlnclpal
parts are properly displayed re-
tail adwriter is not unlike an editor
of a large newspaper with numerous
buyers and department managers cor
responding to reporters continually
bringing fresh store news 10 Dc
whipped into shape for publication
window displays should match up
and back up the advertising when pos
sible. Goods advertised viii always
sell faster when displayed in the snow
windows. Price tickets will sell goods
when they will not sell otherwise.
Basic Principles.
Now back to the basic principles OF
retail advertising. Headlines are the
first bids for business. Put your pest
efforts on them. They are the eye
catchers and attractors Of
If the headline is successful the adver-
tisement will be read but Otherwise
the money is wasted.
Next comes quality. No word L
the vocabulary OfFbusiness is more preg-
nant with significance than h WORD
quality You may apply it to goods,
to service or to ability.
After quality m price. When
you have attracted the attention OF
the reader and described the goods
honestly, state the price and sign your
name.
Service is the modern key to great
err business. The large stores of Amer
lea give special attention to it as a
factor in business as never before.
Poor service. or an atmosphere Of dis
trust, will defeat n advertising and
most offers of quality. You must do
your work a little better than your
competitor if you wish to win in the
business world"
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-12-12
Christmas Trees Hang Upside Down In Naples;
Bars Of Yellow Soap and Feathers for Gifts
3D.
Rene Bach

d5 How Santa Claus frightened the Africans
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-12-12

ARE tired iv amachoor orators, an, IN
nex' step will be to hire thralheu
sDeakers to help us digest our VlILles
lust the same as we hire thralned mu-
SiG .Tbere is an OF sayin' that amy
bodv who can speak well can sing.
Nobody Wud iva think " asklh mt
or Roger Sullivan to sing. Thin WHY
says !, shud they ask US 10 spgdh9i
No sir. at bankits iv tn future, Whl1
he coffee has come on an IN Boou
Fellows ARE jugglin' with tn pussy,
caffeys. tn chairman viii ger up an
say, Now, gintlemen' If ye VIII De 50
good as to remain silent sintor BY,
ridge will obIige with a tenor Speech
An tn handsome young sinltor VIII
stem firm behind a screen, ask IN lead
er FIR tn key iv G sharp an IaunCn
his high notes on tn threaty WIN
An after all what is an orator but
4 kim iv MUSICIAN or potter IneIe .
no form iv amusement that L IKE pet
ter afther a weeks hard wurruk thln
- y 90 to a picnic in Downer's Grove,
an be Iulled to dreams or excited 70
a firmly by an grafton firm a goo9
orator. I've heerd 0rations that L cuo
do a two-step to- an nanny a time
have I gone home hummin bits out "
A. speech on tn tariff to mesilf-
9TH night I heerd Willum Jennings
Rrvan's cross-iv-goOld speech / WlnL
over to Hogan's house an picked OUT
m GnuuE Will Wall AA5 ~" -
NANNY. It was that musical. Ivry
great orator ought to be
led be an Orchesthry or, at worst a
pianist who Wud play trills WhlIe IN
artist was retreshln hinlSllI WIN e
glass " ice wather. I don't think IN
Chat-talky people know how 10 adNeIZ-
tfse their headliner. If I was thin I'd
put out bills like this;
OnparaIeld Attractions,
At Odd Fellows Hall
"Choosdah night will be prisinted
this mammoth array iv Onheard iv
CELEBRITIES:
Tn Hivenly Endowed Childher "
Orfeus,
TIL Swiss YOdellers
In their nerve-shattrin' an heart
desthroyin' speciality
Zeke an Cy
W~urruld's Champeen Wood Choppers
EsteIIe-Th' Observation-Disclosures
Thrick Bicycle Riders.
"Th' whole dazzlin' an megatheryal
display to close with tn first appear
ance in this city iv.
Tn Greatest iv Nachral Orators
William Jennings Bryan
who will render his cillybrated barry
tone solo. TIL Prince iv Peace (ac-
companied on tn piccOlo be Professor
woodrow Wilson,. n. B.-Misther
Bryan is TIL only Twin barytone VINO
can reach high c without standin' on
his toes.
Admission: Gents, wan dollar; gents
accompanied be ladies'. Wan-fftyi
childher, twenty-five cents. Infants IN
ar-rums or out iv thin not admitted
at amy price.
I'VE haven't been fair to orators in
tn past. We've been so thrilled be
these great artists that we've taken
thin away firm their career an put
thin into government jobs, maxim
| mere dhrudges iv thin whin they
might betther be out in tn wurruld
softenin' tn hearts iv men with their
mellow notes. Maxim Willum Jen-
nings BRYAN sicrety iv state is like
goin' to Paddyrisky an saying: We've
been so enthralled be ye'er PLAINLY
! playin' that we've decided to make We
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-12-12

win forget YOU II you drop out OF the
Iimelight for a moment. You can't al
ford to rest, when IL comes to advertts-
ing. Systematic advertising. even IN
the smallest way. is q constant re-
hinder AID
Kecna You In tae Limelight.
Ready Reference Directory
Phone ass,
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-12-12

civilian Jennings Bryan comm out on tn platform
with a ianial smile on his face an a tunin' fork in his
hand to give tn most precyous " Of folk songs: In tn
banks iv OF Wall Sthreet far away"
n sayl4' " Hai St t6sf hu P8 S%s t Gb% RS B BPP 8 t9k a. an 5 s9 did on Snq MS Ps99s
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-12-12
OnparaIeld Attractions,
At odd Fellows Hall.

"Cboosdah night will be prisinted
this mammoth array iv onheard Nv
CELEBRITIES:
Tn HivenIy Endowed Childher "
Orfeus,
TIL Swiss YOdellers
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-12-12

FstelIe-Th' Observation-Disclosures
Thrick Bicycle Riders.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-12-12

9TH whole dazzlin' an megatheryal
display to close with tn first appear
ance in this city tv
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-12-12

Tn Japanese Jugglers
In their nerve-shattrin' an heart
d~esthrOyin' speciality
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-12-12
4 RemnrknbIe DistrlbutlOn.

Christmas gift distributions, however,
was one in which Uncle Sam h1mSelL
played the part of Santa Claus, in 1852
the beneficiaries of what was IN Ell
feet q missionary enterprise being GER
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-12-12

word advertising comes
from the old Greek term which
means to call attention to- and
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1914-12-12

Zeke an Cy
Wurruld's Champeen Wood Choppers
Sharp County record., 1914-04-24
Edwards
Nero. 60.

of Poinsett county should be
brought before the committee also,
but this the committee refused to
do. The poll books and tally sheets
were found to be correct.
Very few people will ever know
positively whether or not fraud
was perpetrated in Poinsett county
A great many people will always
believe there was, because that
county has given the best grounds
for believing such a thing,
If the returns were padded" in
that county one can easily see why
the supporters of Senator Clarke
would not want the official lict Of
voters brought before the commit
tee, for the reason that only by the
use of the official list OF voters
could it be established that the re-
turns were padded"
The fight promises to be a warm
one before the state convention,
but It seems to be the concensus
of opinion that Senator Clark will
control that body and win there
also,
In connection with the senatorial
race II Is interesting to know that
Senator Clarke carried 36 counties,
while judge Kirby carried 80.
Sharp County record., 1914-04-24
JUDGE KIRBY LOSES
BEFORE COMMITTEE
Has Appealed His Contest
To The Democratic State
Convention.

Senator James P. Clarke won out
before the democratic state central
committee last week, that body de-
clarine him the nominee for United
States Senator by a majority Of 213
votes
Judge Kirby will carry the con-
test to the state convention, which
meets at Pine Bluff early in June.
The supporters Of Senator Clarke
controlled the state central COM
mittee by a large majority. 1t
seemed that Judge Kirby's support
ers on the committee numbered
not more than half dozen, and
this number was unable to score a
point,
Judge Kirby brought his contest
before the committee on the ground
that fraud had been perpetrated in
the interest Of Senator Clarke In
poinsett county. Our readers are
now familiar with the manner In
which that county delivered It's vote
first reporting certain majority
for Senator Clarke, and later, when
Judge Kirby took the lead In the
race, reporting a much larger ma.
jority for Senator Clarke and giving
him the nomination on the face Of
the returns II Is q fact, too, that
the last report Of the returns from
Poinsett makes that county poll
more votes In the democratic pri-
mary than It has qualified voters.
Judge Kirby asked the committee
for an investigation Of the vote In
Poinsett county, but the committee
only ordered the poll books and
tally sheets from that county
brought before It, Judge Kirby In.
sisted that the official list Of voters
Sharp County record., 1914-04-24
And Thi, Is Forming Too

James r. Helm and Tom Felts
were over from Sage township first
of the week with q load Of produce,
which found a ready market, Mr.
Helm brought in four hams, the
total weight Of which was 100 IL
pounds and netted him SIS, and
100 pounds Of lard, which sold loI
SIS. Mr. Felts sold ll5 pounds Of
side meat and 10 bushels Of peas
receiving therefor $325O,--Mel-
bourne Times,
Sharp County record., 1914-04-24

Some men in this state are an
nouncing themselves as candidates
Tor office two years hence. They
ought to be hanged by the toes.
600
The partisans of jeff Davis never
had to steal any votes. When jeff
Davis was a candidate there was
scarcely ever any votes left over to
take.
600
Il The editor of the Stuttgart Ar
kansawyer goes a good deal on ap-
)earances. He declares he just
ant keep from judging people by
heir back yards.
!. 900
There is to be another wedding
d the White House soon. Of
,ourse you've noticed that the
Wilson's find no anti-marriage
flank in the democratic platform.
900
| Many Of the newspapers are ear
IIlestly urging now that we all swat
be fy. On looking about we don't
lee him, but it is agreed that the
work Of annihilation must begin on
irst sight.
900
The Pocahontas Times remarks
l.hat It isn't altogether bashfulness
hat prevents many a man from
Meeting his obligations. Some
Times, not always, however, it's
,a,ussedness.
oSsA& 900
u Andrew Carnegie makes the
tatement that it is a disgrace for a
man to die rich. 1t is much feared
hat Mr.. Carnegie is going to be a
little under a cloud" when he gets
way from here if he doesn't begin
D distribute faster.
M 600
: In beginning an address before
Sln assemblage Of women at Little
sock a few days ago Federal Judge
" !" Iacob Trieber said Fellow Citizens.
ind that was no slip Of the unruly
member either. Judge Trieber be-
eves in all the two words imply.
no
"a, 900
}. In publishing table Of the vote
pr circuit judge the Melbourne
lines gives James A. Watson
,77S votes OF course that was a
'Sistake in type, but those figures
1robably represent very accurately
he number of votes Watson hoped
70 yet.
N 900
t. The Arkansas Gazette calls at
ention to the interesting fact that
h the year 1919 only a few more
-han a thousand votes were polled
Sharp County record., 1914-04-24

Green Brown, clerk In d store at
Holmes, Randolph county, while
apparently In the best Of health,
was stricken by apopleSy one day
last week, his death resulting In q
few hours,