The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26
KITCHEN WRANCLES
By The Baron

For sale-A few tons of radium; ten
eats the ton; Apply to Butct
Why not Sunkist tobacco. | didna her
ye, SheariOck, wee bit louhe' LAUDER
,addle-J avn.
A red headed man With a red beak a,r.v-
Ing at KedwIng, would form another 10
cund syloglsm. What no.
Observation-Disclosures asyruprarceiptnimy
akiot-NOt Russian, It's the language OF
Uncle Samuel. Read it Chinese fashion.
When yous geeks are full of Toiky Bold
an eat mince PIE until youse s,rangies, SIT
OH yer char an smoke yer pipe; den READ
der kitchen wrangles, Frosty.
We dthyramblc garcons tend to be satir-
ical during the dlurnal swab, saponaceous
bubbles like mines IN the North Sea seem to
llqu,ry and reiuvenate.-Ask Mr.. Plante.
Approved list of honors-Generals>im
Batch, +. y. L. K. r. H; Fellow of the
Royal Pig Hunt. Aid -de-camp; lawn,
q. |. c +. Z. Garcon in Chief; Pre-
mler COntrovertialIst. Commandant,
SAxo George; M B. A. S S. Member
oi anti Swearing League.
Shorty, the liliputian COOK. is irving out
An invention. He Calls it the ''Kuukem-
shurenoush:' IN similarity to the s,ethU-
scope; you place 1t in The ear. Say, for
Instance. you are cooking beans, you can
hear 'em rattle around the caidron until
tney rattle no more. They are ready for
the taole. he theatrical lobster would
trantlcalIy yell: "Enuf, McDutf, I've had
enuf!
Jawhn, the complaisant, pragma,ic and
modern genius, prOmscuouSiy produces an
elaborate lnventiOn IN the form OF coat
hanger. a S.x-iOot garcOn has to stand on
uptoe to hang his coat on the hook, Shorty,
the cook, has TO stand on lie Chef head
to accomplish this maneuver. lie Chef
says some things in F ench every time
Shorty hangs his coat up. IL is rumored
that the Gum Snoe Lancers have challenged
the Russian Ballet to a pirouete dance
Butch has been appointed pima donna
The DEPENDENTS story is as follows"
began the Lawyer. III. was at the Lyceum
testing an experiment where the plaintiff
was lying around; tina defendant wen
nome and picked up his Tyre that was lying
on the what-not. The rlain,if took a can
Of lye and threw it on the Tyre, At this
point the lawyer began to lie on one side OF
the affair, then he lied on the other. The
iye that hit the Tyre fell upor the library
carpet. 81 feel indlsposed;" said the
lawyer, SO l will lie down for few mo-
ments, in the meantime 1 will turn the
lights low. ''But, said his H. uor ''you
seem to throw no light ON the subject, Try
and I,ven things up The lawyer who
did lie down, sud nothing for he ly
| ing sill .-Sentrnce-Lite!
Said the obnoxious Frosty in his travest,
| 10 Duke: "Youse look like de guv wot
| used ter rasten his hat with safety pin to
MS ear on a windy day. | mind der time
when he threw his tnm-cat overheard an
when he got home der Cat wor fast asleep
IN der geek S chair He wor SO overcome
wild remorse. dat he gave der Cat his sup
per and went on der water wagon. his nose
wor So red dat dey gave him Job on fer.
| ry-boar; he used ter Sit IN der front of de-
boat an act as search l,ght-''Shust min
MT, Frosty,' beamed the delighted roba. co
Nnew; der pussy cat 1t vas, mt a pin he
did tasten der gerks ear ven he ashleeb
vas, SD red iss nose vas he in der yater fell
NIT der wagon, der geek teller 1t vas he dit
der pussy cats dinner eat, der search lghd
It vass who on dr. boats dit sitter er. :"
gabbied the pure Tobacco maker; "some
more rodden chokes will listen to no,
again.