Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1914-06-21
A Bit o. Nonsense
HOMAGE.

Homage.
Should a man go down on his
knees before a woman these days?"
Seems to be considered the cor
rect thing In shoe-tore circles"
Her Rival.
what became OF that talking ma
chine you had?"
Had to get rid of it; it made my
wife jealous"
Ito Business Settlement.
"Dew Is moisture, isn't it,"
"Of course"
"\Vhen moisture is due, then, do
they collect 1t in messy banks?"
A Cacaphonous Error.
Hark! Somebody's playing a bit
from Richard Strauss"
mo, it amt; it's a ton of coal be-
ing dumped next door,"
Her Equals.
Heck-DOes your wife always get
the last word?
Peck-Not always; she talks with
Not Natural.
What is an amateur, Bobby
queried his small sister.
"An amateur replied Bobby, Us
anything that isn't nature
Human Nature.
"How long have you been dancing
the tango?" -...
"Ever since it. was forbidden
B!aetter.
Sure!
Sunday School "Teacher-Con you
tell me who dwelt in the garden of
Little May-Yes, ma'am-the Adam
ses.
Saves Money, Too. r!
Scott-How is it, that you never 90
away during your summer vacations?
Mott don't need to. Most of the
horses leave town and in their alb
sence l have q grand, restful time.
Slow Thinker.
Mrs. Flatte-Wait, dear, until l
Mr.. Flatte-1 can't wait as long as
that! I've got an engagement day af-
ter tomorrow.
Poor Consolation.
whats your hurry, Mr.. Ruralrite.
Your turn is next"
~ have to drive ten miles before
well, never mind, that growth on
your cheeks will keep you warm"
QuietnesS Disturbed Rest.
Skids-We are off to spend a nice
quiet holiday in the mountains.
Skittles-Why the gramophone and
skids-Oh, just Ito break the horri-
BILE stiffness Of the evenings.
What Poetry-Does For Us.
The Bore-Do You know, Tenny-
sons poems carry me completely
away.
Miss Pert-Really! I'm awfully
sorry We haven't a volume in the
house. K
Could Rattle Tinware.
A young lady called n day on
the great pianist, who had
consented to listepato her playing.
What do you think I should do
now?" she asked when she had finish
ed.
Get married." was the answer.
A New Definition.
In the lesson mention had been
made of the cant hook that is used
In rolling logs.
"Can you tell me what a cant hook
is, Tommy" asked the teacher.
"Sure," replied Tommy. cts a
COW that hasn't any horns"
A Different Matter.
"Plan1ed your vacation YETI"
eyes, last winter"
"When do you start?"
That's another matter. My plans
depneded on my having the money
that l thought l would have at this
time, but haven't" !
20 Time and Changed"
InQuisitive PersOn-What are the
wedding anniversaries?
Society Actress (somewhat IN
noyed)-How absurd'y out of date
you are! You should let such triv-
ial matters rest and join me in max
ing up a set of divorce anniversaries.
Christian Counsel.
Little Sister-Oh, mamma, Georgia
has just upset the tea table an brok'
en- my dolly an all your nee dishes.
Little Brother Gladly frightened)-
Yes, mamma, an let's be sorry, but
don't let's be mad!-Harper's.
Two Regrets.
81 s'pose John Is still takin' life
easy?" said the woman in the train.
"Yes," answered the woman who
was carrying a bundle of clothes,
"John has only got two regrets in life.
One is that he has to wake up and
eat, an the other is that he has to
"a, 49, a