The Washington herald., 1914-03-01

. anyways idte
week ago happened to be one of those care
less Travellers marooned in Splashburg, and having
wicked hour or two to kill strolled over the Com
mercial House
Steb Stephens is the of the head clerk at
The Commercial House in Splashburg. Steb has been
throwing keys at the wall for long time and he
knows how to burn the beefers
He played the Big Time once Yes, years ago
he bell hop at the old Willard in Washington,
and after that he jumped to Chicago night porter
Rt the old Sherman House. so what Steb doesn't know
lbout the hotel business isn't worth whimpering
Steb gave me. brief outline of mis- 1ife's history
and just starting tell about the battle in
the Civil War in which his father was shot and who
shot him when feverish old party with Persian rug
trimmings on the end of mis- chin squeezed up and
began TO let peep out of him about the pie he had
eaten for dinner.
Calm yourself, said Smiling steb. "and tell
where II bit you"
"Bit mel Bit mer' snarled' the Old Party with
the tapestry chinpece Nothing of the kind sir!
you know, sir that your pie isn't fit cat sr
"Cut it out" suggested Steb
Cut it out, sir! How can l cut II out when I've
eaten it, sir? It's outrage and I shall leave this
hotel tomorrow" said Omar Khsyyam
with the exception of s3I72, balance due that
will be about all from you," said Steb.
I'll the proprietor" said the Old Party, mov-
ing away Win on MIN ike 1Our QOllarS IN DAD
money
1--WE get it good and plenty every day. said Steb,
and Just then something about six feet tall wearing
slouch hat and gilt mustache fell against the
ter grabbed the register and buried stub pen in
pages.
After looking over the result | decided the
strangers first be Spider because it looked
ike one on the register
"Bath?" queried Steb.
Only during a hot wave" said Spider.
Steb went to the ropes, but he came up smiling
as usual
American European" asked Steb.
Neither said Spider Don't you see I'm from
Jersey City," ~
Going to be with us long," inquired Steb.
Say, Bub. you're wearing medals for asking ques-
ions. now amt you?" answered Spider You just
push me into stall and lock the gate. I'm tired"
Front! Show this gentleman to 4oI' said Steb,
iidestepping avoid punishment
Then Sweet William, the Boy Drummer, hoped
MO the ring for the next round.
Willie peddles pickles for the fun he gets out of it
St is Willie's joy and delight to get gnger-ale
and recte "Ostler Joe"
When trained down TO o5 fiat Willie can get up
and beat the clapper off "Curfew Shall Not Ring To-
night
When Willie gets strangle hold on "Sheridan's
Ride" you can hear hozses galloping outside.
It's the rest of the community getting of
larms way
Amy MALL" inquired Willie
All the mail that Willie ever gets is postal card
rom the pickle factory every two weeks asking him
the people along his have all lost their appe
;itcs
No literature for you" Steb answered.
Strange" said Willie, my lady friends very
-emiss aren't they?"
Yes; it looks like they were out to drop you be-
hind the piano" said Steb
Willie tore off short rabbit laugh and then in
quired what time the train left for New York.
The pickle factory expects Willie to make POGO
moke City, Squashtown junction. and Nubbinsville be-
fore next Sunday so he tossed the train gag just
show Steb that he knew there's place called New
York.
AT Jas over the D. L. & O." said Steb.
What's the next" inquired Willie
AT 8:Io over the H. B. & NJ" Steb answered.
(Which gets there irst?" Willie asked.
The engineer sighed Steb.
"Oh, you drolI chap" said the pickle-pusher
give me some tooth-picks."
Then Sweet William went over 20 the big win
low, burrowed into chair, stuck his feet up on the
brass rail- ate tooth-picks, and thought he 1T.
When 1 got back TO Steb he was dealing out the
tards TO d lady from Reading Pa.
Her husband had been up in the air with bum
automobile, and when he down he was several
sections shy.
They found monkey wrench mbedded in his left
shoulder which he couldn't remember using when he
tried to FIX the machine.
She was travelling for his health.
My room is Immediately over the kitchen" she
informed Steb
The cook hasn't made kick up to now,' Steb
vent back at her.
But they've been frying onions ever since we took
he room yesterday afternoon" she snapped.
'Yes, madam" chortled Smiling Steb. This is
ocal-option town, and the onion is the only pickle
that's allowed to appear in public
She started get-back, but her indignation choked
1er so she gave Steb the Society sting with both eyes
md founced out.
Steb bit the end off penflolder and said the rest
internally.
Just then couple of troupers trailed in.
They were with the Bandits Bride Co.," and the
Eay had been long and weary.
t1What have you got-double?" asked the villain