Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1914-05-07
A Football of
Fate
1t Was Kicked Into
Many Holes
By F. A. mitchell

Of a football of fate as any man who
ever lived. Bill was kicked all over
the world. He began as a cabin boy
IN a ship fitted out for relief of north
pole expedition and spent some time
,mong the Eskimos. Next he was in
he heart of Africa trading in ivory
At twenty-five he had made lot Of
money and thought he would stay at
ZONE and enjoy himself; but, like Sind
rad the Sailor, he soon grew tired Of
quiet and embarked on another vov-
ige.
He bought vessel and stocked her
with cotton goods, such as are used
Countries with warm climates, and
started for Asia. intending to exchange
hem for silks and other goods used in
,imerica, but was wrecked in ty-
phoon off the coast of Ceylon and had
nothing left but the dripping clothes
in which he was thrown upon the
shore
China. He didn't seem to do much
planning, or, if lie did, fate paid no at
tention to his plans, but kept on kick
ing him, and he kept on rolling. Like
an ordinary ball. he occasionally got
into hole where it looked as If he
would remain and rot. But he was
always kicked out and recommended
ais bounding and rolling both over the
and and the sea.
| In Picking he found an old, wheezy
steamer of about 200 tons burden that
had been worn out tramping over the
waters, and he concluded to buy her
Where he got the money does not ap-
pear, but the probability is that her
| owner was so anxious to get her off
his hands that he was glad to take
Bills note for the amount of the pur-
.hase secured on mortgage. The new
| owner did what he could by way of
repair and started down the Peitang
liver for the gulf of Pechili
| What Bill was going to do with his
IL wouldn't be interesting to follow his
intentions, because he never succeeded
in carrying anything out.
Captain Somers on this voyage down
the river and across the gulf had with
him al English engineer. Tom Hooper
by name, and a heather Chinee deck
nand whose name, was so unpro-
nounceabe that he was obliged to sub
nit to the conventional, English name
Charlie. Charlie. like most China
men, seemed very stupid. but also, like
his countTymen, was very sly. AS for
the engineer, he was as obstinate as
Englishmen usually are and as hard to
kill.
Captain Somers and his crew passed
lout of the gulf between Port Arthur
and Tengchau, rounded Shantung and
found themselves in the Yellow sea.
Quite probably they were going to ia
tpan, but this doesn't matter. for be-
fore reaching the coast of Korea Som
ers got kick which sent him in an
other direction.
About noon, when Bill was at the
wheel-indeed, Bill was always at the
wheel, and Tom was always at the
engine-he heard something snap be-
low and a fixing of steam. Up came
Tom, showed his face In the companion
way and said that one of the small
steam pipes had burst. Meanwhile the
propeller ceased to turn, and the boat
the Siren. lay helpless. Why Bill had
given her that name is beyond compre-
hension, for she was the ugliest craft
in Chinese waters.
Leaving the tiller, Bill went below
with the engineer, and the two stood
gaping at the exploded pipe, wonder.
ing how they We're going to repair il
without tools or machinery. Bill had
congratulated himself on being able to
buy the Siren without cent of money
but now saw how, after ALL the sellel
had got the better of him.
However Tom hunted through box
of odds and ends and found a bit OF
pipe that he thought he could pat in il
place of the exploded one, and there
was soldering jet aboard. But il
was necessary to put out the fires il
the furnace before anything could bt
done. Bill concluded to dump" the
furnace. since it would be easier t.
l llSuJ IL new lie IL lTceu Juc le
mains of the old one. SO they follow
ed this plan, and Tom began work OF
replacing the broken pipe.
Tom had been working some time
Bill had gone into the furnace, which
had cooled sufficiently to admit him t.
make an inspection. The Siren wa
drifting. Suddenly Charlie came run
ming down into the furnace room, witt
his eyes standing out Of his face ant
his complexion the color Of cinders
Bill looked out through the open fur
mace door.
"Cap'n,' gasped Charlie, "pilates!"
"What?"
''Pilates"
cit on O. this" grewled Ton
Were bus ""
Charlie wrung his hands and contir
ued to cry "Pilates!'
II wonder if he doesn't mean %
rates?" cried Bill.
Eyes" cried Charlie; "piIates!"