Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1914-04-29
The Meddler
"Jf the coat fits you, put 1t on''

Keep the lights going on our little
park. They add much to the looks and
cheeriness of the town after dark. = *
Comingu up to the money order win
dow a patron of the office asked the
postmaster to fill out money order.
Getting to the space to be filled in
with the amount for which the order
was to be made the P. M. said, "for
how much?' The "customer" Il
didn't hear of what house, said in
whisper, "Just two quarts.
In view of the fact that we don't
have cyclones, earthquakes or poker in
Barton and our listers use some reason,
invite such Westerners as the follow
ing gentleman to make their abode
here:
'Whose horse went dead and his mule
went lame
And he lost his cow in poker game,
And cyclone came on summer day
And blew the house where he lived
away.
Then an earthquake came when that
was done
And swallowed the ground that the
house stood on
Then the tax collector, he came round.
And charged him up with a hole in
the ground.''
The 1914 number plate was not on.
Offence No. l.
The Meddler considers it part of
his business to correct the awful names
he hears given the so-called president of
Mexico. The correct pronunciation of
the name sHuerta is Where-tah and
the rebel chief, Villa, is Vee-ah. Don't
let me hear about Hew-erta again.
81 want pair of fancy trousers for
Dress" said dandy young chap to one
of our clothiers. For dress. eh,''
meditated the clothier, "-er. where
do you expect to wear tnem." The
young fellow. being somewhat fustrat-
ed by the presence Of ladies, replied,
''Why, -er, right where I'm wearing
these, SIR
There are one Or two Canadian i'm
migration officials operating on trains
in this vicinity that the Canadian
government would be better off with
out. Both aIe said to be comparative
ly new men, and appointed through
official pail. They operate by rules
only. AS ExPresident Tuttle of the
Boston & Maine railroad said when
parties waited upon him with a COM
, plant regarding certain rules: THAT
rule is all right but can't make
: brains to execute it with" One of
these gentlemen's initials are Barnet
! and he makes himself obnoxious to the
5 travelling public by asking questions
: withOlt his jurisdiction and arbitrarily
: enforcing rules over which there is
question. He sets his doubling ignor-
ance aboYe the word of professional
knowledge to the extent of forcing
sick people, who seek relief in Cana
dian hospitals of a few days duration
. only, off his train into the storm at
moments notice. The passing of
,, immigration and customs regulations
is trial at best but such oficiousness
,, is intolerable. That a superior officer.
, whose initials are Gangras, should
back such things up is still more to be
wondered at and puts the whole Cana
dian immigration service on low
basis by observant citizens of the U.
S. A. .-
am told that the young lady across
the way recently asked her mother
before dressing for a certain party
whether she should wash her neck for
a high or low collar.
Ophelia says. "Cheer up. beauty liz
nuthin but skin game
A gentleman who uses electric cur
rent and pays for it, recently re-
marked to the Meddler that he thought
it "-- curious that we have to be
without lights every time stiff wind
comes up" That makes me wonder if
the powers that be could not give this
matter their serious attention. There
must be some remedy.
The Duck Pond Road Philosopher
says: ''There is tew kinds O. fools.
Them that knows it and them that
don't. I seen both kinds in Barton.
The fel1er that knows he's fool does
no one no damage and is usually an
easy character ter get along with. but
the feller what's fool an don't know
it. is like balky mule, wuth more
dead than I alive. Especially if he
(sometimes she) carries considerable
life insurance.
| don't like the idea of the women
folks cracking any jokes on folks in
that mock trial. They might get some
one riled up. That ought to be left
entirely to me. That reference to
new line of hair goods was downright
mean. it was.
There is young lady named Ks,
Who thinks her figure is gray 8,
R1f uyhon chos @rpdoro