Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1914-06-03
A Bit o. Nonsense
Mot ln the pictionary.

Aunt Indy had brought around her
three grandchildren for her mistress
to see. The three little darkies, in
calico smocks, stood squirming while
Lindy proudly surveyed them. .
what are their names, Lindy?" her
mistress asked. ....'
"Dey's name after flowers, ma'am.
All name 'em. De bigges' ones name
Gladiola. De mex one, she name He
%liotrope." ~.
Those are very pretty" her mis-.
tress said. What is the Titles one
named?"
"she name Artuhfcial, ma'am."
ObIi9ing.
A woman with a shawl Oyer her
head entered a butcher shop where
there were a good many different
grades of meat and began looking
over some pieces piled on the cOun-
ter and marked, "Choice bits" The
butcher fastened over and said:
II am selling those cheap today,
madam, only 2 cents apiece
The woman shook her head. TOO
high" she said.
Zone cent, then,' the butcher ven.
tured.
Still the woman hesitated.
well, then, when I'm not lookin
suppose you just take EN-"
Time Wasted.
A salesman was recently advised
by a brother ambassador of commerce
to call on a certain tradesman with
whom he had an account. He took
the hint, called on the man and was
received most genially.
May l show you my samples?" in
quired the salesman.
The tradesman did not object, and
from an insignificant looking bag the
traveller produced quite a surprising
quantity of specimen goods.
WELL" said the affable shopkeep-
er, when the bag was at last emptied,
there's only one thing l want todav."
Out came the order book.
Thank you, Mr." remarked
the salesman, delighter at opening a
new account. "and what is that?" w.
Why was the reply, II want to
see how you're going to get all those
samples into that little bag again."
A. Round About Definition.
what is a phenomenon" asked
enc workman of another.
Its like this. Suppose you were
to go out into the country and see
a field Of thistles growing" #'.'
"Yes."
"Well, that would not be a phe-
nomenca."
"No. that's quite clear" agreed the
other man.
But suppose you were to. see a
lark singing away up in the sky"
Eyes,"
"well that would not be a phe-
nomenon." -, -
"No. that also seems clear"
But imagine there is a bull in the
field"
YES"
Even that would not be a phe-
nomenon."
mo"
"But, now, Bill, look here. Sup
pose you saw that bull sitting on
them thisles whistling like a lark
we'll, that would be a phenomenon"
Bulk Caused Depreciation.
They had been married for some
little time and it seemed to her that
his love had grown cold.
"You used to tell me-" she COM
planned, that l was worth my weight
IN gold"
but you must remember that you
didn't weigh more than half as much
as you do now"
...r,t-- Profligate.
A woeful waste of Roman coin is
thus deplored:
1key, Jr. (fresh from school)-Fad-
err, ven Caesar won a battle vOnce,
he chust wrote "veli, vidi, vici' in
his message to Rome.
key. Sir.-Ach, such a fool-and
he could have sent seven words
more for his quarter. a..
UNUSUALLY INTERESTING DIS.
., PLAYS.
Webb Brothers have in their win.
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found a most realistic setting of a
camp with an artistically arranged
confusion of requests for the camper
and vacatidnist. In the furniture
window may be seen suggestions for
the June bride with a most beautiful
arrangement of high grade furniture.