The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1914-10-01


L. A. Trowbridge, the man behind
the Canyon canal during its construc-
ton period, arrived today from Chi
caeo to look after his large land in
terests here.
"Your chickens have been over the
fence and scratched my garden" com
planned Bill to his neighbor. "Well,"
replied the neighbor, there's nothing
extraordinary in that It's their ma
ture to scratch. Now, if your garden
were to come over the fence and
scratch my fowls it would be extraor-
binary and something worth commun-
icating."
A years subscription to The Index
viii be given to the first person who
sends in a correct answer to the fol-
lowing problem: "If it takes four
months old woodpecker, with rub
Der bill, months and 13 days to peck
a hole through fir log that is big
enough to make seven shingles
it takes f65 shingles to make bum
die worth SO cents, how long will it
take cross-eyed grasshopper, with
cork leg, to kick all the seeds out
of dill pickle?
Women who embroider viii feel the
effects of the war. D. NJ c. en-
broidery floss, without which the wo-
men who embroider are lost, has ad-
vanced twenty per cent and the pros
pect is that it viii soon be off from
the market. The floss is manufac-
tured Belgium, and the German SOL
diers burned the factory. An Emmett
woman heard the price would advance
and bought 81 worth before it began
to soar.
peculiar things occur to doctors"
said one of them the other day. For
instance, a man became very i'll, and
called for me. l found him writhing
in pain, and it looked like a serious
case of acute appendicitis. 1 thought
an operation was necessary at once
But to play safe I called in another
doctor, and he said the same thing.
But the patient said he would not
permit an operation, and, by jacks, an
hour later he became better and went
to work the next morning. He prob
ably now considers that doctors don't
know much, are reckless about per-
forming operations, and should be
hanged. But, honest to goodness, if
ever an operation seemed urgent it
seemed urgent in his case. 1t is such
circumstances that make some people
distrust doctors. In other words, if
the doctors judgment seems at fault
in one case, no one gives him credit
for striking the right diagnosis in 40
cases"
"There is one thing that a sensible
man who lives long in this country
will learn to do and that is to keep
his mouth shut when he is facing the
wind, especially when it blows like it
did last Friday" remarked Old Bill
Misgivens. Il have known men who
shortened their lives because they
didn't remember that. There was Zeke
Bascomb. He was a little sawed-of
man who naturally didn't weigh more
than hundred and twenty pounds.
But Zeke had a fool habit of going
with his mouth hanging open like
cellar door, no matter whether he was
facing the wind or not After while
Zeke commenced to complain that he
didn't feel we'll Said that he had
sort of heavy feeling. He tried
lot of patent medicine, but it didn't
help him any and finally he took to his
bed and died. When they came to put
him in his coffin they were astonished
to find that his body weighed $50
pounds. Nobody could understand
it and the doctor asked Zeke's widow
if she would have any objections to
an autopsy. She said she wouldn't
as she had some considerable curiosity
to know why Zeke hefted so much
herself. Well, when they come to cut
Zeke open, the doctor broke every
knife he had in his kit Then he dis
covered that the trouble with Zeke
was he had gone around facing the
wind with his mouth open till he had
got filed UP with sand and gravel. His
whole system had become filed with
grit till he weighed nearly as much
as if he had been dug out of stone
quarry. That was the reason the doc
tor could not make any impression
with the surgeons knife. He had to
go at him with a drill and stick of
blasting powder. His wife said after
the autopsy that she understood now
why Zeke had said to her before ne
died that he felt pretty rocky"