Grand Forks daily herald., 1914-12-31
Evening Hash
BY Bon

\ Near Tragedy.
Since the burning of part Of the
DeMers avenue bridge. Tipperary isn't
the only place that's noted for its
There's East Grand Forks, for in
stance. Geographically speaking, the
village, of course, is no greater dIs-
tance than heretofore, but the ways of
getting there are rundabout, and, un-
| der some conditions, are rather dan
gerous to travel.
We got across safely. The tin on
the railroad track was slippery. but
We cared not for that, for our tootsies
were we'll shod. our eye was steady
| and we wobbled not a bit in the knees.
Once across, we forgot about the
burned bridge and the difficulties Of
travel.
Eleven o'clock came, as all eleven
o'clocks are bound to do. Arm in arm
| We started down DeMers avenue, but a
red light halted us.
Shafts RI Bo.'' said Jawn. There
wazh fire here otha day and bridge
| wazh burn down."
"Shat's nothin'. l member fire
onesh--
Come on. YOU two stiffs! Get
agoin' or I'll slough youse."
All ri mizzer off'ser. Wesh ony
lampln ruins. We like ruins, like
stan round an look at 'em"
mugs!"
| We moved; unsteadily. TO be sure,
| but moved nevertheless.
Finally, the railroad bridge was
| reached. Twas dark. but We started
| across. When in the middle of the
| thing, we heard a train toot-ooh.
| what an awful toot.
shay you ole ga--gazook Shee
zat train comm. "1t was my part
Shay nothin' tall now, shir Eat
train won't hurt tall"
| Inc train was coming on rapidly.
! We placed ourselves in the center of
the track and did a scare crow dance.
| Shay, mizzer train. Shtop, please.
Shere's little boy with me and l
promish mother bring him back safe
| ly.''
"shtop Eat You fool! You'll ge,
.,Mizzer train! Shtop i shay!
Won't shtop hay? Well dom care.
Come on shtrike me you dare"
1t did! Full in the front. l went
upwards. and yet again upwards
Shay john I'm way up above
Get out life net pleazh, for I'm comm
down!"
oo'n idileu' L nit the Ice, and the
next thing knew the cold water was
playing about my body. A fish or two
rambled UP to give me the once over
and then departed disgustedly.
| Soon, my journey ended! | seemed
to be at gate. Thoughts Of st. peter
| came to me.
| Can get cushion and score card
from the boy:" inquired. :
"Gwan, you nut! This amt the
~ cot
@ yours and move in. Step lively
too, or Ill crack your dome.''
In 1 went. There was naught else
to do. The air seemed vitiated.
| tried to go back, but couldn't. There
was big crowd at my back, shovins
| me on,
Presently, page in red moved. to.
ward me.
This way, please" he said. I fol.
ter and hotter. l chucked off my
overcoat, and rambled on behind tils
page. My collar now rested limpiv an
my damp shirt. l wanted drink
OF water. I asked the page for one.
water" Then pea1s of laughter
Water. you say? You'll get tireG
asking for that while your here"
All right, then. won't ask for it
Just turn on a few more radiators and
| I'll be satisfied"
We We're now at doorway. It wac
vast anair. and 1t looked foreboding
| hesitated. but the page gave me a
! JAP IN the unies and entered. was
nsnered before k:ngly sort of indi-
vidual, only he was garbed in red In
stead Of purple. He seemed to wear
horns. :" "ee'i
II bow before you, Noble King" +,
said. thought twas best to hmmor
MIN. See. Honorable Sir. saiaam
Salaam humbly nothing. On your
feet, you filbert. satan's my name.
honorable Percival Devil Satan! Get
me? What's your handle" -
"Ben., SIR -
Not the nut whose ben--no offenso