The Washington herald., 1914-07-08
Uncle Joe and His Ancient Foe.

Uncle Joe Cannon has an opponent for the Re-
publican nomination for Congress- and his opponent
is doctor. No one in Washington will be surprised
at this development in the Danvile district Uncle
Joe has been hopeless for the doctors for more
than seventy years. They have prescribed for him
and prescribed him, all to purpose He refused
to take their medicines and insisted on living after
they had consigned him to the fate of those Who stub
bornly ignore all medical authority Uncle Joe has
been on the nerves OF the doctors To- these many
years, because he has upset all the authorities on
health
There is tradition that the family doctor gave
Up Joe Cannon a chronic and confirmed dyspeptic
way back in 1860 and advised him to prepare for the
future life but the youngster instead tramped over
the bleak prares in the winter appealing to the voters
to elect him district attorney, and they did There
is historic record in the Records OF the War of the
Rebellion, that District Attorney Cannon was the
heahiest opponent of the Knights of the Golden Cir
Gle the Wabash and that other than doctors tried
TO send him to the happy hunting ground but he
them 10 the penitentiary drove them into Canada
After the war, Uncle Joe concluded that he would
like to come to Congress- but the doctors said he
certainly could not live civilized life here in the
National Capital and the doctors in Washington
were ready to take him in hand, but he, bought
bicycle and lifting machine and refused consult
the pill He contested with ex-senator 6hand-
Ter to which could make the best record of falls
from the bicycle, and with ex-senator Blair on the
lifting machine, while in the House he continued his
calisthenc exercises while engaged in debate until
he became the most hopeless optimist both as to
health and politics, that could be found in the coun-
try. The doctors gave him up immune TO all the
ills to which they were authorized to minister and
waited for Father Time to bring him to terms but at
seYentyeight he still dehes both physic and old age
The Danville doctor who has announced his can
ddacy against Uncle Joe is evidently trying another
tack in this hopeless war against the most stubborn
block of humanity in the pathway of physc, and he
will, doubt have the sympathy of all the doctors
who have left their physic at Uncle Joes door only
to have it thrown out the window. There is one sug
gestion in the doctors announcement that shows
vein of real humor That is that Uncle Joe has grown
out of touch and sympathy with the younger genera
ton This will make the doctors laugh because
no fresh graduate from medical college could be
younger than Uncle Joe.
That ought TO be an interesting campaign in the
Dahville district with a contest between pills and
perennial youth that has defed both physic and Father
Time, and is ever accompanied by black cigar which
every doctor knows is rank poison This contest will
be of interest to the whole country not so much be-
cause of the political questions involved as to demon
strate the truth of of the new medical
prohibitions of the present day. All medical men
know that the of tobacco causes high blood pres
and Uncle Joe has had his cigar at an angle of
IS degrees he faced high political pressure for half
a century. The symbols the primary ballot in |
the Danvle district will no doubt be half-burnt
cigar and pill box. =