Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1914-10-16
Tho New Fable Of the Night Given
Over IN Careiess ReveIrv

Committee on Reception.
Committee on Lights and Music.
Committee on Speakers.
Committee on Decorations.
Committee on Police protection.
Committee on First Aid to Injured.
Committee on Maynew.
Committee on Liquid Nourishment.
Each Committee held numerous
Meetings, at the Call of the Chairman,
and discussed the impending Festivi-
ties with that solemn regard for piffiing
Detail which marked the Peace Con-
ference at the Hague.
The Frollc was to be perpetrated at
Hotel famous for the number of Elec-
trio Lights.
The Hour was to be $3.50 Sharp, so
that by 6:45 four old Grads. with va
riegated Belshazzars. were massed to-
gether in the Egyptian Room trying to
fix the Date on which DR.. Milos Lobs-
quosset became Emeritus Professor of
Saracenic Phlobotomy.
Along about 1880 subcommittee
wearing Satin Badges was sent down
stairs to round up some recent Alumni
who were trying to get running
Start and 7:45 a second Detachment
was sent out to find the Rescue Party.
Finally at s o'clock the glad Throng
moved into the Main Banquet Hall,
which was a snug Apartment about the
Size OF the Mammoth Cave of Ken
lucky, done In Gold and various shades
Of Pink, to approximate the Chamber
maids Dream of Paradise. The Style
of Ornamentation was that which pre-
cipitated the French Revolution.
Beside each Plate was blonde De.
coction named in honor Of the Martini
Rife, which is guaranteed to kill at a
Distance OF 1000 Yards. The COM
pounding had been done In a Churn
early that morning and the Tempera-
ture was that of the Room, in com.
pliance with the Dictates Of Fashion.
Those who partook Of the Hemlock
were given Courage to battle with the
Oysters. These came in Sextettes,
wearing a slight ptomaine pallor. On
the goth Proximo they had said good.
bye to their Friends In Baltimore and
for Hours they had been lying naked
and choked with thirst In their little
Canoes and now they were to enter the
great Unknown. further sacrifices to
the Votaries OF Pleasure.
Luckily the Consomme was not hot
enough to scald the Thumbs OF the
iovial Stevedores who had been brought
In as Extras, so the Feast proceeded
merrily, many OF the Participants de-
voting their spare Moments to bobbing
for Olives or pulling the Twine out of
the Celery.
The Fish had French name. hav,
Ing been in the Cold Storage Bastile
for SO long. Each Portion wore heavy
Suit Of Armor. was surrounded by Ii.
brary Paste and served as Tee for
two Golf Balls billed as Pommes de
Terre.
1t was regular Banquet, SO there
was no getting away from Filet de
Bin aux Champignons. II was brought
on merely to show what an American
Cook with LumberCamp Training
could do to a plain slice OF Steer after
reading Book written by a Chef.
Next, In accordance with honored
Tradition, half-melted SNOWFALL i'm.
pregnated with Eau de Quinine.
Just about the time that the White
Vinegar gave way to the Aniline Dye,
a nut-headed Swozzie, who could get
into Matteawan without Credentials,
moved down the Line OF Distinguished
Guests asking for Autographs. His
Example was followed by $50 other
Shropshires, 30 that for the next 80
Minutes the Festal Chamber resembled
the Auditing Department OF a large
Mercantile Establishment.
During this Period the Department
OF Geology In the University was hon.
ored by the appearance OF a genuine
petrifed Quail. And the Head Lettuce
carried the Personal Guarantee of the
Goodyear Rubber Co.
Between the Rainbow Ice Cream and
the Calcareous Fromage. a member OF
the class Of '0S who could not Sing
arose and did 80.
Then each guest had to take q
Tablespoonful OF Cafe Nolr and two
Cigars selected by Farmer Student
who had promised his Mother never to
use Tobacco.
1t was now after 10 o'clock and time
to 90 Home. Those who had started
to tune up along In the Afternoon were
dying on the Vine. Others, who had
tried to catch even on tho SO Ticket
felt ns II they had been loaded with
Pig Iron. Up at the Long Table enough
Speakers to supply Chautauqua Cir
cult were feeling Of themselves to