davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
Had Themselves Photographed With
Their Heads Together.

too late that she had Dutched her
Book and backed into the wrong Pad
dock.
Fate separated the Young Couples
and many a Full Moon Debated itself
before Lib and Angie had another
chance to get away by themselves and
fill up on Oolong and cautiously exhib-
1t their Wounds.
Wilbur was a Hustler who lacked
Terminal Facilities. He was full OF
St. Vitus Activity and was always
transferring a lot Of Papers from one
Pocket to another and getting ready
to interest Capital in some Megather-
Ian Enterprise paying 20 per zen per
Annum, but somehow he never Ar
rived.
While negotiating for a Rubber
Plantation in Yucatan he would hear
about Two Million Acres waiting to
be Irrigated in Colorado, but before
he could turn on the Water he would
be lured away by the Prospect of de-
veloping some Monte Carlo PROPOSE
ton upon the Mesabe Range.
In the meantime he wore Celluloid
Collars and owed for every Round
Steak that he had carried home dur
ing the preceding Five Years.
Otis, on the Other Hand, PLAYED
nothing but Cinches. He was out for
the Pastry. 1t was not his Fault II
the Widows and Orphans who invest.
ed on his Tips all wound up as De.
partment Store Employees.
He double-crossed his Partners and
w~hipsawed his Customers and bluffed
the Courts and bulled his way into the
Strongholds of Finance.
While the q. S. Grand Jury would
be in Session, trying to get him with
the Goods, he would be motoring in
Normandy and tossing Showers of Sill
yer to the Peasantry.
Do not mistrust the Tale. for every
Buccaneer from Broad Street, N. Y,
to the st. Francis Bar at the Golden
Gate, was once a Poor Boy with Store
Clothes on his Back and Grand Lar.
ceny in his Heart.
When Angie went tt visit Lib. after
the Lapse OF Many Years, you can
Gamble that they had Some Talk to
unload.
Angie carried a Wicker Suit-Cas
costing $1.9S and her General Get-Up
was that of the Honest Creature who
may be found in any Hotel Corridor at
2 A. M. m~assaging the Mosaic Floor
with a Hot Cloth.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
lust MATTER OF DIPLOMACY
Fathers Quick Thought Saved Baby
Daughter From Being Afflicted
With Fantastic Name.

Some time ago a pretty little baby
girl arrived at a happy suburban
home and Immediately the entire fam
lily, including aunts, cousins and moth
ers-in-law, were busy selecting an ap-
propriate name. Harry" joyously
cried mother, when the father re-
turned home n evening,s"I have de-
cided on a name for a baby. We
will call her Gwendolyn." For a mo-
ment the father did a hard piece OF
thinking. The name Gwendolyn sound
ed to him like a fire whistle out OF
tune, but he knew better than openly
to oppose mother. Therefore he grew
foxy. "Gwendolyn! Gwendolyn!" he
musingly replied. Il like that a whole
lot, dear. Long before / met you ! had
a girl named Gwendolyn, and She
WHO said anything about Gwendo-
lynn" icily interjected wiley. Your
hearing must be defective. said
we will call the baby Mary, after my
mother"
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
Abe Martin on sprinq Fever.

Abe Martin, the famous Indiana
funny man, writes an amusing piece
about spring fever. Following is an
extract:
When a Teller gifts spring fever he
don't rush t. a doctor. He knows what
t. do. He knows he needs rest an
quiet. He don't pay somebuddy t tell
him t cut coffee and terbacker, an he
don't take t. his bed. He takes t a
settee or a bread box. Spring fever
don't require no dietin' an Their haint
no habits t. eliminate but workin'. II
Tiers urgent plowin' t. be done tn
patient has tn cool hours before tn
sun rounds tn K. of P. hall an after
it sinks majestic'ly behind tn tile
mill.
In a little town where you don't
have t. pay $50 for a cotton an wool
fiber business suit an $50 per month
fer one-half o a double house, with
your choice O. any three-cent wallpa
per, a Teller kin afford t. take advan
tage of spring fever."-American Mag
aZine.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
One Hundred Yearo Aao.

One hundred years ago Andrew
Jackson, the future president, was ap
pointed a major general in the United
States army, to fill the vacancy caused
by the resignation of William Henry
Harrison. The appointment was il
recognition of General Jackson's dis
tinguished services in the wal with
the Creek Indians. The Legislature 0.
Mississippi territory voted him
sword, and numerous other honors
were bestowed upon him. Genera,
Jackson, Immediately upon his ap
pointment as major general, was as
signed to the command of the Army
of the South and in July he assumed
command 1t Fort Jackson, OF the Mis-
sissippi river, about 65 miles below
New Orleans. Here he met the chiefs
of the Creek Indians, and after much
diplomacy negotiated terms of peace
known as the treaty of Fort Jackson
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24

Copyright, 1914, by the Mcclure News
paper Syndicate.)
Long time. ago, before the Indian
ball players went on the field to play,
the old men used to come to the camp
fire after dark and lift the lid of the
pot and drop something in to cook.
And while the thing in the pot was
boiling, the little boys would crowd
up close to the old men and listen to
the story of the great race between
the rabbit and the %terrapin.
1t is a very old story. and the cid
men would tell it this way.
Now, you listen close to what the
pot sings when it begins to smoke.
Can't you hear it say Mi, mi, mi, mil
Just like a rabbit when he runs so
fast and SO far that he can't go another
step and has to lie down?
We'll, in those days, the rabbit
Dragged about how fast he could run
was always Dragging. Once the deer
tried to prove that he could beat the
rabbit, and a fine pair of horns was
offered by the Great Beaver as a prize
for the winner of the race; but the
rabbit cheated, and the deer got the
horns without running the C
We'll, the rabbit Dragged so much
about how fast he could run that he
made all the animals tired. And at
last the terrapin, who never did have
much to say, got up from his seat and
said that he could beat the rabbit
running. That made the rabbit laugh
SO hard that finally he had to roll over
on the ground, and all he could say
was Mi, mi, mi, mi!'-just like the
sound the pot is making now.
so the animals all sat down with
their heads close together and lis
tened while the rabbit and the terra
pin fixed up the plan for the race nexl
day.
They fixed 1t to run far across the
hills, then turn and run back to the
camp. And the rabbit laughed as he
went to bed in his house in the broom
grass down by the river. (Now, car
you hear how the thing in the pot is
chuckling0
But the terrapin did not go home
and go to bed. Instead, he went tt
gather all his relatives and explain
the plan he had made to beat the rab
bit, and for the rest of the night the
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
The New Fable of the Through Train,
the Two Passengers and Nothing
Doing In the Way
of Transfers.

Two High School Heliotropes named
Lib and Angie were very Thick. They
had themselves photographed with
their Heads together and used to Dab
themselves with the same Piece of
Chamois.
Whenever Lib got a new Patch for
her Silk Crazy Quilt she would divide
with Angie on a 1880 Basis. And
whenever Angie got ready to sleep on
a Piece or Wedding Cake she would
pinch out a good stable Hunk for
Lib.
Each Girl kept a Nightie at the
Other Girls. House and, long after
they had retired. the Inmates would
hear smothered Giggles, interspersed
with Fragments of what He said to
Her and what She said to Him.
The Period of their Adolescence
was about 80 Years ago, when Re
nance was still alive and Knighthood
was in Flower around every Dancing
Academy West of Pittsburgh.
The two Chums had made a Pact
They were to be Friends forever and
ever and ever and neither was to hold
out anything from the other.
Each carried in a Locket a Four
Leaf Glover presented by One tc
whom she had barred her Soul.
After supplementing the Graded
Schools with a full course of Mrs
Southworth and learning to play THE
Maiden's Prayer on the Melodeon
naught remained for them in the way
of passionate Diversion except to &C
ahead and get Married.
They waited three years for the
Fairy Prince of their Dreams to come
gathering down Main Street in his
Coach all White and Gold, and ther
began to mistrust the Schedule. Sc
they effected the usual Compromise
falling gracefully into the awkward
Embraces off two cornfed Lizards
named Otis and Wilbur.
In the Shake-off it befell that Angie
got Wilbur and Lib drew Otis. The
two Brides were somewhat envied, al
Wilbur was a Good-Looker with raver
Pompadour and large snappy Eyes
while Otis vas supposed to posses.
the Faculty of coping the Mazume.
However, the purpose of this Fable
lis to indicate that each Gal found GU
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
Dogs Prlvileae Restricted.

That the law no longer comedies
that a dog is entitled to one bite is
held in Legault VS.. Malacker before
the supreme court of Wisconsin, in
which a father sued for damages foi
the death of his son, who died from
wounds caused by the defendants dog
The trial court sustained a demurrer
to the complaint, but in reversing the
decision the supreme court said
Where a complaint alleges that a dog
attacked and wounded a person who
at the time was where he might law
fully be and in the exercise of ordi
nary care it is unnecessary to &c
further and allege that the dog was
vicious or mischievous. Such a dog
is necessarily vicious, and a separate
allegation to that effect is unneces
sary. The law no longer allows a dog
his first bite as was said to be the
case before the passage of the Law
a%bolishing proof of scienter."
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
81
f(NF
ADJ
|:
In
81
coexezoA7S GORGE Ape

Get mel" said Wilbur's wife, drop
ping YEARLY to a Divan in the Style of
Louie Quatorze. Pipe the Lid! 1t is
a 1906 Model and the Aigrette is made
of Broom Straw. Take a Peek at the
shine Tailor-Made and the Paper
Shoes. Ever since they wished that
False Alarm on to me have been Civ
ing a correct Imitation of Lizzie the
Honest Working Girl. Each Evening
he comes home to give me a Sweet
Kiss and promises me a Trip to En-
rope and a Set of Gray Squirrels, and
next Morning, when I get up to re
move the Oatmeal from the Fireless
Cooker, l find on the Back Porch a
large Roughneck in a Sweater who
has come to shut off the Gas OF take
away the Parlor Furniture. Then ]
think of you, with your Closets hang
ing full of fluffy Frocks and your Fin
gers crowded with Jewels and your
Man rushing in every few Minutes to
slap you in the Face with a Hundred
Dollar Bill. You can take it from me
Dearie, l would jump the whole Game,
were it not for the Children. have
put in my whole Life trying to realize
something on a Promissory Note that
WAS a Boomer to begin with. He has
kidded me along ever SINCE the
Worlds Fair at Chicago, feeding me
on Canned Stuff and showing me pic
| lures of Electric Runabouts and Coun.
try Places on Long Island. In the
Meantime l am playing in Great Luck
if l can get a Trolley Car to STOP
for me-"
At this point the Wife of Otis arose
and, pulling the ~rose-colored Sill
Wrapper more closely about her made
to-order Form, interrupted with an
Imperious Gesture.
Back Up, Angie." she exclaimed
you should be a Happy Woman. You
have your Husbands Love and you
have your Children, both of which are
denied a Woman of my Assured Posi-
ton in the Two Minute Glass of the
Terrible Spenders. Talk about Hard
shipsl Do you know what it is to lead
the Grand March, surrounded by SOC
Assegai-Throwers, Harpooners an6
! Cannibal Queens, who are pointing
you out as the Wife of the Malefactol
who is about to be Tried in the Fed
eral Courts? Did you ever Staggel
around all Evening with 500, 900 worth
of Tiffany Merchandise fastened or
to you-expecting every Minute to be
hit in the Couture by some Rallies
Did you ever, during a Formal Dinner
hear the Door Bell tinkle and find il
the Hallway a Reporter from a Morn
ing Paper who wishes Il ask YOU
Husband if he denies his Guilt or car
give any Reason why Sentence p
death should not be passed upon him
Are you Wise to the Fact that the
Wife of a Successful Business Mar
now occupies a Niche in the Hall O
Fame right next to the Sister of Jesse
James? You are in Great Luck. NJ
n takes a Shot at a Failure"
Having arrived at this cordial I'm
d~erstanding, each leaned against tn.
other snd had a Good Cry, after which
they chirked up and paid a lot of at
t~ention to a wellpreserved Bachelor
who dropped in to get warm and tax,
a slight Fall out of the Side-Board.
MORAL. When Wealth walks in a
the Door, the Press Agent comes il
through the Window.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24

90 poorly that my folks thought ! was
going into consumption. One day 1
found a piece Of paper blowing around
the yard and / picked it up and read it.
1t said Saved from the Grave, and
told what Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE Compound has done for women. I
showed it to my husband and he said,
why don't you try it?' So I did, and
after / had taken two bottles ! felt
better and l said to my husband, Idon't
need any MORE and he said you had
better take it a little longer anyway
So / took it for three months and got
well and strong. Mrs. ALoNzo E.
BAKER, 9 Tecumseh St, Adrian, Mich.
Not Well Enough to Work. I
In these words is hidden the tragedy
of many a woman, housekeeper or wage
Garner who supports herself and is often
helping to support a family, on meagre
wages. Whether in house, Office, fac
tory, shop, store o. kitchen, woman
should remember that there is one tried
and true remedy for the ills to which all
women are prone, and that is Lydia z.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound 1t
promotes that vigor which makes work
easy The Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine
Co., Lynn, Mass.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24

terrapin's relatives went travelling
through the grass and over the hills.
Close to the top of every hill one ter
rapfn stopped and waited. Before day
light the last terrapin had got far
away to the end of the track and sat
down to wait.
Now, every terrapin looked just
like every other t~errapin, and when
the rabbit got close to the top of the
first hill, after he had started on the
race In the morning, he was surprised
to see the terrapin go over the top.
And when the rabbit got there, there
was no terrapin in sight, for as soon
as each terrapin got over the hill he
went to hide in the long grass.
1"Faster and faster the rabbit ran,
and at the top of every hill he though,
he saw the terrapin who. said he could
beat him still far ahead. Before the
rabbit could get back to the camp,
he was so tired that all he could do
was to lie down and cry out, Mi, mi.
mi, mil
Then the terrapin, who told the
rabbit that he could beat him, came
into camp ahead, and all the animals
of course, said that he outran the rab
bit. Long time they laughed about the
way the terrapin had fooled the rabbit
and stopped him from Dragging. And
now
The the old man would go to the poi
and take out what had been cooking
"See!" they would say; these are
a lot of hamstrings from the rabbits
and now we are going to take then
out and scatter them cross the patti
where the ball players from the otheI
camp are coming. When they eros.
the place where we have scattered thu
boiled rabbits hamstrings they viii
become tired and confused. And to
morrow our young men will bea
themi
Now, it is time for you to go t.
sleep"
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
Puttinn Father in Bad.

That parents should exercise the
greatest care in speaking of family
secrets in the presence of little chill.
dren was proved by the experience of
a North avenue resident recently.
The man in question was visiting a
maiden aunt, who is extremely stout,
and very sensitive about it.
A f~our-year-old bay who accompa-
MED his father looked very carefully
at the rotund form of his relative and
then inquired with a friendly smile:
Aunt Myrtle, you don't have to
put ashes in the bed to keep from slip
ping out, do your"
Then, when the man held up his
hands in CONSERVATION, the youngster
exclaimed:
There. papa, she says she doesn't
youngstown Telegram.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24

Travelling in Donegal not long ago.
a clergyman engaged a 'loquacious
boatman to row him on n Of the
lakes and show him the sights. They
inspected a ruined castle with the
legend of a banshee. The clergyman.
thinking he would put a poser to the
loquacious Irishman. who knew every
thing, inquired:
Have you v seer a banshee.
Pat?"
Aye, bedad, that ! have, your rev.
erence."
Indeed" said the clergyman, with
an incredulous smile. "And pray,
where did you see one?"
~"Stouffed, in a museum" replied the
unabashed Celt, without any hesita-
tion.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
Waensrlan Relics Stolen.

1t transptres that a casket sem from
Brussels TO Germany containing i'm
portant W~agnerian relics was broken
open and pillaged during the railway
journey, says the London Daily Tele-
graph. The articles included letters
and photos Of the famous composer,
inherited ~Dy Frau Titschatschen,
daughter of the celebrated tenor who
first sang the roles Of ~"Lohengrin" and
"Tannhauser."
Frau Titschatschcn, who died here
recently, b~eGpeathed the relics to the
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
TRAINING In SHOOTING.

Live targets" an English invention
by which one may shoot at kinemato-
graph reproductions of human beings
and animals, are to be introduced into
the German army and navy in conse-
quence of experiments just carried
out at Doboritz camp by the kaiser.
The newspapers state that the ap-
paratus is to be installed at the mill
tary schools and naval training ships
for the purpose of improving the
craftsmanship OF cadets. The kaiser,
fascinated by the sport" spent half
an hour at the range fitted up at
Doboritz. His majesty particularly
enjoyed shooting deer, seals, and
men and women on the tops of ON
nibuses and elsewhere. He said that
the scheme was undoubtedly valuable
for military purposes.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
Power Is In the Truth.

Jesus is dependent for an audible
voice upon the lips of his friends.
We do not need to be able to ex-
plain the plan of salvation before we
a invite people to the saviour.
Philip did not try to answer Ma
thanael's skepticism. He asked him
to visit Jesus.
The power is not in the words, but
in the truth within the words.
What Jesus wants is not arguments
from orators, but testimony from wit
Qesses.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
Father as a Board of Parole.

Father Cleft in -charge)-No, you
cannot have any more cake. Very
seriousfy.) Do you know what l shall
have To do if you go on making that
dreadful noise?
Little Girl (sobbing)-Yes.
Father-WFell, what is it?
Little Girl-Give me some more
cake.
And she was quite right.-Presby-
terrain Standard.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
some Country.

what part Of Europe pleased you
most?" asked the American.
Germany" replied the returned
tourist.
why Germany" asked the Ameri-
can.
~Why, In Germany a mar is still
considered as being as good as a WON
an" replied the returned tourist
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
Muscle Needed.

1t was a beautiful New Year morn
ing in the stone age.
Hey, Strongarm,' said Hairyhead.
lend me your crowbar, will your
'Whatty We want with it," asked
Strongarm.
Il want to take it home" informed
H~airyhead, Ito turn over a new leaf"
youngstown Telegram.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
Affairs Reversed.

An Irish tenant farmer, returning
from a somewhat distant market late
one afternoon, missed his way and got
into a bog hole, where he stuck fast.
His landlord, who knew the locality,
CHANGING to pass shortly afterward on
horseback, noticed his tenants diem
ma, and smilihgly shouted out:
Hello, Pat! You've got fxity OF
tenure now!"
Yes, begorra!" calculated Pat.
And I'd be moightily obliged if yer
honor wud evict me-"
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
DOMINO PUZZLE is CLEVER
Directions Given for Performing
Trick That VIII Be Quite Aston
ishing to Any Person.

A trick which is very astonishing
the first time a person sees it is to
please, except that one must be the
~double-six, and lay three of them one
above the other, then stand the double
six on them and put the remaining
eleven in a circle.
Now tell any person to think of a
number from five to fifteen and while
you are out of the room to count the
number thought of from the bottom
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
DOMINO PUZZLE.

step, through the double-six and up
the circle to the right, as the arrow
goes.
Stopping at that domino, count it
one and return again, going back
ward clear around the circle, skip
ping the double-six and the steps un-
til he has counted the number he
thought of. Ask him to notice the
domino on which his count ends. The
moment you return to the room you
will put your finger on that domino
without asking a question.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
Selfish Hazel.

A mother was holding the baby on
her knee when f~our-year-old Hazel
came and climbed on the other knee,
where she sat quietly for a time, but
finally she said: Mamma, it makes
me nervous to have you hold two of
us; put baby down."
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
Inhuman.

"Dabbs is the meanest husband 1
know"
you don't say so?"
Yes; he won't give his wife a
chance to find fault with him"
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
WRONG BREAKFAST.
Change Gave Rugged Health.


Many persons think that for
strength, they must begin the day
with a breakfast of meat and other
heavy foods. This is a mistake as
anyone can easily discover for him
self.
A w. Va. carpenters experience
may benefit others. He writes:
81 used to be a very heavy break
fast eater but finally Indigestion
caused me such distress, l became
afraid to eat anything.
my wife suggested a trial of Grape
Nuts and as / had to eat something
or starve, / concluded to take her
advice. She fixed me up a dish and
I remarked at the time that the quail
ity was all right, but the quantity was
too SMALL wanted a %saucerful.
"But she said a small amount of
Grape-Nuts went a long way and that
l must a it according to directions.
So l started in with Grape-Nuts and
cream, two soft boiled eggs and some
crisp toast for breakfast.
4 CQA OQt luOdIS anu d lOt VI OlLO1
stuff I had been used to eating all
my life and was gratified to see that
I vas getting better right along. 1
concluded l had struck the right thing
and stuck to it. l had not only been
eating improper food, but too much.
Il was working at the carpenters
trade at that time and thought that
unless l had a hearty breakfast with
plenty of meat, l would play out be-
fore dinner. But after a few days of
my new breakfast" 1 found I could
do more work, felt better In every
way, and now l am not bothered with
Indigestion"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read "The Road to Well
ville," in pkgs. There's a Reason"
Ever rend the above lctterf A new
Dne appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, nRd full of human
interest.
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
Lesson the Bee Teaches.

Now, little boys" said a Sunday
school teacher, as he beamed at the
earnest faces before him, what les
10 can we learn from the busy, busy
beer"
Il know" said Tommy.
Yes, Tommy" said the kindly
faced man, and what is it?"
Promptly said Tommy: Not to get
stung."
Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1914-07-24
Splendid Advice.

IF you are looking for real CON
fort" advises a sensible young woman
connected with a western newspaper
buy your shoes large enough and be
careful in the selection of your init
mate friends"