Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1914-07-31
DIDN'T KNOW BEES.
Remarks by an Editor Who Was
Never Stung by One.
Heard Of Ono Person Who Knew Less
About Them-Nameiy a Lumber
Jack, Who Called the Busy :.
Honey.Mskers Files.

Somebody has been good enough to
lay on my desk an agricultural paper
with marked article that relates to
bee keeping, remarks the editor Of the
New London Day. ! offer prize OF
red apple for the disclosure of the
identity Of the person who thus hon
ored me by the inferential suggestion
that l know anything about bees. ,
do not know anything about bees--D'
assure you do not. I'm sorry about
1t, but my bee education has not BEEN
neglected.; there never was any.
! don't believe / was ever even
stung by bee--not a honey bee at
all events. got stung at bee one
time; a husking beetle only one 3
ever attended. got the first red ear,
and when l came to, which was in
something less than a second, there
wasn't girl in the barn. And they.
never did come back. That was I'M
Vermont. too, which there is no sur
plusage Of the male human and where
some Of the males aren't any moro
than human enough to get by.
But as for real bee lore--whOeyer
left mo this paper, though ! appre-
ciate the compliment and thank him
very kindly, had better take 1t to some
other shop. Because about all ever
found out about bees found out from
my primer, when was seven, which
is-why it must be quite a long while
ago, come to think of 1t. How doth
the little,' etc. And then, after ask
ing the question the primer walks on
and leaves you gaping. You never do
find out from it how the bee doth.
Vaguely l have the impression OF
reading somewhere else that he doth
it with his feet. And again, come to
think of 1t, that kind of a proceeding
isn't just what we ought to expect OF
a model animal-picking up his living
on his feet, like a six-day pedestrian
or mail carrier. 1t isn't In accord
with modern ideas on hygiene and
prophylactics. Seems to me that Il
isn't quite nice, to say nothing Of be-
ing unsanitary. His feet! Here's
where Boston Is overlooking a bet.
Long ago they ought to have had q
society for the promotion of .hygieni0
honey gathering and the equipment
Of bees with antiseptic rubber shoes.
Boston is falling behind.
About the only thing l know about
bees Is that there was a Canuck lun-
berjack, who had been over to North
Adams and successfully gotten him
self rolled for his roll and who was
joyously trudging over Heartwelvill0
mountain, at peace with himself and
his jag, headed again for the woods
and some months more Of toying with
q swapping AZ. A man was trying to
get swarm Of bees into a hive and
he called the lumberjack in from the
road to help him. Fourteen bees al
once fell upon the Jack and drove hin5
into fourteen red-hot reasons why he
should get away from there. Which
he did. Hey! Wherein blankety-
blank be you going? Come back
herein give me q hand!" yelled the
farmer. Seventy yards away the jack
stopped and made soft answer: YOU
said he, go on to and take
care for your own tam hies!"
I suppose that lumberjack was the
only person on earth, who has lived
outside the limits Of a great city. who
knew less about bees than / do.
don't believe there'd be any more
chance Of my getting a bee mixed
with fly than there would be Of my
trying to help anybody at a swarm!
ing job-and that, assure you, is NO
chance whatever, absolutely none
whatever.