The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1914-01-13


 Auntie called her Boo ss Brother called her t.Dimpless'-
 So where was Bertha, Grewe?
 Edwin E. Saaodn in Good House keeping.
 s.----~~~->-->-- 5 PITHY PARAGRAPHS
 
 One never hears the mother of half dozen stalwart sons complain of the male sex being :. nuisance. Or if she does grumble a. littles occasional1y. she doesn't mean it.
 Every fat woman one meets always lays claim to the fact that she only weighed 97 or 113 pounds when she was married.
 That group Of Ohio youngsters is called the ..OEio corn boys" but the girls among them are attracting the most attention. However, the termin- ology is to be excused, for the boys always embrace the girls, says g. bright para grapher.
 The family physician is the only man who appears to be able to give orders to President Wilson, and his orders seem to go in one ear and out the other
 It makes no difference to a. woman whose form resembles a bag of oats, she is just as particular in arranging her toilet as any sweet young thing with a form like Juno.
 There are lots of women who look at and handle thousand dollars worth Of dry goods on 3. single shop ping tour and go home with -f1ve- cent spool of thread. But they are happy, just the same.
 Can anyone explain the whereabouts of the oId-fashioned ham sandwich. that in the old days contained a slice of ham
 There has been a goodly supply of arms harvested the past season by corn shredders thr roughout the length and breadth of the 1and- zIne farmels lsel. would save money and arms-by go ing back to the grand old husk1ngs bee.
 It looks as though calves were killed only to furnish some people with a# mess of liver for breakfast. The inn9-a cent things should be permitted to grow into substantial beef-the price will be no higher
 Now we are beginning to under stand what Lillian Russell means when she admonishes us to De kind 10 our faces She doesn't want to feed the face fried liver and onions, when it is yearning for roast turkey ana cranberry sauce.
 Psychologists claim that flowers suf- fer pain, same as mum ms Inlnk oI this, fellows, as you go traInping through a patch of rag weed or dans1e- lions.
 If you want to make the small boy. who hits you on the hat with an ice ball, defiriousIy happy, just chase him block or two
 Tshyaicians who claimed the appen- dix was of no use, was superhuous in fact have been awakened to the facf that they are densely ignorant pr. Edmund Perrier, at the Academy or Sciences, made public the discovery that the appendix excited the activity of the intestines, and he says that it should not be removed except in eases of absolute necessity. After experi- menting on animals with their appen- dices removed as in human beings. Dr. Perrier discovered that the secre- tions of the gland had a, strong eff feet on the intestinal muscles and makes a strong plea that the academy should suggest to French surgeons that they cease from performing ap- pendix operations for any but urgent reasons. Persons who indulge in intoxicating drink need not apply to the census bureau for job. They have no use there for people who are liable to see double. Why is it that one never sees 1et- ter carrier with a snpernuity of avor- dupois? Are they born that way. or does so much walking reduce the fat in the system? To, the man who has a, note coming due next spring, the winter will be all too short. Where would orchestras hide were it not for the ferns and rubber plants, vital question bothered our ancestors for 8 while. Strange as it may seem, Mrs. Eme- line Pankhurst got mad when an American gentleman offered to marry but she is probably not accustomed to being treated nice. King Ferdinand contemp1ates gfv- ing up the throne of Bulgaria. But there are not many takers, and the old throne is liable to drop to pieces from disuse. It doesn't make a conn fortable seat anyhow, it is said.
 There is said to be $12,792. .0o0, 900 in the world, and none of 1t available when the average fellows rent is due | It is asserted that the average ~o- man is an inch taller than her sister of a century ago. She has to be, in