St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1914-04-17

- Lots Of water, -~
Little food
Thinner clothing,
Pleasant mood
Living simply,
Girl IN white,
Make the summer
out Of sight
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Knicker-How do you remember to
water the plants when your wife is
swsyl
Bocker-I keep 'em In the bathtub.- -
New York sun.
Tho naked truth will have It's fling
IL shows up all our acts
Tor there's no way TO cloak thing
That's made UP Of bare facts.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
"Gracious, Smith, old boy, how are
your haven't seen you in ages You
are altered. | should scarcely know
you again"
Excuse me, sir; my name is not
smith"
Great Scott Your name altered as
wellT"--Wasp
"1've got a greenback." said tho frog
"fll need H. too all right,
Tor ] am going to attend
Tho fancy hop tonight"
Pittsburgh Press
Marriage is odd. You add one to
one and make one"
"IIow slngularF-Judge.
Jea' when a foler's drowsin'
Where river breeIes creep
A fsh comes tuRgn' at his line,
Dlsturbin' OF his sleep.
No rest for the weary
Tho world Ia rolin' wrong
To be awakened from q dream
Nv fish three inches long
Atlanta Constitution.
"what Ia personal magnetism
personal magnetism" replied the
manager. "is what enables n man TO
stand up and keep the audience inter
ested In lecture without the use OF
moving pictures. Washington Star
lie sued 20 break his fathers viii
He'd left fortune great
The young man got tho verdict and
HIS lawyers the estate.
Exchange
"Dld you notice that fellow NJ tho
Orphcum right opposite usT
"That good looking fellow with the
tan suit ana red nccktie1 No. WhyT
Wisconsin sphinx.
Pretty bride IN hls canoe.
Ere you paddle on with him
f,iston-f would question youi
DID you ever learn 10 nwim7
-JudFci
And what" no angrlly demanded,
"nm ! 10 have IN return for all the
money I have spent on your
"Wcll. you've got the experience"
rho calmly replied. Chicago Record
Herald.
A little pig
With curly tail
Aud natiny skin
All pinky pale
IL very different
Thing by far
From tho Jumps of inlquly
Bs pga are
Pittsburgh Dispatch
Ia g.Il
shout youraelfY"
yes but my wife has been doing
that for years" Birmingham Age /
Herald,
why do you run 90 fast. my boyf'
This answer then was Wudoi
when far enough from Johnny Jones
IN yell = sin't afraid
-Llppluootrs'
"The great question Of the hour Is
the canal question"
"Panamni'
"No. allmenlnry. how 10 keep trntllc
passing through II at present food
prices, "-wel'spring
Arithmetic" said Tommy Tubbs.
"a study hard AZ night
4 want Co Eet 30 | can read
These baseball box scores right"
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune
Mother dmpatientlyl-l don't know
what will ever become OF that child.
Nothing pleases him
Father (serenelyl Won make AN art
critic Of him-Iuck
Upon tho shore
The breakers roar
ARd fret with frowna unfadiaE,
incensed no doubt
A. what turns out
For board walk promenadinE
Washington star
what do say at the weddingy
mot a word, dad, All you utter 10
the check k"-Kansas City journal.
How small a pittance they receive
The downcast poets toll
To live they needs must strike the Tyre
And strike their friends as We'll
boston Transcript
Get any exercise while you we're
srayY
Plenty Of It. My wife dressed four
times a day and did the buttoning
fer her"-Washington Herald