The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1914-05-01


its bill. Baltimore American.
Another solution Of the high cost OF
living problem. Professor Alonzo Tay-
lor says that the less women wear the
more they eat-Cleveland Leader.
Teacher-"Willie, if you don't be-
have yourself I'll write a note to your
father" Willie-"You do and you'll
make ma jealous. Boston Tran
script
There are a great many men who
today?" the first-cIass scout was ask
ed. Mother had only enough castor
oil for one dose, so l let my sister
take it," replied the hero.-Buffalo
Express.
Customer trying on dress suit,
jokingly)-+'I hope I'll never BE- mis-
taken for waiter" Tailor-"When
in doubt, keep your hands in your
pockets! Judge.
Miss Peach is a decided blonde,
isn't she?" remarked Mr. Dubbe
YES" replied Miss Crabbe. She
decided to become one about month
ago. Cincinnati Enquirer.
There goes man who has looked
death in the eye hundreds of times. I"
In his case that is nothing to brag
about" 'No?" HE happens to be a
doctor baltimore Sun.
Doctor-"It's nothing serious, Car
ney. It'll have you back on the job I'm
a week" Patient-"Whist! Can't you
make 1t two weeks, docthor, bein' as
yer bill is goin' to be paid by the
Pretty brisk village, they tell me-"
Brisk! | should say it was briski
There amt a bachelor in tan
there's only two old maids, an Meth
er q them il more'n twenty-seven."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Il admits l stole the goods, Jeuge,"
said the old darby, 'but 1 done so
honestly. l didn't want de goods for
to consume 'em. / lowed dey would
offer a reward for 'em, den I'D give
EN- up an lit enough money to pay
my nt"-Atlanta Constitution.
why don't you get an automobile?"
Because I don't know whether or not
I could manage one" You didn't
let that consideration stop you when
you wanted a wife. Boston Tran
script.
fir wonder why Amy refuses to mar
T.
won't be kind to her" Wont be
kind to her? Goodness gracious?
hasn't she seen the beautiful monu-
ment he put up for his first wife?"-
Judge.
do you think you will be able to
keep me out OF jail2" ne asked after
H. had made full confession to his
lawyer. II may not be able to do
that, but I can make the state spend
a lot Of money in putting you tb~re."
Chicago Record-Herald.
What good deed did you perform
IF were you," said the old bache-
Tor to the benedict, TIA either rule or
know why" "Well,' was the reply,
'as I already know why, 7 suppose
that's half the battle. Atlanta Con-
stitution.
so you own your own farml"
YES" replied Farmer Corntossel.
An | want to say that the position
II a hard one. The fellow that owns
the farm these days il the only one
that can be depended on to do any
work on the place. Washing
Star.
A woman can take a dime to the
liver counter of the butchers shop
and strike a better bargain than a
man can make, but a man can wear a
$2 hat till ii turns green, while q wo-
man can wear a SO one only till her
friends know it by sight.-LouisvilIe
courier-Journal.
This illustration of the tango is
credited to an Arkansas City negro:
Dat tango, boss, am sort of a easy
motion Ye jis 20 a stealing along
easy like ye didn't have any knee
Joints and wus walkin' On eggs that
cost fo'ty cents dozen Atlanta
A woman's dress should be an index
to her mind, says famous modiste.
If this were the case we should be
forced to the conclusion that there
are a lot Of open-minded women in
the world Washington Herald.
Mother" said little Mabel, "do mis-
sionaries 60 to heaven? why, of
course, dear" her mother replied. do
NO. l am afraid they
don't" But, mother" the little girl
IF cannibal eats mis-
5ionary, he'll have to 20, won't her
New York Evening Post
Now that you have agreed 10 mar
ry me, dearest, I presume I had bet
ter ask your fathers consent. 'You
may if you like, but it isn't at all
necessary. I am in the habit of do
ing exactly as | please" "Oh, in that
case, perhaps I'd better consult your
father about the advisahility Of not
you, hen-"-Detroit Free
Press.
Are you making much social pro-
gress?" asked the intimate friend of
a newly-rich man ''Oh yes" ans
wered the millionaire. I've been
playing the game for a year and
that 4 am about six feet
nearer tn inner pale Of society ana
about siX miles nearer the poor
house than 4 was when + started.