The Washington times., 1914-07-07
Pertinent
Problems
BETH JEFFRIES.

HoLHc lie WHAT IL SHOuiU DC
Have you any obligation to tn,
,, home life of your family, or do you
rule entirely, exacting the same
rules day after day, with no slight
variations from your own comfort?
A young girl came to me the other
DAY with her problem. She is moi
more than twenty-one; she has 9
beautiful home and almost every.
/ thing that heart could desire. Ant
yet she is not happy. She confidec
to me that she was i'll at ease, anc
lost her poise entirely, when out il
company, and that the moment she
came into the presence Of girl ant
boy friends of her own age she
hardly knew what to do with her.
self. Yet she has had a most excel.
lent upbringing. When questioned
she told of the happy time she should
have had a few days earlier. She
had been invited out to supper at
the home of girl friend.
Only the young people, four cou-
pies, were at the table. Everything
was served we'll; there was no con-
straint, yet she felt so out of place
that she could not say a word.
81 know what the trouble is" she
added wisely when she had finished.
Mother never lets me be a hostess
in my own home. She never lets me
entertain my own friends and have
our own little informal evenings
She always wants to turn the af-
fair into something that takes a
great deal of trouble and fuss"
"You can't imagine" she con-
tinued, "what difference it makes
when the mother stays away, ap-
pears occasionally to see if things
are going alright, and lets a daugh-
ter entertain as hostess for a few
hours"
She was perfectly right. The poise
that she could have gained in her
own home was denied her simply be-
cause her mother would never let her
try the duties Of a hostess.
II she were to dare suggest that
she did not want her mother in the
room at the table, she said, there
would be quite scene. She would
be accused of all sorts of cruel in
gratitude.
Now there are so many mothers
like this, and yet they are the very
ones who would greatly wish their
daughters to be domestic. Can they
be "seeing straight"
Undoubtedly no. Young people al
ways have that desire to try and
run it themselves" The boy whose
father owns motor boat, or a car,
wants to try it out himself. He wants
to stand at the wheel and feel the
thrill of authority. There is never
any objection to the desire of the
son for authority on the grounds of
ingratitude, that he is ashamed of
his father.
Be more generous, ntseAArs, II you
truly wish to have yose daughters
domestic and lovs homes of their
own. Let them choose things for the
home, fit up their rooms as they
wish, and foster painstakingly every
sign of individuality instead of
crushing it. Let your daughter sit
at the head of your table and enter
tain her friends without your obvious
help. She does not want to get rid
cf you, nor is she ashamed of you.
She merely wants to "play house"
even if she is over twenty.
Do the same with your son, and
you will be surprised to find how the
children will stick together, bring
their friends to THEIR" house, and
how much more smoothly the domes-
tic wheels will turn around.
You wrong the boy and girl ut
terly, and deny them the happiest
times of their lives when you accuse
them of being ashamed of Mother
and Father" They merely want to
"play house" and be host and host
ess, and if you don't give them
what they want they will run away
at the first opportunity and get
homes of their own.