Norwich bulletin., 1914-02-07

nc how But I've got my eyes peeled fur suthin' a leetle softer than this un.
 Now. Dreamer, I lows you know a thing or two. and l was right stuck on that Idee of yours; but the hired man lit out fur parts unknown sn them ther hogs had to be fed so ther 1 was.
 Mr Put-it-Off: I've bin havin' some awful bad luck tew-had the rheuma- tiz:-and that last cold spell friz the last and onliest pumkin Is got-don't know what I'm goinN to dew for pumkin pie. I aint bin havin' much time for Social Corner; but when I seed your letter into the paper-Flowd twas my plain duty to switch you off, fore you'd bin gone and done it. Now Mir. Ben p don't resolute no more till you here from me A feller's own troubles is generally bad luck; but luther feller's is mostly-lack Of gump tion. or shiftless That's the way tiz. Yes -sir-ee. Mir. Luck does shoulder a hull lot
 Sez to Jane Ann. sez !: 'Tarnation. There's a feller whats writ onto this paper-'bout his luck. 'Shoo, now" sez I tits just as plain as nothin''- what his luck is. Why drat me l was muddling stirred up. Now them ther resolutions won't mount to nuthin', norway. I'm goin to tell you my K perience resoluting.
 A spell ago. fore I was Uncle Nat to everybody l got an Idee I was gOin' to leave Foot prints in the sand of time I got considerable puffed up bout them ere prints Them foot prints was to be a dary-kept right up to the handle. I lowed I'd be a sort of orakle- and folks would know where to git the weather and such truck-for years back, and most likely the wealth CT feller at Washington would hear of statisticks. Flow 1 took it bad. s'pose I sed much as three or four things about that ere dary. We'll fust year Is writ few days; than some night-tWould be like this:
 Jane Ann! What in tunket was l a doin' week ago last Tuesday, Say! Whatd I dew-last Monday? Rain.
 "Nawl Twas pleasant! and thus and
 Well up shot was bimby-I gin it
 Next year I sot out agin. l fingered I'd fix it all fine this whack. But mid ding soon that ther dary lay on the shelf, and one day l caught Jane-a pasting receits into it on the sly. Now I lows Mats pig-headed sometimes. Next year Is jest as fierce as ever for them ther foot prints Consarn it, sez I,-this year it's goin' to be did. Yes sir-e-e.
 For a spell it went suthin' like this: Weather - F F- got up fed hog-et brekfast-et dinner-fed hog-et sup per--,went, to bed-bimby twas Up-fed- -et-fed-et bed
 One night John Henry peebed over my sholder. He sort of sheltered and says-he?
 Way don't you ditto-it's quicker?
 "No!" sez he "dots do jest as well, means the same.
 I call that alfred smart of John Henry. but I lows that kid'H be a president, or selectnan or suthin', if he don't miss out (then it looked suthin' like this: Weather:-F-or S- -. -
 That worked middIing. till one day long comes a guy and we got a argu- flying bout the weather spell back-I How'd 1 could settle that ere in a shake of a lambs tail I got out my dary- big as all git out, and consarn it all, 1 couldn't fgger wheather F was fair or foul-or s was snow or shine. and l nigh got the hull ker poodle of neighbors wrangling about that ere. l was that sot baCk-Pd like to gone clean through the floor into the pork that dary. Sez I Nat, you old gump, you That ain't no tarnaI way to keep no dary. Them ther foot prints is mostly crow tracks anyhow. Them S pretty tracks for posterity. and l opened the stove door and stuck them u ed thirty or forty cents on them fool darys! Yes -sir-ee.
 Now I don't resolute no more I lows its all fol-de-rol. Soy: some times when I gets pig-headed, Jane has a mean way of axin' bout them dary's,
 f1ggers one day goods another Jan l or Nov. 31-all the same's: if you do the next thing you lows has got to be did the best you knows how: Pay your dets; keep your tempter (most- . ly); Mind your P's and Q's; and if you sees a feller stuck in the mud hitch old Kate on and pull him out. You'll dew. An you won't need to resolute no more.
 Now What-you- call him. You jest git up a little back bone and tackle them jobs and you won't have no bad luck nor knows prostration nuther- to talk about. That's how Uncle Nat fggers it anyhow.
 Interested Reader: I swan that theT picture on that calendar was just all right. l lows Is goin' to send you a picture of Old Nat or something fore long, and all the rest the folks. what remembered the old felIer is going to i have q card tew.
 Now. Drat it! I've sot here-and let the fire all go out:-and I lows IT have to pull on them felts and biId q fire, or turn in, bed cheapest I lows good night!