The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1914-02-04
On the Spur
of the Moment
Tl,e Candidate.
By ROY K. MOULrON.

Tho Candidate.
No past doth haunt me day ana
night and stare me In the face.
No enemies are on my trail to bring
me to disgrace.
They do not search rogues' galleries
to try and find my mug"
And see II have ever been confined
in any jug
They do not circulate reports de-
signed to drive mo bug"
They do not dig old speeches up I
made long years ago.
And try to prove that I said things
that really were not SO.
They do not search my family tree
for things they want to know.
They do not aublish letters that I
wrote when but a cub.
They do not call me ugly names or
make me out q dub.
They do not try to get mo in the
Ananias club.
It's well to be patriot and do
things for the state,
And be q hero that way, but I am
here to relate,
I'll be q private citizen ana not =
candidate.
According to Uncle Abner.
There may be a lot OF satisfaction
this light exceptin' those who have
got money.
Elmer Jones has invented an un-
dershirt that can't bunch up around
tho waist in hot weather, and ex-
poets to sell a lot of 'em II he kin
Gv~A
suits. The trouble with most or Ell
mer's inventions is that they come
about forty years late.
If all OF the bald spots were the
same size and shape it would add
considerable to the monotony of this
life.
Hank Tumms says east Lynne"
was the best opry he ever saw.
guess it must have been the only ono.
II some Teller could invent a foun-
tain pen that would get the Ink on
the paper, instead of on the fingers.
he would make a fortune that would
put Jorn d. Oilyfeller in the shade.
Hold Sphinx takes the butter down
to his Office every day and keeps it
in his safe. 1t doesn't matter where
he keeps his money, for he hasn't got
any.
There doesn't seem to be anything
on this earth that will cure a man of
Hank Tumms says his hat il In the
ring and he is a receptive" candidate
for town constable, which means that
he will be glad to receive the nomina-
ton If there il any possible way, by
hook or crook. to get it.
The Sanitary Age.
We're using sanitary cups when we go on
We're never going to let those microbes
Ko0e ST me
We boil our drinking water and we filter
Just whsn g 2 liz i going to bite is
We've knocked out all the roller towels,
the public brush and comb
The sanitary washfags are the only kind
We cannot kiss the babies now. sweet
hearts are also barred.
Dan Cupid under these new rules finds
shedding mighty hard.
Well eat no taffy candy that's dis1ayed
on public stands.
And some q us have got 20 scared we've
even stopped shaking hands.
paper money is tabooed for 1t spreads
grim disease.
We must stav far away from those that
We must have outdoor sleeping rooms and
And all else that may be thought up in
We've got to be SO careful that it take.
all our time
To keep the germs from sending us to
some much warmer cline.
But, with all our new tangled schemes the
busy germs to foil.
Folks seem to keep on shu .iling Off this
sad old mortal coil
Short and Ugly.
Mans wife wants little here below,
A poet sang, with fire,
There's only one comment to make,
That poet IL a liar.
She wants great deal, yes, indeed
And yet, oh, vain regrets;
We're telling you of what>she wants,
And not of what she gets
Few Remarks ON Woman.
DR.. A. T. Schofield spoke in London q
few days ago on THE National Import
ance OF Woman's Health" In the future
condition OF the race he placed the wo
mans influence far ahead Of mans. botf
from physical and intellectual stand