South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-02-27
TATESMEN
REAL AND NEAR
BY FRED c. KELLY.

WASHINGTON. Feb. 27.-For many
weeks Charles p. Higgins. sergeant
alarms OF the senate. has been carry
ing about verbal message TO william
Jennings Bryan. without having the
heart 10 deliver Il. He fears il viii
make Mr.. Bryan sad and downcast.
The message is from a once sue
cessfUl pickpOcket now serving time
in the penitentiary of western
state. Higgins was a visitor at that
penitentiary a while ago and the war
den proudly introduced the pick
brities.
AS soon as the pickpocket learned
that Higgins was from Washington,
his face lighted up and he ex-
claimed:
Il wish you'd give my best regards
to William j. Bryan when YOU get
back there. He did me a great ser
vice once"
Ii seems that the pickpocket chap
was one OF several men in his profess
sion who were travelling after Bryan
during one of his presidential cam
palgns, because every where that
Bryan spoke they found crowds and
crowds were their harvest fields.
Bryan learned that men in his au-
diences had been robbed, and &C
cOrding TO the mans story, he pre-
faced his remarks at one meeting by
a simple word Of caution.
Il do not want TO see any of our
people robbed" said Bryan, and
suggest that you one and all keep a
close watch on your valuables, if you
have any with you"
That was the signal for every man
who had money on him 10 clutch his
pOcketboOk, and in that way the pick
pockets were able to tell Just where
great riches were located.
There was one man in the audience
whom they had selected for victim
In advance, because il was known that
he had just been to the bank after a
large sum of money
This man was a ca 1tious person to
start with and after Bryan's warning
ne would not take his hand away
from his wallet which he carried in a
side trousers pocket.
The pickpockets tried to iostle him
ana worked every professional device
they knew to coerce his hand out of
his pocket But the hand stuck
there
Until William Jennings Bryan came
TO the rescue.
Toward the close of the services
Mr.. Bryan observed:
Il believe most Of you here are In
sympathy with what | have been say
ing, / wish that all who favor the
propositions L have been discussing
would hold up your hands, so that l
can count you"
Then at last the man took his hand
out OF his pocket and held it heaven
ward. In fact. he held up both
hands, for he was a Bryan enthusiast
When he put his hand back in his
pocket his money was gone.
Senator Kern was talking here the
other day to an old friend from Ko-
I komO
whats become of Bill jones'" he
asked, recalling mutual acquaint-
ance.
"Oh. BilIs doing we'll replied the
/ visitor. He bought his wife a taXicab
/ the other day"
( One of the leading characteristics
/ of Henry Ford. the automobile man
/ ufacturer- philanthropist, is his fond
ness for John Burroughs the natural
list.
AS soon as Ford got rich he be-
came greatly interested in all kinds
OF birds and he gathered together at
/ his country place near Detroit all the
rare varieties of birds he could lay
his hands on. This hobby brought
/ him into close touch with Burroughs
and Ford thinks Burroughs is about
/ the greatest man alive. AS a cOnse-
/ quence of this, everywhere that Bur-
/ roughs goes an auto is sure to follow.
/ Ford instructs his agents in whatever
! part of the country Burroughs hap
pens to be. to see to it that Bur
\ roughs does not have 10 walk, but
| has an automobile constantly at his
I ord
\ was arranging TO go south with Thorn
/ as A. Edison to work out some auto
I mobile plans. he made Burroughs
promise to go along. His idea was
/ to have Burroughs handy to talk to
about birds to furnish recreation at
! the close of each days work with
+ Edison.
Representative William A. Ash
brook. of Ohio. received an almost
fearful letter recently from a woman
+ in his district imploring him not to
send any more government seeds or
bulbs into their once tranquil home.
/ 1t seems that Ashbrook. not content
with sending a few radisn and let
tuce seeds. had franked a large con-
signment Of narcissus and tulip bulbs
as nuggets of good cheer 60 few OF
the more fortunate among his con-
stituents.
one woman put only part of the
bulbs into the ground and put the
others away for future reference
Then she hired a new cook. and short
IN thereafter gave a big dinner, fea-
T ture Of which was TO be a certain kind
of salad containing onions. Many a
/ thoughtful reader has doubtless
GUESSED by now what happened-how
the bitter taste of the naTcissus bulbs
inadvertently substituted for onions
complicated the feast-and how all
was woe.
I'VE will not care for any more
government bulbs" the woman wrote
to Ashbrook; "the flowers could not
I possibly recompense for the trouble
we had over the salad
downright. 1914. by Fred G. Kelly
All rights reseryed.)