davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
Exact Copy of Wrapper.
No cheeseparer.

The late George A. Hearn, the New
York millionaire art collector, was
noted for his generosity to his en-
ployes.
To a reporter who once congratu-
lated Mr.. Hearn on the high wages
and unusual comforts that his en-
ployes received M. Hearn said:
II don't believe in cheeseparing
economy in the treatment Of those
whose hard work makes a mans sue
cess. Cheeseparing economy, applied
in that way, seems to be as mean and
paltry as the Yonkers a
"A Yonkers man was summoned
from his evening paper by his wife's
frightened cry:
George, com quick! The cook has
tried to kill herself inhallng gas!'
"'Good gracious!' growled George
as he rushed to the kitchen, leaped
over the cooks PROSTATE form, end
turned off the cock-'good gracious,
think of what the gas bill will be this
MONTH" st. Louis Globe-D Democrat
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
Watch Carefully -
the ChiId'S Diet
Starr Them of Right With a Good
Laxative and Then Wafch
Their Food.


Mothers are often unconsciously
very careless about the diet of their
children, forcing all to eat the same
foods. The fact is that all floods do
not agree alike with different persons,
Hence, avoid what seems to constipate
the child or TO give it indigestion, and
urge it to take more of what is quick.
~ digested.
If the child shows a tendency to
constipation it should Immediately be
given a mild laxative to help the bow
els. By this is not meant a physie or
purgative, for. these should never be
given to children, nor anything like
salts, pills, etc. What the child re-
quires is simply a small dose of the
gentiest Of medicines, such as DR..
Caldwells Syrup Pepsin, which, In the
opinion of thousands of watchful moth
ers, is the ideal remedy for any child
showing a tendency to constipation.
So many things car happen to a con-
stipated child that care is necessary.
Colds, piles, headaches, sleeplessness,
and many other annoyances that chill
dren should not have can usually be
traced to constipation.
Many of Americas foremost families
are never without Syrup Pepsin, be.
one can never tell when some
member of the family may need it,
and all can use it. Thousands endorse
it, among them Mrs. NJ. E. Patten,
Valley Junction, Iowa, who is never
without it in the house. Mrs. Patten
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

says that Syrup Pepsin has done won
ders for her boy Ralph, who was con-
stipated from birth but is now doing
fine. Naturally, she is enthusiastic
about It and wants other mothers to
use it. DIR. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin Is
sold by druggists at fifty cents and
one dollar a bottle, the latter size be-
ing bought by those who already know
its value, and it contains proportion
ately nor
Everyone likes Syrup Pepsin, as til
very pleasant to the taste. 1t is also
mild and non-griping and free from in
furious ingredients.
Families wishing to try a free sam
pie bottle can obtain it postpaid by adj
dressing DR.. W. B. Caldwell, 20S Wash.
Washington St, Monticello, Ill. A pos
tai card with your name and address
on it will do. 3a
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
FACE BROKE OUT IN PlMPLEs

Falls City, Neb.-aMy trouble began
when | was about sixteen. My face
broke out in little pimples at first.
They we're red and sore and then be-
came like little boils. l picked at my
face continually and it made my face
red and sore looking and then would
wake up at night and scratch 1t. 1t
was a source of continual annoyance
to me, as my face was always red
and splotched and burned all the
time.
II tried - - and others,
but / could find nothing to cure 1t. l
had been troubled about two years
before l found Cuticdra Soap and
Ointment. l. sent for a sample OF
Cuticura Soap and Ointment and tried
them and / then bought some. !
washed my face good with the Cuti-
cura Soap and hot water at night
and then applied the Cuticura ONT
ment, In the morning I washed it
off with the Cuticura Soap and hot
water. In two days / noticed q de-
cided improvement, while in three
weeks the cure was complete"
(Signed) Judd Knowles, Jan. 10, 1913,
Cuticura Soap and Ointment sold
throughout the world. Sample of each
free, with 32-p. Skin Book. Address post
! card "Cuticura, Dept. /, Boston."-Adv
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
WESTERN CANADA
CAME INTO EVIDENCE
AT THE CRUCIAL PERIOD FOR
SUPPLY OF WORLDS FOOD
STuFFS.


The present demand for foodstufs
in all parts of the world, and the ex-
pense Of producing it on high-priced
lands, would make 1t Seem thai west
ern Canada came into evidence at the
crucial period. There is to be found
the opportunity that will be a large
factor in meeting this demand. With
its millions OF acres of land, easily
cultivatable. highly productive, aces
sible to railways, and with unexcelled
climatic conditions, the opportunities
that are offered and afforded are too
great to be overlooked.
There have been booms in almost
every civilized country and they were
looked upon as such, and in the course
of time the bubble was pricked and
was burst. But in no country has the
development been as great nor as
rapid, whether in city or in country,
as in western Canada.
The provinces of Manitoba, Sas.
katchewan and Alberta have the larg-
est area Of desirable lands on the
North American continent, and their
cultivation has just begun.
Even with a two hundred million
bushel wheat crop, less than eight
per cent. Of the land is under the
ploughs, four per cent. being in wheat.
Less than five years ago the wheat
crop was only 100000 900 bushels. It
is a simple calculation to estimate
that if four per cent. of the available
~cultivatable area produces something
over 200, 600, 900 bushels, what will A
per cent. produce? And then look at
the immigration that is coming into
the country. In 1901 it was -49,149,
10000 being from the United States
in 1906 it was 1873, 064, of which $1,000
were Americans, and in 1918 it was
about 400, 900, of which about 100000
were Americans. But why have they
gone to Canada? The American farm
er is a man Of shrewd business in
stinets, just like his Canadian brother
and when he finds that he can sell his
own farm at from 500, to 5000 pei
acre and move into Canada and home
stead and pre-empt half a section fol
himself, and similarly for all his son!
who are adult and Of age upon land'
as rich and fertile as those he left
and producing indeed several bushels
to the acre in Excess of anything h
has ever known, it will take NOR,
than an ordinary effort to prevent hin
from making the change,
And then, too, there is the American
capital following the capital of brawr
muscle and Binew, following it so a
tc keep in touch with the industriou
farmer with which 1t has had dealing
for years back. This capital and TIL
capital of farming experience is n
small matter in the building up of
country.
Nothing is said of the great miners
and forest wealth, of which but littl
; has been touched.
No country in the worlds histor
has attracted to its borders a large
number of settlers in so short a TIM
or has attracted SO much wealth in
! period Of equal length, as have tn
) Canadian prairies. Never before hs
pioneering been accomplished undo
conditions SO favorable as those tn;
exist in western Canada today.-A
o vertisement.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
MADE YOUNG MOTHER WORRY
Something Surely Was Wrong With
Baby According to Her Lament
to Friends.

Anybody could see with half an eye
that the young mother was worried
Her efforts to conceal it were futile.
What is it?" they asked sympa-
thetically. rs anything the matter
with baby?"
20, yes!" half sobbed the gentle
creature. TITS all about baby. | am
so concerned about him."
rs he sick?"
'N-no. At least, not yet"
HAS he met with any accidentT
20, no."
HAS he developed any undesirable
traits"
mo, no, nc None Of those. It's
worse than any of those, and it's wor-
rying me to death. Baby Is three
years old"-here the young mother
stifed a sob-"and he wears only
t~hree-year-old sizes in everything"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
Quite Natural.

A traveller was riding on muleback
through a very wild and turbulent re-
gion where human life was among the
cheapest of commodities. Noticing a
cross surrounding a heap Of stones by
the roadside, he asked his guide what
1t meant.
"That is a grave" said the guide
1T means that the man died IN that
spot and was buried there"
Indeed" remarked the traveller
land how did he die?"
HE died a natural death, sir"
What do you mean?"
"He was shot"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
Tact.

A miner got killed, and a tactful
associate was delegated to break the
news to the widow.
So the tactful fellow called at her
house and said: f
with your golden hair, blue eyes,
and pink-and-white complexion, ma'am
you'd break every heart in town If
you wore widows weeds"
The young woman laughed and
blushed for pleasure.
"Oh, go on" said she.
"And you are a widow, too,'' said
the tactful miner quickly, selling his
chance. Bills legs and arms was
Just blown off in an explosion. But
by Jimminy, ma'am, amt you goin' to
look good in black, though"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
r. Keep Bacon From curling.

But bacon curls up so when 1t is
sliced very thin" protested a young
cook when the family objected to
thick slices of bacon. The way to
avoid that annoying curling is to have
the frying pan very hot and turn the
slices before the meat sears on the
under side and begins to curl. BY con
slant attention and turning the thin
nest slices can be broiled brown, crisI
and straight.-Nebraska Farmer.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
WORDS Without Rhymes.

There are many words in English
that have no rhyme. AS given in
1.-The Rhymers' Lexicon" by Andrew
Lang, they are as follows: Aitch, alb,
amongs, avenge, bilge, bourn,
breadth, brusk, bulb, Golf, conch, culm,
cusp, depth, doth, eighth, fifth, film,
forge, forth, fugue, gulf, hemp, lounge.
mauve, month, morgue, mourned,
ninth, oblige, of, pear, pint. porch,
pork, poulp, prestige, puss, recumb,
sauce, scare, scarf, sixth, spoilt, swoln,
sylph, tenth, torsk twelfth, I'M
plagued, volt, warmth, wasp, wharves,
width, with, wolf, wolves.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
Caustic.

There is a certain party who is very
voluble. Long after a dialogue in
which he Is concerned has reached
its logical finish he persists In drag
ging it forward, in %stringing out his
sentences to the utmost notch. A
friend who was i~mpatiently waiting
the other day for the verbose n to
wind up one of his harangues testify
summed up his method in these
words: ,
There's Bill again at his favorite
game of turning periods into com
mas!"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

A tramp called at Mr.. Cobb's house
n morning.
eve walked many miles to see
you, sir" he said, because people
told me you we're very kind to poor,
unfortunate fellows like me-"
Gndeed!" said the old gentleman.
"And are you going back the same
way?"
Eyes, sir" was the answer.
WELL" said Mr.. Cobb, Just con-
tradict that rumor as you 60, will you?
Good morning ."-Lippincott's
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

President wilson's cold was de-
clared at the White House to be very
much improved. The president lunched
and dined with his family in the stat
dining room. It was the first time in
three days that he had descended
from the upper apartments Of the
White House.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
Good Reason for selnna.

A w%ell-known lawyer had a horse
that always stopped and refused to
cross the bridge leading out Of the
city. No whipping, no urging, would
induce him to cross without stopping.
SO he advertised him:
ITO be sold, for no other reason
than that the owner want to 60 out
OF town"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
His Object in Waiting.

Reserved Parson (doing an odd job
with the church fence)-"You appear
to be watching me very closely, boy.
Do you take an interest in carpentry?"
Boy--"No." Rev. P.-"Then what are
you waiting for?" Boy-"Tm waitin'
to hear wot a parson says when e its
is fumb wiz the 'ammer. Punch.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

Representative Burnett Of Alabama,
chairman of the house committee on
immigration, predicts that as a com
promise on the Pacific coast fight to
exclude Japanese and all other Asiat-
les. congress, at this session, would
enact legislation to bar out the Hin
dus.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

The annual report Of the commits
sioner general Of immigration shows a
tremendous increase in the number Of
aliens who arrived in the United
States during 1918. In all, 1,197,S92
immigrants arrived, a net increase of
401,S36 over 1912.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

The funeral services Of the late
Senator Augustus Bacon, held in tho
senate chamber, were simple but i'm
pressive. There were no eulogies, no
music and no flowers. The senate
transacted no business and adjourned
Immediately after the service.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

On the theory that the present title
is an obsolete misnomer, Represents,
tive Bartholdt introduced a bill in the
house proposing to change, the name
Of the war department to army de-
.~partment."
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

Immediate release OF all munitions
Of war under seizure in Texas, New
Mexico and Arizona, except those
needed as evidence against ~violators
Of the neutrality laws, was ordered by
the department Of Justice,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
ONLY One .BROMO OUININEo
More system.

To get the genuine. call for full name, LAXA.
TIVE BRoMo QUTNINR. Look for signature OF
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
Not Good.

Patience-Was the captain a good
sailor?
Patrice-Good? should say not. !
never heard a man use such awful
language.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

The army appropriation bill, aggre-
,ating $94, 900, 900 as reported, is $lO,-
733, 5S5 under the estimates and
S27, 900 below the current army ap-
preparation. The signal service gets
$780, 900, including a maximum OF
$3.50, 900 for airships.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
An Idea of Bliss.

Teacher-Now, little girl, I have
told the class about the wicked place
being paved with good intentions
Now, what do you suppose heaven is
paved with?
Little Girls with a delightful recol.
lection of a fresh air picnic)-Ham
sandwiches, bananas, an pie.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
Their Act.

1.-THE men in congress who are OPP
posing the franking privilege are act
ing quite apropos."
''In what way?"
TN trying to lick the free stamp
proposition"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
lnaiated On Eair Game.

Golfer (u~nsteadied by good cheer)
to Opponent-"Sir, l wish you clearly
to understand that | resent your un'
warrant-your interference with my
game, sir. Tilt the green once more.
sir, and ! chuck the match!"-Punch.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

Administration leaders in congress
are seeking to speed up the legislative
program SO far as it has been planned
and to this end an effort will be made
this week to dispose Of more of the
appropriation measures.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
Fate the scapeaoat.

Rogers is always grumbling
against fate"
Eyes, he has to blame his incompe-
tency on something."-Boston Even
Ing Transcript.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

Before final passage of the Indian
appropriation bill in the house an
amendment was adopted which prob
ably will prevent the dumping of
$4,000, 900 cash into the Choetaw-
Chickasaw country of Oklahoma.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

First Rector am going to preach
to the Four Hundred. How can I
move them?
Second Rector-You'll have to move
them in MISUNDERSTANDING.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

Il have engaged an efficiency expert
to look over my poultry farm"
What fort"
ITO see II we can't have less cackle
and more eggs
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

Johnny, you naughty boy, You have
been fighting again, and los. two OF
your teeth mo, | amt, mother;
they are in my pocket"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
Great Expectatlons.

Z In a certain family the wife never
could see things when they were I'M
der her very nose, while her husband
had a positive genius for finding not
only his own, but other peoples
things. This gift seemed to have I'M
pressed itself on the children, for one
day his three-year-old came rushing
downstairs to exclaim:
"Oh, daddy, mothers lost some
thing; where is it,"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

June Is is the date Democratic lead
ers hope to adjourn congress. Presi-
dent Wilson believes the senate and
house may work at the same time ON
the trust bills.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

"This new murderer is a foxy one"
How so?' Declares he's perfectly
sane. Now, OF curse, everybody will
have to go to work to prove he's In
sane"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
Treasure.

Rooster-What's troubling you, my
dear? ~
Hen--I've mislaid an eg~g.-Judge.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

The girl who marries the first chap
who proposes misses a lot Of more or
less valuable experience.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

When his sense Of humor has been
destroyed, life does not offer many
pleasing things to a man.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

President Wilson will veto the Bur
nett immigration bill if it comes to
him for signature with the so-called
literacy test contained in it.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

Plans for the reorganization of the
Wabash railroad have been drawn up.
but not finally agreed upon.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

If you don't believe a woman can
keep a secret, just ask her age of one
on the shady side of thirty.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

If a man can't make a noise in the
world in any other way, he shoots OH
his mouth.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

Drive that cough from your system.
Deans Mentholated Cough Drops will
surely help you-5c at all Drug Stores.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate
and invigorate stomach, liver and bowels.
Sugar-coated, tiny granules, easy to take as
candy. Adv.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

You will find many Of heavens
suburbs on earth IL you care to look
for them.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
No strinqed instrument.

do you play yourselfT
NO" replied the Boston maiden,
frigidly; Il play the piano"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

Don't cast slurs unless you are pre-
pared to reap a boomerang.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

Ambition is a tire that is frequent
Iy punctured on the rough road Of sue
cess.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

The average woman hater al give
no satisfactory reason.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

Marriage is a tie, which may &C
count for the fact that so many fell
lows are roped in.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

Some people think more Of dogs
than they do of their fr~iendsTand
perhaps there's a reason.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

The straight and narrow path is
generally avoided by the rounder.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
Diplomat.

PA, what is a diplomstg"
"A diplomat, my son, Is o man who
remembers a lady's birthday, but for
gets her age
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

The man who wants to get even
will often wait with apparent pa
tienee.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

A man never realizes how cheap
talk is until some women offers him a
penny for his thoughts.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

Unfortunately the man who is too
proud to beg isn't always too honest
to steal.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

1t doesn't take an editor to turn
down a hard luck story.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

A $4,000 campaign against hog
cholera and a horse disease called
dourine is to be financed by a bib
passed by the house and which al
ready has passed the senate.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

Some men try to console themselves
with the thought that they could be
better IL they tried.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

By defeating amendments to gen
eral arbitration treaties pending re
newal with Great Britain, Japan and
six other nations. the senate took the
first decisive step in the policy of the
administration to lift the United
States from what officials have char
acterized as its isolated position" in
foreign relations.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
Congressional Notes

Creation of an eightfoot channel
from the great lakes 10 St Louis,
which could be deepened TO nine feet
If required by increasing commerce.
is strongly recommended to congress
in the final report OF the specisi
board of army engineers on the lakes
to-the-gulf deep waterway.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

rs Charlie much Of q spender?"
The only thing | ever saw him spend
was an evening out at the house"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
SURPRISING Resul-

Surprising Result.
why. isn't that furnace hot?"
81 don't know, l am sure, for ito
coaled."
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26

Putnam Fadeless Dyes guarantee
satisfaction. ADV.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-02-26
Another Area.

The grand opera prima donna fell
down in the opening Of the aria"
HStrangei So did our cook