Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1914-06-18

ture your daughter gave at the gradu
alton exercises"
"Yes," replied Mr.. Meekton. "It's
the first time l ever realized how
much that girl takes after her moth
err"
Sporting Proposition.
What makes you SO confident that
you are in agreement with your con.
stitutents on this proposition?"
WELL" replied Senator Sorghum,
II have guessed EN- wrong four times
in succession. The law of averages
ought to begin to work by this time"
Could Smoke in Other Place.
Mamma" queried little Myra, "do
you think grandpa has really gone
to heaven?" ,..
Eyes, DEAR" was the reply. .,t...
"Well,' continued Myra, "Ill bet he
sneaks outside once in awhile to
smoke his pipe"
Mixed Motives. .aaq
$50 you are in favor of local op.
tom"
NO." replied Col. Stillwell. II vot-
ed for it SO as to get credit for strict
ideas on the subject. Eut, like sever.
al other citizens, ! was very much dis.
appointed to see the proposition go
through"
OF Course.
The teacher had been trying to ex-
plain the law of gravitation to the
juvenile class.
Nov, Norris" she said, "can you
tell me why it is impossible for O
to lift yourself up by your boot
straps?"
Eyes, ma'am," answered the little
fellow. Its because I wear Shoes"
Fatal Disease.
A young painter who had Just fin.
1shed a picture insisted upon a friend
calling to see it.
There, now" enthused the artist,
you see my new picture! What's
the matter with that?"
Il don't know" replied the bored
friend. "but l should say it was a
case of art failure.'-National M onth.
ly.
N Not in the Least.
When DR.. Creighton was bishop of
London" said the present bishop O.
London, "he rode on a train one day
with a small, MEEK curate. DR.,
Creighton. an ardent lover of tobacco.
took out his cigar case and, with
a smile, said:
pose?"
The meek curate bowed and an
sWered, humbly: Not if your lord
ship doesn't mind my being SICK"
"Would You Know IT,
Pat maher bought a store.
Though he knew nothing about gro
ceries, he would not admit his igno.
.,
One morning a lady came in and
asked for a package of spaghetti. Pat
had never heard of it before. He look.
ad all around, but could see nothing
thus labeled.
Spaghetti, spaghetti" he murmur-
ed scratching his head. Sure an |
had ut in me hand a minut' ago..
Void We know ut if We saw ut?"
Borrowed It.
what is of the principal prod.
ucts of the West Indies?" asked the
teacher.
The class remained obviously ST.
lent.
"Oh, come, think a little!" adjured
the teacher, with patient encourage.
ment. BILLY, tell the class where the
sugar you use in your home comes
a..
Billy pondered bashfully for a mo-
ment, then, blushingly, blurted out:
Sometimes we buy it at the gro.
GERS, but I think we usually borrow
from the folks who live next door,"
Study In Birds. ~
The parrot is a gentle bird
Whose life is free from care.
The language which from him is
near0
He picks up here and there.
AS he sends forth on every hand
His gems of vocal art ..,,
His auditors admiring stand
And say: us he not smart?"
The Dove Of Peace, that noble bird.
Her duty will pursue;
Her thoughts are worthy to be heard,
But she can only COO.
And all uncertain is the way
She travels. u%nprepared.
me parrots life is smooth and gay,
The Dove is always scared.
Don't!
Don't work., don't hurry
When summer draws nigh:
Dont 'bluster and fluster, ~
Don't sorrow and sigh:
Don't gobble and hobble
Your system without food: ~
Don't bicker-the kicker
Is painfully rude.
Don't tipple and cripple
Your senses with rum.
Don't rail at and wall at
The men who take some:
Don't sheer at and leer at