davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-02
AustridnS
Are Worsted
THEY ARE MAKING PREPARA
TIONS TO EVACUATE LEM
BURG.

BY Associated Press.
LONDON, SPIT. 1.-The announce
mrnt from Vienna that preparations
have been made for the evacuation
Of Lcmburg. the capital of Galicla
in view of the inevitably" of an ap
preaching Russian occupation Is III,
rrsto fricial admission that III
Austriuns have been worstcd III IN
prolonged fighting in Galicia.
Moreover Russian accounts IRON
this field OF operations have beer
continuously cheerful. Nothing s.
complete has the present CENSORSHIP,
of news from the actual battle lin
in France has been known since tn
beginning of the war.
The significance OF the removal 0
the German military hcadquartcr
from Coblenz to an unknown dcsti
nation is difficult to estimate, bu
the change is regarded as highly In
tcrcsting.
The Russian embassy here ha
thought il desirable, formally, t.
deny reports of Pogroma and Wilma
which 1t attributes to German am
Austrian sources.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-02

ing and growing under the encour-
aging influences of the Republican
tariff policy. What happened to it
when the Underwood bill began to
operate on it? 1t didn't make sugar
cheaper, as was promised. On the
contrary, 1t raised the cost to the
consumer. In four months it CauScl!
Il loss of revenue to the government
amounting to $S,640,0O0.. 1t was
pointed out in a recent speech in the
House of Representatives that this
loss of revenue could be sustained
unconLplainingly If any bnefits ac-
crucd to the American consumers of
the product. They didn't reap a
cents worth. On the contrary, ST.
900, 900 was added to the profits Of
the sugar rcfincrs.
Now we are in nice fix through
practically destroyed industry
brought about by the free trade
hcresics Of the Democratic party.
What did 1t do to sugar? Listen to
the recital Of the ruinous effects as
given by Representative .Mondcll, OF
Wyoming:
1T has practically ruined the
| Louisiana sugar industry.
ut has. closed eight great, beet-su-
sur factories. ,... .,-.
| at has rendered Idle $40, 900, O6i
Invested in these factories.
T at has prevented thG starting up
Of four factories heretofore built. >.
at has discouraged the erection
of new factories which were in con
Temptation.
1T has compelled six or eight fac
tories to reduce the price of bcct5
about 80 cents ton.
1T will throw thousands of ex.
pGrts and factory hands out of cm-
ploymcnt by the closing of factories.
1T has deprived American farm
crs of market for half a million
tons OF bccts.
1T has reduced the farmers suG-
ar beet market to the extent of Sill
100000.
at has resulted in loss to railway
and other Industries of at least a
million dollars by rcason"of reduced
demand for service and supplies.
lit has reduced the revenues Gl
the goyGrumcpt over. SS.640, 900"
| The complete oblitcration nf thu
industry would have been effected iii
time under the crushing Underwood
| bill, which provided for the free en-.
try of sugar next year. Tile Euro.
pcan war has INTERVIEWED to keep II
| going for Willie. But with tn
restoration of peace the same cOndi,
lions will prevail. which will de-
privc us of Independence in one
commodity we should be armed with
against any future contingency. suci
as now conrrOnts us.-Whceling III.
tclligcnccr.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-02

arc a JOY that only those who own
one can properly appreciate. II you
are sure xeccssivc ccstacy will not
cause your toe nails to shed off. you
are cordially invited to mortgage
Your honiti. pawn your life insurance
policy and, make q sacrifice OF all
yourrworldly chattels and place an
order at once for car with lamps.
fender, foolcatchcr and pedigree. Il
stink motor and three thousand dol
lars of experience is free with each
mhachinc.
Practice is unnecessary. as be-
einncr can CARLY run car through
wire fence or into glass front
without Gripping over half OF IT.
passengers.
Some of our country merchants
lave come to the relief of the poor
man by announcing that just as soon
IS they sell out their old brogan
shoes and shoddy clothes which they
have paid the tariff on, you can get
YOUR boots for a song, and probably
whistle out pair of brccches II
your mouth has the right quicker for
x. AS for the other necessities OF
life. we must turn to more econ
cmic living, such as grounding and
hominy. beans and buttcrmilk, leave
fine wines, unfermentcd grape juice.
to Billy Bryan. ss.'i
Now. MI. sDamocrat; don't think
that because the tariff has been tax
or off that you can tickle the garden
with a hoe and it will laugh pump
Kin pic. ..'...
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-02
TOWNSVILLE.

The cider press is grinding ann
the hornet is on the job.
John Hood. who has been quite
sick, is much improved at this writ,
ing.
Mr. Low will husk corn this fall
from the back of hi mule. He will
take no chances in cutting his corn
Stalks until the ears have been re-
moved.
Our local carpenter, Howard T.
Markley. erected temporary tipplc
On the grounds OF the LchiGh Coal
Company plant last week, prepare
tory to beginning shipment of coal
lin few days. Grading for the side
track and cXcavating for foundation
for the power plant will be pushed
to completion as soon as possible.
Ground has been broken for the
s.dctrack on the premises of the Mo
rongahcla Coal Company.
1t Is no trouble now days to holt
a fair. Where two pumpkins, a hol
stein hcifcr and candidate for of
flee arc gathered together fair may
Ec found.
The only way possible for the hob
blc-skirtcd sufrragettc to keep pace
with the Bull Moose that l can SEE
+: to climb upon the Moosc's back. .
The inland waterway comntonlS
known as the Big Sandy Cannal i
undergoing extensive improvements
preparatory to the transportation OF
the daisy and broomsagc, indigcn'
ious to the soil of BirChficld run.
/ Some where in the Good Book 1t
recorded, Now abidcth faith, hope
and charity. thses three, but thu
greatest of these is charity" Will
this emphasis placed upon the latter
why send all our missionaries to dis
tant lands, and thousands of our dol
lars, to convert the disciples of Con
fusiuc, while Christians Mt homo
speak with the tongue Of men anC
angels, but having not charity, be
come as sounding brass and tinkling
Cymba1s.
There is no doubt the automobile
being solid hunk of glory will
wind in the wheels, are forcing tho
horse to nc side and making him
candidate for the sausage factory
Soon the last trace of his existence
will nicker from the midst of horse
sandwich or a plate of chops.
These big new rubber horses call
cd modern wind-splittcrs, seem to be
footing success, had they not beer
crossed with some of the chacateris'
tics of Balaam's ass. However, they
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-02
Capt. w. F. Smith.

ELkINS. Sept. Capt William
IF. Smith. Confederate veteran and
enc of the best known residents Of
Randolph county. died here. aged IL.
He was Il, native OF. Bedford county.
Pa. He went to Elkins with the
West Virginia Central and .fPittsHe
burgh railway, having been engaged.
as civil ,rcpgincGr OF. tHei scosstruc-
.tiOn of the road from Cumberland to
lexington. Later inIifT he became as
fruit farmer. lie is survived by his
wife. one son. Charles Smith, of
Springfield. w. Va. and three daugh-
tors, Mrs. Emma ClinEcrman. of Bed5'
ford county. Pa; Mrs. Alice Moss. OF
Ecrkclcy Springs. w. Va. and Mrs:
A. NJ. McCaulcy. OF Elkins. z. J.
Smith, OF Bedford. is brother.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-02
DEMOtRAcY HAS DONE IT.

gT,nel dntelligencer has already re-
fetrea to Fthe disastrous effects pi
the underwood tariff applied to the
sugare industry, an industry which,
Z IL str lIadr been properly protected,
woald favegmade us independent Of
foreign countries for our sugar sup
ply. THE evil of, the Democratic tar
liz was never so conclusively demon
strated as in the present instance,
which finds us at great disadvant-
age and inconvenience on account OF
the European. swag, which has shut
OF our foreign Supplies. This was
one of the Industries that vast hriv-
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-02
Russians
CONTINUED FROM PAGE oNE.)

We captured some cannon. some rap
id fire guns and some caissons. The
pursuit continued.
The enemy occupied strong pu-
Sitiun of such natural strength that
1t was considered impreGnabla. They
also desperately attempted to stop
cur advance by blankcting our al
tack. We rcpulscd the Austrians. In
nicting great lnsscs. We buried on
the battle field 1866 Austrian dead,
captured II flag and SO guns and a
quantity of supplies, and made many
prisoners including Il general.
"On the south front in the Warsaw
tGistI'int all the Austrian attacks have
been repealed with success. Assum-
| Jig the offensive on our right wing
/ "c forced the Austrians to retreat
capturing three cannons, ten rapid
fire guns and over 1000 prisoners. '
LONDON. Sept. "a telegram re.
! ccivcd in an official quarter in Lon
don today from the chicf Of the R"%,
sian general staff. declares that tho
Ttussian rcvcrscs in Eastern Prussia
IS to be regarded as purely local, ant
due to the sudden achievements o.
the Germans (probably at Graudcn'
and ThOrn), and the arrival of thcil
siege guns. Russian reinforcement
also Immediately arrived.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-02
MUD LICK RUN
AND PRICKETT'S CREEK

MIR, Johnny HciSkill and two chill
Ircn have been real sick this week.
Mrs. johnny Vincent and son. VIC
tor, were visiting relatives at Falr-
mont last week.
Mr.. and Mrs. Sinus Moran were
visiting MIR. and Mrs. Nick jenkins
Saturday night.
Miss Ethel Wilson, of Fairmont, IS
visiting at Mr.. Caleb Stanley's at
present.
Annie Hciskill was calling on
Ruth Travis Sunday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Ashman Carpenter
we're the guests of Mr.. and Mrs. Gld-
con Murphy Sunday.
Mr.. and Mrs. James Necl and ram
.Iy were ut Mr.. Willie Travis Sunday.
Several people from here attended
he Fairmont fair Thursday last.
MIR. and Mrs. Willie Travis and
laughter, Ruth, and Miss TrcsAa
Rogers attended the Matthew and
rogers reunion at McConeys Satur-
lay last.
Misses Thclma and Wilma Rogera
we're visiting their sister at Fair-
mont few days last week.
Miss Jessie Morgan was the guest
VI her sister, Mrs. Jennie Hail. Sum
lay.
Ruth Travis was visiting her sis
or, Mrs. Lille Ncel, one day last
week.
Clay Rogers was seen on the
rcek Thursday evening.
There will be a Sunday school pic
nc and basket dinneE.nt Grassy Run
sunday, SeptGmbc r 9Th. Every
body Is invited to come and bring
we'll filled baskets.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-02

cay.
RlS fSSSlzEEz5El1s. ' SszGK'Ts
Mr.. McCaGferty, although very
young man, has had several years
experience in the newspaper bust
L oss. having.Workodso on the Eairmont
Times, West Virginia, Clarksburg En-
poncnt, Parkcrsburg Dispatch News
and Huntington Hcrald-DlspStch
since entering the newspaper field.
For the past three months Mr.. Nc
CaTcrty has been, telegraph; editor
of the Dayton, oIpl Herald; MT.
and Mrs. McCaffetg1 will Sdlse E'ip
their residence in ptotdgntown early
next week.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-02

EcUMBf;Ef:RItN6' XII scp@2.-dI
OK TeHsaEsa sRtrctary sbf the Th9bfAssl
shoe ta,ompsay, of Charleston We
va. died last night at the home of
his brother, DIR. !. II. Tobias. ut Han
cock. Md. He was well known In
the West Virginia coal fields. where
be had sold shoes for the last fifteen
Years, first for Dagcs Andrews, of CO.
!umbus. o.. and when this firm dis
solved he helped to form the Thomas
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-02

Shoe Company. of Charleston. He
was amcmbcr of the Kanawha Lodge
No. 20. Free and Accepted Masons; ,
Charleston Lodge No. 2O2. u. P. o.
Elks, and Charleston Camp, United
Commercial Travellers.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-02

ACCEPTS NEWSPAPER POSITION
= William Frailcy McCaffcrty, oil
Dayton, Ohio. has accepted position
Il news editor of the Morgantown
Post-Chroniclc and will assume the
duties Of his new position next Mon
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-02
REPUBLICAN, TICKET

81, j. Congressional
For Congressman-at-Large
HOWARDjSUTHERLAND
I of Elkins. a.
For Congress, First District,
-J5,,.s GEO. 2. WHITE
Of Weston. -.
: .rY Sc Rora State Senate ,.
Z lI1dsssS ~ L. N. DAVIS
tlsg County Ticket.
~ < For County Clerk
LEE N. SATTERFIELD
For Circuit Clerk
] HARRY E. ENGLE
For supt. Schools
/, JAMES G. LANHAM
For House of Delegates
A. L. HEFFNER
s DR.. G.. R. MILLER
i WALTER PRICHARD
l. For County Commissioner
ALLEN REED
EsfFs'
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-02
Sims Bill.

WASHINGTON. Sept. .. - Prcsi
dent Wilson today signed the wa
insurance risk bill.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-02

wish to announce to the public
that | have just received carload
Of Davenport Beds, which will be Of
fcrcd at greatly reduced prices. II
you contemplate buying a Davenport.
see our splendid selection.
J. II. SNYDER.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-02
SUBSCRIPTION RATES:
Delivered By Carrier.

Daily, rome month, payable
monthly 1................'.$ AZ
Daily, by mail, one week .... 10
Daily, by mail, one month. 49,. .4C
Daily; by mail, one year $40. 300
Daily, by mail, six months -. i1.50
Daily, by mail, four rmonths =. 100
:" : - y,
y AIiGnail subscriptions payable in
advance.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-09-02
Completely
Repulsed,

by Associated Press.
PETROGRAD, est. Pctcrsburg).'
Sept. 2-The general staff announces
that the. Austrian 18th diyisisRlYas
coAbletclyNtP rttld nea Lustch1SsE
August IS afd That 1sO qaiceFs and
4 ,0thQ, soldiers were takcnSRrisoReS.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1914-12-10
QUITE SImnle.

"My dear major, ! want 10 ask you
n question" remarked the modest mai.
den TO her partner as they entered the
conservatory.
A thousand II you like" replied the
gallant major.
What Is a kiss?" The soldier was
taken aback, but quickly pulled him.
self together. and firmly said. This
U.s."
sir" replied the indignant seeker
after higher culture, you misunder'
stand me. The Interrogation | put to
you was a mathematical problem
which | thought might interest you"
1T does, II does said the major.
but II it's n Conund-um ! give II up
The maiden's eyes sparkled, and
there was music In her voice as she
! threw out the answer, Why. it's moth.
ing divided by two"
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1914-12-10

Liven up your sluggish liver! Feel
fine and cheerful; make your work q
pleasure; DO vigorous and full OF am.
bition. But take no nasty, danger
qua calomel. because 1t makes you
sick and you may lose a days work.
Calomel Is mercury or quicksilver,
which causes necrosis OF the bones.
Calomel crashes into sour bile like
dynamite, breaking II up. That's
when you feel that awful nausea and
cramping.
Listen 10 me! II you want to enjcy
the incest, gentlest liver and bowel
cleansing you ever experienced just
take a spoonful OF harmless Dodson's
Liver Tone. Your druggist or dealer
sells you n 30 cent bottle OF Dodson's
Liver Tone under my personal money.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1914-12-10
Activities OF Women.

Philadelphia has five womea factory
inspectors.
Women farm laborers In England
number nearly one hundred thousand
over FIVE thousand women are en-.
gagged in industry In Italy
over six thousand women In New
York arc employed as tailoresses.
Canada has an active rife asocia.
ton composed OF women.
There are over three million widows
in the United States and there Is no
estimate as TO how many there will
be in Europe after the war. but II
will probably be twice as many as we
have.
In Java. when n man marrics, he
goes to his wlfe's house. where tho
women sit In council upon all matters
Of Importance and dictate the affairs
of the home.
Widows Of soldiers killed in the
service OF the British army will re-
ccivo n pension OF from I'VE to ter
shilllnFs a week depending upon the
rank Of her husband.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1914-12-10
Mice Ate Peace Sermon.

In an address before tho Meas club
Of the Tabernacle Christian church,
according to n Columbus (lnd,l dis
patch. Rov. Alexander Sharp OF the
Presbyterian church there. who has
iust returned from n two months va.
cation abroad, told his audience that
the last sermon he delivered 10 his
congregation before he left was an
earnest plea for universal peace.
Before departing he placed the ser.
mon IN his desk; on his return he
opened his desk, intending 10 reread
the sermon, but he found that mice
had eaten his universal peace effort
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1914-12-10
SCORED ONE ON THE HOTEL
Simeon Ford Tells How He Once En-
~tertained Guest With Lively
Sense Of Humor.

Simeon Ford. who accomplished the
extraordinary feat OF running the
Grand Union hotel and being a
humorist OF nationwide reputation at
the same time, and. now that the
hotel Is defunct, is presumably turn
ing his whole attention to the con
vulsing OF dinner guests over their
coffee. expressed himself with much
modesty in reply to a question OF the
Boston Herald
Il never tell stories" wrote he, nor
can I remember them" That looked
damaging. But presently Mr.. Ford
frightened up amazingly and finished
his communication In this way:
Here is a bit OF humor, however
and n true hotel happening
Our steward had printed on tho
bills Of fare the following notice:
IAN articles brought into the hote
and used at the table will be charged
for as though furnished by the house,
Some one mailed me one Of thes,
, bills and under the notice he haC
written:
docs this apply to false teeth?'"
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1914-12-10
Reduction in Living Costs Made Poe
sible by Perfect Product.

The sudden and highly alarming In
crease IN cost of food necessities, such
as sugar and hour. dcindnd Increased
domestic economy. For incomes nave
not advanced with this wartime soar
ing Of food prices. -.
Waste OF food AS well AZ cost OF
food must be considered mlnimlzeo
IN these days VI cNurOitant prices.
Fortunately the greatest . waste
with which the housewife has 70 con-
OF costly baking matcTials-is rendered
preNrntnbIc 10y the perfect ledVen!nB
power Of Calumet Baking Powder.
Calumet - an absolutely sure baking
powder of absolute purity. 1t never
fats to produce fully raised bakinBs
that are tender and tcmptingly deli
CioUs, For Its wonderful lcaveninS
strength never varies. It's always uni-
form-HnG always uncAcrilcd.
To pay more than - asked Tor Calu-
met simply means "A useless waste or
money. L, pay less. ana obtain an IN
fcrior powder. means the useless waste
OF baking Materials.
1tanttal sum on the price asked for
Trust Brands when you buy II. Save
the -four. sugar, butter n eggs 80
often wasted by Big Can Powders
when you use IL. You are safe in orr
drrinE Calumet. In trying IL, in testing
the truth of these claims, for II you are
not thoroughly satisfied the purchase
price Will be rctundcd by your local
dealer.
In buying a can OF Calumet send the
slip found IN the onc-pound can To the
Calumet Baking Powder Co. Advcrtis-
ing Department. Chicago. Ill" and you
Will receive one OF their handsome a.
page Cook Books. illustrations In coll
oFs, and "a boob hat Will be "A guide 20
economy in the kitchen,-Adv.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1914-12-10
MAKES HANDY SPOOL RACK
Excellent Idea for Woman Who Has
Much Sewing to Do and Llttlo
Time TO Do u.

Take n smooth pine board about an
inch thick and about nine or ten
Inches square. v with. cretonne,
plush. felt or any desired material.
From the under side OF board drive
through wire nails two and one.half
inches In length and about two inches
apart. Make a hole with gimlet part
way through, as thea board will be
less likely to split when nails are be-.
Ing driven through. Place spoois on
nails, number side up. A thread can
be easily cut from spool without re.
moving II from rack and n Ia saved
the bother OF having ones thread in
n tangie.
II you wish 70 take your work tc
the piazza or another room you have
all the different sizes. colors. silks
bastlng and darning cottons with you
In this rack
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1914-12-10
Beware the conflaeratlon.

Rev. DR.. Harris l.. Remington.
In an address on Purity" before the
Young Mems Christian association OF
Duluth. said:
II would warn my young hearers
against the almost universal custom
known as 'spooning,' In parlors, oil
park benches, everywhere, one sees
lads and lasses tightly folded In each
others arms, like wrestlers OF equal
strength. Bah!
But you ask me. what's the
harm? A kiss Is only n trile,'
"'Ah. yes | respond, "A kiss is only
a t%rine-and SO Is a spark"
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1914-12-10
UGH! CALOMEL MAKES YOU SICK!
CLEAN LIVER AND BOWELS MY WAY
lust Once! Try "Dodson's Liver Tone When Bilious, consti-
pated, Headachy-Don't Lose a Days Work.

back guarantee that each spoonful
vill clean your sluggish liver better
than a dose OF nasty calomel and that
IL won't make you sick.
Dodson's Liver Tone Is real liver
medicine. You'll know 1t next morn
ing, because you will wake up feel
ing fine. your liver will be working.
your headache aud dizziness gone.
your stomach will be sweet and your
bowels regular
Dodson's Liver Tone Is entirely
vegetable. therefore harmless and
cannot salivate. Give It TO your chill.
drcn. Millions Of people are using
Dodson's Liver Tone instead OF dam
gerous calomel now. Your druggist
will tell you that the sale OF calomel
Is almost stopped entirely here.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1914-12-10
NEW YORK 800 YEARS AGO
From Forest Land II Has Grown TO a
City Of Six Million In
habitantS.

As years come and 20 In the twirl.
ing of this world about the sun. II
was but as yesterday when Adrian
Blocks rude log huts were the first
habitations OF white men on Manhat.
tan island, says the New York Mall.
A branze plate on the building at
a. broadway is the token OF that oc.
cupation.
a city OF nearly six million peo.
pie, with real estate values footing
up TO nearly $4,000 0Oo. 600, has been
wrought In the three intervening cen.
turtles.
Yet as We look back in the days
Of this terccntenary We are stirred
rot only by the records Of growth,
but by the present opportunities and
responsibilities incident To tho twcnti'
eth century status of the city that
was born in he seventeenth.
The winter refuge OF the crew OF
the Tigor has become the world con.
ter Captain FLOCK hewed timbers
from tho virgin forest and built n new
shin. which he called the Restless
Tho swath that he cut VAS the begin
ming Of broadway. The name thai
he gave his schooner was character
lied the city.
The restless energy ~ New York Is
tho greatest factor In tho world prog
ross that Is focused hero In this younl
giant among the worlds ~metropolises
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1914-12-10
THE cockney ~" Again.

The American tourist was taking
the rest cure for a day In n London
boarding house.
II shall want no more meals" she
said, when the maid brought up tea.
IL shall be up for dinner. There's
nothing more | want"
Then In the nex breath she added:
"Oh. yes. there is ! want that hot
water bottle; but that's not 10 cat"
The cockney maid stood silent for a
moment, then said gleefully, "Oh, yes,
u is TO eat You want me TO eat Il
for you youths Companion.