Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-08-07
DIDN'T KNOW BEES.
Remarks by an Editor Who Was
Never Stung by One.
Heard Of One Person Who Knew Less
About Them-NameIy a lumber
Jack, Who Called the Busy
Honey-Makers Files.

Somebody has been good enough TO
lay on my desk an agricultural paper
with marked article that relates to
New London Day. | offer a prize OF
a red apple for the disclosure of the
identity OF the person who thus hon
ored me by the inferential suggestion
that | know anything about bees.
do not know anything about .bees-I
assure you | do not. I'm sorry about
1t. but my bee education has not been
neglected; there never was any.
| don't believe | was ever even
stung by bee-not honey bee at
all events. | got stung at a bee one
time. a husking beetle only one
ever attended got the first red ear.
and when | came to. which was In
something less than a second. there
wasn't a girl In the barn. And they
never did come back. That was In
Vermont, too, which there Is no sur
plusage OF the male human and where
some OF the males aren't any more
than human enough to get By.
But as for real bee lore-whoever
left me this paper. though appre-
ciate the compliment and thank him
very kindly. had better take II to some
other shop Because about all ever
found out about bees found out from
my primer when was seven, which
is--why II must be quite long while
ago. come to think of II. How doth
the little, etc. And then. after ask
Ing the question the primer walks on
and leaves you gaping. You never do
find out from it how the bee doth.
Vaguely have the impression OF
reading somewhere else that he doth
Il with his feet Aud again. come to
think OF Il. that kind OF a proceeding
Isn't just what we ought to expect OF
a model animal picking up his living
on bis feet. like six.day pedestrian
or a mall carrier. IL isn't In accord
With modern ideas on hygiene and
pr0phylactics. Seems to me that II
isnt quite nice. TO say nothing of be-
Ing unsanitary His feet, Here's
where Boston is overlooking a bet.
Long ago they ought 10 have had
society for the promotion OF hygienic
honey gathering and the equipment
Of bees with antlseptlc rubber shoes.
Boston is falling behind.
About the only thing | know about
bees In that there was Canuck lum-
beriaek. who had been over 10 North
Adams and successfully gotten him
"a "a fs.F
ioyonsly trndging over Heartwelyille
mountain. at peace with himself and
his jag. headed again for the woods
and some months more OF toying with
n swamping AZ. A man was trying to
set a swarm OF bees into a hive and
he called the IumberJack in from the
road to help him. Fourteen bees al
once fell upon the Jack and drove him
into fourteen red.hot reasons why he
should get away from there. Which
he did. Hey. Wherein blankety.
blank be you going7 Come back
herein give me a hand" yelled the
farmer. Seventy yards away the Jack
stopped and made soft answer: you"
said be. go on to --- and take
care for your own tam fies,"
suppose that lumberjack was the
only person on earth. who has lived
outside the limits OF great city. who
knew less about bees than | do. I
don't believe there'd be any more
chance OF my getting bee mixed
with a fly than there would be OF my
trying TO help anybody at a swarm
ing job-and that. assure you. is no
chance whatever. absolutely none
whatever,