davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-08-02

subject for the railroad joke. Here Is an
early example from "The Railway An
ecdote Book:
Friends are in the habit Of warmly
greeting their acquaintance upon the
arrival of passenger trains at some OF
the railway stations. Iii was only the
other day that young gentleman
rushed through the crowd toward
lady. seized her hand and gave her a
hearty kiss, the smack of which. sounded
above--we were going to say the dlhs
az dongs. but ii Is enough to state that
he report startled IA country lass nara
Nv who excla lined to her teller, 'MassN'
Josh, What on airth's gev way on dhe
| keers?''
# is interesting to find that the car
| scat Joke, the most popular form or thc
railroad Joke at the present day, Is one
,f the oldest. The date of the follow
ing example is unknown, but 1t u OLD
enough to be included in "The halfway
\necdote Book" while It's syntaN uh-
mi,takably proclaims that neiohRs u
a very early period in the history o.
! the railroad.
"It's a small matter, hut a gentleman
always feels angry at himself AFTER he
has given up a seat in n railway cal
10 a female who lacks the GOOD man
ners to acknowledge the favor. Ih'
following hint to the ladies' VIII sho"
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-08-02

All women are alike in their fear of
the cars said an Illinois Central con-
ductor They carry their caution to
absurd extremes. That reminds me Of a
little story.
down in the southern part of the
state we have up at road crossings some
of the old fashioned signs. Look out for
the cars when the bell rings" At one
of these crossings the other day two
women came up, driving an old horse
hltched tn a buggy. They looked all
about, but couldn't see any cars. but
happening to read the sign. stop" said
one, II hear a bell"
They both listened and sure enough
they heard bell tinkling. one of the
women got out and took hold of the
horses bride. The other tightened her
grip on the lines, set her jaws and pre-
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-08-02

THE request was scarcely proffered
when the American, with the gallantry
of a genuine Yankee. fastened to as
sure the Englishman that nothing would
give him more pleasure than to he of
service to the lady.
"On the following morning the Amerl-
can was astonished to see pair of
tweed legs emerge from the lower berth
opposite to that which he had politely
given up and the next moment the
adlpose upper extremities Of the Eng
lshman.
Say said the American as an air
Of grave disgust began to creep over
his astonished physiognomy. didn't you
ask me to give up my lower berth to
your sister,
Certainly, my dear fellow replied
the gentleman addressed. Hope you
slept WE'LL
"'And you had lower berth?'
"'Of course
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-08-02

'cck us his teeth very comfor-
ably
II .tr Is It, capting, from here
' VIE cot on board?'
a mile and a half said
'Ac Goa.
'L' -pc said Jonathan. That
""u.a Just four and a half cents
'1' r mind, captlng, won't be
small v's five cents which pays
iy i1f here; | guess I'll go ashore
"'N, udcr rested eout."
H} nal but unmlstakable proc
''' tuition this joke can be
fa.'. oy step for fifty years until
''" 's apotheosis in the follow
'i he Norrlstown Hcrod OF
IW3.
y Niger on a Western railroad
was ~ the abdomen by a train
''htl 4 the bullet was found lodged
ga. IN n. had eaten at a railroad
eN"u only ten minutes before. Inc
n'h ice was nattened out as thlh
..l dime and the man was
,Nf'''' '. lrcovcr. II it had not been
" 'u' M.ch the bullet would nave
e c' tuu.u"h him."
"'r" 80. example of railroad hum"i
,', !" .a many laugh, no DOUBT
+" he d when people were still mar
Yelling ..... ,,o discnyerv that n trair
>Vu'u NV, faster than a stage coach
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-08-02

Never We mind that said the HI
bernian. Yer welcome to 1t, I'd ride
upon the cowCatCher TIL New York any
time for smile from such jintlemanly
ladies' and retreated hastily to the next
car amid cheers from those who had
witnessed the affair"
OF all nationalities the 1rishman
figures most frequently in the railroad
joke of the earlier vintages. with the
African second. Here is a representa-
tive specimen of the Irish railroad joke
from The Railway Anecdote Book"
Not long ago the Troy and Green
field Railway Company established
flag station at North Williamstown ana
installed worthy native of the Green
Isle as depot master. Pat was duly in
structed in the duties &C his office, and
| among other things that whenever
there were any passengers to be taken
up red flag was to be displayed, The
next day the red flag was waving. OF
course the train brought up.
Where are your passengers, PATE
sang out the conductor.
Sure then, there are none at all
What the deuce did you put up your
| Nag for. then?
IAN sure, but how did I know but
,ome one would want to get out? Tell
| me that"
Since our forefathers were for many
! years filed with amaZement to find that
the locomotive could outtravel the horse
| 1t follows that the joke about the slow
train is comparatively modern. But If II
| did get a late start no form of the
| railroad joke has ever attained such
universal popularity as the story about
| the impatient traveller who begged the
conductor to take the cowcatcher of the
engine and attach it to the rear plat
form, because, while there was no dan
ger that the train would ever overtakt
IA COW, there was nothing to prevent ar
aggressive COW from walking into th'
rear car and biting the passengers.
1t Is impossible to trace this story L
its source. While 1t Is now fairly old i
ems to improve with age. So great Il
its popularity that 1t has appeared II
more variations than any other railroad
joke. The following from the Chat
tanooga Times in the later sos show
some ingenuity in adaptation:
"'Are we on down grade?' asked al
impetuous passenger, gazing first at tn
, conductor and then earnestly out of tn
. window.
"No, sir replied the conductor coldly
4 This Is a perfectly level track. Their
!, are no grades on this road
"'Thats curious mumbled the pas
D senEer, opening the window and stick
( ing his head out.
"'If anything continued the conduc
n tor. cXasperated by the mans conduc
e IL anything we're going up slight In
r cline
= "'That's wonderful exclaimed tn
@ passenger, Il thought 1t was remark
v able II We were on a down grade, bu
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-08-02

TIME future historian who is 20
deal with the progress and evo-
i luton of the Russian Emp re
must come to the United State
for much of his material. Thousands
of miles from the land of the Car. tn
future of the Russian monarchy is being
Influenced from here. Thousands %
Russians driven from their native land
seek refuge and peace in the United
States, and here, beyond the reach of
the Russian autoCracy, they are work.
ing to tear down the social structure
which drove them out of their country.
America Is gradually becoming an i'm
portant centre of activities of the Rus
sian rebels. AS in the case of Mexico
and China preparations for the next
Russian outbreak are being gradually
made in the United States. Here the
revolu,ionists are gathering the"
forces shattered by the events of 1905.
Here they are planning to overthr Nv
the ancient house of Romanoff.
Russia never was safe place for
libertarians. The furtrcssess of St.
Petersburg, Riga, Moscow and other
cities are filled with young men and
women who have opposed the existing
order Of things. Persecution At first
drove the rcvolutionsts to France and
Switzerland. In those countries they
planned the revolt of 1905. From ther"
stream of Illegal literature was sent
into Russia AND the battle for freedom
conducted.
But even there the rcvoiutiunistS soon
found they were not safe from the Rus
sian Government. Soon their work was
interrupted and many of them were
eXtraditcd to Russia. More stringent
and oppressive became the laws in Rus
STA after the revolution failed. Thou
sands were banished to Siberia, Others
! inCarcerated in fortrcsses and prisons
/ The reaction had set in. the revolutions
/ lists were subdued and again the CzaI
. ruled unmolested.
/ Following the failure of the revolu-
| ton the economic conditions became
almost intolerable to many The immi'
grafton to this country increased
rapidly. The immigrants were not only
men and women from the cities, but {
new type presented itself, This wa'
the Russian peasant. tntil 1906 few o
this class had come to America. The
immigrants from Russia had beei
mostly Jews from the Pale, Poles
Lithuanians, Let's and Firms. liut
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-08-02

pared for the worst. They looked anx-
iously up the track for the train, but
still couldn't see it. though they could
hear the bell n little palmer than before.
They waited and waited.
Five minutes passed and then ten,
and still no train. The old horse went
to sleep while the women's nerves, from
long straining, threatened to throw them
into Mysteries. Nearer and nearer came
the bell against which the sign warned
them, 50 they stood still. In about a
quarter of an hour an old brindle COW
came walking down the pasture beside
the track chewing her cud and monot-
onously jingling her bell
"One of the women cried from ner-
vousness, while the other got mad at the
railroad company and said they were
nothing but old monopolics anyhow +"
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-08-02

ulous'
"'What tsp growled the conductor.
What are you talking about anyhow
az simply cant understand how that
COW should beat us going up hill, that's
ALL sighed the passenger, sinking into
his seat to figure 1t out"
Next to the cow story no form of the
railroad joke has been so persistently
worked as the one which deals with the
way the brakeman makes hash of the
English language in announcing the
names of stations. No humorist ever
succeeds in soaring to very great
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-08-02

land then you got ms to give up
mine 10 your sister,
"Why, my dear fellow said the
Euglishman in his turn, you didn't en-
pcct I'd give up lower berth to my
own sister, did you""
The ninth decade of the nineteenth
century may be described as the golden
age of the railroad joke. Bob Bur-
dette, NJ quad, the DdnbarU NclcS man
and a host of lesser lights filled the
newspapers and patent medicine al
MANAGES to overlooking with more or
less ingenious variations upon hack
neyed themes while the jokesmths oc-
casionally did themselves proud with
original specimens of genuine humor
as the following example from the chi
Cago Hcrah will show:
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-08-02

that a trine of politeness properly
spread on often has a happy effect:
The seats were all full. one Of which
was occupied by a rough looking Irish
man, and at one of the stations a
couple of evidently well bred and intel
lgent young ladies came in to procure
seats, but seeing no vacancies were
about to go into a back car when Pat
rose and hastily offered them his seat
with evident pleasure.
" But you will have no seat your
SELF responded one of the young ladies
with q smile. hesitating with true polite
ness as to accepting il.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-08-02
ABROAD JOKES SHED LIGHT ON
TRAVELLING CUSTOMS OF FORMER DAYS

ugh the railroad era has
n vet rounded out its first
~ Jury. it has, nevertheless,
.rSscd the origin, the rise in
.r.. M. the height of popularity
Zine of the railroad joke.
,yb,r were first proposed our
,.. .tok railroads too seriously
,,mt. any unscemly levity about
.m ID, established. though, the
,.,.. .r for some years enjoyed
F. .- .,-ue accorded to novelties
r.t VAS accelerated az the newer
mes. of the automobile sup
,.,u.I railroad Now the auto
,l. .iclding the centre of the
stag. e.. 800 dcroplane.
Tb. lest collection OF railroad
,lu, has been preserved Is con-
,.n.J The Railway Anecdote Book"
rptr.. .y the Appletons in 1864.
Tbs taper bound volume of 24O
maze. ., type. containing no orig
mai r .tl. hut consisting eXclu-
.y.', .umpilation of the best jokes
~ ih,. ding quarter of a century.
:, tr tuown but a single copy of
fht. ... exists.
N.H .tnding its title. dhe book
.,.. ~ few railroad jokes, for
.r, .. Hiss reason that few then ex-
.aI . ven some Of these were OF
Ems. .. lin. The bulk of the con-
.,.'- .ic up Of stories about hotels.
r,r. pd.ing. Judges and liquor,
..., .. always combined, quota
ar. . Nrtcmus Ward. and repro
.tt.. .' atrocious wood cuts from
rrr, CNrlopedia of Wit and HUI
.~" Jew american railroad stor-
... ny exceptional interest. not
..... NImplas of the sort of thing
Gathers laughed over, but also
.f .. historic value in the Incl
denial 't they shed on the travel
Ems ..' .- II former days.
f., hing The Railway Anec-
tt, contains the fossil remains
., rf. tt rad lunch counter joke. The
t,,,.n q This little volume. added
e. t... .. the files of old journals
,,ilf. .hr anteCedents of thb, once
p..' . .'jclsm as conclusively as
OBJ, ,.-.... a,s Of paleontologists have
prove. 'hp prehistoric ancestor OF
th, .... b4s an animal no bigger than
f.N.
I'll, ... r counter joke in its original
form N.- A~cd on the appetite of the
,ouul. su as developed in hotels
scr,. r.ls at fixed price. Some
times ... ,tndlurd was the victim, again
Oh, t..l. Ilmiu got the worst of It,
Just js..t 90 the railroad era the scene
was transferred from the hotel dining
room %. 'lr canal boat, then back tc
the h.f.. to which the passenger had
. r,.Ir for his meals before the
sa;.r ..,h room was invented. Her,
Sa -Nampe Of the lunch Coun-
ter i... a he canal stage of its evo-
luton G j. reproduced verbatim tC
give t. LEA Of the workmanship OF
t5, ...- m.th Of eighty years ago:
III there. capting?' said 6
irUh,. Junathan to captain of q
anal go. ket on the Erie Canal. wha
30 you barge for passage"
"'Thr,e cents a mile and boarded,
.aid IT,, captain. Wall, l guess II
'ak" Usage, capting, seeing as how
I'm kinder gin eout walking 50 far.
'Ac 'dingly he got on board as the
steward was ringing the bell for din
Yer J..tthan sat down and hegar
a,uu.- ~ the 'fiXin's' TO the utter con
.',ru...u If the captain. until he ha'
,tar. .. table Of all that was eat
.. H.. he got up and went oi
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1914-05-02
TlsuCrEs ARE All LANDED
Collier Lands Her Passengers at New
Orleans.

NEW ORLEANS. MAY THE
United states collier Jason. having on
hoard eff refugees from Mexico Cotv
came up the river trom quarantine
TO-DAY rC3ChIns the immigration stl-
tion hero shortly after @ o'clock to-
might She bcgan at once Co dis
.h7r-c her rasserecrs. who win leuro
for their homes as soon ne frarer.~.
tat'"n is arranged
Among the rcfugecs ON the Jason
were sixteen Ch.aawon who viii 'c
held at the immigration station until
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1914-05-02
Almost LynCheS the
American Refugees

Continued From Page ono)
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1914-05-02

their disposition is determined They
viii Do, given Cd hearing tomorrow,
and will D.. allowed go show cause why
They should not lr doportcd
The Spectator., 1914-11-13
NO MORE CARICATURE.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, during his recent visit to New York, said to a New York reporter:
 English authors nowadays sell better III Amerca, as a rule, than at home \ sale of 2O.000 volumes is extraordinary at home, but here a sale of 100000 Is hardly eXtraordi- nary.
 One consequence of this fact is the disappearance from English tic- lion of the American girl caricature. The American girl in English fiction today iS, if anything, over-ilattered. But in the English fiction of yestcr- Jay the American girl was of the type that says:
 "'Gee, pop, hop inter a b'lcd shirt. Thar goes the hash hammer. <"
The Spectator., 1914-11-13
DECIDED TO REMAIN SINGLE
Using Marriage License, Wanted His Money Back.

Heres license done got in this here court 24 years ago, and l don [ seem to have nary a chanst to ever use 1t, so l reckoned 1t best to bring it back and get the money l paid you ms for it.
 This speech greeted the clerk in the marriage license office in the courthouse at Williamson, w. Na., shortly after a rugged mountalneer mad entered and asked for the Heller that fixes up the marriage papers.
 ou sec he said, me and Eu- phemia always meant to get married, but she was so consarned contrary like that she never was ready to have the parson tie the knot when was.
 "I lowed that l could worry along a while with Euphemla i'll her tan )rums, but after 24 years l got tired and told her either we uns 'ud get married or we wouldn't.
 "Euphemia lowed We wouldn't: 50 calkerlate we won't"
The Spectator., 1914-11-13
Notice For Publicali n No. 09S54

DEPARTMENT OF THE INFERIOR.
 U. s. Land Office at Little Rock. Arkansas, tober 10. 1914.
 Notice is hereby given that John w. Cornell, of Mountain Top, Arkansas. who, on August 2l. 1913. made Home stead Entry, No 09S54, for SEA- NWl-i NEl-4 SW1-4 and NWl-4 SEl Il. Section 22, Township II N, Range 26 w., 9th Principal Meridian, has filed notice of intention to make three years proof. to establish claim to the land above de- scribed. before A. N Hill. Clerk of Franklin County. at Ozark, Arkansas. on the 22nd day of November, 1914.
 Claimant names as witnesses: c. C. Wilshear. w. T. Bateman, Wiley Stiles and Will Hill all of Mountain Top Arkansas,
 JNo. w. ALLEN, Register.
The Spectator., 1914-11-13
Notice For Publication No 07864
DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR

DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR
 U. $. Land Office at Little Rock, Arkansas, October 10. l9ll
 Notice is hereby given that William A. Nelson. of Mulberry, Arkansas. who, on October ], 1911. made Homestead Entry, No. 07S64. for SWl-4 SEl.4. section 22, Township l N.. Range 29 w, 9th Principal Meridian. has filed notice of intention to make three year proof. to establish claim to the land above described. before A. N. Hill County Clerk of Franklin County, at Ozark, Arkansas. on the 22nd day of November. 1914.
 Claimant names as witnesses:
 Albert Shook, Wesley Shook, G. M. Peters and George Davis allof Mulberry Arkansas.
 JNo. W. ALLEN. Register
The Spectator., 1914-11-13
Commissioners Sale.

Notice is Hereby Given, That in pursuance of the authority and directions contained in the decreta order Of the Chancery Court of Franklin County, made and entered on the 9th day. of November A. D. 1914 in certain cause (No 227) then pending therein bet ween Will Hill complainant and Cora Betts ct al defendants the under signed, as Commissioner of said Court, will offer sale at public vendue to the highest bidder, at the North door or entrance of the County Courthouse, in which said Court is held, in the County of Franklin within the hours prescribed by law for judicial sales. on Tuesday the lst day of December A. D. 1914. the following described real estate, to- wit. The East Half of the NE I'd, Sec 35, and the SW l-4 of the NV l-4 of Sec 36. all in Tp. 9, N. k. 2, west, containing l20 acres. in Franklin Coun- ty, Arkansas.
 Said described land is sold subject to the homestead and dover right of the widow, Cora Bettes.
 Terms of sale On credit Of three months, the purchaser being required to execute bond as required by law and the order and decree of said Court in said cause, with approved security, hnn int. l,a of cent per annum from date of sale until paid, and lien being retained on the premises sold to secure the payment of the purchase money.
 Given under my hand this 9th day of November, A. D. 1914.
 NJ. V. Waterfied.
 Commissioner in Chancery.
The Spectator., 1914-11-13
MENtGERIE STILL WITH HlR7
Second Wreck Saw Every Reason for Believing Story Told by the
 First Wreck.

Apropos of the "drvness" into which West Virginia has entered by ! ,rohibitlon majority of o0,000 II. L.. Kirk, the mayor of Wheeling, said:
 "Well, for the next four years, at any rate, you'll hear no spl horrible dialogues in our West Virginia bar rooms as man heard recently in Parkersburg.
 "lhis man saw two thin, pale, nervous wrecks standing side by side tossing off whiskvs one after another feverishly.
 "The first wreck, in the interval between his ninth and tenth whisky, wiped his mouth on the back of his thin hand and said:
 "I'm just up out of sick bed. I've been awful sick Snakes and pink toads and green monkeys. day and night, crawlcd all over me
 "The second wreck started. With q frown he regarded the first wreck intently. Then he shuddered and drew back.
 Why, man. he said, they're crawling all over you now New York Herald
The Spectator., 1914-11-13
LEGAL NOTICE.

Notice is hereby given that l, Joe Noll. eXecutor of the last will and tes- lament of Mathis Becker, deceased, will apply to the Probate Court of the ozark district of Franklin County, Ark ansas. at the February Q9l5) term thereof for an order authorizing the sale of the following lands lying and situated within said county and district, to-wlt:
 The east half of the southeast quar- ter of the southeast quarter of section twelve; township nine, north; range twenty-siX, West. Containing twenty acres more or less. And the southeast quarter of the southeast quarter of section one; township nine. north; range twenty-siX west. Containing forty acres more or less, and belonging to the legatees of the said Mathis Becker deceased.
 JOSEPH NOLL, EXecutor of the last will and testament of Mathis Becker. deceased
The Spectator., 1914-11-13

The Profitable Farming Cam paign is going to be of tremen- dous help to the people in soIV- ing their financial problems. 1t is going to mean money for the farmer. and for all the business interests of the State,
 Raising a siXty-tWo million dollar cotton crop in Arkansas and then sending siXty-three million dollars to other states for the necessities of life is not a money-making business and never will be. Cotton has its place in the South, and nearly every farmer will probably have his cotton patch for years to come, but depending upon cotton for his money or even a large part of it will not bring wealth or higher priced lands.
 The only truly prosperous farming sections in the United States are those in which there are a diversity of crops and plenty of livestock and poultry. In Iowa land has advanced from s and S10 per acre to $50 and $200 per acre, because of diver sified farming and the raising of chickens, hogs, dairy cows and beef cattle.
 Arkansas can do the same thing that Iowa has done and do 1t better because the soil in this State is just as good and the eli mate is far superior. We can cut five crops of alfalfa a year in Arkansas, whereas the people of Iowa can cut only three. We can get more from the land, and we can get just as good prices for our products by feeding them to livestock.
 We havn't the markets that Iowa has, but we will have just as soon as diversified farming and live stock raising are generally practiced throughout the State, The Profitable Farming Cam paig will do more for this State than any other movement ever started in it, and it deserves the active support of every man and woman in the State.
 Oliver tyne writer ribbons 39