The Bridgeport evening farmer., 1914-01-05

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 An Austrian doctor has been grant ed a patent in this country for trans planting living hair upon bald heads. But where is he going to get the l1v- ing hair. And how much younger will the man feel when he gets a new crop of hair
 Deeapoda, word in the encycIo- pedia., is defined as ian order of mal- acostracous tcrustacea in which the fourth to the eighth pairs inclusive of the thoracic appendages form uni
 ramous walking limbs; the head and 1 thorax are united to form a .cephaIo- thorax. and the eyes are stalked.
 Are your decapodas in good shape? There are still enough bars left in the wet territory of the nation for men to lean against and discuss the 1 tariff and tell big fishing stories. While in Chicago Mrs Pankhurst said she would break every law there is in order to gain her suffragtte ends No doubt of it, Emmeline, but | wouldn't you feel a bit qualnnish at murder and white slavery? A Chinese policeman is the latest <7<7;+ H. But it will be a cold day when a Jap gets a, similar job in that or any other California city. This discrfmin- ation may yet be the m cans of bring ing Hobson's phantom Japanese fleet to the golden coast
 More than twenty million dollars were spent for Christmas toys the past year in America, which is, one proof that ra.ce suicide isn't cutting such. an awful wide swatfl. Ella Wheeler Wilcox urges men to talk to their wives every day. So they would. EIlar-if they had a chance.
 It has been discovered that the I tango was danced in ancient Greece Of course the maidens of that age were arrayed chiefly in sheepskinss and did not know the use of soap, so | they. are shocked by the f1uffy-ruf- fIes Of the present age.
 The United States of America was
 jared from center to circuTnference a, short time ago when Gen Wood, the head of the Army, was thrown violently from his horse. Teddy's s to his early training.
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 That Pittsburgh man who got thirty
 days in jail for beating his wife 2.080 l times, should have been taken to the State of Delaware for his punishment. About 2.080 stripes on the bare back should have been his portion.
 Men who used to be in the saloon
 business in Ohio are not yet going to back doors and asking the cooks for 8 hand-out
 A girl will fool around two weeks in her selection of hat, but will ac- | cept a man on ten seconds notice. And it is harder to change husband than a hat.
 Our Pilgrim fathers did not play football on the first Thanksgiving day
 but they knew how to kick. just the same.
 woman in Philadelphia was not long ago awarded one dollar for the loss of her husbands affections. Won der what the other woman @values them at?
 Those women who think they have been crowded out of history should not forget Eve, Joan of Arc, Lucretia Borgia, Florence Nightingale, Mrs. Pankhurst Carrie Nation, Barbara F'ritchie, Lady Godiva, Lola, Montez, and a few others we could mention.
 Eugenists may be right, and the following of their plans may result in more perfect people in the future, but the average eugenic, girl will soon acquire a ridge of wrinkles on her manly form by wearing tight cor sets.
 Ohio has the greatest kicker yet reported. He kicked his new so1-in- law out of the house after he married his fourteen-year-o old daughter. Foot IT 41,s