The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1914-11-05
Tales of the Town

A man becomes loafer first an'
an anarchist afterward.
A newspaper man can lose a frienC
quicker than any other person or
eartn.
"The "buy-an-overcoat" movement
is enisting good many followers
just now.
If man should suddenly be
changed to woman he couldn't get
his clothes off.
Probably the most difficult thing to
efface is the trademark schoolteach-
ing stamps on woman.
We wish that some one versed in
etiquette would tell US how to eat an
apple without making noise like
rock crusher.
& & &
"Any fashions in that paper?" in
quired the good wife. EYES," replied
Jack; "but they're no use to you. It's
yesterdays paper"
Human nature is something like
this: Every man wants the newspa-
pers to print all of the news until
he gets into trouble.
& & &
If time seems to drag heavily on
your hands, cut out few political
prophecies and compare them with
what really happened.
q & &
Speaking of rules that work both
ways, while candidates fool some
people, some people fool many
if the results of the cleo
ton are any criterion.
q 4 &
Hon. Johnny Evers cleaned up in
the neighborhood of $4,000 this year,
although there are those who COM
plain that our schools and colleges
pay too much attention to athletics.
A headline in a newspaper that
caught the eye was "War Hurries
Weddings" Cynical folks might say
the sentence could be read backward
or forward and be truthful either
way.
az deserve a great deal of credit"
remarked an Emmett man, "for
persuaded my wife to sell her pullets
and keep the ROSTERS until next
spring. 1t isn't often the ROSTERS get
Respectfully referred to Walter
Knox, who is accused of cutting the
rice: "What dyer charge for marry
n folks?" inquired young man of
he judge. Dollar, plain; two dol
ars, if l kiss the BRIDE" promptly
eplied the judge.
A soldier of the Legion lay dying
N the Aisne, there was dearth of
voman's nursing and his wounds were
aising Cain; till Red Cross nurse
anne to him, laid his head upon her
nee, and the soldier gently chortled:
War is good enough for me-"
4 & 4
Flows the baby?" asked the neigh
or of the new father. "Fine," said
he proud parent. "Don't you find
hat baby brightens up household !
pursued the friend.
Yes" said the parent with sigh,
We have the electric lights going I
lost of the night now"
& & 4
Why is it that careless 7-year-old {
oy can drop a half burned match in S
n alley and burn up all the barns in
block, while an able-bodied man has !
, use up a whole box of matches to .
ct a wood fire started in a heater Ii
nat has draft enough to draw all the d
lrniture up the stove pipe? y
& z & . .
Two first graders were recently il
yerheard discussing the relative mer- "
S of the sexes. The boy, with great u
lperiority, had named long list of -
which the sterner N
* could perform, and the little girl |
,uldn't match them. Undaunted, a
owever, her eyes frightened sudden =
with inspiration of fixed argu- D
tent. swell, girls make the best p
anyway" The discussion y
lded right there.
Col. j. Slocum Ridgeley, in answer
~ the toast, "To Mother" at a ban !,
uet in the South, said: "In my youth IL
hen was teaching school in Sloan, Ia
said one morning to bright little Z
elbow: Tommy, my boy, if fam e,