The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1914-07-18
When Hodges Takes me stamlnl.

head of the university. From ali re
eorts that institution needs looking
sfter: Il. has been languishing, It il
said, and as president Prof. Hodges
hasn'tiset the collegiate world afire.
But when he takes to the hustings.
u is the concensus of opinion Of the
wiseheimers that the, doctor will mot
lave the time nor be, given the OPP
|portunity to discuss national or state
issues to any large extent. 1t IS fig.
ured that about the time he opens,
aplto tell the psychologically depress-
ed audience what grand things the
Underwood tariff has done for the
country, some heartless hick with
|whiskers tosthe belt line will arise
In his seat in the center of tile hall,
and asseyerate something in this
wise: IN
4 THAT may be all right, too, Doc,
and it mayn't. What we'd like to
know-it, how did you getit?" mean
ing, OF course, denomination. &
i&Then the'professor will be compel.
ed to explain that, or beat 1t from
the platform. twill consume cou-
pie of hours, at last, for him to talk
around this question, and by the time
he thinks he has got 1t dashed to
tie mast, as It were, another)old butt
inskyy Of the sovereign commonwealth
Twill get up and inquire: e.tAnd now,
teacher. kindly elucidate to us vote
casting yaps, who gave you the nom
lination?" Z s, 4 Fg
And so on and ad infinitem, as we
boys say at.the frat house. If 1t
isn't too late, there will 1be other
pertinent inquiries, and the meeting
b liable to last long. So you see
that the Information that some are
Itlirsting for, and the professor may
be busting vocal valve to give out,
about tile glories of the Democratic
tariff, the skillful manner in which
,,our foreign affairs have been han
died, the Astounding prosperity Which
enables hundreds Of thousands of
working men to 3loll around in idle
leisure, and a few more Democratic
benefactions Of that kind we never.
will be ableeto hear about from him
lat all. sThe. prospect is discouraging.
Chiffon Gives Knives for Presents,
] i Every reader knows that when
, Senator Chiffon gives, a present, he
gives. a knife. Every Christmas, since
THE senator has been on his present
Job, he hands. each Of the Senate page
boys q knife We have all read that
touchingly: sentimental story many a
time, But not only pages, but fell
Ilow-senators have received presents
Of, this kind from Senator Bill Of Gold
Hill. When it comes to present lie
runs to knives. There is some fanci-
ful fable Of his early boyhoodf which
moves him to give knife when he
gives a present. We used to know
| the story of his heart-touching SEN
ltiment, but confess that in the stress
| Of battle with the high cost Of liv-
ting, it has slipped the belt on our
mental machinery. However, 1t
doesn't matter particularly for the
purpose Of this paragraph. which is
TO call your respectful attention to
,the'fact that the last gift of knife
that Senator Chiffon made was to
Col. Wylie Beall, the beatific and bel
llicose banker Of Wellsburg. He
slipped sWylie a knife while Wylie
wasn't looking, and he slipped 1t be-
tween his fourth and fifth rib.
Statements Conflict
Col. Beall said in his famous in
Iteryiew that friend Chiffon offered
TO sell him s15. 900 or sec, 000; worth
Iofsstock in that Gold Hill bonanza,
that he would have been nominated
for congressman-at-large. Senator
Chiffon said, under his oath, before.
an alleged investigating committee
that he never tried to sell any Of the,
mining stock ITO anybody, nor tried
Indirectly tolinfluence the sale OF
stock to anybody. These statements
directly conflict, to be sure, but.
what's the difference? It is only a
slight matter Of perjury, SO why
should folks on theHoutside ;worry?,
The real important question which
this contradiction brings up rs, II
|Beall could have been the nominee
by buying some Of this flimflam stock
and was turned down because he.
didn't buy 1t, did Hodges, who got.
the nomination, play sthree-card=
monte with Senator Chiffon? II IS
ups to the district school debating So
cieties. With no desire to prejudice
the decision Of the judges. we wish
q: -.