Grand Forks daily herald., 1914-09-21

ever see woman who stood and tapA
ped the floor impatiently with her toe
for several moments, as you describe q
Yes" was the thoughtful reply. ~
did once"
What was she?"
IA clog dancer"
H. G. Wells, the novelist. one day
told good story of a deaf old fisher
| man who was out in a row boat one
day when a motor boat near him
sprang leak and Immediately sank
Its occupants shouted. but the old man
sat putting at his pipe and paid no at
swim to his boat and clambered
aboard. One of them yelled Indignant
ly at him. "Confound you! Why didn't
you lend a hand? Didn't you see we
were sinking?"
Lord bless YER" he gasped in re-
ly, II saw yer right enough, but
thought you was one Of them subma-
rines."
Some time ago the keeper of a mu-
scum was engaged in placing some
new curios that had just arrived from
Egypt, when he noticed the perplex-
ed look Of his attendant.
Whats the matter, Smith," he
queried. going to the assistant "Is
Yes" answered Smith. Here is a
papyrus on which the characters are
SO badly traced that they are inde-
cipherable. How shall class it?
Let me see," returned the keeper
examining the curio Just call it
doctors prescription in the time Of
Pharaoh"
class Of first reader pupils were
very proud when they were able to
spell "b-a-double l. ball" and 80 forth
The meaning of the double" was ex-
planned to them, and one day the
class came upon this sentence: up!
up! John. and see the sun rise!" One
little fellow rendered it as follows:
Double up, John, and see the sun
rise!'
Mrs. Goodolsoul was waiting tea for
her husband, who was expected home
from the city every minute.
Suddenly out in the road a donkey
brayed. The dear old lady, who was a
little deaf, beamed.
| she cried. THE master is coming
down the street. I'd know his hearty
laugh anywhere"
A teacher asked her class to write
an essay on London.
Later she was surprised to read the
following In one attempt:
The people Of London are noted
for their stupidity" The young author
was asked how he got that idea.
Please, MISS" was the reply. 1T
says in the textbook the population OF
London is very dense!" -
celebrated Judge used to be fond
of telling the story of a most amusing
experience which he declared really
happened In all his stories he used
an exaggerated brogue.
Il was,' he used to say, down in
Cork county holding assizes. On the
first day. when the jury came in, the
officer of the court said: Gentlemen
the jury, yell take your accustomed
places if We Place And may l never
tell another If they didn't all walk into
the Dock
In newly published book of remi-
niscences story is told of the late
Slr William Harcourt. He was about
to get into hanson when a friend,
passing in brougham, offered to
give the right honorable gentleman
whose avoirdupois was considerable,
lift to his town house. Sir William
accepted the offer and gave the dis
appointed Jehu shilling. Only a
oOo' SuN hoi ne asked rueIully.
Certainly" was the reply. II never
got into your cab" But, guv'nor,"
responded the Jehu. consider the
fright you gave the hoss."
There was a. man walking through
mountainous region one day selling
fish. AS he went along he called:
Fish for sale! Fish for sale!"
Going through a valley he CHANGED
| nd f1- Of
mountain which loomed into the sky
he saw tiny hut, and closer his eagle
eye seemed to discern signs of life.
Being an ambitious and painstaking
fish man, he settled his hamper Of
fish more firmly on his back and
slowly climbed up to the top of the
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