The Washington herald., 1914-01-02
Statesmen, Real and Near.
BY FRED C. KELLY.

BY FRED c. KELLY.
One OF the Newspaper correspondents
had occasion the other evening to call
up Joe Tumulty, the President's secre'
tary. at his home. Tumultys residence
calls go through the White House ex-
change, and there seemed to be some
difficulty in getting a proper connection.
The man who answered the phone was
some night watchman with an almost un-
Ineligible Irish brogue. Moreover he
was an ivory-topped person without even
gumption enough to hang up the receiver
and give the operator another chance.
He persisted IN asking lot OF stupid
questions, until the newspaper man
greatly desired to kill him.
When they finally got another connec-
ton, matters were even worse, for this
time an old woman answered the phone.
She. too, talked with brogue, and was
hard OF hearing. She could not get any
thing through her head at all.
The correspondent hung up and tried
over a different line but IL seemed as III
the telephone exchange had been moved
to some convenient crazy house. Instead
Of getting Tumulty, the correspondent
got an Italian-a fruit dealer. 1t ap-
peared.
'sTamalti?" he asked. He no worka
here"
The correspondent. OF course. was COM
pleteIy exasperated. and began to swear
in rich tenor voice. paying especiai
mention TO the White House exchange.
Then he heard a laugh and Tumuitys
voice.
1t had been Tumulty on the phone all
the time, for lie is not only a profess
sional kidder, but great mimic. He can
initiate anything from a dog to an am
bassador And one OF his favorite
amusements after Office hours is stirring
the wrath of somebody over the phone.
one night he called up Rudolph Forster,
one of the assistant secretaries al the
White House. initiated the voice OF
Cabinet officer. and pestered Forster Al
most into fit.
Mr. Uncle Joe Cannon sat in WASH
ington hotel the other day recalling the
first time he ever visited this town after
being elected t. Congress-back in ls'-.
He still thinks he was extravagant III
buying a new dress suit at that time, and
come what may, he probably always will
think So For he already had a dress
suit that he had worn not more thah
eight or nine times. Looking back on u
row after the lapse of forty-one years
il seems to Joe Cannon that he ought 10
have managed somehow or other 10 make
the old sui 90. lHe was hiAsAN
il was considerably moth-eaten on ac-
count OF infreJuent use. In those days
a resident oS Danville, Ill, would often
60 for weeks at a time without haVlnS
tG insert himself into evening ciothes'
and that was why the moths had en-
camped in Joe CannUn's conventional
black. When he was elected to Congress.
n rising young tailor OF the community
frightened him into thinking he would
have
sunset garments, even though he han
never got his moneys worth ou; of the
outfit he had. II was Uncle Joes nrst
extravaganza and IL worried him. All
the way to Washington, with his new
suit in his portmant~au, he sat wonder
ing il the moth holes in the old suit
could not have been patched In some
clever manner so that they wouldn't
show.
However. as soon as he got to the Cap
ital and went up TO the old National
Hotel, which had the call in those DAYS,
he forgot temporarily about the money
he had squandered. and set about look
ing things over. The outgoing Congress
was in session. and to Cannon the most
interesting thing In town was TO listen
u the doings Of the House itself. One
OF the first men he met was William p.
Frye. of Maine. afterward Senator but
tnen a member of the House.
Up 20 that time" relates Uncle Joe.
Il had never seen man smoke so
necessarily as Frye did. He sat in one
Of the House smoking rooms putting at
cigar nearly al the time. and / soon
found out that by sitting around that
smoking room listening to Frye and
SONS. OF the others talk ] could learn
more than | could sitting out in the
House chamber. SO I stayed about the
smoking room good deal and smoked
even mere than ] had been in the habit
OF. although I had some little local
reputation out home then as busy
smoker.
There was one thing about Frye that
! never forgot. He was the only MEM
bcr I met on that visit TO Washington
who remembered my name when / re-
turned the following December TO enter
Congress myself. l didn't hold it against
all the others who did not remember me.
but it gave me certain added respect
for Frve because he did
tCoHyriGht. 1914 by Fred c. Kelly. all rights re
scrycd.)
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