Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1914-04-01
The Meddler
eff the coat fits yoat, put 1t on"

eff the coat fits you, put 1t on"
There is man in Barton who wears
whiskers, smokes cheap pipe, lives
in the center of the village and has
nothing particular to do. whom the
Meddler intendes to get after "good
and plenty" beginning right now. L
shall give the initial letter Of his name
further on in this paragraph. That
man deserves all that is coming to
him and more. He ought to be ridden
out Of town on rail- He's not only
mean, stingy, and sour, but dirty,
low-iived specimen of humanity. The
Meddler feels that it is his duty to
! show this gentleman up, regardless OF
what feelings it may stir up in your
breast. If this item don't stir him up
we shall print one still stronger IN
nearby issue that will start things.
in the slang of the day. OF course II
you don't wear WhiSkerS 1t don't mean
you, if you don't smoke cheap pipe
are not meant, if you are not stingy
you are immune. Now I said would
give the initial letter of his name and
I meant it, | will, and more. That
initial is A and the rest of his name is
pril Fool. Yes, you thought someone
was going to get chit" didn't you?
My, how you like to read about the
other fellows shortcomings. But we
all have them, even the Meddler.
"Have you snoticed the fact that
there has not been as much soliciting
of late?' said a Barton lady to the
Meddler last week. Il really guess
your item helped US out little" she
added. Say, if 1 thought that was
true l would ask for pension. If it
is true i would ask two or three
people who have been little "sore"
on something that was said in this
column (and of course they couldn't
get "sore" unless the coat fitted) to
rise up and call me blessed.
A shocking tale has come to me
A man in town about,
Who keeps a horse for business
But doesn't clean him out.
The tattler entered the barn one day
He thought the horse on its knees,
Bnt no, the animal merely stood
At an angle of 40 degrees.
70 the owner of poor old Dobbin
A remedy | would suggest.
Apply seven parts of elbow grease
To shovel, add plenty of zest.
The Duck Pond Road Philosopher
says. "There is two kinds O. lemons,
, the kind with the yellow skin an the
Meddler. Out O. the first menshioned
) kind with the right kind O. women
drink and other things" The last
named variety is less useful, some
5 folks Think
Some folks right here in Barton
/, have developed a great faculty for
e getting on the fence when matters
political, religious, social or economic
o come up. Where their backbone
] ought to De has grown a wet piece of
t spaghetti. But as Ophelia says. "Ef
e yir on the fenze you won't git run
. over.'
q The Meddler has been told that a
well-known farmer in this end of the
r village about two weeks ago with
% several barrels of granulated sugar on
IS his sled. He would have at least
aroused less suspicion had he got the
I sugar home at some other season of
- the year.
y A citizen of one of our small Yer.
~ ~ mont towns which voted for. license
IL states the reason for the act as follows
eff we are going to stand for oul
v women folks wearing shadow and slit
II skirts and our younger women learn
e ing to dance the boil weevil wiggle
o Texas Tommy tango, the bunny hug
II the bear dance, the half-canter, the
,. buzzard flop and so on down the line
the men folks might just as we'll have
. their saloon and the whole push go te
hell together"
Which man is the most dishonest
The one who fails to give in an honest
list, the fellow who steals money from
the town or the 'fnancier.' who
sells bis mortgages to the bank the
Hast of March each year and takes a
handbook, buys the mortgages back
again in a few weeks. We suppose
lHe ldSI.HdIHeO gentlemen 90 just clear
the law. unless it may be that part OF
the law which lays man liable who
in any way avoids just taxation.
Amedee j. Massie sends communi-
cation to the Meddler which calls
me "bigoted," unjust. unfair and
un-American." Well, that's going some
but we admire the gentleman just the
same. He says what he thinks. He
seems to have been excited by the
Meddler's mention of the postoffice