davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1914-12-20
ARIZONA KICKLETS
They Always Make Something Happen Out West

he bIazed away at us with about as
many, but things finally got so hot for
him that he surrendered and came to
time. When al man drops on our sub
scription booksS we want to know the
why Of it, and If the man lives within
fifty miles of us We generally manage
to shoot him back on again.
The little affair in the Common Coun.
ell room Thursday evening does not de-
serve the dignity certain people seem
bound to give it. 1t all came about
through a mistake. Alderman Jackson
had a motion before the body when Al
derman Taber attempted to introduce a
resolution. They clashed. and each one
drew his gun, but the efficient city clerk
produced Cushman's tactics and soon
settled the case While all our aldermen
are justly jealous of their rights and
PRIVILEGES they love each other like
brothers, and would not shoot except as
last resort. Such little ripples are
not worth gossip.
Tho report that Judge Bateman was
held up the other day while returning
from Lone Jack turns out to be true.
The robber had two guns and a yell,
and his honor didn't stop to argue legal
points before throwing up his hands.
The Washington herald., 1914-12-20
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
1t Opens the Campaignof lelewith Whoops

a surprise awaited the members of the
Lime-kiln Club as they gathered at Para
disc Hall for the regular weekly meeting.
The walls had been decorated with scores
of flags and banners and there were cloth
signs reading: Campaign oh 1916. ''Whar
Do Yo' Stand?" DE Battle Bias Begun,
and Awake, Freedom" Brother Gard
ner's desk was draped with an American
flag and the. legs Of the stove and the
water pail were painted red, white, and
blue to harmonic. There was subdued
but intense excitement as the members
continued to drop in, but the real situa-
ton was not realized until the triangle
called the meeting to order and Brother
Gardner arose and said:
''FeIler-citiZens OBJ Dis Lme-kiln Club
an de United Stats: hev no doubt dat
in yo'r minds yo' am akin why dis
whenceness an what has become OBJ de
goneness which has heretofo' greeted yO'
had my ear to de groun' and heard de
boom OBJ de openin' gun. (Cheers) AS
dis Lime-kiln Club am fust in peace and
fust in wah, 50 it am fust to open de
great political campaign which am gwine
TO shake dis continent from head to heel
like q pickaninny picked out OBJ mud
hole by his mother. (Yells.) Dis am no
political club. but when de interests OBJ
a hand in. We amt lookin' fur no East
no West, no Moth, no South, but We
realize dat de bulwarks oh freedom hev
bin intrusted to US. an We am gwine to
preserve 'em or die. Uproarious ap-
plauSe.D
Bend yo'r ear to de East, and yo' h'ar
whoopin' an shootin'. It's de millions
Eittin ready to jine in de campaign. Bend
yO'r ear to de West, an yo' h'ar
screechin' an yellin'. It's de millions
gittin' ready fur a row. CWhoopsD It's
de same in de Moth an de South. De
vars has rolled around ag'in. an cherry
man from Maine to California feels dat
de fate OBJ de United Stats rests upon his
vote. Ober dar on de wall is sign read
The Washington herald., 1914-12-20
BOWSER'S TWO WEEKS
He Went That Long Without a Row.

Mr.. Bowser sat in his ofiice thinking.
1t had been two whole weeks since
there was row in his house.
This was unprecedented.
Was he growing old and absent-mind-
ed?
Was he neglecting the things that
should not be forgotten?
holding out false hopes to Mrs. Bowser?
Wouldn't she soon be taking advantage
of his peaceful state of mind?
Hadn't there been two or three indi-
cations Of late that she wanted to take
the bossing OF things into her own
Mrs. Bowser was no serf but there
were limits beyond which no wife should
be allowed to go.
\ husband shouldn't be a tyrant, but he
should rule his own house and charge
his wife with extravaganza.
Perhaps a husband should talk things
over with his wife, but he shouldn't pay
much heed to what she said.
Mr.. Bowser made up his mind that he
had been remiss, and that he must make
up for IL.
He had his dignity on when he entered
the house at the usual hour.
His attitude during the dinner hour
was eminently frozen and proper. He
had intended TO find fault with the din
ner. but 1t was SO good that he couldn't
say a word. He was fishing for some
thing, however. and by and by he found
it. He noticed a stain on the carpet
80 the whole house is going TO ruin
for the want of proper attention. No lat-
ter how much buy you manage TO
destroy it,
What's the matter now?' asked Mrs.
Bowser as she turned on him.
THE matter is that you hunted up
the ink bottle and poured the contents
on this carpet. Look at that spot over
there. Nice sight to greet the eye of
a husband. isn't it?''
This carpet is three years old, Mr..
Bowser. and that stain has been there
upsetting a bottle Of hair-dye, and though
l have used everything l could think Of
1 have been unable to take it out"
What What, You talk that way to
me-" he shouted as he sprang up.
sit down. commanded Mrs. Bowser
as she pointed at him. Now. then
want to have little talk with you. You
are dissatisfied as to the way this house
is run"
Yes, I am dissatisfied" replied Mr.
BOwser as he sat down in surprise.
Then why don't you leave it? There
is no rope around you-no reason why
you should stay here and feel yourself
n martyr
"You-you arc talking TO me-
I'm talking straight at you, sir. Every
week or so you raise a row about your
stop such conduct. II you don't I'll
gather them all up and pitch them out
the window"
'This-this is Mrs. Bowser,' he gasped
as he rubbed his eyes and stared at her.
This is Mrs. Bowser. sir. wife Of Mr..
Bowser. the biggest crank in America,
She has put up with your naggIng just
as long as she can. II there is any more
of IL you will hear something drop, There
are few little things that l want TO
The Washington herald., 1914-12-20

per ton. We burn about So much per
month. ] don't eat II or trade II on
for caramels. and yet you raise a row
every two or three weeks about the coal
bill. IL l hear another word from you
this winter about coal I'll put out every
fire and turn this house into cold stor-
age establishment
That was Mrs. ROWSer sitting there
before him-thc same Mrs. Bowser whom
he had bulldoZed and brOwbeaten for
years and years. and she was now talk
ing TO him in that fashion. IL was the
same woman sure enough, but he looked
at her as one in a dream. and her words
seemed to come from far away.
Il buy the meat and groceries,, she
continued, and ! buy as economically
as | can. ! save at least !" per cent
moro than you could. and yet you are al
ways finding fault. am tired OF II.
You either cease to talk or L cease TO
buy! You are also constantly meddlinG
with the kitchen help. and thereby
usurpng my authority. II you think you
can run the kitchen. then stay home and
do It. The best girl i have had for a
year left me yesterday because you were
always pOking your nose in the kitchen. "
-pOke-pokinC my nose?' murmured
Mr.. BOwscr as he Grew white around
the mouth.
That's what I said. You, thought
yourself philanthropist when you
snCaked down and said II was too bad
she had to work for a living. but she
called you a bald-hcaded old meddler.
''She-shc called me that, did she. Why.
the-the-
And here's another thing. Mr.. Bow
SER you come home and want TO play
cards to pass away the evening. We sit
down to play, and because l beat You
three or four straight games you get
mad and kick things about and wish you
had spent the evening at the club. l
don't know where your club is, or what
il is like. but any time you prefer II to
my society don't hesitate on my ac-
count. As a matter Of fact, you hardly
know one card from another, and should
take lessons from me for two or three
months. However. as I shall never play
with you again, it's a matter OF in
difference
The Washington herald., 1914-12-20

We were due east Of the Island of
Luzon, one of the Philippine group, and
heading down the China Sea with a
cargo for London, when we caught the
tail OF a typhoon. We were lying to and
making fairly good weather Of il when
a Spanish ship, ALSO lying to- hove into
sight. She was lighter and drove faster
to leeward. She was about a mile TO
windward OF us when first sighted, and
no great attention was given her until
1t was seen that she was drifting square
ly down upon us. As she came nearer
We saw that her crew were dancing
about on her decks like n lot of drunken
men and paying no attention TO the
storm Her foretopmost had gone over
board, and much of her canvas had blown
away. and she was being held in the
winds eye by a tarpaulin set in the
rigging \ sheer of the wheel would
have sent the Spanish ship clear of US
by half a cables length. but the fel-
lows drifted down without paying US
the slightest attention, and she did not
move by ten feet. AS she rode past we
could look right into the eyes Of her
crew. They were about thirty in num-
ber. and they yelled and screamed at us
like So many lunatics. Brief as was
the time We all noticed one peculiarity
about them. Their faces We're as yell
low dS SttlIOu' WHlle lnell eNeS appeared
unusually large and brilliant. The ship
was the Isabel OF CadiZ
Beyond cursing the Spanish crew for
a gang of idiots We had little to say.
The idea of fear Of the storm had made
them take to drink, as is often the case,
and they were going to Davy Jones with
a jag OIL. Six hours later the storm
broke and We headed our course. but
within six hours We were pitching about
on the troubled sea without way enough
to ruftie a feather. l turned in at s
o'clock that night and turned out again
at midnight for the morning watch. AZ
ter midnight the sea began to 20 down
The Washington herald., 1914-12-20

in. 'Whar do yo' stan OATS what each
an cherry man ob you' wants to keep
akin hisself till yo' feel as firmly settled
a. a COW in de Quicksands. Don't make
no mistake about it. In roligUn yO kin
wabble about from Baptist to Methodist
an hack cherry five or six weeks an be
saved in de end, but de man who sots
out to save Moth America can't do no
wabblin'. CCries of No, no:iD He's got
Ia find out whar he stands an stick to It.
''Havin' opened dis campaign wild a
whoop, We hev got to stick right to it an
close wild n yell. owe will!'D De man
who starts in to save his kentry has no
time to go fishin' or TOOst on a rail fence
Hes got to keep at work day an night,
dc bilin' Pint. eben If de watermillyon
crap am a failure an all de possums go
ubcr to de opposition. CWhoops) 1 spoke
of yo'r liberty an freedom. Dem ar our
l;uidin' principles, but dar will be other
principles TO fit in wild 'em to make up
glorious whole. CAgitatiOn0 Fur in
The Washington herald., 1914-12-20
In the Same Pen.

''one Of the boys put me on to a little
poker game" said the dry goods drum
mer. ''and went around to see what il
was like. There was about thirty re-
spectacle looking people in the room. and
one of them was trying to teach me the
value of the cards, when the police broke
in and made a clean sweep of everybody.
Next morning when arraigned at
the police court wanted a lawyer. and
there was a general laugh in the court
when his honor replied with a smile:
II don't know where you'll get one.
There are several In town, but all are
in the pen with you,"
''It was So" continued the drummer.
''and things might have gone hard with
us had il not been for the fact that the
indge was there, too, but had just step
ped out as the raid was made. Nothing
was said about it, of course, but he let
us of with a fine Of 81 each and lot Of
fatherIy advice"
The Washington herald., 1914-12-20

bullets into the front doors of the City
Hall. and his whoOps and yells aroused
but started back home in good shape
next day.
The Eureka Company started out about
a month ago TO secure our scalp ana De-
conc boss OF this locality, but after nu-
mProus failures ii gracefully threw up
its hands the other day and let 20 OF
our trail. We are not trust. but as
mayor. postmaster, deputy United states
marshal, state Senator and editor OF the
Kicker We have got wires planted TO
stay. We expect to be tackled by the
Union Pacific road next, but We have
every confidence that We shall be there
TO the end.
At midnight Tuesday, as We were
asleep in our bedroom in the Kicker Of
flee some CTitter stood on the street and
fired six shots through the window. As
the last bullet was rattllng down the
plaster We reached the window and threw
up the sash. Half a block away We saw
a man running, and he jumped high and
yelled out as we fired. Next day
around and explained that he had been
bitten by a tarantula. We think We were
the insect.
News reached US several days ago that
Maj. Baker. who resided here for year
had been lynched for killing a man In
a quarrel over a game of poker. A dozen
times over while he was among us We
warned the major that he ought to throw
things straight. He got fiushes and
straights and threes and full houses all
mixed up. and he died claiming that a
straight would knock out four aces.
some kinds Of eccentricities are permit
ted out here, but when you sit down to
poker no man is allowed to wabble.
The Washington herald., 1914-12-20

speak about. You always find fault with
the gas bill, no matter whether II is
more or. less. You either quit that or
We'll turn to tallow candles. don't
inhale the gas or give II to beggars!"
Say said Mr.. BOwser, as he looked
around the room to see IL he was in
his own house-say, IL"
And the COAL" she continued as she
waved him to silence. Goal Is so much
The Washington herald., 1914-12-20

Mr.. Bowser rose up and gasped. Then
he sat down and choked. Mrs. Bowser
came from them.
"And you talk about my extravagance
in clothes" she said as she looked him
up and down. Yes, that is a pet hobby
more for cocktails than do for gloves
more for cigars than / do for shoes
The Washington herald., 1914-12-20

Monday afternoon last Maj. Villains
son made a wager of so even up with
Judge Singletree that he could shoot a
cigar out of the mouth of a drummer
from Chicago without hurt to the
smoker. The major made a mess of it
and raked the drummer's chin, and We
understand that he had to come down
with so to settle the case. With all his
conceit the major is only a second-rate
marksman. and he'd better confine him
s~If to biIboards and barn doors.
The rumor that we had received a pub
Iic clock by freight and were preparing
to hoist it to the roof Of the Kicker
Office was set afoat by some idiot on
Tuesday. and within an hour there was
a crowd of 30 men in front Of the place.
Each one had a gun in his hand, and
each one expected TO shoot at least one
face of that clock but disappointment
and its little idioms. and we are not
investing in public timepieces. A pop
ulation who will drill bullet holes through
a plaster. Of paris bust of Shakespeare
"A town clock tick five times before the
fusillade began.
In our last issue We stated that Jim
had been warned out of New Mexico
10y vigilance committee and was said
70 have five dead men to his credit as a
bad man. 1t appears that we were mis-
taken, and We hasten to set Mr.. Watkins
right in the public eye. He came from
Indiana, instead of New Mexico, and
he broke Jail instead OF being warned
to move on. As to his record. he stole
five COWS instead OF shooting ive men.
All editors get things mixed now and
then, and for one We are always willing
TO make full apology. See Jim's big ad
in this issue and give him a call.
What this town needs above anything
else is a first-class dentist and we will
,Ileerfully correspond with any one look
ing for a good opening In fact. We
have been writing here and there for the
a dentist that his victim will begin shoot
ing as soon as the tooth is out, and
that he must get the drop on him, they
lose all interest and drop the CORE
spondence. There Is some risk, as we all
know. but there is q cartload Of teeth
waiting to be pulled or plugged, and a
dentist with sand could make barrels OF
money. For 81 per day he could hire
a man to shoot for him.
Col Childers is back on our subscrip
ton list again after a three months
absence. He stopped his paper because
We wouldn't pitch into Persia and bring
on a bloody war, and Wednesday after
noon was our first chance for rtdins
out to his ranch. lie was prepared for
us We got behind n rock and fred
twenty-scyen shots into his house while
The Washington herald., 1914-12-20

member more than half the prayer, and
| the man was mean enough to tell him
| that he sang like n crow. The sheriff
is out with q posse: but the fellow has
probably made good his escape.
Our esteemed contemporary is out with
an article this week describing the ad-
ventures of its editor with an unknown
and Would-be assassin on our streets.
| He tells how he was about to br shot
down when lie fired and wounded the
stranger and drove him of. We are the
unknown and would-be. At midnight
as we were going home from a soirec
and he was going home from a poker
room, and just for fun we yelled at him
He jumped six feet and struck a run
and every billboard in his path had to
go down. There was no shooting, and
we didn't even gobble the hat he left
behind. The idea that any one should
want to take his life makes us laugh.
We occasionally permit some stranger
with a good opinion of himself to run
us out OF our sanctum at the Kicker
office or take possession of the mayor s
room in the City Hall As postmaster
we represent the government, and the
government wants to know all about IL
before 1t comes down on the perch. A
man named Atkins, who is a stranger to
this locality, tried to get possession of
the postoffice the day before yesterday,
and we were obliged to bore a bullet
into his leg. We could have bored Il
into his head or body as well. but he
didn't appear to be a vicious man. The
leg answered all purposes, and he sends
US word from the hospital that he Will
make no mistakes in future.
We learn that the local vigilance COM
mittee at Lone Jack has been disbanded
This Is as Il should be- or, rather. the
members should have hung each other
first and thus cleared the town Of ras-
Gals.
The Grass Valley Recorder SUSPENDED
publication last week after a record of
people don't seem to want a lively news
paper. but as the only lively Item the
Recorder ever contained was a poeu on
Columbus. we think there is another side
to the story.
Monday evening last a stranger to the
Gulch named Harrison entered the Fifth
avenue restaurant and called for deyiled
crabs. and when told that the only dish
approaching them was wolf steak he
lost his temper and had to be shot in
the shoulder by the genial and enterpris-
ing proprietor. This is no town for a
kicker.
Three or four days ago old Ben John
son. the mighty hunter of Bill Williams'
mountain. heard that another war with
Spain was going on. and he came TO
town with two guns on his shoulder and
800 cartridges in his belt. When we told
him that the report was false, he went
on and got drunk and fred about thirty
The Washington herald., 1914-12-20

very fast and at o'clock there was only
what you might call a tumble on. 1t
was then that We family caught the
sound Of voices in whooping and singing
to the south Of Us. It was thick night.
and nothing could be made out, but at 4
The Washington herald., 1914-12-20

We learn that the local vigilance COM
mittee at Lone Jack has been disbanded
This Is as II should be, or, rather, the
members should have hung each other
first and thus cleared the town of ras-
Gals.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1914-10-01
Ho,D To Make The
Quick est, Simplest Cough
Remedy
much Bettcr than the Ready
made Kind and You snve ~.
Fully Guaranteed

This homemade cot n syrup is now
used IN more homes thar a..y other cough
remedy, Its promptness. ease and Ger.
lalhty IN eonquering disti cssiuq couyhs
chest and throat colds. il req. remark
able. You can actually feel it take hold
a ,dav's use will usually overcome the
ordinary cough-relieves even whooping
cough quickly. Splendid, too, for bron.
chltls, spasmOdic coup bronchial asthma
and winter coughs.
Get from any druggist 2i1 ounces of
flntx t6O cents worth pour il in mint
bottle and NIL the bottle with plain granu.
lated sugar syrup. This gives vou-at n
cost OF only 64 cents--a full pint of better
cough syrup than you could buy for 81 so
lakes but few minutes to prepare. Full
directions with Pinex. Tastes good and
never spoils.
l9u Will be pleasantly surprised how
quickly 1t ioosens dry, hoarse or til,lt
coughs, and heals the iniiamed mem.
branes in a painful cough. 1t also ffons
the formation of rhlegm in the throat
and bronchial t,Net, thus ending the nor
Eistent loose cou~h.
IN x is a most valuable concentrated
colnpound OF genuine Norway pine ex.
tract rieh IN guaiacol, hich is 20 heal
I'M 20 the membranes.
10 avoid disappointment. be sure and
AK your druggist for ''2ia ounces Pinex. /"
ahu dont accept ANYTHING else.
a guarantee Of absolute satisfaction
or mor i.oMptly refunded. goes with
this preparation. The Pinex Co, II.
Wayne, Ind.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1914-10-01
Acute Articufar
Rheumatism

The exact cause OF rhenmausm is un-
known, though 10 is generally believed to
be due to an excess Of uric acid IN the blood.
!. may be also said with equal truth that no
remedy has been found which Is II specific
IN all cases. In fact the literature OF rheu.
matism shows that there are but few drugs
winch have not been given a trial. In 'hn
hands OF one observer We md that ce rtain
drug has been used with the utmost sntis-
faction Others have found the same remedy
10 DC great disappo.4 ncnt. All phvsi-
clans however agree th every method of
treatment Is aided by q Q administration I
Sc 20 remedy TO relieve the pain and qulet
the nervous system and DR.. W. +. Schultz,
expresses the opinion Of til housands of prac-
liuoners when he says that Anti Kamnia
Tablets should be given y ference overs all
olheI rehenirs ior tho ienc' he pain in
.'- forms OF rhcuniatism. Intsr tablets can
be purchased In any quantity. They arc
also unsurpassed IN headaches, neuralgias
and all pain. Ask for AK Tablets.
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1914-10-01
\ Meeting Fridn, Night.

Local producers will hold meet
ing Friday night in the Commercial
club rooms. az which time an effort
Will be made TO curtail production
The corporation commission order re-
auiring a shutdown IN drilling opera
tons will be discussed and other mat
ters pertaining TO the oil indusir,
will he looked into. Those who al
tended the meeting et Oklahoma CT,
will undoubtedly express their Niewt
Of TIE proceedings and an intcrostins
session should result
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1914-10-01
THE REPUBLICAN TICKg~.

For Governor, John Fields Oklahoma City.
For ieutemnt Governor, Eugene b. Law
/ son, Nowata
For Secretary 1i State Marvin B. Prem.
tice, Bsrtiesyili-
For State A1ditor George W. Foster Wag.
oner
For attorney General, Walter G. Stevens,
LawtOr.
For State TIessuror, Dr. Mathis Fairview.
For State superintendent q. q. Nannest
Perry
r.. Examiner and Inspector, John s.
Noofter, SApuips.
For Chief Mine Inspector. Pat W Malloy,
Anderson
For Assistant Mine inspector, John Hall,
ror Assistant Mine Inspector, NJ j. Smith.
McAlester
For Assistant Mine Inspector, X. L. King,
Mar..
For Slste Labor Commission win NJ.
Ihsres, Musk0gec.
For Commissioner Of Charities and Cor
re. ions, Alice A Curtis shawnee
Tor Insurance mmi'iioner Fred b.
Hoyt Chande-
For President Board OF Agriculture Har
N Emerson, Enid.
For Corporation Commissioner Sh, h,.mau
III. Cherokee.
For Justice Of the Supreme Court, L. s.
Dolln.an Ardmore; A. T. Boys Oklahoma
city, Henry j. sturgs, Enid.
For tle OF the supreme Court, Zack 7.
Pyse Mangum.
For Uaited States Senator John H. Bur.
ford, Guthrie
For Congress First District, Joseph A.
For District Judge, Tulsa and Pawnee
couutleS I'd NJ. Clark, PSwnee
For State senator, +. NJ Overlees. Bar.
lesyille.
For State Representative from Tplsa
County W. !, Brooks and g. p. Harter
Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1905-1919, 1914-10-01

All day 'ddy steady stream O
friends callt congratulate Mrs.
Upton Rud ON hayin' tn forethought
{ buy Brussels carpet when she
did These a.c tNln' times fer tn
teuer who can't remember whether
he pIt sugar in his cuffas or not