davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1914-07-19
Fable of the Scoff@r Who
Fell Hard, and the Wo-
mam Sitting By %

Love, Honor and Listen. Still. it was
trying to see the once-loved Adult ca
vorting on the verge OF Dementia and
know that she was Helpless.
He sailed forth with those going to
Early Mass. and returned at the YES
per Hour caked with Dust and ninety
eight per cent Locoed.
1t seems that at the sixth hole on the
Last Round where you cross the Crick
twice. he fell down and broke both
Arms and both Legs. So he tore up the
Medal Score. gave all the Clubs to the
Caddy, and. standing on the grass
Summit of the tall Ridge guarding
the Bunker. he had lifted grimy Mitt
and uttered the Vow Of Remuneration.
In other words. he was Through.
The senile Wrecks. and the prattling
Juveniles for whom the Game was in
vented. could have his Part of it for all
time.
Never again would he walk on the
Grass or crook his Arms or dribble
Sand all over the dark and trampled
Ground where countless Good Men had
suffered.
No, Indeed.
So next day he bought all the Para
phernalia known to the Trade, and his
name was put up at a Club.
It was one of those regular and sure
enough Clubs. High East Winds pre-
vailed in the Locker Room. Every
Member was a Chick Evans when he
got back to the nineteenth hole.
Mr.. Pallzey now began to regard the
Ancient and Honorable Pastime as
compendium of Sacraments, Ordeals.
Incantations and Ceremonial Formali-
ties.
He resigned himself into the Custody
of a professional Laddie with large
staring Knuckles and a Dialect that
dimmed all the memories of Lauder.
In a short time the Form was classy.
but the Score had to be taken out and
buried after every Round.
Mr. Pallzey saw that this Mundane
Existence was not all Pleasure. He
had found his Life Work. The Lode
Star of his declining Years would be
an even one hundred for eighteen
Flags.
Wife would see him out in the Street
feeling his way along, totally unmindful
of his Whereabouts. She would lead
him into the Shade snap her fingers,
call his Name. and gradually pull him
out of the Trance.
He would look at her with a f1lmy
Gaze and smile family, as If partly re-
membering, and then say: Don't for
get to follow through. Keep the head
downright with the left-no hunching
pivot on the hips. For Cuppy Lie
take the Nib. If running up with the
Evening star., 1914-07-19

kept the secret of the cook S genius
and his cellar of remarkable Burgundy
wines. Boivin. Also / might mention. has
wine of his own vineyard in Touraine.
which he calls bourgeuil. and goes SO
beautifully with the MithridaticaI cod
fish.
Maillabu is also kidney fanatic.
not grilled, but sauce panned in Beaune
wine that costs. ] believe, So a bottle
His ducks livers-'natural. says ma
dame, not the hypertrophied organs "i
forced geese-are valued above Strasburg
foie-gras. AS to the sole Maillabuau. she
says that he has offended his best Gus
toners by refusing the recipe.
There's no sauce to that fish. she be-
gan. No. it's not dry like a fried sole,
there's slight sauce" very little-"only
two Ingredients and the beast" But what
are those ingredients?
She sits worthy, in a black silk gown
and long gold neck chain. on a KIND OF
throne where the zinc bar used to be.
Il don't know what has come over the
Paris fashionables." she protests. not
without disdain. For twelve years they
never noticed us. Then. suddenly. these
four months mast dukes and countesses
come crowding in. upsetting everything.
crying for the best tables, and annoying
our bourse custom ers~ a pest on them.
Here We are in another world. Never
workingman or cabbie stuck his nose INTO
the Ciou. which is arts hulwark and the
nursing mother of literature and the
drama The muses. smiled upon it. but
the Batailles profits were mostly Il. o.
US of gay. but hungry. genius.
The Auberge du Clou belongs to the
class of picturesque restaurants. recently
discovered by the rich as amusing Just
as they tire of their own cookery. so they
yawn at tango by professionals IN the
aisles Of the Cafe de Paris. and banjos
strummed by Imported darkeys At the
Clou the fun is spontaneous.
For eight years the place did not make
a cent" says Nine. Lise d'Urlet, the ia
nous sculptress, friend of the Bataile
couple who own it. Then. all at once, a
ing in front The rush had begun.
The Batailles hardly understand 1t YET
Hastily renting the floor above they
built a middle-age. biacAwood stairway
up and even now have not suffcient
space. -. ,-
living on Others even for ti:cic ssayett.
says Nine. d'Urlet ''Thei: o"n rastau-
rants have become so stupid tnar they
hee them. At the Ciou there = no paid
talent. no program: often nothing hap
pens at ALL which charms them as proof
Of genuineness AT most. it is the song.
horseplay, shop fooiery and dancing of
artfstes at home among themselves after
You get the best lobster in Paris at
the Ciou-according to Alexander Kahn.
late Of Boston But does Alexander
know ali the Holsters Of Paris? The one
I had was sweet and fresh. and the may
onnaise was suave and fragrant, OF a
Evening star., 1914-07-19
The Way.

MAYoR WALLACE C. NYE of Min
AS1 neapolis. whose ordinance estab-
fishing Low Shoe day made the coun-
try laugh last month. has often made
Minneapolis laugh before.
At a recent banquet a detective was
relating his strange adventures to Mayor
Nye.
That typewriter" said the detective.
was a hummer. She pulled a gun out
of her muff, shot the poor old banker in
the abdomen. and then she says to him.
DO you love me now There. Mr. May
or. what do you think of that
Quite right" Mayor Nye replied.
Quite right The way TO man S heart
is always through his stomach"
Evening star., 1914-07-19

Jigger. drop her dead. The full St.
Andrews should not be thrown into a
Putt. Never up. never in. Lift the
flag. Take a pick-out from Casual
Water, but play the Roadways. To over
come Slicing or Pulling. advance the
right or left Foot. Schlafing and Sock
with top-spin or vice versa. The Man
says there are twenty-six Things to be
remembered in Driving from the Tee.
One is Stance. 1 forget the other twen-
ty-five'
Then the Partner of his Joys and
Sorrows, with the account on the Debit
Evening star., 1914-07-19

The dreaded Thing lay outside of his
Tatting or Biology. His conception of
a keen and sporty game was Pin Pool
or Jacks Only with the Deuce running
wild.
One Sunday he was invited out to
Food Saturnalia at a Country-Place
The Dinner was postponed until late in
the Day because they all dreaded it so
much.
Friend Host said he had a twosome
on at the Club and was trying out an
imported Cleek. so he invited Mr. PAIL
Zey to be a Spectator.
If he had said that he was going up
Evening star., 1914-07-19

Your Stance was wrong; your Tee
was too high; you raised the Left
Shoulder; you were too rapid on the
Come Back; the Grip was all in the
Left Hand: You looked up: you moved
your Head at the top of the Stroke;
you allowed the Left Knee to turn. and
you stood ahead of the Ball. Other
wise. it was a Loo-Loo."
IF I come out next Sunday could you
borrow me Kit of Toolso" asked Mr..
Pallzey He was twitching violently
and looking at the Ball as II it had
called him a Name. Il got the first one
all right, and I think"
SO it was arranged that the poor
doomed Creature was to appear on the
following Sabbath and be equipped
with a set of Cast-offs and learn all
about the Mystery of the Ages between
II am. and 2 pm.
Mr. Pallzey went away not knowing
that he was Marked Man.
On Monday he told the Stenographe
how he stung the Ball the first time up.
He said he was naturally quick at pick
ing up any kind of Game. He
thought 1t would be a Lark to get the
hang of the Whole Business and then
get after some of those Berties in the
would be Pipe for any one who had
played Base Ball when young.
Truly all the raving is not done
within the Padded Cells.
He came home in the Sabbath twi-
light walking on his Ankles and bab-
bling about a Dandy Drive for the
long Hole.
Regarding the other 37S Strokes he
was discreetly silent.
He told his Wife there was more in
it than one would suppose. The Easier
the Swat, the greater the Carry. And
he had made one Hole in seven.
Then he took a Parasol out of the
Jar. ana illustrated tne tdLHOuS LUHS
Drive with Moving Pictures, Tableaux,
Delsarte and some newly acquired tech
nical Drivel. which he mouthed with
childish Delight.
Now we see him buying Clubs. al
though he refers to them as Sticks
proving that he is still a cropping Neo-
phyte.
He thinks that a shorter Shaft and
more of Lay-Back will enable him to
drive Mile. The Gooseneck Putter
will save him two on every Hole Also.
will the Man please show him an Iron
guaranteed to reach all tho way down
to the Dimple and plunk 1t right in the
Eye.
Then all the new Implements laid
out at Home and Wife sitting back.
listening to a Lecture as to what will
be pulled off on the succeeding Day of
Rest.
She had promised at the Altar to
Evening star., 1914-07-19
"oNE EVENING HE CAME BACK
INFANTWIsE,
EYECUP

.AYED SOMETHING WHICH LOOKED
LES ON IT."
won a Box of Balls from Mrs. Talbots
poor old crippled Father i'm law.
She WOULD read him like a Barometer
If he and Mr.. Hilgus. the Real Estate
Man. came home together fifteen feet
apart. stepping high and looking
straight ahead. she would know it had
been a jolly Dan on the Links
By the second summer Mr. Pallzey
had worked up until he was allowed to
use a Shower Bath once hallowed by
the presence of Jerome Travers.
He was not exactly a Duffer He
was what you might call a sub -Duffer,
or varnish, which means that the Com
mittee was ashamed to mark UP the
Handicap.
He still had a good many superfiuous
Hands and Feet and was bleeding free
ly on every Green.
Sometimes he would last as far as the
Water Hazard and then sink with a
Bubbling Cry.
Evening star., 1914-07-19

rants like the Auberge du ClOu. an art
lists refuge of which l will tell you. or
the Savoyard. at the top of Montmartre,
whose simple but immaculate cookery
was formed by bishops and cures
pilgrimage to the Basilica Of the Sacre
Occur.
The cheap wine shop fad is really
striking.
Il began by serving cabmen. Now !
serve dukes-in the same blue apron
says Pierre the waiter at Boilaive's. who
has not changed detail of his Set-up-
except to pumice-stone his hands and
soap his face to shining. Yet you feel
that he is masquerading in his necker-
chief and blue apron. because they are
so brand-new, and the part of his hair
so slick.
At Boilaive's in the Rue Geoffroy-
Marie they equally preserve the humble
zinc counter of the corner wine shop. the
bar" of Paris workingmen, from which
slops are swiftly mopped. and whose
neutral metal is not corroded by the
acids and essential oils of white wines.
absinthes and aperitifs. Yet here 1t re-
mains a mere show. and a basket Of
giant raspberries stands on corner OF
it, which cost 50 in the markets.
At Boilaive's one eats turbot, queen OF
European fishes sung in Paris by Thack-
cray and the author of Pelham 1t Is
a gift to pick a turbot in the market.
Old Mr. Sedley prided himself on 1t; and
Boilaive is a fanatic for freshness, size
age ,he says he can judge ITS age), clean
ing and all the rest. Kidneys is another
specially. done in three ways, each oe.
Iicious You will never get smiling
bit at Boilave's. Such bstro proprletors.
who are their own cooks put their whole
hearts in few dishes 1t is the secret
of their astonishing success.
1t happens thus. One day a man OF
taste or hanger-on of the rich, hears or
a little marchand -de-vin whose wife does
wonderful stuffed OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES cook
ing done with loving care. Or the nus
band goes down in the kitchen with MS
kidneys. If the man of taste nnds them
a benediction. fortune knocks at the WINE
shop door.
Not one in twenty makes good. All
over Paris are obscure corner Sroggerles
where chauffeurs and masons lick thelr
chops over a few miraculous dishes: out
amount of discovery could rouse the
proprietor to extra energy only. no"
and then. the man OF taste hits on
Boiiaive or Joanne. and the predestined
cook starts on his career Of serving the
rich.
Upstairs and in side rooms they have
furnished simply but with essential ele-
Sa1ce. in polished maple wall panels.
chairs and tables. The cabmens mise-en-
scene remains only at the entrance. And
the prices lit is laughable how soon they
learn to boost the prices' way up. Don't
you see? The rich desire ito keep out
the others. They are small places. To
keep them exclusive is half the charm.
Fled the poor cabmen. Taxi chauffeurs.
heirs of the ages. do not adopt t3er
sourmandizins habit: but there remain in
Paris some 5000 of the old red-faced
horse drivers. true gournets in essen
t-als. spending q greater proportion OF
their income on fine feeding than any one,
Evening star., 1914-07-19
*:S SSh l1ET1E9T BzAEBAEG 16 1lAEJG -


~%V
Notwithstanding which he kept on
trying TO look like the Photographs OF
Byers
II he spun into the High Spinach of
at the Right it was Tough Luck II he
whanged away with a Nibiick down in
a bottomiess PIT. caromed on a couple
of Oaks. and finally ang!ed off toward
the Cup he would go around for Days
talking about Some Shot.
As his Ambition increased. his Men,
tai Arithmetic became more and moro
defective and his Moral Nature was
wholly atrophied
As an Exponent of the more advanced
Play he was a Fliv. hut as Match
maker he was Hum Dinger
He knew he was plain pastry for the
Sharks. so he would hang around the
first Tee waiting to cop out something
Soft
4
Infant Son. just home from Military
School The tender Cadet nursed him
along to an even-up at the Punch Bowl
and then proceeded to smear His Vital
Organs all over the Bad Lands
That evening Mr.. Pallzey told her she
would have to cut down on Household
Expenses.
Six years after he gave up the Bust
ness Career and consecrated himself IN
something more important. Mr. Pallzey
had SO well mastered the battling Intr,-
cacles that he was allowed to trail in a
Foursome with the President of the
Club This happened once
1t is well known that any Person who
mooches around a Country Club for a
sufficient Period will have some kind OF
Cup wished on To him.
Fourteen years after Mr.. PaIlzev
and when the Expenses approximated
$4,000. he earned his Halo.
One evening he came back to his bag.
gard Companion. chorting infant-wise.
and displayed something which looked
like an Eye-Cup with Handles on IT.
He said il was a Trophy. 1t was q
Consoia ton Offering for Maidens with
an allowance of more than eighteen.
After that their Daily Life revolved
around the Department Store Bargain.
Mrs. Pllzey had 10 use Metal Polish on
1t to keep it from turning black.
When the Visitors lined up In front
of he Mante and gazed at the tiny
Shaving Mug. the Cellar Champion of
the World would regale them with the
story of hairbreadth 'Scapes and NOV
ing Adventures by Gravel Gulleys and
rushing Streams on the Memorable Day
when he ,PallzeyD had put the Blocks
to Old Man Wilioughby. since de.
ceased.
Then he would ask all present to feel
of his Forearm. after which he would
pull the Favorite One about Golf add
ing ten years to his life.
Mrs. Pallzey would he sitting back.
pouring Tea. but she never chimed in
with any Estimate as to what had been
the effect on her Table of Expectations.
Moral: Remain under the Awning.
Copyright 1914. hy the Mcclure Newspaper
Syndicate.)
Evening star., 1914-07-19
RESTAURANTS RECENTLY ARTS BUI
la A CENT THEN,

tripes. made with salt. pepper and trifie
of rum. Not much rum. Joanne simply
grills them. and serves with Bordeaux
mustard. If you have not Bordeaux mus
tard in its first flower, stop right there:
it is no use
The best steak in Paris" they say. is
found at Mailla buau's. in the Rue Sainte-
Anne Maillabueu removed the zinc bar
three years ago. He has enjoyed a rich
clientele longer than the others. little
coteries of bourse men and deputies who
Evening star., 1914-07-19

The dishes are kept long and lovingly
simmering. sauces that are natural es-
sences reduced down. frank, fresh. first
material, the honesty of the people dis
daining bottled kitchen aids Among the
hors-d 'oeuvres at Boivin's are vulgar ril-
Ions of Tours. which look like small black
slivers Of jerked beef. but are tender bits
Of young pork. confit in their grease after
a recipe that was old in the days Of Joan
OF Arc. One Of Joanne's dishes is the
andouillette Of Troyes, a sausage of pig S
Evening star., 1914-07-19

melting to the Juices Of the human econ
omy Laughing. but glad to heal their
stomachs" the rich rushed for jeanne s
tripes: and as one cannot eat tripes al
ways, the cook of destiny imagined other
dishes, and his place becomes a. Paris
restaurant. chic. dear. crowded with the
cream of Maxims and Paillard's.
All chefs come from the people. These
who have also served the people retain
old traditions Of the French cuisine un-
touched by cosmopolitan standardizing.
Evening star., 1914-07-19


MONG THE DANDELIONS."
ball rose in parabolic Splendor above
the highest branches of a venerable
Elm.
Just as the Face of the Club started
on the Following Through. the Bacillus
ran up and hit Mr.. Pallzey on the Leg.
He saw the blinking White Spot far
out on the emerald Plain. He heard
the murmur of Admiration behind him.
He was sorry his Wife had not been
there to take it in.
Leave me have another Ball." re-
quested Mr.. Pallzey
The Virus was working.
He backed up so as to get a Running
Start.
This time" quoth Mr.. Pallzey. 81
will push it to Milwaukee"
Missing the Object of Attack by a
scant six inches, he did a Genee toe
spin and fell heavily with his Face
among the Dandelions.
The Host brushed him off and said:
Evening star., 1914-07-19

Sterling 6 Heilig
Writes of the Latest
Fad of Wealthy in
French Capital-Cab-
mems Restaurants.
Where Prices Are as
High as Those in Great
Hotels-Tasty Dishes
That Have Made For
tunes for Their Gre
atOrs.
Evening star., 1914-07-19

y American mil
lionaire has just
informed me that
he is healing his
stomach by lunch
ing in a ch cap wine
shop. where the
pToprietor's W j ( e
COOKS for a few.
On examination ]
find that he pays
Ritz prices. but the
Evening star., 1914-07-19

real He has discovered Boivins-
On rough deal table. without CLOTH in
proximity to workingmen's zinc bar
the millionaire eats the best dishes in
Paris in company of fashionables who
engage their places two days in advance.
IL is new fad of Paris to sourman-
,.ize III cabmen's eating houses where the
cookery is too good for caAmen: so the
caomen have been edged ont and pre-
Catalan prices prevail At Boivin's they
sobcle Morue Mithridate, which used to
ce plain Goldfish of the hoase'-little
SQUARES of cod and of potato in a vulgar,
savory sauce. canaille and tasty. Eie-
CANT countesses and American heiresses
spatfer their checks with II.
The rich are tired of their sublime home
cooking The cuisine of palace hotels.
where they paste checker designs of white
lobster and black truffie on the stomach
OF e partridge. does not cheer them. The
famous restaurants are bound in cos
uopoIitan habit. their great dishes have
become ''standardized' and the rich know
them by heart
The rich want something TO cry for.
to themselves.
covering picturesque Or amusing restau-
Evening star., 1914-07-19

and with a true instinct for picking great
chefs in the bud. Jogging over Parls theS
f1nd other pastures
At Joannes in the Avenue de Chchy.
almost next door to Boivins. the rich
began by seeking Joanne's tr1pes' 'heS
are la mode de Caon. dish ~hlch
dying man could digest. so suave II Is IN
Evening star., 1914-07-19

NE day in the
pink dawn of the
present Century a
man with his
Hair neatly set
back around the
Ears and the
usual Blood Pres
sure was whizzing
through d sub
urban Lonesome
Evening star., 1914-07-19

The latter went along. just out of Po-
likeness, but he was a good deal disap-
pointed in his Friend. 1t certainly did
seem trif1ing for Huskie Weighing one
hundred and eighty to pick on some
thing about the size of a Robins Egg.
Mr.. Pallzey played Gallery all around
the Course. He would stand behind
them at the Tee and smile in a most
arid and patronizing Manner while
they sand -shuff1ed and shifted and
jiggled and joggled and went through
the whole calisthenic Ritual of St
Vitus
He was surprised to note how far the
Ball would speed when properly
spanked, but he thought there was no
valid excuse for overrunning on the
Approaches.
Evening star., 1914-07-19

ness on teetering Trolley. The name
of the man was Mr.. PaIlzey. He had a
desk with a Concern that did mer-
chandisinS in Il large way.
Mr.. Pallzey feared Socialism and car
ried his WIfe's Picture in his Watch
and Wore Plasters. In other words. he
was Normal believing nearly every
thing that appeared in the Papers.
Evening star., 1914-07-19

give up their comfortable Home among
the Friends who had got used to them
and move out to strawboard Bunga-
low so as to be near the Shambles
Mrs. Pallzey wanted to do the White
Mountains. but Mr.. Palzey needed her.
Veranda at Dusk, SO that he could tell
her all about it from the preliminary
Address to the final Foozle.
Sometimes he would come home en-.
Evening star., 1914-07-19

4 Z
-
NNWw M, Ne day in the
!: :: :. : !: !: !: ! !: !: !"
pink dawn of the
OV~ - present Century
IH q HA man with .. his
Isl 81 IA Hair neatly set
IH .sIJ IA back around the
I'm n Ears and the
80 =: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
H1N1 "a usual Blood Pres
<NSlINA ~ sure was whizzing
NfEAL1 II through sub
N.t\SS--.--~~| urban Lonesome
ness on a teetering Trolley. The name
of the man was Mr.. Pallzey. He had
desk with a Concern that did mer-
chandisins in II large way.
Mr.. Pallzey feared Socialism and car
ried his WIfe's Picture in his Watch
and wore Plasters In other words. he
was Normal. believing nearly every
thing that appeared in the Papers
While the Dog-Fennel was softly
brushing the Foot-boa and the Motor
was purrinr consistently beneath. Mr..
PaIlzey looked over into cIose-crop-
ped Pasture and became the alert Eye
Witness of some very weird Doings.
He saw a pop-eyed Person in soiled
Neslige. who made threatening move
the White Glover. with a Weapon re-
semhling the iron Dingus used in goug-
ing the Cinkers from IA Furnace
What is the plot of the Piece?" he
IL,
next
II think, replied the Veteran. Il
think he is killing a Garter-Snake"
oh, no. spoke up the conversational
Conductor He is playing Golluf,"
giving the word the Terre Haute pro-
nunciation.
Mr.. Pallzey looked with pity on the
poor Nut who was out in the Hot Sun.
getting himself all Iathered up with
One-Man Shiny
He said to q. y. r. that it took all
kinds of People to make a World The
grizzled Warrior arose to an equal At
titude by remarkins that if the dag
goned Loon had to do it for a Living
he'd think it was Work
Mr. Palzey had heard of the new
Diversion for the Idle Rich just as peo-
pie out in the Country hear of Milk
Sickness falling Meteors both well
authenticated but never encountered.
While rummaging through the Sport
fng Page he would come across cryptic
Reference to MacFearson of Drum
tochtie being up and 2 to play on
Harsis of Sunset Ho. whereupon he
would experience a sense of Annoyance
and do a quick Hurdle
He had seen in various Show Win
dows the spindly Utensils and snowy
Pellets which, he had reason to believe,
were affiliated in some way with the
sickening Fad. He would look at them
with extreme Contempt and rather re-
sent their concentrating contiguity to
the Mask, the Shin-Ciuard and the up
hclstered Grabber
Ar. Palizey believed that Golf was
played by the kind of White Rabbits
who march in Suffrage Parades. wear
ing Gloves.
Evening star., 1914-07-19

pirin into him and plant him in the
Flax.
Next morning at Breakfast he would
break it to her that the Brassie had de-
veloped too much of a Whip and he
had decided to try forty-inch Shaft.
They had Seasoned Hickory for
Breakfast, Bunkers for Luncheon, and
the Fair Green for Dinner.
Evening star., 1914-07-19

PARIS, July o, 1914.
Evening star., 1914-07-19

in a Balloon to hemstitch a couple of
Clouds. it would have sounded just as
plausible to Mr.. Pallzey of the Whole
sale District.
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1914-05-15

The fellow who tells girl he would
die for her wants to be killed with
kindness.