The Prescott daily news., 1914-12-07
SCOTTY IS STRONG
 FOR OSTRICHES.
(Being the Seventh of "The Unscien-
 tific Scientists" Letters.)

tific Scientists" Letters.)
 San Diego Exposition, December, 1914 Dear Herb:
 An ostrich is an avis struthiOnOid. Isn't that awful! You wouldn't think it, but my new dictionary says so- and l verified it by visit to the Os- trich Farm on the "Isthmus" here. Aside from that, and few other lit tie things, l guess it's all right The ostrich's chief aim in life is to separate the tired business man from his hard earned shekels, swapp- ing therefor superfuous feathers for typically feminine ornamentation on the lid of the t. b. ms wife. For that, you've got to hand it to him. He is bird indeed. The feathers are worth nothing to him. He lives in a warm climate so he doesn't need them for protection. His wings are joke and he can't fly any more than an ele- phant. But the aforesaid shekels will by food and drink and raiment-and plenty of each-for the concessionaire who has some fifty of him here at the San Diego Exposition. Believe me, that's a wonderful system-trading something you cant use, don't want and which costs you nothing, for the one thing we're all after. And with amazing regularity the ostrich gets by with it.
 He has other perfectly good points, too, this avis struthionoid Sounds pretty highbrowish-what D.. If l could put the kick into these missives that he has in either leg, could sell them for at least S10O per kick-the missives 1 mean.
 And sayl Did you ever notice an ostrich's neck? My boy My boy! With neck like that what a joy a real thirst would be! I saw one swal- low an orange. l could watch it for the longest time! And just then he was the most contented- looking os- trich I ever saw.
 I'm told that Struthy shirks care and avoids danger by the simple eXpe- dient of thrusting his diminutive head into a sandpile There isn't any sand in this Ostrich Farm-only grass-so didn't see it done. It really isn't a bad idea, though. My little Helen hides her head beneath the bedclothes and To! All is we'll But we lose that faculty, we grown-ups.
 Did you know that ostriches are sus- ceptible of being ridden? They're not crazy about it, you understand, but it's possible And in that connection I must tell you a touching little incl dent about the versatile gentleman who deletes from my communications such portions thereof as do not suit his fancy or fail to accord with his ideas of the fitness of things-who has the temerity to tell me where to get off, and gets away with it-who can make typewriter take joke and a blue pencil take a column at one stroke-our Board of Censorship, in other words,-I say this brash young journalist from the effete east strode into the Ostrich Farm recently and accomodatingly undertook to demon strate to us and to the birds how an ostrich should be ridden. He has nerve-I'll say that for him-both ways.
 There is but little more to tell and it grieves me (with reverse English) to have to tell it. The doughty censor nonchalantly mounted handsome, black Nubian The big bird turned upon him look of reproachful sur prise and then
 Say, did you ever see anybody slide down a greased pole? Thus did our Censor descend to Mother Earth-with a dull and sickening thud-as the big bird suddenly strengthened his back his neck and his legs into a perpen- dicular line.
 The ostrich has demonstrated his ability to take care of himself. The Censor is sadder, sorer but wiser. Let us all rejoice.
 And so I'm strong for the ostriches.
 Yours minus ostrich points,
 SCOTTY.
 P. s. They tell me that these os-