The times-herald. [volume] (Burns, Harney County, Or.) 1896-1929, 1914-09-05
GERMAN RED TAPE
A Most Irritating Brand Is Used
In the PostoffiCes.
SENDING A PARCEL BY MAIL.
Experience Of an English Tourist Who,
With Joyous Confidence, Undertook
70 Perform What Was Supposed to
Bs q Perfectly simple Operation.

70 Perform What Was Supposed to
Bs q Perfectly simple Operation.
In all innocence and lightness OF
heart set out one morning to send
small parcel to England from the town
In Germany where was staying. Al
the postoflce ! was confronted by
three booking Office windows, each
having q weird and formidable inscrip-
tion over t. These Inscriptions were
not TO be comprehended at n glance;
10, not wishing to gaze up at them too
long. I selected the least crowded win
dow and handed over my parcel II
was promptly returned to mo with
curt "Go to the next window" II
was Just that window specially wish
ed to avoid. being the most crowded,
but waited my turn and then made
another attempt. The official looked
at me sternly.
Have you the circularsf' he asked.
"No," replied family.
He handed mo three circulars. for
which I had to pay small sum aud
which 1 was requested to IN up. Pick
ing up my parcel, sat down TO study
those circulars. They were covered
with instructions, the language used
was magnificent. and the effect was
80 overwhelming that found It difn
cult to grasp what l was instructed
to do IL my papers We're not filled up
accurately It was not from untruthful-
ness, but owing to my limited German
vocabulary.
BY the time / had described the
parcel, the gross weight thereof In
grams and Kilograms, the gross
value thereof In marks and pfennlgs
and given detailed description OF
each article contained therein. with
its separate weight and value. felt
like an old inhabitant of that postotiice.
j had seen. as 1t were. generation after
generation OF stamp purchasers come
and 90. and still remained. As to
the weights, my idea of Kilograms
was about on par with my knowl-
edge Of definite integrals, However. l
did my best. guessed at the prob
able weight of the parcel and divided
the articles into It.
At length l came to the end, and,
feeling like a candidate at an exam
inat!on. gathered up my papers and
the parcel and went over to the win
dow. After waiting my turn handed
over the papers. The official glanced
at them. then at the parcel. and
frowned.
did you weigh the articlesT' ne
asked sternly.
"Ya-a-aw ! stammered.
''Then go home and weigh them
again. You have put them down at
half tonv'
There was no help for 1t. with n
sigh gathered up my papers and
went back to secluded corner. After |
patiently reducing all the weights |
again presented the papers. This time
they were passed, and was sent on
to the next department. where had
to purchase and I'LL up another docu-
ment / was now getting into form.
and this paper was soon dealt with.
Then. with my heart beating fast, !
handed over the parcel. II was once
more returned to me. The official said
he could not take II In that condition
1t was insecurely made up.
Now. II there is one thing upon which
I pride myself 1t Is upon the neat way
In which ! turn out a parcel. so.
my Indignation as well as
] could, assured him that Il would
be all right that It was perfectly safe
and that there was nothing in It which
was breakablc. He repeated firmly
that 1t was Insecure and that he could
not take It. SO l sadly collected my
papers and the parcel and went home
10 dinner.
1 spent all the afternoon trying 10
purchase a cardboard box OF exactly
The right proportions and some water
proof cloth to wrap round IT, l next
procured a stick OF sealing wax ana a
German seal, and by the time l had
finished that parcel looked as II II
we're prepared TO travel TO the north
pole
1t was now getting toward evening,
Ind | was feeling wearied after my
lays work. so | besought my brother
"a willing, gulleless youth-to take II
o the postoffice. He took IL 30 limo
emily that my conscience reproached
ne for not having given him u word
u warning. He was long time gone,
'ut that was to be expected. When
saw him come In my heart sank In
espair.
They won't take It like this" he
aid cheerfully.
] groaned and asked:
why notT"
There's not enough sealing wax
n it."
Not enough sealing wax2' l cried
:
NO. You must put blob wherever
be- string crosses and wherever there's =
knot" !
In desperation ! seized the sealing
'ax and worked away until l had
sed It to the last speck and the par
Ell was one intricate mass OF string :.
nd wax. Then conveyed It once :
lore 10 the postofiice II was now al =
lost closing time, and the officials
'ere In hurry to get away. ! hand
over the papers and the parcel with = :
ut word.
Two minutes later walked out OF
le postofice with Joy in my heart and y y
smile OF satisfaction on my face. | =
nd sent the parcel Off.-London FAM. y
Herald. =
LINCoLN'S STATER00M. Ii
no President Thought He Had al