The Washington herald., 1914-01-26
By FRED C. KELLY.

.StNIeSme0, Neal ana wear.
BY FRED C. KELLY.
Representative Henry ID. Clayton. OF
Alabama occupies one Of tho most elabo-
rate and spacious ONCE suites about the
Capitol. His main room 10 large enough
for q moving picture theater.
Now, II In perfectly all right and prop
er that Clayton should have q comfort
able abiding place during his working
hours He IL the chairman OF the Com
mittee on judiciary. which Is fixing TO
draw UP fine new set OF antitrust laws.
And when one sets out to regulate trusts
the least one can ask for 10 elbow room.
The Item of Offices would not be men,
toned here at all except to show that IL
one will just be Of good cheer-or even II
one Ii not Of good cheer, but sticks
around-one may get what one desires In
the end.
The question OF Offices il deeply woven
into the warp and woof Of Clayton's more
recent career. A few years ago when
the House office building was first built.
members of the House assembled one
day to draw numbers out of a hat Each
member had first looked over the fine
new building and picked out the room
he most wanted. and also a few less at
tractive rooms to fall back upon for
second on third choice. They drew lots
with much formality. and a member had
his pick OF the ofiices according to the
number he got.
1t was not Clayton's lucky day. One by
one he saw the choicest rooms marked of
by mep who had not been in Congress
haH as long as he had. BY the time it
came his turn to make selection the only
rooms available were dreary basement
rooms. the very thought OF which filed
Clayton with gloom.
His disappointment was keen. He free
" admitted that the drawing had been
perfectly fair. but that did not allay his
regret and distress Of spirit. You may
think the mere matter Of an ONCE loca-
ton is a small matter. and perhaps IL Is,
but when you have your heart set on a
thing you want II. don't you? Going TO
a circus is a trivial thing. maybe. but
you remember how you used to feel II
you missed one. II was the same way
with Clayton. He was inconsolable. All
was woe and desolation and he could see
no daylight ahead. All the rest OF that
session of Congress he kept fuming and
fretting about his ONCE arrangements
and was a morose man.
Then he engaged In another drawing.
but this time IL was not for an office
room. but in the matrimonial lottery.
And his luck had turned. He not only
got his first choice. but a beautiful and
charming woman. Immediately he began
TO take a great interest in life once more
and complained no further about his woe
full office location His friends and foes
alike breathed a sigh OF relief
Today Clayton has nothing that gives
him more JOY than the contemplation
OF the elaborate ONCE suite that Is his.
He is cheerful. gleeful. optimistic, al
most merry all the livelong day. And
IL so little a thing as mere ONCE
arrangement can shed so much sun
shine and gladness into the life Of a
toiling statesman, who would say him
nay
Representative Frank z. Doremus
chairman of the Democratic Congress
.ional Committee. used TO run little
weekly newspaper in Michigan. The
paper was not particularly prosperous
and the plant did not even INCLUDE
paper cutter. Doremus had to cut his
print paper into the proper size with a
jackknife.
But though the paper lacked certain
mechanical equipment 1t had . whirl-
wind OF an editorial writer.
Doremus was il.
His speciality was writing about the
tariff. He was seventeen years OF age
and had once written an essay on the
tariff for a high school literary society.
He therefore agreed to be the local au-
thorfty on tariff matters. When his
paper had been going for about a week,
Doremus burst forth in column edi-
toriaL 1t was about the tariff.
The next dayQhe probate judge of the
county came in. threw a copy of the
paper on the counter, and ordered his
subscription stopped.
And / was the happiest man in town. -
says Doremus. for / had found another
person besides myself who took me
seriously
One day a husky tramp printer. work
ing on Doremus' paper, got drunk and
came to the office in an ugly mood.
Get out of here ordered Doremus.
I'll give you just one minute TO get
out"
The man did not move.
"If YOU don't go out I'll throw you
out" declared Doremus, though the man
minute TO get out and thirty seconds OF
your time is already up"
For some strange reason the man got
up and moved out.
What il he hadn't gone" they asked
Doremus
We'll" answered Doremus. ct sup
pose l would simply have had to give
him an extension OF time
An American traveller who recently re-
turned from a trip to England was tell
ing here the other day about a surpris-
ingIy frank confession made to him by
Gilbert X. ChestertOn. the English au-
thor.
Are YOU Socialist" inquired the
American.
"Ah. you must appreciate replied
Chesterton. that IL would not do for
both George Bernard Shaw and my
self to be Socialists. We must be in a
controversial attitude in order to make
people buy what write
Copyright, 1914. by Fred g. Kelly. Al rights
TescHcdl
New York Hotel Arrivals.