davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24

The SpeIlbinder.-We used to stand
and listen with enjoyment by the hour
to Zephaniah Stiggins, who has Won
drouS speakin' power. He'd talk about
the eagle an the dove an suchlike
things until you thought that maybe
you yourself was sproutin' wings. He
charmed us an he soOthed us in so
wonderful a way, he made the organ
grinders who drew near forget to play.
His voice was like sweet music, sound
in high an soundin' low, an especial
ly appealin' when he pulled the tremo-
10. He drifted into politics, as speakers
didn't like him would assert in phrases
not particularly new. The editor would
frequently sit forward to his desk an
write about the literary style called
"Stigginsesque," while those who
didn't like him would assert i phrases
often do, and gave his name to phrases
would ruin all the land. The honors
that were due him we resolved we'd
not withhold. We put him into office
as a leader big an BOLD. Then we wait
ed for his accents awe-inspiring to
arise an make the whole world listen
as they echoed to the skies. But his
manner grew 50 furtive an his silence
was so grim, you might have thought
the old detecks were trailin' after him.
When we reminded him he had been
still for several weeks, says he, "A
statesman must be careful when an
how he speaks" The figure he was
cuttin wasn't near SO fine an big.
Some even had the nerve to make allu-
sions to "Old Stig." We have held
solemn caucus an we're all resolved to
see if we can't have Zephaniah as the
man he used to be. When his office
term is ended, we will bring him home
to stay. Well never take another
chance on sendin' him away. Well
keep him hitched forever though per-
haps he'll kick an balk, right here
where he can cheer an elevate us with
his talk.-Philander Johnson.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24

Put the Seeds to Him.-Representa-
tive Denis O'Leary of New York, re-
ceived a letter a time ago from a
constituent who expressed an earnest
desire for an assortment Of garden
seeds. O'Leary sent them. but there
must have been a slip-up on the part
of Mr.. Burleson's postoffice depart
ment, for q few weeks later O'Leary
received another note from the man
deploring the fact that the seeds had
never reached him.
why amt / just as much entitled
to seeds as anybody else?" the writer
demanded. 1.-TWO Of my neighbors sent
for seeds the same time as I did, and
one of them has had his in the ground
now for six weeks already His plants
is beginning to show above ground.
Is it I'm not just as good as my
neighbors?" And so on for a couple
of pages. Then at the bottom of the
letter was this brief postscript:
Them dam seeds has just arrived"
tDbSPhSho VI NeIAt
fornia, got request for garden seeds
from a woman in his district, who
wished to grow things in the ground.
Without wasting a moment Stephens
placed almost a dimes worth Of seeds
in a government envelope with his
congressional frank in one corner and
sent them off to brighten the land
scape in California. When the wo-
man got the seeds she read on the
envelope the words, 1890 fine for
private USE"
So she promptly sent the seeds
back with this note of explanation:
IT am much obliged for these seeds,
but I wanted them to use in my own
private garden, and I couldn't possibly
afford to pay a $500 fine if I were
caught in planting them"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24
humorous department.
Not Her Sort,


After he had fallen upon his knees
and kissed her hand, relates Tit-Bits,
she said:
Before l answer Yes or No. there
are some things l would like to ask
you. Do you ever drink or gamble"
NO" he eagerly replied. Il do not
know what the taste of liquor is; l
have never defiled my lips with to-
bacco. l have never uttered a pro-
fame word in my life. 1 have never
even played bridge where prize was
at stake"
She looked at him thoughtfully for
a moment, drew a long sigh, and then
asked:
Have you ever broken a woman's
hearth"
"Ah, how can you ask me that
he almost reproachfully answered. IF
l had ever spoken words of love to
another l would not deem myself
worthy to touch the hem of your
garment. l have never cared for any
one but you. l have never kissed any
woman except my mother. l have
never given any girl cause to utter
one sorrowful sigh. Yours is the first
dear, soft little hand that l have ever
held in my own. Never before to-
night have l looked into any girls
eyes as 1 am looking into your deep,
soulful eyes. Never
"Oh, dear" she impatiently inter-
rupted, drawing her hand away from
him, lit is now o'clock, and you
shouldn't be so far away from home
at this time of night. Wait min
ute. please, and I'll see if can't get
my brother, Tom, to go with you.
Your mamma must be terribly wor-
ried."
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24
Royal Pressing Club
II. ID. DORSETT, Prop.

AS warm weather comes on you will
very probably want your Light weight
Clothes that have been put away all
winter, CLEANED, PRESSED and
MENDED and put in shape Tor wear
We are especially we'll prepared to do
this work Gas well as all other kinds
of work Of this kind) and will do
your work promptly. Phone and we
will send for your Clothes for Clean
ing, Pressing or Mending.
WORK FOR LADIES
Cleaning, Pressing and Dyeing VIII
be given prompt attention and at rea-
sonable charges.
You will find our place on the Cor
ner-Main and Madison Streets-ln
the Dobson Building.
r. d. DORSETT, Prop.
I have sold all the Mules and Horses
/ advertised for sale.
Phone 149.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24
Tender Heart.-Thomas C. Logar


of Philadelphia, is sometimes pessi-
mistic about things in general and al
ways particular about what he eats
One day he went into restaurant and
after scanning the menu said to the
waiter:
Il see here you have some calf's
heart"
Yes, sir" agreed the waiter
We'll how about that?" pursued
Logan; is it tender?"
Yes, sir" the walter assured him.
Then" ordered Logan, bring 1t to
me. If there is in this world such a
thing as tender heart, l want it.
Popular Magazine.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24

War With the Press Asent.-"How
does the battle go?" asked the MeXi-
can general
"Fiercely" replied the press agent.
I'VE have just had three devastating
paragraphs, and we're now advancing
several columns of fierce description"
Washington Star.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24

A Continuous Problem.-"We sent
Gladys Ann to cooking school to get
her mind off her piano playing" said
Mr.. Cumrox.
did the plan succeed"
Yes. Now we're trying to persuade
her to study political economy so as to
get her mind off the cooking. ng."-Wash-
ington Star.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24

A coaxer for Baby.-When the doc
tor called to see the baby its mother
informed him that the medicine left
for the infant the day before was all
gone.
Impossible" declared the surprised
physician. ~ told you to give him a
teaspoonful once an hour"
Yes, but John and mother and and
the nurse have each hau to take tea
spoonful, too, in order to get baby to
take it."-Youth's Companion.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24
vicarious.-"How pale and worrie

Vicarious.-"How pale and worried
your mother looks Is she sick?"
NO. ma'am; but pas got the grip"
And is she afraid that he won't get
well?"
"Oh, no; but whenever pas sick he
worries her so that she always looks as
though she had what was ailing him"
Detroit Free Press.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24
You'll Crow Over
"GETS-IT" for Corns!

Ii Will Startle You How "GETS-IT'
Gets COrnS Every Time.
lone, two, three!" That's about as
long as it takes you to apply GETS
IT." the new-plan, simplest, surest
corn cure the world has ever seen.
Corn fussing is all over. Corns, corn
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24

Even More Deservins.-Beggar -
Mister, l amt had nothin to eat for
two days.
Gentleman-You told me that very
same story a week ago.
Begger-Oh! Then surely, boss,
you'll help a poor man what amt had
nothin' to eat for nine days?-Boston
TranScriDt
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24
REAL ESTATE

Know all men by these presents that
am prepared to give you efficient ad-
vice.
My offerings are numerous and at
tractive. Drop in and let's talk the
matter over.
John n. O'Farrell Residence--On
Charlotte Street. 5-room dwelling:
About 1-acre lot. Don't delay II
you want it,
NJ. T.. Plexico Residence-On King S
Mt. Street. Nice piece of property
and the price is right. What say
YOU?
Miss Ida deLoach Residence-On
Cartwright Avenue. Take a look:
Now Listcn-I have a beautiful lot
on East Liberty Street, part of Steele
property 100 feet front, that's
bargain for some one. See me.
Miss Rosa B. Steele 40-Acre Farm
Adjoining ]. w. Belts and others
It's up to you.
I'm at your service. If you don't
see what you want, ask me about II.
|Geo. w. Williams
REAL ESTATE BROKER.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24

Burglar Proof-"JOhn-John dear"
whispered Mrs. Timmid, shaking her
sleeping husband violently by the arm
there's a burglar in the house"
"Ok we'll let him burgle," returned
John sleepily. He can have the sidver
if he wants it. but the cuss isn't going
to rob me of my sleep."-Judge.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24

When Dad Was a Coward.-'I wish
you to understand" he said, address,
ing his seventeen year-old son, that
am still the boss IN this house"
"All right, dad" the boy replied
but you're a coward to make the
boast behind mothers back. k."-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24
Not to Fight M0xicans.

This government can, l earnestly
hope, in no circumstances be forced
into war with the people Of Mexico.
Mexico is torn by civil strife. If we
are to accept the tests Of it's own Con-
stitution it has no government. Gen.
Huerta has set his power up in the
city Of Mexico, such as it is, without
right and by methods for which there
can be no justification. Only part Of
the country is under his control. If
armed conflict should unhappily come
as a result of his attitude Of personal
resentment towards this government,
we should be fighting only Gen. Huer-
ia and those who adhere to him, and
give him their support, and our OBJ
ject would be only to restore to the
people of the distracted republic the
opportunity to set up again their own
laws and their own government
But I earnestly hope that war is
not now in question. | believe that |
speak for the American people when l
say that we do not desire to control in
any degree the affairs of our sister re-
public Our feeling for the people Of
Mexico is one of deep and genuine
friendship, and everything that We
have so far done or refrained from do
ing has proceeded from our desire to
help them, not to hinder or embarrass
them. We would not wish even to ex-
ercise the good offices Of friendship
without their welcome and consent.
Settle Their Own Affairs.
THE people Of Mexico are entitled to
settle their own domestic affairs in
their own way, and we sincerely de-
sire to respect their right. The pres
ent situation need have none Of the
grave implications Of interference if
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24
RARREp PLYMOUTH ROCKS

T HAVE Three Pens of Pure Bred
1 B. P. Rocks-strong, healthy, Wig
orous stock, and am now booking or
ders for eggs for Matching. Good at
s1.OO; Better at $3.50, and the Best at
$500 per Is. Fertility guaranteed.
M. s. CARROLL. Filbert, s. G..
8-jan 81 TT. mar Zf-zot.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24
Farm Hardware

Now that Spring weather has ar
rived and farm work Is on, you will
probably need more or less Farm
Hardware Plow Shapes, Stocks,
Handles, Plow Lines, Hames, Trace
Chains, Horse Collars, Mule and
Horse Shoes, Nails, Hoes, Shovels, etc.
See us for what you may need. We
have what you want and can interest
you in prices. If you need Port
able Forge for blacksmith work, just
see us.
Give your Mules, Horses, Cattle,
Pigs and Poultry Pratt's Poultry
Powders.
If you want the very best Flour
try a sack of MELROSE-it always
pleases particular people.
Yorkville Banking & Mer. Co.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24
ne Investigator,

A True lnvestigator.-"Are you
looking for work."
Il am" replied Flooding Pete I'm
conducting a scientific investigation.
It'd surprise you to know how many
different kinds of work dere is. I'm
goin' to git up list an classify EN-"
Washington Star.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24

No Comparison.-An Englishman and
an American were standing before the
wonders of the Victoria falls, in dark
est Africa, when the Englishman said:
Surely you must concede that these
falls are far grander than your Niagara
falls?"
What" replied the American,
Compare these to our Niagara falls?
Why, man alive, they are a mere pers-
piration."-Ladies' Home Journal.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24

The Pipe Of Wharf.-The family doctor
was paying a semi-social visit AS he
took leisurely departure he paused to
discuss with Margaret's mother the
general health condition Of the city.
We're not so badly off-compara-
lively, that is" he said. For one thing,
there are only two uncontrolled, unmit-
igated smoke nuisances in the town
From the sofa in the corner Margar-
ct spoke:
Yes, doctor. l know" said she.
Papa and Uncle Jim."-Delineator.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24

Using His Friends.-When Edison
was living in the country visitor from
New York said to him one day:
by the way, your front gate needs
repairing. 1t was all / could do to get
it open. You ought to have it creased
or something"
Mr.. Edison laughed.
"Oh. no." he said. "Oh. no."
Because" was the reply. every
one who comes through that gate
pumps two buckets Of water into the
tank on the roof"-Pearson's Weekly.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24

Eleven Prominent Practicing Physi-
clans. On Sale at Your Drug Store.
Prices, so Cts. and S1.OO per Bottle.
For Sale at YORK DRUG STORE, and
CITY PHARMACY, Clover, S. c.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24

Modern.-Drummer- you have
old fashioned barn dances any more?
Lew Lucas-Nope. Now we call EN-
garage socials.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24

1t Depended."-How long," asked the
man accused Of burglary will it take
to get through this case?"
The lawyer looked thoughtful.
We'll, my man, personally / expect
to get through with it in three weeks,
but-er-Tm afraid it's going to take
you about five years."-London Tit
Bits"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24

,313' The niZam of Haidarabad is rep
uted to be the wealthiest individual in
India. and one Of the wealthiest per-
sons in the world with a personal in
come said to amount to S2,5OOOOO
year.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24

"This 10 No Place For Crow. Her Corns Are
All Gone. She Must Have Used 'GETSLT."
pains and calluses are absolutely
done for. from the minute you apply
"GETS-IT." Forget the bother of use
less plasters, greasy salves that spread
and make toes sore and raw, little
doughnut cotton rings that press on
corns, forget knives, razors, cissors,
and the dangers of blood poison from
drawing blood. and the contraptions
and harnesses that simply make corns
worse. "GETS-IT" never hurts the
flesh, never fails.
"GETS-IT'' is sold by all druggists,
25 cents a bottle, or sent direct by Il.
Lawrence e. Co., Chicago.
For Sale by All Dealers.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1914-04-24
100000 REWARD

Will be paid to any
one who can prove
that Indian New
Discovery will not
do as represented. 1t
has cured hundreds
and thousands OF
aches and pains,
why should it dis
appoint You?
Recommended by
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1914-11-06
NEW KIND OF BEET
Sludstrup Being Raised in Pueblo
County for Stock
Feed

s. Y. Smith. county agriculturist.
is exhibiting Il good sized sludstrup
beet in his office at the Commerce
Club which was raised by Morris
Pierce on his ranch near Vincland
says the Pueblo Chicftain. The beet
weighs fifteen pounds which is triflc
abovcthe average. This beet is Il
Swedish variety and has not been
raised in this section of the coun-
Try before. While it is high in the
percent OF sugar it contains. il is
strictly a stock beet, and Tor that
purpose has no equal in the beet
line. IT is said that a field OF these
bccts will average 25 TO 40 tons to
the acre while the bccts themselves
will average about 10 pounds apiece.
They are cheaper to raise than sugar
beets since they do not have to be
thinncd and although the seed costs
a little more than sugar beets it does
not produce proportionately as much
feed per acre.
These beets make the best kind OF
stock feed because they are so sue
culcnt and in comparison to sugar
bcets they contain twice as much
fatiening substance, less carbo-hy-
drates and about the same amount OF
protein. 1t is fine chicken feed
When it is considered that these
beets do not need thinning and that
they grow to such an enormous size
and produce a heavier tonnage than
the sugar beets they will undoubtedly
be raised in this section of the coun-
try more generally than most any
other kind OF stock feed.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1914-11-06
A TIMELY QUESTION.
What Has Become of the Old
Thanksgiving Day?

Albert Payson Terhunc, in the No
vember issue OF Pictorial Review,
makes plea for the return OF the
old-,ime Thanksgiving Day, which, in
his own words has been reformed
out OF allVecognition." We quote the
following
This month. all over America end
most pitiful OF all-in exile colonies
abroad. folk are preparing to set
forth skeleton OF Thanksgiving. y
specious framework. But only 4
framework. Won't you let me supply
the colored picture OF the real arti-
Gle?
Please do. For can do it so we'll
because ! can remember very dis
tinctly the much-alivc Thanksgiving.
glory in the memory that 1t was on
a series OF such gastronomic
triumphs / laid the squarely solid
foundation OF lifelong indigestion.
If Grandma-shc lived out just be-
yond South Wilbr m-were bidden
TO a Thanksgiving dinner of today
and she should accept, ! think the
meal would break her sound old
Massachusetts heart
In the first place, there is a chance
that the dinner would start with oys-
tiers; and certainty that it would
include soup. What comes next?
Fish? No, think not. So let's get
to the turkey-our chiet arraign-
ment.
The turkey is no longer a turkey.
He is symbol. \ symbol OF a cere-
monial whose meaning has died out.
A glazed cold storage symbol. The
Modern Thanksgiving turkey-do
you know who his father was? Do
you know here or how he was raised'
Do you know how or when-he pass
ed away? Confess now that you or
dercd him over the telephone; rely
ing on 4 butchers impersonal proies-
sional Judgment! Oh find ! can
talk about the present day Thanks.
giving turkey without unwaranted
heat So, lest insult you grossly
let's pass hurriedly on.
Vegetables; Well, let's pass by
those, too. 1t is fairly sale guess
that they don't include granulatcd
mashed potatoes and tcrra-cotta tur-
nips. both patted down and then in
undated with the lashin's OF thick glib
let gravy!
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1914-11-06
The National Stock Show

Plans for the tenth National Western
Stock show are well under way. and
the Indications are that the show will
be of more interest and be larger and
better in every way than ever before.
The show will open in Denver on
January l8 The railroads are promising
low rates from all sections and there
is more interest throughout the West
than every before. Last January ap-
proximately $1,000 people came into
Denver during stock show week. 1t the
weather conditions are favorable this
number will be greatly increased during
the coming show. The premium list is out
and has been materially strengthened all
along tine line, both IN the amount OF pre-
miums and the number OF classes.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1914-11-06
+ + + + ++ + + + + + + + + I
SCHOOL NOTES
. = = = + + = + = = + = + = (

The hour on Saturday afternoon will
not be spent in STORY Telling" at the
Public Library because of the Aviation
meeting at the Fair Grounds.
Mrs. John A. Marshall has been COM
PEELED TO consult an eye specialist within
the last week because of serious de-
fects Of sight. 1t is the since wish Of the
many friends that this trouble may be
but temporary.
On Friday of this week, the physical
examination OF all pupils in our schools will
be begun. This work will be under the
personal direction Of an expert. and will
be done without expense to the district.
The student body is to be commended
for the intelligent manner in which the
trial election was conducted on Tuesday
The ballots were carefully prepared.
and the results Indicated that the young
people were well informed regarding the
general sentiment of the voters in the
community. This ballot was taken with
the view Of giving the students a more
accurate knowledge of the manner fol-
lowed in the general elections.
At the close of the second month of
school the enrolment throughout the dis
trict was as follows:
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1914-11-06
Bring Your school Children

To Ell Captain hotel. where Or. K, I.
Sapero, the we'll known eye. ear. nose
and throat specialist. will examine your
eyes and theirs free Of charge. One day.
Monday, Nov, l6. Call early.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1914-11-06
Illiteracy Among Colorado Rura
Population

Washington, d. C., Nov. 2.-The
need OF more and better rural schools
in Colorado is made manifest by con-
ditions revealed in recent census
report showing the per centage OF IL
literatcs among the native white
farming class OF this state. The hg-
ures show that the per centage OF IL
literacy in the rural districts OF SoI.
orado is 2.S and one half per cent in
the cities and villages of the state.
Colorado has 23,7S0 illiterates and
l5,76o of them live on the farms.
There are Syo4l boys and 7,l2S girls
and women on the farms OF this state
who can neither read nor write.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1914-11-06
kBgSBg5SBS5gBSBgAI|
I'm THEE
SOCIAL WORLD

A most enjoyable Halloween cele-
bration was held at the home of Mr..
and Mrs. B. W. Call last Friday even
ing. The Weitzer and Patterson Valley
Sunday schools united to make the oc-
casion an enjoyable one. The evening
was spent in toasting and consuming
weiners, playing games, ETC.. all of
which was thoroly enjoyed by an un-
usually large gathering.
Mr.. and Mrs. E. S. Woodside enter
tanned the members of Violet Rebekah
lodge at their beautiful country home
last evening. An unusually large crowd
was in attendance, for the Woodsides
are known to be ideal hosts. Games
we're played and general good time
was indulged in. Refreshments were
served and a most enjoyable evening
was spent.
Miss Bertha Ginter entertained the
Tuck-a-Batche club at one of the most
enjoyable Halloween parties this sea-
son. There were some unexpected
stunts pulled off, but after the girls re-
covered from the surprises everything
went on beautifully and the members
of this popular club again had 1.-THE
time of their lives"
Last Monday afternoon Mrs. G. w.
Lewis entertained number of ladies
in honor of her mother. Mrs. McBee.
An attractively appointed luncheon was
served.
Misses Maude Cressy and lrma Lat
son entertained the teachers of the
Liberty school at "weenie roast" at
the home of Miss Cressy on Wednesday
evening.
On Monday afternoon Mrs. Dora
Harley entertained nine little folk in
honor of her daughter Elizabeth's ninth
birthday. Games were played, after
which dainty refreshments were served
Mrs. l.. r. Fenlason had some of the
younger generation in on Monday even
ing to celebrate her daughter Dorothy's
birthday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Carol Braden were the
hosts at beautifully appointed dinner
party on Tuesday evening.