davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19

An eccentric parsonage has Just died
IN a town Ia the west Of France az the
ago of aeventy-scven. When be was
eighteen years OF age be began 20 keep
n book OF personal expenses, For o2
years ne lotted down every item
During this period he smoked 62sr
713 cigars or thus number 1862 were
presented TO him By friends For the
remaining 595,O2l he spent the sum OF
G2.0i0
lie had bought SO pairs Of trousers.
which cast him e92; as jackets and
waistcoats for e160. and G2 pairs OF
shoes for sec. He used 300 shirts
and 354 collars. for which he paid e5S.
His omnibus and tram fares came TO
esq. In IS years he drank 2S,S76 books
and 4O.3O3 small glasses OF liquor, and
spent on them El.l0i, plus G249 IN
ips.-Glasgow Evening News.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19

After this had been going on Tor sew
eral Seasons he happened TO get hold
of a Powerful Work written by Pop
ular Novelist Unmarried, who made
psychological Dissection OF a Wom-
ans Soul and then preached a Funeral
Sermon over the Dead Love that once
blossomed in the Heart OF the Hero
inc.
After he read this Tragedy OF flick
cred Romance he felt like a Pup.
He perceived that he had been In
the Wrong.
The Novelist taught him that his
Cue was to bear with the Weaker Yes
sci and to keep the Honeysuckle OF
True Affection pruned and watered by
Devotion and Sacrifice.
Therefore, he made one large Vow
10 cut out the Rough Stun.
Next Morning when the Queen OF
the Amazons put on her Paint and
Feathers and began TO beat the big
War Drum there was Nothing Doing
lie refused 10 enter the blood
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19
DIFFER AS TO IDEAL WOMAN
Should She BE Plump or Slender, IL
Question over Which There
10 Controversy.

One OF the London papers has put
the question 10 rs readers. "ls the
slender woman or the plump woman
the ideal type?" II arose from dis
agreement among the physiological
and artistic authorities. The Amerl
can doctors have declared that the
plump woman Is the standard, while
the English artists say that the thin
woman approaches more nearly to the
normal type "There IS no question" q"
writes one. that the new figure, long
and willowy, the result OF the modern
athletic movement, is superior in ".
tality and natural grace to the old
short and stumpy figure. The tall,
thin woman IS freer and more healthy,
and Is a better comrade for her hus
band"
Another says: Surely there is a
golden mean between the plump and
the meager, Let a woman aim at
keeping her mind active and her body
NJ, and she win find that she can have
a good fgure"-which seems to me
highly Illogical Who has not known
women with the most active OF minds
and Of bodies whose figures, according
10 the received standard, are absolute.
" "dowdy?" "A Woman Of Forty
writes sensibly, why not recognize
the fact that there may be several
equally good physical types? The girl
OF twenty may properly be SLIM while
the woman In the thirties looks quite
as normal, II she is plump. ."-Leslie's
Weekly.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19

Horny Cabot Lodge, in his Early
Memories tells a number of good an
ecdotes. Perhaps the best Of all is
the legend which Oliver Wendell
Holmes is said to have placed on his
door when he began practising as a
physician: THE smallest fevers thank
fully received and gratefully acknowl-
edged" Another notice that was put
on a door is mentioned by Mr.. Lodge.
It was on the door Of Mr.. Bvarts,
when, as secretary of state, he was
besieged by applicants for consulates
and other minor diplomatic posts, and
it read: Come ye disconsulate. :"
That, one hastens to admit, is the an
ecdote, and nobody will pretend that
an anecdote is necessarily true,
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19
Unknown but Common Germs.

Measles and chickenpox are the
commonplaces of every household;
but their germs have eluded the most
elaborate attempts at detection. Back
in the eighteenth century Jenner con
quered smallpox with vaccination; but
the most industrious search for 30
years has disclosed no trace of the
smallpox microbe. Medical men deal
with an unknown agent today, just as
jcnncr did 100 years ago. Reed and
Carroll showed US how to conquer vel
low fever; no one. however, has sue.
ceeded in imprisoning any micro-or'
ganism Of the disease. Scarlet fever
one of the most contagious diseases
kaown, has also successfully hidden
its secret. Pasteur, who discovered a
way to control hydrophobla, searched
patiently for its organism, but did not
find It. Typhus fever, the scourge Of
American cities so years ago, still pre-
walls in attenuated form; but no one
has isolated its agent. Trachoma, a
disease introduced chiefly by immi-
grafton, has also so far concealed its
definite cause. se.--Worlds Work.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19
THE NEW FABLE OF THE HONEY
MOON THAT TRIED TO COME
BACK.

Once there was an undivorced
Couple that would get up every G. M.
and put on the five-ounce Mitts and
wait for the Sound of the Gong
Each was working for the Champion
ship of the Flat and proved to be a
Glutton for Punishment.
Every time he landed crashing
Hay-Maker on her Family History she
countered with a short-arm Jolt on his
Personal Appearance.
Both would retire to the Corners
breathing heavily, but still full of
Combat.
He loved to start out the Day by
finding in the Paper what a Professor
connected with the University of Chi
cago had said about the American
Woman being vain and shallow Par
asite with a Cerebrum about the size
of an English Walnut.
She would retaliate by reading aloud
Special in regard to Husband go
ing after Wife with AK, while under
the Influence of Liquor.
After which, for Is or 20 minutes,
the Dining Room would be just as
peaceful and quiet as Camorra Trial
Sometimes he would get First Blood
but Just as often she would fiddle
around for an Opening and then
Zowie!-right on the Conk and him
Stalling to escape further punishment
When Nightfall came they would
still be edging around the Ring,
whanging away. for each was too
Game to be a GUTTER
Their Married Life, which started
out with American Beauty Roses in
every Vase and a long Piece in the Pa
per, now settled down to Thirty
Years War with all of the Attendant
Horrors.
The only time the Dove of Peace
really Lit was when they had Com
pany.
Then they would Dear each other
until the Premises became Sticky and
she would even coax up a Ripple OF
Fake Laughter when he pulled some
Wheeze that used to go Great the Year
they we're engaged. But the Moment
the last Guest closed the Front Door
the Dove of Peace would beat it and
another domestic Gettysburg would
drive the Servants to Cover.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19
snseoh Made to Dead Man.

Karl Gimpert, a concert agent, who
died at Berlin few days ago, left the
whole of his estate to a priest, with
the following reservation:
Il consider that death is a private
affair, ard therefore request that no
one except the priest to whom / leave
my property shall accompany my cof-
fin to the cemetery, where he will de-
liver an address"
This clause Of the will was observed,
and the priest made a speech over the
open grave A public notary, who
stood at q distance as a witness that
the terms had been fulfilled, was the
only other person present.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19
THE NEW FABLE or THE LIFE or
THE PARTY.

One Night a Complimentary Dinner
was giyeS 10 a Captain OF Industry
by some Friends looking for orders
The Chairman OF the Arrangements
Committee was a popular Wine-Fush'
er. consequently the volunteer Search
Parties were out for Three Days AFTER
gathering up the Dead,
Along about 10:3O, when every Per
iect Gentleman was neatly stewed ana
each Chandelier was doing a sinuoua
salome In time with the Hungarian
Orchestra, a Man connected with the
Iobblng Trade got up TO say Few
Words.
lie was keyed to Concert Pitch and
The Audience was Piped and all the
old sure.hre Bokum of a Sentimental
Nature simply Killed them in thelr
Seats.
When he Concluded, the hilarious
Bun Brothers, with the mussed-up
Hair and the twisted Shirt Bosoms'
arose TO their Feet and waved Nap
klns and gave the Orator what he de-
scribed to his Wife at A. NJ. as A
Novation.
Another Coed man was spoiled.
After lJoiaian made this goshawful
fit With the Souses he became con
vinced that he was an After-Dinner
wit.
Gus Thomas and Simeon Ford had
aothing on him.
Whenever he found himself seated
AZ a Table with otner People and Food
being served he Uegan 10 suck Loz,
snges and classify his Anecdotes and
uy to appear Unconcerned.
All the time he was simply waiting
Tor the Main Fluff TO come up from be
hind the Chrysanthemums and say,
we have with us this evening.
Then for the quiet Introduction, lead
ing up to the sparkling Mot and the
Tremolo Stop pulled all the Way out
on the Pathos and a couple of Depews
to put them in a Good Humor, con
cluding with a Hypodermic OF Hot
Mush
If the Bunch sat back and refused to
Fall for the Wartime Favorites he
would console himself by telling
around that he was up against the
Low-Brows.
He knew that he was a Dinger, be-
cause he remembered how the Mag
pificent Assemblage stood and cheered
him for five Minutes.
Therefore his Voice sounded to him
good deal like the Boston Symphony
Orchestra playing Rubinsteins Melody
in F.
Whenever People sat down in front
of the decorative Canape Caviar and
got ready TO endure the Horrors OF
another Hotel Gorge, they would glance
across the Snowy Expanse of White
dotted with plump California Olives
and cold, unfeeling Celery, and seeing
Herman seated opposite, would re
mark, "Stung!"
He could not have been kept in his
Chair with a Ton of Coal in each Tail
Pocket.
And if The Ladies were present that
was where he worked in the Bird
Calls and ordered out the Twinkling
Stars.
According to the Expectation Tables
Of the Insurance Actuaries, probably
he will Stick Around for 80 years
more and never find out that he is
Pest.
MORAL-Those who bemoan the
Decline of Oratory should remember
that Oratory never was known to De
cline.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19
Lono.pslsyed Postcards.

During the removal Of an enamel
plate from a letter box outside the
post Office az Stanley Road, Tedding.
ton. England. three postcards dated
October. 1891. were found wedged be
tween the plate and the frame Of the
letter box
Although the cards we're much DIS
rolored after their 20 years rest, the
addresses on two OF them were de-
ripherable. and they have been de-
liyered
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19
GRAY Cake.

One egg we'll beaten, one cupful
sugar, one teaspoonful butter one
cupful milk, two cupfuls -four, one
cupful walnuts, two teaspoonfuls bak
ing powder, one teaspoonful vanilla. A
very rich and inexpensive cake. {
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19

such pains 3 IN ~ y
sides, and terrible
backache so that 1
could hardly stand.
/ took six bottles Of
Lydia r. Pinkham's
V eRetable Com
pound, and now / can
do any amount Of
work, sleep good, eat
good, and don I have
a bit Of trouble 1
raaou,v,aud I udfa u
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19

Wright's Indian Vegetable Pills are sold
with ard without so able sugar coating.
They regulate the bowels, invigorate the
liver and purify the blood. Adv
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19
Not That Klno.

Don't you think you ought to be
more wide-awake about the medicine
YOU are introducing?"
"To be wide-awake about 1t would
queer the whole business. II ls cure
tor insomnia"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19
Elennlsh Salad.

Cut up any dried fish or herrings
into waferlike slices, put them in a
salad bowl with potato, lettuce, cold
carrots, cut into dice, and very few
spring onions. Pour mayonnaise
over this and serve.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19

Pinkham's Vegetable Compound TO
every suffering woman. Mrs. HARRY
FISHER, l642 Juniata Street, Philaael-
phia, Pa.
Another WOmaD's Case.
Providence, r. I.-"I cannot speak
too highly of your Vegetable Compound
as it has done wonders for me and /
would not be without il. had dis
placement, bearing down, and backache,
until could hardly stand and was thor
oughly run down when ] took Lydia p.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. II
helped ne and / am in the best of health
at present. ! work in q factory all day
long besides doing my housework so you
can see what it has done for me. give
YOU permission 10 publish my name and /
speak Of your Vegetable Compound TO
many of my friends. Mrs. ABRm LAW
SON, lz6 Lippitt St., Providence, X. l.
Danger Signals TO Women
are what one physician called backache,
headache, nervousness, and the blues.
In many cases they are symptoms Of
some female arrangement or an iniiam-
matory, lucrative condition, which may
be overcome by taking Lydia b. Pink
ham Vegetable Compound. Thousands
of American women willingly TESTIFY TO
its virtue.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19

The man who can look prosperous
and happy when he is neither will ul-
timately come out on top.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19
Accounting for II.

"Snifkins has a screw loose"
Maybe that is why he is always
trying to make himself tight"
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19

Red Cross Ball Blue, much better, goes
farther than liquid blue. Get from any
grocer. ADV.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19

Don't follow your inclinations unless
you know where they are leading you.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19

Smile on wash day. That's when you use
Red Cross BAH Blue Clothes winter than
snow. All grocers Adv.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19

Use Roman Eye Balsam for scaiding sen
satlon IN eyes and Inflammation Of eyes OF
eyelids. Adv.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19

Worry is part Of the price a man
pays for living.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19
WOMAN COULD
HARDLY STAND
Because of Terrible Back
ache. Relieved by Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE Compound.

Philadelphia, Pa. eel suffered from
displacement and Inflammation, and had
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19

Half the truth may cause more trou-
Bile than a whole lie
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19

Worms expelled promptly from the human
system with DR.. Peerys Nermfuge Dead
Shot" Adv.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19
Danger Signals TO WomeI
What is CastOria.

TASTORIA harmless substitute for Castor OIL Fapgod Drops and
~ Soothing Syups. It's pleasant It contains neither Opium Morphine nor
other Narcotic substance Tc age its guarantee destroys Worms and S
Fesnes For mere thirty years has been in constant r the relief
Custpion Euonc7 Wind Coq all Teng Troubles and Daa Il
regulates Stomach and Bowels amats the Food giving heJ I'd
natural sleep. Cldrens Panacaa-Ihe Mothers Friend
The Kind You Have Always Bought and which has been in use r over
30 years. Las borne the signature Cas Fletcher and has been made under
his personal SUPERVISION since its infancy Allow deceive you this
All Countert limitations Ju-as-good but Experiments that tribe with
and endanger the health and ChdnEpence against Experiment
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19

Electric signs let out some brilliant
remarks.
The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, 1914-06-19
>H&MMlNNIlL> >+.l>eo TO,

ram cal & s0-acre farm in Wexford Co, Mlch.
run 0Hh& WellimprOved ana good producer.
Will sell at bargain price and ON easy terms. kor
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1914-11-03

regard to each nation everything
about its constitution, administration.
the state of political parties. finance.
ihteiiectual culture, agricultural and
mineral resources. forestry. manufac-
lures. supplies OF God and fuel. rail-
ways. postal service. telegraphs. tele-
phones. roads. canals. and the books,
and magazine articles re-
iating TO military affairs.
Ihe captains next step was his
transfer to the historical section of the
Great General Staff. Here a minute
study Is made of the history OF war.
every campaign is examined not only
from material available in books and
printed reports. but also from the
original diaries and journals of Off
GERS. Upon the facts contained in
these ,nnumerable records essays are
which deal with every con
celFabl question concerning army or
SANITATION n the handling Of troops,
the employment Of the various arms
and the strategy of campaigns.
one branch of study alone remained
before Capt. Won Herder could emerge
as a completely trained officer. This
was the map division, or, as il is gen.
orally called, the Typographical Sec
ton of the Great General Staff. Here
are produced the finest maps in the
world. Many of them are on such a
large scale that every road, every foot
pain, every bridge, even every house
outside the limits of q town, is indi-
Gated.
So at the outbreak of the present
war Capt. Won Herder found himself
at the front. his vast knowledge n
experience at the disposal of the com
handing general Of one Of the armies
which was flung across the Belgian
frontier. No doubt he will give a
good account of himself unless a
stray bullet should in a single in
stance reduce to inert dust the ca
pable individuality upon which sc
much training had been lavished.
Now For the Great Trial.
Regarding the military organiza'
ton of which Capt. Won Herder is tn
product the real test of it's efficiency
in war has only just begun. Battle.
: have been won and lost, Heath ha'
r reaped a rich harvest, the WOUNDED
$ crowd the hospitals, captives by tn
. thousand have been disarmed an,
1 sent into exile, cities have been de
stroyed. ruin and disaster have oyer
T taken tine peaceful multflude; yet i
it W. as the world has learned t
I believe, Germany'S certain eXpecta
: ton that Teutonic valor, backed b
o all that science can supply, Woul
prove irresistible to any conceivabl
opposition, two months Of war hav
p sOWn many seeds of doubt in the fiel
of confidence.
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1914-11-03

More PrecautiOn Should Be Taken to
Make Contact impossible.

A writer in the Scientific American
who was on hand at one of the re-
cent accidental electrical deaths feels
that many Of these family robbing in
cidents could be easily prevented. 1t
was the old story Of the 2OOO-volt line
not being a sufficient distance away
from surrounding trees, barns, etc.
The unfortunate victim was caught
while engaged in the work Of trim
ming a tree, the 2OO0-volt line being
substantially in contact with the tree.
Aside from these occasional and too
frequent accidents, the writer has
noticed that there is a grounding at
treetOps; sparks may often be seen
passing between the wires and the
branches of the tree.
With the knowledge that higher
poles are more expensive n that I'M
derground onduit are very costly,
the writer would still suggest that
every municipality granting right Of
| way for a ~high-voltage line should re-
Quire such wires to be separated from
all surrounding objects by a distance
of not less than 8 or 10 feet. This may
| mean the use of higher poles at parts
Of the line or even lengths Of insu-
lated cable, but the cost would be
Offset by the consequent freedom from
| line loss, danger OF breaking wires,
| anu StllI HIOIC, III INC saving VI VOL
| liable civilian lives. The public ought
to realize that the same wire which
may only be 3-16ths Of an inch in
diameter and look very innocent, is
capable Of transmitting many kilo-
watts instantaneouSly to a human
body and comprises, in fact, a high
power death-dealing electric gun. Two
thousand volts at only one ampere is
equivalent to the force of more thar
two horsepower; applied electrically
to a small portion Of a body, it acts
much like a bullet as far as its power
effect is concerned.
A transmission line engineer say
that foolish huntSmen constitute Z
menace to high-tension Transmission
lines, because with the cOwardl,
braver< Of ~nonpublicity they shoot a
and hit the life and line-saving in
sulators. So far has this menace pro
ceeded tina special steel-clad bullet
proof insulators have had to be de
signed. The repair Of such a .ligl
tension line is no child's play, n tn
foreman takes considerable responsi
bility when he sends back word to tn
power-house that the line is clear
Should a single lineman remain OIL
the pole when the 1920 OF highe
voltage supply is turned on, instan
death is a probability.
Again, it should be said, Respect
don't fear, electricity. but use ever
p~recaution for safety" 1t is not SAT
to have a loaded gun pointed at
good citizen: it is no safer to expos
: him to the bare or insufficiently insu
r lated electric CUR" The ues OF cleo
: tricity is entirely safe if only 1t
properly transmitted and applied
misused it has no mercy and spell
/ death.
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1914-11-03

a remarkable capacity was uenon-
strated recently at the frs perform
ance of a new locomotive bought by
a Western road. 1t hauled at a rate
Of IA miles an our fully loaded 30
ton gondola cars to a length OF one
and six tenths miles. The train a
to be started with the help Of other
locomotives to avoid pulling out the
dra wheadS.
The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1914-11-03
Used Ground Hog Machine.

Siler City Grit.
James (. Smith. of Route /. last
threshed his wheat crop of fifty
or so bushels by means Of an old
fashion ground hog" machinF. He
was unable to get the thresher he
wanted last and SO he waited
and did his own threshing with the
above mentioned ancient machil 2
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-05-21
LAD IS INJURED
IN BUGGY CRASH
A. L. Larson and Swear Old
Son Figure in Collision
With a Wagon.

A L. Larson. 1918 Third avenue, an
ice cream manufacturer. and his B.
year-old son had a narrow escape from
serious injury when the buggy in
which they were riding coIlided with a
heavy wagon at Twenty-sixth street
and Fifth avenue at $50 last evening.
Mir. Larson was on his way to Moline
to deliver goods. He was riding in a
single buggy AS he approached
Twenty-sixth street. a wagon drove in
front of him. A street car and an
automobile were approaching from the
east at the same time and hemmed
him in. Before he was able to stop
the horse he buggy crashed into the
heavy wagon. throwing his son out of
the buggy onto the pavement 1t was
first thought that the 10y was serious
ly injured and he was carried into
Shields grocery store and a physician
summoned. An examination showed
that he sustained only a few minor
bruises and cuts in the fail, and today
is none the worse for the experience.
The buggy was badly damaged and
the horse received several cuts in the
collision.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1914-05-21
OUTDOOR GYM OPENED
FOR MEMBERS OF "Y"

The outdoor gymnasium, or play
ground. at the Y. NJ. c. A was info2
mally thrown open yesterday without
the aid of music or oratory or fire.
works. For several weeks Physical Di-
rector Clevett has been in charge CT
the work of preparing the ground and
getting il into shape for use, and his
efforts were rewarded yesterday when
the time came that il was possible to
step out on the grounds and play the
first game of tennis. The tennis courts
are provided, one of which will be used
for yolleyball as well as for tennis.
The business mems class initiated the
outdoor yolleyball yesterday evening.
and IL is safe to say that the grounds
will be in constant use from now on.
A schedule is being prepared. so that
boys and men may use the place at
h MS that will accom1lodate al with
out conflict. The use of the play
ground is a part of the privileges of
the physical department, and no extra
charge is made for it.