davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corpus Christi caller and daily herald. [volume] (Corpus Christi, Tex.) 1911-1917, 1914-07-02

marry Archer M Cadillac Man Ais,
haidlcs tho wi ,hiia Truck us p,,.
pies fhono 1893 block n. north
Corpus Christi caller and daily herald. [volume] (Corpus Christi, Tex.) 1911-1917, 1914-07-02
Auron,oBlLes

f'N'l aud fit's Auto Livery r,r.t
V''"aS Autos. rromp Service. sel
|h'parral fhout III. Block East
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08
5ReezA 5UzARR& ByElls RarkqfBmer
SHE EXPLAINS HOW IT is THAT
HER BOSS STILL REMAINS SINGLE

"Most important matter of business
said Perkins. "Algcrnon may, no doubt
be in love with you, but when Perky
the Great has an idea all else must wait
Put on your hat, Suzanne"
"Now, waltz l said. Il don't know
whether I've brought my marrying hat
with me today or not. Why this sud.
den matrimonial inclination, Perky!"
Income taxi" said Perkins, like a
shot out of a gun. Greatest idea ever
thought by Perkins the Originator. Vas,
wealth in sight. How can a man re-
duce his income tax?'
Earn less" l suggested. That's how
/ escape mine"
by marriage" said Perkins, waving
his arms How much may a single
man deduct before figuring income tax!
Three thousand a year. How much
may married man deduct? Four thou.
sand year. One thousand a year pei
wife. Result, enormous demand for
wives from now on. Every one will
want wife. Those who never married
before will marry now. Immense cali
for unwed females. What does Perkins
do? Creates the Perkins Prompt Wife.
Supply Company. Supplies wives at a
moments notice. Contracts with all un.
married ladies that they will not marry
except by permission of Perkins. Per.
kins corners entire available supply oi
wifcly raw material. Those who would
reduce their income tax must come tc
Perkins"
"Boshl' l said, sliding my chair up
to my desk again. IF that's the idea
why don't you corner me and sell me to
Algy? Why do you want to marry me
yourself?'
How could Perkins advise income
tax-reducing marriage if unmarried
himself?" asked Perkins. Consistency
is a jewel. Perkins, unmarried, can't
talk; Perkins, married, can talk. Mil
lions of unmarried males, $50 commits
sion per wife; Perkins the Originator,
incorporated"
perky" l said, go back and sit
down! If every man in America be-
came Mormon and every Mormon
wanted hundred wives, and you had
every possible wife signed up. you'd
lose. How much is the income tax
rate? One per cent. How much does
married man save per wife? Ten
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

crooked path that led to 1t. But it was
hard to find even in the bright moonlight.
Like everything else in the vicinity it was
overgrown. But she could explain torn
bridesmaid. I see it all now. Carl. You
clothing more easily than red eyes. Wa
ter was necessary. She must get down!
But she did not know that one spring
the gentle slope directly above the beach
had slid into the river at high water,
leaving a bare brown bank ten feet high.
The weeds and bushes hid the break un-
til she was upon il. With a cry she
pitched over the edge. and lay inert and
senseless on the shore below.
A man alone in a boat floating lazily
on the breast OF the stream. heard a
scream and saw a flash Of something
white. The object lay stin where it fell
There was no further sound nor sign OF
life, but he knew 1t must be a woman,
and she had had a dreadful accident. He
pitched his cigar into the water and
picked up the oars. With strong, swift
strokes he reached the bank. and hur'
ried to her. As he knelt beside her and
drew her head onto the pillow he mao
made OF his coat, he recognized her.
"Its Caroline! Poor little girl! To find
her this way after all these years"
Miss Ellis was slowly regainins hei
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

champion declare one day that she be-
lieved some person had put a piece Of
glass in the teachers heart like the
wicked queen di. to Snow White, and
IL there was any way Of getting the
glass out she believed Miss Ellis would
wake up and be a trump. Really, you
know. she isn't so old. girls! It's just
her wayr'
Yes! There was a piece of glass! 1t
had been there since the day she had
read the notice Of Carl Wilson'S marriage
to a Western girl. That day she had
locked her ring in a box with his letters.
The key was now rusty. 1t had never
been used since.
Below her an oar in a lock made a
peculiar grating SCUM. Suddenly she
sprang to her feet with- cry as though
from physical pain. The little sound had
bridged the eighteen years since the last
time she saw him. That night had been
exactly like this, moon, music, and all.
And as they sat there on the bench de-
claring everlasting love, some one had
taken out a boat. The tiny sound brought
it all back. The piece Of glass was turn
ing in her heart making great gaping
wound that pulsed and throbbed with
pain. Romance was not dead.
She sat down suddenly, trembling and
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

hall where Ned Hawkins was having q
most unseemly and undignified verba
quarrel with the angry mailman.
Eight months later Johnny Hawley was
again sitting before that wide and cozy
hearth with a cup OF tea in his hands
Philippa was lovelier than ever. Johnny
kept stealing covert glances at her per-
feet profile as she bent over the spirit
kettle. which was proving a bit refrac-
tory in one OF those obscure ways which
are all q spirit kettles own.
"Oh, I never heard of anything finer
nor more unselfish," said Philippa sud-
denly.
John pretended great ignorance.
I've heard all about it-what you've
done for Ned said she. You had a
perfectly dreadful time. didn't you. and
it was simply awful some OF the things
he did and said about you? But you
stuck it out and you made a man of
him. 1t was splendid. You must feel
awfully good about il.
81 don't" said Johnny.
You're not still wretched?"
"I most certainly am"
We'll. what's the matter now?
I'm not cured. I'm still in love"
with YOURSELF"
Bother it. no! You know I'm not and
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08
PLACING AFFECTION

copyright 1911
Johnny Hawley took his second cup
OF tea. absent-mindedly put in two Jumps
of sugar, which he never used, and
stirred it thoughtfully. The fire cracked
on the wide hearth, and never had he
seen Philippa look so altogether adorable
as she did that blowy March afternoon.
They had just come in from brisk
spin in Johnny's latest car and her
cheeks still glowed with beautiful color.
LAS I was saying" said Johnny. with
a sidelong glance at Philippa and trying
TO hold his voice to its usual conversa-
tional tone, I've been very, very
wretched of late"
Have you?" said she. At think know
what's the matter" she hazarded.
do your" asked Johnny. Lets hear
your diagnosis OF the unfortunate case"
You're in love" said she, very de-
mureIy, and Johnny in his Joy OF the
moment started so violently that he all
but upset his tea.
Say, you're some little old mind
reader. Philippa," he declared. How'd
you guess it?''
ITS too easy" said she with a. little
sigh. Anyone who knows you at all
could guess that about you Of late.
Johnny"
Johnny Hawley turned toward the fire
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

to hide his grin Of eminent satisfaction.
Why, hang it. here he'd been scared half
to death of Philippa, afraid to propose to
her. although he'd known for years
there was no other girl in the world for
him, and here she was at the crucial mo-
ment, helping him out-actually helping
him out and making II easy for him.
Johnny was still smiling beatitues as he
turned back to the girl again.
! That's dead right said Johnny.
Anybody could have guessed 1t. couldn't
they?"
NO reason why not" said she. 81 can
even tell whom you are in love with
Go ahead" said Johnny. Don't let
any false modesty stand in your way"
He set down his cup. The moment
Philippa said those words he would
scurry around that table and take her
in his arms and tell her how terribly
afraid and how terribly uncertain he had
been. For Johnny Hawley had not the
least doubt as to what the name Of the
lady would be.
What therefore was his surprise when
Philippa said very calmly:
THE reason you are wretched Is be-
cause of the person you're so much In
love with, Johnny, and that person is
yourself"
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

weak. She covered her face wretchedIy
with her hands and hot tears trickled
through her fingers. Why had the old
love come back to torture her?
A storm of sobs shook her For the
first time she was crying for her old
lost love-the love that had robbed her
Of her youth and happiness-the love that
she had schooled herself into believing
she had never wanted.
Finally the sobbing ceased, and she sat
quietly listening to the music. Although
the pain in her heart was torturinS her.
she seemed to be more at peace with her
surroundings. The gayety Of youth did
not seem so foolish. The beauty of the
night appealed to her. and she began to
feel in tune with everything.
But it must be getting late. The young
ladies' would soon be looking for her to
take them home. She could hear an oc-
casional motor Of departing guests.
Then she thought Of her appearance.
1t would never do for the '.Bossir' to an
pear with a swollen nose and red telltale
eyes. She would hunt some cold water
to dash over her distorted features.
The, river. of course! She knew of old
that the beach here was covered with
smooth little pebbles and the water was
clear and clean. She knew. too, Of the
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

a tango gown so she can tango with a
man who don't have to pay her board
bill, No, Perky" l said sadly, 1T
won't work. Marriage for income-tax-
reducing purposes is a rosy dream. The
kid in the misht uniform hasn't set up
that card at the side of life's vaudeville
stage yet. As sweet reward for as
Stunning the cares of married life, $40
a year is a wet dishrag in the face to
the bachelor man. Three dollars to the
doc. for a eugenic certificate, SI.5o to
the county clerk for the license for the
long fight, S to the parson that drops
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08
Bv OLIVE ROBERTS BARTON

shattered senses. She did not remember
the fall. nor how she got there, nor even
the dance. But she was realizing acute
ly that she was hurting all over. and that
some man was trying to help her. She
knew it was a man. She smelled to-
bacco.
She opened her eyes and sat up. then
staggered to her feet when she recoS-
nized him.
"Carl"' she gasped.
His answer was irrelevant. Thank
heaven, you're better. I was just goins
fof help. 1t seemed that fate was goins
to play me a scurvy trick and let you
die the minute had found you.
Here. Carrie, you can't stand up yet
Sit here on my coat Ill you feel better
There, that's it. I'd ask you to rest your
head against my shoulder, too. but
know 1t isn't any use just yet. I want
to explain things a little, il you will lei
me. May I, Carrie? First of all. I want
to tell you that am not married and
never have been
IL can't understand. Carl? Not mar
ried. Why, the paper said"
May / explain il ALP
"Yesw
He drew a tiny bit of worn yellow pa
per from his pocketbook. This y th'
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

possibly do anything the least bit dis
tasteful to you
Then Johnny suddenly remembered that
Ned was Philippas second cousin or
some thing of the sort, and that Philippa
had been very fond Of him before he
started his famous downward plunge. He
thought deeply.
.'What'd you think OF me IL did sue
ceed in making Ned pull up bit?" he
asked.
"Your reward would be in the feeling
you had of having done something really
worth while for once-in being really un-
selfish. for realize it's going TO be a
particularly disagrcesble task straight
ening Ned out
Johnny took his : hat and stick. said
goodbye. apologized for the cup he had
so awilwardly broken. and went down to
the club. He sat there for a long time
staring out of the big front window.
thinking deeply and turning many things
over in his mind. Then he saw Ned
Hawkins coming up the steps. none too
steadily-with two Of his closest and most
disreputable cronies. Johnnie got out OF
his chair, squared his shoulders, rolled
up his eyes as IL he said he knew he was
acting the fool but should persist in that
course. nonetheless, and went into the
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08
THE FOSSIL

Dear knows, she would never volun-
tarily have come back here of all places!
The Seminary was near enough to per-
init her to visit 1t whenever she liked.
But until tonight she had avoided It.
Why the faculty had picked her out she
couldn't imagine. There was pretty Miss
Smiley, the little teacher of English, who
delighted in v necks, shadow lace waists.
and tango slippers. Why couldn't they
have sent her?
Then It struck her with cruel force. 1t
was her affinity for high necks and
boots, perfectly proper sleeves and skirts.
that made her the ideal chaperon. She
had sat and watched as long as she
could. then slipped away. She smiled
grimly when she thought how well the
bench would be patronized II they knew
Of II. She had scarcely been able to
find It herself for the wild growth
around II. Her idea in seeking It was
not to dream. She merely sought quiet
and rest. Yes, romance was dead! She
knew perfectly well that her self-pos-
session. unresponsiveness, and carefully
scheduled life had won for her the title
of Fossil among the girls. She was
a GOOD teacher. but no one loved her, al
though she had heard one staunch little
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08
By HARRISON SMITH

never was. You know who It is I'm in
love with. It's you"
She smiled brightly and flushed a
little.
y''oh yes. I've known that all along.
too" she said.
did you know it that time I was
here last spring. when you sent me pack
ing on Ned's trail?'
Yes. / think So
Johnny looked really irritated.
Then why didn't you let me know IL,
ard not keep me in all this miserable sus-
pense?' he demanded.
1T was for your souls good" said she
demurely.
My SOULS good has been pretty well
| taken care of lately by Ned" said he.
Il don't think any one will accuse ms
of much self love after what I suffered
by. with, and from him. And so long
as my affections must be placed some
where. and I've stopped lavishing them
Upon myself. it seems to me you might
let me lavish them on you for a little
while-say for the rest of eternity or
something like that. Is il bad ides?"
I've heard of whole lots worse" said
Phillipa, rising from her chair as Johnny
with a joyous whoop dashed about the
table towards her.
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

announcement Of your marriage to Harry
Cromwell, cut out OF a Brownville paper"
She took it, puzzled. But il was Jane.
my sister. who married Harry. remem-
Der one of the papers did make a mis-
take. But you might have known 1t was
4 mistake! Why didn't you ask some
one?' Then she flushed. She had be-
lieved what she read of him and had
made no inquiry.
II was away out West. I believed II
when read it, for thought Harry loved
you. Then had the notice put in about
myself. and saw that you received It.
Oh. Carrie, the fool have been! I have
wronged US both, I did not know until
yesterday that you were not married. I
came straight here-but my train got in
too late 10 go to you. I thought you
would be asleep. / was waiting until
morning. Can you forgive me. dearest?
Let me make up for it all by devoting
the rest of my life to you. I love you
better than ever. dear. Tell me you still
love me-"
She closed her eyes as though to shut
out the misery of the dead years. Then
she smiled.
"Yes, Carl" murmured the Fossil. and
he kissed her.
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

A dainty Sevres cup was smashed and
a goodly quantity of perfectly good tea
was stopped about promiscuously as
Johnny, who had half risen from his
chair. sat down in it again with rather
too much suddenness.
Philippa seemed not to have noticed
the little accident, nor the look of utter
blankness which leaped to Johnny's
handsome face
You're terribly in love with yourself,
Johnny" she went on calmly. you
think only Of your own pleasure and
comfort. You have altogether too much
money for your own good. It's made
you dreadfully selfish and self-centered.
Wherefore the ensuing misery"
You mean / should do things?" he
asked weakly, aware from her pause
that something was expected of him con-
versationally.
Exactly"
''well. III give away more Of It," said
he. Whats your pet charity now. Phi
lippa? Tell me. and I'll write out q
regular old whale Of a check for it
one that will really make your eyes pop
out"
She laughed softly.
"Oh, Johnny Hawley." she chided, AL
ways a point of view like that! You
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

think just giving money. when you have
oodles and ood!es of it-more than you
can possibly spend yourself-mesns be-
ing unselfsh. You wouldn't miss the
money. You'd forget ten minutes after
you'd given Il. You'd never feel the
difference. That will never cure your
wretchedness. You've got to give some
thing of yourself-something personal.
something really worth while. before ever
you'll feel any better"
Johnny stared gloomily into the fre.
"How?' he demanded languidly, for
the truth OF the matter was Johnny's
mind was not very much on the ques-
tion in hand at the moment.
The girl puckered her pretty brows.
There's Ned Hawkins she said mus
ingly at length. ''Ned's going an awful
pace. Money won't help him any. be-
cause he has too much Of 1t already. But
personal work will. Ned's young and
foolish and "a bit of personal work with
him might make a man out of him."
Johnny scowled.
"oh. that silly fool?" he questioned.
THE quicker his kind go to the devil.
the better for all concerned. 1 couldn't
do anything for him."
TT would be disagreeable. wouldn't it,"
she said mockingly. Il forgot you couldn't
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08
Copyright, IsL)

Copyright, IsIL)
Miss Caroline Ellis sat alone In the
moonlight on the old stone bench above
the river.
According to her feelings, everything in
the world was young and joyful and full
of romance ard hope except herself. 1t
had been years since she sat here on the
old seat. In some way she felt now that
she was akin 70 it. It was not only an
cient and forgotten like herself. but they
both knew the same secret. Rather 1t
knew hers.
The music noated down to her from
the dancing pavilion that had been built
for the occasion on the site of the old
school, near the new mems college at the
top of the hill. But instead Of making
her heart beat faster or causing a rest
less tapping Of her decorously high-but-
toned shoe. the continuous melody an
noyed her. She lay back listlessiy and
wished the foolish young ladies from the
Seminary, whom she was chaperoning.
would call her to 60 home. 1t must be
midnight! But she knew they would
stay as long as there was music to dance
to-
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

steel-frame building next door, and ten
trolley cars speeding to get out of the
way of fire engine that had just tel
escoped two street pianos and Saliva
ton Army band, but, believe mel I
can't stand Willie boy who carries his
cane to work just for the fun of carry
ing it home again.
Algy is the sort of real thing that
sends out for the evening paper at 10
a. m. to see If the linen collar style has
changed since he read the ads in the
morning paper. If it has, he utters a
blush of shame and does not dare look
at his reflection in his manicured finger
nails until he has the new kind of col
lar on his neck. Honest, if / married
Algy I'd expect to have TO brush his
hair in the morning. Nix on thatl A
girl who has had perfectly good lit
tie shop-window education, like me, can
do all the swell-dress business one fam
lily needs. / don't want an example; l
want a chance.
So that's Algy, the junior stockholder
of our business, and you can tell I've
given you the right dope about him
when l say that when the directory
man came in the other day and asked,
"What is the style of the frm?" said,
"Algy is" instead of perkins the Orig
inator, incorporated" Algy is the man
that goes out and gets bloated pluto
Gratis to put money into the schemes
Perky thinks up. Perky is the man
that thinks up things for the coupon
cutters to back. I'm the little red
head that sits and pounds the typewrit-
er, to make a noise like busy Office.
Pm a sort of 'What-is-home-without-
another" attachment for Office use.
Algy is the style, Perky is the brains,
and I'm the business atmosphere.
When Perky came in yesterday and
pushed his hat on one side of his head
and took a seat at his desk and put his
feet on it, l knew he had thought,
but far was it from me to guess what
it was. Business had been on the to-
boggan for month with US, for Perky
hadn't thought of a thing except the
Perkins Patent Cackler, run by clock
work, to put in a henyard in cold
weather. Every FIVE minutes the Cack-
Ter would cackle like a hen that has
laid an egg, and Perky said that when
the hens heard it they would think some
other hen had laid an egg, and then
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

dollars. Much obliged for the Kind in
vitation to become Mrs. P, but l won't
accept you under false pretenses. The
wife reducing income : tax business
won't work. Who would marry to
save SIo?" 49,.
"Oh, sayi wouldr' said Algy.
"Who, with common sense" | said.
would marry to save ten plunks? Save
$40 and get a pair of iced feet along
your spinal column. Save SIo, and get
up in the middle of every night to put
out the cat. Save Sro, and spend half
an hour every eve. hooking lady into
The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

/ they would be ashamed of themselves
and would go and lay eggs, too.
l thought it was a good idea, and SO
did Algy. sut when Algy went out to
get some plutocrat to put money into
it he found that all the really rich
owned stock in cold storage warehouses
and were against more eggs. So the
Patent Cackler cackled a couple OF
times and went out of biz. So, when
Perky came in, in that thoughtful mood,
Algy just sat at his desk and held his
breath, and l hammered the keys like
business atmosphere getting double
pay for overtime, when her best fellow
is waiting for her at the foot of the
elevator. Perky thinks best when the
business atmosphere is on the job.
All at once he jumped up and walked
over to me.
Suzanne" he said, "are you mar
ried?"
"Geer said, "do l look as wor-
ried as thats"
II ask" says he, "for information.
Are you married.
Not yet" / said.
"Goodp he said. "Put on your hat.
You're going to be-immediately"
Nov, wait" l said. Il don't pre-
tend to be inquisitive, Perky, but when
| was born ! made it rule never to
get married on Thursdays unless ]
knew who l was going to marry. Un-
less it is business secret, I'd like to
know who the choice of my fond heart
is. Small matter, but it just occurs to
me. If it is any trouble"
,, "You are going to marry me" said
Perky. Get your hat on, and we can
have it over in time to write the pros
pectus this afternoon"
1 saw Algy's head rise over the top
of his desk, and he looked quite an
noyed. My heart was beating so rap
idly it felt like a six-cylinder motor
climbing hill in first speed, but l did
not like the look on Algy's face.
Hold onl" said Algy, coming over
to my desk. Hate to interfere with
business, Perky, but if there's any mar
rying going to be done, with Suzanne
as the lucky bride, l claim prior rights,
and a caveat, and copyright. I've al
ready spoken for her hand"
you've yelled for it," l said. "And
what did you get? Go on, Perky; I
love to listen to YOU