The Washington herald., 1914-06-22
DER GERMAN CoBBIER.
II Was the Drug Clerks Pointers.
NJ ~ nEAn


How can I be sharp" ] says.
"It vhas as easy ash easy as some
grease In dis country eaferbody yhas
oop to some leetle schemes. You must
be oop, too. look at your sign. und he
reads, 'Hans Jacobs. Cobbler.' Vhell.
who cares for dot? Does somebody stop
und wonder who Hans Jacobs vhas? Not
bit of il. II you vhas sharp you shall
be somebody else"
But ! can't"
"oh. yes. you can. shall make you
a sign und he yhill read, Der Sherman
Count My brudder vhas a reporter. und
he shall put II In der papers dot you
vhas a count from Shermany who must
mend shoes because you haf lost all your
money. In two days one hoonered peo-
pie vhill come to your shop. II vhil be
romance. you know. believe in one year
you shall be a rich man"
But / vhas no count" / says.
'Nefer you mind about that. Maybe
you vhas better ash fife counts. II vhas
der advertising and der peesness you
vhant Schemes. Hans, schemes-eafer-
pody vhas oop TO schemes, und IL you
doan' come along you vhas left"
Vhell, II looks all right. und l vhas
glad. und in three days dot piece vhas
i'm der paper und dot sign vhas oop. Dot
paper says vhas once a rich man in
Shermany und play billiards NIT der king.
but I vhas poor now und haf to mend
shoes for lifng. II vhas a splendid ar
ticle. und makes me proud, und ash
queek ash l open my shop in der morn
ing a woman comes in nit a shoe, und
a man comes in for a cement patch. More
ash dwenty peoples stop on der sidewalk
und look in by der window to see der
Sherman count at work. In one day l
haf feefteen shobs und make FOUR dol
lars und dot drug clerk hits me on der
back und says:
Hello. old mans. but didn't tell you
how she vhas? II vhas all in der leetle
schemes You keep right on, und you
shall roll in gold
1t vhas all right for one day. but der
next morning a man comes in nit a
shmile on his face und shakes hands und
says:
Count. how you vhas? don't see
you for dwenty years. / vhas teeckled to
meet you. How vhas der countess und
der leetle countems? Don't you remem-
Der me?'
Il can't say do
Why. count. vhas dot Baron Rlop-
infeldt who used to lif next door to YOU
in Shermany. und We used to drink
cocktails und shmoke together Vhas l
changed so mooch? l should know you in
one minute. You vhas der same old
mans
''VheIl. do you vhant some shoes fixed?'
says.
"Oh. no! My shoes vhas all right. but
shust call in for dot two dollars you
borrowed OF me in Shermany. need him
in my peesness shust now. I didn't know
where you vhas till I seen him in der
paper. Come down nit der sugar.
But 1 don't know you in Shermany."
says.
Look oudt. count, II somepody calls
me a liar he vhas six months by der hos
pital! must haf dot money"
"Vhell. II some policemans doan' come
along / vhas a licked man. II vhas a
narrow escape, und maype II doan' pay tn
be a count Pooty dueek a woman comes
at me und says:
Count. how you lose all your fortune?'
BY some stocks" I says.
"Oh. by some stocks, Ell? Don't dot
emperor of Shermany take all your money
und drife you oudt because you lofe a
poor girl?''
Not exactly"
Den you vhas no romance, und shall
go by some odder cobbler,"
In ten minutes a loafer came in. He
doan haf no shoes to mend, but he
shakes hand und strikes me on der back
und says:
Hello! old Count Jacobs. but how you
vhas dis morning? 1t vhas good for
some sore eyes to see you"
Il vhas all right I says.
'Of course, you vhas, und so vhas I |
Doan' you remember dot dog you bought |
of me in Shermany? He vhas a hound /
dog. und he vhas ten dollars, und you
doan' pay me yet. Dor vhas all right, !.
howefer. You can pay me next week !
but We vhill go oudt dis mornin'. and /
you shall buy me drink und talk aboudt
old times"
/ says I vhill be excused, but dot .
loafer calls me a liar Und shakes his /
first under my nose und makes a great .
row. II der butcher doan' come. I vhas
smashed all to pieces. / doan' git oafer .
bein' scared when in come a girl. She /
vhas a nurse-Eirl. She reads in der pa
per aboudt dot Sherman count, und she |
looks at me und says:
"Ah. it vhas too bad. too bad, Sooch
a fine lookln' man, Sooch ears und ewes
und nose. Count. vhas only a young
girl, but l vhas true-hearted, und shall
marry you und help you to be a great
man again.
But vhas married. says
"Vhell. we shall elope together und IF
on some desert island"
But how can We? / must mend shoes"
Count Jacobs" she says, do YOU
spurn some young girls life? II you do,
beware.
My wife comes out Of der back room nit |
der broomstick und chases her oudt OF
der shop. und it vhas bad times for me
for half an hour. doan't belief IT pays
to be a count undI belief take dot sign
down when in comes a man for a cement
patch. He doan' say mooch till der shob
vhas done. und den he shpeaks:
"Vhell, count, you has a pooty good
cobbler. Dot patch vhas almost invis-
ible. / belief II vhas der inwisiblest
patch efer haf put on. How mooch
vhas- charger"
''Dwenty-fife cents"
But hom mooch to me?"
''Shust der same
But how vhas dot? You vhas royalty,
und vhas royalty, und shall .haf some
discount Maybe you doan' know who
vhas? I vhas der king OF Bavaria. /
came by you because you vhas a count.
shall pay fife cents for dot patch"
1T vhas dwenty-fIfe"
You vnas a fraud"'
It vhas fight IL dot drug clerk dosrr-
come in to sec how I vhas. My wife
scolds, her shildrens cry, und I vhas
l SAYS to dot clerk
''Vhell,~ I was some count. und you see
now it vhas. I doan' do some peesness
10 Duy a mousetIap."
Look at me till see your eyes" ne
says.
Il look at him, und pooty queek he
throws oop his hands und shouts:
"Ah, see how she vhas. l nefer look
It your eyes before. You must take dst
sign down lund be Hans Jacobs again
awful queck or your peesness vhas
Knocked oudti''
k,E