The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1914-04-27
"A FIDDLE AND A CIRCUS
BY MICHAEL J. PORTER.

10 BY MICHAEL J. PORTER. .
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
The gossips of Gloversville had it
that Deacon Pegram, widower. and
Mrs. Mary Moreton. widow. were en-
gagged to be married.
The gossips were a little premature.
The couple had been counting for a
year, but they were not engaged yet.
With all respect for the widow. 1t may
be said that it wasn't her fault. Dea-
con Pegram was careful. prudent
man.
When the deacon married he select
ed a woman who looked so meek and
humble that he believed she would not
resent box on the ear occasionally.
The first time he started the boxing
game he discovered that he had made
an awful blunder. It was his ears
that got the cutting He was, there
fore, going slow in regard to the
widow.
Both the deacon and the widow
were members of the same church, but
there was a difference in the way they
lived their religions. The deacon be-
lieved in all sorts Of hell-fires for
man that went out to gather buckle
berries on Sunday, or halted to see
the end Of dog fight on any week
day, and the widow figured that she
could even attend straw-ride or q
barn dance and yet secure her golden
harp when the time came to call for
It.
The deacon knew that she had lib
eral ideas, but he had let that matter
alone. All being ready at last, he
called to bring about the climax. At
the gate he was almost turned to
stone. He caught the strains Of a nd
die from within the house.
The deacon braced against the
shock and knocked on the door.
The widow opened 1t. She had the
fiddle in her hand as bold as brass.
why good evening, deacon"
He glared at her in silence.
II was just practising my exercises.
What's the matter?"
"That-that fiddle!"
Yes. it's fiddle, and I am going to
learn to play. You seem astonished."
"A fiddle here in this housed" he
gasped. 1.-THE Widow Moreton de-
scending to such depravity! Why
why"
II don't see your point, deacon"
she said, as she laid the instrument
aside. What is there wrong about
my learning to play the fiddler"
1T is played at dances!"
1T you came here this evening to
kick up a fuss over harmless fiddle,
you can go away again."
II can, and will! Thank heaven, 1t
is not too late! We are not pledged"
"And I, too, am thankful for that"
And Deacon Pegram stalked out.
After week he thought to strength
en- his position by going to his pastor
and asking:
Pastor, doesn't our religion teach
US that the fiddle is thing to beware
OF"
mo, I can hardly say that It does"
was the reply.
And 1t isn't one Of the wiles Of sa-
TAM"
mo more than the piano or the
harp"
But II a woman learns to play the
fiddler" persisted the deacon.
Many Of them do"
But, pastor, the Bible don't mention
that they have fiddles in heaven. It
only speaks Of harps."
II know. Brother Pegram, but I'm
not so sure that they didn't call I'D
die harp in those ancient days"
The deacon went home and kicked
the woodshed door because the dog
wasn't handy.
The good man struggled with him.
self for a couple Of days and then de-
cided to meander past the widows
house. He would not stop, but just
meander. But he did stop when ne
reached the gate. He was going right
on when he saw that the upper hinge
was loose He was gazing at it when
the woman came to the door and said:
ooh, deacon, are you going to take
me to the circus next week."
what" he shouted; and when
she had repeated her query he ex'
claimed: "The fiddle first and the
circus next"
"But what's the matter with the cir
cus?"
whats the matter with everybody
going to the bottomless pit together!
Widow Moreton, this Is too much-too
much"
"But l shall go by myself"
And 20 she did, when the day came
and the deacon was so mad about II
that he wouldn't even stand at his
gate and see the elephants go past
He continued mad for three days and
then went to his pastor.
did you preach sermon against
that circus last Sunday? l was not
feeling we'll, and was not at church
"Why, no, didn't" was the reply
ibid YOU warn the people that satan