The Washington times., 1914-01-28

[ to get up. Father never eats much
! breakfast, anyway.
If perchance there IL a maid in the
house. it's quite likely the husband
trainerette enjoys the fruits OF hel
handiwOrk and continues business Of
blissful snooze.
or IL Friend Maid lights up the gaso-
lene tank and has forgotten to fill the
tank, he Is first emergency aid when
the hurry call comes.
With the prompt precision of a fire
horse. Husband is one the job. II he has
mastered the preliminary courses In
wife-pleasing sufficiently.
A Non-complaining Husband.
That detail accomplished. he is back
into the dining room to his art leather
bacon and his roycroft eggs. He dis
poses of these without comment, and
thereby wins another upward peak on
his efficiency chart.
Next act. Office setting. Busy hus-
band. Conference with boss and pros
pective customers. Telephone rings.
''Oh. Billy, l want some ribbon
matched 1t will onlJ' take minute
for you to run around the corner and
get it for me. The clerk will know Just
what l want-yes, yes. l must have 1t
this evening. or /. can't finish my gown.
Get it myself?-why, you br-hoo-hoo-te"
Business Of tears. while husband drops
important deal to buy ribbon.
If at this point husband is. apt to be
bit rebellious about having his busi-
ness affairs interrupted, just remind him
that ''woman's place is in the home"
She has to be there to answer the tele-
phone.
Brute Is Handy Word.
Also remember that the expletiVe
Brute :" accompanied by eopious f1nw
of tears is a handy weapon, both on the
aggressive and the defense. DO not IN
so open and above board as plain, SEN
sible talk about a misunderstanding. II
husband should ever discover the truth
about woman she might as vel hang
her halo on a hatrack
And what is more dangerous. il might
set husband to do some real thinking.
No, the proper tactics at this juncture
is to keep him guessing" Let the idea
that woman is an eternal mystery" soak
in thoroughly. It's your meal ticket.
work it properly anything that is in the
heavens above or the earth beneath will
be yours-theoretically.
However don't let the victim of all
this ever suspect for a minute that he |
isn't head of the house. This is a fatal !
ence' thing-on the surface at any rate. |
that even approaches good |
common sense savors of masculinitv, and /
thereby endangers your feminine bloom.
Women should by all means be pro-
tected from straight from the shoulder
Acting on the philosophy of life just
aid down, be sure to have dinner wait
to be cooked-when Hus-
band arrives home in the evening.
Greet Him With Kiss.
Greet him at the door with a smile
md kiss-do NOT omit the kiss. Sugar
unps are very essential in subduing
brute mature. Then tell him that the
boy forgot to bring the steak,
md that If he hurries he will stin have
ime to go around the corner before
he market closes.
Hubby has a hard day at the office,
If course, but business is only a side
inc to the Great Art of being a hus-
,and.
II your former instructions have been
veil mastered, Husband will fall for il.
# course. and after returning fifteen
n twenty minutes later with the de-
red steak will undertake to luII the
licking, screaming, lusty-lunged young
ter to sleep.
While the dinner is in preparation
ave him put the child TO bed If pos
ibIe. Let him buy all the chiIdren's
lothes, too. II humanizes a man so to
ssociate with children. And besides,
elieves you of great deal of extra
york.
After dinner when he attempts 10
oncentrate on the evening paper up
raid him for taking a mild interest i'm
he tariff and currency questions. WhyI
hoUld ne bother about fustv old things =
Ike that, when he might be telling you
hat beautiful eyes you have? II he
ersists in the newspaper habit you
an still go home to mother. Unless, of !
purse he listen to reason-your reason-i 9
nd promises to take you and Aunt =,
ellie and her Cousins house guest to
thea-er party this very night. II he
Jnsents you may know that you have G
ought the good fight, and the fruits '
T victory are yours.
Yea. verify, the art of the Husband
rainer availeth much - much mascu-
ne unrest, u