Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-13
By JOHN KENDRICK BANGS

women's hats became more of a mystery to me
than those which our truck horses wear in mid
with their sticking up through holes in
the crown. AS we drew near our destination l sud-
denly observed smile breaking out on his lips and
decided twinkle in his eye.
Good Lord!' said he. ~Ive only just realized that
I have been talking you deaf, dumb, and blind for
nearly twenty-our straight hours, without giving you
chance to slide in a word edgewise. hope haven't
made you think lfe's nothing but hat to me?"
"On the contrary, said l, "Ive learned lot. You've
made life worth living.
II get Internally interested in my business, said
he apologeticay, 3that sometimes don't realize that
maybe the other fellow has something to say too. l
to have asked you this morning; but it slipped
out of my head. But I'll ask it now. What's your
line?"
I was seized with jocular impulse and l answered
instantly, Natural gas.
He looked at me with puzzled expression. NAT
ural gas?' he repeated. that's queer business.
How do you make your deliveries?'
@Come around to the lecture hall with tonight
and I'll show you, said l.
He threw his head back and roared with laughter.
@By GEORGE the dinners mel" he said
He accompanied the hall that evening" and
sitting in the front gazed at me quizzcaly all
through my labors-ull of sympathy and understand
ing, however,-and after the affair and he
joined for my journey the hotel he slapped
me hard on the back.
4Some gas, all right said he. a wouldn't blow
that out if | could"
Which took to be of the most genuine conpll-
ments l have received
HAVE in any of my trips felt myself in danger
of assassination, and yet of these chance
quainances of mine involved me by his love of practi
cal Joking in an implied ultimatum from stranger Of
a most awe-inspiring nature In leaving California
city years ago found myself seated with group
of other travellers just inside the door of the OBJ
servation car The train had come sudden stand
still alongside of fourshing olive trees, and the
travelling man Gf remember correctly he to Sus-
penders what Darwin was to the Origin of Speciesl
jumped from the platform and pucked handful of
their fruit from branches overhangng the border of
the road Three of these he passed in to me- and in
the innocence of my young heart Immediately pumped
one of them into my mouth, and bit into it.
The result shall not attempt to describe. Our die
tionares have at least dozen separate and distinct
terms sgnifyng that which is bitter, single of
which adequate intimate the tasteo that olive.
There are such expressions "gal and NORWOOD;
there adjectives involving such qualifications of
taste @acrid" "nauseous, SHARP, @tangy, sitting
ing "rough," and "gamy." None suffices. l have
tasted rue have tasted aloes have tasted quassa,
and have nearly died of squis As small boy once
started in to chew four qunine pill that had been
rolled with ameorating ingredient to take off the
tang of it. But in my life before since have
tasted anything comparable to that olive for pure,
aduterated acerbity 1t Ossa OF Gall piled on
a Pelion of Wormwood,-I might say that it repre-
sented the complete reunion of that Gall which the
historians of the past have told divided into
three parts, and suffered
accordingly.
But when I that trav-
~ ~ cling mans eye full of twink
s7%4 ling joy fixed upon me |
~ solved not to let him know
q - that the horrid thing not
~ " the most exquisite bit of am