The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1914-11-27
MRS. WOOD B. HIGHBRoW
ON THANKSGIVING

Yes, yes, indeed! We would have
had a perfectly lovely time at our
house on Thanksgiving if it hadn't
been for an accident that happened at
The dinner table. At the time | felt
terribly misanthropic about it and
really had a very bad movay Quart
Hour for minute, but soon consoled
myself by recalling dear Robert Burns
precious words, The best laid plans
Df mice and men gang bide awee."
We only had small dinner party,
ust the Edwards and Woods sister
and her husband and their little bow,
Harold. Did you ever meet Woods
sister? My dear, between you and |
Remember this is strictly sotto voce
-she is very ignorant and snobbish.
and such a talker Wood himself ac-
knowledges that she would surely ex-
plode if she ever got tetanuS, and ever
since she went abroad she holds her
head as high as Marie Antoinette 90
ing to the Moulin Rouge and talks
nothing but Paris-a perfect parricide,
I call herl
And ignorant! Why, do you know.
she brought me back a little statues
que of Venus from Italy and apollo
gized for its broken arms, by telling
me it was that way the diagonal was
found! Ha, ha, ha! could scarcely
retain my specific gravity, l was so
amused. She didn't know that Mickey
Angelo had carved it that way on
purpose to make it look old and de-
bilitated because the Romans dearly
loved antique things. l don't blame
them either, do myself, don't you ?
have a colonial monogamy antima-
IL II L
4 broken off,
l had a high noon dinner at one
4 o'clock-"when jocund day stands
tipsy on the misty mountain top"
you know, as dear old Will would say.
1t was strict New England dinner,
of course, in honor of the day and
Woods ancestors-I am an F. F. ",
myself-and before it was served we
each agreed to tell the one thing we
were most thankful for.
Wood was first. He said words
couldn't express his gratefultude be-
. cause he didn't have to pay an in
come tax. Poor Wood! He staid up
all the night before, figuring out what
he would have to pay at the source
He was terribly puzzled at first and
wanted me to help him, but l was too
busy assisting Nora to make the stuff
hng.
He didn't know whether to multiply
the least common multiple by the
fourth dimension and add l per cent
of the remainder, or extricate the
cuberoot of the net proceeds and
square the result. One thing, he said
was certain. He'd just like to gel
square once with the Democrats! Ny
but he was tickled when he came up
stairs the next morning to tell me he
had escaped after all, but, he said, il
was very close shave.
| don't know whether to tell | was
thankful because l had been elected
president of my suffrage club, or be,
cause / had such wonderful child a:
Gwendolyn, but finally decided to in
innate Cordelia, the mother of tht
Gratchy, and display my jewel child
Beside, l am far too modest to boas
of myself.
So had Gwendolyn read compo
Sition on "The First thanksgiving,
in which she told all about the hard
ships of the poor Pilgrims who came
over in the Maybell With Lord Balti
more to Plymouth and how they sa
down to their first thanksgiving din
ner of hominy and Goldfish balls, anC
gave thanks because they hadn't beer
scalped or burned as witches.
Then Wood had her bind ever!
state in the Union and tell what tim,
it is in the Scandalous peninsula whel
it is six o'clock here. Then she show
ed all of her beautiful sketches ant
played several duets on the piano. Sh
is Mr.. Boguslatchkey's favorite pupil
and he often tells me that she will b
a perfect tyro when she grows ul
Just then, the ''tocsin of the soul, tn
dinner BELL" rang and we had t.
evade the rest of the program. | wa
glad, too, because the Edwards look
ed awfully bored when Woods siste
asked Harold to recite-my, my, hoy
she does love to show him off!
We had lovely meal. Nora. ceI
tainly is a fine cook, even if she
Irish. l had her mix the mincemea
with strong tea and can pepper III
stead of wicked things like cider an
brandy, and the pies were delicious
Everything was. Nora hasn't gu
talking about her fine cooking the