The farmer and mechanic. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 18??-19??, 1914-03-17

IRE. Lawn MS lIlpOIldHI JOoLy ~
state an afthe shootin' tn messen-
ger an takin' his horse, he set down,
dipped his pen in a bucket iv blood,
an wrote as follows: Dear Dock, |
don't know which English Subjick ye
refer TO in ye'er impydint note. There
has been q number iv caSulties i'll tn
foreign colony since [ come here, an
next week there'll be more if / keep
me health. If it's tn duck I think ye
mean We can give amy iv tn follOwin'
raisons to tn king FIR his death: Wan
isn't dead, but has eloped with
tn wife iv a prominent business man
iv San Antoine. TWo-He come to me
office an dhrew an ink eraser on me.
Three-He insulted me an was shot
be wan iv me faithful lo%otinants.
Four-He jumped out iv a window an
broke his neck. Five-He had or a
pair iv new boots an l needed thin.
Six-I mistook him FIR an American
citizen. Siven-He was arristed FIR
stealth a horse arr was shot while at
timptin' to escape. Eight-He was
thried as a spy be a cOort martial an
sintinced to death. But, alas, too
late. He had been lea FIR a week,
or just afther comm into me Office to
exposhtylate with me because I was
wearin' a watch that he'd missed firm
his house afther me last visit. Ye can
take ye'er pick. iy tn fates that over
took this unhappy man, to SCOT tn
complexion iv tn British govermint,
an sind what ye Ion need back to
me FIR use in cases that may arise In
tn future if l nav me way. But
don't write me amy more letters.
They give me a headache. [ must
now close, IS 1 left wan iv me as
~sistants watchin' tn kitchen stove,
where [ am raisin' funds f'r me
t~hreeasury, an I'm afraid tn careless
fellow has gone to sleep. Give me
regards to Billy Bryan an tell him
that it was with tn gun he give me
that l thrilled tn Englishman. 1t. is
a beautiful weepin an l call it 9TH
Dove iv Peace" in his honor. Ye'er
affictionate frind an 'pow'rful ally. 2.
Villa, Gineralissimo an Prisidint.'
AN there We ARE. I suppose it'll
be all right in tn end. BY an by tn
beautiful but fretful republic will set
tie down undher tn wise an binnyfi-
cent sway iv OF Wick Hoorta or tn
wise an binnyficent lurch Nv young
Pancho Villa, or both, or nyether, as
tn case may be. l don't count oil
Dock Pazzasas, whose name is now al
tn top iv tn stationery iv tn rivolu-
ton. Pancho has took him along fl
tn ride. Whin tn crool war is over
he can write a bOOk about it if he is
spr enough to get away. But aye
Their iv tn other heroes Is worthy i,
tn PRESIDENCY an tn PRESIDENCY is
worthy iv ayether iv thin or worse
They belong to different schools i,
craftsmanship IN diplomacy. Hoor.
ia Is iv tn OF school, fond iv pomI
an ceremony. a gr-reat stickler FL
etiket, uses bottled goods inflrely. an
is particular to I've his murdherin
done be Numbers iv tn regular army
in UNIFORM. Pancho Villa is more
breezy an dimmycratic, simple an
jovyal in his methods, drinks out i,
tn can, an is not above a~sSassynatin
his inimies or his frinds, as tn cas-
may be, with his own hands.
but [ Ion know what's goin' t,
happen to US, Hinnissy, if we go OF
!, followin' this here Monroe docthrin'
!, into ivry dark alley IL Latin Americ;
Whln 1t goes On wan iv its slummin
expeditions. Well have to chang,
5 our ideeS iv wha kind iv a Statesman
is lit to ASSOCIATE with. Whin Georg'
3 Wash'ntOn told us not 20 mix up Will
foreigners, but to stay on tn farm an
' be at home nights, he little though
tn first foreign alliance we wud max
: wud be with PanchO Villa. Follow
, in his advice, our fair Columbya side
; stepped as dangerous companion
Queen Nictorya, tn Impror Looey Ma
polyon, four or five cars. tn Meade,
!, IL Japan, tn impror iV. Chiny, an tn
, king ~ Prooshya. on'y to be Ianded il
: n embraces ~ a statesman that
. few years ago was dodgin' a warran
!, IF stealth chickens. I've got an ide
in me head somehow that Georg
: N~ash'nton an PanCho Villa Wudden'
get on we'll together. [ can't soc thin
=, havin' a tintype taken an GcOrg
! lendin PanchO his own forty-five as
sooveneer il their friadship. lie wa
a proud an particular OF la'ad. tina
o father ~ our country, an he Uud
dent understand u new ally. tt
chances ARE tn naughty OF eintle
man wud give Pancho a lick over Il
head With his soord belt an tell Gin
raj La Fayette to lock him I'D IN ii
c~allyboose.
/ But. as Hogan says. other time!
other ITindships. Til country - n
S longer tn little two-be-four conthraT
Y ton that it was in Nash'nton's ga,
an we've got TO change orr idce
Y tn kind iv pavdner it's proper 20 !,
our ColCmbya give her arTl to. II
young. people IL America ought |
~ l n.v 49,, - .o,.t 49,. DO, <s;~ ! 10