davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26
NOTES FROM SHOP E
By N. s. M.

Oh you Turkey!
The powers at war will soon be quarrel
ing over the drumstiCks.
A new man in camp; now an extra nand
on ballers and tag ging Irvine.
The way green paint has been spread
around thus shop the past week, there mus,
have been an Irishman let loose.
Frenchy is equipping the spinners in
this shop with new nIppers, and by the
end of next week all the machines will
have received new teeth.
Owing to the conveyers being out Of
comm ission for two days, the south end OF
his shop has been partly filIed With Irvine,
fifteen sacks high.
If the is anyone SO badly used or hates
himself so much that he has nothing to he
thankful for he is sure in hard lu k OF I'M
deserving the sympathy of his fellow men.
Twice during 'he present month system
No. has scored perfect test Last Sa,ur-
days test being the best ever put over the
big reel. In the ten balls tested there was
a a.iation of only twelve feet. with an av-
erage length of 489 feet Frenchy is 20
ne congratulated ON this SPLENDID showing
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26
GET IN ON THIS

| do not pine for human gore, yet boldly
| assert Id like to slap the bralnless zap
who calls girl ''skiit.
Peoria Journal.
pine not to bring others woe trust
I'm not SO mean; but | would like to swat
the DO who calls girl "queen.'
Houston Post.
pine to zee no injured gink clutch at
himself and wall; but I'd ike to boot the
crude galoot who calls glrl ''trAll.'
New York Evening Sun.
| am not prone to violence; but l should
like to maui and kick ami muss the Inane
GUS who calls girl "solne doll"
Judge.
do not wish to seem a crank, but al
ways get pain, and want to club the awful
uuD Who calls girl Jane"
La Toilette S
do not care TO kill the guy nor wish to
hear LIN screech, but l could poke the
sense.ess bloke who calls girl "peach. >
Marquette (Mlch.) Epitone
Personally we re against all rough stuff
but we'd like to pound the worthless hound
who calls girl "muf.
-''Sherlock," Prison Mirror.
Presently,-and maybe sooner The man
who mo KEYS with the sutfragetts buzz-saw
will get his fingers burned.
Don't mind little thing like that An
drew. Chnk up and show US at least thai
you have some sense of humOr.
Af,er putting a motion before the Chau-
tauQua Clrcie recently, the president absent
inindeLly remarked: The drys have it.
.Aner persual of the late election returns |
guess they have.
Pretty good doctrine thai was handed
GU, by Keene concerning the 'B.g Gun
IN the auto Industry. He's absolutely, and
without a doubt correct when he says;
Look up. Improve your time" We
also would admonIsh you TO that end but
put little differently.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26
B. and o. NOTES
By Otto Mobile

To one and all, inside and out, Thanks
giving Greetings.
A small portion of light meat, Garcon.
and bit Ut the dark.
Two men on bull fddles and three on
traps isn't SO rotten tor twelve piece
orchestra.
"Aha!' quoth the movie hero, as he
whitfield the fragrant tresses Of the heroine,
81 smell a rat.
And now we are receiving the "kid' and
delivering bets on Wisconsin foot ballot
ogy. We smile
Clarinet Canto shows his versatility by
changing to baritone saxaphone in the
band. Some boy is Canto.
Sherlock, you'll Il sure make handsome
end man with that gold tooth. The soap
maker will furnish the "oones."
The most difficult difficulty in playing
at drill on Sundays is to keep one S Instru-
ment from freezing, to say nothing OF
keeping ones self from freezing. We
march next Sunday.
Notes of last Saturdays football game
will not he found IN this issue as tie cor
respondent received black-eye while try
ing to learn the finer points of the game.
Who was the reporter? | won't tell.
Apropos of the selection played by the
Orchestra last Sunday, "Oses Lod from
Peer GyM, Prot. Schmidt related to US
Ibsen's we'll known play. Little Joe
opines that Peer Gynt was 'gay-cat.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26
WOOD SHOP sHAVlNCS
By Siam

Drop boards for binder platforms were on
tue last few Gays.
Saw, did you see Uncle John in game
OF touch down last Saturday.
Guard WEIGH was on the sick list last
week, we are glad t" see him around again.
Supt. Williams of the Irvine factory
showed party of trends the interior of The
wood shop one day last week.
Willie, after finishing up batch of bin.
Ter handles the other day, turned his neat
little hand on handles for the rock crush
ers.
Shorty said to Stub last Saturday "what
is de matter wld yer. we must have fer
gotten to shave for at least three weeks, We
took like some tramp now?' ''Never
mind, said Stub, "rhey will look bet
ter hive weeks from now
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26
SHOP H TWiSTERS
By E.. NJ.

"Buy barrel of apples!" Sure thing.
can use two barrels.
Lester and Frank are to he detailed for
night work, SO we are told. Good luck, TO
you fellows.
The occupant of cell 134-B would appre-
ciate any Milwaukee papers sent to him;
either German OF English.
Good work, Frank; now just invent a
Kaiser catcher, and you will have earned
the undying gratitude of the whole world.
Night work never seemed to agree with
me; always have to go to the hospital
when found working by the moon. Witness
the fact, | am in here.
Frank, the balIer oiler, has developed in
to quite mechanical genius. He has in
ven: d new devil catcher that is a great
improvement over the old ones. The bali
ers are all being equ'pp d with them.
Germany has fastened to tell the U S.
that she does not intend to invade Canada.
No, we know you don't, Wilhelm; your
reason for not invading Canada is the same
as our own reason fur not invading the
Twin Cities-they have US coopei up so
that we can't.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26
UNCLE cosHDINc,s SAYINGS
By J. f. B.-466s

Yes, them right and left wings ov the
contendin' armies in Eurrup are erdic'
ed wi h Their pip.
Yes, Mandy SEE es how l ort to b.
thankful an contented Their ledge didn't Sc
fit ter turn me loo>e!
It's erbout time "Mr. Groucho'' ap
peas on Their scene to pour ashes on thu
kIddies' ''gutter Slide
England wants Their German navy to.
''come out and fight What's Their use,
the Ieutoh is dom "serfficlent es it es,
thank yer.
every cloud hes silvery linin';" sure
it hes, only some folks thinks silver linln
isn't with lo"kln' for-they wants 'en
made out'a gold.
Accord.n' to Petrograd reports some
"kOOShian troops IS ergin apprOachin
Berlin with ,her INT "ntion ov eat,n' their
Xmus dinner there es prisuners ov war,
perhaps.
consistency, thou ART jool'' tibet s
why we send relief ships with food an
clo,hin' TO ther belligerents of Europe ole
day and on Their next day we kindly send
munitions ov war.
A good way ter REID Their war Lews these
days is ter fust buy any red hot ''extry,''
go home; sit down by cheerful fire, and
ee'etuIly wipe an etjust yer specs, lean
hack IN Their old rockin' cheer, eagerly I'm
fold the aforesaid paper and unctiously con.
sign tit nmejiat to Their fire!
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26

We certainly enjoyed the ramble Saturday
afternoon; and to think it was Nov. 2lst
and the boys played bali Who said Min
nesota can be beat for healhful mild clim-
ate1
We can't afford to have our moral and
physical development checked by fostering
hatred for any one. We need to love our
fellow men, and they have great need for
that love from US
1t is queer how some people forget that
at one time they were beginners No mat
ter what we aspire to, practice is essential
to acquire perfection in any chosen profes
sion. Give us time.
We were exceptionally pleased to know
that many of our friends from Minneapolis
were present at the quarterly meeting OF
the Chautauqua Circle. Trust they enjoy
ed it fully as much as we did.
George F, in charge of laundry depart
ment, manages to stay on the job although
not feeling we'll the pass week We trust
you may receive permanent relief shortly,
Geo. wisconsin fever, Red. Comp
Grasp the present opportunity; utilize
y.ur wlII-pow.r to It's fu capacity; create
a desire for pr ,gressvenes>; do your work
with enerseti: willingness. Success awaits
those who do. as there is So little cOmPe
iItIOn.
Oh yes, the sleeping wonder wakes up
once IN awhile, but not very often Its
good thing for him the insanity commits
sion did not get their eyes ON h,m the other
day for If they had, 1t would Of have been
all off with him.
What do you know about Mike w.?
| hiuy five ears in the sileAt city; but The
lnvlgoratlng air and the ball game was won,
to sir the Ire of youthful days and he
demonstrated that he has noe lost his keen
eye, as he hit the ball and beat our friend
Uncle John.
Overheard at the dinner table:
Officer Glennon:-"l see by the paper
that Mr.. Johnson has established quite a
record by his speedy bathing system on
ha h days.
about Mr johnson being SO a"f"l speedy
HIM by dozen feet the other morning; and
sure there is nothing very speedy about
the early morning cars, especially when one
DR.. B. ]. Merrill, of Saltwater. .Sas a
business caller at the institution last Thurs
day. DR.. Merrill was the physician at inc
old prison tor over 20 years and is well re-
me mbered by all the old inmates amongst
whom he has host Of TRENDS.
MI. Nelson has been doing rushing
business the past week IN the clothing line
4
fitted out with heavy WOODEN underwe, Ar,
h gn top rubbers, German SOCKS aud win
te, caps. He says, ''now let the cold
weather come.
Phil, in the bathroom, has an assistant
now; he has only one arm. Phil says he
can beat amy man with two arms when 1t
comes to polishing brass. You had better
plant the corner PM, for it will be all off
with 1t IT he ever gets after 1t with his lit
tile an of SulatIne.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26
ELEVATOR P CKUoS
By B. w. k.

''Some game Saturday P. M. chr
Our friends Mr.. D. and Mr.. r., were
school room visitors Saturday last.
This Irvine factory will be some busy
after this month running night and day
this winter.
Supt Williams of the Irvine factory has
returned from his vacation, and says he
enjoved himself very much.
So you have two months more eh Shortly
Well guess you will know better mex
time or at least we hope SO, with good luck
IN advance we remaim-.
We see Slim busy with some white cloth
when we ask what he was doing he re
piled: ''I'm fixing bag 10 carry Turkey
back to 1873, Thanksgiving. Now
don't eat too much Slim.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26
SPARKS F.,OM THE ANVIL
By $3.50

Foreman Hagerty was on the sick list one
Jay last week.
Some people are so contrary that they
tank everybody else is trying to initiate
them.
SuPt. Williams of the Irvine factory pas
led through this shop with frlends last
Thursday.
1t will soon he necessary to add few
Weights 10 the elevator in this department.
y, our elevator man, is getting so fat that
ne buttons refuse to stay on his coat.
G.. E., one of our capable punch opera
tors, had the misfortune to get one Of his
myers caught in machine. 1t was not
necessary to have the member amputated.
Officer Nc Lear and his crew have de-
cided that November weather is little too
cold tor hem out of doors; so they are
making the south room Of this building
their headquarters. From the looks of the
nencnes beng Installed they intend to re-
main for the winter.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26
"VLLACE" J KERS
IRE

Last Saturday AFTERNOON while out on
the yard we again had the pleasure of talk
ing to our genial friend, Red, the umpire.
We inquired as to the mode Of life he had
been living since we had met him last
Aside from his assurance to US that he had
been living life of sobriety and respecta-
bllty, said:
81 notice there are quite few upper-lip
overcoats being worn this fall, and it must
he that some of our officers anticipate a
cold winter or else they are going to con-
sumo large quantities of soup. Now, that
being SO, have been wondering what the
matte can be with Officer Jerry Parent;
either he don't anticipate severe winter or
he does not believe in the strained soup
diet as conducive to good digestion.
"Probably he likes raw oysters" sug-
gested.
mo, mol said Red as he meandered
away. "oysters like to have their backs
scratched as they slip town.
"Huh!'' said as looked around to see
if anybody had over heard.
As started to walk across to where the
all game was in progress, l collIded with
one of the ''arlstocracy." / begged his
pardon, hut he didn't dam to notice me a,
all and looked over my head right at the
dome OF the state capitol in St. Paul where
IN sits The State Board of Pardons, to whom
he is going TO We the extreme p easure ~
of granting hun paIdon when next they
meet.
Walking around the aristocrat l finally
landed next to the baseball diamond where
l met my friend, Med who had a wor-
rled look on his face.
Whats the matter?'' asked him.
'I'm not keeping score" said he
"Well, what of il? That's nothing to
worry about
But it keeps my mind off of the other
things
"What other things?''
"WelI, 1 get to thinking how incon-
sistent and two faced l am in posing before
the public as an agitaior against the use OF
alcoholic liquors and then think of that
heading over my double column in the Mir
Ior. which would look pretty bad for me if
there was All and in place Of the first letter
- No Sir, Ia sooner keep score than be
going around with such an awful possibility
as that on my mind" and he walked awav
in sorrowful meditation
Huh! let me see what he meant by that.
Oh! yes: Examinations" with the word
and in place of the first letter e. would
be-"Rum and Nations! Good night!
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26
PIcKUPS AND PUNCHES
By UncLs Johss

They say that after marriage a man and
wife are one. Ha-Ha, yes, one too many
sometimes.
Have we not reason to be thankful for all
the good things the officials have granted US
during the year,
News is as scarce around these diggins
these days as hen s teeth. You will have
to hustle to get some.
Visitors were not so numerous during
the week. guess the cold weather had
something to do with it.
Dr. Merrill of Saltwater. was visitor a,
the institution last "Wednesday and paid the
boys at the hospital a visit.
No more foot ball or bas. ball for mine,
seer 1t may look easy, but one black eve
is enur for yours truly; get thats
Supt Robertson was seen for several days
during the week at the institution on busl-
ness, and went back to St. Cloud again.
Keep on smiling, you will soon get your
turkey with a whole lot of other good
eats; besides, be thankful aud keep on smil-
ing.
DIR. Newman escorted several parties OF
friends thru the institution during the week
He also showed them his sanItum sancto-
rum.
Master Fitzgerald was kept busy as UNI
pire lest Saturday. He had to he on the
jump most all the time, and we are sure he
appreciated 1t as the weather was rather cold
TO stand in one place.
The weather was not too cold last Satur-
day tor Warden Reed. He was in the
park during the whole game and enjoyed It
more than the majority Of the inmates did.
n tne example boys. Look out for next
spring.
1t you would read the Mirror you would
perhaps get the latest news and rules. No
pApsrs or magazines are allowed to be sent
from one cell hOLse to the other. You
,nIy waste your numbers Read the MIR
ror; It will do you z, cd
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26
HINTS ON.HOW TO HYCIENATE
by Doc DOpelets)

Had the pleasure of exchanging few
hurried remarks Wits the ''Optimist CT the
Mrror;' we editor.
"Tm suffering from a confusion of the
inferior maxilIa y, superinduced by sudde"
contact with the pedal extremity of mule.
What would you adviser See the mule.
| am troubled with the stomachache in
he autumn. Would you take something
TOR it? Sure. You have probably eaten
something that was not good for you. Take
l vacation.
'1s there a powder that will remove
whiskers without shaving?" Well l guess!
Pulver,ze ordinary smokeless powder to a
consistency of flo #. add lutte sulphur.
and apply to the jaw while laving on the
back The hair will come 2f by applying
match to it.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26
Cell CHANGES

Cell changes up to Nov. 22.nd
From B to B A l3; 6-73; 1880;
365-2e5.
AtoB 95-365; 1886.
A to A 1926.
To hospital AS; l7S.
TO cot &c.
To old prison 100; 285.
To third 4h8 B; lib; 469- A.
Thanksgiving and praise.
All aboard for the turkey.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26
N IR R 0 R E 7 7 ES

Thanksgiving Day.
The dav of turkey and cranberry sauce.
We will also enjoy the show which We
will see today.
You will learn the particulars about the
Christmas Fund in our next issue.
Officer Morrison returned from his ten
days vacation, Tuesday of this week.
And three cheers and tiger for the
theatrical manager, players and manager OF
the Star Theatre.
Mr.. Rosing, of the front office force,
acted as usher to party of visitors. Friday
of las week.
State Board Of Parole met at the institu-
ton last Friday. They granted 5 paroles
ami discharges.
"The funniest thing in the world" says
Big Chief, us to see Mac play violin
and sing at the same time
Those of you who are writing Christmas
stories, kindly have the same sent to our
office week or ten DAYS before publication
day. Do not make them too lengthy.
AIack! A AS! Rex received his shaving
ticker this week. Says he: 81 have waited
FIVE years for it. but everything comes to
him who waits" Which is right-some-
times.
ill the inmate who has our baseball
scorebuok kindly return same 20 the Mir
ror office at his convenience? We intend
TO use same next summer, SO says Mac
Likeumchew.
The Grand Jury came over from Still
water Monday and were ushered through
the different departments by Warden Reed.
They reported everything to be in nne con-
ditIun at the institution
Occupant of cell So B would he pleased
to exchange the Saturday Evening Post.
Blue Book, Red Book ami Popular Maya
ne for the Farmers Tribune, Grit, or
other magaz mes and papers.
The last Saturdays baseball game was
SD one sided that our official Sco,ekeeper
lost tn. book aud we are not able to give an
az. cunt OF the game nor the number VI
scores. Think, however, twas something
like l3 to O.
Oh, Uncle John! How did you get hit
and by what? lis SAID you were playing
fool ball anu someone kicked the ball in
your eye. Mac tells US that one of the
valves Oh your cornet exploded. But we
think you tell down stairs. How about It?
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26
FOUNDRY NOTES
By Doc

DR.. Newman escorted same friends thru
the foundry one day last week.
Supt. Ross, and his brother, were visitors
to our department Saturday evening.
We scribe and his co-worker are now busy
as bees with two floors to look after; some
Job now.
Two more floors were added to the
foundry last week, making a total of l8
floors in use every day; some foundry now.
Officer La Rue, of the chipping loom,
was detained at home two days last week
on account of sickness. Officer Chaser was
IN cha, ge during his absence.
A woman visitor while coming out Of
Il. core-room was heard to remark that the
cor gave an odor suggestive of something
90 to eat. But | fancy she would find
h 1 flour and sand very hard to digest.
In answer to ye scribe of the blacksmith
shop in reg irds to seeing the back of ones
ueck, will say that If he should get boil
on the hack of his neck he would find some
way to see how big it was; and he can use
the same method 10 see if the back of his
neck is eleanor not.
Officer Bloom is at last happy man; he
has seen his idea OF the proper kind of core
rab put into realization. Three of his
new tables arrived last week and they are
we worth being proud of as they are up-to-
late in every respect. Each man will now
have table to himself, and the top of the
table he,ng supported on iron legs makes it
very solid, and they are also equipped with
plenty of shelf room. They do not only
improve the looks of the core-room but are
big improvement compared with the old
work bench heretofore used.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26

All inmates are hereby requested.
when writing, to place their register
numbe, and page number on the
upper right hand corner of the en-
velope, in the space to be covered
by the stamp. Your page number
will be found written with a lead
pencil on all incoming letters.
Compliance with this request will
cause letters to be mailed promptly.
Also, inmates are cautioned against
writing between the lines, and be
careful to sign your full names to all
letters.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26
DlNKY DoPELErr

Them as has, wants.
Only him who is, does
Love of idIeness is idolatry.
A true sport suppor:his family.
High living always enlarges the liver.
Few reformers make good being good.
A matrimonial prize is often surprize.
It's better to be has. been than a never
was.
A lot of trouble in this world is due to
love and lot to friendship.
There are just lots of men who look as
though they had tried to preserve their Dig
nifty IN alcohol.
Friend Beau Esprita was busily engaged
Sat p m. signing up all the local clowns
for Xmas Home Talent Snindee.
Some women's idea of economy is to
trade some old thing she needs tor some
new thing she has no earthly use for.
You bet! l feel sure that good old Santa
will gratifv our longing for really worth
while tobacco Surest thing you know
Otto Mobile. we gotta brand new jimmy
pipe for the occasion.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26

All inmates who buy or have
sent in to them socks, underwe; r,
nigh,sairts. bath towels, handksr-
chiefs, etc., should send them 10
the laundry and have your number
marked on them before using.
Write your name, register numb T
and cell number on slip of pap T,
attach to ARTICLES and give to c,il
hall captain.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26

Change feet! Close up! Familiar and
Abbreviated military technical terms to eluci-
late to the obstrepen.us sojers it would tend
70 embarrass and deviate the instructor who
would probably fall into state of lachry-
nea-who wants to swap foot unless it't
a wooden once, mnasium and Sally Pors
were married yesterday.-The Baron.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26

War News Turkey was taken by the
multitudes, who had carefully pinned
their annihiIating campaign. Thew at
lacked both right and left wings and main
hody with such ferocity as to practically
eliminate them from further engagements.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26
KlDvERsATfoNS
By Sherlock

7 Squirrel whiskev is 50 called. Albert, be-
cause of its rich, nutty Aavor-and effect
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1914-11-26

This is the dav. Let us live today and
our tomorrow will be cared for by DR..
Newman.
Cresco plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1913-1945, 1914-12-18
Important Notice.

All persons wishing to pay their Paw.
Ing aud Curling Assessments csn do %
ct the City Clerks Office.
Those wishing to take advantage Of
the installmsnt plan Of paying in seven
annual payments. can do % BY calling
at the City Clerks Office and signing q
waver, within the next thirty days
from the date Of this notice. Those
failing to sign the Waver within said
time, the whole amount Of assessment
will fall due in 1916.
Dated at Cresco. lows, this 10th day
Of December 1914.
n. J. MACARTHUR,
City Clerk.
Cresco plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1913-1945, 1914-12-18
Photographs!

Good, first class photographs are the
standard Xmas gift, always welcome,
which prevails in all good homes and
families oil around the civilized world.
Have you good photo of all of your
members of your family? If not, why
not? Make your appointments for sit.
tings now. Only few days left before
you will need them. Any time be-
tween 10 .. m. and 8 p. m, on cloudy
days. is all right for sittings.
C. AMINoFF BLoMoUIsT, Cresco.