The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1914-02-19


tered the play world, where 1 had
nothing to do but look pretty and
! be gay spirited.
This alone would not have seemed
! justification to me for leaving my
home. But I had at my elbow and
tguratively at my feet man with
whom I was infatuated, Chas. Wilson,
I had met at the Horse Show, while
I was admiring the Vanderbilt horses.
1 saw that he admired me and 1 was
fattered. When he began to make
love to me l believed him. When l
got aboard the Wayfarer, believed
that he would marry me when we
reached New York.
Instead he took me to his home at
Newport where a sweet-faced, gray
haired woman greeted me kindly and
called him Charlie. When I asked
him who she was, he said: Don't
make a fuss about it. She's my
wife!"
1 left her home in Newport and
came to New York. He followed me
here. I threatened to go home and
tell my father everything.
You'll not stay long," he sneered.
They'll kick you out. Do you sup
pose an F. F. v. will have such a girl
as you now are under its roof"
! Although he spoke in anger.
knew he told the truth. 1 had al
ways admired and loved my father,
but l knew him as he was, proud,
stern man with little sympathy for
the weaknesses of human nature.
had been very weak and foolish.
| That | loved this man who had
strewn my path with wreckage when
1 was only II years old would be lit
| tie excuse to him. Southerners are
! hot-headed as we'll as high-spirited.
| If l told father the truth he might
| follow Charles Wilson and kill him.
Before that thought quaile6. Often
woman's heart is traitor to her own
best interests / remained in New
York. Wilson told me he would di-
vorce his wife and marry me.
Waiting is Dangerous.
l tried to believe him and l waited.
1 hoped and prayed for the time
when, rehabilitated, as his wife,
could pay visit to- my home. But
waiting is a dangerous pasti ime in
| New York. Especially if you are
young and beautiful.
If I went out for a walk my ap-
pearance attracted attention. l was
always accosted, or was followed
home by some man, usually one with
cruel eyes and a predatory mouth.
Often 1 reached home just in time to
slam the door in his face. If dared
to 20 to a play in the afternoon, it
was the same.
! I was very lonely, Charles Will
sons travels with the Vanderbilts'
horses and his care for them at the
stables in New York and Newport
kept him busy. l saw him seldom,
and then for only a short time. If
you are very clever, you can amuse
yourself. You can study and read.
Your thoughts are excellent compan-
ions. But if you are only pretty and
dependent, the hours you are alone
are hours of torture.
l have heard a girl like me say:
People have different ideas of hades.
Mine is just being alone"
When you are alone, if you are
such girl, thoughts assail you. You
see yourself deserted, starving, dy-
ing and alone. You think of a way
out. You plan suicide, Jut you are
afraid. In those long hours alone,
while l was waiting for Charles Will
son to keep his promise, l learned
! to drink.
A girl who was blue and lonely
like myself advised it. 1t will drive
away the blue devils. You'll think
you are a princess-for little
while,' she said.
Two glasses of champagne made
ny head whirl, made me dance and
sing, made me laugh, made me build
air castles of the time when | should
60 home and introduce my husband
and when my mother should take me
in her arms and say: daughter, !
forgive you
The next time | was alone and blue
| drank again, this time three glasses.
l kept on comforting myself thus IN
secret.
Once Wilson came to call ana
found me unconscious, with the
empty bottle and glass beside me.
He was very angry. We quarreled.
He stayed away. l entreated him