The Idaho Republican. [volume] (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1904-1932, 1914-02-20
PARTY LEADERS PAY
TRIBUTE TO LINCOLN


the bank and l came along and took
them. And treated you fair; took
your clothes, but never touched
your silver. l left you that.
Bryan-You left me the only thing
that was no good. All the same,
when it's time for you to be relieved,
| I'd like to try it for a while.
T. R.-Now, Bill, you've been say
ing that for years and years. Hon.
estly, now, what makes you think
you'd like my job?
Bryan-Well, the pay is good, to
start with; and l don't think it would
interfere with my Chautauqua lee
lures. could be a rich man in a
few years.
T. R.-Shame on you! Get out! A
true patriot never thinks of himself.
Bryan Retreating) I'll have that
place yet.
T. R.-You've said that before,
(Sarcastically) If at first you don't
succeed try, try again. (Levels bay
onet at Bryan.) Off you 60 now.
Bryan retreats off the stage.
Enter Corporal
Corporal-Your turns about up,
and the boys down there are fighting
to see who'll take your place. Joe
Cannon, Charlie Fairbanks, Bob La
Toilette and Big Bill Taft and lot
of others. all want it.
T. R.-(stamping on his foot)
They're fighting are they? What
have they got to say about it? I'm
running this army. I've picked Bill
Taft for this job and nobody else
need come around. Go fetch Bill.
Corporal-Very we'll, sir. Gle goes
out and Immediately returns with
Taft, also dressed as sentinel Taft
and T. R. face each other at port
arms" Ito T. r. Turn over your
orders
T. R.-No need to do that Bill
will know what to do. He's been
watching me for seven years. Be-
sides, if he gets in trouble he can
ask me for help.
Taft-(To T. R. But suppose
you're out of the country. Tell me
what I'm to do when I'm on the job.
T. R.-The main thing is not to
fire Jimmie Garfield. Outside of that,
just so as you've seen me do.
Taft-Excuse me, sir, but never
saw you really do much. You talked
a lot, but that was about all.
4z.I T. R.-Whist, now my boy; that's
the trick.
AS Taft takes his rifle, he notices a
piece of string which T. R. has fast
ened to it.
Taft docking at the string)
What's this?
T. RI gave you my job, but
there's a string to it. Well, good
bye. I'm going hunting.
Corporal-Forward, march.
T. Rand Corporal go off, T. R..
talking rapidly.
T. R.-Tell me where the lions are
big game, elephants, tigers, hippo
potamuses, rhinoceroces, panthers,
camels, standpatters. Let me at 'em.
I'll eat 'em alive. I'll stick 'em in
the stomach. Let me at EN-. I'll
eat 'em alive-I'll eat 'em alive!
(Goes off wildly gesticulating and
shouting)
Taft looks after T. RS retreating
figure, smiles and chuckles. Then,
with great deliberation, he takes
knife from his pocket, opens it, looks
after IT. R., looks at the string and
after long deliberation stamps his
foot decisively, cuts off the string and
throws it away.
Taft-That's what it means to have
a judicial temperament.
Enter Bryan, stunning guitar.
(sings) In the sweet by
and by! In the sweet by an by!
Taft-Here now Bill you can't
come here.
Bryan-Some day! with great
feeling) Some day! Hang it, how
can / get up there when there's al
ways some one on guard?
Taft-That's just the trouble, Bill.
You people have been trying for years
to break in here, but you always find
us on guard.
Exit Bryan, disconsolately.
Taft (walking up and down and
surveying himself)-Well, anyhow,
I'm big man. (Sees Wilson ap-
preaching; comes to Port Arms" and
calls) Halt: Who goes there?
Wilson (profoundly)-I am schol-
ar; they refused to give me super
animated teachers pension; I'm tired
of teaching SO Pm looking for an
| r Their iob Can't I have yOurs when