davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12

BERLIN. Oct. Is tby mail to New
York; have had an insish, Into
some of the Affairs which have caused
the srcs,cs, interest and excitement
In tho German war ot,ier
Just as this war In itself outdoes
fiction so some OF the scenes that
have occurred in the var ofsiecs have
outran Imagination There have been
momvntS SO exciting that oven the
staidcst generals have chsercd aloud
in their Offices,
An instance OF this was the oe-
easlon when GenreAl Won Hindcneers
whose name has since become world
famous was restored TO the army
Perhaps 5, Is NO, generally known
that Hindcnesrs and the kaiser were
personal cnemics, II Is the truth.
however The aiser himself put Won
HInd.nb.ss on the pension list six
years ago In ~ of anger against
him. Hindcnhvrk was heartsrosrn;
a, 81 years his career seemed smash
ed
when the var broke ea; the
kaiser ordered lists should bn pre-
pared including the name OF every
general who might help Germany.
Hindrnserss name vas not pu, on
the list. The kaiser noticed tho omis-
sion.
Where's Hindenecrx'" he asked.
Germany needs him"
This was one of the nrsi surprises
that the war once sustained. nu,
greater surprise was in store for the
neu in the big sscne building in Ber.
lin In connection withthis sam. Hin.
tenberg.
HIntenberg has been one-idca man
throughout his life. Every German
general on the war one. Is a special.
lst on some tactics or plan. but Hind
enburx was considered almost queer
In regard TO certain plan he had
for crushing n Russian force In East
ern Prussia.
He had ngured when he was
young officer that. II Germany and
Russia ever fought each other and
that. II RusSt>. troops started for
Berlin. by way OF Eastern Prussia.
and that. u on their march they 20,
near konissberg or Tannenberg. ana
that. II be were In charge Of German
troops In Eastern Prussia--.f all the
Ifs" came true. he would &c, the
Russians In trap and drive them
back into the swamps. In the lake
country and ie, the swamps whip
them. providing. one or more Ifs
that ali this would not occur In the
winter time when the swsmps were
frozen.
All OF Hindenbergs success In life.
In fact. depended on all these IFS"
coming true and he vas laughed AT in
the army and In German court circles
for stalking his career and his place
In German military history on such
a aim .nN .upu rncsIv In, uS . ~ - n ~ a
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12

tads. ~ on seine have metvY
who aFe IN doubt. aud come save
thsm oa, ~ tho ntr. and go
some have mercy si,h tear
Juda Ia ene VI tho foar books ol
IN. New ,sstamen, containing bat one
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12
Scattered Shots :

FOLLOWING THE buy q bale Of
cotton" move. buy q thousand feet
Of lumber" 10 heard. Considering the
condition Of the canal tolls and few
other party planks. President Wilson
should get In on this 10 prepare for
the future.
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12

7 ftrmitttirf~---
OF all the crimes. ,hr sofss that
can DO committed ia fos yoa TO forget
10 come down aud select babY's
Christmas rpekst before they are ali
gone II you ~ili 40 to Tue iiooms
o, Sensible Christmas GIFTS you can
set then from Tse 10 as hish as your
..ss-t - ts.sL ~ttt sxs~A
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12

Z h a T. OF fhts
~titsf Who stses
.is the ksy to- dc
iaoneiOsp speaks
OF thf-p glasses ut
people who aaH
DC reached b, the
ueapei Of Carts,
fhs great itome'
dial sts,cta vhish
rsas brought Ia
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12

THE SUCCESS OF the klamath
county display at the exposition d.
pends upon the amount contributed
toward II. no your share.
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12
WlLLIs.JonNsToNk 20

Ey.s ot World 4" "Aur,iua iit6ek.
aad all the latest eopyriEh, acssoa saa
gI,t books Aiso for boys aad girls
rHE BoNBoSSiERE
iis3t SeIt door 10 Postosiiee
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12

THE LATEST from the front 10
that old General Prosperity Is sweep
ing over the United States.
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12

CUPID ls always pictured as In
fantile. yet tho little cuss well know
how TO put one and one together.
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12

Insurance tihss psys. ses Chilcots.
o8S Main street. Proos -. le-tf
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12

THE MAN WHO knows. We all 70.
spect; it's the man who KNOWS he
knows that We all feel like swatting
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12
~Swampy Hindenberg" Is
INDICATED During Great War
German Officers All Praising Old Soldier Whose Hobby
Was Theorizing Crushing of Russian Army IN
Prussia. Plans Worked Perfectly

n, WILLIAM q. SHEPHERD
tUaitsd rrcas stan Correspondent
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12

THE MAN prosperity favors can AZ
ford 10 smile. but he needn't It's We
poor devils who can't afford the grin
who MUST.
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12

THE REASON opportunity has not
knocked at your door. perhaps. II be-
cause, owing 70 your failure To num-
Der your house. he does not know
where you live.
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12

f"day. ss~. 10 IN. .,.,.,1
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12

so FAR there have been no reports
oi anybody going crazy with the heat
this morning.
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12
FOR RENT

FURNISHED ROOMS Tor llsh, house
keeping: reu; reasonable, iio Sec
ond street, li-u
The evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942, 1914-12-12

All OF Hindenberg success IN lie.
In fact. depended on all these IFS"
coming true and he vas laughed AT In
the army and In German court circles
for stalking his career and his place
In German military history on such
a slim and, apparently impracticabis
The Washington herald., 1914-07-26
The Burning Question.

The Hon. Application Green had some
interesting and pertinent statistics 10
submit to the club regarding the ques-
ton, Shall Preachers Ride the Bike 80
He had corresponded with persons in
various sections OF the country, and had
interviewed a number Of preachers him
self. but had confined himself strictly
to the color line. What white preachers
did or did not do was nothing to the
colored race. The number Of coIored
preachers in America now riding the
bike was about four hundred The num-
Der who had fallen from Craze during
the last twelve months on account Of TIE
wheel was eighteen. While the question
was still an open one before The ciu5.
the general opinion of the country seem
ed to have settled down tn this. that
preachers could ride the bike in a slow
and dignifed manner. but thst the sight
of a minister Of the gospel ska ing aIoI z
with jockey cap uerched on one ear
and his left leg over the tandIe bsr
made human nature more wicked. The
minister OF his church rode a bike, but
had not suffered in reputation His gait
was never above five miles an hour. his
gaze always fixed upon the horizon IN
serious mood. and nobody was ever at
hand to hear his remarks when the front
wheel struck stone CT fell into a hole.
preacher might scorch for \ mile or
so, in case a thunderstorm was ccmfnS
up or a Texas steer cot afte- nm. brt
he should still preserve his dignity even
after his hat fell OF and his feet lost the
pedals. The thanks Of the club wer.
rendered to Brother Green. ard he was
requested to keep his eye IN the preach
ers and see what another year would
bring forth.
The Washington herald., 1914-07-26

Ladies and gentlemen-It Is needless
for me to observe that this large and
Intelligent audience does me proud. 1t
was advertised that this lecture would
be free and you found the doors wide
open to you. I feel it sort Of duty,
however, to take up q collection. Any
money so contributed will be evenly
divided. One-half will go toward erect
ing q tombstone over the grave Of the
tather-in-law of Christopher Columbus,
as soon as the same can be located. fand
the other half will be economically eX-
pended in paying my personal expenses
from town to town. AS ! pass the hat
/ will call your attention to the fact that
II Columbus hadn't been backed by his
father-in-law he could never have set
out on his voyage, and that the said
father-in-law has never had q fair show
in history. As I count up the proceeds
Of the collection, which amounts to Sl-B
! wish to return thanks on behalf Of
Columbus and all his relations. and to
assure you Of my own personal gratitude
as well.
My subject tonight is the American
Indian, and the duty of the American
white man toward him. It may surprise
some Of you to learn that you have a
duty in the premises, but hope to make
ii plain 70 you, ! turn the light of my
stere-opticon on the canvas, and you
behold the picture OF the savage at home.
Instead Of sowing or reaping he IL en-
gagged in a war dance. Instead Of broad
ening his mind he is still clinging to
his old-time traditions. As he dances
he yeIls for scalps and hollers for gore,
and II hurts his feelings to remember
that he can't cut looRe and tomRhawk
half a dozen women and children. Who
is to blame for this state OF affairs? All
Of Us Had We followed the finger Of
The Washington herald., 1914-07-26

4, to the fullest extent that but for your
influence ! should never have been the
man / am. I've made blunders enough,
heaven knows, but IL It hadn't been for
! you I should have made hundreds more.
| Just think Of the tomfool fads ! have
INDUCED In, will your
They weren't SO very foolish" she
protested.
You say that to let me down easy.
| but / realize how often I have made an
ass OF myself. All. there's the cat Kitty.
kitty, kittty?''
The cat came out from under the
lounge and sprang TO Mr.. Bowser's knees,
and he stroked her back and toyed with
! her ears and said:
"Just a cozy little family. aren't we?
| Do you remember that one nisht about
two weeks ago We differed as how 10
spell the word Wagon" I said there
was only one e In it, and you said
there was two. / want TO ask your for
giveness OF course you were right"
! There's nothing to forgive" replied
Mrs. Bowser. People are often mis-
taken about a word"
But I got mad and called you an
idiot. wish some one had been at hand
to kick me. About the last coal BILL
said We had burned a ton a week and
| Jumped up and down and bulldozed
around. and it's a wonder you kept your
temper as you did. Please forgive me
for that"
You thought you were right"
Yes, but I made q fool OF myself. as
I had a hundred times before. Even II
We had used a ton a week you couldn't
help IL. You don't make the weather.
| II there was ever a wife who looked
after things around the house with a
determination to help her husband II is
you. don't believe cents worth OF
stun Is wasted in a year"
Il try to do my best" she responded.
but at the same time wishing that Jones
or Brown would come In and interrup.
the conversation.
DO you remember the night / came
home and found a cIothespin on tht
doorstep continued Mr.. Bowser with
evident enjoyment II busted into the
hall and made as much fuss over that
old ,clothespin as II II had been dla-
mond sunburst. I stamped around ard
shouted and bulldozed and spoiled the
whole evening. Mrs. Bowser. why dlin't
you bristle up to me and tell me TO shut
right up or you'd leave? II you had hit
me with q crowbar that night, It would
have served me right Have you-can
you ever forgive me?''
There was q strange man here this
afternoon" she said determined 10 break
up the conversation at all hazards. and
/ think he wanted to see you about
land"
We'll, let him come when I'm home.
believe you told me long ago that you
had saved all my old love letters. Sup
pose you get EN- down, and we'll read
'em over"
IL don't think I could find them to-
night. Shall We run into Browns for an
hour"
I'm too comfortable to 60 out Wasn't
1t funny about my trying that bare
foot cure? When a man starts in to
make a fool OF himself the way I do
every little while, somebody ought to
take a club TO him. II ! bring a baseball
bat home. will you whack me with n
the first time act like an IDIOT
Mrs. Bowser was about 10 make an
excuse TO leave the room when the cook
The Washington herald., 1914-07-26
THE OVERLAND TRAIL

In the old days OF the overland trail.
stage coach, stage stations had been
erected at a distance OF fifteen miles
apart throughout the length Of the whole
trail. After the first thirty miles from
the Missouri River no coach was safe
from attack until it reached San Fran
cisco. 1t was a misnomer to say the
stations were erected" Most Of them
were dugouts-that is. a hole or cellar
four or five feet deep was dug and then
covered with slabs OF timber to support
two feet Of dirt The stables were made
in the same way, while the hay was
stacked. There was generally an under
ground passage leading from the house
to the stables House and stables were
loop-holed for rifles, the doors constructed
Of timber or covered with boiler iron.
and there was not one of them which
was not attacked a dozen times over
The Indians could not use fire as a
weapon, nor could they carry a station
by assault, but they captured many of
was the life OF a company employe ever
spared. The distance between stations
with the feeble garrison maintained at
each, prevented any hope or relief in
case of attack. Indeed, the orders were:
Defend your own station. Only the
last man alive is to break through the
Indians If he can"
Never was greater hardihood and brav-
cry exhibited than by the men selected
to drive the coaches. Knowing what the
risks were, 1t seems strange that any
passenger could have been found to hu
them, but in the last two years preced-
ing the opening Of the Pacific road the
coaches averaged five passengers each
way, and many Of them were women.
At q few points on the long route a
guard rode for q few miles with the
coaches. but for the most Of the distance
the driver and passengers must take
care Of themselves There was hardly
a week without its tragedy.
AS the stage toilsd through the heavy
sand OF some strips OF desert, or met
several miles OF stony and uphill trail.
a band Of a hundred yelling warriors
would suddenly appear. The driver must
fight as well as guide his excited team.
The passengers fired from the open
doors. and II the attack was beaten of
It was = case Of luck. It was when the
The Washington herald., 1914-07-26

| Overland company finally appealed to
! Kansas that Gen. Custer was sent-out
with a brigade Of troopers Fourteen
stations had been attacked and wiped
out, and the stages had ceased to run
over a distance OF almost 900 miles
Custer couldn't hope to strike a telling
blow against the hordes in the field. hut
he laid his plans to open the route and
drive the Indians back from it.
AS We followed the trail to the West
We picked up station after station, show
ing grewsome sights. In each and every
case a stout defense had been made, but
the Indians had prevailed. Kegs OF pow
der had been used to blow open the doors
or tear out the roofs, and even though
the warriors had lost ten to one. they
had destroyed the station. Burning HUI
was a relay station. with eight men to
guard 1t and care for the extra horees.
The last stage from the East had come
in after a race OF FIVE miles, with the
driver and three pale passengers wound
ed-some Of them twice and three times.
1t was one of the largest and most de-
fensible stations on the route, and there
was no thought OF anything but beating
the Indians off. no matter what their
force.
Clusters whole command witnessed the
arrival Of the last stage from the West
the last for several weeks. From a hill
top three miles from the trail. with i'm
passable gullies between. we saw the
coach come up the trail with 100 Indians
pursuing it. 1t was running fight,
which aroused every man to the highest
pitch OF excitement, but We were help
less to extend aid Tnrough the clear
air OF a summers Afternoon we saw the
stage horses shot down and the coach
overtaken. The passengers made q brave
fight to the last, but none OF them
escaped. 1t was night before we had
made our detour and reached the sta
ton. and the Indians had departed long
before. They had captured the station
two hours before they attacked the
stage. II had held out against them for
three days, and 1t was not until forty
Indians had been killed or wounded that
they got possession OF II by digging
under the walls and using o ksg of
powder.
If Burning Hi had failed TO hold out,
how would 1t be with Pawnee Flat, the
nexeestation to the west, and with White
Horse, the next after that? The nrst
was four-mRn station, and the next q
relay Of eight. Az we rode away through
the night not a man had the slightest
hope OF Pawnee, though we knew u
The Washington herald., 1914-07-26

place Of his smile, and he shouted:
What's this? What's this? You've
been running In debt again"
The butcher couldn't change a bill,'
explained Mrs. Bowser.
Debts. debts, debts exclaimed Mr.
Bowser as he flung the cat half way
across the room and jumped UP and
swung his arms in the air. Woman,
haven't I warned you a million times
about this reckless extravaganza? II
gave you 800 a week 10 run this house
on. you'd still be In debt, or all the
eXtravsgant. reckless spendthrifts l ever
saw. you are the worst"
But It wasn't running in debt had
a bill, and he couldn't change IL, / eX-
pected TO pay it tomorrow
What's tomorrow got to do with Il?
I tell you not 10 run in debt, and you
defy me. I'm looking at the principle
Of the thing. Mrs. Bowser. this is TOO
much-too much"
You are getting excited over nothing So
she replied. We had TO have meat. and
the butcher couldn't change a so bill
Wreck. ruin anb ~ Poorhouse"" he
groaned as he walked about. It's no
wonder I'm old and bent and gray before
my time. Thousands OF S!~thespins on
the front steps. tons Of broken dishes
in the backyard-waste and extravaganza
everywhere And you sit there-and You
sit there and smile over it, I am about
to retire 10 the library. I desire to ar
range my business affairs and see IL I've
got ? cents left. While I am doing so
you can break up the chairs, smash the
piano and kick holes in the carpet. Good
night. madam"
And when he had gone the cat came
over and sat down beside Mrs. Bowser
and looked up into her face and smiled
with her.
The Washington herald., 1914-07-26

your highness will fnd yourself stand
ing on the back Of your neck"
Such talk TO me, and Begun of Bally-
no." roared his majesty as he jumped
on his hat. I'D like to see the machine
that would dare take such liberties,
Bind those skates on my feet and give
me room to cavort.'
III you would only take a few
lessons"
Shut up. thou cucumber Of the sand
hills
Five minutes later the Begun was
ready TO cavort. The crowd had return
ed. and he meant TO show his snartness
The little wheels under him wouldn't
stand still. but he drew a long breath.
winked at his P. NJ, and started or
He had Just time to compare the sensa-
ton with that OF sliding down a hay
stack when up went his heels and down
came his head, and the heavens and the
earth and the city hall and the post
office danced around him and walked over
him. When he could again get the hang
of the multiplication table. he was back
in his Illace, and the skates were of his
feet. Sitting up and feeling Of the lump
on the back OF his head he cried out:
What no, ye scullions OF the earth.
but bring hither young Ben Hislup"
tOunB Den was sOOn dragged IN Dy tne
neck, and the shaking OF his knees was
like that OF q cornstalk In a gale Of wind
For having introduced a novelty into
my kingdom, I thank thee" said the
Begun, as the lump on the back OF his
head grew larger.
''N-no thanks" stammered the young
man.
For having an eye to the amusement
and exercise OF your ruler hereby re-
ward thee with 1000 scudi."
Don't mention It"
For having warned me in advance that
I might make q circus Of myself make
thee captain OF the royal hencoop."
Your majesty overwhelms me-"
But" shouted the Begun. as his toes
curled and his eyebrows lifted. for hav-
ing aided your revered and sacred ruler
to make an ass OF himself hereby con-
denim you to death. and you won't have
time to utter over three boots before
you will be q head shorter"
Young Ben was duly shortened by q
head, but he made no kick over II. In
his pockets was a deck OF cards and he
was intending to introduce the game Of
poker, and his head would have gone
anyway the first time the Begun lost the
pot on q pair Of five spots
The Washington herald., 1914-07-26
The Patent chIck-n-carrier.

Brother Abraham Hisginbottom. who
had been asked TO investigate and re-
port on the subject Of riding the bike
at sight, announced that he was ready
with his remarks In order to get at
bottom facts he had praeticed night rid
ing for the last four weeks Up 10 10
o'clock, and so long as he had lighted
q lantern and the police were about, he
had felt no peculiar sensation. After
that Eour he had. The bike had instinct
lively taken its way toward the subures
The lantern had gone out and the
thoughts OF its rider turned to chicken
pot-pie, chicken on toast. chicken served
up in various ways. His eyes began to
search the darkness for alleys and hem
coops-his ears were strained to catch
the suppressed crow Of the chanticleer-
he found the taste Of watermelon in his
mouth. The result was inevitable. BY
and by the bike stopped and bounced him
on. A shed was close at hand. Within
the shed roasted a score OF leghorns. II
was needless to say more. but he desired
to call the attention OF the club to the
fact that he had invented q chicken
carrier, 20 be attached TO the bike-An
arrangement which would hold four fat
chickens and still preserve an innocent
look in his eyes Of a policeman. Brother
Higginbottom was greeted with applause
as he closed his remarks and sat down.
and although nothing was said about
adopting this report. IL was plainly eyi-
dent that a large majority Of members
leaned that way.
The Washington herald., 1914-07-26
PERSIAN TALES
The Begun of Bally-ho Tries Roller Skating

One day as the Begun of BaIly-ho was
riding through his capital city to see II
the Iampposts were plumb-up and down
and the ordinance against baby carts
duly enforced he came upon a crowd
which almost blocked the way:
How now. Assim?' he shouted to his
Prime Minister as a thundercioud gath
cred on his brow. rs the progress of
our royal highness to be impeded in our
own streets by a bobtailed crowd like
this?"
Not by the beard OF my father" was
the reply Of the P. M. and he proceeded
to lop of seventeen heads and scatter
the crowd.
Then the Begun beheld young man
with curious things fastened to his/feet,
and he was circling and curleycuing
about in a fantastic way.
Now by the tombstone OF the sacred
ass. but here is something that aroused
my curosity!" said the mighty ruler as
he descended from his horse. "Caitin,
who art thour'
only Ben Hislup. your highness" was
the humble roply.
And what do you call those things on
your feet?"
They are roller skates, o ruler OF q
hundred million subjects. not one Of whom
10 At to lick the soles OF your sandals.
They are an invention Of the Yankee ma
ton In the land beyond the sea-"
And what is the obJect?
Exercise and amusement. o might
ness You may notice that / sweat under
the collar. which is good for stifr knees.
You observe that 1 circle and glide and
skim and cut pigeon-wings. which is
amusement"
by John, but It Isl exclaimed the
Begun. I've struck something new,
and I'm going to see It through. Tve al
ways wanted to be a ruler on wheels,
and now here is my chance. Scum OF
the earth, hand over those skates!"
Your humble scum obeys." replied the
young man. 'but he would also give your
mighty and rsspiendant majesty a word
Of warning A pair Of roller skates hath
ways their own. In fact, each skate
hath q way Of its own, and each way
IL different. Unless due care 10 taken