davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
In the Hands of a Scout

The doctor could do this mechanically while working out in his mind a new chapter in his celebrated work regarding the Greek particles.
 The names were a bother. of course, but the victims always supplied them when he went wrong and he was not seriously disturbed.
 Verdant and his father were handed over by the doctors servant to scout --one of those college valets who waited upon several young gentlemen and derived no small emoluments from that service.
 The scout took them to an old. old Building and up three flights of old, old twisting stairs, which the squire de- clared to be--well, the worst stairs he had ever seen.
 "Yes.' replied the scout affably, that is just what Mir. Bouncer says when he comes home pleasant from a wine party i--although he don't reach as high as you do. sir. He says they are the awk- wardest stairs that was ever put under . mans feet.
 And he did go so faI, sir. as to sug gest to the master that he ought to have stairs that went up by themselves -as they do at the Call-an -see-um in London."
 Hroliseup,o corrected Vardant
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
Speaking Different Tongues

'1 ax your pardon, guv'nor," replied the Pet, T didn't so much care about the mortarboard. btu I couldn't do noth- ing no how with tother thing, so l Iocketed him. But some cove must have gone and prigged him-for he aint here"
 'I am unable to comprehend the na- ture of your language sir replied the proctor: T desire to know your name and college sir.'
 The proctor was indignant-he thought be was being made game of. ' Charles Larkyns stepped forward and told the truth.
 70, indeed" said the proctor, well, we'll: you have used your skill to very great advantage and displayed pugilis- tic powers not unworthy of the athletes and mystics of the noblest days Of Rome. As palaestric you would have gained palms in the Circus Maximus.
 The Pet stared at the proctor, not knowing any more what that worthy man was talking about than the proc tor had known what the Pet was talk ing auout before.
 You see it is impossible for two men. placed in widely sundered spheres of life, though fighting in he same scrap and speaking the same tongue, to talk to each other and their words convey as little meaning as if one spoke Arabic and the other Choctaw.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
Dr. Portman's Welcome

He would not see his son plunge into the perils of the unknonw alone-he him. self would accompany him to Oxford and see him settled there, come what might.
 So the squire took Verdant to Oxford and double gloom hung over Green Manor until the patriarch's return.
 He had been unmercifully 'guyed" by the ergraduates-though he did not know it--had been addressed by the col lege authorities upon whom he had called, with the formulated sentences which they had used for many long and weary years to doting fathers in like con- Gition.
 Why, Dr. Portman, the master of Brazenface college, where Verdant was 10 matriculate, could say, as he did to Squire Green:
 We are very full, but as I do expect great things from MT. Virgin-(Verdant), interrupted the squire)-Verdant. yerdant, l have put some rooms at his service. And if you would like to see them my servant will show you the way.
 "I am sorry Mr a-a-Green that my engagements prevent me from asking you and MT. Virgin-Verdant-to dine with me today. But the next time you come to Oxford I hope that l shall be more for tpnate."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12

and would have suffered more had 1t not been for the protection of Charles Lar kyns and especially of the Putney Pet, an ex-prize fighter and professional in structor in the noble art of self-defense, who had been brought down from Lon don by LarlSyns, Bouncer and others to fight on the side of scholarship and cru dition and furnished with mortar board cap and college gown before the aca- demic party sallied forth.
 Verdant was not the only person who profited by the presence of the Pet that night, for the senior proctor of Exeter college, Rev MT. Tozer, sallying forth to quell the disturbance, was previously assaulted by the town people. and though he fought nobly, was being rather aged and stout, a a great dis advantage until the Pet came to his rescue
 When the riot was over and the sownsmen victorious, MT Toaier. who was a strict disciplnarian, said to the Pet: "Why have you not your gown on, Sir?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
Mir. Bouncer's Vacation

''Xes. yes-- no doubt. And the master Uays that, perhaps. when MT. Bouncer gets back from the country he will find the Improvements all ready.
 "For you see, sir, that MT. Bouncer had made himself so uncommon pleas ant that he had gone out into the town and taken a tin sign and hung it on the masters private door, so that when the young gentlemen went to early chapel they read that the master was 1icehsed to sell small beer and to be drunk on the premises.' So MT. Bouncer went to the country for a year to get change of air and to visit his friends"
 "Very kind of Dr. Portman," said Yer dant gravely, who took his suspension --or "rustication," as the Oxonians call tt-for a kind of forgiveness on the part of the master.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12

Inspected the quarters, the rooms are not so very bad. But I wish they were not so high up. If fire breaks out do not see how you are to escape and l am afraid the collegians are very careless in the matter of fire.
 Indeed, your mother made me prom ise that I would speak to pr. Portman about 1t and ask him to have your tutor, or somebody, see that your fire was raked out at night. I intended to do so, but somehow quite forgot it."
 MT Fileher, the scout, here interposed to open a little closet and say:
 This is my room, sir for keeping your cups and saucers and your wine glasses and that sort of thing-and for washin 'em up when you wants them. If you likes to keep your wine and sperrits here, sir (Mr. Smalls always ai34 you'll find it nice place
 "Or else 'ere's this ere window seat You see. sir, it opens with a spring, andy for that purpose"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12

sweeping over him and he was in danger Of blushing.
 And 1 can smoke a weed-a cigar, you know. I've learned that"
 70 Verdant, you naughty boy" cried Mrs. Green. 'I was deadly afraid that Charles Larkyns would teach you all his wicked school habits"
 This attack upon the character of Charles Larkyns was not to pass unchal- lenged. Little Miss Mary at once bridled up.
 Why mama crisd she. 'all gentlemen smoke, and I suppose that Mr Charles lsrkyns and Verdant must do as others do. But l daresay, verdant, that MT Larkyns taught you more useful things tran smoking"
 From this little ebullition of little Mary her attitude toward MT. Charles Larkyns may be vaguely guessed.
 70 yes, he taught me to grill a deviled bcne, went on Verdant.
 Grill devilr' almost soLbed Aunt vir- ginia, infatuated young man.
 The venerable spinster thought of her will and of the advisability of altering certain clause in 1t which dealt with MT Verdant Green.
 And to make shandy-gaff, and sherry cobbler, an egg flip,' went on the rois- tefing blade; oh it's capital. I'll teach you how to make 1t and we'll have some tonight"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
Snoken by the OrOcle

Mrs. Green and Aunt Virginia sat or sofa at one side. Mary sat on foot stool at her brothers knee, while Miss Fanny hung on the back of the chaii on the left side and Miss Helen hung over on the right side, gazing dowr with looks of devotion The stout squire stood up on the left at 9 respectful dis tance
 The oracle--as all well regulated ora cles have since "Delos rose and Phoebus sprang" "-delivered himself of quantity cs well considered and carefully prepared utterances.
 His anecdotes of Oxford college life had been studiously gotten up for home consumption. and his description of OK ford itself did credit to his memory. For he had only read his culled passages over two or three times in the Oxford guide book.
 Well" said MT. Green when the Ora cle had, at length, run down, tell us what you learned at Oxford
 ''Why,' replied our hero. 'T have learned to think for myself and not to be- lieve everything I hear. And I think l can fight my way in the world, And l can ehaff a cad"
 ''Shaff a cad!' groaned Miss Virginia, thinking 1t was something dreadful
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
Is Victim of MonOmania

Why, Charles Larkyns!' gasped Yer dant, don't you remember me?"
 At the sound of his voice Charles sprang up and, grasping Verdant by both hands, greeted him warmly. asking a thousand pardons for his mistake.
 q am said Charles "a victim of a peculiar monomania. There are, in this place, wretched beings who call them selves tradesmen and who labor under the impression that I owe them what they call little bills; and, though I have frequently told their messengers, when they were kind enough to call and ask for MT Larkyns, that that unfortunate gentleman had been obliged to hide him. sell in convent abroad, yet the wretches stlll hammer at my door and disturb my peace of mind.
 But bring yourself to an anchor. rms man is Smalls a capital fellow. smalls, this is Mir. Verdant Green-a- henl-freshman, and the proprietor, I be- neVe, of your old rooms"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
Off for Oxford

The rector had son already at Oxford, Charles, who was destined for the min istry.
 He was a wise old clergyman and he knew that while Verdant had most es- timable qualities, nothing would ever make man out of him but getting un- tied from the family apron strings.
 So he argued with the squire and gave tim no peace until at length Mr. Green consented that Verdant should go down" to Oxford
 Verdants adoring family took leave of him as if he had been starting on an ex- redition to discover the north pole-it had not been discovered in those days, of oourse-nor had he been a marquis of the 'old regime'' mounting the tumbril to go to the Place de la Revolution to have his head cut off
 That fig, all the family took leave of him except the worthy squire. His sturdy native resolution came to his aid.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
Other Kinds of Knowledge

And thus the young gentleman aston- 1shed his family with the extent of his learning and proved how youth of naturally good attainments may acquire at great university, other Knowledge than what simply pertains to classical literature.
 And so much experience had our hero gained that. when the long vacation was over and he returned to Brazen- race with his firm and fast friend, Charles Larkyns. he felt himself en- titled to assume patronizing airs to the freshment who then entered and even sought to impose upon their credulity ln ways which his own personal experi- ence suggested.
 It was clear that Mir Verdant Green had made his farewell bow as an OK ford freshman.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
Awakened by Champagne

Patty got him away from the table or rather the cloth spread on the grass which served as table-and said: What. is the matter with you? You act veryl strange today That old gypsy seems to have upset you"
 And do you think that the dark man she spoke off replied Verdant, was a figment of her own ina agination?' "Of course" returned Patty. 'there is always a dark man or a dark woman in their stories."
 But the lady she described was ev- idently you
 Very likely; just as she would have described any other young lady who chanced to be with you The gypsy knew her trade"
 Many a true word is spoken in jest,'4 said yerdant, giving utterance to an eu. tirely original phrase.
 T think" said Patty, that the gypsy said that the lady preferred the light- haired man."
 The champaign was now taking charge of Verdant's natural bashfullness and putting 1t in the guard house. It was also awakening his poetic sensibilities. He became voluble and even quoted some of his own unpublished poems when he thought the idea pr the sentence applied and was effective.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
\ CL A 5 SIC
 l N A P A c E

Although he wrote several stories of a mildly humorous nature Cuthbert Bede is remembered alone by his story of ''The Adventures of Verdant Green" That story lives and will live.
 MT. Bradley had, at first great trouble in finding a publisher for it. Finally it was issued in three parts: the first in 1853, the second in 1884 and the third in 1856. Finally the three parts were bound in one volume, and by 1870 100000 copies had been sold. The next year the number of volumes sold was doubled and it has been selling ever since. It has taken it's place as one of the minor English clas- sics-and hardly minor at that.
 The story won MT. Bradley reputation and competence It introduced him into the very highest literary society of Eng land. And it is probable that it also brought him church preferment; for upon the great success of "Verdant Green" he was appointed rector at Stretton.
 He repaired the church there at a cost Of $10,000, most of which he raised by lec- lures. and now lies buried In Stretton church yard. The story is wholly humor- ous and notwithstanding on the style of ''Pickwick.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
A Friendly Call

Ana Verdant was left with all his troubles before him.
 One of the first things he did was to call upon MT. Charles Lar<yns. MT. Lar kyns was taking his ease in a dressing gown and slippers.
 His room had a decidedly sporty look: Star on the Derby copies of some of Landseer's pictures, a fox's ma six" and two "brushes"-otherwise the head of a fox and two fox tails-were a part of the adornments.
 The mirror was stuck full of trades mems cards and unpaid tradesmens bills. There was a collection of sticks, whips, spurs, fishing rods, cricket bats, boxing gloves. foils, etc And on the table boxes of cigars.
 Lounging in an easy chair opposite Mir Larkyns was gentleman clad in tar tan plaid costume whose face could be dimly discerned through the glass bottom of a pewter mug from which he was extracting the last drop of ale Two Skye terriers parked as Verdant after gently knocking, opened the door.
 "Who goes there" demanded MT. Lar kyns Tt is no use coming here, young man. I don't owe you anthing, and if did it's not convenient to pay. And now my friend, you had better make yourself scarce. You know where the door lies'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
Crumpled Hopes

Until today" said he, 'T had hoped. It seems that I have built up my hopes on false foundation and one word of yours has crumbled them to dust
 He reiterated this little quotation aboN crumbled hopes. Patty looked trihe bdl wildered and said with a smile, What have l done to cause such ruin?' Tt causes you no pain to utter those words" said Verdant. again quoting from one of his unpublished poems, but to me they toll the znell of my happiness
 Decidedly, decidedly,'' thought Polly, The has taken too much champaigne."
 What do you mean?' she said with some asperity. ~What are you talking about?'
 And have you forgotten what you said to me in reply to a question that I asked you as we came up the hll?"
 ''Yes, I have forgotten. What was it?"
 You told me that Captain Duval had proposed and been accepted"
 Yes, that is so. 0. I little expected this," almost wept Patty. 'Why did you not tell me?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12

The London Lancet's columns have beer enlivened for the last few weeks bv h,i4 and at times acrimonious correspondencs between F. L. Hoffman, the American s,atisucian, and several European doc- tors, says the New York World If be. gan when Mir. Hoffman. by figures based upon the vital statistics of America. showed that cancer was on the increase. pr. Bashford wrote asserting that these statistics proved nothing as they were utterly unreliable. Whereupon Hr Hoff- man retorted savagely asserting that American mortality statistics were as re. liable and as systematically kept as those or any other country Then pr. TIorst oertei, German physician practicine III London, threw his gauntlet into ina ring With still more scathing criticism lie said that our mortality statistics were uhtrustworthy not because of carelessIy ,'i lepo,thhs deaths or keeping and com- p,ins tne records, but because of the in- ability of vast number of Americsz doctors 10 diagnose case correctly AS evidence of this he cited the fact that at Bellevue hospital in 1912 there wore RHO deaths. in which autopsies were held in only 4S2 cases yet of these 4S2 AT Der cent were proved by the autopsies to have died of something other than the disease that had been diagnosed.
 For this conditions Dr. Oertel did net blame the doctors so much as the svs-
  tenn under which they are trained. Medi- cal students in this country have nothing like the opportunity to study patholog,f' by dissection that is offordsd in the csi- leges of Europe. Nor have they an.s thing like the opportunity to assist at on- eration upon the living
 pr. Oertel backed up his assertions by citing the reports of the Carnegie founda tion of the inadequacy of the tuition fin many American medical colleges ana tb. perfunctory character of the examina- tons even In such relatively advanced states as New York
 Only about 10 per cent of those dying in Bellevue are turned over to the doctors ana students for dissection. as against s4 per cent at University College hospital. London; 20 per cent at most of the Ger man hospitals and 99.e per cent at tho Allgemeines Krankenhaus, Vienna. which means that European doctors begin prac- uce With a far more thorough knowledge of pathology than is possible in Ameri7... under present conditions. ,&
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
BY CUTHBERT BEDE (Rev. Edward Bradley)
B Y

out? It Is a secret for the present and we do not wish anyone to know of it.'
 My dear Patty" came a voice, where have you been? We thought the gypsies had stolen you.'' It was Captain Duval.
 My last hope is bone" thought Yer dant. "I have heard my fate from her own lips.'
 The picnic dinner was spread. It was most substantial one and was accom- panied by a variety of liquid refresh- ments. Verdant ate little. but applied himself with assiduity to the champaign. He would drown his sorrows.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
The Hero Returns


 The time came at length when Yer dant could go home on vacatlon Re stored to the bosom of his family our hero became a domestic ldol. As mas been said of greater man. "They in- censed him with the coffee pot and flung tea leaves around him.
 And the clothes he had on. The "shriekiest' sort of plaids or rainbow hues and shirt with race horses stamped on its broad front. And-wouid you believe it?-the lamb had a sort Of swagger with him.
 All the family agreed that his natural attractions had been greatly enhanced by his stay at oxford. The servants hall echoed the opinion of the drawing room that "ONford had made quite a man out of MT. Verdant"
 They nlaced the hero in a comfortable armchair and grouped themselves Tor the Delphic rites-the speaking of the Oracle
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
His Annual Cleanup

from stray Stories M
 YOU ought to be ashamed of yourself.N. onserVei the Sunday school teacher, se-' Vereiy' 10 the small girl who had but too obviously ommitted to wash her face that morning: Look at your little brother; see now nice and clean he is?"
 The small girl sniffed. "we!l,'' .sr- -e- piled. "its his birfday.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
The Last Night of December

It is an old saying that gratitude begets love. Verdant had already reached the first part. of this danger ous creation, for he felt grateful to Miss Patty for the trouble she had bestowed upon his awkardness.
 It Is the last night of December The old year. worn out and spent with age. lies a-dying, wrapped in sheets of snow.
 Silently through the snow steals a certain carriage to the portals of the Green Manor, and, with a ringing of bells and a banging of steps, the oc- cupants disappear in a stream of light that issues from the hall door.
 Another carriage Is heard, it's wheels crunching on the snow. Again hospi- table streak of light from the hall door which engulfs the guests.
 It was a gay party-and they played charades and danced and ate and sang and had music of the instrumental sort.
 The Green girls looked particularly lovely and there were so many "eligi- ble" young men present that MT. Mole. the gardener. confided to his equally as- tute wife that fits my belief that mas ter gives this party to get husbands for the young ladies'"
 An opinion which. though 1t might not have been founded cn fact in regard to this particular party, would, doubtless. be applicable to many similar parties given under similar circumstances.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
Understood at Last


 "rt is very kind of you thus to feel fop me- said Verdant, "and all I ask is that you will still be my friend" Yes, yes, that I will always dear Yer dant. And l am sure Kitty will wish it to be the same. Why did you not tell me that you were attached to herr" 'Her!" cried Verdant.
 Yes; Captain Duval is to be married to Kitty in year from now. Father thinks she is too young to be married at once i Verdant wanted to kick himself but compromised by saying: "Wel, it does seem as if love was b.ind Patty, it is you l am in love with. and thought you were going to marry the captain He walked up and down a few times and then said: "Patty--I love you-dc, you love me?'' k In low voice Patty replied: "I do" fo1cks, unearthed at last" came a crJ ana nttie MT. Bouncer came bounding intio the retreat. But he was too late thils time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
A Double Wedding

Patty insisted that Verdant 20 bac cl< to Oxford and finish his course He did so. Then there was a double wedding at the ruined Church of Last Hope in North- umberland.
 The principal performers were Captain DuVal and Miss Kitty Honeywood Mr. Verdant Green and Miss Patty Honev- wood, Perhaps the brides remembered what took place at that wedding The prlaegrooms, upon comparing notes after- ward, found that they did not
 They remembered going into the ch,lrcly distinctly; of somebody trying to marrf them off to the wrong girl and of answer, Ing l wilP' or 'I do,' to several aues- tions.
 when they came to themselves thew were Tn their travelling carriages and be4 slde them were their wives.
 somewhat later there was another mars rage at Green Manor, the high contract Ing parties being Miss Mary Green and the Rev. Charles Larllyns, now in holy orders
 Thus ends the adventures of Mr. ver- dant Green. He was kind landlord and sent his son to college
 Copyright, 1914, by Irving King) |
 Next weeks one-page classic will be. Prince Eugene" by Luise Muhlbach.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
Everything Handy

There were two ltlIe rooms in the suit assigned to Verdant. One was q eubbyhole of bedroom. There was no Guperfluity of furniture.
 "Well. said the squire. after he had
The Birmingham age-herald., 1914-07-12
His Constant Partner

We will not dwell longer upon Yer dant's college career, amusing and in- structive as it was, but come to the time when, being we'll along in his course, he went down to Green Manor to keep the Christmas holidays.
 Charles Larkyns went to the rectory to keep the holidays also, and took with him as his guest the Versatile Bouncer.
 Also as guests at the rectory were the Misses Honeywood cousins of Charles Larlyns, their father a landed proprietor in northern Northuulberland. Blooming girls they were. Miss Patty and Miss Kitty, children of the rector's only sister
 The Manor Green saw such revels as had not been seen there for many a long year. For miles around the gentry came to the festivals. Every night, in the language of the playbills, there were singing, dancing and a variety of other entertainments"
 Verdant performed more pollkas in that, alas, too short Christmas week than he had before in his whole life and Miss Patty Honeywood was his constant partner and Instructor
 She was both good natured and per severing, allowed Verdant to dance on her feet without Nurmur, and watch fully guided him when he was in dan- ger of collision with foreign bodies.