The broad ax., 1914-10-17

When grown ne went IN pOuuc8s
Becoming great,
And people found he would with skill
Investigate
He grew until he got inside
A statesman's roses.
A government commission formed.
And now he probes.
New York Evening Sun.
Helping the Preacher.
A preacher, raising his eyes from bill
desk In the midst Of his sermon, wa:
paralyzed with amaZement to see hii
rude boy In the gallery pelting the
hearers In the pews below with horse
chestnuts. But while the good MAJ
was preparing his frown Of reproOf the
young hopeful cried out:
you tend to your preachin', daddy
I'll keep 'em awake."-Exchange.
Qualified Praise.
There are people. by the by,
Who must always qualify.
what about that fellow. heyH
Oh. he's hOnest-in a way?'
Never as things peg along
Do they come out good and strong.
Speaking OF a girl they say,
"Yes, she's pretty-in a way"
In the course OF life's affairs
At the end they may get theirs
The recording angel may
Find them wanting-in a weigh
Seattle Post-Intelligencer.
-
Cause For Sorrow.
The old hog wore a melancholy ex-
preston.
why are you sad every time you
see a hen passingT' asked the little
pig.
Il cannot help thinking OF ham and
EGGS" replied the old one.-Philadel.
phia Ledger.
Misunderstood.
She sighed in such a plaintive way.
pitied her. vow,
And sought to kiss her grief away.
She is the plaintiff now!
Judge
Another sad and wistful maid
L bOldCtu When QGEDOuQGnL
Her husband stopped It I'm afraid
That I'm the correspondent
Spokane Spokesman-Re Review.
Of Different Mind.
'-Going to divorce your husband, ehl
Let me recommend my lawyer. he got
me my divorce without the slightest
publicity"
"Glad you told me about him I
might have made a mistake and en-
ployed him II you had not"-Houston
Post
Going Away.
You tell your friends. the wombatA,
That you're for Paris bound.
To this they rise and straight sur1nise
At Newport they'll be found
Full soon you seek at ten a week
A boarding place somewhere
And, the next day. to your dismay,
The Wombats turn up there
Kansas City Journal
Tearing the Halo.
That mans been In the wars he
told me Of all the men he killed and
all the wounds he got"
Then / suppose those are his scars
OF glory he was showingT
Nope. That's where our dog bit
him "-Baltimore American.
Przemysl.
I''PrzemysP' is pronounced "Pschem-
sh. "-Newspaper Item.l
There was a young lady OF Przemysl
Whose family tree had q blemysL
Her father was Prussian,
Her mother was Russian,
And her uncle and aunt were both Elem |
ysL
Philadelphia Ledger.
At the Museum.
whats the matter with the glass
saterY
He ate a couple Of windows last
evening, and think he must have a |
pane in bis stomach" Baltimore
American.
Devotion.
z had q thousand lives to live
I'd live them all for you
Z had q thousand hearts to give
You'd get the thousand, Sue.
IN the other hand, In the winters storm.
When you're 80 cold you're blue,
Z you had hundred feet to warm
I'd warm them all for you'll
New York Mail
Her Only Excuse.
Did you hear about Mrs.. Aidly's
atest7 She actually kissed her hus-
and goodby at the railway station"
The simple old dearI She's hope
essly old fashioned. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Human Mature.
wish had q syIlabub, a protoplasm ana
large three conered cummerbund q
hagp In each hand
could not ten you what they are Il, fan
tnR. IA be shot
,hs reason why want thsm d bseauSsl
have them not.
Quit a. Thina-