Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1914-05-08
farmer SMITHS
BITTER LESSON
Christmas Mail Order Ship
ment Proves Nightmare.
BARGAINS" ARE 4 OELuSI0N

to Home Town Store, Sees What He
Buys and Makes Vow Never Again
to Patronize Catalogue House-No
More Wonder Book Stuff.
Copyrighted 1914. by Thomas J. Sullivan. !
Experience is the name men give
their ioIlirS and their sorrows 1t Is
the successive disenchantment of the
things of life
1t is reason enriched by the spOils Of
the heart. At least that is Smiths IN
terpretatiou Of experience.
pisaereeable Brand Of Wetness.
One December ii happened that the
weather man seemed to cOnspire with
the mail order man. He turned out a
diSngreeable brand of wetness that till
ed the farmers with distaSte for the
''Open road" that David GruysOn So
enthusiastically praises IN all seasons.
But all farmers are not optimistic.
like David.
Farmer Smith liked the comfort Of
his sheltered home. So he naturally
was attracted by an invitation from
the mail order house to sit down in
an easy chair before the fire and select
his Christmas supplies from the pages
of wonder book left at his front gate
by the r F n mnn
Wonder Book Solves Problem.
The idea seemed mighty attractive
and comfortable. He thought he might
as we'll experiment once anyway.
So hp and his wife had nice time
filing out the yellow order slip accord
ing to their needs and revenue.
Then they sent it on It's way to the
firm which promised them thrilling bar
gains in all lines of merc ha ndise from
pins to palaces.
The Smiths had made one trip to
town. The day had been characterized
by haste. hunger and worry. They
hadn't had time t. buy what they
wanted
| So the catalogue seemed to solve the
problem for them. 1t seemed as II 1t
were going to save them lots Of time.
energy. money and brain tag.
Shipment Arrives.
1t was beautiful pre-Christmas
dream made mp in four measures Of
comfort. confidence. curiosity and hope
The awakening came afterward. like
wise the establishment.
Their shipment arrived two days be-
fore Christmas This was very reas-
surfing. But 1t necessitated special
s-i,& NRn0t a y.
press Office.
The e. o. D. express charges were
Unexpectedly high. The first intima.
ton Of mistake came with the real
ization that the express charges ex-
ceeded the difference in price between
home store and catalogue house arti'
| cles.
Traffic had been congested and the
passage rough. Damage was visible.
Smith hoped It wasn't serious. but he
took his stuff home with unpleasant
forebodings. and that night when the
family was asleep he and his wife
opened the package In the kitchen.
Caused Smith to Swear.
There was lot Of excelsior to IN
pack. but when the work was done and
the contents stood revealed there was a
verbal fireworks display on the part OF
Smith. who forgot for the moment that
ne was deacon IN the church. and
Mrs. Smiths tears were bitter.
rhe parIor lamp was a scream. Its
! embellishments were livid enough ia
ngnt a c"lored Baptist church without
the aid Of acetylene.
The hnndcraft Rattenberg looked as
" II had been made OH sweatshOp
machine intended for overalls. The
guaranteed pure wool overcoat assur-
10 them at n glance how thoroughly
they mad hpeIl fp.A.ed.
Passing ~ the balance of the IA
'pg.d bargnins." the baby's stocking
was the piece DE- resistance OF their
Christmas fpnst 1t was a tarlatan af-
fair Decorated with green and red
warn tnSsplS nnd filled with Junk that
represented the discard of n one cent
nuvpit! stock and eXuded suggestions
OF bacteria from top I" tm.
10 shopping az memo.
The stocking was the final straw.
Next morning Smith hitched mp old
Bpss. and ne and his wife plodded to
town again through the slush to get a
bona tide supply OF Christmas gifts.
What they bought then had the guar
antpe of the manufacturer. the dealer
and their own eyes. for by this time
the Smiths were strictly from Missouri
They had had their lesson.
But how many thousands OF Smiths
and Joneses in this country who have
mad a lesson. but hesitate-fn fact. alb.
solutely refrain-frOm letting their
neigbbOrS and friends know that they
have been through the same expert
ence!
The reason that they do not admit II
ia easily explained In few words
They are ashamed to acknowledge
their cupidity and are waiting the op'
portunity to see their neighbor bite.
After their neighbor fell into the trap
they decided that the best use to
which their catalogue could be put was
to lay 1t under the Yule log and start
holiday blaze going in the old fash
inuod frontoco