The Washington herald., 1914-04-27

butcher going to Australia to make
mutton contracts. and the impudence OF
the fellow almost paraiysed me. II was
evening before could get speech with
him. I trailed- him to his lair, where
he had gone for tobacco. and as en-
tered the place shut the door and stood
against II and kaid:
how dare you infilct your presence on
lady like my-my-like Mrs War
ner?"
''Are, you speaking to me?" beloved
the man as he bristied up.
''Of course I am.
Then III knock your blame head on
in one punch! Do you know who ! amir
"A butcher, expect"
"In butcher you! Why. you saphead
of a tailor, I'm going out to Australia TO
sell my sheep ranches for 10000 apiece
and then return to England 10
do not remember who struck the hrst
blow. but we thumped each other good
and hard until pulled apart by a steward
who heard the row. 1t was two days
before nv injured nose was presentaoie
on deck. I found Mrs. Warner very anx-
ious about me. She had missed me sadly,
she said, and the two days had seemed
two weeks to her. After ufin that even
ing, when I had gone to my CABIN 10
ChAnRe -,
banged open and a fellow named Rich-
ards entered. / had learned that he was
a needy lawyer. going out to the colony
in hopes to better his purse.
.'Sir. want a few plain words with
your'' began the miserable wretch as
confronted him. II am as good as en-
gagged to Mrs Warner. and II you VIII
only bear that in mind hereafter II may
save you trouble.
why. you are nothing out Top,
shouldered, lop-sided. dead-broke lawyer
Uou dare YOU talk Of love to my am
anced,
what. YOU old rag broker! why every
one aboard knows that am going out TO
Australia to sell my sheep and marry ana
settle down. have as good as as"
We came together. We clawed, kickeo'
hit and pulled hair. and we were Doth
badly damaged when we got through.
As / had escaped a black eye and ne
hadn't. was about again next day.
while he had TO haul on for week
The widow had heard that was ILL.,
and WAS not expecting me. I therefore
found her engaged in a desperate hirta-
ton with a man named Moss. The man
was down on the list as a broker, but
had believed him from the first TO be
a grocer For a long hour i stood and
watched and felt that his hearts blood
was mine. When he finally went to the
smoking-room, / followed after. and be-
fore he had time to light cigar thrust
my nose into his face and hissed:
You wretched weigher Of sanded
sugar. keep your hands OF after this or
III drive your teeth through the back
OF your head
Get away, your dealer in sprats and
shrimps-' he shouted as he raised his
hands. IT was going to hunt you up this
very evening and ell you that II you
even looked at the lady again I'd choke
your miserable life out!''
hit him on the chin and he countered
on my forehead, and then it was thump
and kick until several men came in and
separated us. For three days / was
laid up with various scratches, bruises
and swellings. and during that time the
young doctor thumped Mr.. Chadwick,
Mr.. Chadwick thumped Mr.. Richards,
Mr.. Richards savagely threatened a Mr..
Taylor. and Mr.. Taylor had openly
hoasted that he would hOrsewhip a Mr..
BeesOn as soon as We reached Sydney.
As soon as l could properly appear on
deck / decided to settle matters one way
or the other / was waiting for the widow
TO appear when was invited to the
smoking room to debate a matter OF bust
ness. l found the other twenty-four men
there w hen the meeting had been called
to order callOw youth arose and in
quired IL it was understood that the
whole twenty-five OF US were in love with
some woman. II was so understood. He
then stated that he felt himself engaged
to that woman, and wanted to know II
the rest of US did. We felt SO. Then
the callow youth asked II any one had
n suggestion to offer. Twenty-four sug
gestiOns were offered in chorus. but the
callow youth turned them all down for
one of his own.
Then everybody drew in his breath
and turned on his neighbor. but before
a blow had been struck the purser and
a lady STEPPED inside. II was Mrs. War
ner. She nodded and smiled to each man
of the twenty-four, and then the purser
cleared his throat and said:
Gentlemen. permit me TO introduce my
wife. ~ her little escapade has been the
cause"
But we all rose up and bowed and
laughed and shook hands all around. and
during the rest of the voyage peace and
harmony prevailed to such an extent that
the run was voted a bore.