Norwich bulletin., 1914-12-26

(NVritten Specially For The Buletin,J
 The world is full of records. O1e man has 8 record horse, and one has a 'srecord" COW, and one has record" for mile on a motorcycle, and another the record" for a hun dred yards dash on foot.
 There are cows that hold the ''rccori'' for milk and COWS that hold the .'rscord,' for butter. There are and sheep that won it for mutton 5y being butchered. There are dogs which hold the record" for number of prizes won, and cats which hold 1t for fufiness of fur and length of tail There are horses which have +he record" for pacing, and horses which have it for trotting, and horses which faaye 1t for running, and horses which have it for hHFdling and ditch jump ing. The only kind of horse l know about which isn't subject to some sort of .record" is a saw-horse. Why that has been so long neglected don't un- aeEstand. There are many kinds Of saw horses; some made hy carpenters out Of waste ends Of squared and blamed three-by-f -fours and fitted as tnuniTgiy as a bit of cabinet-work; and some made by. hurried farmers ont of cord-weod sticks pinned to- getaer anyhow with wooden skewers: and some made by boys out of old boards nailed together.
 doIi't sec why there shouldn't '. he saw-laorse record for the old sawbuck which has held the most Gor7s of wood to be sawed up, with out itself falling to pieces. The record of such a contraption would be of just about as much practical use te the ordinary farmer as are most og these other records which are par Isoted about so much.
 Fer the ordinary farmer isn't chas- ing "reeords" or rainbows much Of the time. One thing, he's usually got too much to do of real importance Another thing. he's usually got too much good sense And that isn't say ing that he's got any more of tflat than he ought to have, either!
 4 sreeord" in the sense we are talk fng about is simply the authenticated statement of something having been done by somebody or some animal which never before had quite been squaIIed. It holds till somebody else inr some other animal exceeds 1t. Then the record" goes to the new freak
 That's just what most t'records'' are: freaks.
 They are Of about as much praeti- farmer as other freaks, such as two headed calves and four-pound pota- toes.
 : never knew a two-headed calf, yet, which was really worth as much as a common vealer with the usual ad- Jection of one: I never knew a wo- man yet to hold that four-pound po- tatees were better for boiling ,r baking than smaller ones with smoother shape and fewer wens and warts and Iean-tos.
 Such things are right enough in a museum. to excite the '.OhS'' and ~Ahs" of rlIbber-necks and goggle- eyAs.. They. also--especially when they are 1orses,-supply the excuse for gamblers to gamble on. Some times, if the owner runs up against somebody with more money than jaag1neHt, they are good things to sell But as farm assets they aren't usually, worth while.
 The farmer who starts in at record -chasing usually likes to bragI better than to work He is also apt to. fail in what he sets out to do, and, % have his experience sold him very dearly.
 fence had neishbor who bought a. "rerord" cow. He paid more money. for her than seventeen COWS werej worth, to begin with. That wasn't course, and he was rich enough sol that he could afford to buy automo- hnes and aeroplanes and fancy cat tie, If hs wanted to blow in his money ln such ways.
 When he got her, he had to build the rest of us called it. She wasn't allowed to associate with the common vulgar COWS for fear she might catch tuberculosis or foot -and-meuth dis ease, or something else. She was kept bianlseted whenever there was a chin k4 ratWa 5