davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
HUBBY GOT THE GOODS, BUT
II Was the First Flush of the Hon
eymoon, and He Says
Never Aeain!"

Never again was the conclusion
of story told by young bridegroom
OF the month, after he related his eff
forts to please his bride by fulfilling
her every wish.
Sitting In his office few days after
the wedding he received telephone
call which was something like this;
"Dearie, do so hate to trouble you,
but l have >run out of lace for that
dress | was making, and cant finish
1t until have another yard. Can't
you stop at the store and get some AS
you come home-Oh. / can tell you
what It is like-just four leaves, then
a sprig, then four Eesves, then sprig
and so on--it's just two threads over
an inch wide
He hung up the receiver and moppec
his brow. He walked by the store
twice, finally entsred and approached
the lace counter. She was pretty, bu'
he had been married only a week ane
was busy repeating in his mind
-Four leaves. then a sprig,"
Well, after looking at 500 samples
of lace, l got II, but--'--lndianapoli'
News.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
ROCK COULDN'T FEAZE HIM
Big Stone Bounded of lrlshman, but
Killed PoIander, Who Couldn't
Stand Much"

Representative Michael Il, Conry of
New York used to be employed in the
coal mines of Pennsylvania. One
morning as he was going to work he
met another Irishman all fixed up In
his Sunday clothes.
What's wrong?" asked Conry.
"Nothin' wrong" answered the other
laborer.
But what's happened"
"Nothin's happened. A mans got to
show some respect for the dead
What dead?"
"Oh, that Polander l worked with
died yesterday"
What did he die OFF"
"A rock fell and hit him."
You don't say! How big rock was
1T"
ooh, three or four tons, maybe.
Them Polanders can't stand much.
purity near got hurt myself yester.
day"
How was that?'
THE rock that killed the Polander
hit me first, but luckily 1t bounced off. u
st Joseph News-Press.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
Rather EHemlnate,

Congressman Peter j, Dooling OF
New York smiled the other evening
when reference at dinner was made
to effeminate ways. He said he was
reminded of the explanation Of Smith,
Some time ago the Smiths attended
reception where they met a man
named Brown. On the way home
while exchanging opinions of the
guests, Brown was mentioned.
Speaking of that man Brown" Wig
orously remarked Smith, "he certainly
has an effeminate way of talking"
"Why, John" was the wondering re-
joinder of Mrs. Smith. chow can you
say that2 He certainly has very loud
and masculine voice!'
Eyes, know he has," explained
Smith, but what | mean is that he
talks all the time" philadelphia Tele
graph.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03

ness Of purpose are characteristic OF
certain pastures, and why alertness
thoroughness, self-confidence and free
dom all proclaim themselves in the
carriage and in the act of walking
Not only does our character influence
our walk, but our walk will influence
our character.
Insomnia is frequently due to some
form Of autointoxication from indiges
ton; "biliousness" is Indigestion, and
so-called rheumatism" is usually due
to overstrained muscles and unelimi
mated waste products In the circula
ton, Our brain action and our diges
ton are governed by our physical hab
its, and IL we are not engaged In
physical labor then we must walk OF
play; some form of muscular activity
is absolutely necessary for the contin
uation OF life.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
Mo Airs About Her.

"Airs!" exclaimed the proud mother,
and shook her head vigorously. my
Elsie, for all her learning, hasn't any
more airs, so to speak, than her poor
old dad"
Then she won't turn up her nose at
her old friends?" queried the visitor
LA, mol"
How refreshing! Most girls who &c
through college nowadays will hardly
look at you after they're graduated"
well, they amt like my Elsie, that's
all / can say" retorted Elsies ma
She's become carnivorous reader, OF
course, and she frequently importunes
music. But stuck up-my Elsie? Not a
bit. She's unanimous to everybody
has most infantile vocabulary. and
what's more, never keeps a caller
waiting while she dresses up. No, she
Just runs down, nom de plume, as she
is"
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
Soma Weather

College boys who put money In their
purses by toll in Kansas wheat fields
will not be discouraged by this story:
II think | smell burning meat" said
the farmer, as he paused for moment
In the harvest field to mop his brow.
"You do" said the raw harvest hand,
YEARLY, as he stopped to get a couple
more sheaves of golden grain. THE
burning meat you smell is my liver
frying. 1t is overdone" And with
that the young fellow spat on grass.
hopper and scalded 1t to death.--At
lanta Constitution.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
RESIN0L STOPS DANDRUFF
AND ITCHING SCALP

II you are troubled with dandruff,
eczema or other scaly, itching scalp
affection, try shampoos with resinol
soap and an occasional treatment with
resinol ointment. You will be sur
prised how quickly the trouble disap-
pears, and the health and beauty Of
the hair improves.
Resinol soap and ointment also heal
skin eruptions, clear away pimples and
blackheads, and form a most valuable
household treatment for sunburn, heat
rash, etc. Sold by all druggists. Pre-
scribed by doctors for 10 ears.--Adv.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
REVELATION WAS TOO MUCH
Picture Of "HolIerlns Jones" at Fa-
Vorite Diversion Caused Him
to Reform.

A well-known illustrator, who makes
interesting western pictures, once
made the acquaintance of noisy but
good-natured cowboy who rejoiced In
the appellation of "Hollering Jones'
In physical appearance this man was
typical OF his kind, and the artist made
several studies of him, both in re-
pose and in his favorite diversion Of
"hollering.' Some of the studies were
sold by the artist to an eastern maya
zine, They showed Jones in his most
violent state.
A year later the artist again visited
the region. He was soon approached
by Mr.. Jones himself, bearing one of
the pictures, which he had torn from
the magazine in which it's was printed.
Pointing to 1t, he asked:
rs that me?"
Well" replied the artist, evasively,
Il got the general idea from you, of
course, but"
"Oh, amt takin' no offense," Jones
ilhuS udSlc w say IL aii iibhtJ ohis
il it's me, say So" .
IF you put 1t to me that way" said
the artist, 81 can only reply that 1t is
a fairly good portrait of you"
The men here on the ranch agree
with you. SO look like that when
holler, do II"
II think you do"
I'm that case" said Hollering Jones,
"all I've got to say is that Hollering
Jones has hollered his last holler
Hereafter, when ! celebrates, does
so with tin horn. In my own opin
ion, no man has right to look like
that.--not round white folks. anyhow
Youths Companion.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
OF a Mixed Breed,

Have You any turkey hash?'
mo"
Chicken hash?'
NO"
Corn beef hashG"
No"
Roast beef hash?"
No"
mo hash at all?"
ooh, yes We've got plenty of hash
but It amt thoroughbred! Puck.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
Whenever You Need a General Tomic
Take Groves

The Old Standard Groves Tasteless
chill Tonic is equally valuable as a
General Tonic because it contains the
we'll known tonic properties of QUININE
and IRON. II acts on the Liver, Drives
out Malaria. Enriches the Blood and
Builds up the Whole System. so cents
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
Worse.

There's one good thing about liv-
ing in these times. We don't have
any highwaymen."
That's true But my iceman Is just
as bad or worse. He's a low-weigh
man"
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
Where 1t Counts.

Aunt Dinah, are you going to
have obey eliminated from the cere,
mony?"
mo, chile; but l sho is gwinter
hab it Eliminated from de matrimony.'
Puck.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
RUB-MY-TlSM

Will cure your rheumatism and all
kinds of aches and pains-Neuralgia
Cramps, Collie, Sprains, Bruises, Cuts,
Old Sores, Burns, etc AntissRtIo
Anodyne. Price 2Sc-Adv.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
No. SlX-SIXTY-SIX

This is prescription prepared es-
pecially for Malaria or Chllls and
Fever. Five or six doses will break
any case, and II taken then as tonic
the fever will not return. 25c.--Adv.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
EASTT

A PRESCRIPTION prepared especially
for seemingly incurable Headaches, Your
druggist sells and GUARANTEES Suits
Eas-it to relieve any Headache in fifteen
to thirty minutes. Money back If you
want it. Contains NO 0PIATE. ADV.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03

your medicine had done for her and I
tried it. Itmade me strong and healthy
and our home is now happy with baby
boy. ! am very glad that took Lydia
=. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and
do all can to recommend it. Mrs. A.
B. BoscAMP, 5O4 E. Howard Street.
Creston, Iowa.
Tons of Roots and Herbs
are used annually in the manufacture
Of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, which Is known from ocean to
ocean as the standard remedy for
female ills.
For forty years this famous root and
herb medicine has been prominently
successful in controlling the diseases Of
women. Merit alone could have stood
this test of time.
If you have the slightest doubt
that Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE CompOundwill help you, write
to Lydia e. Pinkham Medicine Co.
(confidentiaD Lynn, Mass, for ad-
vice. Your letter will be opened,
read and answered by a woman.
and held in strict confidence.
1t is believed that the River Nile
contains more kinds of fish than any
other river in the world.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
WOMAN WEAK
and NERVOUS
Finds Health in Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound.
Creston, Iowa. 81 suffered with fe.
male troubles from the time | came into

womanhood until l
had taken Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegeta-
BILE Com pound. I
would have pains If
j overwork e d or
lifted anything
heavy, and l would
be so weak and ner-
vous and in so much
misery that l would
be Frustrated. A
friend told mo what
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
Perfectly Natural.

AS Herbert Cory tells it, he went to
dinner once where Andrew Carnegie
was guest.
After the eating was over and the
speechmaking had started" said
Corey, "Mr Carnegie reached in his
pocket for something and pulled out
a handful of small change. A dime got
away from him and fell on the floor,
and at the first chance Mr.. Carnegie
got down under the table and looked
for it,
did he find it," asked one of the
audience to whom Corey was narrat-
ing the incident.
did he find IT." echoed Corey. "He
found is saturday Evening
Post
If the play is frost the audience
soon melts away.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
How To Give ouinine To Children

FEBRILINE is the trademark name given to an
improved Quinine. It Tasteless Syrup pleas
ant TO take and does not disturb the stomach
Children take it and never know it Is Quinine
Also especially adapted TO adults who cannot
take ordinary Quinine. Does not nanseate nor
cause nervousness nor ringing in the head, Try
Il the next time you need Quinne for any pur.
pose. Ask for 2-ounce original package. The
name PEBRILINE is blown in bottle. as cents
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03

Every new invention is expected to
revolutionize things--but does 1t?
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
Cure. Old Sores, Other Remedies Won't Cure

The worst cases, no matter ofhow long standing,
are cured by the wonderful. old reliable DR..
Porter's Antiseptic Healing OIL. It relieves
Pain and Heals at the same time. 25c. Soc. 800.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03

Even the baby in the cradle finds
this a rocky world.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03

To believe that task is impossible
is to make II so.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03

The coming man is seldom noticed
until he arrives.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
QUESTIONS OF FOOD.

Whatever supplies nourishment to
organic bodies-anything that sus-
tains. nourishes and augments life;
anything that will supply the mate
rial required to repair the waste ac'
companying the vital processes-is
food
Beginning with pins, needles and
buttons, everything we as infants can
lay hands on that is not too large, and
in the emergency OF having nothing
else available, even our own fingers
and toes, are showed into our mouths
and a strenuous effort made to swal-
low them under the promptings of an
instinct we know as appetite.
Appetite has its origin in body
needs, and inasmuch as the body Is
continuously consuming energy appe-
tite manifests two strong characters.
tics periodic recurrence and organic
necessity.
The average individual attributes
far too much Importance to the ques
ton of diet Hence we have the
countless fads-vegetarianism, red
meat, white meat, fruit and nut diet,
buttermilk drinking, no breakfast, one
meal day or six meals a day.
Experts divide foodstuffs into six
groups: Water, carbohydrates. pro-
teins, fats. refuse and ash. The two
divisions of refuse" and ash" are
persistently and exasperatingly ig'
nored as having little IL any meaning
and are not considered of any signifi'
canoe or importance by most food lex.
perts" The refuse" division consists
OF the bones of meat and fish, shells
of shellfish, skin Of potatoes, apples
pears and peaches, the bran of wheat
and of other cereals Not only are
these two divisions ignored. but stupid
chemists and Psychologists are not
wanting who assert that I'VE are pro
foundly ignorant as to the actual pro
cesses Of digestion, therefore we
should not give much consideration to
mineral contents" etc.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
RInht Name for Their
She Wouldn't SeueaI,

He--If | squeeze you, will you
squeai?
She-What do you think l ans
talking doll?
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03
Not LARGE

Not Large.
Maude-Fred seems to be wander
ing In his mind.
Betty-Then he can't stray far.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03

Pride makes some people ridiculous
and prevents others from becoming so
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03


Acting on this authority, some al
legged experts" emphatically state
this "insoluble refuse" is either un-
necessary or even injurious, forgetting
that there is class Of "insoluble sub
stance" demonstrating property Of
matter well known to science and now
generally and very profltably used In
the manufacturing industries under
the name catalysis.
A catalyst Is thing which may lie
in vessel seemingly inert and yet by
its mere presence dictate what shall
or shall not take place therein. A
small quantity OF catalyst will bring
about the Transformation of enormous
ly large quantities of substance which
lie in its presence, and at the end Of
the reactions the catalyst will have
the same physical and chemical
properties as 1t had In the beginning
OF the action. A mere trace of a for.
other insoluble body soluble. There is
a newer, a deeper knowledge that
must be reckoned with, knowledge
making It very clear that there is
nothing insignificant in this universe
and that quantity alone does not gov.
ern the importance Of anything In the
physical economy,
All the engines (digestives) are
catalyzers. Pepsin, yeast, diastase,
rennet, trypsin, ptyalin, zymase,
amylopepsin and undoubtedly others
we do not yet know exert profound
influence on living things about us.
Many Of these ferments are found in
grains and in saliva and the other di.
gestive juices and In every cell of our
bodies. AS many as dozen have
been found in the liver cell. Ferments
are of profound Importance and yet
we calmly kill them with harmless"
preservatives and by mechanical
means in preparing the now popular
devitalized "blondined" foods.
Anemic, nervous, muscle twitching
men and women are suffering from
starvation-and often a starvation In
the midst of plenty solely because
they do not know how to pick food
values.
A handful of fertile earth contains
sixteen or more elements and among
these, for instance, will be phosphorus
in the proportion of one in 1000; IL 1t
is not there then starvation, poverty
and death are in that SOIL Our blood,
gastric juice, saliva, bile and other
vital fluids are composed of mineral
salts in solution. A drop of the blood
contains many millions of corpuscles,
red and white, and some fourteen
chemical elements, all having a def
mite work to do. They are not there
through accident and they can get
there only through the food we con-
sumo. Eliminate any one of these ele-
ments and there will be trouble.
We dare not longer stand aloof from
the progress made in science and
segregate the human race as some
thing apart from the balance OF the
physical universe. Our differentiation
is arbitrary, stupid and unscientific;
we cannot, like the western broncho.
stand hitched" to an idea and pros.
per-we have got to learn to eat In
order that we may live
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03

1t is believed that the River Nile
contains more kinds of fish than any
other river in the world.
Mrs. Grundy. (Tracy City, Tenn.) 1903-1930, 1914-09-03

If the play is a frost the audience
soon melts away.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1914-06-17
Youthful, Wrinkles
Skin Eaiy To Have

You who desire td4reg@ifl a youthful ap-
pearance will do well TO make the az
qaintance of the two simple. but valu-
able prescriptions here given.
10 make an effective wrinkle remover
mix an ounce of powdered saxoite and a
half pinl witch Hazel. Battle the face In
the ution-inmedatcly every wrinkle
is AFFECTED. 1T acts wonderfully on sag
ging facial muscles. also the lotion pos
sessing remarkable astringent and tonic
properties.
To sc: rid Of an aged faded, freckled
or dscoo.ed complexion bug an ounce of
common mercolized wax al any drugstore
and apply nightly as You would cold
cream, orasnE THIS mornings with soap
and water This will slowly absorb the
undesirable surface skin. revealing the
Younger brighter healthier skin under
meath. There's nothing to equal this
treatment as facial rejuvenator.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1914-06-17
FOLEY KIDNEY PILLS
FOR BACkACHE KIDNEYS AND BLADDER
LENTz MAKES SCOOP
IN K. c. MARKET

r. w. Lintz of the F. q. LtItz store
mas returned from a quick buying
trip from Kansas City. Said he:
have Just returned from a quick
trip TO Kansas City and don't be-
lieve in all the trips to market ever
made that | bought merchandise so
desirable and so cheap as I did this
time On Thursday we will announce
special inducements in The Leader
believe if people realize how rea-
sonable the goods are that our store
will be taxed to its capacity for the
next few days. Every concern from
whom ! bought promised to ship the
goods Tuesday and Mr. Cochrell of the
Santa Fe, wired his people at Kansas
'ity 70 have the goods here Thurs
lay morning We will have them
eady for sale Friday morning"
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1914-06-17
ANNA sHAW'S
----'
ODD VIEWS
ON WED[OCK
SUFFRAClST LEADER SAYS
MARRIAGE CEREMONY is
A HUGE JOKE

Philadelphia. Pa, June t7-"The
marriage ceremony has outlived its
usefulness and should he relegated to
oblivion This in nutshell is the
view of Dr. Anna Shaw, president of
the National Woman Suffrage asso-
citation.
why folks are always seeking an
old maids S views of matrimony is
something that | never could under
stand DR.. Shaw said But it seems
to be the case. and, what is more,
some even 90 a step further and ask
me TO marry them. The marriage
service, for one thing. is poll par
rot affair
THE method as used recting the
pledge is ridiculous, to say the least.
There is no solemnity dignity or
character to that kind of marriage.
have officiated al a great many
ceremonies, especially when / had
my own church in the West. and
have never known of divorce
among the parties. i have always
believed in making the ceremony fit
the occasion. In other words, ] have
different service for each marriage.
'As for the word Obey, only had
one girl who wanted to make such a
crazy promise In fact she insisted
on 1t and refused to marry her. NO |
woman obeys her husband. No man |
with common sense asks his wife to |
obey him. Therefore. ] think that II |
is positively wicked to use this word. |
1t is spiritually and morally wrong to |
encourage woman to make |
promise she knows in her heart she |
will not keep The old idea that a
woman should obey her husband was
all very we'll for the patriarch days
Il have been criticised for cutting
out Until death do us part. How
do or any other minister know
whether the couple will be flying TO
the divorce court in a year or two
We can not look into the future
Why. then, should we try to force
TO believe that they will live
happy ever after? To them the say
ing of Till death do MS part is only
4 mockery."
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1914-06-17
T. r. TALKS IN LONDON

London, June 17-Col. Theodore
Roosevelt appeared before the Royal
Geographical society last night to tell
the members and many of the most
conspicuous men in London public
life how he put the "Duvida" river on
the map OF Brazil
The socicty's theater in Burlington
Gardens was packed.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1914-06-17
Hold Your Wheat This Year, MIR. Kansas
Farmer
'IAVf roRllCN SHORTAGES WILL BRING kANsAs ANN OK
INtoMA FARMERS FROM 15c TO 25c MORE
PER eUSHEL FOR WHEAT
If THEY FOR THEIR


Every shrewd Kansas and Oklahoma guy n have
mses ,Ia ' 10 make record profit on his wheat
wheat growing been OIL ng for the local growo r.
1t is advisable shoud m, coll o anvil,
short this year. ''' wheat "e crop Is
inc SHORTAGE ,f ,,,urard. IN .,,. ,,
hna there Is shortage OF 50 million Hungary
shortage OF ~ million bushels million bushels in these
~ 10 just What extent the shortage to
ss'" ana IN other wheat raising
known but it that none have posnocs nf
even 'i "
On the according to the Government reo, r r,n
s the indicated the United will reach aou
o' million bushels lS million bushels years crop
or deterjoraons nm, oven ~
we assume that the and that it will reab rho
800 million mshel mark will offset the short
OF the l52 million Indiana
has this year ~ anu hungary
Now also the natural YEARLY in
crease consnmpon that is figured per cent
million bushels than year that together VIII,
the Argentine Indiana and Hungary deficiency of
oe"en 300 and 10" million bushels made IN from the
nd states saving nothing Of other poorer cop Tros
poets and OF the possibilities that
short OF present brilliant ' '"' '
1t is evident. there no
at least f to 2G5 million bushels thai will have
TO he found elsewhere and know CAPABLE o
producing w " 'e ~
From this he that United states farmers
the ~ ~
Now the farmers particularly those NJ Kansas
the profits the
market through short sales and hedge the
Through the action Secretary the Treasury the farmer
Is now able to finance himself at low
orce MS product on the market until the time 5
Wheat sold three weeks Chicago
Ing TODAY for july delivery decline Of 1sc hnshel This
million = - ' "
Now the principles in marketing their
a and don't rush TO sell hrashd they can
$50 million dollars undoubtedly receive even better
price for their wheat than above
JANUS STATISTICAL BUREAU
10 fremont Boston. Mass
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1914-06-17

boil over a low flame for two hours,
and then strain through fine sieve,
This should he let stand until cold.
and theh the other ingredients added
In using this rouge be careful all
ways to keep the bottle well corked
and to see that it is kept in the dark
ard in a cool place
This dainty strawberry rouge can
best be applied by mopping on with Il
bit OF absorbent cotton