Harrisburg telegraph. [volume] (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, 1914-12-02
Political Reformers as
Sam Hudson Sees Them
BY Col. Sam Hudson

Wes. Guffey as having reached the
| hair oil stage" is ever changeful like
some women's moods, ever inventing,
ever tinkering. never truly and beati-
fically happy unless upsetting existing
conditions. Like taxation and death.
he is an itch which we always have
with us. Ever in the minority himself,
| he has succeeded in changing what is
presumed to be fixed law of nature.
He has made the tail to wag the dog.
AS a hobgobblin he has frightened the
! political talent into granting him al
legged panaceas that he has prescribed,
emulating the free dispensary ply
| sician, and with the powerful aid of
| the mugwump press has induced the
| people to swallow his nostrums. He
can extract sweet music from tin
| pan; he can make four go into five
three times and two over; he can make
a business administration" insult the
| intelligence of a great community and
always expect people to work gra.
tuitously for his elections to jobs of
velvet lining, thus enabling him to
bank his salary at the end of the
| month.
The three paramountal fads of the
reformers are three, and there:
The Civil Service.
The Australian Ballot.
The Uniform Primary
Three Little Sisters
Not one of these three little sisters
| have been approved by the people
themselves; that is to say they have
never been submitted to the referen.
dunn. 1t is within belief that the
people would so reject them. They
have been engrafted upon statute by
| legislative enactment. The first two
are direct importations from foreign
parts, although not coming to us
| through the custom house.
1t is common knowledge that the
| first thingembob was pilfered from
| Great Britain. and which nation stole
| it from the almond-eyed disciple OF
| Confucius. In England it was adopted
| by the nobility and the aristocracy to
entrench their power, and to give liV-
| ings to the younger sons cut off by the
| law of inheritance. Its spokesman in
the American Congress was Gentle
man. George Pendleton, a Democrat
of the golden spoon. The law was only
enacted after a close and bitter strug
| gle and it represents one of the most
colossal fiim-fiams that was ever
played upon the American nation.
Pendleton, speaking for the reformers
of that day, gave the positive assur.
ance upon the floor of the Uniteo
States Senate that the proposed law
was intended to apply only to the
technical branches of the govern
mental service and would affect not
more than seven thousand jobs. Now
1t is a blanket covering almost the
! entire service.
But give a reformer an ell and he
will demand an inch. Give him bite
and he will demand a full course din
ner, including wine. AS the editor of
Lewis c. Cassidy's Sunday Truth l
fought this proposed" new departure
with my youthful ability and was ably
| seconded by the papers Washington
| correspondent, the brilliant Colonel A.
c. Buell.. then the editor of Don Piatt's
Washington Capitol. whose feuilletons
were classics and stand to-day as the
ablest arguments and truthful prog
nostications against and of the system
/ eXtant.
Where Civil Service Fails
Civil service is direct contravent
tion of the biblical injunction that "the
| laborer is worthy of his hire" 1t es-
tablishes the new axiom in politics that
the party hustler shall work for moth
| ing and board himself.
And furthermore, when the nation
changes it's political work clothes the
big fellows. mark you, fix themselves,
the little fellows are kindly permitted
| to go to the deVil' and are referred
| to the shingle on the window sill of
the United States Civil Service Com
mission.
May the good Lord preserve us from
Vodka!
The contention was that the law is
unconstitutional in that if a citizen
appointive office under government
| through an age limit, senility and
| physical infirmity alone preventing,
that it makes a class distinction and
| that If it apply to one appointive office
it should apply to all, including cabi-
afffs or,1 sNPI ,fe,
1t is a noteworthy fact that the
Supreme Court has never been asked
to pass upon the conStitutionality of
| this gigantic fiim-flam. We are in
doubt whether it is sound law or not
One of these days there will como
along an American Congress with just
| enough sand in its craw" to starve
the system to death and in that is our
Great White Hope.
AS to the Ballot
The Australian ballot system, the
second fiamboyant fiim-fiam for the
American people, was pilfered, of
| course, from Australia, the home of
many fads in politics, and when it was
imported was characterized by Joe
Nobre, picturesque unit in city poll
tics as the Botany Bay" system, Aus
tralia having been the dumping ground
for England's cut-throats and crimi-
1t first found a congenial home in
this land of the alleged free in the
sovereign state, of Massachusetts,,
breeder and hothouse of many po-
litical new departures" and fads. An
immediate beating of tin pans was set
up for the engraftment of this new or
old discovery upon our political sys-
tenn, and the noisy minority was again
successful in frightening the politicians
of the various states into an acqui-
escence.
At the first election held in Massa-
chusetts under the new dispensation it
was discovered that 100000 defective
| ballots had been cast and thrown out.
A voting system that requires a schooi
| house or a tutor is at once a nuisance
and a menace. That first election cost
| the reform element most dear, as Ben
Butler their arch enemy, swept the
| state-and through the medium of the
defective ballots.
The people and the political fra
| ternity of Pennsylvania did not en-
brace with hospitable arms this stolen
| device of the Yankees. They had to
be educated up to it. 1t mouldered
and mildewed in the Legislature We
then possessed a perfectly good and
simplified system. popularly known as
the short" or the west pocket" sys-
tenn The Dolftical parties Drovided