davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1914-04-26
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gets to work before midnight, and It Il
daylight at about at this season.
And you will sit up In your room ,"
was asked.
Yours truly"
And in mine" said Mr.. Haines.
Miss Forbes opened her mouth to say
something. but caught herself.
Where do you think he will get IMP
asked Mr.. Haines.
AT one of the bedroom windows"
And shall we shoot to kill?'
You bet!"
The girl didn't name the location she
would take. but she had 1t planned out.
Firstly. she didn't believe that any burg
lar would show up that night. or for
many another night. either. Secondly. II
he did come It would be by the cellar
doors. It was the vulnerable point. and
he would take no risks in trying expert
mcnts. And she laughed to herself over
the sort of watch the two men would
keep. They would sit down in rocking
chairs. feet up. and pipes a-going. and
within half an hour they would be sound
asleep to last till morning.
The girl was right in the main. but she
missed It in the case OF Mr.. Haines. Not
that he did not fall asleep within the
allotted half hour. but that he pitched to
the floor about midnight and was very
The Washington herald., 1914-04-26
Q .
O

sorts with that girl on the veranda.
She had egged him on to all this. A fine
show he had made of it-running for
mayor only to be a joke, to have his
name vilified in the papers, his motives
impugned, and never so much as a fight
ing chance of being elected, anyway. Why
hadn't he gone on playing golf and mo-
toring and spending his days in like
pleasant diversons instead of letting
a pretty face and a soft little voice get
him into anything like this.
Just outside the gate he ran into a
crowd Of the boys coming back from the
Country Club golf course.
Here's the new mayer" some one
cried, and they swarmed about him,
exuberantly facetious.
Billy managed to break away from
them not without difficulty.
"oh. shut up: You chaps make me
fairly sick!'' he said as he went gloomily
homeward.
1t was 8 o'clock the next afternoon
when Billy Capen, rather whitefaced
rushed up to the veranda where Marion
Capen sat fussing with tea things
Say, what am 1 going to dor, he
groaned helplessly.
About what?' she asked
I've been hanging around headquart-
ers." he said. 1T seems that I'm go.ns
The Washington herald., 1914-04-26
A SHOT I'M THE DARK

Seven times in one year It had been
robbed. It wasn't the same ropber every
time, as the sheriff decided. but seven
different bad men with a longing for furs
and silverware, and even grandfather
clocks 1t had been plundered when the
son was at home. and when he remained
in the city over night. 1t had been plum
dered when guests were there, and when
the family was alone.
The only arrest that had been made for
al these robberies was that OF a farm
er's hired man who brought the milk at
4 o'clock in the morning. The cook. look
ing out OF her bedroom window at that
hour one morning. saw him gazing low
ingly at the pump. The sheriff declared
it an important clew. but the jury failed
to convict. They argued that It was the
most natural thing in the world that a
milkman should gaze at
OF course Mr.. Forbes had bought
gun. and Of course he had bought another
for his sister. They practiced until they
could hit a barn door a rod away. Each
one of the young men that came down
brought a weapon, and each one was
keyed up to shoot a robber.
Two bear traps were set under win
dows and wires and alarm bells were to
give due notice. The burglar got in Just
the same. A burglar alarm had been
The Washington herald., 1914-04-26
By Harry Preston

as you choose to call twill you do lust
as 1 say?'
why, Of course
Then you won't throw Mike Touhsy
out as head OF the street department.
You know Mike was our gardener here
once. I'm very fond of Mike"
Billy Capen stared at her silently for .
good minute.
Why. Mikes the biggest CRATER of the
whole ring. It's his scalp the reform
crowd is particularly after. That's one
thing can't do. I'll have to throw him
out whatever you say
Even II won't marry you il you do?''
Even II you won't marry me II you
do" he repeated.
She put out the lamp under the kettle.
She jumped from her chair.
And just for that l will marry you.
Billy" she cried. Il was afraid-afraid
II really was as You said: that YOU didn't
care anything about the reform crowd or
about being mayor. l vas afraid you
were doing it just to make good with
me"
Well, that's all I'm doing it for" he
maintained stoutly.
'Oh, indeed" said she. But she was
smiling proudly as she slipped into his
outstretched arms
The Washington herald., 1914-04-26
90
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to be elected beyond the shadow of a
doubt"
"Oh, Billyr' she cried radiantly.
Its awful" he groaned. ''What'u
dor
She stared at him.
81 believe IL I really am elected, I'll go
right down and resign" said he. That
would be better than sneaking of or
jumping into the river or anything like
that
BILLY Capen." she cried. 'Td like to
shake your
II wish you would" he said lugu-
briously. TN make a sweet little mayor.
won't 1? Well, the downfall Of this
beautiful burg be upon your head. You
put me up to It. You induced me to run
when the reform crowd put my name up.
Now. see what you've done
fits perfectly splendid" she cried.
why Billy, you're the right man for
the right place. They've needed you for
ever SO long. I know you've got it in
you
II wish I thought that way" said he
Didn't you want TO be elected?"
MOI"
She stared at him.
'"Then-then what on earth did you run
for?"
We'll, I thought there wasn't the least
The Washington herald., 1914-04-26

suggested over and over, and finally one
was installed. The day 1t was tested
Jack Haines appeared for a three days
visit
II don't know about It keeping them
out" he replied in doubtful tones.
But IL you open a door or raise a win
dow 1t is bound to ring"
He took a trip around the house and re-
turned to the veranda.
There's an outside cellar door that is
not wired at ALL" he said.
How careless of Guy not to see to
that exclaimed the sister.
The windows of three bedrooms open
on balconies, and when the sashes are
raised for air they must be cut out OF
the circuit. Porch-climbers can swarm
up and enter any of the rooms"
That's Guy again.
When the brother came home in the
evening and heard Of the derelictions. he
replied:
"I was talking with a detective today"
"Yes?"
He said. and we all know II to be
true. that II a burglar wants to get into
a house he's going to find a way to do It.
no matter how secure you think 1t is"
'weIl7''
He advised me to sit up for few
nights and watch and shoot. No burglar
The Washington herald., 1914-04-26

He hadn't noticed any cat about but
surely there could not be another human
being in the room.
Creep! Creep. Creep!
He had almost reached the door lead
ing into the kitchen when he heard a
movement and Strengthened up 10 his
knees. Then came a fash OF fire in his
face. followed by cries of Guy! Guy
and the switching on OF electric lights.
What the devil is the row. demanded
the brother as he came tumblinC down
stairs with his pistol in one hand and
his pipe in the other.
His sister was crouched against the
front doors and wringing her hands, and
she gasped out in answer:
Il have shot the burgiarr'
Where is he?''
''There-there-in the dining-room"'
Bully for you. I'll have a look at him
You go up and pound on Jacks door
He'll feel mighty fat when he hears Of
this"
There was the burglar. lying on his
face. and there was a trickle OF blood on
the parauet floor. He drew up one leg
as the other man looked down on him
and said:
Here is where burglary ceases to be
funny. en-
The Washington herald., 1914-04-26
Copyright, ls1Ll

And you'd let a little thing like that
trouble you?"
Marion orion looked up from the out
spread paper on her knees and raised
her pretty brows at the big. troubled
young man who paced I'D and down the
veranda.
Little thing?" echoed Billy Capen.
Little thing? Here's an old and hon
ored name dragged through the mire, one
perfectly good reputation torn to shreds,
honest motives twisted and warped"
Didn't you expect it?" she asked.
We'll. not anything so bad as this" he
confessed. It's a nice mess you've got
me into, isn't it,
The girl smiled patiently.
''Oh, Billy, you're such a gutter" she
sighed. THE least little thing and you're
ready to lie down"
He advanced upon her with an accus-
ing finger shaken before him.
Il never wanted to run for mayor,
anyway" said he. You egged me on
to it"
Il wanted you to do something more
worth while than amuse yourself" said
The Washington herald., 1914-04-26
BY Clara lmez Deacon

why. It's Mr.. Haines-' shrieked Miss
Francis as she came running in
'Darned II IT isn't
Mr.. Haines opened his eyes and family
remarked that everything could be e1-
planned. and then tainted away and did
not come to until the doctor was prob
ing for the bullet. When the hustle and
hurry were over, the girl told her story.
'I thought heard the burglar at that
cellar door. Then was sure I heard him
creeping up tho cellar stairs and across
the kitchen floor. I wanted to scream
and run away. but dared not move.
Then the pistol went OF by accident.
didn't even know that ii was pointed at
him. He must have thought he heard
something to bring him down to investi-
gate"
Put what in the Old Harry were you
doing down here IN the dark and aIone"'
was demanded.
Il was waiting for the burglar
Well. he came along, and now vou
are in for job Of nursing II you don't
pull him through in good shape and then
marry him hope he'll sue you for q
million dollars damages
No lawsuit begun Vet.
No engagement announced vet
But II Is hound to happen-bound to.
The Washington herald., 1914-04-26

As soon as we placed the order for
the stationery, Perky got to work with
a copy of who's Who" and paved it
over until he found half a dozen names
of naturalist guys. He picked out one
with a good lot of A-B-C business
tagged to his name and wrote him a
scorcher of letter. He said he under
stood that the learned professor was
absolutely indifferent to the joy of living
Of snails and that it was reported that
the learned prof didn't care hang how
many feathers the natives of Timbuctoo
pinned on the helpless univalves, or
whatever they are. The prof. came
right back with hot denial. He said
that if Timbucks pinned feathers on
snails II was an awful shame and he
hated it worse than sin. So Perky went
to see him, and before he left the old
gent he had him down as the Hon. Pres.
of the S. P. P. F. S.
So that was easy, and the rest was
easier. Each of those way-up science
sharps has some moneybag that wor-
ships him and is willing to put up the
dough to be in with him, and Perky got
wise to Prof Hicks cashy admirer.
Orlando B. Wadd couldn't sleep until
he gave Perky five hundred to start the
crusade and have his name down as
First Vice Pres. and Life Member, and
just for that Perky let him name the list
of Lady Patronesses, and you bet your
life Mrs. De Clusters name was the
top of the list And fall? Say, girls,
those society queens are the easiest fall
ers when it comes to getting their names
in the papers that you ever sawl Give
any one of them a chance to be two
columned on the society page and she'll
throw fits until her pet photographer
has taken a full length showing her in
the celebrated Louis XIV room in the
celebrated De Custer pearls affectionate-
ly hugging a snail to death. Believe
me, it pays to advertise
Honest, when we got the prospectuses
of the Snail Society in the mail-and
o. B. Wadd paid the freight. you bet
we thought we were on Easy Street. For
a week the memberships came in like
farm hands at meal time and then-they
Perky totaled up the ledger
and looked blue.
Punk" he says. I'm disappointed.
It's frost. Only four hundred mem
bers at ten dollars throw. How's any
honest graft coming out of that?"
"Oh, cheer upr says. You look
as blue as a robins egg. What did you
That's four thousand dollars,
and Wadfs FIVE hundred makes forty
FIVE. A thousand off for swell station
cry and plain postage leaves us thirty
i've hundred to the good, don't it?"
The Washington herald., 1914-04-26
Copyright, lsls.)

Copyright, lsl4D
lack Haines was one Of the half dozen
young men who admired Guy Forbes
sister and belonged to the same club as
the brother.
One after another, these young men
had been invited down to ''Hazelhurst,"
which was the country home OF the wild
ow Forbes.
There were games on the lawn-motor-
ing over the highways-flshing without
getting a bite, and various other diver
sions. And there was Miss Francis, hand
some. chatty. witty. and treating all
alike.
Guy Forbes did not invite his chums
down with any thought that at least one
Of them might fall in love with his sis
ter. He was twenty-five years old and
a bachelor Of that age, not being in love,
cannot see why any one else should be.
He gave the fellows a good time, as far
as he was able. whether they stayed .
day or & week. and let IT go at that.
The mother was not much more inquisi-
tive. The most she had to say was one
day when she observed:
Guys friends from the city seem to be
a nice class of Young men,
Very nice" was the reply. and no
more was said on the subject.
There was a hoodoo at 'Hazlehurst."
The Washington herald., 1914-04-26
Suzanne Hits the High Places

Say! Our little old entertainment was
a whooping success. The big ballroom
of the Spazazza Hotel would not hold
the crowd that came to help the poor
snails. 1t was great. OF course, we
had some expenses-hall hire, and pro-
gram printing and each lady patroness
had her pet tenor we had to hire to
donate his services to the charity at his
usual rate. But it was good gravy. We
got the coin, and the papers next morn
ing gave Mrs. De Custer plenty of free
advertising. sold souvenir programs.
Ii was while Mrs. De Custer and her
gang of exclusives were sloshing around
giving the common people joy by freez-
ing them dead that she gave me the cold
eye, like | remarked. All said was,
Gee, amt it hot" and she tried to
cool me with one of those frost-bit
glances. But, say, you can't cool me
that easy when I've got warm redtop
piece.
Jaw. can the queen business, sister," l
says. Il amt a noovo reech, I'm an
employee"
She hooked at me a half a moment
to &c i ~ wilt, and then she laughed.
Really" she says, scornful enough.
'.Surest thing you know" / says. I'm
inst plain hired help. I'm little Suzanne,
the office JOY. I've often seen you in the
newspapers, but you don't do the pic
lures justice You look more human"
"Rcally!" she says, just as if some
guy on the street had offered her hot
frankfurter with sauerkraut from its
shiny back.
Honest, you do l says, although
you don't mean to. I've had my bright
eyes on you half an hour. You and me
might be twins"
That Jared her. She gasped.
Dear lady" says, taking the words
out of a book l read, this Help-the-
Snail game is going to be hzzle TN
less We can drag in lot more money
than we're dragging even now. Perky
& Partner can't give their valuable time
to the downtrodden snail for small
money. and it's up to you to help
81 am doing much by being here" she
says. "If l am to be insulted like this
I'm sorry l ever took part in the sf-
fairs of the society"
"All right about what you're doing"
I says, but we need the mon. Now,
want you to get a good big donation
out of Henry J. Scadsby and another
put of George Oliver Pureston, and
no matter, III hand you the list later
on. You've got the pull. Get after
.hem!"
"She gave me the same sort Of scorn-
ful ha-ha that the princess gives in
Chapter XII, bottom of the page, when
he villain grabs her by the arm.
The Washington herald., 1914-04-26

l. "Thirty-fve hundred" he says, scorn-
full. Whats thirty-fve hundred? I'm
disappointed. Only four hundred men,
bers. Hicks ought to have been good
for hundred-noble old gray haired
scientist and all that stuff. Wadd ought
to have been good for two hundred
retired captain of industry and that sort
of rot. Mrs. De Custer and her troupe
of trained Society Danes ought to have
been good for a thousand members"
"And the snails," says.
yes, and the snails," says Perky.
Somebody ought to have fallen for the
snails. Two or three people in this
broad country ought to have Joined on
Account of the snails. when that's the
Sbject of the society Think of the
poor snails of Timbuctoo, going around
with ostrich feathers pinned to their
tails"
ITO their backs" l says. Holes
drilled through their shells and pins
stuck through to hold the feathers. It's
a shame Ii would be if it was so. But
keep stiff upper lip. The thiEty-five
hundred dollars will pay my wages and
part OF your salary as secretary and
part of Algy's as assistant secretary, end
we've got to get more. You get 10
work and write an imprisoned appeal
on behalf of the poor snails, and"
"And what" says Perky.
I'm going to Sherlock Holmes this
sucker list Mrs. De Custer sent us to
mail the appeals to-" says l. when l
think over some of the names l sent
appeals to I'm not so sure but it is a
frst-rate list"
That's what we want, amt it," says
Perky.
Back upl" says. What we want is
a second-rate list These frst-rate So
cial stars have their beans pulled so
often they are loose in the points. They
are pull-shy, Perky. What we want is
the second-rate sucker list. And a
Grand Patronessed Benefit at the
Spazazza Hotel-tickets Five Dollars
to aid in the work for the pinned snail"
Say. was | little Miss Good Guesser?
| guess yes! Mrs. De Custer had hand
ed out the Al Strictly Blue list to US.
but little redtop got after her and pulled
down the Pale Blue Sucker List Nos.
? to Il. 1t was peach of list 1t
had all the wouldbe social starters from
Mrs. Hochenwirtz, the brewery wife, to
Mrs Piggles, who runs the boarding
house on Fifty-eighth street. She's the
lady that elbows her way under the
awning at the swell weddings and rub
berneckS so far at the bride as she
passes that the trousseau rubs the
nose. Her nose is worn
blunt on the end from the contact of
many bridal wells.
The Washington herald., 1914-04-26

q AY, honestI You wouldn't believe
~ it. but I've banged right into high
society. The Mrs. De Custer. with the
accent on "the," has stood right up in
front of me and given me the icy eye
just as if l was a real social climber
with million plunks trying to bust
into the real gang. If l had been one
of the Hopeful Climber Hook and Lad
der Company ladies l would have shiv-
cred delightfully."-, but being just a red
headed typist l looked her full in the
eye and said, Jaw, can the queen bust
ness! amt a noovo reech. I'm an
employe." And she treated me decent
after that
Honest, If would make your eyes stick
out so far you could use them to drape
wreaths on to see how the second-stoyy
ladies doll up in their best duds and
shinney up the porch pillars when they
think they've a chance to stick a head
into a De Custer window and smell the
real society geraniums. All one of the
real gang has to do it to turn in FIRE
alarm and every would-be in New York
hops on to the ladder truck and comes
lickety split to the conhagration.
1t was this way. Perk and Algy and
me started the Society for the Proven
ton of Pinning Feathers on Snails with
swell letter paper showing the seal of
the society, which is an angel of mercy
pushing back a rough guy who wants
to pin an ostrich feather on a fair but
weeping snail. | handed Perky the sta
tionery dope, because l knew the swell
guys fall for the Tiffany stuff quicker
than for anything else. A king couldn't
get a gang Of swells together if he had
the invites printed AT the corner job
press, but any little mutt has chance
if the please-come is engraved all over
a piece of cardboard thick enough to
build a dance floor with. Give one of
those engraved things a top-dressing OF
tissue paper and stick it in about six
different envelopes and it has chance
to get by Mrs. De Clusters private sec
retary's private secretary.
The Washington herald., 1914-04-26
5uAAlHe&- By Ellis farkefBn1er

into Easy Street. See? And I've
studied this society game. It's business,
with business good will cut out. It's a
game of flint bueking flint. Well, Pm
a little flinty heart myself. Listenl l
invented the feather-pinned snail. There
amt no such animal"
But, my dear girl" she says, turning
to me quickly.
Fine" says. Were going to
love each other, you and me. We're
twins, because we hate to be guyed. We
hate to be guyed because we're human.
Suppose the Daily Josher got wise to
The Washington herald., 1914-04-26

the fact that Mrs. De Custer headed the
movement to Prevent the Pinning of
Feathers on Snails when nobody ever
thought of pinning feathers on snails.
Some laugh-what? Now, if we can
get good donation from Scadsby and
Purseton and"
my dear girl" she says, giving ne
her hand, "Pm so glad you called my
attention to this need of funds. I'm
sure / can be of great assistance in Sc
curing a most liberal endowment"
Say! And some folks think the only
use Of laugh is to exercise the faoei
The Washington herald., 1914-04-26

"Ha hal" she says, "and with these
words" as the book says, "she turned
away"
Zone minute" l says. Maybe you
think I'm joking. but take another look
at my hair and guess again. said you
were enough like me to be my twin. I
said you were human. Got the answer"
l saw she didn't have the answer. Not
on the tip of her tongue, anyway, so I
gave it to her.
I'm in love over, the gills with
Perky" l says, land I'd die for him, but
l won't. I'm going to help him to climb
Milford chronicle., 1914-03-20

Girl kidnapped" and Now Married
The Elkton. Md, dispatch that Jo
seph Granese and Jennie Picard. OF
NorristOwn, Pa, had been married
marks the climax of events following
the abduction OF the girl in Norris.
town on Feb. Z.
Either Joseph Granese or his cousin
were believed to be responsible, but
nothing could be proved. 1t is said
that the marriage Of the couple was
opposed by the girls father.
Jennie Picard. seventeen years Old.
was kidnapped after her young broth.
er was frightened away from her side
on road near Norristown.
When the boy told his father that
he recognized the wagon as belonging
to Granese, the father sought out the
man, who denied any knowledge Of
the whereabouts of the girl.
Picard stabbed him in the groin and
fed. He was captured by his victims
father, who pursued him with a shot.
gun. Picard later was liberated on
bail.
Milford chronicle., 1914-03-20

Vanderbilt Riches to Wife and Chile
The will Of George W. Vanderbilt
as filed for probate in New York city
leaves his entire estate. estimated a
S20,000,00O, TO his widow and onl,
daughter, Cornelia.
Minor bequests providing annuitie!
aggregating $500 a year are made IL
favor OF certain relatives. Theer arr
no public requests.
Biltmore. Mr.. Vanderbilt's world IA
nous estate in North Carolina, is left
to his daughter. Cornelia, who is now
twelve years old. She also receives S..
100000 in cash and is made residuary
legatee.
Mrs. Vanderbilt, the widow, receives
the estate at Bar Harbor, Me-: the
Vanderbilt home I'm Washington, $3.50.
O00 in cash, a life interest in a trust
fund of 100000, which she may dis
pose OF at her death as she sees it.
and patr OF the real estate in North
Carolina, known as Pisgah Forest, con.
tanning about 10000 acres. together
with the contracts for the sale Of tim.
Der therefrom, estimated to produce
about $4,000 a year.
Milford chronicle., 1914-03-20
THORNTON
A Kentucky Jack,

VIII stand for spring season 1914, commencing
mareh -1th, at our farm in Broadkiln Hundred
one-haif mile from Waple's Mill on road leading
20 Draw bridge
lie Is Black Jack & hands high and will weigh
@V pounds and is one Of the finest in the county.
PEDIGREE Thornton" was sired bv Tom
heene he by Rube Ellington he By CLARK !
Mammoth; he By Knights Mammoth Ne IN
Maringo Mammoth he By Imported Mammoth
Ihornton's first dam was Kate: second dam
Belle Prince third dam by gray Eagle; fourth
dam by Liberty he By SCOTS. Scots" was inn
ported from the Catalonian Provinces Of Spain.
second dam on sires side. Tom Keene's dam .
was by Col Epson he by Epsom's Montgomery .
son. 'f
Third dam was by MoRul. he by Compromise
ne by nppecanoe; he by Black Hawk he by I'm
ported Warrior.
Thornton bred az the Kentucky IarL
arm, Junction City. Kentucky Joe b. WRIGHT
Proprietor i'h"''
TERMS To insure. So Owner will be bsld
responsible FOR the service should the mare be dis
Poseu OF before the foal is born. Call on or ad-
dress CHARLES +. JONES DAVID W. lows
lar-Lo-l-t Milton. Delaware.