The Penn's Grove record., 1914-02-27
The vIcIssitudes Of Local journalism


vnuU Uut AAut16UuT&
paper is equal Of yours III any particular.
The best | can say for it is that it's no
worse than it was ten years ago. It
hasn't any three-story type, and you
could read it for years without discover
ing who was being divorced in San Fran
cisco or murdered in Chicago. People
who depend on it don't know vet that
war has been declared in the Balkans, and
they won't hear any more politics until
1916. All week long | think as little
about the paper as all this. But somehow,
when Thursday evening comes around,
rain or shine, | step over to the post-ofice
and if my paper isn't there I wait a few
minutes growing more impatient all the
time and ] drift over to the door OF the
"Homeburg Weekly Democrat Office
and join the silent throng.
Like as not I'll find twenty people
there. We don't expect any wild news.
There will probably not be anything in
the Democrat when it comes out, but
we want to make sure oil it. We don't
want to go home without the paper.
We've read it for twenty years, and
every week we open it up and poke
through its Intervals after a sensation
that will make Homeburg on its ear and
split the Methodist church from steeple
to pipe organ. We're as patient as fish
ers in the Seine, and the fact that the
world has never rocked when the "Dsm-
ocrat' did come out doesn't encourage Us
any.
We want our paper, and SO we stand
there and grumble. Now and then n
OF us stumps up the narrow hallway to
the second story where the "Democrat''
makes its lair, aud looks on with an
abused air while two young ladies COM
positors claw around the bottom of the
boxes for enough type to set the last
items. and the foreman stuffs the forms
OF the last two pages with old boiler
plate, medicine ads and anything that
will fill. There isn't any reason for the
democrats" being late any more than
there is for the branch accommodation
train, which got almost to town on time
once and stood beyond the crossing for
twenty minutes because her conductor
forgot just when she was due and didn't
want to run i'll too SOON. The ssDemo-
crat" is just naturally late. It's part OF
it's function is to be late. Makes it more
eagerly sought after. We talk with the
foreman and make ~nuisances of ourselves
generally, end presently old man Ayers.
who runs the paper, waddles in with
another item to be set. The compositors
set down their sticks with ajerk and say,
/" Oh, my landI' and the foreman goes
and puts the item on the case witt, that
air OF patient resignation which is a little
more irritating than a swift kick; and
then Henry Snyder, if he's hanging
around, which he usually is, speaks up:
For Goodness sakes, Ayers, let that
item go and get to press" he says.
"Give it to me and I'll read il aloud
downstairs. Your whole subscription
lists down there waiting.
But we have TO wait Just the same I'M
til the item is set up. Then tile foreman
locks up the forms and bangs them OH
the face with his big wooden plane and
he and the old man lug them out into
the pressroom while we all hold our
breath-sometimes the form explodes ON
the way and then we don't get) tile
Democrat for three days.
Pretty soon we hear the rattle-te-babg-
te-clank-te-clicketty-clang of the old press
and in five minutes more Editor Ayers
comes out with an armful of folded
papers all fragant with fresh blank ink.
"She's out, boys" he says. Then we
grab copies and hurry to spread the
news of the birth OF another Democrat .
We open the sheets and look carefully
down the page where old man Ayers gen.
orally conceals his local news. For a
minute or TWO there is silence. Then
somebody Grams his paper into his pocket
"Hump, nothing in it," he says, and
starts home.
He's right too. Outside of the fact
that it has another week of old man
Ayers's laborious and worried life in it.
it ls mighty bare. There isn't enough
news iii it to cause a thrill in a sewing
circle. But after supper at home, when
we look it over more carefully and the
first hot flush of anticipation has worn
off, we do find a lot of information. We
find that Miss Ollie M;ngle has gone to
PaynesviIle for a two days visit (aha.
that Paynesville young mans folks are
going to look her over), and that Mrs.
Ackley is visiting her daughter in Ogal
lala, Neb. UNLESS Ackley Strengthens
up, we don't expect her back.) Wimble
Horn is erecting a new porch and paint
ing his house. He must have beaten
the bucket shop for once. We also find
that Judson Bain's peaches are ripe and
of the best quality, which fact he has
just proven to the editors entire salts
faction. Aud that old Mrs. Gastit is
feeling very poorly, and Pete Parson,
while working on his automobile the
other night, contributed a forefinger to
the cause Of gasoline by poking around
in the cogs while the engine was running.
All Of this is news and interesting to
us; SO is the fact that Miss Ri Hawkes. is
not teaching in the Snyder district school
week, because of a sore toe. While
this item does not jar the country quite
SO extensively as il would if Miss Hawkes.
belonged to u of your leading New
York families, and was employing an
eleven-thousand dollar physician to treat
her for govt, it is just as important to
Miss Hawkes.. And there you have the
great keynote OF our Homeburg journal