Imperial Valley press., 1914-02-04
.Standish's Chat
From the Capital

written for the United Press)
Washington, Feb, Aground
congress they call him the "bullet
cushion"
His right name is SAINT Kirkpatrick
and he is representative from the
sixth Iowa district which used to be
solidly Republican. But that has
nothing to do with the strange ap-
pelation.
He received that title after coun-
terfeiters, moonshiners and other
bad" men had pumped 200 pieces
of lead into him in his % years ex-
perience with the United States in
ternal revenue service. In addition to
the couple of hundred lead pellets
scattered through his anatomy Repre-
sentative Kirkpatrick can boast OF
one glass eye, one hole in the leg,
acauittals on every charge against
him from petit larceny to murder, to
say nothing of reputation for will
lingness to fight anything from the
Old Nick himself to den of wild
cats.
The "bullet cushion" is close to 70
years old now, but the old fighting
spirit is still with him, and he still
boasts that he can "shave" mans
moustache at so yards with .32
calibre raZer. 1853
Strange to relate, kirkpatrick went
through the civil war without a
wound. Twenty-seven of the shot
that he carries as souvenir of his
earlier labors for Uncle Sam came
from a moonshine hunt in South Car
olina. Pursuing one of these southern
desperadoes, Kirkpatrick was turned
upon and the contents of an old muz-
zle loading shot gun was discharged
in his face. That's how SAINT lost
his eyesight and fractured his jaw.
And that's why, too, there sleeps to-
day in a mountain grave, one un-
known moonshiner. #sa r .4.'
A new baby, solid silver spoon
and moments carelessness all but
disrupted the division of pubTica-
tions of the department of agricul-
ture few days ago.
The baby is daughter of Stanley
Searles, one Of the editors of the d-
vision, and the spoon was subscribed
for by the clerks in his office. At the
last moment before the spoon was
presented to the proud father one
of the clerks took it from it's box
to show to friend and then failed
to return it, simply laying it in the
drawer. 49," vs.,
AS Searles started to leave he was
surrounded by his associates and one
of them, with few laudatory words,
presented him with small box dain-
| tily tied with ribbon. A hasty glance
showed that there was nothing but
tissue paper inside and his ire was
aroused. pu e,'.-1-
Speech! SpeechH cried the crowd
who mistook his flush for embarras-
ment.
at would not do for you to hear
what l want to say" said the angered
man as he rushed for the door.
Half an hour later the spoon was
discovered in the drawer where the
box had been and messenger bear
ing the gift and profuse apologies
was hurried to the Searles home. The
next day Searles made a speech. 'i'
Representative John Burnett of
Alabama enjoys the distinction of be-
ing one of the three smallest men,
bers of congress-in the point of
height at least. In other directions
Burnett makes a mighty creditable
showing.
Burnett is a lawyer. Down in Ala
bama he was arguing a case, barri.
caded behind a formidable pile of le-
gal literature. The opposing attorney
did something to which Burnett took
exception, and in a minute he was on
his feet objecting.
The judge interrupted him at this
point. at is customary to rise when
addressing the court" he observed
acidly.
'1'm standing up, your honor"
Burnett protested.
The judge stood up, leaned far over
the bench, convinced himself that the