South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-27
STATESMEN
REAL AND NEAR
BIZ FIRED @ KELLY.
BY FRED c. KELLY.

BY FRED c. KELLY.
In making parliamentary rulings
IN the house Of representatives, the
speaker is governed largely by pre-
cedent. The plan OF going according
TO precent is in itself a matter OF
precedent Thus the speaker is not
so much concerned with what is the
best line OF procedure right now as
with what was done in such a situa-
ton a crcat many years agO-just as
a lawyer trying TO settle a ditch case
viii get down a set OF books and Try
TO find what Vespasian or Moses
would have done in similar circum-
stances
From time TO time, when the
! speaker becomes too bored with his
job of presiding to stand II any
longer. he slides out and appoints
some other member TO stay IN iuXta-
position TO the lid until he returns.
Almost any member is tickled half
to death TO do this, just as every
little child, when playing school
wants to be the teacher and sit up
I'm front with a big stick.
Now If a number of years ago,
crazy man happened TO be in the
chair for the moment, and made
ruling on some new angle of parEa-
mentary discussion, that ruling would
form a precedent. If the same sltua-
ton arose in the house today Ben
nett Clark, the parliamentary clerk.
searching for a precedent would dig
10 that crazy mans ruling In less
time than II takes here to tell it-for
a mighty efficient and wise young
person is Bennett Clark.
A few days ago Mr.. Alfalfa Bit
Murray of Oklahoma, was in the
chair. Mr.. alfalfa BilI' used TO be
I L. in u Ia 40
and knows a good deal about parlia-
mentary law. Before he left the
chair he made an Oklahoma ruling.
I There arose a dispute on the floor as
to whether a certain amendment was
in order. Then some member gayly
offered an amendment to the amend
ment. and Murray said that would be
all right. too. This provoked further
disputation on the floor and nearly
everybody was disagreeing with
somebody else. LAS a matter of
fact" commented Acting Speaker
Murray. II am convinced that neither
the amendment nor the amendment
TO the amendment was in order at
all. but l have ruled that both were
in order and so we are going to pro-
coed this afternoon on that basis"
IF we were a cartoonist. the first
thing we would do would be to draw
a picture of Senator John Sharp
Williams face as ii looked on the
street car a few mornings ago.
Senators who persist in riding on
street cars along with the general
run Of people, instead of dashing
about in large, richly upholstered
limousine cars, simply have to stand
for the consequences: and that is
what John Sharp Williams was doing
that morning.
A i'll vrrff he af~ e
a person who keenly desires some
thing, sat down in the vacant seat be-
side Williams and began to engage
him in conversation.
i've been wanting TO see you for
a long time about a matter" began
the young man, and his face beamed.
But Williams face did not beam.
Here's something that will inter-
est YOU" went on the young man.
chuckling. and sapping his thigh
with one hand, while he pulled a
dull looking document from an inside
pocket with the other.
The young man read a few pas
sages from the document while the
senator intently studied the language
of a corset advertisement at the top
of the car.
Can you beat that?" gurgled the
young man. Now the position our
people take in the matter is"
And he was pulling another dreary
looking paper from his pocket.
BY that time everybody in the car
was fascinated by the look on John
Sharp Williams face. 1t wore an
expression that should have been
preserved TO pOsterity, with some such
title as this:
Portrait Study of a Man Looking
Entirely Disinterested."
of congress from Indiana, is a great
mimic and also likes to go to church
| In addition, he has an exceptionally
good memory. He can go TO church
and memorize the entire sermon.
Every Sunday Barnhart returns to
his hotel full of enthusiasm over the
sermon he has just heard, and starts
in 10 repeat it word for word just
as the man said ii. He gives not only
verbatim report Of the sermon, but
has the minister's every information
and gesture.
The consequence Of this is that
Barnhart is practically the only per
son at this hotel who ever goes to
church. All the others figure that
there is little use going when they
can sit on the front veranda and
have the sermon fetched right to
them by Barnhart.
Ambassador Da Cana of Brazil
one OF the mediatOrs in the Mexican
mix-up. studies paintings and sclup-
lures in his leisure moments
Minister Naon of Argentina, an
other OF the Mexican mediators, col
! lects rare coins.
Uncle Jeremiah Donovan, member
/ of congress from Connecticut. is a
great l<idder in a quiet. serious way
/ One afternoon a visitors dropped into
/ his office and offered him a cigar
I Donovan explained that he doesn't
/ smoke.
"Mebby your secretary smokes"
suggested the caller. affably.
"Mebby he does" observed DonO-
van; he doesn't do anything else"
i Copyright, 1914, by Fred c. Kelly