davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hayti herald. (Hayti, Mo.) 1908-1922, 1914-09-10

Nee to Coach prury Again.-Efforts
OF a number of schools to secure the
services OF Coach Dan Nee of Drury
college as their director of athletics
failed when Nee signed a contract to
remain. with Drury another year. He
had been considering number OF
good offers.
The Hayti herald. (Hayti, Mo.) 1908-1922, 1914-09-10

browns at Picnic.-Katie Kemper,
"a years old, daughter of Harry Kem-
numville, was drowned in the Charlton
river near Salisbury. A family picnic
was in progress and she was wading.
The body was recovered four hours
later. Her brother was drowned
about six years ago.
The Hayti herald. (Hayti, Mo.) 1908-1922, 1914-09-10

Train Kills Boy.-Dan Yeakey, IA
years old, of Joplin, was killed near
Carthage when he fell under the
wheels of freight train.
The Hayti herald. (Hayti, Mo.) 1908-1922, 1914-09-10

Finds Doctor Dead.-The body of
DIR. e. p. Walker, so years old, for
more than thirty years practicing
physician here, was found at o'clock
at night in the yard of his home. He
had been dead for some time. A
neighbor woman first noticed the body.
The dead mans wife is said to be out
,zlf town on a visit.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
Chang on Early Rising.

In the diary of which a partial
translator was issued last year. Il
Hung Chang deprecates the habit OF
early rising At the close of his visit
to st. Petersburg the Chinese states
man wrote: 81 have learned that We
start early tomorrow morning. This
is not to my taste. | would much pre-
fer to begin the journey now and
sleep on the train. To arise so early
in the morning seems to be a foolish
western practice, foolish especially
among men of state, who could so
much better transact their affairs at
night, when all is quiet and the mind
is most alert But from all can
learn these statesmen and lawgivers
look for their pleasures at night, 60
ing to banquets, theaters and fancy
parties. To this I attribute much Of
the intrigue known to all these courts.
Women cannot enter the council
chambers nor make speeches in par.
lament but they work their wiles a.
the parties and operas"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
May Return to The Pen.

Tom Bennett, Cadiz negro, who
was paroled from the Eddyville pen
itentiary several weeks ago, was ar.
rested on a larceny charge last Fri.
day and held to the grand jury on a
bond of 500, which he has been una.
BILE to give. Any law violation is a vio-
lation of the terms of the parole, and
if Bennett should be proven guilty
on trial of the larceny charge, he will
probably be returned to Eddyville to
serve out the remaining two years.
--Cadiz Record.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
WHEN A GIRLS NAME COUNTS
Elizabeth Randolph Was In Bad Hu
NOR Because West Point Cadet
Had Forgotten Her Name.

West Point history records this true
story. A cadet was asked by broth
err cadet to pay the devolrs Of one
friend to another by dancing with a
Fem" whom the second had
dragged" Now the introduction and
civil word we're over. and Cadet Two
hied him away, pledged to return in
time for the fifth dance.
He found his partner for the NTH
dance. But alack, her name had
slipped his memory. In the ballroom
this is not an unforgivable offence.
and he confessed his fault easily.
gracefully, humbly, expecting to be
absolved at small expense. But the
lady was not pleased, nay, she was an
noyed, and told him so. Her name was
a nice one. It was Elizabeth Randolph.
What did you think II was
Jones?" she asked in high bad humor
Then. by way OF retaliation-"I don't
know what your name is. You cadets
are so much alike. What is III"
my name is Algernon Leroy" he
answered sincerely. Then he sought
out his chum and warned him, for the
ladys sake. For his name was Jones
New York Evening Post
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
Beautiful MOSQUITO.

Most people are familiar with the
fact that a powdery or mealy sub
stance comes from the wings OF but
ternies and moths when they are
touched, or when they come against
the clothing. On account of this.
they are sometimes called millers,
though the term is more frequently
applied to moths The naturalist has
a long Latin name for them that
means scaly wings, and so calls them
the Lepidoptera.
Some other kinds of insects besides
the Lepldoptera have interesting
scales on their wings. which has a
very beautiful arrangement of long
fat scales arranged in rows along
the veins of the wings. Those OF the
butterfly are often OF especially beau
tiful colors so arranged as to form
exquisite patterns.-St. Nicholas.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
Shattered Test.

The extremely handsome profes
sor OF nerve restoration was address
ing his matinee class Of society ladies
relates the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
81 am about to show you one Of my
original tests" he said, with a flash
Of perfect teeth. 81 produce an arti-
fetal mouse attached to a string and
draw It across the floor. You all
know it is artificial and are not
startled. Yet there may be a little
palpitation. Let us see" He stepped
outside and Immediately reappeared,
his hand holding a string to which
a mouse was attached. He drew It
forward. you see how harmless It
is. Look at 1t for little while" He
tossed down the string and the mouse
Immediately made a dash for the
nearest chair. In five seconds the
room was empty.
The handsome professor looked
around ruefully.
That darn kid rung in a live one
on me-" he said.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
Gentle Hint

Not all the worms that turn are as
gentle and as tactful in their turning
as the one that a German paper re.
Gently described.
A quiet, patient little man had been
pushed about and trodden on by the
other passengers on a crowded street
car. For a long time he suffered in
silence. Then, in a meek voice, he
addressed an awkward youth standing
next to him.
Young man." he said. 81 hope
you will not think me rude, but may
! ask your age?"
The youth stared at him for a mo
ment and replied: Eighteen"
Eighteen" repeated the little man
softly "Now, really, young man. don
you think that you are old enough Il
stand on your own feet?"-Youth'i
Companion.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT
Worst to Come, But u VIII Be .
Few MiIIIon Years Before u
Gets Here.

The public is often put in a panic
BY scientific persons who. seem to
have little fear for themselves
Learned men announce one thing af
ter another that strikes terror to the
multitude.
Common persons cannot dispute
those who think in cycles and figure
with logarithms, and must take any
scientific declaration without ques
ton.
An astronomer now says that with
modern rehnements Of mathematical
analysis and Increased accuracy Of OBJ
servation 1t has been found that Mer-
curry does not conform to the New
tonian theory of gravitation. That
planet, II is added, is going too fast
and has a "kink" in its orbit. They
haven't yet figured out just what this
"kink" will do to us. but they come
forward with another theory that has
an awful kick In 1t.
The moon is misbehaving, they af-
firm. It is possible that the sights
observed by Luna in modern times
on this earth may have demoralized
her. She Is going faster than ever,
the astronomers say, and Is moving
toward the earth. When she reaches
the earth, even the astronomers will
probably take to the woods.
When will the moon get here?
why. she is coming at the rate OF
fourteen feet in 200 years, and is ex-
pected to arrive in 1.945, 200. 600 years.
Judge.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
Unusual Offer To Our Readers.

For limited time, and subject to
withdrawal after 80 days. the WELL
known publishing house of the J. B.
Lippincott Company, Philadelphia.
founded in 1892. offers to the readers
Of this paper IL months subscrip-
ton to ''Lippincott's Magazine" anS
a years subscription to the KentucE1
ian. both for $500. This is the price
of twelve months subscription to
"Lippincott's" alone. Additional to
obtaining every issue of this paper
for a year, our readers will receive
in 'Lippincott's." IL great complete
novels by popular authors, los short
stories. crisp. entertaining. original
45 timely articles from the pens Of
masters, and each month some ex-
cellent poems with the right senti-
ment, and "Walnuts and Wine"
the most popular humor section in
America. To obtain this extraordin-
airy offer prompt action is necessary.
Remit to ]. B. Lippincott Company.
Washington Square. Phila.. Pa.
Advertisement.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
Casey and the MvIe.

Twas Casey, ye know, whit into
business, an he bought livery shta.
BILE an had a painter make sign fl
tn front, showing him calamity
astride a mule. Twill advertise,
said Cacey. Along came Finnegan.
Ills a foine picture?' asked
Casey.
Sure said Finnegan; tbs loik-
ness. But who tn divvle is tn man
on yer back?"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
Children CRY
FOR FLETCHER'S
g a 9 TO RIA
Escaped Convict SurrenderS.

Bert Wing, aged 60, who escaped
from the penitentiary in 1903, volun-
tarily surrendered in Cincinnati this
week. He has been going under the
name of John Thornton and operat-
ing as a hold-up man. Wing was
given a life sentence for the murder
of Greenville. KY, woman who was
going under the name of Essie DAY.
is.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
somethlnn 10 Rnnt

"Oh, Uncle Fred" said Willie, ARE
you going to give. me that nice new
watch?"
NO" replied Uncle Fred; I'm go
ing TO trade It TO you for a perfect
report card from your teacher But
wait a minute-you're getting too
much the better OF the swap. You
ought TO give me something to boot.
"All right" said Willie. promptly
TN let you take my football"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
Postcards and letters.

you sent me so many picture cards
while I was at the summer resort,
she protested, instead Of writing
letters"
Well" he answered, 81 was try
ing to spare you any disappointments
AS soon as you see a picture card you
know there isn't going to be a checF
with it."
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
THE THRICE-A-WEEK EDITION
OF THE NEW YORK WORLD
Practically a Daily at the Price
of a Weekly. No other News.
paper in the world gives so
so much at so low a price,

This is a time of great events, and
you will want the news accurately
and promptly. All the countries Of
the world steadily draw closer to.
gether, and the telegraph wires
bring the happenings of every one
No other newspaper has a service
equal to that of The World and il
relates everything fully and prompt
ly.
The World long since established
record for impartiality, and: any
body can afford its Thrice-a-Week
edition, which comes every other
day in the week, except Sunday. 1t
will be of particular value to you
now. The Thrice-a-Week World al
so abounds in other strong features,
serial stories. humor, markets. car.
toons; in fact. everything that it to
be found in first class daily.
The THRICE-A-WEEK WORLDS
regular subscription price is only
$1.O0 per year. and this pays for
156 papers. We offer this unequalled
newspaper and Hopkinsville Ken.
tuckian together for one year for
$2,65.
The regular subscription price Of
the two papers is $500.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
Contrasted PRIVILEGES.

Don't you envy the opportunities
that great wealth affords?"
Well" replied the philosopher in
overalls; of course I'd like the
limousines and private yachts. But
don't care so much for the alimony
arguments and writs of habeas cor
pus."
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
In Excntlve Snsslnn

Bix-My wife holds an Indignation
meeting and adopts resolutions when,
ever stay out nights.
Dix-Well, that helps to pass away
her time.
Bix-Yes; but hang It, she insists
on reading the minutes after my ar
rival
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05

you seem very much impressed
by all these explanations l have been
giving you about banking and cur
rency."
yes Charley, dear" replied young
Mrs. Torkins. 1T seems perfectly
wonderful that anybody could know
as much as you do about money with
out having any"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
: e. n q
Time Card. No. 147

Effective Sunday, April II, 1914.
TRAINS GOING SOUTH.
No. &C. &N o. Lin. IL Sc p. m
No. 5l--St L. Express 5:S5 p. m.
No 95-Dixie Flyer 9:0l a. m.
No. 55-Hopkinsville Ar. 7:O5. a. m.
No. $751;. L. Fast Mail 5:33 a. m.
TRAINS GOING NORTH.
No. sc. & St. L. Linn, 5:25 a. m,
No. 52-St Louis Express. 9:52s. m.
No. 94-Dixie Flyer, 6:54 p. m.
No. 56-Hopkinsville Ac. $3.50 p. m.
No. 54-St. L. Fast Mail 1918 p. m.
Ma. 81 connects at Guthrie for Memphis
4, auos as far south as Erin and for LOUISVILLE
DIN etanati and the East.
Nos IS and IS make direct connections at Gut6
rie fcr Louisville Cincinnati and all points north
md east thereof Nos. SO and IS also connect for
Mem nbis and way points.
No. % carries through sleepers to Atlantis. Ma
con. jacksonville. St Augustine and Tampa. Fla
Also Pullman T ep r to New Orleans Connects
at Guthrie for points East and West. No 90 will
not carry local passengers for points north Of
Nashville. Tenn.
]. c. BOOE. Agt.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
"John" the Favorlts.

A French journal has been digging
into the soul OF the young girl. and
asking her what she wants in hus-
band as TO color, age and name. The
vast majority OF $4,000 reply that they
want dark man Of twenty-seven. and
his name should be the French equiv
alent Of John. None OF your Alger-
mons or Erics for the cautious damsel.
None OF your Hippolytes or Pauls-
merourial or subversive persons. They
want John when It comes to huD-
bands.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
Luncheon Almost Ready.

Two suffragettes, on a tramp for
the cause, were footing II along the
dusty road in the hot sun.
I'm just about baked" exclaimed
one.
Thank goodness" said the other
quickly; for am almost starved"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
Lucky Girl!

Can he keep your daughter in the
style to which she has become accus-
tomed?"
IF he cannot he is putting up q
fine bluff"
Does he say he CAM"
''No, but he appears to be worry
ing about what the income tax may
do to him"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
Killed in McCracken.

Ollie Covington, a twenty-three-
year-old negro boy, was killed by
lightning while blowing on his farm
near Sedalia, Ky. Death was instan-
taneous.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
Sad Awakening.

I shall never marry" said the
Young man with a pointed beard.
because you are an artist?"
Eyes, ] painted a picture of the
GIRL TO whom | was engaged She said
chat If that was the way | thought she
looked, II was better for us to part. "
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05

"That fellow gets seaslok. but he's
a game sport"
Keeps eating. does he7"
yes. he's had four breakfasts this
morning"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
Real Newspapers
]. BOOE. ACT.

Are you interested in what is TAX
ing place day by day all over the
worlo? If you ere. you NEED THE
COURIER-JOURNAL.
If there is an agent in your town
give him trial order one month
Daily so cents, with Sunday Is cents.
If there is no agent in your town
give your order to the paper in which
this advertisement appears you may
get g special clubbing rste), or send
the order direct to the Courier
journal.
WEEKLY COURlER-JOURNAL
has been discontinued, but FARM
AND FAMILY, a most excellent il
Illustrated monthly magsz ne, is a
worthy succe ssor. The price is only
25 cents a year. Ask for a sample
copy,
CourieT-JOurnaI Company
Incorporated
LOUISVILLE, KY.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05
Moneys Voice.

Money talks; but some have an I'M
pediment in their income.-Ashley
Sterne. d;
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-05-05

Waldo-Really, my friend. your
idioms are incomprehensible to me.
Mickey-Say, call me dat agin an
I'll break liver pane of glass in yer
face-see!
The fool-killer., 1914-09-01

told her that I hoped to perish
with political liars if we were not,
and she was satisfied. Then her
poodle followed the conductor
out Of the car, and she asked me
to get it back. [ chased that lit
tie four-legged bunch Of hair thru
every coach from the baggage car
to the rear, but finally succeeded
in landing her beloved poodle
in her presence. Then the window
had to go down. The hat box was
counted again and he was just
one. Then the window went up
and she asked me, if in my opin-
ion it wasn't hot day. [ replied
that it was.
During that day [ counted that
hat box three hundred times,
raised the window twenty-six
times, said it was hot till my ton
que was blistered, got her sixteen
drinks Of water, and enquired the
names Of eleven stations. She
said it was so nice to have man
In whom stranger could place
confidence.
When we reached Greensboro,
counted the things three times ov-
er, and helped her off the train,
got an auto for her, directed her
to Clegg Hotel, told her the street
price, name of the landlord, head
waiter, porter, and cook; assur.
ed her that she would not be rob
ed or murdered; that it had beer
hot day; that Greensboro had g
population second to any city il
the State, the place was dry, ano
AL Fairbrother was editor Of 'Ev
erything'' Poor woman, [ hope
the landlord had plenty Of pa
tience.
The fool-killer., 1914-09-01
[ Have "Jined.

I have now made application
for membership in the Socialist
party, and | aim to remain a reg
ular dues-paying member just as
long as | can scrape up enough
cash to pay the annual fee. This
is a step that I should have taken
long ago, and now | must make
up for lost time. If you don't be-
lieve | mean it, just keep your
eye on The Fool-Killer.
The fool-killer., 1914-09-01
Home, Sweet Home.

Oh, home! It is sacred place
Or was, in olden days,
Before the people learned to chase
To moving picture plays;
To tango dances and such things,
To skating on floor;
And now the youthful laughter rings
Within the home no more.
You will lrecall, old men and danes,
The homes of long ago,
And you'll recall the fireside games
The chadren used to know.
The neighbor's kids would come alolg
With your own kids to play;
And merry as bridal song
The evening passed away.
An evening spent away from home
In olden days was rare;
The children hadn't learned to roam
For pleasure everywhere.
But now your home is but shell
Where children sleep and eat;
1t serves the purpose very we'll
Their home is on the street,
Their home is where the lights are
bright,
Where rag-time music flows;
Their Moons the middle of the night;
Their friends are-Lord, who knows?
The windows of your home are dark,
And silence broods DER all;
You call it home-God save the mark,
'Tis but sty or stall.
The fool-killer., 1914-09-01
Three Drunks A Year.

Three times a year is not too
often for a gentleman to get
drunk,' said Daniel Noble at
Jamaica, New York, the other
day. And this gentleman went on
and delivered a long lecture on
the crying need of at least three
benders a year.
| wish could have heard that
lecture. And l would give my
yearly allowance of red eye to
get a1egal definition of the word
gentleman" in this connection.
Some men call themselves gentle
men who are not recognized as
such by their neighbors, and I
sorter 'spishun that this New
York k booze-artist is one of that
kind. No doubt he knows the
drunk business from the
bottom up, but he wouldn't know
a gentleman from a lamp post in
broad daylight. | take it that he
is one of these continuous
performance drunkards who gets
half sober three times a year and
goes out to whoop it up for the
likker gang.
Three drunks a year! And each
drunk four months long! If that's
what it takes to make a gentle
man, I prefer to be something
else. What do you say about it,
mister?
The fool-killer., 1914-09-01
THAT MERRY WIDOW.
THE LASH.

Well, why some women are
widows before they get the mat
rimonial paint and powder worn
rff their fac, is no longer myo-
terry to this scribe.
While riding On a train recent
ly, a bright-eyed, trisky little W.
man took seat Just behind me-.
She could out talk Is Victor graph
aphone, and every word was po:-
ished with brilliaD,y
She had suit case and h vt
box. Only short time elapsed
before she advised me that sn
was young widow, her husband
having peaceably entered the
hence beyond.
By the time the train had
moved out from the station she
insisted on counting her suit case
and hat box. She counted. There
was1iust two. [ counted and
made no more nor less. Then she
wanted her parasol put into the
rack, and her coat folded up and
her hat box counted again. I
counted it. There was just exactly
one hat box of it.
AS the train glided along she
wanted to know if [ was sure she
was ON the right train to Greens
boro. [ was sure. Then she
wanted her suit case counted.
[ counted it once more By this
time she wanted a window up,
and asked me if it wasn't really
a hot day. [ said it was Then
she felt for her money, tho she
was sure she had lost it. While
counting her money, she told me
of her sister, in going west ter
years ago lost three dollars. She
wound up the story by asking me
if it wasn't hot day. [ said il
was. Then she wanted that con
founded hat box counted agair
and [ counted him. He was still
one hat box.
She paused long enough to ge1
a long breath, and then she want
ed a drink. [ got it for her. The1
she wanted to know if we wer,
on the right road to Greensboro
[ assured her that I was positiv,
: Of the fact. The porter then call
ed out a station so indistinctl,
that she wanted me to go. and Sc
2 what the name really was. [ went
It was Donnaha. She wanted t,
, know if [ was sure that it wa
T Donnaha, and I held up my han,
and assured her that I would vot
e the Democratic ticket sooner thal
I deceive her. By this time sh
e wanted her suit case counted, an
q [ counted 'er. She figured up a
e before. | had just finished count
:. ing when she wanted to know
e [ didn't think it was a hot day.
: told her I did. Then she wante
a to know if I was sure we were o
the right road to Greensboro.
The fool-killer., 1914-09-01
Club Rates!
In Clubs Of Five, l5c a Year.

The
but will
excitement
the
Address:
FOOL-KILLER, MORAVIAN FALLS N.