davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
Abolish the MAGISTRATES

TNHE Magistrates Court system has again
i been disCredltcd by the scandals in the
STRAW bail" cases traced to the Office of the
notorious Mr.. Call. The prma facie evil
dence is quite sufficient to convince the pub
lie that the petty courts of justice in this city
are practically in league with the criminal
classes to safeguard them from the conse-
Quences of their wrong doing. They afford
no protection to law-abiding citizens, who
look to them in vain for redress or simple
Justice.
Since the establishment of the Municipal
Court the Magistrates have been fifth
wheel to the coach, and n very fiat wheel,
too They should be abolished by Consti-
tutional amendment at the very earliest
opportunity. They have brought law and
justice into the utmost disrepute among the
most numerous class in the city, whose chief
protection they We're intended - be against
just such sharks and shyaters as now use
them at will to harass and oppress those
whose real hope of ju ',ice and equity lies in
their prompt suppre. sion.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
The EXPLANATION Man

Oh, de explanation man, he come around
a-talkin' strongi
De words he uses soun's like dey was five
or six feet long.
He talks so ornamental dat you has a great
desire
To drop yoh daily work an stan an listen
an admire.
You kin AK i'm any question dat you chance
10 have on hand;
His answer will be mos too fine foh you to
understand
He will tell you bout de taxes an de cost
of what you eat
An bout de wars dat fll de world wifi sor-
row so complete.
But wifi all dis conversation bout de mos
dat he can say
Is dat men jes' keep on hghtin' an deys
got de tax to pay.
de bes' he can.
You never gets much comfort FUN de sx-
planation man.
-Philander Johnson in the Washington
Star.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
Pinchot, the Impossible Candidate

THERB is nothing left of the Progressive
l. party except the family quarrels. Mr..
Finchot it is true, continues his junket about
the state, candidate without colleague
and without party, but otherwise the Pro-
gressive movement has simmered away. 1t
accomplished but one thing worth while in
American politics; that is, it demonstrated
beyond all doubt the utter unwillnsness of
Republicans any longer to acquicsce in the
meretrcous leadership which had seized
upon the party
Mr. Pinchot is eloquent in denunciation of
Penroscism He wants to see it driven out
and utterly disrupted, he says There is a
way. Mr.. Lewis saw the hopelessness of
election and withdrew. The Pennsylvania
for-the- purpose Of his-candidacy-o should
be equally quick in immolating his ambition.
Let him prove the sincerity of his intent by
doing the one thing that is certain to ruin
Penroseism. He is now the senior Senator's
most formidable ally.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

imtression7 All day he worries about E
mentally tries this and that on; wonders,
he will look as well as the others there
5 The second fellow plugs on. If he has y
party to attend this evening, he will to,..
care of the matter of dress when evon,S.'
arrives. Now:
Which young man do you suppose will, oo,
the more real fun out of the party or a.
ball game? The fellow who used up h,s o,,
day energy in anticipating the occasion -
the fellow who enters into 1t fresh-minded
and with sense of having accomplisboS
something worth while beforehand?
If your play is more important to Won tbon
your work, your salary is too big, no mat
ter how small IL is If your work comes ers.
and stays there-some day the other fe,,o,,,
will come to you for job. He will call yo,,
lucky; but no doubt he will still he or
gagged in the se1fsame eight-hour-a-dav r,,.
suit Of secondary things-triies.
THE IDEATJsr
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
THE IDEALIST
GRANVILLE.

The pursuit of trifes is one of the most
common of human failings.
For Instance: Here are two clerks in a
business office. Both have planned TO go to
the ball game this afternoon All morning
the game is on the mind Of one of these
clerks; he mixes base hits with bookkeeping,
beautiful running catches with columns of
figures.
The other fellow subcOnsciously knows he
is going out to a ball game. But the fact
exists in his subconsciousness only For the
present, his mind is taken up with his DAYS
work. If he completes it satisfactorily and
in time he will go TO the game. II not, well
he will go some other day.
The nrst clerk is due at party this eve
ming. What will he wear to make favorable
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
Prophecy in Process of Achievement

FTNHE prophecy of Olivier in France, and of
i August Bebel in Germany, is coming to a
realization. 1t was Olivier, the Prime Min
lister of Napoleon III, who in letter to Will
helm | warned him against the annexation
of Alsace-L Lorraine. 1t was August Bebel who
in 1871 alone had the courage to stand up
in the Reichstag and plead with the rulers
of Germany not to tear asunder the bonds
which tied people together He boldly pro-
claimed the lurking danger to the interests
Of the German Empire and the peace of Eu-
rope In such an act But in vain. Germany
was to become a world power and in eXecut-
ing this design she was to stop at naught.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
"As Goes Maine"

From the New York Evening Mail.
The Maine result demonstrates anew that tbs
Republican party cannot hope to regain public
confidence to the extent of winning State elec-
tions so long as 1t remains, in policy and in
leadership, under control of the men whose
course In 1912 forced it to the most overwhelm-
Ing and humiliatng defeat that any national
political party ever suffered
The Maine verdict foreshadows the national
verdict because its voters are outside the preiu
dices that affect people in large cities They are
accustomed to do their own thinking, and to
do 1t in their own peculiar way. "
That independence still prevails. Yesterdays
election, therefore, has a significance that must
not be mnmized by students of national DO
litical currents. Coming from a State in which
the Republican policy of protection shoulo II
anywhere, strengthen greatly the Republican
cause, the figures must be regarded as show
ing that the asserted weakness of the Wilson
Administration is Republican hope rather than
a fact. Also to be reckoned with, as equally
decisive If not equally numerous as in 1912
are the forces that moved forward when the
Republican party, under Barnes Penrose and
Lorimer, moved backward Those forces are
still looking forward, and they see no Repub-
lican party the horizon. It has not yet
caught up from the rear.
Maine sounds warning that must be needed
by Republicans in every state in which they
hope to retrieve their fallen fortune.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
An Appeal to the Farmers
,m the New York Tribune.

From the New forK Trlbune,
Recognizing the fact that America must sup
sply extra large part of the worlds food
stuffs next year, the International Harvester
Company of America has begun q campaign to
the farmers of this country to their
opportunity and duty. 1t urges every farmer
to utilize every available acre and to increase
the average yield OF each acre. That is ex-
tremely good advice two counts.
The first is the natural desire of all producers
to have available large supply of merchandise
when there is an unusual demand With Eu-
rope in chaos, question exists about the
demand and no question about the deslrablllty
of being able 20 fill 1t with profit. The second
is the more humanitarian and altruistic con-
flowing storehouse of American farms. the
suffering which Europe's shortage of grains
and stock will inevitably produce. This has
been a year of bounteous crops here. If care
full planning and skilful working can do It,
next years crops should be even bigger for
there will be need for all that the best farm
ing and the most propitious weather conditions
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
IN THE CORNFIELD

Unseen. the farmers boy from round the hln
Whistles a snatch that seeks his soul uh'
sought. ,,,,
And fills some time with tune, albeit shrlli
The cricket tells straight on his sinPi'
thought
Nay, tits the crickets way of being still:
The peddler bee drOnes in and sos5lps naush''
Far down the wood. q one desiring dove
Times me the beating OF a heart OF love-
And these be all the sounds that mix each
morn,
With waving of the corn.
There, while pause, my fedward farms 80 80
Take haryests, where the stately corn RANKS i'S''
OF inward dignitles.
And large benignities and insight wise
Graces and modern majestes, 80,
Thus, without theft, l reap anotheTs held.
Thus, without tilth / house wondrous ylelo oon.
And heap my heart with quintuple crops ''
eealed. r..t.r
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
Sober Second-Thought Treaties
From the 81. LouIs Republie.

From the ST. Louis Republic.
Treaties of peace and arbitration are valuable
manifestations of public sentiment. They alse
help TO create and deepen right sentiment
They are educational and they foster habits OF
thought that make for sobriety and moderation
The Bryan commission treaties designed to
insure delay and give reason and common sense
a chance. If such treaties had been in force IN
Europe last July, and If Austria and ServIa, to
begin with, had lived up to them and appointed
a high JOINT commission of inquiry, the war
might have been averted. The whole world
knows that delay and opportunity for more dis
cussion and moral pressure were devoutly
wished for at that anxious time. Without
cherishing illusions then the acceptance by SO
many Powers of the Bryan treaties may DO
welcomed as a heartening sign. Such treaties
will be part of civilized and democratic ma
chineTy OF war prevention. Military cabals
never can wait; peace loving nations will give
themselves ample time for reflection and sober
second thought.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
Speaking of Names

She was round and she was ruddy,
And her cheeks were like the rose;
And she weighed at least one eighty
AS the hay scale record shows.
She was sound as any dollar,
And no stronger girl you've met;
Yet this big and robust creature
Had been christened Violet.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
He is sissified and happy
And he shrinks from blows and strife,
And he never said a scrappy
Word in all his peaceful life.
He would show Il streak of yellow
If he saw a wooden gun;
Yet this flossy little fellow
Has been christened Wellington.
Springfield Union.
She was built of bone and gristle,
And her nose was sharp and thin,
And her eyes were sharp as gimlets,
And she had n sCrappy chin;
With her tongue she tore her neighbors'
Reputation up, and she
In the days beyond recalling
Had been chriStened Charity.
Houston Post.
He is crooked and a CRATER
And he seldom tells the truth;
Has been robbing other people
Ever since he was youth.
Beats his wife and plays the bully,
But from any man would run;
Yet this much -detested villain
Has been named George Washington.
birmingham Age-Herald.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
Morality Comes Before Economics

MIR. PENRoSE is or is not the directing
lFl brains of the Organization in Philadel-
phia and the State. He is or he is not re-
aponsiblc for it's acts He approves or he
does not approve the bipartisan alliance
through which the liquor interests are
brought into support of his candidacy. If he
is responsible for the notorious political inn
morality with which his name is associated,
he has no right to ask even consideration OF
his economic views "a candidate must come
into court with clean hands. Can Mr.. PEN
rose do that?
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

DECACSE the soundness of Republican
~ principles has been confirmed by the
risks and fatuities of a Democratic National
Administration, the Republican party ap-
peals with redoubled force to the country.
its positive warrant, and now this has been
strengthened by the record of a Congress
which, always on the verge of ruinous follies,
has been preserved from outright destruction
only by the hand of a President far stronger
in personal ascendency than in party
regularity.
Should Mr. Wilson let go the steering
wheel, the Legislative car would plunge
through the fence, By exercising the pre-
negatives of a benevolent autocrat Mr.. VIII
son, with what measure of tribulation none
but he can fully know, has contrved to save
his party's face.
With the Republican party precisely the re-
verse is true. The party principles are
sound; the party itself is trustworthy and
efficient at the core. But 1t is blocked from
power by an evil leadership which the peo-
pie do not dare to trust with their national
destinies The Republican party is the only
party in this State that can safely be given
political power If permitted to act of itself,
free from boss dictation. 1t Is the boss of
Republican Pennsylvania who has driven II
out of power and kept it out of power. 1t Is
Penrose who has been the head and brains
of that bipartisan betrayal of public inter-
ests in this State which has shamed the
Republican party no less than it has lent the
Democratic party a fictitious influence that
alone it could not have exerted.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

From the Baltimore Ney

From the Baltimore News.
The favor of this country seems to be courted
on all sides. The propaganda which is being
carried on here is dangerous to our peace OF
mind and spirit of fairness not to our
national peace. But it goes elsewhere.
There is little country called Holland that
is struggling nightly to preserve its neutral.
ity. and to which war would spell ruin and
perhaps obiteraton. Yet for all the regret and
horror of war that the great Powers daily
expressing, each is spending it's efforts in
melting that little country to hostility against
the other. What sort of friendship Is 1t that
permits such things? The world is already
half embroiled Why should the other half be
inundated with unsubstantiated accusations,
half-truths, eXaggeratons that, if believed.
must at the very least cmhltter its neutrality
and may even lead it to condone offense against
its strict neutrality or tempt it to depart from
an honestly impartial course?
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

has broken down in most discreditable
fashion
Sir Lionel Gardens anti-American out
bursts are distinctly adverse to the success
of our country's steadfast purpose and policy
in the establishment of cordial political and
closer commercial relations with Latin Amer
lea, and should be put stop to with i'm
pressve promptitude by our British cousins
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

There was fire in his eye and his fist in
his hand.
where's the dishdonged printer who set
this obituary notice?" he Numbered.
whats wrong with it?" meekly asked the
third subassistant city editor.
Wrong with it? Everything! I wrote
a beautiful poem, beginning: She was left
a weeping widow and that blabgasted
printer made it read: She had cleft a
weeping willow. Then wrote Throw thy
pearls before the swine And how did 1t
come out? How? 1 ask Buy thy curs
| do mine. l -"
Gently, yet firmly, they killed him, for
obituary poets taboo in highest journal
istic circles.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
For Norwegians Exclusively

once put on a. pair of skis"
And jumped into the skies
But just how to pronounce the name,
1 haven't been put wise"
"Just heard from the human encyclopedia
who adjoins us on the northwest that the
plural of ski is ski and that the singular Of
ski is ski. For which information an ex-
peCtant world should be duly thankful.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

The moral damage OF this war to the school
child will be incalculable. It fills his head with
daily stories Of bloodshed' hghtings' passions
revenpe, religion Is so overshadowed by the
daily story OF Christians blowing each others
brains out that It is hard TO make 1t even
reality 10 him. and to human brotherhood
there is no such word in our vocabulary at
present except as we Americans can eXemplify
u-Christian Work and Evangelist.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
NATIONAL POINT OF VIEW

The National Municipal League is very
well-meaning and hgh-minded institution. but
If il imagines for a moment that the peoples
OF cities In general and Boston in particular
have the slightest notion of giving up the right
to choose their own Mayors it is gravely de-
Iuded-Boston Post
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
Survived the Ordeal

A Scot of PEBBLES said to his friend Mac
Andrew: Mac hear ye have fallen in
love wi bonny Kate McAllister."
''Weel, Sanders" Mac replied, 81 was
near-verra near-daein' in, but the bit
lassie had nae siller so I said to maself.
Mac, be mon. And l wis a mon, and moo
I list pass her by"-ArgOnaut
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

Thus far the war has produced no great
poem. and the first forthputtings OF the poets
OF distinction have been Disappointing but 1t
Is too soon TO abandon hope. The first shock
was too strong for poetic expression, which
requires a transformation of emotion into
definite form. 1t win be surprising II some
notabl poetry Is not inspired by the war, and
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
Fair Words or Nothing

George" said the wife to her generally
unappreciative husband, "how do you like
my new hat?"
well, my dear" said George, with great
candor, ito tell you the truth"
stop right there, George! If you're going
to talk that way about it, l don't want to
LnOW."-Ideas.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
WHY There Are No New Jokes

King Ashurbanurpal laid down the morn
Ash, ETC., that there was nothing new under
the sun.
Where didst thou hear that, great King?'
asked the court Jester. Which goes far to
prove that even the wisest of ancients wasn't
original. .'
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

Philadelphia school children can't lose very
much on account OF the elimination Of Euro
pean geography from the schools. They
couldn't keep up with all the changes in the
map anyhow.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
CURIOSITY SHOP

The expression, knock wood" is said q.
date back to the Crusades. At that tin,a
when religious fervor and belief were e fos
stronger than today, almost every sol.
der carried a piece of what he concoi,ns SUI,
to be part of the true cross. When e,,i
seemed impending, or before going int
battle, the crusaders were wont to touch tbo
bit of wood, usually kept in an expensive
golden receptacle. Eventually any piece ~
wood was touched for luck and SO the eT.
preston came into general vogue
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
A Pleasant Ride Ahead

"Great Scott! I forgot to bring the tool KIT
along"
90 right on without taking time out for you
10 tinker with the engine Detroit Free Press
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
Two Essentials

Tommy" said the Sunday school teacher,
who had been giving lesson on the bap-
tismal covenant, can you tell me the two
things necessary to baptism?"
"Yes'm," said Tommy, water and baby"
Western Mail.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
One Good Bathroom, Surely

THAT rich Mr.. Smith is going to build
home that will cost $3,000,000
That looks as if the plumbing was in
cluded."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
A Diplomat

How do you like your new music master?"
HE is a very nice, polite young man. When
I made 4 mistake yesterday he said, Pray,
mademoiselle why do you take much
pains to improve upon Beethoven? p ?'"-Paris
Figaro.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

Those African troops OF the French are
said TO be the best shots among the allies, but
the Africans in American can be backed
against any Of them when it comes to shoot
ing craps.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
An AGED Infant

Miss Carter was born in Maize, Kansas
at the age of 30 years, five months and one
day."-Beardstown, ILL.,, Star.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
Fighting it Out

From the New York Herald.
Amy cessation of hostilities lin Europe) a.
this time would be disaster to the cause OF
true peace, a disaster to humanity. Far better
that the issue of Prussian militarism be tough'
nnu
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
Cause for Mirih

"why are the hyenas laughing so hysteri-
cally?" asked the visitor to the Zoo.
Somebody mentioned - just now,"
explained the keeper
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

1t may not have had anything to do with
it, but the decision of Turkey not to join
Germany came remarkably soon after the
successes Of tn allies along the Marne began.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
In A SPIRIT OF HUMOR
A Hair-Raising Joke

From the little we have seen of purple
hair, it appears to be womans Glowing
plOry
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

The pity Of 1t is that the vast horde Of
amateur strategists in this country cannot
be sent to the front, and to that part Of the
front where the firing is heaviest.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

Delaware gets the nickname the Blue Hon
state, from an expression attributed to one
Captain Caldwell, noted for his cocls "A Sgbt Gte
Ing proclivities. In days gone by the entiro
State was addicted to this kind of "sport
and Captain Caldwells allegation that M
rooster could be game unless Matched bv "o "
blue hen stuck to the State ~
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
Twas But a Dreaml

He ate two big Welsh rabbits
In the land of horror tarried.
He dreamt-it was n frightful dream
He dreamt that he was married.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

Seryia's army is not so large, but her Of
Hcial news bureau is fully up to the standard
Of the allies in sending out reports
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

To the first German soldier VI sets foot
on English soil a Berlin newspaper has
offered S75O-just about enough to give his
remains a decent burial
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

The so-called Fatal Stone. now restirr T.,
westminster Abbey, was used first az
a place on which to crown the kings of
Munster 1t was originally deposited in rho
Cathedral of Cashel their metropolis. In
l213 Fergus, a prince of the royal line, bav.
Ing obtained the Scottish throne obtained
this stone for his coronation at Dunstaff-
mage, Where 1t continued until the time of
Kenneth II, who removed 1t to Scone IN
1925 1t was taken by Edward 1 to London
and placed in the world famous Abbev
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

1t appears from the news stories that the
Paul Revere of Brussels rode motorcycle.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

The principal die-stuf from Europe still
continues 70 be red.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19

Sir Edward Carson has just been married.
He will now learn what home rule means.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1914-09-19
Thus Died a Hero

'1nsert name of statesman you don't like
over well.