The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1914-10-09
81
GEORGE
ABE.
1,.,-,,n.,r N ,,oa,, .o>N
FABLES
SLANG.

and give the Rummies Touch of
High Life.
1t was the first time Madeleine
had spread her Wings and hit the
rarefied Strata. For a Beginner she
was there with the Spread. She made
the American Eagle look like an Eng
lish Sparrow
AS soon as she arrived back In
Sleepy Hollow she began to turn the
Old Family Residence upside down
and get it stocked up, just like Club,
for the Hot Babies from the Metrop-
oils.
The Real Things arrived on a Spe-
cial Car with their Hats down over
their Ears and were more or less OBJ
scured by Dogs and English Help and
Cigarette Smoke. AS they rode up
Main Street there was Pale Face at
every Window. Just as the Parade
passed the High School, the tall
Smoke-Stack over at the Hominy
Mills fell with Loud Crash.
That Afternoon there was smell
of Moth Balls in many Refined
Home, for all who had learned to take
Soup from the side of the Spoon were
under Royal Command to come up
and get private Peek at the import
ed Gentry.
1t was to be Dinner followed by a
Small Dance. If it had been a full
sized Affair, no doubt Father would
now be working by the Day.
Instead of the customary Carna-
tons and Maiden-Hair Fern gracing
the center of the Board, the terrified
Guests saw Wagon-Load of tropical
Bloom which pleased them very Much
as soon as each had secreted new
kind of Cocktail, served in a Goblet,
with Stick of Dynamite substituted
for the Olive.
The Orchestra did lot Of those
ooh! Oh" Rags while strange Foods
kept descending to the Table and a
Special Corps of Walters tried to give
an Imitation of the Johnstown Flood
Conversation became epidemic and
many Local Characters who had re-
NAMED in Obscurity for Years came
out Of their Pods and began to hop
about and sing in the Sunlight.
Members of the Married Women's
Safety League were hanging out Signs
Of Distress and trying to give Warn
ing Signals but Madeleine would not
permit them to crab her Little Party.
She wanted to show the Boobs just
how these Recherche Functions are
stage-managed in Upper Circles.
Accordingly they all felt their Way
to the Front Room, where they Found
awaiting them Bowl of Artillery
Punch about the size of Lake Erie,
and no more Harm in full Bumper
than there is in Rattle-Snake.
Madeleine headed off a Two-Step
and told Friends and Neighbors to sit
back close to the Wall with a Piece
of Ice in each Hand and get Wise to
the latest 1914 Stuff.
Then She and her Friends pinned
up their Garments and put Resin on
their Hands and cut loose. They did
the Argentine Tango and the Make
and the Twinkle and the Ta-Tao and
ehO ShO OSOp AAu IuO SdoliO w din duu
the Hesitation and the Rye Waltz,
etc., etc.
The Fire Department began carry
ing out Bodies at 1890 a. m. Some
Of the Survivors were hurrying Home
through the Alleys, wondering If they
could fix up Alibis. At Daybreak
many Prominent Citizens were found
Miles from their Homes wandering
aimlessly in Roadways and shouting
Take it awayi"
Next afternoon the Male Parent of
Madeleine crawled out from under
the Wreckage and said to his Only
Daughter: You are too Progressive
for us Farmers. Take your Trained
Troupe Of Society Acrobats and get
out Of Town. The White Caps are
now gathering in the Outskirts"
Madeleine simply retorted that the
Dances were being done in the most
Exclusive Homes.
An Exclusive Home is one from
which the Police are Excluded.
OF course she never dared to return
to her Birthplace after this Scandal
Gus Performance.
She had to remain in the Cruel City
as the free and unrestricted wife of
Cotillon Leader with an Income of
$1,000 a Minute.