The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1914-02-08

fr an anointed ruler. There was some opposition
to him whin he come in on tn ground that he had
niver been able to larn to spell an was given to
THROWN fits in public. but him bein tn on'y MIN
be- iv tn rifle family thin at large they had to take
him
An there he sets. nresdn' over tn destinies
iv this proud people an supported be socyalistc
parlymnt that absolutely does his bidding afther
ii has told him what to bid He has forty UNIV
forms. is colonel in twinty-two Euro-peen rigi-
minis, carries soord that has give him bad list
to starboard an his fav-rite sport is sthrinein'
buttons. He has tn largest collection iv buttons
in tn wurruld. 1t is noble sight to see him
clingin' to snow white charger an reviewin tn
Poosylanyan ARMY. which is almost as big as
tn Father Matthew Fife an Dhrun corps Bur
he has to be watched ali tn time TO keep him firm
cuttin tn buttons off his UNIFORMS an putin
thin on stirring. made great hit with him
be sindln him me modest collection that I'd
pried firm tn coats v tn officers iv tn law in
Chicago while they lay asleep.
But yell want to know how tn arnbassadure
is gittin' along He's credit to his country an
his ancient calling. He has done ivrything ex-
picted iv an American ambassadure He has
larned to talk afher dinner at lenth sootable to
tn best TRADITIONS iv our diplomacy It's become
sicond nature with him, an he can't ate piece
" pie at a railroad station without addhressin' a
few Remarks to the hired help on tn ties that
binds tn two great nations together. At a meetin
~ tn Poosylanyan- American society, which was
formed befure tn exthraditon threaty was passed.
he made an Grafton that lasted firm ouarther to
twelve ontil his mellow peeryods mingled with TIL
tlnkling " tn bells on tn cows bein dhriven to
pasture be Numbers iv parlymint He said tina,
Poosylanyans an us were brothers, or annyhow
cousins; that we spoke tn same dilect; that tn
same blood coorsed through our veins America
he said. claimed half inthrest in their cillvbrated
pote, Hockheimer, while tn wurruks iv such
Poosylanyan authors as Myerowtz, Wynzevzky.
an Phutch were read as eagerly in Ioway as in
tn land Nv their birth He glored in tn fact that
George Wash nton Abraham Lincoln. an Willum
Sulzer were iv Poosylanyan extraction He said
it was too early [ A voice: It's half past FOUR"
an laughter to discuss a threaty which he was
arrangin'. but he hoped in few DAYS to announce
that Poosylanya wud remove tn ooty on our
pickally an we Wild let in their smeerkase free
Win that gr-reat charter. that pact iv peace. is
completed. he says, TIL two pow'rful nations will
march hand in hand an arm in arm an cheek
be jowl. spreadin' goryous example iv brother
hood throughout tn wurruld an DARN tn Jealous
powers to come on.
Here he stopped to weep IT is wonderful
how quick he has adopted til American diplomatic
custom Nv weepin'. Eve seen him mix horseradish
without shown tn Taste emotion. but now he
can't mintion tn frindship between our country
an this cabbage garden without sobbin' as though
his heart wud break.
." There's on'y wan thing that bothers his
xcillincy, an that's his harness AS ye might say.
it's tn on'y fly in his vinegar. Befure he come
over here he took tn advice v tn sicrety iv state
and bought himsilf swalowtail suit firm Eel