The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1914-04-03
TheGrandP romoter
A Stranger Plays Him a Low
Down Trick
By M. QUAD
Copyright, 1914. by Associated Lit
erary Press.

Come right in!'
"I'm looking for the Major Crofoot
that has all sorts of good things to in
vest in" said the caller.
Then you have come to the right
place. Have chair"
Thanks. Now. then, I don't wish
to take up your valuable time. Have
you got anything good on hand? l
want something perfectly safe that
will return or 10 per cent on the
money"
"My dear sir, have got half dozen
of the best things going. When you
speak Of 8 or 10 per cent dividends 1t
makes me smile. l don't deal in such
small fish. Anything l take hold Of
must pay 80 per cent or drop it."
Good Lordv' calculated the caller as
he sat up.
'Thirty per cent at least, sir. What
would you say to stocks paying dollar
for dollar?"
But I'm willing to take 40 per
cent" replied the man. Gee whiz,
but what man can ask for more than
that?"
Every fair. very fair" loftily replied
the major. but nothing to brag of.
Being you have come direct to the Of
fee 1 want to pick out something ex-
ira. Let me see. The Universal Glass
Eye company paid 60 per cent divi-
bends two years ago, but last year
dropped down to 30. 1t will be still
less than that this year on account OF
hard times. Lots of one eyed people
stick a patch over the eye and let 1t
go at that. If you'd come in month
ago 1 could have let you in on the
ground floor of the Magic Rat and
Mouse Destroyer. The stock went like
wildfire, and the last was sold at 5000.
We figure it will pay 400 per cent div
idends for the next twenty years."
"And l can't get in. Thunder. but
why didn't know about it! But you
must have something for me-" insisted
| the caller in anxious tones.
LET me see! Let me see! How alb
sentminded l am this morning. Just
as you knocked was making up the
incorporation papers for my last and
best scheme. It's one that'll lay over
all others. l was saving it to begin
the year on"
Good, good! What is it? By
George. old fellow. if you put me on to
something good you shan't lose by it!'
"You know what delicacies turtle
soup and turtle steak are cOnsidered?"
Il do"
And you know the high price frogs
legs bring?"
"Yes."
"Well, that's the basis of the Great
Western company, just organized. We
are going to rent nine square miles OF
Lake st. Clair fats and raise our frogs
and turtles and can them on the spot
They will be canned in champagne
and the labels on the cans will bt
handsome enough to frame and hane
in any ones parlor. Three turtle
steaks and two dozen frogs legs every
can. Killing and canning take place
every day. We shall control the mar
ket of the world
what dividends do you figure on?'
"Well. last night was figuring on I
straight 100 per cent. but this mornin,
! thought l ought to make little al
lowance. Many turtles die Of home
sickness, you know, and certain pc
cent of the frogs are bound to juml
the wire fences and get away. To b
: very safe and conservative l have pu
the dividends at 95 per cent. l thin
that is a rather neat figure, don't you?
! "Great! Great Scott, I've been lend
. ing money at 6 per cent?
"How-how much were you thinking
of investing?" asked the major In
l voice that trembled in spite of himself
3 Twenty thousand dollars perhaps"
}. "And you-you will pay somethin
9 down to secure the stockT
+ "A hundred dollars. Here's a chez
/. I'll indorse over ID you, and I'll come !
= tomorrow and pay the balance and &c
the stock. By George. but I'm In luch
Just think Of getting hold of some
thing paying 95 per cent dividends
e Why. my wife Will think me Graz
i when l tell her about this. You won
let Morgan buy the whole thing up an
4 freeze me out. will your
: mo. You shall have the stock"
"And I'll remember you. I'll bu
. you a pearl pin out Of the first div
dend. If you want, when you g
t started. I'll show you how to cate
:. frogs for canning. There's peculia
= way of getting hold Of them by OF
hind leg. Ninety-five per cent! can
help but dwell on it!'
Eyes. it's good thing" replied Il
I. major as he showed the folded CHEF
!. into his vest pocket in careless wa
"a "You will be in tomorrow"
" "Sure. Mike! If was Frenchmf
d I'd kiss you for luck. but as I'm n
"a well shake hands and I'll say ia.
Tomorrow. Ninety-five per cen
Whoop!'
When he had gone the major walk
Ia up and down to calm his raging heal
1t didn't seem possible. He couldI
credit his good luck. Then at last
took the check from his pocket al
looked at it to see what bank it W
drawn on. His eyes opened wide. al