New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-05-31

every two weeks and only gain in interest and popular
itv; but when every man of the group has printed
COPY Of the story framed and hung above ms desk the
laughter at the end Of the story, when is delivered at
a dinner is likely to be just q little forced.
So shall not tell Bill Higgins story. 1t was-and
IS still-a story about a mule his grandmother owned
when Bill was a boy back in Ohio in the days before the
war. There was an old woman who used to cross the
Ohio River in a slif, always bringing two baskets OF
eggs TO trade at the general store and when Bill Higgins
told the story he would describe his dear old grand
mother. with her placid, kindly features and the two
little curs that hung down in front of her ears and how
she used to ride into town old-fashoncd pillon
behind Bill on the old black mule. Everybody loved
her Bill loved her. The merchants loved her The
whole town loved her. Even her mule loved her; but
he did not love bonnet she bought one day when
she was in town Bill described the bonnet, and tears
would run down faces when he enumerated the
various sorts Of plants and vegetables the local mlner
had been able to crowd onto that bonnet.
Bill Higgins would get his grandmother 20 the store
in town and get the bonnet her head and then he
would cross the Ohio River (vcrbay, and describe the
old egg woman and how she rowcd the sklt across the
riycr and what hot-tcmpcrci Old creature she was
Then ne would land the old woman on the Ohio side Of
the river and her up the steep lcvcc with basket
Of eggs on each and every time her foot would slip
we would gasp for the safety Of the eggs. He would
leave her painting before the general store, with the two
baskets Of eggs on the edge of the plank walk, while he
went inside and brought out his grandmother and then
he would have all four OF them where the excitement
began
Bill himself would be standing one foot trying to
pull splinter Of his toc-sor Of hophopping around
on the plank wall. foot with the other foot IN one
hand. The old woman from across the Ohio would be
wping her face with a big red banlana, and gasping
10 get her breath The mule would be tied to the rail
in front Of the store And the grandmother her
kindly heart,-woud walk out Of the store, unhitch
the mule from the rail- and try 10 draw him up % the
edge OF the walk she could mount.
DIGIT there was where we always began to laugh.
Bill Higgins would describe the effect OF the hat on
the mulchis first staggering surprise, his fond emotion
as he recognized carrot and couple Of thistle heads on
IT, and then his air of doubt he blue rose, and
finally his fright as the ensemble really struck home.
Then Bill Higgins would tell how shocked and surprised
his grandmother was when the mule began TO back,
dragging her after him by the rens and how every lift
of the mules head would lift his grandmother of her
feet as if the mule was sort Of derrick and when
We were diving Of laughter Bill Higgins would tell how
the mule with little side leap, capcd on the plank
walk and putting his fore feet in basket Of eggs sat
down in the other basket.
And my grandmother" Bill Higgins would say,
soon were calm enough 20 let him proceed, my
grandmother just raised her hands and said, My, My.
Rastus! What DO YOU think YOU ara cook or hem"
That was of course point enough for any story; but
when we would have quoted down enough Bill Higgins
would smile and spring the snapper on us.