News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1914-06-10

buttons. In the choice of home, In
the matter of furnishing, in the uues
ton Of servants, in the management
of the household, occur daily little
problems that seem to solve them.
F., selves In the spirit of compromise. of
| quietly talking matters over. Of gentle
conference of two, working to the at
tainment of common aim and sim
| gle ideal. These, after all, are only
questions of taste and of judgment
Often more subtle and vital are those
problems that relate to temperament.
| Sometimes Il word of impotence
may bring its echong reply in the
same spirit to the lips of the other,
but a seconds frmness, just IA mo-
mentary self control an instant's
| translation of the thought into another
key of sweetness and sympathy, and
| the desecrating discord has been passed
in safety. Sometimes, too, a silence of
gentle reproof may be oil Of compro-
mise on the troubled waters.
Most of the surrenders in married
life are in trifies where it really makes
no difference which surrenders. The
great questions the large problems,
usually unfold all their phases under
the sunshine Of conference and the
issue is the dual wisdom in a single
verdict which is unanimous. If the
matter be vital and the jury of two
cannot agree on verdict. then it
seems part of wisdom of compromise
for the one who is the ADLER judge of
what is proper and fitting in the spe-
cial instance to decide the momentous
question with the force of final vote
There are occasionally topics of con-
versation upon which the two cannot
agree, where the husband or the wife
feels the rightneSS or wrOngness of
certain subject with an intensity that
seems to brook no opposition. 1t may
be as far outside of the field of logic
as the most distant star is beyond the
solar system-then what is the use of
trying to put new life into dead issue
by discussion?
When the signs thin ice" are con-
spicuous, it really might seem like
prudence to confine the conversational
skating nearer to the shore line. Argu-
ment in general is dangerous. and often
graceful dropping of the subject is
a kindly admission that there may be
two sides to the question.
Do you not think we often expect too
much of those who are dear to us and
that this very eXaggeration may often
render us unjust? The optimistic eff
fort to make the best of things, to look
as closely as possible on the sunny
side of life and its problems, to keep
away from needless worry and useless
regret, will do much toward lubricat-
Ing the wheels of the domestic regime.
1t is a talent worthy of cultivation in
the home-the special ability not to see
certain little inharmonies that may ad-
just themselves if they are unnoted.
The spirit of compromise does not de-
mand a continuous performance in the |
way of self surrender and self sacri- |
fee. 1t does not require ceasing to be |
a voice and becoming an echo. 1t does |
not imply or justify any loss of indi-
v II LlCuLS SlLIpIy lIc lllSIluC-
tive recognition Of the best way out
Of difficulty, the quickest lacking to
avoid a collision, the kindly view of
tolerance in the presence of the weak
ness and errors of another.
There are men who take no more
genuine interest in their home beyond
paying the bills than if they were
merely occasional guests. They seem
% regard home as a mere dormitory
md dining room. They often wonder
n a vague way why their marriage is
lot successful. If it were a success
t would be miracle.
There are wives who spend most of
heir days outside the home walls,
levoting their golden hours of posi-
1ility to dress, visits, theaters. gossip,
dleness, frivolity and amusement
lhe house that they might convert into
shrine of love and peace and happi-
less is delegated to the care of serv-
nts. Their children are practically or
haned under the trusteeship of
lurSes. These women are losing the
ealities of life in chasing shadows.
hey are mere dodgers in their own
omes. They are too much interested
n the side lines of life to spend ear
est thought on making the real bust
ess, marriage, a success. They are
ften the ones who, in bursts of femi-
inc confidence, bemoan the failure of
heir married life and display their
Obes of martyrdom.
Nature meant husband and wife ID
Implement each other, to be stronger ,
ecause of their union, differing in !
leir qualities, in their powers and pos :
but harmonized and uniting :
1r the best solution of their life prob :
ms. The husband can find no help r
the counsel of his wife in an emer- .
ency If he has stifed her power of in r
ividual thinking or permitted it to +
acome dulled and deadened through I,
SuSp. =.