The Washington herald., 1914-03-08

Bunch interrupted loudly by asking after Uncle Pc
ters health.
Never better" answered Aunt Martha sfIe has
spent all the morning arranging the program of dane
ing for our little party He insists upon having the
Virginia reel the old-fashioned waltz the polka, and
the lancers. Uncle Peter has perfect horror of
these modern Dances and Peaches and Alice and
share it with him." Then she turned to key, "Dont
you think these modern dances perfectly disgust
ing?"
Poor key looked rcproachfuly at the old lady a
second then with gathering astonsiment he slid 81
lently off the chair and struck the floor with bump.
Anunt Martha ratified over this unexpected
effort on Mr. Schwartz part that she upset her coffee
and Ikey got most OF it in the back of the neck
When peace was finally restored the old lady came
the surface with envelope which had been lying
on the table near her plate.
as this your letter, John?" she asked and then ar
ranging her glasses read with great deliberaon: "Mr
]. Schwartz, Tango Teacher care of Kumeary and
Staylates' Cabaret, New York"
Peaches and Alice went into the ice business right
away quick.
Aunt Martha, in panied surprise, looked at me and
then at Bunch, and finally focused steady beam of
interrogation upon the oountenance of Mr.. Schwartz
1key whimpered-
Then Bunch took the letter from the open-eyed
Aunt Martha and leaped to the rescue, while came
out of the trance slowly.
"Its too bad Mr.. Schwartz forgot his ear trumpet
Bunch said quickly, and Ikey was wise to the tip in
minute.
Peaches shifted suspiciously and knew she had
the gloves
"Mr. Schwartz affection is terrible" she said with
chill in every word How did you converse with
him before arrval?"
"Oh. he understands the lip language and esn talk
back his fingers" l hastened to explain looking
hard at key whose maskke face gave no token that
he knew what going
Il thought / understood you TO say Mr.. Schwartz
is real estate dealer Peaches continued while the
thermometer went lower and lower
so he is replied.
Then why does his correspondent address him
as tango teacher friend wife said slowly. and could
hear the cebergs grinding each other all around me-
Il think | can explain that" Bunch put in Quietly
Then with the utmost deberation he looked Tkev in
the eye and said: "Mr. Schwartz it's really none Of
my business but would you mind telling me whv vor
real estate dealer. should have letter in your pos
session which is addressed you as tango :eachero
Answer your fingers"
key delivered the goods
In a minute he had both paws working overtime
and such knucke twisting no mortal man ever in
duged in before.
He says" Bunch began to interpret Shat the let
ter is not his. 1t is intended for Isadorc Schwartz
wicked cousin OF his who is a victim OF the cabaret
habit. Mr. Schwartz is complaining bitterly with
his fingers because his letters and those intended for
his renegade cousin become mixed almost every dav
These mistakes made because the initials arc ide-
teal He says also that he-hopes- s-thc-pre.ence-of
this-particular- -n-hS-p -possession-does-rot
-ofend-the -the-lades-because-wh -while-it is addressed-
to-a-tango- Observation-Disclosures HARM
less-bcing- -but-a-small-bill- the dentist
keys fingers kept working nervously as though
nc felt his duty them out and the perspira-
tion rolled off poor Bunchs forehead
Tell him to firing l said to Bunch; Hell
spran his fingers and thus lose his voice"
lkey doubled up his eight fingers and two thumb,
in one final shout and subsidized
I'm afraid we'll miss the Sis train If We don,
hurry, said Peaches and | could that the storm
over, although she still glanced suspicously at
poor Ikey.
And Bunch, YOU and John can come home with us
now, can't YOU Alice asked as they started to float
for the door,
Then 1key cut in as we started to follow the fam
take it from little key I'll have to charge YOU 500
for the sudden attack of deafness; then there's $40
for hardships sustained by by finger joints while con-
versing. The of the hundred iron men I'm going
TO keep souvenir OF two good-natured ginks who
wouldn't know what to do with a tango if thev had
one"
As we pulled out of the mayonnase looked back
at Ikey to thank him with farewell nod.
He was half way under the table holding both
hands to his sides and making funny faces at the
carpet.