The Washington herald., 1914-06-03
Statesmen, Real and Near.
BY FRED c. KELLY.

| BY FRED C. KELLY
J Vice President Marshall has a habit
OF telling funny story at the eleventh
hour. In fact, he usually waits until
the eleventh hour and about fifty-five
minutes.
The consequence Is that when he en-
ters the Senate Chamber to convene that
body Of solemn toilers. he Is apt to have
half-suppressed little smile on his
face, and the Rev. Forest J. Prettyman.
the Senate chaplain. has even more
difficulty In maintaining the serious
countenance OF a man about to lead IN
prayer.
Here Is the way the thing works out:
Along about ll:30 Marshall shifts from
his office In the Senate Office Building
to his room In the Capitol. He lights
cigar and smokes as he receives any
callers that drop in. few minutes be-
fore the noon hour the callers thin out.
and the chaplain comes to be In readi-
ness to accompany the Vice President
into the Chamber. Now. for some unac-
countable reason, the presence Of the
chaplain makes Marshall think Of
funny story. At about five minutes prior
to the hour of opening the Senate he
starts to tell this story with calm de-
liberation.
The golden moments speed on their
way, and by the time Marshall has the
bal sic part Of his story outlined it lacks
only two minutes or less until Il o'clock.
All hands begin to grow nervous. and
the Sergeant-at-Arms comes to the door.
watch in hand. to make certain that the
V. p. Is going to reach his seat in due
season. 1t would not do at all to have
the Senate open a minute late.
Marshall gets up from his desk and
proceeds across the corridor. still work
ing toward the point to his story. and
by burst of speed gets out the climax
Just as he pushes open the door into
the Senate Chamber. Chaplain Pretty
man has his choice then of not laugh
ing at the story, which would perhaps
be impolite on his part, or Of laughing
and then pulling his face back into
shape ready to offer prayer while walk
ing the few steps from the door to the
rostrum.
II think" said Prettyman one morn !
ing. after a particularly amusing little
yarn by Marshall. that after this I'll
keep out of your way and just study
the weather map out in the next room
until time to go in
Frank Douglas Scott. president pro tenn
of the Michigan state senate. is one of
the really able men of that State. be-
sides being a person of engaging per-
sonaIity and much plausibility. He is
gifted orator and the minute he believes |
anything he can't rest until he has every |
body about him believing II. As rule /
he can succeed at this. too. If he hap |
pened to believe. for example. that the |
world is fat. he would discuss the propo- !
sition so earnestly that all his friends !
would soon discard the theory that it is |
round as pure bunk. Just now Scott is |
running for Congress up in one Of the |
Michigan districts. and IL he |
breaks into Washington he will have |
great sport in this town. II will be dull !
day when he doesn't get up in the House |
and convince somebody OF something.
Be that as IL may. when Scott was just .
getting started as a young lawyer a few ,
years ago. one OF his first clients was
promising young burglar. who was trying .
to dodge his first trip to the peniten-
tiary.
Scott knew that the fellow was guilty
and wanted him to throw himself on the
mercy of the court and perhaps get a
light sentence. But the burglar was eX-
tremely reluctant to do 50. He had
great prejudice against entering prison.
So it was necessary for Scott to minimize
why" declared Scott. earnestly two
or three years in the penitentiary
wouldn't be half bad II you just made up
your mind to like II. The regular hours
ought to be a great thing for a man. and
II you are at all slick. you can fix up
some scheme TO get out of hard work
When you're in a good penitentiary you're
clear out of the prosaic business affairs
Of the outer world. Labor strikes and
the high cost OF living do not bother you
At night you can go to bed knowing just
what you are going to do the next day.
and you can do so, too, with a sense Of ,
security. You know that nobody can
get in where you are TO molest You. ,
The chances are that il you plead guilty
you won't get more than a couple Of .
years. and that will just give you time
10 learn some good trade. Now l don't
want to influence you in any way. but
I looks to me like a great opportunity
Tor YOU
Tho prisoner was thoughtful for some i
moments after listening to this picture r
II tho delights of prison life. and seemed
about half convinced that his attorney v
was right. But finally he looked up
Sith p dubious shake of his head and t
;aid a
1t may be all right. 1t may he nice I
here. just like YOU say. But from the
imc was a little kid I've never thought
would like II in a penitentiary hardly L
my"
Copyright. 1914. hy Fred G Kelly Al rights
reserTedl