The Holly chieftain., 1914-01-23
KELLIH6ER'S !rSOMHlA
BY DOROTHY DUNN.


kellinser couldn't sleep. All his life
he had been bothered that way. For
no reason whatever sleep would sud.
denly desert him and when it aban.
doned Kellinger it abandoned the rest
Of the family, meaning Mrs. kellingeI
and the bulldog.
When Mrs. kellinger would an.
nounce sadly to their acquaintances
that Tom had begun waking up at
one O'clock and staying awake till six
or not going to sleep at all until half.
past-three it was exactly as tragic az
though she Was breaking the news
that be had fallen d victim to the
suicide habit or had begun numbering
people again after short vacation.
Those 10 whom she spoke always had
an uneasy feeling that they ought to
send flowers or something.
kellinger absolutely refused to 60
to the doctor about ii. He said the
physician would merely ask him if he
had embezZled any trust funds or had
anything else on his conscience, and
would appear annoyed because ne
hadn't.
It's Just nerves" Kellnger would
say in martyred tones. Il wake up
and then / begin thinking and | cant
stop. ! worry about what would hap
pen if ten years from now long. hard
winter should set III and didn't have
any work. Then there is Uncle Dave.
who has Just invested all his money III
gold mine. and what if he should
lose ii! And think of the sufierings
of the people over there in the Bal
kan regions during this cruel war"
IF Tom didn't have such an absurd.
ly tender heart Mrs. kelinger
would sigh proudly
That is, she sighed proudly till the
sleepless streak had continued for
some time, and then she grew poevish
from lack of slumbcr. At first she
would read aloud to Kelinger or
would arise and. descending to the
kitchen, would cOncoct unhOly two
O'Clock lunches of fried egg sand.
wiches to lull him to sleep. Later on
she took to making remonstrances.
Following these heart to heart talks,
keilinger gave up coffee and cigars
and once in a while managed to sleep
the night through, but more often he
didn't
IF you were twins. now" Mrs. Kel.
linger murmured reproachfully one
night aI three o'clock at Kellinger,
who sat propped up socially against
the bedpost with the reading light on
full blast. Il suppose shouldn't mind
being awake like this. I'd expect it
But | don't mind telling you secretly
that I'm (yawn) getting aw-aw (yawn)
fully tired of it. I'm just dead for
Sleep"
Are you sleepy. dear?' Kellinger
asked, in hurt tones. What wouldn't
| give to feel that way"
Whereupon Mrs. Kellinger felt
ashamed of her desire to sleep and
read aloud from The Theory of Hot
Water Heating" until she toppled
over, sound asleep.
kellinger really suffered He said
if it kept up much longer he would
20 crazy, he knew. All the Ke,lingers
friends were intensely interested in
the situation. BY their advice Kel
linger drank hot milk before retiring
drank cold milk. put a hot water bag
under his head and then an ice bag
stood on his head and walked on his
hands, breathed in six times and out
six times, crossed his fingers ano
counted jumping sheep.
When they were out in the even.
ing Mrs. kellinger had the habit OF
watching her husband nerrously. ano
If his eyelid twitched she would graf
the person next to her and mean:
Tom is going to have another sleep
less night" she would say. He is
getting the blinks, Poor man! J