Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-03-14

Hanks felt around and found his boss
and united n and backed II out, and
then felt around and found Matilda
and helped her into the ve-hick.el She
sot down and joIted herself up and
down once or twice and says she:
Mr. Hanks, pears TO me that
there's something out o. whack with
this here buggy"
"Oh, no." says Hanks, who BY this
time was in himself and had started
the boss. ITS all right-little uphill
here, that's ALL"
Matilda still thought things wasn't
all o. K, and said she reckoned she'd
have to tie a weight to her feet, to
keep from falling out backards.
Just you stay calm" says Hanks.
We're going up old Sptnner's hill
must be most to the top" and he let
the boss jog along slow to rest It occa-
sionally, cause he seen It was hard
pull. SO they poked along. and Hank
said he reckoned he'd have to get out
and walk II the hill got much sleeper.
When they did happen to strike lit
tie hill they both had to lean for'ards
and hang onto the dashboard to keep
from rolling out behind. And every
few minutes stopping to let the boss
rest.
By-andby Matilda begun to get
spunky, and says sire:
I've been over this here road be
fore. and l don't remember no
such awful hang.on-and-last-forever
hill"
oh, that's all right" says Hanks,
now we're goin' up the Gristmill
hill"
But where was the boiler betwixt
Spinner hill and the Gristmill hil?"
inquired Matilda.
Only way can figure 1t out is that
the road commissioners must affixed
1t up and made one long hill Of It,"
says Hanks. Cant tell what a road
commissioner will do, you know"
So they poked along another half
hour, saying nothing. Then says
Hanks:
Matilda, this does seem to be a
some considerable right smart bit OF
an eminence. | don't altogether faith
ON the mystery of it." Then after
some more hard climbing, with boss
resting frequently, says Hanks: Bet
dollar n half we're on the wrong
road. Reckon we might bear on to the
left"
SO they beared on-still uphill
Then they beared on to the right
more hill. Then they jagged In all d.
rections--still up'ards. like the Excel
sior Teller. Then after going for a
mile n q half straight up a big hill
they started back-just as steep.
We'll, hang me-" says Hanks, this
beats the Rocky mountains and the
Him Layers rolled. into one! Wen set
out OF 1t II 1t kills the hoss!" and
he hit the animal q crack with the
whip and went tearing along like a
passenger train, them both freezing
to the dashboard for dear life. And
bout the time they'd travelled Ave
miles in miscellaneous directions, the
boss on a dead run, 1t begun to get
some light, and they seen them there
unnatural hind wheels looming up
each side Of EN-. and Hanks just sort
o. sunk back into a stopper. But Ma
tilta didn't take to the stopper notion
at all, and rize up and says she:
stop that boss, you audacious VII
laini Haul me around all night in such
a hgh-shouldered rig as this, will you.
and talk to me bout goin' up the side
of Mung Blung mountain! Lemme
out!" and she hoped over the wheel
and struck out for home, which she
reached about sun.up. And a little
later Hanks drove into town, with the
wheels still the same, him not know
ing how TO fix EN-; and by a strange
me and a passed. of
some 20 or 80 others which had been
to the dance happened to be on the
corner when he went past. l felt we
ought to be cheerful and neighborly
to him, he having come into our
midst a stranger for his health, so
sings out:
Good morning, Mr.. Hanks! Been
out to the hop tripping the bumbas-
tic, hey? Say. what you want to do
Is to trade that boss for a giraffe and
have something to match your We
hick-el"
And the next dance Matilda went
with me.