The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1914-01-16
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
DEACON AND the oxen
BY M. QUAD.

BY M. QUAD.
Deacon Shortwell and the Widow
Harris. whose farms adjoined. were
not exactly engaged to be married
when a certain April morning was
ushered in with the songs of happy
robins and the squeals of hungry
pigs, but they had been leaning that
way" for the last year. They had
been widow and widower for upwards
of three years. For year or more
the deacon had been in the habit OF
dropping in two or three times a
week and exhibiting something more
than neighborly interest, and it was
noticeable that the widow used bit
more hair dye than formerly, and was
more solicitCus about the freckles on
her face. The neighbors had it that
the thing was all settled, but they
were a little too previous. The dea-
con was a man who never bought a
COW, signed note, traded off horse
or got a new pump for the well with
out careful deliberation, and on her
part the widow was willing to wait
and study him bit.
Therefore, while there was tacit
and mutual understanding that in due
time the deacon would boss both
farms and the widow to boot, and that
she would darn his socks and make
his bread in a housewifely way, he
hadn't asked her straight from the
shoulder if she would be his.
On that certain April morning re-
ferred to as a date to start from, the
deacon dropped in to borrow a hoe,
and the widow incidentally observed
that her garden ought to be plowed.
He agreed, but as his team of horses
was busy, and as the widows hired
man was preparing a field for corn
with her own, he decided to go over
and borrow neighbor Johnson's yoke
of oxen to do the work. Farmer John
son was willing to. lend his oxen, his
plow or anything else around the farm
that was portable, but before yoking
the bovines up he rather cautiously
observed:
Deacon, i don't remember that you
ever owned yoke of oxen yourself"
mo. never have" was the reply.
And mebbe you never used any
body else's to plow with?"
Il can't say that 1 ever did"
"Wall, oxen amt exactly like horses,
you know-not exactly. They some
times get streaky and act up, and
you've got to humor 'em. Coaxin'
will sometimes do the bizness, and
then, again, you'll have to put on the
CAD. If you was only in the habit OF
usin' a few cuss words I'd feel purity
sure you would come out all right,
but mebbe you will, anyhow. Well
yoke 'em up and start you off in no
time"
1t was only half mile from Far
mer Johnsons to the Widow Harris,
but the deacon was a long time in
making the trip back with the oxen,
and he arrived with the look of
man who had been in trouble. The
widow noticed his perturbation and
solicitously inquired:
Did you stub your toe or lose your
hat or anything?"
"Of course not. What makes you
ask"
Because you look so fustered.
Mebbe you are going to break out
with the hives. If l was you l would
take the plowing kind O. easy"
The deacon muttered some reply
under his breath and after a brief
rest the work Of plowing the garden
began That is, he thought it had, but
he was mistaken. The plow point had
scarcely entered the rich soil of the
old tomato bed when the oxen turned
to the left with a rush and would have
gone clear across the garden had they
not been stopped by "a plum tree.
by hen, but did anybody ever see
the likes of that" exclaimed the dea-
con. as he held on to the plow ham
dies and followed along on the jump
What's the matter, deacon?" asked
the widow, from the open kitchen win
dow.
"Nuthin'-nuthin' TALL" was the re-
ply The oxen jest come over here
to see whether this was a peach or a
plum tree"
"Oh they did, eh? Pear to be
pretty smart yoke of oxen"
Farmer Johnson had said that coax
ing would sometimes do the business,
and Deacon Shortwell proceeded to
coax After he had made use of about
5.031 OF the most honeyed words in
the English language he got the oxen
back to the starting point and then
plowed a furrow almost ten feet long
before making their next rush. This
time they turned to the right and fed
over the spot where cucumbers used
to grow and brought up against the
fence with bang.
Nov, by gum. but what they need
Is to have their horns knocked off
with n club" muttered the deacon.
Hey. but was that thunder?" asked
the widow. as she thrust her head out
again
81 didn't hear no thunder" the plow-
man replied, knowing that she re-
ferred to the crash against the fence.
"We1l. this is the month for thun-
der storms, and didn't know but one
was coming up. What are the oxen
doing over there?"
Looking over the fence"