The Harrison times., 1914-09-12
The New Fable Of the Night Given
n,,er 20 CareIese ReveITv

teTJdlu tuuOMSu institution loi ph"
ping and polishing Highbrows had to
close in once Year for a Banquet.
They called it q Banquet Because 1t
would have been a Joke to call 1t a
Dinner.
The Invitations looked like real
Type-Writing and called upon all Loyal
Sons of Old Bohunkus to dig up 3
Sesterces and get ready for Big
Night.
To insure a Riot Of spontaneous
Gaiety the following Organization was
effected
Committee on Invitation.
Committee on Reception.
Committee on Lights and Music.
Committee on Speakers.
Committee on Decorations.
Committee on Police protection.
Committee on First Aid to Injured,
Committee on Maynew
Committee on Liquid Nourlshment.
Each Committee held numerous
Meetings, at the Call of the Chairman,
and discussed the impending Festiyi-
ties with that solemn regard for piflling
Detail which marked the Peace Con-
ference at the Hague,
The Frollc was to be perpetrated at
q Hotel famous for the number OF Elec
trio Lights,
The Hour was to be $3.50 Sharp, so
that by GAS four old Grads, with va.
riegated Belshazzars, were massed to-
gether in the Egyptian Room trying to
fix the Date on which DR.. Milos Lobs.
quosset became Emeritus Professor OF
Saraconic Phlobotomy,
Along about 1880 u subcommittee
wearing Satin Badges was sent down
stairs to round up some recent Alumni
who were trying to get running
Start and 7:45 a second Detachment
was sent out to find the Rescue Party,
Finally at s o'clock the glad Throng
moved into the Main Banquet Hall,
which was a snug Apartment about the
size Of the Mammoth Cave OF Ken.
lucky, done In Gold and various shades
OF Pink, to approximate the Chamber
maids Dream Of Paradise The style
Of Ornamentation was that which pre-,
clpitated the French Revolution,
Beside each Plato was blonde De,
cootion named in honor Of the Martini
Rife, which IL guaranteed TO kill at n
Distance Of 1000 Yards. The com.
pounding had been done In Churn
early that morning and the Tempera.
ture was that Of the Room, in com.
pliance with the Dictates Of Fashion,
Those who partook Of tho llemLock
were given Courage to battle with the
Oysters These camo In SeXtettes,
wearing q slight ptomine pallor On
the Goth Proxlmo they had said good
bye TO their Friends IN Baltimore and
for Hours they had been lying naked
and ohoked with thirst In their little
Canoes and now they were to enter the
great Unknown, further sacrifices to
tho Votaries Of Pleasure,
Luckily the Consommo was not hot
enough to scald the Thumbs Of tho
joylal StoyedoroB who had been brought
in as Extras, 40 the Feast proceeded
merrlly, many Of the Participants dc,
voting their spare Moments 20 bobbIng
for Olives or pulling the Twino out Of
tho Celery,
Tho Fish had French name, hay.
Ing beon In tho Cold Storage Bastlo
for 80 long Each Portion wore q heavy
Suit Of Armor, was surrounded by III,
brOry Paste and served Os u Too for
two Golf BOlls billed 40 pommes do
Torre,
II was n regular banquet no thoro
was no getting away from Fllot do
hin aux Champlgnons II was brought
on merely to show what an American
Cook with u LumborCN Camp Training
could do to plain slice OF Steer after
reading Book written by Chof
Next, In accordance with honorcd
Tradition, holfmoltod SNOWFALL Inn
pregnatod with Eau do Qunino,
Just about the time that the White
Vinegar gave way TO tho Aniline Dye,
nut.headed swos7le, who could got
into Mattoawan without Credentials,
moved down the Limo Of Distinguished
Guests asking for Autographs Ills
Example was followed by l50 other
6hropehlrea, no that for the next 30
Minutes the Festal Chamber reBembled
tho Auditing Department Of large
Mercantile Establishment
During this Period tho Department
VI Geology In the University was hon
orod by the appearance Of u genuine
potrIned Quail And tho Head Lettuce
carried the Personal Guarantee Of the
Goodyear Rubber Co.
notwoon the Rainbow lee Cream and
tho CalcMooua Fromage, n member Of
Che class Of 0S who could not Sing
arose and did 30,
Then each guest had 10 take n
Tablespoonful Of cafe Nolr and two
Cigars noloetod by Farmer student
who had promised His Mother never 10