davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07
MOTHERS DAY
SET FOR SUNDAY
Governor RalstOn Calls Attention tO
Her Work for Humanity in
Proclamation.

To the News-Times
INDIANAPOLIS, May Z. - The
governor Wednesday issued a procla-
nation, designating Monday, May 10,
as Mothers day in Indiana. The
proclamation, IN full follows:
mo man can approximate his in
debtedness to his mother. She makes
sacrifices for him that none other
would make. Her loyalty to him Is
past understanding. She is the an
Choir to which he clings when the
storms of life dash him against the
rocks of misfortune.
But more than he have an inter
est in her. The public loves and
honors her. Without her faith
there would be no church; without
her patriotism, no state, and without
her influence. no organized society.
She is the dominant factor of the
home and is the strength of the ma r.
ton. Her love is the philosophy that
shapes the destiny of man.
Nov therefore, |, Samuel NJ.
Ralston, as governor of Indiana, des-
ignate Sunday, May 10, 1914. as
Mothers day and l request every
citizen of the state TO observe this
day in some appropriate way in hon
or of his mother.
In testimony whereof, I hereuntO
set my hand and caused to be affixed
the great seal of the state OF Indiana
at the epitol, city Of indianapolis.
SAMUEL NJ RALSTON,
Governor"
1t has been the custom formerly
for the celebration of Mothers day in
Indiana TO take the form OF white
carnation. worn in the buttonhole.
Gov. Marshall issued Mothers day
proclamations every year that he was
in Office.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07
Church Affairs

Mrs. Francis Whitmer of Haney av.
entertained the Ladies Aid society of
the First Brethren church at an all
day meeting Wednesday. The morn
ing was spent with needlework and
the afternoon was devoted to the reg
ular program. The leader of the aft
ernoOn was Mrs. Elmer Ulbricht.
Missionary readings and talks were
given by Mrs. r. Schriver. Mrs. Grace
Obenchain and Mrs. Carpenter. a
delicious dinner was served at noon.
The Ladies Aid society held it's
monthly business meeting Wednesday
afternoon at the home of Mrs. John
Award, S11 Cushing st. only rou-
tine business was transacted. The
June meeting will he held at the home
Of Mrs. r. +. Thompson, SCI Forest
av.
Fifteen members attended the meet
ing of the Ladies' Aid society of
Grace Evangelical church wednesday
afternoon at the home of Mrs. ID. d.
Speicher, 1913 Blaine aV. Following
the regular business session a social
time was enjoyed curing which the
hostess served light refreshments
The society will meet in June at the
home Of Mrs L. y. Miller, cor. Van
Buren, and Allen SITS.
The Ladies' Aid society Of Trinity
Presbyterian church was entertained
Tuesday afternoon at the home Of
Mrs Mary r. Gibson, SO7 y. Main St
Following the regular business session
a social time was enjoyed and refresh
ments were served by the hostess as
sisted by Mrs Joseph Chambers. Mrs.
Warren Farrell and Mrs. John Fehl.
The society will meet in the church
parlOrs in June.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07
Social Clubs

Members o. the Cosy Corner circle
we're guests at their fortnightly Thin
BILE Wednesday afternoon at the home
of Mrs. James Collard. 721 \. Afichi-
gan st The hostess served dainty re-
freshments AT the close OF the after
noon. In two weeks the club will
meet with Mrs. Frank Tritt, 1898
kembie av.
The Congenial club was entertained
Wednesday afternoon at the home of
Mrs Clifford Piper. 1914 Golden av.
me afternoon was spent with needle
work and refreshments were served.
In two weeks Mrs. William FTepan,
4S5 Allen St. will entertain the club.
Mrs. Edgar Nevins. F. Madison st.
entertained the / Go You Go club
Wednesday afternoon at its fortnight
~ meeting. The afternoon was spent
knotting comforters and with con-
tests. Mrs. Harry Garlanger received
the favor. Dinner was served at ,
o'clock at a table attractively arrang-
ed with spring flowers.
Members OF the Wednesday After
noon Pedro club were guests Wednes-
day afternoon at the home of Mrs.
Jacob Curry Of Nistula av. The fav-
ors at cards were won by Mrs Rich
ard Munich. Mrs. G. II. Neis and Mrs
Charles Decker After the games the
hostess served light refreshments In
two weeks the club will meet at the
home OF Mrs. Maud Nickel. 1l19 S
Lafayette 81.
The Impromptu club met at the
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07
FIRST M. E. CHURCH
WILL HAVE NEW F0UNT
Mrs. y. VI. Studebaker. ST.. Presents
Marble Piece Secured From
Sierra, Italy.

In memory of her mother. Mrs. Re
beCca Stull, one OF the founders OF
the First Methodist sunday school in
South Bend. Mrs. J. Nj. Stude-
baker sr., VIII install a baptismal
fOunt in the new First Methodist
Episcopal church on y. Main st. The
fountain arrived Wednesday from
New York ard will be taken to the
church today IL was taken originally
from an old church in Sierra. Italy,
and is OF the rarest Italian marble
over 100 years old.
Mrs. Stull in whose memory IL is
to be installed in the church, was a
great worker in the First Methodist
church over 90 years ago
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07
OUTING PLANNED BY LODGE
Fidelity Camp and Live Oak Grove
to Go to Chain Lakes.

A picnic will be enoyed by Fidelity
camp No. IS and Live Oak grove No.
1. w. q. w. at Chain lakes. Sunday,
May II. Arrangements have been
completed by both lodges and they
will probably charter private car TO
take care OF the large number eX-
pected 10 attend. Indoor base ball
and other games will be played.
Two applications were received and
one balloted upon at the regular
meeting OF the grove Wednesday
night at W. q. ". hall. Refresh
ments were served at the close Of the
meeting.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07
Hear REPORT or DELEGATE.

The Pythian Sisters held their reg
ular meeting Wednesday evening in
Pythian hall and received 10 appli-
cations. Mrs Emma Weaver dele
gates TO the recent district convention
in Bourbon. Ind. gave her report.
Thirty-fiVe membe attended In
two weeks the society will initiate a
class OF 5 and in one week Mrs. Ada
Yerrick. Mrs. Anna Steed and Mrs.
2. +. Wolter will entertain the
Pythian tea in the hall.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07

home of Mrs T. A. Freeman. 1910
Woodward av, Wednesday evening.
Following the routine business Mrs.
+. II. Goodman read an interesting
paper on THE Origin and Develop
ment of Mans Belief Concerning
God" The next meeting Will be held
at the Progress club rooms on May Is,
when Rev. G. A. Lippincott pastor of
the First Presbyterian church will
discuss What Is Religion"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07

The Indiana Avenue church will
hold a rubber social. For every
three pairs of rubbers a free dish OF
ice cream and cake will be served.
Otherwise Ice cream and cake 10c.
Adv
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07
RIG PURCHASE FLOWERS.

Ellsworths Millinary Department
offers a big lot of beautiful flowers
at the Sale Saturday result of a
special purchase. Splendid oppOr-
tunity 10 freshen up your hat for a
small outlay.
THE ELLSWORTH STORE.
AdV1-
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07
TRY NEWS-TIMES WANT ADS
THE JOY OF DANG NG EXERCISE

Very few women or men seem to care to
Tango or get Dancing Exercise unless they
that Aliens Foot Ease the antiseptic pow
der 10 be shaken into the shoes, always
gives. Since the tendency TO hold Dancing
parties has become almost q daily and
hourly necessity In every community. the
sale OF Aliens FOOt-Ease, so the Drug
gists report has reached the high water
mark Sold Everywhere 25c. Trial pack
age FREE. Address Allen s. Olmsted.
lie Roy. y. Y.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07
NOTICE.

The Indiana Free En- ployment Of
fee has moved from Room No. .,
Toepp Building, to the Old Court
House. Entrance on Court St.
AdVt. Frank j Murphy Supt.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07
ELLSWORTH'S ADVICE WATCH
Fiji WAITING"

Watch our windows wait for the
big hat sale 10 be pulled on mere
Saturday-Eight Hundreds Trimmed
Hats at a price worth Watchful walt
ing for.
THE ELLSWORTH STORE.
AdVt-
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07

We clean all kinds OF hats. Work
guaranteed. Interurban Shine Parlor,
next door to Kable's. AdVt.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07
- DIR. THOMPSON'S
o. EYE TALKS
(TALK No. 1881
Headaches
(TALK No. 1881

There is no doubt that more than
half the cases OF chronic headache in
the world can be cured with glasses.
Statistics say sixty percent. l do not
mean that they can be cured by put
ting on just any kind of glasses
glasses that have been carelessly or
incorrectly fitted. The fact that you
have tried glasses. or even that you
are wearing glasses now, and still
have headaches does not signify that
glasses will not cure you. The glasses
must be RIGHT. The focus of each
lens must be absolutely correct. IL
you have astigmatism the axis of the
cylinder must not vary even FIVE de-
grees. IL there is a difference in your
two eyes that difference must be fig
ured out 10 the smallest fraction and
the eyes placed in perfect harmony.
There must not be the slightest dis
turbance in the adjustments OF the
delicate muscles that control the ac-
ton Of vision. IL Is those disturb
ances in harmony and adjustment
that cause nerve strain and head
ache. III YOU have headaches I shall
be glad &C the opportunity 10 tell you
honestly whether 1 can give you re-
lief. I will not sell you a pair OF
glasses under any circumstances If
you do not need them.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07
BIRTHS.

Born to Mr.. and Mrs Michael Sab
erniak. 726 LapOrte av., a daughter,
May I,
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07
LL..,,,k&-
Ln~,,k&w

The Stock Reducing Sale-Two
more days Of this Money Saving Oppor-
tunity.
Friday and Saturday are the final
days Of this Big Sale.
Bargains in Every Department-Evey
Department. Spring Stocks plus New
Summer Goods at Low Prices. We're
Reducing Stocks and Selling New Goods
which we secured from Manufactures and
Jobbers at Stock Reducing Prices -We
Bought for Cash and Bong hit Low.
Friday and Saturday-but Two More
Days-Best Come Early In the Day.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07
DR.. H. A. THOMSON

sol South Michigan st.
Southwest Corner Wayne and Mich
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1914-05-07

The Impromptu club met at the
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1914-10-11
California and The World Provide the Exposition
A WORD ABOUT THESE TRIPS.

These free trips are provided by the Panama Pacific
Exposition Tours Co., and in addition to frst-clasS
round trip standard Pullman sleeper include admission
to the Exposition admission to the special attractions
inside the grounds, side trips to Oakland, Sacramento
the state capital the great navy yard at Mares Isand
trip around the bay by steamer through the Neither
lands of California up to the mouth of the great San
Joaquin river and trip to the beautiful Sacramento
river, passing Richmond Port Costa Sansato and San
Quentin trip to Mt Tamapais, over the crookedest
railroad in America, besides the thousands of beautiful
sights going and coming The Royal Gorge Garden of
the Gods, Pixies Peak the Collegiate Range the train
reaching altitude of 10000 feet the
clad mountains crossing the great salt lake of Utah.
viewing the great Mormon temple, through the great
snow Sheds blue canyon, thence dropping down into
the beautiful Sacramento Valley to the wonderful view
of the Golden Gate
Space forbids telling you one-haf the wonders Of
the trip that to be yours Free but postal card request
to the committee at San Francisco will bring you book
let describing many of the wonderful sights
DO YOU WANT TO GO?
Let the contest editor know at once. Send your
name and address to The Ardmoreite.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1914-10-11
DO YOU WANT TO GO?
RULES GOVERNING T.

RULE 1.-The merchants shall issue votes as ps
following schedule, excepting may hereafter be al
nounced
100 for $1.00 on cash sales
300 for S1.O0 payment of old accounts.
300 for $1.00 on trade books Sold
200 for S1.OO on bargain or clearance sales.
And votes will be given on old accounts, they ma
be issued only for the payment of accounts that wei
incurred prior to this date Votes will not be given
new accounts charged unless this particular account
paid within thirty days, then votes may be issued.
RULE 2.-Votes will be issued with time limit al
must be cast in the ballot box, provided for that pu
pose before the expiration of the time limit Befo'
casting votes, make a record for your own guidanc
In order to facilitate voting you requested to pla
your votes in envelope and seal it. Please write
the outside the number of votes the envelope contain
and the name of the candidate you desire to vote for
RULE 9.-Employes, clerks and relatives of tn
merchants and newspapers, also schools, churches an
secret organizations cannot participate candidate
RULE 4-Merchants shall in no instance issue vot
until such votes have been properly stamped with the
firm name. Customers should refuse them otherwis
RULE 5.-The soliciting of votes in the merchant
stores, in front of store or on premises is prohbits
RULE GA vote that is scratched or marked
any manner after it leaves the merchants hands, W,
be thrown out, providing the defacing should appea
that figure has been tampered with.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1914-10-11

RULE 1.-The merchants shall issue votes as E
following schedule, excepting may hereafter be al
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-02-12
Might Not Be Alive.

McMinn,ille, Tenn. - Mrs. Oci,
Jett, Of this place, writes: 81 DOM
believe / would be living to-day, if il
hadn't been for Cardui. lay in BED
81 days, and the doctor came every
day, but he did me no good. Finally
he advised an operation, but / would
not consent, and instead took Car.
dui Now am going about the house,
doing my work, and even do my
washing. Cardui worked wonders
in my case. am in better health
than foryears." Cardui is a strength.
ening tonic for women. 1t relieves
pain, tones up the nerves, builds
strength. Try it. At your druggist,
Advertisement.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-02-12
Jealousy Causes Tragedy.

Hazel Herdman, aged 20, at New
ark, N. ] , mistress of Chas. =.
Manning, took a fatal dose of poison
after confessing that she was the
yelled woman who shot and killed
Manning's wife the night before,
Mrs. Manning's refusal to grant her
husband divorce was the cause.
The girl eft a child by Manning and
in a note asked him to care for it.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-02-12
THE THRlCE-A-WEEK EDITION
OF THE NEW YORK WORLD
Practically a Daily at the Price
of a Weekly. No other News
paper in the world gives so
so much at so low a price.

This is a time Of great events, and
you will want the news accurately
and promptly. All the countries Of
the world steadily draw closer to-
gether, and the telegraph Mwires
bring the happenings Of every one.
No other newspaper has a service
equal to that of The World and "
relates everything fully and prompt
ly.
The World long since established o
record for impartiality, and any
body can afford its Thrice-a-Wee
edition. which comes every other
day in the week, except Sunday. IL
will be Of particular value to you
now. The Thrice-a-Week World al
so sbounds in other strong features.
serial stories, humor, markets, car
toons; in fact. everything that it to
be found in first class daily.
The THRICE-A-WEEK WORLDS
regular subscription price is only
$1.00 per year. and this pays for
l56 papers. We'offer this unequalled
newspaper and Hopkinsville Ken
tuckian together. forsone year for
$2.65.
The regular subscription price Of
the two papers is $500.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-02-12

years subscription to the Kentuck.
Ian, both for $500. Thisis the price
Of twelve months subscription to
"Lippincott's" alone. Additional to
obtaining every issue of this spaper
for a year. our readers will receive
In "Lippincott's." IL great complete
novels by popular authors, los short
stories. crisp, entertaining. original;
IS timely articles from the pens Of
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-02-12
The King of All LaxatiVeS

For constipation, use DR.. Kings
New Life Pills. Paul Mathulka, OF
Buffalo, N. Y, says they are the
king of all laxatives. They are a
blessing to all my family al d always
keep box at home"
Get box and get well again. Price
Csc. At Druggists or by mail.
H. E. Bucklen & Co. Philadelphia or
st. Observation-Disclosures.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-02-12
Limited TEMPERANCE,
J c. HOOE. Agt.

The first temperance society was
formed in New England and its pledge
read: 1--WE, the undersigned, believing
in the evil effect of strong drink, do
hereby pledge ourselves on our sacred
honor that we will not get drunk more
than four times a year-Muster day,
Fourth Of July, Thanksgiving and
Christmas"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-02-12

masters, and each month some ex.
cellent poems with the right senti.
ment. and "Walnuts and Wine,''
the most popular humor section in
America. To obtain this extraordin
airy offer prompt action is necessary.
Remit to ]. B. Lippincott Company
Washington Square. Phils.. Pa.
Advertisement.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-02-12
Unusual Offer To Our Readers.

For a limited time, and subject to
withdrawal after 80 days. the well
known publishing house Of the J. b.
Lippincott Company. Philadelphia.
founded in 1892. offers to the readers
of this paper IL months subscrip-
ton to "Lippincott's Magazine" and
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-02-12
To Clean Bottles,

Never use tacks or buckshot to
clean the inside Of bottles, Jugs and
pitchers, but the ground shell Of an
egg. salt and lemon or a little whitS
vinegar. A piece of raw potato soaA
ed in a carafe or any of the deep0E
pieces will help to make Frightening
q light task and cleaning still easiek
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-02-12
Children Cry
FOR FLETCHER'S ~
G a 9 TO RIA
Collecting a Crowd.

Collecting a Crowd.
IT don't know what to do to colioos
crowd" said the street salesman
my old methods are all getting too
familiar" Nothing is easier" 70
piled Mr.. Chuggins. "If you want -
collect a crowd simply pretend thae
your automobile is broken and thA4
you are going to try to hx It"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-02-12
|. & n
Time Card No. 143
Effective Sunday. Dec Z. 1913.

TRAINS GOING SOUTH.
No. &C. & ". o. Linn. 1855 o. m.
No. 5l--St. L. Express 5:35 q. m.
No. 99-DixiesLimited, 10:41 q. m.
No. 95--Dixie Flyer S:43 a. m.
No. 55-Hopkinsville Ar. 7:08. q. m.
No.s53-S'. l.. Fast Mail 5:33la. m.
No. 91-Evansville Ac. 1905 a. m. N
TRAINS GOING NORTH.
No. &C. & s.. L. Linn, 5:25 a. m
No. 52-St Louis Express, 9:5l a. m.
No. 9S-Dixie Limited, 1903 a. m.
No 94-Dixie Flyer, 1854 p. m.
No. 56-Hopkinsville Ac. 8:55 p. m.
No. 54-St. L. Fast Mail 1910 a. m.
No. 90 Evansville Ac. 4:15 y. m.
Nos. and 81 connect, 1at st. Louisi.for
ants west.
20. 81 connects TAT Guthrie for memphis and
'ints as far south aslErin. and for Louisville.
G ncinnati and the East.
Nos. So and IS make direct connections at Guth.
"a for Louisville. Cincinnati and all points north
md east thereof. NOS. So and So also connection
ssmnhis and wayipoints.
NO. % carries through sleepers to Atlanta. Ma.
81 jacksonville. St Augustine and, Tampa. Fla
Also pullman seepers to New .orleens Connects
at Guthrie for points East and West. No. 90 will
not Icarry local passengers for points north Of
sashville. Tenn.
J c. HOOE, Agt.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1914-02-12

Ham sacks at this office.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-04-11
YHIRTY.FIVE OTHER PASSENGERS
ON WABASH LIMITED INJURED
WHEN BRIDGE FALLS.
SWITCH ENGINE AS A TEST
Sent Across the Structure, and Rail.
road Officials Believed Il Safe.
Weakened by Freight Wreck
Earlier in the Day.

Attica, Ind.-Three persons were
killed and about thirty-five others in.
jured, some seriously, when Wabash
passenger train No. 4, known as the
Continental Limited, was wrecked
when the bridge over the Wabash
river just west of here gave way. The
engine, a baggage car and the day
coach dropped into the water.
When the cars left the bridge the
day coach, which was crowded, fell
with rear end out Of the water, and
though most Of the injured were in
this coach, none was killed. The car
hardly had settled in the water before
the work of rescuing the passengers
was commenced and in a few min.
utes all had been taken out. They
were taken to a hospital at Lafayette.
The bridge was weakened badly
when a freight train was wrecked on
the structure and the Continental Lin.
tied was stopped when it reached the
place. A switch engine a sent over
the bridge to test it. Railroad Off.
Gals believed it safe and the limited
was ordered to proceed.
The train crept out on the bridge
slowly and when about 100 feet out
the bridge gave way. The engineer
was crushed to death. The fireman
jumped, but was scalded to death, and
when the front end of the baggage
car 'toppled downward Thomas was
crushed beneath an avalanche o.
trunks.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-04-11
VALUABLE zoo SPECIMENS
Thirty Tons Of Geological 0biects
Shipped to America-WiN Be
Sent to Museum.

New York.-Thirty tons Of speci'
mems, the largest collection Of ZOO.
logical and chronological objects ever
gathered by a scientific expedition
from this country, is being borne from
the center of the coast of Africa on
it's way to the American Museum Of
Natural History In this city. Details
were given in a letter received at the
institution from James Chaplin, a mem.
Der of the expedition.
, Among the are specimens are sew.
eral skins of the okapi, an animal
which has characteristics of the zebra
and deer, and is exceedingly difficult
to capture. The scientists also OBJ
tanned a white r%hinocerous. The col
lections include 2,400 manuals, 1850
birds, 1900 reptiles and and from 49,
900 to $4,000 invertebrates.
The services of one thousand men
have been employed from time to time
in bringing them out Of the jungles.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-04-11
Drowsiness in Church.

Why bald heads nod in church, to
the great annoyance of ministers has
been discovered by Ralph Eyre of
Osceola, Iowa. a senior electrical engi-
neering student In the State univer'
sity. Mr. Eyre has found the scien-
tific basis for the fact that bald headed
men are prone to fall asleep in church
and he has found the remedy for this
fortunate fact. "A glaring light be-
fore the eyes is sure to produce drow-
siness." Mr.. Eyre reasoned. Men with
bald heads and negligible eyebrows
are less protected from glazing lights
than those blessed with abundant hair.
Women who wear hats that shade
their eyes have little difficulty keeping
awake. A little care in. placing lights
in a. church will have all the differ
ence in the world."-Exchange.
Lower coast gazette., 1914-04-11
AND IT WAS so ORDERED
lady's Suggestion Met All the Re.
quirements Of Mans Complaint,
as He Had Worded It.

A very large lady with a very large
hat was sitting in the theater directly
In front of a mild-mannered gentle.
man, who, for the greater part Of one
act, was unable to get a glimpse Of
the stage. At last, unable to endure
his enforced blindness any longer, he
bent forward and whispered:
Excuse me, madam, but would you
mind removing your hat"
why should l remove my hat?"
retorted the lady.
Because" protested the man, 81
can't see the stage, and l want to
laugh with the rest of the audience"
WELL" replied the lady, turning
away again, you watch my shoulders
and when laugh you laugh"