The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1914-04-27
Statesmen, Real and Near.
BY FRED C. KELLY.

Representative Thomas NJ Bell. Of
Georgia. received recently an appealing
letter from a horse breeder down IN his
district
My youngest boy has left US and
Joined the regular army" wrote the
horse breeder, "and now can't get him
out again. Can't you arrange some way
to get him out? He was a particularly
good boy in many respects. and I was
raising him for my own use"
One may cite the adventure that befell
Representative George r smitG Of
Minnesota, as a striking instance Of the
advantages OF a knowledge of human
emotions, In time Of stress or emergency.
Smith went into quick-fire eating
place In Washington one day and ordered
a plate Of soup; also a piece OF pie.
Then he became engrossed in his news
paper while awaiting Developments. After
a space IL occurred to him that he was
there for the purpose Of eating food, and
being an absent-minded man. he started
in OIL a piece Of pie instead OF his soup,
which was hidden by his newspaper.
After he had eaten most Of his pie,
Smith noticed his soup sitting there dis
passionately before him. Moreover, an
untouched piece OF pie lay before him.
That set him to thinking, and he made
a further discovery. to wit: Thai he had
eaten the pie belonging to a young wom-
an at his right. The Congressman
glanced furtively in her direction out OF
the tail of his eye, and she was all coll
ed ready to spring.
Now. when Smith tells the story he
gets down that far and then stops.
Invariably somebody asks:
What did you say to her.
Say to her." says Smith. Why, !
didn't say anything to her. Do you sup
pose i wanted to make a scene in a
public restaurant? II had offered her
single word Of apology Il would have
given her an opportunity to come back
and say what she thought Of me- I
could see she would not start talking to
a person to whom she had not been
properly introduced, but the slightest i'm
pulse would set her going. So / went
ahead eating and saying nothing. just as
II made IL a daily habit to eat neigh
boring slices OF pie
Thus We learn that George R. Smith
is real philosopher.
Representative Charles j. Smith. Of
Buffalo. sprung a tale the other day that
sounded new and went well.
II seems that a young Irishman went
out West and took up his residence in 4
tough little mining camp. He figured
that the quickest way to get over being
a tenderfoot was TO mix around and be
one of the crowd. So he sauntered into
a saloon with the intention of making
himself agreeable. Two formidable look
ing persons. who carried with them a
great deal Of local color. were standing
In front Of the bar. which consisted Of a
large plank stretched between two par
rels on end. Each had two or three re-
volvers sticking out OF him. As the
Irishman entered he heard one OF the
men saying:
"Whad did you shoot i'm for
"Aw. just didn't like him around. He
annoyed me So I shot him
Won't you have a drink with me-
put in the newcomer.
The other two turned and glsred at
him.
Il don't care" consented one "AI and
I'll split a quart Of Bourbon between US"
And won't you have something"
asked the lrishman, turning to the bar
tender
Well. I might take a tumbIer Of
brandy" replied the bar clerk. What
are you going to have YOURSELF"
oh" ordered the Irishman. trying TO
enter into the spirit OF the thing. Just
make mine stein OF gin
Representative Samuel winslow. Of
Worcester. Mass. has his once walls
decorated with large framed pictures OF
plants in that town.
Some day" he explains. somebody
will come In here and see those pictures
and get to talking about the industries
up our way. and I'll he instrumental in
having him buy some goods from one of
our concerns. Then whenever I'm asked
by idle curiosity seekers what. IL any
thing. ! have accomplished in Congress.
can point 10 that sale and prove that I
did not come down here in vain"
Uncle Hank Barnhart. member Of
Congress from Indiana. tells Of a young
man from out his way who met a young
oman he had not seen for many years. |
Il thought you were dead" was the |
young mans greeting.
No" insisted the girl. but I'm mar
ried.''
TO whom"
oh. some Englishman"
Copyright 1914 By Fred c. Kelly. All rights r.
Rredl