The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1914-05-06
IN YRESRUN LAND.
Notes on the Habits and Customs 81 .
Little known People.

Notes ON the Habits ana Customs Of
Little known People.
The Yresrunian nation occupies an
eligible plateau between the Cificap and
Citnalta oceans. rich in minerals. well
adapted to agriculture and fortunately
situated for trade and commerce.
Yresrun consists generally of . GEN.
trail valley, drained by the Iruossim
and Tppississim rivers. . mountainous
region to the west and a less rugged
mountainous region to the east.
Yresrun lies partly in the north tenn.
perate zone and partly in the prohibi-
ton zone.
In consequence Of this strange phe-
nomenoD some sections Of Yresrun are
dry and some are wet.
Among the Yresrunlans are many
citizens who believe total abstinence to
be far preferable to temperance. Their
constant endeavor is to remove the
country from the temperate zone.
Other Yresrunians oppose chis pro-
gramme, declaring that nothing Is so
deleterious to a nation as a permanent
drought.
Among the mass Of the Yresrunians
inns OutO cAtitCu kEcat lultItSt,
but since the Introduction OF modern
drugs the popular concern over II has
materially abated. Most citizens now
demand fewer beer halls and more
chemists shops.
Politically the Yresrunians are d.
vided into two great classes. the Haveits
and the Wantits.
The Haveits are fewer in number
httt ~ Oh T., Thee
divided into several factions, such as
the Grabmores. the Keepalls and the
Lielows. These factions differ among
themselves but act together against
the Wantits.
Among the wantits there are also
numerous divisions. Prominent in
these are the Screechlouds. the Wild
yelps and the Sharpones.
Not infrequently a Sharpone becomes
a Havcit. Whenever this occurs the
Haveits praise the former Sharpone. but
he IL universally execrated among the
Wantits.
Usually a Sharpone who 10 trans
formed into Haveit outdoes his new
associates in the contempt he shows
for the Wantits
The Haveits assert that the wantits
possess no brains.
The wantits hold that the Haveits
are without intellects
The Yresrunian philosopher DR.. o. p.
Tomist declares that the Haveits and
the Want!ts are both right
In Yresrun human liberty IL held
sacred and therefore Is not used in
everyday life.
Most Yresrunians believe that human
liberty would not survive II il were used
for any other purpose than as an ex-
cuse for conversation.
Professor =. f. Simist, the Punworg
traveller who visited Yresrun last year,
gives It as his opinion that human lib-
erty has been talked TO death in that
country.
The Yresrunians rule each other.
Their form OF government is called a
yticauaol.
The Yresrunian who can disgorge the
highest number of words in a day Is
the leader OF the state.
His aids and assistants are selected
after a severe examination, and exer-
else power and authority according TO
their several and individual capacities
20 utter sounds
In the last century a missionary from
Dnaltiw introduced phonograph In
fresTuN. anu II tt'upIfu AIr Nlllri
magistracv until its motor wore out.
During the period Of the monographs
ascendency II played only one record.
but as the Yresrun,ans make It prac-
,ice to leave their heads at home when
they devote themselves 20 govern
mental affairs this in no way dimin-
shed the respect and affection IN which
the phono9raph was held.
r-ip,sfuaI p.Cf1naftOn among -he
Yresrunians "a m!nding other folks
business.
Throughout Yresrun grea, faith Is put
In charms and incantations
Every Yresrunian believes undues-
tioning.v In the efficacy OF black marks
on white paper wrapped in pie crust
colored leather 10 remedy any evil that
may atf',ct him.
The marks are made on the paper by
skilled conversationalst-. appointed for
this purpose nv their fellow Yresrunians
at stated intervals and well recon-
pensed for their services. when the
black marks have been made on the
white paper and the pie crust colored
leather has been put around the whole,
no further attention is paid 10 the
charm.
Captain n. y. Olege, having observed
this quaint custom on a visit To Yres-
run. hazarded the speculation that the
yresrur!ans by their simple faith in
this means Of lettering their condition
revealed their kinsh!p with those Mon
golians who write prayers on slips OF
paper and esteem these papers TO be Of
.ncalCulahle value.
Captain Olege was caught by the
Mongolians. and apologtzed.
Private OsIyriis Farewell ami Thana.