Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1914-07-30

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BY THE NEW PAsroR
The millennium has reached chieago-they have put Up : fence
and separated the sexes at the principal bathing beach Whaddy
|ye know about that
D. g guess =. tbs golden ;lIns age n i being 8 u aahsr i. and q, vs. en- mere ] en- men aa ars
200 ~ q breach Of promise suit
Here's the point where the pastor quits carrying 50 much silver
4 silver plate which q Pennsylyania man was carrying over three ct
his ribs, was struck By lightning the Other day.
The Kentucky distiners have decided to make only half asl
R much v whisky iss y.a g 7 are are capable edas. Ct au making GIT this s. year ., Y. e order q ia,l t.
this, as they can win the bout twice as easy.
Uneasy Lies the Head Etc.
John d. Rockefeller had seven armed guards protecting him on
his birthday last week. The pastor Of the sharps and Flats has
Mrs. Beat: ssTell the gentleman I'm not receiving today,
New Maid: but he amt deiverin', mum; he's conectn'
Hey, Percy, Have You Been Eatin' Emp
of thyroid glands Of lambs and sheep is transforming a young dwarf
|of Hllidaysburg into natural proportions. Under the treatment
his arms and legs. are steadily frightening.
Bishop Olmstead was talking about boy nature. ST once said
f. = little boy: DO you know the parallels, my childa'
trtAnd which Of the parallels, said i, do you like besta'
atI like the, one he answered, after q moments thought
where somebody loafs and fishes San Francisc !, Star
Both Changed.
The old gentleman's wife was getting into the carriage, and
he neglected to assist her. ###48
sYou are not 50 gallant, John, as when you were a boy She
exclaimed in gentle rebuke.
No. was his ready response, 8 and you are not SO buoyant as
when you were a galt''-sacred Heart Review.
Good in Figures.
Sammy was not prone to overexertion in the classroom; there
fore his mother was both surprised and delighted when he came
home or one noon with the announcement, e got 100 this morning
That's lovely, sammy 81 exclaimed his proud mother, and she
kissed him tenderly. What was it in2''
FIFTY IN reading and fifty II 'rithmehc The Multitude,
Mrs. % +. 7. Belmont says that in the golden age coming III
YIN not be e, permissible an sstls. e ]. refer e 2 woman ess ass so-andix m., wife wife but
Itor Of the sharps and Flats is 50 meek and humble that he isn't
male he'll do II without q murmnr. Mrs, Belmont cant faze me
Avoiding the Job.
"A gentleman stepped into Hestad's shoe store one day last week
carrying q care-worn expression which bespoke d tale Of woe.
What can I show YOU = inquired the clerk.
e1This way, sir, What kind do you wisha',
Doesn't matter, Just g they don't button IL the. back
schmile and der worlt sehmiles nit you,
Laugh and der worlt vii roar;
Howl and der worlt will leaf you
Und neffer come back no more
Not all of us couldn't been handsome,
Not all Of us hat goot Clothes,
But a schmile is not expensive,
IND It. covers a worlt Of woes.
The keenest student it would FAAA
To know the habits Of the JJJJJJ
While any one can learn with EEEEE
The simple secrets of the BBBBB
Columbia Jester.
But while you think you can with EEEEE
Dig up the secrets of the BBBBBB
I'll bet a can of Iiptons TTTTTT
You can't grow juicy podless PPPPPP
/. . 80. ins u stofs
Father John Bedford at Brooklyn got after the beach dancers
pretty sharply lTy last Sunday d the following language; Some san
can be nothing worse, but as time goes on we find there is progress
lapeakably vulgar dances d the beach IL Brighton. But one de-
gree, and that 3 very thin degree, removed from nudity, these
bend and dip upon the sand with every evidence Of sexual excite