davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15
New TopIos Of The rim...

Stranger (returnlng to the old home
town after several years absence in
the city)-"Well, well, well, II there
isn't old Deacon Trueblood and old 81
Hoskins sitting out yonder in front Of
Luscomb's grocery and still arguing.
Haven't those old fellows ever yet set.
tied the question Of orthodox bap-
tism?p Native-'Baptism? They amt
talkin' baptism, Bill; Sis jes' ex-
plainin' to Their deacon that Their dea-
con would ha' done a durn sight bet
ter gittin' an automobile like sis in
Std OF gittin' Their kind Of one the
deacon dd git."-st Louis Repub-
liz
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15
ANOTHER
Rllf loOcE

A1dIenee Shaking his head and pounding one hand upon the other. People
who passed shook their heads sadly.
PRESENTLY, a ne neared the great iron gate, four uniformed men rushed
out, raDDe him by the arms and legs and carried him, kicking and fighting,
inside the grounds. Weaver choking with rage. demanded al explanation of
such an outrage. E
"AW gwan!" chorted m of the brawny guards, setting Weaver o n his
feet with a jerk. What you handing us-we knows you is one of them bugs
nuten ward c."
"Lunatic." yelled Weaver, who now saw into what spot he had landed.
"Lunat1c? Why, l am a politician and expect to go 10 eongress!"& "
Well drawled the guard. with a grin, Il don't know but what you've got
10 just the sam kind of place now!" #
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15
This cockatoo cropa Wood.

John RUDE, of Kingscliffe, North
ants, has an eighteen-year.old silver
crested Australian cocatoo which not
only. talks and sings" but has a ma.
MIA for "chopping' wood. Each day
the housekeeper provides her helper
with a starch or soap box and the bird
breaks It up with its beak into short
and thin pieces suitable for frewood,
any nails In the way being drawn.
The amount Of labor that bird has
saved In the way Of wood chopping
Ia enormous" the ~housekeeper says.
The only thing I have to do is to- Q
that there 10 no paint on the boxos."
New York Sun.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15

seem probable that a customer wearing Is good clothes as a tailor can make
would really enjoy having his shoes snleared over with backing that you can
bet your life wasn't Day & Martins, or that he wanted them scratched up
with a cheap brush by @ wavGing hand. Still, you can't always rely Oh the
sex supposngs If a spinster soul whose only knowledge of man has been of
the mail-note the spelling. please-mai correspondence variety Anyhow,
whatever mis- reason. the man put one foot and then the other on the b1 and
told the other man about how he used to be a bootback-before tho shoe
shine Riddles vanished with the coming of the asphalt And did it pay? And
wouldn't it be better to get something more profitable and sheltered from
the weather. watchmans place, for instance? Any man who had fought for
a flag ought to be fit to guard a store.
The woman had to leave them there, so that she cal never know how the
job turned out, but
If you don't come across N old man with a goneby shoe box on his back
waiting around for a chance to shine 'em up you may know that he's got a
job Is a Waterman. @ At
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15
Hoped Coats.

The hooped coats are very smart.
They r made of velvet, broche satin.
velours de laine, fine faced cloth and
many other materials, says the New
York Press. The genuine leg OF nut.
ton sleeve is seen, and, as a rule, these
coats are generously trimmed with fur.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15
ReltIno Rapidly Disappearing.

The rapid displacement Of the belt
as a means Of transmitting power is
not only resulting in a great saving
Of energy in the work shops Of the
world, but also 10 a great saving OF
life, for the use of the belt has always
been attended by injury and loss OF
life to a serious degree. The electric
drive is ~remedying all this. Although
the United States was the pioneer In
the development Of motor driven ma
chlnery, 1t appears that Germany Is
at present leading in the extent Of its
Use, for anything but an electrically
iriven machine is rarely seen in that
country
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15

ence was full Of handsome women and pretty girls
who were, Of course, much interested in the tariff
when it is explained by a young bachelor who lived
in official Washington.
Slemp got along famously, carrying with him the
sympathy of the crowd. But at last a fellow In a
back seat rose to make a statement.
Il like Slemp,' he roared. "Slemp's all right
The only thing l have agin him is that he is not
married Now, / propose to this honorable gath
ering that we refuse to vote for him unless he
promises to git married"
Slemp was equal to the occasion.
II acknowledge my desolate state" he exclaim.
ed. yet 1t is not my fault, but that OF the fair ones
who will not have me. IL there is any one among
the many lovely ladies in this audience who will
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15
ro Heal chapned skim.

Skins that have been chapped and
made rough by exposure can h. re
Iieved by applying with a bit OF old
linen a lotion consisting Of one n
OF rose water, half an ounce of glycer-
in, half a teaspoonful Of ber4x and
three drops Of benzoin.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15

suburbs and rehearse his Grafton. He selected a
secluded spot on the road along which ran a long.
high brick wall, with a gate at the end. Weaver
did not know it, but this was the state lunatic
asylum.
Up and down the road he paced, talking most
vehemently, gesticulating wildly to an Imaginary
determined to be one of the nations representa-
tives. And ever since then he has worked with
this object in view.
Weaver settled in Oklahoma when there we're
few white people living there. But in one of his
trips in Texas, to deliver a political speech. he
had an adventure which seemed at the time much
more serious than it does now. He reached the
town to which he was billed and, as he had a few
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15

WHeH you nave NO OVeTcOaL. LOu We just HdtuIdIIJ
got to keep going.
Yesterday he was down by the soldiers monu-
ment-an army button on his coat and a shoe
brush in his handwriting and waiting-until
Providence came by in the shape of a man with
one of those loud! CHEEKY voices that God gives
to many men, but which only Dickens could de-
scribe.
why. bless my soul! Where did you get that
old kit? Give me a shine"
He put a foot on the small shoe-shine box. Ke-
member when the Riddles used to shine EN- up
on the streets? Gee, it's a long time back! And
the other man creaked his joints into a crouch
and proceeded to put on a polish. y
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15
Certainly Friuhtened.

Footelighte-Awful case of stage
fright at the theater, last night.
Miss Sue Brette-Did you have it?
mo; it was the author Of the play,
whom they dared to come before the
curtain"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15
Its Result.

How did Maude's experiment In
apartment life succeed?"
Not at all. 1t was a fiat failure"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15
Congressman Finds His Boyhoods Wish Fulfilled

D REPRESENTATIVE CLAUDE WEAVER of Oklahoma finds in his coming
N to congress the fulflment of a wish expressed ever since he was nine
years old. At that age he began his dairy with the statement that be was
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15
Representative SIemp Finds an Agent Of Cupid

n REPRESENTATIVE BAsCoM sLEMP of Virginia was until recently a bache-
II lr. A few years ago. however, when he was heart whole and fancy
tree q he al speaking to q large assembly at a political gathering The audi
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15
An Old Man Wearing Army Button Shines Shoes

WAsHINGToN.-Have you seen him? And did you have to swallow a lump
w Maybe you have missed him, SO far, for he doesn't stay put His
business requires circulation. And, besides, you can't stay still in Novembe
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15

The nan jumped to his feet again exctedly.
"No, you don't" he exclaimed. You'll have to 60 to foreign parts to git
your bnde-am the girls around here have got too much sense to take youl"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15
Senator Went to Capitol Only Half Dressed

HEY are telling this story Q John R, Thornton, senator from Louisiana:
= Ihornton rose absentmindedly, dressed himself fully, he thought
and Wen into the dining room of his hotel for breakfast The head waiter
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15

for the heat"
mr. The explanation Of it all came when his son Gordon. who is also his
secretary, saw him. k
SAY, father" he yelled as Senator Thornton entered his Office. What
IN earth did you do with your conar%
Thornton grabbed at his neck wildly. He had o n neither collar or tie.
He hustled his son back on the hotel for the necessary articles of raiment
and then sat down and wrote apologies to both the postmaster and Mr. Keat-
ing. telling them that he hadn't intentionally gone downtown in the street
IA with them half dressed; it was only an oversight
II intend to talk to that waiter in the hotel he moaned, sadly. Why
didn't he tell me / was only half dressed"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1914-01-15

grinned at him a bit, but the senator, who was in
a hurry, failed to notice it.
He just caught a street car bound for the CAPT
toll and pumped himself between Postmaster Gen,
eral Burleson and Edward Heating, representative
from Colorado.
"See you're dressed for hot weather" com
mented the postmaster.
Senator Thornton, attired in white linen, nodded
his head complacently.
Yes" he said; 1--WE of the south learn to do
that"
And he wondered why his hearers smiled in an
embarrassed manner. a"
When he reached the senate office building the
elevator man said:
Good morning, senator. see you're prepared
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1914-04-09
HAVE GOOD HEALTH
Take Hoods Sarsaparilla. the Old
Reliable Spring Tonic.

Don't let the idea that You may
feel better in a day or two prevent
YOU from getting a bottle of Hood 5
Sarsaparilla today from any drug
store and starting at once on the
road to health and strength.
When your blood is impure aud
impoverished it lacks vitality, your
digestion is poor, and all the func-
tions of your body are impaired.
Hoods Sarsaparilla is the great
est known blood tonic. 1t will build
You mp quicker than any other nedi-
cine. 1t gives strength 10 do and
power to endure. 1t is the old
standard tried aud true all-the-vear-
round blood purifier and onrieher.
tonic and appetizer. Nothing else
acts like it, for nothing else has the
same formula or ingredients. Be
sure to ask for Hood s. get it,today,
and begin taking it at once.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1914-04-09
DOING THEIR lUTY
Scores Of Bennington Readers are
Learning the Duty Of the Kidneys

To filter the blood is the kidney S
duty.
When they fail to do this the kid
neys are weak.
Backache and other kidney ills may
follow;
Help the kidneys do their work.
Use Doans Kidney Pills-the test
ed kidney remedy.
Bennington people endorse their
worth.
Mrs. Bridget Mcnamara. All Coun.
ty St. Bennington, VT. says: Il will
ingly recommend Doan's Kidney Pills
and | consider them the best remedy
to be had for kidney aud bladder trou
BILE. They rid me of a constant, dull
ache in my back that had bothered
me for years and also wonderfully
improved my health. advise other
kidney sufferers to try Doan's Kidney
Pills"
If your gack aches-if your kidneys
bother you, don't simply ask for kid
ney remedy-ask distinctly for Deans
Kidney Pills, the same that Mrs. Nc
Namara had-the remedy backed by
home testimony. soc all stores. Eos
ter-Milburn Co, Props, Buffalo, n. Y.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1914-04-09

GUY w. BAILEY,
Secretary OF State.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1914-04-09
PRESIDENTS EASTER TRIP
Going with Mrs. Wilson to White Sui
phur Springs. w. Va.

Washington. April S-The plans
for President Wilson's Easter trip
were changed today The party will
20 to White sulphur Springs. West
Virginia. instead OF Hot Springs. Nir-
ginia. As previously announced the
trip will be made to afford Mrs. VIII
son an opportunity to recuperate
from her recent illness. The presi-
dent plans to leave Thursday aud 10
return TO the White House Monday
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1914-04-09

hundred thousand dollars is hereby
appropriated erecting within the Montpelier and
eoec lions and library Of the Vermont His
cal Society and for other state uses and the auditor accounts is
his orders said sum in such nstalmen
approved by the commissioners hereinafter
Said building shall be erected Of stone or brick and shall be
Sec The governor the chief judge the supreme
X Bchede of Adams City and
Fred A. Rowland Montpelier
as such are empowered
building according such plan The governor shall by appoint
board commissioners created
by this act shah direction
vision of the erection Of such building and may appoint some suitable
f tids for furnisbinr The materials and constructing
buing bid shall be accepted
building shall be entered which will involve
for the erection completion
further guaranteed subscription Said build
ing shall be completed on before the hrst DAY OF September 1916
hereby authorized to borrow the
& @ me to time and for this purpose the trustees of the perma
aent school
at the then average rate at which said fund is invested
There is hereby appropriated annually the sum OF twenty-five
july 1915 for the purpose of paying the
authorized and the state shall also have the
right to pay part obligations the
appropriation b the state at any time after June &c. 1915 and all
temporary accordance with proyis
shall become payable the option of the state on and a
which shall be subject to payment by the state at any time
the commissioners in their discretion decide to construct
building separate from the state capitol Tor the purposes here stat
they empowered reconstruct the interior Of the present library
comm, S e th nstrv thereof as in their Judgment NAV be
the thisact into effect
commissioners shall be allowed their necessary
effect July l. 1914; provided that
of
July /, 1915
Sec of SHALL the
1914 warning
article in substance as follows
Assembly of 1872 entitled An Act to
provide the library and
preme become July 1912?
of shall at least ten days prior such annual
meeting furnish
acceptance of the
this act
ballots furnish
ballots printed different
public places in
The
forthwith March
blanks furnished by said
a question of the
provisions c this
Sec On the 1914 shall
SHALL within thereafter
certifying the result of such vote and declar
ing the provisions of the act shall effect.
regulations conducting cleo
provided the referendum
herefnbefore provided
Sec All parts
by repealed.
Approved February 81. 1918.
NOW REMEMBERED pursuant provisions OF
provided by section of
a the result be follows:
hundred twenty.
No hundred eighyfour
detective Two hundred ninetysx
do will effect July 1915
In subscribed
of the
seventh day of April A. D. 1914
tseal)
W.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1914-04-09
Little Wonder Workers

Coles Little Wonder Workers, the
liver pill that contains the new ca
thartic phenolphtta lein and the old
cathartic Aloin combined to make
the most effective little liver pill you
ever had. Prompt, safe and sure re-
lief in any case Of disordered stom-
ach, constipation, blliousness, and
liver troubles. Forty little sugar
coated pellets for Zoe. Sold only by
Harold W. Cole, Pharmacist.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1914-04-09
Foley Kidney Pill Successful for
rheumatism and Kidney Trouble

Easy to take, quick to give good re
suits. positive in action for backache.
weak back. rheumatism, kidney and
bladder troubles. As soon as you be
gin taking them you feel the benefit
of their healing qualities. p. ]. Boyd
Ogle, Texas, says: after taking two
bottles Of Foley Kidney Pills, my
rheumatism and kidney trouble are
completely gone" Safe and effec-
tive. Contains no habit forming
drugs Coles Pharmacy.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1914-04-09
RETURNED uNoPPosED
Premier Asquith Elected Again by
East Fife Constituency

Londcn. April s.-Premier As
quith again became member Of the
House OF Commons today. when he
was returned unopposed by his old
constituency Of East Fife, Scotland.
lie has represented this constituency
since 1856. Today was the sixth an
niverscry Of AcQuith's assumption of
the premiership.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1914-04-09
MAN BADLY STABBED
Trey Italian Terribly esshed in the
Back

Troy. April s:--With his head and
back gashed in a terrible manner,
Frank Collatlno. a young Italian, is
in a critical condition at the Samari-
tan hospital. claiming to be the vic
tim OF a mysterious attack made up
on him by two men while he was
near his home on Hin street last
evening. Owing to the fact that he
does not speak English. the police
have been unable to sc. all of the
details regarding the matter from
him that they would Ike to get, but
they are at work on the case and
further developments are expected
today.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1914-04-09
Spring Laxative and Blood Cleanse

Flush out the accumulated waste
and poisons Of the winter months;
cleanse your stomach, liver and kid
neys of all impurities. Take DIR,
Kings New Life Pills; nothing better
for purifying the blood. Mild, non.
gripping laxative Cures constipation;
makes you feel fine. Take no other
Csc, at your Druggist.
Rucklen's Arnica Salve for All sores
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1914-04-09
LEFT ROOSEVELT WELL
Lee c Miller sa~ Him LAST On Feb
I-EKpeeteo az Mana0s Soon

Nanaos. Rrazii. April S.-Capt.
Amllcar De MaEalhaes. commanding
the exploring party which started
down the Giparano River. has just ar
rived. Leo C. Miller. the naturalist.
OF the American Museum OF Natural
History. who accompanied the ROOse-
welt expedition. Is with him.
ar. Miller says he left Gel Roose-
welt in good health ON the Durida
River on Feb. a. The Colonel. be-
says. has been engaged IN some dif-
lcult exploration. and may be ex-
pected 10 reach here late this month.
There is some tax Of his sailing On
May IL Anthony Fiala.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1914-04-09
STATE OF VERMONT
BY The Secretary of the State
A PROCLAMATION

WHEREAS General Assembly 1912 passed act reading as follows
An Act Provide Building for the Use The State Lrar
Supreme Court, and Tor other Stale Purposes
hereby The General Assembly The State Of Vermont
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-10
Never Again"

r T was the Eve Of st. Valentines
| Day. and she sat and unused:
1T was years and years ago.
knew that my Harold would send me
valentine. and was up long be-
| last, but no valentine.
THE hours passed-the day passed.
No token Of his love.
1T took me month to recover
from the cruel blow. but at last I
could pass him ON the street and sheer
more me? Was he dead broke. or
was he tired Of me? st. Valentines
Day Is at hand again, and
A sudden thought came to the
woman, and she acted upon it at once.
She passed down tho hall to the front
door. stopped down and got her fingers
under the carpet and gave q sudden
yank. . ~-
"R-i-p!" and the carpet came up,
and lying there on the door, just as
the letter carrier had showed it un-
der the door. was tho valentine for
It was a corker.
It had as many as six bleeding
hearts, four Cupids and seven doves
pictured on it. and the verse of po-
etry was simply immense.
Harold had been true, after all, but
she, with her sneers, had driven him
away-driven him into marrying
widow with eleven children.
Ada Schemerhorn moaned and fell
as the truth came to her at last, and
at this writing she is still lying where
she fell and having ---~~~-- =. cold lob
of 1t.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-10

- EE here. Smith," said Barton as
the two men met on the street
- corner, you know I have been
married good many years.
over thirty, believe" was the re-
ply. zs..a
Would you believe had any ro-
nance left ~
We'll. hardly"
But have. I was Just In tho sta
toners looking at valentines"
80? For tho wife,"
Yes. Haven't sent her one In
twenty years, but 1t struck me today
I'd surprise her."
"Yes1 Did you find anything to
please?~
There h perfect beauty for
eight dollars"
mo young man will send a costlier
ono to his girl"
''You bet they won't. Come in and
look at it."
IL haven't time just now, and
and"
"Oh, come along"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-10

II happily took a skip, but was sued
for breach Of promise, brought back
for trial. and Cynthia got my $4,000.
I was knocked out. I was busted. It
was the end Of life for me. I be-
came what you see, and now you will
tell me to move on, and I shall move,
and ere the sun Of February rises
again.
The officer patted him on the Shout
der. gave him a chew of tobacco, and
then, as the tramp settled on his back
for a nap, ne was carefully covered
up with an old newspaper and left
to his shores and his SORROWS.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-10

for me. 1t was for another girl. You
said you'd warrant it."
why, I don't remember the cir
cumstance. Sure that this is the
placer"
II ought to be, for that girl also
throwed me down."
why, that's SO very strange"
"And now I'm here again. I've
got another girl on the string. and
want another valentine. shan't kick
at the price, but 1t must be something
that will fetch her. Have it covered
with cooling doves or bleeding hearts
or Cupids turning handsprings. but
it's got to do the trick. If it don't
then never no MOREOVER no more"
He got one for fifteen cents and
went away to try his luck for the third
and last time.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-10
The Dangerous Valentine

q 1R,' said the tramp who was dis
- covered in hallway just as he
was about to make his bed for
the night, you are an officer Of the
law. You will tell me to move on, and
I will move. But sir. before I move
1 ask you to listen to my story"
go ahead" replied the officer who
was glad to be out Of the cutting wind
for few minutes.
Sir, thirty years ago, when I was
full Of youth and bounding spirits, I
went to Kansas with $4,000 in my
pocket to buy land. 7 stopped with
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-10
Never No More

~ e was a lathy, long backed young
man Of about four and twenty,
- and he looked at the valentines
IN the window for long quarter of
an hour before he entered and said:
Il was here two years ago"
"Yes?" replied the girl behind the
counter.
Il told you l was in love with a girl
and wanted to send her a valentine.
You picked out one that you said
would mash your own heart, and I
bought it and sent it,
and she was pleased?"
She throwed me down."
Dear met
And 1 was here again last year."
the young man continued.
"Yes?"
"And again you selected a valentine
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-02-10

farmer for three days. He had a
daughter named Cynthia. 1t was
along about st. Valentines Day, and
out Of courtesy sent her a valentine.
1t bore legend. SIR.
"Oh, love be mine,
Oh. maid so fine
Give me thy heart
For valentine"
"Well?" queried the officer.
THAT was the legend, sir, and she
fell on my shoulder and said she
would"
"And you were happily married?"