Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1914-05-23
the parlor was cleared for action he
starred to propose.
Darling he passionately cried,


throwing himself on his knees before
her and rolling his eyes toward the
ceiling, beloved, dearest, can't you
see. can't you guess that love you?"
Well was the rather chilling re-
Spouse of the girl as she gazed at the
agitated youth before her, ~ would
hate to think that this is just your
natural way Of acting before COM
pany."
They were playing Macbeth" and
the performance had reached the
thrilling point where Macbeth goes
OFF the stage to murder the king.
On arriving behind the scenes the
villain of the piece looked about for
the blood in which to dip his hands.
Not finding it, he summoned the stage
manager, who had forgotten to pre-
pare it..
What was to be done? The time had
come for him to reappear on the stage
Suddenly. with admirable presence
OF mind, he smote the managers
nose with all his force, and dipping
his hands in the copious stream which
flowed, he dashed on the stage, fol-
lowed by roar from the smitten one,
lust in time, with the words: Il have
R1Sto w,a$A
why do the dressmakers keep dis
playing these fashion plates?."
why not?"
'No modiste ever has the nerve to
make dress like them"
Economizino.
l do not like you, Doctor Fell,
The reason why I'm free to tell
I'm eating cakes now minus syrup
Because you sent my wife to Europe.
The Dear Girls.
Here comes Nerissa. Let's all kiss
her complexion off. Who'll kiss her
first?"
Il will" continued vanessa.
"No, let me do it, urged Jocosta.
81 know where her freckles are
Keep on Trying.
Robert Bruce and his spider-you
know the episode"
Yep
Teaches fine lesson in patience
We don't find such instances these
days"
ooh. | don't know. We can get an
excellent lesson from Sir Thomas Lip
| ton and his Shamrock"
| But Surely.
The peach crop is conyalesctns
/; slowly.
The feminine protest against tn
distin gushing titles Miss and Mrs. j:
not without merit. Men are simplj
Mr., whether single or married anc
there seems to be no COOL reason why
| every mention of Wcman's nam.
should carry the information that she
has Or has not been welded. If yor
want to know whether q man is mar
ried or single, you ask the question
Curiosity regarding woman's domes
tic state might be satisfied in the same
way.---Ksnsas City Journal
''Have you ever done anything t.
save your fellow man from suffering 2
asked Mrs. D.
"Well. i married you!" answered
Mr.. D. in a rare moment Of inspira
ton.
Brown. idle through slack times
started to tramp to Buffalo by wa,
of the Erie canal to look for job.
| He met on his way good man.
canal boats coming up and down, ant
finally, stopping a canal captain he OF
i fered to work his passage.
The captain took him on and Sc
| him to leading the horses along tn
towpath.
| Brown led the horses for two days
/! thinking hard. On the third day h
had thought it all out and he resigned
81 might as well walk as work m.
passage" said Brown.
"Frederick, I'm sure you will for
give me-" said the beautiful girl, bow
ing her head, when you know the tru'
reason OF my breaking our engagement
so soon. But when become engaged
to you forgot"
What is 1t Gladys?" he murmurel
sadly. BE not afraid. Is 1t that yo1
love another?'
4 mo, indeed responded the girl in
dignantly, her eyes flashing at hin
Through veil of tears. But you know
how superstitious l am forgot tina
i you would be exactly the thirteenth
man I've been engaged to-"
/ Another Fad.
/ Seems to be the style now to wea
I the hat resting on the ears"
] eyes, and know an expert who, TO
SO a treatment, will train your ears t.
| stick out in the most fashionable way.
(, The Upper House.
/ eve elect our senators to represen
1 states. How about the house Of lords
cts members sort Of represent indus
4 tries. For instance, beer has fourteen
members, coal has five and soap ha
one"
Backyard Opera.
| We suppose an occasional Tom ca
studies vocalism on the quiet 70
| =