New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1914-12-13
BY EARL y. FINDLEY.

by EAhL y.
Railroad engineers are afraid of goats, and
so are automobilists who choose to motor on
Staten Island Commissioner Woods therefore
ordered Captain Danagan, of the Staten Island
police force, to gather in the goats that have
been interfering with traffic without permits.
The work of goat stalking undertaken
with brave exteriors by the captains men.
Their bravery is still letter perfect, but their
exteriors have in some cases undergone
change.
Goat stalking has been put on level with
deer hunting, but the stalking on Staten Island
was only surpassed by Roosevelt's menagerie
hunt in African wds.
Agricultursts tell us that it is comparatively
easy to keep goat two, but ten Staten ISL
and policemen found it comparatively impossi-
bic to care for one for any apprecable length
OF time.
For obvious reasons there are few extra
butts in the preceding paragraphs.
Although the Encyclopedia Britannica as
serts that goats are confined to the Old World,
you cannot get one OF those policemen on
Staten Island to accept the statement. All
have come in contact recently with specimens
OF the goat family that decidedly were not con-
fined to Europe. The trouble was, they were
not confined at AL
Policemen who have been trying to subdue
Che goats on Staten Island are not boastfu
One patrolman weighing nearly 400 pounds
was chasing half a dozen goats. They we're
Irish goats. Some goats are handsomer than
others, but in the of the Irish goat-well
some goats arc uglier than others.
Did you ever have nightmare Clothe it
with long, red hair, and give it pair of
horns, and you will have the Irish goat. And
Judging by their tonsorial adornments, Irish
goats have not yet heard of safety razors.
The policeman had forgotten, it, indeed, he
had ever known, that the goat gives preference
10 elevated situations. These goats evidently
mistook the patrolnan for mountain. At any
rate, they playfully skipped over his ample pro-
portions. hopping skilfully up along his but
tons, playing tag around his neck and chasing
each other down his back
II is his opinion that there is animal more
uniformly hardy than the goat. They were
equally playful on the ground while he VS. in
the air
This policeman, interviewed in the hospital
says he hasn't much to say in favor Of goats.
felt them all.
We find, from the numerous records OF pre-
historic races yielded by the mud on the shores
OF the Swiss lakes, that the bones of goats
are associated with human remains. Prehistoric
cops were evidently on the job. AS no buttons
we're found, we take il for granted the goats
ate them
Captain Danagans men have learned lot
about the goat. Just as did the other keepers
OF the peace in Harlem, not so many years
ago. who discovered that the horns OF the
goat, however gracefully curled are not stuck
on the goats Uranium for the purpose OF
decoration.
They have also learned that. no matter how
much they may hold goats in contempt 1t IS
not wise 20 turn their backs on them
One wise old Staten Island goat perched
himself on an almost perpendicular height
with all the agility OF fly on pane OF glass
and, from his giddy perch, reconnoitred the
enemys force Strstegieally retiring from