davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-05
can civilization and for Mr.. Wilson's
eminent qualities.
Tells Of French Resolution,

Il thank you for your wishes for the
establishment of a long and happy
peace. If it had depended only upon
the French government peace would
never have been troubled To brutal
attack we have replied, with that pa
triotism and bravery to which you are
so kind as to pay homage.
I'VE are determined to fulfll to the
end the duty that is imposed on us. In
order that it may be long and happy,
that 1t may not be illusory and treach-
erous, peace musf>be guaranteed by
reparation in entirety for violated
rights, and it must be protected
against further attacks"
The president ended his remarks by
sending his wishes for the prosperity
and greatness of the United States, as
well as for the personal happiness of
your illustrious President"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-05
For Exchange
Exchanging Everywhere

If you cannot easily sell
your property. why not trade
it for real estate which YOU
can use? State your wants,
describe your offerings; NO
CHARGE FOR LISTING.
We will not handle prop
ertv unless offered on fair
basis.
If you have an old house
you would exchange for new,
a large one for a small. an
equity for clear, vacant for
improved. WE can help you
to a satisfactory exchange.
FOR EXCHANGE
Free and clear. a trnct Of about
80 acres on the Blndensburg Road.
Price less than half nsl<ed for ad-
joining land; will trade for equity
I'm apartment house.
FOR EXCHANGED NEW HOUSE IN
Cleveland Park. near cars. ready for oc-
cupancy: stories. attic cellar. tiled
bath: hot-water heat: electric lights:
plenty Of shade. Price. 81; $50 VIII
take a home in city that Will rent well
in trade.
west az 10th: price. $6.750: will rent
for $50: take a house on the Heights
under $4,000.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-05

ave- Sc. Hfnson v. Hewlett. minister.-Study
service 10: classes for all: morning worship.
II. GOOD BY RELIEvING''; evening service,
7:3O "A STRONG MAN: midweek prayer
and social service. Thursday at 73O. Free
news All welcome
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-05

WEST WASHINGTON BAPTIST CHURCH, 31st
and SITS. NV. Rev. B. p. Cav. pastor-9:45
am am; graded Bible school; G. F. Enbank. supt:
T:45 pm. pastor will preach and administer
the ordinance of baptism Seats free. All
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-05
CHURCH NOTICES.
BAPTIST.

Emmanuel Baptist Church,
18th st. and Columbia road Rev. Cove Grif.
nth johnson. D. D.. pastor.-Pubfc worship Mt
II am. and 7:45 pm. with sermons by the
pastor; subjects. morning. .'our Joy: even.
ing. The Manliness of Christ" mems night:
Bible school at $50 am: Y. P g. G. E.
6:45 Pm: prayer meeting. Thursday. PM
cordial welcome to you.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-05
D. W. TAYLOR to Be Rear Admiral

Secretary Daniels today announced
that Naval Constructor David W. Tay-
lor will be appointed chief constructor
and chief of the bureau of construc-
ton and repairs with the rank of rear
admiral, to succeed Rear Admiral Rich
ard NJ Watts, whose term of four
years expires December IA. Admiral
Watts future duty has not yet been
determined.
The Oldest known specimens Of writ
ing are in the British Museum. They
are of Chinese origin.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-05

TEMPLE BAPTIST CHURCH. 10Th SITS,
Dr J J. Muir. Notwithstanding. II am.
Gods Oath: 1:45 nm. "Uttermost Ahil-
lty: Bible school 9:3G am. ]. T. Curry.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-05

FOR EXCHANGE
A NUMBER OF PRETTY GOOD
PROPOSITIONS.
Free and clear. A well located
tvO-fnmtly hOuse. Rents for xlO.
Price. 5000. Trade for equity in
dwellings,.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-05
FOR EXCHANGE
FOR EXCHANGE

FOR EXCHANGE
A SPI ENDID OPPORTUNITY
TO BECOME THE OWNER OF
NICE NEW HOl SEES.
We offer the equity In two or i've
new houses on one of the most
popular streets west Of 10th 1t.
Owner will tnke house or ground
free from incumbrances, or take
equities nnd caSh. The houses are
beautiful; 10 rooms, baths, HOT
WATER HEAT; - feet front.
Cash price, $500 ench
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-05

Grace Baptist, a pa.t and I D D s., Johnson
II. Modern Temples: 7:45. "a Mans
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-05
Metropolitan Baptist,
9Th and A ne.

9TH and ne.
=, JOHN COMPTON BALL: pastor
7:45 pm.-.'Tae Question That Will Puzzle
the Sinner At the Judgment.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-05

FIFTH BAPTIST. NEAR 7th S.W.-PASTOR
John r. Briggs will preach at II and 7:45:
S. S.. $50: B. Y. P. O.. 6:45: ladies' exchange
and supper. Tuesday and Wednesday nights.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-05

pm. Swem's Songs. II am. Fronting
the Father" Centennial Bapt Ch.. and 18th
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-05

CALVARY BAPTIST CHURCH sth AND II
SITS NV, Rev. Samuel H. Greene, D. D.. pas
tor: Rev. A. F. Anderson. assstant-sunday
school. $50 am: II am. sermon by the pas
tor on thirty fifth anniversary of his pastorate:
8 PM. silver Jubilee of the Society of Chris
tan Endeavor: prayer meeting. Thursday.
pm: Teachers Club pm: c. E. meet
ings: Sunday, pm; Tuesday. s pm. All
are cordially invited
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-05
FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH.

18TH and q streets.
Rev. ". W. MONSTER Minister
sermon at II am. and nm. by the pastor.
So: 9:45 am: c. F.. pm
Music nv quartet choir
COME AND WORSIIIp WITH I-s
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1914-12-05
CONGREGATIONAL.

FIRST CONVERSATIONAL CHURCH. 10th
and G SITS. NV, Rev. Jay T. Stocking. D. D.,
pastor: Rev Lewis E.. Purdum, asst pastor
subject OF Music by auar
tet and chorus choir; $50 In, Sunday school.
6:45 pm. P. S: c: E. pm, AN EVEN
subject, MUSIC IN THE BIBLE
MT. PLEASANT CoNGREGATIoNAL. CoLUM-
bia road near 18th st. Rev. Clarence A. Vim,
cent, D. D., Misunderstanding service, II
am. celebration of the Lords supper and
admission of members: evening service. 8
Nan Who Isnab s s,odaT scSoo e 5 m
adult classes. 10 am; Christian Endeavor
meeting. GAS pm.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
BRITISH SUBMARINE SINKS
SECOND GERMAN DESTROYER

London Submarine E-9 of the Brit
ish navy, under command of Lieuten-
ant Commander Max X. Horton,
Thursday made another raid into Ger
man waters off the mouth of the River
Ems and succeeded in sinking Ger
man torpedo boat destroyer. This
same submarine, under the same COM
mand, made similar dash and sank
the German cruiser Hela off Heligo-
land September l3. AS on the former
occasion, the E-9 returned safely to
her home port.
The action took place at l o'clock
and was witnessed by the Dutch coast
guards on the Dutch island of Schier-
monniekoog, in the North Sea, off the
province Of Friesland
The weather was clear and the sea
calm and the destroyer could plainly be
seen cruising before the mouth of the
Ems. Suddenly the observers saw a
high column Of water rise near the
bow of the destroyer. The vessel
turned over and sank in three minutes.
Shortly after the explosion the peri
scope of the submarine came above.the
surface of the water for a moment, but
as soon as those on board observed the
plunger had struck its mark the vessel
was again submerged.
A German cruiser and torpedo boat
came quickly to the rescue of the crew
OF the destroyer, who could be seen
swimming about in the vicinity Of the
disaster or clinging to the wreckage of
their sunken ship.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
Rheumatic Throat
Is Common Trouble
Should Be Treated in Blood
To Prevent Recurrence.

There are successful gargies that stou
soreness In the throat, but to prevent their
incessant return, the blood must be put In
order. The best remedy Is s. s. s., as 1t
influences all the functions OF the body to
neutralize the irritants or waste products
ana to stimulate their excretion through
the proper channels.
Rheumatic sore throat Is q dangerous
Indication. as 1t means that the blood is
loaded with more uric acid than the kid
neys can excrete, and may thus lead to
serious general disturbance.
The action Of s. s. s, stimulates cellular
lrritants In local spots. 1t enables the
arteries to supply quickly the new red
blood to replace worn-out tissue.
i. For this reason uric acid that finds the
throat an easy prey to Its breaking down
influence. Is scattered and eliminated. In
other words, s. s. s. prevents chronic con.
dltions by enabling all the mucous Innings
Of the body to secrete healthy mucus. Its
influence Is shown In q marked Improve
ment Of the bronchial tubes. whereby the
huskiness Of voice with thick. grayish ex-
pectoratEons Is overcome. 3. 8. s., well
diluted with water, means 9 blood bath,
since 1t Is welcome to any stomach and at
once gets into the blood.
8. s. s. Is free OF all minerals and con-
tains ingredients wonderfully conducive to
wcil-halsnced health.
You can get It at any drug store, but Do
not accept anything else. There is danger
In substitutes. s, 5. s. Is prepared only BY
The Swift Specific Co. b2s Swift Bldr.-
Atlanta. Ga. Our Medical Dept win give
YOU free Instruction BY mall on any subject
Of biood disoEders Writa today,
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16

narde, 15 miles southwest Of Ghent,
and Leupeghm, small town about a
mile south of Audenarde.
AFTER an hours engagement the
Belgians received reinforcements and
threw back the Germans with heavy
losses"
An Amsterdam dispatch to the Reu-
ter Telegram company says:
"Among the refugees who left Ant
werp were Cardinal Mercier and the
minister of justice and other high off
cials. They travelled by automobile to
Flushing, from which point they pro-
ceeded to Ostend.
more than 10000 fugitives have
arrived at Rozendaal, at which place
the bombardment of Antwerp can
clearly be heard"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
BY Way OF Inducement.

A certain youngster in Washington
was one day suffering greatly by rea
son OF an aching tooth. His mother
was endeayoring to calm him against
the necessary visit to the dentist.
You'll have 1t out, won't you,
dearie?" the mother pleaded. 1T won't
hurt much. and then the ache will all
be over"
But then the unhappy child began
to howl with pain. His brother, year
older, was likewise distressed, and
added his pleadings to those of the
mother.
do have It out, DEAR repeated the
mother.
Yes, Dick, have II out" added the
brother. 1T will be one less to clean
you know."-Lippincott's Magazine.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
Idle Period Not Feared.

London-David Lloyd George chan
cellor Of the exchequer, in speech to
deputation Of the workers national
committee, said it was not at all GER.
tain that they were not little pre-
mature in looking forward to any con-
siderable amount of unemployment as
the war progressed. The demands on
industry in this country, the chancel-
lor said, would be enormous, but in the
cotton trade the distress undoubtedly
would be severe. That was the only
trade. he added. which had completely
broken down so far.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
Fighters Needs Are First.

London According to the York.
shire Post, the War Office is taking
drastic measures to obtain an adequate
supply of hosiery, underclothes, gloves
and other woolen goods for the army
and navy. All the manufacturers in
Leicester, the chief center of the'wool-
en- industry, have been informed that
their entire product Of heavy goods
must be placed at the disposal of the
War office, and that if a single gar
ment is withheld by a manufacturer or
supplied to any firm, the War office
will at once take over the factory.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
GERMANS GAIN
ANTWERP FORTS
Belgium Moves Seat Of Govern.
ment to OStend.
Western Wings Extended and Ad.
Uance Guard Is Said to Hold
Position Near Arras.

London-Dispatches from Amster-
dam Thursday say that the Germans
continue to lombard Antwerp, that
two more defending forts have fallen
and that the Belgian government has
been moved to Ostend.
Meanwhile the French account Of
the battle of the Aisne says that the
battle on the allies left wing contin-
ues with extreme violence, the line be-
ing extended more and more. The
German account says that the advance
guards of the opposing forces are in
touch north of Arras.
A dispatch from Amsterdam says:
"a message received here from
Client says fighting Of violent char
acter has taken place between Aude-
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
Important Preoautlon.

Are you mixed up in this disturb.
ance?' asked the policeman.
No" replied the law-ablding citi,
zen. "I'm neutral"
Then why do you want to talk to
me?"
Il want my neutrality definitely un
derstood. ! don't desire to take o
chance on what sometimes happens
to the innocent bystander. Washing
ton Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
Broad Humor.

French humor is little too broad
for us, and when 1t isn't too broad II
is apt to be disgusting"
The speaker was Miss Gladys I'm.
ger, who has adapted SO many French
plays. She continued:
"A Frenchman told me a joke the
other day. He said two rustic sweet
hearts were walking out together. The
girl remarked.
II like you very well, CASTOR. all
except those letters G, s. tattooed on
your hand
But, said Castor hotly, don't you
know, my dear, that it's the latest
style to have your initials on your
handkerchief" = Chicago Record
Herald.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
The Successful Brood Mare.

Sloping shoulders and sloping pas
terms, associated with straight, we'll
set, strongly muscled legs and dense,
tough feet are extremely essential. to
longevity or hard service. The back
should be comparatively straight.
strong, short, closely coupled, we'll
muscled and support deep chest Of
medium width, good deep ribs and
flank. The rump should carry width
to the tail, which should set fairly
high. The hind legs of the horse
should be set well under the body.
Strong hooks, well-set and sloping pas
terms are of great value. True, level
action with good style is essential in
all good horses. Breeder and Sports
man.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
Teutons Take Yankee Due.

New York = Dyestuffs valued al
$500, 900 shipped from Basel, Switzer.
land to the firm of Walter F. Sykes &
Co., of this city, and consigned for
America by way of Rotterdam, Hol-
land, were seized September Ia by the
German government. Such is the in
formation contained in a cable dis
patch received here. A protest
against the seizure has been lodged
with the State department at Washing
ton and Secretary Bryan is said to
have notified Ambassador Gerard to
urge release of the shipment.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
Oregon Washington to Get
Tenth Of $40, 600, 600 Fund

| -.
washington, D. C.-One million dol
lars OF the $4,000, 600 appropriate'
by congress to continue river and har
Dor improvements was allotted by tn
secretary OF war for work on the Go
lumbia river, this amount beint
deemed sufiicient to keep construction
under way until another river and har
Dor Dill can be passed.
The total allotment made to projects
IN oregon ana washington was ~.
oSz, ooo, as compared with $z,I!o,s1s
carried by the river and harbor Dill al
tne Time IL encountered opposition II
tne senate oregon and washington
comDined received more tnan one-tentf
o. sne 1uli amount appropriated.
otner amounts ailotued 10 Northwest
ern proJects are: Ceiiio canal, $5zo,
vov' Lower Wliiamette ana OoiumDia
Deiow rortiand, SzoU,ooo; willamette
anu Iannili, ABOVE rortland, Szo. wy;
Solumola, Ceiiio 70 tne mouth OF the
,,hake, S1TyvV' Ioiumpia, bridgeporl
W Mettle rAl's, soo,oooi snake river,
@ouoV' ZOOS pay, Sio'Voo; Coquiiie
Ilver' S1o,oVo, oiuslaw poVoV; en-
e,aiice G Grays na,DUr Siio,ooo; inner
Trays HaDror ana onenaiis river. PIP
oVy; vi oowlltI and Lewis rivers, Soooo.
Inc nperai aiiotment MADE 70 North
Western p1oJects ID result OF ssiong
Recommendations mace Dy tne river
anu narocr engineer Doard, Wnicn re-
centiy Visi.ed oregon ana washington,
ana was 1avoraDiy impressed py the
WORK IN progress tnere' III is noted
snat @ tne aiiotment 1or Coos Bay is
@zo,ooo greater tnan PROVIDED In tne
river ana narDor Dill, ana tne allot-
ment 1or the Columbia river from
bridgeport 70 Kettle Falls is $lo, 600
greater tnan the river and narDor Dill
carried.
A,otments Ior tne mouth OF the
Coluom,a' Ior tne oeiiio canal and for
9rayS narDor are the same as provided
IN tne river ana narpor Dill. a note
wurtny feature q tne aliotment IS tnat
oniy tnose proJects wnich were author
lzea In tne mouse Dill received FUNDS
u,iuer tne apportlonment JUST COM
pleteu, ana tne ne" items inserted IN
.ne pili a,!er y reacned tne senate
naye peeh oisregaroeo Dy tne war de-
par.mene. Tt
isems ior wnicn no ailotment was
mace ana tne amounts proposed Tor
tnuse y, pioJecty IN ene river ana narpor
1. ,gs ~1,cn r iailea are; secoo Neaaiem, Sllo,-
no, zoos river, S3UUU; SluslaW, new
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16

Seattle-The apple trade by far LED
all the fruit staples, on Western ave.
nue. in point of demand, and prices fol-
good stock were such that growers re-
covered much of the earlier losses and
the situation frightened considerably.
On the present level Of 9Oc to 81 fol-
the average good fruit, growers, it is
stated, will net 40@5Oc per box.
Onions are firm. Good locals not
adapted to keeping requirements are
selling at 75c per cwt. Walla Wallas
are about cleaned up at $4,000. No
Oregons are being offered.
Celery is brisk at 40c per dozen.
There are no good Concord grapes on
the market. Prices run from 19f@22tc
and frequently less. Grapejuice and
jellies are about all buyers can see in
present offerings.
Good green corn is scarce. Prac-
tically all the offerings are tough and
close to unpalatable. Prices are 81. so
@1.75 per sack.
Eggs Select ranch, 37@38c dozen.
Poultry - Live hens, lO@l5c per
pound; old roosters, l0c; 1914 broil-
ers, IS q l4c; ducklings, 10 a 12c;
geese, 10c; Guinea fowl, SO per dozen.
Apples-New cooking, 75c@$1 per
box; Gravensteins, 81 q 1.25; Jona-
thans. $1.25; Winter Bananas, $1.50;
Kings, 75c@sl.
Cantaloupes-Ponies, Toe per crate;
standards, $l@l.25; jumbos, $1.25.
Cider-Yakima, 5-gal. keg, $3.50;
lO-gal. keg, s2.S5; legal. keg, 25c
per gal; 50-gal keg, zoe per gal.
Dressed Beef Prime beef steers, 12
@l2tc per pound; cows, 1li@12c;
heifers, 12c.
Dressed Veal-15tc per pound.
Dressed Hogs - Whole, packing
house, lSt per pound.
Dressed spring lamb--l2@13c pound.
Dressed Mutton-9t@1lfc pound.
Hides Sailed, 12fc per pound; salt
kip, lSc; salted calf, l7@lSc; green
hides. 11fc; dry hides, 24@25c; dry
salt, 2l@22c; salted bulls, &C.; green
bulls, Sc.
Observation-Disclosures 75lS5c per
dozen; beans, green, 6162c per pound;
bell peppers, Wenatchee, Glib. boxes,
50@60c; beets, new, $l.25 per sack;
cabbage, local, 1c per pound; red, lie;
corn, green. 81. .50@l. 75 per sack; car
rots, local, 81; cauliflower, local, Toe
per dozen; celery, local, 40c; cucum-
bers. field. s6@40c; eggplant, 75c@
81; lettuce. local. 40c per box; onions,
green, 25 a SOC per dozen; walla
Walla, S5 a 90c per cwt.; Australian
brown onions, sl@l.25; local, lie per
pound; parsley, 25c per dozen; pota-
'oes, White River, s2l per ton; Yaki-
mas, S25; sweets, $4,000 per cwt.
local. l5c per dozen lunches;
'utabagas. Alaska, 50 per sack; spin
sch. local. Toe per crate; sprouts, 10c
yer pound; squash, local, $l.750l2 per
w.t.; tomatoes. local, S0@40c per
rate; turnips. new. white. $l.25 per
Jack.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16

New York--The British consul gem
eral here declined a present of several
dozen white handkerchiefs for use Of
the soldiers at the front. ''The Brit
ish soldiers are not allowed to carry
white handkerchiefs". he said. can
enemy seeing them might mistake
them for q signal Of truce or surren-
der"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
Weekend In the Village.

The Tourist depending weekend
in the village, to the Oldest inhabitant)
We'll, don't know what you do
here. It's certainly the most dead
and-alive show was ever in. The
Oldest Inhabitant-Ah, q ought to
wait till next week, zur, an see how
the place 'ull be stirred up then. The
Tourist--Why, what's on next week?
The Oldest Observation-Disclosures
don Sketch.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
Citizen Attack Punished.

Rome, via Paris = A telegram re-
ceived here from Berlin says:
"The civilians Of Lanaeken, Bel.
gium, having attacked German troops,
reprisals were necessary. Lanaeken
was bombarded and Is church de-
stroyed. Along the road between
Lanaeken and Tongres all the houses
were burned"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16

London-Telegraphing from Belfort,
France, the correspondent of the Daily
Mail says: "The Germans are try
ing to make the world believe that
they still hold Alsace, but as a matter
Of fact the French are there in thou
sands and so we'll established that the
enemy has not dared to attack them.
There is nothing in front Of the French
force of occupation. If they wish
they can walk right through to the
Rhine.n
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
Gift Exceeds $500. 600.

New York-The sum bequeathed by
Mrs. Frank Leslie, who died recently,
to Mrs. Carrie Chapman Gait, the suf-
frage leader, is in excess of $500, 900,
in the opinion Of William Nelson Crom-
well, one Of the executors of the
estate. The will has been filed. The
entire residue of the estate is left to
Mrs. Gait, with the expressed desire
tina. 1t be used in the furtherance Of
woman suffrage. Specific bequests to
individuals, mostly relatives, total ap-
proximately $3.50, 900.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
Boarding House Gossip.

"Billson, yonder, tells me he trusts
his wife implicitly and absolutely,
but"
"Well?"
"Well, | notice he carries his change
and his fishhooks loose in the same
pocket. Judge.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
tiardshlps Of War.

Lady-Yes, they are very nice
gooseberries, but aren't they dirty!
Street Vendor--Dirty! Think can
wash em and part their air dahn the
center for tuppence pound In these
ere war times?-London Opinion.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
CoincIdence.

Counsel-Where were you on the
night Of the burglary?
Prisoner-I was attending to me
business.
Counsel-Good! Fine alibi, that!
And what Is your business?
Prisoner-Cracking safes.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
Great Invention.

Il reckon" said Farmer Corntossel,
"as how mebbe barbed-wire ought to
be counted as one Of the most useful
inventions of the age"
For what reason?"
when there's a lot O. work to be
done, barbed-wire makes 1t impossible
fur feller to sit on the fence an look
n."-Washington Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1914-10-16
A Good limo To RauIn

Nod-Here's doctor who says you
can get into the habit of not sleeping
without physical harm.
Todd-Thats an idea. When Is the
best time to begin?
Nod-I'm going to try 1t while my
wife is away for the summer-Life.