The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1914-09-18
HELM ON MoNDELL

AdICSiOuS COuuu6uLS Oh Tic DdILl0 vi
Bull Run, Blaines comparing Conk-
ling to "strutting gobler," and Proc
tor Knots famous Duluth speech are
remembered.
In lighter vein the following wit
ticisms from Mr.. Heflin of Alabama
amused the house the other day and
made it forgetful of the wa~ in Europe
during it's deliverance.
We print it because we know that
it will be enjoyed.
The Albanian said:
"Mr. Helm. Mr.. Chairman, | re-
greet that my distinguished friend
from Wyoming (Mr Mondell) is not
in the Hail. He found that I was out
of the Hall about five minutes yester-
day and made mention of the fact to
the House.
The gentleman from Wyoming, Mr..
Chairman, is not always here.
but he is always speaking when he
is here. Oaughter).
The gentleman by his constant
speaking has long since refuted the
doctrine that the mill never grinds
with the water that has passed, for
those of us who sit here listening to
his speeches day after day, bearing
the affiiction as best we can (laugh-
teri can testify that the constant
murmur and ceaseless flow of this
winding stream of talk is taken up
and poured back over and over again
on the old mill wheel from Wyoming.
Naughter.)
Speech makers may come and
speech makers may go, but the gen.
tleman's speeches flow on forever.
daughter and applause.)
Mr.. Chairman, when the time for
his final departure is at hand and he
passes from US forever a fitting in
scription on the slab above his rest
ing place would be like the one above
IllC QuSL vi
Here lies the body of Ephriam Cor
don,
With movemented mouth and tongue
accordin.'
Be careful, stranger, how you walk,
Or he'll come up in flood of talk.
daughter and applause
And, Mr.. Chairman, in the far-away
time of the great hereafter, where it
is said if we are good fellows here we
shall be good fellows there, and the
things we do here are the things we
will do there, and never be tried at
all, 1 have thought that if the gentle
man from Wyoming should reach that
celestial city with his disposition to
talk, with tireless tongue and debate
unlimited, if ever he once gets recog-
milton for speech, God of our faith
ers, be with us yet! daughter and
applause.)
Why, Mr.. Chairman, almost any
Member of this House, confronted
with that situation, would say to ST.
Peter, Cast me back into pagan night
to take my chances with Socrates for
bliss rather than be celestial in a
realm like this daughter and ap-
plause.J And, Mr.. Chairman, can
see one of the Virginia Members as
he reaches the pearly gates. st. Pc
49, GGXNhn hnrn4
And when the gates stood ajar the
Virginian, recognizing that familiar
voice from Wyoming, would turn to
st. Peter and say: take me back
to old Virginia" (Laughter.)
And then, Mr.. Chairman, I can see
the gentleman from Oklahoma (Mr.
Ferris), who has been sitting here day
after day during the long, long sum-
mer with this perfect flood of useless
talk poured in upon him by the gen.
tleman from Wyoming Qaughter)-I
can see him arriving at the gate up
yonder and as it stands ajar he leans
forward and listens and says, What
is all that talk / hear within?" And
st. Peter answers, ct is Mondel, of
Wyoming, United States of America,
once a member of Congress. He has
been talking ever since he arrived
Laughter.) And then l can see the
gentleman from Oklahoma as he
shakes his head mornfully, and says,
Hell can not be such a bad place,
after ALL" And he, too, declines to
enter. (Laughter.)
And then Mr.. Chairman, I can see
the speaker of the House arrive, NOV
ing with stately tread toward the gate
of st. Peter looks at him a moment,
and then opens wide the gate. The
speaker views the gentleman from
Wyoming standing on a pyramid OF
celestial bodies that he has talked