Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1914-10-01
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
:HOWTohlAAGE HUSBANDS:
! 4
by. JosEPH BERNHARD.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Manage Husbands" sersnely began
the girl who likes to talk. Then the
storm broke and she paused.
You haven't husband" cried the
bride.
That's why I'm entirely competent
10 handle the subject" retorted the
girl who likes to talk.
why. you can't manage a canary.
let alone a mani" scoffed her sister.
II said husband not mere man."
sweetly explained the girl who likes
10 talk. Any kind of man can be
man, but II takes a particular kind
10 be husband. That's why 50 many
women make unsatisfactory don't ap-
preciats the difference. They are ex-
aatly as foolish as the men who think
any kind OF nufTy-s.ffies girl has In
her the markings OF an ideal cook and
housekeeper ready to pop forth like
the cap In a Christmas cracker!
why. it's no more natural for one
Of these snaky. fascinating. almond
cred sirens that men 60 crazy over
TO keep house than It is for every man
60 like to dig bitches Just because
that's a mans work! However, that
isn't the point.
Naturally. any woman with sense
will keep her iron hand concealed
within her glove. but no matter how
much she COOS away In public about
what Jack says and how Jack wants
this or Jack wants that she knows
perfectly we'll that in reality she 10
ruling Jack with precision and dis
patch, and II she has had time enough
he is jumping through hoops and lying
down and rolling over In haste at the
crack of the whip.
| Il don't believe in the crushed mar.
ried women you read about! Any
woman has II In her power to make
things so awfuily uncomfortable for q
man at home that II she let's him
bully her she deserves II as a reward
for her own stupidity. OF course
there are eccentric men who under
circumstances like these will shrug
their shoulders and go to the club or
the theater and forget It, and then
friend wife loses the trick, but the
average man is lost outside his own
home and you couldn't pry him away
IL you tried.
He Is helpless In the hands of the
feminine enemy. He couldn't find his
clean shirts to save his neck. and
long, long ago he lost track OF the
lair from which emerge his clean
handkerchiefs and socks, He has
trustfully received them from the
hands OF his wife for so many moons
that he'd have to hire a detective
agency n he had to search for them
himself. AS for towels. ell he has to
do is stretch forth his hand and open
the cupboard door In the bathroom,
but he never does IL. He cranes his
neck over the stairs and shouts down
reproachfully to his wife that there
apparently Is not towel in the house.
and he pathetically wishes, IL IL is not
too much trouble, that she would
ascend the stairs and find one. He
hates to bother her, of course. but ne
really must have q towel.
Then he stands more or less pa
tiently while she opens the cupboard
door and bumps him In the nose with
II and gets. towel and stuffs It into
his hand. Perhaps, however, she tar
ries to wipe the back OF her husbands
neck and ears for him. like one woman
| knew.
why, heard about man who got
married because he had millions OF
loving relatives and 1t drove him
crazy buying presents for them at hol-
ida3 time. and he knew that IL he had
wife she would have to buy the pres
ents. Husbands shift all sorts OF
things upon their wives shoulders be-
sides shopping. They make them do
all the dinner calls and the letter
writing and the charity work and the
battling with house bills, and the in
yitation let, and IL q woman Is wise
she will submit to ii. The secret Is
to make your husband so dependent
ON you that he'd be lost without you,
and then he'll be so scared at the idea
of losing you that he'll let you do any
old thing you want tot"
Il don't see anything very bright
about that" said the sister OF the girl
who likes to talk. 'In plain words.
make q slave OF yourself in order to
boss your husband. Who comes out
ahead?"
II arn sure" said the bride. II don't
have to manage Jim. He Is perfectly
lovely TO me and let's me have my own
way In every"
"oh. my book isn't going to be writ
ten for cynies and little blind geese
like you two" explained the girl who
likes to talk. TITS for the women who
realize that they've either got to man
age their husbands or die in the at
tempt. And mostly" added the girl,
with sigh, they dot"
What" asked the bride.
Die" explained the girl who likes