Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1914-01-30
OLD MAN
Excuse Blueiackets Give for
Breaking Rules.
Some Of Them Are Novel; Sailor
Drunk on Shore Duty, Blamed LO-
cal Malaria Epidemic as the
Cause Of His offense.

Nov lay aft to the mast al-ll the re-
ports"
When this word Is passed aboard
one OF Uncle Sans battleships 1t Is
time fer the sailorman ION report" 10
think Of his excuse, If he has one, for
the mast Is the daily court held
aboard ship by the captain. and 1t Is
there that punishnents are handed out
10 the offenders against the ships
rules for the previous "a hours.
It is there that the offender is ex-
cused, passed along for a courtmar-
tiai or given a minor punishment, ac-
cording TO the nature Of his offense.
the shippers humor and his readiness
with the gift OF CAB" Many and
varied are the pleas put up by the de-
Tense. Some of them would entitle
the author to life membership In the
Ananias club. and II the captain Is q
good one from the bluejackets point
of view he viii give you the benefit OF
the doubt when otherwise anything
from few hours extra duty on tho
quarter deck with a rife 10 short
stay in the brig on bread and water
viii be your portion.
AT eleven o'clock every weekday
morning the reports" are all assem-
BLEED at the mast. The executive officer
reports ths fact u the captain The
bugler sounds attention as the old
man" appears on deck. mental re-
hashing OF stories and stiffening OF
barbo roao N,w4n thn If.o The rrdar
reports. salute" Is given and the cap
tain is ready to hear the iirst case.
Brown, II. r.. two hours over leave
from liberty" reads the yeouan
standing by with the records and re
port book. Brown steps forward,
saiutes. gives his spiel and Is excused
or punished. according to tho fates
and the shippers humor.
Well. sir. You see" he explains. 1T
was just like this. was called late
this morning. Just had time TO make
a run for the dock and catch the last
boat for the chip was coming along
straight for the ship when ] passed the
Salvation Army. The band struck M
The Star .Spangled Banner. and. OF
course. ! hfd to atop and stand ut al.
tention until they had finished. BY tina
time had missed the boat
The captain calls for Browns enlist
ment record, looks Il over and sees
that Brown Is q hahltual liberty break
er. Young man" he says. 4 don't be
llevc you. four hours extra duty with
rifle on the quarter deck. and Brown
retreats forward to explain bis case 20
his ahlpmates.
The story Is told of o captain. old In
the service OF the navy and wise IN the
ways OF liberty breakers, who claimed
70 have heard every excuse that could
be offered at the mast for oyerntaying
shore leave. Should man give him
new excuse be declared be would be
excused. but for an excuse he had
heard before the punishment was 10 be
doubled.
Before long man appeared At the
mast three days ovey leave. Sir" he
said. 4 heard about your offer for a
new excuse. Accidentally broke ny
liberty for an hour aud have been
over In town ever since trying TO think
up q new one
60 forward" said the skipper.
The yeoman consults the reports
book.
Smith. g. f.. drunk on duty ashore"
he reads. and Smith. a newly rated pet.
a. officer, steps forward. cycling the
Grow" on his right sleeve 10 a manner
that would lead one 70 suspect that be
was fearful Il would soon take flight
and soar away.
Well. young man. what have you 70
ssyY"
you see. sir. ii Was this way. was
sent ashore on patrol. You know, sir,
how the doctor has warned US about
the epidemic OF malaria now prevalent
and the danger Of drinking the water
ashore. As preventive took an
overdose OF whisky and"
'Twenty-four hours solitary confine
aaent on bread and water. Master az
arms. take him away"
E~t-ea~. ard ths chase